“Mom!! I’m home!” Was the echo left ringing in the foyer as the blonde’s feet took the stairs two at a time. Buffy closed the door to her room and fell back onto the bed. She closed her eyes and curled her legs, her arms automatically finding solace in the tiny stuffed pig she held. It had not been a good day for Buffy Summers. But yet, she hadn’t had a good day in quite a while.

She closed her eyes as she heard the feet coming up the stairs, praying that they would continue down the hall.

“Keep walking, keep walking, kee- damn it.”

The footsteps stopped at her door and a single knock was bounced off the opening door.

“Hey, Buff!”

She bounced as her brother jumped on the bed, turning toward him and smiling as she opened her eyes.

“Hey, Buz.”

Even though he towered over her, Lynden was still her little brother. It amazed her how grown up he seemed as he lay beside her flexing the bulging muscles in his arm. But it seemed that they were both grown now, even though she didn’t really remember the transition. Buffy closed her eyes and pushed the looming thoughts away, concentrating on what Lynden was saying.

“What are you doing tonight?” He asked casually, turning to face her with a glint in his eye.

She narrowed her eyes, “Why?”

“Just wondering.” He shrugged his shoulders and picked up her stuffed pig, tossing it high in the air and catching it.

She snatched at his hands, trying to free Mr. Gordo from his tormentor.

“What do you want, Lynden?”

He turned to face her with a well practiced look of innocence.

“Is it a crime for me to want to spend some time with my sister?”

One golden brow arched as he rolled over and sighed.

“Alright, alright. Can you take me over to Spike’s?”

Buffy tried to ignore the tingle that ran through her when Lynden said HIS name, the name that seemed permanently etched into her brain, haunting her thoughts and dreams.

She tried to think of anything other than bright blue eyes and sculpted cheekbones.

She tried to think of anything other than her brother’s fifteen year old best friend.



Buffy rubbed her stomach, trying to will away the nervous feeling residing there. When did things become so complicated? These people were her friends. So what if every one of them were younger than her? She didn’t think of them as kids and she sure as hell didn’t think of herself as a woman. Actually, Buffy really didn’t know what she was anymore.But three years ago? Buffy Summers had everything. A senior in high school with a scholarship to UCLA, and a family anyone would want for there own.

Only she didn’t realize the lie she was living until she watched her father throw her mother half way across a room. She still doesn’t know what happened to her father. He simply woke up one day and hated them. He left the house and everything he owned, only taking his car and the clothes on his back. Oh, but he did come back occasionally, to beat her mother and then finally to turn his hand toward her.

She remembers the way he spoke to her. The things he said, how she wasn’t good enough, that he wasn’t proud of her. She remembers not being able to breath. Being in a hospital, wearing a heart monitor and oxygen mask, begging God to help her forget. She remembers not leaving her room and hearing Lynden cry in the room beside her, unable to help him because she couldn’t help herself. She remembers the letter that took her scholarship away and watching her classmates move on and start their lives through a hospital window.

But after a while, the panic attacks were gone. She could breath again and anger began to replace the sadness. Her father had quit giving her mother any support for her or Lynden and had been having an affair with her mother’s cousin. Who just happened to be four years older than Buffy.

She tries to remember when she grew up, tries to remember the day she became a woman. Was she a woman? Why did being a certain age make her a woman? She didn’t think of herself that way, she could hardly believe that she had turned twenty in July.

She looked over at Lynden in the passenger seat. Her little buz. He was the one who had grown up. He had pulled himself together and became the man of the house. She smiled as she thought of how proud she was of him, of all of the things he had sacrificed. She still remembers the day he had quit football in search of a job to support their family. Her lip trembled as it hit her how much he resembled their father. But Lynden was a real man, he loved her and her mother and she thanked God everyday for him. It amazed her that he was only fifteen, his heart and mind were so wise beyond his years. He’s growth spurt had shot him up to well over six feet and football had helped sculpt him into a very handsome man.

He caught her gaze and shot her a wink, making her smile as she turned back to the road. She shook her head trying to get her concentration back on the road, instead of the past.

“What are you and Dru gonna do tonight?” Lynden asked casually, looking out the window.

“Don’t know.” She shrugged.

Drusilla was her best friend, who just happened to be Spike’s sister. Dru had came along at just the right time in her life, to help pull her out of her depression. It was weird how they all had met and became friends. Lynden had first become friends with Lorne, Spike and Drusilla’s other brother. She smiled as she thought of Lorne. The prep, they all called him. They all made fun of his metrosexual status, but were jealous of his ability to get any girl he wanted. Then Lynden had met Spike after Lorne asked him to look out for him on the football field, since it was his first year. But it seemed that Spike needed no help on the field and took to American football like a duck to water, quickly becoming one of the star players.

She remembers the day Spike Howard first came into her life with his big, blue eyes and blonde curls. She remembers how her heart skipped a beat when he spoke to her with a slight accent, his voice a soft timbre.

Then she remembers finding out how old he was.

She had laughed at them at first, knowing that they were kidding with her. There was no way the man that stood in front of her was fifteen. But it was true and she had distanced herself from the temptation that was Spike Howard.

Buffy never expected to fall in love with the Howard’s. Their father, Ken, had taken her own father’s place in her life, keeping her laughing while being a rock for her to lean on. And their mother Lynn had quickly become one of her best friends and confidants. She loved the entire family with all of her heart. She and Lynden stayed at the Howard’s more than their own home.

She turned down the familiar street and smiled as she saw Dru bickering with Lorne over the dog yipping at their feet. She turned into the driveway, stopping at her own little parking spot to the left of Lynn’s car. Lynden got out of the car and headed toward the squabbling siblings, while Buffy remained still in the car. She sucked in a breath as the door opened and watched as Spike walked onto the porch, his eyes landing on her. She smiled at his smirk, only to release the breath she was holding with a sigh.

It was gonna be a long night.

“I don’t give a flying fuck who’s dog it is, if it chews another one of my shoes up, it’s gone!”

Buffy stifled a laugh as she shut her car door and made her way to a livid Dru.

“Well, who was the idiot that left the shoe on the porch, Drusilla?” Lorne threw back at his irate sister.

Dru crossed her arms over her chest and lifted her nose in the air. “It was raining and my shoes were soaked! I didn’t feel like listening to mum gripe for an hour about her carpet!”

“Well you should have put them in the chair so he couldn’t have reached them!”

Buffy grabbed Dru as she lunged for Lorne, and laughed as she wrestled her toward the house.

“Come on tiger, let’s find mom and dad.”

Dru calmed down and sent one last glare toward Lorne as she followed Buffy into the house. Buffy kicked off her shoes and headed toward the kitchen.

“Mom! Dad! You’re other daughter is home!”

“Oh God.”

Buffy laughed as she made her way to Ken, who was sitting at the table. She ruffled his hair and dodged his swatting hand.

“Love you too, dad.”

She walked over to Lynn and kissed her cheek, picking up a towel and drying the dishes in the strainer.

“Where’s Lynden?”

She sighed as she looked out the window, watching the boys laughing in the front yard.

“Out there with the guys.”

Ken got up and made his way to the door. Buffy smiled as he caught Lynden in a headlock and started a backyard wrestling match.

Her blood warmed as she saw Spike join the fray, smiling a little wider at their antics. She froze when he looked up and caught her staring, his eyes sending chill bumps down her arms. He flashed her a quick smile before jumping on Lorne’s back, kicking his sides to make him run faster.

She snapped her eyes away when Lynn spoke to Dru, guilt creeping into her. There she was again, caught in his web. What was it about him that made her forget everything? That made everything else fall away until there was nothing but Buffy and Spike.

This was not good.



“So what did you tell him?” Buffy asked as she lounged back on Dru’s bed, watching the brunette as she painted her nails.

“To quit fucking calling me.”

Buffy giggled and fell back on the bed, covering her eyes with her arm. She jumped as the door swung open and tensed as Spike strolled in the room.

“What are you birds doing?” He stopped and stood by the bed, eyeing Buffy as she quickly readjusted her sleep shorts.

“Nothing.” Dru answered as she recapped the nail polish before sitting it on the bedside table.

“Mm.”

Buffy tried to slow her racing heart as Spike smirked at her, those too blue eyes trailing down her face and further down the length of her body. She fumbled for the sheet and pulled it over her body as Spike’s smirk turned into a wolfish grin. He winked at her as he turned, heading for Dru’s bathroom.

“What are you doing?” Dru asked before he could shut the door.

“Taking a shower.”

“What’s wrong with the other bathroom?”

The door opened and Spike grinned as he tossed his dirty clothes at them.

“Nothing.”

Buffy breathed through her nose as she held the black shirt that had landed near her. Her fists clenched before tossing the shirt off the side of the bed. She lay back against the pillow and closed her eyes, attempting to sooth her raging nerves.

What was wrong with her? This was Spike, her brother’s best friend and her best friend’s brother. And he was her friend as well. After the initial attraction had faded away, she had gotten relatively close to Spike. He was always at her house and since she really didn’t have anyone besides Lynden, he had become one of her best friends. When she thought about it, it was really quite pathetic. All of her friends were her brother’s friends. She didn’t have any friends of her own anymore, they had all went on to start their own lives. So for awhile it was just the three of them. Buffy, Lynden, and Spike. It was then that she realized how truly different Spike was. He wasn’t a normal fifteen year old. He was actually just like Lynden. So smart and wise that it took her breath sometimes. He was a man. A man who just happened to be fifteen years old.

After a while Lorne began to hang out with them and when Lorne came, Dru followed right in behind him. There was two years between all of them. Dru was nineteen, Lorne seventeen, and Spike of course was fifteen. But to Buffy, they were all the same. Put them all together and there was no difference in any of their ages. It was just the gang. She slowly began to realize that the Howard’s had had a difficult past as well. While their family had toughed it out and stayed together, their problems had hurled them all into adulthood, just the same as herself and Lynden.

“You gotta work tomorrow?”

Buffy opened her eyes, rolling to face her best friend.

“Of course.”

Buffy hated her job, but she was incredibly thankful for it at the same time. Her cousin had offered her a position answering the telephone at his small business office, allowing her to complete some online classes from a local college. While she was grateful, she hated every bit of it. She hated having to work and make a living for her family, while most people her age were out on their own, attending the colleges she had applied for, while she took classes from some online school no one had even heard of. She really hates her father.

“What are you gonna do?” Buffy asked.

“Probably chauffer the boys around.” Dru sighed and flopped back against the pillows dramatically.

“When is Lorne gonna get his car fixed?”

“When he gets a job and pays for it.”

Buffy laughed and listened as the shower echoed around the room. She could just see him in there. That tightly muscled body glistening with water, blonde curls plastered against his forehead.

She shook her head to clear it. This had to end. These lusty feelings for Spike were no good. She didn’t “Like” him, she just wanted him. He made her blood boil in a way that she hadn’t felt in a long time. He was still the same Spike who ran around in his underwear and slept in the same bed with her brother. But he also was the Spike who liked to get his hands greasy underneath the hood of a car, Spike that was a pure athlete, scoring touchdowns left and right. She didn’t know when things had changed. They had always flirted, hugging or cuddling up on the couch to watch a scary movie. But now, it was different. The touches more intimate, the flirting tinged with subtle hints and innuendo. She knew how Spike was, he could have any girl he wanted. Since she had known him, he had probably had twenty girlfriends. While he wasn’t a player, he could just get the girls. And boy did he love to talk about them. She knew he was a virgin, but she also knew that he had some experience, simply because he liked to talk about it. He liked to let her know that girls wanted him, he liked to know that when he talked about another girl, a spark of jealousy would ignite in her chest.

But while he could talk about and date anyone he wanted, Spike was incredibly jealous of anyone that showed interest in her. She didn’t even want to think of what happened to poor Riley. Lynden and Spike had taken good care to repel him from Buffy. Spike was the epitome of confusion. He would constantly torment her about her crooked nose, but would genuinely care to see the new clothes she bought or to hear about her day.

She loved Spike.

While she definitely didn’t love him as a brother, it wasn’t the love you hold for a friend. And she was by no means “In Love” with him, she just loved him in way that made her head hurt.

She rolled over and closed her eyes when the bathroom door opened, determined not to look. She squealed as the bed bounced beneath her and a wet body wrapped it self around her.

“Spike!” She laughed as he wrestled with her, holding her down when she tried to scramble away.

He laughed as she squirmed and finally relented his hold on her, turning to lie on his back.

“Goodnight.” He closed his eyes and pulled the covers up over his head.

“Get out of my bed, Spike.” Dru told him, trying to jerk the sheet down.

“Nope. Can’t. Sleeping in here tonight.” He rolled over and burrowed against Buffy.

She laughed and ran her hands through his curls. Sometimes she was reminded of just exactly how old he was.

“Fine.” Dru rolled over and pushed her rear into his back, hoping to disgust him into leaving.

“Dru get your big ass off of me.” He flinched as she slapped at him and scooted closer to Buffy, leaving them as close as possible without touching.

Buffy giggled and sucked in a breath as his eyes opened to look at her. She jumped as a hand found its way to her hip and kept her eyes glued to his. She tensed as his hand trailed down her thigh, moving around to the back of her leg before coming to rest on her ass. There was a smirk on his face and she gasped as he squeezed his hand.

“Get out of my bed Spike, I mean it!”

Dru ripped the covers up and his hand flew back just in time. Buffy’s heart raced as he climbed out of bed, leaning over to kiss Dru as she swatted at him.

“Go, you little pervert.”

He laughed and stopped at the door.

“Night, guys. Love you.”

Buffy looked over at the door just in time to catch a wink before it was shut. She stared at the door, willing her heart to quit thumping. She was pretty sure Dru could feel it vibrating the bed.

What had just happened?

“Hello?”

“Hey, best friend.”

Buffy smiled and leaned back in her office chair.

“Hey, Dru.”

“What are you doing?”

“Working, you?”

“Just got home from school.”

Buffy shook her head, “I still can’t believe you’re taking summer classes.”

“Well, there’s nothing else to do except stay home with the boys.”

“Do you know what I would give to be able to do that?” Buffy smiled.

“Trust me, you would get tired of it.”

“Yeah, yeah. Have you gotta work tonight?”

Dru sighed into the phone, telling Buffy her answer.

“Of fucking course.”

Buffy laughed and turned the volume down on her phone, Dru could get really fired up sometimes.

“I think the boys are going to your house.”

Buffy felt her stomach flip. The boys at her house. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, actually it was perfectly normal. They would usually switch houses each weekend. Her mother loved the Howard’s as much as she and Lynden.

“Oh.”

“You don’t sound too enthused.”

Buffy sighed into the phone, “Sorry, rough day.”

“Lotta call’s?”

“Yeah.” Buffy lied, closing her eyes.

She couldn’t come out and tell Dru the reason for her sudden uneasiness. This was a blue eyed demon she’d have to fight on her own.


“Mom?”

Buffy walked through the house and stopped at the kitchen doorway. Her mother sat at the table, the phone in front of her and her head in her hands.

“What is it this time?”

Her mother raised her head and tried to give Buffy a smile, but it faded away before it began.

“He’s cut off Lynden’s insurance.”

“What?” Buffy came to the table and pulled out a chair before sitting down. “He can’t do that! He was court ordered to-“

“He did it.”

Buffy leaned back in her chair and let out a humorless laugh at the bastard her father turned out to be.

“Don’t tell Lynden.”

Buffy nodded her head and swallowed back a few tears, rising from the table.

“I won’t.”

“I’m going to stay with Lynn tonight. The boys are coming here and I hate for them to see me like this.”

Buffy nodded her head and rounded the table, pulling her mother into a hug.

“It’s gonna be alright, mom.”

Her mother pulled back and smiled a watery smile, wiping a tear from Buffy’s cheek.

“I know, honey.”



Buffy swallowed the last sip of wine from her glass, grimacing at the taste. She really hated alcohol. But wasn’t it supposed to take your troubles away? Make you happy and care free? She shrugged and plunked the glass down. She was drunk. Two glasses of wine and she was three sheets to the wind. She giggled. Two and three make five! She saw headlights in the window and smiled to herself. The boys were home. Spike was here. Hot, sexy Spike. Spike, who she could just rip his clothes off and -Wait, the boys were home?

She jumped up and looked out the window, seeing all three of them walking toward the house.

“Shit! Shit, shit, shit!”

Lynden would kill her if he caught her like this. She scrambled to her feet and grabbed the glass, sliding into the kitchen. She jerked open the cabinet and threw the glass toward the back, she would wash it tomorrow.

“Shit!”

The front door opened just as she took the back stairway two steps at a time. She ran in her room and locked the door, only to hit her knees when the adrenaline left her. The room was spinning around her and she could faintly hear them call her name.

“Siz?” Lynden rattled the door handle.

“Yeah?”

“Just checking to see if you were home.”

Buffy straightened up and breathed deep, her buzz returning to her.

“Yep. I’m here.”

“Alright, we got some food. Come on down and eat with us.”

“Okay.” She let out a breath as she heard him go back downstairs.

She crawled over to the bed and pulled herself up. She shouldn’t have drank anything. It was her father’s fault. She would just blame it on him. She couldn’t go downstairs like this. Lynden would hit the roof, Lorne would laugh, and Spike would try to find the liquor to drink himself. And that was all she needed for Spike to get drunk. She could still remember Dru’s graduation party. She laughed to herself, how funny he was when he was drunk. She jumped when her door knob rattled, and sat up just as it flew open leaving a knife wielding Lorne smiling at her.

“Hey, precious.”

She flopped back against the pillows and rolled away from him.

“Go away.”

“Yeah, okay.”

She sighed as he jumped on top of her.

“Lorne, I’m serious.”

“Mm Hm.” He sniffed around her hair and his head popped up. “Uh oh.”

She rolled over to face him and knew the look on his face.

“Lorne.” She warned.

He opened his mouth to scream just as Buffy pounced on him, straddling him with her hands covering his loose lips.

“You better not say a word.” Lorne nodded his head and she pulled her hands back, resting them on his chest.

“What are you doing?”

Buffy’s head spun so fast her neck popped, she grimaced and closed her eyes, opening them to see Spike standing in her doorway.

“Nothing.” Buffy said as she slid of off Lorne, coming to rest beside him on the bed.

“Is that what they’re calling it these days?” Spike asked as he walked in, taking a seat at her vanity.

“Ha ha. You’re so funny Spike.” She replied with a sarcastic smile.

“I try.”

“What do you want anyway?”

He looked up from his voyage through her vanity.

“Dru’s here.”

Buffy’s brow scrunched in confusion. “I thought she had to work tonight?”

Spike nodded as he went back to rummaging through her drawers.

“She did. She got off early though.”

Lorne got up from the bed and made his way to the window.

“Yep, she’s here.”

Buffy nodded at Lorne, watching as he walked into the hallway and back down stairs. She looked back over at Spike, who was currently twisting a tube of her lipstick.

“Get out of my stuff.”

His eyes shot to her. “You gonna make me?”

It was the wine. It had to have been, otherwise she would have went downstairs and left him to follow when he didn’t have attention anymore. Yep, it was the wine that made her give him a kittenish smile as she rose from the bed and made her way toward him.

Spike stopped twisting the tube and held it in his hand, his eyes glued to hers.

Buffy grabbed the lipstick from him and twisted it back down, throwing it into her drawer. She cut her eyes back to his and fisted her hand in his shirt, jerking him up from her vanity bench.

“Yeah, I am.”

He moved closer to her, grabbing her hips in his hands.

“And just what are you gonna do about it, Buffy?”

His lips were on hers before she knew it. She moaned into his mouth, jerking him closer with his shirt still clutched in her fist. God, it was so good. The feelings running through her, things she hadn’t felt in so long. She clutched him closer to her. God, these feelings. Like fire being chased by ice water through her veins. How could he do this to her, make her feel things she had never felt in all her life.

His hand slid down her hip to her ass, squeezing and pulling her closer to him. He broke away from her lips and trailed his kiss down her neck. His hand left her ass and made its way around to her stomach, trailing upward toward her trembling chest.

“Oh God.” She moaned as his hand closed around her breast.

“Buffy?”

She jerked away from him and landed on her vanity, perfume bottles rattling. Her hand covered her mouth as she stared at him, listening as Dru made her way up the stairs.

“Yeah?” Her voice shook when she spoke and she watched as Spike headed toward the door, bypassing Dru without a word and going straight into the bathroom with a slam of the door.

Dru watched him go and turned back to Buffy. “What’s up with him?”

Buffy shrugged and closed her vanity drawer with her hip.

“He’s mad because I made him get out of my stuff.”

Dru rolled her eyes and followed Buffy out the door and down the stairs.

“He’s such a baby.”

Buffy’s hand touched her swollen lips.

“Yeah.”

Buffy sighed as she watched Lynden head up the stairs, Spike and Lorne trailing behind him.

What had she done? She had made out with a fifteen year old! Forget make out, they had rounded second and were coming close to third base when Dru interrupted them. She dropped her head into her hands. She was a cradle robber. Oh God, she was going to hell.

She could still feel his kiss. All those feelings were still coursing through her veins and her body was aching for his touch. She was so, so fucked. She lifted her head and watched Dru get up from the couch heading for the stairs. She stopped at the bottom and looked back at Buffy.

“You coming?”

Buffy nodded and rose from the couch, going into the kitchen and checking the back door, making sure it was locked. She made her way to the front, watching Dru lock the front door.

Dru smiled and looped her arm through Buffy’s making their way up the stairs. The boys were in Lynden’s room and she could hear Spike talking.

“Man, did you see Harmony today? God, she’s hot.”

Buffy froze at the doorway and looked inside, watching as Spike slowly smirked at her. She shook her head and headed toward her room, leaving Dru to go in Lynden’s room with the guys.

She slammed the door to her room, pulling her shirt over her head and grabbing her nightgown of the hook on the door. That little bastard. How dare he? Talk about another girl right after they- Buffy stopped and shook her head. This was stupid. It was a mistake. That earth shattering, soul consuming kiss was a mistake. Spike was a fifteen year old hormone bomb who would probably make out with a tree stump. What did it matter to her?

She pulled the nightgown over her head and turned to her vanity, looking in the mirror. She didn’t look like a woman, she didn’t feel like a woman.

“God, I’m so stupid.”

“Why do you say that?”

Her head snapped to the doorway and she watched as Spike slowly closed the door.

She narrowed her eyes and turned back to the mirror.

“What do you want?”

He smiled and walked over to her bed, laying back against the pillows. He kicked off his shoes and leisurely turned his eyes back toward her.

“What’s with the attitude?”

She sucked in a breath, closing her eyes. “Nothing. I don’t have an attitude.”

He laughed and turned toward her on the bed, resting his head on his crooked arm.

“I know what’s wrong with you.”

She sighed and turned toward him. “And just what exactly is wrong with me then?”

“You’re jealous.”

She snorted and shook her head.

“Jealous?”

“Yes. You, little Ms. Buffy, are jealous.”

“And you are out of your mind.”

She got up and headed for the door, reaching for the door knob just as his body trapped her against the wood.

“No, I’m not.”

She closed her eyes as he pressed against her and moaned when his hands came around her. Her head fell back as his lips found her neck and she laced her fingers through his where they rested on her stomach.

“You’re so jealous you can’t stand it.”

Her eyes shot open and she pushed back against him, knocking him away from her. She turned to look at him and wanted to slap the look of satisfaction clear off his face.

“I have no reason to be jealous of you, Spike.” She felt triumphant at the look that crossed his face.

“Oh, really?”

Damn, he was fast. He had her against the door in a heartbeat, his tongue tangling with hers. She clutched at him, she was drowning in the feelings he was bringing out of her. How could he do this? She jerked away as her conscious came knocking, telling her exactly who was evoking these feelings in her.

“Oh God. We can’t. No. No, we can’t-“

Spike jerked her back against him holding her and kissing her neck.

“Yes, we can.”

She jerked away again and turned to face him.

“We can’t. You’re fifteen.”

He shook his head and came at her again.

“So? It doesn’t matter, Buffy.”

“Yes, it does-“

“No, it doesn’t. Feel, Buffy.” He pulled her against him and kissed her cheek, running his lips down her throat. “Just feel.”

Her head fell back and her eyes closed. She let go of everything and concentrated on the feelings inside her. She clutched him to her and held on as he picked her up, walking to the bed. He tossed her on the bed and she giggled as he crawled up her body, catching her in a soul searing kiss. God, what was it about him that made her forget everything?

She ran her hands up his arms and drug her finger nails back down them, causing him to hiss. He bucked against her and Buffy felt her legs fall open. He nestled in between them and she jerked her head back as he thrust softly against her.

“Does that feel good?”

She whimpered and nodded her head, her hands trailing beneath his shirt to find his back. He thrust against her, letting a moan slip as she clawed her hands down his back her orgasm hitting her.

“Oh God!” Buffy moaned into his neck as he surged against her, breathing deep as he found his release. He turned to face her and dropped a light kiss against her lips, before hopping up from the bed. She watched as he walked to the door and stopped turning to face her.

“Night. Sweet Dreams.”

He closed the door behind him and Buffy turned on her side, reality creeping back in. God, what was wrong with her? She just let a fifteen year old dry hump her into the bed.

And she had loved every minute of it.

It felt so good. God, did it feel good. She smiled a bit, some of the guilt draining from her. It was wrong, it was so, so wrong.

But it felt so right.

It dawned on her that she should have been upset about him leaving, it seemed as if he had gotten what he wanted from her and then didn’t need her anymore. But she wasn’t stupid. She and Spike were not gonna happen, there would never be a whirl wind romance of love. There would only be heat and passion that burned until it consumed them.

And then it would be over.

She will move on and God knows he will move on, so why can’t they have this?

She knew exactly why. A million reasons of why it was wrong popped into her mind, but she ignored them for right now.

She fell asleep with a smile.

“Hello?”

“Hello, my other daughter.”

Buffy smiled into the phone.

“Hey, my other mother.”

“What are you up to?”

“No good.”

Lynn softly laughed, “I bet. You at work?”

Buffy sighed and leaned back in her chair.

“Always.”

“What are you doing when you get off?”

“Nothing that I know of.”

“How much do you love me?”

Buffy laughed as she leaned forward, twirling a pen across the desk.

“It depends on what you want me to do.”

“Pick up the boys from practice.”

The pen whirled off the edge of the desk.

“Why?”

“Because me and your dad have to go see Mr. Giles, he’s in the hospital again. And you know how they are, we won’t get home until midnight.”

Buffy closed her eyes.

“Yeah.”

“And besides, I haven’t seen you in forever, don’t you love me anymore?”

“You know I do.”

“Well, then go pick up our boys and be at home when I get there.”

Buffy rubbed her eyes. “Alright.”

“Are you sure? You don’t sound too enthused.”

“Yes, mom.”

“Alright, baby. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Alright.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Buffy hung up the phone and leaned back. Lynn was right, she hadn’t been to the Howard’s in almost a week. In fact, she had barely even spoke to any of them since the ‘incident’.

And it had been hell.

She missed them like crazy. Lynden had been over at their house nearly every night, and each night she made some excuse not to stay as she dropped him off. But it seemed as though her excuses had finally ran out.




Buffy sped into the parking lot, narrowly missing the mini van pulling out. She was late and the boys were gonna give her hell. She pulled up into a parking space and scanned the field, only to find it empty. She turned to the field house and watched as Spike sauntered out, his gym bag thrown across his shoulder. God, he was walking sex. Buffy sighed as she watched his muscles roll smoothly beneath his skin. She rolled the window down as he made it to the car.

“Where’s Lynden and Lorne?”

He never stopped, never even acknowledged her as he opened the back door, throwing his bag inside. He walked around the car and slid into the front seat.

Buffy turned to look at him, her blood near boiling.

“What IS your problem?”

He shrugged and looked at the window.

“Nothing.”

“Where’s the others?”

“They went home with Clay for the night.”

“So they’re not coming?”

“No.”

She sat back in her seat, pissed beyond belief. What the fuck was his problem? God, she hated him sometimes. She pulled out of the parking lot, making her way to the house.

“Why did you come?”

“Because your mom and dad went to see Giles.”

“Mm.”

“Why didn’t you go with Clay?”

“Because Clay gets on my fucking nerves.”

She shook her head and concentrated on the road, determined not to let him get to her.
She pulled into the drive way and stopped, waiting for him to get out. He looked over at her, but she kept her eyes straight ahead.

“What are you doing?”

“Waiting on you to get out.”

“You’re not staying?”

She looked at him then. “Why would I want to stay? You’ve been an asshole ever since we left the school.”

Spike smirked at her and leaned back against the seat.

“No, I haven’t.”

She shook her head and gripped the steering wheel.

“Get out, Buffy.”

“No!”

He reached over and twirled her hair around his finger.
“Get out. I’m here by myself.”

She slammed the car into park and got out, making a bee line for the door. She left the door open for him and headed up the stairs for Dru’s room. She went inside and slammed the door, locking it before landing on the bed. She rolled over and closed her eyes. She was not gonna make another mistake, she would just stay in Dru’s room until somebody came home.

She tensed as she heard the door knob rattle. She sat up on the bed and listened as he tried to jimmy it open, releasing a breath as she heard his retreating footsteps. She pushed the small disappointed feeling away and lay back down against the pillows, only to jump back up when the door burst open.

Spike leaned against the door knob, smirk and butter knife in place.

“What do you want?”

He shook his head as he strolled into the room, tossing the knife down on Dru’s dresser.

“Nothing, just want to experience the pleasure of your company.”

She narrowed her eyes as he lay down on the bed, turning to face her.

“You won’t be experiencing any pleasure from me.”

He smirked and closed his eyes, snuggling into the pillow.

“Sure.”

She sighed and leaned back against her own pillow, scooching over to the edge of the bed. She closed her eyes and concentrated on nothing. She cleared her mind of everything, especially the blonde Adonis lying beside her. Her breathing slowed and evened out, her muscles relaxing. God, it felt good to just lay back and relax.

Buffy was nearly asleep when she felt it. Hot, sweet breath blowing gently against her cheek. She opened her eyes and sucked in a breath. How did he get that close without her realizing it?

“What are you doing?” She knew he wasn’t asleep, ”Spike!” She nudged him and cocked a brow at him, as he pretended to wake up.

“What?”

“What are you doing?”

He stretched and rolled onto his back.

“Sleepin’.”

“Don’t you have your own room?”

“Don’t you?” He shot back.

She bit her lip and nodded her head, moving to get up.

“You know, as a matter of fact I do. I’ll just go home to it.”

She rose from the bed and he followed her, jerking her back against him. She stiffened as she felt him press against her back, nuzzling her neck with his lips.

“Don’t go.”

Her head dropped to the side as his lips closed around her sensitive flesh. She jerked
away though, as he slid a hand across her chest. She turned to face him.

“No.”

He smirked and advanced on her.

“Why?”

She backed away until she hit Dru’s dresser

“I will NOT make the same mistake again.”

He stopped and regarded her. She narrowed her eyes at the emotions that flit across his face. He almost looked- hurt.

“You think it was a mistake?”

She laughed and shook her head.

“There is no thinking to it! I know it was a mistake! A huge, white whale of a mistake!”

His jaw clenched as he stared at the floor.

“You wanted it. You know you did, Buffy. Is that what bothers you the most? Knowing that you, a twenty year old woman, burn for a fifteen year old?” He was across the floor in a second, jerking her to him. He stared into her eyes, nose to nose with her. “Because you wanted it, Buffy. Oh, how you wanted it.”
He ran his hand down her back, pulling her tight against his chest.

“And you still want it.”

She closed her eyes, wishing she could pull away. Jerk away from him and deny the truth he was laying before her.

“Don’t you?“ He nuzzled her cheek with his lips.

She sagged against him, her hands latching onto the hard muscles in his arms.

“Yes.”

He twined his fingers in her hair, pulling her head back and claiming her lips in a searing kiss.

She was so fucked.

She fell back against the dresser, grunting against his lips. He pulled back and ran his lips down her throat, whispering softly with each kiss.

“Been thinking about this ever sinc-”

The front door slammed.

She pushed him away from her and bolted for the bathroom in Dru’s room. She locked the door and leaned against it, sliding to the floor. She didn’t know where he went, she didn’t care either. All she knew, was that she wanted the floor to open up and swallow her.

Her head fell back against the door with a dull thud.

“Buffy?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you alright?”

She stood up and opened the door, smiling at Lynn’s concerned face.

“Yeah, just haven’t eaten much today. Got kinda sick at my stomach.”

Lynn rolled her eyes and took Buffy by the hand, leading her out and down the hall.

“Come on. I got a pizza.”

They stopped as Spike’s door flew open, his annoyed face halting their trek.

“Mother.”

“Son.” Lynn smirked at him.

Spike rolled his eyes and threw his practice clothes at her.

“Wash these.”

His eyes fell on Buffy and narrowed before the door slammed.

“Come on, dufus. Pizza awaits.”

Buffy sighed and followed Lynn down stairs.

Buffy sat at the Howard’s kitchen table, eyeing the piece of pizza Lynn placed in front of her. Why did she have to make up that stupid lie? She couldn’t eat right now if she wanted to, her stomach was in knots.

“I thought you were hungry?” Lynn sat down beside her, grabbing the pizza and taking a bite.

Buffy shrugged. “Guess not.”

“You’re weird.”

“Are you just now figuring that out, mother?” She looked over as Spike breezed past, snagging the pizza and wolfing it down. Lynn swatted at him as he took a seat beside her. “But I guess she can’t help that she was born that way.”

Buffy smirked, her tongue resting against her teeth.

“And just what way would that be, William?”

“Gee Buff, where should I start? The crooked nose or the huge gorilla feet?”

She laughed and threw her napkin at him. This was her Spike. He had always made fun of her about something, they were all that way, in fact. Ken was constantly grilling her about her “gorilla feet”. It was so strange, it actually made her feel good for them to make fun of her. She knew they loved her and it was just their way of showing it, even if it was a weird, messed up way.

“So, I’m guessing it would be safe to leave you two here by yourselves then?”

Buffy froze mid-swing in the kicking match beneath the table.

“What do you mean?”

“Since your dad is retarded, he offered to sit with Mr. Giles until he’s discharged and then take him home.”

“And?”

“He’s making me go with him. So, we probably won’t be home until dawn.”

Spike picked that moment to send a well aimed kick directly at her shin.

“Ughh!! You idiot!”

Spike laughed as she brought her leg up and rubbed the bruise already blossoming there.

“God!! I hate you, Spike!!”

He turned and gave his mother an innocent smile.

“We’ll be fine.”


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buffy threw the remote onto the coffee table. Stupid cable. One hundred channels of nothing.

She was bored.

Spike had disappeared into his room doing God knows what, leaving her to entertain herself. She couldn’t decide if she was thankful or pissed.

She leaned her head back against the couch and closed her eyes.

“BOO!”

Buffy screeched and fell forward onto the floor, her hand covering her racing heart.

Spike stood behind the couch, laughing as she got to her feet.

“You little ASSHOLE!”

She lunged at him, softly punching at him while he still laughed.

He grabbed her arms and pulled her against him, kissing her softly on the lips. She froze and jerked away, putting the couch between them once again.

He sighed and dropped his hands.

“What’s wrong this time?”

She shook her head, falling onto the couch.

“The same thing that’s been wrong every other time.”

“And what would that be?”

She gave him an incredulous look.

“Don’t be stupid. This whole thing is wrong. You are FIFTEEN years old.”

“So?”

“Ughh!!”
She stood from the couch and paced the floor.

“We’re not doing anything wrong.” She stopped and cocked a brow at him. “I mean, we’re not trying to get married or anything. We’re just having some fun.”

“I’m not a whore.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“I don’t mess around with people that I don’t- that I’m not-”

“That you don’t ‘like’?” He gestured with his fingers. “Who said anything about that? We’re just having fun.”

Buffy stopped and looked at him.

“So you want us to be friends with benefits, is that what you’re saying?

He rose from the couch and made his way toward her.

“I’m saying that I want us to be Spike and Buffy, the same as always.” He rested his hands on her waist. “And if a little kissing happens every now and then, so be it.” He ran his hands down her backside, squeezing.

She sighed and closed her eyes.

“This isn’t just kissing.”

He laughed softly and pulled her tight against him.

“It’s all part of the package.”

He kissed her.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Mmh…”

“You like that?”

Buffy whimpered as Spike nipped along her collar bone, soothing the bites with his tongue. How they made it to his bed, Buffy could not remember. She opened her eyes and looked down as he took her breast into his mouth, sucking gently.

“God…”

He nudged her legs open with his hips, settling himself between them. Buffy softly pushed up against him, causing his head to jerk back.

“Yeah, that’s it.”

He stared down at her as he began to softly thrust, his thrust stronger with each bat of her eyelashes. She watched his face contort in pleasure. His eyes, so blue, even in the dark they were as bright as the sky.

“What are you looking at?” And that smart ass smirk was sending her into an unbelievable orgasm.

“Unh! Oh my God… Come on, Spike… Mmm…”

He thrust harder against her, his own orgasm approaching.

“Yeah, talk to me. Come on, baby…”

She opened her eyes as something she had caged inside herself long ago broke free. She didn’t care how old he was anymore, or how wrong it was. All she cared about right now was the feeling of having him on top of her, sending her to heaven.

She pulled his head down and licked his neck, her hot breath making him shiver.

“You want me to talk to you, huh? Do you want me to tell you how good this feels? How much I want to fuck you right now?”

“Unh!” He thrust hard against her as the crude words passed her lips. It was unbelievable to hear her sweet lips uttering such dirty words to him. “Yeah, come on. Tell me just how much you want it.”

She smirked at him, pushing up against his chest. She used his surprise to roll him off of her, coming to rest astride him. He smirked at her, his hands coming to rest on her ass.

“Hang on, cowboy. You’re in for a ride.”

She ground against him, his eyes rolling back into their sockets. She gyrated against him until he jerked her against him, his lips seeking hers.

He broke away and panted against her lips. He pulled her down hard against him and held her, sending her into a delicious release.

“Oh God, Buffy!”

She smiled as he flopped back against his pillow, a small sated smile on his lips. She knew he was about to fall asleep, so she leaned forward and gave him a chaste kiss. He mumbled as she gingerly stood up and she stopped at the door, looking back at him. He was already asleep, his breath slow and even. She shook her head, closing the door behind her, a smile gracing her own lips.

“Come on, Spike! Yes! Yes! YES!!!”

The bleachers rattled as Buffy jumped up and down, screaming loudly as Spike ran the ball into the in zone.

God, she loved football games.

She smiled as she watched Lorne and Lynden run to him, slapping his ass in congratulation. She laughed to herself, yet another thing she loved. Spike made his way to the sideline, his teammates welcoming him with slaps to his helmet. He jerked his helmet off, grabbing a water bottle from Lynden. She sighed as she watched him squirt the water onto his face and hair in an attempt to cool down. God, he was hot.

She sat back down on the bleachers, squeezing her thighs together. Thoughts of their last tryst running rampant through her mind. They had stolen a quick moment in her room, while Lynden took a shower. There had been no time for teasing or flirting, he had shoved her against the door, hoisting her legs around his waist while he took her breath with his kiss. The way he panted into her ear, dirty little words that made her blush- she squirmed on the hard seat. No use thinking about it now, she didn’t think the coach would appreciate her dragging him off the field to the locker room. She looked at Ken and Lynn sitting beside her, she didn’t think they would appreciate it either. She sighed and looked back to the game. Even though her guilt had long ago waned about the little affair, it still weighed on her mind. And keeping a secret from Dru was a night mare. She wished Dru could be here, maybe then her mind wouldn’t venture to bad places. Bad places with bad thoughts. Stupid Dru. Why did she have to have a job?

The rest of the game passed with Lynden making an interception and Lorne earning a touchdown. Nothing made her more proud than seeing her boys out there on the field. She bounced on her toes as she stood at the door to the locker room, eager to congratulate her boys. Lorne was the first to emerge, grabbing her around the waist and spinning her in a sweaty victory hug.

“Lorne!” She laughed as he nuzzled his sweaty hair against her neck. He dropped her and stood to the side as Lynden enveloped her in yet another sweaty bear hug.

“Buz!”

He laughed and let her go, throwing his arm around her.

“I can’t help it. I just wuv my wittle siz.” He pushed her cheeks together, laughing at the fish face she was currently sporting.

She jerked her head back and watched as another player emerged from the steamy locker room.

“Where’s Spike?”

Lynden pointed with his helmet to the other side of the fence.

“He’s over there talking to the slut squad.”

She turned to the left, watching as a voluptuous blonde giggled at something he had said. She bit down on her tongue, beating the small spark of jealousy out of her mind. She didn’t care what he did. If he wants to fuck half of the school, let him. She didn’t care. Really.

Buffy sighed and shook her head. She was out of her mind. He was a fifteen year old hormone bomb, he was gonna get it from anyone stupid enough to give it. She shook her head once again, latching onto Lorne and Lynden.

“Come on, boys. He can ride home with his mom and dad.”

They made their way down the stadium only stopping to tell Lynn that Spike would be riding home with them. Buffy popped the trunk of her car, settling in the drivers seat while the boys threw their gear in the back. Her mind kept replaying the scene with the busty blonde. She closed her eyes and ran her hand across her face.

“What’s wrong?”

She turned to Lorne and gave him a smile.

“Nothing, just a bit headachy from all the screaming.”

“I bet. Did you scream when I made that touchdown?”

She laughed at his enthusiasm.

“Of course I did!”

“It WAS awesome, wasn’t it?”

She smiled and nodded her head, pulling into the Howard’s driveway.

“Are you guys gonna stay here tonight?” Lorne asked as he opened his door.

She shrugged and turned to Lynden, finding him conked out in the backseat.

“I guess we’ll just go on home.”

Lorne huffed and turned to the backseat.

“Lynden! Wake your dumb ass up and get out. You’re staying here tonight.”

She sighed as Lynden trudged out of the car and went into the house. She wasn’t even sure if he was awake or not.

“Get out.”

“Lorne-”

“GET OUT!”

She sighed and threw her door open.

“I don’t know what it is with you Howard’s! You’ve got some kind of crazy control over me.”

“You love it.”

“Yeah-” She sighed and closed the door behind her. “I know.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buffy lay in Dru’s bed staring at the ceiling, thoughts of the blonde still swarming around her traitorous mind. Why did it bother her so much? They weren’t going out, she had no claim over him. They were glorified fuck buddies. Even though it had yet to go that far.

And thinking now, Buffy promised herself that it never would. She would just end it. It was unhealthy, it was wrong, it was- so, so good.

She rolled over and punched her pillow. She hadn’t been with Spike in over a week and he had made no advances, or even acknowledged her really. All thanks to Miss Tall, Blonde, and Skanky probably.

She jerked her chin up, her mind set in stone.

As far as she was concerned, it was already over.

She nodded her head, her resolve firmly in place. She wouldn’t even so much as think of Spike Howard in any way other than as a friend from now on.

She snuggled into the pillow, a smile on her face.

Spike Howard would plague her thoughts no more.

“Hello, Goldilocks.”

Shit.

“I know you’re not asleep.”

Buffy fought to keep her eyes closed. She knew that if she didn’t give him any attention, he would eventually give up and leave her alone. She tensed as the bed dipped with his weight, fighting hard to keep her breathing even.

He ran is hand through her hair and down her back, finally cupping her ass.

She squeezed her eyes shut and sucked in a ragged breath. He squeezed her firmly and let out a husky laugh.

“Come on, possum. “ He squeezed until a soft moan resounded through the dark room. “Why did you leave me?”

Her eyes shot open and she jerked away from him.

“It looked like you were pretty busy.” She snarkily replied.

“Mm. So that’s what this is all about.” He rolled over and put his hands behind his head, a grin stretched across his face.

She rolled to face him.

“What are talking about?”

“You’re jealous.”

“Ugh, if you say so.”

She turned away from him again, pissed beyond belief.

“There is no use hiding it, baby. You are jealous.”

“I have no reason to be jealous of you, Spike.”

His jaw clenched and he jerked her onto her back. She had never seen this side of him, the wild look in his eyes was almost frightening.

“Oh really?”

She looked him square in the eye.

“Really.”

His teeth clenched and his nostrils flared.

“Fine.”

He jerked away and rose from the bed, his feet stomping to the door. He never looked back at her and she flinched as the door slammed.

She threw her head back against the pillow. God, she hated him. She shook her head. She didn’t hate anything about him and that was the problem. Everything he did, touched her in some way. Because as much as he was an arrogant prick, he was also a tender hearted gentleman. He loved with his whole heart and he straight with you. There wasn’t two sides to Spike, what you see is what you get. He could cut you to the bone and then spend hours crying and begging your forgiveness.

“Damn it!” She punched her pillow.

She had just made a resolution not five minutes ago to forget about him and now she was craving him more than ever.

She got up and made her way to the door listening for any sounds outside. She pulled the door opened and picked around the corner. Lorne and Lynden were sound asleep in Lorne’s bed. She giggled to herself. These boys were so crazy. Ken and Lynn were sound asleep downstairs in their cave. It still made her laugh that they had turned their basement into a huge master bedroom. But it gave Dru, Lorne, and Spike free control of the second floor, so it all worked out.

She jerked back into Dru’s room as the door to Spike’s flew open. She heard him stop in the doorway.

“Damn it, damn it, damn it…” She muttered.

She had been spotted.

She turned and made a bee line for Dru’s bed. She pulled the blankets to her chin, listening as he tip toed down the hall.

She strained to hear him and froze as the bed dipped behind her.

“I saw you peeking, Possum.”

“Oh, that? I thought I heard Dru.”

“Mm hmm. Tell me another one, sweet cheeks.”

“Okay, Lorne.”

“Ooh, got a jonesing for the other brother now?”

She rolled to face him.

“Fuck you.”

“I wish.” He ran his tongue across teeth.

She closed her eyes as desire shot straight through her. She rolled over once again.

“Keep dreaming.”

He rolled close and whispered in her ear.

“Every night.”

He pulled her hair away from her neck and kissed the soft skin he exposed.

“Mmm.”

“Yeah." He kissed her ear. "You know you like it.”

Her resolve slipped away as anger from earlier swept through her. She rolled to face him and jerked his lips to hers.

Yeah, she did like it.

And he was hers.

He grunted against her lips, his hands flying over her body squeezing and caressing.

She pulled him on top of her, her legs wrapping around his waist.

He pulled away from her lips and nibbled her ear.

“My little jealous vixen.”

She rolled them over and sat astride him, her hand fisting in his shirt.

“I’m not jealous of you.”

She grabbed then neck of his shirt and pulled with all the strength in her tiny body, ripping it down the middle.

His eyes were wild with lust and he tried to roll her back over. She pushed him down against the bed, the headboard hitting the wall.

“Be. Still.”

His hands clenched as she kissed him soundly on the lips, then trailing down his chest with warm swipes of her tongue.

“Oh God.”

Her tongue swirled around his nipple, making his hips buck against her.

“Fuck!”

She sucked it into her mouth her hand trailing down to his crotch. She cupped him through his pajama bottoms, sucking hard.

“Oh Fuck, Buffy… Unh…”

She had never actually had her hands on his package, so she was momentarily shocked at the size of it.

She smiled and sat up. She was fixing to turn his world upside down.

“What are you- Don’t stop!” He was panting hard, sweat beading on his brow.

She smiled coyly and kissed him chastely on the lips.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m gonna take care of you.”

She gave him a wicked smile and scooted down the bed until she straddled his knee’s.

He let out a ragged breath and threw his head back against the pillow. God, just seeing her down there was about to send him through the roof.

“How far have you ever gone with a girl, Spikey?”

“What?”

She licked her lips and ran her finger slightly under the elastic of his pants, popping it against his stomach.

“How far have you ever gone with a girl?”

His cheeks flushed and he threw is head back against the pillow.

“You would know!”

She didn’t even try to act surprised, she knew that she was his first in many things. And even though she had some experience with the opposite sex, he was her first in a lot of things also. Because in truth, Buffy didn’t know where this sex kitten side of her had come from. She had gone down on Riley, but she had only done it to please him. But this? Pleasing Spike was such a turn on. Watching him twist and contort in pleasure gave her such a high. Thank God for Cosmo and their love of bedroom tricks.

“Poor baby.”

He scoffed and threw his hand over his eyes.

She jerked his bottoms down and froze.

“Dear God.”

He sat up straight, nearly knocking her to the floor.

“What are you doing?”

She regained her composure and gave him a wicked smile.

“Now you’re gonna be a blushing virgin?”

“Fuck you, Buffy.”

“I wish.”

His mouth shot open and she gave him a sly wink.

She reached out and took him firmly in her hands, jumping a bit when he moaned and thrust against her.

“Oh God!”

“Just lay back and relax.”

He nodded jerkily and lay back, although his body was tense.

She smiled and licked her lips, this was gonna be good.

“Oh my God- Unh… Oh Fuck!!”

Buffy swallowed as he erupted in her mouth. Bless his heart, he barely lasted thirty seconds.

She wiped her mouth and pulled his bottoms back over him. She smiled as he drowsily looked at her, a smile gracing his lips.

“That was- fuck.”

His head fell back against the pillow and she rolled over next to him.

“Good?”

“Mmm.”

She laughed and rolled onto her back, squealing when he jumped up.

“Let’s go.”

“What?”

“Come on. I’m not fucking you on my sister’s bed.”

His crude words made reality begin to slither back into her mind.

“Spike, no. This was too much, I can’t-”

He picked her up and jostled her when she tried to escape. He made quick time to the door and held her tight while she squirmed.

“You better hush if you don’t want them to wake up.”

She froze as they passed Lorne’s room and grunted when he dropped her onto his bed, before going back to make sure his door was locked. He turned back to her and sauntered back to the bed.

“Alright, where were we?”

He made to kiss her and she pulled her head back, turning away from him.

He fell back against the bed with a sigh.

“What now?”

“Spike-”

He sat up and looked at her.

“Not five minutes ago you had my dick in your mouth! And now you’re- is there some kind of switch somewhere?” He tugged at her shirt, pretending to look for one.

She couldn’t help but giggle as she twisted away from him.

“I’m serious, Spike.”

“I’m serious too! One minute you’re all, “We can’t, we can’t!” and the next it’s “Take me now, you big hunk of man meat!”

She rolled her eyes and lay back on the bed.

“I know.”

He lay beside her and snuggled up to her. She smiled and ran her fingers through his curls.

“This is wrong.”

“Why?” His hot breath tickled her skin.

“You know why.”

“It’s gonna be alright.”

“How? If somebody finds out-”

“Nobody is gonna find out.” He sat up and looked at her. “It’s just me and you, Spike and Buffy, same as always.” She gave him a look. “Well, maybe not same as always, but you know what I mean.”

“I don’t want you to hate me.”

“Why would I hate you?”

“Spike, these things- stuff like this never works out. I don’t want to lose what we have. I don’t know if I want to change the way things are.”

“It’s a little late for that.”

She sighed and closed her eyes.

“I know.”

He put his hand under her chin and turned her to face him.

“I will never hate you, Buffy.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do.” He kissed her softly. “Never.” He rested his forehead against hers.

“Promise?”

“’Til the end of the world.”

She softly kissed him and tried to block the feelings running through her. This was too close. It wasn’t supposed to be this- intimate.

He pulled away and rested his forehead against hers once again.

“Now can we fuck?”

She laughed and shoved him back against the bed.

Leave it to him. At least now those feelings were gone.

“No. Not tonight. And I don’t know, maybe not ever.”

“You’re joking right?”

“No, Spike. I told you and that- fucking will change everything.”

He nodded and trailed his hand up her leg.

“Can we do something else?”

She smiled and pulled him on top of her.

“You better believe it.”


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buffy woke to the slam of the front door.

She groggily looked around before noticing the supremely male body wrapped around her.

“Shit!”

She looked at the clock, 1:30 in the morning. Dru was home.

“Shit!”

She jumped from the bed, listening for Dru’s footsteps. She sighed as they trailed into what she hoped was the kitchen.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid…”

She could not believe that she had fallen asleep in Spike’s room. Two months ago it would have been nothing out of the ordinary and if she was found tonight nothing would be thought of it. But her guilty mind was running rampant.

“Where you goin’?”

“Dru’s home.”

“Mm.”

He rolled over and fell right back asleep.

She opened the door and tip toed down the stairs, turning the corner and slamming into Dru.

“God!”
She smiled sheepishly.

“Sorry, Dru.”

“You scared the shit out of me.”

They turned and made their way up the stairs.

“Sorry again.”

“Everybody asleep?”

“Yeah.”

Dru opened the door to Lorne’s room and smiled at their sleeping forms. Buffy’s brow furrowed as her eyes lingered on one a little longer than necessary.

Dru shut the door with a smile and headed into her own room, leaving a puzzled Buffy in the hallway.


____________________________________________________________________________________


“Siz!!”

Buffy opened the bathroom door and listened as Lynden ran up the steps. He stopped at the doorway, watching as she flipped her hair upside down for the blow dryer.

“Come on! We gotta go!”

She turned the dryer off and smoothed her hair down, flipping the bathroom light off and heading to her room.

“I know, Lynden.”

“Well come on!”

She grabbed her purse and made her way down the stairs, following a running Lynden to her car.

“What are you and Dru gonna do?”

Buffy shrugged. “Probably just come back here and wait for you guys to call. We’re so pathetic. Nah, we might go guy hunting.”

Buffy watched as a dark cloud seemed to roll over Lynden’s good mood.

“Is there a guy that Dru likes?”

Buffy turned back to the road. Things were starting to make a little more sense now. It seemed as though another Howard had ensnared another Summers.

“Why?”

“Just wondering.”

She nodded and looked back to the road.

“Oh my God! You’ll never believe what happened!”

Buffy smiled and shook her head.

“What?”

“Spike and Harmony are going out.”

Buffy slammed on her brakes, screeching to a halt, narrowly missing the car stopped at the light.

“What?”

“Damn, Buffy! Learn how to fucking drive!” Lynden put his hand over his racing heart, leaning his head back against the seat.

“When did this happen?”

“Today.”

She turned back to the road, her hands gripping the steering wheel. Tears came to her eyes, but she didn’t let them fall. Why should she cry? He wasn’t her boyfriend, he wasn’t her anything. They had no commitment. He just held her in his arms, softly kissing her while she drifted to sleep occasionally. Why should she cry?

She pulled into the Howard’s driveway, slammed the car into park and waited for Lynden to get out.

“Aren’t you coming?”

She jerkily shook her head.

“Tell Dru I’ll call her later. Call me when the banquet is over and I’ll come get you.”

“Are you alright?“ Lynden looked at her.

She gave a small sarcastic laugh.

“I’m fine.”

He nodded and got out of the car. She rolled the window down and yelled his name, halting his trek to the door.

“I’m only picking you up, you got that? No one else.”

She rolled up the window and screeched out of the driveway, leaving her confused brother watching her from the lawn.
______________________________________________________________________

“That mother fucker! That low down, son of a bitch bastard!” Buffy hit her fist against the dashboard with every curse she uttered.

She threw her head back against the seat, cursing the tears that tried to well in her eyes. She shook her head, a laugh bubbling in her throat. What the fuck was wrong with her? This was Spike! A fifteen year old, what did she expect. This was what was going to happen since the beginning. He would find somewhere else to find his pleasure and she would move on as well.

Why did she feel like she couldn’t move at all?

“This is ridiculous.”

She sat up and started her car, pulling back onto the road. She had been parked at the beach, watching the waves crash against the sand. The water was so blue, so perfect. It reminded her of his eyes. The way emotion darkened them, the way they shone in the light as he looked at her. She looked away, concentrating on the road.

She glanced in the rearview mirror. She knew this would happen. Why dwell on it? She was a pretty girl she could have anyone she wanted.

Or so it had seemed.

______________________________________________________________________

She pulled into the driveway, paying no attention to the strange car parked beside Dru’s.

Dru met her at the door, a concerned look on her face.

“Where did you go?”

She smiled and passed Dru, making her way into the house.

“I’ve been trying to call you, Buff. Where’s your phone?”

“Dead battery.”

“What’s wrong, sis?”

Buffy sighed and looked at her. What was she supposed to say to that?

“Nothing. Long day.”

Dru smiled and nodded.

“Drusilla?”

Buffy turned toward the voice coming from the kitchen. Her brow furrowed and she looked at the sly smirk on Dru’s face.

“Who is that?” Buffy mouthed.

“Come here! I want you to meet someone.”

Buffy watched as a tall shadow appeared in the doorway seconds before the stranger appeared.

“Buffy, this is my cousin. Angel.”

__________________________________________________________________________________


Spike sighed and glanced at his brother, but Lorne was to busy chatting it up with some of the many girls that showed up in support of him. He looked to Lynden, who was leaned back in a chair against the wall. He needed someone to rescue him from the blonde mass of bubbliness attached to his arm. What in God’s name had inspired him to ask this idiot out.

He smiled as he thought of the exact reason that he had asked Harmony Kendall to be his “girlfriend”.

Another blonde, but this one he didn’t mind being attached to. Maybe it was childish and he would pay dearly for it, but he just couldn’t resist. He just had to know what her reaction would be. He hoped it would be one like the night of the football game.

“Spikey?”

He turned his attention back to Harmony, cringing at just the sight of her. She wasn’t quite as hot as he used to think. Her eyes were too blue, her hair to bright, and her nose wasn’t crooked at all.

“Harm, I don’t think this is gonna work out.”

Her expression was priceless. Fish is in the ocean couldn’t make a better face.

“We’ve only been together five hours!” She screeched.

“I know. It felt like forever though.” He turned and walked away, listening as the rest of the cheerleaders followed a sobbing Harmony to the bathroom.

He walked up and kicked the leg of Lynden’s chair.

“Wake up. Call Buffy and tell her to come on, I’m ready to go.”

Lynden sat his chair upright, his eyes scanning the gym.

“Where’s your girlfriend?”

“What girlfriend?” He said with a smirk.

Lynden laughed and stood up.

“You’re an asshole, man.”

“Yeah.” He laughed. “Call Buff, tell her to get her ass over here.”

Lynden scratched the back of his neck, his eyes anywhere but on Spike.

“Yeah, about that. She said she was coming to get ME. As in me only.”

Spike’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“What? You only?”
Lynden laughed, scuffing the floor with his shoe.

“Yeah, that’s what she said. I think she‘s pissed about something. I don‘t know though.”

“Well, what happened?”

Lynden sat back down and Spike sat in the chair beside him.

“I don’t know man, we were driving down the road, just talking and then BAM!” He slapped his hands together, “She nearly rear ends a damn car stopped at a redlight!”

“What were you talking about?”

“I don’t know, just stuff that happened today.”

Spike’s stomach dropped.

“What stuff that happened today?”

“You know, school, stuff like that. Oh! And I told her about you and Harmony.”

Spike turned and leaned back in his chair.

Oh fuck.

Maybe his brilliant plan had a minor flaw.

“Well call her anyway, see if she’s calmed down any.”

Lynden gave him a look.

“You have met my sister right?”

Spike rolled his eyes.

“Just call her.”

“Alright, alright.”

Lynden pulled out his cell and punched in Buffy’s number. Spike tried to listen to what was being said, but the gym was just to loud. Lynden pressed end and put the phone back into his pocket.

“What did she say?”

Lynden got up and made his way to Lorne, Spike tagging right along behind him.

“What did she say?”

“Hold on.”

They made their way to Lorne, pulling him away from his groupies.

“Come on, Dru’s on her way.”

“Dru?” Spike and Lorne spoke at the same time.
“Why Dru? I thought you called Buffy’s phone.” Spike asked as they made their way to the doors.

“I did. Dru answered.”

“Why?”

They stopped under the awning, watching the cars for Dru’s little red neon.

“I don’t know, she said Buffy was busy.”

“Doing what?”

Lynden sat down against the brick column, looking up at Spike.

“Why so many questions?”

Spike shrugged. “Just curious.”

“She said she was talking to somebody, Angel or something.”

Spike froze.

“Fuck.”

Shit, shit, shit.

Spike leaned his head against the window, his eyes watching the passing scenery. This was bad. This was beyond bad. He cut his eyes to Dru in the rearview mirror cursing her under his breath.

What on earth possessed her to leave Buffy alone with Angel of all people?

“Why is Angel at our house?” Lorne spit the name out with venom. “I hate him.”

Dru sighed and maneuvered the car through traffic.

“Because he called and asked if he could come see us. What was I supposed to say? No?”

“Yes!” Spike and Lorne both yelled from the back seat.

Lynden snickered and turned to look at them.

“Just who is this Angel?”

“An idiot that’s who he is.” Lorne kicked against the floorboard with his foot.

“No, he’s a FUCKING idiot.” Spike growled from beside him.

Lynden just laughed and turned back to the front.

“What happened to both of you? Angel used to be the grandest thing that ever graced our steps. Why do you hate him so much?”

Lorne and Spike looked out their windows respectively.

They would die before they told the real truth of their malice for their older cousin. How he was their idol, their hero, and how one day he just didn’t have time for “children” anymore.

Spike closed his eyes. Angel’s absence had hurt him the most. He had loved Angel as a brother. He had taught him the ways of American football, had been his confidant and friend. But now Angel was the captain of the UC Sunnydale football team and his shit absolutely did not stink.

But Spike wasn’t worried about past grudges right now. Right now, he just wanted to get to the house and get his cousin away from HIS Buffy.

His fists clenched together.

She was HIS damn it! Everyone at Sunnydale High knew that, even the seniors knew that no one messed with Lynden Summers older sister. The few that did spout of about how hot she was or what they would like to do to her, were too scared to even utter her name now. Everyone knew that Buffy Summers was the property of Lynden, Lorne, and Spike. Of course, Buffy had bewitched a few of their other friends who had fallen under her spell, and they too were ready to fight for her honor. Spike loved to talk about her, one of his passions in life was aggravating Buffy. Her loved to see her cheeks flush and her green eyes narrow. He never meant anything he said to her, he just liked to get her going. Everyone also knew that while Spike could say whatever he wanted about her, he would put his fist in someone’s mouth if they dared to utter a foul word about her.

Because in Spike’s eyes, Buffy was his.

And he would make sure that Tall, Dark, and Forehead clearly understood that.




_____________________________________________________________________________

“So you go to UC Sunnydale?”

Buffy asked as Angel took a seat beside her on the couch. She watched his tall frame sink into the cushions, there really was no two ways about it.

Angel was hot.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Buffy smiled and giggled.

“What about you?”

She looked away and stared at the floor. She hated telling people where her education was coming from, she felt that they looked down on her somehow.

“I uh- I take online classes.” She turned back to face him, gauging his reaction.

“Really? That’s awesome. I wish I had the dedication to take some of my classes online. I’ve heard that they can be really tough.”

Buffy smiled and nodded her head, he actually seemed a bit impressed.

“Yeah, some of them can be a real bitch.” He laughed along with her. “But I have to work, so everything works out for me.”

Angel nodded and a bit of sympathy radiated from his gaze.

“Yeah. I came over one night to see the boys and your mom was here.”

Buffy’s brow furrowed.

“My mom was here?”

Angel nodded and looked away.

“Yeah, I think it was about a week or so ago. The boys were at your house, I think.”

Buffy remembered that day, the day her father had cut off Lynden’s insurance. She jumped a bit as Angel took her hand, watching his eyes soften.

“Buffy, I don’t really know you and you probably don’t want to hear it, but-” He squeezed her hand a bit, rubbing soft circles with his thumb. “I’m really sorry that all of this happened to you and your family.”

Instant tears came to her eyes and she fought hard to swallow them back down, nodding her head.

“I talked with your mom for a while and she told me some of the stuff you’ve went through. “ He shook his head, a look of distaste crossing his face. “I just don’t understand how anyone could do those things, how someone could just throw their family away.”

A tear rolled down her cheek and Angel instantly regretted bringing the subject up.

“Oh, Buffy. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have- I never meant to make you cry.”

Buffy wiped the tear away and shook her head.

“No. No, it’s alright. I just- I haven’t talked about in a while, you know?” He nodded his head. “I don’t know what happened either. I- I loved him. More than anything.”

Tears began to roll down her cheeks and Angel took her into his arms. She latched onto him and cried tears that had been hidden inside her for too long.

He kissed he hair, whispering softly against the golden strands.

“You’re an incredible person, Buffy. To put your life on hold for your family. You’re mom told me about all that you’ve done. I think you’re amazing.”

She burrowed further into him, crying harder. The words were a soothing balm against her soul. She finally pulled away from him, watching a comforting smile cross his face as he wiped her tears away.

“Feel better?”

She smiled and nodded.

“Thank you.”

He smiled and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear.

“Anytime.”

He turned and found a box of tissues on the table, handing her one.

“Thanks.” She watched his face. “You know, I think you’re pretty incredible. I mean, you don’t even know me and yet- I feel like we’ve known each other forever.”

He smiled and nodded.

“Maybe this is the beginning to a great friendship.”

“Yeah.“ She smiled and took his hand. “I’d like that.”

“Dru, can’t this wait?!?” Spike yelled from the back as Dru pulled into the grocery store parking lot.

“No! I’ve told you a hundred times, mom and dad said to buy groceries and for us to cook. They don’t want us eating only junk while their away.”

Spike kicked the seat and threw his head back.

“Can’t you take me home first?”

“Spike, I’m already here! It would be wasting gas to drive all the way home and come back. I’m not gonna be long.”

“Why do you want to get home so bad? Angel’s there remember?”

Spike’s teeth clenched.

That was the exact reason why he wanted to get home.

His heart was pounding, he hand to get home. He was contemplating how far of a walk it was when Lorne said his name.

“Why did you ask Harmony out and then break up with her the same day?”

Spike shrugged.

“Have you ever met Harmony?”

Lorne just laughed.

“Yeah. But you asked her out.”

“I was an idiot. It was a moment of pure insanity.”

“You thought she might give you some, didn’t you? Did she prove you wrong? Is that why you dumped her?”

Spike looked at Lorne and then back out the window, his brow furrowed.

He hadn’t even thought about that. His only reason for asking Harmony out was to make Buffy jealous, he hadn’t even thought of trying to get her in bed. In retrospect, Harmony had been trying to get him to sneak out with her all night and his only thoughts were Buffy. Here was one of the hottest girls in school practically throwing herself at him and his only thoughts were of making Buffy jealous.

Well.


______________________________________________________________________________


“I wonder where they are?”

Buffy looked at the clock, the school wasn’t that far from the Howard’s house.

“Dru said she had to stop by the store earlier.” Angel told her.

“Oh.”

She leaned back into the couch, turning to face Angel.

“So-” She clapped her hands together. “What do you want to talk about?”

Angel laughed and shook his head.

“I don’t know. What do you want to talk about?”

Buffy shrugged.

“Well, do you have a boyfriend?”

An image swam behind her eyes, but she stomped it down, turning to face Angel with a big fake smile.

“Nope. Girlfriend?”

Her looked away, but not before Buffy could see the sadness etched across his face.

“No.”

“But there is somebody.”

He turned to look at her, his eyes glassy. He nodded his head, his voice small.

“Yeah. There is.”

She turned to sit sideways on the couch facing him.

“Wanna talk about it? I had my share time earlier.”

He smiled and turned to face her, also sitting sideways on the cushions. He shrugged his shoulders, picking at a string on the bottom of his frayed jeans.

“Not much to talk about, I guess. I love her, but- everything is so complicated.”

“What’s her name?”

“Darla.”

“That’s pretty.”

He smiled, love shining through his eyes.

“Yeah, it suits her.”

“Does she know how you feel?”

He shrugged. “I’m the captain of the football team, Buffy. I have certain responsibilities that I have too-”

“And she’s a nobody.”

His eyes shot to her face as understanding creeped into her. He sighed and nodded his head, looking away.

“But you love her, right? Isn’t that all that matters?”

He covered his face with his hands, his fingers.

“It’s not that easy.”

“Why not?”

He wiped his hands across his face, bringing them down into his lap.

“You don’t understand the pressure I’m under. God, Buffy! I just- It’s just like this thing with Lorne and Spike. I love those boys. Just like they were my own little brothers and now? They hate me.” His eyes became watery and he looked away.

“Why?”

“Because they think that I threw them away. That I didn’t want to spend time with them anymore. And that’s not what happened, Buffy.”

“Well, what happened?”

“I’m on a football scholarship. One slip and I’m gone.” He shook his head, running his fingers through his hair. “My dad, God, my dad- I can’t do anything. “

His voice went deep, with a slight Irish lilt.

“ ‘ You’re job is on the field! Not out here dicking around with a bunch of kids!’ ”

He shook his head and flopped back against the couch.

“Have you tried to explain that to them?”

“They won’t listen to me. I had to sneak over here the other day to see them and they were gone. It’s ridiculous, Buffy.” He sat up and faced her once again. “I’m twenty years old, a man, I should be able to make my own decisions!”

“Then why don’t you? Are you afraid of him?”

He looked away from her.

“You’re afraid of him aren’t you?”

“No.” He shook his head firmly. “It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“I’m afraid of disappointing him.”

She smiled and took his hands.

“He’s your father, Angel. He may get mad at you or not agree with the choices you make, but I’m sure that he’ll be proud of you, no matter what.” She shook her head, a sarcastic laugh bubbling from her throat. “I know that might sound crazy coming from me, but it sounds like he just wants what’s best for you. Or what he thinks is best for you.”

He nodded his head.

“Maybe you should try talking to him. Are you in a dorm?”

“No, I’m at home.”

“Yeah, that would make more sense with the controlling part.”

He laughed with her.

“Yeah.”

“And this Darla?” He looked up at her once again. “Don’t let it get away. Especially not because of what you think other people may think. Like you said, you’re the captain of the football team, a leader. You do have pressure on you, but don’t let it control you. Listen to your heart, not other people.”

Her own words echoed in her ears. She could see Spike’s face, the way his eyes twinkled when he looked at her.

Angel brushed his hand against her cheek, bringing her back to reality.

“Thank you.”

She smiled at him.

“Now we’re even.”

He laughed and pulled her into his arms. She tightened her arms around him and closed her eyes. She had found a good friend in Angel.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?”

Shit.

Buffy turned towards the voice, ice blue eyes freezing her with their glare. His jaw was clenched, his hands in fists at his sides, she sucked in a harsh breath at the emotions flitting across his face.

“Hey, Spike.” Angel stood from the couch and took a step toward him.

Buffy tore away from the staring contest she was having with Spike, to look up at Angel. She couldn’t help the small smile that touched her lips, Angel was genuinely happy to see Spike. The love he held for the younger man was evident on his face. She heard a sharp crack and turned back to find that Spike’s eyes had never left her face and he had saw the smile. She looked down to see his knuckles turn white and heard them crack against his palm.

“I guess I’ll just leave you two alone.”

He turned and stormed up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

Buffy sighed, closing her eyes as the door to Spike’s room slammed. The pictures on the wall shook and she opened her eyes to make sure none hit the ground. She turned back to Angel, gauging his reaction. He was looking up the stairs, sadness in his gaze.

“I guess it would be better if I just left.”

Buffy turned to the door as Lorne, Lynden, and Dru walked through with groceries.

“Where did he go?” Lorne fumed as he took the groceries to the kitchen.

Buffy meekly pointed upstairs watching Lorne take the steps two at a time.

“Spike!! You lazy little bastard!!!”

Spike’s only response was to crank his stereo as high as it would go.

“I’m gonna head out.”

Buffy turned back to Angel, watching as he enveloped Dru in a hug.

“Don’t forget where we live again.”

He chuckled and ruffled her hair, grinning as she shrieked and headed for the mirror.

Angel turned to Buffy and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Thank you for everything, Buffy.” He whispered softly in her ear.

“Your welcome.”

He released her, giving her one last smile before walking out the door.

Buffy stood staring at the door long after it had closed. She closed her eyes and sighed, she could feel a headache developing.

“So, you and Angel, huh?”

Her eyes shot open and she turned to find Spike at the top of the stairs.

Her eyes narrowed.

That little bastard. How dare he? How can he stand looking at her in self righteous glory, when he just came back from a date?! Her blood began to boil.

She shrugged her shoulders, looking up at him from beneath her lashes.

“He’s alright. I guess he’s my type. You know, him being a man and all.”

She watched his reaction and a little evil part of her rejoiced when he flinched at the word man.

Spike turned on his heel and went straight into his room, slamming the door.

She jumped as something bounced against it.

“Bloody fucking bitch!”

She dropped her head and sat down on the bottom step. She had really done it this time, he had gone into full Cockney.

A part of her couldn’t help but to feel justified. He had asked someone out for fuck sake!! Took her to a dance! What right did he have to get mad at her for anything?

“That son of a bitch. I’ll take his precious football and shove it right down his throat…”

His words were muffled through his door and the beating music, but she knew he was yelling. And she just couldn’t help the small smile that appeared.

He was jealous.

Little Mr. Shove it in my face that I’m jealous, was getting a dose of his own medicine.

She stood up, glancing at his door before making her way to the kitchen, mumbling under her breath.

“How’s it taste, Spikey?”



Spike shoved the stuff of his nightstand, smiling as the cordless phone hit the floor.

Baby wants to play, huh?

Well, two could play this particular game.

He dug through the trash on the floor, finally finding the slip of paper he was looking for. He dialed the number, smirking into the receiver.

“Hello, Harm…”



Buffy walked into the kitchen and stopped short in the doorway, taking in the scene before her. Her eyes widened and she shrunk back into the shadow of the hallway so she wouldn’t be seen.

Dru’s back was against the counter, with Lynden’s long arms firmly wrapped around her. They were kissing with such passion that a part of Buffy felt envious. While her feminine side felt envious, her sisterly side was screaming for blood.

That was her little brother in there!

Her little buz in there kissing, groping, and-

“Oh my God.”

Buffy turned away from the scene and made her way through the hall to the foyer. She sat down on the bottom step of the stair well, the image of her little brother and best friend rounding second base burning in her mind.

“What the hell?” She thought aloud.

Dru and Lynden. Lynden and Drusilla.

She just couldn’t wrap her mind around it. She could feel her blood begin to boil, how could Dru keep this from her? That was her little brother for God’s sake!

She stood to make her way to the kitchen, firmly intent on letting Dru have it, when she stopped cold in her tracks.

Her eyes widened and she doubled over in silent laughter. She leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor while her laughs turned to tears.

She buried her head in her knees and just had herself a good cry. She cried until she started laughing again and then she wanted to cry because she was laughing at herself.

Who the fuck was she to be throwing stones? She was doing the same fucking thing with Dru’s little brother. In fact, her situation was a little more fucked up than theirs. Dru was only three years and a couple of months older then Lynden. He was about to turn sixteen, but he was already more mature than most men in their thirties.

She was five fucking years older than Spike, who was she to be judging anyone?

Buffy looked toward the kitchen, she could hear soft words and kisses being exchanged.

They would probably be able to have a relationship.

She glanced up the stairs as another tear fell.

Buffy sat against the wall until she heard Lynden and Dru walk down the hall. She scrambled to her feet and wiped her face clean of any remaining tears. She put on a bright smile as they walked in the living and room, watching as they exchanged guilty glances.

“Hey, siz.”

She smiled at Lynden.

“Hey, buz.”

He looked at her face and then at the small tear drop size stains on her shirt.

“Have you been crying?”

She looked surprised and shook her head.

“Nope. Mm-mm, not at all.”

She clapped her hands in front of her and looked at the floor.

“I know you’ve been crying I can see the tea-“

They looked up as Spike came down the steps, buttoning up a shirt and whistling a tune under his breath.

“Oh, Buffy?”

Buffy was instantly on alarm, something was definitely wrong here.

“Yeah?” She narrowed her eyes at him while he fixed his hair in the hall mirror.

“Could you do me a favor?”

“What?”

“Can you run me over to my girlfriend’s house?”

Buffy felt like she had been hit by a truck. But she stood proud, holding her face in an impassive stare not even letting her eyes mist or her lips tremble as pain shot through her.

“Sure.”

She turned to get her car keys, while a stunned Lynden sputtered in the back ground.

“But I thought that-“

“I know, I thought the party was cancelled too. But nope, still on apparently.”

Lynden turned to Dru, his bewildered look matching her own.

“What the fuck is he talking about?”

Dru just shrugged.

Buffy went out the door and went straight to her car on auto pilot. She barely even noticed the rain that was being to fall. She watched as Spike strutted out the door,a flash of lightning illuminating his cocky face. He climbed inside giving her a smirk.

She stared at him before giving him a smirk of her own, punching the gas and throwing him back against the seat.

“Oh, you might want to put on your seatbelt.” She said sweetly,giving a him a saccharin smile.

She wasn’t hurt anymore. Oh, it was quiet the contrary actually.

Buffy was pissed the fuck off.

How dare that rat bastard, how dare he pull shit like this? She wanted to kill him. She
wanted to open the door and push him out as she sped down the road. She gripped the steering wheel so hard that she began to shake.

“Something wrong, Buffy?”

That was it.

She slammed on the breaks, the car skidding to a stop on the wet road. The seatbelt was the only thing that saved Spike from being thrown against the dashboard. He looked at her, his eyes as big as saucers.

“Get out.”

“Buff-“

“GET OUT!”

Spike looked at her. He could see the pain in her face, the tears she was trying to hide. Her entire body was shaking with anger and it was his own fucking fault. His own
Childish immaturity.

He felt guilt pouring over him like the rain that was pouring on the car.

He looked away from her and spoke softly.

“Just go okay?” He looked at her as she was about to protest. “Will you please just go and get out of the middle of the road before we get killed?”

Buffy looked ahead of her and realized that they were in fact in the middle of the road. She took her foot off the break and began down the road.

“Just go back to the house, Buffy.”

She shook her head.

“I’m going home, I could give two shits about what you do.”

She pulled into her driveway and slammed out of the car, running through the pouring rain towards the door.

Spike grabbed her midway through the yard and then ducked from the well aimed punch she sent toward his head.

“Leave me the fuck alone, Spike!”

She jerked away from him and turned back toward the house, already soaked to the bone.

“Bloody hell, Buffy! Will you just liste-“

She spun around and he took several steps back as she advanced on him.

“No I will not fucking listen! I am sick of your shit! I am twenty FUCKING years old, I am not gonna put up with your childish bull shit!” She turned back toward the house.

“Ah, and there it is, pet. The reason for all of this.”

She turned back to him.

“What are you talking about?”

He spread his arms and walked toward her.

“’I’m twenty FUCKING years old!’” Her eyes narrowed as he walked toward her, his voice a mimic of her own. “That’s the whole reason we’re in this predicament.”

She ran at him and shoved him with all her might.

“You son of a bitch! That has nothing to do with this!”

“Yes it does and you know i-“

“You bastard. You fucking bastard.” She let out a humorless laugh as she shook her head. She looked at the ground for a minute and then back at him.

“You’re right.” His brow furrowed. “This is about age.”

Her eyes narrowed and she advance on him once again, her finger firmly imbedded in his chest.

“This about you acting- you know what? You’re not even acting your age! You’re acting like a fucking ten year old! This is all your fault, you damn idiot!” She pounded her fist against his chest.

“You are the one that got a fucking girlfriend, you are the one that has pulled all of this stupid shit, Spike! Not me.” She turned and made her way to the porch. “Not me.”

She stopped at the steps and shook her head, turning back to him.

“What happened Spike? What happened to you? What happened to the man that I shared all those times with? Because, I tell ya, I sure as hell don’t know.”

He stood in the rain, watching as she shook her head again. She was soaked through, her hair in wild tangles around her face, but he had never seen anything as beautiful as she was in that moment.

He began walking toward the porch.

“I’m sorry, Buffy.” His voice had taken a deep timbre and when she shivered, she knew it wasn’t from the cold of the rain.

She shook her head and backed up against the door.

“It doesn’t matter now. It’s too late.”

He trapped her against the door and brought his face level with hers, his eyes boring into her.

“I’m sorry.” He covered her mouth as she began to protest. “ I want to be that man again, Buffy.”

His hand fell away from her mouth.

“I want to be your man.”

Buffy looked up into his eyes, her breath stolen.

She recognized the man standing in front of her.

Cold rain dripped down his face, his clothes seemingly glued to his skin, but it was his eyes that held her captive. As blue as the ocean, emotions swirling inside them like a storm across the sea.

He brought his hand to her face and gently wiped away a tear she hadn’t realized had fallen.

“Let me be your man, Buffy.” He wrapped his hand around her slender neck and brought her forehead to rest against his own. She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of him.

“Please, baby…” His voice was thick with emotion, the soft words barely audible over the sound of rain pelting on the tin roof of the porch.

She pulled back and opened her eyes, watching his lips tremble in the cold. The faint thought of both of them getting sick popped into her mind.

She looked down and realized his whole body was trembling. She turned and fiddled with the key, trying to unlock the door, babbling as she did.

“You need to get out of those clothes. You’ll catch pneumonia and here I am like an idiot blocking the door. Stupid, stupid….” She finally got the door open and started to go through the doorway when he grabbed her hand and turned her to face him.

“It’s not the cold, love.”

Her eyes widened as a small smile appeared on his face. He pulled her tight against his chest, his eyes illuminated as lightning flashed.

“It’s you.”

He pulled her mouth to his own and she melted into his kiss. Never had anything felt so right or so good in all her life. Never had anyone made her forget everything except the feel of his body and the color of his eyes. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he hoisted her up against him and she instantly wrapped her legs around his lean waist. He carried them through the doorway and barely had sense enough to kick the door shut as he passed. Buffy clutched his lips to hers with her hands entangled in his curls; she never wanted him to quit kissing her. She didn’t need to breathe, all she needed was him.

Spike lay her back against the pillows on her bed and pulled his mouth away, a husky chuckle escaping when Buffy followed right after him. She opened her eyes and looked at her bedroom, curious as to how they made it there. She didn’t remember anything, anything except his kiss.

A wet slapping sound drew her attention to the floor, where a soggy black t-shirt now lay. She cut her eyes to Spike, practically salivating at the sight of his naked chest.

“Be a love and get out of those wet clothes, baby.”

Buffy shivered as his voice washed over her, his slight accent and deep timbre causing chill bumps to break out on her skin.

She batted her eyes coyly and got up from the bed, her eyes never leaving his. As seductively as she could Buffy pulled the wet shirt over her head, letting it drop to the ground. His eyes were riveted to her chest and she slowly unclasped her bra, letting it join the growing pile on the floor.

Lightning flashed and thunder shook the house, the room instantly going black. Buffy stood with still her eyes still on Spike, although she couldn’t see him anymore. The room was as dark as midnight and Buffy couldn’t see anything.

Lightning flashed again and she sucked in a breath to find Spike’s face inches from her own. He claimed her mouth in another kiss as thunder rattled the pictures on the wall, picking her up once again and laying her on the bed.

She shook as his hands went to the button of her jeans and she ran her hands through his hair and down his shoulders.

He was shaking as well, his hands jerking at her jeans. He finally rid her of them, her panties going at the same time. He fell between her legs, kissing and sucking on her firm stomach, then trailing up to her breasts. He kissed and licked his way to her neck and she jerked his lips back to hers. His hands ran across her body seemingly scorching her with their touch. She pulled away from him, a load moan escaping her lips. Never had anything felt this good. She needed him; she needed to feel him everywhere. She wrapped her legs around his waist and bucked her hips up against him. Her hands instantly went to the fastenings on his jeans and he thrust against her as her hands brushed against him.

“Take them off.”

He sat up and began jerking at the buttons, rolling over and kicking them off his legs and onto the floor. He rolled back to her and she pulled him on top of her, her lips searching for his in a greedy kiss. She felt like she was going to explode, he surrounded her, but she needed more. She bucked her hips up against him and a moan was ripped from his throat as she ground against his aching erection.

“Fuck, Buffy…”

She ground against him again and he all but stopped, the sensations paralyzing him.

“Please, Spike…” Lightning flashed again and she looked into his face, his beautiful eyes shining in the darkness. She pulled him down to her, his lips barely grazing her own.

“Make love to me.”

He claimed her lips as he claimed her body, pushing inside and filling her to completion. They moaned against each others lips and pulled away to breath, since theirs had been ripped from them.

“Buffy…” He was staring into her face although it was barely visible, the occasional flash of lightning illuminating her.

“Spike, oh…” Never would anything feel as good as this, this was perfection, this was meant to be.

It was too good to last and as he fell into ecstasy she was right with him, panting and moaning his name.

He pushed her damp hair away from her face, a chaste kiss landing on the end of her nose. She smiled and ran her own hand through his curls.

“You mean it’s not too crooked to kiss?”

He rolled over and pulled her on top of him, his arms wrapping around her. He kissed her nose again and she felt his small smile against her skin. They fell asleep in each others arms, the rain pelting on the tin roof.

“Buffy.”

Hot breath was tickling the back of her neck and a sharp ringing was piercing the peaceful sleep Buffy was having. She snuggled further into the warm body that held her tight and nothing was going to disturb her slumber.

“Buffy!”

She jerked upright and brought Spike with her, his arms having been wrapped tightly around her waist. She pushed the tangled hair out of her face and glared at him.

“Wha-”

Her sentence was cut short as she finally realized that her phone was ringing. Loudly.

“Shit.”

She jumped off the bed in search of her pants which held her phone captive in one of the pockets.

Spike lay back against his pillow, a sated smile crossing his face and his blood beginning to simmer hotly beneath his skin as he watched Buffy ramble through the clothes on the floor delightfully naked.

“Hello?”

She jerked the phone to her ear and Spike moaned with appreciation for the bounce it gave her breasts.

“What the hell is going on, Buffy?! We’ve been near frantic since you left, where are you?”

She closed her eyes and cursed herself. She could hear the frantic worry in Dru’s voice. It also didn’t help that Lynden was in the back ground sounding none to happy and demanding to speak to her.

“Shit, Dru. I’m sorry, we got caught up in the rain and we just came to the house. The power went out and we just fell asleep. I am so so sorry.”

She crossed her fingers and prayed that she had invoked the right amount of regret into her spiel.

Dru sighed on the other end.

“It’s alright, we just got worried and freaked because of the storm.”

“I’m sorry. Again.”

“Just as long as you guys are alright, it’s forgiven.”

Buffy looked at Spike and noticed that he was blatantly more than alright.

She looked into his eyes and his wolfish smirk sent her blood into a boil.

“Yeah, we’re fine.”

“Well the rain isn’t gonna let up anytime soon, so I guess we’ll just see you tomorrow.”

Buffy was about to agree when she remembered the scene she had witnessed in the kitchen.

“Dru, where’s Lorne?”

There was a small pause at the other end.

“Uh, oh yeah, he’s at Clay’s house, he’s uh, spending the night over there tonight.”

Buffy’s sisterly side was ready to go through the phone, they were alone over there. Her little brother and her best friend. Alone.

Spike nudged her with his little toe and tried to slip his foot between her thighs.

“Buffy?”

She sighed and stood from the bed her hand going through her hair.

“Yeah, I’m here. Just uh, just keep an eye on the weather okay?” She looked out the window, jumping slightly as the lightning flashed.

“You too. Bye, Sis.”
“Bye.”

She closed the phone and threw it on the window sill.

“Here kitty kitty kitty…”

Buffy snorted and shook her head.

“Come on, come on kitty kitty…”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’m a damn sexy man.”

Buffy turned toward the bed and licked her lips, swinging her hips as she closed in on him.

“Fine, you’re a damn” kiss. “sexy” kiss. “idiot.” kiss.

She squealed with laughter as he grabbed her and rolled her under him.

He was kissing and sucking his way down her neck when she finally got the courage to ask the question.

“Spike?”

“Mmm?” HE continued his quest and cupped his hands around her soft breasts.

“Have you noticed anything weird between Dru and Lynden lately?”

He sucked her nipple into his mouth and gave it a long leisurely suck before releasing it.

“Yeah, they’re doin’ it.”

He was headed for her other breast when she jerked up, nearly knocking him off the bed.

“What?!?”

“Hey, watch the bits and pieces, Blondie. You’ll be wantin’ them in a few minutes.”

She looked as if someone had just hit her in the face with a cold fish.

“What did you say?”

Spike sat down beside her.

“Why do you look so surprised? You had to know something was going on or you wouldn’t have asked.”

“Yeah, but I thought- I mean, I never - damnit to hell!”

He laughed and put his arm around her.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret, Strawberry.” She gave him a look at his use of ridiculous nicknames and he tweeked her nose. “It’s been going on for a while.”

Lightning flashed and Buffy looked out the window.

“Are you alright?”

She looked back to him and gave him a faint smile.

“Yeah. It’s just, he’s my brother, you know?”

Spike nodded his head.

“Yeah, I know.”

Buffy laid her head against his shoulder and gave him a thankful smile.

“You’re being awful calm about this.”

“Yeah, well I really can’t bust his ass for bangin’ my sister, now can I?”

Buffy smiled into his shoulder and moaned when he caressed her breast. He slid his hot mouth down her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

“Because I thoroughly intend on bangin’ his.”

“You’re so romantic, William.”

“I try.”

Buffy giggled as the rain began to pelt against the window.


***********************************************


“God, Spike… Unh! Oh yeah…. Damn, how long- Unh! Oh dear God - can you go for?”

Spike smiled down at her and continued thrusting at a maddening pace.

“I’m a fifteen year old hormone bomb, baby.”

Buffy cringed.

“Could you please not remind me of how old you are?”

He let out a husky laugh and gave her a good thrust.

“Why’s that, love?”

Her s eyes closed and she could feel her entire body tremble at the sound of his husky voice.

“It makes me feel- God, Spike- like a dirty old woman.”

He laughed again and she could feel it all through her body.

“You know you’re not, baby. You’re a dirty girl.”

She squeezed her muscles around him and watched in delight as he shuddered in ecstasy.

“Oh, yeah. You’re daddy’s dirty girl.”

Buffy let out a hoarse scream as her orgasm ripped through her unexpectedly. She held onto Spike as he followed behind her and dropped back against the pillows with him cuddled close.

“That was -”

Buffy smiled and ran her fingers through his curls.

“Yeah, it was.”