Junctures amid Darkness by SlayrGrl
Summary: Sequel to "Embracing Darkness" A series of moments in the years after Buffy became a vampire to defeat the First. Starts out fluff, ends a bit angsty, but is setting the place for another fic which will take place years in the future after Embracing Darkness. This fic fills in the time inbetween.
Categories: General Fics, Serial Fics Characters: None
Genres: Angst
Warnings: Character Death
Challenges:
Series: The Darkness Chronicles:
Chapters: 5 Completed: Yes Word count: 5770 Read: 12024 Published: 06/23/2011 Updated: 07/20/2011

1. Tunnel Light: by SlayrGrl

2. Red as a Newborn, White as a Corpse: by SlayrGrl

3. Something New: by SlayrGrl

4. The First Deathbed: by SlayrGrl

5. The Last in the Field of Graves: by SlayrGrl

Tunnel Light: by SlayrGrl
Tunnel Light:

One year after "Embracing Darkness"

They say your wedding gown is one dress that you'll only get to wear once. Anya got to wear hers twice. Buffy watches as the ex-vengeance demon moves across the dance floor in Xander's arms; the looks across their faces couldn't possibly be more joyful. Then Buffy's view is tilted and she looks up at the vampire before her as he pulls her out of a dip. Buffy and Spike twirl in circles across the dance floor moving smoother then any other couple in the room.

This wedding is smaller then Xander and Anya's first, but it also goes off without a hitch. Only immediate family and close friends have been invited which has so far kept the ruckus down to a minimum, although Buffy has still had to keep an eye on Xander's father since he's been prone to fluttering toward the bar. Also the horrendous green bridesmaid dresses, which all mysteriously were lost over the years, have been replaced by classic little black dresses for which everyone is glad.

Buffy scans Spike up and down taking in his impeccable appearance. His hair is slicked back and the classic black and white tux he wears fits him perfectly. Then the song they've been dancing to ends and Buffy and Spike make their way back to their table. Buffy thinks that this is how things should have gone the first time around. This is the way that weddings are supposed to be. No demons, no running into your ex who's there with another woman, and certainly no watching your best friend leave his bride at the altar.

"Oh, I love this song," Dawn squeals as Buffy and Spike near the table.

"Well nibblet, care to dance?" Spike asks extending his hand to the younger girl.

"Oh! Yes, please," Dawn exclaims with a squeal while Buffy sits down next to Willow and Kennedy then watches Spike and Dawn disappear onto the dance floor.

"She's really grown up a lot," Willow says watching Dawn smile brightly as she dances with Spike. Buffy turns to watch and smiles as well. They both look happy.

Spike moves his arm over Dawn's head sending the young girl into a gleeful spin then pulls her back to him. Their friendship has not only mended but grown in the past year and the two are now closer then ever. Dawn's toothy grin beams up at the vampire as they continue to dance.

"So," Dawn prods.

"So what nibblet?"

"So when are you and Buffy gonna get married?" Spike lets out a low chuckle.

"I don't think that's in the cards for us pet."

"Why not?"

"Just isn't."

"But you guys are so great together, and you love each other, and you're both gonna be together forever anyway, and everyone is totally accepting of you guys now, I mean hello you're a groomsman at Xander's wedding." Spike lets out another low laugh then sends Dawn into spin once again. When he pulls her back to him he can tell by the look on her face that she's still expecting answers.

"Look bit, it's like this… your sis and I just have something different… something that, it's just not something you celebrate with a wedding… it's something bigger." Upon his last word Dawn's face lights up and Spike knows that he's cut off her line of questioning, at least for the time being.

After some short conversation with Willow and Kennedy Buffy wanders off as the pair disappears to the dance floor. She sees Mr. Harris making his way to the bar again and decides to step in. Things have been so perfect so far, she refuses to let anything mess this night up now. Buffy steps up behind Xander's father just as he sits down. The man is staring at his reflection in the wide mirror behind the bartender, but with Buffy's lack of reflection he does not see her coming up behind him. Buffy places a hand on the man's shoulder causing him to jump slightly and he turns to face her.

"Mr. Harris," Buffy says.

"Well hey-low there sweet thing, you startled me, I didn't uh… didn't see you there."

"Yeah," Buffy says pulling Mr. Harris out of his chair before the bartender even has a chance to set his drink down. "I think you should be getting back to your table now."

"But I just ordered a…"

"Bar's closed now," Buffy cuts the older man off and continues to guide him through the crowd. Once he's officially seated at a table Buffy starts to walk away, but he grabs her hand as she tries to leave.

"Just so you know pretty lady... golly, you've got the coldest hands, anyway, if you wanna bust otta this shindig we could…" Buffy jerks her hand away from Mr. Harris's grasp.

"No thanks," Buffy says as she successfully walks away.

After a few feet Xander comes into view and Buffy's face lights up as she walks toward him. He's lost a little weight and looks like he's been working out a little. She embraces the newly wed in a tight hug and Xander squeezes back.

"Ah, Buff, still need to breathe," Xander gasps and Buffy lets go and takes a step back.

"Oh, Sorry."

"It's alright, what's a few cracked ribs between friends eh." Buffy smiles.

"Congratulations Xander, you and Anya, you've got the real deal. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, although I gotta say I'm not the only one who seems to have found the real deal," Xander says as his eyes focus on something behind Buffy. She turns to see that his sight is focused on Spike and Dawn dancing. Buffy turns back to Xander with a smile. Things between Xander and Spike have been better over the last year, Buffy even believes that he's come to accept her relationship with him, however he's never said anything about it before.

"Thanks Xander, really… that means a lot from you."

"Yeah well… He's still not my favorite person, but I get it Buff, I really do, and I'm glad you're happy." Buffy's smile widens and she embraces Xander in another hug.

"Hey!" Anya's voice sounds in a slightly annoyed tone. "Xander's mine… officially now." Buffy and Xander part and turn to see Anya holding up her hand displaying the diamond ring on her fourth finger. "You just keep your undead slayer hands to yourself."

"Ayn, hun," Xander says wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "It was just a friend hug."

"Oh I know… I mean after all Buffy and Spike have been going at it like Haorlag demons, but still… you're mine, I just need to make sure that stays clear." Buffy watches Xander's face flush and Buffy knows that if her face could as well that she would be red as a tomato right now. Xander turns to his bride with a smile and gives her a peck on the lips then they both turn back to Buffy.

"Thank you for coming Buffy, your presence was quite enjoyed." Buffy smiles and gives Anya a hug.

Two years ago when Buffy first came back and everything felt like she was falling into a black hole, especially relationships, Xander and Anya were her light at the end of the tunnel. They were proof that things could work out; then everything went to hell, but really there had just been a bump in the road as she traveled through that tunnel and now she's over the bump. Now Buffy is walking into the light.

"Congratulations guys," Buffy says and with a nod she turns toward the table where she sees Spike waiting for her.
Red as a Newborn, White as a Corpse: by SlayrGrl
Red as a Newborn, White as a Corpse:

Four years later:

Giant chocolate brown eyes stare up at Buffy. The three year olds wavy dark brown hair falls in front of her face and Buffy stares down at the child with fear. Xander hands the toddler over to Buffy and she awkwardly takes her in her arms. Buffy's panicked emerald eyes instantly dart to meet Xander's who match the chocolate brown hue of the child's eyes with a look that asks 'what am I supposed to do now'.

"You'll be fine Buffy, I'll get back as soon as I can."

"I know it's just… the one pet I ever had, Larry the goldfish went belly up after like a day and… I don't know isn't there someone else who's more… alive or something. I mean how qualified can I be for this if I don't even have a heartbeat?"

"Buffy, you're babysitting not signing up for surrogacy, and I'll be back in a few hours I promise. There's just no one else right now, but I really gotta get to the hospital before Anya goes into labor and starts invoking dark spirits and calling D'Hofferen up about making her a vengeance demon again for the pain I put her through."

"Don't worry about it Harris," Spike says as he comes down the stairs. "We've got it under control." Spike takes the toddler into his arms and smiles down at her evoking a coo from the child's lips. Spike looks back up and Xander gives him a thankful nod.

"Alright, well I'll be back in a couple hours… I hope," Xander says then bends down to look at his daughter in Spike's arms. "Bye Raelyn, daddy will be back soon, be good for auntie Buffy and uncle Spike now," Xander kisses the small child on the head and lets himself out. Raelyn waves at him as he leaves grasping after him. Once he's gone Buffy turns to Spike with a fearful look still imbedded deep in her features.

The small girl with brown curls sits in the center of the living room playing with blocks. Buffy watches her every move as if afraid the toddler will turn and attack at any moment. Raelyn is adorable and Buffy loves her dearly, however she's never been asked to watch her without her sister or Willow home. They were the best aunties; they always knew what every cry meant or how to keep Raelyn busy; but neither Willow nor Dawn is home now. Willow and Kennedy are away on vacation in South America and Dawn is finishing up her senior year of college at UCLA.

"Auntie Buffy." Green eyes go wide as Buffy stares down at the small child who looks up at her with innocence.

"Yeah Rae Rae?"

"Can we play a game?" The girl asks in the sweetest voice just as Spike walks in from the kitchen. He carries a plate with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on it cut into four squares.

"What are my girls talking about?" Spike asks as he sets the snack down before the small girl.

"Raelyn wants to play a game," Buffy says.

"Well now, just what kind of game were you thinking about little bit."

"I dunnos." Small hands pick up a tiny square of sandwich and Raelyn takes a bite.

"How bout this, you finish off that sandwich and I'll think of something."

...

"Come out, come out wherever you are," Spike sing songs as he walks through the living room like a predator on the prowl. Buffy watches him through the sliver of space between the closet door and its jam. She sits on the floor of the closet with Raelyn in her lap hiding from a seeking Spike. Buffy watches the vampire on the other side of the door spin and search the room looking for possible places where Buffy and Raelyn could be hiding.

Spike then closes his eyes and cheats. He lets his own movements fall completely silent until he can hear one tiny heartbeat. It's so soft, but without Spike nor Buffy making a sound of any kind Spike can hear it clearly and he stalks over to the closet door. He pauses for a moment and can hear the tiny girl's breath pick up then Spike swings the door open and Raelyn lets out a playful scream. The small girl bursts out of Buffy's lap and runs around Spike into the living room. Her brown curls bounce as she moves.

Both blonde vampires are chasing after her and Spike quickly catches up. He swoops the child up and cradles her in his arms as she squeals and giggles loudly. Buffy looks on and smiles at the sight before her. For just a moment she's jealous of Xander and Anya; jealous of their fragile mortal lives and ability to bear children. Becoming a vampire had been a hard thing to come to terms with, but she has, and she honestly is happy, in this moment however she realizes just what she's given up.

"That's right, big bads gotcha now." The tiny girl's giggles grows louder and Buffy's eyes meet Spike's from across the room; the room that is filled with love and joy.

Buffy and Spike sit side by side on the couch as one dim lamp lights the room in a warm amber glow. Buffy leans her head on Spike's shoulder and in her lap sleeps a small child with curly brown hair. She runs her fingers through Raelyn's dark locks and looks down at her affectionately. As her view shifts upward her eyes meet Spike's. Looking into his soul she can see that he understands, just as she does, what it is that they can never have. It's obvious that it pains him as well. Immortality was a life neither of them chose, not really. Buffy had asked for it, but never wanted it; it was just what she had to do. Finding happiness and love in this unlife that they were both given has been a complete blessing; but now they can see that it is a curse as well.

"Think I would have been a good mom?" Buffy says wistfully. "I mean I was never the best with care giving kinds of things, and cooking… I can't cook… mom's should be able to cook…"

"I think you would have been a great mum."

"Really?"

"I know it… and I'm sorry I took that opportunity away from you."

"You didn't… I mean… Spike, I don't think that was ever in the cards for me, please don't ever think that…"

"I know love, but there are still things I wish I could give you that I know I can't." Buffy stares at him for a moment, then she runs her fingers down the side of his cheek and offers him a soft smile.

"I think you would have made a good father."

Head lights can be seen through the blinds as a car pulls into the driveway. Xander is here. Their babysitting adventure is over. Buffy and Spike's eyes remain glued to each other for a moment then the spell is broken. Spike stands to get the door knowing Xander will be knocking on it soon enough. They both know that living vicariously through others will be their only way to experience things like raising children, but that's just the life they lead and somehow they are okay with that. They have to be.
Something New: by SlayrGrl
Something New:

Five years later:

Buffy thinks they all look perfect. She realizes then that because of that her opinion won't be the most helpful, but she's glad to be here to give it anyway. Dawn walks out of the dressing room for the fifth time holding bundles of white fabric in each hand. A broad smile crosses her face and for a moment she reminds Buffy of the five year old girl that used to play dress up in their mother's clothes; but Dawn isn't five anymore. She's not even a teenager anymore, she's all grown up.

Buffy thinks for a moment about the look the sales clerk gave them when they first arrived at the bridal shop and Dawn had introduced Buffy as her older sister. A little later the forty-something clerk pulled Buffy aside and asked her what her secret was, she told her that she looked too young to be Dawn's older sister, and she did certainly appear younger then Willow and Anya who are now thirty one. Buffy had made up some spiel up about moisturizer and eating a good breakfast knowing that she couldn't tell her the real reason for her apparent youth is because she'll never again age and that being a vampire has toned her features to be as beautiful and alluring as they can be.

Buffy takes note that from now on she'll have to play the role of younger sister in public circles and snaps out of her memory as Dawn makes a full three-sixty rotation before her, Anya and Willow. She twists displaying the a-line, strapless wedding dress adorned with intricate beading. Buffy can tell by the look on Dawn's face that this is the dress and she feels her eyes filling up with tears; tears of joy but also of sadness as she thinks of how much her mother would have loved to be here in this moment.

"I think this is it," Dawn says with a high pitched squeal. "What do you think?"

"Mom would have loved it," Buffy says.

"It's perfect," Willow adds.

"I liked the last one more," Anya says and Willow jabs her once in the ribs. "Ow… but you looked beautiful in all of them," she then adds. Anya's cell phone starts to ring then. She looks down at it and sees that Xander is calling. "Oh, I've got to get this… continue with the oogling over Dawn's dress but don't try anything else on till I get back." Anya gets up and walks out into the hallway. As she disappears Buffy, Willow and Dawn can hear her mumbling something about Raelyn and Jason who are now seven and four.

"Do you really think mom would have liked it?"

"More then liked. Loved. I think this is the one." A high pitched squeal erupts from Dawn's lips as she looks at herself in the mirror. Again Buffy sees her as much younger then the twenty seven year old woman she really is. Her eyes water up slightly as she thinks about her baby sister getting married. Buffy thinks to herself that this is part of why she does what she does; why she's sacrificed so much. She's done it all for moments like this.

...

Buffy sits at a stool in the kitchen while Willow cooks. They're having dinner at the house, all the scoobies together again which is something that hasn't happened in some time. Dawn's fiancé will be joining them, Giles has flown in from England, and for the last week Buffy has been praying that nothing breaks in through the window or decides to attack on this particular evening. Willow opens the oven and pulls out a large rectangular pan covered in juicy steaks.

"Is this cooked too much for you and Spike?" Willow asks poking at one of the steaks with a fork. Vampire cuisine is something she has no understanding of. Buffy and Spike rarely ate regular food, extra rare steaks and wheetie bix being the exception, but tonight they wanted to be as included as everyone else.

"No, those are fine Will." Buffy watches as Willow pulls two steaks off the pan and sets them on a plate which gets covered with tinfoil to keep them warm while the rest go back into the oven. "So are you nervous… about the big day?"

"I don't know, not really I suppose… I mean her and Holden have been together a long time, I kinda expected this ya know… I'm… excited," Buffy says with a smile.

"Is it weird… cause you're mom's not here?" Willow turns toward Buffy and searches her eyes as if afraid that she shouldn't have said anything.

"A little, I miss her, and I can tell Dawn does too… especially now, but I think I've kinda taken on the mother of the bride role. It's kinda nice, you know with this being the only time I'll get to do that." Willow offers her a sad smile. Children just aren't in Buffy's cards, not in hers either but that's different.

...

Dawn walks into her childhood room. She'd moved out years ago but this space has always been hers. Buffy had never redecorated or moved a thing; it was a silent promise that she would always have a place here, always be welcome. As Dawn steps into the lavender painted room, the color her mother helped her pick out, she sees Spike sitting on her bed. He's dressed up a little from his casual all black look wearing jeans and a navy button down shirt. In his hand is a photograph of Dawn and her friends from when she was about sixteen. He stares down at the image in its bright purple frame with nostalgia.

"Hey Spike," Dawn says and Spike looks up at her as if shocked by her presence. He hadn't noticed she was there, must have really been lost in a memory Dawn thinks.

"Hey bit," Spike says with a smile and Dawn moves to sit beside him on her bed. "Just thinking about that time you snuck out on Halloween... nearly got yourself vamped," Spike lets out a low chuckle. "You've really grown up since then, and your choice in men has improved, thank God." Dawn laughs.

"You always were looking out for me."

"Guess I was… we made a good little family for a while, you me and big sis… before you went off to college of course."

"Yeah we did," Dawn agrees. "I um… I'm glad I ran into you snooping through my things… I uh, I wanna ask you something."

"Anything you want bit."

"I was thinking that maybe… maybe you could… The thing is, my dad has never really been around for me and I would… I'd like for you to walk me down the isle." Spike's eyes grow wide and then a large grin crosses his face.

"Oh platelet, I don't know what to say."

"Say you will… you've looked out for me more then anyone ever has… since mom at least. I mean, I don't really see you as a father figure or anything really, more like a big brother… but if anyone is going to be giving me away I think it should be you." Spike smiles and pulls Dawn into a big hug. She squeezes him tightly and knows that this means yes.
The First Deathbed: by SlayrGrl
Author's Notes:
As a reminder I did say this would get a bit angsty, this and the last chapter to come are more on the sad side; but I hope you still enjoy them.
The First Deathbed:

Twenty years later:

Buffy has always wanted to see the world, or at very least more of the world then the west coast; but she wishes that her first trip to London was for any other reason then this. Buffy and Spike make their way down a stark white hallway. The hospital should be filled with the sounds of whirring machines, beeping monitors, chattering doctors and complaining patients, but all that Buffy can hear as she walks down the hall is the clicking of her heels against the cold tile floor. It's unnerving and Buffy squeezes Spike's hand tightly as they near their destination.

Buffy rounds the corner of room 085 and sees the solemn faces of her friends. A woman with dark hair is sitting by the side of the bed. Dawn turns her head as Buffy enters, but refuses to move as one of her hands is clasped in the hand of her husband at her side and the other is holding on tightly to the patient in the bed.

Willow rushes up to Buffy and gives her a tight hug. When she pulls away Buffy notices the redness of her friend's eyes and for the first time in thirty years actually thinks that the red-head looks her age. In her grief stricken state the wrinkles around Willow's eyes seem deeper and the streak of grey that runs through her hair appears lighter then ever before.

Willow moves back to stand beside Kennedy and allow Buffy space to move farther into the room and Buffy does. Spike however remains in the door frame looking on. As Buffy takes a step closer to the hospital bed she see's Xander with his arm around Anya leaning against the far wall, Raelyn stands beside them as well resting her hands on her fully pregnant stomach. Her husband John isn't present, however her brother Jason comes into view as Buffy takes another stride. The young man with amber eyes matching his mother's appears a little uncomfortable.

Buffy turns toward the bed then. She pulls up a chair and takes the old man's hand as she sits down. His hand is nearly as icy cold as her own and the blue veins beneath his translucent skin are thick like highways drawn on a roadmap.

"Giles," Buffy says softly. He turns to her weakly and yet as frail as he is his eyes still shine with all the love and affection she's known from him. A smile forms on his thin lips and Buffy finds herself choking back tears.

"Buffy," Giles says with recognition in his features. "I'm so glad you're here." His voice is so soft that it's barely audible.

"Everything is gonna be okay Giles." The old man smiles.

"I want you to know how proud of you I am." Tears roll down Buffy's face. "I need you… need you to know…"

"Shh, Giles, I know. I know." It's harder for Buffy to speak now. She can hear the beeping of the heart monitor, can feel his shallow breaths. It's close; so close and Buffy wishes that she had more time; but she knows she doesn't. She's come to recognize the signs of death far too easily.

"No, Buffy," A violent cough breaks through Giles's voice. "I need you to know how much I love you." He tries to squeeze her hand, but he's so weak. "You're my daughter, and I love you."

"I know Giles." Her voice is barely more then a whisper. "I love you too." His eyes meet hers then and she can see that he's said what he's wanted to. He's made his peace and there's nothing more holding him here. He keeps his gaze on her as he lets out a deep even breath, Buffy thinks she can see the life vanish from his eyes, drift away; and then the heart monitor draws a flat line. He had been waiting for her, and now he's gone. For a moment, as his hand falls heavy in hers, Buffy believes that she can see his soul vanish from his eyes. For a moment everything is surreal, frozen, as if it isn't really happening; and then reality floods back and he's really just gone.

After some time has passed Buffy walks out of room 085 and into the waiting room. The gang is all there waiting for her. They let her have a moment alone and now they watch with sunken faces as she walks out of his room. No, not his room, the empty room, the death room. Spike stands immediately and embraces her in a hug. She lets her eyes fall shut for a moment and allows him to comfort her, then he pulls away and the pain returns.

Death is far too familiar an occurrence for Buffy and time is all too short, what's most unfair about it though is that it's only short for those around her. For herself time is eternal, and it only makes the time they have seem so much less. As she looks over the aged faces of her friends, of her family, she remembers back to when they all came to comfort her at the hospital when her mom died, when Giles had come to comfort her. How can time have moved by so fast that now she's here seeking comfort for his death; but that's just the way of life and she knew she would have to go through this. Knowing, however, doesn't make it any easier.

She meets the eyes of all her friends then, especially, Dawn, Willow and Xander and she knows that she same fate awaits them, and she will have to live through it. Dawn makes her way to her then and embraces her in a tight hug. Buffy closes her eyes as she tightens her arms around her sister and the tears fall. Willow and Xander make their way to the pair next and a slight smile comes to Buffy's face over the group hug. They won't be here forever, but Buffy silently vows to make what time she does have with them count.
The Last in the Field of Graves: by SlayrGrl
The Last in the Field of Graves:

Forty-five years later:

It's a moonless night in the graveyard and Buffy finds it fitting to be standing in darkness; after all, the last of the light from her life has died with all the rest. Buffy's face is somber and she stands before the grave marker still as stone. For a moment Buffy thinks that she should have brought flowers. That is, after all what people were supposed to do in situations like this, it's what Dawn did when they buried Giles, what Willow did when they buried Kennedy, but something about doing that just felt trite. It's strange, even after all the funeral's she's been to this still feels sudden and unexpected.

Just then the statue carved of stone starts to crumble. Buffy falls to her knees and a softness returns to her skin as haggard breathing trembles her lips and salty pools of liquid stream down her face. Her tears blur the name of the headstone before her, but she is still able to read Alexander Lavelle Harris across its granite surface.

Even in his nineties Xander had been the same boy she met sophomore year in high school, and nothing, not even the wears of time could change the way he looked to her. Not wrinkles, nor cataracts, brittle bones or dark blue veins made Buffy look at Xander, or any of her other friends as they aged, any differently. And his personality had stayed just as intact and vibrant as always.

Even in his dying breath Xander had managed to crack a joke. 'Don't fret Buffster,' he had said in a hoarse voice, 'I'm ready… and I'm kinda hoping for seventy-two virgins to be waiting for me,' a raspy and choked laugh escaped the dying man's lips and Buffy's eyes welled up but she still managed to smile. 'Although just seeing Anya's face again would be more then enough to make me a happy man for all eternity,' he grabbed her hand then and Buffy squeezed it tight. 'We're all gonna be waiting for you Buff… don't have too much fun with this whole immortal thing, we'll be… we'll… be waiting,' Xander's eyes started to flutter closed and his breathing slowed. Signs that death would be coming soon, signs Buffy knew all too well.

Buffy snaps herself out of her memory; she doesn't want to remember how it ends. Sitting in the grass before his head stone Buffy traces his name carved in the rock before her. They're all gone now, everyone but her and Spike. She knew this day would come, she'd always known, but knowing about this day hasn't lessened her pain any. After Giles had passed she had a good number of years before she had to witness another death. The next to go was Kennedy in her late seventies and Willow followed a few years later. A few years after that Dawn and her Husband Holden were in a car accident passing away at the age of seventy-eight. Anya had held her own into her eighties as did Xander and their kids were a big part of their vitality, but eventually she passed of natural causes as well.

With each death Buffy has felt a mix of emotion, in part there is sadness for the loss of those she has loved and then there is also resentment for the peace they will feel after they have moved on; a peace that she was dragged out of, and a peace that she will not return to for a long time coming. Just how long she doesn't know. When Tara had visited them after the defeat of the First, her angelic presence filling Buffy with peace, she had told Buffy to prepare herself. Buffy understood what she meant; she knew that life as a vampire would be hard. Watching her friends grow, have families, and then die; she knew it would be hard, but now that it has happened, she finds that she never realized just how hard it would be.

Buffy traces Xander's name set in his stone once again and thinks about going back home. Just the thought of being in a place that is so filled with memories of them hurts her unbeating heart. Pale fingers wrap around Buffy's shoulder. She turns her neck and looks up at Spike with watery eyes. Slowly she stands and faces him. Spike runs his fingers down her cheek and offers her all the love he has through a kiss to her forehead.

"I want to leave," Buffy says softly.

"Come on pet, let's go home."

"No… I don't, I can't go home… I want to get away for a while. Can we just disappear for a little while, get out of Sunnydale?" Spike looks deeply into Buffy's eyes, he understands. It's easier for him, sure he got close with all of her friends, especially Dawn, but he lost his family long ago and dealing with the deaths of the scoobies has been easier for him then for Buffy. Spike knows how it works being a vampire; he understands that the world around him will continue to change as he remains the same.

"Sure pet, we can go anywhere you want."

Spike intertwines his fingers with hers and they walk across the empty field of the graveyard. It's one of the newer cemeteries in Sunnydale and still remains mostly empty. Buffy and Spike pass beneath a young willow tree where more graves of the scoobies lie and they continue into the darkness. Buffy and Spike disappear into the black moonless night without even the thought of looking back, for now.


I had a dream, which was not all a dream.

The bright sun was extinguish'd, and the stars

Did wander darkling in the eternal space,

Rayless, and pathless, and the icy earth

Swung blind and blackening in the moonless air;

Lord Byron
End Notes:
Keep an eye out for "Evading the Sun" which I hope to start posting in September.
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