Christmas Kisses by maryperk
Summary: Spuffy + demonic mistletoe = 5 canon changing kisses. Written for Noel of Spike LJ and Round 4 Fang Fetish Award challenge
Categories: General NC-17 Fics Characters: None
Genres: Romance
Warnings: Adult Language
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 5 Completed: Yes Word count: 7069 Read: 7511 Published: 12/15/2006 Updated: 12/17/2006

1. Chapter 1 by maryperk

2. Chapter 2 by maryperk

3. Chapter 3 by maryperk

4. Chapter 4 by maryperk

5. Chapter 5 by maryperk

Chapter 1 by maryperk
Author's Notes:
Betaed by Tasha. If you don't like this story, complain to Redwulfe50 and Spikeslovebite, they love it.
Chapter 1 PRE SUNNYDALE, CHRISTMAS 1996

Spike slammed back the shot of whiskey, and he pounded the glass on the bar in front of him to let the barkeep know he was ready for more. What a way to spend Christmas, the morose vampire muttered to himself. Why the hell did Dru have to scamper off with the bitch? She knew how much I love lie ins on the holidays. It's all Darla's fault. She knows that Dru is sickly, but I swear she's trying to get Dru dusted. Spike nodded his thanks to the bartender when the Mugguyver demon refilled his shot glass.

Spike turned around to study the crowd. His eyebrows shot up when he noticed a monstrously huge and ugly Yokk demon and a fairy-like Foi demon snogging in the corner like long lost lovers. Spike found this odd because every demon knew the two species had a long running feud that spilled into every dimension.

The blond vampire noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. He glanced over just in time to see a sprig of mistletoe inch towards him. Spike could sense there was something very wrong with this plant. The bloody thing made Audrey II from that stupid ass movie, Little Shop of Horrors, look like a pussycat. This was odder than the snogging, feuding demons.

My name isn't Audrey. It's Rosebud.

Spike gaped at the sentient flora. He knew he was evil and scary, but this was downright horrifying. He glanced around to see if anyone else heard the plant.

Don't worry, vampire. Your mortal enemy isn't here. She is just now learning her potential.

"What?" Spike's eyes fell on the still kissing demons. "That is so... insidious." He shivered in disgust. It would be a cold day in Hell before he kissed his mortal enemy. Little did he know that Hell would be frozen over that very evening.

Just for that, vampire. The first Christmas after you meet the most mortal of enemies, the one destined to be your downfall, you will find yourself locking lips with her. That'll teach you to laugh at me.

"I must be drunker than I thought," Spike muttered. "I'm listening to a soddin' plant."

I'm more than a plant, vampire. I'm all the repressed desires harbored between mortal enemies brought to life, and I'm stuck in the most innocent looking item. The mistletoe under which the Christmas kiss happens. Someday, I shall rule the world.

Spike grimaced at the maniacal laughter that echoed through his skull. It reminded him too much of his absent Sire. She was so beautifully insane. Spike's heart filled with loneliness at the thought of spending the night alone.

You don't have to be alone. Your mortal enemy is right over in Orange County. She's young, and she's still in denial. She'd be easy to get a smooch-a-roo on.

"Shaddup," Spike growled. "I don't want to kiss a bloody Slayer. I'd sooner snog Angelus." His lip curled in repulsion.

That can be arranged. His broody soulfulness is stalking the Slayer as we speak. He thinks a century of indifference deserves a reward.

"Angelus has a soul?" Spike hooted. Then, he processed the mistletoe's other words. "You know, I thought there was something different about him on that U-boat."

Yes, he has a soul. Now, come on. You come kiss the Slayer now, and I'll change the stipulations of our next meeting.

"Change how?" Spike eyed the demonically possessed plant with suspicion.

I'll make sure Angelus is a witness to said smooch-a-roo.

"You'd do that? You'd let me snog Angelus' sweetie bear, no consequences, right in front of him?" Spike rubbed his hands together in anticipation. He'd wanted to show up the elder vamp ever since Angelus had shagged Drusilla in front of him that very first time.

I'll even make sure she enjoys it, not matter how much she protests to the contrary.

"You got yourself a deal. I'd shake your hand, but you don't have one," Spike chortled. He wondered if he could pick something up to eat on the way to L.A. Rosebud twined itself up his arm to Spike's shoulder.

When the vampire and his hitchhiker left, the Yokk demon and the Foi demon sprang apart since they were no longer under the mistletoe's influence. They stared at each other for a few moments before they sprang back into each other's arms. They soon became known as the Romeo and Juliet of the demon world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike strolled into the nightclub, and he inhaled sharply. The smell of teenage hormones were always a turn on for the blond vampire. There was nothing quite as delicious as making a late night snack out of some silly little bint willing to follow him out into the darkness.

Humans are so easy. In just a few minutes, they're gonna do something every vamp lives for.

"Lights out, huh?" Spike scanned the crowd. His eyes landed on a young girl, one younger than his usual nightclub fare. She laughed and danced with her friends. She had a bright smile on her face, and when she threw her head back in mirth, her shiny blond hair bounced enticingly.

I see you found your quarry already. You have a sharp eye.

"That's the Slayer?" Spike asked incredulously. "I know I'm the Slayer of Slayers, but she's just a bloody child."

She'll be sixteen in less than a month, vampire. You've never been this squeamish before.

"Haven't ever been looking just for a snogging since I was human, either." Spike shrugged dismissively.

Hmm. Somehow I don't think William would have known what to do with a woman.

Spike snarled in response. He methodically circled the room until he was in the perfect place to capture the Slayer when the lights went out. He knew he should just keep her, remove her from the club and take his third Slayer. Somehow though, he felt that if he did that his unlife wouldn't be nearly as interesting. When the lights finally went out, Spike changed into game face, and he quickly located the Slayer in the darkness. He stepped up behind her.

"Who is that?" she demanded when his hands landed on her shoulders. She gave a cute little squeak when he whirled her around. "Bobby, is that you? I already told you I wasn't interested."

"I'm not Bobby, luv," Spike whispered. "I'm the Big Bad Wolf here to eat up a pretty little Slayer." He slipped out of his vampiric guise. There was no point in scaring her this time.

"Huh?" she grunted. Any other response was lost when she found her lips covered by this dashing sounding stranger.

Spike sighed into the sweet hot mouth beneath his own. His hands slipped off her shoulders, down her back to settle around her hips. Her small hands both pushed and pulled against him, and with each shifting of her body the scent of her burgeoning arousal wafted to his nose.

Lights are coming up in just a few, vampire.

Spike pulled his mouth away from the Slayer's, only to have her mewl in protest. She tugged on his duster lapels in an attempt to have his mouth cover hers again.

"Until next time, luv," Spike whispered. He backed away, and he disappeared into the sea of bodies. When the lights came back on, he looked back to see a totally dazed Slayer holding her hand against her lips. He heard one of her friends squealing above the din of the other clubbers.

"Buffy, you look like you were totally ravished. Was it anyone we know?"

Spike chuckled at the Slayer's response.

"I think I was. No, it wasn't anyone we know, but I think I'll be hearing from him again."

Until we meet again, vampire.

Spike whistled as he left the nightclub. Unlife was sure to much more interesting from here on out. Just as soon as he met up with the Slayer again, that is.
Chapter 2 by maryperk
Chapter 2 SCHOOL HARD 1997

Spike found himself in yet another nightclub filled with teenagers. He was glad to see that the description of a small, blond Slayer was for the same Slayer he had snogged the year before, instead of a new one. He shook the memories of said kiss from his mind, and he got down to business.

Fifteen minutes later, Spike watched the Slayer dust the braggart minion in the alley behind the club. He glanced around the alley, getting the feeling it would be very important in his future. He clapped his hands while he slunk out of the shadows, oozing with as much sex appeal as he could muster.

"Nice work, luv," Spike drawled. He snickered when the Slayer's eyes opened wide in recognition.

"Who are you?" she demanded in almost the same tone of voice as the year before.

"You'll find out Saturday," Spike answered. He could tell by the way she scrunched up her forehead that wasn't the answer she was wanting.

"What happens Saturday?"

"I kill you!" Spike could see the Slayer mentally stomp her foot at his answers and his pretended indifference. He could practically feel her urge to stick her tongue out at him. Spike whirled in a swirl of black leather. He exited the alley with style and panache, leaving behind a mad, confused Slayer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THREE MONTHS LATER, CHRISTMAS TIME, WHAT'S MY LINE? PART 2

Buffy flipped over Kendra's back to find herself face to face with the big blond pain in her butt. She was so pissed at the blond vampire. He'd kissed her so nicely the year before in Los Angeles, but he'd practically ignored her since he had come to Sunnydale. Well, no, she had to take that back. He hadn't totally ignored her. He'd tried to kill her on several occasions, but he hadn't tried to kiss her, not even once. She gave the smirking vampire a dirty look.

"I'd rather be fighting you."

"Feeling's mutual."

Vampire, it's time.

"What?" Spike stopped up short. He lifted his eyes to the ceiling where he saw the possessed mistletoe hanging. He didn't even acknowledge Buffy's punch to his nose. "We're in the middle of a fight. She's not gonna wanna snog in the middle of a fight, you stupid soddin' plant from Hell."

All the players are in their places, vampire.

"The poofter is out cold." Spike put his fist to his forehead. "The building's on fire, her groupies are here, and you want us to kiss?

Pucker up, vamp boy. I'm hitting everyone with the urge.

"Spike?" Buffy snapped her fingers in front of the vampire's face. She shuddered when his lust-filled golden eyes snapped back to her face. She tried to tell herself it was because she was shaking with anger, but she knew deep down she was just deluding herself.. "Oh no, buster. I'm not the 'she' you're gonna kiss." She jumped, and she looked around when a voice filled her head.

Come on, Slayer. You know you wanted to jump him in the alley that first night he was in Sunnydale.

"Who the hell was that?" Buffy looked around before her eyes landed on the smirking Spike, who thumbed towards the ceiling above them. Her eyes slowly moved upwards until she saw the plant hanging above them. "Haunted mistletoe?"

"Possessed is more like it. It makes mortal enemies snog. So, it's you and me, pet." Spike grinned toothily while he waggled his eyebrows at Buffy. He glanced over at Angelus, and he was thrilled to see the older vamp coming to. He grabbed Buffy by the upper arm, and before she could lodge a protest, he covered her lips with his own.

Buffy heard Angel's gasp of outrage at Spike's audacity, but she heard the gasp cut short for some reason. Buffy's mind wandered away from the brunette vampire, and it settled on the blond one. It was as if time was suspended for Buffy, her lips being expertly caressed by Spike's, until Xander and Cordelia burst into the church.

"Holy frijoles! What is going on in here? Why is Spike and Buffy kissing" Xander paused for a moment. "I didn't think Kendra like Angel that much! G-man, you know that's Drusilla, don't you? Evil, insane Drusilla?"

"Don't call me that," Giles snarled. "Besides, she's a bloody good kisser."

'Okay, this is weirding me out!" Cordelia announced. "And, the worm man is right behind us."

Spike reluctantly pulled away from Buffy. There was nothing he'd rather do than pull the petite blond somewhere private and have her take care of the problem in his pants. Just one touch of her mouth against his, and he was so hard he ached.

Good-bye, kiddies. It's been fun. Till next time.

Spike smirked down at the Slayer, and he realized that he'd kissed her in in full game face. He crowed with silent glee at the fact that she hadn't protested. In fact, she had been just as eager and involved as he had been. Spike cockily winked at Buffy before he sprang across the room to rip Drusilla from the Watcher's embrace.

Buffy's eyes narrowed in jealousy while she watched Spike rush to another woman's side. She grabbed a nearby candle arbor, and she flung it towards the two vampires. She gasped in shock when they fell into the burning organ. Buffy was broken out of her reverie by Willow screaming that Angel had trouble getting free from his bonds. She hurried to help a blushing Kendra free the dark haired vampire from the ropes he was entangled in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LATER, AT BUFFY'S

"What was with all the kissing," Cordelia asked. "You and Spike looked like you were really enjoying yourselves."

"We were not!" Buffy protested. Her feelings were still smarting over Spike's easy dismissal in favor of Drusilla and Angel's accusations about the kiss. As if he had any room to talk! The totally embarrassed Kendra could barely look at her sister Slayer or the broody Angel. She decided to tell Willow and Cordelia what Spike had told her. "Spike said it was possessed mistletoe that makes enemies kiss."

"You and Spike looked entirely too comfortable with the smoochies," Cordelia said slyly. "He looked like he wanted to drag you off and do more than kiss."

Buffy blushed profusely. Little did Cordelia know that she had felt the same way. She had never mentioned her run in with the blond vampire when she had been newly called. It still weighed heavily on her mind that she had enjoyed the attentions of a vampire, one who didn't come with a soul, and that she'd enjoyed yet another kiss at the hands of the same vampire. Buffy worried that her friends would think she was awful slutty if she did say anything, but if nothig else, a Slayer faces her fears head on.

"Those are some deep thoughts," Willow said.

"If I tell you something, do you two promise to not wig out or tell Xander, Angel or Giles?" Buffy's eyes darted back and forth between the other two teenage girls. She was sure Willow wouldn't tell after promising, but she wasn't sure about Cordelia.

Both the other Scooby girls raised their hands, and they solemnly swore not to tell any soul, living or undead. Buffy checked outside for any unwanted eavesdroppers. She liked Angel, she really did, but he just wasn't someone to let loose in polite society. Eavesdropping was one of his least savory habits, in her opinion.

"Alright, spill the beans, girl." Cordelia pulled Buffy down on the bed beside her. "What's all those deep thoughts of yours?"

"I've kissed Spike before," Buffy muttered. "I'd recognize that damned voice of his anywhere. It makes me want to melt all over him like chocolate." She got a dreamy look on her face. "Hmmm, Spike and chocolate."

"That's why you were so mad that first night at the Bronze," Willow gasped. "I was coming out of the Bronze just as you guys started talking. He was all Rico Sauvé, and you were just mad."

"Yeah, during a nightclub lights out last Christmas eve, I was kissed by a stranger with a totally yummy accent," Buffy said. "I recognized his voice the minute he slunk out of the shadows. Stupid vampire!"

"When did you know he was a vamp?" Willow squealed.

"He called me Slayer even back then. So that was kind of a dead giveaway or an undead giveaway." Buffy giggled at her own pun.

"So, when's the next time you're gonna give Spike some big old smoochies," Willow asked.

"Never, ever again, Wills," Buffy swore, her hand over her heart. "Besides, I doubt he survived the fire at the church." Her eyes filled with sudden sadness and guilt. She now wished she hadn't thrown the candle arbor at the two vampires, but at the time her jealousy eclipsed everything else. Tears filled Buffy's eyes at losing the best mortal enemy she'd had to date.

"I'm sure he'll be fine." Willow said with false brightness. "The two of you will be back to fighting in no time." She glanced over at Cordelia with worried eyes. The two Scooby girls hugged and patted the Slayer until she finished crying.
Chapter 3 by maryperk
Chapter 3 POST HUSH 1999

"Holy frijoles, they're at it again!" Xander spluttered. "How are we supposed to find her a nice, normal boyfriend if she keeps kissing vampires. Well, that one particular vampire, anyway." He glanced around the room in the hopes that neither Angel, nor Riley, the last hope for 'normal', noticed.

"It wasn't me," Willow squeaked. "I didn't have anything to do with it this time. NosireeBob."

The two Scoobies watched in horror as Buffy dragged Spike into the corner. She covered his lips with hers while she rubbed her hands all over his back and ass. Both blanched when Spike returned the favor by slamming their hips together. Willow and Xander turned their backs on the entangled couple, only to come face to face with Riley, the last hope for 'normal', macking on his frat buddy, Forrest. They turned another direction just in time to see Angel escort Professor Maggie Walsh into the sitting room just off the main room of the frat house. Willow and Xander gasped when they heard a voice whispering in their minds.

Fun, fun, fun. I just love it when a plan comes together. That naughty Slayer shouldn't have protested so loudly. It was so easy to convince the Cursed One to come to Sunnydale. Hee, hee, and then hitch a ride.

"Did you say something, Wills?"

"No, I thought you did." Willow looked around in confusion, and she came to the conclusion she was hearing things. Life on the Hellmouth must be making her crazy. Case in point was this Christmas party. It was supposed to be just a little get together to help Riley get over the shock of finding out that Buffy was the Slayer, but then Angel, Cordelia and Wesley showed up. Cordelia and Wesley were across the room laughing at some joke told by one of the college jocks and Angel had gone from chatting Professor Walsh up to playing tonsil hockey with the woman.

That vampire really should smooch-a-roo his Slayer more often. She's so much easier to deal with when she's got his tongue down her throat.

"Ewwww, who said that?" Xander shuddered at the not so mental picture when he looked around to see where the voice was coming from, and his eyes fell on Spike and Buffy still making out in the corner. "Can you make me blind now, Willow?"

"Oh, there's my new friend Tara," Willow said brightly to avoid answering Xander's question about blindness. She still felt guilty about the whole 'Thy Will Be Done' spell, especially the part where she had Spike and Buffy being engaged to be married. She glanced at the petite blond Slayer while she hurried to Tara's side. The memories of the aftermath of her spell flooded her mind.

Spike lips, Lips of Spike," Buffy growled. She leaped up off of the blond vampire, and her eyes first went to the ceiling above her, then they landed on the red-haired witch. "You know, I can handle the Spike kissage, 'cause, you know, been there, done that, but we were betrothed. I'm not ready to get married!"

"I'm s-sorry, Buffy," Willow stammered. "I j-just wanted to feel better."

"Well, I certainly felt better." Spike leered at Buffy. "I'll have some nice memories of the Slayer wiggling all over my lap to keep me warm on the cold nights."

"You're such a pig, Spike," Buffy grumbled. She grabbed him by the coat sleeve, and she dragged him out of the crypt.

"Bad and rude, too, but it's all part of my charm."

Willow, Xander and Anya followed the still bickering blond couple out of the crypt and across the cemetery.
(end memory)

"Tara, I'm so glad you could make it," Willow greeted the other girl, and her voice dropped to a whisper. "Things are kinda weird around here. I think we should check the eggnog to see if it's been spiked." She paused for a moment, her eyebrows drawn together in thought. "Wonder if Spike spiked the eggnog?"

"W-why do you think the eggnog is s-spiked?" Tara stammered. She was a little embarrassed to see all the amorous couples around the room.

"Well, Spike and Buffy are kissing again, Xander and I heard a weird voice in our heads, and he wants to be blinded like I did to Giles," Willow stated.

The eggnog isn't spiked, witch.

"What's going on here?" Anya, Xander's ex-vengeance demon now full time girlfriend, entered through the main door of the frat house. She noticed the amorous couples. "Willow, you didn't make my Xander a demon magnet again, did you?"

Anyanka, it's been ages. How have you been?

"Rosebud, what kind of havoc are you wreaking here?" Anya demanded. "I thought you gave up the stupid idea of world domination after O.W. wished you into a plant."

Never, darling Anyanka. I will rule the world, mark my words, but first I must enjoy the blond vampire's smooch-a-roos with his Slayer.

"She's not his Slayer," Willow protested. "She has a nice, normal boyfriend right over there." The redhead pointed to where Riley and Forrest were sitting on the couch kissing each other.

Ahh, yes. The soldier that secretly harbors a hate towards anyone or anything not like himself. His dislike of his fellow soldier because of color and sexual preference makes him easy for me to manipulate.

"Well, turn it off before someone gets too happy," Xander broke into the conversation abruptly, his face a curious shade of crimson.

You humans are such chickens. Look the blond vampire is almost to second base.

"No, no second base, no third base, no homerun either," Willow squeaked. "Baseball is bad. Evil and bad."

I love evil and bad, but, alas, you're right. It's time to stop. I have other mortal enemies to cause smooch-a-roos between. I'm off! See you next time.

The four Scoobies, old and new, cringed at the laughter that rang through their heads. They jumped when they heard a loud smacking sound, and they turned towards the room expecting Buffy to have slapped Spike silly. However, much to their surprise, they found Riley laying on the floor holding his eye while Buffy was still staring up at Spike gasping for breath. The Slayer turned on her heel, and she marched over to her friends, while Spike sauntered over behind her, his pelvis thrown forward in male pride. Willow and Tara blushed and dropped their eyes, while Anya stared at the blond vampire in undisguised admiration.

"It wasn't me, Buffy," Willow blurted out. "It was that mistletoe you mentioned a couple of years ago."

"Think it likes us, Slayer." Spike ogled at the petite blond girl. "I bet if you'd just admit to yourself that you like kissing me, it would quit coming back to visit."

Before Buffy could reply to the vampire, her elbow was grabbed roughly. On pure instinct she turned around and swung a fist into her attacker's face. Buffy winced and covered her mouth when she realized that she'd hit Riley in the eye that Forrest had missed. She elbowed the snickering Spike out of her way. She went to help the soldier up, but he cowered back in terror.

"Not only do you kiss that degenerate in front of my entire frat, you have to punch me, too?" Riley squealed. "You are not the girl I thought you were."

"Gosh, Riley, I'm sorry," Buffy said, her voice filled with fake regret. "But you don't have much room to talk. You were kissing Forrest." She glanced over to where the irate man was hissing to Professor Walsh while pointing towards Riley. Standing behind the Professor was a contrite, and obviously embarrassed, Angel. Buffy turned back to her friends, and she asked, "What's Angel's problem?"

"Um..." Willow stammered. "A-apparently only you make him really happy?"

"You mean he boinked Professor Walsh?" Buffy asked. "But she's so not his type."

"Remember, pet, mortal enemies, just like you and me."

"Yeah, but you're cute. She's just not!" Buffy told the vampire in a distracted tone, not realizing what she'd just revealed. "But how can she be his mortal enemy?" She shivered when Spike came up to whisper in her ear.

"If Captain Cardboard here is part of the group that shoved that chip in my noggin, then she's the one in charge. That makes her Angelus' mortal enemy." Spike raised an eyebrow when Buffy turned to stare into his face.

"She is," Angel muttered. He had heard the Scooby conversation when he approached the group. "There was no chance for me to be happy," he sneered. "Don't think she's been laid in years. She was so thrilled she babbled on about everything. They're planning on making an army of chipped vampires, but all the test subjects except Houdini here fried their brains trying to hurt people."

"What's so different about Spike?" Xander asked in a perplexed tone. Weren't all vamps the same?

"I'm not a minion, you moron, I'm a Childe. Minions are mostly what you find here in Sunnyhell," Spike said. "We need to get out of here before something else happens." He was surprised when the rest of the group agreed with him.

"I won't be forgetting this, Buffy," Riley broke in. "I'll be watching you! You're gonna slip up sometime." He stormed off towards his commanding officer.

"Definitely time to go!" Buffy announced. She herded Spike towards the door. "I think we need to go tell Giles the newest info."
Chapter 4 by maryperk
Chapter 4 POST TABULA RASA, CHRISTMAS TIME 2001

"We kissed, Buffy. It's not like it's the first time!" Spike said aloud. Damned bitch is in denial. She sang and danced her undying love for me, and now she wants to sweep it under the rug and forget. There is no way that's gonna happen. He stepped closer to the blond Slayer. "Why are you so scared to let me in, luv?"

A pounding on the door of 1630 Revello Drive interrupted the blond Slayer's answer. Buffy looked up at Spike's beautiful blue eyes before she turned on her heel to go open the front door. She flung the door open, ready to read someone the riot act, only to find a very distraught Cordelia Chase standing on the porch. She swept into the house, pushing past Buffy to enter the living room. Buffy closed the door, and she followed the dark-haired woman into the other room.

"Angel said he didn't have sex with her!" Cordelia growled. "And like a fool I believed him!." She flung herself down onto the couch.

"He had sex with Professor Walsh?" Buffy asked, aghast.

Two years earlier, the college professor had quit both her job at the Sunnydale university campus and her job with the army to move to L.A. to pursue Angel. The Initiative fell apart soon after her departure when the Frankenstein monster being put together in lab 314 was discovered. Soon, the military installation was shut down and the soldiers transferred elsewhere until only Riley remained. He had vowed revenge on the slayer and the vampire that he blamed personally for his dismissal from the military on the grounds that he was homosexual. The ex-soldier had left Sunnydale six months ago when Spike and Buffy had come across him in a vamp whore house they were about to torch.

"No! I almost wish he'd slept with Walsh." Cordelia shuddered. "Angel slept with that bitch, Darla, and now she's pregnant!"

"Darla's dead," Buffy said, perplexed. "I was there when Angel staked her." She glanced over at Spike, who was trying to look at everything in the room, but her. Buffy marched over to him. "Alright, buster, what's all the avoid-y looks for?"

"Um, Slayer, Buffy, pet, love of my unlife..."

"Just get on with it, bleach brain!" Buffy folded her arms across her chest, tapped her foot in impatience and lifted one eyebrow at the vampire.

"Well, you know when Dru came to town last spring? She told me that she revamped Darla, but she didn't say anything about shaggin' the poof!" Spike held his hands up in protest when she stepped closer. He knew Buffy was still a little upset about his Sire chaining her up and threatening to turn the Slayer into a vampire for Spike.

"You didn't think that was worth mentioning?" Buffy's foot tapped faster.

"We were kinda in the middle of something, Slayer!" Spike shouted. He threw his hands up in the air. "You do remember the exodus from Sunnydale to avoid that hell-bitch, don't you?"

"Hey, you guys are supposed to be listening to my story of woe, not make me listen to yours," Cordelia grumbled. She reached into her purse, and she pulled out a small, gift wrapped box that she tossed on the coffee table. "There! For some reason someone sent that to the Hyperion. That was my excuse to get away from the preggo bitch and Angel. It's a prophecy, I get that, I really do, but this is too much."

"Prophecy?" Buffy squeaked. Then, she sighed heavily. "Of course it's prophecy, because what's life without some cryptic old prophecy to come along and mess with us?"

That's not the only thing that's gonna mess with you, Slayer.

"What?" Buffy looked around, but didn't see anyone except Spike and Cordelia. Her eyes popped up towards the ceiling. "Um, Spike, I think your friend is back. Uh, Rosebud, Spike and I are friends now, not mortal enemies. So, no kissage."

I'm in lurve, Slayer. I don't make mortal enemies kiss anymore. Now, I'm all for the romance in denial.

Buffy gulped as she turned to stare at Spike. She put her hand on her forehead, and she shook her head in defeat. There was no way she was going to get out of kissing Spike once again. Theirs could definitely be call a 'romance in denial', her denial. She marched over to Spike, and she grumbled, "Oh all right, let's get this over with."

Spike smirked to himself when Buffy grabbed both sides of his head, and she fiercely brought his lips down to hers. The blond vampire settled the petite spitfire against his body while he wrapped his arms around her. There was no way he was going to push her away if she was going to willingly kiss him. His hands slipped down to cradle her hips while his fingers splayed across her ass.

"Don't mind me," Cordelia muttered. She looked everywhere else in the room except at the two intertwined blonds. Finally, she picked up the Christmas package laying on the table, and she began to examine it. Cordelia shook the box in the hopes that it would rattle and tell her what was inside.

Hey, quit shaking me! Maybe you wouldn't be so cranky if you were smooch-a-rooing somebody!

"I'm perfectly capable of finding my own men to kiss, I don't need the help of demonic mistletoe," Cordelia said, indignantly.

But you left the last one in a different dimension, Seer.

"Holy frijoles, again?" Xander's voice filled the room. He gurgled in protest at the two kissing blonds. "Come on, knock it off you two. Willow's playing with the magic again already, isn't she?"

Ahhh, Sweet's lovely new bride!

"I so am not! Don't say that, again. I'm engaged to Anya," Xander protested emphatically. "I know what you are. You're that possessed mistletoe."

Yes, if you don't leave her at the altar due to your own feelings of inadequacy.

"Hey, I don't have to take that," Xander said. He held up the gift bag he was carrying. "All I was doing was dropping off Buffy's door prize from Anya's party last week. What did you win, Buff?"

Buffy pulled away from Spike. She winked at the blond vampire as she answered her friend, "I won edible undies. Blood flavored edible undies." She giggled when Xander threw the bag across the room before he wiped his hand on his shirt, his nose wrinkled in distaste.

"That's just disgusting, Buffy. Who the hell would want blood flavored edible undies?" Xander shook his head in disbelief. It never occured him to glance at Spike, who was giving the Slayer a speculative look.

"Just wait and see what she got for you, Xan," Buffy giggled. "Now, Rosebud, I gave Spike his Christmas kiss. Now leave before I start rifling his pockets for his lighter."

Well, I know when I'm not welcome.

Moments later Spike heard Rosebud's voice in his head again.

Hey, vampire, I know a demon in Africa that'll give you what she deserves. All you have to do is win the trials.
Chapter 5 by maryperk
Chapter 5 ATS5, CHRISTMAS TIME 2003

Angel was unhappy, very unhappy. It had all started when Buffy had shown up earlier in the week, along with her tag-a-long vampire, Spike. When Wesley and the others had found out the upstart had gone to Africa where he'd fought for and won his soul back, all for Buffy's love, they went ga-ga over the blond vampire. Words like 'unprecedented' and 'astonishing' fell from Wesley's lips almost every other sentence.

"That's great," Angel mumbled to himself in a whiny tone. "Everybody's got a soul now. You know, I started it. The whole having a soul. Before it was all the cool new thing. I got the brush off for Captain Peroxide."

You know, jealousy just isn't that attractive, Cursed One.

"Who's there?" Angel looked around suspiciously. A vampire couldn't be too careful, now that he was the head honcho of Wolfram & Hart. Angel's eyes darted around the room in search of where the voice was coming from.

I've worked hard for years to get those two together. I knew from the moment I first read the blond vampire's mind that he was destined to be with his mortal enemy, the Slayer.

"What?" Angel sat up in his chair. "No, I don't think so. Buffy's my girl, and Spike's just a speed bump in the road."

How can you say she's your girl when you continuously hide things from her?

"I do it to protect her," Angel protested. He really didn't see anything wrong with any of his actions.

You can lie to your friends and your employees, but you can't lie to me, Cursed One. Your magics cannot affect me.

Angel sighed in silent relief. Maybe the damned thing didn't know about the day he had the PTB take back five years before when the Mohra demon had made him human. Sudden laughter outside his office caught his attention. Through the glass panel next to the big wooden doors he could see the Christmas party was in full swing in the office lobby. Buffy was standing with her arm linked through Spike's while they laughed at something Wes had said.

I do know about that day. It's all right there in your mind for anyone to see.

"I want her to have a normal life," Angel said. "Spike is as abnormal as they come, with or without that soul of his." His lower lip stuck out in an exaggerated pout.

Pull in that lip! It looks cute on blondie out there, but not you. Besides, just what about the Slayer is normal? She lives on the Hellmouth. Her boyfriend is a vampire. Her sister is the Key. Her best female friend in a lesbian witch who used to date a werewolf. Her best male friend is married to an ex-vengeance demon. Her Watcher used to go by the name of Ripper, and he dabbled in magic. She's not normal, but somehow you convinced her, once upon a time, that she needed normal.

"They only love each other because of the soul." Angel crossed his arms over chest.

What part of destined to be together didn't you understand, Cursed One? The soul is what she deserves, not what she loves. Now, I must go spread the smooch-a-roos. I think I'll add a special fertility curse with the whole thing this year. Ciao.

Angel slouched down in his chair. If he wasn't so damned ready to cry over the events in his life, he would laugh. He had taken over Wolfram & Hart to change evil from within, and his crew still wasn't happy about it. Buffy was happy with Spike, and Cordelia was happy with the Groosalug. He hadn't seen that blasted Maggie Walsh in awhile. Maybe she finally gave up, Angel thought to himself. He growled when the office door slammed open and a kissing, entwined Spike and Buffy fell onto the floor just inside the office.

"Excuse me!"

Spike pulled away from Buffy's lips to look up at his grandsire. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment when Buffy latched said lips on his neck. Spike grinned unrepentantly at Angel while he blatantly slid a hand down the Slayer's hip and thigh.

"Can you do that somewhere else, William?" Angel grumbled. He was not in the mood to watch his ex-girlfriend making out with Spike.

"Could, but I'm too damned horny. I just want to shag my woman." Spike looked around till he spied a nearby couch. "How sturdy is that thing?"

"Spike," Buffy whimpered. "I can't afford to replace Angel's couch if we break it."

"If that bloody mistletoe wasn't here mucking things up, we'd be out in the lobby enjoying some nog." Spike looked down into the Slayer's flushed face. "Instead we got to watch the Cheerleader drag her guy off into one of the other offices. It's an orgy out there, worse then the frat house."

"Less talk-y, more kiss-y." Buffy scooted backwards towards the couch. The effects of the mistletoe overrode all of her inhibitions. Buffy smiled enticingly at the blond vampire, who crawled across the floor as he followed her. In a matter of minutes the two blonds were on the couch where they kissed and caressed one another, oblivious to their audience.

Unable to gain Buffy's attention, Angel decided to go out into the lobby. He needed to talk to Harmony about having his office fumigated anyway. He quietly closed the door behind him when he left, only to find the other room totally empty. Angel realized that the others had made use of the offices in ways similar to the way Spike and Buffy were. He winced when he remembered the mistletoe's idea of increased fertility, and he hoped it had just been joking.

TWO MONTHS LATER

"Hey Boss." Harmony entered the office. "I just got my test results back. You're gonna be a daddy."

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I want to thank everyone who has read and reviewed so far. While I was writing this story I was worried that it was just a little too strange and that people wouldn't enjoy it. I'm glad to see I was wrong. I want to thank Spikeslovebite, kargrif, jackofspikes and redwulf50 for all their wonderful support. Everyone should have friends like them.
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