Chapter One- Letters From an Old Friend

New York:

“Honey, a letter came for you.” Joyce Summers called out to her eldest daughter.

The middle-aged woman was standing in the kitchen of her Manhattan loft, sifting through a pile of junk mail on the island counter top. The island sat in the middle of the spacious room, and was surrounded by four wooden stools the color of a bottle of sherry. Unopened mail littered the counter top and a bowl of fresh fruit was positioned in the center. An old fashioned stove remained in back of her and a refrigerator stood to her left. Some dirty dishes sat unnoticed in the nearby sink, which could be found on the left-hand sidewall next to the refrigerator. Chestnut cupboards lined the peach-colored walls at the top near the ceiling, as well as near the floor.

Buffy bounced into the room from the stairs to the right. Her long honey blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail that fell to the middle of her back, and swung from side to side with each step she took. The gray pair of sweat pants she wore clung to her tiny waist and fell loose from her hips all the way down to her slim ankles. She wore a plain white tank that was tight and form-fitting, accenting her taut breasts and leaving not much to the imagination. Her body held the grace of a nineteen-year-old, but her eyes reflected the still very-much-intact innocence of a young girl.

“Another letter from that shoe store on Main and First? How many times have I told them that I plan on paying off my tap as soon as I have the money?” She asked causally, glancing into the refrigerator as she pulled the door open. She skimmed its contents for a moment before deciding on bottled water. Taking a sip she turned back towards her mother.

“Yeah, and you also plan on paying off all those nice pink slips of paper that I like to refer to as ‘parking tickets’ too, right?” Joyce chuckled.

“As a matter of fact, I do.” Buffy replied glaring daggers at her. Joyce just continued to laugh examining the letter.

“Actually it looks quite like a card to me. From Sunnydale.” She added the last part just to see her daughter’s react.

Buffy’s attention was immediately focused on the tiny white envelope Joyce held in her hands. Joyce wasn’t surprised at her daughter’s reaction to the news. She knew Buffy still missed her friends back home dearly, even though New York had been home for the past three years. She was pulled out of her thoughts, though, as Buffy snatched the card out of her hands.

“Oh, a card. For me.” She sounded cheerful.

Buffy stared at the return address in the top left-hand corner of the envelope for what seemed like an eternity judging whether or not she wanted to open the card from the only place in the world that she could refer to as ‘home.’

‘1632 Revello Drive.

Sunnydale, CA 55555’

God, she hadn’t heard from Sunnydale in forever. That address seemed like a different world now. It was, really. Not since she was sixteen, had she seen that address, but she remembered it like it was yesterday.

It was the house where she spent most of her waking hours at, playing whatever game she and her friends would make up. It was the house where she would hide out while her parents were fighting. Where she had her first boyfriend. Her first kiss. Her best friend. Her William.

And she could tell by the slender cursive writing just whom the card was from. She had spent countless days watching him write and perfect poetry addressed to her in that very same handwriting. She could never forget that writing. So committed to memory it was, that she was sure could remember the way it looked more vividly than the actual source of the writing.

It was from William.

“Who’s it from, Buffy?” Joyce asked from across the counter, looking rather expectedly at her.

“It’s from Will, mom.” Buffy replied, absentmindedly, still staring at the piece of mail as if it were to jump up and bite her finger off any minute now.

“Really dear, what does it say?”

Buffy hurriedly ripped open the top of the envelope and pulled out it’s contents.

Her mother was right, it was a card. The front was white with light blue printed French curves, lining the edges of the tiny cardboard. Huge printed cursive letters spelled out the phrase ‘Please join us in celebrating...’ The words continued on into the inside cover, so Buffy opened the card and read the rest of the phrase, eyes growing wide in shock.

“H-He’s getting married.” She said not realizing she even spoke, as her big hazel eyes remained fixed on the words that would forever change her life. ‘The marriage of Mr. William Giles and Cordelia Chase.’

________________________________________________________________________

A/N: I know it’s small, but I just had this idea and wanted to try it out. What do you think? Any suggestions? Please Review!!!

Chapter Two- New Neighbors

13 years ago, Sunnydale:

Soon-to-be six year-old Buffy Summers sat quietly on the steps of her front porch on Revello Drive. The little pink stuffed pig she held in her tiny hands flew up in the air as she launched it as hard as she could. When gravity brought it crashing down to the earth again, those same hands caught it.

She was so bored. Not only were her friends all out of town visiting relatives, but there was absolutely no one else on her block that was her age. She really hoped Willow and Xander would be back in time for her sixth birthday next week. They had promised to come and bring lots of presents. She couldn’t wait to turn six and finally become a ‘big girl’. She didn’t want to be a baby anymore. That was what her new baby sister was going to be for when she was born. She was going to be the big sister, now.

Up. Down. Up. Down. Mr. Grodo went, Buffy catching him every time. God, she wished for somebody to play with.

Suddenly a black car pulled in the driveway next door. She looked up at the sound of an engine turning off. It must be the new neighbors. Buffy had forgotten that the house had been sold. Her mommy had told her that the other day. Something about the Gills or Guyels family moving here from England so their daddy could become a professor at Sunnydale U. She wondered if the new neighbors’ kids were her age so they could play. She should ask.

As Buffy stood and made her way over to the car, she watched as a tall, older man dressed in tweed got out of the driver’s seat and a dark haired woman rose from the passenger’s side. The two were followed by two young boys. They must be brothers.

One was tall and had dark brown hair that was short and stood on end. He was tall and gorgeous, who had soulful brown eyes, an amazing smile, and quite possibly the most angelic face she’d ever seen. Buffy was in love!

The other, much shorter boy, had poofy, brown hair and big, thick glasses, that seemed to gobble up his face, and he had to constantly readjust them on the bridge of his nose to keep them from falling off. He was a thin, frail looking boy that looked younger than the other boy and wasn’t at all as cute as him either.

The two adults made their way inside and the boys lingered behind. Buffy approached them quietly.

“Hi.” She said cheerfully. “I’m Buffy. I live next door. I’m gonna be six next week.” She smiled brightly, keeping her gaze fixed on the darker haired boy.

“That’s nice. I’m Liam. I’m eight but I’ll be nine in two months.” The boy smiled sweetly.

Wow, he was eight! Her breath hitched in her chest, and she really wasn’t sure she was breathing at all. He even looked better up close and Buffy found it hard to breathe. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, and smiled back at him.

“This is my little brother William. He’s only seven. Say hi Will.” He ordered, turning and pointing to his brother as he spoke.

“Hello, Buffy.” He said, turning to face Buffy. When he saw her he smiled. She was kinda cute.

Buffy smiled at him. She noticed that William had an accent, but Liam didn’t. A girl she used to go to school with had a sister that talked different and she had told Buffy that was because they had different dads. William and Liam must have different dads too. She thought. She was pulled out of her thoughts by Liam’s voice.

“We just moved here from England. My mom got married to Will’s dad. He’s British. That’s why he talks so funny.” He told the little girl in front of him, proudly, puffing out his chest. He was almost nine, so that made him like three years older than her, which meant he was probably smarter.

“My da don’t talk funny, you wanker.” William yelled at his brother, embarrassed.

“Yes, he does, and so do you. And I’m tellin’ mom you called me a wanker.” Liam told him, getting angry.


Buffy watched the two boys argue, feeling slightly out of place. She found it rather funny the way that silly William kept using words she didn’t understand and had never heard of until now. Something about a bloody poof, and peaches, although she wasn’t sure why he would call Liam a peach. He didn’t look like a peach to her.

She thought about asking him what the words meant, but figured that Liam might think she was a baby or something. So she remained silent, listening to the banters being thrown back and forth until the older man she saw go into the house earlier returned and scolded the boys for their behavior. Then they had to go inside to eat dinner.

Buffy bounced back over to her house to tell her mommy about the new friends she had made and ask if she could invite them to her party. She really liked Liam, and William wasn’t so bad either she guessed.

~*~*~*~

A week passed and Buffy was not feeling so bored anymore without Willow and Xander around. She and Will became instant friends and played together everyday. Buffy told Will all about how her mommy was going to have another baby and that she would be the one to take care of her since she would be the big sister. Will told Buffy about England and how his real mommy died when he was a baby and that his daddy married Jenny now.

Although Liam said he was Buffy’s friend, he never really wanted to hang out with her and Will, being he was a manly eight year-old. He would spend most days with some girl down the street that Buffy assumed was his girlfriend. Her name was Drusilla and she was the same age as Liam was. Buffy had only met her once, but she didn’t like her that much. She was always talking about the stars and having tea parties with her dolls. Plus, anyone that was Liam’s girlfriend wasn’t very high on her list of best friends.

Will knew Buffy liked his brother and he thought she was silly. Liam was a great big poof, how could she like him! Not like he cared really, he would never have a girlfriend. Girls had cooties and liked to play with Barbies and girly stuff like that. But Buffy was ok, though. Sure, she liked Barbies, but she also liked to play stuff that he liked too. She reminded him more of a boy than a girl, but she was his friend, so she was ok.

When Buffy’s birthday finally came, she was so happy. Willow and Xander were both able to come and so were a few of her other friends from school. Even Will and Liam came, much to Liam’s dismay. Buffy was just some little girl who lived next door to him that liked to follow him around like some kind of groupie. It was rather annoying at times.

The party went along great and Buffy got lots of presents. Willow bought her a new Barbie, at which Will snorted at. Buffy just slapped him on his head and went back to opening gifts. Xander gave her a really pretty new dress to wear when school started again. It was pink with little white flowers on it, Buffy loved it. Liam bought her a hair bow set to do up her long blonde hair in. Buffy smiled shyly at him and said “Thank you.”

The last present she opened was from Will. It was a square box about a foot high wrapped in a shiny pink wrapping paper. Buffy ripped it open eagerly, a huge smile on her face. Once she got the box open she looked inside to find a little pink stuffed pig with a small tag around it’s neck that read ‘Mrs. Gordo’.

Buffy squealed in delight and threw her arms around Will. “Thank you so much, Will. I love it. It‘s the best birthday present ever!”

Will just smiled back and wrapped his skinny arms around the girl that was his new best friend. “You’re welcome, Buffy. I’m glad you like it.”

Buffy pulled away and Will was a little surprised when she planted a kiss on his cheek. A rosey pink creped up his face and all he could do was smile back. He could tell they were going to be friends for a long time.

________________________________________________________________________

“Cordelia!” Dawn shrieked, eyes almost bulging out of their sockets.

“Yes for the hundredth time. Cordelia. It said, ‘You are invited to the wedding of Mr. William Giles and Cordelia Chase.’” Buffy repeated for the third time to her disbelieving younger sister.

They were sitting in a cafe, sipping iced mochas, while Buffy retold the story of receiving the invitation the previous day. She could understand why Dawn didn’t believe it, she, herself, was still reeling from the news that her very best friend in the whole world was getting married, and to the girl she had hated the most in high school, no less. To say that Buffy was a little ‘out of it’ would be an understatement.

“I’m sorry, it’s just, well...Cordelia? How? Why? I mean, you said that they barely spoke to each other in high school.” The younger summers sister said, trying to make sense of what her sister had just told her.

“They didn’t. But then, people like Cordy never were aloud to associate with people like Spike and me.” Buffy pointed out. “I did hear that she had a thing for him once, though.”

“I thought you said that Spike only dated one girl in high school.” Dawn pondered, tapping her fingers on the table rhythmically.

“He did. He went out with Faith McKinney for a year and a half, but she cheated on him with Angel. After that, Spike just didn’t seem to notice any other girl.”

“Probably because he was too busying noticing you.” Dawn grinned, giving Buffy the I-know-more-than-you-think look.

“Dawn.” Buffy warned, taking a sip of her mocha, savoring the cool sensation in her warm mouth before letting the thick liquid slide down her throat.

“What? Can you honestly tell me that Spike rejected all those girls that asked him out, just because of one breakup?” She asked, slightly annoyed at her sister’s reaction to her words. “Please. He was totally into you way before you guys hooked up. Besides, he and Faith weren’t that serious. It just seemed like sex to me.”

“How would you know, you were only ten when we left Sunnydale.” Buffy replied, remembering her sister three years ago. She had grown up so much since then. Her dark hair was longer than it had been when they still lived in Sunnydale, reaching down to the middle of her back, and her eyes had become a darker blue than before. Buffy knew that wasn’t the only thing that had changed about her baby sister, though. She also knew that Dawn was a teenager now and that she understood much more about life in general than she had three years ago.

“Yeah, but it was so obvious. I mean, even mom knew that Faith was just using him. I may have not understood it then, but I’ve taken sex-ed since we moved here. I know all about that stuff.” Dawn answered, sitting up in her chair and puffing out her chest, proudly.

“I forgot you’re such the expert on all things sex-related now.” Buffy joked, chuckling softly.

“Don’t you forget it.” Dawn said smiling. Her smile suddenly faded when she realized something. “Just don’t tell mom, okay? I couldn’t bare to listen to another one of the ‘talks.’” She groaned, using two fingers from each hand to emphasize the word ‘talks.’

“Don’t worry, your secret's safe with me.” Buffy smiled. She knew how bad her mother’s ‘talks’ were. She had to sit through them many times growing up, especially after...

“I’m sorry.” Dawn said suddenly, breaking Buffy out of one of her more depressing thoughts.

“‘Bout what?” She asked, focusing on the girl in front of her once more.

“I know this is probably hard on you.” She explained, in a soothing tone. “I know how much you loved him.”

Buffy suddenly became very interested in the corners of her folded up napkin. She busied her fingers with trying to neatly fold them back into the shape that they previously had been in. Anything to not think about him. About what they shared. About what they lost... That only brought heartache.

“I admit... I was, well, a little wigged out at first, but I’ve had some time to think about everything and I’m okay with it. He moved on, it’s what people do. I can’t hold that against him. I’m happy that he finally found someone that can make him happy.” The blonde summers said, avoiding the wondering gaze of the young girl across from her. She didn’t know who she was trying to convince more, Dawn or herself.

Dawn saw that Buffy was avoiding her eyes and knew that she wasn’t being honest with her and it made her mad. She and Buffy had become closer over the past three years. Since neither of them knew anyone in New York, they had spent more time together, doing things that sisters are supposed to do with each other, like watch movies and gossip about boys. Dawn even shared some of her more private secrets with her sister and best friend. It hurt to know that Buffy was too afraid to tell her about how she felt, but she also knew how much Buffy went through when she had to leave Spike back in Sunnydale, so she remained as calm as she could be.

“You don’t have to lie to me. I’ll understand. You don’t have to be the strong one all the time, you know. It’s okay to feel less than thrilled to know that the man you love is marrying someone else.”

This got Buffy’s attention. Her head snapped up and hazel eyes met blue, as the eldest sister registered what was just said to her. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, giving her the appearance of a fish out of water. Finally she found her voice.

“I’m not lying. I do have to be strong, and I am happy for them!” She declared, defensively. “And who said I’m still in love with him?”

“Denial much? Of course you’re still in love with him. You and Riley broke up because you couldn’t love him. And why do you think that is? Because you’re still in love with Spike!”

“That’s not why me and Riley broke up!” Buffy stated, angrily. Yes it is. Yes it is. A little voice in the back of her mind screamed. No I broke up with Riley because I wanted to, not because I’m still in love with Spike. I can’t still be in love with Spike. Just because I still have a picture of the two of us on my night stand, and play those same old stupid punk songs that he used to listen to, and that he’s all I think about when I’m awake, and all I dream about when I’m not, doesn’t mean that I still love him! Nope, I’m so over him!

“Yes it is. You couldn’t love Riley because you were still hung up on Spike!” Dawn replied, feeling pretty pissed off herself.

“Dawn, lets not do this, okay?” Buffy breathed, running a hand through her long, shiny, blonde locks. God, I need an aspirin. She thought.

“I still don’t understand why he’d want to marry Cordelia.” Dawn wondered.

“Maybe he loves her.” Buffy supplied, a hint of sadness in her voice.

“No way! You are his one and only. He loved you more than anything.” Dawn said seriously.

“Things change.” Buffy told her bluntly, trying not to feel her heart break as she said the words.

Dawn looked at her sister. She could tell that she was fighting back the emotions with everything she had. Her heart went out to her. “Not that kind of love.”

Buffy didn’t give any indication that she heard her, but Dawn knew that she did. She just wished that she could help her sister somehow. Maybe something good would come out of going back to Sunnydale, after all.

______________________________________________________________________________

Please, please Review!! Remember: I know where you live.

13 years ago, Sunnydale:

A seven year old William and the newly turned six year old Buffy sat quietly on the couch in the Giles’s living room, watching cartoons. It was a sunny Saturday afternoon, and the warm summer air that drifted in from the open window to the right gave the young best friends’ cheeks a slightly flushed appearance. Buffy’s head rested on William’s shoulder as they continued to be absorbed into the fantasy world of Pokeman.

Mr. Giles was out for the day and the children were left in the care of Jenny. This was their normal weekend ritual, watching cartoons, eating lunch, playing in Will’s room, and trying to con one of the adults into baking them some kind of cookies. This weekend was different, though. Buffy had spent the previous night at the Giles’s house. Her mother was at the hospital, and today was the day that Buffy would finally get her new baby sister.

The older of the two friends busied himself with trying to wrap one of the braids that hung from the girl’s head around his slender fingers. Not paying attention to what he was doing, but rather focusing on the TV, the boy’s fingers slipped and he ended up tugging on the braid, hard.

"Ow!" Buffy yelped, jumping up. She moved away from her best friend, and reached up to touch the braid. "Whatcha do that for?"

"I dinna mean to. I did it on accident!" William said.

"That’s not true, you did it on purpose." The blonde girl shouted, TV forgotten for the moment.

"No I dinna!" Willaim sneered at her, turning back to watching his favorite show. "Why would I wanna pull your stupid hair anyway?"

Buffy made a face at him. "My hair’s not stupid, your’s is! And Angel was right, you do talk funny!"

His eyes popped open wide. "Take that back! I don’t talk funny, you stupid bint!"

"I don’t even know what that means, and you do so talk funny." She frowned, wondering what he meant.

"I do not!" He shouted, narrowing his icy blue orbs at her.

"Do to!" She yelled back, narrowing her hazel eyes at him.

"Do not!"

"Do to!"

"Do not!"

"Do to!"

"Shut up, Buffy!" William screamed, reaching out and yanking on the braid on the other side of her head. She yelped, surprised.

"You shut up, Willy-yum!" She growled and grabbed his glasses of his face and threw them on the floor.

"Hey, give ‘em back, I can’ see!" He bellowed, reaching his arms out, searching blindly for the thick tan frames.

"Not ‘til you say sorry!" She said, indignantly.

"No!"

"William Giles and Buffy Summers, what is going on here!" Jenny chided, standing in the doorway, hands on her hips.

The children immediately settled down, and silence filled the room. They knew they were in trouble when Jenny used their whole names. They remained quiet for fear of getting in trouble.

Jenny walked over to where William’s glasses lay, on the floor in front of his feet, picked them up and placed them on his face. He smiled at her, but she only gave him a stern look in return. Buffy snickered at this, but stopped abruptly when Jenny gave her the same look.

"You two know better than this. If I hear one more word come out of either one of you before Joyce and Hank return, I cancel the cookies and TV time for the rest of the day. Is that clear?"

"Yes, mum."

"Yes, Jenny."

The dark haired woman stood up once more and gave them another warning glance before turning to leave.

William looked at Buffy and grinned cockily. He then stuck his tongue out at her. Buffy gasped, but said nothing else for fear of getting into anymore trouble then they were already in.

~*~*~*~

A few hours later, there was a knock at the door. Jenny hurriedly raced to get there before the two devils in the living room beat her to it. She opened the door to find Joyce and Hank there, beaming like the proud parents they were. Joyce held a little bundle wrapped tightly in a pink blanket, cooing softly. Hank stood behind her carrying a bag full of various baby items. Jenny greeted them and ushered them inside.

"Mommy! Daddy! You’re back, you’re back!" Buffy cheered, running into the room, smiling brightly.

"Hello, Buffy." Joyce replied, steeping over the threshold, smiling at Jenny as she neared her older daughter.

Hank followed closely behind. "How’s my girl?" Buffy beamed at him.

"Are you ready to meet your new baby sister?" Her mother asked her, expectedly.

"Can I hold her?" Buffy asked excitedly. She held out her arm, waiting.

"Of course, honey." Joyce replied, kneeling slightly in front of her. She moved the pink bundle, with now had a tiny hand poking out from it, into Buffy’s open arms. "Like this. Support the head. There you go. We’re calling her ‘Dawn.’"

Buffy concentrated on the baby that she held. She had never seen anything so small. Dawn looked up at her with her big sparkling blue eyes and giggled quietly. Buffy kind of liked her. She was cute. Just like one of her baby dolls. She had no hair on her little head, but the skin there was soft and tender. Her mouth hung open a little, and Buffy noticed that there was no teeth there. Drool glistened on the corners of her lips.

"I ... I could be the one to look after her sometimes, if you need a helper." Buffy said looking down at the fidgeting baby in her tiny arms. "Mom? Can I take care of her?"

Joyce smiled affectionately. "Yes, Buffy. You can take care of her."

"Wow, she’s the cutest baby I’ve ever seen." Exclaimed William from behind Buffy. He stepped closer to her to get a closer look at Dawn. His shoulder brushed Buffy’s as he moved.

Buffy frowned at his words, but said nothing. 'He thought Dawn was the cutest?!' She thought. Joyce then decided that it was time to put Dawn down for her nap. Too much excitement at one time could scare the newborn.

As soon as her mother took Dawn back, Buffy ran out the front door. William frowned and followed. She ran around the side of the house all the way around. The scrawny boy had to run to catch up with her. She was climbing up into the tree house that they shared in William’s back yard. He climbed as fast as his skinny legs would take him.

He found Buffy sitting up against the wall, hugging her knees as tightly as she could. He was confused and worried about her. "What’s wrong, Buffy."

When she wouldn’t talk or even look at him, he moved closer and took a seat next to her. "Please tell me what’s wrong, pet."

She finally looked with unshed tears in her eyes. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and began to speak. "Everybody thinks that Dawn’s so cute."

"Well, she is." William said to her gently. At this, Buffy tears came forth.

"You like her more than you like me." She sniffled, rubbing the tears that fell on her rosy cheeks away, hastily, leaving red marks on her face. Her eyes were all puffy and red and she looked so sad, that William’s heart broke for her.

"That’s not true." He said.

"Yuh-huh. You think that she’s cuter than me." She blubbered in between sobs.

"Buffy, I don’t think that Dawn’s cuter than you." He tried once again. He hoped she would believe him this time.

She looked up at him through tearful eyes, hopefully. "Really?" She asked tentatively.

"‘Course, luv. I think you’re very pretty." He reassured her, smiling.

Buffy returned his smile and lunged for him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him the biggest hug he ever had. "You’re my very bestest friend, Willy-yum, know that?"

William hugged her back, and smiled. "I know."

~*~*~*~


"So, Spike, I’ve been meaning to ask you," Xander began, taking a swig of his beer before continuing. "Why’d you do it, man?"

"Do what, whelp?" Spike asked, curiously.

"Pop the question. To Cordelia." Xander clarified. He reach over and stole one of the platinum blonde’s beer nuts. Spike immediately smacked his hand away, causing a few of the bowls contents to scatter onto the tabletop.

The two men who had become good friends since their days at Sunnydale High, were sitting at a table in the local club, The Bronze, enjoying a cold pint. Music blared loudly in their ears, from some unheard of local band that occupied the stage. They really couldn’t play worth shit, but living in a one Starbucks town like Sunnyhell, Spike couldn’t complain. At least it was music. Sort of.

"Seemed like the right thing to do at the time, is all." Spike shrugged, taking a sip of his own beer.

"And now? Does it still seem like the right thing?" Xander rattled off one question after another.

Spike gave him a piercing glare. He really wish that people would stop pestering him about the whole wedding thing. They all seemed to think that he was crazy for asking Cordy to marry him, but hey, he could marry whomever he wanted to-okay, so asking Cordy to marry him was quite a stretch, but it was better than nothing, right?

He and Cordy had been dating for over a year and a half now. Spike figured that if you were in a relationship for this long, people just started to expect you to get married. So he did it, he asked Cordy to be his wife. He knew deep down inside that it was probably wrong to marry someone that you don’t truly love, but hey, how did that old saying go? If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with. And since the woman he loved lived on the other side of the country, he figured it was time to move on. Why should he wait around forever? Buffy had obviously gotten over him a long time ago. She made that quite clear by dating that poncy soldier boy. He could move on too. Even if it was with Cordelia Chase...

"Xander." He warned.

"What? Don’t get me wrong, I mean, Cordy’s...well, she’s Cordy, but what happened to ‘Buffy-Summers-is-my-one-and-only-and-I’ll-never-love-again-guy?"

"Things Change." Spike replied, trying not to let Xander get any reaction out of him by saying her name.

"Yeah, right." The dark haired man of the two chuckled. Xander knew everything there was to know about the Buffy and Spike's relationship. He had known Buffy since they were in diapers and knew Spike for almost as long. He still remembered when they were introduced by the one friend they both have in common, Buffy. Xander knew Spike before he was Spike, when he was still the skinny little boy with thick glasses, who wrote sappy love poems and went by the name William. So needless to say, Xander knew Spike better than anyone. Well, almost anyone...

Spike looked at him suspiciously. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what it means, Caption Peroxide." He told him. "You’re still in love with her."

"Who?" Spike pretended that he didn’t know who Xander was referring to.

"BUFFY!" Xander almost shouted at his friend, like it was the most obvious thing in the world...mostly because it was. "Duh!"

"Xander, I would rather not talk about this." Spike tried. He really didn’t think this was the time to reminisce about lost loves, especially to the whelp.

"When will you? Spike you’re gonna have to face this thing sooner or later and being that Buffy will arrive in LA tomorrow, I would suggest that it be sooner rater than later."

"What are babbling about, whelp?" Spike asked, confused.

"Buffy will be here tomorrow. Her dad‘s picking ‘er and Dawn up from LA." Xander informed him, with an expression that clearly read ‘Duh!.’

"Why? Why is she coming ‘ere?" Spike sounded a little panicked. Buffy, his Buffy was coming home?

"Well, Cordy invited her to the wedding."

"Why the hell would she do that? Cordy hates Buffy." Spike reminded him. In high school the two girls never got alone. This was probably due to the fact that Cordy was the most popular girl in school and disliked anyone who wasn’t in her social group. Buffy wasn’t a nerd, but she certainly wasn’t anywhere near the status of ‘prom queen.’ At least on to everyone else‘s standards. Spike had always thought that she was the most stunning young woman he had ever met.

"Ohhh, so she didn’t tell you, huh?" Xander asked, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

"Out with it, already, Xander." The blonde man spat, knowing that Xander was stringing him along on purpose.

"Well, as you know, Mr. Summers got to keep the house after the divorce, and now he lives by himself." Xander started. Spike nodded. "Well, over spring break, Cordy’s aunt, who is like practically the same age as she is, came to visit her. You remember, don’tcha? She was the really tall one with dark hair and big boobs. Goes by the name of Cecily."

Spike chuckled. "Yeah, I remember. Crazy bint wouldn’t leave me the bloody ‘ell alone."

"That’s the one." Xander agreed, letting a chuckle escape past his own lips. "Anyway, guess who hooked up with Mrs. I-think-I can-get-any-guy-I want-to?"

"You’re shittin’ me!" Spike exclaimed, incredulously. He almost spat his drink right in the whelp’s face.

"I shit you not." Xander replied, popping a beer nut into his mouth, enjoying the salty trail it left on his moist tongue. "Hank asked her to marry him about three weeks ago. So when you think about it, Cordy and Buffy are almost cousins."

"Well, why didn’t she mention this to me before?" Spike asked, running his fingers through his bleached locks in an attempt to calm his nerves.

"She probably knew if she told you that she was inviting Buffy that you would wigg out." Xander informed him, seriously, knowing full well that’s exactly what Spike would do.

"But she had me fill out all the envelopes, I would have known if she invited Buffy." Spike said confused. His mind was reeling with this sudden development.

"You didn’t by any chance address one to New York, didcha?"

"Well, yeah." Spike sighed. "But Cordy has a lot of friends who live in New York. It could have been anybody. I never would have guessed it was B-Her."

He couldn’t even say the name. 'Yes I can. I just said it a bleedin’ moment ago. I can say B-Oh bloody hell! Now I can’t even think it!'

Xander just shrugged and took a large gulp of his beer, finishing off what was left in his bottle.

Spike’s mind was in overdrive. Buffy, his Buffy was coming to the wedding. How could he see her after all this time? What would he say? She had been his best friend back in high school. She was his everything. And she would be arriving in Sunnydale tomorrow to watch him marry another woman in two weeks. When did things get to be so bloody complicated? Spike asked himself. Hell, if you would have asked him two years ago who he was going to marry, he would have said... 'I would have said Buffy. '

"Bloody hell!" He exclaimed, downing the rest of his own beer now. That’s what he’d do, drink himself into oblivion. That would make him forget about those big beautiful hazel eyes and those soft lips. That shiny shampoo commercial hair that bounced whenever she walked. Oh, and the way she looked in the heat of passion, all covered in sweat and panting, her beautiful face flushed, eyes darkened with uncontrollable lust. Oh, Bloody hell...

"Come on, mate. I’ll buy you another pint." He said to Xander.

Yep, getting real good and sloshed would make him forget about her. If only for a few hours...

So, whatcha think? Still with me?

‘Pieces of You’


By: Saltygoodness


Summary: Buffy and Will have been best friends for all of their life. When Buffy is forced to move to New York, they share one passionate night together that changes everything. What will happen when they meet up three years later for Will’s wedding?


Rating: R


Disclaimer: Obviously, the characters in this story are not mine. They are the property of Joss Whedon, UPN, Mutant Enemy, etc. I own nothing except for the stories that I write to help my Spuffy obsessed self sleep at night.


Feedback: Please. I love it, need it, and it helps get the wheels in my head turning. Tell me what you think. Pretty please with chocolate covered Spike on top.


If you love the Spuffiness, the Spuffiness will love you back...


________________________________________________________________________







10 Years Ago, Sunnydale:

"So, Buffy, do you wanna come o’er my house after school? We can play with my new doll house again." Willow said as she walked to lunch with her best friend.

"Sure. I just have to let my mom know first." Buffy answered, her honey blonde hair bouncing with every step.

"Cool. It’s your turn to be the mother this time. I’ll be the little girl." The red head informed her.

They both smiled simultaneously, and entered the cafeteria. Their eyes searched for their three best friends. They spotted Xander’s eager hand waving them over to one of the lunch tables where he, Will, and Tara were sitting and proceeded towards them.

"Hey, guys." Buffy greeted, taking a seat next to Will. Willow followed her example, sitting down beside Xander.

Xander gave a dramatic curtsy, and went back to eating his lunch. Tara just gave a shy smile, which Buffy returned, and Will...barely acknowledged that she was there! What? That can’t be right.

Buffy frowned. What was his problem?

"So, what’re you guys doing tonight?" Xander asked, taking a bite of some undistinguishable brown matter that was supposed to pass for hamburger meat. Buffy watched him, and crinkled her brow slightly in disgust. She never ate lunch in school. Her mommy would always take her out somewhere special to eat when she got home, like McDonalds or Burger King.

"Buffy’s coming over to my house to play dolls." Willow answered cheerfully.

Buffy heard Will give a snort at that and elbowed him roughly in the ribs. He just slid farther from her and said nothing.

Willow glanced up at Tara and smiled.

"You can come too. I-I mean, only if you want to." She stuttered, unsure. Tara looked surprised and overjoyed to be invited. She was finally starting to feel like one of the ‘Scoobies,’ as they called themselves.

"O-of course, I’ll come." She smiled sweetly. It seemed to ease some of the tension in the red-head’s body. Tara was glad.

After a few minutes of socializing with her friends, Buffy was quiet. Will had been acting weird all week and she had no idea why. He barely talked to her anymore, and when he did, he was mean to her. She didn’t understand boys at all. She was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard a raspy whisper come from said boy.

"Buffy!" He murmured urgently as her friends kept on talking, not hearing him. She continued to look straight ahead. If he could be mean, then so can she. She wouldn’t talk to him. "Buffy!"

She turned her head to look at him, giving him a questioning look. Her head was still lowered, and she noticed that he was trying to pass her a piece of paper. She frowned at him, but reached out quickly and took the offered note. The young Englishman then turned his attention immediately back on his tray in front of him, as if nothing had happened, and Buffy unfolded the note.

"Buffy..." it began, and the blonde girl was instantly absorbed into William’s slender cursive writing. He really had pretty handwriting, she thought. She continued to read and smiled slightly when she read the next line. "Do you like me?"

The petite blonde girl quickly checked the yes box that he had drawn on the paper and passed it back. She watched him as he read her answer.

Will looked at the message and then at her, but she looked away, shyness evident in her eyes. He scribbled something else underneath what she wrote and slide the folded piece of paper across the table, back to her.

Buffy unfolded the note once more and read it.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

Will watched his best friend out of the corner of his eyes. He saw a collage of emotions pass through her features, and heard his heart thumped wildly in his chest. She looked like she was in deep thought, before smiling, and writing her answer. He then watched as she finished, before folding the paper and handing it back to him. He hurriedly unfolded the note and searched for her response. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he looked up to find her smiling at him.

There scribbled lightly on the crinkled piece of notebook paper was a single word in blue ink.



"Okay."



~*~*~*~


One week later, nine year old Buffy Summers watched the clock on the wall, waiting for the bell to ring. She wanted school to be over for the day so she could see William. Having a boyfriend was cool! All her friends thought that she was the coolest girl in the entire third grade because her boyfriend was a manly fourth grader. Plus, she really liked William. He was smart and funny and cute, in his own way. He was always nice to her and sat next to her at lunch and always shared his twinkies with her. She thought he was the best boyfriend ever. But what she liked most was that they were best friends before they became boyfriend-girlfriend.

Suddenly the ear-piercing ringing of the bell sounded and all the students hurried out of the room. Buffy grabbed her backpack from her respective cubby and preceded to follow the movement of her fellow classmates into the crowded hallway. She searched the crowd for any sign of her friends, standing on her tip toes to see over the different colored heads around her. Finally spotting Willow, she began to made her way through the hoards of over-sugared children, practically bouncing off the walls.

"Hey, Wills." Buffy addressed her friend, evidence that school was done, a smile on her pink lips.

"Oh, hey Buff. I didn’t even see you in all that mess." She squealed, excitedly. Buffy laughed.

" So, where’s the gang?" She asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. Willow knew better, though.

"You mean, where’s your b/f?" She responded, grinning.

"Well, him too." Buffy chuckled, shifting the heavy backpack from one shoulder to the other.

"Need some help, pet?" Came a familiar voice from behind Buffy, making her jump in surprise. "Jumpy."

She turned around and smiled at William. His sparkling icy blue orbs looked a shade darker than usual, Buffy noticed. It must have been the baby blue dress shirt he wore, which always made them stand out.

"Hi, Will. Xander." She greeted as the darker haired boy came up behind William. He waved in reply.

"So, you guys doing anything? We could all go see a movie or somethin’." Willow suggested, as the three friends made their way out of the school building, in perfect sync, like they had done it a million times.

"Yeah, I hear there’s a new pirate movie out that’s reeaalllyy good." Xander said, drawing out his ‘really’ for emphasis.

"Oh, I can’t tonight. My mom and dad want me to come home straight after school. They want to talk to me about my grades." Buffy said, disappointed. She was going to be in trouble. She just knew it. She had brought home two F’s the other day and her mother was furious. Plus, she was also failing math.

"Well, how ‘bout you, Will? You up for some one-eyed, hook wearing, pirate fun?" Xander asked.

"I don’ think so. My da said he needs to talk to me ‘bout some' in important. Don’t know what, though." He replied, glancing over in time to see Buffy look up at him thoughtfully. He knew that she knew that he was making excuses. If she wasn’t going, then neither was he, and since they lived next door to each other, chances were that their parents would let them play.

Buffy smiled. She knew he was lying. His father didn’t have anything important to talk to him about and she knew it. He just wanted to stay at home and try to con her mother out of grounding her for the rest of her life, so she could play with him. But hey, she wasn’t complaining!

"Oh, well, I guess it looks like it’s just you an’ me, Wills." Xander said, smiling at the red head beside him.

"Looks like." She replied, smiling right back. "Maybe we could see if Tara wants to come with us."

"Sure thing." The dark-haired agreed, clasping red-headed best friend’s hand in his.

"See you guys later." They both called in unison, running off.

"Bye."

"Later Red, Whelp."

The other two continued on their way home in silence.


~*~*~*~


Buffy awoke to a rather loud ‘thud’ outside her window. She jumped up in bed, startled out of slumber and looked in the direction of which it came. The room was pitch black and she had to squint to make out the shadow of a lone figure outside her bedroom window. She had no idea who it was and was just about to call to her mom, when she heard a light tapping on the glass, followed by a very British voice calling her name softly.

She threw the covers back unceremoniously and stumbled out of her warm bed. She walked over to the window as quietly as she could, as to not wake her mom or dad. When she reached her destination, she flung it open and peered out to a sprawled out William on her rooftop.

"What are you doin’ here, Will?" She asked, shivering slightly as the cool night air wrapped itself around her body, leaving a cold sensation on her skin. The nightgown she wore was thin and did nothing to ward off the offending cold.

"I was sneakin’ up to you room to see you and I fell." He explained, standing slowly, careful not to slip again. "You know how bloody hard it is to climb that?"

Buffy’s gaze followed to where his finger pointed at the large tree that almost grew over top the roof.

"You climbed all the way up here?" She shrieked.

"Shh! Don’t wanna wake your mum and da, do ya?" Will chided, putting a finger up to his lips. Buffy smiled sheepishly and muttered a shy apology.

"’S’okay." He whispered softly. "Sorry I woke you up."

"That’s okay." Buffy whispered back.

"I just wanted to give you this." He explained, hold out his hand to her. There, dangling from his slender fingers, was a long silver chain, swinging back and forth from his sudden movement. A shimmer of light reflected of the shiny metal, the streetlamp shining down one it. Attached to the beautiful chain was a small trinket. Buffy’s eyes adjusted to the poor lighting and were able to make out a little silver heart with a stake piecing it. It was the most beautiful necklace she had ever seen.

"Will," She gasped. "Where’d you get that?"

"It was my mum’s. My real mum..." He trailed off. Buffy just stared at the small boy in front of her. Her boyfriend.

"I want you to ‘ave it." He told her smiling. He had waited all week to work up the courage to finally give to her. Then he just suddenly felt brave enough at 2:00 in the morning, so he snuck out past his parents’ and Angel’s rooms, out the house, up her tree and here he was.

"I can’t take that, Will. It was your mom’s." His smile faded.

"Wha’? Why not?"

"Because, it was your mother’s and it wouldn’t be right to give it to me." She said, leaning on the windowpane, staring him in the eyes.

"But I want you to have it." He tried to make her understand.

"Why?" She asked, curious.

"‘Cause you’re my girlfriend." He said simply. He watched as her face lit up, and her lips broke out into a wide smile. He couldn’t help but smile back as she watched him place the necklace in her tiny hand. Her fingers closed around it and she looked back up at him.

"I’ll keep it safe." She promised. "Always."

He said nothing, but rather reached up and brushed a stray lock of sun-kissed hair away from her eyes. Yep, he was the best boyfriend in the world, Buffy thought.

______________________________________________________________________

Chapter Six: One of These Days



"Buffy, honey, can you please send down your dirty laundry?" Joyce called, standing at the base of the stairs that lead to the second story. Her pitch was loud enough that her voice would carry up to her eldest daughter’s room.

"Sure, mom." She heard Buffy reply, right before the hum of the dumbwaiter descending down it’s narrow shaft sounded through the air. The noise stopped abruptly, and Joyce tugged on the smaller door, lifting it to peer inside. A huge pile of dirty clothes littered the smaller version of an elevator.

"One of these days, they’re going to start doing their own laundry." She breathed, heaving the clothing into her lime green clothes basket, and shutting the door. She had started to do her daughters chores around the house in order to make the change of location easier on them. It was one less thing for the two young girls to worry about, and she felt like she was doing the right thing, but here she was three years later, still doing it.

"One of these days.." She repeated, sighing heavily, and continuing on her daily ritual of never-ending house work.

~*~*~*~

Buffy sat, sprawled out comfortably on her bed trying to study for her finals which she would have to take upon returning from the wedding. A blue book lay open in front of her, and several sharpened number two pencils were scattered around her body like her own little Berlin wall. Unfortunately, it did nothing to make her feel any safer.

She knew she couldn’t run from her past forever. She knew that she would have to face up to things sooner or later. She knew that she would have to see him again someday. She just really wished that day wasn’t anywhere near as close as tomorrow evening.

Her flight left New York tomorrow afternoon around two, and would arrive in Los Angeles around five. Her father was scheduled to pick her and Dawn up at a quarter after. Buffy’s mother had a very important series of meetings for her gallery all week and would not be able to fly out until the day of the wedding. Until then, Buffy and Dawn were to stay with their absentee father and his new fiance. Things could not get any worst.

But knowing how her life always turned out, Buffy knew that they were bound to. It was like her guarantee or something. Always bad luck for Buffy. Yep, that was how it always happened. She also knew that going to a wedding in which the groom is the ’love of your life’ and the bride was the ’evil bitch monster of death’ was definitely of the bad.

She had contemplated not going, but Dawn wouldn’t hear of it. The feisty raven haired teenager could have quite the temper when need be. She had specifically stated that if Buffy didn’t attend Spike’s wedding, that she would "pull out your rip cage and wear it as a hat." Buffy wondered when her baby sister became so scary.

"Arraaggghhh!" The blonde yelled, slamming her English lit book closed for good measure. She rolled over onto her back and stared up at her ceiling. Tiny glow-in-the-dark stars defied gravity as they stuck almost magically above her head with some kind of cheep paste. The light from the outside Manhattan sky shone through, preventing them from actually ‘glowing’.

The blonde sighed heavily.

"This is going to be the longest two weeks in my life." She muttered, pulling a pillow over her face, hoping to drown out the outside world of complications.

~*~*~*~

________________________________________________________________________
A/N: I know, not a whole lot happening in this chapter. Sorry, it just felt like a little reflection time, I guess. Thanks for the reviews. Please keep 'em comin'.

Chapter Seven: Wild Monkeys

Unfortunately, Spike’s plan to drink himself into forgetting Buffy only made him think of her more. By his fifth beer, he had began to ramble on and on to Xander about Buffy and the soldier boy, and how they were "probably shagging right now." He was way drunk and when he was drunk, his bitter, jealousl side shone. Luckily Cordelia hadn’t showed up at the Bronze to witness him in his drunken state and hear him rant and rave about the love of his life and shagging soldier boys. She would undoubtedly have been deeply confused.

Now past midnight, Spike’s house was completely pitch black as he unlocked the front door and let himself in. He sighed with contentment, just wanting to crash for the night. Today had been a really long day. What he needed was a good night’s sleep...and to stop thinking about Buffy Summers, but that was beside the point.

He stumbled over some undistinguishable item on his living room floor, almost falling flat on his face. As he was bumbling to steady himself, he threw his arms out, waving them wildly in the air, trying to grasp anything to keep him from tumbling over. Fortunately, his hand hit the coffee table and he was able to regain control of himself. He sighed in relief...falling on his face right before his wedding was definitely ‘of the bad.’

Dammit! He was beginning to think like Buffy now. He groaned, frustrated that he couldn’t stop thinking about her. She was like that annoying little song that you couldn’t get out of your head, and desperately wished you could; except she wasn’t annoying, and he didn’t want to get her out of his mind.

"Arrrgggghh!" He growled, tugging off his duster and throwing it on what he hoped was the couch. He couldn’t really see to be sure, he couldn‘t see a damn thing. He staggered dizzily to his dark bedroom. Once he reached his bed, he flopped down onto the firm mattress haphazardly, enjoying the way the tension in his tired body diminished and a feeling of tranquility washed over him.

Suddenly a warm hand wormed it’s way around to his ass, giving it a gentle squeeze, and causing Spike to jump back so far that he nearly fell out of bed.

"Hey, sexy." Cordelia’s voice pierced the silence of the dark room.

"Cordelia! What the fuck are you trying to do, give me a heart attach?!" He cursed, panting heavily. He reached up to put a hand over his rapidly beating heart, as if to will it to steady itself.

"Oh, I’m sorry baby, didn’t mean to scare you." She apologized, her warm breath on his ear, sending a slight tremor through him.

"What’re you doing ’ere?" He asked, exasperated as he turned to face her. Her chocolate brown eyes glistered in the eerie light from the window, and her dark hair hung in loose curls around her head. Her plump lips were painted a dark shade of red, and when she smiled her teeth shone a perfect white.

"Well, visiting my fiance... that okay?" She answered, slightly annoyed with his reaction.

"Sorry, pet. I’m tired, it all. I just need a night’s rest and I’ll feel much better."

"Or... we could do other things." She hinted seductively. She then leaned forward and took his earlope between her blunt teeth and began sucking on it teasingly. Spike sucked in a breath of air, and groaned at the contact. This wasn’t really what he had in mind.

"Cordy, luv, I’m not really in the mood." He told her, as he gently pushed her away.

"Well, why not?!" She barked. "Spike, we’re engaged. We’re allowed to have sex." She explained calmly, smiling sweetly at him. Then her smile faded into a look of pure irritation and she went back to shouting at him.

"So if I wanna fuck like wild monkeys, then Goddamn it, we’re gonna fuck like wild monkeys, got it?!"

Spike’s blue eyes only stared at her dark brown ones, trying to figure out why he was marrying this woman. Oh, yeah, now he remembered... To try to get over the one girl he wanted, but couldn’t have.

When he didn’t answer, she reached over and slid her hands down his black-clad chest. She felt the muscles ripple beneath her fingertips and smiled appreciatively. He said nothing more, but only watched her as she began her invasion. Her hands slowly creped down into the waistband of his jeans, and grasped his hardening cock.

Spike wanted to tell her to stop, he really did, but the high level of alcohol in his system clouded his mind and he didn’t have the strength to push her off. All he really wanted to do right now was pass out and sleep it off. He knew that in the morning he would probably have one killer hangover and waking up next to the brown haired seductress would more than likely only add to his pain. Also, if Buffy was arriving in town tomorrow, he could possibly run into her, being that her father still lived next door to him. But hey, maybe having wild monkey sex with Cordelia was a better idea. He was sure he’d get the beautiful blonde off his mind this way.

"Wild monkeys, eh?" He asked, his trademark smirk in place.

~*~*~*~

While a couple of wild monkeys played into the early dawn, a tiny blonde girl lay awake in her bed. A pleasant smell of lemon and honey filled the spacious bedroom, and a street lamp near the windows left a soft golden light shine in. The room was pitch black and the tiny plastic stars glowed with an intensity matched only by a love for a man that burned in the girl’s heart.

Buffy rolled over onto her side and growled in frustration. Her eyes landed on the radio clock that sat on her nightstand. The bright red numbers left the tiniest glimmer in her hazel orbs. A loud sigh escaped her lips when she realized that it was nearly three in the morning. There was no way she would be able to face Spike if she was exhausted and half asleep.

With a huff, she threw the covers back and climbed out of bed. Quietly, she began to pace the length of her bedroom. Burning holes into the carpet always helped her think more clearly. 'Don’t think about Spike. Don’t think about Spike.' She chanted mentally, willing herself to do this, that. It was no use, though. It seemed the more she tried to rid him from her mind, the more she thought about him. 'It doesn’t matter if he’s getting married to that vapid whore. You’re over him. You really are! Yep, so making with the over-Spike-ness.' But there was the tiniest voice in the back of her mind that told her she was lying.

"Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn!" She whispered hastily. She threw her hands up in the air, exasperated. Why couldn’t she get that bleached moron out of her mind? It had been years since she’d even heard from him, let alone seen him, why should she be obsessing over this? This was no big deal. She could handle this. 'Yep, keep telling yourself that, Buff.' That pesky in voice chimed in. 'Shut up! I said I’m over him, and I am. Great, now I’m arguing with myself.'

She just had to find something to take her mind off of her ex. Something to keep her busy. Anything. She looked around for something to occupy her time. Her head whipped around furiously, blonde hair swinging from her right shoulder to her left. She smiled with satisfaction, when she spotted her forgotten English Literature book. That’s what she would do. Homework would make her forget all about William Giles.

Buffy walked over to her book shelf and grabbed the book. Sitting back down on her bed, she made herself a comfortable as possible and placed the hardcover book on her knees, tilting it so her eyes could make out the printed words in the darkness. Once she was satisfied with her spot, she cracked open the book to a random page and started to read a passage.

Soon she realized that she had read almost twenty pages, and she had absolutely no idea what they were about. Her mind was just to preoccupied with other things right now. She couldn’t concentrate on anything other than the fact that the man that she used to love, still loved, was getting married to another woman, who wasn’t her.

Slamming the cover shut, she exhaled noisily. Closing her eyes, and focusing, she counted from one to ten slowly. When she opened her eyes, though, thoughts of the platinum blonde still plagued her mind. 'Don’t think about Spike. Don’t think about Spike.'

Spike. Spike. Spike.

"Arrggghhh! Dammit!" She uttered. She just wanted to go to bed and never wake up, but she figured that was probably not an option. She put the book gently down next to her clock on the nightstand, deciding to try to sleep once more. Lying back on the mattress, she pulled the covers around her petite frame and snuggle deeper for warmth. Just as she was about give in to the heaviness of her eyelids, a small silver glint caught her eye.

A genuine smile slowly spend across her face as she stared at the silver chain and trinket. The long chain swayed from side to side slightly, causing light to reflect off of it. The miniature heart with a stake through it hung low to her desk. The necklace holder held every kind of chain, in every kind of silver and gold, but nothing compared to the beautiful silver necklace that Spike had given her so long ago.

Compared to Spike’s mother’s necklace, the others were worthless. Buffy still remembered the exact day on which he had given it to her. She recalled him standing on the landing outside of her bedroom window, hand extended proudly, the necklace dangling from his nimble fingers. She had kept it all these years, never once even thinking about selling or pawning it. It held too much value for any old broker’s shop.

Buffy reached out to touch the trinket, fingering it lightly. She loved the way the metal always felt cool to her skin. It was refreshing to her; So smooth, and shiny, glistening with sheer beauty. She loved so many things about it. Its smooth texture, its feel, its value... but most of all, she loved how it always made her think of Spike. Even when she was trying to forget about him.

"God, I wonder what he’s doing right now?" She wondered aloud, entranced by the piece of jewelry.

~*~*~*~

"Oh, God! God, Spike, annhhuuhh. YES!" Cordy screamed as she came, thrashing her head wildly on the pillow beneath it. Her body was glistening with sweat and she was panting heavily. Her eyes were shut tightly, and her face was contorted in a look of pure pleasure.

Spike gave a few more hard thrusts before his own orgasm racked through his body. He buried his face into her neck and mumbled some undistinguishable name. He pushed off with his arms and rolled onto his back, eyes closed. His breathing was rough and his lean stomach and chest were covered in sweat.

Cordy watched the man next to her for a moment, before getting up to take a shower. Stopping at the bedroom entrance, she turned around and looked at the now sleeping form of her fiance. Her face remained still and calm on the outside, but on the inside, she was boiling with rage. She could have swore she heard him say Buffy...

~*~*~*~

Don’t kill me! Please?! *ducks under a table to avoid sharp objects flying through the air* Hey, who threw that?! Just bare with me okay? I promise on the Holy Spuffiness that I am all for the Spike and Buffy action. It’s coming. You just have to be patient. Sorry for the long wait. Family really sucks the inspiration right out of you.

Love to all,

~Saltygoodness~

Chapter Eight: Dreaming

10 years ago, Sunnydale:

"Do you wanna kiss me?"

"What?"

"I said, do you wanna kiss me?"

"Why would you ask that?"

"‘Cause we’re girlfriend and boyfriend. We should kiss."

"Well, I don’t know...do you wanna kiss me?"

"Maybe. Do you?"

"Maybe."

"Well, do it already!"

"Okay, okay. You’re one bossy lil’ chit, you know that, right?"

Buffy just let a sweet smile wash over her features at the comment. She and Will were sitting high up in the tree house, like they did everyday after school let out, doing homework together. The cute couple were joined at the hip ever since they had become girlfriend and boyfriend. Willow, Xander, and Tara hardly ever saw them outside of class anymore. Everyone, including their parents, thought that it was the most adorable thing in the world.

Will had been thoroughly surprised when the blonde had suddenly asked him if he wanted to kiss her. That was the last thing he expected to hear when she opened her mouth to speak to him. Not that he hadn’t thought about kissing her, because God only knew that if he put as much thought into his schoolwork as he did into kissing Buffy, he would be the valedictorian by the time he graduated. He remembered a time not so long ago that he had sworn to himself that he would never have a girlfriend. Boy’s, had things changed for him since he met Buffy. And things were even better now that she was his girlfriend and didn’t have that gross crush on his older step-brother now. Now, she was all his.

Balancing his weight on his arms, he leant forward slowly, until the two blondes were almost touching noses. Hazel eyes locked with blue, as the first contact was made. Their lips pressed together gently, and both of their bodies went rigid. Buffy had no idea what she was doing, so she just continue to stare into the very widened eyes of William, hoping against all hope that she was doing this right.

Will wondered if he was doing this right. He had seen enough of his mum’s movies to know that they were supposed to close their eyes when they kissed, but he was so nervous he couldn’t bring himself to move. Buffy’s lips were soft and warm and they tasted like sweet, red strawberries. He suspected that she was wearing some fruit flavored lip gloss and almost smiled into the kiss. She was the coolest girlfriend ever!

Minutes passed and air became an issue. The two blondes finally pulled apart and let go of the breath they didn’t know they were holding. Buffy was the first to reign control of her breathing. She looked up to find Will staring at her intently. She smiled a slightly nervous smile, which he returned.

"That was kinda nice." She commented, cheerfully.

"Yeah." He agreed, bobbing his head up and down to show his approval.

"Wanna go steal some cookies out of my mom’s cookie jar?" She asked suddenly, changing the subject just as abruptly as she had brought it up.

"Sure." Will replied. "Let’s go." They stood and begun to make their way down the old wooden ladder and back down to earth.

~*~*~*~

"You’re dumping me?!" Buffy exclaimed incredously, her hazel eyes wide and mouth hanging open in shock.

"Yeah." Will replied, sheepishly. He really didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but well, he just wanted to be her friend again.

"But, why?" The petite blonde asked, trying not to cry. She had promised herself that she wouldn’t cry in front of him. She was almost ten years old, she wouldn’t cry in front of stupid William Giles.

"Because Dru broke up with Peaches, and now she wants to go with me." He explained, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"B-but you were the one who wanted to be my boyfriend!" She said, feeling bile rise in the back of her throat. She felt like she was about to throw up any minute now.

"I know, but now I just want us to be friends again." Will answered, trying to be as cool as possible. After all, he did have a reputation to uphold as a fourth grader.

Buffy was seriously pissed off. She felt like saying every bad word she had ever heard her mommy or daddy use-maybe even a couple British ones she learnt from Giles. She thought that Will really liked her. She sure as heck really liked him. She thought he was the coolest thing since sliced bread- with his really weird way of words and his funny accent. But now she saw that all he was, was a big poophead.

So she told him. "You’re such a poophead, Will!" She yelled. "I wish I never met you!" She burned to walk away from the boy looking at her.

"Well, you don’ need to get your knickers in a twist. I was just saying..." Will trailed off, trying to find the right words as to not look stupid in front the large crowd of boys and girls watching the two blondes fight it out. "Dru s’not as whiny as you are."

Buffy stopped dead in her tracks. He had just called her whiny. Her! She wasn’t the whiny one, he was! How dare he say mean things about her. And if front of a bunch of fourth and fifth graders no less. She turned around and glanced over at the group of popular kids, eyeing them intensely. She smiled evilly, forming a plan. With a stature of determination in her stride, Buffy marched swiftly back over to her former boyfriend.

He had that smug look on his face. That look of achievement he got whenever he knew he had won. Buffy was determined to whip that look right off his annoying little face. When she reached her destination, the petite blonde reached out and quickly snatched the tan frames off of Will’s nose.

"Hey! Give ‘em, you stupid bint!" Will yelled. He really hated it when she did this to him. He was almost completely blind without them, and often tripped over various items in his path. He realized that he probably looked like a complete jackass to everyone watching them, and grew more frustrated by the minute. His long arms were held straight out in front of him, flapping around wildly. Buffy was so gonna get it! "I can’t see a thing!"

"Apologize." She said simply. She refused to be made a fool out of in front of everyone, especially by Will. She would see to it that he was the only one that came out of the situation embarrassed.

"Buffy." He sighed in exhaustion. He sent a silent prayer up to anyone who might be listening, that he didn’t fall on his ass.

"Apologize." She repeated more firmly, unaffected by his state of desperation.

"Oh, alright, m’sorry." Will finally gave in to her demands. Upon hearing this, Buffy shoved the glasses into his chest and turned to stomp away. Will placed the thick frames back onto his face, and all the world came rushing back. A sigh of relief escaped his lips. He catch sight of a retreating form and watched as his former girlfriend and best friend of four years walked away from him in a fury of anger.

~*~*~*~

Buffy awoke with a start. It took a moment for her to realize that she had been dreaming. About Sunnydale. About Spike. And what a dream it was! Her first kiss, their first break up. Those events had happened so many years ago, so many miles away from New York. Sunnydale seemed like a fantasy place from one of her romance novels. Surely, such a place couldn’t really exist, could it? Everything that she and her circle of friends went through, every movie they ever watched, every song they every danced to, every kiss from the man she loved; It couldn’t really have ended so abruptly as her life in Sunnydale did. Buffy had no idea how she ended up where she was now.

On a flight to Los Angeles Airport.

She moved slightly to the left, trying to ease the pressure of her weight on her bottom. Plane seats have to be the worst seats ever to be invented. She thought. They were only a half hour into the flight, and already her muscles were starting to cramp. Her shoulders had as much tension as humanly possible, and her lower back ached from the slope of the back of the semi-cushioned seat.

Glancing out the small window at her side, she stared at the left wing of the plane. She felt the rumbling of the engines, it made the floor vibrate, and sent tiny tremors up the soles of her feet and into her calves. A gently purring could be heard, and the sound seemed to set her troubled mind at ease.

Somewhat.

"You alright?" Buffy turned to look at the seat adjacent to her, at the sound of her sister’s voice. Dawn seemed to notice to distress and was eager to help her older sister. Her big blue eyes were filled with worry and a frown marred her features.

"Fine." Buffy choked out, voice haggard from sleep. She saw the unconvinced look on her sister’s face and managed a halfhearted smile. Dawn didn’t buy it.

"You were dreaming about him, weren’t you?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

Buffy sighed, knowing full well who ‘him’ was. Her sister was getting way too smart for her own good. "Can’t get anything by you, can I?"

"Not likely." Dawn smiled, realizing that this wasn’t going to be a tough one to crack. Her sister caved so easily, it didn’t take very much effort on her part.

"I just...I don’t know how I’m supposed to act when I see him again. I mean, it’s been three years." She confessed, hoping that talking to Dawn would help. She would have had this conversation with her mom, except that she wasn’t flying in until the day before the wedding. She had two weeks full of meetings and art shows for her gallery. She and Dawn were to stay with their father and his new fiance. Buffy wasn’t happy to say the least.

"What if he doesn’t want to see me?" She asked suddenly, realizing that going back to Sunnydale might have been a mistake.

"Of course he wants to see you, Buffy. Relax." Dawn urged, hoping to get her sister to chill out. A Buffy-wigg-fest would not be a good thing right now. But by the look on the blonde’s face, Dawn knew that was exactly what was coming.

"That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one going to your best friend’s wedding, after finding out that he is marrying the most vapid bitch to every walk Sunnydale High’s hallways, who has tormented you and him for most of your high school years, and who is now practically your cousin, and marrying the man you always thought you would marry, and did I mention that plane rides scare me?" By the end of her babble, Buffy had no breath left and was panting heavily.

"Geez, worry much?" Dawn asked, sarcasm dripping from her voice. She quirked an eyebrow at her older sister, letting her know that she really needed to get a grip.

Buffy let out a heavy sigh and closed her eyes tightly. She envisioned the object of her affection in her mind’s eye and a ghost of a smile formed on her face. He really was the most handsome man she had ever laid eyes on. And he was hers. Maybe not now, but he used to be-even if it was just for one night, he had been hers. And Buffy was okay with that. She was glad that she had been blessed enough to have someone like Spike in her life. And she loved him, probably always would. Even if he didn’t love her anymore.

She stayed like that for a few more moments, just envisioning him. The sharp angular cheek bones and pale skin. The bleached hair and leather duster. The devilish smirk and penetrating blue eyes. God, did she have it bad.

Buffy almost laughed when she thought back to her dream. They were so young and everything seemed so vital and dramatic then. Popularity and acceptance from all the other children were the most important things in the world to a nine and ten year old. If they would break up with someone now for the reason of "she’s not as whiny as you," well, let’s just say that it wouldn’t go very well.

She remembered how a week after their ‘tragic’ break-up, Willow and Xander would finally get her and Spike to talk again. They were the best of friends again, despite Drusilla being Spike’s girlfriend. And when her parents became aware of her mental condition a month later, Buffy kept Spike company when Drusilla had to go away to visit a ‘special doctor’.

Friends always stuck together.

When she finally opened her eyes again, she felt a little better. Her heart was still slamming in her chest, but no longer did she have the sudden sickening feeling to vomit all over the plane. I can do this. I can do this. She repeated over and over in her head, wishing she felt as confident as her thoughts did. She was finally going to the only place she could every call home. Sunnydale. And she was finally going to see the only person who could ever steal her heart. Spike.

"You alright?" She heard Dawn ask, worriedly. She just nodded her answer and went back to staring out the window.

'I can do this. I can do this.' She chanted silently. But somewhere a little nagging voice in the back of her mind, whispered back to her chanting.

'You so can’t do this.'

________________________________________________________________________

Short and sweet, cause I got tons of homework to do. Please review!

Hugs and kisses,

~Saltygoodness~

Five years ago, Sunnydale:

Dressed in black from head to toe, little Buffy Summers stood alone on the damp grass of her front yard. Her beautiful blonde hair pulled tightly back in a french braid away from her face as it clung to her head in a wet mixture of rain and hair spray. Her normally tanned face looked pale and flushed in the darkened skylight, and her hazel eyes, once so fully of life, looked empty and void of all emotion.

The wind ruffled a few strands of hair that had managed to escape the confines of the black hair tie. A thick, gray cloud hung over her head, swallowing the small town of Sunnydale into a gloomy darkness. It was that pregnant moment in which the sky would decide if it would allow rain to fall or not. But Buffy didn't notice this. She was too lost in her own thoughts, that were even gloomier than the settling obscurity.

A few drops of rain splattered here and there, cautiously, as if testing the ground first. They darkened the cool concrete to another indescribable shade of oatmeal, and Buffy’s hair to a dirty blonde. Thunder boomed loudly through the heavens, rumbling it for thousands of miles. The petite girl did not pay notice to this, either, though, and remained still in the rain.

"Buffy, dear, you ready to go?" Her mother asked, putting a gentle, reassuring hand on her eldest daughter’s shoulder. "You don’t want to be late, do you?"

Buffy finally looked up from her shoes, and gave her mother a worried glance. "What do I say to William, mom?" She asked, needing direction from someone.

"I’m not sure, honey. Just be there for him. He needs you, okay?"

Buffy nodded and grasped her mother’s hand tightly. She was lead down the sidewalk and to a big black car that had chrome that glistened in the heavy rain fall. Buffy’s attention was drawn to the purple flag attached to the front antenna on the hood. It waved violently in the wind, and made a slapping sound, as it hit the thin metal that held it in it’s place. ‘Funeral’ it read in large bold print. God, how Buffy hated that word right now.

"Rain, rain go away. Come again another day." An approaching voice sing-songed behind Buffy and her mother. They turned to see who it was.

"Dawn Marie Summers!" Buffy’s mother scolded her. "What on earth do you think you’re doing, singing at a time like this?!"

Dawn at least had the decency to look ashamed, and gave her mother and older sister an apologetic look. "But it’s rain' in, momma, and I want it ‘t stop." She responded with such innocence, that the older woman caved and instantly felt bad about snapping at her. She kept forgetting that Dawn was so young and didn’t understand what had really happened.

"I know, baby. But now’s not the time to be singing about such things. The Giles family needs for us to be strong and help them get through this tough time." Joyce explained gently, hoping that her youngest was processing what she was telling her.

"I’m sorry. I won’t sing no more. I want to help the Gileses out too." She recanted, smiling an naive smile, one that could only belong to little Dawnie Summers.

"It’s okay, sweetie. Now go get in the car, you’re gonna chat cold." Her mother chided her, light-heartedly.

Dawn raced past then to the waiting car, wanting to get a seat by the window. She too, was dressed in the darkest shade of black to be found in a crayon box. Her new noir strap-on Mary-Janes clicked with each step she took. Oddly full of energy for such a saddening event, the eight year old did not fully understand the meaning of the word death, as to pay the proper respect to lost loved ones.

But Buffy knew. She understood what dying meant. She knew it meant that you would never wake up to the alarm clock every morning, or brush your hair with your favorite brush that was given to you as a gift. It meant there would be no more fun days, in which children would laugh and act as children do, screaming at the top of their lungs and running about. It meant that you would never drink fruit punch ever again, or laugh, or cry, or yawn. No, Jenny would never do any of these things ever again.

She was dead.

~*~*~*~

With a name like Sunnydale, you would think that the town never saw a single cloud in the sky- and on a normal day, no one would. The Californian sky was usually filled with laughter, like a little child at the fair, during most of the year. So clear and sunny, with lovely streaks of blue and white. It painted a never-ending canvas of happiness for all to see, on a normal day. But this was not a normal day.

Today the thick clouds rolled in like huge tsunamis, thrashing wildly about, spreading it’s gloom for miles. Dreadful and gray, they were, like big puffs of rain-filled marshmallows, sticking together so closely that nearly all the sun’s rays were hidden from view.

The weather of the past month had been a disaster, and rightly so. It seemed so appropriate for such a melancholic time as a death. The sun seemed to understand the small circle of friends’ need for cloudiness, not rising for more than moments throughout the whole day. Or maybe it was just too ashamed to show it’s beautiful, bright, happy face, when all the children of Revello Drive where grieving so, and couldn’t even manage a genuine smile, let alone feel anything closely resembling happiness. No matter the reason, it never rose on the day of April 6th. The day Jenny’s husband, birth child, and step son, would lay her down six feet under to rest in peace at last.

Jennifer Giles hid her illness well. She never missed a day of teaching computer science class at Sunnydale High School, and always had the time and energy to spend quality time with her family and friends. She still did the house work every evening, and helped all four children with their homework regularly. She and Mr. Giles even went out to dinner every Friday night.

Some would say that her passing wasn’t extremely unexpected. She had been sick for weeks. But to the people closest to her, it was. She had been through a very courageous battle with the brain tumor, and had tried every treatment available to her. She sat through hours of radiation and being poked repeatedly with every needle known to man. Giles even hired the best brain surgeon in the country to try and remove the growth through surgery.

But in the end, nothing would be enough to safe her life.

Some of the treatments worked for a while, but the cancer would never be completely gone. Too much radiation could kill her, and too many needles gave her arms bruises that would last for weeks. The only logical option was surgery.

Dr. Wesley Wyndham-Pryce was the leading brain surgeon in the whole country and was the best at what he did. His strong English accent and thin framed glasses gave him the appearance of a wealth man, who was wise beyond his years. He only took the cases that no one else would, and was renowned in his field for his track record. He had never lost a patient yet. Everyone trusted him for one reason alone: he hated to fail.

The surgery went well, and everything checked out fine. Jenny was released within the same week. Finally it seemed that the gray cloud that had settled over the Giles household had lifted. But just when things were looking up, tragedy struck when they least expected it to.

The doctors said that it was an aneurysm. A rupture of blood vessels in the brain, probably due to complications in surgery. She more than likely felt little or no pain and passed out as it happened. Even if someone would have found her sooner, there was nothing the could have done. And poor William had been the one to find her cold, lifeless body on the couch in their living room.

Joyce and Hank knew of their neighbor’s illness, but felt it best not to mention it to Buffy or Dawn. They were afraid what kind of anguish would come of it, and they wanted to save their girls’ present pain.

William and Liam had both known of their mother’s predicament, and both dealt with it in different ways. Liam seemed to not care about anything anymore and his attitude took a turn for the worse. He hung out with the wrong people and was brought home by the Sunnydale P.D. at least once a week. His once high grades dropped like the stock market crash of the 1920's. Everything the Liam Giles had ever worked for seemed to fade away into nothing. And Liam too slowly faded-Into Angel. Jenny used to call him that when he was a baby.

William had become more and more involved with his studies, and rarely had time for anything else. This was the way he liked it. If he kept himself busy enough, he didn’t have to think about what had actually happened to his stepmother. He had already lost one mother to cancer, he didn't think he could deal with losing another. He and Buffy still remained close, and it was easier to be around her than anyone else. She understood him and never judged him for anything he said. She was his one true friend.

And he loved her all the more for it.
________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 10: The Long Way Home

Hank Summers sighed loudly, feeling the tension in his body mount as an aggravating sickly sensation trembled his stomach. With a shaky hand, he lifted the steaming Styrofoam cup to his lips and sipped quietly. The warm liquid did nothing to calm his nerves, though, and he suspected nothing would.

He had been waiting at Los Angeles International Airport for more than forty minutes. He realized that being on time didn’t mean being almost an hour early, but his head was too preoccupied with other thoughts at the moment to really absorb something as trivial as plane schedules. Today, for the first time in three years, Hank was finally going to welcome his girls back home.

Hank tried his best to blend-in with the other travelers, he really did, but to no avail. He stuck out like a sore thumb, and he knew he was receiving more than a few stares from some passersby who happened to notice the dark haired man, holding onto his cup of coffee for dear life, and looking strangely like he might bolt from the terminal at any second. He unconsciously bounced his leg up and down, giving him an even more apparent look of pure unease. His right eye began to twitch, and he tapped his fingers to an unheard beat against the pseudo-mug in his hands.

Finally, the gate doors opened, and the plane’s passengers began to spill out into the terminal. He took one final sip of his double tall before discarding the still warm cup into a nearby trashcan. He made his way over to greet his little girls.

~*~*~*~

"So, do you think he’ll show up?" Dawn asked, dryly, already debating whether or not their absentee father would should up to greet them at the airport. She swung her long dark hair behind her shoulders and bent down to pick up her bag. Standing upright, she waited for her sister’s response.

"Who knows?" Buffy asked, heaving her black travel bag over her slim shoulder as she and Dawn made their way down the long terminal, carrying most of their luggage. She was really trying to not think about what her father would do when they arrived. Hank Summers was one unreliable man, and an even worse father. Who’s to say that he might have forgot about them, or went out to lunch with Cecily, or maybe even just decided that they weren’t important enough to drive to LA for.

"Well, maybe this time will be different, maybe he’ll really keep his promise this time." Dawn suggested, hopefully.

"Maybe, Dawn."

Buffy let out a heavy sigh. She always said that. It seemed as though the more their father lied to them to protect them, the more he hurt them. Dawn always gained a little more hope that he might keep the next promise, or be at the next birthday party. Buffy couldn’t bare to tell her the truth. To tell her that their father was an undependable, good-for-nothing, son of a-

"Hi, honey."

~*~*~*~

Silence overwhelmed the three occupants of the dark green sports vehicle, as it rolled smoothly along the old streets of the small little town of Sunnydale, California. Cars whizzed by, changing lanes to pass the slow moving SUV, and be on their way to work, lunch, home, or possibly to pick op their two daughters that they forgot existed until two weeks ago.

No one had said a word since their departure from the airport. Awkward hugs and smiles were shared along with softly spoken greetings before the three had silently decided to finish their reunion back at the house. Hank had helped the two young girls with their luggage and even held open the doors of both the airport and the car for them. To any passerby he seemed to fit perfectly into the part of the world’s greatest dad and everyone’s hero, but not to the two girls who happened to (unfortunately) share his DNA. They thought he was trying way too hard.

Now, as the car made it’s way into the outskirts of Sunnydale, the anxiety seemed to eat away at them. Each tried to think of something to say to ease some of the tension that was suffocating them.

Buffy sat quietly in the back seat staring out the window at the town that she used to know as home. Nothing had changed, not a bit, in three years. The same buildings scratched the same crystal clear blue sky, and still housed the same old friendly neighbors who always made time to have a cup of coffee and chat about the neighborhood. The same paved streets led to the same parts of town that the blonde remembered so well. She had waited three years to come back here at last, and now Buffy Summers was finally home. She couldn’t believe it.

"So, how have you been sweetie?" Her father asked from the driver’s seat in front on her.

"Fine." She whispered nonchalantly. She watched as they turned a corner onto a familiar street. 'They’re all familiar.' She reminded herself.

"You still doing well in college?" He prodded, trying desperately to make conversation.

Buffy responded with a simple, "Yes."

"That’s good to hear." He said, nervously gripping onto the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white. The middle-aged man remained facing straight ahead despite the thoughtfully confused look that marred his aging face. "What was it that you were majoring in again, sweetie?"

Buffy sighed. She should have known that he would have forgotten the four hour conversation they had shared on the phone last year. She had talked to him about college life and how she was going to be an English major last fall. Apparently, it was not as important as what color dress the new step mommy should wear to those stupid dinner parties that her father often had to attend for work.

"English, dad. I’m studying to be a writer." She informed him, trying her best not to sound too annoyed.

"Oh, well that’s great. Seems you and William have the same career in mind. Isn’t that interesting?" Her father quipped in an overly cheerful voice. God, sometimes she just wanted to reach out and slap him silly.

"Yeah, dad." Buffy whispered back, her heart doing a familiar somersault at the mention of Spike. She had been trying not to think about what it would be like to see her best friend-slash-ex-boyfriend for the first time in three years, but it was getting a lot harder not to when they were back in Sunnydale again. Memories of summers past came rushing back and Buffy found it hard to concentrate on what exactly her father was saying. Speaking of balding middle-aged men who happen to be deadbeat fathers...

"How’s you’re mother doing?" Hank asked to no one in particular. Buffy was about to answer with another two word phase, the easiest ones, when Dawn cut in.

"Like you care." The dark-haired teen snorted.

"I do care, Dawnie. Just because your mom and I aren’t together anymore, doesn’t mean I stopped caring. In point of fact, I care very much for your mom and still want to know how she’s been." Hank say calmly, as though he hadn’t ruined all three Summers’ womens' lives.

"You mean since you ripped her still beating heart out of her chest, threw it on the ground, stomped on it, and told her that she had to move out of the house that she had lived in for more than ten years?" Dawn ventured, casually drumming her fingers on her knees to an unheard tune, like she didn’t have a care in the world. Except for making her biological father feel as guilty as possible. Good ol’ Dawnie, always one for the melodramatic teen dramas. "Gee, dad, she’s just peachy with a side of keen."

"Now, honey-" Hank started, but was again interrupted by his youngest daughter.

"No, you listen dad." Dawn began, emphasizing the 'dad' to make a point, "Buffy and I came back here for one reason, and one reason only: to be here for Spike’s wedding. Not to see you, not to meet the latest bimbo you’re shacked up with, not to listen to you make up excuses for why you cheated on mom, or why you made us move out, or why you haven’t bothered to call and take an interest in our lives for the past three years. We’re here for Spike. So please save the apologies for someone who really gives a damn, 'kay?" Dawn finished softly, clearly out of breath from her outburst.

Buffy sat in the backseat, stunned. She and Dawn hadn’t really talked about their feeling toward their father out in the open before. Buffy had never thought that her little sister could be holding all these feelings of anger inside. She had, frankly, never thought to ask, to afraid to open old wounds and all. But she had to say, drama club had really done a lot for her little sister.

Hank Summers took a deep breath, one that sucked in as much air as humanly possible and filled his lungs to full capacity, "Wasn’t expecting that." He murmured, more to himself than to the two young women also occupying the car.

Back in the rear seat, an amused smile graced Buffy’s pretty face.

'Yeah, it's good to be home.'

~*~*~*~

Yeah, okay, so it’s been awhile...more like an eternity. Anyhow, I’m back now. You guys can quit dialing 911, I’m not dead. Really I’m not. Hope you liked this chappy. And please as always, leave really pretty reviews. Next chappy will be up in a few days, hopefully this weekend. Or maybe I'll just post it now...

Hugs and Kisses to all,

~Saltygoodness~

Chapter Eleven: Home is Where the Crazies Are


Buffy felt faint. She couldn't breathe, and her lungs burned for air. Her head was dizzy and she was sure she was gonna pass out any minute now. The feeling was just too intense. She only knew she wasn't dead. She could tell from the mind-numbing pain of having her ear talked off until she was positive her head might explode.

'Somebody shoot me now,' She thought. It was the thing she dreaded the most when she thought about coming back to Sunnydale.

The Uber Step-mom from planet Cosmo.

"Oh, my little Boo-boo has told me so much about you, haven't you, Hanky?" Buffy's father nodded silently from behind the two young women locked in a death-grip hug. A smile graced his face. One that beamed like he was the proud father of the winner of the fourth-grade spelling bee.

Dawn watched the display from the driveway. 'That's dad's new twit? She's like what, twelve?' Dawn thought, with a very unladylike snort. 'That's disgusting!' Tossing her long dark pony tail over her shoulder, she sighed loudly, and grabbed one of her bags of luggage.

"It's sooo great to finally meet you." The voice continued, "I'm really glad that you came. I can already tell that we're gonna be the best of friends."

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the other woman let Buffy go. Gulping in much needed breathes of fresh air, Buffy smiled as politely as she could and answered.

"Uh, yeah, looks like." The woman smiled happily and clapped her hands together excitedly, doing a little victory jump in the process. Buffy was finally able to get a good look at her for the first time.

Cecily Price was a tall, lengthy brunette in three-inch platforms. Her long dark hair fell in soft ridges around her round face and swept past her thin shoulder blades. Large breasts covered in an elastic dress the color of lime green were displayed proudly on her chest like a fisherman's prized stuffed fish mounted on a wall. Long, tanned legs extended from where the dress stopped mid-thigh to where two slim ankles met her silver heels. Her face was full, a little on the plump side, but still attractive. Bleach blonde highlights lined her dark locks, and her pouty lips were painted the deepest shade of blood red that Buffy had ever seen.

Big boobs, big ass, a tighter dress than a bathing suit, darkest lips this side of a crayon box, and a head filled completely with hot air.

To put it bluntly, she was a perverted greasy mechanic's wet dream.

"Wow, Buffy how did you get that amazing shade of blonde hair?" Cecily asked, bubbly-eyed.

"Uh, well, I guess...the salon?" Buffy answered. It came out more of a question than a statement. Buffy was still trying to decide how to go about this mission of ditching the step-trollop.

"Oh, it's so lovely. You know, I was thinking of bleaching mine the exact same color, but then it seemed way to 90's teen melodrama, so I just went with the bleached streaks." She babbled. Buffy wondered if she should be offended or grateful. She was seriously starting to wonder if there was a scheduled intermission anytime soon.

"That's nice." Buffy said, absentmindedly. 'Two word answers, it is,' Buffy mused.

"Oh, Buffy, it's like we're sisters." She said, smiling like a kid in a candy store. She stopped suddenly, seemingly lost in thought. Then as if finding the solution to her hidden problem she continued. "But with really different hair."

"Um, yeah. Definitely." Buffy agreed, not really paying attention to the young woman before her. Her eyes wondered to the large house behind Cecily. Her home...or what used to be anyway. It looked exactly the same. Buffy couldn't believe it. It had been three years since she had been back here, and three years since she had last since this house last. A warm feeling quickly spread through her at the thought.

Just then her eyes caught sight of the black Desoto parked in the driveway next door. Spike. The house that was almost identical to her father's, but with a darker shade of crimson in the bricks, was where her long lost friend was. Should she go over now? Maybe it would be better to wait til later? Spike had always been a late sleeper. She should probably wait until she was sure he was awake.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by that very annoying voice that never seemed to stop.

"So Buffy how do you like Sunnydale?" Cecily asked, oblivious to Buffy's Please-save-me-from-my-bothersome-potential-step-mother S.O.S signals.

"Oh, well, I've been here before." Buffy replied, praying to God that Dawnie would chose right about now to start a fight with Cecily. She knew it was coming anyway; Why couldn't it happen right now?

Anything to make this torture stop.

"Oh, really?" Cecily asked, completely shocked by this new turn of events. He hand went to her chest, as she sucked in a deep puff of air. "So, this is like coming home to you, I bet?"

Buffy was amazed. How could so much hot air fit into so small a head? She smiled. "Wow, hit the nail right on the head." Please save me, Dawnie!

"So, Buffy, huney, why don't you take your things inside and start unpacking." Hank spoke for the first time since Cecily learned she could speak for hours at a time without breathing.

"Right." Buffy answered, not looking her father in the eye. "I'll go...do that." She picked up her belongings, walked around Cecily, and went inside.

Right before the front door slammed shut, Buffy heard Cecily's voice once more. "Oh my, you must be little Dawn Summers. I'm so happy to finally meet you."

'Good luck, sister of mine,' Buffy thought.

~*~*~*~


By the time the petite blonde reached the second floor of the house, she was exhausted from the amount of luggage her sister had insisted on them bringing. Over prepared much?

With a sigh, Buffy pushed open the door to her room, and her jaw hit the floor. There was no bed. There was no dresser, or vanity, or posters lining the walls. All her belongs that were left behind were no where to be found. It was all gone. They must have thrown it out. That, or it was all hidden under the enormous piled of....shoe boxes?

"Sorry about the clutter, sweetie. We needed more space for all of Cecily's things. That woman sure has a helluva lot of shoes." Hank stated from behind her. She could not believe it. They had actually turned her room into a junk room full of overly priced, neoned-colored, platform shoes. Was this bizarro land or something? Things couldn't possibly get any worse, right?

"Well, she did come from LA, dad." Buffy reasoned, not really paying attention to her father's amused chuckle. "That's fine, dad. I'll just sleep with Dawn in her room." She turned and walked down the hall towards Dawn's room.

Hank frowned, and followed close behind. He watched as she turned the door knob and gave the old door a slight push to open it further. Not giving himself time to watch the incredibly shocked look that would inevitably cross her face, he opened his mouth to speak once more. "Oh, uh, well you see honey, I wasn't expecting you two so soon. I really didn't have the time to-"

He was quickly interrupted by his blonde daughter. "Dad, why is Dawn's bed surrounded by...more shoe boxes?" Buffy asked calmly. Although on the inside she was extremely pissed. I mean, how many pairs of shoes can someone own at one time? 'Even I don't have this many damn shoes, and I have a tab to pay off,' She thought. She turned to face her father for the first time since the airport.

"Yeah, well that's what I meant to tell you. There's only enough space for one of you right now, and since this is Dawn's room..." He trailed off, not knowing what more to say. There wasn't anything left to say. His daughters hated him. Buffy probably felt like she wasn't wanted her...what with the lack of room and all.

"I have no room." Buffy finished for him, anger lacing her voice. Well, this just proved how much of a jackass her father really was. He was able to make room for Cecily-the-big-breasted-bimbo, but when it came to his own daughter, he had nothing.

Nothing.

"No, no, you do. It's just-it's just in the garage right now." Hank told her, unsure. When she gave him a icy glare, he continued. "I-I'll get it right out. I will. Just as soon as I find time between work and helping with the wedding. I promise."

"So, dad, where is your eldest going to sleep for the next two weeks?" Buffy asked, a little annoyed.

~*~*~*~

"You have got to be joking, dad. I can't do that. I won't!" Buffy stated, stubbornly shaking her head and folding her arms across her chest. She was standing in the living room, in front of the couch, bags of luggage littering the floor around her, as her father dialed a familiar phone number. Her pretty face was laced with an annoyed expression, and she glared daggers at the back of her father's head.

"Hello, William? It's Hank." He said into the receiver. "Fine, fine. Everything's good. I was just calling to ask a favor." Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Can't I just sleep on the couch?" She whined. How was she supposed to stay in the same house with Spike for two weeks? She would go absolutely crazy with all the inevitable awkwardness.

"Yes, well, I was wondering if my eldest could stay with you until the wedding?" Hank asked unsure.

Buffy watched the scene with interest. She saw her father wait for Spike's answer, which seemed to be taking much longer than expected.

"William? Are you still there?" Hank inquired, wondering if he had said something wrong. The younger man had been deadly quiet since the question had been asked.

Finally, there was an answer. "Yes, we're kinda out of space, what with the boxes that Cecily just moved in."

Another pause.

"Oh great. Ok, Yes, I'll send her right over." Hank smiled, happy to have found a solution.

4 1/2 Years Ago, Sunnydale:

Tuesday was a normal Sunnydale day, filled with sunshine and promise for a great day. The thick clouds of spring had given the residents of Revello Drive a well-deserved break and took a vacation to a far off city in a whole other county. The bright sun shone brilliantly through the trees that were scattered about the front and back yards of the nice, two-story suburban houses and shared it's warm yellow rays with everyone. While most children were outside playing ball or hanging upside down on the monkey bars at the nearby park, two young teenagers sat quietly up in the tree house in the back yard of the Giles' residence doing what every model young adult should be doing-studying. Or trying to, at least.

Will, for some strange reason that he could not figure out for the life of him, could not take his eyes off of his very best friend, Buffy Summers. He watched as the sun's rays reflected off of her bright hazel eyes as she studied the math book intently, as if it held all the answers to all the wonderful questions in the world. Or at least to her homework assignment. At the young age of fourteen and a half, she had been going through the magical process of puberty for at least a year and a half now, but today sitting here in the dusty old tree house, she looked wise beyond her years.

"This makes no sense. God, it's, it's senseless!" She exclaimed, pulling Will out of his stupor. She looked up suddenly to meet his eyes and brushed her long, waist length, golden blonde hair out of her face and behind her shoulder. She was breathing heavily and the small crop top that adorned her creamy flesh dipped dangerously low as she hunched over her books. Will may be her very best friend, but he also was a sixteen year old boy. He simply couldn't stop himself from looking. His blue eyes remained locked on the swells of her breasts that threaten to spill over her top. She was clearly a late bloomer, but there was still enough there for any young man to admire. Besides, he heard Angel mention one time that all you really needed was a handful.

Still caught up in a trance, Will had to blink a few times to clear his vision, and focus on what she was saying.

"No, no, it's not. You just have to concentrate a little more, is all." He told her, reaching for her math book. He examined the algebra problem for a moment and then her sheet of notebook paper on which she tried to calculate the appropriate answer. "You're right. This is senseless."

"See, I tried to tell you, but you were all 'poo poo concentrate a little more, poo poo." She muttered. She had the decency to look sorry when he glared up at her. "Sorry."

Will just smiled playfully and poked her in the side of her ribs with an index finger. She squealed and moved further away from him, grabbing her books with her. He laughed at her and watched as she went back to writing down facts and figures.

She had turned into a very beautiful young woman. There was no doubt about that. A guy would have to be deaf, dumb, and blind to not notice that fact. Too bad she was out of his reach. Which was ironic, considering that she was the closest thing to a girlfriend he really ever had. They did everything together, shared every secret, and knew everything there was to know about each other. He knew that whenever she had a problem she would come straight to him, and he to her. They were like two peas in a pod.

And one pea secretly wrote bloody awful poetry for the other.

He knew, though, that she would never want him the way he was now. As the Nancy boy poet that was her best friend. No, she went for the guys like Angel: the bad boys.

Well, he could do bad too.

"Do you even realize just how beautiful you are?" He suddenly said, instantly regretting it. Her blonde head whipped up so quickly he wondered if she would have whiplash the following day. Hazel eyes met stormy blue ones and locked. A meaningful look passed between the two and for a minute, neither one of them spoke.

"No." She finally breathed barely a whisper. She turned her attention back to her work, acting as if nothing unordinary had occurred.

"You are." He told her sincerely, gauging her reaction. She smiled a bright smile-the kind that lit up her whole face and made her eyes sparkle. She returned her eyes on him once more.

"You too." She said, and meant it. At this, Will ducked his head in shyness. He didn't really believe her. Girls like his Buffy didn't really mean those kinds of things, but only said them in order to spare others' feelings.

"I'm beautiful, am I?" He said with a grin. She couldn't help but grin back.

"Of course."

"But definitely in a manly sort-of-way." She amended off his sarcastically hurt expression.

They both laughed out loud at that.

Buffy saw the look in his eyes. The one that she knew meant that he didn't believe a single word she said. Number 87 on her list of the many facial expressions of William Giles, and their meanings. He thought she was bullshitting him. It amazed Buffy that even now at the age of sixteen, he could be so shy, and think so little of himself. He still thought that he wasn't anything to write home about.

But to her, he was.

He didn't know this, of course, and Buffy wagered that she would probably never tell him either. Expressing repressed feelings of the non-friend variety was dangerous to any friendship. She loved what they had now and didn't want to do anything that would threaten to destroy it. Besides, she was sure that he would never feel the same way about her.

So she would forever hold her peace.

"I mean it, you know." She just wanted to make sure that he had confidence in himself. She did.

His eyes sparkled a bit more than usual, and his full pink lips cracked into a slight smile, barely showing a glimpse of white teeth. "Really, pet?"

"Yeah. I-I mean I've always thought so." She realized exactly how that sounded. "I mean, in a cute, bookish sort-of-way."

His smile faded.

With at least a dozen or so books clutched tightly to her chest, Buffy hurriedly made her way to third period English. Mr. Fowley would surely give her a detention if she was late to his class one more time. The middle-aged, balding man with thick glasses and BO seemed to have it in for her ever since she proved him whole on a particular thesis about women's studies last year. Sometimes male English teachers should really lay off the whole 1970s women's power trips. Too much knowledge could sometimes be a bad thing. It was a shame that she had to have the worst teacher in the Northern Hemisphere for her favorite subject in school. Sometimes the God worked in weird and twisted ways.

The warning bell sounded throughout the hallways. Cursing under her breath, the petite blonde walked as fast as her thin legs could take her without breaking out into a full-fledged sprint. As she approached a corner, two slim figures stepped into her path.

"Buffy, sweetie, where to in such a hurry?" Cordelia asked, mock-innocence in her voice. She not so casually flipped her long, dark, and very well taken care of hair over one shoulder, showing off her new diamond earrings that daddy had spent a fortune on last weekend.

"To class. If I'm late to Fowley's class one more time, he'll kill me." Buffy informed her, not really in the mood to trade blows with Sunnydale High's very own Queen C.

"Awww. Quite the model citizen, aren't we?" Harmony Kendall, resident air-head questioned with an evil smile.

Buffy was silent as she took a step forward to make her way around the two girls. She almost made it all the way past them, when Cordy again blocked her way. The taller brunette placed her hands on her curvy hips and smiled a seemingly polite smile to the shorter golden blonde. Buffy sighed loudly, cursing the luck she was having today.

"Cordy, Harmony, I really need to get to class. So, if you'll just excuse me..."

"But Buffy, I was really hoping we could have that little chat today. You know, the one concerning you're very unfortunate taste in clothing." She continued, eyeing the other girl up and down with a look of disgust on her face. "It's nice to know you've seen the softer side of Sears."

The two girls snickered. They obviously were not planning on letting Buffy get to class any time soon.

Buffy just stood there, silently waiting for the next insult that she was sure was coming. She knew exactly where this conversation was heading. God, this had to be the worst day of her life!

"We're only trying to help. It's our duty as head cheerleaders to use our powers to help others less fortunate than ourselves. And you definitely fall into that category. " Harmony intervened, playing sheep to her role model, and best friend Cordy.

Buffy's face was a mask of confusion and total annoyance. She would give anything for some huge meteor to fall from the sky and bury the two 'bimbos' in a crater the size of a small town. At this, a smile almost formed on her lips. She could see the imagery in head blonde head now. It would be on the front of the Sunnydale Times.

GIANT METEOR CRASHES TO EARTH, SUNNYDALE TWO BIMBOS LESS.

But at this point she wasn't completely sure that would stop their incessant babbling either.

"What power would that be?" She asked, convinced that she had had enough of this constant torture. A girl could only be pushed so far. "'Cause obviously it doesn't involve using your brain a whole lot."

"Oh, Buffy, such the class clown this morning. Tell me, is there anything you can't do?" Cordy mused, not affected in the least by Buffy's comment. "Oh, yes, I almost forgot that you couldn’t get a date if your life depended on it. You going to winter formal?"

Buffy was about to respond when Harmony cut in.

"Of course not. Who would ever stoop that low as to ask her to the winter formal?"

Buffy fought back the pending tears with every ounce of strength she had. She made a promise to herself a long time ago. A promise that she would stick with. She would NEVER let them see her cry. They would never get the benefit of the doubt.

Buffy was about to respond, when someone cut her off again. 'God, what does it take to get one whole sentence finished around here?'

"Cordelia, Harm, so nice to see you." Will said coming up to stand beside his best friend.

The two cheerleaders let their gaze settle on the newcomer. They snorted with repressed laugher.

"No, it's really not." Cordy replied.

"Yeah, didn't really think so, either." He told them, sarcasm evident in his sexy British accent.

'Wait, sexy?' Buffy thought to herself. 'No, not sexy, friendly.' She corrected herself.

"Buffy was just about to tell us about her drop-dead gorgeous date for winter formal." Harmony informed him, giggling humorously.

Buffy averted her eyes from her tortures, looking down at her mud-stained sneakers. Why did they always insist on torturing her? It wasn't like she ever did anything to them.

"Oh really?" Will asked, amused. All the girls looked at him, expectantly.

"Yeah, she just wouldn't shut up about him. Apparently he has the most delicious butt." Cordy smiled while sparing Buffy a glance. After a moment, her chocolate brown eyes returned again to William.

"Is that right, luv?" He asked Buffy. She could tell that he was up to something. "Well, it's nice to know that a bloke's appreciated. Or at least a certain part of his anatomy is anyway" He joked, wrapping an arm around the petite blonde. She looked up at him, surprised.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Cordy exclaimed, putting up her hands in a stance of total confusion. What the hell was going on?

"You're the guy? Buffy's date? The date of Buffy? The date guy who happens to be taking Buffy to the winter formal?" Harmony asked incredulously. 'Buffy Summers had a date? And I have yet to be asked?'

"That's right, I'm that guy, ladies. I'll be accompanying the very beautiful Ms. Summers to the Sunnydale High winter formal three weeks from now, where we will drink punch and dance 'til our arses bloody 'urt. I personally don't really see why there's so much fuss over one sodden' dance, but it's important to Buffy, so you can count me in." Will smiled proudly, squeezing her tiny shoulders tightly against his body, which, Buffy was trying her hardest not to notice, had filled out quite nicely.

"You cannot be serious!" Cordy said vehemently, narrowing her dark eyes at the couple in question.

"As a bloody heart attack." Will replied calmly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What is this, bizarro world?" Cordy asked, throwing up her hands in annoyance. "I mean, is there some kinda geek fan club that supports these crazy, demented things? If Buffy Summers goes to winter formal, it could throw the entire universe out of whack!"

"In what way? The Cordettes lose the spotlight for one night? I feel real bad for ya, pet. Really, I do. It would be devastating to learn that the proverbial scales of popular and nerd are tipped. Life just wouldn't be complete without the status of Queen C hanging over your head, would it?" He retorted, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

And for once in her life, Cordelia Chase didn't have a comeback.

And the rest is silence.

" Cordelia, pet, I think you're thinking about this all wrong. You should be happy for Buffy, here. It's a big day for her. I mean, it's not everyday that someone like you gets surpassed by someone like Buffy." He continued his rant, stopping for a quick intake of much needed oxygen. He was waving his free hand about to make his point.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She asked, outraged at what he was implying. Her hands immediately flew to her hips in a stance of complete frustration.

"Oh, nothing." Will said in mock surrender. "Just that you always seem get cast aside for the innocence ones."

Cordy gasped in alarm when he referred to her brief fling with their very own Alexander Harris, which she liked to refer to as her temporary lapse of sanity. He had cheated on her with his best friend, Willow-the fiery redhead. She still didn't understand why anyone would want to cheat on her, let alone with someone like that geeky bookworm.

"Yeah, well, at least she's not a big, ugly, stupid, super freak!" Harmony defended her best friend, and idol.

Buffy snorted with laugher. She looked up at the other three people discussing her dating life, still giggling like mad. All eyes turned to her.

"Rick James, much?" She asked before bursting out in a full-fledged laugh, complete with the occasional unladylike snort. Will chuckled softly.

The two girls fumed with anger. Buffy and Will watched with amusement as Cordy started to say something. She opened and closed her mouth about four or five times before giving up and stumping away.

Harmony watched her friend leave. She then turned back to look at Buffy and Will. 'If looks could kill." Buffy thought. "That's just great. Just great! Just look at what you've done now. I hope you two feel real good right now."

"As a matter of fact, ducks, we do." The two chuckled loudly again.

"I hope you two are very happy together!" She exclaimed, turning to follow her friend down the hall.

After they were gone, Will let go of Buffy and took a step back. He stood there, silent, until all at once, he let out the biggest roar of laughter, Buffy had ever heard. His blonde head tilted back, revealing the soft skin of his neck and bobbing Adam's apple. Pearly whites glinted through slightly parted lips, and his stormy blue eyes dancing with mischief as she finally caught his gaze.

Will looked back to his best friend and realized that she was staring at him like he had grown another head. His laughter died down abruptly. Silence returned.

"What?" He asked, unsure of why she was looking at him like that. "Oh, come on, goldilocks, you can't tell me that wasn't the funniest thing you've ever seen?"

She tried hard not to laugh. She really did. But she knew it was hopeless. It really was funny.

"Did you see the way Harmony stomped away all angry like she had some stake rammed up her butt?" She laughed, covering her mouth with the hand that wasn't holding a massive amount of books.

"And the way Cordelia got offended that you had a date to the winter formal?" Will commented, still laughing.

Buffy laughter died down though. "Do I really have a date for the winter formal?" She asked quietly, almost too shy to find out. Had he really meant all those things he said, or was he just trying to get one over on the ice queen? Did it really matter to her anyway?

Hell yes!

Will, who had stopped laughing once he realized she wanted to ask him something, smiled handsomely. "'Course, luv. Couldn't let my favorite girl sit home alone, depressed and eating a whole pint of Chubby Hubby, now could I? Besides s'not like I'll be during anything important anyway." That was the real reason why he wanted to take her. It wasn't the fact that the thought of being alone with a beautifully dressed-and possibly only partly clad Buffy, while he held her close as they danced to a slow song. Nope, that wasn't it at all. He only hoped that his little transformation would be complete by then.

"Hey, I would so not be depressed about some stupid dance." She retorted jokingly.

"Well, if it's so stupid, I pro'lly shouldn't make you sit through something you loathe so much..." Will trailed off, knowing he was pulling her strings.

"No!" She blurted out quickly. Then smiling, she amended: "I think I could mange to sit through one night of dancing fun." Truth was that she had wanted to go to the dance for quite some time now. Didn't every teenage girl though? And if she got to go with Will, that was a bonus. Besides, it was not even a date really. Just a friendly thing to do together. Neither of them wanted it to be a date.

Really.

Will smiled back. "Only if you're sure, luv."

"I'm sure."

"Ok then, how 'bout we get you to class before you're so late, Mr. Fowley sends out a search party for his favorite student." He said, reaching out to relieve her of the weight of the large textbooks. "Here, let me 'elp you with those." She gratefully thanked him.

"No problem, luv."

He was going crazy. He was sure of it. He had invited his ex girlfriend to stay with him for two weeks and he was going crazy. What in the hell had possessed him to agree to letting Buffy stay with him? What had he just done? He had damned himself to hell, that’s what. He didn’t even want to think about what Cordelia was gonna do when she found out about he and Hank’s little arrangement.

Glancing hurriedly out his bedroom window and directly into her old one, he sighed loudly. He was able to make out the shapes of various sizes of shoes boxes littering the floor and tables in the room. God, that woman only has two feet, how many bloody pairs of shoes does she really need? Looking down at the nearby street, Spike saw a lengthy brunette around the age of fourteen slowly tug various bags of luggage out of the back of Hank’s SUV. Dawn.

She had grown out of her awkward phase into a beautiful young lady since the last time he had seen her. She had only been a mere ten years old when Hank and Joyce divorced and they were forced to move to the other side of the country. Poor girl. She had to go through all that mess. He realized that she had looked up and caught his eye. Smiling slightly, she stuck a hand straight up in the air and waved it back and forth wildly. Spike chuckled softly and waved back before watching her go inside.

Snapping back to reality, his blonde head whipped around frantically. His house was a disaster! Should have hired that maid, Da’ suggested. He mused. Running over to the bed, he snatched Cordy’s discarded red lacy bra off the bed and threw it haphazardly into the closet and slammed the oak door shut behind it. He then preceded to fly around the house picking up different objects and tossing them in a less noticeable place.

“Bloody ‘ell!” He cried out, falling flat on his face after he tripped over one of Cordy’s very expensive brand name high heels. Grabbing the dreadful piece of footwear, he stared at it, briefly wondering what force drove women to buy so many damn shoes. If they saved half as much money in a jar on top of the refrigerator as they did buying shoes…they’d all have a bunch of money in a jar on top of their refrigerator.

Suddenly the sound of the door bell rang throughout the house, startling him out of his thoughts and back to the important matter at hand. The one that involved his ex, him, and the front door.

Jumping quickly to his feet, Spike ran down stairs and to the front door, peering out through the peep hole in the door. And even through he knew who it was, he still couldn’t stop the small gasp that escaped his full lips at the site of her.

Her beautiful long blonde hair shone in the muted glow of the overhead sunlight. It bounced around her face as she rounded back and forth on her heels nervously waiting for the door to open and her long last lover to come into view for the first time in three years.

She was still a tiny little thing, barely five foot 2 in height. Spike reasoned that she’d probably come up to his chin or so. Her pretty face held the same anxious look that he was sure mirrored his own, and her full ruby lips were parted slightly as if taking in the fresh Californian air for the very first time. Her complexion was smooth and flawless, pink and gold that saw just enough sun to make it glow beautifully. Bright hazel eyes were hidden form view by long lashes that extended from tan eyelids. She was obviously looking down at her feet.

Unable to stop himself, his eyes roamed up and down her body. He took note of the small waist and feminine curve of her hips. Strong, straight legs stemmed out from under a short denim mini skirt that hugged her thin hips suggestively. A light blue halter adorned the top half of her body, cut just low enough to show off a bit of cleavage and casual sandals ornamented her tiny feet.

She was still the beauty she had been back in high school.

Spike wiped away the drill that had started to form on his lower lip, highly embarrassed.

Coming out of the haze he had been in, he glanced down at the shoe in his hand and quickly turned and threw it into a nearby potted plant holder. Returning to the door, his hand flew to the handle, ready to rip it open so hard the door might come off it’s hinges. Just as he was about to do just that, his eye caught on a particular picture on the end table adjacent to the door. It was off him and Cordelia the night that he proposed. She was smiling so bright that every white tooth in her mouth showed perfectly clear and her long dark hair flew down around her face, past her shoulders. The expensive red strapless dress that covered her body left little to the imagination and her nicely shaped legs were crossed as she sat up right in a chair. Spike was behind her and barely noticeable.

Reaching out, he turned the framed photo around so it faced the wall and turned back to let his best friend back into his life.

And into his heart.


It was so very quiet. The breath in both blondes’ throats hitched and neither made a sound. Crickets chirped in the background and the hot Californian sun waited patiently for one of them to make a move. Or at least some kind of action that would show they were still alive.

“Hi.” Buffy squeaked, realizing as the strange noise left her throat just how loud she had said it. She couldn’t believe it. It had to be a dream. She had to have been dreaming. How else could she explain the man standing in front of her who had yet to utter a single syllable? She absolutely no idea whatsoever what she was supposed to do right bout now. Should they hug? Maybe shake hands? Just smile politely and nod? What did normal people do in this situation?

So there she stood, staring like a complete idiot, into the brightest blue eyes in the entire world.

He hadn’t changed much, she realized, as he leaned casually against the door frame trying to act like her presence didn’t affect him. The pale complexion of his smooth skin shone brightly in summer sun. High cheekbones, and full lips made for the most beautiful man she’d ever seen. She remembered what is was like to kiss those very same lips…

Mentally slapping herself, Buffy continued to give him the once over, as well as the second, third, and forth over. He didn’t seem to notice all the staring she was doing on account of the same amount he was doing.

The ocean blue of his eyes shone intensely through his clear contacts, tiny green and gold pigments swirling around in a kaleidoscope of colors, and the ever present scar above his left eye was visible. His skin-tight black pants and black t-shirt conformed to his body, leaving not much to the imagination. He also still wore the red silk shirt that he was so fond of but was sans his trademark leather duster. His bleached hair was loosely slicked back, giving him the 'Big Bad' image he had strived for. He's exactly how I remembered him. It's been three years, and he hasn't changed. Not that he would, though. People don’t change drastically in just a three years time. But god, she thought, he’s still beautiful.

She smiled, cheerfully. Maybe a little too cheerfully.

“H-hi.” He said in a raspy tone, finding his voice for the first time. He smiled nervously and ran a hand through his bleach locks.

A few seconds passed before Buffy spoke again. Not finding anything too intelligent to say, she opted for the easier phrases.

“Hi.” She repeated, feeling very much like a moron.

He laughed apprehensively, trying to break the tension that sounded them like a giant plastic bubble sucking the life out of everything inside it. He smiled. “Hi.”

Ah, the classics.

They both laughed loudly.

“Well, now that we got the mind-numbing fear out of the way…” Buffy joked, slipping a stray piece of sun-kissed hair behind her ear with a thin finger. Spike chuckled softly at that.

She smiled gladly, happy to hear the long lost sound of his infectious laugher. It warmed her heart to hear the sound of his contentment ringing through the air once again after so long. She had gone a long time without hearing that beautiful melody and welcomed it openly.

“Should we, um…hug?” He asked nervously, gesturing with his arms in the space between them. He didn’t understand this sudden need to feel her wrapped in his arms, but the feeling only intensified with every second.

She shook her head. “Give me a minute. I just wanna bask.”

He smiled knowingly, doing the same.

She filled his senses, igniting a powerful flame deep inside him that he had thought long gone. Her beauty radiated off of her in waves. His eyes had to run fast to keep up. The sound of her voice was music to his ears and pierced his soul with a slow, beautiful harmony of pure affection. The long forgotten taste of her lush pink-tinted lips seemed to rush to the surface and forced him she swallow it back down again, where it remained, unsated and planning to rise once more with a vengeance. The sweet smell of vanilla and something purely Buffy lingered in the humid air, thick with passion and lust. He had yet to touch her, but he was sure that there would be fireworks when his fingertips finally did graze her creamy skin.

He suddenly felt very aware of every little thing happening around him. He was not aware, however, of the affect her had on the woman before him. Or the fact that she was faced with the same experiences that had just plagued him.

She was staring, she knew it. And she was fairly certain that she had a slight drill forming on her bottom lip, but she made no move to wipe at it. Her brain was too preoccupied with having her senses assaulted by this handsome man before her, and did not register that any other required movement was necessary. Finally the involuntary action of blinking became a must and the moment was over.

“Okay, I’m basked. We can hug now.” She smiled stepping forward to meet him in a powerful embrace. He put his arms around her waist, ever so slowly, and pulled her against his chest. She let herself grow weak in his arms, and closed her eyes to keep herself from crying with the utter delight and sorrowfulness of being held in his embrace again after so long without it. Spike dropped his head to her shoulder and breathed in the scent of her hair and skin, as the light fabric of her top scratched his nose gently. She shuddered and wrapped her arms around his shoulders tightly, putting her nose into the folds of his silky red shirt that he let fall around the top of his shoulders.

“This is nice.” She commented, lips fluttering around on his shoulder. “I missed this.”

“Oh, me too, pet. Me too.” He exclaimed at the sheer joy of having her near him again. How had he gone so long without this wonderful feeling? It hadn’t really been three years since the last time he was allowed to touch her, had it? It just didn’t seem possible. Now, having her in his arms once more, it seemed that only hours had passed between them. It was as though he had just woken up from the very deep sleep he had been in the night they first made love. Chills ran down the column of his spine and he almost shivered in their intensity. Pulling her tighter into the embrace, he held on for dear life.

They were finally home.

Disclaimer: Obviously, the characters in this story are not mine. They are the property of Joss Whedon, UPN, Mutant Enemy, etc. I own nothing except for the stories that I write to help my Spuffy obsessed self sleep at night.


Four and ½ years ago, Sunnydale:

The Sunnydale High School gym was filled from one side of the large room to the other with hordes of wild, hormone-driven teenagers as they danced and laughed good-naturedly. The brightly colored lights swirled around in an almost complete synchronization with the loud, pulsating music, seemingly dancing along with the crowd on the dance floor. A overly-large crystal ball hung high from the ceiling, reflecting tiny pigments of beautiful light on the crème colored walls, which held banners and streamers painted vibrantly in school colors, by bulky pieces of Scotch tape. Balloons were strung above every entrance and window, and a few had managed to escape the confines of the sticky tape and drifted down on the make-shift dance floor below. They were kicked this way and that by the assortment of different kinds of formal-wear shoes that clad the feet of all the dancers, rising and falling every-so-often in the humid air. Excitement seemed to radiate off of every person in the room, including the short, blonde girl standing nervously next to the punch table.

Buffy waited anxiously to show off her new dress to a certain best friend of hers, twisting her tiny fingers in her long blonde hair and bouncing back and forth on the soles of her feet. It was nearly ten o’clock and she had been here for over an hour, waiting impatiently for her promised date to arrive.

William had stopped her in school today and informed her that he and Xander would be a slight-bit late to the homecoming dance, saying that they needed extra time to prepare and that they promised that the wait would be worth it. He didn’t, however, tell her that a slight-bit late, in actuality, meant almost an hour and a half after the dance had started.

‘What the hell could be taking them so long? It wasn’t like they ever did anything to get ready to go out but brush their hair out of their eyes so they could actually see. Jeez, they were taking longer than me, Willow, and Tara to get ready.’ She thought, irritated to no end.

Adverting her gaze from the main entrance, Buffy surveyed the crowd of dancers with an envious look on her face. An assortment of colors assaulted her hazel eyes, as her fellow peers moved wildly to the fast-paced beat of the current song. Dresses and tuxes made of ever fabric known to man, in every color known to Buffy, adorned the sweaty bodies of the young students, adjusting to the pulling of the threads as they danced. It amazed Buffy to think of the killing the formal-wear stores must have made in the last two months.

Her gaze landed briefly on Willow and Tara as they danced experimentally by the edge of the dance floor. They had both decided to come to the dance without dates, insisting that all people of the opposite sex were very irritating and that they would rather spend the night having fun with each other, rather than put up with incredibly boring dates as they tried to put the moves on them. Buffy smiled as she watched then move, astounded at how beautiful they both looked tonight.

Willow had ultimately gone with a deep, emerald green strapless dress. The female sales associate had picked it out for her, advising her that it really brought out the color of her eyes and made her hair stand out in all it’s glory. The top have of it was a corset, framing her nice figure suggestively, while separating and lifting her breasts, giving her small chest more cleavage. It fanned out below the waist, where it hung loosely, flowing around her shapely legs as she twirled. The simply satin ribbon that was tied around her small waist in a bow added a touch of elegance to the dress.

Her short red hair was down, hanging just above the tips of her shoulders. A tiny green rose, a shade lighter than her dress adorned her right ear and held that side of her hair back, showing off the lightly done make-up, and pretty smile she had while dancing along side Tara, who looked amazing in her princess style, baby blue dress, that slightly resembled the look of Buffy’s dream wedding gown when she was eight.

Tara suddenly looked up from her spot beside Willow and caught Buffy’s eye. She smiled kindly, and raised her hand in a small wave. Her green eyes danced in cheerfulness as she gave the other blonde a look that seemed to ask ‘why aren’t you dancing?’

Buffy smiled and shrugged silently. She watched as Tara went back to dancing with Willow and sighed softly. The song changed, again another fast song, and the couple kept up their movement.

Buffy glanced back to the walk-through to see if she could catch a glimpse of her yet-to-be-seen date. Upon not finding him or Xander, she adverted her attention to the table to her right and proceeded to help herself to some punch. The sweet, sugary liquid slide down her throat smoothly, chilling her mouth from it’s normal ninety-eight point six degrees to a much cooler temperature.

“Buffy! I can’t believe you actually showed your face here tonight!” A loud voice from behind her rang out. Buffy slowly turned and faced her with a blank expression on her face. Cordelia continued without notice. “Which is starting to look a little slagged, by the way. What, are you just skipping foundation entirely now?”

“Thanks, Cordy.” Buffy replied sarcastically, holding her cup full of punch in her hands. “And if I ever need any help with that, I’ll be sure to call you. What’s your number again? I-800-I’m a skanky ho?”

“Oh, somebody spent some extra quality time rehearsing her comebacks.” She mused with false enthusiasm, smiling evilly.

For the first time, since the shoo-in for homecoming queen had entered the room, Buffy observed her attire. The blonde had to admit that the May Queen looked beautiful in her jet black dress that ended just past her knees. It dipped dangerously low in the front, all the way to her navel, and was accented by tiny gleaming studs that followed the seam and brought out the dark tan of her skin. Tiny straps held the dress on her bony shoulders, where her long dark hair had been pulled up atop her head in a loose bun of soft tresses. Her make-up was slightly darker than she normally wore it, but still was faltering to her complexion. Her look was completed with a black Gucci handbag and a pair of strappy stilettos.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Cordelia. I don’t spend all my time thinking about you, but I’m fairly certain that you do.” Buffy remarked, feeling quite proud of yourself at the moment.

“And the laughs just keep rollin’ with you tonight, Buff.” The dark-haired girl joked snidely. Suddenly, Angel appeared beside her, wrapping an impressively large arm around her tiny waist. He gave Buffy the once over, and after deciding that he liked the way she looked, smiled down at her.

Buffy returned the friendly smile, while watching Cordy’s face.

“Don’t you just love Buffy’s great sense of humor, baby?” She asked him nastily, wrapping an arm of her own around her date for the evening.

Angel glanced down at the dark-haired girl curiously before looking over to Buffy. “Sure, babe. She’s very funny.” He responded, uninterested.

Cordelia continued, not noticing this at all.

“So, where’s your date, Buffy? Don’t tell me we-Willy stood you up?” She tormented, enjoying every moment.

“He’s running late, is all. He had a few things to take care of before he’s supposed to meet me here.” Buffy told her defensively. Actually, she was really starting to wonder if William was going to stand her up tonight…

“Well, it would just be a shame if he really did decide not to show up tonight.” Cordy went on to say. “I mean, I know he only asked you to try to make you feel better about not having anyone else to go with, but it’s kinda sad that he’d rather stand you up than have to actually spend the entire evening with you.” She ratted, hurtfully.

Buffy tried to push back the feelings of weakness, but couldn’t suppress the thought that maybe William had only wanted to take her to the dance to make her feel better for not having been asked. ‘God, could I be more of a loser.’ She thought sadly.

Angel chose that moment to put his two cents in. “Hey, babe, why don’t we go dance some more? Leave Buffy to her waiting for William.” He insisted, impulsively.

She looked up to the man beside her and smiled a smile that made Buffy want to heave. “Of course, baby. Have I told you how incredibly delicious you look tonight.” She flirted.

Buffy mentally gagged.

“Have fun, Buffy.” She said sarcastically, as the two turned to head back out on the dance floor.

Buffy watched as they walked away from her, overhearing Cordelia comment about how she couldn’t believe that Angel and William were related, and Angel’s response of ‘only by marriage.’ She sighed heavily, bringing the cup she still held in her fingers up to her lips and downing the rest of the punch.

~*~*~*~*~

“Jeez, William, would you stop fussing. We’re gonna be late.” Xander told the boy standing next to him in the boys’ restroom of Sunnydale High.

“I know that, whelp. It’s just I wanna make sure. I want everything to be perfect tonight.” William said, eyeing himself in the mirror. He still couldn’t believe that the person he saw staring back at him was indeed William Giles.

Xander had helped him for hours, starting as soon as school let out around two. They had both bought new tuxes with the money they earned working part-time at the local Doublemeat Palace, and were sure to not spare no expenses on the details. Both men were dressed in the most expensive suits they could afford and looked really handsome.

William had enlisted Xander’s help to assist him in his transformation from boring old William Giles to, as Xander liked to refer to him as now, Spike. The darker man had cut, bleached and styled Will’s hair using techniques he had learned from watching Willow, Tara, and Buffy play with their Barbies years ago. They had rummaged through drawer after drawer in the Giles’ residence trying to find the prescription contacts that Rupert had purchased for his younger son over six months ago. Upon finding them, the two young men had spent over two hours trying to get the small contraptions in place in William’s eyes. After succeeding in poking himself in the eyes a couple of times, William was finally sans-glasses.

“Well, if you ain’t perfect yet, you’re never gonna be. Now let’s get out of this place. Something smells awful funny in here.” Xander pointed out, scrunching up his nose in disgust.

“Of course it smells funny in here, you nit. We’re in the loo.”

“Yeah, and the dancing fun has always been held in the gym, so, as I always say, why try fixing something that isn’t broken.” Xander remarked sarcastically. He patted William on the back and made his way to the door.

William pulled a single red rose, the color of blood, out of his pocket. After checking his appearance one last time, he turned and followed Xander out of the restroom and towards the gym to find his date.

~*~*~*~

After her forth or fifth cup of punch, Buffy was debating on whether or not she really had to use the restroom. She was getting extremely bored standing alone and watching Willow and Tara have a good time. The two giddy girls had only stopped dancing once to refuel their dehydrated bodies with more punch and to try to force Buffy into dancing with them. She had declined politely, claiming that she would rather watch everyone else. Cordelia and Angel had, thankfully, chose to leave her be for the rest of the night, and Buffy was beginning to wonder if they hadn’t scampered off somewhere to make out in a nearby broom closet like most school days.

Just then, Anya, Xander’s date, decided to try and make conversation with the weary blonde standing by herself.

“Hello, I’m Anya Christina Emanuella Jerkins, Xander’s supposed date for tonight. I was wondering if you knew where he was. You see, I was hoping that we’d be able to get the lame ass dancing over with and get straight to the many, many orgasms that he promised to deliver.” She said cheerfully, not at all aware of how blunt she was being.

Buffy blushed a deep scarlet at the taller blonde in the red dress. No one she ever talked to before had ever said anything like Anya was saying now. At almost fifteen years old, Buffy Summers had never heard the word ‘orgasm’ outside of sex education class, and was surprised when she heard the older girl mention it.

Anya was a bubbly seventeen year old girl who had an instant reputation for being promiscuous when she transferred to Sunnydale High two months ago. People always talked about how she was never too afraid to say exactly what was on her mind at that very moment. No matter how inappropriate it may be.

Everyone was surprised when Xander told them that he had asked the junior to homecoming, and even more amazed when he told them that she had said yes. Anya was two years older than him and never associated with their close-knit circle of friends before. This was actually the first time she had ever spoken to Buffy since her first day of class.

“Oh, w-well, he and my date, William were running a little late. They should be here soon.” Buffy informed her, feeling very uncomfortable.

“Oh, well, thank you very much for your help. You’ve been very informative. We should hang out sometime.” She said, giving Buffy a friendly smile.

Buffy smiled back pleasantly. “Sure. That would be really cool. I’m Buffy, by the way.” She held out her hand to the other girl.

Anya shook her hand softly, smiling. “Nice to meet you, Buffy. Call me tomorrow and we’ll meet up and trade stories about the amazing orgasms we’re sure to receive tonight. It’ll be fun.”

With that she walked away, leaving an astounded Buffy to stare after her curiously.

~*~*~*~*~

When the door to the gym opened for nearly the hundredth time that night, Xander and William slowly made their way into the dancing area, eyes searching the crowds for some familiar faces. Xander’s dark chocolate brown eyes found Anya and he yelled to the man beside him that he was going to go dance, over the loud music. William only nodded slightly as the other man walked off, blue eyes focused entirely on the tiny blonde he had spotted near the punch table.

She was a vision, sexy and innocent all in the same breath. Her perfect figure was encased in a soft pink wrap dress that was made of a thick material and clung to every curve and dip of her body. It was strapless and William nearly stopped breathing when he thought about what exactly was holding the dress up on her body. The bottom was loose, compared to the top half, and fell freely from her the tops of her thighs to the bottoms of her thin ankles. Simple white pumps adorned her feet, and she bounced on them impatiently, as she swung her arms from side to side in a mock-dance of annoyance.

Her long blond hair was swept up in a perfect French twist, leaving her neck vulnerable to his hungry eyes. Little stray wisps of hair that had escaped the confines of the thin Bobbie pins framed her sun-kissed face. William’s mother’s necklace hung beautifully around her long neck. Her lovely hazel eyes swept the room in a hurry, seemingly searching for something or someone. Probably him.

‘Bloody ‘ell.’ He thought, smiling inwardly.

He walked deliberately as slow as possible, milking this moment for all it was worth. He moved around the hordes of dancing couples carefully, navigating his way toward her without ever taking his eyes off of his date.

She still hadn’t noticed his arrival yet and he was approaching her awfully quick.

Clutching the rose in his right hand, he stopped in front of her. Her back was facing him, and she was watching Willow and Tara dance, in, what he thought was a very strange fashion. “Why aren’t you dancing, luv?”

She jumped at his voice and whirled around suddenly. Buffy’s mouth went dry at the sight that greeted her.

An extremely hot guy was standing expectantly in front her, smiling the sexiest smile she had ever seen in all her fourteen and a half years of existence. She stared at him wonderingly, her arms hung loosely at her side, not knowing what to do with them. He was dressed from head to toe in, what looked like a very expensive knock-off of an Armani suit, with a light blue button up dress shirt underneath, a simple black tie hung from a loose fitting knot around his neck.

He was absolutely gorgeous, and had high cheekbones that were well defined and made him look like a model. His hair was bleached to a platinum shade of blonde, and his clear blue eyes were…

‘Wait, blue eyes?’ Buffy thought, realization dawning on her for the first time.

“William!?” She gasped, clutching her chest in surprise. Her hazel eyes went wide and her mouth hung open slightly as she stared at her best friend.

His cerulean orbs lit up mischievously, and he let out a small chuckle, his full lips forming a smile. “Yeah, pet, it’s me.” He said.

“Ohmigod.” She whispered, raising the hand that was on her chest to her mouth in an attempt to hold back her exclamations.

“Do you like it?” He asked anxiously.

“Where are your glasses?” She wondered, pulling her hand away from her mouth to speak.

“Got rid of ‘em. Hate the bloody things. Contacts are much easier.” He lied about that last part. The contacts were a bleedin’ piss to get in and take out, but he was willing to put up with them, if it meant that Buffy would notice him.

“You’re eyes are so blue.” She admired, smiling thoughtfully. “I didn’t realize it ‘til now, but they really are. The most beautiful shade of blue I’ve ever seen.”

William beamed from ear to ear at her words. “So you like it, then?” He inquired.

“Absolutely. You look so se-” She stopped herself abruptly, realizing that she nearly called him sexy to his face. ‘His very sexy face.’ “Good. You look good.” She amended herself, hoping he didn’t notice her slip up.

“I love the hair.” She continued, gesturing with her hands at her own hair. “It’s so different. In a good way.”

William all of a sudden remembered the red rose he was clutching in an almost painfully tight grip. He looked down at it and held it out to her. “For you.”

She smiled when she saw it, and took it from his hands, fingertips accidentally brushing against his. A chill ran up and down her spine, and she had to refrain herself from shivering in front of him. She closed her eyes and lifted the rose to her nose, inhaling deeply. The fresh smell of the flower filled her senses. “Thank you.”

“Your welcome.” He replied, hands back down at his sides. “So, I’ll ask you again, why aren’t you dancing?”

She smiled, and shrugged. “’Cause no one’s asked me yet.” She replied playfully. ‘Am I flirting?’ She wondered.

He flashed her an irresistible grin that made her knees go weak. “Is that right?”

“Yep.” She nodded, popping her ‘p.’ ‘Is he flirting?’

Just then a slow song began to play, and couples all around wrapped their arms around each other and moved to the slow, romantic music.

William said nothing, but held out his hand for Buffy to take. She took it immediately, and smiled dreamily as she was slowly lead out onto the dance floor.

The other couples seemed to make room for the newest addition, and moved out of their way.

Willow and Tara observed the two blondes from their spot along the sidelines, with an awed expression on their faces.

When they reached their destination, he wasted no time in wrapping his arms tightly around her slender waist. Buffy tentatively drew her arms up around his neck and melted into his embrace. The gazed longingly into each others eyes.

~The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth~

William held her to him, reveling in the feeling of her soft body molded so perfectly against his. “You look beautiful tonight, Buffy.” He whispered softly into her ear.

She didn’t say anything, still smiling. She held onto him tightly, and resisted the urge to lay her head down on his shoulder. Keeping her eyes locked with his, she let the soft chords wash over her and guide their movement.

~And tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love~

William tightened his hold on her tiny body, as if he was afraid she might disappear. God, he truly hoped that she felt the same thing he was feeling at that moment. That they should be together.

~I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hang from above~

Buffy finally gave into the urge to rest her head on his shoulder. He laid his chin atop of her golden tresses. They continued to dance as the chorus played.

~And I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love suicide
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life~

Cordelia watched, seething with envy at the dancing couple from her viewing point on the top bleacher, next to a very drunk Angel. Who knew that underneath those incredibly dorky glasses and all those layers of tweed, William Giles was unbelievably hot?

~Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive not dead~

Buffy and William carried on with the slow melody of the song, oblivious to everyone else in the world.

~And tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love~

She lifted her head off his shoulder and met his eyes. Liquid-y pools of azure blue. She couldn’t believe that she spent almost nine years with him and never realized how blue his eyes were. They were so beautiful…

He watched her stare thoughtfully at him and wondered what she was thinking about. He broke the locked gaze as his eyes drifted slowly down to her full lips. They were painted a appealing shade of princess pink and her strawberry lip gloss added a glittery luster to them that made them shine in the colored lights overhead. They looked so soft. He wanted to kiss her then.

~I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hang from above~

“Buffy…” He whispered, his voice changing to a huskier tone. One that he never heard himself speak in before.

~And I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love suicide
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life~

She blinked several times in order to clear her vision as tears started to come forth. It had been along time since she had been truly happy. Since before her parents started fighting every night. The wonderful emotions churning inside her sent tremors through her whole body.

~Well, I've been dropped out, I burned up,
I fought my way back from the dead~

William felt her body shake slightly, and it pulled him out of the trance he had been in. Looking back into her eyes, he silently asked what was wrong. She just shook her head and leaned in closer to press her cheek against his, as they swayed in a circular motion.

~Tuned in, turned on,
Remembered the things that you said~

She hid her face from his view so he wouldn’t see her tears. Her soft cheek was moved slightly with their feet, rubbing against his intimately. Sliding her arms more firmly around his neck she let her fingertips sift through the soft curls at the nape of his neck.

~And I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love suicide
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life~

William held his best friend in his arms as tightly as she would allow, vowing to never let her go. He began to wonder if he was falling in love with her. And prayed that she felt the same way about him…

~And I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love suicide
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life~

Cordelia watched as William held Buffy as they swayed to the gentle rhythm humming from the large speakers in the gym of Sunnydale High School. She looked on in disgust as a dreamy school-girl look appeared on Buffy’s face where it lay on William’s shoulder. She decided right then that William Giles would one day be hers.

~The greatest fan of your life…~

The bored sales assistant chewed her sticky piece of grape gum, moving her jaw rhythmically in slow circular motions, as her teeth made squishing sounds noisily. She was the only attendant on duty at the moment, and desperately wanted to take her lunch break. The three women currently sifting through a rack of half-off cashmere sweaters, had been in the store for over an hour and a half and had yet to buy something and the older woman with the huge wad of chewing gum was really on the verge of telling them to either buy something or kindly get the hell out.

“Oh, how ’bout this one?” Harmony asked in a typical valley girl accent, as she held up the soft, red sweater with a small knot on the side.

Cordelia looked up from the small stand covered in black lacy thongs and panties that stood adjacent to the one the cheery blonde was currently entertained with. Flipping her long dark hair behind her shoulders, she let her chocolate brown eyes wash over the deep red color of the sweater Harmony displayed to her.

“Eww, are you kidding me, Harm?” She exclaimed in outrage, a look of pure distaste sweeping across her face.

Harmony looked down at the garment in her hands and surveyed it self-consciously. “What?” she asked, clearly confused as to why her friend did not approve of the item of clothing. She looked up questioningly at Cordelia. “Whatssa matter with it?”

“Well, for one, the color is all wrong.” Cordy informed her, giving the bubbly blonde her full attention as she took two steps towards her, hands placed firmly on her hips. “Red is so last season. And It’s marked down for God’s sake. ” She pointed to the parcel.

Harmony seemed to being taking her friend’s advise as she thought it over. After a long pause, she smiled. “Of course it is. I’m pretty sure I read that in the latest issue of Cosmo. It’s just so tacky- leaving it out this time of year.” She gushed as if she had known all along.

“I’m sure you did.” Cordy replied absentmindedly, not really paying any notice to her. She turned to walk towards the front of the shop, where a wall lined with shelves, held various items of accessory.

“Don’t pay no attention to her. She’s just crabby ‘cause Buffy’s flying in today.” Anya told Harmony as she pushed shirt after shirt along the smooth chrome of the bar that suspended the garments from hangers. “I like it. Red’s always in season. And it’s in the half-off section, so you’ll save a fortune, which is always good for the soul.” She reminded the other bleached blonde woman cheerfully, while mentally counting the money she would save if she purchased the item.

Harmony smiled warmly at Anya, and studied the sweater again, as if trying to decide if she still liked it or not. She ran her French manicured fingertips along the neckline seem and surveyed the inner tag to make sure it was her size.

“Harm, Anya, you guys coming or not?” Cordelia called from near the open entrance of the shop that lead out into the large expanse of hallway of the Sunnydale Mall, a hint of annoyance in her voice. Shoppers were walking past her at their own pace, bags clutched tightly in their hands as they window-shopped in a thoughtful manner.

The other women’s eyes snapped up in the direction of Cordelia’s voice. Harmony took one last, longing look at the pretty sweater and looked back to Anya, who was waiting patiently for her friend. “Yeah, right. Like I would buy something as lame as this thing.” She blurted out, irritated. She slammed the hanger back on the rack, sending the shirt in a whirling motion with the force of her action.

Anya watched, confused as she then stormed out after Cordelia, before shrugging and following the other two women to the rest of the mall.

~*~*~*~*~

Willow and Tara laid in their queen size bed with the soft satin sheets draped across their naked bodies, as they cuddled in the aftermath of their intense lovemaking. Willow’s head rested heavily on the puffy cotton pillow beneath her, her vibrant red hair fanning about her head in a halo of thick scarlet locks. Her arm was thrown casually around Tara’s shoulder, while the other woman laid her blonde head atop Willow’s chest. Tara’s hair scattered in a few directions as her head rose and fell with the steady movement of Willow’s breathing.

“So, now that Buffy’s back, you think Spike will call off the wedding?” Tara wondered, trailing her fingers over the smooth skin between Willow’s breasts absentmindedly.

The redhead kept her green eyes locked in her gaze of the smooth dry-wall of the ceiling, mentally inspecting it for cracks. She let out a deep breath, one that lifted the weight of Tara’s body a few inches in the air, and sighed. “I actually have no idea. I mean, Spike? Not so much with the calling off long-term relationships because of a few complications.”

“Yeah, but he loved Buffy.” Tara countered, pushing a few strains of hair away from her face before they tangled in her dark eye lashes.

“If only it were that simple.” Willow responded, feeling very much like the fun-sucker in this whole conversation.

“But it’s Buffy!” The blonde exclaimed, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. She lifted her head to look at her girlfriend.

Willow smiled lovingly, reaching a hand behind Tara’s head to glide through her polished locks in a calming motion. “I don’t want to sound like the person who wants to rain on your parade, but I think I’ll point out the fact that it’s been over two years since Spike has seen Buffy, let alone talked to her. Maybe he’s over her.” She reasoned.

“And do you honestly believe that Spike is over her?” Tara questioned, skeptically as she narrowed her light green eyes in scrutiny.

“I really couldn’t say. You didn’t see him when he got back from New York. He was just so…broken.” She said frowning deeply from the hurt that he two best friends had to endure.

“Well, maybe the whole thing’ll turn out to be a sham. Maybe Spike’ll come to his senses, call the whole thing off, and go back with Buffy.” Tara rationalized, always the hopeless romantic.

Willow crossed her fingers and held them in front of her face for Tara to see. “Here’s hoping.” She giggled, wrapping her arms around Tara’s neck and rolling them over so she was on top.

~*~*~*~*~

Spike showed Buffy to his old room and offered to help her unpack. They had settled into a comfortable silence a few moments after the initial shock of seeing each other in years had finally subsided and were now finding it easier to just ‘be.’

Buffy followed Spike into the spacious room and gazed around. Not much had changed since the last time she had been in here. The walls were still painted in a clean-looking white color and the plush carpet was still a deep navy blue, with tiny specks of brown and green scattered throughout the layers. Two windows, standard sized, and adjacent to each other were covered in black curtains that let the bright sunlight stream into the room, where it settled on the bed and floor. A single queen size bed stood in the middle of the room, headboard pushed back flush against one of the walls. Four king size pillows lined the top half of the thick mattress and the bottom half was hidden from view on account of the bulky quilted blanket, folded in half and draped along the bed neatly. An cheap oak dresser lined the other walls and held a few old items that belonged to Jenny. Gone were the old posters of punk bands that once adorned the walls, and in their place were simple pictures in elegant frames.

Buffy moved closer to one in particular hanging on a thin nail above the dresser, that caught her interest. It was one of her and Spike at the homecoming dance four years ago. It was taken by Tara that magical night right after they had finished dancing to a slow song. Spike had looked so yummy in his tux and newly bleached hair, and Buffy couldn’t help but smile at the thought. She was dressed up in her soft pink wrap dress that brought out her newly acquired tan from her summer vacation at the beach. Her head was rested comfortably on Spike’s chest, her arms looped around his neck while his laid along her thin waist. Both had contented smiles on their young faces.

Spike watched as she let her fingers dance along the smooth glass of the frame and smiled at the sight. She was so beautiful just standing there, reminiscing about the good times between them. He remembered the night the picture was taken. Homecoming was one of the most magical nights that they had ever shared. He recalled the way that she looked that night with a smirk. Remembering her beautiful eyes and breathtaking smile as they danced in slow movements, clinging to each other for dead life.

She pulled her hand away slowly and turned around to face him.

Grasping the handles of her heavy luggage, he trudged toward the bed and dropped the load onto it’s firm mattress. Moving to the side so she could pulled the zipper around on it’s small track and flip open the lid, revealing massive amounts of clothing, he kept his blue eyes locked on her small form.

“I hope this is okay. It’s the only room that isn’t taken.” He explained, gesturing with his hands.

She looked up at him, listening as she sorted her clothes.

“I’m in da’ and Jenny’s old room. Dad’ll be flying in from London in a coupla days, and Peaches’ old room is full of boxes.” He went on to say, watching her every movement as she carried a pile of shirts over to the dresser and placed them neatly in the first drawer, leaving it open as she returned to her spot in front bed. “It’s fine.” She told him, smiling a bright smile.

“Need some help?” He asked, gesturing to the suitcase full of clothing with a slight nod.

“Sure.”

They settled into the familiar pace as they concentrated on finding a proper place for all of Buffy’s things, talking all the while. They discussed the way things had changed in Sunnydale since Buffy had last been home, and about how beautiful and bigger everything was in New York. How Giles had decided to return to England when Spike graduated, leaving the house to him to stay in while he finished his schooling at USC. How Angel had stayed out east with his biological father and met the love of his life, Darla who was due with their first child in September. Apparently she had turned Angel’s life completely around, making him change his rebellious ways to get ready for the arrival of their son. Spike said he was still the same old prick though…

“Some things never change.” Buffy said laughing. She turned to hang some things up in the closet, as Spike’s fingers caught on an article of clothing at the bottom of the suitcase. Pulling his hand out, he stared, fascinated at the little black satin panties with lace trim that hung on the middle finger of his left hand. His mouth hung open slightly as he imagined the thin garment on the blonde women in front of him, hardening considerably at the naughty images that floated around his lust altered brain.

“Some things do.” He commented, his accent becoming thicker as he remembered the white cotton panties that she had favored three years ago. He willed his erection to go away to no avail.

Buffy turned around, ready to grab another handful of hangers, when she saw what he was holding in his hands. Her hazel eyes went wide and she just stared at him staring at her panties. The color drained from her face, and her smile faded into a look of total embarrassment. A spark of arousal shot through her body at the look of pure desire on his face. Shaking her head to clear her mind, she reached out and hurriedly snatched the garment from his fingertips, blushing furiously. “Hey!”

He looked up at her suddenly movement, ready to apologize for his stupidity when she cut him off.

“Those don’t belong to you! O-obviously. I-I mean unless you developed some weird fetish in which you like to wear women’s underwear.” Buffy babbled, flustered.

Spike smirked mischievously, all thoughts of apologizing leaving his brain as a better idea popped into his mind. “Fantasize about me getting into your panties, do you, pet?” He asked smugly, grinning from ear to ear.

Buffy’s eyes went wide once again. “What!?” She exclaimed. “O-of course not!” Jeez, he must think I’m a total ditz!

He chuckled at her obvious discomfort. “Relax, pet. I was only joking.” He clarified, amused.

“Oh! R-right, joking. Making with the funny.” She stammered, stuffing the panties hastily in the bottom drawer on the dresser, and away from his hungry eyes.

There was an awkward moment of silence as the tension rose between them. Spike was the first to speak.

“So, um, how’s NYU?”

Buffy sighed, grateful for the change of topic. “Not what I expected in the least.”

“That rough, huh?” Spike speculated, handing her the last of the clothing to hang in the closet.

Buffy hung the clothes in their rightful place in the small closet and turned back to look at his face. “No, not rough, just…different. A world of change.” She told him. “I was overwhelmed the first few weeks.” She confessed.

“Oh, I know what you mean.” He sympathized with her. “I was going out of my bloody mind the whole first quarter.” He says, laughing good-naturedly.

“Really? You? The total embodiment of all things bookish and everything tweed-loving, were overwhelmed?” She said in surprise, joking lightly. “Now that’s something I’d almost like to see.”

“Not my finest moment, I’ll give you, but I got back on the bleedin’ right track and so forth.” He told her, enjoying their light banter immensely.

They both chuckled.

“So, how’s the gang?” Buffy wondered, finding a comfortable spot on the bed to sit. “They going to USC too?”

He breathed deep, letting it out as he took a seat next to the blonde on his old bed, hands in his lap. “Sure. They’re all really good. Xander finally made it out of his parents’ basement, and into a dorm.” He chuckled, and she laughed along with him, remembering the dark-haired boy that befriended her when they were both still in diapers.

“He’s actually majoring in psychology.” Spike went on to tell her, sounding very much like a proud best friend. “He wants to be a marriage therapist.”

“Guess seeing his parents fighting all the time finally made a positive impression on him.” Buffy pondered, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth to tug at it gently.

Spike’s attention was immediately drawn to her luscious mouth as he recalled himself doing the same thing three years ago. “Well, uh, Anya’s an accounting major.” He continued, trying to shake himself from his thoughts.

“She always did lover her money.” Buffy mused, a tiny laugh escaping her mouth, as she listened to him.

Spike chuckled. “Yeah, imagine how bug-shaggin’ crazy she went when she found out there was a job dealing entirely with counting it. She was bloody thrilled to no end.”

“I bet.” Buffy replied quietly, remembering that she wasn’t there to witness said event.

Spike didn’t seem to notice her uneasiness, and continued to address her earlier question. “Tara’s into women’s studies, and Willow’s studying physics…and she’s gay.”

Buffy looked up at him. “Yeah, I heard ‘bout that.” She told him, not knowing how to feel about the sudden changes in her friends’ behavior. “Wills and Tara, huh? That’s a new development.”

“Yeah, took me by surprise too.” The bleach blonde confessed.

“So what about you?” She asked suddenly, wanting to know every change in his life that she had unwillingly missed. “I hear you’re an English major.”

“You too.” He commented, smiling warmly at her.

“Yeah, well, I was surprisingly inspired by a certain young English poet.” She said pointed, leaning a little towards him, smiling sweetly.

“Wait a bloody minute!” He exclaimed, putting his hands up in mock surrender. “I inspired you?!” He asked, incredulously, blue eyes going wide in wonderment.

“‘Course. Those poems you wrote for me were amazing.” Sincerity laced her voice and he could tell that she meant it.

“Amazing? You really mean that?” He asked, still unsure. His inner William was shining forth in a moment of uncertainty.

Buffy smiled. “Yeah, I do.”

A meaningful look passed between them and they shared a moment.

Spike blinked then, and it was over as quickly as it had started. “So how’s solider boy? Didn’t he wanna come and gloat?”

As soon as the question left his mouth he regretted it.

A hurt look passed momentarily over Buffy’s hazel eyes before she answered. “How do you know about Riley?” She asked surprised.

Spike’s eyes went wide for a moment and he struggled with his words. “W-Willow must have mentioned it at one time or ‘nother.” He stammered with as much of a nonchalant shrug that he could muster, praying that she bought it.

Buffy frowned in confusion, but said nothing.

Then, finally, “We broke up.” She informed him, sadly.

He wasn’t sure if it was because she felt bad that he knew she had moved on or because she missed Riley.

“That is if you can call what we had a relationship.” She breathed, running her hands through her blonde hair. “It never was really relationship-y, ya know?”

This comment thrilled Spike to no end.

“God, what made you think of him?” She asked, shocked, as she met his stare. “He and I haven’t even seen each other since before he left for boot camp.”

“Oh, I was just wondering really.” He said a little too quickly. “Didn’t know you two broke up, is all.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t exactly ready for what he wanted.” She admitted to her best friend. God, how I wish he was more than that… she thought.

“Oh?” Spike posed, raising his scarred eyebrow. “And what was it that he wanted from you, ducks?” He was almost afraid to hear the answer. If that ponce pressured her into having sex with him, I’ll hunt his Captain America ass down and beat some sense into him. He thought.

Buffy looked away for a moment before returning her gaze to his questioning one. She bit her lip again in nervousness.

“He wanted me, to um, love him.” She told him, the ‘L’ word rolling over her tongue in sharp distaste.

Oh, that luscious lip…He thought hungrily.

Spike was taken aback by this statement. She didn’t love white bread? “And you didn’t?”

“Not when I still loved you.” She replied in a tiny voice, almost to soft to hear. She didn’t meet his eyes, but rather remained quite occupied with fingering the loose threads of the quilt. Spike said nothing, but just watched the emotions play across her beautiful face. He silently wondered if she still loved him.

The way that he did her.

Please Review

Four years ago, Sunnydale:

Joyce stared at the white door that lead to her fifteen year old daughter’s bedroom and sighed deeply. The poor girl had not come out of her room for almost three days, only when necessary, and Joyce was worried terribly about her.

Buffy had been acting strangely all week and hardly ever wanted to go next door to visit William. It was as if the petite blonde had suddenly lost all interest in the life of her very best friend in the whole world. And this concerned Joyce immensely. The sanded-haired mother had tried to coax her daughter to open up and tell her what had happened so quickly as to make her do a complete 180, but Buffy would only mumble a meek, “Nothing,” and precede to go to her room and turn the stereo up full blast.

Joyce shook her head uneasily and placed a hand on the flat grains of the door.

It had all started on the first day of Summer vacation. The day had started out normal enough, even pleasant, for everyone. All the children were so happy to have an entire summer off of school to do with however they wanted. Buffy had woken up a whole hour early than what she normally did and proceeded to get ready to spend the day with her close-knit group of friends at the beach.

And when the door bell rang at nine, Joyce wasn’t surprised to find Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, and William, with his recently bleached locks and new attire. They were all, save William, dressed completely in their best beachwear, ready to welcome the sun with huge smiles.

Now Joyce considered herself young enough to understand the rather unique phases that teenagers went through, but this was the kind of thing that threw her for a loop. She just couldn’t grasp the reason why a nice, studious, handsome young man would go to such great lengths to change his entire appearance so suddenly, or why it had to be similar to Billy Idol.

Joyce, along with Giles downright refused to call him by that ridiculous nickname of his, and had only just recently began to except his choice of clothing and hair color. They really had absolutely no idea what had possessed him to make such a drastic change, although they suspected it had a lot to do with the most recent addiction to the Scooby gang, as they liked to call themselves.

~*~*~*~

Buffy had come rushing down the stairs, smiling cheerfully at her friends in the doorway. Her blonde hair was held up atop her head loosely by a small pony tail holder, and a few rebellious strands had escaped to frame her round face . Her ever-sparkling hazel eyes were outlined in a soft pink shadow and there was a faint shade of rose that adorned her curved cheek bones. Shiny gloss had bee freshly applied to her full lips in the palest shade of pink that she owned.

Joyce’s eyes threaten to fill with tears as she took in the appearance of her eldest daughter, and realized how much she had grown up in the last few months.

Buffy’s friends smiled warmly at the girl they all consider the leader of the group. She was the very glue that held them all together, and without her they surely wouldn’t still be as close as they all were.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, Buffy handed her beach gear off to
Tara and greeted everyone with a joyful hello and another dazzling smile. Joyce paid close attend to William and his reaction to her daughter’s entrance. Something in his awed expression lead her to believe that he cared for her daughter in a way that the tiny blonde did not know. Every time she walked into the room he would light up for a moment, then try to hide it behind a few teasing remarks that he sent her way. Joyce thought it was absolutely adorable and even encouraged it in some way, although she never made her realization known.

She watched, not unnoticed, but not obvious to the rest of the young adults in the room, and picked up bits and pieces of their conversation here and there. She heard Willow mention something about she and Tara needing to get a little more sun, and Anya saying that she was so glad that she had at last found a job that paid generously enough for her to be able to finally afford her dream car. But it was the last thing that William had mentioned that had caused a great silence to befall on the group.

‘Faith said she’d met us there. So we’d best be on or way, pet.’

Joyce noticed the abrupt change in her daughter’s attitude and watched attentively as the smile that once spread across the blonde’s face fall into a slight frown that she tried to hide unsuccessfully. The others in the group, including William watched as her approach changed and she distanced herself from whatever the day had in store for her.

‘Faith’s comin’?’

She probably thought she did a good jump in hiding the annoyance in her voice, and to her friends she most likely had, but no one could fool Joyce, especially not Buffy. She saw right through the fake barriers her daughter built around her heart to protect herself , and on some days, she admired her for being such an adult about tough situations, but at other times, she just wanted to grab her eldest daughter and give her a good shake to get her to snap of her foolish isolationism.

This was one of those times.

If she would just let whatever was in her head and heart out, maybe everything would right itself and the fifteen year old wouldn’t have to cut herself off from the people she cared about because she felt threatened. Joyce really truly believed that Buffy and William would make a nice couple, and wished she could do something, anything, to make the two see how they really felt.

But who ever listened to her? Was she invisible?

Slipping out of the room quietly, watching to make sure no one noticed her departure into the small hallway besides the stairs. She still remained in earshot and although she couldn’t watch all their reactions, she listened as best she could.

‘Well, yeah, pet. We are dating now.’

‘That’s fine, I just didn’t know we inducted her into the Scooby gang so soon, is all.’

‘Thought it was a given since she and I started-’

‘Dating, yeah, I know. You have to keep reminding us all the damn time?’

The motherly part of Joyce wanted to rush in there at once and correct her daughter for her coarse language, but she stood her ground and just listened quietly as the two blondes picker back and forth, the others in the group listening too.

‘What’s that s’posed to mean? You gotta problem with Faith?’

‘What if I did?’

‘You know, you’ve been a right bint these last few weeks. There something you need to tell me?’

‘Well, maybe the reason I’m being such a bint, as you call it, is because I can’t stand the way you two act around each other.’

‘Wha’sa matter with the way we act around each other, Buffy?’

‘Oh, nothing, if you’re tryin’ to make the rest of us die of nausea.’

Joyce had to smile at that. It was cute how they both hid behind anger. Buffy saying that the couple were nauseating was probably her way of concealing the jealously she felt.

‘Can’t ‘elp it if we both find each other attractive.’

‘Well you don’t have to ‘find each other attractive’ right under my nose. It’s incredibly gross to watch you two sticking your tongues down each others throat.’
‘So what, now I can’t kiss my girlfriend, pet?’

‘Not in front of me, you can’t!’

There is was. Joyce had been right, just jealously where Buffy portrayed nausea to be. She had to bite back a laugh at that. Tuning back in, she listened to Willow finally intervene.

‘Guys, let’s not fight, okay? This is supposed to be a happy day, remember? No school for a whole summer?’

‘Ya, man, no homework, or weird English teachers with B.O., and best of all, no Coldelia!’

‘You’re right, Xander, this week is about carefree fun. Let’s get out of this hot house and head to the beach. Mom we’re leaving!’

Joyce waited a moment before she came into view from around the corner, needing them to think she’d been in the kitchen the whole time. “Have a good time, sweetie. Be careful though. Remember not to swim right after you eat.”

Buffy rolled her eyes at her mother, while the others just smiled, amused. “Check, no drowning myself in the ocean with a load full of pinic-y goodness.”

“I’m serious, Buffy. I want to know you’re safe.”

“And I will be mom, don’t worry. We’ll be fine.” She replied, following her friends out the door into the hot summer sun.

“Oh, and don’t forget to wear your seat belt!” Joyce called out, tilting her head in an attempt to make the sound of her voice each her daughter’s ears.

“I will.” Buffy said, smiling back as she waved to her mother. “Bye.”

~*~*~*~

Joyce took a deep breath before she raised her fist to knock on Buffy’s bedroom door. She didn’t hear any response right away and reached down to turn the handle when she caught the sound of her daughter’s voice, slightly garbled by the barrier between them.

“I’m fine, mom. I’ll be down in a while.”

She sounded sad and that made Joyce frown even more. “You sure you’re okay, sweetie?”

“Yeah, I just wanna be alone, that’s all.”

Joyce sighed once more, before she turned and walked away.

~*~*~*~

Two months later, Sunnydale:

In silence, Buffy and Faith waited in the deserted hallway of Sunnydale High, sitting on opposite ends of a long wooden bench, putting as much space between them as they were allowed to. They hadn’t looked at each other once, each deliberately looking straight in front of them at the aged tan wall that framed the other side of the hallway.

Buffy stared straight ahead at the wall, as if daring it to stare back and was silent. She didn’t move once since the principal had brought them both here, on the bench outside his office, ten minutes ago. She sighed as loudly as she could, not caring if she attracted the attention of the dark hair girl on the further end of the bench. Leaning on her left arm, she used her right to sift through the wicked knots in her honey colored hair, wincing when she unintentionally rubbed a finger against a sore spot on her scalp. She gritted her teeth when she found the rather large lump there, and she tired to ignore the stinging ache there.

The angry red mark on her right cheek looked much worse than her hair and actually much worse than it felt. She gingerly brought her hand back up and used her index finger to lightly touch the small cut above her right eye and realized that it too was very tender. This time she felt stronger and was able to hold back her grimace, not wanting to give the other girl any satisfaction.

Finally tearing her gaze away from the wall, she looked down at the numerous little bruises and scratches that adorned her sun-kissed limbs and rolled her eyes before adverting her stare to Faith.

The brunette girl looked a lot more worse for wear and had a lot more square surface covered in bruises. The tiny, black tank she wore gave anyone who would look a nice view of not just her boobs-which by the way she flaunted everywhere-by also of the angry bits of flesh that were turning shades of red, purple, and green. Her dark hair looked just as bad as the blonde’s and it the knots in it said anything, it would be that she had some pretty big lumps on her head too. Both of her plump cheeks were black-and-blue and she had a busted lip that seemed to leek a drop or so of blood every few minutes or so. She would then lift her hand and hastily wipe at it, as if she felt disgusted at the very action.

Sensing eyes on her, Faith turned to look at her assaulter, and chuckled. “So who do ya think won, B?”

But Buffy didn’t look amused and narrowed her eyes at the other girl. “Don’t know, don’t care. Wasn’t about winning.”

“That right? That why you attacked me outside in the courtyard?” Faith asked, her voice full of contempt.

Buffy shrugged, unconcerned about the damage either one of them caused.

“’Cause you deserved it. Anyone who hurts people that I care about will have to hear from me, and the way I see it? I had ever right to ‘attack’ you in the courtyard.”

“Oh, brave little Buffy coming to her lap dog’s rescue. I wonder what the medal will say?” Faith snarled, her chocolate brown eyes darkening to an even deeper shade.

“Doesn’t matter. I think I got my point across. Don’t you?” Buffy gave her wicked smile, letting her know just who she was messing with.

“Oh, yeah, loud and clear, B. Which, I’m guessing was very difficult from the way you look.” Faith laughed unkindly.

“You’re the one with the busted lip, Faith.” The blonde pointed out in an even voice. Faith instantly shut up.

“Oh, yeah, I’m real scared. I better watch my back.”

Buffy didn’t like the sarcastic tone in her voice and was quick to shoot back, “If you think it will help, why not, right?”

“You gonna beat up Angel too?” She asked suddenly, although not really caring either way. “Wager he probably deserves it as much as I do. I mean, I couldn’t fuck myself now could I?”

“Angel will get what’s coming to him. Giles will see to that.” Buffy told her, turning to look back at the wall in front of her.

Faith chuckled, clearly amused by the blonde’s last comment. “Oh? Is daddy gonna give him a good spankin’?”

“Shut up, Faith.” Buffy responded, not sparing her a glance.

“You know what I think?” The dark-haired girl continued without even waiting to see if Buffy would answer. “I think you’re jealous.”

That got Buffy’s attention. She turned her neck to look at Faith so sharply that it almost cracked.

“Jealous?” She huffed. “Jealous?! Oh what? You?” She gave a short snort that almost became a laugh. “Please! Don’t flatter yourself. You have nothing for me to even ‘be’ jealous of.”

“I have Spike.”

“Had, sweetie. As in past tense. You think he’s gonna want you after you went behind his back and slept with his brother?” Buffy questioned her seriously.

But Faith wasn’t fazed. “Have, had, whatever. The point is that I had him first.”

Buffy tried to ignore the piercing ache that she felt in her heart at Faith’s last statement.

‘The point is that I had him first.’

She shook her head to rid herself of the jealous thoughts she was having. But Faith wasn’t planning on letting up anytime soon.

“Did you know I was his first? He’d never been with a woman before me, B.” She said venomously. She had an evil little smirk on her lips that Buffy so wanted to smack right off of her.

Instead, she clinched her fists. Hard.

“You’d never imagine it’d be someone like me, B, didcha?”

“Shut up, Faith.”

“You’d thought it’d be you, huh? ‘Cause you guys are just ‘so’ close. It must kill to know that I got there first, right, B?”

“Shut up!” Buffy stood then, arms straight at her side, fists clinching so hard she though she’d break the skin of her palm with her nails. She was so afraid that if she didn’t keep them like that, then she would haul off and punch Faith in the nose again. And she didn’t that restarting a fight outside Snyder’s office would do her any good if she wasn’t already kicked out anyway. And, God, she didn’t even wanna think about what her mother would say…

Faith laughed in her face like it was the funniest thing she’d even seen in her life. “You really believed it’d be you, didn’t you?”

The truth was however, that Buffy really did always picture them losing their virginities together at some point in their lives. It was a little fantasy that had started out as them kissing when she had been nine, and grew from there as she got older and realized that there was so much more you could do with a person besides kissing.

She’d spent days, weeks even, mourning in her room with the stereo turned up as high as it would go, when she had found out that Spike was dating Faith. She spent even more time depressed, alone in her room when she found out from Xander that Spike had lost his virginity to the dark-aired tramp. She had avoided Spike, after that, at all cost. She couldn’t go on pretending that she didn’t know what she knew, and she didn’t want things to be different with them. How could she look at the boy in front of her and not realize that he was no longer her Spike, her William? How could she handle it when she realized that he now belonged to Faith?

“I hate you.” Buffy seethed, hazel eyes full of anger.

“Feeling’ mutual, B.”

Just then the office door behind them opened, and a furious Joyce came out. “Buffy? In the car. Now!”

~*~*~*~

“I just don’t know what to do with you, Buffy. I really don’t” Joyce’s eyes never left the road she addressed her daughter. “You started a fight. And on the first day of school, no less.”

Buffy sit in the passenger sit of the green SUV as it rolled through another green light and slowed to turn a corner. “I said I was sorry, mom.”

Joyce sighed. “I know you did, but Buffy, you could have gotten into so much trouble. I actually had to talk Snyder out of expelling you.”

Buffy didn’t look at her mother, but kept her gaze directed outside as she watched street signs and houses pass by.

Joyce glazed over to her sulking daughter and asked her what was wrong.

“Nothing.”

“Don’t you do that Buffy. Don’t shut me out of your life because you think that I wouldn’t understand or some nonsense. I need to know what goes on in that pretty head of yours.” Joyce’s voice soften as she smiled lovingly at Buffy.

Buffy finally turned to look at the older woman and sighed. “It was about Spike, mom.”

“Spike?” Joyce frowned, confused. “How is you beating up a girl at school in any way related to Spike…except for the girl being his girlfriend and all, I guess.”

“Faith cheated on him mom. With Angel.” Buffy said sadly, as if she were feeling the bleached-blonde’s emotions like they were her own.

“Oh, honey that awful.” Joyce said, instantly disliking Faith already more than she did the first time she had met her. “How’s he taking it?”

“I really wouldn’t know, mom. He hasn’t been around for the last two days. I just found out from Willow and Xander today. Apparently, Spike didn’t feel I should know.” Buffy replied, disheartened.

“Oh, I’m sure he didn’t mean to leave you out of the loop, honey. He probably just wanted some time alone, is all.” Joyce tried to reason with her fifteen years old daughter.

“I know,” Buffy breathed. She turned to revert her attention back to the window, wondering how one slut bomb like Faith McKinney could cause so much damage.




A/N: Thanks to Enchantress, spikes slayer, gypsy_jin, Nic (Smitten),and BuffyandSpikeForever. Please review and go visit Smitten's site www.bittersweetspike.com.

The front door slammed shut down stairs, rattling the windows of the house and breaking the tender moment as reality crashed back into them. Both blondes looked away and remained silent as they heard hard footsteps on the stairs. Spike stood up once more and made his way around the bed and towards the door, which had slipped partly closed during their conversation.

Buffy looked up to watch as he reached for the handle on the door and pulled it back open, silently wishing that they had not be interrupted by the sounds approaching steadily toward the second floor and to her new room. She absentmindedly picked up the last pair of her designer panties and turned to place them along side the rest of the them, in the top drawer, when the prom queen herself stepped into the room, wanting to claim back her throne.

“Spike? What’re you doing up h-” The tall brunette stopped abruptly when her gaze fell onto the small blonde with her back towards her. “What’s 'she' doing here?” She asked snottily.

Buffy’s blonde head whipped around and she had her first glimpse of Cordelia Chase in three years. “Cordy.” She acknowledged, doing her best to cover up the deep dislike for the cheerleader.

Spike watched, in silence, as his fiancé and his old flame were locked into, what looked like, an incredibly intense staring contest. The two woman appeared to sizing each other up, determining if either was threatening enough to take down. Both stood as rigid and unyielding as the other, and neither looked as though they were willing to give any ground to the other.

Cordy swung her hips to the side and placed her hands on them sharply, in an attempt to look more menacing.

Buffy followed suit with her own hip swing and then crossed her arms across her chest, never taking her eyes off the dark-haired woman opposite her.

Spike cleared his throat in an effort to break the uncomfortable silence.

“Buffy.” Cordy, then smiled cheerfully in fake enthusiasm, dropping her stiff stance and walking over to Spike to take her spot beside her fiancé, looping her arm through his and marking her territory.

Buffy felt her stomach recoil in her abdomen at the sight before her, and had to force back a very unladylike snort. She stayed silent though, as Cordy continued to speak.

“How are you?” Cordy asked, gripping Spike’s arm tighter, as if subconsciously keeping him from fleeing into the arms of the other woman. “And why are you ‘here’?”

“She’s staying here, pet.” Spike chimed in, figuring now was a good time to try to relieve some of the tension. His gaze never left Buffy’s, something that did not go unnoticed by the woman at his side.

“She’s what?!” Cordelia cried out in indignation. Her chocolate colored eyes went wide and she looked up at Spike like he had lost his mind. “Here? Like ‘here’ here?”

Spike finally tore his eyes from Buffy’s and looked down to the enraged woman, clinging to his voraciously.

“That would be the here.” Buffy suddenly interjected. She had a pleasant smile on her face, and was thoroughly amused at Cordy’s distress.

Spike held back an pleased chuckled at her antics. Cordy unlaced her arm from his and took a step sideways, careful to hold her ground, and not let Buffy gain on her. She waited a beat before responding with a straightforward, answer. “No.”

“No?” Spike asked her, curiously.

“No. She isn’t staying in this house.” Cordelia confirmed both their reservations. She adverted her look from Spike to Buffy and gave he a distasteful once over.

But Buffy held her standpoint. “Ya know, that would be entirely more agreeable if this was in any way ’your’ house!”

Cordy took a few steps toward the irritated blonde, crossing her arms over her chest, and narrowing her eyes. “Listen here, Blondie. I’m not about to let any ex’s stay in my fiancé’s house two weeks before our wedding!”

Her voice held a threatening quality to it that didn’t really impress Buffy. She too took a few steps closer to Cordy. “I really don’t think you have a choice, Princess!” She shot back, equally as threatening.

Spike kept quiet through it all, not wanting to have either girl’s wrath shot in his direction. He just stood there, hands down at his sides, watching, unsure of what to do, as the two went at it.

“Oh, I think I do! You’re gonna get out, or I’m gonna make get out!” She took another step.

“I’d like to see you try!” Another step.

They were almost nose to nose now, and Spike figured now would be a good time to intervene before this got out of control. “Okaay, and on that note…” Spike trailed off, taking a giant step in the direction of the two, smiling widely, and clapping his hands together. Suddenly his attitude became very serious. “You two need to back down. This is gettin’ to be a bit ridiculous.”

He paused, watching to gage their reactions. Buffy just looked at him expectantly, knowing from experience that he wasn’t nearly done. Cordelia used to right hand to flip back her dark locks in a move that rivaled all shampoo commercials and gave him an annoyed look, clearly not too happy with him interrupting their argument.

Taking a deep breath, Spike continued, wanting to sort everything out and get on with the day. “Cordy, Buffy’s gonna stay here ‘til the wedding, because the isn’t anymore room for her at Hank’s. Buffy, you can finish unpacking, while I go take a shower…and please try to ignore Cordy’s Bitchiness.”

At that, Buffy laughed, and Cordelia fumed even more.

“Bitchiness?!” She repeated, now livid with him. “You’re the one who moved in your ex-girlfriend right before our wedding, and I’m the bitch?! You won’t even let me move in until for another two weeks!”

“You’re the one who hates the bleedin’ house, Cordelia!” He yelled, not believing her nerve.

“Well, why can’t she stay at her own house?” She whined, sounded very much like Harmony when he father wouldn’t give her the credit card.

“Because there s’not enough room,” Spike said calmly and slowly, as though he were explaining the situation to a child…which was basically the circumstance anyway. “Hank’s got all your aunt’s crap packed in there from one bloody side of the room to the other right now.” He said while pointing to Buffy.

Buffy said nothing, and continued to unpack. She was enjoying this way too much, but who cared? ‘I have the right to enjoy it. That skank stole my boyfriend!’ She thought.

“Whatever!” Cordelia huffed, giving up on the issue. She’d see to it that that blonde bitch got what she deserved. Having her here was just something she would have to live with until she and Spike got married. Then she’d never have to feel threaten by Buffy again. She was sure that Spike would never break his wedding vows, even for blondie over there.

“I gotta run anyway. Harm and I are gonna meet up with Anya after I stop at daddy’s to talk honeymoon plans. We still need to pick up some stuff for the bachelorette party on Saturday.” She told him, grabbing her purse off the night stand, where she had laid it upon entering the room, and searched inside it for her car keys.

“I thought you wanted to go bronzing tonight with the gang?” Spike questioned, perturbed by her ‘rich girl’ attitude. He ran a hand through his slicked back locks, loosening the bleached curls.

Buffy smiled at his actions. He always did that when he was upset. She shook her head, nostalgically, and went back to folding her socks.

“You are the one always complainin’ you’re not apart of the group, pet.” Spike pointed out to his fiancé.

Cordy snickered amusedly, “Apart of the group? You mean those sad little rejects coming together to sit and talk about how dull their love lives are? No thank you, I think I’ll pass. That’s not a group. Psychotherapy for the dating-impaired is more like it.”

“As opposed to a bunch of air headed cheerleaders sitting around telling each other how much better their shoes are than everybody else?” Buffy interposed, smiling one of her best ‘I-hate-you-bitch’ smiles, one that she had picked up over the years from Cordelia and Harmony. “Oh, and kudos on using the word psychotherapy in a sentence. Didn’t know you knew such big words, Cor.”

If looks could kill, Buffy would have been dead as soon as Cordelia’s eyes landed on her and sent their icy glare her way.

Luckily for her, Buffy had ‘brainless cheerleader’ insurance.

~*~*~*~

A/N: I know, not as long as the last update, but at least I’m moving faster, right? I’m trying so hard not to keep you guys waiting too long. I hope to have the next chappy up by tomorrow night. No, wait, I PROMISE to have the next chappy up by tomorrow night. Thanks to all who reviewed. And to CraZy4SpikE09, about the “pet” and “luv” thing when Spike was seven, I always imagined, him hearing Giles use it a lot with his own mother before she died, and again with Jenny, so I thought he might imitate him to sound more like him. That make sense? Anyway, keep reviewing and I’ll keep writing.

Love to all,
Saltygoodness

~*~*~*~

4 yrs. ago, Sunnydale:

Striding easily into the club, Spike smiled at some people he knew from school and some from his new job at the local store that his dad recently bought, The Magick Box. He even waved here and there to a few people who he had met at his mother’s funeral so many years ago. His long leather duster swung in the movement of his body as he came to a sudden stop to survey he crowd for Buffy. Craning his neck as high as he could get it, Spike ranked his piercing blue eyes around the club, briefly scanning every dancing head in the building. His eyes sparkled in the overhead strobe lights that seemed to go along with the loud, pulsating beat of the music blasting from at least ten different speakers set up strategically around the entire building. His bleached hair made him stand out, and he hoped that Buffy would see him and make her way over to say hi.

Upon not finding the petite blonde, he continued walking through the Bronze, now in search of an empty table. Realizing that some dancers of the female variety were blatantly checking him out, Spike smiled a sexy grin at them, and enjoyed their reaction to him.

“She’s not here.” Spike turned around in the sound of the soft voice and smiled when he saw Willow giving him a knowing smirk.

“And who would that be, pet?” He asked, already knowing that he had no chance of playing off his disappointment at finding out that Buffy wasn’t there. The tiny redhead in front of him seemed to know exactly what he was thinking about all the think when it came to her best friend.

“Don’t play coy with me, mister. I know you were just looking for Buffy.” She poked him in the shoulder, accusingly, giving him one of her famous mock scowls.

“Do you now, red? And why is this?” He asked, coyly, just to see if he could get a rise out of her.

“Who else are you currently totally enamored with, Spike?” She questioned perceptively. She crossed her arms over to chest, waiting for his reply. ‘Which had better be a good one.’ She thought.

“Why, you, of course, pet. You just know how I can’t resist your feminine wiles.” He grinned, teasingly.

She laughed goodheartedly.

“Aww, you’re sweet.” She reached up on her tip-toes and threw her long arms around his neck to pull him into a hug. He instinctively wrapped his leather-clad arms around her tiny waist and returned her affectionate display. She chuckled softly form where her mouths rested on his shoulder, near his ear. “A terrible liar, but definitely sweet.”

He laughed softly at her comment and released her as she sat herself back firmly back on the soles of her feet again. She continued to look up at him, careful to have eye contact. ‘Good ol’ Red, following all the communication rules to the T’ He thought, fondly.

“So, if she isn’t here, where is Buffy?” He asked, curiously.

“Oh, apparently, Mrs. Summers and Hank are going at it again, and she wanted to stay there to look after Dawnie, and make sure it didn’t get rough or anything.” Willow informed him, a sympathetic look marring her features. They all felt really bad for Buffy and Dawnie right now. With their mom and dad fighting almost every night, things were always hectic and intense, and they never had a moment to themselves anymore to just be kids. Especially Buffy, who always felt it was her responsibility to look after Dawn, or settle disagreements between her parents.

To make a long story shorter, Buffy had inadvertently made herself very scarce around the gang and they all were very worried and missed her a lot.

“Again? Bloody hell, those you have it out almost every night these days! You’d think after fighting so bloody much, they’d tire themselves out.” Spike cried, thoroughly pissed off at whatever was keeping his best friend from spending time with him. He and Buffy hadn’t really gotten a chance to really hang out since right after the Faith incident.

Buffy had come over to see him, demanding to know why he hadn’t been in school for almost a week and why he didn’t feel she needed to know about Faith. When he had explained to her that he wasn’t trying to hide it from her, but that he was just extremely embarrassed with the whole situation, she calmed down and they were able to sit together, up in his room, listening to his Sex Pistols CD and talking about nothing in particular. It was just like the old days before Faith had shown up on the scene and buggered everything to hell.

A few weeks after that, Angel had announced that he was moving to Los Angeles to stay with his biological father, a big-shot music producer named Lorne. The older boy had attempted numerous times to apologize for the harm he had caused his brother, and to try to work things out enough so they could be civil with each other. Spike, however, was not so willing to forgive and forget just yet, and hadn’t bothered to even try. Giles had let his step-son know that Spike would eventually come around and the only thing to do now would be to wait until he was ready to make amends.

After that, Buffy had practically brought everything she owned and put it in Angel’s old room, where she camped out on most nights.

And that’s how good everything had gotten, until Hank had to go and shag his bleedin’ secretary, and ruin not only his life, but his daughters’ as well.

“Yeah, you know how they’ve been. Hank wants to pretend nothing ever happened, and Joyce is teetering on the edge of serving him with divorce papers.” Willow shrugged, by now accustomed to these situations, having basically grown up in Xander’s parents’ house, where fighting was a daily occurrence, and getting completely wasted was the norm.

“So where’s the gang then?” Spike wondered, holding his bottom lips between his teeth and biting down slightly, obviously an act of great concentration or puzzlement.

“Oh, they’re around. Tara went to the ladies’ room, and Xander and Anya were playing pool near the bar.” She told him, waving her arms about in all the different directions she had mentioned.

“Right,” He said, nodding his head in the direction of the pool tables, “How ‘bout we see how bad Anya beatin’ the whelp at pool then?”

“Sure.”

They walked side by side, Willow slightly in front, toward the pool tables, when suddenly Cordelia stepped in front of Spike. “So Spike, where’s Buffy? Having another dire family crisis, are we?”

Spike sighed when he saw who was blocking his path. Watching as Willow stopped to give him a questioning look, Spike shooed her off with a headshake and a reassuring smile, which she returned, before continuing on her way toward the rest of the gang, careful to keep an eye out for any one of Cordelia’s tricks to her friend.

“Shove off, Cordelia. I don’t really fancy having to waste my night by arguing with you.” He told her, barely sparing her a glance.

“Hey, now who said I was here to argue. Maybe I’m just here to converse with you, as it is my duty as your future prom queen.” She smiled a sugary fake smile. “You know how it is. Campaigning, I mean. Not that you wouldn’t make a good queen, but...” She snorted, pleased with her antics.

“Please, Cordelia. I wouldn’t vote for you if you were handing out free shots of tequila.” Spike replied, trying to push his way past her and make his way to where Willow had already gone.

But she wasn’t put off in the least and blocked his way once more. “Come on, Spike, level with me here. Say, is our brave little hero off beating up more of your girlfriends? Oh, wait, that can’t be right, can it? You don’t have any other ones, do you? The only girl brave enough to touch you with a ten foot pole was that psycho slut Faith.” She sneered, an evil glint in her dark eyes.

“God, don’t you have anything better to do than annoy me? Shouldn’t you be off hanging with your mates, swinging those bloody pom-poms around, braiding each others’ hair and all?” He said, expressionless.

He moved to get around her.

She stepped into his way again.

“You wanna dance?” She blurted out suddenly.

Spike stopped dead in his tracks. “What?! Are you bloody insane?!”


She gave him a wounded look and replied, “I can say, fairly certain, that I’m not.”

“You just insulted me, and my friend, and now you want me to dance with you?” He asked her, incredulously.

“Yeah.” She said slowly, drawing it out like a true California blonde. “So, whatdaya say? Wanna dance?”

Spike pretended to be considering it, when he all of a sudden said, “Yeah, I actually do, pet.” He looked over her shoulder, “With that tall, redheaded girl near the pool tables. Think I gotta shot?”

He chuckled at the horrified look on her face. Apparently, Queen C had never been shot down before, besides when Xander kissed Willow. She was quiet for a long while and Spike was beginning to think that she didn’t have a comeback, but then she unexpectedly spoke.

“Oh, I get it,” She said, eyes narrowing in suspicion, as she pointed an accusing finger at him. “You’ll follow blondie around making stupid little moon eyes, waiting, praying that she’ll give you a crumb, but you won’t dance with me?”

“That ‘bout sums it up, pet. Now if you’ll excuse me..” He said, trailing off, as he began to maneuver he way around her.

“You know, one of these days, you’re gonna wake up and recognize that you’re spending way too much time waiting on a girl that will never realize you even exist. You’re just one pathetic loser.” She laughed harshly.

Spike was silent, and just gave her a hateful look, before walking off to join his friends.

Cordy chuckled. “Score one for the prom queen!”

And then she turned around and walked away in the opposite direction.

~*~*~*~
Two weeks later:

“Wills, I don’t really think this is a good idea. What if-”

“No, more what if’s, Buffy. You’re here for some me time…well, not so much ‘me’ time, as in ‘you’ time, but you get the idea. The point is you’ve been closing yourself of from everybody these last few weeks, and you deserve to have some R and R after everything you’ve been trough.” Willow told her, while practically having to drag her into the Bronze.

“It’s just that dad’s on another one of his business trips and mom’s home alone. Not to mention, the whole leaving-Dawn-with-Giles thing is a totally bad idea.” Buffy gushed, trying to weasel her way out of being there. She felt that she was needed at home a lot more now and helping to take care of Dawnie. Bronzing with the gang on a Saturday night certainly wouldn’t help with any of the major issues at home.

“Giles, can handle it, Buff. Trust me. And your mom said that she thought you deserved a night out with the gang.” Willow explained, spotting an empty table and quickening her pace in order to snatch it before someone else did. The Bronze was always so busy on Saturday.

“But what if she’s just saying that because she feels guilty? What i-” Buffy’s long list of excuses was cut short by her redheaded best friend.

“What did I say about the ‘what if’s’, huh? Look at this face.” She pointed to her famously determined expression she was currently sporting. “This is my resolve face.
Nobody can argue when I have my resolve face on.”

Buffy smiled for the first time in three weeks. “Okay, I give up. I crumble before the resolve face every time and you know it.” She chuckled.

“Damn straight.” Willow smiled, as they both took their seats at the table. Both girls laughed joyfully at that.

“Buffster!” Xander exclaimed, running up to the table with Anya, Tara and Spike trailing not too far behind him. He grabbed her into a big bear hug which she hesitantly returned. “Glad to see you’ve finally made it out of the confines of your house. We all thought you were on house arrest.”

She laughed softly. “Good to see you too, Xan.”

“So I’m guessing you’re here to look for a nicely, well-built beefcake to give you many orgasms? Surly, being coped up in that house for so long, without any stud-ly types, has left you with a strong urge to go out and fornicate, right?” Anya asked brightly. She smiled fondly at the other blonde before sitting down in one of the open chairs next to Xander. She had a drink in her hand, and sipped at it casually, not noticing the way the others all looked at her as if she‘s just grown two heads.

“Wow!” Buffy breathed. “You caught me.” She laughed, jokingly.

Turning back to look at the other two people yet to speak, Buffy smiled warmly, and stood to give hugs. “Hey Tara.”

“Hi Buffy.” The dark blonde girl said shyly, returning the hug tentatively. “It’s n-nice to s-see you again.” She stuttered sweetly.

“You too.” Buffy let her go, and she took her place in the chair beside Willow. Buffy then turned to Spike, who was standing beside her expectantly. Her full pink lips cracked into the brightest smile she had experienced in weeks. She flung herself into his arms, and wound her arms around his neck. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Spike closed his muscular arms around her small frame and squeezed gently, closing the embrace. He buried his nose into her honey blonde hair and inhaled her intoxicating scent. Vanilla and Jasmin. He could never get enough of it. “I’ve missed you too, pet. ‘S bloody good to see you.”

“Mmm,” She responded, holding on to him for dear life. God how she missed him. The way he smelled. It was so exhilarating. Like mint and tobacco, although he swore he would quit that nasty habit he had picked up from Faith.

When they pulled apart, they both blushed and sat down in the other two empty chairs. The gang, who had witnessed every smile, blush, and whispered word, were all smiles and smirks.

“What?” Buffy asked, not sure what they were so entertained with.

“Nothin’” Willow shrugged it off and they all went back to their normal playful banter and witty remarks.

It was good to have the gang all together again.

~*~*~*~

Present, Sunnydale:


After Spike had gotten rid of Cordelia, Buffy had finished unpacking while he took a shower, just like he’d suggested. Once everything that she had managed to stuff into her suitcases was emptied out and placed in it’s proper place, Buffy went down stairs to explore the house. It hadn’t changed much in three years time. Little things, like knick knacks and pictures had been replaced or relocated, and Spike’s vast collection of DVD movies had expanded immensely in the time she’d spent in New York.

All and all, it was the same house where she had split her time growing up in, and this comforted her. It was home, and familiar, and that was just the way she liked it. It saddened her to know that after the wedding, when Cordelia moved in, she would most likely redecorate everything. She’d probably throw out every single thing in the house that reminded Buffy of the ten years she’s spent here with Spike and Giles…hell, even Angel.

Glancing around the room one last time, making sure she commit everything memory, Buffy sighed. If memories were the only thing she would be allowed to keep after the wedding, then she’d best start now, and learn to live with them only. She could do it.

She thought she could at least.

Buffy’s hazel eyes then landed on the little wooden side table positioned by the wall adjacent to the front door. Spike and Giles had always used that table to toss that keys onto when the arrived home after along day of school, work, or both. But the thing that made her stop and take a second look was the dark wooden picture frame, that had been knocked over by something or someone, and was now face down on the surface of the table.

She made her way over to it, curious expression never leaving her face. Picking the frame up by the back velvety standing piece, Buffy brought it up eye level and stared.

It was a picture. Of Spike and Cordelia.

Of HER Spike and Cordelia.

It had apparently been taken at some fancy restaurant, the night he had proposed. Buffy could make out the rather larger looking engagement ring on the dark haired girl’s left ring finger. Cordelia looked like she had just won the lottery, she was smiling so big and bright. Every white tooth in her mouth showed perfectly clear and her long dark hair flew down around her face, past her shoulders. The expensive red strapless dress that covered her body left little to the imagination and her nicely shaped legs were crossed as she sat up right in a chair.

Spike, who was behind Cordy in the photo, was hardly noticeable, and he looked rather tense and bemused at the whole situation, which made Buffy wonder what had he been thinking the night the photo was taken.

And it also made her wonder what it would have been like to have been in Cordelia’s shoes that magical night.

Suddenly, the angry green monster was quickly clawing his way to the surface and Buffy had the sudden urge chuck the picture across the room.

~*~*~*~

Climbing the stairs, defeated, Buffy made for her room. Coming closer to the bathroom, she listened closely, and was able to establish that the water wasn’t running anymore, and Spike was done. She sighed heavily, she once again started to rethink her choice to come back here, when all she got from this place now, was pain.

And she’d known it. She’d known it before she had made the hasty mistake of coming back here. She’d known it as soon as she had read the invitation. What on earth had possessed her to do something this insane? Had she really thought she could make it through the wedding while still being in love with the groom? It sounded like insane troll logic.

‘God, I’m the insane troll of insanedonia.’ She thought miserably, rounding a corner and running smack dab into a very wet Spike. Letting out a loud shriek when she felt the dampness seeping into her clothing to gather on her skin, she quickly stepped backward and almost lost her footing. Spike reached out a hand to steady her and she finally looked up at him.

“T-t-thanks.” She couldn’t help but stutter when she realized the state he was in. The soft, white, cotton towel was wrapped tightly around him, but still hung low enough on his narrow hips for her hazel eyes to watch the tiny water droplets cascade down the sculpted muscles of his chest and over the taut ridges of his abdomen to disappear beneath edge of the towel. She unconsciously licked her lips as she remembered a time long ago when she had traced that very same trail that the droplets had taken with her fingers and mouth.

“You okay there, luv.” Spike asked, noticing her flushed cheeks, and glazed over eyes. He slowly withdrew his arm from her when he realized that she wasn’t swaying anymore.

Buffy had to clear her suddenly dry throat.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” She smiled to reassure him.

“Good. You looked like you were gonna be sick there for a minute.” Spike smiled, relieved.

“No, I’m okay. You just scared me, is all.” She said, hands nervously fidgeting with a lose thread on the hem on her shirt.

“So, pet, you think you’d be up to going out tonight, or are you too jet lagged?” He asked, casually as possible, hoping that she wouldn’t catch on to the silent plead in his voice.

“No, I think I’ll be able to handle a night out.” She laughed softly. She wanted to look down at her feet then, but found it very difficult to tear her eyes from his.

“Good, ‘cause the gang’s been going bloody bonkers waitin’ for you to get ‘ere.” Spike chuckled, while running a hand threw his slicked hair. He literally couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

“Well then it’s about time I make an appearance, dontcha think?” She smiled, pleased to know that everyone hadn’t forgotten about her in the space of three years.

“I do.” Spike replied, and both of their smiled faded when they realized that one of them would be saying that very same thing to someone else in a few days time. A long silence fell upon them and each of their hearts felt as though it were breaking.

Finally, Buffy broke the quiet. “I better go get ready.”

“Yeah, I gotta go throw some clothes on, too.” He nodded, briefly looking down at his attire.

She pursed her lips and nodded too. “Yeah.”

He coughed gently, arms at his side, motionless. “Yeah.”

She smiled again before brushing past him quickly.

~*~*~*~

The drive to the Bronze later that night was made in silence, as Buffy unconsciously played with the hem of her mini-skirt. She was suddenly rethinking her choice to go with the short black skirt that Dawn had gotten her for her last birthday instead of the denim jeans with the cute flower designs on them. The large amount of leg that she was showing off was beginning to make her feel naked, especially with Spike. Which was very weird considering that he had already seen her naked before anyway…

Spike spared another glance her way for the umpteenth time that night, and again felt his breath hitch in his throat and his heart skip a beat. All he could think about was how beautiful she looked sitting next to him in the passenger seat in the guise of an angel. Her long golden strands of hair cascaded over her petite shoulders in flowing waves and curls. The makeup she wore made her face glow, and the bright green eye shadow brought out her sparkling green orbs. Her red Chinese-style top was tight and clung to her pert breasts in a way that made Spike’s eyes darken to a shade of midnight blue, and her short black skirt gave him a tantalizing view of her bronzed skin. The outfit was slimming against her small frame and emphasized each and every curve on her tanned body. A pair of bright red flips flops adorned her small feet and finished off the delicious ensemble.

‘Christ, she’s beautiful!’ Spike thought, pulling the black Desoto into the parking lot and searched for a pot close to the entrance. ‘I was a very lucky man back then.’

As they got out of the car and made their way to the noisy building, Buffy hung back a few steps behind Spike and avoided eye contact with him when he looked toward her every so often. ‘God, why am I so nervous?’ She wondered.

The Bronze was crowded as the two blondes entered the door. Standing on her tip toes Buffy searched her long lost friends out. She saw them at their regular table near the dance floor, Willow waving her hand in the air trying to get their attention. Buffy tugged on Spike’s duster to get his attention then signal toward the anxious red-head at the table. He nodded at her and then they pushed their way past the horde of energetic people and made their way over to their watching friends.

When they reached the table, they all started at once.

“Buffy!”

“H-hey B-Buffy.”

“Wow, Buffster, looking’ good.”

“Yes Buffy, you look like you’ve received many orgasms since we’ve last seen you.”

She was a bit thrown by that last comment. “Wow, Anya, I just realized what I’ve been missin’ in New York.” She chuckled good-naturedly.

“Oh, orgasms?” The bubbly blonde asked excitedly, scooting forward and sipping from her mixed drink.

A pause.

Then a slow nod from Buffy. “And you’re sarcastic wit…” She said slowly, again unsure of how to answer the girl across from her.

“Oh, I wasn’t be sarcastic.” She said, slightly shaking her head. “I really wanted to know if you missed the West Coast orgasms since you’ve moved to the East Coast.”

“Is there a difference?” Buffy asked hesitantly, looking around at the surprised faces of her other faces, silently begging them to help her. Tara was the only one who seemed to notice the scared look on her face and gave an apologetic smile.

“Well, of course there is. Spike isn’t on the East Coast.” She explained with an encouraging smile, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

The gang watched as Buffy’s eyes grew wider than ever and Spike looked away and coughed loudly.

“Ahn, enough with all the questions. Buffy just got here and you’ll scare her away.” Xander said, laughing lightly in an attempt to end the smothering awkwardness, and shut his girlfriend up. He put a loving arm around her slim shoulders and pulled her close, kissing her nose affectionately when she looked at him, pleased with his actions.

“So!” Willow spoke up, leaping out of her chair to give her best friend a tight hug, which Buffy returned.

“How goes it?” She asked when they pulled back.

“Well, it still goes.” Buffy joked, giving the red-head a friendly smile. She noticed that Willow’s fiery hair was now shorter and framed her round face appreciatively, and was once again reminded how much can change in three year’s time.

Willow laughed, and sat back down.

“Good to know.”

“Buffster, pull up a seat.” Xander told her with a smile. He waved his arm about enthusiastically at the few empty seats left around the table. “You too, Spike.”

Buffy spared a glance to Spike to see him standing behind her enviously, switching from one foot to the other. She gave him an expectant look.

“You go ahead, luv. I think I’m gonna go get a drink. Anyone want?” He asked, after pulling out a chair for the petite blonde and letting her sit down.

“No thanks.” Both Willow and Tara replied at the same time, then smiled at each other lovingly, and grasping hands underneath the round table.

“Still have some left.” Anya said, raising her drink for him to inspect.

“I’ll have whatever you’re having, man.” Xander answered in a way that suggested the two had become very close friends since the last time Buffy had seen them.

“How ‘bout you, ducks. You want anything?” Spike inquired, looking down at the tiny girl sitting in the chair that his hands hadn’t bothered to let go of yet. Upon realizing this, Spike drew back his hands and stood up straight, maintaining eye contact with her.

“Oh, um, a coke’s fine.” Was her response, and Spike nodded before turning and walking off in the direction of the bar.

Conversation started up quickly between the old friends, and Buffy was glad that there was very little awkwardness since Anya’s blunt comments. The four of them slipped back into a comfortable discussion about life in Sunnydale for the past three years, and the fast paced days in the big apple. Buffy shared stories of college life in New York while Willow, Tara, Anya, and Xander reminisced about days spent just having fun and remembering the good ol’ days in high school. Things seemed to finally start to make sense since Buffy arrival back in Sunnydale, and she smiled at the thought.

‘Things aren’t that weird between us, after all. I don’t know why I thought it’d be so hard. Everything is just like old times.’

“So Buffy, whatcha think about this whole ‘Spike marrying Cordelia’ thing? Pretty surprising, huh? ”

Including Anya’s bluntness.

And just like that, Buffy’s current happy-go-lucky attitude vanished into thin air.

The table rocked with the force of which Willow sent her clog-covered foot into Anya’ shin. “Ow!”

An awkward silence once again befall upon the group and Buffy forced herself to swallow back the lump in her throat. She truly couldn’t blame Anya for bringing the topic up. It was, in fact, the reason of which she had returned to Sunnydale in the first place, and she really couldn’t expect everyone to not mention the event while in her presence just to spare her feelings. Of course they would mention it, just as everyone else would be doing for the entirety of the next two weeks.

Realizing that the four of them were staring at he with concerned expressions on all their faces, Buffy quickly cleared her suddenly dry throat and opened her mouth to speak.

“You know, I think I’m gonna go see if Spike needs any help with those drinks.” She smiled uneasily, before standing and heading in the direction that Spike had gone.

“Was it something I said?” Anya asked, confused.

Willow shot daggers at her.

~*~*~*~

Buffy found Spike at the crowded bar, waiting for their order. She realized as she was nearing him, that he didn’t see her approaching, and decided to take advantage of the fact.

The plump, seedy looking bartender handed Spike his extra shot of tequila, with barely a glance at the bleached blonde’s fake id. Spike thanked him with a nod of his head, and looked down at the drink before him as though I held all the answers to his problems. Which was probably pointless, considering the truck load of problems he was currently dealing with. He let out a deep breath he realized he had been holding since Buffy arrived earlier today and just as he was lifting the small, clear glass to his lips, he suddenly found it snatched out of his hand.

Turning around to give the offending person a piece of his mind, he was shocked to find he was just in time to watch Buffy tilt her head back and let the cool liquid slide from the shot glass, down her throat in one gulp. “Eck! Egh! God, I needed that.” She breathed out, before letting out several more sounds of disgust as she slammed the glass back down on the counter.

Spike’s shocked expression changed to that of an amused one, and he chuckled at her antics. Then, as if realizing for the first time what had happened, he scowled at her.

Upon seeing his look, she gave one of her own back with equal fever. “What?” She asked, indigently. “Like you’re the only one allowed to engage in acts of underage drinkage?”

Overhearing this, the bartender stopped his pouring of the other drinks and gave Spike an odd look, almost questioningly.

“She’s joking.” He told the older man, a nervous smile on his handsome face.

The bartender raised a bushy eyebrow, skeptically.

“Wot?” He asked, affrontedly. “I’m bloody 25. Saw the Id ‘ourself.”

The bushy eyed man just shook his dark head and walked away after sitting the rest of Spike’s order on the counter. After he was out of hearing range, Spike turned to the girl at his side, an irritated look on his face.

“I would’ve went with 23.” She informed him, amused. She wasn’t put off from his looks for years. Did he really think it would work now?

“You shouldn’t be drinking, pet.” He told her, his face softening into a look of worry.

Buffy huffed at that. “Don’t tell me what to do, you dope.”

“Did you just call me a dope?”

She ignored him and continued with her rant. “Besides, it’s only one drink. Jeesh, it’s not like I don’t know when to quit.” She said, reaching for Xander’s drink even as she was talking, and downing in quickly.

~*~*~*~

An hour later saw Buffy drunker than she’d ever been, and acting as silly as they come. She stood on the empty stage, colored lights blaring down on her harshly, wobbling to the right, then to the left, finally able to steady herself as she smiled proudly at the hordes of dancing people. Even after her friends continual warnings, she had gone against their advice and decided to par-take in karaoke night. The crowded building cheered enthusiastically when the music she had chosen began to play.

She held the microphone tightly in he right hand as she started to sing.

“I love myself
I want you to love me
When I feel down
I want you above me
I search myself
I want you to find me
I forget myself
I want you to remind me”

All five friends sitting nearby at their table put their heads down and sighed. Poor Buffy would be so embarrassed in the morning.

She was now dancing provocatively around the stage, shimmying her hips tantalizingly, and watching the men in the club go wild.

Hearing the chorus approaching, Spike’s blonde head snapped up quickly.

“I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you
I touch myself
Oooh, I don’t want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no”

Spike felt himself harden at the image the lyrics and her dancing conjured up in his mind. The rest of the club faded away and it was only him and Buffy there in his mind. He licked his lips involuntarily as she ran her hands over her neck, down to her round breasts, and over her abdomen. He imagined her hands were his.

“You’re the one
Who make me come runnin’
You’re the sun
Who makes me shine
When you’re around
I’m always laughin’
I wanna make you mine.”

She pointed directly at him and smiled invitingly, a certain gleam in her hazel eyes.

‘I am yours, pet. I’ve always been yours.’

“I close my eyes
And see you before me
Think I would die
If you were to ignore me
A fool could see
Just how much I adorn you
I’d get down on my knees
I’d do anything for you”

Spike slide around in his seat in an attempt at easing the ache in his groin, never noticing that the gang’s attention was now firmly on him.

‘Mmm, Buffy on her knees…’

“I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you
I touch myself
Oooh, I don’t want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no, yeah”

Willow, Xander, Tara, and Anya watched on as Spike concentrated solely on Buffy and the song blaring out of the speakers. It was very obvious to anybody with eyes that these two wanted each other.

Things were getting very interesting to say the least.

~*~*~*~

Helping, a stumbling Buffy into his house, Spike closed the door behind him. After Buffy’s rendition of ‘I Touch Myself’, she had just about pasted out on stage. He had decided that it was late and he should be getting her and himself home into bed. The gang all sad their goodbyes, telling Buffy how great it was to see her again after so long, and that they would really like to meet up again before the wedding.

He still wasn’t sure why they told her anything at all. As drunk as she was, it was very unlikely that she would remember anything about tonight. They could have told her that she was adopted and it wouldn’t have made a difference.

After practically caring her unconscious form up the stairs and into her room, he gently deposited her on the bed. Reaching down to undo the clasps of her two inch heels, he didn’t notice that she had woken up.

He jumped so high, he nearly fell out of the bed, when he felt her plant soft, open mouth wet kisses on his neck.

“B-Buffy?” He asked unsure, not moving away or stopping her. “Buffy, pet? W-what are you doing?”

She smiled against his skin. “What’s it look like? I’m kissing you, silly.” She reached around to the front of his body and started to rub his hardness through his jeans, and grinned when he trembled against her.

Spike jumped up from the bed and stood before her. “No! No, we can’t do this.”

At her hurt expression, he amended, “You’re drunk.”

A sliver of guilt ran through him when he realized that he didn’t name his fiancé as his number one reason why they couldn’t continue.

Buffy laughed quietly.

“I still know that I want you.” She told him sincerely. She frowned when he looked away.

“But we can’t.” He told her, still unable to look at her. It he did, his resolve would be shoot to hell and he would give in. “You’re going back to New York in a few weeks, and I’m…”

‘Marrying a woman I don’t love.’

She moved so fast, he didn’t notice until she was standing right in front of him, hot little body pressed firmly against him. “You…what?” She asked, all low and womanly.

She was trying to seduce him. Drunk.

His head turned toward hers involuntarily, blue eyes meeting hazel. And once again he was reminded of how beautiful, and special she was, how angelic, with those full, pink, bee-stung lips, those bright, sparkling hazel orbs, and perfect blonde hair. He struggled to speak. “I-I…I.”

Buffy’s eyes fluttered closed, then open again to find him staring down at her with a look of pure lust, and tenderness, and felt her heart swell. She smiled lovingly at him.

A familiar trickle of arousal raced through her body when she saw him wet his pink lips with his tongue. Sifting her fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck, she slowly pulled his lips down to hers. Her eyes fluttered shut instinctively, all senses concentrating on the feelings that his soft lips provoked. The thought briefly went through her fuzzy brain that she could kiss him forever, and she moaned into the kiss.

Spike inwardly groaned. She always tasted so sweet-like strawberries, and sunshine, and something purely Buffy. He just couldn’t get enough of it. Her lips easily fitted his and made his whole body come alive. He felt her bubblegum tongue flutter out and sweep across his lower lip, and he met it with his own. He kissed her deeply, feeling their tongues melt together and dance in the wet inferno of her mouth.

She moaned softly into the kiss, moved her body to press even more intimately against his, molding them together in a perfect fit. Tightening her grip on his neck, she shifted her head to one side, his moving to the other in a perfected synchronized motion, one they had much practice with. Tangling her fingers in his hair, she felt him pull her closer yet, deepening the kiss in an impossibly unfathomable way that made her toes curl against the plush carpeted floor.

When Spike’s lips left hers to leave a trail of wet kisses down her neck and collarbone, Buffy’s alcohol altered body lost it’s balance and they both tumbled onto the bed together. Her eyes slammed shut and she concentrated on the feel of his mouth on her body. Pulling desperately at his clothing, wanting it to disappear, Buffy moaned loudly when his mouth reached her cotton covered breast, replacing his hand, and began to kiss it through her shirt. He bite lightly on her nipple, before sucking it into his waiting mouth, drenching the soft material with his tongue and teeth. She used both arms to hold his head there, arching her body in an effort to get more of her breast into his mouth.

“Mmmm.” She moaned, eyes still tightly closed. “Want you. Want you so bad.”

“God, Buffy.” He groaned, letting her nipple fall from his lips. He pulled back ever so slightly, just enough to tug her tight shirt up and over her head quickly, tossing it behind him haphazardly.

She opened her eyes slowly and found the most beautiful blue eyes see had ever seen, dark and glazed with lust. “Spike…” She breathed, pushing the duster from his body, banning it to the floor.

Pulling his lips back down to hers, Buffy, wrapped a leg around his narrow hip, urging him forward, telling him without words that she wanted-needed- more. His hands ran down over the side of her body, coming to rest on the other side of her thigh, holding her leg around his hip, grinding his erection into her moisten jean-clad center, seeking release.

She tore her lips from his to cry out in pleasure, arching up to return the pressure on their pelvises. Spike licked across the tops of her bra clad breasts, his hand not leaving the other one unattended. Working his way back up her body to kiss her lips, he realized that she had passed out.

Pulling away, Spike stared at her snoring lightly, not sure if he should to be relieved or upset. He breathed out heavily, pausing a moment before rolling off of her still body and rising to his feet in the same fluid movement.

Spike then pulled the covers up over her sleeping form, pushed the hair away from her pretty face, and planted a chaste kiss on each of her closed lids. “Sweet dreams, luv.” His voice was soft, only barely above a whisper, not wanting to disturb her.

He picked up her discarded shirt, threw it over the back of a nearby chair, grabbed his duster, and headed for the door. Before walking out completely, Spike stopped to look at her one more time. He smiled uneasily. ‘I still love you.’

The door closed softly and he went to his own room.

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Interlude: Cordelia

The red mustang hit the freeway like lightning, yielding briefly at the merging of the on-ramp and the interstate before taking off once more, dodging the traffic left and right, making illegal passes without using a turning signal. The other cars honked and yelled, cursing at the personalized plate on the rear end of the car, ‘Queen C’.

“Outta my way, creep!” Cordelia Chase yelled at the car in font of her, who was currently preventing her from passing him. “Jeez, other people do have important places to be.”

She was still fuming over her little spat with Buffy, who had just come barging back into Sunnydale and decided to move in with Cordy’s fiancé. Just who in the hell did she think she was, anyway? Coming back after three years, expecting life to have not changed one bit from the time she left. It was completely insane on the petite blondes part. Did she really expect to left for three years and assume that no one else in town would realize how much of a vision of hotliness Spike was?

It’s not my fault Spike asked me to marry him instead of her. She thought, offended.

As Cordy’s thoughts rounded the subject of marriage, and her own wedding, she sighed loudly. Was she really gonna do this? Was she really gonna married William Giles, whom she constantly tormented for years, whom she had despised and envied, whom she had found comfort in the arms of when her heart had fallen apart?

None of it seemed real. It was as though she had went to sleep one night, and in the morning, when she’d woken up, she found herself in bizarro world. She was confused and disoriented, unsure of her place, her role, and completely terrified of actually going through with the whole ordeal. And after much thought and consideration, she had pinpointed the source of her troubles. It all came down to one question:

What in God’s name had possessed William Giles to propose to her? And why had she said yes? Okay, not so much just one question, but…

Why would someone like Spike ask her to marry him? Guys like him always fell for the girl next door types. The Buffy type.

Sure, they were fuck buddies, and sex with Spike was so amazing she didn’t have words, but weren’t people supposed to get married only if they were in love? She was pretty sure that Spike wasn’t in love, hadn’t been in love since Buffy, and probably wouldn’t be again. And she-well, she did care for Spike, really she did. She would not have said yes if she didn’t, but was that a valid enough reason to marry him?

Cordy had only ever knew what it was like to be in love once, and that had been in senior year of high school, when she met Scott Hope the first day of Chemistry. He had been sweet, charming, and handsome. All things that appealed to any woman with eyes, and Cordy, fresh off the rebound from that cheating prick, Angel, had fell hard and fast. They had spent the entire school year together, and life couldn’t be better. But as Summer quickly approached, it had ended just as swiftly as it had began. Scott left to go to college back in Ohio where his mother still resided, and the two were forced to try the long distance thing. When she had decided to surprise him with a visit two weeks later, Cordelia was devastated to find him with his old girlfriend.

She had returned home on the first flight out, and after drowning her sorrows in as much free alcohol as the frat boys she knew, had, she ran into Spike, who was coincidently nursing his own broken heart from a trip to New York. They two spent the next few weeks losing themselves in each other, and trying, unsuccessfully to repair the damage that had been done to their broken, battered hearts. They gave each other solace, helped them each make a decent attempt at moving on.

And it had worked…at first.

But the fact was, now that Buffy was back in Sunnydale, Cordelia didn’t really fit into Spike’s life anymore. Buffy had always been his world, and Cordy had just been his way of getting his mind off the petite blonde. And while Spike could easily drop her and go running back into the arms of his ex, where would she go? She had no one to run to now, and she definitely didn’t want to come out of all this the loser, now did she? She was better than that.

Her mother had seen to that.

But things were only bound to get worse now that both her father, and her mother were pushing her to marry Spike as quickly as was possible, and she was really starting to feel the heat from it. It seemed that whatever she did, nothing would ever be enough to satisfy them. All she ever wanted was for them to accept her, but the more and more she tried, the less and less they gave her. It seemed as though she was doomed to always be just Lilah Chase’s little sister.

Lilah was Cordy twin sister, born just two minutes before the younger Chase daughter, and therefore secured her place as daddy’s little princess, and mommy’s little angel. She had always been the favorite, since the day she had come into the world, up until the day she left it, and Cordy was never able to escape her shadow.

Things didn’t seem to get unbearable until right after they Chase family moved to Sunnydale, seven years ago. Lilah and Cordelia were thirteen, and had just started middle school at the town’s only all girls school around, and things had finally started to look up for young Cordy. She was doing well in school, had made tons of friends, and was destined to be one of the most popular girls in the whole town, along with Lilah, of course.

But it all had changed in one tragic night.

The family had been driving home from one of their many Christmas parties that they attended every year, and a drunk driver failed to stop at a red light, crashed into them in the back left side of the silver Mercedes-Bens-Lilah’s side, and killed her on impact.

No one else in the car was injured, a fact that Cordelia was sure that her parents hold against her to this day. They unconsciously blamed their surviving daughter, because she was still here, while Lilah wasn’t.

The next seven years were spent transforming Cordelia into the new Lilah. Her mother, Christine, spared no amount of money on everything Cordy would need to become the replacement for her long lost first born. They played with her, as if she were putty, molding, and shaping her into someone that she wasn’t, until she had forgotten who actually lived underneath the designer clothes, French perfume and makeup, saucy attitude, and bitchiness that now defined Queen C, as she was called to her ‘friends.’

If that’s what you could call them. They didn’t know her, not really,. And how could they truly be her friends if they had no freaking idea who she was? She had never let anyone know they ‘real’ her…not until Scoot.

And look how that turned out! She thought, sarcastically, spinning the wheel as she coasted off on the right exit ramp.

She hide behind her image, the queen bitch of Sunnydale, and it became her safety net. ‘Hurt them before they hurt you’ became her motto, and she lived by it religiously. She had treated everyone she ever met, friend ore not, like crap- a defense mechanism she was still using today- because she was so terrified that they would be able to see right through her front, and into the real her. The lost and lonely little girl that still did everything she could to try and obtain her parents praises. The one who only wanted to be loved as she was, and not for what she could be molded into.

Pretending was just much easier. If people knew, they would just pity her. And she didn’t want that. She would rather be hated than be pitied.

Which lead her back to her original question.

Why had she agreed to marry Spike? Because her parents wanted her to, and she would do anything to please them? Because she didn’t want to end up alone? Because she wanted to prove that she could mold somebody into feeling what she wanted them to feel, and finally be worth of Lilah’s pedestal?

Maybe it was a little of all of those.

Or maybe it was still the reason it had always been.

Because she was tired of being Cordelia Chase, Queen bitch of Sunnydale high. Because she wanted to finally be someone else besides Lilah Chase’s little sister. Someone more likeable, more loving.

Someone like Buffy.

And if Spike married her, then it would be because she was someone he could spend the rest of his life with.

Someone like Buffy.

And in Spike’s eyes, Buffy was perfect. And all Cordy ever wanted was to feel perfect.

Perfect, just as she was.

She absentmindedly pulled into the large driveway that lead up to her parents’ estate, and turned off the engine.

She blew out a deep breath, one she had been holding since she was thirteen. Here we go again…


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Chapter 19: Heaven’s On Fire

The streets of down town Sunnydale were slightly crowded as Buffy walked slowly past each shop, some that had always been there, some that had just been erected in the three years time since she had left. She made it a point to pause and look at each and every display in the front window of the shops, deciding whether or not she wanted to go inside or not, before continuing on her way, lost in thought.

She had woken up this morning with the most ass kicking hangover of her life, and had popped at least a dozen aspirins in order to rid herself of the killer headache. She also had no memory of anything taking place last night after her third, or maybe it was her forth
shot of tequila. After showering and dressing faster than she could remember ever doing, she had bounded down the stairs quickly, expecting to find Spike sitting on the couch watching some lame soap opera, and had been immensely surprised to instead run into none other than Cordelia.

The dark haired woman had looked up briefly, before returning her attention back to the flat screen television showing Elmidate reruns. “Oh, it’s just you. I thought for a minute that is was someone, ya know…important.”

“Important?” Buffy snorted. “So, you mean, that I’m not as important to you as Elmidate?”

Cordy looked at her, silent for a moment, before replying, “Please! You aren’t ‘that’ important to anyone.” She laughed, turning back to her program.

“Not how Spike tells it.” Buffy smiled evilly, knowing that she would hit a nerve with that comment.

Cordy looked up sharply, anger evident on her pretty face. She stood up quickly, tossing the remote to the soft cushions of the sofa. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Yep, it worked…

There was a moment of silent tension between the two woman.

“Absolutely nothing.” Buffy responded, cynically. She grabbed her purse off the nearby table and began to search through it for her set of house keys that Spike had bestowed upon her last night before she had gotten too drunk to think straight. She pulled them out deliberately, wanting Cordelia to see them.

The dark haired girl’s eyes darted almost instantly to the set of metal dangling from Buffy’s fingers, and narrowed, but she kept quiet. She reached behind her to dig something out from her back pocket, and held it out to Buffy. “Here. Spike said to give this to you.”

Buffy looked suspiciously at the other woman, then snatched the folded piece of paper from her outstretched hand, unfolded it, and began to read in silence.

‘Dear Buffy,

By now you’re probably experiencing one of the most spectacular hangovers of your life. You got pretty shit-faced last night, pet. No more tequila for you any time soon, eh, luv? Anyway, I had to leave early this morning to drive to San Francisco to pick up Da’. Apparently he’s got some new bird up there that’s been putting him up nicely. Go figure, huh? I didn’t wanna take off without letting you know that you didn’t do anything too embarrassing last night. Knew you’d be worried, and all. Cordy will be there until she has to meet up with the girls to do whatever the hell it is that they do. I’ve talked to her about not invading your space, so try to ignore her. And please, don’t kill each other until I get back.

Spike

P.S. Loved your rendition of
‘I Touch Myself.’

Needless to say, Buffy had been extremely embarrassed after reading Spike’s letter, and had left the house then without another word to Cordy. She didn’t feel up to arguing with her after that. It was useless anyway. Like flinging rocks at a huge brick wall.

Rounding a corner packed side by side with different kinds of shops, Buffy stopped dead in her tracks when she came to stand in front of the Magick Box. She smiled, and walked closer to have a look in the display window. Giles still held ownership over the little store, but now had given Anya permission to run things how she preferred, as the two had become close since she started dating Xander years ago. The old Brit trusted Anya with his fruitful store, and was sure she would take excellent care of his money. She was majoring in accounting after all.

Buffy’s hazel eyes surveyed the inside of the shop from where the display ended, and she grinned happily when she realized that is had stayed exactly how she had left it, but with more items for sale.

Suddenly two more pairs of eyes appeared in her line of vision, one bright green, the other, a pale blue.

Willow and Tara.

Buffy smiled warmly at her two wiccan friends, before making her way inside to say hello.

~*~*~*~



3 ½ Years Ago, Sunnydale:


She couldn’t believe it. Never in a million years would she have thought she would be doing this. She had absolutely no idea how she had gotten talked into it.

The night had started normal enough. The whole gang was attending one of Anya’s my-parents-are-out-of-town,-come-get-drunk-and-make-out parties, where the only person in their group who felt comfortable was Anya herself. In exchange for another beer, someone had been forced to play a round of ‘seven minutes of heaven.’ Anya had found out about it, and then insisted that everyone she knew participate too. Then somehow Buffy ended up in Anya’s dark bedroom closet with a blindfold on.

And what was worse was the fact that Anya had proudly proclaimed herself to be the person whose job it was to pick the guy that would be sent in after Buffy and remain with her for seven minutes. Buffy had no doubt in her mind that Anya would find the horniest, most lunkheaded guy there, and push him into the closet if need be. She would think it was hilarious, some cruel practical joke.

She sighed loudly, impatient, and wanting to get this whole thing over with. Why was it taking so long? Maybe Anya couldn’t find a guy who was willing to spend seven minutes alone with her. God, she hoped that was the case. This blindfold was really starting to get on her last nerve.

~*~*~*~

“Bloody ‘ell, Anya. I’m not going in there. It would be weird. She’s m’ best friend.” Spike protested against the feisty blonde’s suggestion of him joining Buffy in the closet for seven minutes of God knows what. They were standing in Anya’s vacated bedroom, the only two, as the rest of the Scooby gang waited outside.

“Oh, don’t be such a pansy, Spike.” Anya muttered, clearly irritated with his continual refusal to do as she asked of him. Why couldn’t these two blondes forget for one minute how incredibly stubborn they both were, and just give in to what they were feeling?

“M’ not a pansy. I just know when not to get involved in a potentially bad situation.” Spike insisted, holding up his hands for emphasis.

Anya put her hands on the back of his shoulder blades and pushed him toward the closed closet door. Spike struggled against her shoving hands, but since of part of him actually wanted to go right ahead and run as fast as he could into the closet with Buffy, it was easy for Anya to get his feet to move with their bodies, and they ended up right in front of the oak door. “I’m not taking no for an answer, Spike. Now get your British ass in the closet right now!”

With that, she flung open the door and tossed him inside, before shutting it with a loud bang.

Clapping her hands together, she grinned proudly, before opening the door that lead to the hallway where the others waited and strolled out. She was sure this good deed made up for all those times she hang with Cordelia and Harmony.

~*~*~*~

The closet was dark, almost pitch black, but Spike found that he could still make out the small form of a petite blonde huddled nervously alongside the wall farthest across form him. She was curled up, knees against her chest, with her back pressed firmly against the dry wall behind her, as she used to tiny arms to keep her legs bent where she wanted them. The blindfold was tied tightly around her head, shielding her eyes from view, and her full pink lips formed a thin straight line. The air around her screamed anxiety.

Spike almost gasped at how beautiful she looked in what little light there was in the small closet.

“H-hi.” She said with an apprehensive smile, after hearing the door close with a loud bang.

Spike didn’t reply but cautiously took a few steps forward, careful not to make a sound as to let her know that he was nearing her. He kept walking until he was directly before her, never taking his eyes off of her.

“Hello?” She asks again, moving her head left and then right, as if she could see through the black cotton covering her eyes. She was getting more nervous by the second.

“Shh.” Spike whispered, hoping she wouldn’t know that it was him. He kneeled softly facing her, and breathed in deep. Now he was the one who was nervous.

She seemed to sense that someone was in front of her face, and put up her tiny hands, needing to feel them, to try to figure out who they were, and what their intentions were. Spike mimicked her actions, sliding his own hands along the smooth skin of her palms, and lacing his fingers through hers. Closing his large hand around her much smaller one, he clasped it tightly, loving the feel of her hand in his.

She was breathing errantly now, tense beyond words, and eager to know what was coming next. She waited expectantly, her chin up in the air, knowing instinctively that he would be taller than her.

A familiar trickle of arousal raced through Spike’s body when he saw her wet her pink lips with her tongue. Slowly, he leaned in towards her, their hands still tightly clasped, as his eye lids fluttered closed.

Their lips touched and a spark flew through both of them. Her lips easily fitted his and made his whole body come alive. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip, begging entrance, which she willingly gave to him. She met it with hers, letting them melt together and move in an erotic mating dance that left both of them breathless. The kiss deepened even more, and an involuntary moan escaped Buffy’s mouth, and caused Spike to smile against her lips. He reveled in the fact that he could pleasure her so.

When breathing became an issue, Spike pulled away to look at her, gauging her reaction. He lips hung open slightly, bee-stung and kiss swollen, wet from their passionate feat. She was breathing heavily, lungs pulling in air as fast as they could, trying to get her breath back to usual. The snug pink tank that she wore had rode up during their ministrations, baring her midriff to Spike’s lustful eyes, and her chest heaved as she continued to breathe deeply, the tops of her pert breast peeking out of the top seam.

Silence engulfed the whole of the small, dark closet, and the two blondes still grasped each other’s hands firmly.

Buffy was still reeling from the feelings that her first ‘real’ kiss had invoked. Every part of her body was on fire, singing with joy, brought to life by a strange whose face she had yet to see. It was incredible! Never in her life had she ever feel so good, so alive. She never dared to think that a kiss could be this pleasant, and it sent a thrill of arousal through her small body, and she wanted more.

He wasn’t sure what had possessed him to do it, but Spike suddenly wanted Buffy to know who had just made her feel so good. Spike unlocked his hands from Buffy’s and slowly reach up and behind her head, making quick work of the fixed knot of the back of the blindfold, and let it slip from her face. Puling it away and discarding it somewhere in the darkness, he waited for her to open her beautiful eyes and learn the truth.

It seemed as though an eternity had passed before she finally let her lids flutter open. She was sure she was going to find somebody that she hated, somebody that hated her in return, but wanted to get her all worked up, then leave her there to suffer. Who she didn’t expect to find staring down at her was her best friend.

She gasped, surprised. Both were still locked in an intense stare.

‘Oh, God.’ She thought, inwardly groaning. ‘He’ll know now. He’ll be able to sense my feelings for him, and it’s gonna ruin our friendship. Oh, God, I’ll lose him forever!’

But he didn’t look put off in the slightest. He was just staring down at her with a look so full of love and tenderness, it made her stomach clinch and her heart contract. God, he had to be the most beautiful man she had ever laid eyes on.

“Spike?” She asked, a little confused at the look her was currently giving her.

But he didn’t answer her. He only leaned in toward her again, and Buffy instinctively closed her eyes once more, knowing what was coming, and wanting it just as bad as Spike appeared want it. Their lips connected yet again, and they instantly deepened it.

Sifting her fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck, she pulled him closer, wrapping her other arm under his own and back around the back of his shoulder, clutching at him as though he might disappear before.

Spike inwardly groaned, pulling her closer too. His hands pulled at her thin arms, moving her body with his as he scooted nearer, fingers drug deep into the skin on her upper arms. She moaned softly into the kiss, and moved her body to press even more intimately against his, molding them together in a perfect fit. Soon, it became clear that kissing just wasn’t enough, and the two yanked at each other’s clothes, pulling so hard a few seams popped in their haste.

Spike’s lips left Buffy then to leave a trail of wet kisses down the soft, salty skin of her neck, tongue coming out to taste the hollow of her throat, teeth nipping lightly in every place in between.

~*~*~*~

Outside in the hallway, leading to Anya’s bedroom, the gang waited, curiously, wondering what they two blonde best friends were doing past the two doors separating them from the group. They hands of the clock on the nearby hallway wall reminded them al that it was now four and a half minutes past the required seven minutes the two had to remain in the closet together.

Anya breathes out loudly, gaining the attention of her fellow Scoobies. “Five bucks says they’re half way to happy land by now.” She said calmly.

They others just looked at her oddly.

~*~*~*~

“Mmm, Spike.” Buffy breathed, feeling a rush of pleasure when her back slammed up against the wall behind her as Spike threw her discarded shirt over his shoulder, not bothering to wait and see where it landed before he dove back to kissing any piece of skin his lips could find. Glad that she was sans bra underneath the lost tank, Spike buried his head in her chest.

Buffy wrapped her arms around him, hold his head in place. He kissed and nipped the tops of her breasts , then took a pert nipple into his mouth to suck. She moaned loudly, not caring if everyone of the partiers down stairs heard them, as long as he didn’t stop doing that.

“God, Buffy. I’ve wanted this for so long.” Spike confessed, swirling his tongue around her puffy erect nipple, loving the way she shivered and groaned loudly. “Mmm, you taste so good , pet.”

God, the things she did to him. If he wasn’t sure he was in love with her before, he was now. They was no was he would give this up for anything.

His hands were everywhere at once, and Buffy’s senses were on overload, feeling so many feelings at once that she thought she would explode. It felt so good! A thought briefly floated through her brain that everything he was doing to her now, he had learned from his time with Faith, and that sparked a sliver of jealousy in her, but she quickly pushed it aside, concerting on the things he was doing to her body.

He trailed his lips back up to her throat, licking the spot where her ears met her neck, before sucking a lope into his waiting mouth. His lips found hers once more and Buffy kissed him back with equal fever, hungrily devouring him. pressing her body more firmly against his hard one, she grinded her lower body against his and gasped sharply into his mouth when she felt his rather large erection.

Not knowing where her sudden bravo was coming from, Buffy suddenly reached down and began rubbing him through the rough denim of his jeans. He broke away from her lips and looked at her, shocked. He was frozen and had an awed expression on his face, watching as her lips curl up into a proud smile, loving the power she held over him immensely.

Spike swallowed, mouth quivering. An urgent whisper escaped his open lips. “Buffy…”

They continued to stare into each other’s eyes, hazel locked with blue, as she never ceased to keep on with her ministrations, rubbing his hardness harder and faster. His eyes were glazed over with lust, and darkened to a shade of midnight blue. His kiss swollen mouth hung open, as he panted hard.

Buffy licked her dry lips when she felt him pulse beneath her hand.

“Oh! Oh, God, Buffy…” He gasped, out of breath. “You’d do best to not keep that up, pet.” He suddenly warned her.

Her hand slowed, and she looked scared, as though she had just did something terribly wrong.

Spike saw this, and quickly amended his previous comment. “’S just that if you keep going, I’m gonna cum in my pants, luv. Bit messy.” He smiled jokingly.

“Oh!” Buffy blushed a bright red, not stopping her movements. “But don’t you wanna…” She trailed off shyly, not knowing how to voice what she wanted to say.

“Very much.” Spike nodded, placing his hands over hers and stilling her movement. “But I don’t think we should, pet. At least not here, with our friends outside and all.”

~*~*~*~

“M-maybe we should, um, s-see if they’re okay.” Tara suggested, watching as almost all the people who had originally been in the game got bored and went back to drinking and dancing around the house. It had been nearly a half an hour since the two blondes had disappeared into the closet, the first pair to play ‘seven minutes in heaven.’ The Scooby gang were the only ones standing about, waiting for their two friends to come out and the next round to recommence.

“Well, I don’t know. I mean, should we? Maybe they don’t want to be interrupted?” Willow asked, unsure, while looking around at her fellow Scooby gang members.

Xander shrugged, looking bored, and very much like he already knew answer. “Would you wanna be interrupted when you’re about to get some?”

“Xander!” Willow admonished.

“Well, seriously, Wills. We’ve all seen the way they look at each.” Xander pointed out, knowing it was just as obvious to everyone else as it was to him. “And the sexual tension? Jeesh!”

“Oh, good point honey.” Anya praised her boyfriend, smiling brightly. “It’s so ‘very’ obvious that they want to have sex with each other.”

She nodded enthusiastically, proud to get her opinion voiced.

“Way to be blunt, Ahn.” Xander said, smiling sheepishly at the other two wiccas.

“Thank you.” She said, appreciatively, not put off in the least. “Tact is just so overrated.”

“But do you really think Buffy and Spike would have sex in Anya’s bedroom closet?” Willow asked inquisitively , getting the couple back on subject.

The other three friends all gave her a pointed look, as if to say ‘duh!’

Suddenly the bedroom door swung open so hard it hit the wall, and Buffy and Spike stumbled out of Anya’s bedroom, faces flushed, and clothes askew. Their hands were clasped tightly together, and both had pleased smiles on their faces.

“So…what did we miss?” Buffy asked, smiling brightly.

~*~*~*~

Buffy returned home late that evening after spending the day with Willow and Tara. The three woman had decided to have a girls day. Willow had closed up the Magick Box early, and they all went out to lunch together, then saw a movie at Sunnydale Theater, before going window shopping in the mall for the rest of the day.

Looking around the empty apartment, Buffy concluded that Spike had yet to return from San Francisco. She tossed her keys into her purse and plopped down onto the couch, exhausted from her day’s activities. Letting her head fall back to rest on the cushions atop the back of the couch, she closed her eyes, and sighed loudly into the empty house. Just as she was starting to doze off, dreams of designer shoes, and Victoria’s secret on the horizon, the phone rang.

Jumping to her feet, and bounding over to it, Buffy picked the receiver up and put it to her ear, rolling on the balls of her feet as she greeted whoever was on the other line. “Hello. Giles’s residence.”

“Buffy?” It took her a moment to recognize the voice on the other end of the phone line, but then her brain clicked and she smiled.

“Angel? Is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me. What’re you doing at Spike’s?”

“Oh, I came up for the wedding, and surprise, surprise, my old room’s filled up with, not a bed, as the persons of Sunnydale would have guessed, but many, many shoe boxes.” She laughed.

“Cecily?” He asked, sounding like he already knew the answer.

“Of course.” Buffy smiled.

“Is Spike around by chance? I needed to ask him if the bachelor party was still on for Saturday.” Angel wondered.

“Oh, he’s actually out right now.” She told him, twisting the phone cord around her fingers. “He drove to San Francisco to pick up Giles from his new “lady friend’s” house.”

Angel chuckled at that, finding it extremely amusing. “So, the G-man’s finally gonna get some after all this time?”

Buffy laughed at his comment. “Looks like.”

“Well, I better get going. I’m supposed to meet Darla for dinner and dancing tonight. You’ll tell my dear brother that I called?” Buffy smiled at his use of endearment for Spike. Technically, they were no longer brothers, hadn’t been since Jenny died, but Angel still saw Spike as just that. She found it heartwarming. Angel had definitely grown up since the last time she’d seen him.

“Will do. When will you be arriving in SunnyD?” Buffy asked, curiously.

“In a day or two. Depends on Darla’s work schedule really. Definitely wanna make it in time for the bachelor party though.”

Buffy snickered. “Yeah, can’t miss that, huh?”

“Well it is the sole purpose for this big family reunion.”

“And here I thought the sole purpose of ‘this big family reunion’ was the actual wedding. Geez, what was I thinking, anyway?”

“Wow, I don’t remember you being this sarcastic.” Angel commented lightly. She could tell he was smiling.

“Well, New York will do that to ya. Sarcasm, just one more service I offer.”

He chuckled, amused.

“I’ll talk to you later, Buff.”

She smiled. “You too.”

Placing the receiver back in it’s cradle, Buffy ran a hand through her long blonde locks, undoing a few tangled wisps of hair gently. Finding a piece of notebook paper, she wrote down all the information about Angel and when he was coming. She then grabbed her purse, and took off up stairs to take a nice long soak in the bathtub.

Chapter 21: Old Faces

3 Years ago, Sunnydale:

“Spike?” Buffy whispered, sliding her body closer to him on the wooden bench. They were all at lunch together, and the other Scoobies were busy in deep conversation about Cordy’s new haircut and how incredibly stupid it looked.

“Yeah?” He asked, surprised. He had been really quite since Anya’s party a few days ago, where they had their big make-out session. Buffy was starting to think that he regretted what had happened between them.

“You hear about that carnival that’s in now?” She asked awkwardly, twirling a strand of hair around her fingers.

“Yeah.” He said slowly. “Why?” He questioned, not really seeing where she was going with this. He had felt extremely nervous sense Anya’s party and wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act around her now. Sure, he had wanted them to be together for quite a while now, but since it actually happened, he was worried that she would regret their incredibly heated make-out session, and it would strain their friendship.

“Well, I was gonna go see it tonight, and I thought maybe you’d wanna come with me.” She suggested with a shy smile.

Spike gave her a curious look. “Doesn’t Red wanna go with you?”

Buffy shot a quick look to Willow who sat across from Spike, and saw that the fiery redhead had the entire group in discussion. “W-well, n-no. I didn’t really ask her.”

“Why not?”

“Because I kinda wanted you to go with me instead.” She said pointedly, hoping that he would understand, because honestly she was so nervous she felt like pissing her pants. “You know, like j-just you and me.”

Spike’s heart almost leapt right out of his chest. ‘She’s asking you on a date, mate!’ He thought, but quickly pushed the thought away. He didn’t wanna get carried away, and take a chance of getting his heart ripped out of his chest, even if it was unintentionally by his best friend.

“Just you and me?” Spike asked, wanting to have all the cards on the table.

“Mm Hmm. L-like a d-date?” She asked, flustered and blushing beyond belief. Spike found it absolutely adorable. He couldn’t help the smile that crossed his handsome face then.

“You wanna go on a date with me, pet?” He asked in awe of this beautiful girl before him.

At that, Buffy thought he was shocked to find that she would even consider the possibility, and she became even more anxious. “W-well, it’s not really a date. I-I mean, if you don’t want it to be, then it’s not…But if you do, you know, want it to be, then it is, a date, I mean. But really it doesn’t matter to me, I mean, I’m totally cool with it just being as friends.”

Spike chuckled, clearly amused with her actions and her nervous words. “It’s a date, luv. Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

She smiled at his words and the loving smile he sent her. After a moment though, she frowned, and her expression became serious. “But we have to slow it down with the whole making out thing. I mean, sure it’s ‘really’ great, but I think we might be going a little to fast.”

“Okay. I’ll try to control myself, pet.” Spike smiled, understanding.

She laughed softly. “You have to control yourself around me?” She then asked, beaming.

It was Spike’s turn to blush then. He looked away shyly, trying to hide his blushing face, before turning back to her, and cleared his throat. “Well, anyway, I get what you mean about the slowing down, though. Wouldn’t want anything to happen that we would regret, right?”

“Right.” She nodded enthusiastically. “This can just be a healthy, normal, teenage date, with no kissing, and no naughty touching.”

~*~*~*~

“Ow! God, Spike, watch it!”

Spike looked at her sheepishly, and gave her a concerned look as she rubbed the back of her neck where she had hit it on the push-down lock. “God, Buffy, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

At his worried look, she felt a stab of guilt roll through her, and grinned saucily at him from her position smashed against the passenger side window in the front of Spike’s Desoto. “It’s okay.” She giggled flirtatiously, and yanked him back down to her lips.

Buffy did mean what she said about taking things slow. She really did, and their date had started without a hitch. He had picked her up at her house, even brought her flowers, and they had driven toward the carnival in a comfortable silence. A stop had be made in a deserted field near the carnival where parking was held, and then somehow she had ended up pressed up against her window with a very horny best friend on top on her.

“Mmmm, we should really be getting to the carnival.” Buffy said, pulling back to catch her breath.

“We will.” Spike said, huskily, leaning back down to kiss her again, only to be stopped by Buffy’s arm. He sighed loudly.

“I mean it.” She half said, half whined, not really sure if she wanted the kissing to stop.

“Okay. ‘Okay’” He breathed, sitting up, and running a hand through his bleached curls, which had come undone in their heavy make-out session.

Buffy sat up and started running her hands down her shirt and short skirt, smoothing the wrinkles from the thin material. She then pulled the visor down and used the small mirror that was hidden there to fix her hair.

Spike watched her, amused. She was always so worried about the way she looked. Didn’t she know that she always looked beautiful to him, always perfect. Jeez, anymore all he had to do was think about her and he’d be sporting a stiffy for the next few hours. And was that the most embarrassing thing ever?

She then gave him a dazzling smile, one that almost made him pounce on her again, and asked him, “You ready? I wanna ride the roller coaster before the lines get too long.”

He chuckled at the pure innocence in her voice, and smiled. It was beyond him how she could go from a wanton, wild woman to a sweet innocent girl in less than a minute. “Sure, pet. Let’s go ride the roller coaster, luv. And afterwards, I’ll maybe even buy you some cotton candy.”

She smiled brightly at him as he opened his door. “Promise?”

~*~*~*~

“Giles!” Buffy yelled from the stairs, still in her pjs. A huge, brilliant smile spread across her face before she rushed down the stairs and into her ‘other father’ figure’s arms.

Giles didn’t know what hit him. He had been in the middle of a very heated discussion with his son about the importance of marriage and how it shouldn’t be entered into lightly. He knew that his young son was not truly in love with Cordelia, and had been trying for over an hour to explain to him how imperative it was for him to tell her and put an end to the engagement now, rather than later, before he regretted it for the rest of his life. He had just gotten to the part about taking vows, and being with the right person when he suddenly found himself with an arm full of Buffy.

He instinctively let his arms come up and wrap themselves around her tiny little form, and rested his chin atop her blonde head. “Buffy.”

She pulled back smiling the brightest smile the older Brit had ever seen. “Good lord, you’ve grown.” She laughed softly, stepping back.

“Makes me feel bloody old.” Giles said, looking to his son, who also had a huge smile on his face. It wasn’t there a second ago, and Giles realized that it must had spread across his son’s face the moment the petite blonde came into the room.

Both Spike and Buffy chuckled at his comment.

“Morning Spike.” Buffy turned her radiant smile to the younger man, who returned it in kind.

“Morning, pet.”

“So how was San Francisco?” Buffy asked Giles, teasingly.

“It was as good as can be expected.” Giles replied, not one for sharing intimate details.

She raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow in inquiry. “Really? Well, then who’s this woman that Spike mentioned?”

Giles blushed, then shot a glare at his son who stood behind Buffy. He had the sudden urge to clean his glasses for some reason, and did just that.

Both blondes laughed at that.

Giles cleared his throat and placed the frames back on the bridge of his nose.

“Her name is Olivia and she’s an Art History professor at a local college up there. We met at a bookstore in LA when I was visiting Angel and she was there for a conference. We spent the day together and then decided to keep in touch. I really didn’t expect her to call, but some time around April, she rang me up to met up again. And the rest, I’m afraid, is history.”

Spike laughed from his spot behind Buffy, earning both of their attention. “Yeah, Da’ here went up to visit in April and hasn’t been back since.”

Buffy snickered loudly at that. “Wow, Giles. Seems you’re getting some serious action, huh?”

The older mad decided to ignore the comment, and replied to his son’s previous one. “Well, I’m here now, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, Spike, you’re lucky that he crawled outta bed long enough to attend his son’s wedding, what which all the sweaty, naughty sex I bet was going on.” Buffy interjected, when she couldn’t control the urge to tease her best friend’s father a little bit more.

Spike had a weird look on his face then, which probably was due to the vivid imagery that Buffy had conjured up of his father engaging in any kind of sex act, and Giles refused to make eye contact with either of them.

Silence set in.

“How ‘bout breakfast?” Spike offered, feeling the need to break the quiet. Buffy and Giles answered at the same time.

“Sound great.”

“Yes, please.”

~*~*~*~

Buffy swirled the last bite of her delicious pancakes into a large amount of syrup, and scooped it into her mouth, before she moaned her approval, and chewed softly.

Spike watched her intently, barely touching his own pancakes, while Giles was oblivious to the whole thing.

Buffy swallowed, and smiled sweetly. “Spike, you make the bestest Buffy pancakes ever.”

He chuckled tenderly, and took her plate to place in the sink. “Glad you liked ‘em, pet.” He sat back down, and reached for his glass of orange juice, bringing it gently to his lips.

“Loved ’em. That was probably the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth.”

…And promptly spit it everywhere.

“Bloody ’ell, son. What ever are you doing?” Giles asked, having either not heard the comment or not understanding how incredibly erotic it sounded.

Buffy frowned, then blushed when she suddenly ‘got’ it. ‘God, could I be any more of an idiot? My foot seems to live in my mouth these days…’

Spike sputtered, and stood up quickly to clean the mess up, all the while avoiding Buffy’s eyes. “Don’t drink the juice.” He told his father, trying to quickly come up with an explanation to his little fiasco. “It’s bleedin’ horrible.”

“I’ll try to remember.” His father told him, grabbing the newspaper and letting his eyes wonder over all the printed words of the front page.

Spike finally looked at Buffy, and almost laughed at the absurdity of it all. She smiled a sheepish smile at him, and bite her lip to keep from laughing, even as Spike was trying to do the same. The laughter bubbled up inside of them both, until they couldn’t take it anymore, and it escaped their lips. Giles sat stunned, not having a clue what was going on, as his son, and his son’s best friend laughed hysterically, for five minutes straight. One of them even snorted once or twice, which only fueled their laughter more, and it started all over again. Finally, he gave up on his morning paper, and went to go take a shower. Only after his left the room, did the two blondes finally calm down enough to speak properly.

“Best thing you ‘ad in your mouth, eh, pet?” Spike asked suggestively, wagging his eye brows at her. She just laughed again before giving him a knowing smirk.

“‘Cept ‘that’.” She smiled at Spike’s stunned look, before standing and walking out of the room to go get dressed.

~*~*~*~

Spike waited until Buffy sat down in the first red and black car, then follow suite and climbed in beside her, and pulled the safety bar down over their laps. After hearing the tell-tell click which let them know that it was securely in place, he let go of it, and took a hold of Buffy’s hand, and squeezed it tightly to get her attention.

She had been like a child in a candy shop when they arrived at the carnival. Her bright hazel eyes lit up even more, and the huge smile that had spread across her face had still to fade even now. She had been overwhelmed with so many choices of where to go first, that she began jumping on the balls of her feet slightly, and yelling “oh!” every time another attraction would catch her interest. Needless to say, she had spent majority of the night dragging Spike by his arm to where she desired to go next.

“This is so great. I love roller coasters. Ever since I was little, and my dad took me to the carnival on the pier in LA, and we spent all day just riding the biggest one they had, and eating candied apples.” She smiled fondly, eyes seeming to glaze over as she was lost in a memory. A small frown then sudden spread across her beautiful face, and something in Spike’s chest tightened.

“Things will get better, pet. You’ve gotta believe that. Sure, your mum and da’ are going through a hard time right now, but they’re get through it.” Spike tried to reassure her, thumbs rubbing soft circles on the back of her hand, soothingly.

“What if it doesn’t, Spike? What if they end of getting a divorce, and then we have to move. I might never see you again.” She said, tears forming in her eyes.

Spike wanted nothing more at that moment than that it would never happen, but for some reason he couldn’t. A part of him knew that whatever Joyce and Hank were going through was much worse than what Buffy and Dawn had seen, and that maybe the damage caused couldn’t be repaired. There was a great chance that the two could get a divorce. There was a also a great chance that Buffy and Dawn would be moving soon, and he couldn’t bare the thought of losing his Buffy.

He couldn’t honestly remember what life was like without Buffy. She had been with him for so long, it was as if she had always been with him. Where he was, so was Buffy. He didn’t even want to begin to thought of how his life would be without her. The thought seemed foreign and not possible. Without Buffy, he wasn’t Spike.

“Don’t think that, luv. There isn’t anything in this world that would keep me from being with you.” He told her feverously, grasping her hand tighter in his own and bringing it up to his mouth. He place a loving kiss on her knuckles, and smiled a reassuring smile at her.

She gave him a watery smile in return, and leaned over to leave a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you, for always being here.” She said sincerely.

“Nowhere I’d rather be, pet.” He responded kindly.

The ride roared to life after the last car was seated and they waited for movement. The squeaking of the rusty chains signaled the beginning of the ride right before it started moving upward, pulling the cars with it.

Spike looked at her as she faced straight ahead, and noticed that her short mini skirt had rode up a bit with her slide into the car. A tantalizing view of tan skin greeted him, and he couldn’t help but follow it upward toward her shapely thighs. His hand, which had been resting comfortably on her upper thigh, her hand atop it, began to very slowly inch lower.

As it came in contact with her soft, warm skin, Spike almost gasped in pleasure. Lower still it crept, until the tops of his fingers were barely brushing the insides of her thighs, but still not enough to be underneath the hem of her silky skirt.

When she felt it, she gasped, head turning sharply in his direction, and looked at him with wide eyes. He heart slammed against her rib cage in her chest, and she had to fight to control her breathing.

The cars climbed higher, almost reaching the first level-out of track.

Spike’s eyes locked with hers and he silently asked for her permission, even as his hand inched down, and up underneath the edge of her skirt. He softly caressed the creamy skin he found there, and licked his suddenly dry lips. The tips then came in contact with her cotton panties, directly over her dripping center, and they both gasped.

“Buffy?” Spike questioned, needing to know that she was completely okay with what was about to happen if she didn’t stop it.

Her eyes were wide and glazed over with a deep lust and adoration. Lips, bee-stung and begging to be kissed hung open slightly as she had sharp in takes of breaths. She as almost shaking with anticipation, and want. She nodded vigorously.

Spike swallowed hard, knowing that everything would be different after this. He began moving his nimble fingers against the moisten material. Buffy’s breath rapidly became erratic and she clutched desperately at the leather of the seat digging small half moon marks on the tough material. Without thinking, Spike slide the offending material out of the way, and letting his fingertips penetrate her silky folds, but just a little bit.

“Spike…”She breathed, and the car climbed higher into the night sky.

‘Christ! This girl was gonna kill him with wanting her so much…’ He thought, watching as her bubblegum pink tongue poked out from between her tightly closed lips and swiped around her full glossy lips. ‘Bleedin’ hell, could she be anymore beautiful than she was at that moment?’

He slide close to her, wanting to be able to touch her at a better angle. It was everything he could do not to grab her, hop out of the moving car and carry her off to the nearest secluded area to have his wicked way with her. Thank God he was good at keeping his hormones under control-mostly anyway. Years of being in love with your best friend will do that to you.

‘Wait, in love? Is that what I am, in love?’ Spike thought, frowning briefly before deciding no to think about it right now. Right now he just wanted to give his girl the best first orgasm she could possibly have.

Once he was close enough, he used the extra leverage he now had to bury his fingers deep inside of her. God, she was so very wet, he groaned. Just knowing that he had done this to her almost sent him over the edge.

The car reached the first leveled-out plane, and they rounded a corner that would eventually lead to the first, and the largest hill of the entire ride.

Buffy moaned loudly, but the sound was drowned out by the tons of screams and laughter around them. Her eyes were closed, and her head was flung back in ecstasy. Spike exploded her depths, searching for her pleasure point, curling his fingers upward and finding her spongy g-spot.

“Oh, God, Spike.” She breathed, one of her hands clutching at his working one, thrusting her hips upward to counter his movements, and increase the pressure. It felt so good, his soft flesh touching her own, sending jolts of pleasure, beginning at her core and radiating out from there throughout her whole body. “Don’t stop, please. Please, don’t stop.”

He leant over to nibble on her ear lope, then trailed a line of wet, open mouthed kisses along the line of her jaw and throat, swirling his tongue in the hollow of her throat. When she moaned and let her head fall to the side, allowing him better access, Spike smiled against her throat.

Their ride was pulled closer and closer to the big dip by the old rusty chain dragging it slowly. But neither passenger in the first car was paying any attention.

Buffy's mewls of passion rang in his ears as he rubbed her, making his hard-on pulse in his jeans almost painfully. His thumb found and massaged her clit.

“Spike, I need…I need…God, I need it, Spike.” She babbled, trembling violently. She was thrusting wildly against his moving fingers, mouth hung open in absolute bliss.

“What do need, Buffy?” Spike whispered huskily in her ear, adding a gentle nip for good measure.

She shook her head lazily, too lost in the sensations coursing through her body. “I-I don’t know. Please Spike!”

“Oh, oh!” She suddenly bucked against him, her hands grasping at his legs and the seat. Her juices flowed freely onto his fingers as the car soared down the hill, her cries of pleasure lost in a sea of screams from the cars behind them.

~*~*~*~

The riders of the coaster all exited the ride in a hurried rush, wanting to get to the next ride before the lines got too long. After the crowd has dissipated, two young blondes could be seen exiting the ride, hands entwined, kissing passionately as they stumbled through the exit gate.

Buffy broke the kiss when breathing back in issue and smiled up at the some handsome man she had ever laid eyes on. “Can we ride it one more time?” She smiled coyly.

Spike grinned wolfishly, and held her tight. “Anything for you, luv.”

“It seems different.” Buffy said in wonder, as she drug her fingertips along the old splintered grains in the wood that served as the walls of the aged tree house. She and Spike stood quietly in the large wooden play house, on opposite sides of the room, Buffy with her hands pressed up against the cool wood, and Spike with his hands on his hips.

It had been three days since Buffy had arrived in Sunnydale, two since Spike brought Giles home, and seven days until the wedding. Time sure was quickly flying by for Buffy, and she wasn’t sure if it was a blessing or a curse. On one had she couldn’t wait until this whole thing was over, and she could return to life in New York, but on the other, she absolutely dreaded the day when Spike and Cordelia would be married, and she would lose any chance she had at being with him once again. Either way, life was definitely going to change in a few days, whether she wanted it to or not.

“How’s that, pet?” Spike wondered from near the doorway, hands still on his hips in a casual stance.

Her head snapped up quickly, hazel eyes locking with blue. Everything was still for a moment, then a smile slowly formed on her face. “I don’t know, it’s just…whenever I was up here before, I’d always think of our childhood. You know, when we met, our silly play dates, unbelievably time-consuming homework sessions…”

They both chuckled softly at that, as she tried to articulate what she wanted to say next. “Now, all I can think about is-” But she quickly cut herself off there before she revealed more than she wanted him to know about how she felt.

Spike already knew what she was going to say though, and he smiled lovingly at her even as she turned away from him in embarrassment. He took a step toward her, and leant against the wall adjacent to the one behind her. His voice was low and rough when he spoke. “That last night?”

She turned around and met his eyes again, nodding slowly, as the beginning of a smile curled her lips. “It’s weird. So many things happened here, so many important life changing things, and the only one I can recall right now is that night.” She laughed nervously and ran a hand through her long hair.

“Well, it ‘was’ a pretty big life changing thing, pet. ‘S only natural for it to be something you think about often.” Spike said, unconsciously taking another step closer to the woman across from him.

“I know.” She breathed heavily, leaning back and resting her back and head on the wall behind her. She crossed her arms over her chest. “Losing my virginity was a very big life altering event for me.”

A sliver a pride and a bigger slice of lust shot through Spike’s body at her words, and he couldn’t help but be reminded of their night together, and how it felt to be inside her. He almost shook with the intensity at which the vision of them together hit him, and he hardened in his jeans. Standing straight and dropping his arms to rest in front of his body, trying to hide his erection from her wondering eyes.

She laughed gently, standing up straight herself, and making it a point to look anywhere but directly into his eyes when she spoke. “But not because it was my first time.”

“Then why, ducks?” Spike asked, curious, his brows furrowed.

“Because it was my first time with you.” Buffy’s whispered words sounded so sincere to his hopeful ears, and he found he wasn’t in control of his body anymore as it took another step toward her, then another and another, and didn’t stop until he was standing directly in front of her petite form.

The small blonde suddenly realized how close they were, and her eyes slowly raised to his. She drew in a sharp breath, her chest heaving, drawing the attention of the man before her downward.

“First and only time.” She heard him say, and his voice was deep and husky, filled with something she recognized as lust, and desire.

“Doesn’t make it any less special.” She told him honestly, and her voice was starting to sound a lot like his now, she noticed. Her own brain was fuzzy and lust altered, and she involuntarily licked her full pink lips, hazel eyes darting back and forth from Spike’s eyes, to his own lips.

“No.” He whispered, wondering how they were still managing to keep a real conversation going. The heat definitely still existed between them, and it had a way of making him forget that he was, in fact, engaged and going to be married in just a few days time. Taking another step forward, he placed his palms flat on the cool wood, one on each side of her head, as she leant back against the wall for support. “It was very special, alright. Couldn’t think of anything else for weeks…months after.”

“Oh?” Buffy raised an eye brow in surprise. She never really let herself think about whether or not Spike would be all that broken up about their parting. Sure, she knew that he really did mean it when he told her that he loved her, but she figured that once she was out of town for a few weeks, that he would have dub the whole relationship-that-wasn’t a lost cause and move on.

“Was hard not to, pet. It being the best and worse bloody night of my life, and all.” Spike confessed, leaning down a little bit toward her face, eyes never leaving hers.

“Is that right?” She posed, tilting her own head back to bring her open lips closer to his.

Something about the way she said that last sentence, voice all low and seductive, like a wanton woman who knew exactly what she wanted and how to get it, just about had Spike cumming in his pants. His hands slid lower down the wall, coming to a stop just above her shoulders, itching to grab her and haul her to his lips. “Mmm Hmm. Finally got the chance to make love to you, only to loose you in the morning.”

Buffy sucked in a ragged breath at his words, and let her eye lids fall close, concentrating on the feelings coursing through her. Her heart was thudding violently against her chest, and tiny beads of sweat were starting to form on her brow.

“So, yeah.” Spike continued, leaning down closer yet. “It was the best and worse night of my life.”

“What does that mean?” Buffy questioned, eyes wide and hopeful.

Spike smiled lovingly down at her, and leaned in to met her lips with his. “It means…” He whispered. “That I still-”

“Spike are you up there?”

Cordy’s loud shrilling startled them, and they jumped apart, already hearing the other woman’s expense heels on the wooden pegs that served as a ladder up the trunk of the tree. When she reached the landing, she brushed herself off, and checked her heels. “God, that ladder sucks beyond the telling of it. What the hell are you doing up here?” She asked, finally looking up at them. “And with her?”

Both blondes looked extremely nervous, guilty even, and Cordy was not stupid. They wouldn’t even look at each other, let alone at her. Putting her hands on her hips harshly, she huffed. “Okay, what the ‘hell’ did I just walk in on?”

Both heads snapped up to look at her simultaneously, and she quirked an eye brow expectantly. “Well?”

“N-nothing.” Spike rasped, then stop to clear his suddenly fry throat. He was partly glad that Cordelia showed up when she did, but a bigger part of him was mightily pissed off that she interrupted what was clearly turning out to be one of the hottest experiences of his life. “Nothing happened, pet. We were just up here, you know, taking a trip down memory lane, and all.”

Cordelia still didn’t look convinced as she looked back and forth between the two blondes, but didn’t push the issue any more. Spike let out a long shaky breath, and ran a hand through his slicked back locks. ‘Thank God she has no idea what happened up here.’ He thought, knowing that no one who knew would tell her about the last time he and Buffy were alone up here.

“How’s your day been going, Cordy?” Buffy suddenly spoke up, voice raspy from a dry throat. Cordelia gave her an odd look, as if to say ‘why are you talking to me?’, then opened her mouth to respond.

“Fine.”

Buffy nodded nervously, wrapping her arms around her small frame, as if to shield herself from something, and smiled awkwardly. “T-that’s good. Real good.”

“Yeah, okay…” The dark haired woman answered slowly.

“I should probably be going.” Buffy told Spike, smiling kindly. “I was gonna stop by my dad’s and see if Dawn wanted to go to the beach with me. Gotta take advantage of that California sun while we can, right?”

“Yeah, right.” Spike nodded, giving her a small smile. “Bit’s pro’lly just itchin’ to get out there and get a tan, eh?”

Buffy laughed softly. “You betcha. Although it been so long, I’m pro’lly gonna haveta teach her how to swim again.” She joked.

“Well, I learned how when my uncle took me out on his yacht, and threw me off the side of it.” Cordelia interjected, stepping closer to Spike, and giving Buffy a challenging smile.

“He wasn’t trying to teach you how to swim, Cordelia.” Buffy said straight faced, which earned a deep chuckle from Spike. Cordelia smacked his chest, scowling at him.

~*~*~*~

Entering the three story suburban house that used to be her own home, Buffy was greeted with silence as soon as she stepped over the threshold. The hallway, and entrance landing were empty, the stairs being the only thing occupying the entire front foyer. Walking further into the place she once called ‘home’, Buffy saw that both the dining room, and living room were also vacant, and they only sound was the loud clicking of her boot heels against the glossy wooden floor.

“Hello?” She called, wondering where everybody had gone off to. She started down the hallway leading to the kitchen. “Hel-lo?”

“Buffy?”

She jumped around sharply, surprise evident on her face. “Jesus, dad, you scared the hell outta me!”

He laughed softly, having witnessed the first time his daughter had swore in front of him or her mother. “Sorry, huney. Didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”

She looked away for a moment, then meet his eyes again. “It’s fine. Is Dawn around. I was gonna spend the day at the beach. Thought she might like to go with.”

“Oh, actually she’s not here.” Her dad informed her, waving his hand in the air to gesture toward Dawn’s room.

Buffy’s brow furrowed and he frowned. “Where’d she go?”

“Cecily had to go the mall to find something to where for her big work dinner. Dawn decided to tag along. Those two seem to have bonded over the last three days. They’re inseparable.” Hank said, beaming like the proud father he was. He was very excited to know that his youngest daughter and new fiancé were getting along so well. ‘Now if only I can get Buffy to get along with her…and me, fro that matter…’ He thought.

‘Oh, God, no. It’s all my fault. I let this happen.’ Buffy thought, saddened, but strangely sarcastic. ‘I left Dawn alone for three days, and the uber step-mom from planet Cosmo got her. She’s turned my baby sister into one of them. What am I gonna do now. I may have lost her forever.’

“Oh.” She said, disappointed. “W-well, that’s okay, then. Looks like it’s just me, a beach towel, and my sun block.” She smiled, trying to cheer herself up.

“You could stay here for a while. I mean, if you want to. We could hang out, be civil, and just talk. It’ll be just like old times.” Hank smiled, hoping that it would be contagious and she’d want to stay and spend time with him. When he saw that she was about to turn down the offer he added, “Come on, I’ll even do the girl thing with ya. You know, sit around sharing a pint of chubby hubby and talk about boys.”

The petite blonde gave her father an odd look, wondering how he could possibly know she much about a typical girl’s night. It sounded as though he participated in many a chubby hubby fest in his time. Buffy almost laughed out loud at the thought.

“You know, I think I’m just gonna go ahead and go to the beach. Don’t wanna miss out on all the sun.” She smiled uneasily, slipping a strand of hair behind her right ear, before slipping past her father, toward the front door.

“Well, you know if you ever need anything, or even to just talk…I’m here, right?” He asked her softly, sincerely…lovingly.

Buffy half returned the smile, reaching for the door knob. “I know, dad.”

And then she was gone.

~*~*~*~

Smiling a thousand watt smile as she exited one of the many shops in downtown Sunnydale, Anya clutched her purse in one hand, and her numerous shopping bags in the other. It was like sign from above, really. All those sales, all on the same day, in all of her favorite stores. Clearly proof that God loved her. He must be rewarding her for all her patriotism.

She continued walking briskly down the sunny street, happiness written all over her pretty face. Glancing sideways, she noticed Buffy walking down the street in the opposite direction, on the opposite side of the street. Her good mood immediately dissipated when she saw the frown that marred the younger blonde’s face. Quickly making up her mind, Anya made sure the path was clear, and hurried across the street.

“Buffy! Hey, Buffy, wait up!”

~*~*~*~

Buffy slowed down when she heard Anya’s voice behind her, letting the other blonde catch up. “Hi Anya.” She greeted, smiling friendly.

“Buffy.” Anya breathed, clearly out of breath from running to catch up. “Geesh, where’re you headed in such a hurry? Say, are you meeting someone for many orgasms?”

Buffy slowed her pace even more at Anya’s over cheerful words. “N-no, I don’t think so.”

“Well, you should try it. It might cheer you up a bit.” She smiled, trying to help.

When she finally earned a smile from the shorter female, she laughed softly. “Know I could get a laugh outta ya. So, what’s up? You looked incredibly depressed back there.”

Buffy looked down at her feet, slipping a rebellious strand of hair behind her ear with a nimble finger. “It’s nothing, really.”

“Oh, please tell me. I’ve very good with these types of delicate situations.” Buffy looked up at her strangely, and raised an eye brow. Then after realizing that this was just Anya’s weird way of trying to help, and shook her head, willing herself to open up to the older blonde.

“It’s just…” She paused, trying to find the right way to articulate her thoughts. “I’m just feeling a little lost right now, I guess. I mean, I don’t think I really fit here anymore. Maybe too much time has past for me to just come back here and expect everything to be the same, ya know? And now Dawn’s gone all Stepford child with the new step-mommy, and it’s really starting to wig me out.” Buffy paused, running a hand through her hair roughly, irritated beyond belief. Anya kept quiet, letting her get this off her chest. “Plus this whole wedding thing is just too bizarre. With the whole Spike marrying Cordelia and everything. It’s just not the natural order of things. The whole world is falling apart and somehow, I’m the only one who sees it.”

By the time she was finished, Buffy was breathing hard, and Anya felt as though she should too. “So, you’re upset because Spike’s marrying Cordelia, while you’re still in love with him, and want him for yourself. Plus the fact that you’re too afraid to do anything about your feelings, and his refusal to admit his own is really not helping matters. And now since Dawn is making nice with Cecily, he feel left and replaced, thus leading to feel lost and questioning why you even came back here.”

Buffy stopped dead in her tracks and stared wide-eyed at Anya. “Has anyone told you that you would make a great therapist?”

“All the time.” She told her, waving her arm, piffling the whole thing away. “I’m not therapist though. That’s Xander’s thing. I’m more into the fondling of the money thing.” She smiled brightly, and they continued to walk.

“But the whole Spike and me thing…and the feelings, which are so not there anymore…” Buffy began, trying desperately to weasel her way out of it.

“Oh, for crying out loud, Buffy.” Anya shouted, startling Buffy and making her jump. “Why don’t you just tell the man you’re still in love with him?”

“Because I’m not still in love with him.” She reply quickly, maybe a little too quickly.

“You are.” Anya told her firmly.

“I’m not.” Buffy replied just as firmly.

“Oh, you so are.”

“Really, I’m not.”

“Are to.”

“Are n-” Buffy shook her blonde head, trying to clear her mind of all the confusing thoughts, but to no avail. “Look Anya, I appreciate your help, really I do, but I don't need advise on my love life right now.”

“But you do.” Anya interjected, undauntedly. “You obviously need help telling Spike how you feel about him.”

Buffy was about to say that she didn’t have any feelings for him anymore, but then remembered how that turned out just a moment ago when she’d done that. “Look, it doesn’t matter anyway. Say I do still have feelings for him, which by the way, I don’t, but if I did, it wouldn’t make a difference. Spike’s taken.”

But Anya just piffled that away too with a wave of her hand. “Please, Spike’s not taken.”

“Anya, he’s engaged!”

“So!” She replied, and Buffy’s eyes went wide again. “So he’s engaged. Rule number one, Buffy, a man isn’t ‘taken’ unless he’s married…or duct taped to his girlfriend’s radiator.” She paused, as if going over what she had just said, and then: “But even then she better watch her back.”

~*~*~*~

The cool gritty grains of sand were welcomed as they pressed softly against the bottoms of Buffy’s feet, while she walked the shore line, shoes in her hands. The beach was beautiful at sunset, and Buffy was fully enjoying the sight of the sun going down on the horizon that over looked the sparkling clear waters of the ocean.

Lost in thought, Buffy smiled in the cool evening air, and kept trudging through the thickness of the sand. Anya had brought to her attention some very important things. Maybe all hope wasn’t lost as far as she and Spike were concerned. If Anya of all people thought that she had a chance at snagging Spike back, then chances are that she really did. The older woman may be very blunt and sometimes rude, but she knew her stuff when it came to relationships, having been in at least dozens during high school.

But did Buffy really have it in her to ‘snag’ Spike back from his fiancé? Did she really want to? She would be breaking up a possibly happy, and long-lasting marriage for something that may or may not last between her and Spike. She would be a home-wrecker. Would she be able to live with that?

She closed her eyes, and a memory assaulted her senses. It was of them, three years ago, right after they had learned of Joyce and Hank’s divorce. Joyce had accepted the job offer in New York, and they would be on the first flight there in two day’s time. Spike had come to her bedroom window, disheveled and distraught beyond any other time before. He had been babbling, pacing back and forth in front of her bed, trying to come up with some sort of plan to keep her there, with him.

“Marry me!” He cried, coming to her and kneeling at her bedside as she sat back against the headboard.

“What?” She whispered, not believing her own ears.

“Marry me.” He said again, smiling desperately, reaching out for her hand, and squeezing it tight. “We could run away to Vegas, elope, and then your mum couldn’t make you go with ‘er. They can’t expect you to leave your husband, right, pet?”

But Buffy had calmly told him that she wasn’t ready to get married, wasn’t sure if they even could at their ages, and was very sorry. He told her not to apologize, and held her in his arms until she fell asleep.

She was broken out of her little trip down memory lane by a voice calling out her name. She turned around and came face to face with Spike, running up the beach, shoes off and shirt unbuttoned half way down his chest. He was a vision a pure masculine beauty, and Buffy felt her own body heat up. God, the things, feelings, this man could make her feel. It should be a sin, really.

She smiled at him as he came to stand in front of her. “Spike, what’re you doing here?”

He shrugged, running a hand through his bleached locks, and smiled boyishly at her, almost shy-like. She found it adorable. “‘M not sure, pet. Went to visit your da’ about some details with the wedding, and I remembered you mentioned coming to the beach. Thought I’d join you.”

“What are ‘you’ doing here?” He wondered aloud after a moment of silence.

“Just thinking’” She replied, looking back out to the glistening water.

“‘Bout what?”

She sighed loudly, turning to look into his beautiful baby blue orbs. She was quiet for a moment, searching his eyes for something. Whatever it was, she must have found it, because she answered his question with a single word.

“You.”

“Me?” He asked, confused, a frown on his handsome face.

“Well, to be more accurate, the wedding.” She amended, looking away again. “And about how much I’m gonna hate it.”

She laughed bitterly, not even bothering to look at his confused expression.

“Why’s that, pet?” He inquired patiently, wanting, needing for her to tell him how she felt. His eyes never left her form, and he wanted some much to just take her in his arms and never let her go again. Seeing that she was finally looking at him again, he remained silent.

“You know why.” She told him, reaching a hand out to cup his cheek, letting herself revel in the joy of feeling him so closely again. She continued to gaze at his chiseled face, but now her eyes weren’t focused anymore. She as looking, not directly in his eyes, but over his shoulder. She smiled sadly. “Sometimes I wish things could be different, ya know?” She wondered, tears beginning to form in her hazel eyes.

Spike said nothing, knowing instinctively that she wasn’t finished and needed to get this all off her chest.

She snuffled, and then took her hand away to wipe frantically at her face, as if she realized for the first time how vulnerable she was right then. “No, I guess you don’t, huh?” She smiled, dejectedly.

“Don’t I?” Spike asked, grabbing her upper arms, knowing intuitively that she would feel the need to run away in order to protect her heart. He lazily draped his arms around her waist and held her near, making sure she had no where to run.

“Pro’lly not.” She told him, even a her heart beat sped up. A familiar trickle of arousal raced through her body when she saw him wet his pink lips with his tongue. Sifting her fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck, she slowly pulled his lips down to hers. Her eyes fluttered shut instinctively, all senses concentrating on the feelings that his soft lips provoked.

Spike inwardly groaned. She still tasted the same-strawberries, and vanilla, and something purely Buffy. The taste drove him mad with unrestrained lust. He just couldn’t get enough of it. Her lips easily fitted his and made his whole body come alive. He felt her bubblegum tongue flutter out and sweep across his lower lip, and he met it with his own. He kissed her deeply, feeling their tongues melt together and dance in the wet inferno of her mouth.

She moaned softly into the kiss, mover her body to press even more intimately against his, molding them together in a perfect fit. Tightening her grip on his neck, she shifted her head to one side, his moving to the other in a perfected synchronized motion. Tangling her fingers in his hair, she felt him pull her closer yet, deepening the kiss even more, as the sky opened up above them and rain came pouring down, soaking them through and through.

The cool, wetness didn’t faze the couple though, and the kiss seemed to go on for hours, days even. Thunder rolled in, and the heavens cracked loudly. The skies light up briefly as lightning flashed once, twice, thrice. The wind picked up quickly rustling trees, churning the sea higher and higher, waves rolling in toward their feet.

~*~*~*~

From the parking lot, in the safety of his car, Hank watched his eldest daughter and her best friend locked in a passionate embrace. He smiled fondly, started his engine up again, and drove toward Revello Drive.



Please review!

Chapter 22: The Long Kiss Goodbye

3 Years ago, Sunnydale:

The tree house was silent and dark as Buffy pushed herself further into a corner, desperately trying to hide herself from her worried parents as they ran out of the house with her little sister, quickly climbing into their green SUV. The engine roared to live, and the vehicle pulled out of the driveway, and rushing down the street. They never noticed the tiny form of said missing daughter huddled against the wooden wall of the tree house high above the Giles’ backyard.

Buffy had been hiding out up here for the last four hours, having stormed out of the house right after dinner and a huge blow up between everyone in the Summers’ household. She had originally had planned to just climb into Spike’s bedroom window and wait there for him to get home from wherever it was he had accompanied his father to. Having found his window locked for the first time in well, forever, she had decided to hang out in the old tree house in his yard, realizing that if her parents were to notice she was missing and decide to look for her, that the last place they would look was right next door up here. Common sense just really didn’t apply to her parents for some reason.

The ultimate plan had been based on the simple idea that if her parents couldn’t find her then they couldn’t make her good to New York with her mother and Dawn tomorrow morning. Both young girls had been informed just two days ago that their parents’ divorce had gone through and that Joyce had went and accepted a job offering in New York. They had literally come out of nowhere for the two Summers daughters and neither had taken it very well. Dawn had locked herself in her room for the rest of the day, and Buffy had taken off next door to be with Spike.

The bleach blonde hadn’t taken it so well either, and Buffy had to end up comforting him instead. Her parents and Giles had even let her spend the night with him, having come to check on her long after she and Spike had fallen asleep in each other’s arms. Thank God that they missed his marriage proposal.

The next day Buffy and Dawn were withdrawn from school, and both made with the tear jerking goodbyes. The Scoobies had even played hooky that day to stay home with her. Even Anya and Tara came over, and they had a semi-party. Each and everyone one of her friends had promised to write, and call, and fly out for the occasional visit. But Buffy was very aware of the inevitable break off a long distance friendship usually had, and understood that although the letters and phone calls would last for a while, they wouldn’t continue forever, and all her Sunnydale relationships were in danger of failing in the long run.

The one she was most worried about though, was her relationship with Spike. They had finally moved past the just friends line, and things were getting very heated between them. Just the other day the carnival had pushed them into a huge step towards seriousness, and now it would all be for nothing. And this was just awful because Buffy was finally realizing what being in love felt like, and she would never get the chance to hear Spike say those words to her.

Of course he had promised to call everyday, write her just as much, and come to see her as soon as he graduated in less than a year. He had even clamed he would get an apartment close to hers, made even in the same building, so that they could see each other everyday. If only everything was promised to work out the way the dreamed it would…

One thing was very sure, Buffy’s relationship with her father would never be the same after all this was through. How was she supposed to ever forgive him for ruining her life, taking away everything she’d ever known.

“Buffy?”

Her blonde head turned sharply to the direction in which Spike’s voice had come from, an anxious expression clouding her features. “Spike.”

“Buffy what the ‘ell are you doing up here. We’ve ‘ad a whole damn search party out there looking’ for you.” He breathed, like he had just came back from running a marathon. He came toward her, kneeling in front of her hunched form, concerned. “You alright, pet?”

“Search party?” She asked confused, her brows knitting together in a frown.

“Yeah, you’re ‘rents called me and my da’ at the store, and said that you ran away. I called the gang and now there all out there looking’ for you.” He told her, frowning.

“Then why are you here?”

“Had a hunch you’d be here. Told m’dad I had to take a piss.” He chuckled softly.

Buffy laughed too, and offered him a loving smile. “You were really out there looking for me?”

“Yeah. I was worried sick when your mum said that you were missing.” He said sincerely, reaching out to run the back of his hand across her cheek lovingly.

Buffy smiled and pushed her face toward the warmth of his hand. She thought that fact that he was that worried about her was very endearing, and only made her want him more. “Spike?”

“Yeah?” His voice was husky, and full of longing.

“I’m leaving tomorrow, and I might never see you again.” When she saw Spike about to protest, she held up her hand to stop him. “Wait, just let me say this.”

He nodded.

“If that is true. If we really never will get the chance to see each other again. I need you to do something for me.” She told him, voice calm and level, even though on the inside she her heart was slamming against her chest.

“Anything, pet.” He whispered, voice full of conviction.

“I want you to make love to me.” She said softly, eyes looking everywhere but at him.

Spike swallowed hard as his eyes widened, not sure if he heard her right. “Buffy…are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” She whispered, raising her eyes to his as she nodded. Then she suddenly looked very nervous. “I-I mean, if you want to. But if you don’t, I’ll understand. We haven’t been together for very long, and you may not want to-”

She was immediately silenced as his lips fused with hers, pulling her body fully against his, and tangling his fingers in her hair. Swiftly turning them around, he removed his duster and spread it out on the old wooden floor, before laying her down gently beneath him. The passion of the kiss escalated as his hands worked their way under her top, feeling the soft, warm skin underneath.

They continued kissing for several minutes until they were both out of breath and then he began kissing his way slowly down her neck onto her chest. Spike’s lips left a trail of wet kisses down the soft, salty skin of her neck, tongue coming out to taste the hollow of her throat, teeth nipping lightly in every place in between. He began slowly unbuttoning the front of her top, growing painfully hard at the knowledge that he was finally about to make love to his best friend.

Buffy felt a fire rip through her body as he kissed her. Arching her back as he worked on the tiny buttons of her shirt, she moaned softly when she felt his arousal on her inner thigh. Finally popped the last button open, Spike broke away from the kiss as he parted the shirt, staring at her in all her beauty, finding her sans bra. Buffy nervously crossed her arms in front of her chest, even as Spike reached for her again.

“Don’t.” He whispered, slowly moving the hands that obstructed her body from his lustful gaze and slipped the top off her shoulders. “You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of, pet. You’re so bloody beautiful.”

Spike stared down at Buffy's bare breasts, gently trailing a hand over a breast to palm it in his hand. He caressed the bottoms with his hands as he leaned down to swirl his tongue around her delicate pink nipples, sucking on them greedily as he moaned in pleasure.

“God, Spike.” Buffy wrapped her arms around him, holding his head in place. His hands were everywhere at once, and Buffy’s senses were on overload, feeling so many feelings at once that she thought she would explode. It felt so good!

He trailed his lips back up to her throat, licking the spot where her ears met her neck, before sucking a lope into his waiting mouth. His lips found hers once more and Buffy kissed him back with equal fever, hungrily devouring him. Pressing her body more firmly against his hard one, she grinded her lower body against his and gasped sharply into his mouth when she felt his rather large erection again.

As the heated passion threatened to consume them, Spike felt Buffy’s tiny hands working on his belt buckle and moaned as she slipped the pants down his legs and took his hardened erection in her hand.

He broke away from her lips and looked at her, shocked. He was frozen and had an awed expression on his face, watching as her lips curl up into a proud smile, loving the power she held over him immensely.

Spike swallowed, mouth quivering. An urgent whisper escaped his open lips. “Buffy…”

His beautiful blue orbs seemed to roll back in his head. His eyes were glazed over with lust, and darkened to a shade of midnight blue. His kiss swollen mouth hung open, as he panted hard.

Buffy licked her dry lips when she felt him pulse beneath her hand.

With a great deal of control, Spike broke away from her, taking her hand in his to hault her actions. She gave him a questioning look, and he explained: “Not yet, luv. I want to please you first. I’ gonna make you cum so hard. Make you scream ‘til your bloody lungs ‘urt.” With that, he gave her earlope another long lick and descended her body again.

"Spike?" Buffy breathed, missing the contact with his skin and not fully understanding want he meant to do. She raised her head from the soft pillow of his jacket and looked at him as he raised his index finger to his lips.

"Shh, luv." He then moved his hands to the waistband of her jeans, snapped them open, and slowly eased them from her slender body.

"Oh," Buffy whispered, her head falling back as she realized his intentions. Spike chuckled as he ran his hands back up her legs, lightly brushing the inside of her thighs, before moving his hands back to hips and repeating the whole process with her panties.

His tongue made it's way down her taunt stomach. Buffy drew in a breath as he moved his mouth over her sex, and Spike smirked to himself as she began squirming her hips in anticipation. His lips barely garzed her dripping center though, but instead moved to the creamy skin of the inside of her left thigh where he planted soft kisses as he caressed her calf and gently stroked the sensitive area behind her knee.

"Please," Buffy begged as the feeling welling inside her screamed for release. With a triumphant grin of masculine pride, Spike lowered his head towards her throbbing center. She bucked into his face at the feeling of his tongue running over her clit.

She was like a delicate untouched flower, so pink and glistening. He felt his cock get painfully hard as he watched her, moaning loadly as his fingers clutched the soft leather of his duster. She keened with pleasure as he continued his ministrations.

As Spike lapped greedily at the wetness between her legs, Buffy lowered her hands to his head, holding it in place against her as he brought her to an earth shattering climax.

"OH GOD YES!" Buffy screamed as she came in his mouth, arching her back and writhing in his arms as wave after wave of pure pleasure swept through her. He continued to lick and suck until the feeling became too much to bear and she pushed at his head, pulling on his hair to try and force him back up her body.

He moved willingly back to her mouth, kissing her deeply, and letting her taste herself on his lips and tongue. When she suddenly pulled away from him, Spike was sure she was gonna flee, instead, she pushed on his chest until he was lying on his back. She grinned down at him, a sexy smirk of a goddess.

“Your turn.” She rasped, voice low and husky, much like his. Extending her wet, pink tongue, she trailed her tongue down the middle of his chest as her fingers gripped his waist. When she reached his belly button she let her tongue delve inside, swirling it around and smiling against his soft skin when he groaned loudly.

He watched in fascination as she kissed, nibbled and teased him until he was writhing beneath her. When she reached his cock, he held his breath, waiting for her next move. His whole body was humming with lust and anticipation, and when she blew on him, his hips bucked and his hands balled into fist. "God," he hissed.

His shaft was as perfectly made as the rest of his body. Long and thick, with a blunt, bell shaped head that was large and swollen. Pearly drops of fluid oozed out of the slit, and she caught some of the tips of her finger as she swiped it over him. Locking her gaze with his, she slowly brought her finger up and licked the drop of semen from it. “Oh, fucking ‘ell, Buffy!” He cried, his blonde head falling back.

Feeling a feminine pride wash over her, Buffy smiled, and swirled her tongue around the head of his cock, tasting more of the salty pre-cum. She crawled over him and moving her mouth up and down his rigid cock, she slid a hand up his stomach to his flat chest.

When she enveloped him in the hot cavern of her mouth and hummed softly, he knew he wasn't going to last long. Wanting to be inside her when he came, he Bent and lifted her off him, only to adjust them so that she lay on her back, beneath him once more.

She looked up at him, surprised and wide eyed.

“I wanna be inside you when I cum, pet.” He told her sincerely, running his hands along her body, which was covered in a sheen layer on sweat.

Running her hands down his back, Buffy pushed him down onto her, and moaned deeply in the back of her throat as his erection rubbed against her moist entrance.

“You sure about this, pet. We can still stop.” He told her, silently begging her with his eyes not o say no. He was so worked up now, so full of lust and love for the girl laying beneath him, he wasn’t sure if he could stop. He had waited so long, wanted her so much…

Her answer was to roughly pull his lips down to hers, fusing their lips in a passionate kiss, tongues mating deeply.

Spike broke away from her mouth and locked eyes with Buffy as he pushed gently into her. His eyes rolled back as her heat engulfed him. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before in his entire existence. Held securely in a warm, satin covered glove. She was so wet and tight, he had to restrain himself from pounding her into the hard wooden floor. He paused when he reached her barrior, giving her another chance to put a stop to things.

“It’s going to ‘urt for a minute, kitten.” He told Buffy in a husky whisper. She locked eyes with him, telling him without words that she trusted him, that she wanted him. “You ready?” She nodded curtly and waited for the inevitable pain. Buffy’s eyes squeezed shut at he tore through her barrier, her nails digging into his back. She stifled a sob as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Spike stilled his movements as he tried to ccomfort her, pressing gentle kisses her her forehead, cheeks, temples, and finally on her lips, letting it become deeper and more passionate. “I’m so sorry, Buffy.” Spike gritted his teeth, not wanting to lose control too quickly, but knowing that he wasn't going to be able to hold on for long. Not with her.

“It’s okay.” Her voice was hoarse, and Spike could tell that she was still in a little pain. Slowly, her muscles began to relax around him as her hands released their hold. “It’s better,” she whispered before arching her hips against his.

He moved gently within her, building a rhythm, which she caught quickly. Breathes mingling, they lay, staring into each other's eyes as the tension built between them. When Spike felt himself getting close, he quickened the pace, causing Buffy to buck wildly against him. Slipping a hand between them, Spike rubbing her clit furiously, feeling her muscles contract around him, knowing that he was close.

When her orgasm finally hit her, Buffy screamed, and bucked violently against him, body spasming with each jolt of pleasure that ran through her. Her juices flowed freely out of her, onto Spike.

Her muscle contractions triggered Spike’s own orgasm, and her shouted her name as he climaxed, continuing to move within her, forcing her over the end once more.

They lay together, still joined and slick with sweat until their breathing calmed. Spike then gently eased out of her and rolled onto his back, pulling her with him so that she was cradled against his chest. He reached to his side where his duster had ended up, and pulled it up over their naked bodies.

“I love you, Buffy,” Spike murmured sleepily, kissing the top of her head as he hugged her even more tightly to him.

“I love you too, Spike,” Buffy smiled, realizing that even though she may not get her fairy tale ending, she would always at least have a piece of Spike that nobody could touch or take way.

~*~*~*~

The Giles house was dead quiet as Spike and Buffy made their way into the front foyer, drenched from head to toe in rain water. Buffy tipped-toed farther inside, as Spike pulled his key from the lock, and softly shut the door. He wasn’t sure if his father was home or not, having left the older man to go visit Hank next door earlier in the day, and didn’t want to alert him to their presence and have to come up with a fairly believable excuse as to why both he and the petite blonde in front on him were soaked to the bone.

Putting his keys on the old wooden table by the stairs softly, Spike looked up to find Buffy watching him curiously. Her bright hazel eyes locked with his own blue ones, and she smiled lovingly at his appearance.

Like her, he was just was wet. His bleached locks had come unglued from the super sticky confines of his hair gel, and they were now matted to the top of his head, a few rebellious strands hanging low on his forehead. Tiny beads of water stuck to his upper and lower lashes, making them appear even longer, causing to further draw out the brightness of his eyes as he stared at her patiently. His soft blue shirt clung to his chest and abdomen, the rock hard muscles of his upper body visible to her hungry gaze, and God, was she enjoying it. The tight black material of his jeans seemed even tighter as it clung to ever contour of his thighs and legs. Not to mention how much it outlined his manly parts.

Buffy blushed at that thought, and looked away shyly, desperately wanting him to say something. Anything to break this potentially awkward moment.

He said nothing though, but instead kept on staring at her, drinking in every detail, filing them away in his mind. She looked so beautiful, drenched with rain, and dripping onto his hard wood floors, as she kept silent. Her long blonde hair was tangled in several knots, doused down so that it clung to the side of her perfect face, hindering her left eye from his gaze. Small water droplets ran down the slope of her smooth cheek, along the dips of her neck and collarbone, then disappeared down the top of her damp shirt. Spike had the sudden desire to follow that same path with his tongue.

“So, um, what now?” Buffy asked, finally meeting his eyes again.

Spike swallowed slowly, giving his brain time to catch up to his penis. “W-well, now we, uh…well, we should probably…” But even he wasn’t quite sure where he was going with this, and decided to just let the thought linger for a moment, seeing if she would take the bait and decide to finish it for him.

“R-right, we should probably, you know, do that.” Her eyes widen the same time his mouth fell open, and she figured she should amend that. “W-well, you know, not that, because that would be wrong, but the that that we should probably do, ‘cause that is the right that…not the other one.”

She was clearly nervous, her brows furrowed, and even now had managed to confuse herself. She only rambled when she was nervous or unsure about something, and Spike knew he should probably stop her before she went full Willow-mode and he couldn’t stop her, but at the moment all he could concentrate on was her lips.

The way they looked. The way they moved as she rambled still. The way they were so soft and inviting, as if they were calling to him silently. They way that they kissed him on the beach earlier, like she could never need anyone else, like all the years apart didn’t mean a thing, like she still loved him after all this time.

And then Spike wanted-no, needed- to kiss her again.

When Buffy saw the look in his eyes, the lust that darken his icy blue orbs to a shade of dark navy, her own eyes widen in surprise. “Spike…” She breathed, slowly backing up even as he advanced on her tiny form. “We can’t…”

“Why not, Buffy?” He whispered, coming to stand directly in front of her, with his hands on either side of her shoulders, much like their pose earlier this morning when they had taken a lust-filled trip down memory lane up in the tree house. She had her back pressed up against the cool grains of wood in the wall behind her, trying very hard not to let him know just how he was affecting her. She had to stop this. It was wrong on so many levels. He was getting married for God’s sake, and she…well, she just couldn’t afford to have her heart broken again.

“B-because y-you’re engaged, to Cordelia.” She murmured softly, hazel eyes darting back and forth between his eyes and lips. Her breathing was erratic now, and she couldn’t seem to control her body’s response to his. Because God help her, she wanted to kiss him, badly.

Spike frowned, eyes downcast, focusing on her full pink lips that were glistening with a shear layer of water on them, making them look even more enticing to his hungry gaze. “Don’t-” He whispered dismayed, his throat closing up in frustration. “ Don’t say ‘er name. Just, let’s pretend that she isn’t here. Let’s pretend.”

Buffy’s eyes fluttered closed softly, and she licked her lips in anticipation. Spike smiled loving at her actions, and he slowly leaned down, letting his own eyelids flicker close as he neared her lips.

“William? Buffy? Is that you?”

Spike pulled back so quick that he lost his footing on the water slicked floor. Reaching out blindly for something to grasp onto to kept himself from falling, he let his hand clasp around the first thing her could reach. Unfortunately, that happened to be the petite blonde leaning her weight against the wall, and she began to wobble too. They both ended up toppling to the floor, and landed on their asses in a small puddle.

Looking up from his spot on the hard wood floor, Spike met the concerned eyes of his father. “Hi da’.”

Giles seemed even more confused now, and his brow furrowed in perplexity, as he stood tall in the entryway between the living room and the front foyer. “Good heavens, son! What on God’s earth are you two doing?”

Buffy smiled at him sheepishly, before scowling at the nervous bleached blonde to her left. “Thanks. I haven’t fallen on my ass nearly enough these past few days.” She whispered to him harshly.

Spike first gave her an apologetic look, before raising his eyebrows in an ‘we’ll talk later’ expression. Turning back to his father’s expectant look, he ran a hand through his dampened locks, biding his time.

But before the younger Englishman could come up with a sensible answer to his father’s inquiry, two other figures entered the room.

“Hi, little brother! Oh, hey, what’re you guys doing on the floor?” Angel stood behind Giles, frowning at the two drenched blondes that lay in the wetness of the floor. He had his arm around the waist of a beautiful blonde woman, that Buffy could only assume was Darla, and even she seemed to be greatly intrigued about what exactly had just occurred here.

Angel hadn’t changed much, Buffy noticed, and smiled inwardly at the thought. His dark brown hair was shorter, and still worn in the ever popular gelled do, standing on it’s ends. Dark brows lead down to warm chocolate eyes that seemed to hold wisdom beyond his years. His lips were tight, his frown deep and intense, as he stared down at them. His body held the appearance of a man who had gained a noticeable amount of weight, then lost it in every other place but his face. Small lines had begun to form on his forehead, undoubtedly from the years spent brooding over his past indiscretions, but he still was youthful, and handsome.

Darla, on the other hand, was a fit as they come. She was tall and thin, with bright green eyes, and shoulder length blonde hair that glittered in the California sun. Soft, pink lips outlined brilliantly white teeth, and produced one of the most beautiful smiles Buffy had ever seen. Her slender body was clothed in a red wrap dress that accented her curves, and protruding belly. She had the look of confident young woman, and proud mother-to-be who was also friendly and down to earth. And if Buffy was completely honest with herself, she could see she and Darla passing for sisters.

Suddenly Buffy felt very nervous, having three people staring down at them with expectant looks marring their faces, waiting, anticipating just exactly they would say as to why they both were soaking wet, and laying casually on the hard wood floor. She swallowed loudly, and her already wide eyes grew even wider, and she prayed that Spike would come up with some kind of excuse very soon.

But Spike kept silent, and the petite blonde next to him kicked him in the shin of his right leg. He yelped, surprised, and turned his eyes back to her, only to shot daggers at her before turning back to their audience. “We were just…” But he stopped suddenly, throat dry and closing up fast. He coughed loudly, clearing his airway, before attempting to not choke on his words again. “We were just coming in from the rain. Seems the beach isn’t the best place to be with a storm hits.” He smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

“Then how did you both end up on the floor?” Giles questioned, clearly frustrated at son’s lack of forthcoming-ness.

Buffy decided then was a good time to cut in because Spike wasn’t doing a very good job at covering up. She silently wondered how he ever got away with all those times he snuck out of the house to climb up to her window and see her. Either Giles, Jenny, and Angel were all very heavy sleepers or didn’t bother to ask him where he had been when he had finally returned to his own room. They probably just always assumed that he would be going to visit her.

“We were just surprised, is all.” She told them, smiling unsure. “You had called out to us just as we made it in the door, and being wet and all, well, we lost our balance and fell. Ergo, both of us ending up on the floor.”

Giles and Angel didn’t seem convinced, but they both dropped the topic anyway. Darla remained to look on with interest, and now slight amusement. She then adverted her green eyes toward Buffy, and smiled warmly.

“You must be Buffy. I’m Darla. It’s great to finally meet you.”

After excusing herself to run upstairs and change clothes, Buffy was glad to have a moment to herself. It gave her time to think, to put everything into perspective. The past few days she’d been coming on all depressed and stuck in the past, living a lie. All her old feelings for this town, and the people in it, especially Spike, had just came rushing back and it overwhelmed her. She wanted so much to have the time she lost here being in New York back, and in doing so she had unintentionally stopped living her life.

And she did have one, really. New York had taken a while to get used to, but she did eventually come around. High school there had been fun. Not quite as great as all those memorable times she’d had at Sunnydale High, but it was bearable nonetheless. She’d made friends quickly, and had managed to become quite popular in her class too, something she had never had a chance to experience in Sunnydale. Her two closest friends in New York, Winifred Burkle, and Kate Lockley, were really great, and Buffy had finally truly felt as if she had found her second home. Sunnydale would also be her first.

When college started in the fall of last year, Buffy was lucky enough to be roomies with Fred, who had decided to stay local with the petite blonde after high school. Kate had recently left for the police academy in upstate New York, and both Buffy and Fred were very saddened to see her go. Life went on however, and soon Nina had joined their close-knit group of friends. The three were almost always inseparable, and college seemed to become a lot like high school to Buffy.

Riley didn’t come into the picture for quite some time after that. Buffy had met him previously at the college bookstore when she had dropped a load of books on his head, and gave him a minor concussion. He had been sweet and charming, with a boyishly handsome smile. Smart, with a solid background, and a reliable personality, he was a right catch for any young woman looking for a serious relationship. Problem was, he was only interested in having a serious relationship with Buffy-something she just wasn’t quite so ready for yet.

A soft knock on the door drew Buffy from her deep thoughts.

“Come in.” She called out, looking down to quickly make sure she looked alright. Satisfied, she raised her eyes to find Spike standing silently in her doorway, in fresh clothes as well.

“You alright?” He asked, staring at her warmly.

“‘Course. Why wouldn’t I be?” She answered, walking to the dresser, and reaching for her brush, quickly running it through her tangled, matted hair, careful not to pinch her scalp.

Spike shrugged at her question, taking a few cautious steps into the room. “You’ve just been up here for a while, is all.” He told her, coming to stop in front of the bed.

“Just thinking.” She said, finally finished with detangling her hair. She turned around and met his questioning blue eyes.

“‘Bout what?”

“Didn’t we already play this game?” She laughed, shrugging her hair behind her shoulders.

Spike smiled. “Guess so, huh, pet? Last time seemed to start just about the same way, right?”

Buffy’s expression suddenly turned serious, and she crossed her arms defensively. “Yeah, but it wouldn’t do good to let it end like last time.”

“I don’t know, pet. I think last time ended quite nicely.” He smirked saucily, letting his tongue curl behind his teeth in a way that made Buffy’s insides flip.

“Spike…” Buffy breathed, running a hand through her hair, obviously stressing over the subject. “Look, we both know that it can’t happen again. It can’t.” Even though she hoped her voice didn’t waver as she said the words, she was sure it did.

“Buffy…” Spike sighed loudly, stepping toward her quickly, only to watch her back away from him cautiously. His expression swiftly changed from exasperation to annoyance. “Oi, Buffy, come on. Don’t do this.”

“That’s exactly what I’m trying to do. Not to do this.” She told him, standing firm, trying to convince herself as well as him.

“Look, we both know that it’s still there between us. The fire. It always has been. I know you feel it, Buffy.” He said huskily, taking a chance and stepping toward her again. He was happy to find that she didn’t move away from him this time.

“You know I do.” She replied softly, and Spike smiled at the sincerity in her eyes. “But it just can’t happen between us, Spike. We missed our chance.”

“Don’t say that.” Spike whispered, his eyes locked on hers.

“Why not? It’s the truth. Three years is a long time. A lot of things can change. A lot of things have changed, Spike. We’re not the same people anymore.” She told him, not wanting to be weak anymore. These past few days since she returned to Sunnydale, she’d been weak, pining away for Spike and the past, watching as Cordelia dangled him in front of her again and again, having her heart played with like a child’s toy. She wasn’t gonna let it continue this way.

“But we’re still in love…aren’t we?” Spike asked softly, titling his head to the side, studying the mix of emotions that played across her face. He saw confusion, anger, lust, love, and more confusion, and he suddenly wasn’t sure what he wanted her answer to be. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted her to answer at all. If she said yes, he would be the happiest man on earth, but then he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop after a few kisses. He’d want more. But if she said no, his world would be crushed. And he’d still want more. Either way, it would end badly because of one important reason Spike refused to acknowledge at the moment: Cordelia.

He had agreed to marry her wholeheartedly when he had asked her months before, and he honestly did want to marry her then. Resigning yourself to the fact that you can’t be with the woman you want most would do that to you. He loved Buffy, he really did, but he didn’t want to be alone for the rest of his life, and Cordelia was-what was the word?…convenient?

Spike cringed at the harshness of his thoughts.

Buffy seemed to really think about his question, and was silent for several minutes. She, in reality, didn’t know how to answer his question. Sure, she still loved him. She probably always would. But for the first time in her life, she was starting to doubt that he still loved her. Or at least was still in love with her. How could he be if he was engaged to Cordelia. If he had never came to be with her in New York after graduation as he promised he would?

She felt the sudden rise of anger in the pit of her stomach.

“Spike, I-” She began, her voice pleading, but had her thoughts cut short by Angel’s appearance in the doorway. “Angel.”

Spike’s head whipped around to find his older brother waiting patiently behind him. He shot him an annoyed look. What was with all the bloody interruptions today?

“Sorry. I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” He asked, concerned at the tension that filled the room. He silently wondered just what he had walked in on.

Spike looked back at Buffy, waiting still for her answer. She only gave him a pointed look, one that told him she was angry with him, responding to Angel while not taking her eyes off of Spike.

“No. We’re done.” Her voice was cold, and both men heard the anger that dripped off of it.

She quickly made her way past Angel and out the room.

“What was that all about?” Angel asked, walking fully into the room to talk to his brother.

Spike sighed loudly, running a hand through his hair. “She’s upset with me.”

Angel only looked more confused now. “Why?”

“Because of Cordelia.” Spike said, walking over to the window to pull back the curtain and look down below.

Angel nodded, understanding. “She has a right to be.”

This comment seemed to anger the bleached blonde and he swiftly turned around to face his brother, anger flashing into his icy blue eyes. “No, she doesn’t. She’s the one who was banging Captain America when she promised to wait for me! She knew I would come to her, wherever she was. She knew! But that wasn’t enough for ‘er, was it? No, she had to have a taste of the perfect college boy while I was goin’ out of my bleedin’ mind countin’ the days ‘til high school was o’er and I could hop the next flight to New York. She has no right to come back ‘ere now, and give me the bloody fifth degree because I decided I wanted to marry someone else. It’s not ‘ow it works.”

By the time he was finished, Spike was breathing heavily, nostrils flaring in absolute anger and frustration. His hands automatically went to his hair again, and some of the blonde curls came undone from the gel. Angel stood there, watching his younger brother, and couldn’t believe how stupid he was. He was obvious to anybody with eyes that Buffy was still head over heals for Spike, and that Spike returned the feelings wholeheartedly.

“Come on, Spike, man.” Angel tried to reason with him, leaning against the wall opposite the foot of the bed. “You can’t tell me she doesn’t have a right to be jealous?”

Spike looked up at him, confused. “Jealous? She’s not jealous. She’s selfish.”

“She’s not.” Angel disagreed.

“Yes, she bloody is!” Spike exclaimed, hands on his hips, pacing back and forth in front of him. “She doesn’t want me anymore, but she doesn’t want anyone else to, either.”

“Spike, she still wants you.” Angel reassured his brother, watching as he stopped pacing and turned to face him, a hopeful expression on his handsome face.

“Ya think?” Spike asked, then shook his head, and sat down on the end of the bed. “Oi, what am I thinking? I’m getting married in a week. It shouldn’t matter anymore.” He looked up at Angel, feeling helpless.

Angel nodded in understanding before grabbing the chair in the corner, and sitting down on it backwards. “It shouldn’t matter anymore…but it does, right?”

Spike was silent for a moment, before nodding slowing. “It really does.”

Angel half laughed, half smiled, and leaned forward slightly. “You both have meant so much to each other for so long. It’s only natural to have residual feelings, Spike.”

“But that’s just it, Angel. These feelings, there’re not residual. There’re completely new feelings. Like when she arrived on my doorstep, I fell in love with her all over again.” Spike explained, staring at the carpet thoughtfully. Angel remained silent as his brother continued. “It weird. Three years ago, I thought there was no possible way I could be more in love with ‘er. But now…”

When it was clear that he wasn’t gonna finish his thought, Angel cut in. “You do realize that she still have feelings for you, right?”

Spike looked up with him and their eyes locked. “I thought she did.”

“She does.” Angel reaffirmed.

“Yeah?” Spike asked, smiling bitterly. “How can ya tell? Is it the way she’s so bloody cold to me all the time? Or maybe it’s the way she can’t stand to be ’round me anymore. I bet that’s it.”

“It’s the way she looks at you.” Angel said, honestly. “It’s like you’re the only thing she can see.”

Spike smiled lovingly, his eyes unfocused, as he remembered the last time he saw her look that way at him. The night they made love.

“But then again,” Angel continued, “You’ve always been the only thing she can see.”

Spike tore his gaze from the carpet, back up to his brother’s face, his brows furrowed in uncertainty. “What d’ya mean?”

“Well, just that whether you choose to admit it or not, you were, and still are the most important thing in the world to her.” Angel informed him, waving his hands about in the air to get his point across. He laughed, amused by his thoughts. “I mean, in high school, nobody ever had a chance with her. You were all she ever thought about, talked about. Everyone knew it.”

Spike listened to his brother intently, not fully believing what he was being told. It just didn’t seem feasible to him. And if he were totally honest with himself, being that important to someone scared the shit out of him. Because then the only place to go would was down; because how long would it be until he wasn’t the most important person to her anymore?

“Then why did she choose Riley?” Spike asked, anger and annoyance in his voice.

“Why did you choose Cordelia?” Angel questioned, and Spike didn’t answer him.

Taking a seat on the top step of the back porch, Buffy sighed. Her eyes traveled around the expanse of the large, fenced-in backyard, as she bit her lip in thought. Lifting her arms to place her elbows on the tops of her thighs, she leant forward to rest her chin in her hands, balancing her weight on them.

It had finally stopped raining, but the dark storm clouds had yet to move from their spots above the normally sunny city. Buffy had always hated the rain, ever since she was a little girl, and these huge almost black puffs of clouds hanging over her head were just as bad, in her opinion. They hide the sun from view, and seemed to put a damper on an already bad day. They somehow seemed appropriate though. It was almost as if they were manifestations of the feelings churning around in the petite blonde’s mind.

She was so confused, probably more so now than in any other time in her life thus far. The feelings she had, the old feelings she thought she’d buried in the past, and the new ones that had been planted the day she returned, now seemed to all begin to mingle together and take root deep inside her. She wasn’t sure what was up or down, what was right or wrong, and she had no idea where to begin to start unraveling it all to see where she stood.

She felt at home in New York. The people, the places, and the speed of the whole place was great. She had friends, and school, and a mother and sister, and life was considerably good for Buffy there. She could be herself, and not have to worry about what people thought of her. She was wanted, and needed, and loved, and the blonde had definitely come to a realization that it was where she belonged.

But coming back home to Sunnydale…It was so wonderful. The sights, the sounds, and the atmosphere was just what she needed. It was warm, and comfortable, familiar. Everything here, the houses, the people, her friends…they all had a place inside her heart. They were hers. And now, Buffy felt like she was where she was supposed to be, where she belonged. It was almost as though the past three years spent in New York were just some extra long vacation that she had finally returned from.

But she felt the same thing in New York. When she was there she was one person, and when she was in Sunnydale, she felt like a completely different person. It bewildered Buffy, and had her questioning everything she had come to believe the last three years. How could you feel at home in two different places? And if you did, how were you supposed to choose between them? Is this what kids who split their time between both parents’ houses feel like?

The opening and closing of the back door jarred her from her thoughts, and Buffy looked up sharply, finding Darla looking back down at her with concerned eyes.

“You okay? You seem a little tense.” She wondered, slowly taking a seat on Buffy’s side, careful not to disturb the bulge in her abdomen.

Buffy smiled uneasily, shrugging her shoulders at the other blonde woman. “As fine as I can be.”

Darla’s brows shot up at that. “Considering?”

Buffy looked away for a moment, seemingly very interested in the pattern of the stitching of her tan kakis. She took a deep breath, then let it out quickly, before turning to face Darla again, smiling slightly. “Well…let’s just say that this has been one big emotionally draining trip back home.”

Darla chuckled at that. “Well, I guess we all go through them, don’t we?”

“I guess so.” Buffy agreed. “I was just kinda hoping that I would be able to avoid it, is all.” She smiled.

“Don’t we all.” The older blonde told her, smiling warmly. She then gasped as she felt a slight pressure against the inside of her stomach.

“What is it?” Buffy asked, worried. She went to stand up. “Should I go get Angel?”

“No! No, I’m fine.” Darla told her, reaching out to stop her from getting up. She smiled, her whole face lighting up brightly. “The baby just kicked, is all. Nothing to be worried about. It’s a good thing.”

Buffy visibly relaxed, and smiled back. “How far along are you?” She asked curiously.

“Seven months.” Darla told her, patting her stomach lovingly. “I can’t wait.”

“Boy?” Buffy wondered aloud.

“Yep.” The older blonde said, popping her ‘p’. “Angel and I have just decided on a name the other day, actually. We’re calling him Connor.”

Buffy smiled. “That’s a great name. Very strong. I bet he’s gonna be so handsome.”

Darla laughed softly. “He’ll look just like his father.”

“Think he’ll have his father’s charm?” Buffy giggled, sliding a stray piece of hair behind her ears as the wind blew faintly.

“Oh, yeah.” Darla chuckled, looking down where her hand still was rubbing circles on her stomach. “I think he already does.”

Both girls were quiet after that, mutually lost in thought. Darla finally broken the silence, looking up at Buffy curiously.

“Do you want children?”

The petite blonde’s head whipped up so fast Darla was sure she gave herself whiplash. “What? Whatdaya mean? Like now?” She asked, visibly panicking.

Darla laughed at her scared expression. “No, not now. I mean eventually. Do you want to have children someday?”

“Oh!” Buffy laughed, running a hand through her hair thoughtfully. “Well, yeah, ‘course I do. Eventually. When I’m ready. But you know, not now. Sometime down the road, though. Definitely.”

“How many?” Darla wondered.

Buffy shrugged, smiling goofily. “Dunno.”

Darla was shocked. “Really? Doesn’t every girl plan out their entire life in some perfect fairy tale kind of way?”

Buffy chuckled softly, hazel eyes dancing with amusement. “Well, I guess I did. Plan, I mean. And yeah, it probably was in some kind of perfect fairy tale way, but life doesn’t really work out like that. Things just no seem to work out the way I plan them.”

Darla tilted her head to the side, studying the younger blonde, and watched the disappointed look pass over her features. “And how’s that?” She inquired quietly.

“Well, for one, I thought I’d be doin’ a little better in the guy department.” Buffy explained, sitting up straighter.

Darla grinned friendly. “No boyfriend?”

“Not so much.” Buffy responded, looking back out at the yard.

“Well, just because you don’t have a boyfriend, doesn’t mean you can’t still think about it. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being prepared, right?” Darla suggested, adjusting herself to find a more comfortable position.

Buffy shrugged, indifferent. “I guess.” She almost cringed at Darla’s blinding smile. Something told her that this little conversation was about to get very embarrassing on her part.

“So, tell me, what would this perfect fairy tale life be like.” Darla posed, patting Buffy’s hand reassuringly.

Buffy just shrugged, not really wanting to share stories right now. “I don’t really know.”

But Darla wasn’t giving up so easily, and she pressed it further. “Well, who would the lucky guy be?”

Could there be a more loaded question? Buffy wondered silently. Why did she have to ask that question?

Buffy wondered silently. that
“W-well, I don’t know. I guess it would be the cute blonde vampire from that show ‘Sarah the Vampire Slayer’.” She grinned, satisfied with her answer.

Darla laughed, moving around again. Buffy was starting to wonder if she should ask her if she wanted to move into one of the cushioned chairs on the far left of the porch. “Well, everyone would say that, Buffy. I mean, someone real. Someone you could actually be with.”

Buffy inwardly sighed. Not gonna get outta this one, am I? “Honestly?” She looked at Darla with a look that suggested she either was, or was about to be in extreme pain.

“Honestly.” Darla confirmed, nodding her head in agreement.

“Spike.” Buffy said, with her head down. Her voice had been so soft that Darla wasn’t sure she had heard her at first. She nodded in understanding, already have been relayed the whole ‘Buffy and Spike story’ from Angel more than once.

When Buffy realized that Darla wasn’t going to respond, she slowly lifted her head, and looked up at the other blonde. “Aren’t you gonna tell me I’m crazy? To still want a practically married man?”

Darla shook her head gently, a small forming on her lips. “Absolutely not.” She said. “I’d never judge you about something like that. You can’t choose who you love, Buffy. Because, really, do you honestly think I would’ve chosen to fall in love with your brother?”

Both woman laughed at that, breaking the tension for a moment. And just like that, the damn broke, and everything Buffy had been hiding came spilling out. She told Darla all the silly little fantasies that she had come up with as a child, the more erotic ones she’d had in high school, and the ones she’d always dream about when she went to sleep at night; The ones that had always ended in ‘…and they lived happily ever after.’ She confessed that she had always dreamed of having three kids-one boy, and girl boys-and that she wanted to name the girl after Jenny, and one after Spike’s real mother Anne; the boy would be William Jr. She revealed that she really wanted to stay in Sunnydale to raise their family because New York was just to fast, and that she had Spike would get married in the Spring time in a smaller ceremony, not the big, extravagant service that Cordelia wanted.

And Darla listened. Boy, did she listen. Never once did she interrupt or laugh or tell Buffy she was completely insane. She just sat there, silent, listening to everything the petite blonde had to say, and then some. She didn’t intervene, didn’t judge her at all, and for that, Buffy was extremely thankful. And when she was done pouring her heart out, Buffy was silent as Darla smiled kindly.

“See, everyone is entitled to a little fantasizing every once and a while. All fairy tales have to come from somewhere.” Darla told her, glad that she could make a new friend, and be of help to her.

Buffy laughed sullenly, looking down at her feet. “There’s only one problem with that.”

“What’s that?” Darla posed, tilting her blonde head to study the other woman.

Buffy looked up, and met her eyes. “I don’t believe in fairy tales anymore.”

Chapter 26: Sexy Dances

Huffing loudly, Buffy used every ounce of strength that she possessed to pull the enormous mesh bag full of dirty laundry down the basement stairs. Careful not to miss one of the cold, hard steps, she moved slowly, moving down one step at a time, then pulling the bag behind her. She so didn’t want to end up falling down the stairs and breaking…something. She was the only one at home, and it wouldn’t be ‘of the good’ to get seriously hurt, without anyone around to help.

The four days since Angel and Darla’s arrival had gone by quickly for Buffy. Keeping busy the best she could, she had ended up cleaning Spike’s entire house. It helped to keep her mind off things. After befriending Darla, she had spent the next day with Willow, Tara, and Xander, catching up and hanging out, just like old times. They had driven around town, laughing and acting completely crazy as a result of the enormous amount of sugar ingested from various foods. Buffy had one of the best days of her life, and it was great to find out that she was still fully welcome amongst her small circle of friends.

Spike had kept busy too. Tons of planning and last minute details had to be taken care of, and he and Cordelia had gone off to visit her parents to confirm everything. He didn’t, however, leave without talking to Buffy first. After apologizing for everything, he had purposely danced around the topic of Cordelia and the wedding, and Buffy knew it. She did accept his apology, and he accepted hers as well. After that, things seemed a little awkward, and they pretty much avoided each other all together the next two days.

Tonight, he, Angel, Xander, Willow, and Tara had all gone to the Bronze to celebrate the proverbial ending of Spike’s sex life with a bachelor party. After much arguing, it was agreed that since Willow and Tara didn’t like men or Cordelia, they could accompany the boys instead. Buffy had laughed at the thought of the two of them being in a room full of grown, horny men, as some nameless stripper danced around in her bra and panties. She wished she could have seen it.

Tonight was also the night of Cordelia’s bacholerette party at her parent’s mansion. Anya, Cecily, Darla, Harmony, and a bunch of Cordelia’s prissy friends had all gone. But not Buffy. No, she had opted to stay home and do her and Dawn’s dirty laundry. It wasn’t that Cordy didn’t invite her, either. Anya, Darla, and even Cecily had all convinced the brunette woman to let Buffy come, but in the end, the petite blonde had went with the less painful choice.

Finally reaching the bottom of the staircase, Buffy turned and pulled the bag over to the open washing machine. After runing water, and adding detergent, she emptied the contents of the bag into the opening in the top, and closed the lid. She was thankful that Dawn had separated all of the clothing for her this morning. It really mad everything just so much easier. Reaching out to turn the knob to start the machine, Buffy paused, thinking. She shrugged, indifferently, then bent over, and removed her black dress pants and tossed them into the almost full load in the washer. Next, she unbuttoned her white shirt, and added that in too. Clad only in her black lacy bra and panty set, the small blonde re-closed the lid again, and started the machine, before walking over to the steps and starting back upstairs.

~*~*~*~

Humming softly, Buffy made her way up the stairs to go to her room and find a change of clothes. She slowly walked down quiet hallway, smiling softly. When she reached Spike’s room, she stopped, contemplating if she should go in our not, wondering what she would find is she did. After a moment, she decided to go in, and pressed her hand against the door, letting it swing open slowly.

Her hazel eyes looked around, searching for something of interest, and she stepped inside, walking around casually. The bed was the same one he’d had when he was in high school, but the sheets were different. Gone were the blues and whites that William had preferred. In their place was black silk, cool and inviting. Buffy smiled warmly at the thoughts they provoked in her mind.

Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, she reached over and opened the top drawer of his nightstand. Old letters, photos, and bills littered the bottom. Slipping a tiny hand in, Buffy pushed the contents around, not finding anything that peeked her interest. Then, she stopped, having found a small picture that made her gasp softly in her chest. Pulling it out, she revealed a black and white photograph of herself that had been taken just months before the big move. She had given it to him during one of their many study dates, and he had went on about how beautiful she had looked in it. Running a slender finger over the glossy finished, Buffy sighed, then put the picture back in it’s proper place, and shut the drawer softly.

Standing up, she walked over to his closet, sliding the wooden door on it’s hinges, revealing it’s contents to her wondering eyes. She was surprised to find it actually neat and organized, all the shirts on hangers to the right, all the pants to the left. The few pairs of shoes he owned were all lined up neatly on the floor, his new black leather ones-especially purchased for the wedding- were clear in the back, against the wall. Running her fingers over the shirts, her eyes landed on his black suit. Buffy grinned mischievously when an idea struck her.

She swiftly pulled the blazer off the hanger, and put it on, the rough fabric rubbing against the lace of her bra, and the smoothness of her skin. She hurriedly checked her appearance in the floor length mirror on the inside of the closet, and smiled in satisfaction.

Skipping down the hall, she went into her own room, and grabbed her pair of black pumps, the ones with the 2 inch heel, and slipped them onto her feet expertly. The she went over to the dresser, and searched around inside her travel bag for her eyeliner.

With a triumphant shout, she pulled it out and used the dresser mirror while applying it to the top and bottom of each eye. She put it on heavier than she normally would, creating a smoky look, one that screamed seductress. Stepping back, she surveyed her work, nodding, and then laughing excitedly.

The sound of the doorbell scared the shit out of her, and she almost fell when she lost her footing in the heels.

“Dammit!” She yelled, tossing the kohl stick down, and ran out into the hall, not bothering to change her clothes.

Opening the front door, she was surprised to find nobody there. “Uh, hello?” She called, unsure. Cautiously stepping out onto the porch, she pulled the black jacket tightly around her tiny form, shielding her from the cool night air. “Hello?” She tried again, and leant over the railing, straining to see if someone was nearby. After a moment of complete silence, Buffy shrugged and turned to go inside…

..and found the door had shut and was now locked. “Oh shit!”

~*~*~*~

Hastily walking down the street, Buffy cursed her luck, and the fact that Hank had decided to take Dawn out for ice cream and was not home. The dark streets of Sunnydale were no place to be out running around in your underwear with only a suit jacket to cover you. Her black heels clicked loudly on the hard cement, a sound that seemed to further Buffy’s embarrassment, and she sighed loudly.

“God must hate me.” She breathed, as she rounded the corner that lead to the alleyway outside the Bronze. She really hoped Spike had his keys on him, and wasn’t too smashed to help her out.

When she entered the Bronze the first she noticed was the total lack of females in the whole place. Music was blaring loudly from every large speaker, and the colored lights on the stage were swinging around, creating the appearance of either a rock concert or a strip club, as the crowd of men nursed various drinks in their hands.

Moving slowly into the familiar club, Buffy stood atop her tip toes, searching the crowd to find Spike. But after not finding any bleached blonde heads, she gave up, and started to head toward the bar, when a voice called out to her.

“Hey, you’re here. We were wondering if you had decided to stay away all night.” The black man said to her. Buffy realized that he must know her from somewhere, but she couldn’t, for the life of her, place him. He was tall and handsome, with a shaved head, and a bright smile. She was just about to ask him who he was, when he reached out and grabbed her hand, dragging her with him as he made his way through the very center of the crowd.

“Um, w-where are we going? Do you know where I can find Spike?” She asked him, letting herself be lead through the masses of overly intoxicated males.

The man grinned back at her, and nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, I do. He’s been expecting you.”

Buffy frowned, confused beyond belief now. “What? How did he know that I’d lock myself out of the house tonight?” She asked the man, but he must not have heard her, because he didn’t respond.

When they reached a clearing, the man stopped, and she crashed into his back. “Oh, wow, we’re stopping?” She asked, but the man still didn’t answer her, and she was quickly becoming annoyed. “What are we do-”

“Alright, people, let’s get this show in the road. Stripper’s here!” He yelled and the crowd went wild, screaming and whistling cat calls loudly.

Buffy’s eyes went huge, and she shook her head, beginning to back away. “What?! No!”

But the man caught her wrist and pulled her forward. “Aww, huney, don’t be shy. It’s not like you haven’t done this a million times.”

“No, you don’t understand. I’m not-” Buffy started, but was again cut off when the man called for the guy of the hour, and the crowd parted to reveal Spike sitting in a chair across from her, laughing at something someone had said to him. He hadn’t noticed she was there yet, and Buffy prayed she could find a way to escape before he did.

“Hey, Spike, man. We got a big present for you.” The man called. Buffy watched, helplessly, as she was lead closer to where Spike was sitting.

Then everything stopped. It was as if the whole thing was happening in slow motion. She stumbled forward, being caught by the man who still held her tiny wrist. Spike slowly looked up, taking a drink from his glass of bear, and almost choked when he saw her standing there in nothing but his suit jacket, and a pair of very sexy high heels that elongated her tan legs, and thighs. Her long blonde hair was pulled tightly back in a bun, letting him get a good view of her eyes, which were done up in dark eyeliner that made her look so enticing to his hungry eyes.

“B-Buffy?” He choked out, swallowing loudly, as he stared at her bewildered. “Wha-what are you doing here, pet?”

“W-well I, um…” She trailed off, not sure of what to say. Just then Xander and Angel came to stand beside Spike, ready to see the show, and looked up to find Buffy.

“Jesus, Buff!” Xander shouted, putting his hand over his heart. “What the heck are you doing here? And dressed like the lead from ‘The Apprentice?’ Not that I’ve ever seen it or anything…” He rambled, visibly affected from the way she looked. Thank God, An’s not here. He thought. She’d be ready to withhold sex for a year!

“Buffy?” Angel asked, clearly confused at her being there. He then let his dark eyes travel he length of her thin body, and gulped. “W-wow. You look, um…Well, you look really, uh, good.” He smiled goofily. Then winced when Spike punched him in the gut.

“Stop starin’ at ‘er.” Spike told him in a warning tone, his blue eyes narrowing at his brother. He then turned back to said girl, and stared at her completely amazed.

“Well, I just-” Buffy tried, but stopped to clear her suddenly dry throat. “I came to get the keys, ‘cause I kinda locked myself outta the house.”

The crowd groaned, wanting her to get to the stripping.

But when Spike didn’t respond right away, Buffy’s mind formed another bad idea. She grinned saucily at him, and laughed softly, enticingly. Why shouldn’t she have some fun? It was his bachelor party after all. This was her chance to get him back for messing with her emotions these past few days. This was her chance to show him just who held all the cards. Leaning over to whisper into the unknown man’s ear, she suggested a song she had heard on the radio once while in New York.

Spike was confused as he watched Buffy smiled saucily in his direction, then turned to whisper in his buddy, Charles Gunn’s ear. It wasn’t until the music started blaring from the sound system, that he finally understood what was happening. She was gonna dance for him.

He hardened in his jeans from just the thought of it. He sat there dumbstruck, and eyes wide like an idiot.

Buffy smiled seductively at him, and watched his jaw clench. This would do.

~I got a letter just the other day
She sent a picture, but she didn't sign her name ~

She swung her hips as she walked toward his chair, coming to stop just in front of him. The whole club faded out, and it was only her and Spike.

Spending her legs shoulder length apart, she swung her hips harshly to the beat of the music, rolling her head back and forth in a circle, loosening the bun that held her hair back.


~She wore high heels and a little black lace
I knew her body, but I couldn't see her face~

Looking back at him with hooded eyes, she crooked her finger at him, licking her lips slowly and then pulling the bottom one in between her teeth to bite down on it gently.

Spike almost fainted at the sight of his Buffy dancing so seductively for him, only him. The rest of the club didn’t matter anymore, not when she was looking at him like that.

Spreading her legs wider, she bowed over, running her hands up and down her thigh, then turned her back to him, and bent over fully, giving him the most incredible view of her black lace thong as the bottom of the jacket rode up on her sides. Rolling her back, she slowly stood up straight again, and turned back to face him.

~She didn't leave a number, not an address or a clue
But something in that photograph reminded me of you ~

As the song reached the chorus, she slowly started to let the front of the blazer fall apart, revealing her bra and the front of her panties, as she gyrated her body to the beat.

~Baby, let's put the X in sex
Love's like a muscle and you make me wanna flex
Baby, let's put the X in sex
Keep it undercover, baby let me be your private eye ~

Stopping suddenly, she let her arms fall to her sides, the jacket falling to pool at her feet. The black lacy bra held ample breasts for a girl of her size, and left nothing to the imagination. The panties were just as skimpy and slightly see-through. Spike leant forward in an attempt to get a better look.

Running her hands over her body, breasts and stomach, she swung her head to the side, pushing her chest out and exposing her cleavage to Spike’s lustful gaze. Reaching up, she pulled at the bun, letting her long blonde hair cascade down her body, flying every which way as she continued dancing.

~I got a call in the middle of the night
Heavy breathin' never sounded quite so nice
She said "Oh yeah, I wish that I was there" ~

Turning her back to him once more, she bent at the waist to put her hands on the floor between her legs, spreading her wider to his pleasure. He had the most amazing view of her ass now.

~I asked who was calling, but she wasn't playing fair
Sometimes you gotta suffer for the pleasure that you seek~

Lowering herself to the floor slowly, she rolled over to lay on her back, then sat up quickly, placing her hands flat on the floor in front of her so she was on all fours. Looking up, she met his eyes, which had darkened to a hazy shade of midnight blue. She smiled provocatively, then started crawling toward him slowly.

~You're beggin' for an eyeful but you only get a peek ~

She ran her hands up his legs, and jean clad thighs, rolling her body again, so that every part of her body touched him as she got closer and closer. She slowly stood up again, in between Spike’s spread legs, and leant forward to climb into his lap, a leg on either side of him.

~Baby, let's put the X in sex
Love's like a muscle and you make me wanna flex ~

She leant back then, and Spike brought his arms up quickly, grasping her around the middle to make sure she didn’t fall backwards. And then she started to grind against him, and Spike thought he would cum in his pants.

~Baby, let's put the X in sex
Keep it undercover, baby let me be your private eye ~

Spike could feel her heat and wetness brush against his jean clad cock and god was she wet. She was just as far gone as he was and it gave him an incredible feeling of power to know that she was so affected by him. He thrust his hips up at her to gain more contact, and she moaned, a full throaty moan, and he grunted in return.

~I heard somebody knockin' so I opened up the door
She wore a hat, shades, and a trench coat
Wasn't wearin' that much more~

She rode him, grinding her center against the roughness of his jeans, and the hardness of his cock. Wrapping her arms around his neck for leverage, she let her head roll to the side, then up straight again to watch his face twist in pleasure then in pain at not being able to be inside of her.

~She said she knew my secrets but I didn't have a clue
Then I saw those black lace panties and I knew that it was you~

She waited until her looked up at her, and then laughed, leaning forward to rest her forehead against his, never breaking eyes contact. They were both panting heavily, and their breaths mingled together as they unceasingly kept moving.

~Baby, let's put the X in sex
Love's like a muscle and you make me wanna flex
Baby, let's put the X in sex
Keep it undercover, baby let me be your private eye ~

“Buffy…” Spike breathed, so caught up in the moment he couldn’t think straight. The only thought he could process at that instant was ‘Want Buffy now!’

Buffy sat up straighter again, slowing her movements, but not completely. She let her arms go limp and fall from where they had been hooked around his neck, to her sides.

~Let's put the X in sex
Love's like a muscle and you make me wanna flex
Baby, let's put the X in sex
Keep it undercover, baby let me be your private eye ~

When the song ended, so did the trance that had captivated both blondes. Both stilled their movements, and looked at each other in shock.

Buffy was the first to look away, finally remembering that they were, in fact, in a room filled with other men, and that everyone of them had just been witness to what she had just done. Slowly letting her eyes travel around the room, Buffy, swallowed nervously.

Spike watched as she came to a realization of what she had just done, and knew she would run. He unconsciously tightened his grip on her waist, not wanting her to go yet. When she finally turned back to look him in the eye, he could see the extreme embarrassment that passed over her beautiful face. Then she quickly pushed at his arms, jumped up, and fled the room.

Spike sat there, dazed, for a moment, before standing up and quickly following her.

~*~*~*~

He found her in one of the hidden rooms in the back of the Bronze, pacing frantically. When he stepped into the room, and shut the door behind him, she looked up, angry. “You bastard!”

“Me?” Spike asked, furrowing his brow. “What the hell did I do?”

“This is all your fault!” She told him, pointing an accusing finger at him. She stomped over to him, furious. “You did this! That’s right, you! You knew all along that I would be the one would came out of all this feeling like this. You knew!”

“Buffy, what the bloody ‘ell are you going on about?!” He yelled back, now angry too. “You were the one who started it. You could have told them that you weren’t the real stripper. Xander was there; So was Angel. We all knew it wasn’t you. If you didn’t want to do that, then why didn’t you just tell them that?”

“Well, I couldn’t.” Buffy reasoned, putting her hands on her hips, which gave him an excellent view of her chest since she still hadn’t bothered to put something on yet.

“And why’s that?” He shot back.

“Because.” She said, like that was supposed to be the end of it. But Spike wasn’t letting her off the hock that easily.

“Because…” He posed, crossing his arms in front of his chest, waiting, annoyed.

“Because I-” She looked down. “Because I wanted to do it.”

Her answer was so soft that Spike wasn’t quite sure he had heard her at first. His face softened, and he knew then that he had to have her now.

Reaching out quickly, he grabbed her and hurled her towards him, molding her body to his, and crashing his lips down to hers.

It took Buffy a moment to recover, but when she did she responded in kind, kissing him furiously. A moan rose from her throat.

His hands were everywhere, cupping her bottom, letting his fingers entangle with the thin straps of lace on the sides of her hips, pressing her against that part of him that throbbed between them.

She arched her neck, moaning in pleasure, and Spike dove in with kisses, licks, and nips on her neck and shoulders. Turning them around suddenly, he pushed Buffy up against the door and attacked her mouth again. She was a little taken aback at first, but she didn't miss a beat. She wrapped her arms around his neck as Spike picked her up, his hands holding onto her ass, pressing her against the hard wood door. Her legs wrapped around him tightly, and he ground herself down onto him, smiling a proud smile when he moaned.

“Mmm.” She moaned back into the kiss, giving Spike a chance to deepen the kiss even more. Their tongues battled against each other furiously, fiercely.

“Buffy..” Spike breathed against her silky skin. “I need you so much, baby.”

“I need you too, Spike.” She moaned, sliding her hands up and down his chest, undoing all the buttons on his white dress shirt. She pushed at the fabric, letting it slide down his arms, and fall to the floor. Leaning forward, she started to trail kisses from his neck down to his collarbone, then to his chest, swirling her tongue around his flat nipples.

“Mmm, Buffy, pet. That feels so fucking good.” He reached behind her, fingers searching for the clasp on the back of her bra, making quick work of it, before discarding it on the floor. He immediately latched on to a nipple and began to suck, delighted when he got a harsh cry out of her.

"Need you," she suddenly whimpered. Their mouths were still connected, tongues attacking with a fierce urgency. "Need you now."

He groaned when he felt her hand start to rub him through his jeans. "God, Buffy..."

Locking her gaze with his, she slipped her hand between them to unzip his pants and when she finally touched him, he growled against her breast, sending delicious shivers through her whole body. She pumped him slowly, tracing every vein of him, and loving it. She used her legs to kick his jeans the rest of the way down.

His cock pressed against her dripping entrance, and she whimpered in need, as she rubbed herself against him, seeking more fiction. He moved her thong to the side, not bothering with getting it completely off her body. “Please..”

He positioned himself at her entrance, and she sunk down onto him, impaling herself on his cock. His eyes closed for a moment, just relishing in the feeling of being inside her once again. It had been so long, and it felt so good. He didn’t know how he had lasted this long without her.

Buffy sighed, her eyes fluttering closed as he slipped inside of her, rocking against him slowly. Considering this was only their second time together, she was still tight for him, and her inner walls stretched to accommodate his girth. He slowly began to move within her, building up speed quickly. There would be other times for going slow; Tonight they were both too far gone to go slow now.

“You’re so hot,” he breathed, and when he saw her eyes widen and her mouth open he captured her cry with his mouth.

The pace he set was much like it was during their first time together, slowly at first, and then more hurried as they both needed more. Buffy mewled, throwing her head back, as he pumped in and out of her.

"Spike, yes! Don't stop," she pleaded, tightening her hold on him, riding him harder. “Harder, Spike. Please…”

“Please what, Buffy?” He breathed, thrusting into her quickly. “Tell me, pet. Tell me what you want.”

Buffy had a hard time forming a coherent thought, let alone a sentence, but she tried anyway. “I-I want…I want you to fuck me, Spike.”

Spike growled at hearing her use such language for the first time, his jaw clenching, and began thrusting into her with wild abandon. "Oh Buffy! Uhhh. Love being inside of you!"

He thrusted into her pussy over and over again, feeling his cock hit her cervix when he was fully inside. It was indescribable, and made his whole body fill with warmth. When he was inside of her, they fit perfectly.

“Cum for me, Buffy.” He pleaded with her, looking at her to find her eyes closed. “Open your eyes, so I can watch you cum, pet.”

She obeyed, and slowly opened them, locking eyes with him. “I…oh, God, Spike. I’m gonna-”

“Let it go, pet. Cum for me.” He told her, reaching down between them to rub her clit.

Suddenly her eyes went wide, and she screamed loudly. “Oh, God…YES!”

Feeling her walls clench around him, Spike speed up his thrusts, pounding into her again and again, his stroked becoming faster, harder yet. It wasn’t long before he felt his own orgasm take over his entire body, and he buried his face in the side of her neck. “BUFFY!”

Chapter 27: New York, New York

New York, 2 ½ years ago:

The hardwood door swung open suddenly, startling Spike, and knocking him out of his nervous thoughts. He had been so lost in his thoughts of Sunnydale, Buffy, and of their last night together, that he never noticed the strange looks he was receiving from several students as they pasted him slowly. He bowed his head almost shyly, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck gently, embarrassed, as he realized that they had probably also overheard him talking to himself. What a great way to make a first impression on your girlfriend’s potential friends.

Raising his eyes slowly, expecting to see his beautiful golden goddess, Spike was surprised to find instead, a lengthy brunette woman, with deep chocolate brown eyes hidden behind black framed glasses. She wasn’t that tall, about his height, and had a warm, friendly smile that set Spike’s restless mind somewhat at ease.

He had debated coming to New York for months now, before he actually gained the courage to bring himself to buy the plane ticket and find his girl. He was sure when his father found out that he’d dipped into his college fund to pay for the trip, the older man would be extremely livid, but right now Spike couldn’t care less. What was the use of going to college if he it didn’t make him happy? And the one thing that could make him happy was in New York.

His Buffy.

The only problem was, Spike still wasn’t sure that he had made the right decision in coming here. Maybe after all this time, Buffy had moved on with her life? What if she had realized that being here, away from him, was the best thing for her? Could he make her remember how very much in love they were? And if not, could he make himself get over her?

His heart was thumping loudly in his chest, and Spike was absolutely sure it would burst forth any moment. Maybe it wasn’t too late to just turn around and hop the next flight back to Sunnydale. Sure, the young woman now staring at him expectantly would be deeply confused, but she’d get over it, figure he was just another drunk co-ed trying to find his own dorm room.

Spike sighed. God, how he wished the floor would open up and swallow him now. He had a life back in Sunnydale. He could go back just the same, and no one would think any less of him for making the trip here, for trying. He could go back to his everyday routine, hanging out with the gang, helping his dad around the house, starting college in the fall…

Yeah, he could go back. But not before he was sure. He had to know. And if she didn’t love him anymore, if she wouldn’t receive him the way he hoped she would, then he would go. Go back to his life in Sunnydale, get a job to help replace the cash for school, maybe find himself someone else-at least to help drown the pain. But at least then he could be sure.

Focusing his attention back on the skinny brunette in front of him, he waited for her to speak.

“Oh, uh…hi. You’re not who I was expecting.” She frowned, confused. “Obviously. But you’re here, so I’m guessin’ I must know you from somewhere. Though for the life of me, I can’t say where.”

Spike almost laughed out loud at the young woman’s babbling, but then thought better of it. It wouldn’t do good to immediately get on the bad side of Buffy’s roommate, and friend. He at once recognized a slight southern drawl in the dark-haired girl’s voice. Probably from somewhere near Texas, he wagered.

“Actually, no, pet. You don’t know me.” Spike smiled, amused by this girl’s rambling. It was almost as cute as his Buffy’s. “I’m lookin’ for Buffy Summers. Was told this was ‘er room, yeah?”

The girl smiled and nodded, the confusion finally leaving her pretty face. “Oh, yepers. You’re at the right door. I’m Fred, by the way- Buffy’s roommate.”

“‘T’s nice to meet you.” Spike said, offering her his hand. She accepted it with a another friendly smile, and shook it softly. “I’m Spike.” The blonde man watched as Fred’s large brown eyes widened even bigger and a look of over excitement swept across her face.

“Oh. OH!” She said. “You’re Spike, Spike? As in Sunnydale Spike?”

He nodded.

“Oh, well, that was prob’ly a stupid question. ‘Course you’re the Spike. How many Spikes can their be in the world?” She wonder aloud, now looking slightly flustered.

“Not many, I s’pose.” Spike answered her, chuckling softly. “So you’ve ‘eard of me, then?” He questioned hopefully.

“You betcha.” Fred nodded enthusiastically. “Buffy just goes on and on about y’all back in Sunnydale.”

Spike let a huge grin spread across his handsome face. “She does, now does she? Well, it’s nice to know she hasn’t forgotten about me yet.”

Fred chuckled lightly. “Heck, no. She loves y’all back home.”

“Listen, is Buffy here by chance? There’s something I really need to talk to ‘er about.” He asked, standing up straighter in an attempt to see over Fred’s shoulder into the small dorm room. Not seeing the blonde in question, he frowned, but then smiled again when he saw the cute little stuffed pigs on her bed.

“Oh, no. She’s kinda not here right now. Big party down at Lowell House. I was supposed to meet her there after my study session. We were the only high schoolers invited.” She said excitedly.

Spike frowned again when he remembered that this was a college dormitory, and
Buffy was only a senior in high school. “So, she stays here on campus then? She’s still in high school.”

“Oh, it’s a special program for gifted students to get a head start on college course work.” Fred informed him, as she bounced nervously on the balls of her feet.

“Gifted?”

“Oh, you didn’t know?” She asked, surprised, and Spike frowned when he realized how much of Buffy’s new life he did not know about anymore. “She has one of the highest GPA’s in our class. Second only to me.” She smiled proudly.

Spike smiled too. His girl was a smart cookie. He always knew she had it in her. Sure, she had maintained at least a B average back in SunnyD, but this was just excellent. She could get into any college in the country that she wanted too. Maybe even a few out of the country. He felt an overwhelming sense of pride wash over him and he knew he had made the right choice in coming here.

“I could take you to the party, if you’d like?” She offered, stepping out of the door completely and closing it behind her. “It’s really not that far from here. I’m sure she’ll be very happy to see you.”

“I hope so.”

~*~*~*~

By the time the two reached Lowell House, the party was in full swing. Hoards of drunk co-eds were gathered into the rather large dormitory. Some were dancing, while others sat in corners making out or doing more shots. Spike noticed a few a small group of people sitting around in a circle playing spin-the-bottle by the old fire place. He laughed at these people. Who the bleedin’ hell plays spin-the-bottle after you’re sixteen?

“This way.” Fred instructed, pointing to a group of people near the opposite side of the room. Spike followed closely behind as she lead him over to a tall, football type with dark hair. He as kinda bulky and reminded Spike of Angel. The blonde man inwardly laughed at this.

“Hey guys.” Fred smiled politely, waving shyly at them. “You wouldn’t happen to know where Buffy’s run off to, would ya?”

The Angel look-a-like, chuckled loudly, obviously slightly tipsy. “Oh, she’s around. Just saw her out there dancin’ with Rochelle and Candy. Riley’s been sniffin’ around her all night though. That guy is such a loser.” The other guys all laughed at that, evidently in on some exclusive secret that Spike had no idea about.

“Riley?” He wondered aloud, brows furrowing in confusion.

‘Angel’ looked up at him, finally noticing that he was there, and frowned. “Who’s your friend, Fred?”

Fred smiled nervously. “Oh, he’s-”

“An old friend from back home in uh…uh…Whatcha-ma-call-it, Texas.” Spike cut in, lying lamely. He reached up to scratch at the back of his neck, noticing the look Fred shot him. One that looked like it screamed ‘you idiot!’

‘Angel’ laughed, raising his beer in the air, and nodding at Spike approvingly. “Oh, cool man. I think my cousin’s best friend’s ex-girlfriend’s from there.”

Spike raised an eyebrow in Fred’s direction, clearly amused at this guy’s-either stupidity or drunkenness, and chuckled. “Yeah, ‘t’s a great place.”

‘Angel’ nodded, smiling. “Oh, definitely. Though, I seem to remember it being full of Amish people.”

Spike had to fight to keep the laughter from bubbling over from his chest. The drunk Angel look-a-like continued to make an ass out of himself.

“Hey, you’re not Amish, are you?” He asked Spike, who shook his blonde head. “‘Cause my sister’s boyfriend ran into this Amish person one time, and he was all ‘Hey, I’m Amish, I get to ride in a buggy and pick corn’, and my sister’s boyfriend was all ‘Yeah, well I get to drive a car and like have sex and stuff’. Man, it was crazy!”

“Sure sounds like it.” Spike forced the words off, holding off a laugh. Fred elbowed him in his arm to get his attention and he turned to look at her. She raised a perfectly shaped brow at him expectantly. “Oh…right.” He agreed, turning back to the drunk guys in front of him. “Who’s Riley?”

“Oh, he’s a sophomore here at NYU. T.A. and all around corn fed boy from Utah or Oregon or something.” ‘Angel’ said, waving his hands about, almost spilling his beer on Spike.

“You mean Iowa, Parker?” Fred interjected, cracking an amused smile. So ‘Angel’ had a named, ey? Parker was a pretty poncy name if you ask me…

“Yeah, that’s it!” Parker exclaimed, pointing at her enthusiastically. “You know, you’re so smart, Fred. You’re awesome!”

“Thanks, Parker.” She shrugged.

“Look at her, guys. She’s just full of awesome-ness!” Parker went on.

“That’s enough, Parker.” She told him sternly.

“Oh, right. That’s cool.” He replied, focusing back on Spike. “Anyway, he’s from Iowa, and every professor’s wet dream. Wants to be a teacher or some stupid shit like that.”

“Right, cause that’s just ridiculous, mate. Why the hell would anybody wanna be something poncy like a teacher when there's jobs like professional football, right?” Spike said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Exactly!” Parker again raised his glass in salute, too drunk to realize that the other man was having fun at his expense. “So Riley here, and going to class and stuff, and he meets our Buffy.”

“Our Buffy?” Spike asked, jealously running hot through his veins. Fred smiled at his words. He was just the cutest thing-all jealous and stuff.

But Parker ignored him, and continued. “Well, to put a long story short, Riley now fancies himself in love with Buffy. Follows her around where ever the hell she goes, always trying to get her to talk to him, or go out with him, or study with him. He’s such a loser. He’s never gonna get any. That girl’s like got a pad lock on her knees or something. Somebody should really buy him a hooker.”

Spike almost flipped when he heard the way Parker talked about Buffy’s innocence. For crying out loud, she’d only ever had sex once…he hoped. Oh, God, what if she’s had it more than once? Would she sleep with somebody so soon? Spike worried silently, inwardly cursing his wondering brain. No, his Buffy wouldn’t do that. No yet. Not so soon after they’d…

“Hey, maybe Riley’s Amish!” Parker exclaimed, as though he had just discovered a new fact.

Spike turned to Fred, obviously very upset now.

“You okay?” She asked, worriedly.

“I’m fine.” He said, running a shaky hand through his slicked back hair, loosening the curls and tousling his hair style. “Can we just find Buffy and get the hell outta here, pet? I’m beginning to feel nauseas.”

“Sure.” She nodded, concerned. “Parker? You sure you haven’t seen Buffy around?”

Parker stood up straighter and looked over their heads. “Oh, there!”

Both Fred and Spike spun around simultaneously, eyes searching for a little blonde with bright green eyes. Spike was the first to spot her.

“Who the bleedin’ hell’s that lunk-head all over her?” He questioned, hands balling into fists, at the image before him. There was his beautiful golden goddess, dancing wildly in the arms of another man.

Fred’s eyes locked onto the man holding Buffy close, widening slightly, and a nervous look swept across her face as she looked up at Spike.

“That’s Riley.”

Chapter 28: Kept Promises

New York, 2 ½ years ago:

The music definitely sucked beyond the telling of it. The beat was way too fast and the techno stylistics thumping in the background were really starting to make her nauseas. Or maybe that was the vodka.

Buffy had never experienced the refreshing and actually quite intense affects of vodka before tonight. Even back in Sunnydale, she and the gang never had the pleasure of sneaking anything, save wine, from Anya’s mother’s alcohol cabinet. None of the them had ever been subjected to the liquid hot burning sensation that now coursed through the petite blonde’s veins as she tried to move her body to the obscure beat of the music in the over sized arms of one Riley Finn.

Who truly had a hard time excepting that she really wasn’t interested in the least.

Sure he was a genuinely nice guy and had a knack for surprising her again and again with his little impromptu visits. Just the other day she had blown him off after class when she was supposed to stay and meet with him to discuss her latest test score-the highest in the summer high school class-and he had shown up at the dorm room she shared with Fred, asking if she wanted to go catch up.

She had absolutely no idea how to tell him that she just wasn’t ready to be close to another guy. She’d only been in New York for just six short months and hadn’t even completely settled into her life here yet. The only two friends she had yet made were Fred and Kate…and now, she guessed Riley too. But, she reasoned, he probably didn’t count since he was pulling all the stops to get her to go out with him.

Buffy inwardly sighed. In all retrospect, she should probably give Riley a chance. He was a great guy, who seemed really interested in everything she had to offer. He was cute, kinda farm-boyish and wholesome, not at all like the bad boys she had come to desire in the last two years or so, but good-looking nonetheless. He had a certain charm about him that made her smile.

But still she felt nothing.

Spike was certainly a tough act to follow in her eyes, and she wondered if anyone would ever live up to the standard he’d unintentionally set. The letters and phone calls had just started dying down last month, and two weeks ago, they’d stopped completely. Nor that Buffy had tried very much to stop the inevitable. Her mother had tried to explain the difficulty of a long-distance relationship time and again, but Buffy had recently came up with the conclusion that she and Spike were just growing apart. He was in Sunnydale, and she…wasn’t.

But that didn’t stop Buffy from holding on to the hope that Spike would keep his promise and come to her when he’d finish his schooling in Sunnydale. She wagered he’d be graduated by now, wondering if he’d remember the promise he’d made to her or choosing to ignore it now that they’d both had some time apart. She really hoped it was the first one and not the latter.

Either way, she’d wait.

At least for a little longer. If, given time, Spike didn’t show like he’d sworn he would, then she’d give Riley the chance he deserved.

~*~*~*~

“They’re just dancing.” Fred pointed out, trying to sound hopeful.

“You kidding me? The ponce is all over her.” Spike said, pointing angrily at the dancing couple a few feet away. “And she’s letting him.”

“But it could be worse.” The dark-haired senior said. “At least their not kissing.”

Spike glared at her petite form. “Really not making it better here, Fred.”

“Sorry. I just don’t see how this is a big problem.” She shrugged.

“My girlfriend’s grinding up against some other bloke while at a drunken frat party. Nope, no big deal there!” The blonde teen yelled over the loud music.

“Hey, don’t yell at me!” Fred yelled back, her Texas accent becoming thicker in her anger. “I’m just sayin’. She doesn’t know you’re here. I bet if you went over there right now, she’d forget all about Riley and jump right into your arms.”

“Yeah, how do you figure?” Spike asked, adverting his pain filled blue eyes from the ugly scene before him to look down at the girl next to him.

“Well, she never went out with any of the guys who asked her out before, including Riley. And that guy does not give up. He’s been trying since she got here and still no further to getting that date he desperately wants. She doesn’t see him or any other guy here.” Fred told him seriously, passion in her voice, letting Spike know that she believed her words one hundred percent true. “She told me that she wasn’t ready to be with anyone yet. That she was still waiting for something back home.” Fred paused, smiling. “I just always assumed it was you- the way she goes on about you and all.”

Spike smiled tightly, not fully believing the words the young girl spoke, but trying nonetheless. The smile was pained however, and it never really reached his eyes, Fred noticed sadly. She watched as he turned his attention back on the couple, and immediately the smile left his face.

Fred turned in time to watch Buffy being lead up stairs by an overly enthusiastic Riley.

“Yeah, well, doesn’t look like she’s waiting anymore.”

~*~*~*~

The door shut behind the couple as they almost fell through the door of the empty dorm room. Buffy’s world was spinning out of control and she felt as though she might throw up any moment now. How they’d ended up here she wasn’t completely certain, but after Riley had suggested they sit the next dance out, somehow she’d agreed to come up here to be alone with him. She knew that the tall college sophomore hadn’t had more than two or three sips of his drink and was not at all drunk yet. If this was yet another one of his ploys to get her to agree to go out with him, she was gonna puke all over his new pants.

“Buffy, why don’t you have a seat. You’re a little tipsy.”

Reallllyy? Buffy thought. Thanks dofus. I never would have guessed I am almost completely smashed if you hadn’t be so observant as to point it out for me! I almost tripped on my own feet, for crying out loud!

“Yeah, I guess I better.” She replied and sat down next to him on the neatly made bed. The world slowly started to stop spinning for her.

“You know, I’m so glad I had the chance to get you alone.” Riley went on, smiling like an idiot. “There’s been something I’ve been meaning to do for quite some time now.”

Buffy nodded. “Me too.”

“Okay. I think I’ll go first if you don’t mind.” Riley said, reaching for her hand, which was easily overpowered by his much larger one.

Buffy went rigid when she felt his hand caress her own. Quickly, she tried to gently pull her hand back as discreetly as possible. When he didn’t immediately let go, she yanked harder, and tore it back forcefully.

Riley frowned, looking very much like he dog just died. “Buffy…”

“I think I better go first, Riley.” Buffy told him, looking down at her lap in shame. She was sobering up awfully fast, and found that she didn’t quite like the feeling. Breathing deeply, she looked back up to Riley’s hurt face. “You seem like a really nice guy. Really, you do. But I’m just not looking for anything more than friendship right now. I’m not ready to be in a relationship yet. There’s just…I’m just-not ready.”


Riley nodded solemnly. Looking away momentarily to gather his nerve, before letting his eyes lock on the girl of his dreams. The tears pricked the back of his eyes as he opened his mouth to speak. “There’s someone else, isn’t there?”

Buffy opened her mouth to deny it, before closing it again. “I’m sorry.” She told him sincerely. “There’s this person back home, in Sunnydale, who’s just-Well, he’s my…everything. I know I’m young and that the long-distance thing rarely ever works, but I gotta try. I gotta hold on. Just for a while. Just to be sure. Because if there’s any chance that it’ll work out, that I’ll get my happy ending, I have to wait.” She now had tears in her eyes too, and a bittersweet smile caressed her lips.

Riley nodded, laughing bitterly, his dark eyes unfocused. “ He’s a real lucky guy. I can see how much you love him.”

“How?”

“‘Cause you get the same look in your eyes when you think about him as I do when I think about you.” He whispered into the darkness, looking down to avoid letting her see his tears.

Buffy smiled, and reached for his hand.

“You’re a good guy, Riley Finn.” She told him fiercely. “And I promise, if this doesn’t work out, I’ll won’t hold on forever. I promise I’ll give you a chance.”

He returned her watery smile. “I’ll wait forever.”

~*~*~*~

“Spike, come on, stop!” Fred yelled, running to keep up to the fleeing bleached man. After seeing Buffy go on up stairs to be alone with Riley, Spike had lost the rest of his nerve, alone with his temper, and stomped out the door and down the campus streets, leaving Fred to following behind.

“I need to get as far away from here as possible, pet. Can’t stop ‘til ‘m on a plane back home.” Spike called back, trying desperately to mask his pain with the anger he also felt. ‘She’d said she’d wait. She’d promised she would wait. What a bloody fool I’ve been…’ He let his hand finger the velvet box that bounced around in his duster pocket as he walked.

His mother’s engagement ring.

He had planned to propose tonight. Had worked up the courage to hop plane to New York to find the girl he loved and ask her to marry him. God, was he an idiot. Why would he really believe that she would still be holding out for him? Was in God’s name had possessed him to come here expecting to find some love struck girl from Sunnydale who promised to wait on the man that she claimed she loved? That girl didn’t exist anymore. In her place stood a beautiful, self confident young woman who wasn’t letting an old high school crush hold her back from shagging the first college lunk-head who showed an interest.

“Maybe it wasn’t what it looked like.” He heard Fred shout out to him, a hopeful note in her voice.

“They were holding hands as they made their way up stairs together, Fred” He hollered back, not bothering to slow down so she could catch up. “It’s pretty damn obvious what it was.”

“B-but maybe they just wanted to talk.” She tried to reason.

Spike stopped abruptly at this, whirling around to face her with an incredulous look on his handsome, but angry face. “Yeah, I bet they went up stairs to an empty bedroom together to talk about the weather.”

“Spike!” Fred breathed, upset that her newfound friend was upset. “Buffy-”

“Doesn’t found out about this, alright?” He interjected, giving her a threatening look. “She never finds out I came here tonight, got it?”

“What?!” Fred asked incredulously. “I can't do that. Buffy’s my friend. I can’t lie to her.”

“Not lie.” Spike reasoned, running a shaky hand through his bleached locks. “Just omit certain information. If she doesn’t ask, don’t tell.”

“And if she asks?”

“Then lie.”

“Spike!” Fred exclaims, exasperated. “I’m serious!”

“So am I.” Spike countered, looking her dead in the eyes. “I don’t want ‘er to know, Fred. This night has already become the worst bloody day of my life, why add more shit to it?”

“I can’t lie. I’d feel too guilty.” Fred said, trying to make him understand.

“You’ll get over it.” Obviously he wasn’t going to…

“B-but, I’m not that good at keeping secrets, ya know. I mean, I ruined every one of my cousin’s surprise parties. What if I slip?”

“I have confidence in you, pet. I’m positive you won’t” Spike told her offhandedly.

Fred tried again. “But-”

Spike interrupted her once more though.

“No, Fred. No buts. Just promise me you won’t say a bleedin’ syllable to ‘er. For my dignity’s sake.”

She looks at him with wide, innocent eyes. “I promise.”

Chapter 29: The Harsh Light of Day

Sunlight streamed down upon her through the uncovered windows of each wall, lighting up her pretty face as she slept peacefully. The thin cot held her weight nicely, and her nude form was wrapped up in blankets that covered all important parts, while left others free to soak up the sun’s rays keenly. Her long blonde hair was swept wildly about the old pillows lining crown of the cot, her arm folded back under her head, while the other lay draped across her side, holding the blanket high enough on her to reach just below her collarbone. Her face was relaxed, her eyelids slack and unfastened, while her lips were pursed gently, as if she were dreaming about a deep kiss from some romance novel scene.

She was beautiful.

He stood there, watching her sleep, knowing she would be waking soon after, and their little fantasy would soon be broken. The sunlight was sure to draw her ever so slowly from sleep, and once her beautiful hazel eyes opened again, it would end. The little daydream he’d built around them last night would shatter and the day would begin again.

He had half a notion to quickly find something to cover every window in the room, as to keep her from waking, and keep his desire a reality. But even as the thought entered his mind, she began to stir. Her eyelids fluttered softly, her long lashes sweeping across the bottoms of her eyes. She moved around some, a failed attempt to let herself be drawn back into the dreamy state she had been in moments before. After a few tries, she gave up, and let he lids finally open.

“Spike?” She asked, rolling over, expecting to find him still asleep beside her. She frowned when she didn’t.

“I’m here.” He called, his voice raspy, as he stared down at her from his view point in front of the cot.

Her head snapped up in the direction of his voice immediately, and she frowned again when she noticed that he was already dressed. “What’re you doin’?”

“Watching you.”

His voice was but a whisper in the quit room, and it seemed to almost echo off of the bare walls surrounding them.

“Why’re you dressed?” Buffy questioned, still not understanding. She rolled over onto her back, pulling herself up into an almost sitting position. He left arm caught hold of the blanket before it had a chance to fall, clutching it to her tiny body.

“I’m leaving.” His reply was simply, direct, straight to the point, and it pissed her off.

She sat up fully like lightning, her bright eyes narrowing suspiciously, burning fiercely.

“You prick.” She whispered. There was no venom in her voice, just disbelief.

Spike sighed heavily. He reached up to run a shaky ran through his tousled locks, wishing he knew how to fix everything. “Buffy…”

“Don’t you dare try to explain last night away, Spike. I’ve never done a thing to deserve one of your easy let downs.” She said, eyes leaving his to dart around the room in search of her clothes, before she remembered she wasn’t wearing much when she arrive there last night.

“It’s not an easy let down, Buffy.” He told her, stepping toward the cot, looking everywhere but at her.

“What would you call it, Spike?” She countered, wishing she had something-anything-to chuck at his annoying little head right then.

“It’s not-” He begin, but she wasn’t finished yet. And dammit, she wanted to finish.

“You were gonna sneak off before I woke up!” She yelled, moving to stand up, still holding the blanket tightly to her chest, feeling she might need some protection for her heart.

“I wasn’t.” He tried, his voice breathy and needy, his beautiful blue eyes searching hers for some small ounce of understanding.

“Don’t lie to me!”

“I’m not lying, Buffy.” He told her. “I most certainly was not bloody walkin’ out before you woke up! I was just…thinking, is all.”

“You need clothes on to think?” She wondered.

“As opposed to lying in bed naked with you?” He questioned. “I most definitely do need clothes to bloody think straight.”

She would’ve smiled in flattery if she wasn’t so angry at him.

“You can’t sweet talk your way outta this one, Spike.” She informed him seriously.

“That’s not what I’m doin’!” He yelled, frustrated, throwing his arms up in the air in aggravation. “Jesus, Buffy, would you quit accusing me of things?!”

“What the hell am I supposed to think after I wake up alone in a bed while the man I slept with last night is fully dressed and ready to bolt from the room?”

“I’m not gunna bolt!”

Silence engulfed the room again, and both sets of eyes avoided each other at all costs.

The both took a few steps toward the other and soon they were almost face to face.

Finally, “Look we need to talk about last night.”

“Ya think?” Buffy quipped, still angry.

“Nobody likes a smartass, luv.” Spike countered in all seriousness.

“Fuck you!”

Spike had no idea what possessed him to say the words, but he regretted them as they passed his lips.

“Already did, pet.” And she smacked him across the face. Hard.

His head wiped back violently and he instinctively grabbed at the run, burning flesh in her hand’s wake, holding it as he looked back to her with a pained expression on his face. But not from the slap.

She saw the look he sent her, and knew that he was trying to apologize with his eyes. She looked away, not accepting his apology. Rummaging through the things thrown about in the room, she tried to find what little clothes she had possessed last night before their coupling. Finding her black thong, she quickly pulled it on, before snapping her bra back into place.

She searched still for something else to put on, nothing liking the idea of making the same trip back to the house in her underwear-this time in the board daylight. Spike watched her in silence for a few more seconds before grabbing the set of sweats from a nearby box of stage costumes and holding them out to her.

“Here.” He said softly.

She took the offered garments thankfully and threw them on quickly, not bothering to look him in the eye. Once fully dressed, she stood up straight and went to walk past him and out the door. He caught her by the arm, and spun her back around her face him.

“Buffy, stop.”

“Leave me alone, Spike. Please.” She said, ripping her arm from his grasp.

“I can’t.”

“Oh? And why’s that?” She asked, the venom dripping from her words.

“You know why.” He told her, meeting her eyes dead on, trying to tell her how much she meant to him with just a single look.

“No, actually I don’t.” She declared, going to back away. “But the suspense is killing me, so why don’t you fill me in.”

He grabbed her arms again to keep her from turning and walking out the door. “Buffy, you know I-”

He stopped, unable to get the words out.

Teas pricked at the backs of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. she wasn’t gonna cry in front of him.

“If you can’t even say it-” She uttered, trying to pull away from him.

“I can say it.” He informed her, not letting up, or breaking the connection with his eyes. “I’m not allowed to say it.”

She laughed bitterly. “Are you insane?! What the hell is wrong with you?”

He said nothing, knowing she wasn’t gonna stop there.

“Are you even gonna tell, Cordelia?” She wondered.

“I don’t know, Buffy.” He whispered, feeling lost, helpless. He was so close to tears himself it wasn’t even funny.

She laughed again, the tears finally starting to escape her eyes. He flinched at them.

“Don’t cry.” He whispered, bringing her closer. “Please don’t cry, Baby.”

“Shut up!” She said, pulling back from him embrace. She looked away, then quickly looked back to meet his eyes again. “You need to decide what it is that you want, Spike.”

“I made a commitment, Buffy. I can’t just walk away from it.” He pleaded with her to understand.

“And don’t you think that commitment is shot to hell after last night?” She inquired, clearly not liking his response.

“I don’t know. But I need to find out.” He said, his voice raspy. “Please understand. Please.”

He was begging now, and he knew it.

“Understand? Understand!?” She yelled, pulling completely out of his grasp. “So you make love to me, then you go home to your wife?!”

“Buffy, please-”

“So when did you decide to become a committed fiancé, Spike? After the first time or the fourth?” She asked furiously.

Spike was angry now. He was doing the best he could. He didn’t actually know what he was doing, but he was trying. He didn’t want to hurt anybody, least of all Buffy. She was accusing thought, trying to put all the blame on him. But she was just as much to blame as he was for last night. She was there. She had the chance to stop anything from happening. She know that he was engaged, but she enjoyed just the same.

“Who says I wasn’t committed before?”

“Have you looked up the word lately?” She asked. “’Cause in the dictionary, you won’t find ‘fucking your ex up side a wall’.”

His eyes narrowed.

“That was bellow the belt, Buffy.” He warned.

“Oh, what, Spikey can’t take a bit of fair turnabout?” She taunted.

“You’re playin’ with fire, little girl.” He warned in a menacing tone.

“So burn me, you pussy.” She retorted, not at all intimidated but his warning. “Come on, give it to me! I know you want to.”

Spike slammed his fist into the door behind her, causing her to jump in surprise. He slowly closed in on her. They stared at each other for a moment, neither wanting to give. Finally Spike back off, giving room to leave if she wanted.

He knew he deserved every bit of her venomous words. He had strung her along for far too long. Not wanting to be the bad guy in either situation. Not wanting to break Cordy’s heart, but not wanting to give up on his love for Buffy. Jesus, he was such a prat.

"I never slept with Riley." She whispered softly, not looking at him. "I thought you should know."

He breathed deeply, running a hand through his hair. "I know that. On some level, I knew you wouldn't do that to me."

"You should have talked to me then." She told him, looking up at him angrily. "You didn't even bother to find out the whole story. You just gave up!"

The silence overwhelmed them both.

“You need to figure out what you want.” She told him harshly. “I won’t be waiting forever. Either way.”

Spike said nothing, but watched her as she left in silence. After he heard a few doors slam shut, he sighed heavily.

Spike already knew what he wanted. It just happened to be very different from what he was supposed to have. He needed to get out of there. He couldn’t breathe. He had to figure out what to do.

Either way, he needed to see Cordelia.

Chapter 30: Mending Broken Things

Cordelia’s head snapped to attention at the sound of knocking at the door to her penthouse. She had been busy trying to make the last few arrangements for the wedding. The wedding planners had advised her again and again that everything was in order, but she wouldn’t be satisfied until she checked everything herself. After giving up on trying to change the color of the flowers at the last minute, her uneasy mind had again wondered to the forbidden area.

Spike.

She had rolled every possibility around in her head a dozen times over, then two dozen more times for good measure, and had come to the inevitable conclusion that she knew she would reach if she had a moment’s pause to think about it.

She was in love with him.

Sure, she was mean and insensitive, rude and arrogant, but after everything, she was just so terrified of letting anyone in. And the fact that Spike, Spike, of all people was able to penetrate her thick ice field, just completely shook her to the core.

How had this happened?

Why would this happen?

Was it bad karma for everything that she’d every done in high school-hell, even now? The powers that be were finally stepping in and taking action to prevent the disastrous event that would be the marriage of Cordelia Chase and William Giles? They wanted to punish her for her wrongdoings.

So they made her fall in love with the one man she could never have. Sure, she was the bride, but Buffy was the woman she would never live up to.

Ever.

But she did love Spike. She honestly, truly did.

Which was exactly why she couldn’t marry him.

Opening the door, she was surprised to find the object of her thoughts standing before her, distraught and tousled. “Cordelia, we need to talk.”

~*~*~*~

Stepping into the house that once was considered her home, Buffy looked around slowly, shyly, as though she was positively sure that everyone in the house was exactly aware of what she had done last night.

The foyer and the main hallway were empty as usual, and Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. At least she didn’t have to worry about her dad seeing her like this. She was just a complete mess.

Tip toeing to the stairs, she was about to make her way to draw a hot bath and soak for a few hours, when a curious voice stopped her from the living room.

“Buffy, honey? Is that you?”

She turned around slowly, inwardly cringing. Why hadn’t she used the back door?

“Yeah, dad. It’s me.”

~*~*~*~

“About what?”

“Huh?”

“What do you want to talk about?” Cordelia repeated, concerned at seeing Spike so upset. He had been sitting in her living room for fifteen minutes now, and had yet to utter a word. He just sat there, hands on his knees, staring blankly at the richly carpeted floor.

“Oh, uh…” He trailed off, unsure, as he rose to his feet. He came to stand in front of her, trying to ready himself for the fallout.

“Cordy last night…” He began, before completely losing his nerve and looking away, laughing bitterly. “Christ, how the hell do I say this?”

“Well, for one, you could stop pacing and swearing like a sailor. You’re scaring me, Spike.” She told him, waiting nervously for him to finally get the words out. What was so bad as to make him utterly speechless? “Please, just say whatever it is you need to say!”

Drawing in a deep breathe, Spike tried again. Turning to face his fiancé, he looked her square in the eyes, and let the words spill forth.

“Last night, at the party…“ Here is comes… He thought sadly. “Last night I slept with Buffy.” He didn’t even finish the sentence when Cordelia’s hand connected with the side of his face.

His blonde head wiped back for a second time that day, and he waited for a moment, not wanting to look her in the eye and see that devastating look on her face. When he did turn back around, he felt his heavy heart sink in his chest. Fat crocodile tears were rolling fast down her cheeks. “You’re not-you didn’t-”

“Cor, pet…” He tried to reach for her, but she back away from him quickly.

“I knew that y-” She started, obviously very upset. She turned away from him and ran a hand through her long dark hair. She was trying so hard not to cry. “I knew that you and Buffy had-history, but I never- I mean, I trusted you.”

Spike looked down, deeply ashamed. “I know, Cordy. I know you did. I’m a complete prat. I never meant to do this-”

She held up her hand, abruptly stopping his inevitable long list of excuses. “Don’t. Please don’t start making up excuses.”

“I’ m not.” He said quietly.

“You’re not?” She asked in disbelief. Why wasn’t he making up excuses to help her, dammit?!

“No.” Spike told her seriously. “What I did…it’s inexcusable. There’s nothing I can say to make it better-”

“Got that right.” She muttered angrily.

“The way I feel about-about Buffy…” He began, running hand through his hair.

“You love her.” Cordelia observed, sighing loudly. “I already knew that.”

“Whataya mean, you knew?” Spike asked, incredulously.

“Spike, everybody knew. I’m not stupid. I knew what I was getting into when I said I’d marry you.” She told him seriously.

“But, then why did you?” Spike wondered aloud.

“Lot of reasons.” She told him, walking around him to take a sit on the expensive leather sofa. “Most of them not so noble on my part.”

“How so, pet?” Spike took a seat beside her, hands in his lap nervously.

“Well, at first it was because my parents wanted me to get married, so I could live up to their high expectations.” She told him, looking start ahead of her. “Later on it became about the prospect of winning. I just didn’t want Buffy to have you.”

Spike gave her a look.

“What?” She asked defensively. “I have some serious jealously issues where
Buffy’s concerned. She’s had the life I always wanted.”

“You’re serious?” Spike sounded unconvinced.

“I am, actually.” Cordy laughed, a sadness behind the smile. “She’s excepted, just as she is. No one’s ever tried to make her into something that she isn’t. No one’s ever tried to control her life. And she’s loved. No one’s ever cared for me like that before. No one’s ever loved me like that before.”

“Cor, pet, I’m sorry. I never meant for this to happen.” He told her honestly. “When I asked you to marry me, I meant it. I was willing to spend the rest of my life with you. I still am.”

Cordy smiled a watery smile before turning her head to look the other way. She seemed to be contemplating the issue deeply. A heavy sigh escaped her lips and she wiped at her red cheeks furiously “You know, I realized something during these past few days. It’s weird, in the midst of all this insanity, a couple of things are actually starting to make sense.”

Spike smiled.

She met his eyes again and let go of a breath she’d forgotten she’d been holding. “I love you.”

Spike sucked in a surprised breath. He quickly stood up, his shocked blue eyes never leaving hers. “You what?”

He was starting to get dizzy and he was short of breath. This had just confirmed his suspicions.

He was definitely going to hell.

“Spike?” Cordelia tried, and gulped when he didn’t answer her right away. She was sure she was gonna be responsible for sending this man into a state of catatonia at the rate she was going. “Spike say something!”

His eyes came back into focus and he breathed out slowly, reaching up to scratch at the back of his neck. “Why?”

“Huh?”

“Why do you love me? I’ve been so bad to you. I cheated on you last night Cordy, and you tell me you love?” He ranted starting to pace in front of her nervously, muttering things under his breath occasionally.

“Please, Spike. I was horrible to you.” She told him, and met his eye when he stopped pacing. “In high school, college…hell, even now! I’m a mean person, Spike. I deserve what I get.”

“Well, you didn’t bloody deserve this!” Spike shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. “I mean, what Scott did to you-”

“Fucked me up pretty bad.” Cordelia nodded, looking away, her chocolate brown eyes glistening with fresh tears. She hated to feel like this. Weak. She didn’t want to admit that what Scott had done to her had hurt her so much. Spike’s betrayal just brought all of the old feelings to the surface and she honestly felt like breaking down for the first time in her life.

“Never admitted it…even to myself. But it’s true. I thought I would die that day. I came off so hell bent and angry, but really I just felt like laying down and dying.” She wiped at the hot tears streaming down her face heatedly, sniffling softly. Her pretty face was sticky with tears, her eyes puffy and red from crying. Her cheeks were a deep red, and her lips were pursed together, no doubt trying to swallow the pain down like a little red pill.

“You were there, though.” She smiled through the tears, looking up at him thankfully. “So hurt and alone. Like me. We helped each other, Spike. We clung to each other when we both had nothing left to hold on to. It was solace…peace.”

“And now?” He asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

“And now somehow I wake up one day and find myself in love with you.” She chuckled, closing her eyes for a brief moment. “But it’s not right. It isn’t meant to be.”

“We’re engaged.” He pointed out, lightly. He just wanted to make this right. He loved Buffy. Always had. But he needed to make things right with Cordy. He would be hurt to loose Buffy. Devastated. But he was such a prat. He deserved to feel that way.

Cordy looked down to the beautiful diamond on her lift hand. It wasn’t Spike’s mother’s ring, even though she’d asked for it when he proposed. He had bought her a new ring, telling her that he wanted to make a fresh start with her. She’d known the real reason though.

It belonged to Buffy only. Even if he wasn’t with her, it belonged to her.

She slipped the ring off of her finger gently, taking a moment to admire it’s radiance, before reaching for his hand and placing it in his open palm.

She smiled good-humorly up at him, tears still in her eyes. “Look at that. I’ve finally done somethin’ right.”

Spike sighed, holding the ring tightly in his grasp. Bending down to his knees, he kneeled in front of her. He gently took her arms in his hands, looking her in the eyes head on. “Cordy, if you still wanna do this, we will. I said I’d marry you and I will. Just say the word, pet.” He told her honestly.

She saw the sincerity in his eyes, and smiled. He was willing to marry her still even though he was in love with another woman, because he had promised her he would. He really is the pick of the litter, isn’t he? She thought, happily. But he wasn’t hers. He never was- Never would be.

She would have laughed at the absurdity of it all if she wasn’t so upset.

Then she shook her head softly. “No, I need to be on my own for a while. All this time I’ve just clung to whatever came along- Defined myself by the people I was with, or the clothes I wore. The truth is, I don’t know who I am. But I wanna find out.” She paused, grabbing his hands, and pulling them from their hold on her arms. “And I need to do this alone. I can’t be with anybody until I know me.”

Spike nodded, understanding. “I really am sorry. For last night. For everything.”

She smiled. “I know. So am I. I was hardly the perfect bride, but I did care.”

“Thank you… for loving me.” Spike said, holding her hands in his.

“Kinda hard not to.” She advised him. “You’re a great guy.”

He shook his head.

“I’m starting to think I don’t know myself anymore.” He confided in her quietly.

“Well, I know who you are.” She told him, holding the hands that held her own.

Spike looked curiously at her, wanting for her to explain.

“You’re the man who loves Buffy.”

Spike smiled, nodding after a moment. “I am. And I’m not gunna lie to ya, pet. I wanna be with ‘er. ‘T’s all I ever wanted. When I’m with her, I feel like the luckiest man on earth. Like I can be anything I want to be. Like I’m a better man.”

“You’re a good man, Spike.” She said the words like she really meant them.

“You think?” He breathed dis-heartedly.

“I’m Cordelia Chase, dumb ass. I don’t think. I know.” She smiled like her old, confident self again.

Spike laughed. “You really are a hell of a woman, Cordelia. I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you needed.”

She smiled, understanding.

“But don’t fret, Cor. Someday you’ll find who you’re supposed to be with. Those ponces before- Scott- they were nobodies. Bloody gits, they were.”

She laughed. “Hey, I’m well aware of my stellar history with guys, Spike. And no, I really don’t see fat grandbabies in my near future. But I don’t think that matters right now. It’s-”

She stopped, trying to figure out how to vocalize what she wanted to say. “Okay. I’m cookie dough.”

Spike raised an eyebrow at her.

She gave him a look. “Just bare with me here. I’m not finished baking. I’m not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I’m supposed to be. But I make it through this and the next thing, and the next, and maybe one day I’ll turn around and realize I’m ready. I’m cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to enjoy warm, delicious, cookie-me, then that’s fine. That’ll be then. When I’m done.”

Spike nodded again, leaning forward to place a chaste kiss on his lips, before pulling away. “You’re gonna be just fine.”

“I know.” She nodded, finding confidence she didn’t know she had. “But first, I need you to help me with something.”

~*~*~*~

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, huney?”

“I love you.” A pause, and then, “Even after everything, I love you.”

“I know, Buffy. I love you too.” Hank told his eldest daughter, stroking the hair on her head as it lay on his shoulder. “And I’m sorry I wasn’t there. And for the divorce. I’m so sorry you and Dawn had to go through that. I never wanted that for you too.”

“I know.” She replied softly, closing her eyes in exhaustion. “But Mom doesn’t. You should tell her.”

Hank nodded softly, his eyes straight ahead. “I will.”

“I don’t mean to be such a crybaby.” She whispered.

“You’re not.” Hank told her, looking down at the top of her head. “You’re hurting. What happened with William-”

“Was my mistake.”

“Was it?” He wondered.

“Was it what?” She was confused. Too many serious questions while her head was about to explode.

“A mistake.”

“Oh.” She said, understanding, thinking. All she could come up with, however, was, “I don’t know.”

“He loves you.”

“Does he?”

“He does.” Hank said quietly. Even though the house was empty save for them, they still whispered. “When you were gone…he was a complete wreck, Buffy.”

“He sure got over it fast.” She said sarcastically, wincing when her head started to thumb harder.

“Well, the trip to New York kinda drained him.”

“What?!” Buffy exclaimed, sitting up straight. “Spike was in New York?”

Oops.. Hank thought.

Chapter 31: Lies My Parents Told Me

“Oh, Jesus! I don’t think I can do this!” Cordelia spun around, ready to bolt. Spike easily caught her around the waist, however, and swung her back around to face the gigantic brick mansion in front of them.

“Oh, yes, you can.”

She shook her brown head vehemently, eyes wide and looking beyond scared. “Nooo. I really can’t, Spike. I mean, I thought I could, but, ya know, as it turns out…I really can’t.”

“Cordelia, this is what you said you wanted.”

“Yeah, well, we all say that we want things that we really don’t.” She snapped, a little too harshly.

Spike gave her a hurt look, and she frowned, upset that she had managed to hurt his feelings yet again.

“I didn’t mean that.”

Spike shook his head solemnly. “Yes, yes, you did.” He pulled away from her, and took a large step back. “And it’s okay, really. I deserved that, pet.”

“No you didn’t. That’s just me being bitchy Cordy again.”

Spike nodded, looking back up at the tall building in front of them. “You ready, yet, luv?”

She looked from his face to the place that she had once called home. Sighing out loud, she shrugged, willing herself not to cry until after she was done doing what needed to be done to set things right.

She nodded, frowning. “Whatever.”

~*~*~*~

Buffy stopped pacing abruptly at the sound of the doorbell. Her father had left the room to use the restroom, and she was left to deal with her own thoughts. Spike was in New York. Spike came to New York. Spike hopped a plane and came to New York to see me. To ask me to marry him. Spike wanted to marry me! She inwardly did the snoopy dance at the last thought, then frowned when she realized that said Spike was now engaged to someone else. “Arrgh!” She growled, throwing her hands up into the air, determined to clear her thoughts about the bleached-wonder and focus on anything else.

Opening the door a little to enthusiastically, Buffy was surprised to see the one person she wasn’t expecting.

“Mom!” She cheered loudly, and flung herself forward to throw her arms around the eldest Summers woman.

Joyce instinctively dropped her luggage on the ground and wrapped her own arms around her daughter.

“Someone’s happy to see their mother.” She commented, amused.

Buffy laughed as she pulled away, giving her mother a toothy smile. “You’ve got no idea. God, I’m so glad you’re here.”

“That bad, huh?” Joyce smiled, reaching down to pick up her forgotten bags.

Buffy slapped her hands away and heaved both bags off the ground, turning to return to the inside foyer. Joyce followed close behind, and closed the door with a soft click.

“Things have been insane here.” Buffy told her, looking over her shoulder. The two entered the living room, where Buffy deposited the bags near the couch, and turned to face her mother again.

“Insane?” Joyce asked, an eyebrow raised up in question.

Buffy nodded, briefly frowning when she thought of the days’ past events. “Oh yeah. Do I have some stories to tell you.”

“Is that right?” Joyce smiled, feeling the need to tease her eldest daughter. “Are any of them kinky?”

Buffy’s green eyes widen into a comically large size, and Joyce suppressed a chuckle.

“Mother!”

Joyce laughed loudly, and her eyes lit up. Buffy had to smile at that. It was always a plus to see her mother happy. She’d let her mom tease he all day if it made her smile.

“You were such an easy target, sweetie. I couldn’t help it.” Joyce told Buffy, with a loving smile. “So, how’s William doing?”

Buffy frowned and looked to the ground, blushing as she thought of the things they did to each other the night before. She ran a shaky hand through her hair, and took a deep breath. Looking up to meet her mother’s waiting gaze, she chuckled slightly.

“Yeah, well, that’s the insane part.”

Joyce furrowed her brows, not quite understanding. “William’s insane?”

Buffy shook her head. “No.” She stop then, and thought about what she just said. “Actually, yes. Spike’s completely insane. You should see him, mom. Just the other day, I had to taze him with my tazer, then strap him to the bed.”

“Seems I have missed a lot. I should have flown in earlier.” Joyce smiled. “I’ve missed all the excitement.”

“Don’t worry. I’m sure I can provide more than my share.” Both women turned sharply at the new voice.

“Hank.” Joyce observed, clearly affected by her ex-husband’s presence. After all, they hadn’t had any contact at all for nearly three years.

“Joyce.” Hank nodded curtly, uncertain how he should proceed.

Buffy looked back and forth between her parents, and nodded to herself. Making the decision to give them some space and time alone to work out their issues, Buffy clapped her hands together, swinging them back and forth.

“Wow, look at the time.” She pretended to check her imaginary watch. “I really would just love to stay and chat, but I got this…thing, to do, and I really don’t want to miss it. Mom, I’m sure dad can help you with your things. My room seems to have magically cleared out and all.”

Joyce looked to her daughter, confused. “You room? Where are you staying?”

“Next door.” Buffy told her, inching closer to the front door.

“Why are you next door?”

Buffy laughed nervously. “And that’s just one of those insane little things that I’m gonna have to fill you in on. Later.”

Joyce gave her an annoyed look, and rolled her eyes. “I really hope you aren’t trying to seduce the groom before the wedding, Buffy.”

Buffy laughed, knowing her mother was just teasing again. “No, mom. That would be rude.”

“That’s right.” Joyce smiled, ignoring Hank for the moment.

“I’ll see you both later.” Buffy turned to go, but stopped to look back. “And dad?”

Hank looked up at his daughter. “Yeah, sweetie?”

“Don’tcha think it’s about that time to do that thing you have to do, too?” She asked pointedly.

Hank nodded, understanding. He glanced in the direction of Joyce, who looked bewildered at the strange exchange between father and daughter.

“See ya later, guys.” And she closed her door softly behind her retreating form.

Hank turned to look at his ex-wife, and waited silently. Joyce did the same.

A moment passed and he silence threatened to swallow them up.

Finally finding his voice, Hank cleared his throat and met her gaze head on. “Joyce, I want to apologize.”

~*~*~*~

A door slammed shut loudly, rattling the foundation of the large mansion, and thunderous yelling could be heard, even from the driveway, as the young dark-haired woman made her way quickly down the porch steps and toward her expensively looking red convertible. Digging around in her leather purse, she finally found her keys and pulled them out, shaking them around to locate the correct key to unlock her door.

Reaching the driver’s side of the car, she inserted the key into the lock and stopped. She sniffled loudly, reaching up to wipe furiously at the escaping tears before roughly slinging her purse back to her should where it had fallen. She was determined not to cry however, and slammed her fist down angrily atop the hood of the car in an attempt to get a hold of her emotions.

Hearing the yelling voices getting louder by the minute, Cordelia turned suddenly when the front door swung open and the arguing continued.

“We should have known you wouldn’t be able to keep it in your pants, boy! Someone like you should have stayed in the white trash family you came from.” An older looking man, with silver tinted brown hair, in a very expensive Armani suit shouted from the doorway.

Spike’s head snapped back to glare at the man, clearly pissed off. “White trash? Please, Mr. Chase, you do know that Revello Drive is one of the most bloody expensive streets to live on in Sunnydale, don’t you? Or did you miss that town meeting when you were out fucking hookers behind your wife’s back?”

Mrs. Chase suddenly appeared in the doorway, alarmed to have heard such a thing. “You get the hell out of here, William. I won’t have some ignorant little shit here spreading lies about my husband. Roger would never do no such thing!”

“Oh, really, mom?” Cordelia spoke up from her spot near the car, and stocked over toward the house, keys still hanging from the lock, forgotten for the moment. “What about that time when he missed my graduation ceremony, or when he wasn’t there to except his award for VIP of Chase Industries? Jesus, mom, he was even late for Lilah’s service for crying out loud!”

She had tears in her chocolate eyes now, remembering her late older sister.

Mr. and Mrs. Chase both gasped at her exclamation.

“How dare you, you little brat?!!” Mr. Chase yelled down to her. “I was stuck in traffic, you ungrateful-”

Cordy cut him out though. “Oh, really? Traffic, was it? So it must have been the traffic that somehow managed to leave those little black panties under the front seat too, huh dad?”

Mrs. Chase’s eyes bugged out of her head. “What?!! Your father would never do that, Cordelia!”

“No, no I guess he wouldn’t, would he?” Cordy smiled bitterly. “Father knows best, for he can do no wrong, right? Wake up, mother! How can you be so blind?!”

Mrs. Chase huffed loudly, while Mr. Chase responded with another vicious comment.

“You have no right coming here-bringing him with you- and accusing me of cheating on your mother! Maybe if you could keep your own man entertained, he wouldn’t be off fucking his ex. What’s ‘er name? Bunny?”

“It’s Buffy!” Spike responded, clenching his jaw. Cordy’s eyes snapped to his face, almost feeling his anger rolling off him in waves.

“Buffy!? Like that’s any better!” Mr. Chase shouted, annoyance written across his face. “Figures.”

“What the bloody ’ell’s that supposed to mean?” Spike yelled back, ready to charge.

“No wonder he’s getting’ it from Buffy, Cor.” Cordy listen to her father’s harsh words. “With a name like that…Bet she’s good too, huh, William? How much she charge by the hour, son?”

“You son of a bitch!” Spike went to take a step toward the older man, when Cordy put a hand on his chest, halting him. Spike looked down at her, and gave her an expectant look. Did she really expect him to not respond to that one?

Turning back to her parents, Cordy was livid. “You shut up about Buffy, got it!? You haven’t the slightest clue about her. She isn’t anything like that. You’re the only whore here!”

Spike was surprised that Cordelia stepped up to defend Buffy. He figured the last thing she wanted to do was put Buffy in a better light than herself in front of her parents. He knew the two would probably never be the best of friends, but maybe there was hope to form some kind of stable ground that could lead to a friendship.

However awkward that may be.

“Oh, look at you, playing the martyr. Do you really think that little slut wouldn’t screw you over the first chance she got? Cordelia, she just slept with your fiancé not twenty four hours ago! And you’re defendingher?!” Mr. Chase asked incredulously.

Cordy shook her head, determined to get what she needed to say out. “Yes, I am. Because I know she’s not like this. Like us. She doesn’t stomp on whoever she has to, to get what she wants. And you know what? I may not like her very much. I may not ever like her much, but I like her a whole lot more than I’ll ever like you!”

Mr. Chase laughed callously. “You little idiot! You have no right. You‘re nobody.”

“I’m the idiot?!” She asked in amazement. “Look at you, you pig! You go through life crushing anyone and anything in your path, thinking you’re so bad. You’re a coward, that what you are. Sending your lackeys and underpaid employers to do your dirty work, so you always come out smelling like a rose. How many companies have you stolen out from under people’s backs; How many people lost jobs, or gone to jail in order for you to stay out yourself?” Cordy stopped and laughed, hating the fact that it sounded so much like her fathers. “I bet the IRS would be so interested in learning that you have just innocently forgot to pay your taxes for the last ten years!”

Mr. Chase’s eyes grew comically wide at that. “You’ve no proof!”

“Wanna bet, daddy?” She responded sweetly.

Mrs. Chase choose that moment to intervene. “Cordelia Chase, you stop that this instant! I didn’t raise you like this.”

“You didn’t raise me at all, mother! Flour, the housekeeper, was the one to explain my period to me!”

Spike and Mr. Chase swarmed a little at that. Cordy had to supposed the urge to roll her eyes.

“I was a working mother with two children! I did my best!” Mrs. Chase replied indignantly.

“The best you could do was get drunk and try to teach use to do the salsa?” Cordy questioned.

“Don’t talk to your mother that way!”

“Shut up, dad!” She spat the word at him, like it was something really offensive, and then turned deadly serious. “I want you to look me in the eye, and be honest for once in your life.”

Mr. Chase was silent for a moment and seemed to be considering her request. “I’m always honest.”

“I want you to look me in the eye, and tell me that you don’t wish it was me instead of Lilah.”

Silence filled the air. Everyone looked at Cordy, who looked like she might cry.

Spike had always known that the dark-haired woman had never gotten over her sister’s death, but this was just heartbreaking. She honestly believed that it should have been her that died that night. He was suddenly filled with a newfound anger at the two people still standing on the porch in silence.

“What?” Mr. Chase asked in silence, dazed.

“Don’t lie to me. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of only hearing what you both want me to hear. I want to know. I need to know. Tell me that you don’t wish it was me that night. That you don’t resent the fact that I lived everyday after that, wasting my life-as you like to call it,- while she can’t. Tell me!”

By the time she finished, she has tears in her eyes, and desperation in her voice. She needed this. It was her closure. Her life. Without this she would forever go on with her life always wondering, never knowing. Spike realized that her problems had little to do with him or Buffy. They were problems with herself. His heart went out to her.

“Cordy, you father and I never thought that. We love you, really we did. But when we lost her, we didn’t no what to do. There was just so much! But we always loved you.” Mrs. Chase told her daughter.

“That why you tried to make me just like her?” Cordy retorted angrily. “God, mom, I couldn’t even think my own thoughts. I wasn’t Cordelia anymore. I was just the Lilah replacement. Why couldn’t you just let me be myself? Now I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

She was tired, worn, an ready to leave by the time the last words left her mouth. At least I didn’t cry in front of them. She thought sardonically.

Mr. Chase looked like he was being delicate now. “Cordy, we-”

But she cut them off quickly. “Don’t. I already have my answer, really, and I don’t care anymore. It’s doesn’t matter to me anymore. I don’t need you, or anyone else for that matter. I got me. For your information, you both were really sucky parents, anyway.” She laughed a very Cordelia like laugh and turned to make her way back to her car.

Spike smiled, proud, and walked to his own car, parked next to hers.

Mr. Chase breathed in slowly, obviously affected by her rant. She stopped after she unlocked and opened her door, an looked back up to her mother and father.

“Well done, Cor.” Her father told her, looking hurt, while her mother reflected the same look from her position behind him.

“What can I say, I’ve learned from the best.” Cordy smiled a sickenly-sweet smile. “Now, if you’ll do me the honor of getting thehell out of my life…I’ve got more important things to do than be here.”

Her mother gasped.

“Oh, and daddy?” Cordy called, letting him mellow in his own juices before she spoke again. “I’d watch out. ‘Cause the bitch, is back!”

Mr. Chase waited for a moment before nodding curtly, and turning around to walk back into the house, taking his wife-who was reluctant to follow- with him.

Spike watched as she watched them go inside, a sardonic smile on her face. She looked over to him, and laughed. “Losers!”

Spike chuckled at her antics, and opened his own door, ready to leave. Her voice stopped him. “Spike?”

Her turned around and gave her a questioning look. “What if I really am nobody?”

He shook his head, not even thinking about it. “Don’t be a bint.”

She smiled a broken smile. “I’m a bint?”

Spike smiled.

She nodded. “That’s something.”

He laughed. “Spike?”

“Yeah?”

“Take care.”

He nodded, serious. “You too, Cor.”

And with that, they both got into their cars and drove off.

~*~*~*~

Buffy tapped her fingers on the bar top, bored. She really wasn’t sure why she had decided to come back to the Bronze, but with noting to do until she figured out what to say to Spike and where to go to say what she had to say to Spike, she figured why not. The crowds went as bad in the afternoon, and she was glad she could get out of the house for a while. Maybe her parents would finally work out their issues and find some sort of middle ground between the two of them.

At least, she hoped anyway.

A hand landed on the counter next to her, and she looked up to find the last person she expected to find here.

“Angel?”

“Hey Buffy.” Angel told her, sitting down and making himself comfortable. “Let’s have a little chat.”



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Chapter 32: An Angel To The Rescue

“About?” Buffy asked, as she watched Angel order himself a drink.

“You want something?” He offered, as the bartender waited impatiently.

She shook her head no.

“How ‘bout Spike?” Angel asked, answering her question.

Buffy swiveled around on her chair and stood, grabbing her purse. “How ‘bout not.”

Angel reached out and grabbed her arm as she turned to go. “Wait, Buffy.”

“For what?” She asked, eyebrows rising in question.

“I want to talk to you.” He told her like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I don’t want to talk about Spike.” She told him warily, sitting back down cautiously.

Angel nodded. “Alright then. We won’t. About Cordy then.”

Buffy huffed. “What the hell is your problem. I said no!

Angel laughed, shaking his head. “You know, now I remember why I had such a crush on you in high school. You’re quite a feisty thing, aren’t you?”

Buffy’s hazel eyes went wide. “You a crush on me? You’re kiddin’ me?”

“Nope.”

She chucked, amused at the irony. “I used to have such a thing for you as a kid.”

“Until Spike.”

She nodded slowly. “Until him.”

“I always remember you being so intimidating. You knew exactly what you wanted, and what you needed to get it. Like guys just weren’t your main priority.”

She nodded again. “That’s right.”

“I only realized that I liked you when you become completely enamored with my little brother. Oh, the irony.” Angel smiled dramatically, before sipping his drink almost thoughtfully.

Buffy chuckled, channeling her inner valley girl. “By then, I was so over you.”

Suddenly Angel grew serious. “He really loves you, Buffy.”

She stopped, giving him a strong glare, before looking down at her hands to find them shaking. She used to believe that, but now? How could she believe that after everything?

“Angel-”

“Buffy, just hear me out.” He waited until she nodded to continue. “There has not been a single girl in Spike’s entire life that has held him like you do. Ever since that first meeting we all had in your front yard so many years ago, he was hooked. I know he’s made some pretty stupid mistakes. You both have. That’s life. But if anyone knows about needing forgiveness, it’s me.”

He paused, and looked away. Buffy could tell that they were about to tread into serious territory here. This looked almost painful for him.

“I was so angry at him for being the one to find my mother. She was my mother, you know? I should have been the one. So I took it out on myself. Started staying out late, hanging out with the wrong crowd, doing the wrong things. And when that wasn’t enough, I went to Faith. She offered me the world, and I was stupid enough to believe her. She also offered me a chance to get back at Spike.

“So I took it. I figured if I could hurt him bad enough, that I would feel some sort of satisfaction knowing that he felt what I felt. Betrayal. Well, I succeeded in hurting him, but I also hurt myself. that I had lost my only brother and best friend, and so I ran away like a coward to the one person that had never done anything for me. My father.

“Things just went from bad to worse after that. Then when I met Darla, she captivated me in a way that nothing had ever before. She was so good, and full of life. She saw the good in everyone, and saw something in me that I didn’t even know was there. I knew that I had to become a better man for her. So I did, and things gradually got better. My relationship with Spike now is better too, but we still have our trust issues. He’s a good man, though. And when he feels I deserve his forgiveness, I’m sure I’ll get it.”

Buffy listened to him attentively, all the while in complete amazement at the realization that all those words had indeed come from Angel. He didn’t usually have the reputation as a thinker. He was the good boy, turned bad, turned good, and most of the time came off as someone who just went with the flow of things. He had grow up so much since high school. My, has Darla really gotten to him. Buffy thought.

She tried to focus when she realized that he was still talking.

“Look, Buffy, all I’m sayin’ is give him a chance. Throughout both of your lives you’ve always held back a little. As kids, it was just a crush. As teenagers, he always felt he needed to change to please you, and you always thought that you’d ruin the friendship. Then when you both really fell in love, the distance became too much, and both of you lost faith in each other. And now, between the wedding from hell, Cordy’s antics, and the incredibly strange strip-tease you did the other night, everything’s just as confusing again.”

Buffy glared at him when he mentioned the little show she’d put on for nearly two dozen guys. She was really trying to repress that particular memory.

“But the point is, all you both have of each other are pieces. And a real relationship can’t live on that, not for long anyway. No matter how much in love both of you are, you can’t just expect to pick and choose what you give and take. It doesn’t work that way. It’s all or nothing here.”

Buffy had tears in her eyes, his emotional words having done their job, and pulled on something deep inside her. It was true. Neither she, nor Spike had fully trusted the other enough to let their whole selves out. They were both afraid. No real lasting relationship could come from that. In order for this to work, they both had to give it their all, for good or for bad. Question was, were either one of them ready to do that?

“I’m also letting you know right now, that Spike left the choice up to Cordelia, after he confessed to whatever happened between you to last night.” He say the words as though he really had no idea what had occurred between them, but his eyes said a different story.

How did he know all this?

At her questioning gaze, Angel continued. “Despite the fact that we used to date and currently hate each other, Cordy and I are still friends.”

Buffy blinked a few times, not really understanding that last remark. Angel and Cordy logic. She mused. I’m not really meant to understand it.She suddenly grew angry when she realized what Angel was telling her. Spike was too scared to make the choice, so her left it up to his fiancé, not wanting to hurt anyone.

He couldn’t even choose me when it counted, could he?

“He’s scared, Buffy.” Angel told her, knowing instinctively what her mind was working around. “He’s been cheated on by Faith, felt cheated on you, even though both of you know it isn’t true. He’s also been in a serious relationship with a woman even more jaded than he is. Cordy’s went through some stuff, believe me. Not only with her parents but with Scott Hope.”

Now Buffy was really confused. “That gay guy from Ohio?”

Now it was Angel’s turn to looked confused. “Scott’s gay?”

She shrugged. “Last I heard. Some guy in my film class went to prom with him in his hometown.”

“Don’t let Cordelia know that.” Angel cautioned, a little bit amused. “It’s one thing to be cheated on with another girl, but a guy? That could scar her for life.”

Buffy smiled, amused at the thought.

“I know you’re hurt by what he did.”

“Who? Scott?” Buffy looked ever the part of dumb blonde.

“No, not Scott. Spike!” Angel was beyond irritated now. “I know that when he left the choice up to Cordy, that hurt. But Buffy, he needs to learn to make that choice on his own. Even if you can look past the fast that you’re hurt and be with him, he has to be the one to do it.”

“What did she choose?” Buffy interrupted suddenly.

“What?” His brows furrowed in confusion.

“Cordy.“ She clarified. “What did she choose?” She posed, curious.

Angel sighed loudly, pausing his lecture to take a long drink, finishing what was left in his glass in one gulp. “She broke it off. She knew he didn’t love her.”

“She knew?” Buffy inquired, not understanding.

“She knew there was only you.” Angel told her softly. “She just called me, in fact. Right before I came in here. Said she had just left her parents house. It apparently didn’t go too well. She’s on her way to L.A. to go on her honeymoon with Harmony.”

They both laughed at that.

“Does she love him?” The blonde wondered softly, not really sure it she wanted to know. It would probably make her feel even more guilty, and that was something she really didn’t need right now.

“She does.” Angel confirmed, keeping his eyes on her to watch the emotions play across her face.

Buffy nodded, solemnly. “What did you mean Spike has to make the choice, not me?”

“I mean that if he isn’t forced into making this choice, he won’t. He’ll leave everything up to you, or he’ll just give up like he did when he saw you with Riley in New York. He needs to learn to fight for what he wants.”

“So what do I do then, Angel?” Buffy wondered, waving her hand in the air exasperatedly.

“Give him an ultimatum.” Angel told her, seriously.

She gave him a puzzled look.

“You have to leave him, Buffy.”

Chapter 33: Cause and Effect

Spike barged into the seeming empty house, slamming the door behind him roughly. He threw his keys in the near vicinity of the small end table where they usually ended up, and rounded the old Victorian stairs, bounding up them two at a time. Reaching the top landing up the second floor, he paused in the hallway to catch him breath, running a shaky hand through his already disheveled locks. Welling himself to calm down, he snapped his head in the direction to the room that Buffy had been calling hers for the last two weeks.

“Buffy!” She shouted loudly, leaping into action again. He reached her closed door quickly, roughly grabbing the door knob and throwing it wide open, a huge smile on his handsome face. “Buffy, I’ve got great news, pet!”

His sparkling blue eyes lost some of their luster when he noticed that the room had been stripped of everything that had belonged to the girl in question. The pictures she had brought with her to sit on the nightstand were gone, replaced with the old knick-knacks that his father had liked. The closet door had been left open, a few nameless pieces of clothing and accessories left behind in her seemingly quick exit. The bed had been re-made recently, Spike could tell, and he was willing to bet his life on the fact that those old sheets still smelled of her enrapturing scent.

The blonde man blinked rapidly, not believing what he was seeing. Buffy had left, probably back to New York to forget about him, and Spike suddenly found that he felt like he was choking.

Crossing the room quickly, he threw open the window that stood opposite of her old room in the Summers’ household next door. He paused briefly, wondering is she had left to stay with her father for the rest of her stay, but promptly tossed that idea away. She wouldn’t live with her father again, if he’d offer to pay her. A loud knock on the bedroom doorframe caused his blonde head to snap in the direction of the sound.

Angel stood before him, looking rather too calm about this whole situation, and Spike was beginning to suspect that the old, brooding man had something to do with why Buffy had suddenly decided to abandon him.

“Where is she?” Spike demanded, stepping closer to the taller man.

Angel hardly reacted, only letting his fingers dance around the edges of the small scrap of paper that floated around in his light grasp. Spike’s eyes were immediately drawn to the small paper.

“She’s gone.” Angel said simply. “She left some time ago.”

Spike was beyond angry at this point, stepping closer to his brother, his fists clinched at his sides. “Go that memo, peaches. I want to know where she went.”

“Home, Spike. She went home.” Angel waved his hand around the room, as if to indicate that everything that had once showed the world that a vibrant, beautiful woman had been here, was gone. “She packed all her things up, and caught the first flight she could get back to New York.”

Spike visibly flinched, and let his hurt filled eyes travel around the room. It was though she had never been here at all. “Why?”

“Why do you think, Spike?” Angel drawled sarcastically. He even rolled his dark eyes for good measure.

“Don’t play bleedin’ games here, mate.” Spike warned, coming closer. “This is my life you’re scoffing at.”

“And what a wonderful life it turned out to be, ah?” Angel laughed mockingly.

Spike had had enough, and with one more step forward, he took a hard swing in the direction of his older brother’s face.

Angel reeled back from the blow, surprised. He looked up at the younger man, hurt flashing in his eyes. “Jesus, Spike. I’m only tryin to help.”

“By mocking my pain?!” Spike demanded to know, outraged.

“By showing you how much you really have to lose.” Angel told him seriously. “Buffy’s gone. She isn’t coming back, man.”

“Why?” Spike wondered, almost pleading at this point. “What happened? Did she say something to you? Did you say something to her?”

Angel didn’t like the accusation in his voice. “What if I did? The end result was the same, now wasn’t it? She still left!”

“Stop it!” Spike shouted, running both of his hands through his hair, and falling backwards a step or two. “I don’t understand what happened. I went to talk to Cordelia, to straighten things out. Buffy knew that. She wanted it!”

“Yeah, but she wanted you to be a man also.” Angel pointed out.

Spike narrowed his eyes again. “Do you want me to hit you again?”

Angel rolled his eyes dramatically. “I’ll have you sittin’ on your ass on the floor in two seconds, Spike. I’m not here to play games with you!”

“Then why are you here?!”

“To help.”

“Well, thanks a bunch, mate. But I don’t really need your soddin’ help!”

“You sure about that?” Angel wondered, crossing his arms.

“Look, Angel. I don’t have time to get into this with you right now.” Spike told him seriously. “I need to know why Buffy left.”

“She got a phone call.” Angel informed him.

“A bloody phone call?” The blonde man asked incredulously. “From who?”

“You fiancé.”

“Ex-bloody fiancé. Ex!” Spike corrected him loudly. “And that is over.”

“That’s not what Cordelia has been saying.”

Spike was more and more confused by the second. “What?!”

Angel nodded slowly, figuring that he had finally gained his extremely irate brother’s attention now. “Seems little Miss. Queen C has come to the extremely entertaining conclusion that she isn’t really as over you as she thought she was. Which to be honest, is the most idiotic thing she has ever done.”

Angel seemed completely amused over the whole situation, and that continued to piss Spike off.

“Can you just please skip to the bleedin’ important parts, mate? You’re only confusin’ me more?” Spike quipped, irritatedly.

Angel stood up straighter, letting the blonde know exactly how serious this was. He let his hands fall to his sides, the tiny piece of a paper still clutched very firmly in one of them. He walked around the room slowly, letting his fingertips graze various objects on the table and walls. He had purposely cleared the way to the open bedroom door, wanting to see if his suspicions were right.

“Cordelia called here. Buffy answered.” He told Spike, coming to a stop beside the shorter man. “Seems the two ladies in your life had a lot to talk about.”

“Wha? Why?” Spike asked softly.

“She called to talk to you. She wanted to tell you that she regrets her choice. She loves you.”

Spike looked away, not wanting to hear this.

“She wants you to met her in Vegas”

Spike’s blonde head snapped immediately back to him then, knowing exactly what he was implying. “She still wants to get married?!”

“Yep.” Angel nodded, smiling softly.

“B-but I can’t.” Spike stuttered out. “We’ve already…and I’ve already. I’m bloody going to New York!”

“What, now?” Angel smiled.

Spike nodded. “Pretty much.”

“For what?”

“For Buffy.”

Angel smiled, shaking his head slowly. He chuckled softly. “How do you know she even wants you anymore? She left you!”

“I can bloody see that!” Spike added sarcastically. “I’m going to, try. I need to make things right. Let her know that I’m sorry. That I still-”

When he stopped himself suddenly, Angel stepped forward holding out the hand that held the paper. “Here.”

“What this, then?” Spike raised a dark brow in question, reaching out to grab the object. He opened it to reveal a phone number written down in a very messy handwriting.

“The number where Cordy’s staying. She said you could reach her there, since her cell phone had been in her mother’s name, and was shut off a few hours ago.” Angel explained, gesturing with his hand.

Spike looked up at him in confusion, realizing the choice that only he could make.

Fight for Buffy, and what he really wanted. Or give Cordy what she wanted because he felt guilty for not loving her.

Angel seemed to know what he was thinking. Shrugging in what resembled indifference, he waved his hand about the space between them. “It’s your choice.”

Spike nodded in understanding, looking down at the number thoughtfully. When he actually thought about what his life would be like in both situations, the choice didn’t seem that difficult. If he let Buffy go, flew to Las Vegas, and married Cordy, he would be forever stuck in a situation of being with someone he really held nothing but a deep sense of respect for. He would never know what growing old with the person you loved the most would feel like. If he instead caught the next flight out to New York, caught up with Buffy, and try to somehow make everything up to her, he might have a chance of actually being happy.

When the blonde man looked up again a split second later, Angel knew he had made the right decision. He nodded. “Look, the next flight to New York leaves in forty minutes. She’ll be on that same flight.”

Spike frowned. “Thought you said she left ‘some time ago’?”

Angel shrugged, grinning. “I lied.”

Spike chuckled. “Yep, you really are still a dick, aren’t you mate?”

“You better get going if you’re going to make it to L.A. in time.” Angel pointed out, choosing to ignore the blonde’s last comment. “Give Cordy a call though. Don’t let her wait on a husband that’s never gonna show.”

Spike flinched at that. “I never meant to hurt either of them.”

“I know that.” Angel reasoned. “We all make mistakes. Sometimes forgiveness takes a while.”

Spike understood his pointed words, and nodded.

“‘Sides.” Angel continued. “Cordy’s a fighter. She’ll get over it. Now get outta here, man.”

Spike grinned, turning to go quickly. He stopped in the doorway though, and turned halfway back around. “And Liam? You’ve been forgiven for a long time, so quit the bleedin’ brooding act, yeah?”

Angel huffed, feigning offense. “Get the hell outta here, and get your girl, you ass!”

Spike chuckled as he ran from the house.


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Chapter 34: Pieces of You and Me

The earsplitting sound of a very loud horn reverberated over the freeway leading into the main parking lot of LAX. Cars were lined up for close to a mile, drivers laying on their horns, irritate beyond belief. The sounds of planes taking off in the distance echoed above, while the yelling of overly amped drivers carried on.

Having been stuck in the same spot for nearly five minutes, Spike was not immune to the affects that being stuck in horrendous traffic can have on a person.

“Son of a bitch!” He growled, slamming his fists on the wheel angrily. “Come on. Move your soddin’ ass, grandma!”

Reaching blindly for his cell phone that had somehow went from his duster pocket to the passenger seat, Spike used his other hand to grab at the folded piece of paper that he had shoved into his pants pocket earlier. Pulling it out roughly, he flipped the top of his phone up with his thumb, looking at the number scribbled down before him. Quickly he punched in the series of numbers and pressed the ‘send’ button, raising the phone to his ear.

It rang several times while he shouted at the cars in front of him, before he gave up on the waiting and turned the car off. He hurriedly opened the door, threw off his duster, and made a sprint toward the airport entrance, all the while keeping the phone up to his ear.

He was politely shoving people out of his way, excusing himself in the nicest way he could while still maintaining a steady stride toward the doors. He was throwing open one of the glass doors when the incessant ringing stopped the click signaling somebody had come on the line.

His stride never faulted as he spoke. “Cordelia, pet, don’t speak. Just listen, okay?” His voice was gravelly, having become out of breath from the never-ending excretion he was in the middle of. “I-I know you still want to get hitched. Angel told me what you spilled to Buffy. I’m not mad; I’m not. She’s gone off to catch the next buggerin’ flight to New York, but I’m not mad.

“I understand you love me, Cordy. Above all else I can understand being in love. Been in love nearly my whole bloody life. But not with you, pet.” He wasn’t sure why he paused then, but he felt he owed it to the brunette somehow, since he had just broken her heart not ten hours ago.

Rounding a corner at full speed, he almost slid on his ass from the recently waxed floors and the unsportsmanlike bottoms of his Doc Martens. Pushing through the crowd, he breathed deep, letting the tension in his body dissolve a little. He stopped when he came to the lists of departure times. Finding the right one, he cursed loudly, realizing that the flight left in five minutes.

Racing off in the direction of the terminal, Spike turned his attention back to the one-sided conversation he was having on the phone.

“I love Buffy. I always have. Wouldn’t be chasing ’er half way ‘round the bleedin’ world, if I didn’t.” He sighed loudly, coming to an abrupt stop when the old woman in front of him stopped to check her purse for something. “Jesus Bloody Christ!”

When the old lady turned around and glared at him, he had the decency to look sorry.

“Wasn’t swearin’ at you, m’am.” He smiled goofily. He heard shuffling on the line, and thought that maybe Cordy was laughing at him. Moving to go around the woman, he switched ears, looking frantically around, wanting to spot Buffy. When he didn’t he continued forward.

“And I know that I told you I’d marry you if you still wanted me.” Spike spoke softly, letting his guilt come through. He waited a moment, then chuckled bitterly “Funny thing making your own choices is, huh, pet?”

Silence was all that answered him.

“I can’t marry you, Cordy.” He confessed softly, seriousness in his voice. “And I need to stop this bloody plane from takin’ away the only good thing I have ever known.”

He ran with everything he had, breathing hard, trying to keep the words flowing from his lips. “You’ll find somebody to love you like you should be loved. But I already have. And before she leaves to go back to her life, I have to let her know that I’m sorry for hurting her. And for not trusting in her love back in New York. And for giving up the way I have so many bloody times when it came to us. I have to try to make this work. Even if nothing ever comes from it. Even if she still leaves me here alone.”

When he reached the terminal gate, he stopped dead in his tracks. The doors had already be shut, the seats nearby were empty, and the hop faded from his weary body.

“No.” He breathed to no one but himself. “No! Son of a fuckin’ bitch!”

A breathe hitched on the other end of the phone, and Spike looked down at his free hand, finding it shaking violently. “Cordy? You still there, pet?”

Silence.

“I missed it, Cor.” He told her, deep misery in his voice. He sounded as though he couldn’t really believe it himself. “I missed the bloody plane.”

She stayed silent however, and that somehow seemed to further his anguish. “Cordelia, are you there?”

He heard sniffling on the other end, and realized that she was crying. Great, could this day get any bloody worse?

“You love me?” A meek voice came across the line.

It only took him a split second to recognize that voice. “Buffy?”

It was quiet then, and he started to worry he’d imagined it all. “Buffy, luv? Buffy, are you there?”

“I’m here.” She told him, with conviction in her tear-laced voice.

“Oh, God, pet.” Spike breathed, relieved. “You’re really there. I thought that I just made m’self believe it.”

She sniffled again in response.

“Oh, luv, please don’t cry. You know I can’t stand it.”

“I know.” She replied.

“Where are you? I thought you were on your way to New York.” Spike asked, running a shaky hand through his hair.

“I was.” She confirmed. Spike could almost see her head nodding.

“Where are you now?” He needed to know.

“I’m here.”

~*~*~*~

It took a moment for him to realize that her voice wasn’t coming from the phone, but from behind him. Turning slowly, he raised his head slowly. His restless blue eyes softened instantly when he saw her standing there, her bags at her feet. She had a soft smile on her pretty face, her long hair swept up in a messy pony tail as though she had done it on her way out the door. Her bright hazel eyes were filled to the brim with unshed tears, and she looked absolutely beautiful to his hungry gaze.

He ran to her then, closing his phone on the way and shoving it into his pocket. She waited there from him to reach her, the smile growing wider with his every step. When he reached, he didn’t take her in his arms right away, but stopped to gaze down at her with something akin to awe in his eyes. He narrowed his eyes after a moment.

“And Cordelia?” He wondered, brow rising slowly.

Buffy just grinned, stepping closer to him. “Sorry, Cordelia never wanted to get back together. I just needed to know that you would have chosen this when faced with the possibility of losing me for good.”

Spike nodded, understanding. “”There as no choice. It was always you, Buffy.”

He caressed her face lovingly. Blue eyes held her own, and he poured out his soul.

“I know I haven’t been the greatest person these last few weeks, but I need you to know that I’m sor-”

She hushed him when she placed a finger to his lips. “It’s okay. You said it all before. When you thought it was Cordy.”

He took her hand gently in his own, kissing it softly before pulling it away from his face and entwining their fingers. “Well, now I’m saying it to you.”

“I forgive you.”

“Just like that?” Spike wondered, rubbing his thumb on the back of her hand affectionately.

She nodded, not needing to even think about it, she reached for his other hand, pulling him closer. “But that doesn’t matter right now.”

Spike raised a dark brow in question. “It doesn’t?”

She smiled again, giving him a coy look. “Can’t we just skip that part for now? I mean, you have so much making up to do. I think you should get started pretty soon. As in now.”

Spike smirked back at her. “Is that so?”

“Yep.” She told him, popping her ‘p.’ “And in case you didn’t know, that was code for ‘kiss me now.’

Spike smiled, before doing just that.

~*~*~*~

His hands were trembling, he noticed for the millionth time that night, and he tried to fit the key into the lock of his front door. She was behind him, waiting patiently, but feeling like her skin might fall off if he didn’t touch her soon.

As soon as the door was unlocked, and they were inside, Spike reached for her. She went willingly into his arms, gasping when he lifted her off her feet, and proceeded up stairs to his bedroom.

She pressed her lips to his hungrily and they fell on the bed together, kisses never ceasing. His hands were everywhere at once it seemed, and Buffy couldn’t get enough of him. She ran her hands down his chest, grabbing at the offending material of his t-shirt, suppressing the urge to rip it in two.

When he suddenly pulled away, she opened her eyes in confusion. “What? Where’re you going, mister?”

He smiled lovingly down at her, letting his hands ghost down her arms in the barest of touches. “What’s gonna happen, luv? Where do we go from here?”

She smiled saucily up at him. “Well I know it’s been nearly twenty-four hours, Spike, but you haven’t forgotten how it’s done already, have you?”

He chuckled at her, licking his lips teasingly. “Oh, pet, I haven’t forgotten all those places that make you scream.”

She leant up to continue their kiss, but he pulled back again. “What’s gonna happen now, Buffy?”

She laid her head back down on the pillow beneath her, never breaking eye contact. “Spike-”

“I’m thinkin’ New York’s a nice place this time of the year.” He smiled.

She reeled back, surprised.

“You’re moving to New York?” She asked, incredulously.

He nodded, letting his gaze fall lower on her body, his hands resuming their exploration. He pushed the straps of her tank top down, head falling forward to place gently, loving kisses along her soft skin, as his tongue peeping out to taste the salt of her flesh. His left hand cupped a breast and massaged it roughly, pinching the nipple through the fabric of her shirt.

Buffy closed her eyes, gasping at the feel of him. She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders, arching into him. She was having trouble forming words as her brain slowly turned to mush.

“B-but why would…oh, mmm…you move…mmm, Spike…to N-New York…Feels so good…when I’m moving…Spike…here?” She finally got the whole thing out, and felt proud of yourself. Being able to think with Spike doing those delicious things to her was a feat in itself.

He lifted his head then, surprise overtaking his features. “You’re moving back here?”

She looked up at him shyly. “W-well, I thought I’d give ‘Sunnydale U’ a try, ya know? I mean, when I was a kid, I always thought we’d all end up there together anyway. Maybe I can even get Fred to transfer too. She’s always wanted to see California.”

Spike smiled, delighted beyond words. He ran his fingertips down the side of her face in awe. “I love you, Buffy. Can’t remember a time when I didn’t love you.”

“What about the time you dumped me for Dru?” She quipped, feigning hurt.

Spike rolled his eyes. “I was bloody eleven years old! Can’t possibly hold me responsible for something I didn’t know anything about, now can you, pet?”

“Yeah, well, you burned me pretty bad. I’m afraid you may have severely affected my ability to commit to anyone else for the rest of m’life.”

Spike scoffed. “That works out nicely, then. Since the only person you’ll ever being committing to, is me.”

She laughed. “I love you, William.”

“Love you too, Buffy.”

That seemed to be enough for the both of them then, and they came together again. Every kiss, every touch, every word whispered in passion was intended to convey just how much they meant to each other. It was the act of love, preformed with the deepest love either of them had ever known, and when their bodies joined as one once more, the world melted away. And when they came together in a rush of pleasure, Buffy knew she wasn’t incomplete any longer, knowing instinctively that he felt the same. Like a puzzle full of itty bitty pieces of a larger picture, her life joined with his, and everything came together.

Just the way it was meant to.

~*~*~*~


Well, just the epilogue to go then ;) Should be up in a couple of days. Maybe even tomorrow, if I have the time;) Please review!!