Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. They belong to Joss Whedon, UPN, and FX.
Summary: (Season Six.) This story takes place after the first time Buffy sleeps with Spike. Even though the death of her Mother, and the departure of Riley happened so long ago, she is still ripped to pieces about it. She remembers what Spike told her about killing the past two slayers in season 5. Riley never knew about Angel.


Chapter 1: Ties to the World

She watched the dust settle around her. She coughed a little as some reached her lungs, then moved on. When Buffy staked a vampire, she usually felt nothing. Usually. But lately, she craved it, hungered for it. Almost like...........a vampire craved blood.
“Ties to the world....” Buffy mocked Spike. “Jack ass. Can’t believe he tried to hit on me! God! All I wanted was some help on how he killed those other slayers.” Buffy said to herself, remembering what Spike had said to her all those months ago. She had been thinking about those words spoken so long ago, because they seemed to be the only things that half explained why she was acting the way she was. But even then she was still confused.
Her mother’s death and Riley’s leaving was almost more then she could take. Even though those events had long since passed. Eight months ago. In that time, she had died, and had been brought back again. But where ever she was, she swore she remembered seeing her mother. But then, having to part with her all over again.....Then having to come back to the place she knew now as hell.......and she had no one to hold her. Riley was gone. And lately, she had been having weird feelings for a certain blonde vampire.......Now that really confused her. A part from it being wrong, wrong, wrong, it was weird. Something Spike told Riley so long ago, that sort of struck a nerve. Not really in a bad way either. It sort of.........explained some weird feelings she’d had about being a slayer and all that.
“Face it. She’s got a type, and your not it. She like’s a little monster in her man. You know, bumpys in the forehead region?” Riley had told her he’d said that. He laughed, mostly because she never told him about Angel. And she laughed with him, nervously, hoping that maybe he wouldn’t pick up on her somewhat dark craving. I mean, what was it with her and Vampires anyway?
Over one hundred and something vampires she’d killed since that night with Spike. That defiantly through Buffy for a loop. She didn’t understand why she craved so much violence and death. And that was just vampires alone. She couldn’t count how many random, your run-of-the-mill evil demons she’d killed that month.
“There you are.” Buffy froze. She didn’t know if she wanted to turn around and hit him, or run away, avoid again. As her mind reeled to make a decision, Spike had walked closer to her.
“Nice fight by the way luv. That vampire didn’t have a chance. And that fleet of what, ten Terrokos Demons you took out last week?” Buffy turned around, and almost jumped back in shock. She didn’t expect him to be only four feet away from her. Buffy huffed.
“Just leave me alone Spike. You disgust me.” She turned around and began to walk away. She expected him to run after her, or call out her name. He just laughed. She whipped herself around to see Spike laughing. It wasn’t a cocky laugh, it was more......like one of those laughs you have when you watch something amusing on TV.
“What?” Before her mind could have any input, her mouth worked. She hated when that happened. And it happened a lot. Stupid mouth. Spike’s laughter slowly subsided.
“Oh, nothing.” He waved his hand dismissively. “No skin off my back, slayer. I’m not the one who’s confused.” He turned to walk away and chuckled lightly to himself. Buffy glared at his back.
“Confused about what?” She cried out through gritted teeth. He stopped, but didn’t turn around. Instead he laughed harder.
“Spike!” Buffy shouted. He turned around.
“Like you don’t know what I’m talking about!” He shook his head lightly as his laughter finally subsided. Buffy’s eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms. Buffy’s trade mark demeanor when she was annoyed or angry.
“Thrill me.” She said with fake enthusiasm. Spike gestured around to the cemetery.
“This place has pretty much became your favorite hang-out spot hasn’t it? I mean, you’ve been visiting the cemeteries a lot more often haven’t you?” He shifted his weight on one leg and cocked his head at her.
“Mind tellin me just how many demons you’d done away with in just the past two weeks? A little more then ordinary isn’t it? Usually it would be like what, twenty five, thirty? Tell me Buffy. How many?” Spike looked at her expectantly. Buffy looked down, and whispered something incoherent. Spike heard her just fine though. He perked his ear with his hand.
“What was that Buffy?” Buffy glared at him.
“Over one hundred.” She whispered.
“Ah. Really now? You don’t say. Ever wonder why you didn’t-that is, up until last month with me- relish in the kill as much as those slayers before you?” He chuckled and turned to walk away from her again. Buffy sighed audibly.
“I know I’m going to regret this.” She said under her breath.
“Spike, wait.” Buffy said reluctantly, as much as she wanted to let him go---wait, is that *really* what she wanted? Spike stopped and spoke innocently.
“What’s that luv?” Buffy sighed audibly again.
“What did you mean by that?” She said in a way less cocky tone then she meant it to be. Spike huffed out of slight exasperation--the way he always did.
“Think about it Buffy. Your not like those other slayers. In fact, your way different then them.” He looked slightly upward and put his index finger on his cheek in a mockery of thinking. “Let’s see.........What could that possibly....Oh! Yes!” He said with fake enthusiasm. He then turned serious, and spoke normal.
“It’s that you have friends, and a sister. You ultimately have something they didn’t- something. worth. fighting for.” He emphasized his words.
“Yeah? Well, that’s not true.” She retorted. Spike rolled his eyes.
“Enlighten me Slayer.” He crossed his arms.
“They did have something to fight for. The world. All of it’s people.” She shot.
“Yeah, Buffy but the slayer didn’t know *any* of those people she was fighting for. So really, she never knew just how dear they were. You, on the other hand, know six of them. And that, is good enough.” He shook his head. “Ties to the world Buffy. That’s why you haven’t got a death wish. I told you that before.”
“That doesn’t explain my confusion Spike.” Spike through his hands up.
“Buffy! It explains everything! Bloody ‘Ties to the World’, that explains everything! Just those four words!” Buffy shook her head.
“No. That explains why I don’t want to die Spike. That doesn’t explain........” She sighed audibly. The confusion on Spike’s face melted into a sneer, and he drew his head back.
“Oh. Right. Your confusion is why your so hot for vampires. And just what is it that they have, that you lack?”
“Your a pig Spike.” Spike laughed at that.
“Yeah, yeah. I know. C’mon though. Really. Haven’t you got any other material to use besides that?” Buffy gritted her teeth.
“Just explain it to me Spike.” Spike narrowed his eyes, and leaned in towards her close.
“Ties. To. The. World Buffy. You still have your sanity. They didn’t. They were rigid and alone. Do you know what happens to a person when they have about as much human interaction as those past slayers? Cos let me tell you, how much they had was not much at all. Especially the one I killed in the Boxer Rebellion.” Spike scoffed. “Those past slayers were full of darkness. That’s how they fought. So when their time came to die, they didn’t fight Buffy. That’s why you’ve lived longer, because you fight. You have something worth it, to go home to.”
“Spike. You have not explained anything to me.” Spike screamed in exasperation, and picked up a grave marker and through it against another. Buffy just crossed her arms and waited for him to finish. “Are you quite done now?” She asked casually. Spike glared at her, and a low growl emitted from the far depths of his chest. He walked briskly to her until her face was mere inches from his.
“Listen sunshine. You have to get your darkness off somewhere. It‘s what Vampires have and you don‘t. That darkness.” Buffy gasped and slapped him hard across the face before her brain could register what it was the hand was doing. It didn’t even phase Spike.
“Your saying that vampires appeal to me, because I don‘t embrace my dark-side? Arh! That might be how those *other* slayers got by but not me!” Her voice seethed.
“That maybe, but that’s why you hunger for the darkness we possess. That‘s what we have, that you lack sunshine.” Spike smirked. “That’s why you tasted Dracula.” Buffy glared at him.
“I was under a thrall!” She retorted. Spike stared at her with his blue eyes. His stare was so penetrating, it was all she could do, but squirm helplessly beneath it.
“Buffy. Only those who truly crave it, crave a taste, crave to be tasted, let themselves fall into a thrall. Besides, you were hungry for what you didn’t have. That darkness.” He shook his head. “You think you know, what you are? You think you understand what a slayer is, and where and what her power is? You have no idea.” With that, he turned and walked off. It wasn’t long before the shadows hide him from her vision. Buffy wore a blank look on her face, and with lame motion, she slumped on a grave marker.

It had been at least four hours he had last talked to her. Four hours, that he had sat in his crypt. He could still smell her scent, and it was strong. He nervously paced around his crypt, wondering if he should tidy up, incase she came by.
“No!” Spike growled, and picked up a table and threw it across the crypt. The table exploded on impact, and pieces of wood went flying every where. A large piece came flying right at him.
“Whoa!” He jumped out of the way in time. If Spike would have stayed were he was standing, he would have defiantly been dust. He sighed audibly, and slumped into his worn out chair.
“No.” He said in a mournful tone. “She won’t come by here. She doesn’t-” He stopped himself. And sighed again. He could smell her. It seemed to be getting closer. But he could also smell death, so a vampire attack must’ve brought her there by accident. She wasn’t there on purpose. Spike sighed.
“There she goes. *Venting* as she calls it.” Spike shook his head.
Just then, the door slammed open. Spike jumped up in surprise and watched at Buffy slammed the door behind her and slumped against it. Slowly with her back against the door, she slid done until she was sitting. Her breath came out fast and ragged. Spike studied her, and without thinking walked quickly to her.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, concerned. Buffy looked up at him, her breath still ragged.
“I ran into a nest......and, and one of them.....they grabbed my stake, and broke into like tiny little splinters-there were at least ten of them.” Buffy’s breathing had slowed a little. Spike looked a little closer at her. It was then that he’d noticed several bruises on her body. He knelt beside her.
“Well, are you alright now?” Buffy nodded.
“Yeah. Do you have any extra stakes around.” Spike looked around the crypt. He was hopeful not to find anything- he wanted her to stay. His heart sank when his eyes fell upon the broken table. Reluctantly, he spoke.
“Yeah. Over there. The broken table. I’ll-I’ll get a good piece for you. I’ll do it quick. I guess you have to be on your way.” Buffy picked up on his tone. It sounded so broken hearted, and sad, that she just wanted to--wait.....*I don’t care how he feels.* She thought inwardly. Spike returned with a piece of wood with a sharp edge. Buffy stood and took the stake from him. She looked behind him at the table.
“What happened?” She asked, amused. Spike scratched the back of his neck and squirmed for an answer that wouldn’t send her off into thinking she needed to use that nice piece of wood on him. Buffy watched him squirm. Her eyes widened as realization struck. *He must’ve been frustrated because I-*
“Look I gotta go. Thanks for the stake.” Buffy turned around and walked towards the door when she felt a protesting hand take up her arm.
She turned around.
“Buffy-” Buffy shook off his hand.
“Spike I need to go.” With that, she was back out in the cool air of the cemetery.

Chapter 3: Blinded

“Okay. I have another stake now...Let’s see those bastards brake this one...” Buffy had wondered aimlessly, looking for her vampire foes until from behind her she heard,
“Slayer.” Buffy quickly turned around and was faced with the same ten or twelve that had almost killed her before. The fight quickly started as she plunged at the first vampire she saw. She had dusted about three of them, before the rest had started taking advantage of her weariness. He had some how managed to encircle, and surround her. The began closing in on her, and soon taking there turns at bashing. She fighting back, and went to stake one, when it grabbed the stake and completely obliterated it. She watched helplessly as the vampire opened his had and let the tiny shards of wood fall to the ground with an evil chuckle. While she watched this, one of the vampires behind her hauled off and hit her with all his might. She took the blow the her upper back. Then another in her side, then another in her stomach, then one to the head. She fell helplessly to the ground, and before the blackness engulfed her, she thought she saw a waft of platinum blonde hair.
Spike had gotten there just in time to see her fall. Alarm rose high in his chest at the thought of losing her. He ran towards the vampires, with a stake in each hand. He had managed to get two of them dusted. Now he just had to worry about the other seven. Not to worry though, he had faced more. The fight itself was extremely easy for him. He had tons of feelings to vent out, and that worked out well for him. The fight was over and he stood in the wake of seven piles of dust.
“Tch! Bloody wankers, thinkin’ they could take me....” He thoughts were cut away when his eyes fell to Buffy’s badly beaten body.
“Guess she chose not to fight this time......” He said with an extremity of concern and fear. He picked her up, and began walking to his crypt. The sudden movement stirred Buffy. Thinking one of her attackers was taking her somewhere, her eyes shot open.
“No!” Spike, stopped walking and looked at the slayer in his arms. Even with her eyes open, all she could see was black. She had gone completely blind. When she realized this, she was immediately alarmed. “Oh god..” She whimpered. Buffy brought her hand up slowly, and caressed Spike’s check lightly. Still trying to make out who it was she spoke. “Shhh. It’s okay.” Spike said gently. She must not have heard him.
“.......Can’t see........” She sounded so scared, and vulnerable. With a trembling hand, she the tips of her fingers over his cheek, and she felt the definite indent there. Then they moved to his lips. She gently ran her fingers over his lips. They were full, and soft. Immediately she knew who was holding her. She had felt his lips on hers before.
“......Spike...............safe...” Now with assurance that she was safe, she let her head loll back and slip into unconsciousness. Spike just looked at the woman he held in his arms, as he tried to register what it was she had done. The first thing he realized is that she must’ve been blind. She had said she couldn’t see. She was so scared, and weak. The next thing he realized, was how she found out it was him. She had felt his features. He smiled as his eyes welled with tears. Maybe there was hope for him after all.

Chapter 4: Reunion

When Spike reached the inside of his crypt, he laid her gently on the one sarcoughagus with blankets. He covered her so she’d be warm. Then he sat down, and just watched her sleep.
“I can’t believe she didn’t bloody fight those guys.” Spike thought aloud. “Damn it. She usually eats that many for....for....for bloody breakfast, and stands in their wake. So the bloody question is why she didn’t fight.....” Then it dawned on Spike. She felt depressed. Chances are she probably wasn’t just feeling it, she probably was. Buffy stirred in her sleep. Spike smiled at how innocent and carefree she could look while sleeping. Spike stood and walked over to were Buffy was sleeping. He caressed her cheek.
“Buffy, luv. Don’t you see? You need some one to help you.” He whispered. “You need that darkness. Because in the darkness is were your power lies. You have to stop rejecting it---Or you’ll die.”
**************
A few hours later, Buffy awoke with a start. She jerked herself into a sitting position. Her eyes were wide with fear, but she saw nothing but darkness.
“Oh god!” She whimpered. She brought her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around her legs. Slowly, she began to rock back and forth.
“SPIKE!” She shrieked. Her voice was distorted from her sobs. Spike jumped. And the sight he awoke to broke his heart. He ran to her side and enveloped her into his embrace.
“Shhh. I’m right here. It’s okay. Your alright now.” Buffy arms desperately clung to him. She was crying, but tried to hold it back.
“Spike? I can’t- I-I can’t see anything.” Spike gently began to rock with her in his arms.
“Shh. I know. It’s okay. It won’t last forever though. I promise. It’ll only be temporary.” His voice was quiet and soft. It comforted her a little, and eased some of her worries.
“I want to go home.” She sobbed. Spike sighed audibly.
“And I would love to do so, but the suns’ up.” Buffy shivered. Spike got up to get his duster for her. Once he released her she became extremely alarmed.
“Spike? Where are you? What are you doing?” With each word, hysteria rose higher.
“It’s okay. I’m right here. I’m just getting-” He was interrupted.
“I’m sorry.” She sharply whispered. “I know I’ve been rude to you. But don’t leave me. I-I-I...I can’t see anything.” She jumped a little when she felt the duster drape over her shoulders. And right after that, she felt Spike’s arms around her once again.
“What about your other senses? Are they okay? Or is it just your sight?” Spike asked gently. Buffy sniffled.
“Well, Giles taught me how to manage without my sight, but......everything is so jumbled...I can hear just fine...but I feel..........lost. It feels like everything and everyone is lost.....” Her words were cryptic of sorts, but he understood exactly what she meant.
When nightfall came, he carried her back to her house. He reached the front door, he banged on it with his foot to attract attention.
“ ’Ey! Some one open u-” The door swung open. Behind it stood a worried sick Dawn. She saw Buffy in his arms.
“Buffy!”
“Step aside ’bit. Let me get her to the couch.” When she was laid on the couch, Dawn quickly knelt beside her.
“Dawnie?” Buffy ran her fingers through Dawn’s dark brown hair and smiled. Dawn smiled.
“What’s wrong Buffy? Your acting-”
“She can’t see. She’s blind.” Looking at the way Dawn was looking at Spike, which was terrified, he quickly added, “Don’t worry Nibblet. It’s only temporary. She’ll be ship shape in a few days or so. I’d better call Giles though.” He took two steps.
“No!” She blushed at the amount of anxiety her voice held, so she added, “Spike stay here with me.” Buffy called out aimlessly in the dark. “Dawnie, could you call him?” Dawn smiled.
“Sure.” When she left the room Spike walked over to Buffy.
“What is it?” Buffy couldn’t see herself, but she was sure she knit her brow.
“What do you mean, ’what is it?’” She asked confused.
“Well, what did you want to talk to me about?”
“Huh?” Buffy said. Spike chuckled.
“I mean why did you call me over here.”
“Oh. I-I just-. I feel safer when-when-“ Buffy was relieved to be interrupted. Spike sighed audibly. She was going to say something, he could see it in her eyes. Despite the bad timing, he smiled.
“Giles said he’d be here in like-” Dawn was interrupted when the door swung open. It was Giles.
“Dang!” Dawn said.
“Where is she?” He barged into the living room.

Chapter 5: Words Mirrored by two

“Oh good lord.....Buffy? Are you alright?” He brought his hands up to her cheeks, then pulled her to him.
“Giles.” Buffy hugged him. “I’m okay.” Giles looked over at Spike while still holding Buffy.
“How did this happen?”
“Well, there were about twelve vampires out there. They had her surrounded, and were taking turns playing ‘kick the slayer’ I got there just as one of them hit her with a heavy blow to the head. She collapsed, and then I took over. Dusted the rest then took her to my crypt until nightfall.” Giles looked back to Buffy.
“Well, thank god you got to her in time Spike. You-” He looked over to Spike, and released Buffy. A look of astonishment was about his gentle features. “You saved her.” Giles said. Spike wasn’t sure what was so amazing, or astonishing.
“Well, yeah! What did you think? I was just going to watch as those wankers beat her to death? Any one with any decency would have helped her.” Spike said. Giles nodded.
“Yes. It seems so.” He said pointedly. “Thank you Spike. But, I think I can handle it from here. I’m afraid I must do the watcher thing, and give Buffy some activities to do to exercise her other senses and make them stronger until her vision comes ba-” Giles was cut off, but the front door suddenly opening. Willow and Tara walked in, laughing care freely, and enjoying each other’s company. They had just got back from a “Willow-Tara” day out. It was Tara who first realized something was wrong, when everyone was gathered around Buffy in the fashion that they were. She had immediately stopped laughing, and her carefree smile disappeared.
“What’s going on?” Tara asked. Willow looked around at everyone crouched around Buffy.
“Yeah, and why is everyone all, crowdy around Buffy?” Willow asked, taking a step forward. Giles mouth moved trying to answer. Willow looked at him, with he brow scrunched. Her face was too demanding, and Giles closed his mouth and looked away. Buffy sat up.
“Willow?” Buffy slowly swung her legs off the couch and stood. Giles, Dawn and Spike stepped back to give her space- especially Spike. Buffy cautiously took two steps toward her friend. Willow took immediate note of how she was moving. Buffy, not trusting that she wouldn’t run into something, reached her hand out to Willow.
“Will?” Buffy said again. Willow took Buffy’s hand.
“Okay.” Willow started. “Somebody better tell me what the hell is going on.” Willow said as she gently pulled Buffy towards her. Willow and Buffy hugged for a little while. When they released each other, Willow helped Buffy get to the couch, and she sat down herself, and looked expectantly at Giles again. Giles had explained, and Spike filled in all the blanks.
**********************
*Some time later*

“Oh god........” Willow trailed off. Tara finally took a seat on the couch next to
Willow, and took her hand into her own.
“They....You almost died.” Willow said, not believing what she had just been told. “You know, you’ve had a long day. Why don’t you just let Xander, Tara, Anya, Spike and I handle patrolling now for a while. Ya know, just until......just until....you get your vision back.” Willow said the last part quickly.
“What?! No! Really. I’m fine I can pat-” Willow stood quickly, still looking down at her best friend.
“N-no!” She held up her index finger. “Th-this is not open for discussion, Buffy you almost......you almost died....*again*!” Willow emphasized. Tara nodded, in agreement.
“Yeah Buffy. W-we’re not saying t-to stop slaying altogether, we just want you to take a breather, a-and relax a little Buffy.”
“Yeah. Don’t worry Buffy. Xander, Tara, Anya, me and Willow will handle all the slaying business.” Dawn piped up, trying to sneak her name into the Slaying column.
Buffy’s eyes went wide.
“Dawn!” Her head darted back and forth trying to find her sister. “Damn it! Where ever the hell you are, the answer is NO! You are not going out there! She is not going out there!” Buffy said, pointing at Dawn. Giles took Buffy’s hand and moved it in the total opposite direction of what it was pointing to, so now she was actually pointing at Dawn. Dawn sat down defeated. Buffy sighed.
“I’m tired I think I’m going to go up to my room to sleep.” Buffy said, and got up.
“Oh God! Okay um.....I’ll walk you up there.” Willow said, fearing her friend would get hurt. Willow ran up to Buffy, and put on arm around her waist, and held Buffy’s hand with her other. Willow led Buffy up to her room exactly like that.
“Ya know Willow,” Buffy said as they reached the tenth step. “I know my own house. I don’t need to be pampered.” Buffy said. Willow ignored her and kept walking.
“Right, cos it’s not like you wouldn’t run into any walls or, I dunno, trip over this basket that is in the middle of the hall way.......” Willow said.


**********************
The next days were pretty much hell for Buffy. Everyone treated her like a porcelain doll, that if it was touched, it would suddenly fall into a million pieces or something. No one would let her patrol at night, they took over for her. They wouldn’t let her be alone in the house, for fear of an attack on the house, and her not being able to see, and every time she got up to do something, some one always accompanied her there. Buffy knew the gist came from the heart, but it was getting annoying, the way they treated her like.........god, like she was helpless. She had felt that once, her sophomore year when Giles had injected her with a needle. She hated that feeling. The only person that was half way decent about was Spike. He was a little edgy about a few things, but he gave her ample space, or at least more space then the rest of the Scoobies.
It had been three long days that Giles had worked with Buffy on heightening her senses enough to were she could fool any one into thinking she could see, even though her sight hadn’t improved. And it had been three long days that Giles worried over how Buffy almost died. It was only twelve vampires. Today was nearing the end of the third day, and today he decided he would have to say something.
“Okay, I think that’s good for today Giles. I’m all sight-heightening exercised out. What time is it anyway?” Giles looked at his watch. It’s about four thirty in the afternoon. Now Buffy are you sure you’ll be alright?” Giles asked.
“Yes, I’ll be fine.” Buffy tried not to sound exasperated. Giles noted that, and knew that it wasn’t going to get any better, from what he was about to say. In fact, her exasperation would grow worse....much...much worse.
“Buffy.” Giles started. “There’s something I want to talk to you about, that’s rather important.” Buffy laughed.
“Don’t worry Giles. I already know about the birds and the bees.” Giles was confused, but smiled and played along anyway.
“Yes, well they are feisty little creatures. I wanted to make sure.” Giles chuckled, and then abruptly stopped upon seeing the look on Buffy’s face. He cleared his throat uncomfortably.
“Yes, well anyway. This is not about animals. Th-This is about you. You as a slayer. Buffy it is imperative that you tell me what went on the night you almost died. Buffy sat up uncomfortably.
“Giles, I *am* *not* going to talk about that.” Buffy resisted. Giles sighed audibly.
“Buffy.” He took of his glasses, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Listen to me. Do you remember last year, when a vampire reversed your stake, and stabbed you in the stomach with it? And then that led to the whole fiasco of you going to Spike for help....” Giles shook his head to clear it of the memories. “I need to know what happened.”
“NO.” Buffy said more sternly this time. “I’m not going to go over how I almost died! I mean, don’t you think it’s a little traumatic when someone almost dies?” Buffy said.
“Now in all fairness Buffy. You’ve already died twice. And I haven’t gotten to talk you about any of those experiences either. What you have to say could help any future slayers.”
“Oh! Oh! So what, since I died twice, I should just be magically over it now, and be able to freely explain the thoughts that went through my head when I thought I was going to die? That’s morbid Giles. I’m not going over it. I don‘t know what I thought Giles. It‘s a slayer thing- a thing of the slayer. I guess I didn‘t really have anyone to-.” Buffy sighed. “That could be part of it.” She said, not wanting to tell him any more than what she already had.
“But you used to have-”
“But he left Giles!” Buffy shouted, not wanting to bring back painful memories about Riley.
“Alright. Look. I know, and understand that having people like that around you help you fight easier. But-” She cut him off again.
“What do you mean by that?” Buffy asked.
“Well, all the other slayers that I’ve heard of, didn’t have anyone. Do you remember Kendra, and how she was trained?” Giles tone of voice suggested that he was trying to give Buffy an answer that wouldn’t make her scream. “She was taught that, that alone was better. She was able to connect with, well, I’m reluctant to say, her dark side. And that helped her for a while, but eventually it ate her up.....” Giles trailed off. “ Look, Buffy I just want to prevent that from happening to you. The way you fight is quite different then all the past slayers. But if you cut yourself off, you begin to subconsciously depend on that darkness. ” Buffy stared in shock. She hoped she was actually looking at him. Shocked mainly, because Spike had told her the same thing. But then there was that thing were Giles told her she had a demon side. And while half of her knew that was probably true, she was still livid.
“My *What?*” Buffy asked in a barely controlled tone. Giles knew he struck a nerve.
“Now Buffy don’t get angry every Slayer has one.” He had his hands up, trying to reason with her.
“Not. Me. I don’t have one. I. Do. Not. Have a dark side Giles. I am a slayer. I kill demons.”
“Buffy your over analyzing this. Just please listen to me and hear me out, because you don’t seem to understand. This was how she was first brought about. This was how the First slayer was made. They combined her with a demon essence. They gave her the strengths of a demon-of-of a vampire it seems. And that side of you, well it‘s never really been part of you. But your missing something, though I don’t know what. That is why I need to know what went on through your head before you died. It might give me an inclination of what your being deprived of. Though I don’t know what, you are cutting yourself off from something. One day.......One day my dear girl, that deprivation will get you killed.”
****************
Buffy listened for the rumblings of Giles’ car. When she could no longer hear them, she jumped off the couch.
“Whoa! Where do you think your going? Do you need some help?” Dawn asked. Buffy walked into the entry way and grabbed her coat.
“I’m going to take a walk to calm down. It’s daytime, I’m safe, don’t worry Dawnie. Besides I need to go get my coat from Spike’s anyway. Do you see this one?” She held up the spare coat. “It isn’t the one I like. The one I like is at Spike’s. Don’t worry. I’ll be back in about 45 minutes.” Buffy walked out the door.
“Buffy wait! Please?” Dawn called out after her. Buffy turned around with an expectant look on her face.
“Umm Buffy?” Dawn said in a small voice. “I’m a little more to your left.” Buffy turned a little more so she was actually looking at her sister, even though she still couldn’t see her. “I don’t think you going out is such a good idea. Especially alone and without help. I don’t think it’s safe.” Dawn said. “I-I mean, you know with you being blind and all.” Buffy’s mouth was agape.
“What about me being the slayer? Did we overlook that?!” Buffy called out. “I’ll be back. Like I said.” Buffy turned to leave. Dawn stepped off the porch, and ran in front of Buffy.
“Buffy, I was told not to let you out of the house alone. Th-they just don’t think it’s safe.” Even though she couldn’t see it, she could really hear how worried Dawn was.
“Dawnie. I promise I’ll be back soon. Don’t worry about me. I’m going to Spike’s. It’s a short walk there. Nothing will happen to me okay? Look, I know that you guys only want me to be safe, but I feel like I’m being suffocated with all the hugs and attention. Just please let me go on this walk, and relax alone?” Buffy asked. Dawn hesitated.
“Alright. Fine. But just please hurry back.” Dawn said. Buffy smiled.
“I will.”
***************

Sorry that took so long guys....Hopefully your still reading it!!!

Buffy felt the soft breeze against her skin as she made her way to the cemetery. On her way, she thought about some things. The things Giles and Spike had said. “.....They gave her the powers of a vampire it seems.” That really got Buffy’s attention. “...It’s what Vampires have that you lack sunshine...” Buffy was starting to understand what was going on, but didn't want it to be true. She pushed the issue away. When she felt the familiarity of were she was at, she realized that she must be at Spike’s crypt.
“Okay, I’ll just go in, get my coat, and not be angry. I can hide it. I can hide my, my being angry.” She firmly nodded. It seems that Buffy Anne Summers was incredibly good at hiding her feelings these days....
**************
Spike paced his crypt, waiting for the long hours to carry the sun away. He stopped in his mid pacing tracks when he smelt the familiar smell of vanilla.
“Well, I better get away from the door, because she coming, and she’s still blind. She’ll open the door, and keep it open to long without thinking, cos she can’t see. Then, I’ll be able to fit in one of those fancy shmancey ash trays...” Spike stepped into the shadows. Not long after he did this, sure enough Buffy walked in. And yes, she left the door open to long, and yes, if Spike wouldn’t stayed where he was, he would have been able to fit in an ash tray. Like clock work.
“Spike? Are you here?”
“Yeah I’m here. And I’d love to come to you, but fact is, I have a slight allergic reaction to the sun. So if you’d be a luv and just shut the door....”
“Oh! Sorry.” Buffy said as she quickly shut the door.
“Ah. Thank you. So, what brings you to this neck of the woods?” He asked, stepping out of the shadows.
“I was just wondering if my coat was here. I think I left it here a couple of days ago.”
“Oh yeah. It’s right here.” Spike reached for the coat that was draped on the back of his arm chair.
“Here you go.” He handed it to her, and in doing so, walked closer to her.
“Thanks.” Buffy turned around and was now out the door. Despite the sun, Spike reached out to grab her arm. He was sure he’d regret that action momentarily.
“Buffy wait. You don’t have to go. Why don’t you stay? I just- It’ll be a while before the sun goes do-” At that moment Spike’s whole arm emitted into flames. He screamed in pain and recoiled. “I feel lost without you Buffy.” He looked away from his arm and watched Buffy to see her reaction. She looked over in the general direction Spike was in, and shook her head sadly.
“I’m sorry you feel lost Spike. But I can’t do anything about that. I’m sorry.” She began to walk again.
“Buffy! We slept together! Doesn’t mean anything?” He asked desperately. Buffy turned around.
“It happened a week ago Spike. It wasn’t-” She was interrupted.
“Why do you always push me away?” Spike asked. “Haven't you learned anything yet? “You need me luv! I'm a vampire.” She didn't know where she got the accuracy, but she somehow found it. Buffy slapped him dead in the face.
"I do not depend on anyone because of what they are, much less you Spike." She spat.
Buffy shook her head again and begun walking. She turned around once more.
"And one more thing, I don't like to be touched. Everyone's been touching me, and smothering me. I'm tired of it. Do not lay your hands on me again.” She turned and walked off.
***************************


All the way home she was lost in thought. Before she knew it, she was back at her door. Well, really she was blind so she could actually know that it was her door..........
“Hey Dawnie. Ya here?” Buffy called out as she closed the door.
“Hey Buffy.” Dawn answered. “I’m in the living room.”
“Okay. Well I’m kinda tired so I’m just going to go upstairs and listen to my radio okay?” Buffy asked. Dawn jumped up off the couch.
“Do you need help getting upstairs Buffy?” Dawn asked. It took all Buffy had not to punch something. *God, I am so sick of this!* She thought inwardly.
“Dawn I'm fine. Okay?” Buffy said a bit short. "What time is it?" Buffy asked.
“About fifteen minutes past five.” Dawn said quietly, noting the tone Buffy had used with her.
“Okay.” Buffy began climbing the stairs. Once she reached the top she felt her way down the hall and into her room. Once inside, Buffy shut the door behind her, and begun the difficult task of feeling around for her remote. When she finally found it, she was grateful she had the tuner and volume buttons memorized. Buffy slumped on her bed and pressed the button to the radio. A song by Three Doors Down came on.
“There. A nice song, that won’t lead me to thoughts of Spike. Yup, I’m going to be doing some *serious not thinking of Spike.*” She turned up the volume as the song came on.


**There’s another world inside of me that you may never see......**


This immediately reminded her of how Spike always told of how he loved her. He always spoke if this totally different side of himself. Professions of love, turning against his own nature for her. But do you think she'd ever see that side of Spike?


**There’s secrets in the life that I can’t hide Well somewhere in this darkness there’s a light that I can’t fine Well maybe it’s too far away Or maybe I’m just blind...**


Buffy sat up uncomfortably. All her life Buffy had wished for a love of normalcy. She had thought that she found that with Riley, but then he left her. “.....Well maybe it’s too faraway......” Maybe Buffy just wasn’t meant to find it. “.......Or maybe I’m just blind......” Or maybe it was in front of her the whole time. The song went on.


**........Maybe I’m just blind So hold me when I’m here Right me when I’m wrong
Hold me when I’m scared And love me when I’m gone.....**


That’s exactly what Spike had done for her. When she went blind, he held her when she was absolutely terrified. “..........And love me when I’m gone.......” And Spike did. He loved her even after she died. Since she had come back, she had kissed him twice and slept with him once. After each kiss she would walk away, each step was like a knife into her own heart, and she didn't want to understand why. And after she slept with him, she had told him some pretty nasty things on her way out. But it didn’t matter what she said to him. He'd still ’love her when she was gone,’ when she left him.


**Everything I am And everything in me Wants to be the one you wanted me to be....**


Buffy was reminded how much Spike had changed for her, so he could be what she was looking for in a man.


***I’ll never let you down Even if I could I’d give up everything If only for your good.....**


Tears streaked down from Buffy’s blind eyes. Literally, and figuratively. “.....I’ll never let you down Even if I could......” Buffy remembered when Glory had Spike kidnapped, and how she tortured and almost killed him while trying to get any information on the key. Even with all of his blood spilled, not a single word was breathed about Dawn from his lips. And all those little times where she treated him like dirt, but every time she came to him he would help her. He never ever let her down. Even though he could have. “....I’d give up everything If only for your good.....” And on the last battle, the day Buffy died, he had fallen at least fifty feet trying to save Dawn. She remembered how he put everything on the line for her and Dawn. How he easily risked every thing for the safety of her and Dawn. Could William, her Resolute Guardian be worthy enough to be loved?


**So hold me when I’m here Right me when I’m wrong Hold me when I’m scared You won’t always be there So love me when I’m gone......Love me when I’m gone** **When your education x-ray cannot see under my skin I won’t tell you a damn thing that I could not tell me friends**
**Roaming through this darkness, I’m alive but I’m alone**


Before Buffy could form another thought, she switched the station.
“To many reminders...” Buffy said to herself. On the next station, Avril Lavinge came on with one of her new songs called “Naked.” Buffy smiled.
“There. Avril should be nice and relaxing. No reminders of Spike...”
Buffy turned the volume up as the music started.


**I wake up in the morning Put on my face The one that’s gonna get me Through another day Doesn’t really matter How I feel inside ‘Cause life is like A game sometimes......**
That was how Buffy felt when she was brought back from death. It didn’t matter how she felt, as long as she went through all the motions to fool her friends. Though she still couldn’t fool herself………..or Spike.


**But then you came around me The walls just disappeared Nothing to surround me And keep me from my fears I’m unprotected See how I’ve opened up Oh, you’ve made me trust**

**Because I’ve never felt Like this before I’m naked Around you Does it show?
You see right through me And I can’t hide I’m naked Around you And it feels so right**



She could never hide anything from Spike because he could always see through her. He was the one who knew long and before anyone else that Buffy was actually in heaven, and not hell. Buffy actually had to admit that she felt herself around Spike, and it was a wonderful feeling to have someone who knew you like that. She didn’t have to hide the way she felt around him.


**I’m trying to remember Why I was afraid To be myself and let the Covers fall away**


The more the song progressed, the more tears fell from her unyielding eyes to sight. And the more the song went on the more Buffy wondered why she hid herself from Spike. Well, why she hid her feelings of love from him anyway. But that’s just like hiding yourself so she might as well have been.


**I guess I never had Someone like you To help me, to help me fit In my skin....**


More tears fell as Buffy let the song finish out.


**I never felt like this before I’m naked Around you Does it show? You see right through me And I can’t hide I’m naked Around you And if feels so right I’m naked Oh, oh yeah Does it show? Yeah, I’m naked Oh, oh, yeah yeah, I’m so naked around you And I can’t hide You’re gonna see Right through me, baby.....**


When the song was finished, Buffy felt around the night stand and shut the radio off. In bitterness, she threw the remote some where off to the side of her bed. More tears fell down her cheeks. Buffy laid there and tried to go to sleep but nothing worked. She decided to feel her way back downstairs. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she felt her way into the living room. She could hear Tara, Willow and Dawn laughing at something on the t.v.
"Hey guys. I couldn't sleep. I'm kitchen bound for snacks. Does any body want anything?" She asked leaning against the door frame. Dawn and Willow rushed up to her.
"Uuhh, no! No. We-we can get it. Right Dawnie?" Willow looked at Dawn. She quickly nodded.
"Yeah. We can. Don't worry about it. Let us get you stuff." Dawn said.
"Uh, no guys that's--" Buffy was cut off.
"So why don't you let us help you to the couch and we can-" Buffy ripped her arms out of Willow's and Dawn's grips. After seeing this Tara sprung up from her sitting position on the couch. Willow scrunched her brow, and Dawn took a step back.
"Look! I-I'm tired of everybody *touching* me! Okay? Does anybody remember that I'm still the slayer? Huh? I can handle myself, in here and out there!" Buffy shouted. "So you guys just, back off, okay?" With that, Buffy grabbed her coat and left the house slamming the door behind her. Willow rushed to the door to go after Buffy. Tara took up her shoulders.
"Willow, wait." Tara said. Willow turned to face her lover.
"But she's in trouble! I have to go after her, she- she could get hurt!" Willow exclaimed.
"Buffy's right. She can handle herself. Let's not go after her just yet okay? Just give her some time and space to cool off." Tara said.
******************

Sorry, Sorry, sorry that took sooo long!!! But I gave you guys a semi long chappie to make up for it. Thanks for sticking with it guys!

Reviews do help the posting process!!

Once again, Buffy found herself walking alone in the cemetery. Everyone made her feel so damn helpless the past couple days. She wished she had some one who wouldn't coddle her the second they saw her. She just wanted to be treated equally for once....she just wanted to be treated like she could hold her own, instead of needing to be held.

Since there was no one like that right now, she'd just have to walk around and get into fights with the run of the mill idiot vampires, thinking they could kill her, and take over Sunny dale. The fact was they were wrong, and their stupidity annoyed her, but at least they didn't want to coddle her. Blind or not, ready or not, they always forced her to hold her own, which she couldn’t get that from her friends as of late. That's why she decided to come to the cemeteries. She was ready, willing and.......not so able to fight. On her rampaging haste to get out of the house, she had forgotten to grab a stake. She could go back, but didn't want to face Will, Dawnie and Tara just yet. She needed time to breath. They weren't giving it to her, so she took it, and took off.

She couldn't go to Spike's for a stake.... but then again, he wouldn't let her go......though he wouldn't coddle her either....She caught herself contemplating going over there, and quickly shook her head.

"No. I'm angry with him. Remember Buffy?"
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Spike loomed around his cemetery, looking for something, anything he could pummel and kill. His arm still hurt from earlier when he stuck it out in the sun like a bloody pilic.

Spike stopped suddenly. He could smell vanilla…..and he could sense the slayer. He could sense Buffy. He looked around for her presence, but he couldn’t see her yet. But he knew she was close by. He walked for a couple a minutes more, until he could see her. Just as she came into his view, Buffy stopped in her tracks. She sensed him. Spike saw her throw up her hands. Spike decided that he might as well go to her now. She already knew he was there. He might as well take what he wanted from her.

“Spike what do you want? To coddle me? Take a number and get in line. No one can keep their hands off me.” She said with disdain. Spike stopped smirking. He knew that if he smirked while he spoke to her, she’d hear it in his voice.

“No. I don’t want to coddle you.” He said looking at her.
“Then what do you want?” She asked crisply. Spike walked closer to her, and tucked a stray lock behind her ear.
“I want to dance with you.” He said in a provocative whisper. Buffy’s heart began to race, and her muscles tensed, reacting to his words. She took a step back.

“You want to dance?” She said in the same provocative whisper.
“Let’s dance.” She said.

Buffy knew that she was feeding his vanity, and cockiness, not to mention his true nature in pitting vampire against slayer. But she couldn’t help it. This is exactly what she was looking for. The blood and adrenaline rush was calling to her. This is the chance that she had, to prove she could do it. She could feel her blood pumping for it, screaming for it. Her skin hummed, as her muscles tensed and rippled beneath it. She couldn’t deny something as this to herself. It was her nature, as it was his. *I’ll teach him,* She thought to herself *that I don’t need to be coddled*

Buffy smiled darkly, and advanced.
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+


Willow paced in circles in the living room. Dawn had been gently sent to bed by Tara hours before. Now Tara resided on the couch, watch her Willow pace. She couldn’t blame her. Tara was worried sick too. It was long over due since Buffy should’ve been
home, and that’s why they sent Dawn to bed before she could worry.

Finally Willow stopped and faced Tara. She had tears in her eyes, as well as on her cheeks.

“Tara she’s out there. I drove her out there. We—we have to go out and find her Tara. She’s blind. She can’t see.” Willow said, her lungs voluntarily sucking in air. It was the after math of crying a lot. Tara stood and walked over to the side of Willow.

“Okay.” She shook her head. “But let me call Giles, Xander, and Anya. I’m sure they could help us.” Willow looked puzzled.

“Why do we need to call them? I did this so I should just go after her.” Willow said. Tara smiled lightly.

“We’ll need help if we run into something.” Tara said

“Well who’s going to watch after Dawnie?” Willow asked.

“I’ll ask Anya to.” Tara said. She gave Willow’s shoulder a light squeeze before she left the room to dial the other scoobies. Willow walked over to the couch and sat down.
***

“Hello?”
“Hey Xander, this is Tara.”
“Oh, hey Tara. What’s up?” Xander said as he yawned. Tara blushed a little.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. But Buffy left a while ago, and we’re worried. We want to go after her. Willow’s worried sick.” Xander was suddenly wide awake.
“We’ll be over in five. Did you get Giles?” Tara nodded.
“Yeah. He’s on his way over.”
“Alright.” Both lines disconnected. Tara walked back into the living room. Willow was sitting on the couch clutching a pillow.
“Everyone’s one their way here. I’m going to get weapons ready.” Just as Tara turned to towards the weapons chest, Giles walked in through the foyer. Willow stood up from the couch.

“Hey Giles.” She said. Giles gave her a sympathetic smile.
“Willow, she will be fine.” He said softly. Willow chin trembled, but she nodded. Just then Xander and Anya burst in.

“How we doin’ on weapons?” Xander asked.
“Well I was just going through to see what we needed, but you can take what you want.” Tara said. Xander nodded and walked over to the chest beside Tara. Willow turned to Anya.

“Hey Anya? Do you think you could stay here and watch after Dawn?” She asked. Anya nodded.

“Yes. I’ll stay here and look after Dawn. But can I sleep?” She asked. Leave it to Anya to always stay the same, no matter what the situation……….Willow nodded her head.

“Uh Yeah. You can sleep in mine and Tara’s bed.”
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

“What cemetery do we start with?” Tara asked, as the scoobies walked down the street.
“Who else? Spike’s.” Xander said with distaste.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~++~+

Buffy ducked down just as Spike was about to kick her. Before he could do anything else, Buffy grabbed his other leg and pulled. Spike lost his balance and fell. Buffy stood. She lifted her foot to kick her but he caught it and threw it back. Buffy fell backwards. She quickly threw up her legs so she could flip back up. Just as she stood, Spike delivered a punch to the left side of her face. Buffy recovered quickly. She kicked Spike’s torso, sending him flying backwards. Buffy didn’t give him anytime to recover. She quickly advanced on him delivering yet another kick to a staggering Spike. He fell backwards and landed on his back. He smiled as Buffy ran to him. As she jumped towards him, Spike threw up his feet and flipped her over him. Buffy cried out as she landed. They both stood, staring darkly at the other, both waiting for the other to strike.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

“Oh God did you hear that?” Willow asked. “It was Buffy.” The group broke out into a run. The all ran towards the sounds they heard. Buffy was fighting. They collected that much. But they had no idea with what, or if she was even winning.

The whole group came to a sudden halt behind some bushes. About fifty feet in front of them, there Buffy was, fighting with Spike. Xander’s eyes were about to bug out of his head.
He started to move out of the bushes to Buffy’s aid when he felt a strong grip on his shoulder. Giles stood behind Xander, shaking his head, never taking his eyes off the duelers in front of him.

“Dear lord…..” Giles murmured. “They moved together with such precision, such accuracy. It’s almost as if they can predict the others’ next move….” Giles said with fixation. “In all my years…I’ve never seen her move like that.” He whispered to himself. In front of them, the battle raged on.

Spike was the first to strike. He moved towards her and began throwing punches at her. He threw a left at her Buffy blocked it. He threw a right, but Buffy blocked it. Their movements at the moment reminded Giles of a sword fight., only somehow, more deadly, and much, much faster were the movements.

“Dear God…and she’s still blind…..” Giles whispered.

Just as Spike threw another left punch, Buffy ducked, and she kicked him square in the chest. Spike’s duster wafted behind him as he flew backwards. He got up and brushed himself off, an almost insane chuckle escaped his lips. He stopped suddenly, and looked gravely at her.

“Now it’s time dance.” He said, as his human guise melted away. He crossed his arms and buried them in his duster. When he pulled them out, two swords materialized. The blades themselves were at least two and a half feet long.
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Xander’s eyes went impossibly wide, and he moved to Buffy’s aid once again. And once again was held back. He turned quickly, to find not Giles, but Willow with her hand on his shoulder. She was smiling unconsciously, transfixed with the battle.


“Willow! He’s going all Sumari Spike on her! I’ve got to help!” Xander said in a desperate whisper. Her eyes never looked away from Buffy and Spike. She shook her head, the transfixed smile still there on her lips.

“No. She can hold her own.”
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
Buffy heard the dagger swords clink together. Before Spike knew what happened, Buffy did a one eighty, and kicked own of the swords out of his hand. It flew up in the air, and Buffy caught it by the handle.

“Only if I get to dance too.” Spike looked extremely surprised. He had expected her to take one of them from him at one point, but not so soon. His shock wore off, and he smiled. He was glad she was blind, other wise she would have been able to see that he was actually proud of her for it.

Buffy was the one to make the first to move. With her sword raised, she charged at him. Spike was prepared for her. He held out his sword to block her on coming strike. Swords began to clink, and clank as they were tossed about with a lethal accuracy that looked graceful.

*It sorta looks like a sword fight out of the Musketeers movie* Tara thought, as she too was transfixed with the battle at hand.

Spike swung his sword at Buffy’s knocking it to the ground. Before Buffy knew what happened, Spike was behind her with his sword to her throat. Buffy looked non the least bit frightened. Buffy could feel his unneeded breath against her neck.

“I want you.” Spike whispered in her ear. Buffy could feel her entire body reacting to his words, and she knew that Spike knew his words were affecting her. She could hear him smirk. At that moment Buffy spun herself out of his grasp, and kicked his sword out of his hand. It flew up, and she caught it just like she had the first. Spike smirked again.

“You can use my sword.” She said smiling. “I seemed to have misplaced mine.” She stood poised, preparing for his strike. Spike looked around quickly and located the sword. It was behind her.
“Bugger…” He said under his breath. With a roar, Spike sprang forward, and ducked just below the Buffy’s swinging blade. He did a couple summersaults and stopped, kneeling on one knee. Spike grabbed the sword and stood. Buffy had long since turned around. She knew what he was going to do. When he hesitated to pick up the sword, she knew it was behind her. It was almost absurd to her, to not know Spike’s next move.

She felt him.
She sensed him.
She breathed him.
She smelt him.
She could taste him.
He was her equal.

If he had a beating heart, it would beat in her head. It was two minds fusing together. One hearing the others thoughts, one hearing the others battle screams, one hearing the others actions, tasting them, feeling them, knowing them, as if it were their own. And as Spike raised his sword, and she blocked it with her own, it was at that moment, that she realized he wasn’t holding back, nor had he been. She could taste his perspirations of effort on her lips, almost as if his skin was against them. They weren’t. It just loomed in the air, and hung above them, as did the lust and passion of the battle. It was intoxicating to Spike, and Buffy could smell it too. She just let go of herself, and let her primeval side take control. It was just as intoxicating to her as it was him.

Spike lashed out at Buffy once again. He raised his sword high over his head, and brought it brutally down against Buffy’s. Buffy’s sword was forced down as Spike moved towards her again. Not matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t raise it. Spike held her sword down with his.

“I can smell you, Slayer.” He said huskily in her ear. “I know you want me. I can taste it.” Out of nowhere, a fresh burst of adrenaline shot throw her veins. With a half scream she raised her sword. The force threw Spike backwards.

“I can taste you too.” She whispered. Buffy advanced on Spike. He smirked as he began blocking her sword pitches. Left, right, left, right…their feet began moving together too.
****

“Oh wow…..” Tara whispered. “It looks like there…. Dancing…” Giles studied them with a scrutiny.

“Yes….” Giles said, almost out of breath. “They are dancing. This is what a slayer does.” Giles said. “Slayers have no dark-side.” He realized. “It’s just…….Primeval.”

*Look at her* Giles thought to himself. *So lethally graceful. She completely let her self go in the battle. This is it! This is what she was missing! This is what she’s been deprived of* Giles thought as he continued to watch them battle. *This is what she’s been lacking. I can’t continue to coddle her. That’s what was killing her…….we got in her way. We tied her to this world, and she was unable to let go and be in the battle. Oh, dear god….* Giles thought sadly to himself. He was aggravated that he and the others held her back so. While Buffy was in battle she thought of her friends. That’s how Giles always believed that she was always able to pull through. But he realized, that this, and the exact way he had trained her, was what was holding her back, keeping her Buffy, and not the slayer.

He watched Buffy’s full potential continue to two-step with Spike on the battlefield. As he watched, he realized that what they were watching was not for them. It was the Slayer’s domain, and they were there. If she were to realize that he and the scoobies were there, she wouldn’t be at her full potential. She’d stop fighting like she enjoyed it. Giles could tell that she had enjoyed it. She’d hide the way she fought.

*We make her ashamed of being the slayer* He realized. All slayers had a lust for the battle, and so did Buffy. She proved that here. They needed that lust to stay alive. Only those who lost it would die. She couldn’t let them see that she actually enjoyed fighting, what would they think?

“C’mon. We need to go.”
“But-“
“Come on.” Giles said more sternly. “We need to go. She’s fine.” He pointed to the still dueling couple. “She’ll be back whenever she’s finished. With that, Giles rounded up the scoobies, and forced them away from the enticing battle.

~+~+~+~+~+~

The air around Buffy and Spike thickened. Buff was finding it hard to breath. Buffy maneuvered her sword left and right, with out having time to think, so she could block Spike’s movements. More adrenaline came to Buffy and she raised her sword high over her head, and swung at Spike’s sword. The force caused both of them to fly backwards. But instead off falling, both Buffy and Spike used the force to spin them back around so they would once again face one another. Both raised their swords. Buffy felt the cold metal of Spike’s sword on her throat once again. She smirked, because she too had her sword against Spike’s throat.

“Equally matched…” She whispered. Buffy dropped her sword, as did Spike. His vampric face molded back into his human guise. The air thickened even more around them, and things began moving in slow motion as the world around them disappeared. Both Buffy and Spike closed the distance in between them.

Spike looked down at Buffy. Her skin was extremely flushed, and she had a sheen of perspiration that covered her. Her flesh still hummed as her heated blood with it’s last bit of adrenaline rushed through her veins. He could hear her breathing as if it surrounded him. He moved a stray piece of sweat matted hair out of her face, and tucked it behind her ear.

“God….” He murmured. “You were beautiful.”
“When?” She asked, still partially out of breath.
“When you were dancing.” He answered her. “You move like an angel…” He whispered. Spike caressed her cheek with his hand. “I need you Buffy.” Buffy’s body reacted to his words once again, and she didn’t care if he knew it. Part of her, most of her, wanted him to know it.

“I need you too.” She answered breathlessly.
*************************

A/N: lol. Sorry about the mistake before, in posting the "short chappie" lol. I made this one nice and long to make up for it! What do you guys think of the chapter? Should I continue with the story?
What do you think?

Spike walked to her as she spilt the words, like a glass of milk being tipped over. Emotions, were being tipped over.

Buffy took up his lips with hers. The kiss was gentle, but hungry. Spike released her mouth and attacked her neck. Wet intense kisses were placed down Buffy's neck, and covered her collar bone. Buffy's hands entangled themselves in his platinum blonde curls, as his hands weaved around her waist and back. Spike began trying to undo the buttons on her shirt. They were unyielding.

“I just...I need this off.” He ripped her blouse in half, and threw the shreded pieces away.

A cool breeze washed over her enflamed skin. She wasn't sure if his cool kisses were heating, or cooling.

Spike quickly threw his shirt off and discarded it the way he had the shreddings of Buffy's shirt. Spike began lightly kissing at her neck once again. Buffy could feel his cool, unneeded breaths tickle and tease her skin.

“Take your shoes off.” Spike whispered. In an instant, Buffy's socks and tennis shoes were off, as were Spike's boots.

Spike took up Buffy's lips once again. Buffy hoisted herself onto Spike's waist as their tongues continued to battle it out. The sudden assult caused Spike to topple over, taking Buffy with him. Neither one of them realized they were suddenly in the grass.

Spike, with both hands, reached down between the couple laying on their sides, and began working at the button on Buffy's pants. It didn't take him long to realize that there was no button. They were the kind of pants that just zipped up.

When he found the zipper he unzipped her pants. Buffy turned on her back so he could take them off of her easier.

“Lift your hips up, luv.” Spike whispered. Soon the pants were off, and Buffy was left in her bra and underwear. Spike couldn't help but stop and stare. God......she was a vision. She was almost too perfect to be real...like a picture, something painted.

Spike ran his hand down her stomach and down the side of her leg. The pants Spike had on, felt suddenly binding. His skin itched and hummed for her. The material became to itchy and suffocating. He quickly stripped himself of his pants and discarded them.

Everything was happening so fast... flashes of passion and fiery....Bufy everything froze when he looked back on her. She laid there, her skin flushed, her body acheing. His eyes found hers..He saw the strangest thing in them... It looked like a hint of fear. She never said anything....She looked so meek, fragile..so vunerable laying there.

*oh god...where is he? Is he still here? Did he leave me here? Cold and naked? What an ironic place to leave me....a cemetery.*

All of Buffy's brazen strength and ability to see Spike faded into the unyielding black. She didn't want to move, or call to him, what if he was there? What if he could see that she was scared when she felt alone? She hated feeling vunerable, and for the gazillionth time, she wished she had her vision back.

“Buffy?” Spike called to her softly. She could hear him, despite the clouded fogs of black. Relief flooded over her, knowing he was still so close, and that he hadn't left her. More relief flooded over her when she realized, she hadn't let him know she was scared.

“Hmmm?” She answered.
“Are you alright?” Spike asked softly. A twinge of anxiety flooded through her. *Crap, crap, crap. There's no way he could know...*

The fear assauged when he said her name. He watched it go, and relief come. He wasn't sure if she knew it or not, but she was actually shivering. Was it that cold out there? He wouldn't know. Cold didn't bother him.

“Yeah.” She answered. Spike reached for his duster.
“Stand up.” He ordered gently. Buffy knit her brow, but stood. Once she was standing, Spike wrapped his duster around her and picked her up, and began walking towards the crypt. He left everything else there. Her tattered ripped shirt, her pants, socks, shoes....his pants, his shirt, his boots. Everything. The only thing he wanted to take.....was Buffy.

Buffy didn't need to ask where she was being carried, she already knew.

When they reached the crypt, Spike kicked the door open, and then kicked it shut behind them. He vaguely thought about how he was able to walk through the cemetery naked... But only for an instant.

Spike somehow managed to carry her down the the latter to the lower level of his crypt. He carried her over to the bed, and laid her down on it, still wrapped up in his duster. Buffy heard him walk around a bit, and then she heard the flickering of a lighter. She guessed he was lighting candles, because she couldn't hear him inhaling anything, so he couldn't have been smoking.

Spike only lit two candles before he went back to the bed. Buffy was sitting up, still wrapped in his duster.

The fear was no were to be seen in her eyes. Sitting up in the postion she was in, made her look like a linx.God, what a vixen she was, teasing him this way.

Spike walked in front of her, and began kissing her while getting up on the bed. He gently pushed her back. Spike, while kissing Buffy still, put his hand behind her head and gently guided it to the pillow.

Buffy felt chills amble up and down her spine, and travel in circles in her stomach at his act of pure tenderness.

Spike let up, and looked down at her....God she was wonderful. He wanted to see her.

Spike took the duster off to unveil her beauty. More chills from cool air carressed Buffy's heated skin.

She felt so hot. Like she was burning up from the inside... She needed Spike to touch her, feel her, run his hands over her body....anything, anything to get this burning sensation to stop. But she didn't have to tell him this. He already knew. She felt his weight shift and she felt his strong hands on either side of her head. This was the safest she'd ever felt. She was enclosed in him, and nothing could happen to her now. She was safe.

Spike's mouth moved to Buffy's neck. He kissed her right were the back of her jaw line met her neck. She loved when he kissed her there. He knew it too. He knew body....He knew her. Sometimes it drove her crazy how well he knew her. He knew where to kiss, knew where to caress, knew what to touch, what to taste, what to tease, where to lick......

“I *want* somthing from you...” Spike said in another provacotive whisper.
“Mmm. What do you want? To coddle me?” She made a little purr sound in her throat. ”To touch me? I'll let you this time.” She said in a sensual tone. She wanted him to hold her, touch her, feel her....coddle her body.....herself. Spike chuckled.
“No..”
“Then what do you want?” She asked, deffensivly. Spike licked his lips, a smirk lifting them.
“To dance with you.” He whispered. He wanted her energy back...he wanted to provoke her, prod her, push her to the edge.....and make her let go. Like she had in the cemetery. Like he knew she wanted. A fire blazed in her eyes, and her skin burned of a fiery lust.
“You want to dance?” Buffy asked provocativly. No longer was she whispering. Peace had already been disturbed. Buffy smirked.

Before Spike knew what happend, she had flipped them over. She was on him, and he was laying on his back. She looked down at him. Her eyes burned into his, so blindly intense.

“Only if I get to dance too.” She said. She could see him again...his face, his eyes, his lips. She swore she saw him lick his lips. She knew how to wipe that smirk off his face. With a smirk of her own, she swiveled her hips just a little. His erection rubbed agaisnt her leg. She heard him moan. Buffy felt wicked, and sinful.....she was loving it.

She did it again. She heard Spike moan again, and the grasp on her hips tightened. Buffy bent her knees and then slid back up.

“Oh god Buffy..” He moaned again. His voice was cracking, as he was trying to control himself. Buffy just smiled wickedly. She knew what she was doing to him. Buffy put her lips by his ear.

“Mmmm.” She mewled. ”I know you want me..” She whispered in a low, throaty voice, turning the tables on him. ”I can taste you.” She said, mirroring exactly what he said earlier. Buffy moved her mouth down by the base of his neck, and licked him up to his jaw line. He moaned at the white hot contact of her tongue on his neck.

She was torturing him. Spike knew it. This was enough. It takes two, to tango.

Spike made his actions quick. He grabbed her wrists with one hand, then used his other to take her underneath him.

Once she was on her back, Spike held her wrists with his one hand above her hand. Buffy struggled, but she couldn't get her hands loose. Maybe it was because she was only trying half heartidly..........

Spike smirked. His turn.

“Let me feel you...” He whispered. He put his hand flat on the right side of her torso. He slowly dragged it downward. His hand traveled over her breast. Buffy mewled as the palm of his hand passed over her nipple. His hand traveled over her bronzed stomach. And still, his hand went lower yet. Spike trailed a single finger down between her inner thighs. He was careful not to touch the places she needed to be touched the most.

“You feel good...” He whispered. Buffy mewled softly.
“I want to feel *you.*” Buffy tried again to free her hands, but he held them too tight above her head.

“Oh god...Spike-”
”Shh...” He put a finger over her lips and smirked evilly. “You said you wanted to dance...didn't you?” He said as his fingers found her clit. Buffy cried out as he began to stroke her. As his hand explored the sensitive nerves between Buffy's legs, he brought his lips to hers and kissed her deeply.

Buffy could feel her muscles tighten around his finger. Spike's mouth moved from her lips, and attacked her neck. The pressure inside of her finnally burst as an orgasm tore through her. She quavered and shook as she came. Spike watched her. She watched him.

Spike removed his hand from between her thighs, and put them in his mouth, tasteing her. Buffy's breathing became all the more labored when she felt him position himself above her. She could feel his strong hands at either side of her face.

Spike looked at Buffy, lying beneath him, flushed, sheened with persperation....god she looked so beautiful. Exactly like she had looked after they fought in the cemetery.

Again Buffy could feel herself aching for him. She wanted him inside her. Nothing more. She could see him...but only him. It was strange. She knew she didn't rightfully have her vision back....but god..her vision of him was clear.

Her vague thoughts were tore through as he slipped inside her. Spike watched as her face twisted and contorted in pleasure as he began slowly moving inside of her. It was all he could do, not to thrust harder, much faster...but he didn't want to bruise her, or hurt her. All he wanted was to love her.

Buffy's hands moved eratically above her head, trying to grasp something, anything, to stablize herself. Her neck arched, and her head slowly moved this way and that.

“Hold on to me.” Spike suggested, as she continued to blindly search for something to grab onto. Buffy stopped, and looked up at him. She could almost see what he doing....she could almost see his eyes....Oh god..those eyes..If she could really look into them...all of her would be stabilized.

“Hold onto me.” He said to her again. Spike lightly kissed her on the lips..the contact was so light..it was barely there. Spike thrust into her.

“Oh god....” Buffy mewled loudly. Her hands involuntarily grasped him. She clung to him, as though he were her only life support, her only sight, her only sound..her only breath. But how could she find breath in the unliving? Something had to be alive in him. Something inside of him had to be breathing...

At the same time, how could he find sight...vision.. in the blind? She couldn't see him. Not even with her eyes open, seeing clearly, working properly.. He'd turned her around, pointed it out to her. But some vision had to be in her...she had to have seen him...And she did. Right now, he was all she could see. An image of him burned into her, watching her in her own head, surrounded by black.

Spike continued to thrust into her. For a while it was all she could do, but lie there, and feel him inside her. But that quickly grew old, and she grew restless. She began moving more, moving into his thrusts, finding, and founding a rythem...a song...something tuned to thier dance. Spike moved faster as he felt that his control was slipping away. He grasped for it...but it was now out of his reach, and now he just reached to her. The one, laying, and writhing beneath him.

Buffy, the Slayer of all things dead and evil..the untouchable, unattainable to all things with evil within their very being. Try after try, swipe after swipe, they tried to get her, lay their hands on her, take her, but they couldn't take her, she'd kill them in a match. But here he was, thought of as evil. Dancing with her, still alive. No evil could take her, but her she was, beneath him, taken.

Buffy moaned, and mewled as Spike thrust into her, the presure inside them both building. Thrust after thrust he made into her, she responded without missing a beat, thrusting into him. Meeting him halfway.
That seered image of him surrounded in black, became more clear with each of their thrusts. More things surrounded him. Like the dim light of the candles that she heard him light. Spike thrust into her again. The black began to fade away, and be replaced by true vision. The vision she had lost in the vampire attack some days ago....Just as she was able to see everything, Spike thrust into her, hard, and she met him, one last time. Buffy closed her eyes tight as she came. An orgasm rippled through her body, causing her to tremor, and shake.
“Equally matched...” She said, finnally letting her hips fall back to the bed.
***************
A/N: I don't know...something is just off about this chapter...what do you guys think it is? I can't put my finger on it..what should've been changed? So many things took place in this chapter..I just don't think I delivered them properly..sorry!

Buffy laid there, beneath him, her breath now slowing, and her eyes still closed. She didn't want to open them. What if she was still blind? Maybe it was best not to know.....or for him to know. She had thought she was hiding something from him. But she wasn't.
Spike felt a tear run down his cheek. He knew she had her vision back. Her blind eyes were filled with so much emotion....But the look she got when her vision came back, and he was the first thing she saw.........It seemed like he went far away, and was gone for years, and thought dead. But then one day he came back...and she rushed at him with open arms. That's the look she had. Relief, the utmost trust.....and love.
Spike kissed her on the forehead, and caressed her cheek with his hand.
"What do you see baby?" He said softly. Buffy didn't answer. ”Go on..” He coaxed. ”Tell me luv. What did you see?” She considered his question, and then answered him honestly.
"I saw you." She said. Spike opened his mouth to say something, but she continued.
"And that was it. There was you, and the blackness that surrounded you. But nothing else." Spike smiled.
"I don't think you really saw m-"
"Shh..” She put two fingers lightly over his lips. “I did." She opened her eyes to look at him. Spike felt his eyes well up again. She had that same look in them. When Buffy spoke, her voice was shaky with emotion. She was no longer blind.
"And then? Once I was able to see you, the rest of the world came back." She replied, without really realizing what she said.
Spike got off of her and propped himself up on some pillows. It didn't matter what she said. It wasn't what she meant. Any moment now, she'd realize what she had just done, and she'll scamper off, telling him how convenient he was. God he hated that.
Buffy sat up with him, and gently with her hands, turned Spike's head to face her.
“What ar-”
“Shh...” She sniffled. ”I haven't seen you for so long.....I just want to see you.” She whispered. Spike, too dumbfounded to protest right away, just let her stare. Buffy felt desperate. Even though she hadn't been without him, she hadn't actually seen him in quite a while and that took it's toll on her as much as she hated to admit it. She just wanted to relish in the fact that she could see him again. That's all that mattered at that moment to her.
Buffy studied him...his eyes... his nose, his lips, his prominet, wonderful cheek bones...He was a true vision. Something she never wanted to forget. *Whoa Buffy....* She though inwardly
They studied him for as long as she could, before the coldness of the crypt finally got to her. She shivered slightly. Buffy kissed Spike's lips lightly.Without speaking, she wrapped herself up in a sheet and got off the bed.
*There she goes.* Spike thought inwardly. He felt his stomach churn. He watched her walk over to the latter. She knelt down in front of a chest, and opened it. Buffy pulled out of it one of Spike's black button up shirts. Not caring whether he saw her or not, Buffy stood and let the sheet drop, and replaced it with the shirt. Spike watched her button up his shirt, and wondered how she'd explain to her friends why she had nothing else on. She'd probably tell them that a demon ripped them off of her...in her opinion, he supposed that wasn't lying...Spike felt his stomach churn again.
Once the shirt buttoned all the way she turned around and faced him. God, she was so beautiful. The shirt was big on her. It amply covered her. Nothing but her legs were showing. Her hair was tousled, and it hung over her shoulders.
"I..I need to go home. I want to at least be able to sneak in so they won't be able to see me like this." She finally said. She looked down at herself. "I don't have much on."
Spike looked defeated. But he expected her to go.
"Yeah. I figured." He said quietly. Not catching his tone, Buffy smirked and walked over to the bed. Spike didn't expect what she did next.
Buffy crawled up on the bed and straddled him. She kissed his lips gently, and then moved her mouth by his ear.
"Thanks, for the dance." She said provocatively. "Tonight. Patrol with me." She kissed his neck and without looking at him, crawled off and headed towards the latter. Spike smirked. *She left me with something this time...* He mused looking down. But his thoughts were swept away when he saw her take the first step up the latter.
Without a sound, Spike jumped off the bed and grabbed her by the arm. Buffy jumped a little, not expecting him to chase after her. She recovered quickly. Buffy knew what she had just done to him.
Spike took her hand and made her step off the latter.
"You can't leave me like this." He moved her hand to his erected groin. He had a sheet covering his waist, but a sheet is only so thin. Buffy smiled, a wicked look struck her eyes. Spike felt himself grow impossibly harder.
"I can. You'll just have to wait." She whispered. She turned to walk away. Spike grabbed her hand again.
"Oh no." He said. He pulled her to him. He had one hand wrapped around her waist, and the other? The other hand was moving slowly up the inside of her thigh. "I don't think you want to wait." Spike said huskily. He could smell her want for him. His hand found her clit. She gasped as he stroked her.
"Oooh..." She moaned quietly.
"Are you sure..." Spike began moving a little faster. Buffy whimpered. "...that you want to wait?" He asked.
Buffy's body reacted strongly to Spike's change of speed. Her gripped tightened on Spike's fore arms just as her knee's buckled. Spike grinned down at her.
“Spike..” Buffy hissed a little. “I...” Spike was makeing it very difficult for her motor functions to work properly. Spike added a little pressure and she almost forgot what she was trying to tell him.
“Spike..I...I....I have ta....ta go. She somehow managed to say. Spike stopped what he was doing, and to Buffy's frusteration, she was slightly dissapointed.
“I have to go.” She said panting. Spike picked her up by her waist with one arm.
“I'll be there at sundown.”
*******************
Buffy figured it was about 2:30, 3 in the morning. When she left, she had just stormed out on Tara, Will and Dawnie. Hopefully they weren't up waiting for her...that wouldn't be of the good.
A warm breeze rustled the trees. Buffy tried pulled the fabric of Spike's shirt tighter around her body. She didn't want the shirt to blow the wrong way....that wouldn't be of the good either.
Buffy walked a few feet more before she spotted the remains of his and her clothes. Buffy smiled, and was surprised she wasn't rueful. She usually was.
Buffy picked up her shredded undergarments, and her blouse, which was now buttonless. The only thing that was still wearable were her pants. Buffy slipped them on. She figured, if the gang was still up waiting for her, then it'd probably look better if she had pants on.
When Buffy reached her drive, the house was dark. Relief washed over Buffy. Now all she had to handle was getting into the house, and up the stairs without wakeing anyone.
*********************

A/N: sorry it took so long guys!! I know i promised sooner...shame on me, i know. Hopefully you guys are still readin this story. About the chappie...do you like?

chapter ten: The Game of



When Buffy got to her room, she looked at the clock, and realized she had been wrong about the time. Insted of her guessed time of around 2:30 a.m, it was more like 5:30 a.m. 5:37 a.m to be exact. Buffy shook her head and threw her torn garments in a corner and laid down on her bed. In about thirty minutes, Willow would be getting up to get ready for her college classes. Not that Willow would have really noticed Buffy's absence. But if Buffy had walked in while Willow was up, and in Spike's shirt... No, that would definatly not be of the good. It would have been of the very bad, actually.

Buffy found her thoughts drifting towards tonight. The sun hadn't even dawned to make it officially a day, and she was already thinking of when it would go down again. Hmm. Sounded like someone she knew. Tonight might have been a little more dificult to get out of the house. After her little outburst and absence, Dawn, Tara and Willow wouldn't just let her leave again to patrol. And Giles...he'll probably want to check up on Buffy's eye sight. She figured so anyways. It had been a little while since he had bothered her about it. Just when she thought she was getting a break, he'd come and assess things.

Buffy wondered how she was going to be able to get away from everyone tonight to see Spike.

“Wow.” Buffy sat up. “See Spike?” Buffy shook her head at the absurd thought and laid back down. Sleeping was the only way to pass the time effectivly. So, that's what she'd do. Sleep as much as humanly possible, and then sooner then later, the night would come.
*********

It was a Friday afternoon, and Buffy was still asleep. Her body worked through her slumber, replenishing all she had lost. When she woke, she'd be at full strength. She'd be ready, and very able to do battle.


“Buffy's home then?” Tara asked Willow. Willow shook her head.

“Yeah. She's in her room. I checked to see if she was home when I got up. She was in her beddy-by, fast asleep.” Willow said. Tara smiled.

“Wasn't last night amazing? That sparr last night between Spike and Buffy...it did'nt seem like a regular sparr.” Tara said. “It was more like a...a-”

“Dance?” Willow asked. “Yeah. I know. Buffy really looked like she enjoyed herself. I don't blame her.” Willow said, looking disturbed. “I mean, it's all part of the whole, slayer nature.” Willow said. Tara scrunched her brow.

“You think it's wierd huh?” Willow swiped her hands in front of her.
“Totally oogie.” She said without missing a beat. “How did your classes go today?” She asked Tara, changing the subject. Tara looked up and smiled.

“They went pretty good actually.” Willow looked at her watch.

“Buffy's been sleeping a long time.” She commented. Tara nodded.

“Yeah. But she probably needs it.” Tara said. Willow's eyes went wide.

“You don't think she'd-”

“I don't know if she'd-hey don't we have homework to do?” Tara said. Willow looked confused.

“What? That's not what we were-Hi Buffy!” Willow said. Buffy furrowed her brow.

“Hi. What are you hiding?”

“H-hiding? N-no. We-we just have homework.” Tara grabbed Willow's arm and drug her upstairs before Buffy could say another thing. Buffy followed them with her eyes until they disappeared up the stairs.

“Wierd, wierd friends I have.” Buffy said groggily. She walked over to the fridge and found a bottle of juice. She fidgetted with it for a while, having trouble opening it up. Frusterated, she bared down on the bottle still trying in vain to open it, when the bottle shattered, and spurt snapple-y goodness all over her face. Buffy stood there for a while, acknowledging that even slayers sometimes lack their grace. She was about to grab a rag and clean up her juice, when the telephone rang.

“Oooh....crap...” Buffy tiptoed over the glass and grabbed the phone.

“Hello?”

“Ah, yes Buffy. Your finnally awake.” Giles said, trying to sound nochalant about her waking hour.

“Giles, I hope you have a good explanation for calling me at....5:30 in the after-noon.” Buffy sighed.

“It seems I haven't er, collected your status yet. I was hoping that tonight I'd-”

“My blindy eyes aren't blind anymore. I'm full-vision gal as of last night.” Buffy said.

“Really? That's quite astounding. What happend?” Giles said. Buffy suddenly frowned.

“Well....nothing. I was just walking through the cemetry, and bam! It just sorta...pounded itself in me” Buffy said.

“I see.” Giles took off his glasses, suddenly getting foul imagery in his mind. She wasn't telling all. He already knew the truth. It happend sometime after, or during the part of the sparr between her and Spike, Giles hadn't seen. He was almost positive that what she said hadn't been a sexual gest.

“Well, I would still like to pa-”

“Giles do we need to go over what your part is in this? I'm the slayer. I slay. Your the watcher, you-”

“Watch?” Buffy sighed in defeat

“You know what I mean.” She stated.

“Alright. If you don't want me patroling with you, then I'm comming over right now to at least run a few sight tests on you. Just to make sure your at your best.” Giles said. Buffy sighed. She knew she was at her best. “I'll be over shortly.” He said. Both lines disconnected.

Buffy walked back into the kitchen and finished cleaning up her juice, and then ran back upstairs to change---She was still wearing Spike's shirt.

*****************************

“And this one?” Giles asked, taking yet another step back. Buffy sat on her couch, arms crossed, slouching. She clearly looked bored and aggitated.

“It's an upside down capitol E.” She answered. Giles took a step back and nodded his head.

“Yes. Alright. Read the whole thing to me.” He said.

“T, E, X, 1, 5, R, backwards E, upside down T, little z, little j, little i, U, P, N, sideways F, sideways little x, This poster has been copy righted in the yea-” Giles held his hand up.

“Alright, alright. I'm finished. You passed.” He sat down and looked at the bottom of the chart at the copy right information. His eyes squinted, but he couldn't make out the words. ”Who could you possibly...” He trailed off. “Does your head hurt?” He asked. Buffy shook her head.

“Well alright. It seems that your...perfectly fine.” Giles said. “Have you any tea? Difibulators?” Buffy scrunched her brow.

“Difublawho's?” Buffy stood. “I can't pronounce it, I'm sure we don't have it. Besides, not much work was done on your half. I was the one-”

“Beating me with a stick.” Giles said firmly. Buffy's head dropped.

“Well, you were the one who wanted to test my eye-sight...Wasn't my fault I knew where you were even with a blind fold....” Buffy mumbled as she made her way to the kitchen.

Once the kettle whistled, she took it off the stove and poured Giles a cup with a tea bag. She then walked back into the living room and handed it to him. He took it from her, and stared at it for a while.

“What in the bleedin'-”

“Stay British.” Buffy said. “It's American. Just let it bob around the cup until the tea turns...brown.” She turned to ready herself for patrol. When she got back downstairs in her usual 'slayer attire' Giles had already gone. The empty tea cup he drank from was on the coffee table. On a napkin, he wrote

'Thanks for the tea. Good luck tonight on patrol.' Buffy smiled and took the tea cup and napkin to the kitchen.

“Hey, wait. Where's the tea bag?”
*******

By the time Buffy rounded up her stakes and a cross, night had fallen over Sunnydale. She walked to the base of the stairs.

“Dawnie?” She yelled. A door could be heard opening.

“Yeah?”

“I'm leaving. Tell Tara and Willow where I went if they ask. I don't know when I'll be back. Do your homework and don't wait up!” Buffy turned and opened the front door.

“Buffy wait!” Dawn came running down the stairs. Buffy stopped and looked at her sister. “I was wondering if I could have Kit over? With it being Friday and all I thought-”

“That's fine. Umm..there's some popcorn in the pantry, and I think we might have some pop in the basement if you like.” Buffy suggested. “Pizzas' in the freezer.” She said on her way out.
************

“God where is that Slayer?” Spike asked himself, pacing around his crypt. He had vowed that he would not go after her, that if she wanted to see him than she could come to him. Spike's new little vow was killing him. He was never much for keeping his vows, or promises.

Spike grabbed his duster and walked out of the crypt.

***********

“Slayer...” Buffy turned. A newbie vampire stood in her midst, teeth bared and ready for battle. Buffy fully turned her body and put her hands on her hips.

“Vampire....” She mocked the vampire. “See how you like it?” Not giving the vampire anytime to do anything, she advanced, kicking the vampire foe dead in the chest. The vampire flew backwards landed on

“Giles? What the hell are you doing here?” Buffy asked. Ignoring her question, Giles threw the vampire off himself and stood.

“I am your watcher, and I'm here, whiether you like it or not, tot take status on your slaying.” Giles said. Buffy rolled her eyes and dodged a kick from the vampire.

“Giles, this is ridiculous. I don't need help I'm-” Buffy punched the foe in the face. “Fine. See?” She held up her hand. ”He feels pain.” Giles didn't say anything. He just stood by and watched as she fought with the vampire. She wasn't having any trouble, and only prolonged his life for her pleasure.

Buffy was doing a wonderful job. Completely had the upper hand throughout the whole thing. But Giles wasn't convinced she was doing her best. Sure, she could determine what the vamp's next moves were going to be, but she didn't *know* what they'd be. He couldn't sense the fire, the passion, dare he think it, lust for the battle like she had the night before with Spike.
Giles was pulled out of his thougths when the vampire exploded into dust. He took off his glasses and cleaned them.

“Yes, well it seems your doing quite alright. Well, I'll be going then. I'll see you tomorrow.” Giles said. He gave her a smile and walked off. Buffy watched his retreating form until she couldn't see him anymore.

The battle she just had with the now pile of dust left her empty. It didn't fufill her in any way, not even knowing that she just killed something that would have killed someone. Doubtful, but still...

“Still playing by the rules. Tsk Tsk Slayer.” Spike walked out of the shadows. Buffy turned.

“What? No. I don't fight by..rules.” She said. “I won didn't I? I mean, what more do you want?” Buffy shrugged. Spike nodded a couple times and walked behind her. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he leaned in by her ear.

“Yeah. You did win. But how do you feel now Buffy? Fighting in a cage?” He whispered huskily in her ear. The way he said her name made her shiver.

“Do you feel fufilled?” Spike gently moved all of her hair to one side and kissed her neck.

“I-I don't....” Buffy trailed off, her voice a little breathy. Spike smiled.

“Hmm. I can fix that.” Spike began placing wet kisses up and down her neck. Buffy's breathing quickend.

“N-no.” Buffy could barely speak as Spike found her clit. “I-ah-I c-c-an't. N-n-not here..” She breathed. Spike laughed.

“Lover..” He kissed her neck. “We could do it anywhere I choose, anytime I choose.” He whispered in her ear. His vanity pissed her off, and she spun around.

“That so is *not* true!” She yelled angrily. In a flash he was on her again. His hands found her clit once again, each and every stroke now different. Buffy felt her knees buckle completely from beneath her. Spike held her up by her waist, still stroking. He looked down at her. She already had flushed cheeks and very labored breathing.

“Oh yeah?” He said provacativly. She opened her eyes. “Stop. Me.” He told her. Buffy shook a little.

“I-I-aah-I can't..” She breathily whispered. Spike continued to look down at her, never ceasing his minstritions.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked. Every single time he touched her, it was in a different angle with slightly different pressure. It was driving her crazy. Whatever it was he was doing, it was killing her. She knew she had no control. She was at his knees.

Spike stopped stroking her. Buffy whimpered out of dissapointment, and somewhat pain. He helped her stand on her own feet.

“Let's play a game.” He said to her. Buffy's breathing was still labored.

“Wh-what game would that be?” She asked, trying to smooth her hair. He smiled at her futile attempts.

He clasped her fingers with his and bended them back slightly. Buffy rolled her eyes.

“That's just that stupid game where you clasp fingers and whoever-”

“Gives in first, loses?” Spike finished for her. ”Yeah. That's the game, only I'm putting my own little twist to it. Would you like to play?” His eyes gleamed a menacing glow.
***************************************************************************


A/N: I'm very, very sorry for that long wait....But reviews are the very things that pull us authors through. Anyways, working on the 8th chapter to Virginity. Should be up soon, so check for it!

Dear Readers,

I know that it was been forever since I've updated this particular story on this site. I just wanted to let you all know that I have moved to a different site, where I have rewritten, and revised this story for the better. If you wish to continue following this story, go to www.spuffyonline.com I have changed the story's name to "Boys Are A Scary Thing" and my penn name is James. (However, I'm still a girl) For those of you who took the time to review, thank you very much for your support, and I hope to see you on the new site. If you choose not to follow this story anymore, it's been fun, and I appreciate you all the same! : )
Kisses and Hugs,
Jaime

P.S If you do decide to follow it up, when the front page is pulled up, click on the "Buffy and Spike Central" banner.