Author's Chapter Notes:
gave up on sanity.... not that any of u ppls care... just a note... also duh i own nothing... its all joss
Missing You

Willow found Buffy curled on her bed, clinging to Spike’s old t-shirt. Almost like it was a life line. It had been three months since the Hellmouth caved in. Everyone had moved on. Except Buffy. She still mourned like it had happened yesterday. Just one look at the girl told anyone she wasn’t really there. Willow could hear her sniffs and whimpers. She wanted to comfort her friend, but knew that it would not help. Buffy would be close to catatonic. All the witch could was to take one last look and pray that soon Buffy would get better. She whispered a prayer for her friend and quietly shut the door.

Buffy’s head came up at the sound of the door shutting. When there was no longer any noise behind the door she laid back down. She knew what everyone thought. But she no longer cared. She was no longer needed. She wasn’t the only Chosen One anymore. Dawn was all grown up. Her friends had either left or moved on with their lives. An apocalypse changed people. Didn’t she know it. She’d lost a love and a friend. Since Anya’s death Xander had left a few days after the First’s defeat. And then there was Spike. A tear rolled down her cheek unchecked as she remembered his last day. His soul had saved the world. She had told him she loved him, but he wouldn’t accept it. Not that big of a surprise. A brief smile flashed across her face.

“Stupid vampire.” She let out a small laugh. He always knew how to make her smile. She quietly wept as she remembered all his cocky remarks. It only reminded her that she would never see or hear him again. She looked into the darkness and whispered,

“I will love you till my dying day.”

~ ~

Spike looked out his window into the non-hazardous sun, thanks to Wolfram & Hart. He had been back from where ever he had been for close to three months. He knew Buffy was somewhere in Europe. Most likely off with the Scoobies. Jealous ran through him. He had given up his life for the world and what had he gotten in return? A nice trip to Los Angeles, awkward weeks as a ghost, and to gift of working alongside Peaches. No Buffy.

She didn’t even know he was alive He wondered if she had moved on. He recalled the last thing she had said to him before he turned to dust.

“I love you.”

“No you don’t, but thanks for sayin’ it.” He hadn’t believed her then. But now those three small words consumed his thoughts. Had she really meant it? And if she had did she still love him? If he told her he was back would she still accept him? He growled out of frustration. Why couldn’t he move on?

“Because she’s my only hope left.” He sat back in his chair. He was sick of holding onto memories. He wanted, no needed to see her again. The only that kept him in LA was the fear that she had moved on, or Angel would sooner kill him.

“Stupid ponce.” He heard a knock at the door and saw Lorne’s head appear.

“Hello there. Why are we all cooped up in a room?”

“Blinds are open.”

“Is someone brooding?”

“I am not brooding! That’s the poof’s job.”

“Well speaking of Angel, he wants a meeting in his office.”

“Tell ‘im I’m busy.”

“(clears throat) Well if it help it there’s supposedly trouble in Rome.”

“Trouble in Rome?”

“That’s what the big man said.” Spike quickly got up from his chair and strode out of the room. Buffy was in Rome. This could be his chance. He could see her again.
tbc





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