The door clicked shut, leaving a shocked and hurt Watcher on the other side. Several tense moments passed, and finally footsteps were heard moving away. Slowly turning, Buffy rested her weight against the opposite side of the closed door, feeling more tired than she had in days. It certainly hadn’t been the fight with Richard, nor the sprint following. No, it had definitely been that sick feeling of dread, the one that festered in the pit of her stomach as soon as she realized that Giles was stalling her. Never before had she felt such raw panic. Looking back, she also picked up on the look of absolute disappointment on her Watcher’s face. Her first reaction to that was visceral, ‘Well screw him!’ Eyes widening, she sucked in a quick breath, the sound whistling through her teeth. She was surprised. Surprised? Shaking her head in bewilderment, she came to the conclusion that she just didn’t give a damn what Giles thought anymore. She definitely didn’t care what Wood thought. Not after tonight. While Robin would be a valuable resource in the fight against the First, Buffy knew that it was quite possible that he would attempt a repeat of tonight. The feeling of panic she had ruthlessly quelled just moments before returned with a vengeance. Closing her eyes once more, she began to take deep calming breaths, and with each inhalation came the soothing smell of burning tobacco wafting in through the cracked-open window. Smiling softly, she walked to the window, closed it, and headed back downstairs. She had a vampire to check on.



XXX



Slipping quietly through the darkened house, Buffy followed the smell of smoke to the porch. There she found her vampire upon the top step, cigarette dangling from his lips and elbows resting on his knees.


Sitting up, he took a long drag and exhaled. Though she’d never admit it, she’d always found smoking and Spike to equal sexy. She had managed to exit the house almost noiselessly, and came to rest leaning against the door frame. She folded her arms across her chest and found herself content to merely be in his presence.


“Sorry to disappoint love, but I’m not puttin’ out this fag. Been one hell of a night.”


Startled out of her contentment by his roughened voice, Buffy replied, “It’s ok, Spike. I think I can forgive you just this once.”


Harsh laughter greeted her response. “Better’n nothin’ I wager.”


Realization dawned upon Buffy as she ‘rewound’ the last thing she had said. Steeling herself, she walked the last few paces to come beside him, her boots making harsh clacks upon the wood. Seating herself, she twisted her body so that she was half-facing him, her knees barely brushing his.


“Do you think for one second that I would have let you back in the house, let you train with the girls, let you remotely near Dawn if I hadn’t truly forgiven you?”


Taking one more long drag, Spike turned towards Buffy, leaning upon the post of the hand-rail. Eyes traveling skyward, he exhaled straight into the air, casually flicked the dead ash at the tip of his smoke to the side, and brought his eyes level with hers. His voice was broken and barely audible when he finally spoke.


“Should never forgive me for that Slayer. Never.”


Indignant, she responded quick as a snake. “Just like you should never forgive me for all the times I treated you like shit? It goes both ways Spike, we were both bad people.”


Surprised, he took his time to mull that over.


“To be honest pet? I never really felt all that bad about how you treated me. Knew what you needed. Was just happy to be there.”


Looking away, he took a final drag and exhaled, stubbing the smoke under his boot. Before she could retort again, he continued softly, “Though I guess things are better now, it’s like we’re almost friends ya know? Bygones an’ all that rot?”


Incredulous, something clicked into place inside her mind. A memory from years past. She began to giggle at the recollection, light tinkles and jingles like bells. When her laughter died down, she finally spoke.


“What was it you said that one time? Something about blood and love and never being friends?”


“Hey! That wasn’ meant to be funny, that was true!”


Giggling again at his acute displeasure, he couldn’t help but smile along with her. It had been much too dark lately, and it was especially cathartic to laugh after the horrors of tonight. His smile faded a bit at that thought

.
“Ya know love, they’re gonna try again,” he said softly.


Fiercely, she replied, “Not on my watch, mister. You’re mine.”


Gazes that had drifted apart made quick work of snapping back together – eyes comically wide. For long moments, they simply stared at one another. When the contact was finally broken, it was Spike who rolled his blue orbs skyward and let out a long breath.


His voice was rough and husky when he finally found the will to speak once more.


“Careful what you wish for pet, bloke might get ideas in ‘is head.”


Blushing at the tone of his voice, Buffy whispered, “If it would keep you safe...”


“Wouldn’ do that to ya pet. Would make ya weaker. ‘Sides, safety in’t exactly the reason claims are made.”


“It would not make me weaker! And, and, anyway, it would be my choice! And...”


“Have I ever mentioned you’re cute when you babble, love?”


Blushing again, Buffy had no retort.


“But seriously Buffy, you can’t just make a claim to protect someone. They’re forever. An’ I mean that. You’d live s’long as I would. You’d watch Dawn, the Scoobies, everyone you’ve ever cared about grow old an’ die. I’d do it in a heartbeat, kitten, but it would have to be more than an offhand comment about soddin’ protection.”


Both sighing heavily, the pair lapsed into silence. Spike remained leaning upon the railing, while Buffy stayed facing him. She watched as his head once again tilted skyward and his eyes closed. Something deep within her was both angered and unnerved by his words. Did he think that she thought so little of him? As her mind replayed the last several weeks, paying close attention to her interactions with the blonde vampire in question, she realized that she hadn’t exactly been clear with her feelings at all. There were so damn many things she felt for him. The more she dwelt upon her feelings, the more she found that relief was the main thing she felt. Spike had become such a fixture in her life, she was surprised to find that despite how they...parted...she had missed him. Even after what they had done to each other...what he had...


“I just want to forget about the past.”


It wasn’t until she heard Spike’s whispered, “Not sure we can, love,” that Buffy realized that she had spoken aloud.

Wholly embarrassed, she said sheepishly, “Would be nice though, wouldn’t it? At least put it behind us...maybe move on?”


A short bark of laughter broke the quiet conversation. “Buffy, pet, after what I did...”


Incredulous, Buffy immediately replied, “After what you did? Spike...I didn’t treat you any better! We’re both to blame. I forgive you, will you forgive me? Can we please stop dancing around this? I’m so tired of...”


“Forgive you? There’s nothing to forgive, love. As for dancing, Buffy, I seem to remember telling you that it’s all we’ve ever done.”


Finally cracking a true smile at that comment, Buffy decided it was time. It was her choice dammit, not Giles’, and sure as hell not the Scoobies’.


“I think it’s time we changed the song, Spike.”


Scooting over the couple of feet that separated them, Buffy lightly molded herself to Spike’s side. Resting her head in the hollow of his shoulder, she laced her fingers through his right hand and gently placed their twined fingers across her belly. Her other hand she rested lightly upon his knee. She felt his sharp intake of breath at her actions and where their fingers lay together, she was disheartened to find that he was almost straining not to touch her.


“Buffy...Slayer, what...” he started to speak, but faltered when she squeezed his knee lightly. As he released the breath he had been holding, he could feel his jaw clench. Shutting his eyes tightly, he willed himself not to react to her nearness. With each unnecessary breath he took, he took in more and more of her scent – sweet, tart, and wholly her. Gone were the traces of fear he’d noticed when he had first returned from Africa. What remained was glorious, and he basked.


Just as he thought he had himself under control, she spoke.


“I didn’t want to at first...but I missed you, Spike.”


All bets were off.


The hand she was almost forcing to touch her midsection was joined by its absent brother. Unlacing his hand from hers, his hands worked in tandem to grasp her petite waist and proceeded to lift her effortlessly onto his lap. One of his hands left her waist and his fingers left a trail of heat along her covered arm. He gently pulled down the collar of her turtleneck sweater and nuzzled her exposed neck with his nose. As his unneeded breath tickled her, she gasped, almost undone by the soft, wet kiss he left on her neck. He had deftly avoided the small crosses that adorned her long earrings.


Not to be outdone, she easily broke the grip of his arm around her waist and stood. Though her back was turned to him, she could feel the pain roll off his frame, no doubt thinking once again he had hurt her. Slowly, she turned to face him. As she looked down at the top of his head, she took his chin in her hand and none too gently pulled his face up to match her gaze. His look of agony turned to shock quickly as he caught her saucy wink. She promptly returned to her astride his lap, this time face to face.


The shocked look remained on Spike’s face. Tilting his head slightly to one side, he silently questioned her intent. He had to be sure. With a dramatic sigh, she said, “I’m ready to admit we’ve been dancing for years Spike.” Then with uncertainty, “That is, if you still wanna dance?”


His answering grin was sinful. The slow smile, the curled tongue, it was all pure Spike.


“Oh yeah, love, I still wanna dance.”


Then the swagger melted away and his blue eyes grew serious. “I’ll always love you Buffy, but we’re gonna dance together this time. That alright with you?”


“Like I said, new dance, new song, and together sounds perfect.”


“Oh kitten, you’ve no idea how long I’ve waited for that,” Spike said, leer returning.


One of his hands snaked under her ass, and with a muttered, “Hold on, love,” he drew himself up, easily lifting them both. With a quiet yelp, Buffy’s hands shot around his neck, balancing herself. Opening the door, Spike carried Buffy inside and made for the stairs to the basement.


“We can go upstairs you know,” Buffy chided.


Smirking in amusement, he countered, “Can be louder in the basement.”


“Basement it is then,” she replied with a blush.


With that settled, Buffy found herself whisked through the door and down the stairs in a not-so-subtle fashion. As he walked, she began placing soft kisses along his neck. Equally as soft as the kisses were his answering purrs and growls. As they neared the bottom of the steps, however, Spike’s pace slowed to a stop. Confused, she called his name, but found his eyes hard; they seemed to bore into whatever they were focusing on.


“Got company, love,” was Spike’s only reply.



XXX



The intruder turned to look at their quarry as soon as they heard footsteps descending the stairs.
The figure seated on the bed was confused by the growls and purrs, however, with the shadows blanketing the staircase, it was impossible to tell why those sounds were heard. As Spike came to rest on the bottom step, his arms full of Slayer, the jig was most assuredly up.


“Good Lord, it’s worse than I thought. How DARE you let this monster seduce...” Giles began.


He was cut off quickly by an irate Slayer.


“How DARE I? I believe I made it perfectly clear what I thought of this whole charade, this...this betrayal. You were my father-figure Giles! I trusted you!”


“Buffy my dear girl, I understand that you feel some kind of...attachment...towards Spike. But you must realize that any attraction to a vampire is unnatural, not to mention unhealthy. The First...”


Spike cut in. “Trigger’s gone, you pillock,” he spat.


“Ah, well of course!” Giles began grandly, “If the vampire says it’s so it must be!”


As the two males traded barbs, tears of anger and frustration began to course down Buffy’s cheeks. One moment, she closed her eyes to release a fresh wave of tears, and the next, they were wide with horror. Giles had produced a stake and a cross, and was at current attempting to dust Spike. While the Watcher would usually provide no challenge to a vamp of Spike’s stature, the vampire in question was tired and battered from his earlier conflict with Wood. Not to mention, he was trying desperately not to injure the old man. Giles, however, was fighting like a man possessed. With one hand, he managed to singe Spike’s bare forearm with the cross. As Spike batted the cross away, where it clattered uselessly to the floor, Giles went for the kill.


There was only one problem. Not two inches from Spike’s heart, the stake remained frozen in time. No matter how hard Giles pushed, his arm refused to move forward. In his adrenaline-filled haze, he failed to notice Buffy rush to Spike’s aid and calmly grip the wrist holding the implement. As the fog of war lifted, Giles turned to look at Buffy, who still had silent tears streaking down her face. She whispered only two words.


“Get. Out.”


“Buffy – you CANNOT choose this abomination over...” Giles began, his intent for her to see reason clear in his eyes

.
Buffy turned her gaze from Giles to Spike. As her eyes found his, the pieces in her heart and mind locked into place. All became clear. Not bothering to look back at Giles, she spoke, still eerily calm.


“I can and have Giles. I love him, and he loves me.”


Giles’ agonized cry was immediate. “Good GOD Buffy, not again! Especially not after what he DID to you!”


Her eyes snapped back to Giles. “You have no say in the matter Giles. My personal life is my business, not yours. I need Spike to win this war.”


Not content to remain passive, Spike gently took the stake from the Watcher’s hand, then spoke just as calmly as Buffy had before him. “Buffy, love, I appreciate all this, but you need the Watcher as well.”


Sighing, she closed her eyes. “I know, Spike, but dammit all, I’m angry.” Opening her eyes, which remained fixed on Giles, she said to him, “You betrayed me again Giles. This is just like the Cruciamentum. You went behind my back and LIED to me. You have one last chance if you want it. But that’s all you get. I can’t take any more; I have enough to deal with right now.”


Shaking his head, Giles replied, “This isn’t what I wanted for you, Buffy. A vampire...soul or no soul, is hard to reconcile.”


“I know Giles, but it’s not your decision, it’s mine. And I trust him. I think I always have, even back when we were mortal enemies. The question is, do you trust me?”


“Buffy, I would need time to come to terms with this situation, and to no doubt earn your trust again. I’m not sure we have that time to spare, unfortunately,” Giles said resignedly.


Nodding her agreement, Buffy said, “Take a few days. Work with the girls. Think about what I’ve said. It really is my life Giles, I’m a big girl now. Trust me.”


Sighing his displeasure and nodding to admit his defeat, Giles looked older than he ever had in Buffy’s eyes. He turned and walked slowly up the stairs. Pausing about halfway up, he caught Spike’s eyes. The look clearly said, “Hurt her and you’ll wish I had staked you.” Spike merely nodded, message received loud and clear.


Once Buffy heard the door to the basement click softly closed, she slumped down onto the cot and covered her face with her hands. Though the tears had stopped, she was now even more drained. She barely registered Spike coming to sit down beside her and tossing an arm across her shoulders in a comforting gesture. Tiredly, she looked up at him and wrapped an arm around his waist.


“So...” he began.


“Yeah.” she replied.



XXX



Long moments passed before Spike found the words to express his thoughts.


“An’ here I thought I had a hell of a day. So sorry about that, love, didn’t mean to cause you any more trouble.”


Baffled, Buffy replied, “You didn’t cause any more trouble, Spike. It was all Giles. And Wood.”


Nodding, Spike conceded the point. Curiosity got the better of him, however.


“So...when did you know?”


Now she was really confused. She found herself once again replaying her earlier words. As she realized what she had said, her hand flew to cover her mouth. And at this, Spike’s heart broke a little more. Easing his arm off of her shoulder and scooted a few inches away. Buffy instinctively tightened her grip on his waist and pulled him back to her so that once again they were touching. Once she understood why he had pulled away, she spoke.


“I meant it Spike. I just didn’t mean for it to come out quite like that.”


“Or at all?” he retorted.


Growling, she put her free hand on the side of his face and none to gently turned him to face her. Slowly, so he would recognize her intent, she angled her head and forcefully placed her lips on his. She left nothing to the imagination, roughly dragging her tongue across his lips. As he started to respond, she pulled back and caught his eyes, still holding him steady.


“I do love you, Spike. I think I have for a long time now, I was just to afraid to admit it. I just wish I could have told you, not Giles.”


Swallowing audibly, he said, “Really? God Buffy, I love you so much, I never thought...”


“What? No, ‘I told you so?’”


Chuckling softly, he said, “Nah, rather be doin’ this.”


Leering in all the best of ways, he delighted in her giggle and resumed their kiss. This time it was his tongue demanding entrance, which she gladly granted. They dueled and danced, nipped and navigated, excited and explored. The kiss was neither rough nor gentle, it simply was. It was different this time. Instead of blindly mashing their mouths together, there was finesse. She discovered that she enjoyed these unhurried kisses much more than the frenetic ones of times past.


He could feel his body reacting as if in slow-motion. Long ago, his erection would have gone from soft to unbearably hard in moments. This time, it was a slow burn. It felt absolutely exquisite. When they broke so she could gulp down air, he shifted her to sit astride his lap facing him once again. Rather than ripping and tearing the fabric of each others clothing, he found it exhilarating to simply draw nonsensical patterns with his fingertips along her waist and stomach just underneath her shirt. She seemed to have the same idea, and was gently rubbing his shoulders and upper arms through the black fabric of his t-shirt.


Little mewls and moans began to spring from her mouth, and his answering growls were just as mellow. However, when she pulled back for air once more, he could see how glazed her eyes were with passion, and knew it was time to step things up.


Voice husky and dark, he murmured, “Take off your jewelry love, if kitty wants to play.”


Nodding, she carefully removed her earrings and placed them to the side. With shaking hands she went to remove her cross and was stopped by his more sure digits. The look in his eyes screamed ‘Trust me.’ And when she searched within herself, she knew that she did. Together, they removed her necklace and placed it by the earrings. She almost felt naked without it and he reassured her with a tender kiss upon her brow.


Slowly, he began placing more of those bone-melting soft, wet kisses upon her neck and that spot behind her ear while his evil fingers began inching her sweater up by the hem. He could feel her heart rate rise and her quickening pants tickled the side of his face. When he had raised her shirt to her bra-line, he paused both his kisses and the ascent of the sweater. His blue eyes, darkened with desire, found her own hazel orbs. He smirked and gently palmed both breasts. Her eyes snapped shut and she gasped in pleasure. He responded by groaning softly at the sound.


“No teasing tonight, Spike...just love me, please...” she begged.


Eyes rolling heavenward, Spike thanked whatever powers existed for giving this chance to him. Resuming his moderate pace, he finished removing the soft turtleneck. Underneath, he found the sexiest little red lace number he’d ever had the pleasure of viewing. Not able to help himself, his sure fingers traced the outline of the cups and watched in fascination as Buffy’s nipples pebbled. Catching her gaze, he winked and quickly ducked his head to capture one of the hardened peaks in his cool mouth. As he sucked and tasted, his hands slipped around her back to undo the clasp without difficulty.


As the garment fell away from her breasts, Spike eased it over her arms and proceeded to suck and nibble at the neglected twin. She moaned heartily as she finally felt flesh on flesh, and his answering growl made a fresh flood of moisture coat her already soaked panties. After he had paid both breasts equal attention, he carefully stood and sat Buffy down on her feet. She tilted her head in question, and his answering grin was sinful.


Spike hooked his finger inside the waist of her jeans and tugged her towards himself. Lightly kissing her on the lips, he held her eyes as he deftly unbuttoned her trousers and slid the zipper down, revealing a glimpse of the matching red panties. Kissing her more deeply, he began to ease her pants down. When they reached her knees, he seated her on the edge of the cot and kneeled down, unzipping her boots and removing them as well as her jeans and socks. Once she was clad in only her red lace panties, he sat back on his heels and drank her in.


Suddenly shy, Buffy broke eye contact and looked down to the floor. Chuckling softly at her bashfulness, even after all they’d done in the past, Spike let her have this moment of modesty. Not for long, though, as she quickly found her knees spread wide and her ass pulled to the edge of the cot. Her gaze locked back onto his, and found his eyes trained to hers while that wicked tongue was curled behind his teeth. Holding her gaze, he began to place light nips and suckles to her inner thighs, slowly moving towards her molten centre, all the while his hands and fingers mercilessly rubbed and tickled. Once his mouth reached her core, he blew cool air across her clit. At this, her eyes snapped shut and she moaned loudly. Expecting more, she was sorely disappointed when everything stopped.


Whimpering at the loss of sensation, Buffy took matters into her own hands. With a dainty foot, she pushed his chest away and watched with mirth as Spike tumbled backwards. Catching his motion with his elbows, he became sprawled out upon the concrete floor. She removed her sodden panties and tossed them onto the pile, leaving her bare mound glistening.


For the first time in long moments, words were spoken.


“I told you no teasing, mister,” Buffy said tersely, arms crossed, inadvertently pushing her naked breasts up and together.


Naturally, Spike was not exactly paying attention. Too distracted was he by the mouth-watering scent of her arousal and the perfect handfuls pressed together by her folded arms. Sighing, Buffy sat back down on the very edge of the cot and coyly crossed her legs. With one finger, she beckoned him to her, and mesmerized, her returned to his prior kneeling position on the floor.


Shaking off his lust and blatantly shifting his hard cock with one hand, Spike spread Buffy’s legs once more. This time, he planned to eat his fill. Palms flat on her inner thighs, he spread her legs wide, and as she felt the burn of muscles stretching, he spread her a little more. Finally satisfied with her position, he dove in and licked her outer lips from bottom to top and back again.


Buffy sucked in a harsh breath and gripped the metal of the cot’s frame as hard as she dared. Spike had always been especially talented in this department, but in the past she rarely let him play because she never felt that she deserved the raw pleasure his ministrations provided. Now she was under no such illusions, and moaned loudly as he ran his tongue between her folds and unerringly found her distended clit. He took it between his lips and sucked lightly for what felt like forever. Whimpering, Buffy gently stroked the curls at the nape of his neck. She moaned when he began to tap his tongue on her clit, sucking in between taps. When he slowly inserted one finger and pumped her slick passage, then two, then three...she wailed and came hard. Quickly switching his fingers and tongue, he covered her dripping hole with his mouth and slurped up every drop she had to offer while gently rubbing her clit with his thumb to prolong her orgasm.


After riding out the best orgasm she’d had in ages, Buffy slumped back against the wall, sated. As her breathing and panting slowed, she managed in a husky whisper, “Clothes off, now.”


“Awww, is kitty knackered already? Poor thing...and we’ve just begun.” Spike replied, licking his lips.


The growl Buffy produced was far from the feral ones Spike could, it got the point across. Spike made quick work of his clothes, toeing off his boots and socks first, whipping his shirt over his head next, and then, for her enjoyment, slowly removed his belt and slacks.


Patting the bed beside her, Buffy’s eyes were glued to Spike’s thick cock. He, however, had other ideas. In her sated state, Buffy was surprisingly easy to maneuver onto her back. Settling himself between her thighs, he propped himself up on his forearms and kissed her brow. She looked up with glazed eyes, and he could see the love in them. She lazily kissed his lips, tasting herself. When she mmmm’d at the flavor, she giggled as she felt his cock twitch.


“Oi! Can’ help it, kitten. Evil bugger has a mind of it’s own.”


Giggles subsiding, Buffy opened her legs and welcomed Spike inside. As he slid home, she looked deep in his eyes and said, “God I’ve missed this...love you...”


Groaning, he replied, “Keep tha up love an’ I’ll never last.”


“Don’t care...just need you to love me...”
Moaning, he began to thrust. Long, slow thrusts where each could feel every slip and every slide. The slap of flesh hitting flesh could be heard, along with moans and whimpers...the occasional ‘I love you.’ His plunges grew in intensity and speed, and her nails gripped his back ruthlessly, leaving claw marks. As they neared their peaks, Buffy knew it was time. Latching on to Spike’s neck, right over Drusilla’s siring mark, she sunk her teeth into his neck and growled, “Mine.” Shocked out of his mind, he couldn’t stop the demon from roaring to the forefront. After taking a few sips of blood and licking the wound closed, Buffy looked up at the yellow-gold eyes of the demon. Instead of fear, she felt nothing but love, and smiled warmly at him as she bared her naked throat. The demon kissed her throat gently, right over her previous bites. He eased his fangs into her skin, and the slow burn of pain triggered her orgasm.


Colors swam across Buffy’s vision, and she distantly heard him roar “Mine!” She felt his cold seed rush into her, and she felt nothing but complete.



Both sated and exhausted from the days’ events, the mated pair rested, having finally grasped peace.