One


Spike dropped a twenty in the cab drivers hand before he exited the taxi.

“Keep the change, mate.” He said and closed the car door.

Spike paused on the sidewalk for a moment, inhaling the not so fresh air of New York City. He was finally home. Or, at least almost home. He was just stopping in the Big Apple for a couple of days to meet up with an old ‘friend’ to sort out papers and such. Being alive after having spent over a century as a vampire was – apparently – hard work. Then he was off to California and Monterey, where SHE was supposed to be. Buffy.

At the thought of her Spike closed his eyes for a moment, the image of her running through his mind. It had been ten years since he had last seen her, not counting that time in Rome. He had decided to let her go then, but somehow it hadn’t worked out the way he planned, and now here he was. Before leaving Australia, he had contacted a private detective in Los Angeles who had found Buffy. He hadn’t asked for any other information, not wanting her to feel like he was keeping tabs on her.

A car horn snapped him out of his thoughts, and he decided it was time to get going. Looking around for a moment, he found the right street and started walking.

*****

Buffy walked through the living room to the large stereo and started flipping through CD’s. She had a couple of hours to herself, since Willow and Xander had left for New York the previous day and Giles had taken Andrew with him to the store.

One of the titles caught her eye and she put the disc in the player. The music starter floating through the air, and she closed her eyes letting it wash her away.


Ever since I was eight or nine
I've been standing on the shoreline
Always waiting
For something lasting
Loose your hunger, you loose your way
Get confused and you fade away


Buffy looked around the room, where photos and pictures of loved and lost ones filled the walls. There had been so many, too many. Her eyes wandered until she came to his portrait.


Oh this town
Kills you when you are young
Oh this town
Kills you when you are young

I'm not the boy I used to be
This town has got the youth of me
All eyes turn hollow
From the work of sorrow


Buffy had been smart enough to bring some photos of her family and friends from the house in Sunnydale when they left that last day. But there were so many that she hadn’t had a memory of, him being the first that came to mind.


Standing on the paving
By the office building
They've got so much to do
Never time for you

We are shadows
Oh we're shadows
Shadows in the alley


It was Vi who had surprised them all a few weeks after the battle, when she had showed them drawings of all the fallen. Xander had cried when he had seen Anya, her eyes as full of life as they had always been. Buffy hadn’t said anything, just accepted the portrait in silence. She knew Vi understood.


You die when you're young
You die when you're young
You die when you're young


She had been waiting too. For something lasting. The only problem being, she had been so focused on what that something was supposed to look like that she hadn’t seen it when it was right in front of her. Not until it was too late. Not until he was gone.

‘I love you.’

‘No you don’t. But thanks for saying it.’

*****

Spike looked through the papers he had gotten from his contact. William Anderson, born on November 8th 1980. He now had, not only a social security number and birth date, but a believable past. He had graduated from Columbia in 2002, where he had studied British literature and poetry. Which he had actually studied, before he had been turned. So it was technically just the dates and school that were off.

He tucked the papers into his inner pocket before he opened the door and walked back onto the sidewalk of New York. Now he just needed to get some money, which he had had transferred from a Swiss bank account to the National Bank of New York a few days earlier, and he was off. He started walking down the street, looking for a cab, but stopping when he saw a familiar face. Or, actually, two.

*****

“Everything OK back home?” Xander asked as Willow put the cell phone back in her purse.

“Yep. Nothing out of the ordinary.” She shot him a brief smile before turning her attention to the menu.

“Andy doing OK?” Willow looked up at the question and reached over the table to take Xander’s hand.

“He’s fine, sweetie, you know that. They will survive a week without us. Besides – we deserve it.”

“You’re right.” Xander smiled and squeezed her hand. “We’ve earned this.”

“Exactly.” Willow nodded before giving him her resolve face. “So let’s focus on us, and not talk about... Spike?”

“What, hon? I thought you just said...”

“Well, if it isn’t Red and the Whelp.” Xander looked up at the voice he had been sure he’d never hear again. “Can’t say I was expecting to see the two of you here of all places.” When neither of them said anything he continued. “And I’m guessing you didn’t exactly expect to see me either, what with the whole...”

“Dying?” Willow cut him off. “Burning to ashes in the whole that once was Sunnydale?”

“Well, that’s one way of putting it.” Spike admitted, noticing the bitter edge in the red-head’s voice. Had it always been there? He didn’t think so. He turned his attention to the Whelp, who still had his mouth open in shock.

“Oh, snap out of it.” Spike sighed, and Xander finally closed his mouth. “It’s not like I’m a ghost or anything.”

“Then what exactly are you?” Xander asked, having regained his ability to speak.

“Very much alive.” Spike answered, a content smile on his lips.

That was the first time Willow and Xander noticed the fact that it was broad day light and Spike hadn’t burst into flames yet.

“What... how... what...” Willow gave up on trying to form a understandable sentence and just stared. Xander was, surprisingly, the one to take charge.

“OK, we’re gonna need some sort of explanation, so why don’t you join us?” He pulled up a chair and Spike rounded the table to sit.

“I guess I should probably start from the beginning.” He said, and received two nods in return. “Well, a couple of days after the battle in Sunnydale I, for some reason, found myself in Angel’s office in LA...”

“You’ve been back that long?” Willow practically screamed, lowering her voice when she noticed the other people seated in the open-air restaurant were staring at them. “How could you not contact us? We’ve thought you were dead for ten years just because you couldn’t pick up a phone and...”

“Wil, honey, let him finish.” Xander said, putting a hand on Willow’s arm, effectively calming her down. Spike watched the display, noticing something off about the way the two were interacting, but couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was. Xander gave him a nod and he continued.

“So, this lawyer guy, Lindsey, sent the medallion I was wearing in Sunnydale, you remember that?” They both nodded. “He sent it to Angel, and I was somehow trapped inside, and popped out when Angel opened the envelope the medallion was in. Don’t ask me how it happened, ‘cause I have no idea.

I was incorporeal for a while, couldn’t touch anything or leave LA for that matter, so I was stuck annoying the great Poof for a couple of months. Then, when I regained my body, there were so many things going on in LA that I just couldn’t leave. There was this girl, who had been real nice to me...” At Xander’s expression he hurried to add. “It was nothing like that. She was just a friend, the only one that was decent to me in that place. Anyways, what happened was that her body was overtaken by a god, and I was trying to help the others stop it. But we... we couldn’t, and she died. Or, her spirit anyway. Her body was still there, only with someone else inside it.”

As he talked about the event from almost a decade earlier, Spike realized that it still hurt. He missed the others, all of them, even Peaches. He hadn’t let himself think about any of them for so long, it was almost overwhelming.

“Then there was this whole apocalypse, and I kinda made a promise to Angel before he... he made me promise that I’d let her have a normal life, so that’s what I’ve been doing for the past nine years. Only I wasn’t going to take the easy way out and just stay away. I went looking for a demon who was supposed to be able to restore humanity to vampires, a legend. I didn’t even know for sure if it existed, but I found it. It took almost ten years, but I found it. And now, here I am.”

Spike leaned back in the chair as he finished his story, and waited for the questions to start.

“Let me get this straight.” Xander said, leaning forward and trying to grasp the situation. “You came back as a ghost a couple of days after Sunnydale, haunted Angel in LA for a while, got your body back and actually HELPED Angel and his guys with an apocalypse, and after that you’ve been looking for your humanity all over the world?”

“That’d be the short version of it, yeah.” Spike nodded.

“You couldn’t call, send a letter, anything, to let her know you were OK?” Willow asked, not sounding angry anymore, but rather... tired, Spike thought.

“That was just the thing, I made a promise.” He saw the disbelieving looks on the couple’s faces. “I know you don’t think that means anything to me, but it does. Don’t think Buffy wasn’t the first thing on my mind when I came back, but time just went by, and then there was the apocalypse and I was the only one left, and I couldn’t just break a promise to a dead man, could I?”

“Angel’s... dead?” Willow asked, an expression of pain on her face. Spike nodded.

“You mean you didn’t know? Buffy doesn’t know either?” He asked, and both Willow and Xander shook their heads.

“Buffy and Angel didn’t have a lot of contact after the battle in Sunnydale, and when she didn’t hear from him, she thought he’d decided to stay away completely.” Xander explained.

“What about the others?” Willow asked quietly. “Wesley, Gunn, Fred, what happened to them?”

“Gone.” Spike replied. The look of pain that he’d noticed seemed constant on Willow’s face deepened a little at his words. “Fred was the one who’s body that God took, Wes was killed before the battle and both Angel and Gunn died fighting.”

“You were the only one who survived?” Xander asked and Spike nodded.

“Don’t ask me why, I’ve been asking myself that for the past decade, and I still don’t have the answer.”

“You survived because she needs you.” Willow said, locking Spike’s eyes in hers.

“Does she?”

“Of course she does!” Willow exclaimed. “She’s needed you for the past ten years, but you weren’t there! She needed you when...”

“Willow.” Xander interrupted the red-head’s outburst. She took a deep breath and leaned back in the chair, and Spike took the opportunity to change the subject.

“So, how’s everything with you lot? You live here now?” He asked and Xander shook his head.

“No, we all live in Monterey. We’re just here for the week.”

“Actually, it’s our honeymoon.” Willow added, and it was Spike’s turn to let his mouth drop.

“You mean the two of you...” Willow and Xander both nodded. “Weren’t you into girls?”

Willow giggled a little at his expression.

“I think the politically correct term is bisexual.” She said.

“OK. As long as you guys are happy.” Spike shrugged. “So, what’s up with the rest of you? You all live in Monterey, Buffy, the Watcher, Niblet too?” At his words Spike noticed that both Willow and Xander went visibly pale. They exchanged a look before Xander spoke.

“Spike, there’s something you should know...” He hesitated for a moment. “Dawnie’s gone. She’s been dead for over three years.”

*****

Buffy pulled the drawer open and reached inside it, her fingers immediately finding the worn envelope. She pulled the letter out and unfolded it. When her eyes landed on the first words, tears started forming in them.

‘Dear Buffy. If you’re reading this, it means that I’m gone. And don’t even get me started on how cliche that sentence is.’

*****

“What do you mean she’s dead?” Spike asked through gritted teeth. “She can’t be, she’s just a kid, she’s supposed to...” He buried his face in his hands and let the words sink in. Gone. His Niblet, gone. He would never see her again, never hear her laugh or watch over her as she slept. Gone.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up at Willow. She had tears in her eyes and he realized that he probably did too.

“I’m sorry, Spike.” He nodded.

“How... what was it?” He asked, just barely keeping his voice from breaking.

“What do you mean?” Xander asked.

“What killed her? Vampire, demon, what was it?”

“Oh.” Willow said, looking at her hands. “It was nothing like that. She died from complications after Andy was born.”

“Who? What?”

“Maybe we should start from the beginning, Wils?” Xander suggested and Willow nodded.

“Yeah, we probably should.” She agreed. “OK. After the battle in Sunnydale, we went our separate ways for a little while. Me and Kennedy went to South America, Xander took off to Africa, Giles started rebuilding the Council in London and Buffy and Dawn decided to go to Rome. For some reason, Andrew went with them. Some of the other Slayers were sent to different Hellmouths around the world, some went home to protect their cities, and the rest went were they wanted to.

About a year and a half after the collapse of Sunnydale, a organized group of vampires killed the four Slayers that were stationed at the Cleveland Hellmouth, and Buffy decided to take over, asking Faith and Kennedy to go with her. So that’s how we ended up in Cleveland.”

“I’d had enough of Africa by then and decided to join the party.” Xander interjected.

“The bad stuff started a couple of months after we got to Cleveland.” Willow continued. “We had managed to get rid of the vampires that had killed the Slayers, and everyone were starting to feel like home. When Kennedy didn’t come home after patrol one night, we just thought she’d gone to some club or something.” Xander noticed that Willow had to fight the tears back and took over.

“Her body was found the next morning, we still don’t know what killed her.” He said quietly.

“I’m sorry, Red. Know how much it hurts.”

“Yeah, it does.” Willow nodded. “We weren’t actually together, we had decided that we were better off as friends, but it still hurt.” Spike squeezed the red-head’s hand, and she gave him a grateful smile.

“So, that happened a little over eight years ago, and everything was nice and quiet for about two years.” Xander continued. “Dawn started college in Cleveland, and the rest of us had pretty decent jobs. And then Robin was killed in a hit and run.”

“The principal?” Spike asked, and Willow nodded.

“He and Faith were married by then, had been for about a year.” She said. “Faith took it really hard, she got... reckless. Went out on patrol by herself, which we hadn’t done since Kennedy got killed. We all tried to talk to her, but she shut us out. Not even Buffy got through. And then... I guess she partly got what she wanted. A couple of fledgelings killed her, if she had been her normal self they wouldn’t have had a chance, but she just... didn’t care anymore.”

“And then the next shock came.” Xander said, giving Willow a small smile. “Remember when Dawnie told Buffy?”

“Yeah.” Willow laughed. “It must have been the summer between her sophomore and junior year in college, right? The summer after Faith...” Xander nodded.

“I can still hear Buff yelling through the house, and the look on Andrew’s face?” Xander laughed too. Willow suddenly seemed to remember that Spike had no idea what they were talking about.

“Sorry.” She pulled herself together. “We’re just remembering when Dawn told Buffy that she and Andrew were dating.”

“They were what?” Spike yelled, getting the attention from the entire restaurant.

“Keep it down, Bleach Boy.” Xander hushed.

“Sorry, I just... you realize I’m gonna have to strangle him, right?”

“Know the feeling, mate.” Xander agreed.

“Can we get back to the topic?” Willow asked before continuing. “Anyway, that was the summer six years ago. As you can probably figure out, Buffy freaked and practically forbid Dawn to see Andrew again.”

“To which she got the ‘I’m 18 you can’t tell me what to do’ card back.” Xander added.

“Yup. Dawn could be very stubborn.” Willow smiled.

“No need to tell me.” Spike agreed.

“Anyway, Dawn and Andrew kept dating, and on the day she graduated from college, four years ago, he proposed.” Willow kept going. “They decided to get married right away, and had a Fourth of July wedding.”

“Andrew was a fully trained Watcher by then, and was training Ally, a Slayer that Buffy had move to Cleveland after Faith died. They were out on patrol one night when...” Xander took over. “It was less than two months after the wedding, and Dawn was devastated. And then she found out about the baby.”

“She was so happy that she would have something to hold on to.” Willow remembered. “She loved that child more than anything in the entire world.”

“So... what happened?” Spike asked, not sure he actually wanted to know, but knowing that he needed the truth.

“There were complications.” Xander said. “She lost too much blood, and the doctors couldn’t do anything.”

“After Dawnie died, Buffy shut down.” Willow said. “She basically locked herself and the baby in her room, only came out when she absolutely needed to. Wouldn’t talk to us. Giles came over from England, but she wouldn’t talk to him either. And then, the day after the funeral, she announced that she had had enough.”

“What do you mean ‘enough’?” Spike asked.

“She said that she was out.” Xander explained. “She said that slaying had taken too much from her, and she wouldn’t let it take the last thing she had left – Andy.”

“That’s his name?”

“Yup.” Willow said, smiling. “Andrew Alexander William Summers.”

“William?”

*****

Buffy dried her tears and kept reading.

‘This isn’t easy to wright, you know. I don’t know how to explain the feeling that I have to do this, it’s just... there. I pray to God that I’m wrong (even if I don’t believe there is a God), but I don’t think I am. I am never going to see my little boy grow up. I won’t walk him to school or put him to bed. I’ll never hear his laugh or dry his tears, and you know what? I HATE IT! The only reason I’m not going completely crazy is because I know that you will take care of my son, maybe even better than I would.

I love you Buffy, I hope you know that. I mean, we yell at each other, and we fight a lot, but you’re still my sister – thanks to a bunch of middle-aged monks – and I will always love you. Remember when you said that to me, on top of Glory’s tower? We’ve come a long way since then, and this time it’s my turn. I will always love you guys, and you need to take care of each other. You need each other, you’re all you’ve got.

I swear I’m almost done. I think I’ve gotten my important points through. There is one last thing I want to ask of you, though, and that is to name my son after the men I’ve loved most in this world.

Andrew after his father, I want him to have a reminder of who he is and where he comes from.

Alexander after my “big brother”. Xander has always been there for me, and I love him to death.

And finally, William, and I think you know why. I loved him, but I didn’t tell him. He died thinking that I still hated him for what happened. I hope that, wherever he is, he will know I’m doing this for him.

I guess that’s it, huh. I still hope that you will never read this, but somewhere deep deep down I know that you will. I finally realize what Cassie felt that time, so many years ago. I know I will die, and I can’t do anything to stop it. And neither can you. Whatever happens, I don’t want you to blame yourself, do you hear me? If you do, I swear I’ll come back a ghost and haunt you!

OK, I’m gonna go now. Once again, I love you and the guys, please tell them that for me.

Love always,
Dawnie’





AN: The song in this chapter is ‘Shoreline’ by a Swedish singer called Anna Ternheim (although the original song is by a group, also Swedish, called Broder Daniel, but the cover is much better). It’s a wonderful song, and the lyrics don’t really do it justice, you need the music too. Listen to it, if you have the chance.

Chapter 2



Spike impatiently paced the gate area at JFK. Not only had he not managed to get plane tickets for earlier than Friday, now his flight was delayed, too.

“Should I take this as a sign, huh mate?” He asked, looking up at the sky, or, more accurately, the ceiling. “Am I just not supposed to be happy, haven’t I done enough in the amends making department, huh?” When he realized that the other people in the departure hall were staring at him, he slumped down into a plastic airport chair and pulled out his newly purchased cell phone. He had to call Red and let her know he wouldn’t be arriving until the following night.

*****

“Hi guys!” Buffy smiled the smile she had learned to master over the past three years, the smile that looked real but didn’t feel real. The smile that fooled everybody. Everybody but Willow, obviously.

“Hi sweetie!” Willow flung her arms around Buffy, pulling her best friend into a crushing hug.

“OK, Wills, not that I’m not glad to see you, but breathing kinda becoming an issue here!” Buffy managed to get out, and Willow quickly let go of her.

“Sorry, Buff.” Willow smiled a slightly crooked smile, recognizing Buffy’s ‘happy face’. She had seen it enough over the past years.

“Hey, Buffster.” Xander took Willow’s place and gave Buffy a bear hug, careful not to squeeze her too tight. “You been holding down the fort?” He asked, pulling away.

“That’s me. Holder of the fort.” Buffy replied, grabbing both of their suitcases and heading for the exit. They attracted a good amount of attention from the people in the airport, who turned to look at the small woman who was practically running through the airport with two large suitcases.

As they reached the car, Buffy unlocked the trunk and put the bags inside before heading for the drivers seat. She noticed the half insecure, half frightened looks on her friends faces.

“What? Are you still afraid of going in the car with me?” She asked, slightly annoyed. She had her licence now, damn it. Were they ever going to trust her with a car? “That accident was not my fault, and you know it.”

“I know, sweetie.” Willow hurried to reassure. “It’s just, we kinda want to get home in... one piece.”

“Oh, fine.” Buffy surrendered, throwing the keys to Xander. “You drive, since I’m obviously not entrusted to.”

“Andy not with you?” Xander asked, getting in the drivers seat.

“No, Giles said he was going to take him to the toy store if he stayed at home with him. Cheater.” Buffy replied, getting into the back seat, leaving the passenger seat for Willow. “He was probably afraid I’d crash the car or something and hurt Andy for life.”

“I’m sure that’s not true, sweetie.” Willow said, reassuring her friend. “You know how Giles loves to spend time with Andy. Those two are as thick as thieves.”

“I know, I just... I wanna spend time with him too.” Buffy complained. “After all, I am the one who’s supposed to take care of him.”

“And you are.” Xander said. “But we want to help, you know. We loved Dawnie too.”

“You’ll always be his mommy, we’re just auntie and uncle and grandpa.” Willow added.

“But that’s just the thing, I’m not his mom.” Buffy countered. “And I’m gonna have to tell him the truth eventually. Dawn wanted him to know where he came from.”

“And he will.” Willow said. “But not right now. How would you explain to a barely three-year-old that his mom and dad are dead?”

“I know, and I’m not planning on telling him any time soon.” Buffy sighed. “But he’ll start asking eventually, about his dad you know. And then what?”

“Then might be the time to tell him.” Willow softly suggested. “But this won’t happen for at least a few more years, so stop worrying about it. Just enjoy the time we all have together, why don’t you, instead of waiting for the next catastrophe?”

Willow realized she had sounded a little more harsh than she had intended to, but Buffy needed to hear it. They had been too easy on her over the past three years, she needed to get back to the living. Now all she did was take care of Andy, and she hardly ever left the garden surrounding their house.

“You know that we care about you, Buff.” Xander gave Buffy a smile in the rearview mirror. “We just want you to be happy.”

“I know.” Buffy smiled back a little. “And I am. Really. I have you guys, and that’s all I need. I’d rather stay in the world I’ve built for myself and be happy there, than go out and maybe be happy for a while, but end up losing everything. Again.”

Xander and Willow exchanged a look, both quietly wondering how she would react to the news that Spike was back. Since he was still in New York and not due to arrive in Monterey until the next day, they had decided that it’d be best that they told Buffy before he came knocking at the door, afraid that the shock of seing him might be too much for Buffy to handle.

“Did you guys have a good time in the Big Apple?” Buffy asked, wanting to change the subject. “See all the sites?”

“Oh, we went up to the top of the Empire State Building, and it was so high!” Willow started, and they spent the rest of the drive home talking about New York.

*****

“OK, I’m gonna get this guy up to bed.” Buffy announced later that night, picking up a sleeping Andy from the floor of the living room. “You guys wanna watch a movie or something before bed?”

“Sure, Buffy, you put Andy to bed and we’ll pick out a movie.” Willow replied, waiting until Buffy was safely out of the room and up the stairs to the second floor before she turned to Giles. “Giles, we need to talk about something.”

“This sounds serious.” Giles frowned at Willow’s tone of voice. “Did something happen in New York?”

“You could say that.” Willow replied. “We were at this restaurant, and all of a sudden, there he was, just standing there, in the sunlight and everything, and of course we wanted to know what was going on and he told us about Angel and LA and...”

“Willow, honey, you’re rambling.” Xander interrupted.

“Yes, I’m afraid I didn’t understand much of what you just said, Willow.” Giles admitted. “Who was in New York?”

“Spike.” Xander revealed.

“That’s ridiculous, Spike is dead, we all saw it.” Giles countered, taking his glasses off to clean them with his handkerchief.

“We’re serious, Giles.” Willow said in a low voice.

“But... how, and... well, most of all how?” Giles asked, putting his glasses back on.

“That’s pretty much what we said too.” Xander said. “And he explained some stuff, about the medallion and Wolfram and Hart...”

“We’ll tell you everything when Buffy comes back down.” Willow interrupted. “The big question is, how will she handle it?”

“Well, I suppose she’ll be happy.” Giles said. “We all know that she has missed him terribly since... that day, and that her feelings for him were deeper than we thought, maybe even deeper than she herself thought at the time.”

“You don’t think that this could... push her over the edge?” Xander asked.

“If anything, I’d think it would pull her further from it.” Giles countered. “I mean, this is one more person, well, vampire, that she can trust and rely on, it should have a positive effect on her emotional life.”

“Oh, that’s one of the things we were going to explain when Buffy got back.” Willow said. “Spike’s not a vampire anymore.”

“What? Are you saying that he’s...”

“Human.” Xander concluded, and Giles once more removed his glasses.

“Well, I’d say that this is something we’d have to look into more closely when he gets here, I don’t think it has ever happened before. Did he say exactly how it happened?”

“Did who say what?” Buffy interjected, returning to the living room.

“Hey, sweetie, you’re back.” Willow said, giving Buffy an insecure smile. “Why don’t you have a seat?”

“I think I’ll stand, thank you.” Buffy replied, crossing her arms over her chest and frowning. “What’s going on?”

“It’s not bad!” Willow hurried to continue. “It’s just... it’ll probably be a shock for you, so won’t you sit down?”

“Fine.” Buffy said, sitting down on the edge of the couch next to Giles. “Tell me what’s going on, you’re kinda freaking me out here.”

“Spike’s back.” Willow blurted out, looking for a reaction from Buffy, but finding none.

“OK. What happened?” Buffy asked, her voice calm. Too calm.

“Are you not even surprised?” Xander asked.

“Xander, we’ve lived on different Hellmouths for over a decade.” Buffy said. “There’s not a lot of things that surprise me anymore.”

“But... aren’t you happy he’s back?” Willow asked, confused by Buffy’s indifference.

“Sure I am, I mean, I’m glad he’s not dust. But it doesn’t really concern me, does it?”

“Of course it does! You’re still in love with him!” Willow burst out, and for a split second, she thought she saw a look of pain on Buffy’s face, but it was gone as fast as it had appeared.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Willow.” Buffy said quietly. “I’m not ‘still’ in love with him, because I never was, remember? It was just a... thing between us.”

“You keep telling yourself that.” Willow mumbled.

“What was that?” Buffy asked.

“Nothing.” Willow replied. “He’s still in love with you, though.”

“Well, that’s his problem.” Buffy countered. “Nothing I can do about that.”

“Will you at least talk to him?” Xander asked, surprising Buffy by taking Spike’s side.

“You want me to fly off to New York to talk to Spike?” She asked. “And when did you two start to get along, anyway?”

“He deserves that much, Buffy. The guy saved the world.” Xander said with a crooked smile. “And you don’t have to go to New York, he’s coming here.”

“He’s what?” Buffy practically yelled, forgetting that Andy was asleep upstair. “Why is he coming here?” She continued in a lower voice.

“Because he has spent the last decade fighting to get his humanity back so he can be with you!” Willow exclaimed.

“Well, he shouldn’t have.” Buffy replied, looking down. “He can’t just expect me to drop everything because he’s back, and human, all of a sudden.”

“It’s not like there’s much to drop.” Willow huffed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Buffy asked, insulted.

“It’s supposed to mean ‘what have you been doing for the past three years’?” Willow countered. “You don’t have a job, you never leave this house, all you do is take care of Andy. You used to have dreams, Buffy, what happened?”

“Andy needs me. Dawn trusted me to take care of him.” Buffy said between gritted teeth.

“She didn’t want you to stop living because of it.” Xander jumped into the conversation. “What would Dawnie say if she saw the way you’ve been ‘living’?” He airquoted at the word living.

“Are you all ganging up on me now?” Buffy asked, turning to Giles. “How about you, Giles, care to throw in an accusation?”

“I am going to stay out of this conversation for the time being.” Giles replied.

“Fine, don’t take my side.” Buffy shook her head, getting up from the couch. “I can’t talk to you guys right now. I just... can’t.” She walked out of the living room and ran up the stairs.

“Well, that went rather well, don’t you think?” Giles said sarcastically. “Honestly, did you have to attack her like that?”

“You can’t say that you don’t agree with us, Giles.” Xander said, whincing when he heard the door to Buffy’s room slam shut.

“No, I do quite agree with you. I just don’t want her to feel that we’re all against her.” Giles replied. “This is hard on her, I assure you. Spike undoubtedly brings back a lot of memories of her old life, memories she has managed to suppress. She needs us right now. All of us.”

“I’ll go talk to her.” Willow said, walking up the stairs and stopping outside Buffy’s room. She knocked on the door softly. “Buffy? Can I come in?”

After about a minute, the door opened to reveal a crying Buffy.

“Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry.” Willow whispered, enveloping Buffy in a hug.

“I’m sorry too, Wills.” Buffy replied and returned the hug. “I don’t want us to fight.”

“Neither do I.” Willow said, relieved. This was the first time Buffy had showed any real emotions since Dawn’s funeral. “We just want you to be happy.”

“I don’t know if I remember how to be happy.” Buffy said quietly, pulling away from Willow. “And I’m too scared to try.”

“You just need time.” Willow offered, and Buffy nodded. “Will you at least talk to Spike tomorrow?”

“OK, I’ll talk to him. But don’t get your hopes up!”

“I have no hopes. I just... I think he might be a little lost right now, I mean, he hasn’t been human for over a hundred years, it must be hard on him.” Willow thought out loud.

“Yeah, I guess.” Buffy agreed. “Do you think we should offer him to stay here for a while? Just until he gets back on his feet, I mean.”

“Would you be OK with that?” Willow asked, not wanting to push Buffy too much.

“Sure. This place is huge, we can squeeze one more in, right?” Buffy said. “As long as you guys don’t have a problem with him being here.”

“I don’t, and I think Xander would be fine with it too.” Willow said. “Giles I’m not completely sure about.”

“Oh, the only reason he had a problem with Spike was the vampire thing. You said he’s human now, right?”

“Yup.” Willow confirmed. “Breathing, pulse, out-in-the-sunlight and everything.”

“Spike in sunlight.” Buffy pondered. “There’s something I didn’t think I’d see again. You’re sure he doesn’t have some new Gem of Amarra thing?”

“I felt his heartbeat, Buffy. He’s very much alive.”

“OK.” Buffy pulled Willow off the bed. “How about that movie, huh?”

“Buffy, there’s something else, too.” Willow said, deciding it was best to get everything out in the open right away, and Buffy halted.

“What?” She asked, concern on her face.

“It’s about Angel.” Willow said, not sure how to continue. “He’s... gone.”

Buffy slumped down on the bed, overwhelmed by the situation. Willow sat down next to her, putting an arm around her friend’s shoulders.

“You OK?” She asked, and Buffy nodded.

“I think I knew, somewhere.” Buffy replied. “I always had this special bond with Angel, and Spike too. Like and extention of the Slayer sense or something, you know. I always knew when they were around close to me, and even after Angel left for LA, I could still feel that. Until about a year after Sunnydale. I think I’ve accepted that Angel’s gone a long time ago. It’s still hard to actually know that he’s dead, of course, but I’ll survive it. I already have.”

“I’m glad, sweetie.” Willow said.

“I think that’s why I wasn’t so surprised when Xander said that Spike was back too.” Buffy continued. “The bond I had with him, it disappeared after Sunnydale, but only for a couple of days, maybe a week or two. I thought that he might be back, but didn’t want to get my hopes up.”

“In case you were wrong?” Willow asked, and Buffy shook her head.

“In case he didn’t want to come back to me.”

*****

Spike turned in his seat as he slowly woke up. Glancing at his watch, he quickly calculated the time in California before setting the watch to 6 p.m. He pulled up the plastic window cover and looked out into the late afternoon sky. The sun would set in a few minutes, and he didn’t want to miss the spectacular show. He had watched every sunrise and sunset since the day he had become human again, and he was planning on watching them for the rest of his life, however long that might be.

He wondered how Buffy had taken the fact that he was back. Red and the Whelp had told him that they thought it was best if they prepared Buffy for his return, not wanting him to shock her. Maybe it was for the best.

He sighed. They were landing in less than half an hour, and he still didn’t know what he was going to say to her. He had gone through thousands of different scenarios in his mind, everything from her refusing to ever talk to him again to her throwing herself in his arms. Truth be told, he had no idea what to expect, but hoped it would be closer to the second scenario than the first one.

He had called Willow to let her know the plane was delayed, and she had said that Giles would come to pick him up, explaining that he wanted to ask Spike a few questions. Of course Spike had seen that one coming, the Watcher was always going to be just that, a Watcher. But he had hoped that the questions could wait until later, when he had gotten settled in more. Willow had also said that he was welcome to stay at their house for as long as he needed, she even said that it had been Buffy’s suggestion. Spike wasn’t sure how to take that piece of information.

He watched as the last rays of the sun slowly disappeared behind the horizon and inhaled deeply, leaning back in the chair. There was really no point in trying to figure out Buffy’s reaction, he never had been able to in the past. He’d see her in less than two hours, he’d just have to wait and see.

*****

Spike spotted Giles as soon as he walked through the doors leading to the area of the airport where family and loved ones of his fellow passengers were waiting. The older (well, not really) man was standing close to the exits, his eyes firmly on the doors Spike had just gone through. The Watcher walked up to the former vampire and said with a nod.

“Spike.”

“Rupes.” Spike replied. “Good to see you again.” He said, surprising Giles as well as himself. He also realized it was true. He had missed the whole lot of them.

“Yes, well, let’s get going, shall we.” Giles turned and lead the way out of the airport terminal and to the parking lot outside, where he unlocked a black station wagon. Spike put his small bag, which contained everything he owned, into the trunk before taking his place in the passengers seat beside Giles, who started the car.

“Finalle renewed that drivers licence, huh?” Spike asked, breaking the silence.

“Well, it was more comfortable, not having to depend on anyone else for transportation.” Giles replied, confused by Spike’s attempt of conversation. “And I still don’t feel completely comfortable with Buffy driving.”

“She got her drivers licence?” Spike frowned. “The roads of California will never be the same again.”

“Quite right.” Giles smiled slightly, before getting searious again. “What are your intentions with Buffy?”

“My, uh, what?” Spike asked, confused.

“Your intentions with Buffy.” Giles repeated. “I understand you still have feelings for her, I just want to know if you plan on acting on them.”

“I don’t really think that’s any of your business, Rupert.” Spike replied in an angry tone.

“I’m not trying to stick my nose in where it doesn’t belong, honestly.” Giles defended himself. “I just want to make sure that you know Buffy is not the same person that she was ten years ago. A lot has happened in her life, in all of our lives, and I just want you to be careful. Take things slow. If you two get involved again, I will not be standing in your way, and neither will Xander and Willow.”

Spike sat silent for a moment, looking out the window. He was surprised by the other man’s revelation, and also grateful for his approval. He knew Buffy thought of Giles as her father in every way but the biological, and that his oppinion meant a lot to her.

“Well, Giles, I’ll be straight with you.” Spike started as Giles pulled up into the drive way of a large house. “I am still in love with Buffy, I probably always will be. But I have no intention of forcing a relationship with her.”

“Well, that’s good to know.” Giles nodded before exiting the car. Spike followed his example and got his bag from the trunk before facing the other man.

“I know she’s moved on, that she has a life without me. And I accept that.” He said before walking up to the door, waiting for Giles on the porch.

“She hasn’t moved on.” Giles mumbled to himself. “She’s barely even survived.”

*****

“But the prince found the glass slipper that Cinderella had dropped and decided that he was not going to rest until he had found his princess...” Buffy looked up from the story book she had been reading from and found that Andy was asleep. She quietly closed the book and placed it on the night stand before sneaking out of the room and closing the door behind her.

She walked down the stairs and into the living room, where she found Willow and Xander watching TV.

“Andy asleep?” Xander asked, looking up. Buffy nodded.

“Yup. Only took three chapters of Cinderella.”

“Well, he was pretty beat after all the present opening.” Willow smiled.

“Honestly, guys, you didn’t have to get him all of that.” Buffy said, remembering all the gifts that Willow and Xander had brought for Andy from New York.

“Nonsense.” Willow waved her hand at Buffy’s words. “He’s our nephew. It’s our job to spoil him.”

“Fine.” Buffy surrendered and sat down on the couch next to Willow. “But you don’t have to get him a lot of birthday presents.”

“But... it’ll be his birthday.” Willow argued. “He should have piles of presents. Besides, you spoil him just as much as we do, and you know it.”

“Oh, fine, when you put it that way.” Buffy admitted, turning her attention to the TV. “What’re you watching?”

Before Xander could answer, however, they heard the front door open and Giles’ voice.

“We’re here!”

Chapter 3



Everyone in the living room froze at Giles’ voice.

“They’re here!” Willow said, being the first to snap out of the daze. Her words pulled Xander and Buffy with her. They all got to their feet and turned to face the door to the hallway, where footsteps were approaching.

“Hello everyone.” Giles said as he came into the living room, Spike only a few steps behind.

“Hey Giles.” Willow said. “And welcome, Spike.” She walked up and gave him a hug, which he awkwardly returned.

“Yeah, man, welcome to the Mansion.” Xander said, offering his hand.

“The Mansion?” Spike asked, shaking Xander’s hand.

“Well, we needed to call it something.” Xander explained. “And it is a mansion after all.”

“Have to agree with you there.” Spike said, turning his eyes to the last person in the room. “Hello, Buffy.”

“Hi.” She said, snapping out of the trance she had been in and giving him a hug, quickly pulling away again. The others could see a hurt look in his eyes at her action, but Buffy seemed ignorant to it.

“Did you have a good flight?” She asked, trying to start a conversation to avoid the uncomfortable silence that was threatening to envelope the room.

“Was alright. Not much for planes, though. Don’t see why they don’t just fall down.” He said.

“I know what you mean.” Buffy agreed, sitting back down on the couch, Willow and Xander sitting beside her. Spike took one of the armchairs and Giles the other.

“Did Andy go to bed already?” Giles asked.

“Yeah, a little while ago.” Buffy replied.

“Oh, I wanted to say goodnight.” Giles said, looking disappointed.

“Sorry.” Buffy said. “He was falling aslee in front of the TV, so I thought it was best to put him to bed.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, I’ll see him in the morning.” Giles re-assured her.

“So, what are you planning on doing now?” Xander asked, turning the attention back to Spike.

“Well, I was gonna try to find a job, maybe get an apartment of my own. I don’t wanna leech off of you lot too long.” Spike replied.

“It’s really not a problem.” Buffy said. “We’ve got plenty of room. Anyway, won’t it be hard getting a job? I mean, with having been officially dead for over a century?”

“That’s taken care of, saw a friend in New York, set me up with papers and stuff.” Spike explained.

“Oh. That’s great.” Buffy said.

“Yeah, I can help you with the job-hunt tomorrow, if you want?” Xander offered. “And if worst comes to worst, you can always work at the site with me, we always need people.”

“Thanks, I might just take you up on that.” Spike replied, surprised and grateful for Xander’s offer.

“Mommy?” They all turned at the sound, and spotted Andy in the doorway.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Buffy asked, holding out her arms. Andy crawled into her lap. “Can’t sleep?” He shook his head.

“Mommy? But I thought...” Spike stopped mid sentence as Willow shot him a look.

“You want Grandpa to read you a story?” Buffy asked, and the little boy nodded.

Giles stood up and took him from Buffy’s arms. When the two were out of the room and up the stairs, Buffy turned to Spike.

“He doesn’t know about Dawn and Andrew. Not yet. He thinks I’m his mom, so don’t say something in front of him about it, OK?” She said.

“Sorry, didn’t know.” Spike apologized.

“Yeah, it’s our fault really, we should have told him.” Xander defended Spike.

“It’s OK guys, it’s nobody’s fault.” Buffy sighed, stretching her arms. “I think I’m gonna head to bed, actually. Kinda beat.” She stood up. “Night guys. It was nice to see you again, Spike.” She left the room.

“See?” Willow whispered. “She wasn’t even happy to see Spike.”

“I know.” Xander agreed, a little louder since the door to Buffy’s room had closed behind her. “We need to do something.”

“What are you talking about?” Spike asked confused.

“Buffy.” Willow replied.”Ever since Dawnie died, she’s been shut down. I haven’t seen her cry since the funeral. She never gets angry, or happy, or... anything.”

“Well, that she wasn’t thrilled to see me doesn’t have to mean anything.” Spike said. “I wasn’t exactly expecting her to welcome me back with open arms, seeing as I didn’t come see her when I first came back.”

“But she wasn’t even mad at you, which, let’s face it, she should be.” Willow argued. “Would the Buffy you knew back in Sunnydale behave like she just did?”

Spike thought about Willow’s words for a moment. She was right. The Buffy he knew would have kicked his ass for not telling her he was alive.

“Something needs to be done.” He said, getting nods from both Xander and Willow.

“And I think you’re the only one who can do it.” Willow said. “We’ve tried everything in the past three years, and nothing.”

“The only time she’s shown any kind of emotion was when we told her you were back.” Xander revealed. “I know that’s why she got upset, even if she tried to pass it off as being mad at us.”

“What do you want me to do?” Spike said.

“Talk to her. Try to get her to realized that keeping everything to herself isn’t helping anyone.” Willow said. “Other than that... I don’t know. I think she just lost hope after Dawn died.”

“OK, I’ll try.” Spike agreed. “But don’t expect to much. She might not want to reveal herself to me.”

“If you can’t get her to open up, you should at least be able to piss her off.” Xander said cheerfully. “You were always great at that.”

*****

“Morning, Buffy.” Spike said, walking into the kitchen the following morning.

“Morning.” She said, looking up from her breakfast. “Sleep well?”

“Like a rock.” Spike replied, pouring himself some coffee. Buffy laughed a little. “What?”

“It’s just I’ve never seen you drink coffee before.” She said. “I guess it’ll take some getting used to, the you being alive thing.”

“Tell me about it.” Spike said, sitting down next to Buffy at the table. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to having to breath or... other things.”

“But you breathed before.” Buffy remembered.

“Well, yeah, but that was mostly to fit in when I was around humans. I didn’t need it.” Spike explained. “I think I forgot to breath a couple of times right after I was turned back. I woke up out of breath.”

“I’ll try to remind you to breath from time to time, then.” Buffy said.

“Thanks, love, appreciate it.” Spike said, and noticed that Buffy froze up for a second at the sound of her old nick name.

“No problem.” She replied.

“Where’re the rest of the household?” Spike asked.

“Xander and Willow are at work, and Giles took Andy to the park.” Buffy said.

“Oh.” Spike nodded. “You don’t work?”

“No, I stay at home with Andy. Giles runs the new Council from the house, so he’s around a lot too.”

“How is that going?” Spike asked.

“Pretty good.” Buffy said. “We have about two thousand active Slayers around the world, and a couple of hundred Watchers. The head quarters of the Council is in London, and we have a training facility for the younger Slayers there too.”

“Seems like you have a good thing going, then.” Spike said.

“I guess we do.” Buffy agreed. “I’m not part of it anymore, though. After...”

“I know. Willow told me.” Spike intervened. “You don’t have to talk about it.”

“Thanks.” Buffy smiled. “It still hurts too much.”

“I know.” They sat in silence for a while before Buffy spoke.

“What happened in LA?”

“You mean with Angel?” Spike asked and Buffy nodded. “He was in charge of Wolfram and Hart in LA, and got the idea into his head to bring them down. We got into a big battle with their minions, or whatever, and I was the only one who made it through. Don’t ask me why.”

“So he died fighting?”

“Yeah, he died fighting.” Spike confirmed. “Like he wanted to.”

*****

“Happy Birthday to you, happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Andy, Happy Birthday to you!” Buffy, Willow, Xander, Spike and Giles sang.

Spike had been in Moterey for three weeks, and it was now Andrew’s birthday. Spike had gotten a job as a bartended at a club downtown, and had found an apartment a few blocks from his job. He was moving out of the mansion the next day.

“Come on, baby, blow out the candles!” Buffy said, and Andy blew for all he was worth, managing to put out the three candles on the cake.

“Yay!” Willow clapped her hands and Andy smiled happily.

Xander started cutting the cake, giving everyone a piece. Andy was playing with his new favorite toy, an action figure that Spike had given him, while Willow tried to feed him cake.

A little later, Buffy and Willow were cleaning up in the living room, throwing away wrapping paper and strings from the gifts. Giles and Spike were in the garden with Andy and Xander was in the kitchen doing the dishes. Willow watched Buffy for a moment, she was gathering the toys and other things that Andy had gotten.

“So, are you going to do something?” She asked.

“About...?” Buffy looked up from what she was doing.

“Spike.” Willow replied.

“What about Spike?” Buffy asked.

“He’s moving out tomorrow, if you haven’t noticed.” Willow said.

“So? He’ll still be around, it’s not like he’s leaving the country or anything.” Buffy shrugged.

“But you don’t want him to move out.” Willow insisted.

“Why wouldn’t I want him to move out?” Buffy asked.

“Because you’re still in love with him.” Willow replied. Buffy stared at her friend in silence for a moment.

“We’ve already been over this.” She said. “I am not in love with Spike.”

“Yes you are, even I can see it.” Willow argued. “You’re just too scared to get hurt again that you won’t even give him a chance.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Buffy said, returning to cleaning the room.

“But why? I don’t get it Buffy, he’s back now and...”

“Will you just... don’t.” Buffy interrupted her. “Please just leave it.”

Willow watched as Buffy walked out of the room, slamming the door to the garden behind her.

“What was that all about?” Xander asked, coming into the living room.

“I was just trying to get her to realize her own feelings.” Willow said, sighing and sitting down on the couch.

“The Spike thing?” Xander stated, sitting down next to his wife.

“Yeah.” Willow nodded. “She’s in denial land, big time.”

“Maybe not.” Xander suggested, and Willow frowned. “I mean, maybe she’s just scared to tell us how she feels cause she thinks we’ll react... well, like we did last time.”

“But why would she think that?” Willow wondered.

“There’s not always rational thinking going on in Buffyville.” Xander said. “I bet she’s just afraid we won’t support her if she starts something with him again.”

“Then we’ll have to show her we’re OK with it.” Willow decided.

*****

“Hey Spike!” Willow greeted, sitting down on a barstool.

“Hey Red, what you doing here?” Spike asked. He had beed working at the club for almost three months now, and it had been almost two since he moved into his apartment. He had only seen Buffy a few times since then, and only when he went over to the house. Willow had explained to him that Buffy rarely, if ever, left the house and to not expect her to come and see him.

“We’re having a night out.” Willow explained.

“We?” Spike asked, looking around the club for Xander.

“Yup, we.” He heard behind him and turned to find Buffy standing there.

“Hey, haven’t seen you in a while.” He said.

“Well, you haven’t been by the house in over a week.” Buffy replied. It was true. Spike was getting tired of Buffy’s indifferency towards him. She wouldn’t look at him when she talked to him, and if he touched her she would flinch and pull away.

“You know where I live, love.” He said, managing to keep her eyes for a second before she looked away.

“Xander will be here any minute, he’s parking the car.” She said, looking out over the dance floor.

“Yeah, he’s our designated driver of the night.” Willow announced. “It’s Buffy and Willow’s fun night out tonight.”

“Well then, let the fun begin.” Spike said, putting down two drinks in front of the girls. “On the house.”

“Hey man.” Xander said a few moments later, joining Buffy and Willow by the bar. “Got something non-alcoholic for the man with the car keys?”

“Coming straight up.” Spike said, getting Xander a coke. “Sorry, gotta get some work done.” He continued when a man waved to get his attention on the other end of the bar.

“No problem. We’ll be right here.” Xander said, taking his coke.

“Come on, let’s go dance!” Willow said, finishing her drink off and pulling Buffy onto the dance floor.

Buffy felt a little awkward at first. She hadn’t been at a club since... she hardly remembered. But then the music started pulsating through her body and she let it take holsd of her.

Spike watched from the bar as Buffy and Willow danced. The scene reminded him of the first time he had come to Sunnydale, looking for his third Slayer. She had been dancing then too, at the Bronze. He knew now that he had fallen for her at that moment. He probably knew it back then too, but had just ignored it.

Buffy and Willow danced through a few songs, and then the music stopped and the DJ got onto the stage.

“Hey guys, you having fun?” He asked and the crowd cheered. “I said are you having fun?” The crowd cheered louder, and the DJ seemed pleased. “That’s more like it. Now, I know what you’ve all been waiting for, and you don’t have to wait much longer. I don’t really think he needs much of an introduction, do you?” The crowd cheered again, and the DJ jumped off the stage.

Buffy and Willow went back to the bar where Xander was still sitting.

“Do you know what’s going on?” Willow asked, and Xander shook his head.

They all stared in surprise and amazement as Spike entered the stage, a guitar in his hand.

“Hey everyone.” He said, sitting down on a stool and adjusting the mike. “I’ve got some people in the audience today, so go easy on me, please. Don’t want them to think I’m a complete loser, now do we?” The crowd laughed and Spike struck a few chords on the guitar before he started to sing.


I'm awake in the afternoon
I fell asleep in the living room
It's one of those moments
When everything is so clear

Before the truth goes back into hiding
I wanna decide 'cause it's worth deciding
To work on finding something more than this fear

It takes so much out of me to pretend
Tell me now, tell me how to make amends

Maybe, I need to see the daylight
Leave behind the half-life
Don't you see I'm breaking down


Buffy shot Willow and Xander looks that said ‘What are you up to now?’ but they both just shrugged. They didn’t know any more than Buffy about Spike’s unexpected performance.


Oh, lately, some here don't feel right
This is just a half-life
Is there really no escape
No escape from time
Of any kind


Buffy shot Willow and Xander looks that said ‘What are you up to now?’ but they both just shrugged. They didn’t know any more than Buffy about Spike’s unexpected performance.


I keep trying to understand
This thing and that thing, my fellow man
I guess I'll let you know
When I figure it out

And I don't mind a few mysteries
They can stay that way it's fine by me
But you are another mystery I am missing

It takes so much out of me to pretend

Maybe, I need to see the daylight
Leave behind the half-life
Don't you see I'm breaking down


Spike sought out Buffy’s eyes as he sang the words he had written to her, for her and about her. He hadn’t planned on doing this now, but since they were there he thought that he might as well do it. She needed to hear it, even if she didn’t want to.


Oh, lately, some here don't feel right
This is just a half-life
Is there really no escape
No escape from time
Of any kind

Come on lets fall in love
Come on lets fall in love
Come on lets fall in love
Again

'Cause lately some here don't feel right
This is just a half-life,
Without you I am breaking down


Buffy tore her eyes away from Spike’s. His words affected her, more than she liked to admit. She forced herself to look at the floor, because if she looked at him, he would know.


Wake me, I wanna see the daylight
Save me from this half-life
Let's you and I escape
Escape from time

Come on lets fall in love
Come on lets fall in love
Come on lets fall in love
Again


Buffy rushed out of the club before the last chord died out. Willow and Xander looked after her for a moment before Willow hopped off her stool and followed. Xander stayed at the bar, waiting for Spike who had just put the guitar down and was heading in Xander’s direction.

“Where is she?” He asked.

“I don’t know.” Xander replied. “She took off, Willow went after her. They’ll be OK.”

“I shouldn’t have done that.” Spike said, but Xander shook his head.

“She needs to hear it.” He said, and Spike knew he was right.

“Yeah, but what if it just makes things worse?”

*****

“Buffy, wait up!” Willow called after the disappearing form of her friend. Buffy stopped and looked back. Willow hurried to catch up with her. “You OK?”

“No, I’m not OK. Did you plan this? Was it get Buffy night?” Buffy asked angrily.

“No, honestly. I didn’t know he was gonna do that.” Willow tried to convince Buffy. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not your fault.” Buffy said, calming down. “I just... I don’t know.”

“Why did his song upset you so much?” Willow asked, trying to get Buffy to admit what she was feeling, at least to herself.

“Because he was right.” Buffy whispered. “I haven’t been living since Dawnie died, and it’s killing me.”

“Then do something about it!” Willow exclaimed.

“You really think so?” Buffy said, insecurely.

“Sure. Why don’t you get in touch with some schools, see if they need a counselor. You have the experience.” Willow suggested.

“But what about Andy?” Buffy asked.

“Giles is home every day anyway, he can look after Andy.” Willow reasoned. “Plus, he’ll be going to school in a few years anyway, what’ll you do then?”

“OK.” Buffy nodded. “I’ll do it.”




AN: The song is ‘Half-life’ by Duncan Sheik from the movie ‘What a girl wants’ with Amanda Bynes, Colin Firth and Oliver James.

Chapter four


Spike got up from the couch where he had been watching TV when there was a knock on the door. He opened the door to reveal Willow on the other side.

“Hey Red, what brings you to this side of town?” He asked, stepping aside to let her in.

It had been almost a month since Willow and Xander had brought Buffy to Spike’s club. Since then, Buffy had gotten a job at one of the local high schools. She was working as a counselor and at the same time taking psych classes at the community college so she would be qualified.

Willow was happy that Buffy had started to go out more, they had even started Girl’s Night Out every other Saturday. But she still hadn’t done anything about the situation with Spike. And Willow knew that she still loved him, even if she kept denying it. She didn’t know why Buffy still refused to admit her feelings, since Spike had become as much a part of the family as her, Xander and Giles. That was the reason she was at Spike’s apartment now.

“I just wanted to see what you were doing tomorrow.” Willow said, sitting down on Spike’s couch. He turned the TV off before joining her.

“Got work, but I don’t start till ten, why?” He asked.

“I don’t know if you remember, but tomorrow is the anniversary of the Sunnydale battle.” Willow said.

“I remember.” Spike replied. “I didn’t know if I should bring it up or not, it still feels too fresh in mind.”

“I know.” Willow nodded. “I think it always will.”

They were both silent for a while before Willow spoke again.

“Anyway, every year we drive down to what used to be Sunnydale on the day of the battle.” She explained. “Through the years, there’s been so much loss, and we’ve sort of gathered it all up in one day, kinda like President’s Day, I guess.”

“OK.” Spike said, running a hand through his hair. “Do you want me to stay with Andy, or something?”

“No, he’s going with us.” Willow said. “I just wanted to ask you to come with us too. I think you might need it as much as we do.”

“You’re probably right about that.” Spike said. He could still remember everything that had happened that day as if it had been yesterday. Sometimes he was still haunted by the nightmares he’d had when he first arrived in Los Angeles ten years earlier.

“And I thought we might try a intervention with Buffy.” Willow continued.

“Why? She’s OK now, right? Got a job and everything.” Spike said, not sharing the fact that despite Buffy’s return to the living world, she still hadn’t let him any closer.

“You know why!” Willow replied. “There’s still something, and I don’t know what it is. She’s fine around us, me, Xander, Giles and Andy, but when it comes to you... haven’t you noticed it?”

“Of course I’ve noticed it, Red, I’m not blind.” Spike said. “But have you stopped to think that it might be becaus she doesn’t want me around anymore?”

“I know that’s not true.” Willow argued. “She still loves you.”

“She never loved me.” Spike said quietly, avoiding Willow’s eyes.

“Yes she did. I know she told you that, and also that you didn’t believe her. Do you know how much that hurt her?”

“I knew she didn’t mean it.” Spike said. “She was just being nice to a dying man.”

“Do I have to knock it into you?” Willow asked annoyed. “She loved you then, and she still does. And you love her too, don’t you?”

“Always have, always will. Don’t have a say in that.”

“Then do something about it!” Willow exclaimed. “Or are you just gonna give up without a fight? Is that the kind of person you are these days, cause if it is, I’ll have to say I prefer you as a vampire. At least then you went after what you wanted.”

Spike contemplated Willow’s words for a moment, before coming to a decision.

“What do you want me to do?”

*****

Buffy reluctantly opened her eyes to locate the source of the annoying sound. She checked her alarm clock, but it wasn’t it. Sitting up in the bed she realized that it was coming from downstairs. The door bell.

“Willow? Giles? Is anyone gonna get that?” She yelled, figuring someone would be up. It was almost ten, after all.

Getting no response, she pulled herself out of the bed, wrapping a robe around her as she walked down the stairs.

“What are you doing here at this time?” She asked when she spotted Spike on the other side of the door.

“Well, good morning to you too!” He replied cheerfully, walking past her into the house.

“It would have been a better morning if I hadn’t been woken up by the doorbell.” Buffy said sarcastically, walking past Spike to get to the kitchen. She needed coffee.

“I just wanted to report for driver duty.” Spike said, following Buffy into the kitchen.

“What?” Buffy asked confused, pouring coffee into her favorite cup.

“Well, Rupes called earlier and said that they wanted to get an early start, but didn’t want to wake you. Since we wouldn’t all fit in the same car anyway, he asked if I could drive you down later.” Spike said, remembering Willow’s excuse.

“You’re going with us?” Buffy asked.

“Yeah, didn’t Red tell you?” Spike acted surprised. He knew Willow hadn’t told Buffy.

“Not so much, no.” Buffy replied, swallowing half the coffee in a few long gulpes.

“Well, she figured since I hadn’t been back since the battle, I might want to go to... say goodbye.” Spike said.

“To what?” Buffy snapped.

“Hey, Sunnydale was my home for a while, you know.” Spike replied, half expecting her reaction. “And I cared about them too, your mum, Glinda, demon girl. Even the little slayerettes, though they drove me insane during that last time. And Willow said it was kind of in memory of everyone who... and I never got to say goodbye to any of them.”

Buffy could feel tears well up in her eyes as Spike talked. He didn’t have to say her name, but Buffy knew he meant Dawn.

“I’m sorry.” She said quietly. “I didn’t mean to snap at you, it’s just... hard, you know.”

“I know.” Spike replied. “So, are we going or what?”

*****

They had drivven for about three hours when Spike pulled into the parking lot of a restaurant. The drive had so far been made most in silence, with Buffy staring out through the window and only speaking when asked a direct question. Spike could tell she was in her own world.

“Are we there?” She asked when he turned the ignition off.

“No, still about three or four more hours to go, depending on traffic.” Spike replied, opening the car door. “Thought me could get some lunch, I know I’m hungry at least.”

“OK.” Buffy said, opening the door on her side and getting out. Spike walked around the car and they headed into the restaurant.

They sat down at a table and a waiter came up, taking their orders. When he left, Buffy pulled her cell phone out of her purse.

“I think I’ll go call Willow.” She said, leaving Spike alone at the table. When she got outside, she pressed the speed dial for Willow’s number.

“Hello?”

“Hey Wils.” Buffy said.

“Oh, hi Buffy. Are you guys on your way?” Willow asked.

“Yeah, we just stopped for lunch at some diner. What about you guys?” Buffy replied.

“We left a little before eight, and had breakfast on the way. Sorry we didn’t wake you.” Willow apologized.

“No big.” Buffy said.

“Well, we should be there in less than an hour.” Willow said. “We thought we’d stop for lunch in a little while.”

“OK. So you’ll be wait for us at the spot, right?” Buffy asked. They always went to the same place, where they had stopped the bus that day.

“Yeah, we’ll be there.” Willow said. “So I guess I’ll see you in a couple of hours then?”

“Sure, see you then.” Buffy replied, hanging up.

She walked back into the diner and saw that they had gotten their food.

“Everything OK?” Spike asked as Buffy sat down at the table again.

“Yeah, they were almost there.” Buffy nodded. “They were gonna have lunch in a little while too.”

“OK. We should probably eat up and get going. We wanna get there before it gets dark.” Spike said, digging into his food. Buffy followed his example and thirty minutes later they were back in the car. After a little while, Spike popped a CD in the car stereo and turned the volume up.

“Oh, please, not the Sex Pistols.” Buffy complained.

“You like them, I know you do.” Spike argued.

“No, I never liked them, I just ignored the music because you insisted on listening to it.” Buffy replied. She looked over at him, and they both fell silent as they remembered the few times they had been alone in Buffy’s house.

Since Spike didn’t have a CD player in his crypt, he had always insisted on bringing his Sex Pistols CD to Buffy’s when she would let him in. Then he put the CD on repeat until he left, refusing to turn it off.

The first time that they had made love in her bed had been to that music. It had been on when he had cooked for her, and they had danced to it. Or, rather, despite of it. Spike had pulled Buffy into his arms and slow danced with her in the living room one day, the Sex Pistols in the background as always.

Spike stole a peek at Buffy. She had returned to staring out the window, but he was sure he’d seen some sign of emotion in her eyes. Part one of his mission accomplished.

*****

“Why are we stopping? We’re almost there.” Buffy asked as Spike pulled into a gas station.

“Well, maybe you can go a six hour drive without going to the bathroom, but I haven’t mastered that skill yet.” Spike replied, getting out of the car. Reluctantly, Buffy followed.

“I’m gonna get something to drink.” She announced, following him into the small store. “Want something?”

“Just a soda.” He replied, heading in the direction of the restrooms. Before he entered, he checked that Buffy was across the store, picking out beverages. He pulled ut his cell phone and dialed Willow’s number.

“Red? Hey, we’re almost there.” He saud when Willow picked up.

“OK, we’ll head out then. See you in a bit.” She replied before hanging up. Spike put the phone away and left the bathroom.

“Ready?” He asked, and Buffy nodded.

They got back in the car and Spike pulled out of the parking lot, heading towards what had once been Sunnydale. The sun was setting behind them, and twilight surrounded the car.

*****

Fifteen minutes later Spike pulled the car over ten feet from the crater that Sunnydale had left, stopping behind a group of trees. On one of the other roads that had once led to Sunnydale there was now a restaurant that attracted tourists from the whole country who wanted to take a look at the ‘eartquake crater’, as they called it. But here they could be alone.

Spike turned the ignition off and they both got out of the car. Buffy looked around for a moment.

“Where are the guys? I thought they would be here.” She said, giving Spike an accusing look. “What did you guys do now?” She asked suspiciously.

“Nothing. They’ll be here.” Spike replied, walking closer to the edge. “Never realized the town was so big.” He observed.

“I know. It always seemed so small.” Buffy replied, following him a little bit but stopping before she came up to the edge.

“What’s the matter?” Spike asked. “Scared of heights?”

“No, I just don’t... like getting too close.” She defended herself.

“Like this?” He asked, putting his foot down half on the ground and half in the air. “I bet it would hurt pretty much to fall down there.” He said, looking over the edge.

“Please don’t stand so close.” Buffy pleaded behind him. Spike turned to look at her and saw that there was fear in her eyes. When she saw him looking at her, she diverted her eyes. Spike walked over and put a finger under her chin, forcing her to look at him.

“What is it about this place that scares you so much?” He asked. “What is it about ME that scares you?” She pulled away from him, crossing her arms in front of her chest as if to protect herself. She stared out over the crater, not really seeing it.

“People died here.” She said quietly. “You died here.”

“But I came back.” He said, moving so he was in her line of view. He could see she had tears in her eyes.

“No you didn’t.” She whispered, taking him completely by surprise. “This isn’t real, I know that. It’s just a dream, just like all the other times.”

“Is that what you think?” He asked, grabbing her by the arms. “Is that why you won’t look at me, won’t touch me?”

“If I do, you’ll leave, and I’ll be alone again.” She replied in a tearful voice. “And I can’t take it one more time.” She buried her face against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as she cried. She the tears started to subside, he pulled back to look at her. She once again looked away.

“Look at me.” He demanded, and she obeyed. “I’m real. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere unless you want me to.”

“Why would this be any different than the other dreams?” Buffy asked.

“Does this feel like a dream?” He asked, pulling her hard against him and crushing his lips to hers.

At first she didn’t respond, but when he slipped his tongue into her mouth to caress hers, she moaned and wrapped her arms around his neck. He ran his hands down her back and pulled her top from her pants, gently touching the warm skin on her lower back. She responded by using one hand to unbutton his shirt while the other was tangled in his hair, holding him close to her.

At the feel of her hands on his chest, Spike almost lost control. It had been too long since he had touched her, felt her around him. He pulled her top the rest of the way over her head and threw it in the general direction of the car.

When Buffy felt the somewhat cool air against her skin, she realized where she was. Pulling away from Spike, she tried to cover herself with her hands.

“Someone could come by.” She said, looking around.

“No one ever comes here.” Spike replied. “And it’s dark, they won’t see anything.”

She seemed to settle for that, because she let him pull her back into his embrace. As their lips met again, she pulled his shirt off, running her hands over the bare skin of his chest and back.

“So warm.” She mumbled, amazed.

“Comes with the whole human thing.” Spike replied, reclaiming her lips as he lifted her up. Shr wrapped her legs around his waist and he carried her over to the car where they had at least a little protection from the road.

He put her down on the hood of the car, and she leaned back on it, pulling him down with her. Sbandoning her lips, Spike’s mouth traveled down her throat to her collar bone while he worked on unhooking her bra. Finally freeing her of the offending garment, he covered one of her breasts with his mouth.

Buffy gasped at the sensation, wrapping her legs tighter around Spike’s waist. She could feel him against her, and knew he wanted her as much as she wanted him. When he once again covered her mouth with his, she sat up and reached for his belt, quickly undoing it.

Spike stepped back a little, unzipping his jeans and pulling them down. He stepped out of them as well as his underwear while he unbuttoned her pants. He pulled them off along with her panties before he embraced her again.

Their tongues met at the same time as he slowly pushed inside her, and they both moaned in pleasure. Spike froze for a moment to regain control before he started thrusting in and out. He leaned Buffy back against the hood of the car, covering her body with his against the chilly air.

She wrapped her legs tighter around him, pulling him deeper inside her. Knowing he wouldn’t last very long, Spike slipped a hand between them to caress her clit. Minutes later, Buffy shuddered around him, triggering his orgasm with her own.

Completely spent, Spike collapsed on top of Buffy. She wrapped her arms firmly around him, and he could feel her heart beating against his. Turning his face to nuzzle her neck, Spike felt something wet against his lips. He pulled back to look at her, realizing it was tears.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, wiping away the tears with his hand.

“It’s you, you’re really here.” She cried, and Spike pulled her close again, letting her cry.

“Come on.” He said when she pulled back to wipe her eyes. He helped her to the passenger seat and closed the door behind her before gathering their clothes and getting into the drivers seat. He handed her her clothes, she put them on and he did the same. When Buffy was done, she pulled her legs up under her and turned in the seat so she could look at him. He reached out a hand and caressed hte side of her face, and she leaned into the touch, closing her eyes.

“I didn’t believe it was real.” She whispered.

“Why not?” He asked,

“Because I was afraid that if I did, it’d just be another dream and you’d still be gone.” She replied, opening her eyes and meeting his.

“It’s not a dream.” He assured her.

“I know that now.” She nodded. “I’m still scared though.”

“Of what?” He asked.

“Of loosing you again. Or someone else.” She sighed. “There’s just been so much loss over the past... decade, really. I don’t know if I can take anymore.”

“You’re strong, you can do anything.” He told her.

“I used to think that I was.” She replied. “And then you were gone, and I wasn’t so strong anymore. You didn’t just give me strength that night in the abandonded house when you convinced me to keep trying, you did all along. I just didn’t realize it until it was too late.”

“It’s not too late.” He said and she nodded. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good. Cause I’m not planning on letting you go anytime soon.” She crawled over the mid panel of the car and curled up in his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and placed a kiss on her temple.

“That works out nicely then.”

They were quiet for a while, until she broke the silence.

“Why didn’t you try to find me after you came back?” She asked, taking one of his hands in hers and interlacing their fingers.

“I wanted to.” He replied. “I was a ghost for a while there, couldn’t touch anything or leave LA for that matter. Was tied to the amulet somehow. And then, when I got my body back, I had ties to that place, not friends, but... people I cared about. And then we went to Rome and saw you with that Immortal dude.”

“You were in Rome?” Buffy cut him off.

“Yeah, me and Angel were there, I guess almost a year after the battle in Sunnydale.” Spike explained. “We were getting something for Wolfram and Hart, and went to see you. Andrew told us you were out, and then we saw you at some club with that guy.” The disdain was obvious in his voice.

“It was never serious.” Buffy said. “He was just... there, and I needed something... someone.”

“Like I was?” Spike asked in a hurt voice.

“No, it was never like that.” Buffy hurried to say. “I never cared about him. Not like I cared about you... still do.” She was quiet for a moment before continuing. “I meant it, you know. What I said in the Hellmouth.”

“I know.” Spike said. “I think I knew then too, but I couldn’t let myself believe it.”

“Why not?” Buffy asked.

“Because if I did, I wouldn’t have been able to let you go. And I had to.” Spike said.

“I guess I get that.” Buffy admitted. “I’m still mad that you didn’t contact me, though.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.” Spike said. “I think that I would have, regardless of the Immortal. I was on my way back to your apartment several times while we were in Rome. But then when we got back to LA, there was this apocalypse there, and I got caught up in it. And after... there was just me.”

“You could have gone back to Rome then.” Buffy suggested.

“I had promised Angel that I would let you have a normal life.” Spike said. “I wasn’t going to break a promise.”

“So you were just gonna stay away?” Buffy asked, hurt.


“No, I wasn’t. That’s when I went in search of the demon that allegedly could restore humanity.” He said. “And now here I am.”

“Thank you.” Buffy said, and Spike looked at her in surprise.

“For what?”

“For everything you’ve done for me.” She explained. “Back in Sunnydale, and after that, and now.”

“Wasn’t just for you.” He said. “I had some interest in it too.” Buffy smiled at that.

“Maybe we should call the others before they get worried.” She suggested. “Cause I’m guessing they had something to do with this whole intervention thing?”

“Yeah, it was Willow ‘s idea really.” Spike admitted.

“I am so gonna slap her when they get here.” Buffy said. “After I thank her, of course.” She slipped back into her seat, and Spike reached for his cell phone.

“I still mean it, you know.” Buffy said, and Spike looked up at her.

“Mean what?” He asked.

“I still love you. Always will.”

Epilogue


”Morning, baby.” Spike gave Buffy a kiss before sitting down next to her at the kitchen table. “What’re you doing up so early?”

“I needed to pee, and then I had to get something to eat.” Buffy explained. Spike looked at her plate where her peanut butter and whipped cream sandwich shared the space with gummy bears.

“As long as I don’t have to eat it.” He said and Buffy playfully slapped him on the arm.

“You shouldn’t tease me, you know. This is all your fault.” She complained.

“You had a thing or two to do with it, if I remember correctly.” Spike observed.

“Yeah, well maybe I did, but if you hadn’t forgotten...”

“We wouldn’t have this.” Spike cut her off, running his hand over her large stomach. Even now, after four pregnancies and four kids, he was still amazed with the way her body changed.

“Sorry.” Buffy said. “You know I want this, it’s just... I want it over with already.” She forced herself off the chair to place the now empty plate in the sink. “I’m sick of looking like a stranded whale.”

“You don’t look like a whale, you look absolutely beautiful.” Spike corrected.

“You’re only saying that cause you wanna make me feel better.” Buffy complained.

“Is it working?”

“A little. Thank you.” Buffy smiled at her husband.

“It’s what I’m here for.” He said.

“Did the kids get off OK?” Buffy asked and Spike nodded.

“Yeah, Andy was gonna drop everyone off. You know how he jumps at every chance to drive.” Spike said.

Andy had turned sixteen earlier that year and gotten his drivers license. Buffy was grateful to have another driver beside herself and Spike in the house, especially now.

“You remembered to make them lunch?” She asked and Spike gave her a look.

“I do know how to take care of our kids, you know.” He said sarcastically.

“I know, I know. I just worry.” Buffy replied.

“I know you do, but you don’t have to.” Spike assured her. “You just focus on yourself and these little ones, and I’ll focus on the rest.” Buffy smiled at him. She was so lucky.

After the events at the Sunnydale crater, more than thirteen years earlier, Spike had mover back into the mansion. A couple of months later, Willow and Xander had moved out to get an apartment of their own. Mostly because they wanted some more privacy, but also to give the new little family more space, since Buffy had discovered she was pregnant.

They had married in August, and Dawn had been born in February the following year. Andy had been excited to have a little sister, and had without hesitation accepted Spike as his new dad. In short, everything was going great.

When Dawn was two, William had arrived and during the next four years two more additions were made, Liam and Faith.

Buffy was now a fully qualified counselor at the school Andy went to. He hadn’t liked the fact that his mom was going to work at his school at first, but had gotten used to it.

When Andy was eight, they had told him about his biological parents. He had accepted everything they said, and Dawn and Andrew had special places in his heart, but Buffy and Spike were his parents.

After Faith was born, Buffy and Spike had decided that it was enough. Five kids kept them busy at most hours of the day and night, and Buffy was almost forty. She had started taking birthcontrol pills, and they worked fine. But a few months earlier, her doctor had adviced her to stop taking the pills, since the risk of having blod clots increased the older you got. She had done as she was told, and two months later they had realized that the one time they had forgotten to use a condom had payed off.

Now they were expecting not only their sixth, but their seventh child as well. Twin pregnancies weren’t very usual, and neither Buffy nor Spike had twins in the family.

“Baby, you OK?” Spike asked, pulling Buffy from her walk down memory lane.

“Yeah, just thinking.” She replied.

“I should really get to work.” Spike said, finishing off his coffee. “Your doctors appointment is at four, right?” Buffy nodded. “OK. I’ll pick you up a quarter to, then. Rupes’ll be here to watch the kids?”

“Yeah, he’ll be here.” Buffy said.

Giles was still living with them, he wanted to be close to his ‘grandchildren’. Willow and Xander were living a few blocks away from the mansion with their three kids, Anya, 8, Tara, 5 and Noah, 2.

“The doctor said that they might start the labor if nothing had changed today, right?” Spike asked.

“Yeah, they did. I don’t know if I want to do that, I kinda want it all natural you know?” Buffy said. Her due date had been the previous Thursday, and her doctor had said that going past the due dat with twins was very unusual.

“You think about it, OK?” Spike said, giving Buffy a kiss and heading for the door.

“I don’t think I have to.” Buffy said, and Spike turned halfway to the door.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“I mean that I think it just started.” She replied.

“You mean the contractions have started?” Spike asked, not fully grasping the situation.

“Yeah, and they’re close.” Buffy gasped, grabbing the counter top as another contraction hit.

“Let’s go then.” Spike said, putting his arm around Buffy’s waist to help her.

“We have to call Giles first, and Willow and Xander, and someone has to pick up the kids.” Buffy ramlbed.

“We’ll call Giles from the hospital, he’ll take care of everything.” Spike assured her, leading her to the garage.

*****

“How are you doing, baby?” Spike asked, entering Buffy’s hospital room after talking to Giles. He had promised to let Willow and Xander know and to bring the kids to the hospital with him.

“Oh, just great.” Buffy replied sarcastically. “You try doing this.”

“That’s just the pain talking.” The nurse that were monitoring the contractions said.

“How’re we doing on the painkillers?” Spike asked jokingly.

“They haven’t kicked in yet.” The nurse replied at the same time as the Buffy’s doctor came into the room.

“Hello all.” He greeted. “How’s everything going?”

“Everything’s fine, doctor Adams.” The nurse said. “The babies are both head down, so there shouldn’t be any problem. The spinal anaesthesia was admitted ten minutes ago.”

“Then let’s get this party started.” The doctor said, sitting down at the foot of the bed. “I want you to push at the next contraction, OK?” Buffy nodded and Spike took her hand in his, giving her all the support he could.

*****

“Giles, would you please stop pacing?” Willow complained. They had been in the waiting room for almost two hours, and Giles had been waling around the entire time. “It’s not gonna go any faster.”

“I know that.” Giles replied annoyed. “I’m just nervous.”

“Everything will be fine, Giles.” Xander assured him. “Now, would you please sit down, you’re making the kids nervous too.”

Giles reluctantly sat down, only to jump up again seconds later when Spike came into the waiting room, two babies in his arms.

“Hey guys. I want you to meet Allissa Joyce and Brianna Anne.” He said, and everyone got up to look at the twins.

“They’re so little.” Faith observed.

“All babies are little when they’re born, you were too.” Willow said.

“Nu-uh, I was never that little.” Faith objected and all the adults laughed.

“Sure you were, kiddo.” Xander said. “And they will get bigger soon, and you can play with them.”

“I can?” Faith asked, looking up at her dad.

“Course you can.” Spike replied. “But right now, I think these little ones need some rest, and so does Buffy.”

“I’ll take the kids home, and we’ll be back to visit in the morning.” Giles said.

“Thanks Rupes.” Spike said gratefully.

“Don’t mention it.” Giles replied, ushering the kids out of the waiting room. Willow and Xander followed with their kids, waving goodbye.

Spike went back into the room Buffy had been taken to for the night, and a nurse helped him to put the girls down. With his hands empty, he sat down on the edge of Buffy’s bed, taking her hand in his.

“How you doing?” He asked.

“Tired.” Buffy replied sleepily.

“Then get some sleep.” Spike said, giving her a kiss on the forehead before taking a seat in the chair next to the bed instead.

“Can’t you stay here with me?” Buffy asked, moving over in the bed to make room for him. Spike willingly obliged.

“That better?” He asked, and Buffy nodded, curling up close to him.

“I’m glad you came back.” She mumbled.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“All those years ago.” Buffy explained. “I’m glad you came back.”

“So am I.”