I loved this story and it was short but to the point. The way The GIft should have gone. I'm a BTVS and Spuffy writer.

I liked it...and that's surprising because I'm me, you know? 'Anal retentive, cynical, jaded, bitter therefore really hard to please' me. The reason I thought I wouldn't like it is because there were quite a few typos and I suggest you get a beta for that because, man, you will so find gratification in that (I sure as hell do). It would make your story seem more polished and presentable (not that it isn't now but with a post that has some very obvious typos on it, people tend to move away instantly). My second criticism is that I felt you should've entered more detail into it. Facial expressions, actions, just detail. The words, the feel, everything about it was very teary and heartfelt, and if you had gone into more detail with it, it would've been even more teary and heartfelt.

I guess I can really sense the emotional aspect of this because I am actor (not yet professionally though...damn) but I am used to reading these sorts of script-like writing and it's just very good. I can't really point the particular aspects of the goodness but it's just there. It has that soul to it. If you want help entering more detail into the work, I can give you a hand. Email me at devadevin@gmail.com

Author's Response: thanks for the comments deva. I tried to fix it up a little after i read your review and I hope it's a little better now. any help from reviewers is great since I only started doing this yesturday. it would probably help if I had spell check :) thanks again! glad you liked it.