Car Trouble 6 - La-La Land By the Kings of Mercia



Chapter 1

“NO! No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! I categorically refuse, and that’s my FINAL answer!” Spike scowled and folded his arms. Buffy grinned and tried to make light

“Sure you don’t want to ask the audience, phone a friend?”

“Buffy!”

“Alright! But it’s not too much to ask!”

“But it IS!” Spike said indignantly, with all the distain he could muster, his voice going higher with every word.

“I thought you liked staying here”

“I do! But only when you’re here, I’m not, repeat NOT babysitting the whelp coz he thinks Anya’s reverted to type and is going to go all revengy on him!
It’ll blow over I’m sure, she’s upset is all.”

“She’s found out that not only can’t she have the blood lava and burlap, for the wedding, she can’t have the goat sacrifice, the ritual with the live chicken’s blood an the self flagellation by Xander on the Altar, plus a host of other weird practices that she can’t do!” Buffy explained

“WHAT? Oh gods…have you ever seen a vengeance demon in full-on mode, hmm? Not a pretty sight I can tell you!”

“See, that’s why I need someone strong to be here” Buffy reasoned

“Well don’t think I’M protecting him, if she comes here, she can have him to do what she likes with! In fact, I’d even hold him still for her if that’s what she wanted!”

“Spike – don’t be so…evil”

“Evil – but that’s me! Evil personified – I’m the Big Bad, the biggest, baddest badass motherf – huh?”

“Please baby…hmm – for me………hmmmmmmm………” Buffy undid a couple of buttons on her blouse, sidled over to Spike and began to kiss him, rubbing herself up against him. Spike’s thoughts shattered into a million pieces, he always lost the power of coherent thought when anything remotely sexual began to take place between him and Buffy.

“Did I tell you I went to Victoria’s Secret today………” Buffy whispered, biting his earlobe, before kiss/biting down his throat as her arms encircled his neck.

“Uh…really – oh – OH do that again!”

Buffy smiled and bit his neck again, sucking hard leaving a purplish hickey.

This made Spike instantly hard, and he pulled her close, grinding his crotch towards her.

Xander suddenly burst in on them

“Buffy, have you got anymore Chunky Monkey ice- OH!”

Buffy jumped away from Spike, and Spike almost fell over onto the couch with the loss of Buffy.

“Fuckin’…OOOHHH – Can I kill him now and save time and Anya the bother!”

Flustered, Buffy tried to make herself look presentable, and she turned to face Xander, whose eyes bugged as she’d forgotten she’d undone some buttons…

Spike stood and glared at the whelp as he called him, and noticed what he was staring at, and with indignance, Spike shielded Buffy and hissed,

“Buttons! Do yourself up! – Haven’t you heard of knocking, Whelp?”

“Sorry, sorry – I um…but what could I knock on – you’re in the lounge, and-“

“Look, never mind that now, what do you want, we were BUSY”

“Chunky Monkey. It’s an ice cream, I was just wondering if Buffy had any more” Xander asked lamely.

“Give me strength!” Spike muttered under his breath, running a hand through his hair.

Buffy still beet red said something about there being more ice cream in the chest freezer in the garage.

“Thanks…” Xander trailed out and Buffy turned to Spike, who pounced on her again

“Look, I’ve got to do some packing………Sp-Spike, no, st-stop, ooh!” Buffy tried to push Spike off from kissing her neck, he knew that ALWAYS got her going.

“How long will you be in LA then – Oh sorry!” Xander had wandered back into the lounge with a pint tub of the aforementioned ice cream. Being interrupted a second time Spike was ready to go tear Xander a couple of new ones…

“For fuckssake!” Spike threw himself backwards against the sofa cushions and Buffy wiggled and pulled down her skirt.

“I’ll go sit in the kitchen” Xander suggested meekly and disappeared again.

“Hold on…did he say LA?” Spike sat up and glared at Buffy

“Um…two days, three tops, and when I come home, I PROMISE I’ll show you what I bought in Victoria’s Secret”

“I thought you said this was a slayer thing” Spike said

“It IS!”

Spike stood and faced her and said angrily,

“You KNOW what I mean! I mean a Giles or a Council Wanker’s thing…this is an Angel thing, isn’t it”

Buffy looked at the floor, she twiddled her thumbs and tried to think before she answered

“Well, okay yes, but it does need-“

“Ah-ha! I KNEW it, you just want me out of the way so you can get all pally-wally with the poof again!”

“No, it’s not that, there’s a problem, Angel has a problem and-“

“Huh, Newsflash blondie, Angel has HUNDREDS of problems!” Spike sniped

“I mean a demon problem!”

“What, and your telling me he and his little band of vigilantes can’t cope – pathetic he is!”

“No, I mean yes, I mean…look, remember when he came here, before the race?”

“How could I forget?” Spike began to pad around the sofa. Buffy was wringing her hands trying to explain

“Well, he told me that there might be something big going down. Not apocalyptic world-ending going down, but he said he’d like me there all the same”

“I bet he would, the po-faced, sticky-up haired, lily-livered, porky, pug ugly, poor excuse of a vampire, stupid poofter of a wanker he IS!” Spike just stopped short of kicking over the coffee table

“Spike, I said I’d help, as a slayer, it’s my duty to” Buffy added quietly. Spike knew Buffy took her duty seriously.

“Well then, I suggest we ALL go” Spike said

“What – no – no Spike, it’s not apocalyptic, and what about Xander, who’ll look after him?”

“I told you, I’m not his bloody baby-sitter! And if, which I doubt, but if she’s reverted to type, well, even if I wanted to, there isn’t a thing I could do to stop her”

“You could try”

“Buffy! Will you listen to me? Vengeance demon have powers – did you know they can teleport? Zap, a quick snap of the fingers, and BANG – they’re there, where ever they want to be in the cosmos, she could appear ANYWHERE, at ANYTIME”

Having heard their arguing, Xander wandered in still eating the ice cream and he leant on the doorjamb.

“He’s right Buffy………Anya could just pop up and do her stuff”

“Anyway, that aside, I don’t think she’s reverted back to being a vengeance demon anyway” Spike said

Xander looked hopeful and stood up from leaning against the door

“You don’t?”

“No…Anya…or rather Anyanka is/was a fun time girl. There would be talk in the demon bars – hell, there would be orgies and partying a revelry and…” Spike couldn’t stop his grin from growing, until he saw the two worried faces looking at him, it fell from his face and he added,

“She’s away licking her wounds, she’s disappointed. She’ll be back when she misses the ker-ching of the cash register…how long has she been gone?”

“Three days now”

“Either that cash register, or when her batteries run flat then”

“Batteries? What batteries – what are you on about?”

“Her VIBRATOR!”

“What – NOW JUST YOU HOLD ON - how do you know she’s got – she would NEVER –“

“Oh but she” Spike caught Buffy’s deer-in-the-headlights look and relented.

He couldn’t let out the secret that Buffy had given Anya ‘the Rabbit’, a vibrator she’d bought for herself but didn’t need once she’d given in and taken up with Spike.

“Well, I’m just presuming, she’s high-maintenance that girl, always banging on about banging, I just figured…look, don’t look at me like that whelp, I’m NOT apologising, and I’m not babysitting you either – you got yourself into the shit, you get yourself out of it, I’M going to LA with Buffy”

“But-“ Buffy began

“No buts Buffy – I’m sure you need somebody strong at your back, and you can’t count on the poof, he’ll be all over the cheerleader”

Buffy couldn’t think of a reasonable argument so she shrugged, and what Spike said was probably true, Angel would be more bothered with Cordelia than her, and spike was the best fighter she knew, after herself of course…

“Okay then. Xander, do you want to come too?”

“What, NO!” Spike said, frowning

“Yes, I’ll ask Willow too – we all might as well go”

“Me help Angel – oh goodie…welcome to the hell that is my life” Xander said wearily. Spike did a double take and frowned at first, and then he grinned

“So whelp, you’re not an Angel fan either then?”

“Let’s just say when he moved to LA, we didn’t become pen-pals”

“Hello, hello! Oh, Hi Xander, Buffy, Spike. So, what’s new?”

Willow put down her bag and laptop on the hall table.

“We’re going to LA” Xander said

“Who is?”

“We are, all of us, you, me Buffy and Spike”

“We are? Oh, okay then – apocalypse?” Willow asked

“Yeah…the cheerleader broke a nail!” Spike quipped

“Huh?” Xander looked blankly at Spike

“Long story, one for another time, come on then if we’re going, we need to pack, two hours, everybody back here and ready to go” Buffy said firmly.

Spike followed Buffy upstairs.

“We are going in your car then Pet, there is NO WAY I’m letting the whelp anywhere near my Desoto – but I’ll drive”

“The hell you will, my car, I’M driving”

“No way”

“Yes, way”

“Nuh uh, too fond of my existence to let you drive!”

“Right that IS IT! Any more comments on my driving, and you aren’t coming at all!”

“Oh yes I am”

“NOT”

“Am too!”


Meanwhile, downstairs………

“Can we go in your car Xander, I couldn’t stand them bickering all the way to LA”

“Sure, it’ll be great just the two of us!” Xander and Willow beamed at each other.

Back upstairs however…………

“………Most egotistical, pig-headed, stubborn – ooohh! You make me SO – ooh!”

Spike grabbed her while she was in full rant mode and kissed her neck, and murmured,

“Gods, you are SO beautiful when you’re angry!”

Buffy having been turned on before downstairs when she began to kiss him before Xander interrupted them was desperate for him now, and in her eagerness, she ripped his tee shirt from him, and began to claw at his belt.

Soon they were both naked and Spike could smell her arousal, he knew she didn’t need any more foreplay other than for him to nuzzle at her breasts and suck her nipples. She arched her back as entered her hot depths, they both cried out, Buffy because he was so big, and Spike because she was so hot and tight…

“Oh, gods…oh, oh yeah…oh, that’s…ah, good…no………better, oh, oh, much bet-ter than…good…oh gods, yeah!”

Spike lifted her legs up, pushing them up towards her chest, so he could plunge in deep and hard. She cried out a tooth-rattler of an orgasm, and he didn’t stop.

Downstairs, Willow and Xander made a tactful exit to go and pack…

Buffy had her legs scissored around his waist, her nails clawed at his back leaving raised welts, she was incoherent with want and begged him to make her come again.

More than happy to oblige Spike speeded up his thrusts and slipped his hand between them, seeking where they were joined, he slowly, SLOWLY circled her clit with his thumb.

The sensation for Buffy was almost unbearably good, it was almost too much and she bucked and cried out her way through a tremendous orgasm when she felt Spike’s huge cock swell and knew he was passed the point of no return.

She clamped down hard on him and Spike gave her one last almighty thrust and spurted his cool essence inside her.

Both panting, it was only then that Buffy suddenly became mortified that Xander and Willow would have heard them

“Spike!”

“Give me a minute pet, then we can go again, I just need a –“

“No! they’ll have heard us!”

“So your point being?” Spike sat up and grinned

Buffy got up and threw the comforter that had slipped off the bed over Spike’s head. All he caught of what she said as she disappeared out of the room was ‘shower’.

He lay back and grinned…hmm, chance to go and annoy Peaches on his own patch – how satisfying!

Chapter 2



“We thought you’d want privacy, so we’re taking Xander’s car, I’m just waiting for him now!” Willow announced proudly to Buffy from the sofa. Spike immediately brightened at this news, and grinned at Buffy.

“Great, well we’ll see you there then, bye!” Spike headed for the door, until Buffy pulled him back.

“What now?”

“Hold on…there’s things I need to get”

“Such as?”

“Weapons – this IS a slayer thing you know!”

“Well, okay, just dump the contents of your weapons chest into the trunk, we can sort it later, now come on, if we want to make it to there before daybreak”

“Give me a minute! God – how come you’re so eager to get there all of a sudden, hmm?”

“Chance to piss about on the ponce’s patch, I get to fuck with his head, and there’s a good chance of a decent scrap – got you there and he KNOW’S you’re mine - what more could I want?” Spike said, with a huge big smirk on his face.

Buffy rolled her eyes, she was beginning to think that this REALLY wasn’t a good idea taking Spike after all, but then on the other hand, as Spike said himself, if there was a fight then truthfully, there was nobody else in the world she’d want watching her back other than Spike.


Ten minutes later, with a rather loud horn bibbing, Xander arrived. Willow jumped up off the sofa and grabbed her case

“Bye Buffy, Spike, Xander’s here!”

“Bye Will…you do know where this place is, don’t you?”

“Yeah, don’t worry – see you later, bye-ee!”

“Bye Red”

“Bye Will”

“Oh fuck me!” Spike said, glancing out of the window. Buffy was in the process of adding extra weapons in her clothing case, and looked up from tucking in a rather large crucifix next to the underwear pouch.

“What?”

Ever the gentleman, (well, he tried, bless!) Xander jumped up out of his car to help Willow with her case, thus allowing the whole neighbourhood to see his sartorial elegance (or not, it depends on what floats your boat!).

“What DOES he look like………he’s like horse-shit gone wrong that bloke…Hawaiian shirt, Bermuda shorts, and just how big are those shades?”

Buffy craned her neck to look out of the window, and had to press her lips together to stop herself grinning, but she didn’t succeed

“He looks like a tourist!”

“He looks a right wan-“

“SPIKE”

Buffy gave him a warning glare, but then she smiled

“Okay – I’ll just save up all my evilness for Peaches then………and I MUST rub it in about the race!” Spike rubbed his hands with glee and anticipation.

Buffy sighed and hauled her case off the bed. This was going to be the longest 2-3 days in history.

**********



They left ten minutes after in the Desoto, and easily caught up and passed Willow and Xander, having heard the two of them singing along to ‘Holiday’ by Madonna. Spike cranked up the volume on the Sex Pistols he’d got playing, and honked his ‘Wish I was in Dixie’ car horn at them before leaving them behind.

Buffy sat serenely in the front, reading, totally oblivious. Spike glanced at her and wondered why she’d not turned down the music.

It was only when Spike had asked her three times if she wanted to stop, that he pulled in and shook her leg.

“Why have we stopped?” Buffy asked – then not being able to lip-read, she said,

“Hold on…(she removed her ear-plugs) sorry what was that?”

“Earplugs?”

“Um, uh huh – I ought it would be damage limitation – for both of us”

“Eh?”

“Well, I knew you’d either have some tuneless drivel-“

“Be VERY careful what you say about my music, thankyou you little madam!”

“Either tuneless drivel, she repeated, or I’d have to listen to all that you’re going to say to Angel. And as I’d also hear it when I got there, and most probably hear you bragging on the way back about it too, so I just thought I’d save my eardrums and my sanity, hence my little rubber helpers here. So why have we stopped?”

“I WAS going to buy you some chocolate from the 7-11”

“Really, oh good!”

“But after all that cheek – “

“Oh, go on please? Pretty please with sugar on the top?” Buffy ‘walked’ two fingers up Spike’s thigh and she leant forward provocatively and said,

“Oh go on, you know you want to” She had her face very close to his, teasing like she was going to kiss him any second, and before she could say ‘make mine a Snickers bar’, Spike had the seat back flat, he was on top of her and he had his hand up her top!

“Wha-what – oh, ooooohhhhh! Spike!”

“Don’t tease me little girl………Master Vampire here, could be very dangerous!”

Just for effect, he morphed.

Buffy stifled a giggle and squeezed the huge bulge in the front of his pants.

“That right, well Master Vampire, slayer here, but it seems I’m not the only one with something long and hard and pointy!” Spike returned to his human guise and dropped his head to her neck growling softly. She loved that as it always set her a-shiver.

Spike undid both their jeans and he slipped his hand inside hers to find – no panties!

“Hello…you naughty girl!”

Buffy wriggled and squirmed at his questing fingers, panting out how she was taking a leaf out of his book by going what ever the female equivalent of ‘commando’ was – it would save her a fortune in ripped thongs.

There was just something about them doing it in the car, it always made them super-randy!

Buffy bucked and writhed against Spike’s hand, he’d slid two fingers inside her and was swiping his thumb back and forth over her clit. Buffy had drawn Spike’s huge cock out of his jeans and began to suck and pump lustily at the hard shaft. Neither lasted long and they both cried out in unison their mutual orgasms.

Spike shifted to his seat, and Buffy cranked hers back up to sitting position after quickly doing her jeans up.

“Now, I do believe you said you were going to buy me chocolate!” She said with a grin

Spike thrust his feet into the footwell, raised his hips and did up his jeans, flopped back to sitting and indicated towards the glove compartment.

“In there pet”

“What – you mean you had some all the time?”

Spike started the car and pulled out

“Yup…don’t you think I know how to treat my girl by now, huh?”

Buffy smiled and opened the dashboard compartment and found a stash of all her favourites, Snickers, Chocolate covered honeycomb, and some peanut butter cups.

“Hmm, yummy…here, want some?” They shared what was there and Spike didn’t feel the need to blast music or talk about Angel, and they just chatted generally. They arrived at Wolfram and Hart at 4.45am.

Angel was informed of ‘their’ arrival by security telling him that they were parked in bay 8 of the car park.

“They, sorry, what do you mean…hold on, what car is it?”

“Black Desoto, sir”

“What – oh bloody hell!”

“Sir? – Is there something wrong?”

“Yes there – no, um no Clive, thankyou, that will be all”

“Um, sir…they just informed me that there will be two others arriving soon…a hold on………and Mr Xander Harris and a Miss Willow Rosenberg, shall I let them in?”

“What? Oh good grief…”

“Sir?”

“Yes, Clive, it will be alright!” Angel put down the phone. This was ALL he needed, the bleached wonder and the whiney little No. 1 fan club of Buffy’s. – Willow could be useful though…he heard the lift activated and buzzed for Wesley and Gunn to be in the ‘welcoming’ party.

The lift announced it arrival on the 7th floor with a ‘TING’ and the doors silently slid open

“Turn right the security guy said…and it’s one two, three, ahh this is it Spike” Buffy located Angel’s office door. Spike was looking all around, giving the place the once-over twicely!

“Poncy git” Spike muttered taking in the magnolia walls with abstract art prints, the huge potted plants and the wooden parquet flooring.

Buffy knocked and Angel opened the door

“Buffy, how nice of you to come…Spike”

“Granddad” Spike said, with a big false grin.

Angel closed his eyes but didn’t rise to the bait

“Take a seat. Coffee?” he asked going over to the Kenco machine

“Erm…not for me, thanks – I could go a mineral water or something” They both sat on one of the black leather couches.

“And I’ll have something stronger” Spike said

Keeping his temper against Spike, Angel took out a bottle of spring water from the mini fridge and a glass from the cocktail cabinet, and poured Spike a decent measure of Scotch – it was a very good one too, a 40 year old malt, not that for a second did Angel think that Spike would appreciate it…

“So, this thing – it’s started, huh?” Buffy opened her water and poured.

Angel leant against his desk and sipped his coffee before saying,

“Well, we-ah good, Wes, Gunn, glad you’re here, I was just about to explain what’s happening to – oh excuse me………hello Clive…they have, oh good, send them on up – that was security, Willow has arrived – well, I might as well wait until we are all here I suppose, save keep going over everything”

Angel and Wesley had a quiet chat, but not quiet enough for Spike not to miss the posh English accent.

“Who’s that?”

“Wesley Wyndham-Price, he was Faith’s watcher originally” Buffy whispered back

“Well fuck me sideways…its another younger looking Giles! There really MUST be somewhere in England that churns ‘em out, all la-de-bloody-da!”

“Spike, shut up!” Buffy hissed, but she wanted to smile, and Spike knew this. He shrugged, sipped his whisky and the door opened and Willow and Xander came in.

“You made good time whelp, didn’t think that old rust-bucket of yours had it in it!”

“Oh ha-ha!” Xander sneered and sat on the couch next to Willow. Angel could feel the vein begin to pulse at his temple already…

“People! Can we get on please, first, Wes, get them a drink would you, thanks. Right where do I start…………

Chapter 3


Gunn joined Wesley at the drinks cabinet and whispered,

“Is that guy okay – I mean, have you SEEN what he’s wearing?!!”

Wesley gave a little shrug and poured drinks.

“I’ll get to the point, we have a demon moved in around here, it’s um, well, it’s a little unusual” Angel said

“In what way?” Buffy asked

“Well, it’s – oh – um this must be Cordelia now, lets see what she’s found out”

The lift opened and Cordelia came straight into the office, she was dressed like a whore! She was wearing a sequin covered boob tube, a VERY short skirt, and thigh high leather boots.

Xander’s eyes nearly popped. Spike grinned until Buffy elbowed him in the ribs, and Willow was open mouthed with shock.

“Wow, Cordy – what happened to you – you never looked like that when we were dating!” Xander said, Cordelia twirled round mortified that not only Buffy and Spike were there, but Willow and Xander too!

“Oh my god - ANGEL! – And for the record, we never DATED Xander! We, we were just at the same place sometimes at the same time! Oh gods”

Xander looked hurt, Willow scowled and mentally renewed her vice presidency membership of the ‘We Hate Cordelia Club’, Buffy sat there bemused, and Spike made some quip about her having to go out moonlighting as Angel obviously wasn’t paying her enough. Gunn was surprised that Cordelia would even look twice at somebody like the prat in the Hawaiian shirt sitting opposite him………


“I’ve been out, on a job!” Cordelia said

“You don’t say!” Spike said dryly, arching a brow.

“No, a special undercover job!”

“What, looking like that? – Yeah, right, sure you’d blend right in, pet!” Buffy and Willow smiled at Spike’s comments, and horrified beyond belief, Cordy grabbed Angel by the elbow and hissed,

“Why didn’t you TELL me they were coming!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know myself – look what did you find out?”

“They’re recruiting alright. Hundreds, dancers, strippers, busboys, bar staff, croupiers, every sort of person needed to run a club”

“I see. But you didn’t get to see the boss himself?”

Cordy shook her head and said,

“Nuh uh, just some guys that look like they’ve stepped out of a Capone movie, striped dark suits, hats with white bands pulled down over their eyes were doing the hiring, but we’ll see the boss on Friday”

Angel’s brows rose and he said,

“Yeah?”

“Uh huh, all staff hired will meet ‘The Boss’ on Friday, we’ve been briefed only to speak when spoken to, never answer him back, and to be respectful at all times”

“Okay, you go get changed, I’ll go tell the others” Angel went back over to sit behind his desk.

Buffy and Willow were talking very quietly.

“………Well I’ve just renewed my vice-presidency of the ‘We Hate Cordelia’ club!” Willow said, and Buffy smiled, remembering their High School days.

Yawning, Buffy said to Angel, who’d just sat down

“Well, are you going to tell us SOMETIME today what’s happening?”

“Well, there’s a guy, a demon moved in, taken over all the clubs in the city. Now he’s recruiting for staff, its all a front for human trafficking to the demon world. Apparently he intends to get them under his influence somehow, then ship them to various dimensions as slaves and a food source”

“Clubs – what sort of clubs?” Willow asked

“Night clubs, lap-dancing clubs, casino’s, strip joints, even ordinary bars”

“So, this demon guy got a name?” Buffy asked

“That’s the thing, we don’t know yet, he doesn’t do his own hiring and firing, he has his boys to do it for him, Cordy just went to try for one of the dancing jobs, he’ll be here on Friday” Angel explained

Buffy and Spike exchanged looks, and Spike piped up, just as Cordelia re-entered the office dressed in black pants and a soft red roll-neck sweater.

“You mean to tell me, you let your woman out to do a reccie on her OWN – without back-up? Bloody hell, Angel you’re ALL heart!”

“I can look after myself!” Cordelia said, but she looked from Spike to her co-workers with uncertainty, could she have been in any danger was her first thought.

“We don’t know who we’re dealing with!” Angel said, but realised that was a very lame excuse, and Spike stood and went over to the drinks cabinet.

“All the more bloody reason TO have sent somebody with her then! And when are you going to get some decent Scotch – it might be forty year old, but the Glenlivet is a far smoother drop than this gargle”

Despite what he said about it, Spike practically filled his tumbler to the top.

“They’re only recruiting for now, the trafficking hasn’t started yet”

“Spike…do you think it could possibly be ‘you know who?’” Buffy said

“Yeah, you mean the guy with the rough skin, sharp teeth and a decidedly fishy line in halitosis? Yup, we know who it is, it’s his MO all right – plus Clem said something to me last week”

“What, who, tell us!” Wesley said, and Angel leant forward across his desk

“If you know, then tell us”

“Tell him babe” Spike said, still leaning on the cocktail bar sipping his drink

“It’s a guy called Sharkman…used to be a small time gangster, his ‘boys’ run round in Zoot-suits looking like Al Capone’s henchmen – he seems to have taken a step up from kitten poker”

As one, Wesley, Gunn and Angel all repeated,

“Kitten poker?” Spike swallowed the last of the Scotch with a wince and said,

“Long story, now what do you want, him dead or run out of town?”

All eyes left Buffy and settled on Spike.

“What do you mean? – We don’t have the resources to –“

“Look, it’s a simple question, do you want Sharkman dead, or just off your pretty little patch here?”

“Don’t think you can swan in here, and take over our investigations like you know everything!” Angel spluttered

“Look, Angel, either you do or you don’t need our help, Spike and I have dealt with him before, make your mind up! Now, it’s very late, and I’m tired, so would you be so kind as to show us to our rooms, we can reconvene in the morning, say 11.30?” Buffy stood

“Rooms – I um, well, I just thought the sofa in the lounge in my apartment upstairs, I didn’t know you were bringing HIM, but-“

“That’ll do, won’t be the first time we’ve fallen asleep on a couch, will it pet?”

“What about us?” Willow asked

A smile came to Angel’s face, he knew how to curtail any ideas Spike had to keep himself and Cordelia awake with his and Buffy’s ‘sexploits’, and he said,

“Don’t worry, I have two reclining chairs in the lounge too, they’re very comfy, you can have those”

Spike scowled and he whispered to Buffy,

“We’ll see about that!”

*****************

As Angel lead the way down a hallway one floor up from where they had been, Spike soon found the door that lead to Angel’s bedroom, and grabbing Buffy by the elbow, Spike opened the door and said,

“Well, night all, see you later!” He pulled Buffy in and slammed the door shut and locked it.

Incensed, Angel stalked back down the hallway and hammered on the door with his fist

“Oi, come out of there, that’s MY bedroom! Spike, open the bloody – I’ll kick it in!”

Buffy grinned, and from the other side of the locked door, Spike said laughingly,


“Look, Peaches, Buffy’s come all the way here to help you, and you offer her a couch? – Besides which, we want to discuss tactics, and we don’t want to keep poor Xander and Willow awake, now do we, hmm – I mean, they might be very useful too!”

Cordelia joined Angel and rolled her eyes.

“Let them have the room, besides which, I want to talk to YOU” She poked him in the shoulder, and Angel mashed his lips together and stomped down to the lounge.

Xander was already laid back on one of the recliners, and Willow was taking her shoes off.

“We’ll have to go back down to the office if you want to talk” Angel said to Cordelia.

“I’ll leave you to give them blankets and I’ll see you down there then!”

Angel was annoyed. Very annoyed at Spike having got the better of him AGAIN, and now it looked like Cordelia was going to give him what for, for sending her on a what might have been dangerous job alone…

Chapter 4


“Come on…let’s christen it, I bet it doesn’t see much action from the poof, anyway!” Spike grinned and thrust his hips up and down several times, bouncing on Angel’s bed.

“Spike! You are incorrigible!”

“Oh go on…you know you want to…I’ve only got to do this to you and – hey, come back!”

Buffy had slid off the bed and stood by the en-suite bathroom door

“I want a shower”

“Okay then…I’ll join you!” When she didn’t object, Spike was undressed and in the cubicle in a trice.

“Hmm, bit cramped, but, I can still do………this!” he dropped his hand between her naked thighs.

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!” Spike was pleased that it was all echoey.

Buffy supported herself holding Spike around the neck, while he stroked and probed her soft moist parts, bringing her to a swift orgasm with his fingers………

The cubicle was really only meant for one person, and not having the room to wrap her legs around him, they showered off quickly and retired back to the bedroom.

“We really should get some rest, we have a busy day”

“Don’t worry kitten, old Spikey has a plan!”

“You do?”

“Oh yes…just don’t worry your pretty little head about things, now come here!”

Buffy grinned and sidled up to him and began to kiss him passionately.

Gently pushing her backwards, Spike braced his knee against the mattress so as not to crush her, and Buffy lay back on the bed.

Chuckling, a deep rumble vibrated in his chest, and he began to kiss her, soft little pecking kisses, all over her face, down her neck, over her throat, to the slope of her pert breasts.

He also stroked with long cool fingers, over her shoulders, he cupped her breast, rolled the nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

He could smell the arousal, it poured out of her, and she undulated her hips. Caressing over her stomach, down to her dark curls, Spike just skirted around her pubic area.
Her legs parted and she began to beg.

“Ah-ah, naughty, you try rush me, and I’ll start back here” he began to kiss her face again. She mewled; he loved that sound, so erotic.

He knelt between her thighs, stroking, and massaging. The apex of her thighs was wet and slightly sticky with her copious arousal, Spike took a long wet lick at them. Buffy felt like she’d been electrocuted, and groaned out.

Quickly he lined himself up and slid inside her to the hilt, he set a fast, hard pace, and Buffy couldn’t believe the sensations that were building again so quickly, so intensely,

“Hold on babe”

He suddenly stopped pulled out about half way and moved so fast but only about an inch, in out, in out, rubbing her G spot, he reached down to where they were joined, and gently pinched her slippery clit, the orgasm that roared through her like a freight train had her screaming so loud, she came so hard so long and so deep.

Satisfied that everybody in the whole building must have heard her, Spike shot spurt after spurt of thick semen into her, his own cries nearly as loud as she milked him of every last drop. Buffy collapsed limply, panting.


******


Downstairs, Angel had had his ear bashing off Cordelia about sending her to what could have been a dangerous job on her own, and now he was expected to listen to Buffy and Spike’s ‘sexploits’ all night – he went over to his stereo and plugged in the headphones so he wouldn’t have to listen.


*******


Not yet content, Spike was still hard, and still buried in her tight wet heat, Buffy rolled them and she took charge, supporting herself with one hand on the headboard of the bed, she bobbed and slowly circled her hips, grinding against his pubic bone, until they both cried out in unison again.

“We better sleep baby”

“Hmm, tired now!”

Spike snuggled up, spooned to her back.


**************


At 11.30am prompt, Buffy and Spike went down to the office.

Cordelia was moodily flicking through a magazine, still slightly ticked off. Angel was dealing with his letters.

“Um, tell me – where did these auditions take place then?” Spike asked Cordelia quietly.

“The Sherington Hotel, they’re there all week recruiting, to meet the boss we have to be there tomorrow night at eight”

“Thanks…” Spike went over to Buffy, who had got them both coffee and a muffin.

“Listen babe, about this plan of mine, what I don’t want, is for Peaches to wade in with his clod-hopping size tens and ruining everything, I’m going to nip out as soon as it’s dark and go see what I can find out, I’ve got an idea where Sharkman maybe hiding out”

“You have, but-“

“Shush…look, I know his style, and also something Clem said, just let me check it out, okay, don’t say anything yet in case nothing comes of it, but if I’m right it could be all done and dusted without too much bother, one quick skirmish and it’ll be all over – but I need to be on my own”

“Don’t put yourself in any danger, though” Buffy said seriously, and Spike grinned

“For Peaches? – NEVER babe! – Remember, keep schtum!”

She nodded and they sat

“So, what are we going to do then, we have to draw up a plan of action” Angel said when Gunn and Wesley, and Xander and Willow joined them.

Spike winked at Buffy and said

“Okay, knowing Sharkman as we do, we’ll need detailed plans of the underground sewer systems and a list of all the bars, clubs etc.” Spike said

“Right, we can do that, can’t we Wesley?” Angel looked to his co-worker for confirmation, who nodded.
And they set about getting the information right away.


************


At 8.30pm, while everybody was having a rest, Spike went out. He’d got everybody wasting time looking for information he didn’t need, but it kept them all busy so he could follow his own agenda later………

He made his way to the hotel Cordelia had told him about, and went inside.

Hanging around, Spike checked out Sharkman’s ‘boys’ and confirmed that he was still using vampires, and going up to one Spike said,

“Hey…you work for Sharkman, yeah?” the vamp looked at Spike, squared his shoulders and nodded

“Yeah, what of it?”

“Oh, nothing…just wondered what he’s paying you, that’s all”

The vamp narrowed his eyes and said,

“What’s it to you?”

“Well, put it like that and I’ll tell you – he’s a rip-off merchant, I swear, he’ll renege on any deal he’s made you – I know, I used to work for him in Sunnydale, and okay, he might have been no more than running a kitten poker
racket there, but he’ll do to you what he did to us – promise you everything and deliver nothing – watch him” Spike walked away.

The vamp to whom Spike had spoken too frowned and called his two colleagues over, and told them what Spike just said.

“Hey…hey friend…” Spike turned and looked at them

“Yeah? – What?”

“Sharkman never worked out of this ‘Sunnydale’, he told us he’d come from Vegas. And kitten poker – get outta here!”

Spike shrugged and said

“You believe what you want…so when’s he paying you?”

The three vamps looked a little discomfited, and then said,

“Well…he said once this things up and running, we’ll have more money than we’ll know what to do with – and a be-au-ti-ful food source!”

The two other vamps grinned, growled and nodded, thinking of all the strippers, lap dancers and waitresses.

Spike just cocked a brow at them and said,

“When this things up and running…yeah, that’s his style, and then it’s (Spike did a bad impersonation of Sharkman) ‘But boys, we gotta run dis ting for a month – see what ‘dese places are makin’ first, and ‘I can’t let you have all de best girls! Dey need to dance, bring in de punters!’ Spike went to walk off again.

The three vamps frowned, obviously, even though it was a bad impersonation, this guy knew Sharkman.

The three came up to Spike and said,

“If you’re lying…” Spike gave them a disgusted look and said,

“Look, s’down to you mate, whether you believe me or not, I don’t care, you can work for fuck all, it’s nothing to do with me, all I’m saying is, just don’t let him rip you off, us vamps have got to stick together” Spike went to move off again, and again they stopped him.

“Come and tell the others see what they say”

“Others?” Spike said, inwardly dancing with joy, his ploy worked!

“Yeah, there’s two dozen of us who work for him, he’s promised us $200 a week, plus a girl every night, each” Spike gave the guy a sardonic smile and said,

“And you believe him – okay look do the figurers…24 times…200 hmm, that’s $4800 a week, and let me see, 24 times 7, that equals 168 girls a week – do you REALLY think that’s likely?”

The three vamps frowned and felt foolish, and realised that no, it sounded most UN-likely putting it like that, nobody had had brains enough to do the math…

“And I tell you, job might be good now, ogling the merchandise, but soon you’ll be expected to come the strong-arm tactics with the bad debtors, he won’t let you eat the staff, won’t let you eat his rich punters, you’ll be fighting over the wino’s and tramps in the back alleyways”

“Come with us now, come to where we’re staying tell the others” the first vamp said.

“Well hold on, look I’ve got to do something first, but tell me where you’re staying, and I promise I come and tell them”

The three vamps nodded, and gave Spike the address of a tatty disused warehouse about four blocks from where they were.

“See, couldn’t even give you a decent place to stay…and I bet you any money, he’s got a suite here, with a hot-tub and all the best the hotel has to offer…” (Spike sadly shook his head)

By the looks that the three vamps flashed each other, and as they didn’t contradict him, Spike knew he’d guessed right.

“So, what time do you finish tonight?”

“Eleven”

“Right then, I’ll be at this address at midnight, get everybody together, and I’ll ‘em the way it is, remember, us vamps have to stick together!” Spike made a clenched fist salute, and the three nodded vigorously and growled. Spike left, barely able to keep the smile off his face – it had gone like a dream!

Chapter 5


Spike strode back into Wolfram and Hart just after 9 o’clock.

“And where the hell have you been? Swanning off getting up to the gods know what, while we’ve been slaving away here, getting the REAL work done!” Angel demanded as Spike swaggered into the office

Spike ignored him, winked at Buffy, walked over to the flip board Angel had set up with a detailed map of the sewerage system, and tore it off.

“Hey, what the – we spent all day doing-“ Angel half stood and began to protest, Spike said,

“Just shut it and get back in your pram, Peaches - okay folks, listen up!” Wesley, Gunn, Willow, Xander and Buffy gave Spike their full attention, Angel sat there fuming.

“Here you go, they’ll be two dozen vamps waiting there, to hear me tell them why Sharkman won’t make employer of the month!”

Buffy grinned and Angel snatched up the scrap of paper and scrutinised the address.

“It’s about four blocks from the Sherington, so I suggest Buffy, you take Peaches, him and um, him (he pointed to Wesley and Gunn) and go do some dusting – I’ll take you Red, if you don’t mind, we can go see the big boss himself – actually Red, you might want a cloaking spell or something ready, just in case things get a little, well you know, fishy!”

Willow smiled and nodded

“What about me?” Xander asked forlornly.

Spike thought Xander neither use nor ornament, and rolled his eyes

“Come with me and Red, but I’m warning you, get in the way, and I’ll bloody well feed you to him, got it?”

Without comment and just a nod of the head, Xander agreed.

“Good, that’s settled then – um, you want to add anything, Peaches?” Spike looked expectantly over to Angel.

“How do you know they’ll be two dozen vamps waiting for you?” Angel asked, eyes narrowed

“Well, you’ll never guess!” Spike said in a mocking tone that had Buffy barely able to keep a straight face.

Angel narrowed his eyes even more, and Spike went serious and said,

“Look Angel, I told them what a bastard Sharkman was, how he’d reneged on past deals, and how he’d renege on this one too, they are so thick, they can’t even do the maths for themselves, can’t work out basic economics, couldn’t work out the amounts Sharkman said he was going to pay ‘em, didn’t realise that that many girls promised was practically impossible - and if you think for on moment that I’d put MY Buffy in ANY sort of unnecessary danger, you are even more thick than I thought you were, so just get your sorry arse down to that address, and slay those fuckin’ vamps, okay?”


Angel looked a little shocked, and just nodded and said,

“Okay”

*************


“Okay Red, ready with the force-field spell, just in case?” Spike asked, fist poised to knock on the door.

Willow nodded and Xander hung back

Spike knocked on the door of the Executive Suite of the Sherington Hotel. After a moment or two, it was opened by a shark-headed demon wearing a dressing robe, smoking a big fat Cuban cigar.

“Yeah, what is it, I didn’t order any- hey, HEY – WHAT THE FUCK’S GOING-“

Spike pushed the shark back into his room and walked in, quickly followed by Willow, and the whelp, he slunk in, hoping to go un-noticed, when he saw his girlfriend, or rather EX girlfriend lounging on a huge bed, wearing nothing more than a see-thru lace camisole top and a pair of skimpy lace panties.

“Who is it babe –XANDER!”

“ANYA – Oh MY GODS… What the - ?”

“Oh fuck me, I wasn’t expecting that!” Spike took in the scene, and was caught slightly off guard.

Sharkman made a run for the door, but thank goodness Willow was on the ball and she had magicked a force field across the doorway, and Sharkman bounced right off it and catapulted himself right back into the room!

Anya, she still on the bed, Xander looking incredulous, stared at each other.

Sharkman took a giant puff on his cigar, grinned showing a shocking array of nasty, sharp teeth and said,

“Spike! Spike, Spike, Spike!”

“Don’t wear out me name, anchovy breath…now, I’m only going to say this once, so you better listen up good, unless you fancy becoming the newest and latest line in sushi around here, I suggest you leave tonight.

You are finished here, in this town, your ‘boys’ are no more, as we speak, they are being reduced to the dust that they deserve to become. The clubs you have taken over will be returned to their rightful owners, AND, I’m giving you the time it takes for me to light and smoke this rather nice Cuban cigar here, to get out of town, and don’t come back.

The alternative is, for me to have a bash at a spot of amateur dentistry before a little slice ‘n’ dice (Spike produced a pair of vicious looking pliers and an extra sharp knife from his coat pocket) could make myself a nice necklace if………” Spike didn’t even need to continue, Sharkman shoved his cigar into his mouth, grabbed his clothes and was at the door in seconds.

“I’m outta here, let me go PLEASE – let me-“

“’Kay Red, drop the force field, let him go – remember Sharky – go take a swim somewhere RIGHT away from here!”

Spike grinned as Willow waved her hand and the force-field disappeared from the doorway, and Sharkman scooted as fast as he could away and gone.

Spike surveyed the room, and gave a pained grin,

“What are you doing here?” Anya asked Xander eventually

“Me, ME, WHAT AM I – OH God! – You really are the limit!” Xander turned away, reeling, his thoughts a jumble.

“Well, well, well! Now tell me, what’s a nice girl like you, doing in a place like this, hmm?” Spike turned his attentions to Anya

“Shut it you, this is between me and her!” Xander said trembling, his fists clenched

Spike cocked a brow and decided to leave them to it

“’You’re welcome! Kay then, whelp, your wish is my command, come on Red, let’s get back to Chez Poof’s, see how they faired!”

“Xander, will you be okay?” Willow asked worriedly, without looking at Anya

“I’ll be fine, you go with Spike, I’ll catch up with you later” Willow nodded and she followed Spike out of the room. As she was closing the door she heard Anya say,

“Xander, I’m sorry, okay – really, I’ve been wanting to call you, but I thought that you didn’t want me anymore!”



****************


“It was TRULY amazing! They just didn’t know what had hit them! They just exploded into dust, POW, POOF, BOOM! - One after the other, they didn’t even have a chance to get away, it was TOTALLY awesome!” Gunn enthused, during the post mortem of the battle.

Wesley came up to Spike and actually shook his hand and said,

“Well Spike, I don’t know how you did it, but I guess we owe you a debt of gratitude!”

Spike looked mildly surprised at this, and Angel rolled his eyes and looked thoroughly nauseated!

Wesley continued to look at Spike with total awe.

“And he’s gone, really – for good?”

“He won’t come back, I told him I fancied doing a spot of amateur dentistry, and then I’d turn him into the latest line of sushi if he didn’t go!”

“Amazing! How on EARTH did you know where to find this, this, Sharkman fella, anyway?” Wesley asked, pushing his glasses up his nose, but still holding Spike’s hand with the other.

“Oh, just a hunch really – lucky guess, (he gave a non-committal shrug and pulled his hand away) well that’s us gone, um babe…Buffy, Buf – can we go now?”

“Sure, ready when you are!”

Buffy drained her champagne glass and nodded eagerly, then she grinned and beckoned Spike over to her

“AND… come on, and on the way back, we can ………” (Buffy cupped her hand around Spike’s ear and whispered all manner of naughty suggestions!) Spike’s eyes and grin got wider by the second, and he just grabbed her hand and they went flying out to the car park.

******

“Course I still love you, I never said I didn’t!” Xander said, stroking Anya’s arm. She in turn went to kiss him, but Xander leaned back and said,

“Just tell me you never, you know, went with old ‘Jaws’”

Anya looked incredulously at her former beau and said,

“What? – Oh Pooky, of COURSE I didn’t!” she hugged him and just hoped that Xander couldn’t see her crossed fingers behind his back, or the fact that she was biting her lip………

They left the hotel and went back to Wolfram and Hart.

While they were going up in the elevator to Angel’s office, Anya said

“It was the wedding making me crazy, all the preparations, the do’s and don’ts…”

“Well, I’ve got a solution to all that, if you still want to get married that is”

“Oh Pooky – IF? – It’s all I’ve EVER wanted!”

“Good, right then, we can just drive to Vegas, get married in one of those tacky chapel thingies, forget about bridesmaids and guests and traditions!” Anya grinned and agreed!

They walked into the office hand in hand, grinning.

“Come on then Will, but we’ve got to make room for one more though!” Xander gave his reclaimed girlfriend a big cheesy grin………

Willow rolled her eyes and led the way to the elevator…………

*********

“………Really ought to learn to be a BIT more charitable towards people Angel, especially when it’s people who come from miles away to help us!” Wesley chastised Angel, who in turn rolled his eyes.

“Yeah man, like wow, that Spike huh, WHAT a dude! Hadn’t been here five minutes, and he’d got it all sussed out and-“ Gunn said

“Um people, please, now we have work to do, crisis over, well, not crisis, crisis! Crisis is too strong a word, ‘misfortune – no, let’s say slight problem, yeah I like that, the slight problem that befell us until…Buffy came along – anyway lets get on with some work, shall we please?”

“And I thought he said that Spike was the childish jerk!” Gunn whispered to Wesley, who just raised his brows and nodded!

It would be a cold day in hell when Angel would acknowledge that Spike helped in any way, shape or form.


*****************

Mean while, at Make-Out Mile…………


“Uh, oh god yes, yes, don’t stop, yeah, yeah, YEAH – ooh gods, yes, yes, YES! OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!” Buffy closed her eyes and slumped forward against Spike’s chest, heaving for breath.

She could feel he was still hard and she sat up grinning and ground down on him again, until suddenly, coming up the lane they heard the chatter of a police radio……...

Moving off Spike swiftly and throwing herself low so she could dress quickly, Spike climbed into the driving seat, slammed into reverse all the time cussing the cops…

“Piss-balling, ass crabbing, fuckin’ voyeuristic, torch-shining-to-get-a-better-look, pervy, bastards! Why don’t they go out and catch some fucking criminals for once instead of hassling decent folk!”

“Spike, decent folk don’t drive out to do it in their cars!” Buffy said, climbing over into the passenger seat from the back now she was full dressed. She let out a giggle as Spike was still TOTALLY naked, and still sporting an impressive stiffy………

Spike grinned, and only slightly swerved as a grinning Buffy lowered her head……………………

“Ooooohhhhh, babe………”


The End