The look the stranger was giving her from across the bar was electrifying, her whole body shivered in response but she managed to stay still, fighting the urge to throw herself on top of this man she could barely even see through the smoky club. His energy was an addictive poison and she couldn’t wrap her mind around the pull she felt to go to him. It was almost as if he had her in a trance of sorts.

Her breath hitched as he began a languid walk through the crowded floor, his white wife beater clinging tightly to the muscles that refused to hide beneath it, his black jeans riding dangerously low. She licked her lips in anticipation, her eyes flicking the almost neon platinum hair that was slicked back with obvious care. His eyes were hooded so that she couldn’t see the color, instead turning her eyes to focus on the full lips that sported that deadly smirk.

He didn’t say a word as his journey came to an end and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close so that he could lick the length of her neck, growling when she moaned. “You smell like honey”

Buffy fought off the apparent laryngitis she’d been suffering from and choked out, “I bet you say that to all the girls whose neck you lick.” her voice sounding as if it hadn’t been used in weeks; coarse and raspy.

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t” he whispered in her ear, a hand dropping from her waist to her ass, giving it a rough squeeze.

Buffy closed her eyes at the sensation, she had never once been this brazen with a man in her entire life, didn’t want to be in fact. But then again she’d never gone to a club alone, let alone a dark ‘punky’ club, so why had she tonight? She wanted the normal path, but it couldn’t hurt to stray for just one night could it?

Almost as if reading her mind the man pulled away and looked her in the eyes, and in that instant she drowned.

“I’m not looking for love princess” he said huskily, twirling a strand of her hair around his fingers, “And I don’t fancy the idea of white picket fences”

She bit her lip and nodded as she silently followed him through the people and through the back door into the laneway where he led her to an obviously older black car but in mint condition.

He didn’t unlock the door for her first, didn’t turn to look at her when he started the car and drove away from the club but he did manage to slip his hand under her skirt to pinch her clit through her panties. To her chagrin she couldn’t help the deep and guttural shake that went through her and the smile on his lips infuriated her but God help her, she wanted this man for tonight.

She didn’t even realize that he’d pulled into the driveway of a beautiful three story house, barely acknowledged when he opened her door and pulled her out, with surprising gentility, the only thing she was truly aware of was the pounding of her heart, the ache between her legs and the smug promise in the eyes of the stranger that said “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you tonight”.


The second after the door was closed he’d lifted her skirt up to her hips and lifted her so that she had to wrap her legs around him while he carried her up the stairs as if she weighed nothing, his steps slow as he sucked on the skin of her neck and ascended the stairs.

Buffy was writhing against his obvious erection by the time they made it to the second door on the left, his room she noted, opening her eyes and seeing the large bed with the black satin sheets.

He placed her on the bed and prowled up her body, “Spike”

“Buffy” she panted out and pulled his shirt over his head, running her hands almost frantically over the now exposed and perfect skin.

He moaned into her hair when she bit down harder than intended and drew some blood on the skin of his neck, his hips bucking into her.

“I’m so sorry” she whispered, mortified only to be silenced when he crushed his mouth to hers, licking the small amount of coppery liquid from her swollen mouth.

“Don’t be”

She was shocked still by the display and obediently spread her legs for his prying hands while he knelt between them, eying her red thong appreciatively before dipping his head down and licking her through it.

“Fuck” she practically yelled and he smiled to himself, positioning his hands under her ass to dig his fingers into her as he sucked her clit through the material, finding that he loved the way she tasted.

“Pull them down” he ordered and she obeyed, eyes never leaving his when he snaked his tongue as deep as he could into her dripping pussy.

“I don’t usually do this” she blurted out, reasons unknown even to her, it didn’t make sense for her to care if a stranger thought her a whore or not.

He raised and eyebrow and continued his oral exploration of the one part of herself she hadn’t let a man touch in years.

Her fingers wove into his hair, digging into his scalp while he hissed in pleasure pain.

“I mean it” she said forcefully trying to get a reaction from him, any reaction except the one she got.

“I don’t fucken’ care” he growled into her pussy, the vibrations causing her to thrust into his face, closing her eyes against the threatening sting of tears. ‘It’s just a one night stand Buffy, it doesn’t matter what he thinks of you’ she kept trying to tell herself.

He withdrew a hand from underneath her, slipping a finger into her along with his tongue and when she was well enough adjusted he replaced his tongue with another finger, moving his mouth to suck almost violently on her clit.

It didn’t take long for her to cum and he lapped proudly at the prize now coating his lips and fingers, after what seemed like an eternity he crawled back up her limp body.

She smiled softly at him, “That was…”

“Get out” he said with cold sincerity.

“Wh…what? Why?”

“Because this is where I live and I don’t want you here.”

He noticed a look he hadn’t seen yet cross her face, “Well, that might be a problem”

“And why’s that sunshine?”

“Because you’re on top of me retard.” She said, her voice as cold as his had been.

He laughed at that and Buffy would have thought the sound endearing if it hadn’t been at her expense. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched her get dressed; he noted that she was either not afraid of her nakedness or too pissed to realize she was being ogled.

When she was done she turned to him, “Mind if I ask you why one more time, in the hopes of getting a real answer this time?”

He smiled and lit a smoke, “Because I know you and your type princess”, he stood up and walked close to her, so that they were only a foot away, “You go to places like the one you visited tonight, thinking to your pretty blond self, ‘I wanna’ walk on the dark side’, and you use decent people who you don’t consider decent to fulfill you’re sick fucken’ need to be wild at other people’s expense.”

“So why bring me here? Why do…that thing you did?”

“Eat you, you mean?” he asked and laughed out loud, “I wanted to know what self righteous bitch tasted like…sweeter then I thought.”

He walked past her and into the bathroom, when he emerged she was gone. He walked back to the edge of his bed; put his head in his hands and for the first time in years he cried.

The incessant ringing of his doorbell not ten minutes later had him angrily throwing open the front door, “WHAT?”

“I’m sorry.”

Her quiet apology shut him up.

“I’m sorry because everything you said is true, I came to the bar alone for a night of friend free judgment. I wanted to fuck you and walk away the next morning unchanged. I wanted to use you.”

“And you’re still here because?”

“Because you deserved an apology, I just wanted you to know that.”

“Well now I do and my hearts all-a-flutter. Run along home now.”

“Right…well” she leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “Thank you for a wonderful night.”

He watched in shock as she strolled away, out of sight before he shook it off and ran after her, forgetting his still shirtless form.

“Are you trying to get yourself fucken’ killed?” he asked when he caught up and grabbed her arm.

“Noooo, I’m trying to get home.” She explained with amusement, “That’s where all self righteous bitches should be at this time.”

“You’re walking? Why not call a cab or a friend?”

“I don’t want to wake anyone up and I don’t know the number for a taxi service.”

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, “Crash at my place until the morning at least.”

She frowned, “I don’t think so, plus you’re more likely to get raped running around half naked then I am.” She joked and he couldn’t help the small smile that flitted across his face before disappearing.

“Please?” he asked, this time with more charm.

“I don’t stay where I’m not wanted.” She argued before finding herself pressed against a car with his mouth fused to hers.

Buffy leaned into the kiss, hating the addictive taste of the whiskey and smoke on his tongue but succumbing to it none the less.

He pulled away for air before she did, “Come on”

She followed him back to the house and closed the door behind her, hovering in front of it.

“Where are you sleeping?” he grunted out and she shrugged helplessly.

“I don’t know, this is your place, not mine” she pointed out, a touch of sarcasm in her voice.

He strode back to her, “My room, or the couch.”

“I think I’ve had enough humiliation in your room for a lifetime” she shot back.

He leered at her, “That’s the price you pay.”

She looked at him, anger in her eyes, “You know…I think I’ve already done my part for the apologizing, maybe it’s time you manned it up and gave it a go yourself.”

He sucked in a breath and glared at her, “What the fuck do I have to say I’m sorry for?”

She threw her purse on the couch and plopped down onto it, knowing by his look he disliked her ‘make myself comfortable’ attitude.

“I apologized because I was going to use you…” she leaned over to look at a bill on the coffee table and smiled, “William.”

He growled at the use of his given name but she continued on, “But you haven’t.”

“For what?” he barked out, beginning to pace.

“For actually using me”

He stopped dead in his tracks, his anger seeming to dissipate a bit.

“The way I see it is that technically, I never hurt you or embarrassed you, I’m just a stranger you fucked with for your own sick twisted pleasure. You proved one of two points tonight William, the first being that yes, I can be selfish. Congratulations on figuring out the human race by the way, and the second, and this may be the most important point, is that you are nothing but a piece of shit.”

There was a moment of utter silence before he grinned. “My room then?”

She wanted to punch him in the face, wanted to claw the smile from his mouth but she followed him up the stairs and into the bedroom again and was surprised by his next actions.

He walked to his dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers and a wife beater, tossing them to her before walking to the door.

“I’m sorry” he said before closing it behind him softly, shaking his head and smiling a little bit before heading downstairs to the couch to sleep.


Buffy bit her lip and smiled, both an asshole and a gentleman of sorts, he was an interesting mix. Interesting, but not her type.




She woke up when she heard banging on the door and rolled over to look at the clock, it was already one in the afternoon. She hurriedly jumped out of bed and threw her clothes on, cursing her cell phone for not waking her up at seven, that’s when she realized that she couldn’t see the small phone anywhere.

She crossed the hall into the bathroom and quickly finger brushed her teeth before rinsing and heading down the stairs. The smell of coffee and food assaulted her senses and she peeked into the kitchen.

A sleep tussled Spike greeted her with a wide smile, “Hey sorry to wake you, but breakfast was almost done and…”

“I don’t do breakfast.” she said and almost felt bad, eying the table full of pancakes and freshly cut fruits, orange juice and coffee. Almost.

And then when his face dropped she sighed and shot her purse to the floor unceremoniously, and pulled out a chair.

“Looks good” she said grudgingly and took a bite of a strawberry. “Sweeter than I thought.”

He ran a hand through his hair and sat next to her, still topless. “I said I was sorry.”

“So did I.”

“So where does that leave us?”

“There is no us, and no need for you to try and appear gallant.”

“I’m not trying to be gallant dammit, I’m trying to be civil.”

“I think that only works if you haven’t stuck your head between the girl in questions legs already.”

“Jesus fuck you’re a cunt” he yelled out and stormed to the garbage can, throwing out the food on his plate only to sit back across from her a moment later.

Without a word she cut her pancakes in half and shoved them onto his plate and they began to eat in silence before she remembered her phone.

“Hey, have you seen my phone by chance?” she asked in between a bite of toast and a sip of her coffee.

“Ya, got it right here” he answered and pulled it out of his pocket, sliding it over. At her raised eyebrow he added, “It went off for like an hour at seven, I turned it off when you didn’t wake up. Forgot to leave it on the end table.”

She chose to smile at his whispered “fucken’ girl can sleep through an apocalypse’ instead of answering.

When she was done eating she asked him to call her a cab while she went to the sink and rinsed their dishes.

When she was done he walked her to the front door, “Thanks for breakfast.”

“Thanks for sharing” he answered with a small smile.

“Well William” she said, holding her hand out for him to shake, which he did, “I hope I never see you again.”

His smile never reached his eyes as he answered “Likewise”

She looked outside and sighed, “This would have been so much more dramatic if the taxi was already here”

He lowered his head and looked at her through hooded eyes, “I didn’t call one” he admitted before pressing her into the door and capturing her lips in a searing kiss, she couldn’t help but respond and was barely aware of her nails digging into the skin of his waist of their own accord, pulling him in closer as his tongue delved deeper.

“I don’t like you” Buffy gasped out when they broke apart for air.

“You want me” he moaned when her hands found his ass and pulled him against her roughly.

“God yes” she managed between kisses, clinging to his shoulders when he lifted her by the waist, her legs wrapping around him, before pinning her to the wall.

The feel of his cock inside her made her want to claim him as hers right then and there, as he thrust into her against his door. His hips were rough, each thrust intended to make her bang against the door behind her, each one reverberating through her body but his hands had an almost gentleness to them. The mixture had her crying out in pleasure every few seconds.

When her hand came up to scratch along his back he let out a growl and bit down on her already swollen bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth and grunting into it. He was an animal through and through.

“So fucken’ tight” he managed to gasp out, letting go of her mouth only for hers to clamp down on his neck.

“Could fuck you forever” he added when her legs tightened around him.

“You don’t have forever” she pointed out, eyes closed in the bliss his body offered her.

“And I don’t want it” he responded, almost defensively before deciding he’d had enough talking, angling his hips a bit differently, allowing her clit to rub against him as he entered her.

He smirked into her shoulder when he felt her muscles tighten and she screamed his name before he let himself cum immediately after.

Instead of moving away from her though he pressed her harder into the door, his lips finding hers as he kissed her like he needed to to breathe.

When she pulled away gasping he leaned his damp forehead against hers, “You’re poison” he moaned and without a trace of humor and some sadness in both their eyes she answered, “You’re toxic.”



That had been 3 weeks ago Buffy realized with a frown, after their sexcapade he had called the taxi for her and she had left without a second look. She knew his address though and found herself more than once itching to just randomly show up and say fuck it to the possible consequences. A week later she had met Riley, a seemingly nice, boring as shit idiot she had agreed to go Bronzing with tonight because Xander thought he was one of the nice ones.

The doorbell rang and she walked down the stairs slowly, “Hey Wills, ready?”

Willow nodded her head excitedly, “Yup, Oz is playing tonight….hey, did you change your hair?”

Buffy absentmindedly played with the red streaks she’d had her hair dresser, Lorne, but underneath so that they barely showed. “Ya.”
Willow smiled, “Suits you, and I like the dark eye make-up too.”

She smiled at her red headed friend, maybe she was a little less judgmental then Buffy had thought.

When they got to the Bronze Riley and Xander were already there with Xanders new girlfriend Anya and had a booth with pitchers already waiting.

“Hey Buffster, what the hell did you do to your hair? You look like a street punk”

Willow glared as did Buffy, it was Anya who opened her mouth, “Xander Lavelle Harris, you live in your drunken parents basement, wear thirty year old bowling shirts and work at a pizzeria, don’t judge people. Hi Buffy, I’m Anya, Xander is mine to have sex with.”

Buffy shook the girls hand and smiled, Xander had gone from his usual pasty self to pink, and then to red after having been put in his place.

“Nice to finally meet you, it’s nice to see Xan with someone with a brain.”

“And a fantastic body” the other blond added, not ashamedly.

Buffy nodded, “And a fantastic body” before adding an overly platonic and monotoned “Hi Riley”

He glanced at her hair and her black leather pants with disdain, “Hi”

Buffy rolled her eyes and sat next to him, helping herself to a large glass of the sweet tasting drink on the table, ‘sex on the beach’ I think she thought to herself. She, Willow and Anya were swapping horror stories twenty minutes later once the guys had left to play pool.

“So then Olaf...”

Buffy snickered, “You dated a guy named Olaf?”

Anya nodded, “Anyway, so then he shoves a fucken’ bunny in my face and says “Happy Easter”.” She humphed, “Happy indeed, I told him his penis was small and to take the rabbit and hop along.”

Buffy and Willow were dying, this girl was too much when Willow said something Buffy never would have thought she’d hear coming from her friends mouth, the same friend she thought believed Xander walked across water.

“What are you doing with Xander Anya?”

The girl shrugged her shoulders, “He’s sweet most of the time and gives me orgasms, I can’t ask for much more.”

“How about someone less judgmental?” Willow asked softly and Buffy couldn’t help but feel remorse, turns out she was more than wrong when it had come to her friend.

“I suppose, but there’s a lot of good in Xander, his prejudices may stop him from acting like it sometimes but I think with the help of many fulfilled sexual fantasies he’ll come around to a more open way of thinking.”

“I’ll drink to that” Buffy said raising her glass, breaking the intensity of the moment.

She had misjudged Willow, thinking the girl would judge her if she fell out of step with the perfect example she always tried to make, the realization that she was the more judgmental of the two a hard slap to her inner face.

When Anya suggested they all got up to dance once Oz’s band began to play not one of them disagreed and they found themselves laughing like old friends once they began to ‘shake it so that the men would see how pliable they were’, Anya’s words of course.

When a set of strong hands landed on her hips the second song in she turned to give whoever it was a piece of her mind, instead she found herself forcing a smile back.

“Oh, it’s you.”

“Happy to see me?” Spike purred, tugging gently on a newly red chunk of hair.

“So much so that words escape me” she replied sarcastically and spun around but didn’t make him let her go.

When the smooth sound of his voice spoke next to her ear she couldn’t help but shiver, “I can’t stop thinking about you”

She smiled, secure in the knowledge that he couldn’t see her, “I thought I was poison, shouldn’t you stay away?”

He chuckled and she leaned into the firmness of his chest as they swayed together, “Sweetheart, if I stayed away from everything I should, my life would be boring as piss.”

She closed her eyes when his tongue darted out to lick her neck and when she opened them she saw Willow trying unsuccessfully to hide a smile but once busted she mouthed “oh my god, HOT” to her friend. Buffy giggled at her and again when Spike, who had obviously seen the interaction between the two girls, whispered, “I like Red, seems like a smart girl”

“Genius actually” Buffy answered and turned so that she could see him while they danced.

“One of the friends you want a judgment free night of?”

She smiled before answering, “I thought so, but I thought wrong…I think I was more judgmental of myself than any of my friends ever were. I had high expectations of myself and blamed them for it.”

“And now?”

“And now I feel like a bad friend” she admitted, shocked they were talking about something so…non-sexual to be frank.

“Well, you’ve gotten through the denial of it and you’re already into the amends, so I think you’ll do just fine”

She smiled and looked into his eyes, she knew he was smiling by the small wrinkles around them and couldn’t help but return it.

“I thought about you too”

He ran his tongue over his canine, “I know”

He had been about to lean in for a kiss, that much was certain, but in the next instant he was torn away from her, a red faced Riley staring at her.

“What the fuck Buffy? You dance like that with someone else when you’re on a date with me?”

“What the fuck is your problem Riley? I can dance with whoever the fuck I want to, you don’t own me and you certainly can’t treat my friends the way you just did so go fuck yourself.”

Xander had come up and had seen the scene, with wide eyes he looked from Buffy to Spike to Riley and then back to Buffy again.

“He’s your friend?” he asked, and Buffy squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the onslaught of insults that would come.

“Yes, he is” she answered with pride.

And to everyone’s shock, Xander looked at Riley and told him to leave.

Riley was seething with anger at this point and seeing red; before anyone saw it coming he had backhanded Buffy so hard her nose had slowly begun to drip blood.
Before Riley’s hand even had the chance to return to his side Spike was on top of him, pounding his face into the floor.

Xander waited until he heard the bone of Riley’s wrist snap before pulling him off of Riley. “Come on buddy, I think he’s out”

Spike didn’t hear a word, all he heard was the sound of that monsters hand hitting the flesh of a woman over and over again. It was only when Xander pulled him outside into the alley that he lit a smoke and calmed down a bit.

“Thank you for doing that, I’m not strong enough” Xander admitted with a small smile, worried about Buffy but knowing she had Anya and Willow to help her and knowing that the best thing he could do for his blond friend was to stop her friend from killing the son of a bitch who had hit her. He’d seen the bouncers on their way over so he knew it was safe to take the other man outside.

Spike took a deep drag of his cigarette, “M’ gonna’ fucken’ kill that wanker”

“I think you came close enough” Xander only half joked.

“Aren’t you friends with that guy?”

He shook his head, “Not anymore, no. I’ve known him for a couple of years, thought he was a good enough guy for Buffy. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for setting them up.”

Spike sighed and patted the troubled man on the shoulder, “Not your fault whelp.”

He gave Spike a small nod, “So a friend of Buffy’s?”

“You could say that” he said, exhaling slowly.

“How’d you meet?”

“None of your business.”

“I can respect that…you know, three months ago I would have given her shit for even talking to someone like you.”

Spike raised an eyebrow but let the brunette continue.

“Then I met Anya and she turned my world upside down. I used to be one of those pricks who let someone’s looks dictate what I thought of them, then tonight, what you did to help my best friend, well that just reinforced how stupid I’ve been. I’m Xander”, he stuck out his hand, “And any friend of Buffy’s is a friend of mine.”

Spike smirked and shook it, “Spike”

After that he told Xander he best be off, some bullshit like he had to be up early but to tell Buffy goodnight had him rolling his eyes but he wasn’t about to say anything to the man who had just beat the shit out of someone twice his size.


He found the girls waiting by his car, joking as if none of what had happened tonight was monumental and he smiled, almost sure that it was his girl who had made them all so happy for the moment. Buffy had tears running down her face from laughing so hard and Xander decided not to comment on the dark bruise covering the left side of her face.

As they all pilled into the car and buckled up, without turning to look at her, he said “I like your friend” and dropped it at that.

Buffy smiled to herself and lost herself in thoughts on the drive back home.



Hours later, after a shower and crawling into her bed she found herself unable to sleep, maybe it was all the adrenaline still coursing through her body or maybe it was just her profound loneliness but thirty seven minutes later she found herself pulling in front of the house she’d only been to once.

She must have stayed in the car for at least a half an hour when she was startled out of her thoughts by being pulled out of her car and pushed up against it, all in less then ten seconds.

Spike’s hands were cupping her face as he took in the marks marring it, “Poison” he whispered before finding her lips and pushing himself into her, wanting to be as close as possible.

How they got into the house she couldn’t tell you, one moment she was pressed against her car and the next she was being carried up the stairs and being placed gently on his bed.

His hands were everywhere, gentle and loving but his tongue was aggressive and demanding, she loved the feel of it all.

“You’re so beautiful” he moaned out as his denim clad erection brushed against her, making her writhe beneath his body.

“Want you so bad Buffy” he murmured, pulling away from her mouth to look her in the eyes.

“I want you too…but I want the white picket fence too, we can’t keep doing this if it’s not going anywhere.”

“Do we still get tonight?” he asked, his breathing ragged with the effort not to tell her deep down he wanted that goddamn fence too, not necessarily with her, he didn’t know her but fuck he wanted to. As it was she believed the cause of it was his reaction to their bodies being so close.

“Yes” she breathed out, “We get tonight.”

“And the morning?”

“That too” she added with a smile she tried her best to not seem sad, but he saw it, not on her lips but in her eyes.

“Then tonight is the best night of my life” he whispered and kissed her again.

She shivered at the sentiment behind his words, she could tell he was as lonely as she was, probably more so. Tonight would be the end of them she promised herself, she was only here for the comfort anyway, she was still shaken up over the Riley getting smack happy on her and she just needed to feel.

So why was her brain screaming at her that she was a liar?
You got over the Riley thing the moment Spike jumped in.
If it was just about comfort why didn’t you ring the bell, why’d you wait for him to see you?
Why are you so scared?

“Mine too” she answered before pushing him off her so that she could take the dominate position, sliding his pants down his legs while he flung off his shirt.

“God you’re hot” she murmured and ran her nails along his stomach and chest, loving the way he arched into her touch, needing it like she needed his. Their words could lie as much as their mouths allowed, but their bodies betrayed the unspoken thought, ‘one night isn’t enough time’.

He inhaled sharply when her tongue circled one of his nipples before biting down just south of gently and he loved it.

He put a hand in her hair, tugging on it gently, loving the deep red that shone through the golden strands, “Did you do this for me?” he breathed out.

“Yes” she admitted, unashamed, if it was only for tonight then why not let the truth peek its head out for a bit.

“How’d you know you’d see me again?”

“I didn’t”

“Fuck Buffy, kiss me”

She acquiesced happily, the man had the tongue of a sinner and she was no saint, no matter how hard she tried to be.

“I love the way you taste” she moaned, his hands were tugging down on her pants, sliding them down low enough so that she could pull them off the rest of the way without getting off him, which she did, “Like whiskey and cigarettes.”

He splayed his hands over her ass and pressed her into him, the feel of her panties rubbing against his cock intoxicating, the dampness a testament to what he did to her.

“Already wet for me baby” he purred out.

“Since you pulled me out of the car” she admitted with a giggled before sitting up so that she could slowly sink down onto him, reveling in the feeling of completion she got when they did this.

When she tried to ride him roughly his hands clamped down on her hips, slowing her motions until the pace was lazy, languid.

She only had the one other time to compare it to but this was worlds away from the fuck she’d received against his door. This was more intimate, and it saddened her to know she wouldn’t feel it again, that he didn’t want a relationship. Hell, she was even sad that she wanted one if it meant giving this up. She wanted to know what his favorite color was, black she assumed, and what music he like, Sex pistols her memory recalled, and what he liked on his pancakes, strawberry syrup she remembered and with a shock realized she knew more about him then Parker, a man she’d dated for three months a while back.

His hands left her hips when he was certain she understood he didn’t want fast and angry tonight and traveled to the breasts he thought were perfection, leaning up almost as if doing a sit up he caught her nipple in his mouth and sucked it into his mouth hungrily as her hands came to grip the back of his neck.

He buried his head in her chest and pulled her as close as he could, hugging her to him tightly and Buffy fought the urge to cry. His actions were desperate, a silent cry to not have to be alone with whatever demons haunted him and she hugged him back while she rocked against him slowly.

“Spike” she moaned when she felt her muscles begin to tighten and he released his arms so that his hands could cup her face softly, so as not to hurt the already bruised skin there, “Buffy” he answered in a moan and kissed her while she came around him, bringing him with her as she cried out her release into his mouth.

When she moved away from him and curled up under the sheets he followed suite, pulling her into his chest so that they were face to face, almost no space between them.

“What am I gonna’ do with you Buffy?” he asked sadly.
A moment passed before she spoke, “So far so good.”
“You know what I meant.”
“Ya, I know what you meant…I guess we just take what we have while we have it.”
“And when it’s gone?” he asked, a hand coming to play with her hair while her fingers traced small patterns on his chest.
“Then it’s gone and we have good memories?” She knew she hadn’t made it sound like a question but it was, it was her way of asking him to re-evaluate what he wanted.
“Memories are good” he said slowly in lieu of ‘we can make more’ like he so badly wanted to.

So instead of saying what they felt they opted for softly muttered ‘goodnights’ as they let sleep claim them while in each others arms.

She didn’t wake him up when she left, and he pretended to be asleep, both too afraid of their own failings to say what they wanted to. And so Buffy pretended the sharp sting behind her eyes as she walked home was from the morning glare and Spike pretended the side of the bed she had occupied was still warm because he must have rolled over while sleeping.

He’d watched her through carefully hooded lids, the rise and fall of her chest as she’d dressed tortuously slow so as not to make a sound, the way she’d stared at him while pulling her hair back into a loose ponytail. It had been the hardest to pretend when she had turned back into the room, as if to wake him, or leave a note, but had forced herself silently away. And he had let her.

There was no doubt in his mind that she knew he had wakened with her, but there was a sort of familiarity and stability in the game they had played. No rejection, no awkward goodbyes and perhaps most importantly no getting themselves into something he was certain neither one was prepared for.

Buffy wanted that fence, the one that symbolized a happy home and a stability he wasn’t certain he could give. What he wanted was passion; dark and dangerous and all consuming, he wanted to love until his soul felt the sting of it and then he wanted to burn up in its wake and he didn’t know if she was ready for that, fuck, maybe he wasn’t even ready for it. He didn’t give out his heart cheaply; his body and his affections were a different story though. He’d been with countless girls, brought them all over the edge and back again, heard his name screamed so loudly that he had a ringing in his ears but he had never once allowed himself to love any of them. Some for shallow reasons; too fat, too tall, they laughed like a hyena. Others that he could have loved, given the proper time had major character flaws; some were racist, others tried to push religion onto him and so on. Through it all though, he never told one of them his real name, but SHE knew it. The first bird to have ever been smart enough to check a bill he’d left on the table, why did she have to be so fucken’ pure? He knew for a fact she wasn’t, had witnessed it while she came around him but she represented purity in the very least. Her tan skin represented the sun, her hazel eyes represented the land, and her golden hair shone like crops of sun kissed wheat. He had fucked Mother Nature, and the joke was on him. He was darkness, venturing out in the pale light of moon, donning black clothing on his sun starved skin, and if he had to compare his hair to crops, well, it had withered. His eyes though, were blue like the ocean his mother used to tell him, and that one day someone would drown in him. It had always left him a little uneasy, it was one thing to love someone so thoroughly that to be away from them would be to suffocate but it was something else entirely to be someone else’s air. It was a double edged sword really, he could feel his passion and his love bubbling beneath the surface waiting to be set free but he didn’t want it in return. He could handle the ‘responsibilities’ of being in love, but not of being loved back.

He sighed and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling, one hand behind his head, the other splayed across the now empty side. “I’m fucked” he whispered to the walls that he trusted not to tell his secrets.


The morning light was torture to Buffy’s slightly puffy eyes, from her lack of sleep and the hit she’d taken the night before. She forced her feet to keep walking when all the while her mind was screaming “go back”. Her feet won the war and trudged onward, back to her empty house, waiting to taunt her with the echoes of the memories she would keep replaying in her head.

He was different, she knew enough about herself to know she wouldn’t be attracted to just an ordinary guy. He was special, but she wouldn’t be able to figure out in how many ways now. The thought angered her. She was still young, couldn’t she just let herself have the fun being with him with no strings offered until it wore her down and she had to move on? The question answered itself. No. She wouldn’t let herself be hurt like that, she went to twirl the Celtic ring she always wore and noticed with dismay it was missing, she would have headed back to Spike’s house but the chances that it was there and not at the Bronze, or in an alley somewhere lost were slim. She would cut her losses and live without it.

She wished he didn’t have such expressive eyes, they told her things she didn’t want to know. How insecure he was, how turned on he was if they darkened, how they sparkled with mirth when he was having fun. If all she could ever do was look into his eyes she was certain she would still come to know him. In creating Spike, it was as if a higher power had taken everything sinfully delicious, thrown it into a pot and poured it into a mold meant only to tantalize. It wasn’t fair to the man she knew must be hiding behind that exterior, then again maybe she was just over analyzing, it wasn’t as if she hadn’t been wrong before.

Angel.
Parker.

Those two were a testament to just how wrong she could be, oh yeah, and Andrew. They hadn’t done anything but date a few times platonically, a show to get people off their backs for awhile, before he came out and told her he was gay. On a side note he was also very creative and had based one of his characters on her, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She smiled, she’d have to call him soon, find out how his comic was doing, if she remembered correctly he was just about to finish up ‘season one’ of it. Why he was so enamored with her she could only guess, most likely due to the fact that he didn’t have many friends. He was quiet and shy, worried about too many things and, well, a dork. But she had always seen the good in him, knew that one day his comic would pick up and go places. Not because it was essentially about her life, though he based several characters on the people she’d met and been close to throughout the years but because he was genuinely talented, the boy could spin a tale better than anyone else she knew. She idly wondered if one day Buffy, comic book Buffy, would find the one and then she laughed at herself, wanting to live vicariously through a character that only lived vicariously through her was an oddity in itself.

She pulled her keys out of her bag and sighed, “Home sweet empty home”.

Forty five minutes away Spike pulled a silver link chain out of his nightstand and slid the Celtic ring onto it before securing it around his neck and laying back down, falling asleep soon after, with his newfound treasure gripped tightly in his hand.

Buffy sat down on her couch and rubbed her tired eyes, how on earth had she forgotten her fucken’ car? A ring she could do without, it had cost her twenty dollars at a kiosk on the beach, a car was another story altogether.

‘Do I go back now or later?’ she asked herself and mentally calculated the odds of running into him. ‘He could be awake now, going out for a jog or something, later tonight he’ll probably be out at a club or something’ she reasoned to herself and dragged herself up the stairs to the warm shower she’d been wanting since she’d opened her eyes this morning.

She was almost sad that while she stood under the relaxing spray all traces of her tryst last night was being washed away, down the not so proverbial drain. She leaned her head against the tiled wall and sighed, it didn’t seem fair. Why would she be so attracted to him if the ‘world’ deemed they ‘couldn’t’ be together? She shut off the part of her brain telling her it wasn’t the world, but them, and they could be together if they compromised.

“I don’t even know him” she muttered angrily to the steamed room and with that she pushed him out of her mind, the part she was conscious of anyway.

Wrapped in a warm towel she padded into her bedroom and took a long look at her reflection, admitting to herself she really did like those streaks after all and deciding to add more to it, maybe black and white ones, today if Lorne had the time for it. With a snort she realized he, unknowingly, had brought out the rebel waiting inside her. Sure she was rebellious in her own right she told herself, always doing what she wanted…as long as it was what her friends wanted.

“Ok, so not a rebel” she told her reflection, “But special maybe”





Spike was sitting at his kitchen table enjoying the breakfast of strawberry pancakes he had made when it hit him, it was better when they were cut in half and off someone else’s plate. With a sigh and a sudden lack of appetite he threw the remainder in the garbage and started to wash his dishes.

And isn’t it funny how something so incredibly mundane can help us reflect on those moments in your life that you know could change you forever, no matter which way you go? Maybe it was the stability of doing something so predictable, you fill the sink, wash the dish, rinse the dish and stack the dish. Doing dishes was safe even if shutting himself off wasn’t. With a hiss he pulled his bloody hand out of the water, “Bugger”.

Okay, so maybe with a knife hidden in the sudsy depths doing dishes wasn’t the safest activity, but it was in theory, and that’s what he told himself counted as he went in search of a band-aid and found one in the mirrored medicine cabinet above the sink and couldn’t avoid having to look at himself, truly look at himself in the mirror.

“Ponce” he mumbled to his reflection as he ran his hand under the cold water, watching the blood mix with it and drain away. ‘S’always about the blood’ he reminded himself, another analogy from his childhood, this time from his father. He stared at the streaks of red swirling with the water and finally understood what Rupert had been talking about. Blood. It had to be about blood; it could stain you forever or heal you whole. It pumped through you along with all your passions and needs and wants. More could save you, bring you back from the brink of an all too lonely abyss and too little would leave you drained and dry, turning to dust in an all too judgmental sun. He thought about Buffy for a moment and smiled sadly, she was special, and of that he was certain.

He dried his hand and applied the band-aid to the cut before cleaning up the bathroom and heading to his bedroom to lay down, too tired to do much else at the moment. Closing his eyes and succumbing to sleep shortly afterwards the last thing he would remember thinking when he awoke was that love wasn’t brains; it was blood, screaming inside you to work its will.






Lorne studied the tired looking girl in front of him, “Bad night princess?”

She gave him a half hearted smile, “Fantastic night.”

He nodded knowingly, “Bad morning then.”

“The worst.”

“So, I was thinking we could add some darker streaks of red, throw in some black, and I don’t know how you’ll feel about this but maybe a chunk or two of white?”

She turned wide eyes on him, “How the fuck do you always do that? Know what I want?”

“I’m from another dimension sweets” he teased back and she giggled.

“So, does this morning have anything to do with a man?”

“Doesn’t it always?” she asked back with a sulk and laughed when he answered, “In my case yes”

“So you’re trying to change yourself for this guy?”

“No, no…I’m not even going to see him again actually, we called it quits last night, had one last hurrah, and here I am.”

“Hurrah?” he asked with an arched brow.

“Ok, I had several ‘hurrahs’ but it’s done, we want different things.”

“Mmmm hmmm.”

“What’s that mean?” she asked with a frown.

“Sounds to me like you both want the same thing.”

“I haven’t even told you about him, how can you say that?”

“Sorry pudding pop. Tell me about him then.”

“I don’t know that much, but I want the white picket fence and he doesn’t.”

“What about a cast iron gate instead of a suburban white wooden fence?”

“Metaphorically Lorne, not esthetically.”

“I know, I was speaking metaphorically. Do you really need someone whose going to fit into the neighborhood you want to live in with your 2.5 kids and your swimming pool, or do you want someone who fits into you instead…metaphorically” he added with a teasing smile which she returned.

“Wouldn’t even matter, he’s not ready for a relationship.”

“Maybe he’s ready for a friend then. I don’t understand people today, so ready and eager to label things that you take the joy out of finding out what it really is you’re labeling. For example, I could have just labeled this smashing green shirt as a green shirt before I put it on, but I chose to put it on and I labeled it my ‘Lorne goes for green and anything else you got’ shirt. I couldn’t label it until I understood what it meant to me to wear it. Catch my drift luscious?”

She nodded and he swatted her gently, “Don’t move, you’ll ruin my art”

“Sorry” she answered with a smile, “I ever tell you how smart you are Lorne?”

“For my prices, I have to be, I’m going to call this look the black haired white witch in a cornfield eating strawberries.”

“Okayyyyyy…”

“The black streaks, the white streaks, your natural color and the red streaks.”

“Okayyyyy” she teased back.

“Stop it you, or I’ll add an oompa loompa drinking tequila at noon, and you don’t want to know what that is” he joked back.






Spike stretched and walked barefoot onto his front balcony to light a smoke and contradictorily enjoy some fresh air when a wide smirk cross over his features, "Love isn't brains, its blood screaming inside you to work its will" he said aloud as he walked over to the jeep he recognized from the night before.

Buffy walked down the street, not denying the extra swagger in her low-cut faded blue-jean clad ass. The black corset top did wonders for her not too small but not too big breasts, pumping them up into the ‘just right’ zone of her idea of perfect. Her hair was giving her a confidence she hadn’t felt in years. No, hadn’t let herself feel was a more fair assessment after seeing how her friends had her back no matter what after all. Once she had slipped on her large aviator sunglasses she had barely recognized her reflection. All the bad-ass she’d ever wanted to be with a new haircut and a different ensemble, “Who’d have thought.” she muttered to the warm just-turned night air.

She finally caught sight of her jeep and took a deep breath. “You can do this Buffy…come on.”

She noticed the glow of a cigarette and smiled, an idea forming while she grabbed her keys out of her purse and jingled them to get Spike’s attention. “Go put some shoes on William; we’re going for a ride.”

She held her breath and waited for a nasty comment and couldn’t help the smile that blossomed across her face when he put on his shoes and ran down the steps, stopping less than a foot away.

“That for me?”

“Huh?” She toyed with her hair and was about to answer when he cut her off.

“Not the hair ducks, though words can’t describe what I want to do to you and your new look” he said giving her a languid once-over. “I was talking about the smile.”

“Yup, that’s all for you. And it’s free…unlike the hair.” she added as an afterthought.

“I’ll pay you back for the hair.” he purred.

She laughed lightly and quirked an eyebrow, “What makes you think I would take your money?”

“What makes you think I was talking about money?” he asked, the tip of his tongue coming out to run along the tip of his canine.

“Pig.”

“You love it.”

“Not yet.”

“You will.”

An uncomfortable moment passed, neither one willing to acknowledge that less than 24 hours ago they had said they wouldn’t see each other again and here they were talking about the future.

“We’ll see…are we done talking in two syllable sentences?”
“Maybe, perhaps, might be.”

She couldn’t help but laugh as she nodded her head towards the car, signaling that it was time to go but instead of getting in he wrapped his arms around her tightly.

“What’s your favorite color?” he whispered in her ear.

Without a second thought she answered “blue” and couldn’t help but smile at the knowing smile on his face.

She nodded to the car, “You gonna’ get in?”

“In a mo’. Think we can talk for a bit first?”

“Sure.”

They walked over to his balcony and sat down while he lit another smoke and looked at the dark sky.

“I’m sorry about the way we started off; I was a bad, rude man.”

“It’s okay, really it is. I was a selfish bitch.”

Spike took a deep breath before continuing, “That doesn’t mean I want the white picket fence or a relationship though, to tell you the truth, I don’t know what I want, except that I want you and I don’t know what that means for me right now.”

Buffy smiled at him softly, “Maybe it doesn’t have to mean anything, right this instant. Ok – I’m cookie dough”, she risked a glance at him and swatted him playfully, “and let me finish before you judge”, she waited for his nod – which did nothing to conceal his amusement – and continued, “I’m not done baking. I’m not done becoming whoever the hell it is I’m going to become. But, maybe, while I’m baking, I can get to know you, as a friend and more if that’s what comes of us, and if you’re still around when I’m done baking we can talk about…fences.”

“And if I’m around when you’re done baking, do I get to eat some cookies?”

Buffy laughed, “Raw cookie dough is still good, so you can have some whenever you like.”

“Minx. So, friends friends, or more than friends friends?”
“As much as I don’t wanna’ back-track in the sex department, because I can’t deny we’re good together and the things you do are mind-numbingly fantastic, I don’t want that to be all we’re about, you know?”

“I do, and I understand, but that won’t really deter me from wanting to touch you.”

“Well that works out fine cuz’ I don’t want to not touch you either. But maybe we can get to know each other a little better? See if we fit in each others worlds, find out why we were both at that club that night being assholes?”

Spike chuckled and stuck out his hand for her to shake. “My name’s William, but my friends call me Spike. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Buffy Summers, and likewise.”

“Would you like to get a cup of coffee with me tonight Miss Summers?”

Buffy bit her lip and smiled, “Sounds like a plan, I’m driving.”



2 hours later:

Buffy threw her head back and laughed, the people in the small coffee shop smiling to themselves over the obviously new couples interaction.

They had been talking for hours, about nothing of importance really, but he was quick witted and funny, still, his sharp tongue couldn’t hide that little bit of sweetness that came out quite frequently. She was pretty sure she wasn’t supposed to notice them but how could she not.

Sweetness 1: He paid for her extravagantly overpriced girly drink
Sweetness 2: He didn’t order a coffee; instead he got a hot chocolate and sulked because they didn’t have mini-marshmallows
Sweetness 3: He tilted his head whenever she said something he found interesting

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t the most impressive list she’d ever mentally built but this was their first real outing as human beings and not fuck-bunnies who were hating on each other, so all things considered this was going really well.

“What are you thinking about?” Spike asked, his voice cutting through her inner dialogue.

“Honestly? I’m surprised at how well this is going.”

“So am I if we’re being honest. I was half convinced that once we started talking we’d lose interest pretty quickly.”

Buffy nodded, “I know, and I don’t mean it badly it’s just that we’re so….” She struggled to find an appropriate word when Spike interjected.

“Different?”

“No, unlikely is more the word I’d use.”

He smirked and nodded in agreement. “I concur.”

A moment passed, one of those silent ones that seems to burn itself into your memory – a soft smile on both their faces as a flicker of understanding went through them both, they could probably be good together, given the chance to get past all the bullshit, it wasn’t a certainty, but that flicker was there none the less – and then like all moments, it passed and the conversation resumed.

Buffy looked at the clock and tossed uncomfortably. She had driven Spike home four hours ago, at 11, and still couldn’t find sleep.

She had had such a good time, had learned so much about him.

He had an ex named Druscilla who had really done a number on the inwardly soft man, turning his life upside down when she’d walked away. He had grown up in London, could be very well mannered when he chose to be and he could – and this was her favorite part – refine his accent when he wanted to, making the voice seem terribly out of place with his looks causing her to choke on her coffee when he’d told her that U.S affairs were “a terribly dreadful thing, terribly dreadful indeed”.

2 minutes had passed since she last looked at the clock, it wasn’t that she had to get up early that was bugging her about not being to sleep, she didn’t know what it was exactly.

Her phone rang twenty seconds later.

“Hello?”

“You have such a sexy voice” came the purring voice and she withheld a giggle.

“I could have been sleeping”

“Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn”, she laughed and he continued, “I couldn’t sleep, wanted to hear your voice.” he admitted softly.

She smiled into the phone, “That’s okay, I couldn’t sleep either.”

“I could come over, wear you out…” his tone suggestive.

“I thought we covered this earlier” she answered softly, but not without a teasing lilt.

“Get your head outta’ the gutter Summers, I was thinking more along the lines of a game of twenty questions.”

“Oh”, he could hear the embarrassment in her voice and chuckled, “Ask away”

Spike smiled, “Question the first: what are you wearing?”

Buffy laughed loudly, “Jogging pants and a Sunnydale High tee-shirt, aren’t you just going ‘oooh’?”

“Any lacy panties underneath.”

“No.”

“Ooooh”

She smiled, “What are you wearing?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh…”

“What’s the matter kitten; am I making you nervous?” he whispered seductively into the phone.

“No, and that counts as your second question” she shot back, giggling and Spike repressed a groan at the sound of it, feeling himself grow hard.

“What are you doing right this second?” she asked, loving the sound of his voice and growing bolder.

“Honestly, I’m thinking about how much I’d love to be there so I could run my hands all over you, where would you want me to start Buffy?”

“My neck” came her silken reply, “Are you hard for me William?”

“Fuck yes.” his voice sounded strained and a rush of womanly pride and confidence engulfed her.

“Touch yourself for me” he groaned out, the sound of her breathing alone had him fighting the urge to grab his dick.

“Where do you want me to start William? Do you want me to touch my breasts?”

Buffy couldn’t believe how brazen she was being; she’d never done anything like this before but had heard stories from friends about how good it could be when the real thing wasn’t an option. And also, she had ears, and no one in their right mind could ignore the sheer sexiness that was the sound of Spike’s voice whispering into the phone hours before a sleepless night would soon turn to dawn.

“Please, yes”

“They’re so soft William” she moaned out, reaching a hand up to gently squeeze her small but well-suited to her body's breasts. “Are you touching yourself?”

A heated pause before his gruff voice sounded out, “No”

“Good, I want you to hold off for awhile, can you do that for me?” The idea of him sprawled across the bed, free hand fisted in the sheets to keep himself from succumbing to his desire turning her on to no end.
“I’ll do anything, just please keep talking” he pleaded hoarsely.

“My nipples are hard, I wish you were here sucking on them”

If he was here he would have laughed at the deep blush that stained her cheeks, but he wasn’t, and for the time being she was a vixen.

“Running your tongue over one, biting it gently while your other hand squeezed the free one.”

She pinched her nipple roughly, arching her back and letting the sound of her moan travel to his ears.

“Fuck”

It was a strangled plea but she ignored it, she wanted him to burn for her pseudo-touch.

“I’m already wet and you haven’t even begun to touch me William”

“Lick your finger Buffy”

Without hesitation she did, “I want you to run that finger over your clit lightly, and spread your legs.” As though in a trance Buffy followed his instructions.

“Tell me how it feels, what you’re wanting it to be”

“It feels good, cold and warm at the same time”

He was fighting a losing battle, hips pumping slightly into the air, wanting to touch himself desperately, free hand reaching behind him to grab the headboard until his knuckles were white with restraint.

“I’m picturing it’s you, head between my legs, tapping your tongue against my clit, I’ asking you to give me more, I need to feel you inside me”

Spike squeezed his eyes closed at the thought, remembering the taste of her as she’d cum around his tongue their first night together.

“You’re going to be the death of me”

Emboldened she continued, “Your fingers dig into my thighs, leaving their marks on my skin while they spread my legs open even wider, fingers pushing into me roughly.”

There was only the sound of heavy breathing on the line and she smiled, “William?”

The sound of a grunt the only answer he could provide at the moment.
“Grab your cock”

Her free hand flew to her mouth in shock – she really couldn’t believe she was doing this but shyness be damned.

Spike’s eyes stayed closed as his hand released the headboard.

“Describe it to me William”

“’m taking my time kitten, hand rubbing down my chest, anxious”

Buffy moaned.

“Fuck, I wish you were here, nails digging into my back, teeth scraping across my nipples while you made your way down my chest, I’d have my hands tangled in your gorgeous locks, make you look at me while your tongue licked a trail down my stomach.”

“God William, grab your cock now” she demanded, her own fingers itching to slide inside her wet folds, desperately wanting to be filled, but she would wait.

A strangled moan hit her ears and the noise made her twitch, “Am I holding your cock now William?”

“Yes…so good Buffy, fuck, you’re teasing me, minx”

“Am I?” she asked breathlessly, fingers running the length of her stomach in anticipation.

“Fuck yes, pumping me slowly but tightly”

“William please” she begged.

“I’m on top of you now Buffy, pushing into you, you’re so wet”

“Yes” she gasped out, fingers delving between her folds, her hips thrusting into her own hand.

“Can you feel me?”

“Everywhere” she answered honestly.

“M’not going to last long, feels too good” he managed to gasp out.

“Me either, fuck me Spike”

Words were no longer needed, the sounds of their moans and heavy breathing enough to stimulate their imaginations, and their bodies.
Spike’s hand was gliding over his cock roughly, giving him the pleasure-pain he knew would soon have him spilling his load onto his stomach.

“William...I’m cumming Spike…fuck” he heard her cry into the phone and came undone, his hand pumping his length furiously and a growl escaping his lips as he too found his release.

A few moments of silence passed before either one spoke and their breathing returned to normal.

“That was nice” came her soft voice followed by a contented sigh.

“Just nice?”

“Monumental then, feel better?”

“Loads…Buffy?”

"Hmmm?"

“Stay on the phone with me?”

“I’m going to fall asleep though, I’m exhausted” she replied.

“Me too…”

She smiled, “Goodnight William”

“’Night Buffy”

They feel asleep listening to the sounds of their breathing.

Buffy groaned loudly, the sound of her doorbell ringing slicing through the delicious dream she’d been having about Spike.

Throwing her legs over the bed angrily she stomped down the stairs and flung the door open, shocking a surprised but coffee bearing Willow.

“Good morning?”

Buffy laughed, “No, but great night, come in.”

They walked to the kitchen and plopped themselves into the chairs, each taking a large sip of coffee before starting to speak again.

“So, spill, what was so great about last night?” Willow prodded.

Buffy’s cheeks turned pink and Willow suppressed a laugh, “Oh, so it was a REALLY great night huh? Spike I take it?”

Buffy nodded, “But it’s not what you think. We just talked…”

Willow burst out laughing, thankful that she hadn’t been mid-sip at Buffy’s statement.

“Buffy Summers you harlot, you had phone sex!” she accused good-naturedly.

Buffy giggled along with her, “It’s not my fault…he’s British.” she defended causing Willow to laugh harder.

After a moment Willow calmed, “Accents should be illegal in the US.”

“I agree, they’re dangerous”

“So, you and Spike are what exactly?”

Buffy smiled softly, “I don’t really know right now. Friends but more since we’ve already slept together, but I think we’re going to work on the friends part for now, you know?”

Willow did in fact know, but teasing Buffy was just too fun, “Why haven’t you ever called me to have phone sex since we’re, you know, friends?”

Buffy swatted her playfully, “Because I’m not your type, something I forced myself to come to terms with years ago.”

The doorbell rang again, and this time it was a much less irate Buffy who opened the door.

“Spike? What are you doing here?”

He gave the in-sight Willow a bright smile, “Can’t a bloke look up a girl and show up unannounced at her door to hang out with her and her friends?”

“They could, but they’d generally be called stalkers.”

“Can I take you ladies out to breakfast?”

Willow jumped up, “YES! I’m starving.”

Spike smiled, “Red, it’s nice to see you again. How’ve you been?”

Willow took a moment to appreciate his look, he really was gorgeous in his faded blue and torn jeans and a simple white wife-beater…and accessories – the silver chain that adorned his neck made his alabaster skin seem to ‘pop’ and the three rings on his fingers suited him. A leather cuff on his right wrist finished the ensemble and a brief look at his hair showcased why – or at least one of the reasons why – he went by the name Spike. Too bad he wasn’t her type – but good for Buffy for snagging him up, even if she didn’t realize she had just yet.

“Good, great even. You?”

“Tired but good.”

“Tired huh?” he saw the wicked gleam in her eye and smirked.

“Ya, it’s amazing how much some conversations can…drain you.”

Willow laughed and he couldn’t help but join in as they both saw the mortified look on Buffy’s face.

“I’m going to go get ready…perverts.”

She slammed the door to her room and heard the laughter get louder.


Willow’s laughs slowly subsided and she motioned him to the kitchen where they waited for Buffy to get ready.

“I don’t know if I got to say thank you, for the night that you helped Buffy out with that asshole, but it meant a lot to all of us.”

“Any decent guy would have done it Red, s’not like I have the patent on saving damsels in distress.”

“You don’t need a patent on it for it to mean something.”

He smiled – not smirked at her – this time, “Well, you’re welcome, but it was my pleasure.”

“So…what are your intentions with my friend?”

He tilted his head, “Right to the point, I like that. I like Buffy, what my intentions are as of this moment I can’t rightly tell you, but they don’t involve hurting her.”

Willow nodded, “Good, she’s been through a lot.”

He looked at her quizzically but didn’t pry, “’M sorry to hear that.”

“Good answer” Willow responded, happy that he hadn’t made a million false promises to her, opting for the truth instead, she admired him for it.

“She likes you” she added and was rewarded with a beaming smile from the man who looked suspiciously like an 80’s pop-rock star.

“Well, that works out well then.”

“She hasn’t liked anyone in a long time.”

His smile grew, “Well, that works out even better then. I’m not going to hurt her Red, I’ll be honest with her. If we turn into something more then we will, if not…well, we’ll see what happens from there. She’s cookie dough, in case you didn’t know.”

He laughed at her confused expression but didn’t elaborate on what he meant.

Buffy bounded down the stairs and Spike’s eyes were glued to her. Her now punky hair was tied into a high ponytail, she wore zero makeup, and had put on the girl equivalent of his outfit. He was hungry, but not for breakfast anymore.

Snapping himself out of it he asked, “You birds wanna’ call your friends, make this l’il outing a pow-wow?”

Buffy squealed and pulled out her phone, mouthing an ‘awesome, thank you’ to him while she told Xander and Anya where to meet them and the three headed out the door.



***
Spike couldn’t help it; he choked on his food while everyone gaped at the only non-red person at the table: Anya.

7 seconds earlier:

“So Spike, did you get your nickname because of your cock?”

Present time: (16 seconds later)

Buffy was looking out the window, Willow was pretending to read the menu, Xander was gaping, Spike was choking, and Anya was smiling.

“Oh come on now, he’s a man, we know he has a penis and an interesting nickname.” She looked at Xander, “Should I have used the term penis in the first place? Was it ‘cock’ that shocked everyone?”

Xander and Spike were at the cash arguing like gentlemen over who was going to pay while the girls waited outside.

“So, you realize he’s awesome right Buffy?” Willow asked while Anya nodded emphatically.

Buffy tried to play it cool, “Ya, I guess,” but the other women saw right through her and began to laugh.

“Come on Buffy, you have the healthy glow of an orgasm in the recent past, you can’t just shrug your shoulders.”

Buffy glared at Anya for all of three seconds before bursting out into laughter, “Ok, he’s amazing, you got me, but that doesn’t mean I know if it’s going to work. We had this big talk where he said something about picket fences and I rambled on about cookie dough…it was very metaphory and confusing for the both of us I think and we don’t really even know each other yet”.

“Cookie dough?” Willow prodded, her interest already piqued from Spike’s comment earlier that day.

Buffy sighed, “You know…I’m not done baking – becoming whoever the hell I’m going to be and so on”.

“Bullshit,” Anya interjected, “I know you’re a lot of things Buffy but I didn’t know you were a chicken-shit too”.

“Excuse me?”

Before it could turn into a spat of epic proportions Willow spoke up, “She’s right Buffy, I mean, you’ve known since you were a kid who you were, what you wanted. You’re not baking at this point, you’re burning. Get the hell out of the oven and oh my goddess can we please stop using this cookie metaphor?”

Buffy sighed, “He told me he doesn’t know what he wants guys, I got a whole spiel about him not wanting picket fences in the near future and I panicked, hence the cookie-dough speech”.

“So make him want it,” Anya supplied as though it was really that easy.

“Make who want what?” came the sexy, British voice.

Buffy gave Willow the ‘come up with something or I’ll crush you’ glare and Willow, being Willow, spat out the first thing that came to mind.

“Make Justin Timberlake want to make another album with N’Sync…cuz’… we miss N’Sync?” she stammered out while looking at Buffy apologetically.

Buffy gaped at her while Spike just tilted his head, “Who?”
“Never mind,” Buffy interjected, looking at Willow who was mouthing ‘Sorry’, “it’s just girl talk…”

“Me and Xander are going to go have sex now, Buffy, don’t pancakes turn you on too?”

Spike chuckled and looked at Xander, “She is definitely a keeper mate”.

“No Anya, pancakes don’t do it for me, shockingly enough,” Buffy hissed through clenched teeth.

Anya just shrugged her shoulders.

“Come on now kitten, I can see the appeal,” Spike replied, much to Buffy’s shock.

“What?”

“Well yeah, they’re all fluffy and moist, just dripping with a suggestive topping…”

“Okay, am I the only one here that lives in the dimension where syrup is JUST syrup and not something sexual?”

Willow opted not to answer, which was answer enough, while the other three looked at her like she’d clearly answered her own question.

“You guys are all sick,” she answered but with a slight smile that eased the harshness of her words.

“Willow, do you have any plans for the day?” Spike asked, thankfully changing the topic.

“Ya, actually, I have to work on a paper due next week for my psychology class so it’s going to be a book hitting day for me.”

“Guess that just leaves you and me kitten,” Spike said with a happy smile that she couldn’t help but return.

“I guess it does, you have any ideas?”

“S’a nice day, care to join me for a walk and some ice cream?”

“I’m going to catch a lift home with Xan and Anya, you guys have a good day,” Willow interjected and everyone said their goodbyes.

When the car had left the parking lot Spike looked at Buffy again, “So?”

“Walking sounds good; I think I packed on fifteen pounds at breakfast.”

“Pffft, it’ll take more than a l’il helping of fruit and a bagel to pack on fifteen pounds Buffy. You eat like a bird.”

Buffy giggled, “I do not, you just haven’t seen me really hungry yet,” she explained. Spike just shook his head and smiled at her.

“So, do we walk to the park or drive?”

“Walking is in order I think, don’t want you becoming obese now would we?” he teased and she swatted him playfully, “You wouldn’t like me if I was 300 pounds?” she asked jokingly.

He stopped walking and looked at her, “I would like you if you were 400 pounds Buffy, don’t get me wrong, I love the way you look but it’s who you are that I’m attracted to”.

Buffy didn’t know what to say, so in typical Buffy fashion she responded, “Liar”.

The playful banter stopped there, his eyes turning serious. “M’not lying about that, like I said, I love the way you look but a relationship’s built on more than that yeah? It’s built around falling in love with smiles, and heartaches, and bad habits, and character, and flaws. S’not about falling in love with bodies, bodies are fickle – always changing, personalities on the other hand, well, they tell you more than tight skin and toned muscles ever could. Bodies are just a means of introduction half the time; they’re barely the sustaining factor”.

“I thought we weren’t in a relationship?”

Spike laughed, “Of course that’s the part that you would hold onto. I’m not saying we are but…”

Buffy took pity on him, “But you’re not saying we’re not?”

He smiled widely at her, “Exactly…does that make sense?”

“Not at all,” she teased and took his hand, resuming their walk, “and yet somehow yes at the same time”.

“I do like you Buffy,” he said keeping his eyes facing ahead and giving her hand a small squeeze.

“I like you too William.”

“And m’sorry I don’t have more answers for you right now,” he added softly.

Buffy smiled to herself, “How about we finish taking the test before we go looking for the answers to it?”

“So…no cheating then?” he asked with a cocky smirk on his face.

Buffy took a moment to ponder the question, wondering if it was a trick one. Did he mean no ‘cheating’ on the test or did he mean no cheating on him? Since they weren’t technically in a relationship she could, by all means, see other men but the answer was an easy one – on both counts.

“No cheating,” she answered honestly and was rewarded with a beaming smile and a light kiss to her lips.

“Good answer,” he responded softly, only pulling away enough to speak before capturing her lips in another, more passionate, kiss.

Buffy pulled her hair up in a messy bun, all the while smiling softly at her reflection. She hadn’t been able to see Spike in over a week, their schedules stubbornly refusing to allow for some free time together.

But she’d thought about him, oh, how she had thought about him. The sound of his voice, the smooth expanse of his back, those too blue eyes that could look into her soul and devour her whole. A small shiver ran through her.

Last weekend had been nice, breakfast with her friends and then a whole metaphorical conversation about how they wouldn’t cheat on each other. She giggled as she applied some moisturizer to her face, for a guy who said he didn’t know what he wanted he sure was acting like they were in a relationship. It didn’t matter to Buffy, she couldn’t even picture seeing someone else after the way he made her body sing, she wouldn’t be cheating on her non-boyfriend anytime soon.

She locked the door behind her, making sure to grab her tote bag, Spike had been adamant that they spend the day swimming and tanning and who was she to complain? Her tan could use a little work and the thought of a completely relaxing day at the beach was exactly what she needed.

She rang the bell when she got to his house and laughed when he swung open the door as if he’d been waiting right behind it.

“’Ello gorgeous,” his voice almost a purr.

“Hey you, ready to go?”

His brow scrunched in confusion, “Go?”

“To the beach? With the sand and the sun and the people?” she supplied with a smile.

“Pffft, not going to the beach with someone as beautiful as you kitten, I’ve got a pool in the backyard, I was thinking we could just laze around here, I could rub some lotion on your back, you could put some on my…”, he finished the sentence with a leer she couldn’t help but roll her eyes at.

“So, you’re the jealous type then?”

“Depends on the situation.”

She lifted an eyebrow, “S’plainy?”

“Well sweetling, I wouldn’t be inclined to beat the shit out of someone looking at my car, but someone looking at my…my female friends goodies might not be a lucky bloke.”

“My female friends? As in girlfriends?” she teased, not expecting an answer she wasn’t shocked when he just smiled at her and pulled his top off.

“Ready for a swim?”

Two could play this game, she thought as she peeled her tank off slowly, bit by bit revealing the smooth expanse of tanned skin covered only by the tiniest red bikini top he’d ever seen, “You bet, I love getting wet Spike.”

He bit his tongue, he’d definitely made the right call on keeping this minx in his backyard today. Jealous Spike was someone he had no intention of showing her unless he absolutely had to. But horny Spike? That he had no problem with.

As soon as the water touched her skin she felt rejuvenated, and sexy she thought to herself with an inner giggle, covertly glancing Spikes erection just before he jumped in after her.
He came up from behind and held her back tightly to his chest, “I’ve missed you,” he admitted in an uncharacteristically shy voice while his not so shy hands were slowly creeping up her stomach, resting just under her barely clad breasts.

“Did you now?”

He bit down on her shoulder gently, “Uh huh.”

“Maybe I missed you a little too,” she answered, ‘accidentally pushing herself further back into his erection.


“Elizabeth?” came the most unwelcome voice she’d ever heard, a deep frown replacing the smile she’d just been wearing and shattering what she was sure would have been a wonderful moment.

Spikes head whipped toward the voice and released her, “Liam, you son of a bitch! Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? It’s been too long mate” he said excitedly and hopped out of the pool to give the man Buffy despised a welcoming hug.

Spike looked at Buffy, “Knew Buffy couldn’t have been your real name sweetness, so, how do you two know each other, he asked naively.

Angel ran a hand through his hair, “Spike, this is that girl Beth I was telling you about…”

Understanding hit Spike like a ton of bricks, right before a low growl formed in his throat and his fist slammed into his friends face.

Buffy climbed out of the pool and grabbed her towel, quickly drying off before heading inside to change.

Spike’s eyes never left Angel though his next words were directed to her, “Me and you, were gonna’ have a chat after this kitten, so don’t take off just yet.”

His only answer was the sound of the door closing behind her.

Liam stood there glaring at him, “What the fuck was that for Spike?”

“For what you did to her.”

“You didn’t even know her, fuck, I think my nose is broken, and we‘ve had this fight before” he spat out angrily.

“I think you should leave.”

Liam was livid, “You’re going to tell me to leave over a fucking girl? What the fuck’s gotten into you?”

Spike tried to stay calm, “Get out of here Liam, that first shot was a warning.”

He watched as his friend turned and walked away, the sadness of losing a friend never hitting him amidst the rage he felt towards him and the sorrow he felt for the girl inside, who, upon re-entering his house, was of course, not inside.

No note, no phone call, no nothing. She had just left.

He grabbed his car keys and headed for her house.


Buffy sat on her back porch, red-rimmed eyes betraying her current state: devastated.

Three years ago, on her 21st birthday, she’d lost her virginity to Liam “Angel” Lennon. The next morning had been one of the worst days of her life.

“You were a real pro kid”, he’d laughed at the heartbreak on her face. They’d been together 7 months, 7 months that had apparently not meant a single thing to him. She’d given him what she’d once considered the most special gift a girl could bestow to the man she loved. Of course the experience had opened her eyes to a few truths, virginity, while a very important gift, was not the most, no, honesty was. A text message had come hours later, telling her to get tested since she wasn’t the only girl he’d been with in the last several months. She heard he’d moved to L.A a few months later.

He’d told her he’d loved her, and then ripped her heart right out of her chest. It was as though he’d lost his soul overnight.

She’d been naïve then, so hopelessly romantic that she’d never seen it coming. Her mother had passed away not long after that, thankfully completely unawares of her daughters first foray into heartache. At least Joyce had been spared the pain of seeing a child so destroyed would have brought.


“S’not nice to run out on a guy like that Buffy.” Spike said quietly, letting himself into the backyard, “Ran the bell, there was no answer.”

She looked up at him with tired eyes, “Sorry”

He sat down next to her and sighed, “I wish I could tell you that I wasn’t friends with a guy like that…at any point in my life.”

“So you know? What he did?”

He nodded, “Punched him in the face then too…still, should have just cut my ties with him then and there. Can’t rightly tell you why I didn’t, didn’t know many people at the time, thought he was better than that deep down…”

She raised a hand, effectively cutting him off, “You don’t owe me any explanations Spike, it was just a shock seeing him. I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye.”

“Buffy”

“Ya?”

He looked her in the eyes, “I think I might like your fence.”

She smiled up at him, her white picket fence in the background.

“Is that a fact?”

He nodded, “Amongst several.”

“Name another then,” she teased, a smile slowly spreading across her face.

Despite his efforts, jealous Spike had reared his head.

“Alright then,”, his eyes drinking her in from head to toe, “ if you let me I’m going to take you upstairs right now to fuck you until you can’t remember anyone else but me.”

Buffy just looked at him, shocked by his blatantly primal need to have her, and did what any girl in her situation would do:

She said yes.

He held out his hand and she took it with no hesitation, both of them on a mission.

He wanted her to forget the others? Good, she wanted to forget them too, and while they were at it Buffy was hoping to give him some amnesia as well.

He smiled when he saw her room, all feminine with pink wallpaper and a stuffed pig on the bed, and clothes, clothes everywhere.

He didn’t say a word though, just walked her to the middle of the room and cupped her face gently before leaning in for the kiss he’d been craving since they’d been interrupted earlier today.

It completely contradicted the brashness of “fucking her ‘til she didn’t remember anyone else”, it was soft and sweet but left her wanting none the less.

She didn’t know when his hands had travelled underneath her bra, unhooking it with an ease she refused to think about, that was then, but now was, well, now.

She shivered as his hands skimmed over her back, gently rubbing, but never in one spot for too long. He wanted to take his time? Well, she had all the time in the world for this, had been waiting weeks for this, this full out exploration of each other. Today there was no time limits, no nasty whispers of how this wouldn’t work, no heart-wrenching realizations that they couldn’t work, there was just them, and they were fucking good together.

Weeks? Had it really only been weeks? It felt longer, maybe because for the first time she was happy, she moaned into the kiss and with a small jump wrapped her toned legs around his lean waist.

He walked them to the wall, his back leaning on it to support them, never breaking the kiss until she started to push herself into his erection, and his mouth, of its own accord, went to her too-covered breast, sucking the nipple greedily through the thin material of her shirt.

Her mouth clamped down on his shoulder, biting slightly harder than intended but the response was a wonderful growl that sent tremors right through her body. She ground into him more frantically now, but when his hand came up to not so gently pull on her hair, exposing her neck to him so that he could languidly run his tongue along her neck, she knew that the pace was his to control, and decided to just enjoy the ride.

Next thing she knew she was on the bed, Spike between her legs, nipping her aching clit through her shorts, “Fuck Spike…” she managed to gasp out, earning her another nip before he slid the offending shorts down her legs.

Taking a moment to drink her in he let out a small moan, “You’re so beautiful Buffy” he whispered before delving into her pussy with his too-talented tongue.

She couldn’t help herself and began to gently thrust into his ministrations, his hands sliding under her to grab her ass roughly when her hands reached down to run her fingers through his hair.

“Fuck baby, you taste so good” he growled, taking a moment to insert a finger into her before sucking her clit into his mouth. It was just what she’d needed and she came. He took his time, lapping at her pussy while she lay there boneless, licking his fingers clean, and then finally making his way up her body with a nonchalance that had to be innate, no one could possibly learn to be that suave.

“You’re delicious,” he whispered into her ear as he rubbed himself against her. And when exactly had his clothes come off?

His mouth was back at her breast now, his hands expertly sliding her shirt down and off her body, leaving her body completely exposed to him, just the way she wanted it. Almost as if he could read her mind his mouth travelled to her other, neglected, nipple.

The things he could do to her were incredible, she would bark right now, if that’s what he asked of her.

Instead he kissed her again, a slight hissing sound escaping his lips as he slid into her, painfully slow, until he was completely sheathed inside her.

His forehead pressed against hers while he struggled for self control, trying not to fuck her into oblivion, trying to convey to her what he felt through his actions, not quite able to voice them just yet.

A moment later found him sliding in and out of her painfully slow, her body shaking as her hands skimmed over his back, nails slightly scraping into his skin.

When her soft voice whispered in his ear, “I think I might love you William.”

He pulled back to look at her, her eyes closed, well, that wouldn’t do at all.

“Look at me,” he urged, resting his weight on his elbows so that he could cup her face, his hips still pumping tortuously slow.

She shook her head ‘no’, and he couldn’t help but smirk, she was too adorable.

“Buffy please,” he pleaded and he laughed softly when one of her eyes peeked open to look at him.

“You can do better than that, can’t you sweetness?…There we go” he said softly when both her emerald eyes were focused on him, she clamped her inner muscles around him and he groaned loudly.

She was playing dirty now, but all was fair in love and war, or so he’d heard.

He pressed a sweet kiss to her lips, “Say it again?”, when a moment passed in silence save the sounds of their bodies coming together he added a gentle “please”.

“I think I might love you William,” she whispered, eyes watering she tried to look away but he caught her face in his hands, keeping her eyes on him.

“Why the tears?” he asked, kissing her again before she could answer.

She flipped them over and he didn’t fight it, if she needed this position to feel more in control of everything he’d let her have it, but at a price he thought with an inner smile and one hand travelled to her ass and the other found her clit, his thumb rubbing and pinching as her pussy clenched around him.

“I feel…”, she let out a guttural moan when he shifted his hips slightly, allowing her to sink further down onto his hardened cock.

“I feel stupid,” she admitted.

Something primal in him snapped and he forced her to allow him to sit up, so that they were face to face as she rode him. His mouth attacked hers with brutal need, his hands tangling in her hair.

“Don’t you ever, ever feel stupid for that Buffy, please baby, don’t ever,”, her body was riding him furiously now, and he didn’t know how long he would last at this rate so he held her hips in place and waited for her to look at him again before continuing, “I’ve never felt this way about someone before…like I’m drowning in you Summers.”

Buffy felt her heart racing wildly in her chest, ‘could he feel it?’ she wondered briefly before she began to ride him again.

His teeth and tongue licked and nipped at her nipples while his hands squeezed her ass every time she came down on his throbbing cock, “I think I might love you too,” she barely managed to hear over their moans and it sent her over the edge.

When her pussy started to clamp down frantically around his erection his mouth sought hers, kissing her as he let go, pumping his seed into her, her name on his lips as he fell backward, completely spent.

How long they had been like that neither one knew. Her head on his chest, him still inside her as he drew lazy patterns on her back.

“Buffy?”

“Hmmmm?”

“Drown with me.”

It was a statement, not a question, and one he knew the answer to as soon as her lips met his in the sweetest kiss they’d shared so far.