William “Spike” Giles, the up and coming partner of the somewhat crooked law firm Wolfram & Hart was sweating bullets as he sat in his posh leather chair complete with massager in his spacious, with a view of L.A., office.

His stepsister Buffy was coming that day. She was coming to live with him. To ‘get back on her feet’ as she had put it. His darling stepsister that was the complete antithesis of him from the peasant skirts and shirts she wore to the music she listened to, and right down to the way she lived her life. She was a wild child. He was not. He was straight-laced and conformed to the rules. Buffy on the other hand…she walked to the beat of a different drummer. Her own personal drummer that he was sure was selected just for her.

Their parents had met and married quite suddenly when they’d both turned eighteen, so time under the same roof had been minimal. They’d known of each other in high school when they attended Sunnydale High, but they’d never talked. He was part of the chess club; she was part of the drama club. They were like ships passing in the night.

They spent a summer together before he took off to attend college at Harvard and she stayed in California, attending Sunnydale University. He majored in, obviously, law, and she majored in art.

And yet somehow, despite all their differences, Spike had managed to develop a serious crush on his stepsister that summer. An obsessive kind of crush too. He thought perhaps he was in love with her. However, having nothing to base it on in past experiences; he chalked it up to him being wildly fascinated by her.

He hadn’t seen in her in…well, at least three years. Being a junior partner for so long, he found it hard to get away to visit the family. He’d barely even talked to her on the phone and it was saddening really. They had grown close that one summer and now they led their lives and barely spoke.

Okay, so he was sweating bullets for various reasons: One – would he find he still had a crush on her? Two—how would she fit in this fast-paced world of L.A., and Three—what exactly had happened that she needed to get ‘on her feet’? Last he’d heard, she had been teaching art at some private school in Sunnydale, living in an apartment of her own. So, what had happened to her that she felt the need to leave?

Not that he should question the hippie too much on her sudden need to go. She was a free spirit after all. She went where the wind shifted; however, she had seemed rooted in staying in Sunnydale. She’d grown up there, and never seemed to have an inkling to leave.

The phone buzzing jarred him from his ponderings. “Hello?” he said snatching the phone up.

“Your sister is here,” the receptionist said dully.

“Send her up,” he said and felt his heart leap. She was there.

He sat casually, trying to appear calm and then said ‘fuck it’ and got up, striding to the door to greet her. As soon as the door opened, there she was.

His mouth went immediately dry at the loveliness before him. Her long blond hair flowed down past her shoulders in soft waves; she wore a mid-calf flowing pink skirt and a tight white tank with white flip-flops. Her makeup was light and fresh accentuating her mossy green eyes that Spike was sure any man could get lost in.

His blue eyes bore into hers and he felt his heart start to erratically beat within his chest. God, she was beautiful. And so grown up!

“Hey brother,” she greeted him with a glossy pink smile. “How the hell are ya?”

Unable to resist, he swept her up in a fierce hug and then, just as quickly, released her when he got a hold of himself. “Hi,” he breathed.

“Didja miss me?” she asked giggling, entering his office, carrying an army knapsack over her shoulder.

“Yes, of course.”

“Liar. I haven’t seen you in three years and haven’t talked to you in like six months.” She let out a whistle as she perused the room. “Damn. I can see why I haven’t seen you. Call Mom and Dad by the way.”

“Where are the rest of your things?”

“Lorne, the uh, office manager?”

“Right.”

“He’s holding my things in his office.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t have any furniture, obviously. Mom and Dad are holding them at the house. All I have is a few suitcases.”

“We could have sent for them, you know,” he told her relieving her of her knapsack.

“It builds character to travel with that much crap,” she smiled up at him. “So, shall I sit in the corner and be mum while you work? Or are we going?”

He grinned at her. “We can go.”

“Yay!” she said excitedly, clapping her hands. “I can’t wait to see your apartment.”

“Why?”

“Well, this is pretty posh, so I’m thinking your apartment must be even posher.”

“Is that a word?” Spike asked, grinning. “Posher?”

“It is now!” Buffy replied, beaming up at him.

God, he just wanted to…to kiss her! Instead, he took a step back and reopened his door. “Shall we, mi’lady?”

“We shall,” she said graciously and Spike fought the urge to close his eyes when she trailed behind her the scent of raspberries. He forgot how good she smelled all the time.

She’s your sister, okay, stepsister, but still. She’s off limits. Besides, she’s vastly different from you and it would never work. Though the sex would be mind-blowing. Shut the hell up and keep your eyes off her ass, Giles!

“So, Buffy, do you have any idea what you’re going to do for a job?”

She looked over her shoulder at him. “Trying to get rid of me already?”

He smiled at her. “Of course not, luv."

“That’s what I thought,” and she bounced off to Lorne who was standing in the reception area, beaming at her. Seemed his darling stepsister had already made quite an impression. Just wonderful. It’d be like it was in the old days – beating the men off her with a stick.

“What the hell did you pack in these?” Spike grumbled as he helped her carry her suitcases out.

“Rocks,” she told him simply, breezing out the door.

“So funny.”

“I know. Geez Will, I didn’t have this much trouble lugging them over here from Sunnydale.”

“Buffy,” he said opening his car door and setting about tossing the suitcases in, “That’s because you were on a bus over here and no doubt had men helping you. Am I right?”

She looked up and away, humming to herself. Sure sign of guilt. Not that she’d admit it.

He grinned at her. God, she was adorable.

Smiling brightly, she opened the car door and slid in. “So, what’s with the ‘Spike’ thing? Lorne didn’t know who I was talking about at first and then he was calling you ‘Spike.’”

Grinning smugly, Spike slid into the car. “It’s what they call me at the firm. There was a client we had that was impossible to work with. He did everything we told him not to do and was basically shooting himself in the foot. I tore into him one day when he was whining about how we weren’t doing our jobs. Lorne started calling me ‘Spike’, said I reminded him of a rabid dog.”

Buffy laughed, “Is that a good thing?”

“I guess it was that day,” Spike shrugged, “but you can call me whatever you want, luv.”

“So, you need to teach me this driving thing,” she told him as he sped out of the parking lot and onto the freeway.

“Come again?”

“You have to teach me to drive.”

“Who said?”

“Me.”

“No way.”

“Okay, fine then. Mom said so.”

“No, she didn’t.”

“You’re right, it was Dad.”

“No, he didn’t. I explicitly remember Dad saying you were to never go near another car for as long as you lived.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “You have one accident…”

“Buffy, you smashed his car into a tree.”

“It was in the way! I didn’t see it.”

“Pet, it was at the end of our driveway. You lived in that house, with that yard, and that tree for how long?”

She looked at him sidelong, “You suck.”

He chuckled. “Look, I’ll teach you. Only cause I’m not going to have you taking public transportation all the time.”

Buffy giggled. “You sounded like such a snob just then.”

“What?” he asked indignantly.

Making her voice deep, she imitated him. “’I’m not going to have you taking public transportation all the time.’ It’s not so bad.”

“Then why do you want to learn to drive?” he countered.

“Because I’m … how old?”

“Twenty-nine, same as me. And that doesn’t bode well that you can’t even remember how old you are. What if you ‘forget’ where the brake is?”

She slugged him on the arm, and he was loath to admit it actually hurt. “I want to learn how to drive,” she told him, “Because like you said, I’m twenty-nine and it’s time. I can even get one of these!”

He chuckled. “A Mercedes?”

“A car. A regular car. Maybe a Volkswagon bug. The new ones. In yellow.” She sounded positively ecstatic by the prospect.

Spike shook his head, “And that would be why you’re not my blood.”

Buffy laughed and the sound was akin to angels singing in Spike’s opinion.

Pulling into his penthouse parking lot, he shut the car off and turned to her. “Ready?”

She stared wide-eyed at the high-rise building. “Yeah…” she said absently.

Spike chucked her under the chin, making her look at him. The urge to kiss her was overwhelming as he beheld her, staring at him so trustingly and gratefully. “You can say as long as you want, okay?” he said huskily.

“Okay. Thank you.”

“Come on, luv. Time to lug your rocks up.”

********

His penthouse was huge. Buffy was sure it could fit at least two football fields with room to spare. His apartment, much like his office, had a spectacular view of the city. She was drawn to it immediately, and was tickled pink to realize a balcony was attached so that she could walk out and see the view and catch some fresh air while she was at it.

It was furnished sparsely, with dark colors and Buffy could tell he didn’t spend much time in his home. Sad that his life existed around work more than a life. Well, she’d just have to work on that then, wouldn’t she?

Turning, she found him watching her intently. Funny, he’d had that goofy grin on his face since she’d arrived. He must have really missed her. She smiled, taking him in for the first time.

“You’re handsome, you know that?” she told him honestly.

He blushed and she thought, cute.

He pushed his persistently-in-his-face brown locks from his face and rested his blue eyes on her. “No, I’m not.”

She nodded profusely. “Yes, you are. Will, do you have a girlfriend?”

He cleared his throat. “No.”

“Why not?”

“No time.”

“Shame,” she murmured, and meant it. Though the idea of him dating did make her feel somewhat jealous. Even though they hadn’t seen each other in quite a long time, she still liked to think of herself as the only woman in William’s life. And an important one at that. Well, aside from the mother (hers) they shared.

“Do…do you have a boyfriend?”

She shook her head, not wanting to get into that topic. Relationships, especially the ones she engaged in were more than just complicated. They were an utter mess. She didn’t want to sully their reunion by telling him why she’d left Sunnydale to start over in L.A. with him. Best to leave the past in Sunnydale and start her present and future in L.A. With William there to help her. Then once she got the hang of city living, she’d be out there making it on her own.

“You here with me?” he asked her.

“Sort of. I checked out for a bit. I’m starving. You got food in this place?”

He smiled. “Good to see I don’t have to tell you to make yourself at home.”

She started for where she thought the kitchen might be. “Nope. After all, we are family, right? In a sense, I’m already home.”


*********

In the end, Spike opted to take her out for dinner since he had next to nothing in his kitchen for food. Buffy asked him if he ever ate at home and she sounded like such a mother hen that he scolded her for sounding like her mother. She’d stuck her tongue out at him and told him “Fine then. Starve. See if I care.”

The thing he realized about Buffy, her draw as it was, was in how engaging she was. It was the little things, really. One couldn’t help but be drawn in to her thirst for life. Within ten minutes of their arrival at Spike's favorite Italian restaurant, Buffy had chatted up the hostess on her highlights and engaged the waiter in a discussion on Frank Sinatra (it was the background music). She was not afraid to talk to anyone, and her smile and laugh were completely infectious. It made him want to bask in her warmth and vitality for as long as he could. Made him want to slay dragons for her so she’d always have that smile on her lovely face.

After dinner, they’d gone for a walk around the city for a bit, just chatting and catching up. When he asked her why she left Sunnydale, she just said it was time for a change and that was it.

Spike was gathering the impression something had happened back in Sunnydale that had upset her quite a bit. He pondered calling Joyce, his stepmother, to find out why since he had a feeling she knew, but he also didn’t want to overstep his bounds should Buffy find out. The one thing Spike wanted more than anything was Buffy’s trust. She’d always confided in him when she was ready, or at least she had when they were younger and in the same house, so he would wait now for her to do so.

And, Spike couldn’t deny what her presence was doing for him already. He felt lighter, happier, more at peace. He even considered blowing off work to spend the day with her.

When they departed to their bedrooms that evening, Buffy had given him a peck on the cheek and thanked him for letting her stay with him. At that moment, he would have done anything to make her happy and make her kiss him again. Instead, Spike watched her retreat to her bedroom, his cheek tingling from her kiss, and stood there for quite some time after her door had been closed and she was no longer in sight.

Spike got up and got ready for his day at seven. Grumbling the whole way through his routine, he toyed once again with the idea of staying home with Buffy. And why shouldn’t he? She was new in town after all and needed some showing around, right?

Yeah, he highly doubted anyone would sympathize or care at the firm. Dammit.

Padding out into the living room to put his shoes on, he made sure not to wake Buffy up—only to find her asleep on the couch.

Coming over to her like a moth to a flame, he knelt by her and slid the blanket that had apparently fallen on the floor over her lithe form curled up in fetus position. Reaching out, he pushed some hair from her face and smiled down at her.

Her eyes popped open and he stilled, hoping she didn’t think he was watching her like a stalker or something.

“I fell asleep,” she told him groggily.

“What are you doing out here, hmm? I watched you go in your room last night; I didn’t think you mistook the living room as your room.”

Rolling onto her back, Buffy stretched like a cat and Spike drank in her graceful movements, her slender, toned and tanned limbs. His hands itched to touch her. “I started this new thing recently,” she told him.

“And what’s that?” he asked, smiling tenderly when she rolled back to her side and reached out to tuck a stubborn lock back into place.

“I get up at four and I’m up for at least a couple hours before I can get back to sleep. Sometimes I forego sleep altogether and try to paint, and other times, I watch TV until I can fall asleep again.”

“What started that, luv?” he asked, concerned. He’d always remembered Buffy being a hard sleeper.

“Just life,” she said dead-pan.

“Buffy, can you tell me what happened in Sunnydale to make you want to leave? I get the sense there’s something you’re not telling me.”

“I’d really rather not right now, Will. I just want to forget about it.”

“That’s the thing though,” he said, rising to his feet and gazing down at her. “You can’t escape your past. It just follows you.”

“When did you become so wise?” she asked, peering up at him, a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth that belied the sadness he found in her eyes. Something was troubling her and because of that, he was troubled.

He shrugged and looked around his apartment. “I’m not really. I’m just really good at doling out bullshit. I am an attorney after all.”

Buffy giggled and rose from the couch, stretching once more, exposing the flatness of her belly when she lifted her arms above her head. “Are you leaving me now?” she asked, pouting slightly.

He zeroed in right on her protruding lower lip and had to fight the urge to sweep her up in his arms and tug that lip into his mouth and taste her. “Yeah, I am,” he said with great reluctance.

“Can I meet you for lunch at your office? I’ll even pack a picnic basket if you like.”

Digging his hands in his pockets to stop himself from tugging her into his arms, Spike nodded, “I’d like that.”

“Good. Okay, shower now and then job hunt,” she said and leaned up on her tiptoes to give him another peck. “Have a good day.”

“Thanks, you too.” He said tightly, once again, watching her go.

********

When Buffy met him for lunch, she carried said picnic basket as promised that she’d had to go out and purchase and while she was at it, filled it with all sorts of goodies, including a PBJ – his favorite.

She made him sit in the middle of his office, claiming he had more than enough room to spare and could afford to utilize it.

“It might give you a new perspective,” she told him.

“A new perspective?”

“Yeah, you might see things differently if you’re looking at something differently.”

“Kind of like when you move away from home?”

She gave him a look as she handed him a Coke. “You starting that again?”

He held up his hands. “Fine. I’ll wait.”

“Thank you.”

“So, did you find anything?” he asked as he tore into his sandwich voraciously.

“Yes and no.”

“What did you find?”

“I went by some campus and found signs for a nude model—“ she stopped when Spike started to choke. “Are you all right?”

“You’re not doing that,” he told her, red-faced. Grabbing his drink, he took a long sip of it and set it down, finding her giving him a look that meant she was not happy about being told what to do.

“Oh, really?” she challenged.

“Yes, really. You’re not going to go nude in front of a bunch of hormone-driven college kids! No. I put my foot down as your brother.”

“You’re not really my brother.”

He glared at her. “I don’t care. I’m playing that card.”

“You don’t get to when you’re not really my brother.”

“I’ll tell Mom and Dad.”

“Mom knows I’ve done it before.”

That did it. Spike bounded to his feet and yelled at her. “You’ve done it before? How come I never knew about this? When?”

“When I was in college,” she shrugged, indifferent to his shouting. “Why should I have told you? There was no need to broadcast it.”

“Jesus Christ, Buffy! You went nude in front of a classroom of kids and you didn’t feel the need to broadcast it?”

“What would you have done if I told you?” she asked him.

“I would have went with you--”

Her eyes widened.

“—To protect you!” he exclaimed. “No,” he shook his head. “No. Not while you’re living under my roof are you doing that.”

Buffy jumped up, face-flushed eyes flashing. “What are you? My father? I have one already, remember? Yours.”

“I don’t care!”

“God, what is the big deal, William? It’s art!”

“No, it’s you naked in front of—“

“It’s for art.”

“I don’t give a rat’s ass if it’s to stop the war in Iraq. You’re. Not. Doing. It.”

Buffy narrowed her eyes at him and got right in his face, so close he could feel her body heat. “When did you get so narrow-minded?”

“This morning I was wise,” he countered through clenched teeth.

“It pays quite well.”

“I don’t care if it pays 10K.”

“It is my body.”

The phone ringing jarred them out of their verbal war and Spike stalked to the phone snatching it up and barking “Hello?”

“Everything all right in there? Need a ref or something?” Lorne asked.

Spike took a deep breath. “We’re fine, thanks Lorne.” When he looked over at Buffy, she was already packing up. “Buffy, don’t go, please.”

“Why should I stay, huh? You just made me feel like…trash.”

Coming over to her, he grabbed her wrists, stopping her from packing up. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel like that—“

“I never thought of it as something bad, William. I just thought of it as …art.”

“Buffy,” he turned her, making her look at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel like trash, I just…you’re…”

“I know Will,” she said softly.

He stared at her, imploringly. “Do you?”

”Yeah, I do.” She threw her arms around him, hugging him tight and he held onto her.

“I’m sorry, I really am. Just…please…” he begged.

“I won’t do it,” she told him. “Will?”

”Yeah, pet?”

She held him tighter. “I think I’m ready to tell you why I left Sunnydale.”

Spike pulled back slightly, regarding her with some concern, but mostly curiosity. “You sure?”

“I am,” she said nervously, trying to sound resolute.

“Okay, what is it then?”

“Just like that?”

“Well, you said you’d tell me, so yeah, that’s it.”

Wrapping her arms back round him tight, Buffy rested her chin on his shoulder. “I had an affair with a fellow teacher at that private school I taught at. It turned out he was married, but I didn’t know he was at first until I told him there was a chance I could be pregnant."

Spike's hold on her grew tighter as he tensed, his heart constricting in his chest as he braced himself for what else she would disclose. As if learning she could have been pregnant with another man’s baby wasn’t bad enough – not that he had any claim on her, of course.

"He freaked when I told him and that's when he told me he was married. He told me if I was I'd have to get rid of it. I, of course, was not going to do any such thing, but my world shattered at that point...I mean, I really did love him."

"What happened then, Buffy?" Spike prompted.

"I wasn't pregnant as it turned out, but then someone found out about us on the staff and when everyone found out about us, I was basically blackballed from the school. And then, the town."

"And he wasn't?"

"No, he wasn't. I had to leave. I was pretty much asked to leave. How I managed to miss that he was married...I guess he wasn't very happy, but that is no excuse!"

"No, it's not."

"He came to me before I left; on the day I left the school and actually had the nerve to tell me I inspired him to go work things out with his wife."

"That fucking bastard," Spike muttered. "Who is he? What's his name? I'm going to single-handedly destroy him--"

"Will, you can't," she said pulling back from him. She looked up at him imploringly. "Do you hate me?"

"How can you ask me something like that?" Spike asked incredulously. Tucking some hair behind her ear, he smiled tenderly. "I could never hate you, luv. How could you think I would?"

"’Cause I was so freaking stupid!"

"Buffy, baby, it happens. He never wore a ring?"

"No, never. And no one talked about it. It was all hush-hush I guess. All on account he had 'problems' in his marriage."

"Then how can you be held accountable for something like that?"

Sighing, Buffy plunked herself down on the floor. "I don't know. I just feel like I make one bad decision after another. Before him there was the musician that spent late nights with the lead vocals in his band...and I stupidly never put two and two together. I really thought they were just rehearsing! Then before him, there was--"

The last thing Spike wanted was to hear about the string of men Buffy had left behind. It made him want to track them down and pummel them within an inch of their lives for ever hurting her. Not to mention the incredible jealousy he felt at the idea of those men touching her, loving her, having a piece of her. A piece he'd never had. A piece he could never have.

"So, I left. Figured since I was pretty much booed out of town, I might as well go someplace new," Buffy continued on. "So here I am."

"Do you still love him?" Spike asked, his stomach clenching at the thought.

"No, Will, I don't still love him,” she said honestly, looking up at him. “Someone telling you that if you're pregnant they want you to get rid of it pretty much puts the kibosh on any feelings of love. Oh, and finding out your entire relationship was built on lies..."

"What's his name?"

Buffy grinned up at him, "I'm not telling you that."

He grinned back, "Don't trust me?"

"Nope!"

He chuckled and sat down across from her. "Buffy, everyone gets put in a situation like that at one time or another. It's not your fault luv."

"I just want to get my head on straight, Will. No more fooling around and just flying by the seat of my pants. I want to be more...straight-laced. Like you."

Spike frowned, "I think you meant to compliment me, but it didn't feel like one."

"Why not? I did mean to."

"Because here I am trying to be more like you; footloose and fancy-free."

Buffy grimaced, "Being footloose and fancy free isn't all its cracked up to be, Will. People pretty much think I'm a moron. And the choices I make because I fancy myself 'in love' with any guy that seems sincere when it's really just a line...Yeah, being like me is not what it seems."

"Being straight laced isn’t either, you know," Spike told her matter-of-factly, "Everyone thinks I'm boring or a tight ass--"

"Well, you are a tight ass."

He gave her a look and she burst into giggles. “But,” she amended, “I don’t think you’re boring. Far from it.”

"Gee, thanks. All I do is work, Buffy. I don't go out, I don't skip days, I don't do anything that isn't work related."

"Oooh that does sound awful."

"Yeah, it really is,” he said wistfully. “I hadn’t realized how incredibly boring my life was until you came yesterday.”

“Wow. My powers are vast. I mean, I really did just come in yesterday afternoon. Damn, I’m good. Maybe I’m in the wrong line of work. Maybe I should look into motivational speaking or something. Ooh! A life coach.”

Spike laughed. “You are something else, pet.”

She grinned, “I like it when you call me that. Though I’m sure you call every female that.”

“No, honey, just you.”

“Ri-ight. I may have been dumb about a lot, but I’m learning. And that, my dear brother, sounded like a line.”

The word ‘brother’ put a damper on their bantering – at least for Spike – and he cleared his throat and stood. He shouldn’t have been flirting with his sister and that was what he most definitely was doing.

“I have an idea,” she said, not missing a beat, not even noticing the way he was beating himself up for flirting with forbidden fruit.

“What’s that?” he asked, starting to clean up the picnic. It was time to get back to work. Time to immerse himself in something that was not Buffy. In just twenty-four hours he’d somehow managed to become completely submerged in her. How did she do that? She did have power, it seemed. And she really didn’t know how much power she had. . .

She jumped up, beaming. “Can’t tell you. It’s a surprise.”

“Buffy, you know I hate surprises,” he said, hating how that came out whiny.

“I know, and that’s why I’m going to make it one. Maybe you’ll learn to appreciate them. Can I take you out tonight, or do you have something work-related going on?”

He found her beaming at him infectious. “You can take me out.”

“Good, good. Dress casual.”

“Buffy, you’re gonna see me before we go. We do live together.”

“Right, I know, but I’m just giving you a heads up. I know how you straight-laced types like to be somewhat prepared.”

“Okay, casual,” Spike clarified, chuckling. “So, jeans then?”

“Yes! And a t-shirt. Wear blue. Brings out your eyes.”

“Anything else, miss?”

“I think that covers it.” Grabbing the now packaged up picnic basket; she leaned up and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Don’t work too hard.” And with that she was off.

“Bye luv,” he murmured to her retreating form, unable to stop himself from going to the window and watching her head down the sidewalk, basket in hand and swinging away.

William had no idea what to expect in regards to Buffy’s “surprise” for him. He was more than a little concerned about it and considered bailing on her, but the excited look on her face when he came home had him changing his mind about that in a heartbeat. How could he deny her anything when she was so excited?

“I changed my mind about the clothes. I picked something else out,” she told him animatedly as soon as he shut the door.

“You went through my things?”

“Oh, just the closet. I laid the ensemble out for you.”

William grinned, “What are you, mom now?”

“Perish the thought! Go, go, go get ready. I am just going to slip on what I’m wearing and we’re good to go,” she said ushering him with her hands to get going.

He had to laugh. She could be quite a bossy thing when she wanted to be. “Do we get to eat at all Miss Summers?” he asked, looking at her over his shoulder.

“Yep. The deli down the street.”

“That it?”

“You a growing boy still?” she teased.

He grinned mischievously, “A man has needs you know.”

“Well, maybe we can see about tending to some of those needs where we’re going,” she said and headed off into her room, shutting the door.

William broke out into a cold sweat and his entire body lurched with anticipation at her words. If she wanted, she could tend very well to his needs.

Pressing the heel of his palm to his forehead, William wondered what the hell he was doing. He was really in the thick of it now, wasn’t he? He’d thought he was over this, he thought all that time away from her had cooled that little crush he had on her. Seemed all it took was just one look at her and all those feelings came rushing back.

And let’s face it. It wasn’t a crush. This was more than a crush. Goddammit, he was in love with her. Helplessly, completely, head over heels in love with her. It was the same as before, time and age told him that much. He’d been in love with her the entire time and it made sense really. How he always had a penchant for blondes, how he seemed unable to commit to anything serious with one woman, and his job not being that much of a factor in all that. It was Buffy. Always Buffy. God, it was so aggravating! William wasn’t sure who to focus that frustration onto, him or her.

Pondering how he was going to kindly get her going on finding a job and getting out of his apartment as some much needed distance was imperative here, William started to get ready. Buffy had laid out a pair of navy slacks and a blue button down for him. He had to smile; she always said she loved his baby blues. And because of that he had an assortment of blue shirts in various shades. Seemed it was all about Buffy, wasn’t it?

Putting on some cologne – also her favorite—he stepped out into the living room and found her applying lipstick in the mirror on the wall. He stopped abruptly upon seeing her. God, she was gorgeous. She’d slipped on a loose fitting black spaghetti strapped dress that contrasted perfectly to her tanned skin. She wore strappy sandals to complete the ensemble. When she turned to him, she smiled brilliantly. “You look so handsome!” she gushed.

“And you,” he breathed, unable to take his eyes off her, “Look gorgeous.”

She waved her hand at him, dismissing the compliment.

“No, Buffy, you do,” he said adamantly, resisting the urge to sweep her up in his arms and carry her to his bed. Oh what he wouldn’t give to have her in his bed, making love to her, hearing her breathy moans, having her look up at him with those beautiful green eyes and knowing it was him that made her come undone.

“Thank you,” she smiled and slipped her lipstick in her black purse. “Ready?”

“Sure.” Not really

********

She took him to some underground club that she had heard about when she was living in Sunnydale, and had even visited once. William pouted that she had never bothered to visit him, but she informed him that she had been with someone at the time and he’d surprised her by taking her to the club.

It was Salsa dancing and as soon as William saw the writhing bodies on the dance floor, the men and women with their hands all over each other, William knew that they could not do this, or at least he could not do this. She’d know of his feelings the minute she put her hands on him.

“Buffy, I don’t know about this,” he told her hesitantly, staring at a young couple, the man having his hands firmly on his girl’s hips as she gyrated against him. The woman was looking up at him with a small smile, and her eyes spoke of encouragement and lust. God, William wanted that to be him and Buffy in the worst possible way and yet he feared it.

“Come on, I know just who you can talk to.”

“What?” he asked, startled, as she took his hand and they wove through the crowd.

“Alysha!” Buffy called and waved to a buxom brunette with dark skin and exotic eyes. She was quite beautiful in her red v-neck dress, but William didn’t want her and he hoped that Buffy wasn’t playing Emma.

The woman named Alysha gave Buffy a hug, smiling broadly and welcoming her back.

“I want you to meet William,” Buffy told her. “He’s my—“

“Friend,” William jumped in, not wanting anyone to know that they were related by marriage. “I’m her friend.”

Buffy nodded, asking him with her eyes why he did that and he just shot her a look that said ‘Trust me.’

“Any friend of Buffy’s is a friend of mine. What can I do for you?”

“Can you teach him how to dance?” Buffy asked sweetly.

Alysha gave him a once over and grinned. “No problem.”

Buffy giggled as Alysha took his hand and started to lead him off. He didn’t want to go with the woman! He wanted to stay with Buffy. Looking over his shoulder he found that she’d already attracted an admirer in the form of what appeared to be a tall, dark and handsome Latino gentleman. William’s blood boiled, but he didn’t have time to think as he was shoved up against Alysha’s well-toned body, her hips moving against him in a thoroughly erotic nature.

This was going to be a long night.

********

He’d lost sight of Buffy during Alysha’s instructions and when he nearly begged to get a drink, he was granted a reprieve. He was left with little doubt that Alysha was coming onto him, dancing aside. At least, she’d said as much anyway.

Weaving through the crowd, he scanned frantically for Buffy and when he found her, he felt a jealous rage come over him. She was writhing on the dance floor, laughing and smiling up at the Latino gentleman who had his hands all over her.

The primal male in him said Mine! and he lunged after her.

She saw him before he had a chance to get to her and she disengaged with the man she was dancing with and went to him.

“Having fun?” she asked. “Isn’t Alysha brilliant? She’s a great—“

“Who the hell is that?” William asked, jerking his thumb at the man that was heading toward the bar.

“Um, I think Rico… So, were you having –“

“What does he want with you?” William demanded, pulling her from the crowd and out into the hallway, dragging her down until they had some privacy.

“What do you mean what does he want with me?”

“His hands were all over you!”

“We were dancing!”

“You were practically fornicating on the dance floor!”

“William—“

He shook his head. “I can’t take it anymore, Buffy. I just can’t.”

“What are you—?”

But she never got to finish that sentence because William’s lips came smashing down on hers, yanking her body against his and engaging her in a passionate kiss to end all passionate kisses.

He moaned in rapture, finally able to taste her and feel her soft lips against his. She tasted of honey and . . . liquor. Had that bastard bought her a drink? William kissed her harder, and pushed her against the wall.

She pulled back a fraction, gasping his name and he used the opportunity to pepper her jaw with kisses, trailing down her long, lovely neck. Sliding his hands down and around her back, he pulled her flush up against him, letting her feel his burgeoning erection. She moaned, clutching at him, her nails digging into his shoulders, but he paid no heed. He didn’t care. He wanted her and he was going to have her that was the only thought circling his mind.

Pulling back slightly, he pushed her to a door that was just inches from them and thankfully it opened when he pushed. Taking her inside, he attacked her with kisses, nipping at her lips, sucking her bottom lip in his mouth the way he’d wanted to when she’d pouted at him the day before.

His hands traveled the length of her body, feeling her curves under them. Pushing the hem of her dress up, he circled round her navel with a finger and then down her thigh.

“William,” she moaned and, encouraged, he slid his hand inside her thong, pushing it aside and dipping a finger inside her slowly.

Christ, she was hot and wet.

“This for me?” he asked huskily, flicking her clit with this thumb lazily, back and forth, back and forth….knowing by look in her eyes that he was driving her insane with need. “Tell me you’re wet for me and not for him. Tell me,” he demanded.

”Yes…William…yes,” she murmured, her head falling back against the wall.

“Say it, say it’s for me.”

“For you, William, for you!”

He withdrew his hand and she cried out in frustration.

“Don’t worry luv, I know exactly what you need,” he told her huskily while he undid his pants, and yanked down his boxers. Pulling her against him once more, he pushed down her thong and pushed his way inside her, feeling the urge to cum immediately after being inside her for just a second.

“Oh God,” she whimpered.

“Oh, yes,” he hissed and slowly pumped with in her. She was scorching him with her heat, her juices coating his cock, her breathy gasps encouraging him.

“Oh, William…” she murmured, her head lolling back.

God, this was heaven. Her moaning his name…the feel of her slick walls sucking him in, so wet, so tight and so hot…this was bliss.

“Harder, Will, please,” she murmured.

Thrusting into her harder, he buried his face in her neck and nipped at her, feeling the urge to mark her, claim her as his.

He was pounding into her now and she was clawing her nails down his back, spurring him on with her touch and her moans.

Reaching between them, while propped up on one arm, William flicked her clit-- just once—and she screamed. His name. She screamed his name and that was all it took for William to cum, bathing her cervix with his seed.

He held onto her, pumping slowly and gently inside her as they rode their climaxes out, his head buried in her neck. His mind was clear except for the heavenly bliss of having Buffy in his arms and of being inside her. It was like coming home.

He felt it then. A change in her. She tensed all over. Pulling back, he found her eyes wide and filled with wonder and regret.

“Buffy—“

She pushed at him, yanking up her thong and righting her dress.

“Buffy, pet--”

But she ran from him. He started to go after her, and nearly fell over since his pants and boxers were halfway down his legs.

“Buffy!” he shouted as he yanked them up, buttoning his pants. Stumbling into the hallway, he found her already gone. Racing down and into the club, he searched high and low, asking around.

She’d left.

He swore, running a hand through his tousled locks. She didn’t know anyone but him in the city! Where could she have gone…where was she going to go?

What the freaking hell had she just done?

Staring up at the club across the street as she stood, slightly shivering with William’s cum draining out of her and staining her thong, she thought Oh yeah, I just fucked my brother. Promptly, she shuddered at the thought, and the memory…

Oh God, had it been mind-blowing. And oh God how she’d wanted him. Truth be told, when she saw William with Alysha’s hands all over him, she’d felt the green eyed monster rear its ugly head. And here she’d thought it would have been such a fantastic idea And in her mind, it had been at the time. She really didn’t think it’d bother her much. She thought maybe she’d shake off some of that damn hero-worship she’d been doing since she arrived back in William’s life.

He never knew really how she looked up to him. Admired him. He was so…focused. Successful. Not that she wasn’t in her own way, but now look at her. She was a mess. A complete and utter mess. She had no job, no apartment of her own, no friends in L.A., no fucking life. No wonder she’d latched onto William. He had it all together, always had. Knew what he wanted and went after it. She knew what she wanted until something else grabbed her attention and then she thought she wanted that until something else came along and grabbed her attention….

It was a wonder really that she’d managed to finish school and get a job. That she’d then promptly lost because oh yes, she fucked a married man. William granted her pardon because she didn’t know he was married, but in Buffy’s mind, she couldn’t grant herself that pardon. Not much anyway. It sounded so seedy to her I had an affair with a married man…but I didn’t know he was married! Okay, maybe not so much seedy as just downright stupid.

But, that was her all over wasn’t it? One terrible choice after another. No wonder her mother had been so disappointed in her – why shouldn’t she have been? She was a colossal screw up. And now, to make matters worse, just when she’d thought she was on the straight and narrow, with William as her guide, she’d gone and fucked him. She’d gone and had sex with her brother. Okay, stepbrother, but still! Against a wall in a club. How romantic. How sweet. How disgusting.

Her phone ringing in her purse jarred her from her thoughts and she reached in to answer it. It was William of course. Who else would call someone as fucked up as she was except for him? How was it that when he looked at her he saw someone wonderful? He’d made her feel like a Queen in the two short days she’d been with him – was it two? One? She wasn’t sure anymore. All Buffy knew was that she didn’t want to talk to him. Couldn’t really. Chewing her bottom lip, Buffy weighed her options. Well, she could always get a room for the night and use her credit card. She still had pretty good credit on that at least. Yes, that’s what she was going to do. Get a room for the night and think…plan. Plan how she was going to get out of this mess.

**********

William was going mad. Completely and utterly mad. After he’d tried to call her and she hadn’t answered, he thought maybe she left her phone at home. So, he’d gone home, hoping against hope that she was there. She wasn’t. So, he’d gone out, driving up, down and around the city going as far and as wide as he could hoping to catch a glimpse of her.

She was nowhere to be found and he hated to admit it, but he was near tears. What had happened, they could figure it out, but first, he just wanted her safe.

Burying his face in his hands, William prayed to whatever power would listen that Buffy was all right and that she’d come waltzing through the door at any minute.

Then his phone rang.

Lunging for it, he opened it quickly. “Buffy?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” Never had her voice filled him with such relief.

“Buffy, where are you?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Why the hell not?” he demanded, his voice rising.

“You know why,” she whispered.

“Buffy, please, come home. Just come back here. We don’t have to talk tonight; we don’t have to do anything--”

“Hasn’t it already kind of been done? I kind of really don’t want to have the postmortem on this one.”

“You know we…okay, we don’t have to. At least not tonight--”

“Try not ever, William!”

“Fine, then, not ever.” Lie, lie, lie!

“You’re lying.”

How did she do that?

“Buffy, I’m going out of my mind with worry here--”

“I’m in a hotel, I’m fine.”

“Where?”

“Yeah, cause that’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna tell you,” she said sarcastically.

“Fair enough.”

“I know you must think I’m pretty easy--”

“I don’t think that at all!” he shouted.

“How could you not? Okay, you know what? The postmortem starts here and I just . . . can’t.”

“Buffy, I am begging you to come home.”

“No,” and she hung up.

Resisting the urge to fling his phone against the wall, William let out a cry of frustration. He’d fucked it all up now, hadn’t he? What happened to all that will power? What happened to his firm stance that he was most definitely not going to live out his fantasies and make love to her and just. . . .Love her. Was he really so under it that he found he couldn’t control himself at all?

Yes. Quite simply, yes.

And what was she thinking? Was she thinking it was her fault? Did she hate him? He just wanted to talk to her, work it out…God, what if he lost her? What if she walked out of his life and he never got the chance to try? What if she hated him? What would he do? How could he live without her now? He’d tasted her, felt the warmth of her embrace, felt . . . something that he so desperately wanted to be love coming from her and God; she was so far away from him now.

Hadn’t she just told him that afternoon that she felt like a screw up? That she was trying to get her feet planted on the ground and make the right choices? Buffy no doubt felt this was a wrong choice… and wasn’t it?

How did something that was supposed to be so wrong, feel so right?

So, Giles, how are you going to fix this one?

Tapping a pen against a piece of paper on the hotel table, it made a slight crinkling sound, which sounded a bit funny to Buffy, but . . . Man, she was bored.

Staring down at the piece of paper, she studied the list she’d been making.

1. Ask Mom and Dad for a loan
2. Get an apartment
3. Get a job
4. Make friends
5. Stay away from men
6. Stay away from William

Buffy frowned. Okay, so it seemed a bit out of order. Number One shouldn’t even be there. She needed to get a job first before an apartment. But . . . she was afraid to see William. She was afraid to live with William.

However, she couldn’t very well spend any more time in this hotel. It’d been two days already and she knew if she wanted to not max out her card, she had to go. Buffy was hoping though that maybe if she asked for a loan to get an apartment then she could just move out all quiet and quick like.

She stared at her phone. It was dying and the adaptor was at William’s. Everything apparently was at William’s. Even her self-respect. Or did she have that still? Hiding out in a seedy hotel wasn’t exactly showcasing that she had any of that left. And, well, having sex with William against the wall hadn’t been exactly saying “I have self-respect!” either.

A knock on the door jarred her from her musings and she stared at it. “Yeah?”

“Towels.”

She wrinkled her nose. She wasn’t really welcoming seeing anyone, but best to just get it over with, right?

Getting up with a reluctant sigh, she opened the door and found not a member of the hotel staff, but William.

“Wh-what are—what are you doing here? How did you find me?” she asked, stunned.

“I have my ways.”

She stared at him, shell shocked at seeing him standing before her.

“Can I come in?” he prompted.

She snapped out of her daze and glared at him defiantly, “No.”

“Too bad,” he said simply, and pushed his way past her. “Sorry luv, you’re not calling the shots right now.”

“I think I am calling the shots--”

“Not when I haven’t heard from you in two days!” he shouted. “I get to call the shots now, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that,” she said angrily stalking past him.

He grabbed her arm, hauling her to him. “We’re going to work this out, do you understand me?”

“No, we’re not going to work this out. You don’t tell me what to do..”

“I will when you’re being thick-headed and impossible!”

“Like you’re not ever--”

“Who’s the one that ran away, Buffy? Who’s the one in a hotel?”

She yanked her arm free, saying nothing.

Something caught his eye and his neck craned to the side. Strolling over to the table, he picked up her paper with the list and Buffy lunged to grab it.

“’Stay away from William’,” he read. He looked down at her, hurt and anger evident in his eyes. “That what you’ve been planning to do?”

“Isn’t that obvious? I am staying in a hotel after all,” she said sardonically. She sat down on the bed, pouting. Okay, so she was acting like a child. She didn’t care. She was mad that he’d found her. Mad that he forced his way in…Mad that she still wanted him.

She was pouting like a petulant child, Spike observed. He remembered all too well how Buffy had used that to her advantage before to get what she wanted. She’d had his father wrapped, and now it seemed she had him wrapped as well.

Strong, Giles, stay strong.

Looking down at her, he fought the urge to shake some sense into her. She really had no idea what she’d put him through had she?

“You really have no idea what you’ve put me through, have you?” he demanded, deciding to put voice to his frustration.

Her head jerked up at him, regarding him silently.

“I have been out of my mind with worry. Wondering where you are, if you’re all right, what you’re doing…Out of my mind, Buffy. I call and you don’t answer. Christ, you trying to put me in an early grave?”

Still, she said nothing.

“You don’t want to have the postmortem, then fine. We’ll sweep it under the rug all quiet-like and forget about it. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you shut me out though. I’ll be damned if you’re going to stay in this rat infested hotel, either.”

“Well, not so much rat infested as it is cockroach infested…” Buffy said softly.

His expression darkened. “Not helping.”

“Right.”

“You want to leave my place, fine. I get that. But you’re going to get a job and then you’re going to save for a place. You are not staying at a hotel. And you are not shutting me out, you get that? For one thing, that’s impossible and for another it’s just…ridiculous. You want to change your life? Then stop running.”

“I’m not!” she jumped up, glaring at him. Poking him in the chest, she addressed him indignantly. “I am not a child, William--”

“Hiding out in here, you’re certainly acting like one,” he countered. “Get your things, Buffy or I’ll get them for you.”

She was seething in anger as she packed up her things, but he didn’t care. Damn if it didn’t actually turn him on to see the fire flashing in her eyes. He of course was not going to tell her that. He’d done well restraining himself from gathering her up in his arms and smothering her in relived kisses when he saw her, hadn’t he? One small step…

She stomped out of the room, leaving him standing there, staring after her.

“You coming or not?” she demanded, a hand on her hip.

He fought the urge to grin at his little spitfire – no, not his. Hell, yeah she is. She is mine.

********

Buffy didn’t talk to him the whole way home, instead she stared sullenly out the window, her head turned from him the whole way.

That was fine, Spike wagered. She could do that. But at least she’d be doing it where he could keep an eye on her and know that she was all right.

When they arrived at his penthouse, Buffy stormed out of his car and went ahead of him to get inside. My but she was a stubborn bitch when she put her mind to it. He wanted to tell her that she was being a child, that he wasn’t so much sorry for what happened anymore, but instead sorry for how it happened, he wanted to tell her that he was working on getting past the ‘You’re my sister’ thoughts. It wasn’t exactly taboo. There was no blood between them. At least, that’s what he tried to tell himself when he felt guilt take over. For all intents and purposes, they were really strangers in a sense. The most time he’d spent with her was that summer before they went their separate ways. Course, it didn’t help when his father would call and ask how his sister was doing – as he had done while Buffy had decided to shack up away from him for a couple days. It also didn’t help that they both called their stepparents “Mom and Dad”, indicating that it was their biological parents. It was these little things that served to subconsciously enforce the fact that they were really related.

But, they weren’t. And logically, William knew that.

He decided he was going to give her some time to collect herself and her thoughts and then he’d talk to her about it. Tell her what it meant to him; find someway to tell her that he loved her. And of course tell her that what she deserved was not a romp in a dirty hallway, but to be loved in a bed. That, he thought, was what disturbed him at that point more than anything. How had taking her against a wall showed her that he loved her more than anything in the world? That had only told her she was only good for rutting animalistically against a dirty wall in a strange club. He could understand being adventurous later on, but only after they had a firm base first.

Entering his penthouse, Spike jumped when he heard Buffy’s door slam, effectively sending the message he was to leave her alone.

Going to her door, he rapped on it, and knowing she wasn’t going to answer, said through the wood, “Call Mom. She tried to get a hold of you and couldn’t. She thinks you’re avoiding her.”

No answer, no acknowledgement.

Spikesighed heavily. This was going to be a hell of a ride.

Buffy was well aware that she was acting like a child by ignoring him and snapping at him when she had to talk to him, but she didn’t care. If he was going to treat her like a child, then she was goddamn going to act like a child.

In emphasis, she stuck her tongue out at the door and the flopped back on her bed with a disgruntled sigh. Of course the fact that she had acted like a child first didn’t bother to cross her mind. Okay, it had, but she’d quickly ignored it and shrugged it off. Sense had no place in her thought process at present. Her plan had been foiled and she was stung from that.

All right, so maybe it wasn’t the best plan she’d ever come up with. She’d taken one variable out of that precarious situation: William. Did she really think he was going to just let her go? Did she really think she’d be able to get away with that whole plan for very long? And, yes, maybe she did “run away”. And yes, maybe avoiding his calls and avoiding seeing him hadn’t exactly been “mature” either. But hey, that was her. That’s what she did. She was the Queen of Denial and Avoidance. If she wanted to high tail it out there when things got a little too sticky then it was her prerogative to do so. Avoid and Ignore until Problem went away. That was her motto. It was apparently not William’s. Maybe she needed to teach him a bit of that.

“Are you hungry?” he asked through her door.

Sitting up, she glared at the door.

“You know, you’re being a child right now,” he said again.

“I’m aware, thank you!” she retorted.

“Oh well, at least you answered. I was wondering how long I was going to get the silent treatment for.”

“Watch it or it could be a lot longer.”

“But you’re still talking.”

Storming to the door, she flung it open. “You know, I’m really glad that I didn’t have to grow up with you. If I did, I think I might have found a way to get rid of you.”

William smirked, “Was that a threat, Buffy?”

Regarding him thoughtfully, she asked, “Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Immensely.”

“You like seeing me angry?”

He nodded, “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Why?”

“Cause it’s kind of cute,” he told with a slight chuckle, smiling at her smugly.

Crossing her arms across her chest she regarded him huffily, “Anyone ever tell you what a smug bastard you can be?”

William laughed. “All the time, Princess.”

Raising a brow she said, “Princess? That’s a new one.”

“Well, you’re acting like one right now.”

“Somehow I don’t think you mean that in the good way.”

“Take it as you like.”

“I’ll take it in the bad way.”

He shrugged, “Your problem, not mine. See, I was going to let you sit in there and stew for a while. I was going to just give you some time to get over being a child, but I decided there wasn’t any fun in that. I much rather have you yelling at me than giving me the silent treatment.”

“You’re sick.”

“Pretty much, yeah. So, are you hungry?”

“No.” And then as if on cue her stomach growled.

He grinned, “I think you are.”

“How did you find me?”

“I have eyes and ears all over, Buffy. Part of the perk, and the curse, of working at Wolfram and Hart.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she told him abruptly.

He blinked. “About…how I found you?”

“No. The other thing.”

He sighed, running a hand through his locks. “I know.”

“I just want to forget it happened.”

“Can you do that?”

“I want to try.”

“Why?”

She gave him a look that clearly meant she thought he was crazy. “What do you mean ‘why’? You know why.”

“Pretend I don’t and explain it to me.”

“Cause it was wrong!”

“How was it wrong?”

“Are you being serious right now?” she asked incredulously.

He had to chuckle at that. “Yes, Buffy, I am being serious right now.”

“You promised me no postmortem”

“Well, I’m an attorney and I lie for a living so why don’t you go ahead and tell me.”

“How bout I don’t?”

All right. He had to stop now. If he pushed too hard, she’d close down. So much for being patient on waiting and hashing it out. His need to know of her reasoning suddenly became the most important piece of information he could ever have, and the fact that she was finally at least talking to him, gave him some kind of hope. Some, but not a lot.

He held up his hands in surrender. “All right. I’m backing off.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll ask again: Are you hungry?”

Heaving a cleansing sigh, she nodded. “Yes.”

“Would you like some pasta?”

“You’re gonna make it?” she asked, surprised, pointing at him.

He smiled. “Yes, I was going to. That okay?”

A smile was tugging at the corner of her mouth, and William could see she was struggling not to give into it. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Do you want to help?”

“Yeah,” she said, breezing past him. “I think I’ll open a bottle of wine. I could so use some wine.”

********

Looking over at her, William found Buffy fast asleep on the couch. They’d had dinner, which was quiet and a bit strained, and then she’d flicked on the TV and curled up on the couch to watch some comedy and William joined her. Unless it had to do with the program they were watching, she said not a word to him.

He told himself over and over that it would take time, but that things would be okay. He repeated it like a constant mantra in his head, willing himself to really feel that things would be okay.

He smiled tenderly as he watched her slumbering next to him, her head on the arm rest. She looked just so peaceful; as if the day’s stresses hadn’t happened – as if ‘that night’ hadn’t happened.

If he had the chance to do it all over again, he would have taken her home and told her that he loved her and then let her decide what she wanted to do with the information. He was gathering that she didn’t have a lot of say in her past relationships and he wanted to give her that. If he gave her the chance to make some choices and take the lead now and again, it would probably make for a happier and more centered Buffy. That was of course barring her decision to avoid him and hide from him. If there was one thing William knew with complete certainty, it was that now that Buffy had swept back in his life, she was not going to leave it again. He could simply not abide that. He’d whither away if that happened.

Standing, he came over to her and tapped her gently. “Princess Buffy,” he murmured huskily.

“Mmmm,” she moaned and stirred.

“Come on, Princess, let me get you here,” he urged gently and pulled her to him carefully.

Her mossy green eyes opened and his heart constricted in his chest. My, but she was beautiful, so open and bare for him in that moment. Instinctively, she held up her arms and he swept her up into his own. Her head fell onto his shoulder and she promptly shut her eyes again as he carried her to her bedroom.

Despite how she was not pleased with him, the fundamental part of her trusted him and willingly put her well-being in his hands. That fact filled William with the utmost pride and encouraged him further to do right by her.

Laying her gently on the bed, he pulled the covers up and around her. Immediately, she curled over on her side and William knelt by her on the plush carpet, moving some hair from her face almost reverently. “I love you, Buffy,” he said softly, kissing her forehead.

Letting out a little sigh, Buffy murmured back to him, “I love you too,” and then rolled over away from him, falling into a deep slumber.

William wasn’t sure how long he stared at her sleeping form, and she was now snoring softly, it could have been ten minutes, and it could have been an hour. She’d said the words though, “I love you too” – and that was all he could focus on.

Had she meant them? Or was it just reflex to say them? I mean, you’re tired, someone says “I love you” you say it back…right? So it didn’t mean she said them because she meant them. . . right?

But what if she did? What if she meant them? Well, it wasn’t like he could ask her now could he? She was fast asleep and he knew better than to wake her. She was a bear when woken up. She’d kick his ass for sure. And what would he say? ‘Uh, Buffy, I said I loved you and you said it back…were you really saying it or were you just saying it cause you were half asleep?’

Yeah, right. That’d work.

Standing, he stared down at her for a little longer before shutting out her light and leaving the room. He could at least hope she’d remember it in the morning.

Yeah, that might happen.

********

Days past and still their little tryst had not been spoken about. Buffy, William noted, had been diligently looking for a job and he had to admit, it hurt. He knew she had to get one--everyone needed to work, right? But it was the reason that drove her to pound the pavement so hard that hurt. And the fact remained that really; he just didn’t want her to go. He wanted her to stay with him. Wanted to know that she was there when he left in the morning and would be there when he got home from a long day. It gave him a sense of security, a ‘coming home’ feeling. He’d hoped she felt the same way. He’d like to think that before their tryst, she had. And now…now she couldn’t get away from him fast enough.

It hurt.

And then one afternoon, she came to visit him. Waltzing in, she beamed at him her eyes alight with excitement. “Guess what!”

He grinned, not able to help being swept up in her joy. It was contagious. “What?”

“I got a job!”

He stood, bounded over to her and gave her a big hug. “I’m happy for you! What kind of job?”

“I’m actually working at a museum. They were incredibly impressed with my knowledge of art history and took me on as a guide to talk about the work. They even are willing to pay for me to get my Master’s.”

“Buffy’s that’s excellent. You must be so excited.”

“I am. Uh, Will?”

“Yeah?” he murmured, getting lost in her scent that was currently surrounding him as he held her.

“You can let me go now.”

He released her instantly, feeling like an idiot. Not to mention the fact that any more time holding her, and she’d know that he was willing to repeat their passionate time together right in his office. On his desk. Maybe on the couch. No, he hadn’t fantasized about it at all…

“So,” she continued without missing a beat, “I figure I’ll have enough money after a month or so to move out.”

He nodded, turning away from her. “That’s great, Buffy.”

“I’ll be out of your hair and you can have your bachelor pad back.”

“You were never in my hair, Princess,” he drawled.

She shrugged, “Well, ya know.”

Settling back in his chair he studied her. “So are you going to go back to school then?”

“Most definitely. I’d be dumb not to take them up on that offer.”

“I agree, that sounds like a great opportunity to go further advancement in a lot more areas.”

Silence fell and it was awkward. William hated that. He liked the comfortable silence they’d had, not the awkward silence that hinted at their being a gigantic elephant in the room that he didn’t want to mention because it sent her running, and he knew well enough she was never going to mention it.

“Okay, well, I’m gonna head home now,” she murmured.

“What are you doing later?”

“What?”

“What are you doing later? You know, when I get home…?”

“I’m uh, going out tonight.”

”Oh?”

“Just an art show going on that I found out about.”

“Oh, that sounds like fun. Maybe we could go—“

“Uh, no. I’m actually going with a couple people I met today.”

He studied her, knowing instinctively something was off. She was jittery, nervous. She was hiding something.

“For work?” he questioned, raising a brow.

“Yep, for work. Okay, well I’m gonna get going—“

”Will you be home when I get there?”

“Perhaps.”

“Are you meeting them there?”

“Yes.”

“Where is it?”

She gave him a weary look. “God, what are you? Dad?”

“You’re acting funny. What are you hiding from me?”

Rolling her eyes, she headed for his door. “Paranoid much? G’bye, William.”

He stared at the closed door she’d just retreated from for a long time. So, looked like he was going to have to come home a little early that evening and investigate her ‘night out’.

********

Buffy checked the clock once more. It was five. William was usually home at six. It was time to go. She did not want to be home when he got there. She was horrible at lying and she felt guilty for keeping her date a secret from him, but she really didn’t see any other alternative.

For some reason, Buffy knew that telling William she had a date would lead to disaster. After all, it’d been his jealousy that had led to them fornicating in a dirty hallway hadn’t it? Whatever William was feeling for her, or had felt, Buffy was afraid to ‘rouse the beast’ so to speak. Besides, it was a date. One. It wasn’t like she was meeting the love of her life. She was just going to go out and have a good time and not be consumed for once by her incredibly confusing feelings for William.

No harm in that, right?

Waltzing out the door, Buffy gauged she could meet her date at the Bistro he was taking her to before the art showing they were attending.

She didn’t notice the invitation her date had given her that morning in the coffee shop had fallen to the middle of the living room – right out of her purse that she hastily grabbed on her way out the door.

********

William arrived home at 5:30, annoyed that he hadn’t been able to get out of work sooner.

“Buffy?” he called, heading towards her bedroom. The penthouse was so quiet; a pin could have been heard dropping.

Pushing her door open, he was assaulted with her scent and he smiled, heaving a deep breath, feeling himself surrounded by her even in her absence.

“Buffy?” he called through the penthouse.

Heading to the living room, wondering if she was out on the balcony and he’d just missed her in his haste, his eye fell on a slip of paper on the floor. Picking it up, he discovered it was an invitation of some sort. William smiled as he realized what it was for. Buffy didn’t know it, but she’d just told him where she would be that night.

Heading toward the shower, William whistled a jaunty tune. He had a girl to see about.

Owen was nice enough, Buffy decided. Not as dashing as she’d originally thought, but smart and cute in a goofy-dorky sort of way. In short – there were no sparks thus far, but he was friendly and kind and definitely a gentleman. Those were few and far between these days, and Buffy thought the world could use more of them. Of course, thinking about the lack of gentlemen in the world made her think of William. He was a gentleman. He was sweet, kind and considerate. He always put her needs before his own.

However, Buffy was thinking a gentleman didn’t exactly take you against a wall in a club, so… Perhaps there was a discrepancy there. William was a passionate sort of guy though, she conceded. He was the sort of restrained attorney he needed to be, kept a cool head when it was appropriate, but all that passion had to go somewhere. It needed an outlet or he’d probably combust from the inside out. Buffy shivered at the thought of that passion. It was…well, it was hot. She could very well remember what it felt like to have his hot hands on her, how they touched her so exquisitely and made her burn for him. How she craved his touch and his kisses were like a drug to her. Buffy remembered how intoxicating he was; how she’d been unable to stop herself from giving into him.

And now, standing with Owen in a cool art gallery, Buffy felt hot. She couldn’t imagine Owen having the kind of heat William had. William was a Sex God. He was…her eyes widened as she focused in on the entrance to the gallery. William was a devious little Sex God because William was there!

She felt frozen, staring at him, as he perused the crowd. Oh God, he was going to flip a nutty when he saw her with Owen wasn’t he?

“Hey, Owen,” Buffy said softly, leaning into his hulking frame to hide herself. “Let’s go in the other room and check out the watercolors, whaddya say?”

Owen shrugged complacently, “Sure.”

Hoping William wouldn’t see her, Buffy tried her best to blend into the crowd as she tugged Owen into the next room. Heading to the far back wall, she kept her eyes glued to the doorway.

The hors d’oeuvres and flutes of champagne were being passed around and Buffy took a flute, chugging it as she stared at a painting that she wasn’t really seeing and trying to figure what her next escape plan was going to be.

Her eyes darted nervously to the entrance and saw him talking and laughing to some woman that really had no class at all, fawning all over him as she was. Not that she could really blame the woman. He did look devastatingly handsome in black pants and v-neck charcoal sweater. He just looked so…scrumptious. Especially since she knew those pants hugged his ass. His hair that seemed to be growing longer by the day was tousled and slightly curly. Yeah, she was drooling right along with the brunette bimbo hanging on him.

“This one is so…cool,” Owen said, looking at the painting before him.

Buffy looked at it. It was a beautiful painting, actually. Rich, vibrant colors spread out into a butterfly that encompassed the entire canvas it was spread out on. She wanted to scold him for saying ‘cool’. It was more than cool. It was beautiful and textured and rich in its –

“Hello, beautiful,” William drawled in her ear.

She froze and then spun around. “William! You’re here, what a surprise. How are you?” she said a tad too loudly and with such faux cheeriness, William grinned.

“I’m great, pet. Just checking up on my girl.”

“Buffy?” Owen said, clearly confused. Poor guy.

“Owen, this is my brother, William,” Buffy said before William could get a word in. She figured if Owen knew William was her brother, William would be more apt to behave himself.

William grinned at Owen and stuck out his hand. Owen took it and by the expression on her date’s face, Buffy could tell William was squeezing the hell out of his hand.

Okay, so maybe he wasn’t going to behave himself.

Owen finally pulled free with a mighty tug.

“Hey, Will, can I talk to you for a second?” Buffy asked, taking his arm.

“Of course,” William said graciously and allowed himself to be led away.

Buffy had no idea where she was going, but she went through another doorway, down a hall and around a corner. She spun to William. “What the hell are you doing here?” she hissed.

Grabbing her, he hauled her against him and kissed her hard, demandingly, and possessively.

She shoved at him before she could be pulled under – as was so easy to do in his arms she was finding. “Stop doing that! God, what is this? You get in a hallway and caveman William comes out? Do hallways turn you on or something?”

“Try seeing you with another man and caveman William comes out,” he said huskily, reaching for her.

“No!” she said and stepped back. “This…overprotective brother thing has gotten a little weird now Will—“

“I’m not your brother.”

”Stepbrother, then.”

”We’re not blood.”

“We’re still family.”

“It’s not wrong.”

”Yes! It is! It’s big with the wrong. It’s wrong up one side and down the other!”

He shook his head, “No, Buffy, it’s not. We didn’t meet until we were eighteen for Christ’s sake. We spent one summer together, before that, we didn’t even know each other at all. Well, I knew you, but you didn’t know me probably.”

“I knew of you,” she said indignantly.

He grinned. “Bet you didn’t know I had a bit of a thing for you then, huh?”

“What?” she asked incredulously.

“I always thought you were the cutest thing I ever laid my eyes on—“

“Oh, great,” she said dryly. “I’m cute. Just what every woman wants to hear.”

Taking her wrist, he pulled her close until their bodies were flush against each other. Buffy shivered and gasped at the contact.

“You grew into a beautiful woman unlike any woman I have ever seen before, pet.”

“Really?” she asked, mesmerized by his words and voice.

“Yes. You doubt it?”

She chewed her lip. “I blame Mom. She was never really forthright with the compliments—“

”Buffy?”

”Yeah?

“Focus.”

“Sorry.”

William chuckled, cupping the side of her face with one hand, while holding her close with his other arm. “You’re so sweet and beautiful and smart…Buffy, how could I not want to be with you?”

“William—“

“Buffy, you down here?” Owen’s voice came down the hall.

“Tell him to go,” William growled.

“No,” she hissed, “I’m his date, I can’t be rude.”

“Buffy, I’m spilling my guts here!”

“Buffy?”

“Coming, Owen!” Buffy called and pulled herself free from William’s grasp.

“Buffy,” William said warningly.

“Will, can we just…can we just put a pin in it for now? My head is spinning; you’ve gotten me all… My head is spinning like a top…I just can’t think.”

“Come home with me,” he said huskily, pulling her back to him. “Come home with me now, please?”

“I can’t, Will—“

”Yes, you can.”

“We’ll talk later.”

”Let me give you a little something to think about then,” he murmured and captured her lips in a searing kiss that left her weak in the knees and breathless. “Come home soon,” he whispered on a plea.

Nodding dumbly, Buffy walked on shaky legs to meet Owen. Christ, she had never been so turned on and so damn scared in all her life.

William was going mad, having had to watch Buffy leave with the big oaf that she called her date, and then having to wait for her to return to him. He was going stark, raving mad. He was now pacing on his balcony, staring out and waiting for her. Was Owen touching her? Kissing her? Telling her all the pretty things that Buffy deserved to hear, but should only be hearing from him?

Would she be receptive to his advances when she arrived home, or would she continue to put him off? He couldn’t see Owen having struck any kind of big nerve with her. Upon approaching her, she’d almost seemed annoyed by the oaf. Good. That just helped his case all the more.

And then he saw her, stepping out of a blue Ford Taurus. He watched, his body tense, to see if Owen, who was now climbing out of his car, was going to dare touch his Buffy.

He really was turning into a caveman.

Luckily for Owen, all he did was hug her. He made to walk her to the door, but Buffy waved him off, seeming not put out, but being polite about it. Owen shrugged and got back in his car.

Grinning with anticipation, William turned and waited for his girl to see him waiting for her. Coming into the penthouse, Buffy’s eyes fell on him immediately. She was fidgeting. Not a good sign. That always meant she was nervous. Okay, she could be nervous, but not for long. Not for all the delicious things he planned to do to her.

She stepped out to join him and his eyes drank her in. God, she was gorgeous. Her hair was loose and wavy, flowing down around her shoulders, and the silky, silver spaghetti strapped dress she wore and the smoky eye makeup was driving him mad with lust. He felt like a live wire that would go off with one touch from her.

“I knew you’d be waiting up here, watching,” she told him softly.

“You’re so gorgeous, you know that?” he drawled, willing her to give him some kind of sign to reach out and touch her.

“I had to do the ass-out hug, cause I was afraid of what you’d do.”

That stopped him in his tracks. William started to laugh. “The ‘ass-out’ hug?”

“Yeah, you know. When you don’t want to make bodily contact so you kind of hug them while standing back a bit and your ass juts out?”

William couldn’t stop laughing. “Oh, God you make me laugh.”

Buffy smiled warily. “Thanks. Was I right though?” she asked, peering over the balcony. “You can see the parking lot quite well from up here.”

”You were right,” he told her huskily, moving up behind her and wrapping his arms around her. Moving her hair to the side, he left nibbling little kisses on her neck. “I was watching for you, making sure that boy didn’t touch my girl.”

“William,” Buffy breathed, her hands coming to rest on his own as he trailed kisses down her neck.

“Tell me what you want, baby. I’ll do it and more…” he whispered into her neck, biting the tender flesh lightly.

“William, you…”

“Mmmm?” he murmured, his hands traveling up to cup her pert breasts in his hands.

When his hands made contact, Buffy froze. “You have to stop.”

He stilled and dropped his hands to her waist. “Why?”

She turned in his arms. “Whatever it is you’re feeling, you’ve had time obviously to think about it, to come to some sort of conclusion about it. I haven’t. I just…we had…we did it against a wall in a club, William! Whatever you felt—“

Cupping her face in his hands, William stared into her green pools and said with complete clarity, “I’m in love with you, Buffy.”

Putting her hands on his, she looked up at him, stunned. “You are?”

“Yes, I am. Completely and wholly in love with you.”

”Oh, God,” she murmured.

“What? Is that so bad?”

“It’s just…wow.”

He smiled, “I know. Knocked me on my ass, too.”

“Will…”

“What is it, kitten?”

“I…” she pushed at him, “I need some space here first of all. I can’t think when you’re right there like that.”

He grinned saucily. “Not seeing how that’s a bad thing, pet,” he drawled, leaning in and capturing her lips in a kiss.

When he let her go to breathe, Buffy pushed at him once more and he let her go this time, letting her put some distance between them.

“You’ve had time to come to that conclusion, Will. I haven’t,” she told him.

“I’ll give you time, then. I don’t expect you to say it back right away.”

“William, geez, I just got here!”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I came to you because I needed to get back on my feet and now I’m stumbling all over the place because of you. I left one relationship because it just about did me in and I’m not looking to…” she took a deep breath. “I’m not looking to jump into another one.”

William shook his head, “Buffy, don’t end this before it’s even had a chance to start.”

“I’m not…I’m just. I need to get some distance. I just got a job; I’m trying to move out--”

“Princess, you don’t have to move out.”

“Yes, I do,” she said resolutely. “I came here to build a new life, not revert back to the old one.”

“How is being with me reverting back to your old life?”

“Okay, first of all,” she said ticking off her fingers, “There are Mom and Dad. How will they react to it?”

“Who cares if we want to be together? We’re not really related, Buffy and they know it. They’d probably be thrilled!”

“What if it doesn’t work out? Then what? We spend future holidays with the fam being incredibly uncomfortable, or worse, hating each other?”

“Buffy, you can’t know that will happen--”

“And you can’t know that it won’t. William, I’ve spent so long just following my heart and never listening to my head. I just go where the wind blows and there’s so much at stake here and so much I don’t want to lose.”

“Buffy, you won’t lose me,” he told her, trying to grab onto her. Deftly, she avoided his grasp.

“You haven’t even taken me out on a date! I just get sex against a wall and that’s it? I want a little more, here William. I’ve been through the ringer when it comes to men and you know it.”

“You want a date?” he asked, running his hand through his hair. “I’ll give you a date.”

“Because I had to say something!”

“No. Not it at all, really. I regret how I made love to you, Buffy, but I don’t regret having done it. You are right. You do deserve more. A hell of a lot more. And I do want to do right by you. So, we’ll take it slow and easy and--”

“William.”

“What?”

“I’m not ready.”

“You’re hiding,” he said pointing at her.

“I’m not hiding. I’m trying to make my own way here.”

“Can’t I be part of that?”

“I really think it’s something I have to do on my own. I have nothing to offer you right now, Will—“

“That’s not true,” he said adamantly, almost pleadingly. “You have a lot to offer me. Everything you are is what I want--”

“I’m sorry, William. I just can’t right now.”

“Buffy, please…” he said, hating the whine in his voice.

“Good night,” she murmured and left him standing there, feeling as if his world were falling apart.

Buffy hadn’t been up yet when William left the following morning, and she hadn’t arrived home by the time he had. He could only hope that she wasn’t on another date. He also hoped that she hadn’t decided to stay at another cockroach-infested hotel. He’d find her and carry her back by her golden locks if that was the case.



William felt like hell. He was angry, heartbroken and tired. He’d barely slept the night before after Buffy had shunned him, basically, and every time he heard her get up and move around, he’d been on alert just in case she was coming to see him and take back all she’d said and tell him that she wanted to be with him too. Couldn’t blame a guy for trying, right?



Yet, she hadn’t. All he’d concluded was that she had a hard time sleeping the night before as well, and he took comfort in that. Maybe the decision to not be with him hadn’t been an easy one for her as well.



The phone ringing startled him, but had him lunging for it in case it was Buffy. And it was.



“Hey, it’s me; I’m just going out with someone I met at work. Don’t wait up.”



His eyes narrowed. “Male or female?”


”Female. Though she is rounding a group so there could be a mix.”


”Oh.”



“I won’t be in too late.”


”Buffy--”



“Bye!” and she hung up.



Sighing, William sat back, shutting his eyes. Now he knew why he avoided relationships and entanglements. They hurt.



********



Buffy was having a good time with her new friends: Willow, Xander and Anya. Anya was Xander’s girlfriend and worked in the museum gift shop, and Xander and Willow both worked in the museum as well. Willow was in charge of PR and Xander was a security guard. They were fun and light-hearted and Buffy was laughing and carrying on, but she could not break one nagging problem: William wasn’t there.


How sad was it that one night away from him and she missed him? That was absolutely pathetic and only served to endorse further the fact that she needed a) friends, b) a life and c) to move out.



With that in mind, Buffy sat back, took a long swig of her beer and smiled. She was going to put all the mess behind her tonight and enjoy herself. William had his own friends; it was not her fault if he chose not to go out with them. He could have a life as well, it was not her fault he kept his nose in his work. It was not her responsibility to take care of him. Nor was it his to take care of her. Independent Buffy was underway.



“Found a roommate yet, Wills?” Xander asked, chucking some beer nuts in his mouth.



Willow frowned, “No. But I’ve had a lot of freaks call about it.”



“What’s going on?” Buffy asked, ears perking right up.



“Willow’s roommate, Amy, left her last week to travel across country with her boyfriend,” Xander explained.



“Ah, she was in the pursuit of as many orgasms as she could get,” Anya grinned. “Can’t blame her really. I’d be nervous if you took off like that. I’d be afraid someone else would service you,” Anya told Xander.



Buffy cleared her throat, a bit thrown off by Anya’s quite blunt comments.



“So, she left everything but her clothes behind,” Willow explained. “Said she didn’t know when she’d be back and to just box up some of her things for her and she’d send for them one day. So I have this furnished room and no roommate to inhabit it,” Willow explained.



“Well, Wills, I think you just found your roommate,” Buffy said, grinning from ear to ear.



*********



William did wait up, consequently. He couldn’t help it. Knowing Buffy was out, he wasn’t able to rest for fear of all that she was doing and with possibly who…not like he could do anything if she was, but still. Staying up and worrying seemed to fit the bill just fine at that moment.



She finally came in around midnight, and by the tinge on her cheeks, he could tell she’d been drinking. She stared at him, blinking, as if she was surprised to see him there.



“I do live here, Princess,” he drawled.



Buffy stood up straight, “Sorry. I just…what are you doing up?”



“I was waiting for you.”



“Why?”



He stood, sauntering over to her and smiling softly. “Just worry about you is all.”



Shaking her head, she said, “Well, I’m all right,” and promptly wobbled a bit.



“You’re drunk,” he observed, frowning.



“Slightly inebriated. Buzzed. Tipsy.” She giggled. “Not drunk.”



“Not yet anyway, right?”



“Right, but I’m just going to have some water and Tylenol and I’ll be right as rain tomorrow.”



“How was your first day at work?”



“Excellent. Fun. Well, you know, getting acclimated to everything is kinda boring but not, ya know?”



William smiled, “I know.” God, all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless, carry her off to bed, make love to her, and tuck her in, wrapped up in his arms for the night. What was so wrong with that?



Nodding, Buffy headed toward the kitchen and William followed closely behind. “So, who all went out tonight?” he asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.



“Willow, Anya and Xander. They all work at the museum,” Buffy informed him, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.



“Xander? That a guy?”


”Yep. He’s Anya’s boyfriend. What did you do?”



“Watched TV.”


”Why don’t you go out, Will?” she asked after taking a long sip of water.



“I don’t know. Don’t feel like it I guess.”



“You’re a single guy in a posh apartment. Have a party or something.”



“I don’t want to be single,” he said softly, looking down.



“I’m moving out.”



His head snapped up. “What?”



“Willow. She needs a roommate and she’s all paid up until next month when I could start paying rent, so…problem solved!”



“Security? Last month? Do you have that?”



“Taken care of. Willow’s roommate felt so bad for leaving her high and dry, she didn’t ask for it.”



“Lucky you,” William said sardonically.



Buffy sighed. “Why are you being like that? Why can’t you be happy for me?”



”Because I don’t want you to go! I want you to stay here with me—why can’t you understand that?” William exclaimed, throwing up his hands and walking away from her.



“I do, but William, I need to be on my own. I need to stand on my own two feet. I want to take care of myself, not have you take care of me.”



“You want to make your own way? Fine, pay me rent.”



“No! William, can’t you see? If I stayed here with you it’d just be the same old Buffy doing the same old thing – being with a man and having him take care of her. And you know it. You know it’d be like that even if I was paying you rent. I want to do this on my own, William. I want to feel…worthy.”



“Worthy of what? Me?”



“Yes.”



Rushing to her, he cupped her face in his hands. “You are worthy of me Buffy, you are.”



Placing her hands on his, she gently pulled them off her, holding onto them. “I don’t feel it. I want to feel it. I bounce from man to man and never take care of me. I want to do that right now so I don’t fuck everything up—“



“Well you’re in fucking danger of doing that now and we’re not even together yet!” he shouted at her and stormed off.



Buffy felt the tears come and she didn’t stop them. She let them fall, wishing she could make him understand. She didn’t feel like a whole person and a whole person is what William deserved. He had it all together, so he didn’t know what it was like to not have that. She didn’t even know what it was she exactly wanted from him and she didn’t want to jump into something she wasn’t sure of and screw everything up – screw up her relationship with William that was already so dear to her. Buffy figured if she moved out and started making her own way, those other things would fall into place. She could think beyond ‘find own place, find job, get life’. One of the three was already taken care of and the others were on their way. For once in her life she was seeing the big picture and not making it all about what she wanted in that moment, and damn anything that got in her way.



Why couldn’t William see that? Wasn’t that an act of love in itself? But all he did was make her feel selfish. Sitting down with her bottled water right there on the cold floor, Buffy wondered if this was a sign. If it meant that really, she and William were just not meant to be at all, and that all of this was just one big sign that if they were to make a go of it, it’d end in disaster.



Maybe it was best this way then.

William refused to help Buffy move. In fact, he’d left the morning she was to move and stayed away all day. Not that she had a lot that had to go, but she’d tried to call him to let him know that he could come back and he hadn’t answered the phone. By trying to do the right thing, it seemed Buffy had done the wrong thing. It hurt her to know she’d hurt him; it had been, after all, the last thing she wanted to do.

She’d settled in rather quickly at Willow’s, the redhead making her feel right at home immediately. On her first night, the pair stayed up pigging out on pizza, Chinese food and ice cream and watched movies until three in the morning. Two weeks went by and Buffy felt as though a whole new world was opening up to her. She was thriving in her job and had picked out, under her boss’s encouragement, what classes she wanted to take to get her feet wet before fully applying for the Master’s program, and she was learning how to drive. Xander, Anya and Willow were teaching her – an empty parking lot being the first hurdle she had to get through before they trusted her with more.

Things were happening at a rapid pace and more than anything, Buffy wanted to share it with William. But William didn’t want to have anything to do with her any longer it seemed.

Now who was being the child?

And so it was with extreme annoyance that Buffy hauled herself over to his office. She hadn’t had much time as of late to get over to visit him, and every time she called and left messages, he never returned her call.

Waltzing into his office that fateful day, she found him chatting up some brunette that gave her the once over as soon as she entered.

“Oh. Hello, Buffy. I didn’t know you were coming,” he said, his polite tone incredibly fake. That was his ‘schmoozing’ voice.

“Well, I’ve been trying to call--” she started.

“I’ve had a case that’s taken up a lot of time. Buffy, this is Lilah Morgan, my partner on said case. Lilah, this is my stepsister, Buffy.”

Buffy held out her hand and smiled as kindly as she could while the snobby woman daintily took her hand and shook it so lightly, it wasn’t even worth taking her hand and attempting the pretense of it. Buffy studied her. She had pin-straight hair, thin lips, and dull brown eyes – and from the looks of it, this Lilah had the hots for William. Her William. Her eyes followed every move he made and all he was doing was straightening papers on his desk.

Course, Buffy was doing the same thing at the moment.

“Was there something you needed?” William asked, looking up at her.

Tilting her head to one side, Buffy studied him. He looked tired, and if possible, thinner. His hair was shaggier than usual and his clothes were slightly rumpled.

“What?” he nearly barked at her.

Buffy jumped a bit, straightening, startled at his tone. “Nothing, I just wanted to see you since I haven’t see you in a while--”

“Told you, I’ve been busy.”

“Right, but--”

“So, tonight at your place then, William?” Lilah asked, cutting her off. “I can bring some friends.”

“Yes, do that.”

“Tonight?” Buffy questioned suddenly wanting to be anywhere than where she was. This William was not her William. He felt like a stranger to her. He wouldn’t even look her in the eye. She wanted to reach out to him, but she felt like an errant schoolgirl that would get her hands slapped if she tried.

“William is having a party,” Lilah grinned, “A real rager. You know, by William’s standards anyway.”

“You’re having a party?” Buffy asked him.

“Yeah, someone told me I was living the single life and should have one. So, I’m having one,” he said flatly, not even looking at her.

“Oh. Sounds fun.” Buffy was trying for cheerful and she was failing miserably. The faux chipper tone to her voice was really just more annoying than anything. In reality, she felt as though a million daggers were stabbing her in the heart.

“Why don’t you come, Betty? You can bring some of your…friends.” Lilah said, smirking at her. The way she said ‘friends’, made it sound as if Buffy was going to round up the local lepers.

“It’s Buffy,” William said tightly.

“Woops!” Lilah giggled.

Buffy raised a brow and looked at the offending woman. “Yeah, maybe I will.” She turned to William. “What time is the party?”

“Nine.”

“See you then,” Buffy said and started off.

“You’re leaving already?” William called after her.

“Yup!” Buffy called back, snapping the ‘P’. Slamming his door shut, Buffy willed the tears that were prickling the backs of her eyes to go away.

********

“So, tell me again why we’re going to this party when all you’ve done is say how much you hate him since you came home?” Willow asked Buffy as they rode the elevator up to William’s penthouse later that night.

“Because I want to see if him and the skanky ho are going at it like bunnies,” Buffy told her friend, right at the door for when the door opened.

“And you hate him?”

“Yes.”

“But really, that just means you’re in love with him, right?”

Buffy didn’t answer.

“Buffy.” Willow said sternly.

The doors dinged and opened. “We’re here!” Buffy exclaimed.

“Buffy Summers,” Willow said demandingly, following close behind her. “What is it you plan to do if you don’t love him?”

“I never said I didn’t,” Buffy murmured and pushed his door open. The music, she noted, could be felt through the door.

Stepping inside, her jaw dropped. “Wow.”

“Damn, there’s a lot of people,” Willow said in awe. “Does he know this many people?”

“No, he doesn’t.”

“Well, he wanted a rager. I think he got one!”

Buffy sneezed. “Okay. And people are apparently smoking too…”

Spotting William across the room, Buffy felt her inner bitch come out. Lilah was hanging on his arm and laughing in such a forced happy manner, it made Buffy want to hit her.

“Wills, give me the Tequila,” Buffy ordered holding out her hand.

Willow handed it to her. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m going in,” Buffy muttered and marched in the direction of William and Lilah.

Marching up to William, Buffy plastered a bright smile on her face. "Hi!"

William blinked, straightened, and stared. "Buffy--you came."

"Yep, I did. Said I would. Here I am! Hey, this is my friend and roommate, Willow," Buffy said, turning slightly to show William Willow who was standing behind her. "You met her the day I moved--oh wait. That's right. You weren't there."

William glared at her and Buffy just smiled wider. "Where shall I put this?" she asked, holding up the tequila.

"The kitchen. I can show you," he said tightly, making a move to go.

"Don't bother. I got it. Don't want to tear my big brother away from his date!" Buffy returned and spun on heel toward the kitchen.

"Buffy, what are you doing?" Willow asked once they'd entered the kitchen.

Placing the bottle on the counter, Buffy turned to Willow. "Honestly? I have no flipping clue."

"Are you trying to piss him off?"

"Do you think I did?"

Willow nodded, eyes wide. "Oh, yes, I think so."

"Then I guess that's what I'm going for then."

"Why?"

"Well, you know how when a kid feels neglected they act up in a negative way to get attention?"

"Yeah..."

"I'm that kid."

“So, now what are you going to do?” Willow asked, grabbing a 2-liter of soda and pouring herself a plastic cup full. “You going to try to talk to him or…?”

“I don’t know. I guess we could just join the party and see what happens. I just want to know if that bitch and him are …” Buffy shook her head and shivered. “I can’t even think of it.”

“That bad?”

”Yeah, that bad,” Buffy said, wrinkling her nose.

“What if he is with her, Buffy? Then what?”

Buffy looked away. “Then I find some way to get over it and accept it.”

“And regret it?”

“Yeah, and regret it.”

“Have to say though,” Willow said thoughtfully. “You weren’t completely in the wrong here. I mean you were trying to make a life for yourself and not have it revolve around William. You were trying to not depend on him. That’s a commendable thing to do.”

“I’m afraid he didn’t see it that way.”

“Well, tough. Now he’s being a big baby by avoiding you and not returning your calls and being downright rude when you go see him.”

“I should have told him that I felt something for him and I didn’t—“

“You never did?”

Buffy shook her head sadly. “No, I didn’t. Not really, anyway.”

“You’re right. That was dumb,” Willow said dryly.

“Hey!” Buffy exclaimed defensively.

“However, he’s still being a poop head.”

Buffy sighed, “Thank you. So, what do I do, oh wise one?”

“I say you go out there and have some fun. Let him come to you now. It’s not like you haven’t tried.”

“Right.”

“And when the barracuda is off him, go talk to him.”

”Okay.”

“And tell him how you feel.”

“Right.”

“And how is it that you do feel?”

Buffy smiled, “I want him to be the first to know that.”

Willow grinned, “Fair enough. Now…” she slapped her hands together and rubbed them conspiratorially, “Let’s find me a boyfriend!”


*********


Buffy kept a close eye on William for the next couple hours, and Lilah it seemed, was keeping her eye on Buffy.

Which, fine. Honestly at that point, Buffy was so annoyed with William for not seeing through the hussy glued to his side, that if he chose to trifle with someone so unworthy, then that was his prerogative and he could whatever the hell he wanted. Which wasn't what she really believed or wanted however. She had fucked up in some ways by not telling him how she felt, but she hadn't realized the depth of her feeling for him until there was distance for her to really think about what she wanted and how she felt. Things had happened much too fast when she already felt unstable in her life, and trying to start something new with her stepbrother while trying to get on her feet had been too much, too fast.

And now, she knew loved him.

And she finally felt, for the first time in years, that she was on the right path. She was making choices for herself and she felt, finally, that she had something to bring to the table. Her feet were on the ground, finally, and now she was a woman that had her heart and her head working together, and both were in agreement to what they wanted. Perhaps it was a little too late now, though.

It was in hurt that Buffy accepted a dance with a very nice man by the name of Gunn.
In the midst of shaking her tail feather, she felt a hand clamp around her wrist and a breathy voice said in her ear, “Can I talk to you?”

It was William. Buffy froze and her eyes flew up to Gunn who was looking a little annoyed at being interrupted. She flashed him a brilliant smile and excused herself.

William led her, or rather, practically dragged her down to his bedroom where he barked at the few couples making out in his room to get out. The door slammed on the last couple to run out and he spun to her. “What the hell are you doing?”

She stared at him, wide-eyed. “What do you mean, what am I doing?”

“Dancing with that guy,” he said through clenched teeth. “Flaunting yourself—“

“Oh, hell no. I was not flaunting anything. And what the hell do you care for? You’re with Lilah!”

“I haven’t seen you in weeks—“

“You’ve been avoiding me! I’ve tried to call you –“

“You made it clear you didn’t want to have anything to do with me!”

”That is not true!” Buffy exploded. “God, you really don’t get anything do you? I was trying to –“

"Yeah, yeah,” he said, waving his hand at her, “I get it. Trying to ‘make your own way’.”

“Thanks for being so understanding,” Buffy spat and waltzed past him.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to find Willow and I’m leaving. You know Will…I’m glad I didn’t get involved with you. I never realized what a jackass you could be when you don't get your way.”

Storming out into the hall, she went in search of Willow, feeling an onslaught of angry and frustrated tears prickle behind her eyes. All they seemed to do when in the same room together to actually work something out was argue. It was indicative to Buffy at least that in a relationship they’d just be volatile.

This is for the best, she told herself even if she didn’t fully believe it.

“Wills,” Buffy said, coming up to her friend who was chatting with some redhead. “I’m gonna get going.”

Willow’s eyes widened. “Oh, is—is everything all right?”

Not wanting to tear Willow away from the guy she was talking with, Buffy nodded and forced a smile. “Yep, everything’s fine. I’m just not feeling well.”

“You want me to come with you?”

“No, I’m fine. I’ll catch a cab.”

“You sure?”

“Positive. See you later,” Buffy smiled at the guy Willow was talking to and walked out, half disappointed that William hadn’t come after her. She thought perhaps she should go back in and try once more, but pride wouldn’t let her.

It was well and truly over now.


********


The phone ringing jarred Buffy awake after having cried herself to sleep. Fumbling for the phone, she croaked a hello.

“Buffy, I need you.”

“Will?”

“Mom called. Dad had a heart attack.”

Buffy shot upright. “Is he--?”

”He’s in the hospital right now. Mom’s scared, we gotta go.”

“I’m coming—“

“I’ll get you. Just tell me where you are.”


********


Buffy was outside waiting by the time William pulled up. It was three in the morning and in a few hours dawn would be approaching. God, what a night, she mused as she slipped into his car.

William just looked at her and Buffy could see the worry in his eyes. Without a word, Buffy pulled him into a hug. “It’s gonna be all right, Will,” she told him by way of comforting him as best she could.

He pulled back and looked at her searchingly. “Promise?”

Cupping his face in her hands she gave a small smile. “I promise.”

Shutting his eyes, he leaned into her touch and took a ragged breath. After a minute, he whispered thanks and turned back to the wheel.

The car ride was met with silence. For Buffy, she was thinking of the man she loved like a father – as her own father hadn’t ever cared or wanted anything to do with her, and her mom, her poor mom who was head over heels in love with Rupert Giles and would be lost without him. Her mom, Joyce, deserved to have a man like Giles in her life after Buffy’s father had put her through the emotional ringer. Joyce had went many years without a man in her life while she raised Buffy to the best of her ability and Buffy could still remember the day Joyce had come home, thrilled to have met a man as wonderful as Giles had been to her.

Looking over at William, she found him grim, his eyes focused on the road before him, one hand gripping the steering wheel, the other by his side. Her heart went out to him, if she was worried, and it was her stepfather, she couldn’t imagine what it was like for him, it being his real father and having already lost his mother to cancer when he was a boy.

Reaching out, Buffy took William’s hand that rested by him in her hand and squeezed. He squeezed back, but said nothing, eyes still trained on the road before him.

********

When they were just about in Sunnydale, Joyce rang to inform them Giles was in stable condition, sleeping now, and they thought perhaps he didn’t have a heart attack, but that it was something else. They were running tests to be sure. She informed them they had sent her home and that they should meet her there.

William was hesitant about it, but Buffy assured him there was nothing he could do if his father was sleeping and that he could use some rest himself before he saw Giles. William reluctantly agreed and took them to their home in Sunnydale.

Buffy helped him carry their things in the house and Joyce greeted them, clearly worn out, with open arms.

She gave William a lingering hug in which William lost it, sobbing in his stepmother’s arms. Buffy’s heart ached for him and more than anything; she wanted to ease his troubled mind. She just didn’t know how. All she knew was that the man she loved more than anything was hurting and she felt helpless.

“He’s going to be fine, William,” Joyce assured him in her maternal way. “They think he has a virus in his heart. It’s called pericarditis. It feels like a heart attack, but it’s just like a cold in the heart that eventually goes away. It’s nothing serious.”

“What does he have to do if that’s it?” William asked mournfully.

“Take Ibuprofen for the pain.”

“That’s it?” Buffy jumped in.

Joyce nodded, “That’s it.”

“When will they know?” William asked, pulling back from Joyce and wiping at his eyes.

“Tomorrow morning I imagine. He’s fine, William. He’s just resting now.”

“How did it happen?”

“Yesterday he kept thinking he had indigestion, which was odd since he never had that before, and he said he felt winded,” Joyce explained. “Then earlier this evening he said he had chest pains and it had gotten pretty bad. I think worrying made it worse and we took him in. I apologize for calling you as I did until I knew more,” Joyce said regretfully, brushing some hair from William’s face.

“No, Mom, I’m glad you called. We should be here,” William assured her. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine, honey,” Joyce nodded, “Just…I think I need some rest now myself.”

“We’ll lock up, Mom,” Buffy offered. “Go on to bed.”

“Thanks honey,” Joyce smiled. “It’s so good to see you both under the same roof again!”

Buffy and William exchanged nervous grins.

“Goodnight, you two. See you both in the morning,” Joyce said wearily and headed up to bed.

William locked up the front door while Buffy went to the back door and made sure it was locked up. When she came out into the kitchen, she found William standing there, waiting for her.

“Thanks for coming with me,” he told her.

“Of course I was going to come. I consider your dad to my dad. Plus…Mom, ya know?”

William nodded, “Buffy, about earlier—“

Buffy shook her head, “Water under the bridge, okay? It’s not important now.”

He nodded, “Okay.”

“I’m heading up to bed. You coming?”

“In a minute.”

Nodding, Buffy went by him, but didn’t get very far. William grabbed her arm and tugged her into his arms, kissing her voraciously.

“I want you so much,” he told her raggedly. “I can’t stop, Buffy, God help me, I can’t stop…” and he devoured her mouth once more.

Buffy moaned into his kiss, pulling at him, trying to get him even closer than he was. “William—“

”Ssshhh,” he hushed, “Just… please…” he murmured and lifted her onto the kitchen table behind her. “Please let me make love to you…” he begged, sliding his hands up the long skirt she wore.

It was wrong; somewhere in the back of Buffy’s mind she knew that this was wrong. They had things to work out before this. Making love in the kitchen on the table wasn’t going to make things right, it wasn’t going to make things better. This wasn’t about making love, it was about life and death…it was about feeling alive in the face of death. They’d had a scare that night and in fact, they were still scared. Emotions were high and this…this was just a byproduct of all that.

“William…” she murmured. “We have to stop.”

He froze, pulling back only slightly. His eyes widened and he stepped away, running a hand through his hair. “Christ!” He looked at her, “I’m sorry, Buffy,” he said adamantly. “I keep…doing this…I just can’t…” he shook his head again.

“Can’t what?”

“I can’t help myself when it comes to you! I turn into this horny teenager around you…it’s disgusting.”

“No, William, it’s not,” she told him, jumping down from the table and going to him, taking him in her arms. “It’s flattering to know you want me that much.”

“Buffy, you don’t even know,” he said hoarsely, burying his face in her neck. “I love you so much… I feel like it’s bigger than I am and it’s just going to …consume me whole. I can’t stop it, Buffy. I’ve tried and I just can’t…”

“I don’t want you to stop,” Buffy whispered.

He pulled back, studying her imploringly. “What does that mean?”

“What about Lilah?”

William frowned, “She’s…she wants me, but I can’t…she’s not for me and she knows I’m in love with another. She keeps saying she can make me forget but I…I don’t want to, and how could I? You’re…you’re everything to me.”

“Have you…?” she trailed off nervously, afraid of his answer.

“Have I…?” he appeared definitely confused.

“Slept with her.”

William’s eyes widened. “God no! No way in hell. Did you think --?”

“Well,” Buffy started, figuring out how to put it as delicately as possible. “Yeah.”

William shook his head emphatically. “No. I never…I couldn’t. She…kissed me once.”

Jealousy like she’d never known before flared inside Buffy and she shook her head, “I don’t want to know,” and she started off.

Grabbing her, William brought her into his arms, her back to his front and wrapped his arms around her. “You asked, pet, remember?”

“Yeah, I know,” Buffy said, struggling a bit to get out of his grasp though not really struggling. “But now I don’t want to know.”

“Let me finish.”

”Will—“

“She kissed me, I didn’t kiss her. Know what I was thinking of the whole time?” he whispered, his breath fanning across her neck like a warm breeze.

”Wh-what?” she was turning to goo in his arms, and really, she didn’t care.

“You,” he murmured, nuzzling her neck. “How you tasted, your scent…how you felt in my arms…. it was you, Buffy. It’s always been you.”

“H-has it?”

“Yes,” he breathed, biting down on her earlobe and tugging on it with his teeth. “That summer we spent together?”

”Y-yeah?”

“I fell in love with you then, Buffy.”

“Really?”

“Yes. You ruined me for other women, you know.”

A surge of womanly pride coursed through Buffy. “Good,” she said triumphantly.

Chuckling, he spun her around and kissed her hungrily. Breaking the kiss, he pressed his forehead to hers. “You better go now.”

“What do you mean?”

“If you don’t go up to bed like a good girl, I might not be a good boy and keep my hands to myself.”

She nodded in agreement reluctantly. “But we…we have a lot to discuss, right?”

“Yes, we do. The first order of business my apology for being such a jackass.”

“That works for me,” she said grinning.

After kissing her again, he nudged her away. “Go, now, kitten.”

”Will?”

“Yes, my love?”

“Would it be um, bad if you slept in my bed with me tonight?”

His eyes darkened with unrestrained lust. “Yes, it would. Especially since Mom doesn’t know yet.”

“Right, Okay. Night—“ and she set off.

His arms came around her a second later, “But I’m willing to take the chance,” he said into her ear and she giggled uncontrollably.

“You have to behave though,” she admonished him, spinning in his arms and waving a finger at him.

He grinned, “I’ll try my best, luv.”

“There is no try. Only do.”

“What are you Yoda now?”

She giggled, “Maybe.”

“Come on, baby. Let’s get some rest,” William said, tugging on her hand and leading them up to her bedroom.

Buffy woke up slowly, fighting wakefulness. Opening her eyes slowly, and with great reluctance, Buffy screwed her brows together as the night’s events came rushing back. Giles, her mom, the party, William—William who had spent the night in her bed and was currently not with her.

Bolting up, Buffy strained to hear voices coming from downstairs and then William’s voice, clear as day sounding just outside her door.

“I’ll get her up, Mom,” she heard him say just before her door was opened and William burst through.

Letting out an “eep!” of surprise, Buffy instinctively pulled her blanket up and backed up against the headboard.

William stared at her, grinning slowly and then pounced. After letting out a little shriek, Buffy erupted into giggles as William toppled her into the bed, nipping at her neck and bare shoulders, grinding his semi-hard cock against her.

“How’s my girl?” he asked huskily, his eyes meeting hers in a look that made Buffy weak in the knees. This man loves me, she thought, and nearly swooned.

“I’m all right. How are you?”

Grinding his cock against her, he murmured with a grin, “I’m damn good, luv.”

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she brought him down for a kiss. “You were up early?”

“I heard Mom moving around,” he explained. “Figured I should get up and go to my room before she found out I was in here with you all night.”

“Has she heard from Dad?”

“He called this morning while I was helping Mom make breakfast. He’s fine. He’s got that pericarditis thing. He’s coming home. They’re just going to monitor him to make sure he’s healing the way he’s supposed to so it doesn’t lead to further problems down the road.”

“Feel better?”

William smiled and nodded, collapsing against her and burying his face in her neck. Her scent was still so sweet and arousing, even after sleep. Rolling them to their sides, their limbs entwined, he gazed at her lovingly. “I love you,” he murmured, sweeping hair from her face.

The object of his affection smiled and cuddled up to him, tucking her head under his chin, and holding onto him tightly.

“William--” she began.

“Come and get it!” Joyce bellowed from the bottom of the stairs.

Buffy sagged in his arms.

“What is it, Buffy?”

“I’ll tell you later,” she told him, pulling herself out of his grasp and climbing out of bed.

“Buffy,” he whined good-naturedly.

She laughed, “Later, when we have privacy,” she promised.

********

After collecting a weary and grumbling about hospital food Giles from the hospital, the Giles’s and Summers retreated back to the house for a ‘real’ family dinner.

“Buffy would you help me carry our things to the car?” William asked while Giles rested watching TV and Joyce was preparing dinner. He looked at her, letting her know that he wanted more than just ‘help’ with the bags.

“Oh, sure, of course!” Buffy exclaimed, wincing at how fake she sounded. Thankfully, her mother was none the wiser.

“When you come back, can you two set the table, please?” Joyce called after them.

“Sure thing, Mom!” Buffy called back as William drug her out of the house.

Once outside, William tugged her to the garage, enveloped her in his arms, and kissed her hungrily, “I’ve wanted to do that all day,” he gasped when they parted for air.

“Mmmm…I know what you mean,” Buffy murmured happily and snuggled up to him.

“Buffy, baby, we need to talk,” William said seriously, pulling back and making her look at him.

“I know,” she whispered.

“I – I want to be with you--”

“I want to be with you too, Will.”

Like a moron, William wanted to cry at her words, “You do?”

Buffy rolled her eyes and smirked, “What part of last night led you to believe otherwise?”

“I just…I just wasn’t sure that you wanted to. I mean, I want to be with you in the sense that we date and you’re my girlfriend and all that stuff that couples do.”

“I knew what you meant, Will.”

Cupping the side of her face, he gazed down at her imploringly. “Then what happened? Why were we so far from each other?”

Biting her lip, Buffy stepped away, and started to pace a bit. “It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be with you before, Will, but I just wasn’t in a place to do so.”

“Yes, you were!”

“No,” Buffy said, shaking her head, having stopped pacing and now faced him.“I wasn’t. I was a mess. I didn’t have my own place, I didn’t have a job, I didn’t have anything of my own. I know it didn’t matter to you, but it mattered to me. I didn’t want to start off anything with you until I was in the right place to do it. How fair would it have been of me to lean on you like that?”

“I told you you could have paid me rent,” William mumbled, kicking a can across the garage floor.

“I could have, but you know as well as I do that never would have worked. I know you, William. You would have waived it and I would have let you. I never would have done anything on my own if I didn’t go. And I just…I had all these feelings for you and I didn’t know what they all were. You came at me with telling me how you loved me and wanted me, and while you had time to come to those conclusions and had felt them for a while, I needed some time to figure out my feelings for you.”

“And now?”

Taking a deep breath, Buffy said the words William had longed to hear for so long. “I love you, William.”

“You do?” he asked, emotion clogging his throat.

“I do. I know now that I’ve loved you the whole time, I was just afraid of fucking up the way I had done so many times before. And because it was you…I just couldn’t let that happen. I need you, Will. If I lost you…I wouldn’t know what to do.”

Crossing the distance between them, William gathered her up in his arms, peppering her face with kisses and then burying his face in her neck. “I’m sorry I was such an ass when you came to see me,” he whispered.

“Well, I suppose I deserved some of that. I hadn’t made things easy.”

“I’m sorry I pushed so hard and didn’t try to understand where you were coming from.”

“Well, you’ve always been kind of single-minded when it comes to what you want.”

William chuckled. “Ain’t that the truth?”

Buffy giggled, “But I could have made some kind of compromise. I should have at least let you know how I felt – fear and all.”

“So, how bout from now on, we make a pact?”

“And that is?” Buffy inquired, tracking the lines of his face with her finger.

Resting his forehead against hers, he gazed at her, “Well tell each other what we’re feeling. Often.”

“That sounds good to me. Can I add something else?”

“Please do.”

“We don’t let the other run or cower. We stick it out.”

“Sounds fair to me,” William whispered and kissed her softly. “We have to tell Mom and Dad.”

“Yes, we do,” Buffy agreed. “How do you think they’ll take it?”

William frowned thoughtfully, “Not sure. I think Mom will take it better than Dad.”

“Really? I thought Dad would take it better than Mom.”

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to see then, won’t we?”

“Oh, I wanted to tell you,” Buffy began, “Guess what I’ve got next week?”

“What?”

“A driving test.”

William pulled back slightly, his eyes widening. “You’ve been learning to drive?”

“Yep,” Buffy said, smiling broadly. “Willow and Xander have been teaching me.”

“I was supposed to do that,” William pouted.

Kissing him quickly, Buffy said softly, “Hey, it’s over now. Moving on, remember?”

“I know I just wish I hadn’t let my pride get in the way of us.”

“Well, we’re both guilty of something. We’ll just work on those things from now on, okay?”

“When did you become so wise?” William teased, nipping at her lips.

“I’ve always been wise,” Buffy grinned, “I just haven’t put it to use until now.”

“Come on, luv. The sooner we tell Mom and Dad, the sooner we can go home and the sooner I can make love to you.”

“Race you!” Buffy exclaimed and jumped out of his arms, tearing off to the house.

William chuckled. “There will never be a dull moment with her,” he muttered and tore off after her.

Tucking into dinner, William looked up at Buffy across from her, letting her know that he was going to say something and that it started now. “Mom, Dad, there’s something Buffy and I want to tell you,” he began.



Joyce looked up from her dinner, “Oh? Could it have something to do with the fact that you two are together now?”



Giles, Buffy and William all exclaimed “What?”



Joyce grinned and then laughed, “What – you think I’m dumb and blind?”



“How did you know?” William demanded.



“What gave it away?” Buffy demanded after him.



“What?” Giles exclaimed again.



“Well, first of all I always kind of hoped after that summer you two spent together that something would happen in that direction. I know, I know, it’s not . . . ‘normal’ and it’s a little ‘weird’, but I always thought William was such a good influence on you honey,” Joyce explained to Buffy, reaching across the table and squeezing her daughter’s hand. “And I could tell then, William,” Joyce continued, turning to William, “That you were quite enamored with my daughter. I was so sad when you two split from each other for so long and it was why I encouraged you to see your brother--” Joyce broke off, giggling, “I probably shouldn’t say that anymore huh? Anyway, it was why I told you to see William after you decided to leave Sunnydale.”



William did not miss Buffy’s wince at that. He decided to file that one away for later.



“And then, William my dear, you spent the night in Buffy’s room, am I right?”



“How did you know?” Buffy exclaimed at the same time William did. And Giles said “What?”



Joyce grinned, “William left his nightstand light on in his room. When I went in to shut it off after a late night snack, it didn’t take much to put two and two together. Then there were the long, lingering looks and goofy grins you two exchanged all day when you thought no one was looking.” Touching her finger to her nose, Joyce announced proudly, “I was looking! Then of course was the fake trip to load the car. Neither one of you took a bag to the car and you were both gone quite a long time.”



“Geez, Mom, you could be a P.I.,” Buffy muttered.



Joyce laughed, “I just pay attention. Plus, I was hoping – and of course waiting for one of you to tell me.”



William shook his head in disbelief and both he and Buffy froze when Giles cleared his throat.



Giles’s expression was unreadable which William wasn’t really sure if that was a good thing or bad thing. “Dad?” he said tentatively.



Giles looked at him, “So, now that I’ve finally caught up with the uh, affairsof this family, I’d like to have the floor now if I may.”



“Oh Giles, relax. I told you long ago that I wanted these two together,” Joyce admonished him.



“It’s one thing for you to think, and quite another for it to be happening – and under my roof!”



Joyce raised a brow. “Whose roof?”



Giles shot her a look and Joyce just grinned brilliantly.



“I will agree with my lovely wife that it is . . . a tad unnatural.”



“Dad!” William exclaimed.



“Okay,” Giles held up his hand, “Weird. It’s a tad weird…for lack of a better word. I don’t think a man of my age should be using such a word, but there it is.”



“But?” Joyce prompted.



Giles gave her another look. “But, I do concede the point that you’re not really related and didn’t grow up together, so therefore it’s not that…weird.” He leveled a gaze at William. “Now listen to me son. Buffy might not be my biological daughter, but I consider her to be the daughter I never had. Treat her right or you will see what it means for a father when a daughter is hurt by the man she loves.”



William nodded, “Got it Dad.”



“And you,” Giles said, looking at Buffy. “I love you like the daughter I never had--”



Buffy giggled a bit at that, seeing as how she already heard that part.



“—But William is my son and I don’t want to have to come down hard on you for hurting him, do you understand?”



“I do, Dad, thank you.”



Giles sighed and looked at his wife. “Happy?”



Joyce smiled, “Very.”



********



William didn’t think he could get home fast enough. Not with Buffy by his side, slowly driving him mad with desire for her. Every so often she’d lean over and whisper the naughty things she wanted to do to him, and by the time they arrived at his penthouse, he was ready to combust.



Dragging her into his building, with her giggling the whole way, he shuttled her into an empty elevator and after pushing the button for his floor, he pushed Buffy against the wall and attacked her with kisses. When her warm little hand wormed its way under his shirt, he moaned into her neck, nipping at her.



“Why do you have to live on the top floor?” Buffy muttered, inching her hands up his shirt.



“I don’t know, but I’m thinking of moving.”



“Are you?”



“If this is gonna happen every time we’re in my elevator, I’m gonna need to be closer to my apartment so I can ravish you.”



Laughing, Buffy wrapped her arms around him and kissed him slowly and sweetly. William held her to him, stroking her back.



When the elevator dinged, they nearly jumped through it and raced to his apartment. Once the door was open and then shut, William gathered Buffy to him and scooped her up into his arms.



Buffy gasped and held onto him. “Will!”



He grinned. “I told you the next time we’d be doing this right.”



“By all means!”



Carrying her into his bedroom, he set her down softly on the floor, wrapping his arms around her and bringing her in for a mind-bending kiss.



“Mmm…” she murmured, sinking into his arms and his kiss. “I love you.”



“I don’t think I’ll ever tire of hearing that,” William said huskily. “Say it again.”



“I love you.”



“I love you too,” and he pushed her back to the bed, until the backs of her knees hit it and she fell back, laughing and reaching for him.



William made fast work of kicking off his shoes and toeing out of his socks while Buffy made fast work of her sandals and tank, leaving her there in just a bra. William’s mouth watered at the sight. Whipping his t-shirt off, William pounced, pushing his hands up her skirt, his fingers dancing over her creamy thighs.



“God, you feel so good,” he muttered against her mouth, tearing her panties away.



She gasped, “Ooh…I think I like the caveman now.”



He grinned, “Good.”



Trailing kisses along her jaw and down her neck, he gloried in feeling Buffy’s hands slide up and down his back and around the front to his nipples that she flicked with her fingers.



Growling, he lifted and she used the opportunity to place hot open-mouthed kisses on his chest, laving his nipples with her tongue.



“Christ,” William muttered, digging his fingers in her hair as she ministered to him. In a move that caught him off guard, Buffy flipped them so that she straddled him and she sat atop him, grinning like a nymph



“Buffy,” he growled and she slowly took her bra off, dangling it from a finger before dropping it to the floor with the rest of their clothes.



“My God, you’re beautiful,” he gasped and sat up, cupping her breasts in his hands. She smiled down at him, her eyes heavy with lust.



Covering one breast with his mouth, he suckled from her gently, causing her to moan and grind her center against his hard cock that was currently begging for release in his jeans.



Not wanting to leave the other out, he paid rapt attention to the other breast while tweaking her nipple of the other with his hand.



“Mmm…Will…”



“You like that?” he asked huskily.



“Yes,” she hissed, her hands in his hair.



“What else do you want, baby? Tell me,” he urged.



Pushing him back to the bed with force, Buffy grinned saucily at him and William looked up at her half in surprise and half in anticipation.



Shimmying down his body, she undid his pants and yanked them down and off, taking his boxers with them. Her hot mouth engulfed his member a second later and William groaned, his eyes rolling up in his head. “Fuck me…”



“Soon,” she murmured and swirled her tongue around his mushroom head.



“Buffy, God, I’m not gonna last here, luv.”



“Mmm,” she moaned around his member and this time used her hand to glide up and down his shaft while she played a beat on the underside of the head.



“Buffy, please,” William gasped.


“What?” she asked innocently and hummed again.



That did it. William sat up with lightening speed and hauled her up. “Want to be inside you now,” he breathed and rolled her under him.



Helping her take off her skirt, William sunk a finger inside her, flicking her clit with his finger. “You’re so wet,” he whispered.



She nodded, “Yes, for you.”



He fingered her slowly, watching hungrily when her back arched off the bed and her head thrashed to the side. When she called his name, William decided he couldn’t wait any longer.



“Let me in, Buffy,” he muttered and lined his cock up with her opening.



Spreading her legs farther for him, she shooed his hand away and grasped his cock, guiding him inside, and sharing a moan of completion once finally united.



“God, I love you,” he gasped.



“I love you too, Will,” Buffy whispered and met him thrust for thrust.



She felt like heaven and sin all wrapped up in one tiny package. She could save a man and drive same man right around the bend. She was bliss; she was the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other. And William loved her so completely, he never wanted to be a part from her, this was where he belonged and this was where he would stay.



Buffy drew her nails up his back and around his front, teasing him, causing his stomach to clench. “Harder,” she whispered in his ear and tugged on his lobe on her teeth.



Soon, William was pounding inside her with long, deep thrusts, wanting her to feel every single inch of him inside her; wanting her to know who it was, and who it would be forever.



“Buffy,” he panted, kissing her hard and possessively. Pressing his forehead to hers, he lifted her hips and sunk in deeper.



“William, please,” she begged, meeting him thrust for thrust, cupping his ass with her hands and pushing him into her.



“Come with me,” he breathed, feeling his impending orgasm coming. Reaching between them, he found her pleasure nub and rubbed.



“William!” Buffy shouted and came all around him, drenching his cock with her cum.



Feeling her walls clamp around him, and watching her come undone was all it took for William to empty himself inside her, cumming so hard he nearly blacked out.



He collapsed against her and immediately rolled them to their sides, careful not to disengage, for he was not yet ready to be apart from her.



Her skin was slick with sweat and he moved some of her sweat drenched hair from her face. “All right, pet?” he asked tenderly, pecking her nose.



Buffy smiled up at him dreamily. “That was amazing.”



He grinned. “I’ll say.”

The next morning Buffy woke before William and reveled in the feel of waking in his bed and in his arms. She didn’t think he’d once relinquished hold on her all night. Except for maybe that one time she used the facilities. Though when she returned, he was surrounding her once more, in fact, that was when round three had started…

Lying on her side, Buffy watched him sleep, the steady rise and fall of his chest, his eyes that indicated REM, and the hard planes of his perfectly chiseled chest. He was a sight to behold all right. Her mind reeled back to that summer they spent together before they parted ways and she couldn’t help but wish she’d known how he felt then, but then she also wagered, it hadn’t been the right time yet. There were things they had to go through and do before it was time for them.

He’d done a good job of hiding his feelings for her then…or had he? Well, there was one time where she thought maybe…

Flashback

Buffy stood before her full length mirror, turning from side to side and trying decide if she looked all right for her date that night. Critically studying herself, the knock at her door made her jump.

“What?” she barked, annoyed that whoever was at her door had scared her.

“Can I come in?” William.

Sighing, Buffy opened the door for him. “Sure. What’s up, Will?”

He stared at her openly, looking her up and down. “Where are you going dressed like that?”

She bit her lip. “Crap, do I look bad?” she looked down at her long, cream ankle length peasant skirt and the multi-colored peasant top that matched. “Do I look frumpy?”

“No, you look…well, you really look beautiful.” He blushed then and Buffy was surprised to see it. “You going somewhere?”

She smiled, “I am.”

He frowned, “Where?”

“I have a date tonight.”

Now he looked crestfallen.

“What?” she asked.

“We had plans tonight, Buffy.”

She frowned, “We did?”

“Yeah, we were going to order pizza and watch a scary movie.”

“Oh,” now she felt bad. “I’m sorry, Will. I forgot.”

“We made the plans last night,” he murmured, looking down.

“When I went to the pharmacy today, Angel was working and he…kind of asked me and I…I’m sorry.”

William looked up and smiled as brightly as he could, which wasn’t much. She could see the hurt in his eyes. “It’s okay. You have fun. I know you’ve wanted to go out with him.”

“Maybe if I come home early enough—“

“Nah, forget it. It’s okay, Buffy, really.” And he shuffled away, leaving Buffy to feel like the world’s biggest bitch.

She hadn’t been able to get William out of her mind the whole night as it turned out. Angel was nice enough and she’d had a well enough time, but she couldn’t help but think she’d have an even better time had she kept her ‘date’ with William. That was karma for you.

Ending her date early on account of a ‘headache’, Buffy waltzed into the house. Her parents were gone, that was apparent from their missing car, but William was home. His light had been on in his bedroom.

“Will?” she called.

A minute and then, “Buffy?”

“Yeah, I’m home.”

In a second he was at the top of the stairs. “What happened? Are you all right?” he asked, brushing his shaggy hair from his face.

“It was all right, but it wasn’t great, you know?”

He shrugged, “I don’t date.”

She smiled up at him. “Well, we’ll have to work on that. Want to get that movie and pizza? I think the video store is open for another half hour.”

He smiled broadly. “Sure,” and he bounded down the steps, stopping in front of her. He studied her. “You didn’t come home because of me, did you?”

“Well, I realized while I was out that I would have had much more fun with you than him. You’re a much better conversationalist,” she grinned at him and he beamed down at her.

Slinging her arm through his, she pointed to the door. “Shall we?”

“We shall, mi’lady,” he said graciously and led her out to his car.

She did have a better night with William than she had with Angel. They had one of their long and in depth talks (after the movie) that just spiraled into topic after topic, they laughed together until their sides hurt, and time flew without them even realizing it until Joyce and Giles strolled in at two a.m.

Giles headed right up to shower and Joyce came in the living room to find Buffy laid out on one end of the couch and William laid out on the other, talking in the dark with the blue screen of the TV being the only light in the room, and an empty pizza box on the coffee table with a half empty two liter of Coke.

“What are you two doing?” Joyce asked.

“Just talking, Mom,” Buffy chirped.

“Well, Giles and I are a heading up to bed. Don’t be loud.”

“Kay, Mom,” William agreed.

The pair had fallen asleep that night just like that and when Buffy woke up in the morning, she found a blanket wrapped around her, courtesy of William, for he was sharing it with her at the other end of the couch. He’s so good to me, sometimes too good. I wonder if he…, Buffy shook her head, banishing those thoughts, He’s just being a ‘big brother’.

End Flashback

“What are you thinking about?”

Buffy hadn’t even realized he’d awoken until she heard him speak. “You. Me. Us.”

He quirked a brow. “Anything in particular?”

“That summer we spent together. It makes me sad to think of.”

He frowned, drawing her closer and wrapping her up in the warmth of his embrace. “Sad, why? It was a great summer.”

”Sad because we did have such a great time and then we lost touch for so long.”

“I reckon we both had some growing up to do.”

“I’m still growing up!”

William laughed. “But you feel better now than you did when you arrived, right?”

“Oh, much. It’s amazing what getting a job you love; learning to drive and having your own place can do for a person. I mean, I had most of that when I was in Sunnydale, but I still had Mom and Dad around if I got in a bind. I don’t want to do that here. I want to do this on my own. I even made out a budget!”

William chuckled. “You are growing,” he teased.

“What have you been doing, William hmmm? You know aside from that case and Lilah.”

He growled. “Was never with her.”

Buffy giggled, “I’m teasing!”

Rolling on top of her, William pinned her hands over her head. “I’ve been thinking of you, working, thinking of you, working, missing you, working, missing you…licking my wounds and feel sorry for myself, basically.”

“Oh.”

“Water under the bridge now, right luv?”

“Yep, it’s a fresh start. Will?”

“Yes?”

“I want to wrap my arms around you…do you mind?”

He grinned mischievously down at her, rubbing his hardened cock against her. “Not just yet, luv. Got some plans for my girl…” And he set about showing her for a good long time what those plans were.

Epilogue One year later

Hefting the last box into his bedroom, what was now to become their bedroom, William watched Buffy unpack her clothes and hang them next to his in the closet.

He grinned, feeling that ‘home’ feeling wash over him as he watched her. Her scent was already infiltrating his space and it simultaneously relaxed him and filled him with the insatiable hunger he seemed to have for her on a regular basis.

“Thanks, Will,” she chirped as she hung another article of clothing.

Coming over to her, he wrapped his arms around her from behind and nuzzled her neck. “No, thank you.”

Placing her hands on his, she asked, “What for?”

“For finally agreeing to move in with me.”

Turning her head to give him a peck on the cheek, she murmured. “I did give you a hard time about that huh?”

He grinned, “Well…yeah. But it’s all right, luv. I knew you would eventually.”

She giggled.

“So I figure now’s a good time to start with proposing so that by this time next year we’ll be getting hitched"

She froze for a second and he worried that he’d gone too far, too fast. She spun in his arms and looked up at him, studying him closely. “You what?”

He heaved a sigh. “Want to marry you, pet.”

“Now?”

“Well, not right this second unless you wanted to.”

Buffy buried her face in his chest and shivered, holding him tightly. “You…”

“I what?”

“You steal my breath.”

“Sorry?”

“No, it’s…I’m not used to be loved so much by someone.”

“Still?” he teased.

“Yes, still.”

“Well if it helps, I’m not used to being loved by you…still have to pinch myself now and then to make sure I’m not dreaming and you really are my girl.”

Leaning up, Buffy kissed him. “I really am your girl.”

“So, can I start asking you to marry me now, Buffy?”

She smiled and nodded. “Yes, you can start asking. And I think after you take me to bed and ravish me, I will give you an answer.”

He bit his bottom lip and looked at her sheepishly. “Can I get an advance on that?”

“Well, I think you've pretty much got this one in the bag,” she said, smiling brightly.

He whooped and spun her around, placing her on the bed and settling between her thighs

“Do I get a ring?” she asked, giggling.

“Yeah, after I’m done ravishing you," he replied and smothered her in a kiss.