Chapter 1
Buffy leapt up gasping as her entire body trembled. Looking down at her hands, she found no blood. It was just the dream again. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she got up to move about the room and heard a knock at the door.
“Buffy, you okay in there?”
“I’m fine, Spike. Go away.”
She heard him lean against the door, the sound of his body sliding down telling her he was sitting on the floor. “You know, Buffy, you can talk to me about this. I’ve been through it too.”
“Yeah, like a hundred years ago. You probably don’t even remember. Besides, maybe I don’t want to talk about it. Maybe I’m too traumatized.”
“Bollocks!” he yelled. “Suit yourself then, if the little slayer wants to keep everything bottled up, go right ahead.”
She didn’t respond to his bait, deciding to mull over his offer instead. Maybe she should talk to him about her nightmares. He was the only one who could understand, but did she want to make herself so vulnerable to him? He had claimed to love her once. What was love to him? He was probably mistaking his desire to get in her pants for the sentiment.
She’d been back from the dead, literally, for about a month now, and he’d been there with her the entire time. She hadn’t made it easy for him; actually, she’d made his life a living hell, but he stayed anyway. He had been so kind to her on her first day back. Cleaned her wounded hands and buttoned up her shirt when she hadn’t been able to. He hadn’t even made snarky comments or tried to get a peek at her when he did it. She remembered how he had told her he had kept an exact count of the days she was gone. How even though he hadn’t been able to save her that night, he had done so every night in his dreams thereafter. Buffy let out a deep sigh, and as she heard him getting up to leave said,
“Spike, wait.”
She walked over to the door and opened it. There he was, leaning against the wall, his platinum curls hanging loose, (When had he let his hair grow out?) he wore black pajama pants and a black fitted t-shirt. The sleeves were so tight she couldn’t help but stare at his muscular biceps. They weren’t huge, just defined. Spike’s entire body was well defined, tight, toned, and muscular.
“You okay, pet? Look like you might hyperventilate.”
He caught the way her eyes had glazed over while looking at him. Sucking in his cheeks, he asked, “Like what you see?”
Her face turned serious. “You’re a pig.” She went to slam the door in his face, but his hand came up against it, forcing it open.
“Seriously, Buffy, you’ve been having nightmares every night. You need to talk to someone.”
“How do you know?” she asked in disbelief.
“You think I can’t hear you? Vampire here. I hear your tears, Buffy. I sense your anger. I can hear you throwing things around in here.”
“Spike—“
He took her hand in his. “I watch you. I see how tired you are and how you cover it all up behind a fake smile, so your friends can’t see the hell they brought you into.”
She shook her head, silently begging him not to bring them into this.
“I know,” he told her. “They should be left to live their innocent lives, completely ignorant of the fact they almost destroyed you.”
“Spike!”
“Listen, Slayer, I’m just trying to tell you that you can’t talk to them for fear of tainting their innocence. So why not talk to me?”
“Fine.” She finally gave in. “But you are not coming into my room. We’re going downstairs to the basement.”
“Fine with me, pet. Not fond of all the pinks and flowers in here anyway.”
He allowed a smile to cross his face when she turned her back to him. Finally, he was making some headway with the girl of his dreams.
Once in the basement, she walked over to his cot and sat down. Spike looked at his angel sitting on his bed and fought the shiver that threatened to creep up his spine. He thought she looked strange and out of place sitting there, her green eyes watching him, her golden hair hanging loosely over her button up ‘yummy sushi’ pajama top. She looked like a frightened child. He looked above her and saw the manacles that she had used to hold him back not that long ago. Buffy Summers was complete contradiction. There she sat, innocent and hurt, in need of a friend. Yet at the same time she was the Slayer, a killer. She was strong, willful, combative, and his mortal enemy. Yet he loved her. In love with the Slayer. Even though he didn’t fully understand it himself, he knew he had to prove it to her, had to show her that he was capable of loving and that she was the one for him.
“Earth to Spike?” Her voice came crashing into his thoughts. She tilted her head to the side, giving him a curious look. “You there Spike?”
“Yeah, ‘m here. Ready to hear you out.”
He walked over and sat next to her on the cot. “So what’s got your knickers in a twist, Slayer?”
Buffy rolled her eyes at him but pushed herself back against the wall and made herself comfortable.
“Dreams,” she told him. “Nightmares, actually.”
She leaned her head back and groaned. “I just want to get a full night’s rest.”
Spike stared at her milky white neck all stretched out, waiting for him to bite. He took a mental picture of the vision and saved it for his dreams that night. He found it ironic that the Slayer had been plagued by nightmares since her return while he’d been having the most exquisite dreams. All featuring her of course.
“Maybe you need to talk about it, love. You know, get it out in the open.”
She raised her head and looked at him; he saw a spark of anger in her eyes. “What am I supposed to say, Spike? I can’t sleep at night because every time I close my eyes I open them inside a coffin. I have to claw my way out of my own grave every night, and there’s no one to talk to about it.”
He watched as her jaw tensed in an attempt to keep her chin from quivering. He noticed the way she clenched her hands into fists to keep the tears at bay. He put his hand on her shoulder as a means of support, but she pushed it away. Damn it slayer when will you realize that I won’t hurt you.
“What do I say to them? They’re my best friends. ‘Hey listen guys, I know you meant well but you actually ripped me out of heaven, and well, now I have to live in this hell called Earth where it’s hard for me to even breathe without feeling pain’?”
“Heaven? That’s where you were? In heaven?” He was gobsmacked; it was obvious that’s where she’d been. Where else would she have gone?
She looked into his blue eyes and nodded. He could see she was holding back tears. God forbid the slayer ever let her guard down, especially in front of me. When she seemed to finally regain her composure, she spoke.
“In my dreams, I always begin in peace. I don’t know where I am, but I feel complete. It’s like I have fulfilled my duty, and I’m happy and weightless. I don’t have to worry about anyone else because I’m done.”
He saw his angel return to him as her face lit up when she spoke about her feelings. This was the Buffy he loved. Having to watch the way she carried herself since she’d been back ate him up inside. She was an empty shell, a false smile always plastered on her face so no one could see that she was torn apart inside. No one did see. No one took the time to notice that she had stopped eating. Not a one of them saw the dark circles under her eyes. He saw. He saw the things everyone else refused to see. Perhaps they didn’t want to see. They closed their eyes to the fact that their friend seemed more like the walking dead than the Buffy who’d died. If they saw the truth, they would have to admit that what they did was wrong.
“Then there’s a sudden rush of emotion and energy, and when I open my eyes I find myself locked in a box. I can’t breathe. I panic, sweat, and then I start to claw my way out, waking with bloody hands.” Her hands shook as she stared at them looking for blood.
He took them in his. “It’s okay,” he whispered.
She shook her head at him. “No, it’s not.” Her eyes were large and pleading as she looked to him for relief. “I’m empty. I don’t even know how to communicate. Spike, I’ve held in my feelings for so long, I don’t think I could get them out. I’ve gotten so used to pretending to be someone I’m not that I don’t think I know who I am anymore. Why am I here? Where do I belong? Am I even the Slayer anymore?” Looking down at her hands in his she said, “They’re cold.”
“I’m dead.”
“I know. I just mean, they’re calming.”
“Are you admitting to taking comfort in me, Slayer?”
He eyes remained fixed on their joined hands, her thumbs stroking the tops of his. He closed his eyes enjoying the small sparks her touch sent through him. When she finally looked up at him, he saw that her eyes were full of the tears she refused to let go.
“I do like you, Spike. This is comforting, as much as I hate to admit it. You listen to me. You’re the only one who really sees me. You knew I hadn’t been sleeping. You’ve noticed me walking around like a zombie.” She stopped in order to regain her composure, looking down as she did so.
He put his hand on her chin, lifting her face up to look at him. “Let go, Buffy. You can trust me. Let go, or you’ll never get rid of what you’re feeling inside.”
He chin began to tremble and she bit her lower lip to stop it.
“Let go,” he repeated.
She shook her head and bit down harder on her lip.
“Buffy, let go.”
The tears started to stream down her face as she looked at him, his hand now moving to her cheek. “I’m afraid,” she choked out.
“Don’t be afraid. This is who you are. You are not all Slayer.”
She nodded and wrapped her arms tightly around him, placing her head on his shoulder. She began to sob, her entire body shaking as her hot tears ran onto his neck. Spike held her tightly in his arms and stroked her hair; his eyes closed as he took in her scent. He held her for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, her sobs began coming slower, and he could feel her breath coming in more steadily. She had her hand entwined in his hair and began playing with the curls in the back of his neck. He didn’t question the action, he merely reveled in it, amazed at how far she’d let him in.
After a while longer, he was convinced she’d fallen asleep. Her breathing had calmed down entirely. He didn’t look down at her for fear she’d wake and scramble away.
“Thank you, Spike,” she whispered in a tiny voice.
“You don’t need to thank me, Buffy. I’m here for you when you need me.”
Her breath was hot against his neck, and when she spoke her lips grazed against it. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply making sure to keep his emotions in check. It wouldn’t be right for him to scare his slayer away by attacking her with the deep kiss he was dying to give her.
“Mmm”
“Something wrong?”
“No. It’s just—who would have thought this could feel so good? I haven’t felt this calm and at peace in a long time.”
“Like I said, I’m here anytime, love.”
She smiled. “Spike?”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t want to move yet.”
“Stay as long as you need.” He didn’t want her to move either.
She lifted her head to look at him and he was saddened by what he saw. Her green eyes stared into his blue; he couldn’t take his gaze away from her plump red lips. He could tell she’d been chewing on the bottom one like she always did when she was nervous, deep in thought, distracted, or –come to think of it— always. She was constantly chewing on that lip, a quirk of hers which he absolutely loved. It made her human, less slayer-like. When she did it, he could see that there was a person behind her hard façade. He let his hand travel to her mouth and traced her lip with his thumb. He was surprised to see her close her eyes and breathe in deeply. Did she feel the same sparks he did?
“Shouldn’t bite your lip so much, pet.”
She opened her eyes and smiled her genuine Buffy smile, the one he hadn’t seen since she’d been back. That smile brought joy and happiness into his lifeless heart.
“What?” she asked when she noticed the look of astonishment on his face.
“Nothing. Haven’t seen that smile in a while s’all.” He couldn’t hold back his own smile.
“What’s wrong Slayer?” Now she was the one staring and he was uncomfortable. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“I think I have. Was that a smile I just saw? I’ve never seen that before. Didn’t think it was physically possible.”
“What can I say? Makes me happy to see the Slayer happy. Happier still to know I did it.”
She turned serious. “You did do it, Spike. You got it out of me. I don’t know how I’ll feel in an hour, but right now I feel good, happy even. Thanks to you.”
They locked eyes for a moment, but then she looked away nervously. “Thank you, Spike, and I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what, love?” He wanted her to look at him again. He’d almost seen caring in her eyes before.
“Because I’ve been so shitty to you. You’ve been nothing but nice to me since… well you know, since I’ve been back. All I’ve been to you is a bitch. Even before I was gone I was horrible.”
“It’s nothing, pet.”
“Listen, let me apologize. Since the day you told me about your feelings I’ve been awful. You’ve been, well, someone else entirely to prove that what you feel is true, and I’ve put up a wall.”
“Buffy,” He wanted to stop her from talking. He was afraid of what she would say.
She put her finger to his lips. “I need to say this. I saw it today, that it’s true. You do love me. Is it still true, Spike? Do you still love me?”
“Always true. Forever true.”
“I feel something for you too.”
He shook his head. “Don’t play games, Slayer, not about this.”
“No games, Spike. I promise. It’s not love, but I feel for you. You’re in here.” She took his hand and placed it over her heart.
“Slayer?” He leaned his head to the side as he looked at her, his eyes filled with hope.
She placed her hand on his cheek and continued to look at him, moving closer to him as she allowed her lips to brush over his.
“Is this a dream?” he asked, his eyes closed.
“Uh uh.” She kissed him again, gently, lips parted slightly. “Spike?”
“Hmm?”
She laughed. “Will you hold me tonight? Let me sleep with you? Maybe then the nightmare won’t come.”
“You trust me Slayer? Trust me enough to sleep in my arms?”
“I trust you completely.”
He nodded his head to let her know it was okay. He lay down on his side behind where she was sitting on the small cot, laying his head on his arm so he could see her face. She remained looking forward, deep in thought, her feet planted firmly on the ground. After a minute, she looked at him and smiled. She lay back with her backside toward his front and allowed him to place his arm around her waist. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of her.
“Love you, Slayer,” he whispered.
She took his arm and held it tighter to her. “Mine. All mine.”

When she opened her eyes again, she felt disoriented. The room was dark when she had expected it to be sunny. She let her eyes adjust to the darkness and looked around to the brick walls, realizing she was in the basement. Remembering what had happened during the night, Buffy quickly sat up on the cot. She looked at Spike and found him asleep. The small growling noises he was making put a smile on her face. “Like a little puppy,” she whispered. She allowed her hand to find its way to his cheek, gently caressing him so that his growling stopped.

“Mm, Slayer,” he mumbled. “My sunshine.”

She smiled again at his ramblings and leaned over to kiss his cheek then got up off the cot slowly and began to tiptoe her way upstairs. Spike sat up and stretched his arms.

“Where are you off to Slayer? Regretting last night?”

“Spike,” she said, stopping in her tracks. “I need to think. There’s so much going on in here,” she pointed to her head, “and in here,” she added, pointing to her heart. Without realizing it, she had moved closer to him.

“Buffy,” he took her hand in his, “don’t go back, please. Don’t put everything back inside you. Trust me. Remember that you can be yourself with me, and I won’t judge you.”

She nodded to show him she understood, but her feelings were so jumbled up inside her that she couldn’t speak.

“Last night you said that I was yours. Did you mean that?”

“I don’t know. I’m all mixed up, Spike. Please just give me some time. Let me understand what’s going on.”

He nodded. “Go.” She turned around and started up the stairs. “I love you, Buffy,” he called out. “Always have, always will. Nothing will change that.”

She turned to look at him. “Thanks.” She continued up the stairs.

“Thanks?” he asked. “Pour out my sodding heart, and all I get is a bloody thanks!” He lay back on the cot looking up at the ceiling. “What are you doing to me Slayer? You’re ripping me apart, and I don’t even know what I am anymore. Man or monster? Which do you prefer, love? Who am I kidding? She doesn’t want either.”
**********************************************************

Buffy sat and thought about how he loved her. No matter what, he loved her unconditionally. No questions asked, he loved her, and he knew her. He knew her inside and out. He didn’t expect her to be strong, in fact, he wanted less strength and more her, wanted more of the girl, not the Slayer. He loved her, and here she sat, incapable of love.

She hadn’t been able to love since Angel. She’d tried. She had tried to love Riley, but she hadn’t been able to. She cared, but that’s as far as it went. Once the other person started expecting her to let her guard down and let them into her heart, that’s when it stopped for her.
She thought that it was the slayer in her. The part deep inside of her that knew the Slayer was meant to be alone. No ties, no friends, just slayer versus demon. Now she was beginning to think that it was her— Buffy. After having had her heart torn out by Angel, she wasn’t willing to let her guard down. She also didn’t want to seem weak or vulnerable, these were things a slayer should never be. Her duty was to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders, being vulnerable or being weakened by love would make her falter in her calling.
What about the fact that Spike is a vampire, a soulless one at that. A slayer’s mortal enemy, she wasn’t a Vampire Slayer because she loved them. What could he offer her without a soul or heart? She was wrong. She knew damn well that Spike had a heart, a really big one. How many times had he laid it out on the ground for her? How many times had the vampire opened himself up completely only to have her stomp all over him? Oh my God, she was a horrible person! Sure, he didn’t have a soul, but did that mean he had no feelings? Of course he had feelings, and she had sat and watched as they had changed. She had witnessed how he had gone from evil to kind and sensitive, understanding and loving only to prove his love to her. What had she done in return? Kicked him while he was down, that’s what. To make things worse, she had spent the night with him. She had given hope when she was not sure there was any. She was damaged goods. She did not deserve his love.

Coming out of her reverie, Buffy took in her surroundings. She hadn’t even made it to her room. She sat on the kitchen floor leaning against the basement door, knees pulled up against her chest with her arms wrapped around them. She leaned her head back against the door in frustration. Oh Buffy, what are you going to do? You can kick demon ass no questions asked, but when it comes to the heart, you’re a mess! The feeling of Spike pushing on the door interrupted her thoughts.
“Bloody hell!” She heard from the other side of the door along with some other choice words.

“Spike, calm down I’m moving.” She slowly picked herself up off the floor making sure she remained against the door so that he wouldn’t be able to come out.

When she finally moved out of the way, Spike came hurdling through the door with such force that he almost ran into the kitchen island. Buffy stared at him, trying to hold in her amusement as he straightened himself out and turned around to glare at her.

“Figures, sodding Slayer would be in my way.” His face was serious as he looked at her, jaw clenched, cheekbones accentuated. He looked so sexy in his anger that she just wanted to forget her resolve and throw herself on him.
He seemed to sense the way her heart beat hard against her chest and how her blood rushed to her cheeks with such force it made her blush violently. A wicked smile crossed his face making her want him even more. She swallowed hard and pushed her feelings down deep inside, pulling up anger in their stead.

“You should watch your temper, Spike. It could get you hurt.” She signaled at the island to emphasize her meaning.

Spike was a vision of evil, standing a few feet in front of her. His hands were clenched into fists as he struggled with his inner demon, fighting hard, so it wouldn’t make an appearance. She watched as he took the couple of steps he needed to be directly in front of her. She found him hard to resist in his black leather duster, fitted jeans, and red button down shirt. She found herself staring at the tight black t-shirt he wore under the red shirt. She pictured his tight hard abs lying under the shirt, and this made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She was so consumed with desire; she did not notice that the black t-shirt almost touched her nose. She slowly lifted her head only to meet with his eyes looking down at her. He let out a deep growl, and she felt the vibrations emit from his chest into his throat. Buffy’s entire body shivered as small jolts of electricity jumped from between her thighs up to her heart.

“Spike,” she whispered taking a deep breath and closing her eyes in order to regain her composure. “I don’t have time for this crap.” She finally managed in her usual annoyed tone. “I have to go.” She spun around and practically ran away from him making her way into the living room and up the stairs to her bedroom.

“Fine, Slayer! Why don’t you do what you do best? Run away!” Once he heard her door slam he allowed himself to smile. She felt it too, the connection that ran between them. He sensed it in her body, saw it in her eyes and last night, he saw her love for him as well. Now all she had to do was admit her feelings to herself. His face turned serious again as he wondered just how long it would take for his slayer to allow herself to feel.
*******************************************************

Buffy slammed the door to her room and threw herself on the bed face down. “Argh!” she yelled into the pillow as she kicked her legs on the bed. That had gone incredibly wrong. He was not supposed to have turned her on. What was this? These feelings had come out of nowhere. Spike had always disgusted her, made her sick to her stomach. What had changed? Another shiver ran through her body when she closed her eyes and remembered him walking toward her like the predator he was. “Argh!”
Buffy turned on the bed and looked up at the ceiling taking a deep breath to calm her hormones. “Ok, don’t be childish, Buffy. Get up, go downstairs, and pretend this never happened.” She grabbed her pillow one last time, held it to her face and screamed into it as her legs kicked to bed. Once her tantrum was done, she threw the pillow on the floor and got up off the bed. She was halfway down the stairs, on her way to the kitchen when the doorbell rang. “What now?” she asked herself as she quickened her pace. “Coming.” Buffy swung the door open. What she saw on the other side of it made her jaw drop.

“Are you going to stare all day or invite me in?” he asked.

He stood outside the door, huddled under his coat which he held over his head, his fingers emitting smoke.

“Angel,” she gasped.

Chapter 3

“Angel,” she gasped. “Oh my God, come in!” She grabbed
him by the shirt and pulled him into her living
room. “You’re burning!”

He shook his head. “Just steaming.”

Putting his coat down on the couch, he looked around the house until his eyes finally landed on hers. He looked at her from head to toe. “Buffy. How are you? I mean, well, considering…”

“That I’m back from the dead? I’ve been better.”
He looked at her and she saw sadness and pity in his eyes. “Angel, don’t look at me like that, please.”

“I came as soon as I heard.”

“It’s been a month since I came back,” she told him.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“I didn’t think you needed to know.”

“What? I didn’t need to know? Buffy, part of me died when I found out about your…”

“Death.” Seriously, why couldn’t anyone say it? “No one mentioned you being at my funeral. Guess you didn’t go.” She shrugged her shoulders.

“Buffy,” he took her hand in his, “I couldn’t bring myself to see your body.”

They looked each other in the eyes and she found she no longer felt the spark that had once been there. Just then Spike swung the living room door open.

“Slayer!” he yelled. “Come down here. We need to tal—“ He choked on his words when he saw the scene in front of him.

There stood his slayer, holding hands with his grandsire, lost in his eyes. Buffy jumped abruptly and turned to Spike.
“Spike!” She felt her heart ramming against her chest when she saw the look of jealousy and pain on his face.

“Spike?” Angel said a look of confusion on his face.

Buffy ran over to the peroxide blonde and took his hands. “Angel just found out that I was back and came by to see if I was okay.” She didn’t understand why she felt the need to explain her ex’s presence to Spike, but she did.

Spike looked down at his hands in hers then over at Angel, reveling in the look of disbelief he saw in the poofter’s eyes. Angel stood staring at Buffy and Spike’s hands. When Buffy realized what was going on between the two vampires she quickly loosened her grip on Spike.

“Angel, Spike’s been staying here since we blew up his crypt. He had nowhere to go and we have a… basement… so, we let him stay.” She looked down at her feet, not daring to look into her ex’s eyes.

“Spike. You let Spike stay here, evil Spike, soulless Spike, vampire Spike?” Angel’s face was sheer anger. She could feel the trembling of his growls from where she stood.

“Hey mate, last time I checked you weren’t walking around outside enjoying the lovely sunshine either.” Spike snapped at his grandsire.

“That’s true Spike, but I have a soul.”

“Oh and I supposed that makes you better than me? Aren’t you high and mighty?” Spike waved his arms up in the air dramatically.

“Ok, Spike,” Buffy placed her hand over his chest, “why don’t you go in the kitchen and get yourself a drink? Dawn brought home some pig’s blood fresh from the butcher last night after work.”

Spike looked at Angel and growled. Then looking at Buffy said,
“All right, love, I’ll get out of your hair, but if you need me just holler and I’ll come running.” He leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek, then shot Angel a look of warning, before turning and leaving.

Buffy stared after him, her cheeks burning and tingles running up and down her body. He’d been such an ass just a few minutes ago and now he was acting like they were a couple. Was it because he needed to prove something to Angel?

“So, you two are an item now?” Angel attempted to sound casual but the question was ground out in anger.

“What? No!” How was she going to explain this?

“Buffy, he’s all over you. I can smell him.”

“Angel, I just- wait, eww.”

“Vampire here. Can’t help it.”

“Well don’t tell me about it. Anyway, I needed someone to talk to, someone to be here. Do you know what it’s like to come back from the dead? To have to dig yourself out of your own grave?”

“Actually, yes, I do Buffy.”

“Well then you can understand why I wouldn’t want to be in the house by myself.” She tried her hardest not to roll her eyes at him.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. It just, well, it took me by surprise. Seeing you two, the way he was holding you, the way you understand each other. It looked like you’re a couple.”

“Yeah, it’s taken me by surprise too.”

“He’s been here for you then? You haven’t had to do this by yourself?”

Buffy looked down at the floor. “It’s complicated Angel.”

He walked to her and took her hand, placing his other one under her chin and lifting her head up to look at him. “Buffy, how’ve you been? Honestly. You look like you’ve been through hell.”

“Thanks,” she said sarcastically.

“You know what I mean. You look tired and well, are you eating? You can’t still be patrolling like this Buffy. Tell me you’re been taking a break.”

She shook her head. “Slayers don’t take breaks Angel.”
Buffy walked over to the couch and threw herself down on it. Angel just looked at her and wondered what it was about her that was different. There was something more than her physical appearance.

Spike stood by the kitchen door and tried to listen in on what was happening in the living room. Why the devil is he here?

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Buffy asked Angel.
She could almost see the thoughts running through his mind.

He walked over and sat down next to her. “Do you love him Buffy?”

She looked at him, shock written all over her face. “I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

“That’s my Slayer,” Spike whispered to himself from the kitchen.

“I know, I know Buffy. I’m not in your life anymore, but-“

“That’s right Angel. You left. You made a conscious decision to leave me, and you lost the right to know about my personal life when you did that.”

“I know Buffy but…”

“Angel,” she said, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “He was here. He’s been here. Every moment of this, from the moment I came back, he’s been here for me.” She smiled. “He’s been sitting outside my bedroom door at night, making sure I’m all right. He doesn’t know I know. Every night since I’ve been back I have sensed his presence right outside my door. So yeah, how could I not feel something for someone who will allow himself that much vulnerability? He sees me, Angel. He gets me in ways no one else does. But love? I don’t know about love. Maybe someday, I don’t know.”

Angel nodded his head in understanding. He got up and looked toward the door. She shot up off the couch.

“You’re not leaving are you?”

“Buffy, I came to see that you were alright, and now I see that you are. It’s time for me to go.”

“Angel, stay. Just for tonight. L.A.’s so far away, and you need to rest before you drive back. Willow’s gone for the week-end, why don’t you stay in her room?”

“Do you want me to?” He stepped closer to her, the hope evident in his eyes.

Buffy looked down at the floor and stammered, “O-of course.” She shyly peaked up at him and he smiled.

“Then, I’ll stay.”

Upon hearing his adversary say those words, Spike made his way out of the kitchen making sure his demeanor remained calm. The last thing he wanted to do was make a scene. In past years that would have been exactly what he’d done. Not now, not in front of Buffy. He loved her too much to set her feelings into unease; he knew that’s exactly what the tension between him and his grandsire would do. Instead, Spike approached the poofter with a smile plastered on his face and slapped his arm around the back of his shoulder.

“So, I hear you’ll be staying with us for the night.” Angel looked from the hand on his back to Spike’s face. “Why don’t I show you to your room?” Spike continued in a sugar coated voice. On the inside he wanted to tear Angel’s head off and turn him to dust.
Sensing the tension between them, Buffy walked over to the pair. She took Spike’s hand off of Angel’s back and gave him a threatening look. Spike did not notice, his attention was on the way she held on to his hand even after having removed it from Angel. The taller vampire looked down at their joined hands causing Buffy to follow his eyes and quickly release her hold on Spike. Looking the blonde in the eyes she said,

“I’ll show Angel to his room.” Then she smiled and added, “But thank-you for offering.”

Spike noticed a tone of sarcasm in her voice and saw her anger in the way she had plastered a smile on her face to cover it up. “You stay down here and watch Passions or something.”

He walked over to the couch and unceremoniously threw himself on it. “Fine, have it the way you want it, love. Just tryin’ to help out.”

She placed her hand on Angel’s back and turned toward the stairs throwing Spike a threatening look before going up. He held his hands up and shrugged as if he had no bad intentions and was truly trying to help.

Once upstairs, Buffy showed Angel to Willow’s room. “You can sleep here tonight.” She walked over to the window and closed the shades. “ These block the light pretty well but there are extra drapes in the closet if you think you need to use them.”

He nodded as he sat on the twin size bed. The sight of the dark, brooding vampire on the pink floral bedding made her want to laugh. “Well, I guess I’ll let you get settled.”

She felt him grab her arm as she turned. She turned back to him, aiming her punch at his face but he caught it in his hand. Buffy blushed in embarrassment. “Sorry, slayer reflex.”

“It’s okay. Good to know you’re on top of the game, even after everything.”

“Yeah.” She had no desire to discuss her ordeal any further. She looked down at her feet and wondered if she’d ever stop feeling so out of whack every time someone mentioned her death and resurrection to her. The mere mention of it made her feel like she didn’t belong, she felt out of place and awkward.

“Buffy,” his voice thundered into her thoughts, “stay?”
She looked at him and saw the pleading look in his eyes. She had never been able to deny that look, so she nodded and sat next to him on the bed. Taking her hand in his, he placed it on his lap.

“How are you, really?”

She looked at where his eyes rested on their joined hands and then back up into his eyes. “I’m good, Angel,” she lied. “It’s all strange and everything is different since I’ve been back but, things are starting to look up.”

She thought of Spike and the night they’d spent together. A smile spread over her face and Angel took it as a sign of her being alright after all. He didn’t however, like the thought of Spike living with her and he did not like the small signs they’d shown of their coming together. Seeing that he was in deep thought, Buffy pretended to yawn deeply in order to avoid the conversation she knew he’d want to have with her. He awoke from his reverie, looked at her and smiled. “It’s late,” he said. “You must be tired. Why don’t you get some rest?”

She smiled. “You mean, it’s early and you need some rest. My day’s just begun.”

He smiled back. “You’re right. Good night Buffy or good morning, rather,” he said leaning over and kissing her cheek.

“Good night, Angel.” She told him and kissed him in return.

She left the room and shut the door behind her. Taking a deep breath, she pushed herself forward and walked down the stairs mentally preparing herself for the confrontation that would surely take place with Spike.

Chapter 4
She found him sitting on the couch with his legs stretched over the coffee table watching TV. Sensing her coming up behind him he asked,

“Is Captain Forehead settled in alright?”

“Yes. Angel’s all set in Willow’s room.”

“Oooh, that’s the room next to mine. And farthest from you.”

“No. That’s the room next to Dawn’s. Your room is in the basement, remember?”

“Lucky for me the bit’s sleeping over Janice’s tonight.”

“What? When did that happen? She didn’t ask me.”

“Bit asked Willow yesterday ‘fore she an’ Tara left on their trip. Going to her bestie’s after work tonight.”

“Willow,” Buffy practically growled. “Fine, but don’t you dare touch Angel. If you hurt him, I will stake you on the spot, got it? There will be no fighting while he is here. Not the physical kind or the talky kind.”

“Bloody hell, Slayer do you think I’d do something like that to you? Know how much it’d hurt you if I even came close to hurting the mighty poofter. Do you think I’d be the cause of your pain? What was the point of last night then?”

She felt her face turn bright red with chagrin. She didn’t know why she’d reacted like that. Old habits she figured, but there was no way she was going to apologize to him after he’d just yelled at her like that.

“Look, Spike. I don’t have the time or the patience to get into this with you. I’m tired and I’m going to my room!” She turned around so quickly that her hair flicked against his face.

“Fine, Slayer, go ahead and do what you do best. Run away!”

He heard her bedroom door slam shut and threw himself on the couch again, his arms crossed against his chest. What did he have to do to make her be Buffy again?
She marched up the stairs to her room, making sure to give him two or three steel glances before slamming her bedroom door shut for the second time that day. Once she was in, she let the tears come. Before she knew it, she was sobbing into her pillow. There were so many emotions pent up inside her that she felt as if she were falling apart. Now with Angel’s arrival, she felt as if she were being torn in two. Part of her wanted to figure out what there was between she and Spike, while the other part of her wanted to run into Angel’s comforting arms which she knew so well. Arms that she knew would never turn on her like another vampire’s might. Arms that don’t make your entire body tingle and tremble the way Spike’s do. That thought made her cry harder into her pillow. A knock on her door forced her to pull it together.

“Buffy? Are you okay in there?” Angel’s concerned voice made her feel even guiltier about wanting Spike.

Swallowing hard and trying to gain some control over her voice, she said, “Yes Angel, I’m fine.”

He frowned at the door, knowing that she was not fine, but understanding how stubborn she could be when it came to accepting help.

“Buffy?”

“Yeah?”

“If you need me for anything, to talk or just for company, you know where I am. Come find me.”

“Okay.”

She lifted her head off the pillow and tried to sense his presence. He stood at the door for about another minute then walked away. When she couldn’t feel him anymore, she threw her head back down and continued crying. It was as if all of the last month’s feelings of anger, resentment, and confusion were coming out of her all at once. She cried and cried until she had no more energy left and fell asleep.
**********************************************************
When she woke again it was to shoot up from the bed into a sitting position. Her forehead was sweaty and she gasped hard for air. She quickly looked down at her hands turning them over as she examined them.

“No blood. Just a dream. No blood.” She needed to remind herself in order to keep the hysteria at bay.

She threw her blankets off and began pacing across the room thinking about how to possibly get back to sleep. Looking out the window she saw that it was dark out. Looking down at her clothes, she decided that if she changed into something more comfortable maybe she’d be able to get back to sleep. Buffy glanced at the bed and sighed. There was no way she was going to fall back asleep and be nightmare free, but she was so tired.

There was just one thing to do. She opened the door to her room and walked toward his as quietly as possible. She stopped when she reached the door and wondered if she should knock. Shaking her head she decided against it. It would just be easier to slip in; this way there wouldn’t have to be any talking. She only wanted to sleep now.

She walked into his room as quietly as she could and looked at him on the bed. Dead. Vampires didn’t breathe, and didn’t even bother with pretense when they slept. How can I seek comfort from a dead body? She shrugged and walked over to the bed. Being careful not to wake him, she slowly moved his arm and pulled the covers down. She tucked herself in, snuggling up to him and laying her head on the pillow. Without waking up, on instinct, he turned toward her so that his chin rested just over her head. He put his other arm around her, making Buffy smile at the comfort he provided and was asleep within minutes.

Chapter 5
When Spike awoke he had to rub his eyes to make sure what he was seeing was real. Wrapped up in his arms was the slayer. When did she come in? Why hadn’t he sensed her, and had he really been that angry at her that he hadn’t stood outside her bedroom door like he always did? Bad on you, mate. Apparently it didn’t matter to her because she had found her own way to him. She lay on his bed with her back against his chest, her head on his arm and her hand holding on to his for dear life. He was staring at the back of her bare shoulders, the only part of her that wasn’t covered in blankets. He admired her beautiful soft, bronzed skin. Unable to resist the urge to place his lips on her shoulder, he leaned down and gave her a soft kiss.

Her eyes shot open and she remained frozen as she tried to understand where she was. It was dark, very dark, but the clock in front of her read eight A.M. The memories of last night’s nightmare and her walk to his room came back quickly when she felt her hand in his. She turned to face him, making sure not to move the blankets that covered her. For some reason she felt cold.

“Good Morning,” she greeted him with a smile on her face.

“Mornin’, love.”

“Mmm” She smiled again and rested her head in the spot between his neck and shoulder. He adjusted his body in order to make her more comfortable.

“Rough night, Slayer?”

“Nightmare.”

He decided to take another chance and kissed her forehead gently. She closed her eyes as he did so, and did not put up any defense.

“Spike,” she said looking up at him.

“Yeah?”

“About yesterday…”

Spike put a finger to her mouth. “S’okay, pet. We’ll figure it out Please don’t talk about it anymore. Let’s just lay here holding each other, let’s enjoy the moment.

“Why do you sit outside my bedroom door?”

He gave her a blank stare.

“I can feel you. Every night since I came back you’ve sat outside my door. Why?”

“I didn’t want you to be alone when the nightmares came. I didn’t think anyone of them would understand. I didn’t think you knew I was there before the other night.”

She brought her mouth to hover just over his then gently came down for a soft kiss. He closed his eyes, allowing his body to hum in delight.

“What was that for?”

“It was thanks,” she answered then sat up throwing the sheets off as she stood from the bed.

“Where you going?” he asked in a bit of a panic.
She looked at him then crossed her legs. “I have to pee.”
She watched as he looked her up and down in a very slow, predatory way, making her slightly uncomfortable while at the same time sending shiver of pleasure through her. “Jesus, Slayer! If I’d known that’s what you were wearing last night I’d have been the one to slip under the covers with you.”

She looked down at herself and saw what she had chosen for pajamas last night in her post nightmare panic- or had she done it intentionally? She wore black shorts that crept up her thighs exposing her shapely tan legs and leaving nothing to the imagination. Over her shorts she had a matching tank top which had tugged down a bit in her sleep leaving her barely there cleavage exposed. She looked at him and blushed as a small smile spread across her face.

“Definitely a slayer’s body.” He smiled wickedly and lifted an eyebrow at her. He sat up on the bed and leaned over the side, ruffling through Dawn’s pile of clothes until he found his own t-shirt from the night before. “Here,” he said as he threw the shirt at her, “put that on, don’t want dear old granddad out there ogling you.”

She looked at him and smiled, enjoying his jealousy. She couldn’t help but stare at his muscles as well. His chest was milky white and every inch of his stomach was perfectly chiseled into divine little squares. She caught herself staring and noticed that he had picked up on her almost zombie like state. She bit her lower lip causing him to adjust himself under the covers as he was sure he felt his boxers grow into a bulge. What was it about the slayer that made him like this? A vampire awake at eight in the morning, sleeping in a bedroom instead of a crypt, spending his nights sitting on the other side of her door instead of hunting for food. It was love. Loving the slayer was making him crazy.

Buffy blushed again and threw the black t-shirt on over her jammies. “Fine, but I highly doubt Angel will be up now. What with the sun being out and all. I’ll be right back. By the way, Spike?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re a pig.” She smiled as she sauntered out the door.

Spike threw his head back down on his pillow. “Bloody hell!” She’d looked even better in his shirt than in that slinky outfit she had on under it. “Cold shower, need a cold shower.”
*****************************************************
She walked toward the bathroom with a huge smile on her face. He’d been so jealous of Angel, right from the moment he’d walked in the door. She turned serious as she thought of her previous lover, what was he doing here, why had he come back? Why wait a month after her resurrection to come back.

When she reached the bathroom she opened the door and her jaw dropped open at what she saw.

“Buffy!”

Standing in the bathroom was Angel, fresh out of the shower, dripping wet, completely naked.

“A-Angel,” She tried her hardest to compose herself. “I, uh, had to pee.” He grabbed his towel off the floor and quickly wrapped it around his waist. “I didn’t think.” She stared at his chest and struggled to find words as she admired is wide shoulders, his sides and his gorgeous six pack. She couldn’t tear her eyes away. “It’s daylight.”

He looked at her, his eyes wandered up her legs enjoying their beautiful color then back up to her lips, mesmerized by the way she chewed on the bottom one, he wanted those lips on his. He wanted to be the one biting that plump bottom lip.

“I… L.A.’s got me on a completely different schedule.”

“Oh.” She couldn’t stop staring. “Oh! Well, let me get out of your way so you can get dressed.” She finally snapped out of her reverie when she noticed the way he was suddenly frowning at her.

“That’s a nice shirt you have on, Buffy.”

“Oh, this? This is Spi- “Understanding dawned on her.

“Did you spend the entire night with him?”

“Angel-“

“I can smell him all over you Buffy, his scent is everywhere.”

“You don’t understand.” She took a step toward him, to explain what had happened.

He took a step back. “Do you know who Spike is, did you forget about the things he’s done to you, to me?”
She shook her head. “He’s different now. Changed.”

“Vampires don’t change, Buffy.”

She felt her body tense up as her anger built. “You changed.”

“Because I got a soul.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying. You haven’t been here, you don’t know. He’s been here for me, listening,
he understands me.”

“Do you think that’s been genuine, Buffy? Spike isn’t sensitive. He doesn’t care! All he wants is to get in your pants, and from the looks of it he’s succeeded.”

She shook her head at him, she was boiling with anger. “What kind of a person do you think I am? He has listened to me. I trust him, I know that it comes from inside him, his sentiments are genuine. I don’t doubt that. I don’t know about yours.”

“Mine?” A look of hurt and shock crossed his face.

“I’ve been back for a month, Angel. A month! You didn’t come back until now. I haven’t heard a word from you. You didn’t call, you didn’t even come to my funeral!” She swallowed back her tears, determined not to let him see her pain.

“Buffy, I didn’t know. I didn’t know you came back. I couldn’t go and see your- I couldn’t see you with no life inside. It was too much.” The pain of losing her was evident in his face.

“Spike did. He came to my funeral, he’s been here, he’s seen me without life inside and he’s stayed. I’ve been dead inside from the moment I came back. Did you know I was in heaven? They ripped me out of heaven. I can’t sleep and the only person who cares, the only person who gives a damn is Spike.”

“Thing, Buffy, not person. He’s a thing.”

“You’re a thing too Angel. A monster!”

“Don’t you think I know that? Why do you think we’re not together? He’s using you. He wants you weak and vulnerable so he can make his move.” He was almost in tears. He could not watch the woman he loved run into the arms of someone as evil and cruel as Spike.

“I’m using him! The only time I feel alive, like I’m actually here and life is worth living is when I’m with him. If being with an evil monster is what it takes to make me want to be in this awful place then I will be with him as long as it takes to make this emptiness inside me go away.” It wasn’t true, but she had to hurt him. She couldn’t sit there and take his abuse any longer.

“There’s something wrong with you, Buffy.”

“Gee, ya think?”

“I’m leaving, going back to L.A. I can’t see you like this, watch you do this to yourself. I can’t be here for you when he lets you fall.”

“Fine, leave. It’s what you do best!” She turned to leave but turned to him again, “You’re no longer welcome in this house Angel. I’ll make sure you never step foot in here again.” She turned around and walked away.

Chapter 6
Buffy ran toward Dawn’s room and closed the door behind her. She fell to the floor, her hands over her face as she sobbed uncontrollably. She couldn’t wrap her head around what had just happened, had she and Angel just ended their friendship? Had she chosen Spike over the man she had once thought she’d spend the rest of her life with?

Spike sat and watched her from the bed, staying quiet, afraid to disturb her. He watched as she fell into a million pieces, and struggled with the need to help her and the anger he felt at the words he’d overheard her speak. I’m using him. He finally made the decision to stand up and help her. They’d hash the other out when she was calm. Crouching down in front of her, he took her hand in his. He would save her from drowning in her emotions again.

“Buffy, what happened? Talk to me.”

She looked up at him and smiled through her tears as he pushed a stray hair behind her ear.

“What is it Slayer? What happened?”

“You never call me Buffy. I like the way it sounds when you say it.”

He placed his hand on her cheek and she leaned her face into it. She held his hand with both of hers and lifted it up to her lips, placing a gentle kiss on it. “You’ve been so good to me, Spike. I’ve been a real bitch.”

“No. Don’t talk like that, love.”

“It’s true. All I do is push you away. How many times have you laid down your heart for me and what have I always done, what do I always do? I stomp all over it.”
He ran his hand through her hair, shaking his head and telling her it didn’t matter. She looked at him, really looked into his blue eyes and she saw no sign of a monster. She saw love, kindness and caring. Buffy leaned into him and kissed him. She kissed him with such fervor that his body gave him no choice but to respond. He felt her tongue inside his mouth and let out a moan. He felt her hand run through his hair and when he put his hands on her face he felt the wetness of her tears. What was the slayer doing? He felt himself being pulled down to the floor to lie over her, her hands trying desperately to undo his belt. He knew there was something wrong. He knew he needed to talk to her, get her to open up to him again, but much as he wanted to, needed to, he could not tear his mouth away from hers. Her mouth was hot and soft; he bit at her lower lip and couldn’t believe it when she moaned in response. He could get lost in her forever. But he wouldn’t. Not with her words to Angel still hanging over his head. I’m using him.

“Buffy, stop.” It took all of his will power to pull away.

He finally realized what it was that could have happened to her in the few minutes she’d stepped out of the room just as she succeeded in unbuckling his belt. There’s something wrong with you, Buffy. Angel had hit her where it hurt. He pulled his mouth away from hers and stood up off the floor, leaving her to look up at him questioningly.

“That wanker!”

Buffy’s eyes opened wide when she understood what he was thinking. She immediately jumped to her feet as he stormed out the door in a fury. Buffy followed close behind. Spike moved through the hallway, looking for his grandsire in every room. Giving up his search he stood in the hallway and called out,

“Angel, you broody bastard, get out here now!”

Buffy watched as Spike’s visage suddenly changed from human to Vampire, and jumped when he let out a loud growl. He was so angry he could no longer hold back. Angel had hurt her and she should not have to deal with any more pain. She walked up to him and slowly lifted her hand up to touch his cheek. He growled and pushed her hand away. It didn’t bother her. She understood why he’d done it. Angel had done the same thing. Their monster did not deserve to be loved. She placed her hand back on his cheek, this time making sure to look directly into his eyes.

“He’s gone, Spike. He left.”

Spike let out one last growl and she felt it reverberate through her body. It made her thighs shake and her body tingle. She watched the vampire that stood in front of her as his face changed back into its human counterpart, and stood amazed at the power he had over her body. He placed his hand over hers, leaning his head to the side.

“Why? What did he do to you, Slayer?”

She smiled at him even as the tears streamed down her face. He would always call her Slayer. She looked down for a moment, then back up into his blue eyes, it was too easy to get lost in them.

“It doesn’t matter. I chose you.”

He looked at her and cocked his head to the side, he was surprised at her words and wanted, needed her to say more.

“I-I want you,” she told him.

“Heard you tell him you were using me. I’m not a thing, Buffy. You can’t just use me and throw me away.”

“I wanted to hurt him. He hurt me so badly, I needed him to hurt. That’s why I said it, Spike. I didn’t mean it. You have to believe I didn’t.”

He looked into her eyes and he knew. It was clear as day, she hadn’t meant it at all. She’d just been fighting back. One thing remained on his mind; one question he needed answered before he took this delicate angel and wrapped her in his embrace. He needed to know one thing…

“I have no soul,” he whispered.

She shook her head at him. “You have a heart. I’ve seen it; it’s been there all along. You love me; you’ve sacrificed yourself and the things you love for me. You’ve shown me that you are a man, not a monster. How can I ever doubt your heart? I don’t care about a soul; all that matters is your heart.”

That was all he needed to hear. She wasn’t able to tell him but he knew she loved him. If she didn’t love him now, it was only a matter of time before she did. He slipped his arms around her small waist and leaned into her mouth. He watched as her eyes closed and her lips parted slightly as she waited for their mouths to meet. He kissed her gently, his lips lightly brushing over hers, she shuddered under him and this made him want her more. He came back down on her mouth with full force and found himself pushing her further into him. Had she lacked slayer strength, been merely human, he may have broken her back. The slayer gave as much as she got, she moaned into his mouth and pulled hard on his hair. It hurt, would have turned him off had he been human but her force drove him on and he grabbed at her bottom as he felt her climb onto him, wrapping her legs around his waist. Spike carried her into his room, not once removing his mouth from hers.

They fell onto the bed, he on top of her and it was then that he pulled away and took her in. Her eyes looked into his, wild with desire. Her breathing was heavy and her hair was a vision, unkempt and unruly around her face. He smiled as he tucked a lock behind her ear. She cocked her head to the side, questioning his kind gesture in a moment of roughness and desire.

“Do you want this, Slayer?” When she nodded he said, “Do you want this for what it is or is there another reason? Are you doing this because of him or for me?” He needed to know. He couldn’t make love to her, fuck her, whatever it was they were about to do unless it was for the right reasons. He would not let Angel win; he would not have her toy with his emotions. Not anymore.

“Damn it Spike!” She tore her eyes away from his and turned her head to the side.
It was an awkward situation, there she lay under the incredibly sexy vampire, legs wrapped around him, feeling all of his manly weight on her, and he ruined it by letting reality back into the moment.
He turned her face back toward him with his hand. She didn’t like what she saw, panic in his blue orbs.

“Are you saying?” He pronounced each syllable slowly and with control, as if any second now he might break down.

“No. God, Spike, no.”

He let out a deep breath. “Buffy, you’ll be the death of
me.”

Buffy. He said her name. He was serious, this was no joking matter. “You’re already dead, Spike,” she told him with a smile.

“Bu-“

She covered his mouth with her hand. This wasn’t the time for jokes, she got it.

“Ok, look,” she let her hand drop from his mouth. “It’s not him, but this needs to be special. I need time. Not that I don’t want this, don’t think I don’t want this. My entire body is shaking, I want this so badly.”
She had diarrhea of the mouth. That was her, give her a demon and she’d kick it’s ass into next week, give her feelings and she was a complete mess. “I mean, I can’t say that I wouldn’t get a little pleasure out of pissing him off. But then, maybe that’s why we should wait. I mean, too, the whole emotional up and down I’ve had has me completely exhausted. I probably wouldn’t be any good, and I could be good, at least I think I could be good. Really good.”

“Slayer!”

She looked up at him abruptly, suddenly aware that he’d been looking at her the entire time she had rambled on. His face was serious and she wondered if she had angered him. He looked at her and felt convinced that this was the most he’d ever heard her talk. The slayer was never one for talking, she had always been more about action and there had been more silence and twice as much action since her return from the grave. He couldn’t help but smile at how adorable she had been rambling on in her nervous state. Damn it, Slayer! I can’t even be mad at you.

Taking his smile as a sign of peace between them, she ventured a request. “Spike?”

“Love?”

Oooh, she was back to being ‘love’, back in his good graces. “Can I sleep here a bit? Will you hold me? I’m exhausted.”

He slid from above her and slipped in next to her on the bed. She tucked her head into the crook of his neck and lay on her side, her arm over his bare chest. He kissed the top of her head and played with her hair. He relaxed beside her, her breathing had become steady and within minutes she was making smacking noises with her mouth.

“Mm, Spike,” she mumbled.

He closed his eyes when he heard her words. Slayer, it’s there. I know it is, your love for me. At that moment he made a decision. He would fight for her. She loved him, he knew. He’d fight for her until she was able to tell him those three words he ached to hear.
She moved her hand away from his chest and placed it on his cheek. He lowered his head and kissed her forehead. She was his Slayer now. She finally belonged to him and he was determined to make her happy again.