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A/N: The text is bold is a dream, also, my chapters are too long, so I'll cut them in half. They'll probably all have part 1 and 2


CHAPTER 1: Sweet Dreams, part 1



"Hey B, how's it going?"


Buffy turned around and instinctively dropped into a fighting stance.


"Faith... " The dark hair girl stood nonchalantly in front of her, the patented irritating Faith smirk on her face. She was repeatedly slamming her fist in her palm, tensed and ready to fight.


"Geez I love that feeling..." The brunette said, her dark eyes locked with Buffy’s hazel ones.


"What feeling?" Buffy asked, knowing the answer she would get.


"The happy feeling I get every time I'm about to kick your skinny ass."


The brunette slayer pulled out a knife that Buffy recognized instantly.


"And I do believe, if we want to be fair B, that it's my turn to stick this beauty in your guts. Isn’t it the way it goes?… Your turn my turn, right? And I assure you I'll have a gay ol time doing it."


To make sure Buffy got her point; she kicked her across the face.


"And then..."


Other kick in the stomach.


"I'll celebrate with your vamptoy. You know I always have a soft spot for your boyfriends..."


All of a sudden, the street started moving and cracking underneath their feet. The buildings around them were in flames and the sky turned blood red.


Buffy started fighting for her life against her sister slayer, giving blow for blow, kick for kick. Faith laughed.


"I'll bring that town down... and why stop there? I'll bring the world down with it."


"And then what? You'll be Queen of Hell? How fitting!" Buffy snickered


Another burst of annoying laughter from the rogue slayer.


"Sounds good to me. And I think I'll make a hell of a Queen. You could be my slave. I'll throw a party, and you can entertain my guests. How ‘bout that girlfriend? Sounds like a freakin’ good idea to me.”


"Yeah, you can keep dr..."


As she started speaking, Faith took the opportunity to throw Buffy on the ground, immobilizing her, the knife on her throat.


"Sorry, you were saying B?” She lowered her head so her lips were almost touching Buffy’s ear “Take one last look at this world, cause it's time for you to go princess.” She pronounced every word carefully, the way she would if explaining something complicated to a child.


Buffy looked up, and saw Spike sitting on the sidewalk looking at them. "Spike! Help me... You have to stop her."


At first, she thought he didn't hear her because he didn’t move. Then, he crushed his cigarette, and looked away. "Sorry luv. No can do.”


“Wh.. What?… Spike?”


“I didn't think that would happen, but it did. I’ve had enough. You’ve hurt me too much Summers." Buildings were now falling down everywhere. Screaming could be heard but the streets were empty. Buffy could feel the heat of the blazing fires.


"And that's what you are Buffy: hurt. Everything about you hurts. Loving you is a painful thing. You told me once that I’m in love with pain. You were wrong. I was in love with you. But you pushed me to my limit. Now I won't help you because I can’t be near you. I need to get away from you. Take care of the psycho bird yourself luv. You don’t need me. You made it quite clear.”


He got up and started walking away.


"Spike!! Please, no..."


"Someone just got dumped." Faith said in Buffy's ear with a sing song voice. "I think he's on my side now B. Too bad, he was trying so hard at being good.... But little Miss Muffet has been a naughty girl, and now he's not coming back. Too bad for you, he was kinda cute."


"Spike... come back" Buffy said one last time before feeling the blade cutting into her skin.


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Buffy bolted upright in her bed, sweating, her hands going instinctively around her throat. A dream. Just a dream. She let herself back down on the bed with a “humph” and took a few deep breaths to try calming down and will her body to stop shaking.


Fear was now gripping her throat while she was replaying the dream in her head, trying to figure out what it meant. I had been a Slayer’s dream; there were no doubts. Easy enough to figure out: cryptic messages, apocalyptic setting…


“Fuck!” Buffy mumbled to herself before furiously pushing her thick duvet away and jumping out of bed. “Just what I needed.”


She got dressed in a record time and ran down the stairs. Walking past Dawn, she didn’t even glance in her direction.


"Good morning to you too Buffy." Her little sister said sarcastically. "Where are you going like that?"


"I'll be back." And she walked out the door without any more explanations.


The girl didn’t pay much attention to Buffy’s weird attitude. One of the perks of having The Slayer as your only family, you get used to the weirdness after a while.


Like every morning, Buffy took a second to look at the mail. Hoping. A letter, maybe. Just a note. Something to let her know he didn't stake himself, or stop loving her. No. Even if he hated her, just a few words so she would know he was still undead somewhere in this world, would be enough. But like every morning, there was nothing in the mailbox.


It had taken her a long time to get to the point where she was in her heart. A lot of struggles and long sleepless nights, torn between love and hate, forgiveness and accusations, missing him and… hating herself for missing him. A lot of things had been broken, a lot of tears had been shed, but she managed to work things out in her head and in her heart in the end. She accepted things that happened between her and Spike, good and bad, and put them where they belonged: in the past. She accepted her feelings for the vampire and was willing to finally face them. Only one problem though… he wasn’t there. Had been missing since that God awful night a few months ago, and was a no show ever since. No one had heard of him. He just disappeared without a trace. And what worried Buffy the most was that Spike was stubborn enough that if he ever decided never to come back… he could possibly do it.


*Nononono. Don’t think about that you idiot! Dream now, bad Spike thoughts later.*


She took off running to get to the Magic Box as soon as possible.


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Buffy burst into the newly renovated magic shop out of breath. And for The Slayer to be out of breath, it takes quite a lot of running... She had run from all the way across town without stopping, at full Slayer speed, eager to find out about the dream and discuss it with Giles.


"Buffy?.. Apocalypse again? I knew it. I had that feeling this morning when I woke up...." Anya started without looking up from the cash register.


"Where is Giles?" Buffy asked right away, not in the mood for being patient with the vengeance demon.


"I'm here" Giles said, coming out of the basement, a box in his hands. "What's going on?"


"End of the world." Anya said casually, still looking at the money, placing each bill carefully in its own little compartment.


Giles almost tripped over the carpet, but caught himself just in time.


"I never said that Anya" Buffy said rolling her eyes.


"Ok, so it's not the Apocalypse then. My bad."


"I didn't say that either..."


"So it is the..."


"Argh!!! Giles! Training room. Now!"


Frustrated, Buffy stomped her way to the new training room, Giles following in her tracks. The watcher was already taking his glasses off in expectation of what was to come.


"Is everything alright Buffy?" He asked his slayer with concern.


"Yes... No.. Well, I'm not exactly sure. I had a dream."


"Slayer dream?"


"Yes, and in more than one way."


Giles stopped cleaning his glasses and looked up at her curiously. "What do you mean exactly by that?"


"For one thing, it felt like a slayer dream, AND Faith was in it."


"Faith?"


Buffy told Giles about her dream. She was a little reluctant to tell him about Spike, but she did anyway, feeling it could be important.


"Buffy, this is none of my business and you know that I would never be prying into your private life if I didn’t have to, but I'm a little concerned. Didn't you tell me that what happened between you and Spike was purely..."


"Sexual? Yeah, I might have said that." Buffy answered, blushing at how blunt she had been.


"And it isn't true?"


"No. I mean, yes!.." she sighed "It's more complicated then that Giles."


“All right. Why don’t you try explaining it to me then?”


Buffy looked nervously down at her fingers, uncomfortable under her watcher's scrutiny.


"Ok. I, I might have feelings for him. And that includes incredible guilt for how bad I've messed up with his head and his feelings last year. “


"Buffy. You don't have to feel guilty about..."


"Giles! Please, let me finish. You're wrong. I’ve had a lot of time to think about this, about everything. And I think I’ve figured a few things out. About life, love, my job as the Slayer… the world in general. I had a way of seeing things before, and Spike helped me realize that I was wrong. Everything is not always black and white. I see it now. I use to think there is the soulful, and the soulless. The people, and the monsters. But soulful people can be monsters. And a soulless demon can want to change and do something good. And if a monster tries hard at going against his true nature, and instead of helping him , encouraging him, you deny his every effort and push him in the wrong direction... I think that makes you the monster. I hurt Spike, lying to him about my feelings, making him believe I was only using him when in fact, I was only ashamed of loving him. And I shouldn’t have been. I should have been proud. But most of all, I never acknowledged the fact that he was trying hard. Never gave him a word of encouragement. I'm sorry Giles, but I think I'm right to feel bad about myself."


Giles looked stunned. He was silent for a minute, trying to take everything in. Buffy got worried, but he smiled at her and in a very none British manner, he reached out and stroke her cheek affectionately.


"I am so proud of you Buffy. You've grown to be quite an amazing person."


"So you don't think I'm crazy?"


"Not at all. I’m mostly impressed with you actually. The way you understand the world around you, your instincts, your sense of moral and logic, go way beyond those of The Slayers that preceded you in history. The more you grow up, the more it is obvious to me that you are still here for a reason: because you can. So don’t ever beat yourself up over uncertainties. When you feel unsure, chances are you’re probably on the right track."


He stood up to leave the training room.


"Giles?.. About Faith?"


"Uh, right. Faith. I'll call the prison to make sure she's still there. I will let you know what I find out tonight, and we will work from there." He reached for the doorknob, but paused for a moment. “Buffy, I doubt Faith is on the run or the council would have contacted us. But there is still a chance of that happening. She’s proved to be quite resourceful in the past when it comes to making your life miserable. Just… be prepared for the worst.”


“I will Giles. I will.”


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A/N: So?.. How was it? Let me know!

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CHAPTER 1: Sweet Dreams, part 2


After the last Scooby left the store, Giles went behind the counter and poured himself a scotch. He took in his surroundings. The place still wasn’t opened for business, but it was a long way from what it was when they started the renovations… Or was it reconstruction? When Willow had been done with the place, on the night he liked to refer to as possibly the worst night of their lives, it was nothing but rubbles. Now, the back part had been restored to almost its original state, and the front wall and front window were also back in place. Only some carpentry needed to be done, but Xander was on it. About a week, and the Magic Box would be back in business.


But things would never be the same for the ones Giles secretly called his children. The scoobies. They’ve had to readjust to practically everything. Everything they knew to be true, had to be rewritten. Tara was dead. Anya was a demon again. Willow had proved that when push comes to shove, she’d had it in her to kill humans. Now she had to spend half her days meditating, and trying to rebuild her relationships with her friends and himself. Buffy was… Well, she was unhappy to say the least. And Spike was far away and probably not coming back. *Idiot vampire* Giles thought to himself while pouring himself another glass of scotch. Only Xander and Dawn seemed to be doing all right.


He shook his head, contemplating the mess that was their lives, as he sat himself down at the round table they used for Scooby meetings. Once again, he found himself in the middle of things. A situation he had been in so many times over the years. They were all looking up to him for answers he wasn’t sure he could find. Waiting for him to fix everything up. And God knew he wanted to. But he also knew that it didn’t depend on him only. Too many players involved this time around. Too many tempers and feelings to deal with.


He had known for a long time his Slayer was in love with the blond vampire. Actually, it hit him in the face the night he came back and she had admitted sleeping with Spike while he was away in England. She had said it like it was nothing, but he knew deep down what the truth was. Nevertheless, he had hoped that with Spike gone, she’d move on and forget about him. But tonight, Giles had the confirmation that it wouldn’t happen, and he honestly didn’t know what to do to help her. So he did the only thing he could.


Giles took the cordless phone and dialed the long number to England. A familiar voice answered.


"Hello Spike, it's Giles... How are you holding on?"


"I'll live. Not literally, of course, but that's just a technicality." The vampire answered, his tone dull and lifeless.


"Is my flat still standing?"


"Don't worry 'bout your flat, mate, I'm taking great care of it.” he said before asking innocently: “When you said I could use whatever I need, that included that expensive bottle of scotch hidden underneath your bed, right?"


"Spike... I don't want to know."


"Hey, how's a bloke s'pose to deal with the whole soul thing? Do you have any idea what I'm going through right now? Is it not worth a bloody bottle of scotch? Do you..."


"Spike. Please. You can do whatever you want in order to deal with this, um, situation. Drink whatever horribly expensive scotch I own, I don’t bloody care. Are you getting any better?"


"Yeah. I'm dealing. Just trying to avoid turning into a self pity poof master like Angel, is all."


“Good. That’s… good.” Giles cleared his throat, suddenly uncomfortable. "Spike, when.. when do you think... you will be able to come back to Sunnydale?"


"..."


"Spike? Are you still there?"


"I am."


"Is there any way for you to tell me when?"


"No. I can't bloody well tell you because I don't know. Hell I don't even know if I'm ever going back at all."


Silence.


"She needs you."


More silence.


"She doesn't need me. She'll never need me. She made this quite clear."


"Spike..."


"NO. Look Watcher, I'm very grateful that you're helping me in such a hard time, but if you're planning on bugging me to go back to Sunnyhell, I'd rather try to make it on my own. I'm not going back to this bloody hellhole, and I don't want to hear about it."


"This is understandable. She told me everything that happened and she feels quite horrible about..."


"DON'T. WANT. TO HEAR. IT."


"Alright. I'm never going to mention it again. All I wanted was for you to know that something terrible is going to happen, and for some reason, you seem to be the only one who could help. Now that you know about it, you can make a decision and do what you feel is right."


"Fine."


"You know that if you need anything..."


"I know Giles. Thank you." and after an hesitation:


"Giles?"


"Yes?"


"Don't..."


"I won't tell her."


"Thanks mate."


They both hung up, and Giles banged his head on the table in a very none-British way. “Dear Lord, save me from stubborn vampires, confused Slayers, out of control witches, money obsessed vengeance demons… shall I go on?”


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"I'm not sure this was such a good idea Dawny. There's something bad coming up, I can feel it, and I'm not sure you're quite ready for the big fight yet."


Dawn sighed heavily and rolled her eyes at her sister. "Yeah. Because you patrolling alone while you're all distracted because of God-knows-what is soooo much smarter?"


"I'll have you know that I'm the Slayer. Even distracted, I can still hold my own. You are a Scooby-in-training. You may have natural talent with a sword, but that doesn't make you a warrior. And I'm so not distracted!.. I'm focus girl!"


Dawn snorted and started walking again. She wasn’t sure what was wrong with her sister, but something definitely WAS way wrong. Though she did have her little theory about that. Buffy might still see her as her baby sister, but she wasn’t stupid or blind. Buffy had been getting weirder and weirder, and spacing out an awful lot, right after that night when she found out Spike was gone. Ok, it could also have been because of the show down with Willow… But now, things had mostly gotten back to normal with Willow and it didn’t make Buffy go back to normal. She was still missing the main point of most conversations, staring at walls, putting salt in her coffee… Heck, Dawn had even been able to get in a good punch to her sister’s nose during training yesterday! That said it all according to the teenage girl. *I’m good* She thought smugly, *but not good enough to accomplish that when Buff is in her normal state of mind*


They were done patrolling, and the two girls were now making their way to the crypt in a silent agreement.


"Wanna say hello to Clem?"


"Sure"


But even though Clem was a nice guy and they liked him very much, the visit had nothing to do with the fact that the girls missed him or not. Just being in Spike's crypt made them feel like he was out to get cigarettes and spicy wings, and he would be walking through the door any minutes. Dawn missed Spike just as much as her big sis and secretly blamed her for the loss of her best friend. But she had stopped being bitchy about it awhile ago, seeing how upset Buffy seemed to be about the vampire's departure.


On their way to the crypt, they walked by the old high school. Lights were still on at the construction site, giving the old half destroyed building an eerie glow.


Buffy shivered. "How creepy is that. I cannot believe they're going to make you go to that school. Do you have any idea how many people died in there?"


"Thanks for freaking me out even more than I already was."


Buffy smiled. "You're welcomed!"


Both girls stopped for a second to look at the building. Both having the same sinking feeling at the pit of their stomach. It was nine-thirty at night and the sun had set a long time ago. So why was the construction team still there working on the building? When Xander was working on a project, he was always back home right after sunset.


“Construction sites are already dangerous enough,” he once told them, “no need to make it worst by working in the dark unless it’s a special project and we have to hurry. Then we add some spotlights to see what we’re doing. But that basically never happens”.


But why would they be in such a hurry to finish Sunnydale High of all places? It was already too late to get it ready in time for school to start. Therefore, they still had quite a few months in front of them to finish it in time for next year. So why would they work after dark? *Unless of course there’s something Hellmouthy going on over there…


* Buffy frowned at her own not-so-pleasant thoughts.


"Why do you think the city would decide to reconstruct Sunnydale High anyway?" Dawn asked, more than a little worried herself at the idea that she would be forced to attend the same school her sister had to go to. The youngest Summers had heard so many horror stories about this place. Seemed like all her sister had been doing during the three years she had gone to that school was to try to stay alive, and try to keep everyone else alive as well.


"That I don't know Dawny. I really don't know."


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CHAPTER 2: Forgive and Forget, part 1



Dawn burst into the Summer's house calling her sister at the top of her lungs.


"Buffy?.. Buffy!!"


She dropped her heavy backpack and ran up the stairs.


"Buffy, are you there? You won't believe what just happened. These weird guys..." The brunette teenager threw her sister's bedroom door open, but she wasn't there.


"Crap. I forgot she's working today."


After missing a few days of work during the Willow's psycho killer phase, Buffy had gotten fired from the Double meat palace. But she soon found a more fitting job as a kickboxing instructor at the local gym. She was now working four days a week, and Wednesday was one of those days.


Dawn was about to close the door behind her when a red box on Buffy's bed caught her attention.


"Whooo Dawny... Jackpot!" she stopped and thought about it for a second. "Bad girl,” she said out loud to no one in particular. “you promised no more snooping around in your sister's stuff." She giggled happily, then shrugs.


"What the hell, she just had to put it away. It's like an open invitation or something."


The girl bounced excitedly on the bed before grabbing the small box full of papers. She picked one of the letters out of the box. *Ummm, this is gonna be even better than her diary* Then clearing her throat, she started reading out loud.


Dear Spike I feel a little stupid for writing you this letter knowing that you'll never read it. But there's some stuff I needed to tell you and I was hoping this would make me feel better. I never thought I'd ever say something like that to you, never in a million years, but... I miss you. More than it's possible to miss someone. I miss you since the very second Clem said: Spike is gone.


Dawn stared at the letter in her hands with wide eyes. She frantically went through the box, taking a quick look at every letters. All more or less the same. About fifty letters. Love letters to be more specific. Lots of "I miss you", "I love you", and "I'm sorry". She dropped the box on the bed and started laughing uncontrollably, holding her painful ribs.


"Oh. My. God! Buffy! THAT's what's wrong with her?!? My sister is sooo lame, couldn't she realize that BEFORE he left?"


Dawn gathered all the letters and put them back in the box. *Buffy can't do anything right. She's lucky to have me.* She thought smugly.


She ran back down the stairs, grabbing her backpack on her way out. Once outside, she stopped for a second to look at her watch. 3pm. Buffy would be at the Magic box at 6. That left her with three hours to find the address, write a letter, send the package and run to the Magic box. Piece of cake.


*Yeah, especially since no one knows where the hell he is* she thought sarcastically.


She started walking towards the cemetery. *Ok. Spike has like one friend. Clem. He HAS to know something.*


Clem had claimed to be completely clueless about Spike's whereabouts, but they hadn't insisted all that much. Maybe if she’d annoy him long enough, he'd remember a detail, something Spike could have said before leaving...


Lost in her thoughts, Dawn realized that she had made it all the way to the crypt without even thinking about it. She pushed the crypt's door open.


"Clem?" Dawn walked into the crypt, not waiting for an invitation. "Clem are you in there? I need to talk to you."


Clem climbed out of the rabbit hole, yawning.


"Hi sweetie, how's it going?"


"Oh Clem, were you sleeping? I'm so sorry!"


"Nah, that's fine. I've been up late watching the Back to the future marathon on TV. I should get up anyway. What brings you here?"


Dawn slumped down on the couch, the little box still held tight between her hands. She looked at the floppy ears demon straight in the eyes.


"I need to know Clem. You have to tell me, it's important. Where is he? I know he told you. I'm sure he contacts you sometimes." Clem kept shaking his head while listening to her pleas. "Come on! I'm sure he gave you a way to contact him..."


"No no no. I'm sorry Dawn, but he really didn't." He sat next to disappointed teenager, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You know I can’t lie no matter what. If I knew where Spike is, chances are you and your sister would know by now. And that's probably the exact reason why Spike didn't tell me in the first place."


Dawn thought about it for a second, then nodded sadly. "Yeah, guess you're right." It was true that the lovable demon couldn't lie to save his life after all she thought.


"Why now Dawn? Why is it so important to be able to contact him now? If he's not here, it's because he doesn't want to come back. Don't you think."


"Yes, but I found a foolproof way to make him want to come back. The only thing is I have to contact him for that to work and you were kinda my only hope."


"Why don't you try the Watchers Council? They keep track of every famous demons and vampires. Spike is kinda famous, isn't he? He's a master vampire, killed slayers and stuff. They probably follow him very closely..."


Dawn threw her arms around Clem's neck, startling him, and kissed him on the cheek. "Clem, you're a genius"


Before he could formulate some kind of answer, she was out the door and on her way to the magic box.


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"NO! Nonononono. That is quite enough already Dawn. You have been relentlessly annoying me for an hour now. I am not going to give you the Watchers Council's phone number. It is absolutely out of the question."


"You know I'll probably find it on my own anyway." Dawn said defiantly. "Might as well give it to me."


"Well now that I know you are looking for it young lady, believe me I'll make sure it isn't around to be found."


Dawn changed the tone of her voice from defiant to pleading. "Giles, why don't you want me to call them? You don't want me to find Spike, do you."


"It is not because I don't want you to find Spike, I don't want him to be found by them."


"What do you mean?"


"Just believe me when I say it wouldn't be good for his well being if the Watchers found him now. They would most likely try to capture him and run some tests and other not so pleasant things."


Dawn crossed her arms on her chest, and gave the watcher a severe look. "Giles, are you telling me you know where Spike is? Cause that'd be pretty bad... that'd be like lying or something."


Giles sighed desperately, and removed his glasses to clean them once more. "Dawn, I trust that you can keep this for yourself..."


The girl nodded enthusiastically.


"I do know where Spike is, but HE doesn't want anybody to know... actually... he doesn't want Buffy to know."


Dawn just stared at Giles in disbelief, mouth gaping. "But... why?"


"I don't know Dawny, it seems to be a rather touchy subject. Every time I mention Buffy, he gets very aggressive, or sad, depending on his mood. And he has had quite a lot of mood swings lately so..."


"So, ok. He's upset with Buffy. I already kinda knew that. But he's not mad at me.” Dawn tried to reason with the watcher. “He left because of Buffy, not because of me. Maybe he'd be happy to receive a letter from me or something. Don't you think that would make him feel better to know that some people actually miss him? Everybody likes to know stuff like that... Please Giles?.. Pretty please?"


"Well...I, I don't see any harm in sending him something. After all, if he doesn't wish to read it, he doesn't have to. Give me whatever it is you want to send, and I'll make sure he gets it."


Dawn hugged Giles, a winning smile on her face. "I'm gonna go write him a letter, and I'll give you the package."


An hour later, she was almost finished writing the letter. She glanced at her watch. 5h30pm. *Damn! Buffy's probably on her way!*


"Giles, I'm done. What's the address?"


She taped the envelope to the box that she pulled out of her backpack.


"What is this?"


"What? This?" She asked with innocent blues eyes. "It's nothing. Just some stuff Spike left behind and he might need. He left in a rush so.. Hey, don't worry. It's nothing he doesn't want to have."


She wrote the address on the box then ran to the mailbox across the street. She was back just on time to see Buffy walking into the Magic Box.


"Hey Dawny! How was school today?"


"Well, how could I put it... schoolish?"


Buffy went to sit down next to her sister. "That bad?"


"Yep. How was work?"


"Umm.. Frustrating? Like asking Superman to teach mere humans how to fly."


"Buffy, ego..." Dawn scolded.


"Oupsi"


Giles was starting to get impatient. "Girls, training? It was scheduled for 5h30. Unless I'm mistaken, it's now almost 6pm. And Anya has to be home by 7pm today, so we don't have all night."


They made their way to the training room.


"So we'll do sword training for half an hour, then Dawn will practice aiming and Buffy, you will work on your reflexes and tumbling."


The two sisters grabbed their swords and Dawn put on some padding. That’s when something came popping into her mind. "Oh shit!"


"Dawn, Language!" Both Giles and Buffy said at the same time.


"Whatever" She turned to Giles. "Sorry, I forgot to tell you... I got attacked by three weird guys on my way home today."


"You what?!" Buffy yelled, mad at her sister for being so careless and not mentionning such an important detail earlier. "And you forgot to tell because?..."


Dawn shrugged. "I don't know. Some other stuff came up and.."


"Other stuff more important than being attacked?"


"As a matter of fact, yes. And I'm still here, am I not? So what's your point?" Dawn blew a strand of her long brown hair from her face while staring defiantly at her big sister.


"Giles! Do something, I'm gonna kill her!" Buffy pleaded with her watcher.


Giles took a deep breath to avoid strangling the two bickering girls himself, then asked calmly: "Dawn, care to tell us what happened?"


Like it was all she was waiting for, Dawn started telling her adventure.


"Ok. So, I'm coming back from school, right? And I decide to take a short cut and go through the park. You know, the one next to Jenny's house?"


Buffy made an impatient gesture for her to continue. Dawn rolled her eyes at her.


"So I'm like walking, minding my own business, when suddenly... wham! I'm surrounded. I'm like: Ok Dawny, calm down, don't show them you're scared. And I know I have pepper spray in my back pocket. It's not impressive, I know, but it could win me some time to escape. So I try to move slowly... but I can't! I can't even move my little finger, or blink or anything. So I think that's it for sure. They're gonna kill me. But they didn't. Obviously since I'm still here! They just gave me a message, then I fell unconscious for a sec. When I woke up, they were gone."


Giles and Buffy just stared at Dawn.


"What?"


"Dawn, the message?"


"Message?"


Giles sighed loudly. "Dawn, what did they tell you?"


"Oh, that! Huh.. to leave town?"


"Excuse me?!" Buffy snickered, very much insulted.


"Yeah. They said that me, my sister and our friends have to leave town, like now, or else... They'd have no mercy on us or something. And also that we couldn't stop what's to come anyway."


"That's it? No details? Nothing that could help us?" Giles asked hopeful.


"Hey! I was paralyzed by some spooky mojo, surrounded by these big guys dressed like some kind of evil lawyers, who threatened my life! You think I was paying attention to every stupid details?!?" Dawn asked, insulted.


"S'ok Dawny. Forget it. It's not like we're gonna listen to them and leave town anyway. So what's the point." Buffy tried to calm down her younger sister, pushing her long brown hair behind her shoulder.


"They did mention something about their Queen and the fall of the Hellmouth. Or was it the opening..?" Dawn added, frowning slightly.


Buffy turned to Giles, concerned etched on her face at her sister’s words. "You think this might have something to do with my dream?"


"To be honest, I don't have the slightest idea Buffy. I checked on Faith last week when you told me about the dream... and she was still safely behind the bars. Unless she's acting from the prison. But somehow, I just can't picture Faith having powerful minions."


"Well try to picture her as a Queen, it's even funnier! Oh, but now that I come to think of it, if Harmony could have minions... everything is possible!!"


"So... you.. had a dream about Faith? The psycho killer mom insisted on being nice to?" Dawn seemed worried by the idea.


"Yep. That's her all right. But don't worry Dawn, it was just a dream. She's in jail and she's staying there. Right Giles?" She looked pointedly at the Watcher.


"Hum.. sure. I don't think they took me seriously when I called, but they said they'll keep an eye on her and I gave them my phone number in case something comes up. They seemed to have problems with her on an everyday basis, so they didn't really pay attention to me I'm afraid."


"Well, as long as she's still behind the bars, with lots of huge armed guys guarding the door, fine by me." She stretched and smiled. "Ok Dawn, training, then junk food and movie theater. I feel a little mopey today, I need the entertainment."


"Which movie did you have in mind?" she asked, stretching as well.


"Don't know. As long as it doesn't involve romance, guys, horror, violence..."


"Great. I guess that means we'll just sit by the candy counter and watch the popcorn machine then."


Giles tried to stiffen his laugh without success.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"Dawn! I'm going on patrol."


Buffy walked out of her room and into her sister's. Dawn was sitting on her bed, looking at her calendar.


"Buffy, how long does it take to send mail to Europe?" she asked her without looking up from the calendar.


Buffy shrugged. "Don't know... a week? Two maybe. Why?"


"It's just that a friend of mine moved to Europe and I sent a letter two weeks ago. I just thought I'd get an answer by now. Forget it." She put the calendar down on the bed and looked at her sister with a smile.


"So, you were saying?"


"I'm going on patrol, wanna come with?"


"Nah. My friend Kelly is coming over tonight. We're gonna have a girls night in. I'll go with you tomorrow if you want, k?"


"Sure Dawny, no problem. I won't be long anyway... not in the mood tonight."


"Be careful"


"I will. Have fun" Buffy turned to leave. "Oh, and no male strippers missy!" She added playfully.


Dawn laughed at this. "Got it. No male strippers. Only nail polish, lame movies and ice cream."


Buffy made her way downstairs, grabbed her jacket by the front door and walked out into the chilly night. She stopped for a second, and inhaled the cool air, trying not to think too much. It didn't work.


Exactly a year from now tonight, she had been dancing and singing under the influence of some demon guy, and she was about to kiss Spike for the first time. Well, technically, not the first time. But this wasn't the influence of a spell, or a thank you kiss... This was her, giving in to him. But she was not prepared for the fire this kiss would leave burning inside her. And she definitely didn't expect it to lead her here... lonely and lovesick. Last time she felt like this was because of Angel.


She stopped walking for a second.


*Funny. That name doesn't do anything to me anymore. Angel Angel Angel. Nope. Nothing at all.*


She smiled to herself. *Well at least that's one good thing. Wait. Is replacing a vampire with another vampire a good thing? *


She twirled her stake in her hand. *I'm a hell of a fucked up girl! How did I manage to survive this long?!*


As that thought crossed her mind, an incredible pain shot through her skull and she blacked out.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CHAPTER 2: Forgive and Forget, part 2


Dawn ran as fast as she could, her heart pounding in her chest. She could see the form of her sister laying on the ground, this incredibly huge thing bending over her. She seemed so far. Dawn had never run that fast in her life, jumping over the smaller head stones, side stepping the bigger ones, the sword shinning in her hand... She got there so fast that the demon never had time to turn and face her. In one swift motion, she beheaded it, not even giving it a second thought.


"Buffy? Buffy!.. Can you hear me? Come on, wake up.”


The blond girl groaned painfully. "Did you take the license plate number?"


Dawn took her jacket off and rolled it into a ball. "Not funny. Here, press that to your head to stop the bleeding. We have to get you to the hospital."


"I.. I'm fine. A good night of sleep and some weetabix..."


"I don't think so! Look at that tombstone, it's in pieces! Your SKULL broke it for crying out loud!!! We're going to the hospital to get your head checked. You were already not all there, I don't want you to start speaking German or something."


The girls started walking in direction of the hospital.


"So, what happened?" Dawn asked, expecting to hear about the ten demons, the long battle…


"I was a little distracted. My thoughts were wandering, and wham! Everything went black."


"Buffy Summers! You almost got yourself killed because you were, what?… Thinking about boys or something?! That's it! You are so not patrolling alone anymore!"


She gave a furious look to her sister who looked somehow ashamed of herself.


"At least not until whatever it is that's bothering you comes back and you stop moping."


"What? But.."


"And count yourself lucky that Kelly canceled our movie evening because you'd be playing all you can eat buffet for some ugly demon thingy right now."


"But.. Dawn.."


"No buts. Hospital. Now. Concussion equals no good. Sunnydale's demon population will think the Slayer is drunk or something when they see you walking around town all wobbly, and I kinda left my sword in the cemetery."


"Dawn! Do you.." Buffy started, but stopped right away. "Ouch.. my head."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"What the bloody hell is this?"


Spike looked at the envelope taped to the box:


William The Bloody 781 Sussex drive North London, W13 9QT


On the corner of the envelope, it said D.Summers with the Revello drive address. If his heart could beat, it would have skipped a beat. The stamp said it was posted two weeks ago. He tore the envelope from the box and opened it.



Hey Spike!


I hope you're all right, we haven't heard from you in a very long time. Please don't get mad at Giles for giving me your address, I annoyed him for an hour and a half before he gave it to me. Anyway, it worked. Must be my charm... or my whining, I'm not sure.


I just wanted to tell you how much I miss you. Things are not the same without you around. C'mon, who's left to make fun of Xander? And to keep me from getting in trouble in cemeteries in the middle of the night? I know you had your reasons to leave (most of which have to do with my annoying sister) but you never even said goodbye to me and it hurt me a little.


Ok, the fact that I miss you is not the only reason why I'm writing to you. The thing is, I'm not the only one who misses you, and I thought you'd like to know that. Are you sitting down? Buffy is like completely desperate by your departure. It's true! I swear! She's been a wreck for the past three months, and I had no idea why, until I found letters that were addressed to you (yeah, I know. You told me the only person allowed to snoop in Buffy's stuff is you. But I couldn't help it!). Of course she didn't send them cause she's not as clever as I am when it comes to finding the address of MIA people. So, yeah, there's like fifty something letters in that box, and since they're for you, I thought it was the right thing to do to send them to you. I know you're probably pissed at her (she told me a lot of what happened last winter.. I called her an evil witch and we got into a fight, but we're ok now) but I'm sure you still love her, and when you read the letters, you'll want to come back and we can all be happy together. We could be like a family or something, and Xander would FREAK OUT! That'd be so much fun.


Anyway, I've gotta go now cause Giles is waiting for me. Giles and Buffy have started training me. They're teaching me how to fight. It's pretty cool. I'm really good with a sword. I even go on patrol with Buffy sometimes. OK, now Giles is clearing his throat and cleaning his glasses... I guess that means I really have to go.


Take care of yourself and come back soon,
Nibblet xxx



"Little devil."


He sank deeper into the couch, staring at the little box on the coffee table. He stared at it for a few hours before making his decision.


He wouldn't read the content of the box. He wouldn't even open it.


*Whatever’s in that bloody box, she will say to my face or not at all.*


Yes, he'd go back to Sunnyhell. But he would not go back to how things were between them. *I won't be her lovesick puppy dog that she can bitch slap around anymore. She'll have to prove herself first...*


He grabbed a piece of paper and started writing a letter for Dawn. He couldn't wait to see Buffy again, but he still wasn’t sure if he would be able to do it. Not even sure if he would be able to make his presence known to them. And if it was the case, if it hurt too much and he didn’t stay... Spike just didn't want Dawn to hope too much for his return. So he wrote.


He decided he would send the letter tonight, and leave tomorrow night. The safest, most comfortable way for a vampire to travel over sea being by boat since the stupid sod sitting next to you in the plane risk opening the window shade at any moment, it would probably take him at least a week. But this way, he’d have some time to think about what he would do. He'd be home before the letter though. Sunnydale.. Buffy.. Home. He smiled at the thought.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"Dawn!.. Can you go check the mail while I finish the dishes please?"


The voice of her sister came from the living room where she was watching cartoons before going to school.


"Yep, I'm on it!"


A few minutes later, Buffy came out of the kitchen, drying her hands on the dishcloth.


"So, anything interesting?"


She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw her sister. "Dawny? What's wrong?"


The girl was standing in the living room, tears streaming down her face, a letter held tight in her fist, her other hand holding a box against her chest.


"He's not coming back! It's your fault, I HATE YOU!!"


Before Buffy could react, Dawn ran upstairs and slammed her bedroom door shut. Buffy followed her closely, her heart beating wildly in her chest. She opened Dawn's bedroom door.


"What the hell is wrong with you..."


She received a box in the stomach, followed by a piece of paper crumpled into a ball.


"Get out! It's all your fault! He's never coming back because of you!! Get out of my room! I hate you!!!" Dawn screamed in a high pitch voice.


Buffy bent down to pick the paper off the floor. She straightened it, and started reading, the words dancing in front of her eyes.



Hello Nibblet,


You have no idea what it meant to me to receive your letter. I really didn't think anybody would miss me in Sunnydale. Actually, I rather thought you guys would throw a bloody party to celebrate my departure. I was just a pain in everybody's life, especially your sisters. I didn't open the package you sent me. Didn't want to. Whatever's in there, I’m sure it's stuff I wanted to hear face to face for a long time. So I'm not going to read it.


You know little bit, I really appreciate that you're trying to get me to come back to Sunnyhell and all, and I hate to disappoint you, but I don't think I'll come back. Not now at least. I still need some time to work things out. You see, even though you said your sister told you what happened, I doubt she gave you all the details. What we did to each other luv... Never mind. Just believe me when I say we hurt each other a lot and I'm not ready to come back. I need some time on my own, then we'll see. I'll come back when I'm ready to forgive and forget. And I don't mean her, I mean myself.


Well, take care of yourself Dawny. I'm sorry. I know I'm making you sad right now and I hate myself for this. But I don't have a choice here. I just hope you won't get mad at me. I just want you to know that I miss you a whole lot and I wish I could be there for you. And I’m also sorry for leaving without saying goodbye, but it was too hard.


By the way, I think you patrolling is a bloody awful idea. I'm against it completely! What need do you have to go get yourself killed in a cemetery? At your age, you should spend your time shopping, watching movies and chatting with your chums on the phone. Your sister had it hard enough at your age, and she didn't even have a choice. You do. So stay out of trouble cause I'm not there to save you if something happens. If you absolutely must get yourself into trouble, at least, wait until I come back! Sorry pet, you know how overprotective I can get sometimes... Ok Nibblet, I've gotta go now. But just promise me one thing, take care of your sister for me, ok?


Spike



Everything got blurry. Buffy couldn't read the words anymore. She let herself down slowly against the wall until she was sitting on the floor. Only her quiet sobs were breaking the silence in the room. Dawn approached her, and knelt beside her.


"I'm sorry I yield at you Buffy. I.. I didn’t mean what I said. I don't hate you. It's just that..."


Buffy grabbed her sister into a tight hug and hid her face in her shoulder. They stayed like that for a long time, crying and comforting each other. They would have to make up an excuse for Dawn missing school once more...


The two sisters spent the afternoon together, indulging in comfort food... cheeseburgers and lots of ice cream. It didn't make the sorrow disappear, but it kept their minds busy for a moment or two.


After a long session of mind numbing shopping, Buffy and Dawn came back home. As she opened the door, Buffy heard the phone ringing. She hurried inside to answer it.


"Summers mental institution, Buffy speaking how may I help you?" Buffy said in her best customer service representative voice.


Dawn giggled as she threw her purse and jacket on the coffee table and slumped down on the couch. Buffy made a face and the girl laughed even more.


"... Buffy?"


"Duh, who else could it be? What's up Giles?"


"Nothing good actually. Faith is out."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"So they just what?… Let her out!?" Buffy barked angrily at Giles.


She looked absolutely furious as she paced around the table in the magic shop. Anya stopped counting her money to stare at her, Willow and Xander were sitting next to each other like they had been for the past three months, and they stared as well. No one understood Buffy's outburst. They'd understand if she was upset, but she was down right pissed off.


"If she had decided to just fucking go shopping, what would they say? "Sure hon! Just make sure to come back for dinner.”?! Cause if that's the way United States prisons work, I'm moving to Canada!"


Giles tried to approach her without getting his head bit off. "Buffy calm down."


"Calm down!? Why would I? Give me one reason why I shouldn't be freaking out right now! My god damn dream is coming true and..."


Giles grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to the training room, under the puzzled look of the Scoobies. He closed the door behind them.


"Buffy, what happened? This is not like you to lose control like this. Did something else happened?"


Buffy let herself down on the bench, her hands between her knees, her head hung low.


"Dawn received a letter from Spike today. He's not coming back.. ever." she said in a small voice. "Well at least, that's what it sounded like. So on top of being depressed because I managed to lose another man in my life, it also makes another part of my dream come true, and now you're telling me Faith is out, and probably on her way here. Put two and two together Giles. Next thing you know, I'll have a knife cutting through my throat and Sunnydale will go to Hell. Literally."


"Buffy, please. Don't get too dramatic. It is not the first time we make a prophecy or a slayer dream lie. We'll find a way around it one way or another, I'm sure."


"I'm sorry Giles. I didn't mean to sound like I'm giving up. It's just... I don't know. I guess I'm just feeling down today. Really down. I'll go home and hide in my bed until my courage comes back in town if you don't mind. I'll be better tomorrow and we can make plans."


Before Giles could answer, she was out of the training room, and on her way home.


Giles sighed deeply and shook his head, worried for his Slayer.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


That night, Giles tried to call Spike a few times. Actually, he called him three times during the past week, but the blond pain in the arse did not return his call. It was now 2am, and Giles was enjoying his late night scotch before going to bed. As he was pouring himself another one, there was a knock at the door.


"Who the bloody hell..." He got up to open the door, mumbling insanities under his breath.


"Who is it?"


"The soddin tooth fairy Watcher. Open up would you."


Giles opened the door and stared at Spike in amazement.


"Well.. Do I have to stand here and wait for the sun to rise and fry me, or can I come in?"


"Of course.. uh.. come in.. Pardon my amazement, but B.. I was told this morning that you'd officially never come back so.."


"A bloke can change his mind now, can't he."


Spike dropped his bag in a corner and sat down on the couch where Giles had been sitting a few minutes ago."


Giles gestures mockingly towards the couch. "Please have a seat and make yourself comfortable." he said wryly. He took a chair for himself and sat in front of Spike.


"What made you change your mind?"


"... Knowing my girls are in danger... And Dawny sent me something that was heavy in the balance."


Giles shook his head incredulously. "The little devil always gets her way, doesn't she."


Spike smiled affectionately at the thought of Dawn. "Yeah, I had a good influence on her. But now she uses my teachings on me. She's turning me into a soddin poof."


Giles looked at the duffel bag sitting in the corner. "So I take it you're planning on staying here?"


"Yeah. If it's okay with you."


"Of course. But may I ask why you’re not staying at your crypt?"


The blond vampire sighed and lowered his head. "I stopped by before coming here, and... she was there talking to Clem so.."


"Spike, why did you come back if you hate her so much?"


Spike's head snapped up, a stunned expression on his face.


"Hate her?! Are you out of your bloody mind Rupert? I don't hate her, I love her more than anything in this pathetic world!"


"Then why? She misses you a great deal and I think.."


"It's complicated." Spike gestured towards the scotch bottle. "Do you mind?"


"Go ahead."


Spike poured himself and Giles a drink, and he settled back down on the couch. He stared at his glass for a moment before continuing.


"How could I put it Watcher..." he stopped and seemed to think for a second. "That's how it is: There's the guilt. Then, there's the hurt. And there is also the fear. And then, somewhere in the middle of all that, there is love too. I think what I mean is I have quite a few things to work out before I can face her again. I did things I can't forgive myself for. At least not now." He chugged down his drink. "She did and said things that hurt me a lot. I said and did things that hurt her a lot. The relationship we had, it was just really screwed up."


Giles listened in silence as Spike talked. The vampire seemed completely lost in his memories, saying things that he obviously already told himself again and again.


"It wasn't all my doing you know. That was not what I wanted for her. I might be a monster, but a monster in love. I just wanted her happy... but she wouldn't let me, so I was playing her game and we both ended up hurt. I don't want this to happen again. But I'm weak, and if her intentions are the same as they were, I'll probably just let her do whatever she wants and it will just start all over again. I think I had my share of pain. The damn soul by itself is plenty enough if you ask me. This bloody soul is not as much fun as I thought it would be..."


"Wait." Giles interrupted him. "Are you telling me you got the soul on a voluntary basis? You mean.. you went and got yourself a soul? I though someone cursed you!"


"Idiotic enough, init?"


"After you stumbled through my door in London, I never had the chance to ask you details about what happened."


"Yeah well, I had a hard enough time remembering my own name that night Rupert, I don't think explaining to you that I got my soul back so I could make Buffy happy was one of my top priorities."


"You did this for Buffy?"


"Yeah. So she wouldn't be ashamed of herself for being with me. It was killing her. You know how she is... she always have to be the superhero. She refuses to have any flaws, any weaknesses, to do something people will disagree with. She couldn't stand the idea of anyone finding out she was with a soulless demon.... made her think less of herself and I couldn't stand that. So I went to see that demon shaman in Africa who is well known to restore souls and such. It sounded simple enough in my head: go there, get the soul, come back to Sunnyhell and see what Buffy has to say about it. Sounded like a pick-nick or an afternoon on the bloody beach. Let me just tell you I was a pretty naive little vampire. But she's worth it."


"I don't know what to say. I'm amazed. Pardon the comparison, but I don't think Angelus would have done such a thing. He killed Jenny to make sure she wouldn't give him his soul back."


"Yeah well, Angelus was a wanker. I think we both know that. And Angelus' demon didn't love Buffy. He hated her more than anything whereas mine is in love with her. That would explain it I guess."


"Still, I can't figure out how a demon can fall in love with a mortal. The slayer of all people. I've never heard of such a thing."


"Always been the weird one. My sire thought I was pathetic cause I was capable of human feelings. Angelus thought it was a weakness. But you shouldn't be surprised that Buffy can make a demon fall for her. She's so amazing. So incredibly amazing... Heaven must miss her a hell of a lot if you ask me."


Giles removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "I think you're making a mistake. I think you should just go to her now and fix things up."


Spike laughed bitterly. "Are you throwing the big bad vampire in the arms of your beloved Slayer, Rupert?"


"Well.. Yeah, I am actually questioning my sanity myself. But you are obviously both miserable, so why don't you.."


"Not just now Watcher. I'm not ready."


"Fine. You know what you have to do. But we still have a problem. The L.A. county jail called this morning to let us know that Faith was out. She's probably on her way to Sunnydale as we speak."


"Faith? That's the crazy chit that switched bodies with Buffy two years ago, right? The mayor's sidekick?"


"Yes. That's her. She is a threat to be taken seriously. The fight between Buffy and her is quite personal. And not only does Faith's strength match Buffy's, but also she has no conscience, and she has nothing to lose. And we already know she's planning something because Buffy had a slayer dream about Faith and the end of Sunnydale."


Spike raised his scared eyebrow at Giles. "Apocalypse?.. Again? These people really have to come up with something new once in a while. Apocalypses are so last year."


"I am getting scared now.. you start sounding like Dawn."


"We spent too much time together last summer. I still catch myself singing Britney Spears songs once in a while" Spike shuddered at the thought.


Giles looked down. "Yes I'm afraid I do too."


Both men laughed goodheartedly.


"So, what should we do?" Giles asked, not sure himself where to start.


"One thing is for sure. No more patrolling alone for Buffy from now on. I don't want to know she's out there alone while this psycho bird is around."


"It's already taken care of. Buffy doesn't patrol alone since she almost got herself killed a few weeks ago because she was distracted. Dawn decided it was the end of the lonely patrol nights for her sister as long as she wouldn't get her focus back and stop thinking about.." He cleared his throat and looked at Spike pointedly above his glasses. "People who left town without a word to get souls and don't want to come back."


Spike glared at Giles, but didn't answer.


"I think for now, all we can do is to keep our eyes open and wait for her to show up, or for any signs that something is going on. Right now, we have nothing. We're not even sure she's coming here. So we'll just get ready and wait."


"Yes. That's what I told everybody. We can't fight if we don't know what we're fighting." Giles stood up and Spike followed.


"The storage room doesn’t have windows. I'll fix you a bunk bed and you can sleep there."


"Thanks mate, I appreciate."


"Spike?.. What do you intend to do exactly?"


"I'll watch her back, and do what I do best" he gave Giles his trademark cocky grin "I'll lurk..."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: I know I rated this story NC-17 and so far, it's kinda fluffy. But it will come later, no worries ;-) Thanks for the reviews

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CHAPTER 3: Evesdropping, part 1


The limousine was speeding on the freeway, driving away from L.A. The brunette girl was staring out the back window at the retreating lights of the city. Soon, she couldn’t see them anymore so she sat back and lit up a cigarette. It earned her an annoyed snort from the woman sitting next to her. Tailored suit, manicured hands, perfect hair. She poured herself another scotch.


*Classy bitch* Faith thought to herself.


She inhaled deeply, and blew some of her cigarette smoke in Lilah's direction. The other lawyer sitting in front of her laughed.


"Shut up Gavin"


"Ow, I'm hurt. You’re so mean to me Lilah."


The woman turned to Faith.


"And you, put that out."


Faith smiled sweetly.


"Sure, as soon as I'm done."


"You know, we just saved you from a long and painful life in jail, maybe a little thank you would be appropriate don't you think?"


"Geez, did I forget to say thank you? My mom would be so horrified by my manners she'd beat me up into unconsciousness. Good thing she's dead.” Faith replied with her sweetest smile.


"You ungrateful little bitch!"


"There there, Lilah, calm down" Gavin said with this very annoying smile on his face.


As the two lawyers went back to bickering like they had been doing for the past two hours, Faith turned around and went back to looking out the window at the dark night. Nowhere else to look since she was stubbornly trying to avoid looking at the man sitting in front of her in the shadow.


Lilah finally shut up, and served herself yet another drink. He said something hurtful to the lawyer, but Faith shut his voice out. It was too unsettling to see him like that. She rarely felt sorry for people other than herself, but today she did. This wasn't meant to be. But compassion was not for survivors, so she shook the thought away.


"Care to fill me in on the big plan guys?" Faith finally asked, trying her best too look casual.


"Not yet."


"So, I'm supposed to play the staring role, but you won't tell me anything? All I know is: 'we're going to Sunnydale, we're going to take over the place, and I'm gonna play a major role in the ordeal.' What about that ritual the Mayor created for me? What is it all about? And how are we supposed to take Buffy and her little clique down?"


Lilah sighed, but Gavin answered.


"All you need to know for now honey, is that we're going to the Hellmouth, and Sunnydale is going down. This is all according to the Mayor’s will. This was his plan B for you in case everything else would have failed. He left our firm in charge. Our instructions were to get you out of trouble if you already were, and I’d say jail does qualify as trouble, and supervise everything. We're going to tell you the details once we get there."


"Fine."


She looked at the sign saying 'Sunnydale 15 miles' and got lost in her thoughts again.


SunnyD always brought one name back in her mind. Buffy. Her sister Slayer. They could have fought side by side. Sisters. Yes, she could have loved her like a sister. But this was no time to get soft. Not now. She could have loved her, maybe. She had it in her to love her. But she chose to hate her instead. The blond Slayer was everything Faith had always wanted to be. She had everything she always wanted and was always denied. And Faith had to hate her for that. She didn't remember exactly at what point she had chosen between love and hate, but she couldn't go back now. She would have to bring her down. Show her what it is to be the one on the ground. Bring her down like she would bring that Hell hole down.


"You want to kill her, don't you." He asked in a soft whisper.


"Understatement. I want to kill her just as much as you do big boy, and I want to make her suffer before."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*There you are cutie* Spike chuckled quietly behind the tree.


*What's up with the girl power tonight luv?*


He watched, amazed, as Buffy, Dawn, Willow and Anya walked out of Buffy's house arm under arm. They all had weapons. Dawn and Anya had swords attached to their back, Willow was holding a crossbow, and Buffy had three stakes in her waistband.


*Quake with fear demon population of Sunnydale, for the girls are having a night out* He thought, amused, then started following them.


The girls ended up in one of Sunnydale's cemeteries and picked a fight with four vamps. Spike stuck to the shadows, merely watching the perimeter. He didn't want to get involved too much; he just wanted to keep the fight fair for the girls in case some brain dead vamp would care to join his lameass friends. But the girls were holding their own just fine.


Buffy was handling two at once and Dawn was taking care of her own vamp, while Anya and Willow were working on another one.


*The little bit was right, she IS pretty damn good...* He thought, amazed.


He was smiling proudly, watching Dawn fight, when a huge lahora demon tried to sneak past him.


"Oh no you don't"


He swiftly grabbed the demon in a chokehold from behind.


"See the ladies over there mate? These are my girls, and they are quite enjoying themselves right now. I'd rather keep it this way if you don't mind. Good luck in Hell." And he snapped the demon's neck.


When the fight was over, they all dusted themselves off and started walking in the direction where Spike was hiding. He went behind another crypt quickly so they wouldn’t see him.


Buffy spotted the dead demon Spike had killed and carefully pushed it with the tip of her boot to make sure it was dead.


"Wow, we rock! Those nasty thingies are majorly strong... which one of you guys killed it?"


They all looked at each other. Dawn protested when her sister looked at her.


"Hey, don't look at me" she put her hands up "I'm good, but not THAT good. I dusted my vamp and that's it."


"Oh well" Buffy shrugged "I guess mister friendly demon here had enemies."


Anya chipped in. "Well, us demons rarely kill each other. We don't like each other, but we don't kill each other either. I think the only demon I've ever met that kills other demons is Spike."


The blood drained out of Buffy's face as she tried to keep her cool. "Yeah well he's not here in case you haven't noticed yet. Can we move on?" She snapped harshly at Anya.


Dawn grabbed her sister's hand and they started walking away.


"Geez. Sorry. Someone is in need of a good…"


Willow put her hand on Anya's mouth, keeping her from finishing her thought.


"Anya, we are having a good time. Please don't make Buffy cranky."


Stunned, Spike looked at their retreating backs. It took him quite a few moments before shaking the stupor away and start after them. He was too far behind to eavesdrop on them, but he could tell that Buffy was back in laughing mood, which was good. They got all the way back to Buffy's house.


An hour later, the girls came out again, all wearing pretty dresses, perfume, makeup and high heels... obviously ready for a night out. So Spike took it as his cue to get lost and report to Giles.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"Wow guys, I don't know how to thank you. I mean, look at that, you even kept it clean! How sweet of you." Faith dragged a finger over the stereo and inspected it mockingly.


Lilah put the bags on the bed.


"Maybe you should consider a career change Lilah. This place is so big; I could use some help. Ever considered a career as a maid?"


"Ever considered shutting you mouth for a second?" Lilah snarled back.


Faith looked at the stereo in front of her and remembered. The last person to stand in front of it was Buffy. That was just moments before they had kicked the hell out of each other and Faith woke up in hospital a year later.


Gavin, the Chinese lawyer who was constantly fighting with Lilah, walked into the loft with the last remaining bags.


"So that's your idea of keeping low profile Lilah dear? Taking quarters in Faith's old apartment? That's just brilliant."


"We have guards at the door."


"Oh yeah, that will do it" sarcastic laughter "That should keep our favorite pesky little slayer at bay."


The other man went to lie down on the bed with his arms crossed behind his head. Faith still couldn't look directly at him.


"Well the slayer won't matter in a few days. Like everybody else in town, she'll either be dead, or working for us." Lilah started busying herself by emptying her bags. "Our men have already recruited half of the able bodies in town. They are all working on the old high school rubbles covering the Hellmouth. It should be ready for the ritual in a few days."


"Then what?" Faith asked Lilah, hitting her punching bag a few times before turning to her.


"Then sweetie, you do your part. You start the ritual the mayor created for you as his plan B, Sunnydale goes down, and we control the Hellmouth and all the evil of this world obeys us. Sounds like fun don't you think?"


"Yeah, party. And then you kill me."


"Unfortunately we can't honey. Because the energy you will channel when opening the gates will make you immortal. You'll become one with the Hellmouth."


Faith laughed. "Oh joy! Faith the immortal. Sounds like some cheap ass TV show. Well if I'm gonna be around for a while, I guess we'd better start trying to get along..."


The two women observed each other in silence for a few moments before both turning away at the same time.


"Nope. Don't think it will happen." The lawyer said with a touch of disdain.


"Me neither. Especially if you don't stop calling me sweetie and honey. I might break your nose at some point."


"Faith?"


She turned to him, avoiding his dark eyes.


"Feel like having a little fun with the Slayer before the big firework? Mess with her head a little?"


Faith wanted to answer, but Lilah was faster


"Sorry to disappoint you dear, but it's gonna be a night in. They must not know we are here yet. You and Gavin have a reservation at the Sunnydale Hilton and Faith and I are staying here."


He looked offended. "What?! But Lilah!.. I was so looking forward to a threesome with two used up hoes... I thought we had something going on here.." He pouted dramatically.


"You. Out."


She pointed at the door.


Faith ignored them.


"Fine. Have it your way. But you don't know what you're missing ladies." The two men walked out.


"We'll see you at the Hotel tomorrow." The door shut before she could finish her sentence.


Faith and Lilah stood in front of each other in uncomfortable silence.


"Uh... I'll... go take a shower." Lilah turned and went to lock herself in the bathroom.


Faith grabbed her jacket and smiled. "What? My first night out in over a year, and you thought, what? We'd have a girls night in? Whatever."


She hopped through the window, and a moment later, she was down on the street.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Spike was sitting at the bar of a filthy place named The Fish Tank. Not his first choice, but seeing as Buffy and her friends were probably at the Bronze, he had nowhere else to go.


The place reeked. It was the meeting point of Sunnydale's trash and lowlifes, but JD tastes the same everywhere. And loneliness feels the same wherever you go.


He could imagine his Buffy laughing, surrounded by her loved ones at the Bronze. He could imagine her perfectly for having seen her many times. He could just see her dancing, like the very first time he had put his eyes on her. And he was happy for a second because he knew she was not feeling the way he was. She was not lonely. And that was good because he wouldn't wish anybody to feel like that, especially not her.


He finished his glass and asked for another one.


"Hey blondie. You offering?"


The brunette sat on a stool next to him, and leaned on the bar to order a drink. "Whiskey. Straight up."


Not even bothering to argue, Spike threw a couple of bills on the bar and went back to his drink.


She turned and looked at him curiously. "Do I know you from somewhere? You seem awfully familiar.."


"No."


"Not very friendly now, are we." She put her hand on his shoulder, and he shrugged it off.


"Listen ducks, you should really try to recognize the signs that tells you when a bloke wants to be left alone."


"Oh, lemme guess, woman problems. I could make you forget if you want..." she gave him a seductive smile and leaned in closer to him.


"Not bloody likely."


"Playing hard to get blondie?"


"That's the thing, I'm not playing. And please don't call me blondie. Reminds me of one of my exs." Spike shuddered at the thought.


"So, that girl's worth the heartache?"


The bartender served him another glass.


"Every minute of pain. She's the most amazing woman ever created, and if I need to talk, I'll pay a shrink."


"We don't need to talk you know. Actually, talking gets me bored really fast. I'm more into action. See, it's my first night out in more than a year. All I want is a drink and a good fuck. She doesn't need to know, and who knows, it might make you feel better..."


Spike turned to face the girl and gave her his trademark smirk. "You’re quite a straight forward little chit..."


She gave him the victory smile. "So I've been told. So... wanna go somewhere?"


He leaned in dangerously close to her face. "See, there is one problem. If there is one thing about me, it's that I'm almost impossible to kill. But luv.. I'm sure you have diseases that could do the trick just fine.."


The girl's face went from sweet and seductive, to pure rage in a heartbeat. She quickly stood up, making the stool she was sitting on fall loudly to the floor.


"You evil son of a bitch!?!" She reached into the inner pocket of her jacket. "I'm so gonna st..."


She got interrupted by a woman who looked as much in her element it the dive as the Queen of England in a farm.


"Fai.. Jean! Quit it! Let's get out of here, you had enough for tonight."


"You’re trippin’! That dickhead needs a lesson. Let go of me bitch!"


"I said enough! Let's go." The woman turned to Spike. "Excuse her, she's a little drunk."


She then quickly turned and dragged the brunette out of the bar.


Spike looked at them leaving, with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. As soon as they were out, he rushed to a public phone and called Giles.


"Hello, Giles speaki.."


Spike interrupted the man impatiently. "What does she look like?"


"Uh, hello to you too Spike. Who looks like what?"


"The girl! The Slayer... that Faith bird. What does she look like?!"


"Pretty, brown hair, looks evil..."


"Oh yeah, that's helpful watcher. You just described half of Sunnydale's population."


"Do you think you saw her?"


"That's the thing. I don't know. The only time I met her, she was in Buffy's body. That reminds me... I'll have to kick her ass for that."


"Look, come back here, and while you're on your way, I'll look around for a picture. I think I might have one somewhere."


"Fine. I'm on my way."


Ten minutes later, Spike was sitting on Giles couch while the Watcher was still looking for the picture.


"And what exactly made you think it was her, if I may ask."


"Well, for one thing, she was a real tramp. But it's also a few things she said. She said it was her first time out in more than a year. And at first, she asked if she knew me from somewhere, and she was really looking at me like she recognized me. Like I said, I really wouldn't recognize her since I've never seen her before, but she got a pretty close look at me."


"What do you mean?"


"Never mind, it's not bloody important at the moment. But the part that really got me thinking it could be her is when she snapped at me. She was starting saying something like "I'm so gonna stake you" But she never finished her sentence because that woman stopped her. Oh, and she was reaching into her jacket. Could have been a stake. Even if she's one of the bad guys, she still have the Slayer instincts I guess."


Giles came back holding a picture.


"I found it. Is that her?"


Spike examined the picture.


"Without a doubt. That's the girl I saw."


Spike got up and walked to the kitchen to make some tea.


"Good thing you saw her tonight. This way we won't be taken by surprise..."


The front door opened and Buffy walked in followed by the girls.


"Buffy?" He said it loudly so Spike would hear. "What in the world are you doing here at this time.. I thought you girls were having a night out..."


Spike had ducked behind the kitchen counter as soon as the door opened, and now sat on the floor, hoping no one would go to the kitchen.


Buffy crossed her arms on her chest, and let herself down on the couch with a 'humph', followed by Dawn and Anya. Willow stood by the couch, still a little uncomfortable around Giles after their face off a few months ago.


"We WERE having a night out. Until... until.. nothing happened."


"What do you mean?"


"I mean nothing happened. It's Friday night, it's 11pm, and the club was more than half-empty. Like everybody decided to stay home.


Giles removed his glasses and put them on the coffee table before leaning back into his armchair.


"And did you stop by to say hello and make me feel like I have a social life, or is there something unusual going on?"


Dawn looked insulted. "So you think we only stop by when there's something creepy going on?"


"Yes."


"You're so unfair, we so do not. We come here all the time."


"Because there is always something creepy going on Dawn."


Giles noticed Buffy was looking around with a frown.


"Is something bothering you Buffy?"


She looked at him like she’d just woke up from a dream. "What? Uh.. No. No, nothing. It's just... I don't know.. I just thought… Weird feeling. That's all. I'm tired. My Slayer senses are going haywire.” She shook her head slightly, still frowning. “Ok, lets get to the point so we can all go to sleep. There is something going on. I don't know what, but I don't think it's good. First, my Slayer dream about Faith. Then, we learn that Faith left the prison. There's also the overnight activity at the old High school. And now, the town is deserted on a Friday night. I know it’s not down town L.A., but still."


"I thought it was just the Bronze?" Giles asked, trying to make sense of what she was saying.


"No" Willow said shyly. "The streets too. As deserted as Christmas night."


"Oh" Anya said, remembering something. "And there was a line up today at the Construction Company’s office. People wanting to work on the High school project."


"Yeah, and that's definitely not good. When people volunteer to work on the Hellmouth, that spells trouble. So what do we do?"


"Do you think you could go take a look at the construction site tomorrow Buffy?"


"I'm working during the day, but I could go tomorrow night"


"Just make sure you're not going alone. You should definitely take someone with you. You never know what could happen."


"I could go if you want Buffy." Willow took a step forward. "I'm not ready to fight with magic yet, but I still remember how to use weapons."


Buffy smiled at her friend. "Of course Will. It will be good to be just you and me. We can talk like good old times."


Buffy stood up, and, to Spike's greatest relief, said that it was time to go.


"Willow and I will come back tomorrow night to let you know what we find out.


"Great. So now if you girls don't mind, I'd like to go to bed. I'll see you tomorrow Buffy." Giles got up too to see the girls to the door. He closed it behind them after saying goodnight, and walked to the kitchen.


"She knew I was here. She probably didn't believe it, but she knew." Spike stood up.


"Spike... will you go with them tomorrow night?"


Spike looked surprised.


"Of course I will. Why?"


"If something happens, I need to know, will you show yourself to help her?"


"That's a bloody stupid question Rupert. Of course I will."


"Good. That's all I wanted to know."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
warning: cheesy romantic moments ahead ;-) Also, I'm cuting all the chapters like this because I only wrote a couple of very long chapters on my website and didn't want to rename them all. Lazy lazy...


CHAPTER 3: Evesdropping, part 2


"Buffy? Are you there?"


"Hi Will! I'll be down in a sec." Buffy's voice came from upstairs. "Grab a few weapons from the chest, I'm almost ready."


A few minutes later, Buffy made her way downstairs where Willow was waiting for her, already holding and axe and a crossbow.


After Willow came back to Sunnydale, having spent some time in a coven in England, she had moved back in at her parent’s place. Buffy and her mended their friendship, but decided it would be better this way. Too many bad memories. And a little space is always good between friends. They were now trying to get back to being as close as they used to be, so they were spending as much time alone together as possible.


Buffy smiled at her friend. "Ready?"


"Yep. As ready as one can be to go back to high school"


Buffy put on her leather jacket and they walked out into the early night.


They made their way in almost complete silence, save some comments on people, weather and other banalities. They were unaware of the shadow following them closely. Though Buffy did turn around a lot, frowning at the vague feeling in her guts.


After a good fifteen minutes of this little game, Willow couldn't take it anymore. She stopped dead in her tracks. "Buffy!"


"What?" The slayer looked genuinely surprised, and maybe a little guilty.


"What the hell is wrong? You keep looking behind us and you're not paying attention to what I say. Is there something distracting you?"


"No. No, I'm fine. Just being paranoid. I thought, maybe.. never mind. Let's go. I wanna get this over with so we can do something more fun."


They walked the rest of the way to the cemetery close from the high school in silence again, but soon, Willow's curiosity got the best of her."


"Buffy, I thought we agreed never to lie to each other anymore. To never keep se.."


"I'm in love with Spike and I miss him. There. I said it. "


Floored, Willow stopped to look at her friend who kept walking past her like nothing happened.


"So not what I expected." Willow finally managed to say to no one in particular. "Buffy! Wait up!" She tried to catch up with Buffy who had kept on walking.


"Buffy!.."


The Slayer stopped and turned to face her friend. "I've been trying to find a way to say this for weeks now. I know I promised never to hide anything from you ever again, and I was still doing it. I'm sorry Willow. I just didn't know how to say that."


"Well... 'I'm in love with Spike' was a good way to say it. Pretty straight forward… Clear. No ambiguities. Yep, I'd give it a 9.5 out of 10. You lose .5 points for the shock factor. Very bad for my heart."


Buffy laughed and hung her head low. "So... you're not gonna rip my arm off and bash me over the head with it repeating 'dumb, dumb, dumb'?"


"Oh Buffy! Where do you get those ideas? I'm your friend, I'm not here to judge you. And there's not much to judge anyway. Besides, do I look like the saint who could throw you the rock? Miss: I date a werewolf, then turn lesbian, then try to end the world." She stopped for a second and observed Buffy who was still looking at her toes. "So, it's serious huh?"


Buffy finally lifted her head to look at Willow, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.


"Oh Buffy..." Willow pulled her into a hug. "That bad?"


"Yeees" she whined through her tears. "I pushed him away! He's never coming back. I did it again... pushed another guy away from me, and it's all my fault. And I'm never gonna be able to tell him. And I did nasty things to him. And I realized too late that I love him. And I said horrible things to him. And I'm a bad person. And.. And.. you despise me."


"What?! Buffy, no! Why would you say that?" She looked at Buffy with wide eyes.


"You said it once. You said I was pathetic."


"Buffy!! I was drunk on evil powers. I didn't mean that!"


"Must have come from somewhere inside of you. Some part of you must have believed it. You're just too nice to say it."


"Evil me just used something I knew about you to hurt you. It doesn't mean that I think you're pathetic."


"You don't think I'm pathetic for falling for another vampire? A soulless vampire?"


"No. We don't chose who we fall in love with. You think I would have chosen to be in love with Oz? Or to become a lesbian? Talk about complicating your life! It's not a choice, it just happens. If it were a choice, everybody would be happy. There would be no more heartaches. I don't think you're pathetic,” the redhead added sadly. “I'm just very sad for you. He's..."


"Kinda not here?"


"Yeah... That. Do you think he’s gonna come back?"


"I don't know. I don't think so. Let's just say we didn't part in the best of terms. We had a hell of a fight. That's why he left. I don't think he'll come back."


They started walking in direction of the high school again.


"I don't know Buffy. He loves you, you know." she said quietly. "When you died... he was... He probably never told you because he's proud, but we stopped him quite a few times from ending it. And for at least a month, we had to almost force feed him. He was a wreck. Dawn finally got through to him, but I don't think he would have ever gone back to being his old self again. It was like all life was gone out of him and the only thing that kept him going was Dawny. So knowing all that, I seriously doubt he would be able to stay away from both of you forever. But Buffy, the question is, do you think you're ready to face your feelings? What if he comes back and the two of you just fall back into the same patterns again? You didn't tell me much about it, but it didn't sound like a very… healthy relationship..."


They almost reached the school and stopped walking.


"Yeah, I know. But I'm ready. I want this now. It's a little late to realize it though. But even if he's gone, I'm still trying anyway. See? I told you, didn’t I? I also told Giles and Dawn. It's a good step, right? No more hiding for Buffy. If he ever comes back, there won't be anymore hiding. There won't be anymore lies.. to myself, or to others. No more being scared of getting judged by people even if they're my friends and I care about their opinion. It's my heart, and my love life. I'm the one living it and dealing with the consequences. And most of all, there won't be anymore shying away from love in case I would get hurt. You know, Xander told me something once that I thought I understood at the time, but I’m just starting to realize now how important his words were. He was talking about Riley leaving then, but it applies to any man I could fall in love with. He said something like "if you really think you can love this guy ... scary, messy, no-emotions-barred need ... if you're ready for that ... then think about what you're about to lose, go after him." Well he was right, and I didn't apply it. And I lost again. But I'm ready to fix it, if I have the chance. If Spike comes back..."


"You mean when Spike comes back."


Buffy smiled. "When Spike comes back, things will be different. No more pain. I'd like to let myself be happy for once, and make someone else happy in the process. That'd be a nice change."


Willow hugged Buffy again.


"I don't know if I can talk for Xander, but that's all I want for you. You haven't been happy in a long time, and I think it's your turn now."


"What do you say we go check out what's going on over there so we can get it over with and hit the ice cream shop?"


"Great idea."


"I swear to God Will, I've had so much comfort food lately, I'm getting fat!"


Willow laughed.


"You’re not fat! You're just... less skinny."


"What?! I'm not skinny!"


"Are too."


"Are not!"


The two girls kept bickering playfully until they reached a high metallic fence surrounding the construction site. There were 'Keep out' signs placarded to the fence, and not so friendly construction guys all over the perimeter. One of them actually told the girls to get lost. Buffy gave him her answer as a very unlady like gesture that made Willow laugh. They just kept walking around the site, not daring to cross the fence.


Far behind, Spike followed them slowly, still in complete shock after the conversation he had just overheard. He stopped behind a tree to light up a cigarette, and took a look at the surroundings, trying to spot something unusual. It didn't take him long. At a good distance from where he was standing, behind the well-guarded fence, stood the girl that he saw at the bar the night before. She was far, but he was almost completely sure it was her. She was talking to a group of people, one of them showing her a map. But what sent


Spike’s senses into overdrive was the other man standing in the shadow behind the brunette. Spike stared, not sure of what he was seeing, trying to get closer in order to get a better view. But before he could be a hundred percent sure of what he saw, the man disappeared. Spike crushed his cigarette under his boot.


*Bugger... not enough bloody trouble as it is..*


He looked around for Buffy, but she was out of sight. Cursing himself for letting his guards down, especially now that he knew she was in more danger than he could ever imagine, he started looking for her. If the guy he had seen was who he thought he was, the wanker could be trying to kill her at this very moment.


The blond vampire walked around for almost two hours before making his way to Buffy's house to make sure that she got home safe and sound. When he got there, everything was dark and quiet. He climbed up the tree and hopped on the roof to look inside her bedroom.


The slayer was there, undressing, getting ready for the night. She was standing naked in front of her mirror, brushing her hair. If he had breath, it would have caught in his throat.


Buffy put her brush down, and looked at something he couldn't see. She made her way slowly to her armchair, and picked up... his duster. She brought the soft leather to her face and inhaled deeply. Walking to her bed, she sat down. After looking around the room for a few moments, she turned the light off, and lay down, pulling the leather jacket over her naked body.


He could hear her crying and it brook his undead heart. Unable to take it anymore, Spike stepped over the windowsill, and into the bedroom. He walked quietly to the bed and lay down behind her, passing his arm over her shaking form. She kept crying for a few more moments, then turned to him. Putting her arms around him, she nuzzled his neck, clinging to his body.


"You're not gonna leave me again, are you?"


"Never."


"Spike..."


"Shhh, sleep. You need to rest."


Her sobs quiet down, and after a moment, she finally rested.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


When Buffy woke up, it was still early morning. She carefully opened an eye to make sure she hadn’t been dreaming, but being half-buried under a hard, and rather heavy body, made it difficult to doubt. She wiggled her way out from underneath Spike, trying not to wake him up, and looked at him for a moment. She smiled to herself *Yep, this is gonna be a good day*


After taking a quick shower, Buffy made her way downstairs to prepare some breakfast for Dawn. She got out the pan and everything needed to make some pancakes and turned the radio on. She started singing along in a very off key voice, dancing around. Buffy didn't hear when Dawn walked in.


"Oh boy I love you so, never, never, never gonna let you go, once I get my hands on you. Oh boy I love you so, never, never, never gonna let you go, I hope you feel the same way too..."


Dawn stopped at the door for a moment to take in the sight of a strangely overly cheery Buffy.


"Brace yourself everybody, the Slayer has officially gone mad"


She walked to the kitchen table and sat down.


"What's with the silliness and happy face this morning Buff? And... Are you cooking? You finally decided to end my life?"


Buffy put her hands on her hips and pretended to be offended. "I am not being silly, and there is nothing wrong with my cooking missy!"


"Your pancakes are burning pet."


"Crap!"


Long shriek from Dawn, and before he knew it, there was an hysterical teenage girl wrapped around him.


"Spiiiike! Oh my GOD, you're back!!"


"Actually, I'm not really here. The smell of your sister's pancakes are giving you hallucinations pigeon."


"Hey! I resent that I’ll have you know." Buffy tried to object.


Dawn ignored her sister and hit Spike on the chest, pouting. "Not funny."


She sat back down, a huge grin plastered on her face. "So, when did you get back? Where have you been? Why did you leave?.."


"I'll tell you everything bit, just not now.."


"Oooh I get it.” She said sulkily. “You wanna tell Buffy first, right? How come I never get to be the one who hears things first?"


Spike raised an eyebrow at the girl.


"Fine. But you have to tell me everything... eventually."


"Sure thing, nibblet."


"This is so cool! I'm so happy you're back!!" Dawn said, looking like she might burst from excitement any minute.


"I'm glad to be back too Dawn." he smiled affectionately at her and ruffled her hair.


They both turned to Buffy who was swearing softly under her breath, looking quizzically at the pan on the stove.


"Sorry Dawny. I tried, but the pancakes are officially dead. Want some toasts?"


"Nah, it’s all right. You'll burn them anyway."


"Hey!"


Spike tried not to laugh. It would be more than a little ironic to get staked after being back in Buffy’s life for only a few hours. He stood up. "If you ladies will excuse me, I need to take a shower."


Dawn got up too. "I'll be on my way. I'll leave you guys alooone." she bated her eyelashes at Spike who rolled his eyes. "I'll be gone for a very long time... I'll probably spend the night at Janice's." She grabbed her backpack. When Spike disappeared up stairs, Dawn ran back to her sister. She hugged her fiercely and kissed her on the cheek.


"So everything's gonna be fine then?"


"I think so." Buffy answered with a small, hesitant smile "Lots to work on, but I think things are gonna be ok."


Dawn said bye and left Buffy alone in the kitchen.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I don't usually name people who review, but I just have to. Cordykitten, Beth, Rana, and all you guys who left me a review for this story, thank you so much. You guys are the best and I want you to know your reviews are apreciated. And Beth, I saw the review you left me for PMJ and if you know a lot about prison, any idea would be welcomed. Not that I ran out already, but the more the better. So email me!

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CHAPTER 3: Evesdropping, part 3


"I don't know Giles... it was just all very strange. So many people working there, after dark. And those construction guys hanging near the fence were just... How could I put it?.. Hostile." Buffy was playing nervously with the phone cord. This phone call was getting to be very long. *should have stopped by last night like I was supposed to instead of waiting until this morning* She thought, slightly aggravated by Giles endless questioning.


"We'll have to go back, maybe in the middle of the night, when no one is there." Giles said, concern obvious in his voice.


Buffy hopped down from the kitchen counter where she had been sitting, eyes wide at the idea of ruining her first night with Spike back in her life. "Cou… could it wait until tomorrow night? I mean... they were still working on it, so nothing's gonna happen tonight, right?" she stammered.


"Why?"


"I'm... gonna be busy tonight. I need the night off."


Giles sighed. "I don't know Buffy..."


"Please?"


"Fine. You're probably right anyway. Nothing is going to happen tonight. So, you have something planned?"


"Uh.. yeah. You know Giles, I'm sorry, but I've gotta go. I'll call you if I something else happens ok?"


"Of course. If you must go..."


"Ok. Bye Giles."


She hung up before he could say anything else.


Buffy put the phone aside, and listened for a second, wondering what Spike was doing. She had been on the phone with Giles for a good half-hour, if not more. Spike should be out of the shower by now, but she didn't hear anything. So she got up, and slowly made her way upstairs. She first looked into her bedroom, but seeing that he wasn't there, she turned and knocked lightly on the bathroom door.


"Spike?.. Spike, are you in there? Can I come in?"


When she didn't get an answer, she slowly opened the door.


"Spike?.."


He was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, a towel around his hips, his head in his hands. When he heard her coming in, he lifted his head to look at her. She froze when seeing the look on his beautiful face. Utter desperation, pain, fear... it was all there, in his tormented blue eyes, his face wet with tears.


She slowly moved to sit next to him.


"It's just a bathroom you know." she murmured quietly. She paused for a moment, not really waiting for an answer. "You can't do this to yourself, dwelling on the past is pointless, and it's a waste of time."


Silence again. She could almost feel his pain, and she knew it was genuine.


"The forgiveness has to come from me, and I gave it to you a long time ago. It was actually easier for me to forgive you, than it was to forgive myself for what my insecurities and fears made me do to you."


He tried to interrupt her, but she wouldn't let him.


"No. Let me finish. It's important. What we did to each other last year... there's no words to describe it. We took something that could have been incredible, and we turned it into something toxic, for both of us. I'm responsible for most of it. I know that's not what you wanted, but you just took what I was willing to give you. And you got hurt, and I got hurt too because I wanted more just as much as you did, but I wouldn't let myself have it. And really, what happened at the end, was just the result of this mess that I mostly created."


"Buffy.. please.."


"But that's not the point Spike. The point is, it's the past. And that's now. If we want this to work... you and me, we have to put it behind us and start fresh. Yes we made mistakes. Terrible mistakes. But we have to forgive ourselves, and take it as a learning experience so it won’t happen again." She stood up in front of him.


"Are you willing to try Spike? If you're not, tell me now. Don't make me waste my time and break my heart." Her voice broke as she said the last words and she desperately fought the tears, but she managed to smile anyway.


Spike looked up at her and nodded.


"What do you say we get out of here?"


She grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. They walked out of the bathroom, and he followed her into the bedroom. She closed the door behind them. He stood in the middle of the room, unsure of himself, still upset about the conversation they just had. Buffy took one step towards him, and they stood in front of each other in silence, their bodies almost touching.


"Buffy..."


"Shhh" She put her fingers to his lips, smiling up at him.


"Spike..." She got closer, her lips almost touching his. "I want you to do what you always wanted to, and I never allowed you to."


"What's that pet?"


"Make love to me. Please."


Without another word, she kissed him tenderly, yet, passionately. Hesitant at first, he deepened the kiss. His tongue slowly, erotically, made love to hers. He snaked his arms around her slender waist and brought her body closer to his, savoring her warmth. A feeling he desperately missed for so long. Holding his Buffy in his arms. But for once, she wanted exactly the same thing he did. Feelings. Emotions. No more emptiness.


Buffy gently pushed him towards the bed, making him sit on it. She undid her robe, letting it fall to the floor and he pulled her back into his arms, kissing her again more fiercely this time.


"I missed you so bloody much pet… You don't know how much. Words couldn’t begin to describe it. You're all I can think of. All the time."


"I know" she murmured with her lips on his neck. "I was going insane without you."


She tugged on the towel still wrapped around his hips, and their skin finally made contact, a feeling they had been missing for months. Spike scooted back on the bed, pulling her along with him. She lay on top of him, rubbing herself on his shaft, arousing him more than it was possible to be. Their lips never parted, tongues dancing with one another. She straddled him and sat up on top of him. Spike moaned, begging her to end his torment.


"Please Buffy. Please, I need you."


"I need you too."


His hands roamed her body, rediscovering it like it was the very first time. And in a way, it really was. He caressed her breasts adoringly, worshipping her golden skin. Slowly, in a torturing way, she lifted herself over him and impaled herself on his hard shaft and let it slide inside of her painfully slowly. She wanted to take her time so she could enjoy the feeling of him filling her up one inch at the time. The feeling was overwhelming for both of them. She held her breath and stilled herself when he was completely sheathed inside of her, enjoying the way he was stretching her..


"I love you Spike."


He looked at her with wide eyes, the words he had longed to hear for what seemed like a lifetime resonating in his head. Words he’d never thought, not even in his most delusional moments, that he'd ever hear coming out of her beautiful mouth.


"Buffy... I love you so much..."


She smiled and lowered herself towards him, taking his lips with hunger. Her breasts were pressed against his cool chest as she started rocking back and fort, in a slow, torturing rhythm.


Soon, they were crying out each other's name in delight and ecstasy as she rode him harder. Everything disappeared around them when they came together, lost in their own world. She crashed on top of him, bliss overcoming her senses and Spike held her close to him.


Spent, Buffy rolled on her back and laughed softly.


"What's so funny pet?"


"Nothing, it's just..." she propped herself up on her elbow to look at him. "Nothing, it's silly, really."


"No, what is it?"


"It's just that... I use to think we couldn't get any better at this but, I don't know if it's the four months apart or what, but Jesus Christ, you just blew my mind."


"I don't know luv, maybe it's because it wasn’t a cold, emotionless shag… The way we used to have them during our less than stellar past together."


She smiled somewhat shyly at the reminder. "Yeah, might be it."


She kissed him gently while playing with his tousled bleached hair. "So, where have you been all this time?"


Spike suddenly looked uneasy. "Around."


"Let's try it one more time, being a little more vague." Buffy said, raising an eyebrow at him.


"But that's just it Slayer, I've been around. From Sunnydale to Kenya. Kenya to Morocco, to Spain. France, England... Around seemed like a good word to describe it."


"And of course, I would waste my time if I’d asked you what the Hell you were doing all the way across the planet?”


"I needed time to think. Clarify things about myself. Try to find out who I really am I guess."


"So you went to Tibet to meditate?" She joked, trying to get information from him.


"Not exactly."


"I'm not gonna get anything from you today, am I?"


"Sorry pet. It's not that I don't want to tell you, I just don't know how to say it. I'm not sure if I'm ready to talk about it."


She cuddled up against him with her head resting on his shoulder. "It's ok, you'll tell me when you feel like it. We don't have to talk." She caressed one sharp cheekbone with the tip of her finger, down the side of his face, finally resting her fingers on his full lips. He sucked lightly on her fingertips, then smiled down at her.


"You look tired Spike. Wanna sleep some more?"


He closed his eyes, and rested his head on the pillows with a sigh. "Mmm, yeah. Didn't get much sleep lately. Nightmares and Giles's bunkbed, not the best combination for a good night of..."


His eyes shot open when he realized what he had just said. Buffy sat straight up and stared wide-eyed at him.


"Excuse me? What did you just say? You stay with Giles?.. He knew that you were back?! For how long were you here?!?"


"Which question did you want me to answer exactly..."


"Spike!"


"Okay, okay! Don't get your knickers in a twist Slayer. I've been here for a week... and a half."


"He knew. Why did you go to him? Why did he let you stay with him? He fucking knew and he didn't tell me?! I'm so gonna kick his ass for that!"


"Buffy... Don't blame him, it's not his fault. I asked him not to tell you. He just kept his word, is all. When I got to London at the beginning of the summer, he was there to get his stuff before moving back to Sunnydale. I ended up, God knows how, on his doorstep. He helped me deal because it turned out the soddin soul isn't as much fun as I.." Once again, Spike realized, at Buffy's face, that he put his foot in his mouth. "Bugger"


"What did you say?" Buffy paled, her eyes slowly filling up with tears. "What are you talking about?"


"Buffy... I'm sorry pet. I didn't want you to find out like that."


"A... soul? You… got... your soul?"


"Yeah." he said softly, not daring to say anything else. Lifting his head to look at her, he saw that she was now crying. He smiled sadly.


"Bloody great. I did it to make you smile, but it seems like all I always manage to get from you are tears, no matter what I do."


She unexpectedly threw her arms around his neck, embracing him almost painfully. Hiding her face in his shoulder, she tried to control her sobbing to no avail. "I'm sorry. It's just a lot to take." she managed to choke out between two sobs. "I'll smile later, ok?"


"Shhh, it's ok pet. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."


After a few minutes, she pulled away from him.


"How.. How did you do it? I mean... There’s no super market for souls. And besides, demons don’t want souls. That's a well-known fact. Angelus would have rather staked himself than getting is soul back. And, you... Why?"


"God Buffy, it's so complicated, I don't even know where to start." he ran his fingers through his hair wearily, not looking at her. "Last year has been tough for both of us."


"I know, I was there, remember.?" She tried to joke.


He smiled sadly. "Yeah. Last year, I fooled myself into thinking that I was not the monster that I was. I really believed it Buffy. I thought I was good enough for you. When you were telling me that I was just a soulless evil... thing.."


Tears started falling from Buffy's eyes again as memories came flooding back.


"I didn't really believe it.” He continued. “I thought it was just stupid excuses for not being with me. Excuses to hurt me without feeling guilty about it. But that night... I realized that you were right all along."


"Spike..."


"No. Now it's my turn not wanting to be interrupted. I need to say this. I love you Buffy. I really do. More than I thought possible. When you died, the pain I felt from your lost was just unbearable. So many times I wanted to kill myself, make it stop. You're everything to me, and despite all that love, I still managed to hurt you in the end. What I did that night was unthinkable and there is no excuse for it no matter what you say. The worst part is that I only understood the extend of what I had done after it was too late. I guess that's when I got it: I can play man as much as I want, the monster is not dead. It’s always there inside of me. There would always be a moment when I could lose control of it and it would come forward and hurt the ones I love. I understood why you couldn't trust me. Because I couldn't be trusted. It’s as simple as that. As long as I didn't know what I was, as long as I hadn’t chose what I wanted to be, man or monster, I couldn't stay around you. And since I can't stay away from you... the conclusion seemed logical to me. I heard of a demon in Africa that could grant wishes to those strong enough to endure his trials. So I went, endured the trials, and got the soul."


"Then… then what?" She asked, barely loud enough for him to hear.


"Then I wandered around, lost and confused. Not sure of whom I was, and where I was. I wasn't entirely there, I'm shamed to admit. The horror and guilt was a little more than overwhelming during the first month. I have no idea how I got to London. No idea at all. All I know is that I found Rupert's place somehow. Rup found me on his doorstep just before sunrise one morning, and took me in. Through my mad rambling, he understood that I got my soul back. So he stayed with me for a week, to help me deal, before going back to Sunnydale."


"He left you there all alone after only a week?! What is he? Heartless?"


"Honestly pet, there wasn't much he could have done for me. He provided me with a roof, and a fridge full of blood. That's all I needed. And he called me pretty much everyday."


"Spike, I'm not worth all that pain."


"Of course you are Buffy. You're worth every second of it."


She went back into his arms, and after a moment, giggled softly, lost in her thoughts.


"What's funny pet?"


"It's just.. Can you imagine Angel's face when I tell him all that?"


Spike grinned happily at the thought.


"I can just imagine how the conversation would go. ‘Hi Angel! How are you doing? Me? Peachy. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. You know Spike... remember? Your childe that gets on your nerves sooo much? Well, we're in love, and he got his soul back for me. So, anything new in your life?"


"Oh, the Poof would stay catatonic for at least a year. His hair would go flat with the shock." Spike added, a dreamy look on his face.


"We'll tell him if it makes you happy. Promise."


"Really? You're not just saying that?" he asked, hopeful.


She grinned evilly at him. "Dead serious baby. You look like you could use some major cheering up."


"I think I have all the cheering up I need right here in my arms." He kissed her.


They lay back down on the bed just holding each other and spent the rest of the evening like that.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"Faith, what you did last night was really as stupid as it gets. Of all the people you could have been flirting with, you had to go for William the Bloody. Nice choice."


Lilah was pacing, completely aggravated by the Slayer who obviously couldn't care less. Faith was sprawled on her bed, filling her nails.


"Why would you go for the Bleached Wonder anyway sweetheart? He does have a nice ass, but he's annoying as hell. Believe me, I've been there, I know."


"I didn't know it was Spike, ok? Met the guy once, and I was still a little weird about being in Buffy's body at the time. And when I did recognize him, it just made it more fun. After all, how could he recognize me? I was wearing Buffy's body when I met him."


Faith got up, looking defiantly at Lilah. "You know what? This is pointless. First, I didn't ruin your plans. I just had a night out. My first in a year by the way."


"You didn't ruin our plans because I got there in time to stop you."


Faith ignored her. "Second, who cares if it was Spike. He hates Buffy. What would it change if he knows we're here?"


"For your information Faith" Gavin clarified, with that annoying teacher's pet look on his face, "Spike has been working for the Slayer for almost two years now. So yes, it does matter if he knows."


"Whatever."


"You know, none of this would have happened if you hadn't forced the girl to sneak out. If you had gone with her Lilah, nothing would have happened, and everybody would be happy. Now Faith, we'll fix it. Let's go out together. What do you say?"


Faith looked at him reluctantly, but then, she gave a quick glance at Gavin and Lilah and grabbed her jacket.


"No riots, scout’s honor."


Before the lawyers could protest, they were both out the door.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


When Spike woke up in the morning, he was alone in bed. He sat up and looked around the room sleepily. The Slayer was standing in the middle of the bedroom, holding a white cotton sheet around her body with one hand, her other arm hanging by her side. There was a sheet of paper held loosely in her hand. She didn't make a sound, but he knew she was crying. Getting out of bed, he walked up to her, putting his hands on her shoulders.


"What's wrong luv?"


She leaned back against him, not answering. So he took the paper out of her hand to look at it.


It was a drawing. Rather beautiful drawing actually. The two of them in bed, sleeping in a very intimate position, their bodies entangled closely. The artist was quite talented. No signature. Didn’t matter, it would have been unnecessary. He knew.


"God Buffy, I'm so sorry. I should have said something, but I wasn't sure enough."


"You knew? How did you find out?"


"The other night, when you went to the old high school, I thought I saw him with Faith. But they were so far away, and I didn't have enough time to make sure it was really him. Besides, he could have been just putting on an act to get some insides. I didn't want to upset you without making sure first."


He pulled her up against his chest.


"I'm sorry baby. I can only imagine how you must feel right now."


"No, I'm okay actually. I don't really care. He's been on and off a lot... I'm just so sad for him. He wanted redemption so much... But I'm ok. I'm ready to get it over with this time. I think it's better this way."


"You sure bout that Slayer? Angel's the love of your life... soul mate and all that rot. I though you wanted him to be redeemed so he would be human again and you could live happily ever after..."


Buffy pulled away and looked up at Spike with a mix of shock and anger. "What are you? Deaf or something? Haven't you heard me saying I love you? Do you think I say that to just anybody? Do you think I see you as a consolation price? I can't have my first choice so I'll just settle down for number two? I'm not in love with Angel anymore, haven't been for a while. I will always love him, as a friend, but I'm not in love with him. I love you, you moron!" She kissed him.


"Love you too Buffy."


"C'mon now, let's go tell the gang about the good new."


"Which one pet?" He asked her with a smirk.


Buffy sighed heavily. "Crap."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Liked it? Let me know!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CHAPTER 4: Red hot steel, and other gadgets, part 1


The doorbell to the magic box rang cheerfully as a flaming blanket covered vampire ran through the door, followed closely by a hysterical Slayer. Spike stomped on the blanket furiously while Buffy held her painful ribs and tried to catch her breath.


“Glad I gave you a good laugh Slayer. Wouldn’t be smelling like roast pig though if you had the decency to buy better quality blankets.” Spike tried to give Buffy a murderous look, but couldn’t help the slight smile that was tugging at his lips.


Buffy snorted. “Baby! ‘sides, if I’d buy better quality blankets, I’d miss the show of seeing you run with your ass on fire.” She started giggling again.


They were both completely oblivious to the five pair of eyes staring at them in silence as they kept bickering like good old times.

“Luv, I wonder if you’d find the big pile of dust nearly as bloody funny…”


Still arguing happily, they walked towards the stunned, silent, Scoobies.


“Spike, for a vampire, you really are a drama queen. I think you’re watching Passions way too much.”


That’s when Xander finally found his voice back. Not taking his eyes off Buffy and Spike, he asked Dawn with a fearful voice: “Dawny? When you said Buffy needed time off so she could be alone with the new… man of her life, you didn’t mean….”


Instead of answering, Dawn burst out laughing. Ignoring them, Giles addressed Spike.


“Spike. Glad to see that for once, you were able to put your stubbornness aside long enough to listen to my advice and do the right thing.”


“Yeah, I have my moments. Not as thick as everyone thinks I am.” Spike smirked at Giles, and leant against the counter while Buffy took a seat at the table. “What is it, missed your roommate Watcher?”


“Wait just a minute! You knew about this? Bleach Boy was back and…”


Giles completely ignored Xander and put his glasses back on his nose. “I was actually hoping that you moved out for good…” The Watcher gave Spike a hopeful look. “ Did you move out for good?”


Suddenly uncomfortable, Spike gave Buffy a quick glance, not knowing what to answer. But she answered for him.


“You can relax Giles, Spike’s done stealing your scotch, he’s moving out..” she turned to Spike, a little insecure “You’re moving out, right?”


The vampire gave her his brightest, most sincere, smile in answer to her question. She smiled back, but remembering something, she turned her head sharply to look at her Watcher.


“You! You are in so much trouble! I trusted you.. How could you keep a straight face when I was confessing my feelings to you the other day? I never knew you were such a good liar.”


“Buffy, Spike told me…”


“Since when do you listen to anything Spike says?”


“Buffy, please…”


“Oh no, don’t you Buffy me. I’m sorry to inform you that you are on my shit list for the next… oh five minutes at least!” She crossed her arms on her chest and glared at Giles with a mocked scold on her face.


Dawn, Willow and Spike burst out laughing at Giles’ expression, while Xander just put his head down on the table, arms crossed on top of it.


“If it can make it any better, I did try to convince him to talk to you, and not only because I wanted to get rid of him.” Giles said, taking a seat next to Xander.


Spike looked at him with exaggerated shock on his face. “What? Rup! I can’t believe you’d say that… I though you liked having me as your roommate. Both of us getting pissed on Scotch every night, you telling me stories of your past glory, me telling you how bloody pathetic you are… You hurt my feelings, really.”


Giles looked shamefully at the Scoobies. “I do not get pissed every night telling stories of when I was young. It only happened once.” They laughed again at that. “And Buffy, I am really sorry…”


“Giles. You can stop apologizing now, I was kidding. I understand and it’s ok. We can move on. We actually came here be…”


Xander interrupted her, not looking up from the table. “Can somebody wake me up when this is over so I can wake up in a world where Fangface is still missing and Buffy doesn’t bonk the evil undead?”


Getting pissed off, Buffy slammed her hand on the table. “Did that wake you up Xander? Oh, damn! You have the wrong reality: Spike is not missing anymore, and Buffy is still bonking the not so evil undead. Sorry you don’t like my world. If you want, I could ask Anya to send you to her ex boyfriend the Troll’s world, the one with evil bunnies in it..”


Anya nodded and smiled happily at the thought.


“Now. Not that I don’t like discussing my private life with you guys, but there is an actual reason why we’re here. If there weren’t, believe me, we’d still be cuddling happily at home. Unfortunately, we have to get down to business because we have a big problem.” Buffy took a deep breath, and Spike came to stand behind her, putting a supportive hand on her shoulder. “We have good reasons to think that Angel lost his soul again and is here in Sunnydale.”


There was a collective gasp around the table. Giles removed his glasses, not even bothering to clean them this time, he just put them down on the table and pinched the bridge of his nose, frowning. “And what brought you to that conclusion Buffy?”


“Well… when we woke up this morning, there was a drawing on the pillow… a drawing of us, sleeping.”


“What does it have to do with Angel losing his soul?” Anya asked, having never met Angelus.


“An, Angelus is a really creepy vampire. And lets just say that drawing is one of his thing. He creeps into your room while you’re sleeping, and instead of killing you like any good vamp would do, he makes drawings of you sleeping and leaves them on your pillow. This way, when you wake up, it scares the shit out of you to know that someone was in your room watching you sleep.”


Anya’s face brightened. “That’s an original idea! What a great way to bring terro…. “ She stopped when she saw that everybody was giving her horrified looks. “Oh. Of course I mean by that that it is terrible to do such an evil thing to people and… You were going out with that guy?”


“Yeah. Could we get back to the important stuff?” Buffy rolled her eyes at the vengeance demon. “We know nothing more unfortunately, but it’s enough to be worried.” Buffy turned to Willow. “Do you have you’re magic enough under control to be able to perform a deinviting spell Will?”


“Of course. That’s pretty basic and doesn’t request much power. I’m on it.”


“Ok. So Willow will do a deinviting spell at my place. Anybody else was dumb enough to invite Angel back into their home?”


They all shook their heads in silence.


“Buffy, don’t be too hard on yourself, you couldn’t possibly know it would happen again… “ Giles started.


“No Giles, I should have been more careful. He could have slaughtered us in our sleep! Even if Angel knows that sleeping with someone he loves will make him lose his soul; it doesn’t make him safe to have around. We know what the trigger is, but perfect happiness is pretty vague. Inviting him back into my house was a mistake. I put my family in danger. He could lose his soul receiving a giant screen TV for Christmas for all we know!”


“Or a life time supply of hair gel.” Spike added with a smirk. Xander actually giggled discretely at that, disliking Angel way more than Spike.


“Buffy, I’m sorry this is happening. You’re probably really upset. You want me to curse him?” Willow asked quietly, not looking at Spike, unsure of what the situation was.


Buffy smiled and put a hand on Willow’s. “I’m absolutely fine Will. No worries. Angel had his chance. Twice. Ok, this is not his fault. But we can’t keep on cursing him like that. Maybe it’s just better this way.”


“You sure? Cause I could try to alter the curse to make it permanent…”


“I don’t know. You can look at it if you want, but if it’s too much for you, don’t. I’d rather have to stake Angelus than having to lose you. If you slip, if you lose control… maybe we won’t be able to get you back this time.”


Spike frowned, and lowering his voice, asked Buffy “I did miss on a lot last summer, didn’t I.”


Buffy smiled at him while Willow blushed bright red. But the young witch answered nonetheless. “I kinda turned evil last spring… the day after you left. I’ll tell you everything later on if you want.”


Spike smiled genuinely at Willow. “Sure thing Red. I know a bit about evil. We’ll sit and talk if you want.”


“Oookay. Not that I have anything against the bounding, but what do we do about Angelus?” Xander seemed eager to put an end to the conversation.


“I think our priority would be to find out if he’s working with Faith.”


“I’m pretty much assuming he is” Buffy pointed out, in full slayer mode now “but we can’t just assume, we have to make sure. Though, what a coincidence that would be if they just happen to be here at the same time.” She gave Spike a quick look before continuing. “Spike and I will do a long intensive patrol tonight. Try to find out whatever we can. But I don’t think we’ll have a problem finding him. Angelus wouldn’t go through the trouble of making that little portrait of us if he didn’t plan on attacking eventually. It’s not his style to start something and let it slide.”


Willow grinned excitedly at Buffy. “Talking about the portrait… can we see it?”


Buffy and Spike answered as one. “NO!”


Willow sank in her chair, disappointed. “Why? Maybe there are some clues in the drawing… something you could have missed. Can’t be that bad.”


“Yes, huh..” Spike stammered, not looking at anybody.


“It is...” Buffy’s face was flushed with shame as she remembered just how detailed the drawing really was.


“No clues there, right Slayer?”


“Nope. No clues…”


“And it’s kinda private..”


“So no one will see it..”


“I think what they are trying to say” Anya chimed in “Is that it’s a pornographic drawing. Like a porn picture, but a drawing.”


Buffy dropped her forehead to the table, wishing the Hellmouth would swallow her.


Spike looked at Anya, horrified. “Does she have to talk?”


Willow was just as red as Buffy. “If I wasn’t on a magical diet, I would make her stop talking for you, but unfortunately…”


“S’ok Red, don’t worry bout it. I’ll just… I’ll.. go smoke in the training room.”


Buffy gasped and lifted her head to watch him as he left the room. “Hey! You’re leaving me here alone you coward?!” She stood up quickly and started following him. “I’ll go smoke with you.”


“But you don’t smoke pet…”


“Would you shush already? Today is as good a day as any to start!”


Giles rolled his eyes as they both disappeared into the training room.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Faith jumped down on the roof through the open window and walked towards Angelus. He was standing in the shadow, well away from the afternoon sun, smoking a cigarette.


“You didn’t apologize yet for ruining our date yesterday.”


Angelus kept smoking without answering, or even looking at her.


“It was supposed to be fun. Standing outside B’s house in the middle of the night for almost two hours doesn’t qualify. What was that anyway? You didn’t even bother telling me what the hell you did in there.”


“Witnessing the bad tastes of Slutty the Vampire layer.”


Faith sat on the rampart at the edge of the roof, in the sun, and laughed. “Whoa! What the heck did you see in there big boy? Sounds interesting.”


Angelus smirked and threw his cigarette over the edge of the roof. “The proof that the little tramp deserves to suffer before dying, and that my childe is pussy whipped and needs a lesson.


Faith tilted her head, frowning in confusion.


“Your childe? Who’s your childe and what does it have to do with Buffy?”


“That guy you flirted with the other night and said wasn’t a threat cause he hates Buffy… Spike. That’s my childe. And the part where he hates Buffy? I don’t usually get naked with people I hate.” He stopped to think about what he just said, then corrected. “Well, I do, but they don’t survive long enough to talk about it.”


The rogue Slayer’s mouth formed a perfect “O”.


“You mean… He was in bed with her?! The fucking little bitch! How does she manage to always be a step ahead of me?”


He gave her a slightly amused smile, and lifted an eyebrow at her. “Faith. Please. Do you really want Slutty’s left overs? Not only is he pathetic, but he’s damaged goods.”


“Yeah, look who’s talking.”


The vampire growled at the brunette. “Watch what you’re saying if you want to live to see the rest of the day.”


“And you be careful with the threats if you don’t want to go sunbathing.”


They glared at each other for a moment.


“You know” Angelus started saying, looking away from the girl, “the work on the Hellmouth is almost over.”


“Yes I know” she answered quietly.


“They’ve started to throw the bodies in it. Four nights, and it will be time for the ritual. Twenty-four hours in a day, twenty-four bodies a day. The little twit will figure it out soon enough with all the disappearances and she’ll try to stop us. We might as well get rid of her now. Besides, if we wait until the night of the ritual to get rid of her, we will be too busy to enjoy it. So why wait?”


Faith crossed her arms tightly on her chest, feeling cold all of a sudden. “What’s on your mind?”


“Hunting… violence.. and games. What do you say sweets? Are you up to it?”


She gave him a forced smile. “Always.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CHAPTER 4: Red hot steel, and other gadgets, part 2



Spike was sitting on the gymnastic horse, Buffy standing between his legs, her hands on his thighs.


“So are you gonna tell me what the bloody Hell happened here?”

She leant forward, putting the top of her head against his chest and snaked her arms around his waist. “Nothing good Spike.” She sighed. “I don’t know where to start. Tara… The day after you left, I was in the backyard and Warren showed up. He had a gun. He shot me and one of the bullets got Tara. She died instantly. The only reason I’m still here is because Willow got the bullet out of my chest magically. But she couldn’t save Tara.”


He let out a small gasp, and tightened his hold on her. They stayed like that for a moment before he worked up the courage to speak again.


“The little witch… she’s dead?” It wasn’t really a question, just unreasonable hope that he had misunderstood.


Buffy couldn’t say a word, her own disbelief washing over her all over again while he tried to assimilate the concept of Tara being gone.


“I always fail, don’t I.”


“What?” Buffy looked up at him, not understanding why he would blame this on himself. “What does it have to do with you?”


“I promise myself I’d protect the ones I love, but when things get bad, I’m nowhere in sight.”


“Spike..”


“Tara was the most descent person I’ve ever met. The kindest. The little bird always treated me like I was part of the damn Scoobies. To her, I existed. I wasn’t just the bleached pain in the ass. And I genuinely loved her for that. But when she needed to be saved, where the bloody Hell was I? “


“Spike, you couldn’t know what was going to happen. And you had your own issues to deal with.”


He let out a short, humorless chuckle. “Yeah, my issues… Still. I should have been here. To protect you, to protect the witch…"


“There’s nothing you could have done.” Willow walked up to the blond couple. “Broad daylight. Human. Gun. The bullet went straight through her heart. You being in Sunnydale really wouldn’t have changed anything.”


“’S that what happened Red? The allusions about you having been evil and all?.. That’s what happen.” He asked quietly, Buffy and him both looking at the redheaded witch whose pain at the memories was evident.


Willow looked away, still ashamed of her actions. Ashamed of how easily the pain and the darkness had taken over her.


“Yes. But it’s no excuse for what I’ve done.”


“Red, I don’t know what you’ve done, but having the woman you love killed in front of you excuses pretty much everything.”


“I killed him Spike.” She said, staring deep into his eyes. “First, I tortured him a little. Then I skinned him and set him on fire.”


If the situation hadn’t been this serious, Spike’s expression would have been comical.


“Cor Red, that’s…” He shut his mouth, realizing that words would have been useless.


“I killed two humans that night Spike, and I could have killed my friends, just because they were in the way. I almost killed Giles. I was so drunk on dark magic’s, I wasn’t in control of my anger and my hatred anymore. Damn, I almost ended the world that night.”


He felt Buffy tensing slightly at Willow’s words, and took mental note to talk to her about that later. If her best friend had tried to end the world, chances were it just added one more issue to the long list of Buffy issues.


“Spike? You told me you know a chapter or two about evil… Am I? I’m not sure anymore. Maybe it’s in my nature and I’m just repressing it.”


“Pain brings the worst out of people. Makes them do things that are not in their nature. Doesn’t make you a bad person ducks… just someone who had her insides ripped apart, is all.”


The blond vampire tucked a loose strand of red hair behind Willow’s ear.


“I’m sorry Red.”


“For what?”


“I’m sorry I wasn’t here to kill him for you.”


Willow smiled sadly. “You couldn’t have anyway.”


“Doesn’t matter. I would have. Even if the chip had turned me into a soddin vegetable. I would have killed him so you wouldn’t have to.”


Willow gave her two friends a hug. After a few minutes, Buffy decided to interrupt the moment.


“Spike? Aren’t you supposed not to have murderous thoughts anymore? What with the new soul and all…”


“Bollocks. Some wanker walks around shooting my girls. Soul or no soul, there’s no way in hell he’s gonna keep going on his merry way, unscathed.” The Slayer reached up to kiss him.


Willow cleared her throat. “Sorry to interrupt guys, but if you don’t mind, I’ll go to your house to do the deinviting spell before sunset.”


“Thanks Will. Do you need me to come with you?”


Willow smiled at her friend. “Nah. I’ll be fine on my own. I’ll be back before sunset.”


And she walked out of the training room, just as Dawn walked in.


Buffy and Spike watched curiously as Dawn walked to the middle of the training room with her backpack, a serious expression on her pretty face. She put it down, and looked through it, then pulled out two bright orange pompoms. She stood, facing her sister and Spike, and cleared her throat officially.


“The cheerleaders try outs are next week and I need volunteers to tell me if I’m good enough… Oh yeah, that’d be you guys.”


Spike gave Dawny an amused look while playing with Buffy’s hair. “Sure thing Nibblet, cheer away, we’re watching.”


As the teenager cartwheeled and jumped around, Buffy snuggled up against Spike, a sudden feeling of dread washing over her.


“Will there even be a next week Spike? Will my little sister even have the chance to be a cheerleader, date boys, be happy?” she whispered against his ear.


“Don’t be silly luv. Of course she will. We’ll defeat the bad guys and stop the end of the world yet again, so little bit can have a world where she can cheer and date… Hey, isn’t she a little young to have dates?”


Buffy laughed into his chest. “She’s sixteen you over protective psycho vamp. In the 21st century, girls are dating at sixteen.”


“Sorry pet, I’m a little old fashioned.”


The started kissing playfully, but an outraged teenager soon put an end to their snuggling.


“I can’t believe you!? I just jumped around like an idiot for nothing, you guys didn’t even watch me! Couldn’t you spend like five minutes without sucking face?..”


They had the decency to at least try to look ashamed. “Sorry Nib… we got carried away…”


Dawn didn’t soften her glare. “A little self control maybe?”


“Do it again pigeon, we’ll watch this time. Sides, you know what they say Dawny, practice makes perfect. Look at me, 127 years of practice and I don’t think I could get anymore perfect.” He gave Buffy his patented cocky grin.


Buffy disentangled herself from her boyfriend and walked up to her sister.


“Lets see if I still have it.” She grabbed her little sis and said a few things in her ear, then she got Dawn’s extra pompom from her bag and the two girls started doing their little steps and jumps singing:


He’s sexy… He’s hot… He’s your super perfect vamp! He’s the Big Bad and is name is…
S-P-I-K-E! SPIKE!!!


They shrieked mockingly, shaking their pompoms frantically under Spike’s glare. Dawn stopped and pointed at him, her mouth gaping exaggeratedly. “Oh my god! It’s him! It’s… Spike!”


She dramatically put the back of her hand to her forehead, and pretended to faint, letting herself fall back on the gymnastic mat.


Buffy laughed hysterically at the vampire, wiping tears from her eyes.


“You Summers girls are a laugh a minute.” He said, sarcasm dripping from his voice, but smiling nonetheless at Dawns antics.


For a moment there, they felt like life goes on, and always will. But reality always comes crashing back. This time, it was Xander clearing his throat loudly.


“I am terribly sorry for interrupting this ‘make fun of Spike’ moment, but… someone wants to talk to you Buffy.” He pushed an obviously shaken Cordelia in front of him.


Buffy, Spike and Dawn stood next to each other and observed the new comer in silence, unsure of what to say. For some reason, ‘Hey Cordy, how’s it going’ didn’t sound appropriate.


Buffy instantly recognized the look on Cordelia’s face, for it was one she once had on her own face… What seemed like a lifetime ago. Pure pain. The kind you feel when the man you love loses his soul and tries to kill you. A sudden urge to reassure herself made her grasp Spike’s hand. A way to remind herself that she had found love again and the pain eventually had gone away.


There seemed to be nothing left of Queen C. Cordelia’s features were still gorgeous, but pale and tired. Her newly short hair was pulled back in a half ponytail, and she was wearing a gray sweatshirt too big for her, cargo pants and snickers. Her lack of style contributed to make her look even more miserable.


“Guys, could you leave us alone for a moment?” Buffy said, her eyes never leaving Cordelia. “I think we need to talk between girls.”


They all moved towards the door, but Buffy was reluctant to let go of Spike’s hand. They locked eyes for a second, and he gave her a reassuring smile.


“I’ll be there if you need me luv.” And he walked away, leaving the two women alone.


When Cordy didn’t move, Buffy took her hand and led her to the bench.


“I know why you’re here. Angelus.”


Cordelia’s eyes got teary and she looked down at her hands.


“Cordy? Are you gonna be all right?”


“Buffy, I’m so sorry. I know I shouldn’t be here… I have no right to come to you, of all people. You’re probably going to hate me, but no one else could understand.”


“Hate you? Cordelia, why would I hate you?”


She hesitated. “You and Angel… your background together… it’s complicated. And I…”


Buffy smiled. “You think I’m gonna hate you because you’re in love with Angel? Is that it?”


Cordelia’s head snapped up and she gave Buffy an almost fearful look. “How do you…”


“Come on, it’s pretty obvious. You look exactly like me when it happened a few years ago.” Her voice was full of compassion. “ Cordelia, I’m sorry.”


“You don’t hate me? Angel was the love of your life, and there I am, claiming to love him, and running to you.”


Buffy rolled her eyes. “Geez, what is it with you people? Does everybody think I’m lame enough to still be obsessing over my ex four years after we broke up? Hey, I moved on. And if he did, I’m glad it’s with you.”


“So, Spike huh?”


Buffy seemed taken aback. “How did you know?”


She gave the Slayer a good old-fashioned Cordelia look. “Buffy, come on, I’m not dumb. The look you gave each other?.. And the ‘I’ll be there if you need me’?” She smiled faintly at her friend. “Good for you. He’s a major hottie.”


Buffy grinned proudly. “Yep. That he is.”


“But we’ll have to have a girls talk someday and you’ll have to tell me everything. Cause to be honest, I feel like I’m watching a movie and I missed half of it while I was in the washroom. Last time I’ve seen Spike, he was torturing Angel to get a ring so he could kill you, and now he’s what? Smooching you to death?”


Buffy laughed at that. “I promise we’ll tell each other everything once we figure out what’s going on and we stop it. We’ll have dinner together and we’ll catch up.”


“Yeah, bad things are coming. I guess we’d better concentrate on that.”


After hesitating for a moment, not knowing how to bring it up, Buffy finally asked Cordelia “I need to know now Cordy. What do you want me to do? I don’t know what he’s done to you. I don’t know if you want him dead, or cursed again… I need to know so we can plan what we’re gonna do. We already have an apocalypse to stop, so we have to think of everything.”


“Do you think you could…”


“Get Willow to curse him?”


“Yes.”


She squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. “Of course we will. I’ll talk to Willow. She went to my place to do a deinviting spell right now, but as soon as she’s back, I’ll tell her. She said she could maybe alter the spell to make it permanent.”


She stood up. “Ok. Now that it’s settled, is there any information you have that could be useful? We already thing Angelus is working with Faith. She’s out of prison and planing the apocalypse. You know, the usual.”


“Yes, they are working together. I had a vision, and there’s a few things Angelus told me himself.”


Spike cracked the door open and knocked lightly on the frame to get their attention.


“Sorry to interrupt, but I figured this could go on forever. For some reason, there’s always a lot to say about my poofter of a sire. Just want to know if you girls want something to eat. The whelp is going out for pizza.”


“Sure. Tell him to go, and bring Giles back here. Cordelia has information for us.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Faith watched, as yet another victim was taken to the opening in the Hellmouth, a cold expression on her face. This one was a young boy, around 17 years old, with red hair. He reminded her of Oz and she couldn’t help thinking about the first time she had met the Scooby gang at the Bronze, what seemed like a lifetime ago.


God she had impressed them so much with her bullshit. Half of the stories she had told them that night were coming straight from her imagination, but they were enjoying it. They were enjoying her. But it hadn’t been her. Just like it wasn’t her right now, watching a teenager get sacrificed, without any apparent emotion. They couldn’t know that she was scared. They couldn’t know that she was horrified. Because that would mean that she was weak and weak people didn’t survive. Weak people got dragged to a hole in the ground, and tumbled to their death. But not her. It would never happen to her. She would not die like her mother did, begging for her life as her father had crushed her skull with a frying pan. She would not die crying like her watcher did, as a vampire had ripped her insides out. No, not her. She was a survivor.


“Are you ok Faith?” Angelus asked, the lack of concern in his voice contradicting his words.


“Five by five big guy. Why do you care?”


“I really don’t. Just curious. I was wondering what could be going on in your head while you’re watching the show. I know you’ve killed people, but this one is a young one. His whole life in front of him and all that shit. Thought some part of you should care.” He said with a mocked scold.


“Not the tiniest little bit. The boy would have ended up in a trailer park anyway. We’re doing him a favor.” She answered, shrugging.


Angelus laughed. “ Just what I was thinking. Our mind thinks the same way honey. Maybe I should turn you…”


“Hey! Back off if you don’t want to accidentally trip in that hole over there.”


Angelus put his hands up in surrender. “No need to get cranky, I was just saying.”


Faith looked around at the people working on what used to be a high school, and now looked more like a makeshift arena. No one was even paying attention to the sacrifices, thanks to the mind control spell they were all under. At least twenty people or so had been killed in silence so far, and nobody had shown any kind of emotion, or attempted to stop the murders.


The girl shook the disturbing thoughts away. “In two days, this place is gonna be ready for the ritual.”


“You ready?”


“You bet. Can’t wait to get this over with actually. It’s gonna be a blast.”


“Yeah, this is all gonna be a lot of fun, but I have plans for us tonight babe.”


“About Buffy?”


He smirked. “How did you guess?”


“I don’t know. Maybe because you’re even more obsessed with her than I am.”


“Nothing wrong with obsessing over killing the Slayer, that I can assure you.” He put his arm around her. “But enough talking. We have a couple of things to plan if we want to make the most of our night of fun. It’s not everyday that you get to play with the Slayer. Better make sure everything is perfect. Let’s go.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Giles stood with his arms crossed on his chest, looking down at the two girls sitting crossed leg on the training mat.


Spike was back on his spot on the gymnastic horse.


“So you think this law firm is responsible for Angel losing his soul?”


“They had been trying for a long time now, but I don’t think so, I know so. I was there.”


Cordelia took a deep breath. “Wesley had come to the Hyperion to warn us that Wolfman & Hart had hired a soul stealer. His sources are fairly sure since he sleeps with one of Wolfman & Hart’s lawyer.”


Buffy couldn’t repress her laugh. “Wesley has a girlfriend?!.. An evil girlfriend? That is too funny.” When she noticed everyone looking at her, she added, “Ok, I’ll shut up now. Go on Cordy.”


“So this guy in black robe walked in. Angel and I were alone together. The guy stopped at the door, chanted a few words, then walked out like nothing happened. When I turned around, Angel was unconscious on the ground. I dragged him to the couch and tried to make him wake up. When he did, he assured me he was fine. But as soon as I turned around, something hit me over the head and I passed out. Only to wake up in one of the rooms on the floor we don’t use, tied up to the bed.”


Cordelia closed her eyes for a moment. Nobody dared interrupting her. “Angel… was acting strange. I knew right away that the guy who had walked in earlier had been the soul stealer Wesley was warning us about. It wasn’t Angel standing next to the bed, it was Angelus.”


She took a deep breath, obviously reliving the horror in her head. “I won’t get into the details of what he did to me, it’s too painful, and pointless to the story. But before leaving me there, Angelus rambled for a little while and in his cockiness, he let a few details slip out. He said that Wolfman & Hart got Faith out of jail and they were planning a trip to Sunnydale for a little apocalyptic fun. Something about using people to feed the Hellmouth, then opening it for good and ruling the demons of the world, have them under their control. Anyway, that’s pretty much all he said before leaving me there to die. Fortunately enough for me, Fred… that’s the girl we rescued from another dimension while you guys were fighting that Hell God. Fred got into a fight with her boyfriend and decided to wander through the hotel to cool off. That’s how she found me three days later.”


Nobody dared speaking for a little while, but Giles finally found the courage to break the heavy silence. “This is truly horrible Cordelia. I am terribly sorry this happened to you. I am also sorry to say that with a demon like Angelus, it will be either way the stake, or finding a way to make the curse permanent. There can’t be any in between solutions. He is too dangerous.”


They all nodded, agreeing with the Watcher. “Is there anything else you can tell us? Dates? Time? Name of the ritual?…”


“Unfortunately, that’s all he said. But I did have a vision.” At the hopeful expression on her friend’s faces, she added quickly “Nothing positive though. Lots of fire, bodies being thrown into the opening of the Hellmouth, Faith chanting… and Buffy…” Spike tensed at her hesitation. “You couldn’t fight your fight.”


Buffy raised her eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean ‘I couldn’t fight my fight’? I’m not…” She gave Spike a quick look before asking. “… gonna die, am I.”


“No. I don’t think so. I didn’t actually see you in the vision, but I knew. See, my visions are a mix of images and feelings. I was seeing Faith doing the ritual, but I could feel that you were gonna lose that battle. Now, that doesn’t mean the battle is lost. It just means that you won’t be winning it. And even that is not set in concrete. Now that I had the vision, we can always change it. The future is never decided until it happens.”


“Well it won’t.” Buffy stood up, aggravated by Cordelia’s words. “The day I lose a battle, it will be because I die, not because I forfeit. And I’m not gonna lose, especially not to Angelus and Faith.” She could feel Spike’s piercing gaze on her, and she shuddered. He didn’t need to say a word. She knew what was on his mind, and what he was feeling.


“Buffy,” Giles tried, unsure what to tell his Slayer. “I know it is not in your nature to give up, or let other people fight for you, but sometimes it’s the best thing to do. We don’t know what Cordelia’s vision means, but…”


“I know Giles. Slayer’s rule number one: Don’t die. And I have no intention to. Not now. You know, when I jumped off that tower before, I thought I had nothing to live for, except my sister. And she was going to die if I didn’t. I was glad to go, knowing that you would all live, and I had done my job. ” She admitted softly. “But things are different now. Life is finally getting to be good again after a long period in the dark, and I’m not gonna give that up. So I’m gonna fight. And I’m gonna win. End of the story.”


She glared at her watcher, daring him to contradict her. “Now, Spike and I will patrol tonight, and try to find Angelus and Faith. Or at least find where they hide. I mean… if we kill them now, no chance for them to start their little chanting, right?”


The blond vampire finally found the strength to smile at her, trying desperately to push away the image of her dead body lying on a pile of concrete. He couldn’t go back there. Couldn’t think of her end or he’d lose his mind.


“Sure thing luv. Kill before you get killed. That’s my motto. Well at least, it is now. We’ll try to find them tonight so we can attack when they don’t expect it. That should increase our chances.”


“Ok, let’s go home and change, grab a bite, then we’ll leave for patrol.” Buffy took her sport bag off the floor and started for the door. But she stopped and looked at Cordelia. “Where are you staying Cord?”


“That cheap motel just outside of town. I think it’s actually the same motel where Faith used to live when she first got to Sunnydale. How creepy is that.”


Buffy looked at Spike, and he nodded. “Too creepy. Why don’t you stay with us until we fix that mess? We have an extra room since Willow moved out.”


“I don’t know Buff… I feel kind of bad invading your house like that.”


“Nah, no problem, the house is big enough for the four of us. Lets go.”

They were almost out of the magic shop when Xander walked in carrying three boxes of pizza. “Hey! Where are you guys going?..”


“Going home to see how Willow’s doing with the deinviting spell. Then it’s patrol time for us.”


They didn’t stop, and when passing next to Xander, Spike grabbed the first pizza box on top of the pile.


“Hey!!!”


“Thanks Whelp.”


And before Xander could protest any further, they were all gone.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys. Keep em coming. I need them like air, water and food ;-)

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Warning for sensitive souls. There is some torture in this chapter and the next one. Oh, and by the way, I’m a review junkie so please indulge me. It takes only two minutes of your time, and it makes my entire day :-) Oh, and the title of the chapter will finally make sense. Hate to cute my chapters like this, but I don't really have a choice. I hope it doesn't bother you too much


CHAPTER 4: Red hot steel, and other gadgets, part 3


After installing Cordelia in Willow’s old room, and eating the pizza, Buffy and Spike left for patrol with one thing on their mind: find Angelus. It really didn’t take long. About fifteen minutes after they had left the house, they came across what they were looking for.


“See? I told you Faith. Wish for the Slayer to appear, and poof! Here’s the little slut. Just like magic.”


The blond couple came to a stop, both tensing, ready for action.


“Oh! And look at what she brought with her! Her vamp sex toy!” The brunette Slayer added mockingly. “Can I have him when we’re done with her?” She fluttered her eyelashes at Angelus.


“I don’t think it would…”


Spike decided that he had been silent for long enough and interrupted Angelus. “Do you plan to keep on yammering all night, or are we going to fight eventually? Get it over with so Buffy and I can go home and watch some telly?”


“Oh, I think when I’m done with you boy, telly will be the last thing on your mind.”


“What was I thinking! You’re right. The first thing on my mind will probably be shagging. Then telly.”


Buffy pouted flirtatiously at Spike. “Honey! How could you put me second after TV?” With her eyes, she indicated that she was going to take on Faith. Without waiting any longer, they attacked.


Spike threw himself full speed at his sire, while Buffy attacked Faith with a series of punches that the other Slayer blocked efficiently.


“So Faith, tell me, how was jail? Did you become somebody’s bitch?”


“It was five by five B. But..” she blocked another punch. “I was the one who had bitches. Slayer strength can be quite intimidating for mere mortals, no matter how tough they think they are.”


“I see you’re not cured of your God complex. And you’re into girls now?”


“I’m into pretty much anything as long as I get fun out of it. You should try. Maybe it would help you loosen up a little.”


Buffy paused, crouching to avoid a roundhouse kick and gave Faith a seductive smile. “Don’t take it the wrong way sweetie, I’m flattered, really. But I’m already getting all the sex I need right now, thank you very much.”


Spike would have commented on that if he hadn’t been stuck in a headlock. Jumping up, then dropping on his knees for momentum, he flipped Angelus over his head and flat on his back. Spike reached for his stake, but his sire managed to kick it out of his hand. Annoyed, Spike kicked Angelus in the ribs. But the other vampire was too quick and grabbed the blond’s foot, making him lose his balance. They struggled for dominance for a moment, then separated to get back on their feet, both in a fighting stance, waiting for the next blow.


Faith called out to Angelus. “Hey big guy! You were right. Our little Buffy became a real sex kitten. Such a surprise coming from our little miss pristine-I-have-a-stake-permanently-up-my-ass.”


Blocking Spike’s attacks, Angel snickered. “Yeah, that coming from the girl who won’t let me fuck her because boohoo, I don’t have a soul. What a shame.”


Spike roared and charged Angelus, but the older vampire managed to flip him over his head.


“What is it Angelus? Jealous?” Buffy asked, wiping the blood that was dripping down her face after Faith had rammed her head into a tree. “Jealous that you childe was good enough for me even when he didn’t have a soul, while I’d never have touched you in a million years?”


The distracting words almost caused Spike to get kicked in the face by his sire.


“I almost regret I didn’t insist Buff. Too bad I was too busy trying to end this pathetic world. But now that I know you like dead cocks…”


“Quite frankly dear,” Buffy threw Faith against a tombstone, almost breaking the girl’s back. “Depends who’s attached to it.”


Spike growled. “Buffy! Stop that… you’re gonna get me killed here!”


“Sorry babe. I’ll shut up now.”


But Angelus took the opportunity to grab Spike and smash his head in a tombstone hard enough to break his skull. He dropped his childe carelessly to the ground.


Buffy shrieked. “Spike!”


Faith seized her chance to pin the distracted Slayer’s arms behind her back, immobilizing her for Angelus.


Stalking like a giant evil cat, Angelus made his way slowly to the now powerless Slayer.


“What is it that you said Buff about dead cocks? Maybe I should fuck you before killing you…” He grabbed her face roughly with one hand, and she spat on him. He merely smiled. “On second thought, I don’t do used up hoes.”


He didn’t have the opportunity to insult her any further or to cause any physical damage. Spike, powered by his fear for the Slayer’s safety, found the strength to get up. Having no weapons around him, he picked up a headstone and smashed it over Angelus’ back. Not with enough strength to cause real damage, but enough to injure him and make Faith let go of Buffy who dropped to her knees.


Judging it would be safer to postpone the killing for later, Angelus started backing up. “Faith. Let’s go.”


Before Spike or Buffy could do anything about it, they were both gone into the night.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The front door to the Summers house opened, and the blond couple slowly made their way in, supporting each other. Cordelia jumped off the couch right away, a worried frown marring her face.


“Oh my god! Look at you two!… You look awful!”


Buffy gave her the finger.


“Well, on the bright side, you’re still alive.” She added, seeing Buffy’s reaction. “That’s good, right?”


Spike and Buffy dropped on the couch with painful groans and a ‘ouch’s. “Where’s the first aid kit?”


“Bathroom.” Buffy answered without opening her eyes, resting her head on Spike’s shoulder.


Cordelia came back quickly, putting the first aid kit down on the coffee table. She started getting some gauze out of the kit, wanting to help Buffy with her cuts, but Spike took over. So she sat in the armchair without a word and watched him with great curiosity.


She couldn’t believe just how much love there was in each one of his gestures. She couldn’t help but feel a little envious of them, but her demony sixth sense also told her that they had been through a very hard time before getting to where they were right now.


As soon as Spike was done with her, Buffy lay down on her side and fell asleep almost instantly. She was exhausted from the fight. Spike then started tending to his own cuts and bruises.


“You’ve changed a lot Spike.” Cordelia said quietly, not wanting to wake Buffy up.


“Humm?” He lifted his head wearily from what he was doing to look questioningly at her.


“It’s been what? Three years? Last time I’ve seen you, you were… different. You’re mind was set on one goal, and it was to…”


“Kill Buffy?” He suggested helpfully, a sad smile on his face.


“Yeah. That.”


He went back to wrapping some gauze around a nasty cut on his right arm, using his teeth to tie a knot. “You want to hear a funny thing ducks? I once told Angel that demons don’t change.” He cut the extra piece of gauze and set it down with the scissors on the coffee table. “Well I’m the living, or unliving, proof that I was wrong.”


“You changed because of Buffy?”


He gave the sleeping blonde a loving look. “She’d make any men crawl on their hands and knees. I know I did. But it was worth it.”


“Even the soul?”


“She told you?”


“No. I’m half demon now. I sensed it. So, was it worth it?”


“It’s painful, but in the end, it’s all worth it. At least now, I’m not struggling to make the right decision all the bloody time. I couldn’t kill anyway… the army put a chip in my head so I couldn’t bite. But I could still do evil or act selfishly. And sometimes, I’d think I was doing something good, then get my ass kicked for it and not understand why. Like this time I accepted to keep demon eggs in my basement for a lot of money. I thought I was doing something great because I wanted to use the money for Buffy. She was struggling. I just wanted to help her, so I thought that automatically made it a good action. But turned out not to be such a brilliant idea. Without a soul, it’s hard to make a judgment. I used Buffy most of the time, but it wasn’t enough. I’d get in front of a situation and think ‘what would Buffy do, what would she say, would she kick my ass for that?’ It was a constant struggle because what seems completely innocent to a demon, can be a big deal to a human, especially the Slayer.”


He touched the sleeping girl’s hair affectionately. “The day I hurt her, I finally understood. So I went to get the soul. I still think it was the best thing to do. I might be plagued by guilt and nightmares, but at least, I know I’ll never lose control again.”


“Wow.” Cordelia looked at her unmanicured fingernails. “I just wish Angelus would be more like you.” She mumbled darkly, not looking at Spike.


“Sorry cheerleader, Angelus getting his soul back on his freewill… that’s the least likely thing to ever happen.”


She finally looked up and gave him a half-smile. “Yes, I know.”


Spike got up and went to put his jacket in the closet, then came back to the couch to get Buffy.


“I had a vision today Spike.”


The vampire gave Cordy a worried look. “Anything bad? I mean, worse than what’s already going on?”


She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Not all my visions are bad you know. Once in a while, The Powers That Be give me a nice one to keep me from getting too depress and shooting myself in the head.”


“Ok. So… what was it then?” he asked curiously.


“You two are gonna be happy some day.”


Spike raised an eyebrow, almost insulted. “But we are happy.”


“I meant.. happier. I know you’re happy, but you’re a vampire, she’s human.. Things are not all gleefully perfect. But you will meet in the middle some time soon. Well, if the world isn’t sucked into Hell, of course. That goes without saying.”


“What did you see?”


“Hey, I’m not gonna tell you. What’s the fun in that?” They exchanged smiles, and Spike bent down to pick up the Slayer who was still asleep on the couch.


“Come on luv, time to go to bed now.”


Buffy put her arms around Spike’s neck sleepily, and Cordelia looked at them as they disappeared up the stairs.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Spike put Buffy carefully down on the bed, trying to push the covers with one hand while still holding her. Taking him by surprise, she grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down roughly on top of her, making him lose balance.


“Hey!”


Buffy laughed at the expression on his face.


“I thought you were asleep pet.”


“Was.” She said quietly before kissing him. “Where did you think your were going like this?”


He smiled down at her. “To take a shower. I thought you needed some sleep. You had quite a rough day as it is.”


She pouted. “I slept enough.”


“Really?” He asked curiously. “When was that?”


“I just did!”


“You slept for five minutes pet.”


“Mmmm” she mumbled, her hands already wandering over his hard muscles. “Plenty enough… top shape now.”


He chuckled softly, a low rumble in his chest, and gave her a lust filled look. “You are impossible Summers, you know that?”


“It’s an art. And one I’m really good at. Now, enough with the chatting, and more with the removing of the clothes.


Not about to argue, Spike threw himself into the task of undressing his Slayer. Slowly, one piece at a time, kissing every new body part revealed. Once she was completely naked, he tried to take her mouth, but she stopped him, immobilizing his head between her small hands. She showered his face with light kisses, his forehead, his nose, his sharp cheekbones, along is jaw. She stopped at his ear, and murmured into it:


“Were you turned on Spike… during the fight with Angelus and Faith?”


Spike moaned at the back of his throat.


“Were you turned on when I was saying these things? Knowing that Angelus was seething with jealousy? Knowing that I’m yours, not his?”


Spike’s voice was low and breathless. “I’ve never been that aroused in a hundred and twenty seven years of existence.”


“What would you do…” She sucked lustily on his earlobe before continuing. “What would you do to me if I’d tell you he’s standing at the window right now, watching us from the shadow? What would you want him to see…”


Spike smashed his lips to hers before answering, aroused beyond possible. “I’d want him to see me with my head between your legs, making you scream.”


With her hand tangled in his hair, she pulled his head away from her roughly and stared deeply into his eyes. Intense need was obvious in her beautiful hazel eyes. “Than stop talking and do it.”


Buffy opened her legs for him in invitation. Without anymore foreplay, Spike put his mouth to her hot, swollen sex and suck on her, making her gasp and arch off the mattress. She was already dripping wet, and he lapped greedily, making her shudder at the sensations he awoke in her burning hot body.


Incapable of lying still, she caressed herself. She ran her fingers lightly on her flat stomach, enjoying the feel of her own skin. Her hands traveled all the way to her warm, supple breasts, teasing her hard nipples, and ended their journey buried in Spike’s soft hair. She was holding him to her, marveling at the sensation of his cool lips on her flesh. Sensing that she was nearing her orgasm, he sucked mercilessly on her erect clit and she started unconsciously ridding his mouth. The idea of being watched, even if it was just a fantasy, acted on Buffy as an extreme turn on making her whimper and moan loudly.


Spike pushed three fingers inside of his lover and started pumping fast while circling her clit with the tip of his tongue. She cried out his name and he gave her one final suck to push her over the edge. She suddenly threw her head back, her mouth opened in a silent scream, her chest heaving. Spike climbed back up and lay on his side to look at her. She was a vision. With her golden hair all over the pillow, her eyes closed and her breast rising and falling with her slowing breath, she looked like that girl he had always wanted: the Buffy who was happy, carefree and thoroughly loved. She smiled and he kissed the tip of her nose lovingly.


“So luv, was the wanker really there?”


“Does it really matter?” Her voice was still dreamy. “It was fun to imagine he was. And even if he really was there, I don’t think he would have stayed for the show. Home porn starring The Slayer and her Vampire Lover?.. He probably had better things to do. People to terrorize, things to fuck…”


Spike chuckled and rolled to the other side of the bed to reach his pack of smokes on the nightstand. He swore when he realized it was empty and threw it in the garbage can next to the bed.


“Bloody Hell, I’m out of fags… Now I’ll have to wait until tomorrow night to go buy a new pack.”


“Nah, don’t worry. I’ll go buy you some. I have that strange craving for cookie dough ice cream anyway.”


“Forget it luv, it’s okay, I’ll survive until morning.”


Buffy crossed her arms behind her head, still far away in her mind.


“I wonder if Faith was with him… you know, watching. She has a thing for my boyfriends, now she’s gonna want you.” She said jokingly.


“Actually, she already does pet.”


Buffy sat up.


“What?”


“Yeah, she hit on me… Twice.”


She laughed derisively. “Whatever. She never even met you.”


“Hum.. yes she did.” Spike said hesitantly.


“What? When?..”


“…”


“That’s not possible.” She started thinking. “You left after the whole Angelus thing, then you came back a couple of months later. That was when you kidnapped Willow for a lame spell or whatever. You stayed only for one night then you left again. Faith wasn’t even in Sunnydale yet. Then you came back a year later for the stupid ring and Faith was in a coma… She got out of the coma, wrecked havoc on my life for a few days then she took off for L.A. When the hell did you meet her?!”


“I’ll tell you if you give me a chance to say a bloody word!”


“Sorry. Go ahead.”


“The first time I met her… well, actually it wasn’t her. I mean, it was her, but..”


Buffy shrieked. “Oh my god!! When she was in my body?!”


“Yeah. I was at the Bronze and I saw you. You… I mean she, pushed me against a wall and…”


“No! She did not! In public?! In my body? She had sex with you in public?”


Spike laughed. “Don’t get your knickers in a twist Slayer, nothing happened. You still have the exclusivity of the public sex at the Bronze.”


She smacked him. “You’re a pig!”


“She just teased me, then walked away, leaving me with a raging case of hard on.”


Buffy snorted. “That is so like her! What did she say?”


“Something about ridding me to a gallop, and Slayer’s muscles. Then she asked me if I knew why she wouldn’t do it, and she answered something like ‘because it’s wrong’ if I remember well. Actually, I do remember very well. It’s not every day that you have Buffy pushing you against a wall and telling you stuff like that you know. Well, at least not back then. And I already had a crush on you so…”


“So, is it true?”


“What’s that luv?”


“About the Slayer muscles?”


He gave her a wicked grin. “Never felt anything like it.”


Buffy shook her head and started getting up.


“Hey! Where are you going?”


“I still want that ice cream. And I’m sure you want your cigarettes. So I’m going to the convenience store.”


“But, I don’t want to get dressed and go out.”


“Oh my God Spike, stop whining. Just stay here, I’ll go by myself, I won’t be long. The store is five blocks away. I’ll take the SUV for once. It will take me fifteen minutes max and that includes choosing between cookie dough ice cream and cheese cake and cherry ice cream.”


“Fine. I’ll stay here and take a shower. But if you take more than fifteen minutes, I’ll start snooping through your stuff for future blackmail material.”


“Don’t you dare threatening me.”


She finished getting dressed under his loving gaze, then grabbed her purse.


“Buffy?.. Come here.”


She approached him and as soon as she was within reaching distance, he grabbed her and pulled her to him. He gave her a breath-taking kiss.

“I love you.”


Buffy smiled down at him. “Well, hold on to that thought cause when I come back, you’ll have to prove it to me.”


“Ok. Do you want me to give you chocolates?”


“Nah, they make me fat.”


“Flowers then?”


“Boring.”


“A good shag?”


She smiled brightly. “That’s the spirit!”


“You’re a perv Summers.”


“That would explain why we get along so well. I love you.”


She took her jacket from the back of a chair, and blew him a kiss. “I won’t be long, promise.” And she closed the door behind her.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The sound of Buffy’s high heels echoed in the empty night as she made her way back to her car. The parking of the 7 eleven was completely deserted and the orange light at the corner of the building gave it an eerie feeling. Buffy switched her bag from one hand to the other so she could unlock the driver’s door. She scolded herself for buying way too much useless stuff, but giggled a little at the thought of the Count Chocula cereals she couldn’t resist buying. Not to mention the two containers of ice cream because she hadn’t been able to decide which one she wanted.


*Spike is making me lose the minimal amount of maturity I had managed to accumulate over the years…* She shook her, head, lost in her thoughts.


“Turn.”


A feeling of helplessness invaded Buffy’s body as she dropped her bag and turned against her own will, her body not responding anymore.


She heard a sardonic laugh, and found herself face to face with Angelus, Faith, and another man.


* Crap*


The man Buffy didn’t know was the one who had spoken the command. She realized this must be one of the men who had paralyzed Dawn in the park the other day to give her the warning.


“You see, Faith? That’s the way I like my women: submissive, and with a complete lack of self-respect and pride. Gotta love the idea.”


The brunette snickered. “Yeah. A Slayer with a remote control. I must admit the idea has a certain charm.”


“Wanna try our new toy sweets?” Angelus turned to face the other man. “Larry my friend, you know what you have to do.”


The man said only one word. “Follow”


Before she even knew it, Buffy was putting one foot in front of the other, walking towards something that could only be her painful death.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Cordelia awoke to the sound of something seemingly tumbling down the stairs. She had fallen asleep in the armchair while watching TV. Not sure of what was going on, she blinked several times, looking around herself, a little confused. She finally spotted Spike at the front door, trying to put on his jacket and his boots simultaneously.


“Spike? What are you doing? What’s going on?”


“It’s Buffy. She’s missing.” He answered, finally managing to put on his boots.


“But… Wasn’t she with you? I don’t get it. What do you mean, missing.”


“She went out to get something at the store. She was supposed to be gone for fifteen minutes. It’s been an hour and she isn’t coming back.”


“You think Angelus…”


“I’m gonna go look for her. You call everybody and tell them to be here in fifteen minutes. The numbers are next to the phone in the kitchen.”


Before Cordelia could answer anything, the front door was slammed shut behind Spike.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Spike saw the SUV in the 7 eleven’s parking, dread filling his undead heart. He walked quickly up to the car but stopped dead in his tracks, his worse fear realized. The SUV door was cracked open, key still in the door lock, and there was a grocery bag abandoned on the ground, melting ice cream slowly leaking out of it.


In three long strides, Spike was inside the convenience store.


“Hey, you,” he walked toward the clerk “Did you see a pretty blonde bird, bout this height” he gestured with his hand “hazel eyes, wearing blue jeans, a lace top and a leather jacket?”


The clerk didn’t take his eyes off his magazine. “Sorry man, dunno what you talkin’ bout.”


Spike hoped the chip wasn’t gonna go off when he grabbed the kid by his shirt.


“Well you’re gonna have to think real hard cause her car is outside your store and there’s a grocery bag from this store abandoned on the pavement next to the bloody car. So think hard mate if you don’t want them to find your guts all the way to L.A.”


“Hey man! Relax, k? No need to get all violent and stuff. I’m just doing my god damn job. I don’t want any trouble. If a girl talks to people and leave with them… what am I supposed to do? Call the cops and get shit later for doing it? They could have been her friends for all I know.”


Spike let go of the guy’s shirt. “Look mate, it’s important. She could be in trouble right now. What did you see.”


“She walked out of here about an hour ago. Those two guys and a girl walked up to her and she turned around very slowly. Was weird man. Dunno… like she didn’t really want to turn or she was dreading what she would see. Then that tall guy talked to her. He looked aggressive, but like he was making fun of her at the same time.”


“Why were you paying attention?”


The guy snickered. “Hey she was hot, and I’m pretty bored here..”

Spike growled. “Watch it mate, it’s my girl you’re talking about. Continue.”


“Whoa, sorry. Anyway, so the girl looked pretty freaked out, but she followed them. She kept looking my way while following them, but what was I going to do, right? So I watched until they disappeared into the night.” He stopped for a second. “Hey, don’t look at me like that! They didn’t have a gun or anything. They didn’t even touch her! Was I gonna call the cops and tell them a girl left with a bunch of people?? C’mon! They’d think I’m dumb.”


“Thanks anyway.” Spike mumbled as he walked away.


He was long gone when the clerk finally answered. “Anytime dude, anytime.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


When he walked into the Summers house after parking the car in the driveway, Spike was faced with a very anxious bunch of people. Everybody was there, including Dawn. He couldn’t even look at the girl.


Cordelia stated the obvious, in a low, shaky voice but no one dared commenting.


“She’s not with you…”


He threw Buffy’s purse on the table.


“No. I think she’s not.”


Seeing Dawn’s eyes starting to fill with tears, he added quickly: “But I’ll go get her Nibblet. Don’t worry.”


She just nodded.


“Giles, you and Anya are gonna cruise the downtown area. Harris and Willow, cemeteries and the docks. Cordelia and Dawn, you stay here and are responsible for the phone, and in case Buffy comes back. We all have a cellphone?”


They all nodded their heads in silence, scared to say anything that could upset the vampire any further.


“Good. I’ll take Buffy’s phone and we all report every fifteen minutes. I’ll go first to the old mansion. Angelus is pretty thick. There could be a chance he took her there. Then I’ll go to all the hot spots, and when the sun comes up, I’ll check the sewers. I’m not gonna come back until I find her, dead or alive.”


“Spike…” Giles started. But the blond vampire was already out the door.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


She walked into the house through the kitchen door and set her grocery bag on the table. Everything was quiet. She chuckled quietly while putting away the cereals thinking of Spike’s face when she’d put the box on the table for breakfast. Opening the ice cream containers, she served herself a small scoop of both flavors, not wanting to chose which one she wanted most, than made her way back upstairs. Seeing Cordelia asleep on the armchair when she walked by the living room, she went to wake the girl up.


“Wanna go upstairs? There is two warm beds waiting for us.”


Cordy stretched and got up.


“But don’t pick the wrong one cause you might be greeted by a horny naked vampire.”


Cordelia chuckled. “Yeah, I figured that much.”


“Good night Cordy.”


“Night Buff.”


She watched as Cordelia disappeared up the stairs, then she switched off the TV and turned the lights off. She suddenly couldn’t wait to get some well deserved sleep in her lover’s embrace so she hurried up to her room.


Buffy walked into the bedroom and found Spike fast asleep, lying on his stomach. He was completely naked and hadn’t bothered to cover himself up. She smiled. Ice cream didn’t seem so important anymore, so she put the boll down on her dresser with the cigarettes and striped off of her clothes. With a yawn, she lay down next to Spike, feeling strangely exhausted for some reason. Buffy put her arms around his cool body and brought him close to her, trying not to wake him. He stirred in his sleep, but didn’t open his eyes. After being still for a moment, Spike started caressing Buffy’s stomach, his hand going slowly up and down her torso, barely touching her smooth skin.


She sighed at the comforting feeling, her eyes closed in contentment. She felt safe, loved, and happy. She felt him shifting on the bed, bringing himself up on his elbow to look at her. But when Buffy opened her eyes to tell him she loved him, instead of warm blue eyes, she was met with ice cold brown ones. She opened her mouth to say the name but an excruciating pain washed through her as the hand that had been lovingly caressing her, was now slowly cutting through her skin from the middle of her chest to her lower stomach.


She screamed.


“Wakey wakey Slayer! Time for fun and games!” Angelus was standing in front of a half naked Buffy, the girl hanging from the ceiling by shackles, her bare feet barely touching the cold floor. He was licking blood from a Swiss army knife. “You see Faith, I told you they weren’t lying. Those Swiss army knives really are quite handy. You just have to know how to use them.”


The brunette Slayer didn’t bother answering him. Sitting next to the fireplace, she just gave him her best wicked smile, and went back to her book.


“Now Buff, I knew you were not a light sleeper, but that’s pushing it a little. Look. I had time to draw such pretty patterns on you. Did you ever consider piercings?”


The look on his face made her quiver with fear, but she did her best to hide it, concentrating on slowing down her breathing to prepare for the pain to come.


“I hope you did sweetheart cause when I’m done with you, there will be holes in every part of your body.”


He grabbed a bottle of whiskey and gave her a sickly sweet smile.


“Sounds like fun.” she said defiantly.


“Excuse me?”


“I said. Sounds. Like. Fun. Asshole.”


*Buffy, shut the fuck up you idiot*


Angelus walked towards her like a predator. “Oh it will be. Hours of fun. Maybe days of fun. ”


He poured whiskey down her torso, making her hiss in pain, before licking the mix of blood and alcohol off her skin. “And I can make it last forever if I want to. I know just how to keep my toys alive for a very long painful time.”


Her pride rebelling, the Slayer in her just couldn’t stop herself from defying him. “Is that all you’ve got? I must say I’m not impressed.”


“Don’t be too disappointed Buff. You have seen nothing yet. I have the whole nine yard deployed just for you. My favorite Slayer deserves the VIP treatment.”


He went to the fireplace where the instruments usually used to tease the fire or move the logs were now heating up in the fire. Wrapping his hand in a cloth, he picked up one of the picks and studied it carefully. Like a connoisseur would a very rare and fine piece of art.


“No. That’s not all I’ve got.” He said, seemingly talking to himself.


Then he turned to Buffy with a proud smile. “I’ve also got some red hot steel… “ He pointed at a table that Buffy hadn’t noticed yet. On it, she could see what looked like a surgeon’s brief case. “And other interesting gadgets.”


Buffy’s scream echoed into the night as the burning pick pierced through her shoulder. But there was no one there to hear her, except a psychotic vampire and a seemingly indifferent Slayer.


She was in for a long night.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CHAPTER 5: Lean on me, part 1



He couldn’t think. Couldn’t close his eyes for a second. Because every time he did, he would see it again. Buffy’s broken body on a pile of concrete. Sometimes, the image was replaced with her drained body, lying lifeless at Angelus’ feet. Or tortured to death, every bones in her body broken, her beautiful eyes staring blankly at him in accusation. No, he couldn’t think. While he was keeping himself busy, figuring out where Angelus could hide her, calling Dawn for updates, calling the others to make sure they didn’t find anything, making plans, he didn’t have time to imagine things like that. He knew pretty well that if he stopped for a second, he would break down and wouldn’t get up again. Then he’d be useless to her. So he let the rage replace the dread and fear in his heart, and he kept searching for her, thinking of what he would do to Angelus when he’d find them.


She had been gone for twelve hours now. Twelve hours of searching without any result. Spike was now going through the sewers, waiting for the sun to set. He knew he wouldn’t find her there, but he hoped to stumble across some lonely demon he could beat to a bloody pulp to get information.


So far, he had raided the old mansion and found nothing but dust and spider webs. Faith’s apartment had been cleared out completely. They had been there, he could smell the human presence, but they were long gone now. Same shit at the old factory. And the Bronze had been a complete waste of time. Then, the sun had came up and he had to duck into the nearest sewer entrance. Around noon, he had called the others and told them to go get a few hours of sleep. They wouldn’t be of any help if they’d pass out from exhaustion. While they were sleeping, Red was going to try a few more locator spells after the first one failed miserably.


Spike almost jumped out of his skin when the cellphone rang, splashing dirty water everywhere. He swore under his breath.


His voice was tensed when he answered. “Yes.”


“Spike, it’s Willow.”


“What is it Red.”


“I just wanted to let you know that I tried every locator spells I know, and some I don’t know, and there is no use. There seems to be magic involved. It’s blocking all me efforts. Even if… even if s-something happened to her, I-I should still be able to locate her.”


“It’s fine. Thanks for trying. But if you can, try to find what kind of spell is blocking you and see if you can work around it, or find out where it’s coming from.”


“Yeah, I can do that. Of course.”


“And could you wake the wankers? They’ve been sleeping for almost four hours now. We need them. I’m still stuck down here for another two hours and obviously, it’s not getting me anywhere near finding Buffy.”


“Sure…”


“And one last thing. Try to find anything you can about mind control. I have good reasons to think Angelus and Faith have a few guys who can pull off that kind of mojo in their league. We need to protect ourselves against that if we want to be able to fight what’s coming.”


“Sure. I’m on it.”


“…”


“Spike?.. Hello?”


The redhead shook her head sadly and turned the cellphone off.


* Please Goddess, let him find her soon, and alive, before he breaks down *


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


“I’m so disappointed in you Buff!” Angelus grabbed the face of the beaten up girl roughly with one hand to force her to look up. “You’ve been out for at least twenty minutes after the last round.” He snickered with contempt. “And she calls herself a Slayer.”


He slowly licked the blood dripping on the side of her face from a head injury. “Funny. I was expecting you to black out after the hot poker piercing through your guts, not after a broken knee. Broken knee?! You’re so pathetic Buff. I thought you were much tougher than that.” He gave her a nasty smile. “Let’s toughen you up a little, shall we.”


He took a swing at her and smashed his fist into her jaw. Her head snapped back with the impact, but no sounds of pain came out of her. She spat blood in his face and just smiled.


Angelus wiped the blood from his face furiously, then took a good look at the girl.


“Jesus fucking Christ! You still think he will come to rescue you, don’t you! Buffy, we are in the middle of fucking nowhere. No one will come for you here. Neither your friends, nor your soulful Superman with fangs. There is no option for you little girl. That is all there is, pain, followed by death. That is the story of your future, and of your ending. There is nothing else to it. No: “And they lived happily ever after”. That’s for fairytales. The end of your book is much different. It sounds more like: “And she died lonely and in pain.” Now that’s a book I would read!”


Buffy tried to speak, and Angelus had to get closer to hear what she was saying, her voice low and cut with ragged, painful, breath. “Are you… ever.. tired of… hearing yourself talking?”


He just looked at her straight in the eyes, then pulled the poker out of her body, making her howl in pain.


“No. Never.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Eleven O’clock. In less than four hours, it would be twenty-four hours. Spike knew that the more hours passed, the less chances he had to find Buffy alive. Yes, Angelus loved to play with his preys, but how long would he keep her alive?


The blond vampire left the dock area empty-handed. He had been through every hangar, but found nothing. Another waste of his precious time. Now he’d had it. He walked quickly through the familiar streets of Sunnydale, his steps echoing into the empty night. He was heading to an equally familiar place.


Sure, Giles had said he got everything possible out of Willie, but Spike decided that maybe the old man hadn’t been convincing enough.


Going through the alley, Spike opened the back door and went straight for the bartender. Grabbing Willie by the throat, he dragged the short man to the back room and threw him into one of those industrial size refrigerators. He had to be careful not to hurt him to avoid setting off the chip. Spike walked right to him in a threatening way and the little man tried to protect himself from the attack by raising his arms to his head, forgetting that Spike couldn’t really hurt him.


“Have you completely lost your mind?! I don’t know anything! Leave me alone!”


Ignoring Willie’s pleas, Spike grabbed Willie by the throat again, and lifted him off the floor, almost choking him. The chip gave a warning, but Spike ignored it.


“I want to know everything you know about the Slayer’s disappearance. And if you don’t know anything, I would suggest you to come up with something fast before I kill you. And it won’t be a quick death. Believe me, I’m mentally prepared to endure the pain in my brain. I’m planning on chopping you into little pieces and…”


“Arhmeemhuhhhggrlll”


“What’s that?”


Willie motioned to his throat.


“Oh. Yeah, right. Sorry mate, guess you need air to talk.”


“I don’t know anything. But those two guys sitting at the bar? They do. I know you won’t believe me, but I was about to call Giles to let him know. Believe what you want, but I do like that little Slayer and I have a thing or two against Angelus. There was no need for violence.” Willie added, massaging his painful throat. “Those guys, I heard them mentioning Angelus and controlling the Slayer.”


Spike turned to leave. “Thanks mate, sorry bout that.”


“Spike! Wait!”


He stopped at the back room door and turned to Willie.


“Those guys are mind controllers. That’s their thing. They are a half-breed, like vampires, so they look human but they have that power to play with your brain and make you do whatever they want. You have to be careful and take them by surprise. And if they talk, let your mind go blank. They can only do their mojo if you are unaware.”


“I’ll keep that in mind.”


Leaving Willie behind, Spike walked straight to where the two guys were sitting at the bar. Without a moment of hesitation, Spike grabbed both their heads and knocked them together, effectively rending them unconscious. Taking one of the two guys under his arms, he dragged him out under the curious looks of Willie’s customers.


“Night everyone, hope you enjoy your evening!”


When Spike judged that they were far enough, he dropped the guy to the ground and kicked him in the ribs.


“Wake up nasty little bugger, time to spill the beans and tell uncle Spike what you did with his girlfriend.”


The man groaned in pain than slowly turned himself on his back to look at Spike. When his eyes started glowing, Spike blocked any thoughts from his mind. Grabbing the axe he was carrying on his back, he swung it at the man’s wrist. The man screamed in pain, holding his bloody limb to his chest.


“Every time you try to use you’re hocus pocus on me mate, you lose a piece. Understood?”


The guy nodded and cast his eyes down.


“What’s you’re name wanker?”


“Why does it matter?”


Spike crouched in front of him, and punched him in the face. “I’m the one asking questions. And it bloody matters because I usually like to know the name of the people I’m torturing for information. Just a formality, really.”


“I’m Larriorus.”


“Good. Now Larry, you and I are gonna get along just fine if you tell me in details what you did last night between two and three am.”


“Was watching TV…”


Spike slammed the head of the axe in Larry’s stomach and he doubled in pain.


“Wrong answer mate.” He grabbed Larry by his shirt and made him stand up, slamming his back against the brick wall. “But then again, maybe my question wasn’t specific enough. What the fuck did you do with my Slayer? If you want to keep your other hand, you should think twice about giving me some smart-ass answer. And remember, I can keep you alive for a very long time. Angelus is the one who taught me the art of torture.”


Larry, despite being half demon, was not a very courageous one. Shaking in fear, scared to use his power and lose another limb… maybe something more important than a hand, he gave in.


“In the woods!! She’s in the woods with Angelus and the other Slayer! Now let me go, please, let me go…”


“Whoa, not so fast mate. Where in the woods?”


“When… when you go to the end of St Peter’s park, you can enter the woods there. You walk about four miles north, and you should find an old abandoned house. That’s where he keeps her. But… she’s probably dead by now buddy.”


“I’d pray for her to be alive if I were you my friend. Cause if she isn’t, You die too. Let’s go.”


“What? But I told you what I know! You’re supposed to leave me alone now. Why aren’t you leaving me alone?”


“Because I’m not as thick as you seem to think I am. If the information you gave me is wrong, if Buffy is not there, you will beg me to kill you, believe me. Let’s go, we don’t have time to waste.” He grabbed Larry’s jacket and pulled him along with him.


“And don’t you try anything funny. Or you will find out why they call me William the Bloody.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dawn and Cordelia were sitting in the kitchen, facing each other. Neither of them was talking. They glanced at the clock regularly, then at the phone. It was midnight, and the waiting was getting to be too much for their nerves.


Hearing the kettle whistling, Cordelia jumped to her feet, glad to finally find something to do with herself. She prepared a tea for herself, and a hot chocolate for Dawn. But she dropped both cups when she was hit by a vision.


Startled, Dawn shrieked. “Cordelia! Are you ok? What’s going on?”


Slowly coming back, Cordelia’s eyes filled up with tears. “Oh God… Buffy.”


Panicked about her sister’s fate, Dawn shook Cordelia roughly. “What? What did you see?! Is she alive? Cordelia! Answer! Is she alive?”


Wiping the tears from her face, Cordy took a deep breath. “Yes. She’s still alive. I don’t know for how long though. She’s… not in the best of shape. She looked pretty bad. They have to find her now.”


Dawn started crying for her sister. Cordelia pulled her into her arms. “Shh honey, it’s gonna be alright. Spike will find her. I’m sure he will. He’ll get her back for you.”


“What… what else did you see?”


“Just feelings honey. Nothing concrete. Just that the fate of the world depends on a vampire in love, and the decision of a very fragile and unstable girl. At the last minute, it will all come down to that. Which side she chooses.”


“You mean… Faith?”


“Yeah.”


Dawn hung her head low. “We’re so screwed.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CHAPTER 5: Lean on me, part 2


Faith was woken by Buffy’s screams. Again. She tried to put a pillow over her head to block the god-awful sounds, but nothing would do. She had never been that disgusted with herself in her entire life. Sure, while in jail, she dreamt of killing Buffy almost every night. That’s what had kept her alive. But she fantasized about a clean fight. A winner, a loser. May the best Slayer win. Not this. But the worse part was to realize that you are a coward. Preferring to hide and loathe yourself rather than standing up for what you believe is right.


*But then again, that pretty much sums up my whole fucking life* Faith thought bitterly. *Always favored my safety to my true self. Choosing the safe side, no matter how wrong it is. Letting jealousy and anger control my actions. Yep, that’s me alright. Faith, the failure. Faith, the screw up. Hopeless Faith. Worthless Faith. Then I spend hours in bed wondering why nobody ever believed in me.*


She put the pillow back over her head.


“Screw them!”


But after a few more gut wrenching screams, she got up with a sigh. “Fuck that. Let’s get the hell out of here before I lose my mind.”


Walking into the living room section of the old decrepit house, Faith looked around her. Spotting what she was looking for on the table, she walked to it, and just sat nonchalantly on the table. Looking as natural as she could.


“Finally decided to join the fun my sweet?”


“Hum, yeah, I guess.” She yawned, hiding her mouth behind her hand, then put her hand back down on the table, and over the keys for Buffy’s shackles.


Angelus grinned happily. “I knew you would come around. Let me get something from my bag, I’m sure you’ll like it.”


He went to the other end of the room and Faith took the opportunity to get closer from Buffy. She pretended to examine her, then dropped the keys by Buffy’s right foot. The girl automatically stepped on it to hide it from Angelus.


Faith looked at her in the eyes, and murmured: “Good luck.” Than she turned around to face Angelus, a bored look on her face.


“You know what? Forget it. I’m bored out of my fucking mind. I’m out of here. Thought we were supposed to kill the girl, not torture her for days. This is getting real old real fast.”


Angelus’ face fell comically. “But… I don’t think you understand torture Slayer. It’s half the fun. It’s like sex. Torture is like the foreplay of killing. The longer the foreplay, the better the orgasm.”


“Whatever. Have a really good orgasm Angelus, personally, I have more important things to do. I have to prepare for the ritual. It will be tomorrow night, and I’d like to be ready.”


Faith locked eyes with Buffy for a second to make sure the girl was listening.


“You two have fun. Just don’t wake the neighbors.”


“Fine. Whatever. Go practice your stupid ritual. You already know it by heart anyway you stupid bitch. While you do that, Buff and I will have some more fun together before I slice her throat and drain her.”


But Faith was already out the door.


“Well, that leaves you and I honey. You’re not a big talker, but I’m sure we’ll manage to find something to keep us entertained anyway. Or you could just scream if you’d prefer. You seem to be quite good at that.”


Buffy didn’t answer, concentrating on slowing down her breathing to save her energy for what was to come.


Angelus moved a few things around, then sighed. “I’m feeling a bit peckish. With all that blood smell and all. What do you say we take a bloodbreak? I know you can’t wait for what’s coming next, but I work better on a full stomach. I’ll be right back sweetie.” With that, he left the room.


Not sure how long she had, Buffy decided to act fast. Taking a deep breath and bracing herself against the pain that would without any doubt follow, she kicked her legs up above her head, trying to get the key she was holding between her toes. There was not word to describe the pain in her left knee, in her ribs and her torso. She fought against the darkness that threatened to engulf her, and the scream that wanted to come out of her mouth. She got a hold on the key, and trying to will her numb fingers not to drop it, she started working on the lock. After a few unsuccessful tries, she finally managed to get it open and she dropped limply to the floor.


Buffy held back a sob when she realized just how far she had to go, and that Angelus would probably catch her before she could even make it to the door. She was not even sure if she would have enough strength to make it there, more or less to fight him if he came back. She was now crying uncontrollably at the hopelessness of her situation, understanding that she would die soon and her efforts had been for nothing.


She was just about to give up and pass out when she felt something warm and soft enveloping her, and arms lifting her off the ground. She let out a long agonizing moan at the pain ripping through her body. When the pain calmed down enough for her to be able to breathe again, she tried to open her eyes to see what was going on.


“It’s ok luv, I’ve got you.”


Buffy managed to smile. “I told him you would come for me.” Then she let herself drown into the darkness.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The phone rang. Spike hadn’t called in more than an hour and Dawn was worried sick. She ran to answer it.


“Spike?”


“Niblet, you and Cordelia jump in a cab and meet me at Santa Maria hospital. Be there as fast as you can, and bring some of Buffy’s stuff. I found her. Hurry.”


Dawn’s heart beat wildly in her chest.


“We’re on our way.”


“Oh, and call the others too, I don’t have time.”


“I’ll put Cordelia on it while I pack Buffy’s stuff.” Dawn hesitated for a moment, scared of the answer. “Spike?… Will she be alright?”


“I don’t know Dawny. I hope so. Sorry, I have to go, the doc is here.”


And they both hung up.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


When the gang walked into the hospital room, their hearts sank in at the sight of the empty bed and Spike sitting in the armchair, his head in his hands. But the nurse who ushered them in clarified the situation.


“Miss Summers is in the surgery room right now. The doctor is trying to stop some internal bleeding. She should be back in about two hours, but you won’t be allowed to stay.”


Giles thanked the nurse, and Dawn pushed past them to run to Spike. They hugged in silence for a while then he let go of her.


Giles finally managed to talk. “How was she… what happened?”


“Not well. The wanker got her real bad. He tortured her. Lots of nasty burns and cuts. He stabbed her many times too. She seemed to have a head injury and I don’t think she’ll be able to use her left leg for a while. He knew what he was doing and obviously, he planed on keeping her alive a lot longer. Which is probably why she still has a chance. The doctors are trying to assess the damages as we speak and fix what they can fix. Hopefully she’ll heal fast enough. But she was in so much pain…” his voice broke.


“How did you find her?” Xander asked in a shaky voice.


“Beat the shit out of some pillock who did mind controlling mojo on her. He cried like a baby and brought me straight to the house in the woods where Angelus had her.”


“Was that the guy who paralyzed me in the park the other day?” Dawn asked.


“Yeah little bit, I think so. Thank God they didn’t use it to hurt you. I also think that’s how they got people to work on the Hellmouth.”


Willow sat on one of the plastic chairs by the window, her hands between her knees. “That would explain it. Why else would all these people decide to spend their evening working on the rubbles? How come it didn’t work on you Spike?”


The vampire rubbed his eyes wearily before answering. “Willie warned me. When the bloke tried to use his power…” he glanced at Dawn before continuing “I chopped off his right hand. He decided it was safer not to try anything else if he wanted to keep the rest of his limbs intact.”


"Would you say that guy was human or demon?" Anya asked. "Because there's many different type of demon who can pull that off. Ciscar demons don't have that power from birth, but they often learn how to do it. And I met that Lyrr demon seven hundred years ago who..."


"Some kind of halfbreed. Like vampires. He looked human."


"Oh. I see. That's probably a Peehry demon then. Very common in Russia and Western Europe but I never met one in North America. Probably imported by Wolfram&Hart. They're clever." Anya added, a hint of admiration in her voice.


“Is he still on the loose?” Giles sat on the bed facing Spike.


“No. But he wasn’t alone, and I didn’t get the other guy. Besides, there could be more of these bloody wankers running around Sunnydale for all I know. They could creep up on us at anytime. Since they look human, no one will get suspicious until it’s too late. If you know what’s happening, it’s fairly easy to block any thoughts from your brain so they can’t control you. But it’s risky because you don’t need to be looking at them for it to work. They can just come from behind and then it would be too late. So we need some kind of spell to block them out. The fight could be lost in advance if we don’t protect ourselves against that threat.”


Giles sighed. “I agree with you completely. Willow? Do you think…”


“I already started to research it.” At Giles’ surprised look she explained. “Spike already asked me to look into it earlier today.”


Giles shook his head and wondered why he was surprised. **This is the Spike who used to make plans, give orders and control a bunch of minions.** He shivered slightly at the thought. **If he hadn’t been so distracted with Drusilla’s health back then, we would probably all be dead today**. But Giles knew that this was a different Spike he was faced with now. He also realized that taking control of things was what kept the vampire from crumbling down.


“Please continue Willow. Did you find anything relevant?”


“Well… yes and no. Sure I found pretty efficient spells, but they put you in a trance. Which isn’t the best thing if you are in the middle of an apocalyptic fight. But just before Cordelia called to tell us Buffy was here, I was just getting into some spells to strengthen your control over your own mind. That could work I think.”


“You think or you’re sure Red? This is vital to the issue of the fight.”


“I would need to look deeper into it before answering. I need to double-check every details of the spell to make sure it won’t backfire on us. But I brought the book with me.”


Spike smiled slightly. “Good thinking.” He turned to Xander who had kept quiet for once. “Harris, I know you want to see Buffy, but later on, I would need you to go home and gather all the weapons and put them in the trunk of your car. I have a feeling the showdown is coming sooner than we think. Might as well have everything we need with us. Willow, you’ll go with him and get all the magical supplies you think you might need for every eventualities.”


“Yes sergeant.” Xander answered with a half smile.


Spike just rolled his eyes at him, but the usual tension between them was gone and replaced by some kind of understanding.


When all was said and done, all that was left was the waiting. Spike went back to his initial position, with his head in his hands, Dawn sitting on the armrest next to him. Cordelia was standing next to them, petting Dawn's long hair comfortingly. Xander played nervously with everything he could find, with Anya patting his back awkwardly and Giles glaring at them periodically while Willow looked through her book. They all looked at the clock every three minutes or so.


The doctor finally entered the room two and a half-hour later, alone. Spike tried to swallow, but it tasted like hashes. He stood up.


“Mr. Summers? May I have a word with you in private?”


It took a while for Spike to remember that he was supposed to be Mr. Summers, and a few more seconds to be able to answer him. “Whatever it is you have to say, you can say it in front of these people. They are family.”


“As you wish sir. Ms. Summers is in the recovery room as we speak. The surgery took longer because we had to be careful with her ribs. The way they were broken, they could have pierced her lungs. There were no real hemorrhages. Well, nothing to be alarmed of anyway. Seems like she was stabbed with something really hot because the flesh was cauterized. That’s why she didn’t bleed herself to death. I’m fairly certain she will recover, but she will need surgery for her left knee if she wants to be able to use her leg again. If we let it heal like that, chances are she’ll never be able to bend that knee again. So we’ll let her recover until Friday morning, then we’ll fix that knee.”


“But… she’s ok, right?.. She’s not gonna die, is she?” Spike asked, not sure of what to make of the doctor's words.


The doctor smiled comfortingly. “We’ll keep her under close observation for the next twenty-four hours, but she seems to be a strong girl. I think she’s out of danger. Now, she’s been in and out of consciousness in the recovery room, even said a few words, so it’s time to get her back here. I’ll ask you to leave, she needs to rest. You can go home, or stay in the waiting room if you wish.” With this, the doctor turned and left.


Spike let himself back down in the armchair. With all the emotion, he could swear his heart was beating.


* She’s all right… She’s all right… She’s not gonna die…* Giles got up. He cleared his throat when he saw that nobody was moving. “I think.. We should listen to the doctor and let Buffy rest. Now that we know she’ll be fine, we can come back in the morning.”


They all started walking towards the door reluctantly, except for Spike and Dawn. Giles stopped to look at Spike. “You have no intention on leaving the room, do you.”


“They’ll have to fucking drag me out of here by my hair, and possibly stake me.”


“Please don’t make a scene.”


“I’m not leaving her alone again.”


“Good lord you can be stubborn. You’re worst than she is.”


Two nurses walked in pushing a stretcher. Willow gasped and grabbed Cordelia’s hand at the sigh of Buffy’s face. The entire right side was black and blue and there was still some dried blood in her blonde hair. Cordelia put her arm around Willow’s shoulders, and led her out of the room. Xander followed them. Giles wanted to stay a little longer to make sure they would leave Spike alone--or that the vampire wouldn't kill a nurse who would try to get him to leave.


The two nurses grabbed each their corners of the sheet under Buffy and switched her from the stretcher to the bed in one quick motion. A soft moan escaped Buffy’s lips and Spike was by her side at vampiric speed.


She opened her eyes and blinked, looking around herself wildly until she finally saw him. “Spike?…”


He took her hand and squeezed it lightly. “It’s ok luv, I’m here. You’re safe now.”


She blinked back tears and closed her eyes to sleep.


“Sir? You have to leave now.”


“…”


“The doctor’s order was that…”


“Sod off. I’m not going anywhere.”


Giles took Spike’s arm and tried to pull him away, but at the loss of his hand, Buffy opened wide, panicked, eyes. “Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me alone! Please…”


Spike broke Giles’ hold on his arm, and pulling a chair, he sat next to Buffy’s bed and took her hand again. “I’m not leaving you.”


She automatically calmed down, and closed her eyes again. Not wanting to fight, the nurses left the room, followed by Giles and Dawn.


When the doctor came back an hour later and saw his patient asleep with the blonde man sitting next to her, he tried again, with the same results. As soon as Buffy heard the request for Spike to leave the room, she opened her eyes again and squeezed his hand so hard that she almost broke all his bones. Spike barely frowned.


The doctor looked at the scene, horrified. “Jesus Christ! Are you all right? She’s strong. Let me take a look at your hand, this must hurt…”


“Not nearly as much as she’s hurting.” Spike answered through clenched teeth.


Mouth still gapping, the doctor shook his head, and seeing that his patient went back to sleep, decided that he might as well let it be.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CHAPTER 5: Lean on me, part 3


Faith was just turning around when she found herself violently slammed against the wall by an out of control vampire in full game face.


“You let her go you fucking dead bitch! How could you let her go!?”


“Whoa big boy, back off and calm down. Matter of semantic really. A choice of words. You say ‘let go’ but I’d rather say that I merely added a variant into the equation. Made things more exciting. I just wanted to see if a half-dead girl, who had been through hours of torture, could manage to get a key from the floor to her hands locked above her head and escape. Scientific experiment, nothing else.” She gave Angelus her sweetest smile.


“I’m gonna rip your head off you stupid cow…”


“Hey! Is it my fault if even half-dead, Buffy still bested you? Face it Angelus, you’re pathetic…”


Angelus got yanked away from Faith just as he was about to rip her throat open with his fangs.


“Enough! Will you two stop acting like kids? Could you try to see the bigger picture instead of focusing on your own little personal issues?” Lilah looked positively furious. “God damn it! The ritual is tomorrow night, can’t it wait? You’ll have eternity to make the little bitch pay for whatever the hell it is she’s supposed to pay for. Grow up already.”


The Slayer and Angelus glared at each other with daggers in their eyes. He growled threateningly and walked away leaving the two women together.


“Enough games Faith.”


“Games? What the Hell are you talking about? I’m not the one playing games, it’s that stupid dumb ass who can’t…”


“Enough!” Lilah took a deep breath to calm herself down before she would lose control and finish what Angelus had started. “Are you ready for tomorrow night?”


“Sure. Do I look dumb? How hard is it? Put black robe on, chant, chant, bla, bla, chant, bla, big blast of evil energy going through me, than the underworld belongs to us. Well, to be more specific, to me.”


“I’m not kidding Faith. There is no rehearsal. No second chance. You must know all the words by heart and be ready not to let anything interrupt you. We’re gonna have people guarding the perimeter, but you never know what could happen. Do you understand? If they find out the ritual is tomorrow and try to interrupt it, we’ll do anything possible to keep them away from you, but if one of them comes too close, you must keep chanting no matter what. Are you ready?”


Faith remained silent for a moment, then nodded.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


It was late morning, and Spike was asleep with his head on the pillow next to Buffy’s, his hand holding hers.


She'd woken up in pain twice during the night, and Spike had nearly dragged the nurse to the room so she would give her something against the pain. They probably thought he was a psycho, over protective, boyfriend, but there was no way in Hell he was gonna let her feel anymore pain after what she went through already.


She’d had nightmares, trashing in her sleep, and he'd stayed awake to comfort her the best he could. But as soon as she seemed more peaceful, he let go and fell asleep, completely exhausted physically and mentally.


Giles had come into the room just before sunrise and shut the curtains to make sure Spike wouldn’t wake up in flames. After checking on them, he'd gone back to the waiting room where the Scoobies were sound asleep in uncomfortable plastic chairs.


Buffy slowly woke up, trying to remember where she was and what happened. She regretted it when the memories came flowing back. She closed her eyes tightly to hold back the tears. She had always been the tough one, the strong one, created to endure pain, and being weak was not something Buffy Summers had an easy time dealing with. The entire time it had lasted, it wasn’t the pain that was wearing her down, it was the fact that the pain was too much for her to bear.


She had been weak, and she hated every second of it. That, and the loneliness. The feeling of loneliness never get any stronger than when you are in pain. Because you are alone in it. It’s already hard enough when you are surrounded by your loved ones, there is no words to describe it when you are surrounded by hate. Panic was threatening to invade her as she remembered the last hours.


“It’s over Buffy. You’re safe and I won’t let anything happen to you, ever again.”


She tried to move in the bed, wanted to be in his arms, but she couldn’t. The pain stopped her and it upset her even more. Seeing that, Spike tried to lie down next to her and put his arms around her small form, being careful not to hurt her. She calmed down, trying to regain control of herself.


They both lay there, in silence, until her tears dried out.


“I can’t start to imagine what you’ve been through. I am so sorry luv. It is all my fault.” Spike felt the adrenaline that had been holding him up for the past thirty-something hours leaving him, and tears started filling up his eyes. He wiped at them angrily. “All my bloody fault! I threw you in his arms.”


Buffy pushed weakly on his chest so she could look at him in the eyes. “What the hell are you talking about. It’s not your fault.”


“Yes. It is. If it wasn’t for my God damn smokes, you would have been safely tucked in bed.”


“Spike, stop it. I don’t know why you’re trying to blame this on yourself, but it’s nobody’s fault, especially not yours. I wanted to go out. I chose to. You didn’t even ask me to, you wanted me to stay, remember? I went because I wanted to. And if it weren’t for your cigarettes, I would have still gone anyway. I had decided I wanted ice cream, and you know how stubborn I can be…”


“I shouldn’t have let you go by yourself. Not after the fight we just had with the wanker and his cow. It never even crossed my mind that it was dangerous. I should have been there with you.”


Buffy let herself back down on the thin hospital pillow and looked at him through heavy eyelids. “Then what? The two of us would have been kidnapped and tortured? Who would have saved me if he had taken you too? He would have, you know. You wouldn’t have been able to do anything more than I did. They would have just taken the two of us instead of just me. This guy took complete control of my body; he was making me follow them like an obedient little dog. It would have been the same if you were there, and we would probably be dead by now.”


She closed her eyes, exhausted. “So I’m gonna say this one more time, and I never want to hear it again. It wasn’t your fault.”


Spike put his head on the pillow next to hers. “What would I have done without you?” he asked in a soft voice filled with fear and pain. All the fear and pain he had accumulated over the last thirty hours. She heard it. Understood it. And at that moment, she knew that she hadn’t been alone after all. He had been there with her every step of the way. Terrified, just like her. For her.


“Don’t think like that, ok? I’m here, I’m ok, that’s all that matters.”


They stayed silent for a while. Spike thought she was sleeping, but she suddenly opened her eyes. “What time is it?”


“What?..”


“What time is it Spike? It’s important…”


He got up to look at the clock in the hall in front of her room. “It’s 11am luv. Why?”


“It’s happening tonight. We don’t have much time left. Go get the others.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Buffy tried to sit up when they walked in but she soon gave up. Spike came to stand next to her. He was shifting from one foot to the other, uncomfortable under the other’s look. The night before, they had seen him in an emotional state he couldn’t even begin to describe. None of the usual bravado… Just him, William, worried sick for the woman he loved. And now, he couldn’t help but feeling naked in front of them. So he put on his best detached face, and waited for what Buffy had to say.


The Scoobies didn’t look anymore comfortable than Spike did. Too much emotions over such a short period of time. An eternity for Buffy, but too short for the ones who were looking for her and losing hope with every passing hour. Lack of sleep, worry, fear, relief; it all wore them down. And now, they were all standing in front of her, unsure of how to react. Was she in too much pain for hugs? Was it a bad time for chocolates and flowers?


Buffy rolled her eyes. “Geez guys, I’m not dead. Were they handing out the long faces at the door, or is it just the hospital food that has that effect?”


Xander smiled first and approached her to give her a quick kiss on the forehead. “Hey Buff. Glad to see you’re still very much yourself.”


“Yeah, sorry about that,” Willow said while waiting her turn to hug her friend “we were just worried sick about you. That would explain the long faces.”


“And if we’re a little gray,” Cordelia added, “it’s because that thing they serve here and call coffee is poison.”


Buffy gave Cordelia a half smile.


Anya wave awkwardly at Buffy. "Hey Buffy. You look..." she swallowed, obviously trying hard not to be her usual blunt self.


"It's ok Anya, you can say it. I look like shit."


"No, no! You look good. Blue... is a good color for you."


Xander groaned.


Anya gave him a look. "What? She's the one who said that.."


Giles took a seat next to her bed, putting an end to Anya's rant before it got too far. “How are you feeling Buffy?”


“Well, you know how my life is right? Not much time to indulge in the luxury of self-pity. I asked you here because I need to share the little information that I have. Meaning pretty much nothing, but we still need to figure out what to do.” She stopped to catch her breath. Her broken ribs not allowing her to fill up her lungs completely, she was getting out of breath pretty fast.


“First, you need to know we might have a chance to win Faith over. Ok, I admit, the chances are pretty slim considering that it took about 30 hours of hearing me scream in pain for her to finally have mercy on me, but still… she did.”


“What do you mean by that exactly?”


“She gave me the key. Of course, she could have been more helpful: stake Angelus, untie me, get me to the nearest hospital. Giving me the key obviously wasn’t gonna save me, I couldn’t even stand on my own, more or less fight Angelus. But it’s a sign that maybe we can reach her. Oh, and she also told me the ritual will be tonight. That means I’m out of the fight.”


She smiled at Cordelia. “I guess they can’t fool you Cordy, huh?”


The brunette smiled back. “Nah. They can’t. And about what you said, I mean, about Faith… You’re right. Last night, a couple of hours before they found you, I had another vision. It wasn’t clear, but it confirmed what you just said. It will, somehow, depend on her choices. Oh… and you Spike.”


Spike, who was looking at his boots, raised his eyebrows to look questioningly at Cordelia, but Buffy spoke before he could ask questions.


“Yeah, that kinda brings me to this..”


He looked at her. “Will you take over for me?”


Everybody heard it, but the words were spoken only for him.


“It goes without saying pet.”


“Good.” She smiled and closed her eyes. “It should feel good to have some vacation for a change. I’ll try not to get used to it too much though.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Love it? Hate it? Review so I can find out how you feel about the story. But if you don't review... I love you anyway just for taking time to read my fic :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CHAPTER 5: Lean on me, part 4


“So Harris, now that you and Red saw Buffy, you’re off to get weapons like we talked about earlier.” Spike had taken his jacket off and was now addressing the Scoobies, taking his role as the replacement leader seriously.


Buffy was surprised by his change of attitude, but it was a nice change. She knew he had it in him to take charge, but he never really bothered. Taking the second place next to her, satisfying himself by bitching, making snarky comments and dragging his feet as the reluctant sidekick. Fighting was more his thing, but he could also be a great leader. Something she had always known deep down. “Red, how’s that spell doing? Will it work?”


Willow smiled proudly. “Affirmative Sir. That’s a big yes.”


“Bloody awesome. So you’ll get whatever supplies you need from Buffy’s home, or stop by your place and the magic box if you must, but do it fast. Rup and I will stay here and try to come up with a plan.” He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, frowning a little. “Of course, it’d be easier if one of us had been on the site and we knew what the bloody hell we’re getting ourselves into, but it will have to do. We’ll try to see if Cordelia remembers any more details from her visions.”


“I’m starting to feel a little ignored here. What about me? I’m sure I could do something…”


“I didn’t forget about you luv. Anyanka, if you agree to it, you’ll fight with us tonight. You’re the strongest one besides me, so it would be great if you’d accept…”


“Of course! I’ve been holding back lately because Xander don't like it when I maim people, even for vengeance. Go figure." The vengeance demon pouted before continuig. "A little bit of violence will do me good. I’m sure you know what I mean, soul or no soul.”


“Sure thing ducks. Gotta let the pressure out, and tonight’s the right time to do it.” He turned and frowned when he saw Willow and Xander still standing there. “Red, Whelp, you still here?”


“Huh… on our way boss.” And they were out the door. Spike just rolled his eyes and turned back to Anya and Giles to discuss what they were going to do.


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“So are you sure you have everything Will? Wouldn’t want General Fangface going all scary on you now would we?” Xander put the car on reverse and pulled out of Willow’s driveway. They had stopped by Willow’s place to gather the magical supplies she would need to protect them against the mind control.


“Yup, no worries, it’s all good. It will work like a charm, I guaranty it. It’s really simple, I just had to think about it.”


She gave Xander a quick glance and automatically felt the need to reassure him. “Xand… It’s ok you know. I’m fine, I really am. I can handle this, I promise you. No more scary veiny Willow. Black eyed, maybe, but no veins.”


“It’s not funny Will, I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all. Spike implied that you will be going with him and Anya tonight. I think it’s a very bad idea.”


“You’ll have to trust me Xander. I know my limits now. I also know that emotion is a bad factor in magic and I’ll never let it overpower me again. I’ve been practicing you know. More than you know about. Lots of exercises and meditation. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to scare you. But I’m ready for this. You’ll just have to believe in me.” She put her hand on his arm. “Can you do this? For me?”


Xander grumbled a little but finally agreed. “Sure. You know better I guess… Ok, fine, I trust you.”


“Good. Then you’ll have to prove it to me now. Stop the car.”


“Huh?”


“Stop the car, Xander. Now.”


Xander slowed down, then put on the brakes. They were in front of the old High School. “Will… What are we doing here?”


But when he turned to look at the redheaded witch, she wasn’t there anymore.


“What the hell!?”


Willow’s laugh answered him. “I’m still here.” The car door opened. “Don’t worry, it’s just a simple glamour. Spike gave me the idea when he complained that none of us had been on the site yet. So this idea came popping into my mind. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it earlier. I won’t be long. I’ll just take a look, see if I couldn’t find out something that will help us tonight.”


Xander’s eyes were reflecting complete horror and panic. “Are you out of your mind?! Willow Rosenberg, there’s no way I’m letting you go in there by yourself! If they could block your locator spells, maybe they can break your glamour…”


“I’ll be careful, I’ll stay hidden in case it doesn’t hold. Sorry Xander, but this could be vital. I’ll only be a minute, promise.”


“Willow?… Willow! Damn it!”


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Willow walked into Buffy’s hospital room followed by a gloomy Xander.


“I still think that was the stupidest idea you ever came up with!”


“Oh please Xander, would you give it a rest already?”


All eyes were on them as they kept bickering. Willow was carrying a gym bag on her shoulder. She dropped it on the floor. “Magical supplies.” She explained. Then, walking to where Spike was sitting, she put what looked like black cloaks down on the chair next to him. “And our backstage passes to the biggest event of the year.”


Puzzled, Spike examined the five hooded cloaks. “What the bleedin hell is this?”


“That happens to be the official uniform of the bringers of the Apocalypse. Oh, and if you want any information about tonight, just ask. Time, ritual, what the surroundings look like, how many people will attend…”


“What? How?..”


“Don’t ask. She thought it would be fun to pull a Buffy on me… “


“Pull a what?” Spike looked like he was trying hard at making sense out of what the two were saying, but failing miserably.


“A Buffy. She made herself invisible like Buffy did last year… And now that I think of it, I so don’t want to know what I really walked into when you were doing those exercises in bed…”


“Could we please try to focus here?” Spike asked, clearly irritated.


“Sorry.”


Willow sighed and flopped down on a chair. “I made myself invisible with a glamour, and I sneaked into the old High School. I thought it would be nice to know what we’re up against. I stole those three cloaks from a pile. That’s what they’ll be wearing tonight for the ritual. This way, we can have the element of surprise.”


Willow seemed to be expecting praises, but Spike stayed silent for a moment. “So.. What do you say? Wasn’t it a great idea?”


“Red, a part of me wants to hug you, the other wants to shake you really badly.”


“What?.. But…”


“Do you realize how bad it would have been if those wankers got you? I can’t start to imagine the repercussions! What were you thinking Red?”


“EX-ACT-ly my point!” Xander said proudly. “I kept telling her but she wouldn’t listen.”


Willow pouted.


Spike continued. “But…” He suddenly hugged the girl fiercely. “Thank you so much for your carelessness!”


Xander protested vehemently. “What?! But.. And you encourage her?! But.. You.. What?!”


Spike slapped him upside the head affectionately, then put an arm around his shoulder. “You should be glad she took that risk whelp. Thanks to Red here, now I won’t have to use you as a distraction like I planned to.”


Buffy giggled a little from her bed at Xander’s offended look.


“Ha ha, real funny fangface.”


“Wasn’t trying to be funny. It was the original idea.”


Xander’s eyes widened comically and he went to sit down by the window, mumbling obscenities under his breath.


Spike smiled smugly. “What? It would have been an honorable death. Would have built a bleedin’ monument for you in the middle of Sunnyhell…" Xander gave him the finger. “A giant Harris carved in stone with a hammer in his hands… With a commemorative plaque and all.”


“Spike, leave him alone would you.” Willow rolled her eyes at the vampire.


“What? A bloke can’t have a bit of fun before the apocalypse? Bloody unfair if you ask me.” He went back to his spot next to Buffy, kissing her forehead before sitting down. “How are you holding on pet?”


“A little better after the nap, but I won’t be able to get a descent rest until the ordeal is over and everybody is safe and sound.”


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The night was falling quickly over Sunnydale and in the small hospital room the tension was rising. Spike was pacing in anticipation of the fight to come, while Willow was putting away the magical supplies she had just used to cast a protection spell around the room. Like she said herself: “You never know what kind of evil thoughts can cross an evil mind. Better be safe than sorry.” So she made it so no evil could enter the room. Buffy was in not shape to defend herself, and all the scoobies with enough power or strength to fight would be at the old high school leaving her alone with Dawn and Cordelia. It would be child’s play for Angelus to send some of his men to take her.


“Spike, would you stop bouncing around like that? You’re making me nauseous.”


The blond vampire flashed his love a sheepish grin. “Sorry luv, adrenaline always does that to me.” He pulled a chair next to her and straddled it, resting his forearms on the back of the chair.


“I know. First thing I noticed about you, Mr. Antsy pants. Then I thought: ‘Great, now I have to stake hot guy with sexy British accent. Could my life suck anymore than that?’”


“Really?”


“Yeah… But then I found out just how cocky and annoying you are and it made things a little easier.”


Spike wiggled his eyebrows at her, and they exchanged a smile, both lost in their memories for a moment. Buffy finally broke the silence.


“Just make sure to come back in one piece, would you.” She said it just loud enough for him to hear.


“I promise.”


“You better keep that promise. Try not to let your feelings get control over you when you see him. I know you. You’ll want revenge and take risks. Don’t.”


“Buffy…”


“No. Just promise me you will stick to the plan and you won’t get yourself killed because of Angelus.”


Spike looked down and remained silent for a moment or two then finally nodded. “Alright luv, I promise.”


“Hey… Look at me.” She put a finger under his chin and tilted his head up. “We’ll get him later, ok? You’ll kick his ass as much as you want. Just not now.”


He smiled and kisses her lightly, mindful of her swollen lip. “I’ll be back before you know it. Try not to worry too much.” He got up and turned to face the Scoobies. “Wake up you bunch of wankers, it’s time to kick some bloody arses.”


They all got up and kissed Buffy before following Spike out of the room. But Buffy stopped Willow.


“Will, can you do me a favor?.. “


“Huh.. Sure… What?”


“Look after him. Watch his back for me, ok?”


“Of course Buffy but… Spike as proven again and again that he can take care of himself in battle. Don’t worry about him.”


“I know that Willow. He’s a great fighter, probably one of the best, if not the best I came across. But he’s also very hotheaded, impulsive and passionate. After what Angelus did to me, I’m afraid that when he’ll see him, he’ll lose control and do something stupid that will get him killed.”


The redhead nodded her understanding.


“I’ll just feel better if I know you’re keeping an eye on him… making sure he’ll come back to me, that’s all.”


Willow smiled to her friend and lay a reassuring hand on her frail shoulder. “Will do Buff. See you later.”


She left the room just as Dawn and Cordelia walked in. They looked at each other uncomfortably, realizing how long the waiting would be. Especially for Buffy who was so used to be part of the action.


“So, huh… You guys wanna play cards or something?”


Buffy groaned. *Yep, this is gonna be a looong night*


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CHAPTER 6: Leap of Faith, part 1


With shaky hands, Faith passed the dark cloak over her head. She stood in a dark corner, the orange glow of the torches not quite dissipating the shadows of her temporary refuge. It was the only place she had found where she could have a moment alone. She needed to calm down and think for a little while and was getting tired of all the commotion. She looked down at herself and snorted loudly, the sound reassuring to her ears.


“Donatella would so throw a fit if she saw they made horrors like this.” she mumbled to herself. “Why do evil people have such a terrible fashion sense?”


Faith didn’t like the way her voice sounded. Her bravado was not as convincing as usual.


She sat in the corner and lit up a cigarette with unstable fingers. This was the Faith she didn’t want anybody to see, and she needed to calm down to efficiently hide behind her usual defiant mask.


She pulled her dark hair out of the robe with a swift motion and extended her long legs. Her red leather pants peeked from underneath the cloak and she smiled to herself.


*See girlfriend? No need to be trippin’. Bad ass Faith’s armor is still on…. It’s just covered by some loser Hilton bathrobe dyed black. You’re still the shit.*


She tried to sound convinced. She really did. And almost managed it.


*I’m good. Better than good. Five by five. Maybe lung cancer later though* she thought, looking down at her third cigarette in ten minutes. But then she snickered.


*… Nope, none of that shit… immortal in a few hours. Well I guess the ordeal WILL have some definite perks after all.*


The brunette closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could fool a lot of people, but not herself. She used to be really good at it, but not anymore. Not for a very long time.


After Wolfman&Hart got her out of jail, she had tried to act up, the way a comedian puts on an old costume and gets back into his role. But no matter how hard she tried, she wasn’t the same anymore. Time passes, people change. For the best, for the worst. It all depends on what life throws at you. At one point, Faith thought she had more than enough shit thrown at her face to justify striking back and playing God. She wasn’t so sure anymore. Now she was trying not to think about it, but the thought snuck into her brain against her will.


*A shitload of folks will die after tonight…*


For some reason, the unstable girl got pissed off at that. She got up and crushed her cigarette viciously under her combat boot.


“Screw them all!”


She forced herself to remember all the reasons why she hated the world. Flashback of her father kicking the shit out of her drunk mother. The foster families making her feel like a piece of shit when she was a teen. Having to fight for her life in the street after her Watcher died. All the happy homes in Sunnydale while she had to eat mac and cheese in a cheap motel. People trying to kill her everyday in prison because it was such a challenge. Almost a sport. “Hey, who’s gonna manage to kill #88706!”. The world was a Hellhole. Why would she try to see the bright side when she had such a shitty background? The world wasn’t all about Christmas, and flowers and puppies. It was mainly about people killing each other for cold cash. It was about children being abused and young girls having to sell their bodies to survive. Good guys only won in movies. In real life, the bad guys were the only ones leaving the stage on both their legs. And as much as Faith despised the world, life was her crack: she hated it, but couldn’t turn her back on it either. Immortality and power were so appealing…


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The five of them were standing by the car, on a dark road in the woods behind Sunnydale High.


Xander looked at the others, then down at himself and sighed.


“So… how would our beloved leader put this? ‘I look like a bleedin pounce in that sodding poofter robe’… or something like that.”


Spike snorted at Xander’s lame imitation. “You have to learn to dose, you wanker. It’s an art. But since you described the situation accurately, I won’t criticize your use of British slang.”


“Anybody else feels evil butterflies flying around in their stomach?” asked Willow, so pale she looked like she might pass out any minute.


They all cast worried glances at the young witch. Most of the operation depended on her and, despite what they told her, they weren’t sure she could handle that much magic. Spike wasn’t worried she’d go back to evil Willow, but they were asking of her and she hadn’t been back in the game all that long. She’d put a protection spell around Buffy’s room to keep evil at bay.


Magic would also be used to cloud the signals to Spike’s chip so he could fight humans if necessary. There were too many enemies, humans as well as demons, to risk sending Spike into a fight with the chip working. Willow knew Buffy would never forgive her if something happened to the blond vampire.


And no matter what Willow said, Spike could see in her eyes that she would attempt the restoration spell on Angelus if she got the chance. He hadn’t said anything to her about it yet, but he would have to bring it up soon. If she over estimated herself it could screw up their chances, all for Angel’s sake. The wanker didn’t deserve that much.


The blond vampire pulled a Marlboro out of his pack and lit it. He took Willow’s hand, gave her a reassuring squeeze, and pulled her aside. The girl looked so frail, like she would break anytime; it was hard to believe there was such power in her. But he’d already learnt with Buffy, the size of the package was no indication of the power it held.


“Red, I want to know, for sure, that you’re gonna be alright. Now, don’t go thinking I don’t trust you. I do. But it’s a lot to put on your shoulders and I don’t want you to be in any danger. If you think you can’t do it, I’d rather you tell me now so we can rethink the whole thing. Or maybe you could skip the chip spell…”


“Spike…”


“I’ll just be careful…”


“Spike.”


“If I stay away from human beings, I’ll be fine…”


“Spike!”


“What?”


“I’ll. Be. Fine. I’ve done a lot of thinking the past few months, and I’m more familiar with the extent of my powers, and my limits. I will play my part, and I will play it well.”


She gave him the resolve face, her eyebrows shooting up in a comical way, and he didn’t have the heart to argue. When she saw him give up, her face brightened. “Ok then! Chip spell time!”


She closed her eyes and concentrated, whispering incomprehensible words. She brought her hands up a few inches apart and blue sparks of energy flew between her palms.


Spike groaned, looking worried. “Hey now, better not fry my bloody brain, ducks, or you’ll never hear the end of it, I promise.”


His whining didn’t receive an answer. Instead, Willow touched her fingers to the sides of his head. He shut his eyes, anticipating the pain, but nothing came. He carefully opened his eyes again.


“Did it work?”


Willow smiled up at him and extended her arm. “Find out. Go ahead, pinch me.”


He did, but the only sound of pain was Willow’s heartfelt “Ow!”..


“Did you really have to bruise me, you evil you?”


“Sorry.” The self-satisfied smirk on Spike’s face told her he didn’t quite mean that. “Right then. On to spell number three.” They walked back to where the scoobies were waiting. Xander and Giles were sitting on the hood of the car while Anya drew the protection circle on the road.


Willow cracked her knuckles and rubbed her hands together, wiggling her eyebrows playfully. “You guys ready to get your brains fried?”


Giles gave her a look. “I can’t say that I’m quite enjoying your sense of humor tonight, Willow.”


“Oh come on!”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


“Don’t you think this is getting long?” Buffy asked, not looking up from the cards she was holding.


She was answered by simultaneous sighs. She looked up but quickly went back to her cards when she saw Cordelia and Dawn’s annoyed look.


Cordelia snorted. “It’s been TWENTY minutes Buffy. It’s not even midnight yet. Give them a chance.”


The three girls whipped their heads around towards the doorway when they heard a few low curses. A tall, dark haired, nurse in white uniform and squeaky shoes was standing there. She tried taking another step into the room, unsuccessfully. They watched as a confused look passed through her normally cold, unfeeling eyes, then she walked away shaking her head.


“Oh well, who would have known… Spike was right. She really is Satan’s daughter.” Buffy said, putting down a royal flush. “Pay up!”


“What? That’s not fair!” Dawn whined. “And when did you learn how to play Poker anyway?”


“Last year. When I was secretly dating Spike.”


Dawn and Cordelia kept looking at her in silence.


“What? You thought getting pelvic was our only activity? We played Poker too… once or twice. He taught me well.”


“Yeah, you mean he taught you how to cheat.” Dawn pouted.


“Pfff.” Buffy made a dramatic gesture, collecting the other girls pennies. “Semantics.”


She tilted her head, discretely looking at Cordelia’s watch. Cordelia noticed and growled at her before removing her watch and shoving it in her jeans pocket.


“It’s been twenty-TWO minutes Buffy! Quit it already!.. Gee, psycho much?”


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A/N: I give you the chapter, you give me the reviews. It's only fair, no? lol Come on guys, tell me what you think. I want to hear from you!

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CHAPTER 6: Leap of Faith, part 2



“I don’t trust her.”


Lilah Morgan looked around once more to make sure everything was perfect. Aesthetically speaking, this had nothing to do with the kind of posh workplace she was used to, but it would do. The whole building had been put together in a rush and it was a miracle that it was still standing. They had kept the outside walls of Sunnydale High, and only fixed the inside so it would suit their plans. The space around the breach in the ground had been cleared of all obstacles, allowing an impressive group of people to gather around it. They had installed torches all around the site and it was bathing everything in a spooky orange glow. The few demons assisting in the ritual were already dressed in their cloaks, and waiting for the event to start, while the still numerous humans were awaiting their fate in retreat. Everything seemed to be perfect. They hadn’t even heard of the Slayer and her friends since she had escaped the night before. With a little bit of luck, they were all at the hospital surrounding the little bitch’s bed, so busy praising her and telling her just how wonderful she is that they would never know what hit them. But just in case they were smarter than she thought, she posted guards outside the building.


Lilah’s eyes went back to Angelus and she watched in silence as he finished draining a young boy. He dropped the body to the ground and wiped his mouth from the remaining traces of blood.


“You don’t trust her, because you shouldn’t trust her. Come on Lilah, you and I have known each other long enough for me to know that you’re not just a pretty face. There’s actually a brain behind all that make-up you’re wearing.”


She grinned, obviously pleased with herself. “I did finally succeed in getting rid of that annoying soul of yours, didn’t I. Proved Angel I wasn’t as stupid as he thought I was.”


“Yeah, you know what? I wouldn’t brag too much about that if I was you. Lil’ Buffy pulled that one off too so it doesn’t say all that much about your IQ I’m afraid.”


Lilah glared at him but let it pass. “Can we go back to our topic please? Faith. I’m starting to have my doubts about the girl. I don’t know if she’s gonna go through with it. She assured me that she was cool with it, but I know people--It’s my job to know people, and I could tell that she was nervous about this. She sounded like she could be convinced to do the right thing so I think she needs someone by her side to keep her in the right frame of mind. I was gonna have you staying by my side, but I think you’ll be more useful standing next to her. This way, if someone gets the funny idea of trying to interrupt the ceremony, you can take care of things.”


“Yeah, sure. Where are you going to be anyway?”


“Me? Well away from possible harm in case things don’t go as planned.” She smiled at him sweetly. “I happen to like my body and I am very protective of it.”


Angelus opened his mouth to answer but she interrupts him.


“I’ve gotta go talk to Faith. If you’ll excuse me…” She took the hand of a blond girl who had been standing in the shadow behind her, and they made their way across the crowded room to where Faith was talking to Gavin.


“You were leaving Gavin? What a disappointment.”


The Chinese lawyer just rolled his eyes and walked away. Lilah turned to Faith.


“Faith, I’d like you to meet… “ She turned to the blond girl who couldn’t be more than thirteen or fourteen years old. “What’s your name honey?”


“Jaime.”


The girl’s eyes were empty, her voice lifeless.


“So Jaime here’s gonna be your official virgin sacrifice. I know, I know; it’s a little cliché. But it’s necessary. So keep an eye on her would you, I’m busy. “ She shoved the young girl towards Faith. “Don’t get too attached though because you’ll be slicing her throat in a hour or so. “


Faith stared at Lilah with her mouth hanging open. “What..? Dude, you’re trippin… be serious.”


“I am serious Faith. If you have a problem with that, you better say it now.”


The brunette cast a slightly worried glance towards Jaime before answering. “No. Of course I don’t have a problem. Just thought it’s kinda lame… you know… the virgin sacrifice an all that shit. Don’t worry, I’m cool.”


“Yes. You better be.”


Faith followed Lilah with her eyes until she was out of sight. Feeling like someone was staring at her, she turned to see Jaime standing there. He irrationally snapped at what was more like a shell than an actual person. “Stop staring at me you creep!”


*man, this is gonna be really fucked up…* She couldn’t help thinking.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


“Alright. So we all know what we have to do?”


Xander gave Spike a mocked salute. “Yes general.”


“I bloody well hope you do Whelp, we’ve been through this about twenty times for your benefit..”


“Yeah fang face. You think you’re so funny, don’t ya.” Xander pouted.


“Just trying to lighten the mood soldier. Lets do this.”


Spike and Giles watched as Xander, Anya and Willow made their way around the building, then Spike turned to Giles.


“Right behind you Ripper.”


The two men pulled the hoods of their cloak down in front of their faces and walked to the other side of the building. There was an opening in one of the walls where a few demons wearing similar robes were standing.


Giles went in first, giving a slight nod of his head and praying to all Gods that the smell of other humans in the building was strong enough to cover his own. They had found out too late that only demons were wearing the cloaks and it wouldn’t do to be discovered now. But fortunately, the demons standing there barely acknowledged them.


They made their way quietly through a dark hallway that seemed to be leading to the place of the ritual. The only source of light came from sparse torches that bathed everything in a shifty orange glow and made the place even more hostile and gloomy.


Thinking that he had lost Giles, Spike had to look up for a moment in order to locate him. It was only a fraction of second, but he knew right away that he had been found out. There was no need to hope, he saw the recognition in the eyes of the human. Of all people, he had to come face to face with the kid from the 7/Eleven.


Swiftly and almost without a sound, Spike grabbed the boy and pulled him into the shadow where he reached for his head to snap his neck.


He froze.


Half an hour without the chip, and he was already trying to kill an innocent. Panic was choking him. He held his hand over the boy’s mouth to keep him quiet and took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He had to be rational about this because it really wasn’t the time for lengthy introspections. The big picture was what mattered, the mission. And the sake of the world depended on the mission to succeed. If that boy had given the alert, it would have been over. Sure, if Buffy had been in the same situation, her reaction would have been to punch the boy’s lights out. But he was working on instincts, and even if he hated to face it now that he had a soul, there was still a demon inside of him and things like that were to be expected.


**Very bad timing for the self-therapy moment mate**


Spike put his hand over the kid’s nose to cut off his oxygen until he passed out, then dropped him to the floor. Then, making sure the hood was covering his face, he went back to where a very anxious Giles was waiting for him.


“Where in the bloody world have you been! I thought they had you.” Giles whispered harshly.


“Sorry. Ran into a bit of trouble. It’s all taken care of. Let’s go.”


They finally walked into what used to be the library. A few walls had been taken down, leaving only the outside walls of the high school, and it was much bigger. Barely smaller than a football field, to be exact.


There were a lot of people in there, standing aimlessly around the place, most of them staring off into space. It was a disturbing sight for both Giles and Spike. There must have been at least two hundred of them. The rest were demons. About thirty or so.


Spike looked up to where Willow was supposed to set up camp and as expected, she was there. They were ready.


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Willow finished making her way to the hole in the collapsed wall she had spotted earlier that day, Anya and Xander bickering happily behind her, testing her patience. She was so close to losing it.


“Why won’t you admit that you’re wrong? You never admit when you’re wrong and I’m right.”


“Because I’m right Anh! It doesn’t make sense…”


“Does too! You think that…”


“Enough!” The redheaded witch turned to Anya and Xander, her eyes flashing with frustration and anger.


“But he refuses to say that…”


“One more word and I swear I’ll do things to you that you’ve never heard of Anya. And you too Xander.”


Anya took one look at Willows eyes. They weren’t quite black yet, but definitely getting there. She backed off.


“Fine. No need to get scary. No more talking.”


Willow sighed, relieved that the constant bickering was finally coming to an end. “Alright. We’re here.”


The place was perfect. It was well away from the coming battle, and Willow would have a great view of what would be happening about twenty feet below without any risk of her spells being interrupted. Anya and Xander had come with her to make sure she would make it without a glitch. She had to concentrate on her magic, not defending herself. They could also reach their assigned position more easily from there since it meant they didn’t have to cross the room.


Xander and Anya looked down at the scene unfolding in front of them with matching worried frowns as Willow finished setting up the ingredients she would need.


“Merciful Zeus! You have got to be joking! It‘s like Carnival down there.”


Anya snickered. “You’ve been to how many apocalypses exactly Xander? Three? Four?.. Any of those times had to do with two midgets playing chess? Or fairies reading stories to the kids?”


“Those sarcasms are uncalled for Anya. I’m sure you’re as freaked as I am. There’s got to be at least two hundred people down there. Why are the Scoobies always outnumbered? I swear, if we make it through this, I‘ll interview potential Scoobies as soon as we get home so this doesn‘t happen again.”


Willow patted her freaked out friend on the back reassuringly. “Come on Xand, try to see the glass half full for once. It‘s not as bad as it looks.”


“When I see a glass and don’t know if it’s half empty or half full, I drink it. No more dilemma.”


Willow rolled her eyes at him. “Yeah, you know what? The Scoobies are always outnumbered, but do I have to remind you that the Scoobies are still standing, living and breathing nonetheless? That must mean that we’re doing something right, don’t you think? Besides, you won’t have to fight all these people. As soon as I’m done with the spell, the humans will probably run away screaming their heads off…”


“Yes. Leaving us to deal with thirty or so demons, two evil psychotic lawyers from hell, a rogue Slayer and Angelus the magnificent himself. Not to mention the Hellmouth. We’re so screwed.”


“I’ll agree with Xander here. It doesn’t look really good for us.”


Willow shut her eyes tightly in frustration. **And she chooses NOW to agree with him?!**


Seeing Willow’s expression, Anya back pedaled quickly. “But I’m all for risking my life for the greater good. Go apocalypse! Yay us doomed white hats!”


Willow chose to ignore the vengeance demon and walked to the edge of the crumbled wall to try spotting Spike and Giles. With everybody wearing the same thing, it would have been nearly impossible if she hadn’t known exactly where they were supposed to be. But she found them without too much trouble. Spike was actually looking up at her. She gave him the thumb up. He discretely indicated to her where Lilah and Faith were standing.


“Lilah.”


“Huh?” Xander looked at her in confusion.


“That evil psychotic lawyer you were talking about? That’s her right over there. Cordelia said to watch for this one, she’s the one in charge.”


“Oh, are those Jimmy Choo stilettos she’s wearing? I bet evil law firms pay very well.”


Willow had enough. “Ok, you two, go now. I have to do the spell and you need to be down there.”


She watched them leaving and called after them. “Have fun!.. Don’t get killed!”


She waited until they reached their assigned position, then gave Spike and Giles the signal that they were all ready to start.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CHAPTER 6: Leap of Faith, part 3


The witch stood at the edge of the wall, overlooking the whole scene. She was holding a small leather pouch in one hand, and power coursed through her as she said words in a language long forgotten. The magic she was up against was powerful. She was more powerful.


Emptying the content of the pouch on her upturned palm, she blew the shimmering powder over the scene. She knew the mind control spell was broken right away, but it took a few seconds for people to realize what was going on. They started stirring and blinking, as if waking up from a long nightmare. Then the first scream sounded, and panic spread quickly from one end of the room to the other.


People were rushing the exits in a desperate attempt to get as far away as possible from this place that reeked of evil and death. They were willing to kill anybody who would get in their way. The commotion reminded Willow of a stampede. Or maybe more like the running of the bulls, in the streets of a small Spanish village.


She saw Spike shoving at a few people who, in their haste to get away, were trying to push past him. Giles even had to punch one who was clinging to him, pulling on his cloak and threatening his disguise.


Lilah’s shrill voice suddenly resonated through the open room. She was barking orders at her minions. The normally calm and collected lawyer seemed frantic.


“Don’t let them out! DON’T LET ANYBODY OUT OR THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY!!”


Willow saw her leaning towards Angelus to say something in his ear, then she grabbed Faith’s arm and the two women walked to the opening of the Hellmouth.


**Oh oh.. Not good.**


The redheaded witch glanced worriedly towards Spike. He was the one who was supposed to give the signal of the attack by striking first. He hadn’t moved yet, but there were still a couple of humans in the way.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Humans were running everywhere. Lilah was pissed; she didn’t like it when things didn’t go her way. She had spent a very long time working on this plan and nothing would make her fail. This could only be the work of the Slayer’s stupid little friends. She had underestimated them, obviously.


At first, she wasn’t going to send any of the demons after the humans. There were already demons guarding the exits and she needed all the reinforcement she could get around the ritual site in case the white hats decided to interrupt. But the humans were crucial to the ritual and she couldn’t risk them escaping. They needed them to keep the Hellmouth’s energy flowing until it could be opened permanently. So she decided to send some of the minions to help keep the humans inside in case the demons at the door would be outnumbered.


“Don’t let them out! DON’T LET ANYBODY OUT OR THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY!!” She shouted at the black robed demons.


Turning to Angelus, she leaned towards him to speak in his ear.


“Change of plans handsome. I’ll stay with Faith, and you make sure that nobody comes anywhere near us. You know the Slayer’s friends better than anybody here so you know which one poses a threat, which one to take down first.”


“I’m on it.”


The dark haired vampire turned to walk away and Lilah took Faith’s arm and guided her to the opening in the ground that lead to the famous Hellmouth.


“Time to do this Faith.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Spike saw Lilah walking with Faith to the gap in the ground and decided that it was time to act.


He pushed back the hood that was covering his head and reached behind him to retrieve the sword that was strapped to his back under the cloak. Spike pulled it out and took a swing, cutting off the head of the demon standing next to him. This officially started the battle.


Without missing a beat, he moved on to the next demon who had the guts to attack him. He could see Rupert from the corner of his eyes. The watcher was taking care of two demons at a time and seemed to be doing just fine, so Spike threw himself heart and soul into the battle, dispatching the demons one after the other.


Spike was vaguely aware of what was going on on the other side of the room but didn’t pay much attention because he knew Anya and Xander could hold their own. He had looked quickly, and seen Xander hacking away happily at demons, while Anya was busy with the Chinese guy. The lawyer seemed like an old pro at sword fighting, but Anyanka was giving him a run for his money and did it with a happy smile on her face that said she was thoroughly enjoying herself. The girl sure did love a good spot of violence. Demons were going down left and right, leaving only a few standing.


The blonde vampire turned around only to be faced with the ugliest demon he had ever seen.


“Well you sure are a nasty ugly bugger mate. The world won’t miss you too much.”


Taking a swing of his sword, he decapitated the thing. The demon went down, revealing the grinning Angelus who had been standing right behind it.


“Hello there Spikey boy. Enjoying your evening?”


Spike just stood there, staring into the eyes of the one person he hated the most in this world. He felt the rage warming up his cold body. It started at his toes, slowly making its way up until he couldn’t hold the blood lust back any longer. That was the moment he had been waiting for.


“Well hello to you too Angelus.” he said through gritted teeth. “Ready to die?”


Before the brunette vampire could reply, Spike threw himself at him. Both men went down hard. The snarls and growls could be heard through the room over the sounds of the fight.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Willow’s eyes widened when she saw the two vampires fight. She had expected this, but in her delusional mind, had secretly hoped it wouldn’t happen. Yet, there they were, completely lost in a vicious fight and seemingly unaware of their surroundings.


**Shit!**


If Spike lost sight of the big picture, they were all screwed. And as it was, it really didn’t look good. The two were now back on their feet facing each other, their blades clashing viciously.


But as worried as she was, especially after what Buffy had told her about Spike and his emotional state, she couldn’t focus only on him. Looking away from the two vampires, her gaze was drawn to the opening in the ground that would soon be the Hellmouth, and she didn’t like what she saw. Lilah was holding a blonde girl by the back of her shirt over the gapping opening in the ground. The blood was flowing freely from the girl’s throat and into the Hellmouth.


Thinking fast, Willow said a few words in Latin, then flicked her wrist. Theoretically, Lilah and the blonde girl should have flown back hard enough to crash into the wall. Nothing happened.


Willow looked puzzled for a moment, then frowned as she realized what was going on. There was no doubt in the witch’s mind that a magical barrier had been erected around Lilah and Faith to protect them.


She started working frantically on a counter spell, but knew it would take too much time. They didn’t have the luxury of time.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CHAPTER 6: Leap of Faith, part 4


Spike had let go of his sword for the moment, and his fists were now flying in a blur, turning the face of his enemy into a bloody mess. Not that he wasn’t bloody himself, but the damage he’d inflicted on Angelus was ten times worse than what he’d received. Angelus was lying on his back, taking the punishment with a smirk on his face that made Spike’s blood boil in his veins. He was out for vengeance. He knew it wasn‘t the time. He knew he should keep his head in check and that he had more important things to do, but he couldn‘t help himself. For a moment there, he just lost control and nothing else mattered, until he heard her voice in his head.


“Just promise me you will stick to the plan and you won’t get yourself killed because of Angelus.”


Spike stopped pummeling Angelus and shut his eyes tight, taking a deep calming breath. He was letting her down. She counted on him, and he was doing exactly what she asked him not to do. It wasn‘t time for revenge. It wasn‘t time for vendettas.


Looking up from Angelus’ ravaged face, Spike saw. And his mouth dropped open. Faith had started chanting.


His eyes widen as the ground started shaking underneath his feet.


**Bloody Hell--this can’t be good…**


He snickered at his own thought.


**Yeah, understatement of the year mate**


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Willow put her hand on the wall next to her to stabilize herself as the ground shook and pieces of what was left of the roof started falling. She watched helplessly as a column of orange light shot straight up from the opening in the ground and into the night sky through a hole in the roof.


**Oh God--this can’t be good…**


She turned sharply toward where Spike was standing over the prostrated form of Angelus and yelled to try to get his attention.


“SPIKE!!!”


He was looking at Faith, and Willow could only stare as Angelus took that moment of distraction to his advantage and knock Spike’s legs from underneath him, sending him crashing to the ground.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dawn gripped the edge of the desk next to her to keep her footing when the entire building started shaking. She shot Cordelia and Buffy a panicked look, eyes glistening with restrained tears.


“This--this doesn’t mean anything, does it? It.. Doesn’t mean they failed, right?.. Right?!”


Cordelia walked to where the young girl was standing and put a comforting arm around her slender shoulder.


“It doesn’t mean anything Dawny. Even if Faith started the ritual--I’m sure the guys will find a way to stop it. We have to have faith in them. Besides, what else can we do? We have to wait.”


Buffy didn’t say a word. She only stared out the window at the orange light that now illuminated the night sky.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Spike went down hard. He had been distracted for a second and was now paying the price. You just couldn’t be distracted around a master vampire like Angelus. The older vampire had knocked him down with his leg. Both men lunged at the sword Spike had let go of earlier, but Spike got it first and used the hilt to hit Angel and make him let go of his arm. They both stood up, facing each other.


“Time to end it poofter. I have somewhere I have to be.”


Spike threw himself at the older vamp with every intention in the world of making it quick this time. This fight had gone on for long enough and he would not let Buffy down. Not again. This time he would be the one saving the world. And he’d do it for Buffy and Dawn… Oh. And the rest of humanity--of course.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Faith.


She was alone again.


It hurt.


Yeah, she could admit it now. It did hurt.


And she was scared. She hated to be scared but couldn’t help it this time around.


There was a fight going on around her. People. Believing in something. Fighting for a cause.


**What’s your cause Faith? What do you fight for? Do you believe in something? How could you believe in something if you don’t even believe in you--if you don’t believe in Faith. What about humanity girlfriend? Aren’t you part of them? Shouldn’t you be out there fighting for them… with them?**


She could feel the energy coursing through her body. But it was cold and empty. It felt evil. It shouldn’t matter though. She was supposed to like it. Wasn’t she supposed to be one of the bad guys now? Hadn’t she turned her back to her calling? She wasn‘t a Slayer anymore. That was Buffy‘s gig. It wasn‘t hers. She had no gig. Saving the world was for Slayers and she wasn‘t one.


But the small voice inside of her told her she was lying.


**You can’t turn your back on being the Slayer you idiot. It’s part of you. Whether you think you’re worthy or not. It’s not a choice and you know it. It just is. It's not like chosing to become a doctor or a fucking nun. Guess that's why you're feeling like shit right now Faithy... **


Yeah. Maybe that’s why she was stumbling over the words now. Maybe that’s why she was chanting with less conviction and hating the evil force crawling through her body.


Her voice was getting shakier as she pronounced the words.


Yeah. That was why she knew she couldn’t go through with it. But it was too late to stop now, wasn't it.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Assessing the situation, Willow knew there was only one thing she could do.


Giles was too far from the action to be able to get anywhere near Faith in time to stop the ritual. Xander, despite the best intentions in the world, had a hard enough time surviving. He couldn’t be expected to save the day. And Anya already had too much on her hands and wouldn’t make it in time either.


She had to stop Angelus, and she had to do it now.


Taking the orb of Thesala out of her bag, Willow started chanting the words she already knew by heart, as fast as she could, all the while praying to all Gods and Goddesses that she wouldn’t be too late.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Angelus stopped mid punch and frowned at Spike, not sure of what was happening.


“… oh shit!”


His head shot up as light went through him.


Spike tilted his head to look at the dark haired man as he dropped to his knees. It took him a few seconds to understand what was happening but then, he knew.


He stepped closer to Angel, who’s face was scrunched up in pain, and stopped in front of him. He looked down on the newly souled vampire, his chiseled features a mask of icy hatred.


“S..Spike?”


Spike cocked back his fist and slammed it into Angel’s face.


“That’s for my girl you bloody fucking wanker.”


Picking his sword up from where he had dropped it, Spike rushed towards the rogue Slayer who was still chanting, though her enthusiasm seemed to have severely dropped.


The sky was now entirely orange over their heads and the ground was shaking with increasing force. Faith was standing at the edge of the gapping hole in the ground, surrounded by a flow of light. She was alone now, the lawyer having taken cover near a wall in the back.


Spike approached Faith carefully. But before his foot touched the light, she snapped out of her trance like state and yelled at him.


“NO! Stand back. It’s gonna kill you!”


Spike hesitated. He wasn’t sure what to do, but he definitely wasn’t overly enthusiastic about going into that flow of energy.


“Trust me. You don’t want to do that. If you touch that light, you’ll burst into flames.”


They both turned as they heard Lilah shrieking Faith’s name. The woman tried to go towards them, but the floor was shaking too badly for her to keep her footing so she just kept at yelling for Faith not to stop chanting. The girl ignored her.


Spike turned back to Faith. They had looked through books, but hadn’t found anything about this ritual and he had no clue how to stop it. But… Faith knew.


The Slayer was staring down the Hellmouth, the energy making her dark hair move around her head as if she was standing on the deck of a boat on a bright sunny afternoon. She turned to look at Spike and he was startled by what he saw in her eyes. Determination. And incredible sadness.


“Run, Bleach boy. Take them out of here. And…” She choked, as if holding back a sob. “Tell her… Tell Buffy that I love her. And I’m sorry for everything.”


Tears were now flowing freely down her pretty face. And she was scared. She was scared shitless.


“Please--it’s important. I need her to know that I do love her. You two be happy, ok? And don’t do anything I would do.”


She gave him a quick smile, and before Spike could say anything, she took a graceful dive into the Hellmouth. Doing what nobody ever expected Faith to do: giving her life for the world, and erase her past mistakes.


“Will do luv. Will do…” Spike whispered with a sad smile.


But he didn’t have too much time to get sentimental. The old High School was coming down around them. Fast.


He turned around and shouted for everybody to leave the place.


“Everybody out! NOW!”


He looked up to make sure Willow would get it but she was already gone. He waited a few moment to make sure everybody was leaving, then made his way out. He passed by Angel who was still where he had left him mere moments ago, but kept on walking, not even sparing him a glance.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The Scoobies watched in relief as Spike walked out of the building just a few moments before it went down. He walked towards where they were all waiting, carrying across his shoulder… Angel.


He dropped the unconscious vampire on the grass in front of the stunned Scoobies, giving him a swift kick in the ribs for good measure.


“Get that piece of trash away from me and tell him to be forever grateful to Cordelia Chase for loving him. If it weren’t for her, he’d be rotting under the rubble right about now.”


He turned to leave, but quickly added. “And when he regains consciousness, tell the bloody wanker that if he ever comes anywhere near Buffy or me again, I’ll do the same thing to him that he did to her… only a thousand times worst. I‘ll see you all at the hospital.”


The blonde vampire left so fast, he seemed to vanished into the night. But they couldn’t blame him. The Slayer was waiting.


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A/N: Where's the love, guys? If you don't review, I'll have to call my good friend Glory so she can give you all a good ass kicking for not worshipping me properly. Ok, bad attempt at BtvS humor. But seriously though, we're reached the epilogue and I'm dying to know what you thought about the story. So speak up and let me know or else, I'll just assume you abandonned me half way through it ;-)