For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all
“I love you.” Buffy told him, trying to hold back tears.
“No you don’t, but thanks for sayin’ it. Now GO!” Was Spike’s reply. Was he really going to die for the potentials, for Buffy, for the WORLD?
Buffy ran up the stairs and out of sight, without a backwards glance. Just seconds later, Spike laughed, then disintegrated into dust. Gone forever. Buffy would be devastated. Buffy carried on running, not stopping until she got to the school bus. She was trying to keep herself busy, forgetting about Spike.
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
Dawn was watching from the back of the bus, waiting for her sister to run up and jump on. Tears started to form behind her eyes, almost giving up on her sister.
Buffy jumped onto the top of the bus and signalled for it to stop. Sunnydale was tumbling into a crater behind them. All that was left of Sunnydale was a big hole in the ground. All their past, almost their futures lived in that hole. All their love lived in that hole, all of Buffy’s love lived in that hole. And is part of that hole.
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you
Buffy jumped down from the bus and landed on her feet. Giles, Willow, Xander and Faith started talking about something, all Buffy could think about was Spike. The man she loved and lost.
“Everyone on the bus. We’re going to L.A.” There were whispers of uncertainty but they all complied and got on the bus. Buffy took a seat at the back and leaned up against the window. Willow came and stood in front of her, opened her mouth to say something, then decided against it. This was neither the time nor place. She turned round and walked to the front. A piece of paper fell out of her back pocket. Buffy picked it up.
“Hey Will you drop…” Buffy looked at the paper that fell out of Will’s pocket. There was a name on the front in old fashioned handwriting. The name said ‘Buffy – my little Goldilocks’.
“What?” Willow said.
“Nothing.” Willow walked away. Buffy looked at the letter for a moment, before plucking up the courage to open it. Before actually registering that there were words on the page. Buffy took a minute to admire the lovely old fashioned handwriting that only Spike wrote in. That she would never see again.
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
The letter read:
Dear Buffy,
Well, where do I start. I only wanted Willow to give you this if the worst would come, and if it hasn’t then remind me to make it up to you later, the way I used to last year, although it will be different than the passion we shared last year.
Anyway, the only reason I wanted to write this letter is because I wanted to tell you how I really feel about you Luv, even though it is a little bit too late. Well…Buffy… I love you. I still love you and now more than ever now I have this soul. I don’t love you because I want you, or because I can’t have you, I love what you are, who you are and all the soppy stuff I said the night you just let me hold you in my arms. If you ever change Buffy, I will come back to haunt you for the rest of your life and then I will always ignore you in the afterlife as well. I’m joking, I could never ignore you. I love you too much. I know you’ll never say the same to me but I know you feel it. I can see it in your eyes. Ever since that night with the potentials when you were so concerned about me when you thought I’d hurt my ribs. I so wanted to kiss you then, Luv. But there were kids around so I thought it best not to.
If I am gone Buffy, I am still watching you and I can see you while you’re reading this letter, with a tub of cookie dough ice cream next to you and your mascara running down your face crying your eyes out all because of me. I knew the day would come when you’d cry for me. Hehe.
Well, I’d better end this letter now before the sun rises or I’ll get smoked. Just remember, you’ll find a guy worthy of you and when that happens just remember this:
No man is worth you tears, the one that is won’t make you cry.
I love you, Luv, and I really hope you love me too.
See you in a few decades,
All my love
Spike
xxxxx
Buffy smiled and then laughed. Willow looked behind and saw why she was laughing. She smiled. Spike would be pleased.
“Damn right I am.” Willow heard through the air.
“See ya Spike.”
“Right guys, who wants pizza, on me and stop to pick up some cookie dough ice cream!” Buffy said and settled down into her seat. Spike loved her. She loved him. She finally believed him. Too bad she believed him when he wasn’t there.
You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
Lyrics:- Celine Dion - Because You Loved Me