A/N: Has not been betaed. So if you see any errors or whatever, just let me know. Thanks.
A/N2: Because of the misunderstanding, I have changed much of this fic so it will not reflect CousinJean’s fic, The Butterfly Effect. I did not know that there was a fic similar to this one. The only thing I heard of with that title is the Aston Kutcher movie. I have never tried to steal anyone’s work before. It was pure coincidence that it happened that way and I am sorry. I hope this doesn’t change your opinions on my work. I just hope that we can put this in the past and move on. Again sorry for the misunderstanding.
A/N3: Thanks to Bloodshed Baby for the suggestions on what I should change.

**********


Chapter 1-

After losing the love of her life, Buffy Summers retired from slaying and moved to Half Moon Bay, just north of San Francisco. It was as far away from Los Angeles and Sunnydale as you could get, which it was why Buffy chose the small town in the first place. She needed to get far away from that life and live normally for a while, but wasn’t ready to leave California for England just yet. It would mean leaving Spike permanently, and that wasn’t a choice for her at that moment. It was hard enough leaving Spike behind to die.

Buffy and Dawn had purchased house on the beach with help from Giles. It was white two-story house with distressed blue shutters, and a white picket fence. It was the only house on the block that called out ‘Home’ for the sisters.

It was a fixer-upper, but the girls didn’t mind. It gave them something to think about other than slaying and mourning their friends. Even Xander stopped by in those first weeks to give the girls a hand with the some of the heavier construction that needed to be done. He didn’t say much during that time. He just did what needed to be done and left. It only reminded Buffy what she lost. If only she’d done something in the weeks before, he may just have believed her.

The girls had painted in soft pastels all through out the house. They wanted the house to have peace and tranquility.

Inside off to the left was a staircase that led up to the two bedrooms and a bathroom. Along the wall, up the stairs, were pictures of Buffy, Dawn, Giles, Willow, and Xander. Downstairs and to the right of the staircase was a small living/dinning room area, and to the back was a kitchen and a pantry.

On the far wall in the living was a love seat with a white slipcover over it and colorful pillows strategically lined up on it. In front of that, was a medium size coffee table, and on the sides of the love seat were small side tables with small lamps sitting a top of them. Next to that, a large window seat with lots of pillows as well. Across from that, was an antique rocking chair, which Buffy had purchased at a local antique shop in town.

The dinning area was small and only had enough room for a small round table and chairs, Buffy and Dawn found in the attic. It was meant for that small space, the girls had thought as they brought it down and restored it.

Upon walking into the kitchen, the stove was to the right, and a crossed from that was the sink. Above the sink was a nice size window, looking out on to the ocean. The cabinet doors were painted a blue color and white had been painted on the outer edges of the cabinets. A small kitchen table a lined the other wall and next to that, a small closet that was used as a pantry, and then there was the door that lead out to the back deck.

***
Tossing and turning in her sleep, Buffy dreamed about those last moments with Spike. In the dream, she saw Spike dust, which jarred from her sleep violently, calling his name out.

In the days since his death, Buffy kept having the same dream, over and over. She chalked up to her missing him.

Nights like that, she would take a walk on the beach, or sit on the rocks behind their house, overlooking the ocean, sometimes reading some of Spike’s poetry. It was the only thing she had left of him now.

Taking a few deep breaths, she calmed herself down enough to push the blankets back, and hopped out of bed. She then crossed the room to the door and Dawn had run by in a blur as she opened it.

“Sorry,” Dawn shouted, heading towards the bathroom at the end of the hall. “I’m late for work.”

Buffy shook her head in disbelief. If she’d just prioritize herself, she may just be on time for school for once, Buffy thought wryly.

Buffy decided to bypass the bathroom at that moment with Dawn in there already. It’d be an hour before she could get in there; Dawn was so meticulous about the way she looked for work. Buffy turned and headed down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Luckily Dawn had already made the coffee and Buffy grabbed a mug off the shelf and poured herself a cup, taking a sip. Crossing over to the kitchen table, Buffy pulled out a chair, and sat down. She picked up the morning paper, yawning as she read the headlines.

An hour had passed and Dawn bustled into the kitchen, ready for work. Buffy hadn’t even heard Dawn come in; she was so engrossed with reading the paper. Dawn poured herself a cup, and sat next to Buffy.

“Buffy!”

Buffy didn’t answer.

“Buffy!” Dawn said, snapping her fingers.

“What?” Buffy looked at Dawn. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“Yeah,” she took a drink of the coffee. “In fact, I was just going to leave in a few.”

Dawn rose to her feet, finishing her coffee off, and crossed over to the sink, setting the cup in the sink. She grabbed her bag and headed out the door, yelling “Bye.”

“Bye!” Buffy set the paper down and headed up the stairs to get ready for work. As she hit the top of the steps, she heard the back door open. Buffy headed back down stairs and into the kitchen. “What are you…” She stopped short when she seen Xander.

He was standing in the door way next to Dawn with a bag in his hand.

“Xander!” Buffy said, running over to her friend, hugging him. Xander returned the hug. “It’s so good to see you!”

“It’s good to see you, Buffy.” Xander said, stepping out of the hug.

The last time Buffy saw Xander, he still had the patch over his eye, but now, it looks as if he’s got a new glass eye. She knew how self conscious he was about his looks, especially since he lost his eye to Caleb.

“Sit, please,” Buffy gestured and turned her gaze to Dawn. “You’re late.”

“I’m not leaving now. Xander’s here!” Dawn took a seat and Buffy sat crossed from her.

“So, what brings Xander here to my neck of the woods,” Buffy asked, curiously.

She didn’t give Xander a chance to answer.

“Would you like something to drink? Coffee?? Tea?? Soda??”

“No thanks,” Xander said, setting the bag on the table. “I haven’t come for a personal visit. I’ve…I’ve come for…business reasons.”

“Why am I not surprised,” said Buffy, exasperated.

“Buffy, it’s not like that, really.” Xander tried reasoning with it.

“What would it be like, then?” asked Buffy, annoyed.

“Well, I guess it is.” Xander said, flushed.

Sighing, Buffy motioned for Xander to continue.

Taking a deep breath, he continued. “We had been working with this demon and…and…he’s done something.”

“What?” Dawn asked, curiously. “What did he do?”

“He went back into time to kill someone,” Xander said vaguely.

“Who?” asked Buffy, fearing the worst.

“Spike,” Xander answered, honestly.

Buffy face suddenly went ashen white.

“Buff, you ok?” Xander asked, worried etched on his face.

“I’m ok,” answered Buffy a little while later. “Why did you come to me with this?” Buffy asked, rising out of her seat, pacing. “You’ve got plenty of other people to go looking for this demon.” She stopped long enough to look at Xander, waiting for an answer.

“Because…Because… He’s…not in our time.”

“Why does that not surprise me?” asked Buffy, rhetorically.

Rolling her eyes at her sister, Dawn asked, “What do you mean? ‘Not in Our Time’? Are you saying he’s interdemensional demon?”

Pursing her lips, Xander answered by shaking his head.

“Do you know where he went?” Dawn asked.

“Willow’s narrowed it down to 1998,” said Xander, grabbing the bag, and fishing through it. He pulled out a note from Willow. “Here.” He handed it off to the slayer and Buffy took it.

‘Hey Buffy,

Sorry I couldn’t come by with this earlier, but there’s a problem here at the watchers council. Xander has all the supplies you need. Everything can be done there at your house. If everything goes well, we’ll see each other later.

Love ya,

Willow.’

“Why did you come to me?” wondered Buffy. “It’s not like you or the other slayers couldn’t handle this.”

“Because it has to be you, and only you,” Xander said seriously a few moments later continued, “Buffy we need you!”

“Why didn’t you just go to the other slayers?”

“As I just said, you’re the only one that can do this. You have to do this. Spike was meant to do good. If that changes, lets just say all hell will break lose according to Willow.”

“Buffy, you have to do,” Dawn said, on the verge of tears. “We can’t lose Spike…I will not lose Spike all over again. I can’t!”

Xander leaned over, running a hand through Dawn’s long hair. “It’s ok, Dawnie, we’ll figure something else out!”

“No! Buffy has to do this!” Dawn said defiantly. “She can’t just sit by and let him die all over again. Everything that he’s done over the years, like protect me from Glory, will all have been for nothing.” She was quiet for a moment. “I…I’d be dead now.”

Dawnie is right, Buffy thought to herself. I have to think this through. I have to make sure I make the right decision here.

Buffy didn’t know if she could see Spike again, let alone in the past. No, she wasn’t going to do it.

If that’s selfish, I don’t give a care!

Someone else had to! It wasn’t going to be her!

“No!” Buffy rose from her chair. “I’m not doing it! I’m not!” Buffy said, on the verge of tears, and then turned, running up the stairs and into her bedroom. She closed the door behind her, and sunk down to the floor, crying. She missed Spike more than she realized. Seeing Spike again would just kill her.

*****
Dawn began to rise from her chair, but Xander stopped her.

“No, Dawnie. I’ll go.”

“Wait,” Dawn said, stopping Xander from rising out of his seat. “She loved Spike. She lied to you all.”

“I know.”

“She still loves him. I think she’ll always love him.”

“I know,” Xander said, as he remembered his time with Anya. “Buffy’s not too good on the lying.”

A few moments of silence passed between the two before Dawn spoke up again.

“She has his journal.”

“Huh?” Xander looked at Dawn, trying to understand. “Spike’s journal? How? We didn’t take anything but the clothes on our backs.”

“I know…I think it was Clem.”

“Clem,” Xander said. “Spike’s friend.”

“A few days after we moved in here, Clem stopped by and gave Buffy a package.”

“Where were you?”

“I was coming down the stairs when I saw them at the door, and I listened in on their conversation.”

“What’d he say?”

“‘Spike asked me to give this to you…ya know…if something where to happen to him… He wanted you to have something of his.’ I was taken aback and didn’t realize I had been crying… I know she was crying too, cause I could here her. She didn’t even say anything to him and before I realized it, he was gone.”

“What’d she do?”

“She stood there for the longest moment and I finally went down the stairs and I tried reaching out to her, but she bolted. Didn’t come home until the next day.”

“How did you know about the journal?”

“I had to know what Spike left her...I went through the whole house, finally finding it in an old trunk in the attic. The things he’s written and some of it was about Buffy. It just broke my heart. No wonder she likes to read it over and over, but Xander I’m worried, it isn’t healthy.”

“She loves him and that’s the only way she can be close to him,” Xander said, sadly, relating to Buffy.

Xander loved Anya more that life itself, but marriage scared him and he pushed her away. Every day he wishes he could things over again.

“I just want her to be happy for a change,” Dawn said, breaking Xander’s train of thought.

“I…I know,” Xander said, sighing. “I…I better go see if she’s ok.” Xander rose from her seat and then pushed her chair in. “Don’t you have work?”

“Work’s not important right now, especially when my sister is a mess and besides, you’re here. All the more reasons too stay home!” Dawn smiled weakly.

Xander sighed with a smile as he shook his head in exasperation. Can’t make her do what she doesn’t want to do. “Ok, stay here!” He headed upstairs and stopped in front of Buffy’s door, knocking lightly.

“Buffy, please open the door.”

Xander could hear soft sobs coming from the other side of the door.

“I know Buffy. It’s ok. I know what you’re going through… I can help you. Please just…open the door.”

A few moments later, the door opened, and out stepped Buffy.

Xander smiled halfheartedly, and brought her friend into a hug. They stood there quietly, wordlessly, for a long moment before Buffy pulled away.

“I’m ok.” Buffy said, wiping the tears away. “I…I just wigged there for a moment.”

“Understandable!”

Buffy crossed the room to her bed, and sat down.

“You really need me for this?”

“Yes, we do, Buffy. Willow says it’s very import we do this.”

The former slayer looked up at Xander thoughtfully.

“And will I have to see Spike?”

“You can’t see anyone. You can’t change anything. Will said it could change a hell of lot of things in the present.”

“What exactly do I need to do?” She looked up.

“Find the demon and kill him.”

“And that’s it?”

“Yep!”

“I’ll send you there via spell, since I can’t exactly pin point where he’ll be.” and then Xander added, “or where he’s supposed to be.”

“What happens if he skips? Ya know, goes into another year?”

“He won’t. He’s gotta find Spike and kill him.”

Buffy smiled, determined written all over her face. “He’s not going to a chance to!”

“That was a relief, Buff,” Xander said, jokingly. “I was afraid you weren’t going to do it.”

She quickly grabbed a pair of jeans and a tee shirt she wore the night before. She didn’t have much time and didn’t want to be wasting it.

“Yes I’m doing…just give me about fifteen minutes and we can… do this!” Buffy said, heading to the bathroom, but stopped as she grabbed for the door handle. “Xander…” She said, voice quivering.

“Yes?” Xander looked up at Buffy.

“How do you do it?”

“What?” asked a surprised Xander.

“How do you go on knowing that you’ll never be with the love of your life?”

Xander didn’t have the right words for Buffy. He wasn’t sure how to tell her. This was something that Xander lived with everyday.

“I don’t know,” answered Xander honestly. “I just…do. Some day I’ll see her. I guess…maybe that’s what keeps me sane.”

“I know I hesitated making this decision, but the thought of seeing Spike again…I don’t know that I can, but it’s something that I have to do,” Buffy said, trailing off on the verge of tears again. “It’s really going to break my heart when I come back and there’s still no Spike,” She opened the door and hurried to the bathroom.

Xander understood everything that Buffy was going through, but there wasn’t much he could do, but just be a good friend and listen when Buffy needed to vent.

A few moments later, Xander headed down stairs and waited for Buffy.

*****
Twenty minutes later, Xander and Dawn were sitting in the living room waiting when Buffy came down the steps refreshed and a little sadder. Xander rose to his feet and crossed the room to Buffy.

“Are you ok?”

“There’s not a day that I don’t think about him,” said Buffy, truthfully. “I know eventually I need to move on, but it’s just really hard to do that right now. It’s gonna take a little bit of time. I have to be ok, Xand. I can’t keep living in the past. Spike wouldn’t want that.”

A few moments of silence passed between the friends and then Dawn rose to her feet and said, “Are we ready?” She shifted nervously waiting for an answer.

“Let’s get this over with,” Buffy said, looking from Xander to Dawn.

Dawn grabbed the bag, and handed it over to Xander. He smiled kindly as thanks to her.

TBC

Xander gave the sisters the time they needed as he moved the coffee table out of the way as he gave the girls the time that they needed. He pulled out six pillar candles and places them in a circle, and lighting them as he went a long. Next he pulled out the herbs he’d need along with a mortar and a pedestal, and grounded the herbs for a few moments.

Finally Buffy and Dawn turned towards Xander, holding hands, unsure of what will happen if Buffy goes to the past.

“Is Buffy going to be ok?” asked Dawn.

“If she’s careful, she’ll be fine.” Xander said truthfully. “The past has to stay the same as much as possible. If you change something small, it could be something significant in the future…I mean now, which would be the future to you.”

“Ok Xander, I get the picture.” Buffy said, interrupting Xander. “Now what?” She asked casually.

“Step in the center, and I’ll say the spell Willow gave me,” Xander told them as he pulled out the spell from the bag.

Xander wasn’t really all that proficient with spells and potions, but Willow had given him a brief lesson before he left. So he felt confident he could do this.

“You listen to Xander. Do what he tells you to… I’ll be right back,” Buffy said, hugging Dawn. “I’m coming back!”

Ignoring her sister, Dawn told Buffy, “You come back!”

“I will!” She hugged Dawn again and then stepped into the center of the pillar candles. “I’m ready!”

Xander began to chant in a language neither Dawn nor Buffy understood, and waited until he was finished, but after a few moments, Buffy started to get antsy. Before she realized it, she was at the edge of Sunnydale and began to rain.


TBC

Chapter 3-

Signing, Buffy began to walk back into town when a car zoomed passed her and then stopped about ten feet ahead of her. The driver backed up the car where Buffy stood. The door opened and the driver called out to her.

“Buffy!”

Buffy’s looked into the car and said, “Giles."

She knew she had to be careful.

“Buffy, you’re all wet,” Giles stated the obvious. “Get in the car.You'll catch you're death.”


Giles motioned for Buffy to get into the car. Buffy just stared for a few moments before hurrying to the car. She slid inside, staring her watcher for a moment.

“What you doing in the rain?” Giles asked Buffy as she shut the door. "Slaying?"

“Um, yeah." Buffy said quickly, remembering what Xander had reminded her of. "Demon actually."

“Oh.” Was all Giles said. “I've still got your duffle bag back at my place.You can change there." Giles told her as drove away in his old clunker. Buffy just glared back at him.

A little while later, he pulled into the parking lot of his building and they headed inside his loft. Buffy was careful not to spoil as much of the timeline as possible and kept quite. Giles didn’t really pay much attention to her quietness. Just assumed she was tired.

“Go in and change and we’ll do some research on this demon you were after,” Giles told her. “I believe there’s something of yours in the bathroom cabinet.” He gestured.

"Thanks Giles."

Buffy headed towards the bathroom, pulled out the duffle back from the cabinet, and dressed in an old pair of her sweat pants and a black tee-shirt she. She finally walked out of the bathroom. Giles had already poured himself a scotch, looking over a book as he waited for Buffy.

“Ah, yes, Buffy, come sit down.” He set the book down his lap and patted the spot next to him.

“I think I’m going to sit this one out Giles.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I’m just not feeling very well.”

“Ah, very well.” He set the book and his drink down on the coffee table. “We’ll just continue this in the morning. I’ll drive you home then, since it’s raining out.”

****

ON the way to Buffy's house, the rain had stopped. She watched as Giles pulled out of her driveway, and she waved him off. She turned around, heading up to the house.

She dreaded seeing her mother once again. The thought of seeing her again…well, Buffy just wasn’t ready for that just yet.

Grabbing for the door handle, Buffy stopped for a second, remembering all the good and the bad times in the house.

“NO! I’m not going to do this now.”

She held back the tears that were threatening to spill over and made her way inside. When it was clear, Buffy high-tailed it up to her bedroom, closing the door softly, as to not alert whom ever would be home. She grabbed a pair of jeans sitting on a chair, thankful that she was about the same size then as she was now.

As she button up her jeans, Buffy heard the front door open and she froze.

“Mom,” she whispered.

“Buffy!” Joyce called out. “Are you home?”

“Shit!” Buffy whispered

“BUFFY, I’m home!” Joyce yelled as she climbed the stairs.

The slayer froze in place. She wasn’t sure how to handle things with her mom yet. She was surprised that Giles hadn’t said anything more to her. Just then, the phone rang and Joyce turned back around and headed down the steps and into the kitchen to answer it.

As Buffy sat down on the bed, relieved, she looked over at the clock. It was after nine and her past self would mostly likely be hanging with Xander and Willow. It was safe for now to camp out in the house for a little while, but what she didn’t anticipate was the memories coming to the surface.

Lying back on the bed, Buffy began to cry thinking about the past, and soon she fell asleep. Joyce bounded up the stairs after her phone call, and saw that Buffy’s door was close.

Assuming that her daughter was home for the evening, Joyce opened the door gently, looking in on Buffy. Glad that she was safe and sound, Joyce closed the door and headed off to her room.

*****

Spike lay passed out on an old ratty mattress in the warehouse he had shared with Dru, before she broke his heart by leaving him for her latest love. Every once and while when Spike would roll over, he’d call out to Dru, not realizing he did so.

Beer and whisky bottles were all stern around him. It smelled like a brewery, but Spike, he didn’t care. It was a place to sleep. It was his home away from home. Wherever home was at the moment, Spike didn’t much care.

As he lay asleep, another vampire stood, hovering over him, and glaring back down at him. Spike was to far gone to realize what was going on. Dru had sent the vampire after Spike. She didn’t want anymore hassles with him coming after her any time soon. She was content with her latest conquest.

The vampire swiftly produced a stake from his back pocket, and held it above Spike. Just as the big burly vampire was ready, another dark clad figure stood in the wings. To his better judgment, the dark clad figure stepped out of the shadows, his coat billowing behind him, very dramatic like.

“I…uh, wouldn’t do that if I were you!” The dark clad figure barked.

The vampire with a stake turned around to see who was speaking to him. He transformed into his vampire visage.

“Angel!” He growled. “What are you doing here?”

“I’d ask you the same thing,” Angel said, walking closer to the other vampire. Once he got closer, he realized it was one of Drusilla’s minions. “Andre, it’s so nice to see you.” Angel casually said.

As perplexed as Andre was, he wasn’t buying Angel’s sincerity, so he just played along with it.

“It’s uh…nice to see you too, Angel.” Andre tightened the grip on his stake, taking no chances. I think I could take him!

Stopping just short of Spike’s bed, Angel smiled and then lunged at the minion vampire. After several minutes of fighting, Angel got bored and staked Andre without warning. Spike finally rolled over blindly looking for his booze and then the smell hit him. It was his grandsire. Oh he hated him more than the slayer, although the slayer was close behind.

“Oh it’s you,” he slurred. “What the bloody hell you doin’ here, peaches?”

“Saved your sorry ass,” pointed out Angel. “I could have always let you get dusted,” Angel said, matter-of-factly.

Slowly sitting up, Spike took a long swing from the bottle, and then said, “Well, I don’t need your god damn help!”

Sighing, Angel turned to walk away. He stopped to slowly turn around. “Looks like Dru sent Andre to kill you.”

“Bugger!” Spike through the bottle and watched it hit the wall nearby and shatter into tiny pieces.

Angel kinda felt bad for him. He knew what it was like to get wrapped up in Drusilla’s world only to be thrown aside when she didn’t need you.

“Spike,” Angel began slowly. “I’m sorry.”

“I can’t believe the crazy bint did this to me. All that I did for her. All that time I spent with her. I loved her. Hell, I still love her.” Looking up at Angel, Spike realized he didn’t want Angel’s pity. “Get the bloody hell out of here. I don’t need your damn pity or fucking sympathy!”

Shaking his head as he sighed, Angel said, “I’ll be around if you just want to talk.” He turned and finally left into the night.


“I don’t need your god damn help, you wanker.” He muttered, turning around, looking for another bottle of his Irish whiskey.

Instead, he found his journal and plopped down on the bed to read all the heartfelt poems and song lyrics he’d written for Drusilla.

A single tear ran down his face and he abruptly through the book away from him.

“I’m such a git.” He fell back on the bed, closed his eyes, and fell fast asleep

TBC

Chapter 4-

As Spike slept, some one appeared out of a time ripple and stood in front Spike’s sleeping form. He was so quite, the vampire hadn’t even heard him.

As the demon sneered, he grabbed a stake from the back of pants and with one swift motion, stabbed it through Spike’s heart. The vampire opened his eyes and before he had a chance to scream, he was dust.

On the other side of Sunnydale, Buffy woke up screaming. In her dream she saw Spike die. Her mother knocked on the door.

“Buffy, dear, are you ok?” Joyce asked opening the door.

Before Buffy had a chance to say anything, the room began spinning around her and she was back at her house with Willow.

Everything that had happened with Spike never happened. Spike and Buffy never got together. Dawn had died at the hands of Glory. Angel had saved the world in the battle with the first, however, Xander, Anya, Giles, Faith, and many of the slayers in training had lost their lives. With only Willow, Andrew and Buffy left, they had reformed the council.

“Oh my god!” Buffy said, tears springing to her eyes. “Spike’s dead. I saw it in my dream. I lost him all over again, and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it!”

“Buffy calm down!” Willow said, soothingly.

“Where’s Xander?” Buffy asked, looking around for Dawn, Buffy began to panic. “Where’s Dawn?”

“She’s…she’s dead.”

“What?”

“Glory murdered her.”

“No!” Buffy said, sobbing.

“I’m afraid so.” Willow said, hugging her. “I am sorry.”

“Where’s Xander?”
“He’s dead,” said Willow, sadly and then continued to explain what happened over the years.

“Oh god no, I screwed up,” Buffy said, not realizing she could go back to change it. She wiped away her tears and asked, “How can we make this right?”

“You go back into time again, only you do things differently!”

Understanding, Buffy hugged Willow. “Let’s do it!” Buffy said, taking a deep breath. “I’m gonna make this right,” Buffy said, determined.

Repeating the spell once again, Willow sent Buffy back into time. The slayer was back in 1998. Instead of waiting around, Buffy grabbed clip and put her hair up and grabbed a couple of stakes and out of her bag hanging on the door. She then walked over to the window, opening it up and climbing out of it. She jumped down off the roof, and went in search of Spike.

Her spidey senses led her to the warehouse district. Buffy hurried inside the building she thought Spike might be in, and she instantly knew that Angel was there. Immediately she thought the worst, and it made her even more determined to get to Spike in a hurry. Once she walked in, she saw someone hovering over Spike.

“Get away from him!” She pulled her stake out.

Angel stood in the shadows watching Buffy and wondering why she would be helping Spike.

The vampire turned around.

“Slayer,” he seethed.

“I’m no in the mood for pleasantries,” she snapped.

The slayer had readied her self for a fight.

“Why don’t we just end this?” He said, running towards her.

Slayer and vampire shared a few bunches and blocks before Buffy got tired and staked him without warning. It always felt good to slay something when she was frustrated.

A few moments later, Angel stepped out of the shadows and Spike sat up in bed, watching and wondering why he hadn’t been staked yet.

“Buffy!”

“Angel,” she said in surprise as she turned around to see him. “What are you doing here?”

“Got a tip that Spike was in danger. Thought I’d help him out!”

“S’that so,” Spike rose to his feet, grabbing his whiskey, and took a swig. He stumbled a bit before speaking again. “I don’t need your sodden help.” He took another one. “Either of you!”

Buffy and Angel both turned back around and rolling their eyes. Spike always knew just how to push her buttons even after he got his soul back. That didn’t matter now. All she wanted was Spike. It was hard to just stand there next to Angel, but she so wanted to have Spike’s right then and there, even if Angel was standing there.

“Shut up, Spike,” Buffy said angrily, a few moments later, as she shook her head of the sexual thoughts slowly creeping up on her. If she wasn’t careful, both vamps would know.

“Bugger off!” He gestured with his hand and then took another sip of the bottle, staggering back once again.

At this point, she didn’t care who she come into contact with. Her priorities were about saving Spike right now

“Why didn’t you just stake his sorry ass?” Angel asked a few moments later. “He’s nothing but trouble.”

Sighing, Buffy replied, “You wouldn’t understand anyway. Besides, I can take care of myself.”

“I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

“Hello, Slayer here. I think I can take care of myself! Now just leave!”

By now, Spike was enjoying the show before him. He pulled up a chair and began watching them more closely.

“I’m not leaving you with…him.”

Buffy was furiated with Angel.

“Look, Angel, please, just go. I’ll meet up with you later.”

Angel finally relented and left. Buffy was so relieved he was gone. She turned back around only to see Spike laughing.

“T’was a great show, slayer.” He tipped back in the chair.

In an instant, she was right next to him, and kicked the chair out from beneath him. He slammed his head on the concrete floor. She couldn’t stop laughing.

“Ow, bloody hell, slayer. What’d you do that for?” He brought a hand behind his head, checking for blood. Luckily there wasn’t anyway. “You’re lucky I’m incapacitated or I’d…” Buffy interrupted.

“Or you’ll do what? She giggled leaning down to help him up.

With the close proximity of him, her body began to react and instantly Spike smelled her arousal. She stepped away from him, and slipped on something, falling down. He started laughing at her until he saw what she was looking at.

“What’s this?” She asked, picking up a book.

“Don’t read that,” If Spike could blush, he would have.

Buffy opened it up, and began reading the first page.

‘I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.’

“OH Spike, this is beautiful.” She said, looking up at him.

Spike tried grabbing it from her again, but she held it back from him and read the next page.

‘For, you see, each day I love you more, Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.’

Out of respect, she closed the book and handed back to Spike.

“I…I didn’t realize you still wrote.”

“Yeah, well…” Spike trailed off just as a demon jumped out of a portal.

Spike and Buffy stood up, ready for a fight.

“Well, well,” The demon grinned. “Now I can kill you both.”

“You sound sure of yourself,” Buffy said, sarcastically. “We shall see about that!”

TBC

A/N The first poem was written by Elizabeth Barrett Brown. The second poem was written by Rosemonde Gérard, "L'Éternelle Chanson". I found them at www.lovepoemsandquotes.com.

A/N2: I hope that I have cleared up the similarites. If there happens to be more that I don't know about, please let me know and I will do my best to correct it. I am sorry about the misunderstanding. I am making an effort to change what I can.

Chapter 5-

The demon decided not to kill the slayer or the vampire at that moment. He wanted to have fun with them. He opened up a portal with the wave of his hand, smirking as he did so. Both the slayer and the vampire looked at one another confused.

“That’s not good,” muttered Spike.

“Spike!” Buffy yelled.

“Ah, hell!”

Spike grabbed for Buffy’s hand pulling her close to him; however, the force of the portal was far greater than they both realized, and were sucked in. The demon laughed when he heard their screams, and when those screams diminished, he then disappeared.

While this was happening, history was changed. Joyce never married Hank Summers; therefore, Buffy was never born and Joyce never had a reason to move to Sunnydale. The hellmouth was as active as ever. The town was over run with vampires and demons. Most of the people living in the town had been run out. The few remaining chose to stay to protect what was theirs.

Xander and Cordelia were both vampires. Oz a few other students stayed behind to help reduce the population of demons and vampires. Angel never got to meet Buffy and lived on the streets, stealing his food or eating rats whenever he could find them. He never got to meet up with Doyle and Wesley never had a reason to show up to Sunnydale. Giles stayed in England and worked at watchers council. And poor Faith, she was murdered by her watcher in the most horrible way. Spike and Drusilla mostly stayed in England, but traveled around the world, never staying in one place very long. Darla gallivanted around the world, killing as many humans as she could. Angel and Darla never had a chance to be together and Connor was never born.

The world was not the safest place to live now that Buffy was technically never born. Without her, the world was in chaos. The end of the world was approaching fast and no one could stop it.

***
After Willow had given the spell to Xander, she cast a spell of her own, a spell to protect her and keep her between the timelines.

****

The portal opened up, dropping Buffy on rock, and the force had knocked her out cold. Blood spilled from the back of her head, and her breathing was shallow, but was alive… just barely.

Spike was spit out a few moments later. He hit a coconut tree down twenty or so yards away from Buffy and he hadn’t realize she was hurt.

“Ow, bloody hell,” Spike said, sitting up dazed. A few moments later a coconut landed on his hell. “God damn it!” He rubbed his head.

For the most part, he was ok, other than a headache forming at the base of his skull. Rising to his feet, Spike began walking towards the ocean, and stopped short of the shady part in the sand, looking amused the demon stuck him on a deserted island.

Shaking his head, he said, “This is ironic,” and laughed.

As he turned to head back to the shade, he noticed the sunlight on his left hand and to his surprise, he wasn’t burning up. Tempting fate, Spike stepped out into the sunlight. He stood in place, not moving an inch as he looked around.

“A bloke could get used to this,” He grinned.

A familiar odor wafted through his nostrils, and instantly his demon came forth. He sniffed around for the source, Spike noticed Buffy lying helpless against a rock. She was down the beach a little ways from where he landed.

A big grin formed on his face as he shook his head.

“This is just too easy.”

The vampire headed towards Buffy like she was his pray. As he stopped just above her, he fell to his knees, and sniffed the blood, savoring it as if it was his last meal. He rolled her lifeless body towards him to inspect the head wound and determined it wouldn’t be long before death.

Grinning, Spike set her back down, and situated her head to feast on her. He could hear her heart and the blood pumping with in her. The heart was beating in a faint rhythm as his demon came forth; he leaned forward and bit her. As he was drinking from the slayer, Spike could feel the affects instantly and it made him giddy with delight, but he stopped himself and pulled away from her.

“Ah, shit,” he muttered as he looked at her lifeless body. He realized he needed her just as much as she needed him, if they were going to get off this island. “This isn’t right,” he mumbled.

Spike could stay there as long as he wanted, but where was the fun in that?? He enjoyed the world as it was, and he didn’t want to let that go, not yet anyway. Looking down at her wound, Spike leaned in once again but this time, he licked the wound clean, it was slowly started to scab over. He then slid his duster off and placed it over her, and then pulled his black shirt off, tore it into shreds and tied a piece off on her head wound. Hopefully it would be long enough to stop bleeding and her slayer healing to kick in.

“Be right back, slayer.”

Spike headed into the jungle to find her nourishment. He came back a little while later with bananas, coconuts for the milk, and few other types of fruits he couldn’t identify. He kneeled down next to her and set the fruit down. He picked up a coconut and broke it open on the rock. He set one piece down on the sand, careful not to dump it over, and lifted her head softly as he brought other piece to her mouth, pouring it a little at a time.

“That’s it, take it all down,” he said softly. “Drink it all up, love.”

Spike was so gentle with her that he didn’t understand why. He kept telling himself they needed each other to get off this bloody island and back to good old Sunny hell. No, it was more than that. He actually start to like her. Like sparing with her, whenever they did get the chance.

When Buffy was finished with that piece of coconut, he tossed the shell aside and picked up the other one, repeating the same process. After she was finished, he let her rest.

Spike’s instincts took over and he went in search of something to build a shelter for Buffy, and returned a short while later with the materials he needed. He used large branches and tied those up with vines and when he completed the frame, he used large leaves from the trees nearby, giving her even more shelter, and enough room for him to lie near her, to protect her if need be. Making the best of it for the time they were going to be there.

****
Back in the present, Willow began to get antsy, and tried every spell she could think of to get Buffy back, but it was no use. She summoned the demon behind it, and was surprised when he came.

“Where are they?” She asked rather coldly.

The demon grinned, but did not say anything.

“Where are there?” She asked once again, producing electricity from her hands, but the demon laughed. “Damn it. Tell me where they are.” She shouted, and the earth began to rumble, knocking the demon back on his ass.

“All right. All right,” he said, looking up at her. Willow’s hair and eyes turned white.

”Let’s try this again, shall way.”

Her hair and eye colors returned.

“Where are they?”

“A place in time where no one can find them,” he said, slowly rising to his feet, grinning. “Only I can bring them back.” He chuckled before disappearing.

“Damn it,” she said frustrated. “If only there was another way.”

****
Spike stepped back, looking over the shelter. It swayed to the left, but it was sturdy and reliable, which was what Buffy needed now to heal. As he stood there, he realized he was feeling a bit puckish. He closed his eyes, sniffing for his prey and quickly spotted an animal running down the beach.

The demon emerged within Spike and he ran after it, caught with his left arm. As he came to a halt, he bit into the poor animal, draining it dry. Satisfied, he headed back to Buffy. It looked as if she’d kicked off the duster, which meant she was started to regain her strength. Smiling, he bent over, pulling the duster up to her neck.

Something was sticking out underneath Buffy, and a curious Spike picked it up, realizing it was his journal. Thumbing through the pages, he found another poem he’d written. He quickly closed it. Too many thoughts and feelings had run through his head.

“Another time and another place…” he said, setting it aside and lying next to Buffy.

He shut his eyes and fell asleep.

Chapter 6-

A few days had gone by and Buffy hadn't woken up yet, but Spike could tell that she was getting better. The slayers color in her cheeks were beginning to return, blood pressureseemed normal, and the gash on her head was healing nicely.

When she thrashed back and forth, Spike would sooth her with kind words, letting her know that everything would be ok and that they'd get off the island somehow. He just hoped that her witch friend could perform a miracle right about now.

******
The vampire was feeling a bit hungry and decided to head off into the jungle to find food. The slayer called out for Spike, but he was to far away to hear her. And unbeknownst to her, the time traveling demon's portal opened and he stepped out. He stood there, hovering over body, and smiled evilly down at her.


Willow had been tracking the demon and finally, after what seemed like forever, had found him. As she tapped into his powers, the witch watched on unable to do anything at the moment.



Kneeling down next to the slayer, the time travel demon whispered into her ear. "Aww, poor Slayer. So defenseless.I could kill you right now, but." He lingered for a moment, sensing Willow watching. "But I shall let you live." He sprinkled some dust over Buffy body and she instantly began to chill. She was sicker than a dog now.



Buffy had been a thorn in his side for many years, although this demon hadn't made him self known. She was always preventing the latest apocalypse he'd set up, which irritated him more than anything. Something must be done to end her reign as Slayer.

The last one would have gone through if that pesky vampire didn't get in the way. Even if I let life here, that damn witch would save them.

The demon sighed as he shook his head. It wasn't a win, win situation like he hoped it would be. He had too many loose ends to take care of.

Once of which, the witch, he thought as he looked up at the sky.

"Don't worry slayer." He leaned back in, whispering in her ear. "I may let her watch you and that incepted vampire die."

The demon stood up abruptly as he sensed Spike's presence nearby, opened a portal next to him, and he quickly jumped in.

"Soon," the demon echoed as he disappeared into the portal.

Spike walked out onto the beach, stopping quickly as he looked around. He'd sensed that something had been there, but Buffy calls caught his attention.

"Spike." She called out as her head thrashed about. "Where are you.Spike!"

He knelt down next to her with a pained expression on his face. Seeing her laid up like that was tugging on his undead heart.

"Right here, Slayer," Spike said, softly.

The slayer still hadn't opened her eyes yet and Spike had hoped she would soon.

"Spike!"

"I'm right here, darlin'." He soothed her as he caressed her face and realized she was burning up with fever. "Bloody hell, slayer.you're burnin' up." He stood up and began to pace back and forth, blaming himself for not being able to do more for her. After several minutes, he stopped pacing and said, "No sense in blaming myself. I gotta bring down the fever some how."

As Spike knelt down next to Buffy, he'd remembered something from yesterday. He'd found a large cave and he'd gone in, making sure it was safe in case it was necessary to go to. Inside there was a spring filled with fresh water. It was large enough to wade in it and he knew instantly that's the place where he needed to take Buffy now. Something about it, had drawn him since that day.

When Spike gently picked her up, Buffy leaned her head on his shoulder and held on to him.

Looking down at the beautiful woman in his arms, Spike realized that it had felt right. They fit together, perfectly, like they were meant to be as one. He smiled, heading towards his destination.

It was so dark in the cave that Spike couldn't see. His blue eyes flashed gold and then his demon came forth, allowing him to see. Several moments had passed, and the spring came into his view. With one hand, Spike laid his beloved duster on the ground, and set Buffy down as gently as he could.

"Spike's gonna make you all better."

He removed all her clothing, sans bra and panties, and set them aside. It didn't matter if she'd be pissed at him or not. He wanted to bring her fever down and this was the only thing he could think of to do so.

For a moment, Spike stared at her body and he'd realized she'd lost a lot of weight. It wasn't just from being on this island that had caused it. It was something else, but what, he didn't know.

"What's happened to you slayer you're so bleedin' tiny."

The vampire quickly removed his pants and his boots, carried her over to the spring, and stepped in. The spring was a little cool, but it was nothing that he couldn't handle. He just hoped it would bring her fever down soon. As he waded in the spring with her, Spike watched her, before long, her fever had gone down, as he expected it to.

Opening her eyes momentarily, Buffy looked up at Spike, who was still in vamp mode, reaching up with a shaky hand, and caressed his face before passing out once again. He was shocked at the tenderness she had showed him. If his heart could have skipped a beat, it would have.

Leaning forward, he placed a soft kiss on her head, and then stepped out of the spring. He laid her on his duster, dried her off, dressed her and wrapped her snuggly into the duster.

Spike then pulled his pants on and then his boots and went searching for some wood. While he was out getting the wood, he'd found his journal and brought it with him. When he returned, he built a fire and watched as the warm glow danced along the walls. The only time he moved was to get food for each of them.

TBC

Chapter 7-



The next morning when Buffy awoke, she realized she was in Spike’s arms, smiled contently and fell back asleep. Two hours later, Spike had woken up. He had been dreaming about Buffy, which was very pleasant, considering he had a painful erection.



Looking down at the budge in his pants, Spike tried willing it away. He was afraid that if she woke up, she’d see it and be repulsed.



When his it didn’t fade, Spike gently moved Buffy aside, and left the cave. He paced back and forth twenty feet away from the entrance, thinking of unpleasant things. As the sun peaked through trees, Spike looked down at his hand, realized his hand wasn’t burning. After they landed on the island, he stood in the sun for the first time years, centuries even, but he thought it was just a dream. He needed to test that dream and make it into a reality and he headed towards the beach.



As Spike stood at the edge of the shade, he took one deep breath and stepped into the sunshine. He looked up and around as a big grin formed on his face. It felt so good to stand out in the sun and see what they take for granted everyday. He collapsed to the ground, enjoying his surroundings and listening to the waters lap up against the rocks nearby.



A single tear rolled down his face. “If I was alive, I’d never take this for granted. Never!”



But could Spike really live on the island with his mortal enemy he thought as he whipped the tear away, sitting in silence. After awhile, he realized he needed to get back to Buffy, but before he could get into the cave, he heard her calling out for him.



“Spike…”



“I’m right here, love.” He ran in and sat next to her. “Are you ok?” He asked, checking her over.



Buffy missed this side of him and smiled at the memories she was experiencing, but she forced the memories a side, otherwise she’d be cry. This Spike wasn’t her Spike yet, and she had to make it seem like they were still enemies, even if it did hurt.



“Other than this splitting headache…” She rubbed her temples, hoping to elevate the pressure that had been building up. “I’m fine. Don’t fuss.”



Buffy averted her gaze away and asked, “Where are we? Are we still in Sunnydale?” She looked around the cave and at the spring, remembering something that had happened, but unfortunately it was too fuzzy to remember.



“No, Toto we’re not in Kansas anymore,” He said sarcastically.



Ignoring that comment, she asked, “Did we um…” She let it linger for a moment and then asked, “What happened in the spring?”



It had been awhile since they’d been together intimately and made her a little nervous, but she still felt safe in his arms.



Speaking of arms, no shirt on…Yummmy.



She licked her lips, waiting for an answer. If only she knew, Spike was thinking about her as well.



Tilting his head to the side, he replied acerbically, “Don’t flatter yourself, slayer!”



“You’re pig,” she said bitterly, rose her feet, and headed out of the cave.



Spike sat there for a moment, shaking his head. He couldn’t believe how daft he was.



She was only asking what happened. You’re such a git.



He rose to his feet, and headed out after her. As he began sensing for her, Spike stopped, and scratched his head in contemplation.



The slayer is different, but how?? Buffy would never run away from a confrontation with me. Especially me. She’d stake my undead ass for that comment.



Thinking back to that night this all started; Spike remembered how different had Buffy acted. She looked older and a little sadder, like she lost someone very important to her. Then there was the other night in the spring, when she caressed his face. He smiled at that memory. He didn’t realize how much it he was affected by it.



Buff, I don’t know what the bleedin’ hell happened to you, but there’s something definitely something different about you. Maybe it’s the knock on her noggin that’s got her off her rocker.



Once he got a lock on her scent, he’d headed towards her.



****************

Buffy just wasn’t in the mood for his taunting. He’d known just how to push her buttons and she wasn’t really prepared to take him on, now like this. No, it was best to get away from him for awhile.



Maybe it would be better to make camp somewhere away from him.



After awhile the heat had gotten to Buffy and she left the jungle for the beach. The sky was so blue, the sun was so bright, and the water was so invitingly blue. She listened as the water lapped up against the rocks. The beaches in California weren’t nearly as beautiful as this place had been. Buffy definitely could live out her life here and more important she could live it with Spike. No more being Slayer. No more being the big sister. No more house payments. No more of that life. She could make a new one here and she could just be herself.



Buffy smiled as she walked along the beach. She decided to go swimming and quickly removed her clothing, before running for the water. It was so cool on her skin; it felt so good as she dunked her head under the water. She left all her problems behind, which was fine with Buffy. It was worth it, just to swim in this beautiful ocean. Her spidey senses kicked in as she came up from the water. Spike was near.



*********



Spike walked out onto the beach and looked up and down it, finally spotting Buffy swimming. He took a moment to watch her, to draw her into him, and then she saw him in the sun.



Oh my god, Spike, get out of the sun! He’s in the sun!



“SPIKE!” She yelled. “GET OUT OF THE SUN!”



Buffy closed her eyes. She didn’t want to see him burst into the flames. She could lose him all over again. Tears began to spill over and she opened her eyes a few moments later, he was in the water with her, hear her. She took a deep breath and whipped the tears away.



“What?? How?? How are…are you in the sun?” Buffy asked, stuttering.



Seeing her at lose of words, Spike grinned. “S’pose it’s the dimension, love. No other explanation, I can think of.”



It was Buffy turn and she smiled wide. She did the unthinkable and jumped into Spike’s arms and kissed every in of his face, finally kissing him on the lips. When they realized that there was skin on skin contact, they moved away from each other.



“It was a mistake. Forget that ever happened,” Buffy told Spike as she swam away.



Raising his scared eyebrow, Spike watched her swim away.

“You bloody well believe it was a mistake, Slayer.” He called out her.

If Buffy hadn’t swum away from him, Spike would have definitely wrapped his arms and kissed her, the kind of kiss that curled her toes. But who is he kidding?? She’d never go for a bloke like him. She was above him. She was the slayer after all. Her kind killed his kind. It just would never work.



“Bugger it.” He swum back to the shore, dressed, and went back into the jungle in search for food.



Buffy watched him walk into the jungle. She was so upset with herself. How could she do such a thing?? This Spike would never understand the way she felt. Never understand the sacrifices he’s made to save the world.


I can’t allow myself to get involved with him. I have to be honest with him about everything. We need to work together to get off this island. She thought, swimming back to shore.


TBC

Chapter 8-



As Spike walked into the jungle, he quickly caught his dinner. When he finished, he decided to go for a walk to clear his head. He couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss Buffy had given him. He could still feel her lips on his. If he had to admit it right now, he’d want to do it all over again, and he didn’t know where he would stop.


While he made his way further into the jungle, Spike spotted something red and white forty or 50 feet head of him. He pushed his way through the think foliage until he come a crossed twin engine plane. It had been there quite awhile as the rust had almost taken it over. The windows had been cracked from the crash landing.



There were several types of plants or other various things growing on it, that Spike couldn’t identify, which didn’t surprise him much. He wasn’t much for the sciences. The vines from the trees had weaved in and out of the windows, making it hard to see inside. Birds and other animals had made their home inside the plane.



Stepping closer to the plane, Spike was careful not to disturb anything. He peeked inside, noticed that there were three passengers; two adults and one child, was still strapped in. Spike figured that they died on impact.



Scratching his head, Spike wondered how this family ended up on this particular island. Of course, he didn’t know where the hell he was to begin with and figured that he and Buffy were in a place similar to the Bermuda Triangle. How they were going to get out, was another question.



Spike turned to head back to the cave, when he tripped over something, and landed face first on the ground.



“What the bloody hell?” He sat up quickly, cleaning himself off.



He had tripped over a large brown leather suitcase. Pulling closer to him, Spike looked at it circumspectly. It was still in fairly good shape, despite the zipper being a little rusty. He carefully unzipped it, and discovered both men and women’s clothing. It sure was going to come in hand for as long as they may be on the island. How ever long it would be.



Spike pulled out a black tee shirt, slipped it on, and zipped the suitcase back up. He rose to his feet and went back to the cave, suitcase in hand.



*************

The slayer walked inside the cave, half expecting to see Spike sitting there waiting for her, unfortunately he wasn’t. She was all ready to tell him the truth about everything, but now that he wasn’t there, she sure wasn’t sure if she did. Before she sat down, she lit a fire, giving the cave a little bit of light.



“Why should he be here?” She sighed as she sat down, wrapping herself in Spike’s duster. “I made a complete fool of myself.”



Buffy brought the lapel of the duster up to her nose, inhaling Spike’s unique scent as she reminisced about their times together.



It smelled of tobacco and whiskey, and it made her miss her Spike even more. She closed her eyes, holding back the tears that were threatening to spill over, when Spike entered the cave. He watched her as he leaned up against the entrance and eyed her curiously, wondering what it was that was making her so sad. He wished she would tell him.



Buffy knew he Spike was standing there, watching her, but she couldn’t say a word to him. She froze up, afraid he’d say something about the duster or worse, the kiss. She dreaded that more than anything else right now.



Making his presence known, Spike made his way further into the cave, hulled the suitcase over to her, and threw it down in front of her. When she heard the thud in front of her, Buffy opened her eyes, inspecting what she found.



“Well, you gonna open it or stare at it, slayer?” He asked a little too mockingly, which he hadn’t intended to do.



Mentally slapping himself, Spike sat down on a rock a crossed from her.



She inhaled a little too noisily as she unzipped the suitcase and flipped it open.



“Where’d you find this?” Buffy asked, picking through the clothes, and finding a white summer dress with. She pulled it out in front of her, looking it over, and realizing it was her size. It certainly would be cooler than the jeans I’m wearing.



“Suites you!”



For the moment they were caught up in each others gaze. When Buffy realized she’d been staring, she averted her gaze to the white dress as she set in down in her lap. He was still looking at her, thinking how beautiful she was. Oh he’d always believed she was cute, but he’d never spent anytime with her, to really get to know her. Now that he has, Spike was almost wishing he wasn’t a vampire. She needs someone who she could depend on. Someone she can trust.



“Spike, I need to be honest with you…” She ran a hand through her hair, wishing she had something to clip her hair up with.



“’bout what?” He asked surprised.



What is she going to tell me? He wondered.



“Why I really came to you in the warehouse…”



Spike looked at her as he carefully listened to her. He could see how hard it was for her to be honest. He wished her could take the pain away from her.



“Yeah.” He prompted her to continue.



“I should just say…” She paused caught up in her thoughts.



After a few moments, Spike began to get a little antsy. “Well?”



“I came back from the future, Spike!”



There I finally said it. She looked over at him and he had this amused look on his face. He doesn’t believe me! Oh god, he doesn’t believe me. She flashed back on when she told him she loved him and he didn’t believe her.



In response, Spike began laughing. “Heh, that’s a good one, slayer.”



“Damn it Spike! Would you listen to me?” Buffy rose to her feet, letting the duster fall to the ground, and walked over to Spike. He stared at her for a moment, wondering what she was going to do.



When he seen the expression on her face, Spike realized she was pissed, and his smile faded.



“You’re an asshole, you know that.” She slugged him in the nose, hard enough to break it. She so wanted to kick his ass right about now, but stepped back, calming herself down.



“Ow, bloody hell, you broke my nose,” He stood up, yelling as he held his nose.



“Quit you’re belling aching,” Buffy said, sitting back down. “May I continue?”



“Go head…” came his muffled response.



“I’m from 2004…A future where you’re…you’re…dead,” She swallowed hard.



“Finally staked my ass, did ya?”



With her steely eyed glare, Spike quickly moved away from her. He half expected her to get up and kick his ass all over the cave, but she didn’t answer with words, but with tears. Spike fidgeted for a moment wondering if she could go hold her.



Bugger it. He knelt down beside her, and held her as she cried.



“I’m sorry, slay…Buffy. I’m such a git. I don’t know what I was thinking. I can be a right bastard sometimes.”



It felt so good to be in his arms, but she had to tell him. She had to do it before things went to far and then she’d never be able to tell him.



“Spike,” she pushed him away. “I’m sorry about the nose.”



He smiled in response.



“I need to tell you this. Please don’t interrupt me.”



“Fair enough.”



Shaking her head, she pursed her lips before continuing. “This is so hard to say. I can understand you not believing me. It is a crazy story.” She wiped her tears away. “I came back to save you. This demon who sent us here, is trying to kill you. I figure that by him taking us out of our dimension, he’s changed everything and all the good that we’re going to do together.”



Spike was trying to process everything she was telling him. He knew she was carrying a heavy load, but there was more, he could see it in her eyes and he wanted to take her pain away.



TBC

Chapter 9-



Spike had been pacing back and forth, only stopped momentarily to look at Buffy. She had remained quiet, allowing him to process everything. There was more to come and it was going to be one hell of a shock for Spike.



"So let me get this straight, this bloody demon sent me. us here to hell because he wants me dead? What demon doesn't?" He sighed. "You wanna tell me what the real reason is?" He knelt down in front of her.



Buffy looked up at him. Her tears were dry now but the tracks were still visible.



The look that she was now giving him broke his heart.



For all the times he treated her like shit, he would take it all back if he could, if he could take that pain on for her. In that instant, he regretted every moment he didn't treat her the way she should be treated.like the women she'd come to be.



"Are you sure you want me to go?" She asked, as she stalled the conversation.



He shook his head. "I'm sure."



"It's a lot to take in. I just don't want to." He interrupted her.



"All right already." Spike gritted his teeth as his eyes flashed yellow. "Quit the stalling, slayer!"



Sighing, Buffy said, "Ok."



He sat down in front of her, waiting for her to continue.



"I'm not going to go over every detail, 'cause that'd be to much information. I'm telling you what you need to know."


Spike shook his head and motioned with his hands for her to get on with it.



"In 2000, you were captured by a group called the Initiative. They planted a special chip in your head." Spike interrupted her once again, not liking the idea of someone messing in his noggin.



"What did this chip do?" He asked as he lowered the depth of his voice. It made Buffy shiver in all the right places. She practically had to slap herself mentally to keep herself in check.



Smiling wanly, she answered, "It preventing you from harming humans."



He stood up, appalled that someone would prevent him from doing what came natural to his kind.



"You let some lab coat prod around in my head, neutering me?" Spike was visible upset. He was ranting and raving and Buffy wished she could shut him up, but then that'd make things worse then they already were.



"I had no choice, Spike. I didn't even know it had happened until after the fact."



"Great. Just bloody great slayer!"



She stood up, defending herself. "We weren't exactly friends then, so why the hell did I care. You just became a damn nuisance," She calmed herself down and finished her thought in soft tone, "but at least you weren't feeding on humans."



"What the hell did I do then, pratt around with your little Scooby friends?" He began to turn away from her, but she stopped him by grabbing his arm gently. He looked down at her hand and then looked up at her pretty face. Those eyes did him in, but he didn't want her to know that.



"Spike, I think we need a moment or two." She removed her hand from his arm.



Placing his hands on his hips, he said, "No, I wanna know now!"



She turned away from him. "Alright."



"Fine!"



"Essentially you did that for next few years. At first you had your own agenda, but after awhile you had changed. Some of us learned to trust you and accept you for who you were, which was a good man, especially my and I sister." She paused for a moment, checking on a Spike and then she continued. "You and she became really good friends, even after my.death." She said the last part so low he almost didn't hear her.



"You're death, but how." He stopped, full well knowing it had to be magic that brought her back. "Oh I don't even want know..." He said that last statement derisively.



It was probably that witch friend hers.



"I died protecting Dawn." Was all she planned on saying. "I will be forever grateful for what you did for Dawn."



It was a hard time for her and she'd rather not repeat it a second time.



"I was in heaven and I was happy and I was loved, and then Willow pulled me out."



There had been hurt evident in her voice. Buffy trusted Willow with her sister's life but Willow had let her down time and time again. Even though that was the past, it still hurt Buffy. She didn't know if she'd ever truly get over something like that.



"And that brought you closer to me? To the dark side?"



He had a smirk on his face, but Buffy didn't notice right away. He was starting to understand, they must been romantically linked at some point, he thought. Especially since it was written all over her face, but to what extent their relationship was, is still questionable to him. His future self must have been deeply in love with this woman, Spike figured, because he was starting to feel something for her right now.



"You had already been in love with me by the time we started our relationship in secret."



"I suppose that was your idea to keep it secret."



Buffy was quiet for a moment and Spike waited patiently for her to continue.



"I didn't want my friends to know what they put me through. I keep the happy façade for their benefit, and the only time I really felt alive was when I was." He was in front of her and he pulled her up to her feet. Buffy and Spike looked each other deeply in the eyes. "The only time I ever really felt alive was when I was with you."



Caressing her cheek, Spike stood there momentarily before he leaned in for a kiss.



"Stop please," Buffy said breathlessly. She wanted it more than anything and mentally kicked herself for stopping.



He stepped away from her, hurt evident in his face. "What the hell did you that for?"



Buffy stepped towards him, but he turned away from her. He didn't want her to how hurt he really was.



"I'm sorry Spike. I can't do this now." She began to cry again. "I am sorry, Spike. There are just too many things I still need to tell you."



"Then get on with it!"



"All right then." Buffy sat back down as Spike leaned in door way. He'd lit a cigarette to calm his nerves. "I couldn't see what was really happening. I couldn't admit that I was falling in love you. So instead of admitting it, I was cruel to you. I wouldn't let my self feel what I was feeling. I wouldn't let you love me. I'd go to you when it really only suited to me. I was selfish. I thought if I admitted that I was using you, it would be ok to let you go. That just made things worse."



"And how's that, slayer?" He asked as he blew out a puff of smoke.



The images of the night, when things went too far, so far that neither one handled themselves the way they should have.



"One night," she swallowed hard, "you came to my house and things.things happened, and well you took off once you realized what happened."



He turned around quickly. "I didn't.I didn't hurt you did I?"



"Spike it was along time ago. It still hurts to think about it, but I have come to forgive you."



He turned away from her again and she continued.



"When you returned, you were different. You had done something no one other vampire had ever done."



"What would that be?" He crushed his cigarette under his boot.



"You got your soul." She said it so far he didn't think he heard her right.



"My soul? You mean like Angelus?" He asked incredulously as he turned to face her.



"No, nothing like Angel. Nothing at all. He never worked for his soul. You did that all by yourself. It's what helped you in the final battle. It was the day I love you came too late. You thought I said it because it would be the final words you'd ever heard." Buffy rose her feet and walked towards Spike. "I meant every word of it I said. I did love you...Still love you, Spike. That's never gonna change!" She stepped up on her tip toes, and kissed him softly on the cheek. "It's been so hard for me to be with you these few days. I want you so badly, but once we get off this stinking island, and go our separate ways, you'll go on as if this never happened and I have to live with losing you all over again."



Spike smiled down at her, thankful she was at least honest with him. He'd finally understood why she carried so much sadness on her shoulders, but now he needed to be alone for awhile, to process everything.



Looking down at her, Spike could see all the love in her eyes. "Thank you for being honest with me. I.I need to be alone by myself for awhile, but I promise I'll be back." He leaned in, kissing her soundly. It was the first time in a long time that Buffy had been kissed that way. It felt good. Before he left, he grabbed her journal and headed out towards the beach.



Buffy watched as he disappeared into the jungle. She didn't realize she'd been crying and she whipped them away, and headed back inside the cave.



TBC

Chapter 10-

Spike didn’t even turn back, although he desperately wanted to. He wanted to run back to her, scoop her up in his arms, and make mad passionate love to her all night long.

“I thought I could handle it, boy I was I bloody wrong.” He sighed as made his way through the brush. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so damn confused.” He had to get a way from her for awhile. Let it all sink in before he’d go back to her.

Something told me that I’ll always go back to her no matter what.

As he was holding his journal close to his heart, he realized it was the only possession that he’d kept with him throughout his whole life as a vampire. He never went anywhere without it. Dru never really cared for his poetry. Angelus teased him about it relentlessly. Even stole it from him one day, reading it front of everyone. Darla didn’t care one way or another.

William learned the hard way, way too often, and he wrote when he was alone, away from the vampires he’d come to call family.

When Spike hit the beach, it had started raining.

“Great!” He muttered under his breath, hurrying over to the shelter.

The sky was in hues of blues and purples. It was as if the sky knew just how Spike had felt.

He sat under the shelter to stay out of the rain.

Everything had changed in such a short time.

Spike had so many questions running through his mind that he didn’t have the answers to. He sighed, looking out over the ocean. The answers would come to he know that much.

He laid back, closed his eyes, and remembered the kiss he’d given her before he left. She was so tender with him, believed in him, and treated him like a man. No other person has ever treated him that way. How could he ever let something like that go?

Spike had drifted off to sleep, thinking about Buffy.

****
Buffy stood in the entrance hugging her self, waiting for Spike’s return, however, he never returned. I fell totally alone, she thought as she turned to back inside the cave. It was still light enough outside to where she could see inside the cave.

It wasn’t that she couldn’t take care of herself; she was the slayer after all. It was the fact that he left her after she poured her heart and soul out to him and then he left, just like ever other man in her life.

Then she came to the realization, “I’m so totally being selfish about this.” She sighed, but it still hurt to be left alone.

“Look on the bright side, I was honest with him, I told him the truth.” She was finally glad to get that off her chest. Finally able to make piece with the situation. It took a lot to apologize to him, but the weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

If Spike came back, Buffy was going to make it right with him. She had to. If not for herself then for the Spike that he was going to become.

Buffy reminisced about her past with Spike. The good and the bad, the highs and the lows, it was theirs and nothing or no one was ever going to change that. Not even that damn demon.

“This is a second chance for us, and I’m not going to jeopardize it.” She slid on Spike’s duster and lay down on the ground. “This second chance has to work with you Spike, so please come back to me. I don’t want to lose you. I want us to be together no matter what.”

She closed her eyes, and fell fast asleep, dreaming about things to come.

*******
Spike had been dreaming about Buffy. She was waiting for him back at the cave. He heard her calling out to him. She was saying, “This second chance has to work with you Spike, so please come back to me. I don’t want to lose you. I want us to be together no matter what.”

It was as if he was having an out of body experience as he watched her speaking. Then he saw himself enter into the cave. He stood there for the longest moment before going to Buffy.

“Buffy, love, wake up.” He shook her slightly. “Kitten, wake up for Spike.”

As he watched from above, he could feel the love surrounding him. It almost made him wanna cry, but how could he, when he didn’t have a soul?? How could he have these feelings he was having?? He didn’t understand any of it.

When she turned over in his dream, Spike had woken up.

“Whoa!” Spike sat up abruptly. “What the bloody hell?? That felt so damn real.”

He sat there, looking around for the longest time piecing everything together.

It hit him in that moment. The things that happened, or will happen, were meant to be. Spike wasn’t going to let that slip through his fingers. Buffy was right, what she said in her dream, ‘It only worked if he was going to be there.’

The rain had stopped in the middle of the night, but with the sun rising, it was sure to be a beautiful day.

Today was a brand new day. He watched as the sun rose up over the horizon. It was the brightest yellow he’d seen since ever. The sky was the bluest he’d seen. It was the most beautiful site he’d ever seen, but not as beautiful as the woman waiting for him in that cave.

A second later, Spike rose to his feet, and headed back to Buffy. “Things happen for a reason.” He shrugged.

********
Spike stopped in the entrance, watching Buffy much like he had done in his dream. An eerie feeling rose over him and he realized this was just how his dream began.

“Heh, this is way too bizarre.”

Spike made his way over to Buffy and made her a silent promise; he was never going to leave her, not in any life. Kneeling down in front of her, Spike gently caressed her cheek.

“Buffy, love, wake up.” He shook her slightly. “Kitten, wake up for Spike.”

Buffy’s eyes fluttered open slowly until Spike came into view.

She smiled up at him with love in her eyes. “You’re really here?”

“Yes, pet, I’m here.” He smiled back at her.

She quickly sat up.

“I’m glad that you came back.” She gave him a peck on the lips.

Spike cupped her face with in his hands, and said, “So am I.”

For the longest moment, Spike and Buffy looked into each others eyes. Spike broke the bond by speaking. He his arms fell to his side and Buffy almost moaned at the loss of contact.

“Before coming to you, I had this dream where I saw all of this. It was quite biz…” Rolling her eyes, Buffy said in a mock serious tone, “Shut up and kiss me, Spike!”

Drawing her close to his body, Spike did as he was told and kissed her. She instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck. It was the most intoxicating kiss he’d ever given her and she gave back as good as he was giving it to her.

Their tongues dueled for dominance, but soon it didn’t matter when Buffy’s need for air became an issue and they broke apart, only to moan at the loss of sensation.

“Make love to me, Spike!” Buffy panted lust evident in her eyes. “Let’s do this slowly, ok?”

It had been a long time since a woman had asked him to make love, and he was taken aback. The women he knew wanted it rough and fast, no feelings what so ever.

When Spike didn’t respond right away, Buffy began to get nervous and he quickly sensed it. He replied by kissing her once again. It was the sweetest most sensual kiss he could ever give. Spike could definitely get used to this, he thought as he laid Buffy to the ground, still kissing her.

TBC

A/N: Thanks to Andrea for betaing this chapter for me.


Chapter 11-



As Spike and Buffy kissed, their hands roamed over each other's body. For Buffy, it was getting reacquainted with his body. It had been a long time for her and she realized she missed being this intimate with him. For Spike, this was a learning experience. He needed to find out what she liked and didn't like, but he suspected what she liked. It was almost as if he already knew.


Feeling bold enough, Spike eased his hand down her stomach. He stopped kissing her momentarily, seeking her approval before he went any farther. She nodded her head and he proceeded underneath the waistband of her jeans and then into her panties.



Spike slid his finger inside her and raised his scarred eyebrow at her. "Mmmm." Spike moaned. Buffy was wet with anticipation. She ground herself against his finger. He moved his hand, teasing her. "Not yet, sweetheart."



"Spike," she whined.



Spike began stroking her clit in slow circles, eliciting a moan from her. Seeing his success, he continued his torturous pleasure path. Writhing back and forth, Buffy let the sensation envelop her, until she reached orgasm. He placed one finger inside her quim, pumping in and out, giving her mini orgasms until he hit her innermost spot, which gave her a mind numbing orgasm.



"SPIKE!" Buffy cried out.



He watched the myriad of emotions wash over her face as she came back to her senses, and smiled drowsily at him.



Spike couldn't help but grin back at her. His erection was growing by the minute, but he wanted to tend to her first. Before he continued, Spike adjusted his erection to a more comfortable position.

"That was," Buffy didn't have words to describe what she was feeling, but one thing she did know was that she'd never been happier in her entire life. Oh she'd been happy with Spike, but this was the happiest moment. "Wow! Fantastic!"



"It's gonna get even better!" He leaned in and kissed her. Their tongues fought for dominance and they only broke apart when Buffy needed to breathe.



A warm feeling came over Spike and he realized that what they were doing was right. He finally understood why his future self went to get his soul. He did it for her. He wanted to be a better man because of her. He just wanted to be with her more than anything and hoped that they could be together.



Being on the island had changed him. He felt like a better man. But would these changes remain when they left the island?



Hope I can pull it off, Spike thought.

She was amazed by this man. For a demon, he could be so soft and gentle and rough with her all at the same time and she liked it. This Spike just knew all the right spots, which amazed her even more, because technically this was his first time with her.



Spike gave her a lecherous grin to lighten up the mood a little. Then he swiftly removed her pants along with her panties with one tug and they flew across the cave. He didn't care where they landed.



What does he have going on in that head of his? She wondered as she raised her left eyebrow. "What?" She asked a few moments later.



"Just appreciating your finer qualities." He drawled seductively as he went down on her, licking and sucking in all the right places.



Buffy's eyes rolled back in her head as she enjoyed the sensations that Spike was giving her. She soon was calling out his name as she came once again.



Spike removed his clothing, and entered her. He stayed still for a moment, enjoying the warmth she was generating. Buffy wondered what he was up to and she squeezed her inner muscles. This got his attention.



"Hey." Spike protested as he looked down at her. "You'll end this before it gets started, Slayer!" he growled.



Buffy giggled in response. Spike began to move slowly and gently inside of her and she met every one of his thrusts. He never knew it could be like this. Whenever he was with Dru it was always hard, fast and sometimes painful, as Dru liked to inflict pain on him. Sometimes she liked it when he inflicted the pain on her. This time was different. Spike wanted to go slow. He wanted to make it last.



Roaming her hands softly along his back, Buffy let out a soft moan as he shifted his thrust. Spike left kisses along the hollow of her neck as he moved down to her breasts, suckling the right one, and then the left, giving each one equal treatment.



After a while, Spike decided to pick up the pace, sensing that Buffy was close to the edge. He reached down and began playing with her clitoris. She fell over the edge, crying out his name-- his given name. He stopped for a moment and watched her. It had been a while since anyone called him William and meant it that way.



"I love you!" she said softly, running her hands through his blonde hair.



Spike reached climax quickly. When he was finished, he disengaged himself from her. They both moaned at the loss. He lay on his side, propping his head up with his hand and he watched as she drifted off to sleep. He gently moved a strand of hair out of her face.



"I'm fallin' fast for you, love." Spike sighed and he rolled over, picking up his journal. He opened it up and began writing. A poem popped into his head. He had to write it down or else he'd forget. It was about Buffy.



Not a Day Goes By
Got a picture of you I carry in my heart
Close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark
Got a memory of you I carry in my soul
I wrap it close around me when the nights get cold
If you asked me how I'm doin' I'd say just fine
But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind...

When he was finished, he set the journal aside, and snuggled up against her. Then he was fast asleep, dreaming only of Buffy.



TBC



A/N2: The song Not a Day Goes By is by Lonestar. I found the lyrics at Lyrics on Demand.