"That BITCH!" Spike yelled as he threw his last bottle of scotch against the wall of his crypt. "I try and I try, and it's never good enough for her. Why can't she see that I've changed and all for her. You'd think she'd be more appreciative," He continued ranting as he paced about the room. "But oh no all I get is 'you're evil Spike, an evil disgusting thing…you have no soul, there's nothing good in you…I'll never be your girl'," He stopped at those words, those very words she had screamed at him, words that had killed him as if she had plunged a stake into his heart. "Right, she never will be yours, William, my boy. Guess it's time to move on."

---

Three weeks later, at Neil's Cafe:

---

"Hey!" Buffy greeted cheerfully as Tara took the seat across from her.


"Hey, Buffy, so…sorry I'm late." Tara replied.


"No prob, I'm just glad you decided to meet me. I'm sorry for laying out all my problems on you...I just…there’s not one else…the others wouldn’t understand."


"No, Buffy," Tara cut her off. "It's ok, we're friends and friends are always there for each other. Always, no matter what," Tara smiled and Buffy returned it, as she pondered why Willow and Xander couldn’t think the same way. "So how have you been?"


"Ok I guess, three weeks clean, no Spike action whatsoever," Buffy said with a smile she found she had to force, which Tara instantly took note of.


"You miss him?" Buffy just looked at her friend with sad eyes, unable to say anything, for fear her words would betray her carefree, Spike free facade. "It's ok if you do, believe me I understand," Tara said as she looked down at her hands.


"You miss Willow huh?" Buffy asked and Tara nodded her head.


"But we...we talk now. I mean she calls and we talk for hours. I think it's easier over the phone. So, have you talked with Spike since...?” Buffy hurriedly cut off the question with the shake of her head.


"No, I thought it would be better if I didn't see him at all. I've been avoiding his crypt like the plague."


"His cr…crypt?" Tara questioned as she threw out a confused look.


"Yeah, you know the place he dwells until sundown."


"Oh, uhm Buffy, ah…Spike isn't there anymore." Buffy looked at Tara slightly stunned. "I went by to get his help with an English report, he did that while you were…away, he was very helpful to all of us. And well who better to help me with my English report then an Oxford English professor?" Tara asked around a goofy smile. "Anyway, I went by last week and he was gone."


"Gone?" Buffy repeated as she stared down at the table.


"Yeah, all of his things were gone. I...I thought you knew. I mean I had assumed he would tell you." Buffy just slowly shook her head. "Oh," Tara said as she too then lowered her head to look at the table, waiting for Buffy's response, which came after several long moments.


"So, he finally left. After years of me telling him to, he finally does." Buffy said with a sad faraway look on her face, which she quickly covered with another forced smile. "Well, good out of sight out of mind right? Now that he's gone I won't be tempted, and I can go about having a normal life, with normal healthy relationships." Buffy said in a perky tone, which Tara could see was just an act. "I just remembered I have to help Dawn study for a history test, so I'm gonna go now," Buffy said as she stood and pulled money from her pocket and tossed it on the table. Tara also stood, wanting to say more, seeing that Buffy was in obvious hurt.


"Ok, but Bu...Buffy if you need me..."


"I'll call you later." Buffy said with a small smile and then quickly embraced and released Tara. "Thank you." Buffy then rushed off down the street leaving Tara to stare after her sadly.

---

Buffy entered the backdoor still stunned and still in a daze after hearing the news that Spike had left.


"Hey Buffy!" Willow exclaimed as she stood at the stove making pancakes.


"Hey Buff, we're having pancakes and bacon for dinner, and maybe in the morning we can have steaks and mashed potatoes." Dawn said cheerfully. Her smiled quickly faded as she took notice of the look on Buffy's face. "Buffy, what's wrong? What happened?" Buffy stared at her little sister as she searched for the words to tell Dawn that Spike was gone. She knew how Dawn felt about Spike. Dawn had never had trouble expressing her love for the vampire. Buffy knew it was going to devastate Dawn to learn that Spike had left, just like all the 'others'.


"I don't know how to say this, Dawnie." Buffy began.


"Talking usually helps." Dawn said jokingly. Willow turned the stove off and moved closer to the counter.


"Buffy, did something happen?" Willow asked now curious and slightly concerned.


"It's Spike, uh...he left. I went by his place and it's cleaned out. He's gone Dawnie," Buffy finally said and then stood awaiting her sister's wrath, for she knew her sibling would blame her, and with every right too. Buffy knew she was the reason Spike had left.


"Oh." Was all the Dawn said as she looked at Buffy nervously.


"Oh? That's it?" Buffy questioned.


"Uhm yeah, I kind of already knew Spike left his crypt." Dawn stated.


"You did?" Buffy asked now confused.


"Ah, yeah we helped him move out." Dawn stated causing Buffy to shoot a look to Willow.


"'WE' did?" Buffy posed to Willow.


"Ah, uh…yeah…we as in me, Dawn, Xander and Anya, we all helped. I mean it was the least we could do, he did help us all summer while you were..." Willow’s guilt still wouldn’t allow her to mention Buffy’s time in heaven.


"I see," Buffy said as her brow furrowed and she sat on the nearby stool. "And you guys what, forgot to mention it to me?"


"We didn't think you'd care." Dawn answered making Buffy instantly go on the defensive.


"I don't," Buffy said with her chin up. "It's just that you're acting all secretive and stuff."


"Sorry, but it's not like Spike left town or anything." Dawn added and Buffy snapped her eyes onto her.


"He hasn't?"


"No, he just moved into an apartment, a townhouse, a very nice townhouse too." Willow responded.


"He did?" Buffy asked as confusion seeped back in.


"Yep, Spike said it was time for a change of scenery, and he had some money saved up so he bought the townhouse, and furnishings. We helped him decorate." Dawn stated cheerfully. "He said he was gonna start over, a fresh start, at first I thought he was leaving town, but he said he wasn't leaving, that he'd never leave us...like all the others."


"So where is this new place, I'd like to check it out." Buffy said trying to hide her relief and happiness at hearing Spike hadn't left town.


"Oh, well uhm," Dawn began and Willow continued.


"He doesn't want you to know where he lives, and he made us promise that we wouldn't tell."


"What!?"

"Yeah, he said that a part of starting over fresh is getting over you. He said it would be better, easier if he didn't see you for awhile."




"I see." Buffy said as the hurt and sadness once again gripped her heart.




"He is really trying. He's even gotten a job." Willow added.




"You're kidding, right?" Buffy said with a chuckle.




"Nope, you know that guy in those real estate commercials, Big Al. Well, he owns a lot of waterfront property, and the only tenants he could find out there are demons, vamps, etc. But when it's time to pay the rent, they never do. So, Big Al hires the biggest, baddest demons, vamps to go collect for him. So in comes spike, the BIG BAD. Anyways he collects two nights out of the week for Big Al, at $5000 a night. So he's making mega bucks and all the legal, fair way. Spike has gone legit." Willow said with a huge smile.




"Really?" Buffy asked stunned. "Ok what the hell is going on, did I missed something?"




"Yeah, Spike is one of the good guys now." Dawn said as she nibbled on a piece of bacon.




"Oh." Buffy said still in disbelief about what she had been told.

---

"Come on Buffy, it'll be fun." Willow coaxed her friend.




"I don't think so Will, I should stay in case Dawn calls."




"Yeah right, she's at a sleepover all weekend, the last thing she's thinking about right now is calling home, trust me on this. She'll be home Monday after school, so you have exactly 3 nights free to have fun, fun, fun. So get dressed."




"I don't know Willow..."




"I do, it's time you got out more, and you're acting all 'Angel' like with the broodiness." Willow said causing Buffy to shoot her a look and a smirk. "Come on we're going to this new place out near the docks, I hear it's hot. Come on it'll be fun, and if you don't like it, after staying at least an hour, we'll leave. I promise. Please come with us." Willow said sticking out her bottom lip. Buffy rolled her eyes and laughed at her friend.




"Fine, I'll go, I'll go."




"Great but hurry Xander and Anya are picking us up in an hour."<

---

Elsewhere

---

"Damn it! You got slime all other my coat."




"Aww, you poor baby, would you have preferred I let it kill you. I mean he was about to stick you with his horn."




"Well you could have at least warned me first." Spike said as he wiped at his coat.




"What...is that the only coat you have?" His partner Nic asked him as they headed out of the warehouse. They had came to collect the rent, but instead ended up slaying the tenant, which happened from time to time. They both knew this wouldn't upset Big Al, he'd have the place back on the market first thing in the morning. They did after all still get the rent.




"No, but it is my favorite."




"It's all old anyways, I think you need to put it out of its misery." Nic said now walking ahead as Spike stopped stunned by the words.




"What, are you daft? This coat will never go out of style."




"No, I suppose not if you keep wearing it all the time." Nic chuckled. Spike growled at his partner. "How bout a beer, there's this new club along the docks I've been meaning to check out."




"You buying?" Spike question, with an arched brow.




"Like you would." Nic answered with a smirk, which Spike matched with his own.




"Then you're on, but I need to go home first and change, and you better pray this gunk comes out of my duster."




"Whatever man, I think I'll head home and change too. It will probably take you longer, since you have to clean your precious coat, so I'll meet you at your place, say in about an hour?" Spike nodded and they both parted ways.

---

"You're right Willow, this is nothing like the Bronze. Except they're playing the same music and oh these are the same people we see at the bronze, Oh and..."




"All right, you've made your point, Anya, this place is exactly like the bronze, just in another location." Willow said slightly disappointed and pouting, causing Buffy, Xander, and Anya to smile.




"But we like the Bronze, right?" Anya interjected. "So, let's go shake our money makers." At that Xander and Anya stepped out on to the dance floor, which was admittedly much bigger then the one at the Bronze. Buffy and Willow remained in their seats.




"If you want to leave, I'm with you." Willow said.




"What, no we'll stay and have fun, fun, fun." Buffy said defiantly.




"It's really not as fun as I had hoped, I thought...hoped that,"




"Tara would be here." Buffy answered, knowingly.




"Yeah," Willow said with a sad smirk.




"So how are you two doing?"




"We're talking again." Willow said as she perked up a bit.




"Yeah Tara mentioned that..."




"She did, when? When did you see Tara?"




"Oh, uhm... we meet up from time to time and have lunch, catch up."




"Oh..."




"I hope you don't mind, I mean if it upsets you..."




"No, No she's your friend too so you have every right...Uhm so does she talk about me, miss me?" Willow question with a look of fear at the answer. Buffy gave her a warm smile.




"Yes and yes." Willow's smile broadened at that news.




"So what do you guys chat about, if you don't mind telling."




"Oh, well she talks about you, how much she misses you and how things are better between you. And I talk about me and... Spike." Buffy said as she looked off through the crowd.




"Spike? What about you and Spike?" Willow asked curiously. Buffy just shook her head at the question.




"It's Spike, he's here." At this Willow turned in the direction Buffy was looking, and there was Spike. He wore a white t-shirt , covered with a black shirt, and black cargo pants, and even Willow was in awe at how good he looked, yummier then usual. Suddenly a woman appeared at his side. She was a Nubian beauty, with brown skin, luscious full lips, big doe eyes, and jet-black straight hair that fell just past her shoulders. She wore a red halter that hugged her ample chest, and leather pants that clung to her petite frame, and she stood almost as tall as Spike, about 5' 9". Both Willow and Buffy were taken aback by her obvious beauty, and stared with their mouth's agape.




"And he brought a date," Willow finally spoke, never taking her eyes off the dashing duo. Buffy felt her mouth go dry.

"Whoa, who's the babe with Spike. I mean she's hot, she's really, really..." Xander said and then noticed his fiancée glaring at him. "Not that cute, check out the mustache, and is that an Adam's apple?" Xander said as he hurriedly gulped at his drink.




"I haven't seen her around before." Buffy said trying to sound unfazed by Spike and his 'date'.




"Oh that's Nic," Anya stated as she munched on some peanuts. All eyes turned to her.




"Nic? An, hon she doesn't look like a Nic, I was joking about the Adam's apple." Xander replied.




"Nic is short for Nicole, you should know her Willow and Buffy she does take classes at SU."




"So she's an educated girl, so why is she with Spike?" Xander questioned.




"Oh please Xander, Spike is a hottie." Anya said point blankly. "Granted he's a blood sucking dead hottie, but a hottie just the same. So, it's not unusual for a girl to want to hook up with him. Besides Nic isn't a typical girl herself."




"She isn't?" Xander asked.




"No, she's a stoloch demon, they're seemingly human except very strong, fast, and immortal. But over all a friendly bunch." Anya smiled as she continued to munch on peanuts.




"You think Spike's a hottie?" Willow teased Anya, smiling. Anya rolled her eyes at the Wicca.




"Oh yeah like you don't, even Buffy does." Buffy looked at her with wide eyes and opened her mouth to protested. Anya arched her brow at her as if to challenge her, and Buffy quickly shut her mouth.




"Yeah if you over look the fact that he's dead, drinks blood, and is old enough to be my great-great grandfather. Over look all that and well yeah he's a hottie, I guess." Buffy stated nervously and then quickly sipped at her drink, turning her eyes back to Spike and his date, who now sat at the bar.




"Ummhmmm, and I suppose seeing Spike with another girl doesn't bother you either." Anya threw out.




"What, Phsss." Buffy said making a face. "No, I could care less." She said looking around as if uninterested, but keeping the couple in eyeshot.




"Yeah right like it doesn't bother you that she's gonna get some Spike goodies. Goodies, I'm sure Spike would have happily given you, but you..."




"Anya!" Xander said with a glare.




"What?!"




"How does she know Spike I wonder." Willow asked as she continued to openly stare at the couple still seated at the bar.




"Well if it's the same Nic he talks about, then they work together." Xander stated.




"And how do you know that?" Buffy asked curiously.




"Oh, uh Spike told me, he's been helping at the site for about a month when he's not working. We're trying to get the house finished, so we're working a lot of late nights, and Spike's helping. So you know we talk during the breaks."




"So they're just co-workers?" Buffy said but more as a question then a statement.




"Yep"




"Boy I'm glad none of your co-workers look like her." Anya said popping another peanut in her mouth. "I think I'd have to get all vengeful again."

---

"Hey Spike." Willow said cheerfully as she came up beside the vamp, causing Spike to nearly choke on his drink.




"Red, what are you doing here?" Spike inquired as he turned wide-eyed to give her his full attention.




"Getting drinks," Willow answered and then waved for the bartender. "A pitcher of beer please." Willow said with a quirky smile.




"Can I see some I.D.?" The bartender asked with a serious face and tone. Willow's smile faded as her mind searched for the right thing to say. "Just kidding." The bartender said with a chuckle. "Besides you look way older then 21."




"Huh? Hey!" Willow said with a burrowed brow, very offended. The bartender handed her the pitcher and walked on to another patron.




"Aw, Red don't worry bout it, you don't look a day over 16." Spike said, hoping to make his favorite Wicca feel better.




"Really?" Willow asked, beaming once again.




"Yeah sure. So, where are the rest of the super friends?" Spike asked nonchalant, hoping the question didn't scream, 'Where's Buffy, is she here?'.




"Oh, we're all sitting over there. Wanna come join? You can bring your friend. I'm Willow by the way." Willow stated, reaching across Spike to shake hands with the attractive Black woman at Spike's side, who greeted her with a bright beautiful smile.




"I'm Nicole, but everyone calls me Nic." Nic said as she grasped Willow's hand and shook it firmly. "Willow huh, then why does Spike here call you Red?" Willow looked baffled at the question, somewhat stumped for she had no real idea why Spike did either. Spike looked to both of them as if they had two heads, and then huffed and rolled his eyes in frustration.




"Bloody hell, it's the hair. Get it the 'Red' hair." Both of the ladies nodded their head in acknowledgment, with an, 'Oh' look on their faces.




"So you wanna come join us?" Willow asked again.




"Ah, no thanks Red, not really up for a crowd."




"Oh come on Spike, why not? I'll be fun, come on." Nic nudged.




"Too many old wounds that that still need mending, but hey you go along and join in on the Scooby fun and leave me here, alone, please."




"Oh no, you're not getting rid of me that easily. Every night we finish working you're major moody guy. I mean you finish and go home, you don't have fun, hangout. I don't know who this bird is that's got you all strung out, but from what you've told me about her, she's not all that."




"You're right...You don't know her and it would be best if you kept your trap shut about her." Spike said with a glare and near growl, which made Willow back up a bit, she knew the subject of Buffy was a tender one for Spike.




"Is that suppose to scare me, cause I think you of all people should know better. And you're right I don't know this girl, whoever she is, but I do know that when you love someone, it's not suppose to beat you down, and leave you lifeless, no pun intended. I'm willing to bet this girl is out right now, partying not moping around over you." With that Spike hopped from his bar stool and moved to leave, before heading out his eyes locked onto the ones he had been avoiding for weeks now. For a second the anger in his eyes softened, turned from fury to longing. Every fiber in him wanted to go to her, to touch her and tell her that he still loved her. Instead he swallowed the urge and walked out, not looking back.




Willow made her way back to the table with the beer and new friend in hand.




"Hey what's up with Spike he seemed madder then usual." Xander asked.




"Oh he's pining for some girl, and if it's the same girl that he talks about all the time, well she was a major 'BITCH'. I mean I know Spike pretty well now and he's no Prince Charming, but the way he said she treated him," Nic ranted as everyone sat in silence, avoiding Buffy face which was downcast to the table. "Well she sounds like a BITCH and she doesn't deserve his love, poor fool. Oh I'm Nic by the way."




"Hi, I'm Anya. You probably don't remember but we run the the same circle of demons and we've met a couple of times before" Anya said smiling. "And this is my fiancée Xander, you've already met Willow, oh and that's 'The Bitch'," Anya said mimicking her finger to gesture quotation marks, and everyone shot her stares. "What she said it, I'm just repeating, anyways her name is Buffy, but I can see how it's confusing. Buffy, Bitch..."




"An, honey." Xander warned.




"Letting it go." Anya said and then picked up another peanut to pop in her mouth.




"Thank you." Xander said kissing her cheek.




"Oh, nice meeting you, all." Was all the Nic said as they all sat around quietly.

---

"So she seemed nice huh?" Willow asked as she and Buffy entered the Summer's home. Buffy just gave her a questioning look. "Nicole I mean."




"I guess." Buffy replied as she plopped down on the couch. "That brief second when she wasn't insulting me, yeah sure, she seemed nice." Buffy said with a pout.




"Nooo, she wasn't insulting you," Willow stated and Buffy gave her a 'You're kidding right' look. "Technically Spike was insulting you, Nicole was just repeating."




"And that makes me feel, so much...not better." Buffy said.




"And since when did you start caring about what Spike thinks anyways?"




"I don't! I could care less. See me so not caring."




"Me thinks thou doth protest too much."




"Huh?"




"I guess it's gotta sting an little, huh? I mean having a guy who adores you, worships you, and kind of stalks you," Willow said burrowing her brow at the thought. "And then 'POOF' he goes and finds himself a new hot mama, and boy is she HOT!" Buffy rolled her eyes at her friend. "But in all fairness you did kind of push him to it." Buffy shot her friend a dangerous glare. "I mean with the beatings and put downs, and I hate you Spike, a snowball has a better chance in hell then you do with getting me..." Buffy lowered her head at Willow's words, for she knew they were all true. "Buffy?" Willow called seeing the hurt in her friend's eyes. "Hey what's wrong, talk to me." Buffy slowly lifted her face to met Willow's gaze. "This is me, your best friend, your nonjudgy best friend."

~~~~

"Spike! Open this door right now, Spike I know you're in there. Open
up!" Nic banged on the apartment door, causing the neighbors to peer
out at her. She heard what sounded like a crash on the other side of
the door, then she heard Spike cursing as he flung the door open.



"Bloody hell woman, what do you want?" Nic just glared at him as she
pushed past him and entered the apartment. She made her way to the
nearby bar and poured herself a shot of whiskey, which she quickly
gulped down. Spike had closed the door and stood with his arms folded
across his chest, staring at the woman who was making herself quite
at home.



"Why the hell didn't you tell me?"



"Sorry, I'm not following you luv, and I'm too tired to try..."



"Buffy!"



"What about her?" Spike asked suddenly with interest.



"Why didn't you tell me the 'bitch' that you've been ranting on and
on about, is called Buffy. The same Buffy whose best friend happens
to be the redhead who invited us to sit at her table tonight. A table
where her friends, including 'BUFFY' sat."



"It didn't occur to me, why what happened?"



"Oh nothing, someone inquired as to why you weren't joining us, and I
took it upon myself to excuse you. So I told them about how you're
all bad moody over some BITCH, and yes I used the word BITCH," Nic
said through gritted teeth. "Who you love but she treats you like
shit, and is a silly unworthy git for not realizing just what a great
guy you are." Nic said with a smile and then gulped down another
shot. Suddenly Spike burst into laughter. "It's not funny." Nic
declared as she too began giggling despite herself.



"Oh like hell it isn't, and what did Buffy say?" Spike asked still
chuckling.



"Nothing, everyone got quiet after that, all except some chit named
Anya, who was so kind to inform me that Buffy, who was sitting right
beside me, just so happened to be the very BITCH I was referring to."

Spike's laughter grew louder as he fell to the floor, clutching his
stomach. Nic looked down at him shaking her head and then took
another shot of whiskey.

~~~~

"So," Willow said as she and Buffy sat on Buffy's bed eating gooey
chocolate fudge ice cream. "When Spike's strutting around acting all
cocky, and claiming to be 'The Big Bad', he's telling the truth?"



"Yep, and I'm usually scream it to him whenever we..you know?" Buffy
said taking a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.



"OH MY GOD!!" Willow squealed with laughter as she fell back onto the
bed and covered her face with a pillow. Buffy giggled too. "Oh
Buffy," Willow said recovering from her fit. "Why didn't you ever
tell me before now?"



"Well for one I didn't think you'd be this cool about it."



"Come on Buffy, you're an adult so you can pretty much do what you
want, with whomever you want, and hello we already know you have a
thing for vampires..."



"One vampire..." Buffy began to recite the same statement she has
professed to Spike after their first night together, and then took
note of the doubtful look Willow was shooting her. "Ok, two
vampires..." She mumbled.



"It's ok," Willow reassured her friend. "And speaking of the two
vampires...Who's the bigger monster in bed?"



"Willow!" Buffy said wide eyed as they both fell into another fit of
laughter


~~~~

"Needless to say, I was very embarrassed, not that you give a damn."
Nic said as she lounged on the couch beside Spike.



"And you know I really don't." Spike said with a smirk as he now
sipped on the glass of whiskey he had fixed.



"I don't know what upset her more, what I said or the fact that you
and I are close enough that you'd tell me personal stuff like that."
Spike gave her a confused look. "The girl was jealous."



"Ok, luv I'm definitely cutting you off, you've had too much."



"No, I'm serious the girl was miffed. As the night progressed and we
all got over my foot in the mouth, whenever I talked about you and us
working together, she got pissed."



"Really?" Spike asked in disbelief.



"Yes, trust me on this not only am I a woman, and know the way women
think, I also have been alive for over 5000 years, so I'm experienced
in the matters of the heart. The girl's got it bad for you whether
she's willing to admit it or not. So?"



"So what?"



"What are you going to do about it?" Nic asked.

~~~~

"You should go over there." Willow said as she looked with disgust at
the spoonful of ice cream she held.



"Whmmm?" Buffy mumble as she swallowed down the last of her ice cream.



"You should go over to Spike's." Willow repeated.



"What? No. You think I should? I can't." Buffy said shaking her head.



"Why not, you know you want to."



"Two reasons, one, I don't have his address and he doesn't want me to
have it remember, and two she's probably there, right now." Buffy
said beginning to pout again.



"Ah, so what. His address in right in my address book, in my side
table drawer, if you open it up and get out of the book, technically
I haven't given it to you. And you know Spike will be happy to see
you. As for Nic she's not interested in Spike, trust me."



"And how do you know that?"



"Cause...ah well she kind of slipped me her number." Willow said with
a sly smile. Buffy's eyes grew wide as did the grin on her face.



"You're kidding right?" Willow shook her head no.

~~~~

"So what's up with 'Red', you think she'd like to go out sometime?"
Nic asked.



"Nope."



"Oh she's straight huh? Funny I was getting a vibe that she liked a
softer, better smelling species." Nic asked with a hint of
disappointment.



"No." Spike said and then finished his drink. "She's gay, but very in
love with a great bird."



"Ahhh, I see. Oh well." Nic said with a shrug as she stood and made
her way to the door. Spike didn't move from his spot on the
couch. "Well you think she and her girlfriend would..." Nic
questioned but saw the look Spike was giving her and recanted. "Just
asking," She said as she opened the door. "Goodnight." She said
before closing the door after her.


~~~~

Sometime Later:

'Bloody hell, I'm gonna kill her. Sure she's stronger then I am and
have a few fighting jabs I haven't mastered yet, but I'm gonna kill
her. Just who in the hell does she think she is, think she can come
and go as she pleases? Think I'll jump whenever she wants, well not
this time, not with me. I have done way too much of that. But she's
not gonna leave me alone, I'll never get any peace at this rate. So,
it would be best if I just go ahead and take her out, and be done
with her' Spike thought as he moved to the door. "This better be good
Nic, cause if not I'm gonna..." Spike growled as he yanked open the
door. He was stunned by what he saw standing on the other
side. "Buffy?" He stared at her, dazed. "Sorry luv wasn't expecting
it to be you."



"I got that." Buffy said with a small smile and then looked down at
her feet.



"Is something wrong pet?" Spike question as his gaze bore into
her. "Is it Dawn?" He asked in a near panic, which Buffy noticed and
appreciated.



"No, Dawn's fine. She's spending the weekend with friends." Buffy
reassured and smiled as she saw Spike take a big sigh of relief.



"So, what brings you by, lu...Buffy?" Spike correctly, quickly
remembering that she hated it when he called her that. Buffy's began
fidgeting her hands as if stalling in order to think of something to
say, she finally settled for a semi truth.



"Well, I heard through the grapevine you had a new pad, so I came by
to check it out." She said with a smile and hint of jest in her
voice. Spike just stared at her expressionless. "Truth is," Buffy
said as she looked back down at her feet. "I've missed you. Missed
just talking with you."



"Naw, I don't think so." Spike said as he looked as if he were in
deep thought, contemplating what she had said. "Try again." Buffy
looked up at him with a confused look.



"Excuse me?"



"The truth, that wasn't it, and that's all I want to hear from you
from now on. The truth. I'm not gonna play this game with you anymore
Buffy. So, unless you're here to speak the truth, the whole truth and
nothing but...I need to get back to bed, I gotta work tomorrow
night." Buffy looked at him stunned not only but his words but by his
demeanor, she could see that he had meant what he had said. Buffy's
defensive nature wouldn't allow her to be submissive, so she tried
turning the tables.



"And just what do you think the truth is, Spikey?" She asked pushing
up her chin a bit, which made Spike soften and smile a bit, for he
knew it was just a part of her tough girl act and just a cover.



"Let's, see, truth...truth is you didn't come all the way over here
because you missed me. You came because that pretty little head of
yours got filled with naughty thoughts of Nic and I. You were
wondering if I was kissing her the way I kiss you, if I touched her
the way I touched you, if she screamed out the same things you do
when I lick the right spot." Spike spoke in a low sensual tone as he
leaned out the doorway and leered at her, causing Buffy's mouth to go
dry despite that fact that she was fuming at the 'truths' he spat at
her. "Truth is you really came over here hoping that I'd take you in
my home and my bed, actually you wouldn't care if I took you right
here in the hall, would you? So long as you could get the 'touch'.
Truth is you love me and it scares the hell out of you, and not
because I'm an evil thing, no it was never that. Nor is it because
you think your super friends will get pissed at you, though I thought
for a long time that was the reason, but that's not it either. You're
scared to love me because you know that we're perfect together. With
me you feel security and fulfillment in every way that you've never
felt with anyone else. When we're together you feel utter and
complete bliss, and you're afraid that if you admit and give into it,
it'll go away. I'll go away and leave you alone, like all the others."



"You're wrong. What we had it was good I'll give you that but it was
wrong. You're a vampire and me, I'm a vampire slayer. Spike we're
never gonna have a crypt for two, with a picket white fence. We can
never have that happily ever after you've dreamed up in you warped
dead brain. You want the truth, truth is I feel lust and disgust for
you, I lust you and allow you to defile me," Spike shot her a glare
at her reference to their 'relationship' but didn't say anything but
allowed her to finish. "Then comes the disgust and shame. Truth is I
want it to stop, I don't want to want you. I want to have a normal
life, with a normal guy." Buffy said defiantly, hoping it sound more
convincing aloud then it did in her head. 'It's better this way, this
is how it has to be' she repeated over and over in her head.



"So that's the truth as you see it? You just want a normal life and a
normal guy?" Spike asked eyeing her suspiciously, unconvinced and
losing interest in the entire conversation, which surprised him. It
wasn't that long ago he hung on her every word, and thrived on their
arguments.



"That's right, the whole truth and nothing but the truth." Buffy said
and then folded her arms across her chest.



"Ok, then let me make it easier for you." with that Spike closed the
door in her face and turned without a second thought and made his way
back to his bed. Buffy stood in the hall for a long moment. At first
she thought he had gone to get something to give to her, but
realization soon dawned on her that he wasn't coming back. He had
shut her out, out of his home and mostly out of his life, which is
exactly what she had just told him she wanted. 'So why the hell does
it hurt so much?' she wondered as she turned and slowly headed
towards the elevator.

"And he slammed the door in your face?" Willow said as she sat in
shock at the kitchen counter watching as Buffy made herself a late
night snack. "Whoa,"



"It wasn't a slam but more like a firm shutting of the door." Buffy
said with a small frown.



"Oh," Willow said with a giggle. Buffy looked to her stunned that she
found humor in it.



"You think this is funny?"



"No...no. Well, uhm...it's just that for so long you were kind of
bitch slapping Spike around, and he was taking it cause, you know he
loves you. Now, he's getting a back bone." Willow replied with a
twinkle in her eyes and smile on her face. "It's kind of," Then she
took note of the look on Buffy's face. "So not funny. Bad
Spike...bad, bad Spike."



"No, you're right." Buffy said as she slumped down on the stool
beside her friend. "I've treated Spike so badly, I can't blame him
for getting feed up with it."



"I don't think that was his point Buffy."



"What do you mean?"



"He made a pretty simple request from what you've told me. He just
wanted you to admit you have feeling for him."



"But I don't know if I do or not. I'm not sure of how I feel."



"Hey again I say, this is your 'NON' judgy best friend here. Need I
remind you of the Parker incident?" Buffy frowned at the name she had
tried desperately to forget. "We both know you won't sleep with a guy
without having some feelings there, some emotions. And from what
you've told me you and Spike weren't a one time thing, and did you
really do it on tombstones?" Willow interjected still not believing
what she had been told. Buffy just arched her eyebrows and nodded
which soon turned into a look of hurt and shock.



"Oh God, I'm Parker. I've been treating Spike the same way Parker
treated me."



"Well yeah pretty much, except Spike doesn't have great friends to
stop him from going back," Willow said with a proud smile. "Oh and
Parker didn't have feelings for you, but 'you' do have feelings for
Spike, right?" Willow said being the voice of reason. Buffy slowly
looked to her and then stood and walked out the back door. "Glad to
be of help." Willow said as she smiled at the door and then stood to
head upstairs.


~~~~
"Bloody Hell!!" Spike roared as he yanked the door open, his face
instantly slipped back into his human facade. Spike didn't speak but
waited. Buffy fidgeted nervously under his gaze, even when Spike was
angry with her his eye never showed anything but love for her, and
she could see it, she always could. She opened her mouth to speak but
then quickly shut it again. Spike tilted his head to the side as he
observed her. Buffy moved closer to him and reached up and gently
stroked his face. Spike opened his mouth to speak now, but Buffy
quickly covered his mouth with her hand, silencing him.



"No words they seem to get in the way with us. No words just for
tonight." Buffy whispered smiling slightly. She moved again, closer,
so close Spike could feel the heat streaming from her body, her warm
breath against his bare chest. With just her closeness his body
reacted, despite his brain's commands. He could feel himself growing
beneath his black silk boxer, and a growl emanating in his chest. He
took a step back and he wasn't sure if it were to escape or to move
them to a more private scene. Buffy moved instep with him, matching
his every movement, in perfect sync. Once they were standing
completely within the doorway, Buffy pushed the door shut behind her.
In the back ground music could be heard playing softly from Spike
entertainment center. It was an enchanting tune, soothing so much so
Buffy found herself swaying to it, and before long she was completely
in spike's arm with her head against his chest, as they both swayed
to the music.



(you think i'd leave your side baby

you know me better than that

you think i'd leave you down when you're down on your knees

i wouldn't do that

i'll tell you you're right when you want

and if only you could see into me

ha ah ah ah ah ah



oh when you're cold

i'll be there

hold you tight to me



when you're on the outside baby and you can`t get in

i will show you you're so much better than you know

when you're lost and you're alone and you can't get back again

i will find you darling and i will bring you home)



Tears now flowed from Buffy eyes for she knew these were Spike's
words. The very words he had been saying...screaming to her everyday
since she got back, and even before. She looked up at Spike and his
loving concerned eyes stared back, all his earlier anger completely
gone. He reached out and gently wiped at her tears, and then
entangled his hand in her hair, pulling her closer into a kiss. The
kiss was sweet, it was gentle and slow nothing like their usual
kisses, which were fevered and fueled by their lust, and sometimes
blood was drawn in the fury. Buffy gripped at his forearms
desperately, pushing closer to him. Spike moved his hands to her
coat, never leaving her mouth. He glided the coat from her shoulder,
and Buffy chucked it to the floor. Spike then moved to her blouse,
which was just a halter-top, and Spike was pleased by how simple it
was to discard and even more please to feel nothing but hot soft
flesh beneath. Another growl hummed from him.



(and if you want to cry

i am here to dry your eyes

and in no time

you'll be fine



you think i'd leave your side baby

you know me better than that

you think id leave you down when you're down on your knees

i wouldn't do that

i'll tell you you're right when you want

and if only you could see into me

ha ah ah ah ah ah



oh when you're cold

i'll be there

hold you tight to me

when you're low

i'll be there

by your side baby)



Within seconds they both stood completely naked and still wrapped in
each other's arm's, still swaying to the music. Both lovingly raked
their fingers over the other's body, while dousing each other with
kisses. Spike danced them to the fireplace, where he had sat by
earlier thinking of Buffy while gazing into the roaring flames. He
stopped their dancing and laid Buffy down against the plush pillows
he had lain there earlier. He hovered above her admiring her beauty,
loving the way the light from the flames danced across her
skin. "Damn you're beautiful." He said in a soft whisper and Buffy
blushed and reveled in the way her was worshipping her with his eyes.
She reached up for him, pulling him down to her. Spike rested on one
elbow, not wanted to crush her with his weight though he knew she
could take it, and usually did. Not now, not tonight, maybe not ever
again he thought. Tonight there were no words, only showing. Tonight
he would make love to her, it would be slow and tender not like
before, where he had ravage her and in some instances force himself
onto her and into her very cruelly. It had been what she wanted, what
she needed, but not now. Spike moved in between her thighs and Buffy
gripped his shoulders, bracing herself for what she knew was coming...



(oh when you're cold

i'll be there

hold you tight to me

oh when you're low

i'll be there

by your side baby)


~~~~

Spike rested himself on his elbows, staring down into Buffy's
face. "I love you." He said in a near whisper. Buffy smiled and
stroked his cheek. Spike watched her, waiting for her response. When
it dawned on Buffy what he wanted she became ridged.



"Spike, I..." She hesitated not able to bring herself to say aloud
what she felt in her heart.



"Say it, the world won't end if you do. Nothing will change between
us." Buffy eyed him skeptically at those words. "What you afraid I
will stalk you 'more'?" Spike asked jokingly. "Just say it, Buffy."



"I can't, I don't know how I feel, yet."



"I want to hear you say it. Say the words." Spike said as he leaned
back some.



"I can't, I'm just not ready." Buffy said and Spike sat up in
frustration.



"Oh, so you're not ready to say you love me, but you're ready to give
yourself to me. To let me take you anywhere and anyway I want to? You
don't know how you feel about me, but you come and sleep with me
nearly every night? There are names for women like that Luv,
Trollops, whores, sluts." Spike hissed and Buffy instantly sat up,
clutching her arms to her chest. Buffy moved to get her clothes.
Spike quickly yanked her to him. "Where you going luv? I didn't say I
wouldn't indulge you."



"Let go." Buffy hissed as tears began to roll down her cheek.



"But I haven't given you the touch yet, I mean that is why you came
here isn't it? That's why you always come, got that itch that needs
scratching." Buffy didn't speak she just locked her jaws and stared
down at the floor. "What the hell are you so afraid of? Huh? What!"
His grip on her wrists tightened and his eye glazed with a tint of
yellow. Brutally Spike released Buffy and she stumbled back, he
yanked up her clothes and threw them at her. "Get dressed and get
out! I tire of this game we play, I quit." Buffy eyed him and then
slowly picked up her garments and dressed. "Angel had the right idea,
leaving you alone." Spike grumbled and Buffy looked at him wide eyed.



"You're saying you're leaving?" Buffy croaked out. Spike sat silent
for a second and then looked to the doe eye girl before him, with a
smile on his lips he shook his head.



"No, I'll never leave you. No matter how infuriating you are, no
matter how much of a bitch you may act towards me. I will never leave
you. Sad isn't it? You've made me even more pathetic then you made
Angel." With that Spike left the room and Buffy heard a door slam
shut, and she stood there contemplating everything. After what seemed
forever she left, and she knew that nothing would ever be the same
between them again.

Song by Sade: (By your Side)

It had been two months, and sixteen days with no sign of Spike. Buffy
would have thought he had left town if Dawn hadn't mentioned from
time to time that she had spent time with him. He had been avoiding
her and doing a great job of it, and it hurt. "So, what do you
think?" Dawn said with a bright smile.



"Huh?" Buffy said awakening from her thoughts.



"My birthday party. My sixteenth birthday party."



"Oh."



I was thinking of maybe having a costume party, that would be cool,
don't cha think?"



"Sure, you are the birthday girl, it's your day so you should have it
like you want." Buffy smiled encouragingly.



"I'm so glad you said that cause...Uhm...I was gonna invite Spike. If
that's ok with you."



"Sure," Buffy said trying to hide the excitement in her voice.



"I wasn't sure you'd want me to, I mean I figured you guys had a
fight, a pretty bad one, cause he's been all avoidy."



"No, it's ok. I mean he deserves to be there, he protected you while
I was gone."



"He still does, and he's majorly over protective. I figure with a
Slayer for a sister and a Vamp for a brother, I'll never get to
date." Buffy stared at her in wonderment. "What?"



"You think of Spike as your brother?"



"Well, yeah...kind of, as dysfunctional as we are, we're a family."
Dawn said as she stood and grabbed her books, ready for
school. "Laters." With that she headed out the door.



"Yeah, I guess we are." Buffy said with a sad smile.

~~~~



"Happy Birthday, Dawnie!!" Tara exclaimed as she entered the kitchen.



"Thanks," Dawn replied as she and Tara embraced. Tara handed Dawn her
present. "Double thanks. Wow you look great."



"I'm Joan of Arc."



"Cool, you know Willow had that same costume one Halloween." Dawn
said.



"Yeah I know, she told me. And look at you...Uhm who are you suppose
to be, exactly?"



"Morticia Addams, you know the Addams' family."



"Oh, so, where's Buffy and Will?"



"They're upstairs, I think they're still getting ready."



"Well, I'll go see how they're doing." Tara said as she headed for
the stairs. When she reached the top she moved to Buffy's room door
and gently knocked.



"Come in." Buffy called from the other side of the door. Tara stuck
he head in and then smiled at Willow who sat on the bed, dressed in a
tinker bell type custom. She then walked in and shut the door behind
her. "Hey," She said brightly. "You look great."



"Thanks, you too."



"Thanks, uhm Where's Buffy?" Willow pointed to the opened closet
door, and suddenly clothes started flying out. "What are you doing in
there?"



"I can't find anything to wear." Buffy grumbled and Willow and Tara
stared at the many garments resting about the room.



"Uhm...right?" Tara said with a smile.



"Spike's coming." Willow said plainly with a soft smile.



"Spike...uhm..." Tara began to stutter.



"It's ok Buffy told me about her and Spike, and that you knew
already."



"Oh," Tara said with a sigh. "So she's nervous about Spike coming?"



"No!" Buffy said as she emerged from the closet. "I'm not nervous
about Spike coming, I could so care less." Buffy said defiantly, and
both Tara and Willow gave her a nonbelieving look. Buffy rolled her
eyes and then with a huff plopped down on the floor. "Ok, ok I am.
It's been nearly three months, since I saw him last. You know when he
dumped me."



"Buffy, Spike didn't...Ok he did but he still loves you, you don't
just stop loving someone just because you discover you can't be with
them. And it doesn't mean it's forever, maybe Spike just needs time."
Tara stated not noticing the look of hope now in Willow's eyes.



"No, this time was different, if you had seen his eyes, he meant
every word he spoke. He wants something I don't know I can give him,
and he's not willing to wait around to see if I change my mind."
Buffy said glumly. Outside they could hear the rumbling of a car, and
Willow moved to the window.



"Guess who just arrived. Whoa he's wearing an Egyptian, Pharaoh style
costume. You know with the headgear, bare chest, little skirt, and
let me just say WOW! And, oh...oh, uhm." Willow said.



"What?" Buffy asked as she moved to her friend's side. They looked
down at the Blonde vamp as he helped a woman, who looked to be
dressed as Cleopatra, from the passenger side of his car. They stared
with open mouths as the woman leaned up and kissed him softly on the
lips, causing him to smile sweetly. "Oh." Buffy repeated.


~~~~

"SPIKE!" Dawn gushed excitedly as she threw her arms around the
vamp's neck. Spike returned the hug and smiled down at the girl.



"Happy birthday little bit." He said warmly.



"Thanks and you know I am the big 16, so you don't have to keep
calling he little bit." Dawn stated and Spike's face fell a little.



"Oh, yeah I guess..."



"But if you want to...you know, keep calling me that you can. Only if
you want to." Dawn said not really so grown up that she wanted Spike
to stop using the pet name he had christened her with.



"Fine, little bit," Spike said flashing a mischievous smile. "Oh uhm
this is Natalia." He gestured to the woman beside him, who smiled and
extended her hand.



"Hello Dawn and happy birthday." Dawn smiled back awkwardly as she
took the woman's hand.



"The nerve of him, bringing a date." Willow said now sitting on the
bed beside Tara, as they both watched Buffy pace about the room.



"It's ok Will." Buffy said. "When you breakup with someone,
technically that means they can see other people."



"Yeah I know but I never thought Spike would." Willow said which
caused Buffy to stop in her tracks.



"Me neither." Buffy said glumly. "I guess we better go get this over
with. How do I look?" Buffy turned in the red satin gown that swished
about her. She had chosen to go as a Rita Hayward attire, she looked
like a beauty straight from the movie pictures of the 30's and 40's.
Her hair set in big waves, parted on the side allowing one side to
fall across her eye. The dress hugged her form from her breast to her
waist and then fell loosely from her hips to her ankles.



"You look...wow." Willow said.



"Double wow." Tara seconded.



"Spike is gonna so choke when he sees you, and then you'll see he's
so totally not over you." Willow said as she stood and headed for the
door.



"Like I car...you think so?" Buffy asked as she moved to the door
followed by Tara.



"Oh absolutely," Tara agreed. "It's hard, after a breakup when you
still love that person deeply, not to react every time you see them."
Tara shot Willow a quick look and Willow gave her a quick smile.

~~~~

"So you've gone back to the eye makeup, huh Spike?" Xander who came
dressed as Napoleon with Anya as his Josephine, said slapping the
vamp on the back, playfully.



"It's just a part of the costume wanker. And how bout you, what's
with the hair you look...like..." Spike's train of thought left him
when he saw Buffy accompanied by Tara and Willow walk down the
stairs. An instant lump formed in his throat, which he failed to
swallow down.



"Hey there you guys are, where ya been?" Xander said cheerfully.



"I had a little trouble getting into the dress." Buffy lied. Buffy's
eyes fell to Spike's chest and she found it hard to concentrate. The
same could be said of Spike, who couldn't tear his eyes from Buffy.



"So, drinks all around, then." Xander offered.



"Dress," Spike said and then quickly corrected. "Yes!"



"Abs...sooolutely." Buffy said hoping no one caught the slip up.



"Ooookay," Xander said wondering what the hell was going on.



"Hey Buffy," Dawn rushed over with Natalia in tow. "Did you meet
Spike's girlfriend, Natalia? She's Russian."



"Actually, I'm Croatian, but good guess." Natalia said with a smile
as she moved to Spike and wrapped her arms around him. "Hello Buffy,
I've heard so much about you, nice to finally meet you." Natalia said
as she reach out her hand, Buffy grasped it and shook it firmly,
probably too firmly with her strength, but Natalia didn't seem to
notice.



"You've heard a lot about me?"



"Oh yes, between William and Dawn, I feel like I know you personally.
Oh but don't worry I heard nothing but good things from both."



"Uh huh," Buffy said with a forced smile as she shot Spike a
glared. "Sorry but I can't say the same, but it's nice to meet you."



"Wow you look gorgeous, Rita Hayward?" Natalia asked.



"Yeah." Buffy said instantly becoming insecure. "Sort of what I was
going for."



"Well you are definitely working that dress." Natalia said causing
Buffy to smile despite herself.



"Thanks, you look great too...both of you." Buffy said. "I think I'm
going to go help Xander with those drinks, yeah, excuse me." With
that Buffy quickly turned and headed for the kitchen. Spike's
unneeded breath caught in his throat at the sight of Buffy's bare
back which shone in the dress, which cut low in the back. Buffy
rushed into the kitchen grabbing one of the drinks Xander was about
to carry out. "Drink, drink, need a drink. Thanks." Buffy said and
then gulped it down.



"Hey Buff you ok." Xander asked worried.



"Yeah fine, just very thirsty, and suddenly very hot, whew. Think I'm
gonna go out back for a bit, cool off."



"You sure you're alright."



"Yeah, go have fun and tell the others I'll be in, in a minute."
Buffy said as she walked out the back door. With a huff Buffy plopped
down on the top step and sadly stared up at the stars. How dare he
come here and with that..that…her. Buffy thought to herself, frowning.



"Hey." Spike spoke as he walked out on to the back porch, causing
Buffy to jump.



"What are you doing out here?" Buffy asked irritated. "I came out
here to get away from yo…to be alone." Spike smiled at her slightly
as he lifted his cigarette, shaking it between his fingers.



"Needed a smoke is all, Luv. You don't want me smoking in the house,
do you?"



"No." Buffy said as she now stared back up at the stars. Spike lit up
his fag and then took a seat beside Buffy on the step. Both sat in
silence not sure of what to say. "So," Buffy spoke first. "How did
you two meet, you and Natalia." Buffy asked looking down at her
hands, which she was wring.



"I use to date her grand mum." Spike said taking a drag from his
cigarette as Buffy eyed him suspiciously. "Back in the forties,
during the world war, I saved her grand mum, and her mum, who was
just a young girl at the time, from a concentration camp." Spike said
as he took his last drag and then flicked the remaining stub on the
ground and stepped on it.



"Oh," Buffy said stunned. "Really, so you're like a family friend?"



"Yeah something like that."



"So you're not seeing each other then?"



"If you mean romantically, no, and what's it to ya anyway? What you
don't want me but no one else can have me either?"



"I do wan…wanna another drink. I'm gonna go back inside." Buffy said
as she stood and moved towards the door.



"That's right run off like always, instead of dealing." Spike said
with a smile of disgust on his lips as he remained seated on the
step. Buffy turned to him, glaring at his back, which was to her.



"I'm not running, I'm just thirsty." Buffy defended and Spike threw
her a doubtful look over his shoulder.



"Look Buffy, you don't want a real relationship with me, I get it
now, but you don't get to ask about my personal life, ok. We're just
friends, if you can call us that, and nothing more, just the way you
want it, right?" Spike asked but Buffy couldn't answer, and just
stood there over him with her arms folded across her chest. "Right."
Spike said as he stood and brushed past her reentering the house.



"I do consider you a friend you know." Buffy said as she followed him
into the house, slamming the door behind her.



"Oh yeah since when?" Spike asked turning to face her, neither
noticed that Xander, Anya, and Dawn stood in the kitchen behind them,
fixing more snacks and drinks.



"Since…since." Buffy stumbled trying hard to think when she first
started considering Spike as something other than evil and dangerous
to her and her friends.



"Yeah like I thought, you just think of me as your own personal shag
machine. The only time you act like you like me is when were in bed
and you're screaming my name and clawing my back." Spike said in a
near hissed. At that moment Xander was spitting his soda across the
room and both Anya and Dawn just stared with a shocked smile on their
lips. Buffy and Spike didn't acknowledge their audience, but just
continued to glare at each other.



"I like you then only because you're too busy kissing my ass, among
other places, to say something stupid that's gonna really piss me
off." Buffy shot back. "You know Spike if you just wouldn't talk
you'd be a whole lot better."



"Oh, what's the matter Slayer, can't handle the truth cause that's
all I've ever given you? Unadulterated, non-sugarcoated truth."



"Ha! The truth according to Spike? Please. `You belong in the dark
with me' that's your truth?"



"Well if I'm wrong then why the hell do you keep coming to me, every
night?" Buffy's mouth dropped open to speak but then closed tightly
when she realized she had no answer. "That's what I thought. Just
love the touch don't ya luv." Spike added licking his lips a little.



"You know you're unbelievable, you really think you're like God's
gift. I mean just because you're incredible in bed, giving me hours
and hours of pleasure and multiple orgasms, that doesn't make you the
greatest lover in the world." Buffy stated causing Xander to faint
and hit the floor, as both Anya's and Dawn's grins grew bigger.



"No, just the greatest lover you've ever had." Spike said in a near
growl his annoyance growing by the second.



"You know it's times like this that I'm so glad I broke up with you."
Buffy stated.



"You broke up with me? Ha! As I recall that last break up was at my
request. Which I'm beginning to think was the best thing I've ever
done." Buffy's mouth gaped open at his words but then quickly snapped
shut again. "I think I'll be going now."



"I think that's the best thing you've said all evening." Buffy
sneered. Spike turned and stalked to the doorway that led out of the
kitchen. He stopped long enough to pull a small box from a pouch
hanging around his waist. He handed it to Dawn, who took it with a
sweet smile on her lips. "Happy birthday Little bit." Spike then left
the room and seconds later the sound of a door slamming rang
throughout the house.



"Hey," Willow spoke as she and Tara both entered the kitchen. "What's
wrong with Spike he seemed very mad when he left." Buffy just stood
near the back door, where Spike left her, anger etched over her face.



"Oh Buffy and Spike had a lover's spat." Anya spoke. About that time
Xander stirred lifting himself from the floor.



"Buffy, Spike, shagging?" Xander mumbled as Anya rubbed his back.



"It's ok sweetie, he's very traumatized." Anya said.



"So I guess everyone knows now." Tara said.



"Wait, you already knew?" Dawn asked.



"Yeah, me and Willow. Buffy told us." Tara said and then noticed that
Buffy still stood glaring after Spike. "Ah, Buffy you ok?" Buffy now
looked to her friends but didn't speak instead headed up the stairs
to her room.



"Ok, you guys knew Buffy and Spike were…were," Xander spoke choking
a little. "And you didn't tell me?"



"Why would they? It's none of your business, Buffy's an adult." Dawn
defended much to everyone's surprise.



"Hello, we're talking about Spike here, an evil demon who's hurt a
lot of people." Xander said.



"Ah, hello you just described your fiancée." Dawn said. "But they're
both reformed now, both good." Xander closed his mouth to that for
fear he would say something to offend or upset Anya. "Besides it
doesn't matter anyway since Spike dumped Buffy."



"Wait, Spike dumped Buffy?" Xander repeated. "That bastard, I'll kill
him." Everyone rolled their eyes at him.



"Maybe it's for the best, maybe not. All I know is, we have to be
here for Buffy, not judging her but supporting her. Dawn's right
Buffy's an adult it's her life and if she wants to be with Spike, or
not that's her business." Tara said.



Upstairs, Buffy had changed out of her costume and into some old
Sweats, and sat on her windowsill, staring out at the moon and stars,
wondering what Spike was doing, him and Natalia.

(I won't pretend that I intend to stop living

I won't pretend I'm good at forgiving

But I can't hate you

Although I have tried

MMMM



I still really, really love you

Love is stronger than pride

I still really, really love you

MMMM



I won't pretend that I intend to stop living

I won't pretend I'm good at forgiving

But I can't hate you

Although I have tried

MMMM



I still really, really love you

Love is stronger than pride

I still really, really love you

MM MM MM MM MM)



Spike had long arrived back at his apartment, having dropped Natalia
off and headed to the liquor store for some bourbon, which he now sat
on the floor in front of the freshly lit fireplace, drinking from the
bottle. He was cursing himself for letting Buffy get him so riled up,
for saying ugly, hurtful things to her, for loving her so damned
much. He gazed into the fire and wondered what Buffy was doing, and
if she'd ever speak to him again.





(Sitting here wasting my time

Would be like

Waiting for the sun to rise

It's all too clear things come and go

Sitting here waiting for you

Would be like waiting for winter

It's gonna be cold

There may even

Be snow)



A soft knock came at the door, Spike got up and moved to open the
door. He was shocked yet very please to see her standing there. He
moved to the side letting her enter and closing the door behind her.



(I still really, really love you

Love is stronger than pride

I still really, really love you

Love is stronger

I still really love you

Love is stronger than pride)



Song by Sade (Love is Stronger then Pride)


Fin…on to the next Buffy/Spike adventure, 'Twice in a Lifetime'