A/N Okay, guys, here’s a new story. I have been so busy lately that my friend Allison (who is an awesome writer) was generous enough to co-write this with me. Our writing styles are very similar, so you (hopefully) won’t even notice. This story has a lot of UST, so if you don’t like that you might want to wait and read it when it’s finished. Please leave lots and lots of reviews!



Chapter 1 - Misunderstanding


Spike followed the blonde into the apartment, admiring her as she walked.

“All hardwood floors, kitchen to the left…obviously,” she said with a
sheepish grin, since the huge apartment was essentially one large, open
area. “Living room or area, more accurately,” she continued, pointing
straight ahead. “Office.”

Spike turned to the right and saw the bookshelves, desk and computer sitting
in an alcove that constituted an office.

“Loft is up those stairs,” she said, pointing to the spiral staircase next
to the alcove. “That’s my room up there. Extra bedroom is down the hall,
this way,” she continued, leading him to the back right corner of the
apartment and down a short hall to a large bedroom filled with boxes.

She turned to him with a smile. “The boxes will be moved out. I’m kind of
a packrat.” Spike smiled as they walked toward the bathroom. “And that’s
the grand tour. Any questions?”

“Your name, pet?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m Buffy Summers,” she said with a light blush tinting her
cheeks as she offered her hand.

Spike smiled, taking it and brushing his lips along the top of it, his smile
widening as she got visibly flustered and looked away. “And you already
know my name.”

“Spike,” she reaffirmed with a nod.

“It’s a nice place,” Spike said, looking around as they walked down the
hallway to the main room.

“Yeah,” Buffy said with a nod. “So do you want it?”

Spike looked at her in surprise. “No applications? No interview?”

Buffy shrugged. “You seem like a nice enough guy. It’s not like we have to
be best friends. As long as you pay your share of the rent on time and
you’re not some serial killer, I think we’ll be able to co-exist together.”

“Alright then,” Spike said with a smile. “I’ll take it.”

“Great!” Buffy said with a bright smile. “You can move in whenever you
want. Tonight if you feel like it, and don’t worry, I’ll have those boxes
out of there.”

Spike smiled and nodded. “I have something to take care of tonight and then
I’ll start moving my stuff in.”

* * * * *

“Harmony, I’m trying to explain it to you. It’s just not working out, it
hasn’t been for a while.”

“Don’t be silly, blondie bear. I know you would never break up with me,
unless you had a good reason.”

“I would think ‘not wanting to be together’ constitutes a good reason.”

“Now, Spikey, you’re just being testy. Have a drink, and then we’ll talk
about what’s really bothering you.”

Spike sighed, rolling his eyes upward as he tightened his jaw. Looking
around the restaurant, he finally got up to walk to the bar, clenching and
unclenching his fists as he walked.

“Bourbon,” he said to the bartender who nodded and walked away.

“Rough night?”

Spike turned to the owner of the voice, his eyes lighting up when he saw
Buffy sitting there, giving him a friendly smile.

“You could say that,” he replied with a smile. “You meeting someone, pet?”
Spike asked, silently thanking the bartender for taking so long with his
drink.

“I was meeting my friend, but she called me a minute ago and said she
couldn’t make it. Would you…like to join me?”

“I would, but I’ve got a little bit of unfinished business,” he replied,
looking across the restaurant to see Harmony complaining to the waiter about
what she ordered. “Rain check?”

Buffy followed his gaze, seeing the blonde at the table. “Maybe that’s not
the best idea.”

Spike’s eyes widened. “Oh no, we’re not together,” he said, shaking his
head as he gestured to the table behind him. “Well, not from my perspective
anyway. She seems to have different ideas.”

Buffy smiled. “And why are you not together?”

“She’s not my type,” he said with a shrug as he was handed his drink.
“Listen…if you’re still here after I…wrap this up, maybe we could get to
know each other better.”

“Umm, I’m not really-“

“Not that way,” he said with a smile. “I was strictly talking in the
getting to know each other as new roommates. Nothing else.”

‘For now,’ Spike thought.

“I guess we’ll have to see if I’m still here,” she said with a flirty smile.

* * * * *

Twenty minutes later, Spike was still trying to convince Harmony that it was
over (and rapidly holding himself back from banging his head against the
table).

“Spikey, the only way a man would consciously decide to leave me is if he
was gay.”

‘What harm can it do?’ Spike thought to himself. ‘It’s not like I’ll ever
see this bint again.’

“That’s me,” Spike blurted out before he could think about it much longer.

“Excuse me?”

“That’s me…I…I’m…gay.”

Harmony’s eyes widened. “When did you come out?”

“Fairly short time ago,” he said with a sardonic smile.

“Ohhhh,” Harmony said with a nod. “It all makes sense now.”

Spike’s eyes shot up to hers. “What!? What all makes sense now?”

“Oh, nothing. Just a few things fell into place,” Harmony said, standing up
and grabbing her purse before dropping a kiss on the top of his head.
“Don’t worry, blondie bear, I’m sure you’ll find someone perfect for you.”

Spike didn’t say anything. He was still trying to figure out what could
have possibly fallen into place as Harmony walked away.

* * * * *

Buffy looked up from reapplying her lipstick as the bathroom door opened.

“Men!”

Normally Buffy didn’t try and make conversation in the bathroom, but this
was the girl who was sitting with Spike, and she seemed distressed about
something.

“Is something wrong?” Buffy asked quietly.

“Men!”

“Yeah…I got that part.”

“He likes men!”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “The guy you’re here with?”

“Yeah, he’s gay.”

‘The kiss on the hand, the bleached hair, telling me she wasn’t his type,
wanting to get to know me, but not in *that* sense. Of course he would be
too good to be true.’

“Well,” Buffy said with a compassionate look. “There’s other guys out
there.”

“Yep,” Harmony agreed. “But he’s such a hottie.”

Buffy watched her walk into one of the stalls before sighing. “Yeah,”
she whispered to herself before walking out the door.

Spike sat at the bar, looking up with a smile when he saw Buffy.
Intercepting her before she could walk out of the restaurant, he gave her
one of his most winning smiles. “I thought you left.”

Buffy smiled. ‘At least he seems like a nice enough guy.’

“I was just heading out.”

“Mind if I join you?” Spike asked, in a hopeful tone. “Maybe I could walk
you home…if you’re not driving that is.”

“I don’t know…”

“Come on,” Spike said with a smile. “We’re going to be living together.
And I promise to behave myself.”

‘Well, that’s a given.’

“Sure,” Buffy agreed with a smile of her own as Spike led her out of the
restaurant.

‘Well,’ Buffy thought. ‘At least you’ll get a new friend out of this.’

Chapter 2 – Moving Day


Buffy figured she should probably get an idea of who Spike was, apart from what the woman he was with had told her before in the bathroom.

‘So what if he’s gay? They usually tend to be incredibly sweet. And maybe there will even be perks to it. We can go out shopping together, he can help me judge other guys- this might be fun after all,’ she thought before frowning. ‘Is he going to bring back other guys to the apartment? Uh oh.’

“So, luv, what’s your story?” Spike asked, looking at her, trying not to stare too much at the beauty that radiated off of her in waves.

‘I get to live with this woman. There really must be a God.’

“Well, I’m 21 and a student at the college here in Sunnydale,” she began to explain. “I used to room with my boyfriend, but he and I broke up not too long ago, hence I was in need of a roommate.” She looked at him, smiling. “And that’s where you come in.” Spike couldn’t help but smile back at her, silently making a note to thank her ex-boyfriend, if he ever met him, for letting him live with her instead.

“But other than that, there’s not too much to my past,” she shrugged. “I grew up in Los Angeles and moved here for college three years ago. It’s a much nicer place here, I think. I miss home sometimes, but Sunnydale has been good to me.”

‘It’s been good to me, too, since I met you,’ he thought, somewhat surprised at how attracted he was to her, after such a short period of time.

“What about you, Spike?” she asked curiously. “What’s a guy like you doing in this small town?”

“Well, I got offered a job on a construction crew a couple of weeks ago and decided to go for it,” he said. “My friend Xander knew I wanted to move, so I figured why not.”

“Why did you want to move, if you don’t mind me asking?” Buffy asked hesitantly, not wanting to push too hard for details. She definitely didn’t want to scare him away yet, when he hadn’t even moved in.

“Dru, my ex,” he answered. Buffy raised an eyebrow. “Bad break-up. I couldn’t stay.”

‘Drew? What kind of guy would give up a hottie like Spike?’

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, looking down at the sidewalk as they continued their way back to her apartment. Well, their apartment. “It’s not my business.”

“I don’t mind,” he shrugged. “Sounds like we both had bad relationships.” Buffy nodded. “So, are you single?” She looked at him.

‘See, most girls would think he’s flirting with me, but nope, he digs guys. How come the cute ones are always gay? Is that some type of cosmic joke?’

“Yeah, I’m single,” she answered. “What about you?” He nodded.

‘Good, he shouldn’t bring anyone home,’ she thought. ‘For a while, at least. Hopefully.’

Little did she know that Spike was thinking the exact same thing.

As they reached the front door of her apartment, a slightly awkward silence engulfed them as Spike nervously shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Well, I’ll let you go inside,” Spike said, looking at her. “What time should I be here to move in tomorrow?”

“Whenever you’d like,” Buffy answered. “Here, let me just go inside and get you the extra key.” She unlocked the door and went inside, as Spike stood in the doorway, watching her move around.

‘I love the way her golden hair bounces. It’s…effulgent.’

Buffy briefly gave him a funny look, before waving him inside. “You can come in. It’s not like you need an invitation.”

“Huh?” he asked, breaking out of his daze. “Oh, right. Sorry,” he replied before taking a couple of steps in.

She walked over to him with the key in her hand, giving it to him. He smiled, his fingers brushing against hers lightly before they pulled away and Spike put it on his key ring.

“How about around nine?” he asked. “I can bring us breakfast.” She smiled.

‘I think I’m going to like this roommate thing. Much more than being with Riley, that’s for sure.’

“Nine sounds perfect,” she answered, walking with him towards the door. “I can help you unpack.”

“I’m sure you have better things to do than to help me unload my stuff,” he smiled, stopping at the door.

“Nonsense,” she replied, smiling back at him. He looked into her eyes.

‘Heaven help me. I could get lost in those eyes. The way they sparkle when she smiles is enough to do me in,’ he thought, pausing. ‘But what a glorious demise.’

“We’ll see how you feel when you see how much I’m moving,” Spike said, opening the door again. “Well, I’ll see you in the morning then. Good night, Buffy,” he said softly, leaning forward slightly, before stopping himself from kissing any part of her face, deciding that he didn’t want to scare her off.

Spike backed away, toward the door, as he warned himself, not wanting to ruin a good thing when it was practically hitting him in the face.

“Good night, Spike,” she said, smiling softly. “Good luck packing.” He nodded and walked away, leaving. She went back inside her apartment and locked the door behind her before leaning back against it.

‘He must be gay. He didn’t even try to kiss me on the cheek. After we shared what could’ve been considered a moment,’ she thought, sighing. ‘Or he’s just being a gentleman. Oh, who are you kidding, Buffy? He’s gay, and there’s nothing you can do about that. You can’t just change someone’s orientation.’

She walked towards her room and sat on her bed, looking through the window at the town that surrounded her.

“I’m rooming with a gay, Billy Idol wannabe,” she said quietly, shaking her head in disbelief.

'Too bad Riley's not around to see this. He wouldn't believe it.' She hesitated. 'Even I don't believe it.'

* * * * *

Buffy opened the door the next morning with a bright smile on her face.
Spike involuntarily swallowed as he took in her cut-offs and midriff baring
tank top. He felt a twinge of arousal as she opened the door wide to let
him enter.

“Good morning,” she said in a bright mood, tilting her head and letting her
long blonde ponytail swish around her shoulders.

“Morning, luv,” he said in a husky whisper before clearing his throat and
holding up a bag of food, trying to get his mind off of other things. “Breakfast.”

“Great!” Buffy said, practically bouncing toward the kitchen as she pulled
out glasses, plates, and orange juice to set on the table. Spike had to
suppress a groan as she reached upward onto the tallest shelf to get the
glasses. He could have offered to help, obviously being the taller of the
two, but then he wouldn’t get to admire how her shirt slid up her torso,
showing off her toned stomach.

“Did you get all packed?” she asked, glancing at him as she began to pour
two tall glasses of juice.

“Uh, yeah,” he replied, forcing himself to snap back to the present and stare at her eyes as he
sat down at the table. “My friend Xander came over and helped me load it
all this morning.”

“You didn’t have to work?” Buffy asked, sitting down next to him.

“Not until tomorrow. Xand wanted to give me some time to settle in.”

“That’s nice,” Buffy said with a soft smile, wondering if there was more to
this friendship with Xander than he was letting on about. She decided now wasn’t the time to ask.

Spike pulled out several breakfast sandwiches and hashbrowns as Buffy raised
an eyebrow at him. Spike saw her look and glanced down at the four
sandwiches on the table. “Sorry,” he said with a smile. “I didn’t know
what you would like, so I just ordered a variety."

Buffy shrugged before reaching across the table and grabbing two of the
sandwiches. “No problem,” she said, unwrapping one and taking a huge bite
out of it before seeing Spike’s look. “I’m not picky about what I eat,”
she said, swallowing the mouthful. “And I have a big appetite.”

“Good to know,” Spike said with a grin before unwrapping his own sandwich.
“Now I know to label all my food,” he continued, laughing when Buffy threw
her discarded wrapper at him.

* * * * *

Spike and Buffy spent a leisurely hour unloading the boxes from the truck
Spike rented. Neither in a hurry, since Buffy didn’t have class that day
and Spike wouldn’t be working. When all of the boxes were successfully
stored in his room, he met Buffy out at the truck and smiled as she sat on
the edge, kicking her feet like a little girl.

He glanced in the truck, seeing only the furniture left. “Thanks for the
help, luv.”

“We’re not finished yet,” she said, hopping up from her seat and boosting
herself into the truck before walking over to the couch that would be going
in his room.

“Don’t worry about it,” Spike said, shaking his head. “I’ll have someone
come over and help me tonight.”

“It’s really no problem,” she said with a smile, waiting for him to climb
into the truck.

“It’s okay,” Spike said, waving his hand in dismissal. “I don’t want you
getting hurt.”

Spike realized his poor choice of words a moment too late. “So you think a
girl will get hurt, just because she’s a girl?”

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Spike backtracked. “It’s just…well…I…I have
this bad tendency of sticking my foot in my mouth.”

Buffy smiled at his explanation but wasn’t about to back down. “Get your
ass in the truck, bleach boy.”

Spike chuckled, hopping into the truck and walking over to his side of the
couch. “If you need a break, let me know.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow before lifting her end of the couch before Spike
even had a grip on his. She led them down the small ramp and into the
building, never once saying a word or complaining- although Spike did come
close several times.

Finally reaching the apartment, they set the couch down against one wall in
his bedroom before Buffy turned those wide green eyes on him. “Ready to
get the bed?”

Spike looked at her in disbelief. “What are you? Wonder Woman?”

Buffy giggled, skipping out of the room as Spike trudged behind her.

* * * * *

Two hours later, Buffy was lying on Spike’s bed, lazily flipping through a
magazine as Spike unpacked his things. He was happy she seemed so content to spend time with him, and she already appeared to be comfortable in his presence. Something about that gave Spike a warm feeling.

“So what’s your major, pet?” he asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

“Art,” Buffy said, looking into his eyes and noticing how blue they were.

“An artist. Well, I’m impressed,” Spike replied, throwing a winning smirk
her way and smiling when she blushed. “I thought most artists like to
showcase their work. Where’s yours?”

“My room,” she said, gesturing to the ceiling. “I didn’t think it would be
fair to subject my new roommate to my finger-paintings.”

“I hardly think they’re finger-paintings if it’s your major.”

Buffy shrugged, turning her attention back to her magazine as Spike stood
up. “Well, I think I’m going to hit the showers.”

Buffy felt her mouth go dry at the thought of him standing under a cascade
of hot water, droplets flowing down his skin, steam rising up around him…

‘Stop it, Buffy!’ she inwardly yelled at herself, standing up.

“I’ll go make us some lunch.”

“Good idea,” Spike said with a smile as he stripped off his soaked t-shirt.

Buffy felt all the air leave her body as she looked at the exposed muscles
of his chest, letting her gaze travel downward to his chiseled abs, licking her lips before
backing toward the door, wringing her hands together as she walked. “Yeah…I’ll just go and-“

Buffy stopped as she ran into the door. Pushing it open, she gave Spike a
small, embarrassed smile. “I’ll just go…enjoy your shower.”

Spike smiled as she left the room. ‘She’s checking you out, that’s the
first step.’

Buffy smacked her head repeatedly against the palm of her hand. ‘Stupid
Buffy! Don’t go ogling your roommate. Especially when there’s no
possibility of anything happening with him!’

Chapter 3 – Quality Time


After they finished eating lunch, Buffy cleared away their dishes, taking them to the sink.

‘She wasn’t kidding about having a big appetite. For being so petite, she sure can pack it away. But she still has the body of a goddess,’ Spike thought, smiling.

They both heard a knock on the door, as Spike went over and opened it. A blonde man not much younger than him was standing there, unabashedly staring up and down Spike’s body.

‘Who the bloody hell is this?’ he thought, feeling uncomfortable at the scrutiny. ‘He’s not dating Buffy, right? I’d hope not, because I think this bloke might be gay.’

“Hi, Andrew,” Buffy said, approaching the two men. She couldn’t help but giggle when she saw how Andrew was appraising Spike.

‘It would be funny if they hooked up. Although, I think Andrew might be too much of a nerd for Spike.’ She paused. ‘What exactly is Spike’s type? A sophisticated kind of guy? But didn’t he say that his friend Xander was in construction? So maybe a muscular guy?’ She mentally chided herself. ‘Stop it, Buffy. You shouldn’t be thinking like this.’

“Hey, Buffy,” Andrew said, tearing his eyes off of Spike for a second to look at her before returning his gaze to Spike. “And who are you?”

“Spike,” he said, extending a hand. Andrew shook it, but when he didn’t seem like he was going to let go, Spike pulled it back and shoved both of his hands in his pockets. Buffy bit her lip to keep from laughing.

‘I think this is going to be quite a nice living situation. Andrew can stalk Spike, and I can continue to ogle him, knowing that I’ll never have him,’ she thought before frowning. ‘Besides, you don’t need a relationship right now. Not so soon after Riley.’ She paused again. ‘Or maybe that’s exactly what you need.’

“I’ve got some stuff to catch up on,” Spike said, looking at Buffy. She nodded, and he quickly walked away to his room, shutting the door behind him.

“That’s your new roommate?” Andrew squealed, grinning from ear-to-ear. “He’s gorgeous! With a body like that, I bet he has the pectorals of Viggo Mortenson.”

‘Oh, he really does,’ Buffy thought happily. ‘But Viggo has nothing on Spike.’ She paused. ‘Stop that!’ she chided herself again.

“So, what can I do for you, Andrew?” Buffy asked, trying to steer the conversation off of Spike.

“I saw you helping someone move in before and wanted to see who it was,” Andrew smiled. “And boy, am I happy I did! How come you have such good luck when it comes to finding guys?”

“Au contraire,” Buffy replied sadly. “I have horrible luck.” She leaned closer to Andrew. “Spike’s gay.”

“Really?” Andrew shrieked as Buffy nodded. “I thought I caught a vibe there, but I wasn’t sure.”

‘Is Andrew beaming?’ Buffy thought, raising an eyebrow. ‘Oh dear, he’ll be devastated when Spike starts dating someone else.’ She frowned. ‘So will I. Not that I have a chance, but…Buffy, you really need a man in your life. Of the straight variety.’

“Can you maybe put in a good word for me?” Andrew asked. Buffy hesitantly nodded, trying her best not to laugh at how excited he seemed. “Thanks! You’re a peach.” He sighed, smiling. “Well, I’m going to head back to the apartment. See you two around.” He walked down the hallway to his apartment as Buffy shut her door.

‘Time to go talk to Spike,’ she thought. ‘Hopefully Andrew didn’t make him want to move.’

She walked to his room and knocked on the door before opening it, seeing Spike standing in front of his open window, smoking. He looked at her and Buffy finally let herself laugh at what had just happened.

“I don’t think it’s bleedin’ funny,” Spike said, flicking the cigarette out of the window.

“Sure it is!” she said, crumbling into hysterics. “He was sizing you up like you were his prey!” She sank to the ground, bowled over laughing, clutching her stomach and letting tears roll down her cheeks. “I wish I would’ve taped that!” She tried calming down, catching her breath slightly before laughing again. “He compared you…to Viggo Mortenson!” Spike started chuckling before going over to her and helping her up, both of them laughing.

‘She’s beautiful when she laughs. Drop dead gorgeous.’ He smiled. ‘She’s always like that, though.’

“Sorry,” she said, finally composing herself, wiping off her cheeks, looking up at Spike’s eyes. She noticed how he was looking back at her and was surprised.

‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen a gay man look at me adoringly,’ she thought. She cleared her throat and took a slight step back, noticing how Spike broke out of his daze.

“Is he a friend of yours?” Spike asked, sad that she moved away from him a little, before frowning, wondering if she wasn’t interested in him.

“Not really,” she said before grinning. “He lives just down the hall.” Spike frowned, and she started laughing again.

“Just keep on laughing, luv,” Spike said sternly, crossing his arms. On the inside, he loved it.

‘Any chance to see her be happy like that is fine with me, even if it’s at my expense.’

“Well, I’ll let you return to whatever it is you ‘had to catch up on’,” Buffy said, heading for the door, still giggling a little. “I’ll be up in my room…Viggo.” She broke down laughing again as she left, and he heard her upstairs even a couple of minutes later.

'Yeah, you think it’s so funny,’ Spike thought with a smile, shaking his head. ‘How would you like it if a gay guy was interested in you, pet?'

* * * * *

A few days later, Buffy rubbed her neck in exhaustion as she walked through the front door of
her apartment. She had been studying at the library for the past three
hours, and she was physically and mentally wiped out from staring at stacks
of books and rows of computer screens.

Tossing her keys on the kitchen counter, Buffy smiled when she saw Spike
sitting on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. It had been a week since he
moved in, and the two had settled into a comfortable relationship, enjoying
the opportunity to spend time with each other, instead of going out most
nights. Buffy was thankful to have gained not only a roommate, but a man
who was turning into a very good friend.

‘Plus, when the guy is incredibly hot, that’s just a bonus…even if he is off
limits.’

“I was beginning to get worried, pet,” Spike said, moving over so Buffy had
a place to sit down.

“Sorry,” Buffy replied, collapsing on the couch next to him and immediately
curling herself into a ball and laying her head on his shoulder.

Spike smiled at the tender gesture, slipping his arm around her shoulders as
her hand snaked around to grab a handful of popcorn. “Hey,” he said with a
smile. “Go get your own.”

Buffy giggled, deliberately popping the kernels in her mouth before looking
to see what he was watching.

“You like ‘Friends’?” Buffy asked, turning to look at him.

“One of the only things you bleedin’ Yanks have going for you,” Spike said
good-naturedly, smiling when Buffy smacked him on the chest. “Why? You
don’t like it?”

“No, I do,” Buffy replied, nodding her head before turning her attention
back to the TV. “It has its high points, aside from being funny, that
is.”

“Such as?” Spike asked, eating some more popcorn.

“Well, the whole friends thing for one. All of the meaningful relationships
were as a result of strong friendships. I think that’s the best way to
really be with somebody. You should really get to know the person beforehand- it just seems to have a better result in the end.” Spike didn’t say anything as Buffy turned to face him. “You don’t agree?”

“No, I think you’re right,” Spike said with a reassuring nod. “But what
happens if they break up? They lose the friendship.”

“Not necessarily,” Buffy argued. “I guess it depends on the break-up and if
both want to salvage the relationship. Look at Ross and Rachel. They got
together, broke up, got together again, broke up again, got married, got
divorced and had a baby.”

“You really do like this show,” Spike said with a smile.

“It’s fun. It’s a nice way to unwind at the end of the day.”

‘Well, if I have to be friends with you for a while, that’s fine with me,’
he thought. ‘As long as no other bloke swoops in and tries to steal you
away.’

“Where were you tonight, pet?” Spike asked, deciding to change the subject.

“The library,” Buffy replied with a groan, letting her head fall back on the
couch. “I swear it’s just a modern torture device for college students.”

Spike chuckled. “You’re probably right.” His smile slowly faded as he
watched her squeeze her eyes shut as her hand went up to her neck. “You
okay?”

“I’ve been better,” Buffy murmured with a sigh.

“On the floor,” Spike said, moving to sit up straight.

“What?”

“Get on the floor.”

Buffy did as she was told, watching him in confusion. Her face slowly
relaxed as his hands began moving along her neck and back, working the
stress out of her muscles.

Buffy moaned in pleasure, resting her head on his leg, creating a more
intimate setting as Spike fought his growing arousal while still trying to
continue his movements.

“You have magic hands,” Buffy murmured in a breathy voice.

Spike bit his tongue against any sexual response. Focusing his attention on
her, he fought the urge to let his lips brush against the exposed skin of
the back of her neck, remembering what she said about being friends first.
If that was important to her, then he wasn’t about to let the opportunity
pass him by.

“You’ve turned into the best roommate of all time,” Buffy said with a smile,
leaning her head back to look at Spike upside down.

“Is that right?” Spike replied with a smile, unable to resist as he leaned
forward and playfully kissed the tip of her nose.

Buffy giggled at the affectionate side of him, slowly getting to her feet
and stretching as Spike suppressed a groan.

She resumed her seat next to Spike, giving him a kiss on the cheek in
thanks before grabbing the bowl of popcorn and putting it on her lap.

“Hey!” Spike cried in mock indignation. “I told you to get your own.”

“But this is already here,” Buffy said with a pout, immediately smiling when
Spike grinned at her. “And you do make the best popcorn.”

Spike chuckled, unable to resist her. They turned their attention back to
the screen as ‘Friends’ ended, only to be replaced by an episode of ‘Will &
Grace.’

‘Well, isn’t this ironic,’ Buffy thought with a raised eyebrow. ‘Me and my
gay roommate, watching a show about a woman and her gay roommate.’

Buffy smiled slightly as she shook her head a little. Spike glanced at her
but didn’t say anything as the show began.

“This is a good show,” Buffy said after a few minutes.

“Yeah,” Spike agreed. “But the guy doesn’t seem that gay.”

“Jack?” Buffy asked in surprise. “He’s the stereotype of gayness. Even more
so.”

“Not Jack, the other one.”

“Oh, Will,” Buffy said with a nod. “I guess they wanted to have diversity.
Not everyone is that open about it, right?” she asked, looking at him.

“I guess not,” Spike agreed.

Both looked up after a moment when there was a knock on the door. Buffy
got up, walking over to the door. “Who is it?” she asked with her hand on
the doorknob.

“It’s me.”

Buffy began unlocking the door before she heard Spike’s voice.

“Who’s ‘me’?”

“Our own personal Jack,” Buffy said, smiling at Spike’s confused look.
“It’s Andrew.”

“Bloody hell,” Spike muttered.

A/N This chapter has a lot of references to the show ‘Will & Grace,’ so if you’ve never seen the show before, we’re sorry for any confusion. Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews, keep ‘em coming!



Chapter 4 – ‘Will & Grace’


“Hello,” Buffy said, opening the door to reveal Andrew. Spike sank down on the couch.

‘He’s going to crash our night, isn’t he?’ he thought bitterly. ‘Bloody ponce.’

“Hey, Buffy,” Andrew said, looking around the apartment until he spotted platinum hair poking up from the couch. “Spike! What a surprise.” Buffy giggled quietly, watching Andrew head over to Spike.

“Andrew,” Spike said, merely nodding in acknowledgement as Buffy walked over to them.

“Would you like a drink, Andrew?” she asked. “Or a refill for you, Spike?”

“I’ll have a beer,” Spike said, wishing he had something stronger to drink suddenly.

“Me too,” Andrew said. Buffy raised an eyebrow and went to the kitchen area.

‘I suppose having him here for a little while wouldn’t be too bad. I mean, the way he acts around Spike is entertaining,” she thought, smiling. “I love watching him squirm.’

She grabbed two beers and a soda for herself before going back to them, dispersing the bottles to the guys. Andrew was sitting on the couch where Buffy had been prior, so she sat on a chair opposite them. Spike frowned, wishing she wouldn’t have let Andrew in.

‘Can’t I just ask him to leave?’ he thought, looking at the TV. “But then Buffy would think I’m a jerk. Guess I’m stuck sitting next to him.’

Buffy looked at Spike and smiled at how uncomfortable he appeared. ‘This is almost better than the show.’

Spike looked at her and shot her a look, as she looked back at the TV, smirking. He smiled, too, and decided it could really be worse.

“I couldn’t ever date a guy like Jack,” Andrew suddenly announced. Both blondes looked at him. “I’d rather date someone who isn’t too openly gay.”

‘Right, because you want to be the woman in the relationship,’ Spike thought, smiling to himself.

“Someone like Will?” Buffy asked conversationally. Andrew nodded. “I like Will. He seems like a good man.”

Andrew smiled, nodding. “He’s a lawyer, he dresses nicely, and he can cook,” Andrew replied. “What more could you want?”

“A guy who will treat you nicely?” Spike asked. Andrew looked at him. “Have you seen how Will treats Jack? I mean, sure, he’s great with Grace, but he can be kind of an ass sometimes.” Buffy stared at Spike, surprised that he was talking about that.

‘Has he been in a relationship with someone like Will? That Drew guy maybe?’ she thought. ‘I can’t picture him being like Jack in a relationship, but you never know.’

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Andrew said, smiling at Spike, who in turn looked back at the TV, somewhat angry that he said what he had.

‘You’re comparing Will Truman, a fictitious character, to Dru,’ he thought sadly. ‘You really do have issues, mate.’ He paused. ‘But Dru was genuinely an evil woman. At least Will has a good side to him.’

“Do you guys think I’m like Jack?” Andrew asked, tilting his head and studying Jack on the screen, shrieking in outrage over something Will had accused him of. Buffy and Spike shared a look.

“You don’t have a Karen, so no,” Buffy said, not wanting to hurt his feelings by saying he was exactly like Jack. Andrew looked at her and smiled.

“I like Karen,” he said. “She’s got a lot of character. She can be really sweet sometimes.”

“Before she says the wrong thing and inadvertently hurts someone’s feelings,” Spike replied. Buffy looked at him, and he was reminded of the comment he had made in the moving truck about him not wanting her to hurt herself by doing any heavy lifting. He smiled weakly at her, but she flashed him a bright smile.

‘That will be my demise. If she keeps doing that, I’m in this for life.’

“She’s a powerful woman,” Buffy smirked, looking at Andrew. “She’s probably not too worried about who she hurts, and she does what she wants to. She’s taking a fun approach to life.”

“I wish I could do that,” Andrew said, looking down. Spike looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Why don’t you?” he asked. “You’re young, you seem to have a pretty good head on your shoulders- what’s keeping you from living the life you want to?”

Buffy was shocked. ‘Is Spike taking a liking to Andrew? Is hell freezing over?’ She was tempted to look out the window to double-check even. ‘Spike’s being nice to him. Wow.’

“I…I don’t know why,” Andrew answered. “I guess I’m just afraid to go for what I want.” The telephone rang, and Buffy got up to answer it.

“Well, what is it that you want?” Spike asked. Andrew looked at him and smiled.

‘That was a loaded question, Spike. Why would you set yourself up like that?’

“Are you single?” Andrew asked Spike, trying to be casual. Spike restrained himself from smacking his forehead.

“Yes,” Spike answered. “But…Andrew, you’re…not really my type. I’m sorry.” Andrew sighed.

“I know, but I figured there was no harm in asking,” he shrugged, standing up.

“You’re right,” Spike replied with a nod. “Never any harm in it.”

“Well, thank you for the insight tonight, Spike. It’s really cool of you.” Spike nodded, watching Andrew head over to Buffy, who had just gotten off the phone.

“Are you leaving already?” she asked, surprised. Andrew nodded. “Did something happen?”

“He told me I’m not his type,” Andrew answered sadly. “Not that I’m surprised, but…it’s okay. I have some stuff I have to do at home as it is. I just wanted to stop in and say hi to you both.”

“Well, have a good night then, Andrew,” Buffy said, feeling sorry for him. She let him out and locked the door behind her, going over to the couch to sit beside Spike.

‘I hope Spike was at least nice about it,’ she thought. ‘I’m sure he was. He’s a good guy, after all.’

“Andrew’s a good kid,” Buffy said. “Don’t you think so?” He nodded, drinking some of his beer.

“I hope I gave him some good advice before,” Spike replied. “You know, getting him on track.”

“I’m sure you did,” she smiled softly, looking at him. He smiled back at her. “Oh! I forgot that ‘ER’ is on soon!” She grabbed the bowl of popcorn again and set it on her lap. “I liked the old seasons the best, but these aren’t too bad.”

“Let me guess, you had a yen for George Clooney?” Spike asked, amused. She shrugged.

“He wasn’t so bad,” she said. “But I used to have the biggest crush on Noah Wyle.” He frowned.

“Yeah, I bet you did,” he said quietly, taking a handful of popcorn. She smiled.

“This should become a routine,” she said, looking at him. “Must-see TV, popcorn…”

“With or without an appearance by Andrew?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. She simply giggled in response, munching on several popped kernels and paying attention to the show.

‘I vote us being alone together becomes a routine. How about you, luv?’ he thought, sighing.

Chapter 5 – Meet the Family


“Spike!” Buffy yelled from across the street, waving in his direction.

“Whoa!” Xander muttered, elbowing Spike in the side. “Who’s the hottie
calling for you?”

Spike glared at Xander before turning his attention back to Buffy as she
crossed the street and jogged toward the construction site.

“She’s my roommate, Harris, so lay off,” he growled possessively.

“Roommate, huh?” Charles Gunn asked with a smile. “Well, she can room with
me anytime.”

Spike spun around to give his friends a look. “She’s a nice girl. I don’t
want anyone harassing her, understand?”

“Since when do we harass women, Spike?” Xander replied.

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” Gunn said, slapping Xander’s shoulder. “It means our boy has it bad
for his roommate.”

Spike didn’t respond as Buffy came within hearing distance.

“Hey!” she said with a bright smile, blushing at the number of men who were
staring at her.

“Morning, luv,” Spike replied, noticing the blush and turned around to shoot
a look at his coworkers who didn’t hear his speech to Xander and Gunn.
Turning his attention back to Buffy, he offered her a smile. “Is something
wrong?”

“Oh, no,” Buffy said, shaking her head before glancing around again. “I’m
not going to get you in trouble by being here, am I?” she asked worriedly.

“No, pet,” Spike said with a smile, placing his hand on the small of her
back and leading her over to his friends. “This ponce is the boss, and he
surely doesn’t mind when a beautiful woman drops by. Xander Harris, meet
Buffy Summers.”

Buffy blushed at being called beautiful, but brushed it off, offering both men a smile and
shaking Xander’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you. Spike’s told me a lot about you.”

“All good, I hope,” Xander replied with a friendly smile.

“I plead the fifth,” Buffy said with a laugh.

Spike frowned at the flirty behavior, turning her attention to his other
friend. “And this is Charles Gunn.”

“Hi,” Buffy greeted, shaking Gunn’s hand. “I haven’t heard anything about
you,” she said, shooting Spike a look.

“I’ll consider that good news then,” Gunn said with a laugh. “It’s nice to
meet you, Buffy.”

“You too,” Buffy said with a smile before turning back to Spike. “I was on
my way to class and saw you working. My mom wanted to know if we wanted to come over and eat tonight.”

“In Los Angeles?”

“Well, being that it’s where she lives…yeah.”

“She wants to meet me?” Spike asked in surprise.

“Of course, silly,” Buffy said with a playful smack on his shoulder. “She
wants to make sure her daughter’s not living with a serial killer.”

“That’s encouraging.”

“Sorry,” Buffy said in a tone that didn’t imply she was sorry at all. “If
you don’t want to go, I’ll understand. I know it’s a Friday and you
probably have other plans, but-“

“I’ll be there, pet.”

“Great! Well, I better go or I’ll be late to class. It was nice meeting
both of you.”

Gunn and Xander returned the sentiment as Spike put a hand on her back,
leading her off the site. “I really hope I didn’t bother you, Spike,” Buffy
said, turning to him.

“No worries. Feel free to stop by anytime. I’ll see you when you get
home from class.”

“Okay,” Buffy replied, giving Spike a quick hug and turning a brilliant
shade of red when all of the guys began cheering. “I’ll see you later.”

Spike smiled as Buffy hurried down the street before turning and flipping
off his crewmembers.

* * * * *

“Bloody hell,” Spike gasped, breathing heavily and gripping the door handle
as Buffy came to a screeching halt in front of her mother’s house.

“Oh, stop being so dramatic, you big baby,” Buffy said, throwing the car into
park and getting out.

Spike followed her, trying to regulate his breathing. “No wonder you never
drive around Sunnydale.”

“Yeah, well, Mom said I could have a car as long as I only used it for
coming to visit her.”

“Thank God for small favors,” Spike muttered under his breath. “Although, I
would have opted for a bus ticket.”

“Hey!” Buffy cried indignantly. “I resent that.”

“Resent whatever you want, luv. I’m driving home.”

Buffy shot him a mocking glare as she walked onto the front porch.

“You sure I look okay?” Spike asked, fidgeting with his khaki pants and
black button-down shirt.

“You look great, Spike,” Buffy replied, knocking on her mom’s door. “I told
you that you didn’t need to get all dressed up.”

“This from the girl in the dress.”

Not that Spike was complaining. The pale blue sundress accentuated all of
Buffy’s curves to perfection, setting off her golden tan and blonde hair.

Buffy was about to respond when the door swung open. “Hey, Dawnie!” Buffy
said excitedly, hugging her little sister.

“Buffy!” the younger girl squealed. “You haven’t been home in months.”

“It hasn’t been that long,” Buffy replied, grabbing Spike’s hand and leading
him forward. “Dawn, I want you to meet my friend, Spike.”

“Hi,” Dawn said with a smile, shooting Buffy a look that was clearly asking,
‘Friend?’

Spike greeted the younger of the Summers women before turning his attention
to an attractive woman walking down the stairs. He knew it had to be
Buffy’s mother- the resemblance was too strong to be anyone else.

“Mom!” Buffy cried excitedly, running into the house and wrapping her mom in
a hug. “It’s so good to see you.”

“You too, dear,” she said with a smile. “And who is this handsome young man
you’ve brought with you?”

“Oh, sorry,” Buffy said sheepishly. “Mom, this is Spike. Spike meet my mom,
Joyce.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Summers.”

“Now, you heard my daughter. It’s Joyce,” she said with a smile, giving him
a warm hug.

Spike blushed as Joyce pulled away. Something that did not go unnoticed by
Buffy, and she found it endearing.

“How was the drive?” Joyce asked, laughing when Spike visibly paled.

“He’s just being a silly,” Buffy said, waving her hand dismissively. “It
was fine.”

“Yeah, as long as people could see her coming.”

Joyce and Dawn laughed as Buffy gave Spike a look.

“Well,” Joyce said, clapping her hands together. “Who’s hungry?”

* * * * *

An hour later, Buffy stood in the kitchen with her mother, helping with the
slices of pie they were having for dessert.

“I like him, Buffy,” Joyce said softly. “You two seem to get along so well,
and he seems like such a nice young man. Much more impressive than Riley.”

“I’m not dating him, Mom,” Buffy replied, sitting down at the island.

“Why not?”

“I’m not his type.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Buffy. You two seem like you’re made for each other.
I’ve only known him an hour, and even I can tell that. He seems very
protective over you.”

“He is,” Buffy agreed with a nod. “He’s a great guy. He’s handsome, and
charming, and genuinely nice...and he likes men.”

Joyce’s eyes shot up to meet her daughter’s. “What?”

“You heard me,” Buffy replied with a sigh, looking at her hands.

“Oh,” Joyce said with wide eyes before a small smile played on her lips.
“Maybe you could convert him.”

“Mom!” Buffy cried, throwing a dishtowel at her mother before they were both
consumed with laughter.

* * * * *

Eventually, it was around eight o’clock, and Buffy wanted to head home. “Well, I think Spike has to work, don’t you?” He nodded. “We should probably go then.” All four of them stood up, going towards the door. Buffy hugged her kid sister. “Bye, Dawnie. Take care of yourself.” Dawn smiled up at her sister. “And I promise to be back again soon.”

“We’d both like that,” Joyce replied, hugging her daughter before hugging Spike. “It’d be nice for you to join us again also, Spike. It was lovely meeting you.” Spike smiled at her. “Take care of my daughter for me, and make sure she eats.” Spike chuckled.

“Trust me, your daughter eats,” he replied, looking at Buffy, who shot him a look, trying not to smile. “She eats way more than I do, I can assure you.” Buffy slapped his arm. “Hey! Oww! At least you hit like a girl.” She was about to hit him again when he grabbed her wrist. “Now now, no more of that. I’m the one driving you home, don’t forget.”

“Thank God,” Joyce said quietly. Buffy looked at her mother indignantly. “Have a safe trip.”

“Good night, Mom,” she said, opening the door. “See you both soon.”

“Nice meeting you two,” Spike said before following her to the car. Both Dawn and Joyce watched them go to the car, smiling.

“He’s a keeper, don’t you think?” Joyce asked. Dawn nodded vigorously. “Too bad he’s gay.” Dawn raised an eyebrow as Joyce closed the door.

“Wait, he’s what?” Dawn asked, watching her mother walk upstairs to her room.

In the meantime, Spike and Buffy got to her car. He held out his hand. She looked at it, confused.

“I need the keys, luv,” he said, looking at her expectantly. She frowned, crossing her arms. “Please?”

“You were being mean before,” she said sadly. “Apologize.” He smirked.

‘I can think of several good ways to make it up to her,’ he thought to himself.

“I’m tremendously sorry for embarrassing you in front of your family and saying you hit like a girl,” he said. She sighed and gave him the keys. “But in all fairness, you are a girl, so you should hit like one.” She frowned, but he opened the door for her, causing her to be surprised.

“Since when are you so chivalrous?” she joked, getting in. He smiled and shut the door before going over to the driver side and getting in, starting the car. “Wait, you have a California driver’s license, right?” He looked at her.

“How different can it be from driving in London?” he asked. Her eyes widened. “Just kidding, pet. I got my license shortly after I moved here. I know how you lot drive in the States. It’s not the right way, but then again, nothing here is the right way. Why couldn’t you all accept the metric system and measuring the temperature in Celsius?” She laughed.

“Maybe because we were sick of living by England’s dumb rules,” she offered, looking at him. He frowned and pulled away from her house as Buffy yawned and curled up in the seat.

“Might as well sleep, pet,” he said. “We’ve got a couple hours ahead of us.” She smiled graciously at him before shutting her eyes and dozing off.

‘And I love watching you sleep.’ He smiled and turned his attention back to the road.




A/N Hey guys! Here’s a little spoiler for you- Spike finds out what Buffy thinks in the next chapter, so make sure you review and it will get posted MUCH faster :-)

Chapter 6 – Coming Out


The next afternoon, Spike came home from a long day at work, looking forward to seeing his roommate.

‘She makes a bad day become so much better,’ he thought, smiling as he opened the door. He was surprised when he saw her at the kitchen table with a brunette man, laughing about something. ‘Who the bloody hell is that?’

Buffy looked up and saw Spike coming through the door. She smiled at him, but noticed the sad look on his face.

‘I wonder what’s wrong,’ she thought, standing up.

“Hey, Spike,” she said. He came over to them hesitantly. “Spike, this is Angel, a friend from my history class. Angel, this is Spike, my roommate.” Angel stood up, facing Spike.

The two men shook hands, sizing each other up. Buffy raised an eyebrow at the way Spike was studying Angel.

‘Oh God, he’s not attracted to him, is he?’ she thought, frowning. ‘No, he looks more jealous. Wait, that’s nonsense. Spike’s not jealous- he’s just being protective.’

“He’s just helping me study for our midterm next week,” she said, successfully getting the two to stop looking at each other.

‘Right, he’s just helping her study,’ Spike thought, trying to mask his anger.

“Sounds good,” Spike said finally. “Whatever helps you do well in school is fine by me.” She smiled at him. “I’ll let you two study then.” He walked away, going to his room and shutting the door before clenching his fists.

‘If he even touches her, I’ll rip his arms off and beat him to death with them.’

* * * * *

A couple of hours later, Angel left, and Buffy went to Spike’s room, surprised that he hadn’t left it since he returned home from work.

‘I hope he’s not mad at me,’ she thought. She knocked on the door and opened it up a crack, seeing Spike sitting on his bed, reading a magazine.

“Hey,” she said quietly. He looked at her and smiled. “How’s everything going?”

“Perfectly fine,” he answered. “Did you two finish up studying?” She nodded. “Good.”

“You don’t mind that I had him over, do you?” she asked, leaning against the doorframe.

‘Of course I do,’ he thought, furious. ‘I don’t want another man in my home. Our home.’ He smiled to himself. ‘I like the sound of that.’

“It’s okay,” he replied, putting down his magazine. “It’s your apartment, too, Buffy.”

“Thanks,” she smiled. “Hey, I was thinking of going shopping tomorrow. Would you maybe want to go along with me?”

‘Shopping? I hate shopping,’ he frowned. ‘But wait, does that include clothes shopping? Her trying on clothes? Why the bloody hell not?’

“Sure, I’d love to,” he said, smiling. “I enjoy shopping.”

‘Yep, he’s definitely gay,’ she thought sadly. ‘Straight guys don’t like shopping.’

“Great,” she replied. “Then it’s a date.” She left and went up to her room.

‘I really hope it is,’ he thought, smiling, opening his magazine again.
* * * * *

Spike leaned against the counter, suppressing a yawn as Buffy went through
bottle after bottle of perfume. He was holding five bags, all belonging to
her, and none containing any clothes. The woman had been to three shoe
stores and spent an hour in each one- now she had moved on to cosmetics.

“You’re not bored, are you, Spike?” she asked, sampling some lotion that she
liked.

“I’m just wondering where you get the money to pay for all this, since you
don’t work.”

“The joys of having an absentee father,” Buffy responded dryly. “You get a
birthday card and a credit card.”

“Something tells me you’d rather have your father,” Spike said gently.

Buffy shrugged, moving to another counter, obviously wanting to drop the
subject. “If you’re bored, we can always meet up a little later.”

“No,” Spike replied, shaking his head, not wanting to leave her company.
“I’m with you, wherever you go.”

“Great,” Buffy said, returning to the counter she had just vacated and
picking up the lotion. “What do you think?” she asked, holding her wrist
under his nose.

Spike closed his eyes as the scent of vanilla radiated off her skin. “It’s
perfect, luv,” he said softly, trying to control his arousal as she turned
around to pay for the bottle.

Twenty minutes later, they sat in the food court, splitting some French
fries. “So, how are you liking it here?” Buffy asked.

“In the mall?” he asked with a smile as Buffy threw a fry at him.

“In Sunnydale, Captain Peroxide.”

“Hey!” Spike cried indignantly. “This hair is all natural,” he finished
with a smile.

Buffy laughed as he threw the fry back at her. “Your roots are showing,”
she said with a giggle.

Spike raised an eyebrow at her. “Yours, too,” he said with a grin as
Buffy’s mouth dropped open.

“Are not!”

“So you admit it?”

Buffy growled playfully as she looked at him before crossing her arms over
her chest and looking away.

“Now, luv, don’t be mad,” Spike said with a smile, sliding his chair over to
her side of the table and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. His smile
broadened as she shrugged off his arm before his eyes lit up.

Buffy gasped when she felt his fingers tickling her ribs, squirming in her
seat as she tried to get away from the assault. “Spike, no,” she giggled,
pushing him away. “I give,” she cried, causing passers-by to look at them
with a smile, obviously thinking they were a happy couple, in love.
“Uncle…white flag…I give up…anything.”

Spike finally took pity on her as she began to gasp for air. He smiled,
grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the seat. “Come on. I know you’re
dying to get back in those stores.”

Buffy pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek before walking away, still holding
his hand.

“Oooh,” she said excitedly, pulling Spike faster as he struggled to hold
onto all of her bags.

“How did I get stuck carrying all of your bloody packages?”

“You’re the man,” she said, never slowing down.

“Why are you trying to rip my arm off, Summers?” he asked as she continued
to pull him down the corridor.

“I’m sorry, but Victoria’s Secret is up ahead, and I’ve really been needing
to go there.”

Spike’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head as he stared at her. ‘THIS is
why I’ve wasted my day shopping. Just to watch her walk around a lingerie
store and imagining what it looks like on her, will make my whole bloody week
worthwhile.’

Spike picked up his pace, practically pulling Buffy into the store before
she paused to look at one of the mannequins, wearing a black teddy. “That’s
nice,” Buffy commented as Spike swallowed hard.

‘Please tell me that she’s not waiting for my opinion, because my foot will
be shoved so far down my throat I’ll never see it again.’

But Buffy was already moving along to the next thing that happened to catch
her eye. Spike watched, surprised she wasn’t being at least a little bit
shy, as she began to go through rows of lacey panties and matching bras.
“What do you think?” she asked, holding up a pair of red lace boyshorts.

Spike closed his eyes for a brief moment, wondering if she was really asking
him. Opening his eyes, he saw her looking down at them before meeting his
gaze again. “Well?”

“Nice,” Spike said in a choked whisper, strategically placing the bags to
cover his growing erection.

“Great!” Buffy said brightly, grabbing several colors before moving on to
select different styles of chemises and slips. “Okay, I’m going to go try
some of these on- why don’t you sit down?”

Spike took a deep breath, trying to calm his overactive imagination.
“Umm…where?”

“Oh, sorry! You’ve probably never been in here. There’s some chairs in the
dressing area.”

Spike felt short of breath as he sat down, watching Buffy disappear into one
of the stalls.

‘This must be too good to be true,’ he thought as he stared at the row of
mirrors in front of him. Those thoughts soon changed when the door opened
to reveal Buffy in a white chemise. ‘I have to be dreaming, that’s the only
explanation,’ Spike thought as he watched her walk to the mirror, pivoting
slightly so she could see herself better.

“Does this look okay?” she asked, giving a little spin. Spike thought he
would pass out as the material fluttered slightly, giving it a nearly
transparent quality.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Buffy exclaimed, misreading his reaction. “Am I making you
uncomfortable?”

“No,” Spike said in a soft whisper, blinking rapidly to focus his eyesight.

“Oh good,” Buffy said with a relieved smile. “I guess I just figured with
you being gay, you wouldn’t mind seeing me like this.”

Spike felt his body jump as he comprehended what she had just told him.
“Excuse me?”

Buffy gasped. “Did you not want me to know? I’m sorry, Spike, it’s just
that when I ran into your date or ex…or whoever she was at the restaurant,
she told me. If you were trying to keep it a secret…”

Spike watched her, fading in and out between the reality that she thought he
was gay and the fact that she was standing in front of him, wearing
practically nothing.

“I mean,” Buffy continued, turning to look at her reflection. “It’s not
like I would be standing here if you were straight, since that wouldn’t be
the best of situations,” she said with a laugh. “I just figured you could
give me an unbiased opinion.”

Whatever made Spike say it, he knew he would later regret it, but something
about seeing her being so open with him, even if it was under false
pretenses, made the words come out of his mouth. “No…I don’t mind you
knowing, pet.”

Buffy smiled, blowing him a kiss as she disappeared into the dressing room.
Once she was out of sight, Spike’s head dropped into his hands. ‘Tell her
the truth, you ponce,’ he thought angrily. ‘It will only get worse if you
don’t tell her now.’

“You ready?” Buffy asked, reappearing.

“Yeah…let’s go.”

‘What the bloody hell have I done?’

Chapter 7 – Pretending


Buffy came home from her history midterm about a week later and sighed as she walked through the door. Spike was in the kitchen, grabbing a beer, when she walked in.

‘All right, mate, time to be on guard again,’ he thought. ‘You should’ve just admitted to her that day that you’re as straight as an arrow. That you’d rather shag her than a guy, but no, you set yourself up to play this game.’

“Hey, luv,” he said, noticing her weary expression. “Everything okay?”

She looked at him and smiled. “Well, I’m pretty sure I passed my test,” she said, coming over by him. He smiled back at her.

“I knew you would,” he replied. “You’ve been studying a lot for it. You and Angel both.”

‘Stupid sod has been here this last week, more than I have,’ he thought bitterly.

“Yeah, he helped me a lot,” she said, getting a soda for herself. “So, I was thinking I’d go out and pamper myself. You know, de-stress after the last few days. Since you so rudely pointed out that my roots are showing, I think I’m going to go get my hair redone. Want to come with me? They can bleach your hair back to its usual radioactive color.” He narrowed his eyes at her.

‘There’s no way you’d catch me in a poncy beauty salon,’ he thought, crossing his arms. ‘But that’s straight Spike, not gay Spike. Gay Spike would probably enjoy getting his hair done. Maybe it wouldn’t sting as bad as it usually does.’

“Sure,” he replied. “Sounds like a deal.”

“Great, it’s my treat, too,” she said with a smile. “Well, actually, it’s Dad’s treat. He just doesn’t know it yet.” Spike laughed and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She sighed quietly.

‘I wish more guys would do that,’ she thought sadly. ‘I love that sign of affection, even if it’s from an unattainable guy.’

“I’ll take you out for dinner then,” Spike offered. “We’ll make it a celebratory meal. On me.”

“Oh, I like the way you think,” she said. “We’ll get our hair done, dress up, and go out to eat. Three of my favorite things.” Spike laughed, seeing how her eyes sparkled. “I’ll just go and set up an appointment. Any day you’re free for the late afternoon hours?”

“How about Friday?” he asked. She nodded and grabbed the phone book, paging through it. He opened his beer and drank from it.

‘This charade shouldn’t be too hard to play into,’ he shrugged. ‘But I’ll have to come clean, and probably the sooner, the better.’

* * * * *

Later on that night, they were sitting on the couch, watching TV, when a re-run of “Will and Grace” came on. Buffy laughed to herself, shaking her head in amusement. He looked at her, confused.

“We’re so similar to this show,” she pointed out, looking back at him. “I’m Grace, you’re Will, and we’ve already established that Andrew is a dead-ringer for Jack.”

‘Does she really think I’m like Will?’ he asked himself. ‘Didn’t I express the fact before that Will isn’t always a nice guy?’ He paused. ‘Yes, well, I’ve been known to be quite a jerk on occasion, so maybe I am like Will. And isn’t that guy straight in real life? Right, I’m fine. I’m straight and I’m fine.’

“So is Andrew just going to walk in whenever he feels like it then?” Spike asked, motioning to the screen after Jack barged into Will’s apartment. Buffy giggled.

“I could give him a key,” she offered. “I’m sure I’ve got a spare one somewhere.” He growled, and she raised an eyebrow. “Did you just growl?” Spike averted his gaze and frowned. “No way! I’ve never heard you do that before. Do it again!” He raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not a dog who performs tricks for its owner,” he replied, trying to mask how embarrassed he was about her hearing that. “I won’t be commanded by my puppet-master, thanks.”

“I’m the master in this situation?” she asked jokingly. “What does that make you? My mistress?” Spike was shocked at what she said and felt slightly stunned when she burst out laughing. “Can guys be mistresses? That’d be hilarious!”

“Right, bloody funny,” he said, returning his attention to the show, watching how Will and Grace interacted.

‘See, they’re happy,’ he thought. ‘Buffy and I are happy, too, but there’s a connection there between them that she and I don’t have yet. How do I get to that level? She’s comfortable with me, which is good, but I don’t know if everything is right with us.’ He paused. ‘Probably because you’re lying to her, ponce.’

“Spike?” she asked suddenly, her laughter dying out. He looked at her. “We need a Karen.”

“I think three’s enough,” he replied. “I figure I’ve already got my hands full with you, luv.”

“Don’t forget Andrew,” she said. “He absolutely adores you.” She paused and grinned. “Hey, didn’t Jack and Will used to date?” She crumbled into hysterics again before the phone rang.

‘And my night is now complete,’ he thought sadly, shaking his head at the girl beside him.

* * * * *

After she hung up, she returned to sitting beside Spike, who was still intently watching the show.

“That was Mom,” she said. “She invited us over for dinner this weekend. If you’re up for it, at least.”

“Sure,” Spike replied, looking at her. “I like your mom. She’s a sweet bird.”

“And the British terms just keep on coming out of nowhere,” Buffy smiled. He chose to smile back at her instead of replying with a sharp, witty comment about her choice of diction half of the time.

‘It’s the same language, but I’d say Americans have definitely made English flawed.’

“Anyways, she invited Angel, and she said you could bring anyone you wanted, too,” Buffy said. Spike looked at her, trying to mask his feelings.

“You’re bringing Angel?” he asked. She shrugged. “What does that mean?”

“I’ll think about it,” she answered. “Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. Are you going to bring anyone? Mom seems to be interested in your type of guy.”

“Hold up- your mum knows I’m gay, too?” he asked, panicking as she nodded.

‘Bloody hell. I’ve dug myself in deep, haven’t I? Does the whole state think I’m gay?’

“Is that okay?” she asked quickly. “I mean, she asked why we weren’t dating before, so I kind of told her. I’m sorry if I shouldn’t have, but it just happened. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, pet,” he replied with a sigh, sinking down on the couch. “The truth is bound to come out sometime.”

She saw how sad he looked and cuddled up against him. He smiled softly as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her to him.

‘Well, as long as she’s still with me, I think I can pretend to be gay for a while.’




A/N Just so you know, we’re planning on stringing Spike along for a little while. There’s just so many fun situations to get him into, we have to explore the possibilities :-) Thanks for reading and reviews would be appreciated.

Chapter 8 - The ‘Oops’ Factor


“See, it’s not so bad,” Buffy said, grabbing Spike’s hand as they walked out
of the salon. “And you weren’t the only guy in there.”

Spike raised an eyebrow to her. “That was the mailman.”

“Still,” Buffy said with a giggle as they walked down the street. “Are we
still on for dinner tonight?”

“You bet,” Spike replied as Buffy let go of his hand, only to wrap her small
body around his arm. He smiled at the comforting feel of having her pressed
so close to him.

Spike was about to ask if they were still going to her mother’s for dinner
the following night but stopped when he saw Angel walking toward them. His
eyes automatically narrowed in response to seeing the poofter.

“There’s Angel,” Buffy said, letting go of his arm and picking up her pace.
“I’ll be right back.”

Spike watched as she walked toward him, feeling jealousy wash over him in
waves as he leaned against the side of a building, lighting a cigarette. He
watched as Angel made eye contact with him for a brief moment before
turning back to Buffy and giving her a sickening smile.

Buffy laughed at something he said before nodding her head and waving
good-bye.

“All done, pet?” Spike asked as she leaned against the wall next to him.

“Yeah…Angel’s coming with us tomorrow.”

“Is that right?” Spike replied, trying to appear uninterested and cover up
the seething jealousy he was feeling.

“Have you invited anyone?” she asked, tilting her head to look at him.

Spike tried not to notice how her highlights shimmered in the sunlight as
her wide green eyes looked at him inquisitively. “No,” Spike said, crushing
the cigarette under the heel of his boot.

“You could always invite Andrew,” Buffy said, her eyes wide in fake
innocence as Spike shot her a look.

“Very funny.”

“What time are we eating tonight?” Buffy asked, changing the subject.

“Eight.”

“Alright,” Buffy replied, walking away.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“To buy a new dress,” she said, turning around to wave as she walked away.
“I’ll see you at home, I want it to be a surprise.”

Spike smiled, waving good-bye as she disappeared around the corner. “At
least she wants to impress you, even though she thinks there’s not a chance,”
he muttered to himself. “That’s gotta mean something.”

* * * * *

Buffy walked into the apartment two hours later, holding the garment bag
that contained her new dress. “Spike!” she called, throwing her keys on the
kitchen counter, waiting for an answer. She frowned when none came, but
eventually shrugged, figuring he must be out for a little while.

She headed for the bathroom, deciding to start getting ready early, not
wanting to end up running late and missing their reservations. Opening the
bathroom door, Buffy froze seeing Spike standing on the bathmat, completely
naked.

Her hand flew to her mouth as she squeaked, causing Spike to look up, his
eyes widening. “Buffy.”

“I’m so sorry!” Buffy cried as she spun around, slamming the door shut as
she ran for her room, flying up the stairs faster than she ever had in the
past.

“Bloody hell,” Spike muttered, not bothering to dry off from his shower as
he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist before running after
her.

Buffy was sitting on the edge of her bed, her hands fisted in the comforter
as she looked at the floor. Spike had to smile at the exquisite shade of
red that her face had turned.

“Well, I know I’m impressive to look at, pet, but I’ve never had that
reaction,” he said with a chuckle as he sat down next to her.

Buffy couldn’t help it as she smiled, silently thanking him for lightening
the mood. “I’m so sorry, Spike. I didn’t think you were home.”

Spike leaned forward until he was in her eye-line, silently asking her to
face him and smiling when she finally looked up. “Buffy, we’re roommates.
This kind of thing happens, don’t worry about it.”

‘I could probably focus better if he wasn’t sitting here in nothing but a
towel,’ she thought, watching the small droplets of water slide down his
muscular chest and suppressing the urge to moisten her lips.

“I’m still sorry,” she said softly, forcing her eyes back to his.

“Well,” Spike said with a smile. “If it will make you feel any better, you
can always strip down so that we’re on even ground.”

Buffy smacked him on the chest, finally laughing at the situation. “As if
you’d get any type of thrill out of it,” she replied.

‘If you only knew,’ he thought with a grin.

Buffy looked at him for a long moment, tilting her head thoughtfully. “I
like your hair this way,” she said softly, reaching up to play with the soft
curls as Spike briefly closed his eyes at the wonderful feeling. “It’s more
natural. Well…as natural as you can get with all the chemicals on it.”

Spike chuckled with her, watching as she looked down at the floor, still
obviously a little shaken.

“So, it’s forgotten?” he asked, tilting her chin up to look in her eyes,
never removing his hand as she looked at him.

“Forgotten,” she confirmed, even though it was the furthest thing from the
truth.

“Great,” Spike murmured, the mood instantly changing as they looked into
each other’s eyes. Both were suddenly very aware of their close proximity
as they slowly moved toward each other.

Seconds before their lips met, the mood was instantly shattered as the
telephone rang, causing Spike to nearly leap from the bed, running a hand
through his damp hair. “Right…you get the phone and I’ll get dressed.”

Buffy was almost in a state of shock. On one hand, they had almost kissed.
On the other, Spike had nearly run away once the phone rang. “He’s not
interested, Buffy,” she muttered to herself as she went to answer it. “You
walked in on the guy naked- of course he’s going to be a little out of
sorts.”

It took everything Buffy had not to yell into the phone when she answered
it, frowning when she heard her mother on the other end, wanting to make
sure they would still be making the trip to L.A. the following night. She
made pleasant small talk, using every ounce of willpower not to think about
the muscular body whose image was now burned in her brain.





A/N We know a few people are worried about Buffy finding out the truth before it gets out of hand, so let us put you at ease- Buffy will find out in less than a week as far as the timeline goes. However, that is quite a few chapters from now, so we still have a lot to get through. It doesn’t get ridiculous or forced (at least we don’t think so) and when we get tired of writing the story, it will be summed up. We don’t plan on stretching out a perfectly good story, just to make it longer, we’re going by out notes and what we wanted to happen. At this point we are halfway finished, so please keep reading because the real story is about to start :-)

Chapter 9


The following morning, a mental war was raging in Spike’s head after he woke up.

‘She’s bringing Angel to dinner tonight, and there’s no way I can sit in a car with that wanker for a few hours, round-trip. Maybe I could lie and say I’m sick or something,’ he thought before frowning. ‘And then leave Angel and Buffy alone in a car that long? No way in hell.’ He sighed and lay back on his pillows. ‘Maybe if I have someone else along with me, I won’t want to throttle that ponce. But who? It’s going to have to be a guy, because hey- she still thinks I’m gay.’ He ran through his options for a moment before stopping on one. ‘Jackpot!’

He leaned over and grabbed the phone on his bedside table, dialing it quickly.

“Hello?” a tired voice asked, sounding somewhat cranky.

“Xander, I need a favor,” Spike said, grinning. “And trust me, you’ll be financially rewarded.”

* * * * *

Buffy was sitting on the couch, reading the morning paper, finding herself distracted by several thoughts plaguing her.

‘I saw Spike naked,’ she grinned. ‘Andrew would’ve died for that opportunity. Actually, I think most people would’ve.’ She sighed. ‘But he’s off-limits.’ Her mind switched targets. ‘And then there’s Angel. He’s incredibly nice, and humble, and quite good-looking. I hope Mom will like him.’

She heard Spike’s door open and pretended not to notice as he walked towards her, running a hand through his hair.

“Good morning, luv,” he said before sitting beside her. “I…I’m bringing someone tonight.” She looked at him, surprised.

“Oh? And who’s the lucky man?” she asked, putting down the newspaper on her lap.

“Xander,” he answered, smiling at the stunned look on her face.

‘I knew it! I knew there was something going on behind the surface!’ She paused. ‘Explains why he was practically throwing himself at me last week at the construction site. He must’ve been overcompensating when he thought that I didn’t know Spike was gay. How nice of him.’

“Well, I think that’s great,” Buffy said, looking at the paper. “I mean, he seems like a great guy.”

“Yeah, he is,” Spike said, taking the paper from her, his fingers lightly brushing across her thigh as he picked it up. Both felt a tiny jolt run through them, but Buffy wrote it off instantly.

‘Just an accident. Kind of impossible to grab it without him touching me a little.’

“So, Angel’s going to meet us here around four,” she said, standing up. “Is Xander coming here, too?”

“Yep,” Spike answered. “I told him to look nice. I want your mum to approve of him.” Spike held back a laugh at the priceless expression that crossed over her features.

‘Oh God, they’re serious, aren’t they?’ she frowned. ‘I mean, I suspected them dating, but I guess I never really put too much thought into it.’ She paused and sighed. ‘Well, at least Xander seems nice. I guess it wouldn’t be too bad having him here every once in awhile.’

“I’m sure Mom will like him,” she replied, heading to the stairs leading up to her room. “I’ve got a little bit of homework to do this afternoon, so if you need me, I’ll be up here.” He nodded and watched her go upstairs, smiling as he noticed how her hips swayed.

He wished they would be alone like they were the night before, enjoying a nice dinner together and talking like old friends. But after seeing her reaction to his announcement, he changed his mind.

‘Was it just me, or did she actually seem somewhat jealous about Xander?’ he thought to himself, finally chuckling. ‘I think tonight is going to be quite interesting after all.’

* * * * *

Around four o’clock, Spike wasn’t shocked to open the door for Angel. He let him in, and both men stood silently for a moment, exchanging a stern look.

“Hi, Angel,” Buffy said, walking down the stairs. The two men looked at her in awe.

‘She looks like a bloody angel,’ Spike thought, taking in the white dress she was wearing and how her golden hair made her face look like she was glowing. ‘She’s breath-taking.’

Buffy came over to them and smiled up at Angel.

“You look nice,” she said before turning to Spike. “As do you, roomie.”

Spike couldn’t tell if he should be happy or hurt by that comment.

‘She compliments him first and calls me roomie?’ he thought. ‘Is that all I am?’

Thankfully, someone knocked on the door, and Spike sighed in relief when he opened it to see Xander, standing there in khakis and a pink collared shirt.

‘He’s definitely getting a tip for wearing pink,’ Spike smirked.

“Hey,” Spike said, motioning for him to come in. “I believe you remember Buffy, and this is her friend, Angel. Angel, this is Xander.” The look Angel gave Spike didn’t go unnoticed by both him and Buffy. The strangers shook hands as Buffy grabbed her car keys.

“So, are we all ready to go?” she asked, looking between the three men. Spike took her keys.

“Yep, let’s go.” He smiled at the frown she gave him before leading the way out to her car.

* * * * *

When they finally arrived at her childhood home, Spike wanted nothing more than to get away from Buffy’s date. They had spent the whole ride chatting in the backseat, and Spike caught his eyes looking at them in the rearview mirror at least every two minutes, making sure they were only talking. After one glance, he caught himself swerving over into the next lane and mentally chastised himself.

‘Don’t let them get to you,’ he thought. ‘They’re just talking. Besides, Buffy wouldn’t do anything stupid with him.’ He paused. ‘Would she?’

The four exited the car and went to her front door, Buffy letting them all in. Joyce and Dawn were waiting in the living room and instantly stood up to greet everyone. Buffy hugged them both before deciding to introduce the two new men with them. For a second, Joyce almost suspected that the tall brunette man beside Spike was his date, but when she saw the glare Angel sent Spike’s way, she figured she was wrong.

“Mom, this is Angel,” Buffy said, motioning to him. “And this is Xander, Spike’s date.” Xander shot Spike a look of his own before coming forward to shake Joyce’s hand and smile at Buffy’s sister.

“It’s great to meet you both,” Joyce said, smiling warmly. “I’m happy you could all make it tonight. And I’m sure you’re all pretty hungry, so shall we get to it?”

Five heads nodded, and she led them into the dining room. Spike suppressed a glare as Angel sat beside Buffy, but he figured he could at least sit across from her.

‘It’s only tonight, Spike,’ he thought to himself. ‘Things are going to change from here on out.’

* * * * *

Spike kept a close eye on Angel as Joyce began serving the food. He found himself glaring at the subtle touches and secret smiles that were being exchanged between the couple across the table.

Dawn and Buffy made small talk as they all settled in to eat, catching up with each other.

“How’ve you been, Spike?” Joyce asked a moment later with a warm smile.

“Fine, Joyce,” he responded with his own smile. “Keeping busy, you know how it is.”

“And how do you two know each other?” she asked, directing her gaze at Xander, who in turn, threw his arm around Spike’s shoulders, nearly causing the blonde to choke.

“We’ve been friends for a while,” Xander replied with a friendly grin. “We work together now, and things just have a way of…evolving.”

Joyce’s smile faded when she heard Angel scoff. She turned to face him, but he made a show of looking at the food on his plate, trying to cover it with a cough, but it didn’t go unnoticed by anyone at the table and it made Spike's hatred of him grow. So what if he wasn’t gay? That’s still no reason for Angel to act the way he was.

'How can Buffy like a guy like this? One who's obviously a homophobe,' he thought, fury coursing through his veins.

“Something wrong, mate?” Spike asked with venom in his voice as he raised an
eyebrow at the larger man.

“Did I say anything was wrong?” Angel replied, taking a sip of his drink.

Buffy nervously worried her bottom lip as she looked between the two men. She was really wanting them to get along. After all, Spike was rapidly turning into her best friend, and she wanted him to approve of anyone she could
potentially begin dating. On the other hand, that was no reason for Angel to act the way he was.

“Great soup, Mom,” Buffy said, a little too loud, trying to overcompensate for the tension that filled the room.

“Thank you, Buffy,” Joyce replied. “So Angel, what do you do?” she asked, trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, since he could be around for a while.

“I’m a student at UCSunnydale. That’s how I met Buffy.”

“And are you two…seeing each other?”

Buffy was about to shake her head ‘no’ when Angel replied. “Yes.”

Spike’s eyes shot up to Buffy’s, the pain evident in his gaze as she offered him a small smile. She was confused by the look in his eyes, but she assumed that he was worried she would start ignoring him if she got a boyfriend. She would have to reassure him later that he would always be in her life.

Spike wanted nothing more that to get up for a cigarette, but he didn’t want to insult Joyce. Actually, he wanted nothing more than to throw a punch at Angel, but he didn’t think that would be such a good idea. 'Buffy would probably hit me back before kicking me out of the apartment,' he thought, clenching his fists indiscreetly under the table.

The Summers’ women made pleasant small talk, trying to involve the men as much as possible throughout the course of the meal, but it was apparent that none of them felt like talking.

When dinner was finally over, Spike helped with the dishes, in spite of Joyce’s protesting that ‘guests don’t do dishes.’ He insisted that his mother would yell at him if he didn’t offer to help, and Joyce had to smile at that.

'See, why can't Buffy meet a guy like this?' Joyce thought. 'A man who respects his mother and the mothers of everyone else?'

Spike and Joyce were laughing as they walked into the living room, and his smile immediately faded when he saw Buffy cuddled on the couch next to Angel.

‘That’s supposed to be me,’ he thought bitterly.

Xander and Dawn were laughing about something as Joyce sat next to her youngest daughter.

“Excuse me,” Spike mumbled, grabbing his duster and walking to the back of
the house and out onto the back porch.

He sighed, lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag, trying to relax as the normally comforting nicotine flowed into his lungs. Unfortunately, tonight it offered no comfort.

“Get it together, you pillock,” he muttered to himself, biting his bottom
lip as he tried to forget all about the happy couple in the house.

“Are you okay?”

Spike turned, surprised to see Buffy behind him, rubbing her bare arms against the slight chill in the air. Spike immediately put out his cigarette before shrugging out of his duster. Buffy gave him a grateful smile as he wrapped it around her body and began running his hands up and down her arms to warm her.

“You shouldn’t be out here, Buffy,” he said softly. “You’ve got a date
inside.”

“So do you,” Buffy replied, and Spike had to swallow his laugh.

“Maybe,” he replied. “But I think my guy is more comfortable here than
yours.”

“You don’t like him very much, do you?”

“Xander?” Spike asked, knowing that she was asking about Angel.

“Spike,” Buffy replied in a warning tone.

Spike sighed, his hands stilling their movements but never leaving her
arms. “I think you could do better, luv,” he said softly.

“Spike, you don’t even know him,” Buffy protested weakly.

“I know enough,” he said with a sigh, looking toward the house before
meeting her gaze again. “I know he’s not the right guy for you.”

“Is that right? And who is?”

“The exact opposite.”

“Spike, the exact opposite kind of guy would be…well…you.”

Spike gave her a gentle smile, leaning forward to brush his lips lightly
against hers in an innocent kiss.

Buffy watched with wide eyes as he turned and walked back into the house,
her hand coming up to touch her lips.

Buffy sighed, turning to lean against the railing of the porch. “Why
couldn’t it be you?” she whispered sadly, staring into the night.

Chapter 10 – Bonding


The next day, Buffy accepted Angel’s invitation to go out to dinner, even though Spike protested strongly against it.

‘I could handle him much easier when he wasn’t in the picture so much,’ Spike thought, watching Buffy scour through her closet for clothes to wear while he sat on her bed.

“What do you think about this dress?” Buffy asked, holding up a light lavender sundress.

“It’s nice,” he answered, shrugging. She frowned, sighed exasperatedly, and looked at him.

“You’ve called everything I’ve shown you ‘nice’,” she said. “You’re supposed to be helping me.”

‘Why would I help you look beautiful for him?’ Spike thought bitterly. ‘I don’t want him to be with you.’ She went back to her closet and pulled out a black skirt and a red blouse. ‘And she picks out my favorite colors- brilliant.’

“That will work,” Spike said, standing up and walking down the stairs, not willing to subject himself to watching her primp more for a date, considering he didn’t support it in the slightest.

Spike had called Xander to come over, hoping that his friend would keep him from killing Angel. Also, a part of him kind of hoped that Angel would make the mistake of saying something discriminatory about homosexuals, thus getting more evidence against the nancyboy.

‘Then I’d have an even better reason to punch him,’ Spike thought, sitting on the couch with Xander. This thought brought a smile to Spike’s face. They were watching a football game when Angel arrived. They watched Buffy come out of the bathroom, looking just as gorgeous as she always had. Both men let out a sigh as she went to the door, looking excited. ‘I wish she’d be that excited to see me.’

She opened the door and smiled up at Angel. “Hey.”

“Hey, Buffy,” he replied, handing her a bouquet of daisies. She looked at them, surprised.

“Daisies are my favorite,” she said. “Thank you.” He smiled at her and watched as she put them in a vase. Both men on the couch looked at each other, obviously displeased with the fact that Angel was trying to charm her. Spike was grateful that Xander was there. His friend was starting to look at Buffy as a little sister and, luckily, didn’t like Angel anymore than Spike did.

Buffy looked at Spike and Xander. ‘Why do I feel so uncomfortable about having them here? Alone, especially?’ she asked herself. ‘Perhaps it’s because you’d rather be here alone with him.’ She sighed and tried to clear her head.

“Well, we’re heading out,” she said. Spike looked at her and nodded, trying to mask how he felt. “We’ll see you two later. Have good night.”

“You too, luv,” Spike replied, averting his eyes as he clenched his jaw slightly. Buffy and Angel left the apartment, and Xander looked at Spike.

“I can see why you hate him, man,” he said. “There’s got to be some way of getting Buffy to see that she shouldn’t be with him.” Spike nodded and sank down on the couch. “I wouldn’t worry. We’ll figure it out.”

‘I just hope it isn’t too late when we do,’ Spike thought sadly, running a hand through his hair.

* * * * *

Buffy and Angel showed up at the restaurant that she and Spike had been to a couple of nights before. Angel must’ve noticed the look on her face because he instantly frowned.

“If you don’t like this place, we can go somewhere else,” he quickly offered. She looked at him.

“No, I love this place,” she said, managing a small smile. “Let’s go in and eat.”

They got out of the car and went inside, being seated in a booth. As it turned out, it was the same one she and Spike had occupied.

‘This is starting to be weird,’ she thought, opening her menu. ‘I feel like I’m disrespecting Spike by being here. Almost like I’m cheating on him, but that’s just silly. I mean really, how many restaurants are there in this town? It’s not like we have a whole lot of options.’ She paused. ‘Maybe sitting in this booth is an omen. Of what, I don’t exactly know, but this all feels incredibly strange.’

“Is everything okay?” Angel asked, looking at her. She nodded and looked at her menu.

‘How come I don’t exactly believe her?’ he thought to himself, trying to brush off the insecurities he was feeling.

After ordering and getting their wine, Angel filled their glasses and suggested he propose a toast.

‘Well, that’s kind of romantic,’ she thought, raising her glass to his.

“May this relationship last and grow into something more,” he said, and she tapped her glass against his, drinking some of the Merlot.

‘And may I stop lusting after Spike,’ she thought, putting down the glass and looking at Angel.

* * * * *

A couple of hours later, Spike was happy to see that Buffy had returned and that Angel didn’t come in with her. She put her keys and purse down before going over to Spike and sitting beside him on the couch.

“Hey,” she said, looking somewhat tired. “Xander already left?” Spike nodded, looking at her.

“How did the date go?” he asked, trying his best to keep his tone neutral.

“It went great,” she smiled softly, curling up. “He’s a really nice guy.” Spike frowned. “And I know you don’t like him, but I…I enjoy spending time with him.”

“Your mum doesn’t seem to fancy him too much either,” he said. She looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “When we were washing dishes last night, she mentioned how she didn’t really think Angel was your type.” Buffy sat up quickly, crossing her arms.

‘Maybe I shouldn’t have said that to her,’ he thought, his eyes widening slightly, noticing how defensive she became suddenly.

“Angel’s a great guy, and I don’t think it’s her place to say he isn’t my type,” she said sternly. “She doesn’t even know what my type is. I like Angel, and I’m not going to stop seeing him because you two don’t like him.”

“Not to burst your bubble, pet, but I’d say your mum knows your type,” Spike replied. “Give her some credit- she was the one who raised you and saw who you brought home during your teenage years. Parents know a lot more about their kids than their children think they do. And I’d have to agree with her that I don’t think he’s your type at all.” Buffy stood up and straightened out her skirt.

“You don’t know my type either, Spike,” she said. “You haven’t been around long enough to know, so don’t judge my choices on who I date. Okay?” Spike stood up and looked at her, their eyes locking.

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt,” he said, choosing not to start an argument with her.

“I’ll be fine,” she replied, trying to lose the defensive edge to her voice. “Good night.” She walked away and went up to her room. Spike sighed and sat back down on the couch, resting his head on the back of the couch and shutting his eyes.

'What would she do if she knew I was straight?' he asked himself. 'Would she ditch him and be with me instead?' He clenched his fists. 'You're the reason she's not with you, mate. You should've told her the truth right away, and maybe you wouldn't be in this mess right now.'

* * * * *

Buffy tossed and turned in her bed later that night, sleep continually
eluding her. She felt guilty about what she’d said to Spike a few hours
before. It wasn’t fair for her to have told him that he hadn’t been around
long enough to know her. He knew her better than anyone.

Buffy sighed, climbing out of her bed, and wrapped her arms around herself,
warding off the chill of the drafty apartment. She padded down the stairs,
not bothering to notice that she was only wearing a sports bra and a pair of
short shorts. All of the lights were turned off, so Buffy headed down the
short hallway to his bedroom.

She knocked lightly, not really expecting an answer as she pushed the door
open. The moonlight streamed through the window, bathing Spike in a blue
and silver glow as he peacefully slept.

Buffy felt her stomach clench as she, once again, thought of the hurtful
things she had said to a man who had done nothing more than acted as her
friend. Crossing the room, Buffy crawled into bed with him, scooting closer
to the warmth of his body until she was cuddled against his bare chest, her
leg brushing against the soft fabric of his sweatpants as Spike stirred in
his sleep.

“Buffy?” he asked in a hoarse whisper, trying to wake up a little more.
“What’s wrong, luv?”

Buffy looked up, her eyes meeting his, and Spike frowned at the pain that he
saw there.

“Tell me,” he whispered, pulling her closer when he felt how cool her skin
was.

“I’m sorry,” Buffy said softly. “About earlier…it wasn’t fair to you.”

“What’s that, pet?” he asked drowsily.

“When I said that you didn’t know me. You’re my best friend, Spike, and I
don’t want you mad at me.”

Spike gave her a tender smile, letting his hand trail over her arm and up to
her face, brushing the hair away from her eyes. “Don’t worry about it,” he
said quietly, never breaking eye contact with her.

“Can I stay here tonight?” she asked, the innocence of her simple question
causing Spike’s heart to flip.

“Of course you can stay here,” he whispered, smiling as she snuggled into
his chest.

Buffy sighed in contentment when she felt his lips brush over the top of her
head. ‘Why does this feel so right?’ she asked herself as her hand lightly
played along the strong muscles of his chest. ‘Why do I have the feeling
that every man I meet will be compared to this man?’

Buffy sighed again, this time in frustration.

“Something else bothering you?” Spike asked, frowning when Buffy shook her
head. He wasn’t about to be fooled by that. “Tell me, Buffy.”

Buffy kept her head where it was against his chest, avoiding his eyes as she
spoke. “Why don’t you like Angel?”

Spike tensed slightly, licking his lips as he thought of an unbiased
response to her question. “Bad vibes, I guess.”

“You don’t think I’m safe with him?” she asked, propping her head up on his
chest as she looked into his eyes.

Spike gently played with a strand of hair, letting it fall through his
fingers before picking it up again, enjoying the feel of the silky locks.
“If I didn’t think you were safe, I would never let you go out with him
alone,” he whispered honestly, trying to convey his emotions through his
eyes.

Buffy felt tears shimmer in her eyes at the tenderness in his voice. “You
really do care about me, don’t you?”

“You know I do,” Spike whispered in a husky voice, feeling his heartbeat
speed up as Buffy leaned forward to leave a gentle kiss on his lips.

The kiss was a little longer than the one they had shared the night before,
but it was just as sweet. Spike felt a slight panic fill him as Buffy began
to pull away, his hands coming up to lace through her hair, pulling her lips
back to his in a more passionate kiss.

Buffy gasped into his mouth as his tongue slipped past her lips, dueling
with hers as his hands held her in place. She quickly made herself forget
all of the reasons why this shouldn’t be happening and lost herself in the
kiss, moaning when Spike rolled them, their lips never separating as he
settled himself on top of her.

Buffy’s hands ran up the defined muscles of his arms, to thread through his
hair, holding him to her as the kiss deepened. Spike felt as if a fire was
burning inside of him as his hands wandered her body, relishing the soft
curves under his fingertips.

He could feel his muscles tense as her body arched beneath his, causing his
already painfully hard erection to grow even larger. He couldn’t stop the
natural response to push back against her, letting his hands leave her body
to fist in the sheets next to her head, trying to control his raging
emotions.

Their lips stayed firmly locked as they slowly moved together, moaning as
their bodies seemed to fit together perfectly, even with the few layers of
clothing that still separated them.

Slowly breaking away, Spike’s lips trailed down her throat, swirling his
tongue along her collarbone and eliciting a moan before moving back up to
meet her lips again. He pulled back for a moment to catch his breath,
realizing his mistake when Buffy’s eyes widened as she realized what they
were doing.

“Oh my God,” she whispered, her expression one of shock.

Spike immediately rolled off of her, not wanting her to think he was going
to force her into something. Buffy sat up, her heart pounding from a
mixture of lust and embarrassment as she realized what just happened.

Spike watched, still in too much shock to do anything, as Buffy climbed out
of the bed and hurriedly left the room. He felt his stomach drop as he
flopped back onto the bed, looking at the ceiling.

“Bloody hell.”

A/N I write love scene after love scene for you people and everyone likes the smoochies from the last chapter LOL! I’ll have to remember that for future reference. I do want to thank everyone who has reviewed and I know Allison loves all of the reviews, as well. We’re getting to the point where Buffy finds out, but we’re going to string you along for another chapter or two :-) I know, we’re evil, but it will be worth it. Enjoy the update and, as always, please review! ~Ash



Chapter 11 – Denial


The next morning, Spike woke up early and hopped in the shower, praying that he could avoid Buffy at all costs. He had no idea what he was going to say to her, knowing that she’d definitely need answers to what had happened.

‘Well, here’s what happened- I’ve wanted her since the first moment I saw her, and I decided to take a chance last night like the bloody moron I am,’ he thought, standing under the hot spray of water. ‘How do I even begin to explain this to her? Am I ready to admit the truth to her?’ He paused. ‘She’s going to kick me out when she finds out, isn’t she? Our friendship is based on a lie. A big one, at that. I have a feeling she’s never going to forgive me for letting it get this bad.’

After getting dressed and ready to leave the apartment for a few hours, he got out of the bathroom and headed towards the kitchen to get his keys. Unfortunately for him, Buffy was awake and standing in front of a set of cabinets, grabbing a box of cereal. She looked at him and instantly averted her eyes, too afraid to address the situation they had found themselves in the night before.

‘Why did I kiss him back?’ she asked herself. ‘I mean, besides the fact I have Angel, I know Spike doesn’t like me like that. We’re friends, and he has Xander. Why did he kiss me like that in the first place? Maybe he’s bi,’ this thought caused Buffy to pause before another one fluttered through her brain. ‘Oh God, maybe it was more like I forced myself on him. Maybe he was just going with what I was doing and didn’t want to stop for fear of hurting me.’ She shut her eyes, cursing herself. ‘Good job, Summers. How’re you going to explain your way out of this one?’ She noticed him looking at her. ‘How do you explain to your gay roommate that you want him?’

“Buffy, I don’t know what happened last night,” Spike began, shoving his hands in his pockets, trying to figure out what he should tell her. “I’m sorry if I was out of line, and I didn’t mean for it to get that far. I hope you can forgive me.” She looked at him, surprised.

‘He’s blaming this all on him?’ she thought to herself, raising an eyebrow.

“Um, yeah,” she said quietly. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” He nodded and headed to the door. “Where are you going?” He stopped as he gripped the doorknob, not turning to look at her for fear that she’d see how he was really feeling about their situation.

“To see Xander,” he answered, letting himself out and closing the door behind him. Buffy leaned back against the counters and sighed, upset.

‘Things aren’t going to be the same ever again, are they?’

* * * * *

Xander looked at his friend sitting across from him at the dining room table, trying to be helpful.

“Do you think she was mad that you kissed her?” Xander asked. Spike shrugged.

“I have no idea how she feels about it besides the fact she looked freaked out before she ran out of my room and up to hers,” he answered, drinking from his beer bottle. “I mean, I’d be upset if my gay roommate forced himself on me, wouldn’t you?” Xander laughed slightly. “Shut up, whelp, this is serious. What the sodding hell am I going to do now? I’ve dug myself into this hole and I don’t know how to get out without serious consequences. She probably wants me to move out.”

“Did she say that?” Xander asked. Spike shook his head. “What exactly did she say?”

“I asked her if she’d forgive me, and she said ‘it’s okay’ and ‘don’t worry about it’,” Spike muttered. “Obviously it’s not okay and I’m worrying about it.” He finished his beer. “I don’t want to go back there, Xand. Not yet.” Xander looked at his watch.

“You can stay here for a while if you’d like,” he offered. “Anya and I are meeting up in a couple of minutes for lunch.” Spike looked at him graciously. “Try to be gone before we come back, though. I’ve been trying to prove my masculinity ever since the charade we pulled in L.A.” Spike chuckled and patted his friend on the back.

“Thanks,” Spike replied. “I owe you one, Xander.” The two exchanged a smile before Xander stood up and left the apartment. Spike stared down the neck of the empty beer bottle, lost in thought again.

‘You’ve got to face her sometime, Spike. You dug your own grave, and now it’s time to crawl your way out of it.’ He paused. ‘Right, I’ve got all day to get out of it.’ He rested his head down on the table and shut his eyes, hoping he wouldn’t have any dreams of Buffy.

* * * * *

Buffy spent most of her time in town that day, avoiding her apartment. She knew she and Spike would have to talk about everything eventually.

‘There’s no way you can just ignore a make-out session like that,’ she thought sadly.

After spending sordid amounts of money at the mall for the second time that month, she decided to walk through the art gallery that was nearby.

‘At least that might take my mind off of him,’ she thought. ‘Hopefully.’

She spent at least an hour there, looking at the art and watching a class of students take notes on several paintings. She smiled at them, remembering how she had several field trips here for her college art classes.

After leaving, she walked into the local coffee shop next door and had just placed her order when she saw Xander sitting at a table with a pretty blonde woman.

‘I wonder if those two are like me and Spike,’ she said, studying the two, laughing at something Xander had just said. Xander took the woman’s hand in his and kissed the top of it, looking into her eyes. She raised an eyebrow at the display but shrugged it off, grabbing her drink from the guy behind the counter.

When Buffy turned back around to leave, her eyes fell on Xander and the woman, watching as he leaned over and kissed her. She stopped walking.

‘That’s nothing- just a chaste kiss,’ she thought, watching them intently. ‘A chaste kiss with tongue…oh my god.” She quickly left the café, going back to the apartment and having a mental breakdown. ‘What am I going to tell Spike?’

* * * * *

When Spike finally mustered up the courage to return to the apartment, it was almost dinnertime. He still was at a loss of what to say to Buffy, but he knew there was no use in putting off.

‘Time to face it like a man,’ he frowned. ‘Because you’re the pillock who kissed her.’

When he walked into the apartment, he saw Buffy sitting on a chair in the living room area, her head in her hands. He raised an eyebrow, instantly worried.

“Buffy?” he asked, and her head shot up, her eyes looking at him. “What’s wrong, luv?”

“I have something I need to tell you,” she said quietly. Spike put down his keys and walked over to her, crouching down in front of her. She looked at him and took a deep breath.

“You can tell me what’s wrong, pet,” he said, scared that she was going to ask him to move out.

‘You probably deserve it,’ he thought sadly. ‘Or maybe I should offer to leave.’ Before he could open his mouth to suggest it, she spoke.

"I saw Xander and a woman in town today," she began, looking down. "He's cheating on you."

Spike couldn’t help the smile that overtook his features as he looked at Buffy. She was so stressed out and obviously concerned that this bit of information was going to hurt him that he felt so much sympathy for the
poor girl. He also found her even more attractive since she was worried about him.

‘Now’s the time,’ Spike thought. 'It’s perfect, just come out…bad choice of
words…just tell her the truth.’

“Buffy,” he said softly, taking her hand in his as she looked into his eyes.
“Xander’s not gay.”

‘Coward.’

Buffy’s eyes widened in shock. “What?”

“I asked him to go with me to your mum’s, but he’s not gay. He’s just my
best friend…nothing more. He has a girlfriend, and I’m guessing she’s who
you saw today.” Spike paused for a moment, his brow furrowing as he thought
of something. “And if she wasn’t the one you saw, I’m going to have to go
kick his ass.”

“Wh-why did you say he was gay?”

“I never really did,” Spike said with a shrug. “I didn’t want you to think
I was a ponce since I didn’t invite anyone."

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief hearing the news. She didn’t know if she
was relieved because, more or less, that let her off the hook for the kiss
last night, or because Spike was still single.

Spike watched as Buffy gave him a dazzling smile before wrapping her arms around his neck in a tight hug. Realizing what she was doing, Buffy jumped away, causing Spike to look at her in confusion. “Something wrong, pet?” When Buffy didn’t answer, Spike gently took her chin in his hands, turning her to face him. “I don’t want things to be weird between us, Buffy,” he said softly, looking directly in her eyes.

“It’s just last night…”

Spike brought his other hand up to cup her face as he looked at her. “Was
special,” he finished in a whisper. “It’s a night I will always
remember...in a very good way.”

Buffy gave him a tentative smile as his hands left her face to pull her
closer to him for another hug. She clung to him, thankful that things were
getting back to the way they were supposed to be.

“What do you say we have a movie night, pet?” Spike asked, pulling away to look at her with a hopeful expression. ‘And maybe I can get the courage to tell you the truth.’

Buffy looked at him with remorseful eyes. “I can’t,” she said softly. “I
have a date.”

Spike pulled back slightly, feeling more hurt than he had any right to be.
“With Angel?”

Buffy nodded, biting her lip.

“Right then,” Spike replied, backing toward the door.

“Spike, please don’t be mad-“

“Not mad, luv,” Spike replied with an obviously fake smile. “I’ll be out
for the evening.”

“Spike-“

‘It’s fine, Buffy, really,” he said in a tone that was almost uncaring.

“Okay,” she said softly, breathing a heavy sigh when the door closed behind
him.

* * * * *

Spike had waited until he was sure Buffy had left for her date before
returning to the apartment. It was now close to midnight, and Spike could
hear the front door opening and closing. He was relieved she was back. He
always felt better when she was safe and sound inside their apartment.

He gave Buffy a few minutes, knowing she would want to change, before he
would go see how her date went. Closing his book, he walked out of his
bedroom, down the hall, and into the living room, surprised to see the lights
were all turned off.

‘Surely she wouldn’t go to sleep without saying goodnight…or at the very
least making sure I was home.’

Spike felt along the wall until he found the switch and flipped it on.

‘Bloody hell, I should have left it off,’ he thought as Buffy jumped,
disentangling herself from Angel’s arms as Angel shot the other man a death
look at what he had obviously interrupted.

Buffy stood, straightening her clothes as she offered nervous smiles to both
men. Neither of whom noticed, since they were too busy glaring at each
other.

“Spike,” she said in a voice that was abnormally high pitched. “I didn’t
think you were home.”

Spike took a deep breath, trying to control every nerve in his body from
attacking the other man. “Just on my way out, luv.”

“No! You don’t have to do that- we’ll leave.”

“We will?” Angel asked, his eyebrows raised. “It seems to me this
apartment is big enough for all of us.” Spike glared at him as he stood up,
walking over to Buffy and wrapping an arm around her waist. “We can just go
to your bedroom,” he said to her in a low tone.

Buffy’s eyes never left Spike’s as she tried to gauge his reaction. Spike
kept a careful mask in place as he looked at her. “You two stay down here,”
he said softly, ignoring her date. “I’m just going out to buy some
smokes…I’ll be back in a little while.” The last statement was directed at
Angel as he smirked at the other man.

Buffy nodded, her eyes saddened for reasons Spike didn’t understand as he
turned and walked out of the apartment. Shutting the door behind him, Spike
leaned back and squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to think about what
might be going on behind that door.

“Spike?”

Normally, that voice would grate on his nerves, but tonight it was a welcome
distraction. “”Yeah, Andrew?”

“Is something wrong?”

Spike opened his eyes, looking at the younger man. “Just had to get out for
a while…needed some space.”

“Oh…I get that. You know, as long as you…need some space, you could always come over to my place.”

For some strange reason, Spike found the invitation as a comforting break
from his life. Andrew really was a nice guy, and he was nothing if not
entertaining. “You got beer?” Spike asked, walking toward his door.

* * * * *

After Andrew let Spike into his apartment, Spike couldn’t help but look at all of the action figures and posters scattered about. The apartment was in the same set-up as Buffy’s, but Andrew had obviously filled it up with a lot of geek paraphernalia.

‘Why are you shocked?’ he thought to himself. ‘He’s the type of guy you’d picture enjoying Star Trek.’ Spike eyed a little figurine on a stand and picked it up. He heard Andrew gasp.

“That’s a limited edition, 1979 mint condition Boba Fett,” Andrew said, looking terrified. Spike raised an eyebrow, looking at him. “Will you please put that down?” Spike did as asked and raised his hands in surrender, taking a step back. Andrew breathed a sigh of relief. “Sorry, I’m just very skittish about people touching my collectibles.”

“I can see that,” Spike replied, managing a smile. Andrew walked to the refrigerator and pulled out two beers before handing Spike one. “Thanks.” Andrew smiled, and the two men opened the bottles, drinking some. Spike noticed the odd look Andrew had after drinking his.

‘The kid has beer but doesn’t drink it?’ he thought, confused. ‘Maybe it’s only for company.’

“So, why did you need space?” Andrew asked casually, leaning back against the kitchen counter.

“Buffy has her great oaf of a boy-toy over,” Spike muttered, drinking a large gulp of beer.

“Riley’s back?” Andrew asked, shocked. Spike looked at him and shook his head. “Then who?”

“Angel, a fellow student at UC-Sunnydale,” he answered sarcastically. “You know about Riley?”

“That I do,” Andrew said. “Do you know about him, too?” Spike shrugged. “She didn’t tell you all about it?” Spike shook his head. “Well, how about we have a seat then? This could take a bit of time.” Andrew motioned to his couch, and Spike sat down. Andrew sat on a parallel couch, looking at Spike.

“How long were they dating? What went wrong? What was he like?” Spike asked quickly, his mind spinning with questions he wanted answered.

‘If Buffy won’t tell me, I’ll get my information from the next best thing- gossipy Andrew.’

“Slow down, tiger,” Andrew said before smiling. “Let me tell it my way.” Spike motioned for him to proceed. “Well, they began dating about two years ago, when she was a freshman in college.” Spike relaxed on the couch, eager for more. “Well, the long and short of it is, they were a happy couple, always together, the picture of perfection. Until things started going wrong for them.”

“What exactly went wrong?” Spike asked, becoming worried. Andrew sighed. “Andrew?”

“Well, Riley wanted to get married, and Buffy wasn’t ready,” Andrew shrugged. “It all started to go downhill after that. I began seeing Riley come back to the apartment with random girls while she was out.” Spike clenched his fists, becoming furious. “Buffy found out about two months ago and kicked him out. As far as I know, she hasn’t talked to him since.”

‘At least my girl is smart enough to not keep him around after he’s shagging behind her back,’ he thought to himself.

“I think it really hurt her because her father cheated on her mother,” Andrew said, looking at the 98 % full bottle in his hand. Spike raised an eyebrow.

‘That explains why she called her father ‘absentee’ before,’ he sighed. ‘And why she freaked out when we were kissing the other night- she doesn’t want to cheat on Angel.’ Spike looked down and shut his eyes.

“Spike, are you okay?” Andrew asked, causing Spike to look at him.

“I’m fine, Andrew,” Spike answered, smiling softly. “Thank you for telling me about Riley.”

* * * * *

An hour had passed since Spike left, and Buffy was really starting to get worried. Around one o’clock, she pulled away from Angel and stood up. He looked at her, confused.

“I have an early morning tomorrow,” she lied. “Do you mind if we call it a night?”

“Oh,” Angel said, standing up. “Okay.” She smiled politely at him and led him to the door.

“Good night, Angel,” she said, leaning up to kiss him softly. He smiled at her.

“Good night, Buffy,” he replied. She let him out and watched him get into the elevator before going back inside the apartment and quickly dialing Spike’s cell phone number. After about two rings, he finally picked up.

“Where are you?” she practically hissed. “It’s one o’clock in the morning!”

“I’m just visiting with my old pal Andrew here,” Spike answered. Buffy raised an eyebrow.

‘What? He’s hanging out with Andrew?’ she thought, shocked. She hung up the phone and stormed down the hallway, knocking on Andrew’s door. Andrew opened it, smiling at her.

“Hi,” he said. “Would you like to come in?” She shot him a look, and he backed off, letting her go over to Spike. He looked at her, smirking.

“Come to take me home, pet?” he asked, putting down his second beer bottle of the night.

“Let’s go,” she said. “It’s getting late.”

He sighed. “Yes, Mum,” he muttered, following her to the door.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Night, Andrew.”

“Thanks,” Spike said, smiling at the younger man.

Andrew smiled back at him. “Good night, you two,” he said, watching them go to their apartment. “See you around.” Buffy opened their door and let them in before locking it behind her. She walked to her stairs, ready to go to sleep, when Spike gently grabbed her arm.

“Why do you seem so upset?” he asked, looking at her, concerned. “Did that ponce do something to you?”

“No, it was you,” she replied, tilting her head. “You said you’d be back soon, and you weren’t. Not that I believed you were really going out for cigarettes at midnight, but I gave you the benefit of the doubt.” She crossed her arms, frowning.

‘She’s pretty cute when she’s angry,’ he thought, looking at the fire in her eyes.

“Do you know how worried I’ve been?” she asked, looking down. “Anything could’ve happened to you.” He smiled and tilted her chin up, looking into her eyes.

“I’m fine, luv,” he replied. “And I’m sorry I worried you.” He kissed her forehead softly. “Now why don’t you go to bed? You look exhausted.” She nodded and hugged him. He hugged her back, not wanting to let her go but finally releasing her from his embrace. “Good night, Buffy.”

“Good night, Spike,” she said quietly before yawning. She walked up the steps to her room while Spike made his way down the hallway and into his own room.

'I didn't mean to worry her,' he thought, sitting on his bed. 'Maybe I can make it up to her tomorrow.' He smiled at the thought and laid back on his pillows, looking out the open window.

Chapter 12 – Making Up

“Rise and shine, sleepyhead!” Spike called with a smile, throwing a pillow
at Buffy’s sleeping form.

Buffy moaned, saying something unrecognizable while curling into a ball.
Spike walked over to her window, throwing the curtains back and letting the
sunlight stream in. Buffy burrowed under her covers, throwing muffled
insults his way as she tried to get back to sleep.

“Oh, don’t be like that,” Spike said, falling onto the bed and waiting for
any sign of life from her small body. When none came, a wicked grin spread
over his face before his fingers mercilessly tickled her ribs. Buffy
screeched, practically leaping out of the bed as she tried to get away from
the assault.

“Stop!” she screamed, her plea not as effective through all the giggles that
were erupting from her. “Spike, please stop!” she begged, writhing on the
bed as Spike pinned her down and laughed with her.

Buffy pouted, breathing heavily when he finally stopped. Looking into his
cobalt eyes, she gave him a pout as he chuckled at her. “That wasn’t a very
nice way to wake up.”

“I tried to do it the nice way…you made me result to drastic measures,”
Spike replied, resisting the urge to kiss her pouty lip as he climbed off of
her. “Besides, you seemed to enjoy it.”

“Why are you waking me up so early, anyway?” Buffy asked, throwing a glare
his way as she began rubbing her eyes.

“I’m taking you shopping,” Spike announced.

Buffy’s eyes widened. “You’re serious? You have been shopping with me,
right?”

“Yes.”

“So, you do know what that entails?”

“Yes,” Spike answered again with a smile. “I felt bad for making you worry
last night. This is my peace offering. Take it or leave it.”

“Oooh, peace offering most definitely accepted,” Buffy replied, crawling out
of bed and running to her closet. Spike watched as she gave an excited
little hop, her blonde hair shimmering in the sunlight.

“I’ll let you get ready, pet,” Spike said, heading for the stairs.

“Okay,” Buffy replied. “Give me an hour.”

* * * * *

Two hours later, Spike and Buffy walked into the mall as Spike was debating
just what he’d gotten himself into.

‘Maybe I should have made a different peace offering,’ he thought. ‘Ice
cream and flowers probably would have worked just as well…too late now. On
the plus side, maybe she’ll make another trip to Victoria’s Secret.’

Spike had to shake his head to clear himself of that vision. He knew he
wouldn’t be able to take advantage of that situation again. Although, it
would be very hard to walk away from, but things were different now. The
consequences would be much higher.

“Where to first, pet?”

“I feel like doing something fun,” Buffy replied, grabbing his hand in hers.
“What about the pet store? I love looking at all the cute little
puppies.”

“Off to the pet store, then,” Spike said, dropping her hand. He saw the
confused look on her face, but it quickly disappeared when he wrapped his
arm around her waist.

They stopped outside the pet store, looking at the little bunny rabbits that
were hopping around in the window display. Buffy moved in front of him
slowly so as not to dislodge his hand from her waist. Spike smiled,
wrapping both arms around her waist and letting his chin drop to the top of
her head as she cooed over the little fluffballs.

“Excuse me.”

Buffy and Spike both turned at the soft voice and smiled at the elderly
woman who was standing beside them.

“I just wanted to tell you that you two make such an attractive couple,”
she said with a sweet smile.

Spike felt his stomach clench, wanting that to be a fact and not just an
observation. He was about to tell her that they weren’t together when
Buffy jumped in.

“Thank you,” she said warmly as the woman walked into the shop.

Spike let his chin fall to her shoulder. “What was that, pet?”

Buffy shrugged, effectively jostling Spike, but he stayed where he was.
“Why disappoint her when she went out of her way to give us a compliment?”

“You’re wonderful, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told,” she said with a giggle as Spike lightly tickled her
stomach for a moment.

“You want to go in there, or are we going to look through the window all
day?”

“We’ll go,” Buffy replied. “But you do know I’ll want to buy every puppy
and kitten in there, right?”

“I think I’ll be able to live with that.”

* * * * *

Forty-five minutes later, Spike was practically dragging a very reluctant
Buffy from the store. “They’re so cute,” Buffy said with a sad face. “I
wish we could take them all home.”

“I know,” Spike said softly, holding her hand as they walked toward the
center of the mall. “Chin up, luv, and I’ll buy you a milkshake.”

“Okay,” Buffy said with a sigh.

“Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for.”

Buffy shot Spike a sheepish smile. “Sorry, a milkshake would be great.”

Five minutes later, both sat down at one of the tables in the food-court,
sipping their drinks. “What about him?” Buffy asked, tilting her head as
she made casual conversation.

“What about…who?”

“That guy,” Buffy said, discreetly gesturing to a man walking down one of
the corridors. “Hotness factor on a scale of one to ten…what do you give
him?”

Spike restrained himself from banging his head against the table as he
looked at the man. ‘Is this really happening? It’s gotten to the point
where I’m checking out other blokes with her?’

“I’m really not good with the rating system, pet.”

“Oh, come on. You have eyes,” she said, her own eyes following the man as
he walked. “Okay, forget the ratings system…would you do him?”

“Oh dear God,” Spike mumbled under his breath, nervously licking his lips.

Buffy turned her attention back to Spike. “What did you say?”

“Seven,” Spike replied, feeling his masculinity draining out of him. “I’d
give him a seven.”
* * * * *
Buffy let them into the apartment after a productive day of shopping. Spike followed her in, trudging under the weight of her purchases he was carrying.
“Thanks for taking me out shopping,” she smiled at him, taking everything out of his hands with ease.

“You’re welcome,” he replied, amazed at how strong she really was.

‘Does she work out or something?’ he asked himself. ‘I mean, between helping me move in my furniture and carrying all of that stuff, she’s got to be a tough cookie.’ He smiled. ‘I love it.’

“So, what are the plans for the rest of the day?” she asked, her tone hopeful. “Cooking for me? Groveling?”

“Aren’t I already forgiven?” he asked, pouting. She smiled brightly at him and took everything upstairs to her room. He smiled and checked his voicemail messages on his cell phone, getting one from Xander. He listened to it and called his friend back.

“Hey, Spike,” Xander said. “Anya’s working all day, and I was wondering if you wanted to come over. Maybe watch a game, drink a few beers, pack in some food that’s not healthy in the slightest?” Spike laughed.

“Yeah, I should be able to spare a couple of hours,” he answered. “I’ll be over soon.” He hung up and smirked.

“You’re leaving?” Buffy asked, descending the stairs, looking at him. He frowned and looked back at her.

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “Xander invited me over, so I figured I’d go over there for a bit. Is that okay?” She nodded sadly, looking down. He walked over to her and kissed her forehead lightly. “Then I’ll come back and make you dinner. Deal?” She looked at him and smiled.

“Sounds good,” she replied. “Have a good time. Say hi to him for me.” He nodded and grabbed his keys, walking out the door.

She sighed and sat on the couch.

‘What to do now?’

* * * * *

Not even twenty minutes passed, and Buffy was bored out of her mind. She even resorted to finding a small rubber ball and bouncing it around in the kitchen while reading through a magazine. She came across a picture of an overly thin model in next to nothing and narrowed her eyes.

‘Do they enjoy looking like flesh-colored bones?’ she thought, getting angry and putting more impact into bouncing the ball. She frowned as she watched it ricochet off the walls in the hallway before disappearing in Spike’s room. She mumbled a swear and went to track it down, not spotting it anywhere on the floor of his bedroom.

‘Maybe it rolled under his bed.’

She lay down on her stomach and pushed the covers that were hanging over the edge away to see if she could find it.

‘Jackpot.’

It was sitting right in front of a stack of notebooks. Buffy raised an eyebrow, surprised that the notebooks were the only thing he’d stored under there. She retrieved the ball and looked at the notebooks.

‘I can’t look at them. I mean, if he hid them here, they must be important.’ She paused. ‘Or full of juicy information. Okay, that’s probably wishful thinking. But I can’t look. It would be wrong.’

Her hands moved of their own volition, bringing the stack out from under the bed. ‘Bad Buffy. Since when are you so nosy?’

She shrugged and sat on top of his bed, looking at them, trying to decide whether she should look or not. ‘Well, maybe just take a peek. That won’t hurt anything.’

She took a deep breath and opened up the top notebook, looking at the first page. ‘It’s a poem.’ She read through it and raised an eyebrow. ‘It’s beautifully written. And it’s about a girl.’ She flipped through more pages, reading them. ‘Still about a girl.’ She found herself going through every poem, finding that each one was always about some girl that he admired. ‘What the hell?’ She moved on to the next notebook, diligent to figure out what was going on.

An hour passed, and the notebooks were scattered around her, her looking at the fourth one from the pile. After reading the last page, she laid back on a pillow, staring at the notebooks all around her. ‘He must’ve been in love with a girl before he decided he was gay. Maybe she broke his heart, and he chose men over women.’ She frowned sadly. ‘If I ever meet her, I’ll kill her myself.’

* * * * *

When Spike came home from Xander’s, he didn’t see Buffy downstairs. He wandered up the stairs and frowned when he didn’t see her there either, but he figured maybe she’d gone out for a bit. He slowly walked toward his room and saw her on his bed, his private collection of notebooks surrounding her. His heart seized in his chest, and he felt his face paling.

‘How did she find those?’ he thought, panicking. ‘What…how…did she read them?’

“Buffy?” he asked, looking at her. She looked at him, the guilt clearly evident in her eyes. “What’re you doing?”

She got off the bed quickly and looked down, not wanting to look at his eyes.

“I…you’re not going to believe me,” she said quietly, realizing how stupid her alibi really was.

‘Sad part is, it’s completely true. And if you were smart, you wouldn’t have even touched the notebooks in the first place.’

“Why don’t you try explaining it to me?” he asked, trying not to sound too angry and failing miserably.

“Well, I was playing with a rubber ball,” she said, holding it in the palm of her hand as her proof. “And I wasn’t paying attention to where I was throwing it, and it kind of…got away from me.”

“And how does that lead to you looking at my personal belongings?” he asked, crossing his arms, his eyes narrowed.

“It rolled under your bed, and I went to get it back, and that’s when I came across them,” she said, shutting her eyes.

‘There’s no way you can explain the rest of the story. You won’t get away with it.’

“And you just decided to whip them out and read through them?” he asked, not bothering to mask how disappointed he was.

“Yes,” she admitted, feeling incredibly stupid. “I’m so sorry, Spike. I should never have brought them out. You had them hidden away, and they weren’t for my eyes to see.” He nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. “I am really sorry though.” She finally looked at him, and he saw the tears forming in her eyes. His anger dissipated almost instantly, and he came forward to hug her.

“It’s okay,” he said, enjoying the feel of her face burying itself against his chest. “I forgive you.”

“You do?” she asked, surprised, looking at him again. He nodded and ran his hand over her hair.

“But just this once,” he replied, winking at her. She managed a smile and watched as he grabbed the notebooks.

She walked away preparing to leave the room, but turned back when she got to the doorway.

“Spike?” she asked, waiting until he looked at her. “They’re really quite good.” She turned, leaving the room as Spike smiled.

'I can't say I believe she likes my witless prattle. But there's no way she knows who they are about.'



A/N Spike’s ‘going in’ (is that the right term?) would have been this chapter, but let’s face it- Buffy had to have him check out guys with her :-) We also really wanted her to find his poetry, so a lot was covered in the chapter to tie up some loose ends. I think a lot of people will be very happy with the next chapter- but that’s all I’m saying :-)

Chapter 13 – Comfort


Two days later, Buffy walked through the door, holding back her sobs as she
slammed it and walked across the apartment. Sinking down onto the couch,
Buffy buried her head in the cushions as the tears fell.

Spike walked out of his room, running a hand through his hair, still wet
from the shower. He thought he’d heard the door, and walking into the main
room, his eyes widened as he saw Buffy on the couch, her tiny body shaking
with silent sobs.

Spike ran over to her, dropping to his knees in front of her. “Buffy, luv,
what’s wrong? What happened?”

Buffy raised her tear-streaked face to Spike, throwing herself into his arms
as fresh sobs wracked her body.

“Sweetheart, you’re scaring me,” Spike murmured, his stomach in knots as he
held onto her, smoothing her hair.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered in a choked voice.

“What happened?” Spike asked, dreading the answer.

“Angel,” Buffy whispered, clutching at his shirt as Spike leaned back to
look at her.

“What did he do?” Spike growled.

Buffy took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself as she held onto
him. “I-I went over there…I wanted to surprise him, and he was…”

Spike closed his eyes, already knowing the end to this story. “Another
woman?” he whispered, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Buffy nodded as fresh tears streaked down her face.

“I’m sorry, luv.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. Spike
carefully lifted her into his arms, turning around to sit down on the couch
as Buffy burrowed into him, seeking the comfort he provided.

Spike murmured gentle reassurances to her, his hands never stopping their
movements through her hair.

“Is there something wrong with me, Spike?” Buffy asked softly. “Something
that makes guys want to run away from me?”

“No, baby,” he whispered as she pulled back to look at him, feeling the need
to go and beat the piss out of Angel. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong
with you…any man is a fool not to see that.”

Buffy sniffled, looking down as she tried to catch her breath. “Then why
does it feel like my fault?” she whispered.

“Why don’t you tell me?” he asked gently.

“Because I never slept with him,” she murmured, looking at her hands.

Spike felt like cheering, but under the circumstances, settled on a gentle
smile. “Buffy, no one should decide to stay with you just because you slept
together. That’s not fair to you, pet. You’re better than that,” he
whispered, playing with her hair. “I just know that Angel is a bloody ponce
for taking you for granted.”

“Thank you,” Buffy whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

Spike stared hungrily at her lips as they pulled away from each other
before looking into her eyes, almost asking permission. Buffy looked at him
nervously as she leaned forward again, lightly pressing her lips to his as
his hands slowly wrapped around her body, pulling her closer to him as she
straddled his lap.

Spike moaned as she deepened the kiss, lightly grinding herself against his
growing erection. Pulling away from each other, their eyes met as Spike
suddenly realized what they were doing.

“We can still stop, Buffy,” he murmured.

Buffy looked into his eyes. “This is crazy, isn’t it?” she asked softly, her
hands running over his chest as she held her breath for his answer.

“It is,” Spike agreed. “And after what I’ve just told you…”

“I know you would never take advantage of me, Spike,” she whispered, looking
to him for confirmation.

Spike leaned forward, brushing light kisses along her shoulder. “No, luv…I
would never take advantage of you. Do you want to do this?”

Buffy didn’t answer as she stood up, pulling him to his feet and kissing him
again. Spike closed his eyes, relishing the feel of her lips against his as
their hands worked on each other’s clothes, trying to pull them off as
quickly as possible.

When both were undressed, Spike felt his breath catch as Buffy blushed under
his gaze. “You’re beautiful,” he said softly, leaving kisses along her jaw.
“Exquisite.”

Buffy arched her back against his body as Spike sat down on the couch,
pulling her on top of him again. Their eyes met in understanding as Buffy
slowly rose up, positioning him at her entrance, before sinking down onto
him.

Spike’s eyes widened as they looked at each other, his breath coming in
gasps at the feel of her surrounding him. Buffy briefly closed her eyes,
reopening them and biting her lip as she began to slowly move on top of him.

Spike could see and feel her hesitancy as he leaned forward, meeting her
lips with his as his hands wandered along the curves of her body, slowly
coming up to cup her breasts. He smiled against her lips at the breathy
moans she was giving him. He could feel the change in her attitude, and it
was his turn to moan as she began moving against him with more confidence.

Spike clenched his jaw as his hands traveled to her hips, controlling her
movements so he wouldn’t come too soon. His head fell to her shoulder as
she moved with him.

“I’ve dreamed about this,” she whispered, running her hands through his
hair, her words alone nearly sending Spike over the edge. “I’ve wanted
you for so long.”

“I’ve wanted you, too, pet,” he rasped, closing his eyes in pleasure.
“Needed you…every bloody minute since I met you.”

Buffy vaguely heard his words, but didn’t have time to think about them when she feltl herself begin to lose control as she moved at a more furious pace. “Oh God, Spike,” she moaned as he wrapped his arms around
her.

Their lips met in a passionate kiss. Buffy broke away after a moment,
screaming out her climax as she moved on top of him, losing all of her
inhibitions as she rode wave after wave of ecstasy.

Her scream sent Spike pulsing inside of her, calling out her name as they
continued to move together, both riding out the bliss.

As reality began to come back to them, Spike felt an overwhelming sense of
guilt. ‘You should have told her,’ he thought, inwardly kicking himself.
‘It’s not fair that she doesn’t know.’

Buffy’s eyes widened as she caught her breath. “Spike-“

Spike placed a finger over her lips as they separated from each other, both
still craving the contact the other had provided. “Don’t think,” he
murmured, pulling her close to him as they lay down on the couch together.
“Don’t worry about anything. We’ll work everything out.”

Buffy relaxed, cuddling close to him as her eyes drifted closed in
exhaustion.

* * * * *

Buffy’s eyes slowly opened the next morning, frowning slightly when she
encountered a muscular chest in her line of vision. Her eyes widened as she
sat up, the previous night's activities coming crashing back to her as she
took in their naked bodies.

At some point, Spike must have covered them with a blanket. Buffy grabbed
it, wrapping it around her body as she began to gather her clothes. “Oh my
God,” she said, trying to hold her tears back. She realized that her
weakness had probably ruined the best friendship she had ever had.

Spike stirred slightly, opening his eyes and smiling when he saw Buffy. The
smile immediately disappeared when he saw that she was rapidly trying to
find her clothes.

“What’s wrong, pet?”

Buffy’s eyes snapped up to him before turning away with a blush at his
naked form. Spike smiled, but sat up anyway, quickly pulling on his jeans before
walking over to her.

“What’s wrong?” he asked again.

“I’m sorry, Spike,” Buffy whispered, biting her lip against the tears. “I
never meant to take it that far, and I’ve probably really messed this up
and-“

“Buffy! You haven’t messed up anything,” Spike said, wanting to take her in
his arms but settling on grabbing her hand.

“How can you say that?” Buffy asked. “I just slept with a man who I had
written off as being my number one off-limits guy and-“

“Buffy,” Spike said softly, closing his eyes before opening them to stare
into Buffy’s. “I’m not gay.”



A/N We’re thinking about putting this story on hiatus for a little while…just kidding! *insert evil laugh* (Scared you for a minute, huh?) Please review for the next chapter!

Chapter 14 – Setting it Straight


Buffy looked at him, tilting her head and raising an eyebrow before slightly smiling. “Ha ha, very funny,” she said. “Thanks for trying to make me feel better about this, but-”

“Buffy, listen to me,” Spike said, putting his hands on her shoulders and locking eyes with hers. “I’m not gay.” Her smile fell, and she took a step back from him, her eyes never leaving his.

“What?” she asked, her tone suddenly becoming both serious and confused. “What do you mean you’re not gay?”

Spike looked down, ashamed. She stood straighter, her eyes widening. “But that woman said…you said…the poetry, the shopping- oh god, the shopping! You were in the dressing room! And Victoria’s Secret…oh my god!”

She covered her face in her hands, finally letting tears fall. Spike moved closer to her to try to hug her, but she pushed him back, her eyes filled with fire. “Don’t you dare touch me! How could you? You lied to me, Spike! Why would you lie to me?” He watched tears roll down her cheeks and felt horrible.

‘Yeah, mate, why did you keep up the charade?’ he asked himself, running a hand through his hair.

“You were so comfortable with me when you thought I was gay,” he said sadly. “I liked the way we were together, and I…I couldn’t bring myself to tell you.” He paused. “And now I really wish I would’ve.”

“Get out,” she said sharply, crossing her arms. He looked at her, stunned. “Get out!” He pulled on his shirt and slid on his boots before leaving quickly, going down the hall and knocking on a familiar door.

“Spike?” Andrew asked, shocked. Spike looked at him, and Andrew could tell something was wrong. He let him in and shut the door behind him. “What happened?”

“I buggered up everything,” Spike muttered, sitting down on the couch and burying his face in his hands.

* * * * *

Buffy lay down on her bed, sobbing into her pillow.

‘How could he lie to me?’ she asked herself. ‘Why would he do that? I trusted him. Completely. I can’t believe Spike would do something like that. This isn’t real. This isn’t happening.’ She pinched herself.

“Oww!” she said, looking at the red spot forming on her arm. “It is real. He lied to me, and this is all real.” She heard a knock on the door and hesitated before getting up.

‘If it’s him, I’ll kick his ass,’ she thought, heading down the stairs and opening the door, surprised.
“Xander?” she asked, looking at him. He smiled at her and frowned when he noticed her red eyes and tear tracks down her cheeks.

“Buffy, is everything all right?” he asked quietly. She shook her head and broke down crying again. He hugged her, genuinely worried. “What happened?”

“Spike,” she said, backing away a little to wipe off her cheeks. “I’m so sorry- your shirt is all splotchy now.” Xander looked at it and shrugged, managing a smile.

“It’ll dry,” he said before turning his attention back to her. “What happened with Spike?”

“He lied to me,” she replied, looking at him. “And so did you, for that matter! You both said he was gay!” Xander felt guilt flood him.

‘So the bleached wonder finally told her the truth. Explains why he’s not around,’ he thought.

“Buffy, let me explain,” he said, ushering her to the couch to sit down while crouching in front of her. “Spike is a good man, and yeah, he may have pulled off an elaborate lie behind your back, but I know he cares about you. I don’t know why he didn’t tell you right away, but he adores you, and I know he never wanted to hurt you.” She looked at him, seeing how sincere he seemed.

“I don’t know where he is,” she said, looking down at her lap. “I told him to leave, and he did, and I don’t know where he went.” He sighed and pulled out his cell phone. “Xander?” He looked at her. “Why do you think he lied to me?”

“Because he likes you and didn’t have the balls to say it,” Xander said, smiling softly. She looked at him. “He’s liked you ever since he first saw you. From day one, it’s been Buffy this and Buffy that. At least you’re a good woman. Not like Drusilla was.” Her eyes widened.

“Drusilla?” she asked, her mind spinning. “Did Spike call her a nickname?”

“Yeah, Dru,” he replied, confused. “Why?” She looked down.

‘And that was your own fault, Summers,’ she thought. ‘Dru is a girl, not a guy. Damn it.’

“Can you call him?” she asked hesitantly. He nodded and dialed the number.

‘What do I even say to him?’ she thought, running her hands through her hair.

* * * * *

Spike’s cell phone rang in his pocket, and he pulled it out, looking at the Caller ID. “Sorry, Andrew, I’ve got to take this call.” Andrew waved it off as Spike answered it. “Hey, Xander. What’s up?”

“Where are you, man?” Xander asked. “Buffy told me you left.” Spike raised an eyebrow.

“Buffy? You talked to her?” he asked, standing up quickly. “Where are you, mate?”

“Answer me first,” Xander said, a hint of mischief in his tone.

“Not bloody funny,” Spike said sharply. “Did she call you? Why were you talking to Buffy?”

“Because I’m in your apartment with her,” Xander replied. Spike froze. “So, I repeat, where are you?”

"Down the hall," Spike answered, looking at Andrew, who smiled back at him. "I'll be right there." He hung up and headed to the door. "Sorry to cut this short."

"Go get the girl, Spike," Andrew said, watching Spike leave and go into his apartment. Andrew sighed dreamily and smiled as he shut the door.

* * * * *

Buffy jumped at the soft knock on the door, not because it scared her, but
because she knew who was on the other side of the door. Xander walked over
to answer it, giving his friend a compassionate look before turning to
Buffy.

“I’ll leave you two alone.”

Buffy didn’t say anything as she and Spike stared at each other, her small
arms wrapped around her body in a comforting gesture. Spike took a step
forward, but Buffy merely took a step back as he reached out to her.

“Buffy, I’m-“

“Why’d you let it go on so long?” she whispered.

“I don’t know,” he said softly. “Why didn’t you ever ask me?”

“Why didn’t I ask…”

Buffy trailed off in surprise as she looked at him.

“My God, Spike, when you tell me your ex is Dru, what am I supposed to
think? When you have your friend pose as your boyfriend- and don’t think we
won’t be talking about that one later,” she said, pointing at him. “I mean,
for crying out loud, you have a job where you dress up like one of the
Village People, and you think I needed more clarity? Maybe I should have
asked you, but you had plenty of opportunities to come clean.”

“I have,” Spike murmured. “And I never meant for things to go that far…at
least, not without you knowing the truth.”

Spike took a hesitant step forward as Buffy worried her lower lip, looking
at the floor.

“Buffy, I would never hurt you.”

“You already did,” she said softly, shaking her head as she battled fresh
tears. “How am I supposed to trust you again?”

Although the context of the question wasn’t in the best form, Spike couldn’t
help the small amount of relief at the idea that she might try and trust him
again. Maybe all wasn’t lost yet.

“Have you lied about anything else?” she asked softly. “Now would be the
time to tell me.”

Spike quickly shook his head. “That’s the only thing,” he said quietly as
he walked toward her. “The name’s William, I love having movie nights with
my roommate, I really do hate that ponce you were dating, Andrew’s really
not my type, I AM terrified of your driving, and I like writing poetry,” he
murmured, wrapping his arms around her waist. “About you.”

Buffy’s eyes snapped up to his at the confession. “Me?”

Spike nodded, a soft smile playing on his lips. “I’ve never felt this way
about anyone, Buffy. When I thought I’d lost you…have I lost you?” he asked
in a strained voice.

Buffy shook her head, attempting to clear it. “Can I have some time?” she
asked softly, looking into his eyes.

Spike felt fear rip through his chest but nodded, dropping his arms from
her waist as he walked to the door.

“Spike.”

Spike turned at the sound of his name.

“No matter what happens…I want you as my friend.”

Spike gave her a gentle smile. “I’ve wanted you from day one, Buffy. If
you’re willing to give me anything, that’s fine with me.”

Buffy watched as he walked out of the apartment. “I’ve wanted you, too,”
she whispered.

Chapter 15 – Bribery Will Get You…


Spike sat in his car, resting his head on the steering wheel, as he took deep breaths.

‘She’s giving me another chance. I owe her for that,’ he thought to himself, his mind reeling with thoughts. ‘I owe her for hurting her so bad.’ He sighed. ‘But how do I pay her back for the damage I’ve caused her already?’ He started the car and began driving aimlessly through town. ‘Well, I have a feeling flowers alone won’t do the trick…maybe chocolate?’

“No, you owe her big time, mate,” he said out loud. “But what should I give her?”

He came up with an idea and pulled his car over in front of the art gallery.

‘Well, I could buy her art, yes,’ he thought, not disliking the idea too much. ‘It is her major, after all.’ He frowned. ‘Is there a price minimum on forgiveness gifts after you’ve lied to a girl since you met her? Because I’m thinking everything in there is going to be expensive. Not that Buffy’s isn’t worth it, but I don’t have an extra grand sitting around.’ He pulled out his cell phone and called Xander’s apartment. His girlfriend Anya answered. ‘This’ll work.’

“Hey, Anya,” Spike said. “If Xander lied to you about something big, and he wanted to repay you, what would you want?”

“Lots of orgasms,” she answered bluntly. “What is he lying to me about?” Spike smiled slightly.

“He’s not lying to you,” Spike replied. “Thanks, luv.” He hung up the phone and looked around town.

‘Not that I’m against the orgasms idea, but I don’t think Buffy would jump for that right now,’ he thought. ‘Well, maybe.’ He smirked and quickly dismissed the thought. ‘Come on, Spike, what does she like? What would make her smile?’ He suddenly came up with the perfect gift and drove to the mall.

* * * * *

After taking a shower and eating something, Buffy decided to try to take her mind off of things by watching TV. She failed miserably, instantly being bombarded by thoughts.

‘I know he screwed up, but I don’t think he’s a bad man,’ she thought. ‘At least he didn’t cheat on me.’ She frowned. ‘Why am I always attracted to liars and cheaters? Do I have some sick obsession of being drawn to the ones who will hurt me?’ She ran her hands through her hair before resting her head on the back of the couch. ‘He seemed genuinely sorry. And he did agree to being my friend, so that’s good I guess. But how can we be just friends after what we’ve been through, what we’ve done together?’ She sighed. ‘And why did he leave? I could’ve still talked some of this stuff out.’ Her mind popped back to something he had said.

“The poetry,” she said quietly, her eyes widening. She jumped up and went to his room, laying on her stomach beside the bed and retrieving the notebooks he kept there. She sat on his bed again and decided to re-read them, thinking that she’d gain more of an understanding about how he really felt about her. Plus, knowing the words he had written were about her made her want to be reminded of them and how she felt reading them. She smiled, looking at the first poem she opened to. “He wrote about me.”

She had been reading for at least half an hour when she heard the door open. She got up and shoved the notebooks under the bed again, hoping he wouldn’t find out about her reading them this time.

“Spike?” she asked, walking out of his room, praying he wouldn’t see her exiting it.

‘I’ll just say I was in the bathroom,’ she thought. ‘Right, not looking at his private collection of poetry. But he said they were about me- what girl wouldn’t go snooping to look at something about her?’ She went down the hallway and saw Spike in the doorway and something in his arms with a ribbon on it.

“Oh my god,” she said quietly, her hand going up to cover her mouth in shock. “You bought me a puppy.” He grinned proudly at her and looked down at the chocolate Labrador with the red bow on it.

“Do you like it?” Spike asked hesitantly when he noticed the look in her eyes.

‘She hates it,’ he thought sadly. ‘She likes dogs, doesn’t she? Maybe she doesn’t like the idea of living with one. And I guess it’s kind of a commitment to raise one. It’s like a child. Our child.’ He withheld a smirk at the thought. ‘But I can’t return him. I’ve already grown fond of the little pup.’

“It’s…it’s darling,” she said, finally smiling and approaching him. He smiled and held it out to her. She took it from him and cradled it in her arms. “He’s so tiny and cute!”

‘She looks so happy. Maybe she’s not so against the idea of us raising a puppy together.’

“So you like it, luv? You won’t make me give it back?” Spike asked. She looked at him with wide eyes and shook her head vehemently.

“You’re not taking it away from me,” she replied, looking down at the dog and smiling again. “I love it.” She giggled. “We’ve got to name it! What should we name it?” She paused. “Is it a boy or a girl?”

“It’s a girl,” he replied, petting its head softly, smiling. “The only female chocolate lab puppy at the store, to be exact. I figured since you like chocolate, I’d get you one like this.” She smiled at him and looked at the puppy, noticing how happy it looked.

“Well, can’t name it Spike,” she grinned. Spike growled slightly at her, and she looked at him. “Would be kind of funny, though.”

“Are you implying that I’m a dog?” he asked, managing a smirk. She giggled and looked at the dog.

"If it's a girl, I'm not naming her Spike," she said, looking at the dog's
brown eyes. "Hmm, what should we name you, little one?" Then it came to her.
“What about Sunshine?”

“Sunshine,” Spike repeated, looking at the puppy. “It’s perfect, luv,” he
said with a smile. His smile slowly faded as he stared at Buffy, seeing how
happy she was. “Am I forgiven?” he asked hesitantly.

Buffy looked at the tiny puppy, dozing in her arms, before raising her eyes
to Spike. “I think we still need to talk,” she said softly. “But I’m not
mad anymore.”

Spike breathed a sigh of relief. “Talking is good,” he said with a nod.

* * * * *

A few minutes later, Buffy held the sleeping puppy on her lap as she gently
stroked its fur. “You do know this is bribery, right?” she asked as Spike
looked at her with an innocent expression.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, luv,” he said with wide eyes.

Buffy gave him a soft smile, her eyes continuously traveling back to the
puppy. “What comes next?” she asked quietly.

“I was thinking that would be up to you,” he replied, watching her
anxiously.

Buffy stayed quiet for a moment, avoiding his eyes. “I like you, Spike,”
she whispered, almost shyly. “I’ve liked you since I first met you, and when
I thought that you were…you turned into the best friend I’ve ever had.”

Spike watched her carefully, restraining himself from reaching out and
touching her- he didn’t want to scare her off. “I feel the same, pet,” he
said softly, watching as Buffy raised her eyes to his.

“Then I’ll ask you again,” Buffy said with a hopeful expression. “What
comes next?”

Spike slowly slid over to her, careful not to wake the puppy as he slipped
an arm around her shoulders. “What if I said…us?”

“Us?”

“I’m sorry I lied, Buffy,” he whispered, brushing a gentle kiss along her
forehead as Buffy shut her eyes, enjoying the feel of him so close. “Am I
forgiven?”

Buffy didn’t answer as she angled her head, meeting his lips in a gentle
kiss. Spike let his hands drift up to her hair, holding her head in place
as his tongue drifted along her lower lip, begging entrance. Buffy moaned
when her lips parted, letting his tongue meet hers in a soft caress.

This was their first kiss. It was the first one not filled with confusion.
Not based on something fake.

The passion of the kiss slowly faded as Spike pulled away. Buffy looked at
him with clouded eyes before nervously biting her lip.

“What wrong?” he asked softly, letting his hand trail along her cheek.

“What happens if this doesn’t work out?” she asked. “We could lose what we
have.”

“Not necessarily,” Spike argued gently before smiling. “We could be like
Ross and Rachel.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow at him. “It took them more than ten years to figure
out what they had.”

“I don’t need to figure out what I have,” he replied in a husky whisper as
Buffy blushed.

He leaned in for another soft kiss before carefully pulling her off the
couch, watching with a smile as Sunshine opened her sleepy eyes to give them
a look of indignation.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted,” he said softly. “Someone wore
me out last night,” he finished with a grin as Buffy blushed. Spike
carefully took the puppy from Buffy and placed her in a dog bed that he’d
carried in earlier. He had to smile when the dog curled up comfortably and
went back to sleep.

“Lazy little thing, isn’t she?” he asked with a smile as Buffy giggled.

“What if she gets up in the middle of the night?” Buffy asked.

“We can put her in my room,” he said softly as he walked her to the stairs.
“I’ll hear if she gets up,” he continued, letting his hand trail over her
arm.

“How will you hear her if you’re upstairs?”

Spike tilted his head, studying Buffy as she took his hand in her smaller
one and began leading him up the staircase. “Buffy,” he finally whispered
as they got to the top of the stairs. “You don’t have to-“

His words were cut off as Buffy’s lips fused with his. Spike’s arms
immediately wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer as their tongues
dueled together.

Buffy broke away after a moment, leaving them both gasping for air as she
bit her bottom lip. Spike watched with lust-filled eyes as she began
backing toward the bed, slowly stripping her clothes along the way.

Buffy gave him a coy smile as the last of her clothes fell from her body,
causing Spike’s breath to come in small gasps as she slowly sat down on the
edge of the bed. He watched as she slid along the comforter, propping
herself up as she looked at him. “Aren’t you coming?”

Spike slipped his shirt over his head with a smirk as he approached the bed,
shedding the rest of his clothes before crawling the length of her body.
“Not yet,” he murmured, causing a red flush to tint Buffy’s cheeks. Spike
chuckled, shaking his head as he looked at her.

“What?” Buffy asked, suddenly self-conscious.

Spike leaned down, leaving a gentle kiss on her lips before answering.
“Look at what we’re about to do, and you’re embarrassed about a little
innuendo.”

Buffy giggled softly, her smile fading as Spike settled in between her legs,
letting her hips cradle his.

“Are you sure about this, Buffy?” he asked, letting his hands run through
her hair, keeping her as relaxed as possible.

“I’m sure,” she said softly, kissing along his neck and shoulders, smiling
when his muscles quivered under her touch.

Spike took a deep breath, easing into her body with a moan as Buffy moved
with him. He slowly began to thrust in and out of her, repressing ever urge
to pound into her welcoming body, not wanting to hurt her.

Buffy pushed against him, craving more contact. They moved together for
several minutes, slowly picking up speed as Spike began plunging into her
with more abandon. Their slick bodies each seeking release as their lips
met in a hungry kiss.

Spike could feel his climax approaching as Buffy writhed beneath him,
seconds before her muscles began fluttering, squeezing him almost painfully
as she screamed out her release.

Buffy’s scream of pleasure sent Spike over the edge as he thrust into her.
“Buffy!”

Both gasped for breath as Buffy let her hands trail along Spike’s back
before he slowly rose above her, looking into her emerald eyes.

“I never thought I’d have this,” he whispered, brushing the hair out of her
eyes.

Buffy felt her body tremble at the intensity of his gaze. “Me either,” she
whispered seconds before his lips met hers.

Spike slowly rolled, pulling Buffy with him as he left her comforting body.
“I don’t know about you, pet, but I’m exhausted.”

“Me too,” she murmured before a smile spread across her face. “Now…about
you ‘dating’ Xander…”

“Bloody hell,” Spike groaned, throwing his head back on the pillows as Buffy
giggled.



A/N We know a lot of people wanted angst, but this was meant to be a lighter story with very little drama. Only one more chapter to go, so please review!

Chapter 16 – When You Love Someone


A month had passed since Spike confessed, and Buffy was happy that their relationship hadn’t diminished. If anything, it had grown stronger, especially due to the fact that they were a couple now instead of just being friends.

They went to the mall to shop one afternoon, entrusting Andrew with Sunshine. Buffy had flashbacks of the times they’d been there in the past, when she was clueless as to the fact he was really straight.

‘You think I would’ve noticed something was up,’ she thought, thinking about when they had been in Victoria’s Secret, grinning. ‘Well, figuratively speaking, at least.’ She giggled to herself as Spike looked at her.

“What’s so funny, luv?” he asked curiously, smiling at her while wrapping his arm around her waist.

“I just can’t believe I didn’t figure your little lie out sooner,” she shrugged. “I mean, I know I was in denial about stuff, but really, how could you be gay? The poetry is a little questionable still, and I wasn’t kidding that day about dressing like a member of the Village People-“

“Hey!” Spike interrupted indignantly.

“BUT,” Buffy continued, bringing his attention back to her. “You’re not like any of the gay guys I’ve ever known.”

“Not every gay guy is like Andrew,” Spike chuckled, lightly kissing her temple as she laughed.

“I thought you two were buddies?” she asked, smirking. Spike looked down at her and smirked, too.

“A person can only handle so much nerdy stuff,” he replied. She shot him a look playfully.

“Andrew isn’t a nerd,” she said, trying not to smile. “He’s a passionate hobbyist.” Spike laughed again.

“Right, I can agree to that,” he said before leaning down and kissing her. “Now, let’s have another trip back to Victoria’s Secret,” he said, biting his lips and raising an eyebrow at her as she giggled.

“Going to pick things out for me?” she asked suggestively. He groaned and kissed her again before grabbing her hand and pulling her along behind him to the store.

* * * * *

The couple returned to their apartment hours later, bags from various stores filling their hands. Sunshine came bounding towards them before jumping on Buffy’s leg, her tail wagging excitedly.

“Well, hello, cutie,” she grinned, picking the dog up in her arms. She noticed a pout on Spike’s lips. “What?”

“You called her my nickname,” he answered. Buffy kissed him softly. “I suppose I’ll forgive you.”

“Thanks ever so,” she laughed, petting the dog’s head. She noticed Andrew sitting on the couch, paging through a magazine. “How’s it going, Andrew?” He closed the magazine and stood up.

“Pretty well,” he replied. “How was shopping?” He looked at all of the bags. “Productive?”

“You betcha,” Buffy giggled, putting down Sunshine. “Thanks for watching her for us.”

“Not a problem,” Andrew shrugged, heading for the door. “I like dogs. She seems like a kindred spirit.” Both Buffy and Spike exchanged a look as Andrew opened the door. “Well, I better go,” he continued. “I have a date.”

“Really? With who?” Buffy asked.

“Oh, a guy I met at the grocery store. His name is Jonathon Levinson and he seems really nice. I’ll see you around,” he said with a wave as he left, and the couple instantly smiled at each other.

“’Kindred spirit’?” Spike asked, looking at her. “Maybe he’s found his own.” Buffy nodded.

“And I was thinking about introducing him to that Lorne guy who owns the club down the street,” Spike said with a smile as Buffy laughed.

“He can always be a back-up,” she said before a wicked smile flashed on her features. “Unless you want to fill in that role…since you’re so close, after all.”

“Will you stop it?” he asked, grinning, coming closer to her and tickling her. She shrieked loudly, breaking down into hysterics before she managed to fight back, getting him to laugh, too. “Fine. Truce?”

“Yeah,” she agreed, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. “You’re forgiven.”

* * * * *

Buffy and Spike decided to take Sunshine to the beach after dinner, right around sunset. The beach was practically deserted, so they unleashed her, letting her run through the shallow surf and follow them as they walked down the beach, hand-in-hand. The dog never strayed far from Buffy, anyway.

Buffy looked at him, seeing how the sun’s dying rays cascaded over his features, making him look even more gorgeous than normal. She smiled brightly and squeezed his hand.

“Spike?” she asked quietly. He looked at her, slightly concerned. “I love you.” He instantly stopped walking, an eyebrow raised. She smiled and put her hands on his hips, looking up at him. “I’ve loved you for a long time. As a friend originally, but I always secretly wanted it to be something more. And now that it is…I just wanted to tell you. I’m in love with you.” He paused before grinning and picking her up, swinging her around in a circle. “Spike!” He put her back down and kissed her as passionately as he could, cupping her face in his hands. When they finally broke apart to breathe, they locked eyes and rested their foreheads together.

“I love you, too,” he whispered, running his hand over her hair and kissing her softly this time. “I love you so bloody much, Buffy. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to say that to you.”

“Since we met, right?” she joked, giggling. He laughed, too, and held her close to him in a hug.

“Something like that, yeah,” he replied. “I just didn’t think that you loved me back, yet.”

“You knew I’d love you?” she asked, looking at him and smiling. He returned the smile.

“I wished it,” he said, looking into her eyes. Sunshine suddenly nuzzled her nose into Buffy’s leg. She promptly bent down and picked her up, petting her. “She looks sleepy.”

“Should we take her home and get her to bed?” Buffy asked, looking at him.

“Sure,” he smiled, wiggling his eyebrows. “I’ll take both of my girls home and get them to bed.”

“You’re evil,” Buffy giggled, kissing him and taking his hand in hers again. “I better be the only girl in our bed.”

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Spike replied, leading them back towards the car.





A/N Thank you to everyone for all of the awesome reviews! If you liked this story (and I'm assuming you did if you read it to the end) Allison and I now have a joint account under the name Goldilocks. We are still co-writing stories together, so please keep an eye out for any future collaborations on that account. Thanks again- we appreciate it so much!

~Ashlee