Buffy Summers watched as her nine-month-old baby boy crawled around, his squeaks of laughter causing her smile to widen. “Mmm,” the baby mumbled, still trying to get down how to say ‘mom’.

“That’s right,” she said with a smile. Giggling, Jaden crawled up to his mommy and tried to use her as leverage to stand up. When he grabbed her upper arm to steady himself, she winced, but didn’t pull away. “It’s okay, Jay,” she assured him. He’d stopped laughing at her hiss of pain, but now that she was smiling at him, he continued to try and stand on his own.

Unfortunately, it ended in him landing on his behind again. However, this didn’t cease his laughter as he started to crawl around.

When her son was occupied with his toys, she pulled up her short-sleeved shirt to reveal a dark, bruised handprint. Taking a deep breath, she dropped the sleeve and tried to focus on her baby again.

When the sounds of a car pulling in the driveway sounded, Buffy’s eyes widened. It was well after 8pm. If he was coming home at this time, it meant he was drunk. He’d left work early to get drunk. But, no surprise, it’s what he always did.

“Buffy,” came her mother’s worried voice as she came into the room. Buffy gulped, nodding at her mother that she knew he was home.

“Take him upstairs, Mom,” Buffy ordered firmly.

“Buffy-”

“Go,” she said more firmly as the car door outside slammed shut.

Joyce hesitated, but went over to Jaden and picked him up. He started crying in protest and reaching for his mom as his grandmother hurried with him up the stairs. “And keep him quiet!” Buffy said, her voice becoming urgent as the front door opened.

With wide eyes, Buffy remembered the toys that were still out. Hurrying, she started to pick them up.

But when she heard the front door open and then slam shut, she closed her eyes for a brief second, willing it all away. Turning slowly, she looked at her father who stood less than three feet away. “What, you can’t say hi?” He hissed and started to walk past her. He smelled drunk, and he definitely looked it.

“Hello,” she said politely.

Buffy could only thank God that her baby had stopped crying before he’d walked in.

“Did your mother fix me something to eat yet?”

“No, but-”

“Well, then did you?” He asked angrily.

“I didn’t have time, I-”

She was cut off by a sharp backhand to her left cheek. “You didn’t have time? If you’re going to disrespect me, you had best come up with a better excuse.”

“Dad, I…”

“You what?” When she didn’t answer, anger boiled inside him. With a solid punch to her jaw, she hit the wall behind her. “Answer me when I talk to you!”

With the blinding pain, she couldn’t have talked if she tried. “You know what happened today?” He questioned angrily, already hitting her again.

“Dad, please,” she said, holding back her tears.

“The job I’ve had for eighteen years…I lost it today! You want to know why?”

Buffy shook her head ‘no’, causing him to anger again. This time, his foot came out to connect with her midsection.

“Because every morning I’m getting there late because of that damned baby of yours!”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled softly, unable to hold back her tears a moment longer.

“Sorry? What do we do for money now? Huh? Answer me!” He was about to hit again when a hand came out and bravely punched him. Turning to face his attacker, he saw his wife standing there. “That was stupid,” he told her before bringing his fist down on her.

“Mom!”

“Shut up!”

It had been bad before. Her and her mother had gone through his abuse since she was ten. But honestly, it had never gotten this bad. Usually, he’d grip her arm hard enough to bruise, or he’d hit her once. Joyce usually wasn’t hurt very much either.

This was the first time he’d honestly tried to hurt them this much.

When Buffy processed this, she knew something bad would happen.

--Flashback--

“You’re what?” Joyce asked with wide eyes.

“I’m pregnant,” Buffy repeated with sad eyes.

Joyce only stared at her daughter for the next few moments, before she found her voice again. “Buffy…you’re 16-years-old.”

“I know,” Buffy said quietly, biting her lip to keep back what she wanted to say.

“Who’s the father?” Joyce asked, not sounding angry, just shocked still.

Buffy didn’t answer, only let all the tears from the past month resurface and fall silently. “Buffy? Who?”

“I…I don’t know,” she said, looking down.

Joyce’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. It was hard to process her daughter sleeping with one person…but so many that she didn’t know who the father was? “How do you not know?” The older woman couldn’t help the anger that seeped into her voice.

Not able to make herself say it, Buffy only cried. She cried so hard that for the next few minutes, all her mother could do was hold her close.

--End flashback--

“Stop!” Joyce cried when her daughter hit the wall again. “Hank!”

He was currently holding his daughter by her upper arms, and repeatedly banging her back against the wall.

He finally let her fall to the floor, and pushed Joyce out of the way as he headed toward the kitchen.

--Flashback--

When Buffy finally stopped crying, her mother pushed some hair out of her eyes. “Buffy…”

“Seven weeks ago,” was her reply. When her mother just looked on in confusion, Buffy gulped. “The baby was conceived seven weeks ago. I was…”

“What?”

“Walking home, and…it was late…dark. There was someone…I don’t know who…”

Joyce’s eyes were already widening. “I…I was raped,” Buffy finished in a strong voice. “I thought…that it was over. I was scared to tell anyone…so I didn’t. I thought it was in the past…but now…I’m carrying his baby…and…” Buffy strong tone faded, leaving her and her mother in tears again.

--End flashback--

“What the hell are you doing!?” Buffy screamed, ignoring her own pain as her father held a gun toward her mother. A gun she didn’t know he’d had.

“Something that should have been done a long time ago,” he answered with hatred. Buffy knew if she moved forward, he’d only shoot.

Frozen by her fear, the world went in slow motion as her father pulled the trigger. Now the woman who was not only her mother, but her best friend, was falling to the floor, blood already seeping through her white shirt.

“No!” Buffy heard herself scream, and all rational thought fled.

Lunging herself at her father, she ignored the second shot he made toward her, not even caring if he’d actually managed to shoot her.

The gun fell from his grasp and went under the couch as she delivered punch after punch to him.

Something was making her weaker and weaker, because Hank managed to throw her off of him, making her hit her already bleeding head hit the edge.

That’s when the sounds of a wailing baby were heard. They didn’t know how long Jayden had been crying, but in the silence, his cries were deafening.

When Hank started for the stairs, she knew he was going after Jaden. Her Jay.

“No,” she mumbled weakly, trying to force herself to stand up. By the time she was steadying herself on the coffee table, her child’s wails turned even louder. Closing her eyes, she heard loud bangs and other harsh noises.

By the time she’d managed to get to the bottom step, Jay’s cries stopped abruptly. Eyes widening in fear, she didn’t even hear the sounds of sirens coming up the street. All she was focusing on was her baby, and getting him safe.

By the time Buffy reached her baby’s room, she didn’t see Jay or Hank. But the window was open. That’s when the sirens hit her ears and she knew Hank had heard them too and fled.

Not caring about her father at the moment, she searched for her baby, and instead found a dark coat of blood on the carpet.

With wide eyes, she frantically followed the trail of blood to the other side of the crib.

“Jay,” she barely whispered at seeing her son on the floor, blood all over him. His eyes were closed and she didn’t know if he was bleeding or not.

An agonizing scream tore from her throat as she fell to the floor, cradling her bleeding boy.

---

The next few hours went by so fast and incredibly slow at the same time. In her mind, nothing existed at the moment.

Police had come, having received a call from one of Buffy’s neighbors. The neighbor had heard a gunshot and called 9-11.

Now she was in a hospital room. They told her that she had been shot in her arm, but it missed all major arteries. She was all patched up and her own bleeding had stopped as she sat staring blankly at the wall opposite her.

“Ms. Summers?”

Her head shot up to a doctor and police officer who had just walked in the room.

Not having anymore tears to cry, she nodded in reply.

“How are my mom and baby?” She asked, fear creeping into her voice.

Looking uncomfortable, the doctor sat on the edge of her bed. “Your mother, Joyce…she was killed instantly when the bullet hit,” he said sympathetically.

Buffy’s heart had already known this, but it still caused unbearable amounts of pain to wash over her. And despite herself, she found new tears coursing down her cheeks silently.

“And Jaden?” She asked in a whisper.

“Ma’am…Your son suffered sever head trauma, and lost a lot of blood.”

“I asked you if he was okay?” She said in a warning tone, her voice treading on sobs again.

“No,” the doctor finally answered. “He was in critical condition when we brought him here, but…he didn’t make it. I’m sorry.”

And in that one moment, she’d lost everything she ever had.

The next day…or, at least Buffy thought it was the next day, a police officer came in. But honestly? She couldn’t tell one second from the next. Because ever agonizing second that ticked by was another that she had to live without her mother and son.

So this is what life had left her with? An abusive father, two corpses, and a bullet wound?

Not much to live for at all.

Snapping out of her thoughts, she turned to the police officer. Her eyes were red and dry from crying and the fact that she hadn’t slept at all.

Seeing her baby’s body…so much blood.

Gulping, she forced the tears away. Instead, she blocked off all emotion. She’d been good at doing that ever since the first time her father had hurt her.

When she did this, she felt nothing. Nothing but a numbness that was almost as bad as the pain itself.

“Ms. Summers?” The officer asked.

“You’re a woman,” Buffy observed, causing the officer to become a little confused.

“Yes…”

“The officer here last night was a man.” She paused. “Did they send you this time to make me feel more comfortable?”

The woman didn’t say anything, just smiled softly and Buffy nodded. “Thought so.”

“Buffy, by your records, it says your only sixteen.”

“Seventeen in three weeks,” Buffy mumbled.

“Right. But our first priority is to get you a place to stay. Do you have any relatives near here that would take you in?” Buffy thought for a moment. She was currently living in a small Georgia town, though she had been born in LA, California.

She didn’t know of any relatives that lived in Georgia though. “No…the only ones that are left are my aunt and uncle in New York.”

“Okay…well, then how would you feel about going there?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Buffy said dryly.

“Buffy…”

“It’s fine. Anything else?”

“Yes…do you have any idea where your father might be?”

Buffy went stiff, her entire being tensing at the thought of him. “No,” Buffy said coldly. “But he better hope that the police get to him before I do.”

--Sunnydale, California--

“Ah, you made it!” Willow said cheerfully as a platinum blonde guy walked up to the table.

“Hey, Red,” he greeted. “Faith here yet?”

“Sorry, Spike. Haven’t seen her,” Xander replied. The three of them had been as close as could be since they met in the seventh grade. Spike had moved from England with his father, Rupert Giles.

They had left England after Jenny’s accident.

Jenny was Spike’s mother. After a car accident, she was in a coma for a year. For some reason, she gave up her fight and passed on.

The first year that Willow and Xander had known Spike, he had been distant and unemotional.

But now that they were in their junior year of high school, they’d helped him through the pain.

But two years ago, Faith came into the picture. She was beautiful, and was the girl who’d gotten Spike’s heart.

“Spike,” came a soft voice as a pair of arms wrapped around his waist from behind.

Smiling, he tilted his head to look at her. “Hey,” he greeted and added a kiss.

Grinning, Faith kissed him back with equal passion, causing the others at the table to groan.

“What, like you don’t make out in public, Red?” Spike asked with a raised eyebrow, causing Willow to blush crimson. Oz, who was sitting beside her actually chuckled a little bit.

“So what’s up?” Faith asked, moving to take a seat.

“Not too much,” Xander answered.

“Oh, hold back the enthusiasm, Harris,” Faith replied sarcastically and grinned a little.

“Let’s dance,” Spike said and tugged on her hand as he pulled her out to the floor.

--Georgia--

“Okay, so we called your Aunt and Uncle, Darla and Angel. They’re picking you up at the airport in New York at 2pm.”

“Do I have time to go home and get a few things?” Buffy asked weakly.

“Of course, sweetheart,” the officer replied with a soft smile.

---

As Buffy slowly entered the house, she was relieved to find all the blood had been cleaned up. Sighing in relief, Buffy closed her eyes to try to ease her troubled mind.

When she heard a noise from upstairs, her mind immediately went to bad thoughts. Remembering how the gun slid under the couch, she lunged over, reached under the couch and gripped the gun in her hand.

As quietly as possible, Buffy walked up the stairs and heard some rummaging sounds from her parents’ room. Gulping once more, she pushed open the door with her foot, gun held out.

What she saw made her eyes widen. Her father had been going through the drawers, gathering up all his money.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Buffy demanded, causing him to snap his head toward her. Seeing the gun facing him, he raised his hands.

“I need some money…”

“You’re running away?”

“Well…” He paused, not knowing the right answer. He’d snuck inside after waking up this morning. The guilt of what he’d done was too much, so he’d decided he needed to get out of town. “Yes,” he finally answered.

“Too much of a coward to face up to what you did?”

“Buffy, I was drunk,” he tried to reason.

Her eyes widened in anger and she took a step into the room. “You’re always drunk! This is the first time you’ve been sober in seven years, so you want sympathy!?”

She laughed bitterly and readied the gun to shoot.

“Buffy…”

“You killed my son, you bastard!”

“I know, I-”

“Shut up!” Buffy felt tears streaming down her cheeks. “I hate you! I’ve hated you since the day you decided I wasn’t good enough!”

Knowing there was nothing he could say, Hank just lowered his gaze. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? My mother and my son are dead! The only two people I have ever loved in my life! And you took them away from me!” Sobs tore from her throat, but she kept the gun steady. “You are nothing to me! I hate you with everything I have left in me!” She regained herself suddenly, tears falling silently, but seemingly calm. “I just wanted you to know that before I killed you.”

--Sunnydale--

“Night,” Faith called as Spike backed out of her driveway and drove away. But instead of going in her house, she stayed on the front porch. Less than a minute later, a black car pulled into her driveway and she grinned. With bounce in her step, she walked down to the car and got in the passenger side.

“Hey, baby,” the driver greeted and Faith leaned over to meet his lips in a passionate kiss.

“Hey to you too,” she replied as he drove away.

She’d been cheating on Spike for three months now. Of course she felt bad about it…but she’d never really loved Spike.

But he loved her, and she knew it. Which is why she could never make herself break up with him.

The guy she was seeing behind Spike’s back was named Parker…who also happened to be one of Spike’s best friends.

“Where we going tonight?” Faith asked, putting her seatbelt on.

“My place,” he answered with a grin and sped up.

--Georgia--

Buffy’s mind was spinning as she began to pull the trigger.

“Get out,” Buffy suddenly ground out, relaxing her finger but keeping the gun up.

“What?”

“Get out of this house. Out of this town. I swear if I ever see you again, I will kill you in ways that aren’t even possible.”

Hank, still confused as to why he was being let go, wasted no time in dashing out the bedroom and then from the house.

Lowering the gun, Buffy felt fresh tears come to her eyes.

She had wanted it so bad. Had wanted to see the blood drip from his skull. She wanted to see him cry out in fear and pain.

And she wanted to see him die.

But as much as she wanted it, she knew she couldn’t. She couldn’t end a life. No one’s.

That would make her just as bad as he was.

And she would never lower herself to that.

With a shaky breath, Buffy went to her room and gathered a few things.

On her way out, she stopped in the baby’s room. Gulping, she went straight to the baby book, picked it up, and left the room.

Walking out the front door, she didn’t look back. She never would. It was a part of her life that never needed to be reopened.

With that in mind, she vowed that she really would close that portion of her life. Forever. If she wanted to keep sane, then she would have to. Because if she thought of Jaden or her mother again, she knew that every ounce of sanity she had would dissipate.

A/N: Thanks for reviews on all of my fics!!