The laws of the school yard



Well, it was never easy being the new kid at school, and God knows Spike was crapping himself more than most kids, considering that his new school was on an entirely different continent to his old one. Yep, for some insane reason his mother had decided that gaining custody over him in the divorce settlement had given her a new lease of freedom, and the best way to appreciate said freedom would be to uproot everything she had built with her ex husband, and take their one and only child to a strange and foreign country.


So voila, half a week later and here he was, pulling into a parking space that was far too small and understated for his baby [his baby being a pretty badly beat up old Desoto that he’d managed to salvage from a nearby car auction on the second day in his new home] and ready to start his first day at Sunnydale High. Spike stepped out of his car, one black boot at a time, and he noticed a couple of girls stopping to watch his jean clad legs follow.


It made him smirk, and he was glad that he was having a similar effect on these girls, as he did the ones back in England.


Half an hour later he was registering in the Head’s office, collecting his papers and books, listening to some little rat-faced man drone on about strict disciplinary techniques, and glancing down at the school map he’d been given. After that he was all but ready to start.


His first lesson of the day was English Literature, and he had to admit he was a little bit pleased about this. After all, it wasn’t so long ago that poetry had been his one true love, and being forced to read it again [whilst obviously pretending to detest the topic] was something Spike didn’t mind doing at all.


Unfortunately he was ten minutes late for the lesson, and had to suffer the humiliation of entering an already settled classroom.


“Ah- William Abbot I presume.” said the teacher, setting down her glasses on the desk. “You have a seat- right there.” she pointed to a chair positioned next to a very pretty looking girl with long, dark hair. “I presume you have the relevant reading?”


Spike held up the selection he’d been handed, never taking his eyes from the girl as the teacher worded her approval of his books.


She wasn’t looking back at him; rather, she was looking down at the book in her hands, her finger tracing the words as her eyes danced with wonder at whatever it was she was reading. It made Spike smile, and he thought that perhaps showing love for English Literature wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.


“Feel free to find your seat in your own time William.” his new teacher said dryly, and he reddened slightly, realising that every single person, bar the girl, was watching him intently.


“Sure.” he said, making his way toward his new desk and sitting down lightly beside the girl who he now saw was engrossed in a fashion magazine, hidden behind a thick volume. It made him smile slightly at her rebellion, despite the slight disappointment he felt at discovering she wasn’t really engaged in something literary.


“Hi.” he said, and she looked up as if she had failed to notice his presence until that precise moment. “M’names Spike.”


He saw her giving him a quick once over with flickering dark eyes, and smirked when he saw satisfaction darken her gaze slightly.


“Is that so?” she asked in a silky voice, and her accent instantly spoke volumes to him.


“You’re English too?” he asked, and she smiled brightly at that.


“Yes. Born in New York, but raised in the Midlands.” she allowed herself to sigh slightly, “My parents decided to make the move to California after a particularly cold winter, about three years ago. You?”


“I’ve lived in London my whole life.” he said, “My mum’s just on a bit of a freedom kick right now.”


The pretty girl smirked, and then subtly eyed him up again. She leaned back in her seat, seeming to be deciding something.


Finally, she looked back into his eyes; smiling slightly.


“I’m Drusilla.” she said.


And Spike smiled back.

_________________________________________________


When the lesson ended and Drusilla showed Spike to the next room, it became evident that she was an incredibly popular girl indeed. The group of friends that flocked around her talked of frivolous things; giggling and laughing together, whilst wearing the most fashionable outfits, and being the most attractive people he’d ever come across.


They all questioned Drusilla about him instantly; despite the fact that he was stood right beside her, but she merely smiled and said that he was hers now.


He kinda liked that.

__________________________________________________


The next lesson went by in a blur, and Spike barely even noticed the quiet little blond next to him, too intent on thinking about his Drusilla. His dark princess. His.


Okay, so he’d always been a little possessive, but an intense feeling had welled in his chest the very first moment he’d seen her, and he didn’t think it was something he’d be able to just shake over night. Might as well accept that she was going to be the girl he’d spend the next six months mooning after if she decided to reject him.


He always was love’s bitch.


“Oooooh, who’s this?” asked a grinning little blonde as Spike and Drusilla made their way toward the cafeteria.


Drusilla merely looked at the girl with disinterest, saying “Out of your league Harmony.” dismissing the girl with a flick of her hand.


“That’s the tenth time I’ve heard you say that today.” Spike said with a small smirk, “You must think a lot of me pet.”


“You know, I think I do.” she replied, a small smile of her own tugging at her red lips. “Or perhaps I just want you all to myself.”


Spike smirked at Drusilla’s flirtatious behaviour as they turned the corner; far too lost in the alluring girl’s eyes to notice the small blond hurtling around the bend in the opposite direction. He was busy watching Drusilla’s eyelashes flutter as he felt Buffy Summers crash into him; and the collision did little to draw him away from the object of his affection.


Drusilla, however, did look to the distraction, and her lips drew back in an ugly sneer as her eyes settled on the small girl scuffling around on the floor, trying to recollect her fallen books.


“In a hurry?” she asked in that lacy voice of hers, “Are we supposed to believe that you actually had some place to be?”


Buffy glared at Dru, getting to her feet, “So what if I do?” she snapped, and Spike blanched; immediately disgusted by her brash character.


Drusilla let herself flinch in feigned shock; glad to see that Spike was drawing closer to her in genuine concern.


“Buffy, I was only enquiring; worried about your welfare.” Drusilla said; allowing herself a smirk that Spike was too close to her to see.


“Oh for God’s...” Buffy muttered. Then she flipped her slightly dirty looking blond hair over her shoulder as she growled, “Don’t even start with me today Drusilla. You see, I’m in a really bad mood right now, and I’d hate to see you being hurt, so maybe you should think about getting the Hell out of my way before I-”


“Hey now!” interrupted an angry sounding voice, and Buffy turned with annoyance to glare at its bleached owner.


“Oh don’t even start.” she snapped, not even bothering to look at his worthless face, “I don’t need this.”


She tried to charge past him, but he caught her, pushing her back.


“No,” he said, “You don’t get to talk like that to her. She was only-”


“Who the Hell do you think you are?” Buffy snapped, narrowing her eyes dangerously. “You don’t know anything about me so just- just stay the Hell outta my way.”


With that, she stormed past him; crashing into his shoulder without apologising, and not noticing as one of her books once again slipped from her shoulder bag.


She kept walking despite the looks she knew she was getting. She kept her head down, and her eyes focused on her feet; desperate not to let them see her cry.


She’d be fine, just as soon as she made it to


‘The Library’


The huge sign loomed down at her, and she wiped her eyes harshly, not wanting Giles to see how she was hurting. Once she was sure she’d composed herself, she plastered a huge, false smile across her face, then pushed the door open slowly.


“Giles?” she called as she walked into the room, “You in here?”


“Hey Buffy.” said Willow, the sweet girl she seemed to be spending the majority of her spare time with these days. “Are you okay.”


“I’m fine!” she said brightly. Too brightly, but Willow didn’t press the matter as Giles walked out of his office, thinking she would leave it to him to discover what was troubling the poor girl.


“Buffy?” he asked as he saw her smiling in the centre of the room; her eyes bleary and watery. “Are you okay my dear?”


“I’m fine!” she repeated, and that horribly fake smile was back again. “Seriously. I’m just here to hang guys. Where’s Xan anyway?”


“He went home to grab some lunch.” Willow said, looking at her strange new friend closely. “You sure you’re-”


“I’m fine!” Buffy interrupted, but this time her voice wavered a little bit, and she had to sit down very quickly, hiding her head so they didn’t see her tears. “Oh God, I’m so sorry you guys.” she said quietly, and they were both at her side in an instant, offering her words of comfort.


Willow and Buffy’s friendship had blossomed about a year previously, right after Buffy was mocked and deserted by all of her once so-called friends. Willow and Xander had been the only people in school who would even look her way, and admittedly, Xander hadn’t been so keen on her to start with, following all that had been said about her, not to mention the way she had treated him before.


After all, before the terrible thing happened, she had been the most popular girl in Sunnydale High, and back then she’d had very little time for the ‘nerds’ who she now considered to be her best friends.


“They were following me again.” she said quietly, her head still in her hands as she stared down at the wooden table beneath her elbows, “Calling names out at me- and laughing when I sped up to get away. It’s not even that I care what they think anymore, it’s just when they start saying things about Harry; I kinda flip. I can’t stand to hear them say such derisory things about him; it’s just so heartless.” she sighed, finally looking up as Willow’s hand rubbed soothing circles across her back. “And then, being the stupid idiot that I am, I run straight into Dru and that new guy, and despite everything, she’s already made him hate me, and he yelled right at me when I tried to defend myself against that bitch. I just can’t ever seem to get it right!”


“Sshh, Buffy, it’ll be okay.” Willow said, and Giles was quick to agree.


“Karma comes around Buffy, and these children will find out later what it means to suffer; I’m sure of it. No one should be so unkind to you, especially without reason.”


Buffy chuckled, almost sardonically, “The idiots think they have reason.” she said, and she dropped her head into her hands once more. “And now they have a new member for their stupid little gang. Ugh- my life sucks.”


“Hey, it’s not all bad.” Willow argued, pushing Buffy slightly on her shoulder. “You still have Harrison. And...” she added hesitantly, “Us?”


“Oh, God...” Buffy said, pulling back to look at her friend, “I didn’t mean to insult you Wills- you guys are the only thing that keep me going. I know just how lucky I am to have you as friends.”


Willow beamed adorably at that, and the two girls shared a hug that made their kindly librarian smile broadly.


“I just hate them all so much. I can’t believe I really used to be one of them.” she pulled back to look at Willow sincerely. “You know that anything I ever said to you- anything- it was all just egotistical bull. Trying to fit myself in; trying to make myself feel good.” Willow nodded, looking down, and Buffy quickly added, “And Wills, I’m so so sorry. I am not that person anymore; you know that right?”


Willow smiled kindly as she looked back up at her friend.


“Of course I know that.” she replied. Then she added in a much lighter voice, “Anyway, you know I wouldn’t take that kinda crap from you now!”


Buffy giggled, and barrelled the other girl back into a close hug.


“You’re the best.” she said softly, “All of you. I don’t know where I’d be without you guys.”

_________________________________________________
A/N: Please let me know what you think so far, and [as if I even need to bring this up] I just thought I should mention that this is definitely a Spuffy fic, so don’t panic about the temporary Dru-love. I’m afraid it’s necessary.
Anyway, thank you for reading chapter one :]
Love and stuff, Dee xx
_________________________________________________

The laws of the school yard




“So,” Spike said as he sat down beside Drusilla at the lunch table situated right in the center of the cafeteria [of course], “Who was that? And what’s her deal anyway?”


“Buffy Summers.” Dru replied, but before she could dive into the story, she was interrupted.


“Had another run in with little miss Buffy?” asked a very voluptuous blond who positioned herself beside Drusilla. “I feel for you Dru, I really do.”


“Vapid little whore.” agreed another Brunette as she sat down beside Spike.


Drusilla smirked. “Spike, meet Darla and Cordy.” she said, and then she smiled sweetly, “My best friends.”


“Nice to meet you.” he replied; but they were both still desperate to discuss Buffy.


“Think slut-” said Darla.


“Meets serious attitude problem-” Added Cordy.


“Meets total inability to dress one-self-” Continued Darla.


“Add a little bitchy-ness, neediness and a complete and utter lack of attractiveness; and Voila-” Cordy said, smirking coldly, “You have yourself one Buffy Summers.”


“Not someone you like then?” Spike replied, a little sarcastically.


“No.” Drusilla said simply. “She’s not someone who’s worthy or our time; that’s for sure.”


Spike glanced down at the book the girl had dropped, the one he’d subsequently picked up, and decided it was probably not a good idea for him to ask one of these girls to give it back to her.


Resigning himself to having to speak to that acidic little troll again, he slipped her book into his bag with a small sigh.


At that moment, several more people joined the table; and Spike looked up as Drusilla introduced him to them all.


“Spike, this is Angel, Riley, Forest, Parker, Gunn and Grahame.” she said, then she pointed at Spike. “Guys, this is Spike. Play nice.”


“Interesting name.” said the guy that Drusilla had introduced as ‘Angel’; sitting down opposite him, and levelling him with an intent stare. “Should we expect to see you at football tryouts next week Spike?”


Spike almost choked on his lunch.


“Uhh, I don’t think so.” he replied, trying to repress the instant laughter that rose at the idea of himself playing football. Angel’s stare was still intent though, so Spike quickly changed tact. “No, I’m more of a music guy m’self.” he said; eliciting an immediate peel of squeals from the girls.


Angel’s look darkened, and Spike noticed his gaze flicker slightly toward Drusilla.


“I see.” he said darkly, turning his eyes back to Spike again. “Well that’s-”


“So Spike met Buffy already.” Cordy interrupted; obviously in an attempt to steer the conversation back toward common ground, and it must have worked since Angel instantly smirked at him; slapping him on the shoulder.


“Not much to look at, is she?” he asked, and Spike smirked back. “Did you know that she’ll sleep with any guy who offers it to her?”


“So I’ve been told.” Spike replied; and for some reason, he frowned, only slightly. “What’s her problem anyway? She just started yelling at Drusilla for no reason.”


“God, the girl has always had it in for Dru.” Darla drawled, and Cordy was quick to agree.


“She made a target of her the day that Dru got here.” she elaborated, and Spike leaned forward, keen to hear the story.


“Buffy used to rule this school, you know?” said Darla, and Spike’s eyebrows furrowed with interest. “She was at the very heart of the ‘in’ crowd; invited to every party; dating all the guys. Well...” she paused dramatically. “That was before we found out what she was really like.”


“She sleeps around.” Angel offered; and his friends all nodded; murmuring their agreement.


“She has a reputation.” Darla agreed. “And obviously we couldn’t have someone like that in our group.”


“Besides-” continued Cordy, “She has a real attitude problem. She’ll bite your head off if you even look at her a little funny.” she smirked, a small calculating smirk that Spike didn’t see, “Then one day she just went for Dru- with no provocation- and we kicked her out of the group.” she looked at her friend affectionately, “No one hits Drusilla and gets away with it.”


“Didn’t she hit Dru because-” started Riley, but Darla distracted him by leaning forward; giving him a full view down the front of her low-cut top.


“Because?” persisted Spike.


“Because I was the one who confronted her about her extra-curricular activities.” Drusilla said, “She took it the wrong way and proceeded to beat the crap out of me.” she pushed her hair aside slightly to show her new friend the scar that Buffy had left on her neck.


“Oh God...” Spike said; reaching out to squeeze her shoulder comfortingly.


“It’s okay,” she said reassuringly, “And at least one good thing came out of it; because everyone else finally got to see what she’s really like.”

______________________________________


“Oh crap!” Buffy muttered as she sifted through her bag, “Will- I’ve lost my note book.”


“Mmm?”


“My notebook!” she repeated, “God- it must have fallen out of my bag when I collided with that jerk.”


“Well, can’t you just go ask for it back?” Willow asked, then she looked at her friend and amended the sentence. “I’m sure if he has it he’ll give it back.”


“Unless he wants to make my life a misery in every way!” she cried, dropping her head into her hands. “All my assignments are in that book.”


“Your biology paper?” Willow asked, and Buffy nodded with a groan.


“I hate biology,” she whimpered, covering her eyes with her hands, “That paper took me, like, a decade and it’s due in next period.”


“Buffy, calm down, I’m sure this guy isn’t going to-”


“Hate me already?” Buffy asked, “Trust me- if they’ve gotten their claws into them, then he definitely already does.”

______________________________________


“So what do you think of Spike?” Dru asked as she trailed her hands over Angel’s chest. They had snuck off together to the janitor’s closet together, as they did everyday after lunch, without fail. “Think he’s ‘It crowd’ material?”


“You tell me.” Angel replied, suddenly becoming cold against her. “He was all over you at lunch today.”


Dru looked up at him; a slight frown on her face.


“He’s new.” she said simply. “He doesn’t know how we work.”


“Maybe you should have told him.”


“Maybe you should have.”


They glared at each other for a moment, before eventually melting once again; lips meeting with their usual frenzy.


“He’s pretty cool though.” Dru murmured as Angel’s hands began to wander down her thigh, “I think the two of you could be good friends.”


“Yeah?” he asked, “How can you know for sure? He might be just as much of loser as Summers turned out to be.”


“There must be a way.” Drusilla mused as her lips travelled over Angel’s strong arms, “Some kind of test to see whether he’s cool or not.”


“Like an initiation.” Angel agreed,


“Yeah,” Drusilla said, pulling back thoughtfully, “Actually, that’s not a half bad idea.”


Angel didn’t know whether to be insulted or not, “Don’t look so surprised.” he muttered.


Drusilla grinned, slapping him playfully; and he smiled back at her, glad to see that her affections truly did still remain with him.


“So what do we make him do?” she asked, looking up at him expectantly, “It’s gotta be something major, because then, if he doesn’t do it then we’ll know he’s not cool, and so not worth our time.”


Angel looked introspective for a moment as he considered what she wanted him to say.


Then, a few moments later,


“I’ve got it.”


“You do?” Dru asked, and that expectant look was back in her eyes; the look that made him want nothing more than to give her exactly what she wanted.


“Buffy.” he said simply.


“Buffy?”


“We should get him to ask her out; make her think someone’s really interested...”


“Ooh, I like it.”


“If he’s cool- he’ll humiliate her exactly how we tell him to.”


Dru giggled softly, and her arms wrapped around his neck tightly, and she murmured softly, before pressing her lips against his; “I just remembered why I love you so much Liam.”

______________________________________


“You want me to what?” Spike asked; dumbstruck as Drusilla batted her thick eyelashes up at him.


“Ask out Buffy Summers.” she said sweetly.


“Why?”


“Because,” Angel cut in; his expression dark, “We can’t let just anyone into this group. We’re a very select group of people you know.”


“Yeah, I get that but-”


“Because Buffy Summers is the haughtiest little bitch you’ll ever meet, and anyone who can bring her down a peg or two is alright in my books.” Angel said in a cold voice.


“She thinks she so...” Dru sneered as she thought about the girl. Then she shrugged. “It’s just been way too long since someone let her know just how much we hate her.” then she smiled again, turning her charm back on again, “Please Spike- you only have to take her on one date.”


“Whose to say she’ll even agree?” Spike asked, “I mean, she saw me with Dru this morning; she’s going to know that we’re friends. Surly she won’t trust me.”


Angel chuckled slightly, “Spike, let me reiterate to you exactly how desperate this girl is. Believe me, she will not be turning you down.”


“Besides, I’m sure you can be very convincing when you want to be.” Drusilla added; her arms trailing up Spike’s arm as she leaned in a little closer to whisper, “So, will you do it baby?”


Spike watched as Angel’s fists clenched.


“Yeah Spike, you game?” the taller guy asked in a tight voice.


Spike looked between the two, and then thought about the venomous little blonde who had crashed into him without apologising. Who had shouted at Drusilla without reason, and made a point of letting him know how meaningless his existence was to her.


Buffy Summers.


Sure, she seemed exactly the kind of bitch who needed a reality check.


So what did it matter if he ended up humiliating her, as he was sure was the plan?- from what he’d heard, she was fully deserving of everything she received, and he’d probably even be doing a good thing by showing her up in front of those she’d hurt in the past.


After all, the girl had physically scarred Drusilla in the past; he’d seen the marks on her neck, and that made his blood boil beyond reason.


Yeah, he thought to himself with a sneer, maybe this girl needed to suffer.


“I’m game.”


Drusilla squealed, clapping as she pressed her lips to Spike’s cheek.


“This is going to be so much fun!” she said; huge grin on her face. “Buffy Summers-” she mused quietly, “Is going to see where she belongs.”


A few feet away, Angel’s fists were clenching again.

______________________________________
A/N: Spiteful bunch, aren’t they? Please review

The laws of the school yard

_________________________________________
Two years ago

“So I was like, yeah, totally!” Buffy giggled as she linked arms with Cordelia excitedly, “Can you believe it guys? Liam Angel!”


“Notorious bad boy.” said Darla seductively, “Buffy dear, I’m almost jealous.”


“So where’s he taking you?” Cordy asked, causing Buffy to squeal again.


“The movies,” she said; her voice still high with excitement, “I don’t know what we’re watching yet, but I know that it’ll be- Oh, there he is!”


_________________________________________
Now

“Hey- Summers!”


Buffy ignored Angel’s mocking voice; dipping her head so she could walk a little faster.


“Summers!”


He grabbed her shoulder, and she cried out a little as he span her around.


“I’m speaking to you.” he said, a sneer on his face. “That means you stop and you listen.”


Goddamit, she was trying to hold it together, but despite it all, she was still terrified of him. The sudden urge to apologise to him for not answering when he called her name was almost overwhelming, but she pushed it down into her gut.


“What do you want?” she was forcing the words out, and he knew it. It made him chuckle slightly.


“My my my Buffy,” he murmured, and she flinched away from the hand that reached for her cheek. This seemed to anger him again, and his eyes narrowed to a glare as he said. “Spike’s looking for you.”


“Spike?” she asked, desperate to understand what the hell he was talking about, just so she could get away from him, “I... What...”


“Spike Abbot.” Angel said impatiently, “You know, the new guy.”


“Oh...” Buffy said, “Right.”


Well, okay; the new guy she could deal with. In fact, she could pretty much deal with anyone these days; her new snarky attitude had seen to that. It was just Angel... He was still the only one she couldn’t face. The only one who still managed to effect her.


He rolled his eyes at her, then propelled her around once more and pushed her away from him.


“God Summers,” he muttered, “Get a grip already.”


_________________________________________
Two years ago

This had to be the awesomest thing that had ever happened to her.


Buffy could hardly believe that she was here right now; standing beneath the stars with Liam Angel’s arms warm around her slight body.


Angel...


So what if wise men said ‘only fools rush in’- she was falling in love; falling, toppling, tumbling; and she didn’t care.


All that mattered in that moment was the feel of his warm breath against her cheek.


The caress of his bare arms against hers.


She could stand this way forever. Forever and ever.


He was the only one she wanted and she knew, she knew, he was the only man she would ever love in all her life.


________________________________________
Now

Yeah, Angel had hurt her badly. But what hurt the most was that she had loved him; loved him with all of her heart, and when it mattered most; when all of her old friends were laughing and taunting her; he had turned on her too.


He’d stepped away from her.


Touched Drusilla’s hand whilst still looking into Buffy’s eyes.


Then they were all mocking her; and it was all because of him. He wasn’t just a part of it; he had started it.


Buffy wiped at a tear making a solo voyage down her smooth cheek. “God- get a grip Summers.” she muttered, repeating his sentence from earlier.


But hearing his words on her tongue made her shudder; like he was plaguing her body now.


She shuddered again.


“Buffy Summers, isn’t it?”


She turned around, and God, she’d be lying if she said her heart didn’t skip a beat when she saw Spike Abbot standing there behind her. If she hadn’t already seen him clinging onto Drusilla like some kind of leech, she might have thought that he was slightly attractive. Kinda hot even.


But no; she had to remind herself that he was the enemy.


He was already one of them; he’d made that perfectly clear.


“What the Hell do you want?” she asked; practically spat.


Spike looked down at the angry little blonde, and he almost wanted to laugh at how utterly up herself she evidently was.


“Clearly not one for small talk.” he said off-handedly.


“Look,” she snapped, crossing her arms over her small chest. “I get that you’re new here and you might not know the system, so I think I’ll take a few moments to enlighten you.”


“That so?”


She had to use her best angry voice; her hardest, coldest eyes; just so she could pretend that she truly was as strong and unfeeling as she was portraying herself to be.


“People like you-” she pointed at him angrily, “Don’t waste your time making small talk with people like me.” Spike frowned slightly when, for just a second, the wall dropped, and she looked down, murmuring, “I’m not worth it.”


“What was that?”


She glared back at him.


“If you want to be in their little crew, their stupid little posse, then the last thing you want is to be seen talking to me.” she quirked an eyebrow. “I tell you this purely for your own benefit, and not at all because I find you physically repulsive.”


Spike blinked in surprise at the insult.


“Aren’t you bullied chicks supposed to be meek and mild?” he asked eventually, to which she replied;


“Maybe I break the mould.” Then she looked away from him. “Whatever. Just don’t waste your time talking to me again, because I don’t care what you have to say. Trust me, your reputation depends on it.”


With that she span around and stalked away from him; leaving him still holding the notebook he’d intended to give back to her.


“Well, bloody screw you.” he muttered, stuffing her stupid book back into his school bag.


_________________________________________________
One year ago

Buffy stared at Drusilla; her eyes swamping with tears.


She really hadn’t just said that, had she?


Her eyes drifted to Angel, and her heart clenched painfully in her chest as he smirked at her slightly, before retreating back to stand beside the brunette.


“Angel?” she asked. How had he even found out? “You told them?”


And then she saw her other friends join him.


The best friends who had been all she had known since the very first day of Kindergarten. Now they were just looking at her with expressionless faces; portraying no emotion, no remorse.


Buffy was finding it hard to breathe.


“You brought this on yourself Buffy.” Drusilla said, and Buffy was suddenly conscious of the crowd that was gathering around them. “What did you think would happen?”


Buffy couldn’t respond; couldn’t speak. Didn’t they know she couldn’t breathe right now? How on earth was she supposed to respond?


“You are not one of us.” said Darla in a cold voice.


“You’re out.” agreed Cordelia.


“I’m just glad that Angel refused to sleep with you.” said Drusilla, making Buffy’s eyes go wide.


That was what he’d told them? But that wasn’t true; it was her who had refused. But how could she ever explain that to her once-friends, without revealing...


“You’re a slut.” spat Angel, “A dirty little slut.”


They all turned and walked away, leaving Buffy standing alone like a broken doll on the verge of collapse.


It took her a few moments to realise that Drusilla was still standing before her, and the quiet words that the dark haired girl whispered to her next were enough to transform Buffy’s tears of loss into a snarl of rage.


“How dare you?” she screamed; launching herself at the brunette and pushing her to the ground.


“Oh, I dare!” Drusilla was laughing, well aware of the crowd that had regrouped around them, loudly chanting the word ‘fight!’ over and over. “Buffy, I have everything now. You have nothing. Nothing.”


Buffy’s anger was mingled with pain, and she wept as she punched the other girl. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” she sobbed.


Drusilla pushed her over, hitting her in return, and wrenching some of her golden hair out for good measure.


“You think anyone cares about you now?” Drusilla asked, “Everyone knows what you’re like.”


“Well then, it won’t take them long to realise what you’re like, will it?”


“Don’t try and be smart with me.” Drusilla snarled. And then a coy smirk spread across her face. “Except you’re not smart, are you? Angel told us as much.”


With that, Buffy let go of her restraint, and she let her neatly manicured nails meet Drusilla’s pale, unblemished neck.


She dug deep; causing a gash that would later become an ugly scar.


She lost the ability to care about what they thought of her when some of the other kids dragged her away from Dru.


She went home that night, a changed girl. And she swore she would never let anyone hurt her the way they had done that day, ever again.


___________________________________
Now

“She’s not going to agree to go out with me.” Spike informed Drusilla as he sat down beside her for the final lesson of his first day. Algebra; figures. “She’s seen me with you and your people.”


Drusilla pouted at him, and for a moment he thought he saw an enraged annoyance in her eyes. But the look disappeared before he had time to think about it, and was quickly replaced by her usual wide-eyed innocence.


“You’ll have to stop hanging with us.” she said simply. Then she smiled, slightly cruelly. “She’ll think your shunning us for her.”


Spike sighed, “Can’t be arsed. She’s a bloody menace of a girl, and I don’t want to spend the next month and half begging her to date me.”


Drusilla giggled slightly, “Believe me, it won’t take that long.”


At Spike’s raised eyebrow, she said, “Are you forgetting the sluttiness? Trust me, let her think you only have eyes for her and she’ll be throwing herself at your feet in no time at all.”


Spike sighed again, and eventually he nodded.


“Yeah, I guess it’s still on.”


Drusilla smiled, stroking his arm as she said, “You won’t regret it baby.” Five words, which she matched with a coy smile. Then, when Buffy walked in, taking her place at the back of the class, Drusilla’s eyes brightened. “Now’s your chance.” she hissed.


Spike followed her gaze, and he groaned, resigning himself to an hour alone with the unpleasant chit.


“M’doing this for you pet.” he said to Dru as he stood up and walked swiftly to the back of the class.


________________________________________________


Buffy sat down in her usual place without looking around.


She knew that neither Xander, nor Willow were in this lesson with her, and she could only hope the hour passed quickly, without too much hassle.


She sighed when Spike’s shadow fell over her, and she looked up at him with a glare, snapping; “What do you want now?”


Her last lesson hadn’t been the best, especially considering how angry her biology teacher had gotten when Buffy had no assignment to hand in. She’d tried to explain about losing her notebook, but had gotten nowhere, and eventually ended up with even more work to complete for the next lesson.


So yeah, she wasn’t in the best of moods.


“Thought I’d sit with you, pet.” he stated, dropping his bag down beside her and taking his seat. “There something wrong with that?”


“Yes.” she stated. “I thought I already explained that to you. What are you, idiotic?”


“Perhaps.” he muttered. “But m’also not moving. Face it Summers, you’re stuck with me.”


She gave him a mildly disgusted look, before turning away from him and settling her chin into her palm; fully prepared to ignore him for the next hour.


It was forty five minutes later when the teacher was sceptically scanning the class of blank faces; hoping someone would know the answer to the question he’d just asked. Spike was watching Buffy closely, having seen her figure out the answer on a piece of scrap paper, a good four minutes ago. He frowned when she, along with everybody else, remained silent.


Her silence seemed indifferent and superior, and after a while, it began to annoy him.


“Buffy knows the answer.” he said, smiling at her smugly when she turned with surprise. “Go on then love.”


She flinched when the whole class turned to look at her, and her eyes dropped to the desk top.


“I... I don’t know it.” she said, causing a few people to chuckle.


The teacher rolled his eyes, then pointed to a girl who had raised her hand. The girl proceeded to give the exact same answer that Buffy had written down.


“What the bloody Hell was that?” Spike demanded as Buffy scrunched up her piece of paper and dropped it into her open bag, “Why didn’t you answer? You knew it.”


She looked at him for a moment; trying to read his eyes; trying to read him. But then she simply shook her head, looking away.


“You don’t know anything Spike.” she said, dumping the rest of her things back into her school bag, just as the bell sounded. “I asked you not to get involved with my life, so please don’t.”

_______________________________________
A/N: A huge thank you to everyone who reviewed the previous two chapters. I hope you enjoyed the latest one as much! And thank you for reading :]
dee [aka] wall_flower
xxx
_______________________________________

The laws of the school yard


Spike jogged slightly to catch up with Buffy, surprised that, for the briefest moment, he actually felt sorry for showing her up in front of the class.


“Summers,” he said, catching her arm, “Pet, I’m sor-”


She span around, and he blanched at the sight of tears on her face.


“Get offa me.” she yelled; landing a stinging slap across his cheek.


Spike let go of her immediately, taking a step back as he reminded himself that he wasn’t really supposed to like her. Just convince her that he did.


He had to force the apology out now.


“Love, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”


His words made her stop, and she stared at him for a long time; trying to read something, anything in his eyes.


“Do you mean it?” she asked, and suddenly she was just as unreadable as he was.


“What?”


“I asked if you meant it.” she replied. Then she couldn’t meet his eyes at all, and she looked down at her feet. “Maybe you’re just trying to trick me into thinking you care, so you can humiliate me in front of your new friends.”


Spike had to admit, he was fairly surprised by the intelligent intuition she’d just shown. But letting her know that she was right wouldn’t help him at all, so he had to persist with his pretending.


“Buffy, love, I do mean it. The last thing I wanted to do was humiliate you.”


She continued to stare at him for a moment. But then, the strangest thing happened.


A small half smile lit her face, and she said,


“Thank you.”


And then she was gone.

______________________________________________


Buffy spent the next few days avoiding Spike, and this didn’t go unnoticed by her two closest friends.


“Any particular reason you turn on your heal every time you see the bleached wonder heading our way?” asked Xander bluntly, and Buffy looked at him with surprise.


“What?” she asked. “I do not!”


“Oh, Buff- you so do.” said Willow helpfully, “Did something happen?”


“No- nothing happened!” she said. But their sceptical looks broke her. “Okay- he was nice to me.”


“Nice to you?” Xander repeated, “Well, call the newspapers Betty, because there’s a storm brewing and I can tell this story is going to knock a few people from their blocks.”


Buffy punched him.


“People who are friends with them, rarely ever waste their time being nice to me.” she said in a knowing voice. “So, yeah; big news.”


“Buff, don’t put yourself down.” Willow said, touching her friend’s shoulder.


“I’m not.” Buffy said, looking back into her eyes. “I’m being realistic.” she shrugged slightly, “It just kinda freaked me out.”


“Maybe he’s not a jerk.” suggested Willow brightly, “It does happen. I mean, just look at Xan.”


“Hey!” cried Xander. Then he scratched his head for a moment, “Or... Thank you?”


Willow giggled.


“Yeah, but Xand took time to become the nice non-jerky guy that he is today.” Buffy argued, offering her now-friend a sheepish grin. “I seem to remember he wasn’t so keen on me this time last year.”


“He didn’t know you then.”


“Point and case.” Buffy said, “He doesn’t know me. So why is he being nice?”


Willow and Xander shared a look.


“Exactly.” Buffy concluded, though she had no idea what they were thinking. “Hence the avoidance.”


_________________________________________________


God, it had been a long day.


Avoiding Spike had completely consumed all of her energy, and having to work the late shift at the Double Meat Palace was really not helping.


She was truly exhausted.


“Hi, welcome to the Double Meat Palace, can I take your order ple...”


Her voice trailed off when she looked up and realised that it was him standing in front of her.


A whole three days of avoiding the jerk and now, here he was, right before her. And he hadn’t even looked up.


“Uh, can I get a quarter pounder chicken burger and large fries, with a medium coke. Cheers.”


His eyes were still focused on the menu in his hands as he checked over the prices, but he glanced up when she didn’t reply.


He blinked three times, before eventually saying, “What are you doing here?”


Buffy wasn’t sure what to say. “What are you doing here?” she countered weakly.


They stared at each other a little longer, and Buffy was suddenly very conscious of the cow on the top of her orange cap.


“You... Work here?”


“Why wouldn’t I?”


They stared at each other a little longer, and Spike opened his mouth to speak, before being cut off by a yell from behind the counter.


“Summers get your frickin’ ass back in gear- I am so sick and tired of watching you slack today.”


Buffy flinched, instantly turning away and passing Spike’s order on, before hurrying to fill his drink.


When she turned back to him, her eyes were blank.


“You’re meal will be with you in a moment.” she said. She didn’t say his name. She couldn’t.


“Buffy, I...” he frowned.


He didn’t know why it effected him so much to see her, serving burgers to greasy, middle aged men at eleven o’clock at night.


He didn’t even like her, after all.


“Spike...” she sighed; exasperated, “Please, I asked you not to get invol-”


“I know pet.” he interrupted; suddenly keen to reassure her. “Trust me, not getting involved here.”


She smiled, but her eyes were still empty.


Moments later she was handing him his boxed burger and fries.


“Enjoy your meal Spike.” she murmured.

_______________________________________________


“Hey baby.” Dru said coyly when Spike sat down beside her for his second lesson of English Literature. “How’s your little task going?”


Spike looked over to where Buffy was sitting.


Her hair was glowing slightly from the sunlight shinning through the window. It made him wonder why he hadn’t noticed her in his first English lesson.


Dru’s cold hand on his arm was enough to remind him; when he’d walked into the room on his first day, he’d only had eyes for her.


“Yeah, it’s going okay.” he said. “Definitely making developments.” Then he frowned slightly. “Why didn’t you tell me she works at the Double Meat Palace?”


He looked at Dru when she didn’t answer, and the widening of her eyes made him feel uneasy.


Then the brunette snorted.


“She works in a fast food joint?”


“Oh, no, I mean, I was just...”


“Oh my God,” Drusilla giggled, “This is so huge, just wait till everybody hears about this!”


“Dru, maybe you shouldn’t-”


“Oh I so should!”


Spike felt a wall of guilt hit him as he watched Drusilla scrawl a brief note onto a slip of paper which she promptly passed around the class.


No one knew. Buffy obviously hadn’t wanted anyone to know.


At the end of the hour he waited until the class had emptied, then subtly scooped the scrap of paper up from where it had been dropped by a group of giggling teenagers.


He read it, frowning for perhaps the tenth time that week.


‘Slutty Bitch Whore is working at the DM Palace. So that’s what that pungent odour is. And there I was thinking she had invested in some new Slutty Bitch Whore perfume.’

___________________________________________________


Spike was getting into his car at the end of the next day, when he heard Buffy calling his name.


He grinned to himself; she was seeking him out now? Wouldn’t be long before she was putty in his hands.


He turned around to smile at her, but a fist hit him full in the face; throwing him backwards and making him tumble down onto his backside.


He looked up to glare at the man that had hit him, and found himself staring straight at Buffy.


“Bu-”


“You told them!” she shouted, and there was a wounded kind of rage in her eyes. He already knew exactly what she was talking about. “Why? Why would you do that Spike?”


He tried to feel indifferent as he got back to his feet, but there was a strange guilty sting in his gut.


It made him frown.


“I didn’t realise they didn’t know.” he said truthfully. But he felt she deserved more than that. “I’m sorry Pet.”


“It’s not enough.” she said, shaking her head.


The tears sitting on her cheeks didn’t go unnoticed.


He frowned again. Wasn’t she overreacting just a little bit?


“They were there.” she said, her eyes cast downward, causing the tears to slip down her raw cheeks at a much faster rate. “Dru and her little gang. All of them; last night.”


Spike flinched at this information. Okay, he hadn’t been expecting that.


“Pet...”


She slapped his sympathetic hand away from her shoulder.


“Don’t touch me.” she said. Growled. “Don’t you dare.”


“Buffy,” he tried to reason, “Pet,” he looked around at the faces watching them, “Come on love, you can’t let them see how they’re effecting you. You’re better than all this rot.”


“This rot.” she spat, “Is my life Spike. My life.”


“Come on pet-”


“No!” she slapped his hand away as it reached for her again, “You’re here- and... And you’re screwing things up.” she began to sob, “God, why are you doing this to me? I was fine and I was- I was getting over the bitchy comments and the stares. Why did you have to tell them so they-”


“It doesn’t matter what they say Buffy.” he said, and it sounded so convincingly caring that even he couldn’t tell that he was being insincere. “They can’t hurt you if you don’t let them. You control your life, not them-”


“I got fired.” she said in a cold voice, glaring up at him again with those angry emerald eyes that he had come to know so well. “So I guess they have more control than you think.”


“Well now you have more free time on your hands.” he said, trying to help her see the bright side. “Come on love, it’s not all bad.”


She just stared at him.


“I needed the job.” she said eventually. “That’s why I had it. What am I supposed to do now?”


“I...” he wanted to apologise some more, but an idea stuck him. “My mother.” he said. “She’s just opened an art gallery in town.”


“I don’t need your charity.” she snapped, turning to walk away.


“No- she’s desperately seeking staff.” he said, very convincingly, since it was true. “You’d be doing her a favour if you could help out- really.”


Buffy turned back to face him, and she gazed at him for a very long time.


“And there you go again.” she said.


“What?”


He watched as the tension began to visibly melt from her body.


“Being nice to me.” her head tilted, and her angry tears were already drying on her cheeks. “I just can’t figure why.”


“Why shouldn’t I?”


“Seriously? Haven’t we been over this?”


Spike smirked at her half-heartedly.


“Couple’a times.” he agreed. “Doesn’t mean I have to follow your little ‘no cool people talk to Buffy’ rule though, does it.”


His breath caught a little in his throat when she grinned back.


It was the first smile he’d ever seen upon her lips and it managed to immobilize him.


“You think you’re cool?” she teased good-naturedly. “Please. I’ve been there, and last time I checked, leather and Billy Idol were not the order of the day.”


“And I suppose all this-” he waved a hand over her outfit, “-Grunge... Was exactly what the cool kids were looking for?”


“Ha.” she said, a touch of sarcasm in her tone. “And, just so you know, the whole ‘grunge’ thing is kinda new to me. I used to be very... With the pink.”


He smirked, just thinking about it.


“Nah, I don’t see it Summers.”


They shared eye contact for a second longer, then Spike said.


“So I’ll talk to my mum for you,” he said eventually, and their twin smiles seemed like the most natural thing in the world. “Want me to call you?”


Her smile dropped for a moment, but she quickly forced it back onto her face.


“No, it...it’s cool.” she said, a little too brightly. “You can just tell me tomorrow. I sorta liked the idea of a night off, if that’s all...allright.”


Spike furrowed his eyebrows.


“Course it is love.” he said. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow then?”


She smiled at the idea of being friends with this guy. Arranging to talk again.


“Yeah.” she said. And she graced him with that pretty smile once more. “Thank you.” then she looked down, a little timidly. “I’m really sorry about-”


“Hey, you did nothing wrong.” he was quick to assure her. “I’m sorry love.”


She looked back up into his eyes; smiled, then nodded.


“I’ll see you tomorrow then Spike.”

_____________________________________________________


As soon as she was out of sight, Spike felt someone else’s hand on his arm.


“Going well, I see.” Drusilla drawled. “Put a smile back on her dirty little face.”


Spike wanted to shake her hand from his arm, but he remembered quickly that she was supposed to be the one he sided with.


She was the one in the right, after all.


It just seemed like the more time he spent with Buffy, the more the boundaries blurred.


God, he was confused.


“Isn’t it going well?”


“It’s going great.” he said eventually. He frowned as he remembered. “You got her fired last night?”


He turned to look at her, and those dark, fluttering eyelashes didn’t seem to be having their usual effect on him.


“It was immense.” she purred, “You should have seen her face.”


She began to giggle.


Spike just stared at her.

________________________________________
A/N: Review, oui? Thank you ever so for reading- special big thanks to you guys who have reviewed every chapter; it means so much to me :] The next update will be up very soon, so keep reading.
Love dee x
________________________________________

The laws of the school yard


His mother had said yes to giving Buffy a job, of course. He’d known she would do. And for some bizarre reason, he was really looking forward to telling her.


Geez, he felt like some bloody poofter in shining armour! She’d been in trouble, and he’d swept in and helped her, and now he felt good. He felt happy.


“Hey Spike,” Buffy’s voice drifted out from behind him. “Did you speak to your mom?”


He turned around, and the sight of her literally took his breath away.


God, it was obvious she had tried to dress better today, and as she stood, gazing up at him, Spike had a suddenly terrifying revelation that perhaps she’d done this for him. To make an impression on him.


She wore a light yellow cotton sundress over a pair of faded jeans; her hair gleaming like silk and flowing over her shoulders. Even her face seemed to be glowing more than usual.


“You look really good today.” he found himself babbling. And she blushed prettily before saying,


“Thanks, but that doesn’t answer my question.”


“Oh... Right.” he fought the urge to redden like a spotty pre-teen, talking to a girl for the very first time. “She said she’d be delighted to have you, and that you should stop by after school today.”


Buffy beamed.


“Fantastic.” she said. “Thank you so much Spike; you’re a life-saver.”


“No problem.”


There were a few moments of silence, then Buffy felt suddenly uncomfortable as he continued to stare at her.


“I’ll run you over there in my Desoto later if you want.” Spike said, making her smile again. “Show you the way; introduce you to my mum and stuff.”


“Okay.” she said, “So I’ll meet you in the parking lot after school?”


Spike nodded and they set the time.


“So what happened to all the avoidance?” asked Xander as he and Willow moved in beside her, having watched Spike leave a couple of minutes ago. “I thought he was being all creepy with the uber-nice.”


“He was.” Buffy said. “But then it stopped being creepy and started being, well, just nice.”


“Really?” asked Willow, “Cos seriously, I so told you so.”


Buffy grinned, slapping her friend on the arm, while Xander just frowned at the idea of Buffy having another guy in her life.


“He got me a new job.” she said by way of explanation. “Working for his mom. He’s going to take me over to meet her after school today.”


“Neat!” said Willow. But Xander was still frowning.


“I smell trouble.” he said. “I mean, isn’t this is all just a little... Suspicious? Wasn’t he hanging with Drusilla just a couple of days ago?”


“I thought you said that there was nothing strange about him being nice to me.” Buffy said, quirking an eyebrow. “Something sarcastic about calling the newspapers with this huge news.”


“Yeah...” Xander shook his head worriedly. “Maybe I was wrong though. I mean, I can be wrong. I’ve been wrong on numerous occasions.”


“And you’re wrong now.” Buffy insisted. “Spike’s being genuine. I can tell. I can feel it.”


Xander looked at her sceptically.


“Just be careful with him.” he warned softly, and Buffy couldn’t stayed annoyed with him as long as he was using that sweetly concerned voice. “I just don’t wanna see you get hurt again Buff.”


“I won’t.” she assured him. “Thicker skin these days. You could stick pins in me and I wouldn’t feel it.”


The three friends shared a smile.

_____________________________________________________


“Hey,” Buffy said when she saw Spike approaching.


She was sitting on the ground beside his car; her school bag laying by her side and one of her books open on her lap.


“You sure took your time.”


He smirked, “Had to have a check-up with Snyder,” he said, “Old rat face wanted to know how I’m getting on.”


“Oh?” she asked as she got up gracefully, reaching for her bag. “And what did you tell him?”


“That it’s going well.” he said. “Plenty of neat new friends.” he smiled at her, then noticed the book she was tucking back into her bag. “What’re you readin’ pet?”


She hesitated slightly before replying. “Poetry.” she turned the book to face him. “Hardy.”


Spike was stunned into silence for a moment, and as he stared at her, he flashed back to his very first English lesson all those days ago, when he’d met Drusilla.


“Ah- William Abbot I presume.” said the teacher, setting down her glasses on the desk. “You have a seat- right there.” she pointed to a chair positioned next to a very pretty looking girl with long, dark hair.


She wasn’t looking back at him; rather, she was looking down at the book in her hands, her finger tracing the words as her eyes danced with wonder at whatever it was she was reading. It made Spike smile, and he thought that perhaps showing love for English Literature wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.


He made his way toward his new desk and sat down lightly beside the girl who he now saw was engrossed in a fashion magazine, hidden behind a thick volume. It made him smile slightly at her rebellion, despite the slight disappointment he felt at discovering she wasn’t really engaged in something literary.


“Hi.” he said, and she looked up as if she had failed to notice his presence until that precise moment. “M’names Spike.”


“It’s pretty good.” Buffy said, dragging him back into the present. She flicked through the pages slightly, smiling as she inhaled. “Old books.” she muttered.


Spike smiled at her, surprised yet again by her intelligence, and completely awed by this new twist. This new link that they had in common.


“I love Hardy’s work.” he finally admitted, the words coming out fast like a confession.


She looked up at him in surprise, and saw the way he was looking at her. It made her blush slightly.


“Neat.” she said. Then she hesitantly handed the book to him, “You want to flip through?”


He took it from her, and she noticed the awed expression on his face, just as he didn’t miss the protective expression on hers. This was clearly a prized possession of hers, just as it was an incredible thing of beauty to him.


“Transformations...” he murmured, scanning his eyes over the words, “The Convergence of the Twain, The Oxen, Drummer Hodge, Wessex Heights, Neutral Tones, Nature’s Questioning...” his voice trembled a little, but Buffy said nothing to show him up. “Pet, this is a fantastic collection.”


“You don’t have to tell me.” she said, smiling. “It’s my favourite.”


He handed it back to her reluctantly, and she slipped it back into her bag as he unlocked the car.


Spike had to take a few deep breaths as he reminded himself, for perhaps the millionth time, that he was just pretending.


That this friendship wasn’t real; it was just a means to an ends.


But, Goddamit, the idea of humiliating Buffy now, the way they wanted him to, was damned near unbearable to think even about.


“Thomas Hardy saved my life.” she was saying now, climbing into the passenger seat of his Desoto. “I love him.”


Spike decided to forget about the stupid little plan for now, and just enjoy her sweet company.


He smirked at her comment.


“You love him?” he asked, slipping in beside her and starting the engine swiftly. “You know he’s dead, right?”


Buffy stuck her tongue out at him.


“I know.” she said. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t love him.”


Spike chuckled, and Buffy giggled as she began a jovial account of how she’d ‘Totally Spaz’ if she ever got to meet him; forcing Spike to point out, once again, that Thomas Hardy had died in 1928.


“Shut up.” she groused, crossing her arms in front of her pretty yellow dress. “You’re ruining the fantasy.”


“And you know that he was 88 when he died?” Spike persisted, causing Buffy to stick her fingers in her ears.


“Really ruining the fantasy now.” she yelled, punching him on the arm, and making him laugh even more.


“You’re insane.” he told her, “I swear.”

_________________________________________________


Spike stopped the car and Buffy felt suddenly nervous. What if his mother didn’t like her? What if she took one look at her and said, ‘Sorry, the job has been taken by someone much more smartly dressed.’


She told Spike this and he laughed, shaking his head.


“She said the job was yours love, she won’t go back on her word.” He steered her toward the double doors of the gallery, “Stop fretting, she’s a nice lady, my old ma.”


“Less of the old please William.” said a kindly looking woman as she strolled past him with an armful of boxes, “I’m at my prime, young man. Will you get the door for me?”


Spike strode forward, pushing the door open and holding it as his mother walked past him, thanking him as she plopped the boxes down on one of the desks in the middle of the room.


Then she wiped her hands rapidly over the apron she wore, before holding her hand out for Buffy, saying,


“Sorry sweetheart, where are my manners?” Buffy took her hand. “I’m Joyce Abbot. It’s Buffy, right?”


“Yeah.” she agreed, shaking the older woman’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you Mrs Abbot.”


“Oh God,” the woman said, paling slightly. “Please don’t call me that; it reminds me of that witch I like to call my ex-mother in law. It’s Joyce, okay?”


Buffy smiled, liking the woman already.


“Joyce.” she echoed.


Standing a few feet away, Spike smiled broadly. He had never brought a girl back to meet his mother before, even though she was always bugging him to. But she really seemed to like Buffy, which was great because-


He jolted.


She wasn’t his girlfriend! She was the poor thing he was using, in order to get a girlfriend! God, was he ever an idiot?


“So, Spike tells me you’re looking for work,” she began, sitting down behind one of the desks, and indicating Buffy to follow, “And since I’m in desperate need of another pair of hands, I think we should discuss times and wages.”


Buffy smiled gratefully.


This woman was fantastic.

_____________________________________________


Spike offered to give Buffy a lift home after everything had been sorted with his mother, but she had smiled gratefully before declining.


“It’s okay.” she told him, “I only live five minutes away from here.”


“I can still drop you off on my way home.” he said, “It’s no trouble pet.”


“No, really.” Buffy replied, and all of a sudden, she looked a little worried. “I like walking. Besides, I need the fresh air.”


“Want me to walk with you then love?” he asked, but she shook her head adamantly.


“No, it’s fine. I wouldn’t want to put you out.”


“Oh, it wouldn’t be any trou-”


“I said it’s fine.” she emphasised. And finally, he cottoned on.


She didn’t want him near her home.


“Okay, sure.” he said. “So I guess I’ll see you at school tomorrow pet?”


“Yeah.” she said, and that gorgeous smile was back again. “Make sure you tell you mom thanks. Tell her I’ll be here four o’clock on the dot, tomorrow afternoon.” she added.


“I can give you a lift here tomorrow if you want.” Spike offered, making her smile even more.


“That’d be great actually.” she said. “Thanks.”


Then, before he’d even had a chance to notice her moving, her small body was wrapped around his in a friendly hug. She held him tightly for a second, stirring a hot reaction in his body, before releasing him and taking a few steps back.


“I’ll see you tomorrow Spike.”

_____________________________________________


When Spike got home that evening, his head was near exploding.


Buffy was running around in his mind like a little athlete, and try as he might, he just couldn’t stop thinking about her.


Her blond hair; her yellow dress; her poetry book; her beautiful smile; her sad eyes; her angry eyes; her defiant glare; her cute giggle; her tears of sorrow.


God, she was screwing him up in the most unkindly fashion!


When he’d met Drusilla he’d had the boundaries set out for him clear as day. He’d understood them and he’d agreed with them.


Drusilla was beautiful, mysterious, victimised and in need of his protection.


Buffy was dirty, irrationally angry, bitchy and a slut who would sleep with any guy.


Now more components had been added to the mix. Drusilla was still all of those things, but she was also malicious and cruel. And Buffy, she was still all of those things, but suddenly she too was victimised and in need of his protection, not to mention the love for poetry and the beautiful smile.


It confused him.


Which of them was putting on an act?


Drusilla and her friends would surly tell him that Buffy was acting for him; trying to trick him with her sweet and innocent persona, but he didn’t know if he believed that anymore.


Suddenly he remembered the notebook that had slipped from her bag, the first time they’d met.


The notebook that he’d dumped in the back of his closet after she had yelled at him, and he had decided not to give it back to her.


Surly that notebook would hold some answers for him? Maybe it would hold the key to Buffy’s true personality.


He fished around in the back of his closet for it, finally finding it and bringing it back out into the light of his bedroom. But before he had even opened it, a ripped sheet of paper fluttered out and landed on the floor in front of him.


Spike glanced down at it with disinterest, bending to retrieve it, barely even looking at it. But as he turned it over to put it back into the notebook, he realised it was a yearbook page.


In the centre of the page was a photograph that Buffy had clearly defaced.


The photograph showed six people dressed in formal wear; their faces bright and gleaming with excited and stupid smiles. He recognised them all.


At the end of the line stood Riley Finn with his tuxedo-clad arm thrown casually over Darla’s bare shoulders. Darla wore a severely low cut dress in deep maroon, with her hair tumbling in yellow-blonde curls down her back. Beside them, Cordelia, dressed in a shimmering green gown of sequins and emerald stones, was snuggling into the arms of Charles Gunn, who was grinning at the camera; the collar of his white shirt turned up as if he were trying to make a fashion statement.


At the end of the line stood Angel, and in his arms he held somebody else. The girl wore a long, red dress that clung to her body in all the right places; making her look more sophisticated than both Darla and Cordelia, but the top half of her body and her face were both covered by the scrawl of a black biro.


Spike stared at the scribbles, wondering who was beneath him, but then his eyes were drawn to the words that Buffy had scrawled all around the photograph, and he realised the picture could only be of Drusilla.


‘I hate her so much.’ ‘I wish she was dead.’ ‘I wish she was never born.’ ‘I wish she’d never come into existence.’ ‘I hate her.’ ‘I hate her so much.’ ‘The most vile person on earth.’ ‘I really do hate her.’ ‘I don’t ever want to be like her.’ ‘She deserves to be dead.’ ‘One day she’ll be dead.’


Spike crumpled the picture in his fingers.


And he knew.


Buffy wasn’t nice, or sweet, or any of those things he was starting to think that she was.


She was malicious; far more malicious than Dru could ever be. She had actually wished death upon someone; someone that had hurt her, yes, but no one deserved to be killed for what was ultimately, just a bit of high school teasing.


Spike closed his eyes, coming to a decision.


He wasn’t going to back out of the plan. He was going to see it through to the end, and enjoy the expression on her hateful little face when she finally found out that he had been playing her all along.


She was going to get what she deserved.

____________________________________
A/N: Okay, just so you don’t all go completely crazy on me, I think it’d be alright to let you know that of course the girl in the picture isn’t who Spike thinks it is. Bear with me guys, because he will be finding this out soon enough.
If you enjoyed the update then please review- because every review makes my fingers type that little bit faster.
Thank you for being so awesome guys!
Love dee__x
____________________________________

The laws of the school yard


Spike gritted his teeth when he saw Buffy strolling towards him on Monday morning, and he barely noticed the white camisole and green skirt she had put on, hoping to catch his eye.


He wanted to ignore her; to yell at her, but their plan; his plan would be much more satisfactory in the long run.


“Hey.” she said brightly when she reached him. “Get home alright on Friday?”


“Sure.” he said, unable to speak to her with his usual false-bravado. He was just too pissed at her today. “You?”


She flinched at his cold and indifferent tone, but quickly tried to pretend she hadn’t recognised it.


“Yeah- it was...” she glanced at him. He wasn’t even looking at her; just looking as if he’d rather be anywhere else in the world right now. “Spike, are you okay?”


“I’m fine.” he said, still no emotion to his tone. “Just dandy.” he added, and she laughed nervously.


But his cold nature was making her feel sick; it reminded her of so many other occasions when she’d been led on, then dropped without warning. Yeah, sick was how she felt; sick of the heartache.


But still, she didn’t say anything; scared, for some reason, to lose the small slip of a friendship they had been forming over the past couple of days.


“I’ll... I’ll catch you later Spike.” she mumbled when he persisted in his silence. “Are you still good for giving me a lift over to the gallery after school today?”


“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked, and she didn’t know whether the question was rhetorical or not.


“I...”


“Just meet me by my car after the bell.” he said, shaking his head and looking away from her as if she were the most idiotic creature on this earth.


“O...Okay.” she agreed, fumbling with something in her bag. She seemed to be considering something for a moment, before finally she said, “Spike, I... I got you this. As... Just as a thank you for, well you know, but I thought...”


He turned to her and glanced down at the book she was holding out to him.


‘Thomas Hardy. Poems 1912-1913.’


“It’s his... Uhh, his Emma collection.” she mumbled, suddenly wishing she had just left the book sitting in her bag, so she wouldn’t have to deal with the way he was staring at her now.


It was like he was trying to look right inside of her; like he was trying to read some hidden message written behind her eyes.


But she was very aware of the fact that she was still holding the book.


“Have I done something to piss you off?” she asked eventually; her eyebrows scrunching as she thought through everything they had said to each other the last time they had been together. She was sure they had parted on good terms.


Finally, Spike allowed a strange, unfamiliar smile onto his face, saying, “No, not at all kitten.”


He took the book, thanking her, then placing it into his bag with disinterest. Buffy was unbelievably confused by his reaction; she’d been so certain that he’d be over the moon with the book.


Maybe she didn’t know him so well after all.


“I’ll catch you later.” Spike said, walking away so he didn’t have to look at her face any longer.

______________________________________________


“She gave you a present, you naughty boy, what have you done?” cooed Drusilla as she swept in beside him. “You were only supposed to take her on one date, not make her fall in love with you.” she ran her finger tips up Spike’s arm, making him shiver deliciously, “Though I must admit, this will play much more favourably when it comes to humiliating her. My clever, naughty boy.”


Spike smirked at her, and she liked it.


“When do you plan on asking her out?” Drusilla persisted, “It must be soon; I’m growing rather impatient.”


“Tonight.” he said, with a confirming nod. “I’m giving her a lift after school, so I’ll ask her then, for Friday night.”


“Wonderful.” said Drusilla. “Take her out to the Bronze.” she instructed, rather than suggested. “So everyone can see when you tell her it was all a joke.” she clapped her hands together, “This is going to be so perfectly entertaining.”


Spike wanted to smirk again, but already felt the movement dying on his lips.


Was it only yesterday that Buffy had started looking more like a friend than an enemy?


“I’ll take her to the Bronze.” he confirmed. “So make sure you and the others are there, because I seriously only want to do this once.”


Drusilla grinned, “Finding her company more than a little unbearable?” she asked, giggling, “Oh, I can only imagine. That girl was such a horror to socialise with, back when she was still social. You will let me know as soon as she says yes?”


“Of course I will.”


She pressed her scarlet lips to his cheek.


“You had better.”

______________________________________________


“Hey!”


She was sitting next to his car, just as she had been last Friday, although this time she held a novel in her hands, rather than the poetry book.


“Another meeting with Snyder?”


Spike shrugged, unlocking the car and sliding in.


“Had some stuff to do.” he told her bluntly.


Buffy flinched. Whatever mood he had been in earlier, was certainly still in motion now.


“That’s okay.” she said, her voice faltering slightly as a desire to cry seeped in. God, what had happened to her these past few days? No one in the world had been able to hurt her, not since... But now, it was like she was that weak little girl all over again. “Spike, have I done something that’s upset you?”


He ignored her question as he turned to face her, and the weird smile was foreign and unnatural on his face again.


“Buffy-” he said, “I really like you.”


She froze. Was he really saying... No way!


She felt her heart leap into her chest as he continued to gaze at her with those eyes that were so very unreadable.


God, it had been so long since anyone had even looked in her direction.


But he had. He’d helped her, and been kind to her, and connected with her. Maybe he was the one who could help her to be happy, truly happy, once more.


“You... Like me?”


“A lot.” he confirmed. “I don’t know what happened. Everyone told me that you were... But you’re not. Your sweet and wonderful,” he wanted to vomit as he spoke the words, “And kind and beautiful.”


Buffy gasped, and he wanted nothing more than to shatter her happy bubble right now.


God knows she deserved it.


But he didn’t. He kept going.


“I wanted to know if you would let me take you out on Friday night. To the Bronze?”


Buffy stared at him in utter awe. Here he was; a seriously cute guy, with a seriously cute personality and... He was really asking her out?


“Are...” her head dipped in a moment of insecurity, “Are you sure?”


He didn’t allow himself to hesitate.


“Of course I’m sure.”


She looked up, and he was surprised to see the tears shinning in her pretty eyes.


“Yes.” she said. “I’d love to. I’d-” she choked up a little. “I’d really really love to Spike.”


Spike was almost alarmed by the intensity of her emotion. He’d known she’d be surprised, but he’d had no idea she would react so beautifully.


No, not beautifully.


Of course not. He had meant pitifully. Of course he had.


“Good.” he said; allowing himself to smile. “I’ll pick you up at eight o’clock sharp on Friday evening.” Then he started the car and drove her to work.

_______________________________________________


“He asked me out!” Buffy squealed to Joyce, just as soon as Spike had left for home in his car once more. “I mean, really- I knew we were getting on well, but it’s been so long since a guy even showed the least bit of interest in me. This is so...”


“Fantastic!” Joyce supplied, addressing her own excitement. “Oh Buffy dear, I was so hoping he would realise feelings for you. And of course he would do- I mean, you’re a gorgeous girl.”


Buffy blushed, “Thank you.” she said in a timid voice, but Joyce didn’t miss the self-doubt in her expression.


“Buffy darling, you know that you’re a wonderful girl, don’t you?” she pushed, and when Buffy looked even more unsure, the woman added, “I’m sure all the guys who have let you slip by are kicking themselves today.”


“One guy.” she said. “And he’d probably rather kick me than himself.”


Joyce looked concerned at this comment, but she let it slip by without questioning the young girl.


Buffy obviously didn’t want to talk about the past. Besides, she was already gearing up for round two of the squeal-fest.


“I just can’t believe he really asked me out!” she cried, and Joyce was soon swept up in her gusto once more.

_______________________________________________


“William, I’m proud of you.” Joyce said as she walked through the front door to be greeted by her son, holding a cup of cocoa out to her.


“Really?” he asked, “Because I thought the cocoa was just standard practice. I mean, I do make you a cup every day.”


“No no.” Joyce said, taking the hot drink from him and taking a sip with an appreciative sigh. “No, I mean Buffy. Asking her out. It’s obvious she’s been through some hard times at school recently, and I’m just proud that you were able to see past what the other’s have said about her, and even been there to help her. Like I said, I’m very proud of you Spike.”


Joyce didn’t like the way her son’s eyes suddenly clouded over, and his posture became increasingly uncomfortable.


“Oh...” he said, “Well, you know me Ma.”


She looked at him very closely, suddenly feeling a little sick.


Surly her son, her William, wouldn’t hurt the sweet young girl. He had asked her out because he truly liked her, hadn’t he?


“Spike...” she asked falteringly, “Is there something wrong?”


He looked to be considering it for a moment, but then he shook his head with conviction.


“No mum, everything’s fine.”


Joyce Abbot frowned. This was not the end to her evening that she had been hoping for.


She had wanted to be able to tell her son how happy she was with his choice of girlfriend, and then thank him personally for being so nice to a girl who was clearly far too used to receiving abuse from her peers.


“William, son...” she said, the concern evident in her voice, “I want you to promise me that you’re not going to hurt her.”


Spike looked at his mother, with her worried azure eyes.


He couldn’t lie to her. Surly not.

_______________________________________________


Friday rolled around much more quickly than Spike had hoped, and when he saw Buffy that morning, he felt something in his chest seize up.


“Hey Spike,” she said as she headed toward him, “I’m really looking forward to tonight.”


Mixed emotions crossed the threshold of his mind, and he offered her a half smile as he said,


“Yeah, me too pet. So, I’ll pick you up at eight?”


She nodded; her smile bright. And from behind her back, Drusilla offered him a smug wink.


Spike felt sick.


“Ah, Mr Abbot.” came the voice of his hateful Principle as he turned to make his way to first period. “I’d like to see you in my office after school this afternoon for our final progress check. Just to ensure your transition from England to America hasn’t left you too bewildered.”


Spike wanted to protest; to say he’d had two such progress checks already. But he recognised it as a way out of driving Buffy to work, and he nodded as he said


“Sure thing Principle Snyder.”


Buffy didn’t mind walking to work; she said it would give her a chance to clear her mind, not to mention plan her outfit for tonight. And Spike told her whatever she wore, she’d look great.


He had to grit his teeth as he said the words.


God, was he ever angry with her.

____________________________________________


“Ah, Mr Abbot.” said the receptionist as Spike walked into the foyer. “Take a seat. The Principle won’t be long, he’s just had to call a hasty meeting with the parents of some juvenile delinquent.”


Spike smiled pleasantly, then sat down with a groan. He was an impatient guy and waiting was really not his thing.


Beside him sat a case of old yearbooks, and he sighed as he grabbed one and began to flick through.


The cover read 1997, and in it he found pictures of a much younger Buffy, not to mention Cordelia, Darla, Angel and Riley. It was fairly obvious she was the bees knees back then, with her -too blonde to be natural- hair and her –too big to be real- padded bra.


Besides that, her face adorned almost every page. That huge and plastic smile that was nothing like the smiles she’d graced him with.


As well as that, every time her name was written, there would be a small number of hearts surrounding it, as if she had requested her name be printed in a way that was better than everybody else’s.


She could only have been about twelve or thirteen, but even the prom photo at the back of the book made him feel slightly nauseated.


Buffy with a bright pink gown adorned with sequins and gem stones, not to mention the obnoxious tiara on the top of her yellow curls.


This was not the girl he had come to know, but, according to everybody he had met, this was the girl whom she really was.


“Buffy Summers, May Queen, 1997.’


Ten minutes, and three yearbooks later, he was staring down at the pictures from just over a year ago.


Buffy was still standing tall with that horribly plastic smile of hers and that luminous, bleached hair [though, he was one to talk!].


If anything, her pictures had become more irritating, since every single one now also included Angel, with a smarmy grin all of his own.


It made Spike shudder as an unknown feeling crawled around like a centipede in the pit of his stomach.


“Liam Angel and Buffy Summers, prom King and Queen, 2000.”


Buffy was wearing a long and beautiful dress of deep red. A dress he recognised.


Of course that’s why Buffy had reacted with such sadistic hatred; because Drusilla had worn the same dress as her.


Spike was practically scowling as he stared down at the image of Buffy Summer’s and her pretentious little smile.


But then he turned the page, and received the shock of his life.


The picture, the one he had found defaced by Buffy... It was also of Buffy.


As he stared down at the image; the picture of Buffy with her luminous blond hair spilling over her shoulders, in a dress cut so low that her clearly displayed cleavage made her look more like a piece of meat than a woman, everything seemed to fall into place.


And, for perhaps the millionth time since he had met her, Spike Abbot felt sick.


Buffy hadn’t wished Drusilla had never been born, or that Drusilla would die; heck, Drusilla wasn’t even a part of it. She had wished it upon herself.


She had wished that she would never be that girl again. The girl in the picture.


“Oh God...” Spike murmured as he looked down at the girl smiling obliviously back at him.


He thought about the thick black lines that Buffy had covered her with. He thought about the heart-broken words Buffy had scrawled around her. He thought about how wrong he’d been; how wrong he was.


But most of all, he thought about Buffy getting ready for their date tonight.


Putting on a dress like the one on the girl in the picture; painting her face to make herself feel pretty again; forcing that empty smile back onto her face.


He was doing this to her, and at the end of the night, he would be breaking her heart all over again.


She was going to retract back into her shell and become that broken girl of a year ago. The girl who had lost everything, for one reason or another, and had become an outcast amongst her own friends.


Spike, feeling like his eyes were open for the first time since they had looked upon the dark beauty of Drusilla, realised that he didn’t even know why her friends had ditched her.


Something had happened a year ago; something dark and terrible, but he had never been told what. Bloody Hell; he had never even asked.


Spike slammed the year book shut and leapt to his feet, ignoring the receptionist’s questions as he hurried from the school and towards his car.


He had a lot to think about.

_____________________________________________


At half past nine, Buffy was still sitting beside her front door, though tears were now slipping down her cheeks.


In her hands she held a small bag with the money she had scraped together for drinks.


She wore a short and beautiful blue satin dress that had cost her a weeks pay, but she had decided was worth it.


Her hair was it’s usual and natural dark honey blonde, though she had let it curl for once, and it sat in soft tendrils around her face.


Her make-up, which she had spent well over half and hour perfecting, was streaked down her face, ending in ugly black pools beneath her tired eyes.


Black tears dripped from her chin.


For the first time in over a year, she had allowed herself to hope. She had displayed her heart to someone. Was it any wonder she didn’t do this more often?


She’d been stood up.

________________________________________________
A/N: Thank you everybody for the awesome response on the last chapter. It was so very appreciated :]
Please review again, because you all made my day last time!!
Thank you again, love Dee xxx
_________________________________________________

The laws of the school yard


Spike stared down at the slip of paper Buffy had given him earlier that day, with her address scrawled across it, and then up again at the huge house looming before him.


He frowned slightly as the eternal Buffy-puzzle confused him once more. He’d been so certain that she wasn’t very well-off, considering how badly she had taken it when she had lost her job, and yet… Her house looked like some kind of mansion before him. She couldn’t possibly need that job as badly as she had told him.


He shrugged to himself, then glanced down at his watch.


Bloody… Damn it! Ten thirty. He was two and a half hours late. He only hoped she was still awake so he could finally explain everything to her.


He wanted to explain everything after all, not just the reason why he was so late. [Which was in fact, the result of an utter wimp-out that he had only recovered from after a stern talking-to from his angry mother.]


”If you don’t tell her William Abbot, then I’ll damn well tell her myself, because I will not have one of those smug idiots you’ve been hanging around with, breaking her heart.”


It had only taken him those two hours to understand that she was right. He had to be the one who told her, because anyone else would be telling her out of spite, and he couldn’t stand the idea of her being hurt anymore than she already had been because of him.


God, why had it taken him so long to realise that she was the one who was better than him, and certainly not vice-versa.


”I’ll tell her mum. Calm down. She’ll be okay, as long as I can explain and apologise.”


“She had better be young man, because I won’t see her quitting her job over you. She needs this money far more than you could ever know.”


Spike had wondered what his mother meant at the time, and he wondered it even more now as he stood outside Buffy’s little mansion.


He knocked on the door, not allowing himself time to hesitate.


The house was dark, and Spike began to fret as the door remained unanswered. Maybe she had decided to go out anyway on her own. Maybe Drusilla or some of the others had tricked her into leaving with-


The door opened and Spike was surprised to see the vaguely familiar red-head on the other side of the door.


“Spike?” she asked. He was even more surprised that she knew who he was. “Are you looking for Buffy?”


“You’re a friend of hers?” he asked, wondering what the red-head was doing at Buffy’s house so late at night, considering Buffy was supposed to be out on a date anyway.


God, he hoped the pretty blond hadn’t called her friend in a fit of tears, looking for comfort after being stood up.


“Is Buffy in there?” he asked, “I need to see her.”


“No.” the girl replied, and she frowned. “She left over an hour ago. She didn’t think you were going to show up Spike.”


Spike bit his lip. He hoped she hadn’t gone to the Bronze alone. “Do you know where she went?” he asked cautiously, “Or what time she’ll be back?”


The girl looked even more curious now. “She was crying Spike. Crying a lot- you’ve hurt her really badly.” She looked at him a little strangely. “Anyway, she went home so I don’t think she will be back.”


Now it was Spike’s turn to frown, and his eyes narrowed with confusion. “What do you mean home?” he asked, “Doesn’t she live here? This is the address she gave me.”


“Oh…” Buffy’s friend looked as if she was finally beginning to understand. “No Spike, this is my house. Buffy’s place is a little bit more…” she didn’t know how to finish the sentence so she said instead, “Anyway, I don’t think she wants to see you right now so if I were you, I’d just leave her well alone until Monday. She’s gonna need to take a time-out before she’s ready to talk to you.”


Spike’s mind was still stuck on her first comment.


“Buffy doesn’t live here?” he said, slightly astounded, “Then why did she give me this add-”


“Maybe because she wasn’t ready for you to see the real her.” The girl replied, “And by all means, I think she did the right thing by playing it safe. You clearly have no respect for her.”


Spike looked down, because it was even worse than the girl in front of him knew.


“I need to talk to her.” He said, and the girl shook her head. “Please?”


“No. You need to give her some time to cool down.”


“Can’t you just tell me where she lives? This is really important!”


“You had your chance.” She told him, crossing her arms. “And you blew it. I’m not going to let you hurt my best friend William Abbot.”


Spike was momentarily alarmed by how very much this girl sounded like his mother, but he refrained from telling her so, instead saying;


“I swear to you…”


“Willow.” She informed him.


“Willow.” He repeated. “I swear I don’t want to hurt her anymore than she’s already been hurt. I just want to set things straight with her, let her know how sorry I am and that things will be different now that-”


“Now that what?” Willow asked, and her eyes looked almost black with anger. “Don’t tell me, you were new at school and you heard the rumours about Buffy. People told you that she’s a slut, a little piece of trash and you, what? Just believed them? Didn’t take the time to get to know Buffy- just thought you’d join in with the rest of them.”


“No- not at all.” He wished it wasn’t a lie.


“So you weren’t just trying to humiliate her?” Willow asked, her eyes dangerously narrow, “Because, d’you know what? That’s what she thinks- what she believes.”


Spike’s eyes dropped to the floor and he felt more worthless than he ever had before.


“I just want to tell her that I’m sorry.” He murmured. “That I was wrong. So wrong.”


“Yeah?” Willow asked, severely pissed at the guy who Buffy had been so excited about. The guy who had led her on and broken her heart. The guy who hadn’t even given her a chance to show him just how wonderful a person she really was. The guy who had judged her, just like everybody else. “Well Spike, you’re not worth it. You don’t deserve her forgiveness. So just stay away from her.”


Spike flinched as Willow stepped back into her house, slamming the door soundly in his face.


“Stay away from her.” The words echoed in his mind like a threat.


But he couldn’t stay away from her. Maybe Willow was right, in fact, she probably was. He really didn’t deserve Buffy’s forgiveness. But she really did deserve an apology. A sincere apology.


Spike pulled out his cell phone, scanning for Drusilla’s number.

________________________________________________


“Hello?”


“Dru? It’s Spike.”


“Oh, my dark prince, I’ve been looking everywhere for you and your date. Where have you gotten to?”


“Not particularly far. Listen, you wouldn’t happen to know where Buffy lives, would you?”


Drusilla let out a peel of laughter which Spike tried his best to ignore.


“Oh, my silly darling.” She cooed. “What an imbecile she must truly be, for not giving you her address. It’s obvious how long it’s been since that girl went on a date; she can’t even remember the correct etiquette.”


“Yeah.” Spike muttered, “Sure. Do you know it?”


Drusilla giggled again.


“Yes.” She told him. “Buffy and I were quite good friends for a few weeks, back in the day. You know how it is.”


“That’s great, but it’s getting late and I-”


“Of course. Do you have a pen?”

_____________________________________________


Spike stood outside her real home, feeling even more confused than before.


If he’d been impressed by Willow’s home, then it was nothing, nothing at all compared to Buffy’s.


The walls stood high and proud and the house held three stories, with an infinity pool slipping out as if to nowhere from behind. Each window was sparkling, even in the darkness of the evening, and Spike had to squint his eyes half shut to imagine ever living with such wealth.


Okay, so Buffy hadn’t wanted him to know that she was rich. That was fair enough, maybe she thought if he knew about her money, he might be dating her just for that reason.


Of course, that still made his mother’s “She needs this money far more than you could ever know.” comment completely redundant, but he figured maybe Buffy had given his mother the same ‘poor’ vibes that she’d given him. He made a mental-note to ask his mother what she had meant, later on.


He glanced at his watch, alarmed to see that it was already 11.15. Buffy might be asleep by now, especially considering what Willow had said about Buffy leaving her house in tears. It would make sense that the pretty girl would just go straight home to bed.


For a second he considered leaving her to get some well-deserved sleep, but quickly told himself that the sooner he set things straight with her, the better.


Besides, there were lights on inside so at least that meant someone must be up.


He went to knock on the door, before noticing the fancy looking doorbell, which he pressed on second thoughts. A sweet melodic tune rang out, and Spike waited patiently as he heard movement on the other side of the door.


He really hoped it was Buffy that answered, since he didn’t quite fancy explaining to her parents that he was the jerk who had sent their precious daughter to bed in tears, and that he wanted to be allowed in so that he could apologise. At least if Buffy answered the door, any confusion on her parents behalf would be saved, since she would probably just slap him; letting them know precisely everything that they needed to.


He wasn’t certain which was the better option, and he began to wonder whether he should have taken Buffy’s advice after all, since she did know the girl far better than he himself did.


Maybe he would have turned away, but the door was answered before he had even finished thinking it through, and he forced a bright smile onto his face when he was greeted by a short blond woman.


“Hi.” The woman said brightly, though he could see her glancing at her watch suspiciously, then regarding him with slight worry. “Can I help you?”


She must have been about forty, though her near-immaculate face did nothing to give her age away. If he hadn’t already realised that she must be Buffy’s mother, he could well have mistaken her for a woman in her late twenties, early thirties.


She wore her hair much in the same way that Buffy did, though hers was a few shades lighter and a little more cared for.


Spike could imagine this woman chastising her daughter for letting her hair get dirty, or for wearing the grungy clothes that she had been wearing when he first met her. She looked like the kind of woman who liked everything around her to be perfect, and Spike suddenly understood how Buffy had been that false, smiling girl in the yearbook photograph.


“Hello.” He responded comfortably, thinking that perhaps making a good impression with her mother was a good step to take. “My name is William Abbot.”


He hoped he wouldn’t have to say anymore than that; that perhaps the older woman would already know his name from her daughter, and would react adequately.


Unfortunately, the woman just stared blankly back at him, and Spike felt a rush of disappointment that Buffy hadn’t mentioned him to her parents.


“Good evening William.” The woman replied, before adding. “I’m Isabella Summers. Can I help you?”


Spike smiled pleasantly.


“I’m looking for Buffy.” He told her, holding the smile.


The woman looked momentarily confused, and she repeated the name “Buffy?” as if it were some kind of foreign word. Then suddenly, her eyes darkened, and she looked very angry indeed. “You mean Elizabeth?” she asked, her voice all of a sudden venomous. “Why on Earth would you come looking for that girl here?”


“Isn’t she your daughter?” Spike asked, genuinely confused by the woman’s reaction.


Isabella Summers stared at him; her eyes poisonous in the low light.


“That girl is no longer a daughter of mine. Hank!” she called, visibly tensing. “Hank!”


An annoyed looking man appeared behind Isabella, placing a hand on her shoulder as he glanced out at Spike.


“I hope you’re not upsetting my wife.” He said in a dangerous voice.


He had Buffy’s nose. Buffy’s anger-filled and defiant eyes.


“He’s asking after Elizabeth.” Buffy’s mother snapped, clutching at her husband’s hand, where it rested on her shoulder. “As if we would know anything about that vapid little-”


“Alright Izzy,” Hank interrupted. “Calm down.” He looked again at Spike. “We don’t know anything about her.” He said in a stern voice. “If the girl has screwed you over then it’s nothing at all to do with us. The girl is nothing at all to do with us.”


Spike was speechless for a second or two.


This was new, this was not at all what he had been expecting.


The mother who just moments ago had looked beautiful and caring, like a grown-up version of her daughter, now looked enraged and hateful.


He wondered what on earth could have happened to make these parents so… Indifferent?


“She doesn’t live here?” he asked.


Drusilla had told him that this is where Buffy lived, which meant that Drusilla didn’t know about this. Drusilla didn’t know that Buffy’s parents hated her so obviously, and so very much.


“No she doesn’t live here.” Isabella all but snarled in reply.


“She hasn’t lived here in over a year.” Hank added, his eyes still dark and deadly.


Spike was beginning to panic, “Then where does she live?” he asked, hoping against hope that they would tell him.


But they didn’t.


“How on earth should we know?” asked Isabella, “Do you honestly think we would have anything to do with that little beast after what she did to us?”


Spike’s mouth was hanging open- what on earth was going on here?


“We haven’t seen her since we kicked her out last year with that brute of hers.” Hank told him. “Harrison I think his name is. The whole business is utterly disgusting.”


“Harrison?”


“A ridiculous name.” Isabella was muttering as she turned away from the front door and made her way back into the house. “That girl is no daughter of mine.”


Spike found himself alone with the man whose face held the same nose and the same eyes as Buffy’s face.


“I’ll tell you this once young man, and once alone.” Hank said, his voice dropping to a dangerously low pitch. “That daughter of ours, she’s bad news. I know that first hand- that’s why we kicked her out, disinherited her. For your own good son, stay away from her.”


The door was slammed in his face, and instead of wondering what Buffy could have done that was so terrible; Spike found himself wondering how he was ever going to be able to find her so he could apologise.


Whatever she’d done, whatever she hadn’t done; it was in the past now. He needed to leave it there, and so did everybody else.


The only thing he needed now was to find her so he could set his own mistakes right again.

________________________________________
A/N: Ahh, even more mysteries to add to the pile.
Guys, I have to tell you that I’m SO sorry about the delay in updating. As I said earlier in a few review-responses, my computer broke last Friday [which was a complete trauma- I can tell you][but luckily I have most things saved on my memory stick so I didn’t lose too much] But that meant a huge delay in the writing and updating of this story. Hopefully, since my new computer seems to be working just fine, I’ll be able to get back to updating regularly [I know you love it when I update every day!!] So thank you very much for bearing with me [and not assuming I’d disappeared of the face of the earth!] and I really do hope you enjoyed this chapter!! Thank you for reading, and please leave a review if you enjoyed the update!
Thanks guys, Love Dee xxx
_______________________________________

The laws of the school yard


No one seemed to know where Buffy lived; every person he spoke to; Darla, Cordy, Angel; they all gave him the same address that Drusilla had, suggesting that they too had no idea what was truly going on in Buffy’s life.


The only people who knew where she lived were her two friends, Xander and Willow, but they weren’t telling him a thing.


So he had to wait until Monday morning to speak with her, and he could only hope that someone else didn’t get there first. That would be the last thing he needed, and it was likely that Buffy would never speak to him again if he didn’t tell her the truth in person. If he couldn’t explain exactly what he had thought, and exactly why he was so wrong.


But Buffy didn’t show on Monday morning, or Tuesday morning for that matter.


Joyce said she hadn’t been into work either, and though she was being lenient with the hours, she was in dire need of a reliable worker and if worst came to the worst, she might have to let Buffy go.


Of course, this would be Spike’s fault, and there was no way he could let that happen. No way at all.


He was certain the only reason she hadn’t been to school or work was because she didn’t want to run the risk of seeing him; having to speak to him after he stood her up, and he was desperate to set things right for her, before she got herself into any more trouble.


“I’m not certain where she lives,” Joyce said, “But I know its close by. She said that on the first day when you offered to run her home in the Desoto.”


“Mmmm.” Spike said. Now he knew that Buffy didn’t want him seeing and judging her by her home, he couldn’t be certain that she hadn’t just refused his lift so she could keep him away. He told his mother this, and she added;


“I sent her home to collect something once and she couldn’t have been gone for more than ten minutes before she was back with it, meaning she can’t live anything more than five minutes away from here.”


Spike liked that reasoning, and his mother closed the gallery early so they could knock on doors and ask if anyone knew a small blond, seventeen year old girl called Buffy.


It was a last resort after all.


They split up, taking opposite directions and agreeing to meet up again in an hour’s time, back at the gallery.


It didn’t take Spike long to realise that the area they were searching, wasn’t a particularly pleasant one.


Doors were slammed in his face before he could even ask about Buffy, and doors were slammed in his face before people even bothered to consider his question. It was hopeless. The few who did listen to him, didn’t know anything, and Spike was rapidly beginning to feel as if he were fighting a losing battle.


It was like a dance. One step forward, two steps back. In fact, his whole goddamned relationship with Buffy to date had been a bloody dance.


Each time they took a step forward; she did something that made him think maybe the others were wrong about her; then he would discover something inaccurate that would force them two steps back again.


The only problem was, this whole dance was entirely his own fault.


He was the one who was far too quick to judge her, and now the whole thing had blown up in his face, with Buffy seemingly disappearing off the face of the earth.


“Hey kid.” Said the voluptuous brunette who opened the next door he knocked on. “You lost?”


In her arms she held an infant who was beginning to wail and she scolded him half-heartedly, before continuing to Spike;


“We don’t get much of your sort ‘round here.”


Momentarily forgetting his Buffy-finding-quest, Spike felt mildly insulted by the brunette’s words.


“My sort?” he repeated, turning her statement into a question.


The woman stepped back to look him up and down. “Upper middle class.” She declared easily. “English and living in America, so obviously in the money. Going through a rebellious spell. Probably dating a cheerleader. How’ma doing?”


Spike glared at her. “Right on all counts, bar the cheerleader.”


The girl laughed, and the kid in her arms stopped crying for a moment.


“Look,” she said, “I’m moving out of this place later today- got a new job out in LA and I’m leaving this dump behind for good, so I don’t really have all tat much time just to stand and chat…”


“Oh, right.” Said Spike, “Well I make it quick. I’m actually looking for someone.”


The woman shifted the baby in her arms, “I’ll help if I can.”


“Buffy.” Spike said. “Buffy Summers. It’s a long shot, but I know that she lives around here somewhere and…” he noticed an immediate change in the brunette’s stance, and he paused before saying, “Wot?”


The girl chuckled slightly, though her eyes had darkened. “Oh, this is rich.” She said. “You’re the famous Spike, aren’t you?”


He quirked an eyebrow at her.


“Heard of me?”


“Yeah I’ve heard of you. In fact, B told me all about you.” She set the small boy back down onto the ground and he crawled at full speed, back into the house. “Now, seeing as we only just met, I really hate to be a bitch, but hey- I’m a well connected girl, and if you don’t get out of my sight within the next ten seconds, I am going to unleash some serious pain on you, you little dick. No one stands my girl up and goes on thinking they can get away with it.”


Spike held his hands up immediately, in the hopes of showing her that he wasn’t a threat.


“Please,” he said, “I don’t want her to forgive me- I don’t deserve it- I just want to tell her how sorry I am.”


“Sure you do.” The angry looking brunette replied. “And I suppose you’ll never hurt her again either, and I bet you think you can take real good care of her.”


“I just want to tell her how sorry-”


“You know what? You men are all the same. Why do you always have to pick at and hurt the weaker girls?” the dark haired woman looked all but ready to blow a gasket. “This girl has been through so much- so much crap in her life- and the last thing she needs is another complete jerk thinking he’ll have a little go with her. She is not like that. No matter what you’ve been told Spike, Buffy Summers is not a slut- she never has been, and she never will be, and no matter how much you apologise and sweet-talk her, there is no way she is going to sleep with you, so just get the Hell out of here.”


Spike had to take a moment to marvel at just how very much Buffy’s few friends cared for and protected her. First Willow, and now this woman.


Buffy was obviously a very well-loved girl, even if only a few people could see her true worth.


“I’m not trying to sweet talk her.” He said, hoping his voice sounded as earnest as he felt. “I swear to you. She never has to see me again if she doesn’t want to; but I can’t have her living her life, thinking this is her fault.”


“Don’t you get it?” the woman demanded, “Buffy doesn’t want to see you know. She told me as much this very morning. She’s sick and tired of being messed around and looked down on Spike. If you didn’t want to take her out on a date, then why the Hell did you ask her?”


Spike’s head dipped down and suddenly the floor seemed very interesting to him.


“It’s a long story.” He muttered.


“Do you know how long it’s been?” the woman asked, her voice slightly softer now. “How long it’s been since someone looked at her the way you did. How long it’s been since someone other that Xander, Willow and I even spoke to her as if she were a human being?” the woman shook her head, looking at Spike with disgust. “I don’t know how you could do that to someone so wonderful. How you could build her hopes up; make her think that there really are good people in the world after all, and then shatter them. Break her heart.”


Spike felt the weight on his chest like a stack of bricks.


“I’m so-”


“What part of- get the hell out of here- don’t you understand?”


“I just-”


“Get the Hell out of here!”


“But I need to-”


“Seriously? It’s like you want me to kick your upper-middle class ass!”


Spike groaned. Over-protective friends were all well and good, but this woman knew where Buffy was, and she wasn’t looking all too likely to tell him.


“Listen, you have to believe me; I just want to-”


“Faith, what’s going on?” Buffy was looking at her friend as she appeared in the doorway, holding the small child that the brunette had just put down. “I heard yelling, are you-”


Faith stepped aside, and Buffy froze when she saw Spike standing on her doorstep. Practically inside her grotty little home.


“Spike… What are you…”


He was staring at her so hard; she could practically feel his eyes boring holes in her like red hot lasers. She’d never felt so self-conscious in her life, as she stood there in the doorway to the dump she called a home, holding a ten month old boy in her arms.


“B…uffy.” Spike said falteringly. Now he’d finally found her, he wasn’t at all sure what to say.


“I told him to get lost,” the girl called Faith said instantly. “But he ignored me. Sorry B.”


“It’s okay Faith.” She replied, “Listen, you’ve got a long day of travelling ahead of you, so you should get back to your packing.”


“Buffy, if he’s going to bother you then I’m not going to move to-”


“Faith I’ll be fine. We’ve been over this.” She glanced sideways at Spike, hoping he wasn’t really listening as she said in a smaller voice, “I’ve got enough money to put Harry into day care now anyway, so it doesn’t matter that you won’t be around to look after him during the day. Don’t worry about it.”


Faith looked guilty, and Spike was still trying to run through what Buffy had just said.


…I’ve got enough money…Harry into day care…Don’t worry…


She had a baby? A son?


“Buffy, I swear. If ever you need me, just pack your bags and get on a bus to LA. I’ll be there for you girl- I’ll make room for you at my new place, it’s not a problem.”


Buffy smiled gratefully, and Spike felt as if he were interrupting a private moment.


“I’m gonna miss you so much.” Buffy said as she wrapped her arms around the other girl. “But it’s cool- I promise. I’m a big girl now; I can handle myself. Thanks to you.” She emphasised.


“Just make sure you don’t let jerks like this-” she jabbed her thumb in Spike’s direction, “Play you. If you get hurt, I’ll be back in a heartbeat and ready to castrate.”


Buffy giggled, and the baby in her arms squirmed; demanding to be put back down, making Buffy giggle some more.


“Get on with your packing.” Buffy instructed, and she watched her friend wander back into the house. Then she turned back to look at Spike again, and there was something different in her eyes.


It looked like humiliation.


“Why did you come here?”

__________________________________________________
A/N: Kudos to Klai for letting me use your dancing metaphor- I thought it was about time I bunged that in there. Plus, a big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, and all the others before that. Over 130 reviews for just seven chapters is some kind of new record for me, so thank you guys very very much.
Lots of love, dee xx
__________________________________________________

The laws of the school yard


Buffy Summers is a princess.


Everyone knows this.


It’s obvious in the way she smiles; in the way she flicks her California-beach blonde hair over her shoulder in such a care-free manner. It’s obvious in the way that men and boys alike, fall at her feet.


Still, she doesn’t seem to know it.


She’s one of those people who flits through life without a care in the world. She doesn’t bother with school work much, because it’s not the cool thing to do. She makes her friends laugh when she says this, but they all agree. Everyone agrees with Buffy.


She’s full of romantic ideals too; always turning guys down when they ask her out, because they’re not the one she dreamed of when she was a little girl.


She’s sweet, you could say, but not all that bright. Not street smart. Certainly not intelligent.


She’s living out of daddy’s wallet; getting her hair dyed at a fancy salon every week with momma. She’s their little princess too.


Little Princess Buffy. Or Elizabeth, as her parents prefer for her to be referred to as.


She lives in a bubble, some say, a bubble of laughter and friendship that protects her from the harsh realities of real life. Sometimes she sees real life peeking in at her, and it makes her shudder. Sometimes real life talks to her, in the form of an annoyed teacher, or a jealous classmate. But not often, because everyone knows she’s above them in her bubble.


“Buffy Summers, your assignment is a week overdue.”


She shrugs, because it really doesn’t matter to her. And because it doesn’t matter to her, there’s not a lot the teacher can threaten her with. Failing? Who cares? Not Buffy, that’s for sure.


“Ha- Buffy, the way you put Miss Applebee back in her place just then was like, totally first-rate.”


“She just needs to understand my extreme priorities.”


“Extreme. You’re like, so right girlfriend. God, I wish I could be more like you.”


Buffy’s smile is a little bit too grand, because a lot of the time she isn’t really sure what she’s smiling about, so she has to force it onto her face.


“You’re like, super-sweet.”


Her best friends are Cordelia and Darla; two beautiful girls who are fiercely loyal to her and to her word. They follow her around like puppies a lot of the time, telling her how wonderful and perfect she is, as if hoping Buffy will pat the tops of their silky heads.


Buffy humours them, since she’s known them her whole life. But does she really know them? Do they ever really show their true selves around her?


Still, she stays with them because she doesn’t no any different. Any better.


Her group rallies the school; noticed and watched everywhere they go. They’re the rulers of the school corridors.


And then there are the guys. All of them are gagging for the virginal innocence of Buffy, but they’ll settle for Darla or Cordy, because having one of her followers is almost good enough. At least, it ups the street credibility a little.


And at the centre, the very heart of that group of young men, is Liam Angel. Angel to his friends.


The most sought after guy in the whole of Sunnydale High; but the only girl he wants is Buffy.


It’s garishly obvious to everyone in the school that Liam Angel wants to claim Buffy Summers as his own; garishly obvious to everyone except Buffy Summers herself, that is. Because, as was already mentioned, she’s not a particularly bright girl.


“So you’re gonna screw her?” asks one of Angel’s cronies, Riley Finn.


Angel smirks, “You bet.” He tells his friends, who all grin like Cheshire cats.


They’re jealous, of course, because they know that Angel really is the only one of them who could possibly lull the girl into bed. Firstly; he’s a great actor. Second; he’s patient.


And thirdly; every other girl in the school is longing for him to lull her into bed.


“Simple.” Says Angel. “It might take a while, but it’ll be worth it to do a virgin. Especially this virgin.” He added.


His friends all grin and snigger, and Angel smirks.


“Hey!” Angel says, catching up with the pretty young blond, “It’s Buffy right?”


Darla and Cordy look at each other, before quickly steaming on ahead of their friend.


“Catch ya later Buff,” Darla calls back to her.


Buffy blinks for a moment, before turning to Angel. “Yeah, it’s Buffy.” She says. She smiles broadly; another of those smiles which she produces when she isn’t really sure what else to do. “And you’re Liam.”


“Call me Angel.” He says, “Everyone else does.”


“Oh,” Buffy smiles again, “Okay, like, that’s cool!”


Angel beams at her, and though his toothy grin momentarily unsettles her, she quickly pushes the feeling aside. After all, this is Liam Angel.


“So, what’s your next lesson?” he asks, and she rolls her eyes as she groans;


“English Literature. Like, colour me bored.”


Angel chuckles, “I’ll walk you if you like.” He offers, making Buffy’s heart flutter a little.


“Oh, gosh…” she says, “Sure, I’d really like that.”


In the weeks that follow, Angel works at becoming the man Buffy had dreamt about as a little girl.


He walks her to every lesson, opens every door for her, compliments her hair and outfit, drives her home from school in his Jag.


He’s a perfect gentleman.


And Buffy’s heart flutters with joy when he asks her out.


“Buffy-” he says, his face softened by the warm sunlight shinning into his car, “Getting to know you over these past few weeks has been really great.”


“I totally agree.” She smiles.


“I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so charismatic and beautiful,” Angel continues, his voice filled with emotion. “You’ve changed everything for me Buff, and I don’t think I can carry on, just being your friend.”


“Angel…” she whispers, “What are you saying?”


“I just wondered whether you would like to go out with me.” He says, his face dipping shyly, “Just one night out, to the movies. If it doesn’t feel right then that’s fine, we can leave it right there. But I think we’d be really great together Buff.”


“Oh!” Buffy says, quickly repressing the desire to squeal like the preppy teenaged girl she really is. “Oh gosh, of course Angel!”


He glances back up again; his eyes ecstatic, “Really?”


“Yes!” Buffy cries, throwing her arms around his neck, “Oh Angel- how could I ever turn you down?”


He holds her tightly; savouring the feeling of her small body pressed against his; and as he gazes over her shoulder, listening to her gush about how long she’s liked him; he smirks.


A dark and self-satisfied smirk.


“So I was like, yeah, totally!” Buffy giggles as she links arms with Cordelia excitedly, “Can you believe it guys? Liam Angel!”


“Notorious bad boy.” says Darla seductively, “Buffy dear, I’m almost jealous.”


“So where’s he taking you?” Cordy asks, causing Buffy to squeal again.


“The movies,” she says; her voice still high with excitement, “I don’t know what we’re watching yet, but I know that it’ll be- Oh, there he is!”


“Hey Summers.” Angel says, swooping her into his arms and twirling her around; relishing in her giggles of delight, before setting her back down on the floor again, “And how are we this morning?”


“Totally awesome!” she gushes, gazing at him with open adoration. “I hope you don’t mind, but I told Cordy and Darla about us.”


Angel smiles broadly.


“Of course I don’t mind.” He says, thinking about how great this relationship will make him look. How envious the other guys will be. “We should tell everybody.”


“You’re so right.” Buffy agrees, and her eyes are dreamy again as she gazes at him. “Everyone will be so happy for us.”


Willow Rosenberg is a nerd, and this is a fairly well-known fact of life.


She likes to spend her time in the school library, reading, studying or just hanging out with her best friend Xander, and the school librarian, Mr Giles.


Although she’s quite a pretty girl, she is not very highly regarded at all by the guys of Angel’s gang, or the girls of Buffy’s gang. It seems that being smart automatically makes you uncool at Sunnydale High. Not that she particularly cares.


In fact, she wouldn’t have a thing to do with any of them if she could help it, but unfortunately Liam Angel is failing math, and three months ago Principle Snyder announced that she would be tutoring him up until the end of year exams.


At first she’d flat out refused, but Principle Snyder had threatened her near perfect grade card, and Willow had finally caved; agreeing to help Angel with his math, twice a week, after school.


“It’s like detention.” Angel tells his angry looking girlfriend. “But instead of being told what to do by a teacher, it’s some swatty little girl called Rosenberg.”


Buffy scowls; outraged that her boyfriend is being treated in such a way. “Can’t you just tell her to get lost?” she asks, pouting adorably. “I wanted to go out with you to the Mall this afternoon.”


“Sorry babe.” Angel replies.


Buffy shrugs, then announces that she’ll just tag along with him to his math lesson instead, “I mean, it’s like, only an hour right?”


“Right.”


Willow is more than a little surprised when she sees Buffy Summers stroll into her allocated classroom, behind Angel. But she knows better than to say anything; because questioning the popular people leads to having your head bitten off.


“Well…” she says hesitantly, glancing down at the book she held open in front of her, more than a little nervously. “I thought we might look a trig today.”


“Oh God!” says Buffy, and she turns to her boyfriend, “Is this girl for real?”


“Unfortunately yes.” Angel says grimly.


“So I’m gonna start with the Tan rule if that’s alright with you,” Willow continues, pretending she can’t hear what they’re saying.


“She’s actually socially retarded.” Angel informs Buffy, who sniggers despite herself. “I don’t think she even knows where the Mall is babe.”


Willow forces herself to look up into their smug faces, before saying, “An easy way to remember-”


“And she thinks this stuff is important?” Buffy asks, slightly incredulous. “School is nothing.”


Willow looks at the girl with slight surprise, before remembering what everyone says about her living out of her father’s wallet, and relying on her looks for the future that will no doubt fall into her lap.


“Please…” Willow says, her voice subdued, as she really doesn’t want to beg with this girl. “If Liam fails his end of year exams then I fail too.”


Buffy snorts, she can’t help it, “Seriously?”


“Not really.” Angel says, “If I fail math then she gets an F for communication. No one else even gets a communication grade anyway.”


“Oh.” Buffy rolls her eyes, “Lame. Look-” she says to Willow, “Newsflash. None of this matters in the real world; what matters are, like, your people skills and your telephone voice, so I don’t see why you’re stressing out.”


Willow just stares back at her.


“God!” Buffy cries, “You can’t seriously be this much of a freak, I mean, this is a joke right?”


Willow blushes horribly, before grabbing her bag and fleeing the room.


For a second, Buffy feels guilt. But then she realises Angel is now hers for the afternoon, and she squeals as she says,


“Mall?”


This has to be the awesomest thing that has ever happened to her.


Buffy can hardly believe that she’s here right now; standing beneath the stars with Liam Angel’s warm arms wrapped around her slight body.


Angel...


So what if wise men say ‘only fools rush in’- she’s falling in love; falling, toppling, tumbling; and she doesn’t care.


All that matters in this moment is the feel of his warm breath against her cheek.


The caress of his bare arms against hers.


She could stand this way forever. Forever and ever.


He’s the only one she wants and she knows, she knows, he’s the only man she will ever love in all her life.


Buffy and Angel are six months into their beautiful relationship when Drusilla joins Sunnydale High, and though Angel seems charmed by the strange, dark-haired girl, Buffy takes an instant dislike to her. Though of course, she would never show it.


“I’m Drusilla.” She says, taking Buffy’s hand tightly in her own. “I just moved here from England.”


“Oh.” Buffy says, unable to muster the enthusiasm. “Neat.”


“You know, I’m originally from Ireland.” Angel offers. He’s completely unable to take his eyes from Drusilla; a fact that Buffy can’t seem to ignore. She feels an uneasy feeling settle in the pit of her stomach as Drusilla smiles brightly.


“Ireland’s a magnificent place.” She says, “I stayed there with relatives one summer. Which part are you from?”


Buffy feels herself switch off as her boyfriend and the new girl begin to converse like old friends about their homelands.


“I like California.” She eventually offers weakly, and both Angel and Drusilla look at her oddly, before returning to their conversation.


Oh, this is so not looking good.


It takes Angel a whole month, before he finally cheats on Buffy with Drusilla.


‘She’s made me wait too long’ he justifies to himself as he lets his hands trail over Drusilla’s naked form. ‘She must know I have needs. I’m a man after all. If anything, it’s her fault.’


Drusilla grins at him wickedly as he begins to move above her.


“Are you thinking about that little whore of yours?” she asks, tracing her fingers over the furrows of his brow. She spits the name; “Buffy?”


“No.” he says, pressing his lips to hers, “Never. She’s nothing next to you Dru. A girl; a kid.”


Drusilla smirks as he calls her name, instead of his girlfriend’s.


They continue that way for months; sleeping together in secret. Sneaking off to the janitor’s closet every day after lunch. Stolen moments behind the bike shed. Footsie under the cafeteria table.


Buffy, of course, doesn’t notice.


She lives her life oblivious to their sordid little affair, and she even forces herself to consider Drusilla a friend.


In fact, Buffy Summers is perfectly happy.


In just a few weeks time, she and Angel will be celebrating their year anniversary, and she knows perfectly well what will happen that night.


Angel’s hinted, of course. Her parents are going to be out of town and Angel has announced that he will be staying the night with her for the first time.


Now, Buffy might not be the brightest penny in the jar, but she knows what this means.


He’s going to make love to her for the very first time. And she can hardly wait.


“My cousin’s having a party this weekend.” Angel tells her one day, three weeks before their anniversary. “He’s at college so it’s going to be pretty wild. I told him we’d be there.”


“Oh!” Buffy squeals; invigorated by the idea of a wild party with Angel. “Awesome!”


“Yeah?” Angel asks, slightly taken aback by her reaction. Maybe he has forgotten recently just how cute Buffy really is. “You wanna go?”


“Oh, deffo!” she says, “I have this totally neat new outfit that you’ll just die when you see. Can we invite Cordy and Darla?”


Angel notices when she doesn’t mention Drusilla, but he doesn’t say anything.


“My cousin said it’s gotta be pretty exclusive, you know-” he says, “Wouldn’t be cool to have too many high school kids showing up.”


“Oh, right…” Buffy says, “Well never mind. But gosh, they’re gonna be so jealous.”


She giggles, before pressing her lips to Angel’s.


Angel agreed to meet her at the party, so Buffy sits awkwardly beside the dance floor as she waits for him to show up.


He was certainly right about the party being wild. There’s alcohol free-flowing from every angle, and Buffy has to avoid meeting the eyes of some of the drunk and leering frat boys.


Actually, she’s a little scared.


“Where are you Angel?” she mutters aloud, crossing her long and exposed legs, feeling suddenly very self-concious.


She glances down at her watch.


Well, okay, he’s only forty five minutes late, but she’s really not enjoying the heavy feeling she can feel in the pit of her stomach every time another drunken frat guy stumbles in her direction.


“Hello Princess.”


She stands up quickly and makes her way over to the other side of the room where she sits down again.


She feels like her skirt is riding up, but she’s scared to stand and sort it out.


Maybe she should get a drink? No, bad idea. Alcohol and Buffy are pretty unmixy things after all.


“You…ga…my princess?” he’s practically out of his face.


Buffy scrunches her nose up in disgust, trying to move away from him.


“Hey- back off Kane.” Says a voice, and Buffy looks up to see a tall, dark haired guy. It’s not Angel. “Is he bothering you?”


Buffy nods slightly, and the tall, dark haired guy pushes ‘Kane’ out of his way, before sitting down beside Buffy.


“You look little bit lost babe.”


Buffy shrugs, “I’m waiting for my boyfriend.”


“Oh?” the guy asks, “Can I get you a drink while you wait?”


Buffy stares at him, feeling a little out of her depth. Should she accept the drink and risk making a drunken fool of herself, or refuse it and make herself look like a silly little child?


“Sure.” She says eventually, “Just a vodka and lemonade.”


The guy smiles at her as he nods, “Wait here.”


“Uhhg,” grunts Angel, “I should…. Really be at the party with-”


“Don’t say that bitch’s name!” Drusilla cries, clawing his bare chest.


“Never,” Angel quickly agrees, covering her mouth with his own. “Nothing compared to you Dru. Nothing.”


He stands in the kitchen pouring a reasonable amount of vodka into the young girl’s cup, before mixing in the lemonade.


Then he glances at the door, before digging a small plastic container out of his pocket, and tipping its contents into her drink.


It fizzes as he stirs it.


Then he grins, dropping a straw into the cup and a slice of lemon, before going back into the party to find his new friend.

A/N: Wow, that was quite a chapter to write! Firstly, I just wanted to point out that I used a different writing style [and even a completely different tense] as a way to emphasize that this chapter is almost like a completely different story. I hope that was effective [and not too confusing!]. The next chapter will pick up where this one left off, to give you Buffy’s complete back-story, so please keep reading and thank you for all your lovely reviews!
Thank you, lotsa love, Dee xxx

The laws of the school yard


Buffy is giggling like a child and she knows she should stop but she can’t. It’s just too funny.


What’s funny? Everything’s funny! Every little thing, and oh! Where’s he going?


“Where are you going?”


“To get you another drink babe.”


She looks at the glass in her hand. It’s only three quarters empty.


It’s only her first drink!


She giggles some more; her first drink? That’s funny!


He comes back before she even noticed he was gone and he has another drink in his hand.


“For you babe.” He says, and she laughs, drinking from both.


“Yum yum.”


“You like that one?” he asks, and she nods enthusiastically.


“Fruity.” She comments.


It occurs to her that she hasn’t checked for Angel in a while, so she sweeps her emerald eyes over the party in front of her. Everyone else seems to be laughing too. Maybe they knew what’s funny.


She wants to ask them but she can’t be bothered.


“I think we should go upstairs.” Says her companion, and she giggles at that too.


“No.” she tells him in a silly voice. “I told you- I’m waiting for my boyfriend.”


“Don’t think he’s coming babe.”


“How’d you know?” she asks, pointing a finger at him, then laughing when he pokes it. She tries to look serious as she says. “No, I should wait for him down here and stuff and.”


“I don’t think you mean that.” Her companion replies in a voice that’s suddenly impatient.


“What?” she asks, “I do- do mean that. Mean what?”


“You want to come upstairs with me really, don’t you?”


Buffy feels suddenly frightened, and she tries to force herself to sober up fast.


“N-No.” she stutters, glancing away from him to see if there’s anybody nearby who can help her. “I don’t know what y-you mean.”


“Well look at yourself.” He says, a tight smile playing across his lips. “You’re telling me you didn’t come here to get screwed, wearing an outfit like that?”


Buffy glances down at the short skirt she had chosen to impress Angel and her friends, and it made her feel suddenly sick.


“N-No.” she says, then more forcefully. “No. I’m here to meet my boyfriend.”


“Well, where is he then?” the guy asks, pretending to look around. “I don’t see him anywhere, babe.”


“H-He’s…”


Suddenly nothing is funny anymore.


He’s sitting too close to her, his face right up against hers.


“He’s not here.” He tells her in a mocking voice. “Boo hoo. Guess you’ll have to hang out with me upstairs after all.”


Buffy looks up into his bleary eyes, and her own are streaked with undeniable terror. “What?”


He smirks; his expression dark. “Are you stupid?”


Buffy stumbles to her feet, but the alcohol must have had a gutting effect on her, because she falls right over again, letting out a small cry as she feels his arms encircle her.


“No!” she yells out, her eyes frantically scanning the party for any signs of help.


Half unconscious party-goers laugh dumbly at her struggles as the guy carries her toward the staircase.


“No!”



“Hey Buff!” calls Angel, catching up with her in the school corridor. She’s walking on her own for once and her face is downcast. “You alright?”


“Fine.” She says absently, before walking on without him.


Angel watches her go with an annoyed expression on his face. He assumes she’s pissed at him for not leaving her to party alone on Saturday night. Big deal.


He doesn’t know what happened to her in his absence.


He doesn’t know that she’s dead inside.


“Stupid bitch doesn’t know what she’s missing out on.” Drusilla murmurs into his mouth, later that night.



Prom is one week before their anniversary.


She wears a sophisticated red dress that dips dangerously low between her breasts and clings to her body in all the right places.


She bought it before she was raped.


She wears it now in the same way that anybody else would wear a mask; hiding her true self behind her old front, because the dress is everything she used to be; beautiful, bold, brave, daring.


She isn’t those things anymore. He took that away from her.


Angel doesn’t seem to notice the change that has happened within her. She knows this when she feels his eyes sweep over her as if she is some kind of object. She feels like a candle with no wick; unusable, but still pretty to look at.


“You look beautiful.” He tells her, and she forces herself to produce that same mindless smile that used to come so easily to her. The smile that’s getting harder and harder to fake everyday.


She knows she’s going to break down soon, and what happens when Angel realises that she’s broken?


“Thank you.” She tells him. “You look good too.”


“I know.” He kids.


For a second she feels normal.


Then he puts his hand on her arm and she isn’t so sure that she can do this. But she has to. The smile is back again, but weaker than ever before.


She stands in front of the camera lens, half an hour later; she’s surrounded by friends, but she’s never felt so alone in all her life.


“Smile!”


Angel’s arms encircle her and she smiles more boldly than ever before; letting her red lips consume her face. A mask, that’s what she’s wearing.


Not a smile; a mask.


This isn’t who she is. She shouldn’t be here. These people; they’re all empty, soulless. Have any of them even noticed how broken she has become? Do they even care?


These horribly fake, uncaring people.


All around her they smile happily, pretending as much as she is. They’re not her friends; they never have been.


But that’s when she realises; she was one of them.


And now she isn’t.


But that doesn’t even matter, because without them, she’d be even more alone than she already is. And she needs somebody to keep her grounded; to keep her alive.



“Happy anniversary Buffy.”


She feels sick. She needs to tell him; to tell him everything that has happened.


But she can’t; he’s the last person she can tell. He’ll never ever understand.


For this latest twist, he’ll blame her.


He’s in her bedroom, holding a pink-wrapped gift out towards her.


She should be relaxed; this is the night she’s been looking forward to for the best part of a year. This is Angel; she knows Angel; she loves Angel. It’s fine now. Everything’s fine- and of course, everything will work out.


“Thank you.”


It’s a necklace with a heart shaped pendant.


She lifts her hair away from her neck and he secures it for her before trailing a finger down her spine and murmuring, “Buffy…”


She shivers and wants to run.


“I’ve waited so long for this Buffy.”


“Oh God!”


Buffy knows there’s panic in her voice, but she can’t conceal it.


“What?”


“Angel, I don’t think I can do this.”


Tears appear in her eyes, but he wipes them away.


“Shh…” he says soothingly, and she feels herself swaying in his arms. “Buffy, it’s okay. I’ve got you. It’s gonna be okay. You can do this.”


She feels swamped by love for him, and she knows she’ll have to do this some time. Why not do it with a man that she loves.


“I can do this.” She agrees in a whisper, making him smile. “I can. You’re right.”


“Of course I’m right babe.” He lays a hand on her waist and she freezes.


Suddenly she’s backing away from him. She can’t help it.


Terror fills her eyes. Angel’s staying the night? Whoever came up with this stupid idea? What if he wanted to do it more than once? What would she do? What could she do.


“No.” she says quickly, “Angel no, I can’t…”


He keeps his eyes patient. “Can’t what babe?”


The word babe makes her feel violently sick.


“I can’t do this.” she indicates around the room, towards the bed. “I can’t sleep with you. I can’t.”


The loving patience slips away from Angel’s eyes.


“What?”


“I’m sorry, I just can’t.”


“What?”


“Please, Angel, try to understand.”


He stares at her for a moment; recalling his own words in his head as he looks at her. ‘Just a girl; a kid.’


She really is.


“You know what Buffy, fine.” He says, thinking of Drusilla and her willing body. “I think I’ll just leave actually.”


“No Angel- you don’t have to-”


“Oh, I really do.”


He’s halfway to the door when he notices something half hidden beneath Buffy’s school bag.


A pregnancy test.


He says nothing more to her as he leaves.


“A pregnancy test?” Drusilla repeats, incredulous. She’s walking down the school corridor, surrounded by Angel’s friends, as well as Darla and Cordy. “You’re kidding, you mean…”


“She’s been sleeping around.” Angel supplies. “Because I have never slept with her. In fact, I was under the impression that she’s a virgin.”


Drusilla giggles, and Darla and Cordy both look awe-struck, before joining in the laughter.


“Oh my God,” says Darla, her voice a dry lull, “She really had us believing that she was one of us.”


“Oh she so didn’t.” Cordy protested, “I, like, always knew we were better than her. I’ve just been waiting for it to come out.”


Darla rolls her eyes as she says, “She is so not one of us anymore.”


At that moment, Buffy rounds the corner, and the group that proceeds towards her show no sign of backing down.


“Hey Buffy.” Drusilla says, standing between Buffy’s two best friends. “You alright.”


Buffy looks slightly wary as she says, “I’m fine, thank you.”


“Good good. So, I’ve been screwing Angel.” At Buffy’s confused look, she elaborates. “You know, since you seem more intent on screwing other people anyway.”


Buffy stares at Drusilla; her eyes swamping with tears.


She really hadn’t just said that, had she?


Her eyes drift to Angel, and her heart clenches painfully in her chest as he smirks at her slightly, before retreating back to stand beside the brunette.


“Angel?” she asks. How had he even found out? “You told them?”


And then she sees her other friends join him.


The best friends who had been all she had known since the very first day of Kindergarten. Now they’re just looking at her with expressionless faces; portraying no emotion, no remorse.


Buffy’s finding it hard to breathe.


“You brought this on yourself Buffy.” Drusilla says, and Buffy finds herself suddenly conscious of the crowd gathering around them. “What did you think would happen?”


Buffy can’t respond; can’t speak. Don’t they know she couldn’t breathe right now? How on earth is she supposed to respond?


“You are not one of us.” says Darla in a cold voice.


“You’re out.” agrees Cordelia.


“I’m just glad that Angel refused to sleep with you.” adds Drusilla, making Buffy’s eyes go wide.


That’s what he’d told them? But that isn’t true; it was her who had refused. But how could she ever explain that to her once-friends, without revealing what had happened to her at the party Angel had never turned up to, all those weeks ago.


“You’re a slut.” spits Angel, “A dirty little slut.”


They all turn and walk away, leaving Buffy standing alone like a broken doll on the verge of collapse.


It takes her a few moments to realise that Drusilla is still standing before her, and the quiet words that the dark haired girl whispers to her next are enough to transform Buffy’s tears of loss into a snarl of rage.


“You better hope you’re not pregnant.” Drusilla hisses. “Because unless you get rid of that thing, no man will ever look twice at you again.”


Buffy’s face contorts with anger-filled hate, “How dare you?” she screams, launching herself at the brunette and pushing her to the ground. How dare that bitch think she can just tell Buffy what she would do with her life?


“Oh, I dare!” Drusilla is laughing, well aware of the crowd that has regrouped around them, loudly chanting the word ‘fight!’ over and over. “Buffy, I have everything now. You have nothing. Nothing.”


Buffy’s anger is mingled with pain, and tears begin to wet her cheeks as she punches the other girl, hard, in the face. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” she sobs.


Drusilla pushes her over, hitting her in return, and wrenching some of her golden hair out for good measure.


“You think anyone cares about you now?” Drusilla asks, “Everyone knows what you are.”


“Well then, it won’t take them long to realise what you are, will it?”


“Don’t try and be smart with me.” Drusilla snarls. And then a coy smirk spreads across her face. “Except you’re not smart, are you? Angel told us as much.”


With that, Buffy feels herself letting go of her self-restraint, and she lets her neatly manicured nails meet Drusilla’s pale, unblemished neck.


She digs deep; causing a gash that will later become an ugly scar.


She loses the ability to care about what they think of her as some of the other kids drag her away from Dru.


And when she goes home that night, a changed girl, she swears she’ll never let anyone hurt her the way they have done today; not ever again.


She flips through the pages of her yearbook, then finds the picture she’s looking for.


Rip.


She tears it out and scrawls over her own face; her own forced smile.


“Never again.” She murmurs as she destroys the mask that has covered her for so long. “I wish this girl was never born. I never want to be like her.”


She covers her face with the angry black lines, letting the tears drip down from her nose. Then she shoves the picture into her note book, wiping the salty water from her face and turning a new page in her life.


She’s never going to be that girl ever again. She’s never going to be who they want her to be.


Even if it means she never speaks to another person for the rest of her life.


She has to do the right thing, after all, she’s going to be a mother now.

A/N: Thank yoooooooooooooou!! Please review, it means the world to me. And phew, I can’t wait to write the next chapter and get back to talking about Spike again! I feel like I miss him!!
Thanks again guys, you’re all super

The laws of the school yard


There was humiliation in her eyes.


“Why did you come here?”


Spike didn’t know what to say to her now. The baby in her arms was crying again, and Buffy was struggling to keep a hold of him as he thrashed around.


“Well?” she asked, trying to hold back embarrassed tears. It was bad enough that he had rejected her, but now he was just standing there and gawking at her in silence like she was some kind of circus freak. “Spike, please don’t make me-”


“I came to apologise.” He said quickly, and for a moment Buffy merely blinked.


“What?”


“Sorry.” He said. “Truly; I never meant to hurt you Buffy.” He seemed to think this statement over for a moment, before quietly adding, “Well actually, maybe I did, but I mean, well I didn’t know… I mean, I was wrong. I shouldn’t have… You know, done it.”


Now Buffy was staring at him. He shouldn’t have done what? Stood her up?


“It’s not like it’s the first time someone’s stood me up.” She said; and she seemed to visibly toughen as she said these words. Suddenly she wanted nothing more than to prove how strong she was. “I’m not bothered.”


“No, not standing you up.” Spike said, “I mean the plan- Dru’s plan. I never should have agreed to go along with it.”


At this, Buffy deflated. Spike watched with slight horror as the strength seemed to ebb away from her and she looked suddenly old and sad.


“Oh.” she said. She looked beyond hurt; she looked like he’d left scars on her heart. Like a girl who had suffered through a tremendous amount in her life. “There was a plan.” She held her baby closer to her chest as her eyes dropped to the floor and she muttered, “Of course there was a plan.”


“No, Buffy-” Spike said, feeling the guilt rotting away in his gut at the sight of her broken expression, “The point is I was wrong. Those people, they’re not human. They’re utterly soulless.”


“I know.”


“And I shouldn’t have gone along with it.” He added, “I don’t know why I did- I… I.” he stuttered slightly before finally admitting, “I guess I was a little blinded by Drusilla for a while back there.”


This seemed to snap Buffy out of her reverie, and she glared up at him as she said, “That’s great.” Drusilla, she was thinking, it’s always Drusilla. “Well, you’ve said your bit, so why don’t you just leave me alone now. I’ll tell Joyce that I have to quit and-”


“No, Pet,” he interrupted quickly, “I said a little bit blinded and only for a while it’s over now Buffy.” He wanted so badly to get through to her that she was so much better than the dark haired girl could ever be. So much better than himself. “You’re… Buffy, you’re so far above me.” He didn’t know why, but he knew he was right.


Buffy glared at him sarcastically, before looking pointedly at her surroundings; at her clothes; at her son.


“Right.” She agreed. “I’m like, the highest standing girl in the world right now.”


“I don’t mean with material things.” Spike replied; irritated by her refusal to appreciate her own worth. “You’re so strong. So beautiful. You’ve been through so much, but you’re still here.”


Her eyes swamped with tears as she snapped, “How the Hell would you know?” before adding, “Spike, you don’t even know me. Not in the slightest.” Her small son wrapped his arms around her neck in a child’s subconscious offer of comfort. “All you know is what they’ve told you; that I’m a slut.” she spat the word, “That I sleep around that I’m not worth your time.”


“I know that everything they told me was a lie.”


“Really?” she asked, “Then why do I have a son at seventeen? Why am I living in this shit-hole?”


She wanted him to wise up. For some reason she wanted him to think that she was a bad, strong person. Because it was better than him knowing the truth. As long as he believed the lies that they had told him then he could never get close enough to hurt her again.


“I am a slut.” She said, contradicting everything her friends had told him over the past few days. “I do sleep around.”


Spike stared at her, his expression unreadable as he said. “D’you know what? I don’t believe you. Not for a second.”


“Well then, why are you still here?” she asked, “I know guys. I know guys pretty well in fact. They only ever stick around if they think there’s a chance I might screw them. You obviously still think I’m going to put out.”


Spike felt a rush of sadness that she’d only ever been acquainted with guys like that.


“Buffy, I swear that’s not why I’m here.”


And at that, she visibly softened. Spike saw her sag, and he knew in that moment that he wanted nothing more than to make her smile again; her real, genuine smile,


“Please,” he said, “Just tell me what happened. Tell me what I can do to make it up to you.”


Buffy stared at him. Tell him what happened? God, what a request. She’d never told anybody. Not even Xander, Willow or Faith really knew where Harrison had come from. She’d told them she had fallen in love with her parent’s gardener, and they had had him deported when they’d found out that he had impregnated their daughter.


The idea of telling someone that she had been… raped. It turned her stomach. She’d never even said the word aloud.


It was like a taboo.


Not even when her parents had demanded to know how she could possibly be pregnant. They asked if the baby was Angel’s, and when she said no they’d hit the roof. But it was nothing at all, however, compared to how they had reacted when she had told them she didn’t really know who the father was.


They never even considered that perhaps she had been raped. They threw her out and told her to never come back.


She’d met Faith at a homeless shelter two weeks later. Faith had been serving in the soup kitchens as part of her community service, following her connection to a newsagent’s robbery, a couple of years back.


For some reason, the sight of the fallen prom queen had softened Faith’s otherwise frosty heart, and the brunette had found herself unable to leave Buffy at the shelter. She said that as long as the blonde found employment soon enough, then she was welcome to stay at her place.


Buffy had no misconceptions about the fact that Faith had definitely saved her life that night.


Her school life, meanwhile, had become hell. She looked God-awful and she was getting bigger and bigger everyday. She found herself hiding in the library whenever she could, and it was this that led to her tight friendship with the school librarian, Rupert Giles.


Giles had become a father figure to her, and he helped her through the most difficult of times.


The school library had two other regular occupants, Willow and Xander. At first, Willow was incredibly weary of the EX-prom Queen; remembering clearly, the day Buffy had reduced her to tears as she attempted to tutor Angel with his maths, but after a while Willow too had softened to her, realising that Buffy really had changed, and was just as lonely and heartbroken as she appeared to be. Xander, on the other hand, took some convincing. He saw Buffy as a stuck-up little princess and he had no idea why Willow was even bothering to speak to her.


It was after he had witnessed Buffy being hurled abuse at and mocked as she desperately tried to get away, that he realised his continued hatred was merely further harming an already broken girl.



He had driven her to Willow’s house and the three new friends had embraced and sworn themselves to friendship.


Buffy was in the library with Giles, Xander and Willow when her waters broke, and they all went with her to the hospital; holding her hand and telling her over and over that everything would be okay. Faith met them at the maternity ward, and she too had been accepted into the folds of friendship.


After that Buffy had needed no one else, and as long as they didn’t know the real truth about what had happened, they couldn’t look down on her and lose the fragile respect they had formed for her.


After all, what would they really think of her if they knew she had been raped?


But now, here in front of her stood a man. Someone who had deceived her and hurt her, deliberately, but asking for her forgiveness. Asking to be let in to her very soul.


She regarded him as one would regard a dangerous snake. He could hurt her; he had the potential. But did that mean that he would?


Was it time to finally take a risk?


Her voice was hesitant as she spoke. “Come in.”



The inside was pretty much just as bad as the out, but Buffy didn’t hang her head. She felt proud of what she had accomplished, after all, she had started out this new life of hers with nothing at all.


Faith glared at Spike as he passed her into the box filled sitting room, and he offered her a weak smile.


“B, what are ya doing?” Faith asked, turning away from Spike with disgust. “You know this guy is full of Bull.”


“I know Faith.” Buffy replied, “But I figure if I give him my life story, he might just lay off.”


Her joke was half true. At least if he really was still a jerk, and this was still part of his big evil Drusilla plan, then maybe hearing the truth of all that had happened to her would make him think twice before trying to hurt her.


“What time are you leaving Faith?”


The brunette glanced at her watch, and looked instantly saddened. “Ziggy’s gonna be here with the van in a couple’a minutes.”


Buffy felt her breath leave her as she thought about the prospect of taking care of herself without her best friend’s help.


“B, you know I’ll always be there for you.” Faith said, recognising the look on the blonde’s face. “At the other end of the phone whenever you need me chick.”


“I know.”


“Gonna miss you champ.” Faith said to the baby who she took from Buffy’s arms. “It’s been cool, watching you grow up kidddo.”


The boy laughed as Faith threw him up into the air, catching him haphazardly and swinging him around. Buffy didn’t look worried.


“Promise me you’ll visit.”


“All the time. You’ll be sick of the sight’a me.”


Buffy grinned, then Faith turned to Spike.


“Hurt her and I’ll frickin’ kill you.”


There was a knock at the door before he could respond, and Faith passed the baby boy back to Buffy before gathering her boxes and heading to the door.


“I’ll see you around B.” she threw over her shoulder, and Buffy smiled slightly when she heard the door slam.


Faith had never been too good with goodbyes, still, she had a feeling she’d be seeing her again soon anyway.


“Bye.” She said to the closed door.


It took a few moments before she remembered Spike was still standing behind her, and she turned to smile softly at him.


“I’m going to tell you how I got here; and where I’ve been.” She told him as the decision made itself for her. “And then you’re going to make a deal with me.”


“A deal?”


“Yes.”


“A deal about what?” he asked, looking slightly worried.


“You’ll see.” Buffy replied.

A/N: Ooooh, please please review if you liked it! Thank you so so so so so much to all of you for all your [constructive criticism] and fantastic reviews so far- every time I read what you have to say about my story, I get the tinglies! So thank you very much, you have no idea how much it means to me.

The laws of the school yard



“Do you know the poem ‘The Darkling Thrush’, by Thomas Hardy?” she asked, her eyes fixed on his as she spoke.


He nodded. “I know it.” A frown crossed his features. “Why?”


“I think about it sometimes.” She said simply. “About how it applies to my life.”


“It’s about a bird.” Spike stated simply, and she rolled her eyes at that.


“Oh come on,” she said, “I think I know you well enough to know that you understand metaphors. The bird isn’t just a bird.”


“Okay,” he said, smiling slightly at the thought that she knew him. She knew him already. “I was just testing you pet.”


“Thought as much- you big loser.” She punched his arm and he smiled at her affectionately.


How could he ever have thought that this sweet girl could be the monster that his ‘new friends’ had described her as? They knew nothing. He had known nothing.


“A year ago,” she started, “I had everything. But nothing at the same time.” She closed her eyes slightly as the memories of her popularity flitted through her senses like long-forgotten normalities. “It’s the strangest thing,” she said softly, “To think of all those friends; all those times we laughed and joked. All the times we talked about how happy we were. How we’d be friends forever. And the whole time, I never even felt fractionally as happy as I do now. Now I have no more than three friends, and a son to raise all alone. It’s crazy”


“Four friends.” Spike said, and for a moment she was slightly confused. Then it occurred to her that he was referring to himself as a friend, and she smiled softly before saying,


“I hope so Spike. I really do.”


His smile mirrored hers. And then she sighed, picking her harrowing story back up again.


“I was an idiot. A complete no-brainer.” She said, rolling her eyes, “That’s the only explanation I can possibly offer as to why I ended up dating Liam Angel.”


Spike snorted, “Idiot just about covers it.” He joked, but he soon saw that it wasn’t the time.


“I think he was cheating on me with Drusilla for a long time before he actually broke up with me.” She said, her eyes casting down as she felt the age old pain, still burning her insides. “In fact, I think he might even have been with her that… that night.”


Spike squeezed her hand; letting that caring side she felt she had gotten to know, shine through once more. “Buffy,” he said, “If it’s too difficult, we don’t have to talk about it.”


She shook her head. “No,” she said, “No. I’ve never told a soul about what really happened, and it’s killing me Spike. It’s killing me.” She opened her eyes with a new-found conviction. “I need to talk about it. I have to talk about it.”


Spike nodded, a slight smile appearing on his face at the strength he’d witnessed in her expression. Not to mention the trust she was placing in him. He only hoped he could prove to be the friend that she was hoping for.


“Angel invited me to a party. A college party- with alcohol and frat boys.” She closed her eyes, unable to look at him, but wanting to continue. “He said he’d meet me there, but he never showed up. I know he was with Drusilla.” She gulped, but then felt his hand touching hers again. “I was raped at that party.”


There was silence.


“I’d never slept with a man before.”


Still, Spike didn’t speak.


“Then when Angel found out that I was pregnant- he ended it.”


Spike’s grip on her hand tightened, and she looked up with surprise at the beautifully protective expression on his face.


“The bloody…”


“He told the others that I’d been sleeping around, and my friends, my best friends- deserted me.”


A tear slipped down her cheek.


“I told my parents, and they asked who the father was. I told them I didn’t know, and they told me to leave.”


Spike raised his fingers to her eyelids, wiping away the falling tears.


“That was then,” she said, finally looking back up at him again. “And this is now. I’ve worked through everything that’s happened to me, and come out a stronger person because of it.” She glanced away again self-consciously, “You’re the only person I’ve ever…”


His fingers touched her chin, pulling her back round to look into his delving eyes once more.


“Buffy,” he said; her name a tune on his lips. “I’m glad you told me. I’m glad.”


She stared at him a moment, her eyes completely blank. And then she nodded; falling against his chest and allowing him to embrace her.


It was over.


Somebody knew.


She didn’t have to carry it all alone anymore.


And he wasn’t going to use it against her.


Softly, against her ear, Spike began to recite from memory, the poem that she had mentioned at the beginning of her story.


“I leant upon a coppice gate
When Frost was spectre-gray,
And Winter's dregs made desolate
The weakening eye of day.
The tangled bine-stems scored the sky
Like strings of broken lyres,
And all mankind that haunted nigh
Had sought their household fires.

The land's sharp features seemed to be
The Century's corpse outleant,
His crypt the cloudy canopy,
The wind his death-lament.
The ancient pulse of germ and birth
Was shrunken hard and dry,
And every spirit upon the earth
Seemed fervourless as I.

At once a voice arose among
The bleak twigs overhead
In a full-hearted evensong
Of joy illimited;
An aged thrush, frail, gaunt, and small,
In blast-beruffled plume,
Had chosen thus to fling his soul
Upon the growing gloom.

So little cause for carolings
Of such ecstatic sound
Was written on terrestrial things
Afar or nigh around,
That I could think there trembled through
His happy good-night air
Some blessed Hope, whereof he knew
And I was unaware.”


“It was my son who pulled me through everything.” She admitted into his chest; finding it easier to speak now that his arms were around her. “He was the metaphorical bird in the poem.”


Spike’s hand began to stroke her golden hair in a soothing manor, practically of it’s own accord.


“All around me there was hopelessness.” The young girl continued. “And yet- there he was. My son. A tiny peace of me. Mine. Mine to love forever.” She pulled back to look into Spike’s eyes, her face aglow with an expression he’d never truly seen her wearing before. “Spike, when he smiles at me with his child-like naivety, it’s like he knows something that I don’t: Some blessed Hope, whereof he knew And I was unaware.” She quoted. “Harrison kept me alive.”


He gazed at her, loving the happy glint in her eyes.


“I’m glad.” He said. “Buffy I’m so glad. And…” he paused, raising a hand to cup her cheek. “I’m sorry. Sorry I nearly believed them. Sorry for what I nearly did.”


She raised her hand to his. Feeling scared. Feeling anxious.


But feeling excited.


Was she supposed to be feeling this way.


“It’s okay.” She said softly, “You came clean. You rang true.”


He looked down.


“But I was going to-”


“But you didn’t.”


“Pet…”


“Spike, it’s okay. I forgive you.” She said. “And I thank you. I thank you for being the only person I’ve ever felt truly comfortable in telling.”


His gaze was full of wonderment.


Why him? After everything he’d done? Everything he’d planned to do.


“It’s okay.”


They both felt the pull; the luring nature of each other’s lips.


Their eyes remained locked on each other, until Buffy’s fluttered closed as her nose brushed his.


Spike audibly sighed when their mouths finally touched in their very first kiss. And it was beautiful.


Buffy hadn’t kissed a man in a year, no matter what her ex-best-friends said, but she had never forgotten what it felt like. She remembered Angel’s kisses as if she had been experiencing them only yesterday. Hard and fast, with tongues duelling and hands wandering.


Spike’s kiss felt nothing like Angel’s.


Spike’s kiss felt like nothing on earth. It felt like heaven; pure, undiluted heaven to be exact.


Despite all names and appearances, it was Spike who was an Angel. Spike.


His lips were like perfectly formed rose-petals. Gentle and soft, but passionate and loving at the same time. His hands were in her hair, caressing her cheeks like she was something precious and rare.


Like she was someone truly worthy.


Worthy in a way she had never been before.


“Spike…” she murmured; her hot breath melting his insides and seeping into his heart.


God, he didn’t deserve her. After everything he’d put her through, he didn’t deserve to have his lips on hers.


“Buffy,” he said, pulling back just slightly to rest his forehead against hers, “Pet, you’re incredible; beautiful and wonderful…”


She pulled back, an odd look in her eyes, “But?”


“No but,” he said, shaking her head. “There is no but. I just want to be sure that you won’t regret letting me kiss you.”


Her eyes had cleared.


“I won’t regret it.”


“But I…”


“Set me free.” She whispered. And she took his hands in hers. “Now… About this deal…”


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A/N: Well, it's certainly been a long time since I've posted an update for this story, but being back at school has proved to be both incredibly time-consuming, and wholly inspiring [damn that combination]. I hope you all enjoyed the latest chapter, and I promise to be faster with the next update.
Now, please please please REVIEW! :] Thank you guys!
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The laws of the school yard



Spike and Buffy walked through the school doors the next morning, hand in hand.


“Are you sure?” Spike asked, and his beautiful blond companion nodded confidently.


He smiled at her, touching the end of her nose affectionately, and then leaning down briefly to kiss her lips.


They were both disturbed by the sound of Drusilla’s shrill giggle of laughter.


Spike pulled away, turning around to look at her. As she stood there with that malicious look in her eyes and that hateful smirk on her face, he was forced to wonder what it was that he ever saw in her.


He turned his eyes back to Buffy; her beautiful eyes looking up to meet his. And he smiled.


She was the one.


“Oh, William…” Drusilla said, dragging his attention back onto her once more. “I see you decided to carry out our plan in private. What unkindness.”


Spike glanced back at Buffy, and saw that she had let a betrayed look mar her beautiful features.


“Plan?” she asked, her hand slipping from his.


Drusilla began to cackle, as other people began to crowd around.


“Oh goodness, how perfect!” the dark haired bitch cried, “Her misery is as beautiful as bloodshed. Spike, my darling, you’ve done a wonderful job.”


People began to giggle.


“No.” Spike said, quickly turning back to face Buffy again. “Pet, look in my eyes. Stay with me.”


Buffy glared at the floor, refusing to meet his gaze.


“You… You’re with her aren’t you?” she asked, causing Drusilla to cackle once more. “Don’t try and hide it Spike. Do you love her? Do you?”


“I do.” Spike said, and Buffy was shocked enough to finally glance up- her expression confused. What was Spike doing?


Drusilla and the others merely laughed harder at her look of bewilderment.


“You love her?” she asked, her tone was betrayed.


This wasn’t the deal. This wasn’t the deal at all! She’d asked Spike to pretend that he’d fallen in love with her. Asked him to reveal in front of everyone that, despite Drusilla’s plan, he had fallen for her, Buffy Anne Summers, and that she wasn’t really a bad person.


She’d asked him to pretend that she was somebody that could be loved.


She felt her eyes fill with tears as realisation hit her.


His plan with Drusilla had never ended. He’d allowed her to believe that it was over. That she wasn’t the horrible person everybody thought she was.


And now, here he stood before her- revealing to everyone around them his true intentions.


Drusilla. He was in love with Drusilla.


Buffy turned on her heel. No. She couldn’t stand to remain there and have herself laughed at and mocked.


He’d promised that he’d let the other’s believe that he had fallen in love with her, when he had really never had any intention of doing so.


In all her life, through everything she had suffered, Buffy had never felt more betrayed.


“Buffy, wait.”


His voice stopped her. The same voice that had filled her with hope and belief just one day ago.


Suddenly the crowd of people didn’t matter. Drusilla didn’t matter.


All that mattered was the fact that she was stronger than all of this. There was a choice hanging above her head: ‘fight or flight’, and she’d been damned if she was going to let them see her running away again.


She turned around, her eyes hard.


“I thought I could trust you.”


She neither heard, nor cared about the mocking laughter rising up around her.


“I thought you cared about me.”


“You’re a foolish little girl.” Drusilla laughed.


Buffy ignored her.


“So she’s beautiful.” Buffy said; her eyes still clashing with Spike’s. “And she’s well-brought up.” Her eyes narrowed to a glare. “What else is there about her that you could possibly love?”


“Her intelligence.” Spike replied, his tone whole-hearted. “Her strength. The beauty she holds inside of her.”


“Internal beauty?” Buffy spat, turning her eyes to Drusilla, “Is your X-ray vision broken?”


Spike shook his head. “She’s beautiful.”


“You’re an idiot.” She said, and her eyes were blurring with tears as she realised that he was serious. He really did love the girl. “But she’s a slut.” She whispered. “She’s not worthy of you Spike.” ‘Why can’t you see me? Why must you always be so blinded by her?’


“She’s not a slut.” He said, and with a start of surprise, Buffy realised that he was walking towards herself. “And she is worthy of me. If anything, I’m not worthy of her.”


The laughter began to die down slightly, as the crowd that stood around them began to realise what they were really witnessing.


Who he was really in love with.


Buffy just stared at him; her heavy-hearted mind acting more slowly than those of the people around her.


“But she’s not a good person.”


“That’s a lie. She’s a wonderful person.”


“But she’ll never love you back.”


“Well that’s up to her.”


He was standing so close to her now that Buffy had to tilt her head back to look at him.


“But I told you about…”


“It doesn’t matter.”


“And you can still love…” Buffy paused, “Her,” she said softly, “After everything I told you.”


Spike touched her cheek, and Buffy flinched; understanding.


“I can try.” He said, quirking an eyebrow.


Silence echoed the halls around them, and the faces of the crowd which had gathered were blank and staring.


“Spike…”


“Buffy…”


They kissed, and not even Drusilla’s twisted out-cry could disturb them.


“You meant it?”


“I mean it.”


The crowd began to turn away. All except for a few wanton faces which watched-on.


“William, this was not the plan. This was not the plan at all.” Drusilla’s voice was shrill, and a constant annoyance to the bleached blond.


“Screw you’re bloody plan,” he said, taking Buffy’s hand and turning to face the brunette. “The only good thing that came from your goddamned plan was the chance it gave me to see Buffy for who she really is.”


“She’s a-”


“An incredible person.” Spike said. Fresh faces gathered to listen. “A wonderful mother. And a beautiful soul.”


People were smiling.


Buffy was smiling.


“I told you to pretend.” She whispered softly into his ear.


“I didn’t need to.” He smiled back at her. “You’re the one- Buffy.”


And never in her whole life had Buffy Summers felt so truly blessed.


“Come on.” Spike said, squeezing her hand. “Lets get out of here.”


………………………………………........


Spike smiled as he watched his girlfriend and mother laughing together as they went back over the gallery’s inventory that evening.


“I can’t believe you bought Harrison a sailor’s hat.” Buffy was giggling, “I’m going to show the photos at his wedding, for sure.”


“Oh Buffy, you’d have done the same!” Joyce laughed, “I saw it sitting in that shop window and I knew it was too adorable to pass up. He looks like a little sea commander with it on.”


“Still, when he’s older he’s never going to live it down!”


Joyce laughed, “Well that’s what Grandmothers are for.” She said. And she knew it was true; it didn’t matter that Spike wasn’t Harrison’s father, because she knew her son well enough to be able to say with absolute certainty, that he would be there for the rest of Buffy’s life, raising the little boy as his own.


“You’re not wrong.” Buffy said, hugging the older woman, “Although you’re far too young to be a Grandmother.”


“Ha!” Joyce Abbot said, “You’re just trying to butter me up Miss Summers, I’ve already given you permission to date my son, so there’s no need to pay me undue compliments.”


Buffy grinned, and she glanced over at Spike, who was still watching with that unveiled happy smile of his.


Joyce followed the direction of Buffy’s gaze, and she too smiled at the look on her happy son’s face.


“Buffy love,” she said, “We’re almost done here, so why don’t you get along home now. I’m sure you’re desperate to get back to that son of yours.”


Buffy smiled, hugging Joyce in thanks, and grabbing her bag from the shelf.


“Lift?” Spike asked, holding up his car keys, and Buffy nodded, though she lived no more than five minutes away from the gallery.


“I’ll see you tomorrow sweetheart.” Joyce said, “Four o’clock sharp.”


Buffy smiled, “Yep.”


Then she took Spike’s hand and let him lead her out to his car.


Six months had passed, and he was still opening her door for her.


She smiled at him.


“Want to grab something to eat before you head home?” he asked, and Buffy’s grin widened.


“You know me too well.”


“You bet I do.”


She closed her eyes, leaning her head against his shoulder as he drove through the darkness of the falling evening.


This was contentment.


This was bliss.


This was her life now.


“I love you.” She whispered.


-end-

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A/N: A huge thank you to everyone who has been with me during the writing of this fic. Every single review has helped me to type just a little bit faster, and feed-back has always been amazing. Being nominated at the Spuffy Awards is an incredible thing for me [and thank you so very much to whoever it was who nominated me- you have no idea how much it means to me!!] It’s been a lot of fun writing this story, and I’m so glad that so many people were able to enjoy it!
Anyway, thank you all again for reading, and please leave a review if you enjoyed it [or even if you didn’t! Ha!]
Lots of Love dee x x x
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