Buffy stared disbelievingly at her boss. "You want me to what?"

Spike had the audacity to smile of course. "Sounds like you have to represent me luv."

"Shut up, Spike," she snapped at him and he just chuckled to himself. Rolling her eyes, she stared at her boss and what she thought was her good friend, Cordelia Chase.. "Don't do this to me. I can't do it. I'll kill him. You realize I will kill him right?"

"Hey!" Now he was offended?

Buffy glared at him, telling him to shut up with her eyes.

Spike ignored her. "If you must know you stupid bint, I asked for you specifically."

"Stupid bint? What the hell is a ‘bint' anyway? And I'm not stupid. You are."

"You bloody well are stupid. You act as if—"

"Can you guys knock it off please? God! What is wrong with you two?" Cordy exclaimed.

"I can't stand him. I thought that was obvious," Buffy said matter-of-factly.

"That hurts Summers, that really hurts," Spike told her, putting a hand over his heart.

"Cry me a friggen river," she spat. "Why me Spike?"

"Because you're the best publicist here."

"There are plenty of other—"

"I want you."

She stopped the tirade she was about to start and stared at him. For once, he looked sincere. His blue eyes were intense and almost gray with his earnestness. He didn't have his patented smirk on, he was just full of. . . solemnity. It startled her. She started to look around the room.

"What the bleeding hell are you doing now?" He asked her.

"I'm looking for where the portal is. I'm obviously in some alternate reality. You actually sound sincere."

He sighed heavily and stuck out his hand. "Truce?"

She looked at him warily and at the offered hand. Cordy was watching expectantly.

"Fine, truce," she said and ignored the proffered hand. She started for her office. "Let's look at a schedule and get some ideas."

Spike sighed and looked at Cordy. She shrugged. "Good luck."

"Thanks, I'm gonna need it."

"Why did you want her again?"

Spike smiled, "how could I not?"

"What are your plans for tonight?" Spike asked as he watched Buffy typing furiously into her computer. He stared at her, the way she bit her lip and tilted her head to the side, he watched the different facial expressions pass over her face. He wondered if she even knew how beautiful she truly was.

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "Why?"

"Just curious."

"Oh."

Silence.

"You gonna tell me or do I have to guess?"

"I'm going out."

"With?"

"No one you know."

"I know everyone you hang out with pet."

"Not everyone."

"Who then? A boy?" He chuckled.

She looked at him, "yes, as a matter of fact."

Spike stopped, his smile fading. "Who is it?"

She rolled her eyes. "We don't run with the same crowd anymore Spike. It's not important
for you to know every detail about my life anymore."

"I still retain the right to know."

"You've never retained the right to know anything about my life, but cool."

"You're a brat, you know that?" He was getting seriously angry with her now.

She smiled sweetly and stood, "thank you," and she sauntered out of the room.

Spike narrowed his eyes at her retreating form. He looked on her desk and found the source of what could tell him where she was going tonight and with whom: Her datebook. He grinned evilly and quickly fumbled through it.

"Angel? Who the soddin' hell is Angel?" He murmured to himself and then quickly placed the book down.

Buffy came in a second later. "I'll be by your place at 9am tomorrow for the interview that takes place at 10. Got it?"

"Nine am luv, I got it."

"Stop calling me that."

"What?"

"Luv."

"Why?"

"Uh, maybe because you don't mean it?"

"How do you know I don't mean it?" He tucked his tongue behind his front teeth, grinning
at her.

"Because you can't stand me remember?"

He shook his head and stood. "Sometimes I forget." Pause. "Luv." And he left before she could protest.



"So how was your day?" Angel, Buffy's boyfriend asked as he kissed her softly, holding her in his arms.

She groaned as she rested her head against his chest, "long. I have to represent Spike for a while."

"Spike?"

"You remember I told you about the annoying British guy that all my friends seemed to love in high school and I could not stand? He moved here when he was a sophomore. . . made my life a living hell. . . we hated each other. Although, I rather think he enjoyed being a pain in my ass. Well, he got a recording contract AND a book deal so now he's being catapulted into fame and he asks for me to represent him. ME."

Angel raised an eyebrow, "why?"

"I suppose he thinks I'll do whatever I can to get him exposure so that I don't have to deal with him anymore."

"You hate him that much?"

Buffy paused, a thoughtful expression on her face. "I guess I don't HATE him. It's just that in high school he did whatever he could to drive me nuts. He always tried to worm his way into my life and I just couldn't stand him. He has grown up since then, I suppose."

"You've still kept in touch with him?"

"Yeah, go fig. Not directly, more like indirectly. We still share the same friends and he always seems to be around where I am."

Angel fell silent. To him it sounded like the man named Spike had a thing for his girl. That wouldn't do at all. He might not have the history that Spike had, but he now part of Buffy's life and he wasn't going to let Spike interfere with that. Pulling her closer to him, he placed a sweet kiss on her forehead.

"I just want to forget about work and enjoy being here with you," she told him.

Angel smiled, "sounds good. Would you like a coffee?"

"Please."

Buffy smiled as she watched her boyfriend walk over to the coffee area. She sat back in the plush seat in the large but cozy bookstore and allowed her insides to turn to mush.

"Fancy meetin' you here, pet."

She froze. That voice. That annoying, British voice could only belong to one person.

She looked up to see Spike grinning at her.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She asked, annoyed.

"Wanted to get something to read. Check out where I want my book to be placed."

"Um, try under Marsters in Fiction. That's your last name and that is what your book is. Fiction."

"I was talking about under new releases," he glared.

"Again, under Marsters."

"Have a bloody answer for everything don't you?"

"Except for why you continue to breathe my air. Go away Spike."

"Why? So you can continue snogging your gigantic boyfriend in public?"

"He is NOT gigantic!!"

"Please, he looks like he could suffocate you.."

"I'm taking heat from the guy in the outdated Billy Idol look? That's rich."

"I'm not a metrosexual."

"You're not even sexual!"

"You're a bitch!"

"You're an asshole!" She jumped up, staring him down.

"Uh, Buffy?"

"What?" Buffy snapped, not even bothering to look at who was speaking to her. She was too busy wondering how she could rip Spike's head off and get away with it.

"Buffy?" The voice said, softer this time, and surprised.

She looked to see Angel standing there kind of awkwardly with their coffee. She calmed instantly and took a step away from Spike.

"I'm sorry, honey," she said softly and took her coffee from him. "This is Spike."

Angel looked toward the man that had turned his normally sweet and gentle girlfriend into a raving lunatic. "Hi. I'm Angel. Her boyfriend."

Spike narrowed his eyes at the man. Jealousy coursed through him, despite how hard he tried to ignore it. "Hi," he said tightly.

"Say goodbye now Spike. I'll see you at nine okay?" Buffy told him, nudging Angel slowly away from Spike.

"Bye," Spike said through clenched teeth as he watched Buffy sling her arm through Angel's and waltz away. What right did that ponce have to be that comfortable with her and get her to respond so kindly to him? What did he have to do to garner that kind of affection?

Just as promised, promptly at nine, Buffy arrived to take him to the interview. She prepped him in the car, giving him a list of the possible questions that would be asked, and the answers he should steer away from.



Spike was barely paying attention. “Where’d you meet him?”



Buffy stopped talking, looking confused. “Who?”



“Angel.”



“Oh. I met him at a poetry reading.”



“He writes?”



“Yeah, he writes. Okay, so I’m thinking you should not mention how many—“



“You love him?”



“Am I being interviewed or--?”



“I’m curious. Gotta look out for you, you know.”



She stared at him. “What?”



“Buffy, even if you never liked me. . . I always liked you. No matter what you’ll always be in

my life. I can’t just cut you out like that. I’ll always be here, you know that, don’t you?”



She didn’t know what to say and so she sat back and stared out the window for a long time,

Spike watching her intently the whole time. Finally, she turned to him and stuck out her hand.

“Truce. Again.”



He took it, fitting his hand against hers perfectly. He felt a jolt of electricity rush through

him and wondered if she felt it too. He looked up at her. Their eyes met.



“Truce,” she said again, prompting him.



He nodded, “truce.”



She took her hand back and started in again with the questions. For now, he let his questions about Angel slide.







“Spike, word of advice, you don’t need to flirt with every single female that comes within a mile radius.”



“Why not?”



“Do you want a rep like Colin Farrell?”



He pretended to think about it.



“Okay then. Maybe you do, but I would rather not have you, my client, have that rep. You

don’t want to get somewhere just based on how many girls you can nail.”



He stared at her, “jealous pet?”



She rolled her eyes, “yeah, I’m jealous. I’m being serious Spike. I’m representing you. That

means that you don’t act like a man whore. Got it?”



“Got it,” he smiled broadly. “See, this is why I picked you. You know me better than anyone

and you know what’s best for me.”



Her jaw dropped, “I know you better than anyone? How is that possible?”



“You’ve known me for how long? Forever it seems like. You’re the only one I know that can

push all my buttons. Why? Because you know just what buttons to push. Anyone who knows me

well enough should know just what buttons to push on me. You know what makes me happy, sad

and angry. This is why you’re my publicist.”



She stared at him.



“And my friend,” he added, looking directly in her eyes.



She nodded slowly and sat back, silent. She stared out the window and Spike watched her,

wondering what was going on in that beautiful head of hers. He just hoped it didn’t have anything to

do with Angel and instead had everything to do with him.



She was still silent when they returned to his home. He expected her to follow him up, but

she didn’t. She sat in the limo, watching him expressionless.



“Pet? You coming up?”



“No, I’ve got some work to do. I’ll be in touch.”



He sighed, “aren’t you hungry?”



“I’ll catch something at the office.”



“I want you to come in.”



“Spike—“



“Please?”



She sighed heavily. “Fine. I just need to call Angel. I promised after the interview was done,

I would.”



Spike just nodded, trying his best not to make a smart ass comment about Angel. That

would just send her off.



He led her up to his loft and she silently followed, probably figuring how surreal this all was.

They’d never hung out in high school alone. They always had a slew of people around them. There

was a reason for that.



She couldn’t stand him. Which would work out all well and good if not for one small

problem—he was completely smitten with her. He figured the more of a hard time he gave her;

the more she paid attention to him. It was better than her ignoring him. As long as he had her

attention, she wouldn’t be going anywhere. At least not in his mind. So, even after all these years past high school and college, he still stuck around to torment her. This time though, he wasn’t smitten. He was in love. The problem was, she still couldn’t stand him. He thought maybe if he started to treat her differently, worked with her, slowly ripped down the walls she had up against him, she’d come around. Now he had another barrier to get through: Angel.



“You have a nice place,” she told him simply as she took in her surroundings. “You even decorated. I’m impressed.”



He grinned, “was that a compliment?”



She gave him a look, “don’t push your luck. Phone?”



He sighed inwardly. “This way.”



He led her down the hall and into the study. “Privacy here.”



“Thanks,” she said quietly and reached for the phone.



“What does the lady wish for lunch?”



“What do you have?”



“How about. . . pancakes? I bet you didn’t have a proper breakfast this morning, did you?”



She shook her head, grinning. “I didn’t. That sounds really good.”



“How about bacon and sausage to go with it?”



“You’re making my mouth water,” she laughed.



“Breakfast coming up. Orange juice?”



“Iced coffee?”



“Coming up.”











When she rejoined him later, she couldn’t help but smile as she found him flipping pancakes

over a wide grill and moving the sausage and bacon around.



“Your secret is out. You can cook.”



He turned and smiled at her. “That’s not something you can put in a magazine. That’s our

secret.”



“Why? I mean, if word got out that you could cook, do you know how many girls would be

banging down your door?” She told him as she pulled up a stool and sat down next to him, watching him work.



“I don’t want a slew of girls, contrary to popular belief among, well, you.”



“Color me surprised.”



“I like to flirt and have fun, but I’m done with the one night stands and flings.”



She bolted up and touched the back of her hand to his head. “Are you feeling all right? I

don’t need my star getting sick on me now.”



“Ha bloody ha,” and he grabbed her wrist, bringing her hand off his forehead. A shiver went

through her and she snatched her hand away.



“So, shall we take out an ad for what Spike Marsters is really looking for?”



He looked down at her, studying her for a long time that she began to fidget under his gaze.

“No. When the right girl comes along, I’ll know.”



“Will she?”



He stared at her intently, “Oh yes. I’ll make sure of that.”



Feeling awkward all of a sudden, Buffy jumped down from the stool and started opening

cabinets. “Plates? Cups?”



He sauntered over to where she stood, opening cabinets and stood next to her, so close she

could feel his body heat and reached up slightly in front of her to grab cups. He turned into her, handing them to her.



“Buffy,” he breathed. Her heart was racing. Why was her heart racing?



“Yeah?” She said loudly and stepped away from him.



Whatever spell he had woven around her for that brief moment, fled.



“The plates are over there,” he pointed across the kitchen.



“Thanks,” and she went for them.







“So was it all bad to spend some time with me alone?” Spike asked as she gathered her

things.



She shook her head, “no. Surprisingly no.”



“Gee, thanks,” he said dryly.



She laughed, “habit. Come on, it wouldn’t be us if we didn’t insult each other at least. . .well,

any chance we got.”



“But, friends?”



She smiled and nodded, “friends.” Then she pointed at him. “Just don’t piss me off!”



He laughed and held up his hands. “I’ll try not to. Can’t make any promises.”



“I know. It’s you.”











True to her word, he did manage to piss her off two days later when he refused to play a free

concert a Boston radio station was holding.



“Are you being serious right now?” She asked him, her tone neutral, but letting him know

that she thought he was being an idiot.



He glared at her. “Very. I’m paying you to promote me, not sell me out.”



“Spike, you have to start somewhere. You’re not just going to make an album and boom—everyone suddenly knows who you are and records by the trillions are sold. You need EXPOSURE.”



“Not for a bloody pop concert where the headliner is Ashley Simpson.”



“So, what are you saying? If the local rock station was doing a free concert you’d do it. But



you won’t do it at the largest event that stars from all over are TRAVELLING to do?”



“’S’ right.”



“I knew it couldn’t last long,” she muttered as she stormed past him to her office.



“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, closing her door.



“I mean it was just a matter of time before you managed to piss me off.” “Sorry that I’m

not some automaton that does whatever you think is right when I think it’s wrong. It’s my job too

here!”



“Then if I’m doing such a shitty job why don’t you find someone else?” She shouted at him,

not caring if everyone on the floor could hear them.



“I don’t want anyone else!” He shouted back to her.



“Why me? For Christ’s sake, I obviously don’t KNOW you if I was willing to ‘sell you out’!

Find someone else!”



“I.Don’t.Want. Anyone. Else.” He told her through gritted teeth, their faces inches from

each other as they glared daggers.



“Why. Not?” She gritted back.



He relaxed a bit. “Because I want you. Only you. No one else will satisfy me.”



The tone, the softness, the tenderness in his eyes—it made her gasp and stand back.

Something told her he wasn’t just talking about her PR for him. Her eyebrows knit as she stared at

him, not sure what to say or do next.



“Maybe you should go so I can make some phone calls. I’ll call you,” she mumbled, turning

her back on him.



She heard him sigh as she started blindly fumbling through the papers on her desk and then suddenly she could feel him, behind her, surrounding her it seemed. She could feel him everywhere on her skin; she could feel his heat, his breath on her neck.



“Buffy.”



She froze, “what?”



He ran a hand down her bare arm, eliciting goose bumps. “Don’t be mad at me. I know you’re doing your job. I’m difficult, I know I am.”



She spun now, “difficult?” She let out a bitter laugh that got caught in her throat at the sight

of his tender gaze.



“Forgive me?” He whispered.



“Uh-huh,” she agreed, her eyes transfixed on his playing with a strand of her hair.



“Did you know that you were beautiful?”



Her eyes snapped up at that. “What?”



“You’re bleedin’ beautiful. Does Angel know how lucky he is?”



She was, for once, at a complete loss for words. All she could do was stare at him wide eyed.



He smiled saucily, “he doesn’t know does he? How lucky he is to have you?”



This was a game, was the only thought running in her mind. This was a game to him. With

that angering thought, she shoved him away from her. He looked at her, surprised. At least he had

the decency to do that.



“Don’t think your charm can get you out of every situation Mr. Marsters. I’m not a pawn in

your little head games.”


“Buffy.”

“I have calls to make. Please leave my office,” she told him coldly.



Sighing heavily, Spike nodded and left.



Buffy slumped in her chair and put her head in her hands, trying to calm her racing heart.

“What the hell is he playing at?”

A week had passed since the encounter in Buffy’s office and both had done well at not bringing it up again. Spike, for his part, had been trying to get more of a reaction from her that he’d started to get at his apartment. He saw it in her eyes that day. She didn’t realize it, but he saw it. She was developing feelings for him. And, being the hunter that he was, he was going to hunt until he caught her. Then, he was never going to let her go.



It was a horrible misunderstanding that she’d thought he was just trying to charm her out of doing the concert and being mad at him. All he’d really been thinking at that moment in time was that he had to kiss her or he’d go mad. Leaving her office without kissing her had made him go mad indeed.



She was consuming him, he realized. She was taking over his entire life. All he thought about was her; all he dreamt about was her. Everytime he was in the same room with her, he couldn’t take his eyes off her, couldn’t stop himself from imagining the hundred ways he would take her. He wanted her enveloped in him and for them to stay that way forever. He wanted to love her, cherish her, and possess her. Just as she’d possessed him.



So now, as they sat side by side in a limo, waiting to be dropped off at the airport for an impromptu trip to New York to do a couple of interviews, Spike was barely listening to her as she rattled off the itinerary. He was staring at her and thinking she was so beautiful he couldn’t breathe.



She handed him the piece of paper. “Spike? Are you listening?”



He nodded and took the paper, glanced at it. “How’s Angel?”



She set her bag between them. “He’s good. Thanks for asking. Did you remember the leather jacket? I think that would be a good trademark for you.”



“I remembered. How long you been together now?”



“About four months. Don’t lose that itinerary. That is your bible while we’re over there.”



“Do you love him?”



“What is it with you and this fascination with Angel? Do you want to date him?”



“Funny, pet, funny. I just want to make sure he’s good enough for my Buffy.”



She smirked, “YOUR Buffy huh?”



He nodded, “didn’t know that you were mine, did ya?”



“Guess not.”



“Well you are.”



“I guess that makes you mine then?”



“It does.”



“Well, my Spike, we’re here.”



He followed her out of the car and helped her with her luggage. “Do you love him?”



“How is that any of your business? And before you answer, allow me. It’s not. Friends or

not, it’s not your business what goes on with Angel and I.”



“I’m sure you tell everyone else though, don’t you? I bet if I asked Cordy how you felt about

Angel, she’d know. You still shut me out,” he told her, following her so closely into the airport he

was nearly nipping at her heels.



She slightly turned to stare at him. “Are you kidding me?” She shook her head. Then she

stopped and spun to him, causing him to nearly collide into her. She held up her hands to stop him,

resting them on his chest. “What the hell is going on with you? Spike, we’ve been ‘friends’ for a little

over two weeks—“



“We’ve been friends a lot longer than that. You just never wanted to admit it.”



“Why are you on me about this? Stop. My personal life is not up for discussion, all right?”



He glared at her. “Fine.”



“Thank you.” And she spun back around and headed for the line.







Sitting side by side in the plain, she watched as Spike sulked. She rolled her eyes and turned

toward the window, trying to block him out.



“I’m sorry I interrogated you,” she heard him say softly.



She turned back to him. “Let’s just forget it okay?” He nodded, not looking at her. The plane jolted to a start and she jumped and then swallowed hard.



“You all right pet?” He asked her.



“Yeah, just surprised me.”



“That why you’re gripping the arm rest for dear life?”



She looked down at her white knuckles and immediately loosened her grip, not wanting Spike to think she was a wimp. ‘Yeah, I’m fine.”



“You’re white as a sheet.”



“I’m Fine,” she said exasperated.



“You’re scared,” he pointed at her.



“Not true.”



“You are,” he smiled broadly.



“You would enjoy that. IF it were true.”



“No I wouldn’t, well, maybe a little. It’d be nice to see Miss High and Mighty be human every once in a while.”



“What’s that supposed to mean?”



“You act as if you have to be Miss Superpower Career Woman that can do it all. Have the boyfriend, the job and the social life. You can’t possibly be as together as you always project you are.”



Her jaw dropped open.



“Which leads me to the question. Are you in love with Angel?”



She shook her head, “you are unbelievable. Is there no limit to what you will do to get what you want?”



He tucked his tongue behind his teeth and smirked, “nope.”



“Well, I’m not answering. Mostly because you want me to so much and I don’t want to give

you that luxury.”



“You think I don’t know, but I do.”



“Know what?”



“Why you won’t answer.”



“Oh? And why won’t I?”



“Because you can’t lie. You’re horrible at it. So, you won’t lie to me and tell me you do when you don’t.”



“How do you know that I just don’t want to tell you that I don’t when I don’t?”



His eyes widened. Hers followed. Truth was out. And she hated him for it. Mostly because it was something she hadn’t even been able to admit to herself, let alone to him. She unbuckled her seat belt and stood, grabbing her purse and bag.



“Pet, where are you going? What are you doing?”



She looked around the cabin, spotting one empty window seat in the back. She didn’t answer him, but moved around him.



He grabbed her arm. “Pet, where are you going?”



“I’m not sitting with you,” she hissed and walked away from him. She sat herself down in the empty seat and turned away from his prying eyes. He was staring at her with longing and regret. Good. Let him feel bad. She turned her head so that he couldn’t see and stared at the window. She felt herself well up in tears and soon they were dropping onto the window and her hands. She tried to make herself stop, but couldn’t. In fact, the more she tried, the more the tears fell. Her fears about herself and her ability to have any normal relationship were surfacing and she couldn’t stop.



“Ma’am do you mind if I trade seats with you? You can have mine over there. All to yourself.”



She still refused to look at him, trying even harder to stop her tears.



“I can’t stand it when you cry,” he told her.



“Leave me alone.”



“Can’t do it sweetheart. Not when I had something to do with making you cry.”



“Then have something to do with making me feel better and leave me alone.”



“Told you I can’t do that. Kitten, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that to you---“



She spun to face him, tear stained, “then why? Why did you do it? Why couldn’t you just leave me alone?”



“I don’t know, pet. I don’t know. I’m sorry. I hate to see you cry, I hate to be the one to make you cry. Just. . . tell me what I can do now to make it better.”



“Nothing,” she said mournfully and turned away again.



He surprised her by taking her hand. “I want to make it better because I care about you Buffy. I don’t ever want you to cry and if I could make all the bad things disappear so you’d never cry, I would do it.”



She looked at him and started to laugh through her tears. “As far as lines go, that’s the best. You should put that in one of your novels. The heroine will be putty in the hero’s arms.”



“I don’t know,” he frowned, “you’re not putty in mine.”



She hit him playfully and moved her hand out of his grasp. “I don’t want to talk to you

about this right now okay?”



He nodded, “when you’re ready. Do you forgive me?”



She sighed, “for now.”





They arrived in New York and got their luggage, hailed a cab and rode to their hotel, all in silence. Spike was watching her, not wanting to push her. He’d hurt her by making her admit that she didn’t love him and he didn’t feel the joy he’d thought he’d feel by that admission. He was worried by her tears. It wasn’t like her to cry—at all. To see her cry worried him and all he wanted to do was make it better. He followed her up to their rooms, on the same floor of the hotel, and waited by her as she unlocked her door. She looked over at him. “I’ll come by later so we can go over tomorrow.”



“That’s it then?” He asked.



“I just don’t feel like talking right now. I kind of want to be alone.”



He sighed and leaned in, kissing her forehead. “If you need me, I’m here, okay?”



She nodded, mumbled her thanks and in she went.


Thanks guys for the reviews! They mean a lot to me :) Please keep them coming...I want to hear what you think such as....what would you like to happen while they're in New York???

**Hey Guys! Thanks for the reviews :) They've made me smile and I really like hearing what you think and what you want. I'm going for a snarkier Spuffy and the demanding/possessive Spike that we all know and love. Enjoy!!**


A few hours later, Spike was going mad wondering what was going on with her. He figured he could treat her to dinner to make it up to her and cheer her up. He went to her room and knocked on the door. No answer. His eyes narrowed and he knocked again. “Pet? Buffy?” No answer. He was just about to start hunting for her when the door flew open to reveal a sleepy, tousled Buffy.



“What’s wrong?” She asked, yawning.



He smiled at how cute she looked. “Have a nice nap?”


She nodded. “Apparently I was tired. Come in.”



He followed her inside, resisting the urge to reach out run his fingers through her tousled locks. “Wanted to know if you wanted to get something to eat?”


She nodded, “yeah. I’m hungry now that I’m awake. Have a seat; I’m just going to freshen up.”



He sat in her ‘living room’ and flicked on the TV, waiting for her to come

back. When she did, she looked awake and fresh. Her hair brushed, her makeup reapplied, her skin glowing. She was even smiling a bit. “Ready?”



He nodded and followed her out.



They opted to eat in the hotel restaurant and they sat in amiable silence and watched the people around them float here and there.



Suddenly, Buffy turned to him and said conversationally. “Let’s do something fun tonight.”



Spike blinked. She wanted his company for longer than dinner? She wanted to spend time with him? He tried to recover his shock quickly. “Like what?”



She shrugged. “Something fun.” She leaned forward, her eyes glittering with mischief. “Let’s go club hopping. We’ll make it a rule that we have to have at least one drink before we move on to the next one. And . . . . among the clubs we have to hit is a female strip club and a male strip club.”



Now his jaw dropped. Was this the same straight-laced Buffy he’d known since high school? “Are you serious?”



She nodded, smiling devilishly. “Very.”



“You want to watch women strip,” he said matter of factly.



She shrugged, “why not? We are in New York; we might as well take advantage of it, right? You done yet?” She pointed at his food.



He nodded slowly. “Yeah.”



“Let’s go then,” and she stood, dropping some bills on the table before waltzing off. He followed suit and ran after her. He grinned in anticipation as he watched her behind sway out the door.


They’d been to two clubs and she’d had two drinks so far. She was loose and smiling and talking animatedly to Spike who was sucking up the attention and basking in it. It helped that he was her sole companion, but they were learning things about each other that one or both of them had never taken the time to learn before. For Buffy, she liked him the more she learned and for Spike, he was falling in love that much more the more he learned. She enjoyed his ability to adapt to his surroundings and was learning from him how to do that. He was learning that whenever she was nervous, she leaned on him and by the time they had started for their third club, she’d taken to holding onto his arm as she laughed about some of the freaks they’d encountered in the previous club. He laughed along with her and easily slipped his hand over hers, securing her hand in place on his arm, possessively. He wanted the world to know that she was his. It didn’t matter to him that the girl on his arm knew it yet, for tonight at least, she was his.



Entering their third club, Spike watched bug eyed as he took in the writhing half naked bodies of what appeared to be a fantasy/sex club. He looked over at Buffy whose jaw had dropped to the ground and was paling considerably by the minute. She gulped and looked at him, unconsciously tightening her hand on his arm. “I don’t know, Spike.”



He grinned, “come on. You wanted to experience New York. Let’s experience it.”



She gestured at the bodies around them engaged in…she tilted her head to the side. Was that couple--?



“Try not to gawk, sweetheart,” he told her in her ear and he could smell the sweet scent of warm vanilla waft through his nose. God, he wanted to eat her up. She looked up at him wide-eyed and nodded. He noticed though, that she plastered herself at his side.



“Let’s get our one drink,” she told him and led him to the bar.



Once at the bar, she allowed herself some room from him and while they waited, she swiveled to watch the crowd.



“Hey beautiful.”



Buffy looked to see who was talking and who he was talking to when she realized that dark haired man was talking to HER.



“H-hi.”



His eyes raked over her body, “how you doing?”



“Good, how are you?”



He chuckled and leaned in, “I’ll be doing great if you agree to dance with me.” Boldly, he ran a hand down her bare arm and licked his lips.



“The lady is with me,” Spike spoke up. She looked up at him and was startled to find Spike looking about ready to pummel the guy. Huh, whaddya know. Spike was defending her honor. Spike wrapped his arm around her shoulders and brought her close.



“How about a sandwich?” The guy asked.



Buffy’s jaw dropped for the hundredth time. Spike glared. “No, I don’t share her.”



The guy shrugged and walked off.



Buffy smiled up at Spike, “Spike Marsters, you’re my hero,” she said, imitating Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.



Spike laughed and handed her the beer she ordered. “Want to watch?”



“Let’s walk around. I want to see stuff.”



Spike laughed and noted that she must have felt braver because she was no longer plastered against him. He missed it; he wanted her back by his side again.



Spike couldn’t help but find the whole atmosphere incredibly erotic as he watched couples writhe, make out and just about fornicate all over the club. The smell of sex, perfume, cologne and sweat permeated the air and it was intoxicating. Stopping suddenly and blatantly watching the activity, Spike watched with hunger as Buffy nibbled her bottom lip. She looked up at him and grinned saucily before grabbing his hand and leading him to the floor. “Teach me,” she told him. “I want to dance like that.” She pointed to the grinding bodies on the floor and Spike gulped this time.



“Buffy,” he started uncertainly. She flung herself into his arms and wrapped herself around him. He groaned at the feeling. He placed his hands on her hips and pulled her even closer, molding their bodies together and she wrapped her arms around his neck.



He stared into her wondrous green eyes and lost himself. Letting the music over take him and the feel of her body against his, he began to move slowly, letting her feel every part of him as he did her. She looked shook up, but determined to do this at the same time. He watched her eyes and the emotions reflected in their green depths. He couldn’t really decipher many of them, but he enjoyed trying to figure it out. He felt himself rise in arousal and didn’t care any longer if she felt it. He knew the minute she did though because she laughed and pushed herself away from him, shaking her finger at him.



“Naughty boy,” she teased him.



He grabbed her, hauling her against him again, “let’s both be naughty.”



She laughed again and pushed him away. “Now, now. I have a boyfriend. You have to be nice,” and she bounded off, grabbing his hand. “Next club!”



He followed her, wanting nothing more than to kiss her and lose himself in her, claim her, mark her, make her his. He couldn’t though. He had to keep himself in check or he’d lose her forever by acting rashly. His heart was thumping in his chest and he was nearly shaking with desire. God, this had never happened to him. What kind of spell had she cast on him?



The next club was a female strip club, which did not help his raging libido. Was it him or did all the girls look like her? Oh God, he couldn’t even look at gorgeous naked women without seeing her. What was happening to him? He was obsessed.



She watched in open fascination and contemplativeness. She pointed at the girl stripping on stage. “I could do that.”



Spike groaned and his head dropped to the table. Images of Buffy stripping for him danced in his head.



She laughed at him, “what’s wrong?”



He looked up at her with unbridled lust, “are you trying to kill me?”



She looked taken aback. As if she might not know that she was desired, as if she might not know that he wanted her. “Want to go?”


“Do you?”


“You uh seem a little bothered. Maybe too much stimulation.”



He stared at her hotly until she began to fidget. “Stop.”


“Stop what?” He asked innocently.



“Looking at me like that. I’m not them, remember?” She put her hand on his face and turned his head towards the women stripping. “Direct that at them. Not me.”


He turned back to her. “Impossible.”



She furrowed her brow. “Why?”



“Because I’m not in love with any of them,” he blurted out.



He regretted it a second later when her eyes bugged out of her head and she looked as if she had to run far, far away. She stood

unsteadily and grabbed her purse.



“Buffy, wait, please.”



She smacked his hand away and quickly rushed away from him. He ran after her, finally catching up with her outside. “Buffy—“



“Are you crazy? What the hell are you thinking?” She screamed at him, spinning to face him. “How many have you had? You don’t go

around saying stuff like that—what is going on with you?”



“I’m not drunk. I’m not crazy although, you certainly make me feel that way. Especially when you’re being so bloody difficult!”


She pointed at herself, poking herself in the chest. “I’m difficult? Me? I’M DIFFICULT?”



“Yes! Do you know that I spent most of my high school existence trying to get your attention? All I got was your scalding hatred.”



“Well if you weren’t UP MY ASS all the time MAYBE you would’ve gotten more!”



“I wouldn’t have been UP YOUR ASS if you’d tried to at least be nice to me!”


“You wanted me to be nice to you? You dumped Jell-O in my hair the first day of school, you tried to scare my prom date away by

telling him you were my brother that just escaped from jail, you nearly had me killed when you got your license and I almost ended up meeting the business end of cow—no, tell me Spike, why SHOULD I have been nice to you? You did everything you could to drive me absolutely INSANE!”



He threw up his hands. “Don’t you see? Don’t you see that all of that was to try to get your attention?”



“Yeah, it got my attention Spike. I spent most of my high school existence and then at least half of my college life wanting to maim

you.”


“See? I grew on you. You only wanted to hurt me half of your college life.”



“Only because you went away to California for two years, remember?”



“Oh.”



“Yeah. Listen. Let’s just forget that you had that slip up in there and move on. You had a lot of stimulation tonight. You’re a guy;

you’re all about the visual. I’m a girl, I was . . . here. It’s normal. Lust maybe, but not love.”



He shook his head. “I can’t pretend anymore Buffy. I can’t. I love you. I always have and I always will.”



“What are you talking about you always have. You have NOT always have and you will not always WILL.”



He stepped forward, grabbing her by the waist and bringing her closer to him. “I have. I do. And I will.”



She pushed him away and shook her head. “I have a boyfriend. You just. . . “



“Just what?”



“You just want me because I’m with someone else!”



“The someone else you don’t love you mean?”



She glared at him, nearly spitting daggers from her eyes and she spun around and started off without him. Sprinting after her, Spike fell

in step beside her no matter how fast or how hard she tried to get rid of him.



“You can tell me you hate me all you want, but the fact is you don’t. You can’t deny that there’s heat between us, Buffy.”



She snorted. “You’re nuts.”



“You made me that way.”


She stopped and turned to him. “So what can I do to stop it?”



He shook his head, grinning at her almost sadly. “Nothing sweetheart. You’re stuck with me.”



“Lucky me,” she muttered and stalked off again.



The way back was wrought with silence although Spike could see her stealing glances at him every once in a while. Of course when he

looked at her, she turned away haughtily. He shook his head and sighed. She could be right difficult when she put her mind to it.



“I’ll be by at ten. Be ready,” she told him at her hotel room door before nearly slamming the door in his face.



Sighing heavily, Spike wondered how that possibly could have gone worse.







She’d overslept. She knew it the minute her eyes popped open and landed on Spike’s concerned blue ones.



“What time is it? How’d you get in my room?” She asked groggily as she struggled to sit up.



“It’s ten and there is a door that joins our rooms. I found the key and let myself in. You feeling all right?”



“Yeah, apparently my alarm didn’t go off. Shit. We have time. It’s all right. It doesn’t matter what I look like.” She crawled out of the

bed and looked around the room, lost for minute. “Okay, note book,” she picked up the notebook with all her notes she prepared for the

interview and thrust it at him. “Look this over while I shower. If you have any questions, then we’ll cover them on our way. Sound good?”



He nodded, “pet, you do you want me to order you something?”



“No time. Just read. I’ll be out in fifteen.”



She rushed into the bathroom and took a quick shower, dressing even quicker as she tried to make herself presentable with a tooth

brush stuck in her mouth. Rushing out of the bathroom to gather her things, she found Spike staring at her, slightly wide-eyed.



“What?”



He shook his head.



She shrugged and slid on her socks and shoes. She stood. “I’m ready. You ready? You have your coat?”



He pointed to the bed where it was draped.



“Okay, let’s go.”



“Did you go over the possible questions and the answers? I made a list of what to avoid answering and how to deflect certain

uncomfortable questions.” She took the notebook from him as they entered the elevator. She began flipping through the notebook.



“Okay, this one. The girlfriend question. You don’t have a girlfriend right now so it’s not a big deal—“



“And if I did?”



“Then you’d tell them that you wish to not discuss your personal life.”



“Is Cordy going to reassign you?”


She looked at him, puzzled. “Why would she do that?”



“Well, I assume that you can’t date a client. So when we start dating, does that mean that I’d have to find a new representative?”


She stared at him, floored. Her mind was still groggy and was unable to focus on more than one thing at a time. Switching gears at that

point was difficult and what he just said made her wonder if there was something about last night she’d missed.



“What?” She asked, dumbfounded.



“When we start dating—“



“Whoa, back that bus up. WHEN we start DATING?” She shook her head. “We’re not dating Spike. Did I say something that led you

to believe we would?”



“You don’t love Angel.”


“I don’t love you either.”



He appeared stung at that and she shrugged it off. “Who the hell do you think you are making decisions for me?”



He leaned in close. “I’m the guy that loves you. I’m also the guy you DO love.”



“Angel loves me too.”



“But you don’t love him. You love me.”



“Are you mentally challenged?”



He clucked his tongue in disapproval and shook his head.



“We’re not dating Spike. I don’t love you, you don’t love me. I have a boyfriend and I’m committed to making it work. I find it rather

scummy that you would try to get with someone that’s involved.”


“I’m not trying to ‘get with’ you, Buffy. I’m trying to love you and make you happy.”


“You want to make me happy?”



He nodded.



“Then just shut up and let me do my job. You do your job; I do my job and nothing else. Got it?”



He sighed and looked toward the elevator doors. “For now.”



“God, you’re just so –“She stopped when the elevator doors opened. “Annoying,” she hissed as they exited.



“And you’re not?” He asked her out loud.



She glared at him. “And you claim to love me. Ha!”



He glared back and she strode forward, ignoring him.



In the car, she refused to look at him. She stared out the window as she thought about them. Their life up until now. How he’d always

been this permanent fixture in her life that she just couldn’t seem to get rid of. He was always right there by her side. He seemed to do

everything he could to annoy her and yet he was always there to comfort her when she was down. Funny how she never focused on those

times very much.



“Remember when I didn’t get the part in The Tempest?” She blurted out suddenly, still not looking at him.



“You were devastated. Didn’t want to talk to anyone.”



“You found me at the library.”



“All the way in the back.”



“You brought a flask of tequila with you.”



“You were all wound up about getting caught, but you took some anyway.”



“You always seemed to be there when I didn’t even know I needed someone.”


“Sixth sense.”



She looked at him now, “is that what it is?”



He smiled, just a ghost of one and shook his head. “No. It’s love, pet. It’s because I love you.”



“When?”



“Been so long I can’t even remember when. Just always was.”



“Why? I’m horrible to you.”



“Sometimes, I deserve it. But you haven’t been that way to me always. Those times, like the one at the library . . . you weren’t awful to

me then. We talked, really talked and we didn’t argue once.”



She nodded slowly, looking down. She looked up at him then and gazed at him. He was watching her, wondering, she knew, what was

going on in her head. And as she stared at him, all those times when he had been there started coming at her playing like a movie in her mind.

Before she even realized what she was doing, she was in his arms and on his lap and they were kissing as if there was no tomorrow. He was

devouring her lips, moaning as he tried to practically pull her into himself.



“I love you, god, I love you so much,” he breathed when they parted for oxygen. He was on her in an instant and she wound her arms

around him, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.



The limo screeching to a halt jolted her out of their passion. “Spike, we’re here,” she told him, breaking away.



He looked at her, his gaze full of lust and love. “I don’t care. Cancel it. I’ve got my girl in my arms; I don’t care about a bloody

interview.”



“Spike, we can’t do that,” she crawled off his lap and flung the door open, crawling out. He followed suit a moment later and

immediately grabbed for her, pulling her against him and nuzzling her neck.



“Spike . . . stop. You’re making a scene.”



“So then let’s make a scene. I don’t care. You’re my girl and I don’t care who knows it.”



“Interview,” she told him firmly and pushed at him, righting her clothes.



He sighed and grabbed her hand. “Can I at least do this?”



She shook her head, “that’ll lead to questions. Professional, Spike, okay?”



He sighed and raked a hand through his hair. “You’re bloody impossible you know that? Got my motor all revved and ready—“


“You’ll live. Let’s go.”

The interview went by without a hitch and Buffy, for one, was relieved that hurdle was over. They had one more later that day and Buffy was hoping for a nap before it came. Her mind was clouded and fuzzy—partly because of her serious make out session with Spike in the limo. What kind of vapid ho was she? No matter if she was in love with Angel or not, she still respected him. Guilt. She felt guilt. And anger. Anger at Spike for making her remember the good times, for making her FEEL period.
She had a throbbing headache and she was finding it hard to focus on anything. Job hazard to be sure. As Spike chatted with a photographer and she chatted with the interviewer, she was offered water, which she proceeded to down in one long gulp. She was nearly gasping for air when she was done. Erin--?—stared at her in surprise.
“Thirsty, pet?” Spike asked, and she looked over to see him standing next to her all of a sudden.
“Yeah,” she said lamely and tried unsuccessfully to crack her neck. Was it her or was the room hot? She felt suffocated suddenly.
“Pet, you all right?”
She ignored him and asked Erin “got a bathroom?”
“Down the hall.”
“Thanks,” and she strolled off.
In the bathroom, she stared at herself in the mirror. Spike made out with her why? She looked like shit! She looked exhausted with the dark circles and tired eyelids. Her hair was pulled back and nearly falling out in strands. She looked disgusting to herself. She needed food, Tylenol, a nap and another shower. All in that order. Trying to put her hair back into some kind of order and trying to make herself look somewhat presentable, she started on her way out when she slammed her foot into the corner of the counter. She gritted her teeth, trying not to give into the temptation to scream in pain. Limping out of the bathroom, she decided she just wanted to die.
“Pet, what’d you do? Why are you limping?”
She looked up to see Spike in front of her all concerned and gentle and she felt like the biggest shit because all she could think of was Angel and how she cheated on him.
“I’m fine, I just. . . I’m a klutz.”
“Can you walk all right?”
“I just need to walk it off,” she told him and started on her way.
“You hung?”
She frowned, “I never get hung over. I think I just need some sleep. And food. And something for my head.”
Taking her hand in his, Spike started leading her to the door. She stopped and pulled her hand out of his grasp. He looked at her in surprise.
“I can walk fine Spike. I don’t need you to hold my hand through it.”
He was clenching his jaw. “That it then?”
She let out a loud sigh, “don’t start. I’m not in the mood.”
“Knew we never should have stopped for the interview,” he muttered.
“Yeah, I should have continued my cheating on my boyfriend,” she told him sarcastically.
“You don’t love him.”
She threw up her arms, “that’s not the point!”
“It’s the whole point, Buffy. You don’t love him. You love me.”
“Would you stop saying that?” She hissed at him and stormed off. At that point, she didn’t want to be anywhere near him. She just wanted him to leave her alone and stop muddling her thoughts. The limo was waiting for them outside and she spun to Spike.
“Limo’s here. It’ll take you back.”
“Where are you going?”
“Taking a cab.”
“Buffy—“
“I’ll see you later.”
He grabbed her arm. “Do you have money on you?”

She stopped. Did she? Fuck.
“Great. You see? You see how you mess up all my plans?” She yelled at him.
“How am I messing up your plan to take a taxi? You’re the one without any money. You want money? I have some; by all means let me give you some, consider it thanks for snogging with me in the limo earlier!”
Furious, for being made to feel even worse about herself for making out with him and cheating on Angel, she saw red and hauled off and punched him. Her eyes went wide as Spike shouted and grabbed his nose.
“You bitch!” He yelled.
Her hands flew to her mouth in shock of what she’d just done. Then she saw the blood. “Oh my god! Spike I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to punch you. Let me see—“
“Get away from me you stupid bint,” he growled at her. “I’m taking the fucking cab!”
“Fine! Take it!” She screamed at him and stomped away and into the limo. She watched him hail a cab whilst keeping a hand on his bleeding nose. God, she hoped it wasn’t broken. That would not bode well. Not at all. Especially with an interview later, and oh god, what if someone had seen them? She sunk into the seat just as the limo pulled out. She turned to see Spike getting into a cab. She sighed and sat down while her cell phone went off. Message.
She opened it and read her text: ‘Miss you. Angel.’ She suddenly didn’t feel so guilty about clocking Spike’s nose. Guilty, but not AS guilty. Angel missed her and she’d admitted to Spike she didn’t love him. Then she’d gone and kissed Spike. Surely the punch made up for that right? She sunk lower into the seat and just wished the weekend would be over and soon.
When she arrived at the building, Spike was pulling in just behind her. She had to bite back her pride and go over to him. He seemed a bit calmer, but still glared at her.
“Come to finish the job?”
She took a deep breath. “Listen, I’m sorry that I punched you—“
“Are you really?”
She glared at him, “it’s a sliding scale.”
He glared at her.
“Can I see what the damage is please?”
He moved his hands away and she gasped. “Spike, is it broken?”
“Don’t flatter yourself.”
“Do you want it to be?”
“It’s not broken. I just need some ice.”
“Let me help you.”
“Thought you wanted me to leave you alone.”
“I just want to help; can you not make it a thing?” She sighed.
“Fine,” he relented and they made their way to the hotel desk to find out if they could get some assistance on ice packs. They sat in the lobby and waited while Buffy tried to get him to show her more of his nose.
“Spike, it’s all red and swollen. I’m going to cancel the interview.”
“Buffy, no, why?”
“Because your nose looks horrible and you don’t want them asking questions.”
“It’s their job.”
“I know smart ass.”
“I’ll just tell them that. . . that I got into a fight with a guy because he was harassing a young lady and he didn’t like what I said. Come on, isn’t all that lying and extolling my virtues right up your alley?”
She was trying not to grin. “Spike, I don’t know.”
“Don’t fret your pretty little head about it. I have an interview and I intend to go. Just because my publicist is violent is no reason the show mustn’t go on.”
“Oh shut up. I wouldn’t be so violent if you didn’t know when to shut your trap.”
They fell into silence and some time passed before Spike spoke.
“I still love you, you know. If you thought punching me could stop that, you were wrong,” he told her softly.
“Spike,” she started.
“No, don’t say anything. Can’t you just believe me when I say it and let that be enough for now?”
“Why now Spike? Why didn’t you ever tell me before?”
“It was never the right time.”
“And it was the right time when I’m involved with someone? It wasn’t fair to spring something like that on me like that.”
“Then you tell me when a good time would have been.”
“Maybe when you started having the feelings?”
“In high school? You wanted me to tell you then?”
“I don’t know! All I know is that you tell me you love me and that you expect us to be dating and that I love you. . . you can’t make those decisions for me.”
“You’re right.”
“Then why are you?”
He looked at her, a bit sheepish. “I was trying to convince you. I thought if I told you enough, you’d believe it.”
“You’re kind of twisted.”
“Can’t help it. Comes with wanting you since high school. You drive me crazy you know? Always have and probably always will,” he muttered as he hung his head.
She stared at him, feeling guilty for hurting Spike, for kissing him and essentially cheating on Angel, for enjoying the kiss and wanting more, for leading Spike on, for punching him. . . the list went on and on.
She wanted to go home. She wanted to go home and just hide. She didn’t want to be here anymore, she didn’t want to deal with any of it anymore. When the attendant finally came and handed them the ice packs, the silently made their way back to their rooms.
“You going to take a nap pet?”
She nodded mutely, feeling exhaustion creep into her bones.
“Are you all right?”
She shook her head, her lower lip beginning to quiver.
Spike stopped her and grabbed her arm, turning her so she’d look at him. “What is it kitten?”
“Just. . . everything. I feel like I’ve packed a week in two days. I’m over tired and emotional and I punched you and I just. . .”
“What baby?”
“I want to go home!” She cried.
His eyes narrowed slightly, “you miss Angel that much?”
She threw up her arms in exasperation. “Why do you automatically think that everything has to do with him?”
“Well it does, doesn’t it?”
“No actually it doesn’t. As a matter of fact this weekend has been all about you, you conceited jerk! Do you realize that you are the only person I know that can single-handedly turn my life completely upside down? You’ve been doing it since I met you!”
He slowly broke out into a smile, “it’s only fair I wager. You turned my life upside down and have since I met you. You think you don’t drive me completely nuts? Do you know what it’s like to love you and have to watch you with Angel or any of the other blokes you’ve dated? Or how it feels to love you and have you hate me? Why do you think I chose you to represent me luv? Not just because I knew you’d do a fantastic job but also because that way, I’d have you to myself. Some part of you would be all mine. It was better than watching you from a far and never getting a chance to be near you.”
She gasped at his declaration; let it wash over her. “You love me,” she finally managed. No one had ever said such beautiful words to her. No one.
He grinned, reached out and tucked some hair behind her ear. “Yes luv. You just figuring that out?”
“I. . . I. . . need a nap,” she said, though not moving. . Her heart was swelling inside her chest and she felt the incredible urge to kiss him. What the hell was he doing to her sense? How in the world did he always manage to take reason and accountability and fling it out the door? He made her such a mess!

“Go on then luv. Get your nap,” he gestured toward the door.
She nodded and before she could change her mind and fling herself back in his arms, she unlocked the door and practically ran in.

She had to admit, she felt better. Not a hundred percent, but that would come when she finally got home. She'd taken a hot bath, read some of her book to take her mind off Spike thoughts, taken some much needed aspirin, ate, and napped. Glancing at the adjoining door to Spike's room, she searched around for a key, finally finding one on the windowsill. She heard the TV running and entered, calling out his name.
No answer. She opened her mouth to call for him again when she heard a moan. She stopped in her tracks and strained to hear. Yep, definitely a moan and definitely Spike. She moved closer to the bathroom and found the door slightly open. Spike was in the shower.

"Oh God, Buffy. Buffy. . ." he moaned.
Her jaw dropped to the ground. Was he? Oh my god, he was. Half of her wanted to actually see it, while the other
half wanted to run. She took the middle ground, on auto pilot,
and stood from the door, but peered in. She could see his
movements behind the barely concealing shower curtain. He
was masturbating! To her name.

"Baby, I'm gonna cum. . . oh Buffy!" His voice rang out and
she stood there, transfixed, noticing his whole body tremble.
He was cumming. Oh. My. God. She just stood there in
shock, not even seeing anything, not even being able to think
anything. When she heard the swoosh of the shower
curtain, she sprang into action and flew out of the room,
praying and hoping he hadn't seen her. Her mouth was dry,
her heart was racing and she felt herself trembling.

Holding onto the wall and trying to get herself under control,
she nearly had a heart attack when Spike came strolling in a
second later.

"Buffy? Were you looking for me?"

She jumped away from the wall and found she couldn't look
at him. "Uh, yeah. I found the key. I heard the shower running
so I came back in here to wait. I should have closed the door,
I'm looking for my notes, have you seen them? Did I give them
to you? I swear I'm so scattered sometimes. Honestly, I don't
know why you want such a ditz handling your PR, maybe
you should consider--

He put a hand over her mouth gently, stopping her rambling.
The hands that—she let out a squeek and jumped away from
him.

"What's gotten into you?"

"Caffeine. Makes me jumpy. I should really cut back."

"So, watching me jack off to your name had nothing to do
with it?" He asked, his voice dropping to a husky timbre.

Her jaw dropped to the floor, she was sure, and if her eyes
got any wider, her eyeballs would surely roll out of her head.
Her face felt as if it had been subjected to heavy amounts of
steam, as if she'd stuck her head over boiling water.

He walked slowly to her, a predatory smile on his face. "Find
it hot that I jack off to you?"

She blinked at him.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" He whispered.

"Uhh…I think so?"

"You think so? Would you like me to show you?" he asked,
nuzzling her cheek, inhaling her scent.

When exactly had her knees decided to leave her? She felt
weak and found it hard to stand all of a sudden. It was a
good thing then that Spike was there to take her in his arms
and steady her.

"Tell me it made you hot. Tell me you love knowing you have
that power over me. You love knowing it's you, don't you?"
He pulled back enough to look her directly in the eyes, his
cerulean eyes almost navy with lust. She could feel his
breath on her, noting they were so close, their breath was
mingled. "You're all I bloody think about," he whispered,
grazing her lips with his own. "Tell me you want me to kiss
you."

She let out a whimper, her self control snapping to shreds.
His body heat was sinking into her skin and her lids were
closing. She felt drugged.

"Tell me. . . " he urged. "Please," now he was begging. "God if you don't let me kiss you, I think I'll go insane. . . "
The shrill sound of the phone ringing caused Buffy to come out of her Spike induced haze and snap back to reality. Her lids popped open and she drew in a steadying breath and took a step back. The need and want on Spike's face was
plainly written for her to see. She could see his silent plea
with her to forget the phone while, a resignation was
beginning to dawn on his gorgeous features. Whoa.
Gorgeous?

Spinning around and lunging for the phone, she let out a
weak "Hello?"

"This is your five o' clock reminder. . . " When in the world
had she asked for that? Oh yeah. Before she'd taken her
nap.

"Thank you," she cut the nice man off. She placed the phone
back in its cradle. "Time to go," she announced without
turning around. She started gathering her things. "There
should be a car waiting for us downstairs. Grab your coat
and we should be all set to go. I'll brief you in the car. . ." She
turned then and found Spike already at the door, said door
wide open. He had his duster on and he bore a look of
frustration.

She stared at him, questioning.

"Let's go then," he nearly barked at her and started down
the hall.

Looking up at the ceiling, Buffy prayed for help.



Buffy wanted the Earth to open up and swallow her hole.
How had she missed that the Harmony that was giving the
interview was the same Harmony that Spike had briefly dated
in high school? The Harmony that dotted her I's with hearts
and spoke with a whine to her voice and was possibly the
single most annoying creature on the face of the planet. She
remembered that the mutual friends they'd run with had
distanced themselves quite a bit when Spike had started
dating her. In fact, many times they'd all dispersed like flies
when Spike would bring her round. Buffy was sure it was
that fact alone that had caused Spike to eventually break
things off with the clingy pain in the ass. Why he wouldn't
have done it simply because she was an irritating air head was beyond Buffy. And now, now she was being subjected
to watching Harmony giggle and make cow eyes at Spike,
while Spike grinned and flirted mercilessly. And what was
even more infuriating than having to listen to Harmony and
watch as she touched Spike whenever the chance
presented itself, was that it wasn't just that Buffy found
Harmony a poor excuse for a so-called business woman, it
was that she was JEALOUS. This was the guy who'd
claimed to love her and he was acting as if he'd agree to any
proposition Harmony would surely come up with at any time.

The ugly word hung over Buffy like a dark cloud. Jealous.
She. Was. Jealous. She tried talking herself out of it, tried
convincing herself that she was merely jealous that Harmony
was working for a successful magazine whilst having no
brain power whatsoever while Buffy had had to work hard
for her position at her PR firm. Harmony probably just had to
blow some editor in chief for her position. She wasn't even
asking any questions! She was flirting shamelessly and
reminiscing about high school rather than asking the hard-
hitting questions.

Clapping her hands together, Buffy caught the attention of
Spike and Harmony. She leaned forward with a fake smile
plastered on her face.

"Spike, why don't you tell Harmony about your book?"

Harmony giggled, "Sorry Spikey. Looks like Bitsy wants to
get down to work. You know what they say Bitsy. All work
and no play makes—"


"Bitsy?" Buffy cut her off. She shook her head, sliding off
the stool she'd been perched on. "So," she started, letting out
a bitter chuckle, "this must be the seventh ring of hell."

Spike and Harmony opened their mouths to speak, but Buffy
held up her hands and stopped them. "Please. I'm fine. I can't
even tell you how done I am right now.

You two catch up, reminisce, chat…Have sex for all I care.
Me? I'm going home. It's all I've wanted to do for the past
twenty-four hours and I'm a little tired of waiting. You kids
have a good night."

She nearly flew out of the office and down the hall. She
banged her head against the elevator door and willed Spike
to fall out of her mind. As soon as she walked out onto the
street and the damp New York air hit her in the face, Buffy let
out a cleansing breath. She let their car know that Spike
would be down at some point and she told him she was
going to hail a cab. She'd put one foot down on the street and
had started to raise her hand to hail one, when a strong hand
clamped down on her arm and pulled her back on the curb.
She came face to face with a less than thrilled Spike.

"You're not going anywhere, Goldilocks," he growled. "I think
it's about time we had ourselves a nice long chat." And then
he slammed his lips against hers.

She pushed at him forcefully. "That's not talking."

"Told you I'd go insane if you didn't kiss me," he told her breathlessly.

"So that's what that was all about?" she asked, gesturing to the entrance of
the building they'd just come from.

"What, what was all about?" he asked, slightly smirking. He would have
been able to pull off the innocent act were it not for that smirk.

She glared at him and stormed off. He grabbed her arm. "I told you, we're
talking."

"Talking? We don't talk Spike, we argue and yell and scream, but we don't
talk."

"Not true and you know it. You just like to think that to make yourself feel
better. You hide behind it, erecting those walls because you're afraid to let
me in."

"Oh please, enlighten me Obi Wan. Why would I ever be afraid to let YOU
in?" She asked him sarcastically.

He moved closer, so they were nearly touching.

"Because you love me and it scares the shit out of you," he growled. "Why
else do you think you don't love Angel? Because it's me, baby, it's always
been me."

"You're really full of yourself," she hissed.

"It's inevitable Buffy," his voice soothing and soft now. He trailed a finger
up and down her arm and started to leave small kisses along her jaw. "Does
Angel make you melt the way I do?"

Harmony floated in Buffy's rapidly muddled mind and she shoved at him.
He looked stunned by the gesture. The heavens opened up then and rain
came pelting down on them. Rumbling was heard in the distance.

"You claim to love me and yet you flirt shamelessly with Harmony. You
don't love me, you love your ego. You just want it be stroked that much
more by getting me, the unattainable."

Spike threw his hands up in the air. "I was trying to make you jealous, you
daft bint! Do you think I care a lick about that ditz in there?"

"You dated her!"

"In fucking high school!"

"You still dated her!" She screamed.

"When are you going to stop clinging to everything that happened in
fucking high school and see me as I am now Buffy? I've changed; you just
refuse to see it because it makes you feel safer to think I haven't!"

"You've changed? I don't thinks so. You're still the only one I know that
can drive me completely insane!"

"Why do you think that is huh?" He pressed, moving up against her once
again. "Could it possibly be because we have heat and passion—"

"That stuff never lasts. It burns out eventually."

Spike shook his head. "Not like our heat Buffy. No one can make me burn
like you do. Trust me, I've tried. You're the match to my gasoline."

"You're rude and demanding, you have to possibly be the most persistent
person I've ever met in my life—" Buffy started on her tirade.

"Not true. You're pretty persistent too. You're so determined to get what
you want; you don't stop until you get it. Why can't I be on that list of
things you want?" He cocked his head to the side, a tender soft expression
on his handsome face. Buffy was trying to ignore it. Trying to ignore that
she'd seen that look many times if she dared admit it.

"You're not safe," she told him honestly.

"You think I'd hurt you?"

"Oh yes. I think you would. I don't trust you," she whispered.

"I'd never hurt you," he told her fiercely. "Just let yourself go. Let yourself
love me," his words now fell on a pleading whisper.

"I-I don't l-love you," she stammered, her teeth now chattering with rain
pouring down on them.

"Let's get you inside, all right pet? Don't need my girl getting sickly on me."
Wrapping an arm around her, he guided her to the waiting car and ushered
her in. "Get you warm and all snuggled in your beddy by," he murmured
as he started to strip off her soaking jacket that was clinging to her body
like a second skin.

Buffy let her head fall back against the seat and she closed her eyes. She
felt completely drained. She felt as if she were on emotional overload.
Never in her life had she felt as if she'd run a gamut of emotions in such a
short span of time. Sadness, worry, lust, jealousy, anger and shock. All
packed in two days, all intense. She felt his hand caressing the side of her
face and popped an eye open to look up at him. He smiled sweetly at her
and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I want to go home," she murmured on a whine.

"Soon enough, kitten, soon enough."

She rolled her head to look out the window. "No, not soon enough. Friday
night would have been soon enough."

"Now now, kitten. I know you had a good time traipsing all over New York
with me," he said calmly as he rubbed up and down her arm.

Buffy didn't respond. Instead she let the soothing motion of his hands on
her and the movement of the car lull her to sleep.



Buffy's eyes popped open and she found herself staring into blackness.
Where was she? Oh yeah. The hotel room. Bitterly disappointed that she
wasn't in her own room and that she hadn't dreamt the whole godforsaken
weekend, she rolled over to her side and found the clock radio glaring red at
her. Three a. m. She furrowed her brow. How did she end up in her bed
from the car? Spike. He must have carried her. She must really have been
exhausted to sleep through that. She took note that her clothes were all in
tact, the only article taken off were her shoes. Rolling on her back again,
she stared up at the ceiling.



FLASHBACK



"Uh, I'm sorry Buffy. I gotta cancel our date tonight."

Buffy looked up, crushed, at Owen as he stood there shifting from foot to
foot. She felt herself deflate. She'd had a crush on Owen since fifth grade
and he'd finally taken notice of her and asked her out. She'd been looking
forward to their date for a week. She'd been shopping, spending her hard
earned money from her retail job, to buy a new outfit for the night. She'd
commiserated over the phone with her best friend all about the date. And
now he was canceling? On the night of the date no less!

"Why?" she asked, trying to keep the disappointment from her voice.

"I uh, have stuff to do. I got a project due Monday and I promised my
parents I'd stay in and work on it."

"On a Friday night? All night? You have the whole weekend." Okay Buffy,
stop sounding so desperate.

"Sorry," and he shuffled away, joining his friends. They started to laugh
and Owen seemed to be shushing them just as they walked away. Now she
was suspicious. Was she a joke? A laughing stock? Was she now the butt of
everyone's jokes? And why? Sure she wasn't among the ‘popular' crowd,
but she had a lot of friends and never got any slack from anyone.

Xander came running up to her, out of breath a minute later. He was
gesturing wildly at her as he tried to catch his breath.

"Should we do charades?" Buffy joked. "Sounds like?"

"Did Owen just cancel your date?"

Buffy's grin faded, "yeah."

"I know why."

"Oh?"

"I was walking past them and his friends were teasing him—"

"Why? Am I rancid or something?"

"No! God, of course not Buffy! I uh, think someone planted a bug in Owen's
ear."

"About?"

"You having female AND male parts."

Buffy's jaw dropped and it was at that moment she caught sight of Spike,
sauntering across the quad, a smirk on his face. He looked over at her and
waved before continuing on.

"Where would he get an idea like that Buffy?" Xander asked.

Buffy glared at Spike's retreating form. "I think I have an idea."



END FLASHBACK



"Buffy what are you doing?" Spike asked, trying to focus in the darkened
room. He'd awoken to Buffy, standing at the foot of his bed, staring down at
him.

"You told Owen I had a penis didn't you?" she demanded.

Spike blinked at her. Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was 3:30 a.m. He
flicked the light on and leaned up on his elbows. "You woke up thinking of
that?"

"Did you?"

He nodded, "I did."

"Did you know that I'd had a crush on him since the fifth grade? Do you
know how incredible it feels to have the boy of your dreams ask you out
after you've been crushing on them for five years?"

"Well, if it's anything like being in love with you since sophomore year of
high school and never being able to be close to you, I think I have an idea."

She folded her arms across her chest, appearing unmoved by his
declaration. "He could have been the one. He could have been the one and
you ruined it for me. What's worse? You didn't even fess up when I asked
you about it. Instead, you made it off as someone else spread the ugly
rumor."

Spike crawled out of bed, chuckling as she averted her eyes from his naked
form. He slipped on a pair of boxers. "Well, couldn't have you finding out I
had something to do with it, Goldilocks. Sides, as far as him being the one?
He very well could be if you did have a penis."

"Huh?"

"I ran into wonder boy in San Francisco while I was out in California. He's
gay, Buffy."

She faltered. "Really?"

Spike nodded, grinning at her stunned expression. "That what got you up
at this hour? Wondering if I told Owen you had a penis?"

She fidgeted, seeming to suddenly realize how ridiculous that was. "Well.
Yeah." She paused, "among other things," she muttered.

"Oh? What sorts of other things?"

He wasn't sure if she realized her gaze immediately darted to his crotch.
He felt it rise at the unspoken admission.

"Why pet, you have a naughty side to you, don't you?"

She was beet red now. She started for the door and then stopped. She
turned to him, a determined expression on her beautiful face. It was the
same face she had when she ran for Class President, started a fundraiser
for the homeless Senior Year, and was elected Valedictorian in their
graduating class.

"I've come to a conclusion."

"Oh?" he was intrigued by this.

"I do want you," she stated matter of factly.

His penis swelled to full size at those words. "And?" he asked throatily.

"I've decided that we should have sex."




Thank you guys so much for the reviews. I'm glad you guysare getting a kick out of this one. It's fun to write!

It was Spike's turn to be speechless. He'd done it to her so many times over the past couple days, he supposed it was only fair. He kept trying to say something, but the words seemed trapped in his throat. And all Buffy could do was stand there and watch him, clearly amused. In a clinical sort of way. As if she had made an hypothesis and was watching the outcome.

Her head cocked to the side watched him. "Now you get to impersonate a guppy. I'm impressed, I have to say. Didn't think I could actually render you speechless."

"Did you mean it?" He finally managed. "Did you mean it or were you just trying to make me speechless?"

"Oh, I meant it."

"You think we should make love."

She shook her head, a small grin turning the corners of her mouth. "Not
‘make love'. Sex. Just sex."

Spike was finally starting to regain thought. He nodded slowly. "Sex. Just
sex."

"Right. You get what you want, I get what I want and it's done."

"I have a feeling that what I want and what you want is different here.
Why don'tyou explain it to me?"

"Well, I figured it'd be pretty easy to understand. You always said you
were a simple man. Why don't you figure it out?"

"Right, so, how well do I know Buffy Summers? Pretty well, I think. So let me wager a guess on what you're thinking. You think that I ultimately want your body, because that is, according to your warped thought process, all I want in the first place right?"

"Right. And because I'm unattainable to you, it strokes your ego that you
‘got' me for a night."

"And then, there's you." He smirked and walked towards her, started
circling her as she stood ramrod straight. "You want me," he leaned in and
whispered huskily in her ear, smiling at the shiver he saw go through her.
He pulled back. "You figure if you have ‘just sex' with me that will sate your
desire." He stood in front of her. "How'd I do?"

"Excellent."

"Except that it won't. Sate you that is. You'll want more."

She sneered at him. "Don't flatter yourself."

"The simple fact that you're standing here right now offering this to me is
flattery enough. I didn't know robots could feel."

"Funny, I didn't know pompous, arrogant assholes could either. I guess
that makes us even," she snarked back without missing a beat.

He put a hand over his chest. "I'm wounded luv. That hurt." His smirk
spoke otherwise.

"I'm sure."

"And Angel?"

"This is. . . think of it as a science project. If my calculations are right,
which they usually are, we'll walk away from this satisfied and ready to go
on with our lives. I will of course have to ask Cordy to reassign you to
someone else. I feel that as soon as we have sex, I will be able to engage in
my relationship with Angel freer than I am now."

"No."

She faltered, "What?"

"No. I won't have sex with you Buffy. I don't want to have sex with you. I
want to make love to you."

"Please. You're a guy. Next you're gonna tell me you like to cuddle."

"I DO like to cuddle," he told her, leaning in close.

"Fine. I'll have sex. You can make love. Satisfied?"

"Nope. I want you Buffy. I want you so much I can barely see straight half
the time, but the reason I want you so much—aside from that luscious
body—is because I'm in love with you. I've never loved any of the girls I've
had sex with Buffy. It's always been about you, pet. I couldn't give myself
to anyone else but you. So I know that when I finally do make love with
you, it's going to be amazing. Just holding you in my arms and kissing you is
better than any hug or kiss I've ever had with anyone. Because it's you.
And, in order for us to make love, I need you there with me. I need you making love to me too. I won't settle for anything less."

She walked away from him and he followed her. "Do you ever get told no, pet?"

She spun to him. "Yes, as a matter of fact I have. I don't like it."

"How ever are you going to handle it?"

She smirked saucily at him and opened her mouth to say something then
clamped it shut. She straightened and then shrugged, letting out a sigh.

"Normally I would say I would just have to try harder, but I guess in this instance I can't. I'll just have to accept it. It's not like I'm starved for sex anyway. I know Angel has missed me and will probably ravish—"

Spike let out a growl of frustration and hauled her up against him, devouring her mouth with his. He dove his hands in her hair as he nibbled, sucked and made love to her with his mouth. He could feel her hardened nipples through her cami brushing against his hard chest and it spurred him on. He pulled back, letting them catch their breath.

"You're mine," he told her through clenched teeth. "You think after I've had a taste of you I'm just going to let you go? I'm going to be around so much, all you're ever going to see with those beautiful eyes is me. All you'll hear is me. All you'll want. Is. Me. But you don't have to worry baby, because I'll be right there with you. Everywhere I go, everything I do. . . it's all about you." Unwinding one hand, he let it trail down her cheek, her neck, her collarbone and then he cupped her breast in his hand, flicking his thumb across her nipple, making it harder, making it beg for his attention.
Her eyes were half mass as she gazed into his stormy blue eyes. Leaning in he swept his tongue along the bottom of her lip before claiming her mouth once more. He pulled her closer against him and let her feel how aroused he was. They were a perfect fit, he nestled himself right between her legs and he caught a whiff of her arousal. He wanted nothing more than spread her out on the bed and taste her moist center and then make love to her. He couldn't though. She admitted she wanted him, but that wasn't enough. He wanted her love and he wasn't going to stop until he got it.

"Don't you dare touch him, Buffy," he whispered against her lips. "If you touch him at all with the intent of having SEX with him, I'll tell Cordy you punched me. Do you understand me?"

Her shove was his answer.

She glared at him, chest heaving. "You wouldn't."

"Touch him and find out."

"I hate you. Get out of my room."

Trying not to let her words sting him, he held up his hands in surrender and walked back to his room, trying not let his knees buckle under him. He shut the door firmly behind him and closed his eyes. "Good job Spike."





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Spike opened his eyes slowly, taking the time to stretch. He'd had a hard time going to back to sleep last night after he and Buffy had it out. Again. He grinned to himself. At least she'd admitted that she wanted him. It was better than ignoring the fact that he was a man at all. He sat up, lighting a cigarette and mulling over events from the night before. He chuckled to himself as he remembered her demanding to know if he'd made up that lie to Owen.

Of course he had.

How else would he have kept the wuss away from his girl? He knew she would have eventually figured it out; it wasn't as if he was exactly trying to hide it from her. He just wanted her to ask him why. If she had asked him, he would have told her it was because Owen – along with all the other schmucks she dated – were not worthy of her. They were peons and she was a Goddess. And all he wanted was to be with her, to be counted worthy by her. To have her love.

He supposed in some circles denying her ‘sex' was an outrageous mistake. The thing was though, Spike had sex before. He'd never made love though. He had an inkling that Buffy never had either. He wanted her all right, but he wanted every part of her. He wanted her ire, her sadness, her courage, her wit, her intelligence. Most off all, he wanted her love. He always felt the sparks when they were around each other. They crackled and sizzled and lit up the air around them. How she had managed not to see it after all these years was beyond him.

But, she was now. She was starting to anyway. He was burrowing under her skin in the most delicious way and he wasn't going to stop until her reached her heart and nestled there. It was only fair. She'd nestled her way in a long time ago and she hadn't ever left. And, he didn't want her to.

Buffy sat on the edge of her hotel bed, fuming. Her leg was bouncing up and down as her heel repeatedly tapped the floor beneath her. She shot a glare to the adjoining door. He'd tell Cordy if she had sex with Angel. . . please! He wouldn't. . . would he? She rolled her eyes. She actually wouldn't put it past him. The man had told Owen she was a hermaphrodite for crying out loud! And that was lying! Unfortunately, he did have the evidence to prove she'd punched him. She could lie about it . . . how pointless was that? The first words out of her mouth when he'd been assigned to her were that she'd kill him. Cordy would believe him in a heartbeat. Then she'd be fired, banned from working as a publicist for the rest of her life no doubt.

"Arrghh!" Buffy growled. "Damn you Spike Marsters. Damn you and your snarky mouth and your witty comebacks and . . . " and your smile and your kiss and the way you make my body sing. . . "God, what has he done to me? I've turned into a horn ball. What's worse? I can't do anything to fix it. He just had to go on about ‘making love'. Why can't he just want sex like every other man in the world?"

She stared at the door, waiting for answer. He SEEMED like such a typical man. And yet, there was something about Spike that just wasn't. His refusal of sake for the sake of love. Who would have guessed! She thought she'd had the perfect plan. She didn't even think she would have to seduce him—Wait. Seduce him. He'd already plainly shown her how crazy he was for her touch. Hadn't he said he'd go crazy if he didn't kiss her? She thought she could make him jealous and spur him to have sex with her that way. Mark his territory and all that crap. But no. She was going about it the wrong way. She just had to seduce him. Seduce him until he was putty in her hands.

Unbeknownst to Spike, he'd thrown the gauntlet down last night when he'd refused her. Now, she not only wanted to have sex with him to free him from her system, but she wanted to prove that she could make him cave.

And by God, she would.



"Spike, do you have any more shampoo? I've run out."

Spike looked up from packing his suitcase and promptly dropped his jaw. Buffy, Golden Goddess Buffy Summers was standing innocently in his room by his bed in nothing but a fluffy white towel wrapped around her exquisite body. His hands were itching to touch that expanse of skin at her collarbone and run his tongue along the bone. He wanted to see if he sucked on her neck, just right, she'd moan for him. He ached to see if her legs were as silky smooth as they appeared. His mouth dry, he could only stare, frozen.

She gave him a funny look. "Right. I'll just check myself," and off she went into his bathroom. He followed.

"Goldilocks, what are you doing?"

"Told you. Getting shampoo. Have any?"

"Yeah, I. . . Yeah. I have some in my bag, I used up. . . why are you in my
room in a towel?"

"I was about to start my shower and realized I ran out. I figured you
wouldn't mind."

He raked his eyes up and down her form. "Anytime, luv."

"Thanks!" she said brightly and started for the door. Turning back around,
she sidled up to him, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Too bad you didn't want me last night. We could have shared a shower this morning. . . " She glided a finger up his bare arm and across his chest, grazing his nipples as she spoke. "Our wet, naked, grinding, writing bodies against the slick shower wall." She sucked on her bottom lip and moaned. "Hmm…makes me so wet just thinking about it."

Spike was having a hell of a time reigning in his raging libido. His stomach clenched and fluttered, his head dizzy with her sweet fragrance . . . she was going to kill him. Looking down at her it hit him that that was just what she had in mind. So, kitten wanted to play huh? Thought she could seduce him into having sex with her. Well, two could play that game.

Leaning forward, he took an earlobe in his mouth and nibbled on it, taking delight in the gasp that escaped her lips. Reaching down, he played with the hem of the towel and soothed circles in her thighs. Then, he put his mouth where he'd been itching to put it since she'd walked in and to his pleasure, she did moan. A deep throaty moan that left him wanting more.

Yet, he couldn't. This was play time.

"I'd love to have your gorgeous body against mine, making me hard, making me ache. To have you wrapped around me as I drove into your wet pussy . . . feel you cum all around me . . . squeeze me . . . "

She was panting lightly, and he knew she didn't realize it. "I could take you right there, against that wall and make you scream my name . . . make you beg for more . . . You would know what I meant when I said I love you by the time I was done." He pulled back, took in her eyes half massed with desire as she looked up at him, the want plainly written on her face.

"Buffy," he whispered.

"Mmmm?"

"Don't you wish I would?"

Her eyes snapped open and she shoved him. Again. He laughed as he heard
the door slam and then groaned when he realized his soldier had indeed risen to the occasion and was again left wanting. Yep, time for another session with Palmela.

If Buffy could have, she would have taken off to the airport without him. Her pride was bruised and the last thing she wanted to do was be around the man who'd rejected her. The man who claimed to love her, rejected her.
However, Buffy was a fighter, resilient if anything else and she would not back down. No, instead she'd hold her head high. And completely ignore him. She rolled her eyes as she started to walk down the hall to the elevator, suitcase in hand. She hated how childish he made her. She was an adult dammit!

She just needed to regroup, that's all. She'd get him. If it was the last thing she did, she'd get him.

"Buffy, wait up!"

She turned to see Spike jogging down the hall to catch up with her. She felt
something inside her melt as she watched him. He looked like such a little
boy running to her at that moment. He was without the trademark black
that he used to make up his ‘image', he was without the duster she'd added
to his ‘image' and without his slicked back hair. Instead, he wore blue jeans,
a blue t shirt that brought out his eyes – she could see them from where
she stood, they were so vibrant – and his hair was springy with curls. She
had a brief image pop in her mind of waking up next to those springy curls.

If only he'd let her.

"You going to get the door? Or do you want to wait for the next one?"

Huh? She flipped her head to the elevator and immediately jutted her arm
out to catch the closing door. He helped her jar it open and in they went.

He was smirking as if he knew she had been caught up in staring at him. He knew. He had to know. God, she wanted to hit him again. ‘I hate him, I hate him, I hate him,' she kept saying to herself over and over.

"So the plan is to not talk to me then?"

"You know what; I just need a break okay? I just need to not talk to you or
have you talk to me. Just until we get back home. No, scratch that. Just
until tomorrow okay?" she told him, aggravated.

He sighed. "Listen Buffy, I know your ego's bruised right now. Join the
friggen club. Do you have any idea how you've made me feel over the
years?"

That stung for some reason. As if she didn't want to be the cause for his
bruised ego. Well, half of her did and the other, surprised half didn't.

To cover up though, she muttered, "I don't want to talk about it."

"You can't hide from it, or me. Do you plan on just sweeping it under the
rug along with everything else?" he demanded.

The doors pinged open. "As a matter of fact, yes," and she bolted out the
door.

"Buffy—"

"Hey, watch where you're going,"

She turned her head to see that Spike had knocked into someone.

"Sorry, mate."

"I'm not your mate numb nuts. Apologize."

Buffy froze at the same time Spike did. Uh-oh. His jaw started to clench.
Not good. Jaw clenching Spike meant ‘I'm gonna pummel him' Spike.

"Ah crap," she muttered and started for them.

"Excuse me?" Spike asked darkly.

"I said apologize. What? Are you British and retarded?"

Buffy's eyebrows flew off her head and her jaw dropped. What the hell was
wrong with this guy?

Spike was going to kill him; she could see it on his face as he started for the
guy. Dropping her suitcase, she ran to them. Spike stood in front of him,
staring him down. Buffy's heart was pounding in her chest. The guy was
HUGE. He'd knock Spike into next week!

"You should watch your mouth, wanker," Spike seethed.

The guy pushed him and Spike was backed up a bit. Buffy chose that
moment to step in between them.

"Why don't you just turn around and walk away?" She told the big man in
front of her.

"He your man?"

Funny you should ask.

"Yes." What Buffy? What was that?

"Then tell your man not to be so rude."

"He said ‘excuse me'. You're the one being the flaming asshole about it!"

"Shut the fuck up bitch," he said, condescendingly.

Buffy heard an inhuman roar behind her and then everything went so fast,
she didn't have time to react. The next thing she knew, she was being
pushed aside and Spike punched the huge guy right across the face.

"Don't you dare talk like that to her!" He yelled.

She watched in horror as the man fell to the side, regained balance and
lunged at Spike. Being that the guys hands were larger than Spike entire
head, she was concerned he was going to pop his head off. Without thinking,
Buffy jumped on the guys back and started kicking and hitting him.

"Buffy!" Spike shouted to her in a mixture of shock and horror.

The guys arms were flailing and he was yelling at her to get off. She felt herself being lifted off him at the same time his huge arm swung back and smacked her across the face. Her head was knocked to the side by the force of it and a second later, her nose was throbbing. Her eyes widened as she was pulled away.

Then Spike was in front of her, his face full of concern. "Buffy," he was
saying forcefully, trying to get her attention. Her focus was on the guy
talking with security, animatedly. She started to lunge after him and Spike
grabbed her around the waist, stopping her. "Nope. Sorry Champ. Not
going to be anymore fighting today. Let's get that nose looked at, it's
swellin' a bit."

"I can't believe that asshole!" She shouted. Heads were turning. Spike
grabbed her and hoisted her over his shoulder. "Can you help me with the bags?" He asked one of the hotel attendants who went scrambling after their stuff.

"You're an asshole!" She yelled at the guy who had now turned and was
glaring at her. "Yeah, that's right. You! You . . . big bully! That'll teach you
to mess with me and my boyfriend!" She was carried into a room and the door swung shut behind her.

Spike slid her down to the ground.

"Can you believe him? You said ‘excu—"

He pressed a finger to her lips. "Ssshhh kitten. It's all done now."

She gazed up at him, mouth shut, and nodded.

He gently touched the side of her face and she winced. "You all right? Does
it hurt bad?"

"Stings," she murmured. "Is my nose huge?"

Smiling softly, Spike shook his head.

"Here's some ice, sir."

Grabbing the ice from the attendant, and not taking his eyes off Buffy for a
second, he pressed it gently against her cheek.

"That better my little warrior?" he murmured gently and combed his
fingers through her tangled hair.

She nodded mutely, the adrenaline starting to leave her. She faintly heard
the door swing and noted the attendant must have left. She looked up at
Spike who was watching her intently, tenderly.

"Are you hurt?" she asked him.

"Nope, not a scratch. Can't say the same for him though. Didn't expect you
to jump on his back," he chuckled.

She let out a giggle. "I didn't expect it either. I kind of wasn't thinking. Just
reacting. I saw him going for you and I was afraid he was going to kill you,"
she shuddered.

"Didn't know you cared, pet," he murmured, grazing a kiss across her
forehead.

"Well, I look at it this way. You can be a numb nuts. But you're my numb
nuts and if someone's going to be punching you, it's going to be me."

Spike laughed loudly. "Oh Kitten. My little kitten with claws. I know what
you mean. You're a bitch, but you're my bitch and if anyone is going to be
calling you that, it's gonna be me."

Buffy couldn't help but laugh, feeling the tension of the fight drain out of
her. Then her eyes widened. "Our flight! We've got to go!" She started for the door, flinging the ice pack away.

Spike grabbed her arm and brought her back to him. "No, no no. You need
that," he handed her the ice pack back.

"Spike I'm fine. I'll take the ice pack, but we have to go. I don't want to be
here anymore. I just want to go home. Please." She didn't care that she was
pleading, she just wanted to GO.

He nodded, looking a bit stung. "All right," and he started for the door.

She grabbed his arm, stopping him.

"What kitten?"

"Thank you," she told him, simply and yet earnestly.

Brushing a kiss against her lips gently he whispered, "thank you back."
And she let him. She let because . . . because she couldn't think of a good
reason not to let him at that point.

A/N: Having tons of fun with this one! LOL

A/N: Hey guys! Thanks so much for the reviews! I'm glad to hear from you all :) Great inspiration to hear from you. Hope you enjoy the installment!


Spike looked over at Buffy as she stared out the plane window. "Buffy?"

"Yeah?

"Can you look at me, pet?"

She looked at him, expressionless. "What?"

Gently putting his finger under her chin, he turned her head so he could
see how her cheek was doing. It wasn't as red anymore and whatever swelling her nose had undergone, was fine now.

"I was ready to kill him," Spike murmured.

"I know. And I was afraid he was going to kill you, that's why I jumped on
him."

"Can't believe you did that," Spike chuckled, and then quickly turned
somber. "And when I saw him hit you. . . I was torn between making sure
you were okay and clocking him for that."

"I'm glad you chose me. That would have been a big mess for me to clean
up after."

"Always choose you, pet," Spike told her softly.

"Yeah, well," she sighed and turned back to the window.

"Buffy, I'm sorry if I gave you a hard time this weekend. I realize my
actions haven't exactly been, well, conducive to romance."

She turned back to him, eyebrows raised. "Ya think?"

"In all fairness, you haven't exactly been sweetness and light either. How
do you think it feels when I tell you I love you and you yell at me for it?"

"Spike. . . do you have any idea how hard you made this on me? I mean. . .
I've known you for years. Most of that time you spent, oh, I don't know,
telling my potential dates that I was a hermaphrodite. Then all of a sudden
out of the clear blue sky, you tell me you're in love with me and have been
since high school. How did you think I was going to react? Did you think I
would welcome you with open arms?"

"You admitted you wanted to have sex with me," he pointed out.

"Why don't you speak a little louder, I don't think the pilot heard you," she
told him dryly. "This is what I mean Spike. You don't think. You just. . . DO.
I'm not like that, and I don't know that I can be with someone like that."

"See? You said you didn't know, as if you weren't sure—"

"Spike," she said, annoyed. "Stop. Okay? Just stop. You just need to give it
a rest."

"I can't. I'm sorry Buffy, but I can't. I've held this inside me for so long . . .
I can't let it go now. Not after you admitted to me that you, uh," his voice
dropped to a whisper, "desired me."

"Exactly. Desired you. Not love. Not what you want, remember?"

"The way I see it pet? It has to start somewhere."

She rolled her eyes and sat back on a sigh. "I'm sorry I ever said
anything."

He fell silent for a long time. So long Buffy thought he'd shut up for good.

"I'll stop. For now. " he said quietly.

She was stunned. He was stopping just like that? "What's the catch?" she
asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"No catch. I want you to be happy Princess. And if its me getting under
your skin, then I'll give you some space."

"So no more driving me nuts?"

"Nope."

"Yeah. We'll see how long that lasts."

"Buffy," he reprimanded.

"You said I knew you well," she told him, tossing him a knowing look. "And
I do. Which means Spike Marsters might be quiet for a little while, but it
never lasts."

"Guess I'm gonna have to prove you wrong pet," he told her, puffing his
chest and sitting up straight.

She giggled at him. "I guess so."

"Got you to laugh," he pointed at her.

Buffy shook her head and giggled some more.

"I mean, he was all unconscious—"

"Kitten, he wasn't unconscious."

Buffy looked up at him as they walked into the terminal. "When I tell the
story he will be."

Spike let out an uproarious laugh that had Buffy laughing with him.

"Buffy!"

Both blondes swiveled to see – Angel.

Buffy gulped. She'd forgotten about him. How had she forgotten about
him? She felt about an inch tall at that moment. It had felt like so long since
she'd seen him. She felt as if she'd lived a lifetime in two days. She moved
forward, not wanting to look at Spike. Afraid of what she might see. Angel
enveloped her in a bear hug and lifted her off the ground.

"Did you get my message?" he asked.

"Yup. I didn't think you'd be here."

Angel shrugged. "Wanted to surprise you."

"It worked."

"You didn't call me back. Were you very busy?"

"Ya-huh." Guilt, loud and clear.

"I missed you."

She smiled and hugged him, intentionally sidestepping the kiss he was
about to offer her.

"Can I talk to you for a minute Buffy? I need to go over something with
you."

Buffy pulled back at the sound of Spike's strained voice. Angel let her down
and she righted her clothes. "Uh yeah. Is it about the um, the thing we
talked about at the interview?"

Spike just nodded, his eyes boring into hers.

"Uh, Angel, can you—"

"I'll meet you over at baggage claim," Angel nodded.

"Thanks," she smiled and started off, looking over her shoulder for Angel
who was making his way to the escalator. He was soon enveloped in the
crowd.

Spike, meanwhile, grabbed her hand and led her through the crowd.

"Spike, where are we going?"

He didn't answer her, but continued on. An empty hallway loomed ahead
and Spike dragged her down it. Finding a hidden little doorway, he tugged
her in with him.

"Spike, I didn't know he—" she was cut off by his lips on hers, demanding,
pushing, claiming.

She put her hands on his chest to stop him, wanting to tell him that she
didn't know he was going to be there, but thoughts soon left her head. He
lifted her in his arms a second later, and smooshed her against the door as
he kissed her.

He broke away, leaving them gasping for air and rested his forehead
against hers. "Buffy, Buffy, Buffy," and he leaned in again, capturing her
before she could speak or even gain a coherent thought.

"Don't sleep with him, please," he told her hoarsely when they came up for
air again.

She blinked at him, unable to process anything due to the heat trail blazing
in her body due to Spike and his expert lips.

His lips dribbled down the side of her face, leaving small, soft kisses at the
place she'd been smacked earlier, to her ear which he nibbled and trailed
with his tongue, causing her to shiver. Then down to her neck where he bit
lightly then nuzzled. "Please, don't. . . I won't tell Cordy if you do," he
looked up at her then, meeting her dazed eyes. "I'm begging you Buffy.
Please, don't sleep with him. I'll go insane if you do. It'd kill me pet."

She swallowed and licked her lips. An invitation for Spike to lunge in again
and kiss her senseless. Oh God the things that mouth could do – her
imagination ran wild and she felt a rush of liquid between her legs. She felt
as if she could have an orgasm just from his kiss alone! The kiss that was
devouring her whole. She could feel him, hard, against her.

"I love you so much," he whispered, sounding almost pained.

She leaned in and kissed him softly, and she opened her eyes to see his shocked ones staring back at her. She pulled her head back. "We have to get back."

He nodded and slid her to the floor. He took her hand in his and started to
silently lead her out of the hallway. He stopped suddenly and grabbed her
in a hug and kiss. Releasing her once again, they finally made it back to
civilization.

Buffy felt dizzy and as soon as she saw the words ‘baggage claim'
emblazoned on a sign, she started to come back to reality.

What the hell is going on? She thought as she stepped onto the escalator
with Spike and peered down to see Angel with her bags in hand, grinning up
at her. What the hell am I doing?

Spike watched as Buffy left with Angel. It tore him two and filled him with such jealousy and rage, he was torn between sobbing and ripping Angel's arms off for touching his girl.

Not his girl.

Yet.

Their talk on the plan had been enlightening. Spike had seen it all from her perspective. He had to admit. . . she was right. To a point anyway. He HAD expected her to fall into his arms after his outburst of love for her. But, what had he done to earn it? He had made her life hell, but only because she didn't pay any attention to him otherwise. It was a vicious circle. She ignored him, he tormented her, she yelled at him, and he yelled back, she ignored him again. And so it went on and on. Those few times they'd gotten along had been pleasant interludes along the way. Times when he wasn't tormenting her and driving her round the bend. Those were the times she was kind to him, reciprocated his friendliness. Spike had been struck with the revelation that he needed to show her more of those times. Those interludes needed to be more than just that. They needed to be all the time—well, as much as they could have. This was still them. Arguing was something they did so well. But, it didn't have to be the only component to their relationship. He needed to SHOW her that he loved her. He had to bring those moment to the forefront and instead of inspiring her ire, he needed to inspire her trust and love.

He recalled the time in the limo when they'd first kissed. They'd been
recounting a time when they'd talked, truly talked. A time when he'd been
there for her, when he'd supported her and took her out of gloom and self-
pity. It was time to have more of those moments. If he showed her
properly how much he loved her, she'd come to love him too.

Wouldn't she?

So, instead of carrying on with his threat of telling Cordy if she slept with
Angel, he instead begged her not to sleep with him. Begged her heart to see
that he could hold onto it and never hurt it. He begged her to see that he
truly loved her and would do anything to show her that. Even if it meant
seeing her leave with Angel.

He'd been ready to take her against the wall. He knew he couldn't, despite
how desperately he wanted to. She'd been ready for him to do so, he knew
that for certain. He hoped by kissing her senseless, she would be filled with
him and only him. He prayed she would see that it was him, and only him,
that could move her to such passion. After all, hadn't she already admitted
that she didn't love Angel?

So, now it was Operation Woo Buffy. He just hoped he didn't go nuts with
worrying about what Buffy was doing with Angel in the meantime. He'd
meant it when he said it'd kill him if she slept with him. After all the kisses,
all the passion and heat they'd shared over the weekend, he'd be
devastated. He was steps closer to being with his Buffy, he couldn't lose her
now.

He just didn't know how to go about this without totally mucking it up.
Time to call in reinforcements.



Xander stared at Spike in open astonishment. Spike just glared at him.
Pointing at him and giving him what he hoped was a menacing enough
glare, he warned the whelp not to breathe a damn word. Not even to his
live in girlfriend, Anya.

"I can't believe you finally told her. And in a strip club no less!" Xander
exclaimed.

"Could you keep your voice down?" Spike grumbled.

"I'm just so stunned. I always thought. . . "

"Thought what?" Spike asked, cocking his head to the side.

Xander shrugged. "Figured you would have gotten over it by now. I mean,
it's been over ten years now Spike."

"I'm acutely aware, trust me," Spike mumbled, sipping his beer. He looked
back up at his best friend. "But no, I haven't gotten over it. I never will get
over it. I knew it from the moment I laid eyes on Buffy Summers. She's the
one for me. The only one."

"Wow," Xander said in awe.

"I know," Spike nodded.

"She's turned you into such a girl."

Spike glared at Xander as his friend erupted in laughter. "You think you
could give me some tips? Anya would be bowled over by that crap."

"It's not crap. It's the truth. You telling me you don't feel that way for
Anya?" Spike demanded, watching Xander over his bottle.

Xander looked down, "I do." He looked back up at his friend. "But I've
been going out with her for a while now. Not carrying a big ol' torch for ten

years. There is a subtle difference."

"I'm aware. And so is she. Which is why I need your help."

"You're asking ME?" Xander asked in astonishment.

"I know. I can't believe it either. Might bring on a bloody apocalypse."

"Hey!"

"But, you've known us since high school. You know me, you know Buffy.
You know how to keep a bird happy, though I'm sure I still don't know
what she sees in you," Spike grinned.

"Did you want my help or. . .?" Xander asked dryly.

"Sorry whelp. Have to get my shots in when I can."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, being that I do know Buffy, LONGER than you I
might add, I would say that you need to back off just a touch. Don't
overwhelm her. That freaks her out."

"Yeah," Spike wrinkled his nose. "Got that message loud and clear. Do you
think leading her off and asking her not to sleep with Angel was too much?"

"Hard to say. How did she seem?"

Spike smiled at the memory. "She kissed me, all on her own once."

"So, you got her hot and bothered?"

"Yes, I'm sure of it."

"So, you got her hot and bothered and sent her off with her boyfriend."

Spike's eyes widened in horror. "Fuck! What the hell was I thinking?"

Xander started to laugh. "Relax buddy."

Spike bolted up from his chair, slamming his beer down with such force,
liquid spilled from the top. "I'm going to go see her, make sure she –"

"Spike. Sit down. You running over there will not help matters. She'll think
you're checking up on her—"

"I would be checking up on her!"

"And how did she react when you told her not to sleep with Angel or you'd
have her fired?"

Spike slumped back down in his seat. "She said she hated me," he
muttered.

"I think you should give her a couple days."

"What?" Spike asked, thinking that was crazy. It'd only been one
excruciatingly long day since he'd seen her and already he was going out of
his bloody mind. He missed her. Spending two whole days with her, just
her, had him wanting more. He'd stopped himself from calling, giving her
time to rest and think. . . but it was bloody killing him and now the whelp
figured a couple more days of this?

"Give her a couple days. Let the weekend sink in, let what happened
marinate and have time to set. Give her time to miss you. Then go see her.
Surprise her. Don't shower her with gifts, she doesn't respond to that, don't
do grand romantic gestures – "

"Damn, there goes the sky writing I had planned."

"Smart ass. Did you want my help or not?"

"I do. You're doing great. Really great. I just might go mad not seeing her
for so long."

"I don't get it man. You always had luck with the ladies. Always knew the
moves, the right things to say. Now with Buffy, it's like all of that know how
left. What happened?"

Spike grinned. "It's her. And me. Those other girls? They were tarts.
Bimbo's. Most of them were in it for a quick shag, or I was in it for a quick
shag. Buffy's different. She's not only sexy, but she's intelligent. She has a
head on her shoulders and what I want from her is more than a quick shag.
I want forever. So the rules this time are different because she's different. I
just need to prove that to her."

Xander smiled broadly and leaned back in his chair. "Welcome to the
wonderful world of relationships and love Spike. Glad to have you aboard.
And, as your first mate, I say you start remembering all those things about
Buffy from the past and use it to your advantage. You do know the way to
her heart. Probably more than she does. With that knowledge, she'll be
putty in your hands and Angel will be a faint memory."

A/N thank you guys so much for the reviews:)

Buffy sat in her office a couple days later, staring out the window and tapping her pen on the stack of papers in front of her.

Tap, tap, tap, tap. Where was Spike? Tap, tap, tap, tap. Why hadn't he at least called? Tap, tap, tap, tap. Had all of it really happened? Tap, tap, tap, tap. What is he doing right now? Did he find someone else to release his sexual frustration on?

She missed him.

If someone had told her she'd miss Spike after spending an entire weekend
with him – with all the friggen drama they had gone through – she would
have laughed in their face, balked at them. Told them they were out of
their fucking minds. But, no, here she was. Missing him. In fact, he'd been
on her mind since their ‘light the world on fire' kiss(es) they'd shared upon
arriving home.

And when Angel had initiated sex with her, she'd refused him. Told him
she had her period. Which would work well for about a week. It was the
only thing she could come up with on the spot that would make Angel back
off. All she could hear in her head was Spike pleading with her to not have
sex with him. He didn't threaten her, didn't order her, didn't demand she
not do it. All he did was ask her not to. No, correction, he pleaded with her.
PLEADED. Spike PLEADED. Begged. She was sure if she asked him to get
down his knees and beg her that way, he would have. And, it'd worked
because she couldn't do it with Angel. She felt guilt for even thinking of it.

Lust. And the challenge. Buffy always did like a good challenge. She
snorted. So did Spike apparently.

"What's got you thinking so hard, pet?"


Her head swiveled to see Spike standing in her doorway. She felt a grin tug
at the corner of her mouth despite her trying to keep a neutral face.

"Hi," she greeted him.

"Hi," he walked in, closing the door and sat on her desk, facing her.
"How've you been?"

Confused, scared, lonely for you. Bastard. "Fine. You?"

He seemed to be wrestling with something before just nodding and saying
good.

"I don't have anything for you today. I had some clients that I missed over
the weekend to take care of. A fire to help put out with a colleague – "

"I didn't come by for that Buffy."

"Oh?" she said meekly.

"Buffy. . . "he started and then stopped. He stared at her and she waited,
not moving. Sliding off the desk, he slid down to his knees in front of her on
the floor and cupped her face in his hands. "I've missed you pet. I've missed
you so much I haven't been able to think straight. Did you miss me?"

She didn't want to answer him; she just wanted him to kiss her. Her skin
was already hot for him, her palms were itching, her heart at a gallop. Her
senses seemed flooded by him when he was around and she hated it. She
didn't feel in control. She felt that he had somehow switched the game on
her.

She found herself leaning in to him and stopped herself, breathlessly. "I—I
can't." She pushed at him and stood up on shaky legs. "What are you doing
to me?" she asked on a moan.

"I don't know pet, that's the whole problem. Why don't you tell me?"

"I have a boyfriend," she stated.

"That you don't love. Why are you with him?"

"He's safe," she blurted out.

"Buffy, look at me please."

She shook her head, jutting out her bottom lip in a pout.

Then she felt him behind her, his breath on her neck. She swallowed hard
and didn't move a muscle. Gently, he wrapped his arms around her waist
and pulled her oh so slowly against him. Leaning in, he nuzzled her neck.
"Why can't you look at me?"

She was breathing heavy now, her lids closing at his touch.

"You make me lose all rational thought," she whispered.

He chuckled deeply, the vibrations moving like little shock waves through
her system.

"I know exactly what you mean," he tugged on her earlobe with his teeth.
"Exhilarating ain't it?"

"I hate it," she told him bluntly, finding her voice somehow.

"I'll have to teach you to like it. You can fall Buffy. I'll catch you."

There was a knocking at her door, which had Buffy jumping out of Spike's
arms and moving far away from him.

The door opened and Cordy stood there. "Have you guys done it yet?"

Buffy started to cough.

"Done what?" Spike asked smoothly.

"Killed each other."

Spike chuckled and Buffy reddened.

"Nope, " he answered.

"Well, ‘Sensual' just sent over an article done by a Harmony. They thought
maybe you'd like to read it over before it was published," Cordy flopped the
package on her desk. "Behave guys," and she sauntered out, shutting the
door behind her.

Buffy went straight for the package while Spike went straight for her.

She stopped him by holding up her hand and pointing at him. "You heard
her. Behave."

He pouted.

"Either that or I keep the door open."

Rolling his eyes, he dejectedly sat on the couch across the room.

"All right. Let's see what the annoying one has to say."

Buffy tore into the package and her eyes bugged.

"What?" Spike jumped up and made it by her side in two seconds.

"Oh bloody hell. I can tell you right now that's NOT going to be published,"
he told her peering over her shoulder.

Buffy started to laugh. "Why ever not Blondie Bear?"

"She's sodding insane."

"You dated her."

"What the hell was I thinking?" He muttered.

"Did you really want me to answer that?"

"Bite me."

She leaned in ever so gently and Spike froze. She knew he was waiting for
her to touch him or kiss him in some way. Standing up on her tip toes she
breathed in his hear. "Don't you wish I would?" Then, anticipating his next
move, she jumped away from him with the grace of a cat and laughed as he
started to grab for her, narrowly missing her. She giggled and he began
stalking her around his room. He had a predatory look in his eye and if she
admitted it to herself, it was turning her on. She had just about made it to
the door to open it when his arms closed around her, pulling her against his
chest. He bit down on her neck and she let out a small squeal.

He spun her around in his arms and captured her lips, kissing her soundly.

"Did you sleep with him?" he asked quietly.

She froze in his arms. "Spike. . . "

"Did you?" he asked, his hold tightening.

"No," she whispered.

"Thank you," he murmured and smiled tenderly when her gaze flew to his.
He pressed a kiss to her lips gently and let her go. He strolled to the door
and before opening it, turned to her and said. "Remember what I said,
Buffy. Fall and I'll catch you."

She stared at him as he walked out of the office, wondering if the fluttering
in her belly was part of the falling process.





A/N Thank you guys for the wonderful reviews! I'm glad to hear what you guys think about Spike and Buffy and their relationship. It helps me to see it from a different perspective. Thanks so much :)

"Spike, where are we going?" Buffy asked as Spike nearly drug her out of her office the following day. He'd popped in, announcing he was taking her out. He wouldn't say where though, and Buffy hated not knowing where she was going. In short, she hated surprises. She liked to know what was going on at all times.

"I told you. Out of the office. Away from work. I'm kidnapping you," he grinned down at her and she shivered in reaction. Had his voice always been that sexy? It was so deep and hypnotic. She was sure she could get aroused listening to him recite a phone book or the Gettysburg Address.

"Where are you kidnapping me to?" she insisted.

"Can't just let yourself go can you?"

"It's not in my makeup."

"Why not?"

"I don't know if you knew this, but I'm kind of a control freak."

He smiled, "Think I heard a rumor about that."

She smiled back at him. "I went over the article Harmony wrote."

"The title is going," he told her immediately, "I'm not going to be known as
‘Blondie Bear'."

Stopping in front of his car, he opened the passenger side door. "Mi'lady,
your chariot awaits."

She giggled at him, and took note that she'd been doing a lot of that as of
late. Laughing. Giggling. With Spike, at Spike, around Spike. It was
unnerving and different…nice.

She slid into his beloved black DeSoto and looked around. It was old, but in
mint condition.

Sliding in beside her, he leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose and
waggled his eyebrows. "Ready?"

"I guess," she said on a sigh.

"Trust me."

She let that lie. That was along the same lines as ‘falling' and Buffy just
wasn't ready for that yet.

"Are you going to buy a DeSoto in every color when you're rich?" she
asked a few minutes later.

"Nope. Maybe I'll buy you a car though. What kind do you want?"

She laughed. "You're not going to buy me a car, Spike."

"Oh, and why's that?"

"I won't let you. You should invest some of your money—"

"Buffy?"

"What?"

"No shop talk, remember?"

"My mistake."

"Have you spoken to Willow lately?"

‘Uh, yeah. I just saw her last night."

"How's she doing? I haven't seen her much since she and Xander moved in
with their significant others."

"She's good. Busy prepping the apartment and making it all Willow like. Oz
seems like a really great guy."

"He introduced you to Angel, yeah?"

"Yeah," she said slowly.

"Not all that nice then," Spike said and grinned at her.

She hit him playfully on the arm and he snatched her swiping hand and
kissed the fingertips. "In case I haven't told you recently, I love you."

"Spike," she said on a plea.

"Just want to tell you is all. Here we are."

Buffy looked down and took note that they were still holding hands. She
took her hand away so he could park along the side of the road and they
climbed out. They were at the park. Buffy inhaled deeply on the scent of
lilies and closed her eyes. When she opened them she found Spike smiling
tenderly at her. "Smell the lilies?"

She nodded, smiling shyly.

Opening the trunk, Spike took out what appeared to be a picnic basket.

"You're taking me on a picnic?" she asked in disbelief.

He nodded and took her hand once again. "Yup. You need some fresh air.
Can't have my girl all cooped up inside. Fresh air so you can have a clear
mind when taking care of me."

She followed him, thinking that an afternoon in the peaceful park with the
green grass under her and the scent of lilies surrounding her was a perfect
way to clear her mind. Following Spike to find the perfect spot for their
picnic a thought started nagging at her.

"Did you do this for Harmony and all those other girls?" she blurted out.

Spike stopped and looked down at her, dropping the basket. He brushed
some hair away from her face. "No. Picnics weren't exactly what they had
in mind."

She took her hand from his grasp and stepped back. "Or yours probably."

He sighed, "Pet, I didn't want to do special things for them like I do for
you."

"So this is what it is? Doing special things for me so I'll leave Angel?"

"Don't do this Buffy, please. I wanted to take you out today. Get you away
from work and see you outside of that place and away from New York. I
wanted to get you in a place where we could talk and laugh and, I don't
know, enjoy each others company. I just wanted you to relax and enjoy
yourself, possibly with me."

He looked so earnest and yet crestfallen that she'd doubted his attentions.
She pointed to the basket and squinted up at him. "So what did you pack
for lunch?"

He grinned and handed her the blanket he had draped over the basket.
"Help me with this and I'll show you."



Buffy had her mouth full of fluff and peanut butter and she was trying not
to laugh with her hand over her mouth as Spike recounted his short lived
stint working in a preschool while he'd been away at school.

"So then Timmy walks over to me and he's whining and telling me that
Jessica called him a bad name. So, I said, ‘Tim, what did she call you?' And
he stops and he furrows his brow and I can tell he's thinking really hard.
Finally he turns around to Jessica who's at the table coloring and says
‘Jessica what did you call me?'"

Buffy swallowed and burst into laughter. "What did she say?"

"She said, in this real snotty voice, ‘nothing Timmy!'"

When their laughter died, Buffy cocked her head to the side. "Sounds like
you really enjoyed it there. Why did you leave?"

"Schedule changed, didn't have much time during the day anymore."

"Not very often a guy works in daycare. Mostly it's women."

Spike shrugged. "Well, I've always liked kids and it was at that time that I
was taking education classes. Thought I was going to be a teacher like my
dad."

"I remember. Your dad was a tough teacher. You probably could have
filled his shoes perfectly." She grinned devilishly.

Spike grinned back and poked her. "Troublemaker."

"So what made you change your mind? Did you have an epiphany? A
stroke a genius one night and suddenly the words were flowing from your
pen like water?"

He raised an eyebrow.

She shrugged. "Guess it's a montage that I always pictured happening
with authors."

He chuckled. "No, actually writing is something I'd always enjoyed doing.
Just never thought I'd amount to anything doing it. I got praise from the
writing groups I was part of, but I guess I didn't have the self confidence in
myself to do it."

Her eyes bugged. "You? Not have self-confidence? You've got to joking."

Spike smiled shyly. "Not secure on everything Buffy. It took a professor,
whom I considered a mentor, to get me seriously thinking about it. It was
with his help that I submitted my work and, well, here I am now."

"Wow, that's impressive. I think in interviews you should expound on that.
Give other writers out there—"

"Buffy."

"Right. No shop talk. What can I say, it's ingrained in me. Always one step
ahead."

He cocked his head to the side. "Are you now?"

She looked at him. "Yeah, except with you."

"I'm not going to pretend that doesn't make me happy. Don't you think it'd
be boring if you always knew what to expect?"

"Depends on how you look at it. If say, you're going along thinking someone
is the bane of your existence and their sole purpose in life is to torment you,
and then they drop the bomb on you that they've been in love with you all
this time. . . It tends to throw you off center."

They stared at each other for a minute before Buffy cleared her throat.

"So, what other things are you insecure about?"

"You," he said simply, quickly.

She was stunned. "Me?"

"Yes, you. I've dated girls before Buffy, I've been top of my class and done
outrageous things just for the fun of it or to gain some prestige. But you
make me insecure."

"How?" she asked dumbfounded.

"Because you hold the power in your hands to either let me in, or leave me
hanging. While I'm so sure that I'm hopelessly and helplessly in love with
you, I'm unsure if you'll ever reciprocate those feelings back. You terrify
me."

"Well I guess we're even then."

"How so?"

She met his eyes. "Because you terrify me."

Spike blinked. She was terrified of him? He wasn't sure if he should take some odd comfort out of that or feel an inch tall for it. "How do I—?"

"I shouldn't have said anything," she said and stood quickly, starting to
pack up.

"No, no Buffy," he shook his head and stood, grabbing her arms and
making her look at him. "Tell me why I terrify you."

She wriggled free of his grasp and gestured between the two of them.
"This. Right here." She then gestured to the picnic. "All of it."

"You have to do better than that. Spell it out Buffy."

"You KNOW why. You just want me to say it."

"Because I think you NEED to say it."

"No, I don't," she told him and started to pack up the basket. "We've been
gone long enough and we have work to do—"

"God dammit Buffy! Stop hiding from me!"

"Then stop pushing me!" she shouted back.

"You hide behind this wall . . . is it working for you? Does it make you
happy?"

"It keeps me safe," she told him, facing him now.

"You still think I'd hurt you."

"Yes!"

"Why Buffy? Why do you think that I would? You're the only one that can
hurt me here, you know. You haven't been carrying a bloody torch like I
have all these years."

"Because you make me feel!" She burst out, frustrated, eyes welling with
tears.

He fell silent, giving her time.

"You make me feel things that I don't to feel, that I'm afraid to feel," she wiped at her eyes furiously. "It's scary and what if you aren't there to catch me? What if I fall and then you grow tired of me? Then what'll happen to me? I don't want to end up like that."

Spike moved forward slowly, gently wiped her tears away and pulled her
into the safety of his arms. "Let it out Buffy," he whispered gently. "Tell
me. End up like what?"

"My mother," she whimpered. She pushed at him suddenly. "See you just .
. . do that . . . and I cave. I don't want to cave like that!"

"I just want to comfort you because I love you!" he exclaimed in
frustration.

"Well stop!"

"I can't. Don't you think I've tried? I can't get you out of my system, you're
all around me, in me . . . surrounding me. I can't just stop."

He wasn't sure what made her stop fighting him for a minute; maybe she
took pity on him. Maybe she saw how wounded he was by her refusal that
she somehow found it in her closed off heart to open up to him. Or, maybe
it was the feelings she was having for him that made her ultimately do it.
Whatever the reason, he wasn't going to stop her. Instead, he listened.
Something he realized that he never really did with Buffy before. He never
just stopped and really listened. He spent all his time trying to figure out
how to get her attention and weasel his way in, that he never really heard
her. If he had, he would have seen sooner the struggles inside her. It wasn't
until he'd used the word ‘love' in her presence that he'd seen her fight so
hard, struggle so much and seen her vulnerable. Invincible Buffy Summers
was VULNERABLE. And it terrified her.

"My mom, not just my mom. My parents. Not exactly Ward and June
Cleaver. Well, all depends on how close you look. From the outside, it
appeared that way.

See my mom was totally over the moon for my dad. They met in college.
My dad was studying to be a lawyer and my mom was in art. Her dream
was to open a gallery and display her work and other artists. She had all
these visions and plans and together they seemed invincible. Straight out
of college, my dad was hired by a law firm and my mom was learning the
ropes in a nearby gallery. They had the beautiful house, the white picket
fence and then they had me.

It didn't take long for my dad to make partner and my mom to be co-
owner of the gallery. She was showcasing her own stuff, among others, and
she was, for all intents and purposes, a success.

Then, things started to get bad around the time my mom became pregnant
with Dawn. My dad was staying later at the office, he was working ungodly
hours and even working on weekends. It didn't take long for my mother to
figure out that he was having an affair. By that time, I was thirteen.

She was in a tremendous rage and would alternate between screaming and
crying. I remember her taking off one day to the beach after dropping
Dawnie off at daycare. I came home from school on the bus and there was a
message on the answering machine that she was at the beach and she was
planning on ending it all."

Spike gasped and moved to Buffy to hold her. She held up her hands. "Just
let me finish."

"Okay, pet."

"Now, I was thirteen, I wasn't stupid. I knew what she meant. She was
going to kill herself. I called my father at work and told him what was going
on. He in turn called my aunt and she got Dawnie and came to sit with me
at the house while he went after my mother.

She came home, obviously, and they went to counseling. Things seemed to
be getting better until my mom quit the gallery. Somehow she got it in her
head that if she was more accessible to my dad, then they'd be happier and
he wouldn't stray again.

It backfired. The more accessible she became, the more distant he was.
She bent over backwards for him. Did everything she could to ‘be there' for
him that she lost herself. She did everything short of handing him his
fucking slippers when he came through the door. She gave up her dreams,
her gallery, everything – for him. And how did he repay her? He left her.

My mom became a shell of a woman. By the time all this happened, the
gallery had already been bought by new owners. If she wanted to go back,
she'd have to start from scratch. Nevermind the fact that she hadn't
touched a paintbrush since leaving, spending all her time being the Donna
Reed of the household.

Since my father was a lawyer, she made out pretty good. She stayed home,
took the odd class here and there, and took care of Dawn and I. She wasn't
happy, she's still not happy. She's miserable. Why? Because of love.
Because she loved my dad so much, she lost who she was. I swore when I
saw what she became that I would never let that happen to me. I would
never lose myself in someone to the point where I gave up my career and
my life. Especially for someone who would end up leaving me anyway."

"Buffy, your dad . . . he was an ass for doing that to your mother."

"Tell me about it. Know the last time I heard from him? When I was
seventeen and he invited me to his wedding."

"Was she—"

"I don't know. I didn't want to know."

"Buffy, love makes you do the wacky; I'm not going to lie to you about that.
It makes you do some pretty fucking amazing things. But what your dad
did . . . what happened to your parents . . . it won't ever happen to you. A
man that would cheat on his wife and betray his family like that is not a
man at all. And your mom . . . what she did . . . she was weak Buffy. She lost
herself because she let your dad define who she was. That's not you, that
would NEVER be you and I would NEVER let that be you. Do you think I
would let you do that to yourself?"

Buffy didn't answer, just let the tears fall.

Spike moved up to her and, grabbing a napkin, wiped at her tears. Pushing
the hair away from her face, he cupped her face in his hands. "I wouldn't
leave you, not ever Buffy," he promised. "Remember when we were in New
York and we were going to all those clubs?"

"Are you kidding me? How could I forget New York?"

"Right. Good point. Do you know how happy it made me to have you on my
arm? You willingly held onto me for support and I was on top of the world.
When were in that female strip club and those women were grinding
against poles and taking off their clothes. . . do you know who I kept seeing
on their faces?"

She shook her head.

"You, Buffy. You. I wasn't turned on from them, I was turned on by you.
You were up so close against me at the fantasy club . . . you were grinding
against me and it was like you were mine, just mine. It was you I desired, it
was you I was consumed with. I told you then, didn't I? I told you I was in
love with you and that I couldn't direct that sexual tension at anyone but
you. It's you Buffy, god help me, it's all about you.

You're not your mother, would never be, and I'm not your dad – would
never be."

She looked up at him with watery eyes. "Can we go now please? I just want
to go back now, okay?"

Spike nodded, leaning in and pressing a comforting kiss on her forehead. It
wasn't the time to push for anything at that moment. She needed to
regroup and gather herself back together. She wasn't much for breaking
down and he knew that when she did, it was a serious matter and not to be
taken lightly.

He kept an eye on her as they made their way back to the car and he could
see her thoughts were heavy. Hell, so were his. He'd learned a lot about
Buffy. He wondered if Angel knew any of it. He had a funny feeling that he
didn't. Safe men like Angel had no part in knowing the secret fears of Buffy

Summers. However, someone who was close to her, someone who
frightened her with their vows of love, was in the know.

It was obvious really: She was falling in love with him. And as much as that
should have pleased him, all he wanted to do at that moment was calm her
fears and fight the demons that plagued her with the memories of her
parent's marriage. He didn't want her to confess that the reason she was
terrified of him was because she was falling in love with him. He just
wanted to put the smile back on her face and even get her to argue with
him again.
Once they'd arrived at the office, Spike pulled her into a hug and just held her. She didn't fight him, she just held onto him for a long while until she'd murmured she had work to do and to stop by the next day. He nodded his agreement and left, thoughts heavy in his mind.

Buffy entered her apartment, tossed her keys on the table, and looked around. She was all alone. Not that she minded too much. She'd had an exhausting day, and she never did get to speak with Spike on the article Harmony wrote. Aside from the ‘Blondie Bear' title, it'd been a pretty dry, straightforward article. Buffy guessed she either had someone write it for her, or added on to the tidbits she knew. Basically, the article wasn't going to hurt him to have it published. Hopefully, the other interview he'd had would be a tad more colorful and exciting.

Kind of like the man himself.

She smiled to herself warily, still able to feel his arms around her, comforting her. She'd been mulling over his words all day and she alternated from being angry with him for saying those things about her mother, to feeling that he was absolutely right. She also did know that were she with Spike, he wouldn't want her to change. He loved her despite her bitchiness for some odd reason.

Pressing the new messages on her answering machine she listened to
Angel. "Hey baby. Wondering what you were up to tonight. When you get
in, give me a call."

She sighed. She wasn't going to call Angel. She just didn't have it in her to
see him. To put on the happy Buffy face and pretend that everything is
perfect and great and pretend to be the model girlfriend. Dumping her stuff
on the recliner, she laid back on the couch, her arm over her eyes. She
needed a friend. She needed Spike. The thought didn't jolt her as she
thought it would. He was, after all, the one who knew about her family life.
And he hadn't used to his advantage, hadn't pushed her for anything, hadn't
made fun of her or made some smart ass remark. He just LISTENED. And
held her. Didn't even make any comments about Buffy the Invincible
crying. In fact, he'd seen genuinely concerned. The thought that someone
knew a part of her that no one else did . . . the thought that Spike knew a
part of her that no one else did made her feel connected to him. She almost
felt as if she wanted to unload everything on him, tell him about every fear
she ever had, every desire and goal and that he'd just listen and not judge.
And she knew he wouldn't. He'd just take it all in and support her. Aside
from Willow, she didn't think anyone had ever made her feel that she
belonged like that. That she wasn't an robot, that she was a person with
real issues and feelings.

A person that could break.

She dropped her arm. Nope. No breaking. There would be no breaking
here. Strong, Buffy strong. Glancing down at the coffee table, she noticed a
copy of Spike's manuscript laying there. God, she should be checking out
where to hold a book signing, maybe have him do a reading of the book, get
him an interview with a literary magazine. She picked up the manuscript.
Well, it'd help to read it first wouldn't it? That way she could kill two birds
with one stone. She could do her job and read the book, and, she could
quench her desire to be in Spike's company by wrapping herself up in the
world he'd created.


Spike sat at the bar, absent mindedly drinking his beer and wondering how Buffy was doing. Should he call her? No. He didn't want to crowd her. He kept mulling over their afternoon together and he found himself in a constant state of amazement. She'd told him everything. HIM. The ‘boy' she swore was the bane of her existence at one time. They'd come a long way. Most of it within a weekend.

She was such an amazing woman and if it were possible to love her more,
well, then, he did. She wasn't Buffy the Invincible. She was Buffy with the
tender heart that was so afraid to have broken. She was a driven,
successful woman who needed to learn that she could have all she wanted
PLUS love. Love that would move mountains, because if she asked him; he
would move mountains, rivers and lasso stars for her.

She'd given him a gift today. She gave him a part of herself he was sure
that no one else knew and he cherished it. Cherished that she opened up to
him in that way, she'd TRUSTED him and he would NEVER do
ANYTHING to break that trust.

"Angel, stop!"

Spike froze and turned his head to the source of that voice. It wasn't
Buffy's, that was for sure. The girls voice sounded needy, for one. His eyes
bugged when he saw Angel standing in the doorway with a dark haired girl
wrapped around him like a second skin. She had her face pressed into his
neck and Spike could see that Angel was saying something to her, and she
nodded against him. Separating, Angel started for the door and the girl
lunged at him, twining her arm through his.

"Fuck," he muttered.

Now what the hell was he going to do? Two weeks ago, he would have been
flying high and ready to jump to tell Buffy he'd seen her latest with a tart
wrapped around him. Now? Not so much. While it was true that Buffy
didn't love the ponce, she still didn't deserve this! This would just send her
fleeting back into the castle she'd built around herself. She'd considered
Angel safe. God, he could see the tailspin this would send Buffy on.

He had to tell her though. Had to. How could he NOT tell her? She'd be
mad at him if she found out later on that he'd kept it from her. And why the
bloody hell was she still with him anyway? She had to know after today
that her relationship with Angel wasn't going anywhere, especially now.
He'd tell her tomorrow. Yes, he'd take her away from the office again and
tell her tomorrow.



Buffy squinted at the clock and her eyes widened. It was three am! She put
the finished manuscript down and stared at it.

Simply beautiful.

She felt even closer to him now. Wanted to call him and tell him how
amazing he was and how talented. She wanted to apologize for not devoting
even more time to his ‘case'. His words spun gold. He managed to weave a
story that transported her into the world of the characters he created – or
maybe not so much created. Was Tess her? Was she the 'glorious angel' that Brandon had fallen in love with but could never seem to touch? She blushed
at the idea. She couldn't be. How conceited was that to think? Brandon
loved the girl so much, he did everything he could to get her to notice him.
He went on a glorious journey all for the girl who never knew he existed.
The way Spike had weaved poetry in the story when Brandon would write
sonnets to his beloved, the way he seemed to dig right to the heart of
Brandon. She felt for him. She ached for him. She so wanted him to have
Tess. And at the very end, all Brandon had managed to do was say ‘hello' to
Tess. But then Tess knew, Tess knew that Brandon was real and she smiled
at him . . . she was going to give him a chance wasn't she?

Buffy grabbed for the phone to call Spike. She needed more. He needed to write more. He needed to finish their tale and they needed to live happily ever after. He HAD to be writing a sequel to this. Had to. As his publicist, she'd demand it. She stopped when she was halfway through dialing.

For crying out loud, it was three in the morning. She couldn't call him now. She'd see him in the morning. Laying back, Buffy closed her eyes. Soon, sleep crept up on her as images of Brandon and Tess – looking strikingly much like Spike and herself, danced through her dreams.



Thank you guys so much for the reviews. Each and everyone of you ROCK!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you....:)

As soon as Spike entered her office the next day, Buffy was all excitement.

"Spike your book is amazing!"

He smiled wide, "you finally read it?"

"Yes! Spike it was fantastic. I read it all night. I was up until three a.m.! I
was going to call you to tell you—"

"Why didn't you? I would have loved to hear from my girl."

"At three am?"

He shrugged. "Anytime."

"Well, you'll be happy to hear that I've been a busy bee this morning. I've
called some bookstores for when it's out on the shelves and several are
interested book signings." She was beaming at him.

Spike beamed back at her. "I'm so glad you liked it."

"Liked it? I loved it. I never knew you had such a knack for words."

He smirked, "you never listened."

She laughed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I wanted to ask you—"

"Pet, I need to tell you something." His plan to take her away flew out the
window. He just wanted to do it and get it over with.

She stopped. "Okay. What?"

"Can we sit down?"

Her expression hardened. "You can sit. I'll stand. Nothing ever good comes
when someone says ‘can we sit down?' So just say it."

Spike sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Pet. . . last night I went out
for a drink and—"

"You met someone?"

He was stunned by the frightened expression on her face at the idea. "No!
God, love, no."

"You slept with someone."

"Buffy would you stop? No, that's not it."

"Then just say it!"

"I saw Angel last night. With a girl. They were in a pretty heated embrace
and then they left together," he blurted out.

The silence and the blank expression on Buffy's face were eerie. She just
stood there, not moving and not even looking at him.

"Buffy, pet, are you all right?"

"You saw Angel with a girl?"

"Yes. Pet, I know you're upset about Angel, but you didn't love him
anyway and technically you've kind of been cheating on him with me—"

"That's not it," she told him firmly.

He had a bad feeling about this. "What is it then?"

Walking over to the couch, she grabbed a throw pillow and chucked it at
him. "You're unbelievable!"

Spike's eyes widened as he started to deflect the flying pillows. "What are
you talking about?"

"You figured – what? You got me to open up, we've shared a few kisses,
you got me falling in love with you and then just to cinch the deal you
decide to lie about Angel?

Spike's jaw dropped. "You think I'm lying to you just to – Wait, what did
you say about falling in love with me?"

"Are you not the guy that told Owen I was a hermaphrodite? Are you not
the guy who told Scott you were my brother that just escaped from jail and
you knew how to rip out someone's intestines and hang them with it? I
think you were!" "I wouldn't lie about something like that! How could you
think I'd do that?" He exclaimed.

"Why wouldn't you? I told you what my dad did to my mom, why wouldn't
you exploit that somehow?" she told him, shaking.

He walked up to her, shaking with anger. He stood inches from her face.
"You've gone stark raving mad if you think I would EVER do something like
that to you. If you think I would, then you don't know me at all. You will do
absolutely anything to guard that heart of yours. Even fling sick accusations
at me – the man who loves you more than life. Keep pushing me away
Buffy and I might not come back." With that he walked out of the room,
slamming the door behind him.



Buffy's knees were threatening to give out and she sank, trembling, into
the chair. Tears stung her eyes as the door started to blur.

"Buffy? What the hell happened?" Cordy stood in the doorway, but Buffy
could barely make her out.

"I think I just did a really bad thing," she told the girl, her voice shaking.
She stood up and made her way to the phone. "I um, I need to go for a
while."

"Buffy, you're white as a ghost. What is going on?"

"I just need to call Willow."

Cordy watched her as she picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

Buffy burst into tears.

"Buffy?"

"I messed up Willow. I messed up so bad. He'll never forgive me for this,
never."

"Buffy, what's going on?"

"Can I come over?"

"Honey, I'll come get you okay? Sit tight and I'll be right there."

Buffy hung up and sobbed her heart out, barely registering Cordy
wrapping her arms around her and trying to comfort her until Willow
collected her.



"Spike, you shouldn't have told her," Xander shook his head.

"She should have trusted me!"

"Spike. You can't expect the world of her! Yes, you shared a few
smoochies, a few truths about each other, but come on – do you NOT
remember how at each others throats you used to be? You can't expect her
to just forget it like that. Remember when you told Scott you were brother
that just got out of jail and knew how to hang a man by their intestine? The
guy was freaked AND he told Buffy her psychotic ‘brother' was gonna hang
him if he went out with her. Then, when you're steps closer to her, you
happen to see Angel with another girl and then rush to tell her. "

"You don't believe me either?!" Spike accused.

Xander sighed. "I believe you Spike. You're my best friend. But you have
to make some allowances for Buffy. You haven't exactly been the paragon
of honesty with her. You've carried a fucking torch for her since high school
and then spring it on her out of the clear blue sky. In a strip club no less
AND while she's dating someone.

"She doesn't love him. Not to mention the fact that she was KISSING me
that whole time. Let's also not forget that she was asking me for sex."

"What did she say when you asked her if she was upset about Angel?"

"That, that wasn't what was bothering her, " Spike muttered.

"Right."

"What should I have done then? Not told her? Let him make a fool out of
her?"

"No. I could have told her."

"You would have done that?"

"For the Buffster? Of course."

"Now what do I do?"

"Give her some time. Have a little faith in her, just the way you want her
to have faith in you."

"What if she doesn't?"

Xander patted his back. "She just might surprise you."



Buffy was a balling mass of tears. She must have gone through a whole box
by the time Willow had come, and another one since she'd been at Willow's.
She told Willow everything from the day Spike demanded she be his
publicist to when he left, slamming the door behind him earlier that day.

Willow rubbed her back and listened quietly.

"The thing is he's right. As much as I felt connected to Spike for the first
time, in, well, ever, I was so afraid of it too. It scared me because I felt that
now he could hurt me if he wanted to."

"Which he wouldn't want to do, Buffy," Willow said gently.

"I know. I just thought he was resorting back to all those things he did in
high school. . . I just jumped because it was like ‘oh hey! There's a window
of escape. Just jump out of there and then you won't have to deal with how
you really feel about him.' Except. . . "

"Except what?"

"I didn't expect it to hurt so bad when he walked out the door. And when
he walked away from me, I knew, I knew then that he was right and I was
just protecting myself again. It's just a knee jerk reaction and . . . I've done
it for so long and I don't know how to stop."

"I think the fact that you saw it for what it was when it happened is a
step."

"What's the step after that?"

"Go to him and tell him you're sorry."





A/N: hey guys! Thanks so much for the reviews. This was a really hard chapter to write. . . many revisions. I put myself in their shoes and ended up seeing both sides of the situation. I tried to convey both sides as best I could here. I hope it came across the way I wanted it too.

When Buffy made it home, finally, she was exhausted. She'd stayed at Willow's until late in the evening. She'd been unwilling to go home and face nothingness. Willow reminded her she had to speak with Angel soon. Buffy knew, but she needed to collect herself first. She didn't have it in her to go through a break up, even if she didn't love Angel. And, she wasn't yet ready to face Spike yet. She knew what she had to do; she just needed to gather herself before she could do it. Apologizing had never been Buffy's strong suit. But this, this was more than an apology. This was telling the man she was falling in love with that she was not only sorry, but to please not give up on her. The idea brought fresh tears to her eyes.

Sinking into a warm tub, she mulled over their rocky past. The only time
Spike had ever lied to her was when she questioned him about what he had told Owen. However, the man had been so hell bent on sabotaging her relationships, how could she have not jumped to the conclusion? It was the reason why she made sure Spike never got any information on Angel or spent any time around him.

Not that it mattered now anyway now. Recalling the time on the plane to New York when she'd burst into tears, she remembered how Spike's insistent questioning on whether or not she loved him and her outburst that no, she didn't, had made her cry. He'd scratched close to the surface of her insecurities and fears then and it had frightened her. Also made her look in the mirror and face herself. Much like he did the other day when she'd told him about her parents. The thing about Spike was he was relentless and he could often read her better than anyone else could. It was unnerving.

Her so called boyfriends in the past; including Angel had never been able
to read her. Oh, they'd picked up on certain things about her the way
anyone would being around someone long enough, but they never saw right
to the heart of her the way Spike did. She not only knew how to push his
buttons, but he knew how to push hers as well.

One thing was for sure. Life with Spike was never dull. She just hoped he
didn't give up on her. If he wanted to be with her then it was going to take
some patience on his part. Not that he had exercised enough since he'd
known her, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. She was work, which
she could not deny. Heaven help the man for falling in love with her.

Her body tired, emotions exhausted, Buffy lay down on her bed and her
mind drifted off to Brandon and Tess. She fell asleep thinking of the ways
Spike could give them their happy ending.



A few blocks away, Spike was on his own bed, staring up at the ceiling. All
right, so Harris had a point. It still didn't help take the sting out of her
outright accusation that he'd lie to her in such a way. Like he would ever do
something that malicious to her. Granted the things he'd told guys in the
past to veer them away from her hadn't been all that kind, but after what
she'd told him about her father cheating on her mother, how that was the
beginning of the end . . . well, it made him shiver to even think of doing
something like that to her.

He wanted to see her. Right that second. He wanted to iron it out, talk to
her. He wanted to tell her that he would never leave, could never leave her
as a matter of fact. She was part of him, part of his soul. Losing her would
be like losing an appendage. He sat up in bed, suddenly feeling as if he
couldn't breathe at the mere thought of losing her. Glancing at the clock he
noted it was eleven. Late, but . . . He couldn't wait.

Sod it all, he needed to see her. NOW.





The sound of her buzzer and knocking on her door startled Buffy out of a
sound sleep. She bolted up, feeling the disorientation you feel when you've
been awoken from a deep sleep.

"What the? Where the?" She mumbled as she crawled out of bed and
stumbled toward the door, knocking her knee into the corner of her
dresser. Rubbing her knee, she made it to the door and opened it as far as
the chain would let her. Her eyes widened when she saw Spike on the other
side.

"Spike?" she asked in surprise, blinking at him. God, please let him be real.


"Buffy, can I come in please?" he sounded desperate, he even looked
desperate.

Nodding, she undid the lock and opened the door. They were in each
other's arms the instant he was inside and the door was shut. Spike was
peppering kisses in her hair and over her face. "Do you forgive me kitten?
I'm so sorry baby. I would never leave you. Never. Do you believe me? Are
you all right?" He was murmuring over and over.

Wait just a second here. Wanting nothing more than to lose herself in his
touch and his love, Buffy knew she had to regain some control here and get
to the bottom of things.

"Spike!" she exclaimed on her third attempt to disengage from his arms.
She held her hands out. "Stop. Wait."

"You're still upset with me?"

"No. Why are you apologizing to me? I'm the one that needs to be
apologizing to you."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why? I didn't believe you when you told me Angel was
cheating on me!"


He stared at her agape, "you believe me now? Did you confront him?"

Yes, and no I haven't. Spike. . . " she took a deep breath. "I believed you
the minute you walked away from me. Even before that." Another deep
breath. "I'm . . . " she closed her eyes. "Sorry." She opened her eyes,
ignoring the shock she saw on his face. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I'm
sorry I pushed you away. You were right. I was using it as a defense
mechanism."

Spike gathered her in his arm, holding her tight and pressing a kiss against
her temple. "Baby, I don't blame you for not believing me."

She pulled her head back. "You don't?"

"After all the shit I used to do to keep those ponces away from you? It was
only natural that you'd jump to that conclusion."

"Yeah, but. . . I just apologized for nothing! Do you have any idea how hard
that was?"

Spike burst out laughing and Buffy couldn't help but start to giggle.

"We're quite a pair, aren't we sweetheart?" he asked as he lovingly gazed
at her.

"I'm sayin'," she dropped her head to his chest.

"Does that mean that . . . what you said earlier . . . do you . . . "

She grinned against him. Now who was making who speechless?

She looked up at him innocently. "What?"

He gave her a look and growled, "you damn well know Buffy."

She giggled. "Yes."

"You're . . ."

"Falling. Faster by the minute. You promised to catch me."

"And I will baby, I will. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."


Hmmmmm.........wonder what'll happen next?? LOL

He was kissing her senseless, there was no doubt about that and she felt that certain thrill within her body as it over heated with his expert touch. When his lips had traveled to her earlobe and started nibbling at it and his hands were now cupping her breasts, making them ache for his touch, Buffy knew she had to stop.

She pulled back, breathless. "Spike, we can't."

He looked at her as if she were insane. "What do you mean we can't?"

"I still have to break up with Angel."

"What?" He asked, dazed.

"I don't want there to be anything be between us. No boyfriends, no
doubts, no anything. I don't want it to be like before when I propositioned
you and I don't want it to be like now where I still have baggage. Do you
understand what I'm saying?"

Grinning lazily, Spike leaned in and kissed her sweetly. "Yes, baby. I
understand. I want that too, because you know . . . when we do make love,
that'll be it right? You'll be mine and you won't be able to leave me."

She nodded. "And I will work on not letting that freak me out."

He took her hand, guiding her to her bedroom. He smiled at her tenderly.
"I won't let it freak you out. You'll see. I'll make this so much fun for you
kitten."

"Definitely won't be boring," she chirped.

"Perish the thought. Now, lets get you in bed."

She crawled into bed and he tucked her in, leaving a gentle kiss on
forehead. He started to get up when she grabbed his arm.

"This wasn't a dream? You really do forgive me?"

He smiled and swooped in, kissing her soundly. "That feel like a dream?"

"Spike," she said breathlessly. "You better go. Before I change my mind."

"I could stay and just hold you," he whispered. "Think of it as a friend
comforting another friend after finding out your boyfriend's been cheating
on you."

She answered by opening the covers to him. He made quick work of
discarding his shirt and climbed into bed.

"Your jeans?" She asked puzzled.

He grinned, "Unless you want something to happen, it'd be good if I kept
them on. I go commando."

She blushed and nodded, snuggling up to him.

He wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head and sighed.
"Kitten, do you have any idea how long I've wanted this? How long I've
been waiting for you to be here in my arms willingly? I feel like I'm the one
in a sodding dream."

Grinning, Buffy pinched him hard on the arm, causing him to jump and
yelp.

"That feel like a dream?" she asked.

"You little..."

She giggled as he now used those expert hands to tickle her.



The next morning, Spike woke up to the feel of Buffy in his arms, her face
turned up slightly against his chest, her arms bent and cradled against him
like a child with some of her hair sprawled out on the pillow and some
across her eyes. He leaned in softly so as not to wake her and swept some
of the hair away from her beautiful face. He gazed adoringly at her, amazed
that he was there with her like this and that she WANTED him there with
her like this. He was having a hard time wrapping his mind around it. It'd
been so, so long that he'd ached for her, loved her from a distance and
wanted to have the right to protect her and keep her in his arms. He still
remembered stepping off the bus in high school on his first day and
thinking there was no way in HELL he was ever going to like Boston.

And then he'd seen her. She was all glowing and gorgeous with her shiny
blond hair in loose waves around her face, her brilliant green eyes
sparkling, her wide smile and angelic laugh. She'd been with Willow and
Xander at the time and all he could do was stop and stare. Later that
morning Willow had been assigned to show him around. When Buffy had
joined Spike, he thought he could impress her with his bad boy routine. A
leer here, an innuendo there and the patented tongue behind the front
teeth and smirk – he'd failed to realize that Buffy was not like other girls
that had fallen for that before. That was not the way to woo her and before
he'd known it they'd been tossing barbs back and forth between each other
and then. . . well, then, he'd dumped red Jell –O in her hair in a fit of
frustration.

"What are you thinking about?"

He snapped out of his reverie to see Buffy looking up at him curiously. He
swept a hand through her hair and leaned down to kiss her. "You."

"What about me?"

"When we first met."

She sat up. "You know what I first thought when I saw you?"

He chuckled, "I don't think I want to know."

"I thought you were hot."

"Really?" he asked, his eyes popping out.

She nodded. "And then of course you spoke."

He laughed. "You never did get over your first impression of me."

"You never gave me a chance," she retorted lightly.

He shrugged, "good point." He gathered her back in his arms. "When are
you going to talk to Angel?"

"I'm going to call him and see if I can see him tonight. In all fairness
though, I was going to break up with him anyway."

"You were?"

"You sound surprised," she looked up at him, quirking an eyebrow.

"I am. I mean, you didn't seem as if you were willing to cut him loose."

"I wasn't exactly WITH him either. I've given him the shaft a lot ever since
New York."

He couldn't help the surge of pride at that. It was because of HIM. "So,
you talk to Angel, get it all done, nice and proper like and then you come
see me?"

"Yes dear."

"That's my girl."



Buffy was loathed to leave Spike after spending the morning with him.
Who would have known that being with someone you loved being with
could be so pleasurable? She chuckled to herself at the thought. Spike was
introducing her to a whole new world. And in it, she was still her. Not a
shadow of herself, still her. Just a more vibrant and happy her. She hadn't
lost herself at all, in fact, she felt as if she'd discovered a part of herself that
she hadn't known about. The part of her that laughed and smiled more, the
part of her that found joy in discovering her feminine wiles. And oh, was
Spike the man to discover THAT with. She was grinning to herself as she
recalled Spike's naked chest and she found her heart speeding up. She
sipped her margarita. Hurry on up, Angel.

"Buffy?"

She looked up to see him, standing there in front of her.

"Oh. Hi," she said lamely.

She found she couldn't even get all that angry at him for cheating on her.
Hell, she probably would have cheated on her too. She was emotionally
handicapped after all. Besides, she'd spent enough time with Spike and his
lips to know she wasn't exactly Miss Innocent.

"Hi. How are you?" He seemed a little tense. Odd, that.

She chewed her bottom lip. Better to do this quick. "Angel, I think we need
to talk."

"So you said this morning when you called." A beat. "You know, don't
you?"

"About the girl on the side? Yeah. I do."

"How'd you know?"

"Little birdie told me. Were you thinking I would never find out?"

Dammit," he swore under his breath. "I thought I saw Spike that night . . .
Can't blame him. I would have done the same thing."

She raised her eyebrows. "Huh?"

"Oh, you don't know?"

"Know what?"

"That he's got a thing for you."

Her eyes bugged. "I knew that. Almost a week ago – how the hell did you
know?"

"Buffy, it was blatantly obvious."

"Really?"

"When we saw him in the bookstore? The first time I met him and you
guys were screaming at each other, nose to nose? You can't have that kind
of passionate dislike for someone without it just being a cover for something
else."

"Wow. I really am blind."

Angel shrugged. "Nah. You guys had a past. Listen, Buffy, the other girl—"

"I don't know if I really need to know this Angel," she said shaking her
head.

"I wasn't seeing her the whole time we were together. When you went
away that weekend with Spike?"

Oh God, did he know?

"Yeah," she said slowly, cautiously.

"I was at a bar and I got pretty hammered . . . it just happened. I didn't
plan it. I felt so guilty about it."

"Is that why you showed up at the airport?"

He looked sheepish. "Yeah. Guilt."

"Oh."

"I told her that it was a one night thing, that I had a girlfriend. An
AMAZING girlfriend, but she wouldn't leave me alone. What Spike saw last
night was me trying to tell her it was over. Unfortunately, she didn't really
want to take the hint."

"Really?"

Angel nodded. "Really. Buffy –"

"It's over, Angel."

He nodded. "I kind of guessed."

"I'm sorry."

"Is it –?"

"Because of what you did? No."

He cocked his head to the side. "Spike?"

"Yeah."

"I kind of guessed. You weren't the same when you got back from New
York. You were so distant."

"Let's face it; I never really was a great girlfriend."

"Well, honestly, you were always distant."

"Yeah, seems to be an epidemic with me."

"I hope he makes you happy."

"Maybe you can still try with that girl?"

"Nah. Too clingy. Need someone not quite so distant and not quite so
clingy."

"In between."

"Exactly." He stepped forward. "Good luck Buffy," he said and hugged her
warmly.

"Thanks, you too," she patted his back. He pulled away and smiled, giving
her a little wave before walking away.

"It all done then?"

She furrowed her brow and turned to see Spike standing there, beer in
hand.

"Did you follow me?"

He looked down. "I guessed. Not bad huh?"

She giggled. "You're something else."

He leaned in and nuzzled her cheek, "you like it."

She sighed, contentedly, "I do."

"Hungry kitten? Let's get some dinner. "

"Yes, I think this can officially be the start of our first official date." And
she slung her arm through his.

"Will I make it to first if I buy you dinner?" he snickered.

"If you're lucky, check with the third base coach. He just might be waving
you in."






A/N: Well, they haven't done it yet! LOL. Sorry guys. Just didnt' seem right. And I couldn't make Angel an ass...I mean she hadn't really seen him all that much since she got back from NY, figured I'd made an Angel and understanding kind of guy. Spike and Buffy have been through enough already!

Spike was smiling so much; his face was starting to hurt. He could have cared less though. The glow on Buffy's face as she spoke to him about his book was inspiring.

"What do you think happened to them?" he asked when she finished telling
him her favorite parts. They were still sitting in the restaurant, sipping on
coffee.

"I don't know," she shrugged, "I mean, I know what I want to have happen
for them, but I don't know. That's your area. You're creative in writing and
music; I'm creative in how to get you in the public eye."

"Well, what happened with Brandon and Tess kind of depended on how
you and I ended up."

She put her cup down. "What?"

He looked down sheepishly. "All that stuff that Brandon did – you did
know he was based on me, right? And that Tess was based on you?"

She blushed a little, "I wasn't sure. I figured it would be presumptuous of
me to think that."

"Well, she's you. Brandon's angel. My angel."

She cocked her head to the side. "You really see me the way he saw her?
The way he felt for her was just so pure and unconditional. For a while
there you had me thinking she was a figment of his imagination or truly an
angel."

"Yeah, princess, that's how I see you. That's how I love you."

"Wow," she breathed.

"Does that freak you out?" he asked tentatively, afraid of the answer.

"A little bit."

"Enough to push me away?"

"No. I don't know if you know this about me, but I love a challenge."

He frowned. "Is it a challenge for you to be with me?"

"No, not like that. I mean that it's a challenge for me to allow myself to
open up and let someone in. It's something I've never done. So I'm
challenging MYSELF to do it. You know when you face a fear? That's what
I'm doing. Facing my fear of allowing myself to open up to you and let you
in. I'm determined to overcome it and let myself be healthy."

He reached out and stroked her cheek, gazing at her lovingly. "You're an
amazing woman, Buffy Anne Summers."

She smiled. "Thanks, but I haven't done anything yet."

"No, you have. You told me about your parents and you allowed me to love
you. You believed me when I told you about Angel. You haven't run from
what we have. Not yet anyway," he finished on a nervous chuckle.

"Just don't give up on me okay?"

"Never."

They gazed at each other for a minute, then Buffy started. "So, what's
going to happen to them?"

"Brandon and Tess?"

She nodded.

Taking her hand in his, he kissed her knuckles. "I guess we'll have to see.
There are so many possibilities for them. Don't you think?"

She nodded, dazed.

"Care to dance with me sweetheart?"

She nodded again and allowed Spike to help her out of her seat and lead
her to the dance floor. Wrapping his arms around her, Spike sung inside
when she leaned in against him, letting him hold her and support her. Their
fingers entwined on his chest, Spike grazed his thumb across her skin and
rested his cheek on the top of her head. He noticed the smiled of the elderly
couples on the floor and he smiled graciously back at them. He knew they
could see what he'd known so long ago. He and Buffy were meant to be.
Two halves of whole, soul mates complete.



"Spike?" she asked him uncertainly, swallowing her nervousness. She
wasn't exactly sure why she was nervous, I mean they'd both made it
abundantly clear they wanted each other . . .

He looked at her, "yeah kitten?" he asked as they stood in front of her
apartment building.

"Um, did you want to come up?"

He broke out into a wide smile, "I'd love to kitten."

She smiled and found her hands were trembling a bit as she fished for her
keys and led him up to her door.

Once inside, Buffy flicked on the lights. "Did you want some coffee? We had
a lot at the restaurant so probably not huh? Some tea? I've never seen you
actually drink tea, though I thought all the British drank tea. How about
some wine? I don't even know if I have wine. I suppose I should really find
out what I have before I offer it to you. I have milk, that I know for sure.
You know, it does a body good and all –"

He silenced her by sweeping her in his arms and kissing her. "It's definitely
done this body good," he whispered, running his hands down her sides and
then pulling her flush against him. He leaned in and buried his face in her
hair, breathing in her scent and nuzzling her neck.

Somehow, she managed to get her limbs working and wound her arms
around him, tangling her fingers in his curls. "I love your curls," she told
him on a murmur.

He grinned against her skin. "Do you now?"

"Always better than when you slick your hair back. Makes me want to curl
my fingers in your hair just to see if they're as soft as they look."

"And?"

"They are," she told him breathlessly as she sought out his mouth. Kissing
hungrily, Buffy found all thought leaving her mind. She'd felt as if she'd
spent a lifetime waiting for this moment. And then she realized, she had.
She'd waited so long for something she never thought she'd be able to have.
Love. To actually feel her skin crackling with pleasure and feel it sensitized
and responsive only to his touch, to the touch of the man that loved her and
she loved back.

Feeling her feet leave the ground, she let out a small ‘eep!' Spike chuckled
against her mouth. "Wrap your legs around me kitten," he told her, his
voice wavering with barely restrained lust.

She did as he instructed and they somehow made it to the bedroom intact.
Stopping along the way as Spike moved her against the wall to devour her.

Once they made it to her bedroom, he deposited her on her bed and the
feel of his body against hers was amazing. She wanted more. Needed more.
She wanted to feel all of him, have him blanket her with his body. She
tugged at his shirt and finally managed to get it over his head. God, he was
gorgeous. She leaned up and latched onto a nipple, delighting in the hiss he
let out.

He groaned as his lips dribbled down her jaw to nibble on her ear and then
down to her neck to lick, suck and kiss. He reared back just enough to help
her discard her shirt and when she lay there, spread out before him in her
bra, his eyes glazed over as she made fast work of unfastening her front-
clasped bra. When they broke free, Spike's eyes widened and growling, he
lunged forward to suckle them, one at a time, in his hot, soft mouth. She
moaned and ran her fingers through his silky hair.

"Spike," she moaned, arching her back to his delicious torment.

He pulled his head up, gazing her hotly, "love it when you say my name
like that," he told her and kissed her soundly. "You're gorgeous you know
that?"

"Now I do," she smiled softly.

He skimmed his hands over her body, "like silk," he murmured.

She wrapped her arms about his neck and pushed herself up closer to him. She could feel his erection against her stomach and she ached to have him inside her. "Please," she begged breathlessly.

"My little minx," he purred and stood suddenly, discarding his pants as he
watched her intently.

She bit her lip and stared up at him with hunger written plainly on her
face. She moved her hand to her jeans and started undoing them, wanting
that monster between his legs inside her now.

He watched her undress and groaned. He stilled her hands and shooed
them away. "I want to do it," he rasped. He slid down her zipper and
tugged on her jeans until the fell down her hips. He stopped when they
were down to her knees and he groaned at the sight of her pink panties
with the bows tied at her hips. He yanked her jeans away and with
trembling hands he started to untie her bows.

"Your hands are shaking," she whispered.

He looked up at her, sheer adoration and awe written all over his face. "It's
you," he said simply.

"You've had sex before, Spike," she chided him lightly. Who was she
kidding? She felt as if it were her first time. Every part of her was humming
for her.

"Not with you, I haven't. Feel like it's my bleeding first time," he
whispered as her panties fell away and left her exposed. She started to
move her legs together, feeling uncomfortable under his close scrutiny, but
he stopped her. He looked up at her. "No. Don't hide from me. You are. . . .
God, you're so gorgeous." He fell to his knees, pulling her closer and she
wondered what he was doing until she felt his mouth on her.

"Oh God," she moaned, her eyes rolling in the back of her head.

"So sweet," he murmured as he laved her. Finding her sensitive nub, he
flicked his tongue against it, making it firm and taut.

"Spike," she gasped, grinding her hips slowly in a circle.

"Every time you say my name like that. . . I want to cum," he whispered
and sucked her clit in his mouth.

She came hard and fast, panting heavily. Her eyes opened and she found
him hovering above her, a smile on his face. He glided a hand across her
face gently. "So sexy when you cum. . . Think it's the most beautiful sight
I've ever seen," he told her as he slid himself inside her core.

Her head rolled back and he started to nuzzle her neck as he moved within
her. She grabbed at him, making him face her and she kissed him hard as
she arched herself up to him, pressing her breasts against his hard chest.
He grunted and started to move faster.

"Baby, want to go slow," he told her and grunted as she moved her hips,
pushing back at him and grinding in circles.

"Faster Spike. I want to feel you. Waited so long. . . " And she ran her
hands down his back, pushing him closer and deeper inside her.

He started moving faster as he buried his face in her neck and bit down
gently.


"Uh…Spike…" she breathed.

He looked up at her, the awe back in his face. "Are you real? Are you really
here this time?"

She nodded and kissed him. Tongues dueling, teeth clashing, they kissed so
passionately it was as if the entire world had slipped away and their bodies
had melded into one. She felt the fire coil inside her.

"I want to watch you," he whispered as he moved even faster and harder.
"I want to watch you cum for me," and he moved his hand to finger her clit,
helping her come. He entwined his other hands with hers.

When she started to cum, her walls tightened on his cock inside her and he
grunted before he spilled himself inside her. She called out his name as he
called out hers and they moved slowly together, riding their orgasm out.

She laid there, her orgasm still ebbing inside her, feeling tired and spent in
the most delicious way. Spike was breathing heavily against her neck, and
every so often kissing it.

"Am I crushing you?" He asked, his voice muffled by her shoulder.

"Not really," she told him.

He rolled slightly, and it seemed to her that he was being careful not slip
out of her. She looked at him in question as he pressed her against him, still
imbedded inside her.

"Not ready to be apart from you yet, luv," he whispered shyly and kissed
her. When he pulled away, she stared at him.

"What are you thinking?" he asked. "Be honest. Don't hold anything back
from me. Please."

"I'm thinking I've never felt so close to another person in my life," she
whispered.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it," she whispered, snuggling against him. "You're amazing to me . . .
" she murmured. "You've melted the Ice Queen."

"All part of my charm," he grinned.

"Definitely not your charm," she teased and then yelped when he pinned
her under him.

"Maybe I need to show you some more of my charm," he waggled his
eyebrows.

She could feel him growing inside her and she let out a moan. "Yes," she
said breathlessly, "please do."







Hi guys! Thank you for the reviews! This story is not over yet. I have more to tell of this tale. Hope you don't mind!

One month later

Buffy stood behind Spike as he signed copy after copy of his book, finally published and on the shelves. It was called ‘Revelations'.

She'd almost convinced him to write the sequel so the audience could get
their happy ending. He told her it would ruin the magic of the story and
that the happy ending he'd wanted for Brandon was the happy ending he'd
gotten as Spike. She'd realized he was alive; she'd figured out his love and
returned it. Buffy, that is. However, there was one small glitch.

She hadn't told him yet.

She chewed her bottom lip as she contemplated how to go about telling
him. She'd never said it before. Well, aside from her family and pets. Oh,
and to the most comfortable pair of pajama's she'd ever worn in her life.
She kind of figured that saying ‘I love you' to Spike should be a big deal. It
was her first time saying it, and his first time hearing it. From her. She
quickly disregarded telling him during sex. She'd been moved to tell him as
they made love, but she didn't want him to think it was because their
hormones – was it hormones or pheromones? Dammit, she couldn't keep it
straight. Anyway, she didn't want to fall into the cliché of saying ‘I love you'
during sex. Not that he didn't tell her when they were in full throttle. He
never shut up when they made love. She loved that about him. She always
knew just what he was feeling and what she was doing to him. It wasn't a
mystery. Cosmo would sing him praises. She pretty much had a clear map
to his pleasure points. She knew how to make him growl and keen with
pleasure. Like just the night before when she'd playfully nipped at the spot
behind his ear, he'd growled and she'd found herself pushed into the bed
and then he'd taken her with –

"She's so pretty," an old woman was saying, smiling at her.

"Isn't she? She doesn't realize it though," Spike was saying, smiling at the
old lady.

"You tell her everyday?"

"Every day, ma'am."

The old woman patted his arm and hobbled away.

Buffy's face was on fire. She'd been having naughty thoughts in the
presence of an old lady. In the middle of a bookstore.

Spike looked up at her as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. He
smirked at her and she gave him a ‘look'. He chuckled and turned back
around.

Okay, so. How to say I love you? Over dinner? She almost told him last
week when they were at the hot dog stand on the corner and he'd gotten
mustard on the tip of his nose. It'd been so cute; she wanted to tell him
then. She'd also wanted to say it when she'd stumbled into the kitchen that
morning and he'd been cooking breakfast for them in the boxers she'd
bought him as a joke with red hearts all over it and his signature black t
shirt. She'd laughed at how unmatched he was. Just perfect. Just so. . .
Spike. Her Spike.

But were those the right times to say it? Or did it have to be at a time
when there were fireworks going off and they were drinking champagne
and he was in a tux and she was in Versace? She just didn't know.



"Buffy, you should have said it at any of those times. When you feel the
urge to say it, that's the best time to say it," Willow told her later on over
the phone.

Buffy swiveled in her chair. "Really? When did you tell Oz?"

"I told him while we were doing dishes one morning. I just said it. He
smiled and said it back. When does Spike say it?"

"Any time, all the time."

"Then why don't you return it when he does it?"

"Because it'll be my first time saying it! I want it to be special."

"Buffy, the man is over the moon for you. Has been since high school. You
tell him you love him in a sewer and it'd be special for him."

"So you think going out to dinner isn't a good idea?"

"I think it's very sweet of you, but I don't think it's needed. Just tell him
Buffy."

"I will. Tonight. At the French restaurant that I can't even pronounce."

Willow laughed. "Let me know how it goes."



Buffy was in a foul mood. She'd gone to get her hair done for the night and
as luck would have it, it started to downpour as soon as she'd left the
saloon. It'd fallen completely down despite her best efforts to run and duck
under awnings on the way home. She had an allergic reaction to the new
makeup she bought and her right cheek was raw and red. Spike was late
and she'd torn her nylons. Her shoes didn't match her dress as they had in
the store and she was just not in the mood to go out anymore.

She'd told him to dress up and be at her place at seven, but he'd gotten tied
up at the recording studio. It was almost seven and Buffy realized that by
the time Spike got there now, they'd lose their reservation. She was a mess, she decided as she looked at herself in the mirror.

The buzz of the door jolted her and she started for the door, stubbing her
toe on the way. Limping, she opened the door to reveal Spike in a tux. God,
he was gorgeous.

Promptly, she burst into tears at the sight of him.

"Kitten, what's wrong? I'm sorry I'm late, I tried to get here as soon as I
could—baby, please stop crying." Spike was saying to her as he closed the
door and wrapped her in his arms.

"I'm a mess!" she wailed. "You look so good and I'm a mess!"

"Baby, you look gorgeous!"

"Why do you have to be like that! It's not fair," she wailed again.

"Like what?"

"Perfect," she hiccupped and took the hankerchief he offered her, blowing
her nose loudly. "You always know what to say to make me laugh. You're
sweet when I want to be angry at you and then I can't be angry at you."
Hiccup. "You're constantly supportive, always listening to me and you
never give up. You're relentless you know that?" Hiccup. "You always seem
to know what I'm thinking when I don't even know what I'm thinking . . .
You're perfect and brave and I wanted tonight to be special before I got
caught in a rainstorm, bought stupid new make up and tore my nylons and
my shoes don't match and all I wanted to do was take you out so I could tell
you that I love you!"

She barely heard him gasp as she continued. "You swept me off my feet
and I wanted to sweep you off yours but how can I when I look like
someone rubbed poison ivy on the side of my face and now I have raccoon
eyes. And you . . . in a tux! You're gorgeous you know that? I'm Quasimodo
and you're Esmeralda!" She blew her nose loudly.

"Buffy, what did you want to tell me tonight?"

She hiccupped, "I love you," she said mournfully.

Cupping her face in his hands, Spike made her look at him. "Look at me
my poison ivied raccoon," he smiled tenderly. "You love me?"

She nodded.

"Could you say it again?"

"I love you, Spike."

He closed his eyes and Buffy wasn't sure what to do next. When he opened
them again, he was gazing at her with such intensity, her breath caught.

"You just made my entire life," he breathed.

"I wanted it to be special. I wanted to tell you so you'd always remember
it."

"Buffy, luv," he started and then smothered her in a kiss. "Buffy, I don't
care where you tell me. Just that you told me just that you told me because
you feel it. You love me. You do, right? Tell me again."


She couldn't help but giggle at how cute he sounded, wanting to hear it
again.

"I love you."

"Again."

"I love you."

He started dotting her face with kisses. "I've imagined you telling me that
so many times, Buffy. In so many different ways. "

"How? Did it include dinner?"

He chuckled. "Somwhere in there I'm sure it did. But you've told me in my
mind when we're making love, when we're walking the streets of Boston
hand in hand, when we were in high school and we sat together at lunch. I'd
imagine you leaning across to me and whispering ‘I love you'. A million
different ways have I imagined you telling me you love me. Nothing could
have prepared me for how incredible it felt to actually hear it." He kissed
her, passionately. "I will remember this for the rest of my life." he told her
and picked her up, cradling her against him as they walked to the
bathroom.

"What are you doing?"

"Let's take a bath. You look a little frazzled. Then I'm going to make love to
you and we'll maybe even eat," he grinned.

"No."

He froze. "No?"

"No, I don't want you to make love to me."

His face fell. "You don't?"

She shook her head. "I want to make love WITH you."

He beamed at her and kissed her so hard; she feared they'd fall over.


Pushing inside her, Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and stared up into his eyes, knowing they reflected the love he shone back at her. She leaned up and kissed him sweetly as they moved together, slowly, deliberately. Both of them wanted this to last as long as possible.

"Spike," she whispered and took the lobe of his ear in her mouth.

He grunted.

"I love you," she whispered and he started to move faster within her. "I
love you," she told him again.

"Buffy," he moaned and thrust harder. "I love you."

"I love you," she told him again, this time pulling her head back so that just
the tips of their lips were touching.

"Again," he begged.

"I love you," and she could feel the heat coiling inside her, she was ready…
she was going to…

"Again!"

"I love you!" and they exploded together.

Spike fell on top of her, panting. She stroked his back, trying to reign them
both back down to Earth.

Leaning up on his elbows, he looked down at her lovingly. "I love you so
much Buffy. So, so much. I've loved you forever and now you love me back.
It's the most amazing feeling in the world to be loved by you."

Kissing him, she caressed the side of his face. "Now you know how I feel
being loved by you."





thank you so much to the ones that have reviewed. It means so much to me. I love hearing what you think!! Thank you so, so much....

Oh, and there will be at least 2, maybe 3 more chapters. Unless you're tired of it by now?

I cannot thank you guys enough for the reviews you've left. It brings a smile to my face and it makes me want to write, write write until I just can't write no more!! Thank you all SO much!!!

Three Months later

Buffy moved about the bathroom getting ready for work as Spike showered.

"Sweetheart?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you pick up some milk on the way home? We're out."

"Sure. Are you going to be passing by the dry cleaners?"

"I can if you want me to."

"Yeah, I need my clo—" She stopped abruptly.

"Oh and can you pick up some swiss cheese? I really liked that kind you
picked up last time."

She wasn't paying attention. She was looking around. His toothbrush in the
toothbrush holder right next to hers. His shaving cream, razor, deodorant,
cologne. She marched into the bedroom and flung open the closet. His
shirts, pants, jeans, shoes. She stared at it as if she were only seeing it for
the first time.

"Buffy?"

She spun to see Spike with his towel wrapped around him. "I was talking to
you and you walked away. You all right?"

"I'm fine," she chirped.

He cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. "I know that voice.
What's going on?"

She rolled her eyes. "Can you get out of my head for two minutes?"

He smiled, "nope. I like it there."

She pushed him, his torso was still wet and he was warm from the shower.
He was so beautiful. "Go get dressed before your editor has my head."

"Your head?"

"Yes, I distinctly remember you telling her the last time you were late was
because I was on your case about putting a new roll on the toilet paper
holder."

He grinned. "Oh yeah."

"Yeah, thanks for that by the way."

He tucked his tongue behind his teeth and leered at her. "I could think of
other things to do that would make me late…"

She laughed and pushed him into the bathroom. "I have work too."

"You sure you're all right?"

"Uh huh."

"Give me a kiss before you go?"

She leaned in and kissed him sweetly, giggling when he hauled her up
against him. "Spike I'm getting all wet!"

"I can make you wetter," he told her huskily and nipped at her lips.

She laughed. "GO."

"Fine. You're no fun you know that? Don't you know it gets the creative
juices flowing?"

She rolled her eyes. "Supposedly it makes you a better cook too, but…you
know whatever." "Hey! Who burnt water last week?"

"Because SOMEONE was ogling me on the couch."

"Rather eat you anyway."

"Spike!"

"What? You can't tell me after four months you don't know that yet?"

She shook her head, "you're such a dirty boy."

"Don't you want to clean me up?"

She laughed at him and pointed to the bathroom. Like a dog with its tail
between his legs, he finally entered the bathroom.




Buffy sat at her desk tap, tap tapping away with her pen and staring off. It
would seem that for all intents and purposes, her and Spike were living
together. Just about everything he needed was there. However . . .
everything she needed was at his place too. She'd just bought an extra robe
for when she stayed at his place. Along with a toothbrush and some
clothes. Her heart started to race. She was basically living with Spike.
When did that happen? Did she miss that memo? It had just snuck up on
her. Really, that morning when he'd gone on about the milk and she'd taken
a look around her . . . huh. So, now what? Were they ready for that? Was
SHE ready for that? She'd never lived with anyone before. Certainly not a
GUY. Spike was more than a guy though. He was her boyfriend. Somehow
he'd fit into her place though and she in his. Somehow it'd managed to slip
by her for quite some time and if there was anything amiss in Buffy's world,
she was always the first to catch on to it. Which meant that they fit so
perfectly together that it was natural for her to have him co-habitating with her.

Now what?



Spike picked up her dry cleaning and was on his way up to her apartment when he stopped in the middle of the hallway. He didn't have a key. How was that possible? He had everything under the sun in her apartment, but he didn't have a key. He let the dry cleaning brush the floor as he thought about what exactly was the ‘everything under the sun' he had in her apartment. Then he compared that to what she had in her apartment.

Slowly, a broad smile spread across his face. Then an idea struck him and
he nearly sprinted out of her building.

Buffy licked her lips nervously as she looked around the kitchen. Salad,
check. Garlic bread, check. Wine, check. She smiled. Thank god for catering
services. She'd gotten swamped toward the end of the day and couldn't
make an early break. Plus, she'd taken an extra long lunch picking Spike up
a present. That's what was making her so nervous. Not just for him, but for
her as well and the implications of it all and . . . she just needed to stop
thinking. She was doing the absolute right thing.

The buzzer buzzing cleared her thoughts and she smiled in anticipation.
She was glad she'd told Spike to come by for dinner tonight. He'd wanted
her to come over to his place tonight, muttering some odd reason why and
she'd forged ahead and told him she wanted to be at her place. After some
hemming and hawing, he'd agreed.

Opening the door for him, for possibly the last time, she smiled brightly at
him.

"You look a little flushed. Been slaving over a hot stove?" Spike asked as he
kissed her gently.

"More like slaving over the cartons of food to dish them out."

Spike laughed and took his jacket off, tossing it on a nearby chair.

"Spike," she said firmly.

"Right." He picked up the jacket and hung it up in the closet.





Settling into dinner, they tucked in and chatted about their day. Once they
were done and full up, Spike leaned across the table and took her hands in
his, kissing them.

"I love you," he told her.

She smiled, "I love you too."

The look of awe came on his face. It was always there when she told him
that. Like he still couldn't believe she loved him.

"I have something for you," he told her, suddenly looking nervous.


"I have something for you too," she took a deep breath. Moment of truth.

He looked surprised. "A gift?"

"You could say that. You have one for me?"

"You could say that."

They eyed each other suspiciously.


Spike reached into his pocket at the same time Buffy jumped up and
grabbed the small box off the top of the fridge. She wasn't even thinking
about what his gift could possibly be, all her energy was focused on giving
him hers. When she sat down and saw the little box, the same size as hers,
in front of her, she looked up at him. What could it be?

He stared at the box in her hand.

"Oh, here." She thrust the box at him. He started to take it and she held on
to it.

"Buffy?"

"Sorry," and she let the box go.

"They're the same shape," she reflected.

"Hmmm. Open at the same time?"

"Um, okay."

She whipped the top of the box off and gasped at the same time he did.

Both of them held up their gifts and looked at each other in surprise.

"Is this key to your apartment?" Spike asked, holding up the key that was
in the box.

"No, it's to my car, Spike," she told him sarcastically.

"You don't have a – oh right. Well, I can tell you that's not a key to my car,
" he told her gesturing to the key he gave her which she now held in her
hand.

They started to laugh at the same time. Then Spike moved out of his chair

and knelt in front of her. "Buffy, does this mean what I think it means?"

"What do you think it means?"

He cleared his throat, looking nervous again. "I'm hoping, that is, I was
going to ask you—Buffy are you asking me to move in with you? Because
when I got you that key I was going to ask you to move in with me. I know
how freaked out you get about stuff like that so at first I was going to just
tell you to use it whenever, but now that I have your key in my hand . . .
Buffy were you going to ask me?"

She leaned in, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Yes," she whispered.


He beamed at her and devoured her lips in the next second.

She pulled back. "Where are we going to live then?"

"Where would you like to live, kitten?"

"Um, can we do my place? I mean, yours is a total bachelor pad and you
know how I am about change—"

He shushed her with a kiss. "Say no more kitten. "


Now she beamed at him. "Can you take me to our bed now?"

He stood up and grabbed her, sweeping her up in his arms and carrying
her to their bedroom. "I really like the sound of that," he told her as he laid
her down on the bedspread. Caressing the side of her face, he gazed down
at her tenderly. "You're really my girl."

She smiled, "I have been for a while now Spike."

"Sometimes I still have trouble remembering that you're really here and
its not one of my fantasies going out of control and that one day I'll wake up
in a strait jacket in a padded room."

She smiled. "If you do end up there, I'll visit you everyday."

He tickled her until she begged for mercy. She wrapped her arms around
him and brought him close. "If you're in the mental hospital, then I'm there
too. Because sometimes I think I dreamt you into life."

She could have sworn his eyes were filled with tears, but in the next
minute he was kissing her and setting about making love with her,and she
couldn't have been too sure.




A/N: I really felt that I should show how their relationship is growing and how Buffy is growing and embracing the relationship and her feelings for Spike. She was the one that was so afraid, so I kind of wanted to show her evolving. One MAYBE two to go!

A/N: Song by James Marsters/Ghost of the Robot. (It's one of my faves so I couldn't resist putting it in here)

Six Months Later

"You're going to do WHAT?" Xander exclaimed as he helped Spike prepare for the show he was putting on in one of Boston's most elite night clubs.

"I'm going to ask Buffy to marry me," Spike told him, grinning. Inside
however, his stomach was a mass of knots.

"Don't you think it's soon?"

Spike's eyes bugged. "Soon? Xander I've been in love with Buffy for years
now. Over a fucking decade. No, I don't think it's too soon."

"Maybe not for you, but what about Buffy? I mean, you guys just moved in
together six months ago!"

Spike sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Don't make me any more
nervous than I already am."

"Spike, I'm not saying not ever do it, I'm just saying maybe wait a while.
Give it a few more months."

"No, I want to do it now. I feel it. It's the right time. I've been right so far
haven't I? I was right to tell Buffy I loved her—"

"Because that worked so well when you did."

Spike went on, ignoring him. "And I was right when I asked her to move in
with me. And now I know I'm right in asking her to marry me."

"How are you going to do it?"

"The classic way. Bended knee and all that. She's a sap underneath it all
you know? Going to do it the right way and give my girl the best."

"I wish you luck."





She comes home to me after a hard night's work
Falls in my arms and sleeps like a bird
Startled, she wakes up, like she don't know me
Cocks back her fist like she's going to slug me
Like, who are you anyway
And what are you doing to me?


"So, Buffy, how are things going with Spike and the whole living together thing?" Xander asked non-chalantly as they watched Spike perform. This was one of her favorite songs by him, and even though she'd heard it a million times, it didn't mean she wanted to be interrupted just then to chat with Xander.

She's an angel
But she can't see it
She's got wings,
But she can't feel 'em
She's an angel
But she can't see itBut she's flying above me every day
Every day of my life

"Great, everything's fine," she told him absently as she gazed at Spike
adoringly from the stage. He was so beautiful and amazing.

Bright diamond eyes with daggers beneath them
She carries the chains of a million decisions
They weren't even hers to begin with anyway
But she carries them all
All the people around her
Never even notice that she's very very tired

"So things are well then…moving at a good pace for you?"

"Yep, perfect. He's got to be the most patient man ever."

"Yeah, sometimes," Xander muttered.

"Can I tell you something Xander?"

"Anything Buffster."

She's an angel
But she can't see it
She's got wings
But she can't feel 'em
She's an angel
But she can't see it
But she's flying above me every day
Every day of my life

"He's the One." And she went back to watching Spike sing his heart out.
Xander grinned. Maybe Spike wasn't wrong after all.




Spike listened happily as Buffy chattered on and on about how great his performance was and how she had other venues lined up for him along with a radio show interview at one of Boston's hottest rock stations. Soon he'd be climbing the charts.

"Pet, can we put shop away for a while?"

She nodded and wrapped her arms around him. "Sure. Did you want to go
out for a bit? You must have energy to expend from all the adrenaline."

"I do, but I don't want to go out. I have other ideas on how to expend that
energy," and he nipped at her shoulder causing her to giggle.

"You always have other ideas on how to expend that energy."

"Complainin'?"

"Never," she whispered in his ear and sucked his earlobe in his mouth.

"Because I have to say, seeing you up on stage with that guitar, and hearing
your sexy voice all night . . . that was some good foreplay for me."

Spike groaned on a chuckle. "Oh luv, you're killing me here."

"That's the plan."

"I love you, my little minx."

She smiled triumphantly at him. "Let's go home and celebrate hmmm?"

Nodding dazedly, Spike followed Buffy out the door.



His hands were trembling, he noticed as he tried to work their key into the
lock. God, that sounded so nice. THEIR key. Their home. One day,
hopefully, their house would have children in it and wedding pictures all
over the damn place.

"Spike, are you all right? You're shaking," Buffy noted with concern as
Spike finally got the door open. She took his hands in hers. "You cold?"

He shook his head. "Baby, can you give me a minute on the balcony? I
want to make it all romantic like."

She smiled and nodded. "I'll go change."

"Okay, luv."

His heart racing, he went to the kitchen and took out two wineglasses,
champagne, and collected some candles. Making his way outside, he placed
the candles along the floor, outlining the balcony and lit them. Pouring some
champagne, he waited for Buffy. He was bursting at the seams as he felt
inside his pocket for the black velvet box with her ring inside. The ring he
hoped she'd accept. God, what if she didn't? What if she said no? Then what
would he do? Now that he had her love, he didn't think he could go back to
not having it. It'd kill him. He'd die. He'd be a shell of a man without her.

He took small comfort in Xanders seeming change of heart before leaving
that night. He seemed to think all would end well.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she came out onto the balcony, her thigh
length red satin robe tied around her securely, her hair tumbling down in
waves around her face.

He stared at her, transfixed. "Buffy, you blind me."

She smiled, then took in her surroundings. "Spike…this is so nice. All
romantic like," she teased and took the glass of champagne she offered him.
"To your concert being a success tonight," she raised her glass.

"To you. The best thing that could have happened to me," he clinked his
glass against hers and she blushed.

"Buffy, come over here please," he told her, taking her hand and bringing
her closer to him.

"What's up?"

He took a deep breath and gazed into her eyes. "I love you Buffy."

She smiled, I know. I love you too."

"I knew I loved you the minute I saw you and it's never changed, never
faded. I'm going to love you for the rest of my life, Buffy. Just you, and only
you. When you became my PR girl and we went away to New York, it was a
bloody revelation for me. I realized on that trip that you could possibly feel
something for me too and that I'd do anything to keep you by my side.
Forever." Kneeling down in front of her, he heard her soft gasp, but pressed
on. Taking her hand in his, he kissed it. "Buffy Anne Summers, you are the
love of my life. You are the one I've dreamt of, the one I've longed for, the
only one I've ever needed and wanted. I can't imagine spending my life
without you and I don't want to, ever." He reached into his pocket and took
out the box. Opening it to reveal a Princess cut diamond, he held it out to
her and watched as she put her hands over her mouth and tears welled up
in her eyes. "Buffy, will you marry me and make me the luckiest man in the
world?"

Her gaze finally met his and she gushed, "yes, yes. Oh Spike . . . William . . .
William, yes, I'll marry you."

Spike was up in a heartbeat, taking her hand and gliding the ring on with
shaky fingers. The instant the ring was on, he was all over her, kissing her
breathlessly, peppering her lovely face with kisses and holding her tightly
against him just in case she disappeared like a dream.

"Buffy, Buffy, Buffy, I love you. My Princess . . . My love . . . Do anything
for you I would," he muttered as he kissed her senseless. Hoisting her up,
she wrapped her legs around his and he stumbled in through the sliding
door.

"Spike! The candles."


"They'll blow out, they're in votive holders. It's fine pet."

That seemed enough for her. She pressed her lips against his and they
made it into the bedroom. Descending as one beast onto their bed, Spike
couldn't seem to touch her enough. He felt like it was their first time all
over again. Buffy was his. All his. She was going to marry him. She was
going to be his wife. She was going to have his ring on her finger and marry
him. She was his forever now. He pulled back and gazed at her reverently.

"What?" she asked, her face flushed and eyes darkened with desire. He
could see her love for him shining through her.

His eyes pricked with tears. "I've waited for you for so long . . . "he
murmured, caressing the side of her face and running his hand through her
hair. "Don't ever wake me up if I'm dreaming."

She shook her head. "You're not dreaming. I'm right here and I'm not
going anywhere. For as long as you've waited for me, I've waited for you
too. I just didn't know it . . . You're the only one for me. You're simply the

One."

Kissing her hungrily, Spike set about worshipping his love. Every kiss,
every touch, every caress was like a worship service for his Buffy. When
their bodies joined, Spike felt his heart expand so much, he thought it'd
burst out of his chest. Not caring how much of a ponce he was making of
himself he let the tears drop from his eyes and soak into her skin. She
kissed them away and he assured her they were happy tears. She held him
close to her as they moved together and when they reached the climax of
their devotion to each other, she had tears in her eyes as well.





So, I'm thinking I might have another chapter to this in me yet...I'd just like to ask you guys what you'd like to see...Wedding, A window into their life a year from now, a birth? Let me know!!! Majority rules....it's my thank you to you guys for leaving me such wonderful reviews. You guyrs are the best.

A/N: Gotta say, I'm really going to miss this one. I had so much fun writing it. I wanted to thank the ones that took the time to review this story. You guys are the best and it meant so much to me.
I decided to add a little bit of everything to this one as much as I could (thank you Kimber, you helped with that one!) Here it is....

First Anniversary

Since it was the first anniversary of their marriage, they'd discussed the options: Dinner, dancing. . . Both too traditional – and lets face it, they were anything but traditional. Besides, traditions like that—unless organized by Spike – tended to fall flat on its face before it could lift off.


Then Spike suggested an activity that had Buffy laughing and beaming.
New York. The place where they'd started on the crazy journey of their
lives together.

"Remember when your dad did YMCA with my mom?" Buffy giggled as
she sat next to her husband on the plane, her head resting on his shoulder.
He chuckled at the memory. "I can't remember the last time I saw her
laugh like that."


"For my dad too. And hey, how bout my matchmaking skills with my dear

old cousin and Xander?" Spike pointed out.



"Please! I came up with that idea long before you did. I just let you think

you set them up."



He pinched her arm lightly and she let out a little yelp.



"Now, now kitten. Gotta be quiet before everyone thinks we're trying to

join the mile high club."



Her blush caused Spike to grin widely. He loved that his wife could still

blush at sexual innuendo's like that.



Chewing on her bottom lip, he knew she was thinking something.



"What?" he encouraged.



Wordlessly, she grabbed the blanket next to her. She looked around, no

one else in first class thanks to Spike for having bought it out. So why not

utilize it right? She draped it over their laps.



He raised an eye brow. "What are you up to luv?"



"Hi, my name is Buffy Marsters and I'll be your host on this flight."



He grinned. "And what is the flight called?"



"The Mile High Club flight," and she eased her hand into his lap.



His eyes rolling in the back of his head caused her to grin wickedly.







Spike strolled out of the bathroom, steam following him. "Pet, you

should've joined me," he told her as he started hunting for his dress pants

in his suitcase. "I would've behaved." He looked over at her sitting on the
bed ramrod straight a hand on her belly.


"Pet? You all right?"


Her gaze jerked to his, as if just realizing he was there. "Yeah, I'm fine."

He cocked his head to the side. "Sure?"


She nodded," yeah, uh, you get dressed, I'll be quick." And she practically
ran to the bathroom.


Spike rolled his eyes. "Right, you'll be quick," he called after her.
"Definitely not that, kitten." His memory switched back to the time they'd
been here before and she'd launched into the shower and back, all to make
it in time for an interview. God, that time seemed so long ago. Back then all
he could do was hope and pray she'd learn to love him back. Never in a
million years had he expected to be where he was now. Yeah, he was
successful in his career, but the only thing that mattered in his life was his
Buffy. Keeping her happy was his main priority and so far he hadn't
mucked it up. The girl he once thought he'd die loving unrequitedly loved
him back whole heartedly. He grinned to himself and reached into the
bottom of his suitcase. Taking out blindfold he hummed to himself. He had
one surprise for his beautiful wife tonight.



"Spike, I don't know about this," she told him as he wrapped the blindfold around her head after dinner was over.


"Pet, when have I ever led you astray?" he whispered huskily in her ear as
he knotted the blindfold loosely.


"That's a loaded question if I ever heard one," she retorted.

He chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose. "Trust me, pet." And then he
took her hands in his and guided her outside. She clung to his arm with her
other hand, trying to find her equilibrium. Much like the first time they'd
been there and she'd leaned on him for protection.


He'd noticed during dinner she'd been a bit jumpy and a tad quiet. She'd
joined him in reminiscing about their picture perfect white wedding, but
just the same she was distracted. As if she had something to say, but
couldn't find the right way to say it. He'd wait. If he knew his wife, she'd
find a way to say what was on her mind eventually. Meantime, he hoped to
loosen her up.


"I think we still have a slice of our wedding cake in the freezer," she mused
absently as he guided her along the sidewalk.


"Think it's still good?"

"I don't know. I just want to mash it in your face like you did to me at the
reception."


He laughed. "You were an open target, what was I supposed to do?"

"Put it in my mouth nicely like I did to you?"


"Now Buffy, that wouldn't be me if I followed the rules and played nice.
Kind of reminiscent of the Jell-O in the hair eh?"


He knew she was rolling her eyes behind that blindfold.

Finally reaching their destination, he brought her closer to him and guided her inside the establishment.


She sniffed the air.

"What are you doing, Nancy Drew?" he asked, rumbling in her ear, taking
delight in the shiver that coursed through her.


"Relying on my other senses to tell me where I am."

Stepping into the room, he slipped the knot undone. "Wonder no longer."


She gasped. "You brought me to a strip club?!"

"Not just ANY strip club Buffy. THE strip club. The place where I first told
you I was in love with you and had for what feels like my entire life."


She shook her head, "Spike, I don't like this idea."

He frowned. "What is it? I thought you'd like it."


"I don't think this is the place for me anymore."

"What are talking about? Buffy, I'm just trying to recapture that
weekend." He noticed she was clutching her stomach. "Are you sick? Buffy,
what is going on?"


She turned to him, "I feel dirty being here."

"Buffy, it's not a big deal. You had no problems the first time—"


"I wasn't a mother then!"

His eyes bugged and he stood frozen, staring at her. "What?"


"I found out tonight while you were in the shower. I missed a period but I
figured it was stress. I had a check up the other day and the doctor wanted
to take a test just in case. I gave him my cell number and he called while
you were in the shower. "


"You're pregnant?"

She nodded. "I was a little stunned. I didn't expect it. I know you have a
tour coming up and it's a bad time but –"


"I'm going to be a father!" Spike shouted at the top of his lungs. Silence fell
over the club as everyone turned to stare at the couple.


"Spike," Buffy hung her head, mortified. "Now is really not—"

"Hear that? Me, a dad. See this woman? This is my beautiful wife, Buffy.
Bloody brilliant and perfect, she is. Loved her forever, I have and now she's
the mother of my baby. Our baby. OURS. "


Buffy grabbed his arm and dragged him outside before he could make even
more of a spectacle of them. "Spike, honestly, what is it with you and big
announcements?"


Grabbing her, Spike wrapped his arms around her then backed off. "Am I
crushing you? Hurting you?"


"Spike, I'm pregnant. I'm not going to break."

Lifting her off the ground, he twirled her around. She couldn't help but
giggle at his antics. He set her down on the ground and cupped her face in
his hands. "Just when I think you couldn't make me any happier, you prove
me wrong."


She smiled, "Same here."

"I'm ready to dance up and down this sodding sidewalk and announce it to
the world singing in the rain style that I am the husband of the most
incredible woman in the world that she has just made me a father."


His earnestness caused tears of joy to burst forth. "Can you just kiss me
before you get all Gene Kelly on me? I want to hold onto the most
incredible man in the world that just made me a mother."


"Whatever you wish, my love. What you wish, I'll make come true."

"You already have," Buffy whispered just before covering his lips with
hers.



THE END



Can I shamelessly plug my new fic "My one and Only" here and beg you guys to read that one too? lol