Author's Chapter Notes:
I hope everyone enjoys! I would like to give a big thanks to David Fury and Jane Espenson for writing this episode and giving me some of the dialog that I placed in his story. It always drove me crazy how clueless Xander was. At the beginning it was cute...the very beginning, after that it annoyed me to no end. The only thing that annoyed me more, was that he was such a hypocrite! Oh well, rants over...enjoy!
Xander walked through the darkened streets of Sunnydale determined to find his missing friend. Since Buffy showed off her newfound talent to him and Anya at the Magic Box, no one has seen hide nor hair of her, for several hours. “Of course no one has seen her…she’s invisible!” Xander inwardly chuckled.



In an instant, Xander’s mind shifted from humor, to seriousness, as he reconfirmed that it was crucial that he finds her. After the pylon turned into a tapioca-like substance in his and Anya’s hands, they both agreed that this fate might befall their visually-challenged friend. After that incident, Xander had launched into full search mode for Buffy. With heavy footfalls, Xander begrudgingly headed towards the last place he thought or hoped that his friend was…Spike’s crypt.



“I wonder what it would take, to get Tuesdays taken off the calendars…permanently?” Xander grumbled his question, under his breath. As he noticed a couple walking together, he momentarily stilled his voice. Once Xander passed them, he continued, “I doubt it would work. I can picture it now, dozens of demons parading down Main Street, protesting with signs and catchy songs. Declaring that wreaking havoc upon Sunnydale every Tuesday was their constitutional right, or some sort of garbage like that! Really, nothing would surprise me around here.”



Since Xander had checked in with everyone and scoped out all of Buffy’s typical hangouts, Spike’s was the last stop. “Mr. Stalker USA should have some idea where to find her,” Xander continued to murmur while he tentatively pushed open the crypt door.



As he slowly walked over the threshold, the darkness of the crypt surrounded Xander’s unhurried form. Despite only being inside Spike’s, for lack of a better term, home one other time, he knew that something was amiss. The room was in complete disarray; furniture overturned, clothes strewn about, and an eerie feeling that even though all was quiet, that he wasn’t alone.



“Spike?”



Xander’s hesitant voice filled the air. After several moments, of no response, Xander continued forward. Once he reached the sarcophagus in the middle of the room, he heard faint noises. Following the sounds, he noticed an opening in which lead below. Standing above the hole, Xander noticed flickers of candlelight emanating upwards and the sounds seemed to be increasing, in volume and frequency.



Echoed voices, of feminine mews and hitched breaths and masculine moans and murmured praises, intertwined. This primal harmony pervaded Xander’s mind. Instantly, he became aroused. His swelling manhood, pressed against the zipper of his pants, which caused a combination of pain and pleasure to resonate throughout his body.



Xander’s lust-riddled mind demanded for more. Hearing was not enough. He needed to see. Xander silently and cautiously, lowered himself to the floor. He attempted to position his body in numerous configurations, in order to see down inside, to no avail.



With a flash of genius, Xander remembered his emergency stash. These four objects, always remained within his pockets. Known as his Sunnydale’s necessaries; a stake, vile of holy water, a small cross and a mirror. The initial three were added shortly to the fourth, after the incident with Angel and Spike, during Parent Teacher night. When two Master vamps have your neck exposed, offering one another the first sip, like two guys over a bottle of Jameson’s, makes one think twice about being without.



The mirror was placed within his pocket, the first week of meeting Buffy. Well, when you have a close friend who is an extremely hot teenage girl, it’s always best to have one available. Xander could remember each “You’re the best, Xand” and every tight ‘friendship’ squeeze, he had received from Buffy, when she needed a mirror, and he offered his.



The mirror also became handy, when Xander was accidentally clumsy and dropped said mirror. Then strangely, this wayward mirror would find its way under Buffy’s feet. Incidentally, said mirror, would reveal the hidden treasures of smooth, bronzed skin and cute cotton panties, that lied beneath her very short skirts. This mirror, gratefully, added numerous more memories to Xander’s ever-depleting spank bank. Since then, his trusty mirror always remained a pocket away.



Xander fumbled his mirror slightly, when the crescendo of the activity below, nearly reached seismic proportions. The once mews and hitched breaths, transformed into litanies of “Yes-es!” and “Oh god-s!”



Determination to witness this performance focused Xander upon his task. He positioned himself next to the opening, carefully lowering his mirrored hand. After several adjustments, he could witness the act that resounded throughout his lust-riddled mind.



Xander was momentarily bewildered at what he saw…Absolutely Nothing!



"What the...? I don’t see anything! Duh…Spike must have a girl vamp down there!"



Xander pulled his mirrored hand from the opening and placed it upon the ground. With a firm decision, Xander inwardly agreed that he did not want to be caught being a peeking-tom by two vamps! He slowly began to remove himself from the dusty crypt floor. With soft, quick steps, Xander proceeded to walk towards the door. The further that his steps brought him, the greater the feminine cries became. Like a siren’s song, Xander was mesmerized. As if in a spell, he mindlessly returned to the opening. Being caught, almost instantly, became the furthest notion within his mind. Quickly, Xander situated himself upon the floor, for a second time. This time, the position Xander chose, allowed him to see, the lower level of Spike’s crypt.



For a second time, Xander was confused at what was transpiring before him. Despite dual voices that echoed from below, Spike was alone. He lay within the center of a luxurious four-posted bed. Exquisite bliss seemed to fill his features; lids half-mast, mouth parted, tongue nestled between blunt teeth, jaw set. His upper body was corded with exertion; biceps, chest and abdomen remained taut. Xander noticed that Spike’s hands were in a fixed position within the air. His fingers were spread, and appeared to be digging into something.



Upon further scrutiny, Xander noticed small, pressured indents upon Spike’s chest. Xander’s gaze then traveled downward. He noticed that more, but larger indents appearing upon Spike’s hips and upper thighs. Xander’s eyes widened as he noticed that Spike’s, well spike, was disappearing and reappearing in a steady tempo, which matched his bucking hips. Xander’s grip tightened upon the side of the opening, as this erotic episode continued. Spike’s deep growl now joined the feminine chants,



“Fuck, you’re so bloody tight! You’re going to dust me with your heat! I swear…the sun resides between your luscious thighs!”



Xander’s mind was unable to process what was happening. All he knew, was that he couldn’t just watch any longer. Xander pulled himself from his position and with fervent urgency, started to work at the fastenings of his pants. Within moments, his pulsating cock was in his eager fist. Xander tugged with hasty, uncoordinated movements. After several strokes, he finally reached a pace, which by the continued sounds that echoed from below, seemed to match Spike’s. Xander closed his eyes, as he sought his release.



A feminine shrill of pure ecstasy filled the air, which instantly brought forth Xander’s climax. As his hot seed spilled forward upon his fist, a silent word rushed past Xander’s lips, which echoed Spike’s, that was screamed from below,


“Buffy!”



With several move leisurely tugs Xander slumped upon the floor, breathlessly. Within moments, the renewed sounds of pleasure caused Xander to stir. He slowly placed his softened member within the confines of his pants. After he used one of Spike’s stray shirts from the floor, to clean his spendings. Not to be completely nasty, Xander placed the shirt off to the side with the mirror, which he intended to take both, when he left. When he got home, he would burn the shirt.



Xander’s breaths sawed in and out, as he tried to calm his shaking body. A light sheen of sweat covered his brow. The mindless ecstasy that buzzes within after completion, still remained, while with unsteady legs, Xander pulled himself from the floor.



He quickly adjusted his clothing and hair, as he prepared to enter the lower half of Spike’s crypt. With a deep breath, and a quick, inward pep talk about big time denial, Xander descended the stairs. He noticed that Spike was now on top, undulating his hips in slow and calculating movements. The once vociferous words and sounds had returned to the soft whispers and murmurs of earlier.



“Spike?”



Xander’s voice sliced through the intertwined pleasured-filled sounds, which echoed throughout the room. Instantly, Spike stilled his moments. He warily turned his head towards Xander. Spike’s once features of sheer bliss, had transformed into ones of shock.



Despite what had transpired earlier; what Xander had seen and more so, done, he tried to repress it all. With a silent chant that now filled his mind denial…denial…denial!, Xander questioned the vamp before him,


“What are you doing?”


“What am I…What does it look like I’m doing, you nit? I’m exercising, aren’t I?”



Spike stammered out. His hips plunged forward several more times, in attempts to mimic pushups. Upon his movements, a stifled feminine yelp filled the air. Despite the sound, Xander tried to appear unaffected by it.


“Exercising? Naked. In bed,”



Xander snidely questioned. Within his mind, the chant of “denial…denial…denial…” stayed strong. Xander’s words ceased Spike’s movements. With a feline grace, Spike proceeded to stand upon his bed, and wrap a sheet around his slender hips.



“A man shouldn't use immortality as an excuse to let himself go. Gotta keep fit for the killing.” While he spoke, Spike sat upon the edge of his bed. His gaze remained steady upon Xander.


”Yuh-huh. Looks like you had a little trouble upstairs. Mini-disaster area.”



Xander gestured towards the upstairs with a nod of his head. His gaze remained fixated upon Spike. Neither man gave any indication nor acknowledgment of the naked, invisible woman that was presently within the room.



”So what, you just come here to criticize my housekeeping?”



”No, uh, no. I'm looking for Buf-“ Xander’s question was stopped instantly by Spike’s rushed words,





”Haven't seen her.”


”Well, uh, you wouldn't. The fact is, she's come down with a slight case of invisibility.”


“Yeah? How did, uh...”



In mock shock, Spike began to question Xander’s statement. Before completion of his words, his voice instantly stilled, as feminine soft murmurs and echoes of kisses filled the room. Xander noticed that Spike began to fidget slightly. Regardless, he proceeded with his curt words,


“We don't know yet,”



Neck deep within the river of de-Nile, Xander ignored everything that was transpiring before him; the erotic sounds, Spike’s earlobe moving on its own accord, Spike’s nervousness. Despite all this, Xander’s words continued,


“Anyway, she's not at the house, and I really, really need to find her.” Spike continued to fidget, while he quickly responded to Xander’s statement,


“Uh, tell you what, I'll ... take a peek around first chance I get...” as he spoke, Spike began to move his arm, in a shooing motion, towards the “empty air” next to his body. Despite his strange movements, Spike’s gaze nor words faltered, “and if we bump into each other, I'll clue her that you're on the lookout.”



”After your ... exercise,”



Xander’s disdained filled words hung within the air, while he gestured towards the bed. Which was occupied by a naked Spike and …”denial…denial…denial…” Xander’s chants renewed within his mind, refusing to finish his thought.



”Yeah, right.” Spike continued to swat at “empty air”, while he spoke. Xander turned to leave, but before he does, he turned back and gazed upon Spike.



“You know, kidding aside, Spike ... you really should get a girlfriend.” Shaking his head in distaste, Xander turned to leave. While he ascended the stairs, Xander added inwardly, “Which is not Buf…denial…denial…denial!”



After Xander retrieved the evidence that aided in his earlier activities, from the crypt floor, he quickly left. While Xander deftly weaved through the gravestones of Restfield cemetery, he murmured to himself,



“I wonder if Anya has anymore Lethe's Bramble at the Magic shop? Hopefully, Willow is in the mood to do some magic. No harm, no foul, if I beg her to erase my memory…right?”




Chapter End Notes:
Reviews...*batting eyelashes* pretty please!



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