Summary: Dr. William Giles’ world is turned upside down when he opens his heart and his home to a stranger in order to save her from the darkness that threatens to surround her after the loss of her child.
Nominated for BEST WIP, BEST ANGST, and BEST FANTASY at LOVES LAST GLIMPSE ~ Thanks guys!!! :-)
Categories: NC-17 Fics Characters: None
Genres: Romance, Angst
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Child Abuse
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 7
Completed: No
Word count: 12984
Read: 13282
Published: 10/26/2006
Updated: 12/18/2006
1. Prologue by zeta0497
2. Chasing Cars by zeta0497
3. How to Save a Life by zeta0497
4. October by zeta0497
5. Reach for Me. by zeta0497
6. Holy Tears by zeta0497
7. There for You by zeta0497
Author's Notes:
This will be an angsty story, the prologue not excluded so be forewarned. I am planning on putting up a warning on any chapter that has an over abundance *cough LIKE THIS ONE cough* but I did just want to put it out there in the beginning. I also want to say that I am not in the medical field. Please excuse any terminology that may be off, and I am also not from the LA area, I know that there is a Mattel Children's hospital located there but I've never been there so I'm not sure what the landscape is like, what the interior looks like, or evern if they actually have a garden....
Cover Art by NoaluvJames
Prologue:
Captured in a photograph
In black & white
Her hair brushes her shoulders
As she leans to turn out the light
She's warm and you can feel her
But she can't feel you
No she's just too numb to move
Captured in a photograph
Without a frame
I see you standing tall
But i see no face to blame
And did she say she loved you
Well you know that's really nice
Because they say that when she cries
Her tear drops turn they turn to ice
Let her feel the rain
Won't you let her feel again
Feeling through the pain
Won't you let her feel the rain
Upon her face
Let her feel the rain
Won't you let her feel the rain
Upon her face.
Captured in a photograph
Inside her eyes
She'll wrap you in her blanket
And then she'll tell you some lies
And you will kneel before her
At her altar in the trees
Because they say no matter who you are
She'll bring you to your knees.
Let her feel the rain...It was late. He’d been on for the past 48 hours and was looking forward to being able to go home, have a decent meal and some actual sleep, something that the small cots in the Staff’s quarters of the hospital could not provide.
“Dr. Giles?”
“Dawn,” he said on a sigh as he turned to face her. “I’ve told you repeatedly to call me Dr. William, or just William for that matter. Dr. Giles sounds so stuffy, makes the little ones uncomfortable.”
“Yes sir, and I’m sure to start any day now.” She smiled at their joke. Dr. William Giles was the most laid back Pediatric Heart Surgeon working at Mattel Children’s hospital in Los Angeles, but he was also one of the best. Parents demanded to work with him, and children seemed to gravitate towards him. Dawn supposed it was because he made them feel so comfortable. That, and he was, in his own right, a large kid himself. It wasn’t uncommon for nurses to find Dr. Giles entertaining children in their rooms while doing rounds. He was a master at making balloon animal, and reading Harry Potter because he always “did the voices”. “I know that you’re leaving but I need you to sign these release papers for the Adam’s boy.”
“Oh yeah!” William exclaimed as he took the papers from her and signed them quickly. “I forgot that little Michael was going home tomorrow. Please tell him that I’m sorry I won’t be here to see him off but I’ll make sure to see him when he comes in for his first follow up visit.”
“I will Dr. Gi…”
“AHEM!” William interrupted her, crossing his arms feigning frustration.
“DR. GILES!” Dawn finished over his admonishing. “I said that I was sure to start any day now. That doesn’t mean today, and don’t pout, it makes you look old.” She said trying not to laugh. “Have a good night Will. Get some rest!”
“I will, try not to work too hard you stubborn bint.” With that William turned to leave, “and I believe the term is “Ruggedly handsome”, not “Old””.
“You wish!” Dawn shouted to his retreating form before rolling her eyes and returning to the nurses' station.
***
Stepping out of the elevator, William headed towards the employee exit on the west side of the hospital. He enjoyed leaving from this side of the building, even though it meant a little more of a walk for his tired feet. The hallway was lined with windows over looking the hospital gardens. The gardens were beautifully decorated with wrought iron benches and shrubs landscaped to look like different children’s storybook characters. He noticed that it had started to rain, giving the gardens a gloomy façade as opposed to its usually cheerful atmosphere. William had almost rounded the corner of the long windowed hallway when he noticed someone sitting outside in the rain. What looked to be a young blonde woman was sitting on one of the benches in the middle of the garden common area. William noted she did not have an umbrella, as she was thoroughly soaked and appeared to be holding something in her arms. Tired, and ready to get home, he started to walk the rest of the way to his car but curiosity and the sheer “doctor” in him won out and he found himself turning toward the entrance of the gardens, stepping outside and heading straight for the petite blonde woman. Not wanting to startle her, he approached the girl slowly. When he finally stood beside the bench she occupied he noticed the small bundle the she was carrying was in fact a baby. Still swaddled in the pink blanket she had been given when she was born, the baby began to cry as the rainwater splashed onto her head and face. Concerned, William decided he needed to try to get them both inside and dry.
“Excuse me Ms., are you okay?” William whispered not sure if she could hear him over the pouring rain. “Can I get you some help, or would you maybe like an umbrella?” William waited to see if the girl would answer him. At first he thought that she couldn’t hear him and was about to try again when he saw her shake her head.
“No, no umbrella. We’re fine, please leave us alone.”
“I’m sorry Ma’m, I don’t mean to pry, but you’re soaked through and there’s a bit of a chill in the air which can’t be good for the little one. At least let me walk you in side and we’ll get you both looked after yeah?” He was giving her one more opportunity to come with him. If she refused him this time he’d have to take it up with security.
“You don’t understand,” this time she looked up at him and he could see the mixture of rain and tears on her red-rimmed eyes and face. “I’m doing this for her.” As if on queue the baby began to wail again, the woman lifted her legs so that she was positioned Indian style on the bench and lifted the little girl to her shoulder cradling her there with her head tucked under her chin. “My baby is about to die, and I want her to, just once, feel the rain on her skin before she does. I don’t have anywhere to go, or anything else to give her.”
William was speechless. His heart broke for the young mother and for the baby she held in her arms. He’d made a career out of easing the minds and fears of parents by healing their children when all hope was lost and he was undeniably good at his job. He was struck with an uncontrollable urge to comfort this woman, to make her as warm as possible and to fight off the darkness that was inevitably coming. Without a word he sat down on the wet bench beside her and slowly put his arm around her shoulder. She leaned into his slight embrace, welcoming the comfort he was so willingly giving her.
“What’s your name luv?” he asked, pulling her closer to him as the rainfall began to slacken.
“Elizabeth,” she whispered, adjusting the baby so that she was nestled in between them cooing softly, “and this is Lilly”.
Song at the beginning “Let her Feel the Rain” by Tara MacleanCover Art by NoaluvJames
“If I lay here, If I just lay here
Would you lie with me,
And just forget the world.
Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old.
Show me your garden that’s
Bursting into life.
All that I am,
All that I ever was,
Is here in your perfect eyes,
They’re all I can see.
I don’t know where,
Confused about how as well.
Just know that these things will never
Change for us at all.
If I lay here, If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me and just
Forget the world.”Tick….tick…the sound of a hospital elevator ascending from floor to floor was not strange to William’s ears.
Tick…tick…tick, He had, however, never noticed how soothing the sound could be to a mind deprived of sleep. The gentle movement was strangely relaxing as he began to think back upon the events of the past week.
Tick…tick…His life, and more importantly, his routine, had been turned completely upside down and it could all be traced back to a single moment. A moment that would, once he reached his destination, change his life forever.
***“What’s your name luv?” he asked, pulling her closer to him as the rainfall began to slacken.
“Elizabeth,” she whispered, adjusting the baby so that she was nestled in between them cooing softly, “and this is Lilly”.
He never left her side. Even after security found them and escorted Elizabeth upstairs to the NICU, and then into a private room they usually set aside for parents to stay the night when they're children had been admitted. He wouldn’t leave her, and she wouldn’t let go of Lilly. A nurse William didn’t recognize pleaded with Elizabeth to let her change Lilly into a dry diaper and pajamas but she wouldn’t hear of it, for fear they would take her away.
“But Ms. Summers, it’s hospital policy that we keep an on going inventory of everything that goes out including diapers and clothing. They’re just down the hall in the nursery, and if you’ll let me, I’ll bring her right back to you. You have my word.” Elizabeth's only response was the vigorous shaking of her head, and a tightening grip on a restless Lilly. William could see this was going nowhere fast.
“Excuse me,” he interjected quickly, “couldn’t you make an exception just this once?” When the nurse started again about policies and inventory, William got annoyed. “I’m sorry, what was your name again?”
“It’s Kendall sir, Harmony Kendall.”
“Ms. Kendall, are you new here?”
“Y-yes sir, I just started about a week ago, I’m a new graduate from UC…”
“Fascinating,” William interrupted her taking his badge out of his pocket as he did. “Tell me Harmony, may I call you Harmony?” On her nod, he continued, “Fantastic, Tell me Harmony, do you know what this is?” He tossed her his photo ID badge complete with name and title. She nodded again, and he continued, “Can you tell me what it says?”
“William E. Giles MD. Cardiology” she read slowly.
“Very good, and do you know what that means?” He asked. He knew he was being arrogant but given the circumstances and the dimwitted look of accomplishment on the nurse’s face when she finished reading his ID card, he was having a hard time feeling guilty about his attitude.
“It means that you’re a…doctor?” She responded, obviously confused as to where he was headed.
“Good girl, don’t be afraid just shout them out when you know. And do you know what being a Doctor means?” she shook her head, afraid to answer, “Well, I’ll tell you,"he continued, "it means that when I tell you to do something, you do it, no questions asked, no comments made and certainly no long spiel about how keeping inventory on a diaper is so important. Now, maybe I didn’t make myself clear before but that was not a request. You will make an exception in this particular case. You will go and retrieve the things Ms. Summers needs to change her daughter. If there is a problem at the end of the month with a shortage, I will personally replace what Ms. Summers needs. Now run along like a good girl and do as your told.” With that he snatched his ID Badge out of Harmony’s now trembling hand and turned his back on her, the sound of the door closing the only sign that she had in fact left the room.
“I think you made her cry,” Elizabeth whispered from across the room. Sometime during the confrontation with the nurse she had begun to feed Lilly. She covered herself with a hospital gown that was sitting on the bed and William suddenly felt like an intruder.
“I’m sorry, I don’t usually get that way but sometimes the newbies are so set on doing things by the book, the don’t know when to pick their battles. Would you like me to leave you alone while you take care of the little one?” Elizabeth shook her head,
“No, I’m fine, childbirth sort of throws modesty out the window. Besides, I’m covered pretty well here.” William sat down on the edge of the bed, watching her discreetly feed her daughter. He was so mesmerized by the noises Lilly was making that the sound of Elizabeth’s voice startled him, making him jump. “So you’re a cardiologist?”
“I’m sorry what?” She smiled at the dazed expression on his face,
“You’re a cardiologist?”
“Yes, I’m a pediatric cardiologist.”
“Hmm,” she said thoughtfully, “you save lives. That must make it really easy for you to sleep at night.”
“Elizabeth?” He wasn’t sure where she was going with this, and he didn’t want to upset her.
“Please, call me Buffy.”
“Buffy?”
She smiled at the look on his face, “When I was younger my parents called me Bethy, and I loved to refer to myself in the third person. “This is Bethy’s milk, Bethy’s chair, things like that. The only problem was, I couldn’t say Bethy, it came out Buffy and it stuck. Lucky me.”
They were distracted by a quiet knock on the door. When William answered it he saw nurse Harmony had returned with the things for Lilly and a fresh dry robe for Buffy. William took them from her, nodded his appreciation and then shut the door. “Here you go Luv.” He handed the items over to her and quickly moved away as she laid Lilly down on the bed to change her. “I should let you spend sometime with her, I’ll leave you two alone. If you want I can give…”
“Please don’t leave me.” He paused at her request. “I don’t want to be alone, when it happens, I’d like to have someone here with me, someone that at least seems to care because they want to, not because they’re being paid to. I know I don’t know you that well, or at all but does this even begin to make sense?”
He nodded, “Of course it does luv. I’ll stay as long as you want me to.”
“It’s going to hurt isn’t it?" He tilted his head in response, and she continued. "When she…it’s going to hurt.”
He had no idea how to answer that question. Yes, it was going to hurt. He was lucky enough to say that during his tenure at the hospital he had yet to lose a patient, however, he had at one time been an intern and seen the aftermath the death of a child could cause on a parent. There was no preparation, no mind easing word he could come up with to take her impending pain away. For the second time today William felt helpless.
“You know what I want to do?” He asked, trying to break the tension. Buffy shook her head, “I want to take a picture of you two.” He took his cell phone out of his pocket, and silently hoped he didn’t screw this up. Unfortunately, he’d let some twelve-year-old sales person convince him to buy a phone that far surpassed his needs. He was convinced that if he took the time he could teach it to do his taxes all on it's own. He looked at the front of the phone hoping that the camera feature would jump out at him somehow. He could tell you every valve of the human heart by name and point them out blindfolded, but he couldn’t figure out how to take a snapshot on his cell phone, go figure.
“Do you need some help with that?”
“Would you mind? It’s fairly new and I’ve not had much of a chance to play with the features, but you must promise to keep this to yourself, or else I’ll be forced to turn in my “man” card.
“It’s no problem. Here, we'll switch.” William felt a swell of pride as he took the Lilly into his arms. Buffy had been so adamant since they were escorted back inside that no one was to touch the baby but herself and she’d given her over to William freely.
“She’s so tiny.” He whispered staring down into the newborn’s face. “Just like an angel.” He was so distracted by her he barely noticed the clicking noise of his phone snapping a picture of the two of them.
“I think I got it to work.” Buffy smiled at the image now captured on her phone. “It takes pretty good pictures for a phone.”
“What’s wrong with her?" He asked suddenly, never looking away from Lilly's tiny face. "Have you gotten a second opinion?”
“She...she has a congenital heart defect, or defects more accurately. She has 3 holes in her heart, each a little bit bigger than the first. It’s actually not as uncommon as it sounds," Buffy laughed a little at that, "I'm telling you all this as if you don't know what a "congenital heart defect is."
"It's really okay. Please continue." he urged never taking his eyes off of Lilly’s hand that was now wrapped around his index finger.
Elizabeth smiled gratefully before she continued. "I had the same thing when I was a baby but to have 3 and for them to be the size they are her doctor classified her as inoperable.”
“Who was your consulting surgeon? I could have a talk with them and see if there’s something we or I could do.” God! Anything but her heart, he could fix hearts.
***“DING,” The sound of the elevator reaching his destination jarred him from his memories. He looked up at the illuminated numbers above his head and sighed,
13th floor, here we go again. As he stepped off of the elevator he couldn’t help but take notice of how dreary this place was. He was used to his hospital. The walls were painted bright colors with cartoon murals to calm the minds of the children under their care, as opposed to the bleak institutionalized décor he was now looking at.
“Hey Dr. Giles, right on time. She’s just had her lunch,” an orderly spoke up from behind him.
"Hey Parker" William quickly turned and shook the orderly's hand. "Any change today?"
“No sir, she hasn’t spoken a word in going on a week. Her doctor is set to release her on Monday but to be honest, I’m not sure we have anywhere to release her to.”
I don’t have anywhere to go, or anything else to give her.“Yeah I know.” William sighed as he started down the long hallway to his destination. A small private room marked “Summers” on the door.
*Song at the beginning: Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol.How to Save a Life by zeta0497
Author's Notes:
Sorry I missed updating last week! My birthday was last weekend, and then my sisters baby shower was this weekend and...WOW I've been busy. I'm going to try to stick with a Tuesday Thursday updating schedule but things will undoubtedly come up. Just know that I plan on updating this story on a regular basis and as often as possible :-)
Cover Art by NoaluvJames
Step one, you say we need to talk.
He walks, you say sit down it's just a talk.
He smiles politely back at you,
You stare politely right on through.
Some sort of window to your right.
As he goes left and you stay right.
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came.
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness.
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I know how to save a life.
Let him know that you know best
Cuz after all, you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along.
And pray to God he hears you.
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness.
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I know how to save a life.
As he begins to raise his voice,
You lower yours and grant him one last choice.
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed.
He will do one of two things.
He will admit to everything,
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came.
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness.
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I know how to save a life.William stood in front of the open doorway to the hospital room for a while just observing. Buffy was sitting in a chair opposite the door. Her knees pulled up to her chest as she stared expressionless out the window and onto the parking lot below.
He could see the slow rise and fall of her chest as she took deep breaths, almost as if she were sleeping. Her eyes, however, were open and unfocused.
Slowly William began to count backwards from 20, his eyes not wavering from hers as he did. He reached 10 on a whisper and she blinked allowing him to release the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.
Her gaze was drifting now following a wasp that was buzzing around her window. Effectively proving to him that not only was she awake, but coherent to her surroundings.
“Afternoon Buffy.” He walked into her room and took the chair opposite hers.
“Just thought I’d stop by on my way home, see how they were treating you here.” At the sound of his voice she turned to face him, but did not respond. Truthfully William didn’t expect her to. Parker’s words echoing in his ear,
she hasn’t spoken a word in going on a week, but he could hope. Right?
“So, I hear they’re going to be releasing you tomorrow. That must feel good. To know that you’ll be going home soon.” At the mention of home Buffy looked away from William quickly, her gaze returning to the window.
“If you’d like pet, William continued, trying to keep her focused, “I could come by tomorrow, see you off, offer my lifting and carrying services if you’re interested. My rates are quite reasonable and I’m quite….”
Her head had shifted away from the window but Buffy couldn’t bring herself to look at him. She kept her head slightly turned and down as she shook it, declining his offer.
William nodded trying to ignore the disappointment he felt at her rejection. “It’s okay Buffy, I get it. You’re going to be right busy tomorrow. I’m going to leave my number with Parker though. If you need me you just let him know and he’ll ring me straight away. I don’t live far away so I can be here just as quickly as you need me to.”
Buffy continued to sit silently as he talked to her about his day, about having drinks with Dawn and his other friends every Thursday after work. Tomorrow was Thursday and he would inevitably join them as he always did. Apparently his friend Xander was planning on popping the question to his girlfriend and he wanted to do it during their weekly get together surrounded by their friends. He went on and on telling her everything, and nothing at the same time. His words became like white noise and he knew that she wasn’t really listening to him, he was just a background and that was okay. He wanted to help her, and if helping her meant that he became nothing more than elevator music that was just fine with him. He talked about growing up in England, moving here when he was just a boy with his father. Growing up into a right book worm until he went to college, lost his virginity and, thanks to his then girlfriend, got a complete make over and attitude to boot.
“They called me Spike back then. My girlfriend at the time, Dru was her name, she liked to stir up trouble. She didn’t know when to say no, and certainly didn’t know when to back down so she’d get herself in too deep and I’d have to dig her out. It got bad one night and I threatened this bloke with a railroad spike. I didn’t even know what a rail road spike was, but I thought it sounded cool so I said it, and it stuck. I don’t go by Spike much anymore, only a few people call me that now.”
He rambled on and on and still she sat, unmoved by his stories and unwilling to make eye contact with him.
“Well pet, it’s getting late and I better get home and get some rest, gotta work tomorrow. I’m going to leave my number with Parker like I said I would. If you need anything tomorrow you make sure to give me a call.”
He turned to leave, walking slowly towards the door, waiting for something, any sign from her that she didn’t want him to leave. He stopped before walking out the wood framed exit and turned to look at her, still staring at the window she hadn’t moved. Shaking his head William sighed and closed the door behind him as he left.
***“So Billy boy, where have you been the past couple of days?” William’s friend Xander asked handing him one of the beers he’d just retrieved from the bar. “And don’t say that you’ve been working or I’ll sick Dawn on you.”
William took his beer and nodded his thanks. “Taking care of some personal business mate. You know, the kind that’s none of yours.”
“Ouch man!” Xander said as he settled back into the booth across from his friend. “You know the last time you were “taking care of personal business,” it involved that dumb ass waste of space you were dating, what was her name?”
“Eve, and no, it has nothing to do with Eve or anyone like Eve for that matter.”
“So you admit that it has to do with someone. Care to say who?”
“I didn’t admit anything whelp and drop it or you’re going to be wearing this table for the rest of the night. It’s not up for discussion.” William threatened taking a sip of his beer.
Xander held up his hands in defense. “Okay man, this is me, backing off. Where do you think the girls ran off to for so long?” Changing the subject was a good thing.
“They went to ogle obnoxiously at Anya’s ring. Didn’t you know that’s what ladies rooms are for?” At Xander’s confused look he continued, “Oh come on mate, you can’t possibly think that they have to honestly use the bloody bathroom…” his cell phone vibrating in his pocket distracted him, “hold that thought,” he said flipping the phone open.
“Dr. William Giles….Parker. How is…everything? I see. No! No, that won’t be necessary, I’m on my way.”
Snapping his phone shut William stood and grabbed his jacket off of the back of the booth he and Xander occupied.
“Sorry mate, hate to rush off but something’s come up and I have to fly. Can you tell Anya that I’m...”
“That you’re what? And you better not say that you’re leaving.” The tiny blonde said coming up behind him. “This is my engagement celebration on top of our weekly night of drinking fun and you’re not bailing on me.”
“Sorry ducks, I have to, work stuff.” Grabbing her into a tight hug, “I’ll make it up to you I promise.”
“Yeah yeah, it’s not every day that your best friend gets engaged to the most perfect woman in the world but I get it. Saving lives is obviously more important than spending time with your friends. I’ll get over it, eventually.” She sighed pretending to be hurt but not being able to hide the hint of disappointment in her voice.
He looked down at her to see her smirking up at him. “Not nice to tease Ahn. I’ll call you and Xander tomorrow and we’ll figure out a good time for me to take you both to lunch.” With that he kissed her forehead and took off towards the exit.
“What do you suppose that was about?” Xander asked as Anya sat, snuggling up to his side..
Dawn slid into the booth opposite Xander, taking William’s place. “I’m not sure” she said watching as his head disappeared out the door of the pub they frequented every Thursday, “but I’m going to find out.”
**Song at the beginning: "How to Save a Life" by The Fray **Author's Notes:
I had such a fantastic response to my most recent chapter it sent my muse into hyperdrive. I'm posting chapter 4 today and will hopefully have chapter 5 and possibly chapter 6 ready by the weekend. Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed. I started writing this story simply because it settled in my brain and wouldn't go away. I guess I never took into consideration that people might actually like it, and everyone has been so encouraging :-)
Chapter 4 is what I would call an "in between" chapter. It's longish, and it's soul purpose is to move the story along. I understand if you think it's boring. It's actually been the hardest one to write so far so...I hope you like it *crosses fingers*
I will say this. Speechless Buffy will be coming to an end soon. It's effective right now but I know that if it continues...it's going to get old quickl. In fact, I've already started outlining the chapter where she will come back to the land of the vocal and I'll go ahead and warn you...it's rough as in ANGSTY...but necessary.
Cover Art by NoaluvJames
I can’t run anymore
I fall down before you.
Here I am.
I have nothing left.
Though I’ve tried to forget,
You’re all that I am.
Take me home,
I’m through fighting it.
Broken, Lifeless,
I give up.
You’re my only strength
Without you,
I can’t go on,
Anymore, Ever again
My only hope (All the times I’ve tried)
My only peace (To walk away from you)
My only joy, My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power, My only life,
(And love is where I am) My only love.
I can’t run anymore.
I give myself to you,
I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
In all my bitterness,
I ignored all that’s real and true.
All I need is you.
When night falls down on me,
I’ll not close my eyes.
I’m too alive,
And you’re too strong.
I can’t lie anymore,
I fall down before you.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
My only hope (All the times I’ve tried)
My only peace (To walk away from you)
My only joy, My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power, My only life,
(And love is where I am) My only love
Constantly ignoring the pain consuming me.
But this time it’s cut too deep. I’ll never stray again.---------------------------------------------------------------------------
“You’re going to get a parking ticket.”That was the last thought that William had before he slammed his car into park unfastening the seat belt at the same time. He turned off his ignition and barely remembered to grab the keys to his BMW Z4 before he jumped out of the car and ran, leaving his vehicle to fend for itself in the loading zone.
He took the steps to the main entrance of Cedar Sinai hospital two at a time, and made it to the main entrance doors in what he was sure was a record time. As he neared the front reception desk he saw Parker and instantly slowed, realizing he was desperately out of breath.
“Where is she?” William panted when he reached Parker. He had yet to make eye contact with him as he was carefully scanning the lobby.
Parker walked around the front desk, “Come with me,” he said indicating their direction with his head. They walked down a long corridor of offices and supply closets, “She’s been out there all day. I thought she was waiting for a ride or something.”
They reached the end of the hallway and a side exit to the hospital. William looked outside the tall glass door and that’s when he saw her. Buffy was sitting outside on the step to the entrance. She had a small backpack slung on her shoulder and a duffle bag with the Cedar Sinai logo sitting next to her. Her hair was pulled back into a sloppy ponytail and she wore the same clothes she had on the day he met her.
“Did you call her family?”
Parker shook his head. “No man, I asked her if she wanted me to call someone for her and she wouldn’t even acknowledge that I was there. I didn’t know what else to do so I called you. I didn’t mean to bothe”
William shook his head quickly, “I’m glad you called. I’m going to go talk to her and see what I can figure out. I’ll get her a cab or give her a ride somewhere if she needs it.” Parker nodded and started to walk away, stopping when William grabbed his arm,
“Thank you for calling me.”
“No problem man,” with that Parker walked away.
William’s attention was once again turned back to the tiny blonde sitting all alone on a staircase that lead down to the dark streets of Los Angeles.
“Buffy, kitten are you alright?” At the sound of her name she turned to him. Her face was expressionless for a moment. As he came towards her she began to shake her head and turned away, not wanting to face him, not wanting him to know.
William noticed she was trying to pull away from him but he would not be deterred. He was going to help this girl whether she liked it or not.
“Parker called me, said that you’d been sitting out here all day. Are you waiting for your ride?” Her only response was to turn away from him that much more.
“Buffy, look at me. Please pet. Please look at me?”
William could tell that he was starting to break through when she spared him a quick glance over her shoulder. “I want to help you Buffy. If you need help I can give it to you but you have to look at me.”
Taking a seat on the stoop beside her, he put a hand on her shoulder. William knew it was an intrepid move but decided that if he didn’t want to be out here with her all night he needed to start taking larger steps.
Feeling the weight of his hand on her she turned, facing more forward than toward him and let out a breath she’d been holding since he first said her name.
“Buffy, I’m going to ask you a few questions and I want you to answer them for me okay?” She nodded her approval and he continued. “Do you have a ride or someone you can call?” Looking down at her worn tennis shoes, she shook her head sadly.
“What about a place to stay?” Again she shook her head, confirming she did not.
“Do you want to stay here?”
William wasn’t sure what happened but hearing his question set something off in Buffy. He wasn’t sure what it was when she turned to look in his eyes for the first time since he’d walked out the side entrance of the hospital. When she stood and began to gather her bags, getting ready to run, he identified it as fear.
“Whoa, Buffy wait.” He went to reach for her and she quickly pulled away. Her eyes were wild, looking from side to side like a caged animal looking for a means to escape. He held his hands up in a gesture of truce, “I’m not going to make you stay here Buffy. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to.”
William could see her breath coming in pants and was afraid she was going to hyperventilate. She closed her eyes and he could see her visibly trying to calm herself. Eyes still closed she nodded.
“Right then, I’m going to ask you again, and it’s your call. Do you want to stay here?” Vehemently Buffy shook her head, bringing her arms around herself in a comforting hug.
William knew that he needed to get her out of here. Obviously she didn’t have anywhere to go and he couldn’t just drop her off at the nearest shelter. He’d promised to help this girl and was determined to do what he needed to make sure she was taken care of. Making a decision he spoke quickly,
“Do you want to come home with me?
***
Opening the door to his 2-bedroom condominium in downtown Los Angeles, William tried to balance the mixture of bags he carried in his arms. Buffy’s backpack was slung over his shoulder, along with the duffle she’d received from the hospital. He also carried two grocery bags filled with cartons of Chinese take out he’d stopped to pick up on the ride home. He stepped inside the apartment and leaned against the large burgundy door holding it open.
“Come on in kitten”
Timidly Buffy walked into the spacious dwelling taking in her surroundings. The foyer opened up into a larger living room with cathedral ceilings. A hallway opposite to where she was standing, illuminated in the soft yellow glow of a night light housed, she supposed the bathroom and bedroom of the apartment. The rest of the space was dark and still.
“There are two bedrooms. The wash room is just down the hall there,” William motioned with his body as he made his way into the house flipping on lights with his shoulder exposing a large kitchen right off of the living room and a formal dining room directly to her right.
“Just let me put this stuff down and we’ll have something to eat. I’m sure you must be hungry.” William busied himself with placing the take out on the counter of his kitchen along with his keys. “Why don’t you come in and sit down pet. I’m going to run your stuff back to the guest room, and change clothes and then we’ll dish this up.” Walking into his living room he turned on a tableside lamp and then reaching for the remote control to the television.
Buffy was still waiting quietly in the foyer. He walked over to her and took her hand. “It’s okay pet.” Walking her into the living room he sat her down on his plush leather couch. “You sit here and I’ll be back in just a minute.” Handing her the remote control he noticed her flinch away from him and instantly pulled back.
“Just thought that you might like to watch the telly while I change.” He turned the T.V. on and this time set the remote on the coffee table in front of her. “You make yourself comfortable I’ll be right back.”
Watching him walk down the hall Buffy took in her surroundings. The apartment was cozy she decided. He had chosen to decorate in Black and cream as his main colors with accents of red here and there. His furniture was all black leather with cream pillows and red throws and coordinating glass tables to match. Every piece of the décor, right down to the High Definition Plasma television that hung on his wall screamed masculinity.
She stared blankly at the television. The nightly news was on but she wasn’t listening to what they were saying, it didn’t matter. She was tired. She hadn’t slept, even in the hospital. She let the nurses and orderlies fuss over her at bedtime, making sure she got into bed okay. She would even, on occasion, let them tuck her in, but sleep would never take her. She would lie there until morning like she was supposed to, praying to fall asleep and never wake up. She wondered if she’d ever be able to calm her mind enough to be able to sleep again.
She felt comfortable here, more so in fact than she had in a while. She leaned back into the soft cushions and closed her eyes. Assuring herself she would be alert when William returned.
“Did you find something on T.V. pet?” William asked stepping out of his bedroom and padding down the hall in a t-shirt and flannel pajama pants. “Sorry it took me so long I decided on a shower,” He paused when he reentered the living room and saw Buffy curled into a heap on his couch sound asleep.
Her body was turned so that her back was nestled into the corner of the couch, her legs still dangling over the edge and her arms at her side. Her head was slouched so, that William could tell that if he didn’t move her it would be unbearably sore in the morning.
Quietly he walked over to her and bent to take off her shoes. Lifting her legs up onto the couch and gently pulling her so she was lying down in order to relieve the pressure on her neck. Placing a small pillow behind her head he stood up and looked at her for a moment before walking quietly back into the kitchen.
William made quick work of taking the Chinese food cartons out of the grocery bags the restaurant had placed them in and into the refrigerator.
Turning off the harsh kitchen light he made his way back to Buffy’s sleeping form. Reassuring him self that she was still there. He took a deep red throw from the back of his black leather easy chair and draped it over her. Leaning down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead.
“Good night Buffy, sleep well.”
Turning off the table lamp William retreated back to his room, giving into a night of what he was sure would be a restless evening.
Song at the beginning: "October" by EvanescenceReach for Me. by zeta0497
Author's Notes:
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! I'm going to try to update this thing before Thanksgiving but you know how the holidays are :-)
Thank you SOOOOOOO MUCH to NoaluvJames!!! She is so lovely and made my pretty cover art image. Isn't it BEAUTIFUL! *hugs to you girl*
Sorry for the lame summary...I couldn't think of
Thank you so much to NoaluvJames for my beautiful prezzie!!!!Cover art by NoaluvJames
Why did you look the other way
When I told you I had something to say
Can you imagine that
Can you imagine that it could be
Why do you scream at everything unfair
Tell me would you know the truth if it were there
If you would reach for me
If you would reach for me, it could be
Something real
When your faith has left before the morning
Someone there softly breathing
A body to awaken
When the time comes to tear you
A cruel enemy
You could hold onto me
What is there that strips you of your pride
There is nothing left of you inside
If you would reach for me
If you would reach for me it could be
Something real
When your faith has left before the morning
Someone there softly breathing
A body to awaken
When the time comes to tear you
A cruel enemy
You could hold onto me.
William awoke to a loud crash coming from the living room. Jumping out of bed and putting on his clothes he grabbed a baseball bat that he kept tucked in between his headboard and nightstand. You could never be too careful living alone in Downtown L.A.
He began to tiptoe towards the door to his bedroom when it hit him, there was a burglar in his house, in his living room, and Buffy was asleep on his couch. Gripped with fear he turned the door knob to his bedroom and carefully walked out into the long, dark hallway, baseball bat at the ready just in case.
Peering around stopping short of his living room, he pressed himself against the wall as much as he could and listened, hoping the darkness of the house would shroud him long enough to gain the opportunity to make a move.
That’s when he heard her.
He could hear a woman crying. He could hear Buffy crying and he went into cave man mode.
Must. Keep. Buffy. Safe.His brain was repeating this mantra over and over again when he lunged into the living room, ready to fend off any attacker he may find there. What he saw instead chilled him to the bone.
In the darkness he could make out Buffy’s small form, huddled in the corner between his kitchen and the sliding glass door leading to his porch. He reached over quickly and turned on the overhead light to the lowest setting illuminating the room in a soft white glow.
He placed the baseball bat down slowly and made his way over to Buffy’s trembling figure. He could see the lamp that used to occupy the end table closest to his couch had been smashed into pieces. There was a line of blood marring the floor leading up to the space she now occupied.
He had no way to tell how severe her injuries were, and he knew he needed to take a look at her. Not wanting to scare her anymore than she already was, he dropped to his knees and slowly began to crawl.
“Buffy. Love, what happened?” The sound of his voice made her jump and she buried her face in her hands trying to hide herself completely.
William sat up on his knees when he finally reached her. He could see that she had a long cut on her knee and several smaller nicks on her lower legs. The obvious result of crawling from the couch to the corner.
Gently William attempted to pry her hands away from her face. “Buffy, I need to get a look at you.” Using a little more force he got both of her hands in his and was able to inspect her a little bit better.
There was blood all over and he couldn’t discern one wound from another with her in this condition. He needed to get her cleaned up and fast.
“Buffy, look at me. Elizabeth, I need you to hear me. We’ve got to get you cleaned up, I’m going to take you to the bathroom so we can wash this stuff off of you okay.” She looked up at him, still sniffling her tears away and nodded.
“Right then,” William nodded in response and lifted her easily into his arms. Careful not to step on any of the glass that was scattered around his living room floor, he carried her to the bathroom.
Setting her gently down on the counter beside the sink he grabbed a washcloth from the medicine cabinet, wet the cloth with luke warm water and began to inspect the damage she’d done. All of the cuts on her legs seemed to have just broken the skin. The one on her knee was deep but nothing a butterfly bandage wouldn’t take care of. He was surprised and relieved when he found that her arms were un-cut, all of the blood having been from hugging her knees close to her on the floor.
Without thinking William walked over and turned on his shower, turning the dials and testing the water until he was satisfied with the temperature. He walked back over to Buffy who was sitting, almost catatonic, on his counter.
“Buffy, you need to hop in the shower pet, before we dress the cut on your knee okay.” He started to leave to give her some privacy but she grabbed his arm, asking her with her eyes to not leave her alone. He stared at her for a moment, understanding passing between them. She was afraid.
Sighing William pushed away the voice inside of him telling him to walk away and he helped her off the counter. Her clothes were covered in blood and he knew that they were ruined. “I’ll be right back pet I promise, you stay right there.”
Leaving the bathroom he quickly walked to his kitchen, making a mental note to be careful of the glass that he had yet to clean up. Grabbing a trash bag from his cabinet he made his way back to Buffy.
Walking back into the bathroom he found her sitting Indian style on the toilet holding a piece of wadded up tissue paper to her knee.
“You don’t want to do that love,” he told her rushing to grab the tissue. She flinched away from him when he grabbed it and he slowed his movements. “Buffy you don’t have to be afraid of me. I just don’t want you to get paper inside of your cut. It’ll get infected that way.” Looking up at him she nodded and hugged her arms around her middle slowly rocking herself back and forth.
William took her hand and pulled her to stand in front of him. Hanging the trash bag on the towel rack behind him he gently grasped the hem of her shirt. Looking into her eyes for permission she nodded slightly and he lifted it over her head.
William knew it was wrong but he couldn’t help but take in the sight of her. He’d undressed women before but only in the throes of passion and never really took time to appreciate the beauty in the act it self. She was remarkable in ways he’d never noticed on a woman before, and that was above and beyond her body. He was a guy, he couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous she was, but it was more than that. The trust she gave him every time he touched her made her that much more beautiful.
Standing in front of him clothed only in a bra made entirely of lace, and matching panties William knew he needed to give her some privacy, for both of their sakes. Turning his back to her and facing the wall he said, “I’ll let you take care of the rest.”
He could hear her undressing her self and closed his eyes.
Stop being such a bloody git! He berated himself.
She’s coming to you for help, not so you can ogle her every chance you get. You’re lucky she didn’t notice you looking at her. That’s the last thing she needs. The sound of the shower door closing brought him back to the here and now. “I’m just going to step out pet, grab some clean clothes for you. I’ll be right back.” Moving quickly out of the bathroom and shutting the door behind him William stood with his back leaning against the frame of the door. Closing his eyes he counted back wards from 10, bringing himself back down to earth.
“Get it together whelp,” he muttered to himself as he walked across the hall to the guest bedroom where he’d put Buffy’s things. Opening up her backpack he rummaged through it quickly trying to find something suitable for her to sleep in. She only had another pair of jeans and 2 t-shirt packed in the small bag. All of which were visibly dirty. She also had another pair of tennis shoes, 2 pairs of socks and large toothed comb. He gathered all of her clothes and walked over to the laundry closet directly beside the bathroom. He threw her things into the washing machine, set the time to click on in an hour, and headed into his bedroom collecting a black t-shirt and a pair of boxers.
Returning to the bathroom he knocked on the door to alert Buffy of his presence before he entered. “I’ve got you some P.J.s, here pet. I’m just going to lay them here on the…” The sound of a quiet sob interrupted him and he listened carefully. He could hear Buffy crying over the rushing water of the shower. Turning towards her all he could see was her form, blurred by the glass of the shower door huddled on the floor, rocking gently back and forth.
His first instinct was to hold her. Climb into the shower, fully clothed and let her find comfort in his arms. He stopped himself before he could reach the handle to the door. She needed this. She needed to cry, to go through what ever it was she needed to go through and there was no way he could keep her from that. William ached for her. Unable to understand what she was going through and incapable of being able to protect her from it, he buried his face in his hands and cried right along with her.
Song at the beginning: "Reach" by Tara Maclean
Author's Notes:
Warning: This is an angsty one, and it's a little worse than the previous chapters because we find out a little more about what's happened to Lilly. It was rediculously hard to write but I hope you enjoy reading it.
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. You guys are awesome!
Thank you so much to NoaluvJames for my beautiful prezzie!!!!Cover art by NoaluvJames
Wrapped inside a twisted world
I can’t decide what is even real anymore
As though I ever knew
Tangled in these silhouettes
Floating face down in a river of regrets
And thoughts of you
Holy Tears
They Linger on
Holding you
My light
Forever gone
You believed she’d never leave
Rosy cheeked and oh so young
And full of flame
Here in this bed of emptiness
Button by button I come undone
And only twenty-one
Holy Tears
They linger on
Holding you
My life
Forever gone
Gone like the broken words at your feet
You’re gone in the venom lips that kiss me
Sweetly Gone like a frightened bird into the sky
Won’t you take everything I ever had
And leave me to die as I cry
Holy Tears
They linger on
Holding you
My love
Forever Gone.“Hi Fred, it’s Will. Look, I’ve had a…well…it’s sort of…. a…family emergency, and it doesn’t look like I’m going to be able to make it in today. I’m not on the board for a procedure but I will miss my rounds, so someone will need to cover those for me. I’m going to have my cell phone on me if you need to get in touch. Thanks Fred.”
Hitting the end button on his cell phone William sighed. He didn’t like calling off of work, and he hated lying about his reasons. To be fair, what excuse could he give to his chief of staff? He certainly couldn’t tell her he’d taken in a complete stranger with a quite possibly permanent mental condition. He didn’t understand his connection to Buffy, how could he expect any one else to?
He’d take the day tomorrow and see if he could continue to try to break through to her. Try to find out where her family was and if they would be willing to help her. If not, he didn’t know where that would put them. Buffy was welcome to stay with him for as long as she needed to, but then what?
Just then William heard his Bathroom door open. Buffy stepped out into the hallway dressed in his boxers and t-shirt, towel drying her damp hair. “Feel better pet?” He asked as he walked over to where she was standing now fumbling with the damp towel in her hand. Let’s get you bandaged up and then off to bed. You could use a good night’s sleep yeah?”
With his hand on her shoulder he lead her into the master bedroom, sitting her down on the king size bed occupying the center of the room. Retreating to his bathroom he grabbed a first aid kit, and a clean washcloth and returned to the bedroom to find Buffy sound asleep. She looked like she had fallen straight backward as her legs still dangled over the foot of the bed while her hands rested on her stomach.
Probably better this way William thought to himself as he knelt before her and began dressing the cut on her knee.
This is going to sting and I don’t want to freak her out anymore tonight. She had, for the most part stopped bleeding, which was a good sign but William didn’t want to take any chances. He tore open the hydrogen peroxide wipes and gently pressed it onto her knee. When the wet cloth made contact with her cut Buffy’s leg twitched slightly, her skin protesting the sting even in her unconscious state. William made quick work of disinfecting the wound and quickly placing two butterfly bandages at either end of it.
Standing he returned the items to the bathroom and closed the door.
Okay Giles you have a couple of options here. You could 1. Go in there, pick her up and put her in the guest bedroom along with her things, wish her a good night’s sleep, come back in here and pray she doesn’t have another episode. 2. You could let her sleep in here since she’s already out, and you could go bunk on the couch. Or, 3 You could suck it up, stop acting and thinking like a bloody schoolboy and let her sleep in the bed with you. So what’s it going to be?Remembering the state his living room was in, and that he had yet to clean up the broken glass from his lamp he eliminated option 2, which left him with a decision between option 1, carrying her to the place he’d deemed would be “her room” for the time being or option 2. Let her stay in his room, just for one night. This option appealed to him simply because if she were to spook herself again he would be right there to help calm her down in a hurry, if need be.
Option 2 it is then.Walking back over to the bed, William approached Buffy quietly so as to not wake her. He grasped under her arms and gently lifted and pulled until she was lying with her whole body on the bed, her head on one of his pillows. After tucking her in he moved around to the other side and climbed in under the covers. Thankful he had such a large bed so that he could keep his distance. He didn’t want to scare her or make her any more uncomfortable than she already was.
He lay there for a moment just watching her. Buffy looked so peaceful in sleep and for a moment William wished she could stay that way. That she could sleep herself into a world where troubles could not find her and the hard, painful reality of the world melted away.
“Yeah, they have a name for sleep like that”, he thought to himself, “they call that death.”Shaking his head he turned with his back to Buffy.
”And that’s something you definitely don’t want,” was his last thought before he closed his eyes and a restless sleep claimed him once again.
***William awoke to the sound of a woman screaming causing him to leave the chair he’d fallen asleep in turned over onto the floor. He was disoriented for a split second before he remembered where he was.
He was at the hospital in a room with Buffy. She and Lilly had fallen asleep together on the bed and he’d taken up the chair. Buffy had requested he be there when she woke up and for some reason he couldn’t tell her no.
Now witnessing what was going on before him, he was glad he stayed. Buffy was hysterical. Apparently while they’d been sleeping her nurse had come into the room to check in on Lilly. Working the child out of Buffy’s embrace woke her and now she was fighting to get her daughter back.
“No! No, I won’t let you take her away. She needs to see me; she needs to know that I was there for her. Please don’t take her from me. GIVE ME MY BABY!” Two orderlies had taken hold of Buffy’s arms and were trying to restrain her from the nurse who was now carrying Lilly towards the door.
“Hey now, none of that is necessary.” William exclaimed leaping into action, pulling one of the orderlies away from Buffy and gathering what he could of her in his arms. The orderly to her right still had a hold of her, until William gave him a look that meant death to anyone who tried to challenge him. Letting her go, he held up his hands in retreat and backed away from the pair.
“Excuse me, Nurse, couldn’t you let the child stay with her mother. You can see that she’s distraught and wants to be by her daughter’s side when…”
“I’m sorry,” the faceless nurse said over her shoulder, “I’m so sorry but it’s too late,” with that she carried Lilly’s tiny body out of the room and away from Buffy forever. What happened next, William was sure will stay with him forever. There was a noise. A horrific screeching sound of pain and ultimate sorrow so loud that it made him clutch Buffy tighter, his gaze dancing around the room trying to find the source of it and wanting to get her as far away as possible. That was when reality came crashing back to him; the noise was coming from Buffy.***He awoke with a start, gasping for air and clutching the sheet to himself. Closing his eyes and taking deep breaths he tried to calm his nerves. It wasn’t an unusual dream, in fact he’d dreamt of Lilly’s death, in some way every night since it happened but it wasn’t something he thought he would ever get used to.
He could feel Buffy stir beside him and quickly looked to see if she was still asleep. During the night they’d moved closer to each other and now she was right next to him, her hand splayed across his stomach. When she would breath her tiny hand would move lightly back and forth across his muscles soothing away his anxiety from the dream and ushering in a whole new world of worry.
William was a doctor and any teenager who’d taken a health class could tell you that it was not an uncommon event for a man to wake up with an erection, or “morning wood” as it was so commonly called. But, this morning that common fact of life was being accentuated by the presence of a gorgeous woman who, incidentally, was sharing his bed, and now had her hand unconsciously massaging his stomach. He was painfully hard and desperately needed some sort of release or there would be hell to pay.
Lifting Buffy’s hand off of his stomach and resting it at her side, he quietly made his way out of bed and into the bathroom. Closing the door quickly he turned on the bathroom sink and lifted the lid to the toilet.
Don’t think about Buffy, Don’t think about Buffy, William told himself as he took out his swollen cock and began with long, slow strokes up his shaft, stopping at the head to gather the little bit of pre-cum that had gathered there and using it to smooth his path.
He wasn’t dirty for this, he couldn’t be. It was better he relieve his tension this way than to let it build and eventually take it out on Buffy. Given the right mood he knew he could be a prick. A fact Dawn and Anya had pointed out to him on several occasions. Throw in a little sexual tension and you had all the ingredients for Giant Asshole William.
This was better.
As much as he was trying to stay them off, thoughts of Buffy rushed into his mind and his pace quickened. Standing before him in a different time and place, clad only in the lacy undergarments he’d seen her in last night. Beckoning him to her with the crook of a perfectly manicured fingernail. He imagined what kissing her would feel like and he was so close he could feel his orgasm building inside of him. His hand gripped the wall behind the toilet leaning over a bit as he thrust quickly into his hand. When he finally came, he worshipped her name with a whisper.
Grabbing a couple of tissues and dipping them under the water that was still running from the sink, he cleaned himself off and tucked his now limp member back into his flannel pajama pants. Flushing the toilet and turning off the running water William opened the door and headed back into his bedroom.
Buffy was no longer in bed and for a split second he panicked.
Excellent, you couldn’t control yourself anymore than a pubescent sod and now she’s run off or worse hurt herself again, and it’s your fault. Turning towards the dresser he had on the opposite wall he saw her standing in a corner in front of his closet, a small picture frame clutched in her hand. Not expecting to find her there, William jumped and let out a yelp that could only be described as really feminine causing Buffy to look up at him quickly.
“Sorry pet didn’t mean to frighten you. I didn’t expect to see you there, so you startled me a bit. Oh, and please don’t ever tell anyone you ever heard me squeal like a girl, they’d make me turn in my man card and we can’t have…” Pausing he noticed she had turned her attention away from him and was again staring at the frame she held in her hands. “What you got there?”
Buffy placed the frame back on the dresser where she’d found it and turned it so that the front was facing William. His heart sank as he saw what was inside. Shortly after Lilly’s death he’d taken his cell phone in and had the picture Buffy had taken of he and Lilly in the hospital printed and framed. William didn’t know why he’d wanted to keep it, but now he wished he hadn’t.
He could see the unshed tears formed in Buffy’s eyes. She stared at the picture, her lip quivering as she placed her hand over the glass of the frame. William couldn’t move, she was about to break and he couldn’t even find the strength to go to her. She looked up at him and in one second destroyed them both.
Gently caressing the picture she sobbed on a whisper, “Lilly,” her voice breaking on both syllables. In an instant he saw her crumble. The weight of everything she’d been through the past week along with whatever she’d gone through before he met her.
“Oh Buffy,” William sobbed as he rushed to her, gathering her in his arms before they both sank to the floor. “I’m so sorry,” he said as he rocked her back and forth stroking her hair. “I’m so bloody sorry.”
Song at the beginning: “Holy Tears” by Tara Maclean
There for You by zeta0497
Author's Notes:
Sorry it's taken me so long to update this thing. I went out of town for Thanksgiving and caught the flu! Yeah...that was fun! Anyway, here is the newest chapter. I realize that it may be a bit on the boring side, but there were / are issues in the story that I felt I needed to deal with, and soon...so the story could continue on and actually get to where I want it to be.
Also, just a quick note. I don't use a beta. I don't have time for it, and I don't want to take up someone elses valuable time either....so there are bound to be mistakes in the writing. I try to catch as many as I can before I publish each chapter but sometimes things sneak through. If you guys see anything that is particularly annoying, please know that you have my apologies in advance.
Last one I swear. To whoever nominated this story for best WIP at Loves Last Glimpse...big *hugs* to you!
“No,…No…please…don.no…”
Buffy’s childlike whimpers roused William from a deep sleep. Opening one eye he could see Buffy lying on her side facing his direction. Her forehead was lined with worry, even in sleep. She turned her head suddenly, burying it deeper into the pillow she was resting on, and William knew she was having a nightmare. Sliding over to her carefully, he brushed his hand lightly over cheek and then traced the creases of her worried brow.
“Buffy, love, it’s just a dream,” he whispered as she turned quickly away from him, and onto her other side. Not willing to let it go, William slid closer to her. Rubbing small comforting circles into her back he continued to whisper to her softly as his hand crept slowly around her waist, encircling her in his arms.
“Come back to me.”
Jerking herself out of his embrace and into a sitting position, Buffy glanced wildly around the room. Grasping the white sheet to her already fully clothed form she took short panic induced breaths while trying to orient her self.
“Buffy,” William implored softly, “Buffy, look at me.”
Closing her eyes, Buffy was finally able to take a deep breath, she turned her face in the direction of Williams and when she opened her eyes again, he was staring at her with a gentle concern that made her tremble.
“Sorry,” She whispered averting her eyes from his intense gaze. “I had a, a dream and it scared me.” She began to untangle herself from the bed linen, “I didn’t mean to freak out on you.”
“It’s okay Pet. You don’t have to…”
“It’s not okay!” She interrupted quickly. “You’ve put me back together so many times ever since…I shouldn’t have acted that way and I’m sorry.” William noticed that she was starting to circle the room, looking for something.
“I haven’t put you back together Pet, I’ve been here for you, completely different, and what are you looking for?”
“My bag.” She replied still searching the room quickly. “I need my bag and, my things.”
William walked over and opened the door to his bedroom, gesturing her out of the room he closed the door behind him as he followed her out.
“This way love.”
She followed down the long hallway of his apartment until they came to a small door right across the hall from the guest bathroom.
“I set your stuff up in here. I figured you would want your privacy and all.”
He watched her pick up the bag and take a quick mental inventory of what was inside.
“I washed a few things for you. They’re all in the laundry closet just there.” He told her pointing out into the hallway.
She nodded and moved past him quickly. Opening the door to the laundry she quickly collected her clothes, all folded neatly on top of the dryer and made her way back into the room. William watched her intently as she began to haphazardly stuff the items into her bags.
“I’m going to get out of your hair.” She told him quickly, not stopping to look at the confused look on his face. “You’ve been so nice to me, and I don’t want to put you out anymore, I’ll just change clothes really quick and then I’ll be...”
“Buffy, wait, you don’t have to…”
“I really appreciate what you did but.”
“Buffy!” William exclaimed showing his obvious frustration. “What are you on about? Did I make you feel like you had to leave?”
He could tell that he’d frightened her when she backed away from him so that the bed, and a few feet of space separated them.
“Well, did I?” He knew he was being impatient with her but he wanted answers and currently all he was getting was a thoughtful glare. Finally Buffy shook her head. “Alright,” he sighed as he scratched the back of his neck, “do you have somewhere you can go?”
“There are lots of places I can go where I’m not….”
“Buffy, you’re not in my hair, you’re not imposing, and if the only place you have to go is a shelter, then you’re staying with me. I don’t know if you noticed Pet, but I’ve got a pretty big place here all to my lonesome and…”
“I won’t sleep with you.” She told him effectively stopping him in his tracks.
“Excuse me?” He asked staring at her in disbelief
Shaking her head she zipped up her duffle bag and slung it over her shoulder. “You heard me,” she muttered as she picked up the khaki pants she’d worn home from the hospital along with a white spaghetti strap tank top from the bag she’d just finished packing.
“Wait a minute.” William grabbed her arm as she attempted to pass him. “Is that why you think I’ve been helping you the past week? Is that why you think I brought you into my home? I want to help you Buffy, nothing more. If you want to stay here you can, but you’ll be staying
here,” he gestured to the room they were standing in. “This would be your room. I’m not asking you to share my bed.”
“Why then?” She asked not able to meet his eyes, so she focused on his hand still grasping her forearm.
“Because you need it, and I want to. I don’t want anything in return.” He released her then, and took a step backward to grant her some personal space. “If it would make you more comfortable I could see if I could pull some strings at the hospital maybe get you a job, and you could pay me rent.”
Buffy sighed quietly and William could practically see the wheels in her mind turning. “Okay,” she whispered, “but I don’t think I want to work at the hospital. I just don’t think I could…”
“Say no more pet. I have other strings I can pull too. We’ll figure it out.” When she nodded he stepped out of the room all together, “I’m going to give you some privacy pet, let you get changed up, if you like we can go shopping later and get you something more comfortable to sleep in than my t-shirt and old boxers okay?”
He had started to head back into his bedroom when he heard Buffy call out to him once more.
“William, wait, I’m really,”
“Yes pet?”
“I’m really sorry about before. It’s just that I’ve never met a man who didn’t want to help me just for the sake of helping.” He nodded, not wanting to interrupt her if she had more to say. “And, this morning, when I woke up and you had your arms around me, my mind automatically went for the worse possible scenario and I don’t want you think I’m not grateful because I am and.”
“Pet,” William interrupted.
“Yeah,” she breathed, looking into his eyes for the first time since she’d awoken from her dream.
“It’s really okay. Truth be told the only reason you slept in my bed last night was you had cried yourself to sleep in my arms, and I was too lazy to bring you in here. I don’t plan on you sharing my bed on a regular basis. I comfort people through touch Buffy, hugging, and the like it’s the way I treat all of my friends. I would very much like to be your friend if you’ll let me. Will you, Buffy, will you let me be your friend.
“Yeah,” she replied, barely above a whisper, and a small half smile forming on her face. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”
*Song at the beginning: There for you by Flyleaf*Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.