As Buffy Summers caught sight of his face, she remembered why three o’clock p.m. was her absolute favorite time of day. She waved goodbye to her friend Willow and focused on her favorite spectacle.



William Pratt was leaning against the side of his car looking like James Dean with platinum hair. Hands in pockets, cigarette dangling from his lips and dressed in his usual jeans and t-shirt. She could see him smirking as she neared the car and she felt those familiar “butterflies” in her stomach.



“How many hearts you break today, pet?” he asked with a teasing grin.



“Shut up,” she retorted, flushing red with embarrassment.



“Gotta come up with a better comeback than that, Summers!”



“I’m sorry I haven’t attained your level of snark yet, Will.”



“Sarcasm, much better,” he joked. This type of back and forth with teasing jokes was typical for the Buffy and Will.



“Where’s Xander?” Buffy asked.



It was unusual for her big brother to not be there with Will. Everyday at three, Buffy would leave school, say goodbye to her friend Willow and meet Xander and Will in the school parking lot. Will would drive them home in his black DeSoto. He would stay at their house for a while, usually doing homework. Xander always swore that Will was the only reason he had gotten through most of high school.



“We cut out early today. I came back to get you,” he informed her.



“You know, Will, there are better ways to spend your afternoon than smoking weed in Xander’s bedroom.”



“Who says we were smoking? Matter of fact, we left early so we could study. We only missed gym and home ec, both those classes are a bloody waste of time if you ask me,” he said as he opened his car door and climbed inside.



“Well, at least I get to ride shotgun for once,” she sighed and got into the passenger seat.



“A true rarity, luv. Enjoy it while you can.” He started to pull out of the lot. “Seatbelt, Buffy!” he scolded her.



“You’re not wearing yours,” she noted.



“Yes, and that’s because I’ve got no one to care if I fly through the windshield. You, however, have a mum and brother who would miss you very much.”



“Ugh, whatever,” she clicked her seatbelt into place. She wished that she could hear Will say that he cared about her, not that her just mom and Xander would miss her.



They drove in comfortable silence. Buffy would glance at Will every so often, not being able to help herself.



‘Why does Xander have to have such a hot best friend?’ she wondered to herself.



Xander and Will had been friends since their first day of seventh grade. Will had just moved to Sunnydale from England. Xander being the friendly guy he was immediately befriended Will. They had been nearly inseparable ever since. Buffy was ten at the time, but remembered being immediately besotted with Will. He had been much more nerdy then, with glasses and his naturally curly brown hair. Even so, Buffy thought he was the most beautiful boy she had ever seen and five years and puberty had done nothing to diminish her feelings. In fact, they had only grown since she had gotten to know Will.



He was at their house almost all the time, having a somewhat troubling home life. His parents fought constantly, both having a drinking problem, so he was eager to get out of the house. Buffy and Xander’s parents were divorced, and their mother Joyce was as warm and welcoming as a mother could be. She had become a second mother to Will, and a far better one than his own at that. Joyce was taken by Will’s charms as quickly as Buffy had, and Will became a part of the Summers family.



So Buffy was doomed to pine after Will forever, holding onto the hope that maybe he would feel the same someday.



Buffy decided to break the silence,



“Have you applied to any schools yet?” she asked. Will and Xander were both seniors, and as it was November, they should both be considering their options. However, Buffy had heard little about either of their plans. Xander usually just shrugged the question off when Buffy or Joyce would bring it up.



“Um, not yet,” he said quickly.



“But, Will, you’re so smart! You could get into almost any school. Have you even thought of any yet?”



“I dunno, pet. I just haven’t,” he said evasively. Buffy decided to drop the subject. Clearly it was a touchy subject for Will.



She always wished that he would talk to her more, at least about things that were important. Sure, he was around a lot and he teased her the same way a brother would. She supposed that things would always be this way, especially because of Xander and Will’s seemingly impenetrable relationship.



They pulled up to Buffy’s house and Will parked in his usual spot. Joyce worked long hours at a local gallery, so Buffy and Xander were usually left to fend for themselves.



When they entered the house, Xander was sitting on the couch with the television on. He had a bag of chips in his lap and was drinking one of the beers he and Will had bought with their fake I.D.s. Buffy noticed the glazed look in Xanders bloodshot eyes.



“You guys were getting high! I knew it!” she exclaimed.



“I was not getting high. You’re brother, however…” he trailed off, looking at Xander disapprovingly. “ We left school early so you could study for that history test your probably gonna fail, not so you could get high, mate.”



The weed had mellowed Xander, and Will’s scolding barely fazed him.



“Chill out, Will. It’ll be fine,” he drawled.



“No it won’t, Xander!” Buffy butted in. “Mom is gonna kill you if you fail another test! Not to mention if she finds out you were smoking in the house again.”



“Kitten, please,” Will turned to her. “I’ll take care of it.”



Buffy knew he wanted her to leave. This was the perfect example of the two boys shutting her out. Deep down, she knew Will was right. He had always had a way of getting through to Xander that Buffy and Joyce could never manage. However, Buffy was still hurt by the condescending tone he took with her. She started to leave the room and head up to her room.



“Don’t forget to put your bong away before mom gets home!” she yelled from the stairs in the brattiest voice she could muster. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t act like a ten year old if I want Will to see me as an equal,’ she thought to herself.



Buffy left her door open so she could try and hear their conversation. She listened hard, but could only hear their muffled voices. She decided to de her own homework while she waited.



After finishing her math homework, she figured it was safe to go back downstairs.



She entered the living room and saw Will drawing in a sketchbook while Xander slept with his feet in Will’s lap. Will barely looked up as Buffy entered, but sensed her presence.



“He’s sleeping until he sobers up. He should be ready to study before Joyce gets home.”



“ What did you say to him?” she asked out of curiosity.



“Nothing special, just made him realize a few things.”



‘Could he be more vague,’ Buffy thought.



Yet, so it was the nature of Xander and Will’s relationship. They kept each other in line. When Will got so angry, usually with his parents, Xander was the only one who could calm him. Conversely, when Xander let his lazy tendencies get the best of him, Will managed to motivate him.



Buffy sat down in the armchair across from the couch and watched Will as he drew the sleeping Xander. She noticed their complete comfort with each other and couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy at their closeness, wondering what it was that made them so close.

As Buffy sat in English class, she pondered the incident from the previous day. Like Will had said he would, Xander woke up around five and they studied until Joyce got home. Will had stayed for dinner, as he often did, and left when

‘Here I am thinking about Will again…’ she thought to herself, staring out the window.

As she daydreamed, she watched as boys began to run onto the school soccer field that the window looked out onto. She perked up when she saw Will and Xander running in the group. She watched intently as the coach blew his whistle and they began a game of soccer. She focused in on Will’s lithe form as he ran gracefully after the ball, stealing it from another boy and kicking it into the goal where Xander half-heartedly tried to block it. For someone who skipped gym class and played no sports, Will was very good at soccer. Buffy supposed it was because of his background.

‘They love soccer over there, don’t they? Or do they call it football? I’ve heard Will say that before.’ She decided that Will was just a natural athlete, blessed by the gods with good looks and effortless talent.

Converse to Will, Xander lacked any athletic ability. He was fortunate that his fast metabolism allowed him to eat as much as he did, because he avoided physical activity whenever he could.

Buffy watched as Will high-fived a few members of his team as Xander threw the ball back onto the field. Will attacked again, easily sending the ball past Xander, who didn’t even try to stop it. Buffy smiled to herself, marveling over the magnificence that was William Pratt.

‘God, he’s so-‘

“Miss Summers!” She was pulled out of her reverie by the loud voice of Mrs. Olsen, her English teacher.

“What? I’m sorry!” She straightened in her seat and looked to the stern face of her teacher.

“I asked you to talk about the use of symbolism in A Tale of Two Cities.”

“Oh, um…” she scrambled through her notes, looking for her homework.

“Maybe you should spend less time ogling the boys in shorts and pay attention in my class, Miss Summers.” Mrs. Olsen looked at her.

Buffy reddened, hearing snickers from some of the other students and earning a sympathetic look from Willow, who sat next to her.

“Miss Rosenberg!” Willow’s head snapped to the front of the room. “Maybe you can tell Miss Summers about the book, since she seems to be unprepared.”

Willow began to ramble on in her usual nervous manner. Buffy tried to listen as she looked at her desk, trying to hide her embarrassment. She was saved from any further torture by the sound of the bell. As she began to gather her things, she took a glance out the window as the boys began to head back into the school. She watched as Will playfully punched Xander in the arm, then slung his arm around Xander’s shoulders as they walked across the field. Will leaned closer to Xander’s and said something to him, causing Xander to erupt with laughter. Again, Buffy felt that familiar feeling of envy wash over her as she turned to leave the classroom.

******

Buffy and Willow stood in the parking lot waiting for Xander and Will to come outside. Buffy had invited Willow over to study for a few hours that afternoon. Buffy’s face lit up as she saw the two boys walking toward them.

“Hello, ladies,” Will said in a faux-suave voice. Willow flushed red when he gave her a wink.

“Guys, you remember my friend Willow. She’s coming over to study for a while,” Buffy informed them.

“I hear you’re quite the brain,” Xander said with an easy smile. “Hope you can help my sister turn those B’s into A’s.”

“You’re one to talk, Xan. Without Will you’d still be in the seventh grade.”

“Ouch, Buff. Hit me where it hurts.” Xander put his hand over his heart in a dramatic mock-pain gesture. “Besides, Mom’s given up on me doing anything great with my life. All her hopes rest on you now,” he joked.

“Lot of pressure, isn’t it pet?” Will smiled at her.

Buffy resorted to her usually comeback. “Shut up,” she retorted and turn to get into the back seat of the cars. The others followed suit and they were on their way to the Summers house. Buffy and Willow sat quietly in the back seat as Xander and Will had a boisterous debate about television shows.

“C’mon, mate,” Spike went on,” is there any reason for there to be another vampire show on T.V. It’s bad enough we got those bloody Twilight movies.”

“True Blood is a really good show,” Xander defended. “There’s sex, violence, drama, comedy, all you could ever want in a show!”
“So does Passions. It’s much better.” Spike said with a smug grin.

“And you think I have bad taste in T.V. shows.”

They continued to bicker as they arrived at home. Buffy and Willow quietly giggled at the boys’ silly argument. When they got inside, Will and Xander went up to Xander’s room to do their homework, as they usually did. Buffy and Willow went into the kitchen to grab a snack and get started on their studying.

“Want some juice,” Buffy asked Willow as she pulled two glasses from a cabinet.

“Sure,” Willow said with a smile. Buffy began to pour the juice. “ Xander and Will are really funny together.”

“Oh, yeah. They bicker like that all the time,” Buffy replied. “It’s not so funny when you’re around them twenty four seven,” she rolled her eyes.

“So Will’s around a lot then?’ Willow asked.

“Yeah, he hates his house so he and Xander always hang out here. Mom loves Will like he’s her own kid, so it’s no big deal.”

“What’s the deal with Will and Xander, anyway?”

“They’re best friends. They have been for five years actually.”

Willow looked at her skeptically. “They’re so…comfortable…with each other.”

“Yeah, they’ve been close for as long as they’ve known each other.” Buffy continued, oblivious to Willow’s subtle implication, “Nobody can really touch them. God knows I’ve tried.” She wore a wistful expression on her face, which Willow took note of.
“You really like him, don’t you?” she asked softly.

“Is it that obvious?” she flushed.

Willow giggled, “Kind of.” She continued, “It’s just the way you look at him. I mean, just today in English class-“

“Ugh, don’t remind me!” she exclaimed. “We should probably get to studying.”

“My specialty,” Willow said with a big grin.

*****

Later that night, Buffy got a rare opportunity to spend time alone with her brother. Will had left earlier then usual, without giving much more of an explanation than “I have things to do.” Joyce was working late, which left Buffy and Xander to have dinner alone.
Sometimes she really missed spending time with him like they had when they were young children.

Buffy heated up soup for both of them, not trusting herself or Xander to make anything better than that. She brought the bowls into the living room and set them on the coffee table. Xander was intently watching one of the rare music videos playing on MTV.
Xander had always harbored a love of hip-hop music, a fact that always caused heated debates between him and Will. Xander picked up his bowl of soup and started eating, still watching the television. Buffy sat next to him on the sofa and began to eat as well. She watched him, waiting for him to say something to her.

She turned to look at the television, seeing a girl in a pink wig bending over, her enormous behind highlighted perfectly. She took in the music as well, remembering hearing the song on the radio.

“So…” Xander started,” do you think that’s her real ass?”

Buffy erupted into laughter and quickly forgot the distance that she had felt before. They fell into their easy banter and spent the rest of the night enjoying each other’s company.

******


Buffy sat in the cafeteria and wondered why anyone in his or her right mind would want to be here. After sitting in classrooms for hours, the students unleashed their energy at lunchtime, resulting in a boisterous cacophony in the large room. Will and Xander were so lucky they were senior and were allowed to leave campus for lunch. She struggled to listen to Willow’s chatter over the noise of rowdy teenagers.

She nodded every so often at the things Willow said. However, she focused her attention at the door when she saw Will and Xander enter.

“What are they doing here?” she wondered aloud.

“Don’t they usually leave for lunch?” Willow asked her.

“Yeah…” she trailed off as she saw them spot her and head towards here. Smiles broke out of both of their faces, which Buffy easily returned.

“Hey, Buffster,” Xander used his old nickname for her as her approached her table.

“What are you two doing here?” she questioned.

“We’re heading home early today and Will has a dentist appointment to go to, so we won’t be here to pick bring you home later.” Xander informed her.

“Oh, okay. I guess I’ll just take the bus then,” she said, trying to hide her disappointment.

“We’ll see you later, okay pet?” Will added.

“Yeah,” she smiled up at him.

They uttered goodbyes as they turned and exited the cafeteria. Buffy noticed a lot of other students watching them, girls giggling; probably gushing over the hotness that was Will. ‘Maybe Xander too,’ Buffy conceded, as she mostly refused to think of her brother that way. ‘Too weird,’ she thought. Buffy’s musing was interrupted by the large figure that planted himself in the seat next to her. She turned to gaze upon one Riley Finn.

Riley was a junior and a member of the football team. He was cute enough, even if too big and tall for Buffy. Riley had taken an interest in Buffy about a month previous, which she decided was due to the fact that she had gotten her braces off and started wearing makeup. She had been lightly encouraging the flirtation in a half-hearted attempt to get over her hopeless crush on Will. However, it was to no avail.

Buffy liked Riley well enough. He was always a gentleman and carried her books for her. She could tell he was waiting for the right moment to ask her out. She hadn’t decided if she would say yes or not.

“Hey, Buffy,” he greeted her with a wide smile.

“Hi,” she smiled back genuinely.

“I’m gonna go get another soda,” Willow got up from her seat in an effort to give the two some privacy. Although, in the crowded cafeteria it was a near impossibility.

“What’s up?” she turned back to Riley.

“Just wanted to come talk to you. You look lovely as usual,” he flirted.

Buffy blushed at his compliments and fiddling nervously with her bracelet.

“I was wondering,” he began, “if you wanted to go with me to Cordelia’s party this Saturday. What do you say? Her parents are out of town so it should be a good time.”

Buffy decided that it was time to give in and see if this thing with her and Riley could become anything real. She had never been to one of Cordelia Chase’s parties before either, but heard they were the best of the best.

“Okay,” she said, “I’d love to.”

“Great!” he said excitedly. “I’ll pick you up at 8?”

“Sounds great.”

The bell rang, signaling the end of the lunch period.

“Can I walk you to class?” he asked her hopefully, picking up her books from the table.

“Yeah,” she said as they went to exit the cafeteria. As he rambled on about who knows what, Buffy’s mind wandered to Will and if he would even blink an eye that she had a date that weekend. ‘Fat chance’ she thought, and turned her attention back to Riley.

****


Cordelia Chase tapped her on the shoulder in math class the next period. The teacher had yet to arrive and students talked amongst themselves. Buffy was usually silent in the class, as Willow was not in it with her, due to here higher aptitude. Buffy was surprised to turn around and see Cordelia smiling at her. Cordelia had barely spoken two words to her in her whole life, even though they had been in school together since kindergarten.

“So, I heard Riley asked you to the party this weekend,” Cordelia said in a singsong voice.

Buffy was baffled that Cordelia had heard already, it had happened less than an hour ago. Cordelia read the confused look on Buffy’s face.

“Riley told me after he asked you. He was so excited. He really likes you.” Cordelia smiled at her genuinely. Buffy decided that Cordelia might not be so bad after all.

“I really like him, too,” Buffy exaggerated, wanting to sound as excited as Cordelia did. She still couldn’t get over the fact that Cordelia Chase was talking to her, let alone being nice.

“On another noted,” Cordelia went on, “I saw your brother and that guy Will in the cafeteria today. All the girls were in a tizzy, especially Harmony. She thinks Will is so dreamy,” Cordelia rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, he gets that a lot,” Buffy said, unenthused.

“It’s too bad really,” Cordelia said shaking her head.

Buffy furrowed her brow, confused at Cordelia’s statement. ‘What did she mean by that?’

“What do you mean?” Buffy questioned.

“You know,” Cordelia whispered, “that he’s gay.”

“Wait, what?” Buffy was really confused now. ‘Since when was Will gay?’

“Aren’t he and Xander together?”

Buffy opened her mouth to say something, but couldn’t come up with words that made any sense.
Cordelia continued, “At least that’s what everyone else says. I mean, it seems like it’s pretty common knowledge at this point. They spend all their time together. They never really talk to anyone else. I’ve seen them hug, Buffy. I mean, straight guys don’t do that, at least not at school. I can’t believe…”

Buffy started to tune out Cordelia’s babbling, trying to contemplate the bomb that had just been dropped.

Buffy had no idea what to do.

‘Could it be true,’ she wondered to herself, as she sat through her next class. So great was her distraction that she couldn’t have told someone the subject if they asked her.

‘This is Xander and Will we’re talking about. I know them better than anyone. They couldn’t possibly keep something like this a secret, could they? I mean, they are awfully close. And they don’t hang out with anyone but each other. But, that’s only cause they dislike everyone else, right? No no no. It’s just a rumor. It has to be. I mean, Will isn’t…and Xander certainly…WHAT THE HELL?!’ Buffy’s internal monologue was about to make her head explode.

‘Cordelia just likes to gossip. Yeah, that’s it. She’d say anything to get people talking. But, she did say that other people said it, too. It would explain why neither of them have had any girlfriends. Well, except that slutty Dru girl that Will was into last year. That ended fast though, Xander hated her. They do spend a lot of time in Xander’s room with the door shut. NO, don’t go there, Buffy. I don’t even wanna think about Will and Xander…oh god. Stop it, Buffy! Calm down…breath…ok, better. Now think, it could all be one big rumor. Yeah, that’s it. It’s gotta be just a rumor. Maybe I should just ask them. They might think it’s hysterical and ridiculous. But, what if it’s true?”

The ringing of the bell interrupted Buffy’s mind numbing dilemma.

‘I don’t even know what class I’m leaving,’ she thought as she gathered her belongings. She rushed out of the room, wanting this day to be over as soon as possible. She walked through the hallway, mind still racing.

“Buffy, are you ok?”

Buffy stopped short and turned to the voice that came from behind her. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw it was Willow.

“Willow!” she exclaimed. ‘I can talk to Willow about this, right? She’s basically my best friend. Who else could I talk to about it?’

“Could we talk, Willow?” Buffy glanced around the hallway, noting the large throngs of students rushing to classes. “In private,” she added.

“Is everything ok? You look kind of…distressed,” Willow said as she took Buffy’s arm and started to guide her down the hallway.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just…I need some advice…or something,” she said nervously.

Willow and Buffy reached the library, a place they both knew that they’d be able to talk in private, as not many students ventured there. They found a table in the back, behing some shelves and sat down.

“What’s up?” Willow’s eyes were bright with curiosity and concern.

“I um…Cordelia said something to me about…I mean…ok…” Buffy took a breath. “Have you heard any rumors about Will and Xander…”

Willow looked at her expectantly as Buffy spoke carefully.

“…Being…together? Like, together together?” she finished, a desperate look in her eyes.

“Um, yeah,” Willow started slowly, trying to gauge Buffy’s reaction. “I’ve heard things from people. I thought you knew. I mean, I kind of hinted to it the other night, but I guess that you didn’t pick up on it. Not that you aren’t smart, Buffy! It’s just…I guess you must be too close so you don’t want to see it. Or, maybe it’s...” Willow began to ramble on, as she often did when she got nervous.

“Do you really think it’s true?” Buffy asked in a small voice.

“I know you don’t wanna hear this, Buffy, but, it seems pretty obvious. I mean, look at how close they are. It just seems different than most other best friends. You see that, right?”

“Yeah, I know that. But, I just don’t understand why I wouldn’t know about it,” Buffy said sadly.

“Buffy, I know you love Will, or really like him, but-“

Buffy cut her off. “It’s not about that, Willow! Well, maybe it’s a little bit about that. It just that, why wouldn’t they tell me?” Her eyes started to tear up as she spoke.

Willow spoke softly. “I dunno, Buffy. I mean, maybe they were afraid of how you’d take it. Being a gay teen is hard, or so I’ve heard. Maybe you should just ask Xander. Be up front. He’s your brother, he knows you love him.” Willow smiled softly.

“I wouldn’t even know where to start. I can’t just be all, ‘hey, Xan, are you and Will gay together?’ I mean, really Willow, it’s-“

“Buffy!” Willow exclaimed. She continued softly,” You need to talk to him. It’s the only way you’re going to get any real answers. Everything’s gonna be ok, I’m sure of it.” Willow tried to reassure her. She reached out to Buffy and gave her a comforting hug, which Buffy readily accepted.

Buffy contemplated Willow’s words and tried to calm herself. Yet, she couldn’t shake the feeling that this would change everything.

Heart pounding, Buffy opened the front door of her house. She had no clue what she was going to do when she saw Xander. She had spent the whole torturous bus ride deciding what she was going to say, getting reassurances from Willow all the while. However, nothing reduced the churning of her stomach at the thought of the conversation she needed to have with her brother.

There was no sign of Xander on the first floor and Buffy figured he was in his room. She took the opportunity to go into the bathroom and pop some ibuprofen. The brain aerobics she had been going through for the past few hours had given her a throbbing headache. She stared at herself in the mirror for a moment before splashing some water on here face.

‘Calm down, Buffy,’ she told herself, trying to eliminate the panicked look she was sure was evident on her face.

As she was about to exit the bathroom, she heard Xander pounding down the stairs. She took a deep breath and went to find him. As she walked into the kitchen, she was met with Xander’s backside. He had his head in the pantry and was rifling through all the snacks inside. She knew from that and the aroma that followed in his wake that she wouldn’t be asking him today.

A moment later he turned toward her, a handful of cheez-its already in his mouth.

“Hey, Buffster,” he said around a mouthful of food. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” she said quickly. “I have homework.” At that, she picked up her bag and rushed up to her room. She knew she couldn’t possibly ask him when he was high; it just wasn’t the right time.

***

As it turned out, it was quite difficult for Buffy to find the “right time.” About a month past and Buffy became complacent with the information she held, at least most of the time. As it turned out, Will and Xander were quite easy to avoid, with the exception of rides to and from school. Will and Xander were still the same as they’d always been, so she felt no need to rock the boat quite yet.

However, school was a different story. Since she had heard the rumor from Cordelia, it seemed like it was all she heard from her peers. Every time anyone saw Will or Xander, there were whispers and giggle that consumed Buffy’s mind. She knew there was only so long she could go on before she had the talk with Xander.

One thing that the news had done was force Buffy to at least attempt getting over Will. ‘I can’t be hopelessly in love with a boy who likes other boys,’ she had told herself many times.

So, in the month that had past, Buffy had gone out with Riley a few times. She wasn’t sure that he was her boyfriend yet, but they had gone to a few of Cordelia’s parties together, as well as to the movies once. Riley was a gentleman always, only giving the small affections that Buffy allowed, like holding her hand or kissing her on her cheek at the end of the night. Buffy even found that dating Riley had its benefits, like making her slightly more popular. Even thought she disliked many of the kids from the popular crowd, it felt nice to be accepted. It also gave her other things to do than sit at home and worry about her brother and Will.

Any unusual behavior went unnoticed by Xander, who had always been oblivious to Buffy’s moods. Will, however, was much more perceptive and about a week after the incident, had questioned Buffy.

“What’s your deal, pet?” he had abruptly asked her. They were sitting in the Summers’ kitchen one morning, waiting for Xander to come downstairs to leave for school.

She had been staring at her cereal bowl, avoiding any eye contact with Will. He had probably noticed that she wasn’t sneaking glances at him every chance, like she usually did.

“What are you talking about?” she said, trying to act nonchalant.

“You. You’ve been acting weird all week,” he accused.

“I have not. I’m the same old Buffy. Just fine. Great, in fact!” she said with fake enthusiasm.

“That’s an awful lot of explanations, Buffy,” he said seriously. He never called her Buffy, either, which made her sober up.

“It’s nothing, really.”

“If you say so, kitten,” he looked at her through narrowed eyes. “You might think I can’t read you, but I’ve known you since you were ten. I can tell when something’s up.”

She looked into his eyes defiantly. “Really Will, it’s nothing.”

Before he had a chance to respond, Xander came into the kitchen, backpack slung over one shoulder. He grabbed a poptart from the pantry and started eating, not noticing the tension between Buffy and Will.

“C’mon guys,” he said with his mouth full. “Don’t wanna be late!” he called out as he started toward the front door.

Buffy quickly grabbed her things and followed after Xander, eager to escape Will’s scrutiny. She was safe for the time being and Will and Xander went into their usual routine of fighting over the radio in the car. She sat in the back seat and breathed a sigh of relief.

Will hadn’t brought it up since then.

***

So here Buffy was, a month later and nowhere closer to knowing the truth.

Christmas was about a week away and all the students were getting restless in anticipation of the holiday break. Buffy sat in study hall, half-heartedly attempting to do her math homework. Kids around her weren’t working either, most of them talking about their plans for the upcoming vacation week. She overheard Cordelia loudly boasting about her yearly jaunt to Aspen, where she would no doubt spend no time skiing and most of the time shopping.

Ever since their parents had divorced, Buffy, Xander and Joyce spent the holiday in Tahoe at Joyce’s sister’s condo. It was something that Buffy anticipated eagerly every year, as she loved seeing snow during Christmas. Last year, Will had come with them for the first time, his parents not really caring about holidays. He was set to come with them again this year; something Buffy was no longer as excited about, as she would have been previously. She didn’t relish spending a week trapped inside with Will and Xander.

‘Maybe I’ll actually try skiing this year,’ she thought.

Usually, she and Xander spent the week inside, drinking hot chocolate and watching Christmas movies. Last year, with Will added to the equation, they had added playing video games to their holiday activities. Buffy didn’t know how she was going to spend a week in such close quarters with the two boys without giving something away.

***

Buffy was stuck without a ride that afternoon. Will and Xander had skipped out early again. Lucky for Buffy, her kind of boyfriend had a car and was more than happy to drive her home. She knew that Riley was eager for more to happen between them, though he never pressured her. Buffy knew that he wouldn’t be patient forever and knew that she had to make a decision about him.

They had driven home in a comfortable silence, Riley glancing at Buffy with a smile every so often. She would return it, albeit half-heartedly. Her mind was focused, once again, on Will and Xander.

Riley stopped the car in front of her house. He turned to her with concern on his face,

“You okay?” he asked with a gentle smile.

“Yeah,” she started quickly, then hesitated. “Actually, can I ask you something?”

Buffy figured that if her and Riley were going to continue to date, then she should be able to talk to him about personal things.

“Of course,” he said.

“Do you think my brother and Will are together?” she asked nervously.

Riley hesitated a moment before answering, “Well, yeah.”

“Oh, I see.”

“You mean they’re not?” He looked confused.

“No! I mean, I actually don’t know. I didn’t think they were, but then Cordelia said that everyone thought so. Willow doesn’t even listen to gossip and she thinks so! I mean, she still thinks I should ask Xander about it, but I haven’t been able to find a time yet. It’s just, how do you ask your brother something like that. And I keep hearing things from other kids. Just the other day I-“

“Whoa, Buffy. Chill for a minute.”

Buffy hadn’t realized she was babbling.

“Sorry, I got a little carried away,” she said with a blush. “I just don’t know what to do,” she said meekly.

“Well, I gotta say I agree with Willow. You’re never gonna know the truth until you talk to him. Though, I hate to tell you, it seems pretty obvious to me and mostly everyone else at school.” He looked at her sympathetically.

“I think you’re right.”

“Have you talked to your mom about it?” he asked.

“No, I don’t want to worry her, especially if it winds up not being true.”

“Yeah, I can understand that.”

“Thanks, Riley,” she leaned over to hug him.

“Anytime, Buffy,” he said as he returned the embrace.

She pulled away and picked up her bag, ready to get out of the car. She noticed the goofy smile on Riley’s face; no doubt it caused by the hug she had given him. Buffy rarely initiated contact between them, so Riley had to take it when he could get it.

She smiled back at him as she bid him goodbye and went into the house. Xander was surprisingly sitting at the kitchen table; textbooks were laid out in front of him as he stared intently at the pages, brow furrowed. He looked up when he heard Buffy enter.

“Hey, Buff,” he said with a goofy smile. “How’s life in the world of Buffy today?”

“Um, fine. Riley gave me a ride home.”

“Ah, Captain Cardboard!” he said. Taking in Buffy’s death glare he amended, “Will made it up, not me!”

“Sounds like something he would say,” she said with an eye roll as she turned to take some juice out of the fridge.

‘It’s now or never,” she decided as she poured herself a glass.

“Xan,” she started. He looked up. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“I’ve heard some things at school. Things about…you and Will.” She paused for a moment, working up the courage to continue.

“What do you mean?” Xander asked skeptically.

“Well, um…” She pressed on, “that you guys are together.”

She looked intently at Xander’s face, trying to gauge his reaction to what she had just said. She couldn’t possibly have anticipated the hysterical laughter that came a moment later. She was so shocked at his reaction that her mouth dropped open a bit as she waited for him to either stop laughing, or say something.

He eventually sobered. “Buffy, you can’t believe everything people tell you at school.”

“I know, Xan. It’s just, everyone says it. And, I mean, I can’t really blame them. Just look at-“

“Buffy!” he stopped her. “Kids will talk. That’s just the way high school is.””

“Yeah, I guess…”

“Who’d you hear it from anyway?”

“Cordelia Chase.”

At that, he let out a quick burst of laughter.

“Cordelia Chase is the biggest gossip at Sunnydale High. She’s say anything to get a rise out of someone! You know that better than anyone, Buff.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she resigned.

“Really, Buffy, its-“

He was cut off by the sound of a door slamming.

“Hello?” a voice called out.

It was Will, as Buffy had expected. He practically lived there, and therefore never knocked before he came in.

Xander turned from Buffy and toward the doorway where Will appeared a moment later.

“You ready to do that history paper?” Will smirked from the doorway.

“Yeah,” Xander began to gather his books up. “I need to get a least a B, so we’re in for a long night.”

“Right then,” Will said with a nod. “Better get to work.”

“But, Xan,” Buffy protested as the two began to leave the room.

“Later, Buff,” Xander said more forcefully than he usually would.

They continued out of the room. Will shot a quick glance back at Buffy as he followed Xander upstairs.

“What was that about?” Buffy heard Will ask Xander.

“Family stuff,” Xander replied.

Buffy was stunned by what had just happened. She couldn’t help but feel that she was no closer to the truth than she had been before, even with Xander’s hysterical reaction. He had been so quick to brush her off when Will walked in. Obviously, he didn’t want Will to know about what they had been talking about.

“Oh my god,” Buffy said aloud to herself as she realized that Xander hadn’t actually answered her question.

After what had happened with Xander, Buffy became even more determined to find out the truth. He had avoided her all night, even remaining silent at dinner, which almost never happened. Joyce had even noticed that something was up with him and had asked Buffy about it. Buffy told her mother that Xander wasn’t feeling well, which she hoped was enough to make her mother stop asking questions. It was and Joyce didn’t press the matter any more.

She decided that her only option was to talk to Will, something that terrified her. Buffy had seen Will angry only once, but it was a scary sight to behold. She wanted to avoid any kind of outburst, so she contemplated how and when to bring it up. Buffy rarely got a chance to talk to Will alone, as he was usually with Xander.

***

“Approaching your brother’s best friend, who you’ve been pining over for years, and asking him if he and said brother are involved in a romantic relationship is not an easy thing to do,” Buffy told Willow the next day at school. They were sitting in the library during lunch in an attempt to escape the horror that was the cafeteria.

“Are you sure you can’t talk to Xander again?” Willow asked.

“Not a chance. He’s been all avoidy since last night. He obviously doesn’t want to talk about it. Hence why I think that there’s definitely something going on. That’s why I need to talk to Will about it. I just need to understand. I need to know the truth. You get that, right Will?” Buffy finished.

“I understand where you’re coming from, Buffy. I mean, who wants to be left out of the loop like that? But, maybe they just need to tell you themselves,” Willow suggested.

“I can’t just wait around and wonder! Especially after my conversation with Xander yesterday,” Buffy said defiantly.

“You do what you have to, Buffy,” Willow said, resigned to Buffy’s stubbornness.

Buffy knew Willow disagreed with her, but she needed to know.

“I just need to find a way to talk to Will alone. Who knows, maybe he’ll be more forthcoming than Xander. Will doesn’t exactly beat around the bush; he’s always been pretty straightforward with me,” Buffy told Willow. ‘It’s one of the things I’ve always loved about him,’ she thought. ‘Stop it, Buffy! He’s probably gay, remember?’

Buffy’s thoughts were interrupted by a beeping sound coming from her pockets. She reached into her jeans and pulled out her cell phone. She had a new text message.

‘Oh my god, it’s from Will!” she thought with both excitement and trepidation.

“X went home sick. Cut out early?” it read.

“Will wants me to cut out early with him,” Buffy said to Willow.

“Are you seriously gonna do it?” Willow asked incredulously. Skipping class was a heinous crime to Willow, who took school attendance very seriously, having had perfect attendance since first grade.

“I have to,” Buffy explained, “I may not get another chance to talk to him alone.”

“Ugh fine,” Willow said with annoyance. “You’d better hope you don’t get caught.”

“Will and Xander skip all the time and they never get caught, it’ll be fine.”

Buffy sent Will a reply, agreeing to leave with him after the period was over. She waited for the bell anxiously as she contemplated the second time she would have this conversation.

‘Hopefully I’ll get some answers this time,’ she thought.

***

“I knew you could be easily corrupted,” Will said with a smirk as she got into his car.

“Yeah, well, you’re very persuasive,” she couldn’t help but blush as she said this.

“I can’t help it that I’m so charming, pet”

He started to pull the car out of parking lot, and Buffy felt the words start to bubble up.

“Are you and Xander gay together?” she asked both abruptly and quickly.

Will slammed on the break, making Buffy glad she had decided to put her seatbelt on. He pulled the car over to the side of the road and put it in park.

“Not much finesse in that question, luv,” he joked.

“Sorry,” she whispered. She could hardly believe her outburst and looked down in her lap in embarrassment.

“Hey, look at me,” Will said gently. “It’s okay.”

“Wait, you’re not mad?” She had anticipated Will’s anger, not this calm attitude he had currently affected.

“Surprised, yes. Mad, no. But, we should really talk about this, don’t you think, kitten?”

“Well, duh, that’s why I asked. I just didn’t mean to be so…abrupt,” she confessed sheepishly.

“How about we go to that diner in town? I’ll buy you lunch and we can have this chat.”

He had started to drive toward town before she could even answer him. Buffy couldn’t believe he was being so agreeable about this. Will pulled up outside the diner and they both got out and went inside. The restaurant was nearly empty, with the exception of a few old ladies and a man in a hard hat at the counter. They sat down across from each other at an empty booth and waited for the waitress to come to the table.

Buffy looked at Will expectantly, waiting for him to start the conversation.

“First off, pet, where did your car-stopping outburst come from?” he said with a smirk as he began to fiddle with the napkin dispenser.

“Well, I guess I’ve been wondering for a while,” Buffy began, realizing that this was going to be much easier than her conversation with Xander. “About a month ago, Cordelia Chase told me a rumor, I guess, about you and Xander.”

“That we’re a couple,” Will finished for her.

“Yeah,” she confirmed.

“And what do you think?”

“I have no idea!” she exclaimed, becoming slightly frustrated by his question. “That’s why I’m asking you!”

“Did you talk to Xander?”

“Yeah, yesterday, before you came over.”

“Hence his barmy behavior once I got there?” he question her, eyebrow raised.

“You bet. He just laughed at me. Told me I shouldn’t believe everything I hear, especially from Cordelia.”

“Well, he’s bloody right about that, luv.”

“Yeah, but he didn’t actually answer my question,” she got braver as the conversation went on. “That’s why I’m asking you,” she said confidently.

“Well, then. I guess the answer I would have to give you is no.”

“No?”

“No, Xander and I are not a couple.”

“Really, but it just seems like-“

He interrupted her, “Have I ever lied to yet, pet?”

“Well, no, but-“

“Aren’t I the one who told you Santa wasn’t real?”

“I was eleven! I already knew Santa wasn’t real!”

“Yes, but I didn’t try to lie to you about it like Xander and Joyce did” he said with resolve.

“That is so besides the point, Will!”

“Well, yeah. But, my point is that I’ve always been honest with you pet. Believe me when I say that Xander and I are not, and have never been a couple.”

She knew from the look on his face that he was telling the truth. Will was an open book, always wearing his heart on his sleeve.

“Okay,” she accepted his answer. “You know, I thought you just took me here so you could butter me up and I’d take the news better. Or maybe, so we’d be in public and I wouldn’t yell or cry.”

“No, I just really wanted pancakes,” he said, smiling with his tongue behind his teeth.

She laughed, and then paused for a moment, thinking of something else.

“You know, everyone at school talks about you guys. And honestly, after thinking about it, I can’t really blame them. I mean, just look at you two! You’re-”

“Kitten, I couldn’t give a bloody buggerin’ fuck about what everyone else says,” he said seriously.

“You really don’t care? Jeez, I thought everyone did! I mean, it is high school after all.”

“Yeah, well, at some point you have to start being true to yourself and not try to be what everyone expects you to be.”

“Easier said than done.”

The waitress came to the table with glasses of water and took their food order quickly. Will had moved on to tearing open sugar packets and pouring them onto the table, earning him scowls from the staff. Buffy began to relax, satisfied with Will’s answer to the question. Then she thought of something else.

“Wait!” she said, “that doesn’t explain why Xander was so wiggy about it. He could have just told me the same as you.”

“Well, pet, that’s for Xander to answer, not me.”

Will had begun to draw into the layer of sugar he had put on the table. He used his pinky and traced delicate lines into it, the blue tabletop showing through the white of the sugar.

Buffy opened her mouth to say something, but Will held up a finger to silence her.

“Hold still, luv.”

She realized that the lines he was drawing in the sugar were beginning to form a face, her face, to be exact.

‘Crush back on,’ she thought as she watched his fingers describe the lips of sugar Buffy. ‘I’m doomed.’

The next week passed in a flurry of excitement and things with Will and Xander had mostly gone back to normal. They just didn’t speak of any of it. Buffy didn’t think that Will or Xander had spoken of it to each other either. She didn’t understand why they couldn’t just laugh about it and let it go. Will clearly didn’t care, so she couldn’t understand why Xander would.

On the day before they left for Lake Tahoe, Buffy had a lunch date with Riley. She had been less excited about seeing him since her hope for Will was restored the week before. He picked her up at her house and took her to one of the local restaurants, nothing fancy, as she had asked.

“I got you a present,” he said with a smile as they sat across from each other in the small Italian restaurant. They had finished their dinner, and Riley insisted that she get dessert as well.

“Oh, Riley, you really really shouldn’t have. I didn’t think we were doing that and we really haven’t been dating long and-“

“Buffy, it’s ok, really. I’m not expecting anything from you,” he smiled gently. “I just really like you.”

She blushed at that, still not used to such compliments, though he gave them often.

He handed her a small box wrapped in silver paper and tied with a red ribbon. She took it from him hesitantly and stared at it for a minute.

“Open it,” he encouraged her.

She began to untie the ribbon, and then carefully took off the wrapping paper. She lifted the small lid and saw a small snowflake pendant nestled in cotton.

“I thought it was pretty, like you.”

‘So he’s not the most original,’ she thought. ‘But he’s sweet and thoughtful…and he thinks I’m pretty.’
“Thank you,” she said genuinely. She lifted the necklace out of the box and moved to put it around her neck.

“Here, let me help you with that,” he got up to rush around the table and fasten the necklace. Buffy pushed down the slight feeling of annoyance that she felt at this action and mumbled another thank you.

They talked about school and their plans for the holidays as they finished their dessert. Riley took Buffy home afterward and like always, walked her to her front door. She turned to him as he looked down at her expectantly. She saw him lean in slightly, waiting for her permission to move closer. She tilted her head up toward him and closed her eyes.

His lips touched hers gently, pressing lightly for a moment before they both pulled away. Riley smiled down at her, a gesture that she returned.

‘That was pleasant enough,’ she thought. His lips were soft, he didn’t try to stick his tongue in her mouth and he had enough restraint to pull back when she wanted him to.

“Thanks for everything, Riley,” Buffy said.

“I’ll see you when you get back from vacation, right?”

“Of course. Merry Christmas,” she said as she opened the door to go inside.

“Merry Christmas, Buffy,” he replied as he turned to go to his car.

Buffy glanced back at his retreating form and noticed Will’s car pulling into the driveway.

“You’re in my spot, mate,” he called to Riley from his car.

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t know it was yours, man,” Riley said apologetically.

“Just remember it,” he said with resolve and rolled his window back up.

Riley got into his car and drove off with a wave to Buffy, who was standing in the doorway watching the exchange. Will moved his car into his usual spot and Buffy rolled her eyes.

“You should just pee on it,” she called to Will as he approached the house, a large duffel bag in his hand.

“What, pet?” he asked, amused.

“Your parking spot. Mark it as yours, like a dog.”

“Well, that’s the difference between us and the animals, luv. We don’t pee on driveways.”

“Did you have to be such a jerk to him?” she asked accusingly.

“To Captain Cardboard? He needs someone givin’ him shit. He’s probably used to gettin’ his way all the time, being big and brawny and all.”

“There’s no need to be an asshole.”

“Who’s being an asshole?” Xander came down the stairs, hearing part of their conversation.

“Will, of course. Saying mean things to my boyfriend!”

“Oh, he’s your boyfriend now? I thought it was just a little thing.”

“I dunno,” she started shyly. “I think it might be a real thing. I mean, a relationship type thing. He gave me this necklace for Christmas.” She held the pendant away from her neck for the two boys to see.

“How original,” Will said, smirking.

“Yes, the snowflake pendant. Official Christmas gift of unoriginal boyfriends,” Xander joked.

“Shut up, guys. He’s sweet.” Buffy didn’t know why she was defending the gift, having thought the same thing earlier.

“And boring,” said Will.

“And dumb,” Xander shot back.

“And way too tall for you,” Will said with a teasing grin.

He and Xander burst in to laughter following that. Buffy pouted.

“Cheer up, pet,” Will said, giving her a pinch on the cheek, same as a grandparent would do.

“It’s just that no one will ever be good enough for our Buffy, right Will?”

“Right you are, mate,” he said with an exaggerated nod at Xander.

“You guys suck,” she said petulantly, before huffing away to her bedroom.

***

They woke up early the next morning, ready make the six-hour drive to Lake Tahoe. They loaded everything in the car and were on their way by seven.

The ride passed by quickly, with music, conversation and driving games as a distraction. Will and Xander even took turns driving to give Joyce a break.

They arrived at the condo that afternoon and were greeted by Helen, Joyce’s older sister. Aunt Helen was not married, but worked as a lawyer in L.A. She was an avid skier and came up to her condo on most winter weekends.

“Merry Christmas!” she called enthusiastically from the door as she watched them trudge through the snow with their bags. Hugs and kisses were exchanged and Joyce sent the boys back out to get the rest of the bags.

The condo had been decorated with very tasteful Christmas decorations. There was a modestly sized tree by the front window and stockings hung from the electric fireplace. Bows and candles adorned the tree, with a larger bow at the top. Buffy thought that these were the kind of decorations that only someone without children could have. She remembered their Christmases before the divorce. The house was fully decorated with an eclectic mix of things, mostly made by Xander and Buffy. She felt a wave of sadness come over her at the thought and pushed it from her mind.

Joyce and her sister were catching up in the kitchen as Buffy went to put her belongings into the bedroom. The condo was small but cozy, having only two bedrooms. Joyce would share Helen’s room and Buffy, Xander and Will would take the other. Luckily, there was a bunk bed and another twin bed in the guest room, making enough room for them to sleep comfortably. Buffy threw her bag onto the single bed, claiming it for herself.

‘Bunk beds are so overrated,’ she thought. When she was six and Xander was eight, he had begged their father for bunk beds. This left Buffy to suffer nights of staying awake while Xander tossed and turned, shaking the whole bed frame.

‘Thank god things are less awkward now,’ she thought as she put her clothes in the closet. With the three of them sleeping in the same room, Buffy couldn’t imagine what it would be like with all that tension between them. Of course, she still wondered about Xander’s major wigginess last week. She did not, however, want to rock the boat during the holidays and decided to drop it from her thoughts and enjoy their time together.

The boys came running in a few minutes later. Will threw his duffel on the top bunk before Xander had a chance to.

“Shit, Will, I wanted the top bunk!” Xander complained.

“Too bloody late,” Will climbed up and sprawled out on the bed, claiming his territory. “Besides, you got the top last year. It’s my turn.”

“Stop being such a baby, Xan,” Buffy said she saw Xander sit pouting on the bottom bunk. “So, what do you guys wanna do?”

“Well,” Will gave her an evil smirk and opened his bag. “I brought some goodies.” He pulled out a bag of marijuana and a bottle of Jack Daniels.

“I am so not doing that,” Buffy stated.

“C’mon, Buff, what kind of older brother would I be if I didn’t introduce you to all the bad things you’re not supposed to do?” Xander said.

“Under our supervision, of course,” Will added. “C’mon pet, it’ll be fun.” He waggled his eyebrows a bit and Buffy couldn’t help but smile.

“Maybe,” she said. “But, not now! At least wait until Mom and Aunt Helen go shopping or something.”

“If we have learned anything from the past, it is that nothing can keep Mom and Aunt Helen from factory outlets,” Xander said. “I’m sure they’ll be out of here soon.”

Xander was right. About ten minutes later, Joyce walked in the room and told them that her and Helen were going out for a few hours.

“Buffy, do you wanna come?” Joyce asked her.

Will and Xander both gave her a warning look, seeming to say ‘you’re not getting out of this one.’

“No, I think I’ll just hang out here,” she said, not looking her mother in the eye.

“Alright then,” Joyce said. “You kids behave yourselves.” She gave them a warning look, and then left the room.

“Don’t eat all of Aunt Helen’s food!” she called out to them as she and Helen walked out the front door.

“Joyce is the coolest mum,” Will said, wistful expression on his face.

“Wow,” Buffy was amazed. “I can’t believe she’s just gonna let us do it.”

“Yeah, well, I think mom and Aunt Helen had some fun in their day. It was the seventies after all,” Xander said.

Will jumped down from the top bunk and went to open a window. Xander pulled a small glass pipe out of his bag and filled the bowl with the green substance.

“That stuff stinks,” Buffy wrinkled her nose at the pungent, skunky aroma.

Will leaned toward her to whisper in her ear, “but it makes you feel oh so good,”

‘Why must he torture me?” she thought. She felt her face flush at his nearness.

Will handed Xander his Zippo light, which Xander used to light the pipe. He took a hit first and Buffy watched, mesmerized. He held the smoke in for a few moments, inhaled and then exhaled. He passed the pipe to Will, who held it out to Buffy.

“Just hold it, then put your mouth here and suck in, luv. I’m gonna light it again,” he said. He held up the lighter to light the bowl again as Buffy watched him nervously. “Just suck in the smoke and hold it in your mouth and inhale til you can’t anymore, then breathe out.”

“Make sure not to swallow the smoke,” Xander added.

‘It’s now or never,” she thought. She held the pipe to her mouth and Will lit it. She did exactly as she was told and sucked in the air. She held in the smoke and inhaled it into her lungs. She only did so for a moment before her eyes began to water and she let it out her mouth and nose.

“You’re a natural, pet,” he smiled at her. “Didn’t even cough.”

“I did it right?” she asked, more proud of herself than she had ever thought she would be after smoking weed.

“You betcha,” Xander said with a goofy smile. “We Summers’ are natural stoners.”

Buffy gave him a glare at that comment. She was determined to never be a stoner.

Will took a big hit next. Buffy watched, impressed with his lung capacity as he inhaled deep, and then let out a large puff of smoke.

‘Then again,” she thought, “he and Xander have probably been doing this since middle school.’

Xander took the pipe back. “I can do better than that,” he said as he lit up again.

“Not a competition,” Will said, smirking.

“Yes it is.”

“Fine, then. You’re on, mate.”

Xander took a slightly larger hit than Will had and exhaled with a satisfied grin. Will grabbed the pipe back from him and took and even bigger hit.

“You win,” Xander conceded. “I don’t think I can top that one.”

“Right you are.”

Buffy was starting to feel the effects of the weed and a contented feeling began to wash over her.

“Here, Buff, you wanna do another?” Xander offered her the pipe and the lighter.

Suddenly confident in her ability to smoke, Buffy took both from him and did exactly as she had watched Will and Xander do. She was able to inhale a bit longer this time.

“You should probably only do one more, pet,” Will suggested. “You’ve never done this and the effects will be too much for you.”

“Not a pro yet, like us,” Xander said with a laugh.

Xander and Will passed the pipe between them a few more times and Buffy could feel herself getting lighter.

Xander got up from the floor, intending to get the bag of chips he had left on the bed, but tripped over his shoe and fell back to the floor.

Buffy started giggling as she watched it happen and Will and Xander joined in a minute later. Soon, the three were in absolute hysterics. Buffy knew that it was mostly the effects of the pot, but relished in the feeling of euphoria that she felt at being with her two favorite people.

Buffy decided that playing Mario Kart while high was the best thing ever. She even found she was better than usual, and managed to kick Xander’s ass several times, which almost never happened. It also helped that Aunt Helen had a massive flat screen in her living room.

Will had joined them for a few rounds, and then retreated to the couch with a sketchbook. He shouted out a snarky comment or two about the game, but stayed quiet for the most part.

“Joyce will probably be home soon,” Will looked up from his drawing to tell the other two.

Their highs were wearing off, so they decided to call it a day on the video games.

“I totally kicked your ass,” Buffy said, poking her finger into Xander’s chest on each word.

“Hey, I had a handicap,” Xander argued.

“We had the same handicap, dumbass. There’s no excuse,” she replied, ending the argument. “I’m gonna go wash the skunk smell from my hair.”

Buffy left to go into the bathroom and Xander dropped onto the sofa and turned on the T.V.

After her shower, Buffy braided her wet hair and opted for a form fitting t-shirt and sweatpants over her comfy, but far less cute, yummy sushi pajamas.

She wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of juice and a package of cookies. Going back into the living room, Buffy found Will still drawing and Xander fast asleep.
Xander took up the whole sofa, so Buffy went to sit on the smaller couch with Will. She pried the remote from Xander’s hand and sat next to Will, very conscious of how close she was to him.

She turned the channel from and episode of South Park that Xander had been watching and found a channel playing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, her favorite Christmas movie.

She found herself zoning out and thinking about the incidents of the past week.

‘I still don’t get it. I mean, Will says they’re not together, and I believe him. At least, I think I do. It really seemed like he was telling the truth though. Ughh. But, if they’re not together, then why did Xander act so weird about the question? It’s probably just one of those macho man things. Can’t let anyone even think that without his masculinity being threatened. That must be it, right? But Xander’s never really been one of those guys, has he?’

Buffy was hit with the sudden realization that maybe she didn’t know her brother as well as she thought, at least not anymore.

Her thought was interrupted by the sound of Will’s voice, though she missed what he had said.

Shaking her head she asked, “what did you say?”

“I asked if you were hungry. It’s starting to get late and I didn’t know if your mum was bringing us something.”

She looked at the cookies and juice that she had forgotten about.

“I was, but I forgot I guess. Oh, and she said something earlier about getting us pizza.”

“Oh, alright.” He paused for a moment, then continued, “You okay, luv? You seem a little distant.”

“Just thinking.”

“About what?” he asked, curiosity piquing.

“Nothing really,” she started, then decided to just go for it. “Well…actually, I was thinking about the whole you and Xander relationship thingy.”

“What about it?”

“Just that you were so great about it, but Xander was weird and avoidy after I asked. So…yeah, that’s it.”

Will seemed to think for a moment, not really knowing what to say.

“You didn’t lie to me, did you Will?” Buffy asked in a small, almost hurt voice.

“No! Pet, of course not.”

Buffy decided to accept his answer and drop the subject, at least for now. Will didn’t seem to feel the need to continue either.

“So, what’s the deal with you and the tin soldier?” Will asked, changing the topic.

“Who?” Buffy looked at him confused.

“Finn. Are you and him like, dating dating, or what?” he asked, nonchalant.

“I guess we’re dating for real. I mean, it’s been over a month and he got me the necklace and everything.”

“Just cause he bought you a bloody necklace doesn’t mean you owe him anything.”

“I know, it’s just-“

“Buffy, look at me,” he said seriously. She was surprised at his use of her name, something he rarely did. “You don’t owe him anything.”

“I know that, it’s just -,” she paused, thinking for a moment. “Wait. You mean…oh god Will, that is not going to happen!” She was outraged at what he was insinuating. ‘How could he think I’d sleep with Riley?’

“Alright alright!” he said, holding his hands up. “I’m just lookin’ out for you, luv. I know how girls in high school sometimes think that they have to-“

“I am not one of those girls, Will,” she said seriously.

He smiled softly, “you’re right, you’re not.”

Buffy felt flushed, both from the conversation they had just had and the way he was smiling at her, and looked away.

The sound of the door opening caused them both to look up. Joyce and Helen walked in, carrying shopping bags and a pizza box.

“You kids behave?” Joyce asked with a knowing smile.

“Always do, Joyce,” Will said with a charming smile.

***

The next day was Christmas Eve and Buffy was filled with the excitement of a six year old. Every year, she, Joyce and Helen would spend the morning baking gingerbread cookies. They would then decorate the cookies with colored icing and sprinkles, letting Xander finish whatever icing was left.

She bounced into the kitchen at nine in the morning, where Joyce and Helen had already started on the cookie dough. Buffy always looked forward to this time she could spend with her mother, who worked a lot of the time.

“So, Buffy,” Aunt Helen started, “your mother tells me you have your first boyfriend.” She smiled that annoying smile that all adults have when asking teenagers questions like this.

“Um, yeah,” Buffy said. “His name is Riley; he’s a junior.”

“He’s on the football team,” Joyce added. “Nice boy, very tall and handsome.”

“I always had a thing for hunky jocks, too,” Aunt Helen said wistfully, seeming to recall her younger days.

‘No, got a thing for short stoner artsy guys,’ Buffy thought, but didn’t dare speak aloud. “Yeah, he’s pretty great,” she said instead.

Aunt Helen managed to pry some more information from Buffy, which she offered with forced enthusiasm. Eventually, they arrived at less Buffy-focused topics, leaving her somewhat relieved as they continued their baking and girl talk.

By the time Will and Xander rolled out of bed they had made over five-dozen cookies. The boys walked in at the same time, still in their sleepwear. Will sat down at one of the barstools at the island. Xander grabbed a tree-shaped cookie off the cooling rack and sat down next to Will.

“Xander!” Buffy whined. “They’re not even iced yet!”

“Yet, still delicious,” he said with a full mouth.

“Would you boys like any juice or breakfast?” Aunt Helen offered.

“Just some orange juice, please,” Will asked politely.

“I’ll have whatever is most delicious, Aunt Helen,” Xander said smirking.

“Here’s the pantry,” she pointed out, letting Xander know that he could get it himself if he was going to be a wise ass. “Have at it.”

Aunt Helen was a no nonsense kind of lady, which made for a very good lawyer. She was a polite and gracious host, but wouldn’t take any of Xander’s crap. Buffy had always loved that about her. She had the same kind face as Joyce, albeit with a few more lines. Yet, Joyce had wild curly hair, whereas Helen had that straight, short-layered blond hairstyle that Fox News anchors always seemed to have.

“What are the plans for the day?” Will inquired after thanking Helen for the glass of orange juice she had handed to him.

“Well, unless you want to help in here, then you can do whatever you’d like,” Joyce replied.

“But, if you feel the need to smoke, please do it outside somewhere. I don’t want you stinking up my living room again,” Aunt Helen added. She was serious, but smiled so as not to seem angry with them.

“Sir yes sir,” Xander said with an exaggerated military salute.

“Actually, can you boys go to the store for me?” Joyce asked. “We need some more things for tomorrow’s dinner.”

“Sure thing, Mom,” Xander said.

He and Will went to go get dressed and Joyce made a short list of the things she needed at the supermarket. They came in five minutes later, outerwear on and ready to go.

“Take your time,” Joyce said, handing Xander the list and two twenty-dollar bills. Buffy didn’t expect them to be back for a while.

“That Will is so handsome,” Helen said after the boys had left.

Buffy tried hard not to look at her mother or Aunt Helen. She always felt her face get hot when he came up in a conversation.

“And so nice and polite,” Helen added.

“Oh, yes.” Joyce said. “He’s a very charming boy. Isn’t that right, Buffy?”

Buffy’s face flushed a deep red. She gave her mother a look of disbelief and embarrassment.

“Mom!” she exclaimed with a whine. Lucky for her, Joyce gave her a reprieve.

“It’s a wonder he is the way he is, though,” Joyce continued. “Those parents of his are so…well, pardon my French, but awful. I’ve only really met them once, and believe me that was enough. You’d think English people would be more polite. I don’t even know how they manage to stay in the country. I mean, the father has some sort of job, I guess, but, from what I assume, also has an alcohol problem. The mother does too, I think. I mean, Will is always over at the house, so there must be a reason he never wants to go home. But, he’s become like one of my own. Can’t imagine what it would be like without him,” she finished, smiling.

“Well, he’s lucky to have a friend like Xander,” Helen said.

“Oh, yes. They’re very close,” Joyce replied.

‘Yeah, some would say too close,’ Buffy thought with a tinge of jealousy as she squirted green food coloring into the icing.

The next day, of course, was Christmas and Buffy was even more excited than she had been the day before. Though she was no longer a child waiting for Santa, she still rose early every Christmas morning. She looked at Will and Xander, who were still dead asleep and figured she would let be, at least for a little while.

She went out into the kitchen and discovered that Joyce and Helen were still asleep as well, having stayed up late talking and drinking wine the night before.

Buffy decided that she would watch T.V. while she waited for everyone to get up. After watching A Christmas Story one and a half times, she decided they had slept long enough. She didn’t have to wake Joyce and Helen, as they came out of the bedroom as if they had read her mind. She greeted each of them with a “Merry Christmas” and a hug.

“Why don’t you go wake Xander and Will,” Joyce suggested.

“I was just about to,” she said cheerfully, almost skipping to the bedroom.

Xander was sprawled fast asleep on the bottom bunk. Buffy poked him a few times first, to which he only rolled over and murmured some nonsensical words.

“Xander,” she said, shaking him softly as first, then harder when he still didn’t wake. “Xander! It’s Christmas morning!” She upped the volume greatly.

He tried to pull the blanket over his head, muttering something that sounded like “what are you five?”

“Mom says you have to get up,” she said, decided to play the mom said so card.


“Ugh, fine,” he said, rubbing is eyes and yawning. He then kicked the mattress of the top bunk forcefully, causing a yell from Will.

“What the bloody hell?”

“Wake up!” Buffy said cheerfully. “It’s Christmas!”

Satisfied that they were both awake, Buffy went back to the living room where Joyce and Helen were arranging some gifts. The boys came in a few minutes later, looking much more awake.

“Can we open presents?” Xander asked excitedly.

“And I’m the five year old,” Buffy snorted.

“No bickering today, you two,” Joyce scolded them as she saw Xander open his mouth to reply.

Helen put on some Christmas music and turned on the electric fireplace. They all sat down in the living room, ready to begin.

Joyce still insisted on writing “from Santa” on all of their presents, which both Buffy and Xander secretly loved. The three teenagers tore into their presents at once, despite Joyce’s attempt to have them go one at a time.

Buffy received some clothing a pair of boots that she had wanted, along with a few books and DVDs. Joyce had even slipped some lip-gloss and the obligatory dental products and socks into her stocking.

Xander received clothing as well; they were much more tasteful items than he would have picked out himself. He also got a pair of sound canceling headphones and the new Call of Duty game, which he was itching to play.

Joyce had asked both Buffy and Xander extensive questions about what Will would want for Christmas. Xander had told her a few bands he liked and Buffy mentioned a couple of books she had heard him talk about. Joyce managed to find a Ramones t-shirt and a couple of plain shirts, as well as a collection of Shakespeare’s works.

“Really, Joyce, you shouldn’t have done all this,” Will insisted. “I’m just happy to be here with you all.”

“Nonsense,” Joyce said with a dismissive hand gesture. “You’re like one of my own.”

Will smiled wide at that and got up to give Joyce a big hug.

“Really though,” he said after pulling back, “you at least could have laid off the dental products. Not all the British have bad teeth,” he joked, as he and Xander had both received the dental stocking stuffers as well.

Helen handed out her gifts next, giving each of the kids a gift card and Joyce some expensive candles and wine. Joyce had given Helen some nice smelling body products and a Josh Groban CD that she said was from the kids, though they had nothing to do with picking it out.

Xander’s gift to his mother was a CD of classical music that she could play in the gallery.

“Plus, you and Aunt Helen are the only ones who still uses CDs,” he joked, earning him a light slap on the arm from Helen.

He gave Buffy a silver flower charm for the bracelet Joyce had gotten her for her last birthday almost a year ago. To Will, he gave a child’s Elmo doll, which caused Will to burst into laughter, leaving the others puzzled.

“It’s an inside joke, kind of hard to explain,” Xander said in response to their confused faces.

Buffy had saved up her allowance for the last few months in order to buy presents for everyone, not wanting to have to actually ask her mother for money. She gave Joyce a photo album that she had filled with pictures that she had saved from over the years.

“Oh, this is so wonderful Buffy,” Joyce gushed as she flipped through the book.

Buffy gave Xander a DVD of The Office, his favorite T.V. show. Lastly, for Will she had bought a simple black sketchbook. She had over thought every possible thing she could get him, and most of it was either too impersonal or too obvious. She had ended up on the sketchbook, the safest option, but was still nervous to give it to him.

He smiled when he opened it. “Thank you, luv,” he said.

“It is the right kind, isn’t it?” she asked nervously. “I asked the lady in the store and she said that it was one of the-“

“It’s perfect,” he said genuinely. “Thank you.” Of course, Buffy blushed at this. “I have some things for everyone too,” Will said, getting up to grab four slim packages that he had put behind the tree and handing them to each person.

“Will,” Joyce started, “you didn’t need to do that.”

“Nonsense,” he smiled, copying her earlier words. “Well, go ahead.”

They all opened them at the same time as Will stood nervously watching them.

“Oh, my goodness,” Helen said, looking at the gift she had opened.

“Will,” Joyce said quietly, her eyes starting to tear up, “this is wonderful.”

Buffy looked at the gift. She had unwrapped it to find two pieces of cardboard placed on top of one another. Lifting the top one, it revealed a drawing, one that Will had obviously done. The drawing was of her and Joyce, copied from a photo that had been taken when she was in kindergarten and they had gone to a mother daughter tea party event at school. She hadn’t thought about it in a very long time, but she found herself remembering it very vividly. Joyce had bought her a flouncy pink party dress, like she had always begged for, and arranged her blond curls so perfectly. Buffy had the best time that day, until she spilled juice all over her dress. Will had done the whole drawing in black and white, only coloring in the soft pink of Buffy’s dress. She pulled herself from her reverie as she looked up to see what the others had been given.

The drawing he had given Helen was copied from a picture of her and Joyce that Buffy recognized from one of their photo albums. From the shoulder padded dresses they were both wearing and their enormous hair, Buffy could only assume it was taken in the eighties. Helen laughed to herself as she looked at it, probably remembering a different time.

Xander’s drawing was an image of Will and Xander that had been taken when they were both fourteen and were starting high school. Will’s hair was still dark and he had on glasses and Xander had just gotten his braces on.

“God, Will,” Xander said. “Look at how dorky we were.” He and Will both laughed.

“Knew you’d appreciate that one, mate,” Will replied.

The one he had made for Joyce was from a photograph of Buffy and Xander that was taken when they were small children. Buffy couldn’t remember back that far, but Joyce clearly could.

“This is when your father and I took you two to Disneyland. You guys had so much fun,” Joyce said. “I haven’t seen this picture in years.”

“I found it in one of your old photo albums,” Will confessed.

“This is so beautiful, Will,” Joyce said, getting up and giving him a big hug. “Thank you so much,” she added, wiping tears from her eyes.

“I think you just won Christmas, Will,” Xander joked.

‘He definitely did,’ Buffy thought, watching her mother embrace Will.

***

The rest of the day progressed with typical Christmas activities. Joyce and Helen cooked in the kitchen while the kids lazed about, playing video games and watching T.V.

They had a delicious dinner of beef tenderloin, a highly expensive cut of meat that Helen had insisted on getting, and various side dishes. Xander did his usual human vacuum routine and there were almost no leftovers. Much to Joyce’s surprise, the boys helped do the dishes after dinner, and she and Helen were able to relax.

They finished off the evening with some good old-fashioned family fun, playing Scrabble and Pictionary. Helen and Joyce dominated Scrabble, as they always did, with Helen coming up with the win at the end. Will and Xander kicked ass during Pictionary, mostly due to Will’s artistic capability and everyone else’s lack thereof.

Joyce and Helen planned to go skiing early the next morning, so they went to bed before the kids did. Will lacked Xander’s stamina for video games, so he sat on the couch with Buffy while Xander started up the X-Box again.

“So, good Christmas, luv?” Will asked Buffy.

“The best,” she answered with a smile. “Those drawings were really amazing, Will.”

“It’s nothing really,” he said, turning bashful at the compliment. “I didn’t really have any money, so…”

“You didn’t need to spend any money, it was perfect. For god sakes, you made my mom cry!”

“Yeah…well, points for sentiment I guess.” He looked away from her, seeming not to know what to say next.

Buffy spoke instead. “Do you ever think about doing the art thing, like, for real?”

“You mean like college?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’m sure you’d get right in,” she said shyly. “You know, with you being so good at drawing an everything.”

“I dunno, pet. I just don’t think it’s…realistic.”

“Well, I think it is,” she said matter of fact.

“Thanks, luv.” Will smiled gratefully at her, but didn’t say anything further.

Xander was so lost in his game that he was unaware of the quiet conversation they were having. Buffy let out a yawn, letting her know she should go to bed. However, she was reluctant to give up being in such close proximity to Will, so she relaxed against a small pillow. As she watched more and more virtual soldiers fall to their deaths she drifted asleep.

***

The next morning she woke up on the couch, a blanket having been placed over her; by whom, she had no clue. As she rubbed the sleep from her eyes she thought she remembered feeling lips press against her cheek and a softly whispered “Merry Christmas, luv.”

‘It was probably just a dream.’

Two days later, Buffy, Xander and Will decided to join Joyce and Helen on the slopes. It turned out to be a terrible idea, as none of them had any idea what they were doing. Buffy spent the whole time complaining about the cold and Xander gave up after fifteen minutes and went into the lodge. Will stuck it out a bit longer, but ended up swearing in front of a lot of young children when he kept crossing his skis. The three of them ended up in the lodge together, drinking hot chocolate with little marshmallows.

“Well, so much for that,” Xander said, licking some marshmallow foam off his top lip.

“Hey, at least we tried it this year,” Buffy said.

“Skiing is bloody stupid,” Will grumbled.

“Here here,” Xander said, raising his mug.

“Well, what should we do instead?” Buffy asked. “And don’t say go home and play video games, cause we’ve been doing that the whole time we’ve been here.”

“Well,” Xander said, “we could-“

“And no smoking weed!” Buffy interrupted. “We did that yesterday. You don’t wanna kill the few brain cells you have left.”

“That hurt, Buff,” Xander joked, putting his hand over his heart.

“Oh oh! I know!” Buffy said excitedly. “We could go ice skating! I’m a really good ice skater.”

Buffy had done a lot of ice-skating when she was younger and had even had dreams of being a professional figure skater someday. She had long since given that up, but still enjoyed it when she could. Their father, Hank, had tried to get Xander to play hockey when he was seven and though he never took to the sport, he had learned to skate pretty well as well.

“I don’t know how,” Will said, a little embarrassed.

“That’s ok!” Buffy said cheerfully. She was very excited at the prospect of ice-skating. “We can teach you!”

***

A half hour later they were at the skate rental of an outdoor ice skating rink. Having grown up in southern California, Buffy was used to skating indoors. She became very excited at the idea of skating outside in the fresh air and seemed to bounce in anticipation.

They got onto the ice and Buffy took off, gliding along the ice gracefully. She wasn’t ready to try any jumps, as she hadn’t skated in a few years. She was just happy to be doing it again and spread her arms out as if she was flying. She did a few laps around the ice, weaving in between the families and couples that took up most of the ice.

Will stumbled onto the ice with Xander following close. He immediately grabbed onto the wall to catch himself. Xander started to skate backwards in front of him as Will slowly moved, keeping an arm on the wall for support.

Buffy skated toward them and stopped next to Xander. She didn’t know if it was the endorphins or what, but something made her feel bolder and she held her hand out to Will.

“Come on,” she said. He looked at her hand like he didn’t know what it was. “Grab my hand,” she urged.

“I’m not gonna hold your sodding hand!” he exclaimed.

“You’re not gonna learn how to skate if you hug the wall the whole time,” she retorted.

“Ugh, fine,” he said, taking hold of her hand. “I don’t need to learn how to bloody skate anyway,” he mumbled angrily to no one.

“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that,” Buffy said with her nose in the air. She started to skate slowly, making sure not to move to fast for Will.

“Just try and glide,” she instructed him.

“I’m trying…whoa!” He started to falter a bit, then righted himself and didn’t fall.

Xander skated up to his other side and grabbed his other hand.

“C’mon, man, it’s not that hard,” Xander said.

“Easy for you to say, mate,” Will replied.
With Buffy and Xander on each side, Will was able to keep steady and actually start moving a bit faster.

“See, you’re doing it,” Buffy said with an encouraging smile.

As he turned to look at her he lost his balance and was unable to steady himself this time and the three teenagers crashed onto the ice together. Luckily, none of them were injured.

Buffy expected Will to let out a stream of angry British swears, but he didn’t. He started to laugh. Buffy and Xander joined him a minute later and soon the three of them were in fits, lying in the middle of the ice. Other people skated around them, giving them annoyed looks, which they ignored.

Sobering finally, Will looked at both Buffy and Xander with narrowed eyes. “I’m never bloody skating again.”

Buffy and Xander exploded into laughter once more.

***

Later that day, they found themselves sitting in a local coffee shop, just a five-minute walk from the condo. It was one of those fancy rich people coffee shops with over-priced drinks and wait service at the tables. It was decorated to look very “French,” or something that the owners assumed you would see in Paris. Buffy just thought it looked tacky, with its coffee cup shaped plaques on the wall, reading “Bonjour” and “Café.” There was also a poorly done mural of Paris on one of the walls, which Will immediately criticized when they walked in.

They sat down at a table by the window, where they could look at all the people walking down the snow-covered streets. A few minutes after sitting, a waiter came to the table to take their order. He was about average height and looked to be about twenty or so, probably a college student. His nametag read Matt and he was cute, with shaggy black hair, a nice face, and was paying far more attention to Will than Buffy would have liked.

“What can I get for you guys?” he asked, giving Will a quick flirtatious smile.

“I’ll have a large hot chocolate,” Xander ordered, as he hated coffee. “And a cinnamon bun,” he added.

“I’ll have a medium coffee, just a little cream,” Will said, giving the waiter his charming smile. He was far more pretentious with his hot beverages than Xander, and liked his coffee strong, but not actually black.

Buffy was squinting at the menu on the wall, trying to decide what she wanted. “Can I get a small mocha latte with a shot of peppermint?”

“Sweet tooth,” waiter Matt said knowingly.

Buffy smiled back politely, but only because it would have been rude not to.

“I’ll be back in a few,” he said next, giving Will another look over before turning to go put in their orders.

Subsequent to his exit, Xander gave Will look of disdain and accusation.

“What?” Will asked, playing at innocence.

“He was flirting with you,” Xander said, clearly irritated.

“So what,” Will replied. “People flirt with me all the time. I’m very cute,” he added with smirk and a wink at Buffy, making her blush red.

“Well, why would he assume you’re interested in him?”

“He wouldn’t know unless he tried, now would he?” Will replied, starting to get annoyed.

“Yeah, well you’re embarrassing Making moon eyes at him like that,” Xander huffed.

Buffy was surprised by the exchange. She couldn’t understand why Xander was acting this way. ‘Is he jealous?’ she wondered.

“I’m bloody embarrassing you?” Will asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, you are,” Xander said shortly.

They stopped their argument as the waiter came back with their drinks. He place cup ans saucer in front of each of them as well as giving Xander a plate with a pastry on it. Xander grumbled a short “thanks” and started eating.

Will, however, gave the waiter a long look over and said “Thank you, luv,” in the sexiest voice he could manage. Buffy’s eyes widened as this happened and she tried to hide her blush by sipping her hot latte.

Waiter Matt gave Will an equally seductive smile and before turning to walk away again said, “let me know if you need anything else.”

Will made a show of checking out Matt’s ass as he walked away, then turned back to Xander with a satisfied smile.

“You’re an asshole,” Xander said, getting up from his seat and putting on his black Northface jacket and ski hat on.

“You’re really gonna fucking walk out?” Will asked, becoming more angry.

“Yup,” was all Xander said as he strode out the door, not looking back at them.

Buffy instinctively got up from her seat to run after him, ignoring Will’s “let him be, pet.”

“Wait, Xan!” she yelled as she ran. She caught up to him as he was about to turn the corner outside the café. “Stop!”

“What, Buffy?” he turned to her with an exhausted look.

“What is your problem?” she asked with upset in her voice.

“I should think it was fairly obvious,” he said.

“Xander, it really wasn’t a big deal,” she tried to be rational with him.

“Whatever, Buffy,” he said, turning to start walking away again. It was then that Buffy realized she hadn’t put on her coat and began to shiver in the cold. She decided not to chase after him. ‘It’s not worth it when he’s like this.’

She walked back into the café and saw that Matt was back at their table talking to Will. She watched for a minute as Will laughed at something Matt said to him, took out his cell and punched in some numbers.

‘Did Will just take his number?” she wondered, confused. She approached the table slowly and part of her wanted to interrupt their interaction. The other part wanted to just grab her coat and get the hell out of there.

“There you are, kitten,” Will said as he saw her coming.

“I’ll just leave you two,” Matt said with a smile before walking away.

Buffy didn’t know what to say to Will after seeing what she just had, so instead of sitting down, she hurriedly put on her grey pea coat and her striped scarf.

“I’m just gonna go back,” she explained when she saw his confused face. “I gotta make sure Xander’s okay.”

Will was too stunned to say anything, so she hurried out while she had the chance. She walked down the street, thinking about the last fifteen minutes. She didn’t know how she was supposed to feel about this.

‘What the hell just happened? I mean, Xander was being a little ridiculous. He acted really jealous! But, he said he was embarrassed. Is that what embarrassment looks like? I guess, maybe sometimes. But, why would he be? It really wasn’t a big deal. They aren’t together.’ She then stopped her train of thought, and jumped to another.

‘But what if Will did lie? What if they really are together? Then I guess his anger was totally justified. But, why would Will take the waiter’s number? If that’s even what he did. But, it couldn’t have possibly been anything else!’ Buffy felt overwhelmed with the thoughts and questions running through her head.

I light of the holiday, she had spent the past few days in blessed ignorance of all the rumors. Now, everything was coming back with the force of a hurricane. As she started to stomp through the snow-covered path to the condo complex, she thought of some other things.

As much as Buffy wanted Will for herself, she hated seeing him and Xander fight. She also really hated seeing Xander so upset. He was her brother and he came before anyone else, even Will. She was starting to feel real anger toward Will for the first time ever. How could he do this to Xander?

‘Can I even trust him anymore?’

***

Buffy found Xander lying on his bed with his new headphones on and his eyes closed. She called his name about five times before throwing a pillow at his head.

“Jeez, Buffy! What the hell?” he yelled, taking his headphones off and sitting up.

“Are you okay?” she asked, trying for sympathetic.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, annoyed, trying to put his headphones back on.

“Xander, you stormed out of-“

“I don’t wanna fucking talk about it!” he exclaimed, ignoring any further protest by putting on his headphones and turning up the music on his iPod.

“Xander, I’m on your side!” she yelled, but he didn’t hear over the volume of the music.

Buffy turned to leave the room, closing the door behind her. She sat down on the couch, exhausted from the day, and felt tears start to prick her eyes.

Will came back before dinner that night, not giving any explanation to where he had been. He and Xander didn’t speak for the rest of the night, a fact that was glaringly obvious to Buffy. However, her mother and aunt never questioned it and acted like all was normal, chatting about their day on the mountain and asking the kids about their day.

‘This is so wrong!’ Buffy screamed in her head. She couldn’t handle this. It was better when she thought they were a couple, at least things were more normal then. ‘And if they actually were a couple, are they broken up now?’

Will kept looking to Xander as if waiting for him to say or do something. Xander wouldn’t even spare a glance at Will. They were both so stubborn, though. Buffy knew that neither of them wanted to be the first to say something.

Xander turned on the T.V. after dinner, still ignoring Will’s glances.

“I’m going for a walk,” Will said gruffly, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and walking out the door without any further explanation.

“Xander, you can’t just-“ Buffy started.

“Yes, I can,” he said, cutting her off as he flipped through the T.V. channels.

Buffy knew that with her brother, it was best to let him cool off before she tried to talk about it. So she decided to let it be for now, however frustrating it was.

‘I just want to understand,’ she thought to herself.

Will came back an hour later and retreated to the bedroom immediately. Buffy thought about going to talk to him, but decided against it.

‘Xander will think I’m taking Will’s side if I do that; then he’ll never talk to me.’ She sat contemplating what to do for a while, and then she got an idea. ‘It’s time to take this problem to the bug guns,’ she decided.

***

“Mom, can I ask you a question?” Buffy looked at her mother over the dress rack in the small boutique they were in.

Buffy had convinced Joyce to take her shopping the next day, saying that she wanted to go before the left Tahoe the day after. Helen had some work to do from home, so she was unable to accompany them.

“What is it, sweetie?” Joyce asked. She held up a simple black dress and looked it over before putting it back on the rack.

“Have you ever thought…that maybe…Xander and Will might be…you know,” she struggled to find the words. Talking to her mother was a last resort, so she was reasonably nervous.

Joyce looked at her and smiled understandingly. “Buffy, are you asking me if I think that Xander and Will are in a relationship?”

“Yeah,” she replied, surprised that her mother has guessed so quickly. ‘Was it obvious to everyone but me?’

Joyce looked down for a moment, brow furrowed. “Of course, I’ve considered it.”

“You have?”

“Well, yes. They do have an unusually close relationship for two boys.”

“I guess I’m the only one that didn’t see that.”

“It’s understandable, honey. Will’s been around for so long that you wouldn’t think it abnormal,” Joyce explained, moving on to a rack of dress pants. “Did you ask either of them about it?”

Buffy followed after her mother, amazed by her nonchalance during the conversation.

“Yeah. Xander just laughed and said not to believe everything I hear. Will told me they weren’t together.”

“And that answer didn’t satisfy you?”

“I thought it did. But, I guess not.”

“I see.”

“And something happened yesterday,” she was feeling more forthcoming with the information, especially because she couldn’t talk to either Xander or Will about this.

“I figured,” Joyce smiled wryly. “They were unusually quiet at dinner.”

“Yeah, Xander got mad at Will for flirting with the waiter in the café. He said Will was embarrassing him. I thought he was being ridiculous, but then I saw Will take the waiter’s number and now I don’t know what to think anymore. I tried to talk to Xander, but he wouldn’t and I don’t know if I can talk to Will anymore. It’s all so confusing,” she finished with a sigh, relieved to have gotten it out.

“I know, Buffy. But, I think this may be something better left alone.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, don’t try to press the matter anymore. They’ll figure things out eventually.”

“But, mom. If they are together, or were, then why couldn’t they just be open about it?”

Joyce chuckled. “You have a lot to learn about this world, sweetie.”

“Are you saying you wouldn’t be okay with it?” Buffy was confused and a little bit angry with her mother.

“It’s not me that wouldn’t be okay with it.”

“What do you mean?”

Joyce didn’t answer her, but just kept on moving through the clothing racks.

Later, after Joyce opened the trunk of her car to put in the shopping bags, she surprised Buffy with a hug.

“Everything will be okay,” she said softly as Buffy relaxed into her embrace.

“Will it?”

“I know this is all confusing for you, but be strong. It will all work out.” She pulled back and brushed her thumb over Buffy’s cheek, smiling gently.

“But what if it doesn’t?” she insisted.

“Don’t think like that,” Joyce scolded, shutting the trunk and getting into the car. Buffy followed suite, hoping with everything that she was that her mother was right.

***

They next day was New Year’s Eve and they were heading home early in the morning. Buffy was glad to be leaving, as she didn’t think she could spend another night in the cramped bedroom with Will and Xander’s tension in the air. She knew that Will and Xander felt the same.

Buffy had been thinking more about Joyce’s laissez-faire attitude when it came to the boys. She still couldn’t help but think that it was a bad idea. ‘Not that I think I could force them to talk to each other,” she thought. “But, a least someone could make them think about reconciling.”

They packed their things into Joyce’s car, said their goodbyes to Helen and were on their way home. Xander claimed the front seat for himself, obviously to avoid sitting next to Will. He put his headphones on immediately, signaling his lack of desire to talk to anyone. Without Xander’s usual chatter, the ride was very quiet. Will spent most of it reading and Buffy tried to do some homework, but was having great trouble focusing.

“So Will,” Joyce said about halfway through the ride. “Have you been thinking much about college?”

He looked up from his book and said “um, a bit.”

“Well, I think you should definitely consider pursuing an art career,” she said encouragingly. “You have too much talent to waste.”

“Thanks and uh, yeah,” he said, “I’m thinking about it.”

“Listen, Will,” Joyce started. “I’ve been a little short handed at the gallery recently. Would you maybe want to come help out a few days a week? I’d pay you, of course. It would get you some good experience, especially if you plan on going to art school. Also, it looks great on a resume!” Joyce finished her pitch and looked at Will expectantly in her rear view mirror.

“Wow, Joyce. That’s really nice of you to offer. I just-“

“You don’t have to decided now,” she said, cutting him off. “Just think about it, okay?”

“Okay.”

Buffy looked at Will out of the corner of her eye, trying not to let him know she was staring. She saw the corner of his lip twitch in the beginnings of a smile.

“Actually, Joyce,” he said after a moment. “I would love to.”

“Great!” she said excitedly. “I don’t reopen until the weekend, so I’ll let you know when you can start.”

“Can’t wait,” he replied with a smile.

“Will, you are going to learn so much. I can show you how to…” Joyce continued to ramble on excitedly about the gallery.

Buffy stared out the window, not listening. However, she was grateful to her mother for breaking the awkward silence that had hung in the air. She then heard a beeping noise coming from her cell phone, signaling that she had a new text message. She looked at her phone and saw it was from Riley.

“C’s party 2nite?” it read. It all the drama of the past two days, Buffy had totally forgotten about her New Year’s Eve plans to go to Cordelia’s party with Riley.

‘I think I need a little fun tonight. Get my mind of all this,’ she thought hopefully.

“Yup,” she texted back.

“Pick u up at 9?” he sent back.

“Sounds great!”

***

Will had left immediately upon their arrival home. He thanked Joyce for everything, said goodbyes and left in his DeSoto.

“So, are you and Will going to do your annual New Year’s horror movie marathon tonight?” Joyce asked Xander as they unpacked the car.

Buffy knew exactly what her mother was doing. She was using one of her passive-aggressive techniques to get Xander to admit something. It was something she had often done with their father before they divorced.

“I don’t think so,” Xander said, trying to act nonchalant, but failing miserably.

“You know you have to talk to him sometime,” Joyce said.

“No, I don’t,” Xander replied, climbing the stairs out of sight.

“What happened to let him figure it out, Mom?” Buffy asked, arms crossed.

“Had to try something,” she shrugged. “So, I thought you might want to come to the Andrews’ party with me tonight. I know they’d love to see you there again this year.”

The Andrews’ were friends of Joyce’s who hosted a New Year’s Eve party every year. In years past, Buffy had always gone, wanting to avoid the horror movie fest at home and having no other plans. It was always a drag, so Buffy was grateful to have other plans.

“Actually, I told Riley I’d go with him to Cordelia Chase’s party,” she said, praying that her mother wouldn’t object.

“Oh,” he mother said in surprise. “Alright, then.”

“Really? I can go?”

“I can’t see why not. Just make sure you call me if you need a ride home. If Riley’s been drinking I don’t-“

“I know, I know. I promise, I will.”

“I want you home before 1 o’clock. Remember, you and Xander are spending the day with you father tomorrow.”

‘Crap.’ Buffy had almost forgotten about that. About once a month, Hank Summers would come to Sunnydale to spend some time with his children. When she was younger, Buffy always looked forward to it. These days it had become more like a chore.

“Can’t wait,” she said, voice dripping in sarcasm. Joyce only smiled.

Buffy spent an hour getting ready. She put on more makeup than she wore normally, adding three coats of mascara, eyeliner and a little bit of glitter to her eyes.

‘Glitter’s in, right? People love Katy Perry and that Ke$ha chick,” she thought as she dabbed it on.

She tried on several outfits before she decided on a short, bright pink dress with silver sequins under the bust. She tried pushing her small breast up to get more cleavage, but it was to no avail.

‘No Boobs Buffy, that’s what they should call me,’ she thought cynically as she stood in front of her full-length mirror.

Nine o’clock arrived and she heard a prompt ring of the doorbell. Luckily her mother had left already and wasn’t there to give Riley the third degree. She passed Xander’s door on her way downstairs, rolling her eyes at the sound of Eminem’s angry voice blasting through the walls.

“Hey, Riley,” she said, opening the door to let him in.

“Hi, Buffy,” he said as he stepped inside, giving her a quick kiss. “How was you Christmas?”

“Good. Well, it was good. Then it wasn’t good. Now it’s just weird. But, I mean, Christmas itself was good.” She stopped after that, aware of her rambling.

Riley furrowed his brow, “everything okay?”

“With me? Yes. With Will and Xander? Not so much. They kind of had this fight thingy and now they’re not talking to each other.”

“Did you ever find out about, you know, what you were wondering?” he inquired.

“Um, I thought I did. But, now I don’t really know anymore. Everything’s so confusing,” she said exhaustedly, grabbing her coat from the closet and putting it on.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“An enormous no to that. Not right now at least. I’m all talked and thinked out when it comes to that.”

“Okay,” he didn’t press her any further. “You ready to go?” He offered his arm.

“Absolutely,” she said with a smile, linking her arm in his.

**

Cordelia Chase’s New Year’s Eve Bash would be even bigger than her usual parties, Riley had warned Buffy. The music would be louder, the lights would be dimmer and there would be enough alcohol to fill a swimming pool.

“Hi guys!” Cordelia greeted them loudly as they came in. She was already tipsy, drink in hand. “You can throw your coats in the office upstairs on the right and drinks are in the kitchen.”

Buffy and Riley put their coats in the room, where a boy and a girl were already making out on a chaise lounge. They made their way back down to the kitchen as Riley greeted his football friends with high fives and fist bumps. Buffy smiled politely at all the people she recognized from school and had barely spoken to.

One of the many popular songs about drinking was blasting through the house and people were dancing in the middle of the living room. In the kitchen, the counters were completely covered with bottles of alcohol, most of which Buffy had never seen or heard of before.

“What do you want to drink?” Riley asked.

“Something not too strong,” Buffy suggested shyly. Her experience with alcohol was very limited and she was afraid of drinking too much, especially considering her small stature. She watched Riley pour a little bit of rum into a cup.

“That okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, that’s good” she said, seeing the small amount. He then filled the rest of the cup with Coke and handed it to her. “Thanks,” she said taking a sip. ‘Can’t taste it. Good.’

Riley grabbed a beer for himself and took Buffy’s hand to lead her through the house. They ended up in the game room, where some of Riley’s friends were playing pool.

“Mind if I play a bit?” Riley asked Buffy.

“No, go ahead,” she said, her inner feminist a little annoyed that they didn’t seem to be letting any of the girls play. However, most of the girls seemed to be scantily clad and gyrating on the dance floor.

“Omigod, Buffy!” She heard a high-pitched voice yell from behind her.

She turned around to find Harmony Kendall, one of her least favorite people, stumbling right toward her. Harmony had a red cup in her hand, liquid sloshing over the side. She came up next to Buffy and threw an arm around her, mostly to steady herself on her heels.

“Isn’t this the best frickin party?” she said drunkenly. Buffy would bet that Harmony had been drinking for a while.

“Yeah,” she replied. “Pretty great.” Truth be told, she was a little bored. Being the only sober one was kind of a drag. So she downed her drink quickly and waited for the effects to kick in. She saw Riley finish off his beer and grab another off a table in the game room. ‘I’m probably gonna have to call mom,’ was a passing thought she had as she went to get another drink.

***

Buffy had worked up a good buzz as it got closer to midnight and she was feeling light-headed and giddy. Riley had finished his pool game and they were currently sitting on a couch in one of the many sitting rooms in the Chase house after having mingled and danced for a bit. She was laughing along with the group of intoxicated teenagers about someone she didn’t know, trying to feel like part of the group.

“Your name’s Buffy right?” one of Riley’s friend slurred at her from another couch. He was a short stocky guy with pimples and a crew cut.

“Yeah, and your Steve,” she said loudly. “We’ve met before.”

“Oh, yeah,” he said with a boorish laugh.

Even in her intoxicated state she found many of Riley’s friends exhausting and moronic, especially this one. It didn’t shock her in the least that he didn’t remember her. What he said next, however, did.

“Isn’t your brother a faggot?”

Buffy was taken aback; flight instinct took over and she got up from the couch. Standing so quickly made her dizzy and she stumbled a bit before righting herself. Then fight jumped in.

“Excuse me?” she said, turning to Steve. Between her elevated height now and the effects of the alcohol, she felt bolder than she normally would have.

“He’s a faggot,” he repeated. “Him and that queer British kid. That’s what Riley said.” He was laughing now, making Buffy fume and shoot an angry look at Riley.

Some of the others let out laughs, while most of them remained silent and watched the exchange. Riley said nothing, which was pissing Buffy off more and more. She turned back to Steve.

“Don’t you ever fucking talk about my brother like that,” she said in a low, angry voice.

She turned to storm out of the room, hearing Riley call her name. She didn’t stop and headed upstairs toward the room with the coats.

“Buffy, wait!” he yelled, following her. “Where the hell are you going?”

“I’m going home, you asshole!” she yelled.

“I’m an asshole? I didn’t say anything!”

“Bullshit. I told you about Xander and you weren’t supposed to say anything to anyone about it.”

“Buffy, it wasn’t a big deal.” He tried to calm her down, but it was having the exact opposite effect.

“Yes it was!” she cried.

“Everyone was thinking it before I said anything anyway!” he argued.

“That doesn’t make it better! Just go away, I don’t wanna talk to you right now!” She entered the office where the coats were, shut the door and locked it before Riley could follow her in.

“Buffy! Open the door!” he yelled, knocking loudly.

‘He has to stop eventually,’ she thought, ignoring him.

“Fine,” she heard him yell after a few minutes of knocking. “You can find another ride home!”

She didn’t hear him again after that, so she assumed he had left.

‘Now, how am I gonna get home?’ She looked through her phone contacts and landed on the one person she knew she needed right now. Hitting the call button, she waited as the phone rang.

“Hello,” he picked up on the third ring. Despite her conflicted emotions about him and the fact that he had obviously just woken up, his voice sounded like heaven.

“Will?” she asked, voice cracking as she felt tears coming on all of a sudden.

“Buffy? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” he asked quickly, sounding worried and much more awake.

“You hafta come get me,” she told him, tears starting to fall.

“Where are you?”

“I’m at Cordelia Chase’s pa-“

“I’m on my way,” he said, interrupting her. “Just hang on, kitten, I’ll be there soon, okay?”

“Okay,” she said in a small voice.

“Just stay where you are.”

***

She felt like she had waited forever, even though it had only been about five minutes. She heard more yelling than usual from outside the door. Looking at her cell, she saw that it was three minutes to midnight.

‘Great,’ she thought. ‘Now I’m gonna ring in the New Year crying alone in this room.’ She felt more emotional in her intoxicated state and the tears came faster.

She peered through the window that looked onto the enormous front lawn and saw Will’s DeSoto pull in at the end of the long driveway. She quickly turned to find her coat in the pile and ran out of the room. Most of the kids had gathered into rooms with T.V.s so she would be able to get through the large house without anyone seeing her, namely Riley.

“Ten!” She heard everyone yell, starting the countdown.

“Nine!”

She ran down the hallway.

“Eight!”

She hurried down the stairs as quickly as she could manage with her dizziness.

“Seven!”

“Six!”

“Five!”

She reached the bottom of the stairs with a stumble.

“Four!”

“Three!”

She struggled into her coat.

“Two!”

She whipped open the front door.

“One!”

There he was, looking like an angel in black.

“Happy New Year!” The sounds were almost deafening, with horns and high pitched girl screams.

She instinctively launched herself into his arms, starting to cry again. He held her close as she clung to him, wetting his leather-clad shoulder with her tears.

“Buffy, luv, it’s okay. I’m here now,” he said trying to calm her. He let her cry for a few moments before she finally released him. “C’mon, let’s go to the car.”

They started to walk down the front steps, Will watching Buffy closely.

“Have you been drinking?” he asked, noticing her sway a bit.

“Yeah,” she replied, grabbing onto his arm to steady herself. They reached the car and Will helped Buffy into the passenger seat. He got into the drivers seat, then turned to her.

“You wanna tell me what happened, pet?” he asked with concern.

“Boys are stupid,” she grumbled.

“Did Riley do something to you?” he asked, starting to get angry. “Cause if he did, I’ll go back in there and-“

“No!” she exclaimed. “No, it wasn’t anything like that.”

“You wanna tell me about it?” he asked, calming a little.

“I don’t know,” she said quietly. “It’s kind of about you.”

“About me?” he asked, confused.

“Well, about Xander and you, actually,” she confessed. “One of Riley’s stupid friends used a really awful, mean word about Xander…and, and…you…and I got really mad, so I told him not to…to talk about my brother like that, and then I left…and then I yelled at Riley..and then I called you,” she finished, waiting for him to respond.

“Let me guess, he called us faggots?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

“How did you-”

“Assholes like him have been calling us that for years. You’re lucky you’ve never heard it until now,” he said quietly.

“I don’t understand,” she said with a whisper.

“I’m glad you don’t, luv.” He reached out to her and brushed a piece of hair out of her face, smiling gently. “You weren’t made to hate like that.”

Realization started to dawn on her.

“Is that why Xander’s been so weird about everything?” she asked him.

“I suppose. He’s always been sensitive about stuff like that.”

“I feel like this is all my fault,” Buffy said in a small voice. “If I hadn’t asked-“

“No! No, luv, it’s not your fault. Never think that!” he said, taking her hands in his. “Listen to me. This has been a long time coming, and it’s most certainly not your fault.” He emphasized the last three words and squeezed her hands.

“Okay,” she said, accepting that for now. “I’m so tired, Will. Please, just take me home,” she said with new tears in her eyes.

“Of course, kitten.” He let go of her hands and turned to start the car. Buffy leaned her head against the window, starting to drift off.

**

She awoke to Will trying to lift her out of the car.

“It’s okay, I can walk,” she whispered.

“Okay, luv,” he said, putting her feet on the ground, but still holding onto her arms.

He helped her into the house, using the spare key that Joyce had given him a few years ago to unlock the door. Joyce was not home yet and Xander was probably still locked in his room. Will brought Buffy into the living room, settled her onto the couch and left to go into the kitchen. He came back a minute later with a glass of water and sat down next to her on the couch.

“Here, drink some of this,” he said, handing her the glass. She took it carefully and started to drink. “You’ll probably be hung-over tomorrow, but the water should help.”

She placed the water glass on the coffee table and turned to him. She surprised both him and herself by reaching forward to hug him.

“Thank you,” she whispered as she held onto him.

“Anytime, pet,” he whispered back, stroking his hand over her hair. She sunk into his embrace, enjoying the feeling of being close to him. She twirled a finger in the curls at the base of his neck and inhaled his scent.

“You smell really good,” she said impulsively. ‘Blame it on the alcohol,’ she thought.

He laughed a bit. “So do you, pet.”

“Buffy?” she heard Xander’s voice coming from upstairs. She immediately pulled out of the hug, suddenly feeling like she had betrayed her brother.

“Buffy, is that you?” he called again, starting to pound down the stairs. “I heard someone come in and-“ He stopped when he came into the room and saw Buffy with Will. “What are you doing here?”

“She called me to bring her home from the party. Riley was drinking and she needed a ride,” he lied. “She’s been drinking,” he added.

“Well, you can go now,” he said coldly. “I’ll take her upstairs.”

Will didn’t seem to feel like arguing so he just nodded.

“You now I’m here if you need anything, luv,” he told Buffy before getting up to leave. She nodded in response.

As he reached the door, he turned back and looked at Xander. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it and didn’t. Then he opened the front door and walked out without another word.

“C’mon, Buffy, I’ll help you upstairs,” Xander said, coming to take her arm. She was too tired to argue, so she conceded and let him help her. They went upstairs and he brought her into her room. As he was about to help her into bed, she turned and wrapped her arms around him.

“I love you,” she mumbled. “No matter what.”

“Love you too, Buff,” he said, somewhat dismissively, returning her embrace and then changing their positions so he could lift her. He managed to get her into bed, took her shoes off and pulled the covers over her. He started to leave when she spoke again, a little louder this time.

“Really, Xander,” she said a bit more coherently. “I don’t care what anyone else says about it. I still love you,” she finished with a yawn.

Xander had stopped at the doorway, not saying anything or turning back to her.

“You should go to sleep,” was all he said after a moment. Then turned off the lights and closed the door. Buffy had already fallen asleep.

It was noon on New Year’s Day and Buffy, Xander and their father sat at a small, circular table in one of Sunnydale’s most upscale restaurants, having a quiet lunch. Buffy had been roused from sleep at ten o’clock, much earlier than she would have liked considering her night. Her head was still pounding, but she tried to put on a happy face for her father, who always expected everyone to be as overly cheerful as he was.

Hank Summers had moved to L.A. after his divorce from Joyce. He ran his own financial planning firm, which he had moved out there with him. He came to Sunnydale about once a month during the school year and Buffy and Xander usually spent a month out of the summer with him in L.A.

He was the exact opposite of Joyce, being very conservative, though Joyce swore he hadn’t always been. Hank was not overly tall, but had the bulky build of a former athlete. He had probably once been very muscular but now most of it had turned to flab.

“So, Buffy, how’s school been?” Hank asked the obligatory question.

“Good, I guess,” she answered. “The same.” Hank accepted Buffy’s answer as he always did. Buffy’s report cards were usually good, so he never pressed her about school very often. Xander, however, was a different story.

Xander cared far too much about what their father thought of him. Every time Hank came into town and told him to work harder in school or that he should try a sport, he would oblige, at least for a week or so before going back to his usual lazy routine. Xander would even feign interest in football and hockey games, which Buffy knew he actually hated.

For some reason, Hank seemed to hold Xander to a higher standard then Buffy. She figured it was because Xander was his only son and there was that whole macho masculinity thing he had going on. Buffy thought that if Hank really wanted Xander to be like him, he should probably be around more.

‘Here we go,’ Buffy thought as Hank turned the conversation toward Xander.

“So, Xander, you’re mother sent me your last report card,” he said disappointedly.

“And you’re shocked at how great it was,” Xander joked with a nervous smile.

“This isn’t a joking matter, Xander. What about college?”

“I don’t know,” he answered, looking down.

“You don’t know? Well, maybe you should start to think about that a little bit more. I’m sure there’s at least one school that would accept you with those grades.” He shook his head. “You know, you’re mother doesn’t push you enough. You should have been looking months ago.”

“What if I don’t want to go to college?” Xander asked, a little more bravely.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Hank said, ending the discussion. “Let’s talk about something more pleasant,” he decided with a smile. “Any girlfriends?” he asked Xander.

‘Just perfect,’ Buffy thought, rolling her eyes.

“Uh, no,” Xander said. “No girlfriend.”

“Ya know, it’s cause you spend too much time with that Will character,” Hank said. “People are gonna start to think you’re a couple,” he said with a big laugh.

Buffy and Xander’s eyes both widened at this. They both forced themselves to start laughing with their father, albeit nervously. Xander didn’t dare a glance at Buffy, though she eyed him the whole time to gauge his reaction.

“Dad, don’t be ridiculous,” Xander said.

“I know, I know! I was just kiddin’ with ya!” Hank said, giving Xander playful punch on the arm.

“Buffy has a boyfriend,” Xander blurted out, desperate to get the attention off himself.

“Oh, really?” Hank asked, looking at Buffy with his eyebrows raised.

“Uh, yeah,” Buffy answered, shooting Xander a dirty look. He gave her a smug grin in return.

“And is this boy good enough for my little girl?” he asked.

“Of course, Dad,” she answered, trying to sound chipper. “You’d really like him. He’s on the football team.” Buffy wasn’t even sure where she and Riley currently stood, but she wasn’t about to bring up the previous night in front of her father or Xander.

“Well, sweetie, I’ll have to meet him sometime,” he said with a smile. “Is he a good guy, Xander?”

“Yeah, he’s great,” Xander said with sarcasm that Hank missed.

Buffy couldn’t wait for this to end.

***

After Hank dropped them off at home that evening, Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. He had taken them on one of his ‘let me try and buy your affection’ shopping sprees at the mall after lunch. Buffy wasn’t thrilled with this, but who was she to say no to free clothes?

She thought back to lunch and what her father had said to Xander. ‘Way to put the pressure on, Dad’ she thought as she put away her new things. ‘This is bound to make everything worse.’

She went to go downstairs, but saw that Xander’s door was open. She decided to take the opportunity to talk to him for once. She walked in to see him sitting on his bed with a textbook out in front of him.

“You’re voluntarily doing homework?” she asked. “Without Will?”

He looked up at her. “Dad said a few things that made sense,” he explained, ignoring the mention of Will.

“About getting into college?”

“Among other things.”

“I don’t understand why you follow his every whim whenever he decides to grace us with his presence,” she said.

“He’s just always so disappointed with me,” he said, looking down.

“That doesn’t mean you owe him anything,” she argued.

“You wouldn’t understand,” he replied.

“Stop saying that! I’m sick of not understanding! Make me understand!” Buffy was starting to get mad now. It was endlessly frustrating being told this.

“Buffy-“ he started to argue.

“It’s about the Will thing, isn’t it?” she asked.

“Would you stop bringing that up?” he yelled.

“I’ve barely said anything to you about it. Especially since every time I’ve tried you brush it off.”

“Well, maybe you should take a hint,” he said angrily.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked with narrowed eyes.

“It means that it’s none of your business.”

Buffy was about to lose it.

“I can’t believe you! I have been trying so hard to be here for you. I even tried to take your side in this stupid fight you’re having with Will, and I don’t even understand what it’s about! And you keep pushing me away!”

He just stared at her, not speaking.

“Will has explained more to me than you ever have!” she yelled, knowing this comment would irritate him.

“Yeah? What did he explain to you?”

“It’s none of your business,” she said, mocking his earlier words.

“You’re so immature.”

“I am? You’re the one who’s been acting like a baby. You’re so scared of…of god knows what…that you’re pushing away all the people that love you. And you know what?”

“What?”

“It’s working!” she said, walking out the door and slamming it behind her.

The next day they were back at school. In light of Will and Xander no longer speaking, Joyce had driven them. However, she swore that she wouldn’t be doing it every day and that Xander could either get a job to buy his own car or they could take the bus to school.

Buffy and Xander had barely spoken since their argument the day before. They had never had a fight like this before and Buffy had absolutely no idea what to do about it.

‘Maybe I’ve knocked some sense into him,’ she thought. ‘I can only hope that maybe he’ll come around at some point. I mean, I’m certainly not gonna apologize.’

After arriving at school, they went their separate ways without a word to each other. Buffy struggled to open her locker, having forgotten her combination over the break.

“Need some help with that?” a male voice came from behind her.

“Nope,” she said dryly, trying different combination.

“Are we ever gonna talk about the other night?” Riley asked.

“It’s been like a day,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“You didn’t answer any of the text message I sent you yesterday.”

“Maybe I was busy,” she said dismissively. ‘It’s not like you called me to apologize,’ she thought.

“So, what? We’re not gonna talk about this?”

“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about,” she said. ‘Yes!’ she thought as she finally got her locker open.

“I beg to differ,” he argued.

“Let’s see, you talked to your jackass friend about my brother. Said jackass insulted my brother in the worst possible way. You let him and didn’t back me up. Worst of all is I told you that stuff in confidence cause I thought I could trust you. So, no, there’s nothing for us to talk about,” she finished, slamming her locker door shut.

“Buffy, I’m sorry. But, it’s not like people don’t already talk about them. I mean-“

“You are not making it any better. And I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“So, that’s it?”

“Yup,” she said with a sarcastic smile, shutting her locker and starting to walk away. Riley didn’t take the hint.

“Buffy, c’mon. I said I was sorry,” he pled as he followed her down the hallway.

“And I don’t accept.”

“So, are we done?”

“I don’t know,” she said more seriously, stopping and turning to him.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that I need some time, Riley. I don’t know if I can be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect my family.”

“Buffy, I never-“ he started to argue.

“Just, leave it,” she said, holding up a hand.

“Guess that means we won’t be Facebook official yet,” he tried to joke.

“Guess not,” she said before she turned and walked into her homeroom without another word to him. Luckily, he finally took the hint and didn’t follow her in. She took her usual seat next to Willow, who was early as usual.

“Hey, Buffy!” Willow said in a chipper voice. Only Willow could be excited about being back to school after vacation.

“Hey, Willow,” Buffy returned.

“How was your vacation?” Willow asked.

“Well, it started with me getting high for the first time with Xander and Will and ended with a big blowout between me and Xander.”

“So…good?” Will asked with a nervous smile.

“So not. Also, somewhere in the middle Will and Xander stopped speaking, I saw Will flirt with some waiter, and Steve Olsen called my brother a fag.”

Willow’s eyed widened large at that. “Buffy!” she exclaimed.

“I know, major suckage. Worst Christmas vacation ever,” she said dryly. “Oh, and Riley and I got into it and now we’re kind of on a break.”

“Jeez, and I thought this year’s Hannukah dinner at my Bubby’s was dramatic. All that happened there was my dad and uncle arguing about the state of economy, though it did get very heated,” Willow said.

“Consider yourself lucky,” Buffy said. “I feel like my whole world has been turned upside down.”

“What happened exactly?” Willow asked curiously.

“Well…” Buffy started. She gave Willow a run down of everything that had happened since Christmas. “And now I still don’t know if Will and Xander were a couple,” she finally finished.

“I don’t even know what to say, Buffy. This is like, really serious stuff,” Willow said.

“I know! I had no idea that my asking a simple question could turn into such a mess,” Buffy said with her hands over her face.

“It is so not your fault, Buffy!”

“That’s what Will said. I just can’t help but think that I had something to do with it.”

“Well, from what it sounds like, Xander has some things he needs to work out.”

“You can say that again.”

***

‘I hate this place so much,’ Buffy thought, sitting down at her usual table in the cafeteria. Willow had yet to arrive, so Buffy would have to sit alone awkwardly until she did. She took out her brown bag lunch and watched Riley laughing with his friends across the cafeteria.

‘Jerk. At least he’s not over hear, begging for my forgiveness,’ she thought, when suddenly Will appeared at the table, taking her attention from Riley.

“This seat taken?” he asked, sitting down in the chair across from her before she could answer.

“Please, sit down,” she said sarcastically. Will just smirked at her. “So, what? Now that you and Xander aren’t talking you need a replacement friend?” she asked, making sure to sound annoyed.

“I would never think of you as a replacement, luv,” he said sincerely. “I wanted to see how you were. You were in quite the state the last time I saw you.”

“Oh, god!” she groaned, recalling him bringing her home the other night.

“You don’t remember?” he asked, amusement in his voice.

“Yes, I remember! Mostly…”

“I suppose you remember our kiss then?” he said, raising his eyebrow suggestively.

“What?” she exclaimed, eyes wide.

“Only joking, pet,” he said, laughing at her reaction.

“That I definitely would have remembered!”

“Think so?” he said, smirking. Buffy turned bright red and started pulling things out of her lunch bag to hide her embarrassment. “One day you’ll stop that gorgeous blushing, luv. It’ll break my heart,” he said dramatically, with a hand on his chest.

‘Never,’ she thought to herself, turning even redder. ‘And gorgeous?’ Under different circumstances, Buffy would be thrilled that Will, her older brother’s beautiful best friend whom she was hopelessly in love with, had said such a thing to her. However, now it was Will, her older brother’s most likely gay ex-best friend slash possible ex-lover, saying this to her. Somehow it didn’t have the same appeal.

“Seriously, though, how is everything, kitten?” he asked, leaning on his forearms on the table.

“Um, not so great,” she started slowly. “Xander and I got into a big fight yesterday.”

“Sounds familiar,” he said. “Wanna talk about it?”

“I dunno. Maybe later, with less people around to overhear,” she said hopefully.

He glanced around the crowded cafeteria and nodded. “You’re right, pet. How about you meet me in the art room after school. I’ve got some work to do there, so we can talk and then I’ll drive you home?”

“Okay, but I’ve got some questions for you mister! And this time I want real answers!” she said with resolve, pointing her finger at him.

“Alright then,” he said, surprised at her tone. Getting up from the table he said, “gotta go talk to Mrs. Cobb about my future right now, but I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Okay,” she agreed, and then he was gone.

***

After the final period, Buffy hurried down the hallway with nervous excitement. She was eagerly anticipating getting real answers from Will and to do that she knew she would have to ask the right questions.

She found him in the art room, sitting at a table with a large sheet of paper spread out in front of him. He was using a piece of charcoal to draw a still life that was set up on a table a few feet away from him.

“You’re drawing flowers?” she asked skeptically, walking up behind him.

“Mrs. Cobb says that observational drawing is a necessity in an art school portfolio,” he explained, not looking up from his work. “Sit down, luv,” he said, gesturing to seat next to him.

“So, you’re actually gonna apply?” she asked, surprised. “That’s great!”

“Yeah,” he said nonchalantly.

“It is great, right?” she asked, surprised at his answer.

He stopped drawing and looked at her. “I suppose it is.” He continued, seeing her raised eyebrow. “Don’t get me wrong, I would love to go. I actually can’t imagine anything I want to do more, but I just don’t know if it’s realistic. My parents can’t afford it, and even if they could I doubt they’d let me go.”

“But your still gonna apply?”

“Mrs. Cobb says there’s always scholarship money. She thinks I have a really good shot at it, so I guess it doesn’t hurt to try. Maybe I’ll be able to get a little money saved up when I start at your mum’s gallery.”

“When are you starting?” she asked, recalling her mother asking him to work for her.

“Tomorrow afternoon. Joyce has a new show coming in and she wants me to help her hang the work. Anyway, the application deadline for most schools is February first, so I’ve gotta get all my work together in time.”

“Well, I think it’s a great idea,” she said with a smile. He started drawing again, but continued talking.

“Thanks, pet. Anyway, we were supposed to be talking about your troubles, not mine,” he said.

“It’s alright. I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Try me.”

“Okay, so Xander and I spent the day with Dad yesterday.”

“Lemme guess! Good ole Hank told him to get off his pansy ass and start working harder and doing manly things like playing football and bagging birds,” Will offered.

“Well, not in so many words, but it was definitely implied. Xander just has this inexplicable need to please him, even though we only see him about ten times a year. Anyway, he basically tells Xander to start thinking about college and to get a girlfriend.”

“Hank is just full of good ideas, isn’t he?” he asked with much sarcasm.

“Always,” she said rolling her eyes. “The worst was when he made a crack that the reason Xander doesn’t have a girlfriend is because people think you two are a couple. Then he laughed as if it were the most hilarious thing in the world.”

“No?” Will asked, eyes wide with surprise.

“Yes. So of course when we get home, Xander starts studying like a good little boy. Then I go to talk to him, trying to be helpful and he acts all avoidy and weird again, saying that Dad is right.”

“Did you tell him what happened on New Year’s Eve?”

“God no! Are you kidding me? He’d never speak to me, or probably you, ever again!”

“It looks like that’s the way it’s gonna be anyway though, pet.”

“Well, I’m hoping he’ll come around. I’m just sick of reaching out to him and having him push me away.”

“Join the club,” Will said, rolling his eyes.

“I pretty much yelled it at him last night,” she added. “Hence the no talky thing that’s happening now.”

“Honestly, pet, I’m really not that surprised that he stopped talking to me. I always had a feeling something like this would happen eventually. But, I never thought he’d do that to you,” he said sincerely.

“Neither did I,” she said quietly, with a pensive look on her face.

“What?” he asked, taking note of her expression.

She turned to him suddenly. “I have some questions,” she stated bluntly.

“About?”

“Everything. Well, mostly about you and Xander. But, I’m going to ask them all and you’re going to tell me the truth, no bullshit,” she said in her most commanding voice.

“Wouldn’t give you anything less,” he said, sounding amused.

“Okay, well…were you and Xander ever a couple?” she asked, starting with the most obvious question.

“I thought I already told you that we weren’t,” he replied.

“I know you did. But, after that day at the café I wasn’t sure anymore.” She looked down at her hands, belying her nervousness despite her previous bravado.

“Well, we never were, luv. Cross my heart,” he said, making the gesture.

“Okay then,” she said slowly, considering her next question. “As much as I really don’t wanna know this, I have to ask. Were you guys maybe like, you know, friends with benefits?”

“No pet, not friends with benefits,” he said, laughing at her expression. “Except for-“

“What?” she asked nervously, eyes wide.

“Well, we did kiss one time. Just once. But, we were both drunk and Xander got all shirty about it afterwards. We haven’t spoke of it since.”

Buffy felt a small flare of jealousy in her, but was mostly relieved at the fact that they hadn’t actually done anything. Then she thought of something else.

“Then why did he get so mad at the coffee shop that day. He seemed really…jealous.”

“I really can’t answer that for you, pet.”

“Okay, this is exactly what I’m talking about. Enough with the cryptic answers. I know you’re all ‘oh, I can’t speak for Xander,’ but can you at least try?” she begged. “I just want to try and understand him. And you know him better than anyone.” Saying that out loud was a weird thing. It was strange to think that Will knew her brother better than she did.

“You wanna know what I really think?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“I think Xander was jealous. Maybe not of me with another guy, but of the fact that I can do that and he can’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that he’s scared. He’s scared to be who he is and he’s jealous and angry that I’m not.”

“So, you think Xander is really gay?”

“Yes, I do,” he said. He had stopped drawing at the start of her questioning, and was now turned in his seat to face her.

“Why is he so afraid?” she asked quietly.

“Why do you think?”

“Because of my dad?” she suggested.

“Well, yeah. But, not just your Dad. There are a lot of other things. Remember what that wanker said to you New Year’s Eve?” he asked, looking into her eyes.

“How could I forget,” she said dryly.

“Try getting called that every day,” he said, hurt showing in his blue eyes.

“I had no idea,” she whispered, feeling tears prick at the corners of her eyes as she thought of her brother’s pain.

“I know, pet, you couldn’t know. It’s like I told you that night, you weren’t meant to hate like that,” he said with a watery smile.

Will took Buffy’s hands in his and stroked his thumbs over hers. Tears started to fall from her eyes, running down her cheeks. Seeing her tears, Will pulled her into his arms, letting her cry on his shoulder. She wrapped her arms around his neck, secure in the feeling of him around her.

“I just wanna be there for him,” she said into his ear. “But he won’t let me.”

“I know the feeling, luv,” he whispered back, rubbing his hands over her back, trying to soothe her.

They sat together like that for a few more minutes until they heard a cough from behind them. They pulled apart quickly, both turning to see whom the noise had come from.

Standing in the doorway was a youngish woman that Buffy recognized as Mrs. Cobb, the art teacher. Buffy had taken a required intro class with her the previous year and remembered liking her. She was about average height, a little taller than Buffy, with long brown hair, big brown eyes and a pretty smile. She was one of those young, hip teachers that girls always looked up to and who the boys would say rude things about when they thought she wasn’t listening. She stood in the doorframe with her arms crossed over her chest and a knowing smile on her face.

“Mrs. Cobb,” Will said cheerfully. “I was just working on a piece for my portfolio. Buffy was stopping by for a quick visit.”

She laughed. “It’s okay, William. You’re friend is always welcome. Buffy Summers, right?” she asked, looking at Buffy. “You were in my intro class last year?”

“Yes, I was,” Buffy said shyly, a little embarrassed.

“This is looking really great,” she said to Will, walking over to look at his drawing.

“You think so?” he asked hopefully. “I wasn’t sure if the set up was boring or if I should have used some color or something.”

“No, this is exactly the kind of thing colleges like to see. The real creative stuff comes after you get in,” she added with a smile. Buffy could have sworn she saw Will blush, which almost never happened.

They talked about the drawing for a few more minutes while Buffy zoned out, not fully understanding what they were talking about.

“I’ll leave you to it, then,” Mrs. Cobb said finally, getting ready to leave. “Just make sure you close the door before you go.”

“Will do, Mrs. Cobb,” Will said with a charming smile. “See you tomorrow,” he added.

“Of course. Goodnight William, Buffy,” she said before turning and walking out the door. Will let out a sigh as soon as she was gone.

“God she’s beautiful,” he said wistfully. “Too bad she’s married.”

Buffy was confused. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I thought you were gay?”

“Where’s the shy Buffy Summers I used to know?” he asked amused. “I’m not even shocked by the things you ask me anymore.”

Ignoring his comment, she asked, “but, what about the guy? In the café that day? You got his number!”

“Yeah, he was cute,” he said, smiling with his tongue behind his teeth.

“Real answer, Will!” she demanded, frustrated.

He sobered. “Ok, then…I’m…bisexual,” he said seriously, looking at her expectantly.

“Bisexual?” she said, confused.

“Yes,” he said, as if explaining to a child, “it means you’re attracted to both-“

“I know what it means!” she exclaimed, interrupting him. “I just thought bisexual was something slutty chicks claim to be to get their own reality show.”

“Well, as horrifying as Tila Tequila is, no, it is not a myth,” he said, sounding slightly offended.

“I’m sorry, Will, that came out wrong,” she said apologetically. “I guess I’m just a little shocked is all,” she admitted.

Buffy really hadn’t expected any of this. She had been almost ready to accept the fact that Will was gay and that she needed to give up hope of ever being with him. Now, she finds out that yes, he is into guys, but he’s also into girls too. It was a weird feeling.


“It’s okay, pet. The past month has given you a lot of new things to deal with. I know it’s hard for people to understand, but it’s just the way I am. The same way anyone else is heterosexual or homosexual,” he explained.

“Okay,” was all she said.

“Okay?” he asked. “That’s it?”

“What else do you want me to say?”

“Nothing. It’s just, I thought you might have a few more questions or something.”

“I’ll let you know if you come up with any,” she said, smiling.

“I haven’t shattered any of your illusions about me, have I?” he joked.

“Believe me, any illusions I had were shattered the day I saw you check out that waiter’s ass.”

He laughed at that. “So we’re okay?” he asked.

“Yes, we’re okay. But, don’t expect me to start talking about cute boys with you!” she warned him, entirely serious. ‘I still have too many feelings for him to ever want to hear him talk about that,’ she thought. ‘And I wouldn’t wanna hear him talk about girls in front of me either, for that matter.’

“Wouldn’t dream of it, love,” he replied. “I doubt you want to hear that, and frankly, I don’t want to know anything about the boys you like either.”

“And why is that?” she asked, secretly hoping that it was for the same reason she didn’t want to hear about him.

“I dunno,” he said. “Maybe it’s cause you’re Xander’s little sister,” he offered.

‘Crap,’ she thought. The last thing she wanted was for him to see her like a sister.

“You know, it’s funny,” he said. “You’re the first person I’ve ever actually told that to.”

“What, that you’re bisexual?”

“Yeah.”

“So, you just came out to me?” she asked, smiling a little.

“I guess so,” he said with realization.

“You never told Xander?” she asked curiously.

“Not in so many words,” he said. “But I think he knew. Hence the resentment and jealousy.”

“You’re not ashamed, though, right?” she asked.

“No, of course not,” he assured her. “It’s just, with the exception of Xander, I’ve never had anyone I was close enough with to ever actually tell.”

Buffy warmed a little at the fact that Will felt close enough to her that he could share something so personal with her. When he said things like this to her it made her feel like she was more to him than just Xander’s little sister.

“You wanna go home yet?” he asked, looking at the clock and realizing that it was almost four thirty.

“If you wanna stay and finish your drawing, I can work on some homework,” she suggested, noticing his unfinished piece.

“You sure?”

“Absolutely,” she assured him. “Besides, I distracted you from your work in the first place.”

“Nonsense, luv,” he said. “I’m just glad to have the company.”

They sat and worked together in comfortable silence for the next hour.

***

After pulling up in front of Buffy’s house, Will parked the car and turned to look at her.

“Thank you, pet,” he said, looking her in the eyes.

“For what?” she asked, gazing right back.

“For being so amazing,” he said, making her flush for what felt like the millionth time. “And for not judging me.”

Buffy didn’t really know how to respond, so she slid across the bench seat of his vintage car to embrace him for the second time that day. Without the tears and emotion from earlier, this hug felt very different. She felt all of him, from his hard chest pressing against hers to his long fingers running through her shoulder length blond hair. His strong arms felt nice around her, as did his thigh pressed against her own. She inhaled the wonderful scent of his neck like she had the night she was drunk.

‘I have to stop this before I say or do something embarrassing,’ she thought to herself, itching to touch the blond curls at the nape of his neck. So, she forced herself to pull out of his arms and back away a bit. She didn’t say anything as she picked up her backpack, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked with a shy, hopeful smile. It surprised her, as it wasn’t something she was used to seeing on him.

“Yeah,” she said, smiling back.

“I can drive you to school still. Just because Xander won’t talk to me doesn’t mean you and I can’t hang out.”

“Yeah, I guess,” she said, a bit hesitantly. She was worried about what Xander’s reaction would be.

“So, I’ll see you in the morning, kitten?”

“Bright and early,” she said with fake cheer and enthusiasm as she opened the car door.

“Oh, and luv?” he said, making her pause. “Please don’t say anything to him.”

“Okay,” she agreed, not inquiring what he meant, but understanding why he asked. She got out of the car and closed the door behind her. Walking to the front door, she turned and gave him one last wave as he drove away.

Going into the house, she was fully prepared to end this feud with Xander and was hoping that he would be receptive to it. After her conversation with Will, she was more than ready to reconcile.

“Where have you been?” She heard his voice coming from the living room as she walked in the door. He sounded annoyed.

‘This doesn’t bode well,’ she thought.

“I stayed after school,” she said, trying to sound pleasant.

“And Will just happened to drive you home?” he asked.

Buffy assumed he had seen the car pull up. She tried to stay calm and not lose her temper, as she was often wont to do.

“I can’t be friends with him?” she asked, trying at innocent.

“I thought you were on my side?” he asked, voice dripping with disdain as he imitated her words from the previous day.

“Well, I was, but that didn’t seem to be good enough for you,” she said through clenched teeth. ‘Keep it in check, Buffy,’ she told herself, feeling her anger rise.

He ignored that comment. “You guys have a good time talking about me?” he asked.

“What makes you think we were talking about you?” she asked. ‘Even though we were,’ she added in her head. “The world doesn’t revolve around you, Xander.”

“Fine. Whatever, Buffy. You have a good time being Will’s new best friend,” he said with annoyance, making Buffy lose it.

“You know what? I will. And we won’t waste even a second talking about you, cause you’re not worth it,” she said angrily. She instantly regretted saying that to him, briefly seeing the hurt look in his eyes before he masked it with anger.

“Xan, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that,” she said quietly.

“Sure you didn’t,” he said sarcastically.

“Xander, I didn’t. Really, I didn’t. You’re just making this so difficult,” she said, feeling tears coming on again.

He didn’t respond, and before Buffy could say anything else she heard the sound of the garage door opening, signaling their mother’s return home. She decided to go upstairs, not wanting to have to explain why she was crying.

**

Buffy didn’t say a word to Xander the next morning when she came down for breakfast. She simply grabbed a Nutrigrain bar, a banana and her lunch bag and headed out the door. Will was parked in the driveway waiting for her.

“We got into it again after I came in last night,” she said, getting into the car.

“Who instigated, you or him?” he asked with a frown.

“Well, he started acting like a jerk and I kind of lost it,” she explained. “Said some things I kind of wish I hadn’t.”

“I think it’s best just to let him be, pet. He’ll have to figure out things on his own, I suppose. We can be there for him when he’s ready.”

“That’s really big of you, Will,” she said with sincerity. “Not many people would stick by someone who’s shut them out like that. I mean, I’m having a really hard time with it myself and I’m his sister; I have to be here. You can move on if you want.”

“Buffy, we may not be related by blood, but Xander is my brother. He’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to family. I know he’s too bloody stubborn for his own good, but I’ll be here when he’s ready.”

“You’re a really good person,” she told him.

“Obviously,” he joked, starting to back the car out of the driveway.

“No, really,” she said, smiling softly. “You are.”

“Thanks pet,” he said, glancing at her with a smile.

“So you’re starting at the gallery today, right?” she asked, changing the subject.

“Yeah, I’m headed over after school,” he informed her. “You wanna tag along? I’m sure your mum won’t mind.”

“I dunno-“ she started.

“Do you really wanna take the bus home?” he asked, trying to convince her.

“Fine, I’ll come.”

**

Buffy accompanied Will to the gallery that afternoon like she has said she would and a week later it had turned into a routine.

Will and Joyce had worked out a schedule so that he would be at the gallery on Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons and part of the day on Saturday. Buffy would go with him most days and sit in her mother’s office doing homework while Will hung work and unpacked boxes. Her mother was often out at meetings with artists or dealers, so Will was often left to manage the gallery on his own.

Buffy spent the time that she wasn’t working just looking at Will. She loved watching him talk to customers who came into the gallery. His face would light up as he discussed the work with them, waving his arms excitedly as they talked about a specific piece. She could tell he was enjoying doing the job immensely, although he told her often. She would sometimes just listen to him talk about art, not really understanding what he was saying, but enjoying the sound of his voice nonetheless.

Another thing she loved to watch him do was lift boxes. This had less to do with his happiness and more to do with her hormones. Every time a new shipment came in, Buffy made sure to get a good viewing spot so she could watch him carry heavy boxes and unpack sculptures and paintings from them. He always wore tight jeans and one of his many band t-shirts, but he always looked gorgeous. One time he wore a wife beater shirt and she got to ogle his muscular arms and chest, making her feel extra pervy.

The days that he didn’t work, he would spend after school working on his portfolio. They both soon found that they got little work done when they were together, as they would usually end up talking instead if working. So, Buffy started spending time in the library after school with Willow, who always motivated her to work harder. Will would drive both her and Willow home at the end of the day. She decided that spending more time at school was better than being home and walking on eggshells around Xander, which she did enough as it was.

***

Buffy had confided in Willow about everything Will related, including his sexuality. She felt a little bit bad, as she wasn’t sure he wanted her to tell anyone. However, she trusted Willow not to tell anyone else and she needed a girl friend to talk about her boy troubles with.

“What ever happened with the whole Riley thing?” Willow asked her one day, as they sat in the empty library.

“Nothing, really,” Buffy replied. “I asked him to leave me alone and he did,” she said. The thing with Riley had happened almost two weeks ago and she had barley seen him since. Frankly, her pride was a little hurt that he hadn’t tried to talk to her again. ‘Does he not like me enough? Not that I actually want to talk to him,’ she thought. She knew it was an irrational thing to think about, especially since she didn’t see her relationship with Riley going anywhere.

“Well he’s a big jerk face anyway,” Willow reasoned. “You’re better off without him.”

“I know,” she said. “It’s just that not having another guy to focus on makes me think about Will even more. And being around him all the time doesn’t help either.”

“The bisexual thing didn’t turn you off?” Willow asked.

“At first I thought it might, but it hasn’t in the least,” Buffy admitted. “I mean, I’ve thought about it a lot. But, the way I see it, what’s the big deal, really? I know a lot of women fear their men leaving them for another man, but he could just as easily leave for another woman. So does it really matter?”

“I guess not,” Willow conceded. “I don’t think I would care either,” she decided. “I was just curious if you did.”

“Nope, as hopeless as ever,” Buffy sighed, resting her chin on her hand. “I just wish he wasn’t so…amazing,” she said with a frown. “It would make everything so much easier.”

“Will, can I ask you something?”

It was lunchtime and Buffy and Will were in the art room. She had taken to eating her lunch there in an effort to spend even more time with Will and also avoid the cafeteria altogether. He was currently working on an abstract painting, which Mrs. Cobb had suggested he do in an effort to show colleges his versatility as an artist.

“Anything, pet,” he said as he continued to paint.

“How did you know…that you were bisexual?” she asked. It was something she had been wondering since he had told her the week before, but hadn’t found a good time to ask yet. She was becoming much less shy about asking him things. ‘He’s been so open about everything so far,” she thought. ‘He makes it so easy to understand him, unlike Xander.’

He stilled his brush and looked at her. “I dunno, luv. I just kind of figured it out, I guess.”

“So nothing like… happened, to make you realize it?” she continued.

“Well…” he said hesitantly.

“Oh,” was all she said.

“I don’t know if you really wanna hear about this,” he told her. She thought about it for a moment and her curiosity outweighed her fear of what he would say.

“Tell me,” she decided. “I can take it.”

“Ok, then,” he said. “Here’s the thing, luv. I guess I’ve always been pretty open-minded when it comes to sexuality. So, when presented with the opportunity to try things with others guys…I did.”

“And you liked it?”

“Well…yeah,” he said. When she didn’t respond immediately, he continued, “C’mon, kitten, I know you have more questions.” He smirked at her.

She smiled back at him and began again. “What about girls?” she asked.

“Well, I’ve always been attracted to girls,” he said with a flirty grin.

“Are you sure?” she asked, giving him a teasing smile.

“Absolutely,” he said with complete confidence.

“Have you done…things with girls too?”

“Yeah.”

“Dru?” she asked, remembering his short-lived relationship from the previous year.

“Yeah, and others.”

Buffy grew increasing jealous, but still wanted to know more. “When did you find time for this? Weren’t you and Xander attached at the hip before?”

“I did things without Xander,” he said, receiving a skeptical eyebrow raise from Buffy.

“Yeah? Like what?” she asked, not believing him.

“I like going to the Bronze and Xander hates it, so sometimes I go alone.”

The Bronze was a local under twenty-one club, which she knew Xander hated. She had always wanted to go, but Joyce had told her she couldn’t until she was sixteen. Thus, with her sixteenth birthday coming up, she was looking forward to her first time there, hopefully with Will.

“And you picked up people?” she asked.

“Not picked up! That makes it sound so…dirty.”

“Ok then, what would you call it?”

“I dunno…hooking up?”

“That’s worse,” she said, nose wrinkled.

“Regardless, it wasn’t like that.”

“What was it like, then?”

“Nothing major. Just kissing and…some other stuff,” he said, looking away.

“So you’ve never actually had sex with a man?” she asked, confused.

“Not the way you’re thinking,” he said. She knew exactly what he was implying and didn’t press further on that topic.

“Woman?” she asked, certainly expecting a yes to that one.

“Nope,” he admitted.

“So you’re a virgin?” she asked, smiling shyly.

“I guess so…yeah,” he said, a bit bashfully. Buffy still wasn’t used to seeing this side of Will, as he was usually so confident. Yet, she found shy William absolutely adorable.

Frankly, she was surprised. Will had always acted so experienced when it came to sex, that she would never have thought he’d still be a virgin. Did this new found information change anything? ‘Maybe,’ she thought. In many ways, it was a relief to know that he was a virgin. It certainly made him less intimidating. It also gave her fewer people to be jealous of.

“Why?” she asked suddenly.

“Why what?” He looked at her, confused.

“Why are you still a virgin?”

“Why are you?” he retorted, a bit annoyed.

“It’s just…it seems like you’ve had plenty of opportunity to do it. So why not?”

“Maybe I don’t believe in sex without commitment, luv,” he suggested.

“I thought guys didn’t care about that stuff.”

“Maybe I’m not most guys.”

“Don’t start with the cryptic answers again.” She shot him an annoyed look.

“Fine. I guess…I just don’t like the idea of a one night stand.”

“Who says they had to be one night stands? You could have asked someone out,” she reasoned.

“I dunno, I guess I just didn’t feel that way about any of them. I was just trying something out.”

“What about Dru?”

“Dru was crazy.”

“Crazy how?” she asked, confused.

“Like bloody clinically insane. I was lucky to get out of that relationship when I did.”

She smiled. “So you’re a bisexual virgin?” she asked, secretly satisfied about this.

“Technically, yes,” he said. “And you’re a heterosexual virgin,” he teased.

“Yes,” she replied, blushing.

“Are you okay with my asking all this stuff?” she asked, wanting to reassure herself.

“I’m an open book, luv” he said, spreading his arms out. “I wear my heart on my sleeve, always have. Don’t really see the point in hiding who I am.”

“So it’s okay for us to talk about stuff like this?”

“Actually, it’s bloody fantastic to have someone to talk to. Like I said that day, you don’t judge me. I love that about you,” he said, smiling.

Buffy felt herself warm all over. Will had just used the words love and you in the same sentence. Albeit, it wasn’t the way she fantasized about, but it was wonderful to hear nonetheless.

“I want to paint you,” he said suddenly. It was a weird and spontaneous change of topic, but so very Will.

“What?”

“I want to paint you,” he repeated.

“Like, for real?”

“Of course, for real. You’d make a lovely painting.”

‘Why does he always have to make me blush?’ she thought. ‘It’s not fair.’

“You’ll be clothed, of course,” he joked. “Won’t be a Titanic situation.”

“It had better not be!” she exclaimed. The idea of Will seeing her naked was almost unimaginable, as well as extremely embarrassing. She didn’t even want to get on that train of thought.

“Unless of course you want to,” he said, giving her a suggestive smile. “It’s okay, pet. You don’t actually have to do anything different, just stay where you are.” He went and grabbed a small canvas from the supply shelf and brought it to the table. He began to mix paint colors on the small palette he’d been using.

“We’re doing this now?”

“Yes, pet. I am nothing if not spontaneous. Now hold still.”

She had been sitting across from him at the large table with her arms resting on top of it. She had worn a plain blue shirt and her hair was pulled half up. ‘If I had know I was going to be painted today, I would have worn something better,’ she thought as she saw Will put his brush to the canvas that sat atop a small tabletop easel.

She took the opportunity to just watch him. He sat on the edge of his seat with the easel almost an arm’s length away from him. Buffy could just imagine him painting a large canvas, making marks with large sweeping movements. Alas, with the limited means of a public school’s art department, he made do with the eight by ten. His hand moved back and forth between the canvas and the palette, making quick strokes. She looked intently at his face. His eyes were focused on the canvas, every so often glancing up at her, biting his lip in concentration. He was beautiful to watch and if Buffy possessed any kind of artistic ability, she would probably want to paint him too. She was so entranced that she didn’t notice him stop.

“Buffy.” His saying her name pulled her out of her reverie.

“Hmm? You’re done already?”

“I was in the moment, had to finish it,” he explained, beckoning to her with his finger. She got up and came around to see what he had done and she was very aware of his presence behind her.

The painting was so small that her face was no larger than he palm of her hand. The strokes were immediate and visible, with soft colors blending into one another. It had both calm and energy at the same time, much like Will did. He had painted most of it fast, but had clearly taken some time to describe her face. It was a very close, if not perfect likeness.

“It’s small and delicate, just like you,” he said softly from behind her.

Buffy turned to look at him, gazing up into his blue eyes. She was at a loss for words at the moment. This was so different from the drawings he had mad of her for Christmas. Those were from pictures, a time that he hadn’t been a part of. With this, she felt like they had experienced something together, and she supposed they had.

She had never wanted to kiss him more than she did in that moment.

She didn’t dare.

Buffy knew that Xander had been taking the bus home. So, she found it odd that he was nowhere to be seen when she got on with Willow that afternoon. Will was spending some time photographing his work for his portfolio with Mrs. Cobb. Buffy decided that she would go home after school, not wanting to see Will flirt with Mrs. Cobb. Besides, she and Willow had a science project to work on, which required some household materials.

“Xander must have left school early,” Buffy said to Willow as they took a seat together. The bus was loud and crowded, making her remember why she hated it so much.

“Who would he have gone with?” Willow asked.

“I have no idea,” Buffy said. “I hope everything’s okay.” She became more concerned as she ran through various scenarios in her head. She had to force herself to stop thinking about it as they neared home. As the bus pulled up in front of her house, she saw an unfamiliar blue sedan in the driveway.

“Whose car is that?” Willow asked her as they walked up the driveway.

“I have no idea,” she said.

“Maybe Xander has a new friend?” Willow suggested.

“Maybe,” Buffy said dismissively, opening the front door, which had been left unlocked. She and Willow walked into the house. Turning to look into the living room for Xander, they were met with shocking sight.

There on the couch was Xander, with what appeared to be a small brunette girl straddling his lap. They were kissing, although kissing was probably too tame a word for what they were doing. They seemed to be trying to suck each other’s lips off and the sight of them made Buffy feel a bit sick. This something she had never thought she would see, or ever wanted to for that matter.

“Oh my god!” Buffy exclaimed, eyes wide and unable to look away. Willow just made a small squeaking sound.

Hearing Buffy, Xander immediately pushed the girl off of him and she fell unceremoniously onto the floor with a loud “Ow!”

“Buffy!” he said, surprised. “You weren’t supposed to be home until later.” He wore an expression of both embarrassment and annoyance as he stood up. Buffy said nothing, still in too much shock to do so.

The girl managed to pick herself up off the ground, with no help from Xander. She looked back and forth from Buffy to Xander, hands on her hips.

“Xander! Aren’t you going to introduce me?” she asked loudly, pulling Buffy and Xander out of their staring contest.

“Um, Anya this is my sister Buffy and her friend Willow,” he said. “This is Anya…my girlfriend.” He watched Buffy with a cautious expression, as if waiting for her to explode.

“Girlfriend?” she asked evenly, still not believing what was going on.

“Yes, girlfriend.”

“When did this happen?”

Anya answered for him. “Well, I just started at Sunnydale last week, and Xander and I met in the cafeteria my first day. I just thought he was so adorable and so I thought ‘wow, I’d really like to make out with him’ and he looked so sad at his table all alone. So I walked up to him and sat right down and told him he and I were going to be friends, with of course the hope that one day it would be more. And then he asked me out and we’ve been doing this ever since,” she finished with a smile, putting her arm around a sheepish Xander.

“Doing this meaning?” Buffy asked. Under normal circumstances she probably would have found Anya rather amusing; she was a very strange girl. However, these were not normal circumstances.

“Making out on the couch,” Anya said bluntly.

‘Gross,’ Buffy thought, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

“Anya, remember what I said about that,” he said in a warning tone.

“You Californians are so reserved,” she said with an eye roll. “I’m from New York,” she explained, looking at Buffy and Willow, who just nodded in understanding.

“Let’s go to your house,” Xander said, turning to Anya.

“Ok, my parents are working late tonight, so we have the whole place to ourselves,” she replied with a suggestive smile, wrapping her arms around his neck. Buffy thought Anya looked uncomfortable.

“I’ll be back later,” was all Xander said as he and Anya grabbed their things and walked out the front door.

“What the hell just happened?” Buffy said, turning to look at Willow’s blushing face.

“Wow.”

***

“So, you’re telling me he has a girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

“An actual girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure it’s like that?”

“I saw them trying to eat each other’s faces. I’m pretty sure it’s like that.”

It was a few hours later and Will and Buffy sat in the Summers’ kitchen. Buffy and Willow had finished their project and Will had come over after he was done at school. Buffy had immediately told him of what had happened with Xander and Anya earlier.

“Sounds like someone’s got himself a beard,” Will said.

“Are you sure? They were like, really touchy and stuff…and all with the gross smoochies.”

“Believe me, luv, Xander does not like girls,” he said seriously.

“He could be bisexual,” she suggested.

“I don’t think so,” he replied, shaking his head.

“Well, how do you know?”

“Xander has never taken interest in a girl, Buffy. Ever.”

“Okay, but-“

“Let’s say I’m wrong, Buffy. Let’s say he does like girls. Explain all the other things that have happened. And besides, one time, when we were thirteen, I found a DVD in my Da’s closet, called Squirt Queens Five.”

“That’s disgusting,” she said, making a face.

He ignored her and continued. “And I showed it to Xander, cause why not? And he made me turn it off after seeing a pair of tits for a second.

“Maybe he doesn’t like porn,” she reasoned.

“All guys like porn, pet.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. Love it, in fact”

“I so did not need to know that.”

“Hey, you asked. I told.”

“That still doesn’t mean he’s not bisexual,” she argued.

“You’re right, it doesn’t. But, I just really don’t think he is.”

“Well, I disagree,” she said, crossing her arms.

“Can we agree to disagree then?” he asked, holding out his hand.

“Fine,” she agreed, taking his hand and shaking.

“On a lighter note, I’ve gotten my entire portfolio together, finished my applications and written all my essays. Just have to drop everything in the mail.”

“Wow, this is like, for real,” she said with realization.

“Yeah, it’s kind of amazing,” he said with a wistful smile.

“We should celebrate after you mail it,” she said excitedly.

“Well, if I’m not mistaken, someone has a birthday coming up on Friday. So, I think I might have plans at the Bronze that night with her,” he teased.

“Oh, really? I bet she’s really excited about that,” she said playing along.

“She should be, “ he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“But she’s also obligated to have dinner with her parents and brother that night,” she said with a frown.

“Well, then we’ll have to go after,” he said, dropping the charade.

“Do you wanna come to dinner?” she asked hopefully.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? Xander will be there and it might be a bit awkward.”

“Well, you’re my friend and I want you there,” she argued. “Please?” she said, pouting her lip.

“I suppose I can suffer through for you,” he agreed. “Can’t say no to that pout.”

She smiled giddily, satisfied and excited for Friday.

“What about Captain Cardboard?” he asked suddenly.

Buffy frowned at the mention of Riley. “I thought you didn’t want to know about guys I like,” she said.

“So you still like him, then?” He got up from the table and started leaning on the counter, picking up a napkin and doodling on it.

“I didn’t say that. It’s just…I dunno. I don’t think I can forgive him for what happened. He was such a jerk about it.”

“Well, let me know if you want me to kick his ass.”

“He’s like twice your size.”

“Hey, I’m very scrappy. I could kick his bloody ass if I wanted!” He pointed the pen he had been using at her for emphasis.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Just say the word, kitten.”

A moment later, they heard the door open and slam shut. Xander came walking into the kitchen, lipstick smeared all over his lips and chin.

‘Couldn’t he have wiped that off,’ Buffy thought.

“Why is he here?” he asked her, not putting any emotion into his voice.

“Because I want him here,” Buffy said before Will could say anything. Xander didn’t respond and just went to the refrigerator and grabbed a can of soda.

“You ever gonna say anything to me again?” Will asked, hurt evident in his voice.

Xander still didn’t answer and just staring at him, taking a sip of soda and walking out of the room.

“You got something on your face, mate!” Will called after him.

It was the morning of Buffy’s birthday and she was extremely excited. She woke up earlier than she usually did, showered and got ready for school. She tried on five different outfits before she decided on a denim skirt and a green sweater that her mother had always said brought out her eyes.

Joyce was in the kitchen when she came downstairs, bounce in her step. She sat down at the island and her mother placed a plate of French toast in front of her. Joyce always made French toast on her birthday, as it was her favorite breakfast.

“Happy Birthday, sweetie,” Joyce said coming around to give her a hug.

“Thank you, Mom,” Buffy replied, returning the hug.

“How does it feel to be sixteen?” she asked.

“The same so far.” Buffy always hated this question, which adults always seemed to ask. She could almost guarantee her father would ask the same thing later. “I guess I’ll know after you let me go to the Bronze tonight.”

“Oh, I see,” Joyce said with a sigh.

“Please, Mom? You said I could when I turned sixteen and now I am.”

“I know, honey. But-“

“Will is coming with me,” she said, hoping this would convince her mother.

“Well, I guess if Will is going with you. But, I want you home before midnight,” Joyce warned.

“I feel just like Cinderella,” Buffy said with sarcasm.

“Remember we’re having dinner with your father tonight,” Joyce reminded her.

They had always gone out to dinner on Buffy and Xander’s birthdays. It was something they kept up with after the divorce in order to maintain a sense of normalcy, or so Joyce had said. Buffy thought it was just uncomfortable.

“I know,” she said. “I invited Will.”

“Oh,” Joyce said. “That’s fine I guess.”

“What?” Buffy asked, noting her mother’s tone of voice.

“Aren’t he and Xander still on the outs?”

“Well, yeah. But, I want him there. He’s my friend, too,” she said, taking a bite of her breakfast.

“Ok, but Xander wants to bring that Anya.”

“To my birthday dinner?” She was more than a little annoyed by this.

“I don’t see the problem with it, and I already told him he could.”

“Ugh, fine,” she said, not wanting to argue. Buffy was dreading this dinner enough as it was; one more person couldn’t possibly make it worse. She heard a honk from outside, signaling Will’s arrival.

“Gotta go,” she said, hopping off her stool and grabbing her backpack. She kissed Joyce goodbye and took off out the door.

“Happy birthday, Buffy,” Will said with a wide grin as she got into the car. He pulled a flower from behind his back and handed it to her. “For you, milady,” he said gallantly.

“Thank you, kind sir,” she replied with an equally wide smile. “But, please don’t ask me how it feels to be sixteen,” she warned him. “Cause I can tell you right now, it feels exactly the same as fifteen.”

“Wasn’t going to, luv,” he assured her, backing out of the driveway and starting off to school.

Buffy twirled the pink rose between her fingers, feeling color rise in her cheeks. She couldn’t help but wonder if this meant something more. ‘Unlikely,’ she thought.

“Xander is bringing Anya to dinner tonight,” she said with irritation in her voice.

“That’ll be a bloody hoot,” Will replied dryly.

***

At seven o’clock, Buffy peeked through the front curtains and saw Hank Summers pull up in front of the house. He was driving his red, midlife crisis sports car with the top rolled down, even though it was January. He was dressed in a suit, as he had made reservations for them at The Galleria, a fancy restaurant that had a dress code.

Buffy had decided on a short green cocktail dress that she had bought in Tahoe, with this specific event in mind. She spent an hour making herself look as perfect as possible. She had blow-dried her hair straight, done her makeup carefully, making sure to emphasize her eyes, and put on a dab of lavender perfume, which she had read was the best scent to wear in order to entice a man. She decided on a pair of black flats. Will wasn’t very tall, so she didn’t feel like she needed to wear heels with him.

Her father knocked the front door and she opened it, greeting him with a big smile.

“Here’s my little girl,” he said with an even bigger smile. He pulled her into a hug and kissed her on the cheek. “Happy Birthday, sweetie” he said, releasing her and handing her a small box wrapped in a recognizable light blue paper and tied with a white ribbon.

“Daddy, you really shouldn’t have,” she said, looking at the box in her hand.

“Nonsense,” he said with a wave of his hand. “So, how does it feel to be sixteen?” he asked.

‘Not again,’ she thought, but said, “Same as fifteen.”

Joyce came downstairs a moment later, dressed in a knee length black dress.

“Hello, Hank,” she greeted politely.

“Joyce,” he said with a nod of his head.

Buffy always wondered how her parents managed to be so cordial in the presence of one another. They had fought nonstop when they were married. She was grateful for it, though, as it made these dinners slightly less uncomfortable.

“Xander!” Joyce yelled up the stairs. “It’s time to go!”

Xander came bounding down the stairs a few moments later, with Anya following close behind at a more lady like pace. Xander was dressed as formally as he could manage, in black slacks, a wrinkled red button up shirt and a striped tie. Anya had apparently thought she was going to a prom, though her purple dress hit above the knee. Still, it was a shiny satin material, and she had paired it with silver rhinestone heels and a small matching clutch purse. She had styled her hair into some kind of twist thing that Buffy had never figured out how to do. Anya looked really good actually, not that Buffy would acknowledge that.

“Well, who’s this pretty thing?” Hank asked with a proud smile and a wink at Xander.

“Dad, this is my girlfriend, Anya,” Xander said, placing his arm around her.

“It’s about time,” Hank said, patting Xander on the back. He held his hand out to Anya and she took it, shaking firmly.

“It’s so nice to meet you,” she said with a big smile.

“What’s a girl like you doing with my son?” Hank joked. Anya just giggled; Xander was not amused.

‘God, Xander does exactly what he wants and he still says shit like that,’ Buffy thought. ‘Xander’s gonna be even more fucked up than he already is.’

“Is Will going to be here soon, Buffy?” Joyce asked.

“He’s meeting us there,” Buffy replied.

“Will’s coming?” Xander asked with distaste in his voice.

Buffy was about to say something when Joyce interrupted with a warning.

“Don’t start,” she said to Xander. “You will be polite and cordial to him on your sister’s birthday. Do you understand me?”

Xander didn’t answer and just opened the door to go to the car. Everyone followed suit, Anya and Xander getting into Joyce’s car. Buffy, to her displeasure, was stuck going with her father.

‘We’re off to a great start,’ she thought.

***

They arrived at the restaurant and Buffy saw Will’s car in the parking lot. As she got out of the car, she started to wonder if he had dressed up. She had never seen Will in formal wear of any kind before, as his entire wardrobe seemed to consist of jeans, t-shirts and leather jackets.

As it turned out, Will’s idea of formal was a pair of non-ripped black jeans, a blue t-shirt and a black blazer over it. ‘Not totally formal,’ Buffy thought. “But still gorgeous.’ He was leaning against a pillar outside of the restaurant, smoking a cigarette. ‘Dad will hate this,’ she thought with pleasure.

“Hello, William,” Joyce greeted him.

“Hello, Joyce, Mr. Summers,” he said, holding his hand out to shake Hank’s after he stomped out his cigarette. Hank took it a bit reluctantly.

“Nice to see you again, William,” Hank said with a strange formality that Buffy wasn’t used to seeing on him.

“Happy Birthday, luv,” he greeted her. She blushed a bit and smiled at him.

Will held the door open and gestured for them all to walk inside, which they did. Hank walked up to the hostess table to confirm the reservation and the rest of them waited.

“You must be Buffy’s boyfriend,” Anya said, stepping forward to shake Will’s hand. “I’m Anya, Xander’s girlfriend.”

“Yeah, I know who you are,” he said, taking her hand. “You didn’t tell her, mate?” he asked, looking at Xander with mirth.

“Tell me what, Xander?” Anya asked Xander, confusion on her face. Xander just looked at her nervously.

Buffy noticed that Will hadn’t corrected Anya about the boyfriend thing, which she wasn’t sure how she felt about. Before Xander could answer, the hostess came forward to lead them to their table. However, Buffy had a feeling that Anya wouldn’t let this go.

As they walked to the table, Buffy took in her surroundings. The Galleria dining room was spacious, with many tables covered in white cloths and way more silverware than she had ever seen. The waiters were all dressed in black and white uniforms and they carried trays of expensive food around to different tables. The entire place was filled, hence why they had needed the reservation. There was even a string quartet playing quiet, classical music in the background.

They were seated at a large round table with exactly six place settings. Buffy sat down first and Will took the seat next to her. Her father sat on her other side, with Xander next to him and Anya next. Joyce took the chair next to Will and Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. She was glad that Will hadn’t been stuck sitting next to anyone who could potentially make him uncomfortable. However, this left him and Xander sitting directly across from each other. Xander shot daggers at him and Will just looked back, amusement in his eyes.

They all looked over their menus quietly. The food was mostly classic American, with a few pretentious specials thrown in for good measure and everything was extremely overpriced.

“Everything’s so expensive,” Will whispered in her hear.

“Just order whatever you want,” she replied quietly. “Dad’s paying, so don’t worry about it.”

Before anyone could start a conversation, their waiter came and took their drink order. After they were done, Hank went off on one of his self-promoting diatribes, as he was wont to do. Anya was the only one who took interest in what he was saying. As it turned out, her parents were both stockbrokers and she had an avid interest in economics and finance. Amidst that conversation, Joyce turned to Will and began talking to him about an upcoming show at the gallery. Buffy found herself sitting there quietly, not involved in either conversation. It was her birthday. She zoned out, watching various people around the restaurant.

“So, Buffy,” she heard her father say, pulling her out of her trance. “Why didn’t you bring that boyfriend of yours?”

‘Of course he would bring this up now,” she thought, annoyed. ‘He couldn’t have asked me that when he was rambling on in the car.’

“Um, we’re kind of not seeing each other anymore,” she said, looking at her lap.

“Why not? Did he do something to you?” Hank asked.

“No, Dad!” she replied. “It just…didn’t work out.”

“Well, he seemed like a good one,” he said, giving Will a sideways glance. “Would have liked to have met him.”

Buffy was fuming on the inside. This was why she always hated these birthday dinners. Her parents were polite to one another, but didn’t make too much conversation, leaving her and Xander to get harassed by Hank all night. Now, with the addition of Will and Anya, it was even more awkward.

The waiter came back with their drinks and salads, then took their dinner orders. The awkward conversations continued as they waited for their food to arrive.

Twenty excruciating minutes later, the waiter arrived with their meals, placing each one in front of them. Buffy dug into her filet mignon, eager to finish this evening. She had to admit though, the food was delicious.

“So Buffy, how long have you and Will been dating?” Anya asked as they were part way through their meals.

“Um, he’s not my boyfriend,” Buffy replied, avoiding looking at Will.

“Oh,” Anya said. “What was it you didn’t tell me, Xander?” she asked, turning to Xander.

“Nothing, Ahn,” he replied. “It’s not a big deal.”

Hank chimed in. “Xander and Will used to be best buddies, isn’t that right boys?”

“Yes sir,” Will replied with a smug grin. Xander said nothing.

“I don’t know what happened,” Hank continued. “But, now they won’t talk anymore.” He turned to Xander. “If you ask me, son, it’s no big loss,” he tried to say quietly.

“Hank!” Joyce scolded.

“I was just joking, Joyce,” Hank replied.

“You’re right, Dad,” Xander spoke up. “It’s no big loss.” He looked right at Will with steely eyes. Will stared right back. Buffy was fed up.

“God Xander!” she exclaimed. “Is it too much to ask for you to be nice to Will on my birthday? I just wanted to have a nice dinner and I wanted my friend to come, but you can’t stop being a jerk for two seconds and let me have a good time!” She felt tears coming on, so she excused herself and got up to go to the bathroom.

The ladies room was a fancy as the rest of the place. It had floral wallpaper and a couch in the front, and what looked like several different options for hand soap and perfumes. She closed herself in a stall, in case anyone came in. Sitting down on the toilet, she let tears fall from her eyes.

‘Why, why, why? “ she thought. ‘I should have known that this would happen.’

After a few minutes of crying, she heard the door open. She quieted her sniffles so whoever it was wouldn’t hear her.

“Buffy?” a male voice called out.

“Will?” she sniffled, recognizing it as him.

“Luv, are you alright?” he asked. He was now standing outside the stall.

“Will, this is the ladies room,” she scolded halfheartedly.

“So, what? I needed to see if you were okay. Come out of there, pet,” he demanded gently.

She opened the door and stepped out. He was standing there with his hands in his pockets, crooked smile on his face. He reached up and wiped a lone tear from her cheek.

“Wanna get out of here?” he asked.

“Absolutely.”

“My birthday’s always suck,” she said as Will’s car zoomed through Sunnydale’s streets.

“Your birthday isn’t over yet, luv. Let’s make it not suck.”

Buffy was filled with an excited anticipation as he parked the DeSoto on the street outside the club. It looked crowded, if the large group of guys waiting outside was any indication. However, the large bouncer let them right inside, giving Will a nod.

“You know the bouncer?” she asked.

“No.”

“But, why’d they let us in when all those guys are waiting.”

“They always let hot girls in, luv,” he explained with a grin.

‘He thinks I’m hot?’ she thought, smiling to herself.

The walked inside and Buffy was in awe. She had seen clubs in movies and on the Jersey Shore, but actually being in one was a surreal experience. The music was blaring, the bass thumping loud and strong. The dance floor was packed with people, mostly girls, gyrating and grinding to the pop song that played.

There was a large bar, crowded with many people, and tables scattered around the outer edges of the club. Most of the bottom floor was made up of dance floor, but at the front of the room, there was a stage. Will had told her the Bronze played host to bands on some nights, which he preferred to the dancing. There was also a staircase leading to an upper balcony that appeared to be a lounge area with couches.

Buffy and Will made their way through the crowd, snagging a table as someone was leaving it.

“Want a drink?” Will asked.

“Diet coke?”

“Sure you don’t want an actual drink?” he said with a sly grin.

“We’re underage,” she replied dryly.

He pulled a small card out of his wallet and held it up to her face. It had a picture of Will on it, but the name read John Alrich, who was apparently twenty-two and from London, England.

“They never question a U.K. I.D.,” he explained.

“Well, I guess you can get me something fruity then,” she suggested.

“Alright, then. One girly drink coming right up.”

She waited at the table while he went up to the bar. She watched him give flirty smiles to the male bartender as he made their drinks. Buffy turned away, feeling a bit of jealousy come on at the sight. She knew Will was just a natural flirt, but it still bothered her. He came back a few minutes later with a pink drink with an umbrella in one hand and a beer in the other.

“Don’t worry, luv, I’m only having one,” he assured her, as he was driving later. “You can have as many as you want, on me.”

She took a sip of her drink, pleased that she couldn’t taste a bit of alcohol in it. In the back of her mind, she remembered her mother warning her about drinks like that. She ignored them, though, and happily sipped her drink.

She had seen a lot of kids from school already, but nobody that she would be forced to talk to, which she was grateful for.

“Omigod, Buffy!” exclaimed a loud female voice from behind her.

‘I totally just jinxed myself,’ she thought. “Hi, Harmony,” she said, turning to her with a fake smile. Harmony had to be the most annoying person on the planet.

“I’ve like never seen you here before!” she said, reaching forward to hug Buffy. She reeked of sweet perfume and alcohol and her large breasts spilled out of the front of her low cut, sparkly top.

“Isn’t this place like so much fun?” Harmony asked, her voice shrill. Harmony was one of those dumb, pretty girls who were totally harmless. She wasn’t actually mean like Cordelia, but people hated her nonetheless. It was mostly due to the fact that she was a major slut.

“Omigod, Will!” Harmony exclaimed a moment later, noticing him next to Buffy. “I haven’t seen you here in like forever!” She gave him what she seemed to think was a sexy smile.

“Been busy,” he said dismissively, taking a sip of his beer.

“Well, you should stop being busy. I miss you,” she said with an exaggerated pout. She walked up to him and tried to wrap her arms around his neck, but he brushed her off.

“It’s Buffy’s birthday today,” he said, trying to distract her.

“Omigod, Happy Birthday Buffy!” she exclaimed, pulling Buffy into another hug. “We should totally hang out more. You’re like, really awesome,” she rambled on. Harmony only said things like this to Buffy when she was drinking, and Buffy had no intention of ever hanging out with her.

“I think Cordelia is looking for you,” Will said to Harmony a moment later.

“She’s here?” Harmony asked, looking around confused. “I didn’t know she was coming.”

“Yeah, I saw her over there,” he said, pointing toward the crowded dance floor.

“Oh, okay,” she said. “I’ll go find her. Bye, sexy.” Harmony gave Will another flirty smile before she disappeared into the crowd.

“Please don’t tell me you hooked up with Harmony?” Buffy asked with distaste in her voice.

“Of course not, pet,” he assured her.

‘Thank god.’

“Not for her lacking of trying, though,” he added teasingly. Buffy was not amused and angrily sipped the last of her drink.

“Are you jealous?” he asked, amused.

“No,” she said stubbornly.

“C’mon, let’s dance,” he said a moment later, grabbing her hand and pulling her onto the dance floor. A club mix of Katy Perry’s Firework was playing and everybody bounced and moved to the music. Buffy felt slightly awkward at first, very conscious of Will’s body behind her. Soon, though, the alcohol began to take effect and she felt more relaxed as Katy Perry transitioned into Nelly Furtado’s Promiscuous Girl, a song that was a few years old, but great to dance to. The slower, sexier beat caused many of the dancers to move closer together, most of them forming couples. She watched as laughing girls grinded on each other and boys grasped girls by the hips and moved behind them. She was waiting eagerly, hoping Will would touch her, but he didn’t.

As she continued to dance, she didn’t turn around to look at him, though she knew he was still there. Then a tall, dark haired guy came up next to her, moving closer and closer. He was cute, but looked to be about twenty or so. He seemed to be waiting for permission to touch her, so she stepped closer to him, hoping her dancing with him would make Will jealous. The guy put his arm around her waist and pulled her flush against him.

As she was about to put her hands on his shoulders, she felt a pair of strong hands at her hips, pulling her backward. She stumbled back against a hard chest, leaning her head back to see Will giving the guy an irritated look.

“Hands off, mate,” he said. The possessive tone of his voice made Buffy shiver a bit. She had never heard him speak like this before, and found that she liked it. Her heart dropped, though, when he continued. “She’s a kid,” he said to the guy.

“A kid?” she asked, turning to him with an annoyed expression. She was angry and moved to go back and dance with the other guy, but he had disappeared. She turned back to Will.

“Buffy, he was way older than you,” he argued in explanation.

“Why do you care?” she asked. They were standing still in the middle of the dance floor; bodies continued to move around them.

“I just-“ he started, then stopped. “C’mon, kitten, I don’t wanna fight right now. Let’s dance.”

She accepted that for now, with all the intention of bringing it up later. Right now, she just wanted to be close to him.

She felt bolder, so she moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He placed his hands on her hips as they began to move together, the music changing to an up-tempo Lady Gaga song. They were close, but not close enough for Buffy. Will held her at a safe distance, not letting their pelvises come in contact.

Between the music, the alcohol and touching Will, Buffy let herself go. She was dancing without a care and having a great time. It couldn’t get any better.

“Want another drink?” Will asked her after a bit, leading her off the dance floor.

“Yes, please,” she agreed with a smile. He went up to the bar, bringing back another pink drink for her and a soda for himself. She sucked the drink down quickly, eager to get back on the dance floor.

“Slow down, pet,” Will warned her. “I don’t wanna have to carry you home.”

“Pssh,” she said, waving him off. “I wanna dance again!”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him back toward he dance floor. As they wove through the crowd, Buffy caught sight of Riley’s tall form moving toward them.

‘Please don’t come over here,’ she thought to herself, hoping to avoid an awkward confrontation.

He looked pointedly at her as he got closer. Then, as he was almost there, he turned suddenly and walked the other way, strange expression on his face. She turned to look back at Will, who just gave her an innocent smile.

“What?” he mouthed. He wore a knowing smile and Buffy assumed he must have given Riley some sort of ‘get the fuck away from her’ look. She smiled at the thought.

“Couldn’t let that wanker ruin your night,” he said into her ear. She could feel his warm breath on her neck as they started to dance again.

***

A few hours later it was nearly midnight and they were in the car, driving home. Buffy had drunk another daiquiri and she was feeling light and loopy. She leaned her head against the headrest, watching Will as he drove. She smiled to herself as she looked at his beautiful face, eyes focused on his lips, which were pursed in concentration.

The night had been amazing. Despite the drama of earlier in the evening, Buffy would definitely consider it her best birthday ever, and all because of Will.

When he pulled into the Summers’ driveway, he turned the engine off and moved to open his door. Buffy put her hand on his arm to stop him and he turned and looked at her.

“Will,” she started. “I had a really good time tonight.”

“I’m glad, kitten. Happy birthday,” he said, taking her hand in his and smiling sweetly.

“I like you,” she said, the words slipping out of her mouth before she could stop them.

“I like you, too,” he replied, smiling.

“No, I really, really like you,” she assured him, sliding closer to him on the bench seat.

“Buffy-“ he started to say.

“No,” she said, placing a finger over his lips to silence him.

Then, she leaned toward him, placed a hand on his shoulder and pressed her lips to his. His lips were soft and warm and perfect and she reveled in the feeling of them caressing hers. It only lasted a few seconds, but she knew she felt him kiss her back, if only for a moment.

“Thank you,” she whispered. Then she pulled back from him and got out of the car. She walked shakily to the front door, turning back to glance at Will, who was still sitting in the driveway. He hadn’t even started his car again.

Buffy entered the house and heard the sound of the television. She peered into the living room and saw that Xander was still awake, lying on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. She made to go upstairs without him noticing, but she had no such luck.

“Buffy?” he said, looking up from the T.V.

“What?” she asked angrily, remembering his behavior at dinner. She swayed a bit on her feet as she moved to climb the stairs, not wanting to talk to him.

“Buffy, I’m sorry,” he said. He turned off the televisions and sat up, looking in her direction.

This made her stop and turn to him. ‘He’s actually apologizing?’ she thought. ‘This is unexpected.’

“Oh, yeah?” she asked, irritation evident in her voice. She wasn’t going to let this go that easily.

“Yes,” he said sincerely. “I am.”

She walked into the living room, crossing her arms and not sitting down. She still needed to hear more from him.

“You almost ruined my birthday,” she said, feeling tears come on at the memory of earlier that night.

“I know,” he said, looking down at his hands. “I hate that I did that to you.”

She was still skeptical. “Do you?” she asked.

“Of course I do,” he said, looking her in the eyes.

She didn’t say anything, just moved slightly and a wave of dizziness overtook her. Xander jumped up as he saw her sway. He grabbed her arm gently, and then helped her to sit down on the couch.

“Are you okay?” he asked, concerned.

“I had a few drinks,” she admitted.

“At the Bronze?” he asked, sounding annoyed. “I can’t believe he would let you-“

“Don’t,” she interrupted him, placing her hand on her forehead. “Please, don’t. This isn’t about him right now.”

“I know,” he said quietly. “I shouldn’t have let what happened between me and Will affect us. I just…” He stopped, looking away from her.

“Just what?” she asked, waiting for him to continue.

“It’s complicated.”

“It’s really not.” This was not the answer she wanted from him. She was tired of him being angry and elusive about everything and she wanted her brother back.

“I can’t just be friends with him again,” he said, not giving her an explanation for why.

“Why not?” she asked with genuine confusion. “And don’t say it’s complicated again.”

“Too much has happened. I’m still…angry,” he decided, looking away pensively.

“At who?” she wondered. He didn’t answer and she watched him as he seemed to wrestle with something in his mind.

“I’m not gay, Buffy,” he said after a moment. It seemed out of the blue, but Buffy assumed it had stemmed from something he had been thinking.

“I didn’t say you were.”

“I know. But, I just want you to know that.”

“Are you trying to convince me… or yourself?” she asked.

She could see his jaw clench in irritation. If she were sober, she wouldn’t have pushed it, for fear of an outburst. However, she wasn’t and she did.

“Xander, it’s okay if you are. I support you no matter what,” she said, trying to read his face. “You don’t need to hide it.” His face still wore a hardened expression.

“I’m not gay, Buffy,” he said again, a bit more forcefully.

“Okay,” she said, accepting it for now. She got up slowly, trying not to stumble. “I’m going to bed,” she told him, walking toward the stairs. She stopped at the bottom step and turned to him. “I’m here if you want to talk,” she said, then turned to climb the stairs, not waiting for an answer from him.

**

Xander was considerably more cordial to Buffy after that night. They weren’t nearly as close as they had been, but he didn’t seem angry anymore, at least not at her. She didn’t know whether it was because he didn’t want her to say anything or because he was genuinely sorry for being an asshole. In any case, he was much more pleasant toward her. He was less of a jerk to Will as well; on the few run-ins they’d had over the past few weeks, he didn’t take time to give Will a dirty look like he usually did. However, she still rarely saw him, as he was spending even more time with Anya.

Buffy’s situation with Will was an entirely different story. She had expected that after she kissed him that night, something would happen. She didn’t know what, but had at least expected the event to be acknowledged by him. It hadn’t though.

Everything had gone back to normal and they were still hanging out all the time. However, it was almost three weeks later and Will hadn’t brought up the kiss at all. When she saw him the next day he acted like nothing had happened. They had gone to the gallery as usual and she had hung out while he worked. That’s all, no mention of it.

Buffy hadn’t brought it up either. She had racked her brain about it over and over, thinking up different reasons for why he hadn’t said anything. Most of them ended with him not feeling the same way and not wanting to hurt her feelings. She was too afraid of rejection, so she hadn’t said anything, but felt a weird tension around him that hadn’t existed before.

“Here are the three scenarios I’ve decided on,” Buffy started.

Buffy had recapped the whole event to Willow the Monday after her birthday and they had spent countless hours discussing it ever since. They sat in homeroom on a mid-February morning and Buffy was relaying her new conclusions to Willow, who was listening with rapt attention.

“First scenario, he thinks I only did it because I was drunk and that I probably forgot about it. Second scenario, I made it up in my head. Or third scenario, and most likely, is that he doesn’t feel the same way and doesn’t want to hurt my feelings, so he won’t talk about it.” She finished with a breath and looked to Willow expectantly.

“You’re life is like a soap opera,” Willow said, eyes wide.

“God, I wish it wasn’t,” Buffy replied, resting her chin on her hand. She had spent so much time obsessing about this.

“Maybe, he’s afraid to have feelings for you, because of Xander,” Willow suggested, trying to cheer her up.

“Yeah, right,” she replied with bitterness.

“ Or, maybe he’s torn between you and-“

Buffy interrupted her. “I appreciate the encouragement, Will, but I really don’t think so. He just doesn’t see me as anything more than a friend slash little sister.”

“Well, if it bothers you so much, then why don’t you just ask him about it. He’s always been honest with you before, there’s no reason he won’t be now.”

“Yeah, I guess…I just don’t know if I can handle the truth right now.”

Normally, Buffy wouldn’t have had a problem asking Will a sensitive question. However, this time it was her heart on the line, and she wasn’t ready to have it broken.

**

It took her another week to gain the courage to even consider asking him. It was late Sunday morning and they were sitting in the same diner that they had been in when she asked him if he and Xander were a couple. It was the same place where she had fallen even more in love with him as she had watched him draw her portrait in sugar.

They had just placed their order and Will was sketching on a napkin with a black pen he always carried around. Buffy sipped her soda quietly, contemplating her predicament and staring around the place at the various patrons. Sunday morning was always the diner’s busiest time and most of the place was filled.

“So, luv, “ he started, looking up from his drawing. “What do you want to do after this? It’s really gorgeous out. Maybe we could go to the park or something?” he suggested, looking at her expectantly.

Under other circumstances, she would have been thrilled to go to the park with him. However, today she was feeling a bit differently toward him. Today she was actually annoyed, almost angry with him. She was sick of him not mentioning their kiss and her frustration had reached a breaking point. She knew it was only a matter of time before she would explode, but she tried to play it cool.

“I dunno,” she said, playing with her straw.

“Pet, what’s wrong?” he asked, looking at her concerned.

“Nothing,” she said. “Why would there be anything wrong?”

“I can read you better than anyone, luv,” he said leaning across the table to look into her eyes. “I know something’s up.” Will had always been able to see through her acts, while everyone else believed the façade.

Before she could answer, the waitress came with their breakfast. She placed Buffy’s French toast on the table and Buffy immediately tore into it, hoping to avoid Will’s questioning. Will began to eat his pancakes, keeping his eyes on Buffy.

“What’s wrong?” he asked again, putting down his utensils on the table.

“Nothing,” she said and kept eating.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, a bit louder this time, placing his hands on the table.

“Nothing,” she said again. “Stop yelling, you’re making a scene.”

“I’ll make a bloody scene if I want to,” he said at the same volume, then softened. “Please Buffy, I hate seeing you upset. Please tell me why you’re acting like I did something wrong.”

“No reason,” she said, continuing to be elusive. ‘See if he likes it,’ she though bitterly.

“I don’t believe you,” he said, frowning. “Tell me, luv, what did I do to upset you?”

“You really don’t know?” she asked, finally fed up with all of it. The truth was going to have to come out now.

“No, I don’t,” he said, shaking his head.

“Fine, I’ll just have to remind you then,” she said angrily.

Then she sat up on her knees, leaned across the table and planted a hard kiss on his lips. She lingered for less than a second, but swiped his bottom lip with her tongue. Then she pulled back slowly and sat back down in her seat across from him, looking at his face expectantly.

Everything about Will looked stunned. His body was still and his hands were gripping the edge of the table. His eyes were focused down, lips slightly open in an expression of surprise. Then he directed his eyes toward her angry face. He looked at her with a strange expression on his face. It was one that she had never seen him wear before and she didn’t know how to identify it.

“Remember that?”

A few moments passed by with Will not saying anything and Buffy began to lose her resolve. Insecurity was creeping up on her and all the things she had been obsessing about were coming back full force. She began to brace herself for a rejection.

Then he smiled.

“I definitely remember that,” he said, tilting his head to the side.

“You do?” she asked in a small voice.

“Fella doesn’t exactly forget getting kissed by a pretty girl.”

“Y-you think I’m pretty?” she asked, distracted from her mission by his words of flattery.

“Beautiful.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” she asked, feeling a mixture of excitement and trepidation at his answer.

“About you being gorgeous? Thought you already knew,” he joked.

“No, I meant…the kiss.”

“Right,” he said, sobering.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” she repeated. Her frustration began to return at his obvious reluctance to answer her question.

“I guess…I just didn’t wanna make a thing of it…” he said, not looking her in the eye. “…I-“

“No, no,” she interrupted, waving her hand. “You don’t have to say it.”

‘This is it,’ she thought. ‘He’s rejecting me.’ She was feeling tears come on and she didn’t want Will to see her cry, so she looked down, avoiding his gaze.

“I’m leaving, Buffy,” he said a moment later.

“What? Now?” she asked, looking around confused.

“No, I mean…I’m leaving Sunnydale,” he said slowly. “I got a call last week…from the Pratt Institute. I got in…and they’re giving me a scholarship.” He smiled a bit at that, keeping his eyes on her.

She didn’t say anything, just looked at him confused.

“It’s in New York,” he explained.

“New York,” she repeated.

“Well, Brooklyn actually…but still.”

“When?”

“Not until the end of the summer.”

“I don’t understand,” she said, trying to take it what he had just told her.

“Don’t understand what?”

“What does that have to do with me kissing you?”

“It means,” he said, pausing, taking a breath. “That I don’t think us getting involved is a good idea.”

“Oh.”

“Because I’m leaving, luv. Not because-“ he started.

“Don’t, I get it-“

“Pleas, kitten, I don’t-“

“Can you just…take me home?” she asked, interrupting him again.

“Buffy…it’s not-“ he started to argue.

“Please, let’s just go,” she said more firmly. She got up from the table, and started to walk out the door. He got up, threw a few bills on the table and followed her out.

Once they got in the car, Buffy closed herself off. She stared out the window, refusing to look at Will and contemplating what had happened in the diner; it was something she still didn’t fully understand. All she knew was that it hurt her more than she could have imagined.

‘Will is leaving Sunnydale. He’s going to New York. I guess I’ve always known it was a possibility. I just didn’t think it would happen so soon. I mean, what did I expect? That he stay in Sunnydale forever?” she thought. “I know it’s a big deal, but he’s just using the leaving thing as an excuse. He doesn’t feel for me the way I do for him.’

They rode in silence all the way back to her house. As the car came to a stop in the driveway, Buffy moved to get out, but Will stopped her.

“Buffy, wait,” he said, putting a hand on her arm. “Am I gonna see you tomorrow?”

“I don’t know,” she replied, not turning back to look at him.

“Why not?” he asked, confused. “We’re still friends, right?”

“Why should we be friends?” she asked, turning back to look at him. “If you’re just going to leave and never come back. Why should we even bother hanging out anymore?” she said, becoming angrier.

“Buffy, you’re being childish,” he replied.

It was immature, she knew, but that didn’t stop her from continuing.

“Why not? I am a kid after all. Isn’t that what you said at the Bronze that night?”

“No! Well, yes, but…that’s not what I meant,” he said, trying to excuse himself.

“What did you mean then?” she asked, crossing her arms.

“I just…didn’t like that wanker…touching you like that,” he said softly, looking her in the eyes.

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Saying things like that! You acted all possessive about that guy and Riley! You tell me you think I’m beautiful and amazing! You paint pictures of me…a-and you look at me like… like that,” she said, pointing at his face. “You can’t do things like that and expect me not to…” she trailed off, feeling tears in her eyes.

“To what?”

She wanted to say ‘fall in love with you,’ but instead went with something less revealing.

“Have feelings for you.”

“Oh,” was all he said.

“You can’t tell me you didn’t know,” she said, a tear rolling down her cheek. “I told you that night in the car. I kissed you…twice for God’s sake!” She was becoming more hysterical and felt more tears fall.

“Buffy, I-“

“Let me finish!” she demanded through her tears. “I know you don’t feel the same about me, Will. But, please don’t use you leaving as an excuse.”

“I’m not,” he said sincerely.

“How do you feel about me, then?” she asked, waiting with baited breath as he seemed to think about his answer.

“I don’t know,” he finally said.

“What is that supposed to mean?” she asked. This was an evasive answer and she was not happy about it.

“Buffy, you threw me for a huge loop the night you kissed me. I guess…I didn’t think we could ever be that way…together, I mean. Don’t get me wrong; I knew you had a…thing for me. But, that’s all I thought it was…a crush…a thing. I never thought you would act on it and I wouldn’t because, well, you were Xander’s little sister.”

“I get it, that’s all I am to you…a sister,” she said resignedly.

“No, you’re not. Not anymore,” he said softly, giving her another one of those looks.

“So…what are you saying?”

“I’m saying…” he said, pausing and taking in a breath. “That I do feel something for you…and it’s not a brotherly thing. It’s just, I don’t know how to…define it, or whatever. The truth is, Buffy…I act like I know what I’m doing all the time, but I really don’t, especially when it comes to real relationships. I know it seems like I’ve got all the answers, but I haven’t got a fucking clue. And when it comes to you, well…I care about you too much…and I don’t ever want to hurt you,” he finished.

“You’re hurting me now,” she said quietly.

“I know…and I never wanted that. But…I just think it’ll be harder if we get into something and then I have to leave…for both of us. I’m going to be on the other side of the country next year and you still have two more years of high school. We can still be friends, luv. I never want to lose you as a friend. I just can’t see it working out…at least not now.”

“Okay,” was all she could think to say. He had given her a lot of things to think about and she needed some time to do so.

“I know that’s not what you want to hear, pet,” he said, reaching his hand up as if to stroke her cheek. Then he seemed to think better of it and took it back. Buffy was having mixed feelings, both wanting him to touch her and knowing it would make this harder. She moved to get out of the car, when his voice stopped her again.

“Are we okay?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” she replied, looking back with a regretful smile. “I think I just need some time to myself.”

“Alright,” he accepted. “When will I see you again?”

“I don’t know,” she said again. “I’ll call you.”

***

Joyce was in the kitchen when she came back inside the house. Sunday was her only day off from the gallery, so she usually spent it at home. She would always cook a nice dinner for them on those nights, making sure they spent some time together as a family. Prior to the fight, Will had often joined them.

“Where’s Will?” Joyce asked, seeing Buffy come in alone. “I thought you two were spending the day together.”

At the mention of Will, Buffy felt more tears come on and she broke down crying. Joyce, seeing her daughter’s distress, came around and gathered Buffy in her arms. Buffy continued to cry as her mother just held her, standing in the middle of the kitchen.

After Buffy’s tears subsided, they had moved into the living room and she was leaning on her mother’s shoulder as Joyce stroked her hair. She had told her mother everything that had happened, from the first kiss to what had just happened in the car.

“I know, sweetie,” Joyce said in a soothing voice. “I know this seems like the end of the world right now, but it’s probably for the best.”

Buffy felt tears come back at her mother’s words, though she knew they were true. She was getting a strong dose of reality and she did not like it one bit. It was almost easier when she loved him from afar, though that had hurt as well. Now that she knew that he might feel the same, but wouldn’t be with her because he was leaving, it was even more painful.

“I know, Mom,” Buffy said shakily. “I just love him so much,” she admitted in a choked whisper.

It was the first time she had said this aloud to anyone. For most of the time she had known Will, her affection for him had been mostly infatuation, a child’s fantasy. However, for the past few months her feelings had grown. As she got to know him better, Will became a reality. Now, she knew it was really love. Buffy was sure that if it wasn’t, then she wouldn’t feel this way.

“Oh, Buffy,” Joyce said, hugging her tight as she began to cry harder.

“What’s the matter?” Xander’s voice came suddenly. He had just come downstairs, still dressed in pajamas, though it was almost noon. He always slept as late as possible on the weekends.

“None of your business, Xander,” Joyce said to him in a soft, but warning tone. Buffy buried her face in her mother’s shoulder, trying to hide her tears from Xander.

“Is Buffy okay?” he asked, concerned.

“She’s fine,” Joyce said. “”Now go eat some breakfast…or lunch for that matter.”

Xander went into the kitchen, reluctantly, though Buffy knew he would probably try and listen anyway.

“Thanks, Mom,” Buffy sniffled, grateful that Xander was gone. She didn’t want to have to explain any of this to him.

“Everything will be okay, honey,” Joyce said.

Buffy wasn’t so sure.

***

“Are you okay?”

Buffy was lying on her bed when she heard a knock her doorframe and then Xander’s voice. She was on her side, facing away from him and hugging her pillow.

“Yeah,” she said quietly. She really didn’t want to talk to Xander about this. He would probably just turn it into a Will bashing session and that wasn’t what she wanted or needed.

“Okay is you curled up and crying on your bed?” he asked with typical Xander sarcasm, coming in and sitting down on the end of her bed.

“I don’t really wanna talk about it,” she said, not turning from her curled position.

“Does it have anything to do with Riley?” he asked.

‘Xander is so clueless,’ she thought. “No,” she replied.

“Then what?”

“You wouldn’t understand,” she replied.

“I might understand,” he suggested, trying to coax it out of her.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

She gave in a bit. “It’s about Will and I don’t want to hear you rant about him for an hour. So, I really don’t want to talk about it with you.”

“Oh,” he said, then didn’t say anything for a few moments. “I know you don’t really care what I have to say, but I know Will pretty well. And though you haven’t told me what this is regarding exactly, but I have an idea.”

“You don’t know anything.”

“Buffy, I know how you feel about him.”

“Is it that obvious?” she asked.

Xander chuckled. “Kind of. Listen Buff, I’m sure you and Will have had plenty of talks about me and he tells you he knows all about me. Well, I know all about him, too. Everyone thinks I’m a moron cause I get shitty grades, but I can read people pretty well, and I’ve known Will a long time. Buffy, Will has no idea what he wants. He doesn’t know if he liked boys or girls or both…or whether he wants to get the hell out of Sunnydale or stay here forever. He talks a good game, but he’s just as confused and lost as the rest of us.”

“He’s going to New York.”

“Oh,” Xander said, sounding surprised and, if Buffy wasn’t mistaken, a bit disappointed.

“Yeah.”

“Buffy, he’s only going to break your heart,” Xander said, getting up from the bed when she didn’t say anything for a few moments. He stopped at the door. “I’m here if you want to talk about it,” he said, then disappeared.

Buffy didn’t know if that conversation was meant to make her feel better, or worse. She supposed that nothing would make her feel better right now, except Will, and she wasn’t going to get him. It seemed that everyone else agreed with him, too. Maybe they really just didn’t belong together.

***

Will respected Buffy’s request for about a week and a half, then it seemed his impatience got the best of him and he accosted her at her locker during school.

“How have you been?” he asked, trying for casual and leaning against the locker next to hers.

“Fine,” she said dismissively. “You?”

“Terrible,” he answered honestly. As much as she hated to think so, it gave her a bit of satisfaction that he was feeling that way. “You didn’t call me,” he said with disappointment.

“Well, maybe you should take a hint,” she said, annoyed. The time away from him had given her time to fully consider her feelings and eventually the sadness had turned into anger. It certainly didn’t help that she had Xander feeding her negative thoughts about Will at every chance he got. Even so, she missed him desperately, though she wouldn’t say it to him.

“Are you angry?”

“Duh.”

“But, luv-“ he started.

“Don’t call me that,” she warned, jabbing her finger at him.

“Buffy, I-“

“You made yourself perfectly clear. We can’t be together…and I’m still not ready…” she trailed off.

“What are you saying?”

“I don’t know if we can be friends anymore,” she choked out, looking away from him.

“Why?” he whispered, hurt evident on his face.

“I want to be with you, Will,” she said with honesty, looking him in the face. “But we can’t. You know it and I know it.”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“Either way it’s going to happen. So it might as well be sooner rather than later.”

She left him standing in the middle of the hallway, stunned.

**
Arriving in the library, Buffy finally allowed herself to breathe. Leaving Will there in the hallway had been more difficult that she could have imagined and she let out a choked sob when she sat down next to Willow at their usual table.

Willow had been a force of reassurance for Buffy over the past week. While both Xander and her mother had agreed that not starting anything with Will was best for her, Willow had a difference of opinion.

“Buffy, people make things like this work all the time,” she had said. “I mean, my cousin and her boyfriend stayed together when they went to different colleges and they’re getting married this summer.”

“I guess, but he clearly doesn’t think that can happen. I still think it’s an excuse, though. I think that he knows he’ll never feel that way about me, so he doesn’t even want to try.”

“It seems like he’s just as confused as you are.”

“That’s what Xander said. Although, in a much less encouraging way.”

“If it’s meant to be then you’ll make it work.” Willow was always too chipper for her own good.

“How are you always so positive?” Buffy had asked, shaking her head.

“I read too much fan fiction,” Willow had said with a silly grin, making Buffy laugh for what felt like the first time in ages.

Since then, Buffy had been leaning on Willow more than ever and today would be no different.

“What happened?” Willow asked, concern on her face.

“I just talked to Will,” Buffy explained.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know. I’m angy,” Buffy said. “But, I also just…miss him.”

“What did he say?”

“Well, it seems like he thinks we can still be friends. I told him I didn’t think so.”

“Do you really think that’s true? Maybe you should just give it a shot,” Willow suggested.

“I don’t know if I can take the hurt, Willow. It’s too hard.”

“But, do you really wanna lose him completely?”

“Either way, it’s gonna happen.”

“It doesn’t have to,” Willow said with a hopeful smile.

***

Buffy knew that Will was nothing if not persistent. Yet she was still surprised when he appeared at her locker again the next day.

“Didn’t you hear what I said yesterday,” Buffy said, trying for harsh. She just ended up sounding tired.

“Yes, but I disagree,” he said with resolve.

“It’s not a matter of your opinion, Will.”

“I don’t get a say? I’m part of this too,” he argued.

She slammed her locker shut and turned to him.

“You’re the one who said that everything would end when you went to New York.”

“I know, but I didn’t mean-“

“I understand, Will. I really do,” she said, interrupting him. “God knows, Mom and Xander both think it’s for the best, too.”

“Xander? Your taking advice from Xander now?” he asked with disbelief.

“Well, sort of. He just kind of talks at me and somehow it penetrates my brain,” she admitted, sheepishly.

“He’s trying to make you hate me,” he said solemnly.

“Yeah, well, he doesn’t have to try that hard,” she lied. She didn’t hate him and didn’t think she ever could.

“I’m sorry, Buffy. For everything.”

“Me too,” she said, starting to walk away from him.

“I’m not gonna let this go that easy,” he said, following her.

“Neither am I,” she said, not stopping.

“What’s it gonna take?” he asked.

She stopped and turned to him. “Will, I could give you a thousand reasons why we could make it work. But, I won’t. I’m not going to beg you to be with me. I have too much self-respect for that,” she said.

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He gave her a smile, and then walked off down the hallway, leaving her standing in front of her classroom.

‘This isn’t anywhere near over,’ she thought, watching him walk away.

Will showed up at her locker again the next day and the day after and the day after, though their conversations went much the same way the first two had. He would beg her to be his friend again and she would brush him off, something that was getting more and more difficult to do. His persistence was starting to breach the fortress she was trying to put up. It got her thinking about whether she could handle him not being in her life anymore, though truth be told, she was enjoying him chasing her for once, probably more than she should.

‘Is friendship better than nothing? Well, I guess so. But, can I even handle that? I’m not so sure I can. It’ll be too hard, being so close, but not being able to have him. But, will it really be any different than before? I can handle that, I guess, but for how long?’

Her thoughts had been racing all week and she was looking forward to taking it easy on Friday night. She had made plans to go to the Bronze with Willow and was very much looking forward to getting her mind off of Will. Though, knowing her luck he would probably show up there too. However, Buffy wasn’t sure she’d mind so much if he did.

Since her fallout with Will, Buffy had been riding to and from school with Xander and Anya, much to her initial dismay. The two of them did almost nothing but bicker, and if they weren’t bickering then Anya would be inappropriately affectionate, making Buffy uncomfortable. It often seemed as if Anya’a gestures made Xander uncomfortable as well, though he would never say. Despite it all, though, Buffy came to find that she liked Anya. She was weird, had almost no filter and often said things she shouldn’t, but Buffy found her funny and kind of endearing in a way.

“Come on, Xander! I promise you will have a good time!” Anya and Xander were bickering in the car when Buffy met them after school on Friday afternoon. Anya, ever impatient, drove out of the parking lot the moment Buffy got in the car.

“Ahn, you know how I feel about the Bronze! It’s loud and crowded and I can’t dance.”

“Yeah, but I really wanna go and I can’t show up alone!” she whined.

“You could come with me and Willow?” Buffy suggested. This thing with Xander and Anya didn’t seem like it was ending any time soon, and even if it did, Buffy wouldn’t mind having Anya for a friend.

“Really?” Anya asked, sounding surprised at the invitation.

“Yeah,” Buffy replied. “We’re doing a girls night thing.”

“I do need some girl friends,” Anya said, seeming to consider the offer. “Yes, I will come.”

“Great!” Buffy said with a smile.

“I can drive,” she volunteered.

“Really? That’s great actually, cause Willow and I were gonna ask her Mom for a ride, which would be totally embarrassing.”

“What time should I come over?”

“Well, Willow and I were going to do the girly get ready together thing, so around eight at my house.”

“This is so exciting!” Anya said with a wide smile, making Buffy giggle at her enthusiasm.

“So you’re just gonna ditch me?” Xander asked, sounding annoyed.

“Yes. It’s not like we ever do anything that exciting. I mean, most of the time we just watch television and there’s only so many times I can watch the same episode of Jersey Shore, Xander. Maybe, if we fooled around more-“

“Anya!” Xander exclaimed, not letting her finish her sentence. “Remember what I said about appropriateness?”

This sparked another wave of bickering, so Buffy just sat back and tried to tune it out, instead directing her thoughts to an equally frustrating topic.

**

Anya arrived at the house promptly at eight that evening, followed shortly after by Willow. Buffy could tell that Willow didn’t now what to make of Anya’s straightforward manner and hoped that things wouldn’t get uncomfortable.

“It was very nice of you to invite me, Buffy,” Anya said sincerely as she tried on one of Buffy’s many dresses, looking at herself in the mirror on the closet door. “I’ve never had many girl friends…or any friends for that matter. People often find my honesty off-putting.”

“I wonder why,” Willow said under her breath, earning her a warning look from Buffy. She was sitting on Buffy’s bed, putting some bright blue polish on her toenails.

“Well, as long as I don’t have to hear any gross things about my brother, then we’re happy to have you,” Buffy said, glancing back at Anya in the mirror as she put mascara on her lashes.

“It’s not like there’s anything gross to tell anyway,” Anya said, rolling her eyes.

‘Interesting,’ Buffy thought. If she and Will were still talking, this would be something she would definitely tell him.

“So, what’s the deal with you and Will?” Anya continued, changing the subject. She walked back into Buffy’s closet and picked out another dress.

“There’s no deal,” Buffy replied. “At least not anymore.”

“Well, Xander won’t tell me anything about him. I know they used to be friends and all, but he acts very unusual every time I bring Will up.”

“And that’s often?”

“Well, no, just a few times. What happened exactly? All I know is hat ”

“I don’t know all the specifics, at least not on Xander’s part,” she explained, albeit a bit reluctantly. She wasn’t sure if she should be telling Anya this, especially since Xander had made it a point not to. “He got mad at Will about something that happened over Christmas break. I don’t know exactly why.” Buffy picked out a tube of red lipstick and applied it to her lips. She didn’t think it was her place to tell Anya everything her and Will had talked about regarding the incident.

“Well, Xander can be very touchy,” Anya said.

“Yeah, he can,” Buffy agreed.

“Sometimes I ask him things and he gets all weird about them, not just the Will thing either. He’s very insecure,” Anya added, shaking her head. Buffy was surprised at Anya’s astute observations about Xander.

“I think I’ve underestimated you, Anya,” Buffy said with a smile.

“People often do,” Anya replied. “How do I look?” She stepped out of Buffy’s closet wearing a short dress with a blue and green swirl pattern on it.

“I think we found a winner,” Buffy said. She put on her most comfortable black heels, only a few inches high. “Everyone ready?”

**

The Bronze was packed, as was usual for Friday nights, and the three girls had to push their way through the crowd from the moment they walked in the door. They couldn’t find a table, so they decided to forego the drinks; none of them had a fake I.D. anyway. Buffy glanced around the club, seeing many kids from school, but no Will.

“Oooh, I love this song!” Willow exclaimed excitedly as an Usher club song came on.

They immediately hit the dance floor, the three of them sticking close together in the crowd. As the music played on and songs changed, the three of them kept on dancing. Anya was particularly good at brushing off any unwanted male attention and Buffy was grateful for it. Tonight she just wanted to have a good time and dance, not deal with any grabby boys.

**

After about an hour of dancing, Buffy decided to take a break to relieve herself. She left Willow and Anya dancing while she went to wait in the huge line for the ladies room.

“Fancy seeing you here,” a familiar accented voice came from behind her.

“Of course,” she said, turning around to see Will standing behind her. He leaned casually against the wall and Buffy noticed he was holding a pink drink with an umbrella in his hand. “Are you stalking me?”

“No.”

“And you just decided to come to the Bronze alone and stand by the ladies room sipping a fruity girl beverage?”

“I’m very secure in my masculinity, luv,” he said, making a show out of sipping the drink from a straw.

Buffy didn’t answer and just raised an eyebrow as she moved up in the line.

“Alright, fine,” he conceded, following her. “I might have thought you’d be here and I might have gotten this drink for you. But, that doesn’t mean I’m stalking you.”

“Then what would you call it?” she asked, crossing her arms.

“I…miss you?”

She certainly wasn’t expecting him to say that, and she found it difficult to look at his pouting face and keep her resolve, so she looked away.

“I told you I wouldn’t give up, kitten,” he said a moment later.

“You’re persistent, that’s for sure,” she said with a wry smile.

“Well, I’d rather fight with you than nothing at all,” he confessed. “So, I think I’ll risk you telling me to fuck off if I can still be near you.”

Will’s words made Buffy feel all warm and melty. She hadn’t thought he would miss her as much as she missed him, and the realization gave her mixed feelings. On the one hand, she was pissed that he was making her feel like that. On the other hand, she shared his sentiment; she missed him too.

“Listen, I know you don’t really want to see me, but can we talk this weekend… somewhere else? I have some things I need to say and I don’t really want to do it here.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” she said, though she really wanted to say yes.

“Then can it be my turn to do this?”

Before she could contemplate his question, she was pulled forward and his lips collided with hers, taking her by surprise. This kiss was far more intense that the previous two had been and Buffy was completely overwhelmed by the sensation. His lips moved insistently over hers, trying to coax her into kissing him back. His tongue swept across the seam of her lips and she could taste strawberries and rum as hers darted out quickly. She could feel cold pressed against her upper arm where he held the glass and her at the same time, and little bit of the icy liquid sloshed out and ran down her arm. She put her hands up and grasped at his upper arms for balance, as he pushed her back against the wall behind them and she lost herself in the feelings.

Then she shoved him away.

Buffy came to her senses and she remembered everything that had happened over the last week. Now she was angry.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she asked with outrage.

“I should think it was fairly obvious,” he said with a sheepish smile.

“You can’t just…just do that!” she yelled. “You tell me we can’t be together because you’re leaving and now you suddenly think it’s okay to kiss me! Xander was so right about you!”

At the mention of Xander, he became angry as well. “And what did the mighty Xander have to say?”

“That you have absolutely no idea what you want.”

“Everything okay, Buffy?” Willow’s voice sounded like an angel as Buffy saw her appear behind Will.

“Yeah, I was just coming back to you guys,” Buffy said, pushing past Will and leaving him standing in the line for the ladies room, half empty daiquiri in hand.

When Buffy got home she had six missed calls on her phone, all from Will, as well as several apologetic text messages that she immediately deleted. She wasn’t ready to talk to him yet.

She was lying on her bed and staring at the ceiling, more confused and frustrated than ever.

“What’s he getting at, just kissing me like that out of the blue?” she said to Willow, who was sitting at the end of her bed. Willow had decided to stay over and talk Buffy through her current crisis.

“I don’t know, Buffy,” Willow replied, playing the role of supportive friend.

“I just hate all these mixed signals he’s sending. First, he says we can’t be together. Then he’s all stalky, begging me to be his friend again. Now, he’s just assaulting my lips in the middle of the Bronze,” she said, sitting up to look at Willow.

“Maybe you should talk to him,” Willow suggested.

“I dunno, Willow…”

“I think it’s a good idea. Maybe if you two just talk, without all the avoidiness, then you can work some things out.”

“He did say that he wanted to talk before…well, you know…” Buffy trailed off, remembering the kiss.

“I can tell you miss him, Buffy.”

“I do…I really do,” Buffy admitted. “When he kissed me…I didn’t want it to stop. Rational thought just gets in the way of everything.”

“That gosh darn logic!” Willow joked. “Really, though, you should just talk to him. Maybe he changed his mind?”

“Well, he could change it again and then where does that leave me? Heartbroken, while he runs off to New York and has crazy wild college sex and fun and I’m stuck here in stupid Sunnydale pining over him until I’m a sad, lonely old cat lady.”

“Or you guys could get together, stay together while he’s away, then you can go to college in New York too and you can live happily ever after,” Willow finished with an encouraging smile.

Buffy wanted to believe that everything could go that way, but her negativity got the best of her. “Unlikely,” she said.

“Just talk to him. Maybe he’ll surprise you.”

“Is he paying you to talk him up?” Buffy asked with a skeptical eyebrow.

“No, I’m just a firm believer in unrealistic fairytale delusions. It’s a medical condition.”

Buffy just laughed. Willow’s quirky sense of humor always had a way of making her feel better. The more Buffy thought a lot about what Willow said to her, the more she wanted it to be true. Maybe Will really did want to give things a try. Isn’t that what she wanted? It was, but what if they did and the relationship didn’t work out? Could she handle that?

***

“You know Buffy, even though we had to cut the evening short, I had fun with you and Willow last night,” Anya said.

It was Saturday afternoon and Buffy was sitting in the kitchen with Xander and Anya, having lunch.

“I’m glad,” Buffy said halfheartedly, remembering the events of the night before.

“Why’d you have to cut it short?” Xander asked, his mouth full of a turkey sandwich.

Buffy gave Anya a warning look, which she either didn’t notice or just ignored.

“Will showed up and kissed Buffy,” Anya said bluntly.

Xander almost choked on his food. “What?” he asked after swallowing and taking a drink of water.

“Will was there,” Anya repeated. “He kissed Buffy when she was waiting in line for the bathroom. Then she got upset and we left.”

“He kissed you?” Xander asked, turning to Buffy.

“Kind of,” Buffy said. She had wanted to avoid telling Xander, but thanks to Anya she now couldn’t. ‘I should have told her not to say anything,’ Buffy thought.

“What do you mean kind of?” he asked with narrowed eyes.

“Well, he did…kiss me, that is,” she said nervously.

“Why?”

“Um…I’m not really sure.”

“Is he trying to start something with you?”

“I don’t know,” she said, looking down at her hands. “I’m kind confused about everything.”

“Just stay away from him, Buffy,” Xander said, clearly irritated. “It’s for the best.”

“I know…” she started to say, then stopped with realization. “Wait. You can’t tell me what to do!”

“I’m not trying to tell you what to do, Buff,” he argued back. “I just think it’s best-“

“Maybe if you would tell me what your fallout was about, then I’d understand. What did he do that was so bad?” she asked. ‘Maybe he’ll finally give me a real answer.’

“Buffy, he’s bisexual,” Xander said in a serious and slightly condescending tone. Clearly he thought he was telling her something she didn’t already know.

“I know,” she said, imitating his patronizing manner.

“Wait,” he said, confused. “You do?”

“Yeah, he told me,” she informed him.

“Why would he tell you and not me?” Xander looked a bit hurt, but mostly angry.

“Hmm, I wonder why?” Buffy asked, voice dripping with sarcasm. She got up and left the room, not wanting to listen to Xander spout words of self-denial again.

***
A few nights later she was lying on her bed again, contemplating all of it for what felt like the millionth time, when she heard a tapping noise on her window. She figured it was just the wind or something, so she ignored it. Then she heard it again.

She got up off her bed to go see where the noise was coming from, only to be greeted by the sight of Will standing on the grass in front of the tree outside her window.

‘Damn him for looking so hot,’ she thought. He was wearing a white t-shirt, unusual for him, but certainly not a bad look. He had a short black leather jacket over it and ripped blue jeans, making him look like the bad ass he tried to be but really wasn’t.

She looked down at the plaid pajama pants and non-matching t-shirt she was wearing, feeling a bit inadequate. She ran to her nightstand and grabbed her hairbrush, running it through her hair quickly to make herself a bit more presentable.

He was about to throw another rock when she ran back and opened the window.

“You forgot your boom box,” she called down to him.

“What?” he asked, confused.

“Could you get any more teen movie cliché?” she asked sarcastically.

“It was the only way I could think to see you,” he said. “You wouldn’t answer any of my calls.”

“Can you really blame me?”

“I guess not. But, I figure I still gotta try and see you.”

“What do you want?” she asked, cutting to the chase.

“To talk.”

She considered it for a moment. “If you can climb up here, then we’ll talk,” she said, giving him a playful smile.

The tree outside was close to the house, but difficult to climb, as Buffy had tried and failed to do many times since she was little. So she was shocked when he managed to pull himself up onto the roof, albeit after several failed attempts. He tumbled through the window few moments later, falling onto the floor on his back.

“Gonna make me work for it, aren’t you, luv?” he asked, looking up at her and breathing heavily.

“You bet,” she said sitting down on the bed. He stood up and brushed himself off, moving to sit down next to her. “Did I say you could sit?”

He stopped and stepped back to stand awkwardly by the window. “Alright then,” he said, looking at the floor, embarrassed.

“Well?” she asked expectantly, keeping her façade of icy calm, though she was buzzing inside.

“Um…I had something prepared in my head and now I completely forgot it.” He gave her a sheepish half smile, running his hand through his hair and mussing it in a most pleasing way.

“Summarize.”

“Well…I,” he started nervously. “I’m sorry.”

“I’ve heard that one before,” she said, keeping her poker face.

“I know…” he said, seeming to think about his next words. “I know I fucked everything up, Buffy. I know it and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I kissed you the other night. I know I made everything more confusing and-”

“Why?” she interrupted.

“Why am I sorry?” he asked, confused.

“No, why did you kiss me?” she said, asking the question that had been foremost in her mind for the past few days.

“I-I don’t know,” he said.

“You don’t know?” she asked, masking the hurt she felt with a raised eyebrow.

“No...well, yes, but…that’s not what I meant…it’s not,” he said, trying to find the words.

“Why don’t you say what it is you do mean?”

“Buffy, I kissed you because I wanted to.”

“You wanted to,” she repeated.

“Yeah, I did,” he admitted. “I’m not gonna lie and say I’m not attracted to you, cause I am…I really am. But, I’m sorry about the kiss because I know and you know that it can’t be anything more,” he paused, searching her face, then continued. “For what it’s worth, I’m just as confused about all this as you are. But, who the bloody hell isn’t confused about their life? I have so many things to be confused about. I mean, I’m about to leave everything I know behind and move across the sodding country, without the support of my parents or anything. And worst of all…is that I can’t even talk to my best friend about it,” he finished with a sad smile.

“Will, Xander isn’t-“

“I’m not talking about Xander.”

“Oh,” she said, the realization that he considered her his best friend was a strange notion.

“I need you in my life, Buffy. And I know it’s not the way you want. Bloody hell, it’s not the way I want either. But, I couldn’t bear it if I got to New York and I couldn’t call you and tell you that I miss you.”

“Are you trying to make me feel guilty?” she asked, starting to feel that way.

“Is it working?” he asked with a wry smile.

“A little bit,” she admitted. “I miss you, too.”

“Can we try it then…being friends again?” he asked, hope evident in his voice.

Buffy wanted to say yes, she really did. But, could she be around him all the time and be satisfied with just friendship?

“On one condition,” she said, making a decision.

“What condition?” he asked with narrowed eyes.

“No flirting… a-and no kissing! And no more coming into my bedroom looking all… well, like that!” she said, pointing at him.

He smirked. “That’s more than one, luv.”

“Well, you get the point…and don’t call me luv. Don’t make any of this harder than it has to be.”

“Okay, but same goes for you. No kissing me after you’ve had a few. And no parading around me in your little skirts…or wearing that delicious smelling perfume you always have on,” he said with resolve.

Buffy blushed at his words. She had no idea he had noticed any of those things about her and the knowledge that he did was thrilling. She forced herself to push down that feeling, not wanting to make this more difficult for herself.

“Okay,” she agreed.

“So…are we good then?” he asked, sitting down next to her on the bed. “Or at least better?”

“Yeah,” she said with a shy smile. “I think so.”

Then Will reached his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around his back and returned it, resting her chin in his shoulder. As she was savoring the feeling of his body against hers, she thought of something.

“Will?”

“Yeah, Buffy?”

“Maybe we shouldn’t be doing this,” she said.

“Probably not,” he replied, but didn’t relax his embrace.

“Will,” she said again. ‘We need to stop this now,” she thought.

“Sorry,” he said, this time pulling back from her and letting her out of his arms.

“No more hugging either,” she said.

“There are an awful lot of rules, aren’t there?” he asked with a joking smile.

“Necessary rules!” she reminded him.

“Agreed.”

Buffy glanced at her alarm clock, realizing that it was past eleven, and it was a school night.

“It’s late,” she said regretfully. “You should probably go before Mom or Xander hears us.”

“Alright then,” he said, getting up and moving back toward the window. “Now to get down from here,” he said warily, looking at the ground below.

“You can go out the door, Will,” she said laughing. “I was just making things difficult for you before. You have to be quiet though.”

Luckily, Joyce and Xander were both their bedrooms, and the two of them managed to get downstairs with very little noise made.

“Will I see you tomorrow?” he asked.

“Yeah, but I think I’m still gonna ride in with Xander and Anya. There’s no reason for you to come all the way here if they’re going to school anyway.”

“Yeah, but I wanna see you,” he said with a pout.

“You’ll see me at school,” she said. “Maybe a little distance in our friendship will be a good thing.”

“I’ve had enough distance from you that past few weeks,” he said, frowning.

“Will,” she said in a warning tone.

“Alright, fine,” he agreed. “But, I’m still driving you home.”

“Of course.”

“See you at school then?”

“Yes.”

“Goodnight, Buffy,” he said, opening the door to leave.

“Goodnight, Will,” she replies as he walked outside and down to the street where he had parked his car. Buffy closed the door and locked it before heading back upstairs, wondering whether or not she had just made a big mistake.

It seemed that it was rather easy for Buffy and Will to resume their friendship. By the next week, they were doing the exact same things they had done before; with the exception of morning school rides. Buffy would hang out at the gallery while Will worked or they would spend their afternoons working on homework or hanging out around Sunnydale. It was almost like nothing had changed at all. If only it weren’t so glaringly obvious that it had.

Buffy could feel the tension in everything they did. Now that she knew the attraction was mutual, it was even harder to keep her hands off him and if she wasn’t mistaken, he felt the same way. Often she could swear she saw him move his hand closer to her, then move it away as if he thought better of it. He also seemed very conscious of using pet names with her, often slipping and almost calling her ‘luv,’ then changing it to ‘Buffy’ at the last second. She was extremely wary around him as well. She would either be unconsciously too close or deliberately too far.

It was a Tuesday afternoon and they had decided to change the routine up a bit, which meant they were at the Espresso Pump instead of the diner.

“What’s the difference between a latte and a macchiato?” Buffy asked, looking over the drink menu on the wall as they waited in line to order. The café was buzzing with its typical after school crowd, mostly Sunnydale High students.

“A macchiato costs a dollar more?” Will suggested.

“I don’t understand coffee lingo,” she said, frowning.

“They just like to make it sound fancier, make people think they’re all posh.” They reached the counter and Will stepped up to order. “I’ll have a large black coffee.”

Buffy gave him a pointed look at his blatant Americanization of the coffee menu. “Not a grande?”

“I don’t subscribe to their pretentious coffee jargon,” he explained. “What do you want?” he asked, pulling out his wallet.

“I can get it myself.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, waving her off. “I’ll get it.”

“No, you won’t,” she argued.

Buffy looked to the annoyed female barista at the counter. “I’ll take a venti caramel latte, please. I’m paying separately.”

The barista nodded and moved to make their drinks as the two continued to bicker.

“Just let me pay, Buffy. I’m the one with the job after all.”

“So what? Besides, you paying for my drink is too…” she trailed off, thinking of the word.

“Too what?”

“Coupley,” she decided. “And we agreed that can’t happen, so you’re going to let me pay for my own coffee.”

“Fine,” he said with a huff. “Just trying to be nice.”

A few minutes later the girl came back with their drinks and rang them up separately. She watched as the barista gave Will a smile that was clearly more than just good customer service.

‘Skank,’ Buffy thought. ‘All over him once she hears we’re not a couple.’ She couldn’t help the jealousy she felt every time she saw someone else take interest in him, especially older punkish girls with nose rings and pink hair.

“So you’ve been getting awfully chummy with that Anya bird lately,” Will said after they sat down at a table.

“I’d say more like moderately chummy,” she replied, blowing on her hot drink.

“What’s that about?” he asked after a moment.

“What’s what about?”

“Why are you hanging out with her?”

“I dunno, she’s nice, I guess,” Buffy said with a shrug.

“Nice is not a word I’d use to describe that girl.”

“Okay, maybe not nice exactly. But, she has no other friends.”

“So it’s a pity thing then?” he asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

“No, I like her, I really do. You’d like her too probably. If only you and Xander would just make up already,” she said, trying to hint to him that they should.

“I don’t see that happening anytime soon,” he said, stirring his drink with a coffee stirrer even though there was nothing to mix in.

“Why not? This stupid thing has gone on long enough. Maybe if you make the first move-“

“And say what? I’m sorry that you hate me because I’m comfortable with myself. Sorry, Buffy, but this thing isn’t my fault.”

“So you’re just gonna wait until Xander apologizes to you?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t you miss your best friend?”

“Of course I miss him, but I’ve got you now,” he said with a soft smile.

“So I’m just a replacement?” she half-joked.

“Maybe at first,” he confessed. “But not now…never again.”

She blushed at the softness in his tone and the intensity in his gaze and looked away. This was the kind of thing that they were supposed to avoid. So she changed the subject.

“So, I don’t know how long Anya and Xander’s relationship in going to last,” she said.

“No?” he asked, raising a curious eyebrow.

“Anya has told me a few things that indicate that Xander might not be so into the…physical stuff,” she said, remembering the slips Anya had made the week before.

“Told you,” he said with a smug grin.

“I think she’s gonna figure it out sooner or later.” She truly believed that Anya would, as it seemed she may already be onto him.

“Probably will,” he replied.

“I hope so,” she said, taking a sip of her latte.

“You got a bit of foam, luv,” Will said, gesturing at her mouth.

“Where?” she asked, tongue darting out to lick it away.

“Here,” he said, reaching across the table to help her. He brushed his thumb across her top lip, wiping away the foam, but lingering longer than he needed to.

“Will,” she said in a warning whisper.

“Sorry,” he said, jerking his hand back. He wouldn’t look her in the face after that and stared down into his coffee cup. He then took a small sketchbook and a pen out of his jacket pocket and started to draw.

“Will?” she said, causing him to look up. “This just got weird.”

“I know,” he said. “I shouldn’t have…done that.”

“No, it’s okay. I just meant…you don’t have to act so…awkward about it.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.”

“Sor-…okay.”

“Things might get, you know, awkward, sometimes…but we just have to move past it,” she said, trying for positive.

“So I can feel you up then act like nothing happened,” he joked.

“See, your joking about it. We’re already making progress,” she said happily.

“Who says I’m joking?” he asked in mock seriousness.

“Shut up,” she said, kicking him under the table.

“Watch it,” he said, laughing and lightly kicking her back.

‘At least we can still have fun together,’ she thought.

***

“Why aren’t you dating him again?” a newly blond Anya asked Buffy the next day in school.

Buffy and Anya had gym the same period. They were outside playing a half-hearted game of softball, standing in the outfield and pretending to pay attention. Buffy had been relaying her current Will drama to Anya, who listened with rapt attention.

“Because, we…can’t,” Buffy explained. “He’s leaving to go to art school in New York in August,” she said with a sigh.

“You could just, you know, fool around and stuff. It doesn’t have to be a serious thing,” Anya argued.

“There are too many…feelings,” Buffy replied. “That way only ends in heartache.”

“But, he’s just so…yummy.”

“Tell me about it,” Buffy said with an eye roll.

“Are you sure you can’t handle a casual thing?” Anya asked. “Cause I bet he’s really good at-“

“No,” Buffy said.

“And he’s bisexual, right?”

“Yeah…” Buffy said, not sure what Anya was getting at.

“That means he’s probably be into a Devil’s Three-way,” Anya said excitedly.

“What that?” Buffy asked, confused.

“You know…two guys,” Anya explained. “It’s a major fantasy of mine,” she said, eyes looking distant.

Buffy smirked to herself at the thought, though had trouble picturing herself with a guy that wasn’t Will. ‘Maybe two Wills?’

“What’s up with you and Xander?” Buffy asked, changing the subject. “No gross details, though,” she warned.

“Oh, just the usual,” Anya said casually.

“The usual?”

“You know, we hang out all the time…and it’s nice. I really like Xander. He’s…cute… and so much nicer to me than any guys in New York ever were. But, I don’t know,” she said. “There’s just something….missing.”

“Missing?” Buffy asked, confused.

“Yeah,” Anya said. “Sometimes it’s like he’s not really there. And he gets very cranky when I bring up certain things. Like when I mentioned the Devil’s Three-way thing to him, he got all sputtery and weird.”

“Hmm,” Buffy said. “I wonder why.” She didn’t want to be the one to out Xander to Anya, especially since his sexuality was still unconfirmed. “Maybe you should talk to him about it,” she suggested. “You don’t seem to have a problem with the talking thing.”

“I guess I could,” Anya agreed.

‘Maybe if I can’t get through to him, then Anya can,’ Buffy thought. ‘Probably just wishful thinking.’

It was a warm afternoon in late April and Will and Buffy were sitting in the park. They had less than two months of school left and the end was looming near, at least in Buffy’s mind. Will was leaning back against a tree with his sketchbook on his lap, pencil moving rapidly over the page. Buffy laid on her front on a blanket next to him, reading The Great Gatsby, a requirement for her English class. She was having trouble paying attention to her reading, as she had a sneaking suspicion that he was drawing her. Every so often she would notice his eyes dart up the look at her, then back to the paper. They weren’t speaking, just spending time in each other’s presence. Buffy had learned that Will was only quiet when he was making art; any other time he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

“Will, are you scared?” Buffy asked, breaking their comfortable silence. She looked up from the book she was barely focusing on.

“Of what?” he asked, brow furrowed.

“You know, of going to New York…college and everything.” The fact that he would be leaving at the end of the summer was something that had been weighing on her mind as the school year came to a close.

“Not really,” he said.

“You’re not?”

“I mean, it’ll be strange going to a new place and not knowing anyone. But, it’s a new start, you know. A chance to do something I really love and be around other people who are passionate about the same thing. And New York just seems incredible. The whole art scene is based there, so it’s the best possible place to be. Joyce has been telling me about some of the artists she’s met and a lot of them went to school there,” he said, getting more excited as he spoke about his future.

“It sounds pretty amazing,” Buffy agreed, though inside it pained her to hear him sound so happy about it. ‘He’s leaving, Buffy,’ she told herself. ‘Get used to it.’

“Yeah…I think it will be. Not to mention, I’m pretty much going for free. Student loans should take care of housing and everything else, seeing as my parents won’t be helping me out.”

He put down his sketchbook and lay down on his back on the blanket next to her, putting his hands under his head and closing his eyes. He took a deep breath and she watched his chest rise and fall under his black cotton t-shirt.

“Does it bother you?” she asked hesitantly. “That they won’t help?”

“I’d be lying if I said it didn’t,” he admitted, opening his eyes and looking at her. “You’re lucky, you know?”

“What do you mean?”

“That Joyce is your mother.”

“Yeah,” she said softly. “I know.”

“She’s been more of a mother to me than my own ever has.”

“Well, she thinks of you as one of her own, Will. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, she’s been really good to me. Summers women just can’t resist my charms,” he joked, doing that tongue thing that always made Buffy blush.

“You’re kind of hard to resist,” she said automatically, most definitely blushing.

“So are you,” he replied, smiling softly.

Buffy’s breath caught in her throat at the look he was giving her. It was moments like this that made their relationship more complicated. She didn’t know why they said things like this to each other, but they just seemed to slip out, resulting in longing stares and great tension.

Buffy’s mind wandered over the happenings of the past weeks. She and Will had been in a weird place between friendship and something more. They hadn’t been physical with each other, but there were too many feelings between them for them to be purely platonic friends. She had Xander in one ear, telling her to stay away from him, and her mother, discouraging a relationship, but supporting their friendship. Then there was Anya, telling her to just give in to her urges, and Willow, who’s optimism gave Buffy hope that maybe they could be something more. It was all so confusing.

Will reached a hand up near her face and caressed her cheek in a gentle manner. Buffy closed her eyes, reveling in the sensation, but willing him to stop for fear that this would cross a line. She opened her eyes and looked into his, silently pleading. He removed his hand abruptly and placed it back behind his head, but kept his eyes on her.

“Buffy, I-“ he started.

“Don’t,” she whispered, closing her eyes as she felt tears threaten. “Just leave it.”

He was silent after that and closed his eyes again. Buffy tried to go back to her book, but her eyes were elsewhere. People were all around, strolling with dogs and children. Every so often, someone would look at them and smile knowingly. Anyone who walked by would think that they were young lovers, enjoying each other’s company. It broke Buffy’s heart that it couldn’t be true.

***

“Something is up with Xander and Anya,” Buffy said to Willow in homeroom the next week. Over the past few days, she’d noticed something different about their behavior, and it was majorly weird.

“What do you mean?” Willow asked.

“I mean they’ve been like, way nice to each other, and not in a touchy feely way. They almost never fight anymore.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Well, I can’t say my ears don’t appreciate it, but it’s weird! I mean, usually they bicker over the stupidest things. Now it’s like they’re all happy and stuff,” Buffy said with a pout.

“We wouldn’t want that,” Willow joked.

“I’m serious, Willow. Something is up! The only things I’ve heard them fight about in the past week is the radio station. ”

“Do you think something happened?”

“I have no idea. Anya hasn’t said anything to me.”

“It’s probably nothing. Anya is an oversharer; I’m sure if something was up, you’d hear about it.”

“Yeah, I guess. But I can’t shake the feeling that something is different.”

“You’re over thinking this, Buffy. But, speaking of different, anything new with you and Will?” Willow asked, changing the subject.

“A world of no. Obviously, we still hang out and everything, and most of the time it’s normal. But, sometimes he’ll look at me different or touch me…and then it’s tense and awkward.”

“Like how?”

“I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just uncomfortable. Like yesterday, we were eating lunch and I just catch him staring at me. Then when I ask him why he’s looking at me, he acts like nothing happened.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I have no idea. I shouldn’t have gotten myself in this situation in the first place,” Buffy decided. “If I had never kissed him, then we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“And you’d still be pining over him unrequited,” Willow replied with a sad smile.

“Yeah, life was much simpler when I was just a little girl with a crush,” Buffy said. “Now I just…hurt.”

***

“What is up with you and Xander?” Buffy asked Anya in gym class later that day. She had decided to just go ahead and talk to Anya about it. After all, Anya would probably do the same were it the other way around.

“What do you mean?” Anya asked, brow furrowed.

“What’s with all the nice? There’s been like zero bickering in the past week…it’s weirding me out.”

“Maybe I just decided I don’t like fighting with my boyfriend, ” Anya said, feigning interest in the softball game they were supposed to be playing.

“Lies,” Buffy accused with narrowed eyes.

“It’s nothing,” Anya insisted.

“It’s not nothing. You have something face,” Buffy said, pointing a finger at her.

“I do not.”

“Yes you do. Something is up and you just don’t want to tell me what it is.”

“Nothing is up, Buffy. Xander and I are better than ever,” Anya said with a smile.

“If you insist,” Buffy said, rolling her eyes in disbelief.

“You know, you’re awfully nosy,” Anya accused.

“Me?” Buffy snorted. “You’re one to talk.”

“I just like to stay informed,” Anya replied.

The bell rang a moment later, preventing Buffy from continuing the conversation. Something was different and she was going to find out what it was, no matter how long it took.

***

As it turned out, she didn’t have to wait that long.

When Will dropped her off late that afternoon, Buffy heard Anya’s voice in the kitchen. Before Buffy even heard what they were saying, she could tell that Anya’s voice sounded irritated. They clearly hadn’t heard her come in.

“-knows something’s up,” she heard Anya saying as she reached the kitchen door. She stood outside, eavesdropping.

“You didn’t say anything to her, did you?” Xander asked.

“No, I didn’t. Just like you asked.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“The problem, Xander, is that I am a terrible secret keeper and I don’t know how long I’m going to be able to hold out. What if she asks me again?” Anya’s voice was becoming shriller as she spoke.

“Ahn, please. I’m not ready to tell anyone else yet,” Xander pleaded.

“Why, though?” she asked, sounding exasperated. “Being gay is nothing to be ashamed of.”

‘What?’ Buffy thought to herself, shocked at hearing the words aloud. ‘He’s finally admitting to it?’

“It’s…complicated,” Xander said.

“You’re going to have to tell them eventually,” Anya said.

“I know…and I will. I’m just not ready yet,” he insisted.

“Okay,” she finally agreed.

“Thank you,” Xander said, quietly so Buffy had to strain to hear him. “This really means a lot.”

They were silent after that and Buffy thought they might be hugging or something. She crept quietly toward the stairs and up to her bedroom so they wouldn’t hear her.

‘He came out to Anya?’ she wondered to herself, sitting down on her bed. ‘No wonder things seemed different. I would think that it would cause more tension though, not less. Hmm…maybe the tension and arguing came from the secret keeping. Anya did have an issue with their lack of…intimacy. I guess they get along better as just friends. Anya seems to be good about it…maybe she figured it out on her own?’ Buffy had lots of thoughts running through her head after overhearing the conversation and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. On the one hand, she was upset that Xander felt he couldn’t talk to her. But, then again, she probably hadn’t given him a reason to lately. On the other hand, she was glad that Xander had finally figured himself out. Maybe Anya had played a part in is, and for that Buffy would be grateful to her.

***

The next day, Buffy was able to catch Anya alone in the girl’s locker room.

Before Anya could say anything, Buffy walked up to her and put her arms around her, pulling her into an embrace. Anya stood still at first, and then patted Buffy on the back awkwardly.

“What was that about?” Anya asked warily.

“I know what you’re doing for Xander,” Buffy said, pulling back from the hug.

Anya’s mouth dropped open for a moment, then closed quickly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, turning around to open her gym locker.

“It’s okay, Anya,” Buffy said softly. “We don’t have to talk about it. I’m just….I’m glad you’re there for him.”

Anya didn’t say anything after that, but Buffy was sure she understood.

For the first time in months, Buffy was feeling better about the Xander situation. The knowledge that he had someone to rely on gave her a sense of peace about him. She had a feeling that Anya would be able to talk some sense into him and had faith that he would eventually be able to come out to everyone. She decided not to tell Will, however, as she didn’t feel it was her place and thought that it might hurt him to know that Xander felt more comfortable telling Anya than him. But, all in all, she finally felt as if her brother was on the right track and would be able to be happy with himself in the future. It was all she had ever wanted for him.

While things on the Xander front were better, things with Will were more frustrating than ever. They spent lots of time together, getting along for the most part, like they always had. Early on, their friendship had consisted of light flirting and serious talking, mostly about Xander. These days it had become much more tension filled, with both of them wary of any kind of flirting, and awkwardness when it slipped out. They were quicker to get angry at each other as well, usually over pointless things. Jealousy started to color their relationship as well. Any time they were out somewhere and someone else gave Will so much as a smile, Buffy would fume with jealousy. She could tell that Will felt it too, as anytime other guys talked to her, she could see his jaw clench, something he only did when trying to hold back anger.

As the days got longer and hotter and May turned into June, the tension between them became more apparent and Buffy was all kinds of conflicted. On the one hand, she loved spending time with him, even if they were just talking. However, she couldn’t help but want the relationship to become physical and emotional as well. She felt shaken in both his presence and his absence. When they were together, she was tormented with want for him and often had the thought that it would probably be easier to not be around him. But, when he wasn’t around she missed him so much and anticipated the time when she would see him again.

She was fighting a war within herself and didn’t know how much longer they could go on they way they were. It was becoming almost unbearable.

***

It was June, about two weeks from the end of the school year, and Buffy and Anya were outside during gym class. The heat outside was intense, but the coaches made them go out anyway, in what Buffy could only assume was an act of torture. Most of the girls stood around while they were supposed to be playing soccer, so as not to sweat more than necessary.

“Buffy, you do realize that you two are essentially in a relationship, right?” Anya asked after listening to Buffy complain about Will yet again.

Buffy was surprised at Anya’s question. She and Will were most certainly not in a relationship; that had been made very clear. They were just friends, albeit friends who really wanted to touch each other all the time.

“No, that’s impossible,” she replied with disbelief. “We both decided that we can only be friends…it’s for the best.”

“That seems to be working out rather well,” Anya said sarcastically. Buffy could always count on Anya for derision and frank observations. In fact, it was usually one of the reasons Buffy liked her.

“Yeah, it’s difficult, but…but, we’re managing,” Buffy said, faltering on her words. She knew Anya was right, but it was something she didn’t want to acknowledge out loud.

“You guys can never be just friends,” Anya stated, matter of fact.

“W-why not?” Buffy asked in a small voice. She had the feeling Anya was going to burst the bubble of self-denial that she had been living in.

“Look at it this way,” Anya said, seeming to be preparing Buffy for some sort of logic lesson. “You two spend most of your time together, like all couples do. There are lots and lots of feelings there, and they’re definitely not one sided. And even though you two don’t share those feelings with each other, they’re still there and they aren’t going to just go away. Neither of you date anyone else, or even really take interest in anyone else for that matter. So, it’s just the two of you in this weird half relationship thing.”

Buffy didn’t know how to respond to all the facts that Anya had just spewed at her. Deep down she knew that Anya was right, but she didn’t want to believe it. She just looked away from Anya and closed her eyes, willing it all to go away.

Anya continued after a few moments, taking on a slightly less abrasive tone. “Buffy, you know that no matter what, someone is getting hurt in the end…regardless of whether its an official relationship or not.”

**

“Do you think she’s right?” Buffy asked Willow in English class later that day, having just recapped her conversation with Anya. It had left her with even more to think about, so she decided to talk to Willow about it.

“Well…” Willow started.

“You do, don’t you?” Buffy said, pointing a finger accusingly. “Willow, you’re the one who’s been telling me that everything will work out okay! Why did you say that if you didn’t think it was true?”

“I’m sorry, Buffy,” Willow said apologetically. “I was just trying to support you and make you feel better. At first, I really thought that it could be okay. But now...I just don’t see how this can end with you not being hurt in some way.”

“Well, yeah…it was always going to be difficult when he left, but…”

“I just think that if things are this difficult now, then it’s only going to get worse.”

“I know,” Buffy said, voice cracking. She was feeling tears coming on, but doing her best to keep them at bay.

“Maybe you should get some distance from him,” Willow suggested, trying to be helpful.

“We tried that at first, Willow. It didn’t work.”

“I don’t mean stop altogether. I just mean that maybe you should spend a little less time together.”

“I don’t think that will work…but I don’t know what else to do,” she said, burying her face in her hands.

“Well, what did you think was going to happen?”

“I don’t know. I guess I was just hoping that everything would turn out okay…or that he would change his mind or something,” Buffy said sheepishly.

“You mean not go to New York?” Willow asked.

“I know…it’s awful for me to even want that. He’s so excited about going to school and I really want him to be happy…I just don’t want him to go,” Buffy said sadly.

“I know, Buffy. But, that’s what happens. Life isn’t like those T.V. shows where all the characters go to college in the same town where they grew up. It’s just not realistic.”

“Life is stupid,” Buffy said with a pout as their teacher walked in, ready to start the class. As Mrs. Olsen began to talk about Romantic poetry, Buffy completely zoned out, thinking more about Will and how it could possibly be okay.

**

“Mom, I have something I want to talk to you about,” Xander said the next night at dinner. It was a rare night that Buffy, Joyce and Xander all got to have dinner together, as Joyce was usually home late or Xander was eating at Anya’s house.

‘This is it,’ Buffy thought with eager anticipation. ‘He’s going to tell us.’ She studied Xander’s face, trying to gauge his emotions. He seemed nervous and unsure and she was sure that he was about to come out to them.

“What is it, honey?” Joyce asked as she placed a serving dish on the table and sat down in her usual spot at the head of the table.

“Um…I’m going on a trip,” he said, taking a deep breath.

“Wait, what?” Buffy asked, confused.

“What do you mean a trip?” Joyce asked with a confused frown.

“I need to go…find myself,” he explained. “I’m going to drive around the country and figure some stuff out.”

‘How clichéd,’ Buffy thought to herself.

“And how are you planning to fund this self exploration?” Joyce asked.

“Well…I, uh, have some money saved up from birthdays and stuff,” he said. “And there’s graduation money.”

“You don’t have a car,” Buffy added.

“Well…Dad said he would buy me one…for graduation.”

“Oh, really?” Joyce said with disbelief. “That’s very generous of him,” she said sarcastically. Hank and his money had always been a hot button issue for her. She hated the way he would spoil the kids, especially when he knew very well that she couldn’t afford things like that.

“Are you mad?” he asked.

“Well, I can’t say I’m pleased. But, I suppose I can’t tell you what to do any more. You are eighteen.”

“Mom, I really need to do this,” he said earnestly.

“Okay,” she said resignedly. “I just worry about you. I don’t want you to get into any trouble.”

“I promise I’ll call you twice a day and I won’t be gone longer than a month.”

“A month?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “And where do you plan on going for a month?”

“Um…around the country…not too far.”

Joyce breathed out a sigh, putting a hand on her forehead in a gesture of exasperation.

“Mom, I’ll be fine,” Xander said, trying to reassure her.

“Okay, but after you get back you are getting a job,” she instructed him.

“I will,” he replied. “I just need to…be somewhere else for a little while.”

‘This is an interesting development,’ Buffy thought. She wasn’t sure how she felt about him leaving for a month and didn’t fully understand the motivation behind it. He had already realized he was gay…was there something more to it?

***

It was Friday night and Buffy and Will were watching a movie in Will’s bedroom. Xander and Anya had claimed the Summers’ house early in the evening so they were forced to avoid it. They rarely went to Will’s house, as he didn’t seem to want Buffy around his parents. But, they were out that night and they had the house to themselves. They sat it a comfortable silence during the movie, sitting a safe distance from each other on Will’s bed.

“Xander is going on a trip around the country this summer,” Buffy told him midway through the not so interesting Prince of Persia, which Will had insisted on renting.

“Hmm,” was all he said in reply, not looking away from the television.

“Hmm?” she repeated. “That’s all you have to say?” she asked. Usually, Will had a lot to say about everything, especially when it came to Xander, though they hadn’t talked about him in a while.

“What do you want me to say? Xander doesn’t concern me anymore,” he said, sounding slightly annoyed.

“When did you get so bitter about him?” she asked, furrowing her brow.

“When he decided not to talk to me for six months,” he said, not looking at her. “This movie is shit,” he said, using the remote to turn it off. “You would think an action adventure movie would feature a bit more-“

“Don’t change the subject,” she said. “Why are you mad?”

“Buffy, Xander and I aren’t friends anymore. You know that.”

“I know…but, don’t you still care about him?”

“I don’t know anymore,” he said. “You know, he and I had planned on taking a trip around the country this summer. But, it doesn’t matter now.”

“Of course it still matters,” she argued. “Maybe if you just talk to him-“

“I’m not gonna do that. I’m moving to New York in a few months and I won’t even have to think about him or anything in this bloody stupid town ever again,” he said, picking up a bottle of beer from his night table and taking a swig, leaning back against the headboard of his bed.

“Oh,” she said, feeling the sting of his words. “I see.”

“Buffy, I didn’t mean-“ he started, noticing her hurt expression.

“Why are we even bothering with this then?” she asked, her voice taking on a bitter tone. “If you’re just going to leave and forget about me.”

She moved to the edge of the bed and slipped on her shoes, then got up and started to walk toward the door. She was being immature, she knew, but she couldn’t help the anger that she was feeling at his statement. He was just giving her more reason to end this friendship, something she had been considering more and more lately.

“Buffy, wait,” Will exclaimed from behind her.

As she reached the door, she felt his hand on her shoulder, turning her around to face him. She tried to keep the stony expression on her face, but could feel her lip trembling in an effort not to cry.

“I didn’t mean you,” he said, his blue eyes bearing down on her. “You are the only thing in sodding Sunnyhell that I care about. The only thing.”

He had kept his hand on her shoulder. She was only wearing a thin-strapped tank top and she could feel it burning her. He began to rub his thumb over her bare skin and she shuddered from the feeling. He took a step closer to her, moving his other hand to her upper arm.

“I would never forget about you,” he said, keeping eye contact with her.

Buffy could feel her resolve breaking and felt tears come to her eyes. She closed them to hide the wetness that she was sure he could see, hating that he could make her feel this way.

“Buffy,” she heard him say softly.

She opened her eyes again and his face was just an inch away from hers. She could feel his breath on her face and noticed the scent of alcohol from the beer he had been drinking. He hovered there for a moment, then moved forward to press his lips to hers. She anticipated the move and accepted them eagerly and as much as she knew she should end this, she couldn’t summon the will power to do so.

Will’s soft lips moved over Buffy’s gently at first, gradually increasing the pressure and intensifying the kiss. When his tongue swiped at the seam of her lips she let him in, tangling her tongue with his, tasting beer and something sweet that she couldn’t identify. She felt hot all over and there was no chance of cooling down, not with the way he was holding her as he moved his hands down to wrap around her waist, pulling her tight against him. She was aware of every sensation that came over her and it was entirely overwhelming; she had to move her hands to his shoulders to steady herself.

The thought that maybe they shouldn’t be doing this crossed her mind again briefly. But, she pushed it away and gave in to the sensations she was feeling. Her arms moved up from his shoulders to wrap around his neck, pushing her fingers into his curly hair. He began to walk them backward toward the bed, keeping their lips locked together, only pulling apart to take a quick breath. He sat down on the bed, pulling her down to straddle his lap. Buffy could feel his erection through the fabric of their clothing and unconsciously ground herself against it.

She felt her heart pounding in her chest as she felt Wills hands on the exposed skin of her lower back. The usual butterflies she felt around Will had increased tenfold, as well as the ache between her legs. That sensation was something she had only recently become aware of, especially since she and Will had started their strange non-relationship. Now it was all she could focus on, that and how she could get even closer to him. She pushed him back to lie down on the bed and they broke apart, breathing heavily and staring into each other’s eyes with expressions of lust and confusion.

Apparently, they both decided that lust overruled any doubts they might have and they dove in for more. Tongues tangled and hands began to move more boldly across each other’s bodies. Their hips stayed connected, rubbing against each other for some sort of release. Will started to move his hands upward, caressing her breasts over her shirt. Buffy didn’t know if it was a blessing or a curse that she had foregone a bra that day. It was only when she felt his hand slip under her top that she became aware of what was happening and pulled away.

“What are we doing?” she whispered, still in a lust-filled daze.

She sat up, but didn’t get off of him, not ready to break the contact. Will rose up on his elbows and looked up to her. His lips looked swollen and had a light smearing of the pink lip-gloss she had been wearing.

“If you don’t know, luv, then maybe you aren’t ready to be doing it,” he joked half-heartedly, lacking his usual bravado.

“Stop,” she said, sounding tired. “I thought…we weren’t going to do this.”

“Didn’t plan on it, pet. It kind of just…happened.”

“Wait…are you drunk?” she asked, remembering the beer he had been drinking. To Buffy, the most logical reason behind his kissing her was alcohol. After all, it had played a part in two out of three of their previous kisses.

“No, I’m not drunk,” he protested. “I had half a sodding beer.”

“Why did you kiss me then?” she asked.

“Because I wanted to!” he exclaimed, sitting up.

The move caused her to feel him, still hard, beneath her and she moved off of him quickly, sitting down a few feet away from him on the bed. Will squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his jaw in a gesture of frustration. When he opened his eyes again, he turned to her and stared her boldly in the face.

“I always want to kiss you, Buffy,” he said, voice taking on a desperate intensity. “Do you realize how bloody frustrating these past months have been? To be so close to you and not be able to…” he trailed off, reaching a hand out toward her, then pulling it back.

“Of course I realize it! Don’t you think I feel the same way?” she cried. “I want to kiss you all the time, too,” she confessed quietly.

They looked at each other for a few moments, each waiting for the other to speak.

“Why don’t we just let it happen?” he asked, breaking their staring contest.

“What do you mean?” she replied, confused.

“The kissing, I mean. Why don’t we just…give in?”

“Will…that can’t possibly work,” she said, shaking her head.

“Why not? I want you and you want me. We should just stop denying what we so obviously both need.”

“So, it’s just a sex thing then?” she asked, frowning. ‘That is so not what I need.’

“No, it doesn’t have to be.”

“What would you call it then?” Buffy narrowed her eyes, skeptical of what he was proposing.

“We don’t have to label it,” he said. “We can just…be.”

“And what about when you leave?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

“But, I still don’t understand how-“

“Buffy, I’m tired of pretending I don’t want to be with you,” he said. “I mean, we’re basically two steps away from a relationship as it is, so we might as well-“

“That’s what Anya said,” she said, smiling wryly.

“About what?”

“That we’re basically in a relationship already, and that denying our feelings isn’t going to make the end any easier.”

“Who says it has to end?” he said, looking as if he had just had an epiphany.

“You did!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in frustration. “You’re the one who said it could never work because you’re leaving at the end of the summer.”

“I know, but…people make it work all the time, don’t they?”

“Yeah, I guess. But, long distance relationships crash and burn all the time, too.”

“Yeah, but don’t you want to find out if it’s worth the risk?” he asked, reaching for her hand.

“I don’t know,” she said, moving her hand out of his reach.

“Buffy, any relationship worth having is a risk,” he said pleadingly.

“So now we’re in a relationship?” she asked sarcastically. “I thought we weren’t labeling it.”

“I just meant that…we’ll take it slow,” he explained. “I’m not gonna pressure you into anything. I just want to be with you. We shouldn’t have to pretend we don’t feel anything for each other.”

“I know,” she agreed quietly. “I’m just…afraid.”

“So am I, Buffy. But, we can be afraid together.”

“But, what if it ends?” she asked. She felt the all too familiar feeling of tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, but willed herself not to spill them.

“What if it doesn’t?” he countered. “We could go back and forth about this all night. And there are any number of scenarios where this ends. But, there are also any number where it doesn’t. This friend thing isn’t working…obviously,” he said, looking down at his erection, which hadn’t gone down completely.

“I know it’s not,” she agreed, blushing. “But, do you really think we can do this?”

“I think we can do anything we want,” he said with a soft smile.

Buffy thought about exactly what he was proposing. It was something they had both agreed was a bad idea, but now it had suddenly become a very real possibility and as much as she thought that it couldn’t work, all she wanted to do was just say yes.

“Well,” she started, making up her mind. “I really want to kiss you again. Can we do that?” she asked, with a coy look, moving closer to him on the bed.

“I think we could manage that,” he said, blue eyes lighting up with happiness at her request.

Will pulled Buffy toward him, and they settled onto the bed facing each other. He reached out a hand and brushed her hair out of her face.

“Are we being stupid?” she asked, becoming hesitant again.

“There’s nothing stupid about you and me together,” he replied.

Buffy couldn’t help but smile at his words, which made her feel warm all over. So she decided to make the first move this time, leaning forward to capture his lips with hers. Will hand immediately moved to her waist, but didn’t pull her against him this time. She supposed that he was trying to let her set the pace and not pressure her, but all she wanted to do was feel his body pressed against hers. She moved closer to him until the length of their bodies came into contact. It was an exhilarating feeling, finally being this close to him and not worrying about having to stop. She hoped they weren’t making a big mistake by starting something three months before he left for school. But, when she was wrapped in his arms, tasting him, feeling him, she couldn’t bring herself to care.

**

When Will dropped Buffy off at home, just in time for her curfew, she felt like she was walking on air. She couldn’t get rid of the smile that had permanently fixed itself on her face. She felt as if any moment she would burst out into some cheesy Disney song and twirl around like a little kid. She had never felt this happy before in her life and any doubt she might have had earlier had all but left her. Right now she just wanted to revel in his affection and enjoy it while she could.

She closed the door behind her after she walked inside and immediately peeked out the window so she could watch him drive away, still unable to stop smiling.

“What’s with all the happy?” she heard Xander’s voice come from the living room.

She hadn’t even realized he was there, even though the sound of the T.V. was fairly loud. She turned to walk into the living room where Xander and Anya were parked on opposite ends of the couch. They both looked at her curiously and Buffy supposed her demeanor was more obvious than she had thought.

She didn’t want to explain to Xander about her new relationship status. He would be less than pleased about it. She could only hope that Anya wouldn’t say something observant and embarrassing and give it all away.

“She has an ‘I’m so in love’ smile.” No such luck…but less vulgar than Buffy had anticipated.

“What are you talking about?” she said, trying to play it off as nothing.

“Your smile,” Anya said. “You have the smile of someone who’s in love for the first time, requited of course. Characters in romantic comedies often have that look after they enter the blissful part of the relationship,” she explained.

“Why would Buffy…” Xander started, then widened his eyes with realization. “Please don’t tell me…you and Will?”

“Um…yeah,” she said, deciding it was easier to just tell him now than try to hide it. Her smile had waned for the first time in hours.

“What happened to knowing it was a colossally bad idea?” he asked.

“I dunno, it kind of just happened,” she explained nervously, not looking at him.

“You didn’t sleep with him, did you?” Xander blurted out.

“No, I didn’t,” she said, becoming irritated by his outburst. “But, if I did it wouldn’t be any of your business.”

“Fine,” he said with a huff. “But, don’t come crying to me when he leaves for New York and dumps you for some college girl…or guy for that matter!”

“Why do you have to ruin everything?” Buffy asked, feeling tears come on at his nasty tone.

“Xander,” Anya scolded him, slapping him on the arm. “Why do you have to be such an ass?”

Buffy turned and ran upstairs to her room, not wanting to hear another word from Xander. She heard footsteps behind her, and ran faster, not wanting him to follow her. She locked her door and flopped down on her bed, feeling an array of conflicting emotions. ‘Leave it to Xander to ruin my high.’

“Buffy?” she heard from outside her door with a light knocking.

She was relieved to realize that it was Anya and not Xander. She got up an unlocked the door, letting Anya into her room, then retreating back to her bed.

“Girls are supposed to do this kind of thing, right? Comfort each other when some stupid man wrongs them?” Anya asked in her typical fashion, sitting at the end of Buffy’s bed.

Buffy couldn’t suppress a watery giggle. “Yeah,” she said. “Even when said stupid man is her brother.”

“So you and Will are finally enjoying each other…in a carnal sense?” Anya asked, getting right to the chase.

“Um...yeah, I guess. We haven’t, you know, done it yet. I mean, we just got together tonight.”

“So no more with the denial then?”

“Nope. Denial free. We’re gonna give this a try,” she said, trying to sound enthusiastic, as Xander had crushed most of her happiness from earlier.

“Good,” Anya said resolutely. “Frankly, I was getting sick of all your whining about not being able to be with him.”

“Thanks,” Buffy said sarcastically.

“Well, as long as he makes you happy,” Anya said with an encouraging smile.

“He does,” Buffy said, returning the smile. “He really does.”

It turned out that the only major difference between Buffy and Will as friends and Buffy and Will as a couple was the amount of time they spent making out. Now that they were able to show affection toward each other, life became much simpler, and it seemed they had forgotten about the fact that Will would be leaving for school in a few months. They were in a blissful state, just content to be with each other and not have to hold anything back. One of the first things Buffy wanted to do with him after they started dating was to go out to the park and hold hands. It was a simple thing, but she was so excited to be able to do it.

“Just hold hands?” he asked with a teasing smile, as they walked down the dirt pathway. The weather was hot and sunny and people were all around the park, having picnics, playing Frisbee and enjoying the day.

“Yes,” she insisted. “I just want to show off my gorgeous boyfriend to everyone.”

“I think I like having you as my girlfriend,” he joked, squeezing her hand. “You’re much more free with the flattery. Does wonders for my ego.”

“As if your ego needs inflating. But seriously, we don’t have to hold anything back now,” she said with a bright smile, swinging their clasped hands giddily. “Why do you insist on wearing long jeans when it’s eighty five degrees outside?” she asked, changing the subject.

As she thought back on it, Buffy didn’t think she had ever seen Will wear shorts, at least not since he and Xander had gone to high school and he started bleaching his hair in an effort to be more edgy. Today, he was in his usual attire of ripped blue jeans and a black t-shirt. Buffy was dripping sweat and she was wearing a light floral sundress, so she couldn’t imagine how he felt.

“Because shorts are stupid,” he replied in explanation.

“No, you just don’t want people to see your skinny legs,” she teased.

“That too.”

“Aren’t you all sweaty?”

“Yes, but I refuse to sacrifice my image,” he said.

“God, I can’t even imagine wearing pants today. I’m dripping and all we’re doing is walking,” she whined.

“But, I think you look pretty cute when you’re all sweaty.” He emphasized his point by leaning over and licking a sweat bead from her neck.

“Ew,” she squealed, swatting him away, but not letting go of his hand. She shivered despite the heat at the memory of his tongue on her skin.

Will just laughed and pulled her into his arms, damp skin touching damp skin. She wound her fingers into the wet curls at the nape of his neck as he leaned down to kiss her, standing in the middle of the pathway as people moved around them. She forgot about the heat entirely when she felt the tip of his tongue touch hers.

“You’re even more sweaty now,” he said in a teasing tone after he pulled away.

“I don’t think I mind so much anymore.”

They decided to settle down in the shade of a large tree, where they could sit and people watch. It was also much cooler, which Buffy was extremely grateful for. They sat down next to each other to lean up against the tree, and Will pulled out a small sketchbook and pencil from his back pocket.

“Lie down right there,” he instructed her, pointing to a spot a few feet away from him.

“You wanna draw me now?” she asked, doing what he said and laying down on her back in the grass. The grass was cool from being in the shade and Buffy relished the sensation on her arms and legs.

“I’m gonna fill this book with drawings of you,” he said, starting to sketch. “That way I can always look at your beautiful face, even when I’m across the country.”

Buffy smiled, though the moment was bittersweet. She was warmed by the thought of him keeping a book of drawings of her, but it was just another reminder of how he would be leaving her in a few months, something she didn’t want to have to think about just yet.

Buffy closed her eyes and listened to the sounds around her…dogs barking, children laughing, bicycle horns. Over all of it she could somehow hear the light scratching of Will’s pencil, comforting her and letting her know he was there.

***

“Done,” he said after some time had passed.

“You’re finished already?” With her eyes closed, she hadn’t realized how much time had passed. She sat up and stretched her arms above her head.

“Come here,” he said, patting the spot next to him by the tree.

She moved over to him and cuddled up to his side, resting her head on his shoulder. She grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together. Holding their clasped hand up in front of her, she studied them together. His large hand dwarfed her smaller one, his pale skin contrasted against her tan skin. They didn’t speak as they sat together, enjoying the weather and being close to each other.

This time when an elderly couple walked by and gave them knowing smiles, Buffy just smiled back, feeling no regret.

***

“Jenna Marie Parsons.”

Buffy, Joyce, Hank, and Anya sat in folding chairs on the Sunnydale High School football field as the hot sun beat down on them. The graduation ceremony had been underway for an hour, and Buffy couldn’t wait for it to be over. They had finally arrived at the P’s and she practically bounced in her seat, waiting for Will’s name to be called.

“John Michael Potter.”

She could see him waiting by the edge of the stage, looking handsome as usual in his blue cap and gown. He gave her a smile and a wave when he saw her look his way.

“William Edward Pratt.”

Buffy jumped up and cheered as he walked across the stage, looking far more embarrassed than she had ever seen him. He accepted his diploma and shook Principal Snyder’s hand before he exited the stage.

“Melissa Anne Quincy.”

Now they were left to wait for Xander’s name to be called. Buffy zoned out, watching Will reclaim his seat. He was laughing about something with John Michael Potter, the boy next to him.

“Alyssa Jane Smith.”

Finally they had arrived at the S’s and this ceremony would be over soon. They had already sat through the valedictorian and keynote speeches.

“Matthew Alan Stevenson.”

Xander was up next and they were prepared to thoroughly embarrass him.

“Alexander Lavelle Summers.”

All of them jumped up and cheered and clapped as loud as they could. Hank let out a loud, obnoxious whistle through his fingers. Xander shot them a look of warning, but they didn’t stop. Buffy knew he would do the same were it the other way around.

The rest of the ceremony passed by slowly, but finally it ended with a “Congratulations Class of 2011,” from Principal Snyder. The crowd dispersed around the football field as all the graduates made their way to meet up with their families.

“You guys are the only thing more embarrassing than my middle name,” Xander said as came over to them. He gave hugs to all of them as they all congratulated him.

“I’m so proud of you, sweetie,” Joyce said.

“Well, I did make it through high school,” Xander said.

“Now it’s time for you to find a job,” Hank said in a joking tone, clapping Xander on the back. It was a typical Hank thing to say, but Buffy was grateful that he seemed to have toned down his harassment for the occasion. Xander didn’t need any of that today and he didn’t seem to let his father’s statement get to him.

“Where’s Will?” Anya asked Buffy as Joyce started snapping pictures of Xander in his cap and gown.

“I don’t know,” Buffy said, scanning the crowd for Will’s blond hair.

She spotted him after a few moments, talking to a woman she had only seen in pictures at his house, but knew to be Will’s mother. It was strange to her that they had never met, even though she and Will had been hanging out for months. However, Will did seem to do whatever he could to avoid their meeting, only taking her to his house when his parents weren’t home. She decided now was as good a time as any to meet his mother and she made her way over to them, pushing her way through the crowd.

Will’s mother was small and plump, with dirty blond hair and a kind face, highlighted by a rosy complexion and the same bright blue eyes that Will had. She wore a simple floral dress that was a bit on the matronly side, if Buffy was completely honest. Will noticed her as she neared them, offering her a bright smile. He reached out his hand to her and she took it, coming to his side.

“Mum,” he said, addressing his mother. “This is Buffy Summers, my girlfriend. Buffy, this is my mum, Anne Pratt.” He gestured back and forth between them.

“It’s lovely to meet you, dear,” Anne said jovially, reaching out to shake Buffy’s hand.

Anne had an English accent that was similar to Will’s, albeit stronger, as Buffy had expected. She seemed so nice and good-natured. Buffy couldn’t imagine why Will had kept them from meeting for so long, even knowing what she did about his parents. ‘Maybe it’s just his dad that’s the problem,’ she thought, noticing the absence of his father.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Mrs. Pratt,” Buffy replied with a smile, taking Anne’s hand.

“Call me Anne,” she insisted. “You must be the thing that keeps William out of the house all the time.”

“Guilty,” Buffy said with a laugh. She felt Will squeeze her hand, though she wasn’t sure why he did it.

“William should bring you over for dinner some time,” Anne offered excitedly.

“Oh, Mum, I don’t think Buffy-“

“No, I’d love to,” Buffy said, interrupting him. Will shot her a pained expression that told that he most definitely didn’t want her to have dinner with his parents.

“Wonderful!” Anne said. “How about tonight?”

“We’re having dinner with Buffy’s family tonight,” Will said before Buffy could speak up.

“Oh, well. Maybe tomorrow,” Anne suggested.

“We’ll see, Mum.”

**

“Why were you so weird about your Mom earlier?” Buffy asked later that night when they were finally alone.

The events following the graduation ceremony had been chaotic. They had eaten dinner at the same restaurant they had gone to on Buffy’s birthday. However, this experience was much more pleasant. Hank was good-natured, Anya didn’t say anything embarrassing and Xander and Will didn’t give each other scathing looks, but were just apathetic toward one another. Between that, Will having to spend obligatory time with his mother and Buffy having to do the same with her father, they hadn’t been able to get a moment all day.

It was late in the evening and Buffy and Will were lying under the stars in the backyard, enjoying the warm night air. Buffy had laid out a large blanket and they were cuddled together on it, her head resting on Will’s chest and an arm and leg flung over him.

Will looked down at her when she asked the question. “I dunno,” he said.

“Yes you do.”

“I just…don’t want you to come over for dinner.”

“Why not?”

“Because, my parents….have issues.”

His parents were the only topic that Will had never been open about and she had never pushed him on the subject. She had heard things from her mother, of course, but she didn’t know how much of it was actually true.

“Oh.”

“Buffy, believe me. It’s best if you don’t come over. Why do you think I’ve never brought you over when they’re home?”

“Well, I figured it was something like that. But, I’d like to know why, Will. I want to try and understand.”

“My mum is bipolar.”

That made her lift her head off his chest and she turned over so she could look him in the face. She tried to read his expression, but he kept a façade of stoicism.

“What does that mean exactly?” she asked. She had a mild understanding of what bipolar meant, but wanted to hear him explain it.

“It means that she’s completely unstable.”

“She didn’t seem-“

“You caught her on a good day. If she was having an episode she wouldn’t even have come today,” he said. Buffy could read the sadness on his face as he spoke about his mother. “She takes medication for it…usually.

“Oh.”

“That’s why I never introduced you. When she’s bad, she’s really bad…and I don’t want you around any of that. Xander saw some of it and-“

“You told Xander, but you couldn’t tell me?” she asked, letting the hurt show in her voice. They had become so close, even before they had started dating, and she couldn’t understand why he didn’t share it with her.

“It’s not like that. I just…didn’t want you to have to know-“

“But I want to know, Will.”

“Okay,” he said, smiling sadly, then took a deep breath. “She’s been like that for as long as I can remember, but she’s gotten worse since we moved here. She’ll be all happy and upbeat one moment and angry or crying the next. It’s too much for me to deal with…I don’t know how to help her most of the time so I make myself scarce. Dad winds up dealing with her most of the time…it’s why he drinks.”

“What do your parents do?” she asked, realizing that he had never even mentioned that.

“Well, Mum used to be a nurse, but that stopped when we moved here. Dad’s a computer software salesman. He does pretty well, but he’s out of town a lot. That’s why he wasn’t there today.”

“What’s he like?” she asked, curious about the man that had raised him.

“Angry,” Will said with a bitter tone in his voice. “He never used to be like that, but the drinking makes him just unpleasant to be around most of the time. Fakes it pretty good on the job, though. He uses his accent to charm his clients.”

“Well, accents are pretty charming,” she said, offering a smile.

Will put his hand behind her head and pulled her down for a soft kiss. He released her a moment later.

“You see why I don’t talk about them?” he asked, returning to the subject at hand.

“Yeah. I’m glad you told me, though.”

“Now you know everything about me,” he said. “Well, except for one thing.”

“What?” she asked hesitantly, afraid of what he might tell her. She hoped it wouldn’t be something bad or god forbid something about him and Xander. She moved into a sitting position. “What thing?”

He sat up as well, looking at her with smiling eyes and taking her hand in his.

“That I love you.”

It was the last thing that Buffy had been expecting him to say and she was in a trance of surprise, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. Ever since she met him, it had always been her pining after him, loving him from afar and wishing somehow that he could feel the same way about her, but never thinking it would actually happen. Even since they had started dating she imagined that her feelings were always going to be stronger than his, though maybe that was just her own insecurity. Now, faced with this confession, Buffy was rendered speechless.

“Buffy?” Will’s voice broke her stupor and she shook her head, bringing herself back to the present situation. She looked at him and saw his face shining with hope and insecurity, waiting for her to say something to reassure him. So Buffy did the only thing she could think of.

“I love you, too,” she said, smiling widely, eyes shining with tears. There was no use in holding back her emotions any longer, her face lit with an expression of unadulterated joy.

“Oh, thank God,” Will said, letting out a breath of relief. “Had me worried for a bit there.”

Buffy was unable to stop smiling and Will’s smile grew to mirror hers. They looked like exactly what they were: two lovesick teenagers, completely crazy about each other. She had thought she was blissfully happy a week ago, but nothing compared to the way she felt right now. Nothing could possibly be better than this. It almost seemed too simple.

“I love you,” she said again, unable the words from spilling out.

“I love you, too.”

She would never get tired of hearing those words, and she would never get tired of saying them either. Being in love and loved in return was the purest, most sublime feeling the world.

They moved toward each other with the same goal in mind, meeting each other halfway, lips touching gently at first. Their kisses took a new form, becoming more tender and frantic at the same time. It was like their confessions of love had amplified their libidos and they couldn’t get close enough to each other. Will’s hands ran up and down Buffy’s back and her hands went to the back of his neck. She started to lean back, pulling him down on top of her. His arms came rest on either side of her and she opened her legs to let him settle between them, keeping their lips locked all the while. His kisses were sweet, perfect and wholly overwhelming.

She loved the feeling of him above her, their chests pressed together, her hands running up and down his back. Will’s hands slowly moved up her sides as their tongues continuously danced, slipping under her top to caress her skin. She could feel his hardness pressed into her center and she pushed up against him, arousing both of them even further. Will let out a groan when she wrapped a leg around his waist and ground against him again. The sound brought her back to reality for a minute, causing her to remember that they were in her backyard with her mother just inside the house.

“Will?” she breathed out, pulling her mouth away from his for a moment.

“Buffy,” he said, claiming her lips again. She was swept up in his kiss again and forgot for a moment why she had stopped in the first place.

“Will,” she repeated, a bit more loudly as he moved his lips to her neck. “As much as I’m loving this...oh,” she gasped as he sucked on her pulse point. “My mom is right inside,” she finally managed to get out. Will stilled his lips on her neck, pulling his head up to look at her.

“But I’m having so much fun,” he pouted, pushing his bottom lip out in way that made Buffy really want to bite it. He made it so difficult for her to not jump him whenever he was around.

“I know, so am I,” she said as he rolled off of her. She looked to him, mirroring his expression of frustration.

“I guess that means we’ll have to continue this another night.” Will gave her an impish grin leaning over to kiss her shoulder. She shivered despite the balmy night air, feeling his warm breath on her skin as his mouth hovered over her.

“I guess so. We’ll have to find someplace more…private.”

“Well, my car has a very large back seat, as you know.”

“Mmm…”

“And I will ravish you properly.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

They both lay back down, facing each other, losing themselves in each other’s smiling eyes. They started to inch toward each other when Joyce’s voice rang out from the back door.

“Buffy! It’s late, time for you to come inside!”

Buffy and Will both shot up, not wanting Joyce to catch them in any kind of compromising position, though they hadn’t actually been doing anything.

“Okay, Mom!” Buffy called out. “I’ll be inside in a few.”

“Guess that’s my cue to leave,” Will said, standing up. He held his hand out to Buffy, which she gratefully took, pulling herself up off the ground.

“I don’t want you to go,” she said, pouting and wrapping her arms around his torso. She hugged him tightly, burying her face in his chest and inhaling his masculine scent.

“I don’t want to go.” He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her to him. “I love you,” he whispered against her hair after a few moments.

“I love you,” she repeated, tilting her head up to capture his lips with hers, giving him one last kiss before they had to say goodnight. She reluctantly pulled back from his embrace. “Goodnight, Will.”

“Goodnight, Buffy.”

***

“Sweetie, are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“But, you could just as easily stay here and get a job...start making some money.”

“Mom, I told you,” Xander said, loading a sleeping bag and a suitcase into his new Honda Civic. “I need to do this.”

“Okay,” Joyce said with a sigh. “I just worry about you.”

“I know. But, I’ll be fine. I’ve got everything I need, my car, a credit card, snacks…”

“Clean underwear?” Buffy asked with a smirk on her face.

“Crap!” Xander exclaimed, running back into the house.

“He’d lose his head if it wasn’t attached to his body,” Joyce said, shaking her head.

“I think he’ll be fine, Mom,” Buffy said, trying to reassure her mother.

It was a few weeks after graduation and Xander was finally leaving for his trip. He had deposited all his graduation money into his bank account, gotten everything squared away with his new car and had even mapped out the route that he planned to take. He had shown more initiative in planning this trip that he ever had doing anything else, which shocked Buffy immensely.

In many ways, she believed that the trip would be a good learning experience for Xander. Maybe, without all the external pressure he would be able to do some real soul searching and come to terms with himself and his sexuality. He needed some time to come into his own, without all the crutches he leaned on at home. Even before he and Will’s fall out, Will had been his only friend, and then Anya after that. Hopefully the trip would give him a chance to open himself up to other people as well. She just hoped he would be careful.

“Got…underwear,” Xander huffed as he came running back outside, clutching a fistful of colorful boxer shorts. He was breathing heavily, apparently having run the whole way to his bedroom and back.

“Are you sure you want to go?” Joyce asked one last time.

“Yes.”

“Do you have absolutely everything you need?”

“Now I do.”

“Okay, then,” Joyce said, her eyes starting to tear up. “I can’t believe my baby is leaving me for a month,” she cried, pulling Xander into her arms.

“Mom, it’ll be okay,” he said, hugging her back.

“You had better call me at least twice a day, no matter what. Tell me where you are and what you are doing. Do you understand me?” Joyce pulled back, taking on a more stern demeanor as she lectured him.

“Yes, Mom.”

“Tell me again where you are heading first.”

“Up the coast toward San Francisco, then eventually up to Portland and Seattle.”

“Call me when you stop tonight and let me know where you’re staying.”

“Okay, Mom.”

“And drive carefully.”

“Yes, Mom.”

“And don’t talk to strangers.”

“Mom,” Xander said, placing his hands on her shoulders. “I’ll be fine.”

“Oh, honey.” Joyce pulled Xander into another embrace, hugging him as if she may never see him again, which may in fact have been a very real fear of hers.

“Mom, I have to leave now if I’m going to get to San Francisco tonight.” Joyce let him go after another quick squeeze. Xander looked to Buffy, who had been watching the scene with amusement.

“Behave yourself, young lady,” Xander said, mock scolding her, then pulling her into a hug.

“You got it, bro.”

“I know I haven’t been the best brother these past few months, but I’m really gonna miss you, Buf,” he said, pulling back to look her in the eyes.

“I’m gonna miss you too, Xan,” she replied, offering a genuine smile. As much as Xander had been a jerk lately, Buffy was really going to miss him. It would be weird without him around the house, making stupid jokes and leaving his stuff everywhere. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.” Xander just nodded, then got into his car.

“Be careful,” Joyce said, after he rolled the window down.

“Gotcha, Mom,” he said with a laugh, starting the engine of the car and backing out of the driveway. Buffy and Joyce looked on as he pulled away, waving as he drove off down Revello Drive.

**

One night a few weeks later, Buffy arrived home after having been out with Will. She came into the kitchen where Joyce was poised against the counter with her arms crossed. Her face wore a look of perception and concern that Buffy barely registered, still reeling from her recent encounter with Will.

“Good night?” Joyce asked.

“The best,” Buffy sighed with contentment.

“So, things are going okay with Will?”

“They’re going wonderful,” Buffy said wistfully. “I’m so…happy.”

“I’m glad you’re happy, honey. But, have you thought about what’s going to happen at the end of the summer?”

“What do you mean?”

“Sweetie, I don’t want to burst your bubble, but you need to think about what you’re getting yourself into.” Buffy was pulled down from her happy cloud very quickly. “You need to remember that William is leaving at the end of the summer. And he’s not just going a few hours away, he will be across the country.”

“Don’t you think I know that?”

“I know that you know it, honey. But, have you thought about the reality of it?”

“Yeah…I guess.”

“I don’t think you have,” Joyce said with disbelief.

“Are you telling me to break up with him?” Buffy asked, choking back tears.

“No, I’m not. I just want you to realize that everything will be different when he goes away. He’ll have new friends and school to worry about…he’s not going to have as much time for you as he does now.”

“Mom, he’s not just going to forget about me. We love each other.”

Joyce sighed, seeming to realize that she wouldn’t be able to change Buffy’s mind about Will. “Please tell me you two are being safe,” she said after a few moments, rubbing her temples.

“Mom! We haven’t…done that.”

“Oh,” Joyce said, sounding surprised. “Well, if or when you do, I want you to feel comfortable enough to talk to me about it. I know I can’t stop you, so I hope that you two are smart enough to use protection.”

“Okay, Mom,” Buffy said, unable to look her mother in the face, having flushed red with embarrassment. However, she was surprised at what her mother has actually said to her. She was okay with them having sex?

“But, you are only sixteen, and Will is a few years older than you. So, you might think he expects you to do that. But, there’s no shame in not being ready, honey. I didn’t even lose my-“

“Mom!” Buffy exclaimed suddenly, realizing the even more embarrassing turn this conversation was about to take. She certainly didn’t need to know about her mother’s sex life. Talk about too much information.

“What I mean, honey, is that you should wait until you’re ready. Okay?”

“Okay.”

**

“My mom tried to have a sex talk with me last night,” Buffy told Will the next day in the car on the way to the beach. It was a hot, sunny day and there was a limited amount of things for them to do in Sunnydale; the beach had seemed like their best bet.

“How’d that go?” he asked, suddenly seeming interested.

“Okay, at first. She said she knows she can’t…stop us and that we should be safe. Then it got weird when she started to talk about when she lost her virginity, something I so don’t need to hear.”

“So, your mum’s okay with us having sex?” Will asked with a look of surprise on his face, and if Buffy wasn’t mistaken, a bit of eagerness.

“Of course that’s the only thing you got out of that,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Mostly, she said that I should wait until I’m ready.”

“Oh.”

“That’s all you have to say?” she asked, narrowing her eyes.

“What do want me to say?” Will kept his eyes on the road, not turning to look at her.

Obviously her subtle hints weren’t working on him, so she decided to ask him outright. “Well, are you ready?”

“Of course I’m bloody ready, Buffy,” Will said, voice taking on a sound of desperation. “But, I’ll wait as long as you want,” he said, softening his tone.

“Okay.”

“You don’t feel like I’ve…pushed you into anything, do you?”

“No, of course not!” she exclaimed. That hadn’t been what she meant at all.

“Then what are you trying to get at here?” he asked, confused.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. She truly didn’t know what she had meant to do by bringing up the sex thing. Frankly, it confused her as well.

“Are you ready?” he asked, apprehension evident in his voice.

“I’m not sure.”

“Well, then we’ll wait,” he said with resolve, as he pulled the car into the parking lot of the public beach. Luckily, it was a weekday and wasn’t too crowded. They got out of the car, grabbed their bags, and headed down to the shore, walking hand in hand.

“Will,” Buffy started as they found a spot to put their stuff down. “It’s not that I don’t want to-“

“Buffy,” he said, placing a long finger over her lips to silence her. “You don’t have to explain anything to me.”

“Okay,” she said, smiling shyly.

“Besides, I can’t complain, can I? Seeing as I’ll get to look at you in what I’m hoping is a very skimpy bikini,” he said with a teasing smile, playing with the hem of her cover up.

“I don’t know if you deserve it,” she teased back, stepping out of his reach and slowly lifting up the pink terry cloth to expose the tops of her thighs.

Before he could respond, she surprised him by ripping off the dress and throwing it at his head. She heard him shout something as she took off toward the water, her bare feet sinking into the sand as she ran. She didn’t look back as she reached the wet sand, but she knew that he was following right behind her.