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A/N: The song lyrics at the beginning of the chapter are from the movie Cry Baby


CHAPTER 1: Taking Charge



Please Mr. Jailer
Won’t you let my man go free
He don’t belong in prison
But is guilty as can be
But the only crime he’s guilty of is
Simply loving me.



“Ms. Summers! Over here!”


Buffy turned to face the middle-age, British man approaching her. He had a warm smile and his hand was extended to shake hers in welcome. She returned the smile, and, struggling with the box she was holding, managed to take the offered hand.


“It is so nice to finally get to meet you. I heard great things about you Ms. Summers. It really is an honor…”


Buffy smiled wider at how flustered the man was getting. “Nice to meet you… uh…?”


“Oh, pardon my rudeness. I’m Rupert Giles. But please call me Giles. That’s what everybody calls me around here. I’m the head of security.”


“Well it’s really nice to meet you Giles. I’m sure we’ll have a good time working together. And please, don’t let my looks fool you. I might look twenty, but I’m actually forty five. I have a good plastic surgeon.” She tried to joke goodheartedly.


Giles laughed. “Do people give you a hard time regarding your age?”


“Well, lets put it this way. A twenty-six year old, five feet two, very petite blonde, doesn’t exactly strike fear in people’s hearts. But you’d be surprised. I actually started working at the L.A. county prison part-time at the age of 17. It was my mother’s idea. She thought working in prison would put the fear of God in her rebellious teenage daughter and keep her out of trouble. I had a bad habit of getting myself into fights and other minor stuff like smoking pot and shoplifting bras.”


Giles chuckled at that. He took the box she was holding and they started walking towards her new office.


“So anyway. I started working there part-time, and it did more than put me back on the right track; it gave me a career. I got my masters degree in criminology and was so passionate by it that I graduated first of my class. So yeah, twenty-six is young for a prison warden, but I’ve been doing this for almost ten years. I guess it counts. Plus--to be quite honest with you Giles--nobody wanted this position.”


“Hum.. Yes. I can’t say that I am surprised to hear this.” Giles said, taking a seat in the big comfy leather chair facing Buffy.


She leaned forward, her forearms resting on her luxurious mahogany desk. She was really curious to find out why such a prestigious position had been left wide open for so long. Not that the answer would make her change her mind about taking the position. She was just a very curious girl. Always had been. “And why is this?”


“Nothing you should worry yourself with. I am sure you will do just fine here Ms. Summers.”


“First, please call me Buffy when we’re not around the prisoners. And don’t worry, you won’t scare me away. I’m just curious as to why exactly nobody wanted to be assigned to Sunnydale. It seems to be a nice, quiet little town.”


“Really, it’s just a string of bad events related to the wardens that worked here at one point or another. One was corrupted, the other one uh… hung himself. And two also, well… they got killed. Not in this office.” He added quickly, not wanting to spook the young woman. “There is always a lot of action in this prison. Bad bloods, if I may say so. But I have a good feeling about you, Buffy. I think you’ll do a great job here. And I will help you the best I can. I’ve been hoping to see things change around here for a long time.”


“They will. I’ll make sure of that.” Buffy smiled.


Giles got up. “I better go back to work. If you need anything at all, you can call me and I’ll be there. When are you starting work?”


“First thing tomorrow morning. I’ll make my little speech after breakfast in the cafeteria.”


“Alright then. I’ll make sure everybody is there.”


She watched as Giles exited her office.


**Well, that will be at least one ally in the place.** she thought sourly, remembering the way the security guards at the main entrance had snickered when she introduced herself earlier.


Making a reputation for herself would be hard. She knew she’d not only have to break in the prisoners, but her employees as well. The next day, and the following weeks, would be crucial. She could show no weakness, or it would be the end. Her plan was to be hard on them at first so they would know who they were dealing with and that she wouldn’t take any bullshit from them, then soften up a bit later on. After ten years working in jail, you have no choice but to understand a few things about psychology.


Buffy gathered a few piles of papers and files that were scattered all over her desk, and settled down on the leather couch by the window. She wanted to look through the files of some of the disruptive convicts that were pointed out to her. She didn't want any surprises and preferred to be well prepared.


After hours of going through page after page of typical prison bad behavior, she decided that she’d better go home, practice what she would say the next day, and try to catch some sleep.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Standing by the big window in her office the next morning, the blonde woman looked down at herself for what felt like the thousandth time in the past hour.


**This is completely wrong** she thought once more while looking at the outfit she had chosen in a moment of pure panic, mere moments before she had to leave the house. She pulled at her light green silk shirt, then straightened it. She did the two first buttons, then undid them again. Flattened an imaginary wrinkle on her dark gray jacket, and finally let out a frustrated sigh. Alright, she could at least admit it to herself: she was nervous. Fidgeting with her clothes was usually a good sign of it.


“Geez girl, get a grip!” she said out loud to herself.


“Am I interrupting something?”


Startled, Buffy turned to face the new comer. “Oh, Giles! Good morning. Please come in. You were only interrupting an insecurity crisis. Nothing important.” She tried to laugh, but it sounded a little fake.


Giles took a look at the beautiful young woman standing by the window. She had done her long blonde hair up in a severe twist and was wearing black framed glasses, but it did nothing to hide her sensuality and natural beauty. She was simply stunning. He briefly wondered why would such a vibrant young woman want to work in a prison.


“You certainly look good for someone who is going to give a speech to convicts Buffy…”


“See! I knew it! It’s too sexy isn’t it? Not enough ‘I’m the boss here; I’m gonna kick your ass if you don’t respect me’. I should have gone for the turtleneck instead of that stupid shirt. If I hadn’t left the house in such a hurry… Or.. or just jeans and some good old solid boots. Stilettos!? What was I thinking? I’ll postpone the…”


“Buffy! Please, stop. That’s not what I meant. What you’re wearing is perfect. Besides, we both know you would get the same reaction no matter what you’re wearing.”


“Yeah. Cheers, laughs and crude remarks. I’m expecting that, don’t worry.”


They were interrupted by the crackling sound of Giles’ two-way radio.


“Excuse me for a moment would you.”


“Of course.”


He answered the call.


“Giles here. Over.”


“Giles, we have a problem in the cafeteria. A fight got out of control. We need you here as soon as possible. Over.”


“I’m on my way. Over.”


He turned to Buffy who was waiting for an explanation. “What’s going on?”


“There seems to be a bit of trouble in the cafeteria. I’ll go check on it.”


“I’ll come with you.”


“No… stay here. It’s our job to get in the middle of these fights. I’ll contact you if it gets too out of control, and let you know if anybody was injured.”


“Fine. And bring whoever is responsible for starting that riot straight to my office. I’m sensing my first act of discipline coming on. I’m going to make a big show out of it; set an example.”


Giles nodded and rushed out of the office.


Buffy paced her office for almost an hour waiting for Giles to come back with the troublemakers. She was starting to have a bad feeling about taking this job. Maybe it was doomed. Rule number one: never accept what nobody else wants. But no. She had to be stubborn and take the damn job even if she knew that something was fishy.


**Yep, that’s me alright… always a sucker for a good challenge**


She shook her head; she was getting increasingly bitter and that was not like her. This was supposed to be her dream job. She wasn’t supposed to get discouraged after only a few hours. And besides, even if it had been a bad idea to accept the job, it couldn’t be all bad… something good had to come out of it eventually…


Someone knocked at the door.


“Come in.”


Giles walked in. “The situation is under control. Everybody is back in their cells. The guy who started the fight is at the infirmary being treated for his injuries. He isn’t in good shape, but he’ll live.”


“What’s the name?”


“Parker. Parker Abrams.”


“What about the other guy? He wasn’t fighting alone, was he?”


“One of the guards is waiting with him outside. But really, Buffy, it’s a waste of time.”


She went to lean on her desk and crossed her arms protectively over her chest. “And why’s that exactly? I assure you, Giles, that I’m perfectly capable of scaring a con if I want to.”


“I’m sure you can, Buffy, but this one is special. William Rayne. You won’t get anything out of him. He isn’t the easiest bloke to talk to. And any punishment you will throw at him he will actually enjoy. Send him to the hole for a week, he’ll see it as a vacation. Make him reorganize the entire library, he’ll be happy like a little boy on Christmas morning. Everything is fine by him as long as he’s far away from the other guys. I just thought I’d warn you because nobody has successfully punished him since he’s been here.”


“Giles. Just bring him in would you? I think I can manage on my own.” She didn’t mean to snap at him, but she was getting annoyed. One of the touchiest topics for Buffy Summers had always been her competence. She was quite capable of doing her job, and didn’t like people to question it. Even when they were just trying to help.


“All right then. If you… wish to waste your time.” Giles said stiffly before walking out. He came back with another guard and the prisoner who had his hands handcuffed in front of him.


He was a bit shorter than the two men escorting him but he still somehow seemed imposing. Maybe the way he walked, or the way he stood. But Buffy couldn’t see his face--his eyes never left the ground. All she could see was the top of his bleached blonde head.


She motioned for the guards to make him sit in the leather chair, then waited for them to leave the room. When she realized that they intended to stay there, she finally opened her mouth.


“Mr. Rayne and I have to talk… in private please.”


Giles didn’t seem to approve, but he followed the other guard anyway. “We’ll be right outside the door if you need us Ms. Summers.”


“Thank you Giles. But I’m sure it won’t be necessary.”


She waited until he shut the door, then moved from the spot where she was standing to sit on the desk in front of William. He was still looking down. A few strands of bleached hair were falling in front of his face, hiding him further from her. She could see some dried blood in it. But except for that, he seemed fine. So she crossed her arms over her chest and decided to wait in silence for a little while, to see if he’d eventually look up.


His eyes moved slowly. They lingered on the sexy shoes for a while before moving up to admire the long, slim legs covered in tailored gray pants. His curiosity got the best of him and he peeked through the hair that was hiding his eyes.


What he saw was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.


What Buffy saw was the most beautiful man she had ever seen.


They both remained silent, but this time, it was in shock.


After fighting to regain control of her breathing, and make sure that her voice wouldn’t sound too squeaky, Buffy finally spoke.


“So, William, I…”


“It’s Spike, pet. William died the day he was falsely accused of something he didn’t do.”


“… Oh.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2: What are bestfriends for?


A/N: I'm having so much fun writing this story, I hope you guys have just as much fun reading it. If you do enjoy it, let me know. What? I'm a very insecure girl... I need reassurance lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: The text in bold is Buffy's fantasy


CHAPTER 2: What are bestfriends for?


Late afternoon, Buffy unlocked the front door of her new house with a heavy sigh. She was tired, and glad to finally be home. It was a really nice house. Just big enough for her. All on one level, with lots of open space and windows everywhere. But the main attraction was the backyard with its gigantic pool. She loved pools and had never had one before. Buffy was renting the house from her friend Xander for almost nothing. When he found out that she was moving to Sunnydale, he offered it to her right away. Xander owned an L.A. based construction company, but as a sideline, he liked to buy houses and rent them. He had quite a few across California and it was making him a rich man. Rich enough, at least, to give his childhood friend a really good deal. She wasn’t gonna complain about it.


She dropped her keys on the small table by the door and abandoned her briefcase as well. She wasn’t in the mood to look through paperwork tonight. She unbuttoned her silk shirt, leaving it hanging open on either side of her body, and made her way to the kitchen. She needed a drink badly. She toed off her mint green sexy stilettos on the way there, leaving them in the middle of the place. Yes, she was messy, she knew it, and she didn’t care.


Buffy took a look around the kitchen, still a little overwhelmed by how luxurious it was, with the shiny black granite counter tops, mahogany cupboards with glass doors, slate floor. And the sink was so big that she could probably take a bath in it. She went to the wine rack and picked a bottle of red wine. As she was pouring herself a glass, the phone rang. She took her glass with her and went to pick up the cordless.


“Hey Cordy.” She said in the receiver after taking a look at the caller display. She took a magazine from the pile on the kitchen table and went to sit outside by the pool to enjoy the sunset.


“So? How was your first day as the brand new tormenter of Sunnydale prison residents?” Her friend Cordelia Chase asked, every bit her usual enthusiastic self.


“It was… bizarre, to say the least.”


“It was bizarre? I’m afraid you’ll have to explain further girlfriend cuz good old Cord isn’t getting it. What do you mean, bizarre?”


“I don’t know, just a weird day. I didn’t even do my speech for one thing.”


“Aww! What happened? And it was such a good speech too! Worthy of the award for Monologue of the year. What a loss.”


“You’re a riot, Chase; did anybody ever tell you that?”


“You know I love ya. I’m just teasing. Go on. What happened?”


“I was just about to go to the cafeteria to introduce myself to the prisoners when there was a huge fight. You know my luck, right? I don’t even know why I’m surprised.” Buffy rolled her eyes and took a sip of her wine. The lights in the pool came on automatically as the sky got darker and Buffy got up to go sit with her feet in the water.


“Ok, so--yeah, there was a fight.” Cordelia commented matter-of-factly. “Big freaking deal: it’s a prison. So, what else?”


“Yeah…” Buffy trailed, not sure she really wanted to share the rest of the story. “You know… nothing interesting. I just talked to that guy who was involved in the fight… he hadn’t started it, he got attacked by another convict. Anyway, I talked to him and…”


“And he was really sexy and horny, so you pushed him on top of your desk and had hot sweaty decadent sex with him. Wow, how convenient: the handcuffs were already on him!”


Buffy’s eyes widened in horror. “Cordelia Chase! You are such--a whore! Who do you think I am? I would never have sex with a con or even THINK of having sex with a con… I have higher expectations, I’ll have you know.”


“Says the girl whose last boyfriend, Ford, pretended to be a lawyer when he was in fact a janitor at a lawyer’s office. If you don’t mind, I’ll pick the hot rugged prisoner over that loser anytime of the day.” She snickered with contempt.


“Whatever Cord, I’m not telling you anything else.”


“Come on! I’m dying here! You know gossip is my bread, my wine and my air. Spill the beans before I wither and die like a flower without sun and water..” Cordelia whined, knowing she’d get what she wanted anyway. She always did.


“And that is exactly why I won’t tell you anything. You’re just a big gossip machine. Yep, gossip machine, that’s what you are, missy. You know what will happen? I’ll tell you what you want to know, you’ll shriek in my ear in excitement, and hang up the phone on me. Less than an hour after that, it will be all over the news and I’ll be out of a job.”


“So you DID have hot monkey sex! Good for you!” When Cordelia Chase was onto something, she sure as Hell wouldn’t let go.


“Did not, you big freak!!”


“Alright, I’ll stop teasing you. But what’s the deal with that guy you were talking about? Was he hot?”


Buffy resisted for a few more seconds, then finally let it out.


“… Delicious.”


As she had predicted, her friend shrieked deafeningly into the phone.


“Buffy Summers!”


“Devilishly handsome. Very lickable. To die for. Sinfully gorgeous. Shall I go on?”


“Whatever happened to your rule about prisoners?” Cordelia asked in a more serious voice.


“Huh? What rule? I don’t have a rule…”


“You do now, missy: Don’t ogle them!”


“Cordelia, just how stupid do you think I am?”


**very, very stupid. Even more than that: Idiotic.** Buffy thought, ashamed of herself.


”You think I would risk my job to flirt with a guy who’s gonna spend the next twenty years behind the bars, all this because he has exquisite blue eyes, a tasty looking lower lip and perfect cheekbones? I’m not that dumb. Can’t a girl tell her best friend, after a long, horrible day, ‘Hey, I’ve seen a hot guy today’ without intending to do anything about it?”


“You know what Buff? I wasn’t actually serious, but you’re reacting so strongly about this that I’m starting to worry for real now.”


“Don’t. I’m sorry I freaked. I had a rough day. I wasn’t serious either.”


“Sure?”


“Sure.”


“Good. Now don’t go looking at that cute prison boy again or Queen C’s gonna come over and slap some sense into that blonde head of yours. Understood? And I’m only saying that because I’m your best friend, not because I would actually enjoy bitch-slapping you around.”


“As if you’d be able to anyway. I might be tiny, but I fight dirty. You know it, you’ve seen me in action.”


Cordelia cleared her throat. She remembered all too well Buffy’s bar-fighting days. “Yeah. Let’s forget about the bitch-slapping… So not going there with you, girl. You’re too much of a psycho for me. I could break a nail or…”


“Or your four-thousand dollar nose?”


“Screw you, my nose is real. Mother Nature gave me that nose! You’re just jealous!”


Buffy laughed. “Yes, keep telling yourself that if it helps… You know what Cordy, I’ve had a rough day. I think I’ll go soak in the tub for a while then hit the pillow.”


“And have naughty dreams about hot prison boy?”


“Whatever, you perv.”


“I’m sure you and your hand will have hours of fun together.”


“Fuck you.”


“Good night to you too!”


Buffy hung up and shook her head slightly. Cordelia and she had been best friends since high school. She was like a sister to her. But sometimes she had to wonder what kind of drugs she was on. Yeah right, as if she would ever do--that, thinking of…


**Who are you trying to fool, you big liar? Wasn’t it your intention anyway? Long, hot, bubble-bath, then go to bed and…**


“Argh!!”


Annoyed with herself for not being able to get her mind out of the gutter, Buffy got up and walked angrily back to the house, her wet feet making slapping noise on the concrete. She slammed the patio door shut behind her and locked it for the night. She turned the lights off after rinsing out her wine glass and went to her bathroom, hoping to finally be able to relax.


She had no such luck. While soaking in the fragrant hot water, surrounded by her favorite scented candles, she couldn’t stop the thoughts from bouncing around in her head like a Ping-Pong ball.


**Be strong, I said. Be merciless with them. Show them who’s the boss.** Buffy silently mocked herself.


**First week is crucial, don’t show any weakness or they’ll eat you alive… Yeah right. Chatting up Mr. Cheekbones, giggling like a schoolgirl at everything he said, then sending him back without any real punishment sure made me look like a real dictator.**


She let herself slide down in the tub until her head was under the water, hoping to silence her infuriating thoughts. Finally accepting the fact that nothing would take her mind off the morning’s events, she got out of the water and wrapped her wet body in a giant, plush, towel.


Once in the bedroom, she gathered the clothes that she had thrown all over her king size bed that morning, and dropped them on the floor, too tired to bother putting them away. Then she slid under the covers and turned the light off…


And stared at the ceiling.


…stared…


…and stared some more…


There was a tiny little crack in the paint…


Looked like a lightning…


Or maybe mountain tops if you looked the other way…


Or…


Buffy reached out to grab the pillow near her and shoved it on her face to muffle yet another scream of frustration.


Giving up the fight against her own mind’s desires, she closed her eyes and finally allowed herself to relax. She let her brain recreate the image of the blonde man who had captured her attention so effectively and gave in to the urge to slide her hands along her warm body. Her finger tips ran over her firm stomach, the feather like touch making her skin tingle.



Those eyes. She would never forget the intensity of those eyes as he looked up at her. So truthful; the emotions swirling in those blue pools--Like the ocean on a stormy day.


She should have been annoyed by the smirk stretching his generous lips, but she couldn’t bring herself to be. He had that boyish look, with his hair all messed up and his shiny blue eyes… She couldn’t even remember why he was in her office.


Buffy let out a soft moan when she finally dipped her slender fingers between her legs. She was surprised at how wet she was. How wet just thinking about this guy made her.


She knew that if she looked at herself in a mirror right now, she would probably see herself blushing like a virgin bride. She couldn’t explain why but she felt ashamed for thinking of him while pleasuring herself. She could see him so clearly in her mind that it made it all too real. Especially since she knew she really shouldn’t be thinking about him this way.


She flicked her clit a few times, nearly jumping off the bed at the first stroke. She hadn’t been that turned on in ages—Make it never. Spike. The nickname was so fitting.


“So, Spike huh? How did you get that nickname, if you don’t mind me asking?… And if the tale isn’t too gory.”
That laugh. He had such a sexy laugh. A light rumble coming from deep within his chest. And it made his eyes crinkle up--the blue getting deeper and darker.

“No pet, nothing too bloody. Well… a little. Stabbed a big wanker in the shoulder with a railroad spike. His buddies and him were attacking a guy for no good reason. I do enjoy a good spot of violence, but I can’t say I care much for an unfair fight. He lived. I got myself a nickname and a new best mate.”

“He forgave you that?”

“Not that guy, luv; the one I helped. Charles Gunn.”

“Oh. Right.”

Alright, reliving that conversation wasn’t exactly the biggest turn on. Maybe she could skip it. Though she did have a big grin on her face while thinking about their too short talk.


Buffy chuckled and pumped her fingers harder inside of her. She couldn’t believe just how silly that guy was making her.


She took the morning scene and rearranged it a bit. In her mind, she was now wearing a short black leather skirt instead of her suit pants.


**What was I thinking wearing pants anyway?…** she thought, still annoyed with her choice of outfit, but not for the same reasons that she had worried in the morning.


She let the fantasy play out in her head.


In a perfect imitation of Basic Instincts, she crossed and uncrossed her long legs. She could see Spike getting up from his seat and stalking towards her with a predatory look on his face.


In her bed, Buffy moaned from the erotic image she had just created in her head, and the action of her hands on her oversensitive flesh.


Spike put one hand on each of her knees to spread her legs and then slid his hands up her thighs, his eyes never leaving hers. As his hands traveled up he pushed her skirt higher, giving him better access to her soaked panties. He leaned forward and kissed her, caressing her soft lips with the tip of his tongue, just as one of his thumbs slid underneath the elastic band of her satin underwear and brushed against her clit. She was so turned on that this light contact made her come right away.


Buffy came with a frustrated whimper. She wanted the real thing, not some cheap imitation her brain could come up with.


**Yeah, but that will NEVER happen girl. Put it in that stubborn little blonde head of yours and move on!** With her hand still buried between her legs, she turned on her side and fell asleep almost instantly.


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Chapter 3: Imaginary freedom

A/N: Don't forget to review. Pretty please with chocolate sauce and cherry on top?

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A/N: The text in bold is Spike's fantasy


CHAPTER 3: Imaginary freedom



After guiding the prisoner through one drab hallway after another, the guard unlocked the handcuffs and pushed Spike outside of the building and into the equally dull yard. Everything in this soddin place was gray and grayer, with a touch of beige and greenish gray here and there. Spike had never considered himself a fan of bright colors and all that, but he swore to all Gods, or whoever was ruling this bleedin world, that if he ever got out of this Hell, nothing gray would ever be allowed in his house ever again.


Spike took a moment to massage his sore wrists then looked up, just as a few drops of cold rain splashed on his face.


“Bloody great.”


He shook his head in disbelief. Even the sky matched the surroundings. How appropriate. He took his pack of cigarettes out of his shirt pocket and lit one up, wondering if his sudden acute awareness of the décor’s drabness had anything to do with his earlier meeting with the new warden. The monotone environment seemed even duller when compared to the sparkling young woman.


“Get a grip mate…” Spike mumbled to himself, cigarette dangling from his lips.


He heard his name being called and turned to face in the direction where the voice came from. His friend Gunn was coming towards him.


“Hey man! What' you doin'g here? I thought for sure you’d disappear for a week after what happened in the cafeteria. How come they didn‘t throw your ass in isolation?”


Spike smirked. “Seems like there’s some kind of justice in this world after all. Who would have known.”


Gunn chuckled. “I know you survive on sarcasm Spike, but lets not push it.”


When there was no indication that his friend was going to say anything about what happened, Charles sighed and rolled his eyes at the blonde man.


“Am I gonna have to beat it out of you or are you gonna tell me what happened in there?”


Spike looked at Gunn like he'd just remembered the man was there.


“Oh. Right…” They started walking towards a more secluded area. “Nothing happened.”


Gunn gave Spike a ‘don’t give me that shit’ look. “So you’re telling me you almost killed a guy, got dragged by your hair out of the cafeteria and into the new warden’s office, and nothing happened? What kind of a fucking moron do you think I am?”


Spike flicked the remains of his cigarette away and sat on the cold ground with his back to the metal fence before answering.


“You’re mum would be very cross with you for using such foul language. I’m bloody fucking sure.”


“Ha. Ha. So, what happened?”


“Nothing. Happened. Got sent to the warden’s office, the chit asked me my side of the story, I told her what happened, and she sent me on my merry way.”


“Alright then.” Gunn seemed skeptical, but didn’t want to push the issue. He chose another tactic instead. “So, what was she like? You got to see her before everybody else, now you’re gonna have to share the details with your buddy. ”


“Real ugly thing. Old and fat, with those yellow teeth. Nasty.”


“You’re shitting me man.” Charles gave Spike a horrified look. They had all expected it to be bad, but never that bad.


“Yes I am. And it’s bloody entertaining.”


“Making you eat rocks would be entertaining too, but you don’t see me doing it.” Charles smiled smugly as Spike gave him the finger. “So, should I repeat the question? What does she look like?”


**A bloody vision of perfection and beauty. A goddess. With the most mesmerizing green eyes, hair like melted gold, and a smile that could brighten this Hellhole.**


“She was alright I guess. If you like the type. Short little California bird with the blonde hair and the tan.”


“Blonde California babe, huh? Just the type of chicks I dig.”


“Not a chance mate. Don’t waste a minute even thinking about the chit. She’s way out of your league, not to mention out of reach.” Spike wondered briefly who he was talking too when saying this. Gunn, or himself.


“Relax man. A guy’s allowed to fantasize. Besides, I haven‘t even seen her yet. But I can‘t wait now.”


“She owns your arse. The chit is here for one purpose, and one purpose only: make your life a living hell. Do you really want to start fantasizing about her? My advice to you mate is to be faithful to Halle and Beyonce. Besides, you’ll be disappointed.” Spike shrugged hoping to look casual. “She’s really not that hot.”


Ms. Summers leaning towards him, her blonde mane cascading over her shoulder, flashing him her million dollar smile.


The image crossed his mind briefly, but just long enough to make his cock twitch in his pants. His hand reached for his cigarettes of its own volition. He hoped Gunn didn’t notice the flame trembling when he lit the smoke. But his friend just kept on talking, oblivious to the blonde man’s state of mind.


“Yeah… I guess you’re right. My girls would get pissed if I’d think about some other chick. And if she’s working as penitentiary warden, there‘s gotta be something seriously wrong with her. Who in their right mind would chose to come to prison everyday? ”


“Strangely, it didn’t cross my mind to ask. Maybe you could attack someone, or try to escape. You’ll end up in her office and you can ask her yourself. Then you’ll have a month or two in isolation so you’ll have plenty of time to ponder her bloody answer.”


“Cute.” Charles snorted. “So, she really didn’t do anything to you? I still find it a little hard to believe that she’d let you go like that. It’s her first day at work, she’s got something to prove, doesn’t she? Not that I think you deserve discipline man. I mean, I was there. I know Parker attacked you for no reason other than he’s Parker.”


“She did discipline me a little.” Spike finally said.


“What, she got her paddle out of the closet and spanked you? Was it one of those black satin and pink feathers ones, with ‘dominatrix‘ written on it?”


“Do you even listen to the shit that comes out of your mouth?”


“Come on, what did she do?”


“Extra therapy sessions and she took me away from the license plates production line and sent me to work at the library. Permanently.”


“What?!” Gunn cried out indignantly. “Dude, that’s no punishment! You hate making license plates and love the library!”


Spike shrugged.


“What is this? Did you bat your pretty eyelashes at the woman?”


“Did not you wanker. And there’s nothing pretty ‘bout my eyelashes. They’re manly.”


Gunn took a good look at his friend. “Oh God, that’s why you don’t want to answer any questions! You like her! You liiiike her” he said in a sing-song voice, sounding like a twelve year old school boy.


“Would you sod off already and…”


Both men looked up when they heard someone clearing their throat to get attention. Two of the guys were standing there. Andrew and Jonathan. Also known as Spike’s most devoted groupies. Those two were the kind of guys that you’d imagine more easily sitting at home in front of their computers chatting about Star Wars, than as permanent occupants of a penitentiary. But they were in for massive Internet fraud as well as being accomplice in a girl’s murder. Their new occupation: stalking Spike.


Spike sighed, annoyed beyond words at seeing the two boys.


“What the bloody Hell do you want? Don’t you have someone else to drive stalkers? Go play D&D, exchange Star Trek cards… whatever it is you geeks do nowadays.”


When Andrew didn’t open his mouth to talk, Jonathan elbowed him in the ribs. Andrew yelped.


“Hey! That hurt you freak--Oh--yeah. Huh.. We, we were wondering…”


“We wanted to know, since you’ve met the new warden before everybody else, and we think that’s pretty neato what you did to that jerk Parker by the way, he soooo deserved it for attacking you like that, he’s such a jerk… and that cool move you did… man, how did you do that? It looked like something right out of Star wars, you know in Return of the Jedi when…”


Gunn growled. “If you don’t stop rambling and cut to the chase, you have no idea what I’m gonna do to you.”


Jonathan’s eyes bulged out comically at the threat. “Right. Anyway, what’s she like? Cause, you know, to be mentally prepared. Is she really bad? What does she look like? Is she like…”


Spike rubbed his temples, feeling the headache forming. “You starting to turn blue there, Spock. Take a deep breath.”


Andrew gave Jonathan a nasty look and hissed between his teeth: “Shut up, he’ll think we’re losers.”


Spike didn’t even bother pretending he didn’t hear. “I pretty much already think you are, so don’t worry bout it.” He rolled his eyes at the two geeks. “She’s a real evil bint, alright? Now you be good nerds and be on your merry way.”


“What do you mean she’s evil? What did she do?” Andrew asked, curious.


“She’s real scary. Yelled a lot, gave me enough shit to do that I’ll have to come back after I die to finish. Now leave. I’m sure you’re dying to tell everybody.”


Spike flicked his cigarette butt at them with a scold on his face. They backed up hurriedly, not wanting to push their luck.


“Why did you lie?”


“Don’t know. The bird’s been real nice to me, I’d be the biggest wanker in the world if I’d go tell everybody. How would she get respect if she already has the reputation of being soft on her first day on the job?”


“You liiiiiike her!”


“And do you like your teeth the way they are? Cause I can rearrange them if you don’t shut your bloody gob.”


Gunn made kissing noises and laughed when Spike gave him a warning growl.


“What are you? Twelve?”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


“LIGHTS OUT.”


Spike stared at the shadows on the wall for the longest time, listening to the not so familiar prison’s sounds. He had been told that you get used to it after a while and don’t even hear it anymore, but it had been six months for him and it still felt like his first day… everyday.


That old saying about getting used to everything? That was bullocks. Certain things were just too horrible for a human mind to get past. Maybe it depended on who you were. Spike could see how a ruthless murderer, a rapist, or someone who spent the best years of his life in unmentionable dives and dark alleys, could possibly call this place home. After all, you had free food. Not very good, but still. And you had cable TV, a gym, you could even study if you felt like it. For some, it was the bloody Hilton, that‘s what it was. Or maybe more like the Super 8 motel.


But this world was not his. He didn’t belong there. He had always loved things of beauty. The little boy who grew up wanting to become a poet or write stories about love and fantasy worlds, was lost in the confined cell. The only freedom he had left was his imagination.


Spike closed his eyes, trying to erase from his mind the images of the steel bars, the concrete floor and walls, the chair bolted to the floor. He felt so exposed in the open cell, under the very thin blanket; Snyder, his cell mate, snoring loudly in the cot right underneath his own.


The noises were so near that he could almost hear Gunn breathing in his own cell. He forced himself to block the sounds out. To not feel the rough blanket against his skin. The cold. It was all making it hard for him to escape to his own world. But he was trying anyway. Every night he was trying, but now, he had a motivation. She made it easier. Behind his closed eyelids, he saw the world as it should be.


He was walking across UCLA’s campus under the bright afternoon sun. He had never met Drusilla Blackwell. Didn’t know the name. Angel and Darla didn’t even exist. Just him, under the sun. Free.
There was a new literature teacher and she wanted to see him to talk about one of his papers. At least that‘s what the email he received earlier said. He hadn‘t even had a class with her yet so he didn‘t know what to expect.

Spike turned on his side, wincing as the cot protested loudly. He curled up in a protective manner. Habit he picked up on his very first horrible night in jail.


Spike walked through a long succession of sunny hallways and came to a stop in front of the teacher’s office. She had obviously just moved into the office because the plaque on the door hadn’t been changed. Instead, a piece of paper covered it and a delicate handwriting said: Buffy Summers.


His light knock on the door was quickly answered by a feminine voice.


“Come in please.”


Spike pushed the door open. There she was. His dream girl. Looking like a goddess. The sunrays streaming through the window behind her were putting a halo around her golden hair making her look like a vision. God she was perfect. The strap of her yellow sundress sliding down her tanned shoulder…


Spike frowned. *Sundress? Not very teacher-like… Oi! Sod off! It’s my bloody dream and she’ll wear a sundress if I want her to.*

He rolled his eyes at his own internal argument, and reached down under the blanket to touch his already painfully hard erection. His cock jumped, desperately needing the attention.


Spike just stood there without saying a word. He couldn’t have even if he wanted to. They were staring at each other, the electricity flying between them. She finally broke the silence.


“Mr. Rayne, right?”


He nodded numbly. “…William.”


“Shut the door and lock it, William.”


Spike took hold of his hard cock and gave it a few slow strokes. He stiffened a moan, not wanting to attract attention to himself.


“You wanted to see me Ms. Summers?”


Buffy crooked her finger and motioned for him to approach.


“I saw you this morning walking around campus” She said in a breathy voice, shaking her golden hair on her shoulders.


Spike took a step towards where she was sitting on her desk.


“I just needed to find out who you were and… “ She waited, looking at him as he got closer. “…meet you in person.”


He was so close that he could feel her breath on his face, smell her perfume. Her tiny little hand reached down to caress the bulge that had been forming in his pants. She never broke eye contact while her nimble little fingers were tracing the contour of his penis through the fabric of his trouser. Her lips were so moist and shiny… so close he could almost taste her.


Without a warning, she unzipped his pants and took his throbbing cock out.


Spike gripped his cock harder and started pumping at a fast pace, trying to convince himself that it was Buffy giving him a hand job, not himself. It was getting harder to stay quiet but it wouldn’t do to have a guard walking in front of his cell and bring attention to him by making some loud, rude comment--they did it all the time, but he himself never got caught. Thank God. He really wasn’t the “public display” kinda guy.


“I want you William. As soon as I saw you, I knew I had to have you.”


She jerked him faster, then, feeling that he was about to come, reached down with her other hand to caress his balls. Her eyes never left his.


Spike did the same while the vision of Buffy smiled at him. He took some of the toilet paper he had left by his cot and came in it, hiding his face in his pillow to keep quiet.


Spike calmed down and shut his eyes tightly as realization sunk in.


*The warden, you BLOODY, STUPID, IDIOTIC, WANKER. THE SODDIN WARDEN!! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR GODDAMN MIND?! Argh!*


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 4: Every night

A/N: Good? Bad? Hot? Blah? Enjoyable? Borring? Let me know! ;-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: The lyrics at the end of the chapter are from Burn, by The Cure.


CHAPTER 4: Every night


The blond man tossed and turned on the small, uncomfortable bed. As usual, he was restless and caught in the nightmare. Always the same. His past was haunting him through his sleep and he couldn’t escape. Prisoner of the cold building during the day, prisoner of his dreams at night. ,



His heart was racing, the blood pounding in his ears. His palms were clammy. The hallway seemed to stretch out indefinitely in front of him. The lights seemed dimmer than usual… his vision blurry.
He wanted to get there fast and get it over with. Quick. The way you remove a band aid. One swift motion so it doesn’t hurt too much. And at the same time, the closer he got from the bedroom door, the more he wanted to turn on his heel and run away. As far away from this place as he could, and never come back to this God forsaken place.


The laughter and sounds of passion were getting louder. He did not want to relive this. He did not chose to come back here. But somehow, he did. Every time he relived it, he couldn’t remember exactly what happened next, but somehow he knew he had been there before and it wouldn’t be good.


He put one foot in front of the other, as if he was caught in a play he knew by heart and had no choice but to play his part. To do everything the way it was supposed to happen.


William wasn’t an idiot. He might have been somewhat naïve and foolish when it came to love, but he knew what was going on. He had known for a long time, despite trying to repress the horrifying idea. He was now one step away from facing it once and for all and he didn‘t want to.


He stopped in front of the bedroom door, the moaning echoing in his head. So familiar. The sounds that used to make him so proud because he was the one causing them. But not this time. This time, he was standing outside the bedroom door and someone else was in there.


Taking a deep breath, William put a hand on the door. It was already cracked open so all he had to do was push to make it open slowly, with a fatality that fit the situation perfectly.


Everything was blurry. As if he was walking surrounded by fog. He saw nothing. Wasn’t aware of his surroundings. He was so deeply in shock over the scene displayed in front of him that he couldn’t even see Angel standing by the door wearing nothing but a maniacal smile. The tall man was only two feet away and yet, Spike couldn’t even realize he was there. He couldn’t see Darla either, laying on the bed with her hand between Drusilla’s legs. Her high pitched laughter seemed to be coming from everywhere. His subconscious knew they were all there, but all he could see was Drusilla. She was so perfectly clear in his sight. Her white skin glowing on the equally while satin sheets she was so found of. Her raven black hair a stunning contrast on the white satin pillows.


He hadn’t even acknowledged the deafening sharp bang. Didn’t know where it came from, or what it was. He could only stare. He stared as the ruby red spot on the snow white sheets grew larger and larger until it covered almost all of the bed. It was an eerie sight, really.


He looked down at the gun that had appeared in his hand… He didn’t know when, or how. The horror of all this took him by surprise. As if suddenly waking up. He opened his hand and the gun dropped to the floor in slow motion. Darla was still laughing.


Drusilla sat up, pointing a bloody finger at him.


“Poor sweet William. The moon and the stars played a nasty trick on you didn’t they? I hear them laughing. Naughty, they are. The night has taken you and won’t let you go play with the sun anymore because you have filthy, filthy, hands. Soiled with my blood…”


Tears where streaming down his handsome face, unbeknownst to him. “I didn’t kill you! I didn’t!”


Blood escaped her cherry red lips as she smiled, then started laughing.



“I didn’t… I didn’t…”


“Oh for God’s sake! Will you wake up, you lunatic!”


Spike gasped, trying to catch his breath. He looked around, trying to understand where he was and what was happening. His eyes finally landed on the very unappealing face of Snyder.


The little man snorted in disgust. “Some people would appreciate getting some sleep--if it fits into your schedule, somewhere between the whimpering and the yelling.”


“Shut your bloody gob, rat face” Spike spat at his cellmate.


Snyder went back to his own cot, mumbling under his breath. “Every night. EVERY single night… Freak.”




Sleep a while
You must be tired...
But every night I burn
Every night I call your name
Every night I burn
Every night I fall again
Every night I burn
Scream the animal scream
Every night I burn
Dream the crow black dream

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Chapter 5: A little motivation

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CHAPTER 5: A little motivation


She had done it. She had finally done it. Buffy had fallen asleep. Of course, she wasn’t there anymore to marvel on that fact, but if she had been able to comment, she would have said: “Thank you God.”


But her sleep was not that different from her previous state. She was tossing and turning, every bit as restless as she had been earlier when awake.



The young teenage girl was led down a corridor with her hands in front of her, the handcuffs shining brightly in the harsh artificial light of the neon. The police station was buzzing with activity despite the ungodly hour.


**I guess criminals don’t sleep** Buffy thought somberly.


“Sit here.” The female officer who was leading her instructed. “Your mother is in there talking to the sergeant.” The officer knocked and walked in.


Buffy sprawled on the uncomfortable chair, trying her best to look unimpressed and annoyed. To the casual observer, it probably worked. But inside, she was a mess. It might have been her third time at the police station, but she still found it nerve wrecking. She was scared shitless. She really didn’t feel all that tough at the moment.


The officer came back out and told Buffy she could go inside.


Buffy walked in, dragging her feet and looking down. Her blonde hair was falling in front of her face like a shield. She heard the heavy sigh coming from her mother but didn’t look up.


The man sitting on the other side of the desk asked her to take a seat. She was well prepared to answer him as rudely as possible and refuse to sit, but his voice was so soothing and firm that she did as asked.


**Must be the British accent** she thought, still looking at her combat boots like they held the answers to some deep existential questions.


“Will you look at me Miss Summers? I’d like us to talk like grown ups. So put down the façade please. I can see right through it anyway so you’re just wasting your energy trying to keep it up.”


Buffy reluctantly looked up at the man talking to her. For a second there, she found that she couldn’t breath. Her eyes widened at the sight of his handsome features. It was as if he didn’t belong in that cold, impersonal, environment. There was a calm strength rolling off of him in waves. Passion in his blue eyes. She felt as if his gaze could see her soul and almost giggled out loud as a funny image crossed her mind. The man was wearing nothing but a white loincloth, sandals on his feet, a sword in his hand and wings behind his back, like some kind of an archangel. A smile tugged at her lips and she let out a derisive snort at the somewhat ridiculous thought that had popped into her head.


“Something funny?”


**Get a grip girl** she scolded herself.


“No sir. Nothing.”


Her mother finally opened her mouth. “Buffy, honey, please listen to what Mr. Rayne has to say.”


The young girl cast a quick guilty glance towards her mother, then her eyes settled back on the sergeant.


“I’m sorry sir--look, I’m not gonna do it again, ok? I’ll just be on my way and I promise to be a good girl from now on. No more fighting or anything. Cross my heart…”


“Not that easy this time Buffy.”


“Oh--you mean… Oh God! I’m not going to a foster home, am I? Or one of those places for delinquent teenagers, or, or…”


“No, you’re going to jail.” Sergeant Rayne gave her a warm smile that didn’t fit the seriousness of what he just said.


Buffy paled dramatically and gripped the armrests of her chair until her knuckles turned white. “… What?! But, you can’t! I’m 17. Minors don’t go to jail unless they’ve killed people and stuff, right? RIGHT?”


The handsome British man laughed goodheartedly. “Relax Buffy, I didn’t say we were putting you behind bars. But at the rate you’re going, that’s most likely where you’ll end up. I don’t understand Buffy. You look like a smart, strong, young woman with a lot of potential. What do you rebel against?”


The blonde man leaned forward, his weight resting on his elbows, obviously waiting for an answer.


Buffy looked away. “Dunno.” She finally mumbled.


He merely raised an eyebrow.


She shifted on her chair, uncomfortable under his scrutiny. “You know--stuff. Unfairness. The world in general. It all sucks.”


“So, correct me if I’m wrong, but you don’t like society so you hit people on the back of the head with bar stools and beer bottles?”


Buffy snorted, offended. “Hey, just the ones who deserve it ok.”


“But honey,” Joyce started. “You used to be such a good girl, with good grades, friends… What happened?”


“What happened?! I opened my eyes, that’s what happened! People are mean. I’ve seen stuff… So called friends kicking someone who’s already on the floor, hurting people who are too weak to defend themselves, for popularity’s sake. Well I’m done standing by and laughing with them. That’s what happened. That girl I sent to the hospital tonight… She deserved it. She said something unthinkable to another human being and I wasn’t just gonna let it slip. So go ahead, send me to jail. I don’t give a fuck.”


“Buffy! Language!”


Sergeant Rayne ignored her mother, focusing all his attention on the young girl sitting in the chair in front of him.


“Your intentions are good, but you’re on the wrong track luv. Continue this way, and you’ll spend your life in prison. You have to focus this need for justice and put it to good use. You’re a good person, with strong beliefs , and there are very few people like you. So don’t waste it.


“Mr. Rayne had an idea honey.” Joyce added. “He knows someone at the LA county jail and he thought that maybe you could work there part time for a little while. Just during the weekends…”


Buffy’s eyes darted from her mom to the sergeant fearfully. “What?.. No! I can’t do that! I mean, I’m not--I couldn’t--possibly…”


“Sure you can.” The sergeant gave her a warm smile that illuminated his handsome face. “You can do this. You are strong enough. And who knows, maybe it will be a revelation for you. Maybe that’s where you need to be.”


He looked straight into her eyes, blue clashing with green, and for a moment, they were alone in the office.


“You need to believe in yourself, and believe that you can do this. You believe in justice, don’t you? What better place for you to be then? And… maybe someone needs you in there. Maybe someone needs justice to be done and you’re the only one who can do it…”


The annoying sound seemed to be coming from everywhere at once. Buffy just lay on her back, eyes still closed, wondering sleepily what the hell was making that noise. She growled when she finally realized what it was: the phone. Reaching out blindly, she got a hold of the offending thing and answered.


“…What?”


“Rude much.” Came the perky voice of Cordelia through the receiver.


“Mghrhmmm”


“Sorry, I don’t speak cave Buffy. Care to translate?”


“What do you want?”


Cordelia let out an audible offended breath. “I put my alarm clock three hours early to wish my best friend good luck and that’s what I get for my trouble?”


Buffy chuckled. “As if.”


“Fine, fine. I had to get up for a business meeting. I’m having breakfast with the owner of a new store on Rodeo drive who’s interested in my clothing line. But still, my intentions were pure.”


“Thanks Cor. And good luck with your meeting.”


“So,” the other girl asked, “any dreams about prison boy?”


“Sorry to disappoint, but no.” Buffy lied, biting her lower lip. “Johnny Depp saved me from a mob of evil bunnies in Prague.”


She wasn’t going to tell Cordelia how ‘prison boy’ took the place of the overweight, bald, officer who sent her to work at L.A. county prison ten years ago in her dream. Things had happened differently back then, for one thing, the guy hadn’t been interested in finding out why exactly she was rebelling--not that she would have told him about Tara anyway--and wasn’t sending her there so she could find a career. He just wanted to scare the shit out of her. In the dream, Spike had been sitting behind the desk and telling her to believe in herself and basically, to help him. But except for that, everything had been the same.


“Evil bunnies, huh?”


“Maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something?”


“Yeah. That you’re deranged.”


“Bitch.”


“Loony.”


“Wallmart designer.”


“Ouch.”


Buffy laughed. “Did I get the last word on this one? That would be a first.”


“I’ll give you this one, but don’t get used to it. Gotta go hon, I just burned a red light and nearly killed some old lady crossing the street. But good luck today.”


“Thanks Cordy. I should talk to you every morning, you put me in a good mood.”


“That would be the Cordelia Chase Harris curse: I try to be a bitch, and all I manage to do is put a smile on peoples faces. Call me later.”


“Will do.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


“Silence!”


The voice of the usually calm and collected Rupert Giles echoed throughout the cafeteria, efficiently getting the attention of the prisoners.


Buffy was holding her hands behind her back to hide the tremors her nervousness was causing. She might have worked with cons for ten years, but it was the first time she was going to address them all at once and she couldn‘t help the uncertainty crawling under her skin. She was standing with the rest of the prison staff who had been assembled for the speech, and so far, no one had noticed her. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She had spotted Spike almost right away--he was sitting on the side alone with another con--a really tall black guy--and he was looking straight at her.


She realized that Giles was still talking, and she had missed most of what he said.


“… and I hope that unlike yesterday, you’ll be on your best behavior. So here she is, your new warden.”


Buffy took a step forward, trying to look determined, an ‘I’m in charge’ look on her face. But she wasn’t feeling it, and people can always sense that.


“Hello everyone, I’m… “


Her words were lost in a sea of lewd comments, cheers and laughter. She waited for them to calm down but it didn‘t seem like they would any time soon. Then, she cast a quick glance towards Spike. He was still looking at her, smiling encouragingly, and she automatically felt more confident.


Buffy took another couple of steps, coming to stand near the first tables. Giles reached out to stop her, obviously worried for her safety, but she ignored him.


“ENOUGH!” She yelled, her voice surprisingly loud for such a tiny woman. It shocked everyone into silence.


“As I was saying, my name is Buffy Summers and I’m your new warden. I might be a woman, and I might not look very intimidating, but I won’t take shit from any of you. I have the power to make your life miserable. As long as you remember this, we’ll get along just fine. Is that clear?”


She could see from the corner of her eye that Spike’s smile had grown wider.


Everything was going to be just fine. The Spike in her dream was right: she could do this.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CHAPTER 6: Life isn't always fair to gentlemen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CHAPTER 6: Life isn't always fair to gentlemen


Extending an arm in front of her, the young warden pushed the seemingly endless piles of papers and files cluttering her desk to the side and sighed tiredly. Resting her weight on her elbows, Buffy massaged her sore temples and closed her eyes, willing the headache to go away, without much success.


Giles poked his head through the open door of her office. The security headquarters, where his own office was located, was a little further down the hall. In the week she had been working there, he made a habit of stopping by to chat once in a while, when her office door was open and he had a minute to himself.


He cleared his throat to get her attention. “I got you some coffee. You look like you might need it. You‘ve had your head buried in those documents all morning.”


“My hero! You are, by far, my favorite person in the world right now. Thank you so much.” She gestured for him to have a seat while taking the paper cup from him.


“No need to thank me Buffy. I just noticed that you’ve been working at your desk since you arrived this morning and thought you might need a break. And after working around her for a few years now, I realize Harmony does have a tendency to be forgetful about these things. It’s not that she doesn’t try, it’s just that--If you ask her for a coffee, you will be lucky to get it sometime during the next week.”


Buffy laughed at this. “Yes, but I think I’ll keep her anyway. Despite her lack of decorum, she seems to be a sweet girl and she’s not doing such a bad job. She can be annoying sometimes, but nothing I can’t deal with. I guess as long as I accept the fact that I’ll have to get my own coffee, we’ll be fine. Thanks for checking on me though, I appreciate it. You have no idea how much my brain cells needed a break right now. I swear, I‘m looking at you, and I can still see legal documents dancing in front of my eyes.”


Giles glanced at the piles of files on Buffy’s desk. “Am I wrong in assuming that your predecessor left you with a tremendous amount of unfinished projects to sort through?”


“You’re right on. The son of a… “ Buffy caught herself, and gave Giles an innocent smile. “I mean, Mr. Wilkins left a gigantic mess behind. I’m sure he’s roasting on some Mexican beach, a playboy model rubbing sun tan lotion on his back, and he’s laughing at me right now.” Buffy frowned, suddenly unsure. “He IS the corrupted one you were talking about, right? Or is he the one who killed himself? In which case, he’s probably roasting in hell for this.” She pointed at the work scattered all over her desk.


“Corrupted one.” Giles confirmed with a smile. “He stole a great deal of money from the prison. But… you’re probably already aware of that.”


The blonde woman snorted and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I got that memo. Is there anything he didn’t do? The guy was way evil.”


“I’m afraid he was, yes.”


Buffy stretched in her chair, rolling her neck and pulling her arms above her head. She made a face at the soreness in her tired limbs.


“You know Giles, I’ve been sitting here for hours and my butt is kinda numb. What about doing that inspection of the facilities I’ve been putting off for a week? Are you up to it?”


“Of course. We could do it now if you wish.”


“Yes, I think I need a change of scenery before I go insane.”


Buffy got up, grabbed her jacket from the back of her leather chair. She fumbled for a moment, trying to find her clipboard and a pen that worked, then she followed Giles out of the office.


When they walked pass Harmony’s desk, the perky blonde secretary stopped them.


“Oh boss? Ms. Osborne called.”


Buffy frowned in confusion. “Who?”


Harmony rolled her eyes at her. “Hello! The criminologist? She works here? Anyway, she said she’ll come back from her vacation a day early to have a chance to meet with you.”


Buffy took a deep breath not to snap at the girl. “And that’d be when exactly Harmony?”


“Well duh, Friday.”


“Fine. Block some time on my schedule would you?”


“On it!” Harmony carefully wrote it down on her pad, then smiled at Buffy, obviously pleased with herself.


Buffy just shook her head and followed Giles down the corridor.


“This girl amazes me. It’s like we speak two different languages.”


“Don’t worry too much about it. Took me at least two years to get what the bloody hell that girl was talking about. You’ll get the hang of it… eventually.”


“Yeah, I won’t keep my hopes up. I might have to hire a translator eventually or I risk a permanent headache.”


They passed the metal detectors, then a few bulletproof glass doors and into the secure area. Two other guards accompanied them in case of trouble.


That’s how started what seemed like days of walking, listening to Giles pointing out the things he had been wanting to bring to her attention and taking notes on her clipboard. This wasn’t getting rid of her headache at all, but at least they were moving. She had desperately needed to ease the cramps in her legs caused by the long hours sitting behind her desk. Immobility wasn’t one of Buffy Summers’ favorite things. She was more of an action girl. Always had been.


But stepping into the workout area, Buffy’s need for action was about to be fulfilled dramatically.


“The camera in this corner, in my humble opinion, isn’t in the right angle. It should be moved or another one should be added so we can get a better coverage… “


Giles was suddenly interrupted by loud shouting coming from the other end of the room, followed by the sound of people fighting.


Automatically, the two security guards who had been following them quietly during the tour of the facilities sprang into action. They rushed to where a convict was just about to hit another with a 50 pound dumbbell, while the other cons cheered him on and started fighting amongst themselves.


The security guard on duty in the workout area ran to help them. Some of the prisoners decided to take advantage of the disruption to rush the exit but Giles saw it and made them back up. He wasn’t paying attention to Buffy anymore.


Engrossed in what was happening, and yelling orders in her two way radio, Buffy wasn’t paying attention either. She didn’t notice the con coming at her from behind until it was too late. She turned, just in time to have his meaty fist smashed into her stomach. She lost her wind long enough for him to throw her out of his way, and headfirst into the nearest wall.


Buffy blinked several times, trying to fight the darkness that threatened to swallow her. A face came into focus in her sight and she could hear his voice calling to her. It sounded very far away.


“Buffy… Ms. Summers! Are you alright? Don’t close your eyes luv, stay with me.”


It was Spike. She wanted to answer him, but then he was gone, and everything went black.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


“I’m alright… I’m fine… not closing my eyes, just resting them…” Buffy mumbled, slowly coming to.


She opened her eyes carefully. She blinked at the sudden harshness of the overhead light and looked around, surprised that Spike wasn’t there anymore. In his place was a girl that she remembered for being… What was her name again? Annie? Hanna? She looked around herself, trying to figure out where she was. She wasn’t in the workout area anymore. It looked like the infirmary.


**How the hell did I get here so fast? I just closed my eyes for like two seconds. Did someone finally figure out the secret to teleportation?**


Thinking hurt her head and she groaned before closing her eyes again.


“Don’t close your eyes and pretend that you’re still unconscious. I heard you groan.”


Buffy opened her eyes again and this time, the nurse’s face was mere inches from her own, making her jump.


“You’re gonna have a very unappealing bump on your head. But except for that, you’re perfectly fine and physically able to go on with your normal activities without worrying. Maybe you shouldn’t drive your car though. You’d probably end up killing someone. But hey, on the brighter side,” she added with a bright smile, “orgasms don‘t require concentration. So you can have them without risk.”


Buffy stared at the girl with her mouth open. Now she remembered what the girl’s name was. “… Anya, right?”


“Yes.” Anya smiled at her, obviously pleased that her employer remembered her name. “We met the day of your speech, but we haven’t had a chance to talk since.”


Buffy gave her a tight smile. **Oh joy, the girl was already making my head hurt when I was perfectly healthy. Now, she’s gonna kill me for sure.**


“Spike… “ Buffy started asking. “What happened to him?”


“Oh, don’t worry. He’s being taken care of. I’ll go and ask someone to drive you home. You look awful.” The brunette turned around without waiting for an answer, and left the room.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The punch hit him square in the jaw and Spike fell on his knees, spitting out blood. He had already received a few solid ones to the ribs and by the pain radiating throughout his torso, he could tell they’d probably broken one or two.


“No bloody fair to hit a man who can’t defend himself you wankers.” He hissed through clenched teeth.


He had been dragged more roughly than usual towards isolation, but they really lashed out at him when he had asked if the warden was all right. He didn’t know exactly why but wasn‘t going to ask either.


One of the guards grabbed the back of his shirt and unceremoniously threw Spike headfirst in the isolation cell.


“You can expect to rot in here for a lifetime or two, Spike. And after what you did, we might even forget about your sorry ass. Nobody would miss you. ”


The other guard laughed.


Spike didn’t bother to answer. He wiped the blood from his face and sat back against the wall of the cell. He could be honest with himself and admit that he was usually actively looking for trouble. But for once, he didn’t think he did anything to deserve this treatment. He had only tried to protect the young woman from the ongoing fight.


**Right. Like fairness has any part to play in my bloody soddin life anyway** He thought somberly.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The cab dropped Buffy off in front of her house, and the driver helped her reach the front door.


“You sure you alright miss? You look like a ghost.”


“I’ll be just fine sir, don’t worry. I’m tougher than I look. Thanks for your help.”


Buffy’s smile faded as soon as the cab driver turned to walk away. She felt like shit. It felt like her head was double its normal size.


She made her way to her bedroom and let herself sink into her plush bed. She was starting to think that she might take Giles’ advice after all, and take a few days off.


**I’ll have to make sure to thank Spike when I get back to work** She thought drowsily before drifting off to sleep.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CHAPTER 7: French lessons


A/N: And please, don't forget Fanfiction Authors' drug of choice: Review! Please, gimme some! ;-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CHAPTER 7: French lessons



Monday morning, Buffy decided that she was rested enough to go back to work. She had spent Thursday, Friday and the weekend home, wrapped in her afghan and watching movies. Now her head was feeling much better, and she was bored to tears. She knew that one more day off and she’d never be able to catch up on her work at the prison. She was so eager to get back that she made it to her office before the night staff had been relieved. That’s where Giles found her, so engrossed in what she was doing that she didn’t even hear him knock.


“Buffy? What a surprise! I thought for sure you’d be gone for another few days. How are you feeling?”


Buffy smiled up at him, and leaned back in her chair. “I was doing much better until I realized just how much of a set back this whole ordeal has been. I’m behind on everything I had to do. I’m gonna have to put in a lot of extra hours this week if I want to catch up.”


The young woman got up and went to the brand new coffee maker she had installed in a corner of her office. She poured two cups.


“A coffee maker?” Giles chuckled from where he was standing in the doorway.


“Well yeah. It was the only logical solution to my problem. Harmony won’t get me coffee, and I’m too lazy to walk all the way to the staff lunchroom and get it myself. So I went to Wallmart yesterday and got my very own coffee machine. This way everyone’s happy.”


Buffy turned around and rolled her eyes dramatically when she noticed that Giles was being his usual British self. He was staying politely by the door, waiting to be invited in. She chuckled and shook her head. “Come on Giles, don’t just stand there. Have a seat.”


As he walked in and sat down in front of her, she handed him a cup of coffee. He gave her a grateful smile.


“You know, you don’t have to be so polite and proper with me. We’ve only known each other for a little more than a week, but I consider you a friend already. Or at least,” She added, suddenly unsure, “I was hoping we could be friends--eventually.”


“Of course, Buffy. I do like you very much.” He said warmly. “I just wasn’t sure where I stood with you and didn’t want to be overly familiar. But if you don’t mind the familiarity…”


“I don’t mind at all Giles. I told you, as long as we’re not around prisoners, there’s no ‘rank’ between us, all right?”


“As you wish, Buffy. So…” He hesitated, obviously fighting his instinct for formality. “Huh--How was your weekend?”


Buffy almost laughed at how flustered he looked, but she managed to keep a straight face. After all, he was making an effort.


“I almost turned into a vegetable. At one point, I thought I would start growing roots. I spent the weekend on the couch. Nothing very exciting. But I guess I needed that. It had been a long time since I’d had time to pamper myself like that. You probably noticed already, I’m kind of a workaholic. It’s always all work and no play for Buffy. I rarely take time for myself like I did this weekend.”


“Yes, I did notice. I can already tell that you’ll be doing a fantastic job here. I’ve been working in this prison for over twenty years and of all the wardens I’ve dealt with, you’re the first one who seems to love the job. Though putting your work before your own happiness cannot be healthy. Surely you have other activities? Friends, family, love interest?”


This time, Buffy laughed out loud. “If that’s the way you feel, I guess I’ll wait before asking you how things have been here since I left.”


She grinned playfully at him and he shook his head slightly.


“To answer your question, no, I don’t have that many people in my life. My mom lives in San Francisco where she owns an art gallery. We call each other once in a while, but she’s busy. My father has been MIA for years now. He’s probably on a yacht somewhere in Greece with his barely legal mistress. And I have a younger sister, Dawn, who’s a student at UCLA. She‘s the smart one in the family. She‘s been in Paris perfecting her French for the past four months. She came back three weeks ago but I hadn‘t had a chance to see her yet.”


“What about friends?”


“The only close friends I have are Cordelia and Xander. We were always together in high school but now that we’re grown ups and living in different cities, it’s getting harder to see each other. They got married when we finished school and have a little girl, Camille.” She paused, pretending to be thinking hard about this. “Yup. That would sum up my very pathetic social life. As far as love is concerned--I gave up on that a while ago. I have the worst taste in men and it always ends badly. I‘m much better off single. Less drama.”


“Nonsense. You are a beautiful, bright, young woman. You can’t possibly tell me that you gave up on love already because of a few bad experiences. There’s no point in living without love. You just haven’t found the one yet. Give it some time.”


“I don’t know. I’ve never really been in love before. I’ve had a couple of innocent crushes when I was in high school, but it wasn’t love. And usually, the guys I dated were jerks or just plain weird. But what about you, Giles? Did you find the one?”


Giles cleared his throat uncomfortably. He was obviously not used to talking about himself so openly. “Well, huh.. I don’t know if… she’s the one or not, but I have been seeing Anya, the new nurse. She’s special. Strangely enough, I like her bluntness. It takes getting used to at first, but you never have to guess with her. It‘s… refreshing.”


The blonde girl just stared at him, mouth gapping. “Anya? No way! That’s… great! Wow, you guys are so--different.”


Giles took off his glasses and started cleaning them. “I understand your surprise. We are indeed quite different. But you know what they say: opposites attract. I’ve never really believed that old saying before, but I’m starting to think maybe it is true after all. Perhaps I could introduce her to the delicate art of tact, and in return, she could help me loosen up a bit.” Giles said with a mischievous glint in his blue eyes.


Buffy chuckled.


Giles looked at his watch and got up. “I really should get going. I have quite a lot of work to do today and I’m sure you do too.”


“All right. It was nice to finally have a chance to talk. The rest of the staff isn’t very friendly. Half of them still look at me like I’m some kind of a joke, and the other half just ignore me.”


“They’ll come around, Buffy. Just give them some time.”


“Yeah, I know.” She sighed. “But it’s just depressing. Alright, enough self pity. I’ll see you later.”


Giles turned to leave, but remembering that she had planned on meeting with Spike later on, she stopped him. “I almost forgot--could you…”


Buffy interrupted herself when Harmony walked in. She gave her secretary a questioning look.


“Here you go.” The bubbly blonde gave her boss her brightest smile while dropping on her desk a mountain of documents. The top of the pile was decorated with what looked like a field of yellow post-its. Harmony’s trademark.


“What are those, Harm?”


“Urgent stuff that accumulated while you were on your unplanned vacation.”


“I wasn’t on vac--never mind. And what are the post-its for exactly?”


“Things scheduled for today and other things that need attending to. Like the showers have started acting funky this weekend and the guys are getting majorly pissed off. Cold water is supposed to make your hair shinier. They should be happy, but they‘re not. Go figure. You also have a meeting with the caterers at 11am about that food poisoning last week. But--It’s all there on the little post-its, and in order of priority. I’m sure you can read it yourself.”


The more Harmony talked, the more Buffy’s shoulders slouched.


“Thank you. That was very considerate of you.” She said in a barely concealed mocking tone that Harmony missed completely.


“No problem boss.” She walked out, forgetting to shut the door behind her as usual.


Buffy sighed deeply in front of the workload that awaited her. She finally noticed Giles still standing expectantly by the door. She gave him a puzzled look.


“You were saying something before Harmony walked in.” He reminded her.


“Oh. Yeah. But you know what, forget about it. I won’t have time today. It’s something I can do tomorrow. If I’m still alive.”


“I will let you get to work then.”


He closed the door after him, and Buffy took the first post-it, needing to start somewhere. It said:


Contact maintenance for shower repair to avoid riot


It was written in pink, and the “i” in “riot” had a little heart shaped dot on it.


Buffy rolled her eyes dramatically. This was gonna be a long day.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Buffy grinned happily when her house came into view and she saw who was waiting for her. She turned the steering wheel sharply to engage her little sports car in the driveway. Anybody who would have witnessed the maneuver would have gasped in fear when the red car stopped no more than half an inch from the garage door, but not the dark haired girl who was sprawled comfortably on the front porch stairs. She had seen much worse displays of Buffy’s horrible driving in her lifetime. Which was the reason why she would never set foot in a car with her, even if Orlando Bloom himself asked her to. The young girl had her pretty face upturned to enjoy the warm sun, long chocolate brown hair and expensive sunglasses shining in the late afternoon light. Buffy slammed her car door and walked towards her. As she approached, the girl finally jumped up to her feet.


“Dawn!” Buffy exclaimed happily. “Oh my God, I’ve missed you so much!” She hugged the taller girl fiercely.


“Moi aussi! Je me suis ennuyée de toi comme tu ne peux pas savoir. Comment va ma soeur préferée?”


“Huh?”


The look on Buffy’s face was priceless and Dawn couldn’t help but laugh.


“I said: Me too. I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you. How’s my favorite sister doing?”


Buffy pouted. “Yeah, yeah. Go ahead,” She said while unlocking the front door. “brag. Make fun of your poor sister. One summer in France and you come back fluent? How fair is that? I know you’re supposed to be the brain of the family, but seriously…”


“Oh come on, you’re just jealous.” She said, walking past Buffy and into the house. “Is it my fault if I took three years of French in high school and actually showed up for class? Which is more than you can say. When you finished high school, all you could manage was ‘Je ne parle pas français’”


“Did I say I was glad to see you? I must have lost my mind there for a second.” The grin on her face denied her words. She missed bickering with her younger sibling. They had spoken on the phone once in a while when she was overseas, but it wasn’t the same.


Dawn dropped her backpack by the door and looked around, a glimmer of curiosity lighting up her blue eyes.


“Do I get the grand tour of ‘Casa del Summers’? I’m the only one who hasn’t seen your new house yet.”


Buffy put her arm around her sister’s slender shoulders. “And who’s fault would that be for coming back the day before college started?”


Dawn pretended to analyze the question carefully. “Louis-Philipe’s fault actually. But he was well worth it. He had eyes like the Mediterranean Sea. Too bad he was married with two kids my age. Le salaud.” She blurted out with a straight face.


“What?!”


She giggled, happy with herself for getting the reaction wanted from her big sister.


“Relax. He was 20, single, free of any offspring, and now has a broken heart thanks to me.”


“Shame on you, you man eater.”


“Yep. Man eater, that’s me.”


“Come on. I’ll give you the tour, then you’ll tell me all about your exciting adventures in the country of cheese and bread.”


“Deal.”


Buffy led her sister from one room to another, showing her the painting studio, the two guestrooms, master bedroom, living room…


“Considering the lack of tacky New Kids on the Block posters, am I right to assume Cordelia had something to do with the decoration?”


Buffy pouted. “You’re wrong! We did it together--as a team.“


Dawn gave her a stern look, clearly not believing her.


“Ok. Fine. She welcomed my suggestions--kinda.” She admitted sheepishly.


Dawn loved the house, but what really got her to squeal excitedly was the playroom in the basement, with its entertainment system, pool table and bar, and the backyard.


“Can you imagine the incredible pool parties we could have here! I’ll be the most popular freshman in the history of UCLA!!”


“Whoa. Hold your horses young lady. There will be no frat parties here for as long as I breathe. Got it?”


“I could invite my very hot, young, Italian teacher.” Dawn gave her sister her most dazzling smile, batting her eyelashes innocently.


“Does he speak English?”


They burst out laughing.


Buffy went to the fridge. “Want something to drink, Frenchie?”


“You have ice tea?”


“Yup.”


“With ice. Lots of ice. Pretty please.”


Buffy poured two glasses of ice tea and came to sit in front of Dawn at the table by the pool. The sun had set, but the night was warm and comfortable.


“What brings you here on a week night? Don’t you have school?”


“Nope. It’s a study week. Which brings me to ask if maybe you’d let me stay here for a couple of days? After only three weeks, I already need a break from all the ‘fun’ of the dorm life. I’d go to San Francisco, but you know mom. She’ll make me work at the gallery and keep me busy unpacking old dusty stuff. I’ll never have a minute to relax…” Dawn corrected herself quickly. “I mean study. Of course.”


Buffy snorted. “No problem. I’m sure my pool will be a much more favorable environment for your ‘studying’. But no frat parties, missy.”


“Even if I invite the Italian hunk? I’m sure you’d like him.”


“Sorry to disappoint, but no. Besides, you know that Buffy and dating are totally unmixy things.”


“Does that mean there’s still no romance in your life?”


“That’s exactly what it means. I live the romance free lifestyle, thank you very much.”


“Oh come on! Not even a potential hottie that makes your heart skip a beat and that you could consider as an eventual love interest?”


For a second, the look on Buffy’s face turned dreamy, but she quickly caught herself.


Not quickly enough for Dawn not to notice though.


“I saw that! Buffy Summers. Spill.”


“Give it a rest, Dawn. There’s no one.”


“Fine. Be that way. But I saw. There was definitely ‘a look’. And you know I won’t give up until I find out who the mysterious man who caught your att…”


“So. How was Paris?”


Dawn frowned at the abruptness of her sister. Something was definitely wrong with her and she couldn’t wait to find out what was really going on in that pretty blonde head of hers.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHAPTER 8: Forbidden

A/N: When I wrote this chapter (a while ago), I hadn't seen Euro Trip yet. I swear! Dawn's trip to Paris is just a coincidence inspired by my own trip and the fact that Dawn was so good at foreign languages in the show. But I saw Euro Trip now and it was freaking awesome lol And while I have the chance, I also wanted to thank everybody who reviewed. You guys are the best!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



CHAPTER 8: Forbidden



The red convertible turned into the prison’s parking lot. Buffy stopped to slide her keycard to open the gate. She was tired from spending the night up listening to Dawn’s anecdotes and looking at pictures, but she was happy. She had missed the little devil and it felt good to see her after so long. Even if it meant that she would now have to deal with the headache from Hell and a total lack of efficiency at work today.


Buffy went through the long security process to enter the secure area almost mechanically. She smiled and said good morning to the guards posted there, voluntarily ignoring the lack of sincerity of their tone when they answered her.


The young woman made her way to her office through the maze of corridors, stopping at Harmony’s desk to collect her mail. She was looking through it absentmindedly when she suddenly heard Giles voice coming from somewhere behind her. She stopped what she was doing and waited for him to appear. A few seconds later, he walked by accompanied by another guard.


“Giles. Could you come here for a moment?”


“Yes, of course.” He parted with the other guard and came toward her. “Good morning Buffy.”


“Good morning. Where you on your way to your office?”


“As a matter of fact, no. I was going to the yard. Why do you ask?”


“About Spike, I was wondering if…”


“You don’t have to worry about him, everything has been taken care of while you were taking time off for your injury.”


“What do you mean ‘taken care of‘? Did he get himself into trouble while I was gone?”


Giles seemed genuinely puzzled. “Well… no. I mean…”


Buffy frowned. “Giles? Where IS Spike?”


“You were injured and we didn’t want to upset you any further by asking you what to do with him before you left, so we took it upon ourselves to--do what needed to be done.”


“So what? You thanked him on my behalf?” Buffy was now sensing that something was definitely wrong and she was getting mad.


“Thank him? Whatever do you mean? He was the one who attacked you, wasn’t he?”


“Giles! What have you guys done to Spike?! He’s the one who HELPED me, not attacked me! Are you telling me the poor guy has been in isolation all this time?”


Giles looked down. “Well--yes.”


“Damn it! Go get him and bring him back here. I can’t believe this!”


“After you got injured, the two guards who were with us took the initiative to take him to isolation. They told me what happened later and I approved. If we were mistaken in the prisoner‘s intentions…”


“Right now, I don’t care what happened.” She interrupted. “Get him. We’ll talk about this later.”


She watched him as he left the office in a hurry. She was pissed. She had spent all weekend thinking about what Spike had done and how she wanted to thank him. Who had ever seen a prisoner come to the aid of his warden? He had been so nice to her. And now, he probably thought she was an ungrateful bitch.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


“Dear Lord.” Giles muttered. He sighed deeply while taking in the appearance of the blonde man sitting in front of him in the bare cell. He had dried blood under his nose, and a nasty bruise that was turning interesting shades of green and yellow on the left side of his jaw. He couldn’t sit straight, probably because of some injury.


“Jake! Devon!” He barked angrily.


The two guards who had been chatting a few feet away looked in his direction.


“I rarely approve of your ways, but this time, you went too far. We will probably lose our jobs over this, you idiots! Ms. Summers is already angry enough that Spike was sent to isolation by mistake, when she sees what the bloody hell has been done to him, God knows how she will react.”


“But Rup…” Jake started, but was automatically interrupted by Giles.


“It’s Mr. Giles. I’m your superior here, it would do you well not to forget it.”


Giles had never been this angry in his life. Things were looking up. He didn’t have to put up with the likes of Wilkins and his predecessors anymore. His new boss was a good person who liked her job and he enjoyed being around the girl. But he could tell she was straight as an arrow, had strong morals, and would never stand for mistreatment in her prison. He would be blamed for what these two clowns had done to Spike. And THAT made him angry.


Devon tried to take over the explanation from his chastised friend but Giles wouldn’t have it. “We only did it because he attacked the warden, Mr. Giles.”


“Just how stupid do you think I really am? We both know you don’t give a bloody damn about Ms. Summers. You only used it as an excuse to rough up Spike.”


“But…”


“I don’t want to hear it. Go back to work. And if you think there won’t be any consequences to what you did, you’re sadly mistaken.”


Scared of losing his job, Jake tried to argue with Giles. “Couldn’t you tell her he got injured during the riot? I’m sure she’d buy it!”


“I will not lie to cover your arses, I’m sorry.”


Giles went to the small break room that was there for the use of the guards assigned to the isolation area, and came back with a wet cloth. He walked back into Spike’s cell and tossed him the cloth.


“Clean yourself up, the warden wants to see you. You look like Hell.”


Spike caught the wet cloth and without a word, cleaned the dry blood from his face.


Giles put the handcuffs on the prisoner’s wrists. “Lets go.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Buffy paced restlessly in her office, waiting for Giles to come back with Spike. She didn’t know exactly what to tell the guy. Somehow ‘sorry you spent the last four days alone in a cell the size of a closet for no reason’ didn’t seem to cut it.


Harmony opened the door, letting Spike and Giles walk in. The four of them remained silent for a few moments until Buffy finally sighed. “We’re good Harmony. Thank you.”


She gave the girl a pointed look and Harmony finally took the hint and left. Buffy couldn’t bring herself to look at Spike. He was just standing there, staring straight ahead, his jaw visibly clenched. That’s when she saw the bruise.


“What the Hell…?!” She took a deep calming breath, but her cheeks were turning pink from her anger. “Spike, have a seat and wait for me a minute. Giles, outside. Now.”


“But… You won’t leave him here alone?”


“This won’t take long.” She stepped outside of her office, closely followed by a wary Giles.


“What the fuck happened? He was BEATEN? I don’t know how things were before I got here, but I won’t stand for that kind of behavior in my prison.”


She had left the office door open and could see from the corner of her eye that Spike hadn’t moved to sit. He was still standing rigidly in the middle of the room. She couldn’t blame him for being mad.


“Buffy,” Giles said, trying to keep his voice low so Spike wouldn’t hear, “let’s not talk about this here. It’s not good for the staff to argue in front of the prisoners. It gives them the impression of…”


“I want a staff meeting this afternoon. And you are going to tell me who’s responsible for this.”


“Of course. I regret this took place…”


“I believe you, but that doesn‘t change it.”


She turned to her secretary. “Harmony, contact everyone from security and tell them there will be a staff meeting this afternoon at 4.”


Harmony nodded. For once, she didn’t dare saying anything. She was witnessing a side of Buffy that she had no idea existed.


“All right. Now if you’ll excuse me. Wait in your office Giles, I’ll call you when I want you to take Spike back.”


She returned to her office where Spike was waiting, and closed the door behind her. She was suddenly uncomfortable. This wasn’t the same man she had met a week ago. He seemed so cold, and hostility was rolling off him in waves.


Buffy wasn’t sure what to do. She walked past him and to her desk where a carafe of fresh water was sitting. “Want a glass of water?”


He snorted at her lame attempt at breaking the ice, but didn’t answer.


She poured two glasses anyway and went to sit on the leather couch against the large window that covered one side of her office. She put the glasses down on the coffee table in front of her.


“Come and sit with me, would you? We need to talk.”


“’am perfectly fine standing right here. I just want to know why I’m here, warden, so I can leave.”


“Originally, the reason I called you in here was to say thank you. Now it’s to say I’m sorry.” She answered in a soft voice.


Spike frowned at her unexpected answer, but didn‘t say anything.


“Don’t just stand there. Come here.”


He hesitated.


Buffy sighed and looked away. “I understand. Do you want me to call Giles and ask him to take you back? You missed breakfast already but I’ll make sure you get something to eat… ” She lowered her head. “I’m really sorry Spike.”


When Buffy looked up, he was sitting next to her.


“What is there to be sorry about luv?”


She didn’t answer, just looked at his bruised face. She shook her head slightly in disbelief, not liking the irony of it all. That’s what he got for worrying about her well being?


“God, what have they done? I swear I had no idea. I left right after I regained consciousness. I did ask about you when I came to, but the nurse said ‘he’s been taken care of’ and I never thought to ask her what she meant. Then she put me in a cab and sent me home. I should have told someone about your helping me, but things just got so crazy…”


“Hey now. No worries. You had just hit your head badly. I saw you fly into the bloody wall headfirst. I’m surprised you didn’t have to go to the hospital after that blow. I should have known you were not the one who ordered me to the hole. But I thought maybe you misunderstood my intentions. It’s no big a deal.”


“Yes it is. And it’s not only about you not deserving this treatment. Nobody will get beaten up by prison staff as long as I’m the warden here. That won’t be tolerated. I don’t know for how long this practice has been going on, but it’s stopping now. The guards who did this are getting fired tonight.”


Spike felt torn. He didn’t want to defend the wankers who did this to him, but he also didn’t think he mattered enough for such drastic measures. “They only did it because they thought I hurt you.”


He didn’t expect Buffy to laugh so much at his comment.


“Excuse my language, but these guys don’t give a shit about me, Spike. They used what happened to me as an excuse to do what they wanted; they couldn’t care less about my well being.”


Spike frowned. “Why would you think that? I’m sure you’re doing a fine job and you're a good boss.”


“Oh it’s not about how capable I am. I guess I’m just not what they expected, and they can’t get over the initial shock. Maybe they will, but it will take time before they realize that I’m perfectly competent, and start warming up to me. Anyway, this is not about me. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciated what you did the other day… and again, how sorry I am that things turned out the way they did. It was unfair to you.”


“First, you have nothing to thank me for pet. I did what any respectable man would do when seeing a lady getting hurt. There’s a lack of respectable men in this fine establishment. But I guess that can be explained by the fact that this is a prison.” He winked playfully at her, but then got serious again. “Second, you have no business feeling sorry for me.”


Buffy looked puzzled. “What?”


“You heard me pet. Don’t feel sorry for me. I don’t know how to explain that life sent me here. I’ve always been a good person. I‘ve never even stolen a candy bar, let alone hurt someone. My only mistake was to fall in love with the wrong bird. So I guess I must have done something in a previous life that was pretty bad in order to deserve this. But since I’ve been here, I’ve done things that I’m not proud of. Bruised a lot of faces, got into a lot fights. Usually with wankers who, according to me, deserved it, but it’s not an excuse.”


He tried to reach his glass of water but winced and had to give up because of the pain shooting throughout his torso. Buffy saw that and gave it to him. He took a sip and continued.


“So, sure, I got beaten up for the wrong reason,” he shrugged “but the ‘why’ doesn’t really matter. Every punch I received, I’ve given to someone at one point or another. So a pretty bird like you, with all your morals and conscience, shouldn’t worry herself with feeling sorry for someone like me. There’s enough of me feeling sorry for myself for being here in the first place.”


“So, let me get this straight. You think because you got yourself in a couple of fights, that means you deserve to get beaten up by prison guards? Sorry to say that I don’t follow you here. This is jail, Spike. If you don’t kick some people’s ass, they’ll walk all over you. Defending yourself, or giving a good ass kicking to someone who deserves it, doesn’t make you a bad person.”


“You probably don’t remember but when we met for the first time last week, I vaguely told you about how I got my nickname…”


“You mean how you met your buddy Gunn? Of course I remember. What? You think I don’t pay attention when my favorite prisoner tells me stories?” She smirked at him and he chuckled.


“I’m touched, really.” Spike got more comfortable on the couch, mindful of his sore ribs, before continuing what he was saying. “Anyway, this story took place here. I had been incarcerated about two or three weeks before and I was working with some of the guys on the license plates. That’s where I was assigned before you saved me from that horribly boring job. Thank you by the way. Charles was working with us. Suddenly, for no good reason, these guys started bothering him. There was no way he could have defended himself against the wankers, there were five of them against one. I don’t know what got into me Buffy. I’m sorry, can I call you Buffy?”


“Of course you can.”


“Yeah, so, I don’t know what it was. Maybe it was the unfamiliarity of the violence surrounding me for the three weeks I had been here, or maybe I was just doing some transfer on this guy’s situation. I don’t know. Psychology has never been my strong point. But I became enraged. I could have just jumped into the fight and helped him if I was so concerned with fairness. But no. My eyes landed on a rusted spike on the floor. I have no idea how the thing got there in the first place and believe me, there were weeks of inspection of the facilities after my little stunt. So I grabbed the thing, walked up to one of the guys who was beating on Gunn, and stabbed him. Not with the intention of killing him, but I bloody well stabbed the wanker. I could have killed the guy. If he had moved, or if I had miscalculated my aim, I could have killed him. So you say that doesn’t make me a bad person… Personally, I don’t know anymore.”


“Spike. You reacted to injustice. That’s all. And like you said, a prison is a very different environment and it can affect how people react when they are not used to being surrounded by violence. And I think a nice guy who’s never done anything wrong in his life, will react differently than a drug dealer who’s killed hundreds of people.”


The intensity of his blue eyes observing her made her blush and look away.


“Thank you.”


“For what?”


“Understanding.”


“You know, we’re not all that different you and I.”


“What? We’re both unnaturally blonde?”


“Ha ha, funny. Speak for yourself. Where do you get the bleach anyway?”


“Good connections.“ He gave Buffy one of his sexy smirks. “Gunn’s sister is nice enough to bring me some once in a while. And she brings me the good stuff too. She’s a hairdresser. But, you were saying that we’re not different? How so?”


She smiled wickedly. “I use to beat the shit out of jerks for the sake of justice and fairness… And because it was fun to hear them cry and beg.”


Spike eyed her up and down before asking: “How much do you weight, pet? 80Lbs--when you’re wearing ski boots?”


“Hey! I resent that. I’ll have you know that I use to strike fear in the most fearless of bad guys in my time mister. I was very vicious.”


They both laughed.


“Anyway, that’s how I started working in prison, but I won’t bore you with the story.”


“You won’t bore me. I’m interested.”


Buffy suddenly looked uncomfortable. “You sure?”


“I swear. I want to know.”


“I never told anyone about this. The only person who knows the real reason why I rebelled as a teenager is my friend Cordelia, and it’s only because she was there that day.”


“What happened?”


“I used to be your typical popular girl in school. Tons of so called friends, captain of the cheerleading squad, perfect hair, perfect clothes, permanent plastic smile on my face. I think I even smiled when I slept. I’m sure you get the picture.“


He chuckled at the description.


“I was hanging out with the popular crowd too. I thought my life was perfect. Beginning of high school, a new girl moved to our school. Tara McClay. She was a very shy girl who acted like she didn’t deserve to exist. My friends were nasty to her. It’s so easy to pick on the weak. I talked to Tara sometimes when I’d see her at the library. She was a very nice girl. But whenever my friends would make fun of her, I was too much of a coward to say anything to defend her so I’d just stand by with that stupid smile on my face. If only I had known…“ Buffy remained silent for a moment and looked away, lost in the painful memories.


“Did something bad happen?”


“Turned out, she was abused by her father. One day, I guess he was a little too enthusiastic and miscalculated his punch. It killed her.”


Spike winced sympathetically, but didn’t interrupt her.


“When I showed up at her funeral, half of the school was there, including the bitches who had dedicated their lives to making her miserable. The worst one of them, Judith, even had the nerve to get up and give a speech. She was dressed like she was going to a fashion show, and had one theatrical tear running down her face like she cared. I was so furious that I walked up to her and clocked her right in front of everybody. After that, things went downhill for me. I lost all of my friends, got kicked out of the squad, became one of the school’s freaks. But I didn’t care. Only my friend Cordelia didn’t turn her back on me. I was always caught in fights, usually to defend other people. I ended up at the police station three times. On the third time, the sergeant suggested to my mom that she send me to work part time at the L.A. County prison to teach me a lesson. He had a contact there or something. It was supposed to scare me into behaving, but I liked it and decided that’s what I wanted to do. So… yeah. That’s how I started working in prison.”


They remained silent for a few minutes after she was done talking. Spike had a serious expression on his handsome face. They were closer now. Her voice had been soft as she had shared her memories and Spike had inched closer to hear her. He tilted his head to look at her, and gave her a warm smile.


“You’re amazing.” He said softly.


She shook her head. “I don’t think I am. There’s nothing special about me, really.”


“Are you kidding? I know I’m overstepping the boundaries of the prisoner/warden relationship here, but I’ve never been known to respect boundaries anyway so what the hell. I barely know you, but everything I learn about you amazes me. You’re not only a smart, gorgeous, woman; you also have the most interesting and intriguing personality. Sorry if I’m being too honest but--If things were different, if the circumstances were not what they are, I’d probably be writing horrible poetry about you right now, and trying to figure out a way to ask you out without sounding like too much of a wanker.”


He gave her a shy smile that could have stopped her heart, and before she realized what she was saying, she blurted out:


“If things were different, I’d probably be hoping that you’d ask me out right about now. But life isn’t fair and things are the way they are…”


She said it in such a low voice that she wasn’t even sure if he heard her. She couldn’t bring herself to look into his eyes so she kept her eyes on the handcuffs around his wrists to keep herself grounded into reality.


“All right then.” She said, in a overly perky tone that made her wince. “I guess I should get Giles now.“


Before she knew what was happening, Spike lowered his head and pressed his lips against hers. It was so quick that it was over before she even realized it had happened.


Spike turned white as a ghost when he realized what he had done, his eyes filled with what looked like terror.


“Oh God! I’m so sorry, pet. I don’t know what got into me…”


Reacting on instinct, Buffy pulled his face to her and kissed him. It was a sweet, yet passionate kiss, which ended all too soon. A soft caress of the lips. Tongues brushing lightly against each others, teasing, promising so much more. But as soon as Buffy got control over her raging hormones, she panicked and almost jumped away from him.


This time, they both had similar look of shock on their faces. Time seemed to stand still as they struggled to process what had just happened. The blood that had drained from Buffy’s face was now coming back, making her blush furiously.


She let out a string of “ohgodohgodohgods”, the words muffled by the hand covering her mouth.


Buffy jumped up and started pacing, running shaky fingers through her hair. “I can’t believe I did that! Oh God! What have I done!”


Realizing that Buffy was becoming slightly hysterical and that he had to calm her down, Spike got up and stepped in front of her to stop her pacing.


“Buffy, please calm down. It’s not such a big deal…”


“Not a big deal?! How can you say that?”


“Because it’s not. Please, sit down pet, we’ll talk about it.”


She did as he said and sat back on the couch, but she did not calm down. “It is a big deal Spike! I could lose my job! And--and--what are you gonna think of me? That I’m one of these women who use their position to get away with sexual harassment or something?.. Oh God!!”


Normally, he would have laughed at how irrational and cute she was, but the situation wasn‘t allowing it. “Buffy! Look at me. First of all, that wasn’t sexual harassment. I was the one who bloody well kissed you first, remember? Besides, I would never think anything bad of you. And also, you will not lose your job over this. The only way for that to happen would be for someone to find out, and unless there’s a camera in here, that won’t happen. It’s only you and me here, and I would never tell anyone. Do you believe me?”


She nodded, but no word came out of her mouth.


“I would never hurt you Buffy. And you’d be devastated if you’d lose your job, am I right?”


She nodded again.


“Then I won’t tell any living creature about it. Not even my confessor.”


“… You have a confessor?”


Spike laughed. She smiled weakly.


Buffy leaned back in the couch, closed her eyes and took a deep calming breath.


“Are you feeling better pet?”


“A little. Spike--I just wanted to say--I…I’ve never, you know, done this before. Don‘t go thinking I‘m a giant slut or something.”


“I know luv. Don’t worry, I would never think that.”


“Thank you.”


Spike sighed and smiled sadly at her. “I’m sorry reality had to come crashing back and ruin it because--it was a great kiss.“


They looked into each other’s eyes and Buffy’s breath caught in her throat. She had to get up or she’d end up kissing him again. So she did get up, reluctantly.


She straightened her clothes and smiled at Spike who was still sitting on the couch. “I should call Giles. It’s been too long already. I don’t want him to get suspicious.” She paused briefly, than asked: “Am I still blushing? Do you think he’ll notice something happened?”


“No you’re not. You look smashing. He won’t notice a thing I promise. Just act casual.”


She gave him a warm smile, then went to the phone to call Giles‘ office. Spike stood up and went to sit in the chair in front of her desk to wait for the guard. Buffy noticed he had a sad, faraway look in his blue eyes.


“Spike? Something wrong?”


“It’s nothing. Just… Could you promise me something?”


“Sure. What?”


“Promise me you won’t let things get weird between us, that you won’t avoid me. It meant a lot that you were so kind to me the first time we met… and today. I’d hate to lose that.”


“I promise.”


The door opened and Giles walked in. “Lets go Spike.”


His back to Giles, Spike rolled his eyes dramatically and grimaced for Buffy’s benefit. “Alright Rupert, hold your bloody horses, I’m coming.”


Buffy chuckled, and waved discretely at him as he walked away.


“Oh, and Giles? Take Spike to Anya so she can make sure he‘s all right.”


She waited until Giles closed the door, then went to sit in her chair, her head in her hands.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 9: Heading for a wall?

A/N: I know the Spuffyness takes a long time to come, but I have to keep things realistic enough considering the circumstances. Be patient, there will be more and more Spuffyness from this point on in the story. And don't forget to let me know what you think of this chapter. Even if it's just a line. A couple of words of encouragement is all I need to motivate me to keep writing ;-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CHAPTER 9: Heading for a wall?



Buffy hadn’t moved at all for a good half hour. She was still sitting at her desk, holding her head the way she had been after Giles and Spike left the room. When Harmony walked in without knocking, she didn’t even look up.


“Buffy, Ms. Osbourne is here.”


“Harmony, I.. “


A voice, that wasn‘t Harmony‘s, cut her off before she could get another word out.


“Wow. I knew it was you but--Wow! I can’t believe it. Buffy Summers. I just can’t believe--Did I already say wow?” Harmony kept looking between the grinning red head and the staring Buffy, not understanding what was going on. Then Buffy let out an excited squeal just before running into the red head’s arms.


“Just my luck, I work for a freak.” Harmony snorted before exiting the office.


“Oh. My. God. Willow!” Buffy had tears in her eyes when she pushed Willow at arm length, holding her by her shoulders to look at her. “Saying that you have changed would be an understatement.”


“I could say the same to you Buffy. You look great.”


“So do you.”


They looked at each other and giggled like school girls.


“Damn this is so weird.” Buffy said after she finally calmed down. “It’s been what? Ten years?”


“Almost fourteen.” Willow corrected with a sad smile. “I can’t believe it’s been that long. I remember like it was yesterday. I was so sad when my parents decided to leave L.A. But I thought it wouldn’t be for more than a year and that we would manage to keep in touch somehow. Who would have known it would take them five years to grow out of their hippie phase?”


“So, you were in South America for five years?”


“No. We only stayed there for two months, then we went to Africa. I went to a private school there with other Americans. When my parents got tired of that and we finally moved back, they decided Sunnydale would be a great place to live. I tried to find you, but you moved… Oh Buffy, I missed you so much!”


Buffy hugged Willow again, crushing the poor girl against her.


“Huh… Buff? Blue doesn’t look good on me.”


“What?”


“Can’t. Breath.”


“Oh. Sorry!” She released her. “With all that, I forgot to ask. What are you doing here?”


“Hello? Work here. Didn’t your charming and oh-so-sharp secretary tell you?”


“I think I would remember if she did.”


“I’m the head criminologist here. I do most of the psychological evaluations and sit at the parole board.”


“She told me the head criminologist was… “


“Ms. Osbourne?” Willow grinned. “Duh. I got married.”


“No kidding!”


“Harmony is the only one calling me by my married name. And she usually says it with a touch of disdain. She’s a bit upset that the big geek that I am is married and she’s not.”


“Oh Will, I’m so happy for you! We have so much to catch up on. Let’s get out of here for a few hours so we can talk.”


“Shopping?”


“Shopping!”


They walked out of the office giggling and talking excitedly. Harmony looked up from what she was doing.


“Where are you going?”


“Take my messages Harm, we’re going for lunch and a bit of shopping.”


“Oh.” Harmony looked up, obviously trying hard not to look too hopeful. “Can I come with?”


“… Sorry Harm, but Willow and I haven’t seen each other for years.”


A hurt look flashed across Harmony’s features before she could hide it. She huffed. “Fine. Whatever.”


Buffy was about to leave, but she felt bad for the girl. She gave her a kind smile. “Tell you what. Why don’t we go for drinks tomorrow after work?”


Harmony beamed. “Sure. I could probably help improve your social life.” She looked pointedly at Willow.


Buffy chuckled and shook her head while Willow pulled her along by her sleeve. “This girl’s a work of art, Will.”


“Yep. Not the brightest crayon in the box, but she’s entertaining.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


“Dawn? Dawnie are you home?”


Buffy dropped her stuff carelessly by the door and went to the kitchen. She looked out the window to see if her sister was outside. It was already dark and Dawn was nowhere to be seen. She went to the fridge in case her sister had left a note for her. As expected, there was a note.


Hey sis,
Met people today when I went out for coffee and they invited me to this club called The Bronze. If you feel like it, you can join me there. If not, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.
Love,
Dawn


Buffy sighed and went to her room to change into something more comfortable. She was physically and emotionally exhausted. She had been hoping Dawn would be home. It would have been a distraction from the thoughts that were bouncing around in her head.


Buffy took off her pink shirt and black leather skirt, letting the garments fall to the floor without a second glance. She then put on white boy’s shorts and a white tank top, pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail and made her way downstairs to the basement.


The blonde girl looked around, suddenly feeling lost and lonely. She usually enjoyed silence, but tonight, she found it oppressive. She went to the stereo system and turned it on, then walked to the bar to get herself a drink. She was gonna keep it simple and grab a beer, but opening the mini fridge, the Margarita mix caught her eye and she changed her mind. She pulled out the ice, the mixer, the tequilla and the salt and busied herself making her drink. It kept her mind occupied for a moment and she welcomed the diversion. Too bad it didn’t last.


Going to the couch, she sat down, her legs tucked under her. Buffy tried to keep her mind blank and just listen to the music without thinking. It worked for a while, but too soon, her mind drifter away to places she didn’t want it to go. Changing tactics, she decided to focus on something positive that wouldn’t lead to heartaches.


Her afternoon with Willow had been great. They had been apart for so many years, but it seemed their friendship had survived. Sure they had changed, but in a way, they were both still the same. Especially Willow. She might look much cooler now, but she was still a big lovable geek inside. Buffy had missed her so much. She remembered crying when Willow had left L.A. to go travel the world with her parents. They had known each other since they were three years old. She could still see little Willow in her mind, with her long red pigtails and her green dress, sitting Indian style in the tree house Buffy’s dad had built for them. They were inseparable.


Buffy chuckled when she remembered how they used to hide in the tree to plot against Cordelia. Back then, Cordy was living down the street from them and was an insufferable little princess who would make their lives miserable. With Xander, they even created the ‘We hate Cordelia’ club. Willow almost choked on her latte this afternoon when she learnt that Cordelia and Buffy were now best friends. When Buffy gave her the final blow by adding that Cord married Xander, Willow spat out her coffee.


Buffy got up to get a refill of Margarita. She took the mixer back with her so she wouldn’t have to get up again. She hadn’t had anything to eat all day except for the ice cream she had at the mall, and was really tired, so the alcohol was already getting to her.


She’d had a great time shopping and talking with Willow. But it wasn’t long before her mind had started wandering again to places she’d rather not go. The kiss. Willow noticed but didn’t insist when Buffy obviously did her best to avoid answering. She just couldn’t talk to her about it. Hell, she couldn’t talk to anyone about it. And it was really killing her.


Damn was it ever killing her!


She slowly let herself slide down on the couch until she was sitting on the floor. She tried to put her empty glass on the coffee table, but her aim was a little off and it fell on the carpet. She giggled drunkenly and taking the mixer’s container, she started drinking directly from it. Who cared, she was alone anyway. She had decided that the best solution to her problem was to drink until she wouldn’t think of Spike’s lips anymore. Or, until she passed out. Unconsciousness sounded very good.


How could she be so attracted to a guy she barely knew? This wasn’t like her at all. She had dated guys for months without ever being able to feel anything for them, and yet, there she was, longing for a man she only met a few times. She wondered what the hell was wrong with her. Why did she have to fall for the only guy she really couldn’t have? And the worst part was that even through her panic this morning when she realized what she‘d done, she had still been dying to kiss him again. Her work was the most important thing in her life, and yet, she had been willing to jeopardize everything for one man.


Her eyelids were starting to get heavy and soon, she drifted off to sleep. That’s how Dawn found her when she got back a few hours later. The young girl shook her head when she saw the state her sister was in.


“Damn it Buffy, what the Hell?” She asked, mostly to herself.


She approached her sleeping sister and crouched next to her. Dawn took away the mixer’s container Buffy was hugging in her sleep, and tried to wake her by shaking her shoulder. Buffy groaned, then finally open one eye.


“Mmmm… What?”


“You know, if you wanted to party, you could have joined me at the club instead of drinking by yourself like a big loser.”


“Mnot a loser. Just pathetic.”


“Don’t you have to work in a few hours?”


“I’m the freakin’ warden... I do what I want.” Buffy said, her speech slightly slurred.


“Oh Buffy,” The younger girl said mockingly. “you are such a great example to me. If someone ever asks me where I got my sense of responsibility, your name will definitely come to mind.”


“Pfff. ‘m waaaay responshible. ’m taking the morning off. I’ll stay late, is all. If someone’s not happy with it, they can tell the warden. Oh, wait… that’s me.” Buffy giggled, proud of her cleverness.


“Whatever you say Buff. Let’s get you to bed.”


She helped Buffy up the stairs, and unceremoniously dropped her on her bed.


“Get some sleep. We’ll go out for breakfast tomorrow morning and then I’ll drive you to work.”


“Just an excuse to get the car.” Buffy mumbled, already half asleep. Then, she was gone.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Around 10 am, Dawn walked into Buffy’s room, going straight to the window. She pulled the curtains apart, letting the sun light flow into the room. Buffy yelped and hid under her white duvet.


“Good morning sunshine!” Dawn said while noisily shaking a bottle of Tylenols. “Don’t hide, it’s time to rise and shine and welcome a new day.”


She climbed on the bed and hugged the form of her sister through the duvet. A mumble came from under the covers.


“What was that?”


Buffy pulled the covers from her face. “I said, are you overdosing on Prozac or something?”


“Ha ha, funny. I just figured that in the state you must be in right now, I need to be over joyous in order to even get you out of bed. Let’s go. I’ll start the shower, pick out your outfit, then we’ll go out for breakfast. I met the cutest guy last night--can‘t wait to tell you all about it.”


Buffy pulled the covers back up. Not having it, Dawn attempted to pull her from under there by her foot. A quick pillow fight followed, but it didn’t last. Buffy moaned, holding her painful head.


“Stop it! My head… hurts like a bitch.”


“The shower and Tylenols will help. So stop being stubborn and get out of there. It’s your fault anyway for drinking yourself unconscious.”


“Never again. I promise.”


“Yeah, yeah. Get in the shower and don’t make promises you can’t keep.”


Half an hour later, Buffy was making her way to the car. She was wearing simple black trousers, a gray sleeveless turtleneck and big black sunglasses. Dawn, who was waiting for her leaning on the car, snickered.


“I’m sure no one will notice anything. But don’t take the sunglasses off, cause if your staff sees what your face looks like right now, they’ll run away screaming.”


“Shut up and drive.” Buffy pouted, tossing Dawn the Miata’s keys. She knew her sister’s rule about not getting in a car with her if she was behind the wheel, and she felt too shitty this morning to argue with the brunette.


Dawn drove to the nearest Denny’s in silence. She parked the car and they went inside, finding a boot that was well away from other customers so they could have some privacy. They ordered without even looking at the menu. Breakfast at Denny’s was a tradition for the sisters. Especially when it was time to help with bad cases of hangover.


Dawn fidgeted with her napkin while waiting for the coffees and blueberry pancakes to arrive. She wanted to wait for Buffy to talk first, thinking that she had played ‘annoying Dawn’ enough for the day. Make that for the month. After she got her coffee and took a sip of it, Buffy finally opened her mouth.


“How was your night? Had any fun?”


“It was cool. I liked the place. Too many high school kids though.”


“Weren’t you a high school kid yourself only a few months ago?”


“I’m in College now. I’m a grown up. I don’t hang with kids.”


Buffy snickered. “Sorry, you’re right. You’re the epitome of cool now.”


“Shut up!” Dawn whined playfully.


Buffy finally started relaxing. The headache was getting more bearable. She manage to give Dawn a weak smile. “I’m feeling a bit better. Thanks for getting me out of bed. I really can’t afford to miss an entire day of work. So sorry about the ubber crankiness this morning but yesterday… not such a great day.”


“Did something bad happen at work?”


“No.. Hey, do you know who I’m working with?”


“No. Who?”


“Willow! Do you remember her? We were best friends when we were kid. She left town when she was thirteen.”


“The little red head geek? The one who babysat me that one time and decided that Dante’s Inferno would be a great bedtime story for a five year old?”


“It put you to sleep, didn’t it?”


“Sure did!” Dawn laughed.


“She’s not a geek anymore anyway. She married a rock star.”


“No way! Anyone famous?”


“You know that group that plays a lot these days in L.A.? Dingoes Ate My Baby? He’s the bassist. Oz.”


“Get. OUT! That’s freakin’ awesome! Wow. And what is she doing at the prison?”


“She’s the criminologist.”


“So you guys are gonna be working together a lot then. That’s really great.”


“I know!” Buffy took a bite of her blueberry pancake.


“Who’s Spike?”


Buffy violently choked on her pancake.


Dawn cringed. She had hoped to make Buffy react, but not that much. She was so excited the night before when Buffy had mumbled the name in her sleep. She had put two and two together. First, she found her drunk off her ass, then she said a guy’s name. It was no rocket science. She thought it would be easier to get the story out of her by shocking her. But seeing the reaction, she was starting to feel bad.


Noticing Buffy coughing loudly, the waitress discretely brought her a glass of water.


“Sorry Buff. Didn’t mean to cause a near death experience by saying that name. It’s just that you said ’Spike’ last night after I put you to bed and I wanted to find out who it was. Didn‘t know I‘d almost kill you by doing that.”


“I’m all right.” Buffy said, out of breath. “It’s just the last thing I expected you to ask.”


“Is that why you got drunk last night? Because of that guy?”


“Can we not be talking about this right now?”


“Why?”


“Because I CAN’T talk about this. Not even with you.”


Dawn chose to ignore her and keep asking. “I might tease you a lot, but despite all your issues, you’re still a catch. So why is he not bringing you flowers and bonbons, and taking you out on romantic dates? Is he gay or something?”


Buffy growled menacingly.


“Married? Oh, I know. He’s a dangerous murderer! Or even better, one of your prisoners.”


Buffy turned dangerously white.


“Buffy?..” Dawn’s eyes widened with realization. “You have got to be kidding me. No way! Are you telling me the guy who got you all mushy and pathetic is a prisoner?!”


“Why don’t you publish it in the Sunnydale Post while you’re at it, Dawn.”


“Sorry. But--are you out of your MIND?!”


“Yes, yes that’s exactly it.” Buffy answered in a sarcastic tone. “I forgot to take my medication. That’s why I’m pinning over a convict. Thank you ever so much for pointing that out to me. You’re a great help.”


“Ok. I’ll try to calm down and turn off the judgmental part of my brain for a second so I can try to understand this. But first, I have to ask. He didn’t kill anybody, did he?”


“No. He didn’t.”


“All right. That’s good. What is he in for then?”


Buffy blushed and looked away. “Well, technically--huh--Murder.”


It was Dawn’s turn to spit out her coffee.


“But you just said…”


“He didn’t kill anybody, it was someone else… Or at least, I‘m pretty sure he didn‘t.”


This time, her younger sibling laughed openly in her face.


“Buffy, be serious. You’ve been working in prison for ten fucking years, don’t tell me you believe that shit? Prisons are filled with innocents. That’s common knowledge. No matter how hot he is, you can’t be that naïve? He could be just another psychopath that happens to be really charming and convincing.”


“Are you done being a bitch? Can I talk?”


“Talk. I’ll shut up.”


Buffy sighed. “Did it ever happen to you that someone tells you something completely unbelievable, but you look into their eyes and believe them?”


“Yes. If it’s someone I KNOW. Like for example, if you’d tell me: “Dawn, last night, I ran outside around my house butt naked with a hot pink feather boa around my neck.” I’d believe you because I know you… And you’re INSANE.”


“God, my sister is sooo adorable.”


“I know.” Dawn grinned.


“I have met hot prisoners before you know. Hot prisoners who told me they were innocent. Did I believe them? No. Why? Because they were not innocent. But William… There’s just a sincerity in his eyes, a passion… I don’t know how to explain it, but can you for once trust me on this? I’m not being fooled because of my feelings for him. I swear. And yes, despite the fact that I tend to believe him, I‘m still on my guards just in case.”


“Did you say the word ‘feelings‘? You have feelings? You? Buffy Summers?”


“Well…” Buffy started playing with her food, pushing it around her plate, looking embarrassed. “Not feelings feelings. But… Ya know.”


“Do you realize it’s the first time I ever heard you saying you have feelings for a guy? Ever! Wow. This is more serious than I thought. Why does it have to be about a potential murderer?!.. You didn’t act on it, did you?”


The blonde girl looked away guiltily.


“BUFFY!”


“Dawn, you can never repeat this to anybody, understand? Not even your best friend or mom or… anybody! If someone finds out, I’ll lose my job.”


“I know. I wouldn’t tell anyone. What happened?”


“We kinda kissed yesterday. That’s why I was so upset last night. I don’t know how it happened. It just did. We were talking in my office and, next thing you know, there were lips connecting. And tongues. I know it’s hard for you to believe because you never met him, but I don‘t think he‘s bullshitting me to get his way or anything. The attraction goes both ways.”


“Buffy,” Dawn said softly. “the guy is in for murder. And unless someone proves that he is innocent, he’s guilty. He’s there for life. Nothing good can come out of this. Couldn’t you just fall for the guy next door? Everything has to be complicated with you. What kind of a relationship can you have with a guy who’s stuck in jail until he dies?”


“Well… Do you really wanna hear my crazy plan?”


The brunette sighed heavily. “I probably should answer no, but do tell.”


“Keep in mind that it’s not just because I like him. I want to do this because I think it’s unfair for someone to waste their lives in prison when they haven’t done anything.”


Dawn shook her head. “I have a feeling I won’t like what‘s coming.”


“I want to try to find out more about the guy Spike says is the real murderer. If Spike is lying, I’ll find out one way or another. If he’s saying the truth, then I can maybe try to get some kind of proof that he’s not guilty and possibly get him out of jail.”


“Sounds potentially dangerous. And again with the insanity. Buff, it’s just a guy you know…”


“Just a guy?! It’s not just a guy, it’s a human being. I told you it’s not because I like him, it’s because it’s unfair. What if it was you, huh? What if someone killed a friend of yours and made it look like it was you who did it? Wouldn’t you like it if someone cared enough to get you out of jail?”


“I see your point, but it’s still dangerous.”


“I know, Dawnie. But knowing that someone in my prison is innocent goes against everything I believe in. I couldn’t live with myself if I don’t at least try to do something. Of course, it helps that he‘s the most gorgeous guy I‘ve ever seen, he‘s smart, funny, sensitive and turns me into a puddle of goo every time I see him…” She added with a wicked grin.


Dawn took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Despite her disapproving, there was some kind of understanding in her blue eyes when she looked at her sister.


She knew her well. They had lived on their own, just the two of them, the year their mom had been sick. That time alone together had brought them so close that they knew everything there was to know about each other. And Dawn knew that Buffy was the type of person who always, ALWAYS, did the right thing.


She often thought that if she ever decided to write a comic book, she’d use Buffy as a model for her superhero. The girl always had someone she wanted to save and when she’d set her mind on something, Dawn knew Buffy would not give up no matter what she said.


“Buffy, you know I love you more than anything, right? You and mom are my entire world. When I found out mom had brain cancer and she had to go to that private clinic in Boston, I felt like the world was falling down around us. I was so scared. But I had you. We had each other. We went through some tough times together and you became so important to me. I just don’t want you to get hurt. Physically or emotionally. And now I’m seeing you heading straight for the concrete wall at full speed and it frightens me. My heart wants to think that it’s so romantic and sweet and you‘ll get your happy ending somehow. But my head warns me that it will most likely end with tears and pain. I don‘t want that for you. I just want you to be happy. Promise me you‘ll be careful and you won‘t do anything stupid.”


Buffy had tears in her eyes when she finally looked up at her sister. “Don’t worry about me, Dawnie. I promise you nothing bad will happen. I‘ll be careful.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Chapter 10: Journal of a convict

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A/N: Just wanted to take a second to thank everybody for your reviews. Means a lot to me. I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story just as much.



CHAPTER 10: Journal of a convict



"Stop giving him the evil look of death. Spike would never do something like that. He's like a Jedi. He's a pure soul betrayed by society, a hero wasting away in this unholy place because of a cruel twist of fate."


Jonathan glared at his friend who had a dreamy look on his face, "Yeah? Well, Darth Vader was a Jedi too. Didn't stop him from turning to the dark side of the Force, did it."


Andrew huffed, clearly insulted, "Darth Vader was an idiot."


"Darth Vader was cool, you moron!"


"Never as cool as Spike, you brain dead!!"


"At least, Darth never hit Leia, or any woman!" Jonathan yelled back.


"He did too! Or at least, if he didn't, he got someone to do it for him. Spike didn't hit the warden."


Jonathan pinched him.


"Ouch! You freak!" Andrew slapped the shorter boy upside the head.


"Hey! Quit it!!"


The two bickering boys got silent when Spike walked by, on his way out of the cafeteria with his friend Gunn.


"Spike! Wait up!"


Andrew walked quickly to where Spike was standing, pulling Jonathan along with him.


"Oh bollocks," Spike rolled his eyes and kept walking, "Go away."


"Come on, Spike, wait… Is it true?"


"What?" he asked, still walking.


"Is it true you beat up the warden? Everybody says…"


"I bloody well did not!" Angry, the blonde man stormed off, closely followed by Gunn.


Andrew turned to give Jonathan a smug look, "See? Told you so!"


"Fine. Whatever."


Gunn trotted behind his angry friend, "Spike. Come on man, chill. What's the deal with you anyway?"


Spike stopped abruptly and turned to face the taller man, "What's the deal? What's the DEAL? Let me tell you what the bleeding deal is, mate. Every wanker in the place has been giving me the thumbs up since yesterday afternoon. They all think I beat up Bu… Ms. Summers, a woman who's half my size, and they praise me for it. It sickens me. They think I'm the kind of man who would send a woman flying into a wall. Bloody hell, they think I'm the kind of man who would put a bullet into a woman's heart. When did this happen, Gunn? When did my life get turned so upside down and inside out that people would think me capable of such a thing? When did this happen? That's not me. I'm not like that."


"Hey, don’t sweat it buddy. These guys don’t matter. They don’t know you."


Spike looked away, his inner turmoil written plainly on his face, "Nobody knows me. I'm not even sure I know myself anymore. I can't deal with this, Charles. I--I just can't deal." He started walking away.


"Spike! Where are you going?"


He didn't stop, "Library. I'm late for my shift.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


It was getting late, and there were only two guys left in the library. Not your typical bookworms, but they were quietly reading their porn magazines, only exchanging a comment once in a while.


Spike appreciated the peaceful moment. These were a rare luxury at the prison. He needed the time to organize his thoughts. Quality solitary moments were one of the things he missed the most about freedom. Well, that, and spicy chicken wings. The warden had no idea how happy she made him by assigning him to the library. With most of the prisoners having no interest in books whatsoever, it was usually the quietest place in Sunnydale's prison.


It wasn't the most impressive book collection-mostly donations from Sunnydale's libraries-but to Spike who grew up surrounded by books, it was heaven. Ten or so bookshelves, five tables with ratty old chairs that looked like they had been pulled out of a dumpster, and five study rooms, made up what they called the library. The prison was offering classes to keep the convicts busy, and they used these rooms to work on their assignments.


Spike pulled out a small notebook from the back pocket of his pants. It was a gift from Charles’ sister. That girl was an angel. Spike had no one visiting him, no one bringing him anything. He had been going insane without anything to write on, so she had brought him a leather bound journal and a smaller, matching, notepad.


Spike's only family was his father, Ethan, and he had abandoned his son to his fate completely. The man's only worry when he had found out about his son's troubles was about the consequences on his own reputation. He never even showed up in court to show William some support. There was only one phone call, and it was basically to tell him that he wasn't his son anymore.


Spike sat behind the counter and started scribbling away in his pad. Writing had always been his way of keeping his sanity. It had helped him through the worst moments of his life. Angel and Darla had teased him relentlessly about it, but he didn't give a bloody damn if they thought he was a nancy boy. Well, considering the turn of events, maybe he should have given a damn. He probably shouldn't have let them see that he was a hopeless romantic fool. By doing so, he had only given them the perfect victim for their evil machinations, but that didn't matter anymore now, did it.


He tried to find coherent words to describe what happened the day before, but it seemed like an impossible task. He wasn't even sure if he was writing a story that came right out of his fantasist mind, a poem, his thoughts… It was a little bit of everything.


Buffy's beauty, her strength, the sharpness of her mind. How relieved he had been when he found out she hadn't known about him being locked up in isolation. The fear that coursed through his veins the second he realized he had just kissed her. And most of all, the explosion of emotions he had felt when she kissed him back.



She tasted like a perfect summer day. Ripe strawberries, juicy watermelon, refreshing lemonade. I could almost feel the warmth of the sun on my skin, and the coolness of the freshly cut grass underneath my bare feet. In a matter of seconds, she took me away from here and made me travel half way across the world to a place I never knew existed. I felt the incredible urge to pray and beg whichever God is looking over us, to let me stay there forever. But then reality came crashing back on us and left me broken and with the strong desire to weep.



Spike looked up when one of the guys laughed and made a lewd comment. He pointed something out in the magazine he was reading and the other guy laughed too. Then the quiet settled once more and Spike went back to his writing.



How am I supposed not to want this again? It's like offering a sip of fresh water to a man dying of thirst, then taking the glass away from him. I almost regret she walked into my life. I was getting used to my misery before she came along, almost comfortable with it. But it now seems unbearable to me. Is life done playing games with me? Everything I've ever had has been taken away. Isn't that enough? Why taunt me in such a cruel way as to let me meet the perfect woman at the worst possible time of my life? I barely know her, and yet it feels like I do. And the ironic thing is, she seems to be feeling the same way. But what hurts the most is that she probably regrets that brief moment between us with all her heart right now. She's probably afraid that somehow, the word will get out. I can only hope that she knows in her heart that I wouldn't betray her confidence and that this kiss will remain between us.



"Did I ever tell you how I find that writers are useless members of society that only give people more reasons to waste time with their nose in books?"


Spike looked up to see his cell mate standing in front of the counter, a disgusted look twisting his already unappealing features.


"Did I ever tell you how I enjoy scraping midgets' faces against brick walls? I'd be worried if I were you, Snyder, you're pretty damn short."


"You can't get me with threats, Spikey. I've been a high school principal before ending up in jail. I've mastered the art of threats a long time ago."


"And I've mastered the art of putting threats to execution a long time ago. Now be a good troll and bugger off before I get really cross with you and decide to kill you in your sleep."


"Stupid, idiotic, bleached, psycho freak," Snyder mumbled while walking away. "You're a threat to society, Spike, and a waste of perfectly good living space. That's all I have to say about it."


"Yeah, yeah, love you too. Troll."


Spike shook his head, annoyed at the interruption,


**Where was I? Oh, yeah…**



…but despite everything, despite how wrong it is and how much it could potentially hurt both of us--God, I can't help but hope that I'll see her again.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Chapter 11: Sightseeing tour


A/N: Aren't these little A/N annoying? lol But it's like commercials on TV: you can't escape them. Come on, you know what I want.... Do I really need to ask? Reviews!

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CHAPTER 11: Sightseeing tour


Her kitten heels clacked rhythmically on the well polished floor as Buffy made her way to the security guards lunchroom. She was well rested, in a good mood after spending the weekend with Dawn, and determined to make the most of her morning. She usually avoided the guards’ lunchroom because of the slight tension between her and her employees, but she wanted to say hello to Giles, and that’s where Harmony said she’d find him.


She composed her best “friendly boss” face, then walked in. Giles was sitting at a table, reading a news paper, while two of the guys where getting coffee from the vending machine. The two guards saw her, then walked out of the room. They brushed past her without as much as a look. They were obviously still not forgiving her for suspending Jake and Devon. Well, if they wanted to blame her for doing her job, too bad. They’d just have to get used to working for a warden who wasn’t corrupt.


Giles looked up from his reading and smiled.


“Looky, I walk in and the place clears up. Am I the most popular girl in the building or what?” she sat in front of him.


“Blubbering idiots they all are. Don’t pay attention.”


Buffy tilted her head to observe Giles, an amused grin forming on her lips. “You look tired Giles. Didn’t sleep well this weekend? Tell me, how was that date with Anya?”


She laughed when he blushed. He took off his glasses, a nervous habit she’d noticed he had.


“It went--rather well, I must say.”


“I still can’t believe you let her chose where you guys were going. I’m impressed, Giles. Knowing the girl, I’d say that was really daring of you. Where did she take you anyway? A strip club?”


He put his glasses back on his nose and tried to look dignified despite what he was about to say. “To a--wrestling show.”


Buffy went hysterical. She laughed so hard that tears were running down her face. She finally managed to calm down. “Please, tell me you’re kidding?”


“Surprisingly, I’m not. But I must say that after two or three lagers, I did enjoy myself. And it turned out that watching sweaty barbarian looking men rolling around on the ring together, puts Anya in a really good mood.”


“Hence the dark circles under your eyes?”


“Precisely.”


Buffy cracked up again, incapable of keeping serious. “Oh God, that’s too good! Well at least one of us is getting some action.”


Giles turned even more red at her comment.


“Yes, well, when you’re done laughing at my expense…” His words were scolding her, but he couldn‘t hold back the happy grin that was lighting up his face.


“Sorry, Giles.“ Buffy took a deep breath. “I‘m calm now, promise.” She got up. “Other than to tease you, there’s actually a reason why I’m here. My friend Cordelia is coming here this afternoon and I’d like to take her for a tour of the place. She’ll be here around 1:30. Could you have an escort ready for us? I‘ll need maybe two guards--no, make it three. Cordelia is kinda hot.”


Giles chuckled. “That’s not a problem, Buffy. I’ll have Faith, Ron and Dave to come with you. Faith is starting her shift at 1pm so I’ll just keep her around until then, and I’ll make sure the other two will be available In time.”


“That’s cool. Faith isn’t too much of a bitch when you get to know her. And Ron and Dave--they’re the nice ones, right?”


“Yes, they are. They like you so I’ll feel better knowing you’re with them. I would go, but I have to train a new guy this afternoon. Perhaps I could call him to reschedule if you‘d prefer.”


“No, don’t worry. That won’t be necessary. We’ll be all right. I’ll call you when my friend gets here.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Buffy was sitting comfortably on her couch with her shoes off, trying to concentrate on a file. She had to attend the parole board in the afternoon to study a case and having nothing else to do until Cordelia got there, she decided to take a look at it. She was starting to get bored when harmony walked in.


“Ms. Chase-Harris is here. Can I bring her in?”


Buffy looked between Cordelia who had already walked in, and Harmony who seemed to be waiting for an answer. “She’s… already in, Harm. But--huh--thanks anyway. That‘d be all.”


“All right then. If you need anything, I’ll be at my desk.”


“That’s--great. I’ll make sure to call you.”


Harmony closed the door, leaving the two girls alone.


“Ok. What’s with the poodle?”


“She made an attempt at curling her hair this morning. I think she didn’t get the result she was hoping for.”


“I wasn’t talking about the hair, I was talking about the IQ. But thanks for answering my next question.”


“Harm is harmless.” They both giggled at how funny that sounded. “You get used to her after a while. She’s actually quite entertaining. If I’m down, or just plain bored, I go and try to have a conversation with her for five minutes. I always come back to my office feeling so much better.”


“You don’t say.” Cordelia laughed. “Speaking of office…”


The brunette gave her surroundings an appreciative look. “Quite posh if I can say so myself. Not crazy about the sky blue of the walls though. I’d suggest a light green. Green goes well with your complexion so you’d look stunning sitting in that big leather chair of yours. Oh, and I have this great painting at home that would look awesome on this wall over there. And…”


“Cordy!” Buffy interrupted her, clearly amused. “My office is your canvas, oh great master of everything pretty and tasteful. Do whatever you want with it.”


“Really? Cause this place has huge potential. I could go nuts in here.”


“Go nuts, have fun.”


“Awesome! I’ll come back maybe next week or the one after if work permits. You won’t recognize the place. You won’t want to leave work anymore. It’s gonna be fabulous. It’s gonna be…”


“Is that Chinese food in your bag?”


Cordelia opened her eyes wide, not sure what Buffy was talking about, then looked down at the bag she was holding. “Oh. Yes. Yes, it’s food. Let’s eat.”


Buffy smiled and shook her head. Her friend was so enthusiastic whenever decoration or fashion was concerned that she could talk about it for hours and lose track of what was going on around her.


They set up the food on the coffee table and sat down to enjoy it. Buffy fought Cordelia for the pineapple chicken and won. She started eating voraciously.


“Oh God, this is soooo good. I was starving.”


Cordelia pouted. “You better leave some of that chicken for me, you ogre, or else your office will stay the way it Is.”


Buffy rolled her eyes and handed her the chicken container then took a bite off a spring roll. “So, how’s my little cutie pie going?”


“I’m doing great.”


“Not you doofus. Camille.”


“Relentlessly asking about you.” Cordelia said with a heavy sigh. She mimicked a high pitched voice, trying to imitate her daughter. “Mooommy? When are we gonna see auntie Buffy? Huh? When? Is auntie Buffy coming to see us? How many nightie nights before we visit auntie Buffy moooommy? I miss her!”


“Awww! Poor Cam. She’s so used to having me over at your place almost everyday, it must be hard for her to understand. I’ll visit soon, I promise. Maybe I could take her with me for the weekend. Give you and Xander some quality alone time.”


“That’d be great. She misses her godmother and I miss Xander.” Cordy frowned lightly. “He works like crazy and is tired all the time. Forget about his husband duties, he’s way too exhausted for that.”


“You mean the cleaning and the cooking?” Buffy asked, innocently.


“Ha, ha, funny. I’m horny as hell. He started last night, and fell asleep on top of me. I should have gone with my first idea and go on top. Do you have any idea how heavy a construction worker can be? Anyway, I had to finish the job myself. Damn, I’m actually looking forward to seeing a couple of rugged, prisoners. Can we stop by the work out area and look at the hot sweaty ones?” She batted her eyelashes at Buffy. “Please?”


Buffy chuckled and shoved a piece of chicken in her mouth. “Whatever you want, Cor. But I’m telling Xander you said that.”


“Don’t you dare!”


They both laughed and finished their lunch, just enjoying each other’s company. Then Buffy called Giles and he sent the guards to Buffy’s office.


There was a knock on the door.


“Come in.”


A tall, tough looking brunette in uniform walked through the door, followed by two other guards.


“Yo boss, how’s it going?”


“I’m cool, Faith. How are you?”


“Bitchin’.” She cracked her knuckles, making Cordelia wince. “Ready to whack some prison boys upside the head if they come anywhere near one of you girls.”


Cordelia gave Buffy a look, but the warden just shrugged. The two other guys chuckled and snorted when they saw the shocked look on Cordy’s face.


“Don’t worry about Faith, ma‘am,” the tallest one said “she’s not dangerous. Well… unless you’re a con an you’re not behaving.”


“Yeah, I can be quite the bitch. A girl’s gotta earn some respect around here if she wants to survive. Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?”


They all left the office. Cordelia elbowed Buffy and whispered in her ear. “What’s the deal with that girl? Does she get testosterone shots or does prison do that to all women who work here for too long? Are you gonna turn like that?”


“That’s just the way Faith is. But I kinda like her. She looks after me and isn’t afraid to stand up for me. I appreciate that. I wasn’t so sure about having a female guard at first, but she really can hold her own. She has quite the reputation and the prisoners respect her.”


“No kidding. They’re probably scared of her.”


Cordelia had never been in a prison so Buffy showed her everything, explaining what was what and introducing her to people. They reached the open space that was the work out area Cordy had been asking about earlier.


“Wanted sweaty men?” Buffy whispered in Cordelia’s ear. “Here they are.”


“I think I specified hot sweaty men.”


“Well, if you’re gonna be difficult…”


Buffy spotted Spike. He was lying on the bench press, shirtless, sweat making his muscular torso look sleek and well defined. Faith noticed him too.


“Damn that’s a fine piece of man. The things I would do to that guy if I had the chance…” The brunette said under her breath.


Buffy turned sharply to look at her, barely controlling the urge to tell her to back off. She managed to give her a tight smile.


“A wise woman once told me ‘don’t ogle prisoners’.” Cordelia gave Buffy a questioning look but the blonde girl merely smiled. “I think that was one great piece of advice that you should follow too.. For your own good I mean.”


“Hey boss, don’t worry, just looking. That job can be a drag sometimes if you don’t have yourself a little look once in a while, don’t you think?”


She winked at Buffy, not noticing how the blonde girl gritted her teeth.


The group started to walk out of the room but Buffy stopped them.


“Wait for me outside, I’ll be right there.”


“Want me to stay with you, B?”


“No, Faith, I’ll only be a second.”


They all walked away, and Buffy made her way to the other end of the room, pretending to have to check on something. She made sure to say a word to two or three guys on the way so it wouldn‘t look too strange when she‘d talk to Spike. When she came back, she stopped by where he was sitting on the bench press. He had been looking at her.


Buffy made sure to keep a neutral expression not to attract any unwanted attention.


“Just so we’re clear…” She said in a voice low enough that nobody else would hear, “I haven’t been avoiding you. I just haven’t found a good reason to justify seeing you yet.”


His lips didn’t smile, but his eyes did. He just nodded, realizing that it would look suspicious if they seemed too friendly. She walked away. She could almost feel his eyes on her as she left the room.


She joined the others who were waiting for her outside.


“All taken care off.” She said with a bright smile. “Let’s go now.”


Cordelia kept giving her sideway glances as they walked, but Buffy ignored her. They passed through security and the two of them went back to Buffy’s office.


“So…” Cordelia started, her voice dragging. “I can see what the fuss was all about.”


Buffy looked up, her eyes full of incomprehension. “Fuss?”


“Bleached blonde, blue eyes, pouty lips, body to die for, smoking hot… staring at you with puppy dog eyes. That’s the guy, right?”


Buffy turned bright red. “No idea what you’re talking about.”


“Liar. I’m sure he was the one you were talking about the other day.”


“Oh. Him? I don’t know. Was he in there? I didn’t notice.”


“Yeah right. If YOU haven’t noticed, just call me Sister Cordelia and spank me. I saw the way you snapped at Faith in there for making that comment.”


“I did not!”


“Sure you did. You’re lucky she probably assumed it’s because you don’t want your employees to have too much fun with the prisoners. Why did you go back in there by the way?”


“Nothing. I just--wanted to check something.”


“Sure you didn’t go back to compliment Adonis on his toned body?”


“You’re such a freak, Cord. We’re not all like you, you know.” Buffy pouted exaggeratedly and silently hoped that Cordelia would let it go.


Cordelia laughed. “Oh come on. Stop blushing like a school girl. Nobody can blame you for drooling over that guy. He made me want to stay in prison for Christ sake. Too bad you can’t have him though. That’s a real shame cause the way he was looking at you…”


“He was probably looking at me the way a prisoner looks at his warden: with contempt and hatred.”


Cordelia just rolled her eyes. “Whatever you say, blondie.” She grabbed her purse and started making her way to the door. “I have a couple of potential clients to meet in town this afternoon, but I’ll meet you at your place later. What time will you be out of here?”


“6ish.”


“I’ll stop by the grocery store and buy stuff we can cook on the grill outside.”


“Sounds like a plan to me. Do you need someone to escort you out?”


“I’ll be fine.” Cordelia said, blowing her a kiss. “See you later.”


Buffy felt almost relieved when her friend left. She had felt so guilty for not telling her the truth about Spike. But Cordelia would have screamed and call her a dumb ass, then she would have spent the next two hours telling her all the reasons why kissing Spike had been a bad idea. And how wanting to see him again was an even worst idea. She didn’t feel like hearing that right now, didn’t want someone to try to convince her that what she was doing was stupid. She knew it was. She just didn’t care so much anymore. She wanted that guy more than she’d ever want anything in her life and the last thing she wanted to do was being reasonable.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Buffy got back to her office after her session at the parole board. The parole had been denied, and the guy didn’t take it well. She was exhausted. She was tidying up her desk and getting ready to leave when the door opened and a smirking Spike was roughly pushed inside by Giles.


“What’s going on?” She asked, surprised. Her eyes kept darting between Spike who had a smug look on his face, and Giles who looked pissed beyond the telling of it. “What did he do?”


“You heard the lady, Spike. Why don’t you explain to her what you did?”


“I walked up to Parker and broke his nose. Or at least, it sounded like it broke. Can’t be too sure though.”


Conveniently, someone called Giles on his walkie talkie. The timing couldn’t have been better.


“I’m sorry. I’ll be right back.” He walked out, closing the door behind him.


“What the Hell did you do that for?” Buffy got up and walked around her desk to face Spike. He had instantly dropped the though guy attitude he was putting on for Giles’ benefit and now looked like the man she had kissed a week ago.


He shrugged. “You said you hadn’t been able to come up with a reason to see me yet. So I gave you one.”


Buffy couldn’t help the smile that was tugging at her lips. “And why Parker?”


Spike smiled back at her. “You can never go wrong with Parker. He always deserves a good punch in the nose. I‘m sure he did something bad today. I just don't happen to know exactly what it is.”


Her grin grew wider. “You’re impossible.”


“Yeah. I know.”


They looked into each other’s eyes for a few moments until Buffy finally said “Oh fuck it!” and crossed the few steps that were still separating them.


Their lips met for a passionate kiss. His bound hands automatically came up to cup her face. That was the best he could do with the handcuffs around his wrists.


Buffy was scared of getting caught, but that only made it taste better. There was some desperation behind the act, but also tenderness and all kinds of emotions that couldn’t be described. They tried to take whatever they could from each other in the little time they were allowed. The kiss only lasted a couple of minutes, and it wasn’t enough, but they both knew they had to end it soon. They let their tongues duel for a few moments, both reluctant to stop even though they knew they should. It was too good to give it up, but they finally pulled apart. As soon as they did, they missed the other’s taste but there was nothing they could do about it. Giles would come back soon.


Her forehead still touching his, Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep shaky breath to try to regain her senses.


“Next time, I’ll make sure to tell Giles I need time alone with you to give you a long speech on how to behave correctly in a prison. And I’ll lock the door.”


“Yes. That’d be best. I wish I could have time to just sit with you for a while and find out more about you, pet.”


“Me too. This situation sucks beyond words.”


“I thought…“ He hesitated, looking embarrassed at his own insecurities. “I thought you’d changed your mind and didn’t want to see me again. Decided I wasn’t worth the trouble. I was going crazy. It’s been the longest bloody week of my life.”


“I know. I missed you, but I didn’t know what to do. I spent the week fighting with myself about how wrong this is. And even if I wanted to see you, I just couldn’t find a way. I’ll try being more clever from now on so it doesn’t take as long.”


Spike smirked. “You better. I can’t go around punching people for no reasons all the time.”


Buffy frowned. “You know I’ll have to do something about this now, right? If I just let it slide, people will start asking questions.”


“I know, luv, but it was worth it. Just send me to the hole for a couple of days, I don’t mind one bit. I’ll use the peace and quiet to replay that kiss in my mind. Besides, my cellmate snores so it’ll be good to spend a few nights alone without the little rat.”


Buffy heard someone behind the door and took two quick steps back to put a decent distance between Spike and her.


Giles walked in.


“Sorry about that, Buffy. There was an emergency.”


“Anything I should worry about?”


“No. Nothing like that. It was a false alarm.”


“All right.” Buffy nodded toward Spike. “Take him to the hole for a good two days. He obviously can’t be around people. It might do him some good to be isolated for a while.”


Giles took Spike’s arm and guided him out of the office. Spike turned his head to look at Buffy one last time. She mouthed the word “sorry” and he gave her a quick smile before disappearing into the hallway.


She sighed and hung her head.


“Was that William Rayne I just saw walking out of your office?”


Buffy looked up. Willow was standing in her doorway.


“Hi Will. Yes, it was Spike. Why?”


“Nothing. It’s just that this boy gives me the hardest time whenever we have a session together.”


Buffy looked surprised. “Really? I’ve never had a problem with him. Other prisoners have problems with him, obviously, since he was in my office, but he’s always been really nice and respectful to me.”


She went to sit at her desk and invited Willow to take a seat too.


“I’m not saying he’s mean or rude or anything. But he’s… Difficult.”


“What do you mean?”


Buffy was starting to worry. **What is it? Does he have a split personality or something and I was too naïve and blinded by his hotness to see it?**


“I’m really good at what I do, or at least, I like to think so.” Willow explained. “And yet, I’ve never been able to get a word out of him. He’s the absolute master of answering a question with a question, changing the subject, or distracting me until I forget what question I asked. He won’t say a word about himself, no matter what I try.”


“I don’t know what to say, Will. That just doesn’t sound like the guy I met.”


“I tried something different the other day. I tried having a conversation with him about trivial stuff. He was a completely different person. He sounded very well educated, smart, funny, almost outgoing. Then I asked him something personal, and he shut down like a clam.”


Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. She had been worried for a second that Willow would tell her Spike was a psychopath. But he probably just didn’t want to tell the criminologist about his private life and his past.


“He probably just has a hard time opening up to people, is all.”


“But you said he wasn’t like that with you.”


“I don’t know what to tell you, Will. He did tell me a little bit about his past, but that doesn’t mean we have a special connection or anything. He was probably just in a good mood that day…”


The redhead’s face lit up. “Do you think you could sit in with us tomorrow? I have a session with him in the afternoon. It would be great to have a second opinion.”


Buffy thought about it. First, that would get Spike out of the hole for an hour, second, she’d get to see him twice in twenty four hours. And as a bonus, she’d get to know a little more about him.


“Sure.” She answered with her brightest smile. “Not a problem at all. Tell me what time, and I’ll be there.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Chapter 12: Couch Confessions

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CHAPTER 12: Couch confessions


The man who walked into Willow’s office was not the man Buffy knew, or thought she knew. He had a smug smile on his face and an arrogant swagger to his step. Despite the handcuffs on his wrists, he walked in like he owned the place. He slouched on the chair in front of the two women, legs spread wide in a defiant manner.


Buffy wasn’t duped by the mask though. She had worn it quite a few times in the past when confronted to a situation she wasn’t sure she could handle, not wanting to show her weakness and vulnerability. It was fairly obvious to her what Spike was doing.


Willow had arranged three chairs on the other side of her desk so they would be facing each other in a more intimate way, instead of having the huge wooden desk separating them. She had been hoping the friendlier settings would prompt Spike to open up to them. It was now painfully clear that her tactic wouldn’t work.


Spike raised a cocky eyebrow at the criminologist, barely sparing Buffy a glance. “Long time no see, pet. I was starting to think you don’t like me very much. Bloody hurt my feelings, it did.”


“Hello William. How are you doing?” Willow asked, ignoring his sarcastic comment.


“Right then,” He said without answering her. “Are we done with the niceties and all that rubbish? Can I go now?”


Spike’s attitude and the hostility he was projecting was bothering Buffy more than she‘d like. He wasn’t acknowledging her, choosing to focus on Willow instead. Willow who was now giving Buffy a look that clearly said: “See what I meant?!”


“No. Not yet.” The redhead answered him. She was trying her best to look professional and in control of the situation, but she was quickly losing the fight under Spike’s intense stare. “I was hoping we could have a talk.”


Spike tilted his head toward Buffy, but his eyes never left Willow. “Ganging up on me now? Why are you so determined to get me to ‘talk’ anyway, Red? You’re making us both waste precious time. I was perfectly happy in my hole, staring at the bleeding wall and day dreaming about nice things.”


“We are not ganging up on you, William…”


“It’s Spike. You know that.”


Willow ignored the comment and kept talking. “Ms. Summers will be sitting in, not participating. And this is not a waste of your time or my time. These evaluations are necessary, and I think talking to someone else about you and your past could help you deal with…”


“Don’t need your bloody help, all right? I’m dealing with my problems on my own. I don’t need someone who doesn’t give a bleedin’ damn about me to pretend to care. So if we’re about done here, ducks, you can have the guards escort me back to isolation.” Spike started getting up from the chair.


“Sit. Down.” Buffy held his eyes for a few stretching moments.


Willow was clutching her clip board, looking somewhat uncomfortable at the sudden tension in the room. Something was happening between the two blondes now engaged in a staring contest. She couldn’t tell what it was, but she was getting the definite feeling that she didn’t belong in the room with them.


You could hear the seconds ticking away on the office’s clock, the only thing breaking the heavy silence.


Spike slowly sat back down, his stormy eyes never leaving Buffy’s.


Not looking away either, Buffy addressed Willow in a tone that didn’t give her any option but to obey. “Willow, could you leave us for a little while. Go grab a cup of coffee or something. Come back in about half an hour.”


Willow merely nodded, and after handing Buffy her little digital voice recorder, she left the room without a word.


Buffy turned the thing off and put it on the desk behind her. Willow would have to live without hearing the conversation that was soon to follow. She pulled her chair up until she was sitting knee to knee with Spike.


She waited a few more seconds before finally speaking. “I don’t understand what the Hell got into you. Why are you acting this way?”


“What? Can you really blame me for refusing to spill my guts in front of someone who gives bugger all about me? Someone who will study my case as if I were some kind of lab rat? I’m sorry if I disappoint, but I usually chose who I want to talk to.”


He was right, she couldn’t blame him. She understood what he meant, and when she spoke again, she wasn’t as angry anymore. “Spike, you didn’t even give her a chance. I know how you feel, but Willow is a nice, caring person. And she’s really good at her job. She could help you, you know.”


Spike laughed, but it was a humorless sound.


“No one can help me, Buffy.”


“Have you so little faith left in people that you can’t believe someone might actually want to help you?”


She couldn’t speak for Willow, but she knew she wanted to help him… More than he’d ever know. But he wasn’t in the mood to hear that right then.


“And have you conveniently forgotten that I’m in here for life? Cause I haven’t.” He said, his voice laced with bitterness. “I was there when the judge sentenced me to prison for life with no chance of parole. Not the sort of thing you forget easily, pet.”


“Spike…”


“So what is Red gonna do exactly that could possibly help me? I’ll tell her ‘I didn’t do it’, she’ll write on her little clip board somewhere between all the doodles she must be doing while pretending to listen: ‘delusional’ or maybe even ‘pathological liar’--then what?.. I’ll tell you what. Nothing. Because there is nothing she can do, or will do for me.”


“You still need to talk to someone, Spike.”


“I don’t see why.” He said stubbornly.


“All the bad things that happened--if you keep it all to yourself, it will drive you mad.”


He looked away. “I know.”


Buffy waited a moment, observing his somber features. He was in a dark place, and she wasn’t sure if she should go there, but she had to.


“Talk to me.” She said softly, her hand on his knee to try to get him to look at her. He finally did.


“Why?” He asked as if everything depended on the right answer to this simple question.


“Because I care.”


He nodded. “Where do you want me to start?”


“I don’t know--why don’t you tell me who the girl was?”


He chuckled. “Right. Let’s cut to the chase then.” He took a deep breath and concentrated on bringing back painful memories he most likely spent months trying not to stir.


“I was in my first year at UCLA when I met Drusilla Blackwell.” He started slowly, saying the name with emotion. “The two of us were from two completely opposite worlds. I was a nerdy freshman studying English literature in hope of some day becoming a writer, and she was the Goth princess of the campus. One of those eternal students attending college only to kill time, and have some fun while doing it. She wasn’t my usual type of girl. I was raised in a wealthy family, surrounded by those high society snob women, who couldn’t care less about me.”


“Is that what attracted you to her? That she was so different?”


“It was a little bit of this, yeah, and so much more. Dru could have charmed the devil if she wanted. Sure, she was a beautiful girl. Thick raven mane, pale skin, piercing eyes. But it wasn’t just that. There was something else about her. Something I can’t describe. And the minute she showed me interest, I was doomed. When Dru wanted something, she’d get it. And it didn’t take long for her to get me. At first, everything was perfect. She was my dark princess, and I was her bloody awful poet.”


Buffy frowned. “She thought you were a bad writer?”


He laughed. “I don’t know. Probably not. But soon after we started dating, I wrote her a poem. Turned out she hated poetry. So she laughed and started calling me her bloody awful poet. Anyway, things turned sour pretty quickly. I was so bloody enthralled by her that I started skipping classes just to be with her. I spent so much money to make her happy, but it was never enough. I ended up spending my tuition money on her and dropping out of college. We had nowhere to stay so we came here to Sunnydale. She said she had mates here and they wouldn’t mind giving us a place to crash for a while. That’s how I had the misfortune to meet Liam ‘Angel’ MacAlister, and his wife Darla.”


Spike stopped talking for a moment, lost in his thoughts. Buffy wanted to know more, but didn’t want to press him. She was eagerly leaning forward on her chair, hands between her knees, giving him her full attention.


“I knew right away that these people were bad news.” He continued. “Even their three year old son, Connor, was evil. I love kids, but after being around that brat, I almost changed my mind. I don’t usually talk like that about people, but Angel was a right bastard, and Darla was a whore. All they cared about was having fun at other people’s expense, never worrying about consequences. That’s what they did with Drusilla and me. I haven’t mentioned this, but Dru had a drug problem. I only found out after I started fancying her. I was so in love with her that I made it my only goal to save her. I knew she was stealing my money to buy that shit, but I believed in her and believed that she was strong and would get over her addiction.”


“Did she?”


Spike shook his head. “She almost did, but as soon as we moved in with Angel and Darla, it got worse. They encouraged her addiction, going as far as buying coke for her and leaving it around the house. They made it almost impossible for her to ever get better. Things got so bad in that house, it killed the passion between Dru and I. But even if I wasn’t in love with her anymore, I still loved her and didn’t want to give up on her. These people were destroying her life. She was sick and she needed me. Abandoning her there would have been like signing her death sentence.”


“But, these people, Angel and Darla, they were destroying your life too, weren’t they?”


“That’s the biggest understatement of the century, pet. They didn’t just destroy my life, they went way beyond that and I let them because I loved her. That’s me. I’m a right fool when it comes to love. But even if I loved her, I still ended up having to chose between me or her. I finally woke up when I was faced with the choice of leaving and saving myself, or staying to help her, and risking my sanity--I was sinking with her. The choice was hard, but I had to make it. Besides, at that point, I had reason to think that she was cheating on me. So I tried breaking it off with her a couple times. Every time though, she’d beg me to stay, and things would get back to the way they were at first. But it would only last a week or two. She’d be affectionate, calling me her sweet William, cuddling with me and promising me the world. Then, things would deteriorate again. That’s when…”


Buffy noticed how emotional Spike suddenly became. She took one of his hands that was resting on his knee and squeezed it gently in a discreet sign of support.


“I--I wanted to confront her that night. I came back early on purpose. I wanted to catch her in the act so there wouldn’t be anymore doubts in my mind. I was tired of deluding myself. When I noticed Angel’s car in the driveway, I figured I had missed my chance to catch her cheating because there was no way she’d shag that tosser. But as soon as I walked into the house, I knew I was wrong. The thing is, it wasn’t Angel I saw her with, but Darla. They were on the bed, naked.”


“You mean--Drusilla and Darla were…”


“Yep. They were. And Dru looked like she was enjoying herself too. She was all sprawled out on the bed with Darla‘s hand between her legs. I don‘t even think she saw me there. Unfortunately for me, I was so surprised at the sight that I think I zoned out for a few moments. That’s when…”


He took a deep breath and for a moment, Buffy thought he wouldn’t continue his story. His hand was shaking badly in hers.


“That’s when my world went to Hell. Literally. I was so shocked by the display, that I didn’t notice Angel standing right next to me. He was wearing surgeon‘s gloves and nothing else, and he was holding the gun Darla had bought for Dru. She had begged her to buy it so she could defend herself against the bad guys a few months before, when she was in one of her paranoiac phase. I had been against the idea, and I guess I was right to be after all. Before I could do anything to stop it--Angel shot her.”


Silent tears were now streaming down Spike’s face as he relived the horrible memories. Buffy didn’t realize it, but she was crying too.


“It took me a few seconds to understand what had just happened. But it was too late. Darla was laughing, there was blood everywhere, and Angel had used the moment of shock to put the gun in my hand. I dropped it to the floor and left the room. I don’t remember much after that. I think I went outside. I remember throwing up, but it’s foggy. I didn’t even try to run away. I just sat on the front porch, trying to understand what had just happened. That’s where the cops found me. Time flew by after that. Everything worked against me in court so it didn’t take very long for the verdict. They had eye witnesses, my hand prints on the gun, and the motive. Darla sat at the witness-box, crying hysterically and pointing a shaky finger in my direction with all the day time TV drama she could put in the act. Next thing I knew, a judge was telling me in technical words that life was over for me. The very worst moment of my life, is when I heard the word ‘guilty’ resonating in that court room. I’ll never forget. Never.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Willow opened to door, and froze. In front of her was Spike, his head on his knees, obviously crying. Buffy was kneeling in front of him, running her hand through his hair, the way a mother comfort a child. She gaped at the scene, incapable of tearing her eyes away.


Finally, feeling like she was intruding, she quietly walked out and closed the door behind her.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Chapter 13: Eye Witness

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CHAPTER 13: Eye witness


She drove for what seemed like hours, never getting anywhere. But despite the miles accumulating on the car’s speedometer, she never put any distance between her and Sunnydale. Her intent had never been to leave the town in the first place since her destination was only five minutes away from her own house. She just couldn’t bring herself to take the turn that would lead her to the dreadful place she wanted to see. So she kept on driving in circles. Her eyes were focused on a point straight ahead and her thoughts were going a hundred miles an hour. The goal of the ride was to witness the crime scene with her own eyes, but all she managed to do so far was to avoid it.


Earlier that night, Buffy had gone through Spike’s file to try finding out everything she could about that night’s events. There was nothing interesting in the file though. A copy of Darla’s deposition, one of Liam, the transcript of the court session and some technical details about the judgment. Everything matched what Spike had told her earlier, except the fact that he was innocent. Reading all this left her feeling frustrated.


After she got back home, she’d called an old acquaintance of hers, Willy, who worked at Sunnydale Police Department. She had met the guy while working in L.A. where he often stopped by the prison to drop off prisoners. Willy had transferred to Sunnydale a year before her as a result of a disciplinary measure taken against him. Being sent to the suburb was as far from a promotion as a police officer could get. Will was a nice enough guy when you overlooked the slightly sleazy side of his personality, but he was definitely not a good cop. He had a tendency to over share confidential information and unfortunately for him, his boss figured it out after a few incidents. When Buffy had called him earlier, she had hoped that being transferred to Sunnydale hadn’t cured him of his bad habit. She wasn‘t disappointed. It took a little bit of probing, but he ended up giving her the information she needed about Liam MacAlister. Although, there really wasn’t much to know about the guy. No real criminal activity anyway. Two arrests for assaults in a bar, and one for possession of marijuana. Not a clean record, but nothing that could help her. It didn’t matter. What she really wanted was an address, and she got it.


Now Buffy was cruising the empty streets of Sunnydale in her car, alone with her thoughts. And they were not pretty. She kept replaying in her head the story Spike had told her earlier that day. Thinking about it still made her upset, but as usual, she was turning it into anger. It was so much easier to deal with anger. In her experience, being upset only led to moping on the couch like a big useless lump, just like she did the night after she kissed Spike for the first time. Buffy didn’t like that feeling at all. She was action girl. That's what she did. She wasn’t the type of person to just sit and wait for things to change on their own. She needed to feel like she was doing something, like she was accomplishing something constructive. Anger always egged her on so she welcomed the feeling with open arms and let it take over her.


Making a decision, she suddenly did a sharp u-turn on Main street and stepped on the accelerator, heading in the opposite direction. She slowed down to be able to read the street names. When she found the one she was looking for, she signaled and turned. It was the town’s trashiest neighborhood. Generally speaking, the citizens of Sunnydale were mid to upper class. Large well lit sidewalks, pretty family houses with well kept lawns, expensive cars and brand new mini vans. It was the kind of perfect town where you want to raise your kids. A dream come true for soccer moms and busy CEO dads. But there was a small part of town that wasn’t exactly recommendable. Buffy wasn’t surprised to find out that this part of town was where Angel and Darla lived.


Small houses in desperate need of a paint job were lined up on each side of the street, so close from one another that you could probably hear what the neighbor was watching on TV. Most of them had old rusted cars parked in the driveway, tricycle and other kid toys abandoned on the front lawn, and the lawn itself was in a pitiful state. It was a sad contrast with the comfortable lifestyle Buffy was used to. The fact that William submitted himself to life in this neighborhood for the love of a woman, him who had been raised in luxury, was impressive in itself.


**That stupid Drusilla chick should have been kissing his feet and thanking God every day for being loved this much, instead of cheating on him like a big whore. I don’t know a lot of men who would live in one of those houses for a woman.** Buffy thought bitterly.


It started raining, making it difficult for her to see the addresses from the poorly lit street. But she finally found it. 230 Aurelius. The place where William Rayne had spent his last moment of freedom. Posh was definitely not the word she'd use to describe the house. The grayish white paint was peeling off on many spots and one of the windows on the second floor had been replaced with cardboard. A lawnmower had been abandoned by the front porch, probably ten years ago if the state of rusting was any indication. The lights were out and everything seemed quiet. But it was almost 4am and the car, a huge brown 1986 Oldsmobile Delta, was parked on the side of the house. They were probably in there, sleeping.


Buffy took the opportunity to fuel her anger by imagining Spike sleeping on his cot, cold, alone and uncomfortable, while those two murderers were sound asleep in their own bed. The house might have looked like a dump, but it was still way too good for them. If what Spike had told her was true, and she knew deep down that it was, then the people living in this house belonged in jail. They were the ones who should be sleeping on a cot every night for the rest of their pathetic lives.


She heard Spike’s voice in her head.


“I didn’t even try to run away. I just sat on the front porch, trying to understand what had just happened. That’s where the cops found me.”


The rain was beating down on the windshield, blurring everything outside. It rarely rained at this time of the year in California, but the weather suited Buffy’s mood perfectly. She stared at the porch and could almost see in her mind’s eyes the ghost of William sitting there with his head in his hands, waiting for the cops to arrive and take his freedom away from him. It wasn’t fair. It shouldn’t have been.


She was actually curious to see Angel and Darla. She wanted to see what evil looked like. How could two human beings be so completely evil that they’d come up with such a horrible plan, and lie so well that they’d fool everybody into putting the wrong man behind bars? How can you live with yourself knowing that you‘ve done that? How can you sleep at night? This was something Buffy couldn’t fathom no matter how hard she tried. Maybe because it takes a psychopath to understand another psychopath.


**Soulless. They have to be. There is no other explanation.**


The rain had stopped and the sky was turning to a lighter shade, a sure sign that the sun was coming up. Buffy realized that she had been sitting there for way too long. Turning the key in the ignition, she started the car and drove away, hoping that she hadn’t been noticed. Being spotted tonight would have been of the bad. She was there to observe only. Somehow, she needed to see this place for herself. It made what Spike went through, a reality to her as well. By being there, it made her part of this whole mess. Like adding a player to a game of poker when the game is already started. She had just thrown some money on the table and taken a seat. The only thing was, Liam Angel MacAlister and his wife Darla thought the game to be long over. Now, they’d have to sit back down and wait for the cards to be dealt again. And Buffy would make sure they wouldn’t go home with the money this time around.


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A/N: I would like to take a moment to thank all my faithful reviewers. I can't name you all, but you know who you are. It means so much to me and know that I always take time to read each and every review, even if I don't answer them all. Thanks.

The updates have been quick on this site because those weren't new chapters. My updates might take a little bit longer to come from now on, but don't worry, I promise not to keep you hanging. If you want to be notified for updates, you can join my mailing list: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TFTHFanficupdates/

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A/N: Again, thanks again to all my wonderful reviewers. You guys kick some major booty :-) Keep the reviews coming, it's like gas in a car... makes me write faster


CHAPTER 14: Therapy



"Mmm. You know…" Buffy breathed softly, eyes shut, a lazy smile stretching her pretty lips. "I think we're supposed to be talking about you. That's what this session is all about. Me, you, talking."


Spike had carefully slipped his bound arms around her, mindful of the handcuffs around his wrists, and was holding her close. He was feasting on the side of her neck, leaving a wet trail on her golden skin. They were cuddling on the couch in her office, enjoying the short time together this therapy session allowed them.


"Can't talk. Busy."


She giggled, both from his answer and from the way he was tickling her warm skin. "When Willow proposed that I'd take your case, I'm sure that's not what she had in mind. Not that I'm complaining. But I'm supposed to meet with her later on and share the information I gathered. What am I going to tell her?"


"Don't know, pet. Tell her I like the way your skin tastes..." He licked the side of her neck until he reached her ear lobe and sucked on it, making her moan throatily. "... and how the feel of your body against mine has a wonderful effect on my mood. Making out with you is a bloody great therapy if you ask me. You can also tell her you did that picture association game with me. You know, the one where you show me ink stains and I'm supposed to tell you what I see in 'em? Tell her I saw only you in each and every picture."


He kissed her lightly on the lips, then went back to working on her neck. But even though they were comfortably holding each other, Buffy could sense that Spike was still tensed and hesitant. As if he was afraid to go too far and push the boundaries to their limit—afraid she'd change her mind about the whole situation any minute.


With the specific intention to make him relax and to show him without any possible doubt that she wasn't about to change her mind, she tried to make them more comfortable on the couch. She leaned back until her blonde head rested on the armrest, pulling Spike along with her to lay intimately on top of her. He tensed noticeably when his erection pressed against her thigh, but she soothed him by running a loving hand up and down his back to show him that she really didn't mind. His body relaxed into hers and his lips found hers again, resuming their kiss.


"God, Buffy. You taste like heaven."


"... Never felt so good before, Spike. How am I supposed to be the reasonable one here?"


He stopped to look at her. "Luv, I think we're anything BUT reasonable. Bloody hell, we're a world away from reasonable."


Her girlish laughter echoed in the room. To the casual observer, they would have look like a happy couple who didn't have a care in the world. "Point taken."


They remained quiet for a moment, enjoying a rare and incredibly precious moment of happiness in their strange and new relationship. Spike's forehead was resting against hers, her tiny fingers running leisurely through his bleached hair.


"Tell me... What were you like when you were a little boy?"


Spike frowned. "Is that part of the information you're planning on sharing with Willow?"


"Nope. Legit curiosity, I swear. Besides, it's always good to have a minimum of information on the person you're making out with, don't you think?"


"Mm. Makes sense." He seemed lost in thoughts for a moment before his expression softened. He smiled down at her and brushed a strand of her blonde hair away from her forehead with his finger tips. "I'm sure you were an adorable little girl. I can almost see you in my mind, running around bare foot with your pigtails and sundress, not a bloody care in the world. It must have been a lovely sight. Were you always strong willed and rebellious, even back then?"


"Yep. Mom always repeated that I'd be the death of her. I could never sit down for more than five minutes at a time. I was always... "


Buffy interrupted herself and stared at Spike with her mouth gapping, suddenly realizing what he was doing. "Hey! Nice try, mister."


"What?" He gave her an innocent look.


"You are one clever man, Mr. Rayne. Here I am, with all my years of training and experience in criminal psychology, and I'm the one being interrogated?" She clicked her tongue, pretending to be annoyed. "It would almost make me feel incompetant, almost, if you weren't so damn sexy."


"And how is me being sexy an excuse?"


"Well... How could anybody expect me to resist that boyish charm of yours? I can't be held responsible for my weakness. I am a woman before being a warden, you know." She pouted prettily, already knowing how he couldn't resist that.


Instantly, his blue eyes focused on her mouth. "Yeah. That you are, luv." He drawled before capturing her plump lower lip between his in a hot kiss. "You're all woman. From head to toe, and everything in between."


She smiled, but it didn't reached her eyes which were strangely sad considering the lightness of the mood.


"This therapy excuse—it's very convenient. But it won't last. I won't be able to justify seeing you like this for long. Only real psychos, serial killers, or sex offenders, get to meet with the prison staff for evaluations and case study. Which doesn't happen a lot here since this isn't a high security prison. You getting yourself into a few spots of trouble and refusing to talk to the therapist hardly justifies being seen on a regular basis by the warden."


"I know. Are you insinuating that I'll have to be badder from now on? That I'll have to commit acts of unspeakable horror to see you, Ms. Summers? I think you're trying to be a bad influence on me, aren't you? Because that would be wrong."


Buffy tried to open her mouth to reply but he just kept talking, not giving her the chance to interrupt.


"No. Don't you dare seducing me with your words. I'm a pure soul and all that rot.


She tried again to open her mouth, clearly amused by Spike's antics. He covered her mouth with his fingers.


"I know your game. You're trying to use your endless charms and power of corruption on me, Ms. Summers. I won't be a bad man, no matter how much I want to please you..."


She took his fingers away from her lips.


"I understand, Mr. Rayne. Though I can think of other ways to please me."


He opened wide, innocent, blue eyes. "I'm intrigued. Do tell, pet."


Instead of telling him, she showed him by pulling his head to hers and smashing her lips on his for a passionate kiss. They chuckled happily in each other's mouth, not willing to break contact despite their hilarity. But too soon, Buffy pulled away, all humor gone from her hazel eyes. She sighed, a wave of sadness washing over her.


"It's getting too comfortable, isn't it?"


"I'm afraid so. Too comfortable for our own good, that's for sure."


"What do we do when the therapy excuse doesn't work anymore? Which will be like—very soon. People will notice that I've been seeing you an awful lot. They'll ask questions. People are nosy like that."


"Aren't you the boss around here, pet?"


"Yeah. But I'm not almighty. I've been placed here by the State. There's a panel who chose me for the job. And they will be scrutinizing my every move. Especially after the mess my predecessors left behind. Anything looks fishy to them and they'll be on my case like evil bees on a sugar glazed doughnut. These guys... One word to the Governor and I'm history. I suspect that fooling around in my office with one of my prisoners would be one of the things that would get my ass replaced faster than you can say 'bloody hell'. If I was evil like Wilkins and had friends in high places like he did, maybe I could pull it off. Or if I was really good at sneaking around... which I so am not!" She lowered her head to hide the sadness she was sure was obvious in her eyes. "We're so screwed, Spike."


"Come on, warden. You gotta have a little more imagination than that! We just have to be careful and clever. The way I see it, danger only makes things more exciting, is all. We might be blondes, but there's two of us in this. That means almost one complete brain according to brunettes' standards."


She slapped playfully at his shoulder. "Wow. That means we're almost smart. Lucky us! But seriously, Spike, it is kinda exciting, I won't deny that. But it's still a dangerous game we're playing at."


"Luv, if you're too worried and you want to end it..."


"No!—no, of course not. I don't think I could, to be honest. But we'll have to come up with some really great excuses though. I just don't want to lose my job if I don't absolutely have to."


"You won't. We'll just have to make sure we don't get caught. There are ways to communicate with each other, I'm sure."


"Like what?"


Spike tried to move and winced at the pressure it put on his already painful arms. "Pet, as much as I love holding you in my arms like this, if I don't move soon, you'll have to get Anya to amputate me from the lack of blood to my limbs."


"Oh! I'm sorry!" She sat up so he could take his arms from around her.


The young woman pouted in vexation. "I'm the freakin' warden. You'd think I'd have the master to your handcuffs in the top drawer of my desk."


Spike smiled at her, a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. "You sure you don't? This place is a sodden mess. Maybe you have the key somewhere underneath all that rubbish that clutters your desk."


"Hey! Is it my fault there's not enough money in the prison's budget to pay for me to have an assistant or a maid? Stupid budget." She crossed her arms over her chest and huffed in frustration.


"How about you use one of your devoted prisoners for the job? Free help. That would fit in your budget. I know this guy, British, sexy, efficient and discreet, who'd be more than willing to help."


"Do you think he'd work shirtless?"


"I'm sure it could be arranged."


"Yum! That's tempting. But no thanks. My secretary would be in my office all the time."


Spike frowned, waiting for her explanation.


"What? I've seen the way she was checking out your butt when you walked in!"


He grinned, amused at seeing Buffy's irrational side. "Jealous, pet?"


"Uh huh. No way."


"I think," He said, punctuating every word with a light brush of his lips on hers. "you might be... just a little bit."


"Whatever you say, bleachboy. So, did you think of a way for us to keep in touch without anybody noticing? You seemed very confident that we could earlier."


Spike sat up and got more serious. After thinking for a few seconds, his face lit up. "You know how we're allowed to access the internet a few hours a day? I know a couple of guys who use that time to chat with birds or send emails. You could create yourself an address that can't be traced back to you and we could email each other sometimes."


This time, Buffy's smile did reach her eyes. "Yes, of course! How could I not think of that! Ok, so, that's one thing. What other contact can you have with the outside world that can't be traced to me. I mean, you do have your fifteen minutes call a day but... Wait. What if I get someone I know and trust to get me a cell phone in their name? This way, if someone ever tried to investigate, my name wouldn't come up. Not that I think anyone would ever investigate, but better be safe than sorry."


This time, it was Spike's turn to give her a genuine smile. "Brilliant, luv. See? I told you that two blondes are worth a brunette!.. or a red head. I'm sure we'll find other ideas."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Harmony's shrill laughter echoed loudly throughout the small employees' cafeteria. Faith rolled her eyes and took a vicious bite out of her sandwich, trying to block out the annoying sound. It was harder than it seemed considering the airhead was sitting only two seats away at the same table. Anya sat stiffly in front of the secretary, alterning between picking at her tuna salad without conviction, and throwing desperate glances toward the door. Either she was planning an escape, or she was waiting for Rups to come and rescue her.


Faith smiled at the thought, her lips stretching around the straw. She slurped noisily at her diet coke and Harmony shot her a dirty look. Feeling silly, the brunette took a huge bite of her sandwich and staring intently at Harmony, she chewed with her mouth open, then belched loudly. The blonde woman snorted in disgust and turned her attention back to Anya.


After another couple of minutes of Harm's insipid chatter, Anya sighed and interrupted her. "Why are you taking your lunch break at 11? Don't you usually take it at noon? Why are you here?"


Harmony leaned toward Anya in a conspirational way, as if she was about the share top secret information.


"Lets just say that... Ms. Summers needed me out of the office."


Anya didn't like Harmony and never bothered hiding her dislike, but she was a curious woman.


"What do you mean? Oh my God. Do you think she's pulling a Wilkins and she's gonna run off with the money? Because that's just wrong. Money is important. The prison needs money so they can pay me. I have investments you know. I need my pay check!"


"No no, I don't think she'd do that."


"Then, why would she want you out of the office?"


Harmony pretended to hesitate, looking around suspiciously. Seeing that Faith seemed engrossed in her magazine, she finally started talking again. "I really shouldn't tell you that. Ok. Maybe I will. But you must promise to keep this to yourself. I don't want to lose my job."


"Sure. I promise."


"Cross your heart and hope to die?"


Anya rolled her eyes at how childish the other woman could be, but nodded anyway. "Sure, whatever. Now spill."


"Ms. Summers told me I could take a two hours break because she was meeting up privately with prisoner 106643."


At the nurse's blank expression, Harmony rolled her eyes. "Duh! Rayne. You know, Spike? Only the hottest prisoner this prison has ever had?"


"You learn the prisoners' ID by heart? Don't you have a life?"


"Well, it's Spike, not just any prisoner. And that's not the point! She's with him... Alone."


"So?"


"She covered by saying that Willow wanted her to take over his case, but come on! Who would be dumb enough to believe that? This guy is so sexy he would melt an iceberg. And why would she want me to leave the office? I think she was afraid I might interrupt somet..."


Suddenly, Harmony felt herself being pulled off her chair by her arm and dragged out of the cafeteria. She yelped helplessly when Faith slammed her into a wall in the empty hallway.


Harmony jerked her head back in fear when the taller brunette got into her face. She hit her head but didn't dare make a sound, too terrified by the other woman who seemed enraged at the moment.


The guard wrapped her fingers around Harmony's throat, applying just enough pressure so that the blonde would take her threat seriously.


"Open your yap just one more time to trash talk against Ms. Summers, Barbie, and I'll make you swallow your teeth. Got it? If I hear ANY nasty rumors about her, I'll know who the source is and I'll come knocking at your door. And believe me, it won't be a social call. Do you understand what I'm saying or do I have to explain with examples?"


Harm nodded weakly.


"What was that? I didn't hear you."


"Y-yes. I understand." Harmony croaked.


Faith let go of her and the shorter woman rubbed at her sore neck. "You hurt me you big freak!"


"That'll teach you to think before you open that big trap of yours."


Harmony hesitated, obviously wanting to say something. She opened her mouth and closed it a couple of times before finally finding the courage to make a sound.


"Why are you defending Ms. Summers? Not that she needs to be defended because I really wasn't bad mouthing her or anything.. Just keeping a colleague up to date on what's going on in the office."


"Yeah? Well you should know that this kind of gossips can be really fucking hurtful to a girl's career. Next thing you know, the wrong people hear about it and B's taken away from her position as head honcho of Sunnydale's most popular hang out and we're back to square one. They send another power hungry loser to take over and we're left to deal with the consequences."


"Don't you miss Wilkins? Not that I do," she urgently amended, "but... I would have assumed that you, of all people, would have been more hostile to Buffy."


Faith's demeanor changed in a matter of seconds. She chuckled humorlessly and turned her back to Harmony in a protective manner.


"You'd think that, wouldn't you?"


"Well, yeah..."


"You're right. I miss him sometimes. I miss being the almighty Faith that everybody's afraid of and all that shit." She paused and took a deep breath. "And I'm glad as hell that he's gone."


"You are?!" Harmony gasped, incredulous. "Ok, you lost me there."


"Yeah, I am. I didn't like the side of me he brought out. I didn't like the way he made the dark side seem so appealing. Sure, he treated me like a daughter. To a gal like me who grew up without a real family, that was the shit. It felt so good. But towards the end, I finally realized that a father who loves his daughter wouldn't ask her to do the things The Boss asked me to do..."


"So you denounced him, right? That was you, right?"


Faith laughed heartily. "Wouldn't you love to know? Listen, Barbie, I wouldn't trust you with a secret if my life depended on it, so you'll just have to keep wondering. About B... She's a great boss. Some of the guys haven't realize it yet because they're retarded idiots and they're too fucking thick to pay attention, but she's great. And for some really fucked up reason that I haven't figured out yet, the girl believes in me. She's the first person I've ever met who just gave me the benefit of the doubt like this, and I'll do anything to prove that she was right to trust me."


Harmony looked down. "I know. She really isn't so bad, I guess."


"Don't risk losing a boss like B by starting stupid rumors just to entertain the crowd of Ls and Gs. It's not worth it. And so what if she wants to reward herself for her hard work by spending an hour chatting up Mr. Sunnydale prison 2004? Personally, I don't have a problem with it. Besides, what's she gonna do during that hour other than flirting a bit and innocently batting her eyelashes at him?"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"Oh Spike!"


Buffy whimpered, overwhelmed by the sensation of his body pressed so closely against hers, his hands in her hair, his lips on her skin. They were fully clothed, and yet, it felt more intimate and fulfilling than having sex with some of the boyfriends she'd had in the past. He had slipped his arms back around her now that they were laying on their sides and was holding her as close as physically possible.


When the phone rang, Buffy jumped and fell off the couch, pulling Spike along for the fall. They landed painfully on the floor in a tangle of limbs.


Spike took his arms from around her and Buffy rushed to answer the phone with a sigh of disappointment.


"Buffy Summers."


"Buffy, it's Giles. Are you done with Spike? I was going for my break and I could take him back.."


"Actually, I was just about to call you. I think we're about done here. It didn't go all that well and I think there's nothing more I can do today."


"Don't give up. The bloke is stubborn as hell. Maybe it will go better next time you'll see him."


Buffy hid a triumphant smile with her hand and looked at Spike, eyes sparkling with amusement. "Yes, you're right. Maybe next time I'll see him, he'll be more cooperative. Who knows."


Spike grinned and gave her the thumbs up in a show of approval. He realized that she was subtly preparing Giles for a 'next time' so he wouldn't find it too odd. Smart girl.


"Good. I'll be at your office in a minute."


"Thanks." She hung up and for a moment, didn't move or say a word.


"Well—that was for sure the shortest hour in history." She gave him a quick smile before turning away from where he was sitting on the couch. "All right. Lets make ourselves presentable again. Giles will be here any second now."


Buffy took a small mirror and a brush out of her purse and after smoothing her hair down, pulled it back into a ponytail the way it was when Spike arrived earlier.


He watched her intently as she carefully reapplied her lipstick.


"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Buffy." He said softly.


The young woman blushed and looked down. Spike stood up. She walked up to him and busied herself by smoothing down the wrinkles on his shirt. "Thank you. Sorry I'm acting like a spaz. I don't hear things like that very often."


"You better bloody well get used to it, pet, cause I have a tendency to say everything that crosses my mind and when I think of you, the words beautiful, sexy, funny, amazing, tend to pop up."


"All right then. If it's compliment time, I gotta say... you're the hotest, sexiest, handsomest guy I've ever seen."


It was Spike's turn to blush. Buffy laughed at his reaction just as there was a knock on the door.


"Damn." She pouted. "I guess that's it for now."


"I'll miss you." He kissed her lightly, careful not to smudge her lipstick, then let her go to answer the door.


She watched as Giles took Spike away, closing the door behind him.


"I'll miss you too." She murmured to herself in the empty office.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CHAPTER 15: Meeting with the Devil



Buffy was awakened from her light and agitated sleep by something, or rather someone, bouncing on her bed. The mattress on which she was resting creaked loudly in protest, head board banging against the wall. She opened an eye and automatically regretted doing so. The harsh sunlight assaulted her vision, making her groan.


Giggles.


Where was she again?


As her foggy brain slowly came to, she finally remembered that she had spent the night at Cordy’s.


The blonde woman opened her eyes again and smiled weakly at her goddaughter.


“Wakey wakey, auntie Buffy! Mommy made burned French toasts!”


Buffy couldn’t help but laugh at this, and finally fully awake, she grabbed the little girl around the waist and tossed her on the bed before starting to tickle her.


“Not nice to make fun of your mom’s cooking talents, little devil.”


Camille laughed and wiggled trying to escape Buffy’s torturous hands, her dark eyes dancing with merriment. She let the little girl go and looked up when she heard someone clearing their throat. Xander was leaning against the door frame, a steaming cup of coffee in his hand.


“Morning, Buffster. I see that you got your wake up call.”


“Yes, thank you. Very efficient I must say.”


Xander chuckled. “Hey, you’re the one who said you needed to get up early. Don’t blame me. I figured sending the little one would get the job done.”


“All right, I’m up. I’ll go take a quick shower and I’ll meet you guys downstairs for breakfast.” She gently ruffled Camille’s chocolate curls. “Why don’t you go make sure your mommy doesn’t burn down the kitchen, kiddo? I’m sure she needs your help.”


The little girl squealed and ran out of the room, tiny bare feet slapping loudly on the hardwood floor.


Xander shook his head, grinning affectionately at his daughter’s antics. “She was so excited that you’d spend the night. She probably didn’t sleep all night in fear that she’d wake up and you’d be gone.”


“I know. I haven’t visited as much as I wanted to.” Buffy said while putting her robe on and retrieving clothes from her suitcase. “Work has been pretty intense for the past two months. It’s hard to explain to a four year old and I know she doesn’t understand why I’m not here everyday like I used to be. But things should calm down eventually and I’ll visit more often, I promise.”


“Don’t worry about that. We explained it to her and she’s fine. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t miss you, but she’s a bright little cookie, she understands.”


“Yeah, she is smart.” Buffy frowned. “Wonder where she got that from..?”


“Hey!” Xander exclaimed, acting all offended. “I’ll have you know that I’m much smarter than my construction worker’s muscles, and rugged looks, would lead you to believe.” He pouted. “There I was, bearing presents, and what do you do? You insult me.”


He pulled out a little Blackberry from his jeans pocket and pretended to walk away.


Buffy laughed. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please don’t go. I’ll behave, I promise. You’re really smart, and nice and good looking.”


Xander gave her a cocky grin. “Ah! I knew you had a secret thing for me. If things don’t work out with Cordy, I’ll give you a call.”


Buffy rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right. You know you’d miss Cordelia’s cooking. I’m worst than she is.” She reached for the Blackberry he was still holding. “Gimme!”


He gave the hand held device to the excited young woman, looking curiously at her.


“You’re welcome, Buffster. Here’s the gift YOU asked ME to buy for you with YOUR money and put under MY name. What’s the deal with that anyway?”


She turned away from her friend’s curious eyes, looking at her new toy. Now, Spike could both email her, and call her. She was beyond happy.


“No questions, remember? I can’t explain. But thank you so much. You have no idea how happy that makes me. I promise to pay the bill on time.”


“All right then. I’ll keep my questions to myself. I have to go to work. Call me when you get home, ok?”


“I will. Thanks again, Xand. That was really important to me.” She kissed him on the cheek. “Bye.”


“Bye Buff. And don’t worry, if Cordelia’s French toast are too much for your delicate stomach, there’s always jelly doughnuts in the fridge.”


Buffy chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind. Always good to have another option.”


Xander left, and Buffy went to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for her meeting.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Stressed out after spending an hour fighting with the early morning L.A. traffic, Buffy finally found a parking spot not too far from the building. She was now standing in front of the skyscraper and could honestly say that she was impressed. The whole building belonged to the law firm. A large sign in front of the main entrance said: Wolfram&Hart.


She took a deep breath, trying to calm her shaky nerves and made sure her gray pencil skirt and matching suit jacket weren’t too wrinkled. Trying her best to look relaxed and confident, she walked into the lobby and looked around for the elevator.


An authoritative voice stopped her. “Miss. May I help you?”


She turned around. The security guard had stood up behind his post, ready to stop her if she dared going any further. He looked intently at her.


**Wow. I guess you can’t just walk in this building without an invitation. What does he think I look like? A terrorist?**


She smiled nonetheless, intimidated by the large man.


“I’m here to see Ms. Morgan. She’s expecting me.”


The guard took a clip board from his desk. “Your name, please.”


“Buffy Summers.”


She waited as he looked for her name on the list, fidgeting nervously with the hem of her suit jacket.


He finally looked up, his previously severe expression replaced by a polite smile. “Take the elevator to the 15th floor and turn on your left. Have a good day, miss.”


“Huh.. Thank you.”


The elevator rode smoothly to the 15th floor in record time. Buffy was a little thrown when two doors opened, unsure which way to exit. The receptionist came to her aid.


“This way, Ms. Summers.”


Buffy’s eyebrows shot up in surprised at the receptionist knowledge of her name, but soon realized that the security guard probably called up to announce her.


**impressive** She thought, feeling more and more intimidated by the second. She scolded herself. **Geez, Buff. You run a prison and yet, you let mere lawyers intimidate you? What’s up with that?**


Buffy gave the woman a dazzling smile. “Hi. I’m here to see…”


“Lilah Morgan.” The receptionist interrupted her. “She’s expecting you.”


As she said that, another woman walked straight to Buffy, her hand extended in greeting. Buffy accepted her handshake graciously. Everything about this woman screamed “lawyer”. From her perfect chestnut hair to her outrageously expensive looking Manolo shoes, not to mention the exaggerate tooth paste commercial smile.


“Ms. Summers. So nice to meet you. I’m Lilah Morgan. I’ve been looking through the case you faxed me this week. Let’s go to my office.”


Buffy nodded and followed her into what Lilah had called “her office”. A family of six could live very comfortably in there! It put her own office at the prison to shame.


“Have a seat, please. May I offer you something to drink? It‘s a little early for a scotch, though some people say that it‘s always noon somewhere in the world, but I do have tea and coffee if you‘d prefer.”


Buffy smiled politely at the lawyer’s sad attempt at humor and agreed to a coffee. She waited anxiously for Lilah to finally sit in front of her. She had sent the law firm Spike’s case a week ago after being told by many people that they were the absolute best in the world. Which wasn’t even a figure of speech since they had branches in Paris, London, Rome and Tokyo, to name only a few.


Now, she was nervous. It was her first attempt at doing something to help Spike and the dreamer in her was hoping for some kind of miracle. Sure, if they’d take the case, she’d have to work until the ripe age of 150 years old to pay the bill; they didn’t look like the type to do pro bono work, unfortunately. But it would be worth it.


Lilah sat behind her desk and took a file from the top of a pile.


Buffy was staring at the file in the woman’s hands, thinking about how ironic it was that such innocent looking papers could hold the fate of a man. His right to live or die.


The lawyer opened the folder in front of her and looked at it silently, as if she was trying to organize her thoughts. Her eyes were expressionless and it scared Buffy. She started twisting her hands nervously.


Finally, Lilah looked up at her. “How can I put this, Ms. Summers. I looked through the case again and again over the week. You do know I’ve made a career of taking on the most complicated cases and always won, right?”


Buffy nodded carefully, unsure if an answer was expected from her. Of course she knew. She had done her homework before contacting Lilah. She was the best.


“But most of the time, it is the simplest cases that are the most difficult.”


“But.. It’s still doable, right?”


Lilah closed the folder containing Spike’s case dramatically slowly to illustrate her point. Buffy’s heart sank in her chest.


“No.” She answered with finality. “I’m sorry. There is absolutely nothing I can do for your friend. Sure, he could waste his time asking for an appeal, but without evidence, or someone else coming forward admitting to the crime, that’s just what it is: a waste of time and money. This,” She shook the folder to illustrate her point, “is set in concrete. They have the motive, the weapon with his finger prints on it, the witnesses. He should just count himself lucky that the judge took into consideration the attenuating circumstances of a passion crime and temporary insanity that his original lawyer pleaded for, or he’d be in a high security prison right now, waiting for his turn on the chair. I really am sorry.”


Buffy wiped furiously at a tear that’d run down her cheek, angry with herself for showing weakness. “So. You’re telling me that his only chance is a confession from the real killer, or nothing. Is that it?”


Lilah frowned. “Well--yes. But that’s not very likely to happen. Lets face it; if you had killed someone and got away with it, would you be stupid enough to go to the police and confess?”


Buffy remained silent for a few moments, lost in her thoughts. She finally looked up, determination obvious in her eyes. “Does it have to be to the police? I mean, if the guy who did it admits it, and I get it on tape. Would that be enough of a proof of innocence for William to be freed?”


“An admission is an admission. They would probably examine the tape to make sure it’s genuine and… Yes it would be enough. Of course, it would be better if the guy does something incriminating. But Ms. Summers, I get that you really believe Mr. Rayne to be innocent and you want him to be let out of prison, but I still don’t see how you could ever get a murderer to incriminate himself AND get it on tape.”


“I’ll find a way.”


The lawyer gave her an indulgent smile and stood up. “I’m sincerely sorry I couldn’t help you any further. If you ever need legal advice, don’t hesitate to contact me.”


Buffy took Lilah’s offered hand and shook it.


**At $100 a minute, you can be sure I will** she thought somberly, but managed to smile anyway.


“Thanks for trying.”


Buffy walked away, trying to hold back her tears long enough to make it to her car.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: I know I made you guys wait a long time for this update and I'm really sorry. Real life got in the way. I'll try to be a good girl and update more frequently from now on. If you want to be notified for futur updates, you can join my mailing list: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TFTHFanficupdates/
Thanks for reviewing!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



CHAPTER 16: Sunshine, friends and food



The tide is high but I’m holding on
I wanna be your number one
I’m not the kinda girl who gives up just like that
Oh oh, no


Buffy and Faith stood side by side next to the patio door with a similar look on their faces. Eyes wide, mouths slightly open. On the other side of the back yard, the blonde girl was dancing on her own, completely oblivious of the amused looks everybody was giving her. Harmony, dressed in a flashy pink bikini, a matching pink flower in her hair and darker fuchsia pareo wrapped around her hips, was doing her own version of a Hawaiian dance.


Dawn walked out of the house carrying a plate loaded with burgers and hotdogs to be cooked on the barbecue. She paused by the two women.


“It’s like watching a car crash, isn‘t it? Horrifying, yet, you can‘t look away.” She shook her head and walked away, ponytail swinging behind her, leaving the two women laughing.


Faith grinned. “I like the brat. She’s sassy.”


Buffy chuckled. “Yeah, she has quite a mouth on her.”


The brunette gave her a friendly slap on the shoulder. “I’ll go get myself a refill if you don’t mind. I think I’ll need to get plastered if I want to survive Harmony.”


Buffy watched as Faith walked to where Xander was taking care of the bar, hips swinging seductively in her outrageously short cut-off jeans and tight black cotton tank top. She knew it wouldn’t take long for Cordelia to come running, her territorial instincts kicking in. Should be fun to watch. Buffy smiled.


The heat wave was unusual for the end of November, and Buffy had decided to make the most of it by organizing an outdoor party at her place. So far, the day was a success. Ok. Not really if you considered that the goal of her barbecue was to help the employees who didn’t like her to warm up to her and the only ones who showed up were the ones who liked her already. But maybe it was better this way. It’s always better to be surrounded by your loved ones anyway. And those were all there gathered in her back yard.


Giles was cooking burgers and hotdogs on the grill while Anya was watching him, Dawn standing next to her and making a shocked face at something the nurse told her. Probably something horribly weird, knowing Anya. Cordelia was playing with Camille in the pool while chatting with Joyce, Buffy’s mom. Willow wasn’t there yet, but she had called saying she was on her way. She had to wait for Oz, who had a rehearsal with his band in the morning. Oz was bringing his band members with him and they’d be giving them a little private show later on. Buffy had warned her neighbors about the possible noise and invited them over if they wanted to come.


Everything was perfect. The weather, the company… She tried not to think about the fact that Spike would probably never enjoy a pool party ever again or she’d be too sad to have fun. She was still upset about her conversation with the lawyer a week ago. But these were bad thoughts and she was supposed to be happy and have fun today.


“Buffy!”


Buffy turned around to face the new arrival. Willow was coming towards her, holding the hand of a man with purple hair that could only be her husband, Oz. Trailing behind them were two other guys that she assumed were his band members.


“Willow! Hi!” She hugged the other woman.


“This is my husband, Daniel. But call him Oz.”


Oz shook her hand. “Daniel just doesn’t fit me.” He stated matter-of-factly. “Nice to meet you.”


Buffy smiled at him. He seemed like the quiet type, but there was a warmth behind his eyes that made her understand what Willow saw in him.


Willow introduced her to the two other guys, then the girls left so Willow could say hello to Xander, whom she hadn’t seen in years. After the initial shock, the hugs and squeals, they all sat to eat what Giles had cooked for them. Surprisingly enough, Cordelia and Willow, now older and more mature, seemed to be getting along quite well. Buffy had been worried about how they would interact together, but they sat next to each other and talked during the entire meal, Camille sitting in Willow’s lap.


Buffy was smiling happily, watching her friends, when her Blackberry warned her that she had a text message. She tried not to react, but it must have shown on her face because she noticed Dawn giving her a curious look.


Buffy tried to smile at her as casually as she could, but she felt herself blushing. Dawn gave her an eye roll before taking a huge bite of her burger.


She turned the device on to check her message, hiding it from view under the table.


[Bloody_poet: Hey pet. How’s the party going? Don‘t have too much fun without me. Sorry, just being a selfish git. Seriously though, I hope you‘re having a bloody great time with your mates. Eat an extra burger for me, would you? For some reason, I miss greasy American food lol]


Buffy smiled, forgetting for a moment there were people around her.


[Anne_pet: It’s great. Wish you were here. I’ll have another burger and a beer for you. I’ll probably throw up for eating too much junk, but I don’t mind suffering for you ;-)]


[Bloody_poet: lol Don’t make yourself sick, pet. Don’t want that on my conscience. Did a lot of people show up?]


[Anne_pet: Yes. The ones I expected to come did. But too bad none of the guards showed up except for Faith and Giles. Guess they caught on to my lame attempt at befriending them.]


[Bloody_poet: They’re fools. Anybody should be honored to have an opportunity to be your friend. Sod those wankers. At least, your real friends showed up, right?]


[Anne_pet: Yeah, they did.] Buffy looked around. Everybody was talking and laughing, and nobody was paying attention to what she was doing. [Babe? Do you have access to the phone right now?]


[Bloody_poet: Sure pet. If you give me five minutes to get there.]


[Anne_pet: All right. Call me, I‘ll be waiting.]


[Bloody_poet: Talk to you in a minute.]


Buffy turned the phone off and looked up. Xander was smiling at her.


“Glad to see my ‘gift’ gets you all happy and smiley”


Buffy blushed, sensing the interrogation coming. As if on cue, Cordelia frowned, looking at her husband. “What gift?”


“The phone. Buffy asked me to buy her the Blackberry and put it under my name for some reason…”


Everybody turned to the blonde girl, waiting for her to explain the story. Buffy chuckled nervously, trying not to look at Dawn. The girl knew full well why her sister had asked Xander to put the phone under his name and was now giving her sister an amused look. She was probably hoping she would be tripping over her own feet and was ready to enjoy the show. Evil.


Buffy’s blush deepened and she stammered some weird reason as of why she would ask someone to buy a phone for her. As the words came tumbling out of her lips, even her found her excuse ridiculous. But she didn’t stick around long enough to find out if they were buying it or not.


Standing up, she excused herself saying that she had a phone call to make and that she’d be back in a moment. She went inside so she could have some privacy. She knew it was stupid to talk to Spike on the phone when all her coworkers were in her backyard, especially after what had just happened, but she couldn’t help it. She needed to hear his voice.


She went down to the basement and sat on the floor behind the bar. She put the earphone in her ear and waited for his call. She didn’t have long to wait. A minute or so later, the phone rang. She answered.


“Hey you!”


“Hello pet. What are you doing all by yourself talking to me? Shouldn’t you be enjoying your party with your mates?”


She pouted even though he couldn’t see her. “I was. But then, I missed you. I needed to hear your voice.”


She could almost hear the smile in his voice. “Miss you too.”


“Sucks, you know. Everybody is here with their husband or boyfriend and they all think I’m their pathetic single friend. But I’m not. They just don’t know that.” She hesitated for a moment. “I’m not, right?”


He chuckled softly into the receiver. “As taken as a girl can be with an absentee boyfriend who happens to be in jail. But I can only imagine their faces if you’d tell them that.”


She tried to hide her giddiness at his use of the word ‘boyfriend’, taking a moment before answering. “Yeah. I’m not single and pathetic but my boyfriend couldn’t make it because he’s kinda busy in prison right now. That would go over well with them, I’m sure. Though, it could be kind of entertaining to see their reaction. If the party gets boring, I know what to do. Actually, I already kinda made it more interesting a minute ago…”


“What did you do?”


Buffy pouted even though he couldn’t see her. “It’s all Xander’s fault. Remind me to kick his ass when everybody else is gone.”


“Ok. What did Xander do then?” Spike had a fair idea of who Xander was since Buffy had talked about her friends during some of their chat sessions. She told him about Cordelia, Xander, Willow, Dawn and her mom. Finding out about Buffy‘s life outside of the prison was now his biggest passion beside Buffy herself. But it went hand in hand, so it was his biggest passion. She was.


“He mentioned buying the phone for me and putting the bill under his name. At the table. In front of EVERYBODY. And you know how well I lie, especially under pressure, right?”


“You blush bright red like a bloody virgin and start babbling. It’s adorable as hell.”


“Not so adorable when the moment is crucial and you need people to actually believe you.”


“Aw, come on, pet. Couldn’t be that bad. What did you say?”


“Not quite sure. I was so freaked out that I just said the first thing that popped into my mind. Something about already having a phone paid by the prison and always wanting a Blackberry but not wanting to pay for it. Xander doesn’t have a cell so I figured he could deduct it on his taxes as being work related.”


“Not bad. It’s almost believable.”


“I’m sure it would have been more believable if I had said it in a coherent manner and I hadn’t been bet red.”


“Did you give your guests some booze today?”


“Huh… Yeah, why?”


“Nah,” he casually dismissed. “They probably didn’t care, or if they did, they won’t remember tomorrow. Alcohol does have its up side.”


Buffy laughed. How could this man make all her worries go away so easily.


“I’ll have to go, luv. The guard is glaring at me. I think that means my fifteen minutes are over.”


“Damn it! Remind me to change the rule to an hour every day instead of fifteen lousy minutes. This sucks.”


“Come on, go back to your party before you’re faced with more embarrassing questions.”


“Yeah, I guess I should. I promise I‘ll try to find a way to see you this week.”


“You better! Every minute without you is a torture. At least I still have my wet dreams to keep me company. I wonder what it’s gonna be tonight? School teacher, flight attendant, mistress of pain…”


“You’re pig, Spike.” She said lightly, obviously not meaning it.


“What can I say, luv… I’ve always been bad.”


“Yeah right. Bad, perverse, poet of my dreams.”


“All right. The bloody tosser’s coming towards me and pulled out his big bad stick. I think he’s ready to hit me upside the head if I don’t hang up.”


“Ok then. I’ll see you soon.”


“Bye.”


Spike hung up, and Buffy sighed heavily.


She jumped out of her skin when she heard the voice coming from the door way. “Poet of my dreams? How lame is that?”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Spike placed the receiver back and took a deep breath to collect himself.


The annoying cackle of the security guard’s laughter snapped him out of his Buffy induced musing. He gritted his teeth, trying not to hit the man.


“Got yourself a little girlfriend, Spikey?” The guard sing-songed.


The man must have seen the danger written plainly across Spike’s face because he took a step back.


“Mind your own soddin’ business, mate. Now, bring me back to my cell before I lose my temper and use my teeth to rip your throat out.”


The guard’s eyes narrowed in warning. He slapped the handcuffs on Spike’s wrists and pushed him roughly towards the door.


“Watch your mouth if you don’t want trouble, Spike. You already don’t have too many friends in here.”


**I have the only friend that matters, wanker.** Spike thought, a smirk forming on his lips. **Your boss**


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


“Dawn! Damn it, you scared me half to death.”


Buffy let out a relieved sigh when she realized it was only her sister. She remembered saying Spike’s name and someone like Giles, or anybody attending the party for that matter, except maybe Camille, would have known who she was talking to.


“God, Buffy. You really suck at keeping secrets. No wonder you ended up at the police station so often when you were younger. You just can’t do something bad without the whole world finding out about it.”


Buffy had the decency to look sheepish under Dawn’s scolding glare.


“I know. It was stupid.”


“Stupid?! All your coworkers are here! Anybody could have decided to come downstairs to play pool or something. You are so lucky it was me or you would have been busted, missy.”


Buffy didn’t answer, so Dawn went to sit next to her on the floor.


“So. Things are getting pretty serious with your hottie?”


“Yeah. I know it’s stupid, but it was kinda unavoidable. The spark between us was just too bright to ignore, even if we wanted to. Which we really don’t, no matter how risky the situation is.”


“Did you tell him yet?”


“Tell him what?”


“Duh! That you love him.”


“No, not yet. I’m not sure how he feels. He does seem to love me, and I do act like I love him, but you know me…”


“Yeah I do.” Dawn mimicked a whiney voice, making fun of her sister. “What if he doesn’t love me back? What if he makes fun of me? What if he runs away screaming? What if, what if, what if.”


“Don’t make fun of me, brat!”


“I’ll make fun of you if I feel like it, dumb blonde!”


They chuckled.


“I’ve never said the big ‘L’ word to a guy before, can you blame me for being a little scared?”


“No, I guess not. Have you… ya know.”


Buffy squealed and stuck her fingers in her ears. “Argh! Not talking about sex with my baby sister!”


“I’m 18, you doofus! I’m not even a virgin anymore. Stop being a baby and spill!”


Buffy pouted. “In my head, you’re still 12 and you’re still supposed to be having tea parties with your stuffed animals in the backyard. But to answer your question… No, we haven’t. Heavy making out sessions, but no sex. It kinda feels wrong, you know? When you finally meet the man that makes your heart do crazy flips, you dream of romance. Not a quick fuck on the couch in your office. Though if he keeps driving me crazy the way he has, it might happen soon enough.”


“I know what you mean. Sorry Buff. It really does suck. Have you tried anything to get him out of there yet? Anything that doesn’t involve kidnappings and crazy police chases all the way to the Mexican border?”


“I went to see a lawyer last weekend in L.A.”


Dawn got all excited. “And? What did they say? Was it good?”


Buffy shook her head. “No. It was bad. Really bad. As in ‘don’t waste your time’ kinda bad.”


“Oh. Sorry to hear that. They didn’t give you any hope at all?”


“Just said that unless I get a confession from the real killer, Spike better start decorating his cell cause he’ll live there for a long time.”


“Ok. Confession. That’s good… not. Do you even know who the real killer is?”


“Actually, I do. Now, don’t freak out, ok?”


Dawn gave her a perfect eye roll. “Whatever, Buff. You know I will. Go on.”


“Is name is Angel…”


“What kind of a gay name is that? Actually, no. That’s an insult to the gay community and I happen to have a few gay friends at school who would be horrified…”


“Do you mind? I’m telling you something here.”


“Sorry. You were saying?”


“His name is not Angel. It’s a NICKNAME you brain dead. Though how he got that nickname is beyond me but whatever. Him and his wife Darla are real low lifes. Trailer park trash kinda low. I saw the house where it all happened. I even followed them from a distance a couple of times over the past few weeks.”


“You did WHAT?!”


“I told you not to freak out.” Buffy warned her sister. “Anyway, I was really careful. I wasn’t surprised to find out that they hang out at that bar you mentioned should be burned down to the ground the other day.”


“The Fish Tank?”


“Yeah, that one. Real classy.”


“And Spike hung out with these people?”


“No. His girlfriend did. He just tagged along to please her. Which he now knows was a mistake.”


“The kinda mistake he’s gonna pay for the rest of his life.”


Buffy gave Dawn an cold smile. “Thank you so much for reminding me.”


Dawn looked away. “Insert foot in mouth.” The young girl mumbled.


Buffy’s glare soften. “What do you say we go back to the party before everybody comes looking for us? I can’t talk about this stuff anymore, it’s giving me a headache.”


The brunette perked up. “I know a good cure for that. Alcohol!”


“Another up side of Alcohol. You and Spike would get along quite well.”


Dawn gave her a curious look and Buffy just laughed.


“Never mind!”


“Let’s go then. I think the Dingoes are about to play. Should be fun.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I'd just like to thank everyone for you reviews. Believe me, it's not a waste of your time... It keeps me motivated to write more! So keep reviewing. And in case you didn't recognize the song at the beginning of the chapter, it's from Blondie, The tide is high

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A/N: Thank you so much for all the amazing reviews I got for this fic. I was so happy. Keep em coming!



CHAPTER 17: Unpleasant slumber



Dawn walked Giles to the door. He was the last one to leave after helping her and Buffy tidy up the house and the backyard. Anya was already waiting for him in his car. The nurse hadn’t been shy about expressing her desire to leave. But Dawn didn’t take offense. After only a day spent in the woman‘s company, she‘d already gotten used to her bluntness and didn‘t mind it.


“Thanks so much for helping, Giles. And sorry for Buffy’s lack of manners. Not her fault, she’s a light weight.” The youngest of the Summers’ women said, grinning.


Giles chuckled, glancing at his boss who was snoring lightly on the couch by the front door. She was curled up on her side, knees drawn to her chest protectively, and she was fast asleep.


“I don’t blame her. She had a tough day. Being the hostess can be quite demanding. Tell her I enjoyed my evening and I said goodbye.”


“I will.”


“It was really nice meeting you, Dawn. You’re just as lovely as your sister said you were.”


Dawn laughed. “You’re sure that’s what she said about me?”


“Maybe not in those words, but that’s how I interpreted it.” He chuckled, winking playfully at the girl.”


“Well you’re really nice too, Giles. And surprisingly not too stuffy for a British guy.”


He snorted. “I can see a definite similarity with your sister. But I’ll take it as a compliment.”


“I’m glad Buffy has you at the prison. Faith and Willow too. Her job would really suck if you guys were not there.”


“Yes. I’m afraid the rest of the staff gives her a hard time.”


“Look after her, ok? She might look tough, but she’s a big softy.”


Giles smiled at Buffy’s overprotective sibling. “I will, Dawnie. Good night.”


“Good night, Giles!”


She watched as his car pulled out of the drive way, then turned to her sleeping sister. She covered her with the afghan then went back to the kitchen to finish putting the dishes away, leaving Buffy alone in her dream world.


Buffy was tossing and turning restlessly on her bed. It was hot as hell and she wondered briefly what happened to the air conditioning. She pushed the covers back from her sweaty body, trying to get comfortable.


She felt very alone in the huge bed, despite the presence in the corner of the room. She couldn’t really focus, but she knew it was there. And it felt dark and evil. She knew she should be paying attention, should be trying to find out what, or who, it was, but it didn’t seem to matter. At least not at this moment. Right now, all she could think of was him. Spike. She needed him. Her entire body was craving him, her soul was calling to him.


She closed her eyes, trying to find some peace, but sleep was elusive; an unreachable goal. When she felt the bed shifting under someone’s weight, and a body hovering above hers, it felt like a soothing caress on her tensed nerves. She sighed in relief, knowing that everything would be all right. He was there. Spike.


“How did you get here?” She whispered to the man above her, her eyes still closed.


“Does it really matter?”


She finally looked at him, and couldn’t help the smile blooming on her lips. “No. I guess not. It’s just… I thought this would never happen.”


His hands on both sides of her head to support his weight, Spike lowered himself to nuzzle her soft cheek. “I thought so too. But either there’s a God up there looking out for us, or this is a dream. I like the first option better, personally.”


She ran her fingertips along his cheekbone, slowly down to his chin, admiring how beautiful he was in the moonlight. “I like the first option better too. If it’s a dream, I don’t want to know.”


He lowered his lips to hers, agonizingly slowly. His eyes were dark with desire, the blue almost black. She could easily get lost in his eyes, but there were things more urgent right now. Tasting his lips came to mind, undressing him being a close second.


Her hands moved on their own volition, finding the hem of his shirt while his lips were caressing hers. The weight of his body pressing her into the mattress was driving her wild with desire.


She had been waiting for this, had been wanting him to make love to her since the day they’d met. Waiting for the right moment had been torture, but it was finally happening and she didn’t want to delay anymore.


Lacking the patience to fumble with the buttons of his shirt, she pulled it over his head, revealing his perfect torso to her hungry gaze. He was so gorgeous that she could spend hours just looking at him without getting bored.


“God, Spike. Never in my life has someone had this effect on me. Want you so much, you have no idea.”


He knelt in order to get rid of his confining jeans. He took his time undoing his belt buckle and lowering his zipper. Buffy whimpered in protest, her patience wearing thin, but he merely smiled at her, one of those sexy smirks he was so good at. It made her blood boil in her veins. Once he was free of his jeans and completely naked, he took a moment to let his eyes travel over her naked body.


“You’re even more bloody perfect than I thought you could possibly be.”


Spike ghosted a finger over her flat stomach, her ribs, and circled one of her rosy nipples. “Buffy? I wanted so much to make this the perfect moment, but I don’t think I can wait, luv. Want you too bloody much.”


“It’s all right. I can’t wait either. Maybe you can take a rain check on the foreplay. I want you.”


She seemed fascinated by his erection, only taking her eyes off of it briefly to look at his face. The sight of her pink tongue darting out to moisten her lips shattered any self control Spike had. He lay back on top of her and she parted her legs for him, allowing his hips to rest between them.


Buffy couldn’t remember why she’d been so obsessed with waiting for the right moment and place. Any moment was amazing as long as Spike was there with her. She knew that now. In fact, she wasn’t even sure of where they were right now, couldn’t seem to remember. The place didn’t matter. What did matter was what Spike was doing to her with his hands and lips, making everything around them dim. All that was left, all she could see, was him.


She was vaguely aware of the presence with them in the room, but couldn’t bring herself to care. Somehow, Buffy knew she was in danger, but she wouldn’t hesitate to risk her life to be with him. To make sure he was free and safe in her arms.


She frowned at the strange thought. **He IS here, free and safe in my arms. Where the hell did that come from?**


She didn’t know how, wasn’t even sure if it was real, but it didn’t really matter right now. He was there with her. The prison was nothing but a bad memory that she eagerly pushed to the back of her subconscious.


“Spike,” She whimpered. “I thought you said no foreplay? Please… Need you. Now.”


He smiled against her neck. “Sorry, kitten. You just feel so good under my hands. I can’t stop touching you. Your skin… It’s like silk. Warm, vanilla scented silk. Can’t get enough of you.”


Spike shifted his hips until the head of his cock pressing against her swollen sex was entering her. He took his time, pushing agonizingly slowly inside of her. He wanted to enjoy the feel of her soothing warmth surrounding his aching erection.


With every inch of him filling her, her loneliness of the past couple of years receded; warmth replacing cold. She wasn’t empty anymore, he was with her.


He pushed all the way inside of her until his pelvis was pressed against hers. They stilled, trying to catch their breath and come to grip with the overwhelming pleasure they were giving each other.


They started moving as one, letting their bodies lead, letting their instincts tell them exactly what the other needed. Logical thoughts were banned from their minds and no coherent words passed their lips. But somehow, they understood the meaning of every single word, pant, groan and whimper.


Buffy saw the figure moving from where it was hiding in the shadow. She knew she should be scared, but she couldn’t bring herself to be. She should at least warn Spike, but when she opened her mouth to speak, the only thing that came out what a pleasure filled moan. So she forgot about it and concentrated on Spike’s hard cock moving in and out of her with an almost hypnotizing rhythm.


But it all came to a halt in the most brutal way possible.


It seemed to Buffy that everything happened at once. Realizing the figure was Darla, seeing the blade of the knife coming out of Spike’s chest when the other blonde woman standing behind him stabbed him in the back, feeling his blood dripping on her naked torso. Her eyes widened in absolute horror. But Spike just stared in shock at his blood slowly pooling on her stomach. He didn’t seem to be in any pain though.


Buffy was.


She could feel the bite of the knife as if she was the one who had been stabbed.


Buffy screamed.


Dawn rushed to her side, dishcloth still in her hands, eyes bulging out.


“My God! Are you ok?”


“Spike,” Buffy mumbled sleepily, still not completely awake. “He’s hurt. Oh God…”


“Buffy? Hello, earth to Buffy! It was a dream.”


“Huh?” She looked at Dawn as if she just noticed she was there. “Oh. Right.”


The blonde woman took a deep breath, trying to stop the shivering. “A dream, of course.”


“You’re lucky you didn’t wake up mom with your screaming.”


“Right. Mom.” She shook her head, trying to put some order in her thoughts. “Is everybody gone? What time is it?”


“Buff, you should go to bed. It’s really late. Try to rest. That Spike thing is really getting to you.”


Buffy got up and made her way to her bedroom. “Yeah… I guess it is.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


On the other side of town, Spike was sleeping too, his dream equally gruesome and disturbing.


William looked around himself, a little disoriented at first, but it didn‘t last. He recognized the place. In fact, he knew it very well since it was the mansion that had been witness to most of the main events of his childhood. The family house that he had shared with his mother and father near Brighton in his native England.


He frowned, taking in his surroundings. He was apparently in the room where his father, Ethan, entertained his guests. Mostly business partners and some old friends. Back in 1790, when the house had been built, this room had been reserved exclusively for the gentlemen and women were not allowed in it. Now in the 20th century, these rules didn’t apply anymore, but pretentious as he was, Ethan liked to maintain traditions. It made him feel somewhat higher in the ranks of society instead of the ‘nouveau riche’ that he really was. The only woman to ever come in this room was William’s mother, Cecily. He liked the room. It was at ground level and had a wonderful view of the garden, the windows going from floor to ceiling, velvet curtains on either side. The room was incredibly large, with leather couches and armchairs, and a wall entirely covered with books that neither Ethan nor Cecily had ever read. It was all for show. Everything in their lives was to try to impress.


William was sitting by the open window, looking outside. He had always felt oppressed in this house. At least when he was a child, he’d been able to escape every time he had a chance to go write his poems under his tree. But now, he was trapped in the house and knew that if he tried, he wouldn’t be able to leave. He had no idea why he was back in this house that he and his father had left behind so many years ago, but he didn’t like it. He felt like a prisoner in this place, a feeling he was quite used to by now.


He looked around. He knew he wasn’t alone in the room and wanted to see who it was. That’s when he spotted his mother sitting at the antic desk at the other end of the room. His father standing behind her had his arm around her waist and was nibbling on her neck. He knew it wasn’t them, mainly because instead of the brown curls of his mother, the woman’s hair was light blonde, and his father looked taller, his shoulders broader, hair darker. Darla and Angel. It was confusing, but to him, they were still Cecily and Ethan.


He knew his mother was probably going through the list of guests for one of her social gathering. Something she did quite often. Entertaining the elite of society was her main activity. Always trying to outdo herself in order to dazzle them. So the scene wasn’t unfamiliar to William. The only detail that was out of place was the gun sitting on the desk next to her, and the fact that he was trapped in the room. A chill ran up and down his spine, giving him a cold sweat.


A light knock on the frame of the open window made him jump. His eyes widened when he saw the young woman standing outside. Buffy.


“What the bloody hell are you doing here?” He whispered urgently. “It’s not safe!”


“I’m here for you, William. I want to help you get out of this place.”


“Buffy, you have to leave now. If they ever see you, know that you have anything to do with me, they’ll kill you.”


She gave him a comforting smile. “Don’t worry about me; I can take care of myself. I just can’t leave you in there all alone. I know what they did to you. I know they put you there…”


“Yeah, but if you get involved in my problems, you’ll end up dead. I’d rather stay here for the rest of my life and know that you’re safe, pet.”


Buffy frowned. “Don’t be ridiculous. I can’t just sit back and do nothing. I told you, it’s not my style. Now stop this and come with me before they hear us.”


“No!” He said, his voice a little louder now. “I want you to leave, now. Please. They did it once, they’ll do it again. I know it. Please go...”


He didn’t have to turn to know that they were standing behind him.


“Well, well, well, what do we have here? Our boy has a new lady friend, Ethan. Isn’t she darling?”


William turned and looked up at his mother who was wearing Darla’s emotionless face.


“Indeed, my love. She is quite pretty. She’ll be even more fun than Drusilla, don’t you think.”


William turned panicked eyes to Buffy who had already taken a step back.


“Run!”


She tried to get away, but Darla got her before she could go very far, the shot echoing in William’s ears. He watched helplessly as her body fell to the ground.


Spike screamed.


One of the guards stopped in front of his cell. “Hey! Quiet in there. You’re gonna wake everybody.”


Spike listen at the guard’s foot steps as he walked away, trying to calm his racing heart. Just a dream. It was just a dream…


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



CHAPTER 18: I come in peace



A very grouchy Buffy looked up from her fifth cup of coffee as her sister walked into the kitchen to make herself breakfast. She lowered her eyes, hoping to avoid a conversation with the ever perky Dawn. She didn’t want to talk about last night, explain why she’d waken up screaming, or why she’d been up since six in the morning and presently looked like something the cat dragged in. Besides, it’s not like that nightmare was a premonition or anything. Just her subconscious playing tricks with her and reminding her that she was a little scared about what was going to happen when she really got involved in Spike’s problems. Talking about it with Dawn would only freak the girl out and was unnecessary. But she knew the questions were coming. She could tell by the way her sister was looking intently at her while emptying half a cereal box into her bowl.


Dawn came to sit in front of her, and started munching noisily on her cereal. After she stuffed the third spoonful of Captain Crunch in her mouth, she tried breaking the heavy silence.


“So… Slept well?”


“Like a baby.” Buffy mumbled, hoping Dawn would drop the subject.


“Uh huh. If that’s what you look like after the recommended eight hours of rest, I so don’t want to see you after a short three hours night, plagued with nightmares and all that. Must be a scary sight.”


Buffy growled warningly at her sister, but Dawn wasn’t the type to give up easily.


“Wanna tell me what spooked you into screaming your head off last night?”


“Don’t remember.”


“Excuse me for not believing you, much. A nightmare about Spike? I think you wouldn’t forget so easily.”


“Dawn, can you drop it? It wasn’t about Spike, and I don’t remember it, ok?”


Dawn opened her mouth to protest, but stopped herself when Joyce walked in.


“Morning, girls.”


“Morning, mom.” They answered as one.


Joyce ruffled her younger daughter’s hair, and kissed Buffy on top of her head.


“Dawnie, you can’t seriously think this is a breakfast?” She looked at Dawn’s cereal boll disapprovingly. “Put that in the sink, I’ll make you girls a real breakfast.”


Dawn, who had been giving Buffy a funny look, shook her head. “Sorry mom. I have to go. But I’ll be back later this afternoon. I’ll buy pizza and we can all eat together before I go back to L.A.”


“Sounds good…” Joyce started to answer before being cut off by Buffy.


“Where are you going?”


Dawn shrugged, trying to look casual. “I have a couple of things to do. People to see.”


“People to see? You don’t know anybody in Sunnydale!”


“Sure I do! I met people at the Bronze last time I was here and we kept in touch. It’s not because you’ve been living here for three months and haven’t met anybody yet that we’re all social rejects like you.”


“Dawn, honey, leave your sister alone. She looks like she didn’t get much rest last night.” She said, giving her daughter an amused smile while pouring some more coffee in her cup.


Buffy rolled her eyes, but smiled back at her mom nonetheless.


“All right!” Dawn exclaimed while getting up. “I’m off. I’ll see you guys later.”


They watched her leave, then Buffy spoke up. “Mom? I wouldn’t say no to some pancakes, if your offer’s still good.”


A warm smile illuminated Joyce’s face, and she got up to do her favorite thing in the world: taking care of her daughter.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


“I need a piece of ID miss.”


Dawn handed the man her driver’s license, biting her lower lip nervously.


“What it the name of the person you wish to visit?”


She almost panicked. **Oh God, oh God! She told me his last name. Hold on. … It had something to do with weather. Sunshine? Cloud? Snow? Damn it! Oh… Rain?**


“Rain? William Rain.”


The guard looked at her with surprise and she almost passed out thinking she had the wrong name.


“Well that’s a first. Except for that one guy who comes to visit him once in a while, that guy doesn’t get many visitors.”


Dawn gave him her sweetest, most adorable smile. “I’m family. I just came back from Paris and didn’t even know something had happen to him. Can I... Can I go see him now?”


“Sure. You just have to give me everything you have on you, including cell phone, change, belt, and if you have a present for the prisoner, I have to inspect it. Then you’re free to go.”


Dawn gave her cell phone to the guard and took off her belt. “Is it like, behind a glass and I have to talk on the phone or something?”


He laughed. “No sweetheart. This is a very small prison and it allows us more control over personal visits. You'll be in a room where you can sit at a table with him. You have nothing to worry about though. The room is small, only allowing a few visits at a time, and there are two guards there at all times. We never had any problems.”


“Oh. Ok.”


He ushered her through the metal detector and another guard escorted her to the visiting room. She was told to sit at one of the table and that William would be there soon.


**Dawnie, you moron, you really did it this time. Not only is Buffy going to kill you if she finds out, but she’ll probably make sure your death is slow and painful. Oh God. What did I do?** The young woman was trying her best to look calm and collected, but inside, she was a mess.


Then she saw two guards walking towards her, escorting… A platinum haired god who was looking at her with obvious curiosity. She instinctively knew he was the one and understood completely why Buffy had lost her mind.


She stood up.


**Man, this is awkward**


The guards waited until William was seated, then went to stand in a corner of the room. Beside another prisoner who was with a visitor and the two guards, they were now alone.


When Dawn didn’t say anything, William finally broke the weird silence that had settled over them.


“Not that I’m not grateful for the company, ducks, but… Who the bloody hell are you?”


Dawn grinned. “Bloody hell? That’s so British!”


He gave her a look.


“Oh. Right.” She extended her hand. “I’m Dawn. I’m a…”


“The Dawn? You mean…”


“She talked about me?” Dawn asked excitedly. “I thought you two would have better things to do than talk about me. Wow. I’m flattered, really.”


Despite the girl’s good mood, Spike’s face suddenly darkened. He frowned.


“Bugger! Didn’t they ask for your signature and your ID when you came in here? She will go bug shagging crazy when the guards ask her why her sister came here to see me!!”


“Relax. Bu... WE, don’t have the same last name. Different dads and all. My father got my mom pregnant and disappeared not long after I was born, leaving me with his name on my birth certificate and nothing else. So really, no one will find out. And I chose today to visit you because nobody I met at the party yesterday was working today. So no chance of bumping into someone I know. See? I thought of everything.”


Spike gave her a warm smile, his fears sated for the moment. “So pet, why are you here exactly?”


“Doing my sisterly duties. I usually get to meet my sister’s boyfriends for approval. But since you’re here, I couldn’t.”


“And what does someone do to get your approval?”


“Oh… I couldn’t tell you because so far, none of the losers who dated her got the Dawn Seal of Approval.”


“Oookay.” Spike drawled, peering at the girl from between his tick eyelashes. “You’re making me nervous now.”


“Hey! Don’t worry. You scored really high on most of the categories as soon as you walked in.” She said with her brightest smile. But she suddenly got more serious.


“Look…” She hesitated before continuing. “Ok, let’s call her Anne ‘cause it’s her middle name.”


Spike nodded, waiting for Dawn to finish what she was saying.


“What I meant to say is that you became very important in my sister’s life over the past three months. The thing is, Anne’s luck in love hasn’t been shining bright in the past. She has a bunch of pretty catastrophic experiences that I’m sure she’ll be happy to share with you someday. But that’s not the point. I love her more than anything in this world and when I see her going gaga over a guy--which by the way, never happened before--I can’t help but feeling a bit over protective. Makes sense?”


“Absolutely, pet. And I’m glad Bu... Anne has a sister like you looking out for her. But you have nothing to worry about because I guarantee that…”


“Do you love her?” Dawn interrupted, shocking him into silence.


When he was finally able to speak again, he looked a little spooked. “Ok, hold on a second. You seem very sweet, and if you’re anything like your sister, you’re probably an amazing woman. But I have a hard time saying my feelings out loud when I’m alone in a room so I don’t see why you’d think I’d just confess to you when we met about ten bloody minutes ago!”


“Oh come on Spike. Can I call you Spike? Anne said it was your nickname.”


“Sure thing, pigeon.”


“It’s easy. Let‘s play a little game that Anne taught me when she was in College. Chocolate, love or hate?”


He gave her a puzzled look, but answered anyway. “Love.”


“Beatles, love or hate?”


“Hate.”


She opened wide eyes. “Really?”


He merely lifted a disdainful brow.


“Alrighty then. What about Black Sabbath then, love or hate?”


“Love.” He smirked.


“George Bush, love or hate?”


“Hate.”


“My sister, love or hate?”


“Love.” He frowned. “Oh. That’s what you meant by simple, right?” He looked down, slightly embarrassed by how easy she got it out of him.


“Damn right that’s what I meant.” She answered with a triumphant smile.


“You’re a clever little chit aren’t you? But what was the point of knowing how I feel ‘bout her?”


“I’ll just sleep better at night. Seriously Spike. You look like a nice guy. But I was a little worried that you were just a jerk who was trying to play with her feeling to convince her to find a way for you to get out of here. I’m still not entirely convinced, but I think you’re honest enough. Or maybe you just have a way of charming Summers women. I’m not sure. But know that if you ever hurt Anne on purpose, all the security guards of the prison won’t be able to stop me from hurting you. Got it?”


He nodded and finally smiled. “Thanks.”


Dawn frown, not sure what he was talking about. “For what? Threatening you?”


Spike chuckled. “No, pigeon, for being a good sister to Anne. For taking time to come meet me, for giving me a chance instead of spending all your waking hours trying to convince her that she’s lost her marbles and should stop seeing me. Thanks.”


She got up to leave and gave him a hug. “You’re welcome, Spike. I’ll try to come back to see you once in a while so you don’t feel too lonely in this nasty place.”


“I appreciate the thought, bit. Believe me.”


She waved as the guards took him away, then left. Buffy was going to rip her head off for coming here, but at least now, she knew why her sister was so smitten with this man.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


They were sitting on the couch in the basement; Buffy wrapped in a blanket, her mother sitting next to her.


“I have something to ask you… I know I shouldn’t talk about this because my friend made me promise, but I have to have your opinion. I’ve always turned to you for advice before and it’s hard keeping this to myself.”


“What is it, Buffy?” He mom asked, worry obvious in her voice. “Is there something wrong?”


“No. Not wrong. Or at least, not catastrophically wrong. Just not quite right.” She took a deep breath, not sure how to broach the subject without giving everything away. “I have this friend who fell for this guy. He’s perfect and it was love at first sight. You know… Kinda like in the movies? Anyway. He likes her too, or at least, she’s pretty sure he does. The problem is they can’t be together for a reason I can’t really tell you. Well, in theory, they could be together, but to get there, she’s gonna have to put everything she’s ever worked for in the balance. Risk losing everything. She’s never been in love before so she’s tempted to. But she doesn’t know if it’s worth it.”


Her mother‘s facial expression suddenly changed, a all knowing smile brightening her face as she found the truth behind her daughter’s words. “Buffy Anne Summers! Are you telling me you’re in love?!”


Buffy blushed bright red under her mother’s inquisitive stare, but she still tried to deny it. “Hey! I never said anything about me. I was talking about this friend of mine. You know? It’s a woman I know. From work…”


Joyce shook her head. “Honey, I’m sorry but you were always a lousy liar.”


Buffy pouted. “Damn it!”


“So,” Joyce asked excitedly. “Who is this man who captured my rebel daughter’s heart so I can hug him and thank him? Tell me everything.”


“I’m so sorry, mom. I can’t. It’s very complicated and I can’t talk to anyone about it. The more people know, the more risky it will get.”


“Is he… married?”


Buffy couldn’t help but laugh at this. “God no. Actually, that would be like a walk in the park compared to what’s really going on. Really mom, don’t ask me too many questions I can’t answer. I hate keeping secrets from you. Hell, that’s all I’ve been doing lately. I can’t talk to anyone. My friends, my family, my coworkers…”


“Does Dawn know?”


She was about to say yes, when she realized that her mother would most likely run to Dawn to discuss the new man in Buffy’s life and Dawn would probably spill everything she knew about Spike.


“No. She doesn’t. It’s better this way. God, I don’t know why I can’t just be happy and have a normal relationship with a man I love. Nothing is ever simple in my life.”


“I know sweetheart. But things will get better for you, I’m sure of it. Things will come together and someday, you’ll look back and laugh at all the drama. I don’t know what’s keeping you away from this man, but I’m sure you’ll find a way around it.”


“I just hope I’ll manage to do it without losing everything in the process.” At her mother’s worried frown, Buffy tried to smile. “Sorry, didn’t mean to worry you. I’m just overly dramatic today. It’ll pass.”


After a moment of silence, Buffy finally ask the question that was bothering her most.


“Mom, would you risk losing everything for the man you love?”


“… I did, honey. You’re father. I left everything behind for him. I loved him so much and your grandfather didn’t. Of course, now I know that dad was right about Hank, but that’s not the point. Back then, he was my world and I would have followed him anywhere he wanted to go. That‘s why I ran away from home to marry him.”


“Do you regret it sometimes?”


“Honey, don't be silly!” Joyce exclaimed. She looked pointedly at her daughter and reached out to place a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. “If I wouldn’t have left with Hank, I wouldn’t have you today. You and Dawn are the best things in my life. I don’t regret a thing.”


Mother and daughter smiled at each other.


“Sure, I didn’t go to college and became a lawyer like I had planned, but I know now that it wasn’t the path I was supposed to follow and I don’t regret it. I was supposed to get married, have a beautiful daughter, get divorced, take art classes, open an art gallery, meet another man, have another beautiful daughter, and have said man leaving me like the big coward that he was.” She laughed. “I certainly didn’t choose the easy path, but I don’t regret a minute of it. Even the heartaches. It was all worth it because it lead me to the life I‘m leading today and I love it. Wouldn‘t have it any other way, believe me. The choices you make with your heart, even when they‘re scary, will take you where you‘re supposed to go in life.”


She sighed and took Buffy’s hand, squeezing it comfortingly.


“Buffy, you obviously won’t tell me more about this young man that stole your heart, but let me tell you one thing. If you really love him, don’t let things get in your way. You’ll regret it later. The Buffy I know would fight for what she wants.”


“Don’t worry, mom. It scares me, but I will fight for him.”

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A/N: I'm sure you're all wondering when the action will start (not just the hot monkey sex, I meant Buffy getting Spike out of there) Don't worry, it's coming. Of course, there will be a lot of up and downs in this story, I have tons of great ideas. I hope you trust me. You do, right? Keep reviewing to give me your opinion. I love you all. You guys are the best. I promise to update soon.

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A/N: I officially have the best beta ever. She took time out of her busy Christmas planning to edit this chapter and the two next one, just to make sure you'd get it on time for Christmas. Linne, you rock!


CHAPTER 19: She did what?!


“How many times in your life did you tell a woman you loved her?”

Gunn almost dropped the heavy barbell he was bench pressing and Spiked grabbed it just before it would crush his friend’s chest. The black man struggled to stabilize it, then pushed it up to place it back on it’s support.

“You trying to kill me?”

“What?” Spike asked defensively. “It’s a genuine question.”

It was a beautiful day and some of the work out equipment had been placed outside so the guys could enjoy a bit of sun. Charles wiped the sweat from his eyes and sat up.

“Are you trying to have a girly conversation with me, man? Can’t you see I’m trying to be all macho here, lifting weights and sweating?”

“I’m sorry mate, should have remembered that the only bleedin’ conversation acceptable when you’re working out is how many girls you’ve shagged in your life. My bad.” Spike glared at his friend. “What’s wrong with telling me how many chits were lucky enough to hear the bloody ‘L’ words coming from the great Charles Gunn?”

Gunn shrugged. “Well… My mom heard it a lot.”

Spike shook his head, ready to give up. “’m talking about love interests, you pounce. Not your mum!”

“Fine! Let me think.” He pretended to think about it real hard, counting on his fingers. “My little neighbor when I was five, then there was Laura in high school who I dated for a few years, then Fred and just before ending up here, Gwen. Man that chick was hot as hell, and wild too. So, that’s four I guess. You?”

Spike looked away, a bit embarrassed about his love life. “One.”

“Just one? I’m shocked. I always pegged you for being the ladies man.”

“Looks like you were wrong.”

“Was it the one who died? Drusilla?”

“That’s the one. It didn’t go quite well when I told her the first time. The chit laughed in my face. She ruffled my hair like she would have done to a puppy and told me I was sweet. Of course, the fact that we’d only been on one date before I declared my undying bloody love to her didn’t help. She changed her mind later and decided I was good enough for her, probably because she needed me. But let‘s just say that love declaration isn’t a memory I cherish. I was bloody humiliated. ”

Gunn couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “After the FIRST date?? You’re always in such a rush, Spikey boy!”

“Sod off! I can’t help how I feel. Though now I’ll always be a little hesitant before getting on my knees in front of a woman and starting to read her poetry.”

His friend snorted in derision. “This conversation is getting girlier and girlier by the minute, you know?”

Spike ignored him. He picked up a barbell and started doing bicep curls.

“It’s not like it matters anyway, Spike. Might be a hell of a long time before you get to do a love declaration again. Unless of course you have a secret crush on Andrew.”

At Spike’s hateful glare, Gunn put his hands up in surrender. “Hey man, not judging! If that’s your thing…”

“Would you shut your trap, you poofter? Might be your bloody fantasy for all I know.”

Gunn laughed. “Yeah, you wish. Sorry Spike but this luscious ass is exclusively for the enjoyment of the female part of the population. Besides, I’m out of your league man.”

“Good. Cause you’re not my type anyway.”

Spike went back to his bicep curls, a smirk on his face. He was going to do it. What’s the worst that could happen anyway?

**She could answer ‘thank you’, she could laugh, she could tell me that it’s been fun but it’s all it was, she could…** No, he wouldn’t chicken out now. Time to get over his fear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“She did WHAT??!?” Buffy screamed into the phone.

“So huh.. You didn’t know then?” Spike asked sheepishly, regretting bitterly ever opening his mouth.

“That little BRAT!! What is she? Brain dead? I CANNOT believe she went to the prison to see you! How could she do this? She could put me in so much trouble! Someone could have recognized her. How would she have explained that, huh? HOW? Did she even think for a second? I can’t believe I trusted her with our secret! I can’t believe..”

“Luv, calm down. Take a breath. It’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad?!” Buffy asked, incredulous. She stood up and started pacing the length of her bedroom.

“At least she made sure no one she knows was working today. And she said you two don’t have the same last name. I’m sure no one will check. They have better things to do than to run a background check on people who visit me. And to be honest with you--it was nice to have a visit. The only visits I ever get are from my friend Clem. It gets kind of lonely in here sometimes.”

Buffy sighed, her anger deflating.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have freaked out like that. I’m just always worried that someone will find out about us. But still, she should have talked to me first. What did she want anyway?”

“Guess she just wanted a chance to meet her sister’s new boyfriend. Can’t blame the little bit. She cares about you.”

“I know she does. I just… I don’t know. It’s just weird. I would like it so much if you could meet my family, you know? Have a normal dinner with me, my mom and my sister, my mom playing the twenty questions game with you to make sure you‘re good enough for me. But instead, my little sister has to go to jail to meet you. Nothing is ever normal in my life.”

“I really liked her. She seems like a good kid. And smart too.”

Buffy chuckled. “Yeah, she really is. Stubborn as hell, but I love her. And if she managed to make your day a little better, then I love her even more.” She added softly. “I’ll try to see you tomorrow, ok?”

“I’d love that, pet. But if you can’t find a way, don’t worry about that. I don’t want you getting in trouble.”

“If I don’t find a way, I’ll email you to let you know.”

“All right. Good night kitten.”

Buffy blushed at the term of endearment. “Good night, I’ll see you soon.”

She let herself fall back on her bed and took a deep breath to calm herself down. This could have been catastrophic, but it was done now and there were no need for her to freak out. And she could be honest with herself and admit that she was glad Dawn got to meet Spike.

The phone rang again. Her home phone this time. She sat up to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hi auntie Buffy!!”

Buffy smiled, happy to hear the voice of her goddaughter. “Hi sweetie! What are you doing up at this time? Aren’t good girls supposed to be in bed by now?”

“Yes, but I’m not good. I’m baaad!” The little girl giggled.

She could here Cordelia whispering something to her daughter on the other end of the line.

“What’s up, Cam? Is your mommy being a brat again? You want me to scold her or something?”

“No. She let me call you to invite you to our super duper Christmas…”

Buffy almost laughed out loud when she heard Cordelia helping Camille with the word.

“… extravaganza. We’re gonna have a huuuge party with presents. I asked Santa for a lot of things and I hope he’ll bring everything. It will be so fun!! You’ll come, right? You don’t have to work in your prison with the mean people?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world honey. Isn’t it three weeks from now though? It’s a little early for Christmas, don’t you think ? ”

“Pfff. Christmas is never soon enough! Do you think the nice woman with the red hair will come too?”

“Willow? Well… That depends on your mom, sweetheart. And also on if Willow already has a party planned or not. But if you mom wants, I’ll ask Willow if she wants to come.”

“Cool! I have to go. Mommy says I have to brush my teeth or they’ll fall out.”

“Good night, Cam.”

“Night aunt Buffy!”

She waited until Cordelia finished giving her night time instructions to her daughter before speaking. “Damn, Cor, who would have known that motherhood would be your thing? I still can’t believe it, even after four years of witnessing it.”

“What can I say? I’m full of surprises. I even surprise myself most of the time. Anyway, Camille was so excited to invite you she wouldn’t stop talking and I‘m not sure she made any sense. Did you get any of what she said?”

“Christmas eve. Party. Presents. Fun. Yep. I think I got it.”

“You, your mom and Dawn can sleep over if you want. But if you guys bring food, make sure Joyce makes it, not you. Don’t want any food poisoning at my party.”

“Excuse me? Says the girl who made Xander puck his guts out on their first date?”

“Is it my fault if the fish was bad? They sold it to me that way at the grocery! Besides, I’m having a catering service take care of the food for the party. I don’t want any law suits.”

Buffy laughed goodheartedly. “Oh yeah, did you hear who Camille asked me to invite?”

“Willow? Yeah, I heard. That’d be fun. If she wants to come, her and her husband are welcomed.”

“Really? You don’t mind?”

“Why would I? We’re not ten year olds anymore. And I can admit that I was kind of annoying back then so I really can’t blame her for hating me. But if she’s cool with me now, I’m glad.”

“Well, she looked like she enjoyed talking with you at the party, so I’m guessing she’s cool with you. I guess I’m just stuck with a vision of mini-Willow and mini-Cordelia throwing rocks at each other in my head. It’s hard to forget you know?”

“No. Willow was the one throwing rocks at me. I was too busy screaming that she would ruin my expensive dress and my daddy would kick her daddy’s ass.”

They chuckled happily at the childhood memory. “Yeah, good times. Cor, I really should go to bed. I’m working tomorrow. But I’ll call you this week, promise.”

“All right. Good night.”

“Night-night!” Buffy replied jokingly before hanging up.

Buffy put her pillow over her head. Christmas. It would be Christmas soon. She so didn’t want to think about this. She’d be in L.A. having fun surrounded by her loved ones, and Spike would be eating a pathetic excuse for a Christmas meal, then watch a lame Christmas movie, surrounded by people who didn’t give a damn about him. Life sucked. She’d have to think of a good present to give him to make him forget the Holidays from hell.

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A/N: You've been waiting long enough. This chapter is for Rana, who asked for it so nicely (though it was written before she asked lol), as well as all of you who have been patient. See? You have to have faith in me! I hope you enjoy. Thank you for the reviews.



CHAPTER 20: Courageous people say it, so let's be brave



The guard replacing Giles--who had called in sick this morning--pushed Spike into the warden’s office.

She had missed him so much. It’d been a week since she’d told him she was going to see him the next day. A week of not being able to find a way to see the man she loved. Spike was finally standing in front of her and she couldn’t wait to be alone with him.

“Here ya go, Ms. Summers.” The guard hesitated, unsure. “What would you like me to do? Should I stay here?”

Buffy stood up from behind her desk. “It’s all right, Luis. You can go back to work. I’ll just contact security when I’m done with him.”

It sounded innocent enough, but to Buffy who knew exactly what she meant by being “done with him”, it couldn’t have sounded more incriminating. It required a tremendous effort for her to remain cool and collected, and to prevent her face from changing color, but she thought she did a damn good job, all things considered. As long as she didn’t look at Spike, she’d be fine.

She watched as Luis turned around and exited the office. They waited until he closed the door before looking at each other.

Buffy had decided that today was the day. After her conversation with her mother, she knew she couldn’t be a coward anymore. He had to know how she felt and what her plans were. Little did she know that Spike had made the exact same decision.

Feeling nervous, Spike tried to break the silence. He looked around the office, pretending to be interested in the changes. “Changed the décor, pet? It looks fantastic. Much better than…”

She crushed her lips to his, preventing him from finishing his sentence. She applied pressure on his chest until he was forced to take a few steps back. When the back of his knees hit the couch, he sat down and watched as she made herself comfortable on his lap. She straddled him, one knee on each side of his lean hips, her ass pressing against his already growing erection. It would be hard to have a conversation with her when her body was so close. But surprisingly, she looked like she wanted to talk too.

Buffy put her fingers to his lips to prevent him from kissing her again.

“I have something to say, Spike.”

“Actually, I needed to talk to you too.”

“Oh. Why don’t you go first then?” Buffy asked, trying her best to look casual despite the sudden increase in her heartbeat.

“No, pet. You can go first.”

“It can wait. You go!”

But as it often happens, they both got tired of the “you go, no you go” game and opened their mouth to talk at the same time.

“I’m in love with you…” “Buffy, I love you…”

Buffy and Spike froze, looking at each other in shock. They burst out laughing when relief washed over them, calming their fears.

Buffy spoke first. “Really?”

He looked down, playing nervously with a button of her shirt. “Yeah. I do. But like the big nancy that I am, I was too bloody scared to tell you. I was afraid you’d think it’s too soon.”

“I was scared too, you know. For different reasons. I’ve never told a guy that I love him while actually meaning it. It was always like, you know, when I’d be on the phone with my boyfriend, he’d say I love you, and I’d say me too because it was expected. But just coming out and really saying it because I feel it; that was scary.”

He gave her the warmest, most loving smile she had ever seen, just before kissing her forehead lightly. “Say it again.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Please.” He went to kiss her lips, but stopped, his lips so close that they were brushing against hers when she finally spoke the words.

“I love you, William.”

“I love you too, Buffy.”

In a flash, Buffy’s body was pressed against his again, her lips fused to his in a passionate kiss. Their tongues were exploring each other’s mouths as if it was the first time. Teasing, probing, caressing. They felt like they could never tire of it, refusing to break the contact to breathe, even for a second.

Her small body was moving above him and driving him wild with want. Spike let out a tortured moan and wrapped his arms around her to bring her even closer to him. The contact was too much, and yet, not enough. The harsh fabric of his prisoner’s uniform was rubbing against Spike’s over sensitive cock in a way that was sure to make him come fast.

They broke apart, panting and trying to catch their breath.

Spike rested his forehead on Buffy’s, his hands going to her hips to still her movements. “I’m sorry pet, but if you keep doing this, I’ll walk out of here with a wet spot on my uniform that will be hard to explain.”

She grinned mischievously. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to make sure not to spill anything on your pants.”

Spike’s eyes widened when she removed herself from where she was perched on his lap, and went to kneel between his legs.

Her hands wandered up and down his thighs, massaging the hard muscles. She lowered her head to nuzzle the hard bulge in his pants, and placed little kisses on it.

Spike inhaled sharply, realizing what she had in mind. “Buffy, pet, what are you…”

“Always wanted to know what you taste like.” She murmured against the fabric of his pants.

Her hands slid from where they were resting on his hips, to the front of his pants, nimble fingers working on the zipper until she succeeded at freeing his hard member. The sight of him made her mouth water in anticipation.

She looked into his eyes and licked the tip of his cock, enjoying the look of pure bliss on his handsome face. She took him in her hand and pumped him a few times, keeping the pressure light, and the strokes slow. She licked and suckled at the underside, then twirled her warm tongue around the head before taking him in inch by inch. Spike sighed and moaned in pleasure, his hips instinctively lifting up to get more of her.

She let him slip out of her mouth with a wet sound and gave him a saucy smirk. “Like that?”

Spike’s eyes widened. “Like? Are you bloody kidding? I love it, I love YOU. Don’t stop.”

She wrapped her lips back around his engorged penis and started sucking him with renewed enthusiasm.

Spike was taking deep breaths to calm himself, trying to hold back and not attract unwanted attention. It wouldn’t do to have his wildest fantasy come to life only to have it interrupted by the secretary walking in on them. This was the best thing that ever happened to him. The only thing even better than having Buffy’s lips around his cock, would be to be inside of her.

She pumped him with her hand while her mouth went lower to explore, deciding to pay some attention to his balls. She licked them and sucked them lightly into her mouth. Spike must have enjoyed the attention because he tensed in reaction and buried his bound hands into her soft hair to keep her there. Buffy indulged him by staying where she was, chuckling at his reaction.

Too soon, she could feel the muscles in Spike’s thigh tensing beneath her hand and his need to come made him whimper. The hand that was still stroking him slowed down. She didn‘t want him to come yet. She nibbled on his inner thigh, peppering kisses on his warm skin. Without a warning, she stood up, effectively shocking him out of his daze.

“What? Buffy…”

But before he had time to say anything else, she lifted her skirt around her hips and went back to her previous position in his lap. His eyebrows shot up in surprise when he realized she wasn’t wearing any panties.

“Naughty girl.” He whispered against her lips.

“Is--Is this ok, Spike? Do you want me? Tell me you do.” Buffy asked, suddenly feeling insecure.

He looked her in the eyes and she could see just how sincere he was. “I never in my life wanted anybody the way I want you Buffy.”

Taking his cock in her tiny hand, she rubbed her wet slit against the head a few times before sinking down on him.

She gasped loudly at the amazing feeling of him stretching her.

**should have done this sooner… What was I waiting for again?**

“Open your shirt, luv. I want to see you.”

She obeyed, unbuttoning her blouse with unsteady fingers, then opening the front clasp of her bra to expose herself to his hungry eyes. She put her hands on his shoulder to steady herself, then lifted her body up and sunk back down on him.

“Oh God, Spike. This is amazing. YOU, are amazing!”

He put his arms around her, careful not to get the handcuffs tangled in her hair, and pulled her close to him.

“You’re… God! You’re so bloody fantastic, luv--never felt anything like this--love you.”

“Love you too.”

They had been waiting too long for this. Both aroused beyond anything they had ever experienced, it didn’t take a lot to push them over the edge. Spike started lifting his hips off the couch to meet her every down trust, their speed increasing into a frenzy. She grounded down on him, rubbing her clit on his coarse hair, needing the release desperately.

Spike crushed his lips on hers to swallow her scream as she came. The clenching of her inner muscles drove him wild and with his hands on her narrow hips, he held her down as he emptied himself inside her body.

They closed their eyes and tried to catch their breath, coming down slowly from their orgasm. Spike was caressing her back in soothing circles.

“You are amazing, luv. You know that, right?”

“No, but I love to hear you say it.” She said, a shy smile stretching her now swollen lips.

Buffy busied herself by making him presentable again. She put his softening cock back into his pants, already missing the feeling of him but they didn’t have enough time for round two unfortunately. She took the time to lower her skirt over her thighs before finally looking back up at him.

“I’m so glad you came into my life, Spike. You have no idea.”

“Me too, pet. But…” He sighed. “Couldn’t I have met you a few years ago at a party in L.A., instead of now, in prison? We were living in the same city for bloody Christ sake! Don’t you feel like there’s someone up there laughing their bloody heads off at us?”

“I don’t know, Spike. Maybe it is fate that I came into your life at this time. Sure, it would have been better if we’d met before, but maybe we met now because I’m supposed to help you deal with life in prison. Or maybe even… help you get out of here.”

He looked at her like she’d grown a second head. “What the bleedin’ hell are you talking about? You can’t get me out. I have a life sentence. The key word in this being ‘life’. There’s nothing you can do for me.”

She disentangled herself from him and stood up. “Maybe there is.”

“Buffy. What are you getting at?”

She faced him. “Look, I don’t want to get your hopes up too much because if nothing ever comes out of this, it will hurt you. I mean, there’s really not much I can do. I even went to see a lawyer to find out what the options were, and there really isn’t a lot.”

“You went to see a lawyer? For me?”

She blushed and looked away. “Well… yeah. Why not? I needed to know.”

“Buffy, pet, look at me.” He waited until she turned her eyes to him before continuing. “Maybe I’m not the one who shouldn’t keep his hopes up. Personally, I know I’m here for life. But if you start thinking there’s a way of getting me out of here and it doesn’t work, you’re the one who’ll get hurt. So don’t.”

“She said--she said that the only hope for you was to get a confession out of the real murderer.”

Spike’s heart started beating faster. Flashes of the dream he’d had a few days ago flooding his brain with gruesome images. “And that WON’T happen because you’re not going anywhere near that wanker, hear me?”

It was his turn to stand up, too upset to stay seated any longer.

“I… I kinda already did.”

“You what?!”

“Now, don’t freak out, ok? It’s not like I went to knock on the door or anything. I just went to their house a couple of times, and followed them two or three times when they were going out. I was careful, they never saw me.”

“Are you out of your goddamn bloody fucking mind?! Do you have any idea what these people are capable of?”

Buffy frowned and took a step back. “I just…”

His attitude changed, he approached her quickly and took her face in his hands. He was white as a ghost, his face panic stricken. She understood his fear, but couldn’t let him win this one. The outcome was too important to both of them.

He could tell she was upset by his reaction so he soften his voice a bit. “Kitten, please, listen to me. It’s dangerous. If something happens to you, I’ll never forgive myself. Forget about all this, all right? I’d rather stay here for the rest of my life than know you’re risking your life for me.”

“What is it, Spike? You like it in here? We’ve made it cozy enough for you? Are you actually enjoying the powdered mashed potatoes with this gray stuff they call Salisbury steak? Sharing a cell the size of my walk-in closet with a deranged midget?..”

“So you met Snyder, huh?” He asked, unable to hide his amused grin.

She pouted. “Yeah. Unfortunately. And don’t change the subject.”

“Listen, Buffy. I’m sorry I reacted like this. I know you only want to help me. But Angel and Darla are dangerous and they won’t hesitate to harm you. As a matter of fact, they’ll bloody well enjoy it. Don’t get involved in this, ok? I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

She reluctantly nodded. She felt bad for lying to him, but someday, he’d thank her for it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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A/N: Two chapters in one day? lol Don't get used to it, you know it's not like me. But you deserved a Christmas present for reviewing so faithfully. Thank God my muse agreed with me!


CHAPTER 21: Joy to the bloody world



There was a knock on the front door. It was so light that Buffy thought for a second she might have imagined it. She put her lipstick down on her dresser and went to check just in case.

She was late for the party already. She knew that even if she sped all the way to L.A., she still wouldn’t make it to Cordelia and Xander’s by 5 o’clock like she’d promised. But they were used to her being late so it wasn’t such a big deal. She’d be late, but she’d look damn good. She was really happy with the dress she picked for the occasion. A black, tight fitting halter dress with the skirt ending just above her knees. There was a sparkling broche decorating the plunging neckline. It was perfect; sexy, yet festive.

After taking the time to smooth her hair down and put on her heels, Buffy opened the door. There in front of her stood a chubby looking guy, shuffling his feet nervously. The only word Buffy would have used to describe him would be adorable. The guy, who must have been in his mid twenties, had a mop of tousled sandy blonde hair, little ears sticking out from his head, double chin, and warm brown eyes. He was clutching a small box wrapped clumsily in Christmas paper between his chubby hands.

“Hi. Can I help you?” Buffy had no idea who he was.

“Huh, maybe you can. Are you Buffy? I’m looking for Buffy Summers. My name is Clem.”

Buffy stared at him with a shocked expression. “Are you--William’s friend by any chance?”

Clem beamed at her. “Yes! How do you know?”

She chuckled. “Well, Clem, I can’t say that I know a lot of people with an original name like yours.”

He looked down shyly. “It’s short for Clement.”

Buffy extended her hand to him. “It’s very nice meeting you, Clement. Wanna come in for a minute?”

“I don’t know. I’m sure Spike doesn’t want me to bother you.”

“Don’t be silly! Come in. It’s Christmas. And it’s not every day I get to meet Spike’s friends.”

She walked to the kitchen followed closely by Clem.

“Want something to drink?”

He shook his head. “I‘m fine, thank you.”

She pointed at bowls full of holiday snacks on the breakfast bar.

“Something to eat then? As you can see, my sister and I had an early Christmas celebration, which explains the chips and dips and the Cheetos.”

“Yes, that’d be swell! Thanks.”

Buffy poured herself a glass of red wine and went to sit on a stool next to Clem. “So, what brings you here?”

“Here,” He said through a mouthful of Cheetos. “This is from Spike.”

He handed her the box he had been holding on to.

“It’s a Christmas gift.” He pointed out even thought the wrapping already gave that away.

Buffy’s jaw dropped and she just stared at the box in confusion. “How did he…”

“I bought it. But with his money.” He added quickly, too polite to take the credit for his friend’s gesture. “I’m taking care of his money for him. His father died two months after William was put into jail and he left him all his money. Which is surprising cause they really didn’t get along. The man had issues… God bless him.”

He took a chip and dipped it in the sour cream and chives dip before shoving it in his mouth.

“So you chose a gift for me?”

“Nah. Spike did. I went to visit him and brought a couple of magazines with me. He chose what he wanted for you and I just bought it. I hope you’ll like it. It’s real pretty, you’ll see.”

Buffy’s eyes filled up with tears at the thought that Spike would do that for her.

“Hey now, don’t cry! I don’t know what to do when ladies cry.”

“Sorry, Clem.” She tried putting a smile on her face. “It’s just that I can’t believe he got me a present. Not that I didn’t think he would want to, just didn’t think he’d find a way. Thanks for helping him.”

“No problem, Buffy. You seem really nice and you make my friend happy. Well, as happy as someone can be when he’s in jail… Aren’t you going to open it?”

“Huh, no. If you don’t mind, I’d rather wait until I’m with him.”

“Oh, that makes sense. I hope you’ll like it.”

She put the small box on the counter and took another sip of her wine, trying to calm her racing nerves. Suddenly, being late to Cordelia’s party didn’t seem so bad. She had a chance to talk to a friend of Spike and that made her happy.

“So, do you live in Sunnydale?”

“Nope. I live in L.A. That’s where Spike and I meet. We went to school together. We were really close. We had a lot of fun together. We’d play poker in my dorm room with a few other guys. William was a real swell guy. Still is. Too bad he met that evil woman who convinced him to drop out of school. I always knew she was trouble.”

“You mean, Drusilla?”

“Yeah. She was scary. Always said weird things. I couldn’t understand how a nice guy like Spike could put up with her, but I don’t judge him. I just wish he would have listened to me though. He wouldn’t be in prison right now if he had. It’s too bad.”

“Yeah…” Buffy answered quietly, lost in her thoughts. “It is too bad.”

“I tried to keep in touch when he moved to Sunnydale but Drusilla was keeping him busy so it was difficult. Plus, I had school. But when he called me to tell me what happened, I went to court to support him. They asked me for my testimony, but I’m afraid me telling people how William was such a good guy wasn’t enough to keep them from locking him away. I know he didn’t do it, you know?”

“Yes. I think anybody who really get to know him would never believe he killed this woman. But don’t beat yourself up. At least you had the guts to speak up for your friend. I’m sure that means a lot to him. And you’re the only one who visits him. I’m glad he has you.”

Clem turned bright red, the tip of his ears pink with embarrassment.

Buffy smiled warmly at him and stood up. “I’m sorry but it’s 5 o’clock already. I was supposed to be in L.A. at 5. My friend Cordelia will probably serve my guts for dinner because I’m so late.”

“Ok. Well, It’s was nice meeting you, Buffy. I’m glad Spike found a nice girl this time.”

She laughed good heartedly and hugged him.

“And I’m glad he has a nice friend like you. You can stop by any time you want.”

She waved as he walked away, then ran back inside the house to get her over night bag and the box full of presents she was bringing to L.A..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dawn was on a mission. There was a determination to her step as she walked through security, the bright red skirt of her festive dress floating around her legs. She was a splash of color in the gray world of the prison. The huge package she was holding in her arms had been unwrapped by the prison staff so they could check the contents, and wrapped again.

Her mission was simple enough. Visit Spike, give him his present, and make sure he’s not too depressed on this supposedly joyous day of the year. Then report to L.A. for Cordelia’s Christmas party.

Buffy had been worried about him. Not only was it his first Christmas in prison, but she hadn’t been able to see him for the past two weeks. She hated the idea that he’d spend Christmas all alone. So after scolding Dawn for visiting him three weeks ago, she asked her to do it again. According to Dawn, that wasn’t very logical. But then again, Buffy rarely was. So Buffy had made sure that no one who knew Dawn would be working the Christmas eve’s shift, and here she was. Bearing presents for the lonely convict.

Spike walked through the door with the guards, and Dawn automatically went to hug him.

“Merry Christmas, Spike!”

“Happy Christmas too you too, Little bit. What’s a lovely girl like you doing in a depressing place like this on Christmas eve?” He asked, sitting down at a table. “Shouldn’t you be in L.A. with big sis?”

“I’m playing Santa today.” She said pointing at the huge package on the table. “See? I even have the red dress.”

Spike chuckled. “Yeah, you look smashing, bit. Be careful, the guards are real bloody perverts here.”

Dawn blushed at the compliment but laughed when she realized one of the guards was looking her way. “Oh, I see what you mean.”

Spike turned in his chair and gave the guard a threatening look.

“Anne and I figured that it wouldn’t be such a great Christmas for you and we wanted to make it a little better. She was really depressed that she wouldn’t be able to see you. So we went shopping.” She pushed the package in Spike’s direction, sliding it across the table. “I think we went a little overboard.”

Spike’s smile disappeared as he stared at the package in front of him. He needed to gather all the self-control he had, not to start crying like a baby in front of the girl. But despite his best effort, his eyes shone with unshed tears.

“Spike?” Dawn said softly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

He forced a smile before looking back at her. “No, Dawnie. I’m not upset. Just shocked. I thought nothing good would happen today. I guess I’m not used to people giving a damn about me, is all.”

“Come on! Open it!” Dawn clapped excitedly. “You’ll see, there’s a lot of smaller gifts, some stuff we thought you might need, and a couple of cool things too.

The package was a large basket, wrapped in shiny paper and tied at the top with a large bow. He opened it quickly, curious to see what they gotten him. This felt like Christmas. Not that he didn’t think Buffy could do something like this, but it honestly never crossed his mind that she would. She was so angry when Dawn visited him last time, that he never thought she’d send the girl to see him again. But he wasn’t going to complain.

The basket was filled with a lot of different things, going from magazines, to cartons of cigarettes, bottles of bleach, and chocolates. It also had more expensive presents like a silver pen with his name engraved on it, the most beautiful leather bound journal he had ever seen, a silver lighter with an inscription saying: Love, always, B. a first edition of Beaudelair’s poetry, and fun things like a Game boy with a few video games. Everything to entertain him.

Dawn leaned over the table and whispered: “Look under the cover of the journal, there’s a surprise. But make sure no one ever finds it, ok?”

He did as she told him and found two pictures. One of Buffy by herself, and one of Buffy, Dawn and a lady he assumed would be their mom. He quickly hid the pictures back so no one would see them.

“I don’t know what to say, luv. This is bloody amazing what you and Anne did for me. Thank you.”

Dawn felt bad for the man sitting in front of her. He seemed so upset and she didn’t know what to do to make it better.

“Are you gonna be all right?”

“I’m fine pet. I’m more than fine, believe me. Just a bit emotional because this means so much to me. But don’t worry, I’m not always such a blubbering poofter. I’m usually much more manly.”

Dawn grinned at him. That’s when the guards decided it had lasted long enough.

“Let’s go, Rayne. Enough Christmas joy for you today.”

Spike rolled his eyes, but knew better than to argue with the guards. He stood up and went to hug Dawn. “Tell your sister I love her and I wish her a happy Christmas, ok?”

“I will.”

“Have fun at your party, Nibblet.” He added while already being taken away.

“Thanks. Merry Christmas, Spike!” She answered, but he was already gone. Her heart broke for him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first thing Buffy did when her sister walked into the Harris’ home, was to pull her aside. She led her to Cordelia and Xander’s bedroom and closed the door. The sisters sat on the bed, side by side.

“So, what happened? How was he? Did he like the presents? Did you have a hard time with the guards? They didn’t take anything away did they? Tell me.” Buffy asked without taking a breath.

“Whoa, hold on would you? One thing at a time. No, I didn’t have a problem going through security. They checked the package in case I was bringing him a nail file so he could cut the bars of his cell and escape, but when they didn’t find anything dangerous, they let me go.”

“How was he?” Buffy asked in a quiet voice, a little calmer now.

“Well. Spike was really happy to see me, that’s for sure.”

“But?” Buffy asked her sister, sensing it coming.

“But he was really upset. Ya know… First Christmas in jail and all. You could tell he wasn’t expecting to see anyone today.”

At Buffy’s stricken face, she quickly added: “But it was the good kind of upset! He was so happy about the presents. Especially the pictures I think. He got all teary eyed when he saw them. And the book, he really loved the book. He couldn’t believe you remembered it was his favorite growing up. He also thought he’d have hours and hours of fun with the Game boy. He said it was a ‘bloody brilliant idea’.”

This made Buffy smile.

“I knew he’d like that!”

“And he said he’d use the journal to start writing his book. Something about his life I think he said.”

“That’s really great.” Buffy said, trying to be happy. But her face crumbled and she burst into tears.

“Oh, Buffy! Don’t cry, you’ll ruin your make up and everybody will wonder why your eyes are red and puffy. Come on… He was happy. Doesn’t that make you happy?”

“Y..yes!” She hiccupped pathetically. “But I love him and he should be here!”

“I know, honey.” Dawn said, rubbing soothing circles on her sobbing sister’s back. “It’ll be ok, you’ll see.”

Neither of the two women noticed Cordelia slowly opening the walk-in closet’s door and stepping out of it with a pair of shoes in her hands.

Buffy finally looked up when she heard Dawn say: “Shit!” and saw her friend staring at her in silence.

She sat up and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Cordelia…”

“Why didn’t you tell me, Buffy?”

“I didn’t want to get the speech. You know the one about how stupid I am?”

“You didn’t want to get ‘the speech’. Geez, sorry but it’s coming. It’s right there waiting to come out of my mouth.”

“I love him, Cordelia. I’m sorry if you think that makes me an idiot. I can’t help it.”

“Ok. Fine. Let’s say you do love him.” She said while coming to sit next to Buffy and Dawn. “Then what? You’ll marry a convict and you’ll see him once a month in the spouses visit trailer? Oh yeah… after you lose your job, of course. Seriously, Buffy. Isn’t the guy in prison for the rest of his fucking life?”

“I’m working on it.” Buffy answered grimly.

Cordelia chuckled humorlessly at her friend’s answer. “You’re… working on it?! Doing what?”

“You’re being a bitch, Cordy. You’re supposed to be my friend in case you forgot. This attitude you have right there? That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

“Buffy?” Cordelia took Buffy’s hands in hers, forcing the blonde woman to look at her. “I’m being a bitch BECAUSE I am your friend. I might not know all the details, but this sounds like a guaranteed broken heart to me. Now tell me, what is this thing you’re working on exactly? Maybe it’ll convince me that you haven’t completely lost your mind.”

Buffy knew that it would convince Cordelia of the exact opposite and that she would probably try to have her locked up in a mental institution after she told Cordy about her plan, but she said it anyway.

“The guy who committed the murder that William has been accused of lives in Sunnydale. His name is Liam MacAlister. Him and his wife Darla don’t even know I exist, or that I have anything to do with William. I’m planning on trying to get into their social circle. I was told the only way to prove that Spike is innocent is to get a confession, and I will get it. I’ll make them trust me, and then I’ll find a way to get what I want.”

Cordelia looked pale. “Oh God. My best friend has gone insane,” She stated quietly, shaking her head. “Buffy, if that crazy son of a bitch was really crazy enough to kill that girl like you said, that means he certainly won’t hesitate to do it again. Especially if it’s someone who threatens to reveal his secret and send him to jail. Buffy, I know I can be harsh with you sometimes, but I DO love you, blondie. I would hate for you to get yourself killed for some guy.”

“What would you do if Xander was rotting in jail by mistake, Cordy?”

Cordelia didn’t hesitating a second. “He’s not just some guy, he’s ‘the one’”

Buffy didn’t answer. She just looked at Cordelia without a word, her eyes filling up with tears.

“Sweet Jesus Buffy!”

“He’s innocent and I’ll prove it. Even if it kills me.”

“Yeah. That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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CHAPTER 22: Not feeling so trust worthy


Buffy looked around before taking a sip of her beer straight from the bottle. They hadn’t even offered her a glass. Probably a good thing if she didn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb in that dive they called a bar. Her first thought had been to order a Cosmopolitan--her drink of choice--but the bartender at The Fish Tank probably didn’t even know what that was. And since the idea tonight was to blend in, she had looked around and ordered what everybody was drinking: beer.

She felt as out of place in the dark, rank bar as one can be, but she did her best to hide her discomfort. To the casual observer, the blonde girl in too tight faded jeans, black stiletto boots and simple black tank top was just another chick looking for a good time. But Buffy had a very specific reason for being there. She wanted a closer look at Angel and Darla. And since it seemed like this was the only place they ever frequented, her chances of seeing them there were pretty good.

Of course, Cordelia hadn’t been too thrilled to see her leaving so soon after Christmas, especially knowing that the reason behind Buffy’s early departure probably had something to do with Spike. But her friend had the decency to not say anything in front of Joyce. Buffy was grateful to her for this. Now, she was back in Sunnydale and ready to start her secret mission. She wouldn’t sit back and wait any longer. She had to act. Spike was not going to spend another Christmas in jail, ever. At least, not if she had something to say about it. She planned on becoming a familiar face at The Fish Tank. This way, the day she decided to finally approach Angel and Darla, it wouldn’t seem too odd. The last thing she needed was for them to put two and two together and find out that she’d been following them. If she was just another regular at the bar, they wouldn’t be asking questions.

Buffy’s head snapped up when the chair facing her was pulled. She let out a breath of relief when she saw that it was only Faith. She had to relax. She was so nervous that it probably showed on her face.

The brunette slumped on the chair and snickered. “Damn, B. You’re full of surprises, aren’t you? When you called me and asked if I wanted to meet you here, I thought you were making fun of me. This shit hole so doesn’t look like the kind of place where you’d hang out.”

Buffy smirked, before taking a swig of her beer. “And what IS my type of place, according to you?”

She had called Faith at the last minute to ask her to tag along. Buffy didn’t feel confident enough to go to the bar on her own. It was stupid, but she’d always gone to clubs and bars with friends in the past. She wasn’t one of those confident women who just sit behind the bar on their lonesome self, not giving a damn what anybody thinks of them. She thought it would be best if she’d take someone with her, at least for the first time. And Faith seemed like the best choice. Plus, Buffy enjoyed her company. The girl was a little rough around the edges, but fun. And she could teach her a thing or two about how to behave in such a place in order to get respect.

“Don’t know. Some posh place, filled with people that look nice, smell nice, and drink those fancy cocktails with a cherry and a straw. A place where folks whose annual income has at least six zeros go to socialize without having to deal with the scum. Somehow, I thought you were too classy for The Fish Tank.”

“Prejudice, Faith. I thought we were past that first impression?”

“Hey, I didn’t say you were stuck up. If you weren’t cool, I wouldn’t be hanging out with you. I’m not really a people person, in case you haven‘t noticed.”

Buffy laughed. “No kidding!”

“What I’m saying is, I think you’re too good for this place. That’s why I was surprised as hell when you called.”

“Believe it or not, I’m not the happy hour martini kinda girl. I’d much rather spend my evening here than sip on a cocktail and discuss philosophy with pretentious jerks. Here, the beer is good, the music is loud, and I don’t have to dress to impress. I can be myself.” She smiled warmly at the other woman. “There. Now, you know my little secret. Buffy Summers hangs out in dives.”

Faith gave her in incredulous look. “You’re too much, you know that?”

Buffy really hated lying to Faith. She was the first one who had befriended her and she could see that the brunette trusted her completely. But it wasn’t a big lie. She did avoid the more upscale bars in favor of more down to earth places. But she still would have never set foot in a place like this one if it wasn’t for her ulterior motive.

A big guy walked up to them and made a lewd comment, hoping to get lucky. Unfortunately for him, Faith’s sharp mind had a rude come back all ready for him, effectively breaking any kind of hope he might have had to get laid. But while Faith was busy rebuffing the jerk, Buffy spotted what she was looking for. The petite blonde woman she now referred to as Darla-the-whore, and the tall dark haired man, also known as Angel-the-murderer.

Something must have shown on her face, because Faith asked her if she was OK.

“You’re looking a bit pale there, B. Something wrong?”

She tried her best to smile at her. “Nah. I just thought I saw my ex. It’s not him though. Thank God.”

“Bad break up?”

“Yeah, I guess you can say that. He was a psycho.”

“I’ve dated my share of psychos, so I know how that feels. Why do you think I’m single? Hot chick like me flying solo, there’s gotta be a damn good reason, right?”

Buffy chuckled, trying to make it look like she was paying attention to what Faith was saying while still keeping her eyes on the couple across the room.

Darla was leaning against the jukebox while Angel was picking a song, and her high pitched laughter could be heard all the way to where Buffy and Faith were sitting. She was wearing a very short Catholic school girl skirt and a red t-shirt that showed too much cleavage, and her shoulder length, thin blonde hair was down.

**A grown woman dressing like a fifteen year old, how very pathetic** Buffy thought to herself.

“That bitch defines the word skanky. Did you see her? She should get her ass kicked just for wearing that.”

Buffy grinned. “Just what I was thinking.”

She winced at Angel’s choice of song, rolling her eyes when she recognized it. Other patrons gave annoyed looks to the man by the jukebox, but he didn‘t seem to notice.

Oh Mandy well,
You came and you gave without taking,
But I sent you away.
Oh, Mandy well,
You kissed me and stopped me from shaking,
And I need you today.
Oh, Mandy!

“Mandy?!” Faith exclaimed, outraged at the man’s bad taste. “Someone should knock that idiot unconscious for imposing this piece of crap on us.”

“Amen to that.” Buffy laughed, even thought she didn’t feel as amused as she let on. She couldn’t take her eyes off the happy couple. Angel was mouthing the words of the song to his wife. They didn’t have a care in the world. It just strengthened her resolve to take them down. It would be torture to pretend to be friendly with them, but she’d do it. She’d do whatever it took. She just had to wait for the right time.

“Buffy?”

Snapping out of her thoughts, she turned her attention to Faith who was now sitting side ways on her chair, her back against the wall and her legs stretched out in front of her. She was looking intently at her, obviously waiting for an answer to a question Buffy hadn’t heard.

“Sorry, what?”

“I said, do you want another drink?”

Buffy finally noticed the waiter standing next to their table, looking down Faith’s top unashamedly. The brunette didn’t seem to mind too much.

“Huh, yeah. Another drink would be great. Thanks.”

Faith was uncharacteristically silent for a moment. When she spoke, her good humor was gone.

“B, I just wanted to say thanks for being so nice to me even after what I’ve done. I thought you’d be more hesitant to hang out with me, you know?”

The confused look on Buffy’s face was genuine. “What are you talking about? What did you do?”

Faith opened her eyes wide, shocked that Buffy wouldn’t know. “You mean you don’t know? I’d thought that having big mouth Barbie working in your office, you’d be aware of all the gossip.”

“Well, Harmony and I don’t talk that much. What is it I should know?”

Faith seemed flustered. “I guess I should keep my trap shut if you don’t already know, but you’ve been a good friend since you started working at the prison and I want to come clean with you. I got the last warden fired. I’m the snitch who went to the authorities to report him.”

“And that’s bad? The guy was stealing money from the prison…”

**Guess it is bad in a way,** Buffy thought. **If she ever finds out I’m sleeping with one of the prisoners, she probably won’t be so friendly anymore…**

“Yeah, it is a good thing that I told. Nobody else had the guts to do it. But the reason why it’s bad is that Wilkins trusted me. He was my friend and my protector and I backstabbed him. That’s why I was worried that you wouldn’t trust me to be your friend. Let’s just say I don’t have the best of history with wardens.”

“Why do you say that? Is there something else?”

“I also dated the one before him.”

Buffy didn’t know what to say to this. “And… It didn’t end well? Wait. It wasn’t the one who..?”

“Offed himself?” Faith supplied helpfully. “Yes. Robin Woods. First man I’ve ever loved. Selfish bastard did it in my apartment. I had to move out after that, I just couldn’t sleep there anymore. The guy had issues, things he couldn’t deal with, including his mother being killed in front of him when he was a kid. He could never get over that. Unfortunately, people didn’t know all this and they started rumors saying that I pushed him over the edge. That’s when Wilkins arrived and took me under his wing.”

“Is that why you feel so guilty over reporting him?”

“Wouldn’t you?”

“I guess. But they guy was evil, Faith. I understand you feel like you owed him something, but at the same time, you’re not responsible for his actions. And knowing that won’t stop me from trusting you or being your friend. You did the right thing. People are quick to judge.”

“That, they are.” Faith finally managed to look Buffy in the eyes. “Thanks. Means a lot what you said. I promise to never let you down.”

“And I promise not to give you a reason to have to report me.” Buffy chuckled at the look on Faith’s face.

“Ha, ha. Lil’ Miss Muffet is a funny girl. Who would have known.”

**Yeah, I'm worthy of her trust alright.** Buffy thought sourly, trying to hide her sudden worries behind a smile **I already did give her a reason to report me. Let's just hope she never finds out.**

Buffy looked around the bar to try locating Angel and Darla, but with no luck. They were gone.

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CHAPTER 23: Caught in a tangle


She was nervous. Very, nervous. When she’d asked Giles to go get Spike, he hadn’t said a word, he simply obeyed, but he did so with a frown on his face. Buffy knew he was probably starting to find the frequency at which she met with the prisoner suspicious. She knew she had to be more careful, but to be fair, she hadn’t thought Giles would be working. He wasn’t supposed to. But neither was she. She was supposed to be on holiday the entire week between Christmas and New Year, but hadn’t been able to resist seeing Spike. She still hadn’t opened his gift and she was dying to. She had missed him terribly the last weekend and needed to spend some time with him, even if it was just a few minutes. So she’d shown up at work, justifying her presence by saying she had some paperwork to attend to, even though Willow had kept things running smoothly in her absence.

She looked great. Something Giles hadn’t failed to notice. Too good for work, as he not too subtly mentioned. But she justified her cheerful outfit by saying she was going to a dinner right after and wouldn’t have time to change. He seemed to buy it. Her hair was down and fell in soft curls on her shoulders. She had on a light pink, off the shoulder sweater and a gray skirt with a black and pink lace trim that fell in soft waves around her knees. The look was completed by high heeled Mary Janes in a darker shade of gray. Girly, yet sexy. She looked amazing and it was all for Spike. She thought he needed some holiday cheer.

There was a knock and Buffy looked up from a file she was reading, just in time to see the door opening and Spike being led inside by Giles.

“Here he is, Buffy. I’ll be in my office if you need me.”

Before she could answer, Giles had left the office, closing the door behind him. Spike frowned.

“The bloke’s getting rude. The American culture must be rubbing off on him. Poor bastard.”

Buffy pouted, but it was obviously only for show. “We’re not all rude, you know. Besides, I don’t think you should laugh. I’m actually worried that he might suspect something is going on.”

Buffy stood up and went to lean against her desk. Spike gave her an appreciative look, obviously approving of the outfit she picked for him. He forgot for a minute what the conversation topic was all about.

Snapping out of his daze, he finally got his voice back. “What makes you think that, pet? He could just be in a bad mood. Not everybody loves the bleedin’ holidays.”

“I guess you’re right. I could just be really paranoid. But when I told him I needed to see you because Snyder complained to Willow that you were threatening him and he was scared for his safety--”

Spike smirked, clearly amused.

“--Giles just took his glasses off, cleaned them with his handkerchief, and he remained silent for the longest time, just giving me that look… I can’t really explain it. But when he cleans his glasses like that, it’s because there’s something on his mind.”

Spike tilted his head to the side to look at her. “Are we going to waste the little time we have together talking about good old Rupert, or do you think we could find something better to do? Cause if you’re out of ideas, I have a few of my own.”

Buffy smiled shyly at him and opened her arms in a welcoming gesture. He didn’t hesitate, coming to stand in front of her, enjoying the feel of her arms wrapped tightly around him, and her warm lips caressing his.

When she finally broke the kiss, it was to ask with a tiny, little girl’s voice: “Can I open my present now?”

With a mischievous glint in his blue eyes, Spike took a step back and reached for the buttons of his shirt. “Sure thing, pet.”

She laughed and swatted at his hands. “Not that one!” She reached behind her on the desk and took the little box wrapped in gold paper. “This ONE!”

“Bugger! And I thought I was gonna get lucky.” Spike joked. “C’mon pet, open it. You’ve been bloody patient enough already. You shouldn’t have waited. You could have opened it at home.”

“Nah, it wouldn’t have been the same. I wanted you to be there.”

She tore through the paper, and he could easily imagine what she might have looked like as a little girl, sitting by the tree, opening her presents on Christmas morning.

Buffy carefully opened the velvet box and stared in wonder at its content. “Oh my God, Spike… I mean… Oh my GOD! This is gorgeous!!”

Her eyes watered and she outlined the diamond and ruby encrusted heart shaped pendant with the tip of her fingers.

The shy and insecure poet hidden somewhere in Spike made a brief appearance as he looked down at his hands, unsure of himself.

“So you like it then? Cause if you don’t, it’s OK. I can ask Clem to take it back and you can choose something else.”

“Are you crazy? I absolutely love it. I’ll never take it off, I swear.”

“Well put it on, then.” He said, happy that she liked his gift.

She did as he asked, putting the pendant around her neck. The sweater she was wearing was perfect to showcase the sparkling jewel.

“You’re breathtaking, Buffy.” He whispered reverently against her lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.”

She hopped on her desk and they kissed passionately, pouring all their emotions into the act. Getting frustrated by his handcuffed hands, he broke the kiss to put his arms around her. His hands instinctively went to play with her silky golden tresses. He dragged his lips down her jaw, all the way to her throat, lavishing her warm skin with light kisses and nibbles.

Buffy sighed softly, partly from the pleasure, and partly from regret of what she had to say. “You can’t stay long, Spike. I’m sorry. But with Giles acting weird, I don’t want to take a risk.”

“I know, luv. It’s OK. I’m already more than happy that I got to see you today. I wasn’t expecting it. Bleedin’ good surprise though.”

“I’m glad you liked it. I couldn’t stand the thought of you being here all alone for the holidays. I know fifteen minutes two days after Christmas isn’t much, but it’s the best I could do. Maybe there will be a riot on New Year’s Eve and I’ll have to stop by…” Buffy frowned, realizing what she just said. “Damn, I really shouldn’t say stuff like that with my luck, or more like total lack of it.”

Spike chuckled. “Come on now, pet. You should call Giles.”

He lifted his arms to let her go, but froze when a huge chunk of her hair came with his handcuffs.

His brows furrowed in worry and he swallowed nervously, then tried again. This time, he got a loud “Ow!” from Buffy.

“Fucking buggering hell!”

“Spike?” Buffy asked, panicked. “What was that?”

“That,” he mumbled, still trying to free his hands from her tangled hair with minimal pain, “was my blasted handcuffs caught in your bloody hair.”

All blood drained from Buffy’s face.

“You’re kidding, right? Please tell me you’re kidding--Please?”

“Does it look like I’m kidding?”

“Well do something!” Buffy exclaimed, her voice significantly higher in pitch.

“M’trying, Buffy! Give a bloke a chance, would you?”

“Just pull on it!!”

“There’s too much hair caught in it, if I do that, I’ll take a chunk of your skin with it.”

The longer Spike fumbled to try to free her hair from the handcuffs, the more Buffy’s heartbeat increased in pace, until it reached a panicked frenzy. When realization finally sank in, tears started streaming down her face.

“Hey now, pet. Don’t cry! It’s gonna be OK. I’ll fix this. It’s just that I can’t see very well. Give me a minute and I’ll fix it. I promise.”

“No you won’t.” She said, her voice lifeless.

“Hey! Have a little faith in me, would you?”

“Spike! Stop wasting your time. You should already have left my office at least ten minutes ago. You can’t spend all afternoon trying to fix this. What’s done is done.”

He stopped what he was doing and looked at her, eyes dark with dread. “What are you saying, Warden? It better not be what I bloody well think it is.”

She took a deep breath and reached up to wipe her tears away. “I’m sorry. I don’t have a choice.”

Buffy took the phone on her desk and dialed the extension number.

“Buffy don’t do that! You’re going to get fired. Don’t…”

“Hello, Giles? I’m having a bit of a problem here. Could you come into my office? Don’t knock, just walk in and make sure to shut the door behind you.”

She hung up before the guard could say anything, and turned to Spike. There were fresh tears in her eyes.

“Kiss me?.. One last time?” She pleaded.

The pain in her voice nearly broke his heart. Spike crushed his lips to hers and kissed her with all he had, trying to memorize the feel of her body against his, her lips, her taste.

They broke apart and waited, incapable of looking at each other.

After a long, agonizing moment, the door opened.

There was a loud gasp, followed by a “Bloody Hell!” Buffy and Spike turned their heads just in time to see Giles pull out his stick, ready to defend Buffy.

“No!” She yelled loud enough to stop him in his tracks. “It’s not what you think!”

Realizing Giles had thought he was attacking Buffy, and thinking quickly, Spike jumped on the opportunity to save her job. “Yes! It’s exactly what you think! I attacked her. See? I’m a bad, evil man, and I wanted to do nasty things to her and my handcuffs just got caught in her hair.”

“Shut up, Spike! He’s not stupid.”

“No, you shut up, you stupid bint!” Spike hissed between clenched teeth. “Trying to be all noble here. Work with me.”

“I’m standing right here.” Giles finally managed to say after the shock wore off. “I can hear you.”

“Bloody fucking hell!” Spike muttered.

Buffy’s resigned voice interrupted them. “Handcuffs stuck in my hair. Could you please cut it off so we can end this embarrassing moment?”

Giles’ face was an unreadable mask as he approached them to assess the situation. He tried pulling the hair free from the handcuffs without having to cut it.

Spike let out a sound between a sob and an hysterical laugh. He was panicking. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Now his girl would lose her job because of his carelessness. He’d never see her again. It was over.

“I don’t see what’s so funny, Spike.” Buffy snapped. Anger was temporarily replacing the pure terror she was feeling. She was losing him and he was laughing?!

“No. Not funny. Not funny at all. I’m sorry, it’s all my fault.”

“Damn right it is.” She snapped at him, her reactions dictated by her rising fear.

“Hey! I SAID I’m sorry…”

“Oh, you’re sorry? Well so am I, but it won’t change anything.”

“And what am I supposed to do, Buffy? It bloody happened. It’s not like I can undo it you know! Not that I don’t wish I could, believe me. ”

“You’re supposed to comfort me and tell me it’s gonna be alright!.. Not tell me that what’s done is done!” She said bitterly, tears welling up in her eyes.

Spike closed his eyes in frustration, his jaw clenched almost painfully. “I’m sorry you think I’m being a right bastard, pet, but I’m just as freaked out as you are you know. Sorry to disappoint you by not saying the right soddin’ thing.” He said, desperately trying to keep the fear from his voice. He wanted to comfort her, but there was nothing he could say that would ever make this situation better.

Buffy shut her eyes tightly and let out a shaky breath. “God, I can’t believe this is really happening.”

They were both so caught in their argument that they almost forgot about Giles.

“That’s quite enough, you two!” Giles growled angrily. An uncomfortable silence instantly settled over them as Giles focused on trying to free the prisoner’s handcuffs from Buffy’s hair.

After a few minutes of looking closely at the knot of golden hair and pulling not too gently on one small strand after the other to get them out of the metal links around which the hair was twisted, she was finally free.

The guard directed his angry gaze at Spike. “You. Come with me. And if I hear a word from you, I swear to God, you’ll find out why people called me Ripper when I was younger.” He turned to face Buffy. “And you and I will have a talk when I get back.”

Buffy watched helplessly as Giles took Spike away from her. She went to sit behind her desk, and finally broke down in tears. Burying her face in her hands, she waited for Giles to return with her sentence.

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A/N: What? :::tries to look innocent::: You don't like my timing... Personaly, I thought starting the year with a bit of angst was a great idea ;) I hope you liked it, and thank you for your reviews.

Now, I'm not leaving without adding something I feel is important. I got a review on another site from someone who said she liked the story, but felt that Spike and Buffy falling in love so fast was unrealistic and she wished it were more like real life. Does anybody else feel this way? Not that it changes anything because as much as I treasure your opinion, I won't go back and rewrite the whole thing. But I need to say this. When I write fiction, it's to embelish reality as much as possible. Most of the time, real life sucks rotten sewage juice and we have enough of that on an everyday basis. Or at least, I do. That's why I love to write about romance and things that might not happen in reality. Lets face it: if I wanted to make this story realistic, there wouldn't be any story to tell. Because in real life, a warden wouldn't have given a guy like Spike--no matter how hot is is--a second look, let alone try to get him out of jail. So for those of you who like to think that magic and romance can exist, at least in writing, keep reading. It might get sad at some points, but in the end, I'll try not to disappoint you.

Love to you all, and Happy New Year,

Isabel

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A/N: You guys absolutely blew my mind with all the reviews you left me for chapter 23. It's the most reviews I've ever had. I couldn't believe it and it made me really happy, so from the bottom of my heart: Thank you! Keep em coming!


CHAPTER 24: On edge


The man walking with angry strides next to Spike was scaring him beyond any level of fright he had ever experienced before. Mainly, because he held his faith, as well as the faith of the woman he loved, in his hands. And if his heavy silence was any indication, the future wasn’t looking too bright. Spike wasn’t feeling like the twenty five year old man he was at the moment, more like a five year old little boy forced to walk along the Boogie man. The way back to his cell was painfully long. An eternity made even longer by the torturous silence that hung between them. But Spike hadn’t taken the older British man’s threats lightly and would never dare test him by opening his mouth, no matter how heavy the silence was becoming.

Giles led Spike from one hallway to another, ignoring the greetings he got from a few coworkers. From the corner of his eye, Spike could see the other man’s jaw clenched in what looked like an almost painful way. As if he was trying to break every tooth in his mouth to quell his overwhelming anger. A flow of conflicting emotions were battling for dominance on the guard’s face, but no matter how hard he tried, Spike couldn’t figure out what was going on in his head. There was something that looked strangely like disappointment there, but he had no idea what this had to do with the situation. Anger and disgust at finding out that his boss was fooling around with a prisoner, that, he could understand. But disappointment had no place in this as far as he knew.

They went through a few gates, and into the section where the holding cells were located. With every step, Spike’s anxiety was increasing in a dizzying way until it was too much for him to bear.

“Giles…”

“Shut your mouth!”

The silence was restored as fast as it had ended. They went up to the second level, where Spike’s cell was located. He was surprised he hadn’t been taken to isolation right away. With Giles’ foul mood, he had expected it, as well as a swift kick to the ribs. Maybe more. But instead, he was opening the cell Spike shared with Snyder. The guard pushed him unceremoniously inside and violently slammed the door shut.

“Your hands!” He barked angrily when Spike just stood there.

Giles was holding up the keys to the prisoner’s handcuffs, waiting for him to put his hands through the space between the bars so he could take them off. But Spike hesitated, seeing this as his only chance to speak up.

“Don’t get her fired. Please, mate. Don’t report her. It’s not her fault, she didn’t do anything wrong, I did. It was all me. She’s a good person and she loves her job. Do whatever you want to me, I don’t bloody care. But don’t take it away from her.”

Giles yanked Spike’s hands toward him to unlock the handcuffs. “She’s a grown woman. She doesn’t need scum like you defending her. Obviously, she’s already decided her job wasn’t her first priority.”

“Please! I don’t want anything bad happening to her… I love her.”

“Shut up, Spike.” Giles spat hatefully at him. He grabbed the prisoner by the front of his shirt and pulled him roughly against the metal bars of his cell. “You’re beneath her, and I don’t care what you have to say. I really don’t.

Spike could only watch as the guard walked away. He felt more helpless at this moment than ever before in his life. He wanted nothing more than to run after Giles and pound some sense into his head, but the bars were efficiently holding him back.

Pulling out his pack of cigarettes from his shirt pocket, he lit one with unsteady fingers and went to sit on the hard cot. He couldn’t stop shaking as he replayed the earlier events over and over again in his head. He regretted that the last words exchanged between Buffy and him had been harsh. But it hardly mattered now. Not when his girl was about to face Giles on her own. Insecurity gripped Spike’s heart firmly when he thought of what they had, what they were about to lose. She had said she loved him, but chances were she was regretting ever meeting him now that she was about to lose her job.

He knew it was selfish of him to be bitter about the possibility that she was regretting their time together but he couldn’t help it. He loved her and cherished every second they’d ever spent together. But to be fair, unlike her, he had nothing to lose. She had everything to lose.

Imagining her alone in her office, nervous and scared, Spike felt a pang of guilt hit him. This was all because of him. If only he had never kissed her that day, life would have gone on for her and she wouldn‘t be in that mess. But he realized he was doing exactly what he was afraid she’d be doing: regretting their time together. No, he couldn‘t regret. Did that make him a bad man? Did that make him selfish? He didn‘t know anymore. His emotions were a confused jumble.

**I’m so sorry, Buffy.**

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Buffy had been waiting for ten minutes but it felt more like ten hours. She couldn’t take it anymore. She was so nervous that she jumped every few minutes, sure that she heard someone approaching her door. It was the most nerve wracking moment she had ever experienced and to be honest, she couldn’t have gone her entire life without experiencing it.

So many thoughts were bouncing around in her head. She couldn’t focus on one for more than a second. The distress in Spike’s eyes, the cold anger on Giles’ face, the way her heart had been racing… Feeling powerless to stop the events from unfolding the way they were. She was left with nothing. She had known that the minute she had picked up the phone to call Giles. But it couldn’t be helped. She had no choice. Or did she?

Maybe she could have given Spike more time to try to free her from the handcuffs. Maybe she could have found something in her office to cut her hair with. Maybe it wouldn’t have hurt that much if he’d just pulled her hair out. Maybe she could have called Dawn and have her teleport herself inside her office to fix it and make things right. God, she was driving herself crazy! No. There was nothing else she could have done. She just hoped she was being overly dramatic by saying that she was about to lose everything. Maybe Giles would come back in the office and laugh with her at how ironic the situation had been. Or maybe he’d be touched by how romantic her forbidden romance with Spike was.

There it was again. The ‘maybes’. Yes, the wait was definitely driving her crazy.

When the door finally opened, she looked up with wild eyes, feeling like a trapped animal. She was so on edge that when she saw that it was only Harmony, she lost it.

“What the fuck did I say about knocking?!” She yelled at her bewildered secretary. “Don’t you have any goddamn manners!”

Turning bright red and not knowing what to say, the other woman turned to leave.

Buffy felt sorry almost instantly for lashing out at her. “Harmony, I’m sorry…” But it was too late, she was already gone.

Getting up, Buffy paced the length of her office, biting on her nails.

“I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t do this…” She repeated over and over like a mantra.

Finally, feeling like a coward, she grabbed her jacket and her purse. She knew it would only make matters worst, but she would never be able to have a decent talk with Giles in her current state. She’d only sob hysterically and say things that would make everything worst instead of helping. She needed to do this with a clear head if she wanted to have a shot at convincing him to give her a chance. So she would leave. She knew it wasn’t very grown up of her to walk away from her responsibilities and that it would only give Giles more reasons to think of her as an irresponsible airhead…

**That’s not what he thinks, Buffy. He probably thinks you’re a whore who uses the prisoners to work out your kinks. Some kind of nymphomaniac ho who uses her status as the warden to get what she wants. Oh God!**

This train of thought only made her panic even more and strengthened her resolve to leave as fast as she could, her tail tucked safely between her legs. She would get fired anyway so why should she care if Giles despised her a little more than he already did?

Hair messed up, eyes red and puffy, she walked out of her office. She stopped in front of Harmony’s desk, shame flooding through her at the way she had treated her secretary a moment ago.

“I’m so sorry, Harm… I didn’t mean… I’m having the day from hell.”

The blonde woman sitting behind the desk huffed, obviously still angry, although there was some curiosity behind her eyes when she looked up at Buffy.

“Please--Giles is coming. Tell him… Tell him I’m sorry. He’ll know what it’s about. Tell him I went home and I’ll see him tomorrow.”

Before Harmony could say anything, Buffy had ran out as if the Devil was coming for her.

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Giles knew she had been waiting for a long time and it wasn’t fair of him to torture her like this, but he had to calm down first before being able to face her. But stalling wasn’t going to change anything. No matter how many times he rehearsed what he was going to say, what questions he was going to ask, he knew that emotions would take over and he’d probably act like a right wanker. He had taken this young woman under his protection, had trusted her, believed in her. How could she do this? No. Why would be a more appropriate question. She must have a reason. Something that would explain it. Maybe he misread the whole situation. But the only way to find out would be to go to her office and face her. And hope that he’d manage to control his temper and wouldn’t start by throwing accusations at her.

He walked past Harmony’s desk with no intention of asking permission to go into Buffy’s office, but the secretary stopped him rather efficiently.

“She’s not in there.”

Giles stopped in his tracks, and turned to face the blonde girl. “What do you mean, she’s not in there? She was supposed to be waiting for me.”

“She was way weird. Between you and me, not to be nosy or anything, but she looked like she’d been crying. First, she yells at me, then she’s all weepy and all that. I really don’t get that…”

“Would you get to the bleeding point already!”

“Geez! What is it? Was there a memo passed around the office saying that it was ok to yell at the poor defenseless secretary today?”

Gritting his teeth and taking a deep breath, Giles tried to call down. “I’m terribly sorry I hurt your feelings, but would you please tell me where Ms. Summers is?”

Harmony decided at that moment that fake polite Giles was way scarier than loud yelling Giles, so she repeated what Buffy told her, word for word.

The British guard standing in front of her didn’t look too pleased with the message she gave him.

“Bloody hell.” He mumbled under his breath before rushing out of the office.

Harmony stared after him, mouth gapping. She finally shook her head in disbelief.

“GOD! Has everybody taken their crazy pills today or what?!”

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CHAPTER 25: You can run, but you can't hide



The sun had set a while ago on the suburb, casting the inside of the house in darkness and shadows. The only source of light was the lamp above the kitchen table where Buffy was sitting. She’d been sitting there for a few hours now, waiting for the world to end, for the ground to give way beneath her, swallowing her, her house and, why not, Sunnydale as a whole. But it never came. No apocalypse. Just a woman sitting at her kitchen table with a bottle of wine, looking like the very definition of pathetic.

Early afternoon, she’d fled the prison, half expecting Giles to run after her in the parking lot. It was very unlike her to run from a confrontation. She had always faced her battles head on, even when she was terrified. But today, she had met her inner coward for the first time and hadn’t been able to resist the need to escape the dreaded conversation that was sure to happen. So she’d gone home, sat at the kitchen table, and tried not to think.

Many hours later, she still hadn’t moved, except to get a bottle of wine. She was a mess, physically and emotionally. Her pretty skirt was wrinkled from sitting too long, her make up smudged from rubbing her eyes and crying, giving the illusion of many sleepless nights, and her hair… God, she couldn’t think of her stupid hair. The reason she was in this mess in the first place.

**No, Buffy. The reason you’re in this mess is because you were stupid enough to fall in love with a convict. The hair is innocent. You’re guilty.** She mocked herself.

But despite the horribly fucked up situation, she could not bring herself to regret the too short moments with him, the quick phone conversations, the sweet words they’d exchanged in emails or text messaging. And most of all, she could not regret opening her heart to a man for the first time.

All her life, Buffy had been told that she couldn’t find love because she expected too much. According to her friends and family, she’d read too many romance novels, watched too many sappy love movies, listened to too many love songs. Life was not like a Bon Jovi song, men could never measure up to Patrick Swayze, and love at first sight was a notion invented by unhappy women bored with their lives. Normal people meet, date for a while, learn to appreciate the other person, and eventually, learn to love the other person. That’s life. That’s REAL life. But to Buffy, it all sounded too boring to bear and she’d decided that she’d rather be single forever and dream. That’s until her romantic idea of love was proven to exist the day William Rayne walked into her life. But of course, it was only to mock her by taking it all away just a few months later. Life is such a bitch.

There was a sharp knock at her door. A wave of nausea washed over her and the pace of her heartbeat increased dramatically.

She tried to ignore it, hoping the person responsible for the noise would give up and leave. No such luck. The knocking broke the silence again, more insistently. It could only be one person. Honestly, she was surprised that he’d go as far as showing up at her place to face her. Realizing she couldn’t put it off any longer, she decided to be brave. Buffy got up, and went to open the door.

Seeing Rupert Giles standing there, looking upset, she couldn’t help the snort from escaping, and the sarcasm from crossing her lips.

“I see. You just couldn’t wait until morning to yell at me now, could you?”

She left him standing there and went back to her place at the kitchen table. She poured herself another glass of wine and drank half of it in one large gulp.

Giles closed the door and came to stand in front of her, looking agitated. He motioned with his hand in the general direction of the wine bottle. “Is this helping the situation?”

“Not yet. But I’m expecting the effect to kick in any time now.”

“I didn’t think this was your way of dealing…”

“See? That’s great. Everybody thinks they got me figured out. Little Miss Buffy Anne Summers, also known as Miss Goodie Two Shoes, who does the right thing all the time, makes the right decisions, never disappoints anybody… well turns out, you were all wrong. I’m not a champion. I’m allowed to be a coward like anybody else if I want to.” She pouted and swallowed the rest of her glass.

“So that’s your solution? Run away from me, lock yourself safely in your house and get drunk, hoping the problem will just go away on its own? You’re right. I am disappointed.”

“It was worth a try.”

“Oh, do be quiet, Buffy. This is no laughing matter.”

“Do I look like I’m laughing?” She finally looked at him. Her eyes were tired, like the fight had finally gone out of her. “Why don’t you go ahead, Giles? Tell me what’s on your mind. Get it over with. You’re gonna report me? Fine. Skip the lecture and just do it.”

He pulled a chair and sat in front of her. “That’s what I should do. And maybe I will. I don’t know yet. It would be the right thing to do. But the right thing isn’t always the best thing. Call me an old fool, but I’d rather you tell me what happened first. I trusted you, Buffy. Was I wrong?”

She narrowed her eyes angrily at him. “Obviously, you already know the answer to this question. I fucked up. I betrayed your trust. There. You got the entire story. Now, can you just leave me so I can curl up in bed and die?”

“That's enough self pity! Now, will you tell me what the bloody hell is going on, or do I have to draw my own conclusions? So far, the ones I came up with are highly disturbing and I very well hope I’m wrong. So tell me,” He asked, looking her straight in the eyes, “Was he the only one or are there others?”

Shock and anger flashed in Buffy’s eyes. “How DARE you!”

“How am I supposed to know, Buffy? Like you said yourself, everything I thought I knew about you flew out the window. And I don’t have any answers about what happened today because when I got back to your office, you were long gone. All I know is that I saw you with a prisoner’s arms around you, and instead of telling me what happened, you shower me with bloody sarcasm and self pity. So if you don’t want me to think less of you, why don’t you just tell…”

“I love him.”

Giles shut his mouth and looked at her with an unreadable expression. He finally sighed and took off his glasses. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Bloody hell.”

“I didn’t mean for it to happen. It just did. I’m not some sex freak who calls random convicts in her office to screw them, if that’s what you think.”

Giles’ voice was softer when he spoke again. “Of course that’s not what I think. I only tried to shock you into giving me answers.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “Buffy, you are the Warden. You can’t get involved with inmates. You have responsibilities. I know it must sometimes feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders and we can’t ask you to be perfect, but you have to remember that all eyes are on you. You said it yourself, most of the staff is just waiting for you to screw up…”

“And I did. I know that. But I didn’t wake up one morning thinking: “hey, why don’t I fall in love with a convict today? Could be fun.” It wasn’t planned, Giles.”

“Good Lord.” Giles sighed heavily. “I think I’d kill for a drink right now. Would you mind?”

“Sure. What would you like?”

“Something strong. Whiskey if you have some.”

Buffy got up and quickly made her way to the basement to get the bottle of whiskey and a glass. She felt a little better. She couldn’t help the spark of hope that had ignited in her heart. Giles’ reaction wasn’t nearly as bad as she thought it would be. She knew it didn’t mean she was out of the woods, but it was a good start. Maybe if she played her cards right, she could convince him not to report her. Though it didn’t solve the problem of her and Spike. Even if Giles let her keep her job, he certainly wouldn’t let her keep seeing Spike. And that was… Well, that was unacceptable. But she didn’t know what she would do. Quitting her job would keep her from Spike, and staying would have the same result. She was on the verge of tears again.

Trying to control her raging emotions the best she could, she went back upstairs. Giles hadn’t moved from his chair. He was wiping his glasses with a handkerchief, obviously lost in his thoughts. She put the bottle down on the table and sat back down in front of him.

“Here.” She said after pouring him a glass of the amber liquid. “I hope this helps.”

“Yes, thank you. I presume it shouldn’t take too long before--how did you put it--the effect kicks in.”

She gave him a weak smile.

“I’m almost afraid to ask but, how long as this been going on exactly?”

“Exactly? Well, huh, about a week after I started working at the prison.”

“Dear Lord.” He muttered under his breath, shaking his head slightly. “You do realize this has to stop, right?”

The sudden paleness of her face and her prolonged silence alarmed him.

“Buffy? Are you alright?”

She nodded weakly, not feeling alright at all. This was what she feared the most.

“You didn’t think this could go on indefinitely, did you?”

“I… I can’t. Giles, I really can’t.”

“You can’t what, Buffy?”

Tears welled up in her large hazel eyes, threatening to spill. “I can’t not see him.”

“Buffy, this is insane. You can‘t possibly think you can continue with this relationship. It‘s impossible.” His voice was gentle, trying to softened the edge of his words.

But the result was the same. Buffy broke down into loud sobs.

Giles got up and took a seat on the chair next to her. He awkwardly pulled her into his arms to try to comfort her the best he could. After a while, he finally spoke again. There was a hesitation to his words but he said it anyway.

“Spike is… he is a murderer, Buffy. He’s in jail for homicide. Not exactly the best person to give your heart to.”

She pushed away from his chest where she’d been crying for a few minutes now. She was suddenly feeling cold inside. She wiped at her tears with the back of her hand, and looked Giles in the eyes to see if he was really convinced that what he just said was true. But his expression was unreadable. She didn’t want to sound childish or naïve by stating that Spike was innocent. She’d already damaged his opinion of her enough for one day.

“Tell me, Giles, as the supervisor of the correctional officers, you spend a lot of time around the prisoners… a lot of time around Spike. Do you really believe what you just said?”

He got visibly flustered. “Well… This is not for me to judge. The court system declared him guilty of homicide so I’m not going to contest…”

“Is he a murderer, Giles?”

“I’ve--had my doubts.” He admitted.

She gave him a hopeful look. “Really?”

“I must say, there’s something about William Rayne that somehow screams not-guilty. And it’s not only that he doesn’t seem to be the type of person who could commit such an act, although it is part of it. But there’s something else also. He’s not like those guys who say they’re innocent on a daily basis. He said it to me only once, but it chilled me. He sounded very sincere and there was a sadness in his eyes… But I assume he could also be a very good actor.”

“He’s convinced me too, Giles. Sure, there’s been moments, when I was alone at home and wondered if I was just being naïve and stupid, but I believe him.”

“But it doesn’t change anything, Buffy. I can certainly see why you‘d be attracted to him. He’s good looking, very intelligent, and has an interesting personality, but he’s behind bars. For good. Guilty or not. And it’s not worth ending in front of the council and facing the very real possibility of losing your job. Someone will start having suspicions after a while and will report you. Then what?” He smiled warmly, trying to lighten the mood. “We’ll lose the best Warden we’ve ever had? I definitely don’t want that to happen.”

Buffy ran her fingers wearily through her hair, and took a deep breath before looking at him. She looked calmer, more determined, and it worried him.

“Once upon a time, when I was working at the Metropolitan Detention Center in L.A., this is the kind of thing that would have scared me into behaving myself. For the longest time, my job was the most important thing in my life. So much more important than my personal life, my family, my friends and definitely more important than my love life. If I lost my job now, after accomplishing so much, it would still devastate me. I won’t deny it. But I’m in love for the first time of my life, and I think that for once, I want to put Buffy first. I won’t stop seeing William, Giles.”

She looked into his eyes, a serious expression on her pretty face. “I’m asking for your help. If you don’t give it to me, I don’t know what I will do. But I can’t stop seeing him.”

He nodded his understanding, but didn’t answer.

“Do you remember not long after we met, we had our first real conversation in my office? You asked me about my life outside of work and when you asked about my love life, I told you I didn’t have one. I told you I gave up on love. Do you remember that?”

“I believe I do, yes.”

“You also said that it was only because I hadn’t found the one yet. Well I lied. I already had. I knew it the second I saw him. He’s the one, Giles. Don’t make me give up on him.”

Giles grabbed the whiskey bottle and helped himself, also pouring some into Buffy’s empty wine glass.

“I think we both need it.” He said before lifting the glass to his lips and swallowing some of the fiery liquid.

“Did you think about the future, Buffy? I would hate to rain on your parade, but it doesn’t look too bright. As romantic as your story sounds, I don’t see it ending well.”

“Does that mean you’re going to help us?” She couldn‘t help but asking, hopeful.

“I absolutely did not say that. This is something I’ll need to think about very carefully. Helping you would also mean that my job would be at risk. If someone finds out I’m involved in this, I will suffer the repercussions just as much as you will.”

Buffy sighed. “Fine. Anyway, to answer your question, yes, I did think about the future. And yes, I do know that the chances we’ll get our happy ending are, like Starvin’ Marvin’, skinny.”

“They’re what?”

“Never mind, too much South Park. What I’m trying to say is…” She frowned and thought about it for a second, unsure of how much she wanted to tell him. “I’ve met lawyers to discuss Spike’s case--see if there was any chance of proving him innocent. I’m not going to let him rot in jail if I can help it.”

“What did they say, if I may ask?”

“Not much, unfortunately. But they’re looking into it.” Buffy hated to lie to him again, but she also thought that poor Giles had enough shocks for the time being without her telling him that she was planning on contacting possible killers. “I’m not saying it will happen, but I don’t want to do nothing either.”

“I understand. But I’m afraid if you’re hoping too much and nothing happens, you will be horribly disappointed.”

“I’m aware of that. I’m not holding my breath. The way I see it, things can’t get worst anyway. So why not try.”

Giles stood up.

“Why don’t you take a few days off, Buffy? You weren’t supposed to work this week anyway. I think you need it. It’s the holidays. Rest, and spend some time with your family.”

“You’re right. I guess it’s the best thing I could do right now.” She hesitated before asking: “I don’t suppose you’re gonna tell me tonight if you’re going to help us or not?”

He gave her a half smile, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She looked very young, the expression on her face so hopeful.

“I don’t know yet. Let me think about it when my mind is clearer. Too much happened today, I can’t think straight. Give me a few days, and I’ll let you know.”

Buffy gave him a hug. “Thanks for not yelling.”

“You’re welcome, but I don’t see why you’d think I would yell at you. I’m not exactly the type of person to yell. Or at least, not that I know of.”

“Well, you were really scary today in my office, so I just thought maybe you were mad enough to do some major yelling, is all. I thought you were supposed to be all British and nice, then you turn all scary on me. I was shocked.”

Giles grinned at her, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Yes, everybody thinks they got me figured out. Just like you, I guess.” He said, remembering the words she’d said earlier about herself.

She laughed. “Aren’t we just full of surprises or what?”

Buffy watched him leave, then collapsed in her chair. She was emotionally exhausted, but at least, it didn’t go as badly as she’d expected. She seriously hoped that she’d never have to go through another day like this one ever again in her life.

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A/N: Thanks for all your amazing reviews, and for voting for me in the weekly poll last week. Even if I didn't win, I still found it really flattering that PMJ was in third place. Please, keep reviewing. It's the only way for me to know if you like it or not.

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CHAPTER 26: Mood swings



Charles Gunn made his way into the yard, sweaty and in a really bad mood. He quickly spotted Spike, sitting with his back against the wall, scribbling furiously into a black leather journal. Charles made his way toward him. The sun was blazing overhead and things were relatively quiet in the yard, probably due to the fact that most guys were still busy with their daily chores at this time of the day. He sat next to Spike.

“Make ‘em damn license plates, you lousy, no good, piece of trash, he said. Well I‘ll tell him where he can shove his goddamn license plates. Fucker.” Gunn mumbled, imitating one of the guards attached to the license plates production line. “One of these days, someone’s gonna make Devon wish he’d treated us with a little bit more respect.”

When Spike only grunted in reply and didn’t even bother looking up, Gunn frowned, wondering what the hell was wrong with him.

“You know, I’m not really expecting any sympathy from you, Mr. I-don’t-have-to-do-any-unpleasant-work-cause-the-Warden-likes-me, but you could at least pretend to care.”

Spike’s head snapped up at Charles’ comment, and the look in the blonde man’s eyes made him regret he’d ever say anything.

“Whoa! Relax, man. What did I say?”

After a moment staring a him, Spike went back to his writing. “Nothing, mate. Forget it. Could you please bugger off? ‘m not in the mood.”

“You know, you’ve been in a hell of a weird mood since yesterday. Anything you wanna talk about? Did something happen?”

“No, girlfriend, nothing I want to share. Everything is just fucking fantastic and bloody peachy. Life in prison really works for me. Thanks for asking.”

“I just asked if there’s something wrong. No need to bite my head off. A ‘no thanks, I don’t want to talk about it’ would have done just fine.”

“Sorry. Nothing’s wrong.”

**Nothing is wrong except that I’m in love with the Warden, we’ve had some incredibly hot make out sessions, I’ve even shagged her, and now she’s about to lose her job because of me and I might never see her again. She’s going through something hard and I’m not there. I haven’t heard from her since it happened, and I can’t bloody well call her because for all I know, she could be under investigation right about now. Though I think it’s pretty safe to say that government people don’t work during the holidays, but I can‘t take the chance. Can‘t even write freely about it in my own soddin‘ journal because the guards could decide to go through it during one of their inspections and things would get even more fucked up. Yes mate, bloody fucking peachy.**

“Huh, Spike?” Gunn snapped his fingers in front of his eyes, and Spike interrupted his thoughts long enough to look at him. “You spaced there for a second.”

“Sorry, Charles. I know I’ve been acting like I’ve gone around the bend, but I just have some things on my mind. And before you ask, no, I don’t want to discuss my emotions with you over a pint of ice cream, then have a pillow fight. So sod off.”

Gunn grinned. “Damn! And I was hoping for a girls night. Maybe we could have even convinced the guards to put some chick flick on for movie night tonight. Are you sure? I could go get Andrew and Jonathan. I’m sure they’re great listeners.”

Spike was about to throw in another sarcasm, but he chuckled instead. “I can always count on you to lighten the mood, mate.”

“Come on. Some of the guys are playing basketball. Could get ugly. Lets go watch.”

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“Don’t you dare tell Cordelia about this, Dawn. You know what she’ll say…”

“Yeah. The first words out of her mouth will be ‘I told you so.’ Don’t worry, I won’t tell her. Buffy? Do you want me to come over?”

“Nah. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

Dawn huffed on the other end of the line, clearly not believing it. “Whatever. If you’re fine, then I’m freakin’ Demi Moore, and God knows I wish I were. Who wouldn’t want to be dating Ashton? But you’re not fine. You can’t be, not after the last 24 hours. Come on, talk to me.”

“I have to believe I’m fine because if I don’t, I’m afraid I’ll break down and never be alright again. So I’m just gonna believe that everything will work out and hope that I’m right.”

“I’m not sure denial is the best way to deal with the problem, but hey, if it makes you feel better… Go denial!”

Buffy went to sit at her computer and waited for it to come to life. She was holding a coffee cup in one hand, the cordless phone in the other, and she was dressed in sweat pants and an over sized Metallica t-shirt she had since she was 16. And to top everything off, she was feeling sick. Not hung over sick, just the natural kind, accompanied by shivers and cold sweat. She was glad the room didn’t have any mirrors.

“Buffy, I know I’ve only talked to him for a few hours in my life, but Giles seemed like a really nice guy. And I got the definite feeling that he really loves you. Not in an icky way,” she quickly added. Buffy chuckled. “What I mean is, I don’t know if he’ll help you seeing Spike and all, especially since he would risk his own job by doing that, but I don’t think he’ll stand in the way if you decide you still want to see Spike. And I definitely don’t think Giles would make you lose your job.”

Buffy entered her password to access her settings, and logged on to the net.

“I know, Dawnie. I’ve just had a really bad day yesterday and I think I’m suffering from residual paranoia. But you’re right. I don’t think he’ll do anything to make me lose my job, or to stop me from seeing Spike. At least, I hope so. I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t see him anymore.”

“So. Did you send him that email yet? Poor Spike must be freaking out!”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Relax. I’ve just signed on now. You know my computer’s a piece of junk. It takes forever to turn on.”

“Maybe that’s a sign that you should get a new one, penny pincher!”

“I am so not a penny pincher! I just have a phobia of computer stores. It’s full of geeky nerds with a superiority complex who look at you like you’re the dumbest thing they’ve ever seen and then they try to make you buy a bunch of stuff you don’t even need and when you walk out of the store, they laugh their little geeky asses off. They‘re creepy.”

“OK, OK, calm down. I get it. Computer stores, bad. Spike, pretty. Everything is so simple in my lovely sister’s head.”

“Hold on. I think it’s coming. Yes, would that be an amused laugh about to come out? Wait. No. No, that was only gas. Sorry, not funny.”

Dawn laughed. “So, is it on yet?”

“Yes. But I’ll have to hang up. I’d like to concentrate on what I want to write if you don’t mind.”

“Oh, I forgot you can’t do two things at the same time. Your blonde brain could go into shock.”

“Ok, what is it with you insulting me today? I call you because I’m depressed, sick and freaking out, and all you do is make fun of me? Is that what a loving sister is supposed to do?”

“Well, I read the handbook and it says that if your older sister is in a gloomy ‘oh my God, I’m doomed, my life is shit and I’m about to lose my job and the man I love’ kinda mood, you should do anything you can to get her mind off it. I figured annoying you would be as good a way as any. It’s working, isn’t it? When I answered the phone two hours ago, you were crying. Now, you’re just pissed at me. Mission accomplished.”

“Oh, I see. I guess that means I should thank you for insulting my intelligence then.”

“Yes, you should.”

“Thanks, bitca. I’ll talk to you later.”

“You’re welcome. Bye.”

They both hung up, and Buffy turned to her computer screen. She entered the email address, Bloody_poet@hotmail.com, and then stared at the screen for a few minutes, not sure what to write. How did she start? Her usual ‘hey baby’ or ‘hi lover’ seemed inappropriate, ‘hi Spike’ too detached, and simply ‘Spike’ was too dramatic. She finally took a deep breath, and started typing, skipping the introduction.


I’m so sorry things happened the way they did yesterday. And I’m even more sorry it took me so long to let you know what happened after you left. I wanted to email you earlier, but the last twenty four hours of my life have been like a really bad Soap Opera and I was just overwhelmed.
You won’t be proud of me because I wasn’t very brave yesterday. After he took you back, I ran away. I couldn’t face him. I was sitting in my office imagining the absolute worst scenarios, and the more time passed, the more horrifying they became. Until I freaked out and left. But we did end up talking later on. He came to my place to talk to me. And to be honest, it didn’t go nearly as bad as I expected. I don’t think I will lose my job. At least not this time. So that’s a relief. He seemed understanding of the situation, even though he thinks I’m completely out of my mind to take such risks for a man. Anyway, as far as our relationship is concerned, that’s the part that is still uncertain. I told him I refuse to stop seeing you, but I don’t know yet if he’ll help us or not. He told me I should take a few days off, that he’d think about it and then we’d talk some more. Spike, I don’t know what we will do if he refuses. But I can’t lose you, so I’ll just have to figure something out.

I am so sorry for the way I acted with you yesterday. I hope you don’t hate me for being such a bitch with you. I was just so scared. I’m sorry I took it out on you. You know it wasn’t your fault, right? I didn’t mean that. It just happened, it was no ones fault. Once you were gone and I realized that the last words I said to you were mean ones, my heart broke. I’m sorry. I love you so much. You know that, don’t you? I’ll never take off the necklace you gave me. It does look kinda weird with the very ugly over sized t-shirt, and gray sweat pants I’m wearing right now, but I don’t care. Thank you again. It’s was the most beautiful Christmas gift I’ve ever received.

I’ve been more than a little careless with details in this email because of the situation. So please delete it as soon as possible.

Love you, always, and I’ll see you soon if things go well,

Anne xxx


She clicked on ‘send’, and turned the computer off.

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A/N: I just noticed that PMJ is still on the voting list for the weekly poll. Thank you to whoever nominated me!! I love you! lol And all of you, your reviews are fantastic! Thank you so much for taking time to tell me you enjoy my little fantasy world. I will have another update for you soon, and it will be Spuffylicious :D Oh, and since I have your attention, I might as well take the oportunity to pimp my other fiction. The conclusion of America's sexiest home video is coming, tonight, or tomorrow morning depending on my beta. So keep your eyes open for it, and don't forget to let me know if you like it

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A/N: I know I promised a spuffy chapter, but this one was already too long so it's going to be in the next one. Also, I know New Year is pretty much over, but real life has been a bitch to me lately and I missed my dead lines. But it's still January, right? I'll try to have the big spuffy New Year's eve ready by monday. And I've been nominated in a few categories at Vampire Kisses award!! Thanks for showing me some love guys, I appreciate it :D



Chapter 27
New Year conspiracy




Buffy felt groggy and nasty. Her head was pounding, the soft light filtering through the curtains was hurting her sensitive eyes, and her tongue felt twice its normal size. Everything was wrong. It was New Year’s eve, she had no celebration planned and felt sick as a dog. The antibiotics Dr. Burkle had prescribed her would probably take a few days to make her feel better and meanwhile, she was still waiting for Giles’ phone call. Wait. Phone call? The phone ringing… wasn’t that what woke her up in the first place? Suddenly completely awake, she pushed herself up on one elbow and hurriedly picked up the phone, dropping it to the floor in her haste. She leaned over the edge of the bed and fumbled to grab the receiver.

“Hello?” She mumbled, her voice still thick with sleep.

“Buffy? It’s…”

“Giles! Hi!” Her enthusiasm was interrupted by a fit of coughing.

“Buffy, are you all right?”

“Right as rain. Don’t worry about me, I’m tough She took a deep breath. “I’ve--I’ve been waiting for your call.”

“I know. I’m terribly sorry, but I needed to think things over before making a decision.”

“Oh.” Buffy tried keeping the hope out of her voice. She didn’t know what to say.

“Don’t you want to find out what that decision might be?”

“Well yeah. But I didn’t want to sound pushy. What did you decide?” She asked, almost afraid of his answer.

She could hear Giles on the other end of the line taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “I’ve decided… To be completely idiotic. I guess I’m just an old romantic fool, but after seeing you so broken over this ordeal, I couldn’t just stand back. I would lie by saying that I’m happy with the situation, Buffy. I’m acutely aware that it could have dire consequences for both of us. But I’ll stand by your side and pray to God that it doesn’t end too horribly.”

Buffy let out a sigh of relief that sounded more like a choked sob. “I was really scared. I don’t know what to say, Giles. You have no idea what this means to me.”

“I’m sorry I gave you reasons to doubt I would help you. Look, it’s New Year’s eve tonight. Why don’t stop by your office if you don’t have anything else planned?”

Buffy sat with her back against the headboard and played nervously with the edge of her comforter. “I don’t know, Giles. There’s nothing I want more, but it is New Year’s eve you know? Don’t you think it would look a little suspicious if I showed up at work tonight?”

“Don’t worry about that. Be ready and I’ll call you from the prison around ten o’clock tonight. I’ll find a good excuse to justify it.”

She could feel her heart beating as if it was trying to break out of her chest. “Ok, I’ll be ready and waiting.”

“Good. I’ll talk to you later then.”

“Later. And Giles?… Thank you.”

He paused before finally answering in a soft voice. “You’re welcome, Buffy.”

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Twisting another strand of her long blonde hair around the curling iron, Buffy swore under her breath when it tangled in it. She was so nervous that her hands were shaking. She managed to untangle it from her now wavy mane, and slammed the iron angrily on her dresser. Closing her eyes for a brief moment, she finally calmed down. It was 7pm, and she was beyond nervous.

Clad in nothing but a red lace trimmed black satin underwear set, she crossed her bedroom. She turned on the light in her walk-in closet and went straight to the dress that hung there still covered by the protective plastic they had put over it at the store. After she hung up with Giles this morning, she had taken a quick shower and run to the mall, hoping it was open. Luckily enough, it was open for business until 5pm. In a nervous frenzy, she had gone through every store to find the perfect outfit. Her first stop had been Victoria’s Secret. The racy red and black number had caught her eye instantly. She didn’t even look at the price tag. She tried it on and knew that it was what she wanted. Spike had told her during one of their conversations that red and black were his favorite colors. After two more hours of desperate shopping, she finally found the dress. The red flowing silk skirt fell to her knees in soft waves while the bodice of the dress clung to her curves seductively. The v neck was cut just low enough to showcase her pendant necklace and the back revealed quite a bit of skin. It was love at first sight.

Buffy put her stockings on, careful not to ruin them with her freshly manicured nails, then slipped the dress on. She went to stand in front of her full length mirror to admire the result. She looked great, but the look on her face could only be described as miserable. Half an hour ago, she had checked for the hundred and fiftieth time to see if she got an answer from Spike to the three emails she left him in the past three days, but with no luck. She knew there could be many explanations to this. Maybe he got himself in trouble again and was stuck in isolation. Maybe he didn’t get a chance to check his emails… Or maybe he was mad at her. She didn’t like the third option, but it was a possibility. What if he didn’t want to see her tonight?

She sighed again, and went to sit in front of her dresser to start applying her make up. She really had to stop imagining the worst case scenarios or she’d go insane.

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Spike was one of the lucky guys on cafeteria cleaning duty. They would be having a New Year’s eve diner tonight so they had to decorate on top of the usual gruesome job of making the place presentable again after 215 inmates had their lunch. He was busy moping the disgustingly filthy floor, when Giles walked in. The prisoner automatically looked down. It was the first time he'd seen the guard in three days and didn’t know what to expect. The last three days had been hell for Spike. He hadn’t seen Buffy, hadn’t been able to talk to Giles, and had no way of finding out what was going on. He couldn’t email Buffy or call her in fear of making it worst for her. So all he could do was go on with his usual daily routine and wait. Spike was starting to think that maybe he’d never know. In his nightmarish daydreams, he could almost see himself twenty years from now, laying on his cot at night and wondering what happened to the woman he loved. But right now, he was just surprised that no one had come to take him away yet.

There was such a thing as a prison inside the prison and he had been sure that’s where he’d end up after Buffy lost her job. But no one came for him. Nothing had happened and it had been days. He was worrying himself sick over this and almost wished that something would happen. Anything would be better than being kept in the dark.

Spike tensed when he noticed Giles walking towards him. It looked like his wish was finally granted; something was going to happen. He tried to read the other British man’s face but it was impossible. Bracing himself, Spike stopped mopping the floor and waited for the guard to be close enough to talk.

“Spike.” Giles greeted the prisoner with a slight nod of his head. He lowered his voice so no one else would hear. “Pretend to be sick.”

Spike looked genuinely puzzled. “Pardon?”

“Complain all day that you’re not feeling well and make sure everybody knows.”

“… why?”

Giles frowned, very close to losing his patience. He was nervous and didn’t want to draw attention to himself by spending too much time with one of the guys. “Don’t question me, just do it. And try to make it convincing. Unless of course you never want to see her again.”

He turned and left without another word.

Spike stared at his retreating form, frozen in shock. That was definitely not what he’d expected.

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Looking pretty, Buffy was sitting in the kitchen, nervous as hell. The cordless phone was on the table in front of her and she was staring at it, as if that would make it ring. She turned it on to check if it was working for the hundredth time and turned it off quickly, worried that Giles might have chosen this exact time to call and would get a busy signal. It was 9:51 p.m. and she was sick of waiting. The last three hours had felt like a life time to her.

When it finally rang, two minutes later, she answered on the first ring, not caring if she looked like an eager teenager.

“Giles?”

“Hi Buffy. I’m sorry to bother you on New Year’s eve, but I fear we might have a situation here tonight and I thought it would be best to call you.”

“Are there people around you? Is that part of your plan?”

Giles chuckled lightly. “Yes, and yes. One of the inmates came to me saying that a riot has been planned for tonight. I don’t know how reliable he is, but I thought it would be better to be safe than sorry.”

“Won’t they all wonder why I didn’t take measures over the phone instead of showing up?”

“I’m doing the best I can, Buffy.” Giles whispered harshly into the phone. “I don’t know if it’s worth ruining your plans for the night just because of rumors,” He continued louder obviously for the benefit of people listening in on their conversation. “but it being New Year’s eve, I tend to want to take it more seriously.”

“I’ll be right there.” She said before they both hung up.

The young woman stood up and grabbed the oversize purse she had left by the door, packed with goodies for her and Spike. If, of course, he wanted to talk to her. She just hoped his silence of the past few days didn’t mean it was the end for them, because losing the man you love on New Year’s eve… not the best memory to create.

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Buffy walked into the prison, and was quickly greeted by Giles who had been waiting for her at the security check. She went through security and followed him to her office.

“Wait here, I’ll be right back.” He said, ready to walk out of her office. But she stopped him.

“Giles. How are you gonna get Spike here? You’re not gonna blame the possible riot on him, are you? And… you didn’t REALLY hear of a possible riot, did you?”

“No, Buffy. I didn’t hear of any possible riot planned for tonight. And I wouldn’t make Spike look bad by bringing him here for questioning. Don’t worry, I have a perfectly good excuse. I won’t be long, I promise”

He left her there to wait.

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Giles walked up to Spike’s cell. The blonde man was sitting on the floor, his back against the wall and his forehead resting on his knees. Snyder was sitting stiffly on his cot, arms cross over his chest and casting his cellmate annoyed glares.

“Rayne.” Giles called out loudly. “Are you getting any better?”

“No he’s not!” Snyder exclaimed before Spike could open his mouth. “Please get him out of here before he vomits in the sink again. That’s absolutely disgusting and I might be a prisoner, but I’m still a human being, and you have no right to subject me to something so vile. I will not tolerate this. I will…”

“Oh do shut up. No one is talking to you.” Giles addressed Spike again who was now looking at him. “Come on. Get up, I’ll take you to the infirmary. Anya will examine you and you can spend the night there. You’ll be more quiet than here with that troll.”

“Hey! Who gave you the right to insult me? And who is the moron at immigration who let so many psychotic British guys with God complexes into our beautiful country, huh? Who? It’s outrageous! It’s…”

“Do you want to spend the night in isolation, Snyder? All you have to do is ask.”

The little man shut his mouth, but narrowed his already small, beady eyes at him. Spike stood up from his position on the floor and came to the cell’s door so Giles could put his handcuffs on. The guard opened the door and Spike walked out of the cell. They stopped briefly so Giles could tell another guard where he was taking the prisoner.

“Rayne has been sick all day. I’m taking him to the infirmary. God know what he has and it could be contagious.”

They walked through corridors until they were out of earshot. Then, Spike finally spoke.

“Will you tell me what the bloody hell this is all about?”

“Didn’t you suss it out on your own already? I thought it was clear. I’m taking you to Buffy.”

Spike chuckled humorlessly. “Oh, that makes it so much clearer. Last time I saw you, you wanted to kill me, then I don’t hear anything from anybody for days, and now, you want to take me to Buffy? And you think I’m thick for not understanding what’s going on?”

Giles stopped in his tracks and turned to face Spike. “She didn’t tell you?”

“I haven’t talked to her since you found out about us. It’s not like I could call her or write to her. Didn’t want to get her in more trouble than she already is. What did I miss? Buffy is not losing her job?”

“Of course not! I would never do such a thing. We… talked. For some reason, Buffy is quite taken with you and she refused to stop seeing you. I can’t say I approve and I did try to make her see how insane this is, but she wouldn’t budge.”

“So you just said, bugger this, what Buffy wants, Buffy gets, even if it’s an evil prisoner? Excuse me if I’m a somewhat shocked.”

“No matter how idiotic I think it is to take these kinds of risks Buffy is very dear to me and I’ll stand by her side no matter what. She said she loves you, and I‘m not going to stand in the way of that, even if it doesn‘t make me happy and I do think she deserves better.”

Spike looked down without saying anything.

“I will say one thing though. Hurt her, and I will kill you. Do we understand each other?”

“If I ever hurt her, I’ll let you. But it won’t happen.”

They resumed walking towards Buffy’s office in silence.

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A/N: Wanna see the pretty picture I made for this? Here's the link:: http://www.angelfire.com/realm2/hellmouth/images/pmjnewyear.jpg


CHAPTER 28: Celebration (part 1)



The door opened slowly, revealing Giles, and a few steps behind him, Spike. Buffy twisted her hands nervously in front of her, suddenly feeling shy. Now that a third person was involved in this, it felt like the whole thing was more real and it made her nervous. Like her secret relationship was now public, even if the public consisted of only one person. Well, not just nervous. Nervous, excited and happy. It felt more official. Now, everything depended on Spike’s reaction. She already knew how he felt about her risking her job for him. The fact that he never answered her emails made her worried that maybe he decided to end it with her. That was something she wasn’t willing to face but the risk of this happening was very real and she was conscious of it. Hence the nervousness that had gripped her by the throat and wouldn’t let go.

She watched from beneath her lashes as Giles unlocked Spike’s handcuffs. The way he shifted his weight restlessly from one foot to the other betrayed the fact that the man she loved was just as uncertain as she was about what was happening. He shot Giles a surprised look when the guard reached for the restraints, clearly not expecting Giles to trust him enough to do such a thing

“Don’t thank me. You’re obviously too bloody clumsy to be trusted with those around your wrists. God only knows where you’ll get them caught this time if I leave them on.” The older man grumbled good-naturedly.

He turned briefly toward Buffy. “I’ll be back soon after midnight. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure no one interrupts. But to be safe, lock the door.”

Buffy nodded numbly, her eyes never leaving Spike. She was desperately trying to figure out what was going on behind those crystal blue eyes of his, but couldn’t decrypt the swirl of emotions she could see in them.

Over the past couple of days, she had missed him more than she thought possible. And during the hours since Giles had called, her wild imagination hadn’t stop creating all kinds of scenarios of romantic reunions. But none involved them standing frozen, a few feet apart, in awkward silence. No. Most of her reunion scenes had them running in slow motion toward each other with a sappy love song playing in the background, their arms wrapping tightly around the other, their lips connecting in a passionate kiss and declarations of love being exchanged. Instead, Spike was silently looking down at his now bare wrists and she couldn’t find a thing to say to break the thick ice forming between them.

Giles opened the door to make his way out. Door knob in hand, he turned momentarily to look at the two young lovers. He frowned at the awkward scene and wanted to dryly comment on the fact that they didn’t have the entire night in front of them, but decided against it and discretely exited the office.

Both their eyes glanced briefly toward the door as it closed, but the relief the distraction brought was short lived when they realized they were now alone. Someone had to say something or do something. In his mind, Spike was telling Buffy everything he needed her to know. How much he loved her, how worried he’d been, how he missed her… But for some reason, none of the words crossed his lips. He wanted nothing more than to run to her and pull her into his arms, but couldn’t move. He decided instead to wait for her to talk first, but she was obviously waiting for the same thing. So neither of them said a thing.

Still unable to bring herself to speak, Buffy busied herself by smoothing down nonexistent wrinkles on her red dress. This prompted Spike to finally open his mouth.

“You look fantastic.” He said, his voice booming in the silence of the room despite the fact that he had merely whispered the words.

Buffy blushed and chuckled, the sound almost alien to her ears. She couldn’t recognize her own voice when she answered. “This old thing? What can I say… I wanted to look my Sunday best.”

There was a pause, but they both decided to not let it drag in case the nervous silence would start again and neither of them would find the strength to end it this time.

“Buffy” “Spike”

They spoke at the same time, and stopped, both smiling at how silly they were being.

“Why don’t you go first, pet?” He said quietly.

She took a deep breath and finally looked him in the eyes. “I brought a bunch of stuff.”

She tilted her head toward the coffee table to illustrate what she meant. Spike looked and saw a bottle of champagne and some food on the table.

“… had a whole fun couple of hours planned. But… maybe we should talk first before I make a fool of myself by assuming we‘re good. I’m not sure what’s going on since you haven’t talked to me or answered my emails in a week, so if you’re trying to tell me something--if you want to break up with me…”

“W--what?! Brea… Bloody Hell! Why would I want to break up with you?!” His eyes were wide with shock and he was slowly shaking his head, clearly not understanding how she could come up with such a ridiculous idea.

Buffy hated to sound so insecure, but she couldn’t help it. She really had been worried about his silence, and the weirdness between them since he’d walked into the office had only reaffirmed her fears. She crossed her arms defensively over her chest. “I haven’t heard from you, you haven’t called, you haven’t even answered my emails. Can’t blame a girl for jumping to conclusions.”

Spike’s expression went from shocked to somewhat angry. “I didn’t try to contact you because I didn’t want to put you in anymore trouble than you already were! How could you think that I didn’t want to see you anymore? After all the bloody mess we’ve been through? I told you I love you. That’s not something I say lightly, Buffy.”

He ran his fingers through his hair in agitation, messing up the neatly slicked back bleached locks. When he looked back up and saw the unshed tears in her hazel eyes, he instantly calmed down.

“I’m sorry, pet, but I’ve been worried sick and trying to do the right soddin’ thing by staying away from you and turns out it only added to your pain. I’m a right wanker. I don’t mean to be, you know. It’s just that I don’t always think things through.”

“It’s OK. I don’t exactly have the reputation for being a thinker myself. But, I didn’t hear from you after we got caught, I thought that either you were mad at me for being such a bitch last time, or you decided that it wasn’t worth the risk to be together. I thought you had decided to make the decision for me.”

“Luv… I’m not gonna lie to you. A part of me does think that it’d be best for you to stop seeing me. But, you know how they say that love is selfless. Well, that’s rubbish. I’m selfish and the idea of parting from you is too painful to even consider. I can’t lose you and I’ll be with you for as long as you let me.”

Before he knew what was happening, he had an armful of Buffy. Her lips found his and she poured all of her pent up emotions into the kiss. He could feel the relief, love, and the fear that wasn’t completely extinguished yet, in the way her tongue explored his mouth and her soft lips crushed his. She pulled away from him, tears streaming down her beautiful face.

“I’m sorry I’m such an idiot, but I was so scared I was going to lose you.”

“Never.”

He lifted her off the floor and she eagerly wrapped her legs around his lean hips to support herself while he walked her to the desk. Spike carefully put her down on it, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around her and his lips never leaving the velvety skin of her face. He kissed every inch of it, her forehead, her eyelids, the tip of her nose, her round cheeks, finishing with her mouth. But he was not nearly done, he was just started. His hands undid the strap that held her halter dress together, and the red silk fell around her waist, forgotten as soon as the satiny curves of her perky breasts were exposed to his starving eyes. He caressed the black satin of the low cut, strapless bra covering her breasts with the palm of his hand.

“That’s really sexy, luv. Too bad it’s gonna have to come off.” He whispered before unclasping the garment and throwing it over his shoulder with a satisfied smirk.

He couldn’t believe just how stunning she looked wearing almost nothing but the necklace he gave her, the rubies and diamonds shimmering against her golden skin. How she could have thought he’d be able to live without her was beyond him. He’d never let go of this goddess unless he was forced to, that’s for bloody damn sure. And even then, they’d have to drag him away kicking and screaming.

Buffy spread her legs wider to welcome him in the cradle of her warm thighs. She felt at home in his arms. For the first time in days, she felt like the burden of her worries had been lifted from her shoulders. She felt light headed and almost giddy with euphoria. Her man was back where he belonged and she wasn’t about to let him go. She’d meant it when she’d told Giles that she wouldn’t stop seeing Spike no matter what. And looking at him now, she knew he was worth the trouble. And not just because of how incredibly gorgeous he was and how she could lose herself in the ocean blue of his eyes; but because of the way he loved her. She could see it on his face, feel it in each and every one of his tender kisses. His heart was beautiful and it was all for her. She’d take care of it as if it was the most precious thing in the world, no matter the risks.

She watched the top of his blond head as he suckled on her puckered nipple and reclined back on her elbows to give him better access. She loved this. Not only because it sent tingles throughout her body and warmed her lower belly in anticipation, but also because of how erotic the sight was. He was sucking on her breast as if his life depended on it or it could give him the answers to the mysteries of life. His hands were roaming mindlessly over her flesh, trying to touch every inch of her at once. It made her arousal escalate to the point of near madness.

She pulled him back up so she could unbutton his shirt, needing the feel of his warm skin and hard muscles under her palms. Once she accomplished her task, Buffy put her arms around his neck to help lift herself off the desk. He pulled both the dress and her thong off of her and dropped them on the floor.

They met in a frantic tangle of limbs, his raging hard-on pressing intimately against her over sensitive sex. She whimpered in need and made it obvious she wasn’t all that interesting in dragging things on when she reached down to guide his rock hard shaft to her opening.

“Now, Spike. Please. William, I love you.”

“I love you too, Buffy. So much.”

He grunted in overwhelming pleasure when he was finally sheathed inside her, relishing the feel of her tight hot flesh surrounding him. This felt like heaven to both of them after missing each other so much. Especially now that his hands were free to do as they pleased. He held her face between his hands and kissed her softly on the lips before starting to move in a torturously slow rhythm within her.

The only thing that could be heard in the office were Buffy’s soft sighs and moans, and Spike’s grunts and whisper of passionate words. He braced himself on the desk with one hand on each side of her, and quickened his pace, bringing her to the edge, then slowing down again.

Buffy’s thoughts were all over the place, and full of contradiction. One second, she was begging for her release; the next, asking him to never stop. Spike’s cock filling her was the most amazing sensation she had ever experienced and she wrapped her legs firmly around his waist, trying to hold him to her, not willing to let him escape her warmth. But no matter how hard she tried, he kept pulling out, thankfully only to push back in a second later. That moment in between each thrust was torture to her. She hated the feeling of him leaving her and how empty she was when he wasn’t buried snuggly inside her pussy.

But no matter how much they wanted this to last forever, their bodies refused to listen, the pleasure too great for them to hold back the moment of their climax much longer.

The numbness spreading in Buffy’s limbs made it impossible for her to hold herself up any long so she lay down on the desk. Spike followed her, resting his chest against hers, loving the feel of her round breasts pressed against him. He hid his face in the crook of her neck and closed his eyes, inhaling the smell of her. She could feel how tensed his body was and knew what he needed.

“Let it go, baby. Don’t hold back.” Her hand reached up to caress his hair lovingly. “Come for me.”

She grabbed his firm ass cheeks in encouragement and that’s all he needed. Spike let go of his control and started thrusting hard and fast into her, his ass clenching with the effort. Buffy lifted her hips off the desk to meet his every thrust. She raised her arms above her head, not caring that she knocked a few papers and pens off the desk. With every deep push of his engorged shaft into her, Spike’s pelvis rubbed against her over sensitive clit and that was all she needed. Buffy bit on her hand to muffle the shout of his name as she came harder than she ever did before. The clenching of her inner walls around his cock pushed Spike over the edge. They kept their eyes open and locked with each others as they rode wave after wave of the intense pleasure.

Spent, Spike lay down on top of her, careful not to crush her under his weight, and captured her lips in a tender kiss.

“You’re bloody amazing, Buffy. Did I ever tell you what an amazing woman you are? Doesn’t matter if I did though, I think it needs to be said again and again.”

She smiled lazily and stretched like a contented kitten beneath him. “You’re the one who makes me amazing. Without you, I was nothing but a shell.” She reached out and caressed his cheek. “You’re perfect, you know that?”

He chuckled. “No I’m not.”

“Yes you are. You’re perfect for me. And I love you.”

(end of part 1)

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A/N: And that would be the end of the "holidays" chapters. I loved it and I think it turned out pretty good, but I'll have to say... Thank God. The holidays are long over and it's time for the story to move on. There's so much more to come and I hope you guys are still loving it. But before we do, here's part 2 of Celebration. I hope you'll enjoy it. Let me know.. Review! :D



CHAPTER 28: Celebration (part 2)




Spike’s happy mood dropped a notch when he noticed Buffy putting her dress back on. He frowned and pouted like a petulant child.

“What the bleedin’ hell do you think you’re doing there, missy?”

“Putting my dress back on.” She stated the obvious, playing innocent.

“I noticed that. But I thought this was going to be a… naked party of some sort.”

“First, YOU put you clothes back on, so I don‘t see why I should be the only one naked at your naked party.” Buffy said in a scolding tone while stalking to where he was sitting on the couch. “Second, I bought this damn dress for you, so I’m gonna wear it, and you’re gonna love it. Got it?”

“Yes ma’am.” Spike grinned at her when she came to sit on his lap, the bottle of champagne in her hand. He took the bottle from her and looked at the label. Perrier Jouet. “Fancy stuff. Especially for a man who’s tasted nothing but artificially flavored juice, instant coffee and water for the past eight months or so. Shouldn’t we keep this for midnight though?”

“Maybe…” Buffy coughed loudly and Spike frowned in concern. “But we risk being interrupted by Giles if we wait too long. It would be a shame to waste it.”

Spike ignored what she said, still concerned about her coughing fit. “You sick, pet?”

She pouted. “Yeah. But don’t worry; I saw the doctor and she gave me some antibiotics. I will be right as rain before you know it. Until then, you can gargle with the champagne, the alcohol will kill the bacteria. Wouldn’t want you to get sick too now would we?” She joked lightly.

“It was a rough couple of days.” She added softly. “I was upset and didn’t get much sleep. That’s probably why I got sick in the first place. But I’ll be fine now.”

He smiled at her, deciding to drop the subject. Their time together was always numbered and he didn’t want to waste it by going back on what happened. Seeing Buffy just looking at the bottle in her hands, he finally rolled his eyes and took it from her.

“Give me that. I can’t believe you’re scared of the big bad bottle of champagne.”

“Hey! I’m not scared of it. It’s just--things like that can turn into mighty dangerous weapons in my hands. I’d probably send the cork flying all over the room, it would bounce off a wall and come back to hit me in the eye. I love my eyes and don’t want anything to happen to them, that’s all.”

“Love your eyes too, kitten.” He kissed her on the nose and she blushed prettily.

In one swift motion, he had the bottle opened with a soft ‘pop’ and without spilling any of the precious bubbles. He poured the expensive treat into the two plastic glasses she had brought with her, and handed her one.

“Wow.” She said, clearly amazed. She frowned pensively. “You know you’re a complete mystery?”

“How’s that?”

“Well…” She drawled, not sure how to explain it.

“Come on, hit me with it. I open a bottle of champagne and you tell me I’m a mystery. That ought to make a man curious. So what brought this on?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that… you opened the bottle like an expert…”

“And the fact that I didn’t waste half the bottle by spilling it on the floor is a bad thing?”

“No. It just reminded me that I don’t know much about your past. Sure, you told me about how you ended here, but I mean, before that. I don’t know anything. What your life was like, how you ended up in California in the first place… that kind of stuff.”

Spike looked pensive for a moment, looking down at the glass he was holding. He finally took a deep breath. “And you got all that from the way I opened the bottle?”

“Yeah. It seemed natural. As if you’d opened bottles of champagne all your life.”

“Well, my dad was rich and he loved to impress his rich friends. So we always had champagne around the house.”

“Tell me more.” She asked, eager to find out everything she could about him.

“Why don’t we toast first, pet?”

She lifted a questioning eyebrow. “Is this your way of avoiding?”

“No. It’s my way of saying that this champagne is very tempting, and I’d also like to taste that delicious food you brought with you some time soon. So let’s toast, sit on the floor around the coffee table to eat, and then we can talk.” His eyes brightened with something close to lust when he spotted one of the food containers. “Are those chicken wings?”

Buffy chuckled. “Yes. And they’re spicy too.”

He licked his lips in anticipation.

She sighed exaggeratedly. “I just found out it IS possible to be jealous of chicken wings. Who would have known? If only you’d look at me like that…”

“Oi! I do so. It’s just that, these are the main course, and you’re the dessert. I’ll go back to looking at you with hunger when I’m done with the wings. Promise.”

They laughed and Buffy raised her glass. “Here’s to true love found when we least expected it and we both thought it would never happen, hopes of finding a way to overcome the obstacles lurking in front of us, and a new year that just HAS to be much better than the one we just left behind because there is no way it can be worst. Oh… and to chicken wings. Cheers.”

“Amen to that, pet. Cheers!”

Not taking their eyes off each other, they drank from their glasses.

“Is THAT Christmas pudding?” Spike asked excitedly before getting off the couch to go sit on the floor on the other side of the small table.

Buffy giggled at his childlike behavior and went to sit in front of him. “So that was a good idea then? I wasn’t sure.”

“Are you bloody kidding me? That’s a brilliant idea, pet!”

“The lady who owns the bakery close to my house is British. I talked to her this morning and when I told her my boyfriend was British and I wanted something special for him, she said that Christmas pudding is a big holiday tradition in the UK. She didn’t have any left for sale but she had some that she makes for her friends and family and since she likes me, she gave me one. If it’s as good as her croissants, it must be pretty amazing.”

He dug in the chicken wings and eagerly shoved one in his waiting mouth. “She said the truth. It is a big holiday tradition in England. But that’s not why I’m so happy. My grandmum used to make the best Christmas pudding in all the country. Nana would cook such an incredible feast for Christmas eve or New Year’s eve that I would make sure not to eat all day to make room for all the food she’d make. She was great. An old, wise and loving angel. She had white hair down to her waist that she’d always pull up into a complicated knot, smelled like candies, had a warm smile and sparkling blue eyes.”

“Is that where you get your eyes from?”

“We looked a lot alike, yeah.”

“What happened to her?” Buffy asked while helping herself to a generous portion of green curry chicken.

The only restaurant she had found that was open on New Year’s Eve was a Thai restaurant, but it was all good because Spike had already told her not too long ago that he loved Thai food. Then she had stopped at a pizza place to buy tons of chicken wings, another of Spike’s weaknesses. So they had green curry chicken, beef satay, coconut steamed rice and chicken wings. Enough food to feed an army, but at the rate Spike was shoving the food down his throat, it wouldn‘t be a problem at all.

“She died of cancer when I was eight. My life sucked after that because she was the only person in my family who gave a damn about me.”

Buffy looked up at him. “Don’t say that. I’m sure it’s not true. What about your mom and your dad?” She had such a loving relationship with her own mother that it was hard for her to believe that a mother could not love her own child. But the sadness in Spike’s eyes told her otherwise.

He snickered. “My mother left dad and I two years after nana‘s death. The day of my tenth birthday. The woman never loved me.”

“Spike. You are her son. How could she not love you?”

“Let’s just say I wasn’t her idea of the perfect son. My parents, Ethan and Cecily, both had flamboyant personalities. They were wealthy socialites and they always had something exciting going on in their lives. I can see why I wouldn’t be the kind of child they had dreamed of. I was a shy, romantic, introverted boy who would spend entire afternoon reading books or writing poetry under a tree at the far end of the estate. I was lonely but it didn’t bother me. The only kids my age I would hang out with were my parent’s friends’ children. And they always had a great time torturing me and making fun of my poetry. My parents had nothing else to say about it but that I should toughen up and stop embarrassing them. Mum--God bless her--once told one of her friends that she was ashamed to say I was her son. I overheard and never forgot those words. So you see, I doubt she had that much trouble leaving me behind.”

Buffy couldn’t quite meet his eyes. “Did you… love her?”

The chuckle he let out was devoid of any of humor. “With all my foolish young heart. Which made it even harder. The bloody bint never even mentioned my name in the note she left my dad that day. She said she wasn’t happy with her life, she needed to find herself, and that was it. Two years later, I got a postcard from her. I remember because it was a week after my birthday. It didn’t say anything about me, didn’t say that she missed me, that she apologized, that she loved me, not even a mention of my birthday. All it said was that she was doing well and that she had met someone and that Brazil was fabulous. Never heard from her again.”

“I’m sorry I brought it up, Spike.” Buffy whispered, playing with her chicken. She had lost her appetite.

“Don’t be. You were right; you should know these things about my past. Besides, it doesn’t hurt all that much anymore. I’m more angry than hurt.”

“What did your dad and you do after that?”

“My dad decided that we should move to the promised land. The bloody United States of bloody America. He wanted to do business here. We didn't have any trouble moving here because his parents were Americans so he had double citizenship and so do I. I learned to love it here--though I’m not so sure anymore--but at first, I hated it. The moving from one city to the other probably didn’t help any. I think we lived in ten different places in five years. New York, Boston, Chicago, Seattle, Houston, Louisiana and finally, L.A. That’s where I drew the line. I told him I was going to finish high school and go to university there. He said fine, and left. I think he was glad to be rid of me. He always blamed me for my mom’s departure. So he sent money to pay for my expenses, but that was the only contact I had with him.”

A little voice in her head was telling her to shut up because the conversation was so emotional for him and she didn’t want to make it worst, but Buffy couldn’t help her curiosity. “Clem told me that…”

“He died?”

She nodded.

“Yeah, he did. Last time I heard from the bloody bastard was after I got arrested. I called him and he told me I was a disgrace to his name. Never heard his voice again. Two months later, just after I arrived here, I was told that he had been shot. Probably someone he owed money to who was tired of waiting for him to pay back. He left me all his money, which was absolutely nothing compared to the fortune we had when I was younger, but it’s still a bit of money. Clem is taking care of it for me.”

“Geez, way to bring the mood down with my stupid questions, huh? But I’m glad you told me all that. Sure, I could have chosen a better time to ask, but I want to know everything about you.”

He leaned over the table to give her a quick, chicken wing flavored, kiss. “Don’t worry about the mood, pet. Nothing could ruin this night. But since we’re into dark, depressing topics, you’ll have to share something too.”

“I guess that’s fair.” She served them a refill of champagne and then told him the story about her mom’s cancer.

“Well, pet, I can honestly say that this story contributed nicely to our little moping session.”

Buffy gave him her warmest smile, despite the seriousness of the conversation. “Oh no, don’t think it’s a sad story. I mean, yes, these were very hard days for our family. But some positive came out of it in the end.”

“Really? How so?” He asks, genuinely curious how she could turn her mother’s cancer into something positive.

“Well, for one thing, I will never take my mom for granted again. I now cherish every single moment I spend with her. Every second in her company is precious to me. If it hadn't happened, I would still think that mom would always be there. Also, before the whole thing happened, Dawn and I were the very picture of sibling rivalry. We loved each other, but we were arguing non stop. We still bicker, but it’s all in good fun and we grew closer because we had to rely on each other. I love that little brat and would give my life to protect her. That’s something I didn’t have before and I’m grateful for it.”

Spike was looking at her with undisguised admiration. Every reason he had to love her had been multiplied by a hundred after what she’d just told him. How could he not find the good in what had happened to him, when this woman sitting in front of him could find it in the darkest moment of her own life?

“You are so courageous, Buffy. I wish I could have your strength. Sure, you brought some light into my life, but when I’m not with you, it’s dark everywhere I look. ”

“Spike, don’t give up hope. I don’t think I’m strong enough to hope for both of us.”

“Hope for what, luv? It’s not like I have a future you know.”

He cut two portions of the Christmas pudding and served them in the little plastic plates she had brought. Buffy looked away to hide the tears that welled up in her eyes at his statement.

“Why can’t you hope? Don’t you have any faith in me? Do you think I’ll just sit back and watch you suffer in this goddamn hellhole? You know what I did when I woke up this morning and realized it was the last day of the old year? I promised myself that next year, we’d be celebrating New Year together, at home, surrounded by friends and family. I’ll cook all day and pray that it will be edible, you’ll help me by cleaning up the house and doing grocery runs for whatever I forgot to buy, you’ll complain about the tie I’ll make you wear saying that it makes you look like a pansy. Your friend Clem will come, and my mom and Dawn, and…”

With every word she said, Spike’s expression darkened. His jaw was clenched and he closed his eyes until he couldn’t take it anymore and had to stop her.

“Stop! Please, stop, Buffy. Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?”

His words were hard, efficiently snapping her out of her little fantasy.

“W-what?..” She asked, confused by his outburst.

“Can’t you see? You put all those ideas in my head and make me believe. You dangle something I can never have in front of my eyes, but just out of reach.”

He stood up abruptly and started pacing. When he stopped to look at her, his face was angry, but his eyes were glistening with tears.

“What is this? Why are you saying these things to me? Do you really believe what you’re saying, or are you just cruel? I don’t get it! What are you thinking?! Do you have any soddin’ idea how much it hurts? Do you know how much I want all this? I dream about this every fucking night, Buffy. Every night. I want it all, but I won’t have it. I. WILL. DIE. HERE.” He spat the last words as if it were poison burning his tongue.

He was breathing hard, his chest constricted by the pain her words had awoken in him. It was always there, and the images she’d brought up reopened a wound he had been careful not to touch. But his anger came to a screeching halt, and his pain took a backseat to hers when he realized she was sobbing with her face in her hands. Her small body shaking from the force of her tears. She was mumbling something that he couldn’t hear.

Realizing what he had done, Spike rushed to her side and gathered her into his arms. “Oh God, Buffy…”

“I’m so sorry! I’m sorry, Spike. Please… so sorry.” She hiccupped, hiding her face against his chest, her hands clinging to his shirt. “I didn’t want to make you hurt, I swear. I just thought--I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry.”

“Buffy! Stop. Come on, pet. Stop crying, you’re gonna make me cry too. Please, kitten, look at me.” He took her face between his hands to force her to look at him. Her eyes were red and puffy, her cheeks wet with tears.

“I’m the one who should be sorry, not you. You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m a right bloody wanker for doing this to you. No matter how I feel, I should have had some control instead of going off like that. I know you meant well.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you. I just wanted… to give you hope.” Her voice was so low that he could barely hear what she said.

“Buffy, it‘s OK, pet. Don‘t cry. Hey--It‘s OK.”

She tried to look down, but he stopped her. “No. Look at me. What you’ve done for me tonight, it’s amazing. I had no right to act like this and ruin it. No one has ever done something like this for me, Buffy. No one. I can’t begin to tell you what it means to me that you’d go through all this trouble for me. And there I am, ruining it by being a selfish bastard. Don’t cry because of me, please.”

She threw her arms around his neck and hid her face against his shoulder, holding him to her. “I don’t want us to fight, Spike.” Her words were muffled by his shoulder.

“So let’s not.”

He held in his arms for the longest time, just caressing her hair and not saying anything. Then, he reluctantly pushed her away.

Her eyes searched his face for answers, wondering why he wasn’t holding her anymore. But he only smiled.

“The clock on that wall says its thirty seconds to midnight. I thought you’d want to know that.”

Her mouth opened in realization. “Oh! I almost forgot!”

They watched in silence as the seconds ticked by, then, when it hit midnight, their lips met in a heated kiss.

“Happy New Year, Buffy.” Spike said when they broke apart.

“Happy New Year, Spike. I love you.”

“I love you too… and I’m sorry for being such a buggering wanker earlier.”

“And I’m sorry for being such a buggering insensitive idiot earlier… whatever buggering means.”

They kissed again, lost in each other. This time, Buffy was the one to break the passionate lip lock. “Should we eat dessert, or keep making out?”

“Can’t we do both?”

She smiled. “I don’t see why not.”

Spike pulled her on his lap and started feeding her Christmas pudding, alternating between bites and kisses. That’s how Giles found them a couple of minutes later.

His already somber expression got worst when he realized something. “You didn’t lock the bloody door!”

Buffy paled. “Oh God! I forgot…”

“So much for being careful, Buffy.” Giles snapped at her. “But that’s the least of our worries right now.”

Both Buffy and Spike stood up at once.

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Turns out, the excuse I used to get you here wasn’t as unjustified as I thought it was. A riot started in the cafeteria ten minutes ago. We contained it, but Devon got hurt. He’s in a bad shape and I’m not sure he’ll make it. He was rushed to the hospital. Jake was with him and he’s really shaken.”

“Shit. Anybody else was hurt?” She asked while readjusting her clothes.

“A few prisoners, but nothing too serious. You’d better come with me. We’ll drop Spike by the infirmary on the way.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s where he’s supposed to be right now. That was the excuse I used to buy him time with you. Let’s go.”

Giles put the handcuffs back on Spike’s wrists and the two blondes followed him out of the office.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



CHAPTER 29: Support in rough times



“Be nice to prison boys,” Faith snickered after taking a vicious bite out of her double chocolate doughnut. “Offer them a midnight gathering in the cafeteria with half-decent food to celebrate New Year, and they turn it into something bloody. I mean, Devon was no angel, but he still didn’t deserve this. It could have been me, you know?”

“No Faith, it wouldn’t have been you. The only reason it happened to him is because Devon never respected the prisoners and by acting the way he did, he made himself a main target for their anger.” Willow said while blowing on the steam rising from her cup of coffee. The week’s events had left her usually perky voice flat and lifeless, and her tired green eyes didn‘t have their familiar spark.

Buffy remained silent, staring pensively out the window of the coffee shop at the passerbys. The Espresso Pump was bursting with activity, crammed with loud and cheery people, but the happy atmosphere wasn’t nearly enough to chase away the gloom at the table by the window. Willow, Faith and herself had stopped for comfort food and coffees after the guard’s funeral, hoping to calm their raging emotions. They had asked Giles to come with them, but he had declined saying that a stiff drink was waiting for him at home.

The past week had been hell for all the prison staff. It had been even harder on Buffy. The warden had been the one to contact Devon’s family to tell them the gruesome new, then she’d spent the week going back and forth between Sunnydale and L.A. to hand out reports, talk in front of an assembly of men in suits who looked at her as if she was the cause of the guard’s death, and sign paperwork. She was emotionally drained.

“It wouldn’t have happened to you.” The redhead continued, trying to sooth Faith‘s restless agitation and anger over New Year‘s drama. “You know how the guys respect you and how protective of you they can get. Remember when that new inmate tried to attack you?”

“Yeah, the poor dude got some major ass-whupping for that one.” Faith managed a small smile at the memory. “Good times.”

The brunette sighed heavily and they all remained silent for a moment, lost in their own not-so-happy thoughts.

“I know it happened at Donovan last month--a guard got stabbed in the yard--” Faith finally said, breaking the heavy silence. “But that’s something I never thought would happen in our neck of the woods. Things are always so quiet at SunnyD that it came as a shock. I always thought we ended up with all the fluffy puppies of the criminal world.”

Willow smiled slightly at the comment, but Buffy didn’t react. Faith gave Willow a meaningful look. Both women had noticed Buffy’s uncharacteristic silence and they were worried about her.

“B? Are you all right?”

It took a moment, but finally processing the fact that she was ‘B’ and therefore, she was the one Faith was talking to, she turned to look at her.

“I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“I said, are you all right? You haven’t said a word since we arrived here. You’re getting me all worried and I’m not used to caring. So spill before my brain explodes.”

Buffy took a sip of her now cold vanilla latte before answering. “Jim dandy. Why? Should I have a reason not to be on board the happy train?”

“Hey, sarcasm girl, chill. Excuse me for caring.” Faith snapped.

The blonde looked down, ashamed by her own attitude. “Sorry, Faith. I didn’t mean to sound like a bitch. It’s just…”

“Too much emotion for a week?” Willow provided helpfully.

“Yeah, that. It feels like I’m stuck in a tornado and it won’t let me go until I’m dizzy enough.”

“Not in Kansa anymore, Dorothy?” Faith smiled slightly.

“Nope. More like the mouth of Hell if you ask me. This week has been so intense and crazy that I can’t even think straight anymore. I can’t wait to get my life back. After hearing the news on TV, my mom left about ten messages on my answering machine, along with the other forty I had waiting, and I haven’t had time to call her back yet.”

“You’re mom worries about you?” Faith whistled. “Nice. You know, I’ve heard of mothers caring about their kids, but it never happened to me so I assumed that was fairytale bullshit.”

“I’m sure your mom understands, Buffy. And if she got it from the news, she probably knows you’re fine. They did say the victim was a male…” She looked at the two women sitting at the table with her. “Didn’t they? I think they did, but you can never be sure. Because if they didn’t, then that’d be of the bad. She could think…”

“They did, Willow.” Buffy interrupted before the redhead’s babbling got too out of hand. “Doesn’t matter though. She still worries about me and now, she’s going to worry even more. She knows the prison is a rough work environment. Hearing that a guard was killed at my prison isn’t gonna give her warm happy feelings. But that’s not why I’m so upset. The guy was under my protection. All of you are. And I let that happen to him. I should have prevented it.”

Faith snorted at that comment. “What’s with the super hero complex, girl? Give me a break… No one could have prevented this and you know that. The only way to avoid a riot would be to have the guys locked up 24/7. Things like that are bound to happen. Especially since they’re getting more clever every day when it comes to making weapons from scratch. If those damn bastards used their brains as much for studying as they use it to come up with new and interesting ways to hurt others, the prison would be full of doctors, lawyers and engineers.”

“That’d be interesting. We could turn the prison into a genius factory.” Willow added, her green eyes dancing with humor.

They all chuckled but their mirth died quickly. Buffy sighed.

“I feel like such a hypocrite. I mean… here I am, all upset, and I didn’t even like the guy. He devoted all his waking hours to talking behind my back and making sure that everybody hates me.”

“It’s normal you feel that way, Buffy. When someone dies, people usually spend hours saying nice things about that person and how they’re going to miss him. But Devon wasn’t really nice.”

“Did you know him well?” Buffy asked Willow.

Faith snorted and Buffy gave her curious look.

“What?” Then she jumped to the wrong conclusion and looking at the red head, her eyes widened in shock. “You didn’t sleep with him, did you?”

Faith burst out laughing and Willow turned red.

“God, NO!”

“Then why did you laugh, Faith?”

“Because it’s kinda funny how Will hated the guy’s guts, and yet, owes him her sappy romantic love story. It’s deliciously ironic… But I think Miss Smarty-pants should be the one to tell the story.”

Buffy looked at Willow expectantly.

“It’s no big deal, really. It’s just that--well--Devon used to be the front man for Dingoes Ate My Baby before they were known. He was a jerk, but one day, he came to work and invited everybody to his gig at The Bronze. I hated his guts, but you know me… I’m a softy. So when I found out no one was going, I decided to be nice and stop by. That’s how I met Oz. A few weeks later, the guys decided to kick Devon out of the band and Oz became the lead singer. After that, Devon started calling me Yoko. As if I had anything to do with him getting kicked out of the band” Willow pouted, obviously still upset.

Buffy didn’t know what to say. “Wow. That’s… wow. So I guess I’m not the only one with conflicted feelings here today?”

“Nope. Make that two of us.”

“Hey! What about me?” Faith huffed, annoyed at being left out. “I have conflicted feeling too you know.”

“That’s hardly front page news, Faith.” Buffy pointed out, a smirk on her face. The brunette narrowed her eyes threateningly, but didn’t answer.

“Did something happen with Devon?” Willow asked, unable to help her curiosity.

“You bet! I kicked his ass good and proper once. I had just started at SunnyD and Devon thought his seniority gave him the right to try the goods. He cornered me one night in the lunch room and tried to feel me up. Let’s just say he left the room with a nasty black eye and couldn’t sit for a week. I’m sure his balls where the size of grapefruits when I was done with him. Or maybe just regular size since he had very small ones to start with. ”

“And now that he’s dead, you’re feeling guilty about this?” Willow asked with a warm, compassionate smile.

Faith snickered. “As if. I just wanted to share a funny story to cheer you girls up.”

Willow rolled her eyes while Buffy tried in vain to suppress her laughter. But all the stress she had accumulated over the past week was suddenly too much for her and she started giggling madly. Her hilarity was contagious and it didn’t take long for the two other women to give in. Soon, they were all in hysterics with people at the tables around giving them strange looks.

When Buffy calmed down enough to speak, she wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at her two friends.

“You do realize we’re nuts, right?”

“Speaking for myself, I’ve always been on the crazy side of the tracks so I’m not too worried. But I seriously think the last week would have turned anybody wacko. I‘m just shocked that we haven’t been trying on straight jackets for size yet. ” Faith winked playfully at Buffy.

“At least, we can still laugh. So I think there is hope for us.” Willow added cheerfully.

Buffy smiled at her childhood friend. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy walked into the cafeteria, closely followed by Giles and Faith. The rest of the staff was already there waiting for her to arrive. Two hundred and forty six inmates were gathered in the room, sitting at the tables. Their usual rowdiness had been somewhat toned down by the seriousness of the situation. Even the ones currently in isolation had been brought out to hear what the warden had to say. The only ones who would be missing the speech were the twelve who were locked away permanently in what they called the ‘prison inside the prison’. These were guys who had committed crimes while inside, and that included the two guys who had attacked Devon on that fateful night of New Year’s Eve. But they didn’t need to hear her speech because they’d already had their own version of it when Buffy had stopped by for a personal visit. Unfortunately for them, their version had been a whole lot scarier than the one the rest of the guys were about to hear.

The guards, as well as the other staff members, all looked up when the woman they now recognized as their boss walked in. Her gaze was glacial, her body rigid with barely controlled rage. The inmates instantly started whispering amongst themselves, the hushed sound growing louder as Buffy stood there in silence. The longer she remained immobile and quiet, the more confused both staff and prisoners became. It lasted until her cold stare started making everybody uncomfortable. One by one, the prisoners shut their mouths, until silence was finally restored. Almost.

One man kept talking, not caring that he could be heard, and showing a lack of respect that was typical of him. Buffy focused her murderous stare on the dark haired prisoner, but he seemed oblivious. When he chuckled at some clever comment he’d made, she lost it.

In three quick strides, she was in the prisoner’s face, grabbing him roughly by the front of his shirt and lifting him slightly off the chair in her fury. “Do you think it’s funny, Parker? Do you? Cause watch me not laugh.”

She held his glare steadily until he looked down, intimidated by the hatred he saw in the young woman’s eyes.

Buffy finally turned to look at two of the guards standing there. “Take him away to the hole. See who’s laughing now.”

She smiled coldly as both of Parker’s arms were grabbed by the guards and he was lifted off the chair.

“Anybody else thinks it’s funny?”

She waited a beat for an answer, but the inmates were all looking down in silence. Even Spike, who was sitting with Gunn right next to where she was standing, couldn’t quite look at her.

“Didn’t think so.”

But as the guards attempted to put the handcuffs on an enraged Parker, the prisoner managed to shove them away and lunged at Buffy. In a heartbeat, Spike was on his feet to interfere, closely followed by Gunn. To her credit, Buffy didn’t flinch or even back away. She just stood there glaring menacingly at Parker while more guards rushed to her side, worried that this would turn into another riot.

Spike put himself protectively between the warden and Parker while Gunn held the other prisoner back from behind, his arms wrapped painfully tight around the smaller man.

“What the bloody hell did you think you were doing there, you stupid git?” Spike said, his voice dangerously calm. The look in his eyes was a promise of excruciating pain in Parker’s near future if he didn’t back off.

“Attempting to wipe the smile off that fucking whore’s face. That’s what.”

Spike took a step forward, his self-control wearing thin. No one called Buffy a whore. She put her hand on his arm to stop him, and he did, but the clenching and unclenching of his fists and the tension in his jaw told her that one more word from Parker and Spike would lose it. She prayed that the bastard would shut his mouth; she didn‘t want Spike to get into a fight with him.

“Watch it, mate. The bird’s doing her job, just like Devon was. He might have been a right bastard, but he didn’t deserve what happened to him. It’s wankers like you that make all our lives miserable in here. So maybe you should take a moment to rethink what you were about to do. I wager you’ll have a lot of time alone in the hole to think, so use it. And if you don’t see the light and still feel like attacking the warden, you and me will have a go. You can be sure of it. Now bugger off.”

As if on cue, the two guards, angry that they had let Parker escape their hold, pushed him roughly face first against a table and slapped the handcuffs on his wrists.

The whole room watched in silence as Parker was led away. Buffy turned to Gunn and Spike and gave them a quick grateful nod.

“Thank you. Both of you. You’re Gunn, right?” She asked the tall black man.

“Yes ma’am. Don’t worry, it was nothing. Parker’s an asshole.”

She smiled at the comment, her eyes darting to Spike. He was trying to pretend that nothing happened, but she could tell he was upset. Deciding not to say anything and thank him in private instead, she turned back to the room.

“Life just got a whole lot harder… for all of you. Leaders, followers, innocent, guilty, I don’t give a fuck. I try to keep life bearable for you in here, and THAT’S HOW YOU THANK ME?! Mark my words: you will all pay for this heinous crime. The next month will be HELL.” She paused to look around the room, making sure she put her point across. “Maybe this way, next time some smart ass decides to start a party, you’ll stop him instead of following like sheep. You lost my trust and now you’ll have to work to get it back. Let the lesson be learned.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy was emotionally exhausted after talking to everybody for more than half an hour, describing the punishment in detail and laying out the new rules that would be applied for the next month. She was now walking down a hall with Giles and Faith after leaving the cafeteria and the protesting prisoners, when a small group of the guards stopped her.

“Ms. Summers?”

She turned to face them, unsure of what they wanted. She looked up at the one who had addressed her, a tall black guy who looked like a bodybuilder. For a second, she tried remembering his name. Roger?… no, Raymond.

“Yes, Raymond. Is there something wrong?” She looked questioningly at the five other guards standing a step behind him.

The black giant looked almost embarrassed. He couldn’t quite meet her eyes when he spoke. “We’ve been talking, Ms. Summers. Ya know… After all that happened this week and all that. We just thought, well…”

Buffy sighed tiredly. “What is it you want to tell me, Raymond?”

Her voice was lifeless, as if she’d used all the energy she had left to speak to the prisoners and now the fight had drained out of her. If these guys were there to tell her how incompetent she was or how much they hated working for her, she wouldn’t have the strength to even answer, let alone to defend herself.

“We’ve acted like real jerks towards you Ms. Summers. That wasn’t right.”

There were a few nods from the men behind him. Buffy frowned in confusion, but let him finish what he had to say.

“Since you arrived here, we did everything we could to make your life horrible and you didn’t deserve that. You’re doing a great job here and we wanted to say that we’re sorry and you can count on us to back you up from now on.”

Buffy was dumbfounded and it took her a few moments to collect her thoughts and get over her shock. She finally managed a smile, eyes bright with the tears she was not going to shed in front of them.

“Thank you… All of you. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

She could at least say that today, she’d won a battle.

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A/N: Hey... and don't forget my reviews. It's like my pay check lol Need it. OK, fine. I know I haven't been good and it took me a long time to update, but that doesn't mean I deserve to be punished. Does it? I hope not. Is it my fault if I have to work, damn it? Alright, I promise to be good from now on. I've already started writing chapter 30 and 31 so the next update should be soon. Come on guys, give me some feedback :)

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Chapter 30: Intervention




The door bell rang for the third time when Buffy finally decided to get up to investigate who had the audacity to so rudely interrupt her sleep. Didn’t matter that it was three in the afternoon… still rude.

She put on her baby blue satin robe and matching fluffy slippers and tiredly dragged her feet to the front door. There, on her porch, stood almost everybody she knew. Her jaw dropped and she stared at them, unable to form a word.

Cordelia, holding Camille in her arms, led the pack. One step behind her where Xander, Willow, Dawn and Joyce, and they were all wearing smiles that were almost creepy in their put on cheerfulness.

“What a lovely vision you are, Miss Summers. The ‘I-just-rolled-out-of-bed’ look suits you.” Cordelia said, fake smile still firmly in place.

Buffy glared at her friend, still too groggy to think of a suitable reply.

“You do know it’s, like, three in the afternoon, right?” Dawn commented. She was the only one who didn’t bother hiding her amusement at the pathetic sight her sister presented.

“Didn’t know there was a law stating that I have to get up in the a.m. But then again, I’m no lawyer so what do I know?.. What are you guys all doing here?”

“The L.A. gang is here to cheer you up Sleepy-head.” Cordelia exclaimed with enthusiasm. You could take the girl out of the cheerleader’s squad, but you certainly couldn’t take the cheerleader out of the girl.

Cordelia turned to the others, waiting for them to approve. “Isn’t that right?”

Everybody nodded vigorously, except Joyce.

“Technically, I live in San Francisco, so…”

“And I live here in Sunnydale.” Willow added, frowning slightly.

But at Cordelia’s raised eyebrow, they both hurriedly changed the subject and decided it was safer to agree with her.

“Cordy is right, honey. We’re all here to see how you’re doing and show you support after the horrible week you probably just had.”

There it was, Buffy thought. The worried-mom look. She tried her best to smile comfortingly at her mom, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Look guys, that was nice of you and all, but…”

Xander, who was loaded with bags, pushed his way through the door. Buffy didn’t have a choice but to step aside to avoid a collision.

“We’ve got food.” He said as a form of excuse.

Everybody else followed him inside, ignoring Buffy’s groan of protest.

“What IS this? An intervention? I appreciate the thought, really, I do. But I’m not depressed, I’m TIRED. And what is the best way to help tired people?.. Letting them sleep!” She waited for a reaction from the invaders, but they merely started setting the table. “Please?”

Buffy’s brain was having a hard time processing what had just happened. One minute, she was comfortably cocooned in her warm bed, the next, she was in the living room and there’s a bunch of people happily chatting and moving around in her kitchen. The smell of food, probably lunch if the smell was any indication, made her grimace in disgust. All she wanted was a very strong cup of coffee, maybe a toast, and some peace and quiet. She wouldn’t get what she wanted any time soon.

**God, what is this smell?.. Lasagna?! Ew.**

Seeing her big sister turning slightly green, Dawn walked up to her. She took Buffy’s hand and started tugging her towards the stairs.

“C’mon. Let’s get you all decent and pretty.”

“I don’t wanna.” Buffy whined.

Dawn stopped and turned to look at her. “What,” She whispered in a conspiratorial tone “You don’t want to get away from the cheerful intervention? I thought…”

She giggled when Buffy perked up at the thought and quickly nodded. They made their way to her bedroom and Dawn closed the door behind them. But when Buffy ran and took a dive into her bed, swiftly pulling the sheets over her head, Dawn’s mouth opened in disapprobation.

“Hey!.. That’s not… HEY! You’re cheating you big freak! I brought you here to get you dressed, not go back to bed.”

Buffy’s face reappeared from beneath the sheets, but only long enough so she could speak. “And I told you I don’t WANNA.” And she disappeared again.

“God, you‘re such a baby. Anybody looking at us right now would definitely think that you’re the college kid and I’m the mature adult. You do realize that, right?” She sighed when she didn’t get an answer. “Fine. Be that way.”

Dawn took her shoes off and climbed into bed with her infuriating sister. “Come on, move over, you bed hog.”

Buffy scooted over to give Dawn some room, and sighed contentedly when her not-so-little sister put her arm around her and cuddled. After a moment spent in that peace and quiet Buffy had been dreaming of since the moment her friends had walked in, Dawn spoke again.

“So Buff… What up?”

“Dawn! Don’t say that! ‘Wassup’ was already bad enough, now you kids had to go and remove the ‘s’ all together? That sounds so dumb.”

“And it also makes you feel like an old fart, doesn’t it?”

Buffy pouted. “Yeah.”

The brunette giggled, her blues eyes sparkling with mischief. “All right. What’SSsss up then? How come you’re not happy to see us? And what’s with your sudden inability to get your ass out of bed?”

“What’s wrong with sleeping the day away? I’ve had a rough week and it’s my day off. ”

“Yeah, I figured that much after I called you for the tenth time and you still haven’t called me back. So… That bad huh?”

“Yep. But it’s over now and everything seems to be back in order. Except that I’m exhausted. I think you’re right. I am an old fart.”

They smiled at each other.

“I’m always right. I get that from mom.”

“Smart ass.”

Dawn grinned at the comment, but her smile vanished quickly. “… You’re not happy to see us then?”

Buffy played with a strand of her sister’s long chocolate hair and waited a beat before answering.

“Of course I am. All my favorite people in the world here to show me support. How could I not be? But…”

“But you didn’t feel like having company today?”

“Something like that, yeah. But it’s ok. I’ll get out of bed, put on some clothes and a happy smile. I’m fine, Dawnie. I swear.”

The younger girl hesitated for a moment. “It’s not your fault what happened to that guy. I know you have a tendency to hold yourself responsible when something bad happens, like with Tara…”

“I know, Dawn. But I can’t help feeling a little bit guilty. The fact that I was spending some quality time with Spike when it happened…”

“Has NOTHING to do with it. If you hadn’t been with Spike, you would have been here, or in San Francisco with Mom and I. Same diff. Don’t go thinking it was some kind of punishment for spending time with your sweetie. Shit like that happens. At least, now you know not to throw the prisoners a Valentine’s Day bash.”

Buffy snickered. “Cute.”

Dawn grinned and disentangled herself from her sister’s arms to get up. “I know. Come on. Get up and put on that happy smile. I’ll go get you some clothes.”

Buffy sat up while her little sister disappeared in the walk-in closet. There was a soft knock on the door.

“Yeah?”

The door opened to reveal Cordelia.

“Hey Cord.”

“Hey yourself. Can I come in?”

Buffy’s eyebrows shot up in mocked surprise. “Since when are you all Miss Polite? Who are you and what have you done to my Cordelia?”

“You’re a riot, Summers. You know I can be polite… sometimes.” She sat on the bed next to Buffy. “Where’s Dawn?”

“In there stealing all my clothes.” She motioned with her head toward the closet door. “She said she was gonna find clothes for me to wear, but I’m pretty sure she’s putting half my stuff in a bag so she can sneak back in later and take it with her to L.A.”

There was a muffled “Hey! I heard that!” from the closet and Buffy and Cordelia both smiled at the familiarity of the scene. Dawn borrowing Buffy’s clothes had been the sisters’ number one argument topic when they were younger.

When it seemed obvious that Cordelia wouldn’t elaborate on why she was there, Buffy sighed and asked.

“So, are you here to ask me ‘what’s up’ too, or is there another reason you wanted to see me alone?”

“Well…” Her best friend looked down at her hands, hesitant, which was very uncharacteristic of her.

“Well what?”

“I was just wondering if you’re still trying to find a way to prove that your ‘boyfriend’ is innocent. I know with everything that happened since the holidays, you probably didn’t have much time to work on it.”

Buffy frowned, wondering where her friend was going with this. “Yes. I’m still trying. Not right now because things have been a bit crazy for me, but I’m not going to give up if that’s where you’re going with this.”

Cordelia stood up and handed Buffy what looked like a business card. She took it and looked at it curiously.

“No, that’s not where I’m going. I’ve been thinking about your situation and I realize that you’re going to go through with this. So I thought of this friend of mine who could help you. Give him a call. I already talked to him and he said he’d give you his ‘friendly price’. Believe me, his usual prices are not so friendly.”

Her eyes still on the card, Buffy didn’t know what to say. “Thanks Cordy. It means a lot…”

“Hey, don’t mention it.” She tossed her long hair over her shoulder and gave the blonde her brightest smile, her usual confidence firmly back in place. “Get dressed. Lunch is ready.”

Cordelia walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

“What was that?” Dawn asked, walking back into the bedroom with an armful of clothes.

“Not sure, Dawnie. I’ll find out tonight.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy was sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee and the phone in front of her. Everybody had left about an hour ago and she’d been sitting there since. The sun had set, leaving her in the dark, the only light coming from the halogen spots above the breakfast bar. She turned the business card in her hand, looking at it as if she’d just seen it for the first time. She was stalling and she knew it. So she grabbed the phone and dialed the number quickly before she could change her mind.

“Wyndham-Pryce Investigations, How may I help you?”

“Mr. Wyndham-Pryce ? My name is Buffy Summers. A friend of mine gave me your number… She said you could help me.”

“Ah. Miss Summers. Yes. Cordelia told me you might call. Please, you can call me Wesley.”

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A/N: I'll try to post another chapter before leaving for vacation next Friday. I promise to do my best. Please leave me a review to let me know what you think of this chapter. It's much appreciated, believe me.

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A/N: Hum... yeah, I know. I did promise this update BEFORE my vacation. And I did finish it on time, but my beta couldn't edit it before I left. Long story short, I tried updating from the hotel's internet station, but it wouldn't let me open the file. Anyway, here it is and I hope you'll enjoy it. Lots of sexiness :) And now, with the shameless self-promotion. If like me, you're suffering from winter blues, you might enjoy my new fic Aloha my love. Lots of sun, romance and beach fun for our two favorite blondes. OK, not so much with the sun for Spike cause that wouldn't end well, but you get what I'm saying. If you've read the first chapter on my site a while ago, you might want to read it again. I changed it a bit. All right, I let you read now. Enjoy, and review!



Chapter 31: Cyber virgin



Spike put the paint buckets down and rolled up his sleeves. Gunn was still pouting so he tried ignoring him. The wanker hadn't stopped bitching for the past twenty four hours about being treated like everybody else. Spike hadn't expected anything when he'd jumped to Buffy's help and wasn't surprised at all that he'd have to go through all the punishments just like everybody else. He knew Buffy couldn't risk having someone question her actions by giving him special treatment. But when she had described what everybody would have to do and what the new rules were going to be over the next month, Gunn had just assumed that it didn't apply to them because they had helped her. So when he'd learned that just like everybody else, he'd be allowed only one visit a week, one phone call a week and one hour of free time a day, not to mention all the chores she had planned for them, he hadn't been too thrilled. He still wasn't.


"Damn! You'd think they'd give us the 'warden saviors treatment'. Maybe some fried chicken and a beer. But noooo. Instead, were stuck here painting the fucking fence like everybody else, with half the guys giving us murderous looks. That's not the kind of gratefulness I was expecting."

Losing patience, Spike smacked Gunn behind the head with a paint brush. 'Would you shut your bloody gob about this? We helped because it was the right soddin' thing to do. Not because we were expecting some kind of special treatment."

"Maybe that's why you did it, you being all British and gentlemanly. But I did it because you were about to get your face broken... And because she's kinda hot and I don't like seeing hot chicks being slapped around by a little bitch like Parker." Gunn knelt down to open the bucket. "But I was at least hoping we'd get to watch and laugh while everybody else did the chores."

"News flash, mate. You don't always get rewarded for doing something good. Besides, we're already in enough trouble as it is. In case you haven't noticed yet, everybody here, except the two geeks of doom, want to kick our arses for helping the bloody warden. Miss Summers probably knew that if she'd do us any favours, it'd be like signing our death sentence. Now shut up and paint."

Gunn started dipping his brush in the paint, but stopped when he saw what Spike was doing. The blonde man was busy lighting up a cigarette, leaning casually against the wall.

"What do you think you're doing?" Charles shouted indignantly. "You think I'm gonna paint while you're just standing there doing nothing?"

"Not doing nothing, mate. I'm watching to make sure you don't miss a spot. Being bloody helpful, is what I am."

Gunn threw a brush at him and Spike ducked just in time to avoid it, chuckling as he did.

"No bleedin' sense of humor." He bent down to pick up the brush and started working.

------------------------------------------------------------------------


Buffy sat at her desk at home, working on some paper work. She had left the computer on all day, not wanting to miss Spike if he got online. Thanks to her own stupid rules, he only had an hour of free time a day, and that for the next three weeks. And hour of free time, an hour of yard time, and meals. The rest of the prisoners' time would be used for the various chores her evil brain came up with. She was almost surprised Spike hadn't been pissed at her for making his own personal Hell even more Hellish. To be honest, when she had decided that the most effective way to make sure prisoners understood that riots would not be tolerated would be to punish everyone instead of just the instigators, she'd had a moment of hesitation when the thought of Spike crossed her mind. But she had gone against the impulse to be lenient on Spike's account; she couldn't not do her job because she was in love with one prisoner. That kind of attitude would only lead to badness. So that day, while speaking to the convicts, she had carefully avoided Spike's gaze, afraid that looking at him would make her resolve crumble. She had gone through with the punishment... which led to her current state of pouting. Yes, Buffy Summers, warden extraordinaire, was pouting like an upset little girl.

She wanted to hear Spike's voice but couldn't. They had agreed that he would keep his weekly phone calls for emergencies, or for the end of the week. Today being Monday night, the 'end of the week' thing couldn't be used. And there were no emergencies so to speak...

**I miss him, damn it. Doesn't that count as an emergency?** She thought in a way that even she found childish.

She knew she sounded like a spoiled brat, but she couldn't help herself. She just wanted to hear the sound of his voice. Instead, she was stuck waiting for him to instant message her, or email her. And that was if he'd even get online, which was a big 'if'. The prison only had ten computers for everybody's use. They could all be taken... or he could be busy doing something else, or he could...

Groaning in frustration, Buffy pushed aside the file she had been working on and put her head in her hands. It was almost 9 p.m. If he wasn't online by now, that meant he wouldn't be at all.

As if on cue, the MSN window popped up. Buffy's frown vanished in an instant, replaced by a brilliant smile.

[Bloody_poet] Hello Cutie

[Anne_pet] Hey Sexy. Been waiting for you all day :::pouts::: Missed you

[Bloody_poet] Sorry luv. Don't like to keep my girl waiting. But I have been waiting for the soddin' computer for hours. I put my name on the waiting list, but even the geek in charge of the room—who just happens to be my number one fan—couldn't get me in faster.

[Anne_pet] It's OK. You're here now. Wait. You have a fan? :D lol

[Bloody_poet] 's not bloody funny. The kid is a soddin' nuisance and I have to put up with him every time I want to email you.

[Anne_pet] Awww. Poor baby. The things you wouldn't do for me. Is it that little blonde guy who's into comic books and Sci-Fi stuff? The only time I talked to him, he compared me to some female super hero and went on and on about X-Men. He said something like "You are deceptively tiny and girlie, and yet, you hold the power to bestow unspeakable pain upon men. I can see you as a sexy comic book heroine."

[Bloody_poet] You'd need a costume. Would you consider leather?

[Anne_pet] In your dreams. Anyway, was that the guy you were talking about?

[Bloody_poet] That would be Andrew, yeah.

[Anne_pet] Geez, now I really do feel sorry for you. Do annoying people follow you everywhere you go? First your cellmate, now the comic book rat... Want me to send him somewhere else? Cafeteria duty maybe?

[Bloody_poet] No, don't worry about it. That'd be too cruel. The computer room is his sanctuary. Take him away from it would be like taking me away from my library.

[Anne_pet] All right then. Can't say I didn't offer. I just don't like my man to suffer.

Buffy reclined in her chair, making herself more comfortable. She rested her bare legs sideways on the desk and put the keyboard in her lap. Spike had an hour, and she intended to greedily use every second of his free time to talk to him.

[Bloody_poet] Where are you right now, pet? Just want a visual...

[Anne_pet] In what I call my office away from the office. It's my computer room.

[Bloody_poet] Bit more specific? Give me details; I just want to imagine I'm there with you.

[Anne_pet] Hum, details? OK, let's see... The walls are a dark shade of purple. On my right, there is a large window that takes almost the entire wall and gives me a view on the backyard. It has chiffon curtains same color as the walls but lighter, with gold embroidery. There's also a large painting in a tarnished gold frame on the wall behind me. It's of the ocean right after sunset when the sky is still reddish, with dark blue and some mauve. Very beautiful. Then, of course, you have my desk with my computer and all the gadgets that come with it... printer and all that stuff. It's covered with bills, envelopes, papers... you know me lol. And last, but not least... the piece of furniture that makes my designer friend, Cordelia, fall on her knees and beg me to get rid of it every time she sees it: an old, ratty, grey padded office chair that I stole from my mom when I left home. That thing must be at least a 100 years old, but it's comfy and I like it even if it doesn't go with the decor. Was that detailed enough for you?

[Bloody_poet] Yeah sweets, it was. Almost feels like I'm there. But you forgot a detail.

[Anne_pet] Huh? I did?

[Bloody_poet] What are you wearing?

Buffy blushed, suddenly realizing where he was going with this. But she wasn't against trying something new. Plus, she felt like her hormones had been doing the crazy dance of horniness lately... probably from being Spike-deprived. Maybe this would help.

[Anne_pet] Snow suit? Very ugly one too. Brown.

[Bloody_poet] L You're no fun, pet.

[Anne_pet] And you have a very depraved mind, Mr. Pervert. For your information, I'm... :::blushes:::

[Bloody_poet] You're what luv? You know you can tell me anything.

[Anne_pet] I'm a—cyber virgin.

[Bloody_poet] lol

[Anne_pet] (offended) Are you laughing at me?

[Bloody_poet] And so I repeat: What are you wearing?

[Anne_pet] I might be a cyber virgin, but even I know that's not very original.

[Bloody_poet] It's a classic. Come on, baby. I'd very much like to be your cyber first... and only. I'll be all gentle like, and I promise to make it good for you. So. What are you wearing?

[Anne_pet] Not much actually. Just took a bath. I have my baby blue satin robe on and nothing else. It barely covers my thighs. My hair is still wet and... I smell like vanilla and cinnamon.

There was a long pause before Spike answered and she was starting to worry that he might have lost the connection. Finally, she saw "Bloody_poet is typing" and she waited for his reply.

[Bloody_poet] You sure you've never done this before, you little minx? You nearly made me come in my pants. I wish I'd have some privacy. Suggestion to the warden: invest in some sound proof booths in computer room for cyber sex.

[Anne_pet] I'm sure the warden would have a hard time justifying that expense. Private booths so prisoners can play with themselves while on the internet. I don't see that going over well with everybody. But seriously... I don't want to torture you. Maybe we should stop...

[Bloody_poet] It's sweet torture, kitten. Plus, it'll give me something to fantasize about tonight.

[Anne_pet] Spike?

[Bloody_poet] Yeah Goldilocks?

[Anne_pet] I miss you.

[Bloody_poet] I miss you too. You have no idea how much I bloody miss you. Every second of the day.

[Anne_pet] Uh huh. What about the seconds of the night? You don't miss me then?

[Bloody_poet] Of course not, you silly bint... I spend every night with you. Every night, I hold you in my arms... In my dreams.

[Anne_pet] Good answer J

[Bloody_poet] The things I would do to you if I was with you right now, you have no idea.

[Anne_pet] Please—tell me.

[Bloody_poet] I'd walk into the room and seeing you there, sitting in your ratty old chair and looking so shaggable in nothing but your satin robe, I'd walk right up to you and...

[Anne_pet] You'd walk up to me and what?

[Bloody_poet] Thought you didn't want to do this pet?

[Anne_pet] Changed my mind. What would you do?

[Bloody_poet] I'd kneel in front of you... between your luscious thighs. I'd put my hands on your hips, over the warm satin of your robe, and slowly caress my way up your body all the way to your breasts. I'd spend some time enjoying the feel of the warm slippery fabric gliding under my fingers. Why don't you do it for me, pet? Tonight, your hands will be my hands.

Buffy crossed her arms in front of her, putting one hand on each side of her hips, and slowly trailed them upwards, pretending it was Spike touching her. She closed her eyes and shivered when she reached her breasts, cupping the soft mounds in her hands through the satin. Reaching the keyboard with one already shaking hand, she quickly typed.

[Anne_pet] Still wish it were your hands, but don't stop. Keep talking to me.

[Bloody_poet] Are you touching yourself, luv?

[Anne_pet] Yes.

[Bloody_poet] Good girl. Now, I'd play with your nipples until they'd form hard little peaks underneath the blue satin. I'd suck one into my mouth, wetting the fabric, then I'd blow on it to cool the wetness against your sensitive skin.

Buffy tweaked and pinched her own nipples until they were hard, letting out soft moans of pleasure that he couldn't hear. She was completely caught in the fantasy. She suddenly realized that Spike couldn't hear her and worried that he'd think she was bored and too nice to say it. For all he knew, she could have been filling her nails.

[Anne_pet] Huh... Spike? Am I supposed to write 'moan' or something? Cause I'm all with the moaning here. Just feels kinda weird that you don't know what you do to me. L

[Bloody_poet] Bloody hell, Buffy, you're so adorable and sexy. You drive me wild, woman. I love you.

[Anne_pet] MOAN :D

[Bloody_poet] lol

[Anne_pet] l love you too

[Bloody_poet] Put your hand between your legs... over the robe. That's what I would do if I were with you. I'd trail my fingers ever so lightly over your sex, rubbing your clit slowly with the satin and watching it get a darker shade of blue with your wetness. Are you doing it, luv?

[Anne_pet] God yes

[Bloody_poet] I'd push the robe apart to reveal your sweet little pussy to me and I'd lick it from bottom to top then give your hard little clit a quick suck. You taste so good. Are you wet, Buffy?

[Anne_pet] Always when I think of you baby

[Bloody_poet] And I get so painfully hard thinking of you, beautiful. I wish I could do something about it now. I'm going to have to wait until I'm in my cot, under the blanket, imagining your golden skin against mine, your naked body moving on top of mine... sitting on me with my cock buried inside your quim as deep as it can go.

Buffy almost came at his words. She typed with unsteady fingers.

[Anne_pet] Spike—I'm so close baby. Please.

[Bloody_poet] You're right; enough playing around. I love eating your pussy, but I'm too hard right now. Need to be inside of you. I get up and lift you up in my arms so I can take your place in the chair and have you straddling my thighs. I untie the sash of your robe and slide it along your arms until it rests at your elbows, the shiny blue fabric hanging loosely on either side of you. You're so beautiful, naked in my lap with your golden hair sprawled on your shoulders...

[Anne_pet] I unzip your pants and take your beautiful cock out. I love your cock. Did I ever tell you that? I love the way it fits so perfectly inside of me. How it stretches me and reaches so deep. I need it now. I stroke it a few times in my hand. God I love the way it feels. Your skin is so soft, baby.

[Bloody_poet] Love it when you take control like that luv. So sexy. You're by far the sexiest woman I've ever met. Put it in, kitten. I want to feel you around me—surrounding me.

[Anne_pet] I slide the head over my slit back and forth, getting it slick with my juices. I'm so wet for you, Spike. I rub it over my clit. Damn, I'm not gonna last long, honey. I'm already so close... feels like I'm gonna explode if I don't have you now. I position you at my opening and slam down on your cock, taking you all in. Fuck, you feel so amazing.

[Bloody_poet] That's it, kitten. Fuck yourself with your fingers. Come for me... for both of us.

Buffy didn't have to be told twice. She inserted another finger and pushed as deep as she could go, doing her best to pretend it was the man she loved inside of her even though three fingers were no nearly enough to match the way Spike filed her.

[Bloody_poet] Try to imagine it's me going wild beneath you, lifting my hips to meet you half way, our bodies slamming against one another so hard it almost hurt. It's my cock filling you up. Me. Tell me it's only me, kitten. I need to hear it.

[Anne_pet] Only you. Always. It's never been anybody else.

Her body was craving release. Her hips lifted off the chair rhythmically to meet the thrusts of her fingers, trying to take in as much as she possibly could. The orgasm washed over her with a suddenly that left her wide eyed and gasping for breath.

[Bloody_poet] You still with me, luv? Are you OK?

[Anne_pet] Better than OK :::blushes:::

[Bloody_poet] Should I conclude that you achieved 'little death' then?

[Anne_pet] Thanks to you and your magic words, I did. But I must say the death was more little than it would have been if you were with me.

[Bloody_poet] I bloody well hope so!

[Anne_pet] Don't worry. Nothing can compare to having you in the flesh. No amount of fantasizing, cyber sex, phone sex, sexy email, could replace you. You're irreplaceable, baby and you know it.

[Bloody_poet] Sorry to say that, but I have to leave, Goldilocks. My hour is over. And also, I'm risking a case of blue balls here if I don't do something about it soon.

[Anne_pet] I promise to kiss it better next time I see you.

[Bloody_poet] Promise?

[Anne_pet] Absolutely

[Bloody_poet] All right, then. Sweet dreams, kitten.

[Anne_pet] Good night, Spike. Love you

[Bloody_poet] Love you

[Bloody_poet is not currently signed in]

Buffy sighed and stood up on still wobbly legs. "Oh well. I guess that means it's time for my cold shower."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spike sidestepped Andrew swiftly and hurried out of the computer room.

"Bye, Spike! See you tomorrow, right? Same Bat place, same Bat time?"

Spike couldn't help but stop and turn to throw Andrew an incredulous look. He shook his head in amazement at how strange that boy was, and finally left. The lights were flashing anyway, which meant it was time for all good prisoners to be tucked into their beds.

Under the instructions of the guards, the guys were now making their way to the holding cells area. Spike noticed Gunn walking ahead of him and hurried to catch up to his friend. Both their cells were in the same section so they started walking together, Gunn uncharacteristically silent.

"What's the matter with you? Bad mood, mate?"

"''m fine." The taller man grumbled, belying his words. "I mean, why would I be in a bad mood? My friend's been ditching me for a computer almost every night for a week. Really, I have every reason in the world to be happy. Everything's just fucking fine. What is it anyway? You having some kind of internet romance with one of those chicks who think it's just so 'Bonnie and Clyde' to date a prisoner?"

"Look, Charles, I know you're annoyed and all that rot, but I can't talk about it."

"Yeah. There's been an awful lot of shit you can't talk about lately. I thought I was your friend, man."

Spike stopped walking and grabbed Charles by the sleeve to force him to stop and face him. He placed his hand on the black guy's shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "You ARE my friend. You bloody well know that. And it's not just because we're stuck in here together and I have no other options but to be friends with you. You'd be my mate even if we were out there. But I wouldn't even be able to tell my confessor if I had one. You'd be the first person I'd be talking to if I could. Can you understand that?"

'"Is it illegal?"

Spike sighed. "No. But it could hurt someone real bad if the word gets out. So please trust me and don't ask questions I can't answer, all right?"

"All right. Sorry dude. I've just had a bad day. I'll leave you and your little secret alone."

"And I'll try spending more time with you."

"Good."

They started walking again, but not for long. They had to stop again when they noticed three guys walking towards them, with their intents written plainly across their faces. Spike didn't have to look to the sides to know that there were other guys cutting off any possible escape path.

"Huh, Spike? I think we have a problem." Gunn said between clenched teeth.

"Oh you think?" Spike bit out sarcastically, eyes focused on the potential threat. "Thanks for pointing that out, mate, but I've noticed."

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