Drawn to the Fire

Chapter 1

In the moment, she knew. She could feel his essence; his very being was surging through her as searingly as the hottest flame. But all thoughts vanished as the hellish stone beneath her began to give way, cracking and expanding, threatening to swallow them both. Still, she remained still, his sharp blue eyes silently studying her as he contemplated the what-could-have-beens.

And then her legs were carrying her away from him. She could hear flesh sizzling in enchanted sunlight, and all she could do was run. He wouldn’t let her save him. Not again. It was time for him to do the saving.

“Hey, B?” Buffy blinked painfully as dusky light filled the dark hotel room. She picked her heavy head up from the pillow and glanced at a tired, banged up Faith who stood stiffly in the doorway. “Just wanted to tell ya…Robin’s gonna make it. He lost a lot of blood, but he should be good to go in a few days.”

“Good,” Buffy said quietly, uncertain herself if her voice had even carried far enough for the other slayer to hear. Faith’s hand jiggled the door knob, and she shifted her weight from foot to foot, contemplating her choices. Stay and have a heart-to-heart or avoid the mushy sentimental crap all together.

Buffy closed her eyes for a moment, but they flew open again at the feeling of weight being shifted upon the bed. She felt a clammy hand on her shoulder.

“B?”

“I heard you. It’s good. He’s gonna live.”

“I know you heard me. Are you…are you alright? I know you and Spike…”

“No. You don’t know anything about…”

“Whoa, B, I didn’t mean to…” She had felt every muscle in Buffy’s arm tense, and she knew that the subject of Spike would be a sore one for some time. She stood up and moved back toward the door. “Andrew’s taking orders for dinner. Some of the girls got quite an appetite after…after everything. You want anything?”

“No,” she said quietly. She brought her hand to her forehead, rubbing the ache as if willing it to go away.

“Alright. Just…let me know if you change your mind.” Faith started to walk away, but Buffy sat up quickly.

“Faith?”

“Yeah?”

“Make…make sure Dawnie eats something.”

“You know there’s no making that girl do anything. She’s as stubborn as her sister.”

“Tell her…tell her I’m alright. I just need to be alone right now.”

“Ok. Just…well…” Faith seemed to be pondering her words. “You aren’t the only person who lost someone today. A lot of girls died…and Anya…”

“You think I don’t know that? I’m sorry they’re gone, Faith. I…I can’t change that.”

“No, but you could…be with the girls…with Xander. I think he could use another friend. Willow’s trying, but she’s not…look, he needs you, alright? Maybe you can talk to him…share the grief? It’s gotta be a heavy burden to carry alone.” Faith slipped out of the room, and Buffy slowly lay her head back down on the pillow.

Her hand splayed out against the mattress, and she studied the slightly-singed flesh. It was just a bit pinker than her other hand, and as she curled her fingers, she felt a twinge of pain there. It was all she had left of him, and in that moment, her heart sank. He was really gone. Not gone like normal people. He was dust. No grave to visit, no coffin to lower into the ground. He was gone, buried beneath a city that would never be resurrected from its new home in Hell.

“I love you.”

“No you don’t, but thanks for saying it.”

She closed her eyes as tears beat against the backs of her lids like waves crashing against one another in a hurricane.

“I do,” she whispered. “I should have told him. I should have…” She broke down. Deep down, she knew why he’d said it. She knew that if he’d let himself believe she could really want to be with him, he might have given in and ran with her. But he’d had to stay. He’d had to see it through to the end, so he’d told himself she couldn’t really love him. Only, she did. She truly did. So why didn’t she argue? Why didn’t she pull him out with her? Why didn’t she try to save him?

Opening her eyes and letting the tears free, she buried her face in the pillow and let everything out.

***


Giles, Willow, and Xander sat in a booth in the back corner of the café. The surrounding towns were practically deserted, so the now smaller group had made themselves at home on their way to…wherever it was they were going. They’d sent word to Angel and his people in L.A. that the Hellmouth along with The First were buried once again. Along with that news had been a roster of the dead, which heavily outweighed that of the living. Anya and Spike’s names seemed to stand out above all the others.

“He said she was brave,” Xander said quietly, picking at the uneaten, stale muffin on his plate.

“She was brave,” Willow said gently, placing a hand on her friend’s shoulder. He didn’t react. It was as if he couldn’t feel it. Shaking his head finally, he looked up at Willow with a tear running down his cheek, and Willow was brought back to a day in first grade when he’d come running to her, crying after some bullies picked on him. Only she’d been able to quell his tears. She reached out, gently placing her hand against his bruised face.

“I wish she wasn’t. I wish she’d run away…like she did before graduation. You remember?”

“I remember,” Willow said quietly. “But Anya wouldn’t have left. She…she loved you, and she wouldn’t have let you go into this alone.”

“Willow’s right, you know,” Giles said quietly. “Anya was a lot of things. And her heart was in the right place.”

“She was a fool,” Xander replied. “For loving me. For thinking her death mattered. What did her dying do? Huh? The only person that really needed to die was Spike, isn’t that right?”

“Xander,” Willow said quietly.

“Why the hell were any of us there, huh? Maybe if Angel had gotten the amulet to us sooner…if we’d known what it could do, we could have saved a lot of lives.”

“We all could have done things differently,” Giles said quietly.

“I could have done a spell…something with sunshine…”

“There’s no use pointing blame in this matter, Xander,” Giles said quietly. “If we hadn’t wanted to be there, we wouldn’t have been. Anya was there, because she knew it was right. And it’s why you were there. Even if we’d known what the amulet was going to do…we’d have all been there, fighting just in case, because we all know that things aren’t as black and white as the pages are printed.”

Xander shook his head.

“All I know is that the woman I love died because we were stupid enough to think we had a shot of getting out alive…” Xander stood up and walked away, leaving Willow and Giles sitting silently alone.

“I should go after him,” she said quietly.

“He needs time to grieve,” Giles whispered. “Losing someone you love…we both know how devastating it can be. How rational thoughts fail to register…” Willow felt a twinge in her heart at the thought of Tara lying in her arms, still, eyes reflecting only the last moment’s happiness she’d displayed before a shot rang out and changed their destinies forever.

The silence only made the pain worse for each of them, thinking of their respective lost loves, both Tara and Jenny.

“I’m going to go…I…I don’t have much of an appetite anyway. Just knock when it’s time to head out,” Willow said quietly. Giles nodded in understanding and watched the perturbed witch rush out of the diner and back to the sanctuary of her hotel room.

***

She restlessly dangled one leg over the porch rail, as she looked down the deserved street. She knew without a shadow of a doubt that this would be the last night she spent looking at what used to be Mrs. Parker’s overgrown shrubs across the street or the large crack in the sidewalk courtesy of a very large demon she’d slain a few years ago.

There wasn’t a chill in the air, not even a breeze, yet she felt particularly chilly and wrapped her arms around herself. She knew what she was about to face. She knew that she might very well die, and this time, there would be no coming back. She’d thought about death a lot, and she’d once been ready to accept it, once been ready to die all over again. But now, all she wanted to do was spend the rest of her life with someone that knew her, knew her better than she knew herself. Closing her eyes, she thought about Spike and the words he’d said to her. It was like he knew exactly what she’d needed to hear, and even more than that, he’d said those things without wanting anything in return. She knew in her heart he was the real thing.

Before she knew what she was doing, she was heading down those steps, steps she’d rarely used before Spike had moved into the basement. She’d spent enough time down there as of late to be able to picture certain imperfections in the foundation. She’d often thought about how it was amazing the house was still standing after everything that had gone on inside it these past seven years.

There he was, sitting in that cot, the very cot he’d held her in just a night ago. A glimmer shined toward her, and she realized he was dangling the amulet in front of himself, contemplating the mystery that encircled this new gift.

The moment he saw her, he stood, placing the amulet on the pillow, his body tensing at the very sight of her. Tensing out of frustration, need, desire, and fear that he might lose control and hurt her. God, he never wanted to do that. But the look in her eyes told him she wasn’t there to tempt him. She wasn’t there to make him think about all of the amazingly nasty things he’d done. No, she was there for strength, the very thing he needed from her.

“Buffy?” he asked, his voice soft, uncertain. She stepped toward him, bridging a gap that had been between them for far too long. Shaking her head, she left him wondering exactly what was next. What could he expect? He didn’t deserve to have her looking at him like this. He knew that. But still, the moment she held her hands out, placing them on his shoulders, he knew that this wasn’t like before. This was what they’d become. Close. This was what they were now. They absorbed strength and determination from one another, but something was different now. Her hands moved around him, and her arms encircled him. She was hugging him, holding him tight. He could feel her heart pounding against his chest. The rapidness increased, and he realized she was trembling. Terrified.

“Come on, luv,” he said softly, holding her tightly, sitting down with her still wrapped in his arms. He lay back on the cot, and she lay against him, atop him, her head buried against his shoulder. He closed his eyes, willing his body not to betray him. He gently rubbed circles against her back, closing his eyes as he felt her breathing warm his cool chest.

The feeling of his arms around her made her safe. She felt untouchable. She felt certain that this was right. Whatever this was, it was supposed to happen. Spike was a champion, that was for certain. He was her champion. When he held her, it was as if the entire Earth crumbled away, and not even the impending apocalypse could crumble the certainty she felt toward him. Spike had changed, and she was never more sure of it than she was in this moment.

“Spike?” She sat up, bleary eyed, blinking into the dark. The dank smell of the room reminded her of where she was, how she’d gotten there, and how Spike wasn’t with her. Prickling sensations ran up and down her arms and her back. It was as if a part of her was missing but she could still feel it. She could still feel his arms around her.

Suddenly, she felt as if she was suffocating. She was restless again, and she needed to breathe.

She pulled herself away from the bed and opened the door, letting in the smell of oil and the sound of crickets. She leaned against the wooden doorframe and closed her eyes for a moment, listening to the sound of near-post-apocalypse.

“Buffy?” She turned at her sister’s voice. “Are…are you ok?” Buffy turned toward her sister and continued leaning on the frame of the door.

“I will be,” she said softly.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Buffy pondered that option for a moment before shaking her head.

“I think…I wanna keep it to myself…something for me. Something I can remember without…”

“I get it,” Dawn said quietly. She fidgeted nervously, stuffing her hands in her pockets. “I miss him too. I miss all of them.” Buffy didn’t move. She only blinked. “What are we gonna do now? Nobody wants to talk about it. But we…we have to, don’t we? We can’t stay here forever.”

“No, we can’t,” Buffy replied. “I guess we have some Slayers to find. We’ll start there, and…I guess that’s all we can do.”

“Yeah,” Dawn said uncertainly.

“Go on. Get some sleep.”

“Things’ll be better in the morning, right? Things are always better in the morning.” Buffy smiled bravely for her sister and nodded her head.

“Yeah. Good night, Dawn.”

“Night.” Dawn disappeared behind one of the pale, peach-colored doors, and Buffy listened carefully enough that she could hear the box springs squeak as Dawn collapsed atop the dusty mattress.

Taking a few deep breaths and staring out at the night, part of her hoping he’d pop up out of nowhere to steal a kiss or to taunt her into a fight like the good old days, she finally gave up hope that he was coming back to her. If it was meant to be, it would come in time. She knew that he was gone, but she wasn’t ready to let go yet. She wasn’t sure she ever could.

Chapter 2

“I know what I said,” Buffy said quietly, as she paced back and forth in the lobby of a quiet hotel, as the small group stood around her, waiting. “I know I said I could go, but I’m not ready yet.”

“Buffy, I know you miss Spike, and I know you don’t want to leave, but this is all…it’s all because of you. You got this organization up and running, and you’re just going to…not take control?” Xander asked.

“I can’t. Not yet.” She shook her head. She looked at her friends. Faith, Willow and Kennedy, Giles, Xander, Andrew and even Robin were all staring at her, wondering what her next words would be.

“You all have places to be and you have Slayers to track down. I know there are more Slayers here. I’m going to find them.”

“But what about Scotland?” Xander asked.

“Willow’s new and improved Buffybot is pretty lifelike,” Dawn piped in, entering the scene with three Buffy look-alikes. Buffy #2, as they called her, would be accompanying Andrew and Dawn to Italy, where both would receive education while also searching for more Slayers. Giles, Faith and yes, even Robin, were headed to England with Buffy #3, while Willow and Kennedy were going to Brazil with #4. Buffy was supposed to be accompanying Xander to Scotland, but it was in this moment that they all realized that wouldn’t be happening.

“You can take #4,” Kennedy offered. “We can take care of ourselves. A Slayer and a Wicca goddess? I think we’ve got it under control.”

“Are you sure? I mean…”

“Hey, you’re the one with the eye patch, my man,” Faith pointed out. “I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to have a butt kicking babe at my side, even if she is all wires and metal on the inside. She might save your ass a time or two.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Xander muttered. “All right. I’ll take her. But where’ll you go?” Buffy hesitated, and Xander sighed.

“No, you can’t do that to yourself.”

“What?” Kennedy asked. “Do what?”

“He’s right, Buffy,” Willow pointed out, ignoring her girlfriend’s confusion. “You can’t do that to yourself. He’s…he’s in charge of Wolfram and Hart now. You don’t know what kind of…”

“Who said I was going, anyway?” Buffy asked. “I might stop by for a visit?”

“Yeah, a quickie, huh?”

“What are you talking about, Xander? Things aren’t like that between us anymore. We’re…we’re different people.”

“Yeah,” Xander replied, “but you’re still the one girl that gets his vampy senses tingling.” Buffy rolled her eyes.

“I’m not looking to get back together with Angel. I’m not looking to be with anybody.” She touched the rounded bump of her stomach and shook her head. “I think I have enough to deal with right now.”

“I think it would be best if someone stayed with you,” Giles pointed out.

“I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. Hello, Slayer? As in one of thousands now. You start building our army on the other side of the world, and I’ll hit up the ladies here in the good old U.S. of A.” She looked around at her friends, her family. “Besides, I’m not ready to say goodbye yet, even if home is impossible to go back to.”

“There’s still so much we don’t know about this…this mystical pregnancy,” Giles said, motioning toward Buffy’s rounding form. “All we know is that when you and Spike connected there at the end…something passed through to you…”

“I can’t talk about this right now,” Buffy said softly. “I know it’s impossible for a vampire and a human to have a child, but…” She shook her head. “I know this is something Spike left me with…something I’m supposed to take care of…carry on for him.”

Only a month and a half had passed, yet the signs had hit her hard and fast, and a trip to a medical facility had confirmed her suspicions that yes, she was pregnant, and had allayed her fears that the child was something other than human. From what she could tell, she had a human child growing in her, part of her, part of him, and all she could do was protect it with the best of her ability and bring it into the world as it was meant to be.

Closing her eyes, and placed her hand on her belly. If it wasn’t meant to be, it never would have happened.

“You’re adamant about this, aren’t you?” Giles asked.

“I have to do this. I have to stay. When I’m ready, I’ll find you. You know how to reach me.” Giles nodded, taking off his glasses and cleaning them.

“It’ll be ok, B. Willow’s sending us instructions on Buffybot repairs, but if we need any extra help, we know where to call.” Buffy nodded.

“So…this is it?” Dawn asked, a little tensely.

“Yeah,” Buffy said quietly. “I’ll write you. You know I will. And I’ll visit when it’s time.” Dawn nodded.

“Yeah. I know. Just…don’t take too long. I want my niece to know her favorite aunt.” Dawn smiled, as Buffy hugged her tenderly and let out a little cry. “Hey, I won’t be disappointed if it’s a boy. Hey, don’t cry.”

“Sorry,” Buffy said, wiping a couple of tears away. “Hormones.” She smiled and she went around hugging her friends, even Andrew, who turned away to get something out of his eye, as he put it.

“I’m about to call Angel…tell him what’s going on,” Willow said quietly. “You want me to tell him…”

“No,” Buffy said with a shake of her head. “I’m not going right away, I don’t think. I need time. I’m…just…just don’t tell him I’m staying.” Willow nodded in understanding and put her arm around Kennedy’s waist. Buffy stared at the group before her. For a moment, she felt as if she was meeting them all over again for the first time. In many ways, they were still the people she’d known for so long, but in other ways, they were so different. This last battle had changed them all in ways that would never be reversed. She knew all too well about that.

And then they were gone, all heading off to separate corners of the world, while she stayed put on her home soil. She felt alone, but at the same time, reaching down to brush her fingertips against the beginnings of her pregnant belly, she knew she would never be alone again, and she had Spike to thank for that.

***

“Bugger,” Spike muttered, as his hand passed through the flask. Angel only smiled with amusement as he watched this so-called hero struggle to get his hands on his most prized possession.

“Stings doesn’t it? Passing through? So I’ve heard anyway. Or is it cold?”

“Kinda like a mosquito bite,” Spike said slowly. “A mosquito the size of a soddin’ bear.” He sighed in frustration and gave up. “Any word from Fred?”

“Spike, she can’t spend every minute of her time looking for ways to make you corporeal again.”

“Well, I sure as bloody hell don’t want to spend the rest of eternity talking to you, now do I? I’d rather be a pile of ashes…again.”

“There’s always Harmony. You could talk to her. You know, I’m sure you have plenty to catch up on.”

“No thanks. Talking to Harm is like talking to a bleedin’ deaf mute…only not mute. She won’t shut her gob long enough to…”

“Angel?” Harmony came prancing into her boss’ office.

“Speak of the she-devil,” Spike muttered.

“Huh?” Harmony asked, placing her hand on her hip.

“Nothing, Harmony. What is it?” Angel asked, trying to make this as quick and painless as possible.

“Oh, I just got a call from Buffy’s Scooby bud, Willow. They’re all heading out.”

“All of ‘em?” Spike asked, turning.

“Well, yeah,” she said. “She said “we’re leaving the country to look for Slayers. Make sure Angel knows.” Then she threatened to turn me into dust if I used this knowledge to my own advantage. As if! I’m not that girl anymore.”

“You’re not even human,” Spike smirked.

“Yeah, well, look at you, you big, stupid, bleached…ghost!” Harmony turned, her hair whipping around as she did so, and she pranced from the room like a vampy nymph.

“So, Buffy’s leaving the country.” Spike paced for a moment, and then a look of revelation flashed across his face. “You know, I might go talk to Harmony after all.” Angel shook his head at the other vampire’s actions, as he disappeared through the closed door.

“Harm!” he bellowed, following her over to her desk.

“What?” she asked, irritated, but also trying to hide the blush on her cheeks. “What do you want? Now that your Slayer’s gone, you want to come back to…”

“A world of no,” he said, echoing the words his lovely Slayer had used what seemed a lifetime ago. “Besides, even if I wanted to, I can’t touch you. Incorporeal, remember? Listen, did the red witch happen to mention where Buffy’s going?”

“No. And you can’t leave anyway. You get so far as the edge of town, and you’re back here, remember?” Spike only glared at Harmony for a moment before turning and heading off for a little solitude. “What is with him?”

“You have to make me corporeal again,” Spike said impatiently, as he paced in front of Fred in the lab. She stared at him, both concern and annoyance creasing her brow.

“I don’t know how many ways there are to tell you that I’m doing the best I can. Spike, if I could make you corporeal again right now, I would, but I still don’t have all the calculations, and I don’t…I don’t know what might happen if we try.”

“So far, we’ve just had a few demons in accounting explode and a short power outage.” Fred stared. Spike continued, “Look, my lady’s leaving the country, and I need to get to her.”

“I thought you weren’t going to tell her…”

“Well, I don’t want her to see me like this, now do I? Those last few nights with Buffy…I can’t even…” He shook his head. “I need to get to her, Fred. Do you understand what it’s like to love someone so much that you’d rather die than be without ‘em? And I don’t mean die and come back and a ghost. I mean die and leave this plane of existence, because being here without really being here and still knowing that she’s here and getting further away from me every minute…”

“Ok, ok,” Fred said quickly, “calm down, Spike. Look, I’ll put in a few extra hours a day, if it’d make you feel better. I think we’re getting close to a cure. I just need more time.” Spike sighed heavily, but he knew there was nothing more he could do. He had to be patient, and he never had perfected the art of acting cool as a cucumber.

Turning, he left the room, his mind racing with images of Buffy getting further and further away from him. He had no idea of where she was going, but all he knew was that as soon as his feet were corporally on the ground again, he was going to search the world so he could find her and do things right. He was still the vampire—no, the man, she’d called him—he was those last few nights, and he was going to hold her and watch her sleep every single night if she’d let him. The time was coming, and until then, all he could do was ache until he had her back in his arms.

Chapter 3

“Ooof!” Buffy grunted as she landed hard on her back. Fighting demons and being pregnant at the same time weren’t exactly the most complementary things in the world, but as a Slayer, she was making it work, most of the time. She not only had herself to worry about, but she had her child. His child. It wasn’t like protecting Willow or Xander or anyone else. It was harder because she had to protect herself even more than before. If she was going to fall, she had to fall just the right way. It was terrifying, but she was adjusting.

The demon, yellow, scaly and with six inch fingernails in bad need of a manicure, lunged at her, and she flattened her arms to the ground, threw her weight into her legs, hoisted herself up in a position Yoga instructors would be in awe of, and kicked the demon, sending him flying over her and landing, his back cracking against the sturdy trunk of an old oak tree.

Getting up and brushing herself off, she stared at the dead beast, trying to think of something witty to say, but she only found herself rubbing her aching back, thankful that the fight was over. She had lived one more night, and she was one night closer to bringing her child into the uncertainty of the world she fought every day to protect.

“Hey, lady? You ok?” Buffy spun around to see a police officer slowing to a halt. “Got a call about some sounds of a struggle.”

“Um, me? I’m fine. No struggling here, officer.” The officer, thankfully, couldn’t see the body of the dead demon, so in hopes of keeping it that way, Buffy made her way closer to the car. “I’m just on my way home.” She looked around, uncertain of her exact surroundings. The demon had led her on quite a chase, and now she was turned around.

“Do you know where you’re going?” he asked.

“Not exactly.”

“Need a lift?”

“No, I can find my way…I just…well, where’s North street? I can get there from here.”

“It’s about fifteen blocks that way.” He made a motion with his hand. “Come on, let me drive you home. You don’t look like you’re in any condition to be out here, especially this late at night.”

“Hey, I can take care of myself,” she said defensively, but her feet were aching, and her stomach was growling. She wanted to get home before dawn, at least. “Oh, fine.” She walked around the car, eyeing the policeman warily for a moment before calculating that he could probably be trusted. Still, she kept a hand ready to draw out her boot knife just in case he pulled anything funny. New York City was a scary place, she’d been told. Now she lived there, and at times, it seemed more hellish than the Hellmouth itself.

“New to the city, huh?” He coasted back out onto the street and turned in the right direction after Buffy gave him her address.

“Yeah. Really new. As in just moved last week.”

“Oh, that new?”

“Yeah,” she said. “It shows, huh?” The officer smiled, flashing a row of pearly whites. Buffy noticed how he seemed to puff his chest out just a bit. He was good looking enough, but Buffy couldn’t help asking herself if this guy was for real.

“Just a little,” he laughed in a haughty, put-on way that made her cringe a little. He was kind of like Wesley when he first came to Sunnydale, only not British and more muscle-bound. “So where are you from?”

“Nowhere that’s anywhere anymore.”

“That’s mysterious.”

“Yeah, well I’m a mysterious kinda gal, I guess.” Buffy didn’t make any indication that she was going to tell him anything about her, so he let out a little sigh.

“I’m from Indiana, myself. Moved here right out of college, so I know my way around pretty well by now. Maybe I could show…”

“Look, Officer…” she glanced at his badge, narrowing her eyes to make out the name in the dark “Andrews…I’m not looking for…” She shifted enough that her expanding belly was revealed by a beam of moonlight.

“Oh…I’m sorry, you’re married…”

“No,” she said slowly. “What? Because I’m pregnant, you automatically think I have a husband? What century are you living in?”

“Whoa, hey, sorry. Didn’t mean to upset you.” Buffy turned to stare out the front windshield.

“If you must know, the father’s…he died.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

“I didn’t mean to stir up bad feelings.”

“It’s ok. He died…well, he died saving my life.” She placed her hand on her belly, and the depth of those words cut deeply.

“Sounds like the kind of man your kid’s gonna be proud to be part of.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said softly, a sad smile playing at her lips. “He was a good man.”

The rest of the drive was silent, and before too long, the car was slowing in front of the apartment building.

“You gonna be ok from here? I gotta head back to the station.”

“Yeah, thanks for the ride.”

“If you need anything…here’s my card.” He handed it to her and drove off. Under the flickering street light, Buffy read the card aloud. “Officer Michael Andrews N.Y.P.D.” She sighed and stuffed the card into her jacket pocket before heading into the building.

Once inside her small apartment, she sprawled out on the bed and closed her eyes, dialing speed dial 7 on her phone. It wasn’t long before she got a chirpy “hello?” from the other end.

“Hey Wil.”

“Buffy? Hey!”

“Were you awake?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I just got out of the shower. What’s up? Everything ok? How’s the baby? Oh, did you find out what it is yet? Am I asking too many questions?” Buffy laughed for the first time in what felt like a decade.

“I’m fine. So’s the baby. It’s making me look really fat, and I can’t fit into my cute jeans anymore. But it’s healthy, and…and we’re doing ok. I don’t know what it is…it was shy at the ultrasound. But it’s human. That’s good, right?”

“Very good,” Willow replied. “So have you talked to Angel?”

“No. I kind of decided not to go. I thought it might stir up too much…I just can’t deal with it right now. Seeing him would only remind me of the last time I saw him…when he gave me the amulet. And that just leads to hours of crying and spending time with Ben and Jerry. You know, they really need a new flavor.”

“Oh,” Willow said softly. “I guess I didn’t really think about how seeing Angel would make you…well, I guess it makes sense. Maybe…maybe you could still call him? Let him know what’s going on.”

“I don’t exactly know how to call up my ex-boyfriend and tell him that I’m carrying the child of another vampire whom he pretty much despises.” She shook her head. “Of course I can’t use the line ‘give him a chance.’ He’s not here to be given a chance. Not like anybody would if he was here.”

“That’s not true.”

“Oh, come on, Wil. Nobody really thought it was a good idea that we got the chip removed. Even with a soul…nobody trusted him.”

“You did,” Wil said softly. “And he knew that. He knew how you felt.”

“Yeah. And the dummy wouldn’t let me have my moment. I was telling him…I thought he wanted to hear it, and he just…he just told me I didn’t love him. And I did! I still do.”

“I know it’s hard. I still…I think about Tara, and then I realize…she’s gone, and…and I can’t even visit her grave anymore. It’s all gone.” Buffy sniffled, nodding as if Willow could see the gesture. Her mother was gone, too. So many people were lost in that abyss, taken down to Hell unwillingly, and Buffy was only grateful her mother was gone long before that had happened.

“It just doesn’t make sense, Wil. He’s been gone for months, but it doesn’t feel…final.”

“Maybe because he wasn’t really…”

“Alive?” Buffy finished.

“Well, yeah. I mean, all those years, he was a vampire…still was when he…you know?”

“But I counted on him, Wil.” Tears were forming in her eyes. “I counted on him to be there, because I just came to expect he would be, even when I didn’t want him there. And then I…”

“Fell in love with him?”

“Yeah,” she breathed. “I don’t expect you to understand. Spike…I don’t even think he understood. After he got his soul, he…well, he was punishing himself for the things he’d done. I just wish I had the chance to go back and tell him…what’s past is past, and I’m not angry for the things that happened before…”

“I’m sure he knows.”

“Why because he’s floating on a cloud somewhere listening? We both know that’s not true.” Buffy chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. “It would be easier to believe though.”

“Yeah,” Willow said softly. “Maybe…maybe you should come for a visit? After the baby’s born, I mean. It might do you both some good to get away.”

“Maybe. I don’t know. Umm, how are things there?”

“Good. We found another Slayer. Maria. She’s kind of…well…picture Faith on a really bad day.”

“Oh, fun,” Buffy said quietly.

“Any luck on your end?”

“Nah. After I sent Jess and Liz your way, I haven’t found anymore.”

“Hey, you found two before we’d even been gone a week. I’d say that’s pretty good.”

“I guess I’ve been a little preoccupied.”

“Understandable. Hey, why don’t you get some rest? I’ll call you tomorrow…your tomorrow, and I’ll check in. Ok?”

“Yeah. Thanks for listening, Wil.”

“Hey, that’s what best friends are for, right?”

“Yeah. Bye.”

“Bye.” Buffy hung up and stared up at the ceiling, feeling a little kick in the side from her child. She placed her hand where the tiny foot—or was it elbow—was putting pressure. Smiling, she had to chuckle to herself as she stared across the room at the makeshift nursery she’d created. A crib and a changing table in the corner didn’t exactly qualify as every parent’s idea of their child’s dream room, but it was ok for now. Not even six months ago, her main thoughts were of strategies and ways to get info on The First and the impending apocalypse. Now she spent her time thinking about how she was going to juggle changing diapers and decapitating demons. Her child wasn’t even born yet, and it had already faced mortal danger countless times. She knew that it wouldn’t get easier. It never did.

“We’ll be ok,” she finally breathed. “We’ll make his death count for something. I promise.”

***

“Bloody Hell it’s good to be back!” he laughed, feeling lighter than air, which was funny, considering he was solid through, completely corporeal again. Grabbing Fred, startling her, he gave her a squeeze. “I don’t know what you did, luv, but it was bloody brilliant! You can feel me, right? I’m not dreamin’?”

“No, you’re not,” she said awkwardly but with a smile on her face. “Honestly…I’m not sure what I did either. I just…these texts that Wesley gave me…I don’t even know what they say, but he said there might be something to it. You’re really back!”

“I am,” he said merrily, clapping his hands together, pondering what he should do first. After months of not being able to touch, drink, smoke, feel, he knew exactly what he wanted, and in that moment he had to have it. Grabbing Fred by the shoulders, he watched her gasp and widen her eyes.

“Luv, where is it?”

“What?”

“My flask. I need it.”

“What?”

“I need a drink! Now.”

“Spike, that’s the first thing you want to do?”

“Well, not the first,” he said suggestively, but not geared toward her, and she could tell, because he seemed to be looking past her, out the window at the bright sunny day that wasn’t making his flesh sizzle, thanks to the mojo the folks at Wolfram and Hart had installed for their boss, Captain Forehead.

“Why don’t we go see Angel? I’m sure he’d be happy to hear that…”

“No, I’ve had just about enough of this place. I’m leaving.”

“What? You can’t leave without knowing…”

“Knowing what? How I’m back? Luv, I don’t really care about the mumbo jumbo behind it. All I know is that I’ve got a flask calling my name, and there’s a certain girl I need to see.”

“And you don’t even know where to begin looking for her. Spike, why don’t you sit down, and I’ll get your flask. Then we can talk to Angel and see about getting in touch with Buffy.”

“Like he’d really help me find her. Sorry, truly am, but I don’t think the first thing he’s gonna want to do is help me get in touch with a girl we both happen to fancy. I think I’ll be watching my back from now on, make sure he hasn’t got his hands on anything pointy and wooden.”

“Spike, Angel wouldn’t do that.”

“Well, I don’t think I’ll be sticking around to find out. Got a girl to see.”

“That’s all you think about isn’t it?”

“What? Buffy?”

“Yeah.”

“Well…yeah. I mean…it’s…Buffy,” Spike said quietly, his tone becoming a bit more serious. “She’s the reason I’m here. I don’t know why it is I’m here, but it’s got to be about her.”

“How do you know that?”

“I don’t. I just…I feel it. I feel like it’s not over. There’s something I have to do, still, and I think it’s because of her. Sorry, Fred. Don’t think I’m not grateful, because I am. But I’ve got to find her. I can’t stay here. I think I’ve worn out my welcome anyway. I’ll write. That is…whenever I get to wherever the hell it is I’m going.”

Chapter 4

Her entire body ached, as she pulled herself off of the bed. Even with her super Slayer healing, last night’s run-in with the demon was still taking its toll on her. Most of it, she knew, was because of the pregnancy, but wanting to put the blame somewhere, she decided upon the dead demon.

Her ankles were swollen, her back ached, her thighs were tense and bruised, and her shoulders felt as if they’d been carrying around the weight of the world for seven years. Well, metaphorically, they had, but literally? That’s what it felt like.

She looked at the clock, realizing she’d forgot to set it before falling asleep last night. Thankfully, she wasn’t running too late, and she knew she could make her doctor’s appointment on time if she just motivated herself enough to shower and get ready.

But, as she looked at her naked body in the bathroom mirror, she wondered how she was going to explain the bruises to her doctor. Most of them she could cover up, but the ones on her thighs she couldn’t. And, she noticed with a frown upon her face, a black and blue mark on her side, seeping into the stretching skin on her stomach was very visible. Her mouth went dry, and her heart began to pound. Placing her hand upon her belly, all she could do was wonder if their baby was alright. The feeling of a little foot kicking her relieved some of the worry, but still, she knew deep down that she would always worry, always fear the worst. It wasn’t healthy, but it was a part of who she was. She was a Slayer, and soon, she would be a mother. She only hoped she would find more of a balance than Nikki Wood had. She didn’t want her child to grow up motherless like poor Robin.

After showering and dressing, she was pulling on a heavier jacket. November in New York was quite chilly this year.

She managed to hail a cab and was at the doctor’s office within twenty minutes. She checked in and settled down in the waiting room where several pregnant women—some heavily and some looking scared to death and not even showing—sat around reading magazines or silently praying that their home pregnancy tests were wrong and that the doctor could give them the good or the not-so-good news.

Buffy didn’t feel as if she belonged in the mommy crowd. Many of them seemed to be positively glowing, excited, not a hair out of place. Buffy felt bloated, nauseated, and it was all she could do to muster up the energy to run a comb through her hair in the morning. She knew everybody experienced pregnancy differently, so she decided that it was because this was Spike’s child. She couldn’t get off too easily, now could she? He had to have his fun, even from beyond the grave.

She chuckled as the baby began to move. It often did when she thought of Spike, and her heart gave a little twinge and a skip, and she sighed shakily. Thinking of Spike still got right to her very soul. She often woke in the middle of the night, dreaming he was there with her. Or on the bad nights, she’d wake in a sweat, panting heavily, feeling the searing, stabbing pain of the almost mortal wound she’d been inflicted with just before Spike’s sunny demise.

“Miss Summers?” Buffy looked up at the smiling nurse who waited with a clipboard, a thermometer and several other gadgets that made Buffy squirm.

She followed her to the back, had her temperature and blood pressure taken, she was weighed, which was becoming even less fun with each trip to the doctor, and then she was forced to sit in the quiet room filled with pictures of cute babies smiling at her.

Signs for breastfeeding and even for circumcision were posted with diagrams that made Buffy a little anxious.

“You know,” Buffy said softly, rubbing her belly, “they really shouldn’t put so much pressure on us. I mean, that just makes things more stressful for the baby, right?”

Buffy was startled when her cell phone rang, and she checked the caller I.D. It was Giles calling. She sighed. Who was she expecting? It wasn’t like Angel had her new cell phone number. The only people who really knew how to reach her were her doctor and her now international friends who were off kicking demon butt and rounding up Slayers for proper training.

“Giles?”

“Buffy? Is it a bad time?”

“No! No. What’s up?”

“I thought you might be interested to know that Dawn’s just phoned. She made top grades.”

“She did?” Buffy asked, disappointment thick in her voice, but only because Dawn hadn’t called her first. “That’s…that’s great. I…I thought she would call, but…”

“Well, she was going out to celebrate, so I’m sure she’ll call you later.”

“Yeah. Sure.” Buffy smiled a little half-heartedly.

“You don’t sound well. Are you alright?”

“Mmm, yeah, just had a close call with a demon last night.”

“What kind of demon?”

“I don’t know…the usual creepy, scaly type. I’m not exactly keen on the book stuff, remember?”

“Ah, well, you handled yourself alright?”

“I’m still alive, aren’t I?”

“And the baby?” He asked it with such hesitation. Buffy knew he wasn’t thrilled with the idea of the Slayer he had trained for so many years having the child of a long gone vampire. Still, she was like a daughter to him, and he knew this was important to her.

“Alright. Well, I’m at the doctor…here to make sure. But I think so…anyway.”

“Have you spoken to Angel?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that? No. Alright? I’m not ready to see him.” She was harsh, but she was sick of everyone wondering if she was going to go to him. Well, she had seemed rather motivated before, but that didn’t mean she had to go right away, did it?

“Maybe it would be for the best, Buffy. Perhaps Angel could help you look into the origins of…of this child before the birth.”

“Oh, you mean in case I give birth and my baby has tentacles and six heads? I think it’s pretty clear it’s a human, Giles. Or at least looks it. I mean, you did get the 4-D ultrasound picture I sent you didn’t you? The baby totally has my lips. Definitely going to have Spike’s nose though.”

“Buffy?”

“Hmm?”

“You do realize that…that because the events surrounding the pregnancy are so…so tumultuous, it’s possible that this child’s birth could…”

“This child’s birth is not meant for anything except to cause me pain. And the normal kind of pain. Not the ‘the world’s going to end, and I have to watch the man I love die in order to stop it’ kind.”

“Buffy, please. Just be sensible. I understand that you want to protect your child and nurture it. It is your last remaining link to Spike. Still, I do wonder if perhaps you’re letting your grief get in the way of…”

“Giles, I don’t expect you to understand. I love you, but I won’t let you talk me into suspecting that my child’s anything other than good. Sure, it wasn’t conceived the natural way. But Spike gave this child to me. Somehow, when he had that amulet on, and I touched him, I could feel his love for me, and that’s the moment he gave me this baby. I can’t think anything bad could come from that. Spike had a soul. I have a soul. Two souls…I don’t think that makes anything soulless, do you?”

“Just be careful.”

“I’m always careful. But I suppose I can’t expect anyone to buy me anything for a baby shower, now can I? I’m the last person who would have expected me to fall for Spike, but it happened, because I saw him change. I saw what a good man he could be, and more than that, I saw that he wanted to be even better. But nobody saw that. They only saw how The First was controlling him. They only saw the potential danger he could be.”

“Buffy…”

“No. Look, I don’t think I’m ready to talk about Spike with anyone. After all, Giles, it wasn’t too long before he died that you plotted his death with Robin. You didn’t think I’d forgotten that, did you?”

“I was doing what I thought was best.”

“I know. And I understand. I just wish you could understand that this is what I think is best. Having this baby.” She shook her head. “I never in my life thought about being a mother. I never thought I’d live long enough to have that. But when it happened, my life changed. This was Spike’s gift, and I’m not letting go of that. Never.” A knock came to the door, and Buffy straightened up. “I have to go. The doctor’s here.” She hung up, and she tried to calm herself after the upsetting conversation with Giles. She couldn’t be too angry with him. He was looking after her in the best way he knew how being more than an ocean apart. Still, it hurt to know that she could never really share her innermost thoughts about Spike with anyone. Nobody could ever understand. The only person who might show some ounce of understanding would be Angel, and even he couldn’t stand Spike. She was alone. She would always be alone, but she would never let her baby forget what its father did for the world.

After answering some very awkward questions about the bruises, Buffy managed to convince the doctor that she had been run into by a skateboarder and had fallen into a fence. Somehow, he’d managed to buy it, and soon, he was firing up the ultrasound machine.

“Is everything ok?” Buffy immediately asked. The doctor was silent for a few moments, studying the images on the screen, writing things down and then typing at the computer. Soon, he turned on the audio, and the room filled with the swish-swish-swish-swish of the baby’s heartbeat. Buffy felt her heart begin to melt. Who would have thought a vampire Slayer would turn to butter at the sound of a heartbeat when she spent so many nights stabbing pointed wood through the non-beating hearts of the evil undead.

“Heartbeat’s perfectly normal,” he said with a nod. “Oh, and I think…yes, I can see the baby’s sex. Do you want to know?” Buffy thought for a moment. She had often tried to picture scenarios in each stage of her pregnancy, asking Spike his thoughts on certain things. She had even dreamed up a rather funny little conversation she and Spike might have had had he been here. It involved him insisting that no child of his was going to wear pink or blue and then going out and buying a infant-sized leather jacket. She’d imagined asking him if he expected her to let him gel the baby’s hair and bleach it white too.

“You…you know? You know if it’s a Buffy Jr. or a Spike Jr.?” The doctor furrowed his brows.

“Well, I wouldn’t suggest naming your child either of those things, but yes, I know. The question is…do you want to know?” Buffy considered her options for a moment before nodding.

“Yeah…yeah, I think…yes. I wanna know.”

“Looks like you’ve got yourself a Spike Jr.”

“A boy?” Buffy asked, surprised at this revelation. That explains a lot, she thought. Always giving me a hard time, nudging me in the middle of the night. Like father like son.

“Yes. See…here.” He pointed on the screen, and Buffy could see without a shadow of a doubt that she was carrying a son.

“Oh,” she said quietly, placing her hand on her belly. “Wow. A boy.” Honestly, she hadn’t been sure she could even have boys. Since the Slayer thing was pretty much all girl power, she expected to have a daughter despite the knowledge that Robin Wood was a slayer’s son. But no, Spike had once again thrown her for a loop and given her a son. This little boy was now her life, more important than anything else, yet she knew that part of her heart had to stay solid, and she had to make certain she didn’t ignore her duties as a Slayer. She just hoped that her son would know that his mother loved him, and she hoped they would have many years together, more than she’d had with her own mother.

***

Giles removed his glasses and rubbed vigorously at the lenses to clean them, as Faith and Robin came walking in. Faith, acting much more girly that usual, had one hand slipped inside the back pocket of the ex-principal’s pants, and Giles hadn’t really wanted to see that.

“Giles! Got some good news for you.”

“What’s that?” he asked the Slayer.

“That book you bought from the guy in Africa? It’s here.” She put the package down on the desk that was already littered with papers and open books. It landed with a loud thud. “And it’s heavy. Sounds like you’ve got some long, boring hours of reading ahead of you. So if you don’t mind, we’re going to go out patrolling for demons and maybe seeing about rustling up some more Slayers.”

“Yes, that’ll be fine,” Giles said with a nod, replacing his glasses to their proper place on his head.

“Giles, man, you really need to get some sleep.”

“I have to figure out what’s going on with Buffy.”

“Moodswings?” Faith asked, not getting a laugh in response to her joke. “Look, B’s a big girl. She can take care of herself, and even if the kid turns out to be some hell beast, I’m sure she’ll know what to do.”

“I don’t know if Buffy’s even thinking clearly at all. Mystical pregnancies often distort the mother’s perception. She may find the child to be good, even if it’s pure evil.”

“It can’t be all bad. I did see the picture. Cute kid. Looks like Spike,” Faith said with a nod. “Try to lighten up, G. If Buffy wants to bear the fruit of the undead’s loom, then that’s her prerogative. As long as I’m not the one on diaper duty, I’m cool.”

“You don’t want kids?” Robin asked, out of the blue. Faith turned to him.

“Are you kidding me? You think I wanna ruin this bod just to bring some kid into the world that’s gonna be inevitably screwed up? No thanks. I know what it’s like to have it rough. I wouldn’t wish that on any kid.” She turned and headed out with a blundered Robin following behind shortly thereafter.

Giles opened up the package left for him, and with a yawn, he took a sip of strong coffee and dove right in to the new reading material.

***

He felt electrified, as he rode along the deserted highway, wind whipping past him, as he took a long, overdue drag on his cigarette. He took in an unnecessary breath, smelling the sweet scent of freedom as he pushed past the city limits and broke free of the place he haunted for the past six months. He had no idea where he was going, but he couldn’t stay one more minute in that city, not while she was out there, each day slipping further away from him. What if she had found someone new? He knew the right thing to do would be to let her be happy, but he knew that even with his soul still intact, he’d bloody well rather see her alone and missing him than with somebody else. He’d rather be dead than see some other man making her smile, making her feel the things he hoped that only he could make her feel. It was a right selfish thing to think, he knew, but it was the honest truth. He only wanted her, and he wanted her to only want him. Still, he had no idea how he was going to explain his existence if—no, when—he found her.

As he rode down the dark, barren road with no signs of other travelers, his mind wandered back to the night before his world stopped.

She had fallen asleep, and he was just on the brink, when he felt her hand move only slightly against his chest. The feeling of her hand pressed there, as if longing to feel his heart thumping beneath bone and skin, was mesmerizing. Her fingers curled just slightly, and she was gripping his shirt, as if holding on for dear life. But when he gave her shoulder a little squeeze, he felt her relax, moaning softly against him, as if he’d made her feel all better.

Never in his entire life had he wanted someone more, but more than that, he wanted to make love with her. They’d never had that closeness before. They’d had raw, passionate sex, but the closest they’d ever come to making love had been when she’d come to him, upset about Captain Cardboard’s marriage, and she’d asked him to tell her he loved her and that he wanted her. They were just words then, but he’d meant them with everything he had had in him. Still, it wasn’t the kind of closeness he’d wanted with her. Just holding her, just watching her sleep made him feel closer to her than he’d ever been when he’d been inside of her. Still, he wanted that again. He wanted to look in her eyes, kiss her softly, feel her surrounding him, saying his name, but saying it with all the love in her heart shining through at him in her gaze.

“Someday,” he whispered. “We’ll have that, Buffy. You’ll say it, and I’ll know you mean it.”

His thoughts wandered back to those words. ‘She’ll tell you. Someday, she’ll tell you.’ If it meant what he thought it did, he knew it had to feel right. He couldn’t bear hearing her say it, not knowing if it was real.

He jolted out of his thoughts when he hit a large bump on the road. He steadied the bike and continued on down the path unscathed. Still, thinking about how he’d wanted her to say she loved him and know it was true…it started a sudden realization inside of him. He’d given her an out. She had told him. He’d looked into her eyes and seen the truth, and he gave her an out!

“Bleedin’ idiot,” he said to himself, shaking his head. He’d felt it. In that gaze, in the way her hand fit with his, and she didn’t pull away even as the world was literally crumbling around them. In that moment, she’d been his, and he was hers, and all she’d wanted was for him to feel that love and maybe even come with her. But no, he’d had to stay and do the right thing. He’d died, and now she was off gallivanting across Europe with her last memory of him being his saying that she really didn’t love him and bloody thanking her for saying it anyway. “Good job, you ponce.”

“I’ll make it right, Slayer. I’ll find you. You just sit tight. I’m coming.”

Chapter 5

Half asleep but still fully aware of the words in front of him, Giles rubbed his tired eyes under his glasses, yawning impressively before flipping the page to a new chapter. It was then that he felt fully awake, ready to read for another few hours if necessary. A chapter on a prophecy he’d never heard about.

“Good lord,” he breathed as he began to read. “The child of a vampire and slayer will come to be after the earth has shaken and Hell has threatened to rise.” He pulled off his glasses to clean them and prepare himself for whatever he was about to read. Then he continued. “The child, born of natural enemies, will bring a balance between vampire and Slayer.” He continued reading, hoping for enough proof for himself that he could be eased into the knowledge that Buffy’s child would be of the good and not evil. But as he read, a chill crept up his spine, and then the words that made his heart freeze in fear appeared on the page.

“Buffy,” he whispered.

***

He tossed a small rock over the side of the large crater that used to be Sunnydale, California. As he looked down into the abyss, he imagined where everything used to be. The school with that bloody awful basement, Buffy’s house, the crypt at Restfield. It was all gone now. But the memories were still there, alive and flickering in his mind.

Where was she? Where had she gone? He didn’t even know where to start looking, who to ask. He could try to get a hold of her, but what was he supposed to say if he did? He needed to see her. He needed to look into her eyes and see the same love that he’d seen the moment she’d told him. If that love wasn’t really there, he knew he couldn’t take it.

He lit a cigarette and took a long, slow drag, blowing out the stream of smoke gradually, thinking about what he’d say to her, the things he’d do to her. The things she could do to him to render him completely and utterly impervious to anything but her touch.

He ached for her touch. Just a short time ago, he’d have thought himself whipped, completely under her spell, but it hadn’t been too long ago that he’d realized that he didn’t mind. He would rather be with her and be a better man than be without her and lost. She was his reason for so many of the good things he’d done, and without her, somewhere deep inside, he feared he would be lost.

***

“We’re having a boy,” she said with tears in her eyes, as she stared at him. She was seated upon the bed, looking up at him as he looked down at her, a proud smile playing upon his lips. “He looks like you. He has your nose, anyway. I think he’s gonna have your eyes. I can’t tell, but I think they’ll be blue. Not just the kind of blue a newborn has, but I think…your blue.”

“A boy, huh?”

“Don’t say I told you so. You didn’t know.”

“’Course I did. Vampire.”

“Oh, so being a vampire gives you insight on our fetus now, does it?”

“Sure,” he said with a chuckle, as he knelt down in front of her, placing his hands upon her knees. Buffy rolled her eyes but reached out, gently caressing his cheek, feeling the sharp edge of his cheekbone as he placed his hand over hers, leaning into her touch.

“I miss you.”

“Me too. But I’m always with you. Here.” He placed his hand on her belly. “Our boy.”

“It’s not the same. It’s not you. I need you.”

“No you don’t. You’re a Slayer, luv. You don’t need me.”

“I do. I never really admitted it, but I do. I need you here, because it’s all…dark and scary. I’d rather have someone else…have you…here with me.”

“Things didn’t turn out the way I wanted, luv. If I had my way, I’d be holding you, watching you sleep every night, waking up to your kiss every morning.” He shook his head. “Sounds right nancy boy of me, dunn’it?”

“See, this is why nobody could see you for who you are. You’re not like this with anyone but me.”

“Gotta save the good stuff for my lady.”

“Yeah, but you could…you know, show them a little bit of this, couldn’t you? Maybe they wouldn’t be so quick to think you’re about to go all vampy and have them all as a main course in some sadistic buffet.” Spike furrowed his brows.

“You stay up all night thinking of that one?”

“No, it’s just…word vomit, I guess. I blame the baby. Your baby. Yep.”

“Oh this is my fault?”

“Well, yeah.”

“I guess it is partly, but I didn’t mean to.”

“I think you did. I think you wanted to see me get fat.”

“You’re not fat. You glow. I gotta admit, pregnant’s never looked so sexy on anybody before. Gets me all riled up. You always did that to me.” He moved to sit next to her on the bed, moving one hand up her thigh. She moaned softly, closing her eyes.

“Well, if you’re not bothered by the fact that I’m about as wide as the Hellmouth, then I won’t be bothered by the fact that you’re not really here.”

“Shh, don’t say that,” he breathed against her neck, gently nipping there. “Just let me touch you.”

“Spike…”

***

She sat up in her cold apartment, feeling her heart beating so fast she thought it might break through her chest. She felt tears sting her eyes remembering the words he’d sang to her. ‘If my heart could beat it would break my chest.’ God, it seemed like so long ago.

She got up and rushed over to the thermostat, adjusting the temperature, but it didn’t take long for her to realize that it was broken, and she was in for a long night of coldness. So, she managed to pull two extra blankets out of the closet and bundled up in those as she headed back to the bed. Laying down, she tried to force herself back to sleep, but her heart was still racing. Her skin tingled with the memory of his touch. It had been so real, her dream. As if he’d really been there.

Her thoughts were broken when her phone rang. She picked it up off of her nightstand and saw it was Giles. She sighed, preparing herself for another lecture that she just didn’t want to hear. Still, she answered.

“Giles?”

“Buffy.” His voice was low but shaky.

“Giles? What’s wrong?” She sat up, peering into the darkness as she listened to his frantic words.

“It’s about your son.”

“How…how did you know it’s a boy? I haven’t told anyone yet?”

“It’s written here. In the prophecy. It’s…it’s all here.”

“Giles, you..you’re scaring me. What prophecy?”

“There’s a book. I just received it today, and I hoped that it might help me figure out what’s going on…what may happen. They say to be careful what you wish for, isn’t that the saying?”

“Giles? Tell me. What does it say?”

“It says that the child of a vampire and a Slayer will come to be after Hell has threatened to rise. It says…it says the child will restore balance…the child of two natural enemies.”

“Okay. So…restoring balance. That’s good, right?”

“Buffy, there’s more.”

“Alright…I’m a big girl. Just tell me. And if you leave anything out, I swear I’ll…”

“The son of two powerful beings, mortal himself, will be protected and only brought forth by a death.”

“Someone’s going to die?” Her fingers started to go numb as she held the phone. “Who…Giles, what does it say? It’s…it’s Spike, right? He…he died the moment that…”

“No, Buffy. The death of the mother restores the balance.” He waited for her response, and when he got nothing, he continued. “Buffy, the prophecy says your death…your death will restore the balance that never should have been changed.”

“What…what are you talking about, Giles?”

“It will change everything Willow’s spell did, Buffy. The other slayers will lose their power, and the world will lose its last Slayer…you.”

Buffy hesitated to respond, but she made a small humming noise and then spoke up.

“I think the prophecy wasn’t prepared for a little something called Faith. You know, I died, Kendra became a Slayer. She died…poof, Faith.”

“Buffy, you’re missing the point. If you have this child, you’ll die.”

“No,” she said quickly.

“No? You’re just…waving it off as if…”

“I’m saying no, because we’ve dealt with prophecies before. There’s nothing in the prophecy that says this baby shouldn’t be born, is there?”

“I think the fact that you’re going to die would be a big indicator…”

“I’m not going to die, Giles. We’ll figure something out.”

“And how do you propose to do that?” Buffy chewed her bottom lip and then ran her fingers through her hair.


“I guess it’s time to give an old friend a call.”

Chapter 6

“Who’s coming?” Wesley asked with shock, as Angel paced back and forth in front of the desk.

“Buffy. She’ll be here. She said she had something important to tell me…to talk to me about.”

“And…what do you think that might be?”

“I don’t know. I…the last time we spoke, we were talking about relationships and…”

“And you think she’s coming here to tell you she wants you back?” Fred asked.

“No. She…she sounded serious.” He glanced up at her. “You think she wants me back?”

“Um, Angel, did you happen to mention Spike’s being…all corporeal again?” Gunn wondered. Angel cast him a glance. “She still doesn’t know he came back, does she?”

“Kind of slipped my mind.”

“Angel!” Fred scolded. “From the way Spike talks, he and Buffy were very close. She’d want to know…”

“Fred’s right,” Wesley said quickly. “How do you think Buffy will react when she learns that someone she lo—”

“Don’t say ‘loved,’” Angel interrupted.

“Someone she…cared about…is alive, and you didn’t tell her,” Wesley finished slowly.

“She sounded kinda upset on the phone. I didn’t want to upset her.”

“I think she’d be happy, Angel,” Fred said softly.

“What is it with the women around here? Always swooning over that bleached…”

“Hey, if you’d give him half a chance, you’d see he’s changed from whatever it is you used to know,” Fred defended. “All I can say is that you’d better have a good excuse when Buffy gets here. She deserves to know, and if you think you can woo her back, you’d better be honest with her, because maybe, just maybe, you’re not the only man she’s ever loved.” Fred turned and left quickly, casting a glance at Wesley, as if asking for backup after she left. He cleared his throat.

“Fred’s right, Angel. You do need to tell Buffy about Spike. You should be honest with her. I don’t think keeping something like this from her will have her swooning over you, do you?” Angel knew the right thing to do was to tell Buffy about Spike, but the first thing on his agenda was to help her with whatever it was she needed. She was more important than anything, and after it was all said and done…then he’d tell her about Spike.

“I’ll tell her. I just want to find out what she need. She’ll be here in a few hours. Please, just…don’t be here when she gets here. I want to talk to her alone.”

***

The flight had been uncomfortably long. She’d had to get up every twenty minutes to use the cramped plane bathrooms, and the baby wasn’t making it any easier on her by pressing his knee into her bladder just to make it a little more interesting.

Now, she was in a cab and on her way to downtown L.A. Wolfram and Hart was only blocks away. She’d never been inside the building before, and she’d hoped she never would have to. But now that Angel and his team were running it, it couldn’t be all that bad, right? Still, the thought of going in there and being surrounding by people that were mostly likely evil creeped her out just a little bit.

It wasn’t long before the cab pulled up in front of the tall building, and Buffy got out, stretching her arms and legs. She paid the driver, and he hurried off without a second glance in her direction. Placing her hand on her expanding stomach, she squinted upward at the towering building, wondering which window Angel might be looking out. She couldn’t even imagine the look on his face when he saw her in all of her pregnant glory for the first time. Then again, she was certain the look on his face when he found out that Spike was the father wouldn’t exactly be one of joy.

She took a deep breath and started inside, where she was gawked at by a few of the guards at the front door. They seemed to understand exactly who she was though, so they asked no questions. She felt a little like royalty, though she made a mental note to keep an eye on anyone who gave her a sideways glance. At Wolfram and Hart, nobody could be trusted. Deep inside, she wasn’t even certain she could trust Angel anymore. She wasn’t even sure what side he was even on these days.

“Oh my God. What are you doing here?” Buffy turned around at a familiarly annoying voice. Her eyes widened when she saw Harmony decked out in work clothes, carrying a file of papers and a mug of something that definitely wasn’t coffee.

“Um, I’m here to see Angel…what are you doing here?”

“Uh, hello? I work here,” Harmony replied. “Doesn’t Angel tell you anything?” She looked down at Buffy’s belly. “Well, it looks like he’s not the only one holding out on info!” She hurried over. “Ok, spill. Who’s the father? It’s not Xander Harris is it? I mean, ew.”

“Harmony, shut up. I need to see Angel. Where is he?”

“Twenty-third floor,” Harmony replied. “Oh, and don’t think that just because you’re back he’s going to come running back to you. Ever since…well…he’s been looking at me. He might be all hung up on you and everything right now, but he’ll know what he’s missing soon enough.” Buffy stared at Harmony, a dumbstruck look upon her face. Deciding that the blonde vampire had no idea what she was talking about, she headed to the elevators, pressed the button, and got on, only to come face to face with a green demon. She ran right into him, making him spill his coffee.

“Whoa! Hey Sunshine, watch where you’re walking, will ya?” He looked into the lovely green eyes of the Slayer and immediately realized from pictures he’d seen, that this was the woman Angel had pined over for so many years. “Oh, you’re Buffy, aren’t you?”

“Who are you?” Buffy said a bit nervously.

“You want my full name? Well, that’d make for a long lunch. The short of it is…hi, I’m Lorne. I manage the Entertainment department here. You’re here to see Angel? And whoa, I’d say you have some news for him alright.”

“Uh, yeah,” Buffy said nervously. “I need his help. Mystical pregnancies…they’re not exactly common to me. I mean…I know he’s dealt with it before…with Cordelia. Only, my baby’s human…and I’m still not quite sure what Cordelia’s were. Anyway, um, have you seen him?”

“He’s waiting on you. Cleared out most of the people on the twenty-third floor. I think…well, you better be prepared for some questions, because I don’t think this upcoming bundle is one of joy for the big guy.”

“Yeah…thanks,” Buffy said, feeling even more discouraged. The elevator stopped on floor three, and Buffy stepped off. Lorne smiled, giving her a thumbs up.

“Good luck.” Buffy gave a nod to the demon and headed down the hall toward the large doors that led to what she could only assume was Angel’s office.

“I can do this. I’m the Slayer. I’m tough. I can…I can.” She suddenly felt like she was putting herself in the shoes of the little engine that could, so finally, she just hurried up to the door, turned the handle, and let herself in.

He was looking out the window, staring out over the skyscrapers. It was strange to see him bathed in sunlight. She was so used to him hiding in the shadows in the day and walking around at night.

She didn’t know what to say. Hello didn’t seem right. She just couldn’t find the words. They were frozen inside of her, and her breath was caught. She wasn’t sure words were even necessary. She knew he knew she was there. Vampires had great hearing, after all.

“Buffy.” He turned, expecting to see her beautiful face. He wasn’t disappointed, but he immediately saw the swell of her belly, and his heart dropped. “Buffy?”

“Surprised?”

“Um…yeah. I…I’m…confused.”

“This is what I need your help with.” Buffy closed the doors, and Angel ushered her over to a comfortable chair. She sat down a little slowly. She might have been the Slayer, but this Slayer’s back was killing her.

“What…what…I don’t…understand.”

“Neither do I, some of the time. Other times, I know this is meant to be. But…well, Giles found out about a prophecy.” Angel practically shuddered at the term. Prophecies…his world seemed to be surrounded by them at all times.

“What’d it say?”

“Oh, you know, it’s mysterious, something about restoring a balance. Oh and, apparently, for that balance to be restored, I have to die.” Angel didn’t move. “Aren’t you going to tell me it’s not worth it? I shouldn’t have this baby? A little too late for that. He’ll be here in a few months.”

“He.”

“My son,” she said quietly. She watched Angel wince as if physically wounded. “Angel?”

“You’re having a son.”

“Yeah. And…you’re the only person I knew to go to. I hate to ask for help from anybody at Wolfram and Hart, but I’m sure you’re linked to something that speaks of the prophecy. Right?”

“I can check. I’m sure there’s something.” He got up, unable to look at her. “What did it say? About the baby’s origins?”

“That’s no mystery,” Buffy said quietly.

“You…you know who the father is?”

“It’s mystical, but I know how…” Angel closed his eyes, preparing himself for the words he knew were coming. “When the amulet triggered, Spike and I joined hands, and…and something happened. Next thing I knew, Spike was gone, and shortly thereafter, I found out I was pregnant.”

“Spike’s the…” He began to pace again, thinking of prophecies, sons, fathers, Buffy.

“The child of two natural enemies. A Slayer and a vampire. Only, the prophecy writers didn’t really count on me falling in love with my enemy.” Angel spun around. Buffy froze, not believing she’d said the words aloud. To him.

“So you were in love with him.”

“Angel…” She sighed heavily. “Can we just…stay on track here? Spike’s gone, and I’ve started to accept that. I just have to figure out how to bring this baby into the world and, well, still be able to stay here and make sure he’s safe.” Tears stung her eyes. “I don’t want to die, Angel. This baby’s all I have left of Spike, and I want to be there…” Each word stung like a knife ripping through his flesh. She really was in love with Spike. She was in love with the memory of Spike, and now Angel had to be the stand up guy and tell her that the vampire she loved really was alive, and he was searching for her.

“Buffy, you need to know something. I…I don’t know how to say it.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure nothing’s going to surprise me as much as this last prophecy. You know, I am prophecy girl. I should be used to be it by now. Lay it on me. What’s going on?”

“It’s about Spike.” Then it hit him. Spike. The amulet. Angel thought back to his wonderings about why he’d been given the amulet. He had been meant to wear it, but Spike had taken his place. Had Spike not been the one in the Hellmouth that day, he very well could have been the father of the child Buffy carried. It wouldn’t have surprised him in the least. First Connor, then this. The child of a vampire is an impossibility, but here was Buffy, pregnant with the human child created mystically between her and Spike.

“I know what you’re going to say. You think that because of who Spike was, the baby might be…well…no. No, you’re wrong. You didn’t see the way he changed, Angel. He was a good man. He saw it out to the end. He saved the world.”

“Yeah, so I’ve heard, about three hundred times.”

“What?” Buffy wrinkled her brow and gently patted her stomach to try to ease the baby out of his kicking spree.

“You’re not gonna believe this, so just…just stay where you are. Sitting’s probably the best position for you right now.”

“Angel, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

“A little over five months ago…well, I got a package in the mail. I didn’t know who it was from, and I didn’t know what it was, but when I got around to opening it…it was…it was the amulet.” Buffy felt her heart jump up into her throat.

“What? How can that be? It was…it was in the Hellmouth.”

“Yeah. When I released the amulet…it…well…it wasn’t exactly alone.”

“What? Angel…”

“Spike…it was…Spike. He came back.” Buffy stood quickly.

“What?! Angel, what are you doing? Is this some…some way of trying to pay me back for Spike…”

“I’m telling you the truth, Buffy. He came back. He…he didn’t want to contact you, because he didn’t want you to see him like he was. He didn’t know if he was here to stay…and…and we all agreed not to tell you.”

“Oh, so the man I’ve been grieving for these past six months comes back and nobody has the decency to tell me?!”

“Aren’t you listening? He didn’t want you to know. He wanted to tell you in his own way, but he wanted to wait until he was really back. And that didn’t happen until recently.”

“So, Spike’s alive again?”

“Spike’s…still a vampire, if that’s what you mean. But he’s not a ghost anymore. He’s…he’s really back.” Buffy let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. She sunk back into the chair, her heart pounding wildly, her cheeks flushing with both anger and disbelief.

“Where is he?”

“I don’t…”

“Tell me where he is!”

“I don’t know!” Angel exclaimed. “We thought you were going to Europe…so for all I know he’s on his way there.”

“Can you call him?”

“No. He doesn’t have a phone. Only way to talk to him is if he calls here, and he didn’t exactly leave with a farewell party.” Shaking her head, Buffy stood up again.

“This is too much. I can’t…I just can’t. I…no. This isn’t happening.” She started to pace, and Angel watched her with uncertainty and concern heavily present in his dark eyes.

“Sit down. You need to rest.”

“Rest? You expect me to just sit down and be all ‘la la la’ and relax after telling me that the man I love…the father of my child is alive, and he’s out there looking for me right now?! Great. Thanks. I think I can manage that.” Apparently she’d gotten really good at sarcasm over the years.

“Buffy…”

“No. No. I can’t deal with this right now.” She turned and fled the office, and it took Angel a moment to compose his emotions long enough to run after her. He caught up with her at the elevator.

“Buffy, please, just…just wait.”

“Nobody told me, Angel!”

“Spike didn’t want you to know! He didn’t want you to know he was back but not really…back. Now he is, and he’s looking for you.”

“And he’s probably roaming around Europe somewhere. I guess it is partly my fault. I didn’t exactly have Willow explain that I wasn’t going either.” She shook her head, running her fingers through her hair. “It’s too much.” She placed her hands on her stomach. “Spike dying…this baby…now he’s back. I don’t understand.”

“Nobody really does, but I’ll have somebody look into it. You and the baby are safe here, and you’re free to stay as long as you like.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“Buffy, you’re a Slayer pregnant by a vampire in Los Angeles. We deal with some of the most evil forces imaginable every day, and we’re still standing. You’d be safe here. Safer than out there.” Buffy knew he was right. She knew that she’d be better protected from the demons looking for a quick buck if she stayed in their fortress of…what was it, not-so-evil anymore evil? It was too much to take in, but she knew she’d rather not have to run and fight demons for once. She wanted to rest and think about everything. Spike was back. He was alive. He was looking for her. And she had no idea what was going to happen when he found her, but the anxiety building up inside of her was already getting to her. It hurt to know he was out there and she hadn’t known. She wasn’t with him.

Fred yawned as she finished putting away the equipment and materials used that day. Wesley was taking her out to dinner, since Angel had instructed them to stay away for most of the evening. She didn’t know what was going on with Buffy, but it was certain to be emotional. Especially considering the little tidbit of news Lorne had expressed. The vampire slayer was pregnant, and Spike was the father.

Cordell, one of the newer assistants in the lab, came walking in.

“Fred? It’s ok if I call you Fred, right?”

“It’s fine, Cordell. What’s wrong?”

“Phone call from you. Some British guy…sounds like Spike?” Fred’s eyes widened, and her heart leapt into her throat. Was she supposed to tell him Buffy was there? Certainly he’d want to know about the baby. But was it really her place to say? What would Angel think?

“Um. Ok. Thanks.” She waved Cordell into the other room, indicating this would be a private call, and she picked up the phone. “Spike?”

“Hello, pet. How are things around the Wolf, Ram, and Hart?”

“Interesting. Um, where are you?”

“An airport in New York. Got a lead she might be there, but no luck. I’m getting ready to head to London, see I can get some information out of the watcher.”

“Oh.”

“What’s wrong? You aren’t your normally chatty self.”

“I don’t know how to tell you this, Spike. Just…don’t…don’t go to London.”

“Why not?”

“Because you won’t find Buffy there. Buffy’s…well, she’s here.”

“What?”

“She’s with Angel right now…she came to him for help. Spike…you need to know something…” But the phone line went dead before she could say. “Spike?” Nothing. Sighing, she hung up the phone, and she knew things were about to get a whole lot crazier.

Chapter 7

“Thanks,” Buffy murmured, as she took the cup of hot chocolate into her hands. She blew over the top, sending tendrils of steam rolling off like mist off of a lake. She closed her eyes, inhaling the scent of chocolate, sparking the memory of Spike sitting in her kitchen drinking some of Joyce’s famous hot chocolate. Of course, moments later, Buffy had had him on his back on the counter, threatening to stake him. Still, she smiled at the thought of the big, bad vampire asking for mini marshmallows for his cup of cocoa.

“You feeling better?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I guess so. I mean…Spike’s alive.”

“Well, no more than he was before.”

“I know,” Buffy replied. “I don’t…I don’t know what to say to him, Angel.”

“I can’t help you there,” Angel replied. Buffy nodded, understanding that hearing her talk about her feelings for Spike wasn’t easy for him.

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do. About him, I mean.” She looked down at her stomach. “I’m terrified.”

“Of him?”

“Of me. Of being a mom. My mom was the best mom I knew. And when I tried to be a mom to Dawn, I failed miserably.”

“Doesn’t mean you will this time,” Angel replied.

“No, because according to the prophecy, I’m gonna die before I get the chance to be his mother.”

“That won’t happen. I won’t let it.” He reached over, placing his hand over hers. She felt the chill of his touch, and she closed her eyes, remembering the way Spike’s cool touch could feel so warm at the same time.

Her eyes flew open, and she pulled her hand away.

“Sorry,” Angel said gently.

“No, it’s…it’s ok.” She sighed heavily. “I just wish I could relax for once. Ever since I found out about the baby, I’ve been worried. I’ve been figuring out ways to fight and keep the baby safe at the same time. It’s getting harder to do.” She shook her head. “But if the prophecy’s true, then all the girls Willow turned into slayers will lose their power, and I’ll die. Who’s gonna be here to fix things? There’s Faith, but...can she do it on her own?”

“She won’t have to. Buffy, you’re not gonna die. We will figure this out.” She shook her head. “Prophecies aren’t always what they seem.”

“But this is the first time we’ve ever had to deal with something like this. I mean…the son of a vampire?” She saw him draw away again, his eyes darken. “This isn’t natural, Angel. We both know that. But that doesn’t mean this child doesn’t deserve some sort of a life. A good life.” She sighed, shaking her head. “We’re in uncharted territory here.”

“Not exactly,” Angel murmured. Buffy glanced at him curiously.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing. I…” She knew the tone in his voice. It was a tone that said he didn’t want to talk about it but he knew something she didn’t. She also knew that he wanted to get it off of his chest, but he couldn’t find a way to put it into words. So, she scooted to the edge of the chair and reached over, taking his hand in hers. Despite the things that had transpired between them, he was still the first man she’d fallen in love with.

“Angel.”

“I can’t talk about it. It’s not…”

“Hey…”

“No. It’s too…I’m not supposed to…”

“Angel, whatever it is…” Angel looked into her eyes. He saw something there, something that devastated him. She was no longer his. The look in her eyes was one he’d heard hurt more than hate. It was one of understanding; of friendship. But not of love. She no longer looked at him with the eyes of a teenage girl, innocent and excited by his mysteriousness. She’d grown into a woman, a mother, a powerful warrior. And she was going through something completely unheard of. Only, it wasn’t to him.

“I have a son.” He winced at his folly. “Had.” Buffy’s eyes widened, but she didn’t take her hand from his. “His name was Connor.” He smiled a little at the memory of those cherub cheeks and that sweet little smile.

“How?”

“There was a prophecy,” he said with a shake of his head. “Long story short, Wesley took him, thinking it would protect us both, and an enemy of mine…he took him and raised him as his own in another dimension.”

“Angel…”

“When he came back, he hated me. He hated everything I was, and I tried to help him, but there was no saving him, Buffy.”

“Oh God…”

“That’s why I’m here. I made a deal with the senior partners. They wanted me to take over Wolfram and Hart, and I told them I would on one condition. They had to change Connor’s memories. Give him a family that would love him. Make sure he wouldn’t remember the things he’d done…the way he was hurting and how he hurt other people.”

“That must have been terrible,” she breathed. “The others? Do they know?”

“They don’t remember. I’m the only one that remembers.” He shook his head. “It has to stay that way.”

“I understand. I…I won’t say anything.”

“The prophecy was that the father would kill the son, Buffy.” He looked up into her eyes. “Now you know that there is a way to stop this.” Buffy slowly nodded, believing him fully. She squeezed his hand.

“We will,” she said quietly. “We will.”

***

She lay awake, unable to even suppress a yawn. She was completely alert, despite her body’s exhaustion. She couldn’t stop thinking about where Spike might be, what he was doing. And there was no way of finding him. Of telling him he was going to have a son.

Shaking her head, she rubbed her temples. What was he going to think to see her like this? From everything he knew, vampires could only be sires, not true fathers. What would he think? She knew Spike, and she knew he’d jump to some conclusion, go off the deep end, and it would be a long, drawn out fight just to convince him that he was the father, even if it seemed impossible.

Buffy was completely on the alert, and her chest was aching from stress and the need to see him again. She just couldn’t lie around and wait for him to come to her, could she? But she couldn’t go out there in the world searching for him, while the future of her own life and her child’s were so uncertain.

She pulled herself out of bed and headed over to the balcony door. She threw it open and stepped outside. The breeze was cool, and she pulled her robe around herself tightly. She stared out over the city, listening to the faint sound of car horns and sirens over thirty stories below.

“Where are you?” she whispered, as if the wind would carry her whisper from her lips to his ears. She sighed heavily, feeling a sinking in her chest. Her heart should be alive with joy at the news of his return, but instead, she felt increasingly grief-stricken, knowing he was back and yet she was only now finding out. She understood his reasoning for not telling her, but at the same time, she felt as if he’d taken something away from her. Was he that much of a dope that he truly believed she didn’t really love him?

She turned and walked back into the room to glance at the clock. It was only eleven. Pondering her actions for a moment, she finally sat back down on the bed and picked up her phone. Dialing the numbers carefully, she sunk back into the pillows and waited for that familiar voice.

“Hello?”

“Xander?”

“Buff! Hey! How are you?”

“I’m…I’m ok. Just trying to go to sleep.”

“Something wrong?”

“I have a lot on my mind.”

“Like what?”

“Long story short?”

“Please. I’ve been listening to the Buffybot tell stories of your life in full detail. She’s even drawing diagrams.” He heard a giggle from Buffy on the other end, and it was like music to his ears. “See, it can’t be that bad. I got a laugh out of you.”

“It’s not bad. It’s good. Well, you won’t think so. But that’s why I called.”

“Explainy?”

“Well,” Buffy said quietly, “Spike’s back.”

“What?”

“Yeah, don’t ask me how, but he is. First he was a ghost, and now, well, he’s not.”

“Okay…”

“I haven’t seen him. I don’t even know where he is. I just found out, and…well, apparently he’s looking for me.”

“Well if he ends up here, I’ll…”

“I don’t think he will, Xander,” Buffy said quietly. “I’m just confused. I want to be mad at him for not letting me know. Not letting the others tell me. Of course, they’re partly responsible. They have mouths, and they were corporeal when he wasn’t. They could have…”

“You weren’t exactly the easiest person to find, Buffy. Remember, going off to find Slayers and kick demon butt in the Big Apple?”

“Yeah,” Buffy muttered. “Still…I feel like I should be angry, but I’m more…upset than anything. So, I need you to give me a reason to be mad at him.”

“Oh, then you’ve called the right man, my friend.” He cleared his throat. “Let’s see. Okay. Well, for starters, he’s tried to kill you how many times?”

“That was before the soul, Xander.”

“Oh. So we’re just doing after-soul stuff?”

“Yes.”

“Well…he beat up Robin.”

“Robin tried to kill him.”

“Well, he…he said he’d kill him if he attacked him again.”

“And I told Robin I’d let Spike kill him.”

“Oh. Uh, well, he…he stayed in your house for months, and did he pay one single bill?” Buffy sighed heavily. “He did make you buy Wheatabix and went through a box a week. Oh, and waking up every morning to find a coffee mug with dried blood in the bottom? Guhh!” Silence on the other end. “Is it working? You’re not even annoyed?”

“Not really. I mean, I can’t blame him about the blood. I mean, vampire. And he says the Wheatabix makes it taste better. If I had to drink blood for the rest of my life, I’d try some new recipes too.” Buffy cringed at that sentence. “And it’s not like any of the companies we owed money too were still in town toward the end. Nobody wanted to be near the Hellmouth, with good reason, too.”

“Well, I don’t know what to tell ya, Buffy. Believe me, I want more than anyone, for you to be mad at Spike, but I can’t make you mad at him. Maybe wait until you see his face, and then you can tell him…”

“How much it hurt when he left?”

“You could punch him in the nose a couple of times…for me?”

“I’ll think about it,” Buffy mused. She sighed and shook her head. “Sorry if I bothered you.”

“Hey, I’m never too busy for you, Buffy. Don’t forget that.”

“Thanks. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yep. Good luck at getting mad at Captain Peroxide.”

“Good luck with the Buffybot. Hope she doesn’t short circuit on you.” After another few goodbyes, Buffy finally hung up, and she listened to the sound of wind rattling the bullet-proof, and vampire-protective windows, and she wondered where Spike was and what he was doing. She only hoped that he was still the same man she’d had to say goodbye to. She hoped he was still fighting for the good cause and wasn’t taking this new chance in life to revert to his former ways.

In her heart, she knew he never could. He had a soul now. Still, it worried her that he might have been tempted with her not being in his life anymore. With a shake of her head, she decided that she had more faith in him than that. He was good, and they would be reunited in time. She only hoped it was sooner rather than later.

Chapter 8

Sunrise was an hour away, and Spike was still sitting on the airplane that was making its way across the American skies and closer to his Slayer. But because of an unexpected delay, it was quite possible that the plane might not get in until just after sunset, and then, Spike knew, he was in for a world of pain. Luckily, he’d remembered his trusty blanket just in case. Still, the idea of the sun on his face wasn’t as bad as that of getting to Buffy and having her rejecting him, or worse. He knew that if she turned her back on him, it’d hurt worse than any ray of sun or wooden stake ever could. But he had to stiffen up. He couldn’t show her how much power she had over him, because then he’d be under her spell for the rest of eternity. That didn’t seem so bad, really.

He sighed and leaned back against the seat. He wanted her like he’d wanted no other before. Just the thought of her and her soft, pink lips made him harden on the spot. If he cared, it would be rather embarrassing, but after living over a hundred years not caring about what humans thought of him in any state, he was only mildly embarrassed by the sudden bulge in his jeans.

“Attention fliers, this is your captain speaking. We’ll be landing at L.A.X. in approximately twenty minutes…” If Spike’s heart had been beating, it would have pounded through his sternum and taken a flying leap around the coach compartment of the airplane. He gripped the armrests of his seat, and he closed his eyes, thinking about what was about to happen. He was going to see her for the first time in months. He was going to look into the last pair of eyes he’d looked at and seen true love for him. Her. His Slayer.

***

“Angel?” Fred asked, knocking on the early riser’s office door. Sunrise wasn’t too far away, and since business started early, she figured she’d drop off his morning’s blood before Harmony screwed it up in the employee lounge. “Morning blood?”

“I have a secretary to get me that,” he said quietly. “But thanks.” She smiled and placed it down on his desk a little nervously. “What’d you do?”

“Can’t I bring my good friend his morning blood without having done something?” He glanced at her skeptically, and she sighed. “It’s like you see right through me. Alright, I sort of told Spike about…about Buffy being here.”

“You what?” Angel asked, a little less angrily than she’d expected. He was still seated.

“He called, and I couldn’t just not say anything. Who knows when he’d call again.” Angel sighed and rubbed his temples. The headaches that always seemed to come on strong when Spike was around were already beginning.

“It’s alright, Fred. Gotta get this over with sooner or later.”

“Get what over with? You know…and I don’t mean this to sound like it does, but it doesn’t really involve you, does it? I mean, she came to you for help, but Spike’s the father. You know, he’s important to her.”

“Yeah,” Angel said, feeling suddenly useless. “But she did come to me. And something tells me Spike’s not gonna have a clue about the prophecy. Something also tells me that as much of an idiot he can be, he’s not going to want to sit around and wait for the prophecy to come true. He might be a selfish bastard, but he won’t want to see Buffy die. Not when he’s just come back.”

“Not at all. Look, Spike might be a little…”

“Annoying,” Angel said pointedly.

“Well, I suppose, but he’s got a good heart.”

“His heart doesn’t even beat!”

“Neither does yours,” Fred pointed out. Angel sighed. She had him there. “You both have souls, so what makes him so bad? You were both vampires once, and I don’t mean to sound so harsh, but you’ve both done some pretty terrible things. So now that he has a soul…”

“Alright, Fred. You made your point.” Angel knew there was no convincing her that Spike was the wrong kind of guy to side with. Though, he had helped them through some tight situations in the past few months, the fact that he’d constantly been there as a reminder of what Buffy had lowered herself to had always been there in front of Angel’s face. How could she see anything in Spike? How could she ever… Then he had to remind himself that he’d left. He’d let her go, and she was free to make her own decisions. But…why Spike?

***

Spike had managed to make his way to the safety of a quiet house just on the outskirts of town before the sun came up. He pulled the curtains closed and decided to make himself at home until the sun went down. He couldn’t wait to see her again. The fact that he was so close, yet he couldn’t get to her was killing him. Well, if it was even possible to strengthen his status as the living dead.

As he made his way through the house, he saw pictures of children lining the walls. They looked rather recent. A thin coating of dust lined the shelves and table tops. Family must be on vacation, he thought. And then it hit him. If a family still lived here, they had a phone. A phone meant he could get to Buffy; meant he could see her sooner than he’d though.

His entire being tensed up at the thought of seeing her again, but that anxiety was nothing in comparison to the elation he felt at knowing his Slayer was going to be in his arms again.

“No, you ponce,” he breathed to himself. “Don’t think that.” Just because she’d said it didn’t make it true anymore. No, he couldn’t get his hopes up. He couldn’t expect one thing and have it thrown back in his face. He had to wait and see.

He found a phone hanging on the wall next to the refrigerator and picked it up. Hearing the dial tone, he let out an unnecessary breath and dialed the number. Within moments, a cheery voice answered.

“Wolfram and Hart. This is Harmony, how can I help you?”

“Harm, it’s me.”

“Spikey? I mean…Spike? What do you want?” He had to admit it was kind of adorable when she tried to act mad at him. Yeah, he’d treated her terribly, but now he was having a hell of an amusing time wondering just how Angel kept around a soulless vampire who was less annoying in life.

“I need to talk to Buffy.”

“Well she’s not here. She’s sleeping or something. Angel doesn’t want her disturbed.”

“Course he doesn’t,” Spike said with a shake of his head. “Well, you’ll get a message to her for me, won’t you, luv?”

“What makes you think I’m gonna help you? Just because we had sex years ago doesn’t mean I owe you anything.”

“No, no of course not. But I know you’ll help me. You wanna know why?”

“Why?”

“Because if you don’t, I might just have to tell Angel about that little slip up you had a month ago, where you bit that accountant and nearly drained him…”

“What? That never happened!” she exclaimed angrily.

“Who do you think he’s going to believe, Harm? Sure, we both annoy the hell out of him, but let’s see, I have a soul, and you don’t. Oh, and you do seem to have a seething hatred for the Slayer. One which I don’t have.”

“Yeah, but you’re the only one that wants to get into the Slayer’s pants.”

“Yeah? But I think he’d rather have her shagging me than dead, don’t you?”

“Ugh! Fine! This is so blackmail! And it’s fake blackmail, because I didn’t do anything!” She sighed, knowing Spike was right. Angel would never believe her, even if he couldn’t stand Spike. “Alright. Fine. What’s the message?”

***

Buffy stepped out of the shower and toweled off. She examined her figure in the full length mirror, placing her hand against her pale, bulging belly. Reaching into her bag, she found the cream her doctor had recommended to minimize the appearance of stretch marks. She wondered if being a Slayer gave her the ability to bounce back after the birth. She figured not, since most Slayers never lived long enough to be mothers. Still, she was a little curious to find out.

She applied to cold cream, and when it was dry, she finished dressing, applied just a touch of makeup and pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail. She looked good, except, she noticed, her eyes were a little glazed over. She knew it was because while she had slept, she’d been a little restless, and she’d mostly dreamed of him.

She pulled on her shoes. They were sneakers, nothing stylish yet affordable. Her feet hurt too bad to wear those anymore.

She checked her phone for any messages, and she was disappointed to find nothing except a silly pix message from Dawn. She and Andrew had been sightseeing, and the picture came with a message that said “wish you were here.” Buffy smiled, but that quickly turned into a frown, as she realized just how much she missed her friends and her sister.

She was in L.A. with Angel, yet she felt so alone. He was a friend, yes, but things were so different now. Everything had changed, and while not much longer than a year ago, she’d have gladly taken comfort in his arms after her life had fallen to pieces, things between them had changed. She looked at him and felt love for him, but it wasn’t like it used to be. Nothing had been after she’d seen the man Spike had become.

A knock on the apartment door startled Buffy, but she got up and made her way to the door, where she was surprised to find Harmony.

“Don’t worry, I can’t come in. I know, you’d think that at a place like this…well, anyway…”

“What do you want, Harmony?”

“I have a message for you,” Harmony scoffed. “Geez, you don’t have to be so rude.” Buffy fought the urge to roll her eyes and rub her temples. Harmony always gave her quite a headache. Why hadn’t she staked her long ago?

“Okay. What is it?”

“Here,” Harmony said quickly. “I have other messages to deliver. Geez, I can’t stick around all day.” She roughly handed the folded up piece of paper to the Slayer and flounced off to do whatever it was she did during her work day.

Buffy closed the door and frowned as she unfolded the piece of paper. She didn’t quite believe her eyes as she read Harmony’s flower handwriting.

“Spike called. 1395 Wilshire Blvd. Meet ASAP.” She first tried to convince herself that this was some cruel trick played by Harmony, but she’d come to realize that Harmony enjoyed her job at Wolfram and Hart, and if this was some sort of a set up, Angel would have her out on the street at high noon as soon as he got word.

This was real. He was here. And he was waiting for her.

“Oh my God.”

Chapter 9

Having not had time to explain herself, Buffy had rushed by Angel’s office, told him she needed a car, and he pointed her in the direction of the parking garage, hollering after her, asking if she wanted him to drive. But she was already out of earshot.

She wasn’t the best driver, but she knew she wanted to do this on her own. She needed this time by herself to gather her thoughts, and she didn’t exactly want Angel there when she saw Spike for the very first time since Sunnydale. No, she needed Spike as his genuine self. She had to see him; know it was truly real.

Her hands gripped the wheel so tightly that her knuckles turned a whitish hue.

“Breathe, Buffy. It’s Spike. You know Spike. You love him.” It still sounded strange to hear those words from her own lips. It didn’t feel strange, but the sound…she’d never thought she’d hear herself say those words about him before. “You love Spike.” She was going to have to get used to it.

Oh God. The thought suddenly occurred to her that maybe he didn’t want her. Maybe now that he was back, he didn’t want her in his life. Maybe the excuse of not wanting her to see him as a ghost was just a smokescreen. Maybe…

“Ok, who are you kidding?” she muttered. “Spike loves me. I know he does.” Deciding that talking to herself wasn’t exactly making her feel any better, she turned on the radio and let the music wash over her.

She couldn’t help but smile a little when the first lyrics out of the speakers were “I wanna be sedated.” She thought of her first unofficial date with Spike, where he’d led her to the hideout of two very messy vampires, offered her a flask, and even attempted casual cool by spouting off those very lyrics. She’d been disturbed by it all back then, but thinking back on it, she knew that he had loved her then. Not in the way he loved her later, but in his own way, he did.

She glanced down at the piece of paper, saying the address over and over again in her head. She squinted into the sun, feeling beads of sweat surfacing upon her forehead. She quickly cranked up the air conditioner and settled back against the seat, her foot heavy on the gas, as she prayed no cops were around.

She felt a little nudge against her side, and she placed her hand there, softly rubbing the mildly protruding spot, acknowledging her son’s presence.

“How am I gonna explain you to him?”

***

He wasn’t one for sentiment most of the time, but as he stared at the family pictures that lined the walls, he began to wonder what it might be like if things were different. If he were different. If he could be a real man and give Buffy the life she deserved. Sunshine, picnics in the afternoon, trips to the beach, two-point-five kids and a mini-van for toting them to football practice.

Who was he kidding? No matter how he felt about her, or how she felt about him for that matter, they would never have the kind of a life two people in love were supposed to have. He wasn’t even supposed to be able to love. He was a demon. A monster. A creature of the night. With a soul. And that made all the difference these days, it seemed. Still, even Angel could play evil with the best of them when he had to. It frightened Spike to think that he could become worse than that.

Still, he had wanted that soul. He’d fought for it. Earned it. Fair and square. For her. And she’d seen that. She had accepted that. And over time, she had loved him for it.

The sound of a car approaching sent Spike’s entire body into that medium between pure anxiety and perfect readiness. He was ready to see her, but he was terrified of what would happen when the dust settled from their impending reunion.

But as the sound of the car continued on past the drive, he settled down onto the leather couch. He looked around at the furniture. Whoever owned this place had taste. The couch was comfortable, but he couldn’t quite see it as being the couch of a family with two sticky handed kids. Must be good disciplinarians, he thought.

The minutes ticked by loudly from the clock on the mantle, and just as Spike began to think he couldn’t take anymore waiting, he heard a car approach, slow, and turn into the gravel drive. The crunch of the little rocks beneath the hot tires sent him flying off of the couch, uncertain of what to do. Should he just stay there, be standing, waiting for her when she walked in? Should he play it casual, pretend like he hadn’t been waiting for this moment since he first came back from wherever-the-hell?

He couldn’t very well welcome her at the door with a hug and a kiss. Aside from the fact that he’d burst into flames, he couldn’t exactly see her doing a running leap into his arms. More than likely, he’d have a running fist into his face and then suffer through an hour of her telling him how angry she was, how he was an idiot, and then it would end one of two ways. She’d walk out, crushing him completely with her absence, or they’d wake up two hours later on the staircase landing, having missed the bed by several feet and be bruised, sore, and satisfied.

The doorknob on the front door turned, and he froze, eyes fixated on the glimmer of the handle. He wanted to do something to make himself look slightly less pathetic, standing there, waiting for her, but he couldn’t blink, let alone make any grand gesture.

Her fingers shook as she opened the door. It was unlocked. He’d unlocked it. Plus, a window in one of the panels on the door was busted out. Yes, this was Spike’s work. He was inside. Waiting.

She looked down at her belly, and she realized that she just couldn’t spring this on him like this. So, she quickly buttoned up her coat. If anything, she’d just look like she’d packed on a good twenty pounds since they’d last met. That was a little easier to explain than “Spike, I can’t believe you’re back! What? This? Oh, yeah, I’m pregnant. And you’re the father. Cigar?”

The moment the door opened, she had to peer into the darkness of the house. Coming in from the bright, California sun was always a little disorienting at first.

But the moment her eyes adjusted, she saw first the bright blondness of his hair and then the piercing azure of his eyes, and then every angry word she’d imagined herself saying to him completely flew out the window. God, how could she be angry with him when he was staring at her, his eyes full of concern, longing, love.

If was holding his breath, unnecessarily, of course, but it was a common occurrence when he thought of her lately. But seeing her was so much more. At first, he wondered if perhaps she were a mirage. He was thirsty for her presence, and now she appeared before him, granting him a rare glimpse at what he wanted most. But when he saw the sparkle of tears in her eyes, he knew.

The door latched into place with a definitive click, and Buffy’s hand remained on the knob. She was going to run. Was she going to even speak first, he wondered. He couldn’t take his eyes off of hers. The sea green orbs he’d looked into last were still as gorgeous as ever, if not a little darkened by months of grief and, of course, worrying about what big bad was going to come next. How much worse was it going to get, after The First?

“Slayer,” he whispered. “Buffy. You’re here?” He took a step closer, and he wondered if she’d back away. She didn’t. Her eyes unlocked from his gaze and she looked him up and down. Not a trace of a burn. Not a blemish. Only the faint scar on his eyebrow. One she’d kissed a dozen times in the wee hours of the morning, when he’d fallen fast asleep, assuming she’d fallen to dreams as well.

“You’re here?” she echoed. He couldn’t tell if she was going to laugh, cry, or throw a spike at him, concealed in that dark, black coat. He raised an eyebrow. She’d certainly picked up some of his style, hadn’t she?

“I’m here, luv. I’m just…not certain you are.”

“I am,” she said softly. “I’m here…with you.” His thoughts flew back to one night in particular.

“Were you there with me?”

“I was.”

“You are,” he said with a nod and a subtle smile. “I…I don’t know what to say to you. I had a hundred scenarios lined up. I had a hundred different responses lined up for whatever you had to shell out to me. But…I can’t think of any of them right now.” He saw her lower lip trembling, and he saw her look away for only a moment to try to keep her composure. Was this really happening? Was Buffy…was the vampire slayer about to get teary-eyed over her dead lover’s return from the ashes? In a moment, his question was answered. Yes she was.

Her hand flew to her mouth, and she let out a repressed sob, and the tears came next. Spike, stunned into even further stillness, only looked on, as she leaned against the door, her free hand at her chest, as she bent forward just a little, catching her breath.

What was he supposed to do? Reach out for her? Hug her? Tell her he’d never leave her? Tell her he was there for good. Was that even true? Would she want him for good? They couldn’t be together for eternity. Only as long as she was meant to live.

“Buffy,” he said softly, reaching out slowly to stroke her cheek. She shook her head, but she didn’t pull away, as she yearned for final confirmation that he was here, and she received that in his cool touch. A touch that could still manage to send heat coursing through her body, blood pumping faster from her heart and to every extremity, making her tremble all over.

Feeling the warm flow of her tears bathing his fingertips was almost too much. He wanted to grab her and hold her and tell her how much he’d missed her. Tell her what a bloody fool he was for not contacting her sooner; for not saying what he should have.

“I’m sorry, luv,” he whispered. “Don’t cry on account of me.”

“I can’t help it,” she sniffled. “You don’t understand.” He cupped her face with his hands, and he stood so close to her, close enough that he could feel her warm breath on his lips. He wanted to kiss her, but he didn’t want to frighten her. Not anymore. Three years ago, hell, even two, he’d have pranced around like a school boy at the idea of making her afraid of him. Now, all he wanted to do was ease her fears. Some vampire, his mind taunted. He didn’t care.

“I do understand,” he whispered. She shook her head.

“No. I have to…”

“I do,” he insisted, thinking back to those agonizing months of seeing her death over and over again every time he closed his eyes. Seeing her body lying there, broken, bleeding, still. So still and serene. Like an angel. Shaking his head, he soothed her tears away with his gentle caresses. She wanted to reach out and push him away, scream at him, telling him he couldn’t just touch her and make it go away, but she was pretty sure he had. She didn’t hate him. She loved him too much to ever hate him for leaving. “And Buffy?”

“What?” she cried, drying her eyes on her coat sleeve.

“I love you too.” The fear in his eyes when he’d said it told her just how true those words were. It gave her closure on a moment she’d let herself think about too hard, too often. He did love her. She knew it for a fact now, and in the truth of his words, she had a moment of solace.

“You can’t make it all better just like that, you know.”

“I know,” he whispered. “At least let a fella try, luv.” Leaning forward, his lips pressed against hers, and he felt her gasp against the familiar coolness of his lips. But she leaned in, hardening, deepening the kiss, her hands moving to his shoulders, holding onto him firmly as she closed her eyes, afraid he’d disappear before she could open her eyes and look into his again. A soft moan escaped her lips, and it was his complete undoing. He pulled his arms around her, bringing her as close as he thought he could get, until it became very obvious that the something between them that had always been physical had manifested into something, well, very literally physical.

He sucked in a sharp, airless breath and pulled back, looking into the glazed eyes of his love, seeing the soft swelling on her lips, and then he looked down, seeing now what he’d felt. She was…

“Bloody hell…”

“Spike…I can explain.”

Chapter 10

“What the bloody hell is this, Buffy?” he asked, suddenly feeling his anger rising. Buffy flinched at the words that she’d come to expect. She took a deep breath and started to speak, but he didn’t give her a chance. “So you say you love me, and you…you go on with your life shagging whoever comes along? Whose is it? It bloody-well can’t be Angel’s. Who, Buffy? I’ll rip his bloody head off!”

“Spike!” Buffy shouted.

“This is just beautiful. You let me get all soft and act like a complete jerk, telling you I love you like I should have, and you’re…you’re carrying around somebody else’s burden…”

“Spike, stop it!” Buffy demanded, her own anger rising to match his. “You don’t understand.”

“Oh, I get it. I was an idiot to think…” He turned around, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, popping one out, lighting it, and taking a long drag as Buffy watched in silence. She was curious to hear the kind of venom he was about to spit out at her. Maybe it would give her a reason to hate him. Maybe it would make everything a whole lot simpler. Instead, he just stared at her, looking at her coat-covered belly. “Who was it, Buffy? From the looks of it, you didn’t wait very long.”

“I didn’t wait at all!” Immediately, she realized how that sounded, and Spike raised his eyebrows.

“That’s pretty clear,” he seethed. “How long was it? A week? A day? A bloody hour? Oh, perfect. It was that principal git wasn’t it? Let me guess, he lived and you were so upset you jumped on him because he was the first warm body you could find?”

“That’s rich,” Buffy said angrily, though the tears in her eyes showed no sign of drying up. “You think that I asked for this?”

“Somebody sure did.” She reached out, slapping him hard across the face.

“You didn’t even think to ask. You just assumed. You want to think that I said what I said because I knew you were going to die? Well I didn’t, ok? I loved you, and you just…you just gave up!”

“I did what I had to do!” he bellowed. “You know how hard it was for me to stay there, when all I wanted to do was take your hand and get you out of there as fast as I could? I wanted to, but I knew that if I didn’t stay, you might not make it. I had to give you the chance to get out!”

“Well you were stupid.”

“Well, what else is new? You must have some handbook that teaches you to believe that Spike’s worthless. Spike’s a blithering idiot.”

“You were stupid to stay, but you were brave,” she finally said. Her eyes met his, a little less anger flowing between them both now. “You saved a lot of people. You saved the world, and I was still angry. I wanted you back, because you were the only person that could tell me exactly what I was feeling. Even I didn’t know some of those things, Spike. You knew me better than I did, and that scared me, but that’s what I needed. I realized that…too late.” Spike was a little taken aback. How did they get from arguing to her praising him and telling him about his good qualities? That was a head scratcher. “I didn’t want you to find out this way. I just wanted a chance to explain.” Spike sighed heavily and sat down on the leather couch.

“Well, the sun’s out. I can’t go anywhere.” Buffy eyed him, and he made a motion to scoot over so she could sit. As angry as he was, he couldn’t exactly deny a pregnant woman the right to sit down and rest her feet for a while. “Just make it quick. Like a band-aid. Who’s the father?”

“You are.” Her eyes never left his, and she watched the expression on his face change from the angry hurt to surprise to confusion and then momentarily to amusement and then back to confusion.

“You’re jerkin’ my chain. That’s impossible. We haven’t…I mean, you know that it…”

“It’s hard to explain. But…Spike, the long story short is that when I took your hand, something…something happened. Next thing I knew, I had the same look on my face that you have right now, when the doctor told me I was pregnant. Spike, I haven’t been with anybody else since…since we were…” She shook her head. “But there’s more.”

“I don’t understand. Buffy, vampires can’t have children.”

“There’s a prophecy.”

“Brilliant. Another prophecy,” he muttered. “What’s it this time? Something about a chosen vampire? A cup of perpetual torment?”

“What?”

“Nothing,” he said, shaking his head, getting back to the important matter at hand. “What’s the prophecy?” She studied his face, wondering if she should tell him everything. She didn’t want to frighten him or make him go off the deep end and do something incredibly stupid, but she knew she had to be honest. They always had to be honest if they had any chance of making…whatever this was…work.

After explaining and trying her best to answer Spike’s questions, Buffy sat on the same leather couch as Spike, staring at him, waiting for his response. His expression was one she’d seen many times before. He was trying to figure it all out; trying to figure out how he could make this work so that he was happy. It didn’t bother her, because she knew in her heart that he’d only be happy if she were alive.

“What do you think?”

“I don’t know what to think, pet,” he said quietly. “I find out I’m gonna be a father and that because of me, you’re supposed to die.”

“It’s not because of you.”

“Well, it bloody well isn’t because of Angel, is it?”

“Enough about Angel! This has nothing to do with him. This is about us.”

“Well you went running to him, didn’t you?”

“What else did you expect me to do? I didn’t know you were alive. I didn’t know where else to go. Everybody’s scattered to different corners of the world, and when I found out about the prophecy, I didn’t know what to do. Angel was the closest person, and because he’s running things at Wolfram and Hart, I thought he might be able to help.” Spike grew silent at Buffy’s words. She had a point.

“You’re not going to die.”

“Angel keeps saying that. But he hasn’t found anything.”

“We’ll find something.” He shook his head. “And the Slayers? They’ll lose their power?”

“Faith won’t. I won’t. I think it has something to do with natural enemies creating life between them.” She shrugged her shoulders. Kind of sheds some different light on the whole biting and staking thing. Of course, they’re going to be hunted by vampires still. They’ll have the skills, but they won’t have the strength anymore.”

“So we’re looking at potentially….thousands of dead ex-Slayers, and if the prophecy is true, the best Slayer there is…is gonna be taken down by this kid. My kid.”

“That’s what it sounds like, but like you said, it won’t happen. We’ll find a way.” Spike nodded his head. They had to find a way. He wasn’t losing her. As crazy as this all sounded, crazier things had happened, and he wasn’t about to lose her, not when he’d just gotten her back. Things weren’t going to be easy, but it didn’t matter.

“We will,” he agreed. He felt her hand on his shoulder.

“We’ve got a lot to talk about, Spike.”

“That we do,” he said quietly, placing his hand on hers. Her fingers curled around his, and he looked over at her, looking into those gorgeous green eyes. God, how he’d longed to look into her eyes and see such love for him there. He’d dreamed of that look for so long, and now, now it was real. He wanted her so badly it physically ached to feel so much.

He gently grazed his fingers against her cheek, and she leaned into his touch, closing her eyes. She’d missed the feel of his cool caresses that sent shivers and sparks through her body at the same time. He was the only man who could ever do that to her.

“God I’ve missed you,” he breathed, wanting to kiss her again, wanting to make her moan his name.

“Me too,” she breathed, as she leaned in closer, her breath against his soft lips. “Spike…”

“I’ve dreamed about it. Dreamed of touching you. Did you dream about me?” He kissed her soft cheek and then gently placed a kiss on the very spot of her neck that he could feel her pulse the strongest.

“Every night,” she moaned, her body already reacting in ways she hadn’t anticipated it would until they’d talked some more and had worked through everything that had gone down in their separate lives—or in Spike’s case, his unlife—these past several months. But she couldn’t stop herself. She never could with him. He had to stop it, and she hoped he wouldn’t. This just felt so right. “God, Spike…please…”

“I wanna hear you say it,” he murmured, capturing her lips with his, tracing his tongue along her lower and then upper lip, feeling her quiver against his kiss. He could smell her desire for him, and he guided a hand to her thigh, caressing it slowly before reaching down to urge her legs apart. He brushed his hand against the warmth of her, and he began to stroke her through her jeans, causing her to cry out softly in his mouth.

“Please, Spike. I want you to fuck me…please…now.” He needed no further encouragement, as he leaned into her, one hand working to help her out of her coat, as the other rubbed mercilessly against her heat. She nipped at his lower lip, and she pulled back. “Here.” She unbuttoned her coat and slipped it off of her shoulders. For the first time, Spike saw the very evident roundness of her stomach, and he just stared, shock and awe clearly present in his gaze. She eyed him, wondering what he was thinking.

“It’s not weird, is it?”

“No, I…”

“I know I look fat…”

“No,” he breathed. “You’re gorgeous, Slayer.” That passion was still in his eyes, but his gaze was drawn back to the heaviness of her middle.

“Spike? Do you…do you want to feel him kick?” Great, Buffy. Way to ruin the mood, she thought. But he didn’t seem to be put off.

“I…”

“It’s alright,” she said quietly.

“Does it hurt? Havin’ your skin stretched like that?”

“No,” she said with a slight chuckle at his lack of knowledge. Vampires never really had to think about pregnancy and the things that came along with it. Until now, anyway. “He’s kicking. You can…you can feel him if you want.” She stared at him, trying to gauge his feelings. “You don’t have to.” He couldn’t help but ask the next question.

“What if he’s…Buffy, I mean, the child of a vampire? What does that mean anyway? Are you sure he won’t come out with…with fangs or with three heads or something?”

“I’ve had lots of ultrasounds. He’s human, Spike.” She placed her hand on his. “He has a soul.” She gently took his hand and placed it on her belly, and she watched as his sparkling blue eyes lit up with wonderment, just as she’d dreamed. “Our son is human.”

“He’s…he’s really kicking, isn’t he? It doesn’t hurt?”

“It’s not always comfortable, but it lets me know he’s ok.” She smiled a little. Who’d have ever thought it? A vampire and a slayer discussing the fetal movement of their unborn son.

“This is because of me. I did this to you.” He smiled a little. “And didn’t even get to the fun part.” Buffy chuckled and shook her head.

“Yeah.” With a soft sigh, she traced her fingers over his knuckles and watched him smile ever-so-softly as he felt the baby moving inside of her.

“Spike Jr. is it?” he asked.

“What? I’m not naming our son Spike! And don’t you even think about putting it on the birth certificate. Or William the Bloody Jr. William? Maybe.”

“I think one William is enough for one slayer, don’t you, luv?” he asked, the passion re-igniting in his eyes. “Or do you still want to see me and Captain Forehead wrestle it out in…what was it? Some kind of oil?” Buffy couldn’t help but grin at the memory.

“I think I’d rather have just you,” she said softly.

“Yeah? How come I have a hard time believing that?”

“Because you’re a dumb vampire,” she replied. “You don’t get it. You don’t want to believe that anybody could love you…”

“No, I think maybe it’s because you can’t shag Angel, so you’ll have to settle…”

“Hey,” she interrupted. “No settling for Buffy. I was a girl when I fell in love with Angel, ok? I was excited by him…he was mysterious and sexy, and…”

“At what point do I start listening again?” he asked. Buffy rolled her eyes.

“My point is that I’m not a girl anymore.”

“Right you are,” he murmured, gazing at her form, noticing how the miracle of pregnancy had also enhanced parts of her that had already been perfect to him in the first place. He had to admit that he was turned on by the swell in her breasts, and there was something arousing, something primal about seeing her carrying his child safe inside of her.

“My feelings for Angel…I…I’ll always love him, Spike, but he’s not who I want. Not anymore. I Storieswant you. I love you.” She placed her hand against his cheek. “Call me a fool, but I can’t help myself.”

“You’re sure? This is what you want? Because so help me, Buffy, I couldn’t bear it if you…”

“Trust me, Spike. There’s not a doubt in my mind. I feel this way. I have for a long time, and I can’t make it stop. For a long time…I tried. I tried, because I thought it would make things easier. But…I realized there was no use fighting it. Things happen for a reason. No one knows why we love those that we do.”

“You’re starting to sound like the old man.”

“Giles?”

“Hmm.”

“Yeah,” she said thoughtfully. With a sigh, she let out a soft groan. “Sorry. I kinda ruined the mood, didn’t I?”

“S’alright.” He cleared his throat. “Well, I’d ask if you wanted to get out of here, do something else, but since the sun’s out, we’re a little limited on recreational activities. I think there’s a Playstation upstairs.”

“Spike.”

“I think there’s two controllers, and…”

“Spike!”

“What?”

“Just shut up and kiss me.” With that, she pulled her arms around him and pressed her lips against his, kissing him hungrily until she felt him kiss her back. This time, there would be no interruptions.

Somehow, they’d managed to make it up the stairs joined in a passionate embrace, as they fumbled with clothes and those pesky stair steps. Spike led her into what appeared to be the guest bedroom, and within moments, they were both sitting on the edge of the bed, fumbling with zippers, buttons, and belt loops.

“God,” she breathed, as he raised her shirt over her head and began to work with the clasps of her bra, all the while sucking hungrily upon the warm flesh of her neck, leaving what Buffy knew would be a hickey. Oh well, she wasn’t seventeen anymore. She didn’t have anything to hide. Nothing in the world. Not anymore.

Her hands ran up and down his back, under his shirt, caressing his taut muscles, making him moan and harden further. She could feel him straining against his jeans, straining for her, and she reached down, unzipping his fly and reaching in, taking him into her hand.

He gasped at the sudden warmth of her hand, the skillful movements of her long, slender, trembling fingers, and he pressed his lips against hers, suppressing his moans of pleasure and then hers, as he freed her from her bra and cupped a rounded breast in one hand, kneading it, gently rolling her sensitive nipple between his thumb and forefinger. He lay her back upon the mattress, crawling over her.

“Spike,” she shuddered, stroking him a bit faster now, as his hands clawed at her pants, bringing them down, as he expertly deepened their kiss. He felt as if he could drown in her, keep kissing her forever, but he broke the kiss, remembering she required oxygen.

He moved his lips back to her pulse and then to her collarbone, then he took a nipple between his teeth, softly biting it and then suckling it, circling it with his cool, rough tongue.

Buffy arched her back, as she managed to wriggle out of her panties and kick her pants to the floor. She helped Spike out of the rest of his clothes, awkwardly pushing him back a moment so he could maneuver out of them. Then he was on her again, his mouth on hers, his tongue dancing with hers. His hands were buried in her golden hair, as she continued to stroke him, bringing him dangerously close to the edge.

“Luv, you keep doing that, and…oh…” He felt himself starting to lose control, and she got the hint, letting go of him, bringing her hands to his face, bringing their kiss deeper if it was even possible.

She could feel him hard and throbbing against her thighs, as her own body reacted in kind. He could feel how wet and ready she was, but he wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to hurt her. He’d been with his share of women in his time, but never with one who was protecting another life inside of her. What if he hurt the baby?

“Am I hurting you? Am I hurting…”

“No,” she whispered. “We’re fine. Please, Spike. Please don’t stop.” Those words coming from her kiss-swollen, pink lips were enough to convince him she was his for the taking. He’d just have to be a little careful. Little more gentle this time around, mate.

He gently placed his hands behind her knees, bringing her legs around his waist. She adjusted with him, locking her ankles together and gently pushing him into her. She bit her lower lip, closing her eyes as he started to slide into her.

“Oh God. Mmmm…” Her head thrashed back and forth on the bed, and her hair flew about like tendrils of golden sunlight, the only kind he could touch without the fear of impending death. Though he wasn’t so certain now, as he filled her completely, and she surrounded him. He felt as if he might die in that very moment, and he wouldn’t have a care in the world.

“So warm,” he breathed. “So beautiful.” He stared down at his slayer, drinking in the beauty of the moment. So long he’d waited for this. So long he’d wanted to be with her again. Things had changed so much between them over the years, and now, for once, he could be with her and really make love with her. It wasn’t about power this time. It wasn’t about sex just to feel alive. No, it was so much more. It was about establishing a new bond. A new life between them, literally and figuratively. It was a starting over. No more dying. No more leaving. This was it. It scared the hell out of him. Her too. But it was right. It felt so right.

“Spike!” she cried out, her nails digging into his shoulders as he picked up the pace. He was careful with her, alert for the first sounds of discomfort, but so far, only the cries of pleasure escaped her sweet lips. He closed his eyes tightly, the image of her swelling breasts making him lose himself faster. He buried his face in her neck, feeling her breasts against his chest, feeling the sheen of sweat that had formed on her supple flesh now coat him. He could taste her. He could taste the salt of her, and he wanted more. He kissed her lips again, and she could taste what he tasted. Her eyes flew open, and she felt herself drawing closer.

Crying out, she begged him to release her, and he slipped his hand between them, circling her throbbing clit with his thumb. That was exactly what she needed, as she began to contract around him, milking him completely, tearing him away from reality. For one moment, he was in Heaven.

They collapsed together, moments later, and he rolled off of her quickly, not wanting to crush the baby between them. He was on his side, his hand nestled between her thighs, still stroking her down from her high, though it was becoming quite obvious that she wasn’t quite finished yet.

Breathing hard, she gripped the mattresses, and she let him stroke her into another grand finale. And when he took his hand away, she rolled onto her side to look into his eyes. Love, satisfaction, hunger for more. It was all there, reflected from her gaze and into his.

“So beautiful,” he murmured, a sleepy haze clouding his eyes. Buffy gently stroked his cheek as if memorizing every bit of his face. So beautiful. He was beautiful to her.

She yawned, and he drew her into his arms, wanting to feel her next to him, her head on his chest, her hands on his shoulders. He’d missed this. He’d missed the sex, yes, but he’d missed this closeness. A closeness he’d never achieved with anyone before.

“Hold me…hold me until the sun goes down,” she whispered. He kissed the top of her head, and it wasn’t long before he felt her relax in his arms, falling into the first restful sleep she’d had in a long, long time.

***

Angel paced back and forth in his office. She’d been gone a while. Maybe she’d gotten lost? Or worse? No, she was the slayer. She knew where to go. She was on a mission to find Spike, and she would find him. Probably already had. What could they possibly be doing that could take so long?

He sighed, knowing it was obvious but not wanting to believe it. He’d let her go, he knew that. He and Buffy could never have a normal kind of life together, but what could Spike give her that he couldn’t? He just couldn’t wrap his head around the idea of Buffy and Spike. The same Buffy who just a few years ago would have staked Spike without much of a second thought. Somehow, he’d managed to worm his way into her life and stay there like some uninvited squatter.

“Boss? Boss!” Angel turned at the sound of Harmony’s voice. “I’ve been calling you for like five minutes! Are you ok?”

“Fine,” he said, his jaw rigid. “What do you want, Harmony?” His eyes were dark, demanding. She knew not to beat around the bush.

“A guy in Research asked me to give this to you. He said it’s important. And before you ask, no I didn’t read it. It’s still sealed.” She rolled her eyes and reached out her hand. Angel took the envelope from her.

“Thanks.”

“Well, I guess I’ll go back to my desk now…unless you need help with…whatever it is you’re researching?”

“Is my three o’clock coming?”

“Oops!”

“What oops?”

“I kind of forgot to tell them about the meeting.” She saw Angel’s eyes darken, and she backed away. “I’ll get right on that boss! Don’t worry.” She rushed out of sight, and Angel turned his gaze back to the envelope. Opening it up, he found a document sent up from Wesley and the team of researchers.

He began to mutter some to himself as he read. “Prophecy…baby is born, Slayer dies. All slayers lose powers…except Faith.” That last bit he knew. He wasn’t sure what pissed him off more about the prophecy. The fact that it said Buffy would die, or the fact that it knew about the potential slayers becoming slayers themselves. Why couldn’t they have known that before it became a last resort for Willow to work her powers?

There wasn’t much more that he didn’t already know.

“Thanks for the great research, guys,” he quipped sarcastically. “Real big help.”

He looked back at the page, and the next line made his blood run colder than ever before.

The only way to stop the events that will come to pass is to destroy, before the child’s first breath is taken, the child or his mother.

Chapter 12

Despite the silence filling the house, neither Buffy, nor Spike with his super-keen hearing, could hear the urgent twinkling of her cell phone’s music. In the heat of the moment, it had been discarded and accidentally kicked under the couch, and the sounds were muffled, not that either of them would have noticed in their passion.

Upstairs, Buffy began to squirm in his arms, and Spike, having not slept a wink, tightened his arms around her, as if he feared she might slip away and be lost to him forever.

For a moment, she thought she was waking up from one of her many dreams, but the moment her sensations kicked in, and she felt his arms around her, smelled the scent of him; the scent of their passion, she sighed softly and smiled, pressing her lips against his neck.

“What time is it?” she whispered sleepily.

“Nearly noon, luv,” he whispered. Buffy slowly opened her eyes.

“Why didn’t you wake me up? How long have I been out?”

“Just a couple hours,” he whispered. “You looked like you needed the rest.”

“Is that your way of telling me I look terrible?”

“’Course not,” he replied. “But I figured you’re sleepin’ for two now.”

“Eating for two, sleeping for two, killing demons for two.” She stretched, rolling out of his arms and onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow. He turned his head to look at her, seeing her smiling at him. He’d never felt so happy in his entire life, or unlife, and it was a foreign feeling to him, seeing her looking at him like…like that.

“What?” he wondered, his blue eyes twinkling with curiosity.

“I don’t know. I guess I don’t…I don’t really know what to think right now.”

“That’s your problem, Slayer. Always thinking…always…”

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with thinking. It worked for…for Einstein.”

“Sometimes, luv, you have to let your heart do the thinking.”

“This coming from someone…”

“Now if you’re going to crack some joke about me not having a beating heart, well…you need to brush up on your insults. It’s been a while.”

“Who said I was going to insult you?” she asked, feeling so much lighter right now. It was amazing what seeing him again—not to mention the fantastic sex—could do for her spirits. Still, she knew it wasn’t all about sex. Sooner or later, they’d have to get serious again and catch up on everything, especially what they were going to do about the not-so-little bun that was apparently trying to punch holes in her oven.

“So…you wanna talk about it, then?”

“Talk about what?”

“The prophecy?”

“We did talk about it.”

“Yeah, but…”

“I don’t want to think about that. I’ll think about that tomorrow,” she said, stopping herself. “Wow, that was very Scarlett O’Hara of me.” Spike raised an eyebrow.

“You know, that movie was so much better on the big screen.” Buffy raised an eyebrow.

“You saw Gone with the Wind?” Spike shrugged his shoulders.

“What of it? Was a good show.”

“Wow, there is so much I don’t know about you.”

“That’s ‘cause ya didn’t take the time to get to know me.” He realized he’d said the wrong thing, when he saw her stiffen a draw away a little. “Sorry, pet. I didn’t mean…”

“Sure you did,” she said quietly. “And you’re right. All you ever were to me was something I had to look out for, make sure you weren’t going to be around the next corner to…you know…bite me, hurt one of my friends, something like that. Until it changed…”

“Yeah,” he said quietly, “but you never trusted me…”

“Until I saw that you changed,” Buffy corrected him. “It’s all different now, Spike. The past is the past, and I wanna leave it that way.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yep. No more late night Buffy and Spike re-runs. Re-runs are boring. Except on Nick-at-Nite. But that’s not even the same anymore.” Spike could only smile at her. He’d had rarely ever seen her behave this way, especially with him, and never after sex. He wondered for a painful moment if she’d been like this with Angel. Or with Captain Cardboard. Or even that love ‘em and leave ‘em whatshisface from Buffy’s early days as a college girl.

“We’ll have to talk about the rest of it sooner or later, Pet.”

“Right, but we have months before we need to deal with it…”

“Those months are going to be spent finding out how to fix this.” His voice was grave. “I lost you once, a long time ago, and after Sunnydale…when I came back? It was like I lost you all over again, because being here, but not being here? Pet, you never wanna know what that’s like.”

“I know. I know what it’s like to be here and feel helpless. I felt that way almost every day when we were training the girls, and after I’d come back. And hey, I was here but not here. Remember when I was invisible?”

“Yeah, you ripped my favorite shirt.”

“The black one’s your favorite. It’s all you ever wear.”

“You’re not gonna try to change my wardrobe, are you?”

“Why would I do that?” She sat up in bed, straightening out the sheets around her, holding her arm around her chest as to not let the sheet fall. She suddenly felt like a teenager again, as his fingers gently traced the arch of her back, sending tingles just about everywhere. She closed her eyes, biting her lower lip. He smiled a crooked smile, and he leaned forward to kiss the places his fingers had run.

“That’s what birds try to do…you know, when they’ve got a fella by the shorthairs.” Buffy eyed him. Fuck. You’ve bloody done it this time. He sighed, his shoulders slumping, as he sat up in the bed next to her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“What?” She glanced at him, knowing he was just as uncertain about their future as she was. All she knew was that she didn’t want to be without him anymore. There had been too much of that. Even when they’d been together, when it was just sex, it had been very lonely. It had filled up some of the empty spaces in their lives, and it had passed the time, but not being able to share feelings, secrets, innermost desires…that was the loneliest either of them had ever been. She didn’t want that anymore.

“I didn’t mean to assume…”

“Spike,” Buffy said quietly.

“No, I just…I’m trying to…”

“Spike, I think once we’ve gotten past ‘I love you,’ it’s safe to say we can talk about…about ‘us.’” That tiny word. Us. It was just a word, but when she uttered it, she saw his eyes light up for a moment, and he leaned over, kissing her shoulder.

“You know, I don’t think I’m even really here. I think I’m in Hell.” Buffy was suddenly very taken aback and confused. Why couldn’t he just shut up for once?

“So this is Hell for you?”

“No…I…Buffy…I didn’t mean…bloody hell. I meant…I think I’m still dead…or more dead…whatever I was before I came back. I think I’m just being made to think you’re here with me.” She considered his words for a moment. God, how often had she thought, over the past several months, that perhaps she, too, had died and hadn’t really made it out of the Hellmouth. But, after all of the pain she’d gone through fighting demons and trying to carry this mystical human child and keep it as safe as possible, this was surely reality, or at least, a reality to a vampire slayer. Vampire slayer. Wow. If she made it out of this pregnancy alive, and they raised their child, what would they say to him when he asked how they met? Well, Junior, you see, Daddy came to town to kill Mommy, but fate had other plans.” Lame. Shaking her head, she put folded her arms.

“Well, if you’re making me up right now,” she pondered, “what did Xander suggest I name the baby when he found out I was carrying your child?” Spike cocked his head. “No guesses? Well, he suggested Captain Peroxide Jr.”

“Should’ve known. That git’s always tryin’ to…I was dead. Couldn’t have had any respect for the…undead dead?”

“Past, Spike. We’re not thinking about that.”

“You brought it up, luv.” Buffy rolled her eyes and pulled herself out of bed. She tossed the sheet over him, and she started across the room, making a mental note to either wash the bed sheets or leave a nice little note for the couple whose home they were invading, warning them to wash the sheets before having a good night’s sleep.

Spike’s eyes were on her, as she started toward the door.

“Where’re you going…if you’re going to be naked, might as well do it a little closer to me, pet.”

“I have to pee,” she said, suddenly realizing she’d never said something like that in front of him. Her cheeks felt a little warm. Am I blushing? She just couldn’t seem to help herself. It was all new, but so familiar, and she knew that soon, the euphoria would wear off, and they’d be back to business, killing demons and trying to find out how to change the predicted outcome of this pesky prophecy. But there was time for that later. “Being pregnant kind of does that…”

“Say no more,” Spike said, amused and still completely got that she was with him, being so open with him, as if they’d never been mortal enemies. As if he’d been the one she’d always been able to confide in.

He watched her disappear down the hall, and he wondered how much longer he was going to be able to feel this happy before the other shoe dropped, and all he’d have left was the painful nothingness his world had been surrounded with for the past century? She was his only bright light, and the thought of losing her again was almost enough to kill him. But he was going to stop this. He vowed it to himself right then. He would find a way, no matter what.

***

“She’s not picking up. Something’s wrong.”

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Wesley started.

“Wes, you and I both know that Buffy can’t exactly go for a little walk when she’s the slayer. She’s pretty much got a giant target painted on her back. And more than half of the employees in this building would be more than happy to start throwing darts!” Gunn raised his eyebrows and spoke up.

“Wow, did you actually just try to use a metaphor?” He only received a glare from his annoyed boss.

“She’s gone after Spike. We know that much thanks to Harmony.” It hadn’t taken long at all to pry that information from Harmony’s flapping jaw.

“Yeah. And they’re probably just catching up,” Gunn pointed out.

“Not helping, Gunn.” Angel’s eyes darkened. “This says that either her or the baby has to die before it takes its first breath.”

“I thought you said we were gonna find a loophole?”

“I’m trying, but it’s a little hard to think about that when, in a few months, the woman I love is going to give birth to the son of…Spike, and might die because of it.” He tried her cell again, but after three rings, it went right to voicemail. “Damn it.”

“Calm down. I’ll go talk to Harmony and see if somehow I can get her to remember the address she wrote down,” Wesley offered, heading out of the office. Gunn cleared his throat as he went to follow Wesley.

“Just to warn you,” he said in Angel’s direction, “she loves him? We know how he feels about her. Something tells me they’re not gonna want to be interrupted.”

Chapter 13

“What do you mean she’s not answering?” Giles practically spat on the other line.

“I mean she’s not answering,” Angel said flatly. “I think she’s with Spike.”

“Explain to me again how Spike’s back?” Angel could practically hear the Watcher cleaning his glasses on the other line.

“I don’t know. I opened a package, and the amulet fell out, and Spike just…appeared.”

“And he was a ghost?”

“Incorporeal, yeah.”

“And now he’s not.”

“Right.”

“I don’t understand.”

“We don’t really get it either. But I guess he’s back in L.A., and Harmony gave Buffy the address. At least that’s the story so far.”

“And she doesn’t remember…oh dear.”

“Giles, there’s something you might need to hear…about the prophecy.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve had my researchers looking into it, and…Giles, so far, all we know is that…in order to prevent the reversal of the power Willow summoned with her spell is to destroy the baby…or Buffy, and it has to be before the birth.” There was a long line of silence, before Giles finally chose his words carefully.

“Does Buffy know this yet?”

“No,” Angel replied, a tad exasperated. “Her phone keeps going to voice mail. If she’s with Spike…” He choked on the next words. “She’s probably safe. I know he…he cares about her.”

“Keep trying her phone. I’m flying out.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I really think I must.” With that, the line was dead.

“Giles? Giles?” Angel banged the phone down onto the desk, and he sat down with a thud. How was this all happening? Just twenty four hours ago, he’d only had to worry about his murderous employees and their probable alliance with the senior partners, who were most likely looking to kill anybody who ever had any connection to Angel Investigations. Now, he had his pregnant ex-girlfriend, her newly soul-empowered, bleach blonde poor excuse for a vampire boyfriend, and this brand new prophecy that only spelled bad ending no matter how you looked at it.

This was definitely more than just another day at the office.

***

His breath was ragged against her collarbone, as he held onto her hips, steadying her over him. God, he’d missed this. The feeling of her surrounding him, intoxicating him. Her eyes were fixed on his, and it was all he could do to stop himself from letting go right then and there, filling her completely with his seed, something that, until now, had never been much of a concern. So wait a minute? Does this mean vampires can… No. No thinking. He shook his head, and he sought her lips with his own. Feeling her tongue dart out to graze against his lips made his body shudder and his cock twitch, begging for more.

“Slayer,” he groaned, as Buffy’s nails sunk into his shoulders, eliciting a hiss from him.

“Spike,” she moaned, tilting her head back, as Spike sucked and licked his way down her neck, paying special attention to her pulse points, before hungrily taking a nipple into his mouth, thus eliciting a much higher pitch from her.

“Was that a squeal?” he chuckled against her breast.

“Shut up,” she replied, half smiling, as he lay her back on the bed, situating himself over her, as he continued to rock his hips against hers, filling her completely, each time causing her to squeeze her eyes a little tighter. It suddenly dawned on him.

What if I’m hurting her? What if I’m in too deep? She could feel him hesitate, and she drew her arms tightly around him, shaking her head.

“Don’t stop. Please. Please. Please.” A couple of years ago, hearing her begging like that, begging beneath him, looking up at him with such desire in her eyes, such unyielding need to feel him inside of her would have drawn a cocky grin to his face. It almost did not, but instead, he bent down to kiss her again, needing to feel closer to her, if it was possible.

The change of positions allowed him to reach between them, circling her clit with his thumb, drawing out a hiss and then a soft moan from her, as she began to arch against him. Her inner vaginal muscles began to pulse, milking him harder with each spasm.

“Fuck,” he muttered, burying his face in her neck, smelling her scent. His whole body seemed to be aroused by her. God, she was beautiful. More than that, she was his.

“Spike! Oh God…God…mmmmmm….Spike!” Another string of words like this was his undoing, as he gathered her up, filling her completely once more, hearing her moan a soft “hnnnf” with each stroke, and when she opened her eyes and he lifted his head to look into hers, it was his complete undoing. He growled out his climax against her lips, as he felt a flood of warmth coating his cock. Oh God. This was Heaven, or at least as close to it as he’d ever get.

He rolled off of her, panting. Buffy lay next to him, her hands running through her hair, as she closed her eyes and tried to slow her pounding heart. After a few moments, she could hear his soft breaths next to her, and she watched the fast and steady rise and fall of his chest.

“Why do you breathe like that after sex? It’s not like you have to?”

“Old habits, pet,” he whispered, closing his eyes. His hand moved to one of his shoulders, where a trickling of blood seeped out. Buffy eyed it.

“Sorry…old habits.” He grinned at her in the very way he had when he’d pulled her aside at her birthday party, teasing her about the lad who’d had a crush on her. Only this time, he was grinning at someone who wasn’t looking at him with self-loathing in her eyes…and loathing for him. He reached over to the bedside table, finding the clock.

“It’s nearly five.”

“Wow, making up for lost time really makes you lose track of time,” Buffy said aloud, staring back up at the ceiling. “Angel’s probably wondering where I am. I’m surprised he’s not here. I figured he’d have got it out of Harmony in no time.” She saw Spike’s eyes cloud over at the mention of Angel’s name. “Spike, he wants to help us.”

“No, luv, he wants to help you. I think he has a secret back room where he sits whittling wood stakes with my name on them every night. You know, kind of like the pottery room on Ghost?”

“Ghost? Wow, I really do have a lot to learn about you.” Spike chuckled at that, and he leaned over, kissing her shoulder. “I should get a shower, but I kind of feel weird using some stranger’s bathroom…”

“Weirder than this?” He motioned toward the bed. Buffy rolled her eyes and got out of bed, starting to slip into her clothes.

“We’ll see what they have to eat, and when the sun goes down, we’ll head back.” She leaned down again to kiss him, and it was all he could do to restrain himself from pulling her back into bed and ravaging her once more. But, their usual, very cardio-friendly, but mark-leaving foreplay would have to wait until after the baby. He lay back against the sheets as Buffy dressed, and he thought about what this all meant.

A baby. His baby. Their baby. He’d never thought about having children when he was alive. Not even when he’d fallen in love with Cecily. He’d hated children as a vampire, and teenagers? He would have rather bitten them and rid the whole bloody planet of them. But his child? Seeing Buffy’s swollen belly heavy with his child was one of the most unnaturally natural things he’d ever seen, and he just hoped that when all was said and done, they could be as happy as they were right now.

Who are you kidding, you git. You’re not supposed to be happy. You’re a bloody vampire.

“Spike?” she asked, already dressed, standing in the doorway. “You coming?” Spike sighed and nodded, climbing out of bed.

“Right behind you, luv.”

***

“What do you mean you have to go?” Kennedy asked, as Willow tossed clothes into a suitcase. Willow nodded toward the phone.

“That was Giles. Buffy needs me,” she explained.

“I need you here,” Kennedy pointed out. “I might be a slayer, but you’re pretty much the most kickass witch around these parts. I can’t do this without you.”

“Kennedy,” Willow said firmly, “you’re a Slayer, and if I don’t go and help Buffy, you might end up being a Slayer with no Slayer strength.” Kennedy flinched. Since obtaining all of this power, she knew Willow was right.

“You’ll be careful?”

“I’m always careful,” Willow said with a nod.

“I don’t see why you can’t just…you know, fly over there.” Willow rolled her eyes.

“It doesn’t exactly work like that all the time. Besides, if I even attempted just popping myself over there, flight free, I’d be drained for at least a day, and they might need me.”

“Right,” Kennedy said with a nod. “When will you be back?”

“I don’t know,” Willow said with a sigh. “Whenever I’m not needed. I…I don’t know. Buffy’s my friend. I have to be there.”

“I get it,” Kennedy said with a nod. “Go on. Tell her I said hi.”

“I will.” Willow walked over to put her arms around the young woman. She kissed her softly and smiled, caressing her cheek. “You worry too much. You shouldn’t.”

“I know,” Kennedy replied, a soft smile spreading across her face. “Just go, and hurry back.” Willow nodded, closing the suit case and heading toward the door.

“I’ll call when I land in L.A.”

***

Angel paced back and forth in the lobby. All of the employees had gone home, and the vampire employees had waited until after sundown, or had taken the underground tunnels. Angel’s skin was crawling, partly from the fact that he was the big cheese at a company full of people he would have probably fought to the death while working as the head of Angel Investigations. Now, he was paying them. And part of it was because Buffy was still out there, doing God knows what, probably with Spike. Or worse, she could be…no. She was fine. She was fine, and they were going to find a way to work this out. He only hoped it didn’t come down to doing something he very much did not want to do…something Buffy, as a mother, would never allow him to do.

He saw a flash of golden blonde hair whipping past one of the large, glass windows, and in a moment, Buffy was hurrying through the front door, alone.

“Buffy?” She stopped for a moment when she saw him, but she headed in his direction. He knew he didn’t need to ask, but he did anyway. “Where have you been?” Great. You’re not her father. Don’t sound like it.

“I was…I found…I…”

“You were with Spike?” She didn’t need to answer. “Where is he?”

“He’s parking the car. He let me out in front.”

“What a gentleman.” Now you just sound like a jealous ten-year-old. Buffy sighed.

“Angel, I know this isn’t the easiest thing to deal with. It’s not for me either. But you…you weren’t there. You don’t know what all we’ve been through together.” Somehow, those words stung much more than he’d thought they would. He blinked a few times, opened his mouth, closed it, and cleared his throat.

“I could have been if you’d just called me.”

“You had a lot more to deal with, I think,” she said quietly. Angel sighed, nodding his head.

“I never should have left Sunnydale.”

“So you want to take back everything you’ve done here in L.A. just because I’m pregnant with Spike’s child?”

“For starters.” Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Great. Great. And I thought the jealous vampire crap died with Sunnydale.” I wonder if I could still get them to wrestle it out. Ooh, there’s a thought. Don’t forget the oil! She shook her head. “Spike’s different, Angel. I know you don’t see it. But he has a soul now, and…”

“So I’ve heard.” Why was it that everyone kept reminding him of that, as if he didn’t know? Yeah, maybe Spike fought for his soul, but it was under much different circumstances. “It doesn’t make up for what he did to you.”

“What he did to me?” Buffy asked, her brows knitted. “What are you talking about?” Angel froze for a minute.

“I…”

“Angel?”

“He tried to rape you!” Buffy was floored.

“How did you…”

“It was something the senior partners told me when I tried to find out how Spike got his soul back.” He cleared his throat. “They have guys in Africa too.”

“You were checking up on me.”

“I think attempted rape is a little more serious than…”

“You don’t have any right, Angel. Not anymore. You…you don’t understand what was happening. I wasn’t myself, and he…”

“You’re making excuses for him?”

“No!” she exclaimed. “I hated him for what he did to me, but I hated myself for the way I treated him. I was…I wasn’t the high school girl anymore, Angel. I died, and I came back, and I didn’t want to be there. Spike understood, and I took advantage of his feelings for me. We started having sex, and I treated him like…like he meant nothing to me. And then I told him it was over, and he was hurting. He did something really stupid, and I acted like I had the right to be upset, when I treated like I did. He was confused, and…well, a vampire.” Angel flinched. “He left town. He didn’t say a word.” Tears were in her eyes. “He went through…God knows what trying to get his soul back, and he did, and when he came back, he was nearly killed because of what getting that soul did to him. But he came out of it. He changed. He…he hated himself for what he did to me.”

“So that makes it all better? Because he felt bad?”

“No. It doesn’t make it all better. But he wasn’t the same man that he was when he left Sunnydale. You of all people should understand that. From what you’ve told me, you’ve done much worse in your time, Angel, even when you had a soul.” It was like a slap in the face, and she suddenly felt a little sick to her stomach. Angel turned around. “I’m…I’m sorry I said that.”

“No, it’s…no. You’re right. I have done a lot worse. I’ve gone further than that…but never with my soul, and I hate myself for it every day.”

“So you know how he felt? How he still feels?”

“Something like that, yeah,” Angel replied.

“I didn’t mean to bring up the past, Angel, but you and Spike? It’s kind of a level playing field now. He’s trying to make up for his past. You just got a head start.” Stuffing her hands in her pockets, she looked toward the elevators.

“I’m going to go lay down. It’s…been a long day.” She blushed and avoided his gaze. And I reeeeeally need a shower.

“Yeah. Um, I called Giles, and he’s taking the next flight out.”

“What? Why?”

“He wants to help. I figure he might be able to do that better if he was here.”

“Right,” Buffy said with a nod. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” He watched her start toward the elevators, but he called out to her. “Buffy?”

“Yeah?” She turned to face him again. He wanted to ask her to stay and talk to him a while longer, but looking at the swell of her belly, the exhaustion in her beautiful face, and the way she bounced on her heels, waiting to go to the elevator, he knew it wasn’t right. She had moved on, and he’d thought he had, but every time he saw her face, he was pulled back, yearning for her, wishing he could hold her and make love to her like he knew Spike would be doing every night from now on. He pushed the image out of his head and waved her on.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She nodded at his words, flashed him a half-smile, and headed off toward the elevator. Angel stood alone for a moment, head down, studying the patterns on the floor, and then he reluctantly retreated up to his own apartment.

Once the lobby was clear, Spike slowly crept out of the shadows from the back hall. He’d come in from the parking garage, and he’d heard almost every word Buffy had said about him to Angel. For a moment, he’d wondered if he was imagining that she really, truly loved him, but when he heard those words, he didn’t have a doubt in his mind. Still, his stomach was unsettled, and he couldn’t help but wonder what exactly was going to happen, how he was going to mess it up. It was too good to be true. Everything he touched was supposed to suffer, die, decay. S’alright, mate. Just be happy with what you got. Ain’t every day the vampire gets the girl.

Chapter 14

The warm water felt absolutely delightful against her clammy skin. She stood under the stream and rubbed her face with her hands, relishing the feel of the water as it flooded over her shoulders and down her back, running down every part of her until she was soaking wet. She let out a soft sigh, and while she knew she should start scrubbing herself down, she didn’t want to move or ruin the perfect moment, as her thoughts traveled back to the way Spike had held her, how he’d filled her completely, how close they’d gotten.

And she was trembling again, her core throbbing at the mere thought of what he could do to her. He’d always been able to get her worked up, but now, knowing that he knew how she felt, it made it even more special. She could share herself with him now. There was no holding back, and she didn’t want to change that. She didn’t want to think about the future or the fact that her life was on the line. Her life had always been on the line, and sure, she’d died a couple of times, come close even more, but this time, she refused to let anything happen to herself. Not when everything was finally right.

She heard the quiet creak of the bathroom door, followed by a very discreet click of the latch. Smiling to herself, she ran her hands down her face, her neck, her breasts, and her belly. She bit her lower lip, as she heard the shower door open. Her face began to flush, and the moment she heard the door shut, she turned and was greeted by a pair of mischievous, twinkling blue eyes. He was standing before her, his beautiful, ivory skin dampening from the mist swirling about the shower.

“Thought you could use a hand,” he said dumbly, which brought a smile to Buffy’s face. Without a moment’s notice, she snaked her arms around his neck and pulled him to her, crashing her mouth against his, kissing him feverishly.

He pressed her back against the shower wall, and immediately he slid his thigh between her legs, rubbing against her swollen pussy, so tight and ready for him. He moaned against her mouth, sucking her tongue, causing her to gasp against his lips.

“Spike,” she murmured, as he moved from her lips to gently nibble on her ear, causing her to lean her head back, and he began to suckle at her neck. Her hands moved over his shoulders and down his muscled back before cupping his firm ass, giving it a squeeze.

“Slayer,” he growled, sucking against the hollow of her throat before she arched back, and he took a nipple between his teeth. She closed her eyes, as the water poured over them both.

He was so hard against her thigh, and as he pulled her closer, he pushed into her just a little, causing her to moan, as she leaned into him, taking him all the way inside. For a moment, they could only just stare at one another, both so caught up in the moment, not willing to make it stop, but when she pulsed around him, his knees nearly turned to jelly, and he leaned against her, burying his face in her neck, as he pumped into her desperately. She held onto him for dear life, crying out as her nipples raked against his hard chest. His fingers circled out a rushing climax, as her clit swelled and ached for more of his touch.

“Oh God. Oh fuck. Spike…Spike…yes….oh God. I love…you…” Hearing her say it spurred him on, and in moments, he was spilling into her, the delicious bubble bursting, sending them both into spasms of sheer fulfillment.

The moments that followed here silent, as his hand softly kneaded her breast, and she stroked his back. He closed his eyes, feeling her heart pounding so fast. He pressed a kiss against her heartbeat, and his hands roamed lower, until he felt the fullness of her belly in both of his hands. He felt her stiffen just slightly, and he gazed into her sea green eyes.

“What’s it feel like? Havin’ him inside you?” She smiled a little and shook her head.

“I don’t know. I really…I can’t describe it. It’s…right.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She brushed her lips against his, and their foreheads met. They smiled at each other, both exhausted, yet at a moment’s notice, they knew their passion could ignite once more. “We really haven’t helped the clean factor much, have we?”

“Not really. Don’t really mind though.”

“Mmm.” She kissed him again, and she could feel him hardening between her legs again. “Bad boy,” she laughed.

“Can’t help it. Can’t get enough of you. S’been too long.” He pulled her to him again, his hands fisting in her hair, needing to feel more of her, wanting to feel her so close to him he wasn’t sure where one started and the other ended.

“It’s getting hot in here.”

“Tell me about it.”

“No, silly,” she said, swatting at him. I mean…steamy. We should hurry and…and then maybe…unnh….” His hand pulled her leg up to drape over his hip, and she could feel him sliding against her, waiting for a cue. “Oh God. Spike…don’t stop. Don’t ever stop…” He balanced the two of them, holding her as he slid all the way in. She gasped again, clutching at his back, crying out as he brought them both to a speedy finish.

***

A while later, they both stumbled out of the shower, squeaky clean, but practically inseparable.

“How’d we do it?” Buffy asked, pulling a night gown over her still damp body, deciding to forego the underwear. She didn’t exactly think she’d be requiring them tonight. Spike climbed onto the bed, used to sleeping in the nude anyway. He stretched out, his arms folded behind his head, as he watched her walk around the room, a gentle waddle in her normally stoic slayer gait.

“Do what, luv?”

“Go all those months without jumping each other?”

“You mean, the months I was out of my gourd? That might’ve had something to do with it.”

“I wanted to.”

“Hmm?”

“The night…the night you found me in that house, after Faith took over? You stayed with me, remember?”

“You think I’d forget the best night of my life, luv? Well…second best, now.” He grinned at her, as she settled into bed beside him.

“I wanted you…but I was afraid to make a move. I knew you were scared. I could feel you…you were shaking. I knew that after everything that happened between us, it wouldn’t have been right, but I wanted you. I wanted you to kiss me. That’s all I ever want these days.” He leaned in, kissing her softly.

“I wanted you too, pet. But the night that was really bad for me was the night I saw you with Angel.” Buffy sighed softly. “I know you said it was a hello, but it drove me crazy, because I wanted…” He paused, second guessing his words. Buffy turned herself toward him.

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s stupid.”

“Spike.” There was a long pause, before he finally continued. There was no avoiding anything with her. She would find a way to get it out of him, so he figured it was best if he just spat it out, quick and painless.

“I wanted to be the last man you ever kissed.” Buffy felt tears well in her eyes, but she held them back. “I thought we were gonna die. I knew we wouldn’t all make it out, and I wanted…I wanted to go knowing I was the last man you kissed, but I couldn’t get up the nerve. I didn’t want to ruin what we had. It was new. We were close, and I didn’t want to muck it up again.” Buffy frowned a little, but nodded in understanding. She yawned, and Spike reached out for her. She tentatively slid over to feel him wrap his arms around her. She lay against his chest, feeling the rumble there as he spoke. “When you said you loved me, I felt it. I knew it. It just hurt too much to realize I was losing you when I never really had you.”

“You have me now.”

“I do?”

“Mmmhmm,” Buffy murmured sleepily. She closed her eyes, placing her hand against his chest, against the spot where, if he were alive, she’d feel the thumpthumpthump of his heart. She wondered if he remembered the pain. What did it feel like when the world came crashing down, when the sun began to tear him apart, burning him from the inside. She shivered just thinking about it. About the pain he’d gone through so that she and her friends could get out, get to safety. He’d saved the world. He was a hero. And he hadn’t said a word about what it was like being…wherever it was that he had been.

Don’t ask him. You didn’t like to be asked. When she’d first come back, everybody had tried to tiptoe around the subject, but they were so curious. Then there was Anya, who just blurted it out, asking where she was. Thinking back, Buffy wasn’t certain she did remember much of it at all. It was like waking from a really vivid dream. As you wake, you remember everything, but the moment your head clears, it’s all gone. She’d been in that post-dream fog for months, until finally, it was as if all memory of Heaven was gone to her, but the feelings still remained, prickling the hairs on the back of her neck from time to time.

“William?” Frowning at the sudden even-more-serious tone he realized this conversation was about to take, Spike squeezed her shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“What was it like?”

“What?”

“Where you were? I mean, after Sunnydale. After…”

“After the world caved in, hmm?” She glanced at him. “I went, lookin’ for you. Saw the crater...more like a giant landfill now.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said sadly, still waiting for an answer.

“I don’t remember much…just standin’ there, the light real hot against my skin. Felt good at first, feeling that warmth for the first time in over a decade. Then after you left, it started burning. I knew I was gonna die, and I figured that if I was going to, I might as well make the most of it. So I just looked out, watched it all fall down around me. I could feel myself burning up. Hurt more than anything physical I ever felt, but it didn’t hurt more than…than when I lost you.” Buffy felt a lump in her throat. “Next thing I knew, I was standing in Captain Forehead’s office, wondering who the hell most of them were, and why I was there and…and not with you.”

“You mean, it was just like that? You don’t remember being anywhere?” Spike shook his head.

“No, luv. It was like it just happened. No time passed at all. For me anyway.”

“Wow,” Buffy whispered, gently circling her finger around and around on his chest. They lay in silence for a few minutes, and Buffy chewed her lower lip, pondering. He could practically feel the tension rising in her, and he caressed her back.

“Buff?” She smiled a little. He rarely ever called her that, but when he did, it send tingles down to her toes. It was sweet, yet so unlike him.

“Hmm?”

“I…I wish it’d been that way for you.”

“What?”

“I wish you didn’t remember. I wish you didn’t know what you were leaving. Maybe then you wouldn’t have come back…”

“Wrong?” She sat up a little. “Spike, I don’t regret what happened. If I hadn’t come back the way I was, you and I never would have…”

“And I never would have hurt you.”

“Hey, no past. Remember?”

“We’re talkin’ about the past now, luv, aren’t we?”

“That’s different. That was past Spike.”

“He’s still here.” Buffy placed her hand over his heart, and she shook her head.

“Maybe, but he’s different now.” Spike looked away, but she placed her fingertips against his cheek and made him look her in the eyes. They locked gazes, and words were lost to them, but soon, Buffy found herself trembling, but she wasn’t certain why. She closed her eyes, thinking about everything they’d just said. Something inside of her was bursting to come out. Finally, it hit her. She took his hand, and she squeezed it.

“I can’t remember anymore,” she whispered.

“What?”

“When I was with you, I…I was in a fog,” she whispered, looking down, feeling…what? Shame? “I remembered everything, I think. About where I was. I was happy there. I think I was. It’s gone now, Spike. Something happened. One day, it just left, like it was a dream, and I couldn’t remember what had happened. But it’s still with me. It’s here, and I can’t remember it. I just know that it was a good place. Whatever it was that I remembered, I think the fog lifted when I realized I had something to live for here.”

“And it wasn’t me.”

“You helped me through that time, Spike.”

“Or made it worse?”

“Don’t. Spike, please. Just don’t do this. I don’t blame you for anything that happened then. We both did things we regret, but it’s the past now.” She took a shaky breath, and she leaned in, kissing him softly. “I don’t want to think about it anymore. I just want to be with you, for whatever time we have left.”

“Don’t talk like that, Slayer. You’re not giving up on me.”

“No. I know. I just…I want to be prepared for the worst.” She let Spike pull her back into his arms, and she relaxed against him, staring off toward the wall. “I’m scared.”

“Nothin’ to be scared of, luv. Big Bad’s here, remember?” Buffy smiled a little.

“Yeah,” she breathed. Closing her eyes, she submitted herself to sleep, and soon, Spike too fell asleep, exhausted, sated, and happy for the first time in far too long.

Chapter 15

“Spike? Spike? Where are you?” Buffy asked, roaming the halls of their home. A little giggle escaped the mouth of the tot that was toddling along in front of her. “Go find Daddy. I think he’s hiding from us.” The baby clapped his hands together, and Buffy reveled in the sight of her son. Bright, blue eyes like his father, and naturally blonde hair like his mother’s. Of course, most thought he looked like Spike, and Buffy didn’t have the heart to explain that part of Spike’s budget each month was two bottles of peroxide.

“Daddyyyyyy,” the baby called. “I find you!” The boy rushed into the master bedroom, where Spike was sitting on the edge of the bed. Buffy frowned at the site of him, paler than usual, his eyes nearly blackened as he stared straight ahead.

“Spike?”

“Th…co…I…”

“Oh God,” she breathed.

“Daddy?” the boy called. Buffy knelt down in front of Spike and took his hands.

“Spike?” His lips moved, but only sputtering sounds came forth. His eyes darkened even more, and he finally grabbed firmly onto her shoulders. She jumped at the sudden contact. “Spike? You’re scaring me…”

“They’re coming.”

“What?”

“Get out.”

“Spike!” His face suddenly hardened and transformed into the face of an enemy. She gasped a little. It had been so long since she’d seen that face appear in anything but battle. He tightened his grip on her shoulders, bracing himself, bracing her.

“RUN!”

***

Buffy sat up in bed, gasping for breath, as the images from her dream settled down against her like a wet blanket. She looked over to see Spike sprawled out next to her sleeping soundly. How sound do vampires sleep, anyway? Though, she did recall having trouble waking him the evening after they’d first had sex, but she’d just had a nightmare next to him, and he hadn’t noticed. Frowning, she thought about checking to see if he was brea…Nice, Buffy. He doesn’t have a breath.

Gathering herself out of bed and pulling on some regular clothes, she headed silently out of the apartment. Peeking out of the door to make sure all was secure, she headed out and down the back stairs, which eventually led her out into the alley. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as soon as her feet were on the pavement.

She realized then just how achy she was. But, achy in a good way. Achy in the way that made her want to go right back upstairs and wake Spike from his sleep. But, he was sleeping so well…

“Slayer?” Not well enough, apparently. Buffy turned at the sound of his voice.

“Spike?”

“If you wanted to patrol, you coulda woke me.”

“I didn’t want to bother you.”

“It’s been a while since I had a good rough and tumble.” Something about those words brought a smile to the Slayer’s face. “But you might want these.” He handed her a couple of stakes.

“Right. Thanks.” Where was her head these days, anyway?

“I think I have mushy pregnant brains. Is that a condition? Maybe we should look into it.” They started off in silence, Spike’s hands shoved deep in his pockets, Buffy’s clutching both stakes. Finally, he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pockets, and he lit one up. Buffy glanced at him sideways. For a moment, she was really agitated.

“Vampires,” she muttered.

“’Scuse me?”

“You. You vampires,” she replied.

“So…that’s a derogatory term then, is it?”

“No. Just…ugh.”

“Ugh…there’s a statement.”

“Don’t make fun of me.” Spike didn’t know where the hell this was all coming from, but he sure didn’t like it. “It’s just, you don’t have to worry about anything. You don’t have to worry about getting sick, or…or having babies. Not even vampire women! All you do is walk around going ‘la la la’ I’m a vampire, I just have to stay out of the daylight, and you have to avoid pointy wooden things.”

“Yeah…and you’re just now realizing this?”

“No! That’s the point! You don’t have to go through any of this. You can smoke, because…because you don’t have something growing inside of you, sharing whatever you eat. I mean, well, vampires don’t, I guess, but some demons…maybe?”

“Buffy, what’s this about?”

“You’re smoking, Spike! You can’t smoke around our baby.”

“I wasn’t planning on it, luv,” he said slowly. “Is this…is it hurting the baby?” Buffy sighed, crossing her arms. It’s not the smoking that bothers me. It’s the fact that you’ll be around to watch our baby grow up. You’ll still be here when our great-great-great-great-great-great grandchildren are here.”

“Sorry,” she said softly. She decided to go the route of avoidance. It was a little easier than talking about how scared she was that she was going to die, and Spike was going to be left to raise their child. Not that he wouldn’t be a good father. He’d taken good care of Dawn those months when she was…well, dead. But an infant? In his world? She shivered a little. Demons didn’t gamble for babies too, did they?

She started off ahead, and Spike stayed back a few moments, taking a few quick drags off of his cigarette before tossing it down into a puddle. She could hear the sizzle, and when she turned around, he was walking toward her.

“Sorry,” she said again. “I thought Slayers were somehow…you know, immune to mood swings.” Spike chuckled, cupping her cheek in his hand.

“Sorry to break it to you, luv, but you’ve never been immune to those.”

“Hey!” she swatted at him, but he ducked out of her reach, pulling her with him against a wall, holding her close, his mouth joining with hers immediately. He felt her relax in his arms, and she leaned into him, her tongue tracing the outline of his lips, before he opened up, drinking her in. She moaned against his kisses, and he turned her, gently backing her against the wall, kissing her mercilessly. His hands first balled in her hair and then moved to her face, down her shoulders, and now, he was holding her, embracing her against him as he tried to bring her closer.

“God, I love you,” he whispered against her ear, as her hands caressed his abs through his shirt. She closed her eyes at his words. She couldn’t get enough. It was as if not only they were making up for lost time, but they were making up for what time they didn’t have together in the future. Stop that. Stop thinking that way. Not only was the past off limits, but so was the future. The here and now was what mattered, and she liked it that way. Still, her heart was restless, and her stomach was doing flip flops. Or was it the baby? She wasn’t sure, but she didn’t want him to ever stop kissing her, because the moment they stopped, the world began spinning again, and she didn’t want that.

“Well well, what do we have here?” Spike pulled back, and both he and Buffy turned in the direction of the voices. It was so dark that even Buffy’s keen Slayer sight couldn’t make out more than the silhouettes of their company, but she was certain Spike could see much better.

“Fresh meat,” one of them laughed, like a predictable villain in any movie.

“And, isn’t it romantic? All over each other. Such passion. Makes the blood hotter.” Buffy slipped a stake into Spike’s hand.

“Seriously?” she asked, stepping forward. “Did someone tear you out of a Danielle Steel novel? Because if you must know, passion makes the blood saltier, and…”

“And how might you know that, little girl?”

“Oh, I don’t,” Buffy said sheepishly. “But my boyfriend does.” Spike glanced at her in the darkness. Boyfriend, eh? At the same time, she looked at him. Yeah, that’s what I said. Damn. That was kinda lame, wasn’t it?

“Oh yeah? What’s he know about blood?” Buffy could practically hear the glee jumping from nerve to nerve through Spike’s body, as he put on his game face and stepped just enough into the moonlight to show their stalkers exactly who…or what he was. He saw the confidence drain from their faces just a little.

“Oh, man, sorry. Didn’t know you already had this one.”

“Clean the slime out of your ears, you stupid git. Didn’t you hear what she said?” The vampires looked at him and then at Buffy, who stepped into the light as well. He pulled his arm around her, smirking. God, I love that smirk. Buffy cleared her throat. No time to think about that! “I’m her boyfriend.” That sounds so strange.

One of the vamps chuckled, and he motioned toward Buffy to step forward. She did so, with her hand secured tightly around the stake behind her back. She put on an innocent face.

“Sweetie,” he laughed, through his bared teeth. “Do you know what vampires do? They bite. They kill. They like it.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah. And you know what they like best?”

“What’s that?” she pondered.

“They like it when their kill puts up a fight. Nothing like it.” Buffy glanced at Spike, and he shrugged his shoulders. Turning back to the vamps, she smiled a half-cocked smile, almost a smirk that would make Spike proud.

“You mean…like this?” And she kicked him square in the chest, sending him flying back against the brick wall. She ran after him, and Spike jumped in, kicking the other vamp across the face, sending him down to the ground.

“Bitch!” Buffy’s vamp yelled. He licked at the blood that trickled out of his nose.

“Gross,” Buffy grimaced.

“Hey!” Spike said.

“Sorry?” she offered with a shrug, as she ducked and lifted to send her assailant flying over her and landing against the steel garbage can behind Spike. Spike ducked just in time, sending a kick into the gut of his attacker.

Spike couldn’t help but keep an eye on Buffy as she rushed after her opponent, and for that instant, his guard was down, letting his own opponent get a sharp blow to his jaw in.

“Bloody hell,” Spike growled, laying into him, taking him by the throat. He raised his arm, stake fully in grasp, and he brought it down, feeling the flesh and muscle beneath the vampire’s breast tear, sink, pull away, as he went right for the heart. In a moment, all that was left was dust.

Nearby, Buffy let out a little gasp, and Spike turned on his heel in time to see her get a kick in the face, and he rushed to her assistance. As she was stumbling backwards, Spike drove the stake into the second vampire’s chest, turning him into a million little dust bunnies.

“Are you ok?”

“I had him,” Buffy pointed out, rubbing her nose.

“I know. Just helping’s all. You’re ok?”

“Fine. Stop asking.” Spike sighed, putting the stake into his coat pocket. “I just got distracted.”

“By what?” he asked. Buffy hesitated for a moment. “Buffy?”

“I felt something,” she said quietly, looking down at her stomach. Spike’s gaze drifted there too, and without thinking, he reached out, placing his hands there.

“The baby? It kicked or…?”

“I think it was a contraction.”

“How do you know?”

“It felt like a cramp, only a lot worse,” she said quickly.

“Let’s get you back then, eh?”

“It was just a second. But that’s all it takes. I knew that, and…”

“Yeah? And so did I.” He maneuvered them into the light and lifted up his shirt to show a dark bruise forming on his side. She placed her hand gently over it, only for him to suck in a sharp breath.

“Boy, we’re a pair, aren’t we?”

“That we are, luv. Come on. Let’s get back to Hell Beastie Headquarters.”

Chapter 16

“Oi! Open up!” Angel looked up from the prophecy text he was reading, and realizing it was Spike calling for him and banging on the door, he tossed the book aside and rushed over. When he opened the door, he found Spike wincing in pain, but more than that, his eyes were full of worry. Immediately, he knew.

“Where is she?”

“Our room,” Spike said, taking off down the hall. Angel felt his chest tighten at those two words. Our room?

“What happened?”

“She had a…a pain. A contraction, that’s it.” Angel swallowed hard, trying not to think about the prophecy, but it was difficult not to. Destroy, before the child’s first breath is taken, the child or his mother. “Maybe Percy…er…Wesley can fix it.”

“Spike…”

“And Fred. She’s book smart too.”

“Spike…”

“We can help her, and…I’ll…”

“Spike!” Spike spun around at Angel’s tone. “Spike. You know about the prophecy.”

“Sure I do, but we don’t have to…”

“It says the only way to stop it is to kill either Buffy or the baby before…”

“I bloody well know what it says, Peaches, and it ain’t gonna happen.” Angel felt himself growing more and more irritated, but he knew he had to stay calm and try to speak so that Spike could understand the rationale.

“Spike, if the prophecy is true, the minute that baby’s born, the world could be thrown into complete chaos.”

“It’s too soon to worry about…”

“It might not be. We need to be prepared. Spike, if the prophecy’s true, the baby has to…” Without warning, Spike turned, taking Angel by the collar and pinning him to the wall.

“Nothing is gonna happen to them. If you try anything, I’ll make sure you have a one way ticket to the next high noon, if you get my drift.”

“Spike, listen to…” Spike let go of Angel and headed off down the hall. Deciding not to press the issue anymore for the moment, Angel followed in silence. When they reached the apartment, Buffy was seated in an oversized chair with her feet propped up. Her face was pale, and her hands were clutching her stomach. A look of concentration and worry creasing her brow.

“Buffy?” Buffy looked up at Angel’s voice, and she smiled a little.

“I told him not to get you. I’m fi-ow!” She sucked in a sharp breath, and she let it out slowly. Spike moved to kneel down next to the seat, while Angel knelt down at the other side. The two stared at each other for a minute, and Buffy would have rolled her eyes if it wasn’t for the intense pain raging through her body.

“I’ll get Wesley up here. He…he knows a thing or two about mystical pregnancies, and he might be able to check you out and see what’s going on.” Buffy nodded, trying not to show how scared she was, but when Spike placed his hand over hers on her belly, she started trembling.

“It’ll be alright, pet. You’ll see. Everything…” He cleared his throat. “Just…don’t worry about it right now.”

“What if it’s true, Spike?” Angel watched as Buffy directed all of this emotion and worry at Spike and not at him. It wasn’t very long ago that he’d been the only one that she could bear her soul too. Just days ago, she’d come running to him, needing help, and when Spike returned, it was as if a line had been drawn between Buffy and Angel.

“I’ll go get Wesley.” Angel stood and left the room, and Buffy focused on Spike.

“I…thought it was just a cramp at first, but it’s really starting to hurt. Spike, I can’t have this baby now. It’s too soon, and…and the prophecy. We have to find a way to stop…”

“Shh, luv. It’ll be alright.” Truth be told, he was a nervous wreck. He knew nothing about being a doting, what, boyfriend? And more than that, he knew nothing about being a father. He hadn’t even known his own father growing up. He’d died after being run through with a knife during a bar fight a month before William-the-future-bloody was born.

“You’re right. You’re…oh!” She clutched her stomach again. “Something’s very wrong. Very…very wrong.” She winced, and Spike knew absolutely nothing that he could do for her. But within a few minutes, Angel and Wesley were rushing in, and Wesley looked very grave, and this worried Spike more than anything.

“You better have a fix to this problem,” Spike warned. “If something happens to…” He felt his worry and anger at this entire situation rising. “Just see to it nothing happens.”

“We should take her to a hospital,” Fred said, hurrying in the room.

“And tell them what, exactly?” Angel wondered. “That the baby can’t be born yet, because we don’t know if it’s going to reverse one of the only spells ever known? Or that it’s going to kill its own mother?” Fred scratched her head.

“Okay, let me get up to speed.” She began pacing the room. “Buffy’s death is supposed to usher the baby into the world, and all the slayers will lose their powers.”

“Except for Faith, apparently,” Buffy said slowly.

“I think we should hurry,” Wesley urged at that statement.

“But,” Angel pointed out, “it said something about killing either the baby or the mother before the baby’s first breath is taken will stop it all from happening.”

“That’s not bloody going to happen,” Spike warned.

“So killing Buffy would prevent her from dying?” Fred said skeptically. “That makes no sense. We know prophecies aren’t always what they seem.” She cleared her throat. “But I still think she needs to get to a hospital. The baby’s human, so a hospital’s exactly what we need. If it is born, it’s too early, and we don’t have the equipment to keep a baby that little alive.”

“Guys,” Buffy murmured. “I think it stopped.” Everyone turned to look at her. “I think…” She slowly began to stand, and Spike helped her. Nodding, she took a deep breath.

“It’s over.” Everyone let out a collective sigh of relief.

“Let’s get her downstairs for an ultrasound, anyway.”

“You have a doctor’s office here?” Buffy asked Angel.

“We have everything,” Wesley replied. “Come along, then.”

***

“Ladies and gentlemen, we’re now flying over the Panama Canal. If you look to your left…” The voice of the pilot faded out as Willow went back to her old spell book. She had been reading for hours. She’d read through her several hour wait at the airport, through her layover, and all through the flight so far. She hadn’t gotten anything out of it except for some very strange stares from people who happened to glimpse the title of one of her spell books.

“Come on. There has to be something.” She tossed yet another book aside and picked up another. The book opened easily to the center, where something was caught in between the pages. She froze for a moment. It was a very dry, very flat, very old portion of a Lethe’s bramble. Her heart skipped a beat and, and then a dull ache was left there. She couldn’t help it, but the tears flooded back. Holding the bramble up to her lips she kissed it softly and whispered, “Tara.” Shaking her head, she put the bramble aside and went back to the text. Focus, Willow. You’re supposed to be helping Buffy.

It was then, on the very page the bramble had been marking, that she saw exactly what she needed to fix everything, save the slayers from becoming potentials again, and prevent anyone from dying…except for, well, Buffy.

***

“There’s the head.”

“It’s huge,” Spike remarked.

“Yeah, I blame that on you.”

“Hey,” Spike pointed out. “Can’t blame me for that. Wasn’t like…”

“What’s that?” Angel asked, pointing to the screen.

“That would be the amniotic sac. The fluid level is good. Nothing wrong there. Everything looks normal.” Buffy eyed the former watcher.

“You’re full of surprises, Wesley. I never knew you were so good with an ultrasound machine.”

“I have many skills.”

“Wesley: Warrior Princess,” Spike murmured, eliciting a slight giggle out of Buffy.

“Would you stop making jokes?” Angel asked. “This is Buffy’s life on the line here.”

“Angel…”

“Trying to lighten the mood, mate. She’s feeling better, aren’t you, luv?”

“I am, Angel. We’re going to figure this out. We just need…”

“What’s this?” Wesley asked, breaking up the conversation.

“What’s what?” Buffy wondered.

“Something wrong?” Spike asked.

“It looks normal to me,” Fred pointed out, stepping closer to look at the screen, tapping a pen against her lips as she studied the screen. “Oh…oh my.”

“What?” Angel asked. It looked normal to him, too; very similar to what it had looked like during Darla’s ultrasound. Of course, Wesley and Fred wouldn’t remember that.

“It appears…well…” Wesley said slowly. Buffy half expected him to pull off his glasses and start cleaning them like Giles.

“What is it?” Buffy asked. “What’s wrong with my baby?”

“Nothing. I…I don’t suppose, Angel, that the prophecy said anything about twins?”

“What?” Spike and Buffy asked at the same time.

“What? No. It said something about the son. It didn’t say anything about two.”

“There can’t be two, can there? My doctor in New York didn’t say anything…”

“You’re sure it’s not just two-headed?” Spike wondered, getting an extremely annoyed glance from Buffy. Spike shrugged and gestured toward himself. “Well? I am a vampire.”

“Great. Your demon-ness made our baby two headed.”

“It’s not two headed,” Wesley promised. “But it’s not one baby either. I believe you’re having twins, Buffy.”

“Two boys?”

“I can’t tell from this angle.” He moved the wand around, but he shook his head.

“I can’t tell.” He looked at Angel. “I don’t think this prophecy is anything we’re expecting it to be.” He looked at Buffy. “But just to be safe, we’ll keep looking for answers.”

***

“Twins? Great, so not only am I having a giant baby, I’m having two giant babies. With large heads. Thanks to you.”

“Hey, I didn’t know it was gonna happen, luv.”

“Yeah. I guess not.” She slipped under the covers. “I’ll feel better with Giles gets here. Maybe he’s found something.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly. Buffy eyed him.

“You surprised me tonight. You weren’t slinging around names or…”

“I was worried about you.”

“Me too.”

“I guess when we do something, we do it well, eh pet?”

“I guess so. I can’t believe this. Spike, what are we going to do with two babies? I mean, we’re not the most parental people in the world. I couldn’t even get my fifteen year old sister to go to school on time? How am I going to…”

“One step at a time, Slayer.”

“Yeah. One step at a time.” She shook her head again. “It’s just starting to feel like these steps are starting to get farther away. I don’t feel like this is real.”

“Does this feel real?” he asked, caressing her cheek with the back of his hand. She closed her eyes and nodded slightly.

“That feels real. I just…” Spike’s hand had moved and was now caressing her thigh. His gaze had traveled there too, but when Buffy stopped speaking, he looked up, only to find that she had gone pale again. Now, when she looked at him, her lips trembled, and she tried to speak.

“Buffy? Buffy? What…” And without a moment’s notice, her eyes rolled back, and she collapsed against the pillows. “Oh God. No. No. Buffy!” He knelt over her, gently shaking her shoulders. “Slayer! Damn it, stop it. No games. Slayer? Buffy?” She was unresponsive, and he couldn’t even tell if she was breathing. God, he wanted to breathe life into her, but he was damned. He had no breath. He couldn’t help her. “Buffy!” He had lost her once. He wasn’t going to lose her again.

Chapter 17

“What’s wrong with her?” Spike asked, sitting at Buffy’s bedside. “She just…she was talking to me, and then…nothing.”

“It appears that she’s slipped into a coma, but the babies appeared healthy. It has to be a side effect to whatever mystical energy impregnated her.”

“So this is my fault, is it?”

“It’s the Senior Partners,” Angel seethed. They’re the reason I had the necklace, aren’t they? They’re the reason I brought it to Sunnydale.”

“Any way you can get in contact with them?” Fred asked. Getting a glance from Angel, she sighed. “Stupid question.”

“Not even Gunn’s been able to reach them.”

“Giles will be here soon. We’ll wait for him…”

“What if she’s dying?”

“I’ll try and contact the senior partners, but I can’t guarantee…” Something in Angel's words hit a nerve with Spike.

“Wait a sodding minute.”

“Spike?”

“This is your fault.”

“What?”

“You came prancing into Sunnydale on your big white horse with that shiny little trinket. You brought that to us. I wore the bloody thing, and the next thing I know, I’m floating around haunting the rooms of your sodding company!”

“Spike,” Fred said softly, “Angel didn’t know.”

“He knew something big and nasty would come of it. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have offered to stay and be the big hero. Had to be noble, didn’t he?”

“Spike, shut up,” Angel said angrily. “I didn’t know what was going to happen. I’d have gladly been the one to…”

“Yeah, so you could be with her now, eh? You don’t even know her. You might have known the girl she was, but I know the woman she is now.” Feelings of anger that he’d tried to hold back for the past century had boiled up to this very moment. He’d never hated Spike more than he hated him now. Lunging forward, he took the other vampire by the throat, pinning him to the wall, a reverse of earlier.

“You don’t know anything about me and Buffy. Don’t even start trying to tell me you know her better than I know her. I might not have her heart now, but I know it. I know how she smiles, how she laughs. I know how she loves. You might have that part of her, but I’ll always be in her heart.”

“Sure, mate,” Spike said with an angry smirk. “But she’ll never love you like she used to. She loves me.”

“Can we stop with the macho demonstration, please?” Fred asked. “Buffy might be able to hear you, and I’m sure that if she can, she’s trying to roll her eyes right now. Get over yourselves! This isn’t about you. It’s about her. She loves you both, but she’s made her choice. Angel, you have to accept that. Spike, you have to accept that Angel’s always going to have a place in Buffy’s life.” Wesley, having not even attempted to stop the two before, walked over and gave Angel’s arm a little tug.

“We have work to do.” Angel and Spike’s mutual glare held out another few seconds before Angel backed off and left with Wesley.

“You need to work together, Spike,” Fred said quietly, checking Buffy’s pulse. “I’m not a doctor, and I’m not a very good nurse. None of us are. Buffy needs you both, but if we can’t help her out of this, we need to take her to someone who can.”

***

Spike was finally alone with her. Everyone had cleared out to research, but his mind wasn’t on books. It was on the Slayer. Her hand was so small in his, and the fact that she was so pale frightened even him, a vampire. It wasn’t until he saw how pale she was now that he realized how different they must look together on a normal day.

“I’m here, luv,” he whispered, stroking the back of her hand. “Feel like a bloody fool. Don’t know which way is up. Can’t do a sodding thing to help you.” He cocked his head to the side and gazed at her. “Never thought in a million years I’d be sitting at a slayer’s bedside, holding her hand, willing her to wake up. Funny things we do for love, eh?” With his free hand, he rubbed at his temple. Vampires might not be able to die without direct sunlight or a nice little stake through the heart, but they could feel unbearable pain, and while this headache was nothing compared to the pain in his soul, he wished it would just go away.

It was quiet. He could see the slight rise and fall of her chest, and it was enough to keep him going. He wondered if she could hear him. Could she feel him? Not even twenty-four hours ago, they were tangled up in each other’s arms, neither one thinking about the future, and now, that was all he could think about.

It was easy not to care before he got his soul. It was easier before he knew her. When he’d gotten the chip, he’d hated her, wanted nothing more than to kill her, but it hadn’t taken long for him to see her; for him to start changing. When he’d fallen, it killed him to know he’d never have her. She hated him. He’d seen to that. He’d tried to make it worse, make her hate him more, after she rejected him. But then Joyce had gotten sick, and all he could do was feel a twinge in his dead heart. All he could do was the one thing his instincts told him to do. Comfort her. His instincts had changed. The one thing that made him a killer; made him evil. Sure, he still longed for the taste of warm, fresh blood once in a while, but it was nothing compared to the way he felt when he was holding her, loving her, while she was loving him back.

Look what love’s done to you, mate. It’s turned you soft. Turned you into a bleedin’ fool. He shook his head. But there was no place he’d ever want to be. Not now. Not after everything they had been through. Vampire or not, he was going to do right by her. He was going to make her happy; make her well again.

“I know you deserve better than me, and God knows why you love me. But I’ve seen it. You don’t look at me the way you used to. You look at me like…like I’ve never seen you look at anybody. Not even…him.” He nodded toward the door, toward Angel, wherever he was in the building. “I don’t understand it. I don’t deserve it. I don’t even think you understand it. It’s real, isn’t it? I’m not imagining?” He shook his head. What was real right now, anyway? She was unconscious, in a coma, because of his children. Children he never expected he’d ever be able to have. Children he still couldn’t believe existed. He sure as hell never expected it.

“We’ll figure this out, Slayer. We will. It just might take a little time.” Time. It’s all he had. But it wasn’t enough when it came to her. It was never enough.

“Anybody home?” Spike looked over at the door, hearing a familiar voice, followed by a knock. Willow peeked in, seeing Spike sitting at Buffy’s bedside. A lump rose in the girl’s throat.

“Spike?”

“Hey Red,” he said quietly. “Surprised to see me?”

“Well…not really. Giles filled me in. But, yeah…still not expecting to see you, you know, after you…”

“Yeah,” Spike replied quietly.

“Um…Harmony directed me up here.”

“Oh. Yeah. You seen Angel?”

“No, I thought he’d be here. I haven’t seen anyone familiar…well, except for you.”

“They’re researching.”

“Oh,” Willow said slowly, moving closer to the bed, seeing her friend lying there. It still startled her to see Buffy pregnant. Even more pregnant than she’d been the last time they saw one another. “How is she?”

“I don’t know. It’s like…it’s like she’s hibernating or something. Her breathing and her heart rate…they’re so slow. But she’s alive.” Willow nodded.

“And the baby?”

“Babies,” Spike corrected her. Willow looked up at him in alarm.

“What?”

“Wesley…he did an…erm…sonosound…ultragram thing.”

“Ultrasound,” Willow muttered with a nod. “Two? The prophecy…”

“I’m starting to think this prophecy is bollocks. They’re off researching, and I’m starting to wonder if we should just take her to a sodding hospital already.” Willow, realizing exactly why she was there, nodded.

“Right, but just to be safe…” She pulled out a spell book.

“What’s all this?”

“I know how to fix it.”

“What? How?” Willow thought back to the piece of Lethe’s bramble she’d found, and she smiled sadly.

“Let’s just say I had help from an old friend.”

“How’s it work?”

“It’ll take care of the prophecy. From all angles, I think.”

“So…” Spike turned his attention back toward Buffy. “What do you have to do?” There was a pause from Willow, and then:

“I have to kill Buffy.”

Chapter 18

“Have you completely gone off your rocker?” Spike asked, standing up, standing between Willow and the bed. Standing between a very powerful witch and a very vulnerable slayer.

“Spike, let me explain.”

“I understand you’re trying to fix it, but I don’t think killing her will bloody help!”

“Spike!” Willow exclaimed. “I know what I’m doing.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“It’ll only be for a minute, but I can bring her back. The prophecy didn’t say anything about that.”

“Didn’t say anything about twins either. You ask me, the prophecy’s a bunch of bollocks.”

“It might be, but don’t you…you know, want to be safe?”

“I don’t want her to die!”

“It’ll be a second. She won’t even know.”

“I’ll know, Red!” he seethed. “You’re not touching her.”

“Look,” Willow said, shoving the book at him. “Just for a split second. Buffy’ll be dead, and the prophecy…”

“What about the other slayers?”

“The babies won’t be born yet. So the prophecy won’t be fulfilled. Besides, what was it? Something about killing either Buffy or the baby before the first breath? It’ll take care of it, Spike. It’ll work.” Spike thought about the words for a minute, and he looked back at Buffy’s still form.

“You’re sure you can do this?”

“I can, Spike.” She didn’t sound a hundred percent confident, but who would, putting their best friend’s life in their hands?

“And you can bring her back?”

“The spell’s right here. You can look at it yourself. I’ve brought her back before. But this’ll be easier. She’ll only be gone a moment. Just a second. Her soul won’t have time to…”

“Red, I hate to burst your bubble, but when she came back, she said it was longer…she was gone a lot longer wherever she was than here on Earth. Our second could be days or longer for her.” What if she comes back and doesn’t want me anymore? What if she hates me for letting this happen?

“We’ll have to take that chance if we want her back, Spike.” Spike thought hard about this, knowing only that if he was going to have her in his life, this was their chance to make it happen.

“What do you need?”

“I have everything. I just need you.”

“Me?”

“Or Angel.”

“Why?”

“It says here…hold on.” She took the book back from Spike and flipped through the pages. “Ah. Here. Look.” Spike looked over her shoulder. “Umm…the essence of...”

“The dead? Well, I guess that would be me.”

“If you don’t want to, I’ll get Angel.”

“Leave him out of it. It’s partly my bloody fault she’s here. Guess it’s partly his too, but I’ll help her. She wouldn’t be pregnant if it wasn’t for me wearing that bloody amulet. What do I have to do?”

“It just says you have to hold her hand.” Spike chuckled under his breath.

“That won’t be a problem. Been holding her hand, hoping she’d wake up and punch me in the head or something. Anything would be better than this.” Willow made her way to Buffy’s bedside and sat down on the opposite side Spike had been sitting. He resumed his vigil by the bed too.

“Oh wait!” Willow exclaimed. “I do need something.”

“What?”

“The amulet. Do you have it?”

“Angel does. Probably down in the lab still.”

“Could you ask him for it?”

“I’m not leavin’ her, Red.”

“Spike, I…I’d like a minute with her.” He eyed her. “Please?” Sighing, he nodded, knowing Buffy would hit him upside the head if she knew he gave her best friend a hard time.

“Alright. I’ll be back in two shakes.”

“Thanks.” Spike nodded and headed out of the room. Willow frowned and took Buffy’s hand in hers.

“Hey, Buff,” she said softly. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but we’re going to get you out of this. I just hope…I hope the results are better than last time. But if it’s not, and if you hate me, that’s ok, because we need you. We need you here, and we need the rest of the slayers too. The army’s growing, and from what Andrew says, Europe’s slowly becoming covered in vamp dust.” She smiled a little. “But that doesn’t make you any less important. You’re the Slayer. I don’t care what Faith says. You were a slayer long before she ever was, and despite what anybody might think, despite what she thinks, you’re the strongest one there is. So we need you, Buffy.” Willow took her friend’s hand, and she frowned.

Buffy’s skin was cool, almost as cool as a vampire’s. It was frightening how still her body was. How peaceful and how…dead she looked at the same time. Buffy had changed a lot in the past couple of years. She’d had to grow up a lot and take care of her sister, as well as her friends, and then she’d had to save the world. She had to save the world from me.

“He loves you. I knew he did before, but I’ve never seen him so worked up over you before…not like this, anyway. Buffy, I know we couldn’t understand your relationship with him before, but when we get you out of this, me and you? Major brownie pig out slumber party like when we were in high school. We’ll talk about boys…well, you’ll talk about boys, and I’ll talk about…” She frowned again, swallowing a lump in her throat.

I’m about to voluntarily kill my best friend, and I can’t stop thinking about somebody who’s already gone. She squeezed Buffy’s hand, and she took a deep breath.

“This will work. I know it will. I’ll wait for Giles to get here, but I’m going to do this, Buffy, and you’re going to come back, and this will all be over.”

“Got it, Red.” Spike came walking in, Angel, Fred, Wesley, Gunn, and even Lorne right behind him.

“Willow?” Angel asked. Willow got up and came over to give him an awkward hug. Despite the fact that he’d once tried to kill her and that he was her best friend’s ex-boyfriend, it was still nice to see a familiar face, when she normally never saw anybody she knew except for Kennedy.

“Hey,” she said quietly.

“Spike said you’re going to kill Buffy?” Gunn asked with raised eyebrows.

“What’s this about, Willow?” Angel wondered, as Spike silently stalked over to sit at Buffy’s bedside.

“It’s in this book,” Willow pointed out. Angel skimmed the pages, with Wesley reading over his shoulder. Fred poked her head around to get in on the reading too, while Willow moved back toward the bed.

“You’re sure this will work?” Wesley asked shortly after finishing reading a small portion of the text.

“Do you have any other ideas?” Willow wondered. It was marked for a reason. It had to be.

***

“Where are we going, Mommy?”

“Not much further.” Buffy looked at her child in the back seat, bucked securely in the safety seat. The night air cooled the car, and Buffy cranked up the heater.

“I’m sleepy, Mommy.”

“I know. Just close your eyes and go to sleep. I’ll wake you when we get there.” She watched through the rearview mirror as the child’s eyelids drooped, until he was completely asleep. She looked over into the passenger seat to see Spike staring straight ahead. “Spike?”

“They’re coming. They’re close.”

“It’s ok. We’ll be there soon.”

***

Giles had arrived about an hour ago, and after several long minutes of discussion with Willow, Wesley, Angel, and Spike, he had agreed with them, believing that the best possible measure to take at this moment was Willow’s spell, and he was going to be there all the while just in case anything went wrong.

“Anything happens to her, and…”

“It’ll be my fault, Spike.” Willow’s fear was obvious in the way her voice shook, and Spike figured he must be bloody crazy to be letting her do this. But, there was no other way. If they ignored the prophecy, thousands of people could die, if it came true. The best possible thing to do was to make a clean cut, heading it off before all the chaos could start.

“She’ll wake up, won’t she?”

“She should. If she doesn’t…”

“We’ve failed,” Giles finished for her. “This should shatter the prophecy, thus waking Buffy out of this…this state.”

“We should get started.” Willow looked around at everyone except Spike and Giles. “Stand back there.” The commanding tone of her voice was a change from the shy school girl attitude she’d possessed a long time ago. She’d come a long way, and he only hoped that her strong powers could bring Buffy back.

“What do I do?” Spike asked.

“Hold the amulet, and hold her hand. Press it against her palm.”

“Like this?”

“Good.” She glanced at Giles. “Ready?”

“More importantly, are you ready?”

“I have to be,” Willow replied. She took a few calming breaths, knowing that the future of the world was riding on her success right now. Opening the book to the right page, she studied the pages for a few minutes. Nobody in the room made a sound out of fear of distracting her.

Willow began the chant, whispering words of an ancient and powerful tongue. Some was Latin, but some couldn’t be discerned, even to Lorne, who had heard just about every language known to man, woman, or demon.

Spike’s eyes stayed fixated on Buffy. He was willing her to wake up. Willing her to open her eyes and for this nightmare to be over.

Willow’s words grew louder, stronger, faster. Spike found himself holding his unnecessary breath. He was squeezing her hand, and he only hoped that this time around, he wouldn’t be turned into ashes and embers.

His fingers began to tingle. Was it the amulet or the fact that he was gripping her fingers so tightly? Last he knew, you couldn’t cut off a vampire’s circulation. They had none. Come on, Slayer. Come on. Do this. Wake up. Come back to me.

“By the will of Osiris…” Spike continued clutching her hand. And in a moment, Willow’s words stopped, and just like that, Buffy’s hand went limp. He almost called out to her, but he closed his eyes, willing himself to trust Red to get this done. Please.

Please, do this right. Please. Bring her back. Bring her back to me. Willow began to chant again, this time louder, and Spike felt his hand begin to warm, and he squeezed his eyes shut.

“What’s going on?” Gunn whispered, only to get a glare from Angel and a look that could kill.

“Ah,” Spike groaned, as the warmth turned to pain. “Bloody…”

“…bring the lost soul back to its corporeal body…” She continued chanting, and Spike felt himself starting to burn. No. Not again. No… “Return to us!” Spike felt a sudden surge of energy pass through him from the amulet, and felt it fade again but this time into Buffy. Within a moment, the entire room filled with light as bright as that which had burned him up months ago, and the force of it all sent him flying back, landing with a thud against the wall and falling into a heap on the floor.

Then everything went still.

Chapter 19

Faith woke with a start in her dark room. Her heart was pounding. Something wasn’t right. Giles had left yesterday to help Buffy, and now, Faith was beginning to get the sneaking suspicion that she should have gone along.

She rolled over in the bed to see Robin sleeping soundly. She thought for a moment about her options. Robin was a good man, but she knew they were only together because they’d avoided almost probable death together, and they didn’t have anyone else. Their goals were stark contrasts to each other. He wanted children, she didn’t. He wanted a white picket fence, a big, dumb dog, and a big mini-van to take family trips in. She preferred the solitude of a new hotel room every other night, she sucked with animals, and she’d much rather ride a Harley or even a little two-seated sports car than some big, clunky van.

The sex was good, though. She had to admit that. He was the best she’d had in a long, long time, if ever. He was the only man she’d let get close enough to be on top, to make love to her instead of the other way around. It wasn’t just pure, animal sex. It was tender, and she did like that. But it wasn’t fair to him to let him hold out hope that she might change her mind some day.

Suddenly, her heart was racing, and her throat was clenching. She was panicking. If she stayed much longer, that would be her future. She’d either give in and live the kind of life she swore she would never have after her family split up, or she’d hurt him and hate herself even more. It was better this way.

Slipping out of bed, Faith found her clothes and her shoes. Silently she stuffed a few things into her suitcase, which was only partially unpacked. She never expected to stay in one place for too long.

Scrawling out a few words on a piece of paper, she silently placed it down on her pillow. Moving to the other side of the bed, she gently placed her hand against his cheek.

“Goodbye, Robin.” I’ll be back. I just don’t know how long I’ll stay.

***

The room had reverted back to his former dull, sunlit look, and Spike was propped up against the wall, rubbing the back of his head. He felt as if he’d been thrown off of the roof of a twenty story building. A dull ache was now throbbing painfully deep in his head, worse than any headache the chip had ever given him.

“Bloody hell,” he murmured, blinking and shaking his head a little. Everyone stared in shock at him, as he struggled to rise to his feet. Fred was the only one to move over and help him up.

“Are you alright?”

“Fine. Just got the soddin’ sense knocked out of me for a minute.” With that said, he rushed over to Buffy’s bedside. Her eyes were still closed, and she now had the faintest hint of an impression mark from the amulet on the palm of her hand. Spike, still holding the amulet, noticed the same mark beneath it on his palm. We’re the same. We’re soul mates. Lucky I’ve got my bloody soul. Why isn’t she awake? She should be awake, right? I feel like a semi ran over me a dozen times, and for what? Why is she still asleep?

“Think you got your wires crossed, Red. She’s not awake.” Willow looked around nervously. All eyes were on her. I messed up. God, what did I do? How do I fix it?

“I don’t understand. I did everything. I did both. I brought her back. I…”

“Look,” Giles said softly, kneeling down beside the bed. “Her breathing’s returned to normal.” Despite the guilt weighing heavy on the witch’s heart, this bit of news brightened her spirits. Still, why wasn’t she opening her eyes?

“I think,” Willow said softly, “I think she’s just sleeping.” Spike gently took Buffy’s hand, and he gave it a little squeeze.

“Buffy? Slayer?” He saw Buffy’s eyes move beneath her lids, and he felt a lump form in his throat. “Buffy? Can you hear me?” The room was deathly silent, and Spike could almost hear Buffy’s heart softly beating beneath her breast. Then, he could feel the temperature rise in the room, and he looked around to see if anybody else had noticed. It must have been a slight change, because nobody seemed to flinch about it. He brought her hand to his cheek and cupped it against his face. It was the most emotionally vulnerable any of them had glimpsed him before, even when Buffy had died saving Dawn; saving the world. Nobody knew what to say, but Angel couldn’t help but wish that there was something he could do to help the woman he loved; the woman who used to love him.

“Spike, maybe we should,” Gunn began, but Spike’s words interrupted him.

“Please, Buffy. Wake up.” It was a pitiful plea, especially for a vampire, but it came from the heart. And as he uttered those words, the amulet began to shine again. Spike felt the light vibrate through his entire being, and he groaned in pain, dropping the amulet to the floor. Not again.

“Spike?” Willow asked. Everybody looked at one another, as Spike fell to his knees on the floor. He clutched at his chest, feeling it tightening. He started to groan in pain, and Willow moved to him, but the moment she touched him, a force threw her back, causing her to hit the wall. Nobody else moved to help him, and Giles moved to help Willow up.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah. I’m…ow.” She rubbed the back of her head and blinked a few times, shaking her head. “Guess I didn’t see that coming.” Giving Giles a nod that she was ok, the two of them made their way to Buffy’s bedside.

“Look. She’s waking up.” Sure enough, Buffy was opening her eyes. She squinted into the light, her forehead creasing in confusion.

“Spike?” she murmured. Spike let out a hiss, as he clutched at his head, now.

The pain turned to searing agony, and Spike started to scream, throwing Buffy out of her state of unconsciousness completely. She sat up in the bed, seeing Spike writhing in pain on the floor.

“Spike?!” she asked, as if she’d been awake this whole time. “Oh God. Do something!”

“We can’t,” Willow said, rubbing the back of her head, as Spike fell back onto the floor, writhing, clutching at his chest and at his head, ripping at his shirt, as if it hurt just to wear it. Buffy started toward Spike, but Giles pulled her back.

“Don’t. It threw Willow back against the wall.” Not thinking, she broke free from Giles, and she knelt down to Spike, putting her hands on his shoulders to hold him down. She wasn’t thrown back. Instead, she seemed to calm his pain just a little, though he still groaned in agony, just not as loudly.

“Spike?”

“Get back. Please,” he moaned, not wanting her to get hurt because of him. Buffy wouldn’t move, but in a moment, she felt arms pulling her back. “Don’t want to….hurt you…” I never want to hurt you. Just let me die…

“Buffy, come on.” It was Angel. Don’t take me away from him. Please, don’t take me away.

“No! He’s in pain!” Buffy yelled. She looked helplessly at her best friend. “Wil, please. Do something.” He wasn’t just any vampire that the world would be a better place without. Despite the fact that he was a vampire, he was a good man. He had a soul. The world needed him. Buffy needed him. “Please, Wil!” Willow started flipping wildly through the spell book, trying to think of something to do to stop Spike’s misery. Despite the things he’d done in his past, he now wanted only to help Buffy, so she couldn’t just let this amulet destroy him. Not again.

As everyone stood around, Spike’s body continued to convulse, and Willow’s fingers shook against the thin, rattling pages. Buffy stared into Spike’s eyes, tears flooding hers.

“It’s ok, luv,” he groaned. “Get back. Don’t…I don’t…it hurts.”

“It’s ok,” she whispered. “You didn’t leave my side. I won’t leave yours.”

Willow began to chant something, but she didn’t sound very certain about it. Spike’s pain continued to grow, as Willow continued to chant.

“Look at me. Look into my eyes,” Buffy finally stated. “Spike. Look at me! Focus. It’s ok. It’s like with the chip?”

“Worse,” he managed. Buffy nodded.

“Ok. Ok, Spike. You have to look at me. Look. Spike!” She was growing frustrated and terrified. “Spike. Look at me!” She held him down harder, as his body shook more and more violently. Angel started to move forward to get her out of harm’s way, but Wesley held him back.

“Wait,” he murmured.

Spike unclenched his fists and looked directly into Buffy’s eyes, and Willow stopped chanting. Uncertain as to what actually relieved him of this attack, Willow’s spell or Buffy’s gaze, he finally relaxed, and the pain went away, leaving him panting and spent on the floor. Sighing, Buffy bowed her head, thankful that Spike was still with her.

Spike, however, remained very still, a look on his face that Buffy had never seen before.

“Spike?” she whispered.

“Buffy…I…” He reached for her hand, and she took it. Everyone slowly gathered around. Spike closed his eyes, gasping for breath. Ragged breath. “Oh God. I can…I can feel it.”

“What?” Buffy asked, eyes wide. “What is it?” He placed her hand on his chest, and she began to tremble. “Oh my God.”

“What is it?” Lorne asked from the background.

“I can feel it,” he repeated, before passing out against the carpeted floor. Buffy’s hand pressed hard against his chest, and she could feel the thumpthumpthump steady against her palm. Looking up at her friends; her family, she struggled for the words, until they came tumbling out.

“He’s human.”

Chapter 20

The thick silence swarmed about the room, tucking itself in every nook and cranny, curling around each and every person like a sly cat seeking affection. Buffy now sat at the bedside, while Spike lay unconscious. Human. He’s human. Her head was spinning. She couldn’t figure out how this happened, why it happened, or how she was able to touch him when Willow, a powerful witch, was tossed across the room by the force. It had to be the amulet, which remained on the floor, everyone wary as they stepped around it, trying not to disturb the air around it, in case it decided to start glowing again.

“I don’t understand,” Giles said, wiping off his glasses and breaking the silence. He looked over at Willow. “What was the spell?”

“You can read it for yourself. Here.” She handed him the book, eyeing him eagerly as he read. Shaking his head, he handed the book back to her. “It had to be the amulet.”

“The amulet made him human,” Buffy said quietly. “First it kills him, then it brings him back. Then it makes him human.” She looked at Willow. Willow sat down next to her. “Is the prophecy…”

“It should be,” Willow nodded. “But I guess we won’t know for sure until the babies are born. There’ll either be a mass slaughter of de-powered Slayers, or, well, things will stay the same.” Buffy nodded.

“I don’t know how to thank you for…for everything, Wil.” Willow sighed heavily and swallowed the lump in her throat.

“I didn’t think I was gonna get it right. I mean, messing with the forces like that? The last time I did a major spell, all the potentials turned into Slayer. Obviously, that was of the good.”

“So was this,” Fred remarked. “Buffy’s back, and Spike…” She noticed the tension in Angel’s face, and her words trailed off.

“Spike’s human,” Wesley said, as if realizing it for the first time.

“I don’t even know what that means anymore,” Buffy admitted. “Human. I used to think of humans as the good guys with souls, and vampires the bad guys who were target practice. Then there was Angel.” She glanced at him with a fond smile. “That pretty much threw everything out of whack. Then, of course, I realized he was the only vampire with a soul.”

“Until Spike,” Giles replied.

“Yeah,” Buffy replied, placing her hand over his. God, it was so warm. He was so warm. She’d always wondered what he would feel like. She’d grown accustomed to the cool skin, but seeing the color turning his pale flesh a natural color made her wonder what it would feel like to feel his head, to feel their heat…Don’t think about that now. Way inappropriate.

A knock came to the door, and Fred moved to answer it. When she opened the door, Harmony stood there. She smiled sheepishly.

“Uh, boss?” Angel looked over in annoyance.

“What is it, Harmony?”

“You have a meeting in five minutes?”

“Cancel it.”

“They’re already here, and they’re…well, they don’t look happy.” Angel grimaced.

“Go on,” Gunn said. “We’ll stay here.”

“Actually,” Buffy spoke up, “I’d like to be alone with him.”

“Buffy, we don’t know what’s going to happen when he wakes up,” Giles pointed out.

“The repercussions of this change may be too much for him to handle right now,” Wesley agreed.

“It’s alright. I can take care of myself. He won’t hurt me.”

“If you need anything, we’ll be right outside,” Giles said sternly. He still obviously wasn’t too keen on the idea of Spike and Buffy being together, but it was what his Slayer wanted, and she’d been around long enough to be a pretty decent judge of character. Still, when it came to Spike, even as a human, he didn’t want to take any chances.

As everyone filed out of the room, Willow moved over to give Buffy a gentle hug.

“Thanks for being here, Wil,” Buffy whispered. I know you don’t think Spike’s good enough for me.

“Hey, what are best friends for?” Willow gave her a tired smile and left the room, leaving Buffy and an unconscious Spike in complete silence.

***

“Where are you?” Robin asked over the phone, as Faith made her way through LAX.

“I’m at the airport. Why?”

“Um, well, maybe it would be because you just took off in the middle of the night and didn’t even leave a note.”

“What? I left a note. Check under the bed. Maybe it blew off.” There was a pause on the other line, and then she could hear the crinkling of paper.

“’Had to go. Don’t know when I’ll be back. F.’ That’s it? That’s all I get?”

“What did you expect from me?”

“After all these months? Oh, I don’t know, maybe a goodbye in person?”

“Robin…”

“No, Faith, I have something to say here, so let me say it.” When he didn’t get an immediate response, he continued. “You’re so afraid of getting hurt that you put up this wall around yourself to keep others out. I thought I’d broken through it, but I guess I was wrong. I thought maybe you could stop and realize that there’s more in life than slaying.”

“And what are we doing, exactly? Recruiting an army of purring kittens? You knew what you were getting into when you signed up for it, Principal Wood.”

“I’m not talking about the army, Faith. I’m talking about you.”

“Look, you know me. I’m no good with relationships. You’re lucky I stuck around as long as…”

“You’re not fooling me, Faith. I know you’re scared, because this is new for you. And you picked the middle of the night to…”

“Buffy needs me,” Faith replied. “I have to go and see what I can do to help.”

“What makes you think you can help the situation any?”

“Maybe I can’t, but I can try. Look, I owe her that, alright?” After a few moments, Robin sighed.

“Just tell me this isn’t about the baby.” Faith closed her eyes as she boarded the plane.

“I have to go, Robin.” She hung up and stuck her phone in her carry on back. She couldn’t deny the fact that there were tears in her eyes, but she sure as hell was going to stop them from falling.

***

Buffy yawned as she sat next to the bed. She’d been sleeping for hours, so why was she tired? She looked down at her large belly. Oh. That would be why. Sighing softly, she pulled herself into the bed next to Spike, tucking herself under his arm, placing her hand against his chest. Feeling his heart beating there was magical. She smiled, closing her eyes, laying her head against his chest. She could hear it. It was so amazing. She felt so warm in his arms. Was it possible to love him anymore than she already did? She had grown to love the man Spike had become as a vampire, but now, that part of him was gone, wasn’t it? He wasn’t still a vampire, was he? Was it possible to be a vampire and have a heartbeat?

He was going to wake up soon. She could feel the muscles in his arms beginning to flex a little. He was going to wake up, and they were going to be together. Will he still love me? It would be an adjustment. I’ll have to protect him, for once. He’s going to grow old with me.” She couldn’t picture Spike as an old man. He’d been immortal and young for so many years. Was it going to catch up to him fast, or was he going to age like her? She hoped for the latter. She wanted as much time as possible with him. Maybe it wouldn’t work out. Maybe it would. But she wasn’t going to let him go without fighting for this. Maybe it started out a little twisted, but it caught them both by surprise, shocked and scared the hell out of them, when they’d fallen in love.

“Buffy?” Buffy looked up to see his lips pursed slightly, his forehead wrinkling as he raised his hand to rub his aching head.

“I’m here,” she whispered, adjusting herself to sit up and look at him.

“What happened?” He opened his eyes, blinking to adjust.

“You had…a jolt,” she said softly, smiling and curling her fingers in his. He smiled at her, smiled at the feel of her touch. She was so warm, yet something was different. She wasn’t as warm as usual. Bloody hell! It was because he was warm!

“My heart,” he stammered, “it’s…it’s beating.”

“Yes,” she said with a nod.

“I can…I can feel it.” He sucked in a sharp breath.

“That…that’s really different when you have to do it.” Buffy smiled, tears pooling in her eyes, reflecting there before him like giant oceans. Reflecting. He jumped out of the bed.

“Spike?” She got up to follow him into the bathroom, where he stood before the mirror. Her wonders were confirmed at that moment, when they both saw his reflection for the first time. He narrowed his gaze.

“My hair looks like this all the time?” Buffy laughed.

“That’s your first comment?”

“Well, don’t have much else to complain about, luv.” Buffy rolled her eyes, but it didn’t stop the tears from falling. She slowly wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his back. “What’s this all mean?”

“It means…no more blankets when you decide to go for a walk during the day. It means, no more drinking pig’s blood from the butcher shop. It means…you’re human. You’re here. You’re with me. And you don’t have to hide in the dark anymore.” His entire body felt as if it ignited, when her hand moved to his chest. He turned to pull her against him, and he placed his soft, warm hand against her cheek. “Please tell me you’re alright. Please tell me you want this.”

“I want to be with you,” he whispered. “Damn the consequences…of whatever this is.” Buffy swallowed hard, struggling with the words.

“You know this means you might not be able to…to fight, right? You’ll have your skill, but the strength.”

“If Principal Pretty Boy can fight, so can I. He might be the son of a slayer, but I was a vampire for over a hundred years.” Buffy smiled, wrapping her arms around him, resting her head against his chest. Spike looked in the mirror again. God, it was so strange. He was so used to the dark, to looking for a reflection and seeing nothing.

“My soul’s still here. And my heart…” He couldn’t get over the feeling of it. It was so new, yet it wasn’t as strange a sensation as he’d thought it would be. He hadn’t been able to fathom this happening, ever. But it had, and he didn’t want to question it. “At the risk of sounding like a ponce…” He tightened his arms around her, and she looked up into his eyes. They seemed so much bluer now. “You have my heart.” The smile on her face widened even more, and she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Good, ‘cause you do, and I’ll deny it all the way.” She laughed and shook her head.

“Shut up.” She claimed his mouth with hers again, feeling the way his warm lips glided over hers, sending a tingle down her spine. He heard a small giggle out of her, and he pulled back.

“What?”

“I don’t know. I’m just happy.” Gazing into her eyes, Spike could think of no place he’d rather be than…well, maybe not here, in Angel’s building, but in her arms was the best place he knew.

“It’s really over?” he wondered. “Red stopped the prophecy?”

“We’ll have to wait and see,” Buffy replied, a bit of concern in her tone, “but it’ll be alright. I’m sure of it.” She placed her hand against his cheek. “Spike, there’s a real possibility that you might have lost your…”

“Buffy, we’ll deal with it when it happens.” I spent my entire un-life relying on my instincts. What if she’s right? What if I’m weak? What if I’m no use to her anymore. No, you bleedin’ idiot. Don’t think about that. But what if she doesn’t want me? What if she prefers the darker side?

“Spike, I don’t want you charging into a fight not knowing.”

“I can take care of myself, Slayer. You know that more than anybody,” he bristled. She knew she’d hit a nerve, so she decided to let it go for now.

“Whatever happens,” she said, looking directly into his eyes, “I won’t let you go without a fight.” Spike’s heart truly skipped a beat for the first time in a lifetime. He’d forgotten how amazing that felt too.

“You won’t run off with the next vampire that suits your fancy?”

“Don’t even say that,” she insisted. “This is where I want to be. I don’t care if you have fangs. I don’t care if your face is all bumpy. I didn’t fall in love with that.”

“Yeah, but that’s part of who I was when you did.”

“But it’s not who you are.” She placed her hand over his heart. “This is who you are. Maybe it wasn’t beating all that time, but it was always working.” Spike was in awe. How was it she could make him love her even more with just her words. How was it so different now than it was before? It was still passionate, it was still exciting, but it was tender, loving, and still, primal. “I don’t care if you can throw ten vampires across the room or if you can’t even throw one. You’re still Spike. You’re still the one who helped me when nobody else could. You’re still the one who held me when I didn’t have anybody else to turn to.” She caressed his cheek with her fingers. “I love you, Spike. I love you.”

“I love you too, pet,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss her once again. It was staggering the way he didn’t have the lust for blood anymore. The thought of it made his stomach ache. How could he live so long on something that, to him, had tasted so good it could have been ambrosia of the gods, and now the thought and the memory of the taste made him sicken?

She was kissing him, her lips sliding against his. Her warm breath mixing with his. Intense. Two hearts beating instead of one. This was the way it was meant to be all along. He could be hers. He could give her a normal life. As long as I don’t bollocks it up.

“This is real,” she whispered, against his lips. She pulled back a little and buried her face against his chest. It was then that he felt her back shaking, and he heard a sob escape. He closed his eyes and rubbed her back, as she choked out her words. “I thought you were gone, Spike. You were gone. And I was stuck here. I never would have made it without you, Spike, after I came back. Then you went away, and you came back. You were driven crazy because of me.”

“The First had a big hand in that, luv.”

“I know, but you never would have gone after your soul if it wasn’t for…”

“For the things I did,” he pointed out. “I did what I had to do to make it right, because what I did to you was…”

“Spike,” she cried, “you died protecting me. That’s the man you are.” She stood back, looking him up and down. “Now you’re here. This is real. You’re real.”

“And I can give you a normal life…if you’ll let me.”

“I don’t give a damn about a normal life,” she breathed. “You should know that by now. If I wanted a normal life, I would have left Sunnydale and never come back years ago. I’ll never have a normal life, with or without you. But you get it. You do.” She wiped her nose. “You know what it’s like to live with something you’d rather not.”

“Did it for over a century,” he muttered. “I’m tired, Buffy.” She smiled again.

“So am I.”

“Can we rest?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, nodding and letting another tear fall. She took his hand in hers, giving it a squeeze. “Come on.” She led him to the bed, and they both climbed in, holding onto one another, not daring to let go.

Chapter 21

Buffy woke in the early hours of the morning, nature calling. That’s what you get when you’re carrying two giant babies inside of you. Note to self, kick Spike later. She headed off to the bathroom, and when she’d finished up, she went about brushing her teeth. She examined her face in the mirror, feeling slightly depressed about the dark circles under her eyes. Those would go away. If they didn’t, she figured she could get Willow to do a little vanity spell, something to make her feel a little better.

The babies were kicking in full force this morning. And I just thought I had one very hyper baby. Oh well, at least I have Spike to help me. Spike. She couldn’t help but laugh a little at the thought of Spike toting around two screaming babies, a burp cloth on each shoulder, and a look on his face that could only say ‘what the hell did I get myself into?’

After everything they’d been through in the past few days, Buffy finally felt that the time had come to enjoy the fact that they’d reunited. Oh, they’d enjoyed the majority of it, a lot. About seven times. At least. But, today was a brand new day. For the first time, without the aid of a mystical ring or any other spell of the sort, Spike was going to walk out into the daylight without the fear of being burned alive. He’d had enough of that lately.

She made her way back across the room, eager to crawl back into bed with him. She’d wanted him to make love to her last night, but considering everything they had been through, they had been so worn out that they’d just fallen asleep holding one another. And for the first time, she’d woken up in Spike’s arms nice and toasty warm. But feeling his heart beat against her fingertips all night had lulled her to sleep and kept her there peacefully.

Look at me. I’m fat, I’m tired, and I’m in love with an ex-vampire. Who’d of thunk? Just shy of eight years ago, she’d arrived in Sunnydale, ready to start a new life sans vampires and other hell beasties, but on her first day there, she’d realized that wasn’t going to be easy. Soon enough, she’d accepted her role in the universe, and she’d spent years trying to exterminate the pesky problems the Hellmouth always seemed to vomit in her direction. Then she slept with a vampire, turned him evil, and was stalked by him, screwing her up and scarring her for a very long time. Then, along came Spike. She’d hated him with a passion. Passion being the operative word. Even when they were slinging the vilest of comments at one another, the tension had been there. Raw, animal, powerful, sexual. Eventually, that manifested into actual kissing. Then into sex. Then into self-loathing. Then into something much darker. And somehow along the line, it had turned from dark desire to need, and then it was love.

Spike felt the bed shift when Buffy crawled under the covers. He smiled a sleepy smile, eyes still closed, when he felt her nibble at his ear. Her hands were flat against his chest, and he couldn’t help but be taken in by her beauty the moment she opened her eyes.

“You smell...”

“I hope you’re going to finish that sentence with something like minty fresh, considering I haven’t had my shower yet.”

“You smell delicious, pet,” he muffled against her mouth, as she greeted him with a good morning kiss, her hair falling down, framing her face and draping over his shoulders. She bit tenderly on his lower lip, and he sighed, pulling her down against him, taking over the kiss. He rolled her over onto her back, laying in just the right way that they wouldn’t hurt the babies.

Buffy placed her hand against his cheek and chuckled.

“What?”

“Stubble,” she laughed.

“Oh bloody hell. Well, I hope the razors these days are better than the sodding things we used back in my day.”

“You can use one of my razors.” She pulled a box out of the night stand, and Spike grimaced.

“They’re pink. And girly.”

“So?” She didn’t let him answer. Instead, their lips met again in a kiss, and Spike moaned as his body already began to respond to her motions against him. “Bloody hell, Buffy.”

“That’s two bloody hells in 2 minutes. We need a jar.”

“Jar?”

“You know, every time you say something you say a lot, you put a dollar in the jar.” Spike looked at her like she was crazy.

“We’re going to have babies, Spike. Impressionable little people who will one day grow up to be big people, and we don’t want them picking up our bad habits. Such as…smoking.” Spike’s face fell. “You know, you’re going to have to quit.”

“Why?”

“You know why. One, it’s a bad habit, and it’ll make you sick. Two, we don’t want our little impressionable bundles of joy to pick up the habit.”

“Yeah, because a newborn’s going to be able to ask for a pack of non-filtered.” Buffy rolled his eyes.

“Alright, pet. But you can’t expect me to quit cold turkey.”

“Oh turkey. We should go have breakfast,” Buffy said, starting to get out of bed. Spike held her in place.

“How hungry are you, luv?” Buffy gently rubbed her tummy.

“I think we can wait another fifteen minutes.”

“Please, luv. Make it half an hour.”

“Oh, feeling ambitious? You know, you might not have the stamina you had as a vampire.”

“Are you trying to ruin this?” Buffy giggled and she shook her head, kissing him and wrapping her arms around him, enjoying the feeling of his warm chest against hers.

“Just trying to make it last as long as I can.” She drew him back down to kiss her, and his hands immediately began to clutch at her gown. He’d slept naked, so clothes weren’t such a problem for him this morning.

Buffy helped him in lifting the gown over her head, and it was discarded onto the floor in one quick, fluttering flash.

“You’re sure it’s ok? After what happened last time…”

“It’s fine,” she whispered. “That was part of the prophecy.” I hope. “We’ll take it slow.” Just need to be with you. Can’t get enough of you. Spike nodded. Despite how fantastic their sex usually was, taking it slow was sometimes even more amazing. It took all of his willpower not to completely lose control, and that made it more erotic.

When they came together this time, Buffy stopped breathing for a moment, the sensation of their bodies joined together, the heat between them, the pulsing blood coursing through his body, it all came together. She’d closed her eyes, and he’d kissed her eyelids, and he made love to her, his body trembling the entire time, as if it was all brand new.

***

“Here,” Buffy said with a sly grin, as she sat on the sink counter in the bathroom. “Let me.” She leaned against the mirror, her legs spread just enough that he could stand between them. She moaned as he caressed her thigh. “Unless you want me to cut you with this, you’ll stop doing that.”

“Sorry, luv,” he chuckled.

“Liar.”

“Vampi…oh.”

“Yeah, can’t use that excuse anymore,” Buffy replied, seeing the blush come to his cheeks. That was a first.

“What?”

“You’re blushing!” she laughed.

“Am not.” Buffy moved out of the way to show him the evidence, and he looked away.

“Still not used to seeing that,” he remarked. Buffy settled back into position.

“Well, you will be.” She eyed him. “Won’t you? You don’t…miss it or anything, do you?”

“It hasn’t been long enough for me to miss it, pet. I don’t know how I’ll feel five minutes from now.”

“Well, let me take care of this first.” Buffy applied the shaving cream over the stubble on his chin, and for a brief moment, she contemplated what he would look like with a beard before making the first swipe.

“You do realize that I’m trusting you with my life, Slayer.”

“I know.” Two years ago, it probably wouldn’t have been a good idea to say that to me. “Just relax.” It was over in no time, and she toweled off his smooth face. He ran his hand over the newly shaven area, and he nodded.

“Gotta hand it to you, luv.”

“You should see me with a pair of tweezers. I’m like Picasso.” Spike leaned forward, kissing her, and she moved her hands to his hips. “You taste like soap.”

“Speaking of…need a good shower.”

“Me too.”

“Join me?” Buffy hopped off of the sink, nodded, took his hand, and led him toward the shower, disrobing all the way.

***

“What’s taking them so long? It’s almost eleven,” Angel said with a frustrated sigh. “Wait. Don’t answer that.”

“He did just turn human. They’re probably…well, you know,” Gunn said.

“Did I not just ask you not to answer that?” Angel asked, exasperated.

“Look, I’ve got to go down and dispatch the team. Got the 411 on the Groth demon’s lair.”

“Go on,” Angel said with a nod. “Fred?”

“Yeah?” she asked, knowing what was coming.

“Can you go up and check on them, make sure they’re alright?”

“I don’t think that’s such a…” But the look he gave her changed her mind. “I’ll be back.”

“Harmony?”

“Yeah, boss?”

“I need my morning blood.”

“Oh. Damn it, sorry. I’m on it.” She flounced off, leaving Angel and Wesley together.

“So what’s bothering you more? The fact that Spike’s human, or the fact that Buffy’s in love with him?”

“Can it be both?” He shook his head. “Could you go check on Giles and Willow? They’re doing research to make sure they didn’t miss anything.”

“Sure. You’re alright?”

“Fine.” Wesley nodded hesitantly and left the room. Angel sighed and got up, walking over to the window and looking out over Sunny L.A. This was as close to the sunlight as he was ever going to get, and he knew it. But today, for the first time in a long, long time, Spike was going to step out into the sun, and he was going to be able to go anywhere and everywhere with Buffy. No more shadow-dwelling, no more walking around the sun spots that silhouetted on the floor and moved as the sun moved across the sky.

If I’d worn the amulet, I’d be human today. I shouldn’t have listened to her. I should have worn it, and I should have died. At least then I wouldn’t feel like this. How can she love him? After everything…

After everything. Spike had never bitten her, had he? He’d never killed her close friends and enjoyed every minute of it. He’d never sat in her room while she was sleeping and drawn eerie portraits by her pillow, or done the same to her friends. Of course, almost all of that had been done after the curse had come into play, but still...those weren’t things Buffy could ever forget. Spike tried to rape her. And she smiled every time she saw him. That beautiful, glowing smile, even when she talked about him, somehow, that smile would always slip in there. She truly was in love with Spike, no matter how much Angel wanted to deny it. He’d lost her, and that hurt even more. How long were they going to stay? As much as he wanted to help her, he couldn’t stand the idea of watching the two of them flaunting around their human-ness and their love for one another. He wanted her to be happy. He’ll never make her happy. He’ll only hurt her. Human or vampire, I made him. Dru may have sired him, but he’s the way he is because of me.

“Am I interrupting, or can anybody pout?”

“I’m not pouting.” He turned around at the voice, and his jaw nearly dropped when he saw his guest. “Faith?”

“In the flesh.”

“I thought you were…”

“Yeah, well, you know me. Can’t stay in one place for too long.”

“Yeah,” Angel muttered.

“Well, look at you, running Wolfram and Hart. Bet you get all kinds of ladies for that.”

“Is there something I can help you with, Faith?”

“I’m just here to see B.”

“She’s upstairs. With Spike.” Faith hesitated. “Long story.”

“Oh.”

“He’s human now, by the way.”

“That’s…that’s news. What’s going on?”

“Right now? They’re enjoying Spike’s newfound human-ness, and they’re enjoying it under my roof.”

“If you don’t want them to stay, you can always kick ‘em out.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because she came to me for help.”

“You’re still in love with her.” Angel didn’t respond. “Look, I was there before everything came crashing down in Sunnyhell, and they were looking pretty comfy. Buffy didn’t seem to like it when she found me and Spike together.” Angel raised an eyebrow.

“Really? You and Spike?”

“Relax. We were just talking, but…the point is, she seemed pretty uptight about seeing me there with him.”

“I’m sure she’ll be down in a minute. I have a meeting. See you around, Faith.” Angel took off, and Faith shook her head. She walked around his office, looking at all the fancy knickknacks. It wasn’t long before she heard footsteps approaching, and she turned to see Buffy walking, well, more like waddling, into the room.

“Faith?!” Buffy asked when Faith turned around. Faith smiled a half-smile, sticking her hands in her back pockets.

“Hey B.”

“What…what are you doing here?”

“Giles sounded pretty serious when he left London, so I thought you might need me.”

“It’s taken care of.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Willow…”

“Oh. Leave it to the witch. Well, cool.”

“Did Robin come with you?”

“Uh, no.” Faith shifted.

“Faith? You did tell him you were coming, didn’t you?”

“I left him a note.”

“Faith!”

“Chill, B.”

“I thought you two were getting close.”

“Oh, you know me. I gotta have a change every couple months. I was long overdue.”

“Faith…”

“No, it’s cool, B. So…how’s the kid?” She looked at Buffy’s belly.

“You mean kids.”

“As in…”

“Two.”

“Wow, Spike know how to get the job done, huh?”

“You missed a long couple of days. It…it was intense.”

“I hear Spike’s of the living now. In more than one way.”

“Yeah,” Buffy replied. “Everything’s happening so fast.” She settled down in an office chair. “I thought he was gone forever, and I was going to be left to raise this kid. Now there’re two kids, Spike’s back, he’s human, and it’s all kind of overwhelming.”

“But you’re happy?”

“Of course I’m happy. I guess I just didn’t expect all of this.” Buffy eyed the other slayer. “You know better than anybody what it’s like to go from day to day. You’re just lucky to be alive when you go to bed, and you’re lucky if you live through the next day.”

“That’s true.”

“Now he’s human, and we’re having two babies.”

“Just don’t expect me to be on diaper duty.”

“Hint taken,” Buffy replied with a smile. “I don’t even know where we’re going to go. We can’t stay here. Angel…it’s awkward.”

“Tell me about it. He’s walking around like somebody killed his puppy and gave it to him gift-wrapped in a box.” Buffy grimaced. “It’s not pretty, B.”

“I know. I feel terrible that he’s upset, but I can’t help it, Faith. You can’t help who you love. Angel and I…what we had was amazing while it lasted, but it wasn’t good for either of us. It can’t be. And Spike…he’s, well, he’s Spike. I can’t help the way I feel.” Faith shifted on her feet. “I can’t explain it, Faith. I just feel more like me when I’m with him.”

“Nothing wrong with that, B,” Faith said quietly. “I’m gonna be here for a few days. Know any good sites to see?”

“I haven’t exactly gone out since I got here. I’ve been a little busy.” She put her hand on her stomach.

“Right.” Faith couldn’t help but stare at Buffy’s rounding belly. Wonder if she’ll still be skinny as a stick when this is all over? How can she stand feeling them squirm inside of her? Wonder if her skin hurts, stretched like that. I wonder if I would have changed my mind, if my baby hadn’t died. “I have some things to do. I’ll see you around, B.”

“Faith?” But Faith was already gone. Buffy frowned and got up, moving to look out the window. She stretched, yawning. Everything ached. Everything was starting to swell. And she still had at least a couple months left of this. “You better be two reaaaaally good babies. You have no idea what I’m going through for you.” She rubbed her tummy again and shook her head. She was going to be a mother. Spike was going to be a father. She could just see them trying to play house, getting up every couple of hours to change a diaper or warm up a bottle. She could also hear the arguing, the sleepless, mindless arguing where one is at the end of their rope from the crying, and the other at the end of theirs, because it seems like the days have strung together and there has been no end to the constant rhythm of bottle, diaper, bath, bed, slay. When would she patrol? When would she leave the role of Slayer behind and just be mom? Could she do that? Could Spike, fully human and actually aging, be able to settle down, while the rest of his life ahead of him was not eternal? So many questions, so little answers, and her heart was pounding with anxiety. Closing her eyes, she pressed her forehead against the cool window glass and looked out over the bright, sunny city. “God, how are we going to do this?”

Chapter 22

“Are you ready for this?” Buffy asked, stepping out onto the balcony of the apartment she and Spike had stayed in at Wolfram and Hart. Spike stared at her, all golden and glowing in the sunlight. He was apprehensive. The thought of walking into the sunlight was frightening and obsessive at the same time. He needed to do this, but his gut was speaking from over a hundred years of experience in avoiding the sunlight at all cost.

“Yeah. Just give me a second, luv.” Buffy nodded and turned to lean against the balcony rail, looking out over the city, amazed at how quiet it was up here, when down the street, it was noisy and crowded. But they couldn’t stay here. Not forever, anyway. She knew that she and Spike needed to get out of L.A. and move on to wherever it was they were needed. But no place would ever feel like home. Despite its hellish history, Sunnydale would always be home. It’s where her mother was. It’s where her best memories were. They were all buried in some gaping hole that covered the entrance to hell.

Spike took a deep breath, feeling his heart pounding so fast in his chest. He finally reached out, placing his hand in the path of the light, feeling the warmth there. He almost flinched and pulled back, but he stayed there. You bleedin’ idiot. It’s sunlight. It won’t hurt you. Finally, he took a step out onto the balcony and was bathed in sunlight. His skin warmed, and he breathed a breath of fresh air. He stepped up beside Buffy, placing his hand over hers on the railing. She turned to him, taking in the sight of him bathed in light.

“So?”

“I don’t know. It’s different.”

“Good different, or?”

“Good different,” he said softly. “When I was human the first time ‘round, I spent most of my time inside pouring over my poetry.” He shrugged sheepishly. “Took it for granted, and I didn’t realize it ‘til I couldn’t go out during the day anymore.”

“Well, now you can. On the weekdays, decapitate demons by day and dust vampires by night, and on the weekends, we’ll take our babies to the park for a picnic. At noon instead of midnight.” Spike smiled, pulling her in.

“I like the way you think, pet. Except we’ll probably want to avoid telling the kiddies about the decapitation part until they’re at least three.” Buffy laughed.

“Yeah. We’re going to be the strange mom and dad that everybody wants to avoid at parent teacher conferences. I’ve already been that parent with Dawn.”

Buffy rested her head upon his shoulder, and he felt one of the babies kicking her hard.

“Our son’s gonna be a football player. Maybe they both will be.”

“Do you mean football or soccer?”

“Oh, right. I suppose it’s what you Americans call soccer.” Buffy laughed.

“Maybe.” She rested her chin on his chest, looking up, as he looked down into her eyes and then pressed a kiss to her forehead. “We have to leave, Spike.”

“Yeah.”

“We should leave soon, too. I know Giles and Faith and Wil need to get back to their new lives, and we have to start ours.”

“Yeah. I think we wore our welcome out long ago. Least, I know I did. You’ll always be welcome here.”

“Maybe.” She gently ran her hand alongside his face. “Except I don’t want to be anywhere you’re not wanted.”

“You don’t have to say that. Your friends…they’ll never accept that you…”

“That I love you?”

“Never get tired of hearing that.”

“Spike,” Buffy said seriously, “I respect that they have their opinions, but I have to do what’s best for me. And you’re what’s best for me.”

“And you are doing…”

“Spike, you’re gross.”

“But you like it.” Sighing, she shook her head.

“Come on. We’d better go.” She took his hand and led him back inside.

***

“You don’t have to leave so soon,” Angel said quietly, as Buffy, Spike, Faith, Willow, and Giles all stood out in front of the limo Angel had had pulled around after sunset. It was taking them straight to the airport, and from there, they’d all go their separate ways.

Buffy turned toward Spike and smiled a little.

“I’ll be back.” He nodded, keeping an eye on Angel, as Buffy led the vampire a little further away.

“Angel, you and I both know that if we stay here, you’re going to be miserable. You don’t like Spike any more than he likes you, and if I’m with him, that’s just…I don’t want to be the reason you’re miserable.” Angel said nothing. “You’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had, Angel. I love you. Very much.” She looked over toward Spike, who looked away quickly and moved over to make small talk with the others. “I know you can’t understand how I feel. I used to hate myself for feeling it, but it’s real, Angel. I love him. God help me, but I do. And we have a chance now.”

“Because he’s human.” I was human once. You stayed. You wanted to be with me. You don’t remember.

“Not just that. Even if he wasn’t…” Buffy sighed. “You were the first boy…man…that I ever loved. I still care about you a lot, but I’ve been hurt a lot since then. By you, by other guys, and by Spike. But through all of that, I figured out who I was. I might still be the Slayer, but I’m not the same girl you knew.”

“I know. I’ve known for a while. I just…I just wish things had turned out differently.” Buffy nodded.

“I used to wish that too. But I’m happy.”

“I know. I can see it when you look at him. It’s how you used to look at me.”

“I’m sorry this is difficult for you. It’s not easy for me either.” Angel looked at her sheepishly.

“Good.” She knew he was trying to be funny, so she cracked a small smile.

“I’ll keep in touch, but…but I won’t send baby announcements, because I know you wouldn’t…”

“They’re important to you, so they’re important to me.”

“Spike’s important to me.”

“Well, he’s the exception.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do with you two. I think I may have to put my original plan into action someday.”

“What’s that?”

“Have you two wrestle it out…in oil.”

“Never happening.”

“A girl can dream.” She smiled. “Thank you for everything, Angel. You don’t know how much you’ve helped me.”

“I didn’t really do anything.”

“You were here. That counts.” She leaned forward, kissing him on the cheek and wrapping her arms around him. He struggled with the decision to hug her back, but he couldn’t deny her that. They were still friends. Maybe she had fallen out of love with him, but he still loved her, and he wanted to be as close to her as he could be.

“Take care, Buffy.”

“You too.” She gave him one last squeeze and pulled away. “Just so you know, there’ll always be a spot open, if you want to be Uncle Angel.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said half-heartedly. Uncle Angel? Is she equating me to a brother?

“Bye.” She gave him a little wave before turning and heading back toward the limo. Giles, Faith, and Willow had already piled in, and Spike was standing outside the limo, holding the door open. Buffy ducked in, slid across the seat, and she was gone. Angel watched Spike, who turned toward him for a moment, looked as if he wanted to say something and then decided against it, and just gave him a little nod. Angel nodded back, and then Spike disappeared inside the limo, and it pulled away.

“Everything alright, luv?” Spike asked, pulling his arm around the slayer. She nodded.

“Yeah. I think he’ll be alright.”

“And you?” Buffy looked at him and took his hand.

“I made my peace that mine and Angel’s time was over a long time ago. That’s the past. That’s not me anymore.”

“Yeah? So…who are you?” he teased, squeezing her hand, as gave her a look that told her he wished they were both alone in the limo right now.

“That, my dear Spike, you’ll have to figure out on your own.” She leaned in to give him a soft kiss.

“Okay, enough with the get-a-roominess,” Willow said, sounding very much like Xander. Buffy looked at her best friend with surprise. “Sorry. New love is just…well, it’s new love. Kind of bums me out.”

“Things are ok with you and Kennedy, aren’t they?” Why didn’t I ask her that before? Maybe it was the fact that I was in a coma, and then my boyfriend was knocked unconscious and turned human. Yeah, that’s a pretty good excuse if I do say so myself. Buffy was suddenly very conscious of the fact that her conscience was very defensive and moody. Maybe her conscience had pregnancy hormones too.

“I…I don’t know, Buff,” Willow replied.

“Okay. That’s it. You’re not going anywhere tonight.”

“I’m not?”

“Nope. Brownie pig out.” Buffy turned to Spike.

“But…we don’t have an oven.”

“That’s ok. I heard one of the secretaries at Wolfram and Hart talking about this bakery where they make the best double fudge chocolate chip fudge swirl brownies.”

“You’re sure this is a human bakery, luv?” Spike asked.

“Yes! Well, they don’t bake humans, but humans eat there, if that’s what you mean.” Buffy felt her stomach growl. “We’re gonna need a lot of brownies.”

***

“Have a safe flight, both of you,” Buffy said sternly, hugging Faith a bit awkwardly, and then giving Giles an affectionate embrace.

“I know you don’t think you need a watcher, but I just want to tell you to take care of yourself.”

“I will, Giles. I promise.” You’re more of a father to me than my own father ever was. Giles glanced at Spike, who had decided to hang back and pretend to look at travel brochures. “Don’t worry. He loves me. Not in the obsessive, ‘I’m going to steal your clothes and pictures and build a creepy shrine to you’ way. He really does love me, Giles. I wish you could see that.”

“I suppose I’ll have to take your word on it.” Can you blame me for worrying?

“You’ll visit, won’t you?”

“Of course. I’ll be flying back in a month or so to take care of some business.”

“We’ll be sure to let you know where we decide to stay.”

“Yes, well, good luck. Watch out for yourself, and, yes, I am saying this, watch out for Spike. He’s human now, and we don’t know what advantages he’s lost.”

“I’ll take good care of him. Promise.” She smiled and kissed his cheek. He gave her a squeeze on the shoulder, and after a brief pause, he turned to talk to Willow. Buffy faced Faith, and Faith shook her head.

“Don’t start. I wasn’t going to go back. I wasn’t. But I guess I should give him another chance.”

“I don’t know what happened between you two, but I could tell he cared about you. You should give him a chance.”

“I don’t know about that, but…I am gonna face him. I mean, you and Spike gave up, well, accidentally gave up being a vampire for you. The least I can do is break things off face to face.” Buffy nodded in understanding.

“Thanks for coming, Faith. It was…it…it meant a lot.”

“Hey, a slayer’s gotta watch a sister slayer’s back. You just watch your own back and don’t, you know, get killed or anything.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Five by five.”

“Yeah. Five by five.”

***

“Oh my God, how did you eat seven of those things! I could barely eat two!” Willow exclaimed in absolute shock. “I’m a witch, so I’ve seen a lot of incredible things, but that…that was inhuman, Buffy.”

“What? I’m eating for three,” Buffy replied, brushing crumbs off of her shirt. She looked at Spike, who’d barely taken a bit of his brownie, because he’d joined Willow in the spectator sport of watching Buffy devour over half of their purchase.

“Are you sure they’re human babies?” Willow asked, as they sat on the bed in the hotel room.

“Wil!”

“Sorry, but, geez Buff.”

“Hey, you try carrying two bowling balls around inside of you and see how you feel.” Just as she was shifting, her face turned pale, and she put her hand over her mouth. “Oh no.”

“Spike, get out of her way,” Willow warned. Spike stepped aside just as Buffy went tearing toward the bathroom. A few gagging sounds and a toilet flush later, Buffy reappeared looking just as pale as before.

“Okay, that hasn’t happened in a while.”

“You alright, Buffy?” Spike asked, moving over toward her to place his hand on her back. She nodded.

“Yeah. Just…do you think you could go down the street to that little convenience store and get some mints or something. Something to calm my stomach. Something pepperminty, preferably.”

“Sure. I’ll leave you ladies to chat.” He headed out, and Buffy sat back down on the bed next to Willow.

“You sure you’re ok, Buff?”

“Yeah. I guess seven double fudge chocolate chip fudge swirl brownies didn’t agree with me after all.” She made a face. “Okay, so spill. We have approximately ten minutes before Spike gets back, so let’s talk private stuff.”

“Oh ok. Well, what do you want to know?”

“You and Kennedy. Are you having problems?”

“Like, in the bedroom?”

“Oh! No! Oh…well, yeah.”

“Um, well, there’s not really much to tell. Not lately anyway.”

“Oh. Dry spell?”

“Not exactly,” Willow replied. She sighed, shaking her head. “I don’t know anymore, Buffy. I don’t know if this is what I want.”

“To be a lesbian witch?”

“No. No, I’m pretty much as lesbian as you can get, but Kennedy…as horrible as it is to say, I think she was really just…just my cushion. She was a comfort, you know, after Tara. But the more I think about Tara, the more I realize Kennedy is…”

“Not her.”

“Right. And I like Kennedy. I do.”

“But you don’t love her.”

“Right. I feel like a terrible person.”

“You’re not, Wil. You’re a great person. One of the best I know. Much better than me.”

“Then why can’t I just be happy with her?”

“Maybe because you’re not as ready as you thought you were.” Willow nodded.

“I think you’re right. I don’t want to hurt her, but I’m not happy, and she’s not happy. I don’t know how we’ll make it out of it as just friends. She’s a Slayer, and she’s important in this.”

“You should talk to her. There might be tears. There might be screaming and throwing things. There might even be attempted murder, but in the end, you’ll be friends.” Willow stared wide-eyed at her friend.

“Oh, that’s just me and my relationships. Sorry.”

“Speaking of your relationships. So? How is it…with Spike being human and everything?” Buffy cocked an eyebrow.

“You really want to hear about me and Spike.”

“Well…yeah. I mean, he’s good now, right?”

“Right,” Buffy said slowly.

“And he makes you happy.”

“Yeah…your point?”

“My point is that we don’t get to see each other very much anymore, and if he makes you happy, you know, when none of us are around, then he must be a good guy, and, you know, not putting it on for appearances.”

“Spike’s never really been one for appearances.”

“That’s true. Like when he came into our dorm room and flat out told me he was going to kill me. We had a pretty nice chat after that. Until I hit him over the head with a lamp.”

“Yeah. He’s always been pretty straight forward. And hey, the plus side of him being a human is that he won’t try to kill you. Not that he would have if he’d still been a vampire. Soul, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember. How could I forgot? We had Spike tied up, shackled up, pretty much grounded in the house for months on end.”

“Yeah. I’m starting to wonder if he secretly got off on that.” Willow laughed at Buffy’s remark.

“Well, you’ve been with no-soul, chip only vampire Spike. You’ve been with no-chip, soul-having vampire Spike, and you’ve been with soul-having human Spike. So…which one’s better. Inquiring minds want to know.”

“Wil!”

“What? You asked me about Kennedy. It’s the least you can tell me.”

“Promise this stays between us?”

“Promise.” Willow made the scouts honor gesture.

“Alright.” Buffy cleared her throat. “All three.”

“What?”

“Well,” Buffy laughed, her cheeks reddening a bit. “Chip-having, no soul Spike was an animal. We’d start out tender…rarely, but it always ended up with us on the floor, broken things everywhere.” Willow’s eyes widened. “I know. Some of my favorite scars are fond reminders of those times.” She lifted her pant leg to show a faint scar on her shin. “Coffee table.”

“Wow.” Willow picked up the barely-eaten remnants of Spike’s brown and began to munch on them, despite Buffy’s lovely pre-brownie pig out party in the bathroom.

“Let’s see. Well, soul-having, chipless, vampire Spike was the other day, and, well, it got pretty hot and heavy, but he was really tender. The pregnancy probably helped matters. I have a feeling that the first time we have sex after the babies, I won’t be walking straight for a week.” Willow sucked in a sharp breath, sending brownie particles down her windpipe. She began to choke violently, and Buffy thumped her on the back a few times. “You ok?”

“Mmm…um…yeah. Go on.” She coughed a couple more times but waved Buffy on.


“You sure?”

“I’m living vicariously through you.” Buffy eyed her. “I’m not saying I want to be with Spike or anything. It’s just been a while since I’ve been with a guy, you know? Not that that’s what I want anymore, but hey, I can have fond memories of Oz, can’t I?”

“I’m not judging you,” Buffy replied.

“Okay. Good. So. Human Spike?” Buffy smiled again and Willow raised an eyebrow this time. “How’s it different?”

“Well, vampires, they’re…well, they’re colder than humans.”

“Obviously.”

“It was a nice contrast, feeling how cool his skin was, especially when I felt like I was getting hotter, you know, during the, um…”

“Yeah, yeah.” Willow’s cheeks were a bit red now.

“But as a human, he’s so warm, and it’s nice. I’m finally with someone who…who feels like me. The warmth is comforting, and I know that he’s the first man…first human man I’ve ever loved with everything in me.”

“More than Riley?”

“Riley was a re-rebound guy, Wil. I mean, after Angel, it was Parker, and that was miserable. Riley was sweet. I did love him, but I couldn’t bring myself to open up to him. I think some of my worst enemies in the past have known more about me than Riley.”

“Oh,” Willow said slowly. “And Spike…”

“I know he doesn’t know everything about me, but I feel like he can read me. I feel like sometimes he knows me better than I know myself. After…after you guys brought me back from the dead, I…I was in a fog, and he was my guide. I hated him all along the way, but something happened, and…and…” She looked down at her belly. “Here we are.”

“Yeah, here we are,” Willow replied. “Wow, Buffy. It sounds like you’ve got everything you want.”

“Yeah.” She shook her head, “but I don’t know how long it’s going to last. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“Don’t think like that.” Buffy nodded, tears in her eyes.

“I know. I just can’t help it.” She suddenly grabbed for Willow’s hand. “Wil?”

“What is it, Buffy?”

“I want you to promise me something.”

“Oh…okay. What?”

“If anything happens to me, you’ll be there. You’ll be in my kids’ lives. Spike…he’ll do okay, but I want them to know you, and I want their Aunt Wil to be able to tell them things…things like this, that Spike can’t.”

“You mean, about sex?”

“Well, no! Okay, if one’s a girl, then maybe, when she’s forty.” Willow smiled, but a frown came creeping back in immediately.

“Nothing’s going to happen to you.”

“I’ve been having dreams, Wil. Dreams that Spike says ‘they’re coming.’ I don’t know who ‘they’ are.”

“Maybe he’s talking about the twins?”

“I don’t know. I had a couple before I even knew it was twins. I just…I just need to know you’ll be there.”

“Buffy,” Willow promised, squeezing her best friend’s hand. “Whatever it takes, I’ll be there, no matter what. When those babies are born, you know I’m gonna shop until I drop trying to find the perfect mini-slayer outfits.” Buffy sniffled, letting out a little laugh.

“Thanks, WIl.”

“What are friends for anyway?” They smiled at one another and then shared a hug. They’d both missed this.

“I wish you weren’t leaving tomorrow.”

“I’ll come back and visit. I’m sure Kennedy’s going to need a break from me after…”

“Yeah,” Buffy said softly. “You always have a place with us. Just keep in touch, and we’ll let you know where we end up.”

“I will. I promise.” A shout from outside startled them both. It was muffled, but it was loud. Then a scream.

“Oh my God,” Buffy gasped, getting up and rushing toward the door. “Spike!”

To Be Continued...

Chapter 23

Buffy and Willow made it outside just in time to see Spike drive a stake right into the chest of a vampire. Spike, bleeding and hunched over, panting, collapsed to the ground, and Buffy ran to him.

“He…jumped me. I thought…I couldn’t…” He gasped for breath, and Buffy and Willow helped him sit up. Buffy looked around for any sign of another assailant, but there were none. “He was just…normal. Like normal.” He coughed. “I could barely hurt him, Buffy.” She touched his shoulder, and he winced.

“It’s dislocated,” she said softly. “Come on. Let’s get you inside.” She and Willow tried to help him up, but he shook out of their grasps.

“I can manage.” Buffy and Willow backed away, realizing his ego had been bruised, and Buffy felt a twinge in her heart, as Spike struggled for breath as he limped back to the hotel room.

“I’ll leave you guys alone,” Willow said softly. “See you in the morning?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Wil.” Willow hugged her friend, said goodnight, and headed off to her hotel room. Buffy lingered in the parking lot for a moment, giving Spike a little space, before she headed in to help him clean himself up.

She was silent as she entered the bathroom, where he was dabbing at his lip with a wash cloth. One of his eyes was already getting a dark ring around it. Buffy leaned against the door frame, crossing her arms as she gazed at him. She forced back tears that were threatening to flood her eyes. Spike looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

“Sorry I didn’t get your, uh, your peppermint stuff.”

“I don’t care about that,” Buffy replied. “What happened?” God, the way he was bent over the sink, wincing in pain…she just wanted to go over and hold him, but she knew he was too sore for that. Still, something had to be done about that shoulder.

“He just came out of nowhere. So I just charged at him, and…”

“And you didn’t know your strength.”

“Well, I do now. I don’t have any.” Buffy moved across the bathroom silently and wrapped her arms gently around him, like a calming breeze. And then she grabbed onto his arm and tugged on it until it the shoulder popped back into place. “Bloody hell, woman!” He groaned in pain, rubbing his sore shoulder. “You get it?” Buffy, having had a few dislocations in her days as a Slayer, felt gently around the tender shoulder, and she nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Well, at least we know. I’m bloody useless.”

“That’s not true,” Buffy replied sternly. “Here. Let me.” She took the washcloth out of his hands, but he snatched it back quickly.

“This I can do.” He turned back in the mirror to make sure he was stopping the blood from flowing out of his lip. It had stopped, but it was tender, and it would be swollen in the morning. “Probably won’t heal as fast either.”

“Are you done?”

“What?”

“Feeling sorry for yourself? Because I can take you to Angel and have him turn you back into a vampire if that’s what you want. Of course, you’ll risk losing your soul again, but if being strong is that important to you…”

“Wait a minute, Buffy.” Spike turned to face her. “That’s not what I’m saying. You don’t understand what it’s like to lose your strength.”

“Actually, I do. Happened to me years ago on my birthday, because Giles injected me with something, and…it was awful…”

“But you got your strength back.”

“Maybe you will too.”

“Who are you trying to fool, pet? It’s gone. I’m bloody useless to you.”

“No you’re not. Don’t say that.”

“It’s true. I did my part, and I guess the bloody amulet decided that I was done being the hero. Now I’m no better than…”

“Spike,” Buffy insisted, following him into the main part of the hotel room. Spike began to remove his shirt, and Buffy could see a large bruise forming on his side. He grimaced, and she immediately went to her luggage and found her post-patrol gear, bandages and antiseptics included. Buffy immediately began to wrap it around his waist. “I don’t think it’s broken, but you’ll need to keep it wrapped a few days, and try not to strain it.” She helped him into a clean shirt, and they slowly sat down on the edge of the bed together. “You’re not useless. Believe me. But you don’t have the strength you once did, and that doesn’t make you any less of a man in my eyes.”

“Did you have this same talk with Captain Cardboard when he was having trouble handing the fact that you could beat the snot out of him in a second?”

“Even when you were a vampire, I could beat the snot out of you in a second. That’s what comes with being the Slayer, and no, I don’t care if my boyfriend is as strong as me or not. I care about this.” She placed her hand over his heart. “And this.” She took his hand and placed it on her belly. “And this.” She leaned in, gently kissing the corner of his mouth that wasn’t aching. I care about you. I love you. I don’t care if you aren’t strong enough to pick me up and carry me to our bed. Well, seeing as I’m getting to be as big as a Chirago demon on steroids, you probably couldn’t even if you had your strength.

“I want to protect you,” he finally blurted out. “And them.” He caressed her belly. “I know you’re the Slayer. Girl power and all that, but right now, I want to protect all three of you, and I can’t.”

“We’re doing just fine.”

“I…” You can’t imagine what it’s like. I love you, but you have no idea. You have no idea how empty it feels to not be able to rely on the one constant you’ve had for over a century. “You deserve…”

“If you say I deserve better than you one more time, I’m getting up, walking out of here, and I’m sleeping in Willow’s room tonight.” Spike opened his mouth to speak. “Don’t. I’m not finished. Nobody gets to tell me what I want. For years, I had people telling me to do this or not do that. I had to lie to my mother about who I was so I could protect her, and all I wanted to do was curl up and lay my head in her lap at the end of the day and cry about how hard it was. But I couldn’t. I had Giles ordering me around like I was some toy soldier, and even though he had the best intentions, all I wanted to do was do it by myself, which I learned how to do. Yes, you helped me, but Spike, you don’t have to worry about me.”

“I saw what they did to you. One of them, down in the Hellmouth. Buffy raised her shirt, showing him the faintest white scar that seemed bigger due to her growing belly.

“It was clean. Healed fast. But you won’t heal fast, so you can’t go charging in like that.”

“Are you trying to lecture me, Slayer?”

“If it helps, then yeah. It’s late. Let’s just get some rest. I can get you something for the pain.”

“I can take it.”

“You don’t have to be like that. There’s no shame in letting people help you.”

“I don’t need help. I’m fine, luv. But you’re right. We should rest.” Spike gave her a kiss on the cheek, something he rarely ever did. It was such a human gesture. Well, he is human. He pulled the covers back and slowly slipped between them. Buffy slipped under them as well, and she lay next to Spike, arms folded across her midsection. She didn’t want to try to cuddle and risk hurting him more. But when she felt his hand seeking out hers, she smiled, took his hand and gave it a little squeeze.

“G’night, luv.”

“Goodnight, Spike.”

***

“Red? You up? Open up, Red!” Willow woke to this and the banging on her hotel room door. She turned on the bedside lamp, blinked to let her eyes adjust, and she hurried over to open the door, wondering if something had happened to Buffy.

“Spike?” She unhooked the door chain and unlatched the dead bolt. When she opened the door, a very bruised, very urgent-looking Spike stood before her, one hand placed protectively against his sore rib. “What’s wrong? Is it Buffy?”

“No. She doesn’t know I’m here. She’s…I need your help. Can I come in?” Willow was a little nervous now. What did he want in her room for? What did he want that Buffy couldn’t know about? For a moment, a thought ran through her head that she immediately disregarded, and she realized that whatever it was, Spike was worried.

“Oh…uh, sure. C-come in.” Willow stepped aside, and Spike came in. He looked around, paced for a few moments, and finally turned to look at Willow, who stood with one hand on the doorknob just in case this whole turning human thing was only temporary, and Spike was actually a vampire without a soul or a chip again. “Spike?”

“You have to do something. You have to fix me.”

“What?”

“Fix me!” he exclaimed, causing the witch to jump. “I can’t live like this. I can’t…”

“Spike, you’re human, you…”

“I’m weak. I’m…I can’t do a bloody thing to protect my family.”

“Spike.”

“She’s the bloody slayer. I’m…I’m a vampire in a living body. Don’t you get it? I don’t care about the blood or the kill anymore, but the strength. I need that, Red. I need it, because…without it…without it…” Without it, I’m no better than the sniveling poet who had his heart trampled on. “Please. Help me.”

“Spike, I don’t know what…”

“There has to be something. I can’t go through this life like this.” He sat down on the edge of her bed, his head in his hands, and Willow’s heart went out to him. He was begging her. He seemed genuinely afraid, not for his life, but for theirs. He really had changed. “I can’t be the man I was before I turned. He’s the kind of man…the kind of man that…he was spineless, Red. He’d get hurt and wouldn’t fight for his dignity. I can’t be that man. I have to be better than that. For her.”

“Spike, being human isn’t as bad as…”

“It’s not that,” he said, cutting her off. “I’d rather be human. I’d rather not be everything Buffy stands against. I don’t want that. I want to be the kind of man that doesn’t make her sick to her stomach to love.”

“You aren’t. She loves you. You should see that. I can see it, Spike.”

“I know she does. She might swear against it, but I know…I know, one day she’s going to realize that I can’t do anything for her.” Willow swallowed a lump in her throat.

“Buffy loves you, Spike. Believe me. We…we talked about it. She smiles every time she talks about you.”

“Yeah, now. But ten years from now? Twenty? If I even make it that long. If she even…” He hung his head. “I don’t want to be a demon. I want to be a man. I want to be a strong man.” Willow leaned against the door, closing her eyes, weighing her options. She could research, find a spell, make him strong again and risk complications, or she could turn him down, ultimately crushing his spirits, and in his mind, sealing his fate. Nobody ever said being a witch was easy. “Look. I know she loves me. I see it in her eyes. I feel it every time she touches me. But I hate that I can’t be strong for her.”

“Strength isn’t just physical, Spike.”

“No, but in her world, it’s a pretty big part.”

Chapter 24

“Promise me you’ll call me the minute you land?” Buffy asked Willow, clutching her in a strong embrace.

“Uhm, yeah, Buffy. Uh…uh, Slayer strength!”

“Sorry,” Buffy said sheepishly, letting go of her friend. Willow smiled.

“And you have to tell me wherever you both end up.”

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you here.” Buffy was tearing up, her eyes round and sad, full of tears. Spike gently rubbed Buffy’s back to show his support. “You sure you can’t stay a little longer?”

“I have to get back to Kennedy. She’s not gonna be too happy with me. Who knows, I might need a couch to crash on. Maybe I’ll cross international borders to do it.”

“You better. If you need a place, that is,” Buffy replied quietly. “These babies need their Auntie Willow, after all.”

“Take care, Red,” Spike said, pulling Willow’s luggage out of the trunk of the taxi.

“Thanks,” Willow said with a nod. “Well, I better get going.” She cleared her throat and ran her fingers through her hair. “I hate goodbyes.” Buffy began to cry at those words, and Willow reached out to hug her again.

“Sorry,” Buffy whimpered. “Stupid hormones.”

“Hey, that just means you’re still pregnant, and that’s good,” Willow responded comfortingly, patting Buffy on the back. “Just take it easy. Don’t over work yourself.”

“Yeah. I know. But it’s…”

“Easier said than done?”

“Yeah,” Buffy sniffled, wiping her eyes. “Go on. Don’t be late for check in.” Willow nodded, and with a quick glance at Spike and then back at Buffy, she turned and was off. Buffy sighed, and she felt Spike curl his arm around her waist.

“You alright, pet?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think so. She’s just…she’s my best friend, you know?”

“Yeah. I know.” He kissed her temple, and she closed her eyes, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Where are we gonna go, Spike?” Buffy wondered. “I don’t want to stay here. I want…I want our kids to grow up in a small town, but I need to be someplace where I can…you know, be a Slayer.”

“Why don’t we just start driving and go?”

“We won’t get very far on the motorcycle,” Buffy laughed, as she and Spike got back into the cab.

“That’s why I sold it this morning.” Buffy’s eyes widened.

“You sold your motorcycle? Spike!”

“We’re gonna be a family of four, luv. Can’t exactly bring the little bits home on the back of the bike can we?” Buffy smiled a little. “What?”

“You called us a family.”

“Well…we are, aren’t we?” Buffy nodded, taking his hand in hers.

“Yep. Can you believe it, Spike? We used to try to kill each other, and now we’re having twins.” The cab driver tried to pretend he wasn’t listening, but hearing Buffy say that made him choke a little bit. Buffy smiled a kissed Spike’s neck, making his temperature rise just slightly.

“Luv, let’s save it for christening our new car.”

“It runs?”

“It runs,” Spike promised. “I wanted to surprise you.”

“No black smudges on the windows,” Buffy said dreamily. “You realize it makes driving at night very difficult.”

“When were you ever in my car at night?”

“The night you tricked me into a stake out with you.”

“Our first date,” Spike said with a recollecting nod. “Ah, memories. I can’t wait to tell the kids all about that one.”

“We are not telling them about that. It was a disaster.”

“Which part?”

“Which part?” Buffy asked with a scoff. “Gee, I don’t know, Spike. The part where you tried to get me drunk, or the part where you tied me up and tried to prove your love and devotion by threatening to kill Drusilla.” The cab driver looked even more nervous.

“I was messed up, luv.”

“I won’t argue,” she giggled, as he turned to look at her. He was about to say something, but she stopped him with a quick kiss.

They rode the rest of the way in silence, and when they arrived back at the hotel, a shiny, somewhat new car was waiting out front.

“How did you get it here?” Buffy asked with surprise, and she got out of the cab, and Spike paid the driver.

“Hey, I figured I could get a favor out of somebody over at good old Wolfram and Hart.”

“Oh,” Buffy said with a nod. “I like it. It’s…surprisingly blue. I pegged you for something bright red, and shiny.”

“Hey, red’s most likely to get pulled over, you know.” Buffy laughed at Spike’s logic.

“Alright,” she said with a nod. “I guess all we do now is load up the car and…drive.” She took a shaky but deep breath, realizing that the rest of their lives was about to begin. It was scary, and it was a big step. But, it was a step she desperately wanted to take.

***

Buffy woke to find herself leaning on Spike’s shoulder, as they drove down an empty state road. She blinked, letting her eyes adjust to the sunlight, but she didn’t move, not wanting him to know she was awake just yet. This silence was good. It was perfect. Her hand was resting against his knee, and he had a hand resting over hers. He was humming softly to himself, as a song faintly drifted out of the car speakers.

The world outside the car was harsh and bright, and all Buffy could see for miles around was yellow fields meeting blue, cloudless skies. The sun beat down hard on the road, making the air much warmer than it should have been for this time of year.

She was comfortable with him. She only hoped she wasn’t hurting him by leaning on him like this. At least she wasn’t leaning on his injured shoulder. Come to think of it, he hasn’t complained about the pain since the other night.

“Where are we?” she finally asked, making her waking status known. Spike stopped humming and cleared his throat.

“Passed the Nevada border about an hour ago, luv.”

“Okay.”

“You want to stop and get some breakfast?” Buffy was about to answer when she heard Spike’s stomach rumble. She couldn’t help but giggle.

“What? Bloke’s gotta eat, doesn’t he? I’ve missed a lot of good food. Gotta make up for lost time.”

“You should be careful,” Buffy laughed. “Vampire metabolism is a lot better than human metabolism.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t have to worry about that. You’re the Slayer. Slayers have, what? Some kind of inborn physical training system that never lets them get fat?”

“Um, hello?” Buffy asked, pointing to her large belly.

“That’s different. You’re pregnant.”

“Yeah, I just wish I could fit into my jeans again. I miss those jeans. They made my butt look great.”

“You have a nice ass, Slayer. Even as a pregnant lady.”

“You’re just saying that because you have sex with me.”

“Well, that, and because it’s true.” Buffy rolled her eyes at him. “You’re the sexiest pregnant woman I’ve ever seen.”

“Shut up. I’m ugly. I’m fat. I’m…look at my split ends. I thought being pregnant gave you great hair.” Spike eyed her.

“So you don’t want to be pregnant ever again?” Buffy looked up at him sharply.

“I…well, I don’t…I don’t know. I hadn’t thought about it. I didn’t think I was going to get out of this alive, so I haven’t thought that far ahead.” She looked at him when he said nothing. “Have you?”

“Sure, I’ve thought about it, luv. ‘Course, it was when I was a vampire and had no idea I’d ever be a dad. I always pictured you as a mum, though.”

“Really?”

“Sure. You took good care of the Nibblet, you know…after your mum and everything.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said quietly. “I guess so. She was a pain in the ass though.” Spike laughed at that. “She was! She never did her chores or went to bed on time. She sucked at getting off to school on time. I’m sorry, but once she’s out that door, it’s her own responsibility…” She sighed and let it go. “She’s doing better now. She’s better off away from me.”

“How can you say that?”

“It’s true. Her grades are better. She’s happy.”

“Just because she’s got good marks doesn’t mean she’s happy. She could be staying in every night and studying, because she’s miserable there.” Buffy shrugged.

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

“You’ll be a good mum, Buffy. You will. And I’ll try to be a good dad. Maybe that’s why I’m still here, eh? Maybe that’s why I’m human. Maybe I’m supposed to do the one thing I never got to do before.” He moved his hand to her belly, and she smiled. “I don’t remember my dad.” Buffy perked up a little. She sat up in the seat and looked at him intently. “My mum was a good woman, before I turned her into a monster. She always looked out for me. I guess now that I think about it, she smothered me too much. Probably why I was such a ponce.” He shook his head at the memory of sitting alone in the corner of the parlor, writing down words dripping with sap as he gazed at the beautiful Cecily. Perhaps she was beautiful to William, but to Spike, nothing compared to Buffy.

“I don’t know much about your life before you were a vampire,” Buffy said quietly. “I wanna know. I wanna be able to tell our kids.”

“In case I die?”

“Spike…”

“Sorry, luv. Didn’t mean to sound like that.” He cleared his throat. “What do you wanna know?”

“Well, I know that you were a poet. I know that Dru turned you. But…I’d like to know more.”

“Well…like I said, I didn’t know my dad very well. The only memory I have of him was when I was little. I remember, because I was looking up between him and mum, and they were arguing. I was scared. And then he knelt down to me and told me something…I can’t even remember what it was, but he looked sad.” The next thing I remember was mum waking me in the middle of the night. There were a bunch of people just rushing through the hallway, carrying my dad to his bed. But he was already dead.”

“That must have been terrible for you.”

“Mum took good care of me. She felt guilty, I think. She blamed herself for his death. Back then, we didn’t know what caused it, but it was probably a heart attack.” Buffy nodded. “I was an only child, and Mum was afraid of losing me too, because I got sick a lot as a lad. It was mostly chest colds and such, but it scared her to no end.”

“Spike?”

“Hmm?”

“What was your last name? I want to know…I want our babies to have your name.” Spike smirked a little, and he looked at her.

“Pratt.” Buffy made a face.

“Pratt?”

“William Gunther Pratt.”

“Gunther?” Buffy laughed. “Like the coffee guy on Friends?”

“Yes, luv, because he was serving coffee at a café with a big, tacky couch in 1852.”

“Sorry,” Buffy giggled. “No offence, but our son won’t be taking your middle name.”

“That’s quite alright, pet. I don’t particularly like it anyway. Besides, I died. I don’t have a last name. I don’t have a first name. I’m just…”

“Spike.”

“Yeah.”

“I want our babies to have your name. And not Spike.”

“Why don’t you just stick Summers on the end of their names? Summers would sound a lot better than Pratt.”

“I like Pratt,” Buffy said thoughtfully. She ran the thought over and over in her mind. Buffy Pratt. Elizabeth ‘Buffy’ Pratt. Elizabeth Anne Pratt. Buffy Anne Summers-Pratt. Pratt-Summers? She suddenly realized what she was doing. Get a grip, she thought to herself. Just because you’re having babies doesn’t mean you’re getting married. Still, she couldn’t help but think Elizabeth Pratt had a sophisticated sound to it. Buffy Pratt? Eh. She wasn’t so sure about that. Anyway, there was no need to think about that. It wasn’t like they were even talking about getting married. Or engaged, for that matter. Could ex-vampires turned human even get married anyway? Could a slayer marry an ex-vampire? Were there rules about that in some slayer handbook that she never received? She made a mental checklist to get in touch with Kendra’s watcher, who’d apparently given his slayer a handbook.

Instead of talking about scary things like marriage, Buffy decided to stray away from the topic of names.

“I’m getting pretty hungry. Let’s stop soon.”

“Sure, luv.” He kissed the side of her head, and she moved to sit back in her seat and close her eyes until they got where they were going.

Chapter 25

Days passed, and then a week, and then they were pulling up outside of a little house on a quiet street, in a small town in Ohio. It wasn’t the most exotic of places, but a Hellmouth was about an hour away in Cleveland. Buffy decided if she was going to bring her children up in a home and be a slayer at the same time, it wouldn’t be directly over the mouth of Hell.

“You’re sure about this, luv? Living together?”

“Like you said, we’re a family,” Buffy said quietly, getting out of the car and standing to look at the house. It was a little smaller than the house in Sunnydale, but considering neither one of them were employed, and both were living off of a certain portion of the money the slayer army was making from private donors in their efforts across the seas, it wasn’t too shabby.

Spike walked around the car and drew Buffy into his arms. “What do you say we go have a rest, and then we go out to patrol tonight?”

“Are you feeling up to it?”

“Never better, luv,” he replied, knowing she was referring to the incident in the hotel lot last week. He gave her a soft kiss on the forehead, and then he pulled her into his arms. “This is really what you want?”

“Oh my God, Spike, how many times do I have to say it? Yes. I want this. I want our family. I want you.” She laced her fingers through his and squeezed his hand. “We’re not the same people we were before. I don’t care about the past, and you know that. I care about right now, and I care about the future.” She moved his hand to her belly.

“In that case, luv,” he whispered, leaning in to caress her lips with his, “let’s go home.” He whisked her up into her arms. For being in her third trimester with twins, she was still surprisingly light. Buffy laughed, throwing her arms around his neck, and she let him carry her up onto the porch, where he fumbled with the keys, all the while holding onto her, and finally crossed the threshold into their new home.

***

“It’s too quiet.”

“That’s a good thing, pet.”

“No, I don’t like it. It means they’re lurking. You were a lurker. I’d turn a corner, and there you’d be.”

“Hey, I wasn’t hiding there, waiting for a chance to kill you…well, most of the time.”

“Thanks. Makes me feel so much better.” She rolled her eyes.

This was their first night patrolling in Hollows, Ohio, the sleepy town that came alive at night with vampires and demons that camped out far enough from the Hellmouth that they felt safe. Well, no more. Buffy had seen a Troth demon lurking outside of their house a couple of nights ago, but he’d been gone before she could get out to him. Apparently, they were drawn to her. Maybe Slayers have an extra strong scent after all. Maybe that’s why Spike could always smell her.

They started up a path at the back of the large cemetery. Despite the small town, the cemetery was twice the size of any they’d patrolled in Sunnydale.

“Come out, you stupid, lurky….lurkers.” Buffy’s patience had plummeted lately, and Spike knew just to give her some space. Spike pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket. He placed a cigarette between his lips, and Buffy just stared at him.

“If you smoke that, I’m not kissing you tonight.”

“It’s my last pack, I promise.”

“You said that four packs ago.”

“Last one, I promise. If I buy one more, then…then you can…” Buffy turned and folded her arms.

“I can what?”

“You can….”

“How about this. If you buy one more pack of cigarettes, you have to…” She strained to think of something good. “God, why is this so hard? Just stop smoking, or I’m not having sex with you anymore.”

“You can’t wait forever, pet.”

“Oh, but I can get mine without you.”

“You’re not gonna find another bloke, I can tell you that.”

“I could if I wanted, but I don’t want to. I’m saying, I have other options. They come in nice packages you find in novelty stores.”

“Right, like that’ll do it,” Spike laughed.

“Two words. Energizer. Batteries.” Spike smirked and took Buffy into his arms, pressing her against the wall of a crypt. Without warning, he pressed his lips against hers, and within moments, she was moaning into his mouth, her hands rubbing up and down his back, as he moved his hand along her side, down her thigh, and finally pressed it against her center, feeling how hot she was for him.

“Two words,” he teased, nipping at her neck. “Yeah right.” Buffy moaned softly as be began to rub her, and she closed her eyes, sucking in a sharp breath.

“Spike,” she moaned. “Oh God.” She closed her eye, trying to pull him closer. He made quiet humming noises as he kissed her neck, tasting her sweet skin, and seeking out her lips again. Buffy slowly opened her eyes, only to see a vampire slowly stalking his way toward them. “Spike!”

“That’s right, pet…”

“No! Spike! Vam…oh God…pire. Vampire!” She pushed him away, and he spun around in time to throw a punch into the vamp’s face.

“Bloody hell.” He fumbled for the stake in his pocket, but the vampire was already running off. Buffy, trying to compose herself along the way, headed off in pursuit. Spike ran after her.

“Buffy?!”

“It’s fine, Spike! Stay there!” Buffy exclaimed, rushing around one tomb in order to get the advantage on the vampire, as Spike stuck behind, watching her do all the work as he finally retrieved the stake out of his coat. But when he heard a grunt from her, and then a thud, he ducked around the tomb to see her pinned against the wall. Sneaking up behind the oblivious vampire, who was presently trying to strangle the pregnant slayer, Spike suddenly ripped him away, tossing him backward to land on the ground. In one fluid motion, he swung back, staking the vamp right through the heart, while Buffy looked on in surprise.

“Ashes to ashes,” he muttered. He looked at Buffy, and by the look on her face, he knew he had some explaining to do, but he didn’t have time to start, as another vampire rushed at him, and he rushed at him, hitting the vampire in the gut, causing him to fall backward, hitting his head on a large tombstone. Spike stepped on the vamp’s midsection and plunged the wooden stake through its chest.

Realizing the patrol was over for the night, Spike moved to kneel beside Buffy.

“Are you alright?” He helped her stand.

“What the hell was that, Spike?”

“I was…saving you.”

“Yeah, I noticed. What’s with the vampy strength?” Spike cleared his throat and looked away. “Spike? What the hell did you do?” Something was wrong. Her head was starting to spin. But she was confused, demanding answers, and she was going to get them.

“Buffy, I can explain.”

“You’re not a…”

“No. No, this has been…since before we left California.”

“What?”

“Red…Willow. I talked to her…”

“What happened?” Buffy asked, crossing her arms again. He wrung the stake in his hands, as if attempting to strangle the life out of it, as he sought out the right words in an attempt to not piss her off.

“I asked her to do a spell. She gave me my strength back.”

“And you…you didn’t even think to tell me about it?”

“Luv, this was our first night out patrolling, and…”

“And you’ve had plenty of time to tell me. Spike, what made you think that you needed…”

“This. Right here. This is why.” He motioned toward the wall she’d been pinned against and then toward the pile of vampire dust. “No matter how good you are, Slayer, mistakes are made. They can always be made, by you or by them. When they make the mistake, they get dusted. When you make the mistake…” He shook the thought away from him. “It’s happened before, and I don’t want it happening again. I want you to be safe, and even though I know you can take care of yourself, I want to take care of you too. And take care of me. I don’t want to feel like…like Riley felt when he went out with you.”

“You’re not Riley.”

“Damn straight I’m not. But I just wanted the strength that I had back. No other perks, I promise. Just wanted to be able to hold my own on patrol.” Buffy sighed heavily, placing her head against her forehead, as the world started to slowly spin around her. “Buffy? Luv, are you alright?”

“I think so. I think we should get home.”

“Eight months pregnant with twins? I think that’ll take it out of you, luv.” He pulled his arm around her. “You’re not mad?”

“I’m too tired to be mad right now, Spike.” She closed her eyes, and suddenly, she gripped his arm. He groaned in pain, and Spike held onto her, as she leaned forward, leaning her head against his chest.

“Buffy?”

“Uh…I think we need to get to the hospital.”

“What is it?”

“I think…I think my water just broke.”

Chapter 26

“You did so good, baby,” he whispered, placing kisses to her sweat-coated forehead as he held her hand. Despite the fact that it was all over, she was still squeezing his hand so tightly that his fingertips had turned white. “You were amazing.” At 36 weeks, both babies were born healthy, screaming, and beautiful. First born had been the little boy that Buffy had known all along that she was having. He’d come into the world with soft, blonde hair that was so light that it was barely noticeable. His eyes were the brightest blue that Buffy had ever seen, and she didn’t want to think that his eye color might change someday. She hoped they remained as bright blue as they were now. He was going to be a charmer one day, that was for certain.

The doctor had said that Buffy was lucky that the second baby was in the right position, and a C-Section wouldn’t be necessary. Lucky? How is getting to do this twice in ten minutes lucky? She had thought. But, Spike had remained at her side the entire time, holding her hand and staring only at her as his daughter was brought into the world. She looked so much like her brother with those same bright blue eyes, only her hair was a little curlier.

“I think they have your hair,” Buffy said with tears in her eyes.

“They look like you, luv,” Spike whispered, caressing her face, kissing her all over, worshipping her for the amazing things her body had been able to do this evening.

“They have your eyes too,” she breathed.

“They’re loud,” he laughed.

“You don’t expect me to claim that as my trait, do you?” she laughed, as a nurse brought one baby over. It was the boy.

“Here you go,” she said with a smile. “Five pounds, four ounces. Big and healthy for 36 weeks.”

“Thank you,” Buffy whispered, taking her son into her arms. She’d never thought she’d be here, holding a baby, being a mom, having her boyfriend at her side, holding her hand and telling her how amazing she was. She’d always figured she’d be the friend coming in to visit and awkwardly holding the baby, though not really wanting to out of fear of dropping it or something. But the moment she held her son in her arms, she imagined what her mother felt like the moment she first held her. “Hi. Hi there. I’m your mom. I’m sorry if…if I’m not what you expected.” Spike chuckled, and he kissed her again. “And this is Spike. He’s your dad.”

“And you can’t call me Spike…not until you’re old enough to pay your own rent, anyway.” He gently touched the top of the baby’s head. “God, Buffy. Look at him. He’s amazing.”

“He is, isn’t he?”

“We need a name for him,” Spike said gently.

“Beckett.”

“What?”

“I don’t know. It’s just the first name that popped into my head the minute I saw him.”

“Beckett, eh?”

“Yeah. Do you like it? Beckett William Pratt.”

“Beckett William,” Spike pondered. His eyes lit up, and he smiled. “Bex.”

“Bex,” Buffy said softly, her mouth turning up into a soft smile.

“Well, if his mum and dad can have nicknames, he’s gotta have one too.”

“Bex and Bella Pratt.”

“Bella?”

“Yeah.”

“Where’d you come up with Bella?”

“It means beautiful. And she is.” Buffy looked across the room, where a nurse was checking on the baby. “Isabella Elizabeth Pratt.”

“That’s beautiful, luv.” He softly kissed her lips, and he felt tears stinging his eyes. This was his family. He had a family. For the first time in over a hundred years, he had everything he’d ever wanted as a human the first time around. “It’s perfect.”

“Yeah?” Buffy asked softly. “I thought so.”

“Five pounds, three ounces,” the nurse announced, bringing the baby girl over and placing her in her mother’s arms. Buffy cradled both babies at once, and Spike leaned down to kiss Bella’s forehead.

“Bex and Bella. Oh, I smell trouble already,” Spike pointed out with a wink. Buffy laughed.

“It’s nothing we can’t handle, right?” Buffy pondered, kissing each of her children. She leaned close to Spike, whispering, “I mean, we make a good team, right? An ex vampire and a slayer?” She looked around. “The world didn’t come crashing down. I’m not dead. I think we’re in good shape. Uh, though you better call and make sure the other slayers are alright.”

“Right. Uh, who do you want me to call first?”

“Actually,” Buffy said softly, “I’d like to make the calls. Would you hold them?” Spike nodded nervously. He’d never really held a baby before. He’d never really been comfortable around children at all, except for Dawn, though she didn’t really count, because his memories of her as a child were fake, and she was a teenager when she really came into their lives.

“I’m new to this, Buffy. I…”

“So am I,” she said with a supportive grin. “Just support the head.” Spike nodded, and he took Bella first, and he leaned down, taking Bex securely into his other arm. He moved to sit in the chair next to the bed, and Buffy stared in awe at the man she loved and her children. Their children.

Buffy took the phone off the hook, and she knew immediately who to call first. She dialed the numbers with shaky fingers, and after two rings, a familiar voice answered.

“Hello?”

“Andrew?”

“Buffy? Which one is this?”

“Um, Buffy…the first Buffy,” she laughed.

“Okay, I’m not saying this to joke or anything, but considering the year we’ve been through, you mean the original Buffy, and not the First as Buffy.”

“Original,” Buffy replied tiredly. “Oh. Okay, good! I don’t think the First could pick up a phone anyway.”

“The First is buried under millions of tons of concrete.”

“Right.”

“Is my sister there?”

“Dawn? Um, no. She’s out at a club with Buffy #2.”

“She’s out at a club? On a school night?”

“Relax. They’re picking up a couple new slayers.”

“Oh! Good. Good. Um, so none of the slayers have lost their powers?”

“I don’t think so. Lucia just accidentally punched a hole in the bathroom door when she knocked, so I don’t think any powers have been lost.”

“Good,” Buffy replied, placing her hand to her forehead in relief. “Well, what time do you think she’ll be home?”

“It’s hard to tell. Missions like these could last for hours.” Yeah, I’ll bet, nerd boy. She’s probably getting drunk. Her grades better still be good, or I’ll… “I’ll tell her you called. What’s the message?”

“You can tell her she has a niece and a nephew.”

“Oh my God. They’re here? Oh! I bet they look just like you. Do they?”

“Actually, I think they look like Spike,” Buffy replied.

“Oh, okay. I’m so getting you a gift. What are their names?”

“Isabella and Beckett. We’re calling them Bella and Bex.”

“Bella and Bex. Cute. I like it. I’ll tell her. She’ll be mucho excited.” Buffy smiled.

“Okay. Just, um, tell her to call me tomorrow. Or later today for you.”

“Alright. And tell Spike I said congratulations.”

“I will. Thanks, Andrew.” Buffy hung up with a sigh, and she looked at Spike.

“Andrew says congratulations.”

“The Nibblet?”

“Out at a club. What time is it over there anyway? Are the clubs even open? You know what, never mind. I’m gonna call Willow.” She looked at Spike. “While I’m talking to her, I should ask her about what she did to you.” Spike sighed, shaking his head.

“Luv, don’t worry. All she did was a little spell that gave me my strength back. I’m still me. I’m just as strong as I was before.” Buffy nodded.

“I guess it doesn’t really matter now. Seeing them. Seeing you with them. I want them to be as safe as possible.” She smiled a little. “And I know it’s easier for you like this. It’s hard losing something you’ve come to depend on. It’s harder when it’s a person you lose. I don’t ever want to go through that again.” Spike shook his head.

“You won’t, luv. I promise you that.”

***

“Have you talked to Xander?” Willow asked later that night on the phone.

“I called, but I didn’t get an answer,” Buffy replied. “I left a voicemail. I don’t really know if he’ll call me back.”

“Buffy, he’s one of your best friends. Of course he’ll call you back.”

“Xander still can’t really accept Spike, you know? I don’t know if he’ll ever be able to accept the fact that we’re a family.”

“I don’t know. I think he’d accept it a lot easier if it wasn’t for losing Anya. It was rough on him. Losing the one you love is always hard. You know that better than anyone, I think. You’re just lucky you got a second chance.”

“Wil, I’m sorry. I know talking about this kind of stuff…especially since you and Kennedy…”

“It’s alright, Buffy. Really,” Willow assured her. “I was actually going to come back and visit.”

“You were?” Buffy asked.

“Yeah. I figure you could use some help in researching and…and everything. And with the babies here, you’re gonna need it more than ever.” She paused for a moment. “It’s awkward here, Buff. Kennedy says she understands that we aren’t right for each other, but she doesn’t look at me. Even working with her, seeking out the slayers…it’s uncomfortable. She says she can do it alone, and I think she can.”

“So…so you’re moving back?” As she was saying this, Spike came walking into the room, a bag full of smuggled in goodies hidden under his coat. He mouthed the word ‘who’ to Buffy, indicating he’d heard part of the conversation. She mouthed back that it was Willow. He just nodded.

“I’m moving back.”

“This is gonna be great, Wil!”

“Um, Buffy?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m gonna need a place to stay.”

“You can stay with us as long as you need to, until you find a place of your own. We have an extra room down the hall if you don’t mind sleeping next to the nursery.”

“Oh, that’s fine. I can always do a silence spell.”

“Wil!”

“Not on the babies! Just to make the room, you know, sound proof.”

“Oh. Okay. Speaking of spells. I know what you did for Spike.”

“You do? Buffy, I’m sorry I didn’t…that I did it behind your back, but…”

“I just want to thank you, Wil. I think it was the best thing for all of us.”

“Really?”

“Really. Thanks.”

“Oh! Well…you’re welcome.”

“When will you be home?”

“Give me a week?”

“Great. Bex and Bella are gonna love you.”

“I can’t wait to meet them. I’ll see you soon, ok?”

“Okay. Bye, Wil.” Buffy hung up and rubbed her eyes tiredly, yawning.

“So Red’s moving in with us?”

“Is that ok? I should have asked, but she just…”

“It’s alright, luv. She gave me my strength back. I don’t think it’s too much for her to ask for a place for a few weeks.”

“Thank you,” Buffy said with a smile. “I didn’t want to have to argue.”

“You should rest. Babies are safe and sound in the nursery. They’re bringing a cot in for me, and…”

“Spike?”

“Yeah, luv?”

“Could you ask the nurse to let them sleep in the room with us tonight? I don’t want to be away from them. Maybe it sounds stupid, but…they’ve been inside me all this time, and after everything…well, I just want them here. Near me.”

“It’s not stupid, pet. I’ll go talk to her.”

“Thanks.”

“Anytime, luv.” He bent down and kissed her forehead, smoothing back her hair. “We’ll all be right here tonight. Together.” The way it’s supposed to be.

***

“Sir. We’ve been informed that the slayer Elizabeth Anne Summers gave birth to fraternal twins in Hollows, Ohio at approximately 8:18 PM. Both infants are reportedly healthy and have no medical conditions. Baby A is a male, five pounds four ounces 19 inches long. Baby B is a female, five pounds three ounces, 19.5 inches long.”

“And Buffy…the mother.”

“Vitals are good. She’ll be discharged in two days.”

“And the father.”

“A William ‘Spike’ Pratt. Platinum blonde hair, blue eyes, 5’11” tall.”

“Spike.” He clenched his fist, banging it down on the oak table in front of him.

“Yes, sir? Is there a problem?”

“No. And the prophecy?”

“There appears to be no validity, but the slayer’s friend is a witch.”

“She could have done a spell.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Thank you, Thomas. That’ll be all.”

“When will we make the move?”

“Not yet. Soon.”

“Yes, sir.”

Chapter 27

Buffy yawned, walking into the nursery to find both Bex and Bella awake and ready to be fed. She smiled, picking them both up and carrying them into the master bedroom. Two warm bottles waited on the night stand, and Spike lay sleeping on his side of the bed. Buffy grinned and placed both Bex and Bella on the bed, right against their sleeping father. Bella let out a little squeak, and Spike slowly opened his eyes to stare directly at his beautiful babies.

“What time is it, Buffy?” he mumbled.

“Three forty five. A.M.”

“Brilliant,” he yawned, sitting up. He took Bella into his arms, and Buffy took Bex. She handed Spike a bottle, and she took the other. Together, they sat in an exhausted silence as the little ones suckled. The twins were a month old now, both already developing their personalities and making their parents exhausted at the same time. Willow was on her way to Ohio, which was fantastic, because the first thing Buffy was going to ask her when she arrived was if she could babysit. “How long did they sleep?”

“Two hours and forty three minutes. Their best time yet,” Buffy said with a proud and tired nod.

“How’re you holding up? How was patrol?”

“Oh, I’m alright. But before I staked a vamp, I burst out in tears and told him he didn’t know how hard it was being a slayer and a full-time mommy.” Spike winced. “I know. It wasn’t pretty, but he’s a big, fluffy pile o’ dust now, so it’s alright.”

“The world will never know.”

“Exactly.” She smiled.

“You’re feeling alright?”

“Still a little sore,” she admitted. “I thought for sure my super slayer healing powers would kick in for child birth too. Nope.”

“Sure worked on you getting your figure back though.”

“How about that, huh? You know, I was at the grocery store the other day with the babies, and nobody believed me when I told them they were mine. They all said they hated me, because I look like I do. It’s not my fault. You can vouch for me. I eat like a pig.”

“That you do, luv, but I think it’s sexy.”

“You would,” Buffy said with a laugh, rolling her eyes. “Wow, Bex is almost half done with his bottle.”

“Bella’s gonna beat him, I think.”

“They’re not competing,” Buffy pointed out, “but, man! Look at our girl go!” Buffy looked over to see Bella going to town on the bottle. “Why is it you can always get her to do anything? You can get her to sleep so much faster than I can, and she won’t go to sleep when I feed her, only when you do.” She nodded, as the baby’s eyes started to drift closed. “Case in point.”

“She’s her daddy’s girl, what can I say?” Buffy laughed, nodding.

“You have a point. Ugh, don’t tell me she’s going to be riding around on a motorcycle when she’s sixteen and wearing leather jackets.”

“Hey, her mum wears leather jackets.” He nodded toward the chair across the room, where Buffy’s coat was draped across the back of it.

“Oh. Well, she has to wear dresses sometimes.”

“When did you ever wear a dress, Slayer?” Buffy thought.

“Um…casually? When I was…oh, five? But prom? Hello? And I wore skirts.” She sighed. “I just want her to be all girly and pink, and…”

“If she’s not?”

“She’s still my little girl. And Bex…if he turns out like you, we might have to think about sending him to Uncle Xander, who has some residual memories from his time as a soldier.”

“One night, luv,” Spike replied.

“So? He was an officer!”

“Because of a sodding spell.”

“Yeah, well,” Buffy said quietly.

“Well, she sure as hell isn’t going to be like the me that I was before I was a vampire.”

“Even if he is?”

“Well…he’s my son.”

“Exactly. Oh look.” She nodded toward Bella, who had finished her bottle in record speed. “Why don’t you burp her and put her back to bed, Daddy.” Buffy winked at him, and he just furrowed his brows.

“You know, pet, that would’ve really got me going hot and heavy a while ago. Now, it has a whole other meaning.” Buffy laughed.

“You better get used to it. If she’s anything like me, she’ll be sweet talking you, calling you daddy to get the keys to the car, your credit card, and anything else she can possible squeeze out of you, because she’ll have you wrapped around her finger.”

“You’re probably right, luv.” He put the bottle on the night stand and stood up, putting the baby against his chest and gently rubbing and patting her back. “Come on, Bella. Off to bed again.” Spike left the room, and Buffy soon followed, trying to burp Bex. After she was satisfied with a couple of good rumblings out of the baby, she put him back in the crib with his sister. They were sharing a crib, as they seemed to sleep better that way.

“Look at ‘em. So peaceful when they’re sleeping. ‘Course, they’ll wake up in another couple hours, and we’ll be at this all over again.”

“Yeah. We should probably get back to bed and try to sleep.”

“Already on my way, luv,” Spike announced from the hallway. Buffy smiled and turned back to the crib. She leaned over it, watching the rising and falling of their tiny chests. It was incredible how something so instinctual, so simple, was so reassuring at the same time. Seeing their little fingers and toes curling in their sleep made her feel like all was right with the world, which was rare for a slayer.

With a contented sigh, she cast another glance down at her little ones before she tiptoed out of the room and back into the master bedroom. Spike was fumbling with the night stand drawer, and Buffy yawned, climbing into bed. He turned toward him but closed her eyes, and when he finally settled down in the bed, she was too tired to open her eyes. But, when he cleared his throat, she opened one eye and then another, focusing on something that was right in front of her face. She craned her neck back a little and looked at the faux velvet covered box.

“Spike?”

“I got you a little something, luv.” Buffy sat up in the bed, staring right into his misty blue eyes. “Just my way of saying thank you for...for giving me the family I never thought I’d have.”

“Spike…you didn’t have to…”

“And it’s my way of telling you that I love you,” he whispered, opening the lid to reveal a simple but elegant diamond ring, “and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Oh my God. Spike…I…why are you…I mean…”

“Luv, I’m trying to be romantic here,” he said with a sheepish smile. “If you don’t want it, I can take it back.”

“No!” she exclaimed. “I just…I’m surprised.”

“We live together, luv. We almost died for each other. Well, I died and came back, you went into a coma, and then you risked death to keep going and give us a family. I don’t think marriage is such a scary thing after all that, do you?” He took the ring out and put the box on the night stand. “Buffy, I love you. You can’t imagine what it’s like to go from being what I was to what I am now. I want to be good for you.”

“You’ve always been good for me,” Buffy admitted, “even when you weren’t.” She brushed away a tear. “Some Slayer, huh? Getting all misty eyed at a diamond ring? Must be the hormones.”

“Can’t blame everything on those, luv,” he chuckled. “What do you say? Wanna give me a shot?” She nodded.

“Yes, William. Yes. I’ll marry you.” She caressed the side of his face with her free hand, while he slid the diamond onto her ring finger, a perfect fit. She pulled her hand back and examined it carefully. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.” She wrapped her arms around him, giving him a soft, wet kiss, wishing they could take it further. But it was still too early. Before long, they both had to pull away. He didn’t want to hurt her, and she didn’t want to risk one very badly executed moment of passion. “Sorry. Just a few more weeks.”

“I can wait, luv. I’m not a patient man, but for you, I can wait.” He kissed her softly, and she curled up in his arms, and they both fell asleep, waiting for their next wake up call.

***

“You don’t think she’ll be mad, do you?”

“You’re her sister, Dawnie. She won’t be mad. Andrew and Buffy #2 can hold down the fort anyways.”

“We weren’t getting much action, and I have to see the babies. You sure they won’t mind me staying too?”

“Buffy couldn’t say no to her little sister, and Spike, well, you’re pretty much a sister to him too.”

“I know, but it’s different now. He’s…he’s a human. What if…”

“Trust me, Dawnie. He might be human, but he still looks at Buffy like he did. He loves her. He’s gonna be happy to see you.”

“I hope so,” Dawn replied. “I haven’t exactly been the best sister to Buffy.”

“She understands. You’ve been busy with school and everything.”

“Is Xander coming?”

“I don’t know. He isn’t too thrilled, you know?”

“He’s her friend. The fact that she’s with Spike shouldn’t matter.”

“I know, but Spike and Xander have a lot of bad blood between them…no pun intended.”

“What exactly did Spike ever do to Xander personally? Before he had the chip? He can’t be mad at that really, because Spike was an honest to goodness vampire. After the chip? Well, chips aren’t exactly souls. I get that now. And Spike and Buffy didn’t exactly have a healthy relationship before. Trust me, I’m still mad about what he did to her, but I know he’s better now, and he wouldn’t hurt her.”

“Don’t tell anyone I told you this, because I’ll deny every word,” Willow said quietly, as she and Dawn sat in the airport, waiting for their final flight.

“Oh,” Dawn said with a nod, making a motion as if she were zipping her lips.

“I don’t think Xander ever fully got over how he felt for Buffy. I think…I think he honestly loved Anya, and he wanted to be with her, but I think he still felt more for Buffy than a friend should. I think maybe that’s why he’s having such a hard time. I don’t know.”

“Maybe,” Dawn said quietly. “But if Buffy can forgive Spike, you’d think Xander could too.”

Chapter 28

“Morning, Dawnie,” Buffy said with a tired smile, as she flipped over a pancake on the stove.

“You cook now?”

“Not well,” Buffy laughed. “But I’m trying. You hungry?”

“I’ll get something on the way to school.”

“It’s Saturday.”

“Oh, right. Sorry, jet lag.”

“No problem. How’d you sleep last night?”

“Not bad. The couch is pretty comfortable.”

“Sorry about the cramped space.”

“Hey, I’m the one that didn’t tell you I was coming.”

“Still, I should always have room for my little sister.”

“It’s no big deal. Really!”

“The babies didn’t keep you up?”

“Surprisingly, no. Of course, I’m downstairs, and you’re all upstairs, and, best part? I have head phones.”

“Good call,” Buffy laughed, moving over to the sink and making up a few bottles for the day.

“Look at you. Buffy the Mom Slayer.” Dawn crinkled her nose. “Wait. That’s not right. But look at you, all in mommy mode. Mom would be proud.” Buffy turned to smile at her sister a bit sadly.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be as good a mom as our mom was. She always knew exactly what we needed without us having to tell her.”

“Well, when we were older, sure, but probably not when we were babies.”

“No, mom knew just what to do with you,” Buffy replied with a smile. “But I always wanted to help.”

“Yeah,” Dawn said quietly. “Well, I’m here to help you and Spike, so just tell me what to do.” Buffy thought for a moment, not wanting to ruin the sisterly moment but not being able to resist. “Want to learn how to change a diaper?” Dawn made a face. “What? You said you want to help.”

“Right. Okay.” Dawn grimaced and followed her sister up the stairs.

***

Willow and Dawn were seated in the living room, each one holding a baby in their arms. Both Buffy and Spike stood up before them, as if they were the parents about to tell their kids something very big.

“What’s going on?” Dawn asked. “It’s not bad, is it?”

“No, Dawnie. It’s not bad,” Buffy replied quietly.

“We have to tell ‘em sooner or later, luv. It’s not like they won’t find out.”

“You’re not pregnant again, are you?” Dawn asked.

“God no,” Buffy laughed. “I’m so not even thinking about more babies right now.” She looked at Spike, and he nodded to her. Buffy ran her hand against her upper thigh, feeling the ring in her pocket. She reached in, slipping the ring onto her finger, something she’d been aching to do since she woke up. But, they had wanted to break the news to them without them seeing the ring first, just so there wouldn’t be a rush of questions early in the morning, which functioning was almost impossible to do after barely any sleep.

“Oh my God,” Dawn gasped.

“Spike and I are getting married,” Buffy said with a nod.

“Oh my God!” Dawn exclaimed now, practically ready to burst out of her seat. But she held Bella in her arms, and the little one was half asleep. “Since when?!”

“Since two nights ago,” Buffy laughed.

“Wow,” Willow said softly. “Um, congratulations! Both of you.”

“Thanks, Red,” Spike said with a nod.

“When are you getting married? And what will your last name be?”

“We haven’t gotten all the legal stuff out of the way yet,” Buffy pointed out, “but I’m keeping my last name…well, hyphenating it, I guess. But the twins have Spike’s last name.”

“Spike has a last name?” Dawn asked.

“Well, I did when I was a lad, before I met Dru and everything.”

“Pratt,” Willow said slowly. “It’s Pratt, isn’t it? I think I remember reading…”

“Bex and Bella Pratt,” Buffy said with a quick nod. “Wil, Dawnie, I want both of you to be my maids of honor. I don’t care about tradition. Obviously. I mean, I’m marrying an ex-vampire.”

“Is that supposed to be an insult, pet?”

“No,” Buffy replied with a shrug. “But it’s true. I mean, you were a vampire.”

“Sure,” Spike replied, but you don’t have to keep bringing it up.”

“Spike, you were a vampire longer than you were a human. I think it’s worth bringing up.”

“To everyone?”

“To everyone who already knew.”

“We’d be honored, right, Willow?” Dawn asked, as Buffy looked at her best friend expectantly. Willow smiled, nodding.

“Of course, Buffy. Congratulations, again. I’m happy that you’re happy.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Willow smiled, and she handed Bex to his mother. “When’s the big day?”

“We were thinking soon,” Buffy said nervously.

“As in next week,” Spike pointed out. Both Dawn and Willow tensed up, looking at Buffy and Spike as if they were crazy.

“We don’t want to have some big, anticipated wedding like Xander and Anya. We all know how great that turned out.”

“Right,” Dawn said with a slow nod. “Next week it is.” She looked at Willow. “It looks like we have a wedding to plan.”

***

He listened to the audio from the bug that had been planted behind a flower pot in the new Summers-Pratt home. The sound of how happy she was, how thrilled she was to be marrying that…that thing, sickened him.

Pushing a button, he cleared his throat.

“Thomas, please come in here.”

“Yes, Sir.” Within a moment, the man came walking stiffly into the room. “What is it, Sir?”

“We’ll make our move in a week. She’s planning on marrying him.”

“We’re going to stop them?”

“No. We’ll make our move during the vows. She’s made her mind up, and there’s no way to convince her against marrying him. But we can do what we’ve come to do. All we need is a witch.”

“A witch, Sir?”

“A good one. Considering she’s got the best there is at her side, we’re going to have to settle for second best.”

“Do you know where to find her?”

“I’ll make some calls.”

“Yes, Sir. And what do you need me to do?” He looked down as a book was held out to him.

“Protect this with your life, and don’t let anyone see it.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Thank you, Thomas. You’re dismissed.”

***

A week had come and gone, and Buffy stood before a floor length mirror in her and Spike’s bedroom, looking at her flowing, white dress that clung to her and then flared out past the hips. It was simple but elegant, and her hair was done up simply, with a ringlet dangling down against her pale cheek.

“Oh my God, Buffy, Spike’s going to flip when he sees you.”

“You think?” Buffy asked, turning around, feeling very girly all of a sudden. Willow came in pushing the twin stroller, both babies curled up together, sleeping peacefully. Bex was decked out in a teeny tiny suit to match his daddy’s much larger one, and Bella wore a light blue dress to match Dawn and Willow’s.

It was going to be a very private ceremony. Of course, Giles, Xander, Faith, and the rest of the gang had been invited, but considering it was such short notice, nobody expected any of them to be there.

“You look amazing, Buffy.” Willow had to dab at her eyes a little. “And just so you know, Spike looks great in the suit you picked out.”

“How’s his hair? Slicked back or curly?”

“Slicked back, but I heard him putting up a fuss with himself over it,” Willow laughed.

“Great, my groom is talking to himself.”

“He looks great, and I think he’s over his nerves.”

“Good,” Buffy said, taking in a deep breath.

“How are your nerves, Buffy?” Dawn asked slowly, putting her hand on her sister’s shoulder.

“Just about shot. But this is a good day. A happy day. Nothing’s going to ruin it. Right?” There was silence. “Right?! This is where you’re supposed to reassure me, here, maids of honor!”

“Oh! Right,” Willow chirped.

“Right. Everything’s going to be fine,” Dawn said with a smile and a nod in confidence. Buffy turned to look at herself in the mirror, and she closed her eyes.

“I’m getting married today. I’m marrying Spike. I’m marrying the one man I thought I was going to hate for the rest of my life. And I’ve never felt more right about anything else.”

***

The ceremony seemed to fly by. The babies slept quietly through the simple service. Rings were exchanged, and after the vows, the preacher pronounced them husband and wife. All noises outside seemed to stop as they leaned in for their first kiss as husband and wife. Buffy smiled against his lips, bringing her arms around his shoulders, pulling him close, kissing him, giving him the best memory she could of this perfect afternoon.

“I love you, Mrs. Spike,” he whispered, his lips a breath apart from hers.

“I love you too…Mr. . . .Buffy?” Spike chuckled at Buffy’s quirky sense of humor, and he kissed her again. When they finally parted, they had to deal with the legal things, such as the marriage certificate. Luckily, they’d worked out the legalities, such as Spike’s name, and why he hadn’t been in the system before, but it was all taken care of, and with a few swipes of a pen across paper, it was official. They were married. Two one-time natural enemies, now both human, both going into a new life, ready to die for each other, but hoping they wouldn’t have to so they could spend many more years like this. As corny as it sounded, it was exactly what each of them wanted.

When the ceremony was over, Spike picked up Bex, and Buffy picked up Bella, and Willow and Dawn crowded in, as the preacher took a photo of the family. The babies slept through it all, and when they were placed back in the stroller, they both only briefly opened their eyes and then fell back into a deep sleep.

While Spike took the preacher aside and paid him, Buffy, Willow, and Dawn talked quietly, but when Buffy looked out of the corner of her eye, she saw, standing on her back porch, the figure of someone she’d thought she would never see again. Her eyes widened, and she ran over to him, despite their differences, and threw her arms around him in a happy hug.

“Xander!”

“Hey Buff,” he said with a half-smile, hugging her tight, lingering a little long, but not too long. In a few moments, the preacher was walking past them, going through the house, and heading out to officiate at another wedding. The rest of the group gathered around.

“Didn’t think I’d miss my best friend’s wedding, did you?”

“Well, to be honest,” Buffy said, “I did.” Xander nodded in understanding, and he looked over at Spike, seeing him for the first time as a human being.

“Gotta say, you don’t look any different.”

“No fangs. No bumps,” Spike said with a shrug.

“Ah, well, I can see you’re still keeping the peroxide company in business.”

“Xander,” Willow groaned.

“It’s alright, Red,” Spike chuckled. “Um, you want to help me with that…uh, thing?”

“Huh?” Spike raised his eyebrows.

“Oh! Um, yeah.” There was no thing, but she, like Spike, understood that Buffy and Xander needed some time. So, they headed out toward the back of the yard, where the wedding had taken place, and Dawn took control of the stroller.

“I’m gonna take them upstairs and put them to bed. Okay?”

“Thanks, Dawnie. Thanks for everything.” Buffy hugged her sister. Dawn smiled, quickly hugged Xander, and then headed into the house.

Xander held Buffy out at arm’s length to look at her, much like a father would look at his daughter right before her first prom.

“I can’t believe you came. You’re really…you’re really here.”

“Where else would I be? Besides, I needed a break from the bot, and from the screaming teenage girls who don’t quite know how to control their slayer powers. Let me just say, that myth about synchronized…well, you know.” He shuddered. “It’s true, anyway. Imagine thirty girls, all demanding chocolate…it’s not pretty, Buffy. Luckily, your wedding fell on the exact week I needed to get out of there.” Buffy laughed.

“I’m glad I could help you out.”

“You look beautiful, Buffy. And are you sure you had twins?”

“I’m sure,” she laughed. “You’ll have to meet them later. I’d have introduced you now, but, as you could see, they were sleeping.”

“They look just like you.”

“Nah,” Buffy replied. “They look like Spike.”

“Guess it’s still too early to tell, huh? Plus, you know, I’m only judging based on one eye.” He pointed toward his patch. Buffy hugged him again.

“Thanks for coming. I know it probably wasn’t easy.”

“Not really. But hey, you weren’t exactly Anya’s biggest fan, and you were there. Stayed the whole day. I owed you one.”

“That’s not the only reason you came, is it?” Xander shook his head, looking down.

“Of course not. I missed you, Buff. I miss hanging out. With everything so crazy, and all of us being scattered all over the place, it’s nice to get together again.”

“Yeah. It is.”

“So you’re a married woman now. A wife.”

“By day. Still beating the crap out of demons at night.”

“What do you say…tonight, you, me, Wil…we go patrolling just like old times.”

“Xander, it’s my wedding night.”

“Right.”

“Spike’ll come too.”

“You sure have strange ideas about romance, Buff,” Xander said with a goofy smile. Buffy laughed and nodded her head, glancing over at Spike.

“He might not be a vampire anymore, but he still likes a good night of patrolling. I’ll see if Dawnie minds babysitting, and…” A scream came from inside the house, and everyone turned toward the sound. “Dawn!”

Spike came running from the back of the yard, and he and Buffy were the first ones through the door. Rushing up the stairs, their worst fears played through their thoughts, until they found Dawn lying unconscious in the middle of the floor with an empty stroller. That was the moment their worst fears became real.

Chapter 29

She ran, lungs burning, legs aching, head pounding, feet slamming against the concrete as flew down the street, clad in wedding dress and sensible shoes. The moment she’d realized her children were missing, she’d rushed out of the house, turned one way, ran as fast as she could, while Spike went the other way. Willow and Xander had stayed behind with Dawn, though Willow was focusing on trying to track the kidnappers with her mind. However, she found that she was unable.

She knew she was getting nowhere, but she couldn’t stop running, couldn’t stop, because if she did, she’d realized she’d just failed her family. She’d failed worse than she ever had before.

Passing cars slowed, some just so the passengers could stare, some so they could ask if she needed help. But she couldn’t hear them. Her heart was pounding in her ears, and when she finally slowed enough to let her thoughts sink in, she doubled over, vomiting in the street.

This isn’t happening. Wake up, Buffy. Wake up. You’re dreaming. Wake up. She retched again, clutching her stomach, and soon, she was still, standing there, looking down the road, listening for any signs of her children. It was silent. Nothing but the distant hum of cars of the highway filled the air.

A car pulled up next to her, and she knew who it was.

“Buffy. Get in the car.”

“No.”

“We’re going to the police,” Xander pointed out.

“Dawn?”

“She’s coming to. She didn’t see anybody. They came at her from behind. Come on. We’re going to go back home. Willow’s on the phone with the cops right now.”

“Xander, you know as well as I do that the cops can’t help. The children of a Slayer go missing? No, I don’t think it’s a coincidence.”

“Luv,” Spike said from the driver’s seat. Xander sat in the back, looking pleadingly at his friend.

“Come on. We’re going to go home and wait for the cops.”

“Our babies, Spike. They’re just…they’re just gone.”

“And we’re going to get them back.” She could hear the uncertainty and the fear in his voice. He was just as scared as she was, but she was standing here in the middle of the road next to a puddle of vomit, wearing her wedding dress that was starting to cling to her skin from the sweat. “Buffy,” Spike said gently. “We’re wasting time, luv. Let’s get in the car and go back and wait for the police. Right now, we don’t have any other option.” Buffy’s throat was dry, and she clutched at her dress. Finally, she turned and walked around the car, numbly getting in the passenger’s side.

“I need your cell phone,” she said quietly.

“What for?” He handed it over to her, and she began to dial.

“I’m calling Angel.”

“What?” But Buffy said no more. She listened to the other line ring, and finally, she heard his voice.

“Hello?”

“Angel, it’s me.”

“Buffy?”

“I need you to be honest with me,” she said calmly, as if she were giving an order to a fellow Slayer.

“Okay…what’s going on?”

“Isabella and Beckett were kidnapped, and I need you to tell me nobody you know had anything to do with it.”

“Buffy, why would you think that…”

“You run Wolfram and Hart. We were there, and everyone knew about the pregnancy. Was anybody missing today?”

“No…no, I can have Fred double check, but I think everyone was accounted for. You…you said they were kidnapped?”

“Somebody got into the house, knocked out Dawn and took them out of their stroller, Angel. On my wedding day. While we were outside. They took them, Angel.” Angel closed his eyes, painfully reliving the moment Connor was taken out of his life, forever changing their entire lives.

“I’ll look into it. I‘ll be in touch, alright?” Buffy said nothing. She only hung up the phone, letting it drop silently in her lap. Xander placed his hand on her shoulder from the backseat.

“We’ll find them, Buffy. We will.”

“This isn’t some mission…some patrol at the graveyard, Xander. These are my kids, and whoever has them knows they’re mine. They know they’re Spike’s. They know about the prophecy.”

“The prophecy’s gone, luv,” Spike assured her.

“But they know they’re important. They might know more than we know.” Spike took his wife’s hand and gave it a squeeze.

“We’re going to get them back. I swear to God, Buffy. And I will spend the rest of my life making the son of a bitch who took them pay for what he did.” Buffy closed her eyes, and she leaned forward in her seat, burying her face in her hands. But the tears didn’t come. They were frozen, just as she felt right now.

***

Dawn sat still in the living room, as the cops walked out the front door. There was no trace of anybody, or anything that could have come in and taken the kids. Who could have slipped in and out without disturbing anything, knocked Dawn out, and taken the babies without anybody knowing? Somebody with skill in stealth, certainly.

Buffy sat across from Dawn, neither speaking, both stunned, numb, unable to form words.

Spike was pacing back and forth on the phone, talking to Giles. Buffy was shocked into silence, and Willow was still trying to get some kind of feeling about who had been in the house, but she was coming up short at every angle.

“Just an hour ago,” Spike said urgently. “If you find anything, let us know. No. Don’t worry about the time. Don’t think anybody’ll be sleeping tonight.” He hung up the phone, placing it down on the table. He continued to pace. He was only quiet for a moment, before he started for the door.

“Whoa, where are you going?” Xander asked.

“I have to do something. They’re getting further away the longer we sit here.”

“They had to have come here for a reason. I’m sure we’ll hear from them.”

“By then it could be too late,” Spike insisted. His eyes were full of fear and worry, and Xander wondered if he was going to start crying. His jaw was tense, and his entire body seemed to be trembling.

“Look,” Xander whispered so only Spike could hear, “I’ll go out and look. Just…” He looked over his shoulder to see Buffy on the verge of breaking down. She wasn’t going to do it, though. She was going to fight it back, and for the meantime, she was going to win. “Go sit with her. I’ll go. Just…she needs somebody, and I think you’re the only one that can help her.” You’re the only one who can ever help her, he thought. Spike finally gave in and went to join Buffy on the couch. Xander moved over to crouch in front of Buffy. “I’ll be back, alright? I’m going to go look.” She only continued staring ahead.

Turning to Dawn, Xander placed his hand on her knee. “Are you alright?”

“This is my fault.”

“No, Dawn. It’s not,” Xander whispered. “You were just being a good aunt and taking care of them.”

“He’s right, Nibblet,” Spike said softly, pulling his arm around Buffy. She didn’t make a move to lean into his embrace. She only continued staring ahead, much like she had after Glory had taken Dawn. Not moving. Not feeling. Not responding at all. Only he knew she was feeling. She was feeling a lot of things, only she couldn’t express them. Not yet. “Nobody blames you, pet.” Dawn looked at Buffy, her own eyes already spilling over with tears. She wiped her eyes and shook her head.

“I don’t think that’s true,” she whispered. With that, she tore herself away from the living room and ran up the stairs to the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

***

He peered into the small, bright room, where the two tiny infants cried for their mother. He felt a slight pang in his heart, feeling as if this was wrong, but he quickly shook away the feeling, knowing this was his job. This had to be done, because nobody else was going to do it.

“Sir, everything’s ready.”

“The witch?”

“She’s starting the spell now.”

“Alright.”

“Sir, we…we don’t have to do this.” He turned on his heels to face his employee.

“You don’t get to say those kinds of things, Thomas. I say those things, but I can’t say them now. This has to be done.”

“Yes, but she’s the Slayer, Sir. Eventually, she’s going to find us.”

“I’ll deal with that if the time comes.” He turned back to the window, and he closed his eyes. “It’s what’s best. Deep down, as a slayer, she knows that.”

“But as a mother, Sir? Do you really think she’s going to care about what you think’s best?”

“I don’t expect she will, Thomas. That’s why we’re doing this now. That’s why we’ve been plotting this since the moment we learned she was carrying half-breed children.”

“But they’re not…”

“I need to know for sure,” he replied. “I need to know…” The room began to tremble, and the two men made their way to into the next room. Thomas stood back to watch his boss pick up both children in his arms. “It’s for the best.” Thomas nodded slowly and opened to large, steel doors, revealing bright, crackling light sparkling about the room, as a vortex began to spin around and around in the center of the room before gaping wide open, inviting them in.

The room was so loud words were almost inaudible, but Thomas leaned in to hear his boss ask at the top of his voice if the witch knew to leave the portal open long enough. With a nod from Thomas, he stepped forward, a screaming infant in each arm, and was pulled instantly into the vortex, disappearing from the room in a flash.

***

“I knew,” Buffy whispered, as she and Spike sat on the back porch, looking out into the black night, looking toward the spot where just a few hours ago, they had been so happy, so ready to start a new life together. Now, it was cold, and thunder rumbled somewhere in the distance.

“What?”

“I knew something was going to happen. Something bad,” she whispered, “but I blew it off, because the dreams went away.”

“What dreams?” Spike asked.

“Before the babies. I had dreams, and you were warning me that someone was coming.”

“Buffy, that could have been about…”

“I think it was about this,” she whispered. “I…I know it was. I can feel it. And now we have no way of knowing where they are.”

“We’re going to find them, luv. I know we will.” Buffy shook her head, which felt so heavy and full. “Giles is working on it, Angel too. Xander’s been out looking, and Willow…”

“The police didn’t know anything, and I don’t think they ever will.” She closed her eyes. “They’re just gone, Spike. They’re gone. One minute, they were sleeping, and Dawn was taking them to their room, and the next…”

“Try not to think about it, luv.”

“It’s all I can think about!” Buffy snapped. “I haven’t felt this helpless since…since my mom got sick. I need to do something, but I can’t, and I don’t even know how to start trying…” Spike squeezed her hand, kissing her temple.

“It’s gonna be alright, luv.”

“How can you be so calm? They’re your kids too!”

“Buffy, I’m not calm. I’m far from calm, but losing my senses isn’t going to help get us out of this.”

“You know,” Buffy whispered flatly, “when you were a vampire, you’d already be hot on their trail.” She stood up, dusting pants off. “I miss that.” She turned and headed into the house, leaving Spike to his thoughts.

Maybe she’s right. What’s the good of having strength if I can’t track, if I can’t hunt, if I can’t be useful to her when she needs me now? He sat thinking for a few more minutes before deciding that he knew what he needed to do. He needed to find the low lives and get some answers from them. Maybe a demon or a vampire would have some clues. The only thing was, he was mortal now, and despite his strength, he could still be killed, and despite his new wife’s incredible physical and emotional strength, he wasn’t sure she could take losing her husband and her children in one day.

He went out to the shed along the fence out back, and he opened up the padlock, pulled out two stakes, a small double sided axe, and a bottle of holy water. He was going to find his children if it took the last breath in his body to do it.

Chapter 30

“Where the hell are you going?” Buffy asked from the back door, as Spike closed the shed door. She stood, arms crossed, eyes sad and lifeless, and waited for his answer.

“I’m going to find our kids,” he replied, glancing up at her only briefly.

“You were going to go without telling me, weren’t you?”

“You should stay here.”

“No,” Buffy replied angrily. “If anyone should stay here, it’s you.” She stormed out onto the back porch, and Spike moved up to stand in front of her.

“I have every right to go out there.”

“I didn’t say you didn’t. But I’ve already lost you once this year, and I don’t plan on losing you on the same night our…” She took a deep breath. “I’m coming with you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Yes I do. I have to go. We’re going to find them.” Buffy crossed her arms in a ‘that’s that’ type manner, and Spike nodded.

“Alright, luv. Let’s go get our kids.”

“I’m coming too.” Xander, who’d just returned from his own excursion came walking into the back yard.

“Any leads?” Buffy asked, the color returning to her face with each moment.

“It’s not much, but the guy who runs the bar on Main said he saw an unmarked van about three hours ago. It was speeding East. Tore through a couple intersections, caused a few minor crashes.” Buffy and Spike looked at one another decisively.

“We’ll start there.”

“I’m coming too. I can do a few locator spells.”

“Great,” Buffy nodded.

“I’m coming too.” Dawn came walking out of the house with a crossbow in one hand and an axe in another.

“Dawnie, you should stay here,” Buffy said quietly, “in case someone calls.”

“No!” Dawn cringed. “I’m not staying. I want to help. I know you blame me, and that’s fine, but…”

“I don’t blame you, Dawn,” Buffy said softly, stepping up in front of her sister. “I’m sorry if that’s what you thought. I’m just…I’m afraid.”

“Well I’m going to help.”

“You can help me by staying here, out of harm’s way.”

“But…”

“I’m not trying to be the big sister right now. I’m trying to be smart and keep somebody by the phones. We don’t know who has them, and we don’t know if they’ll call. Maybe the police will call. I don’t know. But, somebody has to stay.” Dawn, realizing her sister had a point, nodded and handed her the weapons.

“I’ll call if anybody calls here.”

“Thanks, Nibblet,” Spike said with a nod. “Everyone ready?” Nobody said a word otherwise. “Then let’s get going.”

***

In true patrolling fashion, the small group gathered outside of the car for further briefing on the situation. They were parked in front of an abandoned warehouse outside of town, east of the bar, where the owner had claimed to see an unmarked van. It was a long shot, but Buffy knew that it was possible that the kidnappers were inside. Anything was possible in her world.

“Spike and I are going in around back. Willow, you try a locator spell. See if you can channel…something.”

“Mystical energy. Got it.” Willow moved out of the way to give it a try.

“Xander…I need you to go in the front. They’re more than likely not there, but they could be hiding the babies there.”

“Alright,” Xander said quickly. “I’m ready.” Buffy nodded and looked at Spike. As they headed for the building, a gasp from behind them made them all spin to look back.

“Wil?” Buffy asked.

“Amy,” she hissed, her eyes blackened as she stood. “Amy’s here.” Buffy watched her friend standing there stiffly, eyes straight ahead.

“Wil, take us to her,” Buffy whispered, almost inaudibly. But the witch could hear perfectly. Willow started out ahead, and they all followed silently. Buffy held her hand out, her fingertips reaching for the warmth of Spike’s hand, and when she found it, they clasped onto one another desperately.

The air grew colder, and Buffy tensed up. She was holding her breath, her heart was pounding, and she was growing dizzy. But, she calmed herself, and she continued on.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “For what I said to you.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, luv,” he assured her. “You’ve said much worse things to me in the past. It was nothing.”

“I’m still sorry. It’s a good thing that you’re human. It’s just…I felt…”

“Helpless?”

“Yeah.”

“Me too.”

With a wave of her hand, Willow commanded the double doors to open, and they did so with a heavy crack against the cement wall, busting them off the frame. Buffy shivered at her friend’s power, and she closed her eyes, gripping Spike’s hand tighter.

Willow spoke a few syllables of Latin, and a bright glow filled the dark passage.

“This place reminds me of the factory in Sunnydale,” Xander commented quietly.

“That place was much more homey,” Spike protested.

“Yeah, to an evil vampire,” Xander muttered.

“Will you both shut up? Let her work,” Buffy snipped, flashing a glare at her friend and her husband.

The passage took several twists and turns, before they came upon another set of much heavier doors. There was an electric hum emanating from the other side, and they all prepared themselves, as Willow forced the doors open with her mind. Buffy didn’t even want to take a stab at what color her friend’s eyes had become, but her hair was a dark brown, not quite black, and Buffy hoped her friend could pull herself away from the darkness before it was too late.

Shrugging off the worry, Buffy walked into the room, where a vortex swirled open and growing larger by the minute.

“Oh my God,” she whispered. Sitting in the center of the room was Amy, eyes closed, hands outspread, fingertips sparkling with red energy.

“AMY!” Willow screamed, her voice more deafening than the sound of the spinning portal. Amy’s eyes flew open, but the look on her face didn’t show surprise or shock.

“It’s too late. They’ve gone through.”

“Undo it,” Willow ordered, walking across the room, standing in front of Amy, as Spike, Buffy, and Xander gathered round. Buffy held firmly onto the axe, threatening to swing at any moment.

“I can’t. They’ve already gone through.”

“Pull them out, then,” Spike growled.

“He gave me strict orders not to!”

“Who?” Buffy asked, placing the cold steel to the witch’s neck.

“If you kill me, you’ll never see them again,” she warned, eyes serious, a bit of mischief lying somewhere underneath.

“Undo it now, Amy,” Willow warned, eyes and tone of voice blackening. “You know what I can do. You know.” Buffy caught a glimmer of fear for a moment in Amy’s gaze. “Whatever you did, you undo it, or this is going to be a lot more painful on you than it already will be.”

“Willow, you don’t understand,” Amy started, deciding to take a different approach. “They made me, and I…”

“Save it,” Xander ordered. “Stop this.”

It was a standstill, two witches staring at each other, neither one backing down, as Willow began to chant a spell that obviously had Amy freaking out. Buffy and Spike were both at the point of preparing to knock Amy over, hopefully disrupting the vortex.

A snapping sound began to form in the swirling mass, and the Slayer turned toward it.

“He’s not finished yet!” Amy screamed at Willow.

“Not finished what?” Buffy demanded.

“Where are they?! Where are my kids?”

“He won’t hurt them!” she pleaded, as Willow came close to ending her spell, which Amy obviously knew was going to end badly.

Finally, unable to take it anymore, Spike knelt down next to Amy, knife at her throat.

“You bring him out, whoever he is, and if he’s anything at all, even made them cry, I’ll kill him, and Red here will kill you.”

“He just wants to know…he wants to know…”

“Hecate, bless me with your power. Hecate release…”

“NO!” Amy screamed. She frantically spoke something in Latin, and the room began to shake. Her eyes widened, and she gasped. “They’re coming!” Spike instinctively grabbed for Buffy, and they held onto one another, as they were knocked to the ground. Amy flew back, landing hard against the door, and Willow and Xander were blown to the side. The vortex began to swirl unstably, and the snapping grew louder. Finally, a gush of what could only be perceived as wind, came whipping out of the center, knocking them all flat as they tried to stand. Spike covered Buffy, hoping he could pin her down and manage saving them both from whatever was about to happen.

But as quickly as the portal had gone unstable, it was gone, and standing in the center of the room was a man with two infants wrapped in his arms. Buffy was the first to look up, and her eyes filled with shock, surprise, and anger as she forced herself to stand.

“You,” she seethed through clenched teeth. Spike, Willow, and Xander all looked up to see the kidnapper.

“Buffy, I…”

“No!” she screamed. “You don’t speak to me. You don’t look at me.” He looked away. “Wil…the babies.” Willow rushed over to take the babies, quickly handing one to Xander, and they both examined them for harm.

Buffy lunged at him, knocking him to the ground. She’d always been stronger than him.

“Buffy, wait!” he exclaimed.

“Shut up, Riley! Shut the hell up!” She packed a punch right into his jaw, and he brought his hand there to sooth the hurt. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“Where’s Amy?” Willow asked suddenly. They all turned to see that the place Amy had landed by the door was empty, and the door was slightly ajar. Willow handed the other baby to Xander, and she rushed out to see if she could find her. Buffy turned her full attention back to Riley.

“Please, let me ex…”

“Shut up,” she growled, hitting him again. Spike, coming to his senses, pulled Buffy off of him. She fought him every step of the way, but soon, Riley was getting to his feet, and Spike was lunging at him, tossing him back against the wall, picking him up by the throat, squeezing the breath out of him.

“I’ll kill you. Don’t think that I won’t. Don’t think that just because I’m not a demon anymore that I won’t rip your bloody throat out and dance on your sodding grave.” Riley struggled, clawing at Spike’s hand, trying to pull it away from his throat.

“I…explain…I…can…” he gasped.

“Spike,” Buffy said softly, putting her hand on his shoulder.

“He took them, Buffy! He could have killed them!”

“Spike, let go.”

“No! I was supposed to protect them! We were supposed to…and he took them!”

“Let go!” Buffy ordered. “Let him go! We need answers, and he’s no good to us dead.” Spike squeezed his neck just a little tighter before finally letting him go. Riley’s knees buckled, and he fell to the floor gasping for breath. As he looked up, all he saw was Spike’s boot coming toward his face, and then everything went black.

Chapter 31

“Look at you,” Buffy whispered as she rocked Bella in her arms, kissing her soft cheek. “Not a scratch.” She looked over at Spike. “How about Bex?”

“He’s perfect,” Spike whispered. “Sleeping soundly.” He ran his fingers over the soft peach fuzz on the baby’s head. “We’re never letting them out of our sights again.”

“The important thing is that they’re safe.”

“And he’s hog tied in the basement.”

“How could he do this?” Buffy asked softly. “How could he just…”

“I don’t know, luv.” Buffy closed her eyes, looking down at her little girl.

“If anything had happened to them, Spike, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I always thought being the Slayer was the most important thing in my life now, but obviously, things turned out a lot different. Spike, I don’t want them to be in danger, but it’s part of my life. It’s part of theirs.”

“We’ll do better, Buffy. We’ll do better.” He pulled his arm around her, as they sat on the end of the bed. Each of them held a child in their arms, and the room was so quiet, so peaceful. Buffy closed her eyes, resting her head on Spike’s shoulder. “Some wedding night, hmm?”

“Yeah,” Buffy whispered. “A night to remember.” Bella yawned, stretching in her mother’s arms before relaxing and continuing to sleep peacefully. For the first time that night, Buffy allowed the emotions to roll over her, sweeping her under, flooding her entire being. She began to sob, and Spike’s jaw tensed, as he rubbed her arm, trying to console her. All he could do was pull her closer, and she cried on his shoulder, letting herself be weak and vulnerable. Now that her babies were safe, she had a moment. She could be this way with him. “I wanna know why.”

“We’ll find out why. Tomorrow. Right now, we’re going to sleep. We’re going to go to bed exactly like we did last night. With the babies safe in their bed.” Buffy nodded.

“I want them to sleep in here tonight. I’d feel better.”

“Me too,” Spike said with a nod. “I’ll pull the bassinet in.” He handed Bex to his mother, and she held each child in her arms. She kissed and rocked them both, letting the tears continue to fall.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll do better. I promise. I won’t ever let you grow up alone. I’ll be more careful. I’ll do better to…to make you feel safe.” Spike entered the room, wheeling in the bassinet. The babies were still small enough to fit in it together, and since they always slept so well when they were side by side, he took the babies from her one at a time and tucked them in next to one another. They continued to sleep, as he placed the bassinet in the corner.

Buffy had managed to slip under the covers as he tucked the babies in, and as he crossed the room and joined her, he flicked the light switch, enveloping them in darkness, which soon gave way to the slivery blue moonlight that filtered in through the balcony doors.

She shivered until his arms wrapped around her, pulling her against him. His chest rose and fell against her back, and she closed her eyes, letting his heartbeat relax her, as he buried his face against her neck, placing a sweet kiss there.

“Go to sleep, luv. We’ll get our answers tomorrow.”

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too, pet.” He placed another kiss, this time to her shoulder, and closed his eyes, letting the tension and fear and anger from the day melt away as he fell asleep just as he was supposed to: with his wife in his arms and his children sleeping safely and soundly just a few feet away.

***

“Where do you want me to start?”

“Start from the beginning.”

“The very beginning?”

“Just when my kids become involved. That’s all I want to know about,” Buffy said, crossing her arms as she stood in front of Riley, who was chained to a strong, steel pole in the dark basement. “I don’t want to know how you’ve been, how your wife is, where she is, for that matter, or anything else you might want to share. I just want to know why you took them, where you took them, and what you did them.”

Riley looked up at Buffy and then over at Spike, who stood near the stairs, whittling a fresh stake for tonight’s patrol.

“You’re not going to believe me.”

“Oh, I think you’re going to tell me the truth, because I’ll know if you’re lying. And you won’t like the consequences.”

“Alright,” Riley grimaced, trying to situate himself. “As you can probably tell by this,” he began, gesturing toward his attire, “I took over the Initiative. They put me completely in charge, so I have men out looking for me right now.”

“Then you’d better talk fast,” Spike muttered.

“Alright. It’s simple. It…it really is. We’ve been keeping track of you. There’s…there’s a bug in your living room right now. There’s one in each room of the house.”

“You’re going to tell us where they are.”

“I will. I’ll show you even,” Riley assured them.

“Go on,” Buffy replied, her gaze hard and menacing.

“As head of the initiative, it was my job to keep up to date with everything. We found out you and Spike were having the babies, and it was important that we run tests, that we know if they were human, or…”

“You could have asked.”

“We needed samples. We needed specific tests, Buffy,” Riley explained. “I could have sent any of the men to do the job, but I wanted to make sure they wouldn’t get hurt. That’s why I did it myself.” He looked from her to Spike. “I also wanted to find out if it was really true. If he actually got you pregnant.” He cleared his throat. “Then I read about the prophecy, the amulet, everything. It was a mystical pregnancy, Buffy. We had to do tests.”

“On my kids,” she said bitterly.

“If it had happened to anyone, we’d have wanted to run tests, but in this case especially. The children of a Slayer and a vampire? He was a vampire when you became pregnant, despite the way you got pregnant. There was an entire prophecy written around your pregnancy. We couldn’t just over look that.”

“No. You had to break into my house, take my kids, and get Amy involved.”

“We needed a good witch.”

“What about the portal, mate?” Spike asked. “What was with the light show, hmm?”

“That was a safety precaution. I was going to take them out of this dimension just long enough to run the tests, and it was only going to take a few minutes, but it felt like as soon as I’d gotten where I was going, Amy was pulling us back out.”

“You didn’t test them?”

“I didn’t have time. The time between the two dimensions is much different. I may have been gone an hour here, but there? It was half a second, if that. Some dimensions…some dimensions you can be gone a moment here, but twenty years there. It varies from dimensions.” He tried to move toward Buffy, but his shackles pulled. “I didn’t hurt them, I swear.”

“Fine,” Buffy replied with a nod. She headed back toward Spike, and together, they started up the stairs.

“Are you going to let me go?” he asked. Buffy didn’t answer. She took Spike’s hand, and they left Riley alone in the dark basement to await their decision.

***

“He was telling the truth,” Buffy said quietly, as she and Spike sat at the kitchen table nursing two cups of hot coffee.

“Doesn’t make up for what he did.”

“No, it doesn’t. But what are we going to do, Spike? We can’t kill him.”

“But we can let him go back there? The slightest thing happens, and he could come back for them.”

“He won’t,” Buffy replied. As much as she hated what Riley had done, she couldn’t kill him. She couldn’t kill a human being, despite the fact that she would do anything to protect her children. “We can move.”

“He’ll find us. The Initiative can do anything. And they’re probably listening to us right now. The place is bugged, remember?”

“I can’t believe Riley could do something like that,” Dawn said quietly, sitting down in an empty seat.

“Dawnie, the babies?”

“Willow and Xander are feeding them,” she assured them. “He was always so nice to me. I don’t understand.”

“Good people do bad things sometimes, Dawn,” Buffy said quietly. Spike smirked.

“Good people? So we’re just going to let him go? Not even a slap on the hand for taking them, hmm?”

“I don’t know what else to do, Spike.” Buffy ran her fingers through her hair. “I just want him out of here. I want him away from them.”

“What’s to say he won’t try to take them again?” Dawn wondered. Buffy shook her head.

“He won’t.”

“So you’re just going to trust him, then?”

“No,” Buffy replied. “I’m going to make sure he doesn’t. We need Wil.”

“I’ll get her,” Dawn offered. She disappeared up the back stairs, and Spike glanced at Buffy.

“What are you up to?”

“Maybe Willow knows a way to get past the Initiative.”

“Whaddya mean?”

“I mean maybe she knows a cloaking spell. One that keeps us off of the Initiative’s radar. One that won’t let them come after us ever again.”

“You think it’ll work?”

“It’s worth a shot.”

***

Spike and Buffy leaned against the back of their car, as Xander marched Riley down the road a few yards. After having made him go through the house and deactivate all of the planted bugs, and with Willow doing a clean sweep with a little revealing spell, they’d all piled into the car and driven out into the middle of the road, dropping Riley off with enough water to last him until he go back into town. By the time that happened, they would be long gone. They would be packing up to relocate to a place the Initiative would never find them.

“I’m sorry for what happened,” Riley called to Buffy. Buffy said nothing to her ex. She just watched as Xander headed back over to them. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you. I was just doing my job.”

“Now she’s doing hers,” Xander replied, turning to stand next to Buffy and Spike. As much as Spike was not his favorite person, he could respect that Spike was trying to make a new, decent life for himself, and he was trying to make a clean go of things now that he was human. After all, he was Buffy’s husband now, and he was the father of her children. Things were a lot different than they used to be.

“Don’t try to find us, mate,” Spike warned. “You won’t like what you do find if you try.” He turned to Buffy. “You ready, luv?” Buffy nodded.

“Yeah. I don’t have anything to say. I just wanna go.” She cast one last glance at the man she had once thought she loved, and now here he was, standing before her a coward and a kidnapper. For so long, she’d denied her feelings for Spike, and she’d clung to Riley and the memory of their relationship. But now, she knew that the love she shared with Spike was so much more. It wasn’t just passion. It was a force neither of them could comprehend. It drew them in, like moths, to the fire.

Buffy climbed in the back seat, sitting in between the two infant seats. Bex and Bella slept peacefully, as Spike got behind the wheel. Up ahead, Xander, Willow, and Dawn piled into another car, and they all took off, leaving Riley in the dust, hoping they’d never have to encounter him again.

***

One Year Later

“Dada!” Bex laughed, as he ran after Spike in the back yard of their little, quiet house in the lazy outskirts of Dayton. It was the perfect house. Brick on the outside with a large back porch and even larger, fenced in back yard. A sandbox and swing set were all set up, ready for Bex and Bella.

On the inside, it was a normal little house, and visitors out of the know would never expect the house belonged to a couple of demon slayers. Still, hidden in chests and behind bookshelves were dozens of weapons, ready to be retrieved at a moment’s notice.

Upstairs, the master bedroom connected to the nursery, which the twins shared, and would continue to share for a couple more years. Across the hall was Dawn’s room, though she was back in Italy finishing up school with Andrew. But they wanted her to always have a place she could call home.

The guest room was rarely used, but occasionally, Willow or Faith would stop in. Faith, more than usual, now that she and Robin were officially over. Buffy never knew why Faith and Robin really didn’t work out, but she did notice the way Faith tensed up whenever she was around the twins. She knew better than to ask her fellow Slayer for the details, and Faith seemed grateful that she didn’t have to talk about it.

Right now, it was one of those lazy summer days, where there wasn’t much to do, and all Spike and Buffy had to do was play out in the back yard with their little ones. They had come a long way, Spike and Buffy. A few years ago, they’d had one of the most unhealthy relationships imaginable. Now, they spent their days changing diapers and wiping runny noses, and their nights singing lullabies, reading bedtime stories, and then one would go out to patrol while the other stayed at home to look after the family.

Buffy hadn’t heard anything more from Riley Finn or the Initiative, so it seemed that all was well and good with Willow’s spell.

Buffy smiled, as she sat on the back porch with Bella and watched Spike and Bex run around in the grass. Spike wore nothing but swimming trunks, while Bex wore a very heavy diaper, soaked from the sprinkler he’d been running through.

“Careful,” Buffy warned, as Bex stumbled and nearly fell. Spike swooped him up into his arms, flying him around like a little airplane.

The kids were starting to grow into their own personalities. Bex was definitely like his father. He liked to do things his way. He was daring. And, he had his father’s sparkling blue eyes. His hair was curly and dark blonde, while Bella, with the same blue eyes, had much fairer hair, and it was slightly less curly. If it wasn’t for her eyes, she would be the spitting image of her mother.

Bella began to fuss, as she rubbed her eyes, and Buffy stood up.

“It’s time for a nap.”

“No! Nap…no!” Bex whined.

“Yes, nap,” Buffy laughed, as she pulled him into her arms, holding a baby on each hip. “Daddy and Mommy need some rest. You two are a handful.” Buffy was certain they’d gotten her energy. They didn’t tire easily, so many warm days were spent out and about like this, trying to get the children tired enough to sleep.

Spike had disappeared somewhere in the house before Buffy had the chance to head in. She looked around, wondering where he was, but she shrugged off the thought, took the kids upstairs, changed them out of their wet clothes and diapers, and put them down for a nap. After the half hour ordeal, they finally settled down enough to close their eyes, and Buffy closed the door, stepping out into the hall, where startled her and pulled her in close.

“Spike!”

“Shh. Don’t wake the twins,” he said with a sexy little smile that told her that she wasn’t about to get any rest right now.

“It’s nap time,” she murmured, placing her hand against his chest, feeling his heart beating strongly against her fingertips. God, she never got tired of that.

“Nap time, eh?” he asked. “We could sleep, if you want.” He pressed her against the wall, kissing her neck before moving upward to nibble on her earlobe. Oh, she loved it when he did that. He knew it.

“Mmm,” she murmured, closing her eyes, biting her lip, praying they wouldn’t be too loud and wake the kids. “Bedroom…” He pulled back, smiling that smile that turned her knees to butter, and he raised an eyebrow. Taking her hand, he pulled her into their room and shut the door.

Despite the violence, the danger, and the evil surrounding them on a day to day basis, they always had time to settle down and take a few minutes to be together. They had a lot that lay ahead of them. They had a lifetime of close calls and moments that would threaten to break them, that might downright come close to shattering everything they’d build, but they had changed. They were more than they used to be. They had each other, and for once, they both knew that that was exactly what they needed.

***************
Thank you all for the feedback and the support! I'm not sure if I'll be writing a sequel or not. I'm not sure if I'll write another BtVS fic for that matter. But I had a lot of fun with this one!