September 22nd by Suzee
Story by Suzee
Author's Notes:
I tried posting this morning at 9:25, but the semi nearby hurricane was messing with my internet, so I'm posting is 9:25 in Germany, I think. And also, I don't know how much Learning Curve got lost in all the updates yesterday, so I thought I'd mention that it was updated yesterday.
September 22nd

Well I wonder could it be
When I was dreaming 'bout you baby
You were dreaming of me

She remembered him coming to her in her dreams that night. In her dreams that were supposed to be used to reveal her subconscious desires to her. This dream hadn't been magic induced, she was sure of that.

Sure of it because it wasn't the first time she'd had this dream. They never did more thank kiss in her dreams. They were delicate, light, loving, caring, gentle kisses. That expressed her deep, not so dark feelings.

She just wondered if after all she'd put him through, if he still wanted her. She wouldn't hold it against him if he hated her now.

But she couldn't stop the wondering. Couldn't help but think about whether or not he wanted a real relationship from her. Something real.

She wondered, but she still couldn't bring herself to do anything about it.

Call me crazy, call me blind
To still be suffering is stupid after all of this time

Did I lose my love to someone better
And does she love you like I do
I do, you know I really, really do

She waited too long, pushed him too far away.

He had someone else now. She wanted to go over to them and….what? Congratulate them? Interrogate them? Beat them up? She didn't know what she wanted to do once she got over there, but she knew she wanted to do something.

So of course she sat down at a table across the room from them and tried her best to ignore them, to look like she didn't care.

Because she shouldn't. It was Spike. Evil, filthy, dirty, beautiful, loving, caring Spike—her saving grace since she'd been brought back from the grave. So she stayed awake for the fact that she shouldn't care and for the fact that she did care. Either way she wouldn't be good for him.

It was twisted logic, but she was Buffy after all.

Well hey
So much I need to say
Been lonely since the day
The day you went away
So sad but true
For me there's only you
Been crying since the day
The day you went away

I remember date and time
September twenty second
Sunday twenty five after nine
In the doorway with your case
No longer shouting at each other
There were tears on our faces

He was leaving.

Spike was leaving.

Of course, it did make sense. She'd put him through hell, well more than hell, these past few months.

She shouldn't have expected him to stay.

But somewhere deep inside…she had.

It was sad, in a way, that the only time they were true with each other, was when he told her he was leaving, when it was too late.

She'd started crying when she realized her way of keeping him there, keeping him from having too much of her to get tired of her, had backfired.

He was leaving.

And it was all her fault.

She begged him to stay, but he didn't.

She hadn't stopped crying since.

And we were letting go of something special

Something we'll never have again

I know, I guess I really really know

The day you went away

The day you went away

Why do we never know what we've got 'til it's gone

How could I carry on

The day you went away

Cause I've been missing you so much I have to say

Been crying since the day

The day you went away

The day you went away

The day you went away


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