Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer = not mine. Suing would be mean and make me cry. Please don’t do it.

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*** *** ***

It was supposed to be a magical night. She’d had it all planned out in her mind, how it was going to be beautiful, and how afterwards he’d hold her and tell her he loved her.

And then, they were going to live happily ever after.

Instead she felt belittled, dirty, and humiliated.

And she didn’t know what had happened to her underwear.

She squirmed uncomfortably on her front porch, knowing she should go inside but too terrified to face her mother. Would she be able to tell from just a look what Buffy had been doing when she’d claimed to have been at the library studying?

Did moms have some sort of alarm for that?

“Oi, Summers, why so glum? Break a nail?”

Oh god… Buffy groaned internally, and silently asked God what she’d done to deserve this. This was the worst day of her life, and now she had to deal with him?

She forced a smile as she looked up at her neighbor, the aptly named Spike Pratt. Well, at least the “Pratt” part. Or maybe the “Spike,” too, if the giggles around the school were to be believed. She chose not to go down that mental road.

“Go away, Spike. I’m not in the mood for you today.” She turned her head, sticking her nose in the air.

“Aww, what’s the matter, princess? Did you have a lovers’ quarrel with your big hunk of forehead?” Spike sneered.

Buffy wasn’t going to cry. She wasn’t. Not in front of him.

She burst into tears.

“Oh, bollocks,” Spike muttered under his breath, watching Buffy for a moment. He’d known the girl since he and his uncle had moved in next door, and never once had he seen her in tears. Angry, haughty, incredibly bitchy, sure. But never crying.

Spike had always taken great pleasure in tormenting her. It was so easy, and she always gave back as good as she got. But he’d never made her cry…

He sighed and sat beside her, one silver-ringed hand reaching out to pat her back before he pulled it away and decided he didn’t want to go that far. “Sorry, Summers. I didn’t realize I was hitting the mark there.”

“Just go away, Spike. I so don’t need you mocking me.”

“I’m not gonna mock you.”

“You always mock me.”

“Then I’m calling a temporary cease fire. Even I’m not enough of a bastard to poke fun at someone who’s just had her heart broken.”

Buffy turned towards him and wiped her eyes. Spike knew about getting your heart broken? Spike had a heart?

“Whatever it is, ducks, it’ll turn out all right. You’re one of those perfect, smiley couples. You’ll be snogging in the cafeteria come Monday.”

“I’m bad in bed.”

Spike coughed, her blurted declaration taking him completely and totally by surprise. He’d expected something like she’d spilled her soda pop on his letter jacket. Not…that. “You…you are?” he asked, having no idea what else to say.

“Yeah,” Buffy said, sniffling. She didn’t know why she was telling him this. It was humiliating and she was revealing it to her mortal enemy.

“I don’t see how that could be possible, hot lil’ thing like you.”

Buffy turned towards him her eyes wide. “Huh?”

“Oh, come on, Summers. You’ve gotta know you’re hot.”

“But you… You, y’know, hate me...”

“Well, of course. I loathe you. But I’m not blind.”

Buffy blushed and turned away from him. This was not how things were supposed to go with Spike. They snarked, they hated, they yelled at each other from across the lawn.

They didn’t do…well, whatever they were doing now.

Although when she was being honest with herself, Spike wasn’t too bad to look at either. Sure, he had that whole stupid punk thing going on and his hair was a major disaster, but he did have pretty eyes. And nice cheekbones. And she’d seen him shirtless before, so she knew he must work out or something.

Suddenly, she was getting an idea. An insane, mindless idea born of desperation. An idea she should just kick out of her brain now before she ever, ever spoke it out loud.

“Teach me how to have sex.”

Spike had to grab the step to keep from falling forward onto the lawn. “What?”

Buffy knew if she had any sense at all, she would’ve run into her house and hidden away for days. But she was desperate, and right now, she wasn’t seeing any other way. Angel didn’t want her because she wasn’t good in bed. So if she was good in bed, then he’d want her again. And how else could she get good in bed if someone didn’t teach her?

“Teach me how to have sex,” she said, more confident this time. “I mean, I know you know how. I’ve heard, like, all the other cheerleaders talk about it.”

Spike smirked. “Yeah? What did they say?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Ugh. I’m not telling you.”

“But you’ll ask me to fuck you.”

Buffy held out her hand. “Whoa. I didn’t say that. I asked you to teach me how to have sex.”

“And wouldn’t that entail…”

“No!” Buffy said, cutting him off. “We’ll…we’ll do it with our clothes on.”

Spike had always thought Buffy was a little…off. But he’d never realized she was quite this insane. “You want me to have sex with you with my clothes on?”

“No actual sex,” Buffy said. “Just…y’know…show me what to do.”

Spike looked around the yard. “Is this a joke? Are you filming me for some sort of humiliation later?”

“Believe me, no. I’d be way more humiliated than you.”

“Then you’re serious.”

“Completely.”

“I… No way,” Spike said, shaking his head. This wasn’t a good idea. As a matter of fact, this was probably the mother of all bad ideas. As hot as Buffy Summers was, he didn’t want to fake shag her. Especially so she could please that wanker she was all moony-eyed over.

“Spike, please. I wouldn’t be asking you this if I didn’t really, really need your help. I love him. I can’t lose him because of this, okay?”

Spike wanted to tell her Angel was a worthless git who wasn’t even good enough for her anyway, and that if he didn’t know how to make her wild in bed, then he was the one who needed some sex pointers.

He ran his hand through his pale white hair, ruffling the spikes. “So…uh…you wanna do this now?”

“What?! No! I’ll… I’m free tomorrow.”

This was the part where he told her her plan was crazy and walked away before they both did something they’d regret. She was just upset after what happened with the gigantic wanker, and she wasn’t thinking clearly.

“It’s Sunday, so I’ll be up around two. My uncle’s out of town again, so you can just come by. We’ll have privacy.”

“Okay.” Buffy blushed a little. “Thanks. I…I know we don’t really get along, so, well…I appreciate you doing this.”

“Yeah, well, I…yeah.”

Buffy looked down. “So… This is a little awkward now.”

“Yeah, I…” Spike stood up. “I’m gonna go.”

“Right. I’ll, you know, see you tomorrow.”

Buffy watched Spike jog back over to his house and wondered what the hell she had just done. She hated Spike. She’d hated him since the moment he’d first swaggered out of that house and sneered at her. What sort of fifteen year old sneered anyway?

And he hadn’t changed a bit either. Three years later and he was still as much of an asshole as he’d been when he’d first moved to the States with his uncle. He had horrible, horrible fashion sense, no filter on his mouth, and was a total man-slut.

Which made him the perfect person to help her carry out this crazy scheme.

She didn’t want to do it. She couldn’t stand the guy, and the idea of touching him – even controlled touching – was so not something she wanted to do.

“It’s for Angel,” she told herself. “You have to do this so Angel will be happy.”

Because if she looked at it like that, it made complete sense.

Not sure if she felt better or worse, Buffy went back into her house.

*** *** ***

What exactly did one wear to have fake sex?

Buffy stared at her closet, at a complete loss when it came to the answer to that question. If she wore something too sexy, then it would be too much like an actual date and not a, well, study date. But if she wore something too frumpy, then Spike might tell her he’d changed his mind.

She finally decided on jeans and a cute top with a bit of a scoop neck but nothing too revealing. She checked herself out in the mirror, deciding the outfit would do.

Buffy called out a good-bye to her mom before jogging outside and over to Spike’s house, immediately knocking on the backdoor. She wasn’t going to give herself time to chicken out.

“You’re doing this for Angel,” she reminded herself for what had to be the thousandth time since she’d come up with this plan. “You love him too much to leave him disappointed.” She’d just have to keep herself focused completely on Angel.

The door opened, and she saw Spike, leaning against the jamb. His hair was a mess, his shirt was off, and his worn, black jeans were slung low on his hips.

“’Lo, pet. Ready to learn how to please a man?”

He ran his tongue over his teeth and smirked at her, and Buffy’s eyes grew impossibly large.

“Pleaseputashirtonnow!”

Spike cocked an eyebrow. “Mind repeating that in English, luv?”

Buffy took a deep breath and got a handle on herself. This was Spike. Icky, nasty Spike. Who she was going to have fake sex with. Right.

“Put a shirt on. I’m not even going to be able to fake being into it if I have to look at your pale self.”

Spike decided to give in, but only because he had already seen her reaction. He’d put his shirt on – and he knew damn good and well she’d be taking it back off of him. “Yeah, all right. Come on up to my room and I’ll put one on before we get started.”

“Your room?” Buffy asked, her voice squeaking. “We’re going to your room?”

“Well, yeah. I think kitchen sex is a more advanced lesson, luv.”

“Kitchen…” Buffy shook her head. She had to stop doing…whatever it was she was doing. It was time to be all business. “Fine, we’ll go to your bedroom. But stop calling me ‘luv.’ I don’t like it.”

Spike bit back a smirk. Sure she didn’t… “Whatever you say, Summers. This way.”

Buffy followed Spike further into the house, realizing in the three years she’d lived next door to him, she’d never seen past the door. He led her upstairs, into a room that, had she been told to pick his room out of a line up, it would’ve been the one she chose.

It was a mess, his ugly punk clothes thrown all over the floor. His bed was rumbled, a black comforter wadded up in the middle. The walls were covered in posters for bands Buffy wouldn’t listen to if someone paid her, and several haphazard stacks of CD’s were in front of his stereo.

“Okay, I am so not getting on that bed. It looks…icky.”

“Don’t worry, Summers. I’ve washed the sheets since the last time I had a bird in here.”

“Oh, gee. Now I feel all better.”

Spike picked up a black t-shirt that was draped over his television and slipped it on. “Look, are we doing this or not? I have better things I could be doing than taking pity on almost-virgins.”

Buffy glared at him, her nostrils flaring, and Spike had to contain his smirk. He loved it when she got all angry… “Oh, we’re doing this,” she snapped.

He moved closer to her and smiled a slow, dangerous smile. “Then get on the bed.”

For a moment, Buffy hesitated. Did she really want to do this? As much as she wanted to please Angel, this was a pretty desperate attempt at getting her boyfriend back.

Yes, it was desperate, but she loved Angel…

She smoothed the blanket over the bed before she lay back on the pillows. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

“Lie back and think of England.”

Buffy turned her head. “Huh?”

Spike suppressed a smirk. “You’re stiff as a board, Summers.”

“Well, I’m nervous,” Buffy admitted.

“Lesson the first. You can’t be nervous.”

“But how can I not be nervous! It’s…” She lowered her voice down to a whisper. “It’s sex.”

“We’re gonna have sex?” Spike asked with a cocked eyebrow.

“No! Not us! I just mean…y’know…when I get Angel back…we’ll have sex.”

Spike swaggered over to the bed and sat down at the edge, the look on his face putting butterflies in Buffy’s stomach. She decided it was all the nerves.

“It’s all about the passion, pet. When you want someone so bad you feel like you’ll die if you don’t have them.” He smirked and ghosted his fingertips against her denim-covered hip.

“A…Angel and I have passion,” Buffy said, her voice trembling.

“Yeah?” Spike crawled over her, bracing himself on his hands. “Then why are you with me?”

Suddenly, Spike was kissing her, his tongue pushing into her mouth before Buffy even had a chance to realize what was happening. He thrust his hips into hers, grinding against her, and Buffy’s eyes grew wide.

Spike hadn’t really known what he was going to do when Buffy came over today. He’d been deciding how to handle this right up to the moment he’d had her in his bedroom. Then, he’d made up his decision.

He was gonna go for it…

He didn’t like the chit. Could barely stand her, really. But she was a hot little number, and if that poofter Angel couldn’t appreciate her in bed, well, Spike decided he wasn’t going to pass up the chance.

“Kiss me back, pet. Don’t just lie there. C’mon, show me what you got.”

Don’t just lie there… That had been exactly what Angel had accused her of, and the reminder of it made Buffy angry. Spike didn’t think she could show passion either, huh? She’d show him…

She grabbed the back of his head, tangling her fingers in his bleached hair as she pushed him harder against her mouth. Her legs went around his hips, and she ground against him, giving him a taste of what this would be if it were more than a “lesson.”

Spike nipped at her bottom lip, forgetting where he was and what he was doing. All he knew was he had a goddess writhing beneath him and his cock was rock hard in his jeans.

Buffy broke away from his mouth and moaned, loudly, and added a hip shimmy to her thrust.

Spike didn’t realize what was happening until he was coming in his pants.

He pulled away and looked down at her, shock on his face. Buffy stared at him, her eyes huge, before her mouth set in a line.

He waited for her response; he got it when she slapped him.

Spike jumped off the bed. “What the hell was that for?”

“You…you… Ew, Spike!”

“You were grindin’ against me!” Spike yelled. “I’m sorry, but I’ve got a penis – you wriggle that hot lil’ body of yours against it, it’s gonna go off.”

She was breathing heavily, disheveled, and Spike decided that was totally worth getting slapped in the face and having a mess in his pants. She’d been into that, too…

He stuck his thumbs into his belt loops and grinned smugly at her. “Well, I’d say you passed your first lesson, pet. You’ve mastered the missionary position.”

Buffy gasped, outrage and shock on her face before she fled the room.

“You asked me to do it!” Spike yelled after her, but he only heard the door slam in response.

“Bloody bitch,” Spike grumbled, though he couldn’t bring himself to be overly angry at her. He’d had one hell of an orgasm.

Without even taking off his pants. Damn…

So maybe irritating chit extraordinaire Buffy Summers was good for something anyway. If she’d made him feel that way just wiggling around beneath him, then how would it be if they were actually having sex?

Oh, he wanted to know. He had to know.

He was going to know.

A grin spread across Spike’s face. She’d run off now, but she’d be back. And when she was…

He was going to seduce her.

Buffy had spent all day Sunday trying to wrap her brain around what had happened with Spike. She’d known there was a definite sexual nature to what she’d proposed – after all, he was teaching her about sex. However, she’d been convinced that said “teaching” could happen in a much more professional manner.

Looking back on it, she really should’ve known better when it came to Spike. He was one of the biggest horndogs she’d ever known.

She’d just assumed since he hated her, he wouldn’t be so quick to get all…thrusty.

But it was Monday now, and Buffy had decided she was just going to put the whole weekend behind her. She’d give Angel a few days, then grovel for a second chance, and put a little more into it this time. She could work on her porn star moan or something.

And as for Spike, well, he’d had his…fun. He’d go back to hating her, she’d keep right on hating him, and everything would be like it was before. Besides, if he told anyone what had happened, she’d just deny it. It wasn’t like anyone would believe a loser like him anyway. No big.

Buffy held her head up high as she walked towards the front of the school, refusing to be humiliated for anything that had happened to her that weekend. She was going to be strong.

She crumbled as soon as she got into the building.

Angel and his friends were standing by the first row of lockers, and Buffy watched as they turned towards her. Immediately, they started laughing, and she didn’t have to question why.

So much for not being humiliated.

And then, to make matters even worse, Miss Most Likely to Contract an STD herself, Harmony Kendall, sashayed her way up to Angel and wrapped herself around his arm like a balloon-breasted boa constrictor. He smiled at her and started to lean in for a kiss.

Buffy turned and ran from the school, any resolve she had to put the weekend behind her going out the proverbial window. She should’ve faked sick and stayed home.

She should’ve faked dead and stayed home…

When she turned a corner and ran smack into Spike, that thought was only confirmed.

“Don’t say a word,” she growled as she tried to get past him, only to have Spike grab her arm. “And let me go!”

“Hey, slow down, pet,” he said, his voice more soothing than she wanted it to be. “What’s wrong?”

“Why do you care?” Buffy snapped, wrenching her arm free from his grasp.

He shrugged. “Just being neighborly.”

“Oh, cut the bullshit, Spike. Just…just get it out of your system, all right?”

He frowned, his brow wrinkling in confusion. “Get what out of my system?”

“Mock me,” Buffy replied, holding her arms out. “Go on, make fun of me for what happened this weekend. I know you want to.”

Spike looked around, making sure no one was too close to them before he leaned in and hissed. “Would you keep it down about that? I don’t need anyone knowing I shot off in my jeans after three minutes of dry humping, all right? It’ll kill my rep.”

Buffy gaped for a moment, blinking rapidly. “Huh?”

“That wasn’t exactly the most shining moment of my life, Summers,” he said, still keeping his voice low. “Fuck, no wonder you called the whole thing off. Who’d want to learn about sex from someone as pathetic as that?” He sighed and looked down at the ground. “I really wanted to help you, too. I know I’ve been a jerk to you in the past, but as we’ve started growing up, I’ve felt real bad about it, and well… I thought maybe this was my chance to make it up to you. But I just bollixed it all up.”

“Huh?” Buffy asked again. This was Spike? He couldn’t be serious. Really, really couldn’t be serious.

And yet he looked so much like a kicked puppy…

“You were so upset yesterday,” he continued. “I felt just awful. Here you were trusting me with something so personal, and I acted like a git.” He looked at her again, his blue eyes wide. “Is…is there any way you can forgive me, Buffy?”

Buffy bit her lip, blushing slightly as she thought about what he’d just said. He seemed sincere. And she knew enough about sex to know guys were always bragging about stamina, so she supposed that would’ve been fairly embarrassing for him. “It…it’s okay,” she said, putting her hand against his forearm.

“No it’s not,” Spike insisted with a small pout. “I’ve let you down.”

Buffy sighed. “It was a dumb plan anyway. Angel doesn’t even want me anymore, so it would’ve been a waste of time. I…I just saw him with Harmony Kendall.” Buffy wrinkled her nose in distaste.

“Which would explain her fleeing the building,” Spike thought. Suddenly, a new plan formed in his mind, and he had to keep from grinning at the sheer brilliance of it. “Harmony’s not all that, luv. I mean, sure, she’s got amazing tits and can suck cock like a pro, but after a while, she gets pretty boring. I mean, she only really knows the one position.”

Buffy winced. “That’s better that I’ve got going for me.”

“I…I could teach you more,” Spike said. “I mean, if you were willing to give me a second chance. I promise I wouldn’t let you down again.”

“It wouldn’t matter. I sucked. Or didn’t, technically, which was probably part of the problem… But either way, he’s not even going to think about wanting me again.”

Spike was quiet for a moment, as if this idea was just now coming to him. “You know…” He stopped and shook his head. “No. You won’t go for it.”

“Go for what?” Buffy asked. Her curiosity was obviously piqued, and again, Spike had to fight from grinning. He had her…

“It’s stupid. You don’t want to hear it.”

“Yes, I do,” Buffy insisted.

“Well, men…we aren’t really all that difficult. Nothing makes us want something more than seeing someone else has it.”

Buffy frowned. “I’m not following.”

“I was thinking maybe I could, you know, pretend to be your boyfriend. Then, when Angel sees you with someone else, he’ll start going crazy with wanting you back. And in the meantime, I’ll teach you how to be bloody amazing in bed, and everything will be fine in Bangel land again.”

Buffy gaped, her brain trying to wrap itself around what he’d just said. Pretend to date Spike so all would be well in… “What land?” she asked.

“Oh, Bangel. It’s what everyone calls you two behind your back, being the inseparable couple you’ve always been. You know, like Brangelina, TomKat… Really, you’ve never heard it?”

Buffy shook her head. “Uh uh.”

“Yeah, well, it’s lame anyway.” He sighed. “Like this whole plan. I should just go.”

Spike turned and walked away, his back to her when he felt her grab his arm. Knowing she couldn’t see him now, he did smirk. “Spike, wait. I… You’d really be willing to do that to help me?”

He let the smirk fall and replaced it with his well-practiced vulnerable expression as he turned to look at her again. “If it would help you, yeah. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I hate to think of the king and queen of the high school being separated. What, with prom so close and everything… It just doesn’t seem right.”

“I… I never knew you cared.”

“High school’s all about the status quo, Buffy. I mean, what if I suddenly showed up in button-down shirts and khakis and went a whole week without detention?”

“That would be...” She frowned. “Okay, I think I get your point.”

“So do you want to do this?”

Spike watched her chew on her bottom lip as she contemplated this addition to their agreement and had to fight the urge to kiss her. As hot as Buffy was angry, he actually wanted her agreeable for once – and he knew a kiss would be a sure-fire way to get him slapped again.

“Do you really think this is a good way to Angel back?”

Her voice was so small when she asked her question that Spike almost felt bad for being so manipulative.

Almost.

He smiled slowly. “It’ll work like a charm, pet. I promise you.”

“No more of what happened Sunday,” Buffy said, pointing an accusatory finger at Spike.

Spike held up his hands. “’Course not.”

“We’re gonna have to keep all the sex ed completely professional.”

Spike was amazed he was able to keep from guffawing at that. And the funniest thing was how serious the chit’s tone was. “Of course. Sunday was an accident, pet. I’ll respect your boundaries from now on.”

Like hell he would…

“As a matter of fact, I don’t think there should be any touching at all,” she continued. “Well except for at school, since we gotta play up the whole ‘couple’ thing, but nowhere else.”

Was she trying to make him laugh? Because really, the air quotes she put around “couple” almost sent him into hysterics.

Although her expression told him she was still completely serious, which gave Spike quite a dilemma. How exactly did you teach someone about sex without touching?

Not that there really wouldn’t be touching. There would be lots of touching. But he was going to play her game for a while, get her nice and comfortable around him.

And then he’d shag her until she didn’t even remember that wanker’s name.

“No touching unless we’re at school. Got it. Only then, y’know, I’m gonna have to touch you a lot. To make sure Angel gets good and jealous, of course.”

She started worrying that bottom lip of hers again, and Spike suppressed a moan, seriously debating saying to hell with first period and going home to have a wank. What was wrong with Angel, passing up a chance to teach a woman as delicious as this one all about pleasures of the flesh?

It was probably because he didn’t know what he was doing either, Spike reckoned. Git.

“Okay. I guess you have a point there.” She pointed her finger at him again. “But I can call this off at any time I want, got it?”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way. Don’t want to force you.”

“Good. Then we’ll try this.” She met him firmly in the eye for the first time since they’d started this conversation. “But no more funny business from you.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Summers.”

“Good. Then it’s all settled.”

Spike leaned in, his warm breath making goosebumps erupt on Buffy’s skin. “Seal the deal with a kiss.”

Buffy glanced around. “But… Angel isn’t here.”

“It’ll be too obvious if we only kiss around Angel. Gotta let it get to him by word of mouth first – get him thinkin’ about it.”

“Oh…okay,” Buffy gave in. Spike did seem to know what he was talking about…

He leaned in further, his lips inches from her as he said, his voice low and hot, “Remember, pet – we’ve gotta sell it.”

Spike didn’t give her a chance to respond. He crushed his lips against hers, pushed his tongue into her mouth, and grabbed two handfuls of her firm ass.

Buffy squeaked, but then let herself relax. This was just acting, like the time in junior high when she’d had to kiss that Jonathan kid for the school play.

Just acting…

She slid her arms through Spike’s, her hands sneaking up his back until she found his surprisingly soft bleached locks. He made a low rumble of pleasure in the back of his throat, and Buffy closed her eyes and sighed softly against him.

Suddenly, he pulled away, and Buffy started to protest before she remembered who they were. She glanced around, noticing they’d commanded the attention of everyone outside the school, and ducked her head, blushing.

Spike leaned in, pretending to be kissing her cheek as he whispered, “That oughta start a few rumors.”

“Yeah, I’m sure I will,” Buffy replied, not able to look at him.

He took her hand, stroking her soft skin with his thumb. “Ready to go to class?”

She nodded, her cheeks an alluring shade of pink.

Spike grinned broadly as he walked hand-in-hand into the school. Buffy Summers was so his…

He decided not to contemplated why he cared.

Buffy sat down at her usual cafeteria table, glancing around for any sign of bleached hair. They had decided they’d sit together for a couple minutes at lunch, just long enough to get the rumor mill turning, and the thought of it had Buffy’s stomach in knots. What were people going to say when they saw her sitting with Spike?

She really, really hoped his jealousy plan was on the money. Otherwise, she might end up irrevocably ruining her reputation for no good reason at all.

She jumped when she felt someone sit beside her, only to relax when she saw it was only her best friend, Willow Rosenberg. Their other friend, Xander Harris, and his girlfriend, Anya Jenkins, slid into the booth across from them. “Sheesh, Buffster, what has you all jumpy?” Xander asked. “You just about flew out of the booth when Willow sat down.”

“Nothing, I’m fine. Just fine. And dandy. Fine and dandy.”

Willow frowned and turned towards Buffy. “Are you sure? Because that didn’t sound overly convincing.”

Buffy sighed. She might as well let her friends know what was really going on before…

“Hey there, cutie? Miss me?”

It was too late, because suddenly, Spike was there beside her, his arm around her and his lips on hers. Buffy swore she could actually hear her friends’ jaws hitting the cafeteria table.

“Uh huh,” Buffy replied, unable to keep herself from blushing. She was positive every eye in the room was on her, and truthfully, she wasn’t being paranoid.

“I’m sorry I can’t sit with you longer. Promised Clem I’d let him copy my homework before seventh period. But I’m still driving you home after school, right?”

“Uh huh,” Buffy said again.

“Good.” Spike kissed her quickly before standing up. “I’ll see you this afternoon, baby.”

Buffy turned to her friends once Spike was gone, blushing more as Willow and Xander stared, completely dumbfounded.

Anya was inspecting her nails.

“Look, I know what you’re all thinking…”

“Personally, I’m thinking it’s about time you and Spike did something about all that sexual tension. It’s been driving me up the friggin’ wall for months now.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “Okay, I knew what you were all thinking except for Anya.” She leaned in and whispered so no one but the people at her table could hear. “Spike and I aren’t really dating, all right?”

“Then why were you making with the smoochies?” Willow asked in a hissed whisper. “And what happened to Angel? I’m your best friend! I should know this already! What…what about…y’know…”

“Angel and I broke up this weekend,” Buffy said, knowing what Willow was referring to but not willing to give any further details at the moment. “But Spike’s helping me get him back.”

“By macking on you in the lunch room?” Xander asked.

“He’s going to help me make Angel jealous,” Buffy explained, deciding to leave it at that and not elaborate further on her deal with Spike. She couldn’t bring herself to lie to her friends completely about dating Spike, but she was also too embarrassed to tell them about what had happened between her and Angel.

“That is the single stupidest thing I have ever heard,” Anya announced, flopping against the back of the booth. “And that’s saying a lot. I have to spend all day listening to Xander.”

“Hey!” Xander protested. “But she does sort of have a point. With the first part, I mean. This doesn’t sound like a good idea.”

Buffy glanced down at her tray and away from the wary eyes of her friends. “Look, I need to get Angel back, all right? And this, well, this is the way to do it.”

“I’d say you’re better off. Angel’s not very pleasantly shaped. And the two of you don’t really make a very attractive couple. He makes you look overly tiny. Personally, I think you fit better with Spike.”

“Anya!” Xander exclaimed. “What have I said to you about being polite to people who have just had their hearts broken?”

“I am being polite!” Anya replied. “I’m trying to cheer her up by telling her why she shouldn’t be so upset!”

“Ahn, that isn’t…”

Buffy held up her hand. “It’s okay, Xander. Really.” She frowned at the lumpy masses of “food” on her tray. “I don’t think I’m very hungry, though. I’m going to spend the rest of lunch in the library. Catching up on…something.”

Before any of her friends could respond, Buffy rushed out of the cafeteria.

*** *** ***

“Wow, Spike, what was that all about?”

Spike looked at the red head across from him as he took a seat at the table where he normally sat, most of his friends already gathered. “What was all what about, Vi?”

“I think she means you shoving your tongue down that cheerleader’s throat. Geez, dude, what’s your problem?”

Spike arched an eyebrow and squared his gaze at the second girl to speak. “Didn’t you try out for the cheerleading squad, Amy?”

“Only ‘cause my mom made me,” Amy replied with a snort. “Not because I wanted to get noticed by the oh so totally dreamy Captain of the football team. And speaking of, isn’t she dating…”

“No,” Spike said sharply, cutting Amy off. “She’s not. She’s with me now.”

“So perfect little Buffy Summers has lowered her standards,” snarked Faith Lehane, leaning back in her chair, her booted foot on the leg of the table. She bit into an apple, then spoke with her mouth full. “Personally, I say go, Spike. Tap that vulnerable rebound ass.”

“It’s not like that,” Spike said, although a little voice inside his head said given how he’d manipulated her into this arrangement, it was exactly like that.

“Well, I had Buffy for a lab partner once and I thought she was a very nice girl,” Clem piped up, giving his friend a thumbs up. “Good job, Spike.”

“Yeah, I think Buffy’s all right,” a small man with dark blue hair seated next to Clem said with a shrug. “She doesn’t really hang with the rest of the jock squad anyway.”

Spike smiled. “Thanks Clem, Oz.”

“Whatever,” said the man with his arm around Amy. “You bang the cheerleaders under the bleachers, Spike. You don’t make out with them in the cafeteria. That’s not what they’re for.”

“You’re an asshole, Devon,” Spike replied. “Truly, just a blot upon the male name.”

“I’m gonna have to go with Dev on this one, Spike,” Amy said. “She’s not worth it.”

Spike started to retort when he saw Buffy get up and run away from her table. He took a piece of paper out of his backpack and shoved it over to Clem. “Make sure you get this back to me before class,” he said before he got up and jogged after Buffy.

He caught up with her in the hallway before the library. “Buffy, wait,” he said, grateful when she turned around, even if she immediately glared at him.

“What do you want, Spike?”

“I saw you run out of the cafeteria. I was worried about you.”

“Well, I’m fine,” Buffy snapped.

“You don’t look fine. You look upset.”

“I am upset!” Buffy declared, throwing up her hands.

“You just said you were fine.”

“I’m…” She lowered her voice and dropped her arms back to her side. “I got dumped this weekend, Spike. That alone leads to ‘upset.’ And now my friends are getting on me for this thing with you, even when I explained to them it was just to make Angel jealous.”

“You told them that?”

“Well, yeah. If I let them think I’d actually sink so low as to date you, they’d probably lock me up in the loony bin,” Buffy replied with a snort.

Spike’s jaw ticked, but he fought to keep his anger in check. He wouldn’t get what he wanted from Buffy if he kept yelling at her. Whatever that thing he wanted may be…

“Sod your friends, Buffy. It’s your life, and it doesn’t really matter what they think.”

“But they’re right! God, Spike, this is the dumbest idea, ever. I should just go find Angel and grovel.”

“And let him humiliate you again?”

Spike watched as tears started forming in her eyes and he sighed. “Look, pet, the plan’ll work better than you groveling. It’ll have him groveling. So just give it a little more time, okay?”

“But it won’t work, Spike. Even…even if we do manage to make him so jealous he wants me back, once he does have me back, I’m still going to be completely horrible in bed, and he’ll just dump me all over again.”

“You won’t be horrible in bed. I already told you I’d teach you things.”

“What if I’m not teachable?”

Spike couldn’t stop himself from leering. “You seemed to be learning just fine on Sunday, luv.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose. “You’re a pig, Spike.”

“See, this is what I don’t get with you, Buffy,” Spike said, thrusting his hand towards her. “You tell me to teach you about sex, and then you get upset with me when I talk about sex.”

“I’m just not comfortable with it, all right?” Buffy said. “The whole subject just makes me…nervous.”

“It’s nothing to be afraid of, Summers.”

“Easy for you to say. You don’t have to have a foreign object invading your body,” Buffy said with a huff.

Spike frowned, her response so beyond what he’d expected her to say – though he did suppose she had a point. “Okay, well… Be that as it may, we can still work through your inhibitions, all right? Give me at least a little time to try this before you call yourself hopeless?”

“You’re wasting your time.”

Spike stepped closer and brushed Buffy’s hair behind her ear. “Let me be the judge of that, okay?”

Buffy felt her pulse quicken at his touch. She could tell from the way he was looking at her that he was going to kiss her again, and this time, absolutely no one was around but them.

She ducked under his arm and moved closer towards the library doors. “I actually do have some studying to do. I…I completely forgot until this morning that I have a test in my last period class today. I need to go…work on that.”

“Buffy…” Spike said, his tone letting her know he wasn’t even coming close to buying her excuse.

“Just…let me be alone right now, please? I’ll meet you after last bell, and we’ll go home together. We can talk more then.”

Spike nodded, deciding he could easily misstep if he pushed her more right then. “All right. Good luck with the…studying.”

Biting her lip, Buffy nodded before she went into the library, the doors swinging behind her.

*** *** ***

Spike was waiting for her in the parking lot when Buffy left the school that afternoon, leaning against the passenger’s side door of his old, black beast of a car that Buffy could never understood why he drove. Personally, she preferred cute, little cars. This one was just so not her style.

Exactly like the driver.

Spike grabbed her around the waist as soon as she was close to him, lifting her off the ground to kiss her. Buffy squealed in surprise, but kissed back, astonished to note that Spike was strong enough to lift her up so easily. He’d always seemed so…scrawny.

He smiled when he put her back down, then winked, and Buffy blushed. It embarrassed her when she realized she was getting worked up over a kiss from Spike – which only made her blush more.

Spike chuckled at her, but mercifully kept his mouth shut. Instead, he just opened the door for her.

“Wow, you can be a gentleman. Who knew?” Buffy teased lightly as she got into the car.

“I’d ask you to keep that to yourself,” Spike replied with a smirk before shutting the door and going around to the driver’s side.

Buffy was silent as they left the school’s parking lot, though when Spike made a left turn instead of the expected right, she got nervous. “Wait, what are you doing? Our neighborhood is the other way.”

“We’re not going straight home,” Spike told her, though he didn’t elaborate.

“But I want to go straight home.”

Spike shook his head. “Can’t. We’ve got an important errand to run.”

“Uh…we do?” Buffy didn’t like the sound of that at all. She crossed her arms over her chest. “Spike, tell me where you’re taking me now.”

“Nope.”

“Then let me out of the car.”

“Again, no. Just sit over there, shut your gob for once in your life, and trust me.”

“I’d have to be insane to trust you.”

“And yet, here you are, in my car, pretending to be my girlfriend.”

Buffy opened her mouth to retort, but nothing came out. He had her there…

She leaned back in the seat, pouting. She’d let Spike take her wherever it was he had in mind.

But she wasn’t going to like it.

Buffy’s jaw dropped as Spike pulled into a parking lot, the exterior of the building in front of them making it quite clear what sort of merchandise was sold behind the darkened windows. “You brought me to a sex shop?!” she exclaimed, turning in the passenger’s seat of Spike’s old DeSoto to give him her best arm-cross/glare combo.

“Look, do you want to learn about sex or not?”

“I can’t go in there!” Buffy screeched, making Spike wince. “It’s embarrassing!”

“Which is exactly why you have to go in there,” Spike replied, trying very hard to hold onto his patience. “Look, Buffy, if you want to be good at sex, you have to be comfortable with sex. You can’t get embarrassed and flustered at the very thought of it. Besides, you won’t let me take the hands-on approach with teaching you, which means we’re going to have to get some educational aids.”

“Some educational…” Buffy’s eyes grew wide again as she realized what he meant. “No way, Spike. I’m not doing anything with you that involves anything you could get in there.”

Spike clenched his jaw as he fought the urge to snap at her again. This woman frustrated the hell out of him, and he couldn’t figure out why she was being so stubborn about something she’d asked him to do. Was she insane?

“Look, Buffy,” he began, speaking very slowly as if she were a child, “I’m doing this to help you. Do you want to get Angel back or not?”

“More than anything,” Buffy admitted softly, her anger melting to sadness at the mere mention of her ex’s name. Spike tried not to let that upset him, seeing as it was working to his advantage at the moment.

Besides, once he finally got her to agree to go to bed with him without any of the silly “sex ed” nonsense, he’d see to it that she couldn’t even remember Angel’s name.

“Come on, pet. It’ll be all right. I promise I won’t embarrass you too horribly.”

Buffy sighed, but then reached for the door handle. “I can’t believe I’m actually doing this.”

“It won’t be so bad,” Spike said grinning as he got out of the car and walked with her towards the door. “And there’s no need to be embarrassed. Everyone’s in here for the same thing, so it’s not like they can really point fingers.”

Okay, so he had a point there, Buffy had to concede. The only people who would see her in a sex shop were people who were also in a sex shop, so they couldn’t exactly shake their fingers at her for it. She’d just walk in like it was no big deal, and everything would be fine.

Her bravado died the moment they were through the door. She wasn’t quite sure what she’d expected, but she didn’t think everything would be so – out in the open. An entire wall was covered in leather whips with a rack of things that Buffy could only assume were bondage gear – though she couldn’t imagine how you’d actually use any of them – displayed beside it.

Her wide gaze shifted to a collection of dildos not far away from where they stood, and her heart hammered in her chest as her eyes zeroed in on one – it had to be at least three feet long and as thick around as her upper arm. Never had she even imagined someone would even dream of wanting one that big, never mind actually creating and marketing one. She hurt just looking at it.

Buffy jumped when she felt Spike’s hand on her shoulder. “Are you all right?”

“That thing scares me,” she said in a hissed whisper, pointing discreetly to the oversized phallus.

Spike winced and cleared his throat. “Yeah, that one frightens me a bit, too. Come over here and let’s look at the ones a little…saner.”

Buffy giggled some at that, and Spike was relieved she didn’t bolt for the door. He wanted her to learn to be comfortable around this sort of stuff, and even if she wasn’t right off the bat, that was still better than running away screaming two minutes into their little shopping expedition.

He led her over to a relatively tamer part of the dildo section, biting back a grin at the red stain on her cheeks. She was so adorable when she was embarrassed and he was having a hard time not kissing her. “See anything you like, pet?” he asked casually.

“See anything I…” Buffy lowered her voice again. “You ask that like we’re standing in front of a shoe sale, not…these things.”

Spike shrugged. “I’m sure they have shoes here, too.”

Buffy didn’t even want to think about what sort of shoes you’d find in a place like that. She turned away from the display rack. “I don’t like any of them. Can we go now, Spike? I’ve been in here, I’ve faced my fear, or whatever, and now I want to leave.”

“Not yet, Summers,” Spike replied with a shake of his head. “We didn’t just come here for a quick look. Sex requires hands-on education, and unless you’d rather put your hands on my…”

“Stop there,” Buffy said, successfully cutting Spike off. “I guess one of these things would be better than your…thing.”

“If you say so,” Spike replied with a shrug. “All the other women I’ve known would probably disagree, but…”

“Ugh. Just shut up, all right? Geez.” Buffy took a deep breath, reminding herself she was mature enough to handle this. She had asked Spike to help her with her problem, and if he really thought this was what she needed to do to get better at sex…

Within moments, she was completely overwhelmed.

Buffy had never given a lot of thought to sex toys. She assumed that toys of this particular nature would be penis shaped, and she was aware that some vibrated. However, she’d never taken into account that they could vibrate at so many different speeds. Or rotate. Or thrust. Some of them had strange bits protruding from them while others had a smooth shaft. And would it make a difference if it was flesh-colored or neon?

And previously-innocuous animals like rabbits and dolphins were now ruined for her forever…

“Why is that one two stuck together?” she wondered aloud, forgetting herself for a moment until Spike replied to her question.

“One of them goes up your bum, pet.”

She blushed deep crimson again and turned away from the display. “Spike, I can’t. These are way more high-tech than I expected.” Her voice dropped back to a whisper. “Some of them look like aliens, and they’re scaring me.”

Spike chuckled softly. “It’s all right, Buffy. You don’t have to get any of those. Let’s just go with something basic, a little on the smaller side, yeah? We just need something so I can demonstrate for you what you’re supposed to do.” He winked at her. “Clothes on, I promise.”

Buffy nodded, glad that Spike seemed to be taking control of the situation now – and that he wasn’t going to try to make her have sex with a purple jelly alien penis.

Spike plucked one of the boxes from the shelf. “Here, how about this one, Summers? Realistic, not too big. Maybe not so intimidating, yeah?”

Her hands shaking, Buffy took the box from Spike and looked it over. It was a in a bright pink box with a plastic cover over the object in question, reminding her oddly of the boxes her old Barbie dolls had come in, only the box was advertising a “Realistic 6-Inch Penis” and not a blonde, smiling doll.

She read the label over again and frowned. “I thought you said a small one.”

Spike shrugged. “That is small.”

Buffy’s eyes bugged. “Six inches is small? Angel was a little less than that, and it, y’know, felt kinda big…”

Spike had to bite the inside of his lip to keep from laughing. He knew damn good and well that six inches wasn’t exactly miniscule, but he’d had a theory it was larger than her ex and had wanted to see if he could prove it. And truthfully, when he knew it was something he could probably get away with without her bolting, tormenting the girl was just plain fun.

He shrugged, trying to appear more nonchalant than highly amused. “Well, it was you first time. But six isn’t so much. I mean personally, I’ve got nine.” He dropped the size like it was no big deal at all, and watched as Buffy practically choked on her tongue.

Buffy coughed, her eyes zeroing in on Spike’s crotch. Nine? That would be almost twice as big as Angel, and… “I’ll take the six inches,” Buffy said quickly, shoving the box back at Spike.

Spike smirked to himself as Buffy avoided his gaze, staring down at the dirty black-and-white tile floor instead. He knew she was intimidated now, but he also had a feeling that once she thought about it for a while, she was going to get curious – and that would work in his favor.

“All right, one more thing to look at and then we can get out of here, okay?”

Buffy nodded. She tried to look up at his face again, but then all she could do was imagine just what a nine-inch penis would look like, and her cheeks flared, her gaze falling to the floor again.

She let Spike take her hand and lead her through the store, more willing to touch him than continue to discover all the bizarre gadgets that mostly only confused her. However, she finally looked back up when he came to a stop and immediately wished she didn’t.

“Oh my god… They actually put that stuff on the covers? Shouldn’t they just have plain black boxes or something?”

“Most people buying porno movies aren’t worried about seeming proper, Summers,” Spike teased, an amused glint in his eye.

“We’re not watching any of those.” Buffy insisted, wondering if it were possible to set a world record for blushing. “Aren’t they supposed to be all fakey anyway?”

“They’re not for technique, Buffy. They’re to make you not so uptight about sex.”

“I’m not uptight!”

“Yeah, try saying that when you aren’t turning such an interesting shade of red.” When her only response was to somehow manage to blush even more, Spike put his hand on her shoulder. “Look, Buffy, these movies? They’re bleedin’ hilarious. And if you can laugh at sex some, then maybe that’ll take out the intimidation factor.”

“I don’t know, Spike. I…I don’t think I can watch them.”

“Give it a try? We’ll put one on for five minutes, and if you’re completely miserable, I’ll turn it off, okay?”

Buffy thought about it for a long moment, then finally nodded her consent. “Okay, but you pick out the movies, all right? I don’t want to have to choose them.”

“All right. I can do that,” Spike agreed, deciding it wouldn’t be in his best interest to push her much further. He scanned the DVD’s, looking for ones that appeared to be the most vanilla. He wanted to get Buffy to relax about sex, not completely push the boundaries of her comfort zones – yet.

He finally decided on three movies, deciding he should have ample back-up should one movie backfire.

“Can we go now?” Buffy asked, glancing up nervously.

“Yeah, we can,” Spike told her. “Just let me buy these things, yeah?”

Buffy nodded, letting him take her hand and lead her through the store again, this time to the cash register. She couldn’t bring herself to watch the transaction, her eyes looking beside the register instead.

One look at the fruit-flavored, penis-shaped candy display had her eyes back on the floor.

She all but ran out the door when Spike was finally done, and let out a deep breath as Spike opened the car door. Never would she have thought she’d be so relieved to be back in the DeSoto.

Spike shut the passenger’s side door before making his way over to the driver’s side and climbing in with her. He dropped the bag between them, and Buffy’s eyes zeroed on it, surprised to see it was a fairly normal-looking clear plastic bag, with a big yellow smiley face telling her to “Have a nice day.”

She supposed it was fitting, giving that the stuff in the store could probably give a lot of people “nice days.”

“You’re taking me home now, right?” Buffy asked as Spike started out of the parking lot. Surely their little “shopping” trip was enough for the day…

“If by ‘home’ you mean your home and not my home, then no.”

“Spike, I have homework to do,” Buffy protested.

“Yeah, I know, and it’s watching porn with me.”

“Spike!”

“Buffy!”

She flopped back against the seat with an overdramatic sigh. “I really do have a test to study for, you know.”

“So study for it later.” He glanced over at her for a moment, taking in the sight of her pout, before turning his eyes back on the road. “Look, do you want to be ready when you’ve got Angel back or not?”

The mention of her ex once again stopped her protests. “Fine. But I’m staying over for an hour. Tops.”

“Fine.”

The car lapsed into silence again, and Buffy found herself growing exceedingly uncomfortable. The top of the bag had slipped, and she couldn’t seem to shift her focus from the pink-packaged dildo poking out over the edge of the plastic. She looked quickly at Spike, opening her mouth to try to start a conversation with him, when a memory from back inside the store popped into her head.

Personally, I’ve got nine…

Buffy turned quickly towards the window with yet another fierce blush, resolved to simply watch the scenery pass her by until they got to Spike’s.

Buffy could almost convince herself they were about to watch a normal movie. Spike had been incredibly nonchalant about the whole thing, even popping popcorn before leading her up to his bedroom.

That illusion started to slip when she realized the only place to sit in his room was on his bed – and faded away completely as soon as he popped in the DVD.

Cheesy music started playing immediately, and Buffy couldn’t look at the screen. Instead, she sat stiff-backed at the edge of the bed, her cheeks flaming as she intently studied Spike’s carpet.

“Come on up here, pet,” Spike said from where he was lounging against the pillows at the top of the bed, popcorn bowl resting in his lap.

Buffy turned towards him, watching as he popped a piece of popcorn in his mouth and winked at her. How could he be so calm about this?

Spike patted the pillow beside him. “Come on, Summers. Show a little backbone.”

Immediately, she was moving up towards the pillows, and Spike smirked to himself at how easy she was to manipulate.

Buffy tried to settle back against the pillows, though she couldn’t fight the stiffness in her muscles. She looked at the television, deciding the opening scene was innocuous enough. It was just a guy in a hospital bed, and he wasn’t even naked.

A few moments later, a blonde woman with disproportionately large breasts walked into the room. She wore an overly-tight nurses uniform, the zipper pulled down far enough to show off the top of her bulging chest. Her blonde, teased hair was topped by a white hat and she strutted across the room in white, strappy platform heels. She carried a clipboard, angled just right to accentuate her breasts even further, and approached the “patient” while sucking on the tip of a pen.

She ran her tongue along the pen before she lowered it and said in a breathy voice, “I see here on your chart you have some uncontrollable swelling in the…area.”

Buffy tried to bite back her laugh, but she couldn’t.

Spike grinned at her. “Told you it would be amusing,” he said before chomping on a handful of popcorn.

“This is what these movies are like? Seriously?”

“The ones with a plot, yeah.”

“This is a plot?”

“Compared to the ones that just open with naked people going at it like crazed weasels, yeah, there’s a plot.”

Buffy scooted closer to Spike and grabbed some popcorn for herself. She snorted as the nurse continued to ask about “the area” and asked the patient if he had “massaged it to reduce the swelling.”

“If people are watching this just for sex,” she said with a mouthful of popcorn before swallowing, “then why even bother with this ridiculous attempt at dialogue?”

Spike shrugged. “I guess it’s supposed to set the mood or something.”

“And there’s no question what that mood is,” Buffy said with a roll of her eyes. “God, just look at those horrible shoes. Can you imagine if a nurse tried to wear them to work? She’d fall on her ass trying to make it to a code.”

“Nah. She’d probably just stand there, sucking on her pen and trying to figure out where that beeping was coming from – and if it meant someone needed an ‘area’ massage.”

“See, that’s another thing. I mean, I assume they’re going to start doing it at some point in this movie. If they’re gonna show sex anyway, why not just say ‘penis?’”

“They think they’re being coy.”

Buffy snorted. “They’re delusional then.”

The oh-so-helpful nurse batted her eyelashes at her patient as she offered her own massage services in hopes that they would alleviate his pressing problem. The patient, of course, agreed, and the nurse lifted the sheet and pushed up his flimsy hospital robe to reveal his penis. Buffy shifted uncomfortably at the movie’s first bit of genuine nudity, but when the cheesy music from the beginning started again, she started laughing, too.

Spike grinned to himself at the success of both of his brilliant plans – Buffy was as amused as he’d hoped she’d be, and the bowl of popcorn covered up what he didn’t want her to notice. Sure, the movie was horrible and way beyond corny, but he was still watching porn with Buffy – and his body was more than aware of that.

The movie started heating up, the nurse moving from a simple “massage” to a blowjob. Spike expected Buffy to blush and turn away again, but instead, she continued to stare at the screen with rapt fascination. “Have you ever done that before?” Spike asked softly, hoping he wouldn’t spook her again.

Buffy shook her head, though her eyes didn’t leave the television. “I was always scared to, but she makes it look so easy. She’s not gagging at all.”

“Well, she is a professional.”

“I don’t think I could do that.”

“Well, we’ll work on that.”

Buffy turned sharply towards Spike. “I am not sucking your…”

Spike held up his hand. “Never said you were, Summers. We decided to do this with no touching, remember.”

“Right, I just thought you meant…” Buffy trailed off and blushed yet again. “Sorry.”

“It’s all right. It was a logical conclusion.”

Buffy nodded silently. It was the logical conclusion, but since that wasn’t what he meant… She had to wonder how exactly Spike was planning on teaching her how to give a blowjob.

And why was she actually a little disappointed that he hadn’t meant he wanted her to practice on the real thing?

She decided to blame the movie. It was putting funny notions in her head. Still, she turned back to the screen, frowning at what she saw. “Wait…I think it missed something. Rewind it.”

“Rewind it?” Spike asked with an arched eyebrow. “Are you worried you missed an important plot point? They’re fucking.”

“Yeah, but she’s jacking off two other guys while she’s riding the patient. Where did they come from?”

Spike shrugged. “I was watching it the whole time, and I don’t know.”

“Oh.” Buffy frowned. “That’s weird. I mean, if I were having sex with someone and then two other guys just walked up and stuck their penises at me, I’d be pissed off.”

“Well, yeah, but pornos are based in an alternate reality where everyone’s a rabid nympho,” Spike explained with another handful of popcorn.

“Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense.” The scene faded into another with a poorly-done transition effect, and Buffy tilted her head to the side as she tried to figure out exactly how the woman had managed to twist herself into the position she was now in. “Okay, that looks painful. I didn’t know people could bend that way.”

“Again, professional,” Spike said.

“Right.”

Buffy’s attention was captured by the television again as she wondered if being a contortionist was a prerequisite for starring in porn. The woman had both of her legs parallel with her head, which Buffy just didn’t think could possibly be natural.

A knock on the door caused her to jump and let out a squeak. She turned to Spike, wide-eyed, but he just shrugged. “Probably my uncle.”

Sure enough, Spike’s uncle’s voice came through the door a moment later. “William?”

“I’m home, Uncle Wes,” Spike called back. “Just watching porn with the neighbor girl.”

Buffy turned the reddest she had yet her mortification reaching new heights. How was she ever going to be able to look Spike’s uncle in the face again? And wasn’t he going to be angry now? Would he tell her mom?

Oh god, she was going to be grounded. For the rest of her life…

“Oh. Um, that’s…nice,” Wesley replied, keeping the door firmly shut. “Well, I’ll just be…downstairs. If you need anything.”

“Okay, Uncle.”

Buffy listened carefully until she heard Wesley go back down the stairs. She turned to Spike then and smacked him on the arm. “What is wrong with you? He’s going to tell my mom, and then I’ll be dead!”

Spike rolled his eyes. “No he’s not. We’re both eighteen. Wes doesn’t care we’re watching porn.”

“Oh.” Buffy was silent for a moment before she smacked him again. “But it’s still embarrassing!”

“Nah. It’s just natural curiosity. Besides, he spends all his time over at his boyfriend’s house. I haven’t seen him in days.”

“His boyfriend?” Buffy asked. “Your uncle’s gay? I thought he was dating that lawyer woman, whatever her name was.”

“He ditched her, thank god,” Spike said. “And I guess he found himself or something, because now he’s with Frank or Fred or something like that. I’ve never met the guy, but Wes has talked about him some, and it seems pretty serious.” He shrugged. “I don’t really care as long as he doesn’t bother me too much. I got into a lot of trouble back in England in my early teens, which is why he moved us here. For the first couple years we were here, he was constantly on my back, wanting to know what I was doing all the time. I guess I kind of brought it on myself, but I’m still glad he’s backed off now.”

Buffy had always wondered how Spike had come to live in the States with his uncle. Their previous status as mortal enemies hadn’t really given them a lot of chances to have deep talks.

“What kind of trouble were you in in England?” Buffy asked. “You were only like, fifteen, when you came here.”

Spike picked up the remote and turned off the television. “It’s getting late, Buffy. Don’t you have a test to study for?”

So apparently they could talk about sex for days, but Spike’s personal history was completely off limits. Buffy didn’t quite know why that bothered her so much either, but her feelings were hurt nonetheless. She’d thought they were having a pretty good time that afternoon, despite all the uncomfortable subject matter, and now he was just throwing her out?

Suddenly, she remembered why she disliked him so much.

“You know, Spike,” she said as she got off the bed and snatched her bookbag off his floor. “A simple ‘I don’t wanna talk about it’ would’ve sufficed. You don’t have to be such an asshole.”

“Me? You’re the one who was prying into my personal business.”

“Says the man who has every detail of my very embarrassing sex life!”

“That’s different. You were willing to be open with me on that one.”

“And I thought maybe you were with me, too, but apparently, I was wrong.” Buffy stopped and shook her head. “God, what am I even doing here? This is insane. I’m insane.”

As she started towards the door, Spike realized he’d let his temper get the best of him and made a potentially-fatal misstep. He got off the bed quickly and ran to intercept Buffy before she could leave his room. “Buffy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get defensive there, I just…” Spike sighed. He didn’t want to reveal much more, but he’d put himself in a situation where he knew his best shot of keeping her where he wanted her was to prey on her sympathy.

“Look, it’s just there was this girl involved, and she really broke my heart. I still have a hard time talking about it.”

Buffy’s face immediately soften, and Spike breathed an internal sigh of relief. He still had her…

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have freaked out on you like that. This is just all really difficult for me. I mean, it’s embarrassing, really, and I feel so vulnerable with you now, and then you wouldn’t open up, too.” She looked down shyly. “I keep being afraid that you’re going to suddenly turn around and use all of this against me or something.”

Spike supposed she wasn’t completely off-base there, though he didn’t intend to use this against her the way she suspected. He’d never use anything they’d done or discussed to publicly humiliate her the way Angel had. To get her upside down, naked, and screaming his name, sure, but never to humiliate her.

“It’s all right. I guess it’s sort of a difficult situation for both of us. Not exactly the sort of relationship they write handbooks for,” Spike replied with a shrug, his hands shoved in his pockets.

Buffy looked up and smiled at him, noting with some surprise how absolutely adorable he looked at the moment. She didn’t quite know what possessed her, but she leaned up and lightly kissed his closed mouth.

When she moved away, Spike was staring at her in shock. “What was that for?”

“Just to say thanks,” Buffy replied with a nervous shrug, not really sure what it had been for herself. “You know, for helping me out here and not being as much of an asshole as I know you’re capable of being. Hell, sometimes I think you might almost like me.”

“I do,” Spike said, the answer coming out a little too quickly for either of them to be comfortable with it. He cleared his throat. “You know, in a neighborly sort of way.”

“Right. I knew what you meant.” An uncomfortable beat of silence past between them before Buffy pointed towards the door. “I really should go. I’ve got that test to study for and all.”

“Yeah. I guess you probably should. I’ll walk you out.”

“Thanks,” Buffy replied, her hand wrapping tightly around the arm of her bag as she let Spike lead her out of the bedroom. They passed Wesley on the way towards the door, and Buffy’s face flamed again.

“Hello, Buffy,” he said with a nod, his face making it clear he was just as uncomfortable with the situation as she was.

“Hi, Mr. Wyndam-Pryce,” she replied, wishing the floor would swallow her whole.

Wesley cleared his throat. “So… Are you and William dating, or…?”

Spike glanced at Buffy before he gave a quick answer, hoping she’d find him chivalrous. Chivalry would score him points he could later trade in for getting laid, right? “We were just working on a project together for school. The whole porn thing was just me being a wanker, trying to rile Buffy up.”

Wesley sighed in relief. “Oh, good.” He looked quickly at Buffy. “Not that I don’t like you, Buffy. You’re a lovely girl, and I’m sure William would be very lucky to have you.”

“I’m sure Buffy knew what you meant, Uncle,” Spike said when Buffy continued to stare at the floor, redfaced. “I’m going to take her home now, and then I’ll be back.”

“All right. Have a good evening, Buffy.”

“You, too,” Buffy said with the best smile she could muster before continuing out of the house with Spike.

“Thank you for that,” she said once they were outside and walking across the lawn to her door.

Spike shrugged. “No problem.”

They both stopped on her front porch, and Buffy turned to look at him. “So tomorrow…we do what we did today? Pretend to date at school and then, uh…”

“Private lessons afterwards?” Spike filled in for her, unable to keep back his teasing leer.

“Right. That.”

“Yeah.” Spike looked down at her and felt his heart constrict in his chest. He knew he needed to get out of there before he did something stupid like kiss her.

Really kiss her…

He cleared his throat. “So I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah, tomorrow.”

God, her lips looked delicious… Spike shook his head, called out a quick good bye, and sprinted off the porch.

Buffy moved just as quickly to get back into her own house.

It was quiet and empty when she got inside, but that wasn’t unusual. Her mother worked a lot of late nights, and had started taking buying trips with increased frequency. Buffy supposed it was good since it meant business was good, but she got lonely sometimes.

She went upstairs to her room and dropped her bookbag on her bed. She unzipped it and went for her history book in order to start her studying, though another object in the bag caught her eye.

A ruler.

She slowly slid it out of the bag, her hand trembling as she wrapped it around the last three inches to cover them, giving herself a visual representation of what exactly constituted “nine inches.”

Her eyes bulged and she tossed the ruler back on the bed as if it had suddenly started to burn her hand.

Buffy had a sinking suspicion she was already in over her head…

Buffy stood at the bus stop, her arms wrapped tightly around her. She hated, hated riding the bus to school. It was beyond humiliating being the only senior on the thing, and it was just one more item on a list of grievances she’d suffered since her break up with Angel.

Angel had picked her up every day before school since she didn’t drive herself. No Angel meant no ride – and her mother seemed to think it was more of an inconvenience for her to “go out of her way” to take Buffy to school when Buffy could walk up the block and wait for the bus. No matter how much Buffy had begged, her mother simply hadn’t understood how forcing a senior to ride the school bus constituted child abuse.

So when Spike drove up in his monstrosity of a car and stopped at the curb in front of her, motioning from behind the window for her to get in, Buffy didn’t hesitate to join him. Sure, riding around in an old, boat-sized car was embarrassing, but nowhere near as embarrassing as being in the bus.

“Thank you so much,” Buffy said as she buckled herself in. “Angel used to give me rides, so…”

“Yeah, I figured as much,” Spike said. “I used to hear him honking every morning. I would’ve offered to start taking you already if I’d known you were forced to taking the big yellow taxi.”

“It’s been awful. Some freshman hit on me yesterday. He had Pop Tart in his braces.” She shuddered at the memory.

“So I’ll be your chauffer from now on,” Spike replied. “Only fitting, since you’re my girlfriend and all. Well, as far as the school knows.”

“Right,” Buffy replied. “As far as they know.”

Spike risked a glance her way, thinking about the fantasies he’d had about her once she’d gone home and he’d been alone to relieve some of the tension watching porn with her had caused. She could be his naughty nurse any day of the bloody week…

“Oh!” Buffy turned towards him suddenly, and Spike had to fight to keep from swerving, her sudden outburst startling him. “I forgot to tell you yesterday that I have cheerleading practice this afternoon.”

She’d yelled about that? God, this girl was high strung… “Until when?” Spike asked.

“Five. Do I need to find another ride home? I could just come by your place afterwards. Unless it’ll be too late, and you’d rather just wait for tomorrow.”

“No, it’s fine. I can still give you a ride home, pet. I’ll just meet you at five.”

“Okay. We’ll be practicing in the gym. If you want, you can come watch for a bit. It would be, y’know, a boyfriend sort of thing to do.”

Buffy wasn’t sure what had possessed her to ask Spike to come watch her practice, except maybe she wanted to prove to herself she was still attractive, even if Angel had ditched her. Would Spike enjoy watching her cheer – and more importantly, did she want him to?

She looked him over, her teeth worrying her bottom lip, and realized she did. But not because she wanted him or anything. Just because it might be fun to make him be the one to squirm for once.

Spike had never given cheerleaders a lot of thought. He got the flexible thing, but being a teenaged boy himself, he was constantly surrounded by young nubile flesh without it being wrapped in blinding yellow. And then there was all the screaming and the over-peppiness. All in all, he could take a pass.

But if Buffy wanted him there, he’d be there. He’d go to the sodding ballet if it could bring him any closer to getting in her pants. “Yeah, all right. I’ll swing by for a bit.”

“Okay. Cool.”

Silence fell over the car again, and Buffy turned to look out the window as Spike drove. Even with the space between them, she was overly aware of his presence, her skin prickling at the memory of his touch. It was her dirty little secret that she’d never admit to anyone – barely even herself – but she was excited about it being another school day. With school came Spike kissage. And as vile as Spike the man may be, his lips were another story entirely.

He kissed way too well for a teenager…

Buffy decided she wasn’t going to feel guilty for wanting to mack on a hottie. For all Spike’s annoying traits, he was physically attractive. In a weird, punk sort of way. If you went for bleached, spiky hair, leather and ripped denim, a penchant for eyeliner, perfect cheekbones, six pack abs, and gorgeous blue eyes, that was.

Oh, those eyes…

“Right, so we’re early. I think we should make out.”

Buffy whipped her head around towards Spike, realizing sometime in the middle of her daydreaming they’d gotten to the school, and he’d just said…

“Wha?”

“I think we should make out,” Spike repeated casually, like he’d just made a comment on the lack of clouds in the sky today. “I mean, if we sit here in my car and go at it in front of everyone, it’s bound to get back around to Angel.”

Well, that sounded like a good enough excuse…er, reason…to her. Buffy slid across the bench seat and climbed in Spike’s lap.

Spike’s eyes widened as her lips went immediately to his neck, sucking on the pulse point. He hadn’t expected her to response to his suggestion so enthusiastically, but he certainly wasn’t going to complain now that she had. Instead, he reached out and took two handfuls of her firm ass, moaning as she continued to give him a hickey.

Spike decided it was now official. Angel was a moron. This woman was bloody amazing…

Buffy licked his neck before nibbling on his earlobe, then traced his smooth jaw with kisses. Soon, her mouth found his, and Spike moaned as she parted her lips for him, letting him slide his tongue forward.

What he wouldn’t give to be able to throw her down on the seat and have his way with her right there…

Testing the waters, he pushed up her skirt, bringing his hands under them to massage her bottom. She was wearing a thong, giving him free access to her ass, and Spike knew she had to feel his erection poking into her. All that hot, firm skin right beneath his fingertips – there was no way he could keep from being aroused.

He was so tempted to slide his fingers under the lace of her panties and do something naughty, but he didn’t think it was a good idea to push things so soon. He didn’t want her running again.

But then, her mouth had moved from his lips to his ear, and she was whispering to him, “I wouldn’t say no if you wanted to touch me.”

Spike’s breathing grew heavier as he dug his fingers into her bottom, trying to gain some control before he moved forward.

Would she say no if he popped the buttons of his jeans and stuck his cock into the warm, wet place currently grinding against him? Would that qualify as “touching” or would it be taking things just a smidge too far?

He never got to find out. He jumped as something smacked against the trunk of his car, and Buffy let out a shout, falling backwards and smacking into the horn. Her face flaring, she hurried off his lap.

A moment later, Devon was knocking the driver’s side window, Amy snickering at his side. “Did I interrupt something, Pratt?”

“Wanker!” Spike yelled before opening the door and getting out. “What’s your problem, mate?”

Amy peeked in past Spike at Buffy, chuckling at the sight of the other girl’s red face. “Aww… Did we embarrass the poor cheerleader?” she asked in a baby voice.

“Oi!” Spike exclaimed, moving Amy out of the way and slamming the door. “Leave her alone.”

“Geez, Spike, you don’t have to be such a dick,” Amy said, rolling her eyes. “Dev and I were just playing around.”

“Yeah, well, you’re not funny,” Spike snapped. “Why don’t you two just get out of here.”

Devon and Amy shared a look before rolling their eyes. “Damn, Spike, when did you turn into such a douche?” Devon asked. “Getting all worked up over some piece of tail. Just bang the little bitch and get it out of your system.”

Spike grabbed Devon by the front of his t-shirt and slammed him against the side of the DeSoto. “You shut your mouth, MacLeish. You don’t know the first sodding thing about Buffy.”

Amy jumped into the fray, waving her hand between Devon and Spike to get him to drop him. “Whoa, whoa. We’re all friends here. Let’s just go our separate ways, all right?”

Spike’s jaw ticked, and for a moment, all he could think about was pounding Devon’s face in. But then he realized that was probably overreacting and let him go. “Yeah, all right.”

“Come on, Dev,” Amy said, taking hold of Devon’s arm. She looked back over at Spike as they started to walk off. “Dude, you really need to just chill.”

Spike took several deep breaths, then turned towards the crowd that had gathered to watch the potential fight. “What the fuck are you lot looking at, huh?” he yelled, causing the group to quickly disperse.

The attention on them dwindling, Buffy came out of the car. Spike ran over to her, grabbing her arm before she could get away. “Hey. Slow down. I’m sorry about that, okay?”

Buffy shook her head. “Look, Spike, things got out of hand there, and I… I just need to go.”

Spike understood that, though he didn’t like it. He’d much preferred it when she was writhing in his lap and letting him have grabby hands. Still, he dropped her arm and ran his hand through his hair. “Okay. Are we still on for this afternoon?”

Buffy knew if she had any sense, she’d end this right then and there. Things kept spiraling out of control, her hormones moving faster than her brain, taking her to places she didn’t think she should be. Not with him. Not with a man who wasn’t Angel.

She nodded. “Yeah. We’ll be in the gym.”

“All right.” Spike knew he probably shouldn’t, not with how skittish she was at the moment, but he took her and pulled her into his arms all the same. “I’m sorry,” he whispered to her, relieved when he felt her embrace him back. “They had no right to do that.”

Buffy was surprised at how much better she could feel with a hug from Spike. He had such strong arms, and a good, solid chest. And, god, the way he smelled… She wanted to bury her nose against him and just breathe…

“It’s okay,” Buffy said, looking up at him. “I mean, we were doing it to get noticed, after all, and that called plenty of attention to us.”

Spike chuckled lightly, glad to see she didn’t seem to be running anymore. “Yeah, it did.” He put his hand against her cheek. “Mind giving them a little something else to watch?”

Buffy swallowed nervously, but shook her head no.

She tried not to think about how much it didn’t feel like acting when Spike kissed her.

*** *** ***

When lunchtime rolled around, Spike opted to go out to the courtyard and sit alone. He didn’t see Buffy around anywhere, and the thought of having to sit with Devon and Amy at the moment held no appeal to him.

He hadn’t been sitting down long when Faith approached the table, sliding into the bench across from him. “Hey, Pratt. Heard you got into it this morning with Devon and Amy.”

“Hey, Faith.” He shrugged. “We had a bit of a row, yeah. They were rude to Buffy.”

“Ah. Little Miss Buffy, huh? Is it true you two were totally getting busy in your car?”

“We were kissing a bit, yeah. Amy and Devon came by, started acting like jerks, and I got angry, is all.”

“From what I heard, you looked about ready to kill Dev.” Faith popped a French fry in her mouth. “What’s up with you and Buffy anyway? She doesn’t seem like your type, what with the moral center and all. I mean, I can see why you’d want to get a piece of that cause damn, if I swung that way I’d be all over that, too, but I never saw her walking on the dark side.”

Spike looked around to make sure they wouldn’t be overheard, then leaned in closer to Faith. “You promise to keep a secret?”

Faith crossed her heart. “Needle in my eye, the whole bit.”

“I convinced her we’d only be doing it as a ploy to make her hulking forehead of an ex jealous.”

“And she fell for it?”

“Yeah.”

Faith burst out laughing. “Oh, that is rich. Damn, Spike, you are a fucking genius.”

“I guess,” Spike replied, although something about the plan didn’t seem so ingenious this morning. He’d almost call the emotion he was feeling “guilt,” only he worked very hard not to feel any of that, so it couldn’t be.

“Man, I can’t believe she’d be stupid enough to even consider you were doing anything but trying to tap that ass. What an idiot.”

Spike bristled. “Well, she’s had a rough time of it, what with him humiliating her around the school with Harmony. I can’t blame the girl for wanting to get a little of her own back.”

“Yeah, and I can’t blame you for taking advantage of that,” Faith replied.

Spike started to protest and say he wasn’t taking advantage of her, but he knew it would be a lie. That was exactly what he was doing, and suddenly, it didn’t feel so good.

Buffy walked out onto the courtyard then, and the sunlight hit her, illuminating her golden hair like a halo. One of her friends said something that made her laugh, and Spike could hear the sound floating in the air. She was gorgeous, so vibrant…

It hit him like a flash, and he knew why he couldn’t quite stomach the notion of taking advantage of her.

This wasn’t about sex. He liked her.

Liked her…

With that realization, Spike’s entire world flipped over on its head.

Spike had never really gotten the cheerleader thing. Sure, he appreciated flexibility as much as the next guy, but bright yellow spandex, for all its accentuating qualities, wasn’t really his cuppa. And being in high school, he was constantly surrounded by young, bouncy women, so the novelty just wasn’t there for him.

However, when he walked into the gym to see Buffy Summers with her leg parallel to her body, he completely abandoned his renouncement of yellow spandex and declared it the sexiest thing ever.

His eyes panned slowly up that perfect, tanned leg, then back down again, only to make a detour at her breasts. They were pushed up and together by the ingenious engineering of her top, and Spike decided that yes, the hype about cheerleading outfits was more than warranted.

Or perhaps it was just the girl. He was certain she could make him sing the praises of a trash bag if she draped it over her body.

That particular thought soured his mood. Spike was still trying to process the realization he’d made at lunch with Faith, and it wasn’t sitting well with him. He didn’t like the nagging couldn’t-be-guilt churning away in his stomach every time he thought about how he was manipulating her – and even more when he realized he currently had no intentions of stopping.

As soon as Buffy spotted him, she broke out in a grin, dropped her leg back to the floor, and ran to him. She threw herself at him, giving Spike just enough time to get the memo and catch her, grabbing on to her bottom and holding her steady as she wrapped all four limbs around him and gave him an unexpected kiss.

Unexpected, but not unreciprocated.

“You came,” Buffy said as she pulled away, smiling at him in a way that didn’t seem at all like part of a game.

Spike resisted making an innuendo, despite the fact he was hard in his jeans and had two handfuls of her barely-covered ass. She seemed so happy to see him, and his breath stopped for a moment as he wondered if maybe she was seeing this as more than just a game, too.

Buffy leaned in and whispered against his ear. “So do I make a convincing enough girlfriend?”

Spike tried to keep the heartbreak from his voice. “Yeah, you do.”

“Come on, Buffy! Mack on your boyfriend some other time – we’ve got routines to do!”

At the sound of one of the other girls calling for her, Buffy gave Spike a quick kiss and slid down his body, making Spike bite his lip and tremble slightly as she grazed the front of his jeans.

She tossed a look over her shoulder as she ran off, feeling a definite sense of pride at the glassy look she had put in his eyes. Maybe nothing else between them was real, but the hunger she could put in his expression definitely was. It gave her a thrill to know Spike at least wanted her, though she told herself that was only because her self-esteem had taken such a blow in her break up with Angel. It felt good to be wanted – that was all.

“Ugh, Buffy, what are you even doing with him?”

Head cheerleader Cordelia Chase’s words were snide, her look full of distain as she watched Buffy approach. Harmony Kendall walked up behind Cordelia, looking down at Buffy. “That’s the best she can do now that I have the man she was too pathetic to keep,” Harmony said with a cruel laugh.

Buffy had a feeling that if it hadn’t been for Spike, being around Harmony alone would’ve been enough to send her off in tears. Instead, she rolled her eyes. “Oh, shut up, Harmony. You banged Spike and you know it, so don’t act like you’re all better than me. You’re just jealous because you know Spike is better in bed – and way more endowed.”

Wait a minute… Buffy wanted to be having sex with Angel, not Spike, so why was she thinking of Spike as the better lover…

Oh, right. Playing a role. Stick to the script, Summers…

Harmony gaped. “I didn’t…”

Cordelia rolled her eyes. “You so did, Harm.” She threw up her hands. “You’re both disturbed if you ask me.” She sighed. “But whatever. As long as he doesn’t pass on some disease that makes your limbs fall off so you can’t compete, I don’t really care who either of you bangs.” Her look of disgust lasted for a moment longer before she clapped her hands and put on a perky smile. “Okay, let’s get to work. Nationals aren’t going to win themselves.”

Buffy glanced back at Spike, unable to resist throwing him a wink before she jogged after Cordelia.

*** *** ***

As she changed after practice, Buffy couldn’t help but have a smile on her face. She’d ventured a few glances at Spike as she’d been doing her most-flexible moves, and while she knew it shouldn’t give her a thrill knowing she was turning him on, it did.

Not that she was ever going to do a thing about it. Anything sexual between them was always going to be kept completely professional and within the terms of their agreement. Therefore, not even actually sexual. Only in the sense that it was all about sex. Only not sex between the two of them.

Right.

She bounced out of the locker room, only to almost immediately stop dead in her tracks and have her smile fall. Her eyes narrowed as they focused in on Harmony’s hand.

Which was currently resting on Spike’s arm.

Her light pink, French-tipped, acrylic nails were poised against his perfect bicep, and Buffy was not at all happy about this. How dare she hit on her boyfriend? It didn’t matter that Spike wasn’t really her boyfriend, because Harmony thought he was her boyfriend, and therefore was hitting on her boyfriend. That’s how it worked.

Wasn’t it enough that she’d already gotten her claws into Angel?

Out for blood, Buffy stalked over towards the two of them, ready to rip out Harmony’s hair and then let Spike have it for making a fool out of her. She should’ve known that he’d be enough of an asshole to flirt with the woman who’d stolen Angel from her and given Buffy her broken heart. Did he have no sense of decency at all?

She came up behind Spike, moments away from tapping him on the back and giving him a piece of her mind when she stopped short, hearing him talk.

“Look, Harm, you can flounce around me all you want, but as I’m sure you’re aware, I’m with Buffy now. And while your current squeeze may be cro-magnon enough to think you’re more of a catch because your chest doubles as a life raft, I’d rather have someone with a little more…spunk. You’re boring, you’re stupid, and you’re a bitch in the not fun way. So really, just toddle off before you continue to embarrass yourself because I’m here waiting for a real woman.” Spike shook off her hand, frowning as he dusted his arm off, as if it was suddenly covered in dirt.

“Well, I…” Harmony noticed Buffy standing behind Spike and sniffed. “Whatever. You two losers deserve each other. I just thought maybe I’d take pity on you since you’re with her now, but everyone knows you’re just some pathetic piece of Eurotrash, Spike. Angel’s the real catch.” Nose in the air, Harmony stormed off, her pink skirt swirling around her thighs.

Spike turned to look at Buffy, an awkward silence passing between them before Buffy cleared her throat and spoke. “Thanks. For what you said to her there. She’s pretty much humiliated me on an epic high school scale, so…”

He cut her off with a shake of his head. “I was just saying how I feel. She really isn’t anything compared to you. If Angel can’t see that, he doesn’t even deserve you.”

She looked up at him, her cherry gloss-coated lips slightly parted, her eyes wide. Spike wanted to kiss her and stop pretending it wasn’t real.

Instead, he took a step back. “Yeah, so, are we still on for today?”

Buffy looked around, confirming they were alone. “Yeah. What’s on the lesson plan for today, teach?”

His answer almost made her stumble.

“Blowjobs.”

*** *** ***

Buffy’s hands trembled as she attempted to wrap them around the dildo Spike had purchased on their shopping expedition the day before. This should be easy enough, right? Maybe she could just pretend it was a popsicle…

Only it was so clearly not a popsicle. For one thing, it smelled heavily of plastic, not fruit juice. She tossed it down onto the mattress as if it had suddenly caught fire. “I can’t do this.”

“It’s all right, pet. It’s not like it’s going to bite you.”

Buffy avoided his gaze. “But I’m embarrassed, okay? I can’t…with you here…” She hazard a glance up. “Maybe you could let me do this one by myself?”

“How can I teach you if I can’t see what your doing?” Spike asked. And how could he seduce her if he wasn’t around, for that matter… He reached down and picked up the discarded dildo, then took Buffy’s hand and wrapped it around it. “Here, it’s all right. I promise I’m not going to make fun of you, luv. There’s no need for you to be embarrassed.”

Buffy bit her bottom lip, fighting the urge to toss the object back on the bed and run out of the room. But then Spike’s hand was guiding her hand up and down the shaft, and Buffy felt a shiver go through her, her rapid heartbeat suddenly from something other than fear.

“That’s it, kitten, just start out nice and slow,” Spike said, his voice deep and husky. “Tease a bit.”

Buffy leaned forward, bringing the phallus to her mouth before letting her tongue dart out, caressing just the tip. When Spike didn’t admonish her, she did it again, this time letting her tongue linger, wrapping around the head.

“Yeah…” Spike said, his eyes zeroing in on her tongue as his cock strained in his jeans, yearning to be the one receiving her attentions. And when Buffy brought it into her mouth, sliding her perfect lips up and down, letting him feel her warm breath against his hand, still wrapped around hers, he couldn’t help but moan.

Buffy looked up at that, her eyes dark as she met his. His breathing was shallow, his pupils dilated, looking almost as aroused as if it actually were his cock in her mouth.

And in that moment, she really wanted it to be…

Buffy didn’t give herself time to actually think about her actions. Instead, she dropped the dildo and quickly made her way to his jeans, unbuttoning the fly and pulling his erection into her hands. Spike cried out in surprise, then moaned low in his throat, leaning against the headboard of the bed as Buffy took his cock into her mouth.

Spike came to the conclusion very quickly that she didn’t actually need a lot of instruction in this. The eager way she slid him against her tongue, the heady moans that vibrated around his shaft – she was into this, and it turned him on more than any of the better techniques he’d experienced in the past.

“Fuck, Buffy, feels so good…” Spike panted, his hand stroking her hair. Even with his brain threatening to short circuit, he remained keenly aware of the damage Angel had done to her self-esteem and wanted her to know she wasn’t a failure at this. “Best I’ve ever…” His words trailed off into a loud groan as she reached beneath him and cupped his balls. “Oh, god…please don’t stop…”

She didn’t. She massaged him with her hands, slid her warm mouth up and down, until Spike couldn’t take it anymore. He shouted a warning to her, but was relieved when she didn’t move away, letting him come in her mouth.

Spike slumped against the pillows of his bed, watching as Buffy demurely wiped at the corners of her mouth. He took her wrist and tried to tug her towards him, but she jerked away.

“Don’t.”

Spike frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“This wasn’t supposed to be for real,” Buffy said as she got off the bed. “We were supposed to only be doing fake things.” She turned towards him, her eyes accusatory. “Why did you let it get real?”

For a moment, Spike could only gape in disbelief, but then he sputtered, “Me? You’re the one who ripped open my jeans and started sucking my cock, Buffy. There’s not a man alive who’s going to stop a thing like that.”

She stared at him, lip quivering, before she grabbed her bookbag and ran out of the room. “Balls,” Spike swore under his breath before righting his jeans and running after her. “Buffy! Come on, stop for a moment, please.”

He breathed a sigh of relief when she did stop at the front door and turned to look at him. Her eyes were watery, and Spike felt like an ass, especially since he knew that despite the fact she had been the one to take things to the next level, he had actively worked to maneuver her into that position.

“Buffy, I’m sorry.” He started to move closer to her, but thought better of it and stayed where he was, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I didn’t mean to do anything that made you feel uncomfortable or upset you. That’s the last thing I wanted. It just… Well, it felt really good, pet. Really good. I mean, I’ve been turned on since I watched you do your lil’ bendy routines, and then we came back here, and you were…” He took a deep breath, then spoke quickly. “You’re hot, Buffy. Watching you do sexy things gets me hard. I can’t help that. And then when you actually started to… I’m only human, luv. I can’t turn that down.”

“I know. I just can’t… I can’t deal with this right now. I need to go home and think, all right?”

Spike nodded, even though he really wanted to grab her, profess his feelings for her, and beg her to stay. But he knew enough to know doing something like that now would only cause more problems for them, especially since he still hadn’t come to terms with exactly what those feelings were. “Yeah, all right.”

Buffy turned back around in silence and crossed the rest of the space to the front door. She stopped with her hand on the handle of the screen, however, pausing for a moment before she asked, her back still to Spike, “Was…was I good at least?”

Her quiet, almost-desperate sounding question made Spike’s heart constrict. “Yeah, luv. You were perfect.”

Her whispered “thank you,” as she screen door swung behind her was so soft Spike almost didn’t hear it.

But he did.