Spike heaved a sigh and leaned heavier against the crypt wall, watching and waiting for the time when she would rise. He was already twenty-two hours into the waiting, wishing that she would rise and end his suffering and torment. To pass the time he toyed with a stake he had taken from her home before bringing her back to his own. He planned on letting her stake him for his crimes once she had risen and come to her senses. He wouldn’t fight it. Hell, he deserved it after what he had done. A better man, a better vampire would step into the next sunrise but...what the hell was he thinking? A better vampire would have known better than to sire the girl in the first place.
Reaching over, he adjusted his duster over her lifeless form. No need for her to be cold...colder when she awoke. He would have to get used to her cold corpse as opposed to her almost overheated flesh of her human days. As he ran a calloused hand over her lifeless face he paused to move a strand of hair from the pallid skin.
He had done the unthinkable. Not only had he attacked his love, but he had turned her into the one thing she had asked him not to.
A vampire.
A corpse, like himself, that walked the earth solely to feed on living beings and reign hell on the walking populace. He had single-handedly destroyed her spirit and for that, he was prepared to pay. Her screams from the night before haunted him. The vision of her terrified eyes widening in horror as he ground himself against her while suckling the life force right out of her until there was nothing left.
Her eyelids fluttered, signaling she was awaking into her revived body. Still-tanned hands flexed and fingers curled back into fists before flexing forward again; she tested her new-found strength. The leather duster shifted as her body awakened and muscles twitched to comply without the benefit of blood rushing through her limbs.
He was one step closer to ending his existence when her newly- golden eyes flickered hungrily and fangs descended from her gums. He would give her that. Give her the first taste of blood; the first task in his penance.
Spike edged closer to his beloved, cupping the back of her neck as she struggled to sit up under her own power. He ran a loving hand down her cheek and kissed her neck, more specifically the scar he had left, reverently before directing her fangs to his own neck and awaited the piercing pain.
It never came.
Her fangs had ascended once more and she sat staring at him, attempting to control her facial features and return to her human features. Her mouth opened and she asked only one question, “Why?”
The question shook him to his very soul-less core and tears shimmered in his eyes as he tried to pull away from her cold embrace. She pulled him back and held his head close to her breast, rocking back and forth to soothe him. She made sure he wasn’t going to run away from her like she had done to him so many times. It was time for new beginnings.
He became William again in that moment. He stuttered his apologies and backed away from her body. She still looked the same, and it killed him all over again. Spike handed her the stake and held his arms away from his chest, mimicking the messiah. “I give you permission, Buffy. I give you a sire’s permission to take your revenge.” He said quietly, locking his blue eyes on her hazel ones. He was ready to become dust; suffer for his crimes in whatever hell was awaiting him.
Blinking, she alternated her gaze between his heart and the stake. Finally, she dropped the stake to the floor and crawled to his feet, wrapping her arms around his legs. “No.”
He collapsed bonelessly in her awaiting arms and tangled his hand in her hair, seeking her willing comfort as he took in the revelation. He would have bet all the kittens in the world that the slayer would want to end his existence the moment she realized she was what she loathed, that she was like him... and then he saw it. She had the spark.
She still had her soul and was bound to the one person she should have never trusted.
“You aren’t leaving me. Ever.” Buffy mumbled against his shirt, stroking the cotton- covered muscles. “Never ever. You got that?”
Confused, he tilted his head to the side.
Her nails dug into his skin, but he couldn’t find the will to care. She was touching him, and he wasn’t dust.
“I need you, Spike.” She stated softly. “I love you.”
Well, that was just a kick in the pants. Turn the girl into a monster and she declares her love. Couldn’t have bloody well done that while she was still living...and then he realized. “Nothin’ has to change, Slayer. Jus’ stay out of the sun and avoid pointy wooden objects near the chest an’ you’ll be fine. You don’t need me,” he assured her softly.
“You turned me into a demon.” Her tone wasn’t accusatory, more matter of fact, and it chilled him to the bone. He could understand anger, hatred, and rage but compassion, forgiveness and dare he say, love, was not something he had been prepared for when she woke in her undead state. “You turned me into a demon, and I still love you. I should hate you for doing this to me, but I just can’t seem to. I didn’t want this. God...can I still say that?”
“Say what, pet?” He asked curiously. She had just said she loved him, willingly and repeatedly, of course his brain had fried itself.
“God.” Buffy furrowed her brow. “I just said it twice and nothing happened, so I guess it is alright. Anyway, I still love you, and you have yet to say anything about that.”
“You still have your soul.”
She nodded. “Figured as much. Turns out Giles’ fancy books aren’t just there to look pretty. They all pretty much came to the same conclusion about slayers being vamped. You going to say I love you back, or was that kind of dependent on a heart beat?”
Spike was very glad he didn’t have to breathe. She kept repeating the three little words he had longed to hear his entire existence, and she was saying them without the benefit of torture or threat of death. “I-I love you, Buffy, but...why aren’t you staking me right now? I made you a bloody demon! A thing! A monster jus’ like me.”
He was unprepared for what came out of her pretty little mouth next.
“You’re all I’ve got left. My friends won’t understand, and Dawn’s going to be pretty freaked out, besides I need someone to teach me all about being a good little vamp,” she said, smiling a bit at the end. She traced a heart over where his dead heart resided in his chest. “I need you, and I need you to teach me, and stay with me, and protect me, and...I need you to love me, Spike.”
“Always will, Buffy, always.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Just a friendly little reminder that no one likes hate mail and if they start coming again I will pull every single one of my fics, so if you really hate my writing that much please continue to send the emails. I really hate to post that but there are a few select people that have decided to flood my email account with emails attacking my person as well as my writing and it's beginning to wear on my nerves. For those of you wondering 'hey, when's she finally going to finish all of her other stories?' I have an answer for you. Soon. My other laptop finally decided to die its final death, so it has been replaced and I'm in the process of moving all of my files onto the new computer. As soon as I finish re-organizing my files I will be able to start posting new chapters weekly. Thank you for those who have been patient with me. Now on to the story!