Chapter 1

Buffy Summers walked the halls of Sunnydale High. It was her first day at a new school and she was already feeling like she didn’t belong there. She wasn’t paying attention and crashed into someone, causing her to fall down. She looked up to see two girls laughing, and a guy with bleach blond hair and a leather duster.

“You all right?” he asked, not really all that concerned.

She nodded and stood up.

“Just watch where you’re going,” was all he said before walking away, the girls trailing after him.

Buffy let out a sigh. She was already off to a good start.

“Don’t let them get to you. They think they own this school.”

Buffy turned at the voice to see a red headed girl standing behind her. “Yeah, I guess.”

The girl smiled. “You’re new, right?”

Buffy nodded again. “I just moved here from LA.”

“That’s cool; I would love to go to Los Angeles.”

Buffy shrugged. “It’s not so great.”

The red head ignored her comment. “I’m Willow, what’s your name?”

“It’s Buffy,” she answered.

Willow put her arm around Buffy as they started walking. “I’ll introduce you to some of my friends. Just stick with us and you should be fine. I would avoid those other kids if I were you. They have a habit of making people’s lives miserable.”

Buffy took in what the other girl was saying. “Let me guess, they would be the popular crowd.”

Willow nodded. “Yeah, the guy was Spike. He’s like one of the most popular guys in school. He always has girls hanging around him. I bet half the time he doesn’t even know their names.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

Willow looked at her new friend. “So, what were you like in your other school? Did you have to deal with really mean popular kids?”

Buffy gave a humorless laugh. “I was one of them.”

Willow raised her eyebrows in confusion.

Buffy decided to clarify for her. “I wasn’t really mean or anything, but I was one of the popular kids.”

“What changed?” Willow wondered.

Buffy took on a pained expression before replying. “I moved here.”


* * * * *


Willow introduced Buffy to her friends at lunch later in the day.

She liked them all instantly.

Xander was funny and always tried to make people laugh.

Cordelia used to be one of the popular kids, until she started to date Xander and realized that popularity wasn’t everything.

Oz, Willow’s boyfriend, was the quiet type and yet played guitar in a band.

Tara was Xander’s sister and she was very shy, but really sweet.

Buffy found herself laughing at something Xander said and it felt like she hadn’t laughed in a long time. She gazed over at another table in the cafeteria that the popular group was sitting at. She figured that out because she noticed that Spike was among them, with some brunette on his lap. She had to admit that he was good looking, but way out of her league. She was nobody these days. Buffy felt saddened when she saw Spike start to kiss the girl, then felt a twinge of jealousy and didn’t even know why. She continued to watch them, when Spike suddenly pulled away from the girl and looked right at Buffy. She turned away quickly and hoped that he didn’t notice her staring.


* * * * *


Buffy got home after school and placed her bag on the couch. She looked around at the empty house and again felt saddened, not thinking that she belonged there. Her father walked out of the kitchen, with his cell phone attached to his ear. She caught the end of his conversation to find him yelling at someone, but didn’t know what it was about.

He hung up and finally took notice of her there. “Hey, how was your first day?”

She shrugged. “It was okay.”

“You have homework?”

Buffy nodded. “Yeah, I was wondering if you could help me with this one assignment. I’m not sure I really understand it,” she said, trying to get her father to do something with her.

Hank was about to respond, but his phone rang again. “I’m sorry, Buffy. I’m a little busy right now, I’m sure you would be able to figure it out,” he claimed, then answered the phone and went to find some privacy.

Buffy let out a sigh as she watched him go, knowing that he would have something more important to do. She didn’t even know why she bothered. Buffy headed upstairs to her room and sat on the bed, then grabbed her stuffed pig and held it close to her. “Say hello to your new life,” she whispered to herself, clutching the pig to her chest and finally letting the tears fall.

Chapter 2

Two weeks went by and Buffy was getting better at school. In LA she would always get bad grades in her classes, but here she was definitely improving. She had Willow to thank for that. She had better friends here than she ever had before. Buffy was walking to her locker, when she heard a commotion and a lot of raised voices in the distance. She went to see what was going on and was stunned at the sight in front of her. A dark haired girl had her hand around a jock’s throat, and she didn’t look pleased.

“I told you to leave her the hell alone, you got that? She never did anything to you,” she spat, letting him go after a moment.

He rubbed his neck and glared at her. “You’re a crazy bitch.”

She rolled her eyes. “Tell me something I don’t know. Get lost and if I see you messing with my sister again, I will personally kick your ass.”

The guy didn’t have to be told twice and ran in the other direction.

The girl looked at the crowd around her. “The show’s over,” she told them, then turned to the younger girl next to her. “It’s okay now, Dawny. I’m sure that jerk won’t bother you again.”

She nodded and hugged her sister.

Buffy was still standing there, when the older girl glanced up at her.

“Didn’t I say the show was over?”

Buffy was startled out of her reverie. “I’m sorry; I just wanted to see what was going on. That was pretty cool.”

The brunette grinned. “Yeah, I thought so. I’m Faith, by the way.”

She smiled in response. “I’m Buffy; it’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise, this is Dawn.”

Buffy smiled at the younger girl, who returned it.

They were interrupted by another voice.

“Nice work, Lehane. That was pretty good.”

Buffy was surprised when Spike showed up.

Faith smirked now. “You know it,” she said, giving him a high five.

Buffy seemed to be even more confused.

Spike ruffled Dawn’s hair. “How’ve you been, kid?”

She pulled away, slapping him lightly on the arm. “I’m not a kid.”

Spike held his hands up in surrender. “Of course you’re not, my mistake.”

Faith noticed Buffy standing there in silence and introduced them. “Spike, this is Buffy. Not sure if you met each other yet.”

Spike finally noticed Buffy there and smiled. “Right, the clumsy girl. We go way back.”

Buffy glared at him.

He only winked at her and turned back to Faith “I’ll catch you ladies later.”

Faith nodded and focused back on her sister once he was gone. “You should get to class, squirt.”

Dawn rolled her eyes at the nickname. “Yeah, see you later,” she said, heading away from them.

Buffy finally spoke up when they were alone. “You’re friends with Spike?”

Faith nodded. “Yeah, me and bleach boy grew up together basically. Well, since he moved here. We still hang whenever he’s not around those losers he calls friends these days.”

Buffy nodded in understanding. “I take it you don’t like them.”

Faith shook her head. “Hardly, they’re total snobs. I can’t stand that chick Spike is dating; even he can do better than that. She’s psychotic and I mean literally, but he obviously can’t see it.”

Buffy figured that she was referring to the dark haired girl she saw Spike with.

“So, you from LA?” Faith asked suddenly.

Buffy nodded again, not sure what else to say.

Faith only smiled at her. “Did you really burn down the gym at your old school?”

Buffy was surprised by the question. “How did you know that?”

Faith shrugged. “I snuck into the office at lunch and read your file.”

Buffy was about to ask her about that, but never got the chance.

“We just don’t get a lot of new kids, so I was curious. I didn’t tell anyone.”

Buffy sighed in relief. She didn’t want people to know about that, figuring her reputation was already bad enough.

Faith grabbed her arm. “Let’s get out of here, B.”

Buffy only nodded and let Faith lead her out of the school.

Chapter 3

Buffy entered her house later that day to find her father waiting for her in the living room.

“This can’t be good,” she said, wondering what she did wrong now.

Hank got off of the couch and moved over to her. “We need to talk, Buffy.”

She nodded and figured a lecture was coming, but this time she didn’t know why. “What about?”

Hank looked like he was thinking about how to start the conversation. “I have some business to take care of in New York. I would be leaving in a few days and will probably be gone for a couple of months.”

Buffy was surprised by that. “We’re going to New York?”

Hank shook his head. “No, I’m going to New York. I can’t have you come with me.”

Buffy felt hurt, but tried not to show it. “So, I’m just going to stay here by myself?”

“You know I can’t let you stay here alone. I called an old friend that lives here and asked him for a favor. He was actually a friend of your mother’s. Anyway, he has agreed to let you stay with him until I return.”

Buffy couldn’t believe what was happening. “You’re making me stay with a stranger?”

Hank knew this would be difficult. His daughter could always be stubborn, just like her mother. “He’s decent and has a son around your age. I’m sure you’ll be fine,” he finished, walking away from her.

It was then that Buffy panicked. She felt tears in her eyes and didn’t care to hide them. “Can’t I go with you, Daddy? I promise I won’t be in the way. You won’t even notice me. Please, take me with you,” she practically pleaded.

Hank glanced at his daughter for a brief second, then turned away. “I’m sorry, Buffy. It would be best if you stayed here. You should pack what you would need,” was the last thing he said before heading up the stairs.

Buffy couldn’t help the tears from falling down her face as she sat on the couch. She buried her face in her hands and let the sobs take over her body.


* * * * *


Hank pulled up to a big house a few days later.

Buffy looked at the place where she would be living for the next couple of months and again felt disappointed. She couldn’t believe her father was dumping her there.

They got out of the car and walked up to the house.

Hank knocked on the door.

A man dressed in tweed answered it after a moment. He wore glasses and seemed to be kind enough. “Mr. Summers, it’s nice to see you again.”

Hank nodded. “Same to you, Mr. Giles. This is Buffy, my daughter.”

Giles turned his gaze on the girl. “It’s nice to meet you, Buffy. Your mother talked about you constantly.”

Buffy felt saddened at the thought of her mother and wondered why she never met this man before.

Hank decided to change the subject. “I’m really glad you could take her on such short notice.”

Giles nodded as well. “It’s quite all right. Please, come in.”

Buffy stepped into the house, followed by Hank.

He handed her the bag he was carrying and gave her a look. “I’ll call you later, Buffy. You be good and stay out of trouble.”

All she could do was nod.

Hank gave the other man a smile, then left the house.

Giles closed the door and gazed at the young girl. “I’ll show you to the guestroom. My son should be home soon. There’s no telling where he is right now.”

That didn’t make Buffy feel any better as she followed after him.


* * * * *


Buffy put some of her stuff away when she was left alone in her new room. It wasn’t so bad and it was definitely bigger than her room at home. She placed Mr. Gordo on the bed and lay down.

“Say hello to your new home,” she said to herself, then glanced around the room. “It’s more like a prison.” She hugged the pig close to her. The place wasn’t so bad and Mr. Giles seemed nice enough, but she still felt miserable and even more alone. She wished things could be the way they were back in Los Angeles when she was younger, before her mom died. They were a happy family then, more or less. Her dad would do stuff with her. Now, he could hardly even look at her. Buffy was broke out of her reverie when she heard voices downstairs. She left her room to see what was going on and decided to listen at the top of the stairs. She heard Giles talking to someone and figured it was his son. Her eyes widened once she recognized the other person. She would know that voice anywhere. Buffy was staying in Spike’s house.

Could life possibly get any worse?

Chapter 4

“You’re letting some bint stay here? This isn’t a bloody motel!”

Giles let out a sigh. “I didn’t have a choice, William. Her father went to New York and she can’t stay in her house alone. She’s only sixteen. I owe it to her mother. Buffy seems like a nice girl.”

Spike raised his eyebrows at the familiar name. “Buffy? Buffy Summers?” he wondered.

Giles nodded. “Yes, how did you know?”

Spike groaned. “Bloody great.”

Buffy heard enough and finally made her presence known in the kitchen, where the argument was taking place.

Spike turned to look at her.

“Sorry, I wanted to see what all the noise was about.”

Spike rolled his eyes and walked by her. “I’ll be in my room,” he told them, making his way up the stairs.

They heard a door slam and then loud music blasting.

Giles rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry about that. My son can be very difficult.”

Buffy nodded and gave him a small smile. “I don’t think he really wants me here.”

Giles shook his head. “Nonsense, he’ll get used to it,” he claimed, cringing when the music got louder.

“How can you survive with him blasting the Sex Pistols?”

Giles stared at her, shocked that she knew what music it was. “I honestly don’t know. Perhaps I have gotten used to it.”

Buffy nodded in understanding. She would sometimes always lock herself in her room and blast music when her parents were fighting. They did that more when Buffy got older. The fights were usually about her and she felt guilty knowing that she was the cause of most of their problems.


* * * * *


She went up to her room a few minutes later and paused outside of Spike’s door for a moment.

It suddenly swung open and he stood there glaring at her.

Buffy noticed that he was shirtless and couldn’t stop staring at his chest.

Spike saw where her eyes rested, a smirk now forming on his face. “See anything you like, pet?”

Buffy shook herself out of the daze she found herself in, crossing her arms over her chest. “I was looking for the bathroom.”

Spike pointed to the door next to his room.

She nodded and moved over to it, but Spike got there first.

“This was actually where I was headed,” he said with a smile, closing the door in her face.

Buffy really wished that she could have wiped that smile off of his features. She shook her head and was about to walk back to her room, but stopped to look in Spike’s instead. She took a deep breath before entering his room, figuring it couldn’t hurt to look around for a second. Almost everything in his room was black. He really needed to learn about colors. Buffy was browsing through his music collection and was impressed by what she found. She was also stunned to not find anything from Billy Idol, assuming that Spike stole his look from the rockstar. She glanced around some more, locating a picture on his desk. She picked it up to see an attractive older woman with long, dark hair. She was standing next to a young boy with curly, brown hair and glasses. She realized that the boy was Spike and the woman was probably his mother. Buffy couldn’t believe Spike used to look like that, he seemed so decent then. She wondered where his mother was, but was brought out of her thoughts by a voice in the doorway.

“Can I help you with something?”

Buffy turned around to see Spike standing there, and he didn’t look happy.

Spike went over to her and snatched the photo out of her hands. “You shouldn’t be in here,” he said harshly.

Buffy backed away a little. “I’m sorry, I was just looking around. I didn’t mess with anything.”

Spike placed the picture back on his desk.

“Is that your mother?” she wondered.

He looked back at her, with cold eyes. “That’s none of your business, Betty. Just stay out of here from now on, you got that? It’s bad enough that you have to stay here. What? Your father didn’t want you around, so he dumped you on us? I don’t think we should have to suffer for that.”

Buffy had tears in her eyes at his cruel words, then backed out of the room. “I’m sorry I bothered you.”

Spike watched her go with a sigh. He didn’t mean to say that and felt even worse when he saw the look on her face. He knew these next few months would feel like an eternity. He just prayed that they would be able to survive each other.

Chapter 5

Buffy was sitting on her bed and clutching Mr. Gordo to her chest, when there was a sudden knock on the door.

“It’s open,” she said, surprised when Spike came into the room.

He took a deep breath. “Look, I wanted to say I’m sorry. I get a bit angry when people look at my stuff, but I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

Buffy shook her head and stood up. “Why should you apologize for the truth? What you said was right. He could have taken me to New York with him, but he didn’t. He didn’t want me around. He never wants me around. Not anymore,” she said the last part softly, then walked by him and out of the room.

Spike let out a sigh, knowing that he had to somehow make things better.


* * * * *


Buffy walked downstairs and into the kitchen to get something to drink, noticing that Giles was talking to someone on the phone.

He turned to look at her. “Good, you’re down here. Your father’s on the phone,” he said, handing her the telephone.

Buffy’s face lit up a little as she took it from him, shocked that her dad was already calling her. She knew he couldn’t be in New York yet.

Spike entered the kitchen in that moment.

Buffy hardly even noticed as she held the phone to her ear. “Hey, Dad. How’s it going?” She listened to him for a few seconds, a frown now on her features. “Right, I guess if you have to. I was wondering if you would be able to visit next weekend. I’m sure you would be able to get away for a few days. Maybe we could go to LA. We haven’t visited Mom in a while. Her birthday’s coming up.” She stopped talking and listened to what he was saying on the other line, trying not to let more tears fall. “Come on, Dad. I’m only asking for a few days, please?” She sighed and listened some more. “Yeah, okay. Maybe some other time, then.” Buffy felt pained when he hung up and took the phone away from her ear. “Love you, too,” she whispered to herself, placing the phone back on the receiver. She glanced up to notice that Giles and Spike were standing there and staring at her. She only shrugged, forcing a small smile on her face. “He has more important things to do. I should have known, right?” she said, not really wanting an answer. “I’m tired, I think I’m gonna lay down for a bit.” Buffy walked out of the kitchen and went back upstairs to her room.

Spike spoke up once she was gone. “Bloody pillock, doesn’t even know a cry for help when he hears it.”

“What are you talking about?” Giles asked.

Spike rolled his eyes. “Isn’t it obvious? The girl is practically begging for attention and he doesn’t even see it. He can’t even tell when his own daughter is hurting.”

Giles nodded in understanding.

Spike thought of something else. “What happened to her mum? She still live in LA?”

Giles shook his head. “Her mother passed away recently. She had a brain tumor.”

Spike felt even worse for Buffy and knew what it was like to lose your mother. He then thought back to her phone conversation. “What was all that about visiting her for her birthday?”

“I suppose she was referring to visiting the grave. I don’t know Hank very well, but he used to be a different man. They fought a lot, but he loved Joyce. When she died, it was like a part of him died with her. I know the feeling,” he stated sadly.

Spike knew that it would only upset his father more to bring up the subject of his mother, so he turned the conversation back to Buffy. “You think she’ll be okay?”

Giles raised his eyebrows. “I’m surprised you care, William. You didn’t seem like you wanted her here.”

Spike shrugged. “I don’t like sharing my space, it’s nothing against her. She’s not so bad and I didn’t know her situation then. I feel for her.”

Giles placed his hand on his son’s shoulder. “Right now, we are all this girl has. I would be most appreciative if you would make things easier for her.”

Spike thought about it and nodded. He couldn’t imagine giving her a hard time now. She stirred feelings in him from the moment he first saw her. He didn’t understand it and tried to hide the feelings, but they were still there. He knew they would definitely not go away now that she was living in his house. He had to try, though. He could be her friend, but nothing more. Spike had a girlfriend and he would never do anything to hurt Drusilla. He just figured that Buffy needed a friend at the moment. Someone that would be there when she needed them. That’s exactly what Spike would do. If she would let him.

Chapter 6

Spike entered the cafeteria the next day and glanced around. He drove Buffy to school and she remained quiet the whole time. It was obvious she didn’t want to talk. She ran off when they got there and he had yet to see her again. That’s why he was looking in the cafeteria for her. He spotted the familiar red head and her friends at their usual table, but no Buffy. He made his way over to them, stunned to see shocked expressions on their faces. He smiled and looked at the girl that caught his attention.

“You’re Willow, right?”

All she could do was nod.

“Do you know where Buffy is?”

Willow shook her head and still seemed to be at a loss for words.

Cordelia rolled her eyes. “She said she wasn’t feeling well and decided to take a walk outside. See how easy that was, Willow? You act like he’s God’s gift or something. He’s not that special.”

Spike grinned at the brunette. “Love you, too, sweetheart.”

Cordelia gave him a false smile, then lifted her middle finger. “Bite me, Spike.”

He blew her a kiss and went to look for Buffy.


* * * * *


Spike finally found her on the football field, with a few of the jocks. He grew angry when he saw one of them with their hands on Buffy, heading in their direction.

“Is there a problem here?” he said, causing them to look up at him.

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“No problem, Giles. Why don’t you be on your way now? We’ve got everything under control,” the lead jock said, handing Buffy a flask.

She snatched it out of his hand and took a long drink.

Spike had enough, ripping the flask out of her hands and pulling her up. “We’re leaving now.”

Buffy struggled in his tight grip.

He then picked her up and threw her over his shoulder, walking away from the field.

She punched his back. “Spike, put me down! What the hell are you doing?”

He put her down once they were far enough away. “I was getting you away from them. They’re trouble, Buffy. They probably would have raped you if I didn’t show up.”

Buffy shrugged and walked by him. “Who cares? At least someone would have noticed me.”

Spike grabbed her arm to stop her. “You would care. Why are you acting like this? I know you’re hurting about your old man, but this isn’t the way of dealing with it.”

Buffy glared at him, yanking her arm out of his grasp. “Oh, I suppose you would be the expert on that? You don’t know anything about me or my life. Do us both a favor and leave me alone.” She tried to walk away again, but he wouldn’t let her.

“You’re right; I don’t know anything about you or your life. I want to know, though. Help me understand, Buffy.”

She shook her head as tears started to form in her eyes. “You don’t care, no one cares.”

Spike’s heart was breaking for her. “You can trust me, Buffy. Let me care for you. What can I do to help?”

Buffy stared into his eyes, tears streaming down her face. “Bring her back. You said you wanted to help. Please, I need her. I can’t do this alone. It wasn’t fair, it should have been me.”

Spike didn’t know what she was talking about, but had a feeling it had something to do with her mother.

She broke down in sobs and fell to the ground. “Please, give her back to me.”

Spike wasn’t even sure if she was talking to him anymore. He just bent down and wrapped his arms around the fragile girl.

Buffy buried her head against his chest and continued to cry. “God, I can’t do this. I’m so alone, please make it stop.”

He whispered soothing words to her as he continued to hold her. Spike now knew that he would do whatever he could to help this girl. She wouldn’t be alone anymore.

Chapter 7

“So, you burned down the gym at your old school and that’s why you came here?”

Buffy nodded. “That’s most of it.”

They were both talking in his room later that day.

Buffy was just surprised that he let her back in there. “It wasn’t even my fault. This girl was smoking in the gym and I told her that she should put it out because she would get caught. That’s when she just threw the cigarette and it landed on the American flag. The whole thing caught on fire. It started to spread and everyone was panicking, until the principal came in with the fire extinguisher and put the fire out. He asked who was responsible and she said it was my fault. I didn’t realize that while everyone was panicking, she planted her pack of cigarettes on me. I tried to explain what really happened, but no one believed me. My dad came and got me and that was that. He got transferred to Sunnydale and that’s why we moved. This was also the only school that would take me.”

Spike nodded as well once she finished. “I’m sorry about all that, pet. What happened with your mum? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Buffy took a deep breath before answering him. “She was sick. I didn’t know what was wrong at first, until my dad told me it was a tumor. She had surgery, but there were still complications. I remember coming home from school and finding her dead on the couch. They said it was sudden and that she probably didn’t feel any pain. I just wish I could have gotten there a little sooner. I keep thinking that I could have saved her.”

Spike really felt for her and placed his arm around her shoulders. That’s too much for anyone to deal with. “You can’t blame yourself for what happened.”

“Yeah, but I know my dad does. He won’t say anything, but I know he partly blames me for what happened. Maybe because I was with her at the time. After that, everything just fell apart. Not that everything was really great before, but my dad was hardly around anymore. He was always at work, I would never see him. He hardly ever talked to me and when he did, he never made eye contact. He won’t even look at me anymore. I think it’s too painful, and I probably remind him of her.”

Spike gave her a kiss on the forehead; it felt so natural to him. “How long ago did this happen?”

She shrugged. “It was only about six months ago. I just fell apart after I lost my mom and my dad would hardly even notice. He just figured I had problems like any teenager, but he didn’t care to talk to me about them.” Buffy took another deep breath and couldn’t believe she was about to tell him the rest of her story, but she needed to get it out. “I started to feel numb, so I would cut myself sometimes just to feel something. It was never enough, though. The pain was always there, it didn’t seem like it would ever go away. One night, I came home to find another woman in our house. I was so angry that my father could be with someone else already and we got into a fight. He said I was just a child and that I didn’t understand anything. That maybe things would have been better if I was never born,” she explained, tears falling down her face. “I know he was drunk and he probably doesn’t even remember any of that, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted it all to end. So, I found a bottle of sleeping pills in the bathroom and I took them. I went into my room and passed out, everything after that was a blur. I remember waking up in the hospital and them telling me that my dad found me and brought me in. When I was released, he was so angry with me. I’ve never seen him so angry. It was then that he decided I needed some help, so he took me to a clinic. It was more like a mental institution. I hated it the moment I set foot in there. Him sending me there was like saying that I was crazy and I didn’t believe I was. I spent weeks in that place and they let me go after they saw that I was making progress. I did get a little better after that, but when I got back to school, I lost all of my friends. I was actually in the popular group, if you can believe it. I was a cheerleader and dated the captain of the football team, but I didn’t have any of that anymore. They all knew about what happened to me and everyone started treating me like a freak. I tried to ignore it and get back to the way things used to be. Of course, things would never be that way again. Then the whole fire in the gym thing happened. You pretty much know the rest after that.” Buffy looked up at him when she finished and couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

He finally spoke after what seemed like forever. “Wow, that’s some story. I’m sorry, I had no idea everything was so bad.”

Buffy wiped her eyes. “Well, the one good thing about moving here is that I get to start over. It seems I’m still screwing up, though. I guess some things will never change.”

Spike grasped her hand in his and gave it a squeeze. “Things will get better, Buffy. Just know that you’re not alone anymore. I’ll be here whenever you need me.”

She graced him with a small smile and really believed that he would be.

Spike then glanced over at his desk and grabbed the same picture that Buffy was looking at before. He sighed and ran his fingers over it.

Buffy wondered if he would open up to her now. She got her answer when he looked back up at her.

“I lost my mum when I was fourteen. There was a car accident. My dad was driving and she was in the passenger seat. I was at a friend’s house at the time. I don’t really know what happened, only that a truck ran a red light and hit my dad’s car on my mum’s side. She died instantly and he was left unconscious. I know he blames himself for the accident. I know he wonders why he was the one that survived and not her. I’m just so grateful that I didn’t lose both of them.”

Buffy squeezed his hand this time, giving him some of the comfort that he gave to her.

Spike traced his finger over his mother’s face, then over the face of the young boy that he used to be. “William died then and I became Spike. I just wanted to change everything. My father hated my new self. Sometimes I even hate it. I’ve become a person that I don’t even like much. You’ve witnessed how I can be. I was so different as William. I was a geek to put it simply. I wrote poetry and couldn’t talk to a girl to save my life.” He laughed a little at the memory, then frowned and placed the picture back on his desk. “I guess not everything changed. I still write poetry sometimes, but you didn’t hear that from me.”

Buffy shook her head. “Right, didn’t hear a thing,” she replied with a smile.

He smiled in return, promising himself that he would do whatever he could to get her to smile more.

Chapter 8

A few more weeks went by and Buffy and Spike had been getting closer as friends.

Spike didn’t know how much longer he could just be her friend, though. He had feelings for her that he never felt with anyone before. Not even Drusilla, and that thought confused him. He can relate to Buffy, and Drusilla was becoming harder to handle. He was finally starting to believe those rumors about her not being all there. Spike was walking the halls with his friends and wasn’t really paying attention to what they were saying, when he saw Buffy by her locker.

She put her books in, then turned to catch him staring at her.

They locked eyes and were caught in each other’s gaze.

Buffy turned away first, with a smile on her face.

He smiled as well and tried to focus on his friends. Spike then knew what he had to do. He just didn’t think it would go very well.


* * * * *


Buffy was listening to her headphones and dancing around her room later that day. She was in her own world and didn’t even notice when Spike walked in, until he tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around, startled to see him there with a smile on his face. She took her headphones off.

“Hey, how long have you been there?”

He shrugged. “Long enough, I seem to be missing a CD. You wouldn’t happen to know where it is, would you?”

Buffy looked caught as she took the CD that she was listening to out of her player and put it back in the case. “Sorry, I was gonna give it back.”

Spike took the proffered CD from her. “That’s fine, just let me know next time.”

Buffy nodded, not knowing what else to say.

It was then that Spike noticed she was wearing very tight shorts with a tiny, tank top that showed her midriff. Her hair was up in a messy pony tail and she was sweating. He couldn’t remember ever seeing anything so beautiful. He only smiled at her as he looked at his CD. “This is another reason why I like you, Summers. You have bloody good taste in music.”

Buffy felt a little flattered by that. “You like me?” she asked, a little unsure.

Spike just wanted to show her how much, but all he did was nod. “I thought that was pretty obvious.”

Buffy shrugged and finally noticed the cut above his eye. “Spike, what happened?” she wondered, touching the wound gently.

Spike shut his eyes at the feel of her hand. He opened them again to see the concerned expression on her face. “It’s nothing; let’s just say that Drusilla can’t handle rejection well. I broke up with her.”

Buffy was stunned and dropped her hand. “Why would you do that?”

“I realized that I don’t love her as much as I used to. She’s changed and she seems even crazier than usual,” he explained, pointing to his eye.

“I’m sorry about that.”

He waved his hand in the air. “Don’t worry about it. It’s better this way.”

Buffy agreed. “Yeah, I’m sure you’ll find someone else.”

Spike nodded. “Right, I guess I’ll leave you alone now.” He walked to the door, pausing before leaving the room to look at her one more time. Spike then couldn’t take it anymore. “Sod it,” he said, moving back over to her and grabbing her around the waist. He pulled her closer to him and planted a hard kiss on her mouth.

Buffy was confused at first, but didn’t hesitate to kiss him back.

Spike picked her up, causing her to wrap her legs around him. He broke away long enough to throw her on the bed, then got on top of her and captured her lips again with his. He slipped his hand under her shirt to feel that she wasn’t wearing a bra.

Buffy’s hands moved to the bottom of his shirt, but before she could lift it up, a voice stopped them.

“What is going on in here?”

They both instantly pulled away to see Giles standing in the doorway.

Buffy was out of breath and seemed embarrassed.

Spike only smirked. “Come on, Dad. I’m sure even a man of your age can figure it out. It’s called shagging. Well, almost shagging if you didn’t interrupt us.”

Giles glared at his son. “Go to your room, William. We’ll talk about this later.”

Spike rolled his eyes and headed out of the room.

Giles smacked him on the head when he walked by.

“Ow, bloody hell!” Spike claimed, rubbing his head.

Giles turned to Buffy once he was gone. “You should get cleaned up. Dinner will be ready shortly.”

Buffy nodded and watched Giles leave the room. She let out a sigh and lay back on the bed. That could have gone better.

Chapter 9

They were all quiet at dinner later that night, neither knowing how to start a conversation.

Giles looked at the two teenagers to see that they were both staring down at their food. He had enough of the silent treatment and slammed his fork down in his plate, which caused them both to glance up at him. “What is going on with you two?” They still wouldn’t say anything and Giles grew irritated, then turned to Buffy. “You should eat something, Buffy.”

She shrugged. “I’m not really that hungry.”

Giles let out a sigh. “I will have to tell your father about this.”

Buffy shrugged again and really couldn’t seem to care. “Yeah, you should probably do that. We wouldn’t want him to get worried and come back early. Right, I forgot. He would actually have to care for that,” she claimed, jumping out of her seat and running upstairs.

Giles took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes.

Spike got up and went after her, without saying anything to his father. He opened her door to find Buffy sitting on the bed, with her stuffed pig clutched to her chest. He sat on the bed next to her.

They were both sitting in silence, until she decided to break the ice.

“I didn’t mean to snap at Giles. I hope he’s not mad at me.”

Spike shook his head. “He’s not, probably just concerned. He’s handled me for eighteen years; anything would be a picnic after that.”

Buffy smiled at his attempt to make her feel better, then wondered about something. “Why weren’t you embarrassed at all when he walked in on us?”

“That’s not the first time it’s happened. I can’t tell you how many times he’s caught me and Dru in my room.” He stopped when he saw the expression on her face. “That’s not really important, though.”

Buffy sighed and thought about what else she wanted to ask. “Is that all you want?”

He raised his eyebrows in confusion.

She decided to clarify for him. “Are you only after sex? I mean, you told your dad that we were about to do that if he didn’t interrupt. I actually wasn’t really planning on going that far.”

Spike shook his head again. “I didn’t mean it, just said that to annoy Rupert. I only would have gone as far as you would let me. I actually care about more than just sex.”

Buffy sighed in relief now.

“Are you a virgin?” he asked suddenly.

Buffy rolled her eyes at the question. “Hardly, haven’t been since I was thirteen.”

Spike was stunned. “I lost my virginity at fifteen. Not bloody fair.”

She smiled. “Guess I have you beat there. It's not like it's a competition, anyway.”

Spike nodded and decided to change the subject. “So, why did you look scared if you’re not a virgin?”

Buffy really hoped he wouldn't think any less of her when she told him the rest of her story. “Those guys were never any good. They never cared about me and I hardly knew them half the time. I would basically punish myself by finding jerks to sleep with that would treat me horribly. I guess I thought that I deserved it at the time.”

Spike was even more concerned for her. “Why would you deserve it?”

Buffy gazed at him, tears forming in her eyes. She seemed to cry a lot around him. “My parents would fight a lot and I was usually the cause of most of their arguments. I would always blame myself and figured I deserved to be punished, but that wasn’t what made me do it. My parents were out one night and I was alone in my room with this guy. We were only studying and he suddenly kissed me. It was hardly anything, but my dad came home early and found us like that. He got so mad at me and he said some things, I could tell he was drunk again. He told me that at the rate I was going, I would grow up to be a whore. I figured if my own father said that, then it must be true. I started to sleep with these guys and basically felt like a whore, just like he said. My first time was with a friend at least, so it wasn’t so bad. Things got worse after that, though. My parents didn’t know anything about what I was doing. My mom would have been so disappointed in me. I hated myself and I wanted to stop, but it was hard.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “I...I was raped one night when I was walking home. I was so scared. I didn’t want it then and I tried to push him away, but he was too strong. I never told anyone about that. I had enough after that. I decided that I wouldn’t sleep with anyone else, unless he was different. I don’t want to go through that again,” she finished, more tears falling down her face.

Spike put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. “Things will be different from now on,” he whispered, placing a soft kiss on her lips that only lasted a few seconds. He pulled away and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I promise, Buffy. When that happens with us, it will be different. I won’t pressure you to do anything you don’t want to, all right?”

Buffy nodded and rested her head against his shoulder. She really believed that everything would be different this time.

Chapter 10

Another week went by and everyone at school was still surprised that Spike dumped Drusilla for the weird new girl.

Spike didn’t care, though. For once, he didn’t care about his reputation. He only cared about Buffy.

Buffy still hung out with the friends that she met on her first day. She didn’t care about joining the popular crowd, figuring that she wasn’t welcome anyway.

Spike even started to ditch some of them to hang out with Buffy and her friends. He also started to hang out with Faith more and realized how much he missed being around her. He was sitting with Buffy and the others at lunch, actually enjoying their company.

They were starting to be comfortable around him as well.

Willow was even able to talk to him now.

Buffy glanced down at her watch. “I have to go. I have a make-up exam,” she said, gathering up her things.

Spike looked away from her and stared at Cordelia, who was sitting in front of him. He saw her turn in his direction, then licked his lips.

Her eyes widened. “Buffy, would you tell your boyfriend to stop creeping me out? He’s looking at me like he wants to suck my blood or something.”

Spike laughed and got a smack in the head from Buffy.

“Quit it, I’ll see you later.” She gave him a peck on the lips and headed out of the cafeteria.

Spike watched her go and focused back on the brunette in front of him.

Xander caught the look this time. “Dude, could you stop checking out my girlfriend? I know she’s hot, but you have your own eye candy.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Please, Harris. I’m not after your girl, just love to make her uncomfortable,” he said with a smirk.

Cordelia rolled her eyes this time. “We’re going now, Xander,” she said and stood up, pulling Xander with her.

He managed a small wave to Willow before Cordelia yanked him away.

Spike shook his head. “What’s the whelp doing with a bitch like her? I know what she used to be like, doesn’t seem his type.”

Willow shrugged. “It was a shock to all of us, but Cordy really has changed. She used to be a lot worse. I think she really cares for Xander.”

Spike wasn’t very convinced, but didn’t say anything else about it.


* * * * *


Buffy walked out of her last class and headed to her locker. When she got there, she felt someone grab her from behind and slam her into the lockers. She turned around to see who her attacker was and stared at the angry face of Drusilla.

“God, what the hell is your problem?”

Drusilla glared at her. “You are my problem, Betty. The stars have told me that you took my Spike away from me. You have made Miss Edith very unhappy.”

Buffy shoved the dark haired girl away from her. “Is that supposed to make any sense? I think you belong in an institution, not a high school.”

Drusilla grinned wickedly. “It takes one to know one.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“The stars tell me that you have been a very naughty girl. Getting sent to the prison for the insane. Shame on you,” Drusilla commented, making a motion with her fingers.

Buffy suddenly had a fearful look on her face as she realized what the crazy girl was talking about. “How did you know about that?”

Drusilla pointed to her head. “It’s all up here, deary. I suppose you told my Spike your little story. He’s only with you because he feels sorry for you.”

Buffy shook her head. “That’s not true. You don’t know anything.”

Drusilla laughed manically.

The sound alone made Buffy cringe.

“He will always love me. I’m his dark princess and no one can replace me. He’ll come back when he’s done with you. He won’t choose the sunlight,” with that said, she walked away.

Buffy stared after her, wondering if there was any truth to her words. She shook those thoughts away and had to keep telling herself that the girl was crazy. She got what she needed from her locker, then left the school. She really hoped that what Drusilla said about Spike wasn’t true, but a part of her felt worried. Buffy realized that she could lose him, and that thought scared her more than anything else. She didn’t think she could handle anymore heartache. She stood outside the school and waited for Spike to show up as she reached into her pocket for something to calm her. Buffy knew what she had to do. She couldn't risk getting hurt again. She just prayed that she wouldn’t end up regretting it.

Chapter 11

Buffy was smoking a cigarette outside of school; it always made her feel better.

Spike headed over to her and raised his eyebrows. “Since when do you smoke?”

She threw the cigarette to the ground and stepped on it. “Since I realized that poisoning my lungs is a good way to kill myself.”

Spike frowned. “That’s not funny.”

Buffy glared at him. “It wasn’t supposed to be. What? You’re the only one that’s allowed to smoke?”

Spike shook his head. “Are you okay?” he wondered with concern.

She laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Yeah, I’m great. Let’s just get out of here, all right?” she said, walking away from him and over to his car.

Spike sighed and followed after her.

They both got into his car and drove home in silence.


* * * * *


When they finally made it home, Buffy got out of the car and slammed the door behind her. She walked to the front door of the house.

Spike caught up with her and grabbed her arm to stop her. “What’s wrong, love?”

Buffy pulled her arm out of his grasp. “Fine, you wanna know? I think this thing with us is stupid. We should just end it before things go any further.”

Spike didn’t like the sound of that. “You want to break up?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “We’re not even really dating. All we seem to do is make out and that may be enough for you, but I’m getting sick of it. I’m tired of you pretending that you care about me when I know that you don’t. You don’t think I notice you checking out other girls? I’m sure you’re just waiting for the perfect time to get rid of me, so you can go back to your precious Drusilla. I hear a lot of stories about you two. How you were so madly in love, I refuse to believe that you would dump her for me. This is probably all a joke to you. I don’t like to get close to people, especially guys. That never ends well, and I don’t even know why I decided to let you in. You’re probably just like all the others, so I’m ending it. I’m sure it’s no great loss to you,” she said, wiping angrily at her wet eyes. Buffy then entered the house, without even waiting for him to respond.

Spike didn’t believe a word she said and went in after her. He stopped her again before she went upstairs. “I know you don’t mean that, Buffy. I will never give up on you. You have to realize how much I care about you. This isn’t a joke. I’ve never felt this way before.”

Buffy shook her head, not even bothering to hide the tears anymore. “No, you don’t mean that. No one falls for me. I’m nothing now; I’m just a screw up. You should just go back to ignoring me. I’m sure things were easier for you then.”

“Nothing was easier for me then. Nothing seemed to matter, until you came into my life.”

Buffy closed her eyes and touched her head, starting to feel dizzy. She opened her eyes after a few seconds to look at Spike.

Spike stared at her with worry, their conversation now forgotten. “Are you feeling all right?”

Buffy shook her head again, which caused it to hurt. “I feel tired,” she commented softly, then fell down.

He caught her before she hit the floor. Spike felt her head and noticed that she felt fine, figuring that she just passed out. He picked her up gently and carried her up to her room, placing her down on the bed once inside. Spike gave her a kiss on the forehead, then made his way back downstairs.


* * * * *


Spike entered the kitchen just as Giles walked in the back door.

The older man stopped when he saw the worried expression on his son’s face.

Spike then explained everything that happened with Buffy.

Giles cleaned his glasses, putting them back on after a moment. “You say she fainted?”

Spike nodded. “Yeah, I think everything has just been too much for her. Do you think she’ll be okay?”

Giles noticed how much he seemed like a young boy when he asked that. He would love to tell his son that everything would be okay, but he wasn’t so sure himself. “I wish I knew. She’s been through a lot and I would imagine that being abandoned by her father was the last thing she could handle. That little girl loves her father. I know from what Joyce would tell me. She would tell me how close they were when Buffy was younger, and how she idolized him. Things fell apart after she died, which would be understandable, but I imagine things weren’t so great even before that. With everything that has happened between Buffy and her father, I know that she still loves him very deeply. She’s still very much hurting because of his departure, even though she tends to hide it. We just have to be there for her anyway we can.”

Spike agreed and thought about what his father said. “I’m trying to be there for her. She doesn’t think I really care about her.”

“Do you care about her?”

Spike looked at him like that was a stupid question. “Of course I care about her, but it’s so much more than that.”

Giles had a feeling that he knew what his son was talking about, but wanted to hear him say it. “What do you mean?”

Spike didn’t hesitate with his answer. “I think I’m in love with her,” he stated, seeming to just come to that realization.

Giles had a small smile on his face.

Spike took a deep breath. “I’m going to make her something to eat for when she wakes up,” he said, moving to the stove to heat up some soup for Buffy.

Giles watched him in wonder, hoping that everything would work out for his son and the girl he was considering to be like a daughter.

Chapter 12

Spike entered Buffy’s room to see that she was awake. He put the soup down next to her bed and sat beside her.

“How do you feel?” he asked with concern.

She took in a deep breath before answering him. “I feel a little lightheaded, but nothing I can’t handle.”

Spike nodded. “I made you some soup, you should eat something.”

Buffy shook her head. “I’m not really hungry.”

Spike let out a sigh, then realization came to him. “When was the last time you ate anything?”

Buffy shrugged and looked away from his gaze. “I don’t know.”

Spike now understood and he wasn’t happy. “Bloody hell, I should have noticed,” he said, more to himself than her. “Have you been trying to starve yourself?”

Buffy shook her head again as she glanced back at him. “I just haven’t been hungry lately.”

Spike didn’t believe that. “You’re too thin, and you’re looking more pale than usual. When are you going to stop punishing yourself?”

She turned away from him again. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Spike cupped her cheek and brought her gaze back on him. “You’re still finding ways to punish yourself for everything that’s happened, aren’t you? It’s not your fault that your father left, Buffy. He was a wanker for leaving you and if he was any real father, he would have stuck by you no matter what.”

Buffy felt tears in her eyes at what he was saying.

“What’s really going on?” he wondered.

“I just want him to love me again like he used to. I wanted him to at least acknowledge my existence, and to show that he cares about me. I guess I thought that if he knew how bad things were going for me, he might decide to come back,” she explained.

“So, you acting like this was just a way for him to notice you?”

Buffy nodded. “I figured that Giles would call him and tell him about the problems I’m having. I was hoping he would come back and take me home. I guess it was stupid to think that.”

Spike felt saddened at the thought that she wanted to leave, but tried not to show it.

“I’m sorry for what I said to you. I was scared and after Drusilla talked to me; I figured that you might decide to go back to her. I guess I wanted to end things with you before you could do it, figured then it wouldn’t hurt so much.”

Spike grew angry when he realized Drusilla had something to do with what Buffy said. He looked into her eyes and caressed her cheek. “Don’t listen to anything she says, Buffy. I’m never going back to her. I’ve already fallen in love with you, there’s no going back after that,” he told her with a warm smile.

Buffy was surprised and felt more tears in her eyes. “Do you mean that?” she asked a little unsure.

Spike nodded and moved closer to her, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. He pulled away after a moment. “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it. I love you, Buffy.”

She graced him with a smile this time.

Spike was relieved for that. It didn’t even matter if she said it back or not. He could wait until she was ready. He then grabbed the bowl of soup and held it out to her. “I want you to get some food in you, okay?”

Buffy took the bowl from him and started to eat the soup slowly.

Spike sat with her for a little while longer, then left her room to go back downstairs to tell his father that everything was all right. He just hoped everything would stay that way.

Chapter 13

Buffy walked downstairs and into the kitchen, where she found Giles. She gave the older man a smile.

“Hey, Giles. Have you seen Spike?”

He glanced up at her and nodded. “Yes, he’s running a few errands for me. Take a seat, Buffy. I want to talk to you.”

Buffy nodded as well and sat down, dreading what he would tell her.

“I don’t know everything that has been going on in your life, Buffy. I only know what I have seen and I’m deeply worried about you,” he claimed.

“I’m really sorry, Giles. I didn’t mean to cause so much trouble. I’ve talked to Spike and I’m really gonna try to do better. I don’t want to worry anyone.”

Giles nodded in acceptance and gave her a small smile. “Your mother was a very dear friend of mine. I actually met you once before. You were so young then, I don’t suppose you would remember. She would sometimes talk to me about everything, including the problems that she would have with your father. I do know that your mother was very proud of you.”

Buffy tried not to cry at what he said. “There was nothing for her to be proud about.”

Giles shook his head. “I don’t believe that. I have something for you,” he said, reaching into his pocket and taking out a silver necklace.

Buffy got a better look at it and noticed that it was a locket; it also looked really familiar to her.

“Your mother gave this to me after she found out that she was ill. She made me promise to give it to you if anything was to happen to her, and I’m not one to break promises.” He handed her the locket.

Buffy took it from him, not able to stop the tears from forming in her eyes when she remembered that Joyce used to always wear that locket. She opened it up and found a picture of her mother and a miniature Buffy. It was one of her favorites. She put the locket on and looked at Giles, with teary eyes. “Thank you,” she commented quietly.

Giles had more that he wanted to say. “I should be thanking you.”

Buffy wasn’t sure why he would want to thank her, but he decided to clarify for her.

“I wanted to thank you for what you’ve done for my son. I don’t believe I have ever seen William this happy since his mother passed away. I know most of that is because of you.”

Buffy blushed. “I didn’t really do anything.”

Giles shook his head. “You have done more than you think. I only know that his attitude has been getting better, and his grades have improved. I just wanted you to know that we are both grateful that you’re here.”

Buffy felt touched and for the first time in her life, she actually felt like she really was wanted. “I’m grateful to be here, too.”

Giles just gave her another smile.

Spike then entered the house. He placed the bags down that he was carrying and turned to both of them. “Did I miss anything good?”

Buffy shook her head. “No, we were just talking.”

Spike nodded and accepted her answer as he started to put stuff away.

Giles left them alone a few minutes later.

Spike went over to Buffy once he was finished. “How are you?”

Buffy smiled. “I’m good; I think I’m finally starting to believe that.”

Spike smiled as well, pressing a kiss to her lips. “Glad to hear it, love. Why don’t we go out this weekend? Have ourselves a proper date?”

Buffy felt excited at that idea. “Sounds like a plan. What did you have in mind?”

Spike shook his head. “That would be a surprise. Just be ready on Saturday night and leave everything to me.”

“Should I be worried?”

Spike took her hand in his and gave it a kiss, gazing into her eyes. “Just trust me to take care of you, Buffy. Can you do that?”

Buffy didn’t hesitate with her answer. “Yeah, I trust you.”

Spike smiled again and gave her another kiss. “You won’t regret it.”

She smiled in return. “I know.” For the first time, Buffy knew that she would have no regrets. She would trust this man with her life.

Chapter 14

“All right, keep your eyes closed,” Spike whispered in Buffy’s ear, which sent shivers down her spine.

“Spike, you have your hand over my eyes,” she replied.

“Just go with me here, love.”

Buffy smiled. “Okay, my eyes are still closed.”

Spike smiled as well and led Buffy over to a special place on the beach, where the moon seemed to shine the most. “We’re here; you can open your eyes now.” He took his hand away.

Buffy looked to see a beautiful picnic set up for them on the beach. She used to love the ocean as a child, and it was even more beautiful at night. She turned to Spike. “This is perfect, thank you.”

Spike nodded and grabbed her hand, pulling her down on the blanket that he set there.

They spent the next hour eating and enjoying each other’s company.

“I don’t think I can eat anything else,” Buffy said as she held her stomach.

Spike smiled fondly at her. “Not even for dessert?”

She raised her eyebrows. “What’s for dessert?”

Spike moved closer to her and planted a kiss on her mouth.

Buffy closed her eyes and melted into his kiss, then grasped the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head, breaking contact to get the shirt off and kissing him again. When she moved to his pants, Spike pulled away, breathing heavily.

“Love, are you sure about this?”

Buffy gazed into his eyes and nodded. “I want you, Spike. I want you to make love to me.”

Spike didn’t have to be told twice as he kissed her again. He pulled her shirt off and lay her down on the blanket as he removed the rest of her clothes, then discarded his pants and positioned himself on top of her. He looked into her eyes and could see the love she felt for him. Spike kissed her lips again as he slowly entered her.

Buffy couldn’t believe how perfect he felt inside her as he started to move. She closed her eyes and squeezed him, with all the strength that she had.

Spike’s eyes rolled back, knowing he wouldn’t last if she kept doing that.

Buffy opened her eyes to look up at him after a few seconds. “I love you,” she whispered.

Spike had a look of awe on his face since that was the first time she said it. He lowered his head, licking and nibbling her smooth neck.

She moaned underneath him.

Spike started to speed up his thrusts. “God, Buffy.” He nuzzled her neck, leaving soft kisses there.

Buffy was about to let out a scream, when he kissed her again and slipped his tongue into her mouth.

They were both soon brought to release as they cried out in pleasure, hoping that no one was around to witness their lovemaking.

Spike was breathing hard as he pulled out of her and moved to her side.

Buffy rested her head against his chest and listened to his fast heartbeat.

He looked at her to see the satisfied expression on her face. “You’re amazing.”

She smiled shyly. “You’re pretty amazing yourself.”

Spike kissed her forehead and lay back down, when a thought suddenly occurred to him. “Bloody hell, we forgot about protection. I actually wasn’t expecting this to happen tonight.”

Buffy ran her fingers over his chest. “It’s okay, I’m on the pill.”

Spike sighed in relief and held her closer as they both stared up at the stars.

“It’s so beautiful here. You don’t see them like this in LA.”

Spike agreed. “No, I don’t suppose you would.”

Buffy took a deep breath. “My grandfather lives on a farm in Georgia. I remember always going there when I was little. I used to love it. I would spend forever just riding the horses. That’s the only time I ever felt free. I would spend hours at night looking up at the stars. They were so beautiful. I saw a shooting star once. I figured there was no point in making a wish. I didn’t think it would ever come true,” she said, then looked at Spike. “For the first time, I’m actually glad I moved here.”

Spike smiled and placed another kiss on her lips. “So am I, pet. I was lost before you came into my life.”

“I know the feeling.” She rested her head back on his chest and held him tighter.


* * * * *


They walked into the house later that night and were greeted by Giles, who was still awake.

“How was your evening?”

Buffy and Spike both exchanged looks before addressing the older man.

“It was good,” she said.

Spike nodded in agreement. “Yeah, we’ll just be heading up to bed now. Getting a bit knackered,” he responded, faking a yawn.

They didn’t wait for Giles to say anything else as they both went upstairs and into Spike’s room.

He closed the door once they were inside, grabbing her and attacking her lips in a loving caress.

They kissed with all the passion they had for each other, pulling away when breathing became an issue.

Spike touched his forehead to hers. “Stay with me tonight?”

“What about Giles?”

Spike moved to her ear. “We can be very quiet,” he whispered.

Buffy smiled. “Maybe you can, but I can’t make any promises.”

Spike couldn’t argue with her there, but led her over to his bed.

They both undressed and lay under the covers.

Spike pulled Buffy closer to him and kissed her forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Spike would never get tired of that and gave her another kiss on the lips.

Buffy rested her head on his chest.

He wrapped his arms around her and held her tighter as they both soon drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

Chapter 15

Buffy and Spike were at school a week later, making out in front of his locker.

She pulled away to take in a breath. “Do you really think we should be doing this here?”

Spike grinned. “I’ve had a long, hard day,” he said huskily, grabbing her hand and placing it on his crotch. “You see what I mean.”

Buffy gave him a smile and a squeeze, which caused him to let out a moan.

“Bloody hell, Buffy. Warn a bloke before you do that.”

Buffy kept the smile on her face as she started to kiss him again.

He moaned into her mouth.

“God, do you two have to be so horny? Get a room or something.”

Spike turned around to glare at Cordelia for interrupting them. “Are you jealous, princess? I know you have a thing for me, but I just don’t think of you that way.”

Cordelia rolled her eyes. “You wish, Spike. I could care less about your horny self. Just thought I should mention that your ex is looking for you, and she’s not happy.”

“When is she ever? Thanks for the heads up, gorgeous,” he told her with a wink.

She rolled her eyes again, then walked away.

Buffy decided to speak up about what had been bothering her lately, hoping she wouldn’t regret it. “Okay, what is with you two? Did you guys date or something?”

Spike laughed at that. “I can’t stand the bloody chit. Why would I want to date her?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. You argue way too much, like you have a past or something.”

Spike sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, deciding that it would be best to be honest with her. “This isn’t something I like talking about, but I feel that you should know. We never dated, but we did sleep together.”

Buffy raised her eyebrows. “You and Cordy slept together? When did this happen?”

“It was years ago, and it only happened that one time. I guess there’s no easy way to say this, but Cordelia was actually my first.”

Buffy didn’t know what to think about that. “Wow, you actually lost your virginity to her? What happened after that?”

Spike was relieved that she didn’t seem to be upset. “We both agreed that it felt weird and decided it wouldn’t happen again. We were at a party and may have had a little too much to drink. She was depressed about being dumped by her boyfriend, and I guess we found comfort in each other. It didn’t mean anything, and we never spoke of it again. Harris doesn’t even know about it. I just like to tease her sometimes, but that’s all it is. Are we okay?”

Buffy could see the worried look on his face and gave him a smile. “We’re fine, Spike. I’m not gonna be mad about something that happened years ago. Did you not hear about my past? I’m just glad you decided to tell me. No secrets, okay?”

Spike nodded and kissed her on the lips.

They were again interrupted after a few seconds.

“Well, isn’t this sweet?”

Spike pulled away to see Drusilla standing there this time. “Bollocks, can’t a man snog his girl in peace? What do you want, Dru?”

She pouted. “That’s not very nice. You’ve been a bad dog. Choosing the sunshine over your dark princess, shame on you.”

Buffy rolled her eyes and again couldn’t understand how Spike put up with her crazy self for years.

Spike only smiled as he suddenly licked Buffy’s neck, then gazed back at Drusilla. “I don’t know, Dru. The sunshine tastes pretty good.”

Drusilla glared at him. “This isn’t over, Spike. You will come back to me,” she spat, marching away from them.

Spike shook his head and glanced at Buffy. “Tell me again why I didn’t break up with her sooner?”

She shrugged. “Hell if I know. We’ll just call it a moment of weakness.”

Spike agreed and put his arm around her. “That must be it.”


* * * * *


They were sitting in the cafeteria at lunch later that day, again making out. Their friends were pretty much used to seeing them do that by now, but that didn’t mean they weren’t still uncomfortable by the public display of affection.

Willow was sitting next to Oz.

Xander was just staring at the two lovebirds, not knowing what to say.

“Do they ever come up for air?” Oz wondered, finally breaking the silence.

“I don’t know. This is the longest I think I have ever seen two people make out,” Willow replied.

“Damn, B. You’re going to town.”

They finally pulled away from each other at the arrival of Faith.

Buffy gave an embarrassed smile when she noticed their audience. “Sorry, guess we got carried away there.”

Faith shrugged and sat down next to Xander. “Hey, it’s cool. I just don’t know how you can kiss him without gagging,” she said with a grin.

Spike glared at her. “Don’t knock it till you try it, sweetheart,” he remarked with a wink.

Faith rolled her eyes. “Please, bleach boy. You’re really not my type.”

“Suit yourself,” he responded, earning a smack on the head by Buffy.

“Can you not hit on other girls in front of me, please? In fact, don’t hit on any other girls at all.”

Spike held up his hands in surrender. “Sorry, won’t be making that mistake again. You know you’re the only one I want.”

“You better say that, mister,” Buffy commented as she kissed him again and continued their make out session.

The others let out a groan.

“There they go again,” Xander said.

Faith had to smile. “Anyone have a watch, so we can time them? I think they have a world record.”

Xander took his watch off and handed it to Faith. “You can keep it,” he told her, then stood up after she took it from him. “I’m gonna go look for Cordy. Catch you guys later.”

Faith watched him walk away and turned back to Buffy and Spike, who were still going at it. She then noticed that Oz and Willow were now making out as well, raising her eyebrows at both of the couples. “Unbelievable,” she said to herself, a frown now forming on her face. Faith sometimes wished she could be that open, but knew it would be harder for her. She really hated being in a secret relationship, then took on a determined expression. It wouldn’t be a secret for much longer. Not if she had anything to say about it.


* * * * *


“So, I hear you slept with Spike.”

Cordelia was stunned at what Buffy said, then grew angry. “Bastard, I can’t believe he told you about that.”

Buffy shrugged. “I kinda bugged him about it. I could tell that something happened. It’s not a big deal.”

Cordy raised her eyebrows. “Not a big deal? It’s Spike, for crying out loud. He’s so repulsive; I don’t want anyone to know about that. You haven’t said anything to Xander, have you?”

Buffy noticed the fear on the other girl’s face and shook her head. “Of course I didn’t, it’s not my place to say anything. I just wanted to tell you that I know. I swear, I won’t tell anyone.”

Cordelia sighed in relief. “Thanks, that’s the last thing I need.”

Buffy nodded in understanding. “Don’t mention it.”

Cordelia got what she needed from her locker and after giving Buffy a smile, walked out of the school.

“So, Spike and Cordy? Have to admit I never would have guessed.”

Buffy turned to see Faith standing there.

“I think I just lost all respect for him.”

Buffy let out a sigh. “She’s not so bad. Don’t say anything, they’re weird about that.”

Faith nodded. “I won’t say anything; I have my own problems to deal with.”

Buffy was confused at the expression she saw on the brunette’s face and wondered what problems she could be talking about. She was about to say something else, when Tara suddenly walked by them and Buffy noticed Faith giving the other girl a look.

Tara turned away from them.

“I’ll talk to you later,” Faith claimed, following after Tara.

Buffy was very interested about that and took off after Faith.


* * * * *


Faith caught up to Tara outside and they seemed to be having a heated conversation.

Buffy couldn’t tell what they were saying, but she noticed that Tara had tears in her eyes.

Faith then moved closer and kissed Tara on the lips, which the other girl returned.

Buffy was surprised and had no idea about that.

They pulled away from each other after a few seconds.

Faith turned to see Buffy there. “Well, I guess the secret’s out.”

Buffy took a moment before she spoke. “Sorry, I was curious. So, you two are together?”

Faith nodded and glanced at Tara, who was staring at the ground. “Yeah, for a few months now.” She tilted her girlfriend’s head up, so she wasn’t staring at the ground anymore. “Hey, no need to be shy. We can trust her.”

Tara nodded and gazed at Buffy.

“No one knows about us,” Faith explained. “They probably wouldn’t understand. I already get treated like a freak as it is, and I won’t have Tara go through that. No matter how much we love each other,” she said, wrapping her arms around Tara.

Buffy could tell how much they really cared about each other. She never saw that side of Faith before. “You guys shouldn’t have to hide your relationship.”

Faith agreed. “We don’t plan on it for long. It’s not fair to her. She wants to tell people, I was the one that decided against it. I realize that I don’t care anymore. I don’t care what anyone thinks.”

Buffy smiled. “That’s good; you shouldn’t care what anyone thinks. I gave up on caring a long time ago.” She focused on the quiet girl. “Have you told Xander about this?”

Tara shook her head. “He...He doesn’t know. I was too scared to tell him.”

“Xander’s your brother; he’ll love you no matter what.”

Tara gave her a small smile. “I know he will. I’m not afraid to tell him anymore.”

Faith smiled as well. “Yeah, at least I know my family could care less. Dawny already knows and she’s cool with it, I tell that kid everything. She practically worships me, so it’s all good.”

Buffy smiled again and wished she had a little sister to share things with.

“Thanks for being so cool about this, Buffy. I know that it would be easier to tell our friends now and if they can’t accept it, then they’re not good friends to begin with,” Faith stated. “I’m really glad that you’re with Spike. I think you’ve been really good for him, and I can’t tell you how much I’m grateful he’s not with that psycho anymore.”

Buffy laughed. “Tell me about it. What the hell did he ever see in her?”

Faith shrugged. “Probably a nice rack.”

Buffy stared down at her chest, which she never thought was that big. “Yeah, well, I can’t really compare to that.”

Faith looked Buffy up and down, letting a grin form on her face. “I don’t know, B. It’s pretty nice from where I’m standing.”

Buffy blushed at the comment.

Tara playfully smacked her on the arm.

Faith held up her hands in surrender, much like Spike did before. “I’m just saying. You know I only wanna look at you, baby,” she amended, giving Tara a kiss on the lips.

She smiled shyly and pulled away. “I would hope so.”

Buffy had to smile at how cute they were together. They started kissing again and she took that as her cue to leave. Buffy decided to give the couple some privacy and headed back into the school to meet up with Spike.

Chapter 16

“Wow, I never would have guessed that about Faith. Not that I have a problem with it or anything,” Spike commented as they walked on the beach together, hand in hand. “That would explain why she never hit on me.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Not every girl hits on you, Spike. You’re not that special,” she said teasingly.

Spike glared at her. “You’re gonna get it, missy.”

Buffy then took off running, with Spike chasing after her. She laughed as he tackled her from behind.

They fell to the ground and Spike got on top of her. He pinned her arms above her head and smirked. “You surrender, love?”

Buffy gazed into his eyes. “Always,” she whispered, the game soon forgotten.

Spike lowered his lips to hers in a soft caress.

They kissed until they both needed to breathe.

Spike pressed his forehead against hers. “God, I love you,” he said, so much emotion in his voice. “You’re the best bloody thing that’s ever happened to me, you know that?”

Buffy nodded and felt tears in her eyes. “I feel the same way. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Spike let her arms go and brushed some hair out of her face. “Let’s not find out, pet. I already know that you’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

Buffy agreed, not able to stop the tears from falling down her face now. “I feel that way, too. I love you so much.”

Spike kissed her again, with all the love and passion that he felt for her.


* * * * *


Buffy and Spike entered the house later that night.

They walked into the living room and were about to head upstairs, when Buffy suddenly stopped.

Spike stopped as well to see what was wrong and noticed that his father was sitting in the living room with another man. The look on Buffy’s face told him who the other man was.

“Dad?” she said shakily, not expecting to see him so soon, if at all.

The two older men stood up when they noticed the teenagers.

Buffy still couldn’t believe that her father was there. “You came back?” she asked a little unsure. A part of her believed that he would never come back.

Giles moved over to Spike. “I think we should let them talk.”

Spike nodded and was about to walk away, but Buffy grabbed his hand to stop him from leaving.

“It’s okay, I want you to stay,” she claimed, then turned back to her father. “You’re back early; did everything go okay in New York?”

Hank nodded and thought about what he would tell his daughter. “Yes, everything’s fine. I actually only returned to get a few things, then I would be going back.”

Buffy nodded as well.

Spike noticed the sad expression on her face, wishing that he could take all of her pain away.

“So, you just stopped by to check up on me?” she wondered, hope in her voice that her father cared enough to visit her, but Hank just shook his head.

“You don’t understand, Buffy. When I say I’m going back, I mean indefinitely. I’ll be moving to New York, I was transferred there.”

Buffy was shocked and couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You’re...You’re never coming back?”

“There would be no reason to. You would be coming with me. I came here to take you back to the house, so you could pack your belongings. We leave the day after tomorrow.”

Buffy was surprised again, then grew angry. “What? I can’t move to New York. This isn’t fair; I have a life here now. A life I actually like, you can’t just keep moving me around until you find a place that works for you.”

Hank was startled by his daughter’s attitude.

Spike held Buffy’s hand tighter and became just as angry. He just found her and there was no way he was letting this man take her away from him. Spike didn’t care if he was her father. He wasn’t a good one and could never take care of her the way she deserved.

“This isn’t a discussion, Buffy. You’re going with me and that’s final. You have no say in this. Now, get your stuff and let’s go.”

Buffy shook her head. “No, I’m not going.” She squeezed Spike’s hand tighter this time.

Hank rolled his eyes and didn’t have time to deal with a child right now.

Spike didn’t know what to do and glanced at his father. “Dad, do something. You can’t let him take her,” he pleaded.

Giles didn’t know what to say.

Hank looked at Spike and finally noticed how Buffy was clinging to him. “What’s this about?”

Buffy gazed at him, with unshed tears in her eyes. She wouldn’t cry in front of him. “I’m with Spike, Dad. We’ve been seeing each other recently. We’re in love and I’m not leaving him. I like it here.”

Hank wouldn’t accept that. “This is not why I brought you here. I didn’t bring you here, so you could be with this punk and go back to your old ways.”

Spike felt like hitting him for that.

Giles placed a hand on his arm, finally speaking up. “I assure you, Mr. Summers. My son has been good for your daughter, and she has been good for him. It wouldn’t be right to separate them.”

Hank turned his glare on Giles now. “You’re supposed to be the adult, Mr. Giles. How could you let this happen? She’s just a child.”

Spike then couldn’t take anymore. “She’s not a child. She’s more than that, but you wouldn’t know anything about her. You abandoned her here when she needed you the most, and now you’re going to take her away from the one home that she feels comfortable in? What kind of father are you, mate?”

“How dare you talk to me like that! I will not stand here and be insulted by a teenager! We’re going, Buffy.” Hank tried to grab her, but she wouldn’t have it.

Buffy moved closer to her boyfriend, staring into her father’s cold eyes. “You don’t want me to live with you. If you did, you never would have brought me here in the first place. You could have taken me with you when you had the chance, but you didn’t because you didn’t want me around. You’re only here now to make yourself look good. I know I screwed up, but that doesn’t mean you should hate me for it. A father is supposed to love his children, no matter what mistakes they make. You gave up on me a long time ago, and I’m only sixteen-years-old. You just wanted to forget about everything after Mom died, including me. It is not my fault that she died, and it’s not fair for you to blame me for something that I had no control over. I love you, Daddy. That will never change, but I have a new life here. I’m doing better. I have real friends, and a boyfriend that really cares about me. I won’t let you take that away.”

Spike was proud of Buffy for standing up to him like that, giving her hand another squeeze.

Giles stepped forward and addressed the other man. “I would be willing to let Buffy stay here. We don’t mind having her around. We won’t need anything from you. All you have to do is accept it.”

Hank thought about it and realized that she would be getting in his way if she came to New York with him. She seemed to be happier here, even if he didn’t believe she was dating the right man. He supposed that she could do worse. Hank wasn’t in the mood to argue anymore and just nodded. “Fine, she can stay here. I don’t want you to call me saying how difficult she is. She’s your responsibility now.”

Giles nodded.

Spike let out a sigh of relief.

Buffy was relieved as well, even though she still felt hurt by his words.

“I’m sure we wouldn’t have a problem,” Giles commented.

Hank turned back to his daughter one more time. “Goodbye, Buffy. I don’t want you to call me to say that you changed your mind. This is your choice, and you’re going to have to live with it.”

Buffy had a determined expression on her face. “I think I’ll manage.”

Hank nodded and after giving her one more look, left the house.

Spike grabbed Buffy in a hug once he was gone, kissing the top of her head. He was so terrified that he was going to lose her. Spike knew that he would never let her go, no matter what.

Chapter 17

They were lying on Spike’s bed later that night, Buffy with her head against his chest.

She had tears streaming down her face.

Spike had his arms around her in comfort.

Buffy finally calmed down a bit and looked up at him. “Promise me that you’ll never leave?”

Spike’s heart was breaking when he heard the fear in her voice. He pressed a tender kiss on her lips. “I promise, sweetheart. I’ll never leave you.”

Buffy nodded and closed her eyes.

Spike could tell that she was exhausted. He kissed the top of her head and whispered in her ear. “Just rest now, everything will be okay.” He really hoped that it would be. Spike got up after a few minutes and moved away, making sure not to wake her. He left his room and headed downstairs to find his father in the kitchen.

Giles looked up at him when he walked in. “How is she?”

Spike rubbed his eyes before answering. “She finally fell asleep. Thanks for letting Buffy stay here. I don’t know what I would have done if he took her away.”

Giles nodded. “I couldn’t let that happen. She would be better off here. I know how much you love her, son. I could never deny you that. This is the first time I have ever really seen you happy.”

“She means the world to me. I never knew I could love anything this much.”

Giles smiled and placed a hand on his son’s shoulder. “I’m very proud of you, William. You’re turning into a good man. I know your mother would have been proud as well.”

Spike felt a little choked up. “I really hope so. I wish she could be here.”

Giles agreed. “Yes, so do I.”

They both remained silent after that.


* * * * *


Everyone found out the truth about Faith and Tara the next day at school, and they were all okay with it.

Xander was surprised at first, but he soon accepted it just like everyone else.

They were all sitting together at lunch, when Drusilla walked over to them.

Buffy glared at the dark haired girl and wondered what she wanted now.

Drusilla only smiled at them. “This is nice, like one big happy family. It’s enough to make me want to hurl.”

Buffy rolled her eyes.

Faith shot to her feet. “Bitch, I’ll give you something to hurl at,” she spat and was about to attack her, but Spike sat her back down.

“Don’t do anything stupid. She’s not worth it.”

Faith nodded and tried to calm down.

Tara grasped her girlfriend’s hand and gave it a comforting squeeze, which put a smile on the brunette’s face.

Buffy glared at Drusilla. “Did you want something? I think the skanks sit somewhere else.”

Drusilla graced her with a scowl. “I should be very cross with you.”

Buffy laughed. “Is that supposed to scare me? Look, you need to get over this. Spike’s not with you anymore, deal with it and find someone else that will put up with your craziness.”

Spike smiled at his girl.

Drusilla wasn’t amused. “You’re all wet, deary,” she said, then grabbed Buffy’s bottle of water and dumped it on her head.

Buffy stood up all drenched, her fists clenched at her side. “All right, that does it,” with that said, she slapped Drusilla across the face.

She yelled out and touched her stinging cheek, then grabbed Buffy’s hair.

Buffy did the same and they both started to fight each other.

The guys stood up and tried to stop it.

Xander grabbed Buffy and pulled her away, while Spike grabbed Drusilla.

Buffy was struggling in his arms.

Xander didn’t think that he would be able to hold her for much longer. “Buffy, calm down already. She’s not worth getting in trouble over.”

Buffy stopped after a moment.

Xander let her go.

She saw Drusilla stop struggling in Spike’s arms as well.

Spike then pushed her away from him. “You really are a crazy bitch. I don’t know how I put up with you for as long as I did. Stay the hell away from us, you got that? I swear, Dru. You come near her again and you will regret it.” He moved back to Buffy, taking her hand in his.

Drusilla stared at him, with a hurt look on her face. “My poor Spike. You’re so lost, not even I can help you now,” she stated, then walked away from them.

Spike sighed and turned back to Buffy. “Are you okay? Did she hurt you?”

Buffy was touched at his concern and shook her head. “Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

Faith moved over to them, a huge smile on her face. “Couldn’t have done it better myself, B.”

Buffy smiled and gave Spike’s hand a squeeze, then turned her smile on him. “You wanna get out of here?”

Spike nodded. “God, yes.” He glanced at the others. “We’ll see you guys later.”

Buffy waved to them as Spike pulled her out of there.


* * * * *


“I can’t believe you drove two hours to bring me here. Does Giles know about this?”

Spike nodded and led her to their destination. “He said it would be okay. We both think you need this. Besides, I would like to meet the woman that brought you into the world.”

Buffy gave him a smile as they finally reached the tombstone, then felt tears in her eyes when she stared at her mother’s grave. She placed the flowers down that she picked up earlier, tracing the name on the headstone. “Hey, Mom. It’s me, but I guess you already knew that. I’m sorry I haven’t been by lately and that I missed your birthday, but a lot of things have happened.” She looked up at Spike for a moment, then back at the grave. “I’m doing better now, I’m really trying. I hope that when I get older, I’ll be someone that you could be proud of. I know I have a lot to make up for. I miss you, Mommy. I just wish you could still be here. This is Spike, my boyfriend. I know that you would have liked him. He’s a really great guy and he’s going to take good care of me, so you don’t have to worry.” Buffy wiped at her eyes and touched the tombstone one more time. “I love you,” she whispered and stood up, taking Spike’s hand in hers.

He gave it a comforting squeeze.

She turned teary eyes on him.

Spike then kissed her softly on the lips.

Buffy smiled and pulled away. “Thank you for this, Spike. I mean that, thank you for everything.”

Spike tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I should be thanking you.”

“It’s your turn now. I would like to meet the woman that brought you into the world.”

Spike hadn’t visited his mother’s grave in a while, but knew that it was time. He nodded and led her over to his car.

They got in and drove back to Sunnydale, both finally being at peace in their lives. They knew that as long as they had each other, they would be able to accomplish anything. And that’s exactly what they did.

The End