College life was turning out nothing life Buffy has expected, she was feeling kind of lonely and out-of-place now that Xander had Anya and Willow had Tara, they wouldn't understand anyway, why was she trying to prove her actions to herself?, nope even when she thought about it that way, having sex with Spike was just never ok and she hated herself for it.

"Buff, are you coming to the Bronze tonight? Just You Me and Xander like old times?"

"Oh I don't know Will, I still have a lot of homework I should probably get done" Buffy gestured to the books she had in her arms

"Who are you and what have u done with Buffy?" Xander cut in

"Hey!" Buffy protested

"He's right, since when have u been ‘let's ditch the Bronze for some homework' girl?" Willow raised an eyebrow at Buffy

"Patrolling has just taken a lot out of me these last few days, the vamps they just keep-a-coming"

"Spike been hanging around?" Xander asked

"Hanging around who? Where? He wasn't with me patrolling" Buffy freaked not really grasping Xanders' question

"Whoa Buffsta! Relax I just meant has he been getting in the way a lot lately?"

"Oh, no I haven't seen him lately, must mean he is up to something" Buffy lied trying to bring her heart down to normal beating speed.

"You have been rather jumpy on the Spike talk lately, you sure you're ok?" Willow inquired Buffy with a nudge to the rib

"Just talking of vampires gets me a little jumpy lately, haven't been sleeping properly"

Buffy knew at least half of that last statement was true, that she hadn't been sleeping properly due to her Spike infested dreams was a totally different problem all together.

"Look I've gotta get to the dorm and hopefully get a nap in before tonight, I might come down if I get some of this homework done, okay?"

"I'll take that as ‘I will see you there'" Willow smiled at her.

Buffy walked back to her dorm, set out her clothes she would wear if she decided to hit the Bronze with Xander and Willow, and laid herself down on her bed, stared at the ceiling for two minutes and went straight off to sleep.


Spike emerged from behind her slamming her into the wall of the Bronze grabbing her throat as he held her in place, staring into her eyes

"Miss me luv?"

"What do you want?" Buffy held his gaze trying to pretend she was not moved by his actions

"We back to playing this game are we?, I thought once I'd fucked you we'd get along a hell of a lot better" Spike kept her held tight as he moved his other hand to run up her leg trying to reach under her skirt.

"And yet I repeat myself, what do you want?"

"You"

"Yeah, well good luck with that"

Buffy grabbed the hand at her throat and tried to maneuver around him. Spike was quick to react pulling her back in place between him and the wall. Spike new Buffy could have gotten out had she really wanted to, she was just scared of her own sexual desire for him. He pressed her to the wall with his body showing her how hard he was for her. Buffy sucked in a breath, hoping that Spike didn't know his actions were turning her on.

Spike again moved his hand up Buffy's leg, reaching the bottom of her tight black leather skirt, all the easy access wear she wore made his sexual advances on her so much easier.

"Spike, let me go" Buffy moaned, it was hard to get anything she said heard overall the noise inside the Bronze, the band was really going off tonight.

"Tell me to let you go and you know I will, but you and I both know that isn't what you really want, you're just scared to tell me what it is you really want"

Buffy knew she didn't really want him to let her go, she wanted him to take her right where they stood, but being torn between what was right and what was easy, now she wanted what was easy. What would Xander and Willow and Giles think of her if they saw her like this, panting for spike wanting him to touch her?.

"There is no point trying to hide it now, I can smell you, you know" Spike gently stroked her, feeling her wetness on his fingertips.

"That doesn't mean anything"

"Does it mean anything that you've protested with your mouth, yet you've not moved or made any kind of motion to remove my hand from between your legs?"

Spike continued to stroke her. Buffy felt like she was tearing inside, she wanted him so much, but scared of what the Scoobies would do if they found out, after everything they had done to help her, she felt like this was a betrayal to them.

Until at last she couldn't protest him anymore as he dipped his finger into her panties and straight up into her wetness, she let her head fall backwards and rested it against the wall behind her, sighing in relief.

"That's it Slayer"

Spike leaned in to nibble at her neck, still trying to get his body as close to hers as possible as he continued to try to rub himself on her. Spike pushed her panties to one side, letting his fingers roam around; she was so warm and smelled so sweat. Slowly he inserted a second finger, receiving a moan from Buffy like no other he'd heard before.

"Oh Spike"

Buffy's head rested against the wall enjoying every bit of spikes movements, all doubt having been removed from her mind, he seemed like some sought of god at this, every move his hands made lead to a part of her that was begging for him to touch.. Unlike himself Spike was being gentle with Buffy, knowing that she hadn't had a lot of experience in the sexual department, and especially no experience with being pinned up against the wall of a night club with a vampire between her legs indulging in her. Every sigh or moan she made seemed to make him harder, which was becoming impossible as he was rock hard and aching. Buffy made a reach for Spikes pants wanting to get them undone.

"Mm now she wants it, you want me pet? Say it, tell me you want me"

"Spike..."

Buffy moaned, not wanting to hear the words she so dreaded herself, no way she wanted to tell Spike she wanted him, but not wanting to lose the sensations at the same time

"Come on Slayer"

"Spike please" she begged

"Getting warmer"

"I want you" She caved

Spike chuckled, unzipped his pants freeing himself, lifting her further up the wall and wrapping one of her legs around him. He guided himself into her slowly not wanting to cause her too much hurt.

"Oh Buffy"

Spike called out her name as she begun to engulf him Buffy gripped his shoulders, her finger nails digging in he was bigger than Angel and standing upright made it hurt but be so pleasurable at the same time.

Spike began to pump into her lifting her up so she could wrap her legs around him. He hadn't felt anything like her for as long as he could remember, she was so tight, almost virginal, he wanted to hurt her and make love to her all at the same time.

Spike buried his face in the crook of her neck, slamming into her over and over, he could fill the tension building up, and he needed to come soon. Buffy was already on edge holding to his shoulders for dear life, the built up was coming on so strong she needed realize, with one last hard stroke into her Buffy screamed and came sending him over the edge with her.

Their gasps for breath were defining clinging to each other as they began to come down from their high. The front door to the Bronze opened as people started to exit the night club, Buffy jumped in response to the sound pushing Spike away from her. Spike re-zipped his pants and tucked in his shirt as Buffy straightened herself up.

"Till next time Slayer."

Spike lit a cigarette, turning from Buffy and walking away, his duster flaring behind him.

"There you are Buffy!" Xander was heading towards her grinning

"You coming in or what? Took you long enough to get here, how long were you napping for?"

Buffy glanced in the direction Spike had walked off in not paying too much notice to Xanders' mocking of her as they slowly walked inside

"I'm not sure I've actually woken up" Buffy said glancing
back to the shadows where spike had vanished.