The solitary figure lay on the abandoned beach, catching the last of the day's sun. He didn't know whether he would be able to enjoy the sun like this again. He continued lying on the soft, cool sand until well after the sun went down. He started when a voice spoke to him from under the dark pier.
"You know, it's not safe for you to be out after dark anymore." He slowly got up off the sand, brushed himself off and ambled toward the figure that emerged from the pier. When he spoke, his tone conveyed his annoyance and disappointment to his companion.
"So I guess that's a 'no' then about turning me back?" Spike grumbled, stuffing his hands in his coat pockets.
Angel chuckled. "Give the boy a prize," he said as he clapped his hands. "Apparently, the Powers That Be have bigger plans for you and they require you to stay human."
"What about that whole prophecy thingy? Whazzit called? Softshoe?" Spike asked.
"You mean the Shanshu? Not at the end of the apocalypse yet. Guess they require your talents elsewhere," Angel explained.
"Did they at least tell you why I'm human?" Spike asked, annoyed at Angel's evasiveness.
"You're human because you crossed paths with a Mohra demon and lost," Angel replied testily. "All they told me was that your time as a vampire had come to an end and what is, is meant to be," Angel lied easily. He really didn't want to tell Spike the real reason he was to remain human. He knew Spike would have to know eventually, but as long as he was the only one who knew the truth, it wasn't going to be anytime soon.
________________________________________
Buffy thrashed around in her bed, first mumbling and then crying. She managed to break out of her nightmare and crack one eye open to look at the alarm clock on her side table.
"What I figured," she thought hazily, "it's 6am and the same dream as always." She rolled onto her back and gazed at the ceiling. She wondered how long she would keep dreaming about him. It had been 6 years since Sunnydale became nothing but a crater, but his face and last words to her haunted her still.
She groaned slightly and rolled out of bed. Another day and more new Slayers to bring into the fold. Willow had told her the day before that she had sensed a few in the Pacific Northwest back in the States that had been missed on the last sweep through. A trip to Idaho, Oregon, and Northern California was on the agenda today. Faith was too busy with whatever it was she was doing to be bothered to go fetch them, so the task fell to the senior Slayer. Buffy didn't mind. It meant getting out of Rome and back to work. She hated the down time in between Willow's visions. Her thoughts tended to consume her when she was idle and her sleep was always worse when she wasn't busy doing something.
She changed into her workout clothes and slowly descended the stairs of the villa they were using as headquarters for their little organization. No one was usually awake at this hour so she thought she might be able to get in an hour or so for a workout, which she desperately needed. As she reached the ground floor, a cheery, yet sleepy voice called out to her.
"Mornin' Buff," Willow said, softly. She laid the map and crystal aside on the coffee table and rose from the couch, stretching her arms aloft as she did.
"Long night, no Slayers?" Buffy asked, already knowing the question.
"Nope, no new ones yet," Willow replied, yawning. "But I'm sure I'll pick up something soon. How did you sleep?" Willow knew Buffy hadn't been sleeping well lately. Dark circles had become a permanent fixture underneath her eyes and this morning was no exception.
"Fine," Buffy lied. Her nighttime outbursts had awoken the villa's inhabitants far too often, so Willow had taken to casting a silence charm over Buffy's room before she went to sleep. Everyone else had slept great after that. Everyone that is, except Buffy.
"Anything new in the dream department?" Willow inquired, hope rising in her voice.
"Nope. Same old, same old," Buffy replied, dully. "I'm gonna head downstairs and workout for a little while. Let me know when Dawn gets up, OK?" she asked.
"Will do. And Buffy?" Willow hesitated. She knew that she could end her friend's sleepless nights and permanent state of depression, but was it good for her? He had told them not to tell her.
"What, Wil?" Buffy spun around, hand on the doorknob.
"Nothing, have a good workout," Willow said nervously. Buffy knew her friend was holding something back, but she wasn't sure what and this morning she just didn't have the energy to quiz her further. She shot a smile back at Willow and entered the training chamber. Right now, she just needed to beat the crap out of something. Maybe then she'd feel something, because at this moment, all she could feel was numbness surrounding her. And although she had gotten used to the numbness, she could sense something else creeping in under it and it unnerved her, not knowing what it was.

He awoke screaming, thinking he was on fire. It took him a few seconds to realize he hadn't closed the curtains in his room at the Hyperion before he went to sleep. The sunlight streaming through the windows was a new and strange feeling that would take a lot of getting used to. He slowly rolled out of bed to close the curtains. As he tugged them close, his door swung violently open and Illyria was wielding a sword. He jumped and clutched his chest in alarm.
"I heard a scream like a female's. Do you require any assistance in the removal of the screaming female?" she asked rigidly, cocking her head to one side.
"Bloody hell! Why won't you learn how to knock like a normal person!" he screamed, feeling his pulse slowly returning to normal. He hadn't had a beating heart in almost 130 years, so the sensation took a little getting used to. He glared at Illyria before saying through clenched teeth, "Get the SODDING hell out of my room."
She turned and exited his room as quickly as she had arrived. One good thing about her was that she knew how to take an order, he thought. He climbed back into bed but was unable to fall back asleep. He lay there thinking about the dream that had awoken him so abruptly.
Buffy had been in trouble and had called out his name, but he wasn't able to reach her in time and she had fallen into the abyss. His unconscious had been plaguing him with dreams of her ever since he became human. He had managed to repress most of his thoughts of her when he was a vampire, but now it seemed to consume him. Would it fade away or was he destined to obsess over her for the rest of his days? He wasn't sure, but the guitar sitting next to his chair was beckoning him. His poetry had undergone a metamorphosis into writing music. And since his muse kept torturing him, it was only fitting that he would write a song for her.
________________________________________

She wiped the sweat from her brow and continued her assault on the punching bag. She never heard the door open or the soft footsteps on the stairs. Dawn had called to her several times and received no reply, until she yelled at the top of her lungs.
"BUFFY!" Dawn screamed harshly. Buffy spun around, fists at the ready. When she saw it was her sister, she lowered her hands and grabbed the towel that Dawn offered to her.
"Thanks, Dawnie. What time is it?" Buffy inquired, wiping her sweaty brow and neck.
"It's 10:30. Willow was wondering when you wanted to go. She's been itching to get out of the house and teleport somewhere for ages," Dawn said, chuckling. Willow's power had progressed even further past astral projection and she could now teleport, albeit with only a single passenger. It would make their mission to the States very interesting since Willow would have to keep popping back and forth, taking one girl at a time. It may have been tedious, but at least it was faster than normal air travel and didn't require any of those pesky passports.
Buffy smiled. "Tell Air Willow that as soon as I take a shower, I will be ready to go. What time is it back there? Won't we show up pretty late?" She hadn't had a need to check the time on the west coast for a long time, but she knew it would be late at night.
Dawn nodded her head. "Willow talked to Angel and he said you guys could stay at the hotel. He's not there right now, but Gunn and Illyria are there and he said you were welcome. Just have to buy your own food since Gunn doesn't live there and all he has stocked in the fridge is blood."
Buffy looked at her sister quizzically. "Where did Angel go?"
Dawn shrugged her shoulders. "Willow didn't say. Probably after some more evil Wolfram & Hart henchmen. Or another dragon." Buffy followed her sister up the stairs and was greeted to the smell of breakfast cooking. Her stomach growled loudly and made Dawn giggle. "You worked up quite an appetite. Good thing Tara made breakfast," she said.
"Buffy!" Willow yelled from the den. "I found one in Poland and two in northern Russia." Buffy hurried into the den.
"So does this mean we'll have to put off LA for a little while?" she asked expectantly.
"Yup, we need to get the European ones first before it gets too late," Willow stated. "We'll pop to LA after we pick these up."
Buffy seemed almost relieved they weren't going to California first. She hadn't been back there in six years and was very hesitant to return. She climbed the steps two at a time and reached her room in no time. She hastily rummaged through her drawers to find clothes before heading to take a quick shower. When she emerged clean and 100% sweat-free, she felt energized. Two trips in one day. She may actually sleep through the night tonight without a single bad dream. She hurriedly dried her hair and dressed before quickly descending the stairs to quickly enjoy the breakfast feast that awaited her.
The girl in Poland was a breeze to deal with. Katia seemed smart and capable and eager to learn more about her abilities. The Russian twins were another story. Stubborn was putting their reaction mildly. Larissa and Varya tried explaining to Buffy and Willow in broken English that they were fine by themselves and knew how to take care of all things supernatural. It took several hours of negotiating before the twins finally agreed to come to Rome and learn how to be proper Slayers. By the time Willow teleported them to LA, Buffy's head was throbbing and she was exhausted. She really hoped Angel's hotel had comfortable beds and a very deep bathtub because she desperately needed both.

Chapter 3

Spike was intermittently strumming his guitar and writing notes down on the sheets of lined paper. He was nearly finished, but wasn't sure if it sounded right. As he started playing from the beginning, Buffy's ears perked up at the melodic sound of guitar emanating from the courtyard. Willow tried to hold her back, but Buffy was too far out of her reach by the time she realized where she was headed. Buffy opened the doors into the courtyard and gazed at the back of the wavy, brown haired man belting out the plaintive tune.


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"Are we done for now,
Or is this for good,
Will there be something in time?
With us there should.

Only girl for me is you
There can be no other one
If I didn't have faith
I would come undone

So much promise in your eyes
Seems that I can only see
It always makes me wonder
If you save it all for me

Maybe you do
Maybe you don't
Maybe you should
Probably won't...

Because there will be...

There will be other guys
Who will whisper in your ear
Say they'll take away your sadness
And your fears

They may be kind and true
They may be good to you
But they'll never care for you
More than I do…"


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Buffy stood there stunned, unable to breathe properly. Spike laid the guitar down to write down a few more notes when his pencil broke.

"Oh, bollocks," he griped. He noticed her out of the corner of his eye. He stood up quickly and faced her.

"Buffy," he mouthed, unable to get the words to come out. He blinked rapidly, unable to move any other part of his body.

She was struck equally dumb. In her mind she was screaming "Spike!" but her mouth couldn't form the words and her vocal chords seemed paralyzed. They stood frozen like that for what seemed like an eternity before Willow came bursting through the courtyard doors calling out to Buffy.

She snapped out her shock long enough to realize he was standing in the sunny courtyard and hadn't burst into flames. What was going on and what did Willow know about this? Furthermore, why hadn't Angel told her that Spike was back? Millions of questions buzzed in her head but she couldn't get a single one to coherently come out of her mouth. Her emotions swirled like a vortex – happiness at having him back quickly changed to anger at having been lied to and then went back again.

Buffy turned to her friend, jaw slackened and eyes wide, glistening with tears. Willow's pleading eyes told her what she already knew.

"You knew?" she asked quietly, her anger starting to poke through again.

"He didn't want us to tell you," Willow said apologetically.

Buffy's jaw tightened and her eyes blazed. She glanced from her friend to the still immobile Spike.

"He told you not to tell me what exactly?" she seethed, pointing an accusatory finger at Spike.

"I told them not to tell you, love, because I wanted you to move on with your life. I would have just buggered things up," Spike explained quietly.

She turned to face him and he could plainly see the maelstrom of emotions that she felt right there on her face. Her eyes were still glistening as she held back tears, but her body was tensed, ready to attack.

"Who them?" she asked slowly, deliberately.

He silently cursed himself. He looked down for a moment before meeting her gaze again. "Angel, Andrew," he pointed a finger at Willow, "Red there, Wesley-"

She held up her hand to stop him. "I get it; everyone knew except for me. Great! Anything else you'd like to tell me? Like why you're not going all crispy in the sun? Find a new sunscreen? SPF 5 million maybe?" She crossed her arms in front of her and glared at him.

He hadn't really practiced what he was going to say to her. He thought he had had more time. His instinct had been to walk to the top of the steps where she was standing, but he stood his ground by the fountain.

"Noticed, did ya?" he said as he looked at her and smiled. She didn't smile back. Her lips were pursed and her eyes were angry now. He quickly went on.

"I've been touring the hell dimensions the last few years, killing anything that tried to make their way topside. Ran into a Mohra demon a couple months ago. Turned me into this," he swept his arms out.

She took in the new information, nodding her head. "So how long have you been back?" she asked quietly.

"Some brassed off Wolfram & Hart bloke named Lindsay found the amulet in the ruins of Sunnyhell. He mailed it to Angel a few days after, well, after," he explained.

She stayed quiet, so he went on.

"As soon as he opened the envelope, the amulet dropped out and I popped out too. Non-corporeal ghost. Bloody aggravating." He looked up at her and she silently signaled him to continue.

"The amulet had stored my soul, essence, whatever you want to call it. Fred, sweet girl, tried her bloody hardest to figure out how to get me a body. Few weeks later, the same bloke who sent the bauble sent me a package. Opened it and something went all sparkly and zappy, and I had my body back. Even bought a ticket to France to go and see you," he looked up at her as he said it and she locked eyes with him.

"And?" she prompted him.

"Decided it wouldn't look very heroic to show up after I saved the world. What was I gonna say to you? 'Hi Buffy, look, not dead, even though I went all crispy saving you.'" He looked down and kicked a rock with his boot.

"You decided? Don't you think I deserved some say in all this decision-making?" she said shakily. She wasn't sure she could make it through this without running. Instead she spat back at him,

"Do you even realize what the last six years were like for me?"

He was taken aback. So she was going to attack; well he would go on the defensive.

"Spending the last six years with The Immortal, if I'm not mistaken. Saw you with him when Angel and I came to Rome a few years back. You didn't look too broken up in that club, pet," he fired back, eyes blazing angrily.

"You saw me?" she asked.

"Yup, and Andrew told us the two of you played snuggle bunnies on the couch." She gasped. "That's why I told 'em not to tell you. I knew then I had to let you go and live your life and I had to live mine." He exhaled and stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets. "Besides, if something would have happened to me, you would still think I was dead," he mumbled.

She had composed herself enough to reply to his accusations.

"I haven't been with The Immortal the whole time. We broke up five years ago. I had to concentrate on training and bringing in new Slayers. Work has been the only thing keeping me sane. I haven't had a good night's sleep in, in," she choked up, "since that night before you..."Tears streamed down her face."I have nightmares every night. I see you and what you said to me repeats over and over in my head like a broken record and I can't save you," her voice cracked.

He could tell she wasn't lying. She was broken, hollow. He slowly walked up to the steps. The closer he got to her, the clearer he could see the deep purple half-moons under her eyes.

"Why didn't you believe me?" she cried, looking at him as he stood by the bottom step.

"Needed you to live, pet. Couldn't have you sacrifice yourself again. Dawn needed you, the little Slayers needed you; you had to live. It would have been selfish to keep you with me," he said gently, as he slowly ascended the steps.

She wiped away her tears angrily.

"You call this living? I have felt hollow the last six years. It's been even worse than when I was pulled out of heaven," she said angrily. Willow flinched beside her. "Sorry Wil, but you know what it's been like," she half-heartedly apologized to her friend.

"It's OK, I know. It has been pretty sucky," Willow shrugged. "I've taken to putting a silencing shield around her room after she goes to bed so she doesn't wake up the rest of us," she explained to him. Buffy looked at her quizzically.

"Why didn't you tell me? I could have moved out," Buffy said softly, looking down.

"Nah, it wasn't that much of a biggie. Besides, me and Tara made it part of our nightly ritual," she smiled as she said her girlfriend's name. She could take any amount of crap from Buffy now that she had Tara back. Buffy's wish had brought a light back into her life that she thought had been gone for good.

He reached the top step and stood just mere feet from her. He could smell her perfume and it was intoxicating. He was fighting the urge to wrap her up in his arms and tell her that everything would be all right. He stuffed his hands in his pockets again and gazed at her.

"I'm sorry, love, I really am. And I'm sorry I bollocksed up your life," he said apologetically.

She looked up and gazed into his beautiful blue eyes. Then she reached back, slugged him across the face and knocked him out cold.

Chapter 4

When he came to, he was cradling the left side of his face and his nose.

"Ow! Bloody hell woman! That hurt!"

He sat up and spat blood out onto the cement. "Guess I deserved it though," he said, wiping his mouth with the back of his arm.

When he looked up, he noticed he was alone, but he could hear Willow yelling after Buffy from the entrance to the hotel. He slowly got up and ambled into the hotel.

"Where'd she run off to, Red?" he asked the still yelling Willow.

"I don't know and she's mentally blocking me too," Willow said exasperated. She closed the front door and came back into the hotel. She plopped herself on the round couch in the lobby. "I guess I could do a locator spell," she said tiredly.

"Whaddya need?" he offered. He needed something to do, besides pacing the lobby.

"Hand me her bag," Willow instructed. Spike grabbed Buffy's bag and handed it to the witch. Willow closed her eyes and started murmuring. Within a few moments her eyes flew open and she yelled at him, "Beach. She's heading to a beach."

He looked at her. "A little more specific there, Red. It's sodding California. Most of the state is a beach," he said sarcastically.

She looked at him with a cockeyed grin. "I know that. Let me concentrate a little more." She closed her eyes again and reopened them just as quickly. "A Ferris wheel?" she asked.

He immediately knew where Buffy had gone to. "She's at the Santa Monica Pier. I'll bring her back," he said as he rushed out of the back of the hotel.

Willow called after him, "Duck next time!"


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He hopped onto his motorcycle and was quickly in pursuit of his prey. He took every shortcut he knew and was at the pier in 15 minutes. He parked his motorcycle and saw her sitting alone on the sand, absently watching the waves. He made his way down to the beach and sat down a couple of feet away from her. He snuck a sideways glance at her and could see her face was red and blotchy from crying.

"What are you doing here?" she sniffled.

He stifled a grin. "I've come to bring you back to the hotel," he said. "Fancy a motorcycle ride? Nice day for it," he gazed up at the brilliant blue sky.

She ignored him. He knew he had groveling aplenty to do.

"I've been coming out here to get some sun the last few weeks. Try and get some color. Been pasty for the last 130 years, figure I should ease myself back into the daylight. Even been thinking of taking up surfing."

She glanced at him, eyes narrowed. "Caught me. Never could be a surfer. Too bloody scared of the water." She turned her head back to gazing at the waves. He decided to employ a different tactic.

"Listen, pet, I don't know what else to tell you. I'm sorry. I know you're mad at me, but the past is past. Can't go back and change it. Wish I could." He gazed out at the ocean. He was hoping honesty would make her stop ignoring him.

She rolled to her knees to get herself closer to him. As he was gazing at the ocean, she placed her hand on his cheek. It felt warm and she could see he was slightly tanned. He turned his face to look at her fully. He reached for her free hand and placed it on his chest, covering it with his own hand. She closed her eyes as she felt his heartbeat for the first time. Uncontrollable tears leaked out from under her eyelids. He reached his free hand out to cup her cheek.

"I missed you so much," she whispered, opening her eyes to see his blue ones gazing at her lovingly. "Did you even miss me?" she asked. He looked at her in disbelief.

"Would I still be human if I didn't miss you?" he asked rhetorically. She looked at him quizzically.

"If I hadn't missed you, I would've found someone to turn me back since those poncy Powers wouldn't," he explained. "I missed you every bloody day, pet. Didn't have anyone to trade witty barbs with. Or have a decent spar with," he said smiling.

She finally cracked a smile and giggled. She took her hands from his cheek and chest and wiped her eyes.

"I must look like a mess," she said, embarrassed that he had to see her like this. She knew he had seen her at her worst, but it had been so long and so much had happened, he felt like a stranger. He took her chin in between his thumb and forefinger.

"You look beautiful, love," he said quietly, gazing into her eyes. She moved her hand back to his cheek. He tilted his head into her hand. She gazed into his eyes for what seemed like hours before he whispered,

"I should get you back to the hotel before Willow goes off her head." She smiled at him and accepted his offer to help her up. They walked in casual silence to the motorcycle. She hopped on the back and wrapped her arms tightly around his middle, resting her head against his shoulder. He kicked the bike into life and roared off in the direction of the hotel.

Willow was gone when they returned. She had scribbled a short apology to Buffy before popping herself back to Italy. She wasn't sure what kind of mood Buffy would be in when she returned to the hotel, but she didn't want to stick around and find out. Buffy's bag was still sitting on the couch in the lobby. She grabbed it after reading Willow's note.

"Well, guess I'm stuck here 'til my ride comes back. Any of those rooms have a bathtub?" she asked, gazing around the lobby, taking in the details of the room this time. Spike waved at the upper floors.

"Take your pick. First empty one you find is yours." Buffy started up the steps, but turned around and looked back at him. He had gone into Angel's office. He looked at her through the window, waved at her, and pulled the blinds closed. She turned around and continued up the stairs.

When she reached the hallway, she walked down to the end to find a room with a garden view. She tried one door; locked. The next door opened easily and as she stepped into it, she immediately knew it was his.

Leather duster draped over a chair, brown leather journal open on the bed, various clothes strewn on the floor. She picked up a blue t-shirt and inhaled. It smelled like him. She set her bag down on the floor and crossed over to the bed. A small picture frame stood on his nightstand. She picked up the frame and was shocked when her own smiling face looked back at her. The edges of the small picture were a little burned and the picture had several wrinkles like it had been folded and refolded countless times. He must have salvaged it from his "shrine" he had erected in his crypt all those years ago. Tears sprang to her eyes again.

She set the little picture back down on the nightstand and picked up the leather journal that lay on the bed. She leafed through the pages and found poetry; beautiful, haunting poetry. Poem after poem were all about the same thing: her. How much he loved her, how much he missed her, how his new life meant nothing if he couldn't have her. She lay down on the bed and continued to read until she couldn't fight the sleep her body desperately craved.

Chapter 5

"I know he's in a meeting, but I need to talk to him now. It's a sodding emergency," Spike yelled into the receiver.

The woman on the other end said in a clipped tone, "I'm sorry, sir, but he has asked not to be disturbed."

Spike rolled his eyes and beat the phone against his forehead.

"Listen, you daft cow, I know he's in a meeting with that ponce Angel, but I have to speak to both of them NOW!" He was getting frustrated with the overly efficient secretary.

"Please hold, sir," she said icily. The line went quiet for a few moments before he heard the clipped tones of the former librarian come on the line.

"This is Rupert Giles. What is it that is so bloody urgent?" Giles was annoyed that he had been interrupted. Spike didn't care. He needed to know what was going on and why Angel hadn't informed him of Buffy's visit.

"Watcher, it's me. Is Angel there with you?" Spike spoke quickly, equally annoyed at having been given the runaround by the secretary.

"Spike? Yes, Angel is here. Why are you calling? Is there something wrong?" Giles was starting to sound a little less annoyed and a little more concerned. "Yes, there is something wrong. Buffy turned up here and Captain Broody-Pants didn't see fit to tell me she'd be dropping by." Giles let out an exasperated sigh. "Let me get this straight – you harassed my secretary because Buffy showed up and you weren't told about it?" Giles sighed again.

"Yeah, that's about it," Spike responded, finally relieved that someone understood his distress.

"Listen Spike, this is really not a good time. Angel and I have been-" Spike cut him off.

"I really don't care what you were in the middle of; I want to know why she showed up out of the blue like that." Giles was really starting to get annoyed. "Spike, I don't have time for this –" Angel grabbed the phone then.

"Spike, I told her she and Willow were welcome to stay at the hotel. Gunn and Illyria were supposed to intercept them. You weren't even supposed to know she was there." Spike started to get even angrier now. He wasn't supposed to know? Why that cheeky bastard, Spike thought.

"You prat. You were going to just let her show up and never let her know I was here, weren't you?" He could hear Angel's smirk over the phone.

"Something like that. So how did it go anyways? Knock you unconscious, did she?" Spike was highly annoyed by this point.

"None of your business, you sodding git." Angel chuckled,

"I'm going to take that as a yes. Listen, she's there on a Slayer retrieval mission. She was only supposed to be there overnight and then she was heading back to Rome. I didn't think you'd even notice. You've been so preoccupied lately." Spike sighed, still annoyed at the vampire.

"Remind me to stake you when you get back," Spike retorted. "Listen William, Giles and I have a lot to get through tonight. I'll be back in a week with all your documents and then you can get out of my hair. Tell Buffy hi for me, will ya? That is, of course, if she's actually speaking to you," Angel laughed.

"Fine, take your bloody time. I've got nothing else to do," Spike slammed the receiver down.

"Bloody tosser," Spike muttered. He sighed and thought for a minute. Buffy was only supposed to be there overnight and then back to Rome. He sat down in the office chair to think over this new information. He reached into the lowest drawer and pulled out the bottle of scotch Angel kept there. He pulled out the glass next to it and poured himself a large amount of the amber liquid. In one deft gulp, it was gone and he was pouring himself another tumbler full.

Less than 24 hours and she'd be gone again. He wasn't sure he could let her go. Not now. Everything had changed. She was a wreck, he was human. The game had changed drastically from the last time he had seen her. Nothing stood between them anymore. Nothing that is except for her job as the Slayer and her retrieval missions. He paused for a minute. How many Slayers were there now? Couldn't someone else go on the retrieval missions? She wasn't the Chosen One anymore. She could retire if she wanted to...

He put the bottle and the glass back in the drawer. He needed to get out of the hotel. Groceries and time to think were what he needed. He grabbed some money from the safe in the office and headed out the front doors of the hotel to the local market.



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When she awoke, the room was much darker. She cracked open one eye and noticed that someone had closed the curtains. She sat up in the bed and stretched. The guitar had been placed in its stand against the wall and the sheets of handwritten music lay on the table.

Either he had been very quiet or she had been in a very deep sleep. She was grateful for a peaceful sleep. Was that all it would have taken to end her nightmares? Finding out he was alive? She got slightly annoyed. Six years of nightmares were gone in one afternoon. She got angry again as she walked into the bathroom and flipped on the light.

Her toothbrush was sitting by the sink along with toothpaste, face wash, a wash cloth and her hair brush. She glanced over to the tub and found a bottle a lavender bubble bath alongside her shampoo and conditioner. A little inflatable pillow was also stuck onto the tub. Her mood softened. She could get used to this kind of pampering.

She turned the faucet on in the tub and checked the temperature of the water. When it was sufficiently hot enough, she turned to the mirror to check her reflection. Her face was red and blotchy.

"Ugh," she moaned.

She picked up the toothbrush and started with her teeth. When she was done, she dampened the washcloth and washed her face. She was starting to feel slightly more human now. She inspected her face closely in the mirror. A few fine lines were starting to appear and it didn't seem like the bags under her eyes were ever going to go away. She turned away from the mirror and shut off the faucet in the tub. She undressed and slipped into the tub. She sighed contentedly as she let the warm water try and erase six years of tension that had built up in her muscles.

She wasn't sure how long she had been asleep, but a light knock on the door awakened her. The water had turned cold and the bubbles had all but dissipated. She shivered and drew her knees up to her chest.

"Yeah?" she called to the knocker. The door opened a crack.

"Just checking to make sure you were still alive. I've ordered some Chinese take-away, if you want some," Spike said.

Her stomach growled at the propect of food. She grabbed the towel next to the tub.

"Gimme a few minutes and I'll be right down," she answered. She heard him leave the room. She still had to wash her hair and get dressed. She quickly accomplished both and bounded down the hallway where the smell of food hit her as she approached the stairs. She raced down the stairs where he was waiting at the counter with food containers, drinks and chopsticks.

"Help yourself," he said, in between bites of food.

She grabbed a container and peeked inside. Chicken fried rice, one of her favorites. She picked up the chopsticks, hopped onto the counter and dug in eagerly.

"Drink?" he asked, offering her an opened beer.

"Thanks," she said, smiling. She hadn't realized how hungry she was. They ate in silence until the phone interrupted them. Spike grabbed the ringing phone. "Hullo?" he asked. Willow had called to check on how things were going. Spike handed the receiver over to Buffy who reassured Willow that her friend was not in major trouble and that everything was fine.

When Willow broached the topic of their morning retrieval mission, Buffy frowned. She had momentarily forgotten why she had come to California in the first place. She asked Willow if she could have another Slayer bring the girls in. Willow confirmed that Vi would be willing to go along and bring in the girls.

"Is there something wrong, Buffy?" Willow asked, genuinely concerned for her friend. Buffy sighed.

"Nothing is wrong. I am just taking a vacation. Only call if the world is ending, OK?" Buffy said perkily. Willow agreed and hung up. Buffy handed the phone back to Spike, who replaced the receiver back on the base with a grin.

Chapter 6

Buffy looked over at him after handing the phone back. She noticed his grin and decided to burst his bubble.

"Don't know why you're grinning there, Tony Robbins, I'm still mad at you," she said, concentrating on her food. His smile faded quickly and he clenched his jaw. "Look, pet, I've apologized. Not much more I can do here, unless you want to be a complete sadist and watch while I beat myself up some more."

He glanced over at her. She continued to eat her food in silence. He slammed his chopsticks down and stalked toward the stairs.

She looked up as he ascended the stairs. He didn't look back. If she was going to play games with him, fine, he'd play. He hastily packed up her things in his room and threw them on the bed in the room across the hall. Its contents scattered out onto the bed, but he didn't care. He went back to his room and slammed the door.

She hopped down from the counter and packed up the food. The small fridge by the office only held a single bottle of blood, so the leftover containers fit in with room to spare. As she was finishing cleaning up, she heard the distinctive sound of loud rock music emanating from upstairs.

She grinned deviously and decided to let him pout for awhile longer. She wanted to check out the hotel. Her self-tour first led her to Angel's office where ancient books and scrolls were spread out on his desk. She flipped through them and found a notebook filled with his handwriting. He had written down all of his visions and whether or not they had come to fruition or not. One page only had a few words written down on it: Spike = human. Not Shanshu.

"Hmmm, wonder what 'Shanshu' is?" she pondered aloud.

She was wondering what he hadn't written down about that particular vision. She mentally reminded herself to ask him when he returned. She left the office and found herself peeking into rooms along the narrow passageway off the lobby. She found the industrial kitchen and the former lounge. She marveled at its size and wondered what it had looked like back in its heyday.

Suddenly she heard the sound of thumping boots on the stairs. The boots stomped out of the hotel and she heard the roaring of a motorcycle. He had left her there alone. She knew she had upset him, but hadn't thought he'd actually leave. She just thought he'd pout for a little while and then he'd be OK. She slowly climbed the stairs. She reached the end of hallway and noticed the door to the room across from his was opened.

She peeked in and noticed her bag had been thrown onto the bed, its contents spilling out, and her dirty clothes had been tossed onto the floor. She frowned and entered the room, carefully closing the door behind her. She picked up her dirty clothes and laid them down on the bed next to her bag. When she had arranged everything, she ripped open the curtains to the room and opened the balcony doors. She sat cross-legged on the balcony and meditated. She sat there for a few minutes but couldn't concentrate. She got up and leaned against the railing, looking out at the neighborhood.

She heard a faint knock on the door across the hall and went to investigate it. She opened her door a crack and saw a tall, good-looking black man standing in front of Spike's door.

"He's gone. Don't know where he went," she said to him. He turned around, startled.

"Oh, hey. Figures, when I need him to go out patrolling, he takes off." He extended his hand to her. "I'm Gunn by the way. You must be Buffy. Angel said you'd be dropping by. Sorry I wasn't here earlier to meet ya. Got a little tangled up with an informant."

He grinned, remembering his negotiations with the demon he had been meeting with earlier in the day. She shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you. You mentioned patrolling?" She was itching for some good slayage.

"Yeah. We've been going out, doing the rounds. Checking to see if anymore Wolfram & Hart nasties are after us. There're still a few out there, but mostly underground or overseas." He leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms across his chest. "After five years you'd think they'd get the point and leave, but demons are dumb."

He chuckled lightly and looked up at her. He noticed the sadness in her eyes. "Are you OK?" he asked her. She shook her head lightly.

"Uh, yeah, I guess. Sorry, you were saying something about dumb demons?" He looked at her and cocked his head to the side.

"You're not fooling anyone, ya know? You wanna talk about it?"

She invited him into her room and sat on the bed. She clasped her hands and wouldn't look up at him.

"No one bothered to tell me he was back and I don't know how I feel about it and I'm really confused because I missed him but I'm also really angry at him right now and I know he still loves me but I'm not sure how I feel about him because I thought I loved him but that was when I thought he was dead," she blurted out quickly.

It took him a minute to process the jumble that had come out of her mouth. He put his arm around her and she leaned against him.

"A little confusing, huh? I get it. But you wanna know something about our boy? It didn't matter which hell dimension we went to, he always talked about you when we were relaxing after a fight. I remember the first big fight, after we brought down Wolfram & Hart. I was still getting used to the whole 'being a vamp' thing and he sat down next me with a pint of blood. He told me some stories about how the two of you fought together and how much he missed you. He showed me this ratty picture of you that he kept in his coat. He'd take the thing out when he didn't think anyone was looking."

He shook his head and chuckled. "I think I even heard him say 'good night' to it once. That boy is seriously in love with you. And now that we're human again," she turned around quickly to look at him.

"Yeah, I was helpin' him out when we ran into the Mohras. Both of us got turned back, which was alright by me. Couldn't have taken an eternity of Angel whining about his curse. And if you hadn't shown up when you did, I don't think I could have taken much more of angsty-boy's pacing. Ever since he found out there was a reason he was human, he's been wanting to get back to you." She looked at him, eyes slightly glistening.

"He's... he wanted to see me?" she asked quietly. He nodded his head.

"Oh yeah, bad. He's been drivin' Angel up the wall. One of the reasons boss man went to England. Get him his papers so he's all legal so he could get him out of here."

She grinned, thinking about how irritated Angel must be. He hated the fact that Spike loved her and must have been irate when Spike became human and could be with her in a way that Angel only wished he could. She remembered her conversation with Angel in the cemetery before Sunnydale became a crater about cookies and baking. Was she ready? It had been six years and she had shut herself off from feeling anything or growing emotionally during that time. Hearing what Gunn had to say had helped alot, but she had a lot of thinking to do about her cookie doneness before she could talk to Spike again.

Gunn noticed her sink into her thoughts. "Ya know what? I'm gonna go track him down and make sure he's not getting himself into trouble that he can't get out of." He got up and left the room, closing the door behind him.

She sat on the bed, letting her mind wander. How did she feel about him? Was it love or just a lust-thing like last time? No, not lust, she surmised. She had grown closer to him during their last months together, before her world went boom.

She lay down on the bed and curled up, wrapping her arms around herself. She had looked him in the eyes and told him she loved him. Did he refuse to believe her in order to keep her safe or was it because she hadn't given him a reason to believe her? She felt queasy from the tumult of emotions raging within her. So many questions swirled in her head. Did she truly love him? Could they have a 'real' life together?

She could have given up being the Slayer years ago, but a normal life would have driven her insane from the guilt that had been haunting her the last few years. She wasn't sure when she fell asleep but she awoke to the sound of thumping music across the hall.

She slowly arose from the bed, thinking about what she was going to say to him. She still wasn't sure, but she had to talk to him. She walked to the door, put her hand on the doorknob and stopped, thinking about what she was about to do. She opened her door and walked across the hall.

Chapter 7

She banged on the door several times before he finally heard her and shut the music off. He opened the door, beer bottle in one hand.

"Whaddya want now? I turned off the sodding music, if that's what you wanted." He took a swig from the bottle and continued to glare at her. She stood, crossing her arms in front of her, glaring right back.

"Can we talk? Or do the grown-up topics scare you?" Her eyes issued him a silent challenge. He waved her in and slowly shut the door behind him. He rested his forehead against the door before slowly turning around to face her. She had seated herself on the end of his bed, arms crossed and ready for a verbal smackdown with him. He took another sip from the bottle, emptying it. He set the empty bottle down on the table and pulled the chair next to it out, placing it in front her and plopped down.

"All right, Slayer, so talk." She was unprepared for this, but she wanted more answers. "When were you going to tell me you were alive? And I mean alive in the sense that you now have a beating heart and an expiration date and can get a tan without going all flame-y." He thought for a moment before responding.

"After Angel got back from visiting your Watcher in merry old England. They've got all my documents ready: birth certificate, passport, driver's license. As soon as I had that, I was planning on flying to Rome." He noticed her shocked expression that even Giles had known he was alive. Even her own Watcher had lied to her. Her jaw clenched and unclenched several times before she spoke again.

"So Giles knows too?" she asked slowly. He snorted.

"Just said that, didn't I?" She looked up and glared at him. He softened and apologized. A split second later, he changed his mind.

"I'm not the one who should be apologizing here, love. You're the one who's mad at me, remember?" She placed a hand on his knee.

"I know and I'm sorry, Spike, but you gotta admit, I have every right to be mad at you." She looked at him as she issued her semi-apology. He looked down at her hand before looking up to see her gazing at him. She continued, turning her gaze downward.

"It's just that the happy, jumpy part of me that is enormously overjoyed to see you is fighting with the furious, I mean like super mad-as-hell, Slayer. And I just keep thinking about how short life really is and how much of it I've wasted the last few years."

She paused, looking up to see him looking at her intently. She quickly looked back down at her hands.

"I have had a lot of time to think about how I treated you back in Sunnydale. Not to mention some of the horrible things I said to you. No wonder you didn't believe me when I told you that I loved you. I hadn't given you any reason to believe me. But," she looked up at him and saw that his blue eyes were starting to glisten, "I am so sorry for everything I put you through. You deserved so much better. You still do." He snorted and interrupted her apology.

"I didn't deserve bugger all then. I was a vamp. You should have dusted me when you had the chance. But it's too late now, pet. Staking me now'll make me bleed." He looked at her and noticed that a solitary tear had started to run down her face. He wiped it with away with his thumb and held her cheek in his hand. She looked up at him as he continued.

"I still love you. You'd have to be blind not to see that. I mean, bloody hell, I still have that charred little picture of you. That thing has been to hell and back, literally." She smiled, remembering what Gunn had told her earlier and she chuckled softly.

"I just need to know one thing, pet. I know you missed me, but I need to know if I'm wasting my time, 'cuz I don't have a lot of that now – time, I mean." He continued to look at her intently. She broke away from his gaze and looked down at her hands. He pulled his hand away from her cheek and held his hands together in between his knees while he awaited her response.

She knew this should be an easy question to answer, but since she had shut herself down from feeling anything so long ago, she was having a hard time recognizing any of the emotions that were currently wracking her brain. Even though she had had hours to prepare for this conversation, she still hesitated.

He stood up abruptly. He knew he had been wasting his time. He angrily marched toward the door and swung it open, gesturing her to leave. She looked up at him, teary eyed.

"I'm sorry, it's just that-" He cut her off.

"What? Still in love with Captain Forehead, are ya? Fine. He'll be back in a week. Til then, leave me be." He stood there, jaw clenched, tears stinging in his eyes.

She stood up and walked toward him. She placed a hand on his cheek and he turned his face away from her touch. She put her hands on either side of his face and forced him to look at her.

"I am not in love with Angel, you moron. You've always been a little slow, haven't you? You were back in Sunnydale before it went all kaplooey. You have been in my heart for the last eight years, not him. I was just too stupid to realize it."

"You said it, not me," he huffed. She looked into his eyes before she spoke again.

"I shut myself down from feeling anything after I lost you. Going through the motions, yet again. Except this time, I didn't have my Spike to help me through." He snorted again.

"So you just wanna use me again? Is that all I am to you? Well listen, Slayer, things have changed. I've changed. I'm not the same Spike you used and abused back in ol' Sunnyhell. I have feelings now, and-" She covered his mouth with her index finger.

"Let me finish, OK? I know you're different now; Spike is gone." He waved at her.

"Uh, still here pet. I haven't gone any-" She replaced the finger to his lips.

"No, I said Spike is gone; William is the one standing in front of me." She choked down the lump that was forming in her throat.

"You're not a vampire anymore. You're not evil. No more demon. You are kind and generous, totally devoted to me even though I really don't deserve it. And you still love me. I have beaten and berated you, but you're still here. Still standing in front of me." A tear escaped from his eye as she spoke. She wiped it away with her hand and cupped his cheek. "I love you, William, and I have missed you every single day. You have no idea the hell I've been through." The tears she had been trying to hold back finally broke loose and she started sobbing. He held her tight against him.

He was William now, not Spike. He hadn't thought of that until she said it. She was right of course. She always was.

"Bloody aggravating," he thought to himself. He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head until she had composed herself. She broke away from the embrace reluctantly to look up at him.

"I am so sorry for making you doubt me. But if you could just give me a chance, I know what we have is real and I-" He put his arm around her back and pulled her in for a kiss. Her hands shot up into his hair. It was soft and wavy, so unlike the bleached blond hair he used to have. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her even deeper into the kiss. His tongue worked to part her lips until he found her eager tongue waiting for him.

She could feel him harden against her hips. She unconsciously started to grind against him. He let out a low moan. She broke the kiss and started trailing small kisses up and down his neck and across his jawbone.

"Mmmmm, Buffy," he moaned. He moved in order to shut the door. Her hands had found the bottom of his t-shirt and were tugging it loose from his waistband. He suddenly felt her warm hands on his abdomen as she worked the shirt off of him. He let out another low moan as she began to trail kisses from his abs, working her way up his chest until she reached his waiting mouth.

He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her passionately for a moment before pulling away to gaze at her. Her lips were swollen from kissing and her cheeks had a healthy pink flush to them. She was so beautiful in that moment. Her eyes looked at him questioningly. "What's wrong?" she asked. He lowered his head and shook it, chuckling.

"Nothing, love. It's just that I have dreamed about this for a long time. Just never thought it'd happen is all. I just need to hear you say it again." He gazed at her. God, how he loved her. His heart felt full, complete. No longer did he feel like he was missing a part of himself; she made him whole. She smiled at him.

"I love you, William. I am really, truly, completely in love with you. I'm not cookie dough anymore; I am finished baking and am ready to be with you for the rest of our lives." He looked at her quizzically.

"Cookie dough?" She giggled.

"I'll tell you later. It's a long story. Now will you just shut up and kiss me already." He obliged her by scooping her up in his arms and kissing her until he reached the bed. He set her down on the bed and she started to undo his belt buckle and jeans. He stroked her hair as she wrestled with the leather strap.

He wanted to make love to her, but he also didn't want to rush her. He cupped her chin and tilted her head up so she was looking at him.

"We don't have to rush into anything, ya know? If you want to take it slow, I'm OK with that. I just want you to be sure this is what you want." She moved onto her knees to face him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, resting them on the nape of his neck.

"Are you scared, William? Is that what's going on? Scared I'm gonna leave you? Or that I'm gonna use you again? Not a chance. I will scream it from the balcony or from the roof of this hotel that I love you. Will that convince you that I'm serious?" He smiled at her.

"Of course not, pet. I just – It's just that I have dreamt about you saying you loved me and meaning it for so long that I don't want to be horribly disappointed if this is a dream and I wake up in hell, still a vamp. You have no idea how happy I was to see you this afternoon. You said you'd been through hell, well pet, I've been through it literally. There were nights that I missed you so much I would take out that little picture I had of you and talk to it. Pretending you could hear me was the only thing that kept me sane."

Chapter 8

He gazed into her eyes and stroked her hair. He had been wrestling with a question he wanted to ask her since she had told him she loved him, again. He thought about it even more now that he was gazing at her lovely face. He broke away from her and went to the dresser, opening the top drawer. He rummaged around until he found the small velvet box he had hidden there several weeks ago, hoping for a moment like this. He closed the drawer and turned around, noticing her confused expression. He hid the box behind his back and sauntered back to the bed.

"Close your eyes and hold out your hands," he directed. She looked at him, head tilted.

"What are you doing?" she asked slyly. He grinned the sly grin that always drove her nuts.

"Just do as I asked, wouldja?" he pleaded. She did as he requested, smiling. He placed the small box in her waiting hands and then told her to open her eyes. She opened her eyes and they immediately went to the small box. She took a sharp intake of breath and started trembling as her fingers tripped over each other as she tried to open the little box. He lowered himself to one knee and spoke.

"I have loved you for so long. The thought of coming back to you was the only thing that kept me going all these years. And then accidentally – well, I guess not accidentally if I'm to believe Captain Forehead – becoming human made me realize that a real human life isn't really a life if you don't have someone to share it with." Her hands were shaking and she hadn't been able to gain entry to the box. He took the little box out of her hands and opened it, revealing a beautiful antique white gold and platinum engagement ring with a baguette cut diamond in the center and a beautiful tulip design on the sides set with four brilliant cut claw set diamonds. Her hands flew to her mouth and she gasped. He took the ring out of its box and looked up at her, smiling.

"Buffy, you pierce my soul. You are the only one who ever has, even when I didn't have one. And you are the only one that I want to share my life, my bed and my whole self with. Will you marry me?"

She was still shaking and tears were starting to streak her face. She took her hands away from her mouth and reached out to touch the glistening ring with one hand. With her other, she reached out to touch his cheek. He leaned into her touch and watched her as she gingerly touched the ring. She seemed entranced by the ring and could only whisper, "Yes."

He closed his eyes and shook his head quickly, unsure if he had heard correctly.

"Speak up a bit, pet. What did you say?" She came to her senses finally and looked at him fully in the eyes.

"My answer is yes! I will marry you William. You have no idea how many times I've wanted to hear you ask that question. A million times yes! I will be Mrs. – wait, what is your last name now anyway?"

A smile started to spread across his face and he laughed.

"My full name is now William Albert Preston-Hughes. I know. Sounds a little poncey to me too. But, I figured if I wanted to become an author, I needed a poncey sounding last name." She smiled at him.

"Well, Mr. Preston-Hughes, would you please put that very pretty ring on my finger?" He took her left hand and slid the ring on her finger easily. It was a perfect fit. She kept switching her gaze from her hand to him and back again, a large smile filling her face. She finally looked back at him and reached her arms out to hug him, smothering his face with kisses.

He took it all in – her kisses, the way she smelled, her touch. She was his now – forever. She was going to marry him. His heart leapt again. Buffy, his Buffy, was going to be his wife. He didn't want to wait any longer. He wrapped his arms around her and starting kissing her, lightly at first, then more passionately. She responded by running her hands up and down his bare back, resting them finally in his wavy hair. He rose from his knee and she leaned back until she was lying on her back on the bed. He slowly lowered himself onto her. Her hands made contact with his jeans and worked to push them off his hips. His hands slid up her shirt, gently moving it up and over her head. Next, came her jeans. He straddled her and fumbled with the button for a minute before she came to his assistance and unbuttoned the top button. He unzipped the unruly jeans and slid them off, caressing her soft legs as he did so.

He gently grabbed one leg and started trailing kisses from her ankle to her inner thigh. She squirmed with pleasure. He looked up at her devilishly as he started kissing the soft skin of her belly and worked his way up to her mouth. Her tongue found his easily and pulled him into an intensely passionate kiss. His hands roamed freely up and down her leg, brushing his fingertips along her inner thigh. She could feel his hardness press up against her and she ached to have him inside of her. His hand found the clasp of her bra and deftly unhooked it. His free hand cupped her breast and massaged her nipple lightly until it hardened under his touch. He broke from their kiss and turned his attention to her breasts. He licked and sucked first one nipple, then the other. Her eyes were fluttering and she could feel her muscles start to pulsate in her groin. She moaned lightly. He looked up at her and gave her a cockeyed smiled. He continued with his licking and kissing and proceeded back down her stomach until he reached the top of her underwear. He hooked his thumbs under the silky fabric and shimmied it down until it was hanging onto one ankle. She kicked lightly and they landed on the floor.

He leaned back on his knees to take in her naked form lying in front of him. He hadn't been able to do this back in Sunnydale; she never would have let his gaze linger over her nakedness for more than a few seconds before. But everything was different now. She looked at him lovingly, hazel eyes gleaming and her golden hair surrounding her like a halo on the pillow. She was his angel. She sat up and pulled him down on top of her, whispering in his ear, "I want you to make love to me, William. I need you. I want you."

Not one to make a lady wait for anything, he slipped his boxer briefs off and lowered himself onto her again. Her legs parted to wrap around him as he used a hand to guide his throbbing erection into her. She gasped lightly when he entered her. He looked at her, concerned that he may have hurt her. She smiled at him and touched his face.

"I'm OK," she said softly. "I just haven't been with anyone since you." He looked at her confused.

"What about –" She cut him off.

"I didn't sleep with him. I couldn't." She twined her fingers in his hair and pulled his forehead toward hers.

"I didn't want anyone but you, William," she whispered as he started thrusting into her. He captured her mouth with his and continued his slow thrusting. He could feel her muscles contracting around his erection. He started thrusting a little faster and she threw her head back, letting him have access to her neck. He trailed kisses from her jawline down to the hollow at the base of her throat. Her hands tugged in his hair to pull him up to her face. Her teeth tugged at his bottom lip until she was able to suck it in. His tongue responded by exploring the inside of her waiting mouth. His pace quickened as he felt her muscles constricting him. She was going to climax soon and he wasn't sure how much longer he could last. He continued his thrusting, quicker now. She broke away from their kiss to look upon his face. Her legs wrapped around him even tighter. As she felt herself climaxing, she couldn't hold back the scream that had worked itself up from her depths.

"Oh God! William! William!" As she screamed his name, he felt his control crumble and his body start to pulsate. He wasn't able to hold back any longer and came inside of her, filling her up.

Their sweaty, gasping bodies stayed locked together, not wanting to separate. He panted and gazed down at his beautiful angel, wiping strands of hair off of her sweaty brow. He couldn't help but kiss her. She caressed his face. He rolled off of her reluctantly, landing on his side so he could face her. She continued to caress his face and gaze into his sparkling blue eyes. Suddenly her brow furrowed and her eyes started shifting.

"What's wrong, pet?" he inquired.

She said slowly, "Not sure. Were you using protection?" He thought for a minute – the condoms he had purchased when he went to the drugstore to buy her bubble bath were still in his drawer, unopened. He rolled onto his back.

"Bollocks!" he moaned, slapping his hand against his forehead. She propped herself up on the pillow with one hand.

"That would be a no then?" She smiled at him as he rolled over to look at her. Her eyebrows were raised and a coy smile played on her lips.

"I even bought the blasted things, not that I knew this was going to happen, but just to be prepared in case it did, ya know? Bugger all. Buffy, I'm sorry love." He reached his hand out to touch her cheek. She smiled at him.

"It's OK, Will. But if I end up pregnant, you better have a plan on how to support us, mister, 'cuz I have no job skills. Unless you count killing demons and herding teenage girls. Then, I'm a pro." He laughed, glad she wasn't angry with him.

"As a matter of fact, I do have a plan. I am writing my memoirs. 'The Adventures of Spike, Gentleman Vampire.' I figure with the whole undead craze going on now, I'd cash in. Of course I'm not going to tell the publisher it's a memoir. And I have changed some of the names of the innocent and not so innocent so as to avoid having my new life ended prematurely." She giggled. She loved him so much that it really didn't matter if she ended up pregnant or not. Although, she would be ecstatic if she found out she was carrying their child. Her retirement had started the moment he proposed to her and she planned on making the most of it.

Chapter 9

She bolted up in bed, startling him.

"What is it, pet?" She looked over at him, smiling.

"I have to go call Dawn!" She threw the covers off and hopped out of bed. She quickly threw on her clothes and raced downstairs to call her sister. He stayed in bed, shaking his head at the crazy woman he was going to marry. He slowly rolled out of bed and started searching for his discarded clothing. When he was fully dressed, he descended the stairs and heard happy shrieking coming from Angel's office. She spied him through the window and waved for him to come into the office. He paused in the doorway and leaned up against the door frame. "Yeah, he's right here. Let me put you on speaker." She pressed the button to place her sister on speakerphone. He hopped up onto the desk.

"Hey there, bit. Taking care of yourself, I hope?" he called into the speaker. He could barely make out the excited shriek that emanated from the speaker.

"Did you really ask my sister to marry you? For real, I mean?" The happy couple glanced at each other.

"Yes, bit, I did. And can you believe she actually said yes?" More happy shrieking emanated from the phone.

"Oh! My! God! Have you told Giles yet, Buffy?" Dawn asked excitedly. Buffy sighed, thinking about her Watcher. Of course she needed to call him.

"No, I haven't. I wanted to call you first. I should probably let you go so I can call him. Promise me, under no circumstances are you to call Willow and Tara." Dawn promised and the sisters said their goodbyes. Buffy paused, hand hovering over the buttons.

"I don't know why this is so hard. I mean, he's gonna be happy, isn't he? That I'm finally going to have a normal life." She looked up at him, her face troubled. He turned the phone toward him and punched in the numbers. He raised the receiver to her ear so she could hear the double ring. The overly pleasant secretary answered in a tired sounding voice. As soon as Buffy identified herself, she was connected immediately.

"Buffy? What's wrong?" Giles asked, concerned. Buffy let out a long breath. She thought it might be easier to temper the news of her engagement by announcing her retirement first.

"I have decided to retire, Giles. I haven't had a life of my own for, well forever. So I am going to – " He cut her off.

"Spike proposed, didn't he?" A confused look crossed her face.

"How did you know?" she asked slowly.

"I thought as much. I knew as soon as I received his call earlier today about why he hadn't been informed of your trip to California that he'd propose to you when the time was right. I just assumed it would take a week or so. At the very least, I thought he'd wait until Angel was on the ship back to Los Angeles and not sitting here in my office crushing very expensive furniture." His tone grew irritated, not at her, but toward the angry vampire that sat in his office. She heard a voice snarl in the background. William heard it too and beamed. His grand-sire was good and pissed and he couldn't be happier.

Not only had he won Buffy, but chances were good they had just conceived a child. He couldn't wait until the brooding beast came back. Even if Angel left London now, it would still take him over a week to get back to L.A. Plenty of time for him and his bride-to-be to have enough alone time. He was snapped out of his reverie at the sound of Buffy snapping her fingers in front of his face. "Hey, space boy. Wake up." She was smiling at him. "Well aren't we looking all pleased with ourself? You do realize that we need to look for a place to live now, don't you? Angel's not gonna want either of us here when he gets back from London." He thought for a minute and shrugged.

"Well, you still have that villa in Rome, don't ya? We could stay there until I become a famous wealthy author." He grinned at her, pleased with his idea.

"Speaking of the villa, I think a well-timed wake-up call is in order," she said, smiling devilishly. She picked up the phone and punched in the phone number for the villa. A very tired sounding Tara picked up the phone.

"He-hello?" Tara yawned.

"Tara, it's Buffy. Can you get everyone to the phone?" She knew it was early, but at least this would be a bit of happy to start the day off with.

"Are you OK? Did something happen?" Tara asked, concerned. Buffy giggled. "Everything is just fine. Just get Willow and Xand, OK?" Tara set the phone down and woke up a concerned Willow and a grumpy Xander. Buffy heard Xander's voice first.

"This had better be good or else I'll learn how to teleport and wake her up in the middle of the night." Buffy giggled again, looking up at her fiancé. She engaged the speakerphone so he could hear the grumblings of her friends.

"OK, Buff, we're all here. So what's so important it couldn't wait until the sun came up?" Xander grumbled. William laughed.

"Missing your pillow already, Harris?" he asked.

"Sp-Spike?" Xander stuttered. Buffy glared at him before speaking.

"Actually, he's not Spike anymore; he's William. He had a little run-in with a demon and he's human now." Tara spoke next, excitedly.

"Human? Is that your big news Buffy?" Buffy smiled.

"Not exactly." She took a deep breath. She knew the girls would be excited, but Xander had never been a fan of Spike and probably wouldn't be a big fan of William.

"Buffy? What is it?" Willow asked, slightly worried. She decided she should just go for it and tell them.

"I'm getting married!" she blurted into the speakerphone. Dead silence was the reaction on the other end. Silence was not good. "Uh, guys. Ya still there?" Willow spoke first.

"Yeah, Buffy, we're still here. We're just, uh, a little, well –" Tara interrupted, "We're just surprised. So you and Spike, I mean William, are getting married?" Xander spoke up next.

"Hold on a minute. He's human for like five seconds and you suddenly decide you want to marry that lunk? You didn't do another spell, did ya Willow?" Buffy laughed.

"I love him, what can I say. He's human now and he's what I want." William beamed. She was telling her friends how much she loved him and wanted to be with him. Life really wasn't going to be the same.


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After Buffy had made plans for her friends to visit to celebrate her engagement, the happy couple sat talking in the office for a while longer. Gunn came back from patrolling and heard voices in the office. He ducked his head inside the office to see who was still up. He smiled when he saw Buffy sitting in the office chair, beaming from ear to ear.

"Gunn!" she cried, holding up her left hand. "Look what he gave me!" Gunn matched her grin.

"I know. He showed it to me after he bought it. Congratulations. Set a date yet or gonna go to Vegas?" William turned around to look at him.

"We are gonna do this right. No quickie Vegas wedding for my bride, right love?" He looked at Buffy, who nodded in agreement.

"Nope. We are going traditional with our wedding. I want bridesmaids, the dress, lots of flowers, and a church." William looked at her quizzically.

"A church? I may be human now, but I still can't stand crosses. Things give me the willies." She looked him in the eyes, expression stern.

"Yes, a church. It doesn't have to be a big one." Gunn laughed at them. He wondered if things had turned out differently if he and Fred would have argued about wedding planning like this. Or if Fred and Wes would have... He shook his head. No sense thinking about things that would never be. He walked up the stairs to his room, leaving the couple to argue about the finer details of their wedding.


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Before Giles had even hung up the phone, Angel was out of the building. He wouldn't be returning to L.A. Not now. Spike would have to get his papers from someone else. The sun would be up shortly, so he found an abandoned building and went to work covering up windows. There were plenty of places in Europe he could go. People here in London were sure to need help of some kind. He had been furious when the Oracles told him of the hidden prophecy concerning Spike. But he was certain he'd be able to stop it from coming true. Unfortunately, Giles had already known about the prophecy and had delayed him in London just long enough for Buffy to discover her former lover was now human. He wanted his Slayer to lead a normal life for once. He had observed from a distance her descent and the shell she had become. She put on a brave face for everyone, but he knew the pain she felt, the guilt. If he had a chance to grant her a normal life, he was damned if some jealous ex-boyfriend was going to stop him.

Giles took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. He had been working all night and needed sleep. He gathered up his coat and briefcase and walked out of his office. His secretary was dozing at her desk.

"Anna?" he said gently, tapping her on the shoulder. She snuffled lightly and looked up at him. "Take the day off and go home. I doubt he's ever coming back, so I will just have to send the documents with someone else." She gathered up her things and left the office with him, parting ways at the street.

Chapter 10

The happy couple ascended the stairs, hand in hand, happily discussing what kind of wedding they'd like. When they reached the end of the hall, he reached for the doorknob to his room. She broke her hand away from his and opened the door to her room. He looked at her, confused.

"Uh, pet, the bed is this way." She went into her room and ignored him, packing her belongings up. He leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed in front of him.

"What're you doin'?" She turned around, bag in hand.

"Packing," she stated. He dropped his arms and walked into the room.

"Yeah, I can see that. Why?" he asked, slightly panicked. She stopped her packing and noticed his wild eyes. She walked over to him and took his hands in hers.

"I am packing because I'm not staying in this room – I'm staying in your room." She pecked him on the cheek and continued her packing. He let out a sigh of relief. He was very ready for this day to end and was hoping tomorrow would be less of a rollercoaster. She finished her packing and sat down on the bed. He sat down next to her, putting his arm around her.

"Something wrong, love?" he asked. She turned to look at him.

"Nope, nothing's wrong. For once, everything is right. I just – I was thinking about everything that's happened today. How quickly everything's happened. Finding out you're alive, then you proposing, and now me retiring. It just feels like things that should have taken a couple of years to happen just – Boom! - happened in one day. But then, I have been waiting for six years for my life to start. I just don't want to waste one more minute."

She reached out and placed her hand on the back of his head and leaned in for a kiss. He tightened his grip around her and pulled her closer to him. She interpreted his tighter grip as an invitation to lie down. She leaned back on the bed, bringing him with her. The only time they broke their kiss was to remove various articles of clothing. As he removed her underwear, he placed gentle kisses along her inner thigh and continued until he reached her ankle.

She moaned softly as his soft lips made contact with her inner thigh. She ached to have him inside of her again. She knew they should be more careful when they made love again, but protection be damned. She wanted to get pregnant with their child. Every cell in body was screaming to become a wife and mother now that the only man she wanted to be with was back in her life and wanted to be with her too.

His gaze caught hers and she silently pleaded with him to quit teasing her and join their bodies together again. He obliged by slipping himself into her tight, wet groin. He moaned softly. It felt like coming home, being inside of her. He began to thrust, slowly at first then more quickly as her muscles started contracting. Her fingers twisted in his hair as she kissed him deeply and explored his mouth with her tongue. Her screams of ecstasy were muffled by their kiss. As he thrust into her several more times, he lost all control and exploded inside of her as she reached orgasm. Their joint climaxes rattled the bed and he could hear it creak slightly. When all of his seed had been expelled, he broke their kiss and they both looked at each other, panting. He was still holding up her hips with his hand, letting their muscles complete their pulsating before letting her down. He rolled onto his back and she snuggled up against his chest, arm holding onto him. When their breathing had slowed enough to speak, he looked down at her. He broke the silence first.

"You do know the condoms were in the other room, don't you? Not my fault this time, pet." She kissed his chest and looked up at him.

"I know. Don't want 'em." He looked at her, puzzled.

'What do you mean 'don't want 'em'?" She propped herself up on her hand to look at him in the eyes.

"I don't want to use them." She smiled at him. "I want to have a baby. Our baby. And I want to marry you and I want to start living. No more demons, no more patrolling. I want to be a wife and mother."

She looked at him, eyes sparkling. She was being honest with him and she wasn't quite sure how he was going to react. He leaned and kissed her deeply. His hand moved to her abdomen, gently touching the soft skin.

"Well then, should we keep practicing or do you think the little bit has already taken hold in there?" She smiled broadly at him and reached out to pull him on top of her again.

They made love several more times throughout the night, finally passing out from sheer exhaustion near dawn. Her body was thirsting for him and couldn't get enough. She was sure she was ovulating and that might explain part of her horniness, but it was also because he was the best lover she'd ever had.

He was gentle, but he also knew how to thrust into her enough to drive her wild with desire. He was her drug and she was addicted. She awoke, startled at first, but then calmed down when she felt his arm tighten around her. She squirmed around to face him and his sparkling blue eyes met her hazel ones.

"Mornin' love," he yawned. She smiled at him.

"Morning. Just checking to make sure this wasn't a dream. I was just afraid I was going to wake up in Rome and you wouldn't be there." He stroked her hair.

"I was just thinking the same thing. Except instead of Rome, I was hoping I wasn't back in hell." She brushed his cheek with her fingers, her engagement ring catching the sunlight and sparkling. She broke into a broad smile.

"Nope, definitely not hell. So what do you want to do today, Mr. Preston-Hughes?" His hand had moved to tracing the outline her body was making under the sheet.

"Mmmm. I'm not sure, Ms. Summers. What would you like to do today?" As he asked, her stomach growled loudly. She chuckled.

"Well I think food should be first on the list." He pulled her toward him and she felt his hardness against her thigh.

"Are you sure you don't want some morning exercise, kitten?" He started kissing her neck, working his way up to her mouth. She started kissing him deeply when her stomach let out another loud growl. She broke the kiss and chuckled again.

"I think somebody's hungry. You don't want to starve your son or daughter, do you?" she asked jokingly. He shook his head, resigned to the fact that more lovemaking would have to wait.

"No, I don't want the nibblet to starve. I just want to make his mummy scream and moan again." She looked at him sternly. "Fine," he conceded, rolling out of bed. "Let's go get you and the bit some breakfast."

She hopped out of bed, gathering up her clothes and her bag. She reached the door and opened it a crack to check down the hallway. With the coast clear, they snuck across the hall and back to his room.

Showered and dressed, they descended the stairs and were greeted by Willow and a mountain of luggage. She spotted the happy couple and rushed to hug her friend.

"Whatcha doing here, Wil?" Buffy asked the overly happy redhead. Her friend broke the hug and reached for Buffy's left hand to admire the engagement ring.

"I thought you might need your clothes and stuff. And I couldn't wait to see the ring. I mean, wow! This thing is beautiful. Blinding even." She looked at William. "Good job on the jewelry picking, buddy," she said, landing a friendly punch on his shoulder. William grinned.

"As long as she doesn't decide to chuck it at my head, I think we're ok." Buffy turned to him and swatted his arm.

"There will be no chucking of this ring. It's too pretty to use as a weapon." She turned her hand to admire the ring. Willow looked at her friend and all she could see was happiness. She looked at William, who was looking at Buffy, and saw a man totally in love. It made her heart happy to see Buffy finally happy and with a man who had loved her for so long.

"Well, I need to get going. Oh, by the way, your papers are in the front pouch of the big suitcase, William. Giles had me bring them since Angel took off." Buffy looked at her friend, concern growing on her face.

"What do you mean, 'took off'? Where did he go?" Willow shrugged.

"Not sure. Giles said Angel tore out of the building while he was on the phone with you last night. No idea where he went or if he's coming back." Buffy furrowed her brow. She hoped he wouldn't do anything stupid, but she knew he was upset. William put his arm around her.

"He's a big vampire; he can take care of himself. He's just gone off to pout for awhile." She looked up at him, catching his smirk before it left his face. Willow could see an argument brewing and quickly said her goodbyes. Buffy spun around to face him after her friend had left.

"Ya know, this whole 'I won the big prize and you didn't' attitude – really not sexy." She placed her hands on her hips and glared at him. He rolled his eyes. "Listen, love, there is something about the whole prophecy about me being human that he's not telling us. And I have a gut feeling that it has to do with you. That's why he's gone off – he couldn't stop whatever it was from happening and now he's gone to pout about not getting his way." She remembered the journal entry she found in Angel's office last night and thought there had to be more to it. She made a mental note to call Giles later and ask him what he knew about it. But Giles and the prophecy would have to wait until after breakfast. Her stomach let out another low growl as they hopped onto the motorcycle and she was hoping the diner he was taking her to was close by because she was in serious need of food after their marathon sex session.

Chapter 11

During breakfast, their conversation turned to what each had been doing in the intervening years. He told her what the different hell dimensions were like and she told him about the slayer training academy in Rome, Dawn getting into Cambridge to study history and eventually becoming a Watcher, and the worldwide distribution of all of the other Slayers. When she told him about the wish she had been granted, he was pleased she hadn't wasted it on him. Tara had been a vital member of the group and an even more vital member of Buffy's little family. She deserved to be resurrected; he hadn't. When he asked her what had happened between Kennedy and Willow, Buffy bristled.

"Kennedy was hurt, but not surprised. She took off. I think she's somewhere in Brazil. I haven't heard from her for awhile. It's probably better that way."

When she grew quiet, he reached for her hands. She looked down at his hands grasping hers and she looked up into his eyes. He looked at her quizzically.

"What's wrong love?" he asked. She thought for a few moments, looking down at his hands and then back to his questioning blue eyes.

"I want to see it." He cocked his head and looked at her again.

"See what, love?" She looked down at his hands again and spoke softly.

"I want to go see the crater. See what's left. Pay my respects to those who didn't make it out. Toss a coin in the fountain. I don't know." He looked down at their joined hands and could feel her grip tightening. He spoke just as softly.

"OK, then. When do you want to leave?" She looked up at him and smiled slightly.

He paid the bill and they left the restaurant. As the motorcycle roared to life, she wrapped her arms around him and inhaled the smell of his cologne. She mindlessly watched as the scenery changed around them. She closed her eyes and let the wind whip past her face. After awhile, she felt the motorcycle decelerate. She opened her eyes and began to recognize the landscape, although the military blockade was a new sight. The motorcycle slowed and then came to a stop. William put the kickstand down and nodded to the guard. The guard glared at the two of them and leveled his weapon at them.

"Hands in the air and state your business," he barked. Buffy hopped off the motorcycle and slowly put her hands in the air. She started walking up to the guard, who ordered her to stop before he opened fire. She glared at him.

"Tell your boss that Buffy Summers is here and wants to take a look at her home, or what's left of it." The guard continued to glare at her. She glared right back.

"Well? I'm waiting. Listen, if Agent Riley Finn is anywhere within range, tell him I'm here and that I want to go into the destruction zone." The young guard spoke in hushed tones into his communication unit. Within moments, a black Humvee pulled up next to the barricade. A slim figure clad in black stepped out of the vehicle. She took off her sunglasses to look at the intruders. Sam Finn chuckled as she saw who was waiting for her.

"I never thought I'd see you again, Buffy. How are ya?"

Buffy stared at her, mouth agape. Sam grinned as she walked toward the couple. She extended her hand to William.

"Sam Finn. And you are?" Sam didn't recognize him now that he was human. He wasn't sure if he should be flattered or offended. He thought he had been memorable enough as a vampire for anyone to recognize him, no matter the hair color or slightly tanned skin. He shook the proffered hand anyway.

"William Preston-Hughes," he said, internally chuckling at his poncey sounding name. As she shook his hand, she cocked her head, vaguely recognizing the voice and features of the man standing in front of her. Slowly, her eyebrows went up and her eyes went wide in recognition.

"No way! It can't be! You're a vampire! You're Spike!" Buffy finally awoke from her shock and grasped his hand.

"Yup, the one and only. Although, he is recently human, so he's going by a less conspicuous name now." Sam took a minute to process the fact that Spike was human, got over it, and asked the couple how she could help.

"I want to see the crater. Say goodbye once and for all." She wasn't sure how Sam was going to react. It sounded crazy, even she knew that. She had barely escaped with her life so what would make a person want to come back to this place six years later? Sam pursed her lips and shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Buffy, but there's nothing left. I can't let you in." Buffy was taken aback at the denial of entry to her former home.

"I know there's nothing left, but I still want to go back in for one last look." Sam shook her head again.

"You don't get it. There's no crater anymore. Our team has been stationed here for the last six years moving earth and pretty much remaking the coastline. We've been getting rid of any evidence Sunnydale was ever here." Buffy deflated at the news that the remains of her home were now underwater. She thanked Sam and had turned around to walk back to the motorcycle when Sam called out to her.

"Should I tell Riley you said hi?" Buffy turned around and yelled back.

"Sure, that'd be nice. Oh, and tell him that I'm engaged to Spike and that it's not a joke this time around." Sam looked slightly confused, but smiled and waved before climbing into the waiting SUV.

"So, soldier boy knew about our previous engagement, did he?" William chuckled, remembering the spell Willow had inadvertently unleashed on them. Buffy laughed lightly and grinned.

"Yeah, he does. He caught me window shopping at the bridal store that was near the magic shop. I had to play quick cover-up the next day at school. He knew I had to be joking. Engaged to a guy named Spike? It sounded totally fake." He looked at her and glared. She decided to play innocent.

"What? Well at the time it did." They climbed onto the motorcycle.

"I could just leave you here, ya know?" he said as the motorcycle roared to life. She pouted. "You wouldn't." He grinned. He couldn't, but he wanted her to believe he could.


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They returned to the hotel a couple of hours later, exhausted from the trip. They began ascending the stairs, hand in hand, when the phone at the desk began ringing. They were going to let the machine pick it up when she heard her sister's voice. Buffy ran down the stairs and picked up the receiver before her sister hung up.

Dawn had wanted to plan an engagement party for them, but would need some time to get everything together. The party was set for the next month in the Hyperion's expansive ballroom. Making the ballroom suitable for people would take a few weeks, and Buffy knew they had their work cut out for them. But she was certain they could do it; as long as they could keep their hands off of each other long enough to clean.

He had perched himself on the counter while she was talking to Dawn. As he listened to the excited planning, he was suddenly struck with an idea. He headed into Angel's office to use the other line. He was hoping Lorne would be at his club because he had a sudden need to get published. The line rang several times before the chirpy voice of the green demon answered.

"Salus! How may I help you?" Lorne asked cherrily.

"Lorne, how are ya, mate?" William asked, smiling. He missed the jolly green demon.

"Well, bless my biscuits! Spike? I thought you were still raining a heck full of, well, heck on the underworld. What are you doing top-side?" Lorne asked his friend.

"You didn't hear? Gunn and I ran into some Mohra demons a couple months back and lost. I guess lost isn't the right word, is it? Anyway, me and him are human now," William explained.

"I keep my horns out of anything even slightly icky and fight related. And of course I didn't hear anything. I have spoken to An-," Lorne stopped himself. "I haven't talked to him for six years and I'm fine and dandy keeping it that way. But I have a feeling you didn't call just to tell me about your newfound cure to your sun allergy. What's shakin'?"

William explained to his friend about his desire to be a published author and promised to send off a copy in the morning. Lorne promised he would call a few of his contacts in the publishing world. It made it much easier now that he was in New York, hub of all things book related. Lorne ended the call by promising he would call after he spoke to his contacts.

"Oh, and there's one more thing I should probably tell you Lorne," William interjected before they hung up.

"What's that kitten?" Lorne asked, intrigued.

"Do you remember Buffy?" William asked slowly.

Lorne started at the name. She was the infamous ex-girlfriend of both Angel and Spike. Hard girl for anyone to ever forget."Of course I remember Buffy. What's up, lollipop?"

William smiled, noticing he had an audience. Buffy was standing in the doorway, arms crossed in front of her, grinning broadly. He grinned back at her.

"Well she and I are getting married. I just thought you should know," William said happily. He had to hold the receiver away from his ear as his friend hooped and hollered at the good news. Buffy giggled.

"Let me know if you two crazy kids need help. I am a whiz with the party planning. Oh! You could get married out here and you could have the reception at the club! I can just picture it! Lots of twinkly lights and -," William cut Lorne off mid-planning.

"If you could make it out for the engagement party, we might have a better idea of what we want then, alright?" William told him he'd call when he knew more about the details, explaining that he had to check with the little woman and his future sister-in-law about all the particulars. They hung up and William sat for a moment with his hand on the receiver, grinning and shaking his head.

"So what was that all about?" Buffy asked, amused. She started walking toward the desk and he swung his chair around to face her. He patted his knee and she hopped on his lap, snaking her arms around his neck.

"I called Lorne to see if he still had some contacts in the publishing world. He's gonna call me tomorrow after he's talked to a few people. So hopefully by the time we get hitched, I'll have fixed my cash flow problem." He grinned at her, obviously pleased with himself for having thought of calling Lorne now. She beamed at him, happy that he was being proactive about his career. She kissed him lovingly.

"I am so proud of you. Look at you! Future famous author in the making! Ooh, are you gonna have groupies? Do authors even have groupies?" she asked excitedly.

He chuckled at her. God, he had missed her. The way her eyes sparkled when she was excited, the way she smelled, everything about her. He gazed into her eyes and the overwhelming urge to kiss her took over his entire being. He started kissing her deeply; his arms enveloped her as his hands roamed over her back. She twisted herself around so she was no longer on his knee but straddling him. She could feel he was already hard and she let out a small moan. Her moan broke his concentration on kissing her. He placed her on the desk and ran to shut the door and close the blinds to the office. She looked at him quizzically.

"Honey, I think we're the only ones here," she explained to him. He grinned at her devilishly.

"No, love, we're not. Big Blue is floating about here somewhere and the last thing I want is for her to witness us using Sir Broods-a-lot's desk for a bit of mid-day hanky-panky." He closed the last blind and quickly made his way back to the desk and his waiting fiancée.

"Now, where was I?" he asked saucily, devilish grin returning to his face. She wrapped her legs around him and pulled him closer to her.

"I think we were right about here -," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him on top of her.

Chapter 12

The next few weeks flew by in a haze of cleaning, luxurious shared baths, and lovemaking. The days before the party were spent running errands and picking up various drinks and food. Buffy was polishing tables in the dining room while William had taken Gunn to get more ice when a wave of nausea overtook her. She barely made it to the kitchen sink before her breakfast came back up. After rinsing out her mouth, she sat on one of the dining room chairs.

This hadn't been the first morning she felt slightly queasy. She quickly did the mental math and then re-calculated several times. She grabbed her purse and headed to the corner pharmacy. When she returned, she sprinted up the stairs to their room. In the bathroom, she opened the box and read the directions thoroughly. She urinated on the little stick and then set it on the counter. She couldn't watch it mature. What if she was wrong? She went to sit on the corner of the bed, but couldn't stay still. She alternately bounced her knees, waiting for her fate.

She heard William call out to her from the lobby. She yelled back and he was up the stairs in a flash. He burst into the room, hoping she was ok. He wasn't sure what to make of the nervous bouncing Buffy sitting on the bed.

"Are you alright, love? What's goin' on?" he asked, concern lacing his voice.

She shook her head. "I can't look. Can you go in there and see?" She pointed to the bathroom. He looked at her questioningly, following her gaze. He slowly approached the bathroom; turning the knob gingerly as if afraid it was going to explode.

When he entered the bathroom, he saw the little stick lying on the counter. He took a sharp intake of breath. It wasn't just her fate that hung on the results of that little stick but his as well. He cautiously approached the stick. She had left the directions sitting next to it so the results would be easier to decipher. He gazed at the little stick and its little pink lines. He didn't have to read the directions to know what two lines meant. The breath he hadn't known he had been holding was released in one relieved sigh. He picked up the little stick and returned to the very anxious patient.

She stood up quickly as he re-entered the bedroom, holding the little stick. She couldn't wait; she had to know.

"So? What's the verdict?" she asked nervously.

He grinned broadly. "I'm pretty sure that two are better than one, don't you, pet?"

She squealed with excitement and jumped into his waiting arms. She peppered him with kisses before he sat her back down.

"Well, mum, guess we have more than just our engagement to celebrate tomorrow night, huh?" he asked, barely concealing his excitement at their impending parenthood.

"Oh! We should get some sparkling juice since I can't have champagne now," she suggested. He set the stick down on the table and she gathered her purse to fetch yet more beverages.


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When they returned to the hotel, Willow and Tara were seated on the couch in the lobby. Tara rushed to greet Buffy and then pulled back, brow furrowed. Buffy looked at her worriedly.

"Tara, what's wrong?" Tara's brow was still furrowed and she looked Buffy up and down.

"Your aura. It's different. There's a slight color change here – " Tara said slowly. She placed her hand on Buffy's abdomen. Suddenly her eyes lit up and she covered her mouth with her hand.

"Tara, what the –" Buffy started to sputter. Tara grinned broadly.

"You're pregnant. That's what the color change is. It's the baby's aura." Buffy's hand shot to her abdomen and she looked down. When she looked up, Willow and Tara were grinning broadly and William's eyes were brimming with tears of joy. A smile spread from ear to ear on Buffy's face as she looked at her fiancé, hand still on her abdomen. The witch was better than the home pregnancy test. She was carrying their child. It hadn't really sunk in yet. Silent tears slid down her cheeks as she thought about how happy her mom would have been to be a grandma.

The witches hugged her tightly, excited for her and also happy they were going to be aunts. They made up some flimsy excuse of needing to pick up a few things and quickly left the hotel. Buffy stood there, frozen, hand clutching her abdomen. When she was able to form words again, both she and William started speaking at the same time.

"Blimey," he said, shaking his head, running his fingers through his hair.

"Wow," was all she could say. They looked at each other and broke out in a fit of laughter.

"Guess you didn't need to buy that pregnancy test after all, did ya?" he joked

"Guess not. Well, now we have a wedding and a baby to plan for. Plus, we need to find a place to live because we are not raising this baby in a hotel. It's nice, but we need space," she stated.

He strode over to her and embraced her. "So what do you think, mum? What should we name the nibblet?"

She gazed at him, tears leaking from her eyes. "If it's a girl, I want her middle name to be Joyce." He brushed away a tear from her cheek.

"Deal. I'm gonna go call Lorne. See when he's planning on showing up. He said the publisher had my contract ready and he was gonna bring it with." He kissed her on the forehead and headed to Angel's office.

She wandered out to the courtyard and sat down next to the fountain, near where she had first seen him over a month ago. Her world had been so different seven weeks ago. Then, she was a single Slayer with no love life and now she was engaged to the love of her life and was pregnant with their child. She spread her hands across the smooth stone and leaned back, tilting her face toward the sun.

Her meditation was rudely interrupted by a vision. A dark disturbing vision of the type she hadn't had since before The First started making their move. She saw the First Slayer, then flashes of a battle much larger than when they closed the Hellmouth. It shook her to her core. When she stood up, her body was shaking. She slowly made her way back into the hotel.

William had just hung up with Lorne and was making his way toward her when he noticed her blanched expression. He rushed to her side just as she collapsed.

She awoke in their room and could sense she wasn't alone. Of course he hadn't left her alone. He was far too concerned for her welfare and the welfare of their unborn child. But he wasn't alone. Her eyes fluttered open and she could see Willow, Tara and Giles seated on the small couch and chairs at the front of the room. William was perched on the side of the bed, holding her hand.

"Hey, you. Gave us all a bit of a scare," he said nervously. She smiled weakly at him.

"I'm fine. Just had one hell of a Slayer vision. In full Technicolor too," she said quietly, struggling to sit up. Giles had silently made his way toward the still pale Buffy.

"I thought your visions had ceased after the Hellmouth was closed. What did you see?" Giles asked, fatherly concern obvious in his question and look.

"I saw the First Slayer. She spoke to me. And she's still just as riddly," Buffy started to explain.

"What did she say to you?" Giles questioned.

"She said, 'The battle is not over. The final battle is yet to come. Events have been set in motion to bring upon the battle to end all.' When I asked her what motions had been set, all she told me was the battle with The First had set everything in motion. Then I saw part of the battle. I saw thousands of Slayers on a pitch-dark field, dying and fighting. And I saw a girl that sorta looked like me, but she had curly hair." Buffy took a breath and looked at her former Watcher.

"Giles, what the hell is going on? Is there something you're not telling me? Again?"

Giles took a deep breath and removed his glasses to clean them. "There is a prophecy that I recently discovered."

Buffy looked at him, eyes narrowing. "Let me guess. It has something to do with Angel coming to visit you."

"Ye-yes," Giles sputtered, removing his glasses to wipe them again.

William slapped his knee and stood up. "I knew it! I knew that poncey bugger was hiding something. It's not the Shanshu, the oracles told him that much. What's the prophecy say?"

All eyes were on Giles and his audience was waiting for an explanation. He took a deep breath before starting.

"The prophecy concerns the daughter of The Slayer. The text was slightly vague, but I believe the translations read, 'She, borne of the Chosen One and a Champion, will bring 1000 years of peace to earth. No demon shall enter and no demon shall exist on this plane that is without soul. When She is of age, it will begin. ' It also referenced the Shanshu prophecy, though not in so many words. I am so sorry I didn't tell you before, but I really wasn't sure if I wanted to burden you with this information."

Buffy's eyes were still narrowed. "Burden? This prophecy has something to do with my daughter and you didn't want to 'burden' me?" Her voice grew shriller as she spoke. William took her hand and gave it a calming squeeze, a move that betrayed his true feelings. He agreed with her, but he didn't want her to stress herself out too much.

"Don't take that tone with me. All I meant was that you've been under a great deal of stress the last few years. I had no intention of increasing that stress, especially until I knew how your reunion with Spike would go. Now, that being said, Angel is the one who came to me with the vision. I merely consulted some ancient translations to confirm its accuracy," Giles explained. Buffy continued to glare at him.

"So Angel is the one I need to be angry at? Well color me shocked," Buffy said sarcastically.

"So where is tall, dark and forehead anyway?" William chimed in.

"He's downstairs in his office," Willow stated. "After we got Buffy upstairs, I found him in London and popped him back here after I brought Giles back."

Buffy started to move to get out of bed but was quickly stopped by William.

"Nuh uh. You and the nibblet are staying here. I'll go get Captain Broody," William commanded, quickly striding out of the room.

When he reached the lobby, Angel was exiting his office. Angel stopped, crossing his arms across his chest and narrowed his eyes.

"The next time you and Buffy want to have a little mid-day hanky panky, don't do it on my desk," Angel spat at him angrily.

William smirked. He was going to enjoy making Angel uncomfortable. He composed his face to try and express the seriousness of the situation.

"She's awake and right pissed at you. She wants to know about your vision," William said.

The two men ascended the stairs in an uncomfortable silence. When they reached the room, Angel stopped. It wasn't because he hadn't been invited in; he had. It was the quick, fluttering heartbeat that caught his attention. He stared at Buffy, shock obvious on his face. William turned to him, aware of what Angel must have only now realized.

William slapped him on the back and grinned broadly. "Oh yeah, Buffy's pregnant. Isn't that great?"

Chapter 13

William sauntered over to the bed, taking up his seat next to Buffy, who had now sat up in their bed. She punched him in the shoulder to let him know he could drop his smirk.

"Ow! Bloody hell, woman! What was that for?" he cried, shooting an angry glance over at her.

"Wipe that smirk off of your face," she said quietly.

The smirk left, but his eyes were still sparkling. He was really going to enjoy rubbing Angel's nose in their happiness. Buffy nudged him again, eyes blazing. He dropped his gaze so as to not incur her wrath later.

Angel had been standing in the doorway, arms crossed, waiting for her reaction. He started to slowly walk into the room as she began to speak.

"So, Angel. Giles tells me you had a vision that involves my daughter. Were you planning on telling me or were ya gonna wait until she turned 16?" Buffy angrily asked.

"Hi Buffy, and how are you? I'm fine, by the way, just in case you cared," Angel said sarcastically.

William lifted his head, staring at the brooding menace. "Listen Peaches, what was your soddin' vision about? It has somethin' to do with our sprog. Watcher's already told us that much. So what part of the story are you leavin' out?"

Angel sighed, glancing first at Giles, then to William, then finally to Buffy. "Fine. I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell you. Either of you."

Buffy stared at him, narrowing her eyes. "You mean like you didn't bother to tell me William was alive?"

Angel rolled his eyes and snorted. "As a matter of fact, I hadn't planned on telling you he was alive at all. We both saw you in Rome and figured you were doing fine without either of us. Then he had to go and become human. "

William snorted this time. "Yeah, like I had a choice. It was either me or them and the Mohras had it comin' to 'em. All I did was defend myself and look where it got me."

Angel waved his hand and started pacing the room. "Yeah, you got the girl and now you've gotten her knocked up. Great job!" He flashed a sarcastic thumbs up to William.

Willow finally piped up from her perch on the couch. "Listen guys. Can we quit spraying the room down with testosterone and get with it? Angel, what is the prophecy? Exactly."

Angel looked at the witch. "Fine. The exact prophecy was that the champion who helped destroy The First and twice saved the world while it was on the brink of apocalypse would be rewarded with humanity so that he may sire the Chosen One who will bring peace for 1000 years."

William furrowed his brow. "I've helped save the world more than twice. Shouldn't I have been a real boy before this?"

Angel rolled his eyes again and shook his head. "I think the prophecy was referring to taking down the Circle of the Black Thorn and then dealing with the senior partners. All of the other times were just typical Sunnydale apocalypses."

Buffy looked down at her hands, her gaze stopping at her engagement ring. "So, what you're trying to tell me, is that I was destined to get pregnant by William? That about sum it up?"

She met Angel's gaze. He didn't want to confirm his vision, but it had already come true. "Yeah, that's it in a nutshell. And that your daughter is gonna be one hell of a slayer."

Buffy chuckled lightly. "I already knew that. I just didn't think it would happen this soon."

William grasped her hand. "Of course our daughter will be a bloody good slayer. She's gonna save the world, just like her mum's done loads of times."

Buffy smiled at him weakly. She hated the thought that her daughter – "No, their daughter," she thought – was going to have to go through the same things she went through. She shuddered.

William looked at her concerned, completely oblivious to his fiancée's internal struggle. "You OK, pet? Need another blanket?"

She shook her head. "I think I just need to rest. Give me an hour or so?" She looked at him and smiled.

William kissed her on the forehead and ushered everyone out of the room to let her sleep.

Except that Buffy couldn't sleep. She lay on her back, hand on her abdomen, silent tears coursing down her cheeks. Of course she would give birth to a slayer. She just hadn't put much thought into the future of when she had children. There hadn't been a human guy around long enough recently to contemplate the possibility of children.

She looked down at her still flat belly. "Don't worry, baby girl. Mommy won't let the monsters hurt you. I'll be here to teach you how to hurt those monsters when you're old enough. And so will your daddy, your aunties and your Grampa Giles. We'll all be here for you." She rolled to her side, curled up and tried to nap.


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The assembled group downstairs took positions by the counter or on the circular couch. An uneasy silence had blanketed the group. Willow was fidgeting with Tara's hand, Giles was busy cleaning and re-cleaning his glasses, and Angel was trying to concentrate on some paperwork in his office. William was keeping himself busy pacing around the lobby. Tara had started to grow tired of his prowling.

"Listen, wh-why don't we all do something productive? W-We could finish cleaning the dining room?" She tried to sound perky, but two pairs of eyes stared back at her blankly. Willow squeezed her hand.

"It's OK, baby. Maybe you and I should go finish it," Willow suggested. Tara nodded and they walked hand in hand down the hall to the dining room. "I'll even clean the old-fashioned, magic-free way," Willow said cheerily, looking over at Tara. Tara eyed her skeptically.

They entered the dining room to find Gunn hard at work on the lights. He had been replacing bulbs throughout the dining room as well as stringing small crystal lights around. He was changing the bulbs in the chandelier when Willow and Tara walked in.

"Could you hand me those bulbs sittin' over there? Didn't think this thing needed so many, but, damn!" Gunn grinned as Willow handed him the box of bulbs.

"So what's left to do in here? We were kinda hoping for some good cleany-type distraction," Willow asked.

Gunn thought for a moment. His mission had been the lights, so he looked around from his perch on the ladder to survey what still needed to be done. "Looks like the tables still need a good wiping and the floor could use some vacuuming. Vacuum's over by the stage along with the rest of the cleaning supplies." He pointed the small stage in the front of the room.

The witches quickly began working. They barely noticed when Giles appeared in the room and picked up a rag to start cleaning tables. He and Tara shared a smile and continued on with their work.

Willow wiped her brow and smiled at Tara. She knew, however, at the rate the three of them were going it would still take a few days for everything to look bright and shiny. "I think we need some more help," she announced.

Giles straightened up from his cleaning. "I very much doubt Angel or Spike – erm , I mean William – would care to join us."

"I know, Giles," Willow said, beaming. "The Broody Twins were not on my list of cleaners. I was thinking of some Dawnie and Xander help. I told both of them that I'd pop back to pick 'em up as soon as we got settled here. Xand is probably going stir-crazy in the villa and I know Dawnie is dying to see Buffy."

At that moment, Willow's Blackberry started chirping. She checked the display and found a message from Dawn:
At LAX w Xand. Couldnt wait for Air Willow. Where r u?
Willow smiled. "Guess I get to save my strength. Dawn and Xand are waiting at the airport."

As she made her way out to the lobby to gather her things, Angel pulled her into his office. His brow was more furrowed than usual. Something was up and it wasn't good.


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William had ceased his pacing and was now perched on the edge of the desk in the lobby, swinging his legs back and forth and just generally fidgeting. "Oh sod it," he muttered and hopped off the desk. He took the steps two at a time until he reached the second floor. He strode down the hall until he reached their room. He stood outside the door for a moment before turning the handle.

The balcony doors were open and Buffy wasn't in bed. He strode over to the open balcony doors and stopped her as she was straddling the balcony, ready to jump. "What in the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" he demanded.

She looked at him innocently. "Um, going to pick up Dawn at the airport?"

He sighed and shook his head. "Did you forget there's a front door? And stairs? And the fact that you're pregnant and shouldn't be jumping off balconies?" His voice had increased in volume significantly.

She slipped back onto the balcony and looked down guiltily before looking up and meeting his gaze. His eyes had started to glisten. She put her arms around his neck. He buried his face in her hair. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just didn't want to bother anyone."

He pulled back to look her in the face. "Bother? Buffy, luv, this would've bothered me more. No more sneaking, no more hopping off balconies. I can't lose you. Either of you." He placed his hand on her stomach. She placed a hand over his.

"You won't lose us. I promise." She leaned up and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Can we go pick up Dawn and Xand, now?" He nodded and they walked down the stairs hand in hand.

They reached the lobby as Willow was gathering her things. "Hey Buffy! Have a good nap?" Willow asked hopefully.

"Yup," Buffy lied easily. "Where ya headed, Wills?"

"Oh, well, Dawnie sent me a text message and she and Xand are waiting at the airport. Thought I'd go and pick 'em up. I was gonna surprise you. Surprise!" Willow said cheerily.

Buffy furrowed her brow. "Dawn sent me a text message too. I thought maybe William and I could go pick them up."

"Oh! Well, sure! I'm sure she sent both of us the message to see which one of us would check their phone first," Willow reasoned. "If you guys want to go pick 'em up, I'll just head back to the ballroom and get back to the cleany and vacuumy party."

Buffy narrowed her eyes. Her best friend was acting like she was hiding something. "What's going on, Willow? You're acting all evasive-y."

Willow's eyes widened. "Me? Nothing! What makes you think something's going on?"

Buffy crossed her arms across her chest. "Oh, nothing. Just the extra perky and chattiness. Again, I ask, what is going on?"

Willow let out a deep sigh. "Something's happened to Illyria. She ran into, well, something. We're not quite sure what. Angel did some, uh, arranging, and Dawn and Xand brought her back on a private plane."

"What's wrong with Blue?" William asked, very concerned.

"Whatever she came across, it wasn't good. Angel said she's, well, hiccupping personalities is the closest way I can describe it," Willow explained.

"What do you mean 'hiccupping personalities'?" Buffy asked, obviously confused.

Willow started to explain. "Its like she's switching between Illyria and – "

"Fred," William said quietly.

Buffy was still slightly confused. She had heard a little about Fred from Willow. "So what happened to Fred?"

William sighed and went to sit down on the couch in the lobby. "Fred was a brilliant, sweet bird. Me and Angel, we tried to save her after she got infected with some ancient superbug but we failed and her body got taken over by Illyria. She still looks kinda like Fred, but she's nothin' like her. Fred was one of kind."

Buffy walked to the couch and put her arm around his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

William snaked his arm across her waist. "S'alright. Its Wes I really felt bad for. He really loved her."

The small group stood in silence for a few moments before Willow cleared her throat. "Um, guys. Airport?"

William shook his head and wiped away a couple of stray tears. "Yeah. We should go pick up the niblet and the pirate. Shall we, pet?"

Buffy laughed. "That sounds like a really weird children's book. 'The Niblet and the Pirate.'"

William chuckled. "Yeah, it kinda does. Let's go see if Peaches has a car we can borrow. I don't think we're all gonna fit on the bike."

Willow handed him a set of keys. "Rental SUV. Plenty of room for everyone."

William grinned at her. "Thanks, Red."

Willow waved goodbye and had turned to head back to the ballroom when Angel came striding out of his office.

"Willow, this is more serious than we thought," Angel said gravely.