nmcil 09/21/17 03:08 am How can we contribute using PayPal? nmcil 09/21/17 03:05 am What happen to the PayPal donation. I USE PayPal. squawks 05/18/17 09:16 am pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories! pj 03/20/17 06:20 am 10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well. Rabbit_moon1 12/23/16 07:12 pm I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up! AudryDaluz1 10/06/16 01:34 pm Great post. Chrissel 08/31/16 08:45 pm And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;) Chrissel 08/31/16 08:43 pm Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
I was inspired by the Clan of the Cave Bear series of books about a strong woman faced with an impossible life. Stay with me, I feel like this will be a long journey.
Thank you Xaphania for the amazing banner!! AND Lauriel for her amazing beta skillz :P
Because She Needs Me
Buffy rubbed her temples attempting to relieve the pressure building behind them. The visions of the small dirty little girl crying and alone in the cave were breaking her heart. She had been beaten and rejected by the others in her clan. Her young broken soul was crying out for someone to rescue her, to ease her pain, to end her torment.
Since Buffy had returned from the grave, the visions of the child haunted her. She vaguely remembered being able to comfort her from wherever she had been. But now, back in her life as the Slayer in Sunnydale, Buffy couldn’t reach her. Her cries were with her all the time. Buffy was tortured every moment both awake and asleep. She was lost and unsure of whom to turn to for help.
All of her friends had fallen into their daily routines after she had died, and little had changed after she returned. She felt as invisible and lost as the little girl that haunted her.
She dreamed of her again.
Kaia sat in the dark damp corner of the cave, sobbing quietly. Her neck and arm hurt from the elder, Kahn. He had thrown her there because she had tripped bringing him his food, spilling it all over the dirt floor. Kaia knew too well she would sleep there tonight, hungry and cold. She knew she was different from the other children, not only in her looks, but many other ways as well. She was different.
Buffy bolted up in bed, covered in perspiration, her thin cotton night gown stuck to her heaving chest as she called out her name. “KAIA!” She woke up fully and realized she was in her room again, unable to comfort the child in her dreams. Sobbing, she collapsed into her pillow. After a while she fell back into restless sleep, exhausted and grief stricken.
Her alarm went off at 7:00 am. Buffy woke to find the entire house was already abuzz. Tara, Willow and Dawn rushed around preparing for their daily activities. Buffy listened to them taking turns in the bathroom, rushing up and down the stairs after forgotten items. She slowly got herself dressed and went down to the kitchen and poured herself a cup of black coffee. Leaning against the counter, she held her mug close, absorbing its heat but not drinking. Buffy watched them all trickle in and out of the kitchen, smile at her and continue on with their day. No one initiated any conversation with her, just a “Hey Buffy!” then out the door. She needed her friends, but they were so involved in their daily routine, there wasn’t any time for her. Buffy dumped her coffee down the drain, and left the house once again without eating. Buffy had no appetite and told herself she would eat something later. She needed to get out of the house. She was feeling claustrophobic. Grabbing her jacket, she walked out the kitchen door.
She needed to see him. He could comfort her like no one else. He was the only one who had time for her. She wondered if it was because he couldn’t go out in the sun, but she knew that he wanted to see her too. Plus, she wanted him, and he wanted her. She turned into the cemetery and headed to Spike’s crypt.
Spike sensed her before she even entered the crypt. Buffy had been coming around daily for a few weeks now, looking for a bit of cold comfort, which he happily dispensed. She came to him seeking from him what the others couldn’t see. She needed to be loved, comforted, and listened to. The others never asked her about how the resurrection had affected her, or what it was like where she had been. No one had taken time to listen to her.
Buffy arrived as on a schedule. She came to him each day, falling into his arms, his bed, his world. She was becoming more comfortable in the dark with him than in the sun with them. He worried about her. She rarely spoke at all. Her face clearly showed her unhappiness. How could her so-called friends not see it?
Spike was sitting in his chair watching television as she climbed into his lap.
“Hey Sunshine, you didn’t sleep well again, did you?” he asked, cradling her in his arms.
“No. I dreamt of her again. It’s getting worse and I’m scared for her. It’s like she’s giving up because I’ve abandoned her.”
“Buffy, this child in your dreams, we don’t even know if she’s real, let alone how to find her. You must start taking better care of yourself, please?” Spike brushed a strand of hair from her eyes as she snuggled into his chest. “Did you eat today?”
“I’m not hungry yet, but I promise I will eat later. Just hold me. I need you to help me forget, just for a little while. Please?” Buffy got up and stood in front of him with her hand held out to him.
Spike knew what she wanted and escorted her to his bed. He hoped she would sleep for a few hours after. Her ribs and the dark circles under her eyes were becoming more visible every day. He would do more research on helping her as soon as he could, but for now… she needed him.
They made love each morning, and she tried to sleep within the comfort of his arms after. She usually woke a few hours later in tears or trembling in fear. He would calm her, listen to her stories of the little girl who needed her, the one she could no longer help.
Buffy had told him about Kaia. She had explained that she had no idea how she knew about the girl other than their first contact had been after her death. She had explained it like a memory, or like a movie she had watched. The child had been found by the clan’s medicine woman, Groma. Groma had been looking for plants for a salve and had found the child alone in a patch of plants. There were traces of blood all around the swaddled child, leading her to believe her mother had been killed by animals.
The clan elders had not wanted Groma to bring the child in to their hearth, their cave. They complained that she was ugly and frail. They pointed out that she was obviously not of strong lineage and would surely become a burden on them. She was pale, her hair was yellow, and her eyes were green. They feared that she may be an omen or a sign of bad luck. The clan was made up of hearty, thick women with dark eyes. No man would ever claim her as his mate as ugly as she was. Groma argued that the child might be a sign of good luck, that she would raise her and teach her the ways of the medicine woman, so she would be valuable to the clan. The elders had known better than to anger their only medicine woman, and agreed to her terms.
Spike didn’t know what any of this meant, or how he could help, but he listened and that was more than any of her friends had done. His anger at Willow for the resurrection grew each day, as Buffy seem to slip a little further away.
Buffy was thankful for Spike. He had become more to her than any man ever had. Her feelings for him were so strong, yet she wasn’t able to label them. She knew he would do anything in his power to help her, but he couldn’t help her with this. She knew exactly who she needed to talk to. Having reached her decision, she snuggled close to her lover and slept soundly for the next few hours. She had a plan.
The morning began with Dawn leaving for school with Xander as her chauffeur. Tara had an early class and Willow was free for the day. Buffy waited till she was alone with Willow before she approached her.
Buffy stood in the same spot leaning against the sink each morning, holding her mug. “Willow, I need to talk to you.” She looked down into her coffee cup, unsure of how to start.
Willow sat at the kitchen counter, pushing her Cheerios into the milk with the back of her spoon. She was unsure of what Buffy wanted to talk about, but she knew Buffy was a little off since her resurrection and feared she would ask more about the spell she used. She had used black magic and it wasn’t anyone’s business. Buffy had come back and that was all that mattered. She had done a good thing.
“What’s up, Buff?”
“I’ve been dreaming of a little girl. I think she may be from the past or another dimension, but wherever I was, I was able to guide her, comfort her. Now, I hear her cries night and day, and I think she thinks I have abandoned her. I don’t know what to do. I feel her pain and I know she’d in danger. She needs me… and I need to reach her.”
Willow thought about Buffy’s words before she spoke. She knew she could help Buffy, she would have to research a bit in the restricted books at the Magic Box, but she knew she could pull it off. She’d show Buffy just how strong her powers had become. “Do you know her name? With her name I should be able to let you talk to her, or maybe even go to her. I will need a few days, but I feel confident I can do it.”
“Her name is Kaia. She lives in a cave, like prehistoric caveman time. Thank you, Willow. Please don’t say a word to anyone.”
“I swear, I wont say a word. Give me a few days.”
Chapter End Notes:
Please review. This is my first attempt at anything other than smut, be kind (theres a bit of smut)
This site is not affiliated with big scary corporations that could sue my pants off, I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (though I desperately want Spike:) This site and its content is meant to entertain, not infringe:)