Prologue

January 2002

“William!” Hank Summers greeted his employee as he entered the banquet hall. Spike resisted the urge to cringe at the use of his proper name. “There’s my top lawyer. Well, this week anyway,” he joked noticing Angel at Spike’s side. “Stay close. I want to introduce you to my family when they arrive.” Hank gave him one last pat on the back before he was off to mingle with his top clients.

Spike laughed and placed his attention back on his date. “Want something to drink?”

“In a moment,” Drusilla answered looking around the party. “Just think, William. All this fuss made for you.”

“Yeah, who would’ve thought?” Angel joked. Although he was happy for his friend, he was also a little jealous. Angel had been working for Hank three years longer than Spike, and had never done a job to earn this kind of praise.

“Thanks, mate,” Spike muttered under his breath for only his friend to hear, as he was bombarded with clients and fellow lawyers congratulating him on the gigantic win.

"William," Spike looked up from the crowd that had gathered in front of him to see his boss hurrying towards him with two women; the older a red head and the younger a tall, skinny brunette. He noticed the teenager staring at him with wide eyes, as if she knew him, but he quickly brushed her off. She was too young to be one of his conquests. "I’d like you to meet my family."

Spike flashed the two Summers women a dazzling smile. "Ah, Hank’s daughters. Nice to meet you finally."

Hank cleared his throat, putting his arm around the red head. "Actually, William. This is my wife Karen." Hank pointed to the brunette teenager. "This is my daughter Dawn."


Spike’s face heated up, but he was able to keep the blushing to a light pink. “I knew that.” He laughed, as if he had been joking the whole time.

“Ah, it must have been the accent that confused us,” Dawn said sarcastically knowing all too well how young her new stepmother was.

Spike chose to ignore the teenager, although he wondered why she was still staring at him. “I thought you had two daughters, Mr. Summers.”

“It’s Hank, and I do. My older daughter should be here any minute.”



Buffy had barely stepped foot inside the crowded hall before her father greeted her. He hugged her before he noticed she had someone clinging to her hand. “Sitter never showed,” she explained when she saw his look. “Don’t worry, she won’t get in the way of your big party.”

Hank shook his head. “Of course she won’t.” He bent down to kiss his granddaughter. “Now, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

Buffy sighed. “Dad, how many times do I have to tell you I don’t want to be set up with anyone. If I wanted a boyfriend I could easily get one on my own.” Buffy rolled her eyes. “And I especially don’t want any scum of the earth lawyer for a boyfriend. No offense.” Been there, done that, Buffy thought to herself bitterly.

“I’m not setting you up with William. I just thought you would want to meet the guest of honor.” Before she could object Hank was pushing her through the crowd towards the middle of the room. Buffy spotted Dawn and her teenage stepmother standing with someone she couldn’t quite see as they approached. “William, this is my other daughter, Buffy.”



Spike felt all the air rush out of his body as he came face to face with Hank’s oldest daughter. She looked older and thinner, but he could tell right away that she was the same girl he’d met five years earlier. Spike couldn’t find his voice as he watched the women in front of him grow pale with realization. “...Sarah.” was all he heard Hank saying.

“Wh-what was that?”

Hank gave him a strange look, not noticing the look on Buffy’s face. “I said, and this is my granddaughter, Sarah.”

For the first time since she'd appeared before him, Spike took his eyes off of Buffy’s face and looked beside her. A miniature version of Buffy stood holding onto her mother’s hand tightly. A million thoughts ran through his head. Unfortunately he couldn’t think of a single thing to say to the woman who’d left him so many years earlier. He couldn’t stop thinking about the first night he’d met her.






Chapter One

May 1997


"Angel, could you make a call to the New York office and..."

Spike tuned out the sound of his boss’s voice. Hank Summers was a nice enough guy, but he barely let Spike do any real work around the office. Hank left all the important tasks to Angel who was three years older than Spike and almost finished with law school. Spike snapped back to reality when he heard his name being called. "William, why don’t you go and get us takeout for lunch?"

"Will do, Mr. Summers," Spike replied eager to get out of the office. Spike hated being called William, but he really didn’t expect his boss to call him by his nickname.



Spike looked up from his desk as Angel approached him with a huge grin. "Pack your bags buddy."

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?"

"Mr. Summers didn’t tell you?" Angel asked sitting down across from Spike at the large oval table. "He gave us a long weekend off. He’s going to Europe with his second wife."

Spike genuinely smiled for the first time that day. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy learning from the lawyers at this firm, but he was still human and enjoyed a weekend off every now and then. "That’s great, Peaches, but where are we going?"

"To visit our good friend Charlie and his new girlfriend in Sunnydale," Angel told him standing up. "Hurry up and finish that. I want to be on the road by four."



"Finally! We’re free!" Xander cried humorously as he approached Buffy and Willow standing at their lockers. His exclamation earned him a glare from Principal Snyder who walked by the trio at that very moment.

"Smooth, Xand," Buffy teased.

Xander gave her a sheepish grin before causally draping an arm around her shoulders. "We Bronzing it tonight?"

Buffy rolled her eyes and stepped out of the embrace. "Of course, what else would we be doing?"

A dreamy smile swept over Xander’s face, and Buffy thought the smile was for her. She began to frown and say something before Xander called out, "Hey Cordelia. You gonna be at the Bronze tonight?"

Cordelia, the other object of Xander’s affection, shot him a venomous glare. "Actually, yes, but don’t even think about coming near me. I reserve the right to only dance with cute college boys."

Buffy couldn’t hide her smile at her friend’s rejection. "I guess you’re stuck with us," she told him as she and Willow began walking away from the upset boy.



"Wow, Buffy. That outfit’s awesome!" Willow complimented her friend as she entered Buffy’s bedroom.

Buffy turned around at the redhead’s entrance. She was practically radiating heat with her outfit. She wore a blood red halter-top that revealed much cleavage, skintight black pants that flared a little at the bottom and black leather boots. Her long, wavy hair bounced over her shoulders and down her back. Completing the outfit was her signature cross necklace, simple silver hoops, red lip-gloss and dark eye makeup. "Thanks, Wils. You don’t look so bad yourself." She noticed her usually conservative friend was wearing a mini skirt and a dangerously low tank top.

"Is it too much?" Willow asked nervously fingering the hem of her skirt.

Buffy shook her head furiously. "It’s perfect." She smiled knowingly. "Are we wearing a sexy outfit for anyone in particular?"

Willow pretended to have no idea what her friend was talking about. "Nope, just in case."

"Buffy! Willow!" Xander’s here

Buffy’s smile deepened at her mother’s perfect timing. "K, Mom! We’ll be right down."



"Hey, boys," Charles Gunn greeted his two friends. Gunn and Angel had met in college at UCLA and once he’d been introduced to Spike, they’d hit it off instantly.

"Hiya, Charlie," Spike called knowing Gunn hated it when anyone used his first name.

"Good evening, William," Gunn teased back.

"Fair enough," Spike said with a laugh dropping his duffel bag to shake Gunn’s hand.

For the first time both Angel and Spike noticed a small brunette standing by the front door of Gunn’s house. Gunn noticed them staring and smacked himself for forgetting to introduce his girlfriend. "Guys, this is Fred." He motioned for her to join them in the driveway.

Fred flashed them a smile.

"Nice to meet you," Angel said with a friendly wave.

"Yeah, so what do you and Gunn have planned for us tonight?" Spike asked.

"Well, we thought we could take you two out to dinner and then go to the Bronze."

"The Bronze?" Angel asked.

"It’s the local club in Sunnydale. Really
the only cool place in town," Gunn told them. He noticed the skeptical looks on their faces. "It’s nothing like the clubs in L.A. But everyone there is legal," he lied, knowing his friends wouldn’t want to go to the local high school hangout.

"Sounds like a plan," Spike agreed. He held up the duffel bag in front of him. "Now where can I drop this?"



"I love this song!" Buffy shouted over the blaring music at the Bronze as she danced with Willow and Xander. After what felt to Buffy like the millionth song in a row, she needed a nice, cold beverage. She caught her friends’ attention and pointed to the bar. "You guys want?"

Xander shook his head and Willow mimicked him quickly after. Buffy smiled to herself as she made her way to the bar. It was embarrassingly obvious to everyone except Xander that Willow had a gigantic crush on him. As she ordered a Diet Coke, she noticed a handsome guy with white blonde hair. He was talking and laughing with two guys and two girls.

Buffy, still staring at the handsome stranger, made her way to a nearby table that allowed her the perfect view. She was so intent on her staring that she was completely oblivious as her friend took a seat next to her. "Wil!" Buffy exclaimed, startled as Willow’s arm brushed against hers.

"Sorry," Willow apologized. "What are you
staring at?" She followed Buffy’s gaze, but couldn’t tell who Buffy was looking at.

"Nothing!" Buffy turned back to her friend. "What are you doing here when Xander’s out there?"

Willow made a face. "He’s trying to get Cordelia to dance with him."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "When is he going to learn?"

"Not soon enough," Willow muttered under her breath. Buffy raised an eyebrow at her usually mellow friend’s harsh tone. "I’m going to the bathroom."

Buffy watched Willow walk away and once again found her eyes searching for him. She found him standing in the same spot he’d been occupying since she’d first seen him. Buffy couldn’t help but notice his striking features and the way his face scrunched up when he laughed.



Spike threw back his head and laughed along with his friends at another one of Angel’s amusing stories. Fred had invited her friend Darla, and she and Angel had immediately hit it off. Now Angel was telling the group embarrassing, but humorous stories of life in L.A. Many of them focused around Spike running for coffee or some other tedious errand for their employer.

"I remember one time back in college when we first started hanging out," Gunn started. "That Theta Beta Gamma party? When Spike got hammered and fell off the balcony?" Gunn continued the story, and by the end all five were hysterically laughing.

"Hey, we’ve all done some pretty stupid things, mate," Spike reminded him. "Don’t make me tell Fred about all the things you did back in the day." Spike’s brow furrowed as he felt eyes boring into the back of his head. He turned around to see a petite blonde staring at him from a nearby table. Her gaze shifted to something on the wall behind him, and he wondered if maybe she hadn’t been looking at him at all.



Buffy blushed furiously as he turned to look at her. She quickly averted her eyes to stare at something, anything, behind him. It worked, and he turned his attention back to his friends. Buffy couldn’t help but steal a glance at him again, but this time she found herself staring into deep blue eyes. Once again she averted her eyes, but she was too late. She closed her eyes tight, praying the floor would open up beneath her and suck her in.



Spike smiled to himself when he saw the young blonde squeeze her eyes shut. Putting his beer down on the bar behind him, he excused himself to the bathroom. Spike headed in the direction of her table just as a slow song came from the band on stage.

"Would you like to dance?"

Buffy forced herself to open her eyes and look up into the same blue eyes she’d found herself staring into moments before. "Wh-what?" she stammered.

Spike grinned at her discomfort. "I asked you if you’d like to dance with me."

Chapter Two



Buffy swayed her hips against Spike’s seductively. They had been dancing, more like grinding, for over an hour now. When they had started to dance there had been this instant chemistry that had kept them on the dance floor.

"You want a drink, luv?" Spike breathed into her ear.

Buffy nodded. After dancing for so long, she was extremely thirsty. They made their way to the bar and Spike ordered a beer for himself and turned to Buffy, silently asking what she’d like. "Diet Coke," she told him.

Diet Coke, huh? he thought to himself before placing her order with the bartender. "Exactly how old are you, Buffy?"

"Eighteen," Buffy answered immediately. Spike seemed older, and she didn’t want to scare him off with her youth.

Spike nodded, taking their drinks and handing her the darker cup. "I’m twenty-three." Spike quickly finished his beer before ordering another. It was getting late and their two groups of friends had left a short while before.

Willow hadn’t wanted to leave Buffy alone at the club with Spike, and neither had Xander but for his own selfish reasons. Buffy had insisted that she was fine and could find her way home by herself. She couldn’t explain it, but she felt completely secure in Spike’s company.

As Spike finished his beer in front of her it was obvious he was on the verge of being completely drunk. One more should do it, Buffy thought to herself as Spike ordered another.

"It’s getting late." Buffy didn’t want him to think she was younger than she’d led him to believe, but her mother was going to kill her if she didn’t get home soon.

Spike nodded, finishing his last beer. "You wanna come back to my place?"

Buffy thought it over for a second. No, no, no. You cannot go to his place. Unless you want to be grounded for the rest of your life! "Sure, just let me run to the ladies’ room first." Buffy rushed off without waiting for a response, already formulating an elaborate story to tell her mother.



Spike paid the cab driver before they exited the taxi. He lead her up the walkway into the small, dark house. "Shh," he hissed as they entered. "Everyone’s asleep."

Everyone? Buffy didn’t bother to ask Spike, she just assumed he had roommates. Instead she nodded and followed him into a tiny bedroom.

"You want something to drink?" he asked her. She just shook her head in response, rooted in her spot just in front of the doorway. "Well, come in. Sit down. We can watch some telly." He gestured to the bed where he was already seated.

Buffy gave him a small, nervous smile before sitting down next to him. The ease she had been feeling at the Bronze was almost completely gone, replaced by an intense fear stemming from her almost complete inexperience with men.

Spike seemed to notice her hesitation, and placed a reassuring hand on her thigh before handing her the remote to the minuscule television. She began surfing through the late night programs as he inched closer to her on the bed.

Before she knew what was happening, she felt Spike’s lips graze the side of her neck. She stiffened a little at first, before allowing herself to enjoy the feeling of his lips on her skin. His mouth trailed a line upwards from her collarbone ending at her lips. She responded after only a second, succumbing to the incredible feeling building in her stomach.

Spike’s hands rested at her waist before roaming up and down her sides underneath her top. He pushed them back onto the bed, so Buffy was laying against the pillows and hovered himself over her small frame. Their eyes locked for a moment before Spike closed the distance between their mouths and was kissing her again.

Buffy felt the remote slip out of her hand and onto the hard wood floor with a bang. She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him down so their bodies were pressed firmly together. Her eyes opened wide as she felt something hard pressing into her stomach, but quickly closed them getting lost in his kisses.

Spike reached between their bodies, one hand cupping her breast over her shirt and the other caressing her inner thigh over her thin pants. Both hands met at the zipper of her pants, slowly pulling it down. He pushed them down just above her knees and pushed her red lace thong aside. She moaned as she felt a single finger slide inside her.

Buffy lifted Spike’s shirt over his head before placing kisses all over his bare chest. She stopped at one of his nipples licking and kissing it before sucking the hard nub into her mouth. Spike pumped his finger in and out of her even faster in response.

Spike removed his finger, and Buffy almost groaned at the loss of contact. She resisted the urge when she felt him pushing her pants further down her legs, followed by her thong. He traced kisses up her legs, up her thighs, leaving a lingering kiss at her wet opening before traveling up her stomach taking her top with him.

Buffy’s hands flew to the buttons of his jeans, and she said a silent prayer that she was able to unbutton them with ease. She couldn’t help but look down at Spike’s hard member as she pushed his jeans down his legs only to find his boots in the way. He smiled at her trouble untying them and reached down to help her.

"Thanks," she mumbled, her cheeks blushing a deep red as he discarded his boots on the floor with numerous other articles of their clothing.

"No problem, baby," he breathed staring down at her naked form. This only caused her to blush more, which Spike found adorable. "You’re so beautiful."

Buffy reached her arms around his neck, bringing him down for another passionate kiss. Spike positioned himself between her legs while reaching into the duffel bag that was on the floor next to the bed. Buffy opened her eyes mid-kiss when she heard the sound of a wrapper opening. Duh, a condom, dummy. Thank God he remembered because you certainly wouldn’t have!

Spike stared into her eyes after rolling the condom on. Although Buffy was nervous, she was about to lose her virginity after all, she gave Spike a smile and opened her legs wider giving him an open invitation. He slowly entered her reveling in the feeling of her moist channel surrounding him. "God, Buffy," he moaned. "You’re so tight!"

Buffy fought back tears at the immense pain she was experiencing. Spike sensed her need for tenderness and stopped inside her before thrusting deeper, breaking through her barrier without even knowing it. Buffy’s fingernails dug into his back as he did this, holding back a cry she so desperately needed to let out.

The pressure on his back lessened as he pumped slowly in and out of her. The pain she’d felt only moments ago was replaced by the growing sensation in her stomach. "Spike," she whimpered softly, desperate to feel release but also loving the feeling inside her.

The thrusts became longer and faster as Spike neared his own climax. Spike brought his hand down in between their bodies to massage her swollen clit, pushing her further towards her orgasm. "Oh, God. Spike!" Buffy screamed out moments later as Spike pushed her over the edge.

After feeling her muscles tense around his cock, and her juices wash over him, it only took a few quick thrusts before he was spilling his seed into the condom.

Spike gave her a tender kiss before rolling off of her and grabbing a tissue from the night stand. He turned so his backside was facing her and discarded the condom into the trash can.

While he was doing that, Buffy pulled the covers down and over her. Exhaustion started taking over, and she felt her eyelids closing involuntarily.

Spike turned back to her, joining her underneath the covers. He spooned himself against her side wrapping an arm around her bare stomach. She felt his arm moving up and down on her stomach as she tried to regulate her breathing. “You okay, pet?”

Buffy nodded quickly. “More than okay,” she told him. “That was amazing.” She felt her cheeks heat up at her admission.

Spike kissed her shoulder. “You weren’t so bad yourself,” he joked squeezing her closer to him. "Good night, Buffy," he said quietly.

"Good night," she whispered before drifting to sleep.



Buffy’s eyelids fluttered open early the next morning. Memories of the previous night flooded her mind as she looked at the person laying next to her. I can’t believe I did it! she thought to herself. And with him!

Buffy couldn’t help but wonder what Spike would think of their night together when he woke up sober. What if he just slept with me because he was drunk? What if he totally regrets it and it’s weird when he wakes up?

With that last thought corrupting her mind Buffy slid out of bed, careful not to wake Spike and looked around the room for her clothes. Without a sound, she quickly dressed, found her purse and slipped out of the bedroom.

"Hey!" Buffy’s heart jumped to her throat as she stopped like a deer in headlights in the small kitchen. A blonde woman holding a box of cereal was staring at her with a huge grin on her face. "I’m Darla," she introduced herself. "Leaving so soon? I could make you some, well, cereal. It’s the only thing these boys have to eat."

"Uh, no thanks. I have to get going actually," Buffy told her quickly. Darla opened her mouth to say something else, but Buffy didn’t give her the chance. She bolted out of the house, not looking back as she headed home.

Chapter Three



Buffy finally woke up Saturday afternoon around two, tired from the previous night’s activities. She was about to roll over and go back to sleep when her younger sister, Dawn came bouncing into her room.

"Gee, Buffy, sleep much last night?" Dawn asked sarcastically plopping down next to Buffy on the bed.

Buffy groaned. "Dawn, go away!"

"Okay," she started, slowly rising from the bed. She turned back when she reached the door. "I guess that means you don’t want to go shopping with me and Mom?"

Buffy instantly rolled over to face her sister. "Shopping?"



Spike was in a foul mood that afternoon. Not only had he not gotten enough sleep the previous night, but he had also gotten walked out on that morning. And what made it worse was that his friends knew about it thanks to Darla.

After everyone had eaten breakfast and ragged on Spike, they had left the house to explore Sunnydale. Everywhere they went Spike searched the crowd for Buffy. He could kick himself for not getting her number, never mind finding out where she lived or what her last name was.

Now they were at the Sunnydale Mall. Spike’s grim mood lightened slightly. If there was any place in Sunnydale he was likely to run into Buffy it was here.

His friends were talking and laughing, but Spike tuned them out. He concentrated on searching the crowds of teenage girls. Finally he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Face it," Gunn started, a grin spreading over his serious face. "The girl’s disappeared."



"What about this one, Buffy?"

Buffy looked up to see what her mother was holding. "Nah."

Joyce raised an eyebrow. Usually her daughter would be running around the store, trying on everything. But today she seemed more reserved. She was probably just tired from her sleep over with Willow.

Buffy’s eyes widened as she saw a group walk into the store. Two girls leading three bored guys. "Uh, actually. I’ll try that on," Buffy said quickly, grabbing the garment out of her mother’s hand.

Buffy rushed to the fitting room as the group neared her. She went into a stall and collapsed on the chair inside. After a minute she could hear a familiar voice coming from the stall next to her.

"Yeah, I saw her," Darla was saying. "First of all, she looks like she’s sixteen!"

Buffy made a face, but snapped out of it, realizing she is sixteen. Someone laughed in the stall on the other side of her. "Yeah, well Spike certainly is grumpy today."

"She skipped out on him this morning," Darla told Fred. "Angel told me that’s how all Spike’s dates usually end. Except Spike’s usually the one to leave before the girl wakes up."

"The first thing Charles said when he heard this morning was ‘Spike bagged another one’."

Buffy was fuming in her stall. Another one? she thought angrily. Throwing on a big pair of sunglasses and an unneeded sweatshirt she made her way out of the dressing room, not wanting to hear anymore of their gossip. She found her mother and sister still looking through the racks of clothes.

"Did you like it?" Joyce asked.

"Wha-" Buffy remembered the piece of clothing she was supposed to be trying on. "Oh, no. Actually I’m feeling really tired. Me and Willow stayed up late with the girl talk. Can I walk home?"

Joyce put a hand to her daughter’s forehead. "Well, I don’t think you’re sick. But sure, just be careful. We’ll see you at home for dinner."

Buffy hurried herself out of the store before Spike saw her. Luckily there was no sign of the three guys as she ran out of the mall.



"Finally!" Angel exclaimed as Spike walked into Gunn’s house Sunday afternoon.

Spike glared at his friend.

"Where’d you go?"

"Out for a smoke, not that it’s any of your damn business."

"That was a long smoke," Gunn called out from his place in the kitchen.

"You wouldn’t happen to be looking for someone during that smoke? Blonde, hot, yay high." Angel drew a line in the air near his chest.

"No bloody way," Spike scoffed. "What kind of a ponce do you think I am?"

Angel rolled his eyes, thankful that his friend would be getting out of this town. The weekend had been a disaster all because, for some crazy reason, Spike had gotten attached to his one night stand. "Well, let’s go then. I don’t want to hit any traffic."

Spike grabbed his duffel bag from his room and came back out with a scowl on his face. "Ay, ay captain."

Angel rolled his eyes again before they said goodbye to Gunn and Fred. It was going to be a long ride home.



"Hey, Buff," Xander greeted her as she approached their usual table in the cafeteria.

Buffy smiled at her friends. She hadn’t spoken to either of them about Friday night at the Bronze and she hoped to keep it that way. "Hey, guys."

Willow had an anxious gleam in her eyes. "So," she started off slowly. "Did you have a good time at the Bronze the other night?"

"I guess," Buffy said simply. "Did anyone do Mr. Adam’s math homework?"

"You guess?" Willow asked ignoring her comment about homework.

Buffy shrugged. "Yes, I had a good time. Did you?"

Willow again ignored her question. "Give us the details. Like what happened after we left? Did that guy take you home? Did you even go home?" Buffy blushed automatically and Willow’s eyes widened. "You didn’t!"

"Wha-?" Xander asked looking up from his lunch. "What do you mean she didn’t go home?"

"You didn’t?" Willow continued. Buffy avoided eye contact with either of her friends, but her face was an obvious shade of deep red. "Ohmigod! You did!" Willow practically screeched. Buffy happily observed that Xander was still looking confused until Willow blurted out, "You had sex with him!"

Xander started choking on his lunch. Willow patted his back and offered him soda until he stopped coughing. "You what? With who?" he managed eventually.

"Thanks, Wils," Buffy grumbled.

Willow lowered her eyes. "I’m sorry, Buffy. I mean, it’s not everyday your best friend does something this monumental without telling anyone! Not that it’s not good to have secrets. Sure, everybody has secrets." Xander gave her a look. "I’m rambling aren’t I?"

Buffy couldn’t help but laugh. "Just a bit. But you’re right. I should want to share with you guys. I do want to share. I’m share gal!"

"Not that I want any sharey details, but we are talking about that badly bleached blonde, punk rock loving, leather duster wearing guy from the Bronze, right?"

Buffy frowned. "Badly bleached?"

Xander shrugged. "Yes," Willow replied. "So, Buff. What was it like?"

"Wil!"

"Okay, you don’t have to answer that." Willow searched for another question out of the hundreds that were floating around in her head. "How old is he?"

"Twenty-three."

"Twenty-three!" Xander exclaimed. "That’s-that’s illegal! Talk about robbing the cradle!"

"Xander!" Buffy glared at him. "He doesn’t exactly know he ‘robbed the cradle’." Both Willow and Xander gave her a blank look. "I told him I’m eighteen."

Before Xander could say anything to hurt Buffy’s feelings Willow asked, "Where does he live?"

Buffy racked her brain. How could she have forgotten to ask the guy she slept with, the first guy she’d ever slept with, where he was from? "Ac-actually I didn’t really get any specifics."

"O-kay. A telephone number? Anything?" Buffy shook her head sheepishly. "Are you going to see him again?"

"I doubt it," Buffy mumbled. "Especially since I kinda took off the next morning before he woke up."

Willow and Xander sat before her, speechless. Finally, Willow spoke. "Well, I mean, you were probably scared, right?"

"I guess. I mean I didn’t know what to expect. So I thought I’d just make it easier and leave." Buffy told them about Darla and Fred’s conversation in the dressing room. "Oh, well. Buffy sighed. I’ll probably never see him again, anyway."




A/N Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I really appreciate it! Please keep letting me know what you think of the fic!

Chapter Four



Buffy was sulking. She, Xander and Willow were hanging out together for the last time until the end of summer. Due to her parents’ divorce agreement, Buffy and her younger sister Dawn were required to spend their summer vacation in L.A. with their father. Although Buffy would miss her friends, she was also apprehensive about leaving her mother completely alone in Sunnydale. At least her father had a new wife with him in L.A.

"What time are you leaving tomorrow?"

Buffy looked up from her sundae momentarily to answer Willow. "7:30. In the morning!" she replied with a scowl. "First week of summer vacation and I have to get up early," she complained.

"Yeah, but just think of all the good things, like the big library, visiting UCLA, going to museums." Willow stopped when she noticed the looks given by both her friends. "What I meant was all the malls, the clubs and the boys."

Xander nodded with a mouthful of ice cream. "Yeah, and we’ll be in boring old Sunnydale doing the same boring old thing."

Buffy sighed. "I’m gonna miss you guys."

"Aw, we’re gonna miss you too, Buffy," Willow assured her, patting her hand comfortingly. "But you’ll be back before you know it."

Buffy dropped her spoon into her empty dish and stood up. "I guess I should get going. Still have a lot of packing to do." Willow and Xander stood to hug their friend goodbye. "I’ll call you guys from L.A. Have a good summer," she called walking out of the restaurant.



Buffy sighed as her father’s Cadillac pulled up to his new mansion. She was looking foward to spending time with her father, but she had a feeling that wasn’t going to happen. When it came to Hank Summers, business took priority over family.

The three exited the car and Hank began unloading the trunk. Buffy and Dawn exchanged a look as their stepmother ran out of the house.

"Buffy! Dawn!" Donna exclaimed as she approached them. "You two are growing up so fast!" She enveloped each girl in a tight embrace.

And so are you, Buffy thought snidely. Donna was twenty seven and Buffy and Dawn found it hard to take their young stepmother seriously. "Thanks," Buffy said instead.

Hank took all the luggage into the house, and walked down to join his family. He put an arm around Dawn’s shoulders. "Isn’t this great, Don? Having the girls here for the whole summer."

Donna plastered a smile on her face and nodded furiously. "We have so much planned for you girls!"

"Come on, let's get you two settled," Hank suggested turning to walk towards the house.

Buffy and Dawn exchanged another look before following the couple. It was going to be a long summer.



"What do you think of these shorts, Buffy?"

Buffy looked at her sister who had just emerged from the dressing room. She saw her stepmother’s eyes light up in approval, but Buffy shook her head. "Way too short for a twelve year old. Mom would never let you wear them."

Dawn rolled her eyes, but scurried back inside the stall. Donna focused her attention on Buffy. "Are you sure there’s nothing in here you want, Buffy?"

Buffy shook her head. "Nope."

"Oh," Donna replied. "Well I’m sure you’ll find something today."

"Actually, I promised my friend I would buy her a book that they don’t sell in Sunnydale. Can I meet you guys back here after I run to the bookstore?"

"Sure. I’m sure your sister will be in there for a while."

Buffy nodded and made her way out of the clothing store. Having lived in L.A. only a few years earlier, Buffy knew exactly where every store was located. Before she realized it she was standing outside the bookstore. I really must be losing it, she thought to herself heading into the store.

Buffy scanned the various aisles quickly locating the section she was looking for. After finding Willow’s book, she hurried out of the aisle, eager to get back to her shopping and find a new pair of sandals before the day was over. Rushing around the corner she felt herself slam into someone’s hard chest. The impact of the collision sent her sprawling back landing on the carpeted floor of the bookstore.

"Oh, bloody hell!"

Buffy stopped herself from gasping as she heard the frighteningly familiar British accent. Her eyes widened, still looking at the ground but too afraid to look up. As soon as she did her fears were answered. Wanting nothing more than to leave the store before he had a chance to remember who she was, she quickly said, "Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going," and tried to rush past him. But not before she saw a look of realization pass through his blue eyes.

"Do I know you?" he asked, although he’d already placed her.

"Um, I don’t think so." Buffy tried to sound carefree, the total opposite of what she was feeling. She tried to walk away from him again, but he was blocking her exit.

"Buffy? Is that you?" he asked her quietly, the hurt obvious in his voice.

Buffy nodded sheepishly. "Hi, Spike." Her eyes finally met his. She saw them go from a pained expression to a very angry one.

"What the hell happened to you?" he asked angrily. "You just take off before I wake up, no note or message, and I never see you again!"

Buffy lowered her gaze to the floor, avoiding eye contact. "I’m sorry I didn’t know what to do, I just got scared." She lowered her voice so it was barely audible. "I’ve never done that before."

Spike strained to hear her last comment. "Never left before a bloke even woke up?" he asked sarcastically.

"That too." She rose her eyes to meet his again, and he could see what she was trying to tell him.

Spike’s anger melted away with one look into her vulnerable eyes. "Oh," was all he could bring himself to say. He felt like a jerk, even though she’d been the one who’d left him. Even though he had no way of knowing he’d taken her virginity that night. "I’m sorry, I didn’t know."

"It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have reacted that way." For the first time Buffy realized the strangeness of them meeting like this in a completely different city. "What are you doing here anyway?"

Spike quickly remembered what he’d been doing before he’d bumped into Buffy. "I’m getting a book for my boss. I’ve been gone a pretty long time though, I should be getting back." He ripped out the last page from the book he was holding and took a pen from his suit pocket. "I’d like to see you again, Buffy."

Buffy couldn’t believe her luck. Running out on the handsome stranger and he still wanted to go out with her! "Sure, I’d like that too."

Spike handed her the paper and pen and she wrote down her phone number. "Great," he smiled as she handed it back to him. "I’ll give you a call tonight."

Buffy beamed up at him before he dashed out of the bookstore. I can’t wait!

Chapter Five



"Wills, are you still there?"

Buffy had just finished telling Willow a very detailed version of her encounter with Spike. Her friend had remained silent on the line the whole time, most likely from shock. "Will?" Buffy asked again, afraid they might have lost a connection.

"Yeah." Willow cleared her throat. Buffy could practically hear the wheels turning. "Wow," was all Willow could muster.

"Wow? That’s it?" Buffy sighed. "Some help you are. I might as well have called Xander!"

Willow allowed a small giggle at the expense of their friend. "I’m sorry, Buffy. It’s just amazing. He’s the last person I expected you to meet on your trip." Willow paused. "Are you happy to see him again?"

"At first not so much." Buffy remembered trying to run and hide from the man. "But now, maybe."



As soon as Buffy ended her conversation with Willow, she picked up the phone and dialed another number. Although Willow wasn’t thrilled that Buffy was going to keep up the charade of being eighteen, she had offered her help and gave Buffy many good ideas. The most important being taken care of first.

"Faith?" Buffy asked as her old friend picked up her cell phone.

"B?"

Buffy could hear the surprise, but didn’t blame her. They hadn’t spoken since Buffy had left to move to Sunnydale. "Yeah, it’s me."

"Long time no talk. I guess they don’t have phones down there in Sunnydale, huh?"

Buffy felt a pang of guilt. She knew Faith was using sarcasm to cover up her hurt feelings. "Actually I’m in L.A. right now. Visiting my dad for the summer."

"Is that right?" Faith questioned. "So you got lonely and decided to look up your old pal Faith?" She didn’t wait for Buffy to answer. "Well that’s good ‘cuz I’ve got all kinds of fun planned for this weekend."

Buffy cleared her throat nervously. "Actually, no. That’s not the reason I’m calling. Although, I would love to hang out and catch up sometime soon," she quickly added, not wanting to hurt Faith again when she needed a favor. She explained some of her situation, without giving names, and eventually asked Faith for her help.

Faith didn’t answer right away, and Buffy waited nervously for her response. "Okay, B. I know some people that could hook you up," she told Buffy. "Meet me at the old high school in two hours."

Before Buffy could thank her, she’d hung up.



Buffy checked her bag for the hundredth time since she’d left her father’s house for her pepper spray. The old high school wasn’t exactly in the best neighborhood, and she was more than a little nervous about walking there alone. The sun was setting, which added to her discomfort. She scanned the empty parking lot, for any sign that her friend was waiting for her.

"Boo!" Buffy screamed loudly when someone jumped in front of her. Her heart was racing as her attacker started laughing. "Relax, B. It’s just me."

"Faith!" Buffy didn’t know if she should be relieved or pissed off at her friend.

"Who else would it be? The big bad?" Faith teased her.

"Well? Did you get it?" Buffy asked anxiously.

Faith waited a second before pulling something out of her back pocket and holding it up for Buffy to see. "You know me. I always get it." She handed Buffy the small, plastic card.

"Ohmigod!" Buffy squealed in delight. "It even has my real picture on it!"

"Yeah, I had a few lying around. You owe me fifty bucks."

"Whatever, it’s worth it." Buffy’s eyes were still glued to her new fake ID.

Faith flashed her a devilish smile. "Wanna test it out?"



Buffy stared at the cars as they drove past her, oblivious that she had passed her destination three times. As she walked the city block for the fourth time she wondered if maybe she was making a mistake. Her time with Spike had been short, but her instincts had told her to leave that morning after their night together. What if that had been her mistake? Was meeting Spike again fate’s way of telling her that?

However, she couldn’t shake off Willow’s warnings. Even if she and Spike were meant to be together, he would never stay with her if he knew her real age.

"What if this thing turns serious?" Willow had asked. "How are you going to explain why you still go to high school? Why you don’t have a driver’s license?"

Buffy had been silent, contemplating her friend’s questions. She remembered how easy it had been to dismiss Willow’s concerns.

"This ‘thing’ won’t get serious, Will. It’s just a summer fling."

Now, Buffy couldn’t get that conversation out of her mind. Was she willing to risk getting attached to Spike when she knew all they could ever have was a summer romance?

As she approached the building for the fifth time, she shook her head to clear her mind and finally made her way towards the apartment complex. Tonight was her first real date with Spike, and she couldn’t help but be nervous about how she would look. Which is why she’d gone to her only real friend in L.A. for help.

"Hey, B," Faith greeted her after answering the door. "You come back for some more club hoppin?"

Buffy smiled, remembering the previous night with her friend. Buffy’s fake ID had worked like a charm, and thanks to Faith’s connections neither of them had spent a dime. However, clubs in L.A. weren’t like the Bronze in Sunnydale and she was more than exhausted after their night out. "No, but I do need your help."

Faith stepped aside to let Buffy inside the small apartment. Faith’s father had died when she was ten and since then her mother had turned to alcohol as a way out. Faith rarely saw her mother and when she did it was only for a day or two. She’d bring whatever boyfriend she’d found back to the apartment and ignore Faith until she could get some money out of her. Then she’d steal whatever small belongings Faith had and disappear again for months.

Buffy could tell things had gotten worse for Faith. The tiny apartment was dark except for a lone ray of sunlight coming in through the blinds. Her furniture consisted of a small table that belonged in someone’s backyard and two fold up chairs in front of a minuscule television set. There was a mini refrigerator, a few cabinets, and a small sink that made up the kitchen. Her bed was up against the far wall of the room with a small alarm clock sitting beside it.

Faith clapped her hands loudly, bringing Buffy out of her daze. "So, what kinda help you need this time?"

Chapter Six



"Where are we going now?" Buffy asked as she walked next to Spike down the boardwalk. Spike had taken her to a romantic restaurant on the beach and Buffy had really enjoyed getting to know him, something she hadn’t been able to do back in Sunnydale. They'd been having such a good time, she had almost forgotten that she was deceiving him about her age. Almost.

"You’ll see," he responded, grinning at her. "It’s a surprise."

Buffy pouted playfully. "I hate surprises!"

Spike resisted the urge to kiss her pouty lips, and instead took her hand in his. Buffy smiled at the gesture. It was odd to be starting at the beginning with someone she’d already been intimate with.

"You’ll love this surprise," he told her confidently. His smile dimmed slightly as they approached an amusement park on the pier. "You do like rides, don’t you?"

Buffy nodded enthusiastically. "My parents used to take me and my sister here all the time when I was younger."

"I’ve lived in L.A. for five years now and I’ve never been here before," Spike admitted, handing the cashier their admission money.

Buffy took his hand again, pulling him behind her excitedly. "This place is so much fun!" she exclaimed. "I haven’t been here in three years. Not since I was thirt-" Buffy stopped in her tracks causing Spike to slam into her backside. She was grateful he couldn’t see her face considering how wide her eyes were at the moment.

"Fifteen?" he replied when she didn’t continue. "Not too good with math, are we pet?"

When she finally looked at him, he had a playful gleam in his eyes. Right, I’m just bad with math, she thought bitterly. More like I can’t keep my facts straight. "That could be why I failed Pre-Calc," she joked, naming the course she would be taking her senior year.

Spike laughed, quickly forgetting about her comment. "Well, since you’ve been here already, you’re the tour guide tonight. I want to go on everything, starting with the best ride on the pier," he told her.

Buffy thanked her lucky stars he hadn’t questioned her slip up. "Okay, well the Gravitron is one of my favorites, but I also love the roller coaster and then there’s the Ferris wheel..."



"I had a great time tonight, Spike," Buffy told him as they walked back to his car.

"Me too." When they reached his car, Spike pulled Buffy to him capturing her lips in a soft kiss. "I want to see you again."

Buffy looked down focusing her eyes on his chest. "I want to see you, too."

Spike frowned, noticing something about her mood had changed. "But-"

Buffy sighed. "But I'm leaving in August to go back to Sunnydale." She looked back up at him again. "This could only be a summer thing."

Spike nodded, not responding right away. "Okay," he said finally. Buffy let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. "So we’ll just make it the best three months of our lives."



Two weeks into June, Buffy and Spike were still seeing each other. There relationship had stayed at a sexual level that Buffy was comfortable with. Although they’d slept together already, it felt like Buffy was getting to know an entirely different person. She hoped that when they were both ready to take that step, it would be much more special than the result of a drunken night out.

Buffy knew Spike was waiting for her to be ready. She wasn’t there yet, but she wanted to be prepared whenever the time came. After many hours secretly researching birth control on the internet, Buffy decided it was the right choice for her. Going to either of her parents was too risky, but she did want to see a real doctor about the issue instead of going to some clinic.

Buffy waited until Hank was at work and Dawn was still sound asleep at the other end of the house to approach her stepmother. She found Donna sunbathing in the backyard.

"Good morning!" Buffy called out as she approached the pool area. "I brought out some lemonade."

Donna removed her sunglasses and looked up at Buffy suspiciously. Never before had her stepdaughter been so friendly towards her. "Good morning, Buffy," she greeted accepting the beverage she was handed. "Did you need something?" she asked when Buffy took a seat on the lounge chair next to hers.

"Actually I need your advice," Buffy started. She decided to cater to Donna’s ego, and make her feel like Buffy looked up to her. "It’s kinda embarrassing though."

"I’m sure whatever the problem is, I can relate to it."

"You have to promise not to tell Dad." Buffy watched Donna carefully. It was better to find out if Donna would keep her secret before she actually told her anything.

Donna thought for a minute before answering. "Well, I guess I could do that. Keep it just between us girls." She gave Buffy a serious look. "As long as it’s nothing too bad."

"I want to go on the pill," Buffy blurted out. She waited anxiously for Donna’s reaction.

Then, Donna did the last thing Buffy expected; she smiled. "Is that all? I’ll just take you to my doctor. I’m on the patch, but I’d recommend starting off on the daily pills." She stopped as if just noticing Buffy’s shocked expression. "What?"


Chapter Seven



"Hey, B. You better not be seeing your boy toy tonight because I’ve got some kick ass plans for us. Yours truly has VIP passes to the Hellmouth. I know what you’re thinking. The Hellmouth? As in the hottest nightclub in L.A.? Damn straight. Be at my apartment by eight dressed to kill."



"Hold your horses, mate. I’m coming!" Spike shouted at whoever was frantically knocking on his door.

"Hello, William," Angel greeted his friend, stepping past Spike into the apartment.

"I’ll have you know I’m very busy right now," he lied, hoping Angel wouldn’t see the paused picture on the television screen.

"Watching a rerun of Passions doesn’t count as being busy," Angel told him without looking at the screen. "Now get ready to go out."

Spike shook his head. "Not tonight. I’m pretty knackered from work today."

Angel rolled his eyes as Spike reclaimed his seat on the couch next to the discarded remote. "You’re knackered from all that filing Hank made you do today?" he asked incredulously. "You’re not seeing Buffy tonight are you?"

"Not that I know of."

"And you’re not waiting by the phone for her to call, are you?"

Spike scoffed at that. "And why would I do a thing like that?"

"So then you really have no reason not to come out with us tonight," Angel reminded him. He took the remote, pressed the stop button and manually turned off Spike’s television. "Now. Gunn’s in town with Fred and Darla tonight. So go. Get. Dressed."

Spike finally gave in after a few moments of glaring at Angel. "Fine, but it’s because I want to. Not because you made me."



"So, Buffy how are things in Sunnydale?"

Buffy couldn’t believe her bad luck. Before she’d moved to Sunnydale, she’d had a close group of friends from her high school in L.A. One of the guys in the group, Riley Finn, had just moved to L.A. from somewhere boring like Idaho or Kentucky and had developed a major crush on Buffy. Now, almost a whole year later he was still pining over her. She could kill Faith for inviting him and especially for disappearing on her.

"Things are great," she told him, not hiding her boredom.

Unfortunately he didn’t pick up on it. "You want a drink?"

"I’d love one!" she exclaimed. Alcohol was the only thing that could dull the pain of spending a night hanging out with Riley.

"Okay, then I want to hear all about your life in Sunnydale. And don’t skip the good parts where you tell all your new friends just how much you miss me," he joked.

Buffy barely suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. "Make mine a double."



Buffy was on her fifth shot of the night, and on the verge of asking the bartender for another when Faith finally found her again.

"Woah, B, take it easy there."

Buffy lifted the cool glass to her lips and gulped down the tangy liquid. "Where have you been all night?" she asked slowly, the affect of the alcohol taking its toll on her.

"Around. You having fun?"

"Loads!" Buffy giggled as she fell into Riley’s shoulder. "We’re having lots of fun aren’t we, Riley?"

Riley draped his rather large arm over her shoulder. The weight caused her to sink further down so her head was resting on his chest. "Sure we are. Having a great time here alone." He looked pointedly at Faith.

Faith chuckled at the sight. She pulled Buffy away from Riley so she could sit up on her own, only slightly leaning against Faith. "I found someone I think you might like," she said softly so only Buffy could hear.

"Oh, yeah. Whas he look like?" Buffy slurred.

"Not too tall, but definite hottie," Faith told her. "Killer muscles you can just imagine are there through his black clothes. Oh and bleached blonde hair."

Buffy didn’t seem to quite understand who Faith was talking about. Finally it dawned on her. "Where?"

Faith pointed to where Spike was standing with Angel, Gunn, Darla and Fred. Although Buffy had seen both Fred and Darla before she was too intoxicated to remember. A pang of jealousy shot through her at the thought that one of them could be there on a date with Spike.

"Riley, dance with me," she commanded through her slurs while taking another shot.

Riley was so happy that he didn’t notice the scowl on her face as she led him out to the dance floor.



Spike, Angel and Gunn were standing by the bar drinking their beers when Fred and Darla rejoined them from dancing.

Only Angel noticed the nervous looks passed between the girls. "This place sucks," Darla said much to the men’s surprise.

"Yeah, we should probably go somewhere else," Fred agreed a little too quickly.

Gunn stared at his girlfriend suspiciously. "We just got here. It can’t suck that much already."

"What’s going on with you two?" Angel asked remembering the look he’d seen just a minute earlier.

Neither of the girls spoke and the three men waited anxiously to see the cause of their strange behavior. "Well, you see," Fred started looking nervously at Spike.

"We saw someone we know and we really don’t want to run into them!" Darla told them finally.

"And who’s that?" Angel asked protectively. Angel and Darla had started dating ever since Fred had introduced them in Sunnydale.

"Some girl we used to know."

"An ex-boyfriend," they said in unison.

Spike couldn’t help but laugh, earning him a glare from both girls. "This happens to be one of the most exclusive nightclub in L.A.," he told them.

"Suit yourself," Darla muttered under her breath.

"What’s that mean?" Spike asked.

Darla rolled her eyes. "Fine, we tried, but," her voice trailed off. "The person we saw was that girl that you hooked up with in Sunnydale."

"Buffy’s here?" Gunn asked in utter disbelief.

Now it was Spike’s turn to roll his eyes. "She’s in L.A. for the summer," he explained, "We ran into each other at the mall last month, and now we’re dating."

Three pairs of shocked eyes stared at his back as he walked away from them.



Spike found Buffy exactly where Darla had said she would be, scantily clad and grinding up against some farm boy. Spike scowled at the sight and felt pure rage coursing through his veins. He took a deep breath before approaching the pair, not wanting to start a fight over nothing.

"Mind if I cut in?"

Buffy looked up when she heard the familiar British accent. "Actually I do mind," Riley answered before she could say anything.

"Wasn’t asking you, mate." Spike never took his eyes off Buffy.

"You sure your girlfriends won’t mind?" she asked sarcastically, stopping her movements so she was standing in front of him.

A look of confusion washed over Spike’s features. "Girlfriends? You mean Darla and Fred?" Buffy crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. "Buffy, you’ve met them before remember? Fred is Gunn’s girlfriend and Angel and Darla are here together."

Buffy giggled. "Oh yeah," she said simply before throwing her arms around his neck. "I forgot."

Spike’s arms encircled her waist tightly, while he turned his attention to Riley. Riley finally got the hint, sulking all the way back to the bar. "Who was that kitten?"

Buffy had already forgotten about Riley. "Oh, him. He’s jus' some boring guy I useta go to school with. God he’s so boring!" she exclaimed. "He’d haveta get me totally wasted for me to actually hook up with him."

"Looks like he was doing a good job of that."

"Yeah, but I think I need another drink," Buffy told him trying to move out of his embrace. "It’s been a while since I’ve had one."

Spike only tightened his hold on her waist. "I think you’ve had enough for now," he told her. "Let’s stay out here and dance."

Buffy smiled seductively up at him. She placed her hands on his shoulders and began grinding her pelvis into his at an excruciatingly slow pace. Spike could feel his arousal building, and he was pretty sure Buffy could feel it too. His eyes rolled back into his head when she moved even closer to him, kissing, licking and biting his neck.

Buffy’s hands were traveling up and down his sides when the song ended and another dance mix started. "I want you to meet my friends," she shouted to him over the music. She grabbed his hand before he could protest and led him away from the dance floor.



"Faith! Faith!" When Buffy finally reached Faith, Spike had been able to get his hormones somewhat under control. Or at least, not so noticeable. "Faith, I want you to meet Spike," she introduced them. "Spike this is my good friend, Faith."

"Hey."

"Nice to meet you," Spike greeted her.

Riley cleared his throat loudly from his position next to Faith. "Oh, and this is Riley," Buffy introduced him as an afterthought. "You two kind of met earlier."

As Buffy signaled to the bartender for another two shots for herself and Spike, Riley sized up his competition. "You go to school around here?"

"Yeah, I’m going into my first year of law school at UCLA," Spike told him, not caring to ask about his educational career.

"So what are you, like twenty five?"

"Twenty three, actually." Spike accepted the shot glass Buffy was holding out to him and eagerly drank the liquid. Anything to escape talking to this bore.

"You’re seeing Buffy, old man?" Riley asked looking disgusted. "She’s only-"

Riley groaned as Faith elbowed him in the stomach. "She’s only the most popular girl at UC Sunnydale!" Faith interrupted, pasting a huge smile on her face.

Riley glared at Faith and opened his mouth to finish what he’d began to say. Buffy took this opportunity to wrap her arms around Spike’s neck and bring his head down so she could whisper, "I’m tired. Take me home?"

Spike nodded, more than ready to get as far away from Riley as possible.

Chapter Eight



When Buffy woke the next morning she could barely open her eyes. The only sound she could hear was the blood pounding in her ears. She stirred a little before she felt an arm wrapped around her waist. When she pushed back slightly in surprise, she came into contact with someone’s hard chest.

Buffy’s eyes sprang open immediately. The last thing she remembered was going to that club with Faith and drinking at the bar with Riley. Now she was lying in someone else’s bed in an unfamiliar room.

The arm around her waist tightened its hold on her. She moved her head back in surprise, hitting the head behind her.

"Bloody hell!"

Buffy jumped out of the bed and began pacing around the room, trying to find her things. "Not again," she muttered under her breath.

Spike was holding his nose. "What’d you do that for?" he asked wincing in pain. "I think you broke my nose!"

Buffy ignored his cries. "What happened? Did we, you know, again? What happened to Faith?" Her eyes widened as she remembered that she’d stayed out all night. "My father’s going to kill me!"

Spike laid back against the pillows and rubbed his sleepy eyes. "You mean you don’t remember?" Buffy shook her head nervously. "Nothing happened, princess," he assured her. "You wouldn’t tell me where you lived so I brought you back here. I was set to sleep on the couch, but you insisted I stay in here with you."

Buffy visibly relaxed and took a seat on the bed next to Spike. "I mean, it’s not that I don’t want to," she quickly explained. "I just want us both to be sober when we do."

"Same here." Spike pushed the sheet off his lower body, and Buffy was relieved to see he was wearing a pair of boxer shorts. "You feel like breakfast?"

Buffy felt her stomach turn at the thought of consuming food. "Not yet," she replied. "Just water and aspirin for me."

"After the way you were pounding the shots back last night, I’m not surprised," he told her with a laugh. "You don’t remember anything?"

"Only a little bit from the beginning of the night," she confessed. An image of Spike with other women flashed through her brain. "Were you there on a date?" She did her best not to sound jealous.

"We went over this last night, pet. You’ve met them both already, Darla and Fred. Angel and Gunn’s girlfriends."

Buffy blushed. "Right, now I remember."

Spike chuckled as he left the room. He returned a minute later with her requested water and aspirin. Buffy graciously accepted the medicine, and gulped down the entire glass of water. Spike sat down next to her on the bed, taking her face in his hands. Their lips met in what started out as a slow, gentle kiss but quickly turned passionate.

Buffy was the first to pull away. She patted down her tousled hair self consciously. "I’m all gross. My hair’s all messed up, my makeup is probably smeared all over my face and I smell like a liquor store."

She started to push him away, but he wrapped his arms tightly around her. He gave her a soft peck on the lips. "You’re not ‘all gross’. You’re beautiful."

Buffy smiled as he leaned in again to kiss her. He pushed her back against the bed, placing his arms either side of her and hovering over her, never breaking the kiss. She wrapped her arms around his back from underneath his arms and pulled him against her. She let out a barely audible gasp as she felt his erect member poking into her stomach.

Spike lifted himself off of her as soon as he heard her shocked gasp. He didn’t want them to make another mistake and have her run off, never to be heard from again, again. "I’m sorry." He started to roll away from her but she pulled him back.

"Don’t be," she insisted, pulling him back so he was hovering over her again. "I don’t know why I did that, but I’m ready. I want to. With you." Her cheeks were turning a deep shade of crimson with each labored breath she took.

Spike leaned down to kiss the tip of her nose, her nervous babble adorable to him. He pushed himself up again, this time to search for something in the top drawer of his night table.

Buffy pulled him back again. "We don’t need that," she told him. "I’m on the pill."

"Are you sure? The pill doesn’t protect against everything," he warned her his hand still in the drawer.

"Are you safe?" He nodded. "Well you’re the only guy I’ve ever been with...so, I’m sure." She paused. "I trust you."

Their lips connected again in a fiery kiss. She didn’t know why, but she did trust him, a man she’d only known for a couple of weeks.

Her body arched against his as he lifted her flimsy halter top over her head. He trailed kisses up her arm, across her shoulder, down her neck and finally to her bare breast. "Oh..." she moaned as his tongue caressed her hardening nipple. Before her brain registered what she was doing, her hand had slid under the waistband of his boxers and was taking hold of his cock.

Spike’s mouth left her breast to claim her lips. "Buffy," he breathed as her small hand pumped him slowly. The effect she had on him was incredible. In one tug he had her miniskirt and panties down her legs and thrown on the floor. He groaned as Buffy’s hand stopped its movements until he felt her freeing him from his boxers.

Spike looked into her eyes before poising himself at her entrance, much like he’d done the first and only night they’d ever been together. Never breaking eye contact, he slid inside her. She was unbelievably wet already, and just as tight as she’d been their first time.

Buffy closed her eyes as many emotions ran through her, pleasure being the most dominant. "Don’t." She quickly looked back up at Spike who was still staring down at her, scared she had done something wrong. "Don’t close your eyes." She nodded, the intensity between them was electrifying, as lowered his head down to hers.

Spike’s thrusts became longer and harder as he neared climax. Using his left hand to support his body weight above her, his right hand found its way to fondle her breasts helping her reach her impending orgasm.

"Spike, I’m almost there," she whispered frantically, trying to control the burning sensation in her stomach.

His next thrust rubbed against her clit in just the right way, sending her over the edge, screaming his name as she rode out her release.

"Oh, God Buffy ...bloody amazing..." Spike followed right behind her finally breaking eye contact and collapsing on top of her.



"Mmm," Buffy mumbled against Spike’s lips. "I have to go inside now."

Spike only tightened his hold on her. "And why’s that?" He deepened the kiss, not giving her a chance to answer.

If not for the lack of oxygen getting to her brain, Buffy could have stayed in his arms kissing him forever. She finally broke the kiss and pulled her head away from his. "Because now I really am all gross. I need a shower."

Spike smirked at her. "Well so do I," he told her matter-of-factly. "What do you say we kill two birds with one stone and you come back to my place so we can shower together." He leaned into peck her lips. "Save water."

Buffy laughed, regretfully disentangling herself from his embrace. "Sounds like fun, but no."

"I’ll call you tonight," he called as she closed the door. Buffy said a silent prayer that her father and stepmother’s cars were not in the driveway or garage as she ran inside her house.



"I’m sorry, Daddy....I know I made you worry.....next time Faith and I stay in and rent movies I’ll pack a bag and stay over so you’ll know where I am in case I fall asleep again...okay, see you at dinner. Bye." Buffy hung up the phone with a sigh. She couldn’t believe her father had actually noticed her absence this morning, and she was even more shocked that he was playing the concerned parent. Good thing nothing could destroy her good mood. Just thinking about Spike made her happy.

"So you were at Faith’s all night?"

Buffy looked up to find Dawn standing in front of her, arms crossed in front of her chest. "Yeah, why?" Buffy stood from the stool she’d been sitting on at the counter and made her way into the kitchen behind it.

"Since when does Faith drive?"

Buffy took out a glass, still not feeling well enough to ingest anything but water and more pain medication. "Since we moved to Sunnydale."

"Really," Dawn replied skeptically. She waited until Buffy had taken a large gulp of water. "Since when does Faith have manly features and bleached blonde hair?"

Buffy began to choke on her water. Dawn grinned evilly. "What?" Buffy managed to croak out.

"Well whoever dropped you off this morning didn’t look anything like Faith," Dawn explained. "He actually reminds me of a guy I saw at the mall once. I remember him because I was wondering if there was some lame Billy Idol convention in town that I didn’t know about." Dawn stopped her rambling and looked at Buffy who was pouring herself another glass of water. "So, who is he?"

Buffy thought over her options. She could either lie to Dawn, making Dawn her enemy for the rest of the summer with no chance of having someone to cover for her at home or she could tell Dawn a watered down version of the truth and have Dawn remain her ally against her father and stepmother. Buffy sighed, pushing Dawn to take a seat at one of the stools. "Okay, Faith and I went out last night. We stayed out all night and I met him through Faith. Faith doesn’t drive and I wanted to get home fast so he offered to give me a ride."

"So if he, like, your boyfriend?" Dawn asked excitedly. "And don’t deny it, I saw you two with the smoochies in his car."

Buffy blushed at her sister’s blunt observation. "I don’t know if he’s my boyfriend yet. But we are dating," she told Dawn. "You better not tell Dad anything about this!" she threatened.

Dawn held up her hands in surrender. Buffy was so happy she actually leaned foward and hugged her sister. Dawn was shocked by her sister’s good mood, but tightened the hug. Although she’d never admit it to anyone, she was hoping this summer could bring her and Buffy closer. She smiled at the thought. Maybe Buffy’s good mood was contagious.

Chapter Nine



"...and then after the movie we went back to his place..." Buffy let her voice trail off to a dreamy sigh.

Willow giggled on the other end of the line. "And your dad is okay with you spending the night at Spike’s?"

Buffy cleared her throat. "Not exactly," she admitted. "He thinks I was sleeping over Faith’s." She looked over at the clock on her night stand. "Anyway, I’ve still got twenty five minutes before I have to start getting ready. We’re going to a bonfire with his friends tonight."

"Are you nervous about meeting his friends?"

"Well, now that you mention it, yeah!" Buffy exclaimed. "Not only do they know I ran out on him in Sunnydale, but they're all older than he is. I’m going to have nothing in common with any of them!"

"Except for Spike," Willow pointed out. "I wouldn’t worry, Buffy. I’m sure you’re going to have a great time tonight."

"Thanks, Wills. God, listen to me I’ve been talking about myself the whole time. How’s your love life going?"

"Well now that you mention it..."

"Willow Rosenberg! Don’t tell me you and Xander finally hooked up?"

"No, but Xander has hooked up with someone else. Someone tall, brunette, and tactless."

Buffy gasped. "No way! Xander and Cordelia? How did that happen?"

"They were assigned to work together in the library for some history project. I was helping Mr. Giles, the librarian, put some books away when I sorta stumbled upon them making out in the stacks."

"Aw, Will, I’m sorry. That must have been hard for you to see." Buffy paused, remembering her friend's words just minutes before. "But wait, I thought you said you had something going on?"

"I do!" Willow responded excitedly. "His name is Oz and he’s going to be a senior next year. He’s the lead guitarist for the band ‘Dingoes Ate my Baby’ that plays at the Bronze sometimes."

"That’s great, Will! If anyone deserves a good, stable guy it’s you." Buffy looked over at the clock again. "Oh, shit! I have to start getting ready. I’ll call you tomorrow and I want more details!"



Buffy tried to hide her nervousness as she followed Spike down the beach. She couldn’t even imagine what his friends thought of her, especially after what she’d overheard Darla and Fred saying that day in Sunnydale. They must think of her as just another one of Spike’s many one-night stands. A pang of jealousy ran through her as she thought of Spike being with other women, but she reminded herself that what they had was different.

Spike, however, couldn’t contain his practically giddy state. His friends were finally going to meet Buffy, the only woman who’d ever left him wanting more. And after they met her, they were surely going to love her immediately. Maybe then they would stop making jokes at his expense about that night in Sunnydale.

"William," Angel greeted him as the couple neared the group.

Spike tried to scowl at the use of his given name, but was in much too good a mood to be bothered by Angel’s teasing. "Nice to see you too, Peaches." He turned his attention to the others. "Guys, this is Buffy," he introduced them. "Buffy, this is everyone."

Darla stepped foward rolling her eyes at Spike’s lame introduction. Although she hadn’t been part of the group long she’d quickly made herself a permanent fixture. "I’m Darla," she clarified. "But we already sorta met."

Buffy blushed a deep red. "Yeah, about that-"

"No need to explain. I’ve seen Spike in the morning, it’s not a pretty sight," she teased earning a laugh from everyone else and a ‘hey ’ from Spike. "Anyway, this is Angel," she introduced the tall brunette with his arm around her waist. "And this is Fred and Gunn. They just moved here from Sunnydale. Isn’t that where you’re from?"

Buffy palms started sweating. She definitely did not want to talk about herself. "Yeah," she answered quickly. "And where are you from?"

"Actually I’m originally from New York," Darla started. Buffy sighed with relief as Darla began talking animatedly about the various places she’d lived. She hoped she could keep the conversation off herself tonight, she really didn’t need Darla to get suspicious. "...and then I moved to San Diego with my brother..."



Spike waited until Buffy was refilling her drink before asking for his friends’ opinions. He hoped they were positive or else he’d have to get himself some new friends. Don’t be stupid, Spike, he warned himself. She told you herself, this is nothing more than a summer fling.

"So, what do you think?"

"She’s very sweet," Fred told him with a smile.

Spike was looking at Darla; her opinion was what he was really after. She was the only one he trusted to be completely honest about Buffy. Darla seemed to contemplate what she was going to say. Finally, when Spike felt like he was going to die from curiosity, she said, "She’s a lot cooler than I expected, based on my first impression of her. Definitely a keeper."

Spike beamed. It wasn’t often he acted like such a love struck fool, but he just couldn’t help himself. He was ecstatic at Darla’s review.

Angel cleared his throat. "What Darla means is that she’s a good girl to have a great summer with." Spike had told him how Buffy wanted to keep their relationship limited to this summer, and Angel didn’t want to see his friend hurt come the end of August.

"Right," Darla quickly amended.

"We’ll see about that, now won’t we." Spike looked over to where Buffy stood, trapped in conversation with Angel’s cousin, Harmony Kendall. "I’m gonna marry that girl," he said quietly, barely aware that the words had crossed his lips.

Jaws dropped at the admission. They were all very aware that Buffy would be leaving L.A. and Spike at the end of the summer. Darla was the only one able to find her voice. "Oh, gross," she tried to joke. "You can do way better than Harmony!" She attempted to laugh, but stopped when she realized no one else thought it was funny. That, or they weren’t even paying attention to her.

"Uh, Spike," Gunn started when his vocal cords were finally able to produce sound. "Buffy’s a great girl and all, but don’t you think it’s a little too soon to be thinking about the big ‘M’?"

Spike chuckled. "Of course it’s too early, are you daft?" He looked at his friends like they were insane. "I was thinking more along the lines of a couple‘a years from now."

That didn’t give his friends much relief. They all started preparing for the inevitable, hoping Spike wouldn’t be the gigantic mess he had been after Buffy left him the first time. Unfortunately they all knew he’d be worse. Much worse.



Buffy giggled against Spike’s chest. She was having a great time with his friends, and had consumed one too many wine coolers with Darla and Fred. "I’m turning into a complete luch...lusk...leech? Whoever, I’m drunk again. Oh, where are we going?" Buffy asked, sounding like a small child as Spike led her away from the bonfire, his arm protectively around her shoulders.

"Time for a little privacy."

"Sounds good to me!" Buffy replied cheerfully.

When they finally stopped, Buffy took in her surroundings. Spike had taken off his sweatshirt and put it on the sand next to two large rocks that separated them from the party. He sat down on his sweatshirt and motioned for her to sit between his legs. Buffy smiled coquettishly and instead straddled his legs, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Spike smiled up at her. "Buffy want to play?" he asked innocently while cupping her ass with both hands and pushing her against his chest.

"Buffy want you," she replied bringing her lips to his in a passionate kiss.

The force of her kiss taking him by surprise, Spike fell back against the cool sand. Buffy broke the kiss and giggled again. She was now hovering over him on her hands and knees. "Oops."

God, she is amazing, he thought as he gazed up at her.

Buffy sat back against his stomach. "I bet you take all the girls here."

"Actually I come here to get away from all the girls," he told her honestly. "This spot is reserved for the woman I-"

"Buffy!" Darla’s squeal cut him off. "I’ve been looking for you everywhere!"

Spike gulped down the lump that had formed in his throat. What was he thinking. Thank God Darla had showed up when she did! What he was just going to say...

Buffy leaned down to kiss him quickly before jumping up.

"Bad Spike. Not nice to keep Buffy all to yourself! You get to see her everyday!" Darla reprimanded him through her drunken stupor. "We," she pointed between Buffy and herself, "have some more drinking and girl talk to do."

Spike stood, picking up his sweatshirt in the process, and started walking after the giggling duo. He groaned out loud, thankful that no one was around to hear. Oh, bloody hell he cursed inwardly. This sort of thing wasn’t supposed to happen to him He knew he shouldn’t get so attached to the petite blonde, but he found it very hard not to. I can’t help it, he defended himself...to himself. I’m in love with her.

Chapter Ten



"Buffy, hurry up! You’ve been in there for forty five minutes!"

Buffy rolled her eyes as she heard her sister banging furiously on the bathroom door.

"Other people in this house need to shower, too, you know!"

After rinsing herself off once more, Buffy turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. "Chill out!" she called back wrapping a towel around her body. She took another towel to dry her hair as she opened the medicine cabinet. Immediately finding what she was looking for, she opened the circular case only to find it empty. "Oh great," she groaned, slapping her hand to her forehead. She had run out of the birth control pills the day before, but it had completely slipped her mind until that moment.

Buffy quickly opened the door to see Dawn standing on the other side with her arms crossed in frustration. "Finally!" she cried.

Buffy ignored Dawn, walking past her to find their stepmother.



"So I’m out until Friday," Buffy explained to Faith later that night. They were walking down a crowded city street, looking for a decent club. Only certain clubs were open on Tuesday nights, and the ones Faith knew of were dead.

"That sucks," Faith responded after hearing Buffy’s saga over birth control pills. "Me, I hate rubbers."

"Yeah, me too, but Donna’s going to be out of town at a spa until then and I can’t ask my dad to get them for me!"

Faith nodded, eyeing someplace across the busy street. "That place looks pretty rockin. Wait here. I’ll go talk to the bouncer."

Before Buffy even had a chance to respond, Faith was rushing across the street narrowly escaping death by the passing cars.

"Buffy Summers?"

Buffy turned around at the sound of a familiar voice. "Robin?" she asked incredulously. He smiled, stepping closer and embracing her in a hug. "Ohmigod! It’s been so long. What are you doing here?"



"I’m so stuffed!" Darla exclaimed latching onto Angel’s arm as they walked back to his apartment. They’d just come from an expensive restaurant, and Darla had decided to go for appetizers, soup, salad, main course, and dessert. Angel didn’t mind, though. He loved having a girlfriend who wasn’t embarrassed to eat around him.

"Really? You barely ate anything," he teased her.

Darla smacked his stomach playfully. "You had exactly as much as I did!"

"I know, I’m joking!" Angel spotted two people embracing only a few feet ahead of them, a blonde in the shortest skirt he’d ever seen in person and a tall black man. The blonde looked very familiar from the back, and Angel racked his brain trying to think of where he knew her. Maybe one of the prostitutes we helped in the case against that abusive pimp, he thought to himself.

"Is that Buffy?" Darla asked from beside him as they were getting closer. The blonde had just turned her head to give the man a kiss on the cheek, giving them a perfect view of her profile.

Angel’s eyes widened in realization. Buffy, the woman Spike had delusions of marrying, was standing on a busy Los Angeles street corner, kissing and embracing another man. Angel picked up his pace, practically dragging Darla behind him in pursuit of Buffy. When they finally reached the couple, Angel stood silently for a moment trying not to uncharacteristically lash out on the woman who was quickly becoming his friend. "Buffy?" he asked in a darker tone than usual.



Buffy turned around at yet another familiar voice calling her name. What a night for surprises! "Angel! Darla!" she greeted with a huge smile. "What are you guys doing here?"

Angel, who was glaring at Robin, remained silent. "Out for dinner," Darla answered smiling back, hoping Angel was wrong about the situation.

"What about you?" Angel asked finding his voice. "Out on a date?"

Buffy looked confused before realizing what Angel thought. "What? No!" She gestured to Robin. "This is an old friend of mine, Robin. Robin, these are my boyfriend’s friends, Darla and Angel."

Angel let out a sigh of relief as Robin stepped foward to shake his hand. "Nice to meet you," Angel said, the polite tone creeping back into his voice.

Buffy’s hands flew to her hips. "You two thought I was cheating on Spike?"

"Well, uh, we just thought..." Angel’s voice trailed off. "I’m sorry Buffy but all we saw was you and this guy hugging and kissing. We jumped to conclusions."

"We’re sorry," Darla offered, although she hadn’t been completely convinced of Buffy’s guilt like Angel had been.

Buffy’s frown slowly disappeared. She was about to say something when Faith called out to her. "Hey, B! Let’s go, we’re in!"

Buffy smiled apologetically at the three people around her. "Sorry, I’ve gotta run. I’ll tell Spike you said hi," she called before running to catch up with Faith.



It was Thursday night and Buffy was curled up next to Spike on his sofa watching Jerry McGuire. The movie had only come out on video a few months before, but it had quickly become Buffy’s favorite. When Spike had suggested renting movies and staying in, Buffy had immediately agreed and was ecstatic when Spike suggested she pick the movie.

Just as her favorite part was coming up, she felt Spike’s hand caressing her stomach and drifting lower. She smacked his hand lightly, stopping his movements, but keeping his hand in place. "Watch the movie," she ordered. "The best part is coming up."

"You mean there’s actually one good part in this movie?" Spike asked. "It’s about bleedin time!"

Buffy put a finger up to her lips. "Shh!" she quieted him, returning her attention to the movie.

Spike’s hand resumed its ministrations while she was engrossed in the movie. It made its way down to her denim clad mound and began rubbing through her jeans. Buffy pretended not to feel anything, seemingly giving her full attention to the movie and not him.

After getting no response from Buffy, Spike took his hand and shoved it down the front of her jeans. Sliding his hand underneath her panties, he was pleasantly surprised to find her much wetter than she was letting on and wasted no time in driving two fingers into her.

"Oh!" Buffy cried out in surprise. She had expected him to continue teasing her, not dive straight inside.

Spike grinned at her mischievously. "Got your attention, luv?"

Buffy nodded wordlessly. Forgetting all about her favorite film, she tilted her head towards his and kissed him passionately.

Spike pushed her back against the arm of the couch, hovering over her. With his fingers still inside her, he unbuttoned her jeans and slid them down her legs granting him easier access. Soon after adding a third finger, he pulled her thong down and positioned himself lower on her body.

Buffy pushed her jeans and underwear off her legs with her bare feet. She spread her legs wide for Spike, who was now kneeling in between them. Spike brought his head down to where his fingers were already pumping into her and wrapped his mouth around her swollen clit, sucking gently on it.

Buffy’s hips arched against his face, and Spike used his free hand to push her back down onto the couch. "Spike!" Buffy cried between pants. She grabbed his shoulders and pulled him up to kiss her. She started untying his sweat pants. "I want you inside me! Now!"

Spike grinned against her lips. "I am inside you, pet."

Spike moaned as Buffy moved her hand under his pants to take hold of his erection. Her hand left him briefly to strip him of all his clothes. Spike fell to the floor as she frantically pulled his white t-shirt over his head. He hit the carpet with a ‘thud’, but barely had time to get up before a newly naked Buffy was straddling him. Without a moments hesitation Buffy plunged herself down onto his cock.

Spike fondled her breasts as she began to ride him, rolling both of her hardened peaks between his thumbs and forefingers. Spike tried to prolong his climax as Buffy started accelerating her pace. "Oh...God! So...bloody...close!"

Buffy moaned; she loved the feeling of his hands on her breasts. Spike freed one of his hands and reached between them and pinched her clit gently, eliciting more moans and mewls. Buffy came just moments before Spike felt his orgasm beginning.

Spike screamed out her name as he came deep inside her. "Oh, God! I love you so much!" he yelled, still riding out his climax. The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself. He kept his eyes closed, afraid of what he’d see in hers if he opened them.

Buffy’s heart stopped when she heard him say it. He loves me? she thought excitedly. Or maybe he just said it in the heat of the moment. Oh, God what do I do now? She rolled off Spike laying next to him on the carpet.

Spike felt like a complete ponce. Not only had he declared his love for her at the worst possible time, but she hadn’t said anything back! He rolled onto his side, looking down at her. "Buffy, did you hear me?" Even if she didn’t feel the same way for him, he still wanted her to know how he felt about her.

Buffy nodded.

"I meant it," he assured her. "I love you, Buffy."

A single tear rolled down her cheek at his admission. How could he love her? She was deceiving him on a daily basis, lying to him about everything except for her name. This man loved her. The man she happened to be completely, hopelessly in love with, loved her back.

Spike wiped her cheek with the pad of his thumb. "I love you, too," she said quietly.

Spike leaned down to kiss her. Only then did it hit her. They’d had sex, totally unprotected sex Spike laid back bringing her with him. She rested her head against his chest contemplating on telling him that she had run out of birth control pills and that they had just taken a major risk.

She dismissed the thoughts. It had only been once. She probably still had some of the pill in her system. Lots of people had unprotected sex without getting pregnant. I’ll take it tomorrow and everything will be fine, she assured herself.

Chapter Eleven



It was her last day in L.A. and Buffy was sunbathing next to the pool in her father’s backyard. She had just enough time to work on her tan and go for a swim before she had to get ready for her date with Spike. Her last date with Spike.

She knew how it was supposed to end. They were supposed to say their goodbyes and then she would leave L.A. with three month’s worth of memories and never look back. But somehow, she knew that wasn’t going to happen. Spike was stubborn and in love with her, and he wasn’t going to let her go without a fight.

Buffy felt a lump forming in her throat at the mere thought of losing Spike forever. But there was no way he would stay with her when he learned that she was sixteen and had been lying to him since they met. She needed to keep her resolve, even though it was quite possible she’d never feel the way she did when she was with him again.

Discarding her sunglasses on the nearby table, Buffy dove into the warm pool water. She started swimming laps, faster and faster, trying to work off her frustration.

She was so caught up in her own thoughts, she barely noticed when someone called out her name. Buffy lifted her head out of the water to see her father and sister standing above her. Her brow wrinkled in confusion, wasn’t her father supposed to be at work?

"Dad? What are you doing here?" she asked, stepping up the ladder and taking the towel her father offered her. Only then did she notice the tears in her sister’s eyes. "What’s going on?"

Dawn flung herself onto Buffy, wrapping her arms around her older sister and not caring that she was getting wet in the process. Before Hank could answer Buffy’s questions, Dawn pulled back slightly so she was looking into green eyes. "It’s Mom."



The car ride home was a silent one. Buffy spent most of the time staring out the window urging the car to go faster, to get her to her mother. Hank tried engaging in conversation, but neither of the girls answered with more than a mumbled word.

Hank turned up the volume of the radio just as a new song started. Buffy’s ears perked up as Dawn made a sour face. "What are we listening to, Dad?" she asked, extending her hand to change the station.

"No, keep it on," Buffy requested from the backseat. It was one of Spike’s songs, she didn’t know the name or the band that played it, but she knew she’d heard it in his apartment.

Dawn turned around to give her sister a confused glance, this was hardly Buffy's usual choice of music, but Buffy was oblivious. Must have something to do with her new punk rock boyfriend, Dawn figured turning her attention back to her fingernails.

Spike. For the first time since her father had informed her of her mother's sudden illness, she remembered Spike and their date. She felt a pang of guilt and sadness that she would never have a chance to say goodbye to him. Her thoughts traveled back to the previous night when both had tried so hard not to mention what was going to happen in less than twenty four hours.

"Spike!"

"Buffy!"

They’d climaxed together. As soon as she felt him cum inside her, she collapsed against his chest. Spike rolled them onto their sides, never pulling out of her heat. He propped himself up on his elbow and drew lazy circles on her hip while staring at her.

Buffy finally noticed his gaze and looked up at him from where her head was lying on the pillow. "What?" she asked, her already flushed cheeks reddening.

Spike leaned down to kiss her softly. "I’m in love with you," he replied simply.

Buffy’s smile froze on her lips. At sixteen she had already found what most people searched their whole lives for, and she couldn’t even keep it. How was that fair?

"Not quite the reaction I was hoping for," he joked although he knew the reason for her change in mood. "We’ll be fine, kitten," he promised.

Forgetting her sad thoughts, she focused on Spike and wished his promises could be true. In his mind eighteen year old Buffy would go back to Sunnydale and her boyfriend would visit her at UCSD whenever he got the chance. She put on a smile for his sake. "Yeah we will," she agreed pushing herself closer to him, wanting to forget that tomorrow she’d be leaving the love of her life.



"Dad, can I use your phone?" Buffy asked after she had seen her mother. Dr. Walsh, her mother’s physician, had assured them that everything was alright for now, but she needed to run more tests to find out what was causing Joyce such horrible migraines.

Hank handed Buffy the cell phone he’d leant her while she was staying in L.A. under the impression that Buffy was going to call Faith. He didn't need to know that she'd already said goodbye to Faith the day before, wanting to spend her entire last day with Spike.

Buffy made her way out of the hospital building and turned on the cell phone hitting the single digit she’d used most often during her trip. When Spike had originally given Buffy his number, she’d immediately stored it as speed dial number one. Buffy had always known she was leaving him, and had no delusions of a relationship when she returned to Sunnydale. Not having any way of getting in touch with him made that a little easier.

As soon as she heard his voice, a smile brightened her glum face. When she realized it was only his voicemail the smile quickly turned into a frown. This was her only chance to say goodbye to him, and she hated that it had to be over the phone never mind to his answering service.

When she heard the beep signaling her to leave her message, Buffy froze. All the speeches she’d prepared on the ride down from L.A. floated out of her brain and left her with nothing.

"It’s me," she started finally. "I’m sorry I have to say this to your voicemail, but I won’t have another chance to call you." She took a deep breath before finishing what she had to say. "I’m in Sunnydale right now. My mom got sick and I had to come home earlier than I thought. I wish I could have said goodbye to you in person, but we left as soon as we found out this morning. This summer with you was great, probably the best summer I’ll ever have. I wish so much that it didn’t have to end, but things are complicated. I love you and I’m sorry. Goodbye, William."

Buffy brushed the tears from her cheeks as she hung up the phone. She quickly deleted the number from the phone book and the speed dial list, before she had second thoughts. She choked back another wave of tears and ran back inside the hospital.



The next day, Joyce was released from the hospital, with Dr. Walsh promising to call the second the lab results were in her hands. Buffy was glad to be back in the familiar setting of her home, and immediately ran up the stairs and into her room.

Buffy laid back on her bed, trying her hardest not to think of Spike. She knew it would take a while before she was completely over him, maybe even months, but she had to move on.

She sat up on her bed when she heard a soft knock on her door. "Come in!"

The door opened to reveal a slightly older looking Willow. Buffy couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but something about her friend had changed and it wasn’t just her new haircut. "Will, your hair!" Buffy exclaimed. Willow fingered her shoulder length locks nervously. "I love it!"

The two friends hugged. "So how was your summer?" Willow asked when they pulled apart.

Buffy smiled despite the lone tear that rolled down her cheek. "Perfect."

Chapter Twelve



January 2002


Spike stared at Buffy wondering for a moment if this was some kind of sick joke. He’d worked for Mr. Summers even before he’d met Buffy. How could she be his boss’s daughter?

Angel nearly choked on the champagne he’d been drinking when Mr. Summers introduced them to his eldest daughter. From his side, Darla clapped his back, her own eyes wide in recognition. But, as usual, she kept her cool in a stressful situation and nudged Spike foward. "Nice to meet you," Darla called to Buffy from behind Spike with a smile.

Buffy couldn’t believe her eyes. The man she’d searched for five years before was standing right in front of her. She cleared her throat before extending her right hand to him. "Hello, Mr. Giles. I’m Buffy Summers." Spike grasped her hand, but still made no move to speak. Buffy shot a look over her shoulder at her sister, who in return mouthed something Spike couldn’t make out. Buffy cleared her throat again before turning back to her father. "Dad," she started quietly. "I just realized I left something for Sarah at the hotel." She kissed Hank’s cheek before picking up her daughter.

Spike could only watch as Buffy fled from the building, Dawn at her heels. Hank and his wife shared a look before returning to their many guests milling around the banquet hall.

"Would you excuse me? Need to have myself a smoke," he told his date before rushing out of the hall after Buffy.

Spike didn’t have to go very far before he found her. She was standing off the curb hailing a cab while her daughter and sister waited patiently on the sidewalk. "Buffy?" he called.

Buffy quickly turned. She didn’t know why she was surprised that he’d come to find her, she had run out as fast as she could to avoid him. "Mr. Giles, right?" she asked sheepishly.

"Don’t Mr. Giles me!" he exclaimed now standing in front of her. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Buffy sent him a glare as a taxi pulled up next to her, annoyed that he’d curse in front of a four year old. She ushered Dawn and Sarah inside before turning back to him. "I was attending a party. Now I’m going back to my hotel."

Spike felt like pulling his hair out of his head. "You know what I mean. Where the hell have you been for the past five years? You just left that summer, leaving me with nothing but a soddin voicemail! I think I deserve some explanations!"

"Spike, I’m tired," she told him with a sigh. "I can’t talk about this right now."

"Well when can you talk?" he asked trying his best to be patient with her.

"Tomorrow. I’m staying at the Four Seaons."

"Okay, I’ll be there," he agreed watching her step into the cab next to her daughter. He was still standing out there twenty minutes later, but now he was leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette.

Spike was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t notice as Angel approached him. "I thought this is what you’d be doing."

"Sod off." Spike took another drag of his cigarette before throwing it to the ground. As soon as it hit the pavement he had another one in his mouth.

Angel rolled his eyes. He had to admit he was getting tired of Buffy randomly showing up in Spike’s life and leaving Angel to tend to Spike’s bad moods. "You guys talk?"

Spike shook his head. "Tomorrow."

Angel watched as Spike disposed of another cigarette. Before Spike could pull out another from his pack, Angel grabbed his arm and started pulling him back inside the hall. "You still have lots of guests who want to congratulate you, William," he said grinning as Spike scowled.



Darla wished Angel would hurry back with Spike. She and Drusilla were sitting by the bar and Darla was trying to engage her friend in any other topic besides the blonde mystery that had just walked back into Spike’s life.

Spike hadn’t exactly been a social butterfly since Buffy had left him all those years before. He’d cried the entire first week, or so she imagined, since he didn’t leave his apartment once. The week after that he spent searching for her to no avail. Then came the drinking. Spike got drunk every night and the only contact he had with women was to resort back to several one night stands. There had been more than a couple of nights where he’d exploded in a drunken rage, which had been the reason he’d been evicted from his cushy apartment. He quickly found another one, one that didn’t remind him so much of Buffy. Angel had stayed with him for an entire week, helping him stop drinking and to get over Buffy. After that, Spike had gone back to a somewhat quieter version of himself. He could still be funny and sarcastic and mean as hell, but there was a sadness in his eyes that wouldn’t go away. Spike refused to engage in a relationship with another woman, saying it was ‘nothin but bloody pain’. Finally, years later, Darla had managed to talk Spike into taking a date to his big party and so she’d introduced him to her friend, Drusilla. They’d been on a couple of dates before the actual event, and that had been going okay until Buffy showed up out of nowhere again.

"Who was she?" Drusilla asked finally, interrupting Darla’s rant over another woman’s poor fashion sense.

"Huh?" Darla asked, pretending she had no idea who Drusilla was talking about.

Drusilla gave Darla a pointed look, and Darla relented. "Oh, her. She’s sort of a, um, I guess she’d be, well she’s his ex-girlfriend," she fumbled, leaving out the part where Spike had been completely in love with Buffy. As much as she hoped Spike could work things out with Buffy, she somehow doubted that would happen. More realistically, Buffy would leave again and Spike would fall to pieces. Again. Hopefully, this time he would have a budding relationship to fall back on. "But that was a long time ago," she added quickly.

Drusilla nodded, taking a sip of her Cosmopolitan. "I see," she replied, a frown marring her pretty face. She’d been a little wary of Darla setting her up with one of Angel’s friends, she usually didn’t need to go on a blind date to get a man. But on their first date, she and Spike had really hit it off. He was everything she’d been looking for, sexy, easy to talk to, not to mention rich with a great job. He was perfect and she had no intention of letting his blonde ex get in her way.

Drusilla looked up with an immediate smile plastered across her lips when she felt a hand on her back. "Is everything alright?" she asked.

Spike returned a forced smile. "It will be."



"She asleep?" Dawn asked from her place on the sofa.

Hank had gone all out, insisting they stay in one of the largest suites at the Four Seasons. The suite was almost the same size as Buffy’s apartment in Miami.

Buffy nodded and joined her sister in front of the big screen television. She tried to take the remote, but instead Dawn turned off the TV.

"So, Spike," Dawn started. "Can’t say I saw that one coming."

"Actually, you got there before I did," Buffy replied. "You could have at least warned me."

"I wasn’t sure it was him," Dawn defended herself.

Buffy snickered in disbelief. "There aren’t two of those in the world."

Dawn turned to look at her sister seriously. "Do you still love him?"

Buffy looked away. "I don’t know," she said quietly. "It’s been a long time."

"Well, you’re seeing him tomorrow. What are you going to tell him?"

"I have no idea," Buffy admitted. "Where do I even start?"

Dawn rolled her eyes. "How about, I was madly in love with you, got pregnant with your child, and was devastated when I couldn’t find you five years ago."

Buffy wished she could laugh at her sister’s antics, but all she wanted to do was cry. Why couldn’t she have found him five years ago when she needed him? She had kicked herself everyday for the past five years for never finding out enough about him to be able to track him down.

Dawn reached over to hug her sister, snapping her out of her reverie. "Good night."

Buffy turned the TV back on, there was no way she was getting any sleep tonight

Chapter Thirteen



Buffy eyed her reflection in the mirror carefully. She’d already changed six times since Spike had called to let her know he’d be coming to see her around lunchtime. Dawn had offered to take Sarah downstairs to the hotel pool for lunch, and Buffy was grateful. She wanted to see how Spike felt about her before he knew he had a daughter, and if he got a good look at Sarah he’d know for sure she was his. Sarah might have looked like Buffy from afar with her blonde hair and petite body, but up close she was a spitting image of her father with his sharp cheekbones and intense blue eyes.

Now she was onto her seventh outfit, which also happened to be her first: a pair of dark denim jeans that fit her just right, a casual pink halter top and a pair of her black boots. Buffy moved onto the bathroom to apply a little bit of make up. As she was coating her lips with gloss, she heard a knock at the door.

Buffy froze. With all the preparation she’d done on her outfit she’d forgotten to prepare what she was going to say to him At the second knock, Buffy threw down the container in her hand and rushed to answer the door.

Spike looked the same as she remembered him that day in the bookstore so many years before, except now his suit was Armani instead of Macy’s. She felt incredibly underdressed next to him.

"Just came from breakfast with clients," he explained his attire walking into the room.

"And I thought you got all dressed up for me," she joked, feigning disappointment.

Spike gave her his traditional smirk. "That too." He looked around the empty suite. "No kiddies around?"

"No, they’re down at the pool. I wanted to give us some time to talk, which is pretty impossible with them around." She walked further into the suite and sat on the arm chair across from a sofa. "Sit down," she offered. "I thought we could order room service and eat while we catch up." She paused. "Unless you’re not hungry, since you just came from breakfast."

"You know me, always hungry," he kidded taking the menu from her. "What do you want?"



Buffy and Spike spent the afternoon eating lunch and talking about their lives over the past few years. They steered clear of the more awkward subject of the past and were acting instead as if they were nothing more than old friends catching up, instead of two people who had once been in love with each other.

"Your daughter’s beautiful." Spike took a sip from his soda. "She looks just like you."

Actually, she looks just like you. "Thank you."

Spike couldn’t think of a single sensible thing to say to the woman sitting in front of him. Well, that was a lie. He could think of many things he wanted to say, but couldn’t bring himself to. Most of them revolved around Sarah and her father, and if her father or any other man was in the picture. But he decided to play it safe. "How long are you in town for?"

"Another week," she answered. "Then we go back to Miami."

"Right, Miami. You mentioned that before didn’t you."

"Yeah, I’m studying to be a teacher at the University of Miami and Dawn attends the local high school. She’ll be a senior next year," she told him with a smile, proud of her younger sister. "My friend Tara owns her own day care, so she watches Sarah for me while Dawn and I are at school."

"Sounds like you’ve got a lot going on there." Buffy remained silent at that and Spike tried not to look as disappointed as he felt. Their lives were so different now compared to five years ago. They lived on opposite sides of the country for heaven’s sake Right now, he couldn’t imagine how they could make a relationship between them work and he knew that Buffy was thinking the same thing.




"Dad called ahead and made a reservation for us, so we shouldn’t have to wait that long," Dawn said as they walked into Luce, an expensive Italian restaurant. "And it’s on him, so make sure you eat up!"

"Don’t worry about that," Xander assured her. "I wore my stretchy pants tonight."

Faith groaned. "This is, like, the nicest restaurant we’ve ever been to and you have to say something like that?"

Buffy chuckled at her friends. After Buffy had Sarah, Faith had come to Sunnydale for a visit. Buffy introduced Faith to Xander who was just getting over a break up with Cordelia. What had started out as something casual for them both, had turned into much more and Buffy had been the maid of honor at their wedding last year.

"I’ll see how long ‘til our table is ready," Buffy offered, walking past her friends to the maitre’d.



"Five minutes."

Buffy thanked the maitre’d and turned to walk back to her party. "Spike?"

Spike had just walked into the same restaurant on a date with Drusilla. He had been about to inquire about his own reservation when Buffy appeared before him. "Buffy, hi."

"What are you doing here?" she asked, still in shock.

"Uh, planned on eating, how about you?" he replied with an awkward laugh. Buffy didn’t crack a smile, but he noticed her gaze had drifted from him to Drusilla. "You here alone?"

Buffy looked back at him, clearing her mind of the millions of questions running around. "No," she answered finally. "I’m here with my friends." As she said it she noticed they were standing right behind her along with a host who was waiting to show them to a table. "Uh, you remember Faith?"

Spike nodded, noticing the calming hand Xander placed on Buffy’s shoulder. "Nice to see you again."

"Same here," Faith replied giving him a thin smile.

"And this is Xander." Spike extended his hand to Xander, who took it but glared at Spike the whole time. "My sister Dawn, and this is my daughter Sarah," she finally introduced them thankful that Sarah was tired and cuddled in Dawn’s arms.

Spike smiled at them and then felt someone shift next to him. He’d completely forgotten about Drusilla! "This is, Drusilla." He paused, not wanting to say what he was about to. "My girlfriend."

"We really should be getting to our table, Buffy," Dawn interrupted. "Nice meeting you, Spike."

Buffy nodded, now in complete shock. How had he forgotten to mention that he had a girlfriend? "Enjoy your dinner," was all she managed to say.

"You too, Bunny," Drusilla called after her with a glare. She was fuming that all it took was Buffy’s mere presence to make Spike forget all about her. Latching herself onto his arm as he walked further into the restaurant she tried to forget about Buffy. Just like she planned on making Spike forget about Buffy after dinner.



"Bunny? Who does goth bitch think she’s talking to?" Faith seethed angrily.

"Faith." Buffy hissed, looking over to where her daughter was coloring in the books Buffy had brought with them.

"I’m sorry, but if I ever see her again, she’s gonna get a major a-butt kicking." Faith quickly censored herself.

"Who cares about her?" Xander asked taking a sip of his beer. "What about Captain Peroxide? Mr. I’m too much of a B-A-S-T-A-R-D to even say hi to my kid."

"Xander!" Buffy scolded.

"What? I spelt it out," he defended himself. "She can’t spell yet can she?"

"No, I mean Xander! He doesn’t know she’s his daughter yet."

Dawn looked up from the picture she was helping her niece color. "What? Buffy, when are you planning on telling him this crucial piece of information?"

Buffy played with her napkin. "I just want to know how he feels about me before I tell him," she explained. "I mean what if he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore, but finds out about Sarah and decides to be with me just because it’s the ‘right’ thing to do? He’d end up hating me."

"I think you’re getting a little carried away," Dawn said. "Who says he’ll even do the ‘right’ thing when he does find out?" Buffy shot her a glare. "All I’m saying is most guy saren’t like that. There’s all that shared custody, weekends and holidays crap."

"What’s crap?" Sarah asked, looking up from her coloring book for the first time.

Buffy was now shooting Dawn a death glare. "She said wrap, honey. Like wrapping paper for the holidays." Sarah didn’t look convinced, but went back to coloring anyway. "I’m going to tell him. Soon."

"So, what are you having, sweetie?" Xander asked Faith, understanding from Buffy’s tone that the conversation was over.

"I’m thinking I’m gonna start off with some Minestrone soup, then I’ll have the cocktail shrimp..."

Buffy tuned out her friends and looked over to the table she’d seen Spike and Drusilla be seated at. She definitely had the worst luck in the world. After five years of not knowing how to get in touch with Spike, she finally finds him and he has a girlfriend. Buffy slumped back against her seat dejectedly. Suddenly she didn’t have much of an appetite.



"Sorry pet, what did you say?" Spike asked Drusilla for the hundredth time since they’d been seated.

Drusilla fought the urge to sigh and roll her eyes. "I asked how old Buffy is."

"Well, she was eighteen when I met her so she should be about twenty three now," he answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, she looks younger. Too young to have a daughter that age."

Spike shrugged. "She must have got pregnant shortly after we broke up." No need to tell his new girlfriend, that Buffy had left him high and dry.

Drusilla started talking again, this time not about Buffy but about a new movie that was coming out that she wanted them to see together. She noticed Spike’s gaze drifting across the room, and was inwardly fuming. The only time he wasn’t thinking about Buffy was when he was talking about her! "What do you think?" she asked.

Spike’s head shot back to Drusilla. "Sorry, what did you say?"

Chapter Fourteen



Buffy and Dawn were lounging by the pool sunbathing. Dawn was lying on her stomach reading Cosmo while Buffy was sitting up watching Sarah play by the steps of the pool.

"So, I still can’t believe Spike is the famous William Giles that Dad is always talking about," Dawn commented looking away from her magazine.

"Yeah, I know," Buffy agreed. Not wanting to take the same conversation they’d been having since Spike’s party any further, Buffy hailed down a waiter and ordered herself a margarita. "Want anything?"

"Make that two," Dawn told the waiter. Before Buffy could stop him, he was gone to get their drinks. Dawn grinned evilly.

"Alright but just one!" Buffy warned.

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Have you decided when you’re going to tell Spike about Sarah yet?"

Buffy sighed. "No, not yet."

"Well, get a move on it already Don’t you think he deserves to know?" Buffy nodded, but remained silent. "And I mean you wanna get back together with the guy, but you haven’t even seen him since Luce the other night."

"I’ll tell him when the time is right."

"C’mon it can’t be any harder than telling Mom and Dad." Dawn chuckled. "I bet you thought you’d never have to go through that again, huh?"



November 1997

"Okay, either I’ll call you right after or I’ll be at your house because my Mom’s gonna kick me out."

Buffy hung up the phone to Willow dreading what she was about to do next. Three weeks ago, she’d found out she was pregnant. Everyday since then, she’d wanted to tell her mother but always managed to find a way out of it. The only person she’d confided in had been Willow and it was killing her to keep this monumental secret to herself.

Buffy made her way downstairs slowly. Both her mother and Dawn were sitting in the living room watching television, and laughing at some comedy. The sight of them laughing almost made her turn around and march back upstairs. But she was determined not to put it off any longer than she already had. She’d decided to keep this baby and now she had to deal with the consequences.

"Mom?" Buffy started as she entered the living room. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure, honey." Joyce turned off the television and Dawn stood from the couch, prepared to go upstairs during a conversation she was sure she wasn’t allowed to be present for.

"I need to talk to you, too, Dawn." Dawn froze in her tracks and sat back down as Buffy sat on the chair across from them.

Joyce’s face was creased with worry. The last thing Buffy wanted to do was worry her mother in her delicate condition since she’d been going in and out of hospitals to get rid of the brain tumor they’d found two months ago, but she had to let her secret out.

"What is it, Buffy?" Joyce asked. "Is something wrong?"

Buffy took a deep breath. "Well, it depends on your definition of wrong." She looked down at her clasped hands in her lap. "I’m pregnant," she confessed quietly, not looking up to see the shocked faces of her family.

Joyce was silent. Buffy finally looked up and saw her mother’s mouth hanging open. She quickly closed it. "I’m sorry. I thought I heard you say you’re pregnant."

"I did. I am."

Joyce inhaled sharply. "When did this happen?" she asked evenly trying to control her emotions.

"This summer in L.A."

"I knew it!" Joyce exclaimed angrily. "I knew he couldn’t watch you girls properly. That’s it, you are not going up there next summer. He’ll be lucky if you even go up there once a year!"

"Mom, it’s not Dad’s fault. I lied to him and told him I was staying at a friend’s house when I was really out with a guy I’d met at a club."

Dawn’s eyes widened at this admission. Fortunately for Buffy, she remained silent.

"Well, who is he?" Joyce asked.

Buffy’s eyes lowered again. "I don’t know," she lied. "It was just a one time thing. He was a friend of a friend. I barely knew him."

When Buffy looked up again, Dawn was seated on the couch alone. She could hear her mother crying in the next room, which brought on her own tears. After a moment of sobbing into her hands, Buffy felt two small arms wrap around her. She didn’t have to look up to know it was her sister. As Buffy cried harder, Dawn embraced her tighter.




January 2002

"I’m here to see Hank Summers," Dawn said to her father’s new secretary. She briefly wondered how long it would be before Hank was divorcing Karen and marrying the blonde in front of her.

Ashley, as the sign in front of her indicated, beamed up at Dawn. "Dawn, right?" she asked. When Dawn nodded she continued, "Your father’s been expecting you. He just stepped out with a client but he asked that you wait for him in his office."

Doesn’t look like long at all, Dawn mused, walking away from the overly cheerful employee.

Dawn found her father’s big corner office with its gigantic glass windows that offered a spectacular view of the city. She sat in the large leather chair behind his desk and swivelled it around so she was staring out the windows.

Forgetting she’d left the door open, she was caught off guard when someone rushed into the room. "Hank, I just got off the phone with Parker Abrams. He’s gotten himself into another nasty lawsuit and..."

Dawn turned the chair to face Spike giving him a smirk. Spike stopped mid sentence when he noticed the teenager sitting where he’d thought his boss had been.

"Buffy’s sister, right?"

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but I usually go by ‘Dawn’."

Spike’s cheeks flushed a deep red. "Right, sorry."

"So, you and Buffy. You two go way back, huh?"

"You could say that." Spike was beginning to wish he’d never set foot in his boss’ office.

"It’s cool that you guys can be, friends, after all these years." Dawn had to conceal her smile while she watched Spike squirm before her.

Spike just nodded. "I really should be getting back to work..."

"And your girlfriend, what was her name again? Something weird, like.."

"Drusilla," Spike replied through gritted teeth.

"Whatever," Dawn replied casually. "She was nice." Dawn’s tone made it sound like that’s the last thing she thought of Drusilla.

"Yes, thank you. Now if that’s all I really shouldn’t be wasting your father’s money..."

"Don’t worry about my father’s money." Dawn smiled inwardly, a brilliant idea coming into her head. "It’s Buffy’s birthday next week. Dad’s throwing her a big party before we go back home. You should come."

Spike really couldn’t think of a good reason not to. And besides Buffy would be there. "Sure."

"Great!" Dawn exclaimed. "But it’s kind of an intimate thing, so come by yourself. Don’t want to waste my father’s money, right?"

Chapter Fifteen



Spike looked up from his paperwork when he heard someone tapping on his already open door. "What is it mate?" he asked looking back down.

Angel walked into the office taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of Spike’s desk. "Can’t I just come to visit?" Angel asked innocently.

Spike put down the pen he’d been using and stared at his friend incredulously.

Angel held up his hands in mock surrender. "Okay, okay," he admitted with a chuckle. "Can’t blame a guy for being curious."

"Curious ‘bout what?"

"About your new hairdo." Angel rolled his eyes. "About Buffy, the talk you two had. C’mon, you haven’t said anything about her since the party last week."

"Nothin’ to tell," Spike responded. "We just talked, had lunch, saw each other at Luce’s."

"You took her out to dinner?!"

Spike shook his head. "No, I was there with Drusilla." Spike ignored Angel’s snort of disapproval. Angel never tried to hide his dislike for Spike’s new girlfriend. "Buffy was there with friends."

"You’re going to keep seeing Drusilla," Angel asked in disbelief. "Even with Buffy back in town?"

Spike sighed. "She’s not back in town. She’s only here for another week and then she’s off to soddin’ Florida." Spike picked up the pen he’d discarded. "I’m not going to let her come in and destroy my world. Buffy will be gone, and I’ll have to move on. With Drusilla."



Less than twenty minutes after Angel had left his office he heard another tapping at his door. He didn’t bother to look up. "What is it now, Peaches?"

"That’s a cute nickname," a sarcastic woman started. "Never really understood it, though."

Spike’s head popped up to see her standing where he’d imagined Angel to be. "Buffy! Wh-what are you doing here?"

Buffy’s smile dimmed a bit as she held up the two brown bags she was holding. "I thought we could have lunch. If you’re busy, I could just leave. I shouldn’t have assumed you’d have time..."

Spike jumped out of his seat. "No!" he exclaimed in a louder voice than he would have liked to use. "I mean, you don’t have to leave. I do get a lunch break here."

Buffy’s smiled returned and she handed him one of the bags. Spike closed the door behind her and ushered her into the seat Angel had occupied earlier. He took his seat, removing various items off the desk to make room for their lunch.

Spike held the bag up to his nose. "Philly cheese steak from Dub’s Deli?" he asked with a grin. "You remembered?"

Buffy blushed a little. "How could I forget? That deli is the best I’ve ever been to!"

Spike took out his sandwich, quickly digging into the delicious meal. They ate in silence for a while. "Thank you," Spike said finally.

Buffy looked up from her salad and smiled at him. "You're welcome."

They stared at each other intently, neither willing to break the gaze.

"William, have you had a chance to review those case files I gave-oh, hello Buffy," Hank interrupted their moment as he came barging into the office. Hank looked at them in bewilderment. "What are you doing here?"

Buffy and Spike both stood to greet Hank. "Having lunch?" Buffy attempted lamely.

"Yes, I can see that." Hank couldn’t erase the look of confusion that was written across his face. "How do you and William know each other?"

"Well, we uh-"

"We met at the party last week," Spike filled in for her.

"But Buffy was barely there for more than ten minutes," Hank countered.

Buffy glanced at Spike with a look she hoped said ‘please stop helping!’. "Well, Dad, Spike came out after I left and was waiting for a taxi to make sure I was okay. I, err, bought him lunch as a sort of thank you."

Hank didn’t seem convinced, but accepted her explanation. Spike rushed out from behind his desk with the files Hank had requested when he’d entered the office. "Here are those cases, Mr. Summers." Spike followed Hank to the door, handing his employer the yellow folders. "I’ll just finish up my lunch break and then come to your office to review these," he said. Hank, still looking confused, nodded and walked away from Spike’s office.

Spike closed the door behind Hank, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief. Buffy sank down onto the corner of Spike’s desk, doing the same. "Well, that was certainly awkward."

Buffy nodded absently. "It’s just that I never told him when we were together, not that I knew you worked for him anyway, I just, he wouldn’t have liked that I was dating an older guy," she rambled.

Spike allowed her a small smile as he walked towards her. "It’s okay, luv. You don’t have to explain anything." He moved so he was standing directly in front of her and put his hands on the sides of her arms. "I don’t feel like having an overprotective father fire me, anyway."

Buffy chuckled at this. "He’s not exactly protective, never mind overprotective." She was suddenly aware of his closeness. Their faces were mere inches away, and Buffy was finding it hard to breathe, never mind form a competent thought.

Before Spike had a chance to remind himself how wrong it was, he brought his lips down to meet hers. She didn’t respond immediately, overwhelmed by shock, but after a few moments she wrapped her arms around his neck bringing him closer. Spike lowered her down onto his desk, kissing her like he was making up for not being able to all these years.

Buffy didn’t allow herself to think while he was kissing her. She concentrated on the feel of his lips, and how much she’d missed him. When she felt hardness poking into the inside of her thigh, she came crashing back to reality. Not allowing herself to get wrapped up in the heated embrace, she pushed him off her.

"Buffy, what?" Spike stuttered, his mind still foggy.

Buffy wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "I’m sorry, I have to go." Without waiting for a response from him, she fled from the room.



Drusilla stepped out of the cab she had taken to Spike’s office. She had made it her business to see her boyfriend as often as possible since Buffy had come into town. She planned to take him out for a quick lunch and then back to her place for what she hoped would be anything but quick.

Stepping onto the elevator, she pressed the button for the floor his law firm was on. It was safe to say she hated Buffy. She didn’t know much about their past together, but from what Darla had told her, Buffy was flaky. Not only that, but Spike was always different when she was around. He had this look in his eyes like he was thinking of Buffy, rather then her. The only hope Drusilla had was that he hadn’t broken up with her for the small blonde. That had to mean something.

Stepping out of the elevator, she made her way down the hall to Spike’s office. As she turned the corner, someone crashed into her throwing her back against the wall.

When Drusilla regained her balance she looked up at the person who had rushed into her. She didn’t have much time to stare, because as soon as Buffy saw her, she fled towards the stairs.

Drusilla couldn’t help but wonder what Buffy had been doing at the office. Don’t be silly, she reassured herself. Her daddy works here, too.

With that explanation firmly embedded in her brain, she resumed her walk to Spike’s office. She tapped on the door lightly.

"Come in!" Spike yelled from the other side, sounding...relieved?

Insisting it was her imagination playing games with her, Drusilla opened the door to see Spike standing in front of his desk, cleaning off what looked like his lunch.

"Hello, dearie," Drusilla greeted.

Spike turned around quickly at the sound of her voice. "Oh, Dru it’s you."

Drusilla frowned. "Who else would it be?"

Spike chuckled, but it sounded nervous to her. "Oh, I don’t know. Angel, Hank, any other bloke who works here." He walked towards her, not inviting her further into the office. "What brings you here?"

Drusilla wrapped her arms around Spike as he enveloped her in a hug. "Just thought I could take you out to lunch," she told him, looking over his shoulder at the mess that was currently his desk. "Looks like you already ate." Actually it looked like he’d gotten into a fight with his desk and won. Everything on his desk was scattered to one side or laying on the floor. If she didn’t know any better she might think...

Buffy. Drusilla quickly took in Spike’s disheveled appearance and fought the urge to vomit.

"Yeah, ate with Angel I did," he explained smoothing back his hair, which was currently under her scrutiny. "Look, pet, I don’t really have time to visit now. I’ll call you later."

"Sure," she replied giving him a quick peck on the lips. She fought back another wave of nausea when she tasted vanilla balm on his lips.

Back in the elevator, Drusilla was fuming. That little tramp thought she could just come in and steal her boyfriend? Drusilla had been searching for a man like Spike her whole life, and there wasn’t a chance in hell she was going to lose him to her. She would do anything to make sure that didn’t happen.



Spike was having mixed feelings about going to Buffy’s birthday party. The last time he’d seen her had been that day in his office when she’d ran out on him. She had a habit of doing that, it seemed. That had been three days ago, and he hadn’t tried to contact her hoping she would seek him out. No such luck. Now he was standing outside the Four Seasons, smoking a cigarette and contemplating whether or not he should go inside.

"Spike!"

Now, he certainly had no choice but to attend the party. "Hello, Dawn."

"I’m glad you could make it," she replied. Dawn nodded towards the little girl holding her hand. "Do you remember Buffy’s daughter, Sarah?"

Spike smiled at the child. She was wearing Minnie Mouse sunglasses, probably a souvenir from Disney Land. Spike bent down so he was eye level with Sarah. "Hello, cutie."

Sarah smiled. "Hi." Spike couldn’t believe how much she resembled Buffy, she even smiled like Buffy.

"Well, were you planning on coming in or what? The party’s already started. You’re late," Dawn reminded him, starting for the door.

They walked into the hall where the party was being held and Spike walked over to place his gift on the overflowing table. Dawn followed him. "What’d you get her?"

"None of your business, Nibblet."

"Glenn, Linda!" Spike could hear Karen, Hank’s third wife, greeting guests. "How are you? Can you believe our Buffy is twenty one already?"

Spike looked over at Dawn to see if she’d heard her stepmother. He’d always known Hank didn’t pick his women for their intelligence, but how could Buffy’s stepmother not know how old she was. She was turning twenty three.

"I can’t believe her!" Dawn fumed. Spike was about to laugh and agree with her, but held back when Dawn continued, "Acting like she’s our mother!" Without casting a glance towards Spike, she picked up Sarah and marched away angrily.

Spike’s face was the picture of confusion. Maybe Dawn was too angry to notice her stepmother’s mistake. Spike was about to find Hank and ask him exactly where he found these women when he spotted a gigantic banner hanging above a mock stage for the band and almost fainted.

Happy 21st Birthday, Buffy!

Chapter Sixteen



Spike felt like he’d just had the wind knocked out of him. Happy 21st Birthday Buffy? Eighteen plus five, yes it still equaled twenty three. How was it possible that Buffy was only celebrating her twenty first birthday?

Spike looked around the party for Dawn, Hank, anyone who could explain. Whoever had made that banner had to have made a huge mistake. If it was true... he didn’t even want to think of that possibility. That would make him a child molester, a pedophile, a cradle robbing bastard!

"Spike!"

He turned his head to see Buffy coming towards him with a smile, looking happier than he’d seen her in a while.

"What are you doing here? I didn’t know my Dad invited you."

Spike turned back to stare at the banner for a moment and then returned his gaze to Buffy. Reading the hurt and confusion in his eyes, her smile disappeared. "Spike..."

"It’s true?!" He gestured to the banner frantically.

Buffy rushed closer to him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder and hoping he would lower his voice. "Spike-"

He backed away from her quickly, ripping his arm away from her grasp as if he’d been stung. "What the hell is this, Buffy?"

Buffy looked back at her guests and saw many of them staring at the strange couple. She grabbed Spike’s arm, despite his protests, and dragged him out into the hall. Once she was certain they were far enough away so that they wouldn’t be heard, she turned to him.

"You’re twenty one??" All Spike wanted was for Buffy to tell him there had been some sort of mistake made, that she was really twenty three and hadn’t lied to him.

Buffy nodded, lowering her gaze to the floor.

Spike took a deep breath. "So that means you were," he paused mentally doing the math. "SIXTEEN! Sixteen, Buffy, do you know that that’s a crime?! I could have gone to jail!"

Buffy winced. Not only was Spike yelling, but his tone had turned dangerously angry. "Spike, please, let me explain!"

"What’s there to explain?" Spike yelled. "You lied to me!"

"Yes, I did. But I did it to be with you!" Spike buried his head in his hands. "I didn’t think we’d ever see each other again. And then in L.A. I knew it was only for the summer. I didn’t think we would start a relationship like we did." Her voice grew softer. "I didn’t know I was going to fall in love with you!"

"Well it doesn’t bloody matter much now does it?" Spike looked up at her. "This changes everything! This turns what we had into something ugly. It turns me into a rapist, Buffy."

Buffy shook her head. "No, it doesn’t!" she insisted. "You can’t be a rapist when I was willing. I knew what I wanted then, and nothing’s changed about that. I would do it all over again, doesn’t that mean anything?"

It was Spike’s turn to shake his head. "It just means you’d lie to me again."

Buffy took a deep breath, angry at him for his stubbornness and angry at herself for letting her lie get so far. "While we’re on the subject of ages," she started waiting for him to make eye contact with her. When he finally did, she almost couldn’t continue.

"Sarah, she’s three," Buffy said, hoping he’d realize what she was trying to tell him without actually having to say it. Spike just kept staring at her with a blank expression on his face. "She was born April 14, 1998." She could tell Spike was subtracting nine months from that date in his head. "July," she told him before he reached his conclusion. "And I wasn’t with anyone else that summer."

Spike eyes widened in disbelief. Buffy was a completely different person to him now. Not only had she lied about her age, but she’d kept him from his daughter for almost four years.

"I know you’re angry-"

"How could you keep her from me all this time?" Spike choked out, barely able to speak.

"It’s not like that!" Buffy insisted. "I didn’t know until it was too late."

Spike looked at her with unshed tears in his eyes. Her heart went out to him, but it really wasn’t her fault as much as he must want to blame her. She had tried everything to find him, but to no avail.

"Spike, I’m sorry," she offered, reaching out her hand again to comfort him.

Spike drew away again, this time looking at her with so much hurt she felt like dying. Much as she’d done that afternoon at his office, he turned away from her and rushed out of the building, getting as far away from her as possible.



Spike walked down the crowded Los Angeles street, feeling like he didn’t have a place in the world to go. He’d rather be out with a million strangers than sit at home by himself and cry about the awful situation he was now faced with.

He had a daughter.

Those were scary words. He now had someone who would need him and depend on him. And she had a mother who at the moment he never wanted to see again.

Without realizing it, Spike had subconsciously stopped in front of his favorite bar. It was the only place he could step into and try to forget about Buffy and his daughter.

"What brings you here tonight, Spike? Not getting any from that crazy girlfriend of yours?" Anya, the bartender, called out to him.

Spike made his way over to the bar she was standing behind. "Not exactly, pet." He ordered his usual, three shots of Jack Daniels and drank them fast, one after the other.

"A little bit worse than that, huh?"

After a lot more whisky, Spike was in the mood to tell Anya about his problems. "So you see, the bloody bitch never told me I had a soddin daughter! Now she just expects me to be okay with it."

"Which you’re not doing a good job of, by the way," she told Spike honestly. That’s why he liked her, he could always expect the complete truth.

"Yeah, well whatdya expect?" Spike slurred angrily. "Now I got someone to take care of! Have to do all the nappy changing and whatnot."

Anya slapped him on the back of the head. "Way to be Mr. Negativity! You’ve also got a daughter! Daughters love their daddies, and when you get old she’ll be the one taking care of you." Anya rolled her eyes. "What, you never thought you were going to get married and have kids?"

Spike thought about this. Ever since that summer Buffy had left him, he’d really given up on love. Buffy had been his one true love and he hadn’t felt like settling for second best. Which, he knew, would have meant a lifetime membership to the bachelorhood.

"I dunno, it’s all too soon," Spike murmured, taking a swig from the bottle Anya had long ago deposited in front of him to save herself from constantly pouring it into new shot glasses.

"Yeah, well get used to it," she replied. "You’re a father now."

Chapter Seventeen



Buffy made her way to the door of her suite, annoyed that she’d been disturbed from her afternoon nap. "Dawn, you better not have forgotten your key!" she called. When she opened the door, she saw the last person she’d expected to see. "Spike!?"

"Hello," he greeted curtly.

Buffy stood in shock for a moment before realizing he was still standing out in the hall and invited him in. "I’m glad you came back," she started. "We have a lot to talk about."

"Didn’t come to see you," he told her quickly. "Wanted to see my daughter."

"Oh." Buffy rubbed her face which was probably creased from sleep, and tried to hide her disappointment. She turned away from him and headed towards her daughter. Sarah was seated Indian-style in front of the television.

Spike couldn’t make out what Buffy was saying to her daughter, their daughter, but when Buffy was done she motioned for Spike to join them.

"Sweetie, you remember mommy’s friend, Spike, right?" Buffy asked her daughter softly.

Sarah looked up and smiled at Spike. "Hi."

Spike crouched down to sit next to Sarah on the floor. He barely noticed when Buffy retreated to the other side of the room to give them privacy, he was too busy gazing down at his daughter. The more he thought of her as his child, the more comfortable he became with the idea.

"What were you doing?"

"Watching Dora the Explorer," she answered. "If you’re mommy’s friend, why don’t you want to play with her?"

Spike chuckled. "Because I heard you were much more fun to play with than mommy."

Sarah smiled again. "Wanna color?"

Spike watched as Sarah got up and walked over to the coffee table piled with coloring books and crayons. She carefully picked out one and moved over to the larger table in the center of the room. Spike rose from his seat on the floor and followed her.

"You can help me color this one," Sarah told him when he was seated next to her at the table. The picture was of a little girl and a dog. Sarah started coloring the girl’s hair yellow. "I asked Mommy to get me a doggie for my birthday. Mommy says I can’t have one, but I love doggies." She continued her conversation about ‘doggies’ and Spike just listened and colored.



Spike ended his time in the suite by promising Sarah they’d have more play dates and by barely saying goodbye to Buffy. Buffy had looked so sad when he’d left he’d almost given in and forgiven her. But then he looked at the beautiful daughter that she'd kept a secret from him for so long, and couldn’t.

Now outside the hotel, he searched inside his jean pocket for his cigarettes. Finally finding the pack, he lifted one to his lips and lit it needing it after such stressful two days.

"Don’t you think you should quit now that you have a three year old looking up to you?"

Spike sighed heavily. He’d thought he’d gotten away from all the Summers women. "Hadn’t really had much time to think about it." Spike moved away from the entrance to sit on the curb.

Dawn followed him. "She’s had a hard time, you know."

"Actually I wouldn’t know," he retorted.

Dawn ignored his hostile tone. "Buffy went through a lot during her pregnancy. She had to drop out of school, get a full time job for as long as she could." Dawn laughed bitterly. "I even tried to get a job to help her out, but I was only twelve."

Spike moved his gaze from the old bubble gum he’d been staring at to the teenager beside him. Her tone really made him want to hug her.

"And things only got worse after she had Sarah," Dawn continued. "Mom started having the migraines again. About a year after Sarah was born, our Mom died."

Involuntarily, Spike lifted his hand and placed it comfortingly on Dawn’s shoulder. She gave him a small smile. If Spike didn’t know any better, he’d think that he was actually starting to like this meddlesome teenager.

"Did you ever try to find Buffy?" Dawn asked. "After she left?"



Two days after Buffy had left that message on Spike’s voicemail, he was still trying to contact her. Every time he’d called her cell phone he’d been connected straight to her answering service, letting him know that her phone was turned off. Every time until now.

Instead of hearing Buffy, however, he was greeted by someone with a much deeper voice.

"Hi, uh, can I speak to Buffy?" Spike asked, crossing his fingers that he hadn’t called the wrong number.

"Buffy’s gone back home," the man answered. "She won’t have this phone anymore."

"I really need to speak to her." Spike hated hearing the desperation in his voice.

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "I’m sorry, but she can’t be reached through this phone. It’s being disconnected tomorrow. Please don’t call back."

Spike barely had time to register what he’d been told before he heard a ‘click’ signaling that the other person had hung up.



"That was your dad?!"

Dawn laughed. "Duh, Einstein."

"No wonder the voice sounded so familiar," Spike mused before getting back to his story.



"Buffy Summers," Spike repeated for what felt like the millionth time. "S-U-M-M-E-R-S."

The woman in front of the computer took a deep breath. "I’m sorry, sir. But there are no records of a Buffy Summers on this campus. The only listing I have here is for a Robert Summers."

Spike felt like banging his head against the counter he was leaning against. The first thing Spike had done when he’d arrived in Sunnydale was to look Buffy up in the phone book. There was one Summers listed in Sunnydale, but it proved to be an old man who lived alone. After searching the town for her, which he should have known from previous efforts was fruitless, he’d made his way to UC Sunnydale where she’d told him she attended. Spike wasn’t one to give up easily, but it seemed like he would never find her.



Spike stared at Dawn in confusion as she burst out into peals of laughter. "What?!" he asked, ofended.

"No-nothing," she responded through giggles. "I just think you should talk to Buffy."

Spike shook his head stubbornly. "Not likely to happen."

"Trust me, Spike," Dawn told him solemnly. "You’re going to want to hear what she has to say."



Buffy was just about to call Dawn’s cell phone to find out where she was, when there was a knock at the door. "Spike?" Buffy questioned for the second time that day. "Did you leave something?"

Spike shook his head, moving past her into the room. Buffy remained silent as she closed the door and faced him. After many minutes of silence, Buffy had to ask, "What is it Spike?"

"We need to talk," he said finally.

"Okay, sure."

"Mommy," Sarah called as she entered the room from one of the bedrooms. "I’m hungry." She walked past them into the kitchen, noticing Spike. "Hi, Daddy."

Spike’s eyebrows hit his hairline. Buffy fought the urge to laugh at him, but couldn’t hide her smile. Spike kept looking back and forth between Buffy and Sarah, not sure what to say even if he could speak. "You told her?" he breathed.

"Well, yeah," Buffy replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She joined Sarah in the kitchen. "Why don’t you pour yourself a drink while I make her dinner?"

Spike eagerly headed to the mini bar, immediately pulling out the nearest small bottle of whiskey and draining it.

Buffy quickly prepared a microwave dinner, setting the macaroni and cheese in front of Sarah at the kitchen table when it was done.

Spike had many more empty little bottles in front of him by the time Buffy rejoined him. "We should wait until she’s in bed," Buffy said looking at the clock. "You can tuck her in if you want."



"Goodnight, Princess," Spike called softly into Sarah’s room before closing the door.

"Goodnight, Spike!" Dawn singsonged from behind him, causing him to jump slightly.

Spike glared at her. "Wasn’t talking to you."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "I figured that," she replied with a smirk. "I’m going to bed, too." She faked a huge yawn for emphasis. "Long day, really tired."

Spike found Buffy sitting in the same spot he’d left her over an hour ago. When he’d agreed to tuck Sarah in, he’d thought he would do just that. Instead, Sarah had gotten him to read her four stories, check under her bed and in her closet for monsters, and leave her nightlight on.

"Quite a handful isn’t she?" Buffy joked when he returned.

"Which one?"

Buffy couldn’t help but laugh. "Dawn hasn’t been in the hotel room this early the whole time we’ve been here," she told him. "Which means she wants to give us some privacy, but listen through the door to what we’re saying."

Spike grinned. "Clever girl."

"It runs in the family."

Spike had to agree with that. "So, the talking," he started, turning the conversation serious.

"Yeah, that. You came back, so I guess that means you had something on your mind."

Yeah, Dawn’s words replaying over and over. "Did you ever come back to L.A.?" he asked. "Ever try to tell me about Sarah?"

Buffy’s eyes started filling with tears.



"Yes, Mom, she’s with Dad. I’m going to visit Faith." Buffy paused. "Mom! Of course I trust him! He raised me and Dawnie didn’t he?" Buffy listened to her mother’s ranting. "Okay, Mom I really don’t have time to get into this right now. I’ll call you later."

Buffy hung up the phone and stared at the familiar building in front of her. She hadn’t seen it in a year and a half, but it still looked exactly the same. She pressed the button to the apartment she had come to know so well, not bothering to look for Spike’s name.

As Buffy waited for an answer, one of the other tenants exited the building, holding the door open for her to enter. She made her way up the stairs to the third floor. Even the smell of the building was the same.

When she finally reached Spike’s door, she hesitated. She’d played out their reunion in her head a million times, and each time they ended up together. Maybe that had just been wishful thinking.

Before she could back out, she knocked loudly on the door. To her surprise an older woman answered the door. "Can I help you?" the woman asked.

Buffy stared at her in confusion before finding her voice. "Um, I’m looking for Spike, uh, William," she stammered. "Is he here?"

The woman shook her head. "No, whoever lived here before us got kicked out a year ago."

Buffy swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. She’d been so close. "Do you know where he moved to?"

The woman shook her head again. "I’m sorry, sweetie, but they never told us his name or where he went." She closed the door, leaving Buffy standing there for a moment in shock, before she slowly turned round to leave.

When Buffy reached the bottom of the stairs again, she collapsed onto her knees, her face in her hands. She couldn’t bring herself to stand up again and walk to her dad’s. All she could do was cry.

Chapter Eighteen



The sun was rising the next morning when Spike finally had to leave for work. They’d spent the whole night talking about every detail of their lives over the past five years, and about times even before then. Buffy yawned as she walked Spike to the door.

"Can I come over later?" Spike asked standing in the doorway. He wanted so much to spend her last night in L.A. with her.

"Sure," Buffy agreed. She had a look on her face that told him there was something on her mind. "Spike..."

"Yeah, pet?"

Buffy sighed. "I’m just wondering why," she started. "Are you coming back tonight for me? For Sarah? For both of us?"

Spike was silent for a moment, trying to read her eyes. He wished he knew what she wanted to hear so he could give her that answer. He knew he was coming back to spend time with her, but also to spend time with the little girl he’d fallen in love with in such a short amount of time.

"Both," he assured her, closing the distance between them. He cupped her cheek with one hand while the other rested on her arm. "I want us to be together."

Buffy smiled up at him, tilting her head upwards as he leaned down to capture her lips with his. The kiss they shared was intense, as if they were letting out feelings that had been pent up for almost five years.

Spike pulled back slightly out of breath. He knew without her saying anything that she felt the same way. Her kisses told him everything he needed to know. Leaving her with one last lingering kiss, he was out the door and heading down the hallway.



"Good morning, Mr. Giles," his secretary greeted him.

"Good morning," he replied cheerfully. "I know, I’m late. Hank hasn’t been looking for me has he?"

"No, Mr. Summers is out of the office today," she replied. "You have quite a list of phone messages, though." She smiled at him suggestively. "Your girlfriend’s been trying to reach you all morning."

Spike beamed at that. "Thank you, I’ll just take these into my office and call her back right away.” His secretary raised an eyebrow at his eagerness. "I mean, I guess I’ll call her when I have a chance."

Before his secretary could see the embarrassed blush that was creeping up his neck, Spike hurried into his office and closed the door behind him. As soon as he was at his desk, he searched through his messages to find the many Buffy had left him.

He was puzzled when he didn’t find a single one. Instead, he had about fifteen from Drusilla. Your girlfriend, you prat! Spike groaned. Last night with Buffy had caused him to completely forget about Drusilla. Not that choosing between them was a very hard choice, but it was certainly going to be hard to explain things to her when Drusilla had obviously formed a serious attachment to him.

"Bollocks," he cursed himself before reaching for the phone. He had to end things with Drusilla, and the sooner the better.

Spike forced a cheerful tone when Drusilla answered. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have any feelings for her, but his feelings for Buffy were so much deeper. He felt like a total jerk for what he was about to do to Drusilla, but if he wanted to be with Buffy he’d have to get over it.

"Hey, Dru," he greeted. "Listen, we have to talk..."



"Spike’s coming over?"

Buffy looked up from the meal she was preparing to see Dawn leaning up against the small sink. "How’d you know?"

"Well apart from the fact that you're actually glowing, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you even attempt to cook a meal like this," Dawn replied with an evil grin. "So, I guess you guys talked through your problems?"

"You could say that." Buffy had a secretive smile on her face.

Dawn’s grin turned into a beaming smile. She was ecstatic to have played a role in reuniting Spike and Buffy, even though she hoped they would have come together on their own eventually. She’d just helped speed up the process.

"So I guess this means another night of me, myself, and I in my room." Buffy looked at her apologetically, but Dawn waved her off. "No big," she replied automatically. "You and Spike have a lot of time to make up for."

Buffy broke into another smile as her cell phone started ringing. One look at the caller ID and she had her phone flipped open. ‘Spike,’ she mouthed at Dawn who rolled her eyes at Buffy’s giddy state.

"’Lo , luv, I’m just leaving work now-"

"Okay, what time will you be here?" she interrupted. "I figured we could have dinner. I’m making roasted chicken, you do like chicken don’t you?"

Spike remained silent on the other line before clearing his throat. "Actually, I have something to take care of before I come over. It might be a bit after dinner time, though."

Buffy’s face fell, and Dawn noticed. ‘What?’ Dawn mouthed.

Buffy shook her head and turned away from her sister. "Oh, that’s okay. I have to feed Dawn and Sarah anyway, it’s no big deal."

"I’ll be there as soon as I can," he promised before hanging up.

Dawn watched as Buffy ended the call and went back to check on the chicken. "He’s not coming?"

Buffy remained standing with her back to her sister. "No, he is."

Dawn grabbed Buffy’s shoulder, whirling Buffy around to face her. "Then what’s with the bipolar episode?"

Buffy sighed, knowing she was probably overreacting. "I don’t know," she admitted. "He said he had something to take care of." Dawn’s expression was blank, as if to say ‘yeah and?’. Buffy tangled her hand in her hair before continuing. "This is going to sound stupid, but I can’t help but wonder if that ‘something’ is really someone." Dawn still wasn’t quite following. "Drusilla!"

Dawn shook her head in disbelief. "No way!" she argued. "You are totally overreacting! He probably has something to take care of for work." Buffy, however, wasn’t convinced. "I bet he called up goth girl as soon as he left here this morning and told her they were over. He’s definitely not ditching you to see her."

Buffy nodded. Dawn’s words made sense but she wished she could shake away the feelings of doubt fluttering around in her stomach.



Spike walked into the restaurant and noticed Drusilla already seated at a booth in the corner. Taking a deep breath, he made his way over to the booth and slid in across from her. Her face immediately lit up with a smile as she greeted him. A pang of guilt shot through him for what he was about to do.

Drusilla handed him a menu which he didn’t bother open, he didn’t intend to stay long enough to eat anything. Instead, he placed it in front of him on the table and took another deep breath.

"What did you want to talk about?" Drusilla asked oblivious to his solemn mood.

"Actually, it’s about Buffy." Drusilla’s eyes narrowed at the mention of the other girl’s name. "You remember her daughter Sarah?" Spike took a deep breathe and filled Drusilla in on what he’d found out about Sarah being his daughter.

"That nasty bitch never told you?" Drusilla cried out. "You’ve got to get even with her. Take her to court." She put her hand over his reassuringly. "We’ll think of something."

Spike shook his head, extracting his hand from underneath hers. "It’s not like that," he replied. Spike briefly explained the circumstances that prevented him and Buffy from finding each other five years ago. "Things shouldn’t have worked out the way they did."

"What are you saying, Spike?" Drusilla spoke through gritted teeth.

"Buffy and I are going to try again. I want to get to know my daughter and see if Buffy and I still have a chance," he blurted out quickly. "I’m sorry, Dru, but they mean a lot to me. It’s something I have to do."

Drusilla didn’t speak for several moments. Spike was afraid she was about to cause a scene, but he couldn’t really blame her for wanting to. "She’ll never love you like I do," Drusilla told him finally in an eerily calm voice.

"Dru-"

"I won’t let her have you that easily, Spike," Drusilla warned him. "I’ll never let you go."

Spike stood from the booth, momentarily taken back by her threats. He might have been worried if Buffy didn’t live thousands of miles away from Drusilla’s crazy mind. "Goodbye, Dru," he said softly before leaving her alone in the booth.



The hotel room door opened to reveal a tired looking Buffy. "Is it too late to see Sarah?" Spike asked quietly entering the room. He took in the surroundings of the room and noticed the kitchen piled with dirty pots and dishes and lots of leftover food. Even though he didn't believe it, he hoped that Buffy would have made such a big dinner even if she hadn’t been expecting him.

"No, she’s in bed waiting for you to read her a story," Buffy answered, trying to stifle a yawn.

Spike reached out to kiss her forehead. "Just one, them I’m all yours."

Buffy smiled despite the doubts she’d been feeling earlier. Surely if Spike had seen Drusilla tonight he would have told her. As he retreated into Sarah’s room, Buffy made herself comfortable on the couch. Idly turning on the first thing that looked appealing, she rested her head against the couch arm and waited for Spike to return.

Spike exited Sarah’s room minutes later. It had been much easier to get her to sleep tonight since she’d already been dozing off when he began reading. "Sound asleep," he called softly to Buffy. "And so are you," he added with a chuckle at seeing Buffy sleeping against the arm. He sat down next to her, wrapping his arms around her and laying them back so they were sprawled across the couch. She didn't wake up, but shifted slightly to place her arm across his chest. He couldn’t think of a better way to spend her last night in L.A. together than by just holding her.

Chapter Nineteen


April 2002



Spike sighed when he saw his answering machine. Eight new messages since he’d left for work that morning. He had a feeling he knew exactly who they were from.

"Hello, my darling William..." Spike cut off the message, cringing as soon as Drusilla’s voice filled the room again.

"Spike’s been a naughty boy..."

"Mummy doesn’t like..."

"Spike’s princess is sad when he’s a bad puppy..."

"Spike! It’s awfully rude of you to keep Mummy waiting!"

"It’s her isn’t it! Miss Edith can see..."

Spike shook his head, deleting the remaining messages without listening to them. "Miss Edith?" he wondered aloud before heading to the shower.



Spike waited outside the door to Buffy’s apartment, arms full of baggage. He hadn’t seen Buffy or Sarah since they left for Florida nearly three months before. As soon as they’d left in January, Spike had started work on an important sexual assault case against one of the firm's top clients, Parker Abrams. It had taken two and a half months to settle the case. Now, he could finally use the vacation time he’d saved over the years.

Spike was beginning to wish he hadn’t insisted on renting his own car. He had too many bags to carry up the four flights of stairs he’d taken to get to Buffy’s apartment. Spike quickly made a mental note to get Buffy an apartment with an elevator.

"Daddy!"

Another object burdened his arms, his daughter. Spike attempted to hug Sarah, failing miserably as his bags flew out of his hands and onto the floor.

Spike saw Buffy coming to his aide, and stood up. Instead of helping him pick up his belongings like he expected, she ran into his arms sending him flying back into the wall behind him.

"I missed you!" she exclaimed, kissing him hard on the mouth.

Spike laughed. "Missed you too, luv."

When Spike’s bags were finally inside the small apartment, he turned back to Sarah."I think I still have one more thing outside," he started with a grin. "Does someone have a birthday coming up?"

Sarah smiled brightly at the mention of a present.

"Spike," Buffy scolded playfully. "Her birthday’s not until tomorrow!"

"I know," Spike replied, walking out the door. "It’s just one of many," he called over his shoulder.

Buffy simply smiled and shook her head. She should have known Spike was going to spoil their daughter rotten.

Spike returned with a golden lab puppy on a leash with a bright, red bow wrapped around it’s neck. He beamed, proud of his present.

"Doggie!" Sarah squealed as the little golden lab yelped.

Buffy’s smile quickly turned into a frown. "A dog?" she asked Spike incredulously. "You got her a dog?"

Spike beamed. "I know, it’s a little outrageous. But if I can’t spoil my only daughter who can I spoil?"

Buffy stood, placing her hands on her hips angrily. "A dog!?" she repeated. "You buy her a dog and you don’t even think to ask me first?!"

Spike frowned. "I didn’t think it was a big deal."

"Of course you didn’t!" Buffy exclaimed. "Because you don’t know that dogs aren’t allowed in our building! Because you didn’t ask me!"

"I think you’re overreacting, pet," Spike tried to reason with her. He quickly realized that was not the right thing to say.

"I am not overreacting!"

Spike rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Well, there’s not much we can do about it now. Can’t disappoint the little one by taking her new pet away, now can we?"

Buffy glared at Spike. Of course she couldn’t. That was probably his plan the entire time. "Did you even consider that this little puppy will grow into a huge dog?"

Spike remained silent. He actually hadn’t considered that, he’d only wanted the cutest puppy when he’d been in the pet store.

"What am I suppose to do now? Move?"

"You could just hide it for a while," Spike suggested.

"And what do you recommend I do once it’s a full grown dog?"

Spike crossed the distance between them, taking her hands in his. "Then we’ll just have to move into a place that allows dogs."

Buffy’s expression softened slightly as she gazed at their connected hands. Spike smiled, feeling like he’d won, and leaned in to kiss her. Buffy shook her head, remembered that she was still mad at Spike, and pulled out of his grasp before his lips touched hers.

"Hey," Spike protested trying to pull her back towards him.

Buffy shook her head again and headed into the kitchen.



Dinner had been pretty much silent, except for the constant chatter of Dawn and Sarah. Buffy had been giving Spike one-word answers ever since their disagreement over his gift. After dinner, Spike had retreated to the bathroom to take a shower. Now, as he walked around the seemingly empty apartment, he wondered where everyone had disappeared to.

"Buffy?" he called, sticking his head into her room from behind the slightly ajar door. She was sitting up in her bed reading a magazine. She gave no indication of whether or not she'd heard him.

Spike pushed the door open and walked into the dimly lit room. "Where’s Dawn?"

"Out."

Spike raised an eyebrow. They were back to the single word responses. "Where’d she go?"

"Out."

"When will she be back?"

"Later."

Spike sighed at her immature banter. In one fluid movement, he was seated on the bed next to Buffy.

She looked over at him finally. "What are you doing?"

Spike smirked. He lowered his lips to her collarbone and started nibbling the sensitive flesh he found there. "Stuff," he mimicked her earlier answers.

Buffy tried to push him away, but either his grip on her was too strong or she wasn’t putting up much of a fight. "Don’t," Buffy breathed as Spike’s hand found its way underneath her panties. "I’m still mad at you."

"Don’t be." Spike lips trailed a hot path from her neck down to her cotton clad breasts. "I’m sorry, baby. I won’t do it again."

Buffy bucked her hips as Spike slipped a finger between her folds. "You can’t just, uh!" she started panting between words. "Buy her things like-oh!-that without asking me."

"It’ll never happen again," he assured her before capturing her lips with his. Buffy finally relented and let herself respond to his touch.

Spike pushed her discarded magazine to the floor before covering her body with his. Buffy caressed his hard chest with her hands, reveling in the feel of his muscles. It had been too long since she’d been able to touch him. The kiss deepened, both of their tongues dueling for dominance.

Warning bells went off in Buffy’s head when Spike reached between them to pull down her pajama shorts. "Spike," she murmured against his lips. "Spike!" she repeated after she got no response.

"Huh?" he muttered, lowering himself down her body in time with her shorts.

Buffy pushed Spike away before he could attempt to stick his face between her legs. She pulled up her shorts and sprang out of the bed. "We can’t," she told him regretfully.

"Why the hell not?" he asked sitting up and adjusting himself.

Buffy sighed. "Because Sarah’s in the next room and Dawn will be coming home soon." She walked to her closet, pulling out fresh sheets and a pillow. "I’ll make up the couch for you."

"You think Sarah or Dawn will object to me staying in here with you?" Buffy could tell by the tone in Spike’s voice, that he didn’t think that was the case.

"No," she admitted. "But you know as well as I do that no one will be getting any sleep if you stay in here with me."

Spike couldn’t argue with that logic and followed her into the living room.

Chapter Twenty

"This room is huge!" Dawn exclaimed as they entered their hotel room. For Sarah’s birthday, one of Spike’s many presents had been a trip to Disney World. Spike had sprung for one of the hotels inside the park and gotten them the largest suite in the hotel. "This must have cost a fortune!" Dawn rushed inside one of the bedrooms.

Buffy chewed her lip nervously. "This does look really expensive, Spike."

"Bollocks," Spike replied with a smile as he lifted Sarah into his arms. "It’s Sarah’s birthday," he reasoned. "She deserves it. And so do we," he added with a smirk. Although he did want the best for his daughter, he did have some ulterior motives. Buffy had been uncomfortable being intimate with him at her apartment, but he hoped the master bedroom itself was enough to convince her to spend the night with him. The room had an enormous king sized bed and a Jacuzzi tub, perfect to set a romantic atmosphere.

Buffy raised an eyebrow at his suggestion.

"Why don’t you go unpack us in the master bedroom while I round up the bit and get our princess ready?"

Buffy nodded her assent, and before she could rethink her decision Spike was off to tend to the younger Summers girls.



"Ooh! Tower of Terror!" Dawn exclaimed as they approached the aforementioned ride. "Let’s go on it!"

Buffy shook her head. "I think Sarah and I will sit this one out." She gulped nervously at the height of the ride.

"I could sit out with Sarah if you and the bit want to go," Spike offered. He, too, gulped nervously. When he saw the ride all he could think of was the elevator in his own office building crashing its occupants to their fiery deaths.

"Would you two quit being babies?" Dawn rolled her eyes. "They have a baby swap so you can both go on the ride."

"With that kind of attitude, you can go on by your-" Spike was cut off by the sound of his cell ringing.

Buffy, who had been carrying Spike’s cell in her purse, fished around for it. "Didn’t you tell my father you would be on vacation?" she asked jokingly.

"Like that matters," Spike replied as she found his cell. She looked at it quickly before shoving it into his outstretched hand angrily.

"I think I feel like going on the ride after all," Buffy declared handing Spike the stroller she’d been pushing Sarah in.

Spike’s eyes widened at her abrupt change in mood. He looked down at his phone before realizing the cause of her anger. "Buffy, it’s not what you think!"

"Save it, Spike," Buffy fumed. "I don’t know what you think this is, but you can’t have a different girlfriend in every city."

"Buffy!" Spike yelled when she turned her back on him, prepared to walk away.

Buffy turned back to glare at him before grabbing her sister’s arm and leading her away from Spike.




Things between Buffy and Spike were extremely tense for the rest of the day. Dawn tried everything she could think of to make either of them smile, but if she did it was only for a second. Their bad moods were grating on her nerves, but she couldn’t really blame Buffy for being angry. It did seem weird that even after three months, Spike’s ex was still in the picture. The most irritating part of it all was, as usual, Spike and Buffy refused to talk to each other about it.

One they were back at the hotel room, Dawn quickly retreated into her room to call her friend Janice. She couldn’t wait to talk to someone who wasn’t brooding.

With Dawn’s chatter gone, Spike and Buffy operated in silence. Buffy took Sarah into the third bedroom to get her changed for the night. Spike sighed to himself going into the bathroom to take a shower.

When Spike entered their bedroom after his shower, Buffy was busying herself at one of the dressers. She gave no indication that she was aware of his presence which caused him to frown in irritation.

"Buffy, we need to talk about this." Spike stood in the middle of the room, clad in only a towel.

Buffy remained standing with her back to him. "Don’t you have to call back Drac-silla?"

"Drusilla," he corrected her before he could stop himself.

"Whatever."

"So, this is how it’s gonna be?" Spike asked incredulously. "Every time we get into a fight, you’re going to act like a child?"

Buffy turned to glare at him, too angry to notice his lack of clothing. "I’m only twenty one, Spike, I can act like a child if I want to," she stubbornly replied. "And there won’t be an ‘every time’ if you’re seeing Drusilla behind my back!"

Spike threw up his hands angrily. "I’m not seeing her behind your back!" he insisted.

Buffy placed her hands on her hips. "Then why is she calling you?" Buffy knew she sounded like an irrational, jealous girlfriend, but that’s exactly what she was at the moment.

Spike shook his head to clear his thoughts before taking a seat on the edge of the bed. He hadn’t wanted to burden Buffy with his problems concerning Drusilla, but he supposed she had a right to know. "Drusilla didn’t take the breakup well."

"The breakup?" Buffy cried. "This has been going on since January?!"

Spike could only nod. "She calls me all the time. At first I would answer and tell her not to call me anymore, but that didn’t work so now I just ignore the calls."

"Why don’t you just change your number?"

"Work," Spike answered. "It’d be too much of a hassle. Besides, she calls my apartment, too."

Buffy’s head was spinning. She had no idea what to say to this. She wanted to kill Drusilla for chasing after her boyfriend, and she wanted to kill Spike for keeping it from her for so long.

Buffy sat down next to Spike, placing her hand over his in a peace offering. Her eyes went wide as she realized something she hadn’t before. "She’s obsessed with you," she murmured. "What if she does something crazy? What if she tries to hurt you?"

"Don’t worry about me," Spike assured her. "I can handle myself." Spike leaned in to peck her lips. When she didn’t pull away, he lifted her on top of him so she was straddling his lap. "I’m sorry," he whispered against her collarbone.

"I’m sure there’s some way you can make it up to me," she breathed in response. "Show me that you won’t keep anything from me again."

And Spike began doing just that. He lifted both her shirt and bra so he could pay immediate attention to her hardened nipples. Buffy pulled the garments over her head, moaning as his hand traveled beneath her skirt.

"Am I forgiven yet, luv?"

"Not-yet," Buffy panted as he began to play gently with her clit.

Spike pushed away the towel that had been wrapped around his waist. Buffy gasped as she heard the sound of her panties being ripped from her body. "Sorry, baby, I’ll buy you a new pair," he promised before thrusting up and into her moist channel.

Buffy moaned loudly.

"Quiet, kitten, don’t want the whole hotel to hear us."

Buffy nodded, bringing her lips down to his to cover the sounds that would inevitably be coming out. She rode him at a painstakingly slow pace, loving the look of tortured ecstacy on his face. After she felt he’d been tormented enough, she began to ride him faster. Spike’s hands made their way to her hips to quicken her rhythm as he simultaneously thrust up into her.

With each upward thrust, his pelvis rocked against her clit, bringing her closer and closer to her orgasm. She could tell from Spike's groans and sighs that he was almost there as well. On his final thrust, Spike slammed deep inside Buffy. They came together and Spike covered her lips with his own to drown out the sound of his name.

Buffy slumped against Spike’s own languid body when the intense feelings of their orgasms surpassed. She kissed his shoulder affectionately as they each tried to catch their breath.

"Am I forgiven, now?" Spike asked leaning back on his elbows with a cocky smirk on his handsome face.

Buffy pulled away from him, collapsing beside him on the bed. "What do you think?"

Chapter Twenty-One



It was the last day of Spike’s vacation. Dawn and Spike had said their goodbyes before Dawn had left for school that morning. Buffy took the day off from work and school so that she could drop Spike off at the airport.

The week since they’d returned from Disney World had been incredible. Spike loved seeing his daughter everyday and living with Buffy and Dawn. Buffy had allowed him to move into her bedroom and in the early hours of the morning when they were sure everyone was asleep, they’d make love for hours. Both could barely go through an entire day without napping.

Buffy entered the bedroom as Spike finished packing. He was fresh out of the shower, clad in her pink terrycloth towel, deciding what to wear for the flight home.

"That’s a sexy look for you," Buffy teased him, closing the door behind her.

Spike eyed her curiously. "What are you doing?" he asked as Buffy sauntered sexily towards him.

"Well, Dawn’s at school," she practically purred. "Sarah’s taking a nap." Buffy held up a baby monitor. "What do you wanna do?"

Spike smirked. "We could watch some telly. Passions will be on soon."

Buffy shook her head from her place in front of him. With a flick of her wrist, the towel landed around his ankles.

"You always catch me like this, Miss Summers."

Buffy giggled. Her hands roamed his chest as she pushed him back towards the bed.

Spike’s knees hit the bed and he was forced into a sitting position. He was about to pull Buffy on top of him when she knelt before him.

Buffy’s hand wrapped around Spike’s semi erect cock, stroking it to life. She placed lazy kisses against his inner thighs and lower abdomen.

Still stroking him, Buffy brought her mouth over the head licking up the precum that had already started to spill.

Spike’s eyes rolled back into his head at the feel of her hot mouth on his penis.

Sucking him in as much as she could, Buffy brought her idle hand to fondle his balls.

The feelings she elicited from him were amazing. He brought one of her small throw pillows to his face, covering the loud moans he was making. The last thing he wanted was for Sarah to wake up and Buffy to leave him. He was so deeply embedded in her mouth that every time she swallowed he thought he might come. Her hand was working in perfect timing with her mouth.

"Oh, God," he murmured, the pillow slightly away from his mouth just enough for her to hear him. "Baby, you’re so," gasp, "sexy!"

She licked up the vein on the underside of his erection. Spike thought he really might spontaneously combust from her touches. "I love you!" he cried, forgetting about being quiet. "You’re bloody perfect!"

He twitched as she scraped her teeth lightly against him. Her tongue wrapped around the head of his cock, licking and sucking until she heard him moan and reach for the pillow. His hips thrust involuntarily into her mouth as he came, yelling her name into the pillow.



Half an hour before they had to leave for the airport, Buffy felt like crying. She didn’t want Spike to go back to L.A. Who knew how long it would be before they could see each other again?

Spike seemed to sense her dread. He reached out to her from his place on the sofa, bringing her into his lap.

"I don’t want you to go," she said quietly, resting her head against his shoulder.

"I don’t want to leave, either, kitten, but I have to get back to work." Spike kissed the top of her head. He’d been thinking a lot about their living arrangements. No relationship could work if the participants lived on opposite coasts.

"I’ve been thinking," Spike started, nervous to voice his feelings on the matter. "Sooner or later we’re going to have to live in the same city."

Buffy raised her head to look into his eyes. Instead of saying anything she nodded and waited for him to continue.

"We could live together?" he suggested, bringing his hand up to cup the back of her neck. "I want to be with you all the time, Buffy. It’s killing me knowing I have to go back to L.A. where I won’t be able to see you for God knows how long!"

Buffy smiled brightly down at him. "I want to be with you, too."

Spike brought her head down to meet him for a passionate kiss. "As soon as I get back to L.A. I’ll start looking for a bigger apartment for all of us."

Buffy jerked her head away from his. "In L.A.?" Spike nodded. "I can’t move to L.A., Spike! My life is here."

"I don’t understand, I thought you said you wanted to be with me."

"I do!" Buffy insisted. She hopped off his lap and began to pace. "I want you to live here with me."

"Buffy, you know I can’t do that," Spike replied gently. "My job is in L.A."

"And my life is here in Miami! My school, Dawn’s school, our friends, my job!"

"You and Dawn can go to school anywhere!" he argued, standing up. "My job in L.A. is stable. I can support us better there."

"I am not rasing my daughter in that city," she told him. "L.A. is no place for a child."

"Your parents raised you there and you turned out just fine."

"I got pregnant at sixteen!" she yelled. "That’s not exactly turning out fine!"

”So, what? This is you leaving me again?” Spike asked in disbelief.

Buffy shook her head sadly. “No, this is you leaving us.”

Spike sighed and checked his watch, her words sending a pang of guilt to his heart. "We don’t have time to fight about this now." He left her to retrieve his luggage from her bedroom.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Spike wanted to call Buffy several times on his flight back to L.A., but every time he went to do so he remembered that they still did not have a solution to their problem. Unless one of them relented - and it wasn’t going to be Spike - they still had things to figure out.

Saying that the ride to the airport with Buffy had been tense would be the understatement of the year. He’d tried to ease the tension with small talk and bad jokes, but it got him nowhere. Instead of the steamy goodbye he’d envisioned, she barely grazed his lips.

We’ll figure something out. He’d left her with that promise, one he intended on keeping.

As he stared out the window of the taxi taking him home, watching the people and buildings whirl by, he felt incredibly discouraged. It seemed as if a higher power was constantly playing games with his relationship with Buffy; as soon as they were remotely happy something would happen to tear that happiness away from them. Now, not only did he have to worry about hurting Buffy, but he had to worry over how things would fare where his daughter was concerned.

Spike sighed, closing his eyes in irritation. What a mess they’d made of things!

As the taxi pulled to a stop in front of his apartment building, Spike quickly climbed out, wanting nothing more than a good night’s sleep, although he doubted he’d be getting one with all the worries plaguing his mind.

His doorman started towards the taxi to help with his luggage, but Spike already had his two suitcases in his hands and was striding towards the door. Nodding his thanks, he walked through the open door, heading straight for the elevator.

But I want to live here, Spike, he mimicked Buffy silently as he waited for the doors to open on his floor. Yeah, move there so I can be unemployed and live off her tips from the kiddie center, he snickered at the thought.

The elevator dinged as the doors opened. Spike rushed through them, wanting only to be inside his apartment where he could sit down and have a drink.

Spike stopped, hearing loud folk music coming from one of the neighboring apartments. He cringed, hoping he wouldn’t be able to hear it after a few drinks. The closer he got to his apartment, the louder the music became which only darkened his mood.

Fitting his key into the hole, Spike could swear the music was coming from inside his apartment. Spike frowned, hoping he wasn’t being robbed but quickly deciding against it. No thief, no matter how crazy, would draw so much attention to themselves.

Before turning the key to unlock the door, Spike tested out the knob realizing that the door wasn’t locked at all. He opened the door slowly and quietly, hoping it was Angel inside and not...

Drusilla.

His looney ex was sprawled out on his couch, wearing nothing but one of his dress shirts. The room, the whole damn apartment seemed to be in disarray. He now regretted giving Drusilla an all access pass to his home. Set on proving that his relationship with Drusilla was what was important after the run-in with Buffy and the whelp he now knew as Faith’s husband at that Italian place, he’d given Dru a key to his apartment. He’d automatically jumped to conclusions about Buffy being in a relationship, and not wanting to get hurt again by her, he’d done something he should have known he’d end up kicking himself for.

When Spike finally found his voice, he asked, "How long have you been here?"

Finally noticing she wasn’t alone in the room, Drusilla looked up at him with a lopsided grin. "Only for a moment."

Spike shook his head, finally stepping all the way into the apartment and shutting the door. The first thing he did was rush over to the stereo to shut off the horrid music she’d been blasting. Then, he came around to stand before her. "Drusilla, you shouldn’t be here."

"Miss Edith told me you’d be needing me on your return home," Drusilla told him, rising from the couch. She stood before him, their bodies so close to touching Spike held his breath to keep from doing so. "My boy needs his mommy now that nasty sunshine’s done playing with him."

Spike wanted to step away from her, he really did, but something held him in place. Her words, although they were insane, had some truth to them. Buffy only wanted him when it was convenient for her. She was trying to turn his world upside down. What sacrifices was she willing to make for him? He was just expected to move across the country for her, but what could he expect from her in return? He hoped he could count on her to be with him, but with their past he had many doubts.

Spike shook his head, as if trying to clear the bothersome thoughts from his mind. He couldn’t think rationally with Drusilla so close to him, so why hadn’t he moved already?

"I’m here for you, my sweet William," she breathed into his ear suggestively. Their bodies were now touching as she pressed herself up against him. "Let Mummy take care of you."

Spike could feel himself giving into her familiar touch, all his problems with Buffy leaving his mind as she nipped at his neck



Buffy threw herself down on the sofa tiredly. After dropping Spike off at the airport, her day had gone by in a daze. She wouldn't cry anymore, when she did she felt useless. She should be figuring out a way for her and Spike to be together. She threw her head against the cushions of the couch, feeling like she was in a losing battle.

As soon as her eyelids closed, the front door to her apartment opened. Sarah and her new puppy, who she decided to name Princess Sparkles of all names, came rushing in, Dawn trailing slowly behind them.

Sarah jumped on the couch next to Buffy. "Mommy, is Daddy coming home soon?"

Buffy looked down at her daughter's hopeful expression. "I hope so sweetie," she answered truthfully.

Dawn, who had just entered the room, heard the exchange and her sister's weary tone. She'd suspected that something was wrong between Buffy and Spike, and made a mental note to talk to her sister after Sarah was asleep. "Come on, Sar." She extended her hand to the child. "Bath time."

As Sarah jumped off the couch, Buffy sent Dawn a grateful smile. Buffy sighed and threw her head back, wishing she could forget about her problems.

Chapter Twenty-Three

After his confusing encounter with Drusilla the previous night, Spike drank until he’d passed out. He’d woken early that morning in an upright position on the couch feeling the effects of the alcohol tenfold.

It had been hard to get off the couch. Not only because he was stiff from sleeping in that position all night, but because he knew he had to go to work and face Buffy’s father. Even though his boss didn’t know of Spike’s relationship with his daughter, Spike knew he would feel guilty in his presence.

Buffy wasn’t accustomed to sharing details about her personal life with her father, so it had been natural for her not to keep him informed on her newest relationship. Spike, on the other hand, knew they would eventually have to fill Hank in on their sordid past and had been mentally preparing himself ever since his reunion with Buffy. He hoped he still had a job once that conversation took place.

That wasn’t the only reason Spike was feeling guilty. Last night he’d almost made the biggest mistake of his life. He’d let Drusilla get as far as unbuttoning his pants before he’d kicked her out, demanding she leave her key. Knowing how crazy she is, she probably had a replica made which was why his landlord was having his locks changed that day. Any doubts he had last night were gone, and he wanted her out of his life permanently.

That didn’t mean things were resolved between himself and Buffy. After their fight over Drusilla in Florida, Spike knew he’d have to tell Buffy about Drusilla’s attempted seduction. This was just another problem to add onto the list.

Hoping to get some work done, he steered his mind away from the woman in his life to a bright yellow folder laying on his desk. Inside were cases Angel had taken care of in his absence, and a post-it displaying a note from Hank to meet with him in his office as soon as Spike had looked over the files. Spike sighed, determined to take his time before he had to face his boss.

Spike nervously fingered the folder as he sat in Hank’s office waiting for him to finish a meeting with investors. He knew he was being ridiculous, his fear that Buffy had broken the silence between her and her father to complain about him unrealistic, but he couldn’t help himself. The stress of his situation had brought him to these feelings of insecurity and he hated it.

He stood, hoping to ease the tension from his body. Glancing around the office as he started pacing, Spike noticed that Hank’s office was very impersonal. Spike respected his boss, with the exception for his various infidelities, and aspired to someday have all that Hank possessed-a family, a successful law firm, and the means to allow his loved ones a comfortable life style.

Giving the office a second look, Spike noticed how empty it looked. He expected to find pictures of Buffy, Dawn and Sarah on his desk, but it was empty except for a calendar and numerous post-it notes. The realization that Hank didn’t value his family caused Spike to frown. He’d known it, of course, all along but had never thought that his life could end up as empty as Hank’s seemed to be.

"William?" Hank called to him, breaking through his thoughts.

Spike looked up, finally noticing his boss who’d been in the office for quite a few moments before the blonde had noticed.

"Are you alright?" Hank asked.

"Sorry, just lost in thought," he replied waiting for Hank to take a seat behind the desk, before taking a seat himself.



Buffy looked up from her homework, interrupted by the playful shrieks from her four year old. She was sitting at a picnic table at the park across the street from her apartment building, trying to finish her schoolwork so she could enjoy a quiet night at home. Dawn was keeping Sarah busy in the sandbox, helping her niece build a sand castle that seemed to never get any higher than the little girl.

Knowing that she should really be concentrating on her work, Buffy looked back down. The nagging voice in the back of her mind reminded her that she hadn’t fully concentrated on anything in the week since Spike had returned to L.A. That first afternoon, before her sister came home from school, Buffy sobbed in her room at the unfairness of it all. Finally, when things were so close to working out between her and Spike, another obstacle was placed between them.

After that day, her mind had always been on Spike. Everywhere she went she thought she saw him, hoping he was there to tell her everything would work out between them. He told her he would figure something out, and she believed he would try to but some things just weren’t meant to be. It would hurt a lot less for them to figure that detail out now, rather than farther down the road. Who was she kidding? It was going to hurt just as much either way, but she knew she’d be able to move on like she’d had to before. She just didn’t want to move on without him.

A loud truck passed by, interrupting her thoughts and bringing her eyes to the street. Her eyes opened wide as the truck passed, revealing the front of her building. At first she thought he was another one of her hallucinations. But there was no mistaking him this time, his stance was too familiar to be anyone else.

A smile graced her lips, genuine for the first time in days. He was holding a bouquet of flowers and his head was down, it looked as if he were practicing a speech he’d prepared.

Forgetting about her work spread out on the table top, and knowing Dawn could watch Sarah, Buffy climbed out of her seat and started walking across the street. Her pace quickened with every step as she neared her destination.

"Spike?" she called quietly from behind him.

Spike looked up, caught off guard. He’d been going over everything he wanted to say to her and suddenly she was standing behind him. He took a deep breath and turned around. At the sight of her, every word he’d practiced the entire plane journey there left his brain.

"What are you doing here?" she asked eventually when he remained silent.

Spike looked down at the arrangement in his hand. "Brought you flowers," he said thrusting the bouquet at her.

Buffy smiled at him, not sure what to think of their awkwardness around each other. "Thanks," she replied, accepting the beautiful gift.

Spike cleared his throat, fighting to remember anything he’d wanted to tell her. "We need to talk."

Buffy suddenly didn’t like where this was going. "So talk," she responded simply, not caring that he obviously wanted to go somewhere more private.

"Right." Spike nodded, still trying to steady himself. He was a lawyer for God’s sake! He was supposed to be good at talking to people. But then again, Buffy wasn’t people. "I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about us," he started. He hurried when Buffy crossed her arms across her chest. "I’ve talked to Hank about us-"

"You what!?"

"Let me finish, pet," Spike pleaded, taking a deep breath. "I’ve talked to Hank, and he knows everything now." Buffy raised an eyebrow, curious at her father’s reaction. "He wasn’t very happy with you, but I gave him the watered down version of the story." Spike paused. "I also told him that I’d have to put in my two weeks notice since I’d be moving soon."

Buffy couldn’t believe her ears. "You’re what?"

Spike chuckled. "Don’t tell me you don’t want me anymore, love, quitting my job isn’t something I do for everyone."

His response was Buffy throwing herself in his arms, peppering kisses all over his face. "Don’t worry," she assured him when she pulled back. "We’ll find you work down here, I’m sure there’s plenty of firms that need lawyers."

"Actually, there are," he agreed. "But Hank’s sending me down with a full staff, so that won’t be necessary."

Spike didn’t think her eyes could get any wider before they fell right out of their sockets. "He did what? He gave you your own firm? This is amazing!" she said, slightly dazed at all the news she’d been given in a matter of minutes.

"Well, technically I’m just managing the firm. You’re father owns it until we get married," he told her nonchalantly.

"Until we’re what?" she repeated, hating herself for sounding so simple, but she couldn’t quite comprehend all she was being told. She turned her head at the sound of her daughter’s squeals to see Dawn pushing Sarah on the swings. They appeared oblivious to the exchange across the street, but Buffy knew Dawn was watching every minute of it.

When Buffy turned back around, Spike was gone. She almost cried out, believing for a moment that it had all been a dream, too good to be true. Then she heard Spike clear his throat, and looked down to see him on one knee before her.

"Buffy, I’ve known for quite some time that you’re the woman I want to marry. I want spend the rest of my life with you." He took the ring out of the box it was nestled inside. "I love you. Will you marry me?"

Spike watched her, as she bowed her head slightly. He silently cursed himself for proposing out of nowhere, he’d never considered that she wasn’t ready for such a big step. The seconds seemed agonizingly slow as he waited for her rejection.

Finally, she looked up at him. She eyes were somewhat watery, but he couldn’t tell if where they stemmed from. And then his heart started racing as she began to nod her head.

"Yes!" she exclaimed after reassuring herself that Spike was really proposing to her. "Of course, I’ll marry you Spike."

Spike beamed, placing the ring on her finger before embracing her tightly. He kissed her as Dawn and Sarah came rushing over towards them. Finally, everything seemed right with them.


Author's Note: That's the end. I'm sad to see it end, but also happy to have finished my first fic! Please let me know what you thought (don't be too hard on me, though). I tried to make it a happy ending, but not too sappy or disgusting. As always, a big thank you to the reviewers-it means a lot to see that people liked my story, and also a HUGE thank you to my beta victoria who was awesome at editing this story.