Chapter 1 Partings


"We've got to go"


"Where? they've got both the back and front closed off."


"Then go through the tunnels, you know the way, the ones we went through before."
"Take the same path and get on the ship."

The pounding is getting louder and the sound of gun shots is heard. Time is running out.

"Luv you go to go."


"I think they're going to..."


"Be quiet.......
"When I tell you to go, go and don't look back." "Do you hear me?"


"What about you?"


"What did I say? Don't look back..." he looked into her eyes one last time.


"I'll find you; no matter where you are I'll find you...... GO!"


But she did look back. "I love you."


"I love you to baby now GO!!"

~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~*
Without you
Within me
I can't find no rest
Were I'm
going
Is anybodies guess.
~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~*
Incomplete

Chapter 2 Beautiful Stranger


~Ninety- two years later~


“Give me your hand.” He said to her.


Looking at him like he had two head instead of the one on his sholders.


“Why?”

“Because I want to drag you off and murder you" he said sarcastically


"Well that could very well be true since I have no clue who you are, and how you got here."


Something told her he was somewhat safe. He had a dangerous gleam in his eyes but for some reason she couldn't say no.


Maybe it was his crystal clear baby blue eyes that made her trust him.


She looked at him curiously, and then sighed. She reached her hand out and he grasped it tightly. He pulled her up with him. She walked with him until they reached the top of the hill. She stood in front of him with a curious look on her face.


Now she was really confused, this was not what she expected.


What did she expect?


He turned around and looked at the view. The rock they were standing on was perched high above a lake. The moon was full and it reflected off the water, illuminating everything around them. He pointed out towards the water.

"It's a lake."


"You don't say."


"It's really nice but why are you showing me this?"


Taking her eyes from his for a minute to really look at the view, which was really beautiful by the way.


"Because you needed to see it."


"What do......?”


When she turned around he was already gone.

There was no possible way any one could move that fast, she'd only turned her back for a few seconds.
And she would have heard him leave, they were on a hill.

~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~*
I tried
To go on like I never knew you
I'm awake
But my world is half asleep
~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~*
When she woke the next morning it was still on her mind.


How weird was the whole thing, She didn't even know his name or where he lived.


He just vanished.


The whole reason she was alone in the park to begin with was a little disturbing, especially what she was about to do.
For some reason I feel like I know him. Or maybe I just wish I did.


If he didn't show up when he did......


"Let’s not try to think about it just one day at a time."


"Breath... just breath."


“Lets just start with a shower and then off to school I go."

Elizabeth never fit in. No matter where she was or who she was with she just felt out of place.

It's not like she was an unattractive person it was exactly the opposite. She was beautiful, long wavy blond hair that spilled over sholders and light vibratent green eyes. Though behind those eyes you could see something missing closed of to the rest of the world.
Stepping into Sunnydale high she were she put her mask on the most.

It was pretty much hell everyday, and how she made it to her senior year was beyond her.


“God… I hate my life.” She exhaled noisily as she banged her head against the door before standing up.

Slowly, she turned the faucet and let the water run for a while before splashing her face with the crystal liquid. She looked up at the mirror to see her pathetic, soaked expression staring back at her. She shook her head and closed her eyes for a second, searching for the courage to leave that bathroom.

"Your last year, then you’re done with Sunnydale..."
With one last look she left the girls room.

The days passed and eventually the looks thrown in Buffy’s direction lessened. She walked briskly through the halls, clutching her books against her chest as she looked at her watch. She sighed in relief when she reached her destination and stood quietly. School was over with hours ago and the sun had just set.

Staying after to make up exams because what happened last year was over with today and that made her feel lighter some how.
~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~*

He watched from a distance as she walked home alone.


He had been doing this for a while now, and sometimes he swore she knew he was there,
watching her from a distance.

And she should be able to; she always knew when he was there. One of the things he loves about her.


~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~*

"I know your there, show yourself."

“Well hello love,” A deep voice coming from behind the slayer said." “Out for a stroll?” The owner of the voice

questioned conversationally. Whipping her head around so that she was facing the voice.


It was him the same gorgeous cerulean blue eyes, well defined cheekbones, and bleached blonde hair. Buffy’s eyes moved downwards and stared at his abs, hidden
beneath his flowing leather duster and tight black shirt were obviously well defined, as were his arms.


“So are you going to stare all night love?" not that he hadn't been doing the same.

"Don't fatter your self, and the question is why were you following me?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 2 Questions and vague answers


"Don't flatter your self, and the question is why were you following me?"

"What makes you think I was following you pet?"

"Your bright hair kinda gave you away."

"And what makes you think I wasn't out for nightly stroll?" He asked smirking.

Some how that smirk seemed familiar.

"Because you don't seem like the type to take late night strolls."

"And what type might I be?"

"The type th.... you know what stop answering my questions with questions it's annoying."

He did nothing but give her another smug smirk which was really irritating.

“You know what I don’t care what you have to say, just stay away from me got it!”

"Well what if I don’t want to leave you alone luv?"

“Well why wouldn’t you want to leave me lone? You know what the annoying thing is with you, when ever I want to be alone you appear out of no where and then magically disappear in the middle of the conversation.” She rambled on. “And why were you out there that night anyway?” She asked out of no where.

“Which question do you want me to answer first pet?”

“Oh I don’t know all of them.”

He smiled, a real smile and something tells me he doesn’t do that very often. It looked nice on him not that anything would look bad on this stranger.

“Well pet I’ll only answer one of your questions and the answer to that question is I was looking for you.”

“You were looking for me?”

“Isn’t that what I said pet.”

“Yes but why would you be looking for me I don’t know you and you don’t know me.”

“Luv you may not know me but I know you.”

“See your doing it again your answering my questions without really answering them.”

”I guess I am pet.” He said circling her.


“Well stop which the cryptic talk, and stop circling me like a vulture!”


“It’s pretty late out luv, shouldn’t you be getting home?”

“And there you go again with the changing of the subject; I’ll get home when I get home.”

“Well maybe the time to get home is now kitten.”

“And why is that?”

“Because there are all kinds of big bads out and about pet, who wouldn’t mind getting a piece of ya.”

“Well don’t worry I can take care of my self.”

“Oh I have no doubt pet”

There was something about him the scream danger, but for some reason she didn’t feel threatened by him
she was some what uneasy around him but it wasn’t because she thought he would hurt her. He was gorgeous his every move
oozed sex appeal the very air around him spoke of a silent confidence.

“Get home pet.” He said turning around to leave.

But before he could she asked almost in a whisper but he heard it. “How do you know me?”

“Now that pet is a tale for another time.”

“So I’ll see you again?”

“Count on it” he said almost vanishing into the shadows as if he himself was a shadow.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~



How does he know me? And for some reason she didn’t think he was messin with her the way he looked at her and talked to
Her it was kinda intimate as if they’ve known each other for quite some time.
But there was no way she would have ever forgotten someone like him it was just impossible.


When they did meet again she would get her answers that was for sure.


Walking up to her driveway she saw her dad’s car.
“Great just what I need another fun filled night of my drunken dad, can’t wait.”


Walking up to the door she could hear screaming. Which in her house was a normal thing.
Her parents never got along if they weren’t fighting about money they were arguing about her.


Some day she was happy she had to go to school, the place she could pretend she was a normal girl.

Coming home to her reality was depressing.

Not bothering to announce her presence she went straight up stairs. And into the refuge of her bedroom.

Checking her answering machine see saw Willow called.

Willow was the only one at Sunnydale high she could tolerate; the shy red head was sweet and sincere.
All was bubbly and full of energy.

She could bring a good mood out of anyone and for Buffy that was needed.

She listened to the message basically of Willow begging her to go to the bronze with her tomorrow night because
Oz was supposed to be playing.

Oz was a guy that Willow was crushin on.

He seems like a nice guy, last week I finally talked her into to introducing herself and they actually hit it off.

She didn’t want to feel like the third wheel. But Will sounds so excited.

“I guess I stop by for a little while, it better than staying here and listening to them all night.”


Changing into her pjs and slipping into bed her mind went back to the mysterious guy. Maybe he would be at the bronze tomorrow.

As she drifted off to sleep all she could see were those crystal clear baby blue eyes.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete
I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Incomplete

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N Hey guys I need reviews tell me what you think.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~Chapter 3 Heated Feelings~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

School was pretty good which was a surprise. Usually each day felt eternal. Maybe because she hadn’t seen Snyder, either way everything was good.

Now she was standing in front of her closet deciding what to wear.

Usually she could pick a casual outfit that made a statement when going out with Willow, but tonight she wanted to look good, not just good but sexy.
And it’s not because what’s his face might be there, it’s just because tonight she feel like being sexy. Yeah right.

She decided on the red backless beaded tie top and navy blue fitted jeans and her favorite pair of black boots.

The outfit made a definite statement but was still comfy.
Making soft waves in her hair and clipping some back letting some frame her face. Her make up was light only adding a bit of mascara
And a little bit of lip gloss.

She phoned Willow telling her that she is on her way and would meet her at the bronze.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The bronze was packed which for a Wednesday was pretty normal but to night was packed maybe because the Dingos were playing tonight.

Finding Will wasn’t all that hard as she thought it would be.

The red head was close to the stage bouncing up and down to the music turning around and seeing Buffy make her way through the crowd she waved me over.

“Hey you’re here!”

Smile at an obviously hyper Will. “Of course, I said I would didn’t I.”

“Yeah I know, I’m just you know Oz on the stage singing equals happy Willow.”

Laughin “yeah I know, I’m gonna get something to drink you want?”

No thanks I already had a cappuccino and I’m all crazy Willow so probably not a good idea.”

Smiling to myself, it was so cutie how Willow got when ever she and Oz were together. She was sometime jealous of them, not in a real negative way. It’s just sometime she wished she had someone.
It’s not like she hadn’t been asked out since coming to Sunnydale, there were a few guys but it never felt right.

She could remember the days when her life was care free and happy, she was something like Willow at her old school but popular.

But ever since coming to Sunnydale everything just went down hill.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


"Buffy? Are you still here in the same world with us?"

"Yeah," she said absently. "I'm...yeah. Sure." She shook her head and looked at her friend. "Why wouldn't I be?"

“Because I just asked you if you were ok three times and you didn’t say anything.”

"Oh...sorry," Buffy said, her voice sounding weird to her own ears.

“It’s I just got this feeling….”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing…. It’s nothing maybe It's just the heat or something.”

“If you’re sure your ok…

“Yes I’m fine go dance.”

“Why don’t you come with?”

“No I’ll sit this one out.”

“Ok.”

That was defiantly not normal, she was just sitting there when all of a sudden it felt like someone had a heating lamp on her neck and was slowly trailing there hands from her neck down her back.

The feeling alone took her breath away.

If she told Willow that she would probably think she had gone crazy.

Maybe she was slowly losing her mind.

Off in her own little world she didn’t notice someone approach.

“Hello, luv,” a deep voice rumbled in Buffy’s ear causing her to shiver. She spun around and green met blue. She furrowed her brow wondering how he always seemed to just appear out of no where.


She couldn’t help the excitement that flowed through her at seeing him. It was then she noticed the feelings she had earlier were back again and they were stronger.


He grinned saucily. “Speechless I see.”

Finally hearing his words she replied. “Not really.”

“What are you doing here?” Stupid question yes but she was caught off guard.

“Looking for you pet.”

“And how do you always seem to know where I am?”

“That I think I'll keep my little secret.”

“Are you some kind of stocker or something?”

Smirking he said “Or something.”

”Well that’s just what I need right now.”
“Well being as though your always following me do you think I could get a name?”

“Spike”

“Spike?” “Your mother named you Spike?”

“Like Buffy is any better?”

“Well at lea…”

Standing up walking closer to him

“I never told you my name was.”

“No you didn’t”

“So you want to tell me how you know my name.”

“Because I know you Buffy”

“I’m pretty sure you don’t, I don’t think I could forget someone like you”

For some reason Spike winced, and he actually seemed sad.

“But you did kitten” he said caressing her cheek.

Just then Willow yelled her name from the dance floor coming toward her.

Turning back to spike he was gone.

Scanning the crowd she could see him making his was toward the exit.

“Hey Buffy”

“Who was that you were talkin to?”

“Wills I gotta go I’ll talk to you at school tomorrow, I promise.”

“You better”

“Tell Oz he was great ok, bye.”

Getting through the crowd was a nightmare but she did it in record time by the time she made it out of the club he was just rounding the corner.
Deciding it would be a better idea if she just followed him instead of announcing her presence. That’s exactly what she did.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He was walking sin, pure and simple. No one should look that sexy just walking it was ridiculous. But true.

As she followed him she noticed the direction he was heading was the really nice part of Sunnydale. Sunnydale within it’s self was a really good place, but this particular area the houses and she used the term lightly they were more like mansions.

About five minutes later he turned toward the biggest house on the block.

She was surprised; he didn’t seem like the type to own such a luxurious home. He seemed like a simplistic person.

Little did she know that Spike was far from that. And that Spike was very aware of her presence.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Spike couldn't say what he felt at the moment. His golden girl was following him, she sought him out. He had dreamt of her, every night for about a hundred years. She didn't even know what she'd done for him that night. She'd freed him, and changed him forever.

The night he saw her for the first time since that night ninety two years ago, he had been more than shocked.

Not that he should have been.

He knew she would come back to him. And his bright angel did.

The only negative is she wouldn’t remember him or her life before this one.

She wouldn’t remember the first time they meet.

~*He laughed softly, drawing her attention. "What is it?" She asked, loving the way the light made his eyes twinkle.

" I still don't know your name."

“What do you mean still, we’ve just meet.” She said smiling.

Not really love we’ve seen each other a few times just never got the chance to introduce ourselves.

"Elizabeth, but my friends call me Buffy."~*

From that moment he knew she was the only woman for him, and there would never be another. And there never was.

He'd missed her. Hadn't realized how much till she was looking at him, that night he had stopped her. He didn’t really think she would have gone through with it, she was strong. But the fact that anything in her life could drive her to even think that it was the only way out had him more than enraged.
Those clear hazel eyes looking up at him confused but yet trusting. He'd missed hearing her laugh. He missed watching the way her breath would catch when he touched something sensitive on her body.

Now she was coming to him and she didn’t even realize it. She was drawn to him, but he was sure she didn’t understand it.

But he sure a hell did, she was his mate, his mate. God, it was over. How could he control himself things were different he was different, and he had no intention of let her go.

He'd found his mate again, she was so young she couldn’t be more than seventeen. Not that the demon cared; it screaming and clawing at him to tie his mate to him forever. To never leave her side, to give her everything her heart desired. And he would, soon.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike stopped in front of the drive way and his eyes fell shut and he expelled a deep breath.

“Are you coming inside with me pet, or did you just want to know where I lived?”

She froze in her spot.

“You knew all this time that I was following you.”

“I always know when you near luv”

Finally having enough of the cryptic talk she asked “What does that mean”

Walking up to him to face him she asked.

“Who am I to you?”

“I know you from some where, I just can’t remember.”

“You’re my everything.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N I know I evil but I just had to do it, I will update as soon as possible
I’m very tired right now it’s 2:04 am right now so. Goodnight and don’t forget to send your reviews.
I need reviews, that’s my motivation to update quicker.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 4 Your not ready yet, but.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Buffy's cheeks flamed scarlet as her eyes darted nervously around. “I don’t understand,” she said a minute later, suddenly startling aware of his proximity. “Why? I mean, I’m seventeen years old I’m … I’m just me there’s nothing special about me.

“How can I be you’re everything, or anybody’s anything at that?”


“You’re daft if you really believe that,” Spike retorted dryly.

“Well, then I guess I’m daft, or whatever you just said… What does that mean anyway?”


“You’d have to be deaf, an’ blind not to see how bloody amazin’ you are. You’re remarkable an’ you don’ know it.”

“Every day I see you tryin hard to put a good face for your mates, even when you’re at you’re worst.”
“You haven’t changed one bit”

“Changed from what? You know what I’m being to think you’re a figment of my imagination....or am I one of yours?"

“Because this person you think I am doesn’t exist and if she does it not me, you’re confused.”

“I’m far from confused baby.” But maybe she doesn’t remember for a reason or maybe she just needs time, well it just so happens that time is something I have a lot of.

“You want to finish this conversation inside luv?”

“I shouldn’t… it’s getting late I should probably be getting home.”

“I suspected as much pet, don’t think you could be alone with me without wanting to…

“Oh will you get over yourself”

He was laughing now.

“It’s really late, and I need to get home before my dad gets home”

“How’s things at home been?”

Looking at him as if he’d just grown an extra head... “What do you mean how are things?” she looked down and away. Then, she shrugged “there fine”

He knew how her father was; a few days ago while he’d been under her window he’d hear the argument between Buffy and her father. It took everything in him to not kill the son of a bitch when he walked out the door to his car. The things he said to her no child should ever hear them from the lips of their father.
It didn’t take a genius to see that Buffy and her father had a very bad relationship; it left him wondering how bad it really was.

Maybe there were day’s worse that what he just witnessed. What scared him the most is that Buffy lead the outside world to believe that she was happy that she was fine and that couldn’t be further from the truth.

That night he stayed under her window listening to his angel cry herself to sleep. Even after she fell asleep he stayed under her window and didn’t leave until fifteen minutes to sunrise.

“I’m always here pet if you ever need anything; even if it’s just to talk, I’m here”

“This is insane”

“What’s so insane about it luv”

“It’s insane that you a person a barely know, seems to know more about me than my own parents.”

“So now you believe me luv?”

“I never said I didn’t, it’s just a little too much to digest right now”

Well what about you come by after school tomorrow, you can drop by and we could talk.”

“Talk”

“Yeah pet talk, unless you have something else in mind”

And there was that damn smirk again, yet it was comforting. Lighting the thick atmosphere, that was just around them.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” she smiled.

“Know me all too well, luv,” he remarked, enjoying seeing her smile again.

“I should go” maybe saying the words would make her legs move.

“I could walk you home luv”

“No.”

“Really I don’t mind”

“No it’s ok”

“Why didn’t you want me to know where you live?”

“It’s not that”

“Good because I already know.”

“And it’s weird, but I’m not surprised, you probably know my birthday to.”

“January 20th” He said without even thinking.

“Ok on that note I gotta go.”

“Alright pet but if anything happens don’t hesitate, come back here ok.”

All she could do was nod before turning in the opposite direction, before turning the corner she looked back and smiled. “Thanks Spike.’”

“Your welcome pet, good night.” And with that she disappeared around the corner.

He was going to follow her, but he knew she would be fine.

Finally making it up to his door he replayed the entire conversation he had with Buffy and it hadn’t went bad. I had actually gone pretty well. She didn’t seem too fazed with the fact that he had known where she lived.

He was kinda nervous about tomorrow now. He wanted everything to go perfectly. Walking inside he looked around and blew off.

“Everything has to be perfect tomorrow”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She made it back home in record time, running the entire time probably helped.

Walking up the drive way she could see that her dad’s car was no where in sight which means she didn’t have to go through the window tonight.

Using her key, she opened the door and went up stairs to her room.

Everything night flashed in her mind.

She had hoped he would show up, but she didn’t dare think things would have ended up the way they did.

The way he looked at her, talked to her left her breathless. She couldn’t help but feel giddy, she liked him.
I mean what was there not to like.

That night was the first time she had a dream about Spike, and it wasn’t a normal dream it felt real as if it was happening or it did happen and she was remembering it all.

~*Dream sequence*~

A soft rumble stilled her hand, and Buffy looked up and met her Spike’s intense gaze. His eyes communicated everything she needed to know through one look, she felt his passion, love, and his fears.


Everything he was doing and she was feeling left her feeling complete and whole. The sensations she felt were almost too much. There were times when his touch was as gentle as could be, but there were as times where he would get aggressive and passionate. Were his hands roamed over her tasting and touching until her brain could comprehend what was happening to her.

She loved every minute of it, he wanted to posses her and she needed to possess Spike.

"So beautiful," he whispered against her skin.

"I love you" he whispered. "You're my angel.”


The sound of his voice in that heavenly tortured tone was pushing him over the edge of sanity.

His fingers continued their tender torture, making Buffy writhe and pant beneath him.

"Elizabeth?" he breathed. "Touch me, baby. I need you to touch me.”

Staring dreamily up into his beautiful face, she whispered “I will William.”

*(I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight - Cutting Crew *
Oh, I just died in your arms tonight
It must've been something you said,
I just died in your arms tonight
Oh, I just died in your arms tonight
It must've been some kind of kiss
I should've walked away, I should've walked away

*~End of Dream sequence~*

She woke from her sleep.

Her alarm went off “Damn.”

“Who the hell is William?” The man in her dream was defiantly Spike the only difference was his hair was slightly longer and it wasn’t bleached, his hair was also curly other than that everything else looked the same.

And he called her Elizabeth.

That was her real name, but no one really called her that any more. Not since LA.

Blowing off, she got ready for school.


Is there any just cause for feeling like this
On the surface I'm a name on a list
I try to be discreet, but then blow it again
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

ACROSS TOWN

Spike woke up from the very same dream, smiling he remembered that night clearly, it was one of the best nights of his life.

And if everything went as he thought it did, Buffy just dreamt of there first night together.

Soon she would remember everything.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I've lost and found, it's my final mistake
She's loving by proxy, no give and all take
'Cause I've been thrilled to fantasy one too many times

It was a long hot night
She made it easy, she made it feel right
But now it's over, the moment is gone
I followed my hands, not my head, I know I was wrong


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N
I know I said the chapters would get longer and they will. I just wanted to give you guys something incase I won't be able to update again this week.
I'm pretty sure I will be but just incase.
Reviews please.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 5 These dreams

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

These Dreams - Heart
Spare a little candle
Save some light for me
Figures up ahead
Moving in the trees
White skin in linen
Perfume on my wrist
And the full moon that hangs over
These dreams in the mist

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She was in history class but if you asked her what the teacher was saying, she couldn’t tell you. The teacher’s mouth was moving but there was no sound coming out, not that she minded now she could day dream in peace.

And day dream she did.

Her dream was so vivid that she almost believed that it actually happened.
But that would be impossible. Wasn’t it?


Maybe it was because of her conversation with Spike that triggered the dream. It was a possibility.

She could believe her life right now one month ago she had no one and she could even imagine her life being as it is now.
So much was happening so fast, now what she had to do was sit back and try to figure some things out. Not that she would figure much out, but wishful thinking never hurt anyone.

Even though she was convinced that William and Spike was the same person, there were differences not physical but there was a difference. The way William spoke was a bit softer, gentle, and a little unsure. But you could still see a little of that in Spike.

It seemed as if Spike tried to keep that part of him self closed off. Not that she knew him or something or maybe she did and couldn’t remember.

It felt like she knew him but just couldn’t …

“Miss Summers.”

“If you could be so kind as to read the next passage…”

“Huh… oh yeah of course, what page would that be by the way?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Darkness on the edge
Shadows where I stand

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She had to stay after school but didn’t want to, deciding to just go home that’s what she did.

To her surprise no one was home.

It wasn’t really a surprise during the weekdays her parents were pretty busy, which was ok with her it meant she could get in a few hours of peace and quiet.

Going into the kitchen to fix some thing to eat her mind went back to Spike.

Tonight she was supposed to go and see him.

She was beyond nervous.

They would finally have a chance to sit down and actually have a real conversation, were she could ask the questions she wanted to.

But some of the things she wanted to ask were kinda personal and maybe a little embarrassing, now her stomach was filled with butterflies she had to stop eating.

Maybe she should go pick out an outfit for later. Putting her plate in the sink she went up stairs.

After an hour and a half of picking and choosing she decided to go casual picking a fitted black v neck top and dark blue jeans, finishing the outfit off with black boots.

She had a little time before she had to get ready so she decided on calling Willow; she hadn’t been in school today which was a surprise since Willow prided her self on perfect attendance.

After three rings there was a pick up and an answer on the other end of the phone.

“Hey Will”

“Buffy?”

“Yeah, why weren’t you in school today are you ok?”

“Yeah I’m fine remember I told you my grandmother was suppose to come and visit this weekend, well she moved up the date to tonight so I had to stay home to help my mom prepare.” “You know how my mom can be sometimes.”

“I called you late night to tell you but you weren’t home yet I guess.”

“So who was the mystery guy you were talking to last night?”

“Come on spill.”

“Well his name is Spike”

“His mother named him Spike?”

“No I think it’s a nick name or something… that’s not the point the point is I meet him twice not including last night and I think I know him, I just can’t remember.”


“What, do you mean you know him from LA?”

“No I don’t think so…”

“So where do you know him from?”

“That’s just it I can’t remember, I’ve been racking my brain for a while now trying to remember and I getting nothing.”

“That’s a little weird.”

“You don’t know the half of it; I’m supposed to see him again tonight.” She purposely left out the part about where they would be meeting.

“Well maybe the more your around him the more you’ll remember or it might trigger something.”

“I hope so.”

“I didn’t get much of a look last night, but from what I saw he was defiantly a hottie.”

Laughing Buffy answered. “Yeah Wills he defiantly is.”

“So are you nervous?”

“Extremely, I only tried on thousand outfits.” She said laughing

“Well ma….” Just then you could hear Wills mom on the other end of the phone.


“Willow tell Bunny you’ll call her back later, I need you to do a few things.”

“Oh my gosh … Buffy”

“I know I heard its ok I should probably start getting ready any way. I’ll talk to you in school tomorrow ok.”

“Yeah sorry about that, and hey I want all the juicy details ok.”

“Ok Wills I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye.”
“Bye.”

Laughing to my self, when will Mrs. Rosenberg get her name right?

“Ok time to prepare.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I search for the time
On a watch with no hands
I want to see you clearly
Come closer than this
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike could remember the last time he was this nervous.

He had actually gone to the store early that morning to have food in the house; of course he didn’t need it. There were some human foods he still enjoyed eating but this wasn’t about him he wanted Buffy to feel comfortable and relaxed.

So he basically bought the entire super market, everything under the moon he could think of. And that was a lot.

Buffy would be there very soon and all he could do was sit in his chair and try to pretend that he was really reading the book in his hand.

He knew there would be some topics that would come out tonight that would be very personal and to the point, and he would try to answer them as honest as possible.

The thing was he didn’t want to scare her away.

He knew sometimes he came off strong emotionally especially when it came to her, he would just have to hold himself back a bit. Unless she showed signs that she could handle it.

And he really hoped she could handle it.

He sat there reminiscing the times when he would hold her from sun up to sun down, when they where so entangled with one another they didn’t notice anything else around them.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
But all I remember
Are the dreams in the mist
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Walking up his drive way she had the slight urge to turn around and run all the way home but her legs weren’t listening, they carried her all the way up the drive way to the walk way which lead up to the door.

And there she stood, she was about to knock but she gentle placed her hand on the door to tracing the pattern.
To her surprise she felt a slight shock from the other side, it didn’t hurt or any thing. The feeling was pretty pleasant.

Just then the door opened and the owner of the house stood there in a fitted cotton black shirt and black jeans.
But the cutie thing was he was barefooted.

“I didn’t knock.”

“I know.”

“Where you waiting by the door, or something?”

He smirked, “or something.”

“Well are you going to invite me in or are we going to have this conversation with me standing outside,” she asked smiling.

“Of course not pet come in.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Your house is beautiful.”

“Thanks pet”

From what she could see he hadn’t lived here long.

“Did you just move in when you moved to Sunnydale?”

“Not really, I’ve been in Sunnydale for a little bit but I just recently decided to buy the place.”

“Why, I mean I don’t mean to be forward but it seemed too big for just one person, unless you don’t live alone?” She asked turning around to face him.

Smiling at the nervous way she asked. “No pet it’s just me myself and I, but I’m hoping it won’t be that way for long.”
He said suggestively.

How do you respond to something like that?

“Umm... so did you want to talk?”

“Sure pet, did you want to talk in the kitchen I could fix you something or we could just go in the living room.”

“No I’m good for now we could go in the living room.”

“After you pet.”

He sat in the recliner well she sat in the love seat in front of him.

“So how do you what to start this off pet?”

“Well how about you name?”

Smiling, “I have the feeling you already know my name luv.”

“I think I might know, but it’s a stretch.”

“And why would you think that?”

“Because my only clue was when I heard it in the…”

“Dream”

There was a long period of silence

“How did you know I was going to say that?”

“Because I was there with you”

“Well of course you were there I was dreaming,” not realizing she should be slightly embarrassed.

“No pet what I mean is we were both having the same dream at the same exact time.”

“How do you know it was the same, I never said anything about it.”

“You don’t have to, it was the same dream.”

“That’s not possible.”

“Fine pet, what was you dream about?”

That’s when Buffy actually remembered the dream they were both so casually talking about. How he did things to her body that she couldn’t even name.


That’s when Buffy's cheeks flamed scarlet as her eyes darted away from his.

“Well pet”, Spike said smirking “judging from the blush on your pretty little cheeks we had the same dream but just to make sure I tell you what happened I my dream.”

“No you don’t have to”

Purring “Oh but I want to kitten”

By the time he was finished recounting the dream she was blushing and seemed a bit flushed.

There was a comfortable silence before she said, “so I guess your real name it William.”

“Yes it is Elizabeth”

“No one calls me that anymore.”

“Well is it alright if I call you that sometimes, unless you mind?”

“No it’s fine, which would you like me to call you?”

“It doesn’t matter pet what ever makes you happy.”

She needed to move around, “Is it ok if get a drink?”

“Sure pet, would you like something to eat as well?”

“If that’s ok”

“Sure, come on in the kitchen and keep me company luv.”

“Ok”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Is it cloak 'n' dagger
Could it be spring or fall
I walk without a cut
Through a stained glass wall
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“You know when I said I could eat something I imagined something a bit smaller like chips and a coke.”

“Well I already had this prepared in case you were hungry.”

“You had spaghetti and meatballs with buttered bread stick prepared in case I was hungry.”

He shrugged a little embarrassed, “I was a little nervous about tonight and had to keep myself busy.”

He looked so adorable sitting across from her fidgeting under her gaze.

“Well everything was great”

He shrugged again in embarrassment, “Thanks pet.”

“Would you like some more?”

“No thank you I feel like I’m going to pop right now.”

“Spike can I ask you a question?”

Smirking he said “you just did pet but you can ask another.”

“How old are you, are you in college?”

He couldn’t very well tell her he was over a hundred years old could he, he would try to dodge it.

“I graduated from Oxford pet.”

“When you were in England?”

“Yes”

“What was your major?”

“English literature and I minored in foreign languages.”

“Wow, and you already graduated from college?”

Know where this was going he smiled to himself, his little angel was trying to figure out his age.

“Yes”

“And did you graduate with a bachelor’s degree?”

“No pet”

“Associates”

“I graduated with a master’s degree.”

“So that would mean you’re about 26 or 27 years old?”

When I was turned he thought.

He decided not to say anything, wanting to see how she would react.

She seemed somewhat disappointed.

Finally she broke the silence.

“Oh, do you know how old I am?”

“Your seventeen pet you’ll be eighteen in January.”

“And what do you what from me, do you want to be friends?”

“No luv, I couldn’t be just your friend if I tried.”

“So you want…”

“I want to be with you, I want you to be mine and I want to be yours.”

“But don’t worry pet I won’t do anything you’re not ready for, I can wait.”

“So was this a date?”

“Do you want it to be?”

Deciding to be strait forward she answered.

“Yes”

“Then that’s what it was pet.”

Just then she saw past Spikes head to see the time it was 12:47am.

“Oh my gosh it’s late, I should go.”

“I guess we got carried away pet, let me walk you home.”

Standing up to get ready to leave, she told him “no it’s ok I…”

“No pet I’m walking you home and that’s that.”

“Ok”

Walking towards the door she looked back at the kitchen.

“Sorry to leave you with the clean up.”

“It’s nothing, lets go don’t want to make you any later than you already are pet.” Especially knowing how her father could be.

And on that note they left.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The walk home even though they were moving in a rapped pace was nice.

He asked her about school and Willow or as he put it “the hyper red head.”

Finally they reached the tree by her window.

“Well this is my stop.”

“That it is pet”

“I had a great time Spike”

“I’m glad luv, but when can I see you again?”

“Well I guess tomorrow if that’s ok with you?”

“Its prefect pet but it’s gonna be a long time before I see you again tonight, so give me a kiss that'll last me till then.”

Leaning her against the tree he whispered.

"Kiss me....please baby," "I can't stand it another second.”

Pushed up against the tree as she was, Buffy was intensely aware of how his lower body pressed to hers. Once again, he the dream from last night began running in her head.

Running his fingers through her hair he heard her take in a deep breath, right before their lips met.


His tongue probed delicately between her lips, he obviously knew what he was doing, because everything was soft and sweet but the passion was defiantly there. He lightly stroked, teased, and tasted her inner cheeks.

When the kiss was over Buffy was breathless.

He whispered. "Tell me what you want...and I'll move heaven and earth to give it to you kitten."

“My brain isn’t working at the moment, so you’ll have to give me a bit of time.”

“Well I got all the time in the world.”

Giving him one more quick peck she said.

“I got to get inside”

“Get inside pet I’ll see you tomorrow”

“Ok”

She started climbing but then stop to give him another kiss.

“I just had to do that.”

“No complaints here luv”

Five minutes later Buffy was finally inside her room watching Spike walk down the road, when she couldn’t see him anymore she let out a girlish squeal and fell to her bed with the biggest smile she’d had in a while.

Finally things were looking up.

Kicking off her shoes she cuddled up to Mr. Gordo, and that’s how she fell asleep, smiling.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike could be any happier things turned out well.

He could feel her she was falling asleep.

"Shut your eyes luv. Get some sleep." Spike whispered as if she were with him.

She would dream of them night, before Sunnydale. He couldn’t wait to get home to climb into bed to join her.

A few minutes later he round the corner and walked up his drive way.

Once he was inside he cleared the table and then head to his room.

He missed her already he needed her, and the only way to be with her at the moment were in their dreams.

There connection was getting stronger which meant the dreams would get more vivid, which was more that ok with him.

Closing his eyes he let the memory of her eyes and sweet lips lulling him to sleep.

And the door to their dreams opened letting him in.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Weaker in my eyesight
The candle in my grip
And words that have no form
Are falling from my lips
There's something out there
I can't resist
I need to hide away from the pain
There's something out there
I can't resist
The sweetest song is silence
That I've ever heard
Funny how your feet
In dreams never touch the earth
In a wood full of princes
Freedom is a kiss
But the prince hides his face
From dreams in the mist

These Dreams – Heart

~*~**~**~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N Just like I promised I updated again I hope you guys like it.
Remember the more reviews the faster the updates.
Hope you enjoy. That might be it for this week but you never know
I might be inspired sometime during the weekend
so look out.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ch.6 I am broken
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I wait for the postman to bring me a letter
I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better
And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders
A family in crisis that only grows older

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~*DREAM*~

“I always want you baby.” he said in a husky whisper
"You're the one, kitten," he said again, pumping a little faster. "You're all I want...all....I...want..."
Every time he entered her, he rubbed himself in just the right spot, creating the most delicious friction exactly where she needed it.

She knew she was dreaming like before but it seemed so real.

“Tell me pet, I need to hear it.”

“Spike I…”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

END OF DREAM

She’d been dreaming but something was off, something was wrong she could feel it.

That’s when she heard it.

Yelling

Looking over at the time it was 4:53 in the morning.

This wasn’t something new to Buffy, but every time she woke up to her parents fighting something broke inside of her.

There was always a tight feeling in the middle of her stomach that made it hard to breath.

Buffy inhaled sharply at the sound of her father’s voice. His voice so loud she was pretty sure the neighbors would call the cops soon. The thought of him in the house sent chills up and down her spine; he never was really at the house much anymore. Not that she mind, when he wasn’t there the house was peaceful, unlike now.

And by the sound of his voice he was drunk, which is why mom was also yelling.

She was about to try to go back to sleep but when they were arguing she never could. Not since the time when she walked in on her dad beating on her mom.

That was four years ago, her mom had a couple of broken ribs and a broken arm.

When she did walk in she tried to get him off her but he grabbed her around the neck and slammed her head into the wall, everything went dark. Everything after that went by in a blur.

But ever since that when ever they were arguing she stayed close incase her mom needed her, not that she had been much help the last time.

That’s when she heard it, a thud and her mom scream.

She got up and ran down the stairs to fine Hank beating on her mom.

Just as she reached the bottom of the stairs Joyce fell backwards and hit her head on the coffee table.

Her mom wasn’t moving.

“Mom”

Hank turned around and looked at her as if he forgot she lived there, he was definitely drunk.

“Your mother is fine go back to bed”

Joyce looked far from fine.

“But she’s not mov…”

“What the fuck did I just say?”

She couldn’t see her mother breathing, and that scared her more than anything.

Buffy jumped when Hank appeared in front of her.

“Where the fuck were you tonight?” Hank asked in a low voice.

“I-I told mom…that I was going out.” “She said it was ok”

Buffy hated the fact that her voice was shaking from terror. She was afraid of him and he knew it and he took pleasure in that.

Hank Summers tried to play the role of the perfect father and business man in front of other
people, but in private he had no problems degrading his daughter and wife.

Hank never wanted a daughter to begin with maybe because the women he cheated on her mother with were not
much older than she was.

“I’m tired of you going and coming when ever you want”

“This is my house and you will …”

“But I didn’t…”

Buffy let out a yelp as she felt his fist impact her jaw.

“Did I tell you, you could speak?”

“Now go clean your mother up, and while you’re at it clean your self up too.”

“Why the fuck are you still in front of me? Go!”

When he was like this it was better just to do what he said, sometimes she wondered if her life would always be like this.

Just a couple hours ago she was happy, she had just ended her date or what she had hoped was a date with Spike.

She could feel her bottom lip swelling and blood trickling down her lip.

Reaching down stairs she could she her mom on the floor just below the stairs.

Kneeling down she could see that her mom was breathing.

“Mom”

“Mom, are you ok?”

Joyce’s eyes started twitching.

She was waking up.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Daughter to father, daughter to father
I am broken but I am hoping
Daughter to father, daughter to father
I am crying, a part of me is dying and
These are, these are
The confessions of a broken heart

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Across town
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike woke up a while ago, and not pleasantly either.

One minute he was dreaming of his angel and the next the dream vanished and all he could feel was panic coming from Buffy.

Getting up from bed he started pacing.

As time went on the feelings only got stronger and stronger.

He didn’t know what to do, the sun was rising there was no possible way he could make it to Buffy’s house on time.

Reaching out to her he knew she was scared but to the extent he didn’t know.

He could call to see if she was ok, but he didn’t want to risk the chance of her father answering the phone. It could make situations worse.

He couldn’t do anything until the sun went down.

He never felt this helpless before.

Sitting back down on his bed he tried to send some comfort to her letting her know he was there.

“I’m coming kitten just hold on.”

Each second felt like a life time.

“Hold on”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I wear all your old clothes your polo sweater
I dream of another you the one who would never (never)
Leave me alone to pick up the pieces
A daddy to hold me, that’s what I needed

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy was visibly shaken up.

Her mom said she was fine and she refused to go to the hospital.

She tried to be strong and pretend she was alright.

After Hank left she went up stairs and told Buffy to stay home from school.

Going back up to her room she got onto her bed and held Mr. Gordo to her.

Today was Friday anyway, so by Monday the swelling should be gone, and the cut on her bottom lip should be hardly noticeable.

But the bruises would still be there tonight and there was no way she would go over to Spike’s looking like this.

Even though she knew he wouldn’t think less of her or anything she just couldn’t.

She didn’t want anyone’s pity or sympathy.

She couldn’t see for a while, not until everything was back to normal.

He would probably think she blew him off.
Maybe she could get Willow to go over there and tell him she wasn’t feeling well or something. That would buy her some time.

She didn’t know what she was going to do but right now she was feeling drained of energy and the stress of think about what to do with night wasn’t helping.

When she woke up she would think of something but right now her body needed sleep. And that’s exactly what she did.

But before falling back to sleep she felt a warm comforting feeling surrounding her, and for the first time in a long time she felt safe and loved.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Daughter to father, daughter to father
I don't know you, but I still want to
Daughter to father, daughter to father
Tell me the truth, did u ever love me
Cause these are, these are
The confessions of a broken heart
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


A/N
I know it's been a while, sorry.
Had a little family thing but I should be updating soon so don't worry. I know it not long but I just wanted to give you guys something. I will update sometime this week.
As always I feed off of your reviews, the more I get the faster the update, so don't be shy. Give me more

June 04, 06
Yes I did make some slight changes, I hope for the better. I know you all thought I gave up on this story but I didn't I just had a lot of family things going on.
But I am sorry for the long wait.
More really really soon. : )
reviews.
Thanks.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 7 Saturate Me

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The desert I wander lacks in its mirage
There's no mistaking in the barrage
Of sand and wind that tears my skin (tears my skin)
Leaving what's without exposing what's within

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy awoke to the sound of the phone on her night stand ringing. She didn’t really care to answer it thinking it was Willow with twenty-one questions as to why she wasn't in school today. After the fourth ring she finally rolled over to answer it prepared for the avalanche of questions.

"Hello?" she asked with a groggily voice that proved she had been sleeping.

"Buffy...were you still asleep I thought you would be up by now?"

"Mom?” Buffy asked shocked to hear her voice instead of the expected teen

"Where are you aren't you suppose to be down the hall sleeping in your room?"

“I-I just needed to get out of there I was feeling a bit restless...and I had an important client that was suppose to come in today. I would have woken you but I saw you took some pills so I guess it took you awhile to get to that state of rest."

"Oh…yea I fell asleep but woke back up, my jaw was kinda keeping me from fully resting."
The other line got quiet and she was afraid she said something to upset her mother. “Mom I’m sor...”

“No it's okay... I’m okay, I’m just sorry you had to go through that again." she could hear the remorse in her moms voice a felt bad for bringing up the subject.

“Mom... I think we should...I mean if you want... I think its best if we get a restraining order place against Hank." she had stopped calling him dad long ago.

“Honey I don't think-"

“Mom just think about it, it would be a lot safer and maybe it would keep him away so there’s not a next time."

"We'll talk about this later, I should be home around eleven thirty, have to do the extra stuff for the weekend, bye honey I love you."

“Bye mom love you too."

With a sigh Buffy hung up the phone. If they got a restraining order Hank wouldn't dare come around and risk his so called image that everyone sees him for but she would worry about that later. Right now she had to find a way to get out of going to see spike.

She turned to the alarm clock only to see that it read 4:13.

'Shit I know I shouldn’t have took those pain killers I-I don’t even have time to make up a plan, I was suppose to be there by six thirty.'

She jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom almost falling in her haste.

She pulled out all her concealer and cover up including her moms so she could hide the wonderful black and blue bruise she was sporting.' okay.. okay, Buffy think its still early, its working hours still.

He should be at work so I can just run over there and leave a note on his door saying that um.. that I'm-I'm sick!....no if you were sick you wouldn't go all the way to his freaking door to leave a note.'

At this point she really wished she had gotten his number. ‘okay...I'll leave a note saying...my mom has a big important client coming in (which is true) and wanted my help with a few things!'

She smiled with triumph with her semi lie then soon regretted it when she felt the throbbing in her jaw reminding her that she had only covered it up and that it was still there.

She looked in the mirror at her handy work. She managed to completely cover up the bruise but there wasn't much she could do for her busted lip. With a sigh she applied some Chap Stick hoping that would help it heal faster.

She then ran back into her room to find a quick outfit. Nothing to cute since she wasn’t planning on seeing anyone, especially Spike she didn’t think she could see him until everything was a hundred percent gone

The last thing she wanted from Spike was his pity, for him to think of her as weak.

That was part of the reason no one knew how her home life really was.

The only thing keeping her going was the thought of graduating and going to college, living in a dorm room away from her father.

But even then she couldn’t leave her mom alone with him, she wouldn’t she just had to figure something out.


She pulled out black cotton tee and some light blue fitted jeans and topped it off with her black boots.

She glanced out the window and saw that it was cloudy. ‘Probably gonna rain' she thought she grabbed her black fitted hoody and headed towards the door picking up a small umbrella and her keys on the way out. She opened the door and froze. There standing in front of her was the one person she was trying to avoid.

SPIKE.

~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Forsaken, left here
In my barren desolate...

My soul is evaporating
Won't you saturate me, won't you saturate me
Rain down on me with life
My soul is evaporating
Won't you saturate me, won't you saturate me
Storm around me, bring the tide
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Spike sat on his couch in the living room. He had been pacing around most of the day anxious to get to her. He had felt pain through the link but then it faded away and he could feel peace. He guessed she had fallen back to sleep.

He went into his training room and tried to do a few exercises to get his mind off what he really wanted to do but all he end up doing was beating the shit out of the punching bag.

And he was still left feeling anxious and now annoyed because his punching bag was now ruined.

Sliding to the floor he tried to calm down and focus on Buffy even if she was sleeping focusing on her calmed him down a lot.

He never felt like this before he felt like a caged animal.

He knew why he was reacting like this.

It was because his demon viewed Buffy as his mate in every way possible and the fact that he couldn’t be there for her when she need him was tearing him up inside.

All he could do was send comfort through the link.

He didn’t know how long he sat there but he felt when Buffy woke up, she seemed fine but that didn’t make him any less anxious to get there.

Getting up going up stairs to his room to take a shower and change by the time he was through with all that he should be able to leave without too much trouble.

The cloudy weather made it possible to leave as early as he was, he should be fine.

The shower calmed him down a bit more; his muscles were tense from his vigorous work out earlier.

Dressing in his usual uniform black jeans, black fitted t- shirt, with the red shirt, black boots, and his duster.

He was set to go.

He had not one soddin clue what he was going to say to Buffy, or how he was going to approach the subject.

He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. Because knowing Buffy she would draw away from him and shut down and he needed her to open up to him, for both there sakes.

He kept a steady pace to her house.

Seeing her house as he rounded the corner he prepared himself for anything.

Her fathers’ car wasn’t in the driver way ‘good thing to’.

Joyce’s car was also gone, so she was home alone or not home at all.

He hoped she was home alone.

Just as he was about to knock the door the door knob turned and he was face to face with the person he'd been dying or should he say living to see.

BUFFY

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~

My days stretch long into the heat
As the sun brightens my defeat
My lips are chapped, they're parched and dry (parched and dry)
My thirst it builds, with every day gone by....

Forsaken, left here
In my barren desolate...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Spike flinched in sympathy when he saw her face, even though she wore makeup the burse was still visible to the eye and her lip was split.

The expression she wore was one of complete shock.

He knew he caught her off guard it showed on her face.

"You all right?" he asked, hoping to distract her with his sincere concern he knew the first thing out of her mouth would be “what are you doing here?’ and he wasn’t disappointed.

“What are you doing here?”

"Why? Why are you here I thought I was suppose to c…”

“I don’t know for some weird reason I got the feeling you weren’t gonna show up, so I decided to come over to see the reason why that might happen.” Deciding he wasn’t going to beat around the bush he came right out with it.

“What happened luv?”

Once again he caught her off guard.

“With what… oh you mean this… it’s nothing I just fell down the stairs you know sometimes I could be a total klutz…”

But from the expression he wore he wasn’t buying a word of it.

She couldn’t look at him she didn’t want to see him look at her with pity in his eyes.

“Look it’s nothing, just a little family dispute that got out of hand nothing to get all huffy about so you can stop looking at me like that ok.”

“And how is that luv?”

“Like that… like poor little pathetic Buffy she can’t e…”

“Now stop right there love the only thing I was thinking was how I should kill that sick fuck.”

“Spike I don’t need this right now, I know you only want to help but I think…”

“Pet can we finish this discussion inside, can I come in?”

“Oh… yeah come in sorry”

He had it an invitation to the house, now nothing could keep him away from Buffy if he ever needed to get to her.

Buffy turned around; pushing several loose strands of blonde hair out of her eyes as she quickly gazed around.

“Do you want anything to drink or eat?”

“I’m fine sweetheart, I’m here about you.”

“Oh... well umm I was just about to come by to leave a note because um I wasn't coming because I-I have to study for this huge test on Monday an...”

“Luv, its Friday the real reason you weren’t coming was because you didn’t want me to see you like this." he said gesturing to her busted lip and swollen cheek.

“well do you blame Me." she said under her breathe turning to the living room to take a seat not thinking he heard her.

Spike with his vampire hearing did hear her, and looked at her with disbelief. “Did you think I would think any less of you, that I wouldn't want to see you anymore because of something you have no control over."

She sat down looking at her hands. “Spike you don't even know me that well did you expect me to come running to you for comfort." she asked with a hint annoyance in her voice

“We could know each other better if you would just let me in."

“It’s not as easy as you make it sound spike”

“I know it’s not easy luv but can you try anyway, please?”

What could she say to that really? “I’ll try my best.”

“That’s all that I ask pet, is that you try and let me in.”

“If ever you need anything Buffy”

“I know, I know”

“No you don’t pet I want you to have this” he said pulling out a key.

“What’s this for”

“It’s my house key sweets, if you ever need a place to stay you well come to come any time you like.”

She gave him a look as if he just lost his mind.

“What’s the look for pet?”

“Well maybe it’s for the fact that we haven’t even been in a relationship for a month and you’re already giving me your house key, I know you’re only doing this because you feel sorry for me but you can keep your pity beca…”

“How many times do I have to say this Buffy the last thing I feel for you is pity."

She looked into his crystal clear blue eyes and saw the truth behind them. She nodded but didn't reach for the key. “Thanks Spike but I think I’ll be okay, and plus it would feel kinda weird me being in your house while your away at work.


“I don’t' work." he said simply

She looked at him as if he grew another head. ' oh god he’s probably in the mafia or something...with a house that huge you gotta work… he probably has dead bodies in his-" She was cut short from her thoughts when she heard him laugh

“Don’t worry pet I’m not into that underground mafia stuff...I’m not even Italian."

“Oh right British accent and all how could you… wait how do you always know what I’m thinking and feeling, are you like a mind reader and work over your phone." she asked jokingly

He laughed happy to see that she was more comfortable and joking again. “Let’s just say I was born into money, but if I did have a job I would be retired by now” he threw the last statement in to see if she would catch it.

“Retired...? You make it sound like your eighty or something.

“A little higher pet”

“Yeah right”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My soul is evaporating
Won't you saturate me, won't you saturate me
Rain down on me with life
My soul is evaporating
Won't you saturate me, won't you saturate me
Storm around me, bring the tide

The dunes that shift, drift and lift in the wind
Cover up my Hope, as I start to give in
To the cracks and creases and the dips in my will
As I am pushed toward the brink, I drink down and swill

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“I should probably go pet I know Joyce should be coming home soon.”

“I won’t even ask how you know my moms name and what time she comes home.” She told him walking him to the door.

Smiling he said “I’ll call you tonight and tell you pet.”

Buffy had to laugh at that, “or how you got my number to my personal line.”

Coming closer to her he asked “what are you doing tomorrow?” He asked as he trailed his kisses along her jaw.

Did he really expect her to be able to form words with what he was doing? She was finding it hard to concentrate as he did that, so she moaned a bit before answering

“Nothing much… I think I’m free”

“So tomorrow you’re completely free?”

“Y-Yes”

“When can I see you?

“It depends on you, when do you want me to c…”

“All the time,” he whispered hoarsely and kissed her quickly. “I better go pet before…”

“Yeah I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I better, nite luv I’ll call you later.”

“Ok I’ll be waiting”

“I hope you are” and before she knew it he was gone.

How come he always seemed to vanish, even when he’s right in front of you?

Just as walked in to the living room she saw her mom pull up in the drive way, through the window.

“And he always has prefect timing.” For everything, especially the first night they met.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My soul is evaporating
Won't you saturate me, won't you saturate me
Rain down on me with life
My soul is evaporating
Won't you saturate me, won't you saturate me
Storm around me, bring the tide
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Mandy Moore


A/N

I Know I know, you probably thought I gave up on this story.
But I haven’t I just had a very wacky schedule lately my grandmother just recently
Came out here for a visit, and since then everything’s been a little crazy.
But things have calmed down so I have more time to update now.
Thank you for your patients, and I hope you enjoy the update.
OH and I did make some slight changes in chapter6 so enjoy.

PLEASE I need reviews the last two chapters I didn’t get as much reviews, I would like to know what
My readers think so don’t be shy.

Thanks. ; )

~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 8 Your Eyes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mom was quite at the dinner table not that she expected a full on conversation, it’s just that she seemed really distant like she wasn’t even there.

While cleaning the kitchen her thoughts wondered off to Spike and how supportive he was, he didn’t judge her or tell her what she should do, he just told her that he was there for her and gave her the key to his house and it wasn’t out of pity.

She didn’t have to hide from him, even though she didn’t know how to let her guard down, it was good to know that if she ever wanted to she could with him.

She hopped nothing like this would ever happen again but she wasn’t stupid, she knew if Hank was in there life that it most likely would.

After cleaning up the kitchen there was nothing really to do.

Deciding she would take a bubble bath she started getting it ready when the phone rang.

“Hello”

“Hey kitten”

“Spike?”

“You sound surprise luv I told you I would call.”

“Guys always say it but never really do”

“Well I meant every word I said tonight luv, what were you doing just now?”

“Just getting ready to take a bubble bath”

There was a long pause on the phone.

“Spike… you still there?”

“What”

“I asked if you were still there”

“Yeah I’m here pet I just…”

“Blanked out as soon as I said I was taking a bubble bath.”

“Well yeah but can you really blame me red blooded male and everything.”

Laughing she said “no I guess not.”

“So I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah I guess so what time would be ok for you?”

“It doesn’t matter to me luv, whenever is good for you.”

“Ok I could be there by 11”

“Fine with me pet, I’ll let you get back to you’re…”

“Bubble bath”

Another long pause over the phone

“Spike”

“Right… nite pet”

“Goodnight”

Smiling to herself she said “his voice even sounds sexy on the phone”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Love I get so lost, sometimes
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
when I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Deciding on something casual and comfortable she wore fitted black jeans and a red fitted cotton tee, she put her hair in a pony tail in the middle of her head and let a few tendrils frame her face.

She made sure the bruise under her eye was covered with makeup making it almost impossible to see, other than that her makeup was pretty light.

Butterfly started up in her stomach, for some reason when ever she thought of being alone with Spike they started up.

It’s not that she didn’t trust him because she did, it was just that Spike had a way of looking at you as if he could see into your soul as if you’re the only one in the room, ‘even though most of the time she is the only one in the room.’

All your instincts tell you to close your self off from it, ‘because who really wants someone to see that deep inside of them, to see all of there faults and mistakes and insecurities.’

His eyes were just so piercing; they told a story they were so expressive. ‘A story I can’t quite remember.’

‘One second under his gaze you could feel warm comfort, heat, compassion, and even L…?’

“Well that’s just crazy…I mean it defiantly couldn’t be love, we just meet, I hardly know him and he doesn’t really even know me.” ‘I think’

“I’m just confusing it for kindness.”

“Right?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
All my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What exactly they were doing today she had no idea she really didn’t feel like going anywhere but if he wanted to she really didn’t care, by the looks of today it looked like it was going to rain again.

The rain never really bothered her she liked hearing it at night, it had calming effect on her.
She just wanted to make it to his house before it started poring. “Please don’t start yet just give me fifteen minutes.”

And on that note she was out the door.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He had made sure everything was in order he moved all of his blood to the fridge in the basement. And made sure there was food in there for Buffy incase she got hungry. There were still plenty of snacks and such from the first time she came over so he didn’t have to get much. He liked eating certain things, for some reason his taste buds still worked. And he took full advantage of that.

He hoped she didn’t question his reason for staying in. He had just planned on watch a movie or something.

He just wanted her to forget her problems for a day to have fun and relax a bit. He wanted to see her smile again, ‘even though it’s been a while.’

He didn’t like seeing her in pain or seeing her hurt, it did something to him on the inside and it wasn’t good.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Love, I don't like to see so much pain
so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for out survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She arrived and to her luck without the rain. It was a little bit after eleven.

She knocked the door and the door opened under her fist, ‘anyone could just walk in, she was sure he could take care of himself but Sunnydale wasn’t the safest place on earth you always heard of weird things going on in Sunnydale, people disappearing people finding body’s in alleyways.”

“Said the girl who walks everywhere” she whispered to herself. She and cars were non-mixy things.’

“Anyone home”

“In the living room pet”

“Hey, your door was open”

Smiling “I know, I was expecting company”

"Should I take my shoes off? Don’t want to ruin your carpet they look expensive." She said taking a glance at the plush blood red carpet. She continued to look around the beautifully furnished house, rich paintings on the wall, statues that told tales of the past and a few plants here and there.

“Whatever makes you comfortable." he watched as she looked around in awe at all the different art pieces and furnisher her eyes came across. He smiled at how she looked on with innocence, but that wasn't a surprise being as she was only eighteen.

“Oh well I guess I’ll take them off." She slipped off her red flip flops and turned back to him. Behind him she noticed a sort of door way covered with a thick red curtain. “What’s that lead to?"

“That’s the balcony, looks over the backyard."

“Ooh...lets go take a look." she said walking towards the covered door before she could make it all the way she was stopped by a slight pull on her arm. She turned around to face her capture.

“How about we go out there tonight when the stars are up...we can even have our desert out there."

“But I wanna see all the nice plants and stuff in the sunlight." she gave a slight pout hoping to have her way.

“I promise it’s even more beautiful at night, where’s you patience." he asked teasingly. He gave an inward sigh of relief when he saw he got her mind away from the oven behind the curtain ready to dust him in a second.

“Okay fine...kinda dark in here." she said looking around again." allergic to sunlight?" she asked smiling.

"Something like that." he smiled down at her.

"Ha-ha and again with the ha, so what are we doing today?”

“Thought we might stay in watch some movies order pizza or something …talk, if you want.”

“That’s fine I don’t really feel like going out anyway.”

‘Thank god’

“What movies you got?”

“The movies are on that shelf over there” “Would you like something to drink luv?”

“Just water thanks” “You have a pretty good collection, a lot of action and… oh my gosh I can’t believe you have this.”

Looking up to see what she was talking about. “I have no bleedin clue how that got there.”

“I’m sure you don’t…, let’s watch it.”

“If you want to pet, here’s your water, and by the way I really don’t know how that got there”

“Yeah, yeah I know not your right?”

Smiling “right”

“Did you want me to order the food now or later luv?”

“Now is fine I didn’t really eat anything before I left.”

“What will it be?”

“Chinese please” she said sweetly.

“And what would her majesty like?”

“I don’t know… I’ll take some shrimp lo mein, pork fried rice, chicken and broccoli, fried chicken, and one cheese steak egg roll. Oh! and a diet coke.”

After placing her order she went back to setting up the movie but then she noticed she didn’t hear Spike moving around or calling the restaurant, she turned around to see him still in the same position she left him in except his face was one of complete and utter surprise and shock.

“What”

“Are you serious pet or you yankin my chain?”

“Why wouldn’t I be serious? Is it too much, I didn’t mean to order so much I just…”

“No, no, no pet its fine I just… can you really eat that entire list you just called off pet?” He asked with a curious and proud look on his face.

“The last time I checked yeah.” She said smiling.

“Alright love” he said grinning.

A couple minutes later Spike joined her to watch the movie.

“They said thirty minutes kitten”

“Ok”

The previews were over and the movie just started.

About twenty seven minutes later Spike sensed some one approaching the house he knew he couldn’t pay himself because the sun was up. He already came up with a plan earlier.

“Luv I gotta use the loo, if the food gets here before I get back the money is on the kitchen counter ok?”

“Yeah sure”

Not a minute later there was a knock on the door and she paused the movie and headed for the kitchen counter, for the money. Just as she thanked the delivery guy and closed the door Spike came out of the bathroom.

“Was that the food luv?”

“yeah it was”

“Well let’s dig in”

To say he was surprised would be an understatement she really had a big appetite and she was only a little thing. She ate everything on her plate and some from his.

He gave her a look with a smirk.

“What I happen to be a growing girl who actually likes food and isn’t afraid of it, not those girls walking around looking gaunt and thin in the face, like walking skeletons.”

“That you are pet”

“Now let’s finish the movie.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

And all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“That was nice I hadn’t seen that in a while”

“I still can’t believe you have Ever After, I love that movie”

“It’s not mines remember, I don’t know how that got there.”

“What about Princess Bride, and Meet Joe Black are they not yours too?”

“Damn right”

“I don’t know how the ble…”

“Bleedin hell they got there” she finished for him laughing.

He couldn’t help but laugh himself. He’d hope that she would bless him with one of her smiles tonight, the smile of a goddess, and his hoping was over because her she was laughing and smiling at him.

“It’s nice to see you smile again”

If it was possible her smile got even wider. “It’s nice to smile again.” There was a short silence that followed a comfortable silence. Buffy sat thinking how she was glad that she came out today. She was really enjoying herself. Whenever she was around spike she felt somewhat at piece as if a part of her has been missing for a century and then it’s returned when she’s with him.

Spike was loving their time together at the moment but he couldn’t stop thinking about the bruise under that make-up that was still visible to his eyes. Anger rose every time he thought of another man, vampire, human, anyone touching what was special to him. The one true person he loved. Although he knew his next question would most likely dampen the mood he had to know.

“Can I ask you a question pet?”

“You just did but you can ask another if you want.”

“How did things go last night?”

“What do you me… oh”

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to luv.” He quickly added seeing the frown that appeared on her face cursing himself for putting it there.

“It’s ok he’s gone for the weekend so everything is fine for now.” She answered quietly

“What about your mum is she ok”

There was an uncomfortable silence. “I don’t know how she’s doing she doesn’t really talk to me about it, she just kinda shut down… it’s not too good for her I guess.”

“Is she going to do anything… you know legal?”

You could visibly see Buffy starting to get upset. The thought of her mom once again passing it off, as if it were just a simple everyday argument instead of doing something to put a stop to it really pissed her off. When Buffy and her mom finally did get a chance to take about getting a restraining order on Hank, her mother completely disagreed. Saying how she didn’t want to draw attention to their family. What she should be thinking about is how their health is in danger, what its doing to them mentally. Sometimes she thought her moms reason was from pure fear of hank, why she didn’t know.

“As far as I know she isn’t, she said didn’t want to risk angering Hank more and other reasons then she said she didn’t want to talk about it, and since this is not the first time something like this has happened I don’t think she will.”

“This happened before?” He figured it did but he wanted more information to see just how serious it was, not that it wasn’t already, but so far he was willing to let the cops handle it instead of ripping his head off himself.
“Yeah… the last time was worse… I couldn’t even… and mom. So he didn’t interrupt her he wanted to know what happened but he wasn’t fully prepared for what he heard.

“We were both in the hospital, but I had to stay a couple days longer than mom.” She didn’t notice Spikes reaction to that because she was lost in the memory. “He told everyone we were in a car accident… I never really understood why mom didn’t say anything.”

That’s when she heard it, It snapped her out of her trip down memory lane. She didn’t understand where it was coming from thinking it was the TV only to see that it was still off. She looked at Spike with questioning eyes about to ask, when she looked up at him her eyes went wide.

Staring back at her were two yellow eyes. Two cat like yellow eyes

She jumped off the couch with a scream, “oh my … please tell me you put in some freaky Michael Jackson thriller contacts in while I was rambling.” she said backing still not sure if what she was really seeing was there. ‘Oh god Buffy look you went and worked yourself up now you seeing things’ she said to herself trying to stay calm

Spike didn’t mean to lose himself like that. He didn’t even notice that apart of his demon was on surface. it’s just that something inside of him snapped and he could control it.
He felt rage at high dangerous levels not at Buffy but at her father. How could someone hurt such a beautiful creature? He didn’t care anymore one way or another he would take care of Hank. But right now he had to deal with his slip up with Buffy, there was no way he could lie about this and he didn’t want to.

He relaxed and his eyes changed back into its normal piercing blue. That didn’t seem to help calm her one bit. ‘OH MY GOD, their not contacts, they just disappeared right in front of my eyes.’ Her mind screamed for her to run but something else was keeping her there.

“S-Spike, what going on?”

“Buffy.” He tried in a calm voice. “We need to talk…come back over here and sit down I promise I won’t hurt you.”

“No Spike…who are you? What are you?” With a defeated sigh he rose to his feet but still maintained distance.

“I’m a vampire Buffy”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light,
the heat I see in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

A/N I know I know you probably want to kill me right now but I just couldn’t resist.
I know a lot of you have been waiting for this so here it is.
I wanted it to be all out in the open, I want Buffy to completely trust Spike and for that to happen this had to happen.
How will she take the news? (Read the next chapter to find out)
I live for your reviews let me know what you think and how you feel about the story so far.
(And to *bite me* I think I just might use that song you wrote me about thank u so much ;)
Once again I need reviews.
That’s my motivation to update quicker
Thanks more soon.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 9 Love doesn’t ask

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Love doesn't ask why
It speaks from the heart
And never explains
Don't you know that
Love doesn't think twice
It can come all at once
Or whisper from a distance

Don't ask me if this feeling's right or wrong
It doesn't have to make much sense
It just has to be this strong
'cause when you're in my arms I understand

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike didn’t make any sudden movements he didn’t want to scare her away but judging from the expression in those lovely eyes of hers told him it was already to late for that, she looked confused, scared, and hurt and it bothered him terribly. Making him unsure of what to say next?

This is not how he planned the day to go, but he also told himself he wouldn’t lie to her.

He wanted to take that look from her face, the look of fear and replace it with the smile she'd given him earlier.

He had to admit he felt somewhat lighter now everything was out in the open, well almost everything, and he was curious to see how she would react.

But now a few minutes went by and she wasn’t saying anything.

“Pet… did you hear what I just said?”

Still nothing.

“Buffy”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

‘A vampire … he said he was a vampire. He thinks he’s a vampire; he was too good to be true. This guy had to be crazy, but the little voice inside her head whispered, ‘then how do you explain his eyes turning that glowing yellow color? And remember this is Sunnydale aka Sunnyhell where people turn up ….’

“Buffy”

He could almost see the wheels in her head turning and thought it best to give her time to think.

‘People turn up with puncture wounds in their necks all the time … and he is really pale, oh my god! He didn’t want to go out on the balcony; everything was coming together inside her head.

Buffy finally noticed just how trapped she was, her only exit was through him she looked around for an escape and found none but the window.

The sun was still out and one thing she did no was that if he was a vampire he wouldn’t be able to come near her if she was in the sun light. Faster than she thought she ran over to one of the large windows and drew back the thick curtain, letting the sun light in.

Spike was mostly covered by the shadow except for his hand which got caught in the light.

She turned around just in time to see the smoke rise from his burnt hand; her eyes grew wider if that was possible. If she had any doubts which she did, it all when to hell the moment she saw that.

“Stay away from me”


“Well if you would calm down and take a seat I’ll explain it all to you.”

“No thank you I’m fine standing and I think you should just stay away from me, or better yet I’ll leave, so I’ll just go home now and…"

She couldn’t really leave anyway because he was blocking her escape and she already knew he wasn’t going to let her go. She knew the best thing for her to do was for her to stay in the sunlight.

“I can’t let you leave pet… not like this, I need to explain a few things first then you can leave and I won’t try and stop you.” Spike forgot about his hand and focused on Buffy.

“And if it’s time that you need then I’ll give it to you, but please pet let me explain”

"There's nothing to talk about...not anymore.”

“You know that’s not true pet, we have a lot to talk about, you just don’t want to talk about it.”

“Can you blame me?”

“No luv I can’t”

“Will you stop calling me that!”

“Why”

She was going to say ‘because you don’t feel it’ but that didn’t seem too smart at the moment.

“Because I’m sure you don’t have pet names for your foods”

Spike had enough of this, it wasn’t getting them anywhere.

“Your not food to me kitten, you never were.”

Trying to add a little humor to the situation Spike said “Buffy hiding in the sun won’t do you much good, the sun will go down eventually, you’ve got about two hours.” he said casually.

But as soon as the words left his lips he felt like kicking himself, ‘that’s not what you say to a chit who thinks she’s your next meal.’

“I’m sorry luv, I guess that’s wasn’t the best time to put my foot in my mouth.”

“Is that why you stopped me that night in the park? Thought I would be a better snack, didn’t want all that blood to waste?”

She didn’t know where that came from but at the moment she felt bold maybe it was the fact that she knew he couldn’t come close enough to hurt her, not with the sun up. But if he was right the sun would be setting soon then where would that leave her? Dead most likely. But she still had a little time to come up with a plan.
But did she really need one; he had a lot of opportunities to hurt her if that’s what he really wanted. So what did he want?

“You know I would never hurt you, so why don’t you just come over here with me so we can figure all this out.”

“Well either way I’m fine just where I am, so I’ll just stay here.”

“Fine you can stay over there for two bloody hours see if I care.” He sat down in one of the chairs out of the sun light facing her.

Buffy sat down on the floor making sure she was in the sunlight.

They sat in silence for about thirty minutes, everything sinking in for Buffy. Then she remembered something but it didn’t make any sense.

“You breathe, I thought vampires don’t breathe?”

Spike actually looked a bit taken back she had been silent for a while and she barely made eye contact, now she was directly addressing him, she wasn’t shying away from the discussion anymore she wanted answers and she was going to get them.


“I don’t need to breathe but I do, It’s a comfort thing for me, like eating human food.”

“So you drink blood then” She was really afraid to hear the answer to this question but she needed to know.

“Yes Buffy I drink blood, but it’s not what you think, I go to the butcher I’m bagging it.”

“So… its animal blood right?”

“Yes”

“So your not hurting humans?”

“No luv I don’t”

‘She asked if he was hurting humans not if he ever hurt a human.’

“But there’s always bodies being found with the weird punctures in the neck.”

“There are vampires everywhere Buffy especially here in Sunnydale.”

“And they eat people but you don’t.” “Why don’t you?”

“You’re not ready to know that yet but let’s just say it’s not my thing.”

“Why can’t I know I thought you wanted to talk?”

“We are talking.”

“Fine next question…what do you want from me.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
We don't try to have a voice
When our hearts make the choices
There's no plan
It's in our hands
Love doesn't ask why
It speaks from the heart
And never explains
Don't you know that
Love doesn't think twice
It can come all at once
Or whisper from a distance


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“I want what we had before you found out what I was Buffy, or at least what was beginning to happen, I want us to be together.”

“I’m not sure we can have that now.”

“Why can’t we luv, who says we can’t?”
“What do you mean why can’t we because everything’s changed now Spike, we can’t pretend like this never happened, or ignore it, because it will always be there!”

“Do you honestly think I would hurt you in anyway?”
“That’s not the point.”
“What is the point?”
“That-that well you…you drink blood and that’s just one of the many points.”

“ No its not…I scare you because I’m not your normal everyday boyfriend and even with that deep down inside you still want to be with me and it makes you question yourself, makes you think there’s something wrong with you.” He could tell her hit the sore spot but he knew she wasn’t ready to admit it to herself. “If you need time I’ll give it to you, just please consider it, consider me.”

He was right and she knew it, she did want to be with him but this wasn’t her fairy tale. Somewhere deep down she knew she wanted him needed him. Who wants normal anyway, why not make her own fairy tale? But she still needed time.
The thought that a vampire would want a relationship with a human intrigued her.
“Would you turn me into a vampire?”
“God no, I lo-like you just the way you are, if I wanted to turn you there were many opportunities where I could have, please just trust me.”

She didn’t know where in their conversation it had happened but she realized she wasn’t afraid any more. Just looking in his eyes she could see the truth. And everything he said about him not being normal was also true; she always had this perfect normal life planned out. She was determined to have a true lasting relationship unlike her parents.

She slowly rose to her feet and pulled the curtains back into place blocking out her only protection but somehow she knew she didn’t need it.
She walked back over to the couch where it all began. Still making sure there was a little distance between them.

He was in a bit of shock that was the last thing he expected her to do. “You know what I am now Luv… are you going to stay away from me?”
Not that if she decided she would he would stay away.
The weird thing was even though he had only been in her life for a short amount of time she couldn’t imagine her life without him again. Buffy really looked at him, she looked in his eyes and she saw the fear and sadness in them, as if he was preparing himself for the rejection.

And with that something inside of her broke, she couldn’t explain it; it was as if she was feeling everything he was feeling at that moment and the strange thing was she didn’t want him to feel that way, she wanted to comfort him. She wanted to take his pain way. She never saw him like this before he was usually confident and cocky, something told her he didn’t let others see him like this, his eyes were so expressive she wondered if he knew she could see all of his emotions through them. And what she saw more than anything was vulnerability.
“I trust you.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Now I can feel what you're afraid to say
If you give your soul to me
Will you give too much away
We can't let this moment pass us by
Can't question this chance
Or expect any answers
We can try
But love doesn't ask you why

(instrumental)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
But she need time, time to sort everything out.
But the weird thing was even though he had only been in her life for a short amount of time she couldn’t imagine her life without him again.

She didn’t even know how she lasted as long as did without him in her life before. But now that she had him she couldn’t go back to that life, it seemed so long ago.

That he didn’t expect, she wasn’t going to run away, she wasn’t going to leave him. He didn’t think it was possible but his love for her grew with those three little words.

Buffy felt the hair on the back of her neck stand at attention, the look he was giving her right now was smoldering.
His eyes were as dark and penetrating.

A look she had seen before burning into her with a look that made her body tingle with awareness of him, of his sexuality, his masculinity. She then remembered every moment of their brief encounter under her tree by her window and the dreams she’d had.

Buffy honestly didn’t know what was creepier: the fact that Spike had wanted her and he was a vampire, or the fact that, despite all sensibility, a part of her had very much wanted him and wasn’t as bothered by this new discovery as she should be. Wanted him the way she knew he wanted her.

There was no denying her attraction to him

"Buffy..."

He went over to his desk and picked up a book. Slowly he walked up to her happy to see that she wasn’t afraid. “I want you to read this book; it has everything you’ll need to know about vampires.”
The book was really heavy and old; and it looked like it would be worth a lot of money. It would take a while to read this book but for some reason she knew when she started it she wouldn’t be able to put It down.
“I will.”
He knew she needed time, she needed time to think about what she wanted, the last thing he wanted to do was scare her off. And granted Spike wasn’t exactly the best decision-maker in the world, he knew it was for the best.
She looked down at the book he handed her for a second then looked back up to meet his crystal blue eyes she had gotten so use to. “I trust you Spike, please don’t make me regret it.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
So let's take what we found
And wrap it around us

Love doesn't ask why
It speaks from the heart
And never explains
Don't you know that
Love doesn't think twice
It can come all at once
Or whisper from a distance

Love doesn't ask why
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~






TBC
A/N I know, I know, don’t kill me. This chapter is was a bit difficult I wanted her reaction to be as realistic as possible but Buffy, if that makes any sense. I wanted to show even though she found out What Spike really is, and she is a bit put off by it, their bond was strong enough to over come it.
Be sure to read the next couple of chapters things get really shake up.

REVIEWS I need them.
That’s my motivation to update quicker

Song by Celine Dion/ Love doesn’t ask why.

Sorry for the delay in updates (Especially to Kimmie ; ) )

Drawings of Buffy and Spike r from
http://zindy.zone.dk/ ( Really good site.)

AUTHOR NOTE- OCT-01-06
I'm am so sorry u guys I know I haven't updated in a while and I am really sorry I just had a lot on my plate, but I will be continuing the story and I hope to have chapter 10 out by the 4th or 7th of this month which is soon. I hope u all aren't 2 upset with me.

Chapter 10 Walk me home

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Walk me home
I don't wanna go all the way alone
Baby would you walk with me home
Baby would you take my hand
come with me now to a special land
Baby would you walk with me home
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

There was a strange calm around Buffy as she walked home and that bothered her a lot after everything that just happened she shouldn't be as calm as she was right now. She should be panicing or scared shitless, but calm she denfinatly shouldn't be.

But she was she knew Spike was not treat to her but how would things be between them, could they really still be romantic like she thought they could be.

Finally walking up her drive way she saw her moms car, which was a little strange because she was home early. Walking threw the front door she noticed the house felt light and coincidently calm, it hadn't felt like that in years. It almost felt like a home.

"Mom"

"I'm in the kitchen sweetie"

Turning the corner she saw her mom standing in front of the stove. "Hey, your home early"

"Yeah, well I didn't really go to work today I went to the police station to file a restraining order against you father."

Now to say she wasn't shocked would be an understatement, she said so casually like saying the sky is blue. "Do you think that's really going to do any good?"

"I don't know honey but I've had to do something, things can't continue on how they have been. I can't live like that any more and I know you can't either, I'm not going to put you threw that anymore.

'She watched her mom turn around and face the stove again stirring what ever was in the pot, there was a few minutes of comfortable silence. She didn't know what to say she was beyond happy things were finally turning around. She knew it wouldn't be easy but things would be easier if her parents go a div....'

"Buffy I will be divorcing your father, this relationship was over a long time ago, I want to know how you feel about that?"

Smiling she said "that's the best thing I've heard you say in a long time mom"

"Good... good I'm glad you'll be okay with this because knowing your father this isn't gonna be an easy transition"

"I know"

"Good, could you chop the tomatoes for the salad"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
3 AM
You're on my mind once again
I must have been dreaming
Thought I felt your heartbeat just then
And I wondered how it would be
If I was your lady and you were my friend
I would put my heart in your hands
And it would never end
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That night she acually felt peaceful, which was funny considering all the drama that was going on in her life at the moment.

Between what was happening between her parents and what happened with Spike would be enough to make the sanest person go crazy, but lucky for her she was already insane so nothing lost.

She looked over on the night stand and saw the book Spike gave her.

"I might as well start to read it, it looks like it's going take a month to read."

Her eyes started to blur looking at her clock on the night stand and saw 3:15 am, "Oh my ... you've got to be kidding me" she had to be up in two hours to get ready for school.

'I guess I got really cared away, she hadn't plan to read as much as she did but it was so hard to put down. There a lot of interesting in here. Not to mention the section on mating, she had literally turned as red as a tomato, not only was it in very deep detail but there were also pictures. There were things in there that would make porn star Jenna Jameson blush.'

Then that got her thinking what it would be like to be with Spike, she had a feeling that it would be amazing. She wanted to read more but she couldn't even see the words anymore everything was a blur.

Buffy slid the book under the bed and looked over at her clock radio to see 3:27 am, that was the last thing see saw before she passed out.

That night she dream't of him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Baby would you walk me home (walk me home)
I don't wanna go all the way alone (all alone)
Baby would you walk with me home
Baby would you take my hand (take my hand)
Come with me now to a special land (ohh)
Baby would you walk with me home
I hold your picture,
Next to my heart all the time
Oh yeah baby
You're my dream come true
So glad you're mine
and I wonder how it would be
If I was your lady and you were my friend
I would put my heart in your hands
And it would never end
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That Monday after school buffy went straight home knowing the house would be empty just like she wanted it to be, there wasn't much of the book left to read but she wanted it to be quiet while she read it.

Fixing a quick snack she jogged upstairs to her room.

The next day she to ditch her last two classes, she couldn't concentrate all she could think about was Spike

As Buffy raised her hand to knock the door she remembered ' sunlight equals no spike answering the door' she dug into her purse until she found her key. She quietly entered and slipped off her shoes.

Looking around the lower lever of the house she came up with no Spike, with a deep breath she quietly walked up the stairs there where so many doors she didn't know which to try first. She decide to try the one all the way door the hall facing her.
As quietly as she could she opened the door. He was laying on his stomach with his head turned to the left with his arm slightly coving his eyes, it looked to her as if he were sleeping but Spike woke up the moment she rounded the corner down the street.
He didn't want to startle her so he just laid there, to say that he was a little surprised to see her so soon would be an understatement.

He had been afraid that Buffy would never step foot in this house let alone his bedroom. But what could he say his Buffy was always full of surprises.

She took the time to look around the room. He had a kinda dark goth atmoshere going on. Black walls, crimson curtains covering the windows and blocking out the sunlight, and the sheets on his bed were the same dark crimson color and it looked like the fabric could be silk. Speaking of the bed he had one of the largest beds she had ever seen, it looked like it could fit five adults on there. If that really was silk covering his bed the it most have cost a lot of money, because that was a lot of fabric.


Her eyes finally fell back to him the sheets were barely covering him, her eyes widened as she realized that he was naked under the covers. His back was a picture of perfection, he was exaclty what a man should look like, Buffy had always hate guys that looked like they could crush you if they hugged you. Spike had muscle mind you but he was also lean, a perfect combination. And his arms were cut, they looked strong and powerful.

Buffy wondered what it would be like to be in those arms, better yet in that bed in his arms.

Spike wondered what his naughty little Buffy was thinking about. She had been in the room for a while now most likely looking around but her heart beat started racing. Spike decided to break the silence.

" Didn't expect to see you here so soon pet."

She jumped forgetting for a moment that she wasn't the only one in the room. "I thought you were asleep."

"I was but knew you were here" before she could ask how he answered. "I smelled you"

" Like me perfume or me me"

"Both"

"ew"

"To you it is, it's far from that for me."

'She did remember something in the book saying that vampires had really good sense of smell, well a really good sense of everything.'

"OK, lets find a new topic"

"Alright what are you doing here luv?"

He always went straight for the kill didn't he. " I read the book"

"And you finish it already?" He really didn't think she would finish off the book that fast there were a lot of things in there from how vampires were turned to mating and bonds.

"Well not all of it... a lot but not all."

"So that's why your here, you have questions"

"Not really it's just..." 'How could she say this, she was happy, happier then had been in a long time'

"My parents are getting a divorce" She didn't mean to just blurt it out like that, it's just her mind wasn't working all that well at the moment.

'Of all the things he expected her to say 'My parents are getting a divorce wasn't one of them. He knew how things were at home and couldn't help but think the divorce would be a good thing for her but how would she feel about it.'

"And how do you feel about that luv?" He watched her facial expressions to find his answer there, when he realized for like the hundredth time since he found he again how much she captivated him, utterly and completely.
"Happy" the sound of her own voice surprised her as she realized there had been a few moments of silence before she spoke again.
"I'm happy for you luv" he replied with a tilt of his head, eyes roaming her face.
"You deserve to be happy"
She giggled slightly, "I don't know everythings changing so fast..." Buffy trailed off when she noticed his intense gaze that took her breath away.
He knew she wasn't just talking about her parents situation, but decided to let her be the one to bring up that subject.
"Change can be a good luv"
Looking into his eyes she smiled and said "Yeah it can be"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Baby would you walk me home (walk me home)
I don't wanna go all the way alone (all alone)
Baby would you walk with me home
Baby would you take my hand (take my hand)
Come with me now to a special land (ohh)
Baby would you walk with me home
Everyday and night I wanna hold you
Understand that I am gonna love you
In my own special way (in my own special way)
Ohh
Baby would you walk me home
I don't wanna go all the way alone
Baby would you walk with me home
If you take my hand (take my hand)
Come with me now to a special land
Baby would you walk with me home
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Mandy Moore -Walk me home
TBC
I know I know it's been a little while, you know how life can be sometimes.
But I will be trying my hardest to update more often.
Review please I want to know what my readers think.
More soon I hope. ; )

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 11. Calm before the storm.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It had been two months since her mother told her about the divorce, and about two months since she found out how Spike really was. Surprisingly everything was going better. She couldn't remember the last time things had been so good.
She and Spike picked up a routine, she would see him on the weekdays after school and he would walk her home afterward. He had even met her mom. The surprising thing was her mother actually took a liking to Spike. The first thing she thought her mother would have done was grill her about Spikes age and how they had met. Being as though it was clear Spike wasn't in high school anymore. But she didn't, not even after Spike left. She had a feeling if it had been anyone other than Spike she would have down her throat. But she wasn't, it was almost kinda creepy how well she and spike got along.

One day Buffy had after school and came home to find Spike and her mother in the kitchen drinking coco and talking about some kind of soap opera and laughing. 'Can you say beyond weird?'

~*FLASH BACK~*

"Mom I'm home!"

"We're in the kitchen"

“We’re?" she thought confused

Walking into the kitchen she was surprised to find sitting across from her mom with a cup of coco and what looked like marshmallows in front of Spike.

"Hey Spike... what are you doing here?"

"He came by worried when you didn't show up at his place after school” she said with her eye brows raised. But it was obvious Spike already told her something to ease her mind about what she was doing over there.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you I had to stay after school today, I would have forgotten to if Willow didn't remind me."

"S'all right pet, Joyce here eased all my fears with a cup of her coco here"

"You do make the best coco mom."

"Why thank you." She said smiling.

Starting up the conversation again Joyce asked. “So Buffy how was studying with Willow?"

Sitting between her mom and Spike, "Good, I think a couple of things actually stuck."

"Studying for a test pet?"

"Yeah, midterms to be exact."

"If you needed help all you had to do was ask"

"Yeah, I should have thought about that being as though you were around when all those things happened in history" she said smiling.

"Oy not all of them just a few."

Laughing she said. "I'm just kidding Spike"

"What do you mean he was around?" her mom asked.

She looked to Spike for some help but he just smiled and continued to drink his coco leaving her to explain.

"It's just something I tease Spike about, you know inside joke." She said hoping her mom would just leave it as that, and thankfully she did.

~*END FLASH BACK*~

There was just something about Spike that was just so likeable you just couldn't help loving the sarcastic ass. Wait a minute LOVE?

That night after Spike dropped her off; she walked into the house to hear her mother yelling on the phone with who she could only guess to be her father. Ever since the big incident two months ago Hank hadn't been back. And for that she was happy, beyond happy and so was her mom but listening to her mother right now things didn't sound too good.

Walking quietly into the kitchen she could see her mother standing with her back to her, and from her could hear they were arguing about money. Her father was very wealthy not that you would ever know it. Hank had a mansion in LA which was probably where he was right now with one of his secretaries that were about her age. That was who he spent his money on, his whores.
She and her mother knew this, they've know for a long time now. When she was younger she used to spend her nights crying about her broken family thinking it was something that she did. It took her a while to see it was nothing she did or didn't do. And no matter how good she was or how many as she brought home it wouldn't change.

So she just accepted his behavior instead of fighting it. But Buffy did notice something about herself.

Because of her father Buffy never felt the urge to date or have guy friends; she pretty much stayed clear of them. She talked to them is school but outside of that she didn't really care to date or hang out. She had girl friends especially when she was in LA. And now that she moved she had Willow, Willow was her life line here in Sunnydale. But of coarse Willow didn’t really know what went on here, there were times she wanted to invite Willow over for dinner or to just hang out like normal teenage girls did, but she was afraid of how this would turn out. You knew really knew what you were going to get when you came home from school, some days things were ok which meant Hank was working late or out of town. But when he was home you could always count on an argument whether it was between him and her mother or if it was her.


But now there was Spike, and the weird thing was she found herself missing him when he wasn't there. Missing the sound of his voice or the cutie head tilting thing he did when he was listening very intensely to what you were saying. Or the way he smelt of tobacco, leather, and something else. A combination that was just Spike.

She didn't really know how to define what they had, they were friends she knew that much but they were also something else to. Something more and that made her nervous, really really nervous. He was always so calm as if he already knew the answer and was calmly waiting for her to figure it out.
Her mom slamming the phone down brought her out of her thoughts; she turned around and almost jumped out of her skin.

"Buffy, when did you get in?"

"A little while ago, so I'm guessing that was Hank on the phone."

"Uh, yeah it was" Her mother seemed really nervous for some reason.

"You ok mom?"

"Buffy I'm fine, I just had a really tough day at work today and this phone call didn't make it any better... so how was school, Spike?"

"Fine... school was fine, Spikes fine... Mom is there something I need to know about what just happened on the phone with Hank, because you don't look fine"

"No Buffy everything’s fine for now, it's just you know how your father can be sometimes, one day when you’re married you'll understand, or on second thought I hope you don't. I don't want you going through this."

"Well you don't have to worry about that mom, because I'm very going to get married."

"And why is that?"

"Hello mom, look at Hank”

"Buffy not all men are like your father, some can be ..."

"Mom please spare me the prince charming lecture, those are fairy tales, as in not real."

Joyce smiled "What about Spike?"

Buffy almost spilled the apple juice she had been pouring. “What about Spike?"

"I'm not blind Buffy... I see the way he looks at you and the way you look at him."

"What are you talking about, there was no looking, there isn't any looking... how does he look at me?"

Laughing "I'm sure there isn't any look dear"

"Well there isn't, Spike and I are just friends, really good friends" ' friends that have kissed before but that was beside the point' " and even if there was something it would never work out.”

"And why is that?"

"Well...he's... and then...well...well, well it just wouldn't work."

"You still haven't given me one good reason yet honey."

"Oh… I know he's older." She said proudly happy she found a reason she could tell her mother, she could very well say because he's a vampire.

"Yes well I had my concerns about that in the beginning, but Spike is a very intelligent young man and I believe he really cares about you Buffy."

'Buffy almost laughed when her mom said Spike was a young man, if she only knew.' 'This conversation was getting off track'

"I thought we were talking about Hank?"

"We were, and now we're talking about Spike."

"Well I don't wanna talk about Spike"

"Well I don't what to talk about Hank right now."

"Mom you’re avoiding the issue, that conversation I walked in on seemed pretty intense." Why and what was her mom hiding.

"It was, but I don't want to talk about it right now dear, please."

"Fine"

"Are you hungry? I could fix you something to eat."

"No, me and Spike went to the bronze and had wings and onion rings."

Joyce smiled a knowing smile again. "Ok honey, I'm going to bed, night"

"Night mom"

Buffy's mind was all over the place, from the conversation she had with her mother about Spike and the non-conversation she had about her father. She knew something was going on especially after what she had heard tonight, and she knew without a doubt in her mind it was serious. Now she had a headache, what she needed was sleep, lots and lots of sleep. Turning off the kitchen lights she went upstairs.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Outside in backyard Spike smiled and turned around to go under the tree near Buffy's window. Spike had heard the entire conversation. And he just like Buffy knew there was something Joyce was keeping from Buffy, something serious. Joyce sometime confided in him about her marriage with Hank. Not that he needed her to tell him the relationship with Hank was unhealthy, he was none to judge being as though he had been in an unhealthy relationship once. But the sooner Hank was out of the picture the better off Buffy and Joyce would be. Reaching under the tree he saw her lights go on.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Things were changing so fast, not only the things around her but she herself was changing, she felt it. It was a very strong feeling, it was powerful. She never felt normal or that she had a life like the girls in school, but she had always just blamed it on Hank and her dysfunctional home life. But now Hank was gone and the feeling was still there. It wasn't the same feeling but still strong and weird. Things were a whole lot better but something was different, she felt it more around the time Spike came into her life. When ever he was around she felt a weird pull, it wasn't bad, it was a tingling feeling. Maybe it was because he's a vampire; Buffy knew the only thing holding her back from furthering a relationship with Spike was herself. The fear of him turning into her father, she couldn't bear it if he did even though she knew it wouldn't. Not with Spike.

Spike was perfect in so many ways; he was exactly what she always wanted in her life. He was caring, sexy, passionate, thoughtful, and primal.

There had to be something wrong with him, even the fact that he was a vampire didn't bother her anymore, not really anyway.

What bothered her was the fact that it didn't bother her; she couldn't even remember what it was like before he came into her life it was like he was always with her somehow and now she found him again. He had become such a big part of her life. And it scared her, Spike and her mother was all she had.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N
Don't kill me let me explain. ; )
I know it's been a while since my last update.
But I had a lot of things going on, and to top it off my computer had a virus and I had to take everything off my computer. Including two chapters I had already wrote.
I had to start over with everything. ; (
That wasn't any fun. But now my computer is back and up to date. ; )
And I want to get things moving along. Enjoy.

Now for the story, things will be taking a big dramatic turn in the next couple chapters.
I wonder what’s going to happen. ; )

Now I need reviews guys, it's my motivation, so lets c them ; )

REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS PEOPLE!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 12. CrawlIn in the Shadows
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ok so she really really didn't feel like going to LA which was weird because since she moved to Sunnydale all she wanted to do was go back to LA. And now she had the opportunity to stay the weekend in LA, and see all her old friends. And she didn't want to. She wanted to stay so she could see Spike and it would have been perfect to, with her mom gone for the weekend. She would have had the whole house to herself and complete freedom.

But nooo she had to go with her mom because of the whole divorce thing. But she was happy because once this was over it was over for good. And that was something she was more than looking forward to.

"BUFFY, ARE YOU ALMOST DONE?"

"YEAH, MOM ALMOST JUST GIVE ME TEN MORE MINUTES"

"We have to leave soon,"Joyce said coming into the room.

"Ok, Ok"

"This is almost over sweetie."

"I know"

"What's the matter honey I thought you would be more excited about going back to LA to visit, when we first moved here that's all you talked about."

" I know... It's just... Things are different now"

Joyce smiled a knowing smile and said while walking out of the room " Don't worry sweetie, Spike will still be here when you get back"
Buffy's eyes almost bugged out of her head " that's not what I meant MOM!"
"Of course it's not sweetie!" " Five minutes and we have to go"

Ugh that that was so not the reason she didn't what to go to LA. I mean there was Willow and ... and Xander. Please she didn't even remember Spike.

LIAR!!!! Her mind screamed at her.

'She wasn't lying'

'Well maybe she was just a little but that wasn't the whole reason she tried convincing herself. Spike was just a bonus if she had stayed and her mom was really starting to get on her nerves with the whole intuitive mother instinct crap!'

So yeah, Spike was GORGEOUS, SEXY, MYSTERIOUS, and the ac.... crap she was doing it again.
"He's just a friend, just a friend, FRIEND, FRIEND" 'maybe if she just keep repeating it she would finally believe it'
"Buffy lets go"
'Not likely' she said under her breath.'
"COMING"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Laying back on his bed smoking a cigarette his mind was on one thing, or one person and that was Buffy. She said she and her mom were going to LA to finalize things with the divorce. So basically this weekend was going to be a bust.
' He was bored out of his bloody skull already'
" Guess I'll just see what's on the tele" he'd finished flipping through all the channel within two minutes and there wasn't a bleedin thing on'
Yeah he was going to be bored out of skull.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Buffy, I can't hear myself think"

"But I like this song, and my favorite part is coming up" she said in a whining voice.

It had been a while since she had seen her daughter so happy. "Fine but after this song the radio goes down a bit."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Faces I remember, I'll still see
And places in a memory, hold on to me
I can't wait to crawl out of my shell
Promises tell me in a thousand ways Movin on forever
Livin' life this way
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Everything was just as she had left it, her room everything. For some reason her parents didn't sell the old house. But after the divorce she was sure they would. Not that she care this house held a lot of bad memories for her and her mom. A lot of memories she won't be sad to see go.

"Buffy I just got off the phone with Mr. Jefferson" Mr. Jefferson was their lawyer, he was a sweet old man and funny too.

"He said you don't have to be present at the actual meeting with your father but he does need to ask you a few questions and then your free to go.

"He's on his way over , then you can hang out with Jennifer and Cindy all day if you like."

"OK, no prob"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
And I can't wait to crawl
I can't wait at all
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The meeting wasn't that long he need to know a few things, then she was off, she was really curious to see what her old friends were up to. She called them before she actually made it to LA to tell them she was coming for a visit. After the screaming and Oh my goshes they calmed down and cleared there weekend. Cindy and Jennifer were basically your typical LA girls a bit vain and shallow but deep down they were good girls. It was decided that they would spend the afternoon shopping and the night dancing at one of the hottest clubs in LA. She loved the Bronze but comparing to the clubs in LA the Bronze calmer. A lot calmer.

Walking into the club she realized one thing the club hadn't changed in the lest, except it looked like they were allowing younger girls in the club, of course you couldn't really tell at first glance because they defiantly didn't look fourteen or fifteen. There skirts were so short that they looked like band-aids and lets not talk about the tops, if you could even call them that.

"Lets find our table" Cindy said. Ever since they could remember coming to this club they always sat at the same table. It was like an unspoken rule and everyone knew it.

Jennifer got up to get some drinks "anyone want?"

"I'll have a diet coke" Cindy said.

"No thanks" Buffy said

"So how's Sunnyhell?"

Laughing Buffy remembered when she first moved to Sunnydale she would call Jennifer and Cindy upset almost every night and complain about how boring and annoying Sunnydale was that how Buffy came up with the term Sunnyhell.

"Acually it's not that bad"

"What, OH MY GOSH you totally meet a guy didn't you?"

"Oh, gosh you sound like my mom."

"You did didn't you!?"

"She did what?" Asked Jennifer walking up to the table with the drinks.

"She meet a hot guy in Sunnyhell, and she wont spill."

"Really" Jennifer asked smiling "well are you gonna make us beg or are you gonna spill!!!"

"WHAT"S HIS NAME?"

"WHAT GRADE IS HE IN?"

"WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE?"

Buffy was bombarded with questions, which she expected. At that moment she remember when Willow asked pretty much the same questions the same way.

"His name is Spike and before you ask no it's not his real name it's a nickname, his real name is William" To say that they were interested would be an understatement.

"Well how old is he, is he a senior?"

"No"

"Ewe is he younger?" Cindy asked making a face.

"No" Buffy said not looking at them "He's kinda not in high school anymore"

"OH MY GOSH!!!"

"HOLY SHIT!!!"

"How old is he?" They both asked at the same time.

"He's twenty-eight" she said waiting for the explosion.

"WOW"

"SHIT, how come were just hearing about this now, how come you never said anything. Even this afternoon you little s...."

"Is he hot?"

Two pairs of eyes immediately zeroed in on her, blowing off she answered.
"He's GORGEOUS" Buffy said putting her head in her hands.

"So what's the problem? Is it the age difference, because still not seeing the problem here. Older guys are HOT! And they have more experience if you know what I mean."

"No it's not the age, even my mom loves him"

"So I'm defiantly not seeing the problem even your mom is giving you the thumbs up and your still hesitating."

"Oh crap is he gay" Jennifer asked.

"No, he's defiantly not... it's just complicated ok."

"But there is something going on between you two right?"

She knew she couldn't deny it anymore especially not to Jennifer or Willow for that matter especially with the resolve face. Jennifer could get anything out of anyone.

"Yeah there is, I think so"

"Well good for you said Cindy"

"I soo need to come to Sunnyhell for a visit to find my own hottie" Jennifer said laughing.
She really missed them Cindy and Jennifer always had so much energy you couldn't help but to be suck into it after a while.

She really was enjoying herself. She just got off the dance floor with Jennifer walking back over to the table where Cindy was.

"Ooh liquid refreshments" she said taking a sip of water when she felt it. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. She remembered the feeling she got at the Bronze when Spike was watching her, but this was the complete opposite.

She didn't feel excited at all, it felt uncomfortable and weird almost bad. Looking around the club she didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Maybe there was a vampire around or something, but she definitely didn't feel like she did when Spike was around.

"Hey Buffy that guy over there has been totally checking you out all night"

"Who" she asked looking at Cindy.

"The one in the far corner, he's basically in the shadow, tall, dark hair, dark eyes"

Looking at her "how do you know he has dark eyes?"

"Because when you were on the dance floor he was circling the dance floor looking at you and I caught a look his face."

That's when Buffy got a good look at his face, he stepped out of the shadows heading towards the exit, and a chill went down her spine, and it wasn't a good kind of chill. It's not that he wasn't good looking, because he was but there was something uncalming about him. And she got all that with just one look. But just before he walked through the door he turned and looked directly at her and smiled and then he was gone.

"Creepy Much" joked Jennifer.

"Yeah...Creepy"

And the night went on.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I can't wait to crawl Cuz if I wait too long
How am I ever gunna reach my destination?
And now I know the time has come
It's all right here yeah
It's all so clear to me Eyes that open slowly
It's so hard to see
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Walking home gave Buffy time to think about everything maybe her mom and Jennifer where right, maybe she should come to term with the whole Spike thing. So yeah they kissed a couple of times and she spent most of her time with him and enjoyed how he would find little ways to touch her or be near her.
'FINE' she screamedin her mind 'I like him ok I really, really like him. It's not like she didn't know it. It's just that the more she put it off the more she felt protected somehow.
This is all his fault with him being all sexy and delicious to look at. (and his voice, all deep and sexy and the accent)

"All his fault"

Walking up her drive way she paused, something was off, looking behind her see saw nothing really off but something felt off shrugging it off she walked up to the door and went inside.
"What a night"

What she didn't know was that someone else was thinking the same exact thing. Smiling to himself "Have a goodnight Buffy"
He heard one of the little girls call her that at the club.

"I'll be seeing you soon sweetheart, real soon." he said walking off into the shadows of the night.

~*~*~*~SUNNYDALE/ SPIKE"S CRYPT~*~*~*~

"Bloody fuckin hell there close by"

"SHIT" 'something was about to go downsoon, something big.'

"The bloody Poof was coming to Sunnydale"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I've never seen an angel
But I'm trying to believe And I can't wait to crawl
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She couldn't sleep she had been in bed for more than an hour and a half and here she was still staring up at the ceiling, she wish she could talk to Spike, he always had a way of making everything seem like it would be ok. She had a lot of fun tonight and knowing the divorce was final made things seem as though they would be ok but then night something happened. And even though she didn't know exactly what it was she knew it was the beginning of something. Good or bad she didn't know, but knowing her luck it would most likely be bad. And that's how she fell asleep mentally preparing for what was to come.

~*~Across Town~*~
"Did you see sunshine Daddy, did you see her?"

"Yes I did cupcake"

"Miss Edith says she's bright, like the sun...sooo pretty"

"Yes she is Dru, she is"

"Can she be mines daddy can she?"

"We'll see Dru, now lets go in the back and play a little game"


Sunday morning and afternoon she spent with her mom, they weren't out to lunch and got ready to head home, the drive back to Sunnydale was the total opposite than when they came, a nice somber silence.

"Did you have fun with the girls?"

"Yeah we got caught up... I told them about Spike"

Joyce smiled "and what exactly did you tell them"

"That you know...just... You know"

"I'm glad that you finally see the light honey."

"Why does everyone keep saying that"

"Because it's true"

"Whatever"

"Well here we are, home sweet home"

"Yeah... Home sweet home"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
WELCOME TO SUNNYDALE
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I can't wait at all
I can't to crawl
I can't wait anymore
I can't wait anymore
I can't wait anymore
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N
Hey everyone I know it's been a while I hope everyone still remembers this story.
I'm trying really hard to update sooner. (once a week I'm gonna try really hard)
As you can see Angelus and Dru is now in the mix. What's gonna happen when Spike and his family reunite on the hell mouth.
Trouble and tragedy is just around the corner.
The song Is by THIS WAY- Crawl ( I don't know if many would remember but this song was used in a WB promo, with the cast from all the shows on the WB at the time.) You should watch the video. (It will take you back, it all ways does for me) ; )

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I need reviews people it's my motivation.