They always leave


Buffy quietly closed the front door behind her, not wanting to wake the other residents of the house. It was after three in the morning, and everyone should be asleep. She made her way into the kitchen, and was surprised when she was Tara sitting at the kitchen island, eating ice cream.

“Hi sweetie.” Tara whispered, offering Buffy a small smile. “Where’ve you been?” Buffy sat down next to Tara and took the spoon the other girl offered her.

“I’ve been down at the police station for the last five hours trying to explain what I was doing at the scene of a bank robbery. What are you doing up?” Buffy sighed and took a spoonful of the Rocky Road ice cream.

“Couldn’t sleep. They got the trio?” Tara asked and took back the spoon. Buffy nodded.

“Yeah. I managed to take Warren’s superpowers, something about the orbs of... I don’t know. Then he tried to pull a Rocket Man, but it didn’t really work out.” Buffy smiled a little at the memory. “He flew straight into the balcony he was standing under, and was knocked out. The police got them all for bank robbery and assault, so we won’t have to worry about them for a while.”

“But there’s something else bothering you.” Tara stated, handing the spoon back to Buffy, who nodded. “Willow said you seemed upset before, and Xander was really angry. What happened?”

Buffy hesitated for a moment. Should she tell Tara? Would she understand? Did she herself understand?

“Spike came over. He... I guess he wanted to apologize or something, about the thing... with Anya.”

“Isn’t that good?” Tara asked, frowning.

“It would have been. I... I wouldn’t let him, didn’t accept it. I told him that what he was feeling wasn’t real, that it was just lust and desire and that it couldn’t last. I brought him right to the edge and then I gave him that one, final push.” Buffy huffed. “I’m surprised it didn’t happen ages ago. The way I’ve treated him these past couple of months...”

“What happened?” Tara asked, not sure she wanted the answer.

“He... he tried to... but I stopped him, he didn’t...” Buffy took a deep breath before she continued in a voice Tara could barely hear. “He tried to rape me.”

“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. Are you OK?” Tara put and arm around Buffy’s shoulders.

“I’m fine. I mean physically. Emotionally, I don’t know.” Buffy sniffled and dried a tear that had escaped and was trailing down her cheek.

“It must be hard to think about it, that he could do something like that...” Buffy cut Tara off.

“No. It wasn’t his fault. I... I pushed him, I shouldn’t have... I mean, I’m not saying it’s OK, but...”

“You forgive him.” Tara said and Buffy nodded.

“Almost before it happened. I’m mad at myself for not seeing how close to the edge he was, because of me... and now I’m afraid I’ve lost him for good.” Buffy buried her face in Tara’s shoulder, and Tara ran a comforting hand down her back.

“Shh. It’s OK, it will be OK.” She tried to soothe.

“No, it’s not OK. How could I do that to him? All he ever did was love me, take care of me and the people I loved, and this is how I repay him? I couldn’t even tell him that I...” Buffy cut herself off, realizing what she had been about to say.

“You love him?” It was more a statement than a question, and Buffy slowly nodded her head.

“I didn’t even realize... but I do.” She gave Tara a pleading look. “What am I going to do?”

“You need to talk to him.” Tara said.

“Right. I’ll go talk to him right now.” Buffy got up and headed for the back door.

“Buffy?” Tara called after her, and she turned in the doorway. “Are you OK? I mean, apart from this whole Spike and the nerds thing, are you OK?”

“Why?” Buffy asked, a confused look on her face.

“It’s nothing.” Tara shrugged. “I’ve just been picking up some weird vibes from your aura lately. Like you’re off balance, or something.”

“No, I’m fine.” Buffy shook her head. “Been a bit tired lately, but with all the excitement around the wedding that wasn’t and the trio of evil nerds, it’s to be expected, right?” Tara nodded, and Buffy left the house again, closing the door behind her.

“Right...” Tara said to the empty room.

*****

Buffy knew the way to Spike’s crypt by heart, and let her mind wander as she walked. Did she really love him? Yes, a voice deep inside her said, and she knew it was right. She did, and she had for a while. She had just been too scared to admit it to herself, scared that if she did, he would leave like everyone she loved seemed to eventually do.

Buffy tried to reason with herself. This was Spike she was talking about, he wouldn’t leave. He had stayed when she was dead, because she had asked him to take care of Dawn. He wouldn’t leave. She repeated those words in her mind while she walked through the cemetery. When she came to the crypt, she knocked. No answer.

Buffy opened the door, thinking that maybe he was asleep. She peeked in and saw that the TV was on, so she took a step inside.

“Spike?” She was welcomed by a shriek and flying popcorn, then someone cautiously looked over the back of the armchair. “Clem?” Buffy stared. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, it’s you.” Clem said relieved. “You startled me a little there. Hi!”

“Hi.” Buffy took a few more steps into the crypt. “What are you doing here? Where’s Spike?”

“He asked me to watch his place for a while, said he was going out of town.” Clem kept an eye on the TV, where a black and white western was on.

“Out of town?” Buffy asked, fear creeping up on her. “What do you mean ‘out of town’?”

“He didn’t tell you?” Buffy shook her head and Clem explained. “I came by a couple of hours ago, and Spike was really out of it. I thought you guys had a fight or something. Anyway, he asked me to stay here for a while, he didn’t want someone to move in while he was gone. He really didn’t tell you?”

“No.” Buffy shook her head. “Did he say where he was going? Or when he’d be back?” Clem gave her a sympathetic look and shook his head.

“No, just that he would be gone a while.”

“Oh... OK.” Buffy turned and left the crypt. She walked through the dark cemetery, then through the streets of Sunnydale and didn’t stop until she was at home, safe inside her room. That was when the tears came. He left. Just like they all did.

Denial and realizations


Buffy dropped her keys on the table and slumped back on the couch. She was tired and her back was aching from working a double shift at the Palace. Plus, she had been getting dizzy at the strangest times in the past couple of weeks... or, if she thought about it, actually months. Even before Spike left.

Buffy sighed and looked at her watch. 6 minutes and 35 seconds. That was a new record for her. It had been almost a month since she went to talk to Spike only to find him gone, and she hadn’t heard anything from him. Not that she expected to. She had managed to finally drive him away, just like she always did.

Buffy pushed the thoughts aside and forced herself to get up and walk into the kitchen, where she found Willow and Tara.

“Hey guys.” Buffy sat down in one of the chairs and put a bag from the Palace on the table. “I brought dinner.”

“Hi sweetie. How was work?” Tara opened one of the bags and took a couple of hamburgers out, handing one to Willow.

“Oh, the usual. Annoying customers, a fire in the kitchen, a kid throwing up all over my shoes.” Buffy leaned her cheek in her hands and closed her eyes. Willow put a supportive hand on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. At least you’re home now.”

“Yeah.” Buffy looked around the kitchen. “Where’s Dawnie?”

“She’s over at Janice’s, they’re watching some movie.” Tara said. “I’m picking her up in about an hour, we’ll save some food for her.”

“OK.” Buffy stood up, rubbing her lower back to ease the pain there. “I’m gonna head up to bed, my back is killing me.”

“OK. Night sweetie.” Willow said before turning her attention to the food.

*****

“Have you noticed anything strange with Buffy lately?” Tara asked. It was a couple of hours after their conversation with Buffy in the kitchen, and Willow and Tara were in their room, getting ready for bed.

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Willow pulled the cover down and slipped into the bed. “I mean, she was kinanot herself right after Spike left, but other than that, not really. Why?”

Tara crawled into the other side of the bed and leaned against the headboard.

“I just... I get a weird vibe from her, that’s all.” Willow leaned her head against Tara’s shoulder.

“Weird how?” She asked.

“Like, you remember when Faith took Buffy’s body, a couple of years ago?” Tara asked, getting a nod in return. “Well, it’s sort of like that, only it’s like there’s two different auras around her.”

“What could that be?” Willow asked.

“I have actually seen it before. The two auras thing.” Tara said. At Willow’s questioning look, she continued. “It’s normal for pregnant women.” Willow sat straight up in the bed.

“You mean... you think Buffy’s... pregnant?” Tara nodded. “But... no... she would tell me.”

“I don’t think she knows. That’s the other thing I’ve picked up. Buffy is... I guess you could say off balance with her own body, like she doesn’t know what’s going on. This could explain it.” Willow sunk back down to a lying position and considered what Tara had said for a moment.

“Well, she has been complaining about being tired, and dizzy, and, oh, back ache, and I’m pretty sure I’ve heard her throw up a couple of times. Maybe you’re right.”

“I think we should talk to her.” Tara said. “Help her figure out what’s going on and what to do.” Willow nodded.

“Yeah, we’ll talk to her tomorrow.”

*****

Buffy was sitting on the living room couch, watching some reality show on the TV. She tried to focus on what was going on in the show, but couldn’t quite get a grip on the story. With a sigh she turned the TV off and got up to get something to eat. She stopped when she heard the door open and turned to greet Willow and Tara.

“Hey, guys. I didn’t think you’d be home so early.” Buffy said. “Where’ve you been?”

“We want to talk to you, sweetie. Let’s sit down.” Tara sat down on the couch, Willow sitting next to her. Buffy crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“What’s going on guys?” She said, getting a little nervous.

“We just want to talk to you, that’s all.” Willow said, giving Buffy a... guilty? look.

“What is this, some sort of intervention? Cause let me tell you, I’ve had enough of those.” Buffy tried to joke, without a response.

Willow and Tara exchanged a look before Willow spoke.

“We’re a little worried about you.” She said.

“Why? I’m fine.” Buffy replied.

“Remember what I said about your aura a couple of weeks ago? That something was weird?” Tara asked and Buffy nodded. “Well, I think I’ve figured out what it is. When Faith hijacked your body, there was a disbalance because her aura didn’t fit.”

“You think someone’s taken over my body again?” Buffy asked. “I’m pretty sure I would’ve noticed that.”

“No, no that’s not what she ment.” Willow said.

“No.” Tara agreed. “This is different. It’s like you have two completely different auras, that exist together in your body.”

“What does that mean? I have some kind of parasite, or what?” Buffy had a confused look on her face. Tara shook her head.

“No. I think you’re pregnant.” To both Willow and Tara’s surprise, Buffy started laughing.

“Good one, guys, I almost fell for it. Did Dawn put you up to this?”

“No, Buffy we’re serious.” Willow said. “Think about it. You’re always tired lately, and you’ve said it yourself that your back hurts.”

“From work. Yours would too if you worked at the Palace for ten hours a day.” Buffy said defensively.

“And what about the nausea?” Willow asked, and Buffy looked away. “You have been getting sick in the morning, right?”

“Well, yeah a couple of times, but that doesn’t...”

Willow interrupted Buffy’s explanation.

“And the dizziness, what about that? And when did you last have your period?”

“I... I don’t know, a couple of months ago, I guess, but it’s been real stressful lately, you know...” Buffy’s voice died out as realization dawned on her. “No. I... I can’t be... I haven’t been with anyone since Riley left.”

“What about Spike?” Tara said in a soft voice.

“But... he’s... no, it’s not...” Buffy buried her face in her hands. “Oh God.” Willow moved a little so she could put an arm around Buffy’s shoulders.

“It’s gonna be OK, sweetie. We’ll be there for you, you know that, right?” Buffy looked up at Willow.

“I know. I just... I don’t understand how this happened. I mean, he’s a vampire, and they can’t...” Buffy didn’t finish the sentence.

“I think I do.” Tara said, causing both Buffy and Willow to give her confused looks.

“You do?” Willow said and Tara nodded.

“I’ve been reading some old Watcher’s Diaries, and I remember something from the fifteenth century.” Tara got up and walked over to the bookcase where Giles had left some of the journals. She picked one and brought it over to the couch, flipping it through. “Here it is. It’s written by Juan Mendez, he was the Watcher for Serena Velazquez in Spain from 1435 to 1438. There’s an entry about a young Spanish girl who was said to be in love with a vampire. The vampire in question was killed. A couple of months later, the girl had a baby, and she claimed that the vampire was the father. Juan investigated it further, and came to the conclusion that the cause of the girl’s pregnancy was a ritual called the Kiss of Blood.” Tara looked at Buffy. “Have you ever heard of it?” Buffy shook her head.

“I have.” Willow said. “It’s a sign of devotion between vampires, a kind of ‘I love you’ thing. During... well, you know, they bite each other and mix the blood in a kiss. But I’ve never heard of anything like this.”

“It’s probably never been done with a human before. Do you know if you two... did that?” Tara asked.

“I’m not sure. I know that he bit my tongue a couple of time while we... but I don’t know if he did the blood mixing thing.” Buffy replied.

“I think we need to get Giles in on this.” Willow said, and Buffy went visibly pale. “It’ll be OK, sweetie, he’ll understand. He loves you.”

“I know...” Buffy said. “I’m just scared he’ll react like Xander did.”

“Xander came around, and you two are fine now.” Tara said. “I’m sure Giles will be fine.”

What to expect?


Buffy shivered a little as doctor Harrison spread some cold gel on her stomach. The other woman smiled. It was Buffy’s first visit to the doctor, and she was doing an ultra sound to determine the stage of the pregnancy.

“It’s a little cold, I know. It’ll warm up to your body in a moment.”

She brought a strange looking machine over to where Buffy was lying, and placed a staff-shaped object against Buffy’s lower abdomen. A rapid thumping sounded through the room. Buffy gave the doctor a scared look.

“What’s that?”

“That’s the heart beat.” The doctor pointed at the machine, and Buffy saw a monitor where something blurry was showed. Doctor Harrison indicated a small blob on the screen. “And here’s your baby.”

Buffy felt tears rise in her eyes as she watched the picture. She couldn’t see what the doctor saw, but she knew, by instinct, that this was her child.

*****

“I got the stuff you wanted.” Xander dropped a brown grocery bag on the kitchen counter and slumped down on a chair, eyelids sliding closed.

“Xander, you can’t sleep here!” Buffy nudged Xander on the shoulder while she pulled the pint of strawberry cheesecake Ben & Jerry’s ice cream out of the bag, quickly followed by a jar of extra crunchy peanut butter. “Thanks, sweetie!”

“Umghwlkrn.” Xander answered, putting his head down on the kitchen table. Buffy had called him half an hour ago, at three thirty in the morning, asking him to go to the store for her.

“Xander, I made the couch for you.” Buffy said, shaking Xander awake. His head shot up and he blinked furiously.

“What? I’m up!” Buffy giggled at him.

“I said I made the couch for you, go sleep.” She watched as he, half asleep, wandered into the living room. “And thanks for the food!” She called after him, getting another inaudible mumble in return.

Buffy smiled. Ever since Xander had gotten over the fact that Spike was the father of Buffy’s baby, he had been extremely helpful, from taking Buffy to every doctor’s appointment to, like now, running out in the middle of the night to get her whatever she was craving. Which at the moment, in the fourth month of the pregnancy, was everything from pickles to fried bananas.

*****
“Dawn! Dawn, you home!” Buffy yelled as she closed the front door behind her, not taking her eyes of the black and white photo in her hands. She had just been to her five month check-up and had gotten an ultra sound picture to bring home.

Dawn had been excited when Buffy told her about the pregnancy. When she found out about Spike, she had been a little mad, and Buffy found out Xander had told her about what had happened in the bathroom. As soon as Buffy had convinced Dawn that she had forgiven Spike, and that it was OK for Dawn to forgive him as well, she had gone back to the excited aunt-to-be state.

“What’s with all the yelling?” Dawn asked, coming down the stairs.

Buffy sat down on the couch and motioned for Dawn to come over.

“Come look at this.” Dawn sat down next to Buffy on the couch, and looked at the item in her sister’s hand.

“Is that the baby?” She asked, taking the photo from Buffy.

“Yep. The doctor asked if I wanted a picture. See, there’s the head.” Buffy pointed to the picture. “And that’s the arms, and the legs.”

“Well, I can’t really see anything, but I’ll take your word for it.” Dawn looked in amazement. “I can’t believe I’m going to be an aunt.”

“Hey, feel that?” Buffy took one of Dawn’s hands and placed it on her stomach. Dawn quickly pulled it back again.

“What was that?” Buffy laughed.

“The baby moved. It started a couple of days ago, the doctor said it would be moving a lot soon.”

“Wow. I can’t believe there’s actually a little person in there.”

*****

“Hello?” Buffy said into the phone while poring herself a glass of orange juice.

“Oh, hi Giles... yes I had one yesterday... yes, you can tell the sex in the sixth month, and no, I’ve already told you I don’t want to know, I’ll find out soon enough.” Buffy looked at the ultra sound picture that was pinned to the fridge.

“Yes, everything was fine, still a heartbeat... sorry, just kidding... I know you don’t like it when I joke about it, but it’s just so much fun... you’re cleaning your glasses aren’t you?” Buffy giggled at the thought. Giles had taken the news about Buffy’s pregnancy almost better than she had, and was now very much involved, from across the Atlantic, of course, but still. He had promised to be there for the birth, though, and Buffy was thankful for that. Considering the nature of her pregnancy, even if they knew the baby was human and not a vampire, Buffy had decided on a home birth, and Willow and Tara were training to be midwifes. Even Anya was helping as much as she could.

“OK... I’ll tell the others you said hi, and I’ll talk to you soon.” Buffy hung up the phone and looked at the picture, tracing the outlines of the tiny body she knew was there. Her baby.

*****

“Dawn, you gonna get that?” Buffy called after the second ring of the doorbell. Not getting an answer, she sighed and pushed herself up from the chair she had been sitting on, groaning a little when the familiar pain shot through her back. It had been getting worse in the past couple of weeks, and she was still only seven months pregnant. ‘Just two more months to go’ Buffy thought to herself as she walked through the house ‘You’ve made it this far, you can do it’.

As she walked up to the front door, she heard the sound of Dawn’s music from upstairs. The door bell sounded one more time, and Buffy reached for the doorknob.

“Alright, I’m coming.”



AN: I'm adding this authors note after reading your reviews (thanks a lot, by the way). This story is a little weird, the thing is I have two sequels, but they are paralell. Am I making sense? In one of the stories, Spike comes back after a couple of months, in the other after sixteen years. The sequels are kalled 'Family' and 'Making things right' and I will try to post them this weekend! Thanks again for all the reviews.