Beta ~ I met awesome girl! Her names Angie! She's been beting my stories for me, And big thanks to her, She's a great friend to me, So Love you Angie hehe! If it weren't for her my grammar and spelling would stink!

~*~*~*~ Prologue ~*~*~*~

"Look, Dru can't talk right now, I'll call you later, I love you too, bye," Spike Giles whispered into his cell phone. He opened his front door, dropped his bags on the floor and noticed that the house looked super clean.

"Buffy, I'm home and I come bearing gifts," He called through out the house. When he didn't get an answer he called again, "Buffy," Spike looked down at his watch it was almost 11, he knew she wouldn't go out this late, He looked into the kitchen it was clean, there were pots on the strove, but all the dishes were clean and put away.

Finally he decide to check upstairs, "Buffy." He called a little louder this time.

He switched on the hall light so he could see where he was going and stopped for a second.

He opened the door closest to him, it had a plaque stuck to the outside with name "Annabel" written on it in beautiful old fashioned lettering. All pink and glittery, obviously a little girls room. He walked in quietly over to the crib looked inside and was shocked to find it empty.

"BUFFY!" He shouted, this time more urgently, running out of the room and into his bedroom. This room was also empty, but he noticed a few drawers where open and the door to Buffy's side of the closet was ajar. Then he noticed everything was gone, all her cloths and shoes, everything. Spike was totally bewildered, he had no idea what was happening. He slowly made his way over to the centre of the room and as he did he saw something on the side of the bed. A letter with his name on it. Spike sat down picked up the envelope, ripped it open and began reading

Dear William

By the time you read this, I'll already be gone, there's soup on the strove in case your hungry after your flight, all you have to do is warm it up. As you can see Annabel and I aren't here, don't worry, she's fine and she's with me. I'm sorry Spike. I'm so sorry I wasn't the prefect wife for you, I tried to be, I really did, I cooked and cleaned and tried my very best but I guess it was never good enough.

I couldn't take another second of it Spike, having you come home to me, hugging me, kissing me and telling me you love me, then smelling the cheap perfume on your clothes. Or cleaning their lipstick off your shirts and finding condom rappers in your pants pockets. It broke a little piece off my heart every time I did.

I loved you Spike, and I didn't think you'd ever hurt me; But I'm not going to be a doormat anymore, just being walked on like I'm nothing. I'm sick of having you come home knowing I'll be there with dinner on the table.

Making love to you, was HELL to me, having you whisper you love me into my ear. I just wanted to die, and when you where done, I would cry, and never once did you ever wonder why my pillow was wet. Then sometimes I'd watched you sleep, you'd have this peaceful look on your face while I curled your hair in my fingers, I'd start to wonder "are they prettier than me", "are they smarter", "did they give you something I couldn't," And I still never got a answer.

A million times Cordelia asked me why I stayed, and only one thing ever came to mind, Annabel. She's why I stayed, I didn't want Annabel to have to grow up without a father like I did, so I stayed. But then after awhile something inside finally broke and it hit me, that you aren't the man I married, he left me along time ago. You're a shell of the man I married. He would never have hurt me the way you have, because along time ago we where happy. Dammit Spike I loved you and god help me I still do. Do you have any idea how hard this was for me, writing this letter packing my things, it almost killed me, you've hurt me so much. But I wont let you destroy what I have left of my self-respect.

Spike you must know I love you because if I didn't I would have left the first time, you came to me and explained what happened. Yeah it hurt, but I forgave you, because I looked at you and saw in your eyes that you where sorry, and then you made a promise to me, do you remember? you said ~Buffy as long as I live I'll never hurt you again~ But you broke that promise. We took vows William, and they meant something to me.

I don't want anything from you Spike, you can have the house the cars everything. I don't think I could stay in the house anyway, I'd constantly be thinking, did he ever bring his whores home and screw them in our bed.

If you're wondering why I didn't tell you this in person, well it's because I knew you'd try to stop me, and I know just looking into your eyes I would have stayed but I'm going to be strong this time,

Good-Bye William,

Love Always Buffy…





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