Part 2: Making Plans

Chapter 1 - Battlefield of Love

Don’t try to explain your mind
I know what’s happening here
One minute, it’s love
And, suddenly, it’s like a battlefield

One word turns into a
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down
My world’s nothing when you’re gone
I’m out here without a shield - can’t go back, now

Both hands tied behind my back for nothing, oh, no
These times when we climb so fast to fall, again
Why we gotta fall for it, now…

I never meant to start a war
You know, I never wanna hurt you
Don’t even know what we’re fighting for
Why does love always feel like a battlefield

Can’t swallow our pride
Neither of us wanna raise that flag, mmm
If we can’t surrender
Then, we’re both gonna what we have, oh, no

Both hands tied behind my back for nothing,
These times when we climb so fast to fall, again
I don’t wanna fall for it, now…


2 days before Thanksgiving

William, aka Spike, came home late Tuesday night. Everyone was already in bed. The house was dark and silent and he was exhausted. He dropped his stuff off in the living room and quietly tip toed up the stairs to his bedroom. As quietly as he could, he opened the bedroom door and stepped inside. She was asleep. She looked so peaceful. He shut the door behind him and undressed, still making sure to be as silent as possible. He didn’t want to wake her. It had been 3 weeks since he’d laid eyes on his beautiful golden goddess and still he didn’t want to wake her. Would she want to be woken?

Instead of pondering the question longer he slipped into their bed, fully unclothed. He didn’t pull her to him. He opted for staying a couple feet away from her in the bed and gently brushing some hair out of her face. The moon let a little light into the room tonight and it made her look more angelic than he could ever remember. He had really missed her. He wanted to hold her close, breathe in her scent, kiss her breathless, ravish her until they were both sated, but he didn’t. He was walking a fine line though as he caressed her cheek. She stirred and he pulled back a little.

A moment later she stilled again. She was gorgeous, the love of his life, but he didn’t want to wake her. Instead of pulling her to him and taking that risk, he turned over on his side of the bed and quickly fell into a deep sleep. He was truly exhausted from the tour and part of him was grateful to be getting sleep right now. That didn’t stop him from missing her though. Three weeks without her had nearly killed him. He didn’t think he’d be able to bear it at the start, but somehow he’d managed to do just that.


Morning came and Buffy slowly opened her eyes and looked straight at the man sleeping a few feet from her. It took her all of 3 seconds to realize he was really home. When had he come home? Why didn’t he wake her? These questions ran through her mind as she stared at him. He was within reach if she wanted to touch him, but her mind was too busy going over why he was sleeping on the other side of the bed. He never did that. He always held her. They slept together and for the first time since they’d started sharing their bed just a few short months ago, Buffy felt like Spike was putting distance between them.

It confused her and it scared her. She’d come so far in putting her trust in him, but it had wavered over the last few weeks. Easy was the last word she would use to describe the last 3 weeks without William. That brought her back to why he had chosen to sleep on the opposite side of the bed from her and not wake her up when he got home. Was something wrong? Did he not want to hold her when he came home? Did he stop loving her? And then, was he going to leave her?

Spike leaving her was the one thing she feared more than anything else. Her father had left her and her mom and sister without so much as a backward glance. Buffy wondered if Spike was capable of doing something like that, but every so often her fears got the best of her. It didn’t happen often with how well things had been going, but since he’d been gone her fears were certainly more prevalent in her mind if not his. Now that he was back she thought things would get back on the right track, but apparently things weren’t going to go back.

His body moved slightly and she pushed her thoughts out of her mind and put a smile on her face. She instantly moved herself closer to him, as close as she could get. Pressing her face to his chest and holding him in her arms, she took in his strong muscles, his firm chest, his warmth and comfort. In his arms she felt safe and loved. Even his scent drew her in and calmed her. There wasn’t a thing about him that she didn’t love.

For a moment she just held onto him. He was finally home after 3 long weeks. Even the 5 years she had lived without didn’t feel as long as the last few weeks. Maybe that was because she finally knew what it felt like to be with him. The last few months of their life together had been almost perfect. The 3 weeks without him had been hard though. She had missed him. She hated sleeping alone and not being able to kiss him. They had even argued on the phone, more than she liked to admit.

None of that mattered now though because he was here. She began peppering his chest with kisses and then she murmured, “I missed you.” She knew he was awake now, even before he spoke.

“I missed you too,” he said back, caressing her cheek to get her to look at him. When she met his gaze he smiled down at her. God! She was so beautiful! “I love you, Buffy.”

“I love you too, William.” She pulled herself up so her face was just inches from his. Moving her hand over his face, caressing and rememorizing his features, she looked into those blue eyes that took her breath away. Then she pressed her lips to his ever so softly, only pulling back to whisper, “Welcome home, baby.”

“And what a woman to come home to,” he whispered against her neck. “I missed you so much,” he said again, still holding her close and not looking at her.

“I missed you too,” she said, for the second time, resting her head on his chest. Her fingers began slowly tracing imaginary patterns along his shoulder.

“Is everything ok, pet?” he asked, growing concerned from the way she was absent mindedly drawing on his skin.

“Yep,” she said cheerfully. She looked at him then and added, “You’re home and tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Everything’s perfect.” Buffy leaned in and kissed him again, quickly turning the kiss passionate. Her tongue came out to play, enticing him to join in on the fun.

He could never resist her, not even if he tried. William let his tongue wander into her mouth as he wrapped his arms around her waist. The longer the kiss lasted the more turned on he got. His excitement was obviously growing and he was sure Buffy could tell since she was now on top of him.

She pushed her body as close to his as she could get it. She ran her hands over his chest, loving the feel of his rippled muscles beneath her fingertips. “Mmmm,” she moaned against his lips.

He grabbed her ass in his hands, grinding his erection against her core. The heat was almost unbearable. All he wanted was more. More of her. More touching. More everything.

He slid his hands inside her panties and squeezed her ass firmly. When she moaned into his mouth he quickly moved one hand to unhook her bra. He then helped her take the bra off before he tossed it to the floor. His hands moved again to start taking her panties off.

She used her hand to get them off part of the way and wiggled them the rest of the way down her legs. Then she smiled as she sat up and straddled him, knowing that he was already naked. Taking him in her hand, she positioned him and lowered herself until she was fully seated on him.

Buffy moaned in pleasure just as she heard a groan from William. It felt so good to have him inside of her again. She started rising and falling on his dick as his hands held her hips, helping to steady her movements.

They started off slow, enjoying every fraction of a second, every sound, and every motion. It couldn’t stay that way though. Things were bound to escalate. The first sign to William that it was changing was the contracting of her inner muscles around his shaft. He moaned again and caught her eyes and he knew that she was close. There was also a glint that told him she was trying to push him to his limit. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold out though. To bring her closer he slid his hand up her thigh, caressed her abdomen, and finally rested it on her mound. He easily found her clit and rubbed it thoroughly. He flicked it relentlessly until she was writhing above him, panting his name and pulling him over the edge with her. His seed spilled inside her and she slowly came down from her high, falling against his chest in a satisfied heap of limp muscles.

He smiled at her and turned them over on their sides, so that he could lean over her a little and get a better look at his golden goddess. “I love you, Buffy,” he whispered before he kissed her softly.

The kiss was slow and languid, giving Buffy ample time to get into it. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him to her firmly. She almost loved kissing him more than making love to him. Kissing was so intimate, but then so was their love making. She never felt closer to him than when they were intimately linked. Allowing herself to fall into the kiss a little more she began running her fingers over the smooth muscles of his back. Her tongue was being playful as it tried to evade his, darting back into her mouth.

She finally giggled amidst her teasing. Then she felt him rub himself against her and she gasped. She met his eyes and saw the mixture of love and lust there. Could he really be ready for another round? The hardness pressed between her thighs told her he could. Raising her hips to tell him she was ready, she smiled at him and kissed him chastely. “Make love to me, William.”

When she opened her legs for him he slid inside, burying himself in her warmth. He pressed soft kisses to her neck as they both adjusted again. She always felt tight to him and it took some self control not to come right then. The little noises she made didn’t help any either, but he loved every sound she made. He kissed her softly on the lips and began to move inside of her.

This time he went slowly. His thrusts were carefully calculated so that his pelvic bone rubbed her clit just right on each up stroke. The way she moved her hips to meet him thrust for thrust was bringing him so close to his boiling point. He was almost there, but he wanted to hold off. He wanted this moment to last.

The gasps and soft moans she was eliciting were driving him crazy. She drove him crazy with everything she did. He loved her more than he could have ever imagined and when he was away from her he felt much more alone than he liked. He liked the way he felt when he was with her and the man she made him. It was like just being in her presence made him step up his game.

It seemed that they would never get enough of each other. Buffy missed William just as much as he missed her while he was away with the band. She didn’t know how she put up with it, but having him home made her realize how good they were together. She began clenching her muscles around him again as her second orgasm of the morning hit her. He had her so occupied she didn’t even know what time it was. All that she knew was that she was about to have another orgasm.

One tapered off only to lead into the next. Buffy gasped and whispered “William” as her next orgasm overtook her senses. He captured her moan in his mouth and made his thrusts a little harder. “William,” she gasped again as he hit the spot with his last thrust. Her mouth formed that perfect ‘O’ and he spilled himself inside of her again.

She came down from her high and felt him pull out of her. Despite the loss of contact she was completely happy. She moved her head to rest on his chest and she listened to his racing heart. It slowly began to return to its normal rhythm and she smiled as she looked up at him and saw that he was drifting off to dreamland again. “My William is so tired,” she murmured, grazing his cheek with the backs of her fingers briefly.

Buffy quietly climbed out of bed and glanced at the clock to see that it was only 8 o’clock. Knowing that Dawn would still be asleep for at least another hour she put a robe on and went to check on Will. When she peered inside his room she saw that he was still sound asleep too. Since he’d probably be up soon she decided to take a quick shower to clean up.

A few hours later William woke up, stretching his body to discover that he was alone in bed. He looked over to Buffy’s side of the bed to confirm it. When he listened carefully he could hear voices downstairs. He climbed out of bed and decided to take a quick shower before going downstairs.

As he came back into the bedroom a few minutes later, he glanced at the clock and noted that it was 10:30 already. He realized that he’d gotten quite a bit of sleep in despite the early morning romp he’d had with Buffy. A smile brightened his features as the image of her in bed crossed his mind. He quickly dressed himself and descended the stairs with that same bright smile still plastered on his face.

The moment his eyes met Buffy’s he saw her smile too. Will and Dawn were already up too and watching cartoons. It was only Wednesday, but he could tell that Buffy was already making preparations for tomorrow’s dinner. He wasn’t sure exactly why, but he felt nervous about it too. Thanksgiving wasn’t something he normally celebrated and he just hoped he didn’t screw something up. He definitely didn’t want to be the one to ruin Buffy’s Thanksgiving.

Wednesday went by rather quickly. Buffy stayed in the kitchen working on a few of the more labor intensive dishes. William spent time with little Will and Dawn. They watched TV and played games. He even took them out to the park and got them ice cream. All in all they had a wonderful day and when they came home Dawn convinced Buffy to order take out and watch a movie with them. Of course she had to promise to help Buffy in the kitchen tomorrow though.


Thanksgiving Day

Buffy slaved the day away in the kitchen, working hard to make a memorable Thanksgiving dinner because it was their first as a family. She also wanted it to be good because William would be going away again on Friday, just one more day. They only had today and she wanted to make it the best day possible.

It was a lot to hope for considering that perfection is something that is quite unattainable. Buffy didn’t really think about that though. She just wanted this day to be perfect. The last thing she realized was that any day spent with her and the kids was perfect for William and that he didn’t need a big, fancy Thanksgiving. He was from Britain for heaven’s sake, so Thanksgiving was probably the last holiday he had ever celebrated.

After a long day in the kitchen with some help from Dawn dinner was finally ready. Buffy served it to a hungry family and was happy with the final result. Everyone was happy and dinner was as close to perfection as you could get. Surprisingly not a thing went wrong with Thanksgiving dinner. Once dinner was done though was a completely different matter.

Chapter 2 - Black Friday

Friday morning

Buffy woke up in the arms of the man she loved. She wouldn’t have had it any other way either. If she could have her way she would wake up in his arms every day for the rest of her life, but she didn’t get her way. And the more she woke up this morning the more she realized that she’d be spending the next 4 weeks without him again. She hated that fact.

It was the way things were for now, but that didn’t mean she had to like it. In fact she really, really disliked it. All she wanted was for William to stay with her. He’d barely just gotten home and he had to leave again. It was hard on her and it was hard on the kids.

Her back was pressed to his chest and his arms were wrapped possessively around her waist. She brought one of his hands up to kiss it and she smiled against his warm flesh. “I love you,” she whispered. “And I don’t want you to go,” she admitted softly, believing that he was still asleep.

To her surprise he held her tighter and kissed her shoulder and neck. “I love you too, Buffy.” He was quiet for a few seconds before responding to the latter part of her comment just a moment ago. “You know I have to go though.” She was quiet and he sighed softly. “I just want to provide for you and Dawn and Will. I just want you to be happy.”

“I’m happy when you’re here,” she said softly.

“I know baby, but I’ll be back soon. It’ll hardly feel like I’m gone at all.”

“You know that’s not true. I miss you every second that you’re gone. It drives me crazy William and I can hardly stand it.” Her tone was changing to something a little bit more angry and desperate toward the end.

He caressed her back lovingly. “It’s only 4 weeks Buffy.” He was trying to get her to see that it wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t working. She didn’t want to see things his way.

“Only?” she scoffed. “You can’t mean that!” She abruptly turned in his arms so that she could look at him. “Is it only 4 weeks to you? Do you not go crazy every time you walk out that door? Because I do. Every time you leave me I’m afraid you’re not coming back. I’m afraid that something between us will change, that we won’t love each other the same way that we do now… that…”

“Buffy, baby, I’ll be back soon. I’ll call you and write to you. You know that I always do that. You won’t be alone.” He moved his hand to caress her cheek, but was surprised when she withdrew from his touch.

“Don’t,” she whispered pitifully. “I love you too much to continue with the goodbyes. Last night was perfect but now… now I have to say goodbye to you all over again. You’re barely home and then you’re gone again. Maybe Will and Dawn don’t notice… or at least Will, but I do notice. I notice it all. That you’re gone, that the phone calls aren’t enough, and that the road separates us for months on end.”

“I love you. You know that, Buffy.” He was really trying here. He knew it was hard to be apart from each other. Christ! It was hard for him too. He wanted to stay with her.

When she looked up at him now there were tears in her eyes and it broke his heart. She knew that he loved her. She could see it plain as day in the way he looked at her. It wasn’t something he really had to try to convince her. That didn’t change her fears though. She was still afraid that he would leave her. Love didn’t stop someone from leaving.

“Oh, baby,” he murmured soothingly, pulling her close to him. “I’m coming back. You have to know that.” He brought her face up so he could look into her eyes. “I’m coming back to you, Buffy. I promise,” he said seriously.

He held her for a while, rubbing her back soothingly. He didn’t know what else to do. There wasn’t much he could say. In his mind all he could do was prove her wrong. He had to sort through a few things in his mind too. They didn’t have much time left today though. He’d have to leave soon, and as he glanced over her shoulder at the clock on the bedside table he realized just how little time he had left with her.

“Buffy, I need to get ready to go,” he whispered softly. “I don’t want to go, pet, but you know I have to…” He kissed the top of her head before leaning down to kiss her on the lips. For a brief moment he deepened the kiss, but Buffy quickly broke it and climbed out of bed to run into the bathroom.

William sighed and ran his hands over his face. There was a tightening in his chest. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt Buffy, but that seemed to be what he was doing. Instead of moping in bed he quietly climbed out of bed and started to get dressed. He’d already packed a few bags for the tour yesterday. After tossing a few more things into his bags he was ready to leave. He didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye to Buffy though, so he stood at the bathroom door and knocked softly.

“Love, come out, please,” he nearly begged.

“I can’t say goodbye to you,” she sniffled. It was true. She couldn’t say it to him. It was breaking her heart just to know that he was leaving because it felt like he might not come back.

“Ok,” he replied. “I… I guess I’ll see you in a few weeks then and I’ll call you later.” He really didn’t want to leave things this way with her, but he didn’t have much of a choice at the moment. “I love you,” he said again, running his hand over the door one last time before turning and leaving.

He grabbed his bags and walked to the front door. He had just one more thing to do before he left. There was another goodbye that wasn’t going to be much easier than the first. William ascended the stairs and knocked on Will’s door before entering.

“Hey buddy,” he spoke softly. He couldn’t imagine how hard it was for his little boy not having him around, especially when he’d been absent so much of his life already. How could he keep leaving them?

Will turned and looked at his dad with a smile. He was still young enough that he didn’t understand everything that went on around him. He was smart for a 5 year old and he knew that it had been just him and his mom for a long time. For a child he was precocious and he knew that his dad came and went a lot, but to him it mattered more to him that his dad was around.

“Hi Dad,” Will said cheerfully. “Did you come to say goodbye?” he asked. He might not understand everything at 5, but he was aware that his dad was going away again.

“Yeah, Will, I have to go again.” He ran his hand through Will’s hair briefly before saying, “I’m going to miss you pal.”

“I’m going to miss you too Dad,” Will said, turning around and wrapping his little arms around his dad’s neck.

William hugged his son tightly for a long moment. He kissed him on the cheek and then said, “It’s time for me to go Will.”

Will was tough. He wasn’t going to cry. “Ok Dad.”

“I’ll see you soon though, ok?” William asked, pulling away from Will and looking him in the face.

Will nodded and waved as his dad left his room.

Next William knocked on Dawn’s door and came in when he heard the quiet “Come in.”

He smiled softly at the girl he’d always thought of as a little sister. “Can you do a favor for me Dawnie?”

“Depends what it is,” Dawn said with a smirk. She knew what he would ask. He’d want her to take care of Buffy while he was away.

He smiled again, knowing that she was teasing him. “I want you to look out for Buffy while I’m gone. I know it’s hard on her that I’m gone for so long, but I know you can help her a little.” There really wasn’t anything else he could say, so he walked over and kissed Dawn on the forehead before saying, “See you later nibblet.”

 

It didn’t take long for Buffy to come out of the bathroom. Once she heard the front door open and close she came out from hiding. She wiped her tears away and stared at the bedroom that she’d shared with William for the past couple of days. It was their room, but she had it all to herself for too much of the time these days.

Instead of moping around the house though, she decidedly got dressed and went downstairs to fix something for the kids to eat before taking them Christmas shopping. There would be tons of deals today and it would take her mind off of William, at least for a little while.