Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Joss does. And some other people, too. I don’t know all their names, but I do know they’re not me. This is for fun and not profit. “Love Like Fire” is by Generation X (Billy Idol).

Rating: NC-17 (Sexual content in this one. I know, I know, you’re just shocked…)

Summary: When an old enemy comes to Sunnydale seeking revenge, Buffy finds herself seeing everything through new eyes—and turning her world upside down.

Timeline: The summer between Season 4 and Season 5. For the sake of keeping things simpler, there is no Dawn.

Author's Note: Though this story does have a plot and, therefore, has a conflict, but it’s not an overly angsty one. A few bumps in the road on the way to Spuffy goodness, but it’s mainly something I wrote to take a break from my other, heavier stories. So, in short, don’t expect nothing but hugs and puppies, but I doubt you’ll need to be reaching for the tissues either.

Feedback and Archiving: Both are welcome, but if you haven't archived one of my fics in the past, please ask permission before you do.

Contact Info: email: addie_logan@yahoo.com website: http://www.dark-desire.org/blood updates list: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/addielogan/

*** *** ***

Well I met her downtown
I think we’d spoken
I think we’d spoken once before
The sound was loud
I said yeah, I said yeah give me more
And something deep inside
Started engines of desire
And y’know there ain’t a chance
Of stopping love, love like fire
Love like fire

She was great so great to be with
I felt so good when she was there
My time was coming at me
And I swore I’d never care
And I thought there ain’t nothing else
All the poets here are liars
When you’re chasing something real
You get burnt by love like fire
Love like fire

I thought she likes the rest
And I know I’m in control
I can take it or I can leave it
You can forget that lovers role
The world you thought you knew
Gets strangled by the wire
And you crash while running blind
Destroyed by love, love like fire

*** *** ***

He didn’t know how long it had been since he’d seen the light of day. Could’ve been lifetimes... Still, he’d known they’d slip up eventually. Pathetic peons like them could never manage to hold someone like himself forever.

And slip up they did, giving him his first taste of freedom in so very long. Bloody glorious, it was.

Now, as the place of his captivity lay in smoldering ruins, he had but one thing on his mind: Revenge.

A slow smile spread across his face.

It was time to once again return to the Hellmouth.

*** *** ***

“This is suckage. Major, major suckage.”

Willow looked across the table and—over the mound of whipped cream on top of her latte—at Buffy. “What is?”

“This whole summer!” Buffy said, throwing up her arms. “Riley’s visiting his family in Iowa, Mom’s in New York on some buying trip, so the house is, like, dead quiet, and evil is apparently off on summer vacation, too—which makes my decision to stay here instead of going with Riley or Mom completely pointless.” She dropped her elbows on the table and rested her chin in her hands. “Suckage.”

“But the lack of evil is a good thing,” Willow replied. “I mean, yeah, suckage on the Riley thing, I get that, but no evil a’brewin’?” She leaned forward and whispered, “Isn’t it nice to get a break from the slaying?”

“It’s boring,” Buffy muttered. Her eyes widened a beat later, and she quickly said, “I mean, good. Because I can be all normal girl for a bit. No slayage, of the good.”

“But you’re still all mopey Buffy.”

Buffy sighed as she began to fiddle with the swizzle stick in her cappuccino. “I guess I just miss Riley,” she said, feeling as if that was a good a reason for her blah mood as any. “I mean, a month without smoochies? Cruel and unusual punishment.”

“And you’ve only gone a week so far,” Willow pointed out.

Buffy frowned. “Gee, Wills, thanks for that happy reminder.”

Willow looked chagrined. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s cool. I mean, I should be used to the whole prolonged abstinence thing,” Buffy replied.

Willow turned a little red. “Yeah, I guess.” Wanting a change of subject, she cleared her throat then said, chipperly, “Hey, wanna go Bronzing tonight? That could perk ya right up.”

Buffy thought about it for a moment. While the Bronze was feeling more than a bit overdone at the moment, she figured it was better than sitting at home, eating ice cream and watching movies on Lifetime to remind herself there were people out there with more pathetic lives than hers. “Yeah, sure. Bronzing sounds cool.”

“Yay! Let’s here it for the Bronze then,” Willow said with a grin. “I’ll call Xander when I get home, and we’ll get the whole gang there.”

“Great.” Buffy stood, picking her bag up and putting it over her shoulder. “Hey, I need to go check in with Giles about last night’s lack-of-vamp patrol. Meet you guys at eight?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Willow agreed with a nod. “More than sounds like…is a plan!” She smiled so Buffy smiled back.

“Catch you later then, Wills.”

Buffy walked away from the Expresso Pump, kicking at the gravel beneath her feet. She knew she should be enjoying the current lull, but instead, she just felt antsy, in need of some sort of release she couldn’t even name. She was restless, full of energy with no place to spend it.

Then, suddenly, her world began to spin, and Buffy fought to keep her balance. She stumbled forward, her hands stretched outwards from her sides. Her bag slipped to the ground, its contents spilling out onto the sidewalk.

Then, just as quickly was it had come on, her dizzy spell was gone. Frowning, she knelt down and picked up her things, stuffing them back into the bag. She looked around, but saw nothing out of the ordinary.

Writing it off as just the effects of having nothing in her stomach but the cappuccino and half a biscotti, Buffy shrugged and continued on to her Watcher’s.

*** *** ***

Did I catch your interest with this one? Please leave a review and let me know if you want to see where I’m going with this.

After her completely uneventful check-in with Giles, Buffy had returned to her empty house. She was feeling even more restless now, and she’d had to stop herself from snapping at Giles over stupid things several times.

She went almost immediately into the kitchen, tossing things from the pantry onto the counter until she find a bag of cheez doodles. She ripped the bag open without preamble, leaving the wreckage from her search in her wake.

From there, she made her way into the living room, planting herself on the couch with her booted feet on the coffee table. She grabbed the remote and flipped through the channels, landing on Oprah and an exposé on “troubled teens.”

“I’d be a skank if I had her for a mother, too,” Buffy said, mouth full of half-chewed cheez doodles. “That woman should so have her Laura Ashley privileges revoked.”

At the point of the touching reconciliation, complete with tearful hug, Buffy burst into laughter, little orange bits flying from her mouth, though she didn’t care. “Please! She’ll be back to boinking the football team in a week.”

She reached back into the bag, frowning when she found it empty. “Well, fuck all,” she muttered, throwing it on the floor in annoyance. Buffy glanced at the clock, seeing that she still had several hours until she was supposed to meet the gang at the Bronze.

With a shrug, she decided if she had to be here with nothing to do, she might as well not even be awake.

She laid face first down on the couch and promptly passed out.

*** *** ***

“Everything in my closet blows,” Buffy announced to no one in particular, grimacing at the overabundance of bright and cheerful. She ripped open one of her drawers, rummaging, grinning as she located her favorite pair of leather pants.

“Except these,” she said. “These totally rock.” She kept digging in the drawer, smiling when she found a matching top. Yeah, that would do nicely…

Once she was dressed, she went to her dresser, dumping out her make up bag, letting the stuff she didn’t want fall to the floor. She grabbed her black liquid eyeliner with flourish, applying it generously until her eyes were darkly ringed. From there, she picked up her mascara, running the wand over her eyelashes. She paused for a moment, observing her reflection before reaching up, using the mascara to add black streaks to her blonde hair. She topped the look off with blood red lipstick, then smiled at what she saw in the mirror.

“Damn, I’m hot,” she said, her grin spreading.

Maybe she could find some fun in Bronzing after all.

*** *** ***

“Um, does anyone else think Buffy is acting a little funny tonight?” Willow asked the group gathered with her at their table.

“Funny how, Wills?” Xander asked before taking a sip for his soda. “Funny ha ha or…”

“Funny weird,” Willow finished for him. “I mean, she’s been dancing with any guy that comes near her, I’ve heard her say things that would make a sailor blush, and now she’s fighting with the bartender because he won’t give her whiskey shots!”

“It’s the lack of sex,” Anya replied matter-of-factly. “Abstinence makes people go crazy.”

Buffy swaggered back over to the table, straddling a chair and resting her face in her hands. “Fucking bartender. I should just jump over the damn bar and take the fucking bottle. Like to see the little shithead stop me.” She sighed. “God, I need a fucking smoke.”

“Uh, Buffy? You don’t smoke,” Willow pointed out, her tone wary.

“Yeah, and I should,” Buffy replied. She pulled herself upright and looked around. “Maybe I can bum one.”

Xander, Willow, Anya, and Tara glanced around the table at each other with shared looks for concern. “Buff, maybe it’s time to call it a night,” Xander said, reaching out to take Buffy’s arm.

Buffy snapped back away from him. “I don’t want to. Although this place is like a little piece of hell.” She perked up. “Hey, want to go knick a bottle of the good stuff? I can so totally get off with it if you guys distract the clerk.”

“I’m up for it,” Anya replied with a shrug.

“No. No!” Xander said, waving his hands wildly. “There will be no distracting and no…no knicking! Buffy, you’re acting like…well, you’re acting like you’re forty and you got into magic candy. And…and you’re going home right now.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Eat me, Harris.”

Xander sputtered. “Wha…”

“Buffy!” Willow exclaimed with a gasp. “What is wrong with you?”

“You guys,” Buffy replied with an expression of disgust. “You’re lame. And this place blows. I’m out of here.”

She got up from the table, though Xander reached out to try to stop her. Buffy grabbed his arm, squeezing it just tight enough to hurt. “Leave me alone, or I’ll crush your fingers. Clear?”

Xander nodded, his throat bobbing as he swallowed hard.

“Good.” Leaving her friends dumbfounded, Buffy walked out of the Bronze, snatching a just-lit cigarette out of a man’s mouth as she passed him outside. She ignored his protests, walking on instead, ignoring the burn in her lungs as she inhaled.

“Gotta be some fun to be had in this town,” she said to herself as she made her way down the dark streets.

*** *** ***

Spike wasn’t sure what good it was being able to fight demons if there were no demons around to fight. It seemed like everything worth having a good brawl with had up and gone on holiday for the summer.

Deciding to call it a night despite the relatively early hour, Spike trudged back to his crypt, hoping he could at least find something halfway decent to watch on the telly.

However, when he reached the door, he stopped, his ears perking. Music was coming from inside the crypt, and he knew he hadn’t left any playing when he’d gone out.

Cautiously, he pushed the door open, his hand wrapped around a stake in the pocket of his duster. The scratchy sound of his well-worn copy of Never Mind the Bollocks filled the crypt, and Spike noted that whoever his intruder was, he at least admired their taste.

He turned, searching, and his eyes landed on a small, leather-clad form. His nose was telling him Slayer, though he blinked, for once not trusting his sense of smell. The woman stretched out on his floor, listening to his records and painting her nails with his bottle of black nail polish could not possibly be Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Then, she looked up, her dark-rimmed eyes meeting his, and Spike knew it was.

“Hey, Spike,” she said as if him coming home to find her there was a completely normal occurrence. “Where have you been?”

“Patrol,” he replied, even as he eyed her warily.

“Yeah, I tried that, too,” Buffy said as she screwed the cap back on the polish, then took a moment to inspect her nails. “It’s fucking dead out there.” She giggled at her own unintended bad pun.

Spike blinked. “Uh, yeah… Um, Slayer? Mind telling a bloke what you’re doing here?”

“I’m bored.”

“And that brought you here why exactly?”

“Thought maybe we could do something. You’re the only cool person I know.”

Well, that Spike couldn’t argue with, though he’d never thought she’d actually figure it out. Or admit it to him for that matter. “Do what exactly?” he asked cautiously. He gestured to the polish. “Do each other’s nails?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “No. I just took this ‘cause all I had at home was some pink shit. Hey, can I have a smoke?”

Deciding the best course of action was not to anger Crazy Slayer, Spike fished a cigarette out of his duster and tossed it to her. “Here.”

Buffy caught it, then sat up, crossing her legs in front of her. “Light? I haven’t exactly perfected pyrokinesis yet.”

“Oh, right.” Spike tossed his Zippo her way.

“Thanks, babe,” Buffy replied, then stuck the cigarette in her mouth, flipped the lighter open, and lit the tip.

She took a slow drag, her eyes closing in bliss for a moment, and Spike swallowed. He was quickly coming to the conclusion that the Slayer was under some kind of spell, but damn if she wasn’t hot like this.

Buffy tossed him back his Zippo, and Spike caught it, then watched as she took another drag. She smoked as if she’d been doing it all her life, and Spike knew damn good and well the Slayer was not a smoker.

Yeah, definitely a spell.

“Hey, wanna go steal some spray paint and write obscene things all over Main Street?”

Spike knew he should back away slowly and get the hell out of there before this turned into something really, really bad. Perhaps even be all Good Samaritan-like and clue the Watcher in on something being off with his charge.

But, well he was bloody bored out of his mind and in desperate need of some entertainment. This new turn could prove to be interesting, to say the least

He shrugged. “Yeah, sure.”

Buffy hopped up, her perky smile seeming disturbingly out of place with the rest of her. “Cool. I knew you’d be more fun than the rest of them.”

“Could’ve clued you in on that ages ago, pet,” he told her with a smirk.

“Not sure I would’ve gotten it then.” She lifted the cigarette to her red, red lips and took a slow drag before flicking the ashes onto the stone crypt floor. “I feel different tonight. Like I’m…just waking up. Noticing things I didn’t before.” She raked her eyes over him slowly and licked those lips. “Things I think I like.”

Spike couldn’t help the shiver that past through him. Whatever had gotten into her, be it a spell or just good old fashioned insanity, he decided he liked it. “Slayer,” he said, the word a growl as he looked her up and down hungrily. She certainly looked good enough to eat, all wrapped up in black leather.

She sashayed towards him, cigarette dangling from her black-tipped fingers, and Spike swallowed hard, every one of his nerve endings on edge. She looked dangerous. He’d never wanted her more.

Buffy stopped inches away from him, close enough for him to feel her breath tickling his lips as she looked up. Then, she was gone, headed towards the door, and Spike blinked, wondering if the last few moments had been a fantasy.

“So are you coming or not, Willie?” she asked, looking back at him over her shoulder.

She may be the one under a spell, but he was enchanted. Knowing he was leaping headfirst into a chasm and not caring a whit, Spike followed her out of the crypt.

*** *** ***

Giles looked up from his book at the sound of frantic pounding on his door. He shut the cover, rushing over and peering out the peephole before opening up to his four late night visitors.

Xander rushed in, followed closely by Willow, Tara, and Anya. “Buffy’s gone insane,” the boy announced.

“Insane?” Giles asked, his brow furrowed as he shut and relocked his door. “Whatever do you mean?”

“She’s dressed like Supertramp and taken up smoking,” Anya stated. “And she’s swearing. A lot.”

“I thought maybe she was Faith again, but Tara insists that’s Buffy in there,” Xander added.

“She wanted us to help her steal alcohol,” Willow supplied with a mix of concern and outrage.

“Dear Lord,” Giles replied. “And you’re quite sure it was Buffy.”

“It was her,” Tara said with a nod. “But something is definitely wrong. Her aura is…off somehow. I can’t quite put my finger on it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like it.”

“We need to do something fast, G-Man,” Xander said. “This is some seriously scary territory.”

“Where is she now?” Giles asked, concern etched on his features.

“We don’t know,” Willow answered. “She left the Bronze.”

“And she was way too scary to follow,” Anya chimed in. “Way, way too scary. She threatened Xander’s hands. I need those in working order!”

Giles shook his head, trying to clear that thought out of his mind before he directed his focus back to the current problem. “We need to research any possibilities for what could be wrong with her. Demonic possession, perhaps?”

“It’s not possession,” Tara said. “It’s only her in there, that much I could tell. It looks like…maybe a spell?” She looked towards Willow, as if searching for verification.

“It could be a spell,” Willow said. “Maybe something to alter her personality?”

“Right. Then we’ll start there,” Giles said, moving towards his bookshelves. “Willow, Tara, perhaps either of the two of you know of something we could do to help us locate the source of any magicks placed on Buffy?”

Willow opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, the phone rang, causing everyone in the group to grow silent. Giles hurried to it, a voice on the other end speaking before he could even say hello.

“Remember, what goes around comes around. Enjoy your taste of karma, Ripper.”

The line went dead, and Giles hung the phone up, though he continued to grip the receiver, white knuckled.

“Giles, who was that?” Willow asked. “What’s going on?”

Giles response was simple, but enough.

“Ethan Rayne.”

*** *** ***

Thank you to everyone who left a review for the first chapter. I was glad to see I caught the attention of a few of you. I’ve had a lot of fun writing this one so far, so I hope you enjoy reading it, too!

Please leave a review.

Spike cocked his head to the side, admiring Buffy’s handiwork. “Didn’t even know you knew that word, pet.”

“Neither did I,” Buffy replied with a smirk. “Love your graphic interpretation, by the way. Looks like that would be fun.”

Spike leered at her, his tongue poking between his teeth. “Oh it is.”

Normally, this would be the part where Buffy would punch him in the nose and call him a pig, or something to that effect. But this time, she smiled slowly, like a cat who still had a mouth full of feathers. “Maybe I’ll let you show me sometime.”

Spike, for once was at a total loss for words. He stared at her, mouth open. Was she toying with him? Had the lack of demon activity recently made her so bloody bored she’d come up with an all new way to torment her favorite whipping boy?

Suddenly, Buffy’s hand shot out, reaching down to cup him hard though his jeans. Spike gasped, then swore, low and hot, under his breath, his body trembling.

“Geez, that’s all it took to make you hard? You’re easy.”

He looked down at her with hooded eyelids, unable to stop his next words. “Been hard since I saw you tonight, Slayer.”

She grinned again, then squeezed harder, and Spike hissed with pained pleasure. Then she was gone again, moving back over to her can of spray paint. Spike blew out a breath. Lil’ cocktease…

Buffy shook the can, frowning. “I’m all out. Shit.” She tossed the can down, letting it clatter against the pavement. “Got anything to drink at your place?”

Spike shook his head, needing a moment to come back to his senses. This night had to rank at the top on the list of weirdest ones of his unlife. “Uh, a little. Not much. Got pretty pissed a couple nights back.”

“Then we gotta get some. I can so distract the clerk if you can stick it in your duster.” She winked. “Don’t worry, I won’t show him my tits. I’ll save those for you.”

With a laugh, she was running down the street, leaving Spike standing for a moment, gaping, before his wits returned and he ran after her.

*** *** ***

“Ethan Rayne? Are you sure, Giles?” Willow asked, worry marring her features.

“That’s one voice I wouldn’t forget, I can assure you,” Giles replied. He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. “He told me what goes around comes around and to enjoy my karma. Oh, good lord.” Giles sat down on the couch, his face paling.

“What is it, Giles?” Xander asked. “What did he do?”

“He turned her into, well, me,” Giles replied, ending with a humorless laugh.

“You?” Anya asked, her nose wrinkled in confusion. “But she was all with the drinking and the smoking—not decked out in tweed, cleaning her glasses and muttering incessantly about books.”

“Thanks ever so for that lovely description, Anya, but I meant he’s turned her into a younger version of myself.”

“Giles used to be badass,” Xander chimed in. “We saw it. There was magic candy involved.”

“I can still bloody well hold my own, I’ll have you know,” Giles replied, shaking his glasses at Xander. “But the important thing is we find out how to help Buffy. We need to find Ethan. I have no doubt that whatever spell he has cast will not be easily removed without him.”

“Tara and I can do a locator spell,” Willow offered.

“Right then. Get on that. I’ll start looking for any other possibilities incase we cannot locate him,” Giles replied.

“And I’ll help with that,” Xander said. When the others stared at him, he added, “Hey, I’m willing to do research if it means saying good bye to scary Buffy.”

The Scooby Gang in agreement, they set to work.

*** *** ***

Well the kids are all hopped up and ready to go
They're ready to go now
They've got their surfboards
And they're going to the discotheque a go go
But she just couldn't stay
She had to break away
Well New York City really has it all
Oh yeah, oh yeah

Spike looked over at where Buffy was leaning against a stone sarcophagus as she took a swig straight from the bottle they’d recently liberated, a still-burning cigarette dangling from the fingers of her other hand. Booze, smokes, the Ramones, and the possibility of sex. It didn’t get any better than this…

And then, she put down the bottle and reached for his crotch.

Sheena is a punk rocker
Sheena is a punk rocker
Sheena is a punk rocker now

The sound of each of his buttons opening seemed to echo in Spike’s ears as she popped them open one by one. Her hot little hand reached in, grabbed his erect cock, and pulled him out into the cool crypt air. He hissed then groaned as she began to pump him, using the precum leaking at the tip to smooth her movements.

“Fuck yeah, pet,” Spike moaned, arching up. He knew this wasn’t right. Buffy was clearly not herself and would probably dust him the moment she returned to her right mind. But hell if he cared. He was getting the best damn handjob of his existence.

And if she could make him feel this way with just her hand…

She's a punk punk, a punk rocker
Punk punk, a punk rocker
Punk punk, a punk rocker

A mischievous twinkle in her eye, Buffy snubbed her cigarette out on the stone floor and leaned down, filling her mouth with his cock. She pulled up, her teeth scraping lightly against sensitive skin, then went down again, taking him further. Spike yelled something intelligible and his hand shot out to tangle in her hair.

Bits of the mascara she’d put in her hair earlier flaked off on his hand as Buffy slid up and down, moaning around him as if his cock were the most delicious thing she’d ever had in her mouth.

He was babbling, he knew, and he wasn’t even sure what he was saying, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t say he’d never thought about this before, but never in his wildest dreams had he ever imagined she’d be this good.

Then she was gone, and he was crying out at the loss, fearing she’d simply brought her earlier teasing to a whole new level—until he realized she was taking off her boots and shimmying out of her pants.

She looked at him like a predator sizing up her prey as she got down on all fours and crawled across the floor and up his body, but Spike was more than willing to surrender. She could whip out a stake now, and he’d go without a fight—as long as she let him feel the inside of her delicious pussy just once.

Buffy poised herself over him, yet she didn’t take him in. Instead, she leaned forward, her lips against his ear. “How long have you wanted to fuck me, Spike? Tell me.”

“Bloody forever,” Spike replied, unable to hold back a moan when she licked up the column of his neck. “Since…since the first time I saw you.”

“Did you stroke your cock and think of me?”

“Yes… God, Slayer, please…”

“First I’m gonna tell you a secret,” Buffy said, her lips at his ear again. “Wanna hear?”

His only response was a whimper. Buffy took that as a yes.

“I wanted to fuck you, too. I’d dream about you, pounding into me, and I’d wake up, all sweaty and wet…”

“Fuck! Buffy, please…”

He could feel her smirk against his skin, hear it in her voice. “And I never thought you were the begging kind…”

It was then that something inside of him snapped. With a roar, he tossed her to the ground, her back hitting the stone floor. Then, he was on her, his cock pushing forward, her pussy surrounding him, hot, tight and wet.

“Spike! Fuck, yes!” Buffy screamed, euphoria reflected in every syllable. “Yes!”

Spike was snarling above her, thrusting hard and wild, his demon screaming for sex and blood. Buffy was keening and moaning, holding his arms with her fingernails tearing his skin.

Without breaking contact, Spike rocked backwards, sitting with her in his lap, forcing him deeper within her. Buffy didn’t miss a beat, bouncing on his cock now, her long, blonde hair flowing behind her.

He needed to see more of her, needed to see those firm, high tits she’d teased him about earlier. He reached for the bottom of her shirt and Buffy lifted her arms, knowing without words what he wanted.

Spike tossed her top to the side and leaned forward, taking a nipple into his mouth and sucking hard. Buffy grabbed his arms again, holding on as if she needed him to anchor her. She made a harsh, grunting sound with every thrust, and Spike thought it was the sexiest thing he’d ever heard.

Until she came…

Buffy’s scream of release was long and loud, echoing off the stone walls of his crypt. Her pussy grew impossibly tight, and Spike pulled up from her breast, vamped, roared, and let go.

They collapsed in a heap together on the floor, both panting, though only one of them had any need. It was several moments before Buffy could look up, and when she did, she wore a sated smile.

“Well, hey there, Fang Face.”

Spike didn’t realize until that moment that he was in game face, and it touched him that she didn’t seem to care, even when he was still embedded inside her. “Hey there yourself, Slayer.”

She fell back on his chest, though the smile didn’t fall from her face. Her fingers began to trace patterns on his chest, but Spike caught them and brought them to his lips for a kiss.

“We shoulda done that a long time ago,” Buffy said, her fingers tingling from his lips.

“Oh yeah,” Spike agreed. “Much better than all that trying to kill each other stuff.”

Buffy giggled. “Much.”

Reluctantly, Spike nudged her upwards so they could sit. He pulled his duster down from where he’d thrown it over the sarcophagus and fished out his smokes, putting two in his mouth to light before handing one to her.

“Thanks,” Buffy said as she leaned against the sarcophagus and brought the cigarette to her lips.

After a moment, she looked over at him again, her mouth growing dry at the sight. His hair was rumpled, allowing her to see for the first time that it was naturally curly, and his still semi-hard cock was hanging out of his open jeans.

She decided the only thing wrong with the picture was that she was naked and he wasn’t.

A gleam in her eye, Buffy set forth to rectify that problem.

She’s a punk rocker now…

*** *** ***

Buffy knew something was different about her. She knew that, a couple days ago, she never would’ve been on her hands and knees on the floor of a crypt, screaming in pleasure while Spike fucked her wildly from behind.

She just didn’t know why the hell not.

Spike grabbed her hair, wrapped the long, blonde strands around his wrist, and jerked up, pulling Buffy backwards until she was on her knees, her back pressed against his chest and his cock still buried deep inside her.

“You love this, don’t you, Slayer,” he said, low and husky against her ear. It wasn’t a question.

If she hadn’t been on the brink of yet another orgasm, she would’ve called him on his cockiness. Instead, she answered his question with a low moan.

“Say it, Slayer. Tell me you love my cock.”

“Uhn… Love it, Spike…” Buffy moaned, bouncing up and down in time with his thrusts. “Fucking love your cock.”

With his free hand, he grabbed her hip, bruising hard, pushed her down; held her there and came with a roar.

Buffy followed him over.

He let her go and she fell forward, her palms hitting the stone floor hard. She panted, her body shaking as she whispered over and over again, “Oh god, oh god…”

Spike turned around and lay back on the floor, his hands folded under his head. Buffy looked over at him. He winked.

Unbidden, she began to giggle. It made him smile. “Feel good, baby?” he asked, though the twinkle in his eyes told her he more than knew the answer to that question.

“Fuck yeah,” she said with a rush of breath. She crawled over to him and climbed on his chest, snuggling closer as he brought his arms down to wrap around her.

He nuzzled her hair, his voice like a purr as he spoke. “You’re so bloody warm.”

Buffy trembled softly, and she could’ve sword she’d just had another little orgasm. “Spike…”

“Don’t go home tonight,” he said before he could think about what he was asking—or why he was asking it for that matter.

She didn’t hesitate in responding. “I won’t.”

*** *** ***

Thank you so much to everyone reading this and especially to those who have taken the time to review. Knowing you’re enjoying this goes a long way towards helping me keep writing when my life is as busy as it has been recently. I appreciate everything you’ve had to say!

Willow sighed heavily and looked up from the map. “Still no luck, Giles. We could try again if you wanted.”

Giles shook his head, even as he heaved a heavy sigh. “No. I’m certain you’d only get the same results. Ethan must be making it so he can’t be located by magical means.”

“So what do we do?” Xander asked. “I mean, we know it’s Ethan, but we don’t know what he did, or where he is, or even where to start looking for him or what he did, and…I’ll just stop talking now because I think I’m bringing down an already-depressing party.”

Giles leaned against the wall, his glasses dangling from his fingers and a worn look on his face. “You are, however, correct. We seem to be at a dead end.”

“Well, I for one just want to go bed,” Anya said, slamming the cover of the book from which she’d been pretending to research. “It’s very late at night, and it’s not like Buffy’s in danger or anything. I mean, she’s tough enough when she’s only half as bitchy as she was tonight.”

“Ahn!” Xander exclaimed.

“Actually, I believe she may have a point,” Giles said. When the four other pairs of eyes in the room turn to him, he added quickly, “Not about the…” He coughed. “About it being late. Perhaps we would be able to figure this out better in the morning.”

“So we just go to bed and pretend Buffy’s not under some crazy spell?” Willow asked, her voice rising in pitch.

“No, we get some rest and approach this fresh in the morning. Whatever Ethan’s up to, it does not appear that it’s extended past Buffy at the moment, and while she may not quite be herself, I don’t believe she’s in any immediate danger.”

“But she’s smoking and drinking, Giles!” Willow protested. “That’s unhealthy.”

Giles sighed, the sound weary. “Really, Willow, I don’t think a day of Buffy smoking and drinking is at the top of our list of worries.”

“But Giles…”

“No more arguing,” Giles said, cutting her off. “Off with all of you now. We’ll reconvene in the morning.”

“Morning Scooby meeting—does that mean I’m on doughnut duty?” Xander asked.

“Yes. And you bloody well better not skimp on the jellies,” Giles said, shaking his glasses at the younger man.

Xander saluted. “Aye, aye cap’n. See you in the morning.” Despite his earlier protests when Anya had suggested calling it a night, Xander now took her hand and led her towards the front door.

Willow stood. “I’m still not liking this, Giles.”

“Duly noted. Go home.”

Willow continued to grumble as she left, yet she made her way out the door, too. “Good night, Mr. Giles,” Tara said softly as she followed closely behind Willow.

“Good night,” Giles replied, closing the door behind them. He leaned against it, waiting until he was certain they were gone before he went out himself.

Giles knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Ethan Rayne remained in Sunnydale—and he was determined to find him.

*** *** ***

Buffy smiled contentedly, rolling onto her back and looking up at the trees overhead shading her from the sun. She heard a low growl and looked up, meeting the eyes of a sleek panther stalking towards her. She wasn’t afraid, even when the big, black cat was right there, looming over her.

Slowly, it dipped its head, its tongue coming out to lap her behind the ear. She reached up, scratching its head, and it purred low in its throat as it licked her again.

“Mmm…good kitty,” she murmured, her eyes drifting shut.

The cat moved down, licking her across her chest, then down her abdomen. Her eyes shot open and she gasped when his tongue settled between her legs, sweeping across her bare pussy with long, slow licks.

Then, her eyes opened for real, and her hips bucked up, pressing harder against Spike’s face. “Oooh…”

Knowing she was awake now, Spike’s probing tongue became more insistent, slipping between the folds of her flesh to discover her clit and lave it with attention. Buffy spread her legs wider, let them fall over the side of the sarcophagus they’d ultimately used as a bed, and gave him better access.

He purred like the cat in her dream, and she whimpered needily and fisted her fingers in his hair.

The purr became a growl and he licked harder. Buffy’s whimpers became shouts. She pleaded with him, for release, for respite, for both.

And when he pulled her clit into his mouth and sucked hard, she broke apart against him, bucking wildly, yanking at his hair with enough strength to take a few of the pale white strands with her.

Spike crawled up her body slowly, licking his lips as he did. She panted, watching him through hooded eyes. He hovered over her face for a moment then dipped down, kissed her, let her taste herself as he wrapped his tongue around hers.

Finally, he broke away and looked down at her with a self-satisfied smirk. “Good morning, Slayer.”

“Uh huh,” Buffy replied, her brain not seeming to remember how to make words.

Spike’s smirk grew at her response and he dipped down, nuzzling her neck. “Did you call me a good kitty earlier?” he asked with a nip to her ear.

“Nice dream,” Buffy said, caressing his bare back, loving the way his muscles rippled against her skin.

A nip against her neck. “Sorry to wake you then,” he teased.

“Better reality,” Buffy said, one of her legs wrapping around his. “Fuck me. Now.”

She growled the last word, which she timed with a thrust up with her hips.

Spike replied with a growl of his own as he grasped his cock, lined it up with her entrance, and pushed in hard.

“Uhn…Oh yeah!” Buffy screamed, just the feel of him inside her a release in of itself.

“Tight…hot…” Spike said between thrusts. “Fuckin’ perfect…” His jaw clenched as Buffy ran hands back down his back, scraping his skin with her nails before she landed on his ass, pushing him to grind into her harder.

Buffy’s orgasm hit her hard, roaring through her, and she acted on instinct as she leaned up, her teeth sinking into Spike’s neck as he moved over her. She broke the skin, tasted his blood as it dropped into her tongue.

The unexpected bite sent a shock through Spike’s system, his body overloading with white hot pleasure. His fangs descended, and he didn’t—couldn’t—think as he returned the bite, taking slow pulls of her blood as he filled her with his release.

Coming down from his euphoric high, Spike was lapping at the shallow cuts on her neck when he realized what he’d done. He pulled up, looking at her in terror and expecting anger.

What he didn’t expect was to see her smiling. She reached up and cupped his cheek, then moved her hand down, running her thumb over his lips and wiping off her own blood before offering to him. He opened his mouth, sucked her thumb in, and moaned as he caressed it with his tongue.

Even with everything they’d done the night before and this morning, watching him as he savored the taste of her blood was the most erotic thing Buffy had ever seen. “God, that’s hot,” she said, the words coming out before she even knew what she was saying.

He opened his eyes and cocked his head to the side, letting her hand drop. “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah,” Buffy replied. “Lick my neck.”

Grinning wide, Spike dipped down again.

*** *** ***

“You’re gonna take all the jellies?”

Xander whipped around, his eyes going wide as he saw Buffy standing behind him. “What are you doing here?”

“In the doughnut shop?” she replied, eyebrow cocked. “I know it’s a bit out of left field and all, but I’m getting doughnuts.”

“Um, yeah.” Xander cleared his throat. “You took off last night, and we didn’t know where you were.”

“That would be because I didn’t tell you.”

“Right.” Xander glanced around nervously, wondering how exactly to handle this. Should he tell her she was under a spell, or would that just make her cranky…uh, crankier? He decided he needed to get her to someone other than him. “Um…I was on my way to see Giles. Why don’t you come with me?”

“Nah, I’m just in for doughnuts. I was hungry and all Spike has is blood.”

Xander gaped and sputtered. “What? Spike?” He noticed then she was still wearing her leather pants from the night before, only now her top was an oversized black t-shirt. She couldn’t have…

“Oh yeah, I spent the night at his place,” Buffy replied. She stretched, working out sore muscles, and tilted her head to the side.

Immediately, Xander’s eyes went to the telltale mark on her neck.

Doughnuts were suddenly the furthest thing from his mind. “He bit you!” he declared, forgetting they were in a public place.

Buffy’s eyes glazed over at the memory. “Mmm…yeah, he did.”

Xander blinked and shook his head, not trusting what he was seeing. “This is…I can’t…” He took her by the arm and started to lead her out of the shop.

She wrenched her arm away. “What the hell are you doing?”

“You need to come with me, Buffy,” Xander told her. He lowered his voice and told her in a hissed whisper. “You’re under a spell.”

“I’m not going anywhere but back to Spike,” Buffy replied, her eyes narrowing dangerously. “And so help me, you touch me again, and I’ll fucking break your arm off.”

Xander backed up, his hands in the air. “Buffy, listen to yourself. This isn’t you. You’re under a spell. Ethan Rayne is back in town, and he did this to you. And Spike…” Xander infused the vampire’s name with every bit of disgust he felt for him. “He took advantage of you, and when you come to your senses, you’ll…”

Buffy burst into laughter, stopping Xander in mid-tirade. “You’re so uptight,” she said between giggles.

“Buffy!” Xander exclaimed in shock. “This…this is serious!”

“Whatever. You can take the jellies, I’m getting out of here.”

“You…you can’t!”

“Uh, yeah, I think I can,” Buffy replied, eyebrow arched. “And you know what? I’m gonna go back to Spike, and I’m gonna let him fuck me some more. What do you think about that?”

“I can’t let you do that.”

“You can’t stop me.”

For a moment, they stared each other down, eyes locked. He knew she was right. He couldn’t stop her.

Not alone anyway.

Without another word, he broke out in a run.

*** *** ***

Buffy burst into the crypt, picked up Spike’s jeans, and tossed them at him. “Up, lazy boy. We gotta go.”

Spike blinked, catching the jeans with one hand as he sat up on the sarcophagus. “What?”

Buffy sighed heavily. “Ran into Xander. He saw the bite. There was wigging, and I’m pretty sure he went to stage an intervention. We need to go before they get here and do that annoying thing they do where their mouths are moving.”

“Right then.” Without any further questions, Spike started to dress. While it may be a simple “intervention” for her, Spike knew Buffy’s friends would have much more planned for him if they knew he’d bitten her—most likely the pointy end of a well-sharpened stake. “We’ll head out through the sewers. We can get to my car from there.”

“Good.” Buffy picked up a pack of cigarettes from where she’d discarded them earlier, plucked one out, and lit it. She took a drag, hoping to calm her nerves. “God, I don’t know why they can’t just leave me the fuck alone, you know? I have to either be perfect little Buffy or I’m all wrong. I hate it. I can’t live my life on a pedestal.” She brought the cigarette to her lips again, pausing for a bit before she spoke again.

“You know, I bet he was getting those doughnuts because they called a Scooby meeting about me. I don’t want to hang with them for one night, and it’s the end of the fucking world. I can have my own life! I…I don’t have to do what they want, or think like they do. I…I don’t have to date who they want me to date!”

She was breathing heavily, almost hyperventilating, but she stopped when she felt Spike’s hands on her arms, steadying her. “It’s all right, sweetheart.”

Buffy met his eyes, and felt something she almost couldn’t name. It had been elusive for so long.

Peace.

“Take me away from here, Spike.”

“I will.”

*** *** ***

Please review.

Giles felt tired and bone-weary as he trudged back to his apartment. His search for Ethan had turned up nothing, and he’d reluctantly decided to come home, knowing the others were sure to be arriving soon.

However, when he got home, he found that they were already there—and gathering weapons.

Or at least Xander was. And Willow looked…panicked. Tara was clearly worried, as well.

Anya was examining her fingernails.

“Giles!” Xander exclaimed, wheeling around with a battle axe in his grip. “Spike’s chip isn’t working!”

Giles blinked and took a step backwards. He was tired, his mind had been focused on Buffy and her dilemma for the entire evening, and now… “Has he been killing…is Buffy…?” he asked quickly.

“He bit her!” Xander said, waving his arms wildly, seemingly oblivious to the axe he still held. “I saw her this morning.”

“They fought? Did he escape? Where was she?” Giles asked, worry and confusion warring on his features.

Anya heaved a heavy, dramatic sigh. “They didn’t fight. They had sex. The chip’s probably still working, too. Xander’s just overreacting, and he didn’t get any doughnuts.”

Giles coughed, blinked, took off his glasses, and blinked again. “What?”

“Anya!” Xander exclaimed. He raised his hand once more, and this time the axe went flying backwards into the wall. He jumped, turned to stare at it for a moment, then looked back at Giles sheepishly. “Sorry…”

Giles took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Would someone please just tell me what’s going on?”

“It’s not a big deal,” Anya said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Xander ran into Buffy this morning, she said she’d spent the night with Spike, and he went all psycho. And did I mention he didn’t bring doughnuts? I’m hungry.” She finished by crossing her arms over her chest.

“Xander also said she had a bite mark on her neck,” Willow added, shooting Anya a look. “Buffy’s got this spell on her, and she’s alone with a chipless Spike. That’s a very bad thing.”

“Pfft. His chip’s probably working fine. Now can someone go get some doughnuts?” Anya said in response. “Or at the very least, a bagel.”

“But he bit her, Ahn,” Xander said, speaking slowly.

Anya turned to him, responding just as slowly. “It probably didn’t hurt her.”

“It was a vampire bite!”

“It was during sex! Geez, Xander, it’s not like you complain when I bite you during sex.”

An awkward silence fell over the room for a moment following Anya’s declaration. Tara broke it with a cough.

As he vigorously polished his glasses, Giles began to stammer out a response. “Well, I’m sure it was… I…”

“We should get Buffy away from him,” Willow said. “Because when this spell is over…”

“Quite right,” Giles said, then cleared his throat. As far as he was concerned, the matter needed to be discussed no further—only dealt with.

Xander went over to the wall and removed his axe. “Then let’s go.”

*** *** ***

“You do realize it’s hard to drive with you doing that.”

Buffy looked at Spike, her eyes wide and innocent. “Doing what?”

“Gee let me think? Giving me a…fuck!...handjob.”

Buffy giggled, her hand moving up and down tortuously slowly. “It is hard alright.”

Spike knew there was a good chance that if they kept this up, he could wreck the car. On the other hand, they were two superbeings in a very sturdy car. He grabbed the back of her head and pushed her down.

Buffy didn’t miss a beat, immediately taking his cock into her mouth, her hand moving down to stroke him at the base. Spike gripped the steering wheel tightly and groaned.

“Bloody hell, you’ve got a hot little mouth, Slayer.” Buffy made a small sound in the back of her throat in response and Spike hissed in pleasure.

Smiling around his cock, Buffy decided this was by far the best road trip she’d ever been on.

*** *** ***

“He’s kidnapped her!” Xander wailed in despair. “That…that…evil fiend!”

“Maybe they’re still here somewhere and just haven’t found them yet,” Willow said, glancing furtively around the crypt. “Did we check in the sarcophagus over by fridge?”

“They’re not here. They’re probably somewhere having more sex,” Anya said, her boredom obvious in her voice. “Can we go now?”

“Anya, this is serious,” Xander said. “Spike could be eating Buffy right now.” When all other eyes in the room turned on him, Xander yelled, “In a bad way! Get your minds out of the gutters, people. Sheesh.”

“Xander, as disturbing as all of this is,” Giles began, “we don’t have any real proof that Spike is ea…er, hurting Buffy. If they have indeed gone off together, then perhaps the best course of action is to redouble our efforts in attempting to reverse what Ethan has done so Buffy will be herself again and able to deal with Spike on her own.”

“We need to find her and make her get away from him, Giles,” Xander argued.

“And how exactly do you propose we do that?” Giles snapped. When he realized his voice was harsher than he’d meant, he calmed. “I’m sorry. I’m simply…well, exhausted and worried, and well…even if we find her, if she does indeed wish to be with Spike, then I doubt there’s anything we can do to get her away from him. She is the Slayer, and rather stubborn even when she’s not under the influence of powerful magicks.”

“But even with the spell, she can’t really want to be with Spike, right?” Willow said. “I mean, even when you were all Rippery, I bet you didn’t do anything like have a crazy fling with a vampire. You weren’t that wild, right?”

Giles turned red and looked down.

When the crypt grew awkwardly silent for several beats, Tara spoke up, “I…um…say we go work on breaking that spell.”

“Yes, I would agree that would be the best course of action at this point,” Giles replied, clearing his throat.

Without another word, the five of them filed out of the crypt.

*** *** ***

“Baby, your blanket’s still on fire.”

Spike stomped on the blanket in question with his booted foot then went back to grinding Buffy against the motel wall. “’S not now.”

“We could have…oh god…waited to come inside until you were…uhn…less flammable.”

“No…” Spike nipped at her neck as he pushed his denim-covered cock hard against the junction of her thighs. “Wanted to come inside now.”

He turned and tossed her on the bed, Buffy bouncing slightly on the mattress as she hit it. Then, he stalked towards her like a predator, all want and swagger. Spike saw the heat in her eyes as she watched him moving closer, her pink tongue darting out to lick her lips. He smirked.

“That what you want, too, pet? Want Spike to fuck you good and proper?”

Buffy smirked back. “No. I want Spike to fuck me hard and nasty.”

His grin broadened before he pounced. Buffy squealed in delight, then moaned in pleasure when his lips found hers.

“Want the vampire to ravage you then, little girl?” Spike growled against her lips.

An impish look passed over Buffy’s look for a moment before her eyes widened with faux fear. “Oh no, not that!”

Spike’s eyes gleamed as he leered down at her. So baby wanted to play… “Scared of the Big Bad, are you?”

“Oh, yes. Please let me go, you…big scary vampire you!”

Spike wasn’t quite sure what made her act less convincing—the fact she was trying unsuccessfully to hide or smirk or the way she was still grinding herself against him, but either way, he was enjoying this.

“Don’t think so, baby. Gonna make you scream.”

Buffy pushed weakly at his shoulders. “Oh, please have mercy on me, you mean vampire.”

“No mercy for you,” Spike said, letting his demon face slide forward. He pulled up, grabbed her, and threw her on her stomach, her head and arms dangling off the bed. He held her still with his knee as he pulled off her boots then her pants.

“Please, let me go! You’re so evil—I’m frightened!”

“Don’t think so, baby,” Spike replied in a growl. He unbuckled his belt and opened his jeans, pulling his cock out into his left hand as he used his right to reach down and grab her wrists to pin her arms at the small of her back.

Buffy grunted as Spike pushed in hard, and Spike growled low, wondering idly for a moment if he’d even get used to the feel of her heat surrounding him before she pushed back against him and clenched her inner muscles, and he couldn’t think clearly at all.

For her part, Buffy found her eyes locked with the sight in front of her. She could see herself in the mirror, her hands locked in place, her body moving with each of his hard thrusts, yet not the vampire who was currently buried inside her.

Still she knew, were she to be able to see him, his face would be rough, his eyes yellow, his mouth full of fangs. She was being fucked by a monster…

And it was turning her on.

“Bite me!” she yelled. “Bite me hard!”

Spike pulled hard on her arms, tugging her up to her knees. She tilted her head, offering him the chalice he’d longed for. He snarled and leaned in, letting his fangs slide into her flesh, careful to make it about pleasure, not pain.

Buffy gasped, moaned low as she reached up to cup the back of his head. She kept her eyes locked on the mirror, watching blood run from the shallow cuts on her neck then disappear as his tongue lapped the ruby-red liquid away.

Then, he paused, pressed his lips against the wound, and breathed in deep. “Fuck, Slayer… Want, need…Buffy…”

Suddenly, the mirror wasn’t good enough. She needed to see him, needed to look in his eyes. She pulled away from him, a look of hurt confusion going over Spike’s face before she pushed him down onto his back and straddled his hips to take him again.

Buffy leaned in, kissed the ridges on his brow. “Not pushing you away…needed to see your face.”

“Oh, baby,” Spike replied, raw need in his voice. He slid his hands up her bare back, then tangled his fingers in her hair.

She pushed up his t-shirt and scraped her fingernails against his chest, listening to him hiss in response. Her hips were grinding against his frantically, her release just out of reach.

Then, she was there, screaming as she clenched around him, milking his cock as he followed her over, bellowing her name.

Aftershocks still coursing through them, Spike held Buffy tightly against him, feeling a desperation to keep her there with him.

Buffy kissed his neck, murmuring softly. “You’re a very sexy monster, you know.”

Spike chuckled and responded with a kiss on the top of her head. “’Bout time you noticed.”

“I noticed before, but I didn’t want to,” Buffy admitted. “I…was attracted to you from the very beginning, but… It scared me. I don’t know why now, though. I can’t…I can’t seem to remember what frightened me so much.”

“You don’t need to be frightened, kitten.”

Buffy looked up and met his eyes, blue again. “I don’t?”

Spike started, realizing what he’d just said. Then, he realized it was true. “No.”

She rested her hands on either side of his face, smiling softly before she leaned in and pressed her lips to his.

*** *** ***

Ethan Rayne watched with pure glee as Rupert and his little band of Slayerettes searched desperately for a solution to their problem. He had to say, while this may have only created chaos on a small scale, it was delicious chaos indeed.

He peered down over Giles’s shoulder at the book he was reading. “Not even close, Ripper,” he scoffed.

With a self-satisfied smirk, Ethan chuckled as Giles reached the same conclusion and slammed the book shut before standing and heading back over to the shelf.

And walked right through Ethan.

A grin spread across the sorcerer’s face.

Delicious chaos indeed…

*** *** ***

To answer a question several of you have asked: this is not a claiming fic. It is simply a biting fic. Spike has not claimed her, nor do I intend for him to claim her. Sorry if that’s a disappointment to anyone, but that’s not a route I’d planned to go in this story.

Please review.

Buffy couldn’t remember a time when she’d felt so alive. Everything that weighed on her seemed have to disappeared, leaving her free to act on impulse, to put herself first for once.

She pulled up on her knees, bouncing slightly against the mattress. Spike chuckled around his cigarette. “In a good mood, baby?”

“Yup,” she relied, grinning. “Hey, we’re in L.A.—wanna go pay Angel a visit?”

Spike coughed, his own good mood suddenly plummeting. “Why the bloody hell would I want to do that? You do know I hate the ponce, right?”

“Course you do,” Buffy replied. She picked at one of her nails, a bit of the black flaking off. “I wasn’t talking about a social call, Spike. He’s been such a dick lately. I was just thinking it might be fun, you and me…get a little revenge.”

Spike’s eyebrow cocked. “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah.”

“What did you have in mind, pet?”

A slow smile spread across her face, and Spike knew he was going to like this…

**** *** ***

Ethan had to say this was one of the most enjoyable experiences of his life. Watching Ripper and his gaggle of pathetic little children try unsuccessfully to find the answer to helping the Slayer when it was right under their noses the whole time was bloody delicious.

Rupert kept telling the children they had nothing to fret about, but Ethan knew his old friend well enough to know that he was, in fact, worried enough for the lot of them. Ethan could practically see every bad – and dangerous – deed Ripper had done running through the other man’s mind as he wondered if his young charge was doing the same.

And now that it appeared she had run off with a vampire of all things… Well, this was turning out even better than Ethan could have imagined.

Still invisible to those around him, he folded his hands behind his head, leaned back against the sofa, and did what he loved best—gloat.

*** *** ***

Buffy stood beside Spike, trembling with anticipation as she waited for him to work open the lock on Angel’s car. She knew there was a chance they could get caught at any moment – even by Angel himself – and somehow, that only seemed to add to her excitement.

“Got it,” Spike announced, grinning at her for a moment before he opened the door. “After you, baby.”

Buffy giggled, but quickly dove into the backseat, Spike following after her. As soon as the door was shut again, he was on her, pushing her down to her back and kissing her. “So how are we going to do this?” Buffy asked as Spike broke away.

He looked down at her, the yellow of his eyes glinting in the light of a nearby streetlamp. “I want him to smell you everywhere. I want the scent of you being pleasured by another man to drive him bloody mad.”

Buffy trembled, his possessiveness turning her on more than she ever would’ve thought before. “Fuck yeah…”

Spike made quick work of stripping her below the waist, a low, steady growl in his throat as he did. Buffy shook with desperate desire before he even settled between her legs, her juices dripping onto the seat beneath them.

He lifted her legs and pushed them up, making room for both of them in the back seat. Her scent was intoxicating him, and he knew when Angel smelled it mixed with Spike’s it would infuriate the older vampire. Spike thought it would serve him right for taunting him with Dru for so many years…

Although as quickly as the thought of Drusilla entered Spike’s mind, it left, all of his desire focused on the woman spread out in front of him now. He ran his finger slowly up and down her slit, moisture coating the digit. She moaned and thrust her hips towards him, wanton in her need for him.

It was a heady feeling, knowing he could make the Slayer herself like this.

Buffy, however, decided he was being too slow. She grabbed the back of his head and shoved it roughly down. Spike smirked against her and, never one to give up that sort of invitation, he began to favor her clit with hard, fast licks. Buffy keened, her fingers tightening in Spike’s hair as she ground herself against his face.

When Buffy’s body began to tighten, Spike reached up and pulled her hand from her hair and sat up. She cried out, thrusting up into the air, begging without words for the return of his tongue, but Spike had other plans. He filled her with three fingers, moving them in and out of her pussy before his mouth descended, this time lower, to her thigh. His fangs pierced her flesh, blood filling his mouth even as more ran down her skin and onto the seat beneath her.

Buffy screamed, one hand shooting out, tearing at the fabric beside her. Lights burst behind her eyelids, the orgasm she was experiencing now one of the most tense she’d ever known.

Suddenly, Spike was wrenching her up and pulling her into his lap. She realized he must’ve found a chance to undo his jeans, because before she knew what was happening, his cock was inside her, thrusting deep. Buffy moaned, grateful when he snaked his arms tightly around her because she didn’t know if she’d be able to stay upright without him.

He snarled and growled against her, full demon as he took her now. Already another orgasm was building inside of her, so soon after the last, and when she saw Spike’s focus turn to her neck, she tilted her head to the side without protest, offering him what he needed.

He took it, and this time they came together.

His cock soft but still nestled inside of her, Spike continued to hold Buffy against him, his hand shaking as he rubbed her back. After several moments, she looked up, her nose crinkled.

“I can smell sex in here.”

Spike smirked. “It’s gonna make ol’ broody pants go batty.”

Buffy giggled. “Serves him right for being such a dick. L.A.’s his town and I should stay out. Please.” She rolled her eyes. “I was fucking born here.”

Spike arched an eyebrow. “He said that?”

“Yup.” Buffy replied with a nod. “And then, he came back to Sunnydale and beat up Riley.”

“Well, can’t really fault him for that last part,” Spike said with a shrug.

Buffy snorted. “Yeah, looking back, neither can I. What was I thinking dating that idiot?” She shuddered.

“Temporary insanity?”

“Ha. Well, at least I got over it and found someone better.” Buffy leaned in and nibbled lightly at Spike’s neck. “Someone who knows how to satisfy me every time.”

Spike’s hand roamed down to cup her bare bottom. “Captain Cardboard didn’t know how to do it for you, sweetheart?” he teased lightly.

Another nip to his neck. “Not like you, baby. I got so sick of laying under his too-bulky, sweaty body.”

“Not gonna have that problem with me.”

“No. You’re all hard, cool muscle. And you fit so perfectly with me, Spike.”

He looked up then, examining her face in the darkness with his head cocked to one side. “We do fit, don’t we?”

“Yeah.” Buffy giggled. “Who woulda thunk it?”

“A week ago, probably no one.” Spike tucked a strand of golden hair behind her ear. “Does this mean something to you, Buffy? More than just amazing sex?”

Her blush as she ducked her head was concealed by the darkness. “Why? Does it mean more to you?”

Even if he knew there was the chance he could have his heart stomped on yet again, Spike didn’t hesitate in his answer. “Yes.”

Buffy looked back up. “Really?”

“Yeah.” He laughed nervously. “Hell, this sounds crazy even to me, but I think I’m falling in love with you, Slayer.”

He expected ridicule, maybe even anger. Despite her sudden personality change, he never expected the Slayer to respond well to his declaration of possible love.

What he didn’t expect was a kiss.

*** *** ***

It was a crowed club, and yet all eyes kept seeming to travel to the blond couple on the dance floor. Yet they seemed to be in their own world, almost oblivious to the fact they were surrounded by other people, a fact made clear when he picked her up and carried her off, her legs wrapped around his waist and her lips fastened to his neck.

They ignored two women standing at the sinks as they pushed into the bathroom and into one of the stalls, Spike bothering to lock the door only to ensure that Buffy wouldn’t tumble to the ground when he pushed her against it.

He held her with one hand while he removed a boot, then switched to the other side, taking off that one as well. “As bloody sexy as you look in leather, pet, I think you need to get yourself an easy access skirt or two.”

Buffy giggled as the leather pants in question hit the floor. “Why don’t I just cut a hole in the crotch for you?” she teased.

“Don’t tempt me,” Spike growled. “If it was up to me, you’d spend all your time on your back with your legs up.”

“You’re such a romantic,” Buffy replied drolly, though as soon as he thrust inside of her, her tone changed. “Uhn…forget romance. This is better.”

He smirked at her. “You know you want this all the time, too, luv.”

Buffy moaned, her eyes rolling up in her head as he hit her in the exact right spot. She did. She felt drunk of desire for him. Even with Angel she’d never felt want as intense as this.

The stall door shook on its hinges, but surprisingly managed to support the two overly-amorous superbeings.

When Buffy came this time, she was the one to lean in and take a bite, her teeth tearing into Spike’s neck. He cried out in surprised pleasure and slammed her hard against the door before spilling inside of her.

Even as she came down from her orgasmic high, Buffy still lapped at the wounds on his neck, moaning softly as she tasted his blood. Spike closed his eyes in bliss, one hand stealing up to stroke her hair as he realized he hadn’t been completely honest with her in the backseat of Angel’s car. He wasn’t falling in love with her.

He was in love with her.

And when she pulled up from his neck, met his eyes, and licked the last bit of his blood from her lips, he knew his fate was sealed.

But before he could say the words, she’d slipped from his grasp and was struggling to get dressed again in the stall. Spike fastened his jeans, deciding the dirty bathroom of a nightclub probably was not the best place to make that declaration anyway.

When they stepped out of the stall, the two women were still standing there, slack-jawed. Buffy could see the mixture of envy and desire in their eyes as they looked at Spike, and a primal part inside of her wanted to scream at them, ask them why they didn’t see her mark on his neck. But instead she grabbed him for a deep, slow kiss, making her possession of this man clear in a way the two other women understood.

Her point made, Buffy walked out of the restroom with Spike’s arm around her and a contented smile on her face.

*** *** ***

It was nearly dawn when Giles was awakened by a pounding at his door. He grumbled as he sat up straight on the couch, the latest book he’d been researching from tumbling to the floor.

He fumbled for his glasses as he made his way to the door, assuming it was one of the teens coming back to begin their search to help Buffy yet again—most likely Willow given that this was not an hour at which Xander was accustomed to being awake.

Giles was taken by surprise, however, when he opened the door to Angel instead.

Angel spoke without preamble. “Giles, it’s Buffy. She’s in trouble.”

*** *** ***

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Buffy and Spike had gone from the club back to their motel room, the quickie in the bathroom doing very little to quench the desire between them. Buffy had never wanted anything like this before. Every second Spike wasn’t inside of her felt wasted.

Yet the more she had him, the more she wanted. Her body ached, screamed constantly for him and only him. She was drunk on lust. Drunk on Spike…

They toppled to the bed, a tangle of limbs, lips instinctively finding each other. Desperate hands tugged at clothes, an overriding need coursing through them both to feel skin on skin.

A shared sigh of relief sounded in the room as Spike finally slid inside of her, allowing them to be joined once again.

“Never…felt…never felt anything like…Buffy!”

“Spike…Spike…need…don’t stop!”

“Won’t stop. Can’t stop. Need you, baby. Always need you…”

“Always…”

Spike looked into her eyes and what he saw there made his throat go tight. For once at a loss for words, he caught her mouth with his.

*** *** ***

The panicked look on Angel’s face coupled with his statement about Buffy being in trouble caused Giles to usher him in without question. “What’s going on? Have you seen her?”

Angel shook his head. “No. I…” He paused, and until that moment, Giles wouldn’t have thought it would even be possible for a vampire to blush. “I smelled her.”

From his own seat, Ethan Rayne perked up. Oh, things just kept getting better…

“Where? And did you just say you ‘smelled her?’”

“Yeah. In, um, the backseat of my car. Along with…” He stopped and coughed into his hand. “With Spike.”

Angel had expected Giles to panic. Instead, he merely nodded. “So they went to Los Angeles then.”

Angel blinked. “Wait, you knew about Spike and Buffy? And you’re…okay with it?”

From his seat, Ethan couldn’t stop chuckling. He loved it when an evil plan went even better than he’d imagined.

“I’m not okay with it. I…” Giles sighed heavily as he gave into the urge to remove his glasses. “Buffy’s under a spell. She’s not…acting like herself.”

“And she’s run off with Spike? Couldn’t you have stopped her?”

Giles threw up his hands. “Stop her! Why didn’t I think of that? I should’ve just stopped the bewitched, crazed Slayer. How silly of me.”

Angel frowned. “Giles, I think this is more serious than you think. I smelled Buffy’s blood.”

Giles sighed wearily. “Yes, well, it appears Spike’s been biting her.”

“Biting her? I thought he had some chip in his head that prevented him from hurting people. That’s what Buffy told me anyway. How could he…” Suddenly, Angel put two and two together as he was painfully reminded of the scent that accompanied that of Buffy’s blood. “Oh.”

“However, though she may not be in any immediate danger from Spike – no matter how unsavory the situation may be – she is in some trouble from…”

“Giles, are you alone here?” Angel asked, cutting him off.

Giles frowned, noticing that Angel seemed to be paying attention to something he couldn’t decipher. “Other than you, yes. Why?”

Ethan swallowed hard, his glee quickly dissipating as he realized there may have been a flaw in his seemingly-perfect plan after all…

“There’s another scent in here. I didn’t catch it at first since I’ve been, um, trying not to smell anything on the ride up here, but there’s a scent of someone here I don’t completely recognize.”

Giles frowned, trying to figure out who it could be. “Willow has a new friend I do not believe you’re acquainted with. Tara…”

Angel shook his head. “Tara? No, it’s a masculine scent, and it’s not a lingering trace. It’s someone who’s still here.”

Slowly, Ethan got up from the chair, his eyes trained on the partially opened front door. Perhaps his stay-and-gloat had gone on long enough this time…

However, before he could manage to make it out, Angel’s hand shot out, grabbing him on the shoulder.

“There’s someone right here, Giles. He must be doing some kind of cloaking spell to hide himself, but I can smell him and apparently, I can touch him, too.”

Ethan struggled to get free, but the vampire’s grip, but it was too strong, and he was trapped.

“Ethan,” Giles said through clenched teeth. “It has to be him. He must’ve been here, cloaking himself the whole time – which would explain why we couldn’t locate him.”

“Is he the one who put the spell on Buffy?” Angel asked.

“Yes. I believe you two met before.”

Angel nodded. “Eyghon, yeah, I remember. Got rope, Giles?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.”

Ethan slumped. This was the part of his evil plans he didn’t like…

*** *** ***

Spike lay in the rumpled motel bed with Buffy curled at his side, smoke wafting up as they both enjoyed a post-coital cigarette. The sun had risen outside the pulled-tight curtains, and with it came the natural pull towards sleep Spike always felt at this time of the day. However, he didn’t want to give in, didn’t want to let this moment end.

The last time between them hadn’t been like the others. It had been…tender, soft. It had been something he’d never experienced before – not once in the century he’d spent with Drusilla.

He remembered what he’d wanted to say to Buffy back in the club and how he’d wanted a better moment. This was a better moment. Quiet and peaceful, he could say it now and hope he didn’t ruin everything.

“Buffy?”

She looked up at him. “Yeah?”

The sight of her made Spike’s unbeating heart clench. She was draped in the white hotel sheet, one firm, tan leg stretched out past the edge. Her long, blonde hair was tousled, mussed from her rolling and his fingers, and her own long, slender fingers held a cigarette which she brought sensuously to her lips, making Spike tremble as she did.

“Spike? You gonna say something, or are you just gonna stare?”

Spike cleared his throat, her words pulling him back to the moment. He could say this…needed to say this. She needed to know how he felt, what he wanted this to be. Maybe if he said this now, then whenever she got over whatever this was making her act not quite right, she’d want to stay with him.

It was a longshot, he knew, but after what he’d felt with her tonight, he was starting to genuinely fear the idea of her going back to who she used to be and leaving him. This wasn’t just a game to him anymore, wasn’t something he was doing for a bit of a lark. His feelings for the Slayer ran deeper than he’d ever allowed himself to admit before.

“You know how earlier I said I thought I was falling in love with you?”

Buffy nodded. “Yeah, I do. Not really something you forget. Why?”

Spike scratched the back of his head, wondering why this was so difficult. He was always the type to say whatever he thought. Then, an image of Buffy ridiculing him and his feelings passed through his mind and he winced. Could he really take that?

“Well, I…um…”

Buffy reached out and put her hand on his leg. “Spike, it’s okay. I love you, too.”

Spike stared at her for a moment, his jaw dropped. “You…I…why?”

She couldn’t help but giggle at his dumbstruck expression. “Well, why not? I’m happier with you than I’ve ever been with anyone else.”

This wasn’t how Spike had expected this to go at all. It was going, well, well. “But are you sure it’s…it’s love?” he asked, not fully able to believe this was actually happening. This wasn’t how things worked for him…

Buffy put out her cigarette then moved closer to Spike, cuddling against his side. “I’m sure. I know it’s crazy, but I’m sure.” She ran her fingers up and down his chest, and Spike finally gave into the smile that wanted to curve on his lips. “Now are you gonna actually say the words to me or not, huh?”

Spike grinned. “I love you, Buffy.”

“And I love you, too.” She leaned up to steal a kiss before she cuddled against his chest, her eyes closing.

Spike stubbed out his cigarette before he curled up with her and drifted off to sleep with a smile still on his face.

*** *** ***

“So Ethan’s really right there?” Xander asked, pointing to a seemingly-empty chair. He waved his hand over the seat, seeming to go through air. “That chair looks empty. Are you sure Dead Boy hasn’t just gone insane, uh, er?”

“He’s there, Xander,” Angel replied, not bothering to hide his annoyance. “I can smell him and I can touch him.”

“Well how come you can touch him if we can’t?” Xander asked.

“It’s a demon thing,” Anya replied matter-of-factly. “Spells don’t always work right on demons.”

Ethan sighed, once again testing the strength of the ropes the vampire had somehow been able to use to tie him up. As he’d discovered every other time, he was very securely tied. If his legs weren’t bound as well, he could kick himself for not foreseeing this particular glitch. Bugger…

Well, tied to a chair or not, he wasn’t lifting the cloaking spell. They had him, but he was still invisible to everyone and it seemed as if even the vampire was still incapable of communicating with him. He’d just wait it out until he found his way to escape.

“Giles!” Willow exclaimed. “I think I found an answer in this book, at least to part of our problem. There’s a spell here that’s supposed to be able to reverse the effects of cloaking spells. I bet we’d have a better chance with Ethan if he couldn’t hide from us anymore.”

Ethan rolled his eyes skyward at the young witch’s declaration. Wasn’t that just his luck… Or, more appropriately, lack thereof.

Giles took the book from Willow, giving a terse nod as he read it over. “Yes, I think this could be of some use. There are a few ingredients listed here that I do not have, however.”

“But I think we can get them all from the magic shop,” Willow replied. “Tara and I will head over there now.”

“Right then. Go do that now. The sooner we get this cloaking spell down the sooner I can…convince Ethan that breaking the spell he’s placed on Buffy is in his best interest.

Unheard by anyone else in the room, Ethan groaned. Why did these things never go his way?

“Don’t worry, Mr. Giles, we’ll be quick as…” Tara stopped abruptly and her gaze shifted to Anya for a moment before she finished with, “Quick as some very fast but not hoppity animal.”

Giles nodded. “We’ll be waiting for you.”

Happy to finally feel like she had a defined mission in front of her, Willow headed out with her girlfriend.

*** *** ***

Spike couldn’t help the big grin on his face as he watched Buffy. She was wearing nothing but his t-shirt, her hair up in a messy, high pony tail. She’d turned on cartoons and was now laughing at the exploits of the coyote and roadrunner as she ate Lucky Charms straight from a box she’d lifted the previous night from a grocery store.

She was by far the most adorable thing he’d ever seen.

“Enjoying yourself, luv?” Spike asked as he leaned against the headboard.

“Yup,” Buffy replied, mouth full of Lucky Charms. “I like the coyote. He reminds me of you.”

Spike arched an eyebrow. “That so?”

“Uh huh. His plans go about as well as yours.” She laughed loudly, clearly very amused with yourself.

“And I suppose you fancy yourself the roadrunner then.”

She turned to look back at him, a teasing smirk on her face. “Beep beep.”

Spike responded by tackling her, knocking Buffy to the mattress and the Lucky Charms to the floor. Buffy squealed as Spike pinned her arms down. “Oh yeah? Who’s on top this time, baby?”

Buffy just grinned before she wrapped her legs around his waist and flipped their positions, wresting her hands free so she could pin his instead. “Me. And you love it.”

The grin Spike gave her in response was all the answer she needed.

*** *** ***

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Ethan knew his time was running out as he watched the two witches assemble what they needed for the de-cloaking spell. He tried to tell himself it was only a minor setback. After all, his central goal of getting revenge on Ripper and his Slayer had been carried out. Even if they sent him back to prison, at least he’d know he took them down with him.

However even that thought couldn’t make him any keener on facing whatever fate was ahead for him, and his dread only began to grow as he felt the cloaking spell he’d wrapped around himself begin to slip away.

Yet when he did, he kept his head up high, refusing to look defeated. Instead, he smirked, meeting his old friend turned nemesis straight in the eye. “Hello, Ripper. How lovely it is to see you again. Or something of the sort, since I, in fact have been able to see you for quite some time now.”

Giles glared in response, his glasses dangling from his hands as his arms stayed firmly crossed over his chest. “I’m not in the mood, Ethan. Undo what you’ve done to Buffy.”

Ethan sighed dramatically. “Ripper, Ripper. Have you forgotten your manners?”

Suddenly, Giles was moving forward, his glasses hitting the ground as he snatched Ethan’s collar, shaking him against the rope that bound him to the chair. “I’m not in the mood for this, Ethan. Undo what you’ve done to Buffy now.”

“I can’t,” Ethan croaked, struggling to speak with the grip Giles had on the fabric around his neck.

Giles let go of Ethan and took a step back. “What?”

Ethan took a deep breath then repeated, “I can’t. The spell is set to break on its own after a certain period of time. Until then, there’s nothing I can do.”

Before Giles could reply, Angel had moved in, grabbing Ethan in the Watcher’s stead. “You’re lying,” he snarled. “Stop this right now.”

Fear flooded Ethan’s body as he watched the vampire’s forehead grow rough and his fangs descend, but he tried his best to hide it. “I’m not lying!”

Angel roared, releasing Ethan roughly and making the chair spin backwards and hit into the wall before he turned towards Willow. “You can do something,” he snapped. “Break the spell now before she’s violated anymore by that…monster.”

Willow trembled, her eyes wide. “I…I…don’t think I can. I don’t know anything about the spell…I…”

“Try something!” Angel bellowed.

Suddenly, Tara was standing between the two of them, surprising everyone in the room. “Hey! She said she can’t, so just back the hell off!”

Angel blinked, his demonic features receding as the blonde witch took him completely by surprise. “I, um…” He took a step back, looking sheepish. “I’m sorry. I’m just going a little crazy thinking about what Spike could be doing to Buffy.”

From behind them, Ethan began to laugh. “Oh, I bet you are.”

Angel turned and growled. “Shut up.”

“Really, ‘cause I’m thinking taunting the jealous vampire is not a very good idea right now. I for one am not in the mood for picking entrails out of my hair today,” Anya said from her place beside Xander.

Angel turned his attention on her and hissed, “I’m not jealous.”

Anya rolled her eyes. “Okay, whatever. You’re not jealous because Spike’s doing things to Buffy you can’t. Got it.”

Giles sighed, walking past Anya and Angel to approach Ethan again. “How long is this spell going to last?” he asked.

“Until it breaks.”

For a moment, Giles was silent as he fought to reign in his anger and keep himself from attacking Ethan again. “I won’t play this game with you. How long is this spell supposed to last?”

“Until it breaks,” Ethan repeated, slower this time. When Giles started for him, he tried to lift his arms, only to be reminded they were tied down. “That’s all I can tell you, Ripper,” he said quickly. “There’s no set date for it to break.” The corner of his lip twitched up. “After all, where’s the chaos in a time table?”

“Can you give us like a rough estimate?” Willow asked.

“Could be days, could be years,” Ethan replied. “It might never break for all I know.”

Angel growled low in his throat. “This is unacceptable!”

“Actually, what I find unacceptable is me being tied to this chair. Perhaps someone could…”

“No!” the other people in the room sounded in unison, drawing another heavy sigh from Ethan.

“We need to figure out someway to break this spell now,” Giles said, bending down to pick his glasses up off the floor.

“Giles, I don’t think I can…”

“I know, Willow. We’ll do research, try to figure something out.”

Willow smiled nervously. “I’ll do what I can, Giles. I want to help Buffy out. She can’t stay like this forever.”

“Then it’s back to the books,” Xander announced, tapping the cover of one of Giles’s hefty tomes.

Ethan groaned as he watched the group returned to their research.

“Can I at least go to the loo?”

*** *** ***

“I used to come here with my friends. You know, before.”

Spike looked down at Buffy as they walked together along the beach, her small body nestled closely against his. The moonlight reflected against her golden hair, making her look as if she were glowing. “Before when, luv?” he asked.

“Before I was the Slayer. Back when I was still just Buffy.” She let out a deep breath, her eyes closing for a second as if she were savoring a memory. “I had some friends who were older, and they had cars. That summer before I was called, we used to drive out here all the time and just hang out. I had my first kiss on this beach.”

Something in Spike warmed inside at the thought of a young, carefree Buffy, not burdened by the weight of slayerhood, and even the mention of another man’s lips on hers didn’t quash it. “That so, pet? So did your mum know you were out here snogging on the beach?” he teased.

Buffy snorted. “Hell no. Mom thought I was sleeping at my friend Kimberly’s. Whose mom thought she was over at my house. They never did catch on to that. Although back then Mom didn’t pay attention to a lot of what I did.”

Spike’s eyebrow arched. “So this whole bad girl thing isn’t so new for you.”

“Well, I wasn’t this bad,” Buffy said with a smirk. “But I got into my share of trouble. For fun reasons anyway. Not because of my slaying duties.”

They walked past a group of teenagers probably around Buffy’s age, laughing and goofing off around a bonfire, and Spike didn’t miss the wistful look in Buffy’s eyes. It had never really occurred to Spike before that Buffy was, in fact, a teenager. He knew, of course. Their first fight had been when he’d crashed her parent-teacher night, after all. And even now that she’d had her first year of college, she was only nineteen. But what sort of life did she get to live? She never even got to go to a party without something evil ruining it for her.

He tried to ignore the pang of guilt he felt when he remembered that evil thing ruining it for her had been him more than once.

She shouldn’t be burdened like she was. This happy, carefree girl he’d spent the past few days with was who she should get to be.

In all the time he’d spent obsessed with Slayers, Spike had never thought about them from this perspective before. He’d always been happy with his existence as a vampire, and though the choice to become one hadn’t truly been one he’d made for himself, he knew if he could do it all over again, he wouldn’t change a thing. But was it not like that for Slayers? Did Buffy truly wish she’d never been chosen?

Spike tightened his arm around her shoulder, noticing how Buffy leaned more into him as he did. They kept walking, past the bonfire until they were alone on the beach again. Buffy had grown quiet, and Spike wondered for a moment if she was upset until she pulled away from him suddenly, mischief twinkling in her eyes.

“Try and catch me, vampire,” she said, a smirk on her face.

“You’re right here beside me, luv,” Spike replied. “Not much of a challenge.”

“I can fix that,” Buffy said before her leg swung out, knocking Spike square onto his bottom on the sand.

“Oi!” he called out, but Buffy had already taken off, the sound of her laughing trailing behind her. “Oh, you’re going to get it now, missy!” Spike called out as he jumped to his feet and took off, running after his little nymph.

Buffy teased him as he chased her, slowing down just long enough to let him get close before she’d take off with another burst of Slayer speed, leaving him trailing again. But the last time she tried it, he was ready, and he reached out and grabbed her before she could get away again. Buffy squealed, kicking and squirming as Spike held her up in the air, bringing her towards the ocean.

“Don’t you dare!” Buffy cried out, even as she couldn’t hold back the laughter that bubbled forth from her.

“And why should I go easy on you?” Spike asked as he stopped ankle-deep in the surf, holding Buffy up over the water. “I caught you fair and square after all.” He acted as if he was going to drop her, only to catch her at the last moment, making Buffy scream.

“Evil!” she yelled. “Put me down!”

Buffy realized her error right before she hit the water.

“Spike!” She sputtered, sitting up and pushing her hair out of her eyes.

Spike chuckled. “You told me to put you down, pet.”

“I didn’t mean in the water, dumbass,” she replied, looking up and noting the smirk on his face. She needed to do something about that…

Suddenly, she was tackling him, bringing Spike down into the surf with her. He called out in surprise before he lunged for her again, the two of them beginning to roll around in the low tide, fighting for dominance. Neither seemed to notice the wet sand as it clung to them, nor the salt water drenching them. Their focus went elsewhere until they were no longer struggling, their goal becoming one in common.

One of Buffy’s boots went sailing past her head, onto the dry sand of the beach, before her leg was pulled from her pants. She fought with Spike’s belt buckle and jeans until they were open and she could take his hard, needy cock into her hand.

In the back of her mind Buffy knew someone could come down the beach at any moment and catch them, but as she mounted his hips and slipped down over his cock, she didn’t care. All she did care about was this man with her and the desire to have him inside her.

She rode him in time with the waves washing over them, and Spike looked up, watching her in awe. The water…the moonlight…Buffy. He’d never seen anything so beautiful in over a century, never known anything that made him feel like this. She burned but drew him into her fire, making him desperate to be consumed.

A wild thing she was. Untamed, but more… Untamable… In a moment of realization, Spike realized it wasn’t the Slayer that was holding her back, wasn’t the Slayer that was keeping her from finding happiness.

But then she was coming around him, screaming his name, and all he knew was mindless pleasure.

*** *** ***

At the first knock at his door, Giles was up and moving, his heart beating faster as he hoped to see Buffy on the other side. However, he realized things were about to get much more complicated when it was, in fact, not Buffy.

It was Riley Finn…

“Hey, Giles, have you seen Buffy?”

*** *** ***

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Riley looked around the room, noticing two things: everyone was there but Buffy and no one seemed to want to meet his eyes. “What’s going on?” he asked, starting to become concerned. “Where’s Buffy?”

“Oh, she’s…” The rest of Anya’s statement was muffled when Xander’s hand went over her mouth.

“Buffy’s slaying,” Xander said quickly. “She had something to slay.”

“Yes. She had something to slay,” Willow repeated, nodding quickly.

Riley looked at her cautiously. He’d known Willow long enough to know when she was hiding something – which meant knowing her all of two seconds, when he got right down to it. The girl was jumpy. “What’s…”

Before he could finish his sentence, Riley’s gaze shifted, his eyes catching something large and dark near the kitchen. His eyes narrowed and his body tensed. “What the hell is he doing here?”

Angel glared at Riley. “I’m here to help Buffy,” he snapped.

“With the slaying!” Willow piped up. “Angel’s here to help Buffy slay the thing that needs to be slayed.”

“Buffy doesn’t need his help,” Riley replied, his angry gaze still narrowed on Angel. “The only thing Buffy should be doing with a vampire is making sure it’s dust. Now where is she?”

“She’s in Los Angeles,” Giles said, stepping between Angel and Riley. “Angel came to bring word of some possible demonic activity, and Buffy went to see to it. There’s no need for any concern.”

“Yeah, she’s just with Spike,” Anya said, making Xander immediately regret his decision to remove his hand from her mouth.

“Spike?!” Riley yelled. “What the hell is she doing with Spike?”

“He’s helping her with the slaying!” Willow replied quickly. “Because he’s, you know…strong.”

“What are you all not telling me?” Riley asked.

“Riley, I can assure you everything’s fine,” Giles replied, giving the others a look to keep it shut. “Buffy’s fine, and she’ll be back soon. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Riley crossed his arms over his chest. “Everything’s fine?”

“Yes.”

“Then tell me, why is Ethan Rayne tied to a chair?”

*** *** ***

“Spike, I’m seriously trying to shower here.”

“And I’m seriously trying to shag you in the shower.”

Buffy slapped his hand away when he reached for her breast. “I’m covered in sand. I have sand in places where I have no business having sand. So you keep your hands to yourself while I try to get rid of it.”

“I could help you with that, you know,” Spike replied, leering.

“Oh no, buddy. You’re the one who got it there in the first place. You stay on your side.”

“But you’re wet and naked and…naked.”

“You said naked twice.”

“You’re glorious. It was warranted.”

Buffy shook her finger at him. “Behave. I’ve got sand to get rid of.” She turned around, facing away.

Spike looked down, his head tilting as he took in the view of her ass. “So not helping matters, luv,” he said as a shiver ran through him.

“I told you to behave, Spike,” Buffy grumbled as she stepped under the water.

“And you should know by now that I never behave, pet,” Spike replied, his voice dangerously seductive. He grabbed her, pulling her back against his chest, and Buffy squeaked in surprise. He brought her down with him to the bottom of the tub, pulling her into his lap and spreading her legs wide, allowing the water to wash over her bare pussy. His fingers moved to open her up, rinsing the errant particles of sand from her.

“See, baby? I told you I could help.”

Buffy moaned and leaned back against his chest. “You’re…oh…a good helper.”

He smirked against the top of her hair. “Turn around, kitten. Gotta make sure we get the back, too.”

Buffy did as he asked, not arguing this time as she turned herself around, still in his lap, her legs on either side of him. As soon as she was situated, Spike made his move, grabbing her hips and pulling her down on his cock. Buffy cried out in surprise, even as tremors of pleasure ran through her.

“Spike! This isn’t…uhn…washing me.”

“No, it’s shagging you, which is what I wanted to do all along,” Spike replied as he thrust up inside her. “You were the one who seemed to think showers were for getting clean.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Silly me.”

He kissed her forehead. “Truly ridiculous, Slayer. Now shut your gob and let me show you what the shower is really for.”

She was going to argue more, but then his hands were on her waist, moving her up and down on his thick cock and she lost the will to quip. There were better things she could be doing with her mouth. Like tasting the delicious patch of skin at the hollow of his throat…

Later, she’d wonder how he’d managed to get traction with the slick base of soap and water beneath them, but as he thrust hard inside her, his ability to seemingly-defy the laws of physics didn’t seem to matter.

For his part, Spike watched her in awe, hardly able to believe this water nymph riding his cock into oblivion was really his. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, the warm water of the shower rushing over her, drenching the long golden strands of her hair and running down her firm, pert breasts. His mouth watered, desperate for a taste of her skin if not her blood, and he pulled her forward, directing a nipple into his watering mouth.

Buffy moaned loudly as soon as his mouth closed around the peak, and when he bit down with blunt teeth, she exploded, her scream reverberating off the walls of the shower. Her inner muscles clamped down around him so hard, Spike gasped, her breast falling from his mouth as his hips shot forward, propelling them forward in the tub. He slipped down the side, his head bumping against the porcelain, but as he erupted inside her, he didn’t care.

Buffy leaned forward and Spike slid back up into a sitting position, cradling Buffy against his chest. “Did we get all the sand, luv?” he asked after a moment.

She looked up, blinked. “There was sand?”

He laughed – the rich, deep laugh she’d come to adore. It was genuine delight, so unlike the ones she normally heard. “No sand. Only shagging,” he replied with a grin.

Buffy leaned forward to rest against his chest again. “Mmm…I like the shagging.”

“I know, sweetheart. Me, too.”

Buffy’s eyes were closing, and Spike could feel her relaxing further against him. He stroked her back, rubbing soothing circles against her wet skin. “Tired, baby?”

“Yeah,” she replied, punctuating her response with a yawn.

“So I finally wore you out then?” Spike asked with a teasing smirk.

Buffy responded with a half-hearted punch to his shoulder. “Jerk.”

“Never once denied it. Come on, let’s get you out of here.”

She was comfortable here, but Buffy knew the water would soon grow cold, and it would be better to get out now. She could cuddle back up with Spike in the bed, where it was warm and comfortable.

And bed did sound good. So, so good. She was tired, keeping her eyes open a struggle.

“You need help getting to bed, kitten?” Spike asked.

Buffy nodded against his chest. “Uh huh. I’m sleepy.” She looked up at him, opening one eye. “But not ‘cause you wore me out.”

He smirked again. “’Course not.” He moved her off of him long enough to stand and turn off the water, then climb out of the tub. He wrapped a towel around his waist before grabbing one from Buffy, helping her to her feet and running the towel over her body and hair.

“Come on, luv. To the bed now,” he said softly as he lifted her into his arms. Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and placed her head against his shoulder,

“I love you,” she murmured sleepily against his skin.

“I love you, too, kitten.”

“I always want to love you, Spike. I always want to feel like this.”

Spike knew he should’ve been dead too long to feel anything like warmth, but he didn’t know what else to call what was filling his chest now. “Me, too, sweetheart. Me, too.”

She was already asleep before they even made it to the bed, and Spike tucked her in under the covers and brushed a gentle, reverent kiss against her forehead. “I never thought I’d get to have this with anyone, Slayer,” he said, even though he knew she wouldn’t hear his whispered admission. “I never thought anyone would look at me the way you do.”

He went to the other side of the bed and climbed in, pulling her into his arms. Even in sleep, she moved into them easily, her body fitting so well against his. In all the years he’d spent on the planet, Spike had never known contentment like this.

It was even worth giving up feeding on humans, he realized, though he’d never, ever speak those words out loud. Still, to himself, he could admit he had become grateful for the chip for what it had allowed to happen. He’d found what he’d spent over a century looking for, and while logic would dictate he never should’ve found that with a slayer, he couldn’t deny how very right it felt.

Spike pulled her closer and fell asleep with a smile on his face.

*** *** ***

Even before Buffy opened her eyes, she knew something was very, very wrong. Her body ached and her head was throbbing. She assumed this was what it would feel like to be coming off a bender, even though she knew she’d never been on one before.

She lay still, afraid to open her eyes and feel the influx of pain that threatened to come with the action. She’d rather stay here, curled up against the nice, strong, cold body beside her.

Wait…cold body?

Buffy’s eyes shot open, and though it made her head scream, the shock of who was beside her vastly outweighed the pain.

Then, she remembered. She remembered feeling different, being different. She remembered lashing out at her friends and eww had she been smoking?

And Spike… A dark blush covered her skin at the memory of all they’d done. Spike had made love to her in ways she hadn’t even known were possible until he’d shown them to her.

She remembered everything she’d felt, everything she’d said. How Spike’s eyes looked whenever he slid inside of her…

Another memory crept into her mind, this one of Xander and the doughnut shop. He’d tried to tell her she’d been under a spell, the work of Ethan Rayne, supposedly.

Which meant this had all been a spell. The girl she’d been for the past few days hadn’t been her at all. She had been someone created by a spell, no more than an illusion.

Buffy had to get out. She couldn’t allow Spike to wake up and find her here, not now, not that things were all different. He stomach and her head were reeling, and all she wanted to do was run.

She slipped out of bed silently, careful not to wake Spike. Quickly, she dressed, listening for signs of him stirring, but not able to bring herself to look at him.

Not even when she left the motel room and ran out into the bright daylight.

*** *** ***

Please review.

Buffy hadn’t felt this drained in a long time. She’d sat on the bus for the entire trip back to Sunnydale from Los Angeles and cried, her head against the window and her body drawn in. Even now that she was back in Sunnydale, the tears were coming, and she was grateful no one had been at her house looking for her.

She thought she should probably go see Giles, let him know she was back to herself, since if Ethan Rayne had been involved, Giles was probably worried out of his mind. And if Ethan was out of prison and in Sunnydale, she should be doing something about that, too. But she couldn’t, not now, not when she felt like this. She felt as if she’d lost a part of herself, as if something vital had been ripped from her.

Buffy wrapped herself around her pillow and buried her face in it. The scent was all wrong; she cried harder.

Whenever she got past this, she was hurting Ethan, that much she was sure of. To do this to her, to make her into an entirely different person – the sort of person who would think it was love when it was Spike – was something for which he would pay dearly. She had opened up and given everything, and now she had nothing.

She wanted to forget it happened at all. She wanted to erase every bit of it from her mind, and yet she couldn’t – not when the traces still clung so strongly to her. Her body was sore, aching in ways it hadn’t even after her most grueling battles in the past. Bite marks on her neck and inner thigh still tingled, and the memory of how they’d gotten there still made her blood rush.

Buffy closed her eyes tightly and tried to force those images out of her mind. She didn’t want to think about Spike touching her, kissing her, biting her.

It was all wrong – everything was wrong now.

She needed to get up, to face the world, to be the Slayer again, but she couldn’t.

Not now.

Not when she couldn’t stop crying.

*** *** ***

Spike knew before he was even fully awake that something was wrong. He was cold…

He realized he hadn’t felt cold in days. Not like this. The warmth he hadn’t felt in more than one hundred years before these past few days was gone again.

He knew what that meant.

Spike didn’t want to open his eyes, didn’t want to get the visible confirmation of what he already knew.

But he had to. He had to let reality come crashing in, no matter how much it made his unbeating heart ache. Spike rolled onto his back, a deep, shuddering sigh sounding from him as he opened his eyes and saw her gone.

She’d left nothing. Her clothes were off the floor, and there was no good-bye.

He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t. Big Bads didn’t cry over losing some chit. He’d known this was going to happen. Even when she’d been telling him she loved him, even when she was making him believe it, he knew it wouldn’t last.

The spell would break; they always did. Then he’d be alone; he always was.

He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t going to hurt. He was stronger than that, colder than that. He was a vampire, vicious and cruel. He’d gotten his rocks off with the Slayer, gotten to taste her sweet, sweet blood. He didn’t need her to stick around, didn’t need to keep her.

Spike wiped at his eyes.

*** *** ***

Giles sat on his couch, his glasses dangling from between his fingers and his head in his hands.

There were too many bloody people in his apartment.

Despite the fact there had been no further word from Buffy, no one seemed to want to leave. Willow, Tara, Xander, and Anya were spread out amongst his furniture, all asleep. Riley stood by the door, apparently engaged in a several-hour staring contest with Angel.

And during it all, Ethan sat still tied to a chair, smirking. It took all Giles had not to simply kill the other man.

Giles had mentioned several times during the night that perhaps it would be better if everyone simply went home. He’d even gone upstairs and slept. However, it seemed that he was still stuck in a full house.

He wondered if Riley and Angel had as much as moved the entire night.

Giles needed something to break and soon. He was worried enough about his slayer without having his home invaded on top of it.

A loud pounding sounded at the door, and Giles sighed heavily, dreading who it could be. If it was someone else here to stay, then he might just bloody well move out himself. Still, he got up and moved towards it, noting that no one else was bothering, though the four sleeping were beginning to stir.

The second the door was opened a crack, Buffy barged in. Her eyes were wild and bloodshot, her hair a tangled mess around her face. “Giles, I really need to talk to you.”

Before Giles could respond, two familiar male voices said Buffy’s name in unison, and her eyes bulged. This, she had not been expecting. She’d come here needing to talk to Giles, to get his advice since she didn’t know who else to turn to.

She didn’t need to be tag-teamed by her exes.

That thought made her pause. Was Riley her ex now?

“Where have you been?” Riley asked as he elbowed Angel out of the way and embraced Buffy. “I was worried about you.”

Buffy returned the hug stiffly as she wondered just how much Riley knew – and how long he was back. “I was out of town,” she replied as she broke free of his arms. “I thought you were still in Iowa.”

“I came back early to surprise you.”

“I’m definitely surprised.”

Angel seemed to loom over her from his place in the background, and she could feel him glowering at her. She could tell Riley knew, too, and she knew he probably thought Angel was upset from watching Buffy with him. He draped a possessive arm over her.

Buffy knew otherwise, and as she turned towards Angel, her cheeks colored. “So, Angel, um…when did you get here?”

“A couple days ago,” he replied tersely, his eyes boring into her.

Buffy looked down at her feet and cleared her throat. “So I guess you, um, drove here. In your car.”

“Yes, Buffy, I drove here. In my car.”

Buffy was embarrassed. There was no denying that much, she knew. Though a part of her still found the whole thing rather amusing, a fact that surprised her. Hell, even through her embarrassment, she was fighting the urge to point and Angel and laugh.

Maybe the spell wasn’t completely over after all.

And speaking of the spell… Buffy turned her head and caught sight of Ethan Rayne. He’d been quiet since her arrival, and she knew if he could hop away in that chair he was tied to like someone from a Bugs Bunny cartoon, he would. She trained her eyes on his, threw Riley’s arm off of her, and stalked towards Ethan.

He smiled, though his eyes were full of nervousness. “Hello, Buffy.”

“You son of a fucking bitch!” Buffy yelled before leaping at the man, knocking the chair to the ground as she pounced on him, hitting him hard in the face. Riley moved quickly, trying to pull her off, but she hit back without thinking, throwing him off and into one of her Watcher’s bookshelves. Angel swooped in then, pinning Buffy’s arms to her sides as he lifted her off Ethan, her legs kicking in the air.

“Let me go, you asshole,” she snarled at Angel. “I want to hurt him. Do you know what he did to me? Do you know what he took from me?”

From her seat on the couch, Anya watched the whole scene, entertained where the three other Scoobies in the room where horrified. “I thought the spell wore off when she came in here all upset. Is the spell still on?”

Her comment went ignored.

“Buffy, calm down,” Angel snapped, his grip around her tightening.

“No! He…he made me fall in love with a man who can never love me back!”

Her exclamation made the room fall silent for several moments until Riley spoke from behind her, pain and questioning in his voice. “Buffy?”

When he felt Buffy calm in his arms, Angel relaxed his hold, letting her slip to her feet. She turned and met Riley’s confused eyes as he sat in the rubble of what had once been a shelf.

She wanted to lie to him. She knew it was the only way she could get normal back. But the thought of normal now made her insides twist. That wasn’t her, and she couldn’t pretend anymore. She knew there was no way she could endure Riley’s touches now when she knew what it felt like to be truly and completely satisfied. When she knew that without “normal” she could be happier than she’d ever been in her life.

It wasn’t fair to either of them to pretend any longer.

“I fell in love with Spike.”

There, she’d said it, and it felt better to have the words out in the open. Riley didn’t respond, only gaped at her as if he couldn’t even fully comprehend what she was saying. Buffy figured he probably couldn’t.

But Angel could, and she felt him tense behind her before he spat out. “Spike can never love you, Buffy.”

She didn’t look at him, though her head dropped. “I know.”

The apartment suddenly way too crowded, Buffy turned and walked out. No one tried to stop her.

*** *** ***

Buffy’s mind was reeling, and she didn’t know where to go. She wanted Spike. She wanted to be back in his arms where she felt safe and loved.

Spike can never love you, Buffy…

Angel’s words echoed over and over again in her mind, mirroring her own thoughts. Spike never could love her. Not her.

Even as all her slayer training told her a vampire could never love without a soul, the memory of Spike’s eyes when he looked at her told her otherwise.

But he hadn’t been looking at her, not really. Buffy didn’t doubt Spike had been in love with someone, but it hadn’t been her. Not Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Spike had fallen in love with someone who didn’t exist, a girl she couldn’t be.

No, when she was just herself, Spike hated her. He’d made that abundantly clear over the years, and she certainly didn’t think for a second that had actually changed. Of course he’d fall for a girl who wanted to get drunk, listen to punk rock, and fuck him into oblivion. But that wasn’t really her, and Spike didn’t love Buffy.

He never could love her when she was only Buffy.

But when she’d been with him, he’d been Spike. And as much as the revelation shocked her, somehow, she’d fallen in love with Spike. Even now that she wasn’t that girl anymore, she still loved him. He hadn’t been like she’d ever expected him to be, though it made sense, now that she thought about it. Drusilla had been so fragile and needy that of course Spike had to have a sensitive side.

Yet even when he wasn’t being gentle and loving, Buffy still liked him. He was bad and rude, but apparently, she liked that in a man. She’d never really thought of herself as someone who would enjoy rough sex, but now she was wondering if she’d ever be able to enjoy anything else. Even when Spike was at his most tender, everything was intense.

No, tender touches and gentle sighs would never be enough for her again.

Hell, from this moment on, Buffy was pretty damn sure she was just going to have to be celibate.

The whole thing was a mess. All she wanted was Spike, and she knew Spike would never want her. Even if he thought he did, he’d quickly discover she wasn’t the girl she’d been under the spell, and then where would she be? How could she stand that rejection?

How would she be able to take it when Spike figured out she wasn’t enough and told her so? She wouldn’t. It was better to make the break herself, to get out now before she had to suffer the inevitable.

This way, she could always treasure the memories of Spike telling her he loved her, and never have to endure the pain when he finally told her he didn’t.

Buffy stopped short and looked up, realizing she’d walked back to her own house. She was wishing now she’d never left. She’d felt like she had to talk to Giles, to get him to confirm what she already knew: a relationship between herself and Spike was impossible, and she was doing the right thing. She needed to hear that to stop herself from running right back to LA and begging Spike to let her back in his bed.

Things hadn’t gone according to plan, but she’d gotten her answer all the same. Angel had told her what she’d already known, cemented it in her mind. Though at the same time, seeing Riley had let her know that while the love would certainly die for Spike, she was very much still in love with a vampire.

She knew now nothing else would ever be enough.

Wounded, Buffy went inside.

*** *** ***

As soon as the sun went down, Angel was gone. Giles had managed to clear the humans out when Buffy left, and Riley had called his old contacts to get Ethan carted off again.

Giles had spent the hours between then and nightfall ignoring Angel completely, which Angel thought was for the better. He was sure both of them would prefer to simply get this over with and never think of it again.

He didn’t bother with a goodbye as the sun disappeared over the horizon. He simply walked out, trying not to think too hard about the scent that was sure to still be lingering in his car. As soon as he got back to LA, he was having Wesley take that thing somewhere for a serious washing down. Hell, maybe he’d just sell the damn thing. Or torch it…

“Angel.”

He hadn’t expected Riley Finn to be waiting in the shadows, but Angel still turned, met him with a level gaze. “What do you want?”

“Look, I know you don’t like me any more than I like you, which is perfectly fine as far as I’m concerned. But the way I see it, we both have a shared problem right now.”

Angel nodded slightly. That much was true.

“He’s only going to hurt her, especially if he sticks around in Sunnydale.”

“I know,” Angel replied, though he doubted it would be for the reasons Riley was expecting.

“He’s got a chip in his head that would keep him from hurting me,” Riley explained, “so I could stake him without any trouble, but…”

“Staking him will get you a hell of a lot of trouble, boy,” Angel said tightly. He knew Buffy, knew what she’d do for someone she loved, whether it was a wise decision to love that person or not. And the way she’d been earlier… She hadn’t batted an eyelash when she’d tossed Riley across the room. If he dusted Spike when Buffy was as unstable as she was at the moment, well… Angel would almost hate to see what would happen to the good solider.

Almost.

“I know. Buffy, she’s…she’s gone a little crazy.”

Angel arched his eyebrow. This kid really had no idea, did he?

“But if we can get Spike away from her, she’ll be better off, so…”

That much, Angel agreed with. “You want me to help you get Spike out of the picture?”

“Yes,” Riley said, though Angel could see in the other man’s eyes how distasteful the idea of working with any vampire – especially Angel – was.

Angel didn’t think it over for long. His anger with the whole situation had made him forget that what had happened to Buffy hadn’t been completely of her own free will. There had been a spell involved, and now that normal life she needed –that he’d left to give her – was in jeopardy.

Leave it to Spike to put himself first and not care one bit about what he was doing to the girl. He’d never done anything in his whole miserable existence but go off half-cocked.

“I’ll do it.”

*** *** ***

So last weekend I went to see James on Long Island. And my muse who has been sleeping for ages was all like “whoa…pretty…” and bam! I’m writing. That man is a freaking miracle. Anyway, long story short, I was on vacation last week and I wrote a lot. A whole lot. More in a week than I’ve written in months. This story is now actually finished in rough draft form, so I’ll be posting as I clean up the chapters until it’s all up.

Please review!

On the entire drive back to Los Angeles, Spike had told himself he wasn’t going to go anywhere near Buffy. What was done was done, and there was no point in making a fool of himself for a woman who had ditched him like she did. He’d done that in the past and learned his lesson. From here on out, he was going to stop being love’s bitch.

He changed his mind the moment he drove through the Welcome to Sunnydale sign.

Instead, he went directly to her house, pulling the DeSoto haphazardly up to the curb before hopping out and running to the tree beneath her window. A light was on in her bedroom, and if he closed his eyes and listened carefully, he would swear he could hear the pounding of her heart and the rhythm of her breathing.

“BUFFY!”

Her heart sped up, but she didn’t move. It didn’t matter; he knew she’d heard him.

“BUFFY!” She still said nothing, and he sighed, the sound of it as weary as he was. “Slayer!”

Silence was still his only response, but Spike refused to give up. Even if the spell was off, he knew the past few days had meant something to her, the same as they had to him. She couldn’t just turn her back on all of that.

“Come on, Slayer, just talk to me, you bloody stubborn bint!” Spike frowned when she still didn’t make a move. Usually insulting Buffy was the quickest way to get a rise out of her.

He came closer, until he was standing directly below her window. “Buffy! Talk to me, baby, come on! I need you, pet!”

And fuck, did he ever… Without her, every bit of him ached, cried out for her and her alone. Even losing Drusilla had been nothing like this.

But then again, loving Drusilla was nothing like being loved by Buffy.

“BUFFY!”

“Would you shut up out there?!” a neighbor yelled out of his own window, making Spike’s temper flare.

“You shut up!” Spike screamed back, whirling towards the interloper. “I’m tryin’ for an audience with my lady.” He turned again, back towards Buffy. “Slayer! Just poke your bloody little head out and talk to me!”

Finally, the window flew open, and Buffy’s gorgeous face was looking down at him, like his very own Juliet. “Get out of here, Spike,” she called down. She was glaring, but there were tearstains on her cheeks, and Spike knew they had to count for something. She was hurting, which he hated, but if she cared enough about him to hurt…

He wanted to kiss those tears away.

“No. Let me up. I need you!” He smirked and gave her a leer. “Need to touch you. Need to feel you.”

Buffy felt her heart tighten in her chest. Of course that’s why Spike was here. He was beneath her window calling for her – drunk, from the looks of it – because he wanted to get laid. “Go away. You need to just go away.”

“Come on, kitten. You know you want me, too.”

She did. More than anything in the world, she did. Even as her brain told her it was a bad idea, her body tingled and her thighs clenched on their own accord. But she had to be strong. It was the only way to protect her heart from becoming irrevocably broken. “No, Spike. That isn’t happening. Ever, ever again. I’m not that girl anymore. I never really was that girl.”

His head tilted to the side, as if to study her. “You look like her.”

“I’m not.”

“Yeah, you are. You’re still my girl, Buffy. There’s no reason to deny that when we both know the truth.” He paused for a moment, and then he was leering again, his tongue curling up against his teeth. “Just open the door, pet, and I’ll make things good again. I’ll make you scream.”

He wasn’t making any move to leave – quite the opposite really – and Buffy felt her control slipping. She needed him gone, needed to make him see this wouldn’t work now or ever. Her heart cried out as she opened her mouth, but she spoke anyway, doing what needed to be done.

“No, I’m not still your girl. I never was your girl. And I don’t want you touching me. I don’t want you touching me ever, ever again. Just thinking about it makes me sick, and I can’t stand the thought of anything we did. I’m me again, and you…” She swallowed, steeled herself. “You’re beneath me.”

Buffy knew she’d hit more of a nerve than she’d even expected when his eyes grew hard and his nostrils flared. But at least she’d accomplished what she’d set out to do. It was better if things ended now.

“Fine, you bloody little bitch,” Spike snarled through a tight jaw. “No wonder Angelus left town to get away from your cold self.” He turned, his coat swirling behind him as he got back into his car and sped off.

Buffy had just enough strength to close her bedroom window before she crumpled, her sobs starting anew. The pain that had been in his eyes the moment before the light there had shut off… She’d hurt him.

She’d hurt someone she loved. Deeply.

“It’s for the best, Buffy,” she reminded herself in a whisper, wanting to make those words feel true. Spike would move on soon enough. He’d remember that she was the Slayer and that despite the time they’d spent together when she’d been someone else, he hated her.

Soon, Spike would hate her…

The full weight of that crashed over her, and Buffy lost it completely. She was bordering on hysterical now, and she didn’t know how she could do this.

This had to end eventually, didn’t it? If she could get over Angel…

The thought died in her mind as she curled up on her floor, trembling. This wasn’t like Angel. Losing Angel had been difficult, but it hadn’t been like this. It hadn’t felt like losing a part of herself.

Angel had never looked at her like she was everything. Angel had never made her feel as if she was the only thing that truly mattered to him. Angel had never made her feel as if he’d sacrifice everything he had – everything he was – just for her.

Because he wouldn’t have. He’d made that abundantly clear.

But somehow, she knew Spike would. Without a soul, Spike would give her everything, where with a soul, Angel had ultimately been willing to give her nothing.

She had been able to accept Angel’s leaving because Angel didn’t wholly love her. She’d loved him, but she’d known, in her heart, she wasn’t really losing anything. She was letting go of something she’d never actually had.

Losing Spike meant losing real love.

With that realization, everything shattered.

*** *** ***

Spike had already been drunk when he’d gotten back to his crypt, and now, he was drunker. He hated that bloody bitch. Where did she get off, toying with him like that? He was beneath her? Yeah, sure he was. When she was bucking on top of him, screaming his name. Then he was “beneath her” all right.

He sneered. He’d been good enough for her when she’d had an itch to scratch.

“Fucking bint!” Spike screamed, throwing a mostly-empty bottle of whiskey at the wall. “Why did you do this to me?”

“Because she never loved you, you monster.”

Spike turned, a sharp bark of laughter sounding from him as he saw Angel and Riley standing in the doorway of his crypt. Seemed like a perfect ending to a sodding perfect night… “Well, if it isn’t the protectors of the slayer’s precious virtue. Come to stake me for daring to sully it? Though from you two, that’s pretty damn ironic.”

“We’re here to tell you to get out of town, Spike,” Angel replied coldly, his arms crossed in front of him.

Spike whistled. “Oh, will you look at this. And here I thought Los Angeles was your town to throw people out of. Does your jurisdiction extend down here, too, sheriff? Did you get a shiny badge?”

“Cut the crap, Spike. Buffy doesn’t need you around. Just get out now while you still can,” Angel snapped.

“Or we will make you get out,” Riley added.

Spike laughed. “Oh will you? Come on, soldier boy, the way I feel right now, pain means nothing. I bet I could snap your neck before the chip knocks me down.” He grinned cruelly. “Wanna test it out?”

Riley stiffened. “I’d like to see you try, you worthless piece of demon shit.”

Spike’s brow grew rough, his fangs descended. “Bring it on, boy.”

The fact that things were about to get ugly abundantly clear, Angel jumped between them quickly. “Both of you, knock it off. Spike, if you care about Buffy at all, you’ll get out of here. She doesn’t need you around.”

Spike turned towards his grandsire, yellow eyes shifting back to blue. “I’m not you, Angelus. I’m not going to run because of some misguided attempt at protecting the girl. I don’t leave the people I love.” He paused, shook his head. “She’ll come back to me anyway. She loves me. She’s just confused now because of the spell, but what we had was real. I saw it every time she looked at me. She loves me.”

Angel laughed. “Please, Spike. What, does she love you like Drusilla did? Love you so much she’ll hop in the bed with the first man who gives her a wink? Face it, Spike – no one’s ever going to love you.”

With a roar, the demon was back. “Shut your gob! Buffy loves me. I felt it every time she touched me, every time she kissed me.” He sneered, looked one man in the eye, then the other. “Every time I slid my cock inside her delicious pussy and fucked her until she couldn’t take anymore.”

Riley roared and lunged for Spike, knocking the vampire to the ground before kicking him in the side. “Shut up! She…she was under a spell. She didn’t have any control. You took advantage. Buffy would never…not when she was herself.”

Spike laughed hard, even as he flinched from Riley’s kick. “Oh come on. Why don’t you ask Captain Forehead over there what Buffy likes to do with vampires. She did more than bang the soul right out of you, didn’t she Angelus? Why don’t you tell the boy how much she likes a vampire’s touch?”

“Spike…” Angel said, his tone warning.

Riley stood over Spike, glaring as he breathed hard with the exertion of holding himself back. “You don’t know her. You don’t know a thing about her.”

Spike pulled himself up, the look on his face making it clear he wasn’t at all intimidated by the fact he was the shortest man in the room. “I know her better than you ever will. I know slayers. I know what they need, what they crave. I can give that to her in ways you could never dream of.”

“All you can give a slayer is death,” Riley countered.

“Yeah, a little one,” Spike replied with a smirk.

Riley moved to attack again, and this time, Angel jumped in the middle. “We need to go, Finn. He’s not going to listen to reason.”

“No, I’m not going to listen to a couple of bloody wankers. Reason left the building long before you two stopped by.”

“I’ll be back to talk to you again, Spike,” Angel warned. “You’re getting out of Sunnydale before you do any more damage to Buffy.”

“Whatever. Piss off the both of you. I’ve got more drinking to do.”

Riley glared, but he let Angel lead him out of the crypt. He walked towards his own car, parting ways from the vampire.

As soon as Angel was gone, however, Riley backtracked. He pulled a stake from his waistband and headed back towards the crypt.

Buffy would never have to know he’d done this. Spike would be gone, and she would forget him. It wasn’t even really love. She was just confused, because of the spell. He was looking out for her, taking care of her.

Riley kicked the door to the crypt back open. This was going to be easy. It wouldn’t even be able to fight back.

“Spike!” Riley bellowed.

Spike looked up and met Riley’s gaze. “You’re not here to talk this time, are you soldier boy?”

Riley’s hand gripped the stake tighter. “No, I’m not.”

“Then come on, boy. There’s nothing this chip in my head or you can do to hurt me any more than I already am.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Spike snarled, his fangs descending.

Stake raised, Riley charged.

*** *** ***

*hides behind laptop* I promise I didn’t forget this isn’t an angsty fic!

Please review.

Spike moved right before Riley reached him, smirking as the overgrown boy smacked head first into the crypt’s stone wall. “That all you’ve got there, whitebread?” he asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Riley pulled himself up, glaring at Spike. “Not even close.” He ran for Spike again, but Spike was faster, blocking every attempt Riley made to hit him. Even drunk, he was lighter on his feet, and he smirked, confident he’d come out on top, chip or not.

Then, he tripped. It was a stupid move, and even as he was falling to the ground he was mentally berating himself.

This was not how he was going to go out. William the Bloody, Slayer of Slayers, was not going to be taken out by someone as useless as Riley Finn.

When the stake came down, Spike rolled.

Riley missed the heart, but instead, the stake plunged into Spike’s side. Riley twisted it with a grin on his face before pulling it out and moving towards the heart again.

Spike pushed, knocking Riley off him. He tried to ignore the pain in his side as he rose to his feet. Riley jumped up and moved towards Spike again, and this time, Spike knew he needed to do more than be on the defensive. He struck out, hitting Riley, trying to ignore the searing pain in his head as he did.

It only slowed Riley down for a moment, and Spike swore as Finn came towards him again. With his current migraine, the wound in his side, and his less-than-sober state, things were not looking good.

Until suddenly, Riley was tackled to the ground. Spike blinked, unsure if what he thought he was seeing was what he was really seeing as a flurry of blonde flew by.

No, it was her. She was here. Saving his unlife.

She was here, and he knew he was safe. Spike let himself collapse.

Buffy hauled Riley to his feet and slammed him against the wall. His eyes grew wide, afraid, the full extent of Buffy’s strength taking him by surprise as he realized just how much she’d held back in the past.

“You don’t touch Spike,” Buffy growled.

“Buffy, I’m doing this for you,” Riley protested. “Your friends told me about the spell. This monster took advantage of you.”

Buffy slammed Riley against the wall again. “You don’t know anything,” she growled. “And I don’t want you anywhere near me ever again. You just get out of here. Leave Sunnydale and forget about me or Spike.”

“Buffy, what’s wrong with you? I’m trying to protect you!”

“And I don’t need your protection! I told you I was in love with Spike, and this is what you do? I told you I loved him, and you come here and try to kill him. If you really wanted to protect me, you wouldn’t do something like that. You wouldn’t do the one thing that would hurt me more than anything else.”

“Buffy…”

“Get out while you still can, because I swear to god, I will make you suffer if I ever see your face again.”

Riley stared at her for a moment, reading her expression until he believed what he saw in her eyes – she wasn’t kidding. “I never thought this was really you, Buffy. I always thought you were better than this.”

“You never knew me at all, Riley.” Buffy let him go and looked down as he dropped to the ground. “Get out. Come near Spike again, and I will kill you.”

Riley pulled himself up on shaky legs. He was having a hard time believing Buffy would be so protective of a creature like Spike, but he knew without any doubt she was serious.

He supposed she was right – he really never did know her. And if she was this desperate to lie down with a demon…

Riley Finn left the crypt without looking back.

Buffy ran to Spike’s side, examining the wound on his side. “You’re hurt.”

“You said you loved me. You told soldier boy you love me.”

“Come on, we need to get you on the sarcophagus.”

“You said you loved me.”

Buffy hefted Spike up and carried him over to the sarcophagus, setting him as gently she could. “You need blood. Do you have any in the fridge?”

“Nothing fresh I’m sure. You love me?”

“It’s too late for the butcher. You’re going to have to bite me.”

Spike coughed. “Say again, pet?”

She rolled her eyes. “You heard me. How’s the best way to do this? Do you want my neck, or would my arm be easier so you wouldn’t have to sit up?”

Spike tried to move and winced. His side and his head were both aching and slayer blood would go a long way towards helping, but he needed some answers. Buffy had run off on him in Los Angeles, yelled at him to leave her alone when he’d come to her house, and now she was telling whitebread she was in love with Spike and offering up the most delectable meal possible straight from the tap?

“Right, wrist it is then. Can you bite me now, or do I need to cut myself?”

“Buffy, talk to me, pet. Why did you tell me I’m beneath you and then tell the tin soldier you love me?”

Buffy sighed. “Spike, you’re hurt, okay? Just let me take care of you right now, please.”

“I…” Spike winced again as the pain he was feeling made him decide just to go along with her for the time being. “Yeah, all right. Get against my good side, pet.” She did as he said, and Spike wrapped his arm around her waist, trying to situate them. “Give me your arm.”

She offered him her arm without protest, and Spike guided it to his mouth. His other hand rubbed soothing circles against her hip as his tongue darted out to lap at her pulse point.

“Just bite me, Spike.”

“Patience, you pushy bint. Unless you want my head hurting more than it already is, then you’re going to have to let me do this carefully. Hell, I’m not even sure this is going to work.”

“Why not? You bit me before, and it didn’t hurt.”

“Yeah, but that was when you were in the throes of an orgasm, sweetheart. It’s a different thing. And as much as I’d love to be making you come right now, this stab wound in my side is a bit of an issue.”

“I could do that part myself and you could bite me then.”

Spike’s eyebrow arched. “You sure he didn’t stake me?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’m sure. Look, Spike, you need blood, so let’s just do this, whatever way is going to be easiest.”

His hand crept up from her hip to her back. “Slayer…”

“Dammit, Spike, stop fighting me on this!” Buffy yelled. “You’re hurt, and you’re bleeding, and you…” She stopped short, her eyes tearing up. “Let me do this.”

She just kept throwing him for a loop. Now she was crying at the thought of him being hurt?

Spike decided to stop trying to press any issues and just take what they obviously both wanted. He didn’t know why she left him, didn’t know why she’d turned him away at her house, but seeing as she still loved him, he decided that didn’t really matter. If she loved him, then she could be his again. He just needed enough strength to drive home to her how good things could be between them, spell or no spell.

He ran his hand across her back and kissed her wrist. “How do you want to do this, luv? Do you feel comfortable enough getting yourself off in front of me?”

“I think so. I mean, after all we’ve done, I shouldn’t really be embarrassed about that…” Despite her words, her cheeks colored, but she still reached down with her free hand to push up her skirt and slip her hand into her panties.

Spike kissed and nipped at the inside of Buffy’s wrist, watching as her eyes closed and her breathing became labored. “You’re bloody gorgeous, baby,” he told her, his speaking against her skin. “Does that feel good, rubbing your pretty little quim with your fingers?”

Buffy gasped and whimpered, and Spike smiled knowingly. “Fuck yourself with your fingers, baby. Pretend it’s my cock. That’s what you want it to be, don’t you? Tell me you do.”

“I…I do. I…Spike.”

His cock strained in his jeans, seemingly oblivious to the fact he was in no shape to shag the glorious creature at his side. His hand moved down from her back to cup her bottom, and he listened to her sharp intake of breath. “Are you close, kitten?”

“Yeah…”

Spike licked her pulse point and whispered against her skin before his fangs descended and he bit down.

“I love you.”

Buffy cried out in pleasure, clenching around her own fingers, writhing against his body. He snarled, feasted on her blood, felt the tingling in his veins as it flowed into him.

When he felt her weakening, he stopped, lapping the wound closed. Buffy whimpered and slipped her hand out from under her skirt before she wrapped herself more around Spike and drifted off to sleep. She smiled as she did, and Spike felt peaceful again, like he had before the spell had broken.

“I love you, Buffy,” he murmured before joining her in sleep.

*** *** ***

Buffy woke when she heard the crypt door open. A familiar sensation tingled at the back of her neck, though it didn’t hold the same meaning it used to.

She moved out of Spike’s arms and adjusted her skirt, glad to see Spike still seemed to be out. Now that he had blood, he needed rest. She got off the sarcophagus and turned to Angel, almost smiling at the look of surprise on his face from what he’d walked into.

Really, like after what she knew he’d smelled in his car, he shouldn’t even be surprised.

Buffy pointed towards the door and mouthed, “outside,” and to her surprise, Angel didn’t fight it. Instead he turned and went out of the crypt, waiting for her just past the door. She followed him out and shut the door behind them.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I came to talk to Spike.”

Buffy put her hands on her hips. “That isn’t going to happen, Angel.”

“What happened to him?”

“Riley,” Buffy replied with a sigh. “He tried to kill him. Luckily, he’s completely incompetent and only managed to stake his side.”

“Riley tried to kill him? He said we were just going to talk to him.”

Buffy’s eyes bulged. “What? You and Riley were here talking to Spike?”

Angel had the decency to look chagrined in light of Buffy’s angry expression. “We both left and didn’t lay a hand on him, Buffy.”

“Well, obviously Riley came back. And what the hell did you think you were doing?”

Her sharp tone caused Angel to switch to the defensive. “Spike doesn’t need to be here, Buffy. He doesn’t need to be around you.”

“That’s my call – not yours.”

“Buffy, would you listen to yourself?” Angel yelled. “Dammit, Spike isn’t the good guy. I don’t know what’s wrong with you. I mean, I understand why you fell for me, but…”

Buffy cut him off with a snort. “Oh my god, you are so full of yourself.”

Angel sighed. “Don’t be like that. I know you’re upset with me, but you know you can’t compare what we had to whatever it is you’ve got going on with Spike.”

“No, Angel, you’re right, there really is no comparison – because whatever that was we had can’t even begin to touch what I’ve shared with Spike. And if you’re going to give me more of that ‘you need a normal life’ crap, just shut it now. You don’t know what I need. You don’t even really care. The only reason you came here is because you knew I was sleeping with Spike and you were jealous. It has nothing to do with worrying about me.”

“That isn’t true.”

“Yes, it is! I’ve figured it out, Angel. You never really loved me. If you did, then you still would’ve without the soul.”

“Oh come on, Buffy. That’s just crazy. Spike can’t love you without his soul.”

“No, you couldn’t love me without one. Or with one, for that matter.”

“Buffy…”

“No. I’m not going to listen to this. Not now, not from you. So you know what?” Her lips curled up in a smirk. “Get out of my town.”

“Buffy…”

She crossed her arms over her chest and met Angel square in the eyes. “I mean it, Angel. You walked out, and when you did, you gave up any say you may have had in my life.” Buffy stepped forward, managing to stare him down even with the height difference. “Now I’m going to say this one more time – get out of my town.”

His mouth set in a grim line, Angel turned around and disappeared into the night.

Buffy went back into the crypt, where she slipped back into Spike’s arms.

*** *** ***

See! I told you I didn’t forget it wasn’t all angsty! There’s one more chapter after this one, and I’m hoping to post it early next week sometime.

Please remember to review. It only takes a moment, and it’ll totally make my day.

When Spike finally woke, his side still ached, but nowhere near as badly as it had. That slayer blood really did the trick…

And speaking of slayers, the one who had fed him her blood was still curled up at his side. Spike ran his hand down her back and nuzzled against her hair. She stretched against him and mewed in her throat.

“Rise and shine, kitten. Let me see those pretty eyes of yours.”

She whimpered, and Spike smiled as he leaned in and captured her lips. She kissed him back, though her eyes remained closed, and Spike trailed his hand into her hair, pulling her closer.

If he’d had more strength, he would’ve already rolled her over and found his place between her thighs. Damn that stake-happy soldier boy…

He knew the moment Buffy woke completely. She pushed against his chest, broke his hold, and rolled off the sarcophagus, tumbling to the ground before she rose to her feet and backed away. “This isn’t happening, Spike.”

Spike frowned in frustration. She had to be kidding him. After last night she was going to pull this? “Why the bloody hell not?”

“Because we just can’t. I can’t be with you and you’re… I can’t.”

“But you love me,” Spike replied. “You said it. I know I’d lost blood and for all I know that chip causes brain damage, but I know I heard you say it. And last night, you came here on your own. Even after you sent me off when I came to your house, you came here to see me.”

“It was a moment of weakness. You left, and I started thinking about things that can’t happen, and I came here. But I shouldn’t have.” She paused, her brow wrinkling. “Okay, well, I should have because otherwise you’d be a pile of dust and I would’ve had to beat Riley to death, but what I was thinking last night…that can’t happen.”

“Yes it can. We were happy before, pet. I really don’t see why that has to end just because the spell did.”

“It does!”

“It doesn’t!”

“Yes, it does!”

“Why?”

“Because you don’t love me!”

Her words met stunned silence from Spike, and for several moments, he simply stared at her. Then, his shock turned to anger. “You arrogant little bint. You honestly think you can dictate who can and can’t love? Love isn’t just about souls, you know. And just because your precious Angel didn’t…”

“No, Spike,” she said quickly, cutting him off before he could say anything else about Angel. “This isn’t about that. I don’t think you can’t love without a soul. I…I believe you loved her.”

“Her?” Spike asked, confused. “You mean Drusilla?”

“No, not Dru. I mean, yeah, I do figured you probably loved her, though let’s not go there right now, okay? I meant spell Buffy.”

Spike’s brow furrowed. “You’re not making any sense at all, Slayer.”

Buffy sighed heavily before she began to explain. “I’m not the girl I was when I was under the spell. She listened to punk rock and wore black nail polish and smoked. I don’t do any of those things.”

“Yeah, and?” Spike replied, one eyebrow arching neatly.

Buffy looked down at the floor, tracing a pattern with the toe of her shoe. “And that’s why you loved her.”

“Bloody hell, you’re one daft bird.”

She looked back up sharply. “Okay, I don’t really know what daft means, but I don’t think it’s very nice.”

“Means you’re a little slow on the uptake, luv.”

Buffy planted her hands firmly on her hips. “See – not very nice. And so not true because I’m right. You hate me, Spike. Remember? You wanted to kill me.”

“I did before I met you.”

“You always wanted to kill me. You wanted to kill me right up until the night I showed up here after the spell.”

“Are you dead?”

“No…”

He smirked at her. “Then I didn’t really want to kill you.”

“That’s… Spike, don’t do this. You know how this will turn out. You’ll realize I’m just boring old Buffy and…” Spike burst out laughing and Buffy glared at him. “Why are you laughing at me?”

“Because you’re being daft again. Buffy, you’re a lot of things, but boring is not one of them.”

She pouted at him, and Spike really wished he was strong enough to tackle her. “I’m not that girl.”

“Please. The great music taste and the cute lil nails were just window dressing, pet. That’s not why I fell in love with her…fell in love with you. God, Buffy, I fell in love with you long before the spell. I mean, yeah, I didn’t put a name to it, but I did. Why do you think Drusilla left me?”

“Because she developed a slime and antlers fetish?” Buffy replied.

Spike gave her a stern look. “And again with the daft. Really, pet, you might want to think about cutting down on the bleach.”

“Oh look who’s talking.”

He smirked at her, and she found herself trembling. He looked gorgeous stretched out on that sarcophagus. “It seems like it’s been a little more detrimental to your mental health.” She snorted and Spike chuckled. “But seriously, kitten, I’ve been in love with you since the beginning. First time I saw you.” He paused for a moment, reliving the memory. “It was at the Bronze. You were wearing a light blue top and you were dancing. The light was hitting you just right, and you were glowing. You stood out above every other person in the room, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. I fell in love with you in that moment, Buffy, and I never stopped. I never will stop.”

She tried to push back the tears that threatened to spill forth at his confession. No one had ever said anything like that to her before, made her feel so desired…so desirable. “Spike, I…”

“If anyone should be worried here, pet, it’s me. If you’re not the same girl, then can you love me? I still listen to punk music, paint my nails black, and smoke cigarettes.”

Buffy looked at him sharply, as if something was finally making sense. “I still love you, but…”

“Opposites attract, baby. Is that why you ran out on me the other morning? Because you thought I wouldn’t love you if you weren’t under the spell.”

“Yes,” Buffy replied with a nod. “I didn’t want you to look at me without that love in your eyes.”

“Never gonna happen.”

“Never?”

“Nope. Come on, Buffy – you know what happened between us was more than any spell. Hell, you know what happened with Willow’s will-be-done bit was more than a spell.”

She looked down, her cheeks coloring slightly. “I do.”

“Besides, what we did most of the time…” He looked her up and down, leering as he did. “That we don’t need a spell for. Something tells me you’re still sodding amazing in bed.”

Her blush deepened. “What if I’m not?”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Please.” He patted his leg. “Stop talking crazy and come ride me.”

“You’re hurt,” Buffy pointed out.

“I’m not that hurt. ‘Sides, you get on top and do all the work, won’t be a problem at all. Now hitch up that bloody skirt.”

“Spike! We’re having a serious conversation here!”

“Yeah, and it’s over. You love me, I love you. End of bloody discussion. Now’s the part where we have make-up sex.”

“I’m still not sure if we should…”

He said nothing, though his actions were enough to make her stop, no words coming out as her mouth hung open. He unzipped his pants, pulled his cock into his hand, and began to stroke. “Come on, baby. You know you want this.” He ran his tongue over his teeth and winked.

Her brain shut off and Buffy began to strip, her eyes trained on the weeping head of his cock. She missed that. Really, really missed that.

Nude, Buffy walked to the sarcophagus and straddled Spike’s hips, poised to take him inside. “Are you sure this won’t hurt you?”

“Trust me, kitten, I’m going to be in a lot more pain if you don’t.”

Buffy smiled and leaned in to kiss him quickly before she sunk down, throwing her head back as she took him all the way in. She moved up and down several times, relearning the feel of him inside before she leaned forward, bracing her hands on his chest as she looked into his eyes.

There it was… The love she’d seen in Los Angeles was still there, shining brightly in his blue eyes.

His hand shook as it came up, his fingers threading in her hair. “No matter what happens, I love you. No spell can change who you really are.”

She wanted to say so many things, wanted to tell him everything she felt, but she couldn’t. She’d never been good with words, especially not like he was. So instead, she rained kisses on his face and neck, hoping he understood.

He panted, stroked her hair, and she knew he did.

The moment before she came, Spike pulled her mouth down to his and kissed her hard, swallowing her passion-filled cry. Buffy trembled as he erupted inside of her, knowing in that moment nothing was truly lost.

The chest beneath her rose and fell with unneeded breath, and Buffy clung to him as the aftershocks rode their course through him. He kissed her hair, telling her over and over again how much he loved her.

Still, one thing was weighing heavy on her mind.

“You’re not beneath me. I didn’t mean it when I said that.” Spike stilled under her, and Buffy reluctantly pulled up to look into his eyes. “Spike? You don’t believe you are, do you?”

“Buffy, I know what I am. Not exactly a worthy lover for the Chosen One.”

“What, a vampire who has the strength to turn away from the dark and chose to be a better man for the woman he loves?”

Spike cleared his throat and looked offended. “Bloody hell, Buffy! Don’t say things like that! That’s not me. I’m still the Big Bad.”

Buffy smirked and patted his rumpled curls. “Sure you are, honey.”

“I bloody well am! I’m the baddest vampire there is, and don’t you forget it, little girl.”

“Whatever you say, dear.”

Buffy chuckled as Spike continued to grumble beneath her but said nothing else. She’d let him have his delusions if they made him feel better. She knew the truth. She’d seen the man behind the monster.

A smile on her lips, Buffy leaned in and kissed his cheek before she whispered against his ear, “I love you, Big Bad.”

A wide grin spread across Spike’s face.

*** *** ***

And that is the end of this one. Thank you to all my readers, I hope you enjoyed the story. Please leave a review and let me know what you thought of the ending!

I’m going to hold off on posting any new fics until I get further along on Oedipus Calling, but I have a couple I’ve started, so hopefully you’ll see something new from me soon.

Also, as I said in a note in Oedipus Calling (for those of you reading both), I’ve started using Livejournal for posting fics. Right now I’m pretty much only posting my fics that aren’t Spuffy, though I may start posting new Spuffy fics there, too (I haven’t decided). Either way, my other BtVS fics (none of which are Spike/other or Buffy/other – completely different pairings), including fics from my “Daylight verse” chronicling the life of Buffy and Spike’s family will be posted there. If you’re interested in checking any of these out, they can be found here: http://addie-logan.livejournal.com/ Feel free to friend me.

Again, thank you to everyone who read this story. You guys are what keeps me writing.

~AL