1

The boy was sitting on the front lawn just outside her house, wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans. He was slim, almost skinny, with curly, brown hair and looked about nine, maybe ten years old. As Buffy came closer, she noticed the small, white cat, curled up comfortably in his lap as he scratched it gently behind the ear.

She cleared her throat as she approached him, slowly, not wanting to startle the boy in case he hadn’t heard her leave the house. Suddenly he looked up, and Buffy realized that he had the most piercing blue eyes she had ever seen. He eyed her a little suspiciously as she stopped a few feet away, and she smiled softly at him. “I see you’ve made friends with Princess Leia.”

He looked at her blankly for a moment before turning his eyes back down to the white little fur-ball in his lap. Then he looked up again, a doubtful expression on his face. “You named your cat Princess Leia?”

Buffy laughed. “Yeah, right! As if.” She rolled her eyes. “No, I got her as a birthday gift from my cousin, Andrew, six years ago. He had already named the poor thing and wouldn’t let me change it.” She paused. “Andrew’s kinda… well; sometimes I think he’s from a whole different planet.”

The boy looked almost amused for a moment, then he turned his attention back to the cat, patting it tenderly. Buffy hesitated for a moment before walking over and sitting down next to him on the grass. He glanced at her, but didn’t say anything more. She smiled again. “Hi, I’m Buffy. This is my house. Do you live around here?”

She thought she saw him tense up for a moment, then he shook his head. “No.” Frowning a little, Buffy waited for him to explain what he was doing in her front yard, but he remained silent. She opened her mouth to ask him, directly, but closed it again when he finally spoke; “I used to live with my grandmother downtown, but she died.”

Buffy stared at him with wide eyes. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” She had to cringe at how lame that came out, but she had no idea what else to say.

He went on, seemingly oblivious to her horrified expression. “The Social Services tried to force me to move to a foster home, but I ran away. The last couple of nights I’ve been sleeping in an alley behind the docks.”

“But…” Buffy felt like her head was spinning, not wanting to believe what she was hearing. “What about your parents?”

Shrugging, he continued patting the cat. “Both dead. Was a car crash. I was the only one who survived.”

That was the most horrible thing she had ever heard. Buffy kept staring at him for a moment, then shook her head, as if to clear it. Suddenly she remembered that she was supposed to be at work in less than fifteen minutes, and glanced at the boy. Sure, he wasn’t exactly her responsibility, but she really couldn’t just walk away and leave him here. After all, she had found him sitting outside her house; she had to at least do something. And after hearing that awful, heartbreaking story of his, she couldn’t help but feel an almost desperate need to help him, somehow.

She quickly made up her mind. “Look, I’m working at the Double Meat Palace and I really gotta go now. Why don’t you come with me? I’ll get you something to eat.”

He looked at her, a little surprised. Then he shrugged again. “Okay.” As he started to get up, the cat jumped off his lap and quickly ran towards the other side of the yard.

Buffy got to her feet as well, brushing some grass off her pants and gestured for the boy to follow her. They had gotten as far as to the other side of the street when she realized that she hadn’t even asked for his name. She opened her mouth to do so when she heard an angry voice calling out behind them. Turning around with a frown, she saw a man with bleached blond hair and a black leather duster running towards them. “Hey!” He glared at her, furiously, as he came up to them. “What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?!”

“I…” Buffy just stared at him, dumbfounded. She had never seen him before but he was, without doubt, the most gorgeous man she had ever seen. Quickly she glanced at the boy, who suddenly seemed to find the ground next to his feet extremely interesting. Then she turned back to the man. “I’m sorry. Who are you?”

The man kept glaring at her, his eyes cold. “I’m the boy’s father.”

“Huh? I mean… huh?” Buffy blinked in confusion. “But he said…” She looked at the boy again. He refused to meet her eyes. Suddenly she wished that the ground would just open up and swallow her. God, how stupid am I?! she thought, miserably. Now she realized that the blond man had just the same blue eyes as the boy, maybe even more beautiful if that was possible. She took a deep breath before turning back to him, an apologetic look on her face. “I’m really sorry. He told me his parents were dead, and…” Her voice trailed off and she swallowed hard, suddenly beyond embarrassed.

Closing his eyes for a moment, possibly counting to ten, the man then looked at the boy for the first time. “Billy, go back to the house. You’re grounded.”

The boy – Billy – finally looked up, staring at his father in disbelief. “But…”

“Do as I say. Now!” Buffy watched the boy turn around and leave without another word, a moment later entering the house next to hers and slamming the door shut behind him. The man turned to look at her again, opened his mouth to say something, then seemed to decide against it and followed his son towards the house.

Buffy stared after him, mouth open, then let out a groan as realization finally hit her. It looked like she had just met her new neighbors.


TBC

2


“I’m telling you, guys, I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life!” Buffy slumped back on the chair next to her best friend; Willow Rosenberg. She had been standing behind the counter at the Double Meat Palace for the last four hours and was happy to be able to sit down for a moment. Willow gave her a sympathetic smile, having already heard the whole story about Buffy’s new neighbors.

Xander Harris – who was sitting at the opposite side of the table – took a big bite of his large burger and chuckled a little. “Talk about making a good first impression.”

“It’s not funny, Xander!” Buffy glared at him. “The kid gave me this whole sob-story about his parents being dead and I totally fell for it. Then his father showed up, looking at me like I was some monster, just about to kidnap the boy or something.”

Willow couldn’t help but giggle, then stopped as she saw the look on Buffy’s face. “Sorry.”

“At least he got really mad at the kid for lying like that.” Buffy took a small sip of Willow’s diet coke. “He was all ‘you’re grounded!’ and ‘do as I say!’ Looks like he’s got some temper. Probably needs it with a kid like that.” She took another sip.

“You don’t think he’d hurt the boy, do you?” Willow got a concerned look on her face.

“What? No!” Buffy frowned. “You think? No, he wouldn’t. I mean, he was totally gorgeous!” She pouted a little as Xander snorted. “Well, he was! And I know; so not the point.” Xander opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted as Buffy let out a gasp. “Oh my God, he’s here!”

“What? Where?” Xander glanced around the room as Buffy quickly hid behind Willow. He gave her a confused look.

“Is it the guy with the leather duster?” Willow leaned over the table to get a better look at the man, who had walked over to the almost empty counter. “Oh boy, you weren’t kidding. He’s a total hottie!”

Xander stared at her in disbelief. “Willow, you’re gay!”

“So?” Willow slumped back on the chair. “Doesn’t mean I’m blind.” She watched Buffy let out a sigh of relief as the blond man waited by the counter, then quickly left the restaurant with his bags of food without even looking their way. “Why didn’t you go talk to him?”

“Yeah, right!” Buffy rolled her eyes. “Why would I wanna do that? He was totally rude to me. Besides…” She shuddered. “I have a cow on my head!” She ripped the ridiculous hat off her head, glaring at the Double Meat logo. Willow smiled.

“I don’t see what the fuss is about.” Xander looked from Buffy to Willow. “The guy was not that hot. I mean, come on! Bleached blond hair and black leather? Can you say Billy Idol wannabe? Although I have to admit, I can see why some people would fall for that look. Strong and mysterious and sort of compact, but well-muscled…” He stopped with a frown. “Okay, that came out a little more gay than I intended.”

Buffy stared at him for a moment, than shook her head in amusement. “Right.” She got up with a sigh. “Time to go back to work.”


*~*~*

“Billy!” Spike put the greasy bags down on the table, rolling his eyes at the sound of loud music coming from upstairs. He walked over to the stairs and yelled; “Billy! Turn the bloody music off and get down here!” Then he returned to the kitchen with a sigh, convinced that the boy had heard him perfectly well the first time. Ever since they got back inside, about three hours ago, Billy had been sulking in his room.

After waiting patiently for almost five minutes, Spike finally heard footsteps coming down the stairs and a moment later, Billy entered the kitchen. “What?”

Spike ignored the hostile note in the boy’s voice. “Got us some food.” He gestured towards the bags on the table. “Burgers and fries.”

“Not hungry.” Billy turned around to leave, then stopped in the doorway. “And I hate burgers and fries.”

“That’s bollocks, since when?!” Taking a deep breath, Spike silently counted to ten. “Fine. Have it your way.” Suddenly, he was desperate to change the subject. It was bloody typical; how he was never able to have a normal conversation with his son anymore without arguing. “So…” He paused for a moment. “First day at the new school tomorrow, right? We’re leaving at seven-thirty, don’t wanna be late.”

“I wanna take the school bus.” Billy got a stubborn look on his face. “I'm almost eleven years old. You don’t have to drive me there like I’m some little kid.” Spike opened his mouth to object, but Billy went on; “I’ve already checked what time the bus is leaving.”

Of course you have, Spike thought, bitterly. Not like anyone else would bother to do it for you. He felt a headache coming up. “Billy, it’s your first day. I don’t want you to…”

“I said, I’m taking the bloody bus!” Billy glared at him. “I don’t care what you say. You never listen to me, so why should I listen to you?”

“Hey!” Spike gave him a warning look. “That’s not fair. And watch your mouth!”

Billy ignored him and headed for the door. “I’m out of here.”

“Oh, no you don’t.” Spike grabbed his arm to stop him. “What part of ‘grounded’ didn’t you get? You’re not leaving the house, until you’ve learned not to follow complete strangers.”

The boy let out a snort. “Name’s Buffy. She lives next door. She has a white cat, named Princess Leia. Anything else you wanna know?”

“That’s not…!” Spike stopped with a frown. “She named her cat Princess Leia?” He shook his head, as if to clear it. “Never mind, that’s not the blo…” Quickly correcting himself, he started over; “That’s not the point. You don’t just walk away without telling me where you’re going.”

“Whatever.” Billy rolled his eyes. “I’m going out.”

Spike crossed his arms over his chest and stepped in the boy’s way. “No, you’re not.”

“What are you gonna do?” Billy gave him a challenging look. “Hit me? Lock me up in my soddin’ room?”

Staring at him for a moment, Spike then let out a frustrated sigh. “Billy, we’re not having this conversation. I’m your father; you’ll do as I say.”

“Not bloody likely!” Billy glared at his father before storming out of the room.

Spike started to follow, then stopped and slammed his fist down at the kitchen table. A moment later, he heard the loud slam from the door to the boy’s room, and he let out a bitter laugh. Sometimes he wondered why he was even trying. He had thought that things would be better now; that he and Billy would be able to start over here in this town, away from the past. But obviously he was wrong.

He hated the fact that everything was so screwed up. So much had happened, bad things, and he had no idea how to make things right again. The way Billy was acting around him was so damn frustrating, but Spike knew that he couldn’t really blame the boy. It was his fault, not Billy’s. He groaned as he recalled the events back in LA, knowing that he had handled things terribly wrong. But he could still change things, right? Spike had to believe that. Sure, he had made a mistake, he was well aware of that. But things were different now. He could be a better man here, a better father. And Billy would never have to pay the price for his actions again.


TBC

3


Buffy spent the next couple of days avoiding her new neighbors, then, on the third day, told herself she was being ridiculous. Surely the first meeting could have gone better, but they were her neighbors after all; she couldn’t stay out of their way forever. She was on her way home from work when she realized that she had stopped outside the large, white house next to hers and decided to just go over there and introduce herself.

Suddenly she heard a soft meowing sound, and a moment later, Princess Leia peeked out from one of the bushes. “Hey, Princess, what are you doing here?” Buffy was a little surprised, since the cat rarely left the safety of their own front yard. When she didn’t get an answer – not that she had expected one – she bent down and scooped the small cat up in her arms. “Come on, girl. Let’s go say hi to our new neighbors, shall we?”

She found Billy sitting on the front porch. When she approached him, the boy looked up, obviously surprised to see her. Buffy nodded in greeting. “Hello, Billy.”

He got a suspicious look on his face. “You here to yell at me?”

“No.” Buffy frowned. “Why would I yell at you?” Billy just shrugged, and she rolled her eyes. “Oh, you mean because you deliberately lied to me the other day?” The boy had the decency to look ashamed. “Nah, I’m over it. Just don’t do it again.”

Billy gave her a doubtful look, obviously having not expected to get away with it that easily, but didn’t say anything more and Buffy realized that she wouldn’t get any kind of apology from him. Still, she decided to let it go; the boy clearly knew he had done wrong and she hoped he had learned his lesson. She smiled a little. “Your dad got pretty mad at you, didn’t he?”

Shrugging again, Billy cast a longing look at the cat, still in Buffy’s arms. “He always gets mad. Yells a lot.” He paused. “Mostly when I do something I shouldn’t.”

“Really?” Buffy didn’t know what else to say. She had already gotten the impression that the boy’s father had quite the temper; Billy’s words now only confirmed her suspicions. Suddenly she found herself being curious to whether or not his mother was still in the picture, but didn’t want to ask. Hesitating for a moment, she then quickly made up her mind. “Is your dad home?”

“He’s inside.” Billy glanced at the cat again. “You got any other animals?”

“Nope.” Buffy shook her head with a smile. “Well, except for Mr. Gordo.” Billy looked confused so she hurried to explain; “He’s a pink, stuffed pig my dad got me for my seventh birthday. That was the year before he left and the last birthday gift he ever gave me.” She was quiet for a moment, then forced the painful memories to the back of her mind and put on another smile, although it was a bit strained. “So, do you have any pets?”

The boy shook his head. “No.”

“Well, would you like to?” Buffy realized that she actually enjoyed talking to this boy. Which she found to be kind of strange, since she had never been much for being around kids. When all her friends used to baby-sit after school, she chose to make her extra cash by walking the neighbors’ dogs around the block. She had always preferred animals to children.

Billy shrugged, something Buffy found he did a lot. “Dunno. Never really thought about it.”

“I’ve always loved animals.” Buffy smiled. “When I was a kid, I promised myself that I would have the house full of cats and dogs and bunnies one day.”

“Why don’t you, then?” Billy looked interested.

“I grew up.” Buffy laughed a little. “I realized I just didn’t have enough time. So, it’s just me and Leia.”

Billy nodded. Then he asked; “Do you have kids?”

Buffy was a little taken aback by the blunt question, but quickly covered up, realizing he was just being curious. “Nope.”

“Why not?”

The conversation had started to take a turn she felt most uncomfortable with. “I don’t think I’d be a very good mom.” Billy opened his mouth, but she beat him to it, not wanting to have to answer any more personal questions. “Look, Billy, I really should go say hello to your dad. You said he was inside?”

The boy looked a little disappointed for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah.”

Buffy noticed that he was once again glancing at the cat, and an idea suddenly occurred to her. “You know what? Your dad might not want me to bring Leia into the house. Would you mind watching her for me until I get back?”

Billy’s face lit up. “Yeah, okay.”

He reached out for the cat, and it was then Buffy noticed the huge, dark bruise on his forearm. Her eyes narrowed and she leaned a little closer to get a better look. When Billy realized what it was that had caught her attention, he quickly pulled his sleeve down. Buffy gave him a concerned look. “Billy, what happened?”

Suddenly the boy wouldn’t meet her eyes. “I fell.”

Buffy frowned, finding the possibility of getting such a bruise simply from falling highly unlikely. “It looked more like someone grabbed you really hard.”

Billy was silent for a moment, looking slightly alarmed. Then he looked down at the cat in his lap. “No, I just fell. There was no one around. I was climbing the monkey-bars at school and then I just…” He hesitated. “… slipped. All by myself.”

Now she was convinced that he was lying by the way he still refused to look her in the eyes. And when he finally did look up, he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. “Billy…” Buffy bit her lip, thoughtfully, suddenly recalling Willow’s words the other day. “You don’t think he’d hurt the boy, do you?” She had immediately dismissed the idea at the time, now she suddenly became uncertain. Could the boy’s father actually be the one responsible? Buffy didn’t want to think that was the case, but after all, Billy had even said so himself; his dad was always angry and yelling.

She took a deep breath, suddenly wishing she would have just kept avoiding this place. It was a cowardly thing to wish, she was well aware of that, but she was starting to find the situation even more uncomfortable than before. She could be wrong, right? Maybe the boy really had gotten that bruise from falling down the monkey-bars. But then there was that little voice inside her head, telling her that was just not possible. Judging by the size and the location of the bruise, someone must have done that to him. There was just no way Billy could have fallen and hit his arm on that exact spot.

Buffy shook her head, as if to clear it. There was no point standing out here, speculating in what happened, since it was obvious that the kid wouldn’t tell her. She glanced towards the front door. It was time to go say hello to Billy’s father.


TBC

4



Spike had just stepped out of the shower when the doorbell rang. Reaching for a large towel, he quickly dried himself off and pulled on a pair of jeans. The doorbell rang again and he let out a sigh, leaving the bathroom and heading towards the front door without bothering to put on a shirt. Pulling the door open, he found himself standing face to face with the blonde woman who had been talking to Billy the other day. He gave her a questioning look.

Buffy had a polite smile plastered to her face, but when the door swung open, her smile disappeared and she could do little more than stare at the shirtless man in front of her. He looked surprised to see her and she realized that he was obviously waiting for her to say something. Unfortunately, her mind had suddenly become completely blank. Why was she here again? Well, it certainly wasn’t so she could stand in the doorway like an idiot, ogling her new neighbor. Even if said neighbor, who she had already stated was beyond gorgeous, looked like a Greek God with his shirt off. That bastard!

“Um…” She desperately tried to force her mouth to form some kind of words. “Hi, we met the other day. I’m, uh… My name is…” Oh God, was she drooling?!

“Buffy, right?” The man looked a little amused, but not at all surprised by her reaction.

Buffy suppressed the urge to roll her eyes; of course he would be aware of how damn attractive he was. Then she frowned. Did he just call her Buffy? She shook her head, as if to clear it. “Yeah. Um, how do you know my name? I don’t remember introducing myself.”

“You didn’t.” He watched her, a little curiously. “Billy told me.”

Of course the boy had told him. Buffy found herself wondering if it was possible to feel even more like an idiot. “Right, of course. I…”

Spike interrupted her and took a step back, obviously taking pity on her. “Wanna come in?” She opened her mouth to object, but he went on; “Name’s Spike, by the way. Guess I completely forgot my manners the other day. I apologize.” He reached out his hand in greeting.

She looked at his outstretched hand a little suspiciously, then accepted it after a moment’s hesitation. Now he was smiling at her. Why did he have to do that? Buffy had already decided that this man was a jerk; why did he have to make it so much harder for her to dislike him by smiling and being all… nice? She forced back a sigh, finally taking a hesitant step into the house, and Spike closed the door behind her.

Spike suddenly seemed to be a little uncomfortable. “Right, well…” He hesitated. “Just gonna go put on a shirt or something, be right back. Excuse me.” He left the room before Buffy got the chance to object and she let out a sigh of relief; clearly her mind was not working quite yet. Because she was so not disappointed that he had finally decided to cover up that lean, yet muscular body of his. Not at all. And she was not drooling again, either. Yes, she was. Dammit!

A moment later, Spike was back, now fully dressed. He gave her an almost shy smile. “Can I get you anything? Coffee? Tea?”

She found herself smiling back, much to her irritation. “No thanks, I don’t wanna be any trouble. I just came here to introduce myself and, well…” She finished with a shrug; “Welcome to the neighborhood!”

He chuckled a little. “That’s very nice of you. Thank you.” A somewhat uncomfortable silence followed.

Buffy finally cleared her throat. “I, um, ran into Billy outside, we talked a little. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Course not.” Spike suddenly looked a little ashamed. “Look, I’m sorry ‘bout the other day.”

She frowned, not sure if he was apologizing for his behavior, or for Billy’s. “That’s okay.” Then she took a deep breath. “I couldn’t help but notice that he had a large, nasty looking bruise on the inside of his arm. For some reason, he didn’t seem to want me to see it.”

Spike looked a little surprised for a moment, then shrugged. “Kids get hurt all the time. Must’ve gotten it at school.”

“He told me he fell.” Buffy watched his face, closely, wanting to study his reaction. “But I don’t think that’s what really happened. It kinda looked like someone grabbed him, hard.”

He just looked at her with a blank expression on his face, clearly not yet understanding where she was going. Buffy let out a sigh. “Billy says you get mad and yell at him a lot.”

For a moment Spike just stared at her, mouth open. Finally he seemed to realize just what it was she was indicating. “You think I have something to do with it, is that it?” Buffy lowered her eyes, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. He went on before she could say anything; “You come here, to my bloody house, accusing me of hurting my own son?!”

He looked her right in the eyes and she found herself taking a step back, not so much out of fear as of guilt and shame. His face was a mixture of shock and horror and Buffy immediately realized that there was just no way anyone could fake such a genuinely hurt expression. Suddenly she felt like the most horrible person in the world, wishing she had never brought it up. “I’m sorry, I…”

“You’re sorry?” He let out a snort, staring at her in disbelief. “You just accused me of beating up my own kid, and now you’re sorry?!”

Swallowing hard, Buffy desperately tried to keep the tears from falling. “I was wrong, okay? I didn’t want to believe it, but he was obviously lying about what happened…” Her voice trailed off and she looked down at her feet, not able to meet his eyes any longer.

“So, naturally you assumed I did it?” Spike crossed his arms over his chest, nodding in understanding.

She swallowed again. “I…”

Ignoring her, he went on, eyes on the floor as he spoke, quietly; “Billy’s all I got. I love him. I would never hurt him.”

For some reason, Buffy just knew he was telling the truth, and words could not describe how absolutely awful she felt in that moment. “I believe you.”

He looked up then, a cold expression on his face. “Get out.”

“Spike, wait.” She gave him a pleading look, afraid she would start crying. “I’m really, really sorry. Can’t we just…?”

“I said, get the fuck out!” He glared at her furiously and walked over to the door, jerking it open.

Buffy opened her mouth, then closed it again, nodding miserably. “I’ll go, I’m sorry.” Then she fled out through the door without another word.

Spike remained in the doorway for a moment, eyes closed and resting his forehead against the door. Then he stepped out on the porch, immediately spotting the boy in the far end of the backyard. “Billy?” Suddenly he felt beyond tired. “Get in here for a moment, I wanna talk to you.”


TBC

5


Billy gave his father a questioning look as he stepped through the door, but didn’t say anything. Spike crossed his arms over his chest. “Pull up your sleeve.”

The boy looked confused for a moment, then rolled his eyes, understanding dawning on him. “What, Buffy told you? It’s nothing.”

Taking a deep breath, Spike made a silent promise not to lose his temper. “Show me.” Letting out an annoyed sigh, Billy reluctantly pulled up his sleeve a bit, revealing the large bruise on his arm. Spike took a step closer and his eyes widened. “Must’ve hurt like hell.”

Quickly pulling the sleeve back down, Billy shrugged. “Told you; s’nothing. Didn’t hurt at all.”

Spike found that very hard to believe, but nodded. “I see.” He paused. “Mind telling me what happened?”

Billy was quiet for a moment, then lowered his eyes to the floor. “Don’t wanna talk about it.”

“That right?” Spike gave his son a patient look and went on; “Cause according to Buffy, I’m the one who did that to you.”

Immediately raising his head, Billy stared at his father in shock. “What? What did she say?”

“That’s not relevant.” Spike waved his hand in dismissal. “Question is; what did you tell her?”

Billy looked genuinely surprised. “I… I didn’t…” His voice trailed off as he was clearly at a loss for words.

Spike just looked at him for a moment, then let out a bitter laugh. “Hate me that much, do you?”

The boy’s eyes went wide. “What do you mean?”

Sighing, Spike walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. “I know I haven’t always been a very good dad, and God knows I screwed up back in LA. But I would never hurt you, Billy. Ever. Don’t you know that?”

Swallowing hard, Billy nodded. “Yeah.”

“Don’t know what you said to Buffy to make her think I had something to do with that.” Spike gestured towards Billy’s arm. “Hell, I don’t even wanna know. But what do you think’s gonna happen if people around here start thinking I’m hurting you?”

The boy just looked at him, a blank expression on his face, so Spike went on; “I’ll tell you what’s gonna happen. Sooner or later, someone’s gonna call the Social Services. And then they’ll come here and take you away. Cause they’re not gonna let you live with me if they think I’m hurting you. You understand?”

Billy swallowed again. “I never said anything like that. Honest. I don’t know why Buffy thought…”

Spike interrupted him. “What did you tell her, then?”

At first, Billy didn’t answer. Instead he seemed to concentrate on drawing patterns on the floor with his shoe. Finally, he slowly walked over to the table and slumped down on one of the chairs. “Told her I fell. She didn’t believe me.”

“I see.” Spike paused. “Is that what really happened?”

Billy wouldn’t meet his eyes. “No.”

“So, you’re telling me you lied. Again.” It was not a question; it was a state of fact. “Bloody hell!” Spike let out a frustrated groan. “Why, Billy? How many times have we talked about this?! Lying is bad. It’s wrong. You know that, why can’t you…?”

“It doesn’t matter if I tell the truth or not, does it?” Billy suddenly jumped up from the chair, glaring at his father. “You don’t believe me, anyway!”

“That’s bollocks, I…!” Spike immediately became silent as realization finally hit him. “Oh.” Suddenly he felt like someone had just punched him, hard, in the stomach. “So that’s what this is about.” He had thought they would be able to let go of the past and move on, now when they had finally left LA. But now he realized how naïve he had been, thinking that things could ever be that simple. No matter how eager he was to just forget what happened – if possible, to just completely erase the last couple of years from his memory – it was obvious that Billy wouldn’t forgive him that easily. And Spike couldn’t really blame him.

There were no excuses for how he had handled things, he was well aware of that. He had simply refused to see what was right in front of him. Now, afterwords, he didn’t understand how he could have been so blind. Back then, when he had finally been forced to see the truth, his guilt and self loathing knew no limits. Of course, by then it was already too late, the damage was already done. And now he had no choice, but to accept and live with that. Living with the painful fact that his pathetic and desperate attempt of clinging to a love that hadn’t been returned for years, if ever, could have damaged his own son beyond repair and most likely scarred him for life.

For a minute or two, neither of them said anything. Finally Billy spoke, quietly; “I don’t wanna move back to LA.”

“What?” Spike frowned, not understanding where this was coming from. “We’re not moving back to LA. Why would you think…?”

Ignoring him, Billy went on; “I’ll tell ‘em what really happened. Social Services. If they come here. I don’t want them to take me away.” His bottom lip was trembling.

“No one’s gonna take you away!” Spike closed his eyes for a moment, lowering his voice as he went on; “I’m trying here, Billy, I really am. But you’re not making it very easy for me. Know you’re blaming me for what happened, hell, I’ll blame myself for the rest of my life. Just give me a chance to make things right.”

Billy was quiet for a moment. Then he glanced at Spike. “How long’s Mum gonna stay at the hospital?”

“I…” For a moment, Spike was taken aback, having no idea what to say. He let out a sigh. “I don’t know.”

Nodding in acceptance, Billy seemed to be thinking hard about something. “Then what? Is she coming here?”

“No!” Spike really didn’t want to have this particular conversation right now, but knew he didn’t have much of a choice. “Already told you; your mum’s not gonna live with us anymore. When she gets better, I’m gonna go back and see her, just so she can sign the divorce papers. We talked about this.”

Billy nodded again. “Do I have to go? When you go see her?”

Spike shook his head, not missing the look of relief on the boy’s face. He knew exactly how Billy felt; he didn’t look forward to facing his wife again, anymore than Billy did. But it would just be one more time, then he would hopefully never have to see that bitch again. And then, when the divorce was final, maybe he and Billy would be able to truly move on. Either that, or the painful memories and the guilt would just keep haunting him for the rest of his life.


TBC

6


Buffy looked around the crowded room, holding back a sigh. She had agreed to meet up with her friends at the popular night club – The Bronze – but they had been there for less than an hour and she was already starting to feel like the fifth wheel, just like she had known she would. Not that she was jealous or anything, but sometimes she just really hated the fact that both her best friends were in a serious relationship.

“So, Buffy, how’s it going with that hot, sexy neighbor of yours? Have you boinked him yet?” Anya Jenkins took a small sip from her drink, looking at Buffy expectantly.

“Anya!” Letting out a nervous laugh, Xander turned to his girlfriend, giving her a stern look. Anya rolled her eyes, but remained silent.

Willow suppressed a giggle and turned to her girlfriend – Tara Maclay. “You should see this guy, Tara, he’s a major hottie!” Tara just raised a brow and Willow blushed. “For a guy, I mean. Not that I was looking.” She quickly reached over and gave her girlfriend a soft peck on the cheek before adding; “I think Buffy has a crush on him.”

“Hey! Sitting right here, you know.” Blushing furiously, Buffy glanced around the table. “I do not have a crush on anyone! And Anya? You haven’t even seen this guy. How can you possibly know what he’s like?”

Shrugging, Anya nibbled on the olive from her martini. “Xander told me.”

“Okay, just so we’re clear?” Xander waited until he was sure he had everyone’s attention. “I’m pretty sure I never used the words ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’ when I described him.”

His girlfriend didn’t even look up, just waved her hand in dismissal. “Maybe not out loud, but it was pretty obvious.” She took another sip from her glass. “It’s a known fact that when a man complains about another man for no reason, he’s actually attracted to him.” Oblivious of the shocked – and somewhat amused – looks on her friends’ faces, she went on; “Not that I feel the least bit threatened or anything. Xander can look as much as he likes, as long as he makes it up to me later, during sex. Like last night, when we dressed up in costumes and…”

Xander choked on his beer. “Too much information, sweetie!” He cleared his throat. “Anya, I’m not attracted to the guy. Buffy is, remember?”

“Oh, yeah.” Anya nodded, then turned to Buffy with a bright smile. “Good luck with that. I hope he gives you many satisfying orgasms!” Xander buried his face in his hands with a groan.

Buffy stared at Anya in shock, her cheeks turning bright red. “Excuse me?! I already told you; I’m not attracted to this guy! Why are we even having this conversation?”

“Because, Buffy…” Xander leaned across the table, pointing at something over Buffy’s left shoulder as he whispered, loudly: “He’s right there, by the bar.”


*~*~*

After paying for his beer, Spike headed for one of the few empty tables left in the club, and sat down. This place was nothing compared to the many night clubs back in LA, but he wasn’t about to complain. At least they served beer, and hot, spicy Buffalo wings, and that was enough for him. He took a big swig from his bottle, pleased to notice that it was ice cold.

“Hi.” He looked up, frowning when he saw Buffy standing next to his table, and couldn’t help but notice how nervous she looked. He gave her a questioning look and she managed a small smile. “I’m here with my friends. I saw you at the bar, and…” She hesitated. “Where’s Billy?”

He raised a brow. “What, you’re worried I left him alone in the house while I’m here getting pissed?” She opened her mouth, but he rolled his eyes and raised a hand to stop her. “Second thought, don’t answer that, s’probably exactly what you think. He’s spending the night at a friend’s house.”

“Oh.” Buffy was quiet for a moment, not sure what to say. She glanced at the chair next to him. “Mind if I sit down?”

“Why?” He gave her a cold look. “What are you gonna accuse me of now?”

“Nothing!” Buffy glared at him, then swallowed. “Actually, I came here to apologize. Again. But if you’re gonna be like this…” She turned around to leave.

“Wait.” Spike put his hand on her arm to stop her. When she looked at him, he sighed. “Probably would’ve reacted the same way. Apology accepted.”

Buffy gave him a hopeful look. “Really?” She let out a sigh of relief when he nodded. “Good! Thank you.”

Nodding again, Spike hesitated for a moment before gesturing towards the empty chair. She smiled a little and sat down. Seeing a blonde waitress heading in their direction, Spike quickly raised his hand and waved her over, looking at Buffy. “What do you want?”

She started to object. “Really, I don’t think…”

“Come on…” He interrupted her, a teasing note in his voice. “Have a drink, will ya? S’on me.”

The waitress introduced herself as Harmony and gave Spike a flirtatious smile – which he chose to ignore – before glancing at Buffy, a bored look on her face. “How about a ‘Shirley Temple’?”

Buffy opened her mouth, but Spike beat her to it. “She’ll have a ‘Screaming Orgasm’.” Seeing the shocked expression on Buffy’s face, he tried to hide his amusement and added, calmly; “It’s a drink, pet.”

Beyond embarrassed, Buffy quickly looked away. “Oh. I knew that.” She cleared her throat. “Yeah. I’ll have… one of those.”

Spike chuckled quietly, for some reason finding Buffy’s embarrassment adorable. Then he turned back to Harmony. “You heard the lady. And be a luv and bring me another beer.” The blonde batted her long eyelashes at him and left.

“So…” Buffy suddenly felt shy and couldn’t understand why. “How do you like it here in Sunnydale so far?”

He shrugged. “S’alright. Beats LA.”

“Really?” Buffy gave him a doubtful look. “You wouldn’t say that if you’d lived here your entire life.” Spike opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted as Harmony just returned with their drinks. Buffy nodded in thanks and took a small sip. “Mm. I like this.”

“Thought you would.” Spike finished his first beer and took a swig from the new one. “Did you know they have this onion thing, shaped like a flower? Bloody brilliant.”

She smiled. “Yeah, my cousin Andrew has a thing for those. He used to stalk the manager until the poor guy couldn’t take it anymore and gave him the recipe.” Spike got a thoughtful look on his face, clearly considering the same thing, and she rolled her eyes. “Never understood what it is about those onion thingies. They’re not that good.” She took another, bigger sip from her drink. “This, on the other hand, is delicious. You can’t even tell there’s any alcohol in it.” Then she frowned, giving him an uncertain look. “There is alcohol in it, right?”

Spike chuckled. “Yeah, there is. Might wanna slow down a bit.”

Buffy pouted. “Why? You’re afraid I can’t hold my liquor?”

“I dunno.” He gave her a challenging look. “Can you?”

Snorting, Buffy quickly downed the rest of the contents in her glass. “I can drink you under the table, mister! Order me another one, and I’ll show you.”

He was about to object, then shrugged. “Fine by me.” Waving at the waitress again, he leaned back in the chair, glancing at the pretty, blonde girl in front of him. No matter how hard he tried to resist and tell himself otherwise, he was getting more and more intrigued by this girl by the minute.


TBC

7



About an hour later, Buffy was giggling, madly, at something Spike had just said. Only problem was, she couldn’t for her life remember what it was. But she knew it had to be something extremely funny. Because Spike was a funny guy. And he had the most amazing eyes… Pushing her empty glass away and eagerly searching the room for the waitress, she completely missed how Spike just barely managed to save the glass from falling down on the floor. Her face lit up when she spotted Harmony in the crowd and she jumped up from the chair. “Hey! You! Waitress person! Get over here!”

“Um, Buffy?” Spike put his hand on her arm to get her attention. She turned to him, a questioning look on her face. “Think you’ve had enough, pet.”

“No!” She glared at him for a moment, then sat back down with a pout. “You think I’m drunk, don’t you?”

“Well…” He raised a brow. “Aren’t you?”

Letting out a snort, Buffy stood up again. “I’m so not drunk and I can prove it to you right now. Watch me walk in a straight line!” She took a couple of wobbly steps, and would have crashed right into the table next to theirs if Spike hadn’t reacted immediately and jumped up to catch her.

Trying to hide his amusement, he gave the young couple sitting at the other table an apologetic look before turning back to her. “You were saying?”

“You’re mean. Let go of me!” Buffy pouted again and was just about to pull away from him when his muscular arms suddenly caught her attention. A wide smile spread on her face. “Wow! You must be working out.” She glanced down at his black t-shirt and cocked her head to the side, as if she was trying to see right through the fabric.

Now it was Spike’s turn to snort, although he still appeared to be quite amused. “Okay, that’s it. Much as I enjoy having a pretty girl ogling my abs, you’re gonna feel like hell in the morning if you keep this up.” Seeing how she opened her mouth to object, he quickly stopped her by putting a finger on her lips. “Ah-ah! Been fun and all, and I have to admit, watching you do your own version of the Macarena was bloody hilarious, but I think it’s time to put an end to this and call it a night. In fact…” He paused, frowning as she had started nibbling, playfully, on his finger, and cleared his throat. “Right. Being the gentleman that I am, I’m walking you home.”

“You? A gentleman?!” Buffy burst out laughing. “Gentleman, my ass! If you were, you’d be on your way to the bar as we speak, getting me another drink. Instead you’re standing here, arguing. Quite rude, if you ask me. And you know what?” Leaning against him, she studied him, closely. “I think you’re drunk!”

Spike could feel a headache coming up. “That right?”

“Yup!” Buffy nodded, firmly. “You should see yourself; can’t even stand still. You keep spinning around and…” She interrupted herself, frowning as she looked around the room. “Hey, the whole freaking room’s spinning. Tell it to stop!” She slumped back down on the chair, resting her head on the table.

“Come on, luv, up you go.” Gently tugging on her hand a couple of times, Spike finally managed to pull her back up on her feet. Then he held back a sigh as she practically collapsed against him in a fit of giggles.

Suddenly she stopped and pulled back a little, looking him right in the eyes and gently ran her fingers over his scarred eyebrow. “Did you know you have a scar? It’s really sexy.” She swayed a little and started giggling again, clinging to Spike’s arm in a desperate attempt of trying to keep her balance.

“Right then.” Realizing that Buffy would clearly not be leaving the club willingly, Spike easily scoped her up in his arms and headed towards the exit.

“Hey, put me down! I can walk fine by myself, thank you very much,” Buffy slurred and, despite her words, put her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder. Spike couldn’t resist the opportunity to lean a little closer and sniff at her hair, inhaling her sweet scent. He immediately felt himself get hard and shook his head, as if to clear it.

“Buffy?”

Buffy raised her head and found herself looking into Willow’s worried eyes. The red-head was suddenly standing right next to her and Spike, a concerned expression on her face. “Will!” She tried to smile at her best friend, but it came out more like a grimace. “Can’t stay. Gotta take Spike home.” Gesturing for her friend to step closer, she lowered her voice as she went on; “He’s very drunk, but don’t tell him! He doesn’t know.”

“Oh, okay…” Willow gave her an assuring smile before glancing at Spike, a worried look on her face.

He sighed. “Don’t worry ‘bout her, Red. I’ll make sure she’ll get home nice and safely, yeah?”

Turning her face slowly towards him, Buffy looked at him in confusion. “You don’t know where I live!”

Spike couldn’t help but chuckle; she was just too adorable for words. “Your house s’just next to mine, pet. Neighbors, remember?”

“Oh, right.” Buffy nodded, as if she had just remembered. “Well, okay then.” With that, she yawned and put her head back down on his shoulder.


*~*~*

By the time they had finally reached her house, Buffy had sobered up enough to be able to walk by herself. She tilted her head back, enjoying the feeling of the cold air against her face. Taking a few deep breaths, she finally glanced at Spike, and noticed that he was watching her, closely. Suddenly she felt almost shy.

He smiled at her, but still looked a little concerned. “Feeling better?”

She nodded with a grimace. “Yeah. Sorry. Guess I can’t hold my liquor after all.”

Waving his hand in dismissal, Spike looked away for a moment. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. I had a great time tonight.”

“Really?” Buffy gave him a doubtful look. “Even though I almost threw up on your boots?” She blushed at the memory, having never seen anyone jump out of the way so quickly.

“Well, you missed ‘em with an inch or two.” Spike chuckled. “And I still had a great time. Believe it or not, I’ve seen worse.”

Buffy smiled, relieved. Then she glanced at her house, wondering if it would be inappropriate to ask Spike to come in for a while. For some reason, she didn’t want the night to end just yet. She bit her lip, nervously. “Do you, um, would you like to come in? I could make us some coffee.” Then she had to cringe at her words. Coffee?! Was that really the best she could come up with? She didn’t even like coffee for crying out loud! And what if he thought she was hitting on him? Suddenly she wished she had never brought it up.

“Yeah, sure. Why not?”

She let out the breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. Okay, she could do this. She wanted to get to know Spike better, and now she had her chance. Giving him a small smile, she gestured for him to follow her into the house.


TBC

8


“So, what do you think?” Buffy leaned back against the large pillows on the couch.

“It’s great.” Spike looked around the room, clearly impressed. “Think your house s’even bigger than mine.”

Buffy let out a nervous giggle. “I, uh, meant the coffee.” A pause. “I don’t make coffee very often.”

“Oh.” Spike looked down at the steaming beverage in front of him – which he had yet to touch. Not that he was normally picky or anything, but he could clearly see the bottom of the cup through the very light brown, almost transparent liquid. He cleared his throat. “Looks… really good, pet.” She raised her eyebrows, looking at him expectantly. Not wanting to hurt Buffy’s feelings, he hesitantly picked up the cup and took a very small sip, desperately trying not to grimace. He even managed to force a smile. “See? Loved it!”

She gave him a doubtful look. “You hated it.”

“No!” Spike shook his head, trying to look convincing. “Really, s’not bad. Just…” He searched his mind for something to say, preferably as little more positive than ‘bloody awful’. Unfortunately, he came up with nothing.

Rolling her eyes, Buffy waved her hand in dismissal. “You don’t have to finish it.” Seeing the relieved look on his face, she pouted a little.

“So…” Spike quickly decided to change the subject. “You, um, been livin’ here long?”

“My whole life.” Buffy picked up her own cup, sniffed at the so called coffee, and put it back down on the table with a grimace. “My mom died last year. Luckily, she left me enough money so I wouldn’t have to sell the house.”

“Oh, God, I’m sorry, luv.” Spike had been really curious about why Buffy was clearly living all by herself in such a big house, but felt horrible for bringing up bad memories.

“It’s okay.” She put on a strained smile. “Was kinda hard at first, but I’m dealing.” Now it was her turn to change the subject, and he didn’t object. “What about you?”

Spike raised a brow. “What, have I lived here long? No, just about a week.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “I know that!” She couldn’t help but giggle. “I meant; where are you from, how come you moved here, stuff like that. Humor me, I’m curious. What’s your story?”

He was quiet for a moment. “Not very interesting, I’m afraid. Hey, look at the time!” Glancing at his watch, Spike started to get up, but Buffy grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Okay, I get it. None of my business. Sorry.”

Letting out a sigh, Spike slumped back down on the couch. “Don’t mean to be rude or anything. It’s just that things got kinda bad back in LA. Don’t wanna bore you with the details.” Or scare you away, he thought.

“So, you’re from LA.” Buffy smiled a little. “Look, the last thing you have to worry about is me getting bored. If you don’t wanna talk about it, I’m fine with that, but…” She hesitated, not really sure of what she was trying to say. A part of her was dying to know all about him, but she didn’t want to be pushy and go too far. After all, they were still practically strangers. But there was just something about this man that fascinated her.

Spike looked at her, and their eyes met. Buffy found herself blushing, and quickly looked away. Okay, what was that about? Sure, Spike was hot, Willow hadn’t exactly been wrong about that, but she wasn’t used to reacting like this around a guy, especially not one she barely knew. She had dated guys before, of course, but even though she had been at least somewhat attracted to most of them, it had just never felt right. And she had yet to meet a guy she would even consider getting involved with for real.

Okay, so she wasn’t exactly a virgin. She had been with guys, done what was expected of her, and then moved on. Hoping that it would get better the next time. Or the time after that. Only problem was, it never did. As far as she was concerned, sex was boring. Highly overrated. And, no matter what Anya claimed, she was fully convinced that the perfect orgasm was nothing more than a myth.

Spike cocked his head to the side, wondering what was going on in that cute little head of hers. Suddenly she seemed almost shy, and he couldn’t understand why. A sudden thought occurred to him; he and Buffy had spent most of the night together at the night club, and he hadn’t even asked her to dance. He couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like, to hold her in his arms as they were swaying, slowly, to the beat of the music. And when the song was over, their lips would meet, and…

Then he snapped out of it, frowning. Since when did he think of Buffy that way? Since the first time you saw her, you ponce! an annoying little voice whispered inside his head. Spike silently told the voice to shut up. He liked Buffy as a friend, but nothing more. Getting involved with women would only lead to pain and heartache; he had learned that the hard way. He wasn’t about to make that mistake again. Once was enough. So, why was he so bloody intrigued by this girl?

“So, how’s Billy adjusting to the new school?”

Buffy’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he was relieved that she had picked such a safe subject, anything to keep his mind away from other, less appropriate things. “Hasn’t said much, but I’m sure he’s doing just fine. He’s a smart kid. Already made some friends.”

She smiled. “That’s great.”

“Yeah.” He nodded. They were both silent for a moment, as nobody seemed to know what else to say.

Finally Buffy cleared her throat. “Hope you don’t mind my asking, but what really happened to Billy’s arm?”

“Billy’s…?” He stopped with a frown. “I… I don’t know. Never told me.” She looked a little surprised at that, and he silently cursed himself, realizing that it had completely slipped his mind. Spike let out a groan. “Bloody great! Didn’t even bother to find out. Some father I am, huh?” He laughed, bitterly.

Lowering her eyes, Buffy shook her head. “Oh, I’m sure…”

He interrupted her. “We’re both thinking it.”

“No, we’re not!” She looked up then, and their eyes met. “Look, Spike, we haven’t known each other that long yet, but I don’t think you’re a bad father. Kids can just be… difficult sometimes, I guess.”

Spike snorted. “Tell me about it,” he muttered. Then he let out a sigh. “Billy’s not a bad kid. He’s just… been through a lot.” He glanced at Buffy, silently begging her to change the subject. But she remained silent, waiting for him to go on. He sighed again. “It’s complicated, all right? Not exactly a conversation you wanna have on a first date.” He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth, mentally kicking himself for his stupidity.

Billy completely forgotten, Buffy stared at him, mouth open. “This is… a date?”

“No!” Spike closed his eyes for a moment, desperately trying to find a way to save the situation. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s not a date. It’s just…” He stopped, giving her a questioning look. “I mean… Do you want it to be?”

“I…” Buffy swallowed hard, suddenly aware of how close they were sitting. But she couldn’t remember if she had been the one moving closer to him, or if it had been the other way around. Not that it made much of a difference, she decided. Because the next moment, their lips finally met in a soft, gentle kiss.


TBC

9


After only a moment's hesitation, Buffy climbed onto Spike's lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, their lips never losing contact. Spike started stroking her back, hesitating briefly before letting his hand slide under her black top, running his fingers gently over her smooth skin. Half expecting her to object, he was prepared to remove his hand, but, much to his relief, Buffy just let out a soft, accepting moan.

He was happily surprised when she suddenly started tugging, eagerly, on his t-shirt. Pulling it off without a word, he tossed it over his shoulder. Then she reached for the edge of her black top, intending to take it off, but he stopped her by taking her hand and brushed his lips softly against her knuckles. "Let me do that," he whispered with a grin, curling his tongue behind his teeth. Buffy just nodded, her mouth suddenly unable to form words.

Pulling the top gently over her head, Spike let it drop to the floor. Then he glanced briefly at her white, lace bra, but instead of removing it, like she had expected, he cupped her cheek and pulled her in for another tender kiss. "Sure 'bout this, pet?" he mumbled.

Their eyes met, and Buffy suddenly panicked, but not because what they were doing felt wrong. Actually, it was quite the opposite. For some reason, the idea of going all the way with Spike had suddenly seemed like the most natural thing in the world. And that was what really scared her. Neighbors or not, she barely knew Spike, and yet he brought out all these feelings inside her, feelings she had never had before, for anyone. Feelings she just didn't understand. And as far as she was concerned, that could never be a good thing, no matter how right it may feel in the heat of the moment.

Feeling her tense up, Spike immediately pulled back a little, giving her a concerned look. "Buffy?"

Climbing off his lap, Buffy jumped up from the couch and started searching for her lost shirt on the floor, anything so she wouldn't have to look at him, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, suddenly beyond embarrassed.

"Don't." Spike let out a sigh. "I didn't mean..." He hesitated, not sure of what to say. It had never been his intention to let things go this far. He was not the kind of guy who would just jump into bed with anybody. But apparently, there was something about Buffy that made his brain stop working. He found his t-shirt and pulled it back on. Glancing at Buffy, he noticed that she was now fully dressed as well. He didn't know whether he should be relieved or disappointed. "Should probably go, s'getting late."

"Spike, wait." Buffy suddenly felt a desperate need to explain. Only problem was, she had no idea how to explain something she didn't understand herself. She swallowed. "It's not you, okay? I just..."

"I'm married." Spike's eyes widened. He had never meant to just blurt it out like that. And judging by the look on Buffy's face, she was just as shocked as he was. He went on before she could say anything; "Okay, that didn't come out the way I intended. Any chance you'll let me explain? I promise, it's not like you think."

"You're... what?" Buffy stared at him in disbelief, her inner struggles completely forgotten. "But..."

"I'm sorry." He sighed. "My marriage may be a bloody joke, but I should've said something sooner. I just didn't want you to think I was using you or anything. I have the divorce papers, I'm just waiting for Dru to sign them." He let out a bitter laugh. "Guess what I'm trying to say is; you don't owe me any explanations."

"Wow." Buffy was quiet for a moment. "How do you expect me to react to this? I mean, it's not like we..." She blushed. "Oh, God! I can't believe we almost..."

"I've never done anything like this before, if that's what you think." He suddenly looked hurt. "It's not like I've ever been unfaithful. In fact, my marriage has been over for a long time. I just..." He shrugged, not knowing exactly what he was trying to say.

Buffy's face softened a little. "Is that why you and Billy came here? Your wife's back in LA?"

"Yeah, but..." Spike hesitated, not sure how much he should reveal. Buffy clearly wanted to know about his past, but how would she react if she found out the truth? Would she ever be able to understand?

"Must be hard for Billy." Buffy got a thoughtful expression on her face. "My parents got divorced when I was a kid. I know what it's like."

"Seriously doubt it." Seeing Buffy's confusion and realizing that she was about to object, Spike went on; "Look, Dru was never..." He let out a tired sigh. "Billy's better off without her. We both are."

Buffy frowned, but didn't say anything. She could tell that Spike was starting to feel uncomfortable, clearly not wanting to have this conversation, but it only made her more curious than ever. That was such a strange thing to say; that a child would be better off without his own mother. And if what Spike said was true; that his marriage had been over for quite some time and he had already gotten the divorce papers, how come the divorce wasn't final? Had his wife refused to sign them? Was she hoping for them to get back together? Buffy had no idea what to think.

Suddenly she felt like her head was spinning. Was this for real? First she had made a complete fool of herself at The Bronze by getting drunk, then she and Spike had made out on her living room couch, and now he had just told her he had a wife. Could this night be any more bizarre? She quickly decided that she didn't want to know the answer to that. Still, for reasons unknown - at least that was what she kept telling herself - she didn't want Spike to leave. Even if they couldn't get romantically involved, they could still be friends, right? And she still wanted to know everything about him.

Spike glanced at Buffy, wishing he knew what she was thinking. She had taken the news about him still being married to Dru better than he had expected, but he still wasn't sure he was ready to tell her the whole story. He was worried about her reaction, but even more so, he was ashamed. Buffy had told him that she didn't think he was a bad father, but he suspected that she would feel differently if she knew what had really happened back in LA. Or to be more accurate; what he had allowed to happen.

The shrill sound of his cell phone snapped him out of his thoughts, and he picked it up from his pocket with a frown. Who could possibly be calling this late? He gave Buffy an apologetic look. "Hello?" Listening for a moment, his eyes widened. "What?!" He listened some more, then let out a groan. "Bloody hell! Sorry. Yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can."

Buffy walked over to him as he cursed loudly and put the phone back down in his pocket. "What's wrong?"

"Gotta go, pet." Spike got up from the couch with a sigh. "Apparently, Billy and the other kid got into a fight. His mother want me to come pick him up."

"Is Billy okay?" Buffy gave him a concerned look.

"Billy's just fine." Spike rolled his eyes. "She said he punched her son in the face. Great! Just what I need right now - more trouble."

"Ouch!" Buffy grimaced. "You better go."

"Yeah." He sighed again. "Guess I'll see you around."

As he headed for the door, Buffy hesitated for a moment before following, putting her hand on his arm to stop him from leaving. "Wait! Um, maybe you and Billy could come over here for dinner some time?"

Spike looked a little surprised, but nodded. "Yeah, sure." He gave Buffy's hand a small squeeze before walking out the door. She remained in the doorway after he had left, a silly smile playing on her lips.


TBC

10


The next morning, Spike had just poured himself some coffee and was sitting at the kitchen table reading the morning paper when Billy entered the room. The boy headed straight for the fridge, ignoring Spike completely. Spike rolled his eyes. “You know, sooner or later, you’re gonna have to talk to me.”

“Why?” Billy glared at him. “S’not like you’re really gonna listen to me, anyway.”

Spike took a deep breath, not wanting to start the morning with a fight. God knew he’d had enough of that last night. “I’ll listen. Just tell me what happened last night.”

Billy got a doubtful look on his face, then shrugged. “Wasn’t my fault.” Waiting for him to continue, Spike remained silent. “Josh was the one who started it. I just...” His voice trailed off and he became quiet.

Raising a brow, Spike nodded patiently. “You punched him in the face. I already know that. What I wanna know is, why?” He paused. “He hit you first?”

“Yeah.” Billy nodded. When Spike didn’t say anything, just kept looking at him, he let out an annoyed sigh. “No. He...” He hesitated for a moment. “He said something. I got mad.”

“I see.” Spike sighed, well aware of the fact that Billy had gotten his short temper from him. “What did he say?” The boy didn’t answer, just kept his eyes stubbornly on the floor. “Fine. You’re grounded.” He frowned. “Again.”

“What?!” Billy stared at him in disbelief. “I told you; it wasn’t my fault!”

“So you say.” Spike got up from the chair and walked over to the kitchen sink with his empty cup. “But so far, all I know is that you hit that kid, just ‘cause he said something you didn’t like. And that’s not acceptable.” He paused for a moment. “You say you want me to listen to you, but you don’t really tell me anything. How the hell am I supposed to know...?”

“He said some stuff about Mum.” Billy interrupted him, angrily. “People are talking. At school. The older kids. Josh heard them, and...”

“All right, all right, I get it.” Spike let out a sigh, realizing that it had just been a matter of time before it would come to this. Opening his mouth, he was about to tell Billy that he shouldn’t let some bloody kids get to him like that, then stopped himself, knowing perfectly well that he probably would have reacted exactly the same way, had he been in the boy’s situation.

Suddenly he had to struggle against the fury welling up inside him. He and Billy had lived in Sunnydale for less than two weeks, and there were already rumors going around. Didn’t the people here have anything better to do? Maybe moving to this sleepy little town hadn’t been such a good idea after all. Maybe he had been a fool for thinking that they would ever be able to start over. Suddenly he felt very tired.

Then he froze in his tracks, realizing that it was probably just a matter of time before Buffy would hear the rumors as well, if she hadn’t already. Maybe he should have explained some things to her last night after all. Completely unaware of his father’s inner struggles, Billy watched him suspiciously, obviously having expected to get an earful. When that didn’t happen, he crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not going to school on Monday. You can’t make me.”

Snapping out of his thoughts, Spike looked at him, incredulously. “Yes, I bloody well can! Not gonna let you use some bleedin’ gossip as an excuse to get out of school. Doesn’t work that way.”

“Fine!” Glaring at him, Billy pulled up his sleeve to reveal the large, fading bruise on his arm. “Wait until this happens again, not that you’d care.”

Closing his eyes for a moment, Spike suddenly felt like an idiot for not putting two and two together sooner. “Kids at school did that to you? Who was it?”

Billy pulled the sleeve back down, not meeting his father’s eyes. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Like hell it doesn’t!” Spike snorted. “Tell me who it was; I’m gonna have a word with their parents. Anyone as much as lays a hand on you again and I’ll...”

“What?” Billy rolled his eyes. “We’ll pretend nothing happened and just move again?”

Spike was quiet for a moment. “Thought you didn’t want to stay in LA.”

The boy shrugged. “Didn’t. But at least I had friends there.”

“Could have here, too, if you’d stop running around punching them in the face!” Spike regretted his words as soon as he saw the hurt look on Billy’s face. “I’m sorry, all right? That wasn’t fair; shouldn’t have said that.”

“I hate you!” Billy rushed past his father out of the room. A moment later, Spike heard the front door slam, loudly. Sighing, he slumped back down on the chair, wondering why he always had to screw things up.


*~*~*

Having almost expected his father to follow, Billy didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed when he didn’t. Of course, that would only lead to more fighting and yelling, he was well aware of that, but at the moment, he was too angry to care. It was just typical, how his dad would always automatically assume the worst of him. Not that Billy really had given him a reason not to, lately, but that was not the point.

A soft ‘meow’ snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked down at the white cat, peeking out from the bushes. Not in the mood, he simply ignored her and sat down on the grass, a few feet away. But, obviously, Princess Leia had other ideas. A moment later, she had left the safety of the bushes and approached him, a little hesitantly. Billy sighed as the cat started poking at him with her little paw, trying to get his attention, all the while meowing in a demanding manner.

“Go home, will ya?” He rolled his eyes when the small animal tried to climb up in his lap, gently pushing her away. “I don’t wanna play right now. Just get out of here.” But the cat wasn’t about to give up just yet, clearly still hoping for some scratching behind the ear. When Billy refused to give in, just kept pushing her away, she suddenly hissed, obviously not pleased with such a rude treatment. Not the least bit impressed, Billy snorted. “That supposed to scare me?”

He jumped to his feet and reached for the cat, intending to pick her up and take her back to Buffy’s house, only to cry out in pain when she quickly lashed out and scratched him, having been startled by his sudden movement. Billy’s eyes widened when he saw the blood trickling down his arm, and he glared at the cat in accusation. “Why’d you do that for?! I wasn’t going to hurt you!”

Suddenly furious at the cat, not only for hurting him, but for being there in the first place, Billy reacted without thinking and picked up a small rock from the ground. Not aiming directly at the animal, just intending to scare her, he threw away the rock in the cat’s direction. Clearly startled, Princess Leia finally took the hint and ran off, heading for the bushes and quickly disappeared. The next thing Billy heard was the sound of screaming brakes, coming from the street on the other side of the hedges.


TBC

11


Spike stepped out on the porch just in time to see an old Citroen come to a halt on the street just outside his house. The driver – a man in his early forties – jumped out and quickly hurried around the car, bending down to look at something a couple of feet away. That was when he noticed his son, slowly moving towards the car and staring at something on the ground. Spike went over to see what it was that had caught the boy’s attention.

When he saw Spike approaching, the man got to his feet, a devastated look on his face. “The cat just jumped out in front of the car, I didn’t have a chance to stop.” He removed his glasses and started wiping them, nervously, with a handkerchief he found in his pocket.

“Oh, bloody hell!” Spike finally spotted the white cat, lying in an immobile heap in a large puddle of blood. He glanced at Billy. “Is that...?” The boy just nodded, never taking his eyes off the cat.

“Dear lord!” The man seemed to notice Billy for the first time. “Did the poor thing belong to you?”

“No.” Turning his attention back to the older man, Spike shook his head. “Know who the owner is, though. I’ll take care of it.”

“This is absolutely terrible; I can’t tell you how sorry I am about this.” The man shook his head, sadly, then cleared his throat. “Oh well, I might have a blanket somewhere in my car. I’ll be right back.” He turned around and hurried back to the car, opening the trunk.

Billy swallowed hard, still staring at the cat, like hypnotized. “We have to take her to the vet. Maybe she’ll...” His voice trailed off as he turned to his father, a pleading look on his face.

Letting out a sigh, Spike shook his head. “There’s no point. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t know that!” Billy glanced at the cat again. “If we hurry...”

“Billy...” Spike waited until he was sure he had the boy’s full attention before he went on, a serious note in his voice; “It’s too late.”

Billy was quiet for a moment. “We can’t just leave her here,” he finally mumbled.

Spike shook his head in agreement. “We won’t.”


*~*~*

“Oh God, Leia!” Buffy stared in shock at the small, lifeless bundle in Spike’s arms. “No...” Tears started welling up in her eyes as she reached for her beloved pet. “What happened?!”

“She got hit by a car, just outside. I’m so sorry, luv.” Spike handed her the dead cat, suddenly feeling beyond awkward.

“What was she doing there?” Buffy sniffled a little, tenderly stroking the animal’s bloody fur. “She’s afraid of cars; she would never run out in the middle of the road.”

Spike shrugged, apologetically, about to tell her that he had no idea, when Billy spoke up; “There was a big dog. He chased her out in the street, right in front of the car.” He kept his eyes on the floor, not wanting to meet his father’s, or Buffy’s eyes.

“Oh.” Buffy wiped away a tear from her cheek. “Makes sense. She’s afraid of dogs as well. She’s...” She stopped, correcting herself; “She was afraid of a lot of things. My poor baby...”

Spike didn’t know what to say. A part of him just wanted to take Buffy in his arms and comfort her, but wasn’t sure how she would react. “Right...” He cleared his throat. “We should get out of here, give you some space. You probably wanna be alone right now.”

“Wish I could.” Buffy sighed. “But I have to go to work, I’m already late.” She walked over to one of the arm chairs with the cat, still wrapped up in the blanket, and carefully put her down with another sigh. “I’ll bury her when I get back.”

Billy looked up. “You gonna bury her? Where?”

“Oh, somewhere in the backyard, I guess.” Buffy’s eyes started filling with tears again. “She really liked it out there.”

Nodding in understanding, Billy was silent for a moment. Then he looked at Buffy again, a hopeful expression on his face. “Can I help?”

Buffy looked a little surprised. “Sure, as long as it’s okay with your dad.” She glanced at Spike, who just nodded. “All right, I should be home again by four-thirty. You can come over then if you want.” The boy nodded, eagerly.

“You know, you could come over to our place for dinner when you’re done. If you want, that is.” Spike hesitated, suddenly nervous. “I mean, if you’d rather be alone tonight... You don’t have to feel like you have to, I just thought...”

Giving him a small smile, Buffy interrupted his ramblings. “That would be great, I’d love to.” She paused. “But I thought I was the one who was going to invite the two of you over.”

“Yeah, well...” Spike shrugged. “You can do that some other time. Tonight, I’m cooking dinner. You’re gonna love it.”

Billy gave his father a doubtful look. “You’re gonna cook? I’d much rather order a pizza.”

Spike snorted, clearly offended. “Yes, I bloody well am going to cook, and you’ll just be quiet and enjoy it.” The boy rolled his eyes.

Buffy couldn’t help but giggle, despite the fact that she had been feeling utterly miserable just a moment ago. “Well, I’m looking forward to it. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Great!” Spike looked relieved. Then he turned to his son. “Let’s go, Billy.” He gave Buffy an almost shy smile before heading out the door, Billy following without a word.

Closing the door behind them, Buffy remained standing there for a while. She glanced at the cat, and felt another wave of sadness welling up inside her. Poor Princess Leia, she just couldn’t believe her precious little kitty was gone. She forced back a sob, deciding that there would be time to mourn later. Right now, she had to go to work. Not like she really felt like it after what had just happened, but she didn’t have much of a choice. If she wanted to be able to keep the house, she needed the money.


*~*~*

As soon as Billy and Spike had gotten back to the house, Billy hurried up the stairs and into his room, closing the door behind him. He sat down on the unmade bed with a sigh. A part of him felt really bad for lying to Buffy about what happened, but he just couldn’t tell her the truth; that it was all his fault that her cat was dead. Buffy was nice and he really liked her; he couldn’t stand the idea of her being angry at him. Not to mention the fact that his dad would freak out, again.

For as long as he could remember, Billy had always felt like whatever he did, he was always the cause for other peoples disappointment. It wasn’t like he actually tried to be difficult, but for some reason, he was just very good at getting himself in trouble. And most of the time, he found that lying was easier than telling the truth. He had learned that the hard way. Because sometimes, the truth could be a lot worse than any lie he could come up with.


TBC

12


”Are you sad?” Billy glanced at Buffy. They had just finished burying Princess Leia in the backyard, and he had been unusually quiet up until now.

Slowly getting to her feet, Buffy brushed the grass and dirt off her hands and knees. “Yeah. I am.”

“You could get a new cat,” Billy suggested, helpfully.

Watching the flat, white stone they had put on top of the small grave, Buffy let out a sigh. “I don’t think so, Billy.”

“Why not?” He looked at her, curiously.

Buffy gave him a sad smile. “I’ve had Leia for six years, since she was just a little kitten. If I would just get another cat, it would be like replacing her, like she didn’t mean anything to me, and that would be wrong.” She paused. “And I don’t want another cat.”

Billy nodded in understanding. They were both silent for a couple of minutes. Then he suddenly spoke up again. “Are you mad at the man who was driving the car that hit her?”

She thought about it for a moment. “A little. Or at least I was, at first. But I guess that’s not really fair. I mean, it wasn’t like he did it on purpose. I’m sure he feels really bad about what happened. Besides, it wasn’t his fault that the dog chased Leia out on the street. I can’t exactly blame him for that.”

Swallowing, Billy lowered his eyes, not wanting to look at her. “I lied,” he mumbled.

Frowning, Buffy looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”

He didn’t answer at first, still stubbornly refusing to meet her eyes. “Said I lied,” he finally repeated. “There was no dog. It was me.”

“What?!” She stared at him in shock. “Billy, look at me!” He reluctantly obeyed. “What happened? What did you do?”

“I didn’t mean to, I just...” Billy hesitated. “I just wanted her to go away, so I threw a rock at her.” Seeing the horrified look on Buffy’s face, he quickly went on; “I wasn’t trying to hurt her! I just wanted to scare her.” He paused as tears started welling up in his eyes. “I’m sorry. Please don’t tell my dad.”

Buffy opened her mouth, then closed it again, having no idea how to handle this new information. A part of her wanted to yell at the boy, ask him how the hell he could do something like that to a defenseless animal. But the look of pure, genuine guilt on Billy’s face was impossible to miss, and she realized that even though he didn’t have to, he had actually chosen to tell her the truth, and that took a lot of guts.

She also truly believed him when he said that he was sorry. In fact, she was fairly certain that Billy hadn’t intended to hurt Leia, any more than the man driving the car. After all, he was just a kid, and kids weren’t exactly known for stopping and thinking about the consequences before acting. Suddenly, she felt almost sorry for him. Still, she knew she couldn’t just let him get away with it. “I thought I told you not to lie to me again,” she finally blurted out.

Quickly wiping his eyes, he stared at her in disbelief. “You’re mad because I lied? I just told you I killed your bloody cat!”

“Billy! Language!” She gave him a look of disapproval, and he had the decency to look ashamed.

“Sorry,” he muttered.

Sighing, Buffy was quiet for a moment. “You know, once upon a time, there was this little boy who liked to scare everybody and tell them that the wolf was coming. And when the real wolf came...” Seeing how the boy rolled his eyes, she stopped. “All right, this is a true story. When I was a kid, I once ran in to my mom and yelled that the house was on fire. I scared her half to death.”

Billy suddenly looked a little more interested. “You lied?” Buffy nodded. “Was she mad?”

She let out a snort. “I don’t think ‘mad’ covers it. Try furious.”

He looked at her with wide eyes. “She hit you?”

“What? No!” Buffy shook her head, firmly. “Of course not. She just...” She paused. “Well, she told me that ridiculous story about the wolf, and I was just as bored as you. The point is; if you keep telling lies, sooner or later people are gonna start thinking you’re lying, even when you’re actually telling the truth. Imagine how you’d feel if you wanted to tell your dad something really, really important, and he wouldn’t believe you.”

Billy got a thoughtful look on his face. “Like that time when I told him about that man.”

Buffy frowned. “Sorry, you lost me. What man?”

Suddenly very interested in something next to his feet, Billy shrugged. “The man who was sleeping in his bed.”

“Huh?” To say that she was confused would have been a huge understatement. “There was a man sleeping in your dad’s bed?”

He nodded. “While he was at work.” A pause. “My mum was there, too.”

“Oh. Oh!” Buffy’s eyes widened as realization hit her. She wasn’t sure she really wanted to know about this, but for some reason, she couldn’t keep herself from asking the next question. “When did this happen?”

Billy shrugged again. “Back in LA. Before my mum got sick.”

Feeling like her head was spinning, Buffy tried to take in what the boy had just told her. Spike had been very vague about the details regarding his relationship with Billy’s mother, and she hadn’t wanted to overstep her bounds by asking. But now she got the feeling that things were a bit more serious than she had first thought. She couldn’t help but wonder what had really happened in LA. And more importantly; just how much had Billy seen?

Also, Spike had just said that his wife had yet to sign the divorce papers; he hadn’t mentioned anything about her being sick. She knew she shouldn’t be pumping the boy for information, but she just couldn’t stop herself. “I’m sorry about your mom. What’s wrong with her?” Seeing the uncertain look on Billy’s face, she waved her hand in dismissal. “Never mind, that’s none of my business.” She hesitated. “Back to this man you were talking about. Did you know him?”

He shook his head. Okay, that’s enough, Buffy told herself, firmly. I have no right asking Billy about this. I should just talk to Spike tonight, ask him what really happened. Of course, she knew she couldn’t do that. Not only would she feel totally awkward, she also had a feeling Spike wouldn’t react too well if she asked him something that personal.

Then again, Billy was the one who had brought it up in the first place. It wasn’t like she had actually asked the boy if he had seen any strange men in his father’s bed lately. She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. Maybe she should just change the subject and forget all about this conversation. Yeah, right! She almost rolled her eyes at herself. Like that was even possible.



TBC

13


“Mmm, this is really good!” Buffy put her fork down and smiled at Spike, gratefully. “Thanks for inviting me over, by the way. I really wouldn’t have wanted to be alone tonight. Would’ve been too depressing.” Her smile faltered a little.

“Yeah, I figured.” Spike gave her a sympathetic look. “You gonna be okay, pet?”

She nodded, putting on another, somewhat strained smile. “Yeah, sure. I’ll be fine.” A pause. “It’s just gonna take some time.” He nodded, and Buffy was silent for a moment. Then she decided to change the subject before she would get too emotional. She turned her attention to Billy, who had been quiet so far, concentrating on his food. “What do you say, Billy? Isn’t this way better than pizza after all?”

The boy shrugged. “Still would’ve preferred pizza,” he mumbled, before – despite his words – shoving some more lasagna into his mouth.

Spike just rolled his eyes. Then he glanced at Buffy, and their eyes met. For a moment, neither of them was able to look away.

Buffy felt like she was drowning; a feeling she had become familiar with since she had first met Spike, and she realized that she was already falling for him, big time. Suddenly she remembered that Billy was still in the room, and blushed. The boy was watching them, closely; a somewhat interested expression on his face, and the spell was broken. She lowered her eyes, suddenly embarrassed.

If she and Spike had been alone, it would have been one thing, but here they were, making googly eyes at each other right in front of the kid for crying out loud! But somehow, every time Spike looked at her, she became reduced to a blushing schoolgirl with a crush. A part of her cringed at the thought; this was so not like her, at all. However, she had to admit that the feeling wasn’t totally unpleasant. And more importantly; whatever feelings she had developed for Spike seemed to be more than mutual.

Spike cleared his throat, about to say something, when he was interrupted by the sound of the phone ringing. He quickly excused himself and left the room, and Buffy didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. Letting out the breath she had been holding, she glanced at Billy again, realizing that he was still watching her. She smiled a little. “What?”

The boy didn’t answer at first. Instead he cast a look over his shoulder, clearly wanting to make sure his father wouldn’t hear him. Finally he blurted out; “Do you like my dad?”

Buffy stared at him in shock. “What?!” She let out a nervous laugh. “What exactly do you mean by ‘like’?”

“Please!” Billy snorted. “I’m not bloody stupid, so don’t treat me like I am.”

“Language!” Buffy rolled her eyes. “I know you’re not stupid, I just...” She sighed. “You just surprised me a little.”

“Right.” He nodded. “Well? Do you?”

Buffy resisted the urge to groan, thinking that the kid had a bluntness that would make Anya come out as shy and withdrawn. Instead she took a deep breath, knowing that he wouldn’t give up until he had gotten an answer. “Well, of course I like your dad. He’s...” She hesitated. “...really nice.” Okay, that sounded way too lame, even in her ears. And she could tell that Billy wasn’t too impressed by that answer, either.

But he didn’t argue. Instead he got a thoughtful look on his face. “My dad likes you.”

“Really?!” She silently cringed at how shrill her voice had become and cleared her throat. “I mean, why do you think that?”

Billy shrugged. “It’s just the way he looks at you, is all. The way he used to look at my mum.” He paused. “And he’s... different when you’re around. Happier.”

She had no idea how to respond to that. Luckily, Spike chose that moment to return, and Billy immediately closed up, turning his attention back to the food left on his plate. Seeing the troubled expression on Spike’s face, Buffy gave him a questioning look. “Something wrong?”

“No, it’s just...” Spike hesitated before turning to his son. “Looks like we have to go back to LA next week.”

“Why?” Billy suddenly looked alarmed. “You gonna see Mum? She gonna sign the divorce papers?”

“Yeah.” Spike glanced at Buffy, who quickly averted her eyes, clearly not comfortable with the turn the conversation had taken. Letting out a sigh, he went on; “I’ll talk to Principal Flutie and your teachers tomorrow, let them know you’ll be away for a day or two.”

Billy’s eyes widened and his fingers tightened around his fork, so hard that his knuckles turned white. “You promised I didn’t have to go!”

Feeling a headache coming up, Spike mentally prepared himself for the outburst he knew was coming. “No, I said you didn’t have to see her. But you’re coming to LA with me. I don’t know how long it’s gonna take and I’m not letting you stay at home all by yourself.”

“I don’t wanna go!” Billy jumped up from the chair, glaring at his father. “You can’t make me!” He turned to Buffy, an almost desperate look on his face. “Can’t I stay here with you? Please? I promise I’ll be good. I’ll be better than good!”

Buffy opened her mouth, but Spike beat him to it; “Billy, I don’t think...”

“I’m not going!” In a sudden fit of fury, Billy grabbed the closest object he could find, which happened to be his empty glass, and threw it across the room, causing it to smash against the wall and break into a million pieces. Buffy stared at him in shock, suddenly wishing she was anywhere but there.

“Hey, that’s enough!” Spike jumped up as well. Clenching his fists, he forced himself to take a deep breath. “Look, Billy, I promise; you won’t have to see her. We’ll just...” Not waiting for him to finish, Billy spun around and ran out of the room. A moment later, a hard slam from his bedroom door could be heard from upstairs.

Buffy ducked down in her chair, wishing the floor would open up and swallow her. She had never felt more awkward in her life. Then she glanced at Spike, and a wave of sympathy welled up inside her. He closed his eyes, and for a moment, it looked like he was about to cry. When he finally spoke, she could tell that he had to struggle to keep his voice steady. “I’m sorry.” His voice was barely more than a whisper. “Buffy, I hate to ask, but...”

Already knowing what he was about to ask her, Buffy quickly made up her mind, interrupting him before he could finish; “Really, Spike, I don’t mind. Of course Billy can stay with me.”

Looking beyond relieved, Spike let out a shuddering breath. “Thank you.” He was quiet for a moment, clearly at a loss for words. Then he sighed. “Look, I’m really sorry,” he then repeated, looking so lost that Buffy wanted to just take him in her arms and tell him that everything would be okay. Of course, she couldn’t make any promises like that. Not when she didn’t have the slightest idea what was going on.

“Don’t worry about it; I told you, I don’t mind.” Buffy paused. “You know what? There is one thing you could do for me.” Raising a brow, Spike remained silent, waiting for her to continue. She took a deep breath, suddenly afraid to look at him; “Tell me what’s the deal with Billy’s mom.”


TBC

14


Spike was silent for so long that Buffy started to fear that she had gone too far. She lowered her eyes, suddenly feeling very stupid. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked...”

“No, s’okay.” Spike interrupted her, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Can’t blame you for wondering. It’s just...” He hesitated. “All right, look... It’s a long story, and it’s not pretty. But if you’re sure you wanna hear it...” He left the rest of the sentence hanging.

Buffy nodded, eagerly. “I do.”

“Right, then.” Spike paused. “There’s another bottle of wine in the fridge. Mind getting it, and wait for me in the living room? Just need to check on Billy, then we’ll talk, yeah?”

Letting out a sigh of relief, she nodded again, giving him a small smile. “Sure.”


*~*~*

Hurrying up the stairs, Spike knocked softly on Billy’s door, silently promising himself not to lose his temper again, no matter what happened. Sometimes, it seemed like not a single day went by without at least one huge argument, and he was sick and tired of it. He had tried, again and again, to be a good father and make up for his mistakes. But for some reason, no matter what he did, it was just never enough.

When more than a minute had passed without any response from Billy’s room, Spike rolled his eyes and opened the door, peeking inside. “Billy?”

The boy was lying on the bed, now turning to look at his father with a bored expression on his face. “What?”

“You okay?” Spike slowly made his way over to the bed, hesitating for a brief moment before sitting down.

Sitting up, abruptly, Billy glared at him. “What do you care?”

Spike took a deep breath, refusing to take the bait and snap back. “You know I care, so don’t give me that crap. I didn’t come here to argue, I just wanna talk to you.”

Lowering his eyes to the floor, Billy was quiet for a moment. Then he looked up again. “Talk about what?”

“Well...” Spike glanced at his son. “Buffy says you can stay with her when I go to LA.”

Billy got a hopeful look on his face. “Really?”

Spike nodded. “Yeah. But you better not...” He stopped, not wanting to use the phrase ‘cause any trouble’. I really need to learn to be a little more positive, he thought.

Even though he hadn’t finished the sentence, Billy seemed to understand perfectly well what he meant. “I’ll be good.”

“All right, then.”

Spike got up from the bed, about to leave, when Billy suddenly spoke up; “Do you like Buffy?”

Eyes widening, Spike stared at his son. “Do I... what?” Billy just looked at him, an expectant expression on his face, and Spike cleared his throat. “What do you mean, like?”

Billy rolled his eyes. “Buffy said the same thing. Why is it so hard for grown-ups to admit that they like each other?”

If possible, Spike’s eyes widened even more. “Buffy said...? Wait a minute. What exactly did you and Buffy talk about?”

The boy shrugged. “I asked her if she liked you. She got embarrassed.”

“Oh, bloody hell!” Spike got a horrified look on his face. “Billy, you can’t just go around asking people stuff like that! What were you thinking?!”

“What’s the big deal?” Billy looked confused. “I told her you liked her, as well.”

Spike’s mouth opened, then closed again. He was silent for a moment. “Please, tell me you’re joking.” Billy shook his head. “Great! Just... great.”

“Well, don’t you?” Billy suddenly looked uncertain. “Buffy’s nice. And she’s lives all alone. If you got together, she could move in here.”

Staring at his son in disbelief, Spike let out a groan. “Oh, bollocks! Don’t you ever, and I mean ever mention any of this to Buffy. Ever! You’d scare her away for sure.”

Billy was quiet for a moment. Then he asked; “Are you and Mum gonna get back together?”

“What?” Spike stared at him in shock. “No! Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know.” Billy suddenly wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Maybe she doesn’t wanna sign the divorce papers. What if she wants us to come back?”

“Not gonna happen!” Spike let out a snort. “Look, Billy, it doesn’t matter what she wants. Our home is here now. And your mum’s not gonna be a part of our lives anymore. Do you understand?”

Billy didn’t look totally convinced, but nodded, nevertheless. He got a thoughtful look on his face. “Can I get a divorce, too? I mean, you’re getting a divorce so Mum won’t be your wife anymore. Can’t I sign a paper so she won’t be my mum?”

Spike closed his eyes for a moment, suddenly feeling very tired. He sighed. “Doesn’t work like that. She’s always gonna be your mum; no paper’s gonna change that.”

Thinking about it for a moment, Billy then changed the subject. “Buffy still here?”

“Yeah.” Spike hesitated. “That’s another thing I wanna talk to you about. Buffy asked me about your mum before I went up here. I’m gonna try to explain some things to her. About what happened in LA.”

Billy looked surprised. “You gonna tell Buffy what Mum did?”

“I am.” Spike paused. “You okay with that?” The boy got a thoughtful look on his face, then nodded. Spike let out the breath he had been holding. He didn’t exactly look forward to having that particular conversation with Buffy, but knew that he needed to be honest with her. Of course, there was a possibility that she wouldn’t like him very much after hearing what he had to say. But that was a risk he would have to take.

He wondered, and not for the first time, why his life had to be so bloody complicated. Then again, if it was hard for him, it had to be even worse for Billy. He was just a kid, and shouldn’t have to worry about things like divorce papers. Spike had tried to be frank with the boy from the beginning, and explain what was going to happen, but sometimes he wondered if Billy wouldn’t have been better off not knowing.

It seemed simple enough; no kid should have to deal with their parents problems. But on the other hand, unfortunately, Billy had been aware of what was going on for a long time. It was Spike who had been oblivious, and Billy had been the one to pay the price. Thinking back now, Spike realized that he should’ve seen what was happening right in front of him. But it had been so much easier to just keep living in denial. However, the bubble always had to burst sooner or later. And no matter how far you would run, it was just not possible to escape from the past.

And now, Buffy was waiting for him downstairs, waiting for him to reveal things that he just wanted to forget. For the first time, he was actually going to share the whole, tragic story with another person. Suddenly, he couldn’t help but wonder how he would ever be able to look Buffy in the eyes again after telling her. For all he knew, it was quite possible that she would end up hating him. And he couldn’t blame her. After everything that had happened, Spike didn’t like himself very much, either.


TBC

15


“So…” Spike cleared his throat, suddenly finding something at the bottom of his glass very interesting. He wondered if Buffy could tell how nervous he was. A part of him really didn’t want to have this conversation now, if ever. But he had promised.

Buffy waited patiently for him to go on, then, when he didn’t say anything more, decided to take pity on him and asked; “Billy okay?”

Spike raised his head, giving her a grateful look. “Billy’s fine. Was really relieved when I told him he could stay with you. He’ll behave.”

Nodding slowly, Buffy bit her lip thoughtfully, afraid of saying the wrong thing. Still, she was too curious not to ask. “Why doesn’t he wanna see his own mother?”

“Well...” Slumping back on the couch, Spike hesitated for a moment. “It’s complicated,” he finally mumbled, cringing at how lame it came out. It was the understatement of the year. Of course it was complicated. But Buffy had already offered to let Billy stay with her without hesitation. Now, when she asked him about it, he owed it to her to at least try to explain.

“Yeah, I already got that much.” Buffy took a small sip from her glass. “Look, Spike, if you don’t wanna do this...”

Letting out a sigh, Spike raised his hand to stop her. “I already said I’d tell you the whole story, and I will. Just not sure how to begin.”

Putting her glass down on the table, Buffy recalled what Billy had said earlier that day, while burying Princess Leia, and decided to give Spike an opening. “Billy mentioned something about his mom being sick.”

“Yeah, well, that’s one way of putting it.” Spike snorted. Seeing Buffy’s confusion, he clarified; “Let’s just say Drusilla’s not... all there, if you know what I mean.” He frowned. “Never bothered me much, though. Guess they’re really not joking when they say love’s blind.”

Buffy gave him a sad smile. “You loved her.” It wasn’t a question.

“Course I bloody loved her, she was my wife!” She quickly lowered her eyes, startled by his sudden outburst, and Spike gave her an apologetic look. “Sorry. But you have to understand, it wasn’t always bad. When I first met her...” He paused, then started over. “Dru and I first met back in high school. She was my entire world. We got married right after graduation.”

“Wow.” Buffy thought back at the few guys she had dated back in high school. The idea of getting married to one of them had never even crossed her mind. She couldn’t imagine how it would be like to feel so strongly for another person, especially when you were pretty much still just a kid. Then again, since she had never actually been in love herself, she had yet to experience those kind of feelings.

“The first couple of years, everything was perfect,” Spike went on. “Was the best time of my life. Then one night, she told me she was pregnant.” He smiled a little. “I couldn’t believe I was actually going to be a father. That’s all I’ve ever wanted in life, you know. A wife and a kid.” His smile faltered. “But after Billy was born, things started to change. Or, to be more accurate; Dru changed.”

Buffy looked at him with wide eyes, her mind still trying to take in the idea of having a family at the age of eighteen. “In what way?”

“She would say the strangest things, like...” Spike hesitated and picked up his glass, but did no attempt of drinking. He just needed to keep his hands busy. “Doesn’t matter what she said, I s’pose. The point is, she was starting to act really weird, especially around Billy. Would just hand me the baby and take off in the middle of the night without a word, start screaming hysterically for no reason, things like that. Was like, all of the sudden, she couldn’t stand the idea of being a mother. And when I asked her about it...” His voice trailed off as he became lost in his memories.

Finally snapping out of it, he shook his head to clear his thoughts. “The doctors called it ‘postpartum depression’. They said it could be treated, though. Put her on medication, and she got better. Or so I thought.” His eyes darkened. “Turns out she made a good show of pretending. Fooled everyone.” A pause. “Even me.”

“Oh.” Buffy didn’t know what to say.

He went on. “The years went by, and she seemed to be just fine. Was a bit... eccentric, I guess, but on the other hand, that’s just the way she’d always been. We never really talked about what happened. I was just glad it was over, that she was back to normal.”

“But it wasn’t really over, was it?” Buffy gave him a sympathetic look. She had a feeling she wouldn’t like where this was heading.

“No.” Spike sighed. “When he got older, Billy sometimes refused to be alone with her. Said she was mean.” He paused. “Of course, I thought it was just a phase. But then it got worse.”

“Worse? How?” She was almost afraid to ask.



*flashback*

“Please, Dad, don’t go!” Billy was clinging to his father in a desperate attempt of preventing him from leaving.

“Billy, stop it. You know I’ve got to go to work.” Spike let out an annoyed sigh. “Your mum will be here with you, and I’ll be back tonight.”

“I don’t wanna be with Mum.” Billy’s bottom lip was trembling and tears started spilling down his cheeks. “I wanna be with you. Please!”

“I don’t have time for this.” Spike was starting to lose his temper. It had been the same thing almost every morning for the last couple of weeks. “Look, Billy, this has to stop. I need to go to work, and you’re gonna stay at home with your mother. End of discussion.” Billy took a step back, a defeated expression on his face. As Spike closed the door behind him, he could still hear the boy sobbing on the other side.



Buffy was quiet for a moment. “You never wondered why he didn’t wanna be alone with her?”

“Well, yeah.” Spike lowered his eyes, a guilty look on his face. “But I never thought...” He hesitated. “Billy’s always been a stubborn kid, nothing unusual ‘bout that.” A pause. “Guess I didn’t wanna admit, even to myself, that something might actually be wrong.” He glanced at Buffy. She had an unreadable expression on her face, and he wished he knew what she was thinking.

Rolling his eyes, he continued, a sarcastic note in his voice; “Besides, when you’re practically married to your job, you don’t have time to care about what’s going on in your own house.” He raised a brow. “Perfect excuse, right?”

Buffy looked at him for a moment before shaking her head, firmly. “There are no excuses,” she then stated, calmly.

Letting out a bitter laugh, Spike quickly downed what was left in his glass. “Tell me something I don’t know,” he finally whispered.

Opening her mouth to say something, Buffy then closed it again. She remained silent. Suddenly, she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear any more. She had a pretty good idea what was coming, and started to realize that Spike had been right when he told her the story wouldn’t be pretty. Still, she couldn’t back away now. After all, she was the one who had insisted that he would tell her. Clearly, that was a lot harder for him than she had expected. The least she could do now was stay and listen.

She had every intention of letting Spike tell her the story at his own pace. But there was one thing she had to know, and it couldn’t wait. “Just tell me one thing.” Buffy took a deep breath before she went on; “Did she ever hurt him?”


TBC

16


“Did she ever hurt him?”

Such a simple question, yet he remained silent. More than anything, Spike wished that he had the ability to just turn back time so he could have handled things differently. Unfortunately, such a thing was not possible. Now he closed his eyes, desperately trying to keep the painful memories from playing up in his mind, like so many times before. Of course, he already knew perfectly well that he wouldn’t succeed. He never did.


*flashback*

“Billy? Talk to me, buddy!” He tried to keep the panic out of his voice, but failed. “What happened? Your mum did this to you?”

The boy didn’t answer. Instead he just stared at his father with wide eyes, cradling his injured arm against his chest. Then he casted a fearful look over his shoulder.

“It was an accident!” Drusilla’s face was a mixture of anger and wariness as she watched Spike’s reaction. She turned her demanding eyes towards Billy. “Tell him, darling. Tell your daddy how we were playing, and you fell. It was most unfortunate, but I had nothing to do with it.” Her last words were directed to Spike, and a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Save it, Dru, I wasn’t talking to you.” He glared at his wife for a moment before turning back to his son. “Billy, I want you to tell me the truth. Did your mum do this?” Spike touched his arm, gently, only to pull back when Billy cried out in pain. “Bloody hell, I’m sorry!” He took a deep breath as realization hit him, determined to remain calm. “Billy, get your jacket. We’re going to the hospital.” The boy obeyed without a word.


Billy’s arm had turned out to be broken. That was the night when Spike had first been forced to realize what was really going on in the house when he was not around. At least parts of it; he still wasn’t sure he knew the full story and maybe he never would. That was almost a year ago now, and he had no idea how he would ever be able to forgive himself for not putting the pieces together sooner. Looking back now, he realized what a fool he had been.

For once, he had left work early that day, apparently something Drusilla hadn’t counted on. Because he ran into the other man, just when he was about to leave the house. The man hadn’t spoken, just stared at him with a dumbfounded expression on his face before giving him an apologetic look and a shrug. Then he had quickly left without looking back. Spike still didn’t know the other man’s name, nor did he care.

Although he might have been blind, Spike wasn’t stupid. The moment he had spotted the strange man on his back porch, he knew exactly why he was there. Later, he would remember something Billy had told him, weeks before. Only too bad he hadn’t believed the boy at the time. Or to be more accurate; he hadn’t wanted to believe him. That was another thing he wished he could go back and change.


*flashback*

“I’m not lying!” Billy glared at his father, upset that he wouldn’t believe him. “There was a man here, in the bed with Mum. I saw him!”

“Sure you did.” Spike sighed. “Thought I told you to stop making up stories.”

“I’m not making it up!” Billy stomped his foot, angrily.

Spike hesitated for a moment, something nagging at the back of his mind. But he quickly shook the disturbing feeling away. It was so much easier to live in denial. “So, if I would ask your mum about this...?”

Billy became quiet. Suddenly he looked worried. “You can’t do that.”

“And why’s that?” Spike crossed his arms over his chest. “Cause you know it’s not true?”

“No...” Billy shook his head, then rolled his eyes. “Just forget it.”


Spike swallowed, hard. No wonder why Billy kept lying, he thought. The boy had even said so himself, just a couple of days ago: ‘It doesn’t matter if I tell the truth or not, does it? You don’t believe me, anyway.’ Spike couldn’t blame him for feeling that way. He wondered, and not for the first time, when everything had gotten so screwed up.

He wanted to be a good father so badly, but what kind of father didn’t listen to his own son? And more importantly; what kind of father would stay with a woman who, so clearly, lacked the ability of caring about anyone but herself, including her son? Of course, Drusilla was sick and needed help, but that was no excuse for his behavior. He should’ve realized, a long time ago, that he would never be able to help her. Especially since she didn’t even want him to. To him, Drusilla had been everything. But to her, he had just been convenient.

Right now, he had a choice. He could spend the rest of his life wallowing in self-pity, or he could keep trying to make up for his mistakes and make a better life for Billy here in Sunnydale. Maybe it was already too late. But maybe, just maybe, he still had a chance to make things right. Even though he may not deserve a second chance, Billy sure did. And that was all that mattered.

The truth was, Spike had instantly forgotten all about Drusilla’s lover the moment he had walked through the door. The fact that she had been unfaithful to him didn’t mean a thing compared to what she had done to Billy. If it wasn’t for the boy, Spike wasn’t sure he would’ve actually found the strength to walk away. It probably would’ve taken a while, but sooner or later, he feared that he would have forgiven Dru, even taken her back. No matter how much she had hurt him.

As far as Spike knew, that was – thankfully – the one and only time Drusilla had hurt Billy physically. But once was more than enough. As soon as he and Billy had returned from the hospital that night, he had told Dru to pack her bags and get out. She had cried and pleaded at first, then changed her tactics and started yelling hysterically, but he had forced himself to be strong. Finally, she seemed to realize that he was serious, much to his – and Billy’s – great relief. Unfortunately, things didn’t stop there. In fact, after that incident, things just went down-hill.


*flashback*

“What are you doing here, Dru?” Spike held back an annoyed sigh. He should have known it was just a matter of time before she would show up again. At least Billy wasn’t home, and for that he was grateful. From now on, he would do anything to keep his son away from his mother, something he should have done a long time ago.

Drusilla made an attempt of getting inside, but he remained in the doorway, blocking her way. For a moment, her face twisted into an angry grimace, then it was gone and she pouted. “I went to school to get our boy. But the mean teacher wouldn’t let me. I am most cross with her.”

“That’s because I’ve told all of Billy’s teachers that from now on, I’m the only one who’s allowed to pick him up.” Spike suddenly felt very tired. He had dreaded this conversation, knowing that Drusilla wouldn’t take it well. He could see a huge outburst coming up, and he didn’t look forward to it.

“I see.” Drusilla sounded a little too calm for his liking. “You don’t trust me.”

“Give me one bloody reason why I should!” Spike shook his head in irritation, wondering how it was possible to have loved someone so strongly one moment, and the next, all feelings were just gone.

Staring at him for a moment, Drusilla then burst into tears. “Why are you doing this? Don’t you know how much I love you?”

“You don’t love anyone but yourself, and that’s the problem.” Spike glared at her. “You need help, Dru, help that I can’t give you. Until you agree to get it, I don’t want you anywhere near Billy. I mean it.”

She was quiet for a moment, then nodded in defeat. “Will you at least let me in so I can use the bathroom?” He opened his mouth to object, but she hurried on; “Billy is still in school. What’s the harm? I just need five minutes, then I will leave you alone.”

Spike sighed. “Fine. But five minutes s’all you get, then I’ll throw you out myself.” He stepped out of the way, allowing her to enter.

Drusilla smiled a little. “Don’t worry, my sweet William. I doubt I will even be here that long.” She slipped passed him through the door and into the house.

Five minutes later, Spike knocked on the bathroom door, telling Drusilla that her time was up. Ten minutes later, he burst through the door, and found his wife on the floor with both her wrists slit open.


Now he looked up, reluctantly meeting Buffy’s eyes. Letting out a miserable sigh, he finally nodded. “Yes, she did.”


TBC

17


“Look, Spike, I can see why you’re blaming yourself.” Buffy had remained silent, waiting for Spike to tell her the whole story, and now when he was done, she chose her words carefully. “But at least you got Billy away from her. In the end, you made sure Drusilla wouldn’t be able to hurt him again.”

Spike snorted. “You make me come out like some kind of hero. Believe me, pet, I’m not.” She opened her mouth, but he wasn’t finished. “Said so yourself; in the end I got him away. Well, that’s just not good enough. Should’ve done something a hell of a lot sooner.”

Buffy nodded, slowly. “Maybe. But...”

“No, don’t you see? I should’ve...” Spike hesitated, wishing she would just see things his way. “If I had just listened to Billy, taken him seriously, like any decent parent would have, then he wouldn’t have gotten hurt in the first place. Can’t you see I’m the one to blame here?” She just looked at him, and he rolled his eyes. “Oh, for the love of... Stop looking at me like that!”

He reached for the bottle, making himself busy pouring more wine into his glass, anything so he wouldn’t have to look at her. He just couldn’t stand seeing the sympathy in her eyes. Buffy really was young and naive, and although a part of him couldn’t help but find it refreshing, it just made him feel even worse about himself. He didn’t deserve her sympathy, why couldn’t she see that?

She should be yelling at him, telling him what a horrible father he was. Not just keep looking at him with those big, innocent eyes while her mind was clearly working overdrive to come up with some way to make him feel better. It just wasn’t right. He had finally told her the story of his life, at least parts of it, expecting her to be appalled. Disgust and loathing; that he could deal with. Kindness and compassion, he could not. However, her next words took him by surprise.

“Maybe you’re right.” He looked up, startled, but she went on before he could say anything; “Maybe you should have done something sooner. But tell me this...” She looked at him, expectantly. “Did Billy ever say anything about his mother hurting him?”

Spike shook his head, not sure where she was going with this. “No. But...”

Buffy interrupted him. “Did you ever – even for a moment – suspect that she did?” A part of her was terrified that he would say yes.

“Course not!” He looked almost offended, much to her relief. “But that’s not the point now, is it? Even if she’d never laid a hand on him before, it was obvious that he wasn’t comfortable being around her. And I never stopped and asked myself why.”

“Okay, I see your point.” Buffy was quiet for a moment. “You can’t change the past, Spike, no matter how much you want to. But you can do something about the future. And the way I see it, that’s what you’re doing. By leaving Drusilla and coming here, you’re making a better future for Billy. And that’s what’s important.”

He let out a shuddering breath. “What if it’s too late?”

“You can’t go on thinking like that.” Buffy gave him a firm look. “So, you’re not perfect. But guess what? No one is. When I look at you, I see a man who’s willing to do anything for his son. A man who has made some mistakes in the past, yes, but he has also learned from them and wants to make things better.” She paused. “You’re not a bad father, Spike. Billy’s lucky to have you.”

“Yeah, real lucky.” Spike let out a bitter laugh.

“I think you’re being too hard on yourself.” Buffy sighed. “You’re right; what happened was bad, but it’s over now. You have to let it go, for Billy’s sake if not for your own. And you seem to be forgetting something important.”

Spike gave her a questioning look. “Yeah? What’s that?”

“Billy’s not the only one who got hurt. Drusilla betrayed you, as well.” Spike lowered his eyes, but she gently put her hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at her. “Don’t try to pretend it doesn’t matter. It’s true, and you know it. You loved her, and she hurt you in the worst possible way. For that, I’m really sorry.”

He leaned over and kissed her. It was either that, or start blubbering, and if the story about his pathetic past hadn’t managed to scare her away, he was fully convinced that breaking down in tears like a bloody nancy-boy would. So he did the only thing he could think of; pressing his lips against hers almost fiercely, silently praying that she would drop the subject and let him keep what little dignity he had left. But if Buffy was surprised by his actions, she didn’t let it show.

Instead she just slipped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss, with so much passion that he felt like he was choking. And all of the sudden, he realized that he never wanted to let her go. In fact, the mere thought of losing Buffy terrified him in a way he couldn’t even begin to explain, even to himself. So he just tightened his grip around her, and when they finally had to pull back for air, he rested his forehead against hers, squeezing his eyes shut so he wouldn’t have to see the rejection a part of him still expected to find if he would allow himself to look at her.

“Spike?”

Buffy pulled back a little, and he found himself reluctantly meeting her eyes. He took a deep breath. “Buffy, I...”

She put a finger on his lips to stop him. “Spike, we have only known each other for about a week...”

Pulling back abruptly, Spike swallowed hard, feeling like someone had just punched him in the stomach. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have...”

“No, let me finish! Please...” Buffy grabbed his arm, like she was suddenly afraid that if she wouldn’t hold on to him, he would run away from her and never come back. She was beyond relieved when he didn’t move away any further, just waited for her to go on. Problem was, she had no idea how. When she finally spoke, her voice was trembling. “When I’m around you, I’m feeling things I’ve never felt before. And it scares the hell out of me.” A pause. “I don’t know about you, but...”

Eyes widening in surprise, Spike quickly interrupted her; “Same here. Scares me, too.”

Buffy let out the breath she had been holding, looking at him hopefully. “Really?” He just nodded. “Oh, thank God!”

He relaxed a little, although he was almost afraid to ask the next question; “So, now what?”

“I- I don’t know.” Buffy looked down at her hands, and realized that they were shaking. “I don’t even know how this is possible. But right now, all I can think about...” She glanced up again, giving him a pleading look as she went on; “...is that if you don’t kiss me again, like right now, I’m going to die.”

Spike couldn’t help but chuckle, although, when their eyes met, he immediately became serious. Because he suddenly felt exactly the same way. Without a word, he pulled her into his arms, softly brushing his lips against hers. And when Buffy returned the kiss, almost desperately, the rest of the world ceased to exist.


TBC

18


“Spike, wait, we can’t...” Buffy reluctantly pulled back a little, silently cursing herself for getting so caught up in the heat of the moment. “Billy...”

He immediately let go of her, his eyes darting around the room in panic. Then he relaxed, giving her a somewhat confused look. “Billy’s upstairs.”

“I know that!” She couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “What if he comes down, and we...?”

Spike glanced towards the stairs, then waved his hand in dismissal. “He won’t.”

“You can’t know that,” Buffy objected with a sigh. “Spike, really, it’s not that I don’t want to, but...”

“Hold on...” Spike interrupted her. “Was just a kiss, yeah? Not like I was about to shag you right here on the couch.”

Buffy stared at him for a moment, mouth open. Then she blushed, furiously. “I – I wasn’t implying...”

“Relax, kitten, m’only teasing you.” Giving her an assuring smile, he gently cupped her cheek, happy when she didn’t pull away. “Meant what I said before, all right? Way I feel about you. Wouldn’t screw it up by rushing things. Far as I’m concerned, we got all the time in the world.” A pause. “I mean, unless you’re having second thoughts?” He glanced at her, an uncertain expression on his face.

“No.” Buffy shook her head, firmly. “No second thoughts.”

He looked so relieved; she failed to keep the silly smile from spreading on her face. She could just lose herself in his beautiful eyes; she felt like she was drowning. And judging by the way Spike was looking at her right now, he felt the same way. It was a scary thought, yet, being this close to him felt like the most natural thing in the world. The attraction they felt towards one another was real; she had no doubts about that. But the question was; would it last?

Buffy quickly made up her mind; it didn’t matter. The way she saw it, she had a choice. She could either follow her heart and risk getting it broken in the future, or she could back away – and risk ending up as an old, bitter woman who had never dared to give love a chance. It wasn’t really a hard decision. Taking a deep breath, she put her hand gently on top of his. “No second thoughts,” she repeated, looking him right in the eyes.

Spike swallowed, hard. Buffy looked so determined, yet so vulnerable, and he realized that she trusted him enough to willingly put her heart in his hands. She obviously wanted this, as much as he did. But what if he failed to live up to her expectations? This woman deserved nothing but the best, what if he couldn’t give it to her? Maybe she would wake up one day and realize that she was making a mistake, that she deserved better than him. What if he wouldn’t be good enough for her?

Of course, deep down, he knew that he would never have been this insecure and self-conscious if it hadn’t been for Drusilla and her betrayal. He was well aware of the fact that Buffy wasn’t Dru; she had no intentions of hurting him like his wife had. But still, he couldn’t quite shake the feeling of not being worthy. He supposed that a part of him would always blame himself for Drusilla’s cruel actions, no matter how ridiculous it may be.

Now, he pushed the disturbing thoughts to the back of his mind and turned his attention back to Buffy. After all, life was all about taking chances. Buffy clearly did, so why shouldn’t he? He cleared his throat. “So, um, Billy’s got school tomorrow. Wanna meet up for lunch?”

Buffy gave him a teasing smile. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

“Well, yes, I believe I am.” Spike couldn’t help but smirk, curling his tongue behind his teeth. “Could always, you know, come back here when we’re done. With Billy gone, we’ll have plenty of time to...” He raised a brow in a suggestive manner. “...get to know each other a little better.”

She let out a snort. “Get to know each other? Is that the best you could come up with? Lame!”

Spike mock glared at her. “Lame, you say?” He pretended to be deeply offended. “I’ll have you know, ‘lame’ is not exactly the word I would use to describe what I have planned for tomorrow.”

“Oh, you’ve made plans?” Buffy’s brows went up. “You just asked me out, how can you possibly have made plans already?” Spike opened his mouth to say something, but she beat him to it; “Oh wait, don’t tell me. You gonna ‘shag’ me here on the couch?” She giggled at the shocked expression on his face.

“Well, if you ask nicely...” Their eyes met, and Buffy found herself once again blushing. A part of her had a hard time believing they were actually having this conversation. If anyone had told her a week ago that she would be sitting here with Spike, comfortably making jokes about having sex, she would have laughed hysterically. But suddenly, everything had changed. She had changed. And it was all because of Spike.

“So, what do you say?” Spike’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and she gave him a questioning look. He hurried to clarify; “About tomorrow. Technically, you haven’t answered.”

“Oh! Sorry.” She smiled sweetly at him. “Sounds wonderful. I’d love to have lunch with you.” Lunch, dinner, breakfast, anything you want, a naughty little voice inside her head added. And it doesn’t even have to be food involved... Okay, this was so not like her. Then again, she had seen Spike with his shirt off. A body like that could probably get a nun to throw away her wimple and say hell with celibacy.

Suddenly she remembered something. “Hey, I bet Billy will be pleased when he finds out about us. Now he can stop playing matchmaker.”

Spike snorted, then couldn’t help but grin. “Told you the kid was smart, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, well, it’s good.” Buffy looked relieved. “At least now I don’t have to worry about your son hating me. I could never stand any of the men my mom used to date after my dad left. Could be a real brat sometimes.”

He glanced at her, carefully. “That’s ‘cause you wanted your parents to get back together.” A pause. “As far as Billy’s concerned, that would be the ultimate nightmare.”

Buffy’s smile faltered. “Poor Billy. No kid should have to be afraid of his own mother.” She got a thoughtful look on her face. “I was just wondering... How much does Billy really understand about Drusilla’s condition? I mean, he obviously knows she’s sick, but...”

“You’re asking if he’s aware of the fact that his mum’s locked up at the loony bin?” Spike rolled his eyes. “Been honest with him from the start. He knows. Just don’t like to talk about it.”

“Can’t blame him.” Buffy sighed, then gave him a stern look. “Seriously, Spike, ‘loony bin’? Don’t you think you should watch your language a bit around Billy?”

He looked at her in confusion. “What the bloody hell are you on about?”

“Just saying.” She shook her head, her face a mixture of disapproval and amusement. “The way he talks, there’s no doubt that he’s your kid.”

“Like father – like son, eh?” Spike had the decency to look a little embarrassed.

“Right.” Buffy tried to stay serious. Then a sudden thought occurred to her. “Hey, Billy doesn’t think you and Drusilla are getting back together, does he?”

Spike shrugged. “Asked me about it. Told him s’not gonna happen.” He paused. “It’s true, you know. You don’t have to worry ‘bout her. That part of my life’s over.”

“I know!” She quickly averted her eyes, not wanting to admit that she had thought about it. Spike was right. In a couple of days, he would go to LA to see Drusilla one last time. And when he got back, his marriage would be over for real. Then, none of them would ever have to worry about that woman again.


*~*~*

Meanwhile in LA...

“Good evening, Drusilla.” Doctor Williamson entered the small hospital room, smiling at his patient. “How have you been today?”

The dark-haired woman turned away from the window, watching the man in silence for a moment before returning his smile. “I feel wonderful, doctor. I haven’t felt this good in a long time.”

“That’s good to hear.” The doctor walked over to her, handing her a small plastic cup. “Here’s your medication.”

“The stars told me my William is coming to see me.” Drusilla took the cup from him, putting two small pills into her mouth. “They talk to me in my sleep, whispering their little secrets...”

“That was me. I told you yesterday, remember?” Doctor Williamson looked at her, expectantly.

Drusilla went on, like she hadn’t heard him; “My William’s coming here. And we are going to be a family again.”

“Drusilla, I don’t think...” The man stopped with a sigh, shaking his head. There was no point in arguing with her, he supposed. Instead he just smiled again and left the room.

Waiting for a moment to make sure he was really gone, Drusilla then opened her mouth and let the pills roll back down into the cup. She would not be taking them anymore. Her William was coming back to her, and she needed to stay sharp. It was just a matter of time now before they would all be back together. And this time, she would never let them walk away from her again.


TBC

19


“It’s bloody unfair’s what it is.” Billy took a small bite of his cheese and bologna sandwich, then put it down on the plate again, a sulky expression on his face. “I wanna see Buffy, too, why can’t I come?”

Spike had to bite his tongue to keep from reminding the boy that he was the one who had wanted his father to get together with Buffy in the first place, which would require the two adults to actually spend some time together by themselves. But he didn’t want to give Billy any false hope, since he still wasn’t sure where this thing with Buffy was going.

A part of him wasn’t fully convinced he was ready to get involved with someone, especially since his divorce was not even final yet. But on the other hand, Buffy wasn’t just someone. Being around her made him feel things he had almost given up hope of ever feeling again, and he would be a fool to throw that away just because he was afraid, or might not be ready to move on.

Of course, in his head, he had already moved on a long time ago. But in his heart, it was a different matter. Not that he still had any romantic feelings left for Dru; those feelings had conveniently died the moment he found out what she had been doing behind his back. But at the same time, he couldn’t help but mourn the loss of his failed marriage; just when did things start to get so horribly wrong? He and Dru had been really happy together, at least for a little while.

He had to remind himself that Drusilla was the one who had betrayed him, not the other way around. If things got serious with Buffy, there was nothing saying that their relationship would end up the same way. But still, he couldn’t help but wonder. Maybe it really was because of him. Maybe there was something wrong with him, something that made it impossible for anyone to really love him. In that case, it was just a matter of time before Buffy would come to the same conclusion as Dru; he was just not worth the trouble.

It was dangerous, though, letting his mind wander in that direction, Spike was well aware of that. He had chosen to leave LA so he would be able to start over again, away from his wife. Here in Sunnydale, he and Billy finally had a chance to start their new lives with a clean slate; nobody here knew what they had been through. Except now for Buffy, of course. Also, he had been forced to tell some of Billy’s teachers parts of the story, although he had been vague about the details. Which proved to be a good thing, since there were obviously already rumors going around at school.

But Buffy... Nobody had forced him to tell her a bloody thing about his past. And still, he had told her pretty much all there was to know. He had wanted her to know; not wanting there to be any secrets between them. And why would he feel that way if he hadn’t already decided that he wanted her to be a part of his – and Billy’s – life? So, the problem wasn’t that he didn’t know what he wanted. He just didn’t think he would survive getting his heart broken again.

Buffy’s innocence was another thing he found most thrilling about her. She had clearly been through a lot as well, with her father walking out on his family and her mother dying. Losing both her parents at such an early age must have forced her to grow up. Still, she was open-minded enough not to judge him, after hearing his story about Dru and Billy. Spike didn’t doubt for a second that Buffy would be mature enough to date a man a couple of years older, who also happened to have a kid.

But the fact remained; Buffy was young and innocent. He needed to make sure she really knew what she was getting herself into, should she decide she wanted to start dating him for real. Because he had already come to care deeply about her, and the last thing he wanted was for her to suddenly find herself trapped in a relationship she wouldn’t be ready for. Such a thing would hurt him as much as her.

He suddenly glanced up and his eyes met Billy’s, the boy looking at him expectantly. Spike realized that he had been lost in his own thoughts, forgetting that his son had just asked him a question. Picking up his almost empty cup of coffee, he silently cursed himself for not being more attentive when Billy was around. “You know you have to go to school.” Before Billy got the chance to object, he hurried to add; “Besides, Buffy might still be here when you get home.”

Billy seemed to perk up a bit at that, and he took another bite of his sandwich. “Yeah? Cool.” He kept eating his breakfast in silence.

Spike watched his son with a small frown on his face. Billy had clearly already taken a liking to Buffy, which he found somewhat out of character for the boy who had never really been one to open up to strangers. That was another thing that concerned him. He was not the only one who would get hurt if things didn’t work out between him and Buffy; it would affect Billy as well.

He cleared his throat, now glancing at Billy carefully. “Listen, Billy, I think we should talk a little about Buffy.”

Billy looked up, his face a mixture of wariness and curiosity. “You mean about you and Buffy?”

“Well, yeah.” Spike hesitated for a moment. “All right, look. If things turn out the way I hope, Buffy’s going to be around a lot from now on. First of all, I wanna know if you’re okay with that.” He was pretty certain he already knew the answer to that, but felt the need to ask anyway.

“Yeah, sure.” Billy tilted his head to the side, now with a hopeful expression on his face. “That mean you’re together now?”

“No, that means we’re gonna take things slow and see what happens.” Spike gave his son a firm look as he went on; “Billy, s’important that you understand that this thing with Buffy’s still very new. It takes time to get to know a person; even if two people like each other, it doesn’t mean they will end up together. It’s not enough to just be attracted to each other.” He paused. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Billy seemed to be thinking about it for a moment, then nodded, briefly. “But you do like her, right?”

Spike held back a sigh. Clearly, the boy just chose to hear what he wanted to hear. No real surprise there. “Yes.”

“Good.” Billy shoved the last of his sandwich into his mouth, taking a moment to chew before adding; “Then it’s no big deal. If you get married and it won’t work out, you can just get a divorce.” He picked up his empty glass and got up, heading for the dish washer. Then he looked out the window. “School bus’s here. Gotta go!” With that he grabbed his school bag, and was gone before Spike got the chance to say anything, which was probably just as good since he had absolutely no idea what to say.


TBC

20


“Seriously, pet, s’not funny.” Spike rolled his eyes when Buffy didn’t seem to agree. Instead she just kept giggling.

“You’re right, sorry.” Buffy finally stopped giggling and gave him a soft smile. After eating lunch together at a small diner, they had decided to take a walk back to Spike’s house, both of them in a mood for some fresh air. Somehow, they had ended up in the bedroom and were now half lying comfortably on the bed, just snuggling and talking. She went on; “But you have to admit; Billy’s got an interesting way of seeing things. In a way, he’s got a point.”

He let out a snort. “Right. Whenever there’s a problem, a divorce is the answer to everything.”

It was now Buffy’s turn to roll her eyes. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” She paused for a moment. “Spike, I like you. A lot, actually. I like Billy as well. And this...” She gestured at the two of them on the bed. “...is really nice. But the fact remains; we still haven’t known each other that long. Don’t get me wrong, but there’s always a possibility things won’t work out.”

Spike nodded. “I know.” He was quiet for a moment. “I didn’t plan for this to happen, Buffy. When I left LA, I had my mind set on starting a new life here, just me and Billy. The thought of falling for another woman so soon, or at all...” Seeing how Buffy opened her mouth, he quickly went on; “Well, things don’t always turn out the way you plan, and in this case, I’m glad. What I’m trying to say is...” He looked her deep in the eyes as he continued; “I’m falling for you, Buffy. God help me, but I am. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Buffy found herself melting at his words, feeling it, too. She was falling as well, and hard. A part of her was still surprised by the fact that she already felt so strongly about a man she was just starting to get to know. But for the first time ever, she had decided to just follow her heart, and it felt good. In fact, it felt better than good. It felt great. And to hear that Spike felt the same way, well, it made her feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

Hesitating for a moment, Spike went on, knowing he had to make her see what was on his mind; “Don’t take this the wrong way, luv, but I am a bit older than you. Not by much, but still. The way I feel when I’m with you...” He swallowed, lowering his eyes. “Guess I just need to know if you’re ready for this. Know I don’t have the right to ask you for anything, and seeing how I’m still technically married, you have no reason to...”

He was cut off as Buffy leaned in to brush her lips against his, stopping him in his ramblings. Then she pulled back, looking him straight in the eyes. “Spike, are you ready for this?”

Giving her a startled look, he finally nodded. “Think so.”

“Good.” She was unable to keep the relief out of her voice. “Me, too.” A pause. “I know I’m still young, and I don’t really have much experience. I mean, I’ve been with guys, but I’ve never really lo...” She glanced away, suddenly embarrassed. “I’ve never felt this way before. When you kiss me, I feel like I’m flying. My heart is beating really fast and I’m having a hard time breathing. It’s scary, but at the same time, I don’t want the feeling to go away. Ever.”

Suddenly he felt like crying, wondering what he could possibly have done to deserve her. Buffy could easily just as well have been describing his own feelings, and he found himself wondering when he had last felt that way before he met her. Had he ever had such intense feelings for Drusilla? He thought he might, at least in the beginning, but he wasn’t sure anymore. And it made him both sad and hopeful at the same time.

Maybe there was still a chance for him after all, a chance for both of them. Maybe this time, things would be different. For the first time, he actually allowed himself to start hoping. And it felt good. He reached out a shaky hand towards her face, gently stroking her cheek. “Know what you mean, pet. Promise I’ll do whatever it takes to keep it that way.” His eyes locked on hers, he gently lowered her back on the bed, watching her face for some sign that she wanted him to stop.

It didn’t happen. Instead she just smiled at him; wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him close for a moment. Closing his eyes in relief, Spike happily leaned in to her embrace. He kissed her hungrily, and she eagerly responded by parting her lips slightly, allowing their tongues to meet. Then he pulled back a little, giving her a questioning look as their eyes met. Without a word, Buffy pulled his black t-shirt over his head.


*~*~*

Meanwhile in LA...

Warren Mears hesitated only for a brief moment before pushing the door open and entering the small hospital room. He had been a medical intern at the hospital for almost a week, and so far, his work had mostly consisted of changing wet sheets and fluffing pillows. It infuriated him, as he considered such a humiliating task to be beneath him. He had always known he was way better than this.

He knew he wasn’t allowed to wander around at this particular part of the hospital by himself; the patients here could be most unpredictable and in some cases even dangerous. But he couldn’t help himself; he was curious. Curious, bored, and right now, feeling quite rebellious. In fact, it gave him a rush, knowing how the stuffy, bitchy nurses would have a fit if they caught him here.

Closing the door quietly behind him, he waited a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness in the room. The blinds were down and the lights were off, and he cast a glance at the empty bed. Then he spotted the woman standing by the window, and froze in his tracks. She was standing with her back towards him, and he found himself taking a step back, reaching behind him for the door handle.

Having been convinced that the patients staying at this ward would be too sick, or too out of it, to be able to leave their beds, he had been taken off guard. Maybe he shouldn’t have come here after all. Then again, she had yet to notice him and he could just slip out of the room again like nothing happened. As he moved to do just so, the woman by the window suddenly spoke, causing him to jump.

“The stars are beautiful tonight, don’t you think?” She was still facing away from him, her long, black hair falling in waves down her back.

Frowning, Warren’s eyes moved to the dark blinds, covering both windows in the room. Then he remembered what kind of place this was. “Yeah. Um, you’re absolutely right.”

The woman turned around, and his eyes widened in shock as he got a good look at her face. He had imagined all mental patients to be ugly looking and repulsive, even grotesque. But this woman was neither one of those things. In fact, she was absolutely beautiful. Stunning. And her eyes... Warren swallowed, suddenly feeling an almost desperate urge to move closer. He took another step into the room, his eyes never leaving her face.

She tilted her head to the side, watching him closely for a moment. Then she let out a soft giggle. For some reason, the sound made him think about humming birds. “You are new.” It was a state of fact.

Warren was surprised, not to mention amazed, at how lucid she suddenly seemed. He nervously ran his tongue over his dry lips, his expression one of complete awe. “Yes,” he managed to croak out, then cleared his throat. “Um, my name is Warren. Warren Mears. I – I’m a medical intern.” He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth, knowing that he could easily have lied and claimed to be a doctor. That would have made him seem a lot more important.

“Yes, you are.” She nodded, slowly starting towards him.

Warren neither could, nor wanted to back away. Instead he just stared at her with big eyes. He gulped as she stopped, just a few feet away from him. “What – what’s your name?”

“Hm.” She just looked at him for a moment, then closed the gap between them and put her hand on his cheek. “Sometimes, I can’t remember. They make me forget. Forget who I am. Isn’t that rude?”

“I...” Her hand was cold as ice against his skin, and he found himself shivering. But it wasn’t a total unpleasant feeling. “I guess so. But...” His eyes landed on the name tag on her white nightgown. “Look. It says your name is Drusilla.”

“Drusilla...” Her eyes lit up as she smiled. “Yes. It feels right. I will not forget again.”

“That’s... good.” Warren felt strangely happy about being able to please her. Somewhere at the back of his mind, a little voice was telling him that it was probably time to leave. But he refused to listen. This was by far the most exciting thing that had happened to him since he had started working here at the hospital. And he was eager to keep talking to her. He paused for a moment before he went on; “Um, you said they make you forget. Who are they?”

At first, she didn’t answer. Then she let out a soft whimper, like she was in pain. “He has all of them fooled. My sweet prince has taken my baby. The stars are crying blood, turning the ocean red, but no one will hear them scream.” A single tear rolled down her cheek.

“Sounds... awful.” Warren swallowed, hypnotized by the sight of her tear. “Is – is there anything I can do?”

Drusilla’s smile returned, although this time it didn’t reach her eyes. Warren never noticed. She nodded. “There is.”


TBC

“You gonna live here?”

“What?!” Just barely managing not to drop the bowl of popcorn she was carrying; Buffy stared at Billy in shock. “No! God, whatever gave you that idea?” The boy opened his mouth, but she went on babbling; “I mean, sure, your dad and I are getting closer and I realize I’ve been here a lot lately, but that doesn’t mean we’re ready to live together for God’s sake!”

Billy got a confused expression on his face. “I didn’t mean...”

Buffy interrupted him, not giving him a chance to finish; “Don’t get me wrong. Your dad and I really like each other and I guess you can say we’re sort of a couple now, but moving in together is a really big step and it’s not something you do, until you’re absolutely sure it’s right. Do you understand?”

He nodded. ”Sure. But...”

“Just let me finish!” Billy closed his mouth, rolling his eyes as Buffy continued; “I’m not saying it’s never going to happen, because you never know, right? But it’s way too soon to even think about stuff like that yet. Maybe when...” Her voice trailed off as she saw the look on Billy’s face and frowned. “What?”

The boy gave her a strange look, appearing to be somewhat amused. “Just wondered if you’re gonna stay here when Dad goes to LA tomorrow. Or am I gonna stay at your house?”

“Oh. That’s... Oh.” Buffy felt her cheeks turn bright red and she wished the floor would just open up and swallow her. Clearly she had misunderstood Billy’s innocent question, and she cringed with embarrassment as she realized how much personal information she had let slip out in her desperate attempt of explaining the situation.

Praying that Billy would let her keep what little dignity she felt she had left and just let it go, she forced a smile. “Well, I don’t know. I guess it would probably be best if I just stayed here at your house. After all, you’ve got all your stuff here. Of course, I’ll have to discuss it with your dad, but I think that’s...” She swallowed and finished, weakly; “...the smartest thing to do.”

“Okay.” Billy nodded in acceptance and Buffy let out a sigh of relief. Then he raised a brow, a smirk on his face so similar to Spike’s that she would have laughed, had she not been so embarrassed. “So, you and my dad are together now, huh? I knew it!”

“I...” Buffy suddenly felt like her head was spinning, having absolutely no idea what to say.

Thankfully, Spike chose that moment to enter the kitchen, saving her from further embarrassment. “Hey, where’s the snacks? Movie starts in two minutes.”

“It’s a DVD,” Billy objected with a frown on his face. “Starts whenever we want.”

“Exactly.” Spike nodded, winking at Buffy. “And I want it to start in two minutes, so you two better get your butts in here.” Picking up the tray with three bottles of soda, three spoons, and a large bowl of ice-cream that Buffy had put on the kitchen table before making the popcorn, he went back into the living room.

Buffy couldn’t help but giggle. “You heard him; we better get in there. Wouldn’t wanna miss the beginning.” Billy let out a snort, but followed her without objections.


*~*~*

Almost two hours later, when the movie had finally come to an end, Spike glanced briefly at Buffy before turning to his son. “Getting late, buddy. Better get ready for bed.”

Opening his mouth to protest, Billy then seemed to change his mind. Instead he nodded, although somewhat reluctantly. “Right.” Spike was surprised, having half expected an outburst. But the truth was, Billy had been unusually quiet and obedient all day, and Spike suspected that the boy just didn’t want to do or say anything that would jeopardize his staying with Buffy for the next couple of days.

Buffy smiled at the boy. “Night, Billy. See you tomorrow. We’ll have a great time.”

“Yeah.” Billy hesitated for a moment before looking at his father. “Have you talked to Mum? Does she know you’re coming?”

“Um...” Spike looked a little taken aback. “The doctor called and said she would finally be ready for visitors, but I haven’t talked to her myself. Why?”

“Was just wondering. No big deal.” Billy shrugged. “What if she doesn’t wanna sign the papers?”

Spike cast a glance at Buffy and she immediately took the hint, jumping up from the couch. “I’ll just clear off the table and go get the dish washer started. Excuse me.” She got a grateful smile from Spike and gave him a soft peck on the cheek.

When Buffy had left the room, Spike took a deep breath and turned to Billy, a serious expression on his face. “She’ll sign ‘em, all right? When I get back, it’ll all be over. Trust me.”

But Billy didn’t look totally convinced. “Don’t you think she’ll get mad when she hears about you and Buffy?”

“Nah, I’m not worried ‘bout that.” Spike waved his hand in dismissal. Of course, he had no intention of letting Dru know he was seeing someone. He wasn’t stupid, after all. Knowing Dru, she wouldn’t take something like that very well. And the last thing he wanted was to get into a fight tomorrow. He just wanted to get the divorce papers signed and be done with it. If he was lucky, Drusilla would cooperate.

“So, she’s better now?” Billy gave him a questioning look, clearly not knowing what to believe.

“Yeah.” Spike hesitated, not wanting to lie to his son, but at the same time not sure just how much Billy would really understand. He had always tried to be honest, but sometimes, it was really hard.

The boy looked skeptical. “Then why does she have to stay at the hospital?”

“Because...” Feeling the frustration well up inside him, Spike closed his eyes for a moment. This was bloody unfair. How was he supposed to be able to explain such a thing to a ten-year-old?

“Never mind, I get it.” Billy picked up some left-over popcorn, having fallen out of the bowl, but made no motion of eating them. “She’s better, but she’s not well, either. Right?”

Staring at his son, Spike suddenly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The kid was bright; no question about it, probably understanding a lot more than most people would give him credit for. But that was just it. Smart or not, Billy was still just a kid. He shouldn’t have to understand these things yet. Letting out a sigh, Spike nodded. “Yeah, that’s about it.”

“Thought so.” Billy nodded, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Will she ever be?”

Spike opened his mouth, about to say yes, then stopped himself, knowing that he had no right to make such a promise. “I don’t know,” he finally admitted.

Billy seemed to accept the honest answer, much to Spike’s relief. He nodded again and got up from the couch. “Going to bed now.”

“You do that.” Spike found himself wishing for a smoke. That, or a strong drink. Or possibly both. “See you in the morning.”

“Night.” Billy dropped the crumpled pieces of popcorn on the table, wiped his hands on his t-shirt and headed for the stairs.

A couple of minutes later, Buffy appeared in the doorway. “Hey.” She glanced around the room to make sure Billy was gone before holding up a bottle of red wine. “Thought you could use a drink by now.” Taking a hesitant step into the room, she bit her lip nervously.

Slumping back against the pillows, Spike patted the couch next to him. “Get over here, luv. And bring that bottle.” He paused, giving her a small smile. “You’re right; a drink’s exactly what I need right now.”

“I figured.” Buffy made her way over to the couch and sat down, putting the bottle and two wine glasses down on the table. “Billy okay?”

“Think so.” Reaching for the bottle, Spike opened it and poured some of the red liquid into the glasses. “Got a lot on his mind right now.”

Buffy nodded in understanding. “Can’t blame him.” A pause. “And what about you? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” He responded quickly, avoiding Buffy’s eyes as he handed her one of the glasses. “Here you go, pet.”

“Thanks.” She watched him in silence for a moment, taking a small sip of her wine. “So, I take it you don’t wanna talk about it.”

For a brief moment, he considered playing dumb and claim to have no idea what she was talking about, but decided against it. Buffy wasn’t stupid. Instead he sighed. “Just not sure what you want me to say.”

“How about the truth?” Buffy gave him a patient look. “How do you really feel about going to see your wife tomorrow?”

“Ex wife,” he stated, automatically. “Look, Buffy, I realize this has to be weird for you. I’m sorry for putting you through this.”

“Don’t be.” She took his hand, squeezing it softly. “Spike, I’m okay with this. Billy and I’ll be fine, and we’ll both be here when you get back. But please don’t change the subject. I was asking about you.”

“I know.” Spike was quiet for a moment. “Truth is, I don’t know how I feel about it. Not looking forward to it, but at the same time, I can’t wait to get it over with. That make any sense?”

Buffy got a sympathetic look on her face. “Yeah, it makes perfect sense.” She paused for a moment. “Honestly, I can’t wait for you to get it over with, either. I’ll miss you.”

He brought her hand up to his lips, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles. “I’ll miss you, too, luv.” More than you even realize, he thought. Now he could only pray that things would go smoothly in LA. Because right now, the only thing he wanted was to put an end to his miserable excuse for a marriage once and for all, so that he, Buffy, and Billy would all be able to start their new lives together.


TBC

“You’ll behave now when I’m gone, yeah? Don’t give Buffy a hard time.” Spike raised a brow as he looked at his son. “Don’t wanna come back and find out you’ve been sneaking girls up to your room, you hear?” He said the last part with a teasing note in his voice, glancing at Buffy, who tried to hide her amusement.

“Girls?!” Billy stared at his father with a horrified expression on his face. “Why would I wanna do that?” He looked like the mere thought sickened him.

“You say that now.” Buffy smiled. “Just wait and see. Before you know it, you’ll be out on your first date.”

“Oi!” Spike mock glared at her. “Don’t give him any ideas.” She raised her hands in an apologetic gesture, although still smiling.

Billy let out a snort, looking deeply offended. “Not bloody likely! You’ll have to kiss and stuff when you go out on dates. That’s gross.”

“You mean like this?” Spike pulled Buffy into his arms, brushing his lips softly against hers. Pulling back a little, he gave her a questioning look. “Well? Was that gross?”

“Hm.” Buffy pretended to be thinking. “I’m not sure. Do it again.” Just like she had expected, Spike was happy to oblige. Billy rolled his eyes, although he couldn’t help but watch them with a hint of curiosity.

Finally Spike let go of Buffy, although most reluctantly, only to notice that she obviously didn’t like the idea of being separated from him anymore than he did. She pouted a little, all of the sudden an almost miserable expression on her face, and he felt a pang in his chest, wishing that he wouldn’t have to go. But he didn’t have much of a choice. Besides, it wasn’t like he’d be gone forever. With any luck, he’d be back again by tomorrow night.

“Hey, none of that.” He ran his fingers tenderly down her cheek. “Be back before you know it.”

“Yeah.” Buffy gave him a weak smile before turning to the boy. “We’ll be okay, won’t we, Billy?”

“Sure.” Billy nodded, clearly intending to act casual, but not quite succeeding. He glanced at his father. “Once Mum’s signed the papers, you’ll come back, right?”

Spike frowned, taken aback by the look of genuine uncertainty on the boy’s face. “Course I will. You know that.”

“Right.” Billy made another attempt of sounding nonchalant. “Just checking.” A pause. “And she’ll sign ‘em.” It was more a statement than a question, but there was still a slight hint of doubt in his voice.

“Yes, she will.” Spike looked him right in the eyes, a firm expression on his face. “Billy, we’ve talked about this.” He looked at Buffy, realizing that she appeared to be quite concerned. Their eyes met and he forced a smile.

“You’ll call when you get there?” She slid her arms around his waist, resting her head against his shoulder for a moment.

“Will do, luv.” Spike swallowed. Suddenly he got an uneasy feeling inside, and he wondered where it was coming from. Not that he expected this little trip to LA to be a walk in the park, but still, all he had to do was try to have a somewhat civil conversation with his crazy, cheating, child abusing, soon-to-be ex-wife. He could do that, as long as it would mean her finally being out of his and Billy’s lives for good.

And for the possibility of Dru not wanting to sign the bloody divorce papers, well, Spike was convinced that he could get her to come around. Luckily, he could be quite persistent when he wanted to. No way would he be leaving LA before having gotten what he came for, and he had every intention of making that very clear to Drusilla, right from the start. He wasn’t about to let her manipulate him in any way.

So, why was he worried? Like Buffy said; she and Billy would be just fine by themselves until he got back. He doubted they would have any problems getting along, and Billy would be much better off as far away from LA and his mother as possible. Taking a deep breath, he pulled his son in for a hug. “Take care, buddy. I’ll talk to you tonight. Now be good.”

“I will.” Billy looked a little uncomfortable, but nodded in agreement. “Won’t cause any trouble. Promise.”

“That’s my boy.” Spike turned to Buffy, tilting his head to the side. “Come here, you.” She willingly walked right into his arms. “You be good, too, yeah? Might find a way to make it up to you for lost time when I get back.”

Buffy gave him a sad smile. “Gonna hold you to that. Now go, before I make us all uncomfortable by starting to cry.” Although she meant it like a joke, she couldn’t quite keep her bottom lip from trembling. She couldn’t understand why she felt so sad. Spike would only be gone for a couple of days, and she would have Billy around to keep her company. Still, she missed Spike already, and he hadn’t even left yet.

Spike leaned in to give her one final kiss – putting as much passion into it as he could muster with his son standing only a few feet away – before stepping away from the two people he cared about more than anything in the whole world, and jumped into his car.


*~*~*

Meanwhile in LA...


“What do you think you’re doing here?” Doctor Walsh watched the young man in front of her, eyes narrowing suspiciously. “Last time I checked, medical interns are strictly forbidden to wander around by themselves at this part of the hospital.”

“Oh, I was just...” Warren gulped, desperately searching his mind for some kind of explanation. How typical for him to run into that old hag. The other interns, and even some of the younger nurses, used to refer to her as ‘the evil bitch monster of death’, and he couldn’t help but find the name rather fitting. He cleared his throat. “Actually, I’m here because...”

“He’s with me, Doctor Walsh.” A young, pretty brunette hurried up behind them, accidentally stumbling and dropping a pile of papers on the floor. “Oh, darn!” Glad for the distraction, Warren immediately bent down to help her, and she gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you.”

Doctor Walsh hesitated for a moment before clearly deciding that neither of them was worth more of her time. “Very well. I assume you will remain in Doctor Burkle’s company from now on, and not walk around by yourself. I will not have you upsetting the patients.”

“Of course.” Warren put on a strained smile. The older woman glared at him for a moment before finally leaving. He let out a sigh of relief, turning to his rescuer; “Wow, that was close. Thank you.”

She let out a nervous giggle. “Oh, don’t worry about it. But you really shouldn’t be here.” A pause. “You’re one of the new interns, right? I’ve seen you around. I’m Doctor Winnifred Burkle, but most people call me Fred.” She reached out her hand in greeting, which he accepted after a brief moment’s hesitation. “So, what are you doing here?”

“I, uh...” Warren thought quickly. “A friend of mine’s staying here,” he lied. “We’ve sort of drifted apart, with her being sick and all. I just wanted to see her, you know, make sure she’s all right.” Holding his breath, he hoped she would fall for it.

“Oh.” Fred got a sympathetic look on her face. “I’m sorry to hear that. I take it you’re not on the list of authorized visitors?”

Warren shrugged, apologetically. “No, I’m afraid not. But maybe you could...?” He raised a brow, leaving the rest of the question hanging. Seeing how she was about to object, he hurried to add; “I won’t stay long. Just a couple of minutes. Please? It would really mean a lot to me.”

“I don’t know...” Fred hesitated, clearly torn between her duty as a doctor and her heart. Finally she sighed. “All right. Five minutes. And that’s all. We could both get in trouble for this.”

Beyond relieved, Warren nodded, eagerly. “Thank you.” He let his hand discretely slip into his pocket, making sure the paper was still there. It was. Drusilla would be pleased with him.


*~*~*

“What’s that smell?” Billy stopped in the doorway, eyes widening as he saw the smoke coming from the oven. “Dinner’s on fire?”

“No!” Buffy quickly grabbed a dish towel and hurried to open the oven, waving her hand in front of her face as even more black smoke welled out. “It’s just an experiment. A failed experiment, I might add. Wanna call for pizza?” She put on a bright smile, although inwards she cringed.

“Sure.” Billy shrugged and went to get the phone, returning a moment later. He watched Buffy’s weak attempt of cleaning up the mess she’d made with a doubtful expression. “You really can’t cook, can you?”

Buffy sighed. “No, I really can’t. Sorry.”

“That’s okay.” Billy waved his hand in dismissal. “I like pizza.”

“Me, too.” She let out a small chuckle. “Maybe we shouldn’t tell your dad about this little...” She hesitated, not sure what to call it.

“Experiment?” Billy helpfully suggested, using her word.

She nodded with a sheepish smile. As Billy quickly dialed the number to the pizza place – something he was clearly quite familiar with – she couldn’t help but wonder what Spike was doing at that moment. He had promised to call before he went to see Drusilla and she couldn’t wait to hear his voice. She had never thought it was possible to miss someone this much, seeing how they had just recently started dating.

Billy’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she realized that he was talking to her. She shook her head, as if to clear it. “Sorry, spaced out for a while. What did you say?”

“The pizzas will be here in twenty minutes.” The boy watched her closely. “Thinking ‘bout Dad?”

Starting to say no, Buffy then decided against it. “Actually, yes. Good guess.” She smiled a little.

He was quiet for a moment. “Are you worried because he’s going to see my mum?”

“What? No!” Buffy forced a laugh, although it sounded false, even to her ears. “Are you?”

Billy didn’t answer at first. Then he shrugged. “Why would I be worried?”

“I don’t know.” Buffy hesitated a little. “Why don’t you tell me?”

He just looked at her for a moment, clearly not sure whether or not to say anything. Then he walked over to the fridge. “Want Coke or Pepsi? Think we have both.”

“Coke will be fine.” She let out a sigh, realizing that whatever the boy was thinking, he was obviously not in a mood for sharing. Maybe it was for the best. Because she wasn’t sure she was ready to hear what he had to say about his mother.


TBC

23

“Got it!” Quickly closing the door behind him, Warren stopped with a frown, his eyes darting around the dark room. “Drusilla?”

“You are late.” Stepping out of the shadows, Drusilla cocked her head to the side. “Were you seen?”

“No! Of course not.” He let out a nervous laugh. “It’s cool. I knew what I was doing.”

She watched him closely for a moment, then a smile spread on her face. Letting out a squeal, she eagerly clapped her hands together. “Good puppy deserves a treat. Come here.”

“Really?” Warren obediently walked over to her, chuckling a little. “Was nothing, really. I just...” He stopped himself, giving her a hopeful look. “Just what exactly do you mean by ‘treat’?”

“Hm...” Drusilla ran her fingers through his hair. “Means you do what I say, and you will be rewarded.” She put her other hand on his cheek, leaning closer, like she was going to kiss him. Then she stopped, her lips mere inches away from his. “Tell me, sweet puppy, what do you want?”

“Seriously?” Warren could barely contain himself, but struggled to act casual. “Can I, um...?” He hesitated. “Can I see your boobs?”

Drusilla frowned, clearly taken aback. “My... boobs?” He nodded, eagerly. “You get to choose your reward, and you wish to see my breasts?”

“Um, yeah?“ Warren gulped. “Please?”

Giving him a strange look, Drusilla then smiled a little. “Very well.” She took his hand, calmly placing it over her left breast. “Do you like this?”

“Are you kidding?” He swallowed. “Wow, this is so cool!” A pause. “So, can I...?” He glanced at the buttons of her nightgown.

Instead of answering, Drusilla grabbed his wrist, a little too hard for Warren’s liking. “You wish to see, and so do I. Show me.”

Eyes widening in surprise and confusion, he looked down at his chest. “You wanna see my...?” He stopped as realization hit him. “Oh.” A somewhat embarrassed laugh escaped him. “Right. Of course.” Reaching into his pocket, he quickly pulled out a neatly folded paper and handed it to her. “Here.”

Practically ripping the paper out of his hand, she giggled in excitement. But as her eyes greedily ran over the text, her expression started to change. “No, no, no...” Drusilla glanced up, a hard look on her face. “This is all wrong!” She threw the paper away from her in disgust.

“What?” Warren stared at her. “Oh, no, I did what you asked. You wanted information about your husband. I hacked into the hospital computer system, and this is what I found. So, about my reward...”

“This is nothing!” Drusilla glared at him before furiously starting to pace back and forth, mumbling to herself; “Bad, bad, bad puppy...”

“Wait...” He hurried after her, carefully putting his hand on her arm. She spun around, and in a blink of an eye, her arm shot out towards his face, her long, sharp fingernails scratching his cheek hard enough to break the skin and draw blood. Warren hissed in pain and jumped back. “Hey!”

“I can not use this.” Her eyes were cold as ice. “This is not what I need.”

“But...” Warren hesitated for a moment, torn between the sudden urge of running, and his desire to please the woman in front of him. “I’m sorry; I guess I didn’t understand just what it was you wanted.” He paused, desperately searching his mind for something that would put him back in her good graces.

Reaching down to pick up the crumpled paper from the floor, he cleared his throat. “Look; your husband lives in a town called Sunnydale. Here’s the address. That’s something, right?” He held his breath, waiting for her reaction. She just looked at him, and he swallowed. “Except that you’re locked up here, so you can’t really... go anywhere. Oh, crap...”

“My Spike is coming to see me.” Drusilla’s anger seemed to fade a little as she walked over to the window, her fingers running slowly over the glass. “Won’t be long now. Tick-tock... Soon.” She was silent for a moment. Then she let out a soft moan and raised her arms above her head. “Puppy must leave. I need to prepare myself for the party.”

For a moment, Warren didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. But he was wise enough not to object, and nodded in agreement. “That’s probably a good idea. Um, I‘ll see you later?” He waited for some kind of response, but Drusilla kept her back towards him, her eyes locked on the dark blind covering the window, and giggled at something only she could see.


*~*~*

Reaching for another slice of pizza, Billy kept shoving food into his mouth like he’d never eaten before, and Buffy found herself watching him in fascination. Unlike her, there was obviously nothing wrong with the boy’s appetite. She, on the other hand, had barely touched her food. All she could think of was Spike – how much she missed him, and why he had yet to call and let them know everything was okay.

It suddenly hit her that Billy had barely said two words since their pizzas had arrived, and she watched him again, a little more closely this time. Billy was the one who had suggested they would eat in front of the TV, but now she realized that he kept his eyes on his food, almost like hypnotized, completely ignoring what was happening on the screen.

Buffy got the strange feeling that he had wanted the TV to be on, just so they wouldn’t have to talk, something that – as far as she was concerned – was deeply out of character for him. She opened her mouth, then closed it again, suddenly not sure what to say. Unaware of her sudden concern, Billy slumped back into the couch and started tapping his fingers against the cushion.

She recognized the behavior; an almost desperate need to keep his hands busy with something – anything, having seen Spike act exactly the same way whenever he was nervous or worried. Although she found it cute, seeing how the two of them were so much alike without even realizing it, the thought of something seriously bothering Billy made her heart ache for him.

Just as she had finally decided to say something about it – although she still had no idea what – the phone rang, startling them both. Feeling the hope rise, she started to get up, but Billy beat her to it; jumping up from the couch and rushing to pick up the cordless phone from the table. She held her breath, praying it would be Spike.

“Hello? Hey, Dad.” Buffy could clearly see the change in Billy’s behavior; from sulky and restless to nonchalant in a blink of an eye. She frowned, wondering what that was about, but tried to focus on what he was saying. “No, everything’s fine. Eating pizza.” A pause. “Yeah, Buffy tried to cook. Don’t know what it was, but it looked even worse than your cottage pie.”

“Okay!” Buffy cleared her throat, holding out her hand while blushing furiously. “Billy, sweetie, can I please talk to your dad?”

The boy glanced at her for a moment, then turned his attention back to his father on the other end of the phone. “Are you in LA now? You seen Mum yet?”

Buffy had to struggle to keep from jumping up and down in frustration while Billy kept talking to Spike for a couple of minutes, and when he finally handed her the phone, she felt like hours had passed. She tried not to sound as eager as she felt when she brought the phone to her ear. “Spike?”

“Hey, pet.” For some reason, just hearing his voice made her want to cry, and she turned her back towards Billy. “How you doin’, luv? Miss you.”

“I miss you, too.” Buffy swallowed. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, m’fine.” She could hear some kind of noise in the background. “Arrived at the motel ‘bout ten minutes ago. Just gonna unpack, then I’m off.” A pause. “Call you again as soon as I get back, yeah? Just wanna get it over with.”

How badly she could relate to that feeling. She really, really wanted it to be over as well. “Okay. I’m glad you called. Can’t wait to talk to you some more.” She glanced at Billy, who had returned to the couch and what was left of his pizza. “I wish you were here. I don’t like being so far away from you.”

She heard him chuckle a little. “Feeling’s mutual, pet. Can’t wait to get back to you. Both of you.” He was quiet for a moment, clearly reluctant to hang up. “Better go, luv. Talk to you later.”

“All right. Bye, honey.” Buffy pouted a little as she hung up, then rolled her eyes at herself and went to sit down next to Billy. “So, your dad’s in LA. Everything’s just fine. He said he’ll call again later tonight.”

“I know.” Billy looked up from his food. “He’s off to see Mum.”

“Yeah.” Buffy bit her lip, hesitating for a moment. “You wanna talk about that?”

At first, he didn’t answer. Then he pushed away his plate with a grimace. “Had enough.”

“Me, too.” She gave him a patient look. “Look, Billy...”

“What?” He sighed. “My mum’s sick. Dad already told you. Makes her do bad things. That’s why she can’t live with us.”

“Yes, I know.” Buffy nodded. “I just thought maybe you wanted to tell me how you feel about it.”

The boy shrugged. “What’s to tell? I’m glad she’s locked up. That way she can’t hurt me again.”

Buffy closed her eyes for a moment, feeling a wave of sympathy well up inside her. “She did hurt you, didn’t she? Your dad told me what happened. I’m sorry.”

Billy shrugged again. “Was a long time ago. Doesn’t matter now.” He paused. “Dad said you thought he was hurting me.”

She was taken aback by his statement, having almost forgotten about that. It felt like a lifetime ago. “I was wrong. I’ve already apologized to your father for jumping to conclusions. He would never hurt you. I know that now.”

Billy nodded, a thoughtful expression on his face, and Buffy found herself wondering what was going on inside his head. She suspected he had a lot of suppressed emotions building up inside, and sooner or later, it would all have to come out, one way or the other. The question was, would he trust her enough by then to let her help him?


TBC

24


“Um, excuse me? Hello?” Spike waved his hand a little to catch the receptionist’s attention. He had been waiting by the counter for almost five minutes, and was already starting to get sick of this place. Glancing around the waiting room, he almost felt the walls closing in on him, and shuddered. The way he saw it, if people weren’t already crazy when they got here, it probably wouldn’t take too long.

The young woman looked up briefly and gave him a strained smile, held up a hand – with long, perfectly manicured fingers nails – to indicate that she was busy, before turning her attention back to the phone; “So, where was I? Oh, yeah. Aura’s date with Chad. Can you believe...?”

“Oh, for the love of...!” Spike rolled his eyes, not bothering to hide his irritation. “Excuse me!” The woman behind the counter looked up again, her eyes narrowing, and he found himself wondering why on earth the hospital would hire someone like her to work in the reception. Of course, he kept his opinion to himself and forced a smile as he read her name tag. “Hello, Cordelia. My name’s Spike. If it’s not too much trouble, would you be so kind and give me some service, here?”

The woman’s expression changed, and a wide smile spread on her face. She tossed her long hair over her shoulder. “Oh, I’ll be happy to service you, Spike.” After quickly mumbling a ‘later’ into the phone, she batted her long eyelashes at him and gave him an expectant look.

“Yeah. Right.” Spike cleared his throat, ignoring her obvious attempt at flirting with him. “Here to see my wife.”

“Oh.” Cordelia’s smile faded and she let out a snort. “Of course. What’s her name?”

“Drusilla Pratt. She should be expecting me.” Spike glanced at his watch. He couldn’t wait to get this over with, so he could go back to his motel room and call Buffy again. Half a day without her, and he already missed her like crazy.

Cordelia typed something on the computer, then looked up again. “You’ll have to fill out some forms where you sign in as a visitor. I’ll get the papers.” She started typing again. “It’ll take a couple of minutes, though.” Before he got the chance to respond, she jumped up and headed towards a large file cabinet at the far end of the room. Spike sighed, leaning against the counter. Obviously, this was going to take longer than he had expected.

“Excuse me? William Pratt?” A voice interrupted his thoughts.

Spike spun around, eying the tall, dark-haired man in front of him with a frown. “That’s me.”

“Oh, good. You’ve been expected.” The man seemed almost nervous for some reason, and he kept glancing over his shoulder. “If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you to your wife’s room.”

“All right, but...” Spike hesitated. “Think I’m supposed to sign something first. I was just...” He gestured to the reception.

The other man looked a little taken aback, then waved his hand in dismissal. “Oh, that’s just formality. You can do that later.” He paused for a moment. “I’m a doctor.”

“Right.” There was something about this man that seemed a little off, but Spike couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He shrugged. “Lead the way, then.” The man who had introduced himself as a doctor turned around and headed for the large, closed doors at the other end of the corridor, motioning for him to follow.

When Cordelia returned to the counter a couple of minutes later, Spike was gone, and the waiting room seemingly empty. She frowned, her eyes darting around the room. Then she shrugged, dropped the forms at her desk and picked up the phone again. She quickly dialed a number, waited for a moment, then let out a little squeal. “Harmony, it’s me again. Oh my God, you should’ve seen this guy who was just here! Yeah, a total hottie...”


*~*~*

“Hey, Dr. Burkle! Wait up!” Spotting the tall brunette in the corridor, Warren rushed after her. “I need to talk to you.”

“Oh, hi, Warren.” Fred smiled. “I told you to call me Fred. How are you?”

“I’m fine, thanks.” He returned her smile, although a bit awkwardly.

“That’s nice.” She watched him, curiously. “And how’s your friend?”

“You mean Drusilla?” As she nodded, Warren hesitated a little. “Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Do you have a minute?”

She nodded again, a somewhat concerned look on her face. “Of course.”

“You see, the thing is...” Warren suddenly found himself wishing he’d had time to think this through, a bit more thoroughly. But the truth was, the idea had hit him out of the blue, and he had acted out of pure impulse at the sight of the female doctor. He figured that if anyone could help him with this, it would be her.

Warren had not been prepared for the sudden fit of jealousy he had felt when he met Drusilla’s husband. The way she had been talking about her ‘sweet William’ made him realize that he wanted to be the guy who received her full attention. But for that to happen, he needed to do something to get her mind off this husband of hers.

And the best way to do that, he pondered, was to make sure the two of them would be able to spend even more time together, by themselves, without risking anyone interrupting them. He also suspected that Drusilla could use a change in her environment. She may be sick in some way, but that was no reason why she should be locked up in the same tiny little room day after day. No wonder she sometimes got a little confused, he thought.

“I’ve been thinking,” he finally went on. “It would probably do her good to get out of her room some time. Get some fresh air. Maybe I could take her out into the garden. I’m sure she’d like that.”

“Oh, I don’t know...” Fred’s smile faltered. “Drusilla’s not really my patient; I would need to consult Dr. Williamson...”

“No!” Warren let out a nervous laugh, seeing her confusion. There was just no way the older, much stuffier doctor would even let him into Drusilla’s hospital room as long as he wasn’t on the list of visitors, let alone allow him to move her outside. Asking anyone but Fred for permission would be pointless. He cleared his throat. “I mean, I don’t wanna bother him with this. I’m sure he’s very busy, with the arrival of the new patients and all.”

“Sure, but...” Fred hesitated. “Even so, you do realize that I can’t just let you take her all by yourself, right? I mean, no offense, but you’re just a medical intern, not a doctor, or even a nurse. I would have to come with you, make sure...”

“I can handle it.” Warren gave her a pleading look. “Come on! There won’t be any trouble. Drusilla’s on heavy medication, remember? She’ll stay calm.” Seeing how Fred was about to object, he hurried on; “I know! Why don’t we go visit her together later tonight, after Dr. Williamson’s made the round? That way you can see for yourself.” He mentally kept his fingers crossed; hoping he would be right and Dru would behave.

“Well...” Fred let out a defeated sigh. “All right, we’ll go see her. But I’m not making any promises.”

Warren smiled in relief. He was quite certain that he could get her to agree with him, and as long as he and Drusilla would make sure to leave the hospital building during Fred’s shift, no one else would ever have to find out. Then they could go sit somewhere out in the garden, getting to know each other better. And the more time they would spend together, the closer they would become.

It was just a matter of time before Drusilla would realize that he was the only man she needed in her life, that he – Warren – was the man she could count on. And then, she would forget all about her husband. Truth to be told, he didn’t really understand where these strong feelings were coming from, nor did he think he could explain them should anyone ask. But it didn’t matter. Drusilla would soon come to see him as the important person he was. And Warren just couldn’t wait.


*~*~*

“Dru?” Spike entered the small room, quietly closing the door behind him.

“Hello, William.” Drusilla stepped away from the window and turned around to face him. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

“That’s... nice.” He hesitated for a moment. “How are you?”

She didn’t answer. Instead, she looked around the room in expectation. “Where is my baby?”

Spike held back a sigh, feeling like he was talking to a small child. “Billy’s back at home.”

Drusilla’s eyes narrowed. “You dare to keep him away from me. You have turned my boy against me, poisoned his mind.”

“That’s bollocks, Dru, and you bloody well know it.” Spike rolled his eyes. “Was his own decision. He didn’t wanna come here; I had nothing to do with it.”

“You lie!” She pointed her finger at him, accusingly. “Lies, lies, lies... You do not wish for him to see me. But you can’t keep him from me forever. I’m his mummy.”

“That you are.” Unfortunately, he almost added. “But you’re not well, Dru. You hurt Billy, really bad. And you hurt yourself, as well. That’s why you’re here.”

“Pain. Yes, I remember. Feeding on it, like little worms in the ground.” She nodded, slowly. “But I’m better.”

“That’s good.” Spike closed his eyes for a moment, feeling an upcoming headache. “Listen, Dru, I have some papers here I need you to sign. It’s about the divorce. We talked about it before you came here, remember?” He held his breath, mentally preparing himself for an outburst.

Drusilla was quiet for a moment, an unreadable expression on her face. Then she walked over to the bed and sat down. “I’m tired.”

Spike fought the urge to slam his fist into the wall in frustration. “Right. I understand. If you’ll just sign the soddin’ papers, I’m out of here.”

“I wanna see Billy.” She gave him a stubborn look.

Silently counting to ten, Spike forced himself to stay calm. He had a sinking feeling that she knew exactly what she was doing, and he was not about to let her behavior get to him. “Yeah, well, he doesn’t wanna see you. So unless he’ll change his mind – which I seriously doubt – this conversation’s over.”

She glared at him, her eyes cold. “I’m going to rest, now. You should leave.”

Spike opened his mouth, then closed it again. It was clearly not worth the trouble of arguing with her at this point, because it would only lead to him losing his temper for real. If he wanted the divorce papers signed, he would just have to be patient, for a little while longer, anyway. So, he nodded. “I’ll come back tomorrow, then. But it’ll happen, Dru. Our marriage is over, and has been for a long time. The sooner you accept it, the better for all of us.”

When she showed no sign of agreeing, he let out a sigh of irritation and left the room. Drusilla remained on the bed, fury welling up inside her. “This will not do,” she whispered to herself. “This will not do at all...”


TBC

25


“So...” Buffy cast a look at Billy, eager to lighten the mood. “Um, how’s school?” He turned to look at her, clearly unimpressed, and she couldn’t really blame him. Surely, she could’ve come up with something a little less lame to talk about. It was just that she suddenly felt a bit uncertain about how to act around the boy.

For some reason, she and Billy had gotten along right from the start, but now, it was just the two of them and she was the one in charge. And that was not a situation she was very familiar with. Also, he had been gloomy ever since Spike had left, and she just didn’t know what to do about it. It was obvious that he didn’t want to talk about what was bothering him, and she couldn’t exactly force him to talk to her.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea.” She tried to sound perky. “When your dad gets back, why don’t we all do something real fun? Go away for the whole day, like an outing.”

He looked at her again, a little more interested this time. “Go where?”

“I don’t know.” Buffy thought for a moment, unable to come up with something they would all be interested in. “What would you like to do?”

Billy got a thoughtful expression on his face, and then his eyes lit up. “Can we go to the zoo?”

Buffy smiled, remembering Billy’s fondness for animals. Then her thoughts went to Princess Leia, and her smile faded a little. Over the last couple of days, her mind had been occupied with other things, and she had almost forgotten about her poor cat. Immediately feeling guilty, she swallowed and nodded. “Sure, why not?”

“Cool.” Billy hesitated for a moment. “When do you think Dad’s coming back?”

“I don’t know. Soon.” She tried to keep a bright note in her voice, knowing she didn’t quite succeed.

“Tomorrow?” Billy pressed, clearly not satisfied with the answer.

Buffy let out a sigh. “Seriously, Billy, I don’t know. He’ll call again later tonight, you can ask him yourself.”

Billy slumped back against the couch, his bad mood returning. “Maybe he’ll forget.”

“Of course he won’t forget,” Buffy insisted, a firm look on her face. “Why would he do that?”

The boy shrugged, avoiding her eyes. “Maybe my mum wants them to get back together. If I’m not around...”

“All right, hold it right there.” Buffy took a deep breath and silently counted to five; a trick she had learned from Spike. “That’s not gonna happen. Your dad already talked to you about this. The only reason he’s going to see your mother is so she can...”

“Sign the soddin’ divorce papers, blah, blah, blah...” Billy rolled his eyes. “She’s not gonna do it, you know. Dad might think she will, but she won’t.”

“Billy, that’s not true.” Buffy closed her eyes for a moment, suddenly feeling a headache coming up. “Why do you say that?”

“Cause she won’t.” He looked her right in the eyes, a stubborn note in his voice as he continued; “You’re thinking it, too, you just don’t wanna say it. You’re afraid he won’t come back.”

Buffy’s eyes widened in shock. She refused to admit, even to herself, that the thought had briefly crossed her mind. Of course, she had quickly dismissed it. “Not at all. I trust your dad completely. And so should you. In fact...” She stopped as realization hit her. “But that’s the problem, isn’t it? You don’t. You’re the one who’s afraid he won’t come back. Isn’t that right?”

Billy got a startled expression on his face. He shook his head. “I’m not afraid.”

“You know what?” Buffy watched him, closely. “I think that’s a lie. Look, Billy...”

“I’m not lying!” He jumped up from the couch, glaring at her.

She immediately realized that she had touched a nerve, and raised her hands in a calming gesture. “I’m sorry. What I meant to say was; it’s okay to be afraid. But in this case, you’re wrong. Your dad loves you more than anything, and he will come back as soon as he can. Don’t ever doubt that.”

His eyes narrowed, but he didn’t say anything. Buffy sighed and went on; “You know, Billy, he thinks you’re blaming him for what happened back in LA. Because he couldn’t stop your mother from hurting you.” She paused. “But that’s not really true, is it? It’s not your father you’re blaming. It’s yourself.”

Billy snorted. “That’s bollocks!” She just looked at him, and he seemed a little taken aback. “Said a bad word again. Aren’t you gonna yell at me?”

The genuine confusion on his face made her heart ache. She shook her head, giving him a soft smile. “No, Billy, I’m not.”

“Why not?” His bottom lip started trembling. “I’m bad. I’m doing bad things.”

“Now you listen to me.” Buffy crouched next to him, taking both his hands in hers. “You’re not bad. You’ve done nothing wrong. It’s not your fault that your mom’s sick. And it’s certainly not your fault that your parents are getting a divorce. Is that what this is about?”

He shrugged, quickly wiping at his eyes. “I wanted Mum to go away.”

“Well, that’s understandable. She didn’t treat you very well.” Buffy hesitated for a moment. “You know, she hurt your dad as well. Not physically, of course, but there are other ways. The thing is, I believe she did what she did because something in her head makes it hard for her to tell right from wrong. And that has nothing to do with you. You hear me?”

Billy tilted his head to the side, clearly considering her words. Then he nodded. “Yeah.”

“Good.” Buffy let out the breath she had been holding. Then she cast a glance at her watch. “I’m sure your dad will call any minute, hopefully with good news. Either way, he’s coming back to us. We’re going to the zoo, remember?” He actually smiled a little, much to her relief. And she found herself actually believing her own words.


*~*~*

“Hi, Drusilla.” Fred gave the dark-haired woman a warm smile. “You remember me? I’m Dr. Burkle. How are you?”

“I feel good.” Drusilla was sitting in the armchair over by the window. Now she noticed Warren, who had followed Fred into the room. She looked at him, but didn’t say anything.

“That’s great.” Fred glanced at Warren as well, before turning back to Drusilla. “I heard the two of you are friends. That’s very nice.” She paused. “Warren thought maybe you’d like to step outside for a little while. Get some fresh air. He was talking about taking you out into the garden. How would you feel about that?”

Drusilla cocked her head to the side. “Would I be able to see the stars?”

“Um...” Fred hesitated, looking at her watch. “I think it’s still too early for that.”

A cryptic smile spread on Drusilla’s pale face. “The stars are always out there, Doctor. Watching us. Listening to our secrets. You just need to know where to look.”

“Well, I suppose that’s true.” Fred let out a nervous little laugh. “So, would you like to go?”

“Yes.” Her smile widened. “I would like that very much.” Warren resisted the urge to jump for joy, extremely happy over the fact that Drusilla was pleased with his suggestion.

“All right, then.” Fred turned to Warren. “I guess it’s okay. You’ve got half an hour. I mean it, Warren. Don’t disappoint me.”

He shook his head, a serious look on his face. “I won’t. Thank you.”

Fred’s face softened a little. “You’re welcome. I’ll be right back with a wheelchair.”

Frowning, Warren cast a look at Drusilla. “Is that really necessary?”

The female doctor nodded. “The medication she’s on sometimes makes her weak and drowsy. It’s just to be on the safe side.”

Warren nodded in understanding. Fred left the room in search for a wheelchair, and he walked over to Drusilla. “I, uh, figured you’d like the idea of leaving the room.” She just smiled, a dreamy expression on her face, and he all but bounced with excitement. Fred returned a moment later, and he hurried to help Drusilla over to the wheelchair.

Rolling her out of the room and through the long corridor, he finally reached the large glass doors, leading out to the garden. Opening one of the doors and carefully pushing the wheelchair outside, he looked at Drusilla in expectation. “Isn’t this great? Looks like we’ve got the whole place to ourselves.”

“Wonderful.” She rose from the chair, taking a few steps before turning to look at him over her shoulder. “We must hurry, puppy. There is not much time.”

“Okay,” Warren agreed, looking around him for a moment. “There are some benches over there, we could...”

She interrupted him. “You have some sort of vehicle here, yes?”

“Um...” He gave her a look of confusion, not understanding where she was going with this. “Sure, a black van. A real beauty. Paid for it all by myself.”

“Excellent.” She took hold of his hand, her fingers cold against his skin. “You are taking me for a ride. Won’t that be nice?”

“A ride?” Warren stared at her in disbelief. “You’re kidding, right? I can’t do that. Fred would kill me! Not to mention...”

“But I would be ever so grateful...” Drusilla ran her fingers down his cheek, pouting a little. “Just the two of us, and the stars.” A pause. “You will get your reward.”

“Really?” Warren swallowed. “I don’t know... It’s probably not a good idea.”

Drusilla’s eyes darkened, but Warren didn’t notice. “Very well. You do this for me, and I will do whatever you want in return.”

His eyes widened when he considered the possibilities. Surely they could go for a little ride around the block and be back again within half an hour. If it meant that much to her, who was he to refuse? He took a deep breath, and nodded. “Okay, you’re on. Where do you wanna go?” She clapped her hands together and let out a squeal. Then she pressed a kiss to his cheek, and his hand immediately went up to touch the spot where her lips had been.

“I know just the place.” She let out an excited giggle. “A nice little town, called Sunnydale.”


TBC

26


Going back to the motel – where he would be spending the rest of the night alone in the small room while knowing Buffy and Billy were back in Sunnydale, waiting for him to come back home – was the last thing Spike felt like doing. But he had to go back to the hospital in the morning, and although he sure didn’t look forward to another confrontation with Dru, he didn’t see any other option.

After leaving the hospital, he had just been driving around for a while, realizing he needed to take some time to calm down and clear his thoughts before calling Buffy again. However, he still felt like punching something. That, or getting pissed. Or possibly both. Instead, he pulled out his cell phone and quickly dialed his home number. What he really wanted to do was just get back into the car and drive straight home.

”Spike?” Buffy picked up almost immediately, like she had been sitting by the phone, just waiting for him to call back.

Spike felt a lump in his throat at the sound of her voice, wishing he could just take her in his arms and hold her forever. He took a deep breath, praying his voice would hold. “Yeah, s’me, pet. You and Billy all right?”

He could hear her inhale as well, somewhat shakily. ”Yeah, we’re fine. Missing you, though.” A pause. ”So, how did it go?”

Hesitating for a moment, Spike then rolled his eyes. “Could’ve gone better, that’s for sure. Going back tomorrow, maybe she’ll be a bit more cooperative.” He tried to sound positive, but it was hard.

The disappointment in Buffy’s voice was impossible to miss. ”She didn’t sign the papers?”

“She will.” Spike did his best to sound assuring. “If not, I’ll get back to my lawyer and have him sort it out for me. Either way, it’ll happen. Trust me, sweetheart; I’ll be a free man before you know it.”

“Sure about that?” He could almost hear her smile. “Cause from now on, I plan to hold on to you pretty tight. In fact, once you get back, I might never let you go again.”

“That a promise, luv? Gonna hold you to it.” Her soft giggle made him feel all warm inside. God, how he missed her. In fact, hearing her voice and not being able to touch her was torture. Still, having no contact with her at all while he was away would have been even worse.

“Good.” Buffy was quiet for a moment. ”Hey, wanna talk to Billy?”

“Sure.” Spike heard her call out Billy’s name, and smirked. “Here’s a thought. If I call you back after he’s gone to bed, we could...”

She cut him off. ”Don’t even think about finishing that sentence, mister!” There was a hint of amusement in Buffy’s voice, although she clearly tried to stay serious. “I’m not gonna have phone sex with you while Billy’s asleep upstairs, so just forget it.”

“Oh, come on!” He pouted, although he knew she wouldn’t be able to see. “I’ve had a long, hard day. Need something to cheer me up.”

”Yeah? Makes two of us.” She suddenly sounded sad again. ”Here’s Billy. Night, honey. Talk to you again tomorrow.” And she was gone.


*~*~*

“This is a bad, bad idea.” Warren glanced at the woman sitting next to him in the car before turning his attention back to the road. “You realize that, right? Fred trusted me to have you back by now. She’s gonna kill me! Unless Dr. Williamson gets to me first. Man, either way I’m toast!” He slammed his hand down on the steering wheel in frustration.

“Quit whining.” Drusilla gave him a warning look. “You asked how you could help me.”

“Yeah, but...” He hesitated. “This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, all right? I thought maybe you just needed someone to talk to, or... or...”

“You only wanted to sleep with me,” Drusilla interrupted him in a cold voice. “Be a good puppy and help me get my baby back, and we might both get what we want.”

Warren swallowed, knowing that was something he had been fantasizing about ever since he first laid eyes on her. Of course, he had doubted he would ever get the opportunity. And in all honesty, deep down, he knew it wasn’t very likely to happen. Still, he couldn’t help but get his hopes up. Maybe, just maybe...

A sudden thought occurred to him. “Hey, shouldn’t you be taking your medication tonight?”

She giggled, leaning her head against the window. “Do you see the stars? The sky’s full of them. They are beautiful.”

The sun had yet to set. Warren cast a brief look at her, not wanting to admit that she was starting to make him a little uncomfortable with her obvious obsession with the stars. “I’m serious. What if...?”

“Don’t worry, puppy.” Drusilla patted his knee, although the gesture was not so much calming as it was patronizing. “I no longer need their pills. I was lost for so long, but now, my eyes are clear. I know what I need to do.”

Warren was beginning to doubt, but he wisely kept his opinion to himself. Instead he let out a sigh. “Whatever you say.” He kept driving in silence.


*~*~*

“You look sad,” Billy stated. After finishing the brief conversation he had just had with his father, he turned his attention to Buffy, watching her for a moment before he went on, somewhat suspiciously; “What did Dad say to you?”

“Oh, you know...” Buffy forced a smile. “Just that he missed me. Missed us,” she hurried to add. “And that he’s hopefully coming home, soon. That’s about it.” She decided it wise to leave out the phone sex part of their conversation.

Billy didn’t look totally convinced, but clearly decided to let it go. Instead he nodded. “Right.” He turned on the TV, and his face brightened. “The Terminator! Cool!”

“Wait a minute...” Buffy’s eyes narrowed and she reached for the remote. “This movie’s kinda violent.”

The boy waved his hand in dismissal. “My dad lets me watch these kinda things all the time.”

“Really?” The way he wouldn’t meet her eyes made Buffy seriously doubt his words, and she sighed. “Billy, remember that talk we had the other day about lying? When the real wolf came...”

“All right, all right! Jeez...” He rolled his eyes and quickly changed the channel as Buffy tried to hide her amusement. At least things never got boring when Billy was around.

“We can always watch some other movie if you want,” she suggested, hoping he would accept. Watching a movie might take her mind off Spike, at least for a little while, anyway.

Billy considered her suggestion for a moment, then gave her a hopeful look. “Can we have popcorn? Or ice-cream?”

Buffy started to object, then stopped herself, hesitating. She got the feeling Spike might not appreciate her feeding his son first pizza and then ice-cream on a school night. Not to mention the fact that it would probably take her half the night to get the boy to sleep after all that junk food. Then again, didn’t this count as special circumstances? God knew she felt a craving for some sugar as well.

So, she nodded in agreement. “Absolutely. Chocolaty goodness coming up. Pick a movie?”

“All right!” Billy jumped up from the couch, heading for the large cabinet where Spike kept all their DVD’s. He picked one and put it into the DVD player while Buffy went to the kitchen to get their snacks. She had yet to return when the phone rang. “Got it!” he called out and reached for the phone on the table.

“Hello?” He waited for some response, but there was only silence on the other end. Frowning, he tried again; “Hello? Anyone there? Dad?” Still nothing. He hung up with a shrug, just as Buffy appeared in the doorway.

“Who was it?” She was carrying a small tray with two bowls of ice-cream, and put it down on the table.

“Dunno. Wrong number.” Billy eyed the bowls with interest. “Is that hot fudge?”

“And sprinkles.” Buffy smiled. “Better not tell your dad I let you eat all this,” she half joked. He shook his head in agreement. She hesitated a little before she went on; “You know, after this movie’s over, it’s time for you to go to bed.”

He glanced at her, and for a moment, she thought he was going to object. But he just shrugged and turned his focus back to his ice-cream. “Okay.” Buffy was very pleased, until he continued; “Cool. Don’t have to do my homework.”

“Wait, what?” Buffy’s smile faltered and her eyes widened in alarm. “You have homework?” He nodded, and she suppressed the urge to groan, realizing it hadn’t even crossed her mind to ask. Great! Maybe she could still get the ‘babysitter-of-the-year’ award.


*~*~*


“Well?” Warren gave her a questioning look as she hung up the phone and handed it back to him, a pleased expression on her face.

Drusilla leaned back into the passenger seat, smiling widely. “My little boy’s home. It won’t be long, now.”

“So, what are you gonna do once we get there?” He was almost afraid to ask. “Seriously, even if your husband’s such a jerk as you say he is, you don’t really think he’d leave the kid all alone, do you? Surely, you can’t just wander in there and take him.”

“Oh, I’m not worried.” She leaned forward, eagerly looking out the window. “Soon. I can feel it. Before the night is over, I will have taken back what rightfully belongs to me.” A pause. “And here is what I need you to do...”


TBC

27


“Dr. Burkle, are you out of your mind?!” Dr. Williamson stared at his female colleague in outrage. “Are you telling me you let Drusilla – who happens to be my patient – out in to the garden, unsupervised?”

Fred cringed at the furious look on the older doctor’s face. “I told you, Dr. Williamson, she was not alone. She was with...”

“Oh, I forgot!” The sarcasm in his voice was not lost on her. “That boy – Mears – went along. Well, that changes everything!”

“He knows her.” Fred swallowed, suddenly feeling incredibly stupid. “He told me they’ve been getting along so well, and...”

Dr. Williamson interrupted her. “You have been working here, how long, Doctor? Six months?”

“Um...” Fred lowered her eyes. “Almost seven, now. Actually, I...”

He didn’t let her finish. “And before that?” She opened her mouth, but he went on; “I assume this is your first real job. Believe me when I say this, Doctor – I can have you fired for this. What the hell were you thinking?!”

“Drusilla is on heavy medication!” Fred gave him a pleading look. “I’m sorry, but I didn’t see any harm. I just...”

“You just let one of our most disturbed patients walk out of here, accompanied by only a young medical intern!” Dr. Williamson was fuming.

“Yes.” She looked down at her feet. Now she realized what a terrible mistake she had made. “But I’m telling you, Dr. Williamson, the drugs she was on should have made it impossible for her to walk, even more than a few steps by herself. She had to sit in a wheelchair, there’s no way...”

“I found these in Drusilla’s room, hidden under her mattress.” He held out a plastic cup, almost full of little white pills.

Fred’s eyes widened. “Are you saying Drusilla hasn’t been taking her medication?”

“It appears so.” Dr. Williamson ran his fingers through his hair, clearly agitated. “And now she’s gone.”

“Maybe she went to see her husband.” Fred got a hopeful expression on her face. “He was here earlier; I think he’s staying in town.”

The man frowned. “Mr Pratt was here? And why wasn’t I informed?” He let out a deep sigh. “Dr. Burkle, this conversation is far from over. But right now, our priorities are to find Drusilla before someone gets hurt. I’m going to contact her husband. You...” A pause. “Keep trying to get hold of Warren Mears. When I get my hands on him, he’s going to wish he’d never set foot in this hospital!”


*~*~*

After double checking to make sure Billy was really asleep, Buffy wandered around the house for a while, unsure of what to do. She wasn’t tired yet, and she didn’t feel like watching TV. As she found herself stopping just outside the bathroom, an idea occurred to her and she stepped inside, locking the door behind her.

A smile spread on her face at the sight of the bathtub; a long, nice bubble bath was just the thing she needed right now. She immediately started filling the tub, only to pout when she realized that Spike obviously didn’t own anything remotely close to the girly, sweet scented bath oils she usually liked to put in her bath at home.

Rummaging through the bathroom cabinet in search for something she could use instead, her frown turned into a wide grin as she found numerous bottles of expensive after shave, different kinds of shampoo for bleached hair, and large amounts of hair gel. Unable to resist the temptation, she quickly opened one of the bottles and sniffed at the contents.

The sweet, yet masculine smell made her think of Spike, and she let out a longing sigh, wishing again that he was home. After a brief moment’s hesitation, she took the bottle with her and stepped into the tub. Leaning back and closing her eyes, she sniffed at the bottle again.

Hesitating only for a second, she then brought her hand down between her legs. Suddenly she could hear Spike’s voice in her head, suggesting he would call her back as soon as Billy had gone to bed. She had laughed it off as a joke at the time, but now, she couldn’t help but find the idea most appealing.

Maybe she could just call him? She started to get up, then remembered that she had left the cordless phone downstairs, and let out a frustrated groan. It looked like she was on her own, then. Oh well, she could manage. Grumbling a little, just for the sake of it, she then started rubbing her clit.

Suddenly, she thought she heard the phone ringing downstairs, and her eyes snapped open. Could it be Spike, calling her after all? She bit her lip, wondering what to do. If she ran downstairs now, she would drip all over the house. And if she would grab a towel and dry herself off first, Spike – or whoever it was – would most likely hang up before she managed to reach the phone.

With a regretful sigh, she decided to stay where she was; finishing her bath and then go check who the caller was. If it turned out to be Spike, she could always call him back. With her mind made up, she lay back down, once again relaxing into the pleasant feeling of hot water against her skin.


*~*~*

“I’m sorry – what?!” Spike shook his head as if to clear it, certain that he couldn’t have heard the doctor correctly. He took a deep breath, trying to force himself to stay calm. “What the bleedin’ hell is this, some sort of a bad joke?”

”I’m afraid not, Mr Pratt. We have people out there searching for them as we speak, but unfortunately, we have no idea in which direction they went.” Dr. Williamson paused for a moment. ”I was hoping you might have some idea.”

“Me? You bloody serious?!” Clenching his fist in frustration, Spike started pacing the room. “Thought you were supposed to keep your patients under strict supervision? She what? Just walked out the soddin’ door?”

”Yes, although it looks like she’s had some help.” Dr. Williamson sighed. ”I’m sorry, Mr Pratt, but we need you to come over here as soon as possible.”

“Bloody hell!” Spike rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’m on my way.” Hanging up before the doctor got the chance to say anything more, he quickly dialed the number home. When no one picked up, he tried Buffy’s cell phone, only to get her voice mail. Throwing the phone away from him in frustration, he grabbed his leather duster and car keys, and headed for the door.

Ten minutes later, Spike barged through the doors into the hospital, immediately walking up to the information counter. He recognized the pretty, although very irritating brunette – Cordelia – from his last visit, and suppressed the urge to groan. Luckily, an older man came hurrying through the corridor, calling out his name. “Mr Pratt?”

Spike raised a brow. “Dr. Williamson, I take it?” The other man nodded in confirmation. “Right. Found her yet?”

“No.” The doctor shook his head. “Listen, Mr Pratt, I was just told you came here to see her earlier today. But according to the papers, you never signed in as a visitor. May I ask who showed you to your wife’s room? Was it Dr. Burkle?”

“Dunno. Maybe.” Spike shrugged. “Didn’t catch the bloke’s name. Just said he was a doctor.”

“He? You must be mistaken.” Dr. Williamson got a confused look on his face. “I’m the only male doctor who’s been working here this afternoon. And I...” He stopped. “This man you were talking to. Was he in his early twenties? Tall? Dark hair?”

“Sounds about it.” Spike nodded.

Dr. Williamson closed his eyes for a moment, then nodded in understanding. “That’s Warren Mears. He’s the medical intern who we believe is responsible for your wife’s departure.” He paused. “Mr Pratt, can you think of any reason why Drusilla would want to leave this hospital? Did she say anything to you, indicating she wanted to go some place? Anyone in particular she wanted to see?”

“I don’t...” Spike hesitated for a moment. “Well, she went on about how she wanted to see our son. But he’s not here in town. She wouldn’t possibly know where to find him. Other than that, I can’t think of...”

“Excuse me, sir? I couldn’t help but overhear...” A timid voice piped up behind them, and Spike turned around with a frown. Fred went on, a little awkwardly; “Your son doesn’t happen to be in Sunnydale by any chance, does he?”

Spike stared at her, a somewhat alarmed expression on his face. “How’d you know? Who the bloody hell are you?”

“I’m Dr. Winnifred Burkle, but you can call me Fred.” She lowered her eyes, shyly. “As for how I know about your son...” Fred let out a nervous giggle. “It’s a long story, actually...”

“Dr. Burkle!” Dr. Williamson interrupted her, an impatient note in his voice. “Get to the point.”

“Right, sorry!” Fred nodded eagerly, turning back to Spike. “Well, I have reason to believe Warren may have found a way to hack into our computer system. He was caught by Dr. Walsh the other day, coming out from one of our offices. It didn’t occur to me at the time, but I just found this in Drusilla’s room.” She pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to Spike.

He quickly skimmed through the paper, his eyes widening in alarm when the pieces were starting to fall into place. Somehow, Drusilla had managed to get her hands on his home address, and the fact that she was now missing was no coincidence. His heart started beating faster and the paper dropped to the floor. Drusilla was on her way to Sunnydale.


TBC

28


Buffy couldn’t help but giggle when she checked the phone and realized it had been Spike who called when she was in the bathtub, just like she had suspected. He really was predictable. Quickly dialing his number, she smiled as she waited for him to pick up.

However, her smile faded and turned into a pout when it didn’t happen. Was it possible that he had already gone to bed? But if that was the case, surely the ringing of the phone would wake him up, especially since he should expect her to call him back. Suddenly, she got the strangest feeling that something was seriously wrong. Although she quickly dismissed the thought, telling herself she was being ridiculous.

Lost in her thoughts, Buffy let out a startled shriek when there was a sudden knock on the door. She frowned, wondering who could possibly be coming at this hour. After all, it was almost midnight. Her heart was starting to beat faster. She had seen enough horror movies to know that nothing good would ever come from opening the door this late at night.

Maybe there had been an accident. Oh God, what if something had happened to Spike? Horrifying images started playing up in her mind. But when the door bell rang a moment later, she snapped out of it and rushed to open the door before Billy would wake up. A young man she had never seen before was standing in front of her, a polite smile on his face.

He must have seen the confusion on her face, because he immediately spoke up; “Hi, sorry to bother you.” Letting out a nervous laugh, he went on; “It’s just that my car broke down, and I wonder if I could just come in and borrow your phone?”

“Um...” Buffy hesitated, looking over his shoulder and spotting a large, black van, parked on the street outside. The uneasy feeling was back. Didn’t everybody have cell phones these days? She forced a smile. “No offense, but it’s really late and I have a kid who’s asleep upstairs. Besides, I doubt you’ll find a mechanic who’s working this late.”

“Oh, I know.” The man paused for a moment, and he suddenly seemed at a loss for what to do next. Casting a look over his shoulder, he then turned back to Buffy. “I was just gonna call my dad and ask him to come pick us up. My girlfriend’s waiting in the car.”

“I see.” Buffy sighed. “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but...” She was cut off as the side door of the van opened and a dark-haired woman stepped out. There was something about her that seemed a bit off, but Buffy couldn’t quite put her finger on it at first. Then it hit her. She was wearing a jacket that looked to be about three sizes too large, and something that looked like a white nightgown. Also, she was barefoot.

Buffy’s eyes widened in alarm as the woman walked up on the porch, coming to stop next to the man. “Wait a minute... What’s going on?”

The man ignored Buffy and turned to the other woman. “Um, Drusilla, I thought you were supposed to wait in the car.” He glanced at Buffy, somewhat nervously.

It took a moment for his words to sink in, mostly because Buffy refused to believe it at first. Then she stared at the woman in shock as realization was finally starting to hit her. “Did he just call you...?”

The woman – Drusilla – gave the man a look of disapproval, then turned to watch Buffy with interest. “I got tired of waiting.” She tilted her head to the side. “Such a pretty girl. Don’t you agree, puppy?”

Warren swallowed. “Sure.”

“You’re Billy’s mother?” Buffy felt like her head was spinning. “But you’re supposed to be...” Her voice trailed off as a thought occurred to her. “Does Spike know you’re here? Where is he?”

“How would I know?” A cold smile was starting to spread on Drusilla’s face. “Aren’t you going to invite us in?”

Buffy stared at her in disbelief, then let out a snort. “Okay, I’m gonna list the reasons that’s not gonna happen. One...” She grabbed the door handle in a tight grip, intending to close the door in Drusilla’s face, but the man reacted fast and slipped his foot in between, making it impossible for her to close. Before her mind had registered what was happening, he grabbed her by the arm and pushed her inside.

“What the hell are you’re doing, you freak?! Let go of me!” At this moment, Buffy was more angry than afraid. “Get out of here, both of you, or I’ll call the cops! You can’t just barge in like this...”

“Be quiet, or he will hurt you.” Drusilla gave Buffy a warning look as she stepped through the door, closing it quietly behind her. “I have no interest in you. I’m here for my boy.”

“What?” Buffy shook her head in exasperation. “You’re crazy, you know that? Seriously, if you don’t leave right now, I will call...”

“You will do no such thing.” Drusilla then let out a pleased squeal as Warren quickly stepped behind Buffy, picked up the cordless phone from the table and let it slip down in the pocket of his jacket. She giggled madly, clapping her hands together.

“Want me to lock her up somewhere?” Warren looked around the room, his eyes landing on the closet next to the front door. “Keep her from intervening while you get the boy.”

“Oh, don’t even think about it!” Buffy glared at him, furiously. Then she looked at Drusilla. “You’re not getting anywhere near Billy, or I swear to God...” She gasped in pain and shock as Warren slapped her right across the face.

“Just shut up, bitch, or I’ll gag you!” He let out an annoyed sigh. “Get the kid, Dru. Really wanna get out of here.”

“Yes.” Drusilla’s face lit up, and her eyes darted around the room. She gave Buffy an expectant look. “Where is my son?”

Finding herself trapped in the corner, Buffy was starting to panic. This woman might be crazy, but Buffy didn’t for a moment doubt that she was serious. She had come here to get Billy, and it was obvious that she wouldn’t willingly leave without him.

It was all starting to make sense to her now, although the realization made her skin crawl. Drusilla had found out where Billy was, and more importantly, she had somehow managed to leave the hospital. With a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, Buffy realized that she was the only one standing between the boy and this disturbed woman, who happened to be his mother.

She didn’t even wanna think about what would happen to Billy if Drusilla managed to get her hands on him. Remembering all too well what Spike had told her about his wife and how she had hurt Billy in the past, not to mention the fact that Billy was clearly terrified of her, almost made her weep in despair. Right now, the situation seemed hopeless.

Buffy swallowed, hard. “He’s not here,” she lied. “He’s spending the night at a friend’s house.”

Drusilla’s eyes narrowed, but before she got the chance to say anything, Warren spoke up; “The bitch is lying. Kid’s upstairs sleeping. She said so when I first got here.” Buffy silently cursed herself for her stupidity.

“Is that right?” Drusilla looked pleased. Then her eyes turned cold as ice. “Watch her.” She started for the stairs.

“Billy!” Buffy shouted the boy’s name at the top of her lungs, praying that he would hear. “Lock your door and don’t...!” She was cut off as Warren clapped his hand over her mouth.

“Thought I told you to shut up!” He glared at her as Drusilla disappeared up the stairs. “She’s gonna get her son, and then we’ll be out of here. Don’t make it any harder than it has to be.”


*~*~*

Ignoring all speed limits, Spike stepped on the gas, one single thought in mind. He had to get back to Sunnydale. If Drusilla would hurt Billy again, he would never forgive himself. He cursed loudly when he realized he had left his cell phone back at the motel – now he had no way of contacting Buffy and warn her about the danger.

Speaking of Buffy, Spike was afraid for her as well. There was no way of knowing what Dru might do to her, considering how Buffy would be the one thing standing in her way. Maybe he should just stop somewhere and find a phone. But then he would lose precious time, and right now, time was a luxury he couldn’t afford.

Then again, if he would call the police, there was a chance they might get to his house in time to stop Drusilla. Quickly going through his options, he then made up his mind. He would stop at the next open diner or gas station, make the call and pray it wouldn’t be too late.


*~*~*

Leaving the spot on top of the stairs where he had been hiding for the last couple of minutes, watching the two intruders – one of them being the one person he feared more than anything – in horror, Billy quickly rushed back into his room before his mother would see him.

He had woken up at the sound of the door bell, quietly leaving his bed to see what was happening. When he had first spotted his mother downstairs, he had almost been convinced that it was just a bad dream. Surely, she wasn’t really here. But when Buffy called out for him, he quickly decided that he wasn’t willing to take the chance to stay and find out.

Now he locked his door, his heart beating wildly in his chest, and ran over to the window. If he could get out that way, he might be able to get some help. His dad was not home, and it was clear to him that the man downstairs wouldn’t allow Buffy to help him. Right now, he was on his own.


TBC

29


“You know, I’m not a bad guy, really. I don’t wanna hurt you.” Warren gave Buffy a warning look. “So don’t make me.”

Buffy scoffed. The fear had passed for the moment, at least for herself. She was still terrified of what Drusilla was planning to do to Billy. And here she was with this stranger, watching her every move, making it impossible for her to get past him, and she had to force herself to think rationally.

The idea of trying to take him off guard, kicking him hard in the groin and then run, hoping to be able to get upstairs before he recovered had occurred to her. But there was always the possibility she would fail, and she figured that pissing the guy off would neither help her situation, nor Billy’s. She would be no help to the boy, whatsoever, if this man would be angry enough to knock her unconscious.

And she didn’t for a moment doubt he had it in him, despite his words about not being a bad guy. No, considering how he had already slapped her, he would most likely not hesitate to use a lot more force the next time. So, she needed to think. Unfortunately, time was not on her side.

She could only pray that Billy had heard her warning and managed to lock the door before Drusilla got to him. Realizing that either way, he had to be absolutely terrified by now, and she held back a sob. However, breaking down now was not an option. Right now, she had to come up with a way to help Billy before it was too late.

Now she glanced at the dark-haired man in front of her, wondering if she would somehow be able to get through to him. Of course, she knew it wasn’t very likely, but she decided to give it a try. After all, she didn’t exactly have anything to lose.

Taking a deep breath, she spoke up quietly, choosing her words carefully; “You haven’t really done anything wrong yet. I mean, sure, barging in here in the middle of the night – kinda bad, but if you leave now, I won’t tell anyone. Kidnapping, on the other hand... You could end up in jail. Is it really worth it?”

Warren looked a little startled. “What are you talking about? Drusilla’s the boy’s mother. She has every right to...” His voice trailed off as Buffy rolled her eyes.

“No, actually, she has no right at all.” Buffy gave him a hard look. “She’s sick. She’ll hurt him.”

For a moment, Warren got an uncertain expression on his face. Then he waved his hand in dismissal. “Kids need to learn how to show some respect. If he does, I bet she won’t lay a hand on him.”

Buffy stared at him in disbelief. “Are you for real? You actually believe in that bullshit?”

He was starting to look angry. “You better watch your mouth, little girl. Don’t wanna see me pissed off, trust me.”

She was about to come up with a sarcastic remark, but managed to stop herself. There was no sound coming from upstairs, and she had to fight back the urge to panic and just lash out at him. So she swallowed hard, deciding to change her tactics. “You know, you can still do the right thing here. Stop Drusilla, and you’ll be a hero. How’s that sound?” Her voice had taken an almost pleading note.

“A hero?” Warren got a thoughtful look on his face, but then he let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, right!” He was quiet for a moment, and when he finally spoke again, he seemed to be talking almost to himself; “I’m in deep shit, here. Need to get out of here, leave the country.” A pause. “Mexico! We could go to Mexico.” He started pacing the room, and Buffy held her breath.

“I don’t want anyone to get hurt,” Warren went on, stopping to look at her. “Just wanted to help her get her son back, okay? I wanna...” He hesitated. “I need to please her. Make her happy.”

For a brief moment, Buffy felt almost sorry for him. Pathetic as it may be, his adoration for Drusilla was obvious. Then she snapped out of it. “Listen to me. That boy...” She stopped, correcting herself; “Billy. His name is Billy. Did you know that? Did Drusilla even tell you?”

Warren seemed to be thinking, then shook his head. Buffy went on; “Billy’s not even eleven years old. There’s one thing he’s more afraid of than anything else in the whole world. You know what that is?” He remained silent, so she continued; “His mother.”

“I don’t believe that!” Warren let out a snort. “Dru loves him. She just wants them to be together.”

“Did she tell you that, or is it just your wishful thinking?” Buffy had to suppress the urge to scream in frustration. God, if only Spike was there! He would so kick this idiot’s ass. But it didn’t matter now, because Spike wasn’t there. He couldn’t help them. So, it was up to her. Luckily, the guy seemed less eager to hurt her now. Maybe there was still a chance to convince him to give up.

Buffy was just about to go on, pleading with him if necessary, when a loud, piercing scream sounded through the house. Reacting out of pure instinct, she made a move towards the stairs, but Warren was faster. Grabbing her by the arm, holding her in an iron grip, he forcefully pulled her with him up the stairs. And she was torn between relief, and horror of what she would find up there.


*~*~*

Billy quickly climbed through the window, only to hesitate on the other side. It sure was a long way down. He immediately realized that he wouldn’t be able to get down from there; his only option would be to get up on the roof and somehow manage to move over to the other side of the house, where he knew there would be a large maple tree, growing close to the facade.

He had climbed that tree many times since they moved here, to the top and down, but then on the other hand, it had all been for fun. Now, it was his only way to freedom. He had played with the idea of climbing up on the roof before, just for the excitement – and maybe because he knew his dad would be furious, should he ever find out, but this was different.

Then he heard the sound of the door knob turn, and his mother calling out for him. ”Billy? My sweet boy? Open the door for Mummy!”

“Crap!” he muttered to himself, knowing perfectly well that if his dad would hear him – or Buffy, for that matter – they would have him wash his mouth with soap. Not that it had bothered him before. For some reason, a part of him enjoyed pulling his father’s strings, curious to see how far he could get before his dad would snap. But deep down, he knew that no matter what he did, it wouldn’t change anything.

His dad might get mad at him from time to time, but he would never hurt him. Not like his mother. Billy could only assume that he would understand better when he got older, because right now, it didn’t make much sense to him. He knew that his mum was sick, his dad had told him as much, but he didn’t really understand the concept of it.

Standing on the window sill, he managed to haul himself up on the huge trellis attached to the facade, and from there, he had no problem getting up on the roof. But then he froze. It had started to rain, and the roofing tiles would without doubt be slippery. One hasty move, and he would most likely fall.

The question was, what would be the worst? Facing his mother, or risk breaking his neck. He wasn’t stupid, nor did he have a death wish. Then again, as most young boys, he fully believed himself to be in complete control. He could do this – get to the other side of the roof and climb down, and then call for help. And his dad and Buffy would be proud of him.

It really was unfair. His dad had promised that things would be different once they had moved here, and Billy had actually started to believe him. Of course, in all fairness to his father, he probably hadn’t seen this coming. Billy took a deep breath, and started crawling across the roof tiles, holding on for dear life.


*~*~*

“Billy? My sweet boy? Open the door for Mummy!” Drusilla tried to move the door handle, only to cry out in fury when she realized the door was locked. She tried the next door, giggling madly to herself as it swung open easily. Stepping inside, her eyes darted around the room.

She immediately realized that it had to be Spike’s bedroom. Her eyes landed on the large, king-size bed, and she felt an almost desperate need to take off her clothes and slip under the covers. Then she remembered that she wasn’t here because of Spike. No, her mission was to find her boy.

Leaving the room, somewhat reluctantly, she tried the locked door again. When she still was unsuccessful to get it to open, she let out a frustrated scream. She was so close now, she could feel it. She would get her baby, and Spike wouldn’t be able to stop her this time. That would teach him not to take what was rightfully hers.

“Drusilla? What’s wrong?!”

She spun around, finding herself staring into Warren’s worried eyes. Ignoring the blonde girl he was still holding tightly, she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. “Open the door! My baby’s in there! Open the door! Open it now!” She slammed her fists against his chest, her face a mixture of frustration and panic.

“All right, all right!” Warren let go of Buffy and threw himself at the closed door, managing to kick it in after a few attempts. Drusilla pushed her way past him.

Buffy followed the two intruders into Billy’s room, only to stop dead in her tracks when she spotted the open window. Her eyes widened when she realized that Billy was nowhere to be seen. As she heard the rain pouring outside, she swallowed hard. “Oh my God!”


TBC

30


As Drusilla rushed over to the window and peered outside, Warren took a hesitant step towards her. Buffy, on the other hand, remained frozen on the spot. Somehow, Billy had managed to climb out the window, probably hoping to escape from his mother that way. Although a part of her was relieved, another part was absolutely terrified.

However, at the moment, neither of the intruders were paying any attention to her, so she quickly snapped out of it and spun around, running out of the room and towards the stairs before they would be able to stop her. Remembering that Warren still had the phone, she thought of finding her cell phone and calling the police. But first, she needed to find Billy and make sure he was all right.

“Dru?” Warren put a hand on her shoulder. She spun around, a furious expression on her face, and he found himself taking a step back.

“The girl.” Drusilla’s eyes darted around the room before landing on Warren. She pointed towards the door. “Get her! Get both of them!”

Warren only hesitated for a moment before nodding. As he hurriedly left the room, his mind was still set on pleasing Drusilla, but at the same time, he was starting to realize the concept of their actions. Buffy’s words about kidnapping had struck him hard; he really didn’t want to go to jail.

Drusilla probably knew that she didn’t have anything to lose – they would just take her back to the hospital. But he on the other hand... Suddenly, he was starting to question whether or not this woman was really worth all of this. Deep down, Warren knew that she would never do anything for him. She had just been using him, right from the start.

Still, for some reason, she was like a drug to him. He was addicted to her, her mere presence making him high, and he wanted her, craved her. It both scared him and fascinated him at the same time, because he had no idea how far he was willing to go for her. But he had a feeling he was about to find out.


*~*~*

“Billy!” Casting a look over her shoulder to make sure she wasn’t being followed, Buffy ran outside, only to stop in the middle of the backyard. The boy was nowhere to be seen, and she swallowed hard, calling out for him again; “Billy! Where are you?!”

“Buffy! M’up here!” She looked up, her eyes widening in horror as she spotted Billy on top of the roof, slowly moving towards the other side. For a moment, her mind went completely blank, and she couldn’t think straight. If he would fall down from there...

Then she forced herself to take a deep breath and quickly looked around, praying that Spike would keep a ladder somewhere. When she failed to find one, she started running towards the other side of the house, where Billy was heading. As she spotted the large tree, right next to the gable of the house, she realized the boy was planning to climb down from there.

The question was, would he make it? She thought of climbing up herself, but she was shaking so hard right now, she was probably more likely to fall down than Billy. Never before had she felt so totally helpless. She was afraid to look; yet, she was unable to take her eyes away. “Please, be careful,” she whispered.

Suddenly she heard the sound of the back door slamming, and a moment later, she saw Warren coming towards her. She almost ran, then fury started welling up inside her, and she stayed put. He was panting when he finally reached her, his eyes hard. “Don’t even think about running again, you bitch!”

Only this time, he didn’t scare her. Partly because she was already sick with worry about Billy, but also, Buffy finally saw this man for the pathetic coward that he was. That was why, when he reached out to grab her, she didn’t back away. Instead, in one swift move, she raised her knee and kicked him in the balls, as hard as she could.

Warren never saw it coming. Crying out in pain, he dropped to his knees, curling up in a fetal position. Deciding that he was no longer any threat to her, Buffy turned her attention back to the roof. Then she paled at the sight that met her, unable to hold back a horrified gasp.

Drusilla was now up there as well. She was moving faster than Billy, clearly not bothering to be careful in her attempt to get to him. And she was getting closer and closer. She opened her mouth to cry out a warning to Billy, but stopped herself at the last moment, terrified of startling the boy in case he would lose his grip and fall down. That was when she heard the sound of approaching sirens.


*~*~*

Half way across the roof, Billy thought he heard something behind him. After a brief moment’s hesitation, he threw a glance over his shoulder. His eyes widened when he saw his mother, quickly making her way towards him. Desperate to get away from her, he started moving again. Still, he didn’t dare go any faster, afraid that he would slip and fall.

“Mummy’s coming, Billy.” Drusilla wavered dangerously, but refused to slow down. She let out a furious cry. “Wait! Don’t run away from me!”

Billy stopped, looking over his shoulder again. “Leave me alone!”

She went on, ignoring him; “We’ll be together again, darling. Like a family. Just wait, and you’ll see.”

He shook his head, his hands clasping at the roof tiles to keep his balance. “You can’t come back to us. Dad’s getting a divorce.” He paused. “Cause you’re sick.”

Drusilla’s face hardened. “Your father’s mind has been poisoned. So has yours.” A beat. “But it’s all right. I will make it all better.”

“Billy!” Buffy was calling out for him again. Billy cast a longing look at the ground. It was still raining, and his hands were starting to get cold. But he didn’t dare let go of the tiles. Somewhere in the distance, he thought he heard sirens. He turned his attention back to his mother, relieved to find that she seemed to have stopped, at least for the moment.

Although he feared that if he would keep moving, so would she. And then it would only be a matter of time before she managed to catch up on him. He wasn’t sure of what exactly she was planning to do when she got to him, but he decided that he didn’t want to find out.

He was also starting to get really tired. Tired, and afraid. Fighting back the tears, he tried to go through his options. Unfortunately, it didn’t take him long to come to the conclusion that it was either to keep moving, or remain where he was. He swallowed, his eyes never leaving his mother.

Drusilla’s eyes suddenly rose to the night sky. A strange smile appeared on her face. Then she let out a soft giggle and turned back to her son. “We won’t need your father, my sweet boy. My eyes are clear.”

Billy gave her a confused look, not understanding what she was talking about. Not that he really cared. His clothes were wet and he had started shivering. He just wanted to get down from the stupid roof. More than anything, he wished that his dad was back.

Watching him for a moment, Drusilla then took a step towards him. “Why are you crying, darling?”

He glared at her, angrily wiping at his eyes. “Cause I’m cold! I wanna get off this bloody roof! I want you to go away!”

“Yes...” She smiled again, a somewhat absent expression on her pale face. Then she took another step, and he found himself slowly backing away. However, she kept following. “We will go away together. Off this roof. Will that make you happy?”

Billy shook his head, stubbornly. “You go first.”

Although she was still smiling, her eyes were cold. Billy shuddered as she cocked her head to the side. “You are afraid.”

“Yeah.” He tried to hold back a sob. “I want my dad.”

Her eyes narrowed, and she clenched her fists in anger. “I told you; we will not need him!” Then she seemed to calm down a little, and that eerie smile was back. “Besides, by the time he gets here, we will be long gone.”

“Gone where?” Billy’s voice was trembling. He didn’t want his mother to see his fear, but it was hard not to let it show. “I’m not going anywhere with you! My dad’s gonna...”

Drusilla sounded annoyed when she interrupted him. “You’re not listening! He will not be here in time. I...” Her voice trailed off as she noticed the police car outside on the street, and saw Buffy running towards it. She let out a soft whimper. “No, no, no... It’s too early. The stars promised me...” She stopped, her eyes landing on Billy. “We must go, now. Hurry!”

When Billy just looked at her, she let out an impatient growl. “Get over here and take my hand! There is not much time left. We need to jump before they get up here.”

“Jump?” Forgetting to be on his guard, Billy stared at her in disbelief. “You want us to jump off the roof?!”

“It’s okay, sweetheart.” She sounded almost pleading now. “It will be over quickly.”

As she took another step towards him, Billy panicked. “Buffy!” he shouted, not daring to take his eyes away from his mother. “Help me!” Of course, he knew there was no way – even with the police down there – that Buffy, or anyone else for that matter, would be able to get up there in time.

He was vaguely aware of someone – probably one of the policemen – calling out to him to stay put, to not make any sudden movements until help arrived. Easy for them to say, he thought, bitterly. They weren’t the ones up here. No, by the look of it, he only had one chance to get out of this situation in one piece. Billy took a deep breath, and turned to his mother. “Mum, wait! Just stop there. I’m coming.”


TBC

31


Feeling like he had been driving for days instead of just a couple of hours, Spike crashed right through the familiar ‘Welcome to Sunnydale’ sign, beyond relieved of finally being back in Sunnydale. Instead of slowing down, he kept stepping on the gas, so hard he almost expected the pedal to break right through the floor.

The relief he had felt only a moment ago, quickly got replaced with fear. Fear of being too late. Finally spotting the house that was now his home – his and Billy’s – he pulled up on the driveway and stepped on the break, the car screeching to a halt and he jumped out, not bothering to turn off the engine.

He hadn’t missed the police car on the street, parked right outside the house, and although the fact that they had obviously made it here before him was a relief, he wasn’t about to relax until he had seen with his very own eyes that Billy and Buffy were safe.

It was still raining hard, puddles of muddy water covering the lawn, and the first thing he saw was a police officer, about to handcuff a dark-haired man who was sitting on the grass. Spike immediately recognized him as the man who had claimed to be a doctor at the hospital, back in LA. Of course, now he knew it had all been a lie.

Then he spotted a familiar face, standing in the middle of the backyard and facing away from him, and he nearly wept. “Buffy!” He rushed over to her, his eyes searching wildly for his son. “Where’s...?”

“Spike!” Buffy spun around at the sound of his voice, and threw herself in his arms, sobbing hard. “Thank God you’re back!”

Hugging her close, barely noticing that she was soaked from having been standing in the rain, Spike then pulled back a little as one of the policemen walked up to them, giving him a questioning look. “You live here, sir?”

Spike nodded, still looking around trying to find Billy. But all he saw was the other officer, rushing past them and heading towards the back door. “I’m the one who called you. Where’s my son?” He turned back to look at Buffy, his heart nearly stopping when he noticed the look of despair on her pale face. “Buffy? He all right? Did Dru...?” He hesitated, suddenly terrified of what her answer would be.

Buffy swallowed. Unable to speak, she just raised her arm and pointed up on the roof. At first, he didn’t understand. Then he spotted, not just one, but two dark figures on top of the roof, none of them moving for the moment. He paled, understanding finally starting to hit him, and he failed to hold back a gasp. “Bloody hell!”


*~*~*

“Don’t come any closer, okay? I’m coming.” Billy took a deep breath; not exactly sure of what he was trying to do, just desperate to keep the distance between them. For a moment, he was almost certain that he hadn’t heard her correctly – because surely, she couldn’t be serious about the two of them jumping off the roof. Right?

Of course, he wasn’t stupid enough to want to stick around and find out. The truth was, he had never been more scared before in his life. He tried to be brave, to come up with a plan that would get him out of this mess, but right now, it seemed rather impossible.

Billy realized that he needed to find a way to distract his mother somehow, so he would be able to reach the other side of the roof and start climbing down. Then he would be safe. Thinking fast, he glanced at Drusilla, who had been watching him in silence. “Where-where do you want us to jump? If you go there and wait for me...”

Drusilla interrupted him, letting out a cold laugh. “My sweet Billy... Do not attempt to deceive me. I know the truth.”

“And what’s that?” Billy figured that if he could get her to keep talking, maybe she wouldn’t pay as much attention to him. It was worth a shot.

“It’s simple.” Drusilla raised her hand, watching it with a somewhat absent look on her face. “You have no intention to obey me. Because the stars don’t speak to you.”

Billy frowned, wondering what she was talking about, but tried not to let his confusion show. Instead he hurried to object; “Yes, they do. They talk to me all the time.”

Suddenly she looked uncertain, like she wasn’t sure what to think. “Is that so? Really?”

“Yeah!” Billy nodded, eagerly. A moment ago, he thought he heard the sound of the back door slamming, and realized that someone had to be on their way upstairs. But he didn’t dare to wait for whoever it was. He just had to get as far away from his mother as possible, before she would catch him. Because he was starting to get the feeling that her plans for him wouldn’t just result in a broken arm this time.


*~*~*

“Billy! Hold on, I’m coming!” Spike rushed towards the house with one single thought in mind; to get to his son before Drusilla did. He didn’t know how Billy had managed to get up on the roof, not that he really cared at the moment. All that mattered was to get him down safely – the questions would have to wait until later.

Realizing that the roof had to be wet and slippery from the rain, which could make a single hasty move fatal, Spike ran over to the large maple tree and started climbing as fast as he could. He was in good shape after years of working out and lifting weights, and his physical strength combined with an extreme adrenaline rush made him reach the top in no time.

Hauling himself up on the roof, Spike’s eyes widened in shock at the sight that met him. It was obvious that none of them had spotted him yet. Drusilla was now standing dangerously close to the edge of the roof, reaching out her hand in a welcoming gesture. And Billy was slowly making his way over to her.


*~*~*

As he heard his father calling out for him, Billy’s eyes went wide, and it took him just about everything he had to keep from crying out in relief. Forcing himself to keep his focus on his mother – who was luckily lost in her own world and didn’t seem to react – he pushed any thoughts of his dad and the safety on the ground to the back of his mind.

Drusilla let out a soft giggle, suddenly sounding almost like an excited child. “What are they telling you?”

Frowning again, Billy then remembered his mother’s strange ramblings about the stars, and knew he had to play along, if only to win some time. He thought quickly. “Um, they’re telling me to do as you say.”

“Yes!” She seemed delighted, so he figured it had been the right thing to say. “That’s right. You must do as I say. We will be together forever, just you and me, like a family.”

Billy nodded, although her words made his skin crawl, and he just wanted to cry and beg her to leave him alone. “I-I want that, too.” His voice was trembling, but she didn’t seem to notice.

“I know you do.” Drusilla smiled that creepy smile again. “The stars never lie. Get over here.” She reached out her hand towards him. “We will do it together.”

“Okay...” Billy swallowed hard and slowly started crawling towards his mother. To say that he was scared would be a huge understatement. He was way past that state by now.

As if she had read his mind, Drusilla tilted her head to the side. “You’re still afraid.”

He shook his head in denial. “No, I’m not, s’just...” Billy hesitated. “A long way down.”

“It’s really not.” She sounded almost pleading. Or just very eager to convince him. “Look at all the stars.” Drusilla raised her eyes to the night sky, a dreamy expression on her face. “That is far away. But down there...” She cast a brief glance at the ground before turning her attention back upwards. “It will only take a moment. Then it will all be over. Believe me.” Once again, she was lost.

“All right. I’ll do it.” Every fibre in his body was screaming at him to act; to back away, scream for help, anything. But he remained where he was, paralyzed by fear. All he could think of was to make his mother think he would obey her. Because so far, that was the only thing that seemed to be working. The problem was, he didn’t think he could carry on much further.

That was when he felt a presence behind him, and he nearly jumped. Then he heard his father’s voice next to his ear; “Don’t move. I’ve got you.”

At that moment, Drusilla seemed to snap out of it and spun around. Her eyes darkened when she realized that she and Billy weren’t alone on the roof anymore. “No!” Her face twisted into an angry grimace. “You can’t take him away from me again! He is mine! We belong together!”

Spike snorted. “You belong in the soddin’ nut house, Dru. Only this time, I’ll make sure they’ll lock you up for good. And you’ll never get to see my son again. As far as I’m concerned, he has no mother.” He reached out a shaky hand towards Billy and pulled him up against him. Although the fear was starting to submit into fury, he struggled to stay calm. After all, they were still up on the roof.

“Billy, darling...” Drusilla’s shoulders slumped, and all anger seemed to instantly leave her body. Suddenly she just looked devastated. “You promised you would come with me. The stars...?” Her face was a mixture of doubt and uncertainty.

“Yeah, well... Guess what?” Billy cast one last look at his mother before turning his face away, clinging to his father. “I lied.”

Silence. Drusilla watched them for a moment, understanding finally dawning on her. Then, before either of them got the chance to react, she turned around and quickly took the final step towards the edge of the roof. Without making a single sound, she dived into the air without hesitation. And she was gone.


TBC

32


”Buffy?”

“In here.” Spike peeked into the room and found Buffy sitting on the floor, her back resting against the side of Billy’s bed and her head leaning back on the mattress. He raised a brow and she tried to smile, although it came out more like a grimace. “I didn’t wanna leave him,” she explained in a low voice.

Instead of answering, Spike slowly made his way over to the bed and slumped down on the floor next to Buffy. He glanced at Billy, who was lying quietly on his side under the covers. “He asleep?”

Casting a glance at the boy as well, Buffy nodded. “Not very deep, though.” She hesitated. “Wanna go downstairs?”

Spike shook his head. “Don’t wanna leave him, either.” She nodded in understanding. For a moment, they just sat there in silence.

Finally Buffy spoke up, quietly; “Are you okay?” He opened his mouth, but she cut him off, rolling her eyes; “Pretty stupid question, I know.” She watched him for a moment, then put her hand on top of his. “Wanna talk about what happened at the police station?”

Shrugging, Spike laced his fingers through hers, watching their entwined hands. “Not much to talk about. Asked me all these questions, and then told me to go home.”

“Is she...?” Buffy lowered her eyes to the floor, not sure how to ask the next question. “Drusilla, I mean. Is she...?”

He nodded, fully aware of what she was asking. “Dead even before the paramedics got here. Heard one of the cops say her neck was broken.”

“I’m sorry.” Spike looked at her. Buffy shrugged, blinking away tears. “She was your wife. And Billy’s...” For some reason, she couldn’t finish the sentence.

Spike cast a brief look at his son to make sure he was still asleep. Then he let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah. Some mum she turned out to be.” A pause. “Well, if he didn’t hate me before...”

“What?” Buffy interrupted him, an incredulous expression on her face. “What are you talking about? Billy doesn’t hate you. He loves you!”

“Promised myself I’d never let him get hurt again.” Spike looked away as he went on; “If Dru would’ve taken him, or if he’d slipped up there...” His voice cracked and he was unable to continue.

“Spike, please...” She gave his hand a squeeze. “It’s over. Billy’s fine. You saved him, remember?”

“Right.” He let out a miserable sigh. “Never should’ve left here in the first place. Then none of this would’ve happened.”

Buffy ran her hand softly up and down his arm. “Sweetie, you didn’t have much of a choice; you had to go. Not like you actually wanted to.”

“Damn right I didn’t.” Spike snorted. “Could’ve handled things better, though. Should’ve known she’d never sign those bloody papers. If I’d just let the lawyers deal with...”

“Don’t do this.” She gave him a pleading look, the sympathy written all over her face and her hand still caressing his arm, soothingly. “Spike, you can’t blame yourself for what happened. You couldn’t possibly have known Drusilla would lure that idiot into sneaking her out of the hospital and coming all the way here.”

She paused as a thought occurred to her. “By the way, what’s gonna happen to him? Please tell me they’ll lock him up for good! Jail or an institution, I really don’t care which. Just as long as they’ll keep him where he’ll never be able to hurt anyone again.”

“Good idea. Wouldn’t count on it.” Spike rolled his eyes. “Cops arrested him, but I doubt they’ve got enough on him to keep him very long. Bet he’ll be a free man again by morning.”

Buffy shook her head, angrily. “That’s crazy!”

“Bloody right it is.” Spike nodded in agreement. Then his shoulders slumped and he gave her an apologetic look. “How’re you holding up, luv? Never even asked. I’m sorry.”

“I’m fine.” She rested her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. Maybe ‘fine’ was a bit of an overstatement, considering how she still hadn’t been able to quite stop shaking, but she thought she was getting there. At least she felt a whole lot better now that Spike was back.

She realized a part of her had to still be in shock, and that it would probably take some time for her mind to fully take in everything that had happened. But right now, she didn’t want to think about it. Billy was safe, and Spike was back. They were together again, all three of them, and for the moment, that was all that mattered. Any deeper thoughts right now would probably drive her crazy.

“I love you.” She pulled back a little, giving him a surprised look. Her heart started beating faster when she saw the serious expression on his face. Spike stared her right in the eyes, although he suddenly looked more vulnerable than she had ever seen him before. “Just wanted you to know that.”

“I do,” Buffy hurried to assure him, knowing as soon as the words were out of her mouth that it was the truth. Smiling almost shyly, she quickly added; “I love you, too.” And she meant it, from the bottom of her heart. Never before had she felt such a strong connection to another person. It was all new to her. And suddenly, she wondered how she had ever survived this long without it.

Their lips met in a soft, tender kiss. Although they quickly pulled away from each other when Billy stirred on the bed. “Dad?”

Spike jumped up from the floor, carefully sitting down on the bed, next to his son. “Right here, buddy. Didn’t mean to wake you.”

Billy sat up, appearing to be slightly disoriented, and looked around. “Buffy still here?”

She got up as well, failing to hold back a yawn. “Yup. Think I’ll go to bed now, though. Feel like I haven’t slept for a year.” Of course, she was pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to go to sleep tonight, unless Spike would join her, but Billy didn’t need to hear that.

The boy gave her a strange look. “You gonna sleep in the bed? In Dad’s room?”

Buffy’s eyes widened in alarm and she cast a helpless look at Spike, who seemed to be just about as lost as her. “Um... Yeah?”

Billy looked from his father to Buffy, and she could almost see the wheels turning in his head as he was putting two and two together. “And where’s Dad gonna sleep?”

“He... I don’t... We...” Buffy stuttered, her face turning bright red. “He’s your son - you explain it to him!” she finally blurted out before rushing out of the room, beyond embarrassed.

Spike was quiet for a moment, watching Billy in silence. The realization how close he had come to losing his only son was starting to hit him, and suddenly, he just wanted to break down and cry. Instead he took a deep breath, forcing himself to stay strong.

Billy tilted his head to the side, a somewhat curious look on his face. “You and Buffy in love yet?”

Not able to stop himself, Spike let out a humorless chuckle. After everything that had happened, that was the first thing Billy wanted to know. Deciding to be honest, he nodded. “Yeah. We are. You okay with that?”

“M-hm.” Billy nodded as well. “You gonna get married? Are we moving in with Buffy, or is she...?”

“All right, hold it...” Spike raised his hand to stop him. “We’ll deal with that later, yeah? Right now, we need to talk about what happened here tonight.”

Billy’s face darkened as understanding hit him, and he lowered his eyes. “Is Mum dead now?”

Closing his eyes for a moment, Spike silently cursed the unfairness of it all. A ten-year-old boy shouldn’t have to go through any of this. And they sure as hell shouldn’t be forced to have this conversation. Still, lying wasn’t an option. “Yes.”

“That’s good.” Billy raised his head. “Then she won’t come back.” At a loss for how to respond to that, Spike just nodded, numbly. The boy went on; “Not going away again, are you?”

Swallowing hard, Spike shook his head. “Not going anywhere.” He didn’t miss the relieved look on Billy’s face, and got the sudden urge to leave the room and smash something. Mixed emotions were welling up inside him; relief, guilt, frustration, and he had no idea how to deal with it.

Oblivious to his father’s inner struggle, Billy continued, suddenly looking worried; “You mad at me?”

“What?” Spike snapped out of his troubled thoughts and stared at his son in disbelief. “”Why the bloody hell would I...?!” He stopped himself, rolling his eyes. “Why would I be mad at you? You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“I lied.” Billy looked down at his hands, clearly ashamed. “Mum wanted us to jump together. Said I’d do it. But I didn’t mean it.”

“Fuck!” Spike’s eyes widened in shock. Suddenly he felt like he was going to be sick, wondering how long it would take – if ever – for Billy to truly get over what happened up on the roof. Also, the boy’s reaction to it all was seriously starting to worry him. He didn’t seem eager to let any real feelings out any time soon, and Spike didn’t know what to do about it.

At the same time, he knew this was not something he could run away from, hoping it would all disappear. It was time for him to start acting like a father and actually listen to his son, whether Billy was actually interested in talking to him or not. No matter how difficult and awkward it would be.

“No, m’not mad at you. Course not.” Spike struggled furiously against the tears, determined not to start bawling in front of the boy. It was just so bloody hard. How was he supposed to explain to Billy that lying at that point had probably been the smartest thing he could do? He probably wouldn’t understand. Hell, he shouldn’t even have to understand.

“All right, look...” Spike hesitated for a moment. Billy remained silent, waiting patiently for him to go on, although he had to blink to keep his eyes open and it was obvious that he was exhausted. Spike couldn’t really blame him, being about to drop himself, and he could only imagine how Billy must be feeling.

Still, he didn’t want to wait until morning. For some reason, he felt an almost desperate need to finally clear the air between them, once and for all. And judging by the way Billy kept waiting expectantly, without objection, he felt the same way.


TBC

33


“I’m sorry.” Spike swallowed, looking down at his hands. Realizing how lame it came out, he nearly cringed. “Should’ve been here.”

Billy didn’t object, nor did he agree. It was obvious that he had other things on his mind. “So it’s okay to lie to bad people?”

“I...” Spike held back a sigh, not sure how to respond. “S’not that simple, all right?” Billy just stared at him. “Look, thing is, people are lying all the time. Mostly to protect themselves. Sometimes it’s necessary.”

The boy got a doubtful expression on his face. “But you’ve always said lying is bad. How do you know when it’s not?”

“Let me get this straight...” Spike gave his son a firm look. “Lying’s never a good thing. But sometimes, it might be better than telling the truth. Making up stories just for the sake of it is never okay. There’s always consequences. You’ll just have to decide when it’s worth it.”

Billy raised a brow. “So, if I think I can get away with it...?”

“Not okay!” Spike rolled his eyes. “Christ, I’m bad at this. Look, Billy, if you keep lying...”

“I know, I know.” Billy sighed. “Keep lying, and people won’t believe me when I’m telling the truth. Buffy told me ‘bout the wolf.”

“The what?” Spike was confused for a moment, before understanding was dawning on him. “Oh, right. Never liked that story.”

Billy shook his head in agreement. “Me neither. Bloody stupid.” Spike opened his mouth, but the boy quickly went on; “When Buffy was little, she told her mum the house was on fire.”

Spike failed to hold back a chuckle. “That right?”

“Uh-huh.” Billy nodded. “Buffy said her mum got really mad.” A pause. “But she didn’t hit her.”

Spike’s smile disappeared and his face darkened. “Yeah, well, Buffy’s mum was a good lady. She knew it was wrong to hurt other people.”

“Yeah.” Billy was quiet for a moment. “Know what else Buffy said?” Spike shook his head. “That something in Mum’s head made it so she couldn’t tell the difference between right and wrong.”

Closing his eyes briefly, Spike nodded. “That’s right. Your mum was sick. We’ve talked about this.”

“I know.” Billy bit his lip, thoughtfully. “Does that mean it wasn’t really her fault? What she did? ‘Cause she just couldn’t help it?”

“In a way, I s’pose.” Spike let out a sigh. “Bit more complicated, though. Doesn’t really matter if she could help it or not. What’s wrong’s still wrong. There are certain things you just can’t take back. What your mum did’s one of them. For a long time, I didn’t wanna believe it. Then I realized...” He stopped, wondering how he could explain something he didn’t quite understand himself.

“What?” Billy watched his father with curiosity and interest.

Sighing again, Spike went on; “Realized I was lying to myself, which is just as bad as lying to other people.” A beat. “Remember when you tried to tell me...” He hesitated. “...something ‘bout your mum. And I accused you of lying?”

Lowering his eyes in shame, Billy nodded. Spike continued; “You were right when you said I didn’t listen to you. Truth is, I didn’t want to listen. ‘Cause deep down, I knew you were telling the truth. And I was afraid to admit it.”

Billy glanced up at his father with wide eyes. “Why?”

Spike shrugged. “Dunno. Was a coward, I guess. Point is, I made a mistake.” Rolling his eyes, he corrected himself; “Done a lot of mistakes. And a lot of what happened could’ve been avoided if I’d just listened to you in the first place. You didn’t do anything wrong – I did. You understand?”

Shaking his head, Billy gave him a look of confusion. “Then why’d you get so mad at me?”

Images of Billy’s face – sobbing and pleading with him to listen, insisting he was telling the truth – flashed through Spike’s mind, and he felt a pang in his chest. More than anything, he wished he could just take his selfish words and actions back. Of course, he knew it was impossible. Like he had told the boy, there were things you just couldn’t take back, no matter how much you wanted to.

Now he wasn’t sure Billy would ever understand, but he still felt the need to at least try to explain. “Wasn’t really you I was mad at. I was mad at myself, and I took it out on you. It was wrong, and there are really no excuses for what I did. But...” He swallowed hard. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I love you, Billy. I’d never deliberately do anything to hurt you.”

“I know, s’okay.” Billy raised his head and their eyes met. Suddenly he looked a little uncertain. “Dad? Am I a bad person if I’m glad Mum’s gone?” Certain that his voice would fail him if he tried to speak; Spike could only shake his head. Billy tilted his head to the side. “Are you glad she’s gone?”

Inhaling shakily, Spike struggled to come up with an appropriate answer. Finally he sighed. “M’not happy she’s dead. But...” He hesitated, wondering how he could tell the boy that a part of him was actually a little relieved. In a way, he couldn’t help but feel sorry for Drusilla. Maybe it was really more about pity. But still, he had loved her once. He felt like he should be able to mourn her.

But the truth was, it was hard. Spike tried to recall the last time he and Drusilla had actually been happy together. He knew that he had been deeply in love with her, and he had always believed that his feelings had been mutual, at least from the beginning. Maybe he had been hoping that his love would be enough for both of them, that in time, she would come to realize what she had.

If it hadn’t been for Billy, it was most likely that he had kept putting his own feelings aside and stayed with Dru. Deep down, he knew that he deserved better. But instead of confronting her, he had just buried himself in his work, as if that would make the problems go away. The truth was, he had made it easy for Dru to betray him.

Even though a part of him would probably always blame himself, that was just it. Drusilla had betrayed him. And more importantly; she had hurt Billy, and not just physically. It had opened his eyes and forced him to see things for what they really were. And the truth wasn’t pretty.

He hadn’t exactly been lying to Billy – he wasn’t happy Drusilla was dead. But he wasn’t really sad, either. To tell the truth, all feelings for his wife had died the moment he realized what she was capable of. And it left him with a feeling of numbness inside. Even if he wanted to mourn her, to feel some kind of grief for losing the mother of his son, he didn’t think he could. Maybe some day, but not yet.

“Look, Billy, I understand how you feel. And it’s okay.” Spike paused. “Things are gonna get better now. I promise.”

“Yeah.” Billy nodded, slowly. Then he yawned. “M’tired.”

Spike nodded in understanding. “Try to get some sleep, then. I’ll just...” He hesitated. “Want me to stay here?”

“No, s’all right.” Billy slid back down under the covers. “You can go to Buffy now.”

“Um...” Spike cleared his throat. “Buffy’s probably asleep, why would I...?”

Billy rolled his eyes. “M’not stupid; I know she’s waiting for you to come, so you guys can kiss and stuff.” He made a face of disgust.

Staring at his son in disbelief, Spike didn’t know if he should be horrified or amused. “S’nothing wrong with kissing...” he finally muttered, somewhat defensively. Billy didn’t look convinced, although he didn’t say anything more. Instead he just curled up on his side and closed his eyes. A moment later, he was deep asleep.


*~*~*

“You awake, luv?” Spike slipped into the dark bedroom, closing the door behind him and slowly moving towards the bed. He cursed loudly when he stumbled on something and hit his toe on a chair. “Bloody stupid piece of crap!”

“Spike?” Buffy sat up with a start, reaching blindly for the light switch to the small table lamp on the nightstand. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, m’fine.” He quickly slipped under the covers and pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her hair. “God, I’ve missed this.”

“What, smelling my hair?” Buffy smiled a little, wrapping her arms around him. “I’ve missed you, too.” For a moment, neither of them said anything. Finally she spoke up again, quietly. “So, how’s Billy dealing with all of this?”

“Hard to say.” Spike let out a tired sigh. “Seems to be doing fine, but...” He hesitated. “After what happened, is that even possible? I mean, what he had to go through, I can’t even...”

“Spike...” Buffy interrupted him, a soft note in her voice. “Billy’s strong, just like you. He’ll be okay. Just give him some time. And maybe...” She bit her lip.

Seeing her hesitation, Spike raised a brow, his fingers playing softly with her hair. “What?”

Buffy raised her eyes to meet his. “Maybe he needs to talk to someone. Not just about what happened tonight, but all of it. Might be good for him.” Seeing the doubtful look on Spike’s face, she hurried to add; “You said so yourself; he’s been through a lot.”

“Yeah, but...” Spike suddenly looked uncertain. “I’m his father; I should be able to help him.”

“And you will, honey.” Buffy brushed her lips gently against his cheek. “We’ll both be there for him. But sometimes it helps to talk to someone else as well.” She lowered her eyes. “Never told you this, but I went to see a therapist a couple of times after my mom died. She really helped me see things from a whole new perspective.”

Spike nodded in understanding, although he still seemed a bit skeptical. “See your point. I’ll think about it.” He paused. “Really think it would help him?” Buffy nodded. “All right, then. I’ll look into it.”

Buffy was quiet for a moment, just enjoying the feeling of finally being back in Spike’s arms. Then she glanced at him. “What about you? Are you gonna be okay? Do you wanna talk about it, or...?”

“Yeah, but not right now.” Spike ran his fingers gently down her cheek. “Not trying to push you away, pet, I know there’s a lot to talk about. But can it wait?” He silently begged her to understand. “Right now, I just wanna be with you. Pretend that everything’s okay. Just for a little while.”

She nodded in agreement. To tell the truth, she wasn’t really in a mood for any deeper conversations at the moment, either. “Fine by me. But...” She looked him right in the eyes as she went on; “It’s over now. It’s gonna take some time, but we will get past this. All of us. Together.”

He felt relief welling up inside him, touched by her words. “Yeah. Absolutely.” Their lips met in a soft, tender kiss.

They were both exhausted, but as the kissing got more intense, they soon forgot all ideas about sleeping. In fact, it took several hours before they finally drifted off, him on top of her with his cock still buried deep inside her. And for a moment, both of them felt more peaceful than they had for a long time.


TBC

34


Buffy was standing by the kitchen counter, putting a huge pile of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches down into a large picnic basket. As she opened one of the cabinets in search for the plastic cups and paper plates she had bought at the supermarket earlier that day, the door opened with a crash and Billy stormed into the kitchen.

Almost two weeks had passed since the night when Billy had witnessed the death of his mother. For a while he had been quiet, almost withdrawn, and Buffy found herself having a hard time recognizing the once so lively and chatty boy. But – to her great relief – he seemed to slowly recover from his traumatic experience on the roof, finally being almost back to his old self.

Now he ran over to the counter, peeking down into the basket, and his eyes widened. “Wow! That’s a lot of food!” He opened the lid to a small, plastic container, grimacing when he saw what was inside. “Celery sticks? That’s gross.”

“That may be so.” Buffy took the container from him and put the lid back on. “But it’s good for you. Very healthy.” She paused. “There’s also strawberries, chocolate chip cookies, and potato chips.” Billy perked up at that. Moving some objects around in the basket, he immediately found what he was looking for, quickly reaching for a cookie when Buffy wasn’t looking.

In that moment, the door opened again and Spike stepped inside. “Ready to go, pet?” His eyes landed on Billy, who shoved the last piece of his cookie into his mouth. “Hey! Save some for the rest of us.” Billy reached into the basket again, pulled out the cookie jar and offered it to his father.

“Oh, no, you don’t!” Buffy spun around, grabbing the jar before Spike got the chance to take it. She gave them both a look of disapproval. “Those are for the picnic. And besides...” She crossed her arms over her chest, a firm look on her face. “No cookies before lunch.” She had to bite her lip to keep from giggling at the disappointed expression on Spike’s face.

Billy moved over to his father, whispering loudly; “She wants us to eat celery.”

“Does she now?” Spike cast a suspicious look at his girlfriend, his eyes narrowing. “That’s bloody disgusting!”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Seriously, you guys are hopeless! Spike, just carry the picnic basket out to the car so we can get out of here.”

“Right. Whatever you say, luv.” He picked up the basket, placing a soft kiss on Buffy’s cheek as he stepped past her.

“Wait!” Buffy rushed over to the fridge and came back with a large bottle. “Don’t forget the lemonade!” She smiled proudly as she handed it to him. “I’ve made it myself.”

“Really? Cool.” Spike managed to find some room for the bottle in the basket. “How much sugar did you take?”

Buffy frowned, a blank expression on her face. “Sugar?”

He opened his mouth, then closed it again, shaking his head. “Let’s just stop by at the gas station and pick up a couple of sodas, yeah?” Ignoring Buffy’s pout, he headed for the door.

As soon as his father was out of sight, Billy turned to Buffy. “Dad says we’re gonna move in here with you in a couple of weeks.”

Buffy smiled a little. “Yeah. You okay with that?” After Spike had returned from LA, it didn’t take long for her to decide that she didn’t want to be apart from him ever again. And since he obviously felt the same way, seeing how they had spent every night together after that, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world for him to sell his house and move in with her.

Of course, a part of her still had a hard time to take in the fact that her relationship with Spike had taken such a serious turn so soon. A few months ago, she had never even had a serious relationship. She’d had no idea what it was like to actually be in love. Now she knew. And she enjoyed every minute of it.

“Sure, that’s cool.” Billy nodded, somewhat absently. He was quiet for a moment, clearly having something on his mind. Finally he glanced at her. “Can we get a cat?”

“Um...” Buffy hesitated. She knew she shouldn’t be surprised, remembering Billy’s fondness for animals. The truth was, although she still mourned the loss of poor Princess Leia, the idea of some day having another pet in the house didn’t seem completely unacceptable anymore. “You’ll have to ask your dad.”

“Okay.” Billy shrugged, clearly deciding to let it go for now.

Spike chose that moment to re-enter the house. “Car’s loaded. Going to the zoo today, or what?”

“We’re on our way.” Buffy smiled. “This is gonna be great. I haven’t been to the zoo since I was a kid.” She picked up her purse, grabbed the blanket she had thrown on a chair and hurriedly left the house.

“Let’s go, then. Don’t wanna keep the elephants waiting.” Spike grabbed the car keys he had left on the table.

“Right!” Billy nodded, eagerly. As he headed for the door, he cast a look at his father over his shoulder. “Hey, Dad, guess what? Buffy says we’re getting a cat!”


*~*~*

Three hours later, Spike was bored to tears. He cast a pleading look at his son. “Let’s take a break, yeah? I’m bloody starving. The animals will still be here when we’re done.”

“Not yet.” Billy shook his head, firmly. “Wanna watch the ostriches first.”

“Oh, come on!” Spike rolled his eyes. “Bloody birds can’t even fly. What’s so special about ‘em?” He glanced at Buffy, who seemed to be amused by the whole thing. “Buffy...!” he complained, sulkily, hoping for some support.

She shrugged, an innocent look on her face. “I wanna watch them, too.”

He glanced from his girlfriend to Billy, realizing it was two against one, and let out a defeated sigh. “Fine... You two go. I’m staying right here.”

Buffy giggled as she turned to Billy. “Come on, Billy. Guess your dad’s too old to keep up with us.”

“Oi!” Spike glared at her, not the least bit amused.

“Aww, I’m sorry, honey!” Buffy tried to stay serious, failing miserably. “Didn’t mean to hurt your delicate feelings.” Seeing how he was about to come with some sarcastic remark, she quickly gave him a soft peck on the lips, letting out a squeal when he pulled her into his arms and deepened the kiss.

Watching them with wide eyes, Billy cast a discrete look around him, clearly worried that someone might walk by and see his father and Buffy making out in the middle of the park like a couple of love-sick teenagers. When it was obvious that they weren’t about to pull apart any time soon, he quickly decided that enough was enough. “I’ll just go watch the ostriches by myself.” He started walking away from them.

Spike started to object, but Buffy shook her head and waved her hand in dismissal. “He’ll be fine. The ostriches are just over there.” She pointed to a large cage, barely thirty feet away.

“All right, then. Let’s see... Where were we?” Spike curled his tongue behind his teeth, giving her a sexy grin. She smiled sweetly at him and wrapped her arms around his waist, closing her eyes as she leaned in for another kiss.

It didn’t take long before Billy was back, claiming the ostriches weren’t nearly as exciting as he had thought. Waiting patiently for Spike and Buffy to finally let go of each other, he gave them a hopeful look. “Can I have some ice-cream?”

Buffy opened her mouth, about to insist that he should at least wait until after they had eaten their sandwiches, but Spike beat her to it. “Sure, why not?” He pulled out his wallet from the pocket of his leather duster and handed Billy a couple of dollar bills. “Get some for us as well.” Billy ran off with a pleased look on his face. Spike frowned when he saw Buffy’s expression. “What?”

She shook her head in amusement. “You’re spoiling him.”

He seemed to be offended at that. “I most certainly do not! That’s bollocks...!” Then he lowered his eyes, a somewhat defensive note in his voice as he went on; “So what if I am? S’my bleedin’ right as his father, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, whatever.” Buffy rolled her eyes. A beat. “You do know he’s playing on your guilt, right?”

Spike let out a chuckle, suddenly looking a little embarrassed. “Yeah, I know.” He paused, his sheepish grin fading. “S’pose I’ve been a wee bit on the overcompensating side lately, eh?”

“Just a little.” Buffy smiled, softly. She paused. “Actually, I think it’s sweet.” He gave her a questioning look, so she clarified; “How Billy’s got you wrapped around his little finger. He’s a smart kid – he knows exactly what he’s doing.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Spike sighed. “You didn’t really promise him we’d get a soddin’ cat, did you?” Buffy clapped her hand over her mouth to keep from bursting out giggling, shaking her head. He grimaced. “Should’ve figured.”

“So...” Buffy turned serious as she changed the subject. “Billy’s got his first therapy session tomorrow, right?”

Spike nodded. “Talked to the counselor on the phone last night. Seems like a nice bird. S’posed to be real good with kids who’s been through some kind of trauma.”

“Sounds great.” She was quiet for a moment. “Things are finally looking up, aren’t they?”

“God, I hope so.” Spike hesitated a little. “Was just wondering, don’t have to get all upset. You ever had any doubts? ‘Bout us, I mean. With everything that’s happened, I can’t blame you for being a bit skittish.” He paused, gazing down at his feet. “I mean, the whole ‘crazy ex wife’ thing would be enough to scare most people off.”

He suddenly seemed almost overly self-conscious, and Buffy felt sympathy welling up inside her. She reached out to take his hand. “Sweetie, I’m not most people. Haven’t you figured that out by now? I love you and I love Billy. Meeting you guys is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t regret a thing.”

Spike raised his head, clearly relieved, and their eyes met. “Really?” Buffy nodded and he smirked, the confident look back on his face. “Good. ‘Cause I don’t plan to let you go any time soon.”

She smiled. “Same goes for me. You and Billy are stuck with me.”

He reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Well, that works out nicely, then.” Wrapping his arms around her, he hugged her close, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head, and Buffy let out a contented sigh as she happily melted into his embrace.


TBC

35


~epilogue – four months later~


“Hey, Dad, look!”

Looking up from the book he was reading, Spike’s eyes fell on the little black fur ball in Billy’s arms. He raised a brow and put the book down. “And who might this little fella be?”

Billy kept patting the kitten, lovingly. “This is Han Solo.”

“Excuse me?” Eyes widening in horror, Spike turned to Buffy who appeared in the doorway behind Billy. “No bleedin’ way!”

Buffy raised her hands in a defensive gesture. “Don’t look at me, wasn’t my idea. He’s the one who came up with the name.”

“Did not!” Billy protested, turning his attention away from the cat for a brief moment. “You’re the one who said...”

“All right, all right, fine!” Buffy let out a defeated sigh. “So it was my idea. Happy now?” Billy got a pleased look on his face as he slumped down on the couch, still cradling his new pet tenderly in his arms. She rolled her eyes. “You know, just this one time, you could’ve lied.”

The boy merely shrugged, not even looking up. “Lying’s bad.”

“Let’s get back to the, um...” Spike nodded towards the cat, a wary expression on his face. “You two better be joking, ‘cause there’s no way in hell I’ll ever be able to call him that with a straight face.”

“Oh, come on, honey!” Buffy pouted as she sat down next to Billy, reaching out to scratch the kitten gently behind the ear. “He’s adorable, and the name suits him perfectly. Besides...” She paused, unable to hold back a giggle. “...it was either that, or Jabba the Hutt.” Spike just stared at her, not even dignifying that with an answer.

“Gonna take him upstairs and show him where he’ll be sleeping tonight,” Billy stated eagerly, jumping up from the couch. He threw a look at his father as he went on; “Buffy said he can sleep in my room.”

“Did she now?” Spike glanced at Buffy, whose face was the perfect picture of innocence. The boy nodded.

Buffy shrugged, giving Spike a sweet smile before turning back to Billy with a firm expression. “Remember; the bed’s off limits. And if he makes a mess on the floor, you’ll clean it up.”

Billy nodded again. “Got it.” And he was gone.

Spike shook his head in amusement. “And you say I’m spoiling him. Cat’s gonna sleep right next to him on the pillow and you know it.”

Having the decency to blush, Buffy stubbornly avoided his eyes. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He let out a snort. “Course not.” A pause. “So, did you tell him?”

“What?” Buffy’s eyes widened in surprise. “No, of course not! Spike, we had this conversation last night. We agreed to tell Billy together, remember?”

“I know.” He lowered his eyes, looking slightly ashamed. “Just thought maybe you couldn’t wait.”

Buffy mock glared at him, appearing to be somewhat offended by his assumption. “Nice to know you have so much faith in me.”

“I’m sorry, luv.” Spike gave her an apologetic look, reaching for her hand. “Didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that...” He hesitated. “Well, let’s face it, it’s pretty big news.”

“Yes, it is.” Buffy nodded in agreement, giving his hand an assuring squeeze. “And that’s why Billy’s gonna hear it from both of us.” A beat. “How do you think he’ll react?”

“Dunno.” Spike got a thoughtful look on his face. “Might need some time to get used to the idea of suddenly becoming a big brother. Think he’ll be excited, though.”

“Yeah, me too.” Buffy smiled a little. “Actually, I bet he’ll be thrilled. Why don’t we just go tell him right now?” She started to get up.

Spike grabbed her arm to stop her. “What’s the rush? Give him some time to play with...” He rolled his eyes. “...his new friend.”

Buffy giggled. “Sooner or later, you’re gonna have to say the name out loud.”

He snorted. “Not bloody likely.”

“Okay, now you’re just being ridiculous.” Buffy’s face was a mixture of irritation and amusement. “It’s just a name. What’s the big deal?”

“S’a poncy name!” Spike grimaced. “Seriously, pet, Han Solo’s a soddin’ nancy-boy.”

“He’s not!” Buffy frowned. “Whatever that means. I think he’s cute.” Spike stared at her, baffled, and she grinned. “You’re just jealous.”

“Yeah, right!” Spike scoffed. Then he became serious. “You know, part of me still can’t believe all of this is real.”

“I know what you mean.” Buffy’s smile faded and she suddenly looked a little uncertain. “But it’s a good thing, right? I mean, you are happy about this?” She put her hand over her still flat belly.

He raised a brow, giving her an incredulous look. “You’re kidding, right? Or are you actually saying you can’t tell?”

Buffy visibly relaxed. “No, I know how you feel. Never mind. Must be the hormones, playing on my insecurities. Just forget I said anything.” Spike watched her for a moment, then nodded in acceptance.

When he slipped his arm around her shoulders, Buffy immediately scooted closer, happily snuggling up against his chest. It was the truth; she didn’t doubt him or his feelings for a second. Still, she couldn’t deny the fact that her life had suddenly taken a whole new turn. From now on, nothing would ever be the same again.

Of course, things were about to change – drastically – for all of them, over the next couple of months. And she was happy. Happier than she could remember ever being before. Never in her wildest dreams had she seen this coming, though. She and Spike had always been so careful. Well, except for that one time, she thought, figuring that some things were just meant to be.

Much to Buffy’s relief – seeing how she still considered the house to be her last connection to her mother – Spike had not objected when she suggested him and Billy moving in with her instead of the other way around. He had no problems with that. And Billy had just been excited about the whole thing, although he kept asking when they were going to get married.

Spike had turned out to be right in his prediction that things would change for the better. He and Billy rarely had an argument these days, although they kept bickering from time to time. The two of them were more alike than either of them wanted to admit, something she found both amusing and sweet. Of course, she knew better than calling either of them ‘sweet’, since doing so would without doubt result in a sour look and loud objections.

Her friends, Willow and Xander, had questioned the fact that she – who had never dated a guy for longer than a week – had taken such a huge step so soon, but when they realized she was truly happy, they had stopped arguing. Of course, Willow had turned to Spike with her resolve face, calmly stating that if he ever hurt her best friend in any way, she would gladly beat him to death with a shovel.

She couldn’t help but feel a small pang in her chest whenever she thought of her mom, knowing that she would never be able to see her grandchild. Buffy had a feeling Joyce would have really liked Spike, and she knew her mother would be happy for her. Still, naturally, it made her feel a little sad.

“What are you thinking about, pet?”

Spike’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and she smiled a little. “Just thinking how lucky I am.” She paused. “Sometimes I’m afraid this is all just a dream, you know?”

“Yeah, well, s’not.” He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, and she let out a blissful sigh. “’Sides, hasn’t all been a picnic.”

“Yeah.” Buffy was quiet for a moment. Spike was right, of course. Thinking back at everything that had happened since they first met, it was a wonder they had made it this far.

Spike watched her in silence, his thoughts wandering in the same direction. Not even six months ago, he had not expected to find love ever again. To tell the truth, after his disastrous marriage, he hadn’t even wanted to. But then he met Buffy, and from that moment, everything had changed.

Buffy had turned out to be the rock for him – and Billy, for that matter – to lean on, and he didn’t even want to think about where they would be today if she hadn’t entered their lives. His love for her only seemed to grow stronger each day, and he supposed that the fact that she fully returned his feelings would never completely cease to amaze him.

Billy still went to his weekly therapy sessions, and Spike could clearly see a change in his behavior. Not only did the boy appear to be calmer and less aggressive; he also seemed genuinely happy these days. And that alone meant more to Spike than he would ever be able to express in words.

Although a part of him would never completely forgive himself for not leaving Dru sooner, the guilt he still struggled with from time to time got a little easier to handle with Buffy’s never-ending love and support. And he was relieved beyond words that she and Billy were getting along so well.

Actually, the two of them would gang up on him from time to time, just for the sake of it, and while he made a show of acting offended, he didn’t really mind. In all honesty, he was grateful that Billy finally had a loving and caring mother figure in his life. He just wondered how well Billy would react when he realized that he would have to share Buffy’s attention with a new-born baby. Things sure were about to get interesting.

Speaking of Billy, the boy in question chose that moment to come rushing down the stairs. “Going to Connor’s house. He wants to see Han. That okay?”

“Sure.” Spike nodded with a shrug, ignoring the way Buffy tried to stifle a giggle. “Just be back in time for dinner.” Mumbling something in agreement, Billy quickly left the house, the kitten safely scooped up in his arms. Connor was the eleven year old boy who had moved into Spike and Billy’s old house, along with his parents – Liam and Nina. As it had turned out, he and Billy had hit it off right away.

“So...” As soon as Billy was gone, he turned to Buffy, expectantly. “Just the two of us, eh?”

“M-hm.” She put on an innocent expression. “Whatever will we do to pass the time?”

He raised a brow, suggestively. “Have a few ideas, if you’re interested.”

“I’ll think about it. Let you know when I’m done.” Buffy giggled at the look on his face.

“Bloody hilarious, pet.” Spike got up, holding out his hand towards her. She took it without hesitation, allowing him to pull her to her feet. Their eyes met and he gave her a sexy grin, curling his tongue behind his teeth. They never made it up the stairs.


The End