Buffy walked through the hospital halls dazed. Now she was all alone, so very much alone.

*** “I’m sorry Miss Summers, but there’s nothing we could do. She’s gone.”

“What do you mean she’s gone?”

“She passed away at 7:37 p.m this evening.”

“Oh, I have to call someone.” Buffy had answered while walking away slowly, seemingly lost in her own world. ***


After 10 rings the answering machine picked up.

“Hello, you’ve reached Hank Summers, please leave your name and a message after the tone and I’ll get back to you when I can.”

Buffy choked on her tearful laughter. How ironic, her father’s answering machine had just summed up their relationship in a nutshell.

“Hank it’s Buffy. Mo…Mom passed away tonight and I don’t know what to do. I need you to come as soon as you can. Our…my address is 1630 Revello Drive, it’s pretty easy to find once you get into Sunnydale.”

She hung up the phone and sat down in a chair outside one of the rooms, put her head into her hands and cried.

She was 24 years old and had been living on her own in L.A for the past 4 years. She had worked her way through school and gotten herself a pretty nice apartment; things had been going well until the night her mother had called with the news. She had a tumour and the doctors didn’t know how much longer she had left. Buffy had given notice at the hospital she was working at and had gotten her landlord to let her out of her lease early. She’d come to Sunnydale as soon as she could and had spent the last three months spending time with her mother and taking care of her.

She didn’t know what to do anymore. She could move back to L.A but she didn’t know if she wanted too. Sunnydale was a beautiful place and it held so many beautiful memories of the time she had spent with her mother in the last little while. It’s not like her Dad would miss her, he barely spoke to her as was. The only thing he was good for was giving money and she seldom took advantage of that. In fact the only time she had asked was to help her mother pay her hospital bills. When Hank had found out Joyce was sick he had given Buffy a large amount of cash to take care of everything. Buffy could easily live in luxury for the next few years but she loved her job. After the funeral she would search the paper for ads in her field. She sent a silent prayer to her mother and walked out of the doors.

On the opposite side of the building an ambulance pulled up with it’s sirens wailing. A man was lowered from it on a stretcher and wheeled in. The doctors surrounded him as the driver filled them in.

“Caucasian male, mid-twenties. Hit and run, lost a lot of blood, slipped into a coma at 7:37 p.m.”











Buffy stood outside the Sunnydale Hospital and took a deep breath. Most people would find it hard to go back to the place they had lost a loved one but in a sense Buffy found it comforting. Her mother had shown just how strong she was inside these walls and now Buffy would do the same. She would make her mother proud.

She walked in with her head held high and was directed to room 319, Robin Wood’s office, hospital director.

When the door opened a tall black man came out. She would guess him to be in his early thirties or so. He had a charming face and she smiled when he shook her hand.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Miss Summers. I understand that you have recently lost your mother. I’m sorry to hear that.”

He had expected her to look away or tear up at the mention of her loved one’s passing but instead she smiled radiantly.

“She was a wonderful woman Mr. Wood. I’m sure you would have liked her, most people did.”

He liked this girl. She didn’t seem to be dwelling on the bad but on the good. Too many times he’d seen people fade away in their grief, forgetting that this was not what the person they had lost would have wanted. Too many people forgot the good while they where lost in the bad.

“So I see here that you worked for three years in the coma ward at the Los Angeles Hospital?”

“Yes, I had thirteen patients in my care at that time and I am proud to mention that 9 woke up.”

He raised his eyebrows thoroughly impressed. “And do you think that this was because of you?”

Buffy laughed loudly and covered her mouth. When she stopped she looked him in the eyes, he liked that.

“I’m not saying that at all Mr Wood. I’m a believer that people wake up if they want to, I just try to help them find the courage to do so.”

“Meaning what exactly Miss Summers?”

“I believe that people who are comatose are aware of the situation they’re in but cannot break free from it without help. I believe the world they create inside their minds is more appealing then the one they live in. I try to find the things that made the world a beautiful place for them in the first place and I try to surround them with it.”

“Can you give me an example please?”

Buffy smiled. A lot of people thought she was loopy when she tried to explain her opinion on her job but what counted was that she got results.

“One of my patients was an elderly woman. Her family told me that she loved flowers so everyday I would bring in a new arrangement and place them all around her. Small improvements where made, we had some r.e.m movement and some small movements in her fingers. One day I brought in a rare type of flower and she spoke while still asleep.”

“What did she say?” Robin asked intrigued.

Buffy smiled. “She said the name of the flower.”

“Did she wake up?”

“That day? No she didn’t. Everyday for the next week we brought in more and more rare flowers until one day she didn’t say the name of it.”

“Did you try a different method after that?”

“Didn’t have too, she opened her eyes and asked what kind they where.”

Robin sat back in his chair and thought about something.

“How did she know what kind of flowers you had been bringing in without being able to see them?”

“That’s a fair question. I described them to her in great detail. I went over everything from the stem to every tip of every petal.”

Robin cleared his throat and smiled. “I must say I’m amazed Buffy. I admit I have looked over your transcripts from the L.A hospital and the people there think you’re a genius.”

Buffy laughed again. “I’m no Einstein Mr Wood but I do enjoy my job. Would you like to ask me any more questions?”

“Yes actually. On your records it shows that you also have a nursing degree. Why would a psychologist need one?”

“I like to be the one taking care of my patients Mr Wood. I find that if you have too many people coming in and out of the patient’s life randomly that this might make the patient less open to waking up.”

“Well Miss Summers I must say that I don’t necessarily understand your methods but I do approve. I used to be a high school principal and a constant routine was necessary to keep the students on their toes.”

Buffy only smiled at that and stood to leave.

Robin stood and shook her hand again. “Before you leave Miss Summers may I show you something?”

“Of course Mr Wood.”

“Robin, please. The Mr. Part makes me sound so old.”

“Robin then, would you mind calling me Buffy? The Miss makes me feel old too.”

They laughed together as he led her down a hall. They stopped outside a door and Robin turned to her.

“This isn’t going to be pretty Buffy. The man I’m about to show you was the victim of a hit and run. He was brought in last Friday and slipped into a coma shortly afterwards. He has no relatives that we have been able to find. Everyone in his family seems to have passed on, god rest their souls. No one has come to see him either. From a number we reached on a paper inside his wallet we where able to establish that he just moved here a week prior to the accident from England. Other than that we know the basics. Caucasian male, 26 years old. His name is William Calendar and he has no one.”

He opened the door and Buffy walked up to the bed. Her hand flew over her mouth and she fought the urge to gag. His face was swollen pretty badly and there was a deep gash running through his left eyebrow. His left arm and leg where severely broken and his whole body was covered in blue bruises.

Robin turned to look at her. “He’s the only coma patient we have at this time Buffy. What do you do when no one can tell you what they used to like or how they where?”

“I find out on my own.”


Robin nodded his head. She had spirit he would give her that. There was no harm in letting her try to help the young man and they where certainly short on nurses. “Can you start tonight?”

Buffy looked at him and gave a tiny smile, never taking her observant eyes off the man in the bed. “I already have.”


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( 1 week before the story starts)



Spike stood in line tapping his foot impatiently. He wanted a coffee and he wanted it bloody well now. The line shuffled forward and the cashier finally asked for his order.

“A cup of blood luv’.”

The girl gasped and stepped back a little. ‘Soddin yankees have no sense of humour.’ “I was teasing miss, I’ll have a cup of coffee yeah?”

The girl nodded her head and made him his cup, silently taking his money and giving him the change. He sighed and ran a hand through his bleached locks. He’d only gotten hear yesterday and already he was having doubts. He turned and looked for a vacant seat to no avail.


Across the room was a pretty middle-aged woman waving him over. When he stopped at the table she was sitting at, “Can I help you ma’am?”

The woman gave him a beautiful smile. “Actually I think I can help you. There isn’t anywhere else to sit and there’s an extra chair right here. You can share the table with me if you want.”

Spike smiled sheepishly. “I would like that ma’am and thank you.”

“It’s Joyce. Joyce Summers.” she said and held out her hand.

Spike took it and kissed it instead of shaking it as she’d expected, causing her to blush. “Spike. Spike Calendar.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Spike.”

“The pleasure is all mine Joyce.”

He sat back and took a sip of his coffee before speaking again. “Ya know, I think you may be the first person who hasn’t asked me my real name.” he said with a laugh.

She smiled and leaned in close as if she where about to tell a secret. “I named my daughter Buffy so who am I to judge?”

They both laughed at that and from there the conversation flowed freely.

“So I can tell by your accent that you’re not from here. Are you visiting from England?”

“Not visiting, I just moved here but I do come from England.”

“What brings you here?”

“Trying to make a new life for myself. England is grand but the weather doesn’t suit my style.”

Joyce looked at his smirk and grinned to herself. What mother could resist playing matchmaker right?

“So Spike do you have any family here?”

“No, I have no living relatives actually, god rest their souls. My family’s passed on but they’re in a better place I believe.”

Joyce put her hand over his and patted it affectionately. She didn’t know why but she liked this man. “Of course they are honey.” After a moment of silence had passed she continued. “So what do you do?”

“I’m actually looking for a teaching job, I’m an English professor.”

“That’s a god job. It takes patience and caring, it makes you strong.”

Spike laughed. “Well I don’t know if it makes me strong but it definitely makes me crazy. But it’s worth it to see the look on a student’s face when they graduate.”

“So how old are you Spike?”

“26 years old. Only been teaching for about 2 years now.”

Joyce stayed silent for a moment and then reached for her purse. She began to riffle through it while starting to talk again.

“Are you seeing anyone?”

Spike held back a grin, he could smell a mum playing cupid but he didn’t want to offend her by laughing in her face. “Single as someone can be.”

“Well seeing as how you’re new in town would you like to come over to my house next Friday for dinner? I can introduce you to my daughter and perhaps she could give you a tour.”

“And why couldn’t I let you lead me around town Joyce?” he asked with a wink.

The older woman smiled. “Well at my age Spike I don’t think I could show you the sights you’d be interested in, Buffy on the other hand is around your age. There it is!” she said triumphantly, pulling out a wallet-sized picture. She put it in his hands and said proudly, “There’s my baby girl.”

Spike lowered his eyes to the girl in the photograph and his heart sped up. Long, slightly curled honey gold hair, hazel eyes he could get lost in, a cute tiny nose and lips he wanted to feel all over his body.

Joyce giggled and he looked up, realising where he was and with who.

“She’s lovely Joyce.” He said almost breathlessly. “I can see where she gets it from though.”

Joyce slapped his hand teasingly. “You’re a fox Spike. So, would you like to come to dinner then?”

“I’d be honoured Joyce.”

Joyce started to scribble the time and the directions onto a piece of paper for him but he didn’t need it. The second she had uttered the address he knew he would never forget it, how could he when two angels lived there?

When they exchanged their goodbyes Joyce left the coffee shop with a broad smile on her features. She had the feeling that Buffy would like this man. There was something about him that Joyce had felt immediately. Maybe it was mothers intuition or maybe not but she trusted this man and believed that he would be good for her daughter. ‘Maybe he’ll be there to take care of her when I’m not.’




(The night of the dinner, around 5 o’clock)

“Mom? Mom I’m home.”

Buffy closed the door behind her and walked over to the table by the stairs. “Oh flowers, pretty.”

She read the card. “Joyce, can’t wait to see you tonight. Spike.”
“Mom you vixen, who’s Spike? Mom, you home?”

Buffy turned to the living room and her body froze. “Mom…mom…mommy?”








Spike had sent the flowers a few hours ago and had just hopped onto his bike. The rain was pretty bad and if he had left earlier he would have taken the bus. But he wanted to be on time so the bike it was. He would just have to go slowly.

He was halfway there when he heard it. Screams from people on the sidewalks, the sound of screeching tires. He looked up and tried to swerve but it was too late. The racing car bumped into him from the side causing him to lose control, the bike landed on it’s side with one his legs and arms pinned beneath it. His head, even though encased in a helmet, make a sickening crunch as it connected with the concrete streets. And then there was black.




Beep. Beep. Beep.


Buffy walked into the room and sighed. The sound of all the machines making their noises was giving her a headache. It had been a long day. She’d been making phone calls to England for three hours trying to find out anything she could about the man in her care. All Williams ex-landlord could tell her was that he liked bad music. When Buffy had explained the situation he told her that his niece had liked the same bands and when she came to visit he would ask for the names of them and phone Buffy back. He added that “William was a right good bloke and too stubborn to die.” The last part of the conversation had made Buffy smile.

She sat next to him and ran her hands over his hair. He moaned a little when she did so she continued. ‘I wonder what kind of place he’s made for himself, where he is and what’s he’s doing in there right now.’ Buffy thought as her hands ran over his head. “Where are you William?” she asked herself.



(Williams mind)

“Sorry I was late Joyce, almost had an accident on the way but everything’s okay. Did you like the flowers?”




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Joyce gave him a warm hug and led him to the living room, motioning for him to sit on the couch. When he did she went to the liquor cabinet.

“Something to drink Spike?”

“Wine if you have please.”

“Red or white?”

“White would be lovely, thank you.”


When Joyce had poured the glasses of wine for them she handed him his and sat opposite him on the chair.

Spike lifted his glass of wine. “To a beautiful woman and a beautiful home.”

They ‘clinked’ their glasses and took a sip after Joyce thanked him.


He took in his surroundings and smiled. This was such a cozy place, he could stay here forever lost in its warmth.

**Its not real ** a voice in the back of his head whispered but he ignored it.

The two engaged in small chit-chat. How their week had gone, amusing anecdotes and so on and it wasn’t that Spike didn’t like Joyce, she was a real nice lady, but he couldn’t take his mind off the girl in the picture.

Joyce stood and gave him a knowing smile. “Will you help me set the table Spike?”

He stood as soon as she asked, “Of course.” he answered and followed her to the dining room. In the middle was a large, dark mahogany table with candles in the center. She handed him the plates and utensils and walked to the stairs that led to the upper part of the house.

“Buffy sweetie, supper is almost ready.”

“Coming ma’” came the sing-song reply.

Spike’s heart sped up at the sound of her voice and even more so when footsteps where heard on the stairs. He walked over to Joyce and sucked in a breath when she descended.

Tiny feet that where bare padded down the steps. Well toned calf’s that where expertly tanned followed by the sexiest thighs he’d ever seen came into view next. Of course if he’d lifted his head he could have gotten the full picture right away and where was the romance in that? After mid-thigh her body was encased in a form fitting, blood red strapless dress. It showed just the right amount of cleavage, not too much. Her collarbone was bare and the tiniest cross hung between the crevace between her breasts. Her neck was long and slender. When he finally had the courage to look into her face he almost fell. The picture had done her no justice. Her eyes sparkled with a life he wanted to feel all for himself, her small smile was all for him and he thanked god a thousand times for giving him the chance to gaze upon perfection. Her nose was the cutest thing he’d ever seen and he wanted to reach out and tap it softly, just to see what kind of adorable face she would make if he did.

When she reached the bottom she stumbled and in an instant he had his arms around her waist, keeping her up.

“Thanks for catching me.” she said with a small giggle.

‘The sound an angel makes’ “Thanks for falling for me kitten.” he answered with a smirk.

The radiant smile she gave him made him so happy that he just stood there dumbly, still holding her tight.

“Well the crisis was averted, I think you can let me go now.”

He blushed deeply. “Whatever you want princess.”

Joyce left them then to get a bottle of wine for the table and Buffy looked into his ocean blue eyes. “I never said that’s what I wanted.” She said in a husky voice before stepping away and extending her hand.

“I’m Buffy, I take it you’re the infamous Spike I’ve been hearing about all week?”

“That I am, I’m enchanted to make your acquaintance Miss Buffy.”

“As am I to make yours kind sir.” She gave a small courtsy and they both laughed as Joyce called them to the table.









Buffy walked into the room humming, a washbasin and a sponge in her hands. It was time to give the patient a good cleaning. She started with the feet.

She took one in her hand and ran the cloth over it softly, noticing how big they where. ‘You know what they say about big feet’ she thought with a wicked smile before ‘Bad Buffy! No naughty thoughts concerning comatose men.’


She worked her way up his leg and did what she could for the other but the cast was preventing a lot. She went to his chest after that and practically drooled on him.
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8. 8 rippling abs. ‘Why are all the good ones comatose?’ she thought irritated.


She sighed at the feel of her fingers running over his well-sculpted chest and wondered what he was like. It had only been a week since she’d been put in his care but his roots where already beginning to show. All she knew for sure was that he had sandy brown hair but nothing else. She wished the landlord would phone her back already so she could try to figure out how he was based on his music taste. The older man had said that he listened to bad music but in Williams defense many older people thought Cindy Lauper was the devil, so she had no clue.


While she’d been lost in thought she’d subconsciously finished all the washing except for one place. She sighed. She always felt wrong cleaning….down there when the patient had no clue what she was doing. She felt like a molester.

She grimaced and closed her eyes as she lifted his robe. With eyes still tightly shut she put the warm cloth over him and began to scrub gently. With every back and forth motion of her hand Buffy got a mental image of how big he was and couldn’t resist a peek.


Well, a peek turned into a full out ogle when she saw his impressive package. ‘Thank god I’m almost done’ Buffy thought practically frantic. She looked at his face and was elated to see him smiling. No, not smiling, smirking was more like it.

“I wonder what put that look on your face?” Buffy asked out loud and gasped when the cloth ran over a rigid 9 inch erection.


(Williams mind)

Buffy’s foot had been teasing him underneath the dinner table for the last 15 minutes. The bint was saucy, he’d give her that…….and a hell of a lot more if she wanted him too.



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Buffy heard her voice over the hospital intercom and headed to Robins office. When she got there he poured her a cup of coffee and asked her to sit down.

“Thank you.” She said when he placed the steaming mug in front of her. “I think I may need this more then I thought.”

He smiled and agreed. “You’ve been working around the clock Buffy, as a nurse and as a psychologist. I hope you don’t mind that I hired some extra nurses to help you out a little bit.”

Buffy almost spit out her coffee. “Mind? Hell no, that’s great. It gives me more time to work with William.”

Robin smiled at her happy response. “I know this is hard for you Buffy, not having any clue to what he’s like.”

She nodded her head. “It is but I know I can do it. It’s only been a few days and there is at least another 2 and a half months before we really have to worry about any permanent brain damage. He’ll wake up.” She said, more to convince herself then Robin.

Robin leaned back in his chair and withheld a sigh. He knew that Buffy was working as much as she was to take her mind of the loss of her mother but he had the feeling she was becoming a little too attached to the patient, staying so focused on saving him because she couldn’t save her mother.

“Buffy, you have to consider the possibility that he won’t and that if he doesn’t it won’t be your fault.”

She averted her eyes and bit her lip. She didn’t know why but she knew that she had to wake him up. Above everything else she wanted to see his eyes, she had the feeling that they would be out of this world. She didn’t want to just lift Williams eye-lids and see them like that, she wanted to see them aware and full of life. She swore to herself in that instant that she would get the chance to see them, even if it took her working 24/7 to bring him back.

She stood and gave Robin a small, sad smile. “Is there anything else?”

After a moment of trying to figure out if he should continue with his warnings he decided against it. “Actually yes, a package came in the mail for you today.”

He handed her a fairly large box and at her shocked expression he handed her the letter that had come with it.

She thanked him and headed back to the room that was quickly becoming a second home to her. She sat in the chair by the bed and tore off the tape that held the box closed. Shooting out the garbage and then opening the letter.

“Dear Miss Summers,

I was cleaning out William’s old apartment when I found some of the things he’d left behind by mistake. My prayers are with you and with him, I hope this helps.
Sincerely
Cranky Landlord”

Buffy laughed out loud and made a mental note to phone the old man back. What he’d sent could very well be the key to bringing her patient back into this world.

She riffled through the box. 2 sex pistols c.d’s, a zippo lighter with the words ‘Big Bad’ scrawled across it, a bleaching kit (she had to giggle at that), a leather duster (SEXY) and a few journals.

She excitedly popped one of the discs into the small portable player she’d brought from home and pushed play. Her hands covered her ears instantly and she cringed. ‘So the landlord was right, he does like bad music’. She lowered the volume considerably and opened one of the journals.

It was dated 11 years ago, when he had only been 15. Her eyes grew wide and Buffy lost herself in the world of William’s adolescence, reading out loud as she did in hopes that the words may trigger some sort of response within her patient.



Buffy and Spike walked hand in hand to his car, he opened the door for her and kissed her softly on the lips before walking to his side and revving the engine.

“Where are we going baby?” Buffy asked as the sun lit her face, making her seem angelic.

He grimaced and she giggled at the site. “For a ride.”

“Where?”

“Down memory lane.”

“Oh, I like it there, it makes you remember things you forgot a long time ago.” Buffy said softly and gave his hand a small squeeze.

When they pulled up to a fork in the road Spike read the street signs and he tensed. ‘Williams Way’ went right and ‘Lost’ went left. This was weird, something was wrong but he couldn’t put his finger on it just yet.

**This isn’t real** a voice whispered but again he pushed it away.

He looked at Buffy and she gave him a smile. “We’ve made 3 lefts already, if we make another left we’ll be going in circles.” She said softly.

“I like circles, circles are safe.” Spike whispered.

Buffy leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Trust me, go right baby.”


They drove through a thick forest, it was so dark that Spike almost couldn’t see at all. He was beginning to get worried and was going to stop and turn around when all of a sudden the sun lit their path again and they pulled into a beautiful little town. He got out of his car and stepped onto the sidewalk, Buffy was soon by his side. He looked around, it reminded him a little of where he’d grown up.

Suddenly a small woman walked up to them. Spike looked down and hugged her fiercely.

“Mum, it’s been a long time.” He breathed her in and smiled. She still smelled the same, like ginger cookies he thought happily.

“Yes it has baby boy.” The woman said and gently ran her hand over his cheek. “You’re all grown up now. Such a strong and stubborn boy. When will you admit your lost William?”

“I’m not lost mum, I finally found a place I like and a girl I love.”

Jenny just shook her head and smiled. “You should take a walk around William, there’s quite a bit too see.”

“Okay mum.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “Will I see you later?”

“I’m always with you, you just have to remember where to look.”

At that she turned and walked away, Spike followed her with his eyes until she disappeared from view and then turned and began to walk.

The first street he turned down was “Adolescent Avenue.”



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Buffy turned another page, utterly intrigued. He seemed so……lost. So far from what she had read he was a sad and lonely teenager. There was a little bit about a crush and she couldn’t wait to find out about what had happened with it. Had he won the girl?







Buffy held his hand tightly and urged him to keep walking. They got to a store called ‘Locker Loser’. Spike went to walk past it but Buffy dragged him in.

Spike walked in and gasped. It was as if he had just walked onto a movie set about his life, only not the one he had now, the one he had then. Pre-Spike he called it.

Buffy pulled him to a set of chairs and he sat next to her. She handed him popcorn and he looked at her confused.

“Where did you get this? We didn’t see any concession stand.”

Buffy put her finger to his lips. “Shhh, it’s about to start.”

He turned back towards the ‘show’ and quieted down.


There he was at around 15 years old, hair all mousy brown and curly. Pen’s in his shirt pocket and books in hand. He walked to his locker and put in the combo. When the door opened he placed his chemistry book inside and reached for his lunch.

BANG. Three big brutes who he remembered well where surrounding him, ready to pick on him as they did every day.

The William he was watching flinched and seemed to shrink into himself. As Spike watched his temper began to flare. “Bloody hell luv’ let’s get the soddin’ hell out of here ya?”

He heard yells of ‘shut-up’ and ‘come on we paid to see this’. He turned around to tell whoever was yelling at him to fuck off but the words never made it out of his mouth.

Buffy took his hand and led him out, the sound of laughter reaching their ears as the door closed behind them.

“What’s going on Buffy? I don’t like it here.”

She gave him a small smile and kissed him lightly. “Baby you have to be here right now and you’ll always be here if you don’t admit you’re lost and ask for directions.”

“I don’t know what you mean baby.” The tears began to gather in his eyes but he pushed them back. He wouldn’t cry in front of Buffy, wouldn’t admit he didn’t know how to get out of this hellish little town. He would find the way and then him and Buffy could live happily ever after. “I love you kitten.” He said and cupped her face in his hands.

Buffy started to walk away. “No you don’t, but thanks for saying it.”

He watched in horror as she disappeared, just faded from sight. “Buffy? BUFFFYYYYY?” he screamed but no one answered. He sank to his knees and let the tears come.





Buffy closed the book and gently took her hand out of Williams. She closed the door gently behind her and walked down the hallway to the cafeteria. She ordered her lunch and sat at an empty table. Her heart bled for what had happened to him. Being picked on everyday like that must really have a toll on a person. Right after lunch she would read some more. She needed to find out what had happened with his crush. The more she read the more an idea began to form in her head. It was a long shot but it might just wake him up.

After dumping the contents of her tray in the garbage bin she headed back to Williams room. When she opened the door what she saw made her whimper. He looked so sad and tears where streaming down his face.

She rushed to his side and took his large hand in hers again. She dabbed at his tears with a Kleenex, drying his face. She would shave his face tonight, he was getting pretty scruffy. All that stubble hiding the ivory shade of his skin was a sin, at night when she looked at him he seemed to glow in the moonlight. He looked heavenly at these times to her.


She picked up the journal and began to read again, skipping ahead just a few pages. There it was. A girls name, Cecily. The love of his life. Buffy bit her lip and hoped that what she read would be of the good.





“Why are you crying baby?”

Spike jumped up and held her close. “Why did you leave me? I was so scared baby, I was all alone.”

She kissed his cheeks and brushed away his tears. “I was hungry.”

“I could have taken you somewhere to eat Buffy, I would have gone with you.”

She smiled at him and shook her head. “You couldn’t come with me where I was going.”

“Why not?” Spike asked growing irritated.

“Because your still too lost baby.”

He pushed her hand away and turned to walk away from her but he bumped into somebody and sent the person sprawling.

“Fuck I’m sorry mate, I didn’t see you there.” He said and offered the stranger his hand.

Once the person got up he faced Spike. “It’s okay, no one ever does.” He said before running out of sight. Spike shook his head in shock. He had just helped himself up, a much younger self sure, but himself none the less. As the fleeing figure disappeared around the corner Spike’ eye’s widened. There was only one time he could remember crying in public at that age.

The sound of vicious laughter reached his ears and he turned slowly towards it’s source.

A beautiful girl stood surrounded by men and in her hands she held a piece of paper up and read.

“Hark, the lark…..”

Before she could utter another syllable Spike had torn through the crowd and ripped the paper from her delicate hands.

She looked at him with disgust and laughed in his face. “Who the hell do you think you are?” he roared.

“And pray tell just who do you think you are? Coming up to me and taking my personal belongings right out of my hands, I should have you arrested, you’re benea…”

“I’M BENEATH NO ONE” he yelled as the memories of that day hit him full force. And just like that, Cecily and the others where gone, only him and Buffy stood there now.

“What’s going Buffy? I need to get out of here.”

“Are you ready to admit you’re lost?”

He sank to his knees and pressed his face to her stomach, arms wrapped around her as he sobbed. “I’m lost baby, I’m so bloody lost.”


She pulled him to his feet. “There’s one last stop we have to make before you can go home okay?”

He nodded his head and followed her to a street corner that looked familiar.








Buffy put the journal down and wiped her tears. He had been hurt so badly, so much. All he’d ever wanted was love and he’d never gotten it. That Cecily girl had hurt him deeply. He’d told her he loved her and she had laughed in his face, mocking him in front of everyone. She ran a hand over his face and smiled. Her idea was only reinforced by the rest of what she’d read.



Spike watched as he saw a bike turn the corner. The rain was making the streets slick and the man on the bike was going cautiously. Sadly the man in the car wasn’t. Spike yelled to the man on the motorcycle but his cries went unheard and the speeding car crashed into him and continued on. Spike and Buffy ran to the fallen man’s side.

With shaking hands Spike lifted the man’s helmet and came face to face with himself. He looked at Buffy. “This isn’t what happened.” He repeated over and over again.

When he felt her tiny hand cover his he looked into her eyes and he understood. “I never made it to your house did I? We never fell in love, we never really came here.”

She shook her head no and leaned in………




Buffy closed her eyes and pressed her lips to his, if all he’d craved in life was affection then maybe showing him some would wake him up, she prayed to God her idea would work.




Please let me know what you thought.....xxx

Special thanx to Jess, DK, NEO, blondiebear, Brat, beasleysmom, Caitie, Saltygoodness, Mariana, moonorchid, gattaca, shelly, Raven, melissa g, Amelia, TammyDevil666, MidnightGirl, UncagedMuse/Rae, Daisy, Flibble, Buffy and SpikeForever, Megan/Peta, chris, Blazing Fire, Bint, Anne, theladyofspike, Leisa, Cordykitten. I’ve never gotten that many reviews for any chapter ive posted and I cant thank you enough, this one’s for you!!!!



Spike felt himself falling. He didn’t know the difference between up and down, left from right. The blackness surrounded him and a soothing voice broke through the swirling nothingness.

“Come on wake up” the voice urged. His heart swelled with joy, it was Buffy’s voice, he was going back to her.


Buffy leaned back in the chair and sighed, it hadn’t worked. She had thought for sure it would, he seemed like such a romantic from his journals that she thought a fairy-tale kiss would have shocked him awake. “I’m sorry William.” She said before she put her head in her hands and mentally started to try to figure out a new plan.

Buffy jumped as something brushed over her head. With a slowness she didn’t know she was capable of she lifted her eyes and came face to face with the bluest eyes she’d ever seen. For a moment she thought herself to be dreaming, no one had eyes that seemed to capture the essence of the sky in real life, right? Wrong.

“What are you sorry for baby?” came the raspy voice, his throat sore from mis-use. Before she knew what was happening he pulled her to him. She could have fought him off in his weakened condition but truth be told she was still partly sure that this was a fantasy. ‘A dream, I must have fallen asleep when I was reading his journals’ she rationalized. But when his lips came crashing down on hers in a searing kiss that stole her breath she knew she could never have dreamt up that kind of passion. She pulled away breathless and pressed herself against the wall, a shaking hand covering her mouth.

“Baby what’s wrong?” The man asked and struggled to sit up, not an easy feat when you’ve been asleep for the past 3 weeks and about half your body is in a cast.

“Mr. Calendar, my name is Buffy. Buffy….”

“Summers, I know that princess. You live at 1630 Revello drive with your mother Joyce, a very nice lady might I add, and you love me as much as I love you. That about right kitten?”

The tears had begun to stream down her face now and her heart felt like it was breaking. How the fuck did this man know where she lived? How did he know her mother? And had he said he loved her?

Buffy walked over to the intercom on the wall and buzzed for a doctor.

She turned and looked back towards the man who had been in her care for the last few weeks. If she owed him anything, it was an explanation.

“Mr Calendar, you where in an accident a few weeks ago. You where on your bike when you where hit by a car, you slipped into a coma. I’ve been taking care of you, it was my job to wake you up but I did not know of you until the day I was assigned you as a patient…..I’m sorry William.”

The doctor had come in then and started to flit around him, bombarding him with questions but through it all he stayed silent and his eyes never left hers as confusion and then understanding swept across his face. Was he crying? Buffy’s heart hurt for him and she fled the room, not able to see the pain of his face any longer.


Without a word to anyone Buffy left the hospital. She had a lot of things to get done tonight. Starting with a nice big bottle of Jack.






Buffy sat on her living room floor and took her 10th shot of the night. In front of her were pictures of her and her mom. Some made her laugh, some made her cry, but all of them made her miss her mom even more. With a sniff she stood up and grabbed her bottle, heading out into the rain that had started just a few moments ago.


She walked without having to look up, her feet already knew the way to their destination. They had walked there often in the last few weeks. When Buffy walked through the gates to the Rest-Field cemetery she took another swig. There it was, her mothers marker just 3 rows down. The rain had soaked her to the bone and Buffy felt a chill go through her. The weather was getting colder by the minute and for the first time since leaving the house she realised how late it actually was. She kneeled in front of the stone that was now so familiar to her.

Joyce Summers
1960-2005
Beloved mother
Missed but never forgotten

Buffy ran her fingers across the lettering that had been engraved into the cold slab of marble, she had chosen the words for it. ‘They aren’t enough’ Buffy thought angrily.

She took another swig from the bottle. “Hi mommy, I miss you. Something weird happened today.” Another gulp of the fiery liguid. “My patient woke up, William, I told you about him remember? Anyway, he woke up and he knows us mommy, I don’t know how but he does.” A period of time elapsed while she sat there in the rain, minutes, hours…she really couldn’t tell, she really couldn’t care either. She stood and got ready to leave. “ I’ll see you soon and maybe next time I’ll have more to say. I love you.”

Buffy kissed her fingertips and pressed them to the stone, looking upwards while she did. With her face like that the heavens cried down on her, mixing it’s tears with her own until they blended together on the broken girls face.




The building was almost soundless. Spike looked at the clock, 2:30 in the morning. He sighed and tried to get comfortable but the pain killers hadn’t kicked in yet. He closed his eyes and tried to fight back the tears.

He should have stayed there, lost. Because at least while he’d been lost he had her. Buffy, his Buffy. Only it wan’t ‘his’ Buffy here. She was just a stranger to him that wore his baby’s face and a part of him hated her for that. A part of him believed that she had no right to look like the woman he had fallen in love with, because she wasn’t her. The woman he loved didn’t really exist. His eyes began to droop and he welcomed sleep like an old friend, maybe he could be happy for a few hours, maybe she would be there in his dreams.


Please let me know what you thought xxx

Wow, you guys keep amazing me with these reviews and I still haven’t found a way to thank you all enough so I hope this is okay…. Special thanx to BuffyandSpikeForever, tina, Brittany, Brat, Caitie, Blazing Fire, Mermaid310, UncagedMuse/Rae, Mariana, beasleysmom, shelly, daisy, Flibble, moonorchid, MidnightGirl, Bint, Melissa g, CordyKitten, Raven and Blondiebear, you guys really do kick ass and your support has been the driving force behind this fic!!! XXX Hope you like it, here goes….


Buffy walked through the hospital doors, determination on her face. She had woken up with what she had called ‘the worst fucken’ hangover I’ve ever had’ but it was the reason behind the hangover that had gotten her dressed and out of the house.

She turned the corner and walked down the hall. 67, 68….there it was, room 69. His room. She allowed herself a brief smile at the number before she remembered why she was there.

She knocked on the door and heard a raspy “Come in.”

When she walked in her eyes flew to his immediately. She saw shock, then happiness and then sorrow, the last is what settled on his face. “What can I do for you?”

“I was actually hoping I could ask you a few questions about…about my mother.” The last part was whispered and Spike looked at her as if she was retarded.

“Why don’t you ask her yourself?”

“It’s impossible at the moment.” She didn’t like the way he was looking at her, as if she where some dumb blond.

“And why’s that?”

“Because stone slabs can’t talk back.”

Good, she had shocked him. Only it wasn’t good, she had wanted some form of joy out of putting him in his place, instead she felt only sadness.

He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again they where shining. Buffy couldn’t tell if it was from the med’s he was on or from trying not to cry.

“I’m very sorry to hear that, your mom was a lovely woman. One of the nicest people I’ve ever met.”

Buffy used no words to acknowledge his sympathy, instead she gave him a slight nod.

“Do you mind?” She pointed to the vacant seat next to his bed.

“Of course not, now what was it exactly you wanted to know? I’m pretty tired and I don’t know how much longer I can stay awake.”

This was in fact true but it wasn’t the only reason he wanted her gone. In his mind the memories of the love they had shared was still fresh. And honestly, he didn’t even know if he liked this version of Buffy. She was too….real. He almost laughed at his own thought. Of course she was real, but maybe that’s where the problem lay. When the woman in his life where real they tended to hurt him, leave him, break his heart. At least he could control his dreams, make the woman in them love him. Real life was a bitch. He sighed and looked up into her eyes. They where as beautiful as the ones he had imagined, if not more.

She shifted her eyes, doing her best to avoid his penetrating gaze. It was as if he could look into your soul without even realising it.

“How did you know her?” Buffy choked out after a moment.

Spike smiled and seemed to lose himself in the memory as he spoke. “I was being a real sod at a coffee shop, the one on the corner of Hill street.”

Buffy nodded, she knew the place.

“There was no where else to sit and she offered me the empty chair at her table. We began to talk, she loved you very much. Couldn’t help but smile whenever she mentioned you, there was so much pride in her voice.”

Buffy bit back her tears as she continued to listen, her mom was the only one who had always encouraged her to do what she had to in life to be happy.

“She invited me over to dinner but I couldn’t make it.” He said with an apologetic shrug towards his head. “I overslept.”

Buffy couldn’t help it, she snorted. The second she did her hand flew to her mouth and her skin turned a bright shade of crimson. Spike chuckled lightly, she was adorable. He’d give her that at least.

After a moment Buffy lowered her hand and looked at him, though still not in the eyes. “Was she…she liked to try and…..what I mean is…”

He smiled. “Was she trying to hook us up? No.” he lied, he didn’t want her to develop fake feelings for him out of some subconscious idea that it would make her mother happy.

She smiled softly and stood. “Thank you so much for your time Mr. Calendar.”

“Please, call me Spike.”
Realization dawned on her then. “You sent the flowers to her.” At his nod, “They where lovely.”

“So was she.”

Buffy turned to walk away and noticed he was starting to drift off to sleep.

“Goodnight Spike.”

The only answer she received was the soft snores coming from him. She smiled and sat back down. Out of habit her fingers began to run through his hair, he would need to bleach it again soon she realised. The roots where showing pretty badly. She came out of her reverie when she heard him moan softly. When she looked down she saw a smirk on his face. The same smirk he had worn when she had given him the sponge bath…..

“Oh my god” Buffy gasped and jumped up. ‘What a perv.’ Her inner voice added, causing Buffy to giggle before heading out of the room.




Well there it is, I hope you guys like it. There is gonna be some angst but I decided for not too much. I suspect that you guys would like it better that way anyway but if I’m wrong let me know….i can make it very angsty lol. Teasing, but keep in mind there will be angst and things will be going slowly between them (emotionally at least :) )

Please let me know what you thought xxx

Special GREAT BIG THANX to the following, without you guys i'd be crying my heart out.....seriously lol!
Melissa g, Caitie, Shelly, MarstersGirl13, Moonorchid, Blazing Fire, BuffyandSpikeForever, Annie, Beasleysmom, DK, Blondiebear, MidnightGirl, Daisy, Mariana, CordyKitten, Spufette, Raven, Bint, Crystal Pegasus, Brat, Flibble, theladyofspike. Thanx to all of you for reviewing the last chapter, im off to respond to them right now. I LOVE YOU GUYS AND YOU ALL KICK ASS!!!XXX




Buffy sat at home at huffed for what was probably the 13th time in the last 5 minutes. It had been about a month since she had worked. She was on call now for the hospital, the nursing shortage complete she only had to be there for the comatose, of which there was none. It was okay since she was still getting a pretty nice base pay, but she was bored to tears. She’d cleaned the house the day before from top to bottom. She’d even gutted out the guest room that hadn’t been touched in years. The only room she hadn’t touched was her mother’s, she still couldn’t go in there. The only thing different about the house in the past month was the couch. She had given the old one to charity, she couldn’t sit on it, not after she had found her mom there.

She decided to head out to the pharmacy for a few things she needed. Toothpaste, floss, tampons, all the stupid things a woman (or a very strange man) needed to be hygienic.

Walking down the street she passed a group of teenage guys who whistled at her. She gave them a smile and kept walking, her ego nice and full. She loved that she still got attention sometimes. She was wearing a pale yellow sundress that hung to mid-thigh and it was strapless. With beige sandals and her hair in pig-tails she knew she most likely looked younger then her 24 years but she liked it that way. When she was 30 she hope she could pass for mid-twenties.

She walked in to the local ‘Jean-Coutu’ and picked up everything she needed. She was about to head out when she thought of something.

She walked down the hair product aisle and snatched up a few packs of bleach. ‘Me thinks I’ve found something to do today’ she thought to herself happily while the clerk rang up her bill.







37. 37 fucken’ games of solitaire just today. Spike was losing his mind. He hadn’t had any visitors since Buffy had come by, it wasn’t surprising though since he didn’t know anyone.

He had given a lot of thought to his first reaction of her. It was biased and it wasn’t fair to her, he knew this. That didn’t mean he could help resenting her just a l’il bit though. The bint had been on his mind before the accident, before he’d dreamed up his version of her. The only problem was this. Now that he’d dreamed up the perfect girl for him, borrowing her face for it of course, he didn’t think anyone else could compare. How could they really? His girl was a fairytale princess and real girls weren’t! He sighed and shot the cards of his lap, smiling wickedly when they scattered all over the floor. He buzzed for the nurse and cackled gleefully just before she entered. It was one of his passions to torment her.

When she walked in and saw the mess she turned red.

“Sorry Harmony, I dropped my cards by mistake.”

“Sure you did.” She mumbled. Truth be told she irritated him. The first day she had come in to check out his healing she had hit on him hard core and it had turned him off. Not that the nurse/patient fantasy wasn’t one of his fave’s but this bird was worse then the scarecrow from the wizard of Oz. Spike started to hum the tune to ‘If I only had a brain’ loudly and she left the room without saying a word, but tossing his cards in the trash as she did.

“Bloody hell.” Spike said out loud and threw himself back onto the pillows. He closed his eyes and sighed. Life sucked when you only had half your body to use and where stuck in a hospital for the next 2 weeks. The casts where coming off next week, the Dr. told him that if everything had healed properly he could have an early leave but if not he’d have to stay an extra 7 days. Spike crossed the fingers on his good hand and asked God to help him get the fuck out of there.

He was about to do the only thing that helped pass the time, whack it of course, when a cheerful blond burst through his door.

He couldn’t help the smile that came to his face. “Hey there. Come to keep a desperate man company?” he asked hopefully.

“Only if you’re willing to keep a desperate girl busy.”

“Deal.” He said with a laugh. “What’s in the bag?”

Buffy laughed. He sounded like an excited child. She pulled out the contents and held them out before him. He made a gasp and his hand flew to his heart.

“For me?”

Buffy nodded. “For you, if you’re up for it that is.” She teased.

“I’m up for anything you got baby.” He teased back until he realised what he’d just said and they both broke into awkward laughter.

“Anyway, how do you wanna do this?”

Spike hopped out of the bed and sat in the chair. “Is this okay? I just don’t wanna get toxins on my blankets.”

Buffy nodded and pulled out a pair of gloves and a mixing bottle out of the bag. “Sure, but there’s one condition you have to agree to before I do this for you. And if I where you I’d take it Spike cause your roots are awful.”

She had to bite back the smile that was trying to surface when the look of faux-hurt crossed his face. “Oi pet, I’ve got feelings ya’ know! So what do I have to do?”

Buffy took a deep breath and went for it. “Tell me about yourself.”

Spike had seen the journals lying on his table the day after he’d woken up and he wasn’t stupid. “You read almost everything Buffy, what else do you wanna know?” He was a little pissed still that she had read through his journals, it was hard for him to share ‘William’ with the world and Buffy had ‘met’ him without his permission. Granted he was glad she had, he may not be awake if it wasn’t for that.

“I did read your books, I’m sorry if that bugs you but I had to try everything I could.” At Spike’s nod of understanding she continued. “But it ends when Cecily hurt you. What happened after that? What changed you into Spike?”

He didn’t answer at first but still she started to rub the bleach into his hair, moving her fingers gently through it.

“Do you mind if we save that for another time kitten? It’s hard to talk about and I don’t know you that well yet.” He hoped she would understand and she did.

“Sure, no problem. Sorry I brought it up.” She said softly.

Spike reached behind him and squeezed her arm gently. “Don’t be, it means you care when you don’t have to. I appreciate it very much….. Why don’t you tell me about what it was like having me as a patient? I’m sure I was a pain in the ass even though I was out for the count.” he said with a chuckle.

Buffy laughed. “Aside from a ‘small problem’ I had you where perfect.” ‘Small my ass’ Buffy told herself when she remembered his erection the day she had been bathing him, she thanked the heavens his back was to her and he couldn’t see the blush that grazed her face. “The hardest thing was finding out about you since you didn’t know anyone here, but once I reached your old landlord he gave me all I needed to wake your lazy ass up.”

“HEY. M’not lazy I was comatose.” he defended.

“Same difference.” Buffy giggled out.

He growled playfully and Buffy froze for a second. Somehow he had made that animalistic sound the single, most sexiest thing she’d ever heard. She shivered and continued to work her fingers over his scalp.

“Cold Buffy? I have a sweater in my bag next to the bed if you need it luv’.”

“No, but thank you anyway.” ‘God he’s sweet.’

“Is it working? It doesn’t burn at all.”

“I added some sweet n’ low to the mix, takes out the sting.”

“You’re a goddess.”

“I know.”

“A conceited one.”

“I know.”

Neither one could see the smile on the others face but instinctively they knew it was there. There was a moment where nothing was said between them, both just enjoying the silence between the friendship they where starting to build, slowly but surely.

He bit his lip. “You look very beautiful today, I should have told you when you came in.” he said, almost in a whisper. And he had wanted to but the fear of scaring her away had held his tongue. She looked like a goddess. The way the dress clung to her every curve and flowed a little just after the waist. She was gorgeous, he doubted that she knew it though, she didn’t seem the type to.When he didn’t get an answer he thought that maybe she hadn’t heard him but a soft “Thank you” came a minute later.

“All done.” She said excitedly a few moments later, breaking the silence that had hung comfortably between them.

He struggled to his feet and gave her a smile when she steadied him and helped him to the bathroom right outside his door.

“I think I got it from here ya?” he asked with a cheeky smile when she had went to follow him inside.

She blushed and looked down. “Um ya, ill wait in there.” She said and pointed to his door. He smiled and clicked the door shut behind him as Buffy went and sat down, waiting for him to come out.

When she heard a noise and looked up her hand flew to her mouth and she tried to stop her giggles but to no avail.

Spike growled. “I forgot my towel.”

He was dripping wet. The water had run down from his hair to his face and from there to his chest.

“Laugh it up princess.” he said as a smirk lit his face.

‘Uh-oh’ Buffy had time to think before he shook his head like a dog, sending water flying…..all over her.

She gasped and looked up, anger the first thing on her mind, but when she saw his puppy-eyes and with his hair all wild and curly like that anger turned into humor and they both broke into laughter.

She grabbed the towel from his bag and walked over to him. She started to pat him dry, she didn’t even realise she was doing it until his hand encircled hers to stop the motions.

“Buffy?”

“Sorry, must be habit or something.” she muttered, embarrassed.

He lifted her chin with his finger and for the first time in a while she looked into his eyes.

“Thank you.” he whispered.



Well guys let me know what you think and I promise the next chap will have an interesting turn…..:)

Hey guys, I got into a fight with my bf tonight and I thought ‘What can make me feel better?’ The answer I gave myself was more reviews of course and a smut scene lol. The smut scene I can take care of myself :) but ill need you guys for the reviews, so please please leave one.

Buffy rubbed her eyes tiredly and yawned as she slid beneath her covers. It had been a long day so far. She’d gone to L.A to pick up some old things from her fathers house. He hadn’t been there but she’d had the key on her. Tomorrow she would go to see Spike and she found herself looking forward to it. She hadn’t seen him in a few days and she found herself looking forward to it. The way he smiled made her feel like smiling, it was contagious. The way his eyes crinkled at the corners, the way his lips twitched right before he smirked, the way he looked at her when she spoke. It was as if her words where the most important thing he could be listening to. She had been by to visit him frequently over the last week, his casts where coming off tomorrow and she wanted to be there nice and early to see the happiness on his face. And with those thoughts on her mind she drifted off to sleep.


Spike lay quietly on his bed, pretending to sleep as one of the nurses checked his chart. When the door clicked shut behind her he jumped from the bed. One of the younger Dr’s had come by to see him today and Spike hadn’t been able to hide his painful erection in time. The l’il blue robe he had slept in (courtesy of the hospital) didn’t leave much to the imagination. The Dr. had merely raised his eyebrow and continued with his questions.

When he had left Spike had tried to take care of himself but the interruptions where too frequent. The only joy he’d had was tormenting Harmony again. Just when he thought he’d lose his mind the Dr. had returned and without a word had slipped a videocassette under Spike’s pillows and set up a v.c.r for him. He left Spike after that and Spike had practically torn his pillow apart to see what he’d been ‘gifted’. When he read the title he groaned and sent a silent thank you to Dr. Charles Gunn.

‘God bless you Dr.’ he thought as he put in ‘Blond Nurses go wild’ and pressed play. Taking the remote back to the bed with him (in case he had to shut the t.v off quickly) he leaned back against the pillows and peeled the robe off. He hated clothes anyway, preferred to sleep in the nude.

A sly grin broke onto his face when he noticed a resemblance between Nurse Candy and his Buffy. ‘My Buffy?’ he asked and shook his head, clearing the thought and storing it away for further analysing. Right now he had a job to do, a very big job. He didn’t know when the characters on the screen became him and his new female friend but they had.

Buffy walked into the room with a stethoscope dangling between her cleavage. She wore a white skin tight nurses outfit (the kind you see in Sex shops that is) made of silk. It had spaghetti straps and it barely had enough material to cover her ass. And what an ass it was. She looked down at her clipboard and smiled saucily at him, her hazel eyes shining with intent. The blood red lipstick she had on brought attention to her luscious lips and Spike felt himself get hard.

“Why hello Mr. Spike, I’ll be your nurse tonight. The sheet says that you have a problem, a big one.” She added with a wink.

She began to sway her hips and run her hand over her breasts as she continued to look him in the eyes. “I’m a specialist in BIG problems.”

“Is that right now pet? In that case maybe you should take a look.”

She sauntered over and stopped at the foot of his bed, grabbing the metal bar in front of it. She turned her back towards him and bent backwards. He crawled towards her and captured her lips in a passionate kiss, causing them both to moan. She whirled around to face him and peeled off her dress. She stood there in her matching white ‘fuck me’ boots
And white lace thong. The panties stood no chance and his hand lashed out to tear them off. Once she was naked (except for the boots, they where to hot to take off) she stripped him down expertly. She lowered him back onto the bed and licked her way down to his ‘problem’. Her eyes widened at the close up view and he smirked as he grabbed a fist-full of hair and guided her mouth to his cock.

She took in as much as she could and grabbed his ass with her free hand. The other was being used to pump him in time with her mouth as she sucked him.

“Fuck ya, come on Buffy baby…..”

At his words she increased the pace of her blow job, bobbing up and down rapidly and swallowing at the same time.

The feel of her throat muscles clenching his cock along with the heat of her mouth had him shooting his seed in no time.

She licked him clean and stood up gave him a wink and left the room.


When Spike opened his eyes (lazily and only half way) he broke into a grin. “Well that’s interesting” he said to the empty room before he shut off the t.v and drifted off to sleep finally satiated.

Thanx to shelly, Moonorchid, DK, MidnightGirl, Uncagedmuse/Rae, MarstersGirl13 blondiebear, Jess, Daisy, Stine, Pam, Megan, Spufette, Caitie, Raven, Beasleysmom, Brat, Ashly, CordyKitten, Crystal Pegasus, Bint, Annie, Brittany.
This ones for you guys so enjoy. Thanx so much for the reviews and ill respond to them when I have some extra time. I love y’all :)


Please let me know what you thought....xxx

Thanx so much to all those who left reviews, ill catch up in the next chap and give you guys a proper thank you XXX



Buffy walked into the hospital and headed right to Spikes room. She couldn’t stop the smile from lighting her face, it had been there since she had woken up. She couldn’t wait to see him out and about. She knew it was gonna be priceless.

Just then a figure dove at her and picked her up, spinning her in the air. Her scream had turned into giggles when she’d noticed who it was. Spike, walking, standing Spike.

“Oh my god this is great.” she squealed.

“In’it though pet?” he said with a laugh and placed her down right in front of him. He put his arm around her shoulder and together they walked back to his room in companionable silence.

When Buffy walked in she gasped. All his things, which was really only 2 duffel bags of clothes and a suitcase of heavy things where on the bed and packed up. One day when they had been talking he had told her where he had been staying and she’d gone right away to pick up his things from the motel. He had been lucky that the manager was a nice man and had put his things in storage instead of shooting it all out.

“What’s going on Spike?” she asked, fighting back tears. “You going back to England now?”

Spike saw her shining eyes and looked at her with a small smile. “No Buffy I’m not, there’s nothing for me there.”

“And what do you have here?” she asked with curiosity.

“I think I have a friend ya?”

Buffy sniffled and nodded her head. “Ya Spike, you do.” She said and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug.

When they’d cleared out his room and loaded Buffy’s car she turned to him while she revved her engine. “Where to then?”

He shrugged his shoulders, “The closest motel I suppose.”

Buffy bit her lip and made a silent decision. She drove for about a half an hour before pulling up to a house. Spike hadn’t spoken a word since he’d told her where to go but when he saw the address, “Buffy pet? What are we doing here?”

“Welcome to the Hotel California, such a lovely place.” She joked while singing the popular song.

“Such a lovely face.” Spike answered back but there was no humor in his tone. Buffy swallowed and he continued, “I cant stay here pet.”
“And why not?”

“Because I wouldn’t want to take advantage of you.” He admitted honestly.

Buffy chewed her lip. She knew he would have reservations about staying here but she had her reasons for wanting him. She bit back her pride and started to talk.

“Spike, you wouldn’t be imposing. I’ve been lonely here, without her.” She didn’t have to explain who ‘her’ was, they both knew. “There’s an extra room that no one is using, it’s pretty decent. We have cable, 2 bathrooms, a nice backyard with a pool…..” She stopped talking for a second. She looked him in the eyes and smiled. “Plus you’re the only real friend I have here and it would be nice to have you close, plus I wont have one of my friends staying at a bug infested motel.”

Spike stared at her in awe. How could he be the only friend she had here? She was amazing, people should be lining up at her door to be around her.

When he looked into her eyes he could see the hope in them. “Right then. Let’s get me moved in ya?”

She clapped her hands happily and hopped out of the car, causing Spike to laugh. She was like a child and for some reason he loved that about her. Once his bags where on the porch and she was unlocking the doors he turned to her. “You know I’ll be paying rent right?”

Buffy waved her hand to dismiss the thought but he grabbed it gently. “I’m serious pet, I won’t be living off you. S’not my style.”

Buffy sighed and pulled her hand away. “There’s no rent here Spike, the house has been paid for in full and my dad takes care of the property taxes now. It’s a free ride for the both of us.” She explained.

Spike shrugged, “So then I’ll pay the groceries and phone and cable bills.”

“Spike it’s okay, you don’t have too…” she had more to say but he cut her off before she had a chance to finish.

“Buffy, you’ve been taking care of me, let me take care of you how I can okay? It would mean the world to me if you wouldn’t argue this, cause I’m gonna do it anyway.”

She nodded her head, “Okay then Spike, and thank you.”

He bowed his head slightly and they walked into the house. He thanked god it wasn’t how he had imagined it cause that would have been too creepy. It had a very homey feel to it and he had to admit he was impressed by the look of it, the whole place seemed immaculate. And then she showed him the kitchen.

“Bleedin’ fuck Buffy, what happened here?”

She giggled and shrugged her shoulders. “I made breakfast.”

He looked around, the sink had pots and pans filled to the top, the table had dishes covering it, there was flour on the floor by the pantry and was that eggs on the wall?

“I see.”

“Well I never said I was a chef.” She pouted.

‘God she looks sexy when she does that’ “Well good, because then you’d be a liar.”

She gasped and smacked him on the chest playfully. “Well I’ll show you where your room is and while you unpack I’ll tidy up.”

“Are you sure? I can help you clean up.”

“No no, it’s my mess. I’ll take care of it you get settled in.

“Thanx luv’.”

She led him to his room and flew down the stairs. He didn’t know why until he opened the door. She had really outdone herself.

The walls where painted a deep red and the ceiling and window wall where a cream color. Their was red silk sheets and pillow cases on the bed complimented with a black comforter. There was a cream throw rug at the base of the bed. All the furniture was painted a glossy black and the floors where hardwood. He let out a whistle and started to unpack. He was done about an hour later and went downstairs to see Buffy washing dishes. He grabbed a dishtowel and stood next to her as he began to dry the dishes.

“You didn’t decide today that you wanted me to stay here did you?”

“Nope.”

“You didn’t have to furnish the room and do all that just to impress me.”

“I didn’t do it to impress you, I did it to make you comfy stupid head.”

He looked at her and laughed. “Did you just call me stupid head? Are we in grade three?”

She stuck out her tongue and handed him a dish. When they finished Buffy led him to the living room and popped in a movie after ordering some food.
Neither one noticed but they had seemed to slip into the domestic role pretty easily together, but it seemed so natural that neither one questioned it.

“So what are we gonna watch?”

“The Princess Bride.” Buffy answered smugly.

“God help me.” Spike said and made the sign of the cross.

Buffy laughed. “It’s your initiation Spike, take it like a man.”

“Fine, but we can watch my movie next.” He said with a smug smile.

Buffy gulped. “What would that be?”

“Monty Python, the search for the holy grail.”

‘Damn it’ Buffy thought to herself. The movie began to play and Buffy snuggled into him, resting her head on his shoulder. “This is my favorite movie.” She sighed. Spike smiled down at her and put his arm around her.

Both of them ignored the shivers that the others touch sent through them, it was just friendly shivers right? What else could it be?


Please let me know what you thought and i promise the longer chap's start with the next one.

First off im so sorry I haven’t been posting as much as usual but ive been pretty down lately. I dunno why im blue but I am very sorry! I’ll try to post more often as of next week. Secondly wow, you guys are incredible, the support you’re all giving me for this is just wow. So heres a special thanx to those who have been kind enough to let me know what you think. Tammydevil666, Brat, Annie, MarstersGirl13, Saltygoodness, Flibble, MidnightGirl, BuffyandSpikeForever, Shelly, Moonorchid, Mariana, CordyKitten, Caitie, Neo, Spuffette, Neo, Daisy, Bint, Beasleysmom, Alisson, Crystal Pegasus, Pam, Uncagedmuse/Rae, Opal, Blondiebear, Melissa g, Devin…
YOU GUYS KICK ASS!!!!XXX





Buffy woke up to the tv’s blue screen. When had she fallen asleep? She remembered watching the Princess Bride and she remembered Spike putting in that Mounted cobra movie, or something like that.

She yawned and went to stretch but stiffened when she felt something behind her. She turned her head a little bit and smiled to herself. She was lying against Spike, his arm draped loosely over her waist. He looked so adorable when he was sleeping she couldn’t help but stare. Those amazing blue eyes of his flittered into her minds eye and she sighed. A girl could definitely drown in those. With his face relaxed her reminded her of an angel. The soft sound of his breathing, his perfect lips, his drool-worthy body (ya, she’d noticed). When it all came down to it, he was a god. She snuggled back into his warmth and closed her eyes again. His arm pulled her closer while he slept and she let it, what was the harm in snuggling with a friend right?


When Spike woke up the birds where already chirping. God he hated those loud l’il assholes. A bloke couldn’t get a decent sleep with-what the bloody hell? He looked down and noticed Buffy pressed against him, a slight smile played on her sleeping features.

‘She’s so beautiful’ Spike realised in shock. He’d known she was a pretty bint before this morning sure, he wasn’t blind, but the way the rays of sun filtered in through the windows and danced on her face made him come to terms with just how breathtaking she was. Just then a small whimper sound came from her mouth and her brow furrowed slightly. Instinctively he held her tighter and started to talk to her softly.

“It’s okay kitten, Spike’s got you, shhhh now pet.”

It warmed his heart that his words seemed to ease her and bring back the smile that had been there earlier. He didn’t know how long he sat there watching her as she dreamt but when she started to come to he felt himself disappointed. What he wouldn’t give for another 10 minutes of just holding her.

She cracked open an eye and looked up at him. “Hey you.”

“Hey yourself. Sleep well?”

“Better then I have in a long time” she admitted and stretched out, Spike winced and prayed to god she couldn’t feel the affect her wiggling had on him.

He cleared his throat. “Want some breakfast luv’?”

“Waffles?” she asked and batted her eyes up at him.

He laughed, she looked so fucken adorable when she was trying to get what she wanted. “Anything for my Buffy.”
His comment shocked them both and neither one spoke for a moment. When she opened her mouth he braced himself for some sort of lecture or put down, what he got was unexpected.

“I’m…I’m your Buffy?”

She asked the question with such vulnerability that he couldn’t help but run his hand through her hair, brushing away the stray locks that had fallen in front of her face.

“Of course.”

Buffy smiled brightly at him. He had no idea what it meant to her to hear that. She’d always thought she could never compare to the one he had imagined and now here he was, saying she was his. She leaned in and gave him a small kiss on the cheek, “Thank you” she whispered before jumping off the couch, leaving a stunned Spike still lying there. As she headed to the stairs to go and change she turned around and gave him a coy smile. “I’ll be done in 20 minutes, my waffles better be waiting.” She said with a giggle and ran up the steps.

“Minx” he shouted when he snapped out of his ‘Buffy kissed me’ daze. He got up and went to the kitchen, more light-hearted then he’d been in a long while.







“This has to be the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth.” Buffy moaned while shoving another forkful of the waffles he had made down her throat.

“I can guarantee I’ve got something better to go in there.”

That did it. She choked. Hard coughs raked her body and she tried to give him the evil eye but it wasn’t working as well as she hoped it would, he was still smirking like a pig.

“Spike really, not at the dinner table PLEASE!”

“Listen pet, I don’t know why your mind was in the gutter, I suspect it was because you want my tight hot body. What I was referring to was the fruit salad I made, it’s on the counter.”

Buffy’s eyes travelled to the bowl on the counter and low and behold, there was a fruit salad in it. A blush rose to her cheeks. “Um…it does look good, and for the record I don’t want your tight hot body.”

“But you admit it’s hot and tight?”

Buffy was on the verge of a major lecture about how she didn’t but then she threw that idea to the wind. If he wanted to play that game she could too!

“First off Spike, you’re Mr Innuendo man so don’t play as if you were just talking about fruit in a bowl, secondly, you do have a hot body.”

She smirked at the look of shock that passed over his usually smug looking face before continuing. “And do you know why I’m okay admitting that?”

Spike only shook his head ‘no’.

“Because I know you want my body too.”

“Where did you get that crazy idea kitten?” he asked, trying to regain his hold on top in this conversation.

“Where did I get that idea Spike? Well it was pressing into my stomach when I woke up this morning.”

Bloody hell, she had noticed. He went to retaliate but she had already left the room and was headed for the shower.

She called down from the top of the stairs. “Spike I’m gonna make sure there’s only cold water left for you okay? I think you need it more then warm.”

The door slammed closed after her final taunt and Spike moaned, leaning his head on the table.

Just friends his ass!



Please let me know what you thought!!!xxx

Special thanx to: Azzy, Shelly, Flibble, Allison, Melissa g, Spikes_niblet, Blondiebear, BuffyandSpikeForever, Bernardette, Daisy, Beasleysmom, MidnightGirl, Brat, Mariana, Chiris, CordyKitten, Spufette, Heaven, MartsersGirl13, Aribelle, Caitie, Jessica x 3 :), Crystal Pegasus, Stine, Devin. You guys kick ass and this one is def for you, thanx so much for all your wicked support! XXX



The telephone rang and Buffy rushed for it. She’d been bored off her ass all day. When she’d come out of the shower
Spike was nowhere to be seen. “Hello?” she answered breathlessly.

“Buffy?”

“Willow? EEEk I haven’t heard from you in like forever!” Buffy gushed, excited that her friend was on the line. She’d met the shy red head in L.A and they’d become quick friends, keeping their friendship alive when Buffy had come back to Sunnydale, Willow had been at the funeral but she hadn’t seen her friend since.

Willow laughed happily. “I know but I have some good news. I’m on my way down to Sunnydale right now for some catch up time with my best friend.”

“OH MY GOD!!! Wills that is so great to hear. I’m losing my mind. We can totally hit the Bronze tonight and have a girls night out.”

“Sounds like a plan Buffy. I should be there in the next hour or so and then we can head there, I’m already good to go in what I have on.”

“Great, I’ll start getting ready and I’ll see you soon. Love ya’ Wills.”

“Love ya too Buffy, bye.”

When Buffy hung up the phone she let out a feminine squeal. She briefly pondered where Spike was, he’d been going out a lot lately and not telling her where. Pushing the thought away Buffy attacked her closet.

‘What to wear? I wanna look sexy tonight. Not that there’s a point since I won’t be seeing Spike- WHOA! Where did that come from? I can look sexy for other guys, it’s not like I belong to Spike….even though he said I’m his’ she remembered with a smile, subconsciously grabbing her outfit from the hangers.

She looked down at the clothes in her hands and grinned. Black leather pants, red leather halter top. Oh ya, tonight was going to be fun.

She applied some black eyeliner to her eyelids and a dark red lipstick to her mouth. She decided to curl her hair a little bit and wear it down, guys seemed to love that look. Something about long blonde hair just seemed to give the opposite sex immediate hard-on’s. It was great!

She put on her black 4 inch sandals just as the bell rang. She didn’t know how but she managed to run down the stairs with them on. When she opened the door she felt her heart sink just a l’il bit, she had been semi-hoping to see Spike standing there but it was Willow. When her friend hugged her though her mood went straight back to excited and the girls chatted as they got into willows car, catching up on the way to the club.

The music was blaring and everyone seemed to be having a great time. Willow and Buffy had matching smiles on their faces as they grabbed a drink and headed to a vacant table.

Buffy saw willow looking around and called her friend on whatever she was holding back. “Okay Wills, spill it!”

“Spill what?” Willow asked, but by the way she wouldn’t look Buffy in the eyes the blond knew she had the red-head busted.

“Why are you really here? I know it’s partly to see me but come on. Who did you think you where fooling with the whole ‘I just wanted to come and see you’ phone call an hour before you got to my little town?”

Willow laughed, leave it to Buffy to call her on her bullshit. “Okay well first off I REALLY did want to see you, secondly I MAY have been coming here anyway…..I..I kinda met someone in L.A. He’s in a band that’s based here and he invited me down to watch them.”

“Willow you sly bitch, you didn’t tell me you where seeing someone. What’s he like?”

“Well his name is Oz and he’s amazing. He’s laid back and easy to talk to. He’s not like most musicians you see and hear about, he’s honest and sweet. I really like him.”

Buffy patted her friends hand, “I’m so happy for you Wills, it’s about time you got over That Ken guy, he was so in the closet.”

Willow laughed. “You know what? I think he was, I mean how bitchy could one guy be? And the whole self-absorbed thing was just too much. Wanna know a secret Buffy?”

Buffy leaned in her head and nodded. “His full name was Kennnedy” Willow admitted with a laugh, it was contagious and soon the two girls where so absorbed in making fun of their ex’s they almost didn’t hear the band announced.

“Oh my god, there he is!” Willow said nervously as the bassist spotted her and gave a little wave.

Buffy didn’t hear her though, didn’t even notice the bassist in fact. All she noticed was the lead guitarist.

“Buffy, Buffy?” Willows voice broke through her daze.

“Huh?”

“Did you see him?”

Buffy flicked her eyes to the bassist and looked at Willow. “He’s definitely of the cute Willow but what the fuck is my roommate doing on stage with him?”


Willow gasped. Oz had told her over the phone that he’d found somebody to fill in on lead guitar and vocals until the regular guy felt better, he was out with laryngitis or something like that. But Willow had never imagined that it would end up being Buffy’s roommate.

“I didn’t know Buffy. All I knew was that someone was replacing the other guy for now…..you never told me your roommate was drool-worthy by the way.”

Buffy continued to gape at Spike. “But he doesn’t even sing or play anything Willow, he would have told me if he could.” She mused.

As if on cue the band started up.

“I walk a lonely road
The only one I that have ever known
Don't know were it goes
But its home and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Blvd. of broken dreams
Were the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone”
Willow leaned in and whispered to Buffy “From where I’m sitting he can sing and pretty damn good too!”
Buffy only nodded her head in agreement and let the sound of his voice wash over her. He WAS good, really good. Why hadn’t he told her? She was sure he had a reason though and she wasn’t mad, just curious. How could she be mad at him when his voice alone made her want to melt.

”My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find
Till then I'll walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh”

Buffy had kept her eyes glued to him the second she had seen him and now he had finally seen her too. His face registered shock first and then something else..happiness? Was he glad that she was there?

”I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And were I walk alone

Read between the lines of what's
Fucked up and every things all right

Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a.….

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find
Till then I'll walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh

I walk this empty street
On the Blvd. of broken dreams
Were the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a….

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I'll walk away!”

The song stopped and the crowd went crazy. Buffy saw Spike and Oz talk for a moment and then Oz announced a break for 20 minutes. The two men sauntered off the stage and headed right for the girls table.

Buffy could almost hear her heart pounding as Spike waked up to her. She barely acknowledged Oz except to introduce herself to him before she turned back to Spike.
They walked outside so that Spike could have a smoke and they could talk in private.

“Well kitten, what did you think?”

“I think you should have told me you played and you sang.”

Spike looked away, guilt flashing over his features. Buffy put her finger under his chin. “Spike I’m not mad, I think it’s great that you can do that, I think you where great. The song was touching.”

Spike gathered his courage and looked her in the eyes. “It was my song. I wrote it after I woke up from the accident. Oz liked it and asked if he could use it.”

Buffy was shocked. “You wrote that?”

He nodded his head.

“Spike that’s incredible, you have so much talent.” she gushed.

A smile lit his face then and Buffy thought she’d never seem him look so hot. “Why didn’t you tell me though?”

“I was scared to.” He admitted.

Buffy scrunched her nose up and tilted her head. Fuck she was adorable when she did that.
He decided to explain it to her.

“I don’t give a fuck what the people in there think of me Buffy, there nothing to me. But you- I care what you think kitten.”

“So I’m not nothing to you?”

He gave her a small smile and brushed some hair away from her face. Couldn’t she tell what he felt. He knew that physically they where both attracted to each other but couldn’t she see what he felt for her every time he looked at her? He definitely cared for her but he didn’t know what word he could use to describe the soddin’ emotion.

“No, you’re not nothing to me Buffy.”

She stepped a little bit closer to him, so that now their faces were only a few inches apart. “So what am I then?”

He knew she’d been drinking by the way her eyes where half glassy and he figured she wouldn’t remember this tomorrow so why not? He leaned in and breathed into her ear:

“You’re everything.”

And with that he walked back inside to go get ready for the next song, leaving Buffy standing there by herself. “So are you.” She whispered to the night air before walking back in.


Please let me know what you thought xxx

SPECIAL THANX TO:
Bernardette, beasleysmom, shelly, tina, MarstersGirl13, blondiebear, MidnightGirl, Uncagedmuse/Rae, Brat, Melissa g, Devin, Jessica, CordyKitten, chris, flibble, spufette, Heaven, Allison, Caitie, BuffyandSpikeForever.You guys are the
reason I posted this chap tonight and I love you all, I really can’t thank you guys enough, you really do kick ass!!!!


The band played for about another hour, Buffy and Willow both resting their heads in their hands, looking at the men on stage dreamily, not that they knew it showed on their faces though.


Buffy listened to the music while she thought. This whole Spike thing was getting crazy now. She’d been putting her emotions to the side for far too long. It had started out as the basic need for a friend nearby. He had known her mother a little and she loved that they could talk about her together. He was a really sweet guy. Compassionate, caring, funny, annoying but what guy wasn’t? He was also hot. The rest of the things she could deal with but it was the last that grated on her nerves every night. They would watch television together, talk, laugh, bicker playfully. And then they would go to bed. Well, Buffy would go to bed but not before she ‘fixed’ herself.

The man’s body was inhuman and she couldn’t be blamed for naughty thoughts now could she?

Buffy looked over at Willow and poked her friend to get her attention. Willow jumped a little and looked at Buffy, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry Buffy, I was kinda in my own world there.”
Buffy nodded to show her she understood. “ Do I look okay Wills?”

“If I was gay I’d do you.”

Buffy cracked up at that. Willow gay? It would have to be some kind of alternate dimension or something.

“Why?” the red head asked with curiosity.

Buffy gave her friend a smile that was bordering a leer. “ I don’t wanna sleep alone tonight.”

Willow bounced happily. “Are you talking about Spike? He is so yummy it’s not funny. And his voice makes me wanna….”

“Cum?” Buffy cut in when Willow couldn’t seem to say the word.

Willow gaped, she wasn’t used to Buffy being so forward about sex but she nodded her head. “Ya that’s the word.”

Both girls laughed and chatted about their plans for the night, well, Willow talked about hers and Buffy talked about her ‘work in progress’ plans. Neither girl noticed the band get off the stage or two of its members walking towards them until each guy grabbed ‘their’ girl from behind.

Buffy swallowed any reservations she’d had when she’d felt his strong arms wrap around her. Step 1 was already complete: get hammered, lose shy-ness. After all it would only be the 2nd guy she’d slept with, the first being Pike, her high-school sweetheart. Well he had been until senior year, when he’d burned down the gym and pinned it on her. Prick!

“Hey you.” Buffy purred and nuzzled Spike’s neck. Needless to say he was shocked but fuck, did he like it.

“You okay there princess?” he asked when he noticed all the empty glasses littering her table.

“I’m fine, can’t I be in a good mood?” she pouted.

‘Fuck she is so adorable when she does that” he mentally groaned. “Sure you can kitten, care to dance?”


He was no fool. He saw the way she’d been eyeing him on stage and had prayed to god that the raging hard on he was sporting could not be seen by the crowd. She was his kitten, and she was in heat.

“Love too stud.”

She grabbed his hands and led him to the dance floor, giving him a nice full of her swaying ass in the process. Spike winced, did it just get harder?

The beat was fast and the rhythm was great. Buffy brought him to the middle where it wasn’t so crowded and began to move to the beat.

Spike fought the urge to grope her as she bounced to the music, hands running through her hair. She was beautiful. He wouldn’t be able to deny his feelings for her after tonight, he realised. Things where already going down a path that was not of the platonic and for the first time since this friendship had started he found he didn’t care. He wasn’t scared of losing her as a friend anymore, he was scared of never having her as his.

Just then Buffy turned her back to him and he slid his hands to her waist, she pressed her ass up against his erection and began to grind against him slowly, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He took a deep breath. The things she could do to him was unfuckenbelievable. He started to slide his hands over the smooth expanse of her skin. The halter-top did little to cover her waist so he had plenty of room to explore. He saw her shiver and grinned to himself. He started to sway along with her, pushing him harder against him. He let one hand travel to the top of her pants and slid a finger just below the black leather.

She turned to him then and he could see the passion in her eyes, the same passion he was sure filled his.

She continued to grind against him but this time it was for her benefit. She could feel his erection pressing into her center and god help her, she wanted him right there. Fuck the fact that it was a crowded dance floor and that anyone could see, she needed release.

She wrapped one leg around his waist and she saw his eyes roll back. He picked her up in one motion and made his way to the back wall. Once there he urged her to wrap her free leg around him too and she willingly complied.

He ground into her and licked the skin on her neck, right below the ear.

Buffy thought she was going to explode. They hadn’t even kissed, he hadn’t even touched her under her clothes and she was going to cum. The feel of his dick rubbing in just the right way against her clit had her gasping and that thing he was doing with his tongue….lets just say she had plans for that talented thing later on.


Spike felt Buffy tense and moved his mouth directly over her ear. “That’s it baby, cum for me, come on I wanna feel you cum Buffy.”

Buffy felt her whole body stiffen as his words registered. He bit down on her shoulder (hard but not too hard) and that did it. Buffy pressed her face into his shoulder to try and soften the scream that tore from her lips as a rush of moistness hit her panties.

She looked up at him through glazed eyes a moment later and smiled when she saw the look of awe on his face.
He leaned in close and Buffy saw the fear in his eyes.
“What’s the matter Spike?”

“I’m afraid to kiss you” he admitted with a laugh and ran his hand nervously through his hair.

Buffy smiled, not out of humour but out of understanding. She knew what it felt like to not know where you stood with someone. Being physical with another person was one thing, but kissing someone tended to be more special, more intimate. He was asking if she wanted him or if she had just wanted to get off.

She closed the distance between them and pressed her lips to his softly at first, leaving it up to him to change the pace.
Spike explored her mouth with his lips for a short while, learning every curve and dip it had. Once he was satisfied with that he slowly ran his tongue over her bottom lip, causing her to moan and pull him closer to her. When her mouth opened he took the invitation and groaned at the feel of her tongue sliding over his.

When they finally broke away and looked into each others eyes no words where needed. They where headed home.

Please don’t hate me guys, there was plenty of Spuffy in this and that’s what the next chap is gonna be so please, please let me know what you think so far…….xxxx
If you leave one ill post tomorrow for sure…….i will anyway but please leave me reviews, they’re my legal form of crack lol!

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You guys are my life savers! This one is for you!!!! You perverts you ;), I LOVE IT! (if theres any serious typos please let me know, this fic is un-beta'd and im pretty tired :), thanx )


Buff faced the door of her house and was struggling frantically to get the keys out of her purse when all of a sudden she found herself pressed against the wall. Her hands automatically came up and she felt Spikes knee push her legs apart. He rubbed against her from behind and slid his hand up her top, squeezing her breasts gently. She moaned loudly and pushed her ass back against him, causing him to grunt.

He leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Can I take a taste kitten?”

She could only nod her head as he slid his hand down her pants and played with the short curls there for a moment. He lowered a single digit and dipped it between her folds. He had to squeeze his eyes shut. “You’re so bloody tight kitten, so hot” he hissed. He kept her pressed there as he withdrew his finger and brought it to his lips, licking it clean. “Fuck Buffy, you taste like honey” he moaned.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Where are those fucken keys….aha! Buffy mentally cheered herself when she finally grabbed them and stuck them in the door.

They had barely made it through when Spike kicked it closed behind them and lifted her into his arms, damsel style. Buffy giggled as he licked her neck and made his way up the stairs to her room. At the club she had been the one initiating things but on the way home he had taken over and it was wonderful.

He walked over to her bed and placed her down softly on it. “Undress for me baby.” He growled and Buffy shivered. It was less demanding and more of a plea so she obeyed, sliding her top off slowly, deliberately taunting him. Once it was off she started to work on her pants. First popping the button open and then sliding the zipper down. She giggled, he looked like he was gonna pass out.

“Minx” he whispered watching in awe as her beautiful breasts came into view along with the smooth expanse of her stomach. He swallowed hard, she was breathtaking and he hadn’t even seen all of her yet.

Once the zipper was fully down she wiggled out of the pants and tossed them aside. She leaned back against her pillows and winked at him. “Your turn Spike.”

He smirked at that. “Well you already seen my goodies princess what’s in it for me?”

Buffy laughed, he was talking about the times she’d had to bathe him. But he had been sleeping so it so didn’t count she reasoned. She spread her legs a little wider, showing off her perfectly trimmed pussy. “This.”

That was all she had to say and he was naked in a second. Buffy watched with hungry eyes as his shirt came off first, revealing those perfect abs that haunted her fantasies, the pale skin of his body was unflawed and his appearance took her breath away. Her eyes widened when his pants fell to the floor.

OH. MY. GOD……actually thank you god was more like it. If she’d thought he was perfect before then she had no idea what she could call him now…..she’d have to make up a word when she had the time, but right now, right now was about them.

“You’re gorgeous” she told him with a small smile, still in awe of him a little bit.

“And you’re beautiful” he answered back.

She beckoned to him with her finger to join her on the bed. He started to crawl up her and Buffy was aching for another sweet kiss, it was so close….wait, why did he stop?

“OH fuck Spike” she practically yelled. Okay she’d gotten her kiss, just not where she’d expected it. As his tongue flicked across her clit she put her hands on the back of his head, lifting off the bed a little bit.

“You like that kitten?”

“Oh fuck yes” she breathed heavily. Spike smirked, he loved the way she spoke, just like him.

He delved his tongue into her as his finger pinched her clit. She was already on the verge of cumming, he could feel it in the way she moved. He removed his finger from her clit and placed his mouth there instead. Inserting two fingers between her folds he began to pump into her quickly, his mouth keeping time with the pace.

Buffy didn’t know up from down at this point. Between the sensations his fingers where causing to course through her and the sucking that was making her jump she could die that instant and have no regrets.

Spike added another finger to his ministrations and it sent Buffy over the edge. He felt her walls clench around his digits in spasms and quickly replaced his fingers with his tongue yet again, lapping at her until she rode out the very last wave of what had been the best orgasm of her life……so far. His eyes rolled back as the honey taste that was distinctly hers flowed over his tongue. He could live off that.

When he finally raised his head his breath caught in his throat. She was spread out in front of him, her hair fanning her face and a slight sheen covered her body. She looked like an angel. His angel.

She opened her eyes and saw him staring at her, she pulled at his shoulders until he crawled all the way on top of her.

“That was incredible Spike”

“So were you pet.”

She smiled softly. “I didn’t do anything.”

“You didn’t have too.” He admitted shyly, looking at her through lowered lashes.

And that’s all it took. That nervous little look from him and the gates came down, allowing all the emotions she’d been hiding to flow freely.

Keeping her eyes locked on his she grasped his erection in her tiny hand and led it to her dripping entrance.

“I want you Spike.”

“And I need you Buffy.” He attacked her mouth with his, his kiss bruising her lips with the unrestrained passion it held. This wasn’t a dream, or part of the world he’d made up, this was real, and it was the best moment of his life.

As he slid into her slowly, allowing her to adjust to his length both blondes let out loud moans of pleasure. He raised himself on his forearms and began to pump into her gently. When she wrapped her legs around his waist and began to meet every one of his thrusts he could feel himself start to come undone.

“God Buffy, you feel so perfect baby…..i wanna hear you cum for me princess, I need to hear it.”

The words caused Buffy to stiffen, the sound of his voice, the feel of him filling her completely, it was all too much and as her inner walls began to quiver again she lost control. She lifted up and bit down on his shoulder, causing Spike to shudder. The pleasure/pain of it sent him over the edge along with her and as her walls milked his cock he shot his seed into her in fast thrusts. “Buffy…fuck…baby so good….unnnn” Buffy grunted and moaned along with him and when their bodies finally ceased to shake Spike rolled off her and pulled her close, so that she was lying on his chest.

“Buffy?”

“MMMmmmm?”
“Can I tell you that I love you or is it too soon?” he asked in a voice so low she almost hadn’t heard him.

She looked up and saw the fear in his eyes and remembered how bad Cecily had hurt him. Her heart swelled as she looked at the man she now shared a bed with and then it hit her. She wasn’t only sharing a bed, she was sharing her heart.

“You can say it.”

He kissed her lips lightly and looked deeply into her eyes, “Buffy, I love you.”

“I love you Spike” she answered and layed her head against his heart. It was beating fast and it made her smile, that she did that too him amazed her.

They drifted off to sleep like that, Spike holding his lover close and Buffy laying on him. Both knowing that it was okay to sleep, because now, well now they had tomorrow.


Please let me know what you thought….XXX

Many thanx to Blondiebear, Jessica, Opal, DK, Allison, Beasleysmom, Brat, Bernardette, Devin, MidnightGirl, Tina, Melissa g, MarstersGirl13, Flibble, Lacey, BuffyandSpikeForever, Daisy, Spufette, Heaven, CordyKitten and Chris. You guys are beyond kick ass and thank you all so much!



Buffy woke up and stretched, she had a killer headache but she wouldn’t move for the life of her. She was warm and safe and in Spike’s arms. Her eyes popped open wide and she giggled to herself. Man, had she been forward last night. She wouldn’t change it for the world though, not after the beautiful thing they had shared. And he’d told her he loved her, no, he’d asked if it was okay to say it before he did, she remembered. It brought a blush to her cheeks, he was so sweet and shy at times and infuriatingly blunt at others. He was a mystery and he was all hers. This caused a huge smile to light her face and she snuggled her head into his chest, cherishing the closeness they now had.

Last night had been simply wonderful and she couldn’t have dreamed up a better scenario if she’d tried. She’d have to call Willow later and apologize for just taking off but come on, it wasn’t her fault. Buffy had the sneaking suspicion that Willow hadn’t even really registered the lack of the blondes, not with Oz by her side. Buffy sighed happily, she was glad that her friend had found somebody and the guy seemed really sweet. But more importantly she was glad that she had somebody.

She looked up and smiled. Spike’s mouth was hanging open a little bit and he looked adorable. A shiver went through her when she thought of just what that mouth had done for her last night. Her smile turned into a smirk when she decided to return the favour.

Slowly so as not to wake him (it would be a hard thing to do since when he conked out he was dead to the world) she slid down the bed to his naked torso.

She eyed him appreciatively, ‘breakfast of champions’ she thought to herself as she took him into her mouth inch by inch. And this was no easy feet either, Spike had big hands and you know what they say about those. There was a good nine inches she had to take in.

She slid her mouth over his length and he groaned, still sleeping. Buffy had to fight the urge to laugh, he was still asleep. Oh well, he’d be pleased when he eventually came around to waking up. She started to suck harder and increased the pace as his hips began to move upwards ever so slowly.

When he began to moan Buffy’s eyes rolled back, fuck she loved that sound, it drove her crazy! Why had she waited for what seemed like forever (and inevitable) to do this? As her tongue licked around his head his eyes slowly began to open and his heart stopped for a moment. Was he still dreaming?

And a big no to that he realised when her tiny hand came up to hold his balls.

“Buffy, fuck that feels so good baby” he groaned loudly.

This only encouraged her to speed up her pace and before he could stop himself he came into her mouth and watched in awe as she swallowed down his seed greedily.

When she crawled back up to him he kissed her hard, not caring even after what had just happened.

“You tasted good” she said with a small smile.

He leaned his head back down on the pillows and drew her close.

“Good morning sweetheart.” ‘It’s gonna be a good day’









Buffy and Spike sat across from each other in the ridiculously priced Italian restaurant he had insisted on bringing his lady to.

Buffy was having the pasta napolitain (fancy talk for regular) and Spike was having the tortellini rosee.

The dinner was fabulous and they enjoyed a comfortable silence while they ate. When the dishes where cleared and dessert was on it’s way they looked into each others eyes.

“Spike?”

“Mmm kitten?”

“Why did you ask if you could tell me you love me?”

He sighed and fiddled with his napkin before making a decision and looking at her once again.

“Love is a strong thing Buffy. It can break you or it can make you the happiest person in the world. If you’re ready to hear it then it’s as beautiful a sound as laughter, but if you’re not it can be the most terrifying thing to hit your ears.”

Buffy thought it over and agreed but there was still something she had to ask. “So it didn’t have anything to do with Cecily and what happened?”

“A l’il bit” he admitted.

Buffy reached her hand across the table and held his. “I never would have done that to you.”
He smiled and they stared at each other in silence for a moment and then dessert was ‘delivered’ and they tore into it, if there was one thing Italians could make better then pasta it was dessert.





When they finally made it back home they flopped down on the couch, neither one had slept very long the night before and the long day had worn them out. With her head leaned on Spikes shoulders she asked “Spike, could you read me something you wrote?”

He looked down at her and smiled lovingly. He had never done that agin after what had happened with Cecily but Buffy wasn’t her was she? No, Buffy would listen and not mock him.

He closed his eyes and began

“It’s never easy is it, to let another person in,
To open up your weakness, to let them past the skin
The hurt, the fear, the grief, the pain,
The knowledge that who you were is not who you became
It makes it hard to show the world, the scars you have inside
The ones that go so deep that you’d sell your soul to hide
Mistakes where made and judgement was found wrong
Making pieces of a broken man that once was proud and strong
So you lock yourself away and then one day you find
You’ve made the perfect haven but it’s only in your mind
You try to make it back to the place from where you came
But with every older footstep closer you see it’s not the same
A spot that made you smile once has no meaning now
No more park bench where you took your first love vow
Friends that lived down the block now live miles away
And a parking lot replaced the park where you used to play
Times have changed and you have not and you don’t find it fair
How the world can keep going but leave you way back there
You can try to make it back ahead but time never could be beat
And it doesn’t matter if you took one step or ran a thousand feet
You cry, you scream, you fall, you bleed, you shout, you yell
Until the moment hits you, you’ve trapped yourself in hell
It’s no ones fault but yours and it hits hard and fast
Instead of living in the now you’ve been dying in the past
You open up you eyes and smile at what you see
The world isn’t perfect, the world’s just like me
Flawed”

He opened his eyes and what he saw shocked him. Buffy had tears streaming down her face. “Baby what’s wrong?” he asked in distress.

She sniffled up at him. “You really where shattered weren’t you?”

He nodded and wiped the tears from her face gently. “ I was” he agreed.

“How did you get past it? The end of the poem seemed happier.”

“I told myself that everyone has someone and it was just a matter of time before I found my girl.”

She smiled and kissed him gently. “Is that me?”

“Nah, it’s that chick who plays on ‘Sarah, the vampire slayer’” he teased.

She hit his arm playfully and he kissed her again. “Of course it’s you, I think it always has been” he added shyly.

Buffy moved to straddle his hips. “Do I make you feel alive?”

“More then that princess, you make me feel whole” he whispered before they got lost in each others touch.


Please let me know what you thought XXX (Like the poem guys???)

Special great big thanx to Angelbliss, Saltygoodness, Annie, Shelly, MidnightGirl, Tina, BuffyandSpikeForever, CordyKitten, Devin, Chris, Spufette, Brat, Caitie, Allison, Melissa g, Symbolica, Caitie, Jessica, Flibble, Shippy and Crystal Pegasus. You guys are amazing!!!!


Spike and Buffy laughed while they waved to Lorelei and Devin. They where going to spend the weekend with Uncle Oz and Aunt Willow, along with their new baby ‘cousin’ Tara, Oz and Willows first child.

Buffy and Spike had been reluctant at first but truth be told they needed the break. Lorelei and Devin had just celebrated their 6th birthday and Spike and Buffy couldn’t be prouder.

Spike had even written a cleaner fairy tale version of how mommy and daddy had met and fallen in love, it was a story the two children begged to hear almost nightly.

It seemed they where growing so fast now. Both children had honey blond hair and dazzling blue eyes. They also had attitudes on them, Spike said it came from Buffy but she was sure it came from him.

Devin had a bad habit of starting fights and Lorelei had a bad habit of finishing them for him. They where very protective of each other, both parents hoped the fighting was just a bad phase but both knew in their hearts that it was genetic.

When the car was finally out of sight Spike turned to Buffy and smiled eagerly, causing her to laugh.

“What’s on your mind lover?”

He pressed a heated kiss to her mouth and smiled brightly. “I love the kids baby, you know I do but I love you too and a man has needs” he teased playfully.

“Oh is that right?”

He shook his head vigorously causing Buffy to laugh again as she raced into the house and up the stairs to their room.

When the door slammed shut she knew he was almost there and her body shivered in anticipation. 6 years they’d been married and the passion was as it was the first time their bodies met. The love was still alive and thriving with age it would seem and although they had their share of fights they never went to bed unhappy with one another. Life in the Summers-Calendar home was perfect.

Buffy grinned when Spike kicked open her door with a growl, she still loved that sound, it drove her wild. As he prowled towards the bed Buffy started to slide out of her clothes seductively, or what she hoped was seductively. She was three months pregnant and starting to show a l’il bit. It seemed that it had the opposite affect on Spike then she thought it would, he seemed to love it when she was big with his babies.

She rubbed her tummy in small circles and said teasingly “I’m starting to think you have a fat fetish Mr. Calendar”
He reached the bed and climbed on slowly, starting to kiss his way up her body, in between the kisses he answered “No, no fat fetish. Got a bad fetish for Buffy though” he whispered huskily.

Buffy moaned quietly as his tongue darted out and flicked her clit. She had almost missed this the most. During sex she could stay quiet enough, if Spike had his tongue in her mouth, but this had become almost impossible to do, both blondes not wanting to explain that ‘daddy wasn’t hurting mommy’ and what not.


Her hands gripped the bed and she bit down on her lip to keep from shrieking as his tongue made it’s way between her folds, Spike stopped his ministrations for a moment causing Buffy to whimper, “Old habits die hard eh kitten?”

“What do you mean baby?” she managed to gasp out.

“Kids are gone, no holding back.” He answered before diving back into his work.

It didn’t take long for the telltale signs to show and Spike had to bite back his smile of manly pride, he could still get his girl to cum for him in record time.

When he felt her fingers dig into his hair he moved his hand so that he could pinch her clit at the same time he thrust his tongue in and she screamed, bloody hell did she scream. He lapped at her like he’d been dying of thirst, it had been far too long since they’d been able to do that.

When her body stopped shaking he made his way up to her so they where lying side by side.

“Fell good kitten?” he asked as he ran his hand over her face gently.

“You still got it Spike” she said with a breathy laugh before rolling on top of him. “Lets see if I still do.”

His eyes widened in pleasure when she sank herself onto his erection and he bucked involuntarily.

“You still got it baby” he moaned as she began to grind her hips down slowly.

He brought his hands up to cup her breasts, kneading them before deciding that it wasn’t enough. He pulled himself up to a sitting position so that he could take her nipple into his mouth and his arms wrapped around her waist.

Buffy moaned at the friction the new position was causing and began to speed up her thrusts, slamming down onto his dick fast and hard. Spike closed his eyes at the sensation and bit down on her neck gently as she rode him faster and faster and when his hips started to meet her thrusts Buffy lost control. All she knew was him as he hit her sweet spot over and over again until she came harder then she ever had. The feel of Buffy’s walls clenching him over and over again did it and with a few more thrusts he was there with her, panting for air after they had both reached the best orgasm yet.

When they came down from it Spike pulled Buffy to him so that she was lying on his chest with her head over his heart.

“Baby?” Spike whispered.

“Ya?”

“I love you.”

“I love you Spike.”

“Go to sleep, you’ll need your energy for later princess” he said with a smirk.

“Is that right? I think I’ve had my fill of you for the weekend Spike.”

When he growled she giggled and snuggled into him, finding the perfect position as her eyes started to close. “Going to sleep now” she said happily and he wrapped his arm over her and rubbed her stomach lightly.

“I’ll be here when you wake up kitten.”

“Always?” she mumbled, half asleep already.

“Always” he confirmed and they both knew that it was true.




So did you like it guys? Let me know please (and special thanx to Devin, I think you know why XXX)