dreams of you part1 chapter 1 dreaming
Flash back:
“No, Spike.” Buffy said without letting him speak. Spike smirked at her and
raised his scared eyebrow, “No, What kind of answer is that, you haven't even
heard the question yet.” Buffy rolled her eyes, “I don't have to. We both know
what you're thinking.” His smirk turned into a grin and then a sexy leer, “And
we both know ... that I'm not the only one thinking it.” He said as he inhaled
smelling the heavy musk of her arousal mixing with the vanilla sent that always
seemed to linger long after she left him.
“No! Not here.” She said feeling annoyed. She was irritated
the he was the only one to make her feel. Mad at herself for needing him to
make her feel and mad at him for being more than happy to do it. He was her
enemy. He was a Master Vampire. He shouldn’t be making bedroom eyes at the Slayer
and the fact that he thought he loved her was just wrong.

Spike looked a bit upset at her dismissal of him but he really should be
used to it by now. It just wasn’t in him to give up. “Why not?” he asked while
reaching out to touch her. Buffy lifted the bag she was holding as if to point
to the house, “Dawn. She's inside waiting for dinner, she's counting on me.
I'm not letting her down by letting you in.”
Spike smirked at her again, “So it's the fear of getting caught, then,
is it.” Buffy rolled her eyes again and for the umpteenth time wondered why
she was having this discussion and not pushing Spike out of the way and going
inside. “Reason number one on a very long list. “ she replied, her exhausted
state showing in her voice. Spikes voice was making her wetter than she wanted
to admit.
“Needn't be an obstacle.” He said no casually as if he was talking about
the weather. “Spike, I mean it. Come on.” She shrugged from his hand that had
been stroking her arm. She was tired, and annoyed, and getting horny as hell
and couldn’t do anything about it. Spike knew he was winning. “I hear you're
serious. So am I. I want you ... you want me... ...I can't go inside, so ...
maybe the time is right ... for you to come outside.” He reached for her again
pulling her around behind a tree and she lets him. The dinner she brought home
for Dawn was forgotten as it dropped from her hand the moment his lips touched
her. When he touched her the whole world melted away.************************************************

Buffy woke up with a gasp. After a moment she realized it was a dream.
She was remembering what had happened so long ago and it was haunting her dreams.

She got up and ready for her day and went to make breakfast for Dawn.
***********************************************
Flash back:
Buffy came bursting into his crypt like always. Never knock. Just opened
the door like she owned the place. If anyone were to ask the Vampire who called
the crypt home he would say she did. She owned him and all he had. He would
never let her know just how true that was, but it was true. Never in his existence
had anyone made him feel what Buffy made him feel. Love, hate, anger, passion.
He took on Slayers in the past for the challenge but now he knew he had met
his match in the little blond standing in his home.
Her hands were on her hips and her expression let him know she was not
a happy slayer. “I need to find a guy. Dealer. Calls himself The Doctor.”
She demanded. Spike sighed, yet again she comes looking for information she
just knows he’ll have or can get. “Human?” he asked simply.
“His traffic isn't.” she replied, her voice was clipped with anger
making her sound bitchy. “Clock ticking?” he asked as he tried to
figure out if he knew anything or who he could beat the information out of.
Buffy softened a bit, “Whatever he's doing, he's doing it soon.?”

Spike looked up at her his eyes full of hope and desire, “Soon but not
now?” he asked as he smelt her strong arousal. “Tell me you love me.” She said
quietly as she allowed him to wrap her in his arms. They had played this game
before and he was more than willing to play it again. “I love you. You know
I do.” He replied truthfully. He thought for a moment she was accepting the
fact that he loved her. Her next words cause all thought to fly out the window.
“Tell me you want me.” She instructed. “I always want you. In point of fact”
he said giving her a lustful look. “Shut up.” She said as she began un buttoning
his shirt. Bossy little chit was his last thoughts before she was kissing him
and practically tearing his cloths off.************************************************

Buffy woke up crying. How could she be so weak,
***********************************************Flash back:
“So she's back. Thought you'd be off snogging with soldier-boy.” Spike
said, his jealousy showing in every word and move he made. “He's gone.” Buffy
said sadly. Spike smirked but his expressive eyes showed his anger clearly,
“So, you come for a bit of cold comfort, The bed's a bit blown up, but then,
that was never our” Spike started sarcastically.
Buffy’s green eyes meet his blue ones. Her pain and confusion was there
for him to see. “I'm not here to- And I'm not here to bust your chops about
your stupid scheme, either. That's just you. I should have remembered.” She
said. She seemed resigned to that fact that he was who he was and it would never
work between them.
Spike was hurt and angry but refused to believe what his heart was telling
him was about to happen, “So this is worse then, is it, this is you telling
me” He looked up at her again. “It's over.” She said sadly. “I've
memorized this tune, luv. Think I have the sheet music. Doesn't change what
you want.” Spike replied.
He was still hoping she wouldn’t end it. He knew she deserved better but
damn it he wanted to be selfish and keep her with him even though he knew it
was wrong. “I know that. I do want you. Being with you ... makes things ...
simpler. For a little while.” She admitted.
Spike smirked as he tried to lighten the mood a bit, “I don't call five
hours straight a little while.” Buffy sighed in frustration and resignation.
She hated what this was doing to him, she hated what it was doing to her. She
hated that he let her hurt him and she hated herself for hurting him. “I'm using
you. I can't love you. I'm just ... being weak, and selfish...” She said.
Spike only shrugged, “Really not complaining here.” Buffy looked up with
an almost dead expression that frightened him, “...and it's killing me. I have
to be strong about this. I'm sorry ... William.” She turned and left the stunned
vampire standing staring after her rapidly retreating form.
************************************************
Buffy awoke from the current nightmare crying so hard she felt as if
she could not breath. How could she have been so cruel and cold.
***********************************************Flash Back:
Spike looked up at Buffy, “Hello, Buffy.” A quiet “Hey” was her response.
They stared at each other for a moment not sure what to say. Spike finally broke
the silence, “It's a happy occasion. You meet my friend.” He asked as he indicated
the girl he had brought with him.
Buffy tried to smile, “No. Not yet. But she seems like a very nice attempt
at making me jealous.” Spike smiled back, “Is it working,?” he asked hopefully.
Buffy sighed, “A little. It doesn't change anything ... but if you're wildly
curious, yeah, it hurts. “ She admitted. Spike did not feel as good as he thought
he would hearing her say that. “I'm sorry.” He said softly then remembered he
was a master vampire not some wet behind the ears fledge. “Or, Good!”
Buffy smiles a little more at this, the Spike she knew was trying to make an
appearance.
“You want us to go.” He offered. “No. No, I ... you have every right to
be here. I pretty much deserve” she started, but Spike cut her off, “That's
not true, you...” he sighs, looks at the ceiling “God, this is hard.” “Yeah.”
Buffy agreed. Spike sighs again, “I think we'll go.” He said and started to
locate his date. “Go where, To your place?” Buffy asked. She hated the feeling
of jealousy that came up at the thought of another woman in is crypt. “Yeah,
I suppose. That was the idea.” Spike said as he cocked his head to the side
and looked at her. She had surprised him and given him another crumb.
“Yeah.” She said sounding like a hurt lost lamb. Spike shrugged, “Evil.”
He said as an explanation. Buffy politely agreeing “Of course.” Spike was frustrated.
All these years he had been around and he could still be reduced to acting like
a awkward teenager with a crush. “But I won't. Or I...” he started before cursing
himself mentally for being a git, “I'll just go. Give 'em my best or whatever.
The happy couple.” Buffy almost smiled, “I will.”
Spike paused for a moment looking at her. His face held that look of awe
and wonderment as he sincerely told her, “It's nice to watch you be happy. For
them, even. I don't see it a lot. You, uh... you glow.” Buffy blushed a bit
as she smiled and replied, “That's because the dress is radioactive.” They laugh
together and Buffy nervously shuffled saying, “I should...” Spike had sad eyes
and said a simple, “Yeah.” As Buffy starts to go, he asks softly, “But it hurts,”
Buffy smiled a sad smile, “Yeah.” Spike liked that she was hurting to but he
could not be proud of it. He hung his head for a moment and muttered a sincere
“Thanks.” Before walking off. Buffy watched him leave and whispered, “You're
welcome.” To herself.
************************************************
Buffy look at her diary and what she had wrote that day. She had known
even then but she let her friends and her duty get in the way and never told
anyone. Again she cried.
***********************************************Flashback:
"You all right” Spike asked. Love and concern clear in his voice.
Buffy wasn’t angry with him but he was the closest thing she could pour it out
on. “You need to leave me alone. You're not a part of my life.” She said cruelly.
This as usual just put the vampire in the same nasty state, “ Fine, then.” He
starts to go, turns back, “But I hope you don't think this antidote” He starts
and gets zinged by ray of sunlight, starts again, “I hope you don't think this
antidote's gonna rid you of that nasty martyrdom. See I figured it out, luv.
You can't help yourself. You're not drawn to the dark like I thought. You're
addicted to the misery. That's why you won't tell your pals about us. Might
actually have to be happy if you did. They'd either understand and help you,
God forbid, or drive you out where you could finally be at peace, in the dark,
with me. Either way, you'd be better off for it, but you're too twisted for
that. Let yourself live, already. And stop with the bloody hero trip for a second,
we'd all be the better for it.” He paused “You either tell your friends about
us, or I will” He stalks away.
************************************************
He was right. She should have told them. He was wrong about belonging
in the dark with him. He belonged in the light. She was already in the dark.
It was her life, her curse, her duty, her gift……Death was her gift and in the
end she gave it to him. She wondered if the crying would ever stop.
***********************************************Flashback:
Spike watches Buffy fighting “How you doin',” he asked as if he was asking
her about the weather. Buffy struggles with the vamp she is fighting and rolls
her eyes relying, “Oh, fine. You know... Same old same old.” Spike had caught
another vampire and was holding him back. “Here, I could take care of this guy
if you want. “ he offered. “Whatever. Your call.” She answered. “I mean, sure
he don't look like much... but I'd wager he could give you a bit o'nasty. I'll
save you the staking. All you gotta do is” Spike said as he gave he a pointed
stare. The vamp he was holding didn’t know what to do. A Master Vampire had
him and was dangling him in front of the Slayer like a couple of cats playing
with a mouse.
Buffy was getting more and more annoyed. “ I am *not* telling my friends
about us.” She said forcefully as she hit the vamp she was fighting. Spike shrugged,
“Right. I'll just be dropping him down to you then.” She finally stakes the
one she is fighting and tells him, “ You wanna tell 'em so badly, Go ahead.
Know why, I tried to kill my friends, my sister, last week and guess how much
they hate me, Zero. Zero much. So I'm thinking, sleeping with you... They'll
deal.” The vampire she had started fighting was surprised. The Slayer
was sleeping with a master vampire? Were its last thoughts. Buffy staked it
while Spike said, “In that case, why won't you sleep with me again?” He hated
that she could do this to him. She always seemed to bring William to the surface.
“Because I don't love you.” Buffy said before leaving him standing there. Spike
watches her leave before saying “ Like Hell.” To himself.
************************************************
She did know why she said it when she knew it was not true. The Powers
That Be are a twisted bunch of gits. She smiled at herself using Spike’s word.
She was not crying as much today. She might even go outside, maybe even spend
sometime with the others.***********************************************
Flashback:
“Why do you keep lying to yourself?” Spike asked. For some reason he could
always see straight through even the lies she told herself. “How many times...I,
I have feelings for you. I do. But it's not love. I could never *trust* you
enough for it to be love.” Buffy gave the preprogrammed response sounding more
like the bot than the real thing.
Spike scoffed “Trust is for old marrieds, Buffy! Great love is wild and
passionate and dangerous. It burns and consumes.” He explained as his eyes met
hers she felt herself being pulled in by the necked desire she was there. “Until
there's nothing left. Love like that doesn't last.” Buffy said sadly. “I know
you feel like I do. You don't have to hide it anymore.” Spike said confidently.

************************************************
She didn’t have to hide. Unfortunately now that she could admit how
she felt he was not there to tell, but every night she dreamed about him. Some
how a piece of him lived in her. If she never forgot then he would always live
with her, at least in her dreams.***********************************************
Flashback:
Spike was in a cave and yelling out, “Well that was a bloody doddle and
a piece o'piss... Got any more ruddy tests for me, you ponce, I'll take anything
you can throw at me. If it'll get me what I need to take care of the Slayer.
Give her what's coming to her. You just bring it on. Bring on the whole” He
already looked beated and broken but it was not in him to quit once he started
something. Under his breath he muttered a “Bloody hell.” As beetles start crawling
all over him.
Later a voice called out to Spike. “You have endured the required trials.”
It said. Spike weakly but a cocky as ever responded, “Bloody right I have. So,
you give me what I want. Make me what I was... so Buffy can get what she deserves.”
Spike should have know to be careful what he wished for. He had known vengeance
demons for Christ sake. The Demon leaned out from the shadows a bit and with
what could only be called a smirk it said, “Very well. We will return your soul.”
It touched Spikes chest and he began to scream in agony

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Buffy woke up screaming. She had not been there when he got his soul. How could she be dreaming something she had not seen, She saw and felt it from Spike’s point of view. He went through that for her. She felt his love and pain for her. She started wondering if part of him WAS in her, still with her after the dust.

*****************************************

Flashback:

Buffy revealing Spike’s scarred chest “What did you do?” she asked softly. “I tried... I... tried to cut it out.” Spike whispered as if telling a secret.

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Again she awoke. Another one from Spike’s perspective. She then realized that each dream she had since that day he turned to dust to save the world was through his eyes and not her own. What were the dreams telling her, What was she to learn from them, It was getting time to tell the others and find out what was happening to her.

*****************************************

Flashback:

Spike spoke to Buffy thinking she was not really there. “I dreamed of killing you. I think they were dreams. So weak. Did you make me weak, thinking of you, holding myself, and spilling useless buckets of salt over your... ending, Angel--he should've warned me. He makes a good show of forgetting, but it's here, in me, all the time. The spark. I wanted to give you what you deserve, and I got it. They put the spark in me and now all it does is burn.” Buffy gasp and whispered, “Your soul.” Spike was almost lucid as he replied, “Bit worse for lack of use.”

Buffy was amazed. “You got your soul back. How?” she asked. She had to know this wasn’t another trick. Spike was frustrated and passed running his had through his hair, “ It's what you wanted, right?” he asked and looking at the ceiling calming before continuing, “It's what you wanted, right, And--and now everybody's in here, talking. Everything I did...everyone I-- and him... and it... the other, the thing beneath--beneath you. It's here too. Everybody. They all just tell me go... go... to hell.” Buffy was shocked that he would do this, “Why, Why would you do that?” She asked. Spike had gone back into himself. He thought he was dreaming again as he answered her. “Buffy, shame on you. Why does a man do what he mustn't, For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would nev” He chokes up “to be a kind of man.” He approaches the alter & a giant cross. “ She shall look on him with forgiveness, and everybody will forgive and love. He will be loved. So everything's OK, right?” He rests on the cross, his flesh starts to smoke “ Can--can we rest now, Buffy...can we rest?”

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She awoke crying again feeling the pain so vividly. Why was this happening, Was it a demon or The PTB, Was it Spike haunting her for denying the one thing he had wanted his whole existence, some one to love him the way he loved them, In the end she still was not sure if she could love like that. She didn’t know how. Maybe that was what she was to do, learn to love with her whole being like he did.

*****************************************
Flashback:

”Have you ever really asked yourself why you can't do it, Off me, After everything I've done to you, to people around you. It's not love. We both know that.” Spike said as he tried to make Buffy kill him. “You fought by my side. You've saved lives. You've helped” she explained. Spike shook his head, “Don't do that. Don’t rationalize this into some noble act. We both know the truth of it. You like men who hurt you.” He said panting. “ No.” Buffy denied his accusation.

”You need the pain we cause you. You need the hate. You need it to do your job, to be the slayer.” Spike explain it even as he knew he was making her mad he still hoped she would end him. “No. I don't hate like that. Not you, or myself. Not anymore. You think you have insight now because your soul's drenched in blood, You don't know me. You don't even know you. Was that you who killed those people in the cellar, Was that you who waited for those girls?” She said. That was why he wanted her to stake him. As dust he could no longer cause he this pain, “There's no one else.” He said sadly.

“That's not true. Listen to me. You're not alive because of hate or pain. You're alive because I saw you change. Because I saw your penance.” Buffy told him. Spike lunges violently at her, but chains hold him back, “Window dressing.” Buffy knows what he is trying to do. “Be easier, wouldn't it, it if were an act, but it's not. You faced the monster inside of you and you fought back. You risked everything to be a better man.” She said. She tried to get him to believe her. “Buffy...” Spike said as his heart over rode what his mind was trying to do. “And you can be. You are. You may not see it, but I do. I do. I believe in you, Spike.” Buffy said as she touched his cheek.

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That was the closest she had come to admitting how she felt and it had scarred her. To fell what he felt made her both afraid and happy at the same time. The pain and self-loathing he felt about all that had happened, the hurt as he tried to convince himself it was not love, the pride at her simple words of faith in him. It was all a bit too much for her to handle. Today she would tell Willow and Dawn. Together they would tell Giles and Xander. Then maybe the Scoobies could figure this all out and she could know why.
*****************************************
Flashback:

Buffy looked up at Spike “No, you have to stay.” Spike smiled sadly, “You've got another demon fighter now.” Buffy shook her head, “That's not why I need you here.” Spike felt hope bubbling up at her words, “Is that right, Why's that then?” he asked. “'Cause I'm not ready for you to not be here.” She said surprising them both.

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She smiled as she felt the hope rise in him at her words. It’s amazing how a simple word from one person can change us so.

*****************************************

Flashback:

”I don’t know! I’ll know when I’m done saying it. Something pissed me off and I just, unattainable! That’s it.” Spike said trying to explain it to her. “ Fine. I’m attainable. I’m an attain-athon. Can I please just go to sleep?” Buffy asked.

”You listen to me. I’ve been alive a bit longer than you and dead a lot longer than that. I’ve seen things you couldn’t imagine and done things I’d prefer you didn’t. I don’t exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood which doesn’t exactly rush in the direction of my brain so I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred plus years and there’s only one thing I’ve ever been sure of. You. Hey, look at me. I’m not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it’s not because I want you, or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are.” He paused in his explanation. The look in his eyes made her heart skip a beat. “You are a hell of a woman. You’re the one, Buffy.”

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How could he be the one to see her so clearly. He knew her better than anyone. He was the one who never left, the one who did not tell her what she was or how she should be. He was the only one who saw both Buffy and the Slayer and excepted her for both.

Her mother loved her but not even she understood her. Spike was the only one who took the time to get to know the real Buffy, the whole package. Now that he was gone she wondered if anyone would take the time to make that effort again. She also wondered if she could let anyone that close again. People always leave, those that don’t die anyway. She had dealt with lose before but with Spike it felt as if part of her died along with him, part of her soul.

*****************************************
Flashback:

Buffy look at Spike and said, “You’re a dope!” Spike looked at her like she had gone around the bend. “I’m a what?” He asked. “You’re a dope and a bonehead and you’re shirty!” She said. Spike missed the fact that she had used one of his words as he looked at her and asked, “Have you gone completely Carrot-Top?”

Buffy lifted the scythe, “Do you see this, This may actually help me fight my war. This might be the key to everything. And the reason I’m holding it is because of you. Because of the strength that you gave me last night. I am tired of defensiveness and weird mixed signals. You know what, I have Faith for that. Let’s just get to the truth here, okay, I don’t know how you felt about last night but I will not,” Spike cut her off answering her, “ Terrified.” Buffy looked confused, “Of what?” she asked.

Spike ran his had through his hair. “Last night was” He felt William stirring again, “God, I’m such a jerk. I can’t do this.” He said. Buffy’s voice was soft as she spoke, “Spike,” He sighed, “It was the best night of my life. If you poke fun at me, you bloody well better use that, cause I couldn’t bear it. It may not mean that much to you but,” She looked at him as if he had not heard a word she had said, “I just told you it did.” She defended.

Spike looked more frustrated and sighed again, “Yeah, I hear you say it but, I’ve lived for sodden, ever, Buffy. I’ve done everything. I’ve done things with you I can’t spell, but I’ve never been close, to anyone. Least of all you. Until last night. All I did was hold you, watch you sleep, and it was the best night of my life. So yeah, I’m terrified.”

Buffy wanted to tell him what she felt but she couldn’t. “You don’t have to be.” She said softly. “Were you there with me?” he asked. “I was.” She said in almost a whisper. Spike wanted her to actually say it, “What does that mean?” he asked.
Buffy sighed in frustration this time, “I don’t know. Does it have to mean something?” She asked.

Spike knew she wasn’t going to say it so he let her off the hook, “No, not right now.” Buffy looked at him as started to promise, “Maybe when,” Spike couldn’t take it, “No, let’s just leave it.” He said. Buffy looked down at the floor, “Okay.” Spike started toward the door, “We’ll go be heroes.” He said as he walked out.
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If she had learned one thing from this experience it was to never leave things unsaid. If you do the chance to say them may pass.

*****************************************
Flashback:

Spike vents on a punching bag; Buffy comes down the basement stairs. “ So, where’s tall, dark and forehead?” he asked and wanted to curse himself for the jealousy in his voice. Buffy rolled her eyes, “Let me guess. You can smell him.” She asked. Spike looked at her and with sarcasm dripping from his voice said, “Yeah, that and I also used my enhanced vampire eyeballs to watch you kissing him.” Buffy then understood his attitude, but felt the need to defend herself, “It was, a hello.” Spike stared at her like she had grown another head, “Most people don’t use their tongues to say hello.” He paused thinking of what he said, “Or I guess they do but,” Buffy interrupted defensively, “There were no tongues. Besides, he’s gone.” Her voice had softened but Spike was still angry. “Oh, just popped by for a quickie, then?” he asked.

Buffy was getting angry too, “Good, good! I haven’t had quite enough jealous vampire crap for one night.” She was thinking of the crap she had gotten from Angel earlier and it bugged her. “He wears lifts, you know.” Spike said quietly.


Buffy leans up against the punching bag, then notices a cartoon picture of a vampire with spiky hair taped to it and rolls her eyes. “You know, one of these days I’m just going to put you two in a room and let you wrestle it out.” She said. “No problem at this end.” Spike agreed. Buffy got a dreamy look on her face and Spike was shocked to smell her arousal, “There could be oil of some kind involved,” she said.

Spike decided to change the subject before he either hit her or fucked her. “ Where’s the trinket?” he asked. Buffy was confused. She had just been imagining her vamps wrestling covered in oil, “The who-ket?” she asked. Spike sighed, “The pretty necklace your sweetie-bear gave you. The one with all the power. I believe it’s mine now.” He said confidently. Buffy looked at him, “How do you figure?” she asked. “Someone with a soul but more than human, Angel meant to wear it. That means I’m the qualified party.” He explained as he held out his hand for it.

Buffy was worried, “It’s volatile. We don’t know,” she was afraid of what it might do to Spike. “You’ll be needing someone strong to bear it, then. You plan on giving it to Andrew?” he asked sarcastically. “Angel said the amulet was meant to be worn by a champion.” Buffy said. Spike's hand drops, defeated, but Buffy advances and gives it to him.

Spike looks up at her realizing what she just said. “Been called a lot of things in my time...” he started. Buffy interrupted him and suggestively said, “Faith still has my room,” Spike was indignant and she said, “Well, you’re not staying here! You can’t buy me off with shiny beads and sweet talk. You’ve got Angel-breath. I’m not going to just let you whack me back and forth like a rubber ball. I got my pride, you know.” Buffy looked down at the floor, “I understand.” She turns to go but Spike runs around in front of her, blocking her way.

”Clearly you don’t, ,cause the whole ,having my pride, thing was just a smokescreen.” He said. Buffy smiled, “Oh, thank god!” Spike looked into her eyes, “I don’t know what I would have done if you’d gone up those stairs”

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Buffy smiled. She didn’t know what she would have done if he had let her. She had been so confused and then Angel showed up and stirred up more confusion. She still was not sure what she meant by kissing him. Maybe she was hoping it would drive away her need for Spike. It didn’t, it only made her feeling for the bleached vampire more complicated. She knew when she kissed Angel that last time that she would always love him the way a child loves her dream price charming but there was no heat, no passion. With Spike she felt his love with every touch, every look. Angel was a fantasy that the real thing could never live up to, she was certain now that she was the same for him.

***************************************** Flashback:

Spike had a look of awe on his face as he said, “I can feel it, Buffy.” “What?” she asked as she watched him begin to glow brighter and brighter. “My soul. It’s really there. It kind of stings.” He replied.

(...later...)
“Go on, then.” Spike said. Buffy did not want to lose anyone else and especially not Spike. “No! No, you’ve done enough! You could still,” she pleaded. Spike smiled, “No, you’ve beaten them back. It’s for me to do the cleanup.”

Faith yelled, “Buffy, come on!” Spike spoke softer as he said, “Gotta move, lamb. I think it’s fair to say, school’s out for the bloody summer.” It was pure Spike. Only he could joke at a time like this. “Spike!” Buffy pleaded again. “I mean it! I gotta do this.” He said firmly. Buffy reaches for his outstretched hand, their fingers lace, then burst into flame. Buffy finally found the courage to say the words, “I love you.” Spike smiled, “No, you don’t. But thanks for saying it. Now go!” It hurt that he would deny her feelings after everything. She knew she had to get out to protect her sister so she reluctantly left the burning vampire behind.

“I want to see how it ends.” Spike says as he starts to laugh. He's still laughing as he breaks into dust, taking the hellmouth and Sunnydale with him.

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Normally this is where Buffy would wake up and be screaming in pain from the burning she felt in the dream. Instead she found herself in darkness. A light suddenly came on and she saw it get closer. It took form and became human shaped. Another joined it. They were blue and Buffy felt an odd kind of peace in their presence.

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“Do not fear chosen one. We come in peace. We are messengers. Oracles if you like.”
Buffy listened as the twins finished each other’s sentences and some times spoke as one.

“The powers wish you to know that they are well please with you. They are sorry for your loses and honor your sacrifices. Angelus has been given may gifts and refused them all. You both were granted a gift and he was made human. It was the one thing he had longed for since regaining his soul. he did not trust in himself enough and decide to take the day back he thought that by doing so he would be able to save you from your foretold death. We did not know when or how just that you would die in your duty.” Buffy could say nothing as she listened to them speak.

“William surprised us by receiving his soul. It was prophesied that the Vampire with a soul and the slayer twice dead would reward each other. What the power did not let be know is the two souls were already bound together. Entwined as one from the beginning of time You and Spike are linked and meant to be one that is what the dreams tell you That is what you fought so hard against that is what was between you”

“It was not love it was more you were soul mates just as he is linked to you, you are linked to him you both have given much but don’t give up on him or yourself. Your connection transcends the grave part of his test was the act in the hellmouth he gave up more than his life in that moment he gave up the gift you gave him in your word he gave them up not out of disbelief but of love for you he has one more test and then he will get a reward as a gift to you he will be returned”

“It is up to him to choose to accept as it was up to Angelus. If he refuses to take what is given another will come to give you what you need and deserve. You will wake soon and only remember what you need to know now. But you will be more at peace from now on return chosen one and see to your duties. You will have help from now on but they will need you more than you can ever guess “One last thing, learn more about the vampires you hunt learning their nature will help you understand yours better”

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Buffy woke up from the dream panting. She struggled but could not remember everything. She wrote down what she could remember and called an emergency meeting.

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After telling everyone what was going on they started research. It was eventually put on the back burner as the needs of Slayers and the starting of a new Council took precedence. During the nest six months Buffy, Faith and the newest Slayers adjusted to the changes they faced.

For the new Slayers it was training and learning their new abilities and how to handle them. They also had school just like any other girls their age with the big difference being that they learned the true histories and demonology. Extra curricular activities such as Magic 101 and martial arts. For the Slayers with experience it was learning to handle the changes with in themselves.

Buffy and Faith felt stronger, their senses more acute, and their speed increased. They also noticed the way they interacted with the other slayers changed. A natural social structure developed almost like in a wolf pack with Buffy and Faith as the Alphas, all the Slayer instinctively new that Buffy was the Queen of the pack, The Master Slayer. Through research they learned that the demon the created the first slayer was of a similar race to the one that created vampires. The social structure was natural for the demon that was part of them all. It also explained the pull the vampires had on them.

Once thing were settled into a routine Buffy became restless. She was having more dreams about things. She dreamed not only about her past but also about all those who came before her. She still dreamed about Spike and had memory dreams about his life. No one had been able to find out why. Finally she told Giles she needed some time to find herself again. He agreed and Faith was to watch the clan while she was gone. She checked in often to see how everyone was and if need be they could call her. She traveled back to the states, pulled by an unseen force. She was not sure what she was looking for but she knew she could not be at peace until she found it.