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A/N Goldilocks is the name that Allison and Ashlee came up with for our co-authored stories. This was the first story that we co-wrote together. It was adopted on the Spuffy Fantasy site and was originally started by Pony. We tried e-mailing the original author for permission to use the chapters she wrote (which is the back story of the summary) but never got a reply. If you would like to read the first few chapters, go to www.spuffyfantasy.com - we feel confident that our story can stand on its own, so there will be minimal confusion, but if you have any questions please feel free to ask. The main thing you should know is that Buffy left very abruptly, not bothering to work out any problems she may have had and she left a teenaged Spike a heartbroken, single parent. Our part of the story takes place five years later. Please review!

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Chapter 1


New York City, New York- Summer 2004


Buffy sat in her office at the art gallery she co-managed and sighed. She was completely exhausted. It was nearing eight o’clock at night, and she had put in fourteen hours already. She yawned and rubbed her eyes sleepily before opening a desk drawer to retrieve a contract she needed soon for an upcoming artist premiere. As she was scouring through files, her eyes fell upon a small picture nestled behind all of the folders. Picking it up, Buffy looked at it sadly. The beautiful blue eyes of her baby daughter stared back at her. Her baby daughter who was no longer a baby. Her little smile that haunted Buffy, lingering with her wherever she went, no matter how long she had been away. Buffy set the picture on her desk and studied it.

It had been almost five years since she’d left Sunnydale and everything that was there. Her family, her friends, Spike, and her precious Dawn. She loved Spike and her daughter immensely, but it just wasn’t enough to keep her there. She had so many ambitions she wanted to fulfill and dreams she had yet to accomplish before she could settle down as a mother, a wife, and an adult. Nevertheless, she often had dreams about the night she left, the expressions on Spike’s face killing her every second that she relived it.

They hadn’t spoken since she left, and her parents didn’t give her much information besides the fact that Spike and Dawn were both fine and that Dawn was a healthy and beautiful little girl. Buffy wasn’t surprised that they didn’t give her much to go on considering the fact that she walked out on her child, abandoning her and leaving behind the man she loved. Her parents were upset that Buffy could do such a thing, but she figured that they would understand more, once they found out how successful she had been since she moved.

She tried life in Florida for a while, trying to acclimate to her surroundings and taking some college courses. It was during an art class that her professor offered her the chance to be an intern for one of his contacts in New York. Buffy promptly took it and moved north, settling down there and establishing herself as an art connoisseur. She worked at a gallery in the city for two years before becoming a manager there. It was her dream job, and she found herself to be truly happy.

As she reflected on everything, she realized that although she didn’t regret leaving Sunnydale and becoming a powerful force in the art world in New York City, she pined for seeing her daughter again. Coming across the picture, now on her desk fueled the flame inside of her, making her wonder how Dawn looked now, how her life was. Her thoughts strayed to Spike and how he was doing, but her need to see Dawn became consuming suddenly.

She felt skittish as she considered returning back to Sunnydale for a brief trip. How would everyone react? The only people she kept in close contact with were her parents and Willow. Would they be happy to see her? What would Spike say? Would he let her see Dawn? How would Dawn react to her? What was she expecting to gain from this trip? Was it worth the anxiety?

“Yes, Summers, it really is,” she said, jumping up from her desk and grabbing her purse, quickly exiting the office. Her fellow manager Cordelia was sitting in her own office, shopping on-line. Cordelia looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. “I’m taking some time off. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I need to go home for a while. Sorry for the short notice, and take care.” Buffy turned on her heel and practically ran to the door to leave.

“Wait? What just happened?” Cordelia asked, tilting her head and looking at the door close behind Buffy. She shrugged and returned to bid on a pair of shoes on E-bay

***

After packing up a couple of bags of luggage and calling the airport to buy tickets, she left her loft apartment and hailed a cab, taking it to JFK, fidgeting mindlessly the whole way.

When she got inside the building, she got her ticket and waited for about an hour, pacing the entire time, before getting on the last plane of the night that was heading to Los Angeles. She’d have to rent a car there, but she decided the money was well worth it.

‘Maybe I can write it off,’ she thought to herself.

She willed herself to fall asleep, but to no avail. The plane was playing “Glitter”, so that was out of the question. She noticed the older man beside her fast asleep and exhaled softly, already bored. Her worries of returning suddenly flooded her head again. She heard Willow’s voice in her head, reminding her of what she’d told her on Buffy and Spike’s one-year anniversary of dating.

"You guys are the cutest couple!" Willow exclaimed. "I seriously think you are gonna get married some day."

Buffy sighed and shut her eyes. She and Spike undoubtedly would’ve gotten married if she had stayed. Is that why she ran away? Or was it her undeniable need to become her own person before being tied down by him and Dawn? ‘Yep, that’s it, Little Miss Selfish. You always need to do your own thing. You never worried about whether Spike wanted to be his own person.’

She kept thinking until her eyelids began to droop, sleep overtaking her.

***

Spike had just finished putting Dawn to sleep when the phone rang in his bedroom. He grabbed it before its third ring, hoping it didn’t disturb his daughter. That’s all he would need tonight after a long day at work.

“Hello?” he asked, closing the door of his room. He looked at his Caller ID and smiled. “Fred?”

“Hey,” she replied, and he could tell she was smiling. “Is the little one asleep?”

“Just put her down,” he answered, sitting on his bed and looking at the clock, noticing the blinding red numbers and frowning. He’s been awake for nearly twenty hours already. ‘Bloody brilliant.’

“Well, I don’t want to keep you. I just called to say good night,” she said. “And I’ll see you tomorrow for dinner, right?”

“Count on it, luv,” he smiled. “Good night.” He hung up the phone and sighed, lying back on his pillows. ‘I should head to sleep. Who knows what time Dawn will wake up,’ he thought, getting up and walking to his dresser. He found a pair of black boxers and pulled them out, seeing a small picture of Buffy lying at the bottom of the drawer. He frowned and plucked it out, studying the frozen image of her.

Spike couldn’t deny that he missed her terribly. It was almost five years since she walked out on him and their daughter, writing him a note that he still had, tucked away in his bedside table. They hadn’t talked since she left, and a part of him was okay with that. ‘She was the one who chose to leave- why should I be the one to contact her and her greedy self? Why should I care about her, when doesn’t give a bloody damn about me?’ He narrowed his eyes at picture-Buffy and mentally slapped himself. Who was he kidding? He loved her still, even though he couldn’t believe she could leave him and their baby. How could she be so heartless? Weren’t mothers supposed to have something built in, that would never allow them to be apart from their own flesh and blood? He knew he did and he didn’t carry Dawn for nine months.

‘No, Mate,’ he thought with a sigh. ‘You only carried her for the last five years.’

It was about three months after she left that he moved into his own apartment, not wanting to be a burden on her parents anymore, even though they offered to have him live there permanently. They helped him as much as they could, even giving him money, wanting to do whatever they could to help their granddaughter. He was grateful that they were on his side, but he knew he couldn’t rely on them forever, so he rented a two-bedroom apartment in the downtown area of Sunnydale, near his job.

His friends also played a big part in helping him with Dawn. Willow babysat when she had the free time and he had to work, and when Anya and Xander got married, they practically adopted Dawnie while he was slaving at the restaurant. He was thankful that everyone had stuck by him, not letting his stubborn side keep them from helping him out when he needed it the most.

It was last year when he met Winifred Burkle, Dawn’s kindhearted preschool teacher. He and Fred hit it off on the spot, and after a few months of being friends, they decided to try dating. Dawn of course was thrilled by this, adoring Miss Burkle already as a teacher and enjoying her as a motherly figure, the only one she ever really had, considering Willow and Anya were more like her aunts.

The relationship wasn’t serious yet, with no thoughts of marriage in Spike’s head, mainly because a huge part of his heart was still devoted to the woman that had walked out on him. He didn’t expect her to return, but he still cared about her. She was the first woman he had ever loved, and he always expected her to be the only one.

He felt a tear roll down his cheek and wiped it away hastily. ‘Stop being a ponce, Spike. Get it together.’ He put the picture back in its place and shut the drawer before returning to his bed, getting under the covers and praying that Buffy wouldn’t be in his dreams that night as she had been nearly every night for the last five years.

***

He woke up at 5:45 the next morning, hopping in the shower and getting ready for work at the restaurant he now managed in town. He woke Dawn at seven o’clock, letting her get dressed and watch cartoons while he made her a breakfast of Lucky Charms and juice.

‘I love these mini-marshmallows,’ he thought, popping a few in his mouth.

Dawn ate while he braided her hair, a trick Willow had taught him a couple of years ago that he had perfected into an art form as time passed. Even Fred was impressed with the fact he could do it so well.

“Nibblet, don’t forget we’re going out to dinner tonight with Fred,” he said, finishing with her hair.

“Are you and Miss Burkle going to get married?” she asked, looking up at him curiously, causing a smile to spread across his face.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “Now, finish up with your cereal, and I’ll take you to school.” She nodded obediently and ate while he did inventory of what was in his refrigerator. She gave him her dishes, and he hurriedly put them in the sink before grabbing his car keys. They left the apartment and got into his car before heading off to Dawn’s school. “So, what are you learning in kindergarten today?”

“Miss McClay said we are going to have a surprise today,” Dawn beamed at him. “I hope it’s candy.”

“Just make sure you brush those cute teeth of yours,” Spike smiled, arriving at the school minutes later. They got out of the car, and he walked her into the building, stopping outside of the door. “All right, Daddy will be here after school today, okay?” She nodded, and he bent down to hug her and kiss her forehead before she went into the classroom. He looked into the room and smiled at Tara before leaving and returning to his car.

He headed to the apartment, and as he got there, he noticed a black BMW parked in front of the building. He shrugged it off, figuring it was just another yuppie visiting town and not giving it a second thought as he took the elevator up to his floor. Looking up he came to a screeching halt as he noticed someone in front of his door, waiting. Buffy.

Chapter 2


“What the bloody hell are you doing here?” Spike asked in a low tone, his
voice almost coming out as a growl.

Buffy swallowed nervously as she set eyes on the man in front of her. The
boy that she’d left standing in shock five years ago was now replaced with
a man. Spike was more filled out than she remembered. His cheekbones more
angular, his chest broader, and his eyes definitely held more anger than she
ever remembered seeing.

Buffy stood, almost mesmerized as she stared at him. The years had done
nothing to diminish the love she still felt for this man.

“I…”

“Spit it out, Buffy, I haven’t got all day,” Spike said, fire flashing in
his eyes as he stared at her.

“I had to see her,” she murmured, almost fearing his reaction.

Spike merely raised an eyebrow, obviously not about to give an inch where
his anger was concerned.

“So, after five years, you just decided to make a quick visit home to check
on the daughter you abandoned?”

Buffy stayed quiet, knowing that this was long past due.

“She’s not here,” Spike finished, looking into Buffy’s eyes. She hadn’t
changed that much. Her hair was longer with the natural curl showing and
she had lost a little weight, but the years had obviously been good to her.
Not like he had expected anything less. After all, she got a full nights
sleep every night, whereas he was woken up by a lonely little girl most
nights, terrified that her father wasn’t going to be there when she got up
in the morning. Spike didn’t know if this fear of abandonment stemmed from
her watching other children who had two parents pick them up from school or
merely the fact that Spike was the only person she had and she was scared of
losing him, but he thought she was too young to fear him leaving like her
mother did since she didn’t even remember Buffy.

Buffy shifted nervously under his gaze, unsure if she should leave. She
ultimately decided against it, realizing she couldn’t keep running away from
her problems.

“Can we talk?” she asked quietly.

Spike smiled, looking up at the ceiling. “So now she wants to talk,” he
said to no one, throwing his arms out in a silent plea before looking back
at her. “Unfortunately, no, we can’t talk, princess,” he spat out. “I have
a job I have to get to.”

“I understand,” Buffy said softly, turning for the elevator.

“You understand?” Spike asked with an edge in his voice. “No, I don’t think
you do.” He watched as she turned toward him, tears shimmering in her eyes,
and felt his resolve crumble. “Why now?” he asked, trying to keep the mask
of resentment firmly in place.

“If not now…when?” Buffy asked.

Spike took a deep breath, clenching his jaw as he looked away from her for a
moment. “Come inside,” he muttered, walking past her to unlock the door,
trying desperately not to let her perfume affect him or the fact that the
woman he had wanted more than anything else in this world was now less than
a foot away from him.

Opening the door to the tiny apartment, Spike pushed the door open, allowing
Buffy to walk in first. Buffy jumped slightly when the door shut behind
them as Spike walked past her to sit on the arm of a chair, gesturing for
Buffy to sit on the couch.

Buffy sat down, her back rigid as she worried her bottom lip, not sure where
to begin. Luckily, she didn’t have to.

“Where’ve you been?” he asked quietly, not making eye contact with her.

“Mom didn’t tell you?” Buffy asked in surprise.

“I didn’t want to know,” he replied, getting up from his seat to walk over
to the window. Buffy watched as he threw it open and quickly lit a
cigarette. Normally, he would never smoke in his home, but he desperately
needed the nicotine fix today of all days.

“New York,” Buffy finally answered, watching him as he stared out at what he
could see of Sunnydale. “Florida first and then…I got a job offer in New
York.”

“Good for you,” he replied, still looking away.

“Spike, I’m-“

“Don’t you dare apologize,” he said, whipping his head around to pin her
with his icy blue eyes. “You won’t mean it, so I don’t want to hear it.”

“How do you know I won’t mean it?” Buffy asked angrily as she got up from
her seat.

Spike took a step toward her, his imposing presence crowding her as he
looked into her eyes. “Would you have done anything differently?” he asked,
already knowing the answer to that question but seeing it reaffirmed as
Buffy looked at the ground in shame.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t be sorry,” she said, raising her eyes to his
again. “Just because I may not have changed anything doesn’t mean I don’t
regret what happened.”

“And that’s why you called to check on your daughter?” he asked, his jaw
tightening. “That’s why you bothered to remember her birthday? Christmas?
That’s why you’re here now?”

“God, Spike! I wasn’t ready! I wasn’t ready for any of it- to be a mother,
to act like a grown-up. I had to get out of there for my own good and for
your well-being. You wouldn’t have wanted me to be anywhere near you if I
had stayed another month! I just wasn’t ready.”

“And you think I was?!” he yelled. “You think I knew a damn thing about
raising a daughter? No! But I’m still here,” he said, gesturing to the
floor of the apartment. “I don’t run away from my responsibilities, even if
I wasn’t ready for them. You got to go find yourself and be who you always
wanted to be. I didn’t- but, you know what? I wouldn’t trade that little
girl for all the money in the world!” he continued, pointing at the short
hallway that led to the bedrooms. “Nothing could take me away from her,” he
spat out, looking at Buffy in contempt, trying to hide the feelings that were
still boiling under the surface. “So I’ll ask you again…why the hell are
you here?”

“I’m here now because I want to be-“

“That’s right,” Spike said with a scoff before gesturing to her. “Because
YOU want to be. All bow down to Princess Buffy, her wish is our command.”

Buffy stared at him with an impassive look as he ranted, knowing that this
would come out eventually, and it was better now than later.

“Did you have fun on your ‘soul searching’ quest? Were you able to ‘find
yourself’?”

Buffy stood in shock at the mention of the letter. “You remembered,” she
murmured.

Spike turned, throwing his cigarette out the window before bracing his
hands against the sill as he looked outside. “Some things will be forever
burned in my memory,” he replied, nervously licking his bottom lip as he
avoided her eyes. “That day will be on my list as number three.”

Buffy took a deep breath before asking. “What are the other two?”

“The day Dawnie was born,” he replied instantaneously.

“And the other?”

“The night on the beach…under the fireworks,” he murmured, his eyes glazing
over slightly as his mind brought back the images and sensations of that
night only to shake himself of the reverie. He was a different man now. He
wasn’t the apprehensive, shy boy he had once been. That part of himself was
carefully closed away where no one could see it.

Chapter 3



Work was pure torture for Spike that afternoon. Between several horrible customers and thoughts of Buffy swirling in his brain, Spike was more than ready, after six hours, to go pick up Dawn from school. ‘What do I tell her? Do I even tell her anything?’ he asked himself, tapping his fingers along to the beat of a song that was playing on the radio. ‘How do I tell her?’

As he waited for Dawn to walk out of the building, his thoughts drifted back to Buffy. It was only a few hours ago when she had been standing in his apartment. It wasn’t long after he admitted what would forever be frozen in his memory, when Buffy had excused herself, walking out of his life again- if only temporarily this time, he wasn’t sure. Not that it mattered when she left, or so he told himself, considering he had to go to work. However, he still saw the pain in her eyes, the tears she was holding back that threatened to spill over. He couldn’t believe she had returned at all. He was still convinced it was just a dream.

‘Or a bloody nightmare.’

He saw his daughter walk outside, a smile plastered across her face as usual, accompanied by Janice, her closest friend. He exited the car and smiled, trying to put up a façade of everything being as normal as possible.

“Hi, Daddy,” Dawn said, stopping in front of him. “Janice asked me to come over. Can I?” Spike looked a couple of cars over, seeing Janice’s mother smiling at him, nodding. He inwardly groaned- Janice’s mother was single and constantly making sure that Spike knew it. It was a rare occasion that he wasn’t aware of the crush that the older woman had on him. With a shake of his head to clear is, Spike turned his attention back to his daughter.

“Sure, Little Bit,” he said, leaning down to hug her and kiss her cheek. “I’ll come over after dinner to get you, okay?” She nodded. “And be sure to be good over there. Don’t get in any trouble.”

“Of course, silly,” she giggled, taking Janice’s hand in hers before they walked to her mother’s car. “I love you, Daddy,” she called over her shoulder as she climbed in the car.

Spike sighed with a gentle smile on his face. “I love you, too, Nibblet,” he murmured, before getting in his own car. His thoughts were jumbled as he made the short drive back to his apartment, but he did his best to keep Buffy clear of his thoughts. Of course he was unsuccessful, but he did his best.

Walking into his apartment, he threw himself down on the couch and flipped through TV channels mindlessly. His brain was still going into overdrive. ‘I’m going to have to tell Fred, aren’t I? She deserves to know Buffy is back.’ He frowned, definitely not liking the idea of that impending conversation, before another thought occurred to him.

‘But is she back? It’s just a visit, right? So I wouldn’t necessarily have to tell Fred. Buffy will finish her business here and leave, and Fred would never have to know.’

“Yahtzee,” Spike said, getting up to go and get ready for dinner with his girlfriend.

***

Hours later, he picked up Fred at her apartment, and headed to one of the local restaurants. He remembered the time when he and Buffy went to this same place, when they had just started dating. ‘Great, let’s reflect on that, you ponce.’

He sat across from Fred in a booth and looked at the menu. The couple hadn’t spoken much since he’d picked her up, and Fred was obviously becoming more than a little worried.

“So, how was work today?” she asked, trying to get his attention. He shut his menu, almost violently as he shrugged.

“The usual,” he answered in a sullen tone. She frowned and studied him, noticing that he seemed preoccupied.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, growing more concerned as she watched her. He looked at her and nodded.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, inwardly kicking himself for lying to her. ‘I can’t tell her. No, it’ll cause more trouble, and I’m happy with her. Right, play it cool, mate.’

“How was work for you?”

“It was a good day,” she answered, folding her hands in her lap and giving him a hesitant smile. “A couple of the troublemakers were absent, so the rest of us had a nice time. A couple of finger-paints fell and splattered across the floor, but it turned out all right.” She noticed him not paying attention to what she was saying. “And I got married to Bob Dole and we’ve decided to raise penguins in Guam.”

“Right, penguins,” he said, looking at his hands on the table, nervously tapping a steady beat on the hard surface. He suddenly raised an eyebrow and looked at her. “What?”

“I thought so,” she said, nodding slightly, a sad look crossing over her features. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Spike answered a shade too quickly. She looked down again, and he sighed, clenching his jaw as he looked up at the ceiling for a moment to get his thoughts together. “Fred, I have to tell you something,” he began, lowering his eyes to her. Fred looked up at him with wide eyes. “I don’t really know how to say it, so I’m just going to say it.” He saw the expectant look in her eyes and knew he couldn’t back down. He’d have to do this and it was now or…well…now. “Buffy showed up today at my apartment.” Fred’s face fell, causing Spike’s to fall as well.

“Buffy?” she asked, confused. “Dawn’s mother?” He nodded, and she felt her heart pounding. “She came back today?” Spike nodded again. “What…how…wow.” She looked at her hands again and felt overwhelmed by a torrent of thoughts. “Does Dawn know?”

“I was going to tell her tonight,” he answered, his fingers fidgeting. “Probably...maybe…I don’t know.”

“Is Buffy going to stay?” Fred asked quietly. Spike sighed again and shrugged slightly. “Oh.” She looked at him, holding back tears that were beginning to form. She was overcome with emotions and didn’t know why she was reacting like this. Maybe it was natural to cry over things like that. ‘Tears of joy or tears of sadness?’ she asked herself. ‘After all, a girl should have her mother in her life…but on the other hand, what will happen to us?

“How do you feel about it?” Fred finally asked him.

“I…I don’t know,” Spike answered truthfully, his head reeling with possible answers to the question.

“If you’d like, we can leave,” Fred offered, wanting to give him the opportunity to go home and think.

“No,” Spike said firmly before smiling softly. “We came here to have dinner together, and that’s what we’re going to do.” Fred felt a brief flicker of hope inside and smiled back at him.

* * * * *

Willow and Buffy decided to meet up for dinner that night, going to Willow’s favorite restaurant. Buffy hadn’t been able to resist the temptation of letting her best friend know that she was in town.

The two friends walked in and sat at a booth in the corner, as Buffy looked around. ‘I remember this place,’ she thought, but quickly dismissed it to focus on her friend.

“So how did seeing Spike go?” Willow asked when Buffy closed her menu.

“It wasn’t exactly a happy reunion, but I deserved every word he said to me,” Buffy admitted, looking down at her lap. “But he looks good. Things must be going okay for them.”

“They’re both healthy and doing well,” Willow said, her eyes straying to a table on the other side of the restaurant and noticing familiar platinum hair.

‘Oh goddess,’ Willow thought, her eyes widening slightly.

Before Willow could avert her eyes, Buffy followed Willow’s gaze and saw Spike at a table with a pretty, petite brunette woman.

Buffy’s head started to spin. ‘He’s dating someone?’ She couldn’t ignore a stab of jealousy that coursed through her. ‘Who are you kidding, Summers? You’ve been gone for five years- he deserved to move on and find someone. Of course he’d be dating someone, he’s a good looking guy.’ But that didn’t change the fact that seeing him with another woman hurt...a lot. Willow looked at Buffy, seeing emotions swirling in her eyes.

“Is he…married?” Buffy asked in a quiet tone, looking back at Willow.

“No, they’re just dating,” Willow answered, hoping to set Buffy’s mind at ease somewhat. “It hasn’t been a long relationship, only a couple of months.” Willow was suddenly very grateful that Dawn wasn’t there, too. That would’ve caused a disastrous scene, one that she wasn’t prepared to handle.

It didn’t matter to Buffy. He was with someone else now, a very beautiful someone else and Buffy suddenly felt very inadequate. ‘That could’ve been you. You should be the one in that booth with him, happy. But you threw it all away for your own selfish needs. What kind of monster are you?’

* * * * *

Spike and Fred finished their meal at a much quicker pace than either of them were used to. Since neither was feeling up for a conversation, Spike paid the bill and stood up, trying to remain the gentleman and helping his girlfriend out of her seat.

“Spike, I think you should tell Dawn,” Fred finally spoke up, softly as Spike stared at the floor. “She needs to know.”

Spike looked up with a soft smile on his face, albeit a slightly forced smile. “Thanks, pet,” he murmured, leaning forward to brush his lips across her cheek, clearly avoiding her mouth, before turning and guiding her out of the restaurant. Neither noticing a set of hazel eyes that were trailing after the love of her life and his beauty of a girlfriend as they walked out the door, with a solitary tear rolling down her cheek.

Chapter 4


Spike dropped Fred off at her apartment, before going to pick up Dawn. This was out of the ordinary for them, since Fred always enjoyed seeing Dawnie, even if it was just for a few minutes. However, Spike needed some space, and took the opportunity of being alone in the car to drive around.

How was he supposed to tell Dawn that her mother was back? A mother that she only knew from pictures. Then there was the matter of constantly seeing the sadness in Fred’s eyes and the tears shimmering in Buffy’s. The two images seemed to blur together, making Spike’s life feel even more complicated.

“It’s just a visit,” Spike said to nobody, trying to convince himself that any feelings that he’d once had for Buffy, were now gone.

Pulling into Janice’s driveway, Spike slowly got out of the car, shoving his hands in his pockets as he walked the path to the front door. Taking a deep breath he quickly rang the bell, turning around to look at the neighborhood as he waited. Hearing the door open, Spike turned and was barely able to suppress a groan when Janice’s mother, Kelly, was standing there with a huge smile plastered on her face.

“Hello, Spike,” she said, sugar practically dripping from her voice as she seductively leaned against the doorframe.

“Mrs. Penshaw,” Spike replied, giving her a brief nod in greeting. “Is Dawn ready?”

“Oh, call me Kelly and the girls are upstairs,” she said with a wave of her hand. “Come on in, we can have some coffee.”

Spike hesitantly stepped over the threshold, looking around the interior of the house and hoping to see his little girl come bounding out from behind a corner. No such luck.

“This way, Spike,” Kelly called from the vicinity of the kitchen. “How do you take your coffee?”

“Actually more of a tea drinker,” Spike said as he walked into the kitchen, hovering around the doorway. “And I’m really in kind of a hurry.”

“Oh, pish posh,” she said with a bright smile. “You can stay for a few minutes.”

Spike was about to respond when he heard the wonderful sound of children’s feet clomping down the stairs. Seconds later a little brunette blur came flying through, her braid in disarray as Spike scooped her up with his first genuine smile in hours.

“There’s my Nibblet,” he said, tugging on her braid. “You ready to go?”

“Where’s Fred?” Dawn asked, tilting her little head in a strong imitation of her father.

Spike could see Janice’s mother glaring, out of the corner of his eye. “I dropped her off first. She’ll see you soon.”

“Okay,” Dawn replied with a nod before turning to her friend. “Bye, Janice!”

“Bye, Dawn!” the other little girl cried.

Spike gave a brief nod to Kelly, before hightailing it out the door with his daughter in his arms.

***

Spike stayed relatively quiet until they got back to their place, letting Dawn chatter about her day.

Walking into their apartment, Spike knew that he had to tell her about Buffy and it was better to be sooner than later.

“Sit down, Dawnie,” Spike said gently, watching as Dawn scampered over to the couch and sat down, looking at her father expectantly. Spike crouched in front of her and gave her a soft smile before speaking. “Someone came to see me today, Nibblet…”

Spike paused, biting his lower lip as he wondered how to explain the situation to a five year old.

“Who was it, Daddy?” Dawn asked, her little eyes wide with curiosity.

Spike glanced at the floor, before raising his eyes to hers, again. “It was your mommy, sweetheart.”

Dawn squinted her eyes, slightly, as she looked at her father. “But I’ve never seen my mommy,” she said softly.

“You’re seen pictures,” he reminded her.

“Did she not want to see me?” Dawn asked, the tone of her voice nearly breaking Spike’s heart.

“No, Little Bit, don’t think that. You were the reason she stopped by, but you were in school.”

“Where is she?”

“I think she’s staying with your Grandma and Grandpa,” Spike said softly.

“Can we go see her?” Dawn asked excitedly.

“I don’t know if-“

“Pleeeeaaaase,” Dawn begged.

“What if I ask her to come over here?” Spike asked, not wanting there to be a lot people around for the reunion.

“Tonight?” Dawn squealed, jumping up from the couch, surprising Spike with her enthusiastic reaction.

“If she can,” Spike agreed with a nod.

***

An hour later, Spike was pacing his apartment, wishing for a cigarette while Dawn was back in her bedroom ‘preparing.’ His tie was now laying across the back of a chair along with his coat and the top three buttons of his shirt were undone.

His head nearly snapped up when he heard the soft knock on the door. He had spoken to Joyce, who promised to get the message to Buffy. Spike had been grateful that he hadn’t actually spoken to Buffy, but faced with the inevitable task of answering the door, Spike was almost wishing he had been the one to talk to her. Maybe then some of his nerves would be out of the way.

With a few deep breaths, Spike pulled the door open. He swallowed hard at the image in front of him. Buffy stood there in a simple black dress that set off her golden tan, her hair falling in waves down her back and her wide hazel eyes accented with a soft green shadow. He stared at her for a moment, before opening the door wide enough to let her in.

Buffy turned to him as he closed the door behind her. “Thank you for calling me,” she said softly, with a nervous tremor making its way into her voice.

“It wasn’t me,” he replied, avoiding her eyes. “Dawnie wanted to meet you.”

“Well…thanks for telling her,” Buffy said with a slight smile, trying to put them both at ease.

Spike nodded as he motioned her toward the short hallway, leading to the bedrooms. Stopping at one of the doors, he turned to face Buffy, seeing the nervous way she was wringing her hands together. “She’s going to have questions…I hope you’re ready for them.”

“For the last five years,” she replied quietly.

Spike’s expression darkened slightly, before he nodded, turning to open the door. “Dawn, there’s someone here to…”

Spike trailed off with a smile as he got a good look at his daughter. Wearing her princess dress and obviously drenched in her Tinkerbell perfume, her hair had a crimped look from the braid she’d been wearing all day. Dawn gave him a bright smile as she did a little spin for him.

“You look beautiful, Nibblet,” he said with a smile, dropping a kiss on her forehead, before stepping to the side.

Buffy stepped into the room, feeling her breath catch as she looked at the beautiful little girl. She was undeniably her father’s daughter with her cheekbones and bright blue eyes. “Hi,” Buffy whispered, crouching down to her height as they stared at each other.

Dawn didn’t say anything as she studied the woman who she now knew as her mother. Spike watched them, feeling almost as if he was intruding on a private moment. Trying to divert his attention, he let his eyes wander around the room, but inevitably ended up on the two in the center. Or more accurately, on the woman in the center. He found himself following the line of her dress down her body before tearing his gaze away from the smooth expanse of her thighs.

“You’re my Mommy,” Dawn said quietly, staring at Buffy.

“And you’re my daughter.”

Chapter 5


Spike stood outside, smoking a cigarette, an hour later. Buffy was still inside giving Dawn her bath and getting her ready for bed, at the little girl’s request, and Spike was taking a much needed break. It hadn’t been as dramatic as he expected. Dawn didn’t bother asking any serious questions, except where Buffy had been. After that, the two had settled down on her floor to play and Spike had slipped out to get some work done.

Hearing the phone ring, Spike darted back into the apartment to grab the cordless, before stepping outside again.

“Hello?”

“It’s me.”

Spike closed his eyes when he heard Fred’s voice. “Hello, pet.”

“Did you tell her?”

“Yeah,” Spike said softly. “She took it well.”

“Oh…that’s good,” Fred replied a little too cheerfully. “So what happens now?”

“I don’t know,” he said, hating himself already, for not telling her the entire truth. Why should he hide the fact that Buffy was here right now?

“Okay…well…I’ll talk to you later.”

“Good night, luv,” he said, disconnecting the call.

“Your girlfriend?”

Spike closed his eyes again, this time at the sound of the voice that was so familiar and yet, so strange. “How’d you know?” he asked, leaning over the railing as he inhaled sharply on his cigarette, never allowing his eyes to travel to her.

“I saw her,” Buffy said quietly, causing Spike’s head to snap around to her. “Tonight,” Buffy elaborated. “Willow and I were at the restaurant.”

Spike stayed quiet as he turned away again.

“She’s pretty,” Buffy continued, as she stepped forward to stand next to him, trying to mask the hurt in her voice.

“She is,” Spike agreed with a nod.

“How long have you-“

“Why do you care?” Spike asked, spinning around to face her with an angry glare.

Buffy felt her heartbeat speed up at his close proximity, unconsciously shifting her body closer to his, in spite of his rigid form.

“You’re the one who left, what do you care if I’m dating someone five years later?”

Buffy stayed quiet, avoiding his eyes as she glanced downward.

“Buffy Summers is speechless? This has to be some kind of record,” Spike continued, sarcastically.

“I should go,” Buffy whispered, turning to walk away. “Dawn’s in bed, she says goodnight. She's an amazing little girl, Spike...you should be proud.”

Spike clenched his jaw as he watched her walk away. “Wait.” Buffy stopped, but didn’t turn around. “I shouldn’t have said that…any of it. I was out of line.”

Buffy slowly turned around, facing him with glistening eyes. “No, you weren’t,” she said softly, causing Spike’s heart to ache. “Say whatever you want, Spike…you’ve earned it.”

“Yeah, I’ve earned it,” Spike agreed quietly, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking down. “It’s still fairly early. You could…stay, if you wanted.” Buffy looked at him, slightly shocked. He was asking her to stay for a while?

‘He’s offering an olive branch,’ she thought to herself. ‘Or a smidgeon of one. Take it.’

“Okay,” she said, blinking away the tears in her eyes, following him back inside and into the living room area. She sat on a couch while he sat across from her on a chair, not looking at her, as he focused more on the ground. “She looks a lot like you.”

“She’s got more of your personality, though,” Spike said, looking at Buffy finally. She smiled slightly.

“She’s not a little rebellious?” Buffy asked jokingly, trying to lighten the mood a little.

“Not as of yet,” he replied, managing a small smile. “She loves shopping- that reminds me of you.”

“Most girls like shopping,” Buffy said, faking defensiveness. “So, she’s in kindergarten?” Spike nodded. “She told me Miss McClay is her teacher. Tara became a teacher?”

“She always liked kids,” Spike shrugged. “I think Willow convinced her to try it.”

“Is she a good student?” Buffy asked, relaxing a little at Spike’s more gentle tone.

‘It’s probably because Dawn is asleep a couple of rooms over. He doesn’t want to wake her up by screaming at me. Which I deserve completely, but he’s being civil. Tonight, at least, so go with it,’ she said to herself, coming up with more questions instantly.

“Yeah, she’s doing very well,” he answered, looking down again. “My girlfriend was her preschool teacher last year who worked with Dawn a lot. She’s a very intelligent little girl.”

“That has to be from you,” Buffy said, trying to mask how jealous she was that the woman he was with was able to act like a mother to her daughter, in her absence. The fact he was with her in the first place was bad enough, but this was just the icing on the proverbial cake.

“Yeah, I think it is,” Spike said, looking at her again and smirking. He saw a hint of sadness in Buffy’s eyes and wished he wouldn’t have mentioned Fred to her.

‘She asked about her before,’ he thought. ‘And it’s not like she doesn’t know Fred exists. I’m dating Fred, and she was Dawn’s preschool teacher. That’s valid information to share.’ He paused. ‘Yeah, if you’re trying to hurt her and push her away.’

“Do you still work at the restaurant?” Buffy asked, wanting to avoid the subject of his girlfriend again. Spike nodded. “You’re not bussing tables anymore, right?” He noticed a slight sparkle in her eyes when she said this and felt overwhelmed with memories of the old Buffy, the one that looked at him like he was her world. The one that joked, and cared, and was there.

‘But she left,’ he said to himself, trying to push aside the thoughts that began to form in his head.

“I’m a manager there now,” he answered, folding his hands on his lap as he leaned forward. “Equally as fun.” She smiled and looked down.

‘Keep her smiling. I missed seeing that. Pictures can’t capture how beautiful she is when she smiles.’

“What about you? You said you live in New York,” he said conversationally, trying to be calm.

“I’m a manager at an art gallery in the city,” she said, shrugging. “It’s not too bad. I work with a shop-a-holic who doesn’t ever do her job, but it’s a pretty good deal, I guess.”

“I didn’t know you wanted to have a career in art,” Spike said, slightly surprised at her profession.

“Me either,” she agreed. “I took a class in Florida that made me enjoy it, and I got an offer to move, so I took it, and that’s what I’ve been doing for the last couple of years.”

“Has there…been anyone in your life?” Spike asked quietly and instantly wanted to hit himself.

‘Why the bloody hell did you ask that? Are you trying to depress yourself more?’

“No,” she answered, avoiding his eyes. She couldn’t explain why she had stayed single. The only reason she had was that she loved him too much to move on. When she looked at him, she saw a little bit of happiness in his gaze and smiled a little. “So, who’s the brunette beauty you’re dating?”

“That’s a story for a later date,” Spike said, noticing the time. It was still early, but he didn’t want to get into Fred tonight with her, not when it was somewhat peaceful between them. She nodded and stood up, grabbing her purse.

“I should get going anyway,” Buffy said. “I don’t have my key for Mom and Dad’s, so I should get back before they fall asleep and lock me out.” He stood and walked with her to his door. They stopped at it, and an awkward silence fell upon them. “Well, good night.” She put her hand on the doorknob.

“Would you maybe want to take her to school with me in the morning?” he asked suddenly. She looked at him, surprised. “I mean, you could see Tara again and her classroom.”

“I’d like that,” Buffy said, smiling. “What time would be good for me to come over?”

“How is 7:30?” he asked. She nodded and opened the door, going out into the hallway. “Buffy?” She hesitantly turned around to look at him. “Thanks for coming over tonight.”

‘Thank you for coming home,’ he thought. ‘Because God knows I missed you.’

“You’re welcome,” she said, taking a long look at him, almost committing his face to memory, before turning again and leaving. Spike shut the door and leaned back against it, sighing.

“She’s only visiting,” he whispered. “So don’t let your feelings get in the way. Don’t fall for her again.”

‘Too bloody late.’

Chapter 6


Buffy knocked on Spike’s door the next morning, nervously wiping her hands on her jeans as she waited for him to open it. She was pleasantly surprised when the door opened to reveal a smiling five year old.

“You’re taking me to school,” Dawn cried excitedly as she jumped up and down.

Buffy bent down with a wide smile. “Yep,” she replied. “And I’m just as excited as you are.”

Dawn threw herself into her mother’s arms, clasping her tiny hands around Buffy’s neck as she snuggled closer to her. Buffy felt tears spring to her eyes as she pulled Dawn closer to her. It felt like a piece of her heart had finally fallen into place, making her feel more complete. Ever since she left, school and work had taken such a large toll on her, fulfilling everything she needed, but she always felt hollow. Now, with her little girl cuddled in her arms, everything that she missed came crashing back to her.

Every first that she had ever had in her life, Buffy had missed. All she had was the first hint of a smile to cling to. All she had were memories of being exhausted and unwanted. Memories of Spike’s heartbroken face and disheveled appearance as she walked out of his life.

Spike walked around the corner, straightening his tie when he saw his girls holding on to each other. He paused, feeling his heart ache and swell at the same time. When they pulled away, Spike watched as Buffy wiped her eyes before smiling at their daughter and gently stroking her hair away from her face.

“Are you all ready to go?” Buffy asked.

“Yep, we’re just waiting on Daddy,” Dawn turned around and saw her father. Flying into his arms, Spike swung her into the air, spinning around in a circle before settling her in his arms as Dawn giggled. “You’re silly, Daddy.”

Buffy smiled, feeling a pain in her heart. It occurred to her that she had never heard her daughter call her mommy and it saddened her.

‘Give her a break, Summers,’ she thought. ‘She only just met you last night and you’re expecting her to settle into the picture perfect relationship? Be happy with what she gives you.’

“You ready?” Spike asked, slipping on his coat.

***

Dawn had kept up a steady chatter throughout the car ride and into the school. Buffy had smiled when Dawn had grabbed her hand to drag her into the classroom, wanting to ‘introduce’ Buffy to her teacher, not knowing that they already knew each other.

Spike hovered near the door as Buffy and Tara caught up with each other. He kept a careful eye on the hallway, not wanting to run into his girlfriend, since her class was in the same building. He wanted to avoid introducing Buffy to Fred. It was definitely not something that he was prepared for and, if he played his cards right, he could avoid the entire incident.

Spike waited until Buffy finished her conversation, before subtly ushering her toward the door.

“Bye, Tara,” Buffy said with a smile. “We’ll have to get together this week.”

“Absolutely,” Tara agreed.

“Bye, Nibblet,” Spike called, smiling when she turned to wave at her parents, before turning back to her toys.

Spike and Buffy walked toward the car in silence. Buffy gave him a soft smile when he held the door open for her. “Thanks.”

“No problem, luv.”

Their eyes met and Spike didn’t want to think of the implications of the simple pet name. Buffy slowly looked away, getting into the car as Spike shut the door behind her.

The car ride was made in silence as they pulled in front of the apartment building, parking next to her rented BMW. Turning off the engine, Spike stayed where he was, staring out of the windshield. Buffy watched him with a nervous expression playing on her features.

“Well,” she said softly. “I guess I better-“

“Do you want to come to dinner tonight?” Spike asked, cutting her off.

‘Relax, Buffy. He’s just trying to be nice, this is not a date…he’s got a girlfriend.’

“That would be great.”

“Seven o’clock?”

“I’ll be here.”

***

Spike didn’t know what he was so worried about. Buffy was coming over for a simple dinner of spaghetti and salad and he was acting like he was a freshman in high school, again.

He had spent over a half hour trying to decide what to wear and eventually settled on jeans and a long-sleeved white shirt, deciding not to gel his hair and let the curls come through.

Spike was fighting with himself on every minor decision. Should he set out candles? No, that’s too romantic. Should he play any type of music? Yes, that way there was no pressure to talk, but keep it to the background.

As Spike continued debating over numerous little things, he heard a knock on the door and took a deep breath as he walked over to answer it. He was about to call Dawn and let her know that her mother was here, when he pulled the door open.

“Hey!” Fred greeted with a bright smile.

‘Shit.’

“Surprise!” she said, holding out a pan of lasagna. “I know y’all don’t get out much, so I decided to bring dinner over.”

Spike stood frozen in place as he looked at his girlfriend.

“Fred-“

“Daddy! I need help with my hair!”

Fred giggled as Spike held up a hand. “I’ll be right back.”

As Spike disappeared into Dawn’s bedroom, Fred heard a soft knock on the door. Walking over to answer it, she pulled it open to reveal a vaguely familiar woman.

Buffy froze, her eyes widening when she came face to face with the taller woman. ‘Spike invited me to dinner with him and his girlfriend?’

“Hi, I’m Fred,” she said with a bright smile, holding out her hand.

“Buffy Summers,” she replied, watching as Fred’s smile fell in recognition.

Of course. That’s why she had seemed so familiar. Her senior picture was in a frame in Dawnie’s room and although it was several years old, this was clearly the same girl who her boyfriend had fallen in love with.

Both women seemed to nervously size each other up as Buffy walked into the apartment.

“How long are you staying?” Fred asked, trying to make it appear as if she was making small talk, when she was actually wanting to know when this threat to her relationship would be gone.

“About two weeks,” Buffy replied quietly.

Spike reappeared and stood frozen in the doorway, feeling his heart drop when he heard Buffy’s voice. Then it fell even further when he heard of her plans to leave. ‘Of course she’s going back, you Ponce,’ he thought. ‘She never said she was here to stay.’

Spike walked into the room, making his presence known. The tension was so thick, everyone was on edge as Dawn came running into the room. She seemed to pause when she saw her mother and maternal figure, before settling on giving Buffy a hug. After all, this was a woman who could make her like all of the other little girls who had a mommy and a daddy.

Buffy hugged her daughter as Fred watched jealously, before the roles shifted and Dawn went to hug Fred.

Spike watched both women, feeling a strange pull to reassure Buffy, but he ignored it.

“So Spike,” Fred said with a smile as she walked over to him. “Is Buffy staying to eat?”

“Ummm, yeah,” Spike replied, wrapping an arm around her waist. “I didn’t know you wanted to do anything tonight, so I invited her over to spend some more time with Dawnie.”

“More time?” Fred asked, in surprise.

Spike realized too late that he’d put his foot in his mouth. Buffy could obviously see the jealousy in the other woman and jumped in. “I dropped by last night. Impulsive decision, I guess,” she said with a shrug, trying to keep the indifference in her voice. “I was able to see Dawnie before her bedtime.”

Spike gave Buffy a grateful look as she turned away from him. The pain she was feeling was already close to overwhelming and now she was covering for something that he should have told her.

“Well,” Spike said, turning to Fred. “Let’s heat up that lasagna, pet.”

Fred gave him a brilliant smile as she followed him into the privacy of the kitchen. Buffy tried to push down the uneasy feelings as Dawn brought her a book, asking Buffy if she could read it to her.

“Sure,” Buffy replied, pulling her onto her lap to begin reading.

***

Two hours later, Buffy was going stir-crazy to get out of there. Dawn had gone to bed ten minutes ago, and that was ten minutes too long, to be alone in a room with the man you loved and his current girlfriend.

“I better go,” Buffy said softly.

Spike watched her with a worried expression. She’d hardly said anything to him all night, only making an effort to talk to Dawnie. Spike was feeling guilty about the entire night, but it’s not like he could kick either one of them, out of his home.

A small part of him was relieved when Buffy got up to leave, but the larger part wished she could stay longer, so the two of them could really talk.

“I’ll walk you out,” Spike said quietly as he disentangled himself from his girlfriend. Fred had been very clingy tonight and, although Spike couldn’t blame her, he did feel like he was rubbing it in Buffy’s face.

Walking out of the apartment, Spike pulled the door closed behind him as Buffy turned to face him.

“Well, that was…interesting,” she said with a small smile.

“I’m sorry, Buffy, I didn’t-“

“Don’t apologize,” she said, shaking her head. “There’s no reason to make any excuses to me…you’ve got to make them to her,” she finished, gesturing to the door. “Good night, Spike.”

“Buffy.”

Buffy turned at his softly spoken voice. “Yeah.”

“Did you ever miss anything? Dawn…Sunnydale?”

“Everyday,” she replied in a whisper. “I thought about it all the time…how things would have been different.”

Spike took a deep breath, gathering his courage for the next question. “I know you probably don’t, but…do you regret anything?”

Buffy paused, feeling her stomach tighten as she looked into the eyes of the man she loved. “Losing you,” she whispered.

Both felt their hearts break as Buffy turned to walk into the darkness, leaving Spike to stare at her retreating form, before his whispered words disappeared into the night. “Same here, luv.”

A/N We know a lot of you are worried about Fred getting hurt or sticking around, but trust us! She won’t be around very much longer and we both like Fred, so she won’t be heartbroken. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed!



Chapter 7


Over the next few days, Buffy spent most of her free time with Dawn. Between visiting her parents, Willow, Tara, and Anya and Xander, Buffy never had much of a chance to just sit back and be alone. She loved it.

Before she knew it, she was down to only one week left in Sunnydale. Even though that was a fair amount of time still, her mind began reeling with thoughts of staying or returning back to New York City.

On Monday afternoon, she found herself at the Espresso Pump in town, sitting at a table and drinking a hot chocolate, battling her thoughts.

‘I have to return to New York City. My career is there, and it took a long time for me to find that apartment,’ she thought to herself. ‘But your life shouldn’t be there. Your daughter is here. So is the man you’ve always loved.

‘Maybe I could move her to New York.’ She paused. ‘Wait, what? No. I can’t do that to Spike. Besides, this town is so much better for families.’ She frowned. ‘Yeah, a family- wishful thinking.’

She noticed her fingers tapping against the side of her cup to their own beat and sighed.

‘I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t want to leave Dawn. I missed the first 5 years- I want to be there for the rest. Watch her grow up, teach her, be a mom.’ She found herself smiling. ‘It’s taken you five long years to admit it, Buff, but you want to be mom. And you’re ready now. Will Spike believe me? Would he be willing to have me around? Doubtful. He’ll never forgive me for what I did.’

She finished her hot chocolate and got up, returning the cup to the front counter and going to her rental car, getting in and heading towards Spike’s apartment.

‘I just need him to know I’m ready. Ready to be the woman he fell in love with again.’

***

When Spike had returned home from work, he changed into jeans and a t-shirt while waiting for Buffy to arrive. They were going to pick up Dawn from school, something they had done a couple of times the week before together. He was happy to see Buffy’s eagerness to spend time with Dawn and help them out. He knew Dawn loved it just as much.

“But she’s only here for one more week,” he said quietly to himself, looking at a mirror.

‘And who knows if she’ll ever come back,’ he thought sadly. ‘She’s going to leave, and she may never come back. What happens then?’ He sighed. ‘Surely she wouldn’t do that to Dawn, right? She wouldn’t break her heart like that, would she?’ He frowned and shut his eyes, clenching his jaw. ‘She wouldn’t do that to me again, would she?’

“I can’t let her go a second time,” he said, opening his eyes again and staring at his eyes in the mirror’s reflection. “Don’t you dare let her go this time, mate. She means a lot to you, and you were stupid to let her leave the first time. Don’t repeat your mistake.”

He heard a knock on the door and opened it, revealing a smiling Buffy. He couldn’t help but smile back, his natural reaction to such a beautiful sight.

“Ready to go get our daughter?” she asked cheerfully, but Spike noticed a hint of sadness in her eyes. What is she trying to mask?

“Sure,” he answered, tilting his head slightly. “Everything okay, pet?” She nodded and held her head up, not wanting him to pick up on any of the feelings she was hiding inside. “Let’s go then.”

They took Buffy’s car to the school and got out, leaning against the car, waiting for Dawn to come out to them. Spike noticed that Buffy had been pretty quiet since she came over and felt terror setting in.

‘She’s going to go home to New York, isn’t she? Back to the life she wanted in the first place? The one where she has a good, stable job, a nice apartment, and not a young kid running around?’ he thought sadly, sighing. She looked at him, her eyes conveying worry.

“Is everything all right with you?” she asked. He nodded, waving it off. She frowned and turned her attention back to the set of double-doors on the front of the school when a large group of children ran outside to their parents.

Spike noticed Janice’s mother watching him and Buffy jealously. He smiled to himself, happy that maybe she’d lay off now. Not that she did, knowing he was with Fred, but maybe having Buffy come with him daily would instill it into her mind that he was never going to be with her.

‘Hopefully.’

Dawn was amongst the throngs of children and ran forward to hug Spike first and then Buffy.

“Can we play outside for a while?” Dawn asked, tugging on Buffy’s shirt. Buffy looked at Spike.

“I’m free if you are,” he said. Buffy smiled and looked back at Dawn, who grabbed her hand and pulled her along to the jungle gym. That’s when Spike noticed Fred exiting the school, approaching him. He instantly felt a little uneasy at seeing her. They hadn’t spent a lot of time together alone since the dinner she crashed, and a part of Spike was almost content upon realizing this.

‘If I push her away indiscreetly for a bit, maybe I won’t hurt her in the end.’ He frowned. ‘Assuming Buffy would ever consider moving back here.’

“Hi, Spike,” Fred smiled, kissing him softly. Spike looked at her and suddenly realized that although Fred was a great woman, he never saw himself wanting to spend his life with her.

‘You’re just getting this now, you wanker?’

“Hey, luv,” he said, managing a small smile. She looked over at the jungle gym when she heard laughter from two giggling girls, and Spike saw a slight frown grace her features.

“Dawn seems to like Buffy,” she said, focusing on Buffy pushing Dawn on a swing.

‘I used to do that for Dawn,’ Fred thought with a touch of jealousy. ‘But then again, Buffy is her mother. She should be the one playing with her, not me. Not that I ever mind spending time with Dawn.’ She paused, seeing how happy Buffy and Dawn were. ‘I’ll never be her mother, no matter what happens. That will always be reserved for Buffy.’

“Yeah, they get along really well,” he replied, watching his two girls with a smile on his face.

“Is she still leaving next week?” Fred asked, trying to hide the hopeful tone in her voice.

“As far as I know,” Spike answered, doing his best to mask the sadness in his voice.

Nevertheless, Fred could tell he wasn’t happy about the prospect of Buffy returning to New York.

‘And rightfully so. She left him once- will she do it again?’

A moment of silence passed between the couple while they watched Buffy pick up Dawn in a hug, swinging her around, both of them laughing, before Buffy kissed Dawn’s forehead.

“I should get going,” Fred said suddenly, wanting more than anything to leave before she teared up. Spike looked at her sadly for a moment before she turned and went to her car.

‘I’m already hurting her.’ He sighed quietly. ‘I have to make a decision about this. And soon.’

Buffy carried Dawn over to Spike, both of them grinning from ear-to-ear. He smiled, too, as they went to the car and got in, heading back to his apartment.

‘You have to make a choice, Spike. You’re running out of time, and everything could change in an instant. Get the courage, mate, and figure out which woman is the one you want to spend your life with. The one you want to be a mother to your child,’ he thought before smiling and looking at Buffy in the seat beside him. ‘Not much to think about. I think it’s settled.’

***

That night, Buffy did her routine of giving Dawn a bath before putting her to sleep. Spike came in and kissed Dawn’s forehead before leaving Buffy alone with her to read her a story. Upon the end of it, Buffy pulled up the covers around her daughter and tucked her in before kissing her forehead also, noticing Dawn’s half-lidded eyes and smiling softly.

“Good night, Dawnie,” Buffy whispered, running her hand over Dawn’s soft brunette hair.

“Good night, Mommy,” Dawn said quietly, shutting her eyes and yawning. Buffy fought every urge to let tears fall upon hearing that one word from Dawn.

‘She called me Mommy,’ she thought, giving in and letting a couple of tears roll down her cheeks. She exited the bedroom and wiped off her cheeks, smiling. ‘Has she forgiven me for leaving? For not being here? Will she ever forgive me for that?’

Her thoughts were interrupted when she saw Spike looking at her, seeming concerned.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly. “Your eyes look watery. Is everything all right?”

She just smiled and looked back at him, grabbing her purse and opening the door.

“Goodnight, Spike,” she said, not giving him a chance to say it back as she left the apartment. He watched the door shut and leaned back against a countertop, sighing before smiling, too.

‘Maybe things are going to work out. Finally.’

Chapter 8


Spike stared at the countertop for a moment grabbing his keys and running out the door, toward the parking lot. “Buffy!”

Buffy turned, hearing her name and not bothering to mask her surprise as Spike came running toward her. She quickly wiped the remaining tears from her eyes, sniffling slightly, as he got closer. “Spike, what’s wrong?” she asked in concern as he got closer.

“We need to talk,” he said, slightly out of breath.

“Here? Now?”

“Now and…maybe it would be better to go back inside.”

Buffy nodded, concerned with the tone of his voice as she followed him back to his apartment. Spike shut the door behind them, leaning against it as Buffy stared at him in confusion.

“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly, as he tilted his head to look at her in the way only he could do.

“It’s nothing, Spike,” Buffy replied, shaking her head as she turned away from him.

Spike crossed the room until he was standing next to her, gently turning her so he could look into her eyes. He frowned when he saw the tears that were slowly rebuilding. “Buffy…tell me.”

“It’s really nothing,” Buffy said with a nervous smile. “Dawnie, she just…she called me mommy.”

Spike stared at Buffy for a moment, feeling a pull toward her that he didn’t want to resist, but he knew he had to. “You shouldn’t be surprised, luv,” he said softly. That’s what you are.”

“No, I’m not,” Buffy said, shaking her head as her voice cracked. “I don’t deserve to be called mommy by a little girl who I abandoned.”

“Says who?” Spike asked gently, causing Buffy’s eyes to snap up to his. She expected him to agree wholeheartedly, not try and make her feel better.

“Me,” Buffy said quietly as her tears spilled over. “I left…I did this and…I just messed everything up.”

Spike watched sympathetically as Buffy cried, avoiding his eyes. “What do you mean, you messed everything up?” he asked softly.

Buffy took a deep breath, raising her eyes to his and feeling her heart break all over again. “I thought I was going away to fix everything. I thought it would be better to leave and get my own life, but now…I didn’t even give it a chance,” she whispered. “I didn’t…I thought I had everything to gain with my whole life ahead of me and instead I lost everything that could have meant anything.”

“You haven’t lost Dawnie,” Spike said in a soft voice.

“Maybe not,” she murmured. “But I still missed everything, Spike. I was off studying and working all the way across the country and I missed things that will never happen again. I was just selfish.”

“You were,” Spike agreed. His tone wasn’t accusing, merely agreeable. “But you’re here now…you’re making an effort.”

“Five years later,” Buffy muttered. “Five years too late,” she corrected.

“Too late for what?” he asked, taking a step closer to her.

“Us,” she whispered, avoiding his eyes.

Spike felt as if he’d had the breath knocked out of him. “Buffy…I’m going to ask you a question,” he said softly. “And I want an honest answer.”

“I can do that,” Buffy whispered.

Spike took a deep breath trying to steady his nerves, taking another step toward her. “Why have you never moved on with anyone else?”

Buffy closed her eyes, feeling more tears slip down her cheeks. “I just couldn’t,” she whispered.

“Why?” Spike asked, desperation lacing through his voice as he stood in front of her, needing to hear her answer.

“Because I love you too much.”

“You mean loved,” he corrected, trying to control the hope that was rapidly building in his heart. “Past tense.”

Buffy shook her head, still not looking at him. “I mean what I said. I just couldn’t move on, not when…”

“What?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does,” Spike insisted forcefully.

“No, it doesn’t, Spike,” she replied, louder than she intended. “You have a good life here and you don’t need me coming back and crying on your shoulder when it’s my fault.” You’ve moved on,” she whispered quietly.

“I’ve moved on,” he repeated, almost trying to convince himself of the fact. Was it bad that he hadn’t given Fred a second thought since he’d last seen her?

“She’s a wonderful woman, Spike,” Buffy said softly, trying to disguise the pain that she was feeling. “I’m sure she’s a wonderful mother figure for Dawnie.”

“What?” Spike asked in surprise as Buffy moved around him toward the front door. “What are you saying?”

Buffy paused, her hand outstretched for the doorknob, before she turned around to face him again. “It means…I know you wouldn’t want to risk history repeating itself. You wouldn’t want to put Dawn through that and you wouldn’t want to go through it again, so I’m sure you waited to find the perfect person for you.”

Buffy took a deep breath, hating herself for being who she was; hating Fred for being the woman she wanted to be. Spike looked down at the floor, his mind turning over everything that had happened in the past week.

‘Is that why I’m with Fred? Because she’s safe? Because she’s nothing like Buffy and I know I won’t get hurt again?’

“I’ll see you later,” Buffy said quietly.

The next thing she knew, Buffy was pressed against the door, as Spike’s hands cupped her face, smashing his lips to hers in a desperate kiss. Buffy could feel her heart hammering in her chest as her hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer to her as their tongues dueled together, craving the contact.

Both felt complete for the first time in five years, as Spike’s hands dropped to her waist, pulling himself closer to her as he let them slide around to her back, slipping under her shirt to feel the warm skin beneath.

The kiss slowly decreased from passionate to tender, before they reluctantly broke away for air.

The serene calmness the kiss provided, was shattered with the sound of a telephone ringing. Spike nervously licked his lips as he looked into Buffy’s eyes. “I’ll be right back,” he whispered.

Buffy nodded and watched as he went to pick up the phone, feeling fresh tears come to her eyes at the sound of his voice.

“Hello, Fred.”

Chapter 9


Spike merely greeted Fred on the phone when he noticed tears shimmering in Buffy’s eyes again. She turned away from him and left the apartment quickly.

‘Bloody hell,’ he thought to himself, shutting his eyes and clenching his jaw.

“Hey,” Fred replied happily. “I just thought I’d call to check in on you, see how everything is.”

“It’s fine,” he answered sternly. Fred knew instantly that something was off.

“Are you sure? Because I can come over. We could talk,” she offered, prepared to go over there.

‘Please let him have me over. I need to spend time alone with him. It’s been too long since we’ve had a night by ourselves.’

“No, I think I’m going to head off to sleep soon, luv,” he said, sighing. “But thanks.” Fred’s heart sank, and she was becoming really worried about what was going on with her and Spike. “Fred?”

“Yes?” she asked, not bothering to hide the hopeful tone in her voice.

“Do you think maybe we could meet up sometime tomorrow?” Spike asked. “Alone?” She immediately smiled, happy that he wanted to be alone with her, too.

‘Maybe he’s not blowing me off then. He wants to see me.’

“Sure,” she said. “We could meet up after school. Is Dawn going to be with Buffy?”

‘Who bloody knows at this point,’ he thought, slightly angry that Buffy left. ‘Not permanently…God, I hope not.’

“I think so,” he answered, figuring he could always have Anya and Xander look after her if necessary.

“Then I’ll meet you at the school around three,” she said. “Good night, Spike.”

“Good night, pet,” he replied, hanging up and running a hand through his hair.

‘What am I going to tell her?’

***

Buffy sped to her parents’ house and let herself in, for once happy that they fell asleep so early. She wiped off her eyes, but it was a futile effort. Tears flowed down her cheeks, and she had a feeling they wouldn’t stop until she fell asleep.

‘Life was so much simpler before,’ she thought sadly, sitting down on the couch and staring at the blank TV screen with bleary eyes. ‘I was happy enough, and I didn’t have to face the man I walked out on. Maybe I should have never come back.’ She closed her eyes, hoping to stop crying. ‘He’s going to stay with Fred. Hell, I even made it sound like I was okay with Fred being with him. Her being a good mother figure? I’m sure she is, but I want that. It’s my role, for Pete’s sake.’ She wiped off her cheeks. ‘Yeah, it was your role, before you up and left. You didn’t think he’d ever replace you? Dawn deserves to have two parents. I can’t blame him.’

Her cell phone rang in her purse, and she raised an eyebrow as she fished it out, looking at who the caller was. Spike.

‘Have some courage, Summers,’ she chided herself mentally. ‘And stop walking out on him. That’d be a good lesson to learn, now wouldn’t it?’

“Hello?” she asked, wiping off her eyes one last time in an attempt to compose herself.

“Buffy, we need to talk,” he said sharply. She looked down and sniffled. “Why did you leave?”

“You were on the phone,” she answered, not willing to tell the complete truth.

‘You were talking to her,’ she thought bitterly. ‘I shouldn’t have animosity towards the poor woman. She seems lovely enough. Except the fact that she seems clingy. I hate the clingy ones.’

“We kissed, Buffy,” he said quietly. She shut her eyes, feeling more tears forming. “And you can deny it, as much as you want, but you felt something. Didn’t you?”

“I…maybe,” she mumbled, leaning her head back on the couch. “But it wasn’t right.”

“Why the bloody hell not?” he asked, angry. “You said before that you love me. Was that a lie?”

“No,” she admitted, at least confident enough to reaffirm her feelings about him. “I do love you.”

“Then how is it wrong?” he asked. She sighed and looked at her watch.

“Because you have Fred,” she answered, trying to ignore the jealousy running through her veins. “It’s late, Spike. And I don’t want to talk about this on the phone. Good night.”

“Are you going to take her to school with me?” he asked, sounding hopeful.

“I’ll come with you after school,” she answered. “If that’s all right with you.”

“Yeah,” he said sadly. “I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon then. Good night, luv.”

She disconnected the call and shut off her phone, returning it to her purse and climbing the stairs to go to her childhood room. She didn’t bother to change into pajamas as she laid down and fell asleep, a couple of tears hitting her pillow in the meantime.

***

When Spike heard a knock on his door the next afternoon around 2:45, he felt anxious to talk to Buffy about what had happened the night before.

‘She admitted she still loves you, I realized I was with Fred for the wrong reasons, and we had a mind-blowing kiss.’ He smiled at the thought before it was displaced by uncertainty. ‘What’s going to happen now?’

He opened the door to see Buffy waiting, dressed in simple jeans and a black blouse.

‘She wore something similar to that the first time I ever saw her,’ he thought. ‘Does she remember that?’

“Would you like to come in?” Spike asked, opening the door wider for her to enter.

“Um, no,” she answered. “We should probably get going.” He looked at her sadly and watched as she walked away before hastily grabbing his keys and following her down to her car. They drove in silence, both of them having conflicting thoughts.

‘Has she changed her mind?’ he thought sadly. ‘Is this really going to be over?’

‘He regrets kissing me, doesn’t he?’ she asked herself. ‘I should’ve known. It was all a mistake.’

She pulled up at the school, and they exited the car, leaning against it in their routine way. Neither said a word as minutes passed. Suddenly, both Dawn and Fred walked outside, heading to the silent blondes. Panic gripped Spike’s heart, and Buffy felt sadness flood her.

“Can I just have a moment alone with Fred?” Spike asked quietly, looking at Buffy. She nodded solemnly, proud of herself for not tearing up.

‘I can’t show him I’m weak,’ she thought. ‘I have to be strong.’

“Come on, Dawnie,” Buffy said, willing herself to smile. Dawn grabbed her hand and smiled back at her.

“Okay, Mommy,” she said. Both Spike and Buffy noticed the look of shock and jealousy in Fred’s eyes, but both chose to ignore it just the same. Spike watched Dawn lead Buffy to the jungle gym, and he cleared his throat quietly, looking at Fred.

“Fred, luv, I’m sorry,” he began. “But I don’t think we can be together anymore.”

Chapter 10


Fred stayed quiet for a full minute, letting the news sink in, before
speaking. “You’re breaking up with me?”

“I just think that you deserve better, luv. I’m not right for you.”

“Is it because of Buffy?” she asked, letting her gaze drift over to the play area where Buffy was chasing Dawn.

“Not entirely,” he said softly. “You’re wonderful, Fred, but we just don’t
fit together.”

“Like you and Buffy?” she asked quietly.

“I don’t know if there’s gonna be a ‘me and Buffy,’ he replied.

“Was it me?” she asked quietly. “Could I do something different?”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. You’ve been great with Dawnie and…even
if Buffy leaves-“

“If?”

'She's not leaving now? What have I missed?' she thought to herself.

“Even after Buffy leaves,” Spike rephrased. “There’s things that have been
brought to the surface that would have come up sooner or later.”

“Like what?” Fred asked, the sadness apparent in her voice.

“Like this,” he said gently, gesturing to their interaction. “It was just
inevitable, luv.”

Fred sighed, trying to be the bigger person. “I’ll always be here, Spike. Even if it’s just as a friend, I’ll be here for you.”

“Thank you,” he whispered as Fred took a step forward to leave a soft kiss
on his lips.

“Good-bye, Spike.”

'One thing taken care of, at least one more to go,' he thought, watching Fred walk away.

***

Buffy and Dawn walked toward the car, hand in hand, when Buffy saw the kiss. She felt her heart sink into the pit of her stomach.

‘What did you expect? She’s beautiful and nurturing and…well…here. Of
course he wouldn’t even consider picking things up where you left off. The
kiss obviously didn’t mean as much in hindsight.’

Spike turned to see his girls approaching and let a soft smile play on his
lips. “You ready to go, Nibblet?” he asked, picking Dawn up.

“Yep.”

“Let’s go then.”

Buffy solemnly walked around to get in the car, looking up in time to see
Fred watching them. ‘Probably thinking I’m out to steal her boyfriend.’

Buffy got in the car, fastening her seatbelt and turning to stare out the
window as Spike and Dawn kept up their part of a conversation.

Pulling into the apartment complex, Spike turned off the car, turning to
look at Buffy as Dawn scampered out of her seat.

Buffy didn’t make eye contact or say anything as she stepped out of the car,
smiling when she felt Dawn grab her hand and drag her toward the apartment.

“Do you want to come in?” Spike asked as he opened the door for Dawnie as
she flew into the apartment.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Buffy said softly, still avoiding
him.

'I'm just going to end up getting hurt more, and I think I've had my share of that for the time being.'

“Buffy,” Spike whispered, tilting her eyes to his. “Talk to me, luv.” He
waited for Buffy to say something, finally realizing she wasn’t going to.
“Buffy, the kiss-“

“Never happened,” she replied.

“Excuse me?”

“There’s nothing to talk about…it didn’t happen.”

“What the bloody hell are you talking about?” Spike asked, louder than he
meant to be.

“I’m talking about the fact that you have a girlfriend-“

“Says who?”

Buffy’s eyes snapped up to his in disbelief. “What are you saying?”

“I broke up with Fred today.”

“But you kissed her and-“

Buffy was cut off as his hands threaded through her hair, pulling her close
to him as their lips met in a passionate kiss. Buffy clung to his strong
arms, trying to remain standing as his tongue delved into her mouth.

After a moment, a tiny giggle erupted from inside the apartment. Both broke
away smiling as Buffy turned her head, hiding her face against Spike’s
chest.

“Why don’t you go play with your toys, Nibblet?”

“Is Mommy going with all of us to the carnival?”

Buffy looked at Spike in confusion.

“Sunnydale Day carnival,” Spike explained. “We go every year, and then
Dawnie gets to spend the night with your parents.”

Buffy turned to her daughter. “And you want me to go?” she asked.

Dawn nodded excitedly as Buffy looked back at Spike. “And you want me to
go?” Spike mimicked their daughter, causing his girls to giggle. “Count me
in.”

Chapter 11


Saturday night, Buffy drove over to Spike’s apartment, filled with mixed emotions. She was excited to be able to spend the night with her daughter and the man she loved, but she was down to only two days left. As she pulled up to his building, she sighed and rested her forehead against the steering wheel of her car.

‘I don’t want to leave. Why hasn’t he asked me to stay? I’d give it all up in New York if he’d just ask.’

She pulled herself together emotionally and went inside the apartment complex, going up to his floor and knocking on the door. A perky Dawn opened it, dressed in overalls and her hair in pigtails.

‘She’s such an adorable little girl, I used to look a lot like her when I was little. And I’ve always loved the carnival…some years more than others,’ she thought to herself with a smile.

“Hi, Mommy,” Dawn said, hugging Buffy’s legs, who in turn picked her up in a hug of her own.

“Hi, sweetie,” Buffy said. “Where’s your father?” As if on cue, Spike appeared from his bedroom, looking as gorgeous as ever.

“Hey,” Buffy said with a smile.

Spike returned the smile and grabbed his keys before walking over to them.

“Hey,” he said. “You look nice.” He looked at her jeans and simple red halter-top and thought she had never looked more beautiful.

‘She looks like she did that night. Six long years since then- it doesn’t even seem that long anymore, not since she came back. To visit, that is.’

“Ready to go?” Buffy asked, interrupting his thoughts. He nodded and followed his two favorite girls outside to her rental car. He drove towards the carnival, his mind still buzzing.

‘She leaves on Monday. You can’t let her go,’ he thought sadly. ‘Why won’t she stay?’

After parking the car in a tight space in a crowded parking lot near the festival itself, Spike put Dawn on his back, giving her a piggyback ride. Buffy smiled, wishing she had a camera with her.

‘He makes such a wonderful father. I always knew he would.’

The flashing lights, smells, and shrieks and yells assaulted them as they made their way into the center of the carnival. Rides, games, and food venders littered the area, people everywhere.

‘As long as Spike is carrying Dawn, we won’t have to worry about losing her.’

“Daddy, can we play some games?” Dawn asked suddenly, looking at one that offered goldfish as the first place prize. Spike and Buffy exchanged glances before taking her to the game.

‘Let’s see how good my daughter can throw,’ Buffy thought, giggling at Spike’s worried face. ‘I hope he gains a goldfish out of this. Dawn should have a pet.’

***

Minutes later, the three walked away holding a goldfish in a clear plastic bag. Dawn looked so excited to have won, even though Buffy helped her.

‘She purposely helped so Dawn would win that fish,’ Spike thought, looking at Dawn’s wide smile. ‘And even though I hate fish, I’m happy Buffy did what she did. She’s becoming more and more like a mother every time she’s with Dawn.’ He smiled. ‘She’s changed.’

While they were walking around, buying Dawn cotton candy and playing several more games, she suddenly stopped, staring at the Ferris Wheel that loomed over the crowd. Spike stared up at it, frowning.

“Can we go on it?” Dawn asked, tugging on his hand. He looked at her sheepishly.

“How about we go on it together?” Buffy asked, crouching down to her level as she tugged on Dawn’s pigtail. “We’ll give Daddy some time to relax.” Spike looked at her graciously and watched as the two girls got in line to board it.

‘She’s saved me from the terror of riding that rusty contraption.’ He paused. ‘Wait, I don’t want my daughter on that!’ He was moving quickly through the crowd but didn’t make it in time to stop them from getting on a cart. He watched them, his heart racing and praying inwardly that it would be okay.

He noticed how happy Buffy seemed, and at one point, he even heard Dawn’s laughter, causing him to smile broadly.

‘She’s amazing with Dawn. How could she leave again? Not just me, but our daughter. Doesn’t she like it here? She seems so content in Sunnydale. I doubt that she’s as happy in New York as she is here.’

The ride ended a few minutes later, and they came over to him, his daughter giggling and Buffy beaming.

“It seems that she likes heights,” Buffy said, leaning towards his ear. “That’s definitely from me.”

“Yes, be happy that our daughter likes danger,” Spike joked, keeping his tone serious. She smiled up at him, and for a moment, they got lost in each other’s eyes.

‘Snap out of it, Buffy.’

“Hello, you three,” a chipper voice suddenly said close by. Spike and Buffy turned to see Buffy’s mother and father standing there. Dawn ran over and hugged her grandmother, who picked her up.

“Hello, darling. Ready to go have fun with me and Grandpa?” Dawn nodded. “You can pick her up any time tomorrow.” Spike and Buffy kissed Dawn’s forehead and said good-bye to her.

“Be good for them,” Spike said. “Don’t cause any trouble. Not like last year.” Buffy looked at him questioningly. “She was a little too hyper and began drawing all over her bedroom walls.” Buffy laughed and looked at her mother, who was smiling also.

“She’s very artistic,” Joyce said. “I’d say she’s a budding artist. Just like her mother.” Buffy smiled at her mother, grateful that her parents would watch Dawn for the night, giving Buffy and Spike a chance to talk alone for a while and knowing that Joyce was picking up her granddaughter early, for that very reason. “Good night, kids.”

“Good night,” Buffy and Spike replied in unison, watching the two adults walk away with their daughter. A moment of silence passed between them before Spike looked at the Ferris Wheel again.

‘I’m going to do this the right way this time.’

“Come on,” he grinned, grabbing her hand like an excited child and pulling her to the ride.

“Wait, what? You hate the Ferris Wheel,” Buffy pointed out, confused. He
smiled at her.

“That was the old me,” he said. “I’ve changed.”

'We both have.’

Buffy laughed as she tried to keep up with Spike, giggling harder when they
made their way through the line as Spike’s face slowly became more petrified
of what he was about to do.

“You don’t have to do this,” Buffy said with a smile. “You don’t have
anything to prove to me. You’ve already been on this ride once and that was
enough.”

Spike’s mind flashed to the night of their first date, leading to their
first kiss on this very ride. Smiling at the memory, his fingers interlaced
with hers. “All the more reason to try it again, luv,” he said softly.

Buffy smiled as they got situated in one of the seats, her smile only
broadening as his arm slipped around her shoulders, pulling her closer as the
ride began.

Both stayed quiet for several minutes. Buffy could feel Spike tense up as
they halted at the top. “You’re doing good,” she said softly, looking at
him with a gentle smile.

Spike looked at her, struck with the realization that she looked just like
she did six years ago when they were in this very same position. “I may
need to forget where we are,” he whispered, a smile playing on his lips as
he slowly tilted his head to the side, leaning close to her.

“Really?” Buffy asked playfully, her own head angling to his. “And how do
we make you forget?”

Spike was so close, she could feel his breath against her skin as his lips
gently touched hers in the lightest caress. “I think the way we did it last
time worked fine.”

“You’re sure about that?”

Spike smiled as his lips pressed to Buffy’s, her hands wrapping around his
neck, pulling him even closer to her as his arm wrapped around her waist.
Neither wanting any space between them as the kiss deepened. The kiss
continued until the ride started again, jolting them as they began to
descend. Slowly pulling away, Spike leaned in for one more tender kiss
before taking her hand again.

“Thanks for the help, pet.”

Spike and Buffy walked hand in hand along the beach an hour later, enjoying
the comfort the other provided. The sounds of the carnival faded as the
ocean’s surf crashed next to them. Spike stopped, tugging on Buffy’s hand
to turn her to face him before gently trailing a hand down her cheek.

Buffy leaned into his touch, relishing the feel of his skin on hers as a
smile graced her features.

“I’ve missed you so much, luv,” he whispered, watching the path of his hand
as it ghosted down her neck and over her shoulder.

“I missed you, too, Spike,” Buffy replied softly, tears springing to her
eyes. “And I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” he whispered, his eyes softening as he leaned toward her,
letting his lips barely brush against hers. “Right now,” he murmured
against her lips. “Everything is the way it should be.”

Buffy’s eyes fluttered shut as their lips met in a tender kiss. Spike’s
arms encircled her body, pulling her closer, letting their tongues brush
together before a loud boom filled the air. They slowly broke away, looking
into the formerly darkened sky that was now shimmering with fireworks.
Buffy’s eyes filled with tears as she remembered the last time she saw them
before she turned to Spike with a smile on her face.

“Make love to me, Spike,” she whispered, her voice taking on the seductive
quality that Spike could never resist.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his voice filled with disbelief.

Buffy looked up at the sky, seeing the fireworks exploding before turning
back to him. The faint glow of colors played out on his face, making his
eyes glow as he looked at her.

“Please,” she said softly.

That was all the invitation Spike needed as Buffy took his hand, pulling him
down into the soft sand. His lips met hers in a heated kiss as his hands
wandered her body. Curves that he never thought he would feel again. The
warmth of her skin under his fingertips, the silky feel of her hair, the way
her body responded to his as he slowly stripped off her clothes, pulling
back to look at her. His hand slowly trailed over her body, running upward
over her toned stomach to gently palm her breast, smiling when Buffy moaned
at the feel of him touching her.

Buffy slowly opened her eyes, looking up at him with a soft smile as she
slowly sat up, helping him take off his clothes.

Spike smiled as her eyes lit up when he removed his shirt. Buffy pushed
herself up on her knees, pressing her chest to his as their lips met in a
passionate kiss. Spike’s arms wrapped around her waist, thrilled at the
feel of her naked body pressed against his as he lowered her onto the sand.

Slipping off his jeans, both spent a moment listening to the sound of the
fireworks as they tenderly kissed and touched each other, neither wanting to
rush what was happening between them.

Pulling back to catch his breath, he looked into her lust-filled eyes and
pulled her body closer to his. "You're still the most beautiful woman I’ve
ever seen, luv,” he whispered as he lowered his head to nibble on her neck.

Buffy felt her heart slamming in her chest as he moved, letting her hips
cradle his body as he looked down at her in silent permission. She didn’t
say anything as she pulled him down for a long kiss, gasping into his mouth
as he filled her, pushing all the way in and stalling his movements.

‘She’s still so perfect,’ Spike thought, lifting his head to try and catch
his breath. Buffy and Spike stared at each other, both living the feeling
of completion and awe that seemed to spread through them.

After a few moments, Buffy lifted her hips against his, smiling slightly
when Spike’s eyes rolled back.

“Please, Spike,” she whispered, moaning as he began thrusting into her,
their breathing becoming more rapid as Buffy clung to his shoulders.

Spike plunged into her, chasing each bad memory away with every thrust,
replacing them with memories of how the woman he loved felt as she moved
beneath him.

“Oh God, Spike!” Buffy cried as her nails dragged across his skin, her
muscles clamping down around him as her body hummed in climax. Spike held
onto her as he pumped a few more times before spilling himself deep within
her.

Both lay still for a moment, elated that they were finally connected the way
they had dreamed for five years but also wishing that the inevitable
wouldn’t come and they’d have to separate.

“I’ve dreamed of that for so long,” Spike said in a husky whisper as his
lips ran over her shoulder.

“Me too,” Buffy agreed breathlessly, her hands lightly running through his
hair as her eyes closed in contentment. “I guess we should go.”

“Yeah,” Spike said softly, running his fingers through her hair. “But I
don’t want to.”

“Me neither,” Buffy replied, snuggling closer to him as her eyes opened.
With a sigh, she slowly sat up and pulled on her clothes before turning to
Spike with a hint of a smile. “Carry me,” she requested in a teasing voice.

Buffy squealed when Spike scooped her up in his arms and ran down the
beach. She never expected him to actually listen to her, but she wasn’t
about to complain as her arms wrapped around his neck.

Spike slowed down to a walk as the last of the fireworks exploded in the
sky, gently pressing his forehead to Buffy’s. “I think this is my favorite
day of the year,” he said with a smile.

“Mine too,” Buffy agreed with a smile.

***

Later that night, Buffy lay cradled in Spike’s embrace as she let her hand
play over his chest. He seemed more tense since their last round of
lovemaking, and Buffy was doing everything she could to try and relax him.
Just before she was about to ask him what was wrong, the sound of his voice
filled the room.

“When are you leaving?” Spike asked softly. ‘Say you’re going to stay.
Tell me you can’t leave Dawnie again. That you can’t leave me.’

“Day after tomorrow,” she murmured against his skin. ‘Ask me to stay. Ask
me not to go back there. I can’t live there without you.’

But he didn’t.

The next morning, Spike woke up, still cradling Buffy to his body. He slowly ran his hand over her hair before placing a soft kiss on her temple. Her eyes slowly opened, focusing on his. “Good morning.”

“Hey,” she said quietly, smiling. “I bet I look atrocious.” Spike chuckled and shook his head.

‘But of course he looks stunning. How come he always looks perfect in the mornings? It’s not fair.’

“It’s already 10:30,” he said, looking at the clock on his bedside table. She sighed.

‘Only one day left now. Only 24 hours for one of us to admit how we feel.’

“We should probably go get Dawn,” she said, sitting up and looking at her clothes strewn around the room. Trying her best not to be self-conscious, she got out of bed and began to get dressed.

‘Was last night a mistake to her?’ he thought sadly, watching her. ‘She wants to leave, doesn’t she?’

He frowned and began to pull on clothes, willing himself not to tear up at the thought of losing her again. She finished and looked at him, catching a hint of sadness in his features.

‘Was last night a mistake to him?’ she thought. ‘A one-shot deal? Good-bye sex?’

He looked back at her, and they locked eyes for a moment, both too scared to say anything.

He was the first to move, heading towards the kitchen and grabbing his keys. Buffy followed him solemnly, thinking that this could possibly be one of the last times she’d ever be in his apartment. He opened the door for her, and they left, going out to her car and heading towards Revello Drive.

The ride was made in silence, each of them battling with their thoughts. When they pulled up at her parents’ house, he felt the urge to say something, but Buffy got out of the car instantly, not giving him the chance.

‘Bloody brilliant.’

He followed her up the walk to her front door before she let them both in. Dawn and her mother were in the living room, watching cartoons. Dawn jumped up and came running towards her parents. It was Buffy who picked her up, holding her close.

‘I can’t let today be the last time I see her. I love this little girl, and nothing’s going to keep me away anymore.’

Joyce came over to them, noticing how emotionally off both Buffy and Spike seemed. The happiness that she had seen in them over the last two weeks was now somewhat absent, blank faces in their place.

“Did you two have a nice night?” Joyce asked casually, looking between the two. They looked at each other for a moment before averting their eyes.

‘Something definitely happened,’ Joyce thought, curious to find out the details. ‘Well, maybe not anything too graphic.’

“Have you been good for your grandmother?” Spike asked, looking at Dawn, still in Buffy’s arms.

“I’ve been an angel, right, Grandma?” Dawn asked, looking at Joyce.

“She was very well-behaved,” Joyce nodded. “She drew around the room again, but she was just finishing up what she started last year.” Joyce winked at Dawn, who giggled in return.

“Good job,” Buffy smiled, kissing her daughter’s cheek. “Ready to go home?” Spike looked at Buffy sadly, wishing that she’d call it home someday soon and mean it.

“Yeah,” Dawn answered. Buffy smiled at her mom and carried her daughter outside and to the car.

“Thanks again, Joyce,” Spike said, heading to the door, but she put her hand on his arm to stop him. He turned back, looking at her, worried.

“I don’t know what happened between you two, but don’t let her leave again,” Joyce advised quietly.

“I can’t keep her here,” he said, looking at the two girls getting into her BMW. “I wish I could.”

***

Buffy had taken Dawn and Spike back to his apartment before returning to her childhood home to begin packing up. Joyce came into her room and sat on the bed, watching Buffy move around, putting her clothes into her luggage.

“Going to spend some time tonight with Dawn?” Joyce asked conversationally. Buffy simply nodded. “Does she understand that you’re leaving tomorrow morning?” She noticed Buffy stiffen a little before she began stuffing her bag with her belongings she had brought. “Is she okay with it?”

“Don’t do this, Mom,” Buffy said sadly, holding back tears that began to form in her eyes.

“I just want you to have another perspective on how you leaving again will affect things,” Joyce pointed out, standing again and going to the doorway. “If not for him, stay for her.” Buffy and her mother exchanged a look before Joyce left.

‘I’d stay if he asked, but he’s not asking, and I’m not putting myself out there to be rejected.’

Her eyes flickered over to a picture of her and Spike from when they were teenagers on her dresser.

“You should never have left,” she said quietly to herself, looking at the girl in the picture she used to be. “It wouldn’t be nearly as hard if you would’ve stayed.”

‘You’d be happy.’

***

While Dawn took a nap that afternoon, Spike went outside to smoke and try to suss out his thoughts.

‘Why won’t she stay? What the hell does it take? Marriage? Because if that’s what it is, I’ll do it. In a heartbeat,’ he thought, exhaling a swirl of smoke. ‘Dawn would have a mother, and I’d have a wife. The way things should’ve been.

‘And what about this morning? Was last night nothing to her? Did we just get caught up in our feelings and wanting each other so much that we didn’t think about what we were doing?’

“That’s a ‘no’ on my end,” he said, looking up at the cloudy sky, putting out his cigarette.

'Maybe we can figure it out tonight. There's not enough time left to let it go. I can't let her go.'

Buffy nervously knocked on Spike’s door later that night, offering a soft smile when he answered. “Hi,” she said quietly.

“Hello, pet,” Spike murmured, opening the door for her. Buffy walked in, feeling the awkwardness settle over her as she protectively crossed her arms over her chest.

“Where’s Dawnie?” she asked, looking around the apartment.

“Janice’s.”

Buffy’s eyes snapped up to Spike’s as he slowly walked toward her as he took her hand in his. “Stay,” he whispered. Buffy’s heart swelled as her eyes widened, looking up at him. “Stay the night,” he continued. Buffy felt herself crash back down to earth.

‘You didn’t really think he was asking you to stay, did you?’ she thought to herself.

“And that’s all?” Buffy asked, almost sadly.

Spike slowly pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her hair as her arms wrapped around him. “I just want to hold you tonight.”

‘I’ll make her realize she can’t leave,’ Spike thought. ‘I’ll make her want to stay…show her how much love is here.’

Buffy nodded, her eyes filling with tears from the different emotions coursing through her. “I’d like that,” she murmured.

***

Spike woke up the next morning, searching for the warm body next to him. His eyes snapped open when he felt the cool satin fabric of the sheets beneath his fingertips.

Sitting straight up in bed, Spike’s eyes narrowed on the note that was left on the pillow. With a trembling hand, he picked it up, terrified at what it could hold.

Dear Spike,
I didn’t want to wake you, but I had to get back and finish packing. Please bring Dawnie by, before I leave. I need to say good-bye to her…to both of you. Last night was amazing, Spike. Thank you for giving me something so perfect, I’ll treasure it forever. I’ll miss you both so much, words cannot express. Please don’t be angry for me leaving you with a note again, I do want to say good-bye in person.
Love Always,
Buffy

Spike closed his eyes as his heart felt like it was being squeezed in a vice. She was really leaving and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to stop her.

***

Two hours later, Buffy tearfully hugged her parents good-bye. She had already been to visit all of her friends so everyone wouldn’t be crowded in their house, causing an even more emotional scene.

Spike was currently outside, smoking his fifth cigarette of the hour. He had been avoiding Buffy since he and Dawn had arrived and Buffy had a feeling that he didn’t like waking up alone.

Buffy took a deep breath, before bending down to hug her daughter. Tears were already spilling down both their cheeks as they held each other.

“Why are you going, Mommy?” Dawn asked in a soft voice.

Buffy looked up, meeting Spike’s eyes as he walked through the front door. “I have to go, baby,” she whispered, looking into Spike’s eyes as she spoke to Dawn.

“When are you coming back?”

Buffy turned her gaze back to her daughter. “I’ll be here for Thanksgiving, okay?”

Dawn nodded sadly as Buffy gave her a watery smile, tilting her chin. “Hey,” she said gently. “I’ll just be a phone call away.”

Buffy’s eyes, again, rose to Spike, feeling her heart beat faster as he stared at her with intensity. “Can I get another hug?” Buffy asked as Dawn practically threw herself in her mother’s arms.

After the shortest moment of her life, Buffy realized it was time for her to leave.

“You’re sure you don’t want us to go with you to the airport?” Joyce asked, picking up Dawn as Buffy moved toward the door.

“And go through this again?” Buffy asked with a sad smile. “I don’t think I could handle that.”

Saying good-bye to everyone, once again, Buffy finally turned to Spike. “Can we go outside?”

Spike nodded, as Buffy gave a final wave to everyone in the room. Pulling the door closed
behind them, Spike turned to Buffy, waiting for her to say something.

“Look, Spike, I don’t know how you felt last night, but-“

“Terrified,” he murmured, looking down at the ground.

“Of what?” she asked, tilting her head to study him.

“Last night was...God, I’m such a jerk. I can’t do this,” he said, raising his eyes to the sky as he held back tears.

“Spike.”

“It was the best night of my life,” he whispered. “I don’t know what it meant to you-“

“Yes, you do,” Buffy replied, making eye contact with him.

Spike sighed shaking his head. “Yeah…I hear you say it, but…it just doesn’t feel like it was real. Last night, all I did was…hold you, watch you sleep. And it was the best night of my life. So, yeah…I’m…terrified.”

“You don’t have to be,” she murmured.

Spike tilted his head, studying her. “So what’s that mean?”

“I don’t know…does it have to mean anything?” she asked with hope in her voice.

“No,” Spike said, taking a step back and shaking his head. “Not right now.”

Buffy felt her heart sink again, as she nodded. “I better go,” she whispered.

Spike reached out, pulling her to him for a long hug, both letting tears slip free as they held onto each other. Buffy pulled away first, looking up into his eyes and offering a slight smile.

Spike let his lips brush over hers in a tender kiss. “I’ll miss you,” he whispered.

“I’ll miss everything,” Buffy replied.

***

Joyce walked outside, seeing Spike sitting on the front step, smoking a cigarette. “So she left?”

“She didn’t want to stay,” he muttered.

“Did you ask her that?”

“I didn’t have to.”

Joyce sighed, shaking her head as she sat down next to a man she always hoped would be her son-in-law. “Spike, let me tell you something that I’ve noticed about your relationship with my daughter. “You’re both stubborn, willful, and pigheaded.”

Spike smiled slightly as he nodded. “You’re right about that.”

“And you have no idea how to communicate with each other,” she finished as Spike’s eyes raised to hers.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying you love my daughter and she loves you. You have a child together, Spike. She wants to stay, she just needs a reason.”

“I’ve given her a reason,” Spike cried, standing up and pacing around the yard before gesturing to the house. “Her reason is inside that house, crying her bloody eyes out because her mother’s gone…again!”

“And why is she gone?”

“Because she didn’t want to stay!” Spike yelled.

“And why didn’t she want to stay?”

“Because I didn’t…”

Spike trailed off as his eyes widened. “I didn’t ask her,” he murmured, feeling short of breath. “She thinks I want her to leave.”

“You can’t let her make the same mistakes, Spike.”

Without another word, Spike turned around and ran for his car.

Joyce smiled after him. “You belong together.”

Spike sped to the airport, swearing at every car that was getting in his way and everyone that wasn’t going at least ten over the speed limit. Every second counted- there wasn’t a moment to spare.

‘She better not get on that bloody plane. Not after I’ve done all of this to get to her.’

When he finally got to Los Angeles, he was grateful that he wasn’t pulled over by a cop.

‘I’d make her pay the damn ticket if I had been.’

He sprinted inside the building, only to stop in front of an electronic board that listed the boarding times for outgoing flights.

‘New York…New York City…twenty minutes…you’ve got twenty minutes to track her down and make her stay.’

With that, he took a deep breath and went running towards the terminal she’d be taking off from. He got as close as the security check when he was stopped.

“I can’t let you pass, sir, without a ticket,” a burly brute of a man said, stopping Spike from going through the metal detectors.

“I’m not carrying a weapon,” Spike said. “Check me. Strip search me, for all I care. I need to stop the woman I love and the mother of my child from getting on a plane and leaving me…quite possibly forever. I’ll even pay you. Just please, let me go and stop her from making the second biggest mistake of her entire life.”

“Yeah? And what was the first biggest mistake?” the guard asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Falling in love with me,” Spike grinned. “Never have been able to let the people I love go.”

‘Well, except that once, and that was because I was incredibly naïve to think she’d be back sooner. But I never truly let go of her, and I’m sure as hell not starting now.’

“If I don’t see you back here in ten minutes, I’m coming after you myself,” the guard warned, slightly winking at Spike, who in turn breathed a sigh of relief and went through the metal detector before breaking out sprinting again, trying to locate her terminal.

‘Forty…thirty-nine…thirty-eight…and there it is.’

He slowed down and checked his watch. Only fifteen minutes left. He worked on regulating his breathing again before slowly approaching the waiting area, seeing her reading a magazine, her back to him. He slowly walked up behind her and shoved his hands in his pockets, suddenly intensely nervous.

“You didn’t think I’d let you get away this time, did you?” he suddenly asked. He saw her sit up straighter before slowly turning around, looking at him with a shocked look on her face.

“What’re you…Spike?” she asked, standing up, doing her best not to tear up.

‘He came. He came here for me. And if he doesn’t ask me to stay, I…I’ll…who am I kidding? I couldn’t hurt him again. Although, this is a pretty mean joke if he just showed up to say goodbye again.’

He walked around the line of chairs and stopped directly in front of her, their eyes locking.

“I can’t let you get on that plane,” he said quietly, wrapping his arms around her. “Stay, luv. Please don’t leave again. Dawn needs you here…and so do I. I love you, and I can’t lose you again.”

‘He’s asking me to stay. He finally is asking me to stay. He truly doesn’t want me to leave him.’

“But I’ve got my job, and my apartment,” she said, looking down. “I have to go back.” He frowned instantly, about to protest her lame argument, when she spoke again. “I’d have to return to sell my place and quit my job.” She smiled as his eyes widened and he kissed her intensely, pulling her close to his body, pleading with himself to not cry.

“You…you’ll stay? I mean, you’ll go back to New York, but you’ll come back? You’ll…be with me?” he asked hesitantly, now fearing the idea that she would only stay to be a mother to Dawn.

“No, I think I’m going to hook-up with the other British hottie I know,” she joked, giggling as she heard him growl. “Yes, I’ll be with you again. If you’ll have me, that is.”

“Of course, I’ll have you,” he smiled, running his hand over her hair. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you, Buffy Anne Summers.” She kissed him softly, and the intercom went off, announcing that her flight was boarding. “What? We still have ten minutes.”

“Apparently, the earlier people get on the plane, the easier it is,” she shrugged, picking up her carry-on bag and sighing. “I’ll be back soon, Spike. I promise. It should be a week, tops. I swear.”

“If you’re not here in eight days, I’m hunting you down myself,” he said, managing a smile.

“I’ll be here,” she said, looking up at him. “Take care of yourself and her in the meantime.”

“The same goes for you, pet,” he said. “I want our daughter to finally have her mother here permanently.”

“She will,” Buffy smiled, wrapping her arms around Spike’s neck and kissing him as passionately as she could without crying.

‘He wants me here. I’m coming back to live here. I’m going to be with him and my daughter.’

“I love you,” Spike said, looking into Buffy’s eyes, resting his forehead against hers.

“I love you, too,” she said. “I have to board now.” He nodded sadly and saw his friend the security guard heading towards him, looking stern.

“And I have to run,” Spike smirked. “One week, luv. I’ll see you in a week.”

“A week it is,” she said, kissing him one last time before going to the terminal. She turned back and waved at him before going forward to the plane. The guard reached Spike and looked at him.

“You didn’t succeed?” he asked sadly. Spike looked at him and beamed.

“She’s coming back in a week,” he answered. “To be with me.” The guard simply smiled back and patted Spike’s shoulder before escorting him away from the terminals.

‘Now I just have to make sure she’s here forever.'

Spike stared at the moonlight shimmering along the ocean surface. It had
been a week. Seven excruciatingly long days and she wasn’t here. Buffy had
talked to Joyce once to let her know that she had arrived safely, but when
Spike tried to call her, it said her phone was disconnected.

Now, he was sitting at ‘their’ spot on the beach, watching the waves crash
against the shore and rethinking their last conversation at the airport. He
was serious about tracking her down. He wouldn’t let her escape as easily
as he did last time, but he was scared to death that she was having second
thoughts and had run again.

“You thought I wouldn’t come back.”

Spike’s head snapped around as he heard the sweet sound of her voice
drifting toward him. Buffy stood a few feet away in a pale yellow sundress.
Her hair loose around her shoulders, and for the briefest of seconds, Spike
thought he was still in high school, looking at the girl he’d had fallen in
love with on his first day of ninth grade.

Climbing to his feet, Spike stared at Buffy for a long moment as she took a
hesitant step toward him.

“Did you not want me to come back?” she asked, suddenly feeling very
insecure.

Spike didn’t answer as he closed the distance between them, crushing his
lips to hers in a desperate kiss, letting their tongues battle as his arms
wrapped around her waist. Buffy’s hands ran through his hair, needing to
feel him as close as possible as she pushed her body against his.

Both broke away breathlessly after a moment, staring deep into each other’s
eyes. “You’re here,” Spike whispered, trailing his hand along her cheek.

“I’m here,” she reaffirmed with a soft smile. “I’m here for good.”

Spike smiled, tilting his head as he studied her, wanting to remember every
detail of the way she looked in this moment. “Did you stop by the
apartment?”

Buffy nodded. “I saw Dawnie,” she said with a smile. “Mom told me that you
needed a night to yourself…I figured you were here.”

“I was worried,” he murmured, his hands never leaving her skin, as if he was
afraid she was going to disappear.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call,” she said quietly. “I just wanted to get
everything done so fast…I’ve barely slept this week.”

“You’re here now,” he said with a smile. “That’s all that matters.”

Buffy wrapped her arms around him, snuggling into his chest as he pulled her
closer to him, inhaling the scent of vanilla in her hair.

“This was the longest bloody week of my life,” he whispered, kissing the top
of her head.

“Mine too,” she said, her voice muffled against his shirt.

“I got you something,” he said with a smile as she pulled back to look at
him.

“I like presents,” she said with a smile. “What’d you get me?”

Spike gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his other hand reaching
into his pocket and extracting the small velvet box. Buffy’s eyes widened
as Spike got down on one knee, opening the box to showcase a beautiful
diamond ring, glistening in the silver moonlight.

“I love you, Buffy,” he said with a smile. “I’ve never loved anyone
else…I’ve never wanted anyone else. I only want you. Will you marry me?”

Buffy tried to fight to breathe as he waited expectantly before a blinding
smile spread across her face. “Of course!”

Spike jumped up, wrapping his arms around her waist to lift her into the
air, spinning them around until they were both dizzy and collapsed on the
soft sand. Spike looked down at Buffy, her skin glowing as she smiled back
at him. “I love you so much,” he whispered, his lips meeting hers in a
tender kiss before pulling back to look at her.

“I love you, too,” she said, tears of happiness streaming down her face.

Spike sat up, pulling Buffy with him before slipping the ring out of the
box and shakily putting it on her finger. Buffy looked at it with a smile
before wrapping her arms around Spike’s neck, pulling him to her for another
hug.

“This is definitely not what I expected.”

“Well, there’s one more unexpected surprise, luv,” he whispered softly,
standing up and pulling her to her feet.

“Spike, what are you talking about?”

“Come on,” he said, refusing to answer her question as he took her hand and
pulled her along the beach.

“You’re not going to tell me?”

“No.”

***

Spike pulled into the parking lot of a vacant building, turning off the car
and looking over at his very confused fiancée.

“I don’t think they’re open,” she said with a smile as she looked at Spike.

“Not yet,” Spike replied, getting out of the car as Buffy did the same.

Buffy seemed skeptical as he interlaced their fingers, dragging her toward
the building as he pulled a key out of his pocket. “Spike, what are you
doing?”

Spike didn’t answer as he let go of her hand, unlocking the door and holding
it open for her.

“Something about this seems kind of illegal.”

“Nothing illegal, luv. I promise.”

“So breaking and entering isn’t a crime anymore?” she asked as she walked
into the darkened building.

“Not when you have a key,” Spike replied, flipping a few switches in the
wall, illuminating the room in a soft glow. “And you own the building.”

Buffy’s mouth dropped open as she turned in a circle, looking around the
building before turning to face Spike. “What is this?”

“Let’s call it an engagement present,” he said with a smile.

“For me?” she asked in disbelief as Spike took a step forward, wrapping his
arms around her waist and pulling her to him for a soft kiss.

“For your brand new art gallery.”

Buffy’s eyes widened in shock as she looked at him. “What?”

“You heard me,” he said with a smile. “Why should you have to give up your
dreams and everything you’ve wanted just because you realized you want
something more? Why not have both?”

Buffy felt tears streaming down her cheeks as she threw herself into his
arms, feeling her heart swell with even more love for this man. She didn’t
think it was possible to love him anymore than she did. “You’re amazing,”
she whispered.

“No argument there,” he said with a smile, pulling back to wipe the tears
from her face before his smile slowly faded. “But it’s only because of
you.”

“I love you, so much,” Buffy whispered in between the soft kisses she was
leaving on his lips. “I never stopped.”

“I know.”

One Year Later


Spike and Buffy’s lips met in a tender kiss as everyone around the couple
began cheering. Pulling away from each other slowly, their eyes met, each
filled with happiness as they smiled at each other.

Buffy giggled as Spike wrapped his arms around Buffy, lifting her into the
air as he gave her another kiss.

“I love you, Spike,” she whispered.

“I know,” Spike replied before grabbing her hand and turning to face the
crowd of people standing on the beach.

The sounds of Sunnydale Day could be heard down the beach as the minister
spoke up, “It is my pleasure to announce…Mr. and Mrs. William Giles.”

Spike turned, still holding Buffy’s hand as he scooped up Dawnie in the
other arm. Buffy smiled at her daughter, dressed in her little white dress
and holding a basket of rose petals. Spike tugged on Buffy’s hand as they
began walking down the makeshift aisle, bringing it up to his lips and
leaving a tender kiss on it as the photographer snapped a picture.

“You ready to have some fun, luv,” he whispered as Dawn giggled. Buffy gave
Spike a look as her daughter and husband shared a scheming look.

“Race you!” Spike yelled as he took off down the beach with Dawn in his
arms.

Buffy laughed, pulling up the hem of her simple white dress and chasing
after them as the guests laughed at their antics.

Buffy’s parents, Spike’s dad, all of their friends, even Fred and her new
fiancée Wesley were in attendance. She had given the couple her best wishes
and was thrilled that they were the happy family that they deserved to be.

Buffy tried to keep up with her new husband but found that her white flip
flops wouldn’t let her come close to catching them. As they approached the
carnival, Spike and Dawn were now laughing at something as Buffy came up
behind them, wrapping her arms around Spike’s waist.

She left a tender kiss on his shoulder before a wicked grin settled on her
features. “Come on,” she said excitedly, taking his hand and leading the
three of them toward the Ferris Wheel.

“You have got to be soddin’ kidding me!” Spike cried as they got closer.

Buffy turned around with a smile on her face as Dawn giggled at her parents.
“But it’s my favorite ride, Spike…and it’s not like you’ve never been on
one before.”

“That was different,” Spike replied with a raised eyebrow. “I was just
trying to impress you…both times, actually. Now you’re my wife- I don’t
have to do anything to win you over.”

Buffy pouted, batting her eyelashes at Spike as a low growl rumbled through
his chest. “You owe me,” he said with a raised eyebrow.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Buffy said with a grin, pulling him through the
line.

Spike slowly sat down in one of the buckets, clutching Dawn to him as if he
truly believed his life depended on it. Buffy hopped down into the seat
with a wide smile on her face.

After a moment, Spike relaxed slightly when he saw how much fun his girls
were having. At least, until they shared their own sneaky look. Dawn
looked out over the carnival with a smile on her face. “Look, Daddy!” she
yelled, pointing at something that Spike didn’t want to focus on. “You can
see the whole carnival from up here!”

Buffy shifted in her seat as Spike’s eyes widened. “Bloody hell! Don’t
move! Don’t rock the car!”

Buffy turned to him with a smile on her face. “Do I need to make you forget
where you are?”

“I think that’s the best idea you’ve had all night,” Spike replied, finally
starting to relax as Buffy’s lips met his in a tender kiss, seconds before
the first fireworks of the night exploded overhead.

Some things never change.


THE END