I haven’t updated in awhile, but I haven’t stopped writing. In fact, I’ve been writing more than ever (and yes, it’s Spuffy, what else is there really?). I’ve been writing smaller stories for my friends on livejournal -- look it up, http://www.livejournal.com/users/facingthesun/ -- as Christmas presents. There aren’t all done, but I’m going to share them with you now as they are completed.

Thank you for reading. I hope to start working on my WIPs soon. (I don’t know about you, but I miss them).

Happy New Year!

--Jennifer (facingthesun)

(note: not all stories are R/NC17, to see all of them, go to my livejournal or the Spuffy Realm -- http://www.spikeluver.com/SpuffyRealm/index.php -- )

Title: Wants and Needs
Pairing: Season 2 Spike/Buffy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Part I takes place after Passion, Part II takes place at the beginning of I Only Have Eyes for You, and Part III takes place somewhere during Becoming Parts I & II.
Disclaimers: Dialogue borrowed from I Only Have Eyes for You and the Becoming episodes. I own nothing. Thank you to Joss for letting me play without being sued.
Gift for: reciprocity_, who wanted cannon, w/ bite/claim & NC17
Beta’d: yes
Finished: yes

Part I

“You’re late.”

“Nice to see you too. But on second thought, maybe not. You look like you’ve been run over by a semi, Slayer.”

“Keep your voice down.”

“Oh, don’t tell me that your mummy’s home. You couldn’t give her the boot for one night?”

“She wouldn’t leave because she’s worried about me.”

“I see,” Spike said, looking her up and down. Buffy’s face was flushed and her hair was messy. Two blankets were wrapped tightly around her body and he could still hear the chatter of her teeth. “You’re weak, how are you going to get me upstairs?”

“We’ll be in the guest room. Since you’re late we won’t have much time before mom wakes up.”

“She an early riser, or do you want to cuddle after we do the nasty?”

“Spike…just don’t,” Buffy replied, sounding exhausted. “We’re sticking to the plan. We do it, you bite, and then you go. Not a word of this is told to anyone. It dies with us.”

“You know, you’re no fun when you’re on your death bed.”

“If we keep talking, I’ll just be dead.”

“How long do you have?”

“Do you really care?”

“Not really, just wondering how long I should stall if you don’t perk up. You’re currently about as exciting as a box of rocks.”

“You aren’t here so I can give you a good time,” Buffy said, propping herself against the wall and closing her eyes.

“Dizzy, pet?” Spike laughed. “You gonna blow? Should I duck?”

“Let’s get this over with.”
***

Spike scanned the room as Buffy took all the pillows off the queen-sized bed. His eyes narrowed once he noticed the pile of stakes and bottles of holy water on the nightstand.

“I know what you’re thinking, but I’ll keep my word.”

“That doesn’t mean that an hour later that you won’t come gunning for me.”

“You intend on doing the same to me, don’t you?”

Smirking in response, Spike pulled his t-shirt over his head. “Aren’t you gonna turn down the bed?”

“No.”

“We fucking in my chair?”

“Spike.”

“What? It’s a valid question.”

“You just watched me take away the pillows. Why would I do that if I wanted to do it in your wheelchair?”

“How will you be able to get me in bed? You’re gathering a sweat just by forcing yourself to stand up straight.”

“I…you have a point.”

“Of course I do, so get naked, Slayer and let’s get on with it.” He started to tug at the zipper of his pants, but the sound of a discreet sniffle caught him off guard. “What? Bloody hell, you’re going to cry about it now?”

“No.”

“Yes! You’ve got crocodile tears rolling down your cheeks! Your chin is trembling! You blubbering was not part of the plan!”

“I can’t help it. I can’t do this,” Buffy hiccupped between sobs. “I can’t have sex with you. I hate you so much. It’d be humiliating and-and I’m not even sure that I want to live that much anyway.”

“Oh, come on, suck it up! Of course you want to live! You’ve got your whole life ahead of you—an entire life of slaying baddies and, uh...”

“You just don’t want me to die, so you can drain me. You want to heal your legs.”

“Well, yeah.” Spike reached for the Kleenex box that was in the room and he chucked it towards Buffy’s feet. “Do you think that this is some tea party for me? I’m already a laughingstock because of my sodding wheelchair. Add me bedding a Slayer and not killing her afterward into the mix … Have you listened in on the things that your ex honey says about me? I mean, when he’s not balling my Dru--.”

“Angel and Drusilla?”

“Angelus and Drusilla. Why do you think that I want my legs back so much?”

“I just thought--.”

“Well, think about this,” he said, rolling closer and handing her a tissue. “Think about all the birds we’ll kill with this one stone. You’ll be healed, I’ll get healed and as an extra bonus, I’ll help you kill Angel—no, I’ll kill him for you.”

“You’d really do that?”

“The bastard’s been begging for it ever since the day you took his soul. Don’t you want him to die since he killed your Watcher’s lady friend?”

“I didn’t take his soul--.”

“Whatever, baby. Now, why can’t we just suck up our differences and have a good shag? Hell, I’ll even promise to treat you right.”

“Like that’s even possible.”

“I’ll be gentle.”

“Your legs are broken, how rough could it really be?”

“Are you giving me a challenge?” Spike asked with a cocky grin. “Come on, agree to it. You have to. You don’t have much time left. You need me. I’m offering an olive branch here. Decline my offer and you’ll have to find some other creature of the night to sleep with in the next—what are you down to? Two-three hours? Then, how’s our fragile little Slayer going to tackle a big nasty? Shouldn’t she just take advantage of the legless vamp that she has already half naked and locked in her guest room?”

“I still hate you. After tonight, I’ll give you an hour heads up to run—wheel—away before I kill you.”

“Not if I kill you first, sweetheart.”

“I hate you,” Buffy said, putting an emphasis on each syllable. “If you tell anyone I will stake you.”

“I’ll never tell. Cross my unbeating heart. I swear on my own grave.”

“Fine. Just…close your eyes while I undress.”
***

“Will it hurt if I sit on your legs? I mean, do your legs hurt?”

“They’re broken, what do you think?”

“Sorry.”

“Wait, sorry you asked or sorry that you disabled me?” Instead of an answer, Spike heard what he assumed to be the blankets that Buffy was wrapped up in being dropped to the floor. “I doubt that’ll hurt, really. When Dru tried bouncing on me the day after I was pulled from the rubble, now that was painful. I won’t lie, I’m on the sodding road to recovery—yesterday I actually stood for a few seconds—but it still doesn’t make me any more useful. Dru still wants to feed and dress me like one of her dollies.”

“And you really think that my blood has all the answers?”

“As much as you think that vamp semen holds the sure cure for you.”

“What a disgusting, disgusting demon.”

“Yeah and they’re rare too. You should’ve snapped a picture of it. It’s the loch ness of the demon realm. Most don’t even believe that one of those puppies exists.”

“Well, that particular puppy doesn’t exist anymore.”

“Slayer, just how long does it take you to undress? We haven’t got all night.”

“I know,” Buffy answered quietly. “I can’t move that fast. Sudden moments make me woozy. And my hands, they won’t stop shaking.”

Opening one eye, Spike broke his promise to not watch as she stripped off her clothes. “Those are some fucking gaudy pajamas. What the hell do they say? Yummy sushi?”

“Spike!”

“I can’t see anything, you prude. Your pants are on and you’ve only undone the top two buttons on the shirt. At this rate we’ll be here for days. You’ll keel over before you reach the sixth button.”

“What are you doing? Stay back.”

“Sit on the corner of the bed.”

“Why?”

“So you can rest while your buddy pal Spike helps you out. I’m not taking no as an answer. Besides, you’re not well enough to disagree.”

“You are not my buddy or my pal,” Buffy mumbled, doing as he suggested. With her body rigid, she sat in front of his chair. “I hate you.”

“Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first five times. The feeling’s mutual.” He came as close as possible and instantly started to work on getting off her shirt. “Let’s see what kinda goodies you have hiding under your usual unfashionable attire.”

“Who do you think you are? Cordelia?”

“Who?”

“I don’t see why so many people rag on my clothes.”

“I prefer a simple black, not patterns that include raw fish and chopsticks.”

“They’re pajamas. I don’t wear them in public,” Buffy said, keeping her eyes downcast once her shirt was lying open, exposing her bare stomach and colored bra.

“Stand up. Come closer.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve got to finish what I started.”

“This is so embarrassing,” she whispered. As Spike loosened the drawstrings on her pants, Buffy closed her eyes. When the pants fell to her ankles, she opened her eyes again to watch Spike studying her body.

“You’ve nothing to be embarrassed about. Not one bloody thing. Sit on my lap.”

“You didn’t say, “Simon says.””

“What?”

“You might currently be stronger than me and more…experienced, but you don’t have to boss me around.”

“Yes, I do. I’m evil--.”

“The same evil that promised to treat me right--.”

“Oh, piss off. I’m trying to treat you right.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, really,” Spike insisted, reaching for her wrist. “Sit on my lap. Now, Slayer.”
***

Holding onto his hand for extra balance, Buffy put a leg on both sides of Spike’s wheelchair before settling on his thighs.

“There’s a good girl. Aren’t you more comfortable?”

“’No would be an understatement.” Buffy shifted carefully, finding it strange to be in the lap of her enemy while wearing nothing more than her underwear. “The metal on your chair is freezing and then,” she paused thinking twice before explaining how her bare skin felt against the material of his jeans, “uh, let’s just say that I’m not comfortable.”

“Let me change that. Close your eyes.”

“Spike--.”

“Shut it,” Spike said, holding a finger to her mouth. “You need to stop fighting me. I won’t hurt you. Is that what you want to hear? Shut your eyes or don’t, just try to calm down a bit.” Keeping a close eye on her reaction, he wrapped an arm around her back and pinched the clasp on her bra. “See? That wasn’t so bad.”

“You’re patronizing me, aren’t you?”

Ignoring her question, he lowered each strap off her shoulders and slowly pulled the bra from her body. “You wear push-ups?”

“What does it look like?”

“Like you don’t need to. When I said earlier that you weren’t perky…” Reaching forward, he cradled her left breast in his hand and raked over the nipple with the pad of his thumb. “Well, isn’t that interesting,” he muttered, a smile curving his lips.

“Interesting? What’s interesting?”

“Oh, you felt it, baby, the need…the desire. The wave of warmth, the brief clench of unseen muscles as that wet spot gathers in your panties.”

Buffy’s eyes widened and before she knew what was happening, Spike crushed her into his chest and forced her into a kiss. Taken by surprise, she awkwardly responded to his invading tongue as hands raided her body. His fingers moved at an unpredictable speed, leaving no inch of her skin seemingly untouched.

“Damn it, don’t make me do all the work here,” he panted, ripping away from their lackluster kiss. “ Kiss me, touch me, moan a little—do something, Slayer. I get that you’re sick, but come on! What’s wrong with you?”

“N-nothing’s wrong with me.”

“Prove it,” he snapped, “because I can’t see why Old Dreary lost his soul in you. There’s nothing passionate about you. You’re like some cold fishwife.”

“I’m not cold.”

“Aw, you gonna pout? Did I hurt your feelings, sunshine? You are cold. You’re also frigid and downright icy.”

“It’s Angel—Angelus, he said--.”

“Kiss me.”

Fueled with anger, Buffy flittered her remaining strength into grabbing Spike and kissing him silent. She tugged on his hair and did her best to keep their lip lock heated by leaving no part of his mouth unexplored.

“Moan for me,” Spike instructed, breaking from her mouth to kiss down her neck. “Make some noises, so I know what you like. Don’t allow your hands to stay idle.” Scooping up her hand, he pressed it between their bodies and onto the crotch of his pants. “Feel that, Buffy, it’s for you. You made me hard so you might as well take advantage, right?”

“I…I don’t think I can,” Buffy admitted with a swallow. “Not now.”

“Alright, grind me then. Put your hands on my shoulders, try it and I’ll help you out.”

“Spike, this is…so—God,” she groaned as he cupped her ass and positioned her so was sitting directly onto his erection. Giving into the pleasure, she started to rub against him, the initial feeling of her damp underwear against the zipper of his jeans causing her to cry out again.

“Now, that’s what I wanted to hear,” he purred, using his arms to quicken her movements.

“Spike, I don’t think we should wait much longer.”

“Why?” he chuckled. “You want to ruin my fun already? Foreplay is very important. Didn’t Angel tell you that?”

“I know. Foreplay…but I feel kinda…”

“Buffy!” Spike yelled, as she drooped in his arms. Knowing that she was barely hanging on from the sound her weak heartbeat, he ripped off her underwear and unzipped his pants. “Stay awake,” he demanded, shaking her limp body. “If you die on me, you bitch, I’ll--.””

“Stop. I’ll puke if you keep shaking me like that. And what’s with the name call—oh,” she gasped. Buffy blinked twice after realizing that she was completely naked and that Spike’s erection was sticking out of his pants. “Uh…I…”

“Use the rails to lift yourself up.”

“Okay.” Knowing that a blush was on her cheeks, Buffy propped her weight up before lowering down and attempting to take all of Spike’s length into her body.

“You sure you aren’t a virgin?” Spike asked, raising a brow. “You’re awfully tight.”

“I’ve only done it once, but then Angel wasn’t so…”

“So what? Continue on, kitten, I’ve got to hear the end of your sentence.”

“No,” Buffy said with a grunt. Satisfied that she was filled to hilt, she started to rock and gyrate her hips.

“Why not?”

“Because I’ve got you inside me. I don’t want to even think of Angel.”

“You brought it up--.”

“Be quiet,” Buffy hissed, taking a hold of his face and interrupting him with a kiss. Too worn-out to pour much energy into the gesture, she tasted him lazily in a tempo that mimicked their slow but steady thrusts. Caught up in the moment, she caressed his cheekbones and allowed her fingers to float down his body. She experimentally touched his flat nipples and took time to admire each and every defined muscle of his torso. As she descended lower, Spike’s grunts of approval grew more frequent, especially when she explored his curling pubic hair and area between his legs.

“I didn’t know you’re not a real blond.”

“Neither are you.”

“I’m not cold either. I’m also not someone who needs to be bossed around when I’m making love.”

“You were trained alright, but there’s always room for improvement.”

“Whatever,” Buffy laughed. “Can we move a little faster?”

“Not feeling the burn?”

“Oh, I am. I really am. I’m officially ablaze.”

“You’re getting better too.”

“You’ve gotta love that precome. Gah, I can’t believe that I said that,” Buffy laughed again, but her laughter transformed into a moan as Spike ground her against him with more force.

“Better, Slayer?”

“Perfect.”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up,” she said, without any bite to her voice. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she held on as he coaxed her towards orgasm. “Will you be biting me soon? Will it hurt?”

“Don’t fight it and it’ll be fine.”

“You promise?” Buffy asked, looking directly into his blue eyes.

“Well…yeah. It’s what we agreed on, right?”

“Right. Of course.”

“Do you think we could stop with the chatting--.”

“And get to the fucking?”

“I think we’ve been doing it all along but--.”

“No more talking,” Buffy whispered stroking his face again. “Just kiss me.”

“You didn’t say please.”

“I’m not going to.”

“You’re a silly girl.”

“What’s that supposed to—oh God,” she whimpered, arching her back as Spike pressed his thumb to her swollen clit. After a few rubs against the tiny mound, her breathing was erratic and she couldn’t keep her body from jerking in pleasure.

“You’ll come first--.”

“I am,” Buffy gasped, squeezing her eyes shut and burying her face into his shoulder.

“Oh, baby, I know you are, but let me finish,” he said. “You come and I’ll follow suit, right? Somewhere in there, I’ll bite.”

“Okay, okay,” she mumbled, peppering his skin with brushes from her lips. “Wait—you mean during?”

“During.” Letting go, he yanked Buffy forward in a smoldering kiss as he was overcome by orgasm. Buffy whined once he pulled back too soon, but quieted as he shifted into his vamp guise. “It won’t hurt…much,” Spike grinned, sweeping her hair away from her neck.

Panic and terror rushed through Buffy’s veins as Spike nuzzled her neck. Being bit only one other time by the Master, she waited for the stinging pain, the ripping of skin, and the sickening sound of her blood being gulped.

Spike crushed her into his chest, but Buffy noticed the lack of force behind their embrace. He whispered words that she couldn’t quite understand before kissing her neck, licking the spot once and sinking his fangs into her skin.
***

“Get off.”

“Huh?”

“You heard me. Get off.”

“But…okay,” Buffy mumbled. Still lightheaded from the bite, she took her head off Spike’s shoulder and stood up, releasing his now throbbing erection from her depths with a groan.

“Can’t you go any faster?”

“Spike, what…did I do something wrong?”

“Oh, cut the dramatics and give me two seconds. I gotta see if it worked.”

“Oh.” Buffy wrapped herself in one of the discarded blankets and sat to watch as Spike placed his feet onto the carpet. “Should I...stand next to you?”

“Stay where you are. Alright, this had better work…” Gripping the rails of the wheelchair, Spike stood up like a shot. “It’s about fucking time!” he laughed, pushing the wheelchair back. He continued to chuckle and babble excitedly as he paced, jumped and kicked at the air. “Oh, Angelus, you’d better beware ‘cause Spike’s back and he feels like a running a bloody marathon!”

“Spike might want to tuck himself back into his jeans before he starts running.”

“Aw, you still hurt that I stopped our second go? Couldn’t get enough, now could you? Okay, sweet Slayer, I’ll tell you what; I can switch around some things in my schedule and stick around for a while.” Sauntering forward, he knelt at Buffy's feet. “I wouldn’t mind giving you a few more pokes, you weren’t as bad in the sack as I expected, besides it’ll work out my legs.”

“Do not touch me. Get out,” Buffy growled, shooting him a deadly glare.

“But, sweetheart,” he laughed.

“Get out! You think that you can treat me like that—say those things to me and I’ll just let you use me again?”

“Hey, we used each other--.”

“Get out! And I suggest that you stay the hell away from me unless you want me to break your legs again!” Standing up, she shoved back hard, causing him to fall against the carpet, before storming to her room.
******

Title: Wants and Needs
Pairing: Season 2 Spike/Buffy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Part I takes place after Passion, Part II takes place at the beginning of I Only Have Eyes for You, and Part III takes place somewhere during Becoming Parts I & II.
Disclaimers: Dialogue borrowed from I Only Have Eyes for You and the Becoming episodes. I own nothing. Thank you to Joss for letting me play without being sued.
Gift for: reciprocity_, who wanted cannon, w/ bite/claim & NC17
Beta’d: yes
Finished: yes



Part II

“Buffy; Earth to Buffy. Can you hear me?”

“No, but I can smell you. What the hell is on your fingers, Xand?” Buffy asked, batting her friend’s hand away after he snapped in her face.

“That would be nacho cheese,” Willow answered, reaching forward to retrieve her own gooey chip. “You should have one. They’re really yummy.”

“No thanks. You guys...um, would you mind if I bailed? I’m not in the mood to party. Would you take a rain check?”

“But this is a rain check, Buff. This is the rain check of your last rain check. This is a rain check check. If we had another, it’d be a rain check check check.”

“I see,” Buffy said, forcing a smile in response to Xander’s joke.

“What’s wrong?” Willow asked. “Are you not feeling well?”

“I’m having trouble sleeping. When I do sleep I have these dreams...and when I’m awake, I can’t get them out of my head.”

“Are they prophetic?”

“God, I hope not.” A stubborn blush colored Buffy’s cheeks and she looked down at her soda, hoping that her friends wouldn’t notice her embarrassment. “They just have one recurring, uh, demon in them--.”

“Is it Angel?”

“No, no.”

“You should tell Giles then.”

“Yeah, maybe the demon is stalking you through your dreams or something,” Xander said with a mouthful of cheese.

“No—wait, is that really possible? Can Sp-the demon get into my dreams somehow? That’d explain a few things...” As she contemplated the possibilities, her hand traveled to her neck as if it had a life of its own. Even though she was wearing a scarf and high collared jacket, the scars that Spike had given her tingled and demanded her touch. “Maybe I should give Giles a visit,” Buffy decided, clasping her hands together prior to hiding them in her lap. “In fact, maybe I should go now.”

“And she’s off…”

“Bye, guys. Rain check!”
***

Buffy was almost out of the Bronze when she heard someone call her name.

“Hey, Buffy! Wait up!”

“Can I help you?” she asked, turning to face a boy that she didn’t recognize. “I’m kinda on my way somewhere and--.”

“I won’t keep you long. I’m Ben. We were in algebra together… do you remember me?”

“Algebra...”

“With Ms. Jackson? Second period? You sat three over and one behind?”

“Uh...you mean the class with the desks and the chalkboards and pencils and stuff, right?”

“Oh, it’s okay if you don’t remember. I can barely remember myself,” Ben laughed. “So, I was wondering, you know the dance tomorrow night? Are you going?”

“You mean the Sadie Hawkins thing? The deal where the girls ask the boys?”

“Yeah and I thought maybe, you know, if you're free, you might...ask me.”

“Oh, gosh...” Buffy exhaled, knowing that their conversation was not going to end on a pleasant note. “I...uh, Ben...”

“Oh, oh, hey,” Ben said, holding up his hand, “hey, no, don't, don't worry about it...”

“No, you seem like a really great guy, it's...me. I-I'm not seeing anybody.”

“Oh, that’s--.”

“I’m not seeing anybody ever again actually,” Buffy said in all sincerity. “Never. No dating, no boys, n-no sex, no nothing!”

“Oh...well, uh, good luck with that. I’ll just...be going.”

“Bye,” Buffy said with a pout. “God, I’m a freak.”

Sighing, Buffy headed out of the Bronze into the dark back alley. “Could I be anymore lame?”

“Would you really like an answer to that?”

At the sound of the familiar cocky voice, Buffy’s eyes widened and she froze mid-stride.

“Aren’t you going to treat me to a welcoming kiss?”

“Spike, go to hell.”

“I’ve missed you too, darling.” Stepping out of the shadows, Spike tossed the cigarette that he had been smoking onto the ground before snuffing it with his boot. “Heard what you said to that boy. The poor sod never stood a chance. Wasn’t at all your type.”

“And how would you know my type?”

“It’s just—you know what they say, right? Once you go vamp, you never go back, but, ah, wait a minute,” he paused to chuckle, “you’ve never had a real boy in you. Seems like the Slayer needs a little monster in her man.”

“What are you doing here? What part of ‘I’ll break your legs’ do you not understand?”

“Has anyone told you that you look downright delectable when you’re spouting empty threats?” Giving his lower lip a flirtatious bite, he reached forward to stroke Buffy’s face. “You won’t hurt a hair on my head. No, not now, not that we’re lovers.”

Instead of moving out of his reach, Buffy allowed him to touch her cheek for a few seconds before she attacked. She punched him twice, once on his jaw and once on his nose.

“Hey! What was that for?!”

“I told you,” Buffy tried to hit him again, but Spike captured her fist before it could strike his body, “I-I told you to stay away from me.”

“I know what you said, but it’s easier said than done.” Dropping her hand, he wiped the blood that was gathering under his right nostril. “Fuck, did you have to break my nose? Give me your scarf.”

“What?”

“I’m bleeding like a faucet here. I need something to sop it up.”

“No. No way.”

“You could do without the damn thing. I know what you’re trying to hide. I gave you the scars, Buffy.”

Buffy blinked, not used to Spike calling her by her given name. “Find something else. Do you know how hard it is to get blood out of cashmere?”

“You’re nothing but a rotten, good-for-nothing—hey, did you hear that?”

“Hear what? Spike--.”

“Quiet,” he whispered, holding up his palm. “Sod it all. They’re looking for me.”

“Who?”

“Who do you think? Dru and Angel. They went off to get a bite to eat…shit, bet they found my chair with me not in it.”

“You’re still using your chair? Why?”

“Be quiet,” Spike snapped, snatching her scarf from her neck.

“Hey! Oh, great you’ve ruined it,” she said, frowning once he used her scarf as a tissue. “You’re so disgusting.”

“If they find us…we need to hide.”

“No, you need to hide. I’m leaving.” She turned on her heel, but didn’t get far before Spike grabbed her arm, yanking her into his chest. He covered her mouth with his palm and held her so tightly that she found it difficult to breathe.

“I’m not done with you yet. I came to see you for a reason. We’re going to hide, we’ll talk, and then you can leave, alright?” Not waiting for an answer, Spike dragged Buffy through the alley and into the nearest building.
***

Buffy thrashed from side to side and tried her best to scream with Spike’s hand over her mouth. She tried to kick and wave her arms frantically, but it just led to Spike holding her with more crushing force.

“Keep it up and I’ll squeeze the life out of you. It’ll be no one’s fault but your own.”

Buffy stopped for moment, allowing her chest to heave as she sucked oxygen through her nose.

“You don’t have to carry on like this. Never said once that I’d hurt you. Not that it isn’t tempting…but no, I’m going to help you,” he laughed. “I’m going to help you, Slayer.”

“Really? For what in return?” Buffy snapped, once he raised his hand from her lips.

“A little of this and that, but we’ll pound that out later.”

“W-what do you mean by pound?”

Chuckling, Spike slammed the door behind them with his free hand. “I’m going to let you go. Hit me, I’ll hit back. If you’d like to be useful, you can lend a hand as I barricade the door.”

“Like I’d help you trap me in here. What is this place anyway?”

“It’s a room with four walls.”

“Well, thank you, Mister Obvious.” Buffy rolled her eyes and rubbed the spot on her waist where Spike had dug his fingers. “I didn’t know you were so afraid of Angel…”

“I am not afraid of Angel.”

“So, you’re barricading the door in fear of Drusilla?”

“No,” he growled, sliding a set of metal drawers in front of the door.

“I thought you were going to kill Angel. Oh, but then that’d be you keeping a promise…”

“I am going to kill him! Think about it. I’ve been pretending to be in that chair. If they saw me walking around and talking to you…talk about betrayal. Then I plan on telling you about the bloody Acathla. If Dru found out… Then I slept with you because I was impatient about my legs… I’m not afraid, but I’m not stupid either.”

“Acathla?”

“We’ll get to it!” With another growl, he shoved a desk into the other furniture. “I can only handle one thing at a time!”

“I think the door’s officially blocked,” Buffy said, crossing her arms over her chest. “How long will we wait?”

“For as long as it takes.”

“Oh, goody. Can you use your vampire super eyeballs and tell me what’s in here? All I see is black and I’d like to sit down.”

“You can’t see anything?”

“No.”

“Really?”

Buffy gasped as he brushed against her back. “Touch me again and I’ll--.”

“You hit, I hit back and who has the advantage of vampire super eyeballs?”

“Shut up.”

“We came through an office, remember? So, I’d say with the file cabinets and desk and all, we’re in a storage closet. Back up two steps and move once to the right and there’s a chair.”

“If I believe you--.” When he came close to her for a second time, she was more alert and grasped him by the shoulders. “Don’t.”

“Back up two steps,” Spike repeated, placing a hand on each side of her waist as he guided her to the chair. “Move one step to the right. Now sit.”

“Uh…”

“There’s no need to thank me.”

“Where are you?”

“Right here.”

“Well, that helps.”

“Doesn’t your Watcher train you to fight in the dark?”

She opened her mouth to respond, but stopped when a tiny flame lit the room. She could see Spike sitting on the floor with his back propped against the far-side wall.

“Hey, cutie, need a light?” Spike asked, a cigarette bobbing between his lips.

“No, thanks,” Buffy whispered.

“You’re staring.”

“You’re the only thing that I can see.”

“This better?” He flipped the cap of the lighter closed, leaving the room pitch black again except for the red tip of his burning cigarette.

“What’s Acathla?”

“A big rock.”

“Sounds scary.”

“A big rock that’ll suck all humanity off the planet, leaving Earth as a playground for all the nasties to take over.”

“Oh. But, wait, if all humanity—I’m assuming that you mean humans—is gone, what will the vampires feed on?”

“Good question. See why I’m telling you this?”

“Exactly why are you telling me this?”

“So, we can stop it!”

“We?”

“Will you stop with the twenty bloody questions? Angelus can’t get the rock to work, alright? But he’s getting closer to opening it everyday. We, meaning you and me, need to stop him.”

“You want to save the world?”

“Slayer…”

“Sorry. Continue.”

“We stop Angel. We kill Angel. I leave with Dru. Your secret leaves with me. Nobody will know we had sex, nobody will know that you let me bite you. The end.”

“You’ve got it all figured out.”

“I’d say that it’s an offer that you can’t refuse.”

“How do I know that you won’t ditch me when the fighting starts? You could only take me so far and run off with your precious Dru the ho bag, leaving me to take on Angel alone. You haven’t kept your word about anything yet--.”

“I haven’t said a word--.”

“You told me that you’d kill Angel for me! You promised me that you’d treat me right!”

“You’re still sore about that?”

“You treated me like garbage,” Buffy spat, thankful for the dark as tears welled in her eyes.

“What did you expect? Me to whisper sweet nothings into your ear?”

“You could’ve been decent afterward!”

“I offered to stay--.”

“After telling me that I wasn’t as bad as you expected! How could you say that after what I went through with Angel?”

“I hate to break it to you, but your feelings weren’t high on my list of priorities. We were enemies, Slayer.”

“And we aren’t now?” Buffy asked, wiping away the tears that slid down her cheeks. She waited for an answer and panicked when the light from his cigarette suddenly disappeared. “Spike? Spike, why won’t you answer me?”

Even though she was listening carefully for the sound any movements, Buffy was taken by surprise when he pulled her off the chair she was sitting in. “Hey! What are you doing?!”

“If I had acted differently, do you really think you’d be any less pissed? Then your holier-than-thou song and dance would be shot to hell.”

“T-that’s not true.”

“Prove it.”

“Uh…”

“Prove it,” he said, more slowly. When Buffy stayed idle, he took matters into his own hands by giving her a deep kiss.

Not sure if it was because of her haunting dreams or because of the blinding darkness, Buffy didn’t push him away. Responding wholeheartedly to his smoky lips and tongue, Buffy melted into Spike’s chest.

“Buffy?”

“Don’t say anything. Just kiss me,” she demanded, finding his mouth again.

Feeding off of her enthusiasm, Spike tugged her jacket off her shoulders. A noise escaped from his throat once he found that she was wearing a thin halter that was tied on with the support of nothing but a flimsy bow.

“What are you waiting for?” Buffy asked, stopping their kiss. “It isn’t knotted. Want me to get it for you?”

“What game are you playing here?” Spike hissed, finding her wrists and holding them firmly at her sides. “What are you up to?”

“What are you talking about?”

“One minute you’re pissed and with the next you’re trying to lick my tonsils and practically begging for me to strip you.”

“Do you have a problem with that?”

“No—well—no.”

“Then let’s continue from where we left off…” Wrapping her arms around his neck, Buffy kissed his chin on accident before brushing brief kisses against his lips. “Wish I could see…”

“Wish granted,” Spike said, reaching up to pull a chain that was connected to a light bulb.

“Hey, you didn’t tell me that was there!”

“You didn’t ask. Does it change everything for you? Can’t pretend that I’m Angel any longer, yeah?”

“I’m not doing that!” Rubbing her eyes, Buffy struggled to see under the garish light of the bare bulb. “I’m not pretending anything!”

“You want me, do you?” With a quick, graceful movement he pulled at the strings of her shirt, leaving her back exposed. Keeping his eyes glued on hers, he reached forward to pet and tease her nipples as they pebbled under their thin drapery. “This won’t go any further if you don’t admit it. Let me hear the words.”

“I want you.”

“And she didn’t even stutter,” Spike said, sounding impressed.

“I’ve been dreaming about you.”

“So, you want a reenactment of your wet dreams? A little role playing?”

“I like you so much more when you’re quiet.”

“She likes me,” he snorted. “This is new.”

“I find you…almost tolerable!”

“You know, with all the screaming that you’ve been doing, if Angelus were hunting me down, we would’ve been caught a long time ago.”

“Oh? Does that mean--.”

“It means I’ll let you go…if you want to go that is.” With a flick of his wrist, Buffy’s shirt pooled at her feet. “The choice is yours.”

“I want to stay,” Buffy whispered. “If I stay, you won’t tell?”

“What happens in our storage closet will stay in our storage closet.”

“You’ll be decent?”

“Haven’t I been this time around?”

“No. Look at the bruises that you gave me.” Buffy pointed to the discolored mark on her side. “That hurt.”

“You hitting my nose hurt.”

“About that…I, uh, guess that I’m sorry.”

“Damn, you must be having some powerful dreams, baby. Fine. I guess that I’m sorry as well.”

Buffy felt a smile tug on her lips. “Are we going to do something or am I going to stand here topless all night?”
***

“Do you believe in signs?”

“No.”

“How about kawinkidinks?”

“Slayer…”

“I just can’t get over the fact that this place has a bed.”

“It’s a cot.”

“A nicely sized cot that happens to be both sturdy and comfy.”

“Don’t make me roll you onto the floor.”

“Try it,” Buffy said, pulling Spike’s shirt over his head. The action left his hair sticking up and Buffy couldn’t stop herself from running her fingers through it. “I’d be outta here so fast…”

“But your itch wouldn’t be scratched. That’s what you’re here for, right?”

“What are you here for?” When he failed to answer, Buffy frowned, thinking that he was avoiding her question. “Spike?”

“Got to get you out of my system,” he murmured, pushing her back so she was lying flat. He kissed a line along from her belly button to the valley between her breasts. “Got to deal with my own nightmares.”

“Nightmares?”

“You call them dreams. I call ‘em nightmares. Stay still.”

“You,” Buffy let out a moan once she heard her underwear rip, “you’re having…them too? So you aren’t, eh, stalking me when I sleep or anything like that?”

“Yeah,” he snorted, “that’s me, the sodding sandman. What a bunch of rot, that is.”

“Spike, what—Spike!” At the first lick from his tongue, Buffy shot up. She tugged her long skirt up to find Spike grinning between her legs.

“And you say that I treated you poorly. It sounds to me like Angel wasn’t much better. He got right to the shagging, yes? Poor baby never got her first taste of foreplay.”

“I…Spike!”

“Relax,” Spike instructed, pushing on her stomach. “Stop your squeezing too. I feel like my head’s been caught in a bloody vice.”

“Sorry, but you should’ve warned me.”

“Put your hands on my shoulders or in my hair if you want, since you’ve already messed it up. That way you’ll know what I’m doing and you can even guide me if you’d like.”

“Okay,” Buffy swallowed. Feeling nervous and excited at the same time, she eagerly dug her fingers in his hair and waited for the next jolt to her core. “Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be—gah, Spike!”

“Slayer, never knew you as a screamer,” Spike chuckled briefly before returning to her clit. Each time he suckled the mound or swiped it with his tongue, noises and whimpers escaped involuntarily from her mouth. In less than five minutes he had her trembling and on the cusp of orgasm.

“What? What? Don’t do that.”

Ignoring her demands, Spike hastily rubbed the same spot with two fingers until she came seconds later.

“God, Spike, that was…I can’t even think of a good word. My brain’s all mushy.” Looking down, she motioned for him to come closer.

“Don’t tell me we have to cuddle now.”

“Would it really be so bad?” she asked, searching his eyes. “You’re okay with us having sex and all, but you can’t handle the thought of just holding me? Would it threaten your ego that much?”

“Now, pet, we never said anything about--.”

“Never mind. Forget it. What was I thinking? We don’t actually care for each other. We don’t even like each other. We’re just having sex. Mindless, lust-driven sex.”

“We both hope to feed our own…temporary needs…desires,” Spike added, his face blank. “And then we’ll go our separate ways.”

“Well, I’m feeling pretty satisfied,” Buffy announced, untangling herself from his body. “Maybe I should go. Then we can get the ball rolling on that whole, ‘going our separate ways’ deal.”

“Buffy…”

“Unless, you still, um, need feeding…” Not able to look him in the eye, she scooted to the corner of the cot that was farthest away from Spike. “Wouldn’t want to leave you hungry. That’d be rude.”

“You can stop the puns. Do you always get your way with that pout? Guilting people into doing whatever you want?”

“It’s a good thing you don’t have a…conscience…then,” Buffy struggled with the last words as Spike wrapped his arms around her waist. Neither of them said anything as she turned and crawled into his lap. Even though she felt awkward, Buffy forced herself to relax. She rested her head on his shoulder and scooted deeper into his chest. “Just for a few minutes,” she whispered. “Just a few, Spike, then we can go back to the other stuff.”
***

Spike struggled to stay distant, knowing that if he were too willing or too eager that Buffy would connect the dots. She’d realize that Angelus was never trying to find him, that the cot wasn’t a coincidence, and that he planed the whole night in hopes of recreating the fantasies that had been haunting him night after night. As much as he was drawn to her warm skin, deep breaths, and quick heartbeat, Spike kept his hands glued to Buffy's lower back.

"I never plan on admitting this again, repeat it and I'll deny that I said a word, but...this is nice."

Spike bit his lip as she squirmed in his lap. The swelling in his pants was already throbbing, but as she stroked and sweetly kissed his shoulder, the pressure against his zipper was becoming unbearable.

“Buffy, pet--.”

“Don’t ruin this by talking. I start to have a good time, but then you make me mad by talking and making your usual snide remarks.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled. With careful fingers, he danced up her spine and combed through her hair. “I’d say that it isn’t my intention, but...”

“It’d be a huge lie,” Buffy laughed, wiggling again.

“May I ask what you’re doing?”

“You’re poking me. I’m getting ready to…” she paused to open his pants. “You’re okay with that, right?”

“A little more than okay.”

“Can we lie down? It’s not that I’m not comfy, but since we have a bed, we should use it.”

Nodding, he scooped her up and positioned them so he was hovering over her body. “This alright?”

“It’s perfect,” she said, flashing him a small grin. Her smile grew once he slid inside her with one push forward.

"You like that, Slayer?"

"Do I really have to say ‘duh’?" Capturing his face between her palms, Buffy kissed him at unhurried pace as they began to rock together. She kept her eyes on his and made every attempt to match each move that he made.

“You’re really something,” he groaned, taking a break from their endless kissing so she could take a few much needed breaths.

“A good something or a bad something?”

“You’re gorgeous.”

“Say what?”

“Beautiful. Witty. Stronger than any blonde bit of fluff should be…”

“Compliments…you’re giving me compliments? Has your penis taken over your brain?”

“I’ve actually been wondering the same thing lately.” Laughing softly, he buried his head into her chest. “Never thought I’d find something more enjoyable than fighting a Slayer…but that was before I tasted one. Before I felt one inside and out.”

“Oh, now I understand. You don’t want to have sex with me; you just have this sick fascination with doing a Slayer. I’m glad that that’s cleared up now.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he hissed, adding more force behind his thrusts. “Must you twist my words?”

“Y-you think that I’m beautiful? Really?”

“Yes.” Spike watched in awe as the smile returned to her face as quickly as it had faded. “You’re extraordinarily beautiful, Buffy.”

“I like it when you say my name,” she whispered, shutting her eyes as the initial waves of orgasm shook her body. “Don’t tell anyone…but I think you’re beautiful too.”

“Oh?”

“Damn your cheekbones.”

When she cried out and grabbed his shoulders, Spike took the opportunity to rest his forehead against hers as his own release hit. The gesture brought Buffy’s eyes back open and she studied his face until he collapsed, spent.

“I blame your hair too. You have stupid hair. Stupid, stupid…soft, touchable hair.”

“Buffy,” he tried to roll away, but was held still. Buffy tangled her arms and legs firmly around his body. “Alright, I’m guessing that you don’t want me to move anytime soon.”

“I’m starting to think that hell would freeze over if a guy stayed the night… I mean, am I destined to go through all my morning afters alone?”

“Slayer--.”

“Buffy,” she corrected. “And yes, you don’t even have to ask, I want you to stay. Stay with me until morning.”

“What about the sun?”

“Well, we can get up before sunrise. I have to be home before my mom wakes up anyway.”

“You sure about this?”

“Positive. I’m…inviting you to stay. It’s up to you if you choose to do so.”

“I’d say that it’s an offer that I can’t refuse.”
******

Title: Wants and Needs
Pairing: Season 2 Spike/Buffy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Part I takes place after Passion, Part II takes place at the beginning of I Only Have Eyes for You, and Part III takes place somewhere during Becoming Parts I & II.
Disclaimers: Dialogue borrowed from I Only Have Eyes for You and the Becoming episodes. I own nothing. Thank you to Joss for letting me play without being sued.
Gift for: reciprocity_, who wanted cannon, w/ bite/claim & NC17
Beta’d: yes
Finished: yes



Part III

“I will drink, the blood will wash in me, over me, and I will be cleansed. I will be worthy to free Acathla. Bear witness, as I ascend, as I become. Everything that I am, everything that I’ve done has led me here. I have strayed, I’ve been lost, but Acathla redeems me. With this act, we will be free.”

“Now comes the exciting part. Wish I had some popcorn.”

“Quiet, Spike,” Angelus snapped. He wrapped a hand around the handle of the sword and pulled with all his might. Instead of the sword sliding out of the stone, Acathla rejected him by shooting a spark through the handle that sent him flying back.

“Someone isn’t worthy,” Spike sang, a smile on his lips. “Whatever will we do now?”

“Damn it!”

“Oh! This is so…disappointing!” Drusilla exclaimed, her body shaking.

“It’s alright, kitten,” Spike said, holding a hand to her lower back as she pouted. “I’m sure your daddy has something else up his sleeve.”

“There must be something I missed! The incantations, the blood... I don't know!”

“Okay, maybe he doesn’t have a clue...”

“Shut up, roller boy!” Growling, Angelus put on his coat. “We will have our Armageddon, Dru, I will promise you that much.”

“Where you heading, mate?”

“He’s going to her,” Drusilla giggled, clapping her hands like an excited child. “He’s going to the Slayer!”

“So, you can play some more mind games with the girl? Isn’t that getting old for you yet?”

“Oh, we’re done with playing. I’m going to kill her.”

“No one’s ever thought up that one before…”

“I need blood. Blood from someone who’s worthy, and who could be more worthy than a Slayer?”
***

“Xander!”

“No, no, stay back. I’m good.”

“You are not good,” Buffy said, helping Xander to his feet. “You don’t have to patrol with me. You know that, don’t you?”

“I was doing just fine before that vamp pushed me.”

“You tripped, Xand. Over your own feet.”

“Yeah, well, what do you know?”

“He won’t show up. He hasn’t all week.”

“He will now. You just gave yourself a dozy of a jinx there, missy.”

“Come on, Xander. I’ll walk you home.”

“No, I’m the male, that’s my job.”

“Heel, boy,” Buffy giggled. “Okay, if you insist, you can walk me home.”

“I do insist. Angel could be anywhere. Behind any tree, under any rock…” Xander said, looking to the right and left before taking his next step through the cemetery. “You have to be especially careful since we know about the you-know-what.”

“The you-know-what may not even work.”

“Either way, if you-know-who finds out about the you-know-what, we’ll be in danger.”

“He won’t find out,” Buffy promised. “Not unless,” she stopped, a sudden shiver shooting through her body, “not unless…Xander, can you wait here for a sec?”

Not waiting for an answer, Buffy walked into the woods.

“Buffy? What’s going on?”

“Didn’t I tell you to wait?”

“Yeah, but--.”

“Shhh,” she hissed, raising her hand up. “I guess he’s gone now.”

“He?”

“Nobody. Maybe we should head home.” Scanning the woods one last time, Buffy led Xander back into the cemetery.
***

“Mom? I’m home!”

Walking into the kitchen, Buffy wasn’t surprised to see that the red light on the answering machine was flashing. “Looks like it’s going to be another late night at the office for mom...”

Pressing the button, Buffy listened to the message as she gathered a non-fat yogurt from the refrigerator.

“You can come out now.”

“How’d you know that I was here?”

“It’s what we Slayers do.” Buffy turned to look at her guest. “Don’t think that I’m not glad to see you, but why are you here? Oh, wait, no, let me guess. Your watcher informed you—” clearing her throat, Buffy did her best to imitate Kendra’s accent, “—dat a very dark power is about to rise in Sunnydale.”

“That would be correct,” Kendra replied with a grin. “I’m here to help you out.”

“Great. God knows I’ll need it. Come on,” Buffy sighed, putting her yogurt away. “I’ll get the sofa set up for you and fill you in on the info on that very dark power.”
***

Buffy was almost asleep when she heard three taps on her window. “Go away. I’m sleeping.”

“Didn’t I tell you to put a lock on this window?”

“Then how would you be able to break into my room?”

“I’d use the door like a normal person.”

“You’re dead, Spike. There’s no way that you could ever be classified as normal.”

“Who’s sleeping downstairs?” Spike asked, sitting on the edge of Buffy’s bed. “It isn’t your mother.”

“It’s Kendra.”

“Who is?”

“Haven’t you met her? She’s my Slayer gal pal. I’m Chosen One and she’s Chosen Two.”

“You’d better keep an eye on her, pet.”

“Why? What’s Angel up to now?”

“The usual ‘let’s open the big rock’ deal.”

“So, the ritual didn’t work?”

“He couldn’t get the sword from the stone. He thinks his blood is bad. Have you seen him tonight?”

“I think you’d be able to tell if I had.”

“You and the girl should be safe for now. Just promise me that you’ll stay in for the rest of the night.”

“I promise,” Buffy said, rolling her eyes. “Are you spending the night?”

“Doubt it.”

“Oh, okay. Good night then.” Pulling the covers to her neck, Buffy closed her eyes. “Let yourself out.”

“I’ll check on you tomorrow.”

“We’ll be fine.”

“I’ll be here at sundown.”

“Okay, if you insist.” Buffy smiled a faint smile when he kissed her forehead and pressed his lips briefly to her cheek. “You sure you can’t stay?”

“I can’t sneak out every night and come home stinking of Buffy.”

“Hey, I don’t stink.”

“You have a very distinct smell, one that our friend Angelus is very familiar with. I’m sure when you kissed him he got reacquainted with your unique aroma.”

“I didn’t kiss him because I wanted to, I did it because I had been possessed by a ghost.”

“You expect me to believe that?” he teased with a snort. “You still claim that you don’t want to kiss me either.”

“I don’t.”

“That’s my girl, she who can’t escape her land of denial and delusions.”

“I’m not your girl. I’m nobody’s girl.”

“No? Well, you’re definitely the pain in my ass. That’s one fact we don’t have to put up for debate.”

Buffy’s heart sped up involuntarily at the sounds of Spike’s clothing being shed and dropped to the floor. “You’re a jerk.”

“Scoot over. You already naked under there?”

“I’m not having sex with you.”

“You always say that. You’ve said it every sodding day since the storage closet and every day what happens?”

“Can’t remember. I block it all out.”

“Liar, liar,” Spike sang, spooning against her back. “If your little friends bring his soul back, how will you explain this to your boyfriend?”

“We aren’t supposed to talk about that.”

“Angelus isn’t listening in. He doesn’t have the room bugged. Tell me what you’ll say. How will you define us?”

Buffy swallowed, finding it difficult to think as he touched her body with such familiarity. He knew where to caress to make her tremble; he knew exactly what to do to make her weak in the knees. “I thought this was staying between the two of us.”

“Would you say that we were friends?”

“You give me information.”

“I protect you.”

“I guess.”

“You know that I do,” he whispered. “You sense me.”

Not able to form words, Buffy nodded. She knew that he was watching her: keeping Angelus from finding her and making sure that she wasn’t in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“I keep you safe. You feel safe with me, don’t you, Buffy?”

“Yes.”

“You like the way that I make you feel. That’s why you never push me away. You can’t resist me,” he chuckled, licking the scars that he’d placed on her neck.

“You can’t resist me either.”

“True.”

“Will you be okay with just leaving me when this is done? Will you take your girlfriend back, the one who cheated on you? The one who you’re cheating on?”

“I love her,” Spike said, stopping his hands. “Drusilla’s always loved me. Our love is eternal. Angelus—even you, Slayer—you can’t mess that up.”

“You should go.”

“I will not.”

“You will if I toss you out the window. One scream and Kendra will dust you. She’s never been one to ask questions when it comes to vampires.”

“You asked me to stay. I’m staying.”

“I asked if you were staying.”

“I’m not leaving you. Not until I have to, alright?”

“Spike,” Buffy groaned once he opened her legs wide and pushed inside her from behind. “You shouldn’t--.”

“Why this sudden case of conscience, pet? Did you really forget about Dru?”

“Don’t talk about her. Not now.”

“You’re jealous.”

“You’re with me.”

“I am,” he laughed while pressing kisses into her neck. “Can’t deny that.”

“I don’t know the big difference between eternal love and normal love, but if you were my boyfriend, I’d kill you if you cheated on me.”

“Possessive, aren’t you? Didn’t know you’d be so greedy. You’d want me all to yourself?”

“Duh.” Finding his hand, Buffy placed it on her chest, silently urging him to touch her breasts. “I don’t know what kinda bizarre-o logic that vampires live by, but I would not put up with a communal boyfriend.”

“I don’t cheat on her.”

“Oh really?”

“Well, other than this, but she cheated first.”

“She shouldn’t have done that.” Twisting, she looked into his blue eyes before giving him a kiss. “She shouldn’t have hurt you like that if she really loves you. I wouldn’t hurt you intentionally...if you were mine—m-my boyfriend, I mean.”

When he didn’t say a word, she moved his hand again so it rested between her legs. “Please?” she whispered, feeling awkward. When he began rubbing her clit, she sighed in relief and forced herself to keep talking. “Spike...if Giles and Willow can bring Angel back...it’s a really big if...I’ll tell him that you were my friend.”

“I’ll tell him that you were here for me when I needed someone. You understood what I was going through and for a few weeks you were mostly sweet...y-you were good to me and I’ll never forget how you helped me, how you saved my life.”

“Spike?”

“Fine, don’t talk to me.”

Upset by his silence, Buffy grinded against him and made every attempt to stay hushed as she brought him to orgasm, leaving herself unsatisfied.

“Now, you can go.” Flinging his arm aside, she scooted to the opposite side of the bed.

Buffy waited for a few minutes, terrified that if she looked at him too soon that she’s burst into tears.

“Do you know how hard it was to say those things to you? Do you know how hard it’ll be for me to just let you go? I’m not good at this affair stuff. I’ve never done it before, and, uh… Spike, I didn’t want to say this, but, I--.”

Buffy rolled over mid-sentence and frowned, realizing that Spike was gone and that she was alone.
***

Buffy couldn’t concentrate. The lecture that her teacher was giving was a bore and she struggled not to fall asleep, knowing that if she closed her eyes for a moment, she’d dream about Spike.

Can’t think about him, Buffy thought, thumbing through her spiral notebook. Can’t think about him. Can’t think about…

Buffy paused, a page of doodles in her notebook catching her eye.

Can’t think about him either.

With a sad smile, she touched the words: Buffy & Angel = Forever!

“Tonight. Sundown. At the graveyard.”

At the sound of the gravely voice, Buffy looked up to see a female vampire walking across her classroom. She was wrapped in a blanket, but the sun shining into the room caused her skin to steam.

“Excuse me?” Buffy’s teacher began, “What are you--.”

“You will come to him,” the vampire said, dropping her blanket. “You will come to him or more will die! Tonight! His hour is at hand!”
***

“She exploded in the middle of my class.”

“Exploded?”

“Poof. Dust everywhere. My teacher was so freaked.”

“Well, it’s understandable.”

“I need to go to him, Giles. She said more would die.”

“Buffy, are you sure?”

“I don’t have a choice.”

“It’s strange,” Giles mused, pushing up his glasses, “Angelus has been lying rather low lately…”

“Yeah, well, he’s not any longer. While I’m gone, Kendra will watch over you guys. And look, as long as Angel’s fighting me, then he can’t try the ritual again.”

“Again?”

“I mean, he can’t do it at all. I’ll distract him. Meanwhile, you and Will can try the curse.”

“It may not work…you shouldn’t get your hopes up too high, Buffy.”

“My hopes are low, way low—below sea level. If the curse does or does not work, I know I’ll have to fight him. I also know that Angel will die if we can’t restore his soul. I know that I’ll have to kill him. It sucks and I hate the thought of losing him…but then I think he’s been gone for awhile now and…”

“You’re accepting it?”

“More or less,” she admitted with a sad smile.

“Just keep him at a distance. If the curse succeeds, you’ll know. Be careful.”

“I always am,” Buffy said, catching Giles’s eye before heading out of the library.
***

“You shouldn’t go.”

“Are there any shadows that you aren’t lurking in?”

“Angel’s up to something and he wouldn’t tell me what.”

“Move out of my way.”

“About last night--.”

“I do not have time for this.”

“We need to talk.”

“We could’ve talked last night.”

“You told me to leave.”

“And since when do you listen to me?”

“I couldn’t—will you wait up?” With his hands deep in the pockets of his jacket, Spike followed Buffy down the sidewalk. “He won’t fight you! This isn’t the big fight!”

“What do you mean?”

“You think after all this—Buffy,” touching her arm, Spike willed her to face him, “pet, it can’t be this easy. You think he’d let it end with a fair fight? You and him in a cemetery? Where’s the fun in that? Where are the fancy weapons, the dramatics, the--.”

“Maybe you don’t know everything.”

“Maybe you should trust me.”

“What exactly are you suggesting?”

“Think of this as a trap for one minute. Who would he be after, other than you?”

“I don’t know…my mom…my…friends?”

“See, it’s never about you. Give him a choice between hurting you and killing you and he’ll pick hurt every single time. Old dogs can’t pull new tricks out of their asses you know. He plays out the same routine over and over.”

“Okay, you have a point. But which would he choose?”

“Which is closest to here?”

“The library. Giles and the others are trying out the curse.”

“Go there.”

“Come with me.”

“You sure?”

“I’m still mad at you, but you promised that we’d do this together.”

“I did, didn’t I?” Clearing his throat, Spike acted casual as he reached for Buffy’s hand.

“Spike,” she laughed, “what the hell are you doing?”

“Nothing. Lead the way, Slayer.”
***

Buffy walked through the library doors and stopped abruptly, causing Spike to walk into her back.

The library was in ruins. Most of the shelves were toppled over and books were scattered everywhere.

“Kendra,” Buffy whispered, seeing her friend lying on the floor beside the counter, blood was pooling around her body. “Kendra!”

Running and falling to her knees, Buffy took Kendra’s lifeless hand against her chest. “Spike,” she said, her voice strained, “she—Drusilla did this, didn’t she?”

“Freeze! Put your hands up! Back away from the girl slowly!”
***

Spike inched to Buffy’s side, his eyes on the police officer and his hands still in his pockets. “There are two others, pet. Both are unconscious, both bleeding.”

“Two? What about--.”

“Freeze!” The police officer shouted again, a gun in his hand which was pointed at Buffy.

“Can I take care of this?” Spike asked, pointing to the men. “It’ll just take a second.”

“This one’s dead,” a second officer said, looking down on Kendra.

“What about up there?”

Following the first officer’s point with his gun, Buffy gasped once she saw Xander on the floor. “Xander!”

“Do not move!”

“I need to see if he’s okay! Please!”

“Come on, just say the word,” Spike said. Glaring at the police officers, he bounced on the balls of his feet, ready for a fight. “You don’t have to put up with this rot.”

“Oh, yes. Yes, she does.”

“Who are you?”

“Snyder,” Buffy answered faintly. “God, help me. He’s my principal.”

“Do you know these people?”

“I know the girl, officer. Miss Buffy Summers. If there’s any trouble at this school, she’s behind it. I knew this day would come. And after you’re done with her, it’ll bring a smile on my face to expel her from my school--.”

“You stupid little troll!”

“Attitude problem, you see? She suffers from a serious attitude problem.”

“She wasn’t behind this, you twit. We just showed up.”

“And who are you?”

“A witness and her alibi,” Spike said, stepping closer to principal Snyder even though the police shouted and cocked their guns.

“Oh, yes. You look like a credible source.”

“You’ve got some nerve--.”

“Spike!” Buffy screamed, grabbing his shoulder before he could vamp. “Let’s get out of here. Now.”

“But--.”

“I can’t get into trouble. You kill them…Spike, my life will be over.” Staring him in the eyes, Buffy ignored the police officer that came to her with handcuffs. “Let’s go,” she pleaded, under the sounds of the cop telling her she had the right to remain silent.

“Alright. I won’t kill ‘em, but I can promise you that each of them will get hurt a little.”
***

“Thank you.”

“There’s no need. It was fun.”

“You’ve got a warped idea of fun.”

“Oh, I saw the twinkle in your eye when I knocked out that principal. What a jerk. You couldn’t have been more right about the troll bit.”

“He’s going to suspend me…”

Hearing Buffy sniffle, Spike wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “Shhh. They’ll clear your name sooner or later. You’ve got more important things to worry about now.”

“Yeah, like the damage your girlfriend caused,” she mumbled, hiding her head in his chest. “You must be so proud…”

“She didn’t tell me.”

“But you were right, it was a trap. I shouldn’t have left them. I’m so stupid.”

“Don’t blame yourself.”

“I can’t help it. I’m supposed to protect them.”

“You’ll feel better once you see the boy in the hospital.”

“Come with me?” she asked, reluctantly pulling back from his comforting embrace. “I don’t think…don’t leave me alone right now.”

With his expression blank, Spike watched as Buffy rubbed her wet, red eyes. “I’ll wait outside.”

“Thank you.”
***

“Xander!” The second the coast was clear, Buffy flung herself on to his hospital bed and brought him close for a hug. “Are you okay? Where’s Giles? Willow?”

“I’m fine. Just broke a few limbs. As for Will…”

“What?”

Pulling back, he looked at the curtain next to him. “She won’t wake up, Buffy.”

“Oh god.”

“And Giles…they took him.”

“They?”

“Drusilla and her goons. I heard them talking. They want him to tell Angel how to open Acathla.”

“He won’t—god, they’ll kill him!”

“Buffy--.” Suddenly, Xander yanked her back to his chest with his good arm.

“Uh, Xander?”

“Cops. At one o’clock. Two of them.”

“Crap. You know that they’re after me?”

“I told them it wasn’t you; that you didn’t hurt Kendra…or any of us, but they won’t listen. But what I don’t understand is that they insist that you had an accomplice.”

Buffy stiffened and then stood up straight.

“An accomplice with a British accent, bleached blonde hair—stop me when you feel like explaining this to me.”

“Xander…”

“Why was Spike there?”

“H-he helped me. He is helping me.”

“With what? How can you trust him? His girlfriend sliced Kendra’s neck with her fingernail!”

“Xander…”

“Xander! Oh my God, Xander!”

“Cordy.”

Buffy edged to the door as the couple kissed and hugged. “Guys, I need to go find Giles. If there’s any change with Will…” swallowing, she backed up again. “Xander, about Spike…”

“Just go and be careful.”
***

Spike was on his third cigarette when Buffy reappeared; hand on her hip and fire blazing in her eyes.

“How is he?”

“Do you really care?”

“Well, no, it’s one of the perks of being an evil soulless fiend,” he snorted. When Buffy’s frown deepened, he rolled his eyes. “Alright, I’ll bite. What’s got you all in a tizzy?”

“Xander’s pretty much in a full-body cast, Willow hasn’t woken up yet, and Giles? Well, Giles has been kidnapped. You wanna guess by whom?”

“No, I pass.”

“Why am I not surprised?”

“Hey,” Spike said, jogging after her as she took off down the street. “Where are you headin’?”

“Home. I need to change and get my sword.”

“Oh.”

“You don’t have to follow me around anymore.”

“Figured I’d take you to the mansion when you’re ready. Bet they’ve got your Watcher there.”

“It’s funny how you’ve been really good at guessing tonight. Too good, Spike.”

“What are you getting at? You think I’m lying?”

“Did I say that?”

“Oh, not the exact phrase, but—fuck, I’m not playing this bloody game. I’m sick of it. Believe me or not, I’m just using my head. One of us has to, since the mighty Slayer turned into a big pile of sobs once her friends got a few boo boos.” Before Buffy could open her mouth, he continued, “They nabbed him for information, right? He’s probably in the living room, next to the statue. I’m sure they won’t kill him. They’ll torture him, but they won’t kill him, not for a few days at least.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“Well…yeah,” he shrugged.

“Spike, torture is bad. Normal people do not shrug at the thought of someone that they care about being tortured.”

“Right. Forgot. Vampires are not normal. Hell, Slayer, just because I don’t currently have a conscience, soul or beating heart that doesn’t mean that I don’t remember how those things work. I’m not daft; I know what’s right and what is wrong. I can get that much from watching my fucking television!”

“Then what do you think of your princess now? You came to me once telling me that Angel was a bad guy, how is Drusilla any different? Because she didn’t call you names when you were disabled?”

“Shut your mouth—wait, you want to dust her!”

“Want is putting it mildly!” Once they reached the driveway to her house, she whipped around to confront him. “No matter how much it sickens me that she’ll be free to kill more people while my friend is lying in the ground, I will not dust her!”

“And why not? Because you made a promise? Isn’t that cute--.”

“Because of you!” Buffy yelled, stomping towards him until they were standing nose to nose. “I will let her go because of you! Because you love her! Because I can’t hurt you like that!”

They glared at each other silently with heaving chests until Spike took the first move by crashing his lips onto hers.
***

“Spike, Spike,” Buffy moaned, clinging to him and savoring what she assumed to be their last kiss. “I need you—I need to tell you--.”

“No, there’s no time for talking.” Pushing her backwards, he propped her back against the tree in her front yard. “Need to be in you one more time. Can’t leave you…can’t leave without having you again.”

“But…Giles.”

“We’ll hurry.”

“I don’t want to hurry. I don’t want to be outside either. I want you in my room and in my bed.”

“We can’t always get what we want.”

“I know. God, I know,” Buffy whimpered, stubbornly keeping her kisses to his face and neck constant as he unzipped their pants. “What if someone sees?”

“They won’t see much. My coat’ll keep you covered.”

“Spike,” Buffy cried at the initial rush of pleasure as he entered her body. Even though she longed to coil her legs around his waist, she couldn’t with her pants around her ankles. “Closer, closer.”

“I can’t.”

“You can. Don’t go so fast.”

“Buffy…”

“Please? Don’t rush. And, if you want, you can bite me.”

“Bloody hell, you’re driving me insane…”

“Oh, yeah?” she smiled, “Well, you make me crazy too.”

“Fuck,” he groaned, having trouble keeping the tempo of his thrusts slow as she smiled at him so sweetly.

“No, we’ve been over this. We aren’t fucking.”

“Right, right. I’m making love to my Slayer.”

“Yes…”

Shifting out of his human face, Spike slid his teeth into the fading scars on her neck. “My Buffy,” he whispered before licking up pearls of her blood.

“Yes,” she purred, closing her eyes as her body shook and trembled. “Spike, I have to say this,” she inhaled deeply, but first signs of Spike coming left her speechless.

“Damn you, Spike… Damn you for making me fall for you…”

“What?” he asked after collapsing. “You say something a second ago?”

“No.”

“You sure? Could’ve sworn I heard mumbling…”

Knowing she wouldn’t be able to lie to him as he searched her eyes and swept her hair behind her ears, Buffy shook her head again.

“But you wanted to say something, yes?”

“I…I just can’t believe that it’s going to be over soon.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.”

Buffy swallowed as he slipped away and fixed their pants like nothing had happened.

“After tonight,” Spike continued, “we’ll go; me and Dru will leave the country, since you’re sparing her and all…”

“It’ll be for the best.”

“That’s right.”

“I should…change…get weapons.”

“The clock’s still ticking away.”

Nodding, Buffy headed up the walk to her front door with Spike at her side.

“Buffy?!”

“Mom?”

“Buffy! Where have you been?” Joyce Summers demanded, getting out of her car and letting the door slam. “Are you okay? The police were here! I’ve been looking for you!”

“Mom, let’s go inside. I can explain everything.”

“Want me to get your stuff?” Spike whispered, talking into her hair.

“No. You are not leaving me.”

“Buffy, who is this man? The police—didn’t he hurt people tonight? Did you? Did you hurt Xander, Willow--.”

“God, how can you even think that?”

“I don’t know what to think! Terrible, terrible things have happened! What were you doing?”

“She didn’t do a thing, Mrs. Summers. There was a mix up and--.”

“Who are you? Another boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend--.”

“Aren’t you too old to be dating my daughter? Can’t you college boys see women your own age?”

“Mom, get out of his face! He’s not my boyfriend! We’re, we’re,” Buffy shot Spike a panicked look and mouthed ‘help me!’

“We’re…in a band?”

“A-a band! I’m in a rock band with Spike.” Forcing a laugh, Buffy patted his arm, secretly thanking him for playing along. “I just didn’t want to tell you because…you know what they say about rock bands.”

“Spike?”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

When Spike offered out his hand, Joyce ignored it and kept her eyes on Buffy. “Since when can you play an instrument?”

“Well, she plays the,” after searching for a word, Spike said ‘triangle’ as Buffy blurted out ‘drums.’ “S-she started out on a triangle, Mrs. Summers, but now she’s hell on the ole skins. She can just pound on ‘em all night long.”

“Spike--.”

“And what do you do?” Joyce asked, crossing her arms.

“Well, I sing.”

“You know what?” Buffy intervened. “Why don’t we go inside? Let’s go inside.”

“I’m not sure that I want him in my house…”

Not paying attention to her mother, Buffy linked her arms with Spike. “Thank you for trying.”

“Your mother, she’s not a nice lady, pet.”

“On three we run.”

“You serious?”

“Very. Okay, one…two…”

Before Buffy could say three, Joyce screamed, causing Buffy and Spike both to turn as a vampire attacked.

Working together naturally, Buffy held the vampire still as Spike punched him in the face. The last blow sent the monster spinning and Buffy stopped it by thrusting a stake into his chest.

“Wow, that-that was…”

“Fucking brilliant.”

“It really was,” Buffy panted, smiling from ear to ear. “Everything just seemed to flow.”

“You felt that too?”

“Excuse me. Buffy…what…is going on here?”

“Mom…I’m a vampire slayer and Spike, well, he’s a vampire.”
***

“You’re a vampire slayer?”

“Yes.”

“You make people explode.”

“They’re not exactly people. They’re demons.”

“This Spike, he’s a demon.”

“Yeah.”

“So, I have a demon in my living room…okay,” Joyce said, pouring herself a drink. “You’re dating a vampire?”

“Mom, how many times do I have to say that Spike and I are not dating?”

“Okay, okay, you just seem close.”

“Mom!”

“It’s alright we’re friends,” Spike smirked, amused when Buffy blushed.

“B-but Kendra, she didn’t seem like a vampire…”

“She wasn’t.”

“So you didn’t kill her.”

“Of course I didn’t kill her! She was a Slayer, mom.”

“Did Spike--.”

“Spike didn’t kill her either, his girlfriend did.”

“But I didn’t have a say in the matter,” he explained. “Dru, she’s—we’ve been having some problems at home and--.”

“Honey, are you sure that you’re a vampire slayer? Have you ever tried not being a Slayer?”

“Mom!”

“What? I’m trying to understand this!”

“I don’t have time to repeat myself. I’m the Slayer; can’t you just deal with it?”

“It’s because you didn’t have a strong father-figure, isn’t it?” Joyce asked, staring into space. “We should call the police. I’m sorry Spike, but we need to clear my daughter’s name.”

“It won’t be problem, Mrs. Summers.”

“Yes, it will be problem,” Buffy said, stopping her mother before she could reach the kitchen. “You can’t call the police. Don’t you understand what I just told you? Get them involved, you’ll get them killed.”

“Well, you’re not going to hurt them, are you?”

“You can’t call them.”

“I will call them,” Joyce laughed, walking past to the telephone.

“I’m serious. Cops can’t fight demons. I have to do it.”

“Do what?” Joyce demanded, losing her patience. “Buffy, what is happening?”

“Apparently I can’t talk to you right now,” she answered, rolling her eyes. “Why don’t you just have another drink?”

“Don't you talk to me that way!” Joyce screamed, throwing the phone, causing the bottle of liquor she had been pouring from to crash onto the floor.

“Uh, is everything alright in here?”

“You don't get to just dump something like this on me and pretend it's nothing!”

“I’m sorry. I am so very sorry, but I don’t have time for this.” Giving her mom one last look, Buffy headed to Spike, who was standing under the frame of the door.

“No! I am sick and tired of ‘I don’t have time,’ or-or, ‘you wouldn’t understand!’ I am your mother, and you will make time to explain yourself!”

“I told you. There’s nothing else to explain. I’m a vampire slayer.”

“Well, I just don’t accept that!”

“W-what?”

“Buffy,” Spike whispered, suddenly pulling her back against his chest, “you can say three at anytime. We’ll run. I’ll be right behind you.”

“You can’t be serious. What do you think has been going on for the past two years…the fights, the weird occurrences? How many times have you washed blood out of my clothing?”

“Well, it stops now!”

“No, it doesn't stop! It never stops! Do-do you think I chose to be like this? Mom,” Buffy’s voice broke in a sob, “do you have any idea how lonely it is—how dangerous? I would love to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or...God, even studying! But I have to save the world...again.”

“No. This is insane. You need help.”

“I am not crazy! What I need is for you to settle down for tonight—just tonight, because we have to go.”

“He can go. He should’ve never been invited into our home in the first place, but as for you, I am not letting you out of this house.”

“You can’t stop me--.”

“Oh yes I can!”

“No, no you won’t,” Spike said, edging Buffy backwards once Joyce tried to grab her. “I suggest you keep your hands to yourself.”

“She is my daughter and--.”

“And you’re putting her through hell.”

“You have no right--.”

“You have no right,” Spike shot back. “What is wrong with you? She doesn’t deserve this! She just told you that she saves world on a daily basis—she’s a sodding superhero and you’re calling her insane? Looks like someone won’t be winning the Mother of the Year Award anytime soon.”

“Don’t... You’ll just make it worse.”

“Sod that. We’re leaving, baby.”

Buffy grinned through her tears as Spike kissed the top of her head and led her to the door.

“You walk out of this house, Buffy, don’t even think about coming back!”

“Get me out of here.”

“It’ll be my pleasure.”
***

“Poor Giles.”

“What?”

“I should be saving him and not…we shouldn’t be doing this,” Buffy said, pressing light kisses against Spike’s skin. “It’s wrong.”

“From what I’ve seen, he looks like a tough bloke…”

“Giles? Rupert Giles? My Watcher, Giles?”

“If I said he was doomed, would you still be here?”

“I just needed one minute--.”

“Don’t get defensive.”

“So, you aren’t going to say something mean?”

“Even I can demonstrate some restraint every once in a while.”

“You shouldn’t do it often; it’ll make me think that you’ve gone soft.”

“You’ve got stupid hair and when you cry your face is disgusting, like a shriveled up prune.”

Chewing on her lower lip, Buffy giggled into Spike’s ear. “You’re very mean.”

“I’m a fucking bad ass.”

“Yes, you’re that too.”

“We should break up soon. I’ll go in first and you can follow. I’ll need the extra time to get back into my wheelchair.”

“You really know how to ruin a mood,” Buffy sighed, exhaling into his shoulder. “If you wanted me to stop kissing you, you should’ve just--.”

“If I wanted you to stop, I would’ve told you to stop.”

“You don’t have to remind me,” she mumbled, remembering their first time together. “You’re right though, we should split up and the sooner, the better.”

“I’ve never been a fan of emotional goodbyes.”

“What makes you think that it’ll be emotional? What are your thoughts on violent goodbyes?”

“You’d better not hit my nose, that’s all that I’m saying.”

“I won’t.”

“Should we postpone the goodbye then?”

“No, I don’t want an audience.”

“Oh, then our secrets would be out in the open, I get it.”

“Then it wouldn’t be private,” Buffy corrected. “If Drusilla saw me in your lap, clinging to your body and kissing your lips, something tells me that she’d ruin my moment—uh, it’d just ruin everything, okay?.”

“You haven’t fulfilled that last component of your moment yet, baby.”

Snorting, Buffy scooped his face in her hands and kissed his mouth. “Happy?”

“So this is goodbye...”

“Yeah,” she muttered, kissing him again.

“When I see you again, we’re going to pretend that we hate each other.”

“I do hate you--.”

“Liar.”

“—just not as much”.

“I’ll back you up any way that I can.”

“I know you will.” Clearing her throat, Buffy stood up, leaving Spike sitting. “I’ll see you soon, I guess.”

“Good luck, Buffy.”

“Good luck.” She smiled softly, forcing herself to walk away.
***

“What was that?”

“Can’t anyone not sneak up on me? Yesh, I understand Spike because he’s a vampire, but you? You shouldn’t be so stealthy, you should be in the hospital.”

“I broke out. God, Buffy,” Xander hissed, taken back by the sight of Buffy’s red-rimmed eyes. “What’s going on?”

“A lot and it’s not over yet. Should you be here? Is Willow okay?”

“I’m fine and Willow, she’s fine too. She actually wanted me to tell you…”

“Tell me what?” Buffy asked, casually looking behind her.

“Is he still there?”

“Uh, who?”

“Buffy, come on, you just mentioned him. I saw you guys together with the touching and smoochies.”

“Are you pissed?”

“I’ve been pissed all day, so I can’t tell. I don’t feel any different.”

“He’s going to help me fight Angel.”

“So you won’t need any back up?”

“You’re sweet for showing…but if you get hurt…”

“You’ll need someone to drag Giles out. I can do that.”

“With one arm?”

“Oh yeah. It’ll be great. I can so do one-armed heroics.”

“Get him and get out,” Buffy said, pulling a stake from the blanket she was holding and handing it to her friend. “Do not get killed.”

“I’ll try my best not to. What else do you have in there? I’m guessing it isn’t a fuzzy pillow.”

“Just one thing: Kendra’s sword. I figured it’d attract too much attention to just walk around with it. I’m already wanted by the police.”

“Good thinking.”

“Thanks.”

“So, you and Spike...you’re together?”

“It depends on what your definition of together is.”

“You’re not…dating, right?”

“No, Xander. Worlds of no.”

“But, you don’t hate him anymore?”

“No.”

“That’s...uh, the word only that keeps popping in my head is ‘bizarre’.”

“Tell me about it,” Buffy said blankly. “I was not expecting to not hate him.”

“He’s a pretty hate-able guy...”

“Well, after you get to know him...he, uh, he can be...all I can say is things with Spike are intense.”

“More than with Angel?”

“Xander...”

“Sorry, overstepping my bounds. I was channeling my inner gal pal and got carried away.”

“Can you put her on hold? If we don’t get sucked into hell tonight, I’ll be in definite need of a shoulder to cry on. You have no idea…”
***

“Acathla...Mundatus sum...pro te necavi. Sanguinem meum...pro te effundam...quo me dignum...esse
demonstrem.”

“Oh, that can’t be good. Chanting in a funny language cannot be good.”

“It isn’t.” Hiding in the shadows with Xander, Buffy watched as Angelus started that ritual to open Acathla. Drusilla was beaming at his side and Spike was in his wheelchair, a few feet away and sitting with his back to Buffy.

“Okay, you get Giles and then you run.”

“Can I fight a little? You gave me this stake and--.”

“No,” Buffy said sternly, stepping out of her hiding place. After Xander ran off to search the mansion, she made her appearance known by decapitating one of Angelus’ nearby lackeys. “Hello, lover.”

“I don’t have time for you. Can’t you see that I’m busy?”

“I don’t think you have much time left.”

“Aren’t you acting a little hasty?” Angel asked, finally facing her. “Look around, you really think you stand a chance here?” You can’t take us all on by yourself.”

“No, I can’t actually.”

“And she doesn’t have to,” Spike growled, leaping up and kicking his chair away. He rushed at Angelus with an iron bar, knocked him to the floor with a blow to the back and laughed bitterly as he hit him repeatedly. “How’s that feel? Painful, daddy?”

“What are you doing?” Drusilla cried out in shock. “Spike, what--.” Instead of finishing, she hissed and jumped onto Spike’s back. “You naughty boy, you must be punished!”

“I don’t think so. If anything, he deserves a prize.” Plucking Drusilla off of Spike, Buffy slammed her against the wall.

“Oh, oh you…”

“Oh, me what?” Buffy punched her in the face and flew back once Drusilla slapped her with an open hand.

“You silly, silly girl. You want him…you love him.”

“I do not!”

“Yes.” Giggling, Drusilla matched and blocked Buffy’s attack until she found herself in a chokehold.

“You do not know how I feel!”

“He’s claimed you…but…but he’ll never love you as he’s loved me. Our love is eternal.”

“She’s right, Slayer.”

At the sound of Spike’s voice, Buffy took a quick inhale of breath.

“Let her go, pet.”

“See?” Drusilla purred once Buffy released her neck. “He’s mine.” With a smug grin, she ran a fingernail along Spike’s cheekbone, cutting his face and drawing blood to the surface. “He loves me.”

Once Drusilla leaned in towards Spike, Buffy lowered her eyes, not caring to watch as Drusilla licked his cheek. “You’ve really got to get those nails clipped. I can I recommend a good dog groomer?”

Drusilla hissed in reaction to her joke, but to Buffy’s surprise Spike snickered. “Good one, sweetheart.”

“Huh?”

Not answering, Spike elbowed Drusilla in the face. “You might want to check on Angelus.”

“S-spike?”

“Get over there!”

“O-okay.”
***

“You almost made it, Buff. It’s too bad you got sidetracked.”

“It’s not over yet.”

“My boy Acathla is about to wake up. You’re going to hell.”

“Save me a seat.”
***

“You keep looking at him. You trusted him? He’s going to knock Dru out and then he’ll scamper off like the coward that he is, leaving you to die.”

Buffy swallowed, her eyes still on Spike as he fought Drusilla.

“Here you are trapped in a corner with no weapons, no friends, definitely no boyfriend…no hope.”

She closed her eyes, scared as Angelus pushed her own sword against her clothing.

“Take that all away and what’s left?”

Listening as he drew back his sword, with lightening-fast reflexes Buffy caught the blade between the palms of her hands before it could slice her. “Me.”
***

“I…don’t…want…to…hurt…you,” Spike said truthfully between each punch, kick and block. “However, that doesn’t mean that I won’t.”

“What has she done to you?”

“I’ve been trying to figure that out myself lately.”

“She’s confusing you…bewitching your heart… I can feel it,” Drusilla said, almost touching a hand to his chest, but yanking her hand back as if he’d burn her. “You’ve been torn in so many directions. You were fighting it, but now…”

“Don’t even say it,” Spike said, giving her the final hit that made her collapse, unconscious.
***

Buffy’s heart skipped a beat once Spike broke into her fight with Angelus. “Think you waited long enough?”

“Need to rest?”

“No, but,” she tossed her sword in Spike’s direction and he caught it easily. “We need his blood! Giles said that his blood will open Acathla and it’ll also close its portal!”

“Okay, I’ve been looking forward to seeing him bleed.”

“William, will you ever get tired of fucking my leftovers?”

“What can I say, mate, you’ve got great taste.”

“God, pun much?” Buffy snickered, taking a time out to inspect the deep cut that Angelus made on her arm. Wincing, she took off her jacket and pulled the fabric of her shirt from the wound.

“Buffy! I could use some help here!”

“Coming! What’s wrong, Spikey? Need rescuing?”

“Buffy…pet…”

“What? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” she asked, looking him up and down. “Spike, tell me. What’s wrong?”

“Can’t you hear him? Look, he’s crying.”

Following Spike’s finger, Buffy let out a gasp. “Oh my God.”

“We were fighting and his eyes flashed.”

“B-buffy?”

Her heart swelled as Angel looked up at her with heavy tears in his eyes.

“What’s going on?” he asked with a quiet sob. “Where are we? I-I don’t remember.”

“Oh my God.”

“Don’t just stand there, cutie. Go to him.”

“But…Spike…”

“Go to him,” he urged. With hands on her waist, Spike pushed her forward gently. “It’s really him. All your prayers have been answered.”

“I…oh God.”

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in months,” Angel whispered, pulling her to his chest. He inhaled the scent of her hair before kissing her shoulder. “Everything’s so muddled, Buffy. I’m so confused.”

“I hate to interrupt, but, Buffy, you need to open your eyes.”

At the sound of Spike’s soft voice, she did what he recommended and let out a strained moan. “No, please…no…”

Behind them where Acathla was once standing dormant was a swirling portal to hell that was growing larger as each second passed.

“W-what’s happening?”

“Shhh, don’t worry about it,” Buffy assured Angel even though she couldn’t stop her chin from trembling. She brushed her fingers over his lips and across his cheek, savoring the feel of his skin. Keeping her eyes open, she touched her lips to his mouth and moaned again when he returned the kiss, turning her simple gesture into something that was painfully passionate.

“I love you,” she said, breaking the kiss once the portal was nearly five feet in diameter. “I love you so much.”

“I love you.”

“Close you eyes…please? For me?”

Struggling not to crumble, she kissed him once more before stepping back. “S-spike, can you…”

“No, let me. You shouldn’t have to--.”

“Give it to me!” she demanded, reaching behind her with her palm open. “I need to—I just need to!”

“Alright,” Spike sighed deeply, placing the handle of the sword into her hand.
***

Spike winced as Buffy drove the sword through Angel and watched as he was sucked into the portal. He knew that she had tried to avoid Angel’s face by looking at the sword that was sticking out of his chest, and he also knew that no matter what she did, Buffy would be haunted by the fact that she’d stabbed her first love and sent him into a hell dimension.

When he took Buffy into his arms as she shook and wept uncontrollably, Spike knew that her heart was breaking.

“Spike…” she hiccupped, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. “Angel…”

“Hush.”

“I’m dying—I feel like I’m dying inside. I-I can’t breathe.”

“I know, baby. That wasn’t very fair now, was it?”

“Nothing about today has been fair. I’ve lost everything.”

“That’s not true--.”

“It is. My mom kicked me out…Snyder expelled me from school…Xander knows about us, so he’ll probably tell the others and--.”

“Well, you’ve got me.”

“What?”

“I not talk loud enough? You’ve got me,” he repeated slowly. “I know I can’t replace your mother, your education, your friends, or even your Angel, but I’m here for you. I’ll take care of you. I’ve done pretty well this past week or so. Take me or leave me, it’s your decision.”

“Really? Are you kidding? Spike…I’ll kill you if you’re playing with me.”

“I’m not kidding.”

“What about Drusilla?” Buffy asked, looking at him suspiciously. “Remember what I said about me not accepting communal boyfriends? Unless…unless you didn’t mean it like that, did you? Am I making a fool out of myself? You don’t want us to be together-together, you’re just offering me a place to stay, right?”

“Together-together?”

“Just answer me: what about Drusilla?”

“Well, she’s back there and currently unconscious and when she wakes up she might not be as willing to take me back as I expected…”

“So you want to be with me just because Dru won’t take you back?”

“Uh, no…”

“Yes! What, did you assume that you could take advantage of me since I have nothing, not even a place to call home, until you win her back?”

“Did I say any of those things?”

“You don’t have to!” she snapped, jerking away from him. “I won’t let you use me anymore!”

“But we--.”

“Say that we used each other and I will hit you so hard. I do not need you. Acathla is gone. The portal to hell is gone. A-angel is gone.”

“Now you want me to follow suit?”

“I don’t need you. Our deal—our plan, it’s all over.”

“Where will you go?”

“I’ll leave town. I-I’ll live with my dad. I’ll go to Los Angeles!”

“You could stay with me or we could go somewhere together. Come on, I’ve got my car. We can go to Los Angeles.”

“Do not touch me!”

Ignoring her protests, Spike pulled her back. “You may not need me, but you want me--.”

“I’ll get over it.”

“I want you.”

“Like I’ve never heard that before--.”

“Will you be quiet for one bloody minute? Damn you, woman! I’m trying to have a heart-to-heart here!”

“You don’t have a heart!”

“I do too! Even though it’s been screwing with my head lately.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Do I really have to fill you in? Are you that slow?”

“Keep it up, let’s add insult to injury.” Looking up, a new set of tears started to fall from her eyes. “Come on, I can take it.”

“You’re a pain in the ass,” Spike said lowering his voice.

“We’ve established that. You’re a jerk.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Thanks.”

Spike rested his forehead against her hair and when she sniffled softly, he kissed her temple. “You’re driving me crazy. You’re in my head, you’re rushing in my veins,” cupping her face he forced her to look at him, “you’re in my heart, Buffy.”

“W-what are you saying?”

“I’m saying…God, pet, you always need to hear the words, don’t you? I’ve tried to push it away, but I can’t any longer. You remember our storage closet?”

"Do I really have to say ‘duh’?"

“Cute,” he smirked, recognizing her words. “I set that up, the whole thing.”

“You mean the bed wasn’t a sign? You lied to me?”

“Oh, kitten, take it however you want to. I’m just happy it got the ball rolling for us.”

“It sure did…”

“I love you.”

Buffy blinked, surprised. “You care to repeat that? Because just thought I heard you say that you--.”

“I love you,” he repeated. “Maybe you don’t want to hear it after your grand finale with Angel, but I do love you. I’d be a fool not to.” He kissed her forehead before kissing her cheek and lips. “Fell for you awhile back actually…”

When Buffy remained immobile, he sighed and released her from his arms. “Guess this is your way of turning me down, by ignoring me?”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Well, you could start by telling me three words in particular, if you feel that way, of course.”

“You love me…” Buffy chewed on her lower lip and took one step closer. “You want to stay with me? Only me?”

“I wouldn’t mind taking a crack at it. You aren’t the only one who can be greedy, Slayer.”

“And if Drusilla--.”

“Fuck her, she had her turn.”

“So this is my turn…you’d be mine?”

“All yours. Every inch, down to the last drop.”

“You know, t-they say once a cheat, always a cheat…”

“I was faithful to Drusilla for decades. Decades and decades of being nothing but loyal and committed.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Don’t make me regret this.”

“I haven’t let you down yet.”

“No, no you haven’t,” Buffy admitted, fighting back a smile. “Let’s keep it that way, please.”

“I’ll try my best. Come here.”

Feeling coy, she went back into his arms and rested her head on his chest. “Would you mind if I told you that I loved you later? I’ve got the whole speech memorized, but I’m positive that I’ll cry when I give it and I’ve cried so much tonight…”

“Want to get outta here?”

“Where will we go?”

“Don’t know.” Twining their fingers together, Spike led Buffy out of the mansion and to his car. “You still wanna to go to Los Angeles?”
******

The End.