Author's Chapter Notes:
Just something that I thought of since "Dirty Girls" ended so badly.
Buffy was in her room staring out her window, lost in thought. She still couldn't believe how the night had gone and couldn't help but feel terrible about the girls and what happened to Xander, but she wouldn't let herself cry. She was afraid that if she started she wouldn't be able to stop. After she went for a walk around Sunnydale by herself, she came back to the house to find everyone asleep. She was surprised they could sleep after what happened; she didn't think she would be able to. Willow was staying at the hospital with Xander. She was still lost in her thoughts when she heard her door open and knew who it was without even looking back. Spike came into her room and closed the door behind him. He was staring at her back and she didn't even move when he walked in. "Are you okay?" He asked her even though he knew there was no way she could be; he just wanted her to say something. All she did was remain quiet while still staring out the window. Spike suddenly hoped that she didn't go catatonic again, so he tried again to get some reaction. "Slayer?" That did the trick.

"Don't call me that." She replied, her voice low and harsh. Then she stood up and looked at him. "You think you could use my name, it would make me seem more human." She told him, her voice a little more gentle. He nodded.

"Of course, so are you okay?" Buffy gave a short laugh.

"Sure, why wouldn't I be? I only got a few girls hurt and killed and Xander lost an eye because of me so why wouldn't I be okay?" She said trying not to let the tears come, but she wasn't having much luck.

"It wasn't your fault, it could have happened to anyone." Buffy looked at him.

"It was my fault, I'm the one that was selfish to have this over with and take those girls to the vineyard without even knowing what we were up against. Me and my stupid decisions, everyone said it was a trap but of course I didn't listen. Even though they won't say it right now I know they all blame me for what happened. I saw the looks I got today and I deserve it." Spike looked at her sad face and really felt for her.

"Buffy, I'm really sorry for what happened today. I want you to know that I don't blame you and no matter what happens I'll always be on your side, till the end of the world." He told her with a smile. She gave him a faint smile in return.

"It's funny that you're the one I can always count on, what's up with that?" Spike grabbed a pillow off the bed and threw it at her and she caught it. She laughed and it seemed like she hasn't done that in forever and threw the pillow back on the bed. He smiled at her and brushed hair out of her face.

"I want you to know something, Buffy. You are truly an amazing person, best I've ever known. Not to mention the strongest and the most beautiful." Buffy looked at him.

"Yeah, I really feel strong and beautiful right now." She replied.

"What do you see when you look in the mirror?" She looked at him wondering where this was going.

"Nothing," she answered and Spike shook his head.

"No, that's what I see when I look in the mirror." He took her hand and pulled her toward her mirror. They were standing in front of it and Buffy just saw herself looking back at her, but no Spike. "I'll tell you what I see. I see a blonde goddess with a big heart that is so full of love. That whenever she smiles it could light up the entire world, and has big green eyes that any man could get lost in. You are beautiful, Buffy and I don't just mean on the outside. Infact, I think everyone can see it but you. I always have." Buffy let the tears fall then and she turned away from the mirror and looked at the man before her.

"I don't think anyone sees me the way you do." She told him and he nodded.

"You're probably right about that. I figured you needed to hear some encouragement right about now." He then reached into his pocket. "Almost forgot why I came up here in the first place. I have something for you." He pulled out a long, black, box and handed it to her.

"What's this?" She asked.

"To find that out, you're gonna have to open it." She smiled and opened up the box and what she saw was a beautiful, silver, heart shaped locket. "I've had it for a while and never really knew when would be a good time to give it to you. I figured now is as good a time as any." Buffy looked at him.

"It's beautiful, thank you." She told him and he smiled.

"You're welcome; I took the liberty of already putting a picture in it for you. Couldn't think of anything better." Buffy took the locket out of the box and opened it up and what she saw was a picture of Joyce staring back at her. It was one of her favorite pictures. She felt tears coming now.

"Mom," she said almost a whisper.

"This way she'll always be in your heart, literally." He told her with a smile and she smiled back at him. She then went towards him and hugged him. Spike was surprised at first since she's never actually hugged him before. He then wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back.

"Thank you and I mean that. Thank you for everything." She told him.

"Don't mention it." He said trying not to let the tears fall that he was holding back. She then pulled away from him.

"Could you put it on me?" He nodded and she handed him the locket. She walked over to the mirror again and she felt him behind her. He put the locket around her neck and let it fall against her skin. He then wrapped his arms around her.

"Perfect," he whispered in her ear. He walked back towards her door. "I guess I should let you rest now, it's been a long night." She nodded and she knew she had to say something before he left.

"Spike, there's something I've been meaning to say for a long time now. I figure now is as good a time as any." She took a deep breath and continued. "Spike, I want you to know that I...I love you." Spike then had the brightest smile on his face that she's ever seen. He walked over to her and gently lifted up her chin and gave her a soft kiss on the lips that lasted for a few seconds. He then walked back to her door.

"Took you long enough." He replied. "Incase you forgot, I love you too." She smiled back at him, she could never forget. "Goodnight, Buffy." He told her.

"Goodnight, William." He smiled again before walking out of her room. Buffy realized how tired she was and got into bed, thinking that she might get a good night's sleep for a change. She was staring up at her ceiling while her hand was around the locket. "Goodnight, Mom." She said as she drifted off to sleep. Spike stood outside the Slayer's room until he was sure that she was asleep. He then walked away with a big smile on his face, love's bitch indeed.

The End





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