~~Disclaimer-Joss owns all but he doesn’t own this.
This is an AU story, contains m/f, m/m, this story is a standalone. Buffy and Spike are friends, he likes boys and all she wants is him. Spike is bi-sexual and he explores it. Also some drug use.


Want Me


His smile was a beautiful but curious upturn of a mouth that most women would envy. Yes, that was the first thing that had caught her attention about him. Buffy had known other men, loved and lusted after them. But these creatures were usually visual images dispensed from her television. Never had a man attracted her so completely and blurred every line she knew existed.

Spike moved in time to the music and his natural rhythm made it even more fascinating. He pressed up against another body touching it lightly but with intent. Body against body, their lips almost touching and the temptation was clear to both. Their eyes locked and seemed to enter their own world. His power existed in that moment, in his eyes, focusing it on the body next to him. She knew that his only interest was in drawing in a conquest and making it his for a moment.

For just a moment he turned toward her and stared. She wasn't sure at first if he had seen her or she'd just imagined it. He was a real voyeur seeking an audience at every opportunity. She knew that her participation in that audience was a lonely outlet. But she didn't know what there was about him that wouldn't let her pull away from him. Perhaps it was the fantasy of becoming the body pressing his, delighting in his smell that kept her in check.

A glittering dress passed her and a familiar scent hit her senses. She couldn’t help but smile.

"Loren, you’re a vision," she said taking her eyes off of him.

"One tries, listen, next time before you go out, call me and I'll talk you out whatever ensemble you own. If you’re good I'll loan you a dress and do your makeup. I mean this outfit, you've got on should have been left in your closet as an example of what not to do." Loren discouraged.

"I'm a simple girl with even simpler tastes. Anyway wearing one of your 'ensembles' here, I'd be picked up by a pretty boy who'd be shocked in the dark when he discovered that I have no sausage." She looked down at her outfit, simple t-shirt and skirt and shrugged.

Loren laughed deep and loud, “Please, you could just tell him your penis was really small. At least you'd be with someone instead of being here-with him."

She frowned. "I am touring the hot spots with friends in an uncomplicated manner."

"Spike, is not uncomplicated, he's a slut. You’re his ride so that he can ingest any chemical he likes and still have a shoulder to carry him home. And if you hadn’t noticed the Bronze is not a hot spot it’s the only place in town for this crowd. You wouldn’t be caught dead here if it wasn’t for Spike and his sinister attraction. So what are you doing here with him?"

"Spike, well, he's a friend-” She stopped and turned her back on him.

"No, he's a lover, honey, but not yours. Oh, isn’t the view of him spectacular? And he's consistent, always a new victim on his arm and you, his faithful companion to watch over him. Can't you find anything better to do on a Friday night? “Loren asked and then ordered another drink.

"Sure, I did lots of things last year; I watched my mother die, I dated Riley and pretended I gave a damn about life. Oh yeah, I got drunk with Spike and ended up alone every night crying myself to sleep because I wanted him so bad, I couldn't-"

"Don't cry out loud, just keep it inside, and learn how to hide your feelings-" He sang.

"Shut-up, Loren, I don't like it when you burst out into song at awkward moments. So what if I'm alone, at least I'm not lonely. He calls me or he shows up out of nowhere and asks me to go out, so I go."

"Difference between, lonely and alone is the scenery. I am going to find you a nice bi-sexual pretty boy who's looking for a girl, so you can corrupt and confuse him."

"The last pretty boy I had was on my seventeenth birthday and he was a big disappointment."

"Spike, won't disappoint you, Buffy, he'll haunt you. He'll torment your dreams, deary, promising you the world-"

"He's not my type-"

Loren laughed. “He’s everybody's type, don't you think?"

"I'm different and he's different." She insisted.

"He's a predator. But in that way he is your type. You give him free reign over you."

"Is this advice free, or do you charge Doctor Loren?"

"Good advice isn't cheap, it's just painful."

The tempo of the music changed and the pair separated. Spike pushed away his companion. The slow sweet music did not suit his mood and he turned away from him. She breathed a sigh of relief until Spike outstretched a hand and motioned for her to follow.

She'd seen it played out before and she pushed forward away from Loren entranced by Spike's need. She felt helpless her hand so small in his. She knew what he wanted what he always wanted.

Loren’s voice almost squealed, "For God's sake show some self-respect...he's going to close that deal."

It was then she realized that Spike's companion was actually leading them off the dance floor.

‘I know’ she wanted to scream. She couldn't stop, not now, even now. She followed them to a room referred to as the 'den'. The den was suppose to be quiet room and it was above the cries, of 'more', 'yes' and 'now'.

The den was bathed in blue light; she entered pulling back the thick plastic covering the door. The heat of bodies was intense and the scent of pleasure was overwhelming. The smell covered her senses and it made her dizzy. She steadied herself touching the rough wall behind her. The vision of bodies writhing near her caught her off guard and claimed her eyes.

A woman sat astride a man who watched her stroking another woman. Somehow they seemed fused into one needy motion. The woman on top, her beautiful raven hair pouring down her naked back and she cried out but her screams couldn't be heard thru the music. The other woman kissed her as she road to her orgasm. The other woman a blonde with short hair was in ecstasy the man's hands buried deep inside her. They continued kissing each other in another world.

In another corner, two barely clothed women watched a man dance upon a table. His nude body perfect, tight abs and ass, the women reached out to him. He kissed each one of them, directing them to fondle him. He laughed when took turns kissing the head of clearly erect penis. As they moved in each taking a turn licking him slowly his face flushed with a smile.

She didn't need to see any of this her body was on fire whenever Spike was in the room. It didn't matter if he was dancing, sleeping or reading the paper. To look in his blue eyes was enough make her wet.

She could barely remember how her life had been before met him. She could still see him in that alley behind the Bronze greeting her with a smile as she happened upon him and the man on his knees before him. The man seeing her approach ran off.

“Nice work, luv.” Spike laughed zipping up his jeans.

Her cheeks had been bright red and before she could say anything he was gone.

It was later, much later that they became friends and he showed her a world she hadn't known that it had even existed.

She moved thru the room almost blushing and so aroused it hurt but she didn't want to stop her search. Even a moment out of Spike’s site was too much.

Spike was just steps away but in whole other dimension. She'd given away her own common sense to accommodate her desires, no his desires. Her body and mind seemed no longer her own but some willing, aching and obliging thing.

Finally she found him pressed up against a wall his companion's greedy lips kissing him roughly. Each wanted to own the other but then Spike turned his companion to the wall and his companion gave up struggling. Spike moved quickly his pants unbuttoned pushing them down with one hand and fondling his companion with the other. In that moment they were one, pressing with ferocious intent into each other.

The expression of pleasure covered his face and seemed oblivious to every act and sound around them. And she knew he did because she felt the same, everything she could hear or feel was concentrated on him and the body on his. His sexuality seemed to make her shrink, as if she had no right over her own body to relieve her suffering.

His companion pressed up against the wall, legs spread, Spike inside him and screaming in pleasure. She couldn't think, she licked her dry lips and locked eyes with Spike. He was brutal cruel and fast, his pleasure coming from the power and control. His eyes locked on hers and she couldn't have looked away if she wanted to and she didn't. Suddenly, his climax hit, the look he gave her was meant to include her not his partner. He was spent and his expressions were only content and anguish.

Something inside of her was crying out for its own release. But she was too embarrassed to even consider herself, as if she didn't matter, it was all for him. She belonged to him but he wasn't even interested in her body. No matter what she did or with or who, it would never mean anything unless it was him.

He turned away, finally from his companion; buttoning himself up and then smoothing back his white blond hair. His partner, completely ignored crumpled to the floor. Spike stepped over his used companion without another thought. She smiled.

Spike smiled at her holding out his hand and she took it gratefully. His hand, so soft, led her to a couch touching her backside as she sat down next to him. He began his familiar touches, letting his hands run freely over her body but without any real intent. He kissed her neck, cheek and even tweaked a pert nipple thru her shirt. She wanted to melt into him but she knew he'd just laugh and stop his touches. His lips touched hers opening them with his tongue. She almost swooned but then he pulled away.

"You like to watch?" He teased her whispering in her ear, his hands on her waist.

His voice was as soft as a kiss and she couldn't help but stare at his lovely mouth.

"Yes." She said meekly touching his neck.

He laughed. "What?" His lips stopped

"I...I like watching you." She lied, all she wanted or cared about were his lips on her body.

He licked his lips. "It's not polite to spy, but of course, you were invited."

He pulled away from her and she wanted to scream. But she knew this game and how he liked to play. If she protested or pretended to care he'd forget to call her or invite her into his world. And she couldn't go back to being completely alone.

He reached into his skintight leather pants and removed a small vial. He tapped it lightly and then inhaled it deeply. He handed it to her even as she moved to refuse it.

"Please...." He urged, his eyes shining.

He reached for her handing her the vial, his lips on her neck and his other hand kneading her backside. She couldn't resist, delighting in his sudden interest in her. His eyes pleaded with her to try it, just this once. She took it and followed his method.

The mixture burned her nose; mouth and throat making her feel like she was on fire. She closed her eyes, feeling his lips on her eyes, nose and finally her mouth. But the drug was in her and could barely feel anything.

"Ride it out." He ordered his lovely lips on hers.

She felt a million stars burst inside her head and shower down upon her. A smile covered her mouth and he stopped kissing her. His lips nuzzled her neck, gentlely. He could have been a vampire in that moment; she was caught in his thrall ready to bare her neck to him. Death didn't matter not when he touched her. She wouldn't have fought him; she would have sought his embrace even if it were a final one. Perhaps the idea of that mouth searching her neck for a vein was the same as any sexual act. She couldn't have wanted him more if he were some real creature of the night.

A waiter appeared, delivered a bottle of water and Spike handed him a bill and motioned him to go away. She wanted to scream at him and beg him to touch her, kiss her or hit her. She just wanted him against her feeling her. But she couldn't move.

He placed the water bottle in her hand and she stared at it.

"Drink it." He ordered after first opening it and putting it back in her hand.

She couldn't, she couldn't even move if she wanted to and all she could do was stare at the bottle.

"Shit." He muttered retrieving the bottle.

He took a drink, the water dribbling down his neck. Slowly she reached out to touch it, his skin so soft and wet. She wanted to bury her lips there to soak up the water on his skin. He bent her head back and kissed, she opened her lips and the water in his mouth passed into hers. She shuttered but didn't gag and swallowed the water down her throat. He pulled back slowly.

"I love you." She said their eyes locked.

"No, you don't. But thanks for saying it." He said laughing. Liar.

"No, I mean it- love." She insisted.

"Really? Well, then I'm going to have to have a word with the young man who cooked up this batch in my vial. You professing love is a clear indication that this product was not produced with the type of care I expect." He said retrieving the vial from his pants.

"Shut-up." She ordered and reached for a tie from the floor. The man who'd discarded it was nowhere to be found.

Instinctively she tied the tie around his eyes, forming a crude blindfold. He didn't struggle, he couldn't his laughter was uncontrollable.

She opened the vial. "Here, have some more." She urged placing the half full vial under his nose.

He inhaled deeply and went limp. She knew it was too soon for him to have more, he'd taught her about drugs. And she also knew that the drug aroused him. And before he could stop her, she began to kiss him roughly biting him in a manner she knew he liked. He moaned, deeply and failing to resist her, he returned her kiss. He tried to pull away from her but her rough lips were exciting him. He couldn't control it or her. She straddled him, letting her skirt rise up slightly.

She wanted to dominate him, she pinned back his arms wishing she could make him immobile. Her lips didn't stop even when she was sure he couldn't breath. She ripped open his shirt with one hand and fondled the hardness she felt under her. He didn't attempt to stop her too aroused now to care. She kissed and bit every of exposed area she could reach. He moaned.

She pretended that she was a man not making love but taking sex from another person. Knowing full well that she didn't have long she intensified her strokes on his still covered erection.
When he touched her shoulder she almost jumped and she slid down putting one hand against his mouth and using the other to free his cock. She guided it into her mouth immediately, her body almost shaking from the feel of him.

Her mouth was unrelenting and cruel upon him. Instead of stopping her, he pushed himself fully into her mouth and moaned. She took him letting her small hand cover what she couldn't swallow. Quickly he fucked her mouth groaning at the feeling of her exquisite mouth. She looked up long enough to see his face covered in rapture. He breathed deeply, almost biting the hand that covered his mouth. As her pace grew his hands gripped her head urging her on.

"Oh, God." He cried his voice strained and deep.

She knew he was close nothing would stop that. But then she stopped and he reached for her catching a covered breast. She moaned, his hands tried to push her back down but instead she put them on her breasts. She straddled him again, quickly her skirt around her waist. She moved her thong out of way and impaled herself on him. He groaned almost painfully, perhaps he had never known the sensation of a woman's body. His face was full of confusion. He tried to push her away, aware now of what she was doing but she stopped him with her soberest strength.

"Ride it out, Spike." She ordered him.

She rode him hard, her rhythm so rough he stopped struggling and began to enjoy it. She never stopped kissing him from the moment he was inside her and guided him to touch her breasts. He was uneducated and clumsy but it hardly mattered. He grabbed her hips suddenly guiding her onto him and changing the rhythm of their bodies to his liking. She came hard, screaming out her pleasure on him. He followed soon after but his scream was small and strained. She pulled off the blindfold and threw it down.

She looked into his face and it was red hot. He was still shaking inside her. Her greatest satisfaction was in watching him spent under her.

"I'm ready.... To drive you home, Spike." She whispered in his ear.

He stared now unable to move or speak his eyes focused on her lips. She smiled and deposited a small kiss on his lips.

She moved off him slowly and carefully repaired his clothing.

"Jesus." He fumed finally turning away from her.

Her mind was swimming as if the act had suddenly created and destroyed everything she'd ever known. But her skin felt alive and her body had captured a special warm glow. She recognized it almost immediately the feeling was victory. She had taken away his greatest strength, power, and perverted it against him. She could have easily left him then, like he had left so many before. The incredible disregard she felt for him in his moment allowed her anything. But she knew even her victory that this would pass.

She stood up, smoothed her skirt down and held out her hand to him. He slapped it away but with little strength. She extended it again and he took it reluctantly using her to help him up.

She took him out of the den, his head bent down looking at the floor. His demeanor made her want to laugh. He was shy, angry and perhaps even ashamed. She wondered how many times she'd seen him engaged in acts that would make any porn star blush. And now he was ashamed?

"Do you want me to give you a ride...home?" She asked. "Or I could just leave you here."

"And what find some nice bisexual couple who'll want me to fuck them both?" He grumbled.

She frowned. "Home or stay? You decide."

"Thanks, deary, don't forget to leave my money on the night stand." He said moving toward the exit, pulling her along with him.

A tall handsome man stopped them on the way out admiring them both. She'd heard someone call him Robin Wood.

"Hey, heard about your little show... I had no idea, Spike. Call me, Faith and I would love to see you both, in action." He offered touching him on the back.

"Freak." Spike muttered as the man walked away.

"Come on, he was cute and Faith she's so hot. Sorry." She laughed as they rushed out the door.

The cold night hit them but they were immune to it. Their hands were warm as he pulled her toward her car. She stopped, breathing in deeply letting the cold invade her lungs. He grabbed her and shoved her toward her car.

The car was under a bright light but as they approached she noticed a movement in the backseat.

"Fuck!" Spike cried realizing that a couple was inside having sex.

"God damn it, Loren, get out!" He demanded opening the car door.

Loren was fully exposed when Spike opened the door and he smiled. He pulled down his dress and smiled. Loren's frightened date exited the other side. And from behind Loren’s date looked familiar. Perhaps that was because Loren's date had been Spike's companion in the den earlier that night.

"Well, isn't that perfect?" Spike muttered.

"Spike, don’t be jealous. He was very good, by the way. You know he told me a funny tale about you two." Loren laughed.

"Get in the car." She ordered Spike. Loren stayed in and Buffy slipped behind the wheel.

They left without another word.



***********


Silence. They didn't speak, until the first traffic light 200 feet away. She shot Loren a dirty look in the mirror.

"Don't look at me like that miss, just tell me what happened or I'll never let you borrow another dress." Loren ordered.

"Loren, damn it, for once shut it." Spike ordered.

Loren fanned himself. "Well, the sexual tension in this car is stifling."

"Loren, please, I'm begging you to stop." She pleaded taking a sharp turn.

"Listen, Mario Andretti you put a hole in these stockings and we're gonna have words."

She pulled up to Loren's apartment building and waited for him to exit the car.

"This entire ride has been a tremendous blow to my self-esteem!" Loren screamed as they sped off.

Without Loren they had no one to ignore but each other. She knew Spike's anger was ready to flair at any moment. The power she'd taken away from him didn't comfort her. She wondered if in doing so she'd just opened a door that she didn't want closed.

All she wanted was her nightly invitation to come upstairs to his apartment. She'd watch him undress, maybe shower and then he’d tell her to go home when he slipped between the sheets. And she’d go home even if it meant being alone. She still wanted that moment with him.

They arrived silently at his complex for a moment neither said anything.

"Come up." He said finally.

She let the surprise catch in her throat. "Alright."

She parked in the space next to his car, never remembering anyone having parked there before. The elegant condos were all dark as they entered. He led her; his hand in the small of her back with every step fear conquered her. And it kept her nerves raw.

He opened the door and let her in. They entered hand in hand. Every other night she'd visited, she'd have been taken straight to the bedroom. It was the only truly furnished area. He looked at it but hesitated. Instead he motioned her over to the only other real piece of furniture in his home, a small couch. She sat down watching him intently.

He removed his shirt slowly and laid it on the floor. His movements were cat like with a grace she could watch forever but he only removed the shirt. He retrieved a bottle of vodka from the freezer and two glasses from the bar. He cupped the glasses in one hand and poured with other. He handed one to her and placed the bottle on the ground as he sat down.

"The first time we met you brought me here." She said.

He'd been drunk or high that night when he ordered her to take him home. She'd carried him practically to his door. But when they entered he pulled away from her. His incredibly stylish apartment devoid of any true creature comforts or silly knick-knacks amazed her. It was simple a couch, a chair and a bed.

But before she could really inspect it at any length, he began to slowly strip. He dropped each piece with a careless toss. His clothing could be considered an asset because of its quality and designer nametags. Even though they were only a t-shirt and jeans, each item he wore was a name. Her first impulse was to collect each piece but then she saw him move to the bedroom. She swallowed hard knowing he was fully naked and on his bed.

He offered her anything she wanted from his bar. She claimed a cold bottle of water, it was from Italy and she'd never seen its type before. She opened it and took a small sip.

He crossed over to her, completely beautifully naked. She didn't want to breathe; all she'd ever dreamed of was standing there. He took the open bottle from her and poured it over his head. It covered his body dripping off him mingling with smell of him. His body was bleached white perfection, washboard abs, and the most beautiful cock she'd ever seen. He was like a statue, but incredibly unique and no stuffy sculptor could have made what she saw.
She craved to touch him and heat the water on his body. He rung out his hair lightly, laughing knowing it would get her wet. She was already wet.

He turned away and thanked her for seeing him home. He dropped his naked body on his bed and he did not bother to cover up his form.

"Good night, Buffy. Lock the door on the way out."

She was lost the first moment she met him. Lost that first night when he stood naked before her and all she knew from then on was that she wanted him.

His hand passed over her eyes, slowly trying to capture her attention. She turned away from him.

"You use to curl up in lap, like a child." She said and then took a long drink from her glass.

"I've already visited your lap tonight, luv." He muttered next to her.

"Spike, I'm so-” She stopped and instead finished her drink.

"That's never happened to me before. What we did...not with a woman. I've always known who I am. What I am. And I’ve lived with that. And I've cherished it. Celebrated it, every chance given and then you did that to me..."

"Yeah, I did, I wanted you and I didn't care what you wanted. So, it was my entire fault, all right? None of it had anything to do with you. I made you do it." She declared looking into his eyes.

"Really? I believe I was in an active participant, it wasn't rape." His voice was sarcastic.

"You didn't stop me."

"Our bodies, they fit together. I was high but it just kept going and on, so intense and strong." His voice was low.

"Please." She whispered, the arousal in her was so strong it made her weak.

"You made love to me, like a man. If I hadn't been blindfolded, I would have thought you were a man. Well, up to a certain point." He reached over and stroked her long blonde hair.

Her hand slipped over his chest and she played with a nipple pinching it slowly.

"You’re built like a boy." He offered. "Your chest is small, tiny hips and your body is in good shape."

"But as a boy I'm missing parts." She laughed.

"And with a little help we could fix it or ignore it." His hands moved quickly up her skirt grabbing her roughly.

"I don't we have time to find the correct doctors. Loren told me to find a pretty boy and tell him that my sausage was small." His thumbs and fingers rubbed her thighs, opening them slightly.

"I'm certainly pretty. I've been told so many times. Do you want to fuck me?" His lips were close to hers.

She closed her eyes, "I'm not a boy."

"I know...Kiss me..." He urged.

She brushed her lips against his, gentlely but then he grabbed her head. His lips were immediately demanding and she matched him teasing him and biting his lip. But then she stopped and pulled back.

"What are we doing?" She asked.

His blue eyes flashed. "I didn't ask before. It's not fair to ask me now."

"If we do it once, it means nothing. A mistake, but if we do it again-” His mouth covered hers.

Her hands were balled up into small fists and she closed her eyes. His kisses had changed, slow and passionate. And she held back not wanting him to stop. His fingers under her clothes grabbing her mound, delighting in wetness he found. He pushed a finger inside her slick opening and she moaned.

Her lips suddenly became a force without clarity just intent. She escaped his mouth and bent down, a moan erupted when she bit a nipple.

He gathered her in his arms not ceasing their kisses only delaying them slightly. His long strides lead her to his bed and he dropped her on her feet. He grabbed the back of her neck and pushed her face and body down onto the perfectly made bed. His hand embedded in her hair as he came down upon her.

His lips attacked her neck searching in the darkness for her hungry mouth. He stopped only to remove his jeans, while she remained fully clothed in her t-shirt and skirt. His hatred of under garments was well known to her. She could feel him against her even through her skirt. With a harsh move he raised the skirt ripping it almost from her body. The mesh thong she'd been wearing was gone with a quick rip and she was exposed fully to him. She couldn't think or breathe.

His hands grabbed her ass cheeks and began rubbing them almost cruelly. He spread them and followed their curves with his hot tongue. She screamed into the sheets, almost ripping her nails thru them. He touched her back feeling how tense and taunt it was.

Again she could feel his hardness on her leg. She swallowed. Her hand reached behind her trying to grasp it to guide it inside her. He pushed her hand away afraid if she touched it he wouldn't be able to hold back. He covered her back with sweet kisses and she wondered if his hot tongue was going to invade her again.

His kisses stopped suddenly and his hand came down on her shoulder holding her down. The other hand he licked covering it with his saliva. That wet hand went between her legs, making it ready for him.

She'd never had any man even try to go there and she would have said no immediately but she couldn't stop him. She would give him anything he wanted, as long as he wanted from her.

Before another thought reached her brain he pushed into her and she screamed into the bed. He groaned loudly obviously enjoying her ass and her pain.

"Tight, hmmm, beautiful, ass." he muttered.

He moved slowly, knowing and enjoying her pain. He reached down and touched her, his unschooled hands pinching her clit and trying to slip a finger in her pussy. When he finally made it inside her with his finger, she moaned.

"Jesus, Spike, don't stop, please." She cried.

When he felt her relax, he sped up and thrust into her not knowing or caring who or what she was. She was lost; to him and the sensation he gave her. His pace increased and he withdrew his hand from pussy and he used both of his hands to steady himself as he surged inside of her.

He was close; his hands reached instinctively under her t-shirt and grabbed her breasts. They came together in the same moment, riding the sensation like a drug.

He collapsed on her a moment later but before she could really enjoy the weight of him he pulled out of her and climbed under the covers. In a moment he was asleep and few minutes so was she.


************

The End

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