Chapter 1

“You can’t hide out here forever.”

Spike glared at his friend. “Watch me; he can’t force me to meet this bird if he can’t find me. Whose side are you on, anyway, Xander?”

The dark haired man shook his head. “You know I don’t choose sides. That way leads to trouble, but you’ve known Angel for a while. He’s getting married, Spike. That may not be a big deal to you, but it is to him. He’s been talking about this girl nonstop for months. She obviously means a lot to him, enough to propose; don’t you think that as his friend you should be supporting him right now?”

Spike crossed his arms over his chest. “Something just doesn’t feel right. He’s known the bint for three months, and he’s already popped the question. Why does he want me to meet her now? He never cared before, and frankly, I was grateful for that. Some girl gets her claws into my best mate, and now they’re getting married after only a couple months? She’s after his money, I just know it.”

Xander rolled his eyes. “You’re just looking for an excuse to not like her; you can’t know that for sure.”

“He’s a bloody lawyer, Harris, along with his father. The bloke has practically been loaded since birth. His last two girlfriends were only after him for that reason, and if it wasn’t the money, they were too busy hitting on me. What makes this one any different? If he’s not willing to see the truth, I’ll just have to prove it to him. There is no reason for him to be getting married so fucking soon.”

“Oh, please, you’re just against marriage, that’s why this is bothering you so much. You’ve had how many one night stands in the last month? I bet you don’t even remember any of their names. Angel’s not like you, man, you need to let this go and accept the fact that he’s finally happy. He never proposed to any of those other girls. This one must be pretty special,” Xander explained to his very stubborn friend.

Spike wasn’t about to admit defeat. “She has an ulterior motive, just like they all do, and I’m going to find out what it is.”


* * * * *


“It’s about damn time, what took you so long?”

Spike shrugged. “I was at Xander’s; you know what a talker he is.”

Angel nodded, ushering Spike into his house. “Come on, Liz is waiting in the living room. Don’t do anything to screw this up, all right? This girl means a lot to me.”

He crossed his heart. “I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”

Angel rolled his eyes, not believing his friend for a second, but didn’t have time to deal with it. He smiled at his future wife, taking her hand in his. “Spike, this is my Elizabeth.”

When he got his first look at her, Spike’s jaw nearly dropped. It seemed she had the same reaction.

“Will? Is that you?” she wondered, shock written on her features.

“Buffy?” he responded, just as stunned.

Angel was confused as he glanced between them. “You two know each other?”

Spike broke out of his daze, addressing his friend. “Um, yeah, you could say that. We went to high school together.”

“Wait, this is the William you told me about? Your ex-boyfriend?”

She nodded, not sure what else to say.

“Could you give us a moment?” Angel asked him, pulling her away without waiting for a response. He released her when they were out of earshot. “Well, that didn’t go exactly how I hoped it would.”

Buffy came back to reality at the sound of his concerned voice. “You’re not kidding; he’s the last person I expected to see. How long have you been friends?”

“For two years now, I’ve been putting off introducing you until I knew for sure that we were serious. The women I like tend to have a habit of forgetting I exist once they meet him, and I guess some things never change,” he finished, noticing her distracted expression.

Buffy shook her head, moving over to him. “Sorry, I was just surprised, but I’m definitely here with you. Seeing Will again was a shock, or Spike now, whatever he’s calling himself these days, but that’s all it was.”

“Are you sure there aren’t any lingering feelings? You didn’t tell me much about your relationship, but I could tell that he meant a lot to you.”

“That was a lifetime ago, Angel. I’m not the same person I was back then, and neither is he. We loved each other once, I won’t lie to you. He was my world, but I was never his. I’ve spent a long time trying to put the past behind me, just because it’s suddenly come back to bite me in the ass doesn’t change anything. I’m your girl, and I’m going to stay that way. I no longer have any feelings for William. Trust me, that ship has completely sailed.”

Angel hugged her to his side, kissing the top of her head. He wanted to believe her, but couldn’t help the feeling of dread that went through him.


* * * * *


Elizabeth Summers, or Buffy as he always preferred to call her. This had to be a fucking nightmare. His former girlfriend was now engaged to his best friend, someone up there must be getting a good laugh right about now. She still looked just as beautiful as ever, even more so than he remembered. It was still obvious how pissed she was at him, he saw it in her eyes once the shock wore off a bit. William was a social outcast, he never fit in anywhere. If the jocks weren’t making his life a living hell, it was the cheerleaders, all except for Buffy. She was one of the most popular girls in school, but she never treated him like a disease. She went out of her way to befriend him. They met when they were sophomores, dated all through their junior and senior years. Buffy never once cared what her friends thought; she walked the halls proudly by his side. There hasn’t been a day that he didn’t think about her, even after all this time. She was his first love, his first real everything, and he ruined it all. She had every right to hate him, but one way or another; he would find a way to make it up to her. She was with his friend now, and as much as it pained him to admit, they did look happy together. Buffy was definitely not like those other girls, he knew that more than anything. If she was with Angel, then it was because she loved him and nothing else. He would at least find a way to be her friend again, for Angel’s sake, if not for his.

Chapter 2

She came back to the living room, her blonde hair now pulled up in a pony tail.

“Where’s Angel?” he asked to make conversation.

“He had to make a phone call,” Buffy responded, glancing around the room and purposely avoiding his gaze.

Spike rolled his eyes when he noticed what she was doing. “I find it hard to believe that you’ve never seen this house before. It’s not that bloody fascinating.”

Buffy turned to him with a glare. “Compared to you, I would say it was.”

He grinned. “It’s good seeing you again, Buffy.”

“Too bad the feeling’s not mutual.”

Spike nodded, looking her up and down. “It is still Buffy, right? Or do you just go by Elizabeth now? As I recall, you hated that name.”

“Angel likes it; he said it was sophisticated and beautiful, so that’s what he calls me. But if you must know, yes, I still go by Buffy.”

He graced her with a genuine smile. “That’s good to know. You’re really getting married, huh? It makes sense; you always wanted that one day.”

“Right, and you didn’t,” she practically spat. “Angel told me a lot about his friend ‘Spike,’ of course I had no idea he was talking about you at the time. He said how much of a womanizer you are, that you’re never satisfied with just one person. I guess you finally got everything you’ve wanted.”

Spike ran his fingers through his hair. “Look, Buffy, about what happened with us…”

She held a hand up, cutting him off. “We’re not doing this right now. It was ten years ago, obviously we’ve both moved on and there’s no sense reliving the past. You broke my heart, I won’t deny that, but you were right. We never would have worked out. I see the person you’ve become, and I never would have been able to love you. If we ended up together after high school, it wouldn’t have lasted very long. We both wanted different things, you were right to end it. When you told me that you wanted to see other people, I was hurt. I know I was your first girlfriend and you wanted to see what else the world had to offer, but I actually thought we would always be together. God, I was so naïve then, but I’m not anymore. I get it now, and I don’t hold a grudge. I hated you for a while, but I’m over it. I’m marrying a wonderful man that I love, someone who has never let me down. I couldn’t be happier.”

There was something in her tone that had Spike believing otherwise, and he knew a fake smile when he saw one, but decided against saying anything about it. “Well, I’m glad for that, you deserve it. Angel’s a good bloke.”

“Nice to know that you approve,” he said, coming back in the living room.

She wrapped her arms around him. “We were just catching up.”

Angel noticed the far away look on Spike’s face, focusing back on the woman at his side. “Is everything okay?”

Buffy gazed up at him. “Yeah, it will be,” she responded, leaning up to kiss him on the lips

Spike shook his head, needing to get away from the obvious display of affection. “I’m gonna get going now, leave you to your privacy.”

“Thanks for stopping by. We’ll be at the Bronze tonight if you wanted to join us,” Angel told him.

He nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind.” With a wave, Spike left the house and headed over to his car, not wasting any time before driving away.


* * * * *


Spike got home twenty minutes later. He threw his duster to the floor and stomped on it, kicking a lamp over in the process. He took a deep breath to try and control his temper.

“Bloody moron,” he cursed himself.

Everyone who knew Spike thought he had it made, the bachelor pad, a different woman every other night, but in reality, he was beyond miserable. The reason why he hadn’t committed to any of them wasn’t because he didn’t want to, it was because no one could compare to Buffy. Ten fucking years since high school, and she was still all he thought about. He had a box full of her pictures under his bed, including a few things that she gave him. Spike left her for all the wrong reasons, and had her believing that what they had didn’t even mean anything to him, which was so far from the truth. And now it really was too late, not only was she about to be married, but it was to his best friend of all people. If it was with anyone else, Spike wouldn’t mind breaking them up and taking back what was rightfully his, but that wasn’t the case here. For years he thought about looking her up, asking for a second chance, but there was no possibility of that now. Even if Buffy wasn’t engaged, she never would have given him another chance. The look on her face when she saw him again nearly broke his heart. The love she once felt was no longer there and Spike deserved everything he got, but there was one thing that gave him some hope. When Buffy said she was happy, he detected a lack of truth in her words, that maybe it was all a front and she wasn’t as happy as she pretended to be. Spike loved Angel like a brother, but some things were just too important. If she wasn’t truly happy, then he would find a way to use that to his advantage. The plan changed now. Spike would get his girl back, and no one was going to stand in his way.


* * * * *


Buffy stared at her reflection in the mirror, hardly recognizing the girl looking back at her. Without even realizing it, tears sprung to her eyes. Everything she told Spike was a complete lie, her heart wasn’t mended, and seeing him again just brought all the pain back. Buffy truly loved Angel, but at this point, she was just settling for him. She dated a few guys after William, one treated her like crap after they slept together, saying how she wasn’t worth a second go, another was involved with drugs, among other things, and one was an abusive bastard, both physically and emotionally. She still had the scars to show for it. Buffy was starting to think there were no decent men left in the world, until she met Angel. He was there when she needed someone most, her saving grace. Angel was sweet and treated her with respect. When he asked her to marry him, the obvious answer was yes, even though she knew it was too soon. Buffy was done with dating; she just wanted to be with someone who would care for her, and Angel proved that he did every day. She couldn’t help thinking that he deserved better, but she was too selfish to give him up. Besides, who else would ever want her?

Chapter 3

Xander couldn’t stop laughing, until he noticed the thunderous expression on his friend’s face. He coughed one last time, clearing his throat.

“Sorry, man, but you have to admit it’s kind of funny.”

Spike glared at him. “Enlighten me on the funny part? There is nothing amusing about my ex being engaged to Angel.”

Xander nodded. “I guess it wouldn’t be for you, but at least you know she’s not a gold digger now.”

“A part of me wished she was, that would be much easier to deal with. How did I let this happen? I was a bloody fool to let her go, to actually think I could be happier without her in my life. I need her back, Harris.”

The brunet shook his head, taking a deep breath before saying what he needed to. “Are you sure you really want her, or is this only because Angel has her and she’s no longer available? I’m not an expert on dating, but we do tend to want what we can’t have.”

“I don’t fucking know, all right?! I just know that seeing her again brought everything back, and it made me realize that I never truly got over her. I don’t think I ever will,” Spike explained.

“Okay, but you really need to be sure about this first. If not, you could be ruining two relationships for nothing, not to mention remaining alone in the process. You have to figure out if this is really worth it. I don’t know Buffy, but from what you and Angel have told me, before I even realized who she was, she sounds like a great girl. One who’s been hurt in the past, by you, I might add. If you just end up hurting her again, I don’t think either of you would be able to recover this time. You could end up losing both of them.”

Spike thought about it. Angel meant a lot to him, but Buffy meant so much more. She was all he could see, all he ever wanted, and he was willing to risk everything to have her back in his life, no matter the consequences.


* * * * *


Fuck, she was glorious, Spike thought as he watched Buffy gyrate on the dance floor. She looked so free, at peace, like there was no one else in the world but her. Of course, her arms were currently wrapped around Angel, but Spike tried not to let that bother him. He didn’t even know why he agreed to meet them at the Bronze, but just knew that he had to see her again. Spike vaguely remembered some girl trying to pick him up, but right now, he only had eyes for Buffy.

He turned away when the song ended, taking a long drink of his beer, looking up to see them heading back over to the table. Buffy was breathing heavily, sweaty from all the dancing, but he thought she looked absolutely gorgeous.

“I forget that I’m not a teenager anymore. That really takes a lot out of you.”

Spike smiled at her fondly, about to say something, but the ringing of Angel’s cell phone put a stop to it.

He stood, kissing the top of Buffy’s head. “I’ll only be a minute.”

She watched him walk away, turning back to Spike to see him staring avidly at her. “What? Do I have something on my face?”

Instead of answering, Spike stood up, holding a hand out to her. “Dance with me?”

Buffy didn’t think that would be the best idea, but the look on his face decided it for her. She took his hand, letting him lead her back on the dance floor. As if the fates were out to get her, a slow song started to play.

Spike wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to his body as they slowly moved to the music. He shut his eyes in bliss; it felt so right having her in his arms, like she was always meant to be there. “Do you remember the last time we danced together?”

She glanced up at him, smiling at the memory. “Homecoming, you were so nervous about going because you couldn’t dance, but you knew how important it was to me.”

He nodded. “I didn’t want to disappoint you, so I took dance lessons. The worst six weeks of my life, but it was worth it in the end. I would do it again if I had to.”

“Well, I don’t think that’s necessary. You seem to be pretty good at it now.”

There was so much more he wanted to tell her, but Angel returned before he could get anything else out.

“Hey, mind if I cut in?”

Spike let her go; even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. He made his way back to their table and his beer, drinking it all down at once, then ordering another. Glancing back up, he noticed that Buffy wasn’t standing as close to Angel, and with him being so much taller than her, she looked a bit uncomfortable. He smiled to himself, taking another sip of his beer once the waitress brought it over. This might be easier than he thought.


* * * * *


He moved back to London after graduation, wanting to get far away from Sunnydale. Leaving Buffy and everything behind was the hardest thing he ever had to do, but he never regretted it, until now. She had apparently remained in town the whole time, ended up going to a local college, when he remembered her talking about going out of state. Buffy was a cheerleader, but she wasn’t a brainless twit like a lot of those other girls. She was really smart, got accepted to some of the best schools. William was considered a nerd to everyone around him, but he wasn’t an intelligent one. Because of his looks, everyone assumed he was a genius, but that was so far from the truth. He hated high school and everything about it, if it wasn’t for her, he probably would have dropped out at some point. Buffy even tutored him in a few classes, but no one knew about it. They would have continued to believe what they wanted, anyway, and that was one reason of why he ended things with her. She was brilliant, able to do anything with her life, and he felt that being with him would have held her back from everything she deserved. He made up all that crap of wanting to see other people. That was the last thing he wanted, but it was the first thing he thought of. Right now, sitting in his car outside of her house, the same house she grew up in, the same one he would constantly sneak in the window of, Spike didn’t know what to believe anymore. His leaving was a big mistake, and he didn’t think anything could possibly make up for it.

Chapter 4

Buffy jumped when she heard a thud, a hand going to her chest as she took notice of who decided to hop in through her window.

“What the hell are you doing?! You scared me half to death!”

Spike stood up, brushing himself off. “That’s not nearly as easy as it used to be.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “This is why sane people would use the front door. What are you even doing here?”

“I was hoping we could talk. I knew if I called, you would have probably ignored me and if I came to the front door, you would have slammed it in my face. This was the best solution; you remember all the times I used to sneak in here? All the naughty little things we did? Your mum never even had a clue.” Spike suddenly remembered something that Angel told him back when he first started dating Buffy, before he even knew who the hell she was, and now he was cursing himself for his thoughtlessness. “Fuck, Joyce died, didn’t she? I’m so sorry, Buffy, I wasn’t thinking.”

She shrugged. “It’s fine, not like you knew. I guess Angel told you.”

Spike nodded. “I didn’t know he was talking about you at the time, but yeah, he mentioned something about that. When did it happen?”

Buffy sat on her bed, thinking about what to say. “A few months after you left, she was sick for a while before that, I never told anyone. I didn’t want to deal with all of their pity, especially not yours. It was rough, but I got a job and took a few night classes at UC Sunnydale, leaving wasn’t really an option after that. I managed to keep the house with a little help from Rupert Giles, our high school librarian. You remember him? He was an old friend of my mom’s. I’ve been here ever since. I just didn’t have the heart to go anywhere else. This will always be home.”

He sat down at her side, taking in everything she just told him. It now made sense of why she stayed here, even though it pained him to know what she had to go through, and that he wasn’t there for her at the time. “I know it doesn’t mean much coming from me, but I’m very sorry for everything. For your mum, for leaving the way I did without any real explanation. I never meant to hurt you, Buffy. You have to believe that.”

“Whether you meant to or not, you did hurt me. I loved you more than anything…” her voice trailed off, shaking her head. “It doesn’t matter anymore. You should probably go, it’s getting late.”

Spike stood up, giving her what she wanted. He headed back over to the window, taking note of something familiar on her dresser. He noticed it was an old, dried up rose, smiling as he picked it up. “You still have this?”

She saw what he was holding, blushing under his gaze. “It was the first thing you ever gave me; I just couldn’t part with it. I’ve kind of been using it as a bookmark.”

He put the flower down, stepping closer to her. After what she just confessed, Spike couldn’t be held responsible for what he did next. He pulled her off of the bed, taking her in his arms and smashing his lips to hers in a passionate embrace. He felt Buffy try to push him away, but eventually she gave in. Spike never wanted it to end. If he had his way, he’d never let her go again, but breathing soon became an issue. Spike trailed his lips down her neck, licking and sucking at her flesh. “God, I want you.”

That was all it took for Buffy to slam back to reality, immediately shoving him away from her. “No, we have to stop. What are you doing? You can’t just come in here and kiss me like that.”

“What am I doing? I may have started it, but you kissed me back just as much. Admit it, Buffy, you felt something. The passion we used to have is still there, you can’t deny that.”

She shook her head. “This isn’t happening. It was a mistake, a moment of weakness. I’m with Angel now, and you’re just going to have to accept it. That’s all this is about. You’re afraid to lose me to your friend, but you lost me a long time ago. I haven’t heard from you in ten years. My life is finally heading to a good place, the last thing I need is for you to mess everything up. We had our chance, Will, but it’s over now. It has to be.”

Anger finally took over; he was tired of being nice. “So, what, you’re just gonna marry him? I know you, Buffy, more than anyone else does. I’ve seen you with him, and what you have isn’t love. You may think that now, and I know you want it to be, but it’s not. You care for him, I won’t deny that, but you’re not in love with him. I’m not the same person I was, I’m better now, I can finally be here for you. I know I have a lot to make up for, but there’s no doubt in my mind that you’re the one I’m meant to be with. I know you feel the same way.”

“I don’t,” she said, tears stinging her eyes. “I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. You have to go now.”

“Buffy, please,” he pleaded, but she wasn’t giving in this time.

“No, you have to go. We’re not doing this, and if you loved me at all, you won’t tell Angel. It won’t be happening again. Please, Spike, just go.”

His heart broke at the sight of her tears, and for once hated hearing his nickname. He wanted to make things better for her, but all he managed was to make it worse. Spike would leave because she told him to, but this was far from over. He nodded and without saying another word, went back out through the window. It didn’t even occur to him to use the door.

Buffy watched him go, and when she could no longer see him, she curled up in her bed, crying her heart out. She didn’t want to admit it to him, but everything he said was true. Buffy hated that even after all this time, he could still read her better than anyone else. She didn’t know what to do, and was now more confused than ever.

Chapter 5

Spike strolled through the law firm as if he owned the place, a grin on his features, which became even wider once he reached Angel’s office. There was a dark haired beauty perched on his desk, and he seemed to be laughing at something she said. Spike cleared his throat to get their attention.

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

The woman stood up, fixing her skirt in the process, and giving Angel one more look. “I’ll get right on that, Mr. O’Connor.”

Spike watched her leave, fixing his gaze back on his friend. “Who’s the cutie? Did I interrupt something kinky?”

Angel rolled his eyes. “Hardly, Cordelia’s my secretary. I was just going over something with her.”

“It didn’t look like you were discussing anything for work. Is she sweet on you?”

“I wouldn’t know, and even if she was, it doesn’t matter. I’m strictly a one woman man. You know that,” Angel explained.

Spike let the subject drop, noticing a picture of Buffy on his desk, looking absolutely stunning. There was another photo of the couple together, and while Angel had a big smile on his face, Buffy’s looked forced, which gave him more hope. “Why don’t you ever call her Buffy?” he found himself asking. “Is it not a good enough name for you?”

The brunet shrugged. “I have nothing against it; I just don’t think it really suits her. Elizabeth is a beautiful name; I don’t know why she doesn’t like it more.”

“Buffy is just as beautiful, you wanker,” Spike mumbled under his breath when Angel started going through some papers on his desk.

“What was that?” Angel wondered, his head shooting back up.

“Nothing, and to answer your earlier question, I’m here to take you to lunch. If you can afford to leave for a little while, that is.”

He agreed, really needing a break. “Yeah, that sounds good.”


* * * * *


“How did you two meet? You never said much about that.”

Angel shook his head. “I don’t know if I feel right talking about that, it’s kind of personal. It’s not really my place to say, maybe you should ask her.”

“You know she’s not likely to tell me anything,” Spike responded.

Angel took a deep breath, nodding after a moment. “All right, but you didn’t hear this from me. Elizabeth was a former client of mine.”

He raised his eyebrows in confusion. “I thought you said that you would never date a client?”

“I did, but that was before I met her. At first it was just professional; I never dated her while she was my client, that came after the trial. Liz got my name from the paper; she came to my office after being badly beaten by her boyfriend, a Warren Mears. I saw this innocent woman, how distraught she was and knew I had to help her. We put her in protective custody until Warren was found; she had proof that he was violent with other women as well. The man had tapes and photographs in his closet from previous beatings, rape, he wasn’t very careful about hiding anything that he did, apparently. He was brought to court, we showed the evidence to the jury and got him locked up for a long time, and Liz was once again a free woman. She was so strong to come forward the way she did, but I knew how vulnerable she was, so I waited a few weeks to ask her out. I know it was still very sudden, but I’ve never been a very patient man. We’ve been inseparable ever since, but, and I can’t believe I’m telling you this, we’ve never taken our relationship to the next level.”

Spike took it all in, shock written all over his face. If that pillock wasn’t in prison right now, Spike would take great pleasure in beating the shit out of him. He couldn’t believe that someone could hurt Buffy in such a way, and was glad the bloke was now paying for it. God, he should have been there for her. He was grateful for Angel, but it should have been him. If he didn’t regret leaving before, he sure as hell did now, but focused more on the last part his friend said. “You haven’t slept together yet?”

He blushed, shaking his head. “She wanted to wait, and it’s understandable with how her last relationship turned out.”

Spike was beyond relieved, but tried not to show how much, tuning back in when he realized Angel was still talking.

“I know this is a lot to ask, but it would really mean a lot if you could be my best man.”

He didn’t know what to say, being present at that wedding was the last thing he wanted, but didn’t have any real excuses for not going. “Sure, I can do that.”

Angel smiled, patting his friend on the back. “Thanks, I knew you would come through. I already told Liz about it, and she didn’t seem to mind. Have you noticed anything off with her? She’s been kind of distracted lately.”

Spike shook his head, thinking of what to tell him. “Not really, probably just pre-wedding jitters. I hear all women go through it.”

Angel agreed. “Right, I’m sure that’s it.”

“So, when is the big day?”

“Well, I was thinking we should wait a year. I know how unexpected the proposal was for her, but I talked with Elizabeth and it doesn’t look like she wants to wait that long. We’re getting married in a month.”

Spike made the mistake of taking a sip of his water when Angel said that, causing him to quickly spit it out. “A bloody month?”

Angel wiped off the table. “I know it’s really soon, but this is what she wants. It doesn’t matter to me; long engagements aren’t always a good thing. Besides, she doesn’t want anything really big, just a small wedding with family and close friends. We’re having a simple ceremony in my backyard. Liz doesn’t believe in church weddings since her parents were married in one, and you know what happened with them.”

He knew all too well. Hank Summers was a prat who walked out on Buffy and her mum for a younger chit, leaving both women devastated.

“I’m having a bachelor party next week; a few guys from work are throwing me one. I was completely against the idea, but they wouldn’t let me out of it. You should come, it might be fun. They’ve promised there won’t be any strippers, but I don’t see that happening. Liz is going out with her friends that night as well.”

Spike was still in a daze knowing how soon the wedding was, but he shook himself out of it. “Of course, I can’t turn down a bachelor party.” He could tell that Angel was happy for that, immediately talking about something that happened at work, but Spike tuned him back out. He had even less time now, but one thing was for sure, he couldn’t let this wedding happen.

Chapter 6

“Why are you getting married so soon? Is it because of what happened with us?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “You mean the one kiss we shared? Don’t flatter yourself, Spike, it has nothing to do with you. I just couldn’t wait much longer to make our marriage official.”

He didn’t believe that, and once again hated hearing his nickname come from her lips, but she seemed to be keen on using it now. When he was around her, he just wanted to be William. “What about your mother’s house? Do you really think he’s going to move in here once you’re married? No, he’ll want you to live in his house. There’s no way Angel would ever give up his place.”

“We haven’t discussed the living situation yet, and it’s really none of your business,” she retorted.

“Have you met his secretary? They seemed to be pretty close when I visited him at his office the other day.”

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. “I know what you’re doing, and it won’t work. Yes, I’ve met her before. She has a little crush on Angel, but it’s not returned. He’s very much devoted to me.”

“You sure about that?” he wondered.

“Why? Because I’m not enough to hold anyone’s interest? Is that it? Just because you eventually got tired of me, doesn’t mean every other man thinks the same way.”

To say Spike was shocked would be an understatement, but he really couldn’t blame her for thinking that. “Okay, we’re going to get this straightened out right now. I know things ended badly with us, but I did not, and could never get tired of you. You were the only woman I ever wanted, and that’s never going to change. I was a bloody coward back then, all right? I had a hard time expressing my feelings, so I told you some rot of wanting to be free of you, but it wasn’t true. None of it was. I heard about all of the colleges you got accepted to. They were so far away, and with my poor grades, I never would have been able to go with you. I knew you would have stayed here for me, but I couldn’t let you do that. You were meant for so much more, I had nothing to offer you, so I let you go. I know I went about it the wrong way, but I didn’t have another choice. It would have been easier if you hated me. I shouldn’t have left so suddenly after graduation without even much of a goodbye, but I just couldn’t be around you anymore. It was too hard. I didn’t know your mum was sick, or that you wouldn’t have been going anywhere. I would have been here for you if I knew. I was young, Buffy, I made a lot of bloody mistakes. Hell, we all have, but I’ve never stopped loving you. When I moved back a couple of years ago, I had no idea you were still here. I would have been on your doorstep the second I got back if I knew. I thought you were off somewhere having the time of your life, seeing the whole bloody world. If I knew what you’ve been through…” his voice trailed off, forgetting that he wasn’t supposed to know about her abusive boyfriend.

Buffy had tears in her eyes, not even realizing that she was crying, and wiping at them angrily. “It’s nice to know that I can trust Angel with my secrets.”

“It’s not his fault, love. I wanted to know how you met; he didn’t even want to tell me.”

She nodded. “Fine, so you know, it doesn’t change anything. How can I really believe anything you say? You claim to have lied back then. How do I know you’re not still lying to me now? That you really wanted to be with me?”

Spike took a small box out of his pocket, always keeping it close. He opened it to reveal an elegant, diamond ring. “I was going to give this to you after graduation. It belonged to my mother. It was more of a promise ring than anything else. I wanted you to wear it, so everyone would know that you belonged to someone, and then after college, I was going to ask you to marry me officially. I believed in so much back then. I believed that we would always be forever, but I let my insecurities get the best of me. I got scared when I realized that we would never be going away together, that what we had probably wouldn’t have lasted beyond high school. You would have gone off without me, possibly falling in love with someone else. I couldn’t bear that, so I took the pansy way out.”

Buffy shook her head, tears streaming down her face. “You had no right to make that decision for me. You don’t know what could have happened. If you would have just talked to me about your fears, I could have put you at ease. Whenever I looked to the future, you were all that I saw. We could have found a way to make it work, but you didn’t even give us a chance.” She avoided his gaze, glancing back at him one last time. “What’s done is done; we can’t change the past. I’m marrying Angel next month, you’re too late.”

Spike watched her walk away, and he did nothing to stop her.


* * * * *


A bloody strip club, how appropriate for a bachelor party. Angel claimed he knew nothing of the arrangements, but Spike could tell the other man wasn’t too put off by it. He took a sip of his beer, staring at the half naked woman who was dancing seductively for him. Angel was occupied by a pretty blonde currently straddling his lap, Spike’s was a busty brunette, and if he wasn’t completely in love with Buffy, he would have probably asked for a private room. He kept an eye on Angel, making sure his friend kept his hands to himself. Spike was too busy watching Angel that he wasn’t paying attention to the woman in front of him, who was now shoving her tongue down his throat. It took a second for him to come back to himself, and when he did, he immediately pushed her away.

“I’m very flattered, but we’re not going there.”

She pouted, cupping the erection he was sporting through his pants, giving him a light squeeze. “I think this would say otherwise.”

Spike’s eyes rolled back in his head, but he tried to stay focused. “You seem like a nice woman, but I’m not really interested. What’s your name?”

She was surprised, taking a step back from him. Guys were only ever after a quick fuck with her; they never cared to ask her name before. “Faith,” she responded.

“Pretty, here, buy yourself something nice.” He handed her a wad of cash, then got up and left the club. Once outside, he rested his head against a brick wall, lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag from it. A willing woman practically threw herself at him, and he turned her down. If Spike wasn’t convinced before that he was fully whipped, he sure as hell was now. This couldn’t end well.

Chapter 7

“It’s not a big deal, Elizabeth. I had no idea they planned to take me to a strip club. I was blindfolded, and I didn’t want to hurt their feelings by leaving.”

She rolled her eyes. “Why is it that every guy needs to see strippers before they get married? Why not a hooker while you’re at it, one last fling before the nuptials?”

“Hey, it was just for fun, I had no intention of doing anything with those dancers. I was a perfect gentlemen, just ask Spike. He got more action than I did, I felt uncomfortable the whole time. All I could think about was you,” Angel explained.

Buffy found that a little hard to believe, and felt a twinge of disappointment at the thought of Spike being with one of those strippers, but it wasn’t her place to be upset about it. He could do whatever the hell he wanted, it meant nothing to her, but Angel wasn’t finished.

“What about your night out? Do you mean to tell me that it was completely innocent?”

She nodded. “You’re right, I was hardly innocent. We had a big party at my house. A stripper showed up dressed as a cop. I had him read me my rights, and then I took him upstairs to fuck his brains out, while my friends waited patiently for us to finish.”

Angel was appalled that she could speak to him like that, this wasn’t his sweet Elizabeth. “What has gotten into you? Are you just trying to pick a fight right now? You know I didn’t do anything wrong last night. Why are you acting like this?”

Buffy shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. She was angry, but not at him. She was angry at herself, and taking it out on Angel seemed like the only thing to do at the moment, but he didn’t deserve that. “I don’t know. Just forget it, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Buffy left his house before he could stop her, not wasting a second before driving away.


* * * * *


Spike was surprised to find Buffy on his doorstep, moving out of the way to let her inside.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” he asked, closing the door behind her.

She took in a deep breath. “I don’t know why I’m here. I just had a huge fight with Angel and needed to get away. The next thing I knew, I was in front of your apartment.”

He nodded. “What was the fight about?”

“God, it was so stupid. I got on his case about going to that strip club, when I don’t even really care. I know he didn’t do anything, but I just got so mad. I hear you had a good time, though.”

Spike raised his eyebrows. “I wouldn’t say it was exactly my idea of fun. Some bloody bint tried to get her claws in me, but I turned her down. She wasn’t really my type.”

Buffy had a feeling that wasn’t the whole reason, but decided to let it go.

“So, what did you and your girly mates do last night?”

Buffy shrugged. “Nothing, they wanted to take me out, but I chose to stay home instead. I didn’t feel like doing anything. It just all hit me how sudden this wedding is. I’m nowhere near ready for it. I don’t know what I was thinking when I chose to get married in a month, I must have been crazy. Angel’s mother is a complete tyrant, she doesn’t believe in small weddings. She nearly had a stroke when Angel told her that’s what we were doing, so now she’s constantly getting involved and changing everything, not bothering to ask how I feel about it. I just want this whole thing to be over with.” She sat down, laying her head on the back of his couch.

Spike could tell how utterly exhausted she was, and just wanted to take her in his arms, but he wouldn’t dare. Instead, he sat down next to her, being sure to put enough space between them. “Has Angel said anything to her about taking over?”

Buffy gave a short laugh. “Please, he still does pretty much everything his mother says. He hasn’t stood up to her in twenty-eight years; I don’t see that changing any time soon.”

Spike rolled his eyes. Typical, didn’t Angel realize this was his and Buffy’s wedding? They’re the only ones who should be calling the shots. If Spike was marrying her, he would do everything in his power to make it the best day ever for her. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but if you’re having any doubts about marrying him, then maybe you shouldn’t be doing it. You’re not happy, pet, anyone can see that.”

“But I want to be,” she whispered, looking over at him. “I want to be with someone who loves me.”

It was now or never. “Then be with me, Buffy. End this now, and we can have a life together, whatever you want. I know I messed up in the past, and not a day goes by that I don’t regret my actions, but I never stopped loving you. Whenever I see you with Angel, or when you talk about the wedding, I feel my heart break a little more. I’ve tried to be supportive, but it’s killing me. I don’t make a habit of breaking up relationships, and if I thought for one second that you were truly happy with him, I would walk away right now and let you have the happiness that you desperately deserve, but I know you’re not.” Spike wiped one of her tears away, taking her hand in his and giving it a light squeeze. “I am so in love with you.” He kissed her then, putting all of his emotions behind the gesture, and more importantly, she was kissing him back. He trailed his lips up her face, pecking the tip of her nose, her closed eyelids, and then making his way back to her luscious lips, letting her tongue massage his. Spike pulled her bottom lip into his mouth, gently nibbling on it, delighted at the sounds of her soft moaning. His phone rang suddenly, and Spike silently cursed himself for not putting it on vibrate.

That was all Buffy needed as she jerked back to reality, jumping off the couch and quickly moving away from him. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this. I shouldn’t have come here.”

Spike watched with a heavy heart as she ran out of the apartment, finally letting his tears fall, the phone still ringing in the distance.

Chapter 8

Buffy hated waiting in Angel’s law firm for him to finish up with a client, but she felt that they hadn’t been spending much time together lately. The lawyers he worked with were basically nothing but pigs, a few would leer at her as they walked by, and Buffy had never felt so exposed. These were the same morons who thought taking him to a strip club would be the appropriate thing to do. Probably the love ‘em and leave ‘em type, the kind who couldn’t understand why Angel was settling down. She got tired of waiting and decided to go for a walk around the office, stopping outside of the kitchen area when a familiar voice caught her attention, immediately recognizing it as Angel’s secretary.

“My date last night was such a disaster; I’m so tired of these rejects.”

A woman chuckled. “I don’t know why you keep getting involved with losers, Cordy. You could have anyone you wanted. It’s a shame Mr. O’Connor is taken, I know how you feel about him.”

Cordelia let out a sigh. “Don’t remind me, not that I have anything against Buffy. I’ve only met her a couple of times and she seems really nice, but I don’t think she knows just how lucky she is to have him. I would give anything for a man like that, but he only has eyes for her.”

“What about when you two locked lips at the office party a few weeks ago?”

Her eyes widened. “Would you keep it down? I don’t want anyone to know about that, Harmony. It was a one time thing, and we felt really awkward afterwards. I was just being drunk and stupid; we both swore never to bring it up again. I’m not the kind of person who would steal someone else’s boyfriend. I’ve been cheated on before, and I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. It was a mistake.”

Buffy heard enough, quickly heading back over to where she was sitting before. She was originally supposed to go to that office party with him, but wasn’t feeling well at the time. If Buffy found out about the kiss when it happened, she might have been able to deal, but him choosing not to even tell her about it proved that it meant something to him, and it wasn’t just a mistake like Cordelia thought. If it was, he would have come clean about it. She was too lost in her thoughts to notice that Angel was now standing in front of her, a big smile on his face.

“Hey, you ready to go?”

Buffy nodded as she stood, still in a daze, but not too much that she didn’t notice the longing expression on Cordelia’s face as they left the building together.


* * * * *


“All right, what’s wrong? You’ve been quiet ever since we got back, and you hardly said anything at lunch. You’re not still mad about the strip club, are you?”

Buffy shook her head, taking in a deep breath. “Are you in love with your secretary?”

That was the last thing he expected to hear. “What? Where the hell did that come from?”

She shrugged. “It’s just a question, one that should have an easy answer.”

“I don’t know how you could ask me that. You’re the one I’m engaged to, Elizabeth. How could you even think that I would be in love with someone else?”

Buffy shut her eyes, moving away from him. “That’s the wrong answer,” she mumbled, but he heard her.

“Well, why don’t you tell me what the right answer is? I feel like I can’t win with you anymore. It’s like everything I say is wrong, and I would rather avoid getting into another fight,” he claimed.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me about the kiss? I overheard her talking about it today.”

Angel let out the breath he’d been holding. “I’m sorry, I should have told you, but I didn’t want to upset you. It didn’t mean anything.”

“No, if it didn’t mean anything, you would have told me. I’m not stupid, Angel. She’s obviously in love with you, and I don’t think she’s alone in that. I’ve noticed the attraction for a while now, but I just figured it was all in my head. And then when Spike…”

He threw his hands up in the air, cutting her off. “Spike, I should have known. You do see what he’s doing, don’t you? He’s trying to break us up.”

“He’s your friend, why would he do that?” Buffy wondered, even though she had a pretty good idea.

“He may be my friend, but I don’t trust him where you’re concerned. I know he’s not over you. Spike has this annoying habit of going after the women in my life. Everything I have, he just has to have, too. He had his chance with you, but he blew it. I’m finally happy and he can’t handle that.”

Buffy shook her head. “I don’t believe that. If that was the case, I doubt you two would be such good friends at all. He may have made some mistakes, but there’s no doubt in my mind that he cares about you.”

“This isn’t about Spike, we’re talking about us. I think the better question is, are you still in love with him?”

She didn’t know how to respond to that, instead choosing to lash out. “Don’t turn this around on me; you’re the one who kissed another woman.” Buffy regretted that the second it left her mouth, knowing she was just as guilty.

“That’s the wrong answer,” he replied. “Why don’t you let me know once you’ve figured out what you feel? I’m going for a walk.”

Buffy watched as he left the house, wondering how to make things right, but he wasn’t completely wrong in asking that question. It was obvious that Buffy still had strong feelings for Spike, but like Angel, she didn’t know if she could ever trust him.


* * * * *


“You just couldn’t wait to tell Elizabeth about Cordelia, could you?”

Spike was taken aback when Angel entered his apartment without knocking first, and it was obvious the man had been drinking. “I didn’t realize there was something to tell. All I said was that I noticed a spark between you two, just making an observation.”

“An observation that you hoped would break us up,” he spat.

Spike shook his head. “I was only looking out for her.”

Angel laughed. “Like you’ve been doing for the last ten years, right? You have never mentioned her in all the time I’ve known you, and now you suddenly care about her wellbeing? You let her go, Spike. If you really loved her, you could have made things work, but you didn’t. She told me all about how you broke her heart, and I won’t have you do that again. She feels for you, I know that, there’s still a part of her that will always belong to you, but you’re not the type to stick around. I’ve seen girl after girl come out of your apartment, never have I seen the same one twice. For months I have devoted everything to that woman, and I’m not about to give her up now. Yes, I might feel something for Cordelia, I can admit that much, but it’s nothing compared to what I feel for Liz. I want you to back off, Spike. If you were really my friend, you would do that. If you can’t, then this friendship is officially over.”

“I can’t make any promises. I’ll keep my distance, but only if that’s what she wants. If she chooses to come see me, I won’t turn her away. The last thing I want is to get involved in your relationship. I care about you both, but I love Buffy. I’m not going to stand here and tell you I don’t. She means everything to me, and all I want right now is to get back her friendship.”

Angel couldn’t tell if he was being sincere or not, but anything else he would have said was put on hold by a new presence in the apartment.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t realize anyone was here.”

Angel shook his head, turning away from the woman to glare at his soon to be former friend. “Oh, yeah, you really love her.” He left the apartment then, not bothering to look back once.

Spike clenched his jaw, a small hand settling on his shoulder.

“Is everything okay? I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

He gave her a strained smile. “You didn’t, love. Everything is just fine.”

Chapter 9

Angel found Buffy asleep on his couch when he got home, surprised that she didn’t leave after their argument. He gently nudged her awake, trying not to smile at how cute she was.

“Hey, what are you still doing here?”

She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. “I thought we should talk some more. I didn’t like the way we left things.”

He agreed. “We should, but it’s getting late now. Can we finish this tomorrow? I have to get up early for a meeting.”

Buffy nodded and stood up. “Where were you?”

“I went over to Spike’s.”

Her eyes widened. “You two didn’t fight, did you? I can tell you’ve been drinking.”

Angel rolled his eyes. “We’re both adults, Elizabeth, even if he still hasn’t matured much. I only had a couple of beers. He’s not worth hitting, we just talked. He was entertaining company, anyway, so I didn’t care to stick around for very long. Some woman, young, dark hair, I’ve never seen her before, but it’s hard to keep track with him.”

Buffy’s heart dropped, but didn’t let on how much she was hurt by that. “Right, I’ll just be going now. We’ll talk later.” She hurried out of the house and over to her car, when she was far enough away, Buffy finally let the tears fall.


* * * * *


“It’s so nice of you to do this, Spike. I know how important your bachelor pad is.”

He laughed. “I would hardly call it that, but you know you’re always welcome, Tara. You and the bit can stay here for as long as you need.”

She was relieved for that, smiling when her daughter ran into the kitchen. “Hey, munchkin, slow down.” Tara picked the child up, pecking her on the cheek.

Spike smiled as well, seeing them together really made him realize how much he wanted children. “If you’re good, I’ll let you have some ice cream before dinner. If it’s all right with your mum, of course.”

The little girl beamed up at him. “Yay! Can I, Mommy? Please?”

Tara pretended to think about it. “Okay, but just this once. Now, go sit at the table and I’ll bring it out to you. No running,” she stated as the girl took off again. “You’re good with her. This whole thing has been really hard on us. Amanda’s only seven, she doesn’t really understand what’s going on, and I don’t know what to tell her.”

“You should tell her that her dad was sick, and when he gets like that, he doesn’t know how to control his emotions. Just let her know that you’ll always be there for her, no matter what happens.”

She took his hand in hers, giving it a light squeeze. “So, I’ve been in town for a week now and you have yet to tell me about Buffy. I know you were together in high school, but then drifted apart, and now she’s suddenly back in your life. How are you handling that?”

He laughed humorlessly. “Not very well, that bloke who came over the other night is her fiancé, who also happens to be my best friend, but probably not anymore. I’ve really screwed things up. I should have never let myself get close to her again, but I couldn’t help it.”

“You love her.” It wasn’t a question.

“So bloody much, but it’s too late now. Nothing I do can ever make things right. I should just leave her alone; let her be happy with him. No matter how much it kills me.”

“Mommy!” Amanda yelled from the other room.

“I’m coming, baby,” she responded. “I better get her that ice cream before she explodes.”

Spike smiled sadly, but Tara wasn’t finished.

“Why don’t I take you out to dinner tonight? It’s the least I could do. Some place kid friendly, for one night, we can forget all of our troubles and just have some fun.”

He nodded. “That sounds good, pet.”

Amanda started to bang her little fists on the table, getting agitated.

Spike growled and tackled her, causing her to let out a shriek and giggle. “You’re a little trouble maker, aren’t you?”

She shook her head. “I’m a good girl.”

He tickled her, licking his lips when Tara set down a bowl of ice cream in front of them. “Look at that, just enough for me.”

Amanda made a face, snatching her treat away from him. “Mine!”

Tara gave her a stern look. “That’s not nice, Mandy.”

She looked ashamed, but Spike wasn’t bothered.

“It’s no problem, love. You’ll let Uncle Spike have one little bite, won’t you?” he said, giving her the puppy dog eyes.

Amanda nodded, holding the spoon out to him, and laughing when he took it in his mouth.

“Cold, but so very good.” Spike stood, placing a kiss to the top of her head as she devoured the rest of the ice cream.

Tara watched him head to the living room, sighing at his departure. She hoped that William found what he was looking for. He really deserved it.


* * * * *


Buffy didn’t know where she was going. She went for a stroll, and ended up walking all over town, with no real destination in mind. She just knew that being at home would only depress her. Buffy stopped suddenly when she saw Spike in the distance, laughing with a woman, who was holding the hand of a small child. They looked like a little family, and Buffy didn’t know what to think anymore. That was definitely not something she would have expected to see from Spike, and her heart dropped even more. Buffy felt the tears sting her eyes when she saw Spike pick the little girl up and twirl her around, wishing more than anything that she was watching him with their child, but that just wasn’t possible. She didn’t know who the other woman was, but it was obvious that Spike thought highly of her, she was more than just some one night stand. Buffy smiled at the display now, it was nice to see him so happy, even if it wasn’t with her. Maybe this was exactly what he needed, if they got back together, they would probably only make each other miserable. He deserved someone who could really make him smile, and it looked like he finally found her. It was then that Buffy realized she deserved the same thing, and knew what she had to do. With that thought in mind, she turned and walked away.

Chapter 10

“Well, it looks like you finally got what you wanted. I hope you’re happy.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Do you have a problem with knocking before you enter someone’s home? What are you on about now?”

“As if you didn’t know,” Angel responded, placing a small ring down on the table in front of him. “Elizabeth handed this back to me, after telling me that she couldn’t go through with the wedding.”

To say Spike was shocked would be an understatement. “She called it off?”

He nodded. “I don’t know what happened. She came by my house in tears, saying how she loved me, but she didn’t think she was in love with me, and that going through with the wedding wouldn’t be fair to either of us. Are you telling me that you knew nothing about this?”

Spike shook his head. “I haven’t even seen her in days. I was doing what you said, giving you both some space. I don’t know where that decision came from, but I guarantee it had nothing to do with me.”

Angel ran his fingers through his hair, taking a seat at the kitchen table. “I did something I’m not proud of. I told her about your lady friend, the one I saw here the other night. I guess I wanted to see if Liz would get jealous over it, which would prove that she still had feelings for you. She didn’t really say anything, but I could tell how hurt she was, it was written all over her face.”

Spike let out a sigh. “You bloody moron,” he cursed, motioning for Tara to come over when he saw her walk by. “This is Tara, my sister. She’s having some problems at home, so I agreed to let her and her daughter stay with me for a while.”

Angel’s eyes widened, standing up to shake the woman’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you. Sorry if I was such a jerk before, I didn’t realize Spike had any siblings.”

Tara smiled at the nervous man. “Don’t mention it. I’m just going to put Amanda down for her nap,” she said the last part to Spike, leaving to do just that.

“You have a sister?” Angel wondered once they were alone. “Why am I just now finding out about this? If I knew that beforehand, I wouldn’t have said anything to Liz. Now I feel like an even bigger dick.”

“You bloody well should, you had no right to tell her that. Tara’s my half-sister, and I don’t have to tell you everything, not like you’ve ever asked about my family. It’s not like you even gave me much chance before storming out of here after you saw her, you always think the worst of me. I’ve made a lot of wrong bloody calls in my life, but I’m through with meaningless one night stands. I may have hid it around you, but all that ever did was make me miserable. I want more than that.”

“And you want it with Buffy,” he finished, it wasn’t a question.

Spike didn’t even acknowledge the fact that Angel actually used her nickname for once. “Yes, I want it with Buffy; I’m not going to lie to you. I want to be with her. I want to love her, and more importantly, I want to be free to love her. I’m sorry about your wedding, but you had to know that it wouldn’t have worked out. I know you, Angel; your heart was never in it.”

Angel nodded, not about to deny what he knew was the truth. “I guess it was more about wanting to save her. When I first met her, she was so broken. I wanted to be a hero for her, to be needed by someone. I know that’s not the sort of thing you base a relationship on, but for a while there, I thought it was enough. Look, Buffy deserves the best, and she loved you once. Hell, she still does, I don’t know why she suddenly decided to break off our engagement, but there’s no doubt in my mind that it had everything to do with you. If you love her, then go tell her that. Make her see that you’ve really changed, that you’re here for the long haul. Do something right this time.”

Spike was surprised that the other man was basically giving his approval to go after Buffy. “Is she at home now?”

“I think she’s at work, but she should be home some time after dark.”

He patted his friend on the back, heading over to the door, and stopping when Angel spoke up again.

“I don’t think I have to tell you this, but if you hurt her, I will be forced to kick your ass.”

Spike grinned, and with a nod, he took off to get his girl.


* * * * *


After getting everything he needed, Spike hurried over to her house, knowing that he likely only had an hour until she came home. He glanced up at her window, and if he knew Buffy, it would be unlocked. Spike got his answer when he easily pushed it open, shaking his head at how dangerous that was, but right now, it worked in his favor. He rubbed his hands together, not wasting any time before putting his plan to motion.


* * * * *


Something wasn’t right when Buffy walked into her house later that night. The place was dark, illuminated by candles, and soft music was playing on the stereo. If someone was going to rob her, they weren’t doing a very good job of it. When she entered the living room, she was stunned by the sight before her. Spike was standing by the fireplace, wearing a nice suit, and holding up a red rose.

“I thought you could use a new one,” Spike told her.

Buffy didn’t know what to think at this point. “What is all of this?”

He took in a deep breath. “This is for me being such an idiot, not just in the past. I want to do things right, Buffy. I want us to have a real relationship.”

“Angel…” she started, but was cut off.

“He’s okay with it; I talked to him before I came over. He practically gave us his blessing, after promising to beat me to a bloody pulp if I ever hurt you again.”

That got a laugh out of her, but it quickly faded. “What about that girl I saw you with?”

Spike raised his eyebrows in confusion. “What girl?”

“In town, you were with some woman; she had a kid with her. You looked really happy.”

He smiled, shaking his head. “Well, you’re right about that, I’m always happy when I see her. That was Tara, my little sister; the nibblet is her daughter, Amanda. Her husband’s an alcoholic and started beating on her, but when the pillock tried to lay a finger on Amanda, Tara finally had enough and left him. She didn’t know where else to go, so I offered to let them stay with me for the time being.”

“God, is she okay?”

Spike nodded. “She will be. She’s my half-sister, I’m sorry that I never told you about her before, but you know I’m not one for talking much about my personal life. She was living with her mother in New York when I was in school, before she met her wanker of a husband, and then has been living in Boston. I don’t get to see her much, but I’m sure she would love to meet you, since you could relate to her situation and all.”

Buffy had never been around another woman who had to go through something similar, not knowing exactly how to deal with that.

“Would you tell me about it now? You never talk about what happened, and I completely understand that, but I’d like us to be more involved in each other’s lives, especially the parts that we missed out on. This is it for me, Buffy. I want everything with you. I know it’s sudden, you just got out of a relationship, but if you’ll have me, I promise that I’ll never do anything to make you regret that decision.”

She thought about it, giving him a small smile. “It’s a long story.”

He returned her smile. “I have all the time in the world.”

Chapter 11

Buffy flinched when the wine glass broke, rolling her eyes as she pulled him over to the kitchen sink to run cold water on his now cut finger.

“That was really stupid.”

He shook his head. “You should have warned me to get rid of anything breakable before we talked.”

She gave a small smile. “My mistake, I forgot about your temper.”

“And he’s in jail now?”

Buffy nodded. “Yep, I don’t know for how long, but I think it’s safe to say that I’ll never see him again.” She put a band aid on his finger once the bleeding stopped, but he didn’t even notice.

“I almost wish he would show his face around here. I’d like to beat the shit out of him.”

“That wouldn’t solve anything,” she explained calmly. “He’s getting what he deserves; prison is just the place for him. I’m sure Warren has already become someone’s bitch. It couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.”

He cracked a smile, but the rage was still there. “I just…when I think about what you had to go through, and knowing I wasn’t around. God, I should have been there for you. I was such a bloody coward for leaving. Can you ever forgive me?”

Buffy waved her hand in the air. “It’s already forgiven, Spike, you need to stop feeling guilty about what happened. It’s all in the past now, we’re moving forward.”

“Could you do me a favor?” he wondered, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Don’t call me that, I’m not Spike when I’m with you. I just want to be William again.”

She smiled, kissing his injured finger. “Good, because I really missed William, but I have to admit, that name is kind of growing on me. It makes you seem sexy, dangerous, but in a good way. Not that William wasn’t sexy, but he was a different kind of sexy. Am I making any sense?”

He kissed her lips, not able to resist when she babbled like that. “You are so adorable.” She blushed, which proved his point. “Things are going to be different from now on. I promise you, Buffy, I’m not going anywhere. Never again, you’re stuck with me.”

“That works out nicely, then.” She kissed him this time, and no more words needed to be said.


* * * * *


“Okay, I know that I’m accepting of this now, but are the public displays of affection really necessary?”

Spike pulled his mouth away from the blonde in his lap, flashing his friend a grin. “Sorry, mate, but you know how hard it is to keep your hands off of her.”

Buffy blushed, burying her face against his shoulder. Being with William again was amazing, it had been two months since they got back together, and she didn’t regret it for a second, but still felt kind of awkward about broadcasting their newfound relationship around her ex.

Angel agreed. “I know that all too well, but you should really think about getting a room or something. It’s making me nauseous.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Oh, like watching you snog your bird doesn’t? Shut up and let me be happy for once.”

He couldn’t argue with that. Angel had been with Cordelia for a few weeks now, and they were just as nauseating of a couple. It was nice, both him and Spike being in a relationship at the same time. Even if it was with his former girlfriend, he was just glad to know that everything was going well for them.

Xander shook his head. “If anyone should be complaining, it’s me; at least you two have someone. I’ve been single for longer than I care to admit.”

“How about that phone sex operator you’ve been romancing, Harris?”

If it was possible, he blushed even harder than Buffy. “We’re not dating, obviously. It’s against the rules for her to get involved with clients; we’re not even allowed to meet. She’s just nice to talk to every now and then. Anya’s a great girl, but I have to face reality, all we’ll ever have is the phone.”

Spike smirked. “I don’t know about that, you might have more than you think.”


* * * * *


He kissed every inch of her body, delighted when she let out a gasp. Spike lifted her shirt higher, exposing her gorgeous breasts to his gaze, licking his lips at the sight of her rosy nipples. He couldn’t resist taking the delectable bud in his mouth and sucking on it, then giving the same care to the other one.

Buffy threw her head back, shutting her eyes at the sensations that went through her.

“So bloody delicious,” he commented, giving her a leer. “I wonder how the rest of you tastes.”

Buffy panicked when he reached for her panties, pushing him away. “That’s okay, you don’t really have to. I know most guys don’t like doing that.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Most guys being your wanker of an ex? I’m nothing like him, baby. Trust me, I like it just fine. You should know that.” There had to be more than just her worries that he wouldn’t enjoy going down on her, seeing as how he’d done it before, even though it felt like a lifetime ago. She was squirming and pushing at his shoulders like just the idea of him revealing her pussy to his gaze was terrifying, and he realized why once he finally moved the fabric out of the way. Spike glanced up at her in shock, noticing the tears that were now in her eyes. “Oh, sweetheart, did he do this to you?”

She nodded, avoiding his concerned look. “He…He liked to make me bleed. Pain with the pleasure, he always said it got him off, even though I didn’t want it. He never cared about what I wanted.”

Spike felt his eyes tear up, tracing over one of the scars on her thigh, feeling beyond sick about what that fucker reduced her to.

“I didn’t taste good. Warren said I had to make up for that, and he would grab a knife…”

“Stop, please, I can’t hear anymore,” he spoke up, effectively cutting her off and moving away from her.

Buffy sat up, lowering her shirt, the tears streaming down her face. “You’re disgusted with me now.”

His head shot up to stare at her, noticing the distress on her face and feeling like an utter git for making her feel worse. Spike took her in his arms, soothing her as best he could. “No, baby, I could never be disgusted with you. I’m only disgusted with what that bastard did to you. No matter what he said, he had no right to treat you that way. You didn’t do anything wrong. He was a very sick man, and he tried to bring you down with him.” Spike held her until the crying stopped, knowing that Buffy had to get it all out; she’d been keeping everything in for far too long now. Once she calmed down, he raised her head to look at him. “Is this why you never slept with Angel?”

She took in a calming breath. “Partly, I didn’t want him to know, but I also wasn’t ready. I don’t think I ever could have given myself fully to him, and that’s why I held back. I want that with you, Will, I really do, but I don’t think I’m ready yet. I hope you can understand.”

Spike nodded, kissing her forehead tenderly. “I’ll wait for as long as you need, love. There’s no hurry, I’m not going anywhere.”

Buffy sighed in relief. He said that before, but for the first time, she really believed that he was here to stay.

Chapter 12

“I guess it’s my turn now.”

She shrugged. “Only if you want to tell me, I won’t force you.”

Spike shook his head. “You shared something important about your past. Even though it’s still hard for me to think about, I want you to know.” He took a deep breath before starting this particular conversation. “Her name was Drusilla, and she was one reason of why I chose to leave England. I met her about four years ago, at the time I wasn’t looking for anything. My heart was always with you, but she completely took me by surprise. I loved her. As much as I could, anyway, but I just wanted to forget about everything. She was a good distraction, for a little while at least. We were together for about a year. Dru wasn’t all there, she would constantly go on about the bloody stars and sunshine, how I would get burned by it, whatever that meant. Apparently she spent some time in a mental institution, but I didn’t care. I wanted to help her, so that’s what I devoted most of my time to. I knew I was getting in way over my head, she started to be too much for me to handle, and I couldn’t do it alone anymore. We fought constantly, and she would always accuse me of things that I didn’t do, like how she caught me cheating on her with a friend of hers, which never even happened. I talked to the bint once, and to her that meant I was being unfaithful. I lost it when she said I didn’t love her. I told her she was right. I told her that I never loved her, and that I was only with her because I felt sorry for her. It was partly true, but I should have never said it. She was sick and needed help, but as usual, I let my anger get the best of me. I just got so frustrated, and it didn’t stop there. I told her that she was the worst bloody thing that ever happened to me, that I wish I never met her and wanted to go back to the life I had before she came into it. I couldn’t stop, not even the sight of her tears could convince me. The things I said, whether I meant them or not was completely out of line.” He paused; shutting his eyes of the pain that year caused him, opening them again when he felt Buffy’s warm hand squeeze his.

“It’s okay; you don’t have to say anything else.”

He brought her hand to his lips, placing a kiss to her palm. “I need to get it out. I’ve come this far, I might as well finish.”

She nodded, keeping his hand in hers and waiting for him to continue.

“After our verbal sparring match, Drusilla smacked me hard in the face, and then took off. I waited days before going after her, which I really shouldn’t have done, but I knew it was important to give her space when she got like that. When I finally got to her apartment, there were police cars out front. I saw Drusilla being put in an ambulance. I asked what happened, but no one would tell me. It wasn’t until I got to the hospital that I found out she slit her wrists. A neighbor found her bleeding to death in the bathroom. I waited around for what seemed like forever, but Dru didn’t make it. I never stopped blaming myself for that. I knew she wasn’t stable, and I should have never let her leave so upset. The worst of it was that she didn’t only kill herself. I found out that same day that she was pregnant with my child, and there was no doubt it was mine. Drusilla never would have been involved with someone else, not in the state she was in. I left in a daze after that, went home and practically destroyed everything I could get my hands on, not to mention drinking every bit of liquor I had. I handled her funeral arrangements once I sobered up, since she didn’t really have any family. I paid my respects, and then I left as soon as she was in the ground. It may seem heartless, but I just had to get away, even though I had no destination in mind. It was then that I thought of Sunnydale, the last place I was truly happy. I came back with a plan to start over; it didn’t even occur to me that you might still be here. I had this picture in my head of you off traveling the world, married with a few little tykes of your own. It wouldn’t be the first time I was wrong.”

Buffy smiled sadly through her tears. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but for what it’s worth, I’m really glad you came back.” After everything he confessed to her, there was no way she could tell him the rest of her story. Not just yet, anyway.

He kissed her, putting all of his emotions behind the gesture. “You know that I love you, right? What I had with her, it doesn’t even compare. I didn’t love her, and she knew that. I tried so hard, but I just couldn’t. I don’t think she really loved me, either. She needed someone to depend on, and I was there when no one else was. I need you to know how much I love you, Buffy. I’m not expecting for you to say it back, but you need to know how I feel before we go any further. This is it for me. There is no doubt in my mind that you’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

Buffy wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest, the tears still flowing freely. “I love you, too. I never stopped, no matter how much I wanted to. You were still all I thought about.”

Spike returned the embrace, kissing the top of her head. “Do you remember when we first met?”

She laughed, glancing up at him. “How could I forget? You were being shoved in your locker by Riley Finn, the biggest, dumbest jock at Sunnydale High. I dated that moron, so I knew how to handle him.”

He grinned at the memory. “Yeah, like saying you would tell everyone he had a tiny dick if he didn’t leave me alone.”

“It’s a good thing he worried so much about his reputation. And trust me, I wouldn’t have been lying,” she said, indicating with her fingers just how small Riley’s manhood really was.

Spike held her closer. “I should have been offended being rescued by a girl, but when I first saw you, I was absolutely speechless. You were by far the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, and I knew right then that you were completely out of my league. I figured that was the last time I would see you, but you never gave up after that. You went out of your way to befriend me, the freaky new kid, even though your friends wouldn’t approve. I fell in love with you at first sight, but it was witnessing how selfless you were that really sealed the deal. You were the most popular girl in that school, and you never once looked down on anyone who was different. How could I not love you?”

“Sometimes I wish I was still that girl,” she whispered, turning away from him. “She was strong, independent, never would have let anyone walk all over her, but after high school, it’s like all of that changed. I didn’t even know who I was anymore.”

“I know I’m mostly to blame for that and I’m so bloody sorry…”

Buffy held her hand up, cutting him off. “It wasn’t just you. Dealing with my mom’s illness, her death, it was all just too much. It was like a part of me died with her, and yeah, losing you broke my heart, but I could have probably managed if I still had her to lean on. God, I’m so sick of crying. It feels like that’s all I’ve been doing lately,” she finished, wiping away her traitorous tears. “We’re moving on now; it’s all in the past. Are we done with memory lane? I’m getting hungry.” Her stomach growling proved that a second later.

He smiled, helping her off of his bed. “That you are, let’s see about getting some nourishment for your belly.”

Chapter 13

It was safe to say that no eating took place, instead Spike had Buffy on top of his kitchen counter as he continued to kiss the breath out of her.

Her panties were pushed aside, three long fingers stroking her folds, and this time freaking out was the last thing she had in mind.

“That’s it, baby, let yourself go. I’ll catch you,” Spike whispered huskily in her ear.

Buffy came hard then, drenching his fingers of her juices, which he immediately put in his mouth.

“Bloody delicious, you always have been.”

She blushed, still not used to a man finding the taste of her satisfying.

He helped her down from the counter, kissing her mouth passionately, and gracing her with a smile. “Okay, now it’s time to feed you.”


* * * * *


“You did what? I told you not to get involved.”

Spike shrugged. “Yeah, and I chose not to listen. You’re bloody miserable, Harris. I’m only helping you out here.”

Xander was about to retaliate, but the gorgeous blonde standing behind his friend put anything else he would have said on hold.

Spike grinned at the other man’s reaction, making the introductions. “Xander Harris, meet Anya Jenkins, I’m sure you two have lots to talk about.”

When Xander finally came out of his trance, he grabbed Spike’s arm before he could take off. “How do you even know her?”

He winked. “Let’s just say I have connections.”

Xander let him walk away then, nervously staring at the woman who had given him many moments of pleasure over the phone, never expecting to actually get the chance to meet her in person.

She flashed him a bright smile. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I know it’s against the rules and all, but I decided to make an exception. I thought your voice was sexy, but you’re also very pleasant to look at. You want to give me orgasms now? I only have a few hours before I have to get back to work.”

Xander wasn’t one that needed to be told twice as he pulled her over to his bedroom, shutting the door behind them.


* * * * *


“Is Tara coming by tonight?”

Spike nodded, settling next to her. “Yeah, she said they were coming over for dinner.” His sister moved out a month ago once she found a place of her own, deciding that she wanted to stay in town, but couldn’t impose on him any longer, even though he told her many times that it was no imposition, she still wouldn’t have it.

Buffy smiled. “Good, I miss her, and Amanda. Do you ever think of having one of your own?”

He cuddled her to his side. “Every bloody second, especially if it’s with you. It pains me that I never got to know my child, but I couldn’t imagine having a life with Drusilla. I don’t think she had one maternal bone in her body, but you would make an amazing mother. I already know that, all I have to do is watch you with my niece, and she already loves you.”

“She’s an amazing kid. How is Tara doing?”

“Pretty well, the divorce is final, and she’s just trying to get on with her life, take it one step at a time. She even told me that she already met someone. I can tell she seems a bit nervous about introducing me, but I don’t know why. It’s not like I’m going to threaten the bloke. I might give him the evil stare, but that’s about it,” Spike explained.

Buffy sat up, taking in a deep breath. “I have to talk to you about something. Tara told me about this new person in her life, and she never said I couldn’t tell you, so I figured it was okay. Actually, I think she wanted me to tell you, just so she wouldn’t have to. She’s afraid you’re going to freak out.”

Spike was even more confused. “Why would I do that? Anyone has to be better than that wanker she was married to.”

“All right, but just keep that in mind. This is the first time she’s been happy since leaving her husband, and since I believe her significant other is coming with them tonight, I better get this out now. She doesn’t have a new boyfriend.” A pause. “It’s a woman, Willow Rosenberg, she said her name was. They’ve been seeing each other for about three weeks now.”

Spike’s eyes widened, that being the last thing he expected. He gave it some thought, a smile forming on his face. “Well, that’s something, if a man does you wrong, I guess that would be the most logical choice.”

Buffy shook her head. “Not for me, no matter how many men have screwed me over. I can’t even imagine being with another woman, it would be too weird.”

He wiggled his eyebrows. “Oh, I can imagine it just fine. Hey, look at that, I’m imagining it right now.”

She swatted his arm, rolling her eyes. “You’re such a pig.”

“Oink oink, baby, but really, I can’t believe she was worried about telling me that. She’s my little sister; I’m always going to love her. How does Amanda feel about this?”

Buffy shrugged. “Tara explained it to her as best she could. She knows that her parents aren’t getting back together, and from what Tara told me, Amanda already adores Willow.”

He was glad for that, and when they came over later that night, Spike greeted Willow with a warm smile and hug, already welcoming her to the family. The red head blushed as bright as her hair, but she just returned his smile with a soft thank you.


* * * * *


It was a hot Saturday afternoon; everyone was enjoying a nice swim in Angel’s pool, while the man of the house was currently sitting on a lounge chair, Cordelia perched at his side.

Buffy watched them with a smile; she had to admit they looked really cute together.

“Oh my God, this house is so huge. I should seriously consider dating a lawyer.”

Cordelia gave her boyfriend an apologetic expression. “I sort of invited Harmony over. I hope that’s okay.”

Angel nodded, the girl was a complete ditz, but she never gave him a hard time. Spike, on the other hand.

“Oh, bloody hell,” he cursed when the busty blonde made her way to the backyard, wearing a skimpy bikini.

“Blondie Bear!” she screeched, wrapping her arms around him. “How come you never call me?”

Spike pried her off of his body, noticing the angry look on Buffy’s face. “So many reasons,” he muttered.

“I miss you, Spikey. It’s been so long since we last slept together.”

“Right, nice seeing you again, I’ll just be elsewhere now.” He quickly moved away from her, grabbing Buffy’s arm and pulling her into the house, where they would have some privacy. “Bloody annoying bint, I thought I was rid of her.”

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. “You slept together, huh?”

“It was only once, and I was completely pissed at the time. I hardly even remember it, but ever since then, she’s been constantly nagging me. Why do you think I spend so little time at the law firm? It’s to avoid ever having to run into her.”

“Does she know how you feel? I got the impression that she expected for more to happen between you two,” Buffy stated.

Spike shook his head. “I don’t know how much clearer I can be. I told her it meant nothing, but she just accused me of playing hard to get. I run away whenever I see her in town, or the occasional time I would visit Angel at work, I always make sure she’s nowhere around.”

Buffy would have laughed at the situation, if she wasn’t so bothered by it. “That’s ridiculous; you can’t keep hiding from her.”

Spike nodded. “You’re right; this has gone on long enough.” He took her hand in his, leading her back outside, and right over to the bane of his existence. “Harm, this is Buffy, I’m sure you’ve met before, but she’s my girlfriend now. She has been for a few months. It’s very serious and nothing will ever happen with us again, I hope you can understand that.”

Harmony shrugged. “I know you’re together. I’m not interested in you like that anymore, I’m seeing someone now.”

If it was possible, he felt even more ridiculous. “Oh, well, that’s good to know. I’m going for a swim.” Spike jumped in the pool, staying down for as long as he could before breathing became an issue.

Harmony turned to Buffy. “Did he really think I still wanted to be with him? I mean, he’s good, but he’s not that good. A girl has needs, and there’s only so much chasing I could do. I’m not a complete idiot that I don’t know when a guy’s not interested.”

Buffy smiled, this girl wasn’t all bad. She just shook her head in amusement, and then dived in after her embarrassed boyfriend.

Chapter 14

“You’ve seen this guy before. What was he like?”

Angel raised his eyebrows. “Warren? Your typical lowlife, the kind who thinks all men are better than women. That women are meant to be our slaves, and nothing else. I saw some of those tapes of his, they were revolting. One involved a girl being chained to his bed as he whipped her, yelling at her to call him Master, she looked no more than seventeen. The fact a lot of those girls were underage is what helped us put him away. I swear, if I saw a tape like that involving Buffy, no power in this world would have stopped me from killing him.”

Spike clenched his fists at his side, knowing that if Angel didn’t kill that fucker, he sure as hell would have, damn the consequences. “Whether she was on tape or not, he caused her a lot of damage. I’ve seen the scars. Is there any chance of him making bail?”

Angel shook his head. “Believe me, he’s not getting out.”

Spike was relieved for that, even though he wanted nothing more than to make that wanker feel all the pain he put his girl through, but she was right, that wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make him feel a whole lot better for not being there for her. “I wanted to thank you for helping her, being what she needed. I know you treated her right, and I really appreciate it. I know it wasn’t your intention, but thanks for bringing her back to me.”

“You’re right, it wasn’t my intention, but when we were together, there was a part of her that would always belong to you. I couldn’t compete with that, but it doesn’t matter now, everything worked out for the best. I might have never realized how much Cordelia means to me otherwise.”

Spike nodded, glad everything worked out the way it did, and that he didn’t have to lose his best friend in the process.


* * * * *


“Damn, chick, watch where you’re going!”

Buffy stumbled back after crashing into the dark haired girl, an apologetic look on her face. “Sorry, I didn’t see you.”

She shrugged. “It’s cool, just pay better attention. I could have had a knife or something, you can never be too careful.”

That made Buffy take another step back, her eyes widening. This woman didn’t look dangerous, but you could never tell these days. She sighed in relief when Spike finally made his way over to her, not even acknowledging the other woman as he bent down to give her a kiss.

“Well, what do we have here? I remember you.”

Spike turned to the brunette, recognition forming on his face. “It’s Faith, right?”

She nodded, flashing him a seductive smile. “It’s nice to know that I wasn’t forgettable.”

Buffy was confused as to how they knew each other, but Faith spoke again before she could ask.

“I’m a stripper; your boy here came in for a bachelor party a few months ago. I never forget a face, especially not when it belongs to someone who turned me down. That doesn’t happen often, and I’m guessing you’re the reason,” she finished, looking Buffy up and down, licking her lips. “I definitely approve.”

Buffy blushed under her gaze, not used to being appraised by another woman.

“I go both ways. If you two are interested in a little threesome fun, don’t hesitate to call me,” Faith said, handing Spike her card, and giving them a wink before taking off.

Buffy watched her go in shock, shaking her head. “Did that really just happen?”

Spike chuckled. “I’m afraid so. That is one bloody scary bint,” he stated, ripping the card in half and throwing the pieces to the floor. “You wanna get out of here now?”

She nodded, not one to be asked twice. “God, yes.”


* * * * *


He kissed up her body, going slow in case it became too much for her, but his girlfriend was just full of surprises.

“I’m so tired of waiting.”

Spike raised his eyebrows. “Do you mean that? There’s no hurry, love. If you don’t feel up to it, we don’t have to go all the way yet.”

She let out a breath. “I’m twenty-seven, I’m not a naïve teenager anymore, and it’s not like we’ve never had sex before. I’m tired of being afraid of it. Yes, I’ve had a shitload of bad relationships, but who hasn’t? I’m so tired of living in the past. The only way for me to finally get over everything is to just give in, to stop being afraid. I know you won’t hurt me.”

He shook his head, pecking the tip of her nose. “I won’t hurt you, sweetheart. Never again, you have my word on that.”

Buffy nodded. “I’m ready now, no regrets.”

It had been so long since he had her in his arms, and he would do anything to keep her there. This was it for him, no going back. Clothes were removed and thrown to the floor, so there was nothing left between them. The scars pained him to see, but they were a part of her now, and there was no part of her that he didn’t love. Sooner or later they would heal, and she could truly start over. He thanked God every day that she chose to do it with him.

Spike suckled her tits, getting them nice and wet, two fingers sliding into her pussy, feeling how ready she was for him. A few seconds later, he replaced his fingers with his tongue, slowly pushing deep inside of her, delighted by the sounds of her soft moans. He licked up her slit, drinking up the delicious cream that gushed out of her, not letting any of it go to waste.

Buffy nearly blacked out from the intense orgasm, coming down from her high a moment later, and noticing the pleased expression on his face.

Spike touched his lips to hers before she could respond, letting her get a taste of herself. It was the best bloody thing he’d ever had in his mouth, and he wanted to share that with her. He pulled away, stroking his cock a few times, and positioning his member at her entrance. He gave her one more look, knowing that if she said the words, he would stop here, but a silent nod was his only response. In one quick thrust, Spike was buried fully inside of her pussy, his head nestling against her neck in pure bliss. It had been far too long.

Buffy threw her head back, holding him to her, and running her hands down his body.

Spike made his thrusts firm, but kept things at a slow pace. He wanted this to last. He vaguely remembered whispering words of love and devotion in her ear, but didn’t know for sure what he was saying, one look at the tears in her eyes proved that it was the right thing.

“Oh, William, I love you.”

His tears matched hers as they rode out their orgasms together, both sighing in contentment.

The second time was faster, rougher, but the love would always be there. He pounded into her hard, and she did everything to drive him forward.

“Spike, fuck, right there!”

He grinned; maybe hearing her call him by his nickname wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

Chapter 15

“So, what do you think about moving in together?”

Buffy took a sip of her water, then spit it right out, nearly choking in the process. “Where did that come from?”

Spike shrugged. “We’ve been dating for almost six months now; I figured that would be the next logical step. We spend all of our time together, anyway. Wouldn’t it be easier to just stay at one place?”

She thought about it. “Okay, but who would be the one moving? I can’t leave my mom’s house, Will. It’s all I have left of her.”

“I’m not asking you to. I’ll just move in here, it’s the best choice. This place is bigger than mine, it’s closer to work. My apartment doesn’t hold any sentimental value, I wouldn’t be sad to give it up.”

“And that’s not just because Harmony knows where you live?” she asked slyly.

He rolled his eyes. “Aren’t you done teasing me about that? I know it was petty of me to still believe she was interested, but she’s always around, what was I supposed to think?”

“I don’t know. How about the fact you hang out with Angel, who’s dating Cordelia, who also happens to be best buds with Harmony, hence her always being around?”

Spike grinned, attacking her with his fingers since he knew how ticklish she was. “You’re enjoying this far too much, missy.”

Buffy laughed, trying to get away from him, but he was too strong. “Stop, I give already!”

He let her go, kissing the tip of her nose.

“You don’t play fair,” she said with a pout.

He winked. “All’s fair in love and war, baby.”

Buffy rolled her eyes, jumping off the bed after she heard a noise outside, peering through the window. “Oh, look, new neighbors. I was starting to think no one would buy the house next door. Some guy just got out of a moving truck, that’s a pretty big house for one person. I wonder if he’s married or something, maybe he has kids.” Her eyes widened when they made contact with the stranger, and his didn’t seem to be looking away. “Um, why is he staring at me?”

“Probably the fact you’re standing there completely naked.”

She squeaked, quickly moving away from the window and diving under her bedspread. “God, how did I forget that?”

Spike joined her a second later. “Maybe because you’re so used to being naked with me now, it’s just a natural thing.”

Buffy blushed, covering her face. “Well, that’s a great first impression. Someone finally moves in to this neighborhood, and I’ve already flashed him.”

“Nothing says welcome to your new home quite like that,” Spike claimed, dodging the pillow that flew at his head.


* * * * *


“You’re moving in together? I never thought I would see the day that you would commit to someone long enough to actually live with them.”

“Buffy’s different, mate, you know that. I can hardly spend one minute without her, and now I’ll get to see her even more,” Spike explained.

Angel nodded, changing the subject. “I haven’t seen much of Xander lately. What’s he been up to?”

Spike grinned. “Busy with Anya, if I had to take a guess. I think he’s spent every night with her since they met. I don’t even know if she’s a phone sex operator anymore.”

“Which brings me to my next question, how do you know her?”

Spike rubbed the back of his neck. “Let’s just say that Harris isn’t the first person she broke the rules for, I used to be a caller.”

His eyes widened. “You’ve slept with her? Why does that not even surprise me?”

“It was only once,” he amended, but that was starting to be pretty obvious by now. Drusilla and Buffy were the only two women he had ever been with more than once. Spike was really glad to be done with that lifestyle. “She was a fun girl and what I needed at the time, but we both knew it would never happen again. When I found out Xander was talking to her, I could tell how much he really liked her, so I made it possible for them. They make way more sense than we ever did.”

Angel laughed. “You’re like a real matchmaker now, in your own twisted way. Getting Xander and Anya together, making me realize my feelings for Cordelia, of course that was because you wanted my girlfriend at the time, so it was purely for selfish reasons.”

“Hey, it all worked out, you should be thanking me. I saved you from what could have been a lifetime of misery.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Nice, I’m sure Buffy would appreciate that.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean. Neither of you were really happy, and now you are, mission accomplished.”

Angel patted his friend on the back. “Where would I be without you? Anyway, what’s this about Buffy’s new neighbor?”

He groaned. “Adam, I think that’s what she said his name was. Some bloke who decided to buy the house next to hers, something doesn’t feel right about him. Buffy went on about how he lost his wife and daughter in a car accident last year, and now he’s looking to start over. I think he was just giving her a sob story to get laid, the bastard already saw her naked.”

“Yeah, that’s probably more than I needed to know, but not every guy is competition. Maybe he just needs a friend, you know how Buffy is. She’s very generous, and after what she went through, she’s all about helping others in need. You told me how she helped Tara cope with her abuse, and how she’s been there for Amanda.”

Spike wasn’t very convinced. He usually had good instincts, and something definitely didn’t feel right about this guy.


* * * * *


He hadn’t officially moved in yet, but they both exchanged keys about a month ago and for the first time, Spike regretted it when he entered Buffy’s house to find Adam chatting with her on the couch, laughing at something she said. He cleared his throat to get their attention.

She gave him a smile, standing up to kiss him on the cheek. “Hey, I wasn’t expecting you until later. Adam stopped by to return my cookie dish, and I guess we just lost track of time.”

Buffy being the decent person that she was just had to make cookies to welcome the new boy to the neighborhood, apparently it was the hospitable thing to do, even though the last thing he wanted was for some wanker to eat his girl’s cookies.

“I was just leaving; it’s nice to see you again. You have yourself a great girl there,” Adam stated.

All Spike did was clench his fists when Buffy walked him over to the front door, speaking up once she came back. “How long was he here for?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know, a couple hours or so. What’s the problem?”

“The problem is that I don’t trust him, and you do far too much. You don’t even know anything about this bloke, Buffy, and yet you’re already inviting him in. Things are going to be different when I’m living here.”

“What? You’re going to monitor me day and night, not letting me talk to anyone you don’t approve of? I’m a big girl, Spike; I don’t need you to coddle me. I can make my own decisions. If you’re going to be living here, you have to respect that. I lived a whole life without you, for ten years, and I did just fine. Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of having you here all the time, but there has to be some boundaries. I’ve spent every previous relationship letting the man call the shots and basically run my life, but I’m not that girl anymore. I’m done taking orders.”

Spike nodded. “I know you’re not, and the last thing I want is to control you. I just worry about you, that’s never going to change.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist. “I like that you worry, but you don’t have to worry so much. And you don’t have to be jealous of Adam, or any other guy, you’re the only one I want.”

He hugged her to him, kissing the top of her head. The worry would always be there, but she was in his arms now, and that was the only thing that mattered.

Chapter 16

“I don’t like this, Angel. That wanker is always around. The way he looks at her, something doesn’t feel right.”

“You’re just being paranoid,” Angel explained to his agitated friend. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

Spike shook his head. “I trust Buffy, that’s not what this is about. I don’t trust him. He’s after her, I just know he is.”

Angel nodded. “All right, let’s say you’re not completely wrong, it doesn’t mean he’s actually going to get her. Buffy’s completely devoted to you, anyone can see that.”

“She might not give in, but men tend to be dangerous when they’re denied what they want. After what Warren put her through, I don’t trust another male with her, not unless it was you or Xander. This guy is a little too interested, but I don’t think Buffy can see it. This last week, I can feel her pulling away from me. She’s more distant than usual, and when I ask her what’s wrong, she just gives me some rot about everything being fine, but I know it’s not. I haven’t officially moved in yet, but it seems like she might have changed her mind about that. What if he said something to upset her?”

Angel shrugged. “I really don’t know what to tell you, but if that was the case, don’t you think Buffy would have mentioned it?”

Spike let out a breath. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”


* * * * *


The silent treatment was really starting to get to Spike, needing to say something before he exploded.

“Are you sure everything’s okay?”

Buffy gave him a smile. “Of course, why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know, you tell me. You’ve been quiet, distant, are you changing your mind about us living together?” he wondered.

She avoided his gaze, glancing back up a moment later. “Don’t you think it might be too soon? We’ve only been together a few months.”

“You didn’t think it was too soon a week ago. Are you sure there’s something you’re not telling me?”

Buffy got up, shaking her head. “I’m tired; we can talk about this later. Right now, I just want to get some sleep.”

Spike watched her head up the stairs, having a feeling that she didn’t want him to join her tonight.


* * * * *


“Warren had a visitor recently, the first one since he’s been locked up. He has a brother that went missing right after Warren was sent to prison. We didn’t think much about it before, but I have a feeling that’s who the visitor was. We don’t know of any other living relatives. This could be a problem, if the brother is as sadistic as he is.”

Spike raised his eyebrows. “Do you really think that? Why am I just now hearing about it? Who is this bloke?”

“We don’t know. I didn’t say anything sooner as to not worry you in case it was nothing, but he was caught on the security cameras,” Angel commented. “They’re sending over a fax, so we can keep an eye out for him. He went into hiding after the arrest, there has to be a reason as to why he’s making his presence known now, and I’m determined to find out what that is.”

Spike nodded, really having a bad feeling about this.


* * * * *


“You’re what?” he asked, still in shock by what she just told him.

Buffy packed up her things that she left at his apartment. “I’m breaking up with you. Everything is just too much right now, I can’t do it anymore.”

Spike shook his head. “No, I won’t accept that. You haven’t been yourself lately; something else is going on here. Why don’t you just talk to me about it?”

She turned to look at him, wiping a few tears away. “What difference would that make? I’ve been in way over my head here, Spike. We don’t belong together; I don’t think we ever did. I’m sorry, but my mind is made up. Please, just let me go. It’s the best thing for both of us.”

He grabbed her arm before she could take off. “I lost you once, and I’ll be damned if that happens again. What we have is forever, you know that. Why are you doing this?”

Buffy pulled her arm out of his grasp, taking in a deep breath. “I don’t love you,” she got out, tears streaming down her face. “I never did. It would be best if you didn’t come after me, we’re over. I don’t ever want to see you again.”

Spike let her go then, feeling his entire world collapse.


* * * * *


“And that was it, she just left. What the hell is going on? Things have been going so well for us, and then all of a sudden she’s not happy and wants to break up? I don’t buy that. You didn’t see the look on her face. She was utterly heartbroken, like she couldn’t get the words out.”

Angel gave his friend a concerned expression. “Are you sure everything has been going well? Maybe the idea of moving in together really was too soon, she could have just panicked.”

“I won’t believe that,” Spike replied. “She was happy about it, it’s just this last week that she’s been pulling away. I wish I knew what happened, but I have to get her back. This can’t be the end.”

Angel was about to respond when a fax came through, the one he’d been waiting for. He took it out, looking it over unwaveringly. “I guess this is our guy. I’ve never seen him before.”

Spike ripped the paper out of Angel’s hand, a grim look forming on his face; suddenly everything became clear as he spat one word. “Adam.”


* * * * *


Buffy flinched when he caressed her cheek. She couldn’t believe this was happening to her, and she had to hurt the man she loved because of it.

Adam grinned, pulling her further into the house. “You did very well. My brother taught me everything he knows, and since he can’t be here to get his own revenge, you’ll just have to deal with me. I wish I could have seen that loser’s face when you told him things were over, poor bastard won’t be much of an issue anymore. A girl like you could do so much better; I just may have to see what my brother found so fascinating about you. If you thought his methods were perverse, you haven’t seen anything yet.”

She cried out when he grabbed her and yanked her up the stairs, cuffing her to the bed post once they reached his room.

He graced her with a twisted smirk, trailing a knife down her side. “Now, let’s see if you’re a screamer.”

Chapter 17

Buffy entered the house after getting no response from her knocks, surprised that the door was unlocked.

“Adam? Are you here? I got your message.” She was once again met with silence, starting to get a really bad feeling. Buffy was prepared to spend a quiet night at home, when she got Adam’s frantic message on her answering machine. He seemed upset, and was all about how he needed to see her. Buffy should have known something wasn’t right, and really should have waited for Spike, but knew he would be working late. She was about to turn around and leave, when a body slammed her into a wall, pressing her face against the hard surface.

“You wouldn’t leave a man in need, would you, Buffy?”

When he jerked her around to face him, gone was the sweet man she had met only days before. Now he looked devious, demented, and Buffy knew that she was in trouble. “What do you want?”

Adam grinned. “I’m glad you ask. You’ve been a very bad girl, and you need to pay for that. Warren was my older brother, our parents died in a horrible car crash when we were kids, and he’s the only one who’s been there for me. Then you had to go and get him put away, which I can’t say I really care for. We have big plans for you, but since he’s still locked up, I’ll just have to carry on his wishes. You’re going to do everything I say, or I’ll kill your boyfriend and make you watch while I do it. And don’t think I’ll stop there, I’ll kill his sister, her daughter, your friends, everyone who means anything to you will be dead, unless you cooperate. Do we understand each other?”

Buffy tried to pull away, but it was no use, he was too strong. “What do I have to do?” she asked in a small voice.

He loosened his grasp a bit, giving her another sadistic grin. “You’re going to put doubts in Spike’s head. I want him to think twice about your relationship, and when I tell you to, you’re going to end things with him. When that’s done, you’ll come back here, and I’ll give you the rest of your punishment.”

She shook her head, a look of fear now clouding her features. “No, don’t make me do that. I can’t. Please, I’ll do anything else.”

Adam slammed her back against the wall. “You don’t, and he dies. Would you rather his blood be on your hands? It’s just a simple break up, I’m sure pretty boy will be over it fast. Men like him don’t tend to stick around very long, anyway. I would be doing you a favor.”

Buffy was not going to cry, she would never give him that satisfaction. She nodded instead, taking in a deep breath. “Fine, I’ll do it. Just don’t hurt him.” He let her go, and before she could make a break for it, grabbed her arm in a bruising grip.

“One more thing,” he spat, getting in her face. “If you screw this up, go to the cops, or tell anyone about our little conversation, you will be very sorry. Do I make myself clear?”

She nodded again, running out of the house once he released her, and never looking back.


* * * * *


Buffy pulled on her handcuffs, but they wouldn’t budge. The key was on his desk, which was across the room; there was no hope of reaching it. It was a good thing that the nightstand was next to the bed, and she was able to get a hold of the phone. He only cuffed one of her hands; luckily the other one was free. Adam claimed he had things to take care of, which was why she found herself alone in his room for the last hour, and very grateful that he decided to postpone torturing her.

She grabbed the phone and quickly dialed Spike’s cell, praying that he wasn’t too mad at her to answer. He picked up after the second ring, but the phone was thrown away before she could respond, not realizing that Adam came back.

“That was really stupid,” he growled, cuffing her other hand to the bed post as well. “I guess I shouldn’t have trusted you to stay put. Not to worry, if anyone shows up, there won’t be much of you left. I suppose I shouldn’t put this off much longer, I have yet to make you pay for my brother.”

Buffy had it, and wasn’t one to think before she acted. Her legs were free and with all the strength she possessed, she lifted up her foot and kicked him right in the balls, which caused him to move away from her, groaning in agony as he clutched his privates. “You sick fuck, your brother was a monster, and you’re not that far off! You want to be together again so badly? Go join him in a jail cell, you asshole! Spike will come for me. Your first mistake was not taking me somewhere else. This is the first place he’s going to look, moron.”

Adam chuckled, the pain having eased a bit. “You are a feisty thing, now I know why Warren chose you.” He got up, smacking her hard across the face. “Don’t do that again. Did you ever think that maybe I want him to show up? I can just see it now; the heroic boyfriend comes to save the damsel in distress, only to get a bullet in the brain for his troubles. It’s rather poetic, don’t you think? Besides, you broke his heart, why would he risk his life for you now?”

Her eyes widened when he pulled out a gun, aiming it in her direction.

“Oh, don’t worry, this isn’t for you. Getting shot is too fast of a death; I want yours to go very slowly.”


* * * * *


“Are you sure he has her at his house? That doesn’t seem very smart.”

“He’s not a smart bloke,” Spike stated. “Yes, I’m sure, someone called me from that house, and I know it was Buffy. He got to her before she could say anything. I swear, if that bloody bastard has done anything to her, I’ll rip his fucking head off.”

Angel placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder, while trying to keep an eye on the road. “Calm down, the police are headed there now. They’ll probably get there before we do.”

It wasn’t fast enough. He wanted to get there twenty minutes ago; his girl’s life depended on it. Spike jumped out the second they pulled up to the house, making his way over to a cop car that was already parked out front. “Has anyone gone inside yet?”

The officer shook his head. “We’ve seen situations like this before, it would be too risky to just ambush him, the hostage could be injured. We need to get contact with the inside, possibly talk some sense into the kidnapper so we won’t have to deal with a bloodbath.”

Spike knew that wasn’t likely to happen. One way or another, he was going inside, but he would wait for more back up first. Another police car drove up shortly after, followed by a third, but when a loud scream came from the house, Spike instantly knew it was Buffy, and all bets were off.

Chapter 18

Spike vaguely heard the screams behind him as he crashed through the front door, yelling Buffy’s name. He took the stairs two at a time, until he came across a closed door that he assumed to be Adam’s. He kicked the door down, only to be met with a terrified Buffy being held in Adam’s grasp, a knife at her throat.

“Well, look who decided to join us,” Adam spat, shaking his head in disgust. “The girl completely rejects you, and you still show up to save her? That’s pathetic, you should want the bitch to die after the way she treated you.”

Spike noticed the blood dripping down Buffy’s arm, clenching his fists at the thought of that bastard cutting her, but he tried to remain calm. “Let her go. The police are waiting outside the house. You’re already in a lot of trouble, don’t make it worse. No one has to get hurt.”

Adam grinned, pressing the blade harder against her neck. “I’m as good as dead if I walk out of here. I might as well take someone with me.”

Spike had to think quickly, but before he could, he noticed the look in Buffy’s eyes change. Before he could yell at her to stop, she was stomping hard on Adam’s foot, elbowing him in the stomach while she was at it. Spike used that to his advantage, making a grab for her and shoving her to the floor, taking the other man down with him. He punched Adam repeatedly in the face, not letting up until the bloke was good and bloody, and then immediately went to Buffy’s side, taking her in his arms.

Once Buffy was safe, the dam broke and she sobbed against his chest. “I’m so sorry,” she claimed, looking up at him. “I didn’t mean anything I said.”

He tried to soothe her, kissing every inch of her face. “I know you didn’t, baby. It’s all over now.” If Spike had his way, he would never let her go again, but some people just couldn’t stay down. He noticed Adam start to rise, aiming a gun in their direction. With quick reflexes, he changed their positions as the gun went off, hitting him in the shoulder.

“Spike!”

All hell broke loose when the Sunnydale police department finally burst through the door, taking Adam back down. He was cuffed and dragged out of there, struggling along the way.

“He’s been shot,” Buffy told them.

Two officers helped Spike up, leading him out of the room and carefully down the stairs. “We’ll take him to the nearest hospital. You should come along, ma’am. You’re hurt as well, and we would like to get your statement.”

“I’ll take her,” Angel spoke up.

Buffy threw her arms around her ex-boyfriend, glad to see another familiar face. The last thing she wanted was to be away from Spike now, but she let them put him in a police car, and then drive off soon after.

Angel placed his arm around her. “He’ll be okay, Spike is strong. You need to get that checked out,” he said, indicating the bloody gash on her arm.

Buffy didn’t care about that at the moment, she hardly felt any pain. The only thing that mattered was her William.


* * * * *


“There, as good as new.”

She smiled up at the doctor who bandaged her arm. “Thank you, is my boyfriend okay?”

He returned her smile. “I would say that you are both very lucky. His arm will have to be in a cast for at least a month, but we got the bullet out, and no real damage was caused.”

Buffy sighed in relief. “Can I see him?”

“You should be resting, but I suppose that can be arranged. He’s two rooms down.”

She nodded and thanked him again, then headed over to Spike’s room to see that he was wide awake, his arm in a sling, while his other one was flipping through the channels on the small hospital screen. Buffy’s eyes teared up at the sight, which was when he finally took notice of her, a smile forming on his face.

“Hello, cutie.”

Those two words were enough to completely let the tears fall. She ran over to him, being careful of his injury as she wrapped her arms around him. “I was so worried.”

Spike kissed the top of her head, brushing the hair out of her way. “It’ll take more than a bullet to get rid of me. Are you okay?”

She laughed through her tears. “You’re the one who got shot and you’re asking if I’m okay?”

He shrugged, trailing his fingers down her arm. “I don’t mean physically.”

“I’m not going to let this get to me. I let one psycho nearly destroy my life, and I’m not about to go down that road again. If anything, this whole thing just made me stronger. I’m not the same weak, naive girl I once was. I know that now.”

Spike smiled, never feeling more proud of her. “That you aren’t. You’re a brave, beautiful, amazing woman, who I love more than anything in this world. You had me bloody terrified when I thought you really wanted to break up. I kept imagining my life without you, and I couldn’t do it. I already spent ten miserable years alone, I can’t do it again.”

She rested her head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. “You won’t have to.”

“Man, someone sure is lazy. What? Are you just going to stay in bed all day?”

Spike rolled his eyes at Angel’s idea of humor, a grin gracing his features. “Love, could you help me out?”

Without saying anything, Buffy grabbed a pillow off of his bed and whacked Angel across the face with it.


* * * * *


“Get comfortable, boys, you’ll be in here for a long time. I hope you enjoy the company,” the officer said, closing the cell door behind him.

Adam sat across from Warren, who was glaring daggers at him.

“One fucking thing I ask you to do, and what happens? You get yourself thrown in here, while Summers is out there having the time of her life. She’s probably laughing at both of us right now; you could have at least killed the little whore.”

He glared right back. “Hey, I shot her boyfriend, you’re lucky I even did that. We wouldn’t be in this mess if you didn’t get caught in the first place. Who the hell rapes little girls, and then videotapes it? You were just asking to get busted. I tried to do you a favor, don’t blame me if it didn’t go your way.”

Warren banged his head against the wall. “This is a fucking nightmare. The one good thing about being in here was that I didn’t have to deal with you every damn day.”

“Well, tough shit,” Adam snapped. “Now we’re stuck together, so you better get used to it.”

That wasn’t likely to happen, Warren knew that if he had to spend one minute alone with his brother, he’d end up killing him. Younger siblings were nothing but pests, they followed you around and wanted to be just like you, it got on his fucking nerves. Oh, yeah, he’d kill him, and it wouldn’t make one bit of a difference. He was already locked up, anyway. What more could they do to him?

Chapter 19

Spike officially moved in a couple of weeks later, after he finally got rid of the cast the doctor made him wear, and he could not be happier about it. Being away from Buffy after what happened was out of the question, if he had his way, he’d never let her out of his sight again, but Spike knew she probably wouldn’t take too kindly to that. He kept an eye on the house next door, knowing that it was up for sale, and being cautious of anyone who decided to buy it. There was no way Spike would trust the neighbors with his girl now, especially not if they were men.

“Shit, who knew you had so much crap? Luckily this place is big enough for the both of you.”

Spike grinned, turning to address his friend. “Where the hell have you been, Harris? I was about to send out a search party. Have you and Anya been shagging in your apartment this whole time? I never knew you had it in you.”

Xander blushed, shaking his head. “Not exactly, we kind of got hitched in Vegas. It was a spur of the moment thing; we’ve been spending our honeymoon in Hawaii, which was a waste since we hardly ever left the room.”

Spike raised his eyebrows, that being the last thing he expected. “You eloped? How did that happen? You haven’t even known her that long.”

He shrugged. “When something feels right, you just have to go for it. Sorry for taking off like that, we didn’t really want to tell anyone about our plans, afraid someone would talk us out of it, but I don’t regret anything. Anya is truly amazing; I’ve never met anyone like her before. Yeah, she’s entirely too blunt sometimes, but that’s just part of her charm.”

Spike smiled, patting him on the back. “Good on you, Harris, I’m happy for you two. She’s a great woman. Not that I would really know or anything, hardly said two words to the bint, but she seems very lovely.”

“She told me you slept together.”

“Bloody hell,” Spike cursed and was about to respond, but Xander beat him to it.

“Don’t worry; I know it didn’t mean anything,” he claimed, changing the subject. “Angel mentioned about what happened here. I’m glad you’re okay. How’s Buffy doing?”

Spike took in a deep breath. “She’s fine, as far as I know. We try not to talk about it much. Buffy likes to put on a brave face, no matter how much she’s hurting, but I think she’ll be okay. It just takes time.”

Buffy chose that moment to walk in the house, smiling at the dark haired man. “Hey, Xander, I just saw Anya. I guess congratulations are in order.”

He returned her smile, accepting the hug she gave him. “Thanks, I better head back now. See you guys later.”

Buffy turned to Spike once he was gone. “Can you believe he got married?”

“I’m still trying to grasp the concept of Harris actually having a woman, let alone being married.”

“Not everyone is so against marriage, Spike. I hope you’ve gotten over that phase because I’m telling you right now, I plan on getting married one day, and I hope it’s to you,” she explained.

Spike raised his hands in surrender. “Dually noted, and I’m not so against it now. Since I have you back, it doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. You know, when the time is right.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing a brief kiss to his lips. “Good answer.”


* * * * *


Buffy’s eyes rolled back in her head as Spike feasted on her pussy, grabbing the edge of the bed when her orgasm hit.

Spike grinned in satisfaction, collecting all of the juices that gushed out of her. “Bloody best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth.”

“God, I’m completely numb.”

He chuckled, moving up to lie beside her. “You’re good on a man’s ego, I’ll give you that.”

Buffy rested her head against his chest, trying to get her breathing under control. “Do you ever think about the future?”

Spike was caught off guard by her question. “Sometimes, why do you ask?”

She shrugged, glancing up at him. “We talked about the possibility of marriage, but do you ever think about having children?”

“Of course, maybe a few years down the road. Once I know for a fact I won’t screw them up,” he said teasingly, noticing that she didn’t crack a smile. “Why are you wondering about that now?”

Buffy sat up, avoiding his gaze, and taking a deep breath before looking back at him. “Because there’s a chance that I could be pregnant.”

His eyes widened, sitting up as well. “Are you sure?”

“I’m not sure of anything, it’s just a chance. I’m a few weeks late, and that’s never happened before. It might be nothing, but I bought a pregnancy test earlier, that’s why I went out. I wanted you to be there when I took it.”

He ran his fingers through his hair, nodding after a moment. “Do you want to do that now?”

She shook her head. “I need to know first. I need to know that no matter what the results are, you’ll be okay with it. I know you said you’re not ready for a baby right now, but if I am pregnant, I just need to know that you’ll be there.”

“You think I would leave if I knew you were pregnant? No matter what happens, we’re in this together. I’m not going anywhere, you know that. Where is this coming from?”

Buffy let out the breath she didn’t even realize she was holding. “There’s something I have to tell you. I should have after you confessed about Drusilla, but I guess I didn’t know how.” A pause. “A little while after you left, I met Parker Abrams, we dated for a while, and things were great. I was finally starting to heal after losing you, and then I got pregnant. I was on the pill, and we always used condoms, so it came as a shock to me, but I was really happy. I couldn’t wait to tell Parker.” Her eyes teared up, but she was determined to get this off of her chest. “He became a completely different person when I told him, and I mean that literally. Parker was involved with drugs, and I never even knew, he picked the perfect time to be stoned off his ass. What should have been a wonderful moment quickly turned into a nightmare, he yelled, saying that I trapped him and lied about being on the pill, which wasn’t true. He didn’t want kids, and basically said it was my problem. To make a long story short, he walked out and that was the last I saw of him. He left me to raise a baby on my own, and I couldn’t handle that. I was so terrified, not ready for that kind of responsibility. It was then that I realized how much I missed you, and how I didn’t want a baby with anyone else, but it was too late. I got depressed, hardly ate, couldn’t sleep, it really took a toll on me. I was in bed one night and looked down to see my sheets covered in blood, so I called an ambulance. I was taken to the hospital, and found out not too long after that I lost the baby. I know it was all my fault; I didn’t take care of myself enough. The worst thing is that I actually felt relieved. What kind of person does that make me?”

Spike wiped his eyes of the tears that he shed during her declaration. “You were scared, it’s understandable. Fuck, that’s someone else on my list of people I would gladly murder. What is wrong with the fucking men in this world? And yeah, I’m included in that, how could we treat you so horribly? It’s not bloody fair. I’m so sorry, Buffy.”

She shook her head. “You have nothing to be sorry about. You’re one of the good ones, Will, the only one who matters. I know you never would have hurt me like that.”

“Never,” he swore, taking her in his arms. “If you are pregnant, it will be the happiest moment of my life. I’ll support you through everything; you have my word on that.”

More tears fell from her eyes as she clutched him tighter. “I know.”


* * * * *


They sat side by side, anxiously waiting for the timer to go off. When it finally did, Buffy took in a deep breath before turning to Spike.

“I guess this is it. You’ll be okay with whatever happens?”

He nodded, kissing her temple. “I’ll always be here for you.”

She nodded as well, heading into the bathroom to look at the pregnancy test, carrying it out with her and glancing up at her boyfriend. “It’s negative.”

Spike took her hand in his, pulling her back down to his side. “How do you feel about that?”

Buffy shrugged. “A little disappointed, I guess, but also kind of relieved. I do want children; I just don’t think I’m ready yet. Even though we’ve practically known each other for what seems like forever, we’re only really just starting out. I think a baby should be planned, when we’re both good and ready, and it should come after we’re married.”

Spike agreed, even though a part of him really hoped that she was pregnant, he would wait for when the time was right. “Any ideas as to when you want to get married?”

“It has to be something we both want. I don’t want you to think I expect a proposal anytime soon, I just need to know that we’re leading somewhere.”

He nodded again. “But if it was soon, would you accept it?”

“You know I would,” she claimed, without any hesitation.

Spike went over to their nightstand, searching through one of the drawers, until he came across a black box, pulling the object out and handing it to her.

Buffy took the box with shaky fingers, opening it to reveal an elegant, diamond ring. She gazed up at him, tears in her eyes. “What is this?”

He smiled. “This ring belonged to my mother; she made me promise to give it to the woman who would steal my heart one day. I’ve had it with me all this time, just waiting for the right moment to ask you.”

“Ask me what?” she wondered, needing to hear the words.

Spike kneeled down in front of her, taking the ring out of the box. “Buffy Anne Summers, will you do me the honor of being my wife?”

Buffy nodded, finding that speech was difficult at the moment, tears streaming down her face.

He kissed them away, placing the ring on her finger where it rightfully belonged. “I don’t want you to think that anything needs to be rushed. We can wait for as long as you want, there’s no hurry.”

She shook her head. “I think it’s safe to say that we won’t be waiting very long. I would have married you in high school if you asked me to.”

Spike felt tears of his own now, kissing her lips tenderly. Having her back in his life was a true blessing; there was no better feeling in the world. And this time around, he was definitely doing things right.

The End