Five minutes later, when Buffy got out of the room, the only thing that changed in her appearance was her hair that looked less messy.

She was still wearing the leather coat, getting herself different looks from the W&H associates, and, while trying her best not to eye the clothes that she remembered were under the books and couch, she chose to ignore the blushing, the appreciatives, the awkward and the suppressed anger.

She leaned herself by the door as Spike, now wearing his usual jeans and black T-shirt was standing behind her with his smug smile.

" Now can you tell me what's gotten you all worked up ? " she said, trying to tighten even more the leather fabric to overcome her embarrassment until she found out it was more revealing that way.

As no one else seemed to volunteer, Wes took the initiative to explain to her the problem, telling her she unknowingly made herself a very powerful enemy, one that could kill her and still remaining in the shadows while she was out there in the open, but only one detail mattered to the slayer.

" What ?! " asked the outraged Slayer, " You called my friends and Watcher ?! AND my sister ?! "

" We.. we couldn't find you and, it was an emergency... " said Wesley as he momentarily channelled to the young green boy who used to be her watcher, "... we thought you could stay inside W&H, so we can insure your safety.

Thinking 'I can't believe it ! yeah right ! ' and some curses she closed her eyes to calm herself and respond to the gang's invitation :

" Well, thank you for the ... kind offer, but over the years I had made myself many more enemies and well, they weren't wusses, I'm the slayer who lived the longest while still doing my duty so I don't think I need your protection, and most of all W&H's. "

" You've died twice, luv. "

His calm demeanour was bothering her, making her snap : " That was different ! I mean, they're only sending bounty hunters, been there, done that ! No biggie ! "

He just looked at her pointedly, making her feel like a stubborn child.

As she caressed unconsciously her left arm with her right hand, she explained : " I mean I have a safe place to stay, won't be taking any unneeded risk. "

" Well, means you'll be taking some 'much needed' risks then, huh ? " asked Lorne very with a knowing look.

" And what makes you think you'll be safe ? " asked Wesley very curious.

" I have a charm that makes me invisible to people who are looking for me with magical ways, that's why you guys couldn't find me. And the Watcher's council has a protected house in LA that no one knows about. So I'll be okay !" she explained in a perky voice.

" Where's this place ? We can at least escort you to there." the vampire behind her said while taking one of her curls around his finger.

" I can go home by myself ! " She slapped his hand off gently, she was a slayer for god sake ! Not a damsel nor a wimp !

" I know you can defend yourself ! You can even bloody stake me on your best days ! But what if your place is not as safe as you think ? Or if you get bloody attacked on the way there ? You know none of us would leave you by yourself until we know you're okay. You'd do the same, right ? "

Spike said, leaving regretfully her lock and putting his hand on her shoulder instead.

Squeezing gently, he added : " Does Caleb ring a bell, Pet ? "

He was sorry he had to remind her the preacher who had taken so many potentials and the whelp's eye, sorry to feel her freeze at the low blow he threw at her, but he had to convince her not to underestimate her opponent, to let them help... To let HIM help.

She turned her head around, wanting to shout at him for his unfairness, to hit him as hard as his words hit her, but the concern in his eyes, stopped her she just caressed his forearm, touching the place she knew her fellow slayer had cut :

"Okay, it's two blocks from here, but we'll have to walk, I don't want a replay of yesterday. I'm the Slayer, sure won't die in a freaking car accident ! " and then, gently pulled his hand off of her.

Spike just looked at his empty hand and agreed with everyone else.

Just before leaving, she added : " Now, ground rules : I'm taking you with me not cause I'm scared but because I know you'll try to follow me anyway. A, I can lose you lot anytime I want to"

She then pointed her finger at Gunn : " B, You stop eyeing me and imagine things I'd have to knock you out for, and C, Angel get over your brooding self or you're not going with us ! " she finally glared at the vampire who had been keeping silent and faking to ignore the blonde duo. She knew he was having a hard time but hers was'nt easy either, and feeling his whole disapproving vibes were starting to get on her nerves on top of everything.

As she picked Spike's snicker, she added " And you, behave ! "

As the group accompanied her, Fred by her side and the guys behind, looking around to spot any enemies, she found out that it was harder than she thought to walk the one mile that separated her from Spike's place. Even though the coat she was wearing arrived almost to her ankles, it was slit in the back, so if she wasn't careful enough, it would go up mid-thigh.

She knew she had worn dresses and skirts shorter than that, WAY shorter than that ! But she could feel the leather caressing her naked body with each step, Spike's gaze two feet behind her, knowing she had nothing under it.

With each step she got more aroused, his sent that was still lingering all around her, the knowledge that with his enhanced vampire senses he could smell her...

'Oh God !! Enhanced vampire senses ! Vampire !!! ' her mind back on track.

'Yeah, if Spike could smell her, then Angel.. ' She sneaked a look at her first love.

He was diverting as much as possible his eyes from her, looking the other way around, his face even paler than she thought it could be.

'God !!! He knows !!'

How could she forget that Spike wasn't the only vampire around with the bad habit of taking sniffs ?

She blushed hard and even harder as she caught Spike's sneer at her blood rush.

She never thought she'd feel that much relief when she finally arrived to the abandoned former cornfield !

" Okay, we're here ! Thanks everyone for everything !" she said perkily, hugging a stunned Fred.

The others just stared at her and around, trying and failing to spot anything that looked like an habitable place for humans or even demons.

" We're not going to leave you alone in the middle of nowhere just 'cause you're feeling uncomfortable, Slayer ! " Spike snarled.

" I'm REALLY staying here. " she said, but seeing that the lot didn't believe her, she cursed " Hell ! Okay, 'guess I gotta invite you in and have THE talk tonight ! "

They all looked at her like she lost her mind but she just took Fred's hand and ordered irritatedly :

"Just take each other's hands ! Wes, take Fred's and so on... The link must be there, hurry up before I change my mind ! "

When the boys finally obeyed, Wes holding Fred's hand, Spike holding hands with Wes and Gunn and then Lorne and Angel to close the march, Buffy lead them inside the field and after a few steps they felt a breeze strong enough to make them close their eyes. When they opened them, they were on the threshold of a gorgeous manor.

" Make yourself at home " smiled Buffy, as she invited the awestruck crowd into her pied-à-terre.

They just looked at each other trying to see if they were all seeing the same wooden floor, the same tastefully decorated entrance and huge stairs.

Lorne was the first to recover his ability to talk.

" Wow !! Just wow !! That's magnificent !!! How come ? And look at that !! "

" Well, the decorating is not from me,---" Buffy was starting to explain to them, bips from the conference room interrupted her " Let's go that way, you'll get comfy while I turn that off. "

It was her answering machine ! A dozen of messages were waiting to be listened to ! Knowing whom they were from and the reason of their call, she just ignored them, pushing the button to turn the bips off.

As she invited them to sit down, she started to have a headache, imagining how she would eventually have to answer those calls later, to answer the questioning looks that were aimed at her right at the moment.

Everyone was waiting after her, as always, and as the mood was getting more and more awkward with the gang looking back and forth at the the dark and even more broody vampire, the younger one and their common ex.

Buffy knew she had a little bit of explaining and a lot of convincing to do, but she hated what she had to do, acting all I-know-what's-best thingy in front of people she only met a day ago, and even more so in front of the two of the men who mattered the most in her life.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to start the talking,

" You see, when we decided... I mean the house..." but just couldn't find the right words, rummaging nervously into the coat, she found the exact thing she knew would be unmistakably there : a little bit of courage.

Taking out the flask, she opened it and as she was to pour some into her mouth she heard a throat clearing sound.

Facing Spike's disapproving look, her discomfort just rose.

" Oh bite me ! "

" Gladly, Luv." he teased at her choice of words "But the booze is still mine"

She rebelliously drank anyway but he shook his head and made a sign to have his flask back.

Knowing that he was right and that she also needed to have a clear head, she muttered under her breath what she thought he could do with his flask and threw it at him violently.

He just caught it and sneered " Watch your language young lady. " and added when she looked at him " Vampire's enhanced hearing, Slayer."

" You're what ? My father now ? Buffy can't drink, can't swear ?! " relieving her stress on him.

He just smiled and replied with a suggestive smile only he could make : " Nothing fatherly between you and me, Pet."

He then tilted his head : "Or are you talking about role playing ? ' Cause I'm totally in. "

Buffy froze for a few seconds, an interesting image coming to her and then frowned



" Eww to that ! Let's all forget about those disturbing words and move on ! As I was saying : when we took over the watcher's council, we became aware that there was gonna be trouble in LA, the former council already had this manor for decennies, but we decided it would be better to find a way to hide it and protect it. "



Spike was relieved that Buffy had calmed down.



She was great when she improvised. She was so nervous earlier, and knowing that if he pissed her off or embarrassed her, she'd forget all the speech she had rehearsed, and talk naturally. He knew she'd relax after getting some steam off, and noone better than him could do that. And well, it wasn't his fault if a little flirting and innuedoes were the solution !



Still looking at her brilliant performance, he never felt more love for her, she was always beautiful but when she was talking about what she believed in, about helping people, she was never more passionnate than in those moments, his slayer.



She was still talking, looking ravishing in the leather that he had rarely left for the last 30 years, well maybe sometimes she was more passionate, he smiled.


" You see we had this idea from Dawn, see, there was a warlock in Sunnydale that used to cloack his lair, so why couldn't we ? Gathering all the power and minds of the people on our side, we found a way to make this house invisible to EVERYONE ! Not only demons or vampires, but also humans ! 'Cause we learned to our expense that human could be dangerous as well... " he heard her voice waver, obviously thinking about the death of Tara.



" Since W&H employ many humans, we had to make sure, that the house's restrictions would also... "



But Buffy couldn't explain further with the phone ringing loudly. " Just a Minute" ,



" Hey ! " she frowned at the insisting caller



" Yeah, I'm fine ! No, just forgot the phone, yeah, I got the messages but since it was nightime over there I thought it'd be better to call in a few hours... I know ! No I'm not hurt don't worry ! ... No I'm not lying ! I'm fine... Yeah ! saw Angel, know all about the contract... Don't worry ! What ?! Now ? No... I mean, maybe later... No, I don't know how to turn it on..." but Buffy couldn't stop her friend from hanging up.



" Video conference ? " were Angel's first words since long.



" Vampire enhanced hearing ? " asked back an irritated Slayer as half a dozen TV screens seemed to appear out of nowhere, which she knew were her witch/superbrainy friend's doing, pirating on the house network.



They didn't have to wait long until the second screen turned on by itself and a very worried Willow appeared.



" Buffy ! You got us worried to death do you know that ?! " the redhead scolded ignoring the other people there.



Buffy cleared her throat " I'm fine, said so, you should just have believed me ! "



"Well, your unwillingness to turn the camera on for me to check was making grounds to doubts, isn't it ? So what's this deal about ? How's LA ? "



" We have guests, Will, chit chat with you later.." Buffy tried her best to sound cheery and stepped back so that willow could catch a look at all the people in the room and just stop the uncalled for videoconference.



" Oh ! Hi ! How are you ?! I must have sounded very impolite, but it's just because I didn't think she'd invite you in so soon... " but Willow froze as she spot the familiar vampire, " And you invited SPIKE !! "



"Hi Red ! "



Willow now looked at Buffy, bewildered " I thought we agreed on hating Spike ?! " she said aloud.



Then, she squinted her eyes and zooming in her embarrassed friend she shrieked : "Are you possibly wearing Spike's duster ?! "



Buffy blushed as she had forgotten that detail : " Well, it's complicated... Anyway, had to get them all in and I was explaining to them about the house and other things."



" Buffy ! Go change ! "



" What ?! "



" Giles and Xander will be on in a few seconds ! "



Buffy just dashed up the her room, as Spike cringed. She knew how it would appear to him but she had enough of judging stares for a whole year, after saying how much she hated the vampire, having the people in LA know she made love to him just after one day was one thing, but having that information travel to Europe, to the people to whom she bitched about him with for the past month, to the people she so made it clear she didn't want to have any kind of contact with him.. It was too much to handle !



" So how is it going with your bitchier-than-thou minislayer ? "



" My what !?... Oh ! You mean Ken ? hahaha ! I forgot you had this habit of naming people ! "



" So ? "



" We're.. We're ok, but why are you calling her that ? "



" Cause that's who she is, and well, she's no Glinda.. " Spike saw the pain he caused to the witch " Sorry, didn't mean that, I mean, she can be ok if you need her. "



" I know." was the only response Willow gave to him with an understanding nod.



" Hey there ! Where's Buffy ? "



" Buffy ? " Both watchers appeared on the other screens looking for the slayer they cared so much about.



" Buffy is in the bathroom, gonna come back in a minute guys ! "



" Oh ! Okay, so she's fine right ? You saw her ? "



" Yeah, and she it seems that she took everyone to the manor and was explaining to them how it worked. "



" Oh, so she's fast isn't she !? " said Xander while missing the awkward looks around "Maybe we can help with the explaining ? "



" Hey ! She was telling us 'bout how you had this place cloacked like Rack's "



" Oh ! Spike ! So delightful to see you ! ...I hope you'd believe me when I say that ? "



Giles had thought over his past impressions and behaviour towards the vampire, he had learned to trust Buffy's instinct more than his over the past months, and if she thought he deserved to know about the operation, he would too.



After getting a nod from the blonde he had tried to get killed he explained " So we had only a few selected people including of course Buffy allowed to see it, get in, and guide other people in, the place is totally safe, so you see, because we knew that as soon as the slayer would be in LA, W&H or any other evil would be trying to attack her, and LA is too dangerous right now, even for Buffy. "



" Thanks for the vote of confidence ! " teased the slayer who just came back. She was wearing a large white T-shite and jeans, now.



" But I have to agree, LA is real dangerous right now, it's been unprotected for a long while and very powerful demons had settled their nest here. " she added to the discomfort of the other people in the room.



" It's not unprotected, WE protect LA ! "




" Who are you kidding ? I know you all got too immersed with all the lawyer things that you can't properly patroll anymore. It didn't even take me ten minute out by myself to be attacked by a dozen of vampire ! It never happened in SunnyDale, they knew they had to be careful ! " Buffy said harshly with her refound confidence.



" They knew not to be reckless and obvious, Those I saw yesterday didn't even hide who they were, and propably were working for some bigger bad, someone rich enough to put 10 millions on my head and powerful enough to keep dozens of vamps under him. "



The LA team just looked down as they knew she hit the spot.



" I thought we'd talk later but since you all insisted to come here, let's get it over." she sighed sitting down.



" Are you guys content with the choice you made ? Of the situation you are in ? Was it worth it ? " she asked the W&H workers.



" It's not been a long time but I watched you all, I think you want out, and WE can try a way to help you guys to get out, it's time to make a choice. Is the library they provided, the money, sun proof glass,all the things that lured you in, still enough ? Do you still think you can make a difference from the inside ? That you can outwit them in this way ? "



" Do you have a solution ? " asked expectantly Angel.



" A solution ? I hope we can find one but I won't make this choice easy, it's not supposed to be easy. Once you make it there won't be turning back this time, no wavering anymore, it's your last chance. If you break our trust afterwards, there WILL be consequences I'll give you time to think over it, to weight what is most important for you, what sacrifices you'll have to make, the risks you'll have to take, and in a week of time, if you made up your mind, you'll just have to come here, to the field." Buffy explained.



Letting the words sink in, she just looked at them, seeing their expressions, watching their reactions. The former Scoobies and now members of the Council board just smiled proud of their leader.



But another screen turned on as they saw Dawn, " Buffy ? Are you okay ? Why didn't you call me ? "



" You're supposed to be sleeping ! And what are you wearing ? "



" Oh I'm grown up now ! Don't be such a bore ! Anyway, I was worried about you what's happening ? You jsut said you had to go to LA and refused to take me.."



" You had classes to attend to ! "



" Yeah, like THAT was the most important ! "



" It's important ! Go to sleep now, you have classes tomorrow as well !"



" Well, you know what ? If you don't let me come with you I..; Maybe I'll do crazy and stupid things here, you know the only ones looking after me are Andrew and two slayers my age ? Maybe, maybe I'll sleep with Chris tonight if I want to !! "



" Who's Chris ? " was asked.



" Chris is her boyfriend right now, AND she won't be sleeping with him."



" Spike ? You don't want me there but you take Spike in ? "



" Dawn go to sleep, we'll talk tomorrow. I'm tired and it's in the middle of the night there."



" Hey Nibblet."



" Well, Spike if you wanted to be dead for good all you could do was ask ! " replied the angry teen.



" Don't say things like that, dawnie" soothed her sister.



" Hmmm... I think .. " Giles started tried to stop it.



" Yeah t's late I'm gonna turn in." Xander yawned.



" Well not me ! You know what I won't forgive you, Spike ! " continued to rant the girl



" I'm not Buffy ! you may have a special pass with her that she forgives you everything but not with me ! I'll never forgive you !! You hear me never ! "



" Dawn !! Turn it off now ! we'll talk tommorrow"



" Yeah ! Dawn comes home late, she gets grounded, Willow and Anya got all the 'I'll kill you deal' and Giles gets ignored for weeks, but not Spike, right ?! "



" Dawn ! " Willow gaped at the girl



" He sleeps with one of your best friend but it's OK since it's Spike, then he tries to RAPE you, kills people post-soul and the punishment is to move into our basement, ALWAYS gets forgiven ! Well I'm not you and I wish he STAYED Dead !! Real dead dead ! "



" Dawn ! Go to sleep ! NOW ! " Buffy shouted at her sister.



" Willow ! Turn everything off ! " And so did Willow but not before Dawn added " I hate you !! I hate you both !! "

Buffy closed her eyes for a minute, closing her mind to the violence that just happened, that just got reminded to her.

That girl was too much like her, why did the monks make Dawn out of her blood !? Even though they were made different, they had the same temper, and that often ended up hurting the ones they cared the most about.

She was feeling foggy, the other people in the room throwing interrogative glances at her, not daring to ask out loud the question that were burning in their head.

" Spike didn't kill people INTENTIONALLY after he got rensouled, he was under the First Evil's influence, like possessed, Angel will fill you guys in later." just giving them the only information they needed to know.

" Let's take five minutes now" she got up and added " Spike ? Come with me a second ?" wanting to talk with him in private.

He didn't move or respond.

" Spike ? look at me. " she sighed recognising the haunted look that broke her heart everytime.

" I'm fine. Staying here. Don't need coddling or mothering from you." she looked at him and then at the people around, making a decision.

Moving swiftly at slayer speed, she grabbed the back of his head and made him look into her eyes, her heart bleeding to see those sapphire mirror the pain and regret he felt.

" Know what ? What I feel about you isn't motherly either. Can we have 5 minutes please ? " she asked the others, nodding to the door.

" Buffy... " he tried to smile and get away from her concern.

" I need you to focus here. You DID NOT kill those people, do you hear me ? You did not and I know it, YOU know it and Dawn knows it very well ! " stressing every word.

" Maybe I was under influence but I was the one who turned them" he sighed " But I .. I definitly hurt you. Hurt the girl. Hurt the girls, have to pay. You yourself said you were never going to forgive me." he continued.

" I say a lot of things, like Dawn, we don't always think them. And she doesn't know what happened, I never told her everything about what happened between us. For God's sake, she's a kid ! Do you think I'd tell her about all the things we did to each other ? "

" But it's still the truth ! I.. That time if you hadn't stopped me.." still feeling the judging and sentencing glares from everyone in the room, he tried to break free from her, knowing he didn't deserve the comfort of her hazel eyes.

Buffy gently carressed his cheek with the back of her hand, trying to ease his pain :

" Look at me, there's only you and me, noone else, LISTEN now, what happened between you and me is our business ! I know ugly stuff happened, we hurt each other, both did awful things, can't deny it, but the others don't know, they can't ! US isn't only about what happened that day ! It's also all the things that happened before and after that. Do you remember what you did after that ? "

" I remember I slept with Anya before that. "

" I remember you loving me, trying to be better, I remember how you tried to make US something better but I wouldn't, couldn'. I remember how I put you on an edge, and then pushed and pushed again. And when I needed you, I pulled you back, but afterwards I still pushed you away and when you got beyond your limits I still pushed. " she confessed her eyes tearing up.

" I was in a bad place but that was no reason for what I did to you. "

" I pushed too much, too hard too many times, knew it'd break, tear you but still doing it" she went on like in a trance," It was more my fault than yours, that day, and I knew it."

" What I did was unforgivable, it was never your fault" it was his turn to comfort her, patting her back gently, looking at the strongest woman he knew crumble down in front of him.

" Not entirely yours either, I forgave you even before you came back to Sunnydale, you know, but never said it. If I could forgive you, why can't you ? "

" You did ? "

" Did you have doubts ? I... we never revoked your invitation" it came to her that with everything that happened she just assumed he knew ! "I'm sorry I never told you, I thought actions were enough, sorry I never apologised about the way I treated you back then. " she slumped against him.

" Don't ! Never ! I knew your state of mind, thought I'd be enough to... "

" You were more than enough, but I wasn't, you saved my life again and again, anchored me to Life, I would have died hundreds of times if it wasn't for you, I had it, you know, when I came back from there. The dea... thing that kills slayer. "

" I know, scared me to death, more death actually."

" I need you, please don't go all insane and brooding on me" she added before kissing him chastly.

" I'll try. Don't want to look like that wanker anyway." they just hugged until she calmed down.

--------------------

" You remember what you told me after her first fugue ? ......She's just a teenager with hormones going havroc and still immature."

" I hurt her."

" She wasn't thinking half of the things she said, you know, she was hurt, and we Summers strike back when we are hurt. "

" You said almost the same things when you arrived in LA."

" Well, look at me now. " she let go of him and sat on the floor, soon joined by him.

" I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have done that, should have called"

" We did so many things to each other that we need apologizing. "

" Can you forgive me ? "

" What for ? "

" For not telling you I was back."

"---- Can you tell me why you did it ?"

"---- I think we freaked them out, I mean, even more drama than Passions and Dawson's creek altogether. Gonna free them." he got up to join the gang in the living room, " Coming ? "

" Yeah." she sighed, they'll talk again later.

-------------------------------------

After apologizing for making things awkward, she told them that she had things to do during the week and would wait for their answer, reminding them not to talk too directly about her offer.

" You see this house is spell and seers protected, so anything said in here is secret, but if they know about here or about the plan, or your intentions, you all will be in more danger, so make up your mind and if you're in, just come back here in a week of time at sunset and I'll let you in. " as she explained them how even though they knew the house was there they wouldn't be able to get in without a guide.

" Tomorrow, I'll come to W&H and make fake goodbyes so that they think I'm back to Europe, don't worry, we talked it through with Spike, we'll make it believable. So whatever happens tomorrow doesn't change the plan."

As it was almost time for the sun rise, she escorted them out, but she asked him again.

" Are you sure you're okay with what we have to do ? "

" Of course, Pet." he caressed her arm gently.

" Don't... "

" What ? "

" Make me want to have you stay. "

Only hurt silence answered her plea.

" You are watched and if you disappear for too long a time, they'll suspect something. " she sighed, " And, I have to talk to the guys and give Dawn an earful. "

" She... Tell her I love her."

" That's where it hurts, Spike, you can't have people think you love them, have them love you back and do what you did. " she sighed not knowing if she was talking about her teen or herself.

The second they got out of the manor, they were back to the field, Gunn and Wesley still disbelieving ran around to look for an invisible house or some kind of entrance while Spike went home quietly, not wanting to talk with anyone.
After knowing for certain that there was really no way for them to get back in, the rest decided to go and get some rest as well.

On the way to the condoes they lived in, the group were solemnly silent, having a lot on their mind, a lot to process and think over, not knowing why she gave that much time while they would have agreed right away to be on her side and at the same time wondering if a week was enough for them to abandon what they had been given the last few months.

" Angel, if you want to work with her you'll have to see them, OFTEN." said Lorne when there were only the two of them.

" What do you know ? " Angel asked his friend " Did you see something ?"

" No it's not that. I can't seem to really see through them, can't see their future or more, but I have eyes, so do you, she loves him, and we all know how Spike feels about her, sooner or later, they will both face it."

" They're not right for each other. She deserves better. "

" They're quite right for each other" sighed the demon " They have the same fiery personality underneath, that what causes all the sparks, the fights but also the passion."

"It's just your wild guesses." Angel replied stubbornly.

"Think about that anyway, if you want to work with her, it's something you'll have to face." finished Lorne before saying goodbye to a very grim vampire.

---------------------------------------------------

After sleeping a little, Buffy called the other Watcher's Council Board memebers, telling them all she learned about LA, the things that they already suspected and things they were awed to learn. They had one week to come out with a plan to get those idiots out and put an end to that infuriating Evil Trio, why were they always three anyway ? They knew they had to attack the Wolf the Ham and the Hart sooner or later, they had decided not to be on defense anymore, but those were the most powerful being they'd ever go against !

After a few hours of brainstorming, a beginning of a war stategy was forming, and the first step was going to be hard, Hell ! All of it was going to be hard ! And it was the best case scenario, with everything going their way and everyone accepting to be on their side ! And it freaking never went as they expected in those situation.

After they ended the Video conference, each had important things to prepare, Willow had spells to look over and Faith and Robin, more actives to find and convince, Andrew, Giles and Xander more girls to train and teach.
It was going to be war and they had to have everything done before it broke.

And Buffy had to talk to her sister.

Before she even picked up the phone, Dawn was calling after her classes ended.

" I'm sorry" were the first words she said.

" I don't know why I said that. I'm so sorry !" she wailed.

" I know, honey, shush." Buffy lost all the anger and recriminations she was going to throw at her sister with the need to soothe her pain.

" He.. Is he alright ? "

" He's ok."

" His arms ? "

" Good as new, that's what's great when you have the ressources they have here."

" Good.... Is he angry ? "

" He loves you." there was nothing she had been more sure of, Spike loved Dawn, Spike loved Dawn before the soul and even more with it, and she needed the girl to remember that.

" I... Can I come to LA ? I have to tell him how sorry I am ! It's just, I wasn't ready to see him, and he was so..."

" Casual ? " Buffy offered, knowing very well what ticked her sister off. The girl just sobbed in the phone again. "I'm sorry Dawn, you can't come to LA, it's too dangerous here, I won't be able to protect you. "

" Okay." that girl obeyed is being too reasonable, Buffy thought, but still glad Dawn could see her point.

As they were to hang up, Dawn confessed : " You .. Maybe you won't trust me but I didn't do anything with Chris."

" I do. "

"What ? "

"Trust you."

" Thank you " the teenager was amazed that her sister would after all the horrors she said only a few hours back, after she hung up she whispered to the phone : " Sorry." and with a determined look, she sneaked into Andrew room to get what she was came for.

As Buffy came into the lobby of W&H, she got accompanied right away to the head office, now that the surprise effect was not there anymore, they seemed very effective.

The gang acted as if they were surprised to see her, telling her about the threat that she already knew about, while Spike just stood there silently gazing at her as if afraid to even talk o her.

As she waved the threat away, telling them not to worry, that she's soon be gone.

" Came to say hi and goodbye ! " she said cheerily, " Mission's over, demon's back to life, all is well ends well, thanks to you all."

" I thought we could chat some more about the enemies you met, you know, so we could learn more from you ! Like learn more about slaying and all that and also Apocalypse." said Fred, very nervous about acting.

" Maybe later. " Buffy smiled at the older woman who was still so innocent.

" Can you at least tell us the most amazing thing that happened to you ? " Gunn was getting the hang of this.

" Well, met the Drac ! Killed him "

" You met Dracula ?! He actually existed ? " asked Fred.

As Buffy was going to say more the door opened and entered Harmony, trying to hide behind a file holder and saying in a disguised voice

" Boss, Eve wants to shee you."

" Tell her to come back later."

" Yeash, Boss. "

Buffy sighed : " Harm, I won't kill you, not here and not if you stay on pig blood anyway, so just relax okay ? "

" Oh thank god ! I knew you were the best ! Kind heart and all ! Told the other secretaries the same thing, but then they say that since the last time I saw you, you were all chained up in Spike's crypt with what happened with Drusilla and all, they told me to be careful."

Buffy cringed at the description of that night. Trying to relax since she had promised herself not to kill the airhead vamp, she reached out for water, maybe that would cool her down.

" Chains?" she heard Gunn whisper under his breath thinking no one could hear him.

More water, that was what she needed, and meditation Buffy thought as she started to empty her head.

" But you knew I didn't want to kill you right ? Just Spike ! I mean I never wanted to kill you ! " added the vamp.

'You just kidnapped MY sister to try to kill ME.' thought the slayer but not saying it because she knew once she started she might lose her cool.

" I'm sooo relieved you are such level headed ! You know I've been on pig blood for almost a year now ! I'm on the good side ! Never was good at being bad anyway ! "

" Then it's great. " Buffy said with the most enthusiasm she could gather.

Harmony could feel Buffy annoyance in her : " I know why you're not very friendly towards me ! I mean, we could be such great friends !! I always thought so in high school ! But tell you what ? It didn't mean anything when I slept with Spikey, I mean, you know, he loves you, only you and all. He has been only talking about you, but for a guy like him, being corporeal again, it was the first thing he'd do..."

CRACK. Buffy looked at her wet hand, seeing the sharps of glass flying and the cuts she had. Oh God ! And then Fred was coming with her handkerchief, cleaning the water and the blood away, Spike looking at her with a frown. Harmony having ran away already.

" I'm fine. " she nodded to the girl.

Buffy looked down, hear head in her hands and her body shaking heavily.

"Buffy, Don't cry, he isn't worth your tears." Angel came up to soothe the trembling girl.

Spike just stood there, " Don't you dare !" he hissed.

"Don't laugh ! You stupid bint ! " he said to her to everyone astonishment. And they looked again to see the blonde who couldn't hold it anymore and laughed out loud at the primal and instinctive reaction she had, and the stupidity of that man.

"Sorry ! Sorry ! Oh God !! " she tried to catch a breath.

"Just bloody stop !" he sulked piqued by her lack of jealousy.

"Yeah, yeah, but it's Harm you know ! "

"Yeah, yeah, Spike lost a bet blah blah blah, "

"So you're not angry or hurt ? " asked Fred very nervous.

"God no !"

"Not even aggravated ? " added Wesley knowing the two blondes still ongoing relationship.

After having calmed down she sighed : "I wish I could say it was the most disgusting 'Spikey' did."

"That so ? " Spike tilted his head, curious now.

She smiled : "BuffyBot, ring any bell ? "

He paled and cursed under his breath, not exactly what he expected her to say.

"Buffy.. Bot ? Like in ? " asked Gunn but knowing very well.

" Yeah, okay, I made a Buffy robot, you know a guy gotta do what a guy gotta do, the opportunity presented itself." Spike snapped, then he added, "Nothing like the original though."

"Oh you are the Big Bad ! Your toned and hard muscles make me so hot ! You're so evil ! Let's make hot sex Spikey ! " she mused the bot with a high pitched voice.

The gang looked at Buffy in bewilderment.

"But I guess you didn't have a soul back then, so this explains that."

"Yeah I programmed it to say that, but you know what ? You sleeping with me after that doesn't say much about you, doest it ?"

"What ?! How can you talk to me like that ? "

"And the lack of soul didn't seem to bother you when you made me your boytoy ! "

Buffy looked at the other's reaction to the exchange : "Great ! Just great ! You had what you wanted huh ? Blah blah balh, Buffy looooves to have boytoys, and she's a slut who's fucking vampires, PS : soul's optional ! "

Spike couldn't help but cringe atthe vulgarity of her words : "You can't help but demean me, can you ? "

The others looked at the couple throw verbal attacks at each other.

"I'm not ! I never said anything about you watching all the Passions episodes ! "

" Passions is a bleeding great show ! And way better than your Dawson's creek, you know ! Talk about stupid teen flick ! See ?! I have things about you as well ! "

Buffy flinched at the mention of her guilty pleasure : " Yeah Passion is soooo good, big bad, but what about the Ramones huh ? "

"The Ramones ?! So now you're attacking my musical taste ? " Spike sneered.

"The 70's it's sooo over, and that's not even music, Billy Idol ! " she mocked.

"I SAID the look was mine way before that wanker stole it from me !! "

"Yeah, that's what you say anyway !"

"And you and your stupid shampoo commercial hair are have the least right to complain about my look ! And you know what ?! Any of the Ramones' songs are all better than Wind beneath my freaking Wings !! " Spike puffed.

"Oh you didn't dare ! We were never gonna talk about that like EVER again ! " hissed the Slayer, piquing the W&H gang's curiosity.

"I dared ! And you and you started it ! "

"Real mature Spike !"

"Is there something wrong with 'Wind beneath my wings' ? " said Wesley weakly.

"Oh nothing.. Buffy looooves it so much that she chose it for our marriage song !"

"Marriage ? Are you two married ?" but no answer was given to Angel as at the second he asked Buffy sent her chair flying towards Spike, who barely dodged it.

"Okay bring it on ! I'm sick of being your lap dog ! " Spike was now golden eyed and bumpy froeheaded.

"I've been wanting to beat the crap out of you since I knew you were alive ! " Buffy jumped at him and kicked him in the chest.

"Well, I wanted to be nice to you since I still love you but can't take anymore of your holier-than-thou attitude !" He retaliated with a right punch aimed at her cheek, then they fought hard and throwing kicks and punches, dodging each other attacks.

Catching her by the arm, he threw her to the next wall, stunning her for a moment, but she was fast back on her feet. Taking a coat stand she swang it at him, making him lose balance.

Seeing the opportunity, she sat on him and strucked him hard.

Straddling him, she added, punctuating each word with a punch :

" You don't get to talk about freaking Wind beneath my Wings ! And you don't get to say that you love me ! "

After being stunned at first by the explosion of violence that came from only a little bit of bantering, Wesley and Gunn ran over to separate the fighters as Spike had lost his game face and kept repeating "I love you". But they were easily pushed away by Buffy.

"You CHOSE to stay away ! You lose that right ! " still hitting him even though he was unconscious.

Fred called out to Angel for help, but he was liking what he saw too much to move.

So looking around, she found the fire extinguisher and used it on Buffy.

The slayer looked at the woman like on a daze. Then blinking slowly at the battered Spike, she jumped up, "I'm leaving this town !! For EVER !! Don't ever try to contact us ! Hear me ? It's over !! I won't come back EVER AGAIN ! And don't ever ask the Council's help ever again ! "

And the girl ran away to the astonishment of everyone.

Buffy then went to the airport and ran around through the crowds to lose her followers, then she finally came back to the house for the remaining of the night, she had to rest and get ready as she had important things to do in the morning.

Going upstairs, she took a shower, washing her soreness away.
After she put her pajamas on, she looked at her damaged knuckles guiltily, she had been too far, too strongly, had hit too hard, too many times.
With her slayer training she should have had more discipline, more self-control, shouldn't have hit him like that.

She went over her rocking chair and caressed longingly the coat that she put there. And for the second night, she lay it on the mattress and slept by it, her hand still feeling its texture while she savoured that leather scent mixed with its owner's familiar smell.
She could still feel his hands on her skin, the soft touches he blessed her with. Remembering his lips on her, that the butterfly kisses he gave her, the wilder ones, the mind blowing ones, she could remember his touch on every inch of her skin.
He had often tried to be tender with her, loving, but she had seldomly let him.
Letting herself be loved by him had been mind blowing, he had touched her with such reverence.
He had carried her back to his bed, kissing her gently on the forehead, then grazing her eyelids with his lips while he had carressed her with the tip of his fingers as if he was afraid she'd disappear.
Slowly arousing her while she doubted having enough energy to even move.
Then as she reached for him, for more, he just kissed her fingers and went on with his throughout quest, teasing her breasts with his toungue everywhere but the already hard nipples, teasing HER until she gasped.
He made her blood boil, her brain ceased to function as she let herself in his charge, he was smiling at her wetness, seeing her asking for more, and still waiting for her to be even more damp as he rubbed her core.
He then abandonned the aching nipples, to...
She had to shake away those memories, had to sleep.

But she couldn't help but think again about what he said.
Did he still love her ? Was he still in love with her ?
Could he ?
Then why ?

------------------------------------------

After getting treated by Fred, drinking some pig blood, he went back home, where he was surrounded by her scent, he would never be able to leave this place, now.
Wherever he went, she was there, her scent, memories of her, naked in his arms, passionate, gentle, softness and curves, giving almost loving.
He almost believed she loved him then, she made love to him in a way she never did, THEY made love in a way they never did.
The passion still there, but mixed with such tenderness and what was the word ? Endearment ? No, Affection.
The way she kissed him, like she wanted to savour every inch of him, how she devoured him, how she let him taste her, let him LOVE her.
How accepting she was.

It was the best night he had, but then she woke up and put distance between them.
She had slept in his arms before, but this time she didn't stay, he couldn't gently caress her bare skin, talk with her like an old couple, having contact with her, being intimate with her without it being about sex.
He was the girl in the relationship, he realised ! Well, if relationship there was.
He so wanted back what they had in their last nights in the Hellmouth, longed for those bloody sexless nights where he was truly intimate with her, knowing that she needed him, needed his comfort, strenght and love.

But those were long gone.
She didn't need him anymore, she needed someone normal, or more normal than him at least. Someone who deserved to be loved by her.
He had to move out, he couldn't stay in a place where every square foot, inch was a reminder her, her didn't need any as she was anchored in his heart enough.
Didn't need to stay in this hellish place that reminded him of the heaven he thought he had, that he almost had for a few hours.
A heaven that would never be his, that he was unworthy of.

He told her he loved her again and again, he remembered her saying that he lose that right, because he stayed away.
Did she mean he had to stop loving her ? How could he honestly promise that ?
Did she mean he should stop telling her his love ?
Did she mean he had that right before ? The right to love her ?
Did she mean anything she said ?

He just couldn't tell, couldn't ask, he chose to go to sleep as he had to heal fast and be ready for the next fight, the next war, the next apocalypse, the next whatever. Did it even matter ?
Slumping in the bed that still smelled like her, he closed his eyes to abandon himself in a dream that was full of her, full of them, together.

Buffy woke up before sunrise, having an appointment for a video conference with Willow.
She just hung the duster in her closet, thinking that she'd have to return it soon, but not now, in two or three more nights maybe, or maybe a little more, he wouldn't miss it, would he ?
She was pathetic, or maybe a fetishist, or a pathetic fetishist altogether ?
Stealing, no, not really stealing, keeping his things around, first his lighter, now his coat.
But it somehow helped to lighten her yearning for him. Or maybe it aggravated it, she didn't know.
Didn't care as the only time she was feeling a little bit better was when she was surrounded by his smell, how gross was that ?

The red head appeared on the screen, she had had to be back to business, Will had helped her to look for the one, the one they still needed.
The nerdy side of her friend had done miracles once again, finding much information about the boy in only half a day.
The girls chatted until it was time for her to go out, but not for the hunt, not to fight, just for him.
She went where she knew he'd be, casting away her own troubles : he needed her focused.
When she saw him, she recognised him right away even though she had only seen a very bad picture of him.
It was HIM, undoubtedly, instinctively, she could tell that it was him.
He was special, she could tell that as well, but he was also kind hearted, she thought as she saw him defending a girl form a bully, easily driving the tall toned boy away without harming him. He sure had self control.

He reminded her of herself, her old self, just before the call, so oblivious, so happy, maybe he was a little more mature than she her old self, but still ignorant of the world, of his own destiny.
And how ironical was that, that she, the Chosen one would have to explain all these to him, to convince him to trust her words, trust her, to help her, help THEM. She was offering a bad deal, she knew it, but she wanted to choose to be part of it.
He HAD to be part of this, she had to make him realise that.
She had been on that end of the conversation and knew how hard it would be to make him believe in what she said.
She knew she'd change his life forever, make him lose that little bit of innocence he not easily acquired, that others had sacrificed for.
But she had to, had to fix the deed, had to undo things.
Because it was the mission, her mission, their mission, to save the world.

*************************************************************

After a good day sleep, Spike was feeling better now, he never slept that much or that well, he dreamt.
He thought it would hurt more as last time she beat him up like that he kept the poached eye and bruises for more than a week ; which was really long when you knew how quickly vampires healed. She'd been easy on him, her heart wasn't really into it he shrugged.

It's been a long time they didn't get into a real fight, he wondered when was the last time exactly...
Yeah, it was just before she knew about the soul. Afterwards, she never hit him that hard again.
They did spar, also demonstrated to the potentials, but no serious fights as they had no reason to.
He would have never dared to, never wanted to.
The last weeks he spent with her were all about gentleness, softness and warmth, it had been delicate and soothing, well, except for the apocalypse.

Eventually, the sun had set and he finally could go out for some cigarette and blood.
Even though it was killing him him, he didn't go to her place on the way.
Whatever he had to say to her could wait, he knew that if he went by that place right then, suspicions would arise.
So he decided he'd go straight home with his bagged pig blood and stay there.
Maybe he'd do some laundry and cleaning, or maybe just let her scent linger for a while longer while he watched TV, he hadn't decided yet.
Hadn' decided what he'd do with the rags that were her clothes either. One step at a time, he thought.

As he was getting out of the butcher's, he felt a tingle on the back of his neck, someone was following him, had been following him for sometime now, he realised.
He continued to walk as if he didn't know, deriving from his route, he went to a more deserted area of the city, taking one last turn, he put the bag down in the dark alley in a rather safe place to not spoil the blood as he set his trap.
Good thing there was only one of them as he felt nor heard no more creatures within ten yards.
And as the form that followed him appeared, he stealthily jumped behind her. Grabbing her shoulder, he startled the dark-haired woman.
Quickly reacting, she swung a fist at him, but he blocked it easily as he was prepared for retaliation.

Spike was speechless, the woman before him would never ceased to surprise him.
Well maybe it was partly his fault for not trying to smell his surroundings.
But he was too distracted by his thoughts and the fact that he hadn't seen he was tailed.
He was still happy it was her, thinking he wouldn't see her until the next week.

"What's up with the hair ? " he could only ask.

"Is that the only thing that important to you ? My.. what again ? 'shampoo commercial hair '? Well, it's only temporary dying, just to be incognito you know, so that noone sees a superstrong blonde still being in town."

"So came to finish your work ?" he teased the slayer as he released her arm.

"Came to check on you. But guess it was not needed as you look fine and healed completely." she mocked.

She then looked at him, really looked, seeing all the damage she did, that she had to do, looking at his face that presented cuts and bruises, she started to tear up unwillingly.
"I'm sorry." Here they were again, those eyes that made him almost believe that she may love him, that she loved him in a way he never dared to wish for... not after the soul anyway.

"Don't sweat it ; it was all according to plan anyway, knew that was coming. "
He shrugged it off while lighting his cigarette.


FLASHBACK

"Spike, they'll never believe I left without even checking on W&H."

"So ?"

"I had an idea. We have to give them reasons."

"We ?" he liked to be included in her crazy plans.

"You remember Xander's parents don't you ?

"Oh, they're not the kind you ever forget, Pet. Nastier than many demons."

"Let's Harris up a little these goodbyes."

"How ?" he tilted his head.

"Oh we'll improvise something, don't worry. We always find ways. The only thing is that it has to be big, and scandalous enough for the word to spread out, not only inside W&H but also in LA, that way I'll have the head hunters off my back as well."

"Two birds with one stone." he nodded appreciatively.


"I wasn't supposed to go that strongly, then, once it started..."

"It's fine, luv." he smiled casually.
"And you weren't too harsh, if you had been gentler, they'd have had doubts. See I'm all healed now. The bruises will go away by tomorrow."

"Thank god" she said, but then frowned "Told you to fight back, why didn't you ? "

He just ignored her question as they both knew very well how hard it'd be for him to harm her even if it was an act.

" Thank God you pretended to be knocked out, and that they finally intervened. They are real slowpokes for a demon hunting team, guess all that lawyering gets to you, huh ?"

"Well they can't be as perfect as I am, can they ?"

They just smiled at each other.

"But why did you bring up Wind beneath my Wings ?! You had to talk about that ?!"

She added even though they both understood they had only picked on each other's quirks because they didn't want to use the more private things to fool the enemy.
They weren't ready to ask yet, to get the answers they feared they'd get.

"It was just in the spur of the moment, you know. I hate plans, and you just said : 'Let's play it up a little so that they believe Buffy's gone for good, I'm sure we can improvise something ! You're good at impro ! ' And YOU're the one who started with the bloody Bot. " he exhaling his smoke.

"I'm just glad Fred intervened. She is quite a number isn't she ? " Buffy rused.

"She's a great girl. Very brilliant and braver than she looks, a lot tougher too."

"Oh."

"She's with Wesley."

"OK."

After a moment of hesitation she asked : "Do you think it was credible ? Do you think the W&H spies bought it ? "

"Oh my nose and chin can testify and my jaw nominates you for the Emmy Awards. No way they'd think you were still in LA."

Buffy's hand started to reach out wanting to touch his wounds, but she withdrew midway. He still managed to catch her hand with his and put in on his cheek.
"See, it doesn't even hurt."

She let herself feel his skin under her palm for a few seconds before he let go and her hand was just lingered a few seconds before leting go.
"You weren't such a bad actor either." Wondering if everything had been really playacting.

Buffy then frowned, "You know the gang more than me, do you think they'll come to our side ? "

"I think they will."

"I'm still a little worried, we have nothing to offer but risks and danger and possibly death, compared to what they have now... Even I'd be tempted."

"You wouldn't, but they're good people, they want to fight on the good side, they will."

"And Angel... I thought he'd be the one who'd pull me away, he knows he's the only one strong enough."
Still feeling uneasy about her ex-lover behaviour.

"Don't worry, he didn't turn evil, the soul's still kicking and all. Just normal reaction : I wouldn't have intervened either if he was the one you hit."
Spike couldn't believe he defended the poofter, but the slayer needed reinsurance.
She wasn't always the self-confident girl she made herself appear.

" You sure ? "

Spike nodded again.

After a few minutes she asked not beating around the bushes anymore as she couldn't stay too long :
"Do you think we overdid it ? Maybe they thought we were for real and won't come to our side, maybe they think I really left."

"They'll have doubts but they'll come. And you told them you were gonna do something drastic so that the head hunters would go away and leave W&H unsuspecting."

She smiled and they settled in a comfortable silence.

"But why did you have to talk about 'Wind beneath my Wings' ?"

And Spike couldn't help but smile at her little obsession, but he knew she fixated her mind on that because she wanted to avoid talking about more truth revealing things they let out during that fight. She also didn't want to show her nervousness about that plan of hers, so deciding to humour her, he snikered :

" Yeah, right, know what ? Wind beneath my Wings sucks and I stand my point. "

Gunn had been stunned by the way the blonde vixen had stormed out from the office yelling her lungs out that she'd never come back, that she'd never helped them like she promised.
Looking at this battered vampire he came to befriend, he wondered about those two unresolved business..
They were so obviously wrong for each other, or maybe not ?

He couldn't tell, was never good at reading people.
He thought back about the proposition she made the night before, was it still available ?

If it was would he accept it ?
She had been right when she said it was a hard choice and if they decided to betray W&H, there was no coming back, the firm would get the big guns out to punish and eventually kill.
Having been fighting them for a long time and working for them for a few months, he knew what kind of power they had, and the punishment wouldn't be pretty, maybe dying would be a relief compared to all the other things the Senior partners would do to them.
Did they have any chance to even win ? He wondered.
He knew he'd lose many things, first his lawyer skill, that sounded petty but they made him feel powerful and useful. He, the highschool drop out became someone, expert at something.
Then he might lose his friends, and Fred.

He had to get out, get out for air, away from the firm.
He went to the only place that made him feel useful, the Center.
At least he knew that what he did there was good, unstained.

The girl, no the woman who ran the place was a hell of a woman, strongwilled, brilliant and so beautiful.
But the most important was that she had such a big heart and was only thinking helping others, teenagers like he used to be.
She was one of the most pure hearted people he ever met, which happened 6 years ago as she started to let teens sleep in her flat as she was waitressing.
She explained to him that she knew what being through a hard patch was like and someone had helped her a few times so she wanted to do the same for others, making a difference.
Then he got news a year later that she was opening a center to help teen, he had been one of those and then helped her when she needed him.

Now he needed her, he needed to ask her what way to chose, but he knew he couldn't, he couldn't drag her into it, so he just went there to be around her and see if he could help out.
She frowned as she saw him, not looking very pleased, she asked,


"Do I know you ?"


Gunn couldn't help but cringe,


"Anne, I know I haven't been around lately but I came to help."


"Well if by lately you mean almost a year, then yeah, you haven't been around lately" she answered tartly while she kept on unloading the truck.


"Here take those boxes in" she ordered him.

Gunn sighed in relief.


After they took everything in, she poured lemonade for the both of them in her office and asked : "What do you need me for Gunn ?"


She was so sharp.


"Nothing, really, just came to see if you needed any help."


"Well since I know who you and Angel work for right now, I don't think I can afford that anymore."


She had seen the changes in her friend, the signature clothes, the car he had parked not far from there, the lack of visits, and the awful look on his face.


"What do you want ? Not helping I think, since your clothes alone could feed us for a week." still angry that he never came back after his strange ascension in the social ladder.


"I... I'm sorry. I don't know how it happened. No, I know what happened, I'm so ashamed. I can't even look in the mirror someday, But I'm scared that there's no turning back. I don't know if I'm strong enough to turn back."


She had never seen him that distressed, she cooled down :

"Why don't you tell me what's happening ? What had happened ? One day you say they are the root of evil and then the next you get all lawyery and work for them. It's kinda confusing. "


"I can't, that's too dangerous, can't endanger you."


"I see. Then let me tell you something, it's never too late to go back, you have to believe in yourself, in what you think is right and just do it, one step after another, to protect what you believe in." she held his hand in hers.


"You want to go back, you just needed support and help, I can't help much but I'll support your decision as a friend."


He hugged her and when he let go he whispered in her ear " Thank you." Gunn had made an important decision.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wesley and Fred were in a restaurant, dining like any other couples chatting together, smiling at each other like any couple in love.
They didn't talk about their friends, about W&H, about that amazing offer they received, the choice they had to make.
Wesley had already made his choice, he knew he had to pull Fred out of that place she seemed to have so easily settled in, he just didn't know if she'd agree.
He didn't care about himself, about his life or even his soul. But Fred, his Fred, was so gentle and kind, the most brilliant mind he's ever known, the most beautiful woman and the purest one.
He wouldn't let her in the hands of those like W&H, not when they just started.
But he knew he couldn't tell her that, not directly anyway.

He knew Buffy, she had been a slayer for 8 years now, and if she went to such lenght to offer her help, that meant they needed it, they had made a choice that day, the wrong one obviously, and it was time to change things, to fix it, hoping it wasn't too late.
And if it was going to work, the only way was to surprise the Senior Partners. To trick them and work in the shadows for once.

But he needed Fred to be with him in that. As he drove her home, he looked into her eyes and kissed her, he kissed her tenderly, savouring her, caressing her hair gently.

"Do you want us to do this together ?" he just asked, hoping she'd understand his real question.

"Oh, Wes, you don't know how glad I am !" she hugged him hard.

Fred had been thinking hard about what the slayer had said.
Buffy was such a charming woman, so persuasive and beautiful, she understood how both Angel and Spike, both champions had fallen for her.
She didn't really get how Spike and Buffy had ended up fighting, but she could see that Buffy would still be there to help them, because she was a champion as well, a champion for the Good.

Fred had been wanting to leave the firm for sometime now, what they had her researsh on had been unbelievable, making her so uncomfortable.
But she never dared to tell her friends, she was too scared, too scared of what might happen to her, to them, to Wes.
The less they knew, the better she thought.
She knew they wouldn't be able to get out by themselves, not in one piece anyway, but with the help of hundreds of slayer, with powerful magic and knowledge, they might stand a chance and she was willing to take it if her family was in there with her.

Angel watched Buffy storm out and Spike slowly coming to, he didn't know how to feel, he had been used to see the pair fight and bicker before he left for LA, especially the night Spike came back to kidnap Willow and Xander, he had stopped them from killing each other many times.

Then he had been stunned when he discovered that during his years in LA, their relationship changed, that their HAD a relationship, one he could not understand nor imagine.

Buffy said Spike had been helping, that he had gotten himself a soul, that the other one was in her heart. What a douche, getting a soul just to get into her pants !

Well, he might be unfair, Angel knowing more than anyone what a soul could do to a vampire with their past.

But the next thing he knew, he got chased out of Sunnydale just to protect Spike's feelings ?

Then Spike came back for the most irritating months of his life, unceasingly repeating how much he loved Buffy, how he willingly got a soul and died for her.. And decided to stay away from her, like he did after her graduation. Maybe Spike did love Buffy, Spike thought of Buffy's needs before his own, Spike understood that she needed a normal life.

Though he never really doubted Spike's ability to love : it had always disgusted Angelus and irritated Angel.

And Buffy.. Well, she was Buffy. How could one not fall in love with her ?

The question was what had she seen in Spike ?!

Too much was going on in his mind, too much information, images, questions, just too much !

The last three days had been like a roller coaster !

Seeing Buffy in Rome with The immortal, then her arriving in LA. Having her back in his life after thinking he had disappointed her, that she thought he had switched sides, that she didn't trust him anymore was a bliss.

He had talked to her, pouring his soul to her, telling her things he had hidden from all of his closest friends, just because she was Buffy. He had felt so much lighter after that.

He thought Spike was the past for her, their relationship had seemed to be over with Spike avoiding her and her ignoring him.

He thought that maybe she'd make it right again, like they used to be, before.. before everything.

But then he saw them, together, in the most crude way possible, Spike and Buffy weren't over, however volatile their relationship might be.

He could imagine the physical intercourse that happened, he knew it happened before, could bear with it and dismiss it.

He slept with Nina even though she hadn't been the One, even though he wasn't really in love with her.. He COULD understand lust.

But too bad it wasn't just lust, the affection she had in her eyes when she looked at the other vampire, how she scanned the party looking for him, and then when she asked to be left alone with him after Dawn's breakdown, THAT he could not dismiss.

Spike was telling the truth, as much as he tried to play blind, Spike and Buffy had had something true, it most certainly was still there.

He had tried to lie to himself, tried to lie to the overly empathic Lorne, but he saw her eyes when she tried to reach to Spike through the guilt. So gentle, understanding, overbearing.

They had something true and strong, something he could not let continue : it was too dangerous for her.

Still remembering what Dawnie said, about cheating, attempted rape and killings : how could he trust Spike with Buffy ?

He needed to protect her ! From Spike, from her too trusting and good nature.

Especially after seeing how dangerous the feelings they had for each other were. How Spike could lay his hand on her, hurt her once more.

He couldn't let Spike hurt Buffy ! He told himself again and again before going to sleep.

"Angel ! Wake up ! " a familiar voice called to him. "What the hell are you doing ?! What did you do ?!"

It was Cordelia who was calling him, she looked radiant, not sick and weak like the last time he saw her in her hospital bed.

She smiled at him. "Close your mouth and get dressed ! We've got to go !"

"Cordy ?!"

And in a second he was all dressed and following her in the corridors of W&H.

She brought him to the conference room where were waiting Gunn, Fred, Wesley and Lorne.

They didn't seem to be surprised to see her. They just started to talk about some things they had to do, the places they had to do, before he stopped them.

"We have to help Buffy ! Have to protect her ! " Angel cut their chit chat.

"What ? " they all asked. "From what ?"

"Spike ! I didn't leave her so that she'd be with him ! I wanted her to be happy and have a normal life ! Spike can't make her happy, he's dangerous ! He's a vampire ! "

"Did we see the same thing ? 'Cause I'm sure as hell she can protect herself ! " said Gunn.

"She's a slayer, The Slayer, she killed the master, you, a Hell God, the First and others you never knew about, she knows what she's doing." sentenced Wesley.

"It felt more like Spike needs our protection from her than the contrary." added Fred very uneasy.

"But Dawn said he had hurt her before and will do it again, he did things to her... "Angel argued.

"Dawn is 16 ! but let's pass on that, whats important is that are you sure you remember the same things we do ? " asked Lorne.

And then he turned on the TV and Dawn appeared, as she was the night before.

" I'm not Buffy ! you may have a special pass with her that she forgives you everything but not with me ! I'll never forgive you !! You hear me never ! "

" Yeah ! Dawn comes home late, she gets grounded, Willow and Anya got all the 'I'll kill you deal' and Giles gets ignored for weeks, but not Spike, right ?! "

" He sleeps with one of your best friend but it's OK since it's Spike, then he tries to RAPE you, kills people post-soul and the punishment is to move into our basement, ALWAYS gets forgiven ! Well I'm not you and I wish he STAYED Dead !! Real dead dead ! " The girl had tears in her eyes and her voice had started to get hoarse, she looked enraged but also a little sad and pained.

"See that's what she said ! "

"Listen again, without coloured glasses" Cordy soothed him.

"You may have a special pass with her that she forgives you"

"Buffy forgave Spike. Who are you to judge them ?" asked gently Cordy.

"But..."

"Buffy made choices and decisions, it's your turn now." said a very cryptic Cordy.

"She doesn't know what's she's doing. She needs my help." Angel said stubbornly.

"Angel, she doesn't, YOU need HER help."

"But... She can't even handle her life, how can she help us ?"

"YOU don't understand what you had done, what's happening !! Angel, I don't have much time here, YOU NEED HER HELP." Cordy stressed once again.

"But..."

"WE need her help." said his friends in unison looking at him.

"You need one more little push, I guess." sighed Cordelia sadly.

On the screen was appearing a dark alley two shadows he didn't recognise, at least until Cordy turned the volume on :

"Do you think it was credible ? Do you think the W&H spies bought it ? "

"Oh my nose and chin can testify and my jaw nominates you for the Emmy Awards. No way they'd think you were still in LA."

Spike was smiling at the dark haired girl Angel now recognised as Buffy.

She was looking at Spike, her eyes full of guilt, worry and... what else !?

"See, it's healed now." He was comforting her ?

And she was caressing his face before putting her hand back to her side regretfully.

"You weren't such a bad actor either." Buffy sounded quite sorry.

"You know the gang more than me, do you think they'll come to our side ? "

"I think they will."

"I'm still a little worried, we have nothing to offer but risks and danger and possibly death, compared to what they have now... Even I'd be tempted."

"You wouldn't, but they're good people, they want to fight on the good side, they will."

"And Angel... I thought he'd be the one who'd pull me away, he knows he's the only one strong enough." She seemed sad and worried. About HIM ?!

Angel now felt a pang of guilt stabbing him.

Cordy added once again :

"Don't judge what you don't know, honey. I'll be waiting for you. Don't forget me."

And she lean on to put a soft kiss on his lips.

Everything then blackened around him and he could only hear his friends say :

"We need Help ! We need her !! "

And Angel snapped out of his dream, catching a very unneeded breath.

Spike knew he couldn't see her again, not until 6 days later, like the others, she made him promise not to go near her house or look for her.
Said she had things to do and that he might be under some kind of surveillance, so he promised her.
However, he was starting to feel tense, he missed her, hell, after his second death, he had missed her so much, but he beared with it because he knew it was for the best, he spent 6 months without seeing her. Well, knowing she was in Europe made it easier.
But now, there she was, so near and he had to stop himself from looking for her, from smelling the surroundings to pick up her scent, just to smell her, but that would lead to too much temptation, he'd want to see her, then touch her, and then be with her again.
Now he realised how much he could not be without her, it was killing him not to see her and it had only been a few hours.
He was stupid, why did he even thought of staying away from her in the first place ?
He was so stupid, bloody stupid soul !!

His soulless self would never had let go of her, would never have chosen to stay away from her, would have picked the crumbs she gave, the pity "I love you" she gave and pretend to believe she really meant it.
They would have been together, she would have had to keep her word and act as if she loved him after he came back !
Being with her everyday, living with her, sleeping with her, touching her, kissing her, being surrounded by her...

But he knew that wasn't true either, the soulless him would never had died in Sunnydale, he would never had been 'champion' enough to wear the bloody trinket, would never have activated it.
The souless him wouldn't have gotten accepted back in her life after what he had done, and most of all, he would never have received those words because he wouldn't have been worthy of even her pity.

But the ensouled him understood why she said that.
Knowing he loved her, that he was in love with her and with all the soul and saving the world deal, she felt obligated to give him the last crumb that made his death worthy of something, and he was grateful.
However he knew what was right, well, not at first, first he had wanted to see her, but his incorporeal self slowly understood what was right.
The great git had been spot on on that, she deserved better, needed someone that she really loved, someone that wasn't a demon or undead.

Fucking soul !!

Now there she was, mad at him, and there they were, having spent one of the most incredible nights of his life and unlife and still back at square one.

He needed to let go of her ! No, he needed to make her really fall in love with him !
That was men do in the old days, well, not him, but other men, find a girl, take her and marry her, staying with her until she loves you.
She still had feelings for him, he knew that, he could see it.
How she looked at him... Yes, he could make her love him, the attraction was still there, undeniably, she could be happy with him, couldn't she ?
NO ! He shook the idea off... He had to do the right thing, help her once more and say goodbye...
Never see her again even though it killed him. Do the sodding right thing.
Maybe he could make do, become a womaniser, forget about her in other girls arms ! Hell he might have a soul, he might love her but there was no way he'd act as a monk ! He was no Angel !
But no blondes, not short-haired blondes, no long haired blondes that'll remind her too much... Why not start with that brunette that was strolling over there ?
Yeah maybe he could do it ! oh... Who was he kidding ?!
Okay, he had to at least try. Show her he wasn't pitiful, didn't need her pity, wasn't worthy of it.
Yeah, sthat bint sure looked good with those low cut hugging jeans, and the hair was not bad, maybe if she turned a little he would see her front...

Damn ! The Powers that Be must have wanted to play a joke on him Spike thought as he recognised the radiant girl that was walking 5 yards from him.
It had to be her, of course !
And so Spike found himself tailing her, making sure that no one was following him, that he was far enough from her so that she wouldn't feel his presence.

He followed her until she arrived at a suburban area, under a window, throwing rocks at it.
Then a young whelp showed his face, climbed down to join her, as if he had been waiting for her.
Spike was definitely surprised at their behaviour, what was she doing outside at night and with this boy ?
He continued to follow but since he had to keep a certain distance, that also meant he couldn't hear what she was saying.

She was taking the boy to patrol, he realised, or rather, she accompanied the boy on patroll, as she didn't move an inch when a couple of vampires attacked them, she let him defend himself, fight by himself, which he did without a glitch to Spike's astonishment.

Then she smiled and patted the boy's shoulder. They walked some more and slayed some more until she took a look at her watch and accompanied the boy home, telling him that she'd come again the next night. The boy smiled broadly to her.

Spike knew what he'd be doing the next night.

"Hey, Buffy ! How is everything going in LA ?"
Buffy finally could relax after patroll, after a cold shower she had prepared herself a wram mug of chocolate and was so happy when her best friend appeared when she checked which Scooby was online.
It had been a long time she hadn't talked one on one with Willow, a real chat, a non work or apocalypse related talk.

"It's kinda messy here and I miss you all a lot."

"Is everything alright ? How did patroll go ? "

"Yeah, it's fine, patrolling was better than I expected, but..."

"Spike ?"

"I was gonna say that I was nervous about the LA crew."

"Nervous ? What are you nervous about ? "

"Well, you know the whole giving up on the dark side, throwing away temptation and evil thing, and also, whether we can keep them alive if they do put their trust in us.. Just regular stuff."

"I've met them, they're not a bad bunch, don't you worry ! You had that dream about LA for a reason, you will make a difference there. Everything will go as planned."

"Thanks, Wills ! " Buffy smiled slightly.

"So how was make up sex with Spike ?"

"What are you talking about ?!"

"The mindblowing you're-not-so-dead sex with the blonde champion of your heart ?"

"Willow !!" Buffy blushed hard.

"So you're not gonna tell your best pal about it ? After all the lenght I went through to keep it to myself that you jumped his bones ?! I want all the details or I'm gonna tell everyone you were wearing Spike's coat and nothing under it ! "

Buffy just smiled at her pushy friend, she had missed that, missed the light hearted camaraderie, the gossip and trust.

"It was great like you said, mind blowing hot monkey sex for hours and hours and hours, we did it in every single position you can imagie and some I can't even spell out, we.." Buffy said with a glee knowing her friend would start lalaing and covering her ears with her hands.

"Okay, note to self, don't ask for details." when Buffy couldn't take it anymore and burst out laughing.

"But I don't think I should have done that."

"What do you mean ? "

"I don't know if I can forgive what he did."

"Let me get this straight : you are staying away from the man you love because you're mad that he stayed away from you ?!"

"Well, that sounds irrational, but... Hey ! Who said anything about love ? "

"Oh please, I'm not daft ! If I didn't know before that you loved him, the months you spent mourning him would have been enough anyway, we all know he's the one you love, Buffy, it's not just me, Giles, Xander, Dawn and most of the original potential know you love him, it was like you were wearing a big 'I love Spike' cardboard for months, only blind people would have missed it..."

"Really ? Everyone knows ? " Buffy was stunned, she thought she had hidden her pain quite effectively, keeping a strong face not to scare the young ones that were depending on her, knowing that he liked her being strong. But all this time, they had tiptoed around her, knowing it all along ?!

"Why do you think you were the one sent to LA ? Don't you think Giles or me or even Xander could have done that and get less suspicion from W&H ? " Willow teased.

"I... I thought you all said I was the best emissary. "

"Of course you are. But a discreet one ? Please.. " Willow realised she got sidetracked by her smart friend "Back on topic, missy !! What the hell are you thinking ? You can be with the man you love and who loves you and you just what !? Get all shirty and say you can't be with him ?!"

"How would you know ? I'm not saying that I love him, maybe I do but I don't think he loves me. And what does shirty mean anyway ? "

"It's like ill tempered. English, my dear, english. " So that was what shirty meant Buffy thought with a smile, Willow had been in Scotland for way too long.

"I know for a fact that you do love him, I suspected it after you know, the whole Buffy-has-sex-with-Spike thing, I mean it's quite a hint, but then I got confirmation on the day you had your date with Robin."

"Huh ?"

"You don't remember ! That's priceless ! You said 'Why does everybody think I'm still in love with Spike?' Hoped you had paid more attention the PSY 101."

"Gosh, I said that, didn't I ? " Buffy hid behind her mug.

"So you love him, and he obviously love you, the guy went into many demoniac trials to get himself a soul, and then he died for you ! "

"Maybe he loved me but not now." Buffy offered.

"Yeah, right, like that's believable ! I only saw him for a couple of minutes, and I saw how he looked at you ! He's still in love with you ! Thinking that he might stop loving you is just wrong, I mean, if he could stop loving you he'd have done it way before you died that time or way before getting himself a soul or sacrificing himself to close the hellmouth ! "

"He did say he was still in love with me.. But what does it change ? "

"It changes everything ! You don't understand how hard it is to find someone you love, to be loved back and have the chance to be together ! I wish I could... " Willow's eyes started to water.

"Wills... You have Kennedy right ? "

"Yeah, I have Kennedy." Willow stated half heartedly.

Buffy realised she had been too engrossed in council and slayer duty, too immersed in her pain of losing Spike and anger to learn that he came back to see that something was wrong with Willow.

"Willow ?"

"Its just, like Spike said, she's no Tara. " Willow cried softly.

"I'm sorrry." Buffy didn't know what more to say.

"It's fine, just saying that not a lot of people get to have second chances, we all wish we could, me with Tara, Xander with Anya and Giles with Ms Calendar, that's why we set you up, that's why we're upset that you don't grab this opportunity."

Buffy couldn't respond to that, the loss they all endured had been bonding them, after Sunnydale, she noticed the change in her friends.
When Xander came and told her how broken hearted he was about Anya, he mgiht have been giving her an opportunity to talk about Spike.
When Giles came to tell her how heroic Spike has been, how wrong his thinking had been, she didn't think more than that.
But now, it stunned her to know all her loved ones were worried about her and saw the extend of her loss and were now supportive of her for this second chance.

"A second chance" she wondered out loud.

"Yes, a second chance, honey."

"I have to think about that, Wills. I don't know if we can make it work. I mean..."

"Yeah ?"

"I think deep down I know he still loves me but it hurts, it hurts that he chose to stay away, that he chose to leave me in pain when coming back was so easy."

"Did he tell you why he didn't ? Why he didn't chose the easier, more agreable way ?"

"You should have heard him, he said he wanted me to have a normal life now that I wasn't the only slayer anymore, oh Gosh ! It was like hearing Angel all over again !"

"Maybe it was." Willow said pensively.

"What do you mean ? Angel put a spell on him to make him stay in LA? " asked Buffy quite hopeful.

"I don't think he went to such lenght, but well, we know why he hadn't contacted you when he was incorporeal, I would have done the same thing, and.."

"we know ?"

"I mean, it makes sense, at that time, you just lost him and he wasn't really alive, at an inch from going to hell, so he thought, not telling you he was alive was like not giving you false hope, not making you lose him twice. And he was bond to LA."

Buffy nodded lightly.

"And afterwards, what do you think happened ? "

"You have to ask him, but if you want my opinion, the time he spent incorporeal, he spent it with Angel, and maybe he got influenced, you know, Angel is still his grandsire and with him knowing you for a longer time maybe he convinced Spike that you'd be better off without a vampire lover ?"

Buffy was so deep in thought that she didn't mind when the door opened Willow 's end of the conversation, Kennedy had come back and the red head just mouthed a goodbye before turning it off. She just had so much thinking to do : was it how it happened ?
Most likely, now that she thought back at how things had been unwrapping.
Knowing the vampires the way she did, it most certainly happened that way. Angel had always been high-handed about everything, even more with her and if Spike still loved her, what to do with it ? Could she put her heart in line again ? Could she not ?
Could she trust Spike to trust her, her love for him ? To not waver again and "leave her for her own good" again ? He was so selfconfident but at the same time clinically unsure when things came to involve her !

Buffy just shouted out her frustrations over the mess she was in, both emotional and apocalypsal.
But for the first time, she thought coming to LA wasn't such a big mistake.

Twenty minutes after they came out of Caritas, Buffy was sure they were headed for trouble, of course she made sure to bring the boy in on a night that Lorne wouldn't be there, but someone else had been there and had been following her, nasty someone, or even nasty someones, she couldn't be sure, but she was sure it was trouble.

Looking at him, she felt proud, after the first days full of distrust and wariness, he warmed up to her and unexpectantly, she warmed up to him more quickly than she thought she would. The boy was good, as good as any of the girls she trained now, he'd get better, but she had to be careful, she wanted to keep his trust, that unwavering trust he had in his eyes she could see from time to time. And she had to keep him safe, or at leas alive, she wouldn't be able to live with herself if he got hurt after she purposedly seeked him out, luring him away from the safe heaven his father had made for him.

"Get behind me" she hissed.

"What ?!" he protested.

The boy wasn't pleased, he knew she was stronger than him, she demonstrated it the day they met, showed him she was like him, but he wasn't one to hide behind a girl, okay, maybe a woman, however strong she was.

"No waaaaay.... " he dragged the last word and his hand on the dagger she gave him
Buffy rolled her eyes and taking out her sword, she nodded to him, ordering him to exchange his weapon against her, hell, if she was letting him fight, the least she could do was to give him the best weapon possible.

And just as they were putting on their fighting stances, three purple demons about 7 feet appeared, running towards them swinging their machettes, they were good, really good fighters, Buffy thought, apparently their heaviness didn't stop them from being very swift.
It had been a long time she hadn't fought such worthy opponents but she had no time to play as she wasn't sure how well he was gonna fare.
For the first time since long, she unwielded her power and quickly jumped up to stab the one who had been trying to behead her in the eye, he yelped, letting go of his weapon to grab her hard, wanting to pull her away, but she gave her wrist a twist and the demon collapsed and she quickly retrieved her dagger and got up to yank the one who had been attacking her protege to the concrete.

Straddling him, she quickly slit the stunned demon's throat, looking dispassionatly at the green goo and the life leaving her attcker.
Buffy got up and looked at him, he was having a hard time with the last one, but when he didn't have the ennemy's strenght and agility, she compensated with his passion and swiftness, the boy was good, but the other one was more experienced and after receiving a hard kick on his kidney, he called for help.
Finally jumping in, Buffy gave a swirling jumping kick on the demon's temple and jumping on his back, broke his neck with her bare hands.
Getting up, she looked at the angry boy, "What ?"

"You watched, just watched and let him beat me up !!"

"Didn't I just kill him ?" Buffy tilted her head.

"You know what I mean."

"I guess I wanted to teach a lesson" she sighed, "You're too confident and careless, slaying is a dangerous business and you're not the strongest."

"You wanted to prove you're the strongest ?"

"Hardly ! " she chuckled, "Those we just killed were better fighters than you but they were really just small fry. Now ease up, there's one more that we need to take care of."

"Isn't it two ? I think I can take them." he asked, eyeing the 6 feet demon who looked quite harmless and the man behind him.

"What did I just say ? Jeez, kids these days ! The demon is likely the other three's boss and, my friend there just subdued him so you do the math, wonderboy."

Now he was eyeing suspiciously the two newcommers.

"Lookie what I found " Spike kicked the guy forward, " Tell the nice lady everything she wants to knwo."

"Why did you send you little pets at me ? Was it for money ? How did you recognised me ?"

"Money ? What do you mean ?!"

"Great ! He doesn't know me and still wanted to kill me huh ? Why ?"

Spike squezzed his throat," We had a job in San Francisco that paid well and came to LA to play. Then I spotted you, see I'm a mind reader and you were the only one who blocked me, I wanted to study you !!"

Buffy nodded and Spike ended the demon's life.

"Come here", she encouraged the wary boy, " Here's my... Spike.... a friend and often my stalker." Said Buffy annoyed.

"Occasionaly stalkee as well." Spike sneered, happy to remind her the last time they saw each other. " And the lad is ?"

Buffy frowned.

"The 'lad' is going home. Go, I'l pick you up tomorrow, I have to talk with him. You can go home by yourself can't you ?"

The boy nodded and went home but still worried about his mentor being by herself with an obviously non human 'Spike'.

"So ? "

"What ?"

"Who's the lad ?"

"None of your business for now. Tell me why you can't stop stalking me ?"

"Not stalking, just a coincidence,... I mean... I mean I was just doing my habitual patrol, you know I do patrol, and then saw you two fighting the big guys and the Goundr'll in the shadows, you know those Goundr'll guys are pretty nasty and all ! didn't want him to blow your cover so caught him... "

"Just a coincidence huh ? Like yesterday and the day before and the day before that ? " Buffy raised her eyebrow.

"What ? No ! Just today ! "

"Please ! Slayer here ! Do you think I'd still be here if I wasn't able to tell if a master vamire was on my heels ? That and you'r a terrible liar.. "

Spike looked down, " Just wanted to make sure no one saw you" he muttered.

Buffy smiled at him, it was times like this she couldn't resist comparing her centanary lover to a little boy, he was so adorable sometimes.

"Thanks." she said raputting her hand on his upper arm.

He took her hand in his and said "I'd do anything for you"

"You got to be more careful though... "

"I made sure no one followed me. They don't care much about me, not part of their big scheme and all that, not important enough for them to care I guess"

" You're important. You're a champion, one that closed a hellmouth. Don't talk about yourself like that."

If vampires could blush Spike thought he would at that moment, but he just looked down and settled in an incomfortable silence waiting for her to say anything.

"You look better, I'm glad you look better." she whispered.

"I told you, it was nothing." he replied when he caught on her lingering guilt over the wounds she left on him.

"... yeah. You did." She just looked at him looked into his eyes wondering what she could do to make him understand what she realised, make him know she wanted a second chance with him. She was never good with relationships, especially Spike-relationships, but she knew she needed him, needed him to be there for her however selfish that was, she couldn't stand the idea of not having him in her life, of returning to those days where she thought he was dead, feeling that hollow and guilty again, but she was even more scared that he didn't want her the same way, scared that however he wanted her he just wasn't in love with her anymore, terrified that that might be the reason why he hid his non-deadedness or whatever the word was for vampires coming back from the dead.

She didn't know if she could take that leap, if she could put her heart in line like that and wait for him to smash it into little bits and still look at him, work with him to handle this apocalypse and knowing he didn't love her anymore, that she mistreated the one man that loved her above anything else so much that she killed that love. To know for sure that she had been so horrible that she was the reason that drove him away that made the man who she thought would never abandon her doing just the same as the other men in her life.
Not knowing what to ask or what to say, closing her eyes, fearing that words would make things worse, Buffy just leaned towards him and kissed him tenderly, almost chastly, trying to convey her love and need for him with actions instead.

Spike couldn't believe it when he saw her lips approaching his, and then when she gave him the most tender, soul baring kiss he ever received he just let go and returned it, he let go of his half hearted promise to himself not to get too close to her, his vow to try and keep himself away from her, to just be a friend and nothing more.

Keeping the kiss tender the longest possible, he let himself dwell on her scent, on the soft feeling of her lips, he kissed her until she gasped for air and then couldn't help but open his mouth as well to let his toungue explore the cavity of her mouth, to dance with hers, to taste her like his life depended on it. He didn't how it happened but her hands were suddenly on his back and he put one of his on her shoulder caressing it but he felt her wince, he stepped away looking at her and finally noticed her pained expression.

"What ? Are you alright ?"

"It's fine, just took a small hit from Purply."

"I'm taking you home" he frowned, no way he'd let her being a target from all the LA monsters while being injured.

"I'm fine, got myself some things to do, and have to see the guys in 3 days." she sighed.

"And the lad to train ? What is he ?"

"... Spike, it's better you don't know."

he just raised his eyebrow, " Well, whatever he is I won't let you run around like ...."

"You won't LET me ?!" she glared at him. But she calmed herself down right away, no need to go back to old patterns. "Take me hoome, we'll talk there" she sighed.

To say that she astonished him was an understatement, he thought she would have punched him as soon as the words left his mouth, knew she wouldn't like him telling her what to do.
But you don't look a gift horse in the mouth, so he just went along and took her back to her place.

After they arrived he asked her were the healing paraphernalia was and started dressing her wound after she took off her shirt, he was so fixated on her wound and worried that she may have some broken bones that he didn't even notice she was now only on her tube top and how much of her cleavage and stomach was showing until he finished she reassured him that she was only bruised.

She looked into his eyes and tiptoed to kiss him, this time more passionately, with all her heart, her hands carressing his chest, trying to reach out for more, for him to show him her love, to make him understand how much she needed him, how much she loved him.