Author's Chapter Notes:
The Poem is not mine it is called Love and is by Layla Norman.
Spike slumped into one of the plush leather chairs that adorned Angel’s new office. After Wolfram & Hart had been turned over to one of the slayer branches, Angel had decided to open up a small Private Investigation business. Spike had laughed at first but then he’d decided to help him out.

Of course anyone who came asking for help knew that they dealt with demons and all things supernatural. At first business had been slow but after the first few months they started to get up to six clients a day.

The group wasn’t as good as the last. Illyria was still working with them; Spike guessed she simply liked the fighting.

Gunn had just managed to survive the battle and was working part time until he could get back into the field.

Angel was still running the joint, throwing himself into the work as often as possible.

Lorne had come back a few times but never stayed permanently, apparently he’d opened up a small karaoke bar and it was pretty successful.

Spike looked around the office, his cerulean eyes landing on the weapons that were all hung neatly on the wall.

Angel walked in his office carrying a pile of mail and gave a small frown. “Spike what are you doing in here?” Angel asked as he continued to sift through the mail.

“Nothing, just bored” Spike stood casually and walked over to the window.

Angel sighed and noticed a white envelope with the name Spike written neatly in the middle.

“There’s an envelope for you” Angel said and watched as Spike turned, clearly the letter had peaked his curiosity.

“Gimme” Spike grabbed the envelope and walked out of Angel’s office.

As he entered his own office he slung himself into his chair and propped his feet up on the desk.

As he was about to open it he noticed that it had a scent, he inhaled deeply and frowned at the strong vanilla scent the paper held.

He opened it and took the thin paper out ‘Buffy?’ Spike looked curiously down at the paper and began to read.

~*~
I love the way you hold me
I love the way you care
I love the way you look at me
and how you're always there

I love the way you kiss me
and how you hold me tight
I love the way you make me laugh
when we talk all night

I love the way I don't have to act
I love that there's nothing to hide
I love the way you grab my hand
and pull me to your side

I love the way you wrap me up
I love the way you touch me
I love the way my heart floats now
because you've set it free

I love the way that I feel loved
I love that I don't cry
I love the way my doubt's erased
and you don't have to try

I love the way I trust you
I love the way you grin
I love the way I feel now
so safe, it makes me spin

I love the way you say 'I love you'
I love the way smile
I love how you make me laugh
more than just once in awhile

I love the way you make me happy
I love the way we're true
I love the way you love me
but mostly that I love you.

I’m not good with the poetry but it doesn’t take a genius to understand that I’m in love with you.
~Buffy x

~*~
Spike sat there mouth open slightly just looking at the paper not even noticing that Gunn had entered his office.

“Hey Blondie bear, wake up from your trance” Gunn clicked his fingers in Spike’s ear, making his head snap up.

“Gunn sorry mate” Spike shoved the paper in the breast pocket of his leather duster.

“What was that?” Gunn looked curiously at the small piece of the paper that was visible.

“Nothing, so what’s up do we have another case?” Spike asked as he stood “nah man I just wanted to see what you were up to”.

Spike frowned “alright wanna annoy Angel?” Gunn shrugged “sure”.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike sat in his apartment, glaring at the small piece of paper.

“You know, you stare at something hard enough you might make it combust” Spike’s head snapped up and a grin appeared on his lips.

“Faith” Spike put the paper down and stood

“Hey Bleach Boy” Faith smiled before pulling him into a hug.

After the battle with The Order of the Black Thorn, Faith had come back to Los Angeles to help Angel for a few months, during those months Spike and Faith had began a tentative friendship, which had soon developed into a fairly strong bond.

Although Spike hadn’t understood why he felt the need to protect Faith, he had anyway.

Angel had found the friendship odd but had only said so once.

Spike smiled again at the brunette slayer and invited her to sit down.

“What have we got here?” Faith asked ash she plucked the small piece of paper off of the coffee table, Spike stood and went to get two beers “a poem, don’t see how it’s any business of yours” Spike added before he opened his beer.

Faith shrugged and began to read the poem as she finished her brown eyes flicked to his “wow B really loves you” Faith smiled “what did you say to her when you got this?” she asked as she made herself comfortable.

“I got it today and I haven’t called her or spoken to her” Spike took another sip “what!? You haven’t spoken to her?” Faith looked at him in surprise and confusion.

“No” Spike said more cautiously. Faith sat closer to him “are you stupid?”

Spike looked at her in surprise “no where did that come from?”

Faith sighed in frustration “ok me and B aren’t great friends I admit that, but she’s a woman and you haven’t even spoken to her since she sent you this confession of love and I’m pretty sure she knows how long a letter takes to get from Rome to here”.

Understanding began to dawn in Spike’s eyes.

“Spike, you don’t call her and she is going to kick your ass across America and Rome and probably the world” Faith trailed off.
Spike shook his head before standing up “I’m going” he announced as he grabbed his coat.

Faith looked up at him “where?”

“Rome”

“Say hi to B for me”

“Tell Angel”

“Ok, I’m using your place to crash”

“Fine bye”

“Bye”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike stared out the window of the cab, the flight had been awful, and he’d been fidgeting the entire way and his ears were still ringing from the plane’s engines.

The cab stopped and Spike payed the driver. He hopped out and looked up at the large apartment that Buffy and Dawn lived in.

He sighed and made his way up the stairs, it was now or never, he had to tell her that he loved her and wanted to be with her.

Spike looked nervously at the door; its gold number seemed to be mocking him. Spike was about to knock when the door swung open and Dawn came out like the hounds of hell were on her heels, which was an actual possibility.

Dawn smacked right into him and she immediately apologised “Fuck! I’m sorry”.

Dawn looked up and her blue eyes widened “OH MY GOD SPIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!” Dawn shrieked before leaping into his arms.

No matter how much growing up she had done in the past year, Spike was one of the few people who could make her resort back to that shrieking, impulsive, wide eyed girl.

“Niblet” Spike hugged her tighter before setting her down.

“Oh my God you’re here” Dawn smiled and looked at him in wonder; she seemed just amazed to see him.

“Yeah, is big sis around?” Spike fidgeted nervously.

“Ah I should have known it would be for Buffy” she said, giving him a smile to let him know she was joking around.

“Yes she’s here” Dawn dragged him into the apartment and put her bag down on the table “Buffy!!”She yelled as she plonked herself down into a chair, her long brown hair flaring out behind her.

“What?” Buffy’s voice came from the bedroom.

“There is someone here to see you” Dawn replied.

“I’ll be right out!” Buffy’s voice held a tinge of irritation.

Buffy came out of the bedroom in her sweats and turned the corner to see Spike, the words died on her lips as she drank him in.

“Buffy” his voice seemed so foreign now and it made her head spin.

“Spike” her voice was thick with emotion, seeing him again made her want to scream and jump with joy and it also made her want to crawl up into a ball and cry.

Dawn felt awkward so she stood up and made her way to the door “ok I’ll see you guys later” and with that she was gone, leaving the two blondes in the now silent apartment.

Buffy wrung her hands and sat down on the sofa “do you want to sit?” she asked nervously.

“Yes, yeah...I’ll sit” Spike sat down on the sofa.

“I got your poem” Spike said looking down at the rug.

“I um...I got yours too” Buffy stared down at her nails.

After a few minutes Buffy laughed nervously,
prompting Spike to do the same.

“I uh...I meant what I wrote at the end” Buffy said as she pulled at a thread on one of her couch cushions.

Spike looked up “oh you know I...you know I do too”.

Buffy smiled “yeah...yeah I know you do”.

They both looked away and Buffy decided to take the first step “Spike I do love you, but we can’t do anything about it”.

Spike looked at her in confusion “why? You love me; I love you, why can’t we do anything about it?”

Buffy looked him in the eye for the first time that night “it can’t happen because, I love you...But I don’t know if I can do this again”.

Spike’s temper flared “what are you talking about? It wouldn’t be like last time we were both in a bad place the last time we had a relationship”.

Buffy stood, trying to get the higher ground “look that may be true, but now I live with Dawn and things are different”.

Spike Stood up and looked her in the eyes, anger clearly burning in his. “Come on Buffy! If you didn’t want something to happen between us then why did you send me that poem?” Spike looked at her desperately.

Buffy blinked back tears ‘she wanted to be with him, but it wasn’t right’ “Spike it’s wrong”.

Spike’s jaw tensed and he almost snarled in anger “Fuck Buffy! Are you...Bloody Fucking hell! Are you seriously going to pull that shit?” he cut her off before she could answer.

“No! You don’t get to talk! All the time you’re the one doing the long speeches and talking your head off, well it’s my turn.

Do you think I’m going to be telling you that you belong in the dark and that you are emotionally numb!? Do you think I’m going to be hitting you and abusing you?” Spike’s shoulders slumped; he didn’t want to fight her.

“Look Buffy, I didn’t come here to fight you, I’m her to tell you that I love you and that I want to be with you, but obviously you don’t want that so I’m not going to try anymore” Spike gave her a pained look “Bye Buffy”.

As he left the apartment Buffy crumpled to the floor and her body began to shake with sobs. She'd never felt so alone.

TBC...


Chapter End Notes:
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