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disclaimer: is it MINE?! No. Evil.
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(Angel leans forward to kiss Buffy, who recoils in horror)

BUFFY: EW! Ew, no!

ANGEL: (pouting) What? WHY!?

BUFFY: Because...your hair!

(Angel immediately panics and lifts hands to hair)

ANGEL: NOOOOOO! What's wrong with it?! This can't be happening!!!! (pulls on hair, trying to get it to stay up) This can't be happening, damn it! I'm out of hair gel, too!

(We see Caleb rise behind Angel, and say nothing cuz it's too amusing)

CALEB: You vampire whore! Did you think you and your Shaggies could 'beat me'?!

(Angel turns, yelps, and runs, slaming into a pillar and knocking himself out)

BUFFY: (pissed) It's Scoobies...andyou konw damn well that's what it is...don't you RILEY?!

(She jumps on his back and pulls off his mask, revealing said Iowa boy)

RILEY: Curses! And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your dumb dog!!!

BUFFY: (whispering) Riley...wrong show.

RILEY: Oh yeah...can I have a script please?

(Script is thrown at his head. He reads through it)

RILEY: There we go. Let's try this again. (clears throat) Buffy, I was never married to Sam. I love you and always will! Run away with me!!!

SPIKE: Hold on!!

(He runs in and pushes Riley away, and Riley's pissed)

SPIKE: I love you more! Choose me!

RILEY: Choose me!

SPIKE: Choose me!

RILEY: Choose me!

SPIKE: Choose me!

BUFFY: (sarcastically, underneath breath) Oh THIS is hard...

(Author enters, holding shot gun)

AUTHOR: I'll solve this!!! (Shoots Riley and he dies and there is much rejoicing)

BUFFY: Why did you do that?

AUTHOR: It's my story, damn it! Things go the way I want, so get over it!

BUFFY: What?! Why! This fic is about ME!!!

SPIKE: And me!

AUTHOR: Because I'M the one at the computer, surrounded by 8 soda cans and hopped up on Benedryll, that's why! AND, I'm not fictional!

SPIKE: She has a point...

BUFFY: (stomps floor and pouts) Fine.

AUTHOR: Bye now.

SPIKE: Wait! What about the First And everyone else at the house?

AUTHOR: Pssh. Like I care about them. Consider the SITs and the First gone.

(Author leaves room, and Buffy and Spike stand, looking at each other before rushing to each other and kissing madly. Angel wakes up and sees them)

ANGEL: Hey! What are you-

(Cut off because Author really doesn't like him and his voice irritates her, so she shot him. Buffy and Spike are magically transported to a land where all is good and Spike can run around in the sun and make pretty babies with Buffy)

BUFFY & SPIKE: I love you!

BUFFY: I thought she would prolong that a bit more...

SPIKE: Well, she's obviously too tire to write something detailed or to care that this story made NO sense whatsoever, or to care that she can't spell. No let the girl go to bed so you and me can snog!

(And they do)

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[a/n]---um...I really don't know where this came from...





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